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writerunnamed · 5 days

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note: This is something I've wanted to write for a while but I am well aware that not everyone will be into it. There are a few stories I want to tell that aren't the norm so I decided to start this nameless blog to tell them. I am not tagging anyone, if you find it then you find it. xo Joel(stepdad), significant age gap, female reader. 18+ legal, reader is 20 (warnings: pov sex, Joel spits on the 😸, boobie play, really inappropriate dirty talk, an unused sex toy [will make an appearance in another chapter], female masturbation, daddy kink, unfit parent) 5.6k word count

He takes up so much space, and it wasn’t just physically. He took up space emotionally, mentally. Mentally most of all. Your thoughts always drifted back to him. Cyclical. An elliptical pattern making him the top of every list you’d go through in your head. He seemed to know it too, in a stoic, quiet, largely unsettling way. Older, attractive men tended to do that.

It started during that in-between time, when summer, losing your job, and having to move back home pushed you to figure out what the fuck you actually wanted to do with your life seemed to come together like the planets aligning. The precipice of a turning point, a ticking clock counting down the days until your childhood bedroom would be turned into a gym, or an office, or a guest bedroom. The lukewarm welcome from your mother would ice over and you’d really have to get your shit together.

Your mother was what people who didn’t know her would call ‘a free spirit’, what you called her, was a fucking mess.

Your earliest memories consist of having to remind her to buy milk or to pay the bill because the electricity had turned off while watching cartoons in front of the tiny, living room tv. You’d had to remind her, in not so many words, that she was the mother, and you were the child.

To your friends, she was the cool mom. The party mom. Your house was the place to be because she didn’t ask questions, she left her cigarettes unattended and didn’t mind if a few went missing. She kept the bar cart stocked, even if there was nothing but flies in the cupboard and nothing but half-empty condiment bottles in the fridge. Your friends loved it.

She flirted with the boys your age, she gave sex tips to the girls.

You smiled when they congratulated you on having the cool mom, and when they all went home, you retreated and pretended to be happy.

Joel settled her down. Met her in a bar and moved in quick. He came into the picture when you were fifteen and you were almost sure he’d be just like the rest of the lovers she’d taken over the years. You’d given the whole thing six months. Half a year for him to see what a fucking disaster she was. Six months to be a fucking creep, to cheat or get cheated on.

The only differences you could clock at first were that he was self-employed, and marginally better looking than his predecessors.

He was firmer though, less malleable than the others she’d brought around, he seemed immune to her charms and that only inflamed her. It made her desperate for his approval and his attention. She would throw a tantrum, or play one of her mind games but he’d never rise to her bait. He was patient for the most part, until he hit his breaking point and his temper reared its head. A temper only she seemed to bring out in him.

To you, it was pathetic.

He didn’t try with you though, there was no flattery or strong hand, only a silent respect. In a sense, he treated you as the adult, and her as the child. It worked for you, if he’d expected you to call him dad he would have been laughed at mercilessly and he seemed to know this.

The disturbing part was his respect and his healthy avoidance of you worked its own kind of magic. It made him an enigma, made you curious as to what he got out of the whole thing. A home, sure. A woman who was obsessed with him, yes. Sex–yes. You heard it enough for it to turn your stomach. By the sounds of it, he knew what he was doing.

The thought sickened the healthy part of your brain. The other part though, the part flooding your body with hormones, making it come to life with curiously intense sexual feelings, that part wanted to know what it was he was so good at. How could he pull those sounds out of anyone? It was easier to imagine him with some faceless woman.

It was shameful to imagine yourself.

The thought–although enough to fuel a desperate journey of self-exploration–always filled you with an insurmountable guilt.

For those first few years you could barely look at him. Your mother took it as a healthy dose of teenage rebellion. That only aggravated you more. She never asked questions, never dug to see what the cause of your obvious distaste for her partner was about and so again, you retreated. He, however, kept to the outs of your path. He followed your lead, he let you control any and every part of all of your interactions. He didn’t ask questions. He kept the lights on. He kept the fridge full.

He burrowed his way in, whether you liked it or not.

When you turned eighteen, you moved out. He helped, did his ‘fatherly’ duties and moved you into the apartment, he urged your mother to take you on an extensive grocery trip, spoke to your landlord about the safety of the building. You supposed you should have been grateful, you should have said thank you, given him some sort of acknowledgement that you appreciated his help but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Instead you said your mumbling goodbyes, and promptly closed the door on them. Neither of them complained.

The euphoria of venturing out on your own had lost its shine depressingly quick. A string of chronically unserious boyfriends came and went, the rent climbed higher than you could keep up with, and while already living paycheck to paycheck, you lost your job. Your cellphone had taken the brunt of your frustration at having to call your mother, begging her to let you come back home while you got back on your feet a little more than two years after you’d left.

Your teeth gnawed at your lips, your fingernails dug into the skin around your cuticles in the attempt to keep your voice sweet and pleading, in the end it was his voice that you’d heard in the background, telling–no, commanding her to say yes. That he would be your champion twisted at your insides. Maybe a small, healthy part of you hoped he’d put up a fight, tell you that you were too old to be coming back home and that you had to figure it out on your own like an adult.

A healthy part of you hoped that he’d save you again, only from yourself. Hanging up with a heavy, resigned sigh, you set about starting the trek home, ignoring the swirling mess of annoyance, confusion, and perverse glee in your stomach.

The first few days were spent in a depressive episode, a seemingly inescapable loop of sleeping in late, leaving your room only when the house was empty to raid the kitchen for something to eat, scrolling mindlessly–blindly–on your phone and then staying up way too late only to do it all over again.

They didn’t bother you, but if the annoyed sighs and narrowed eyes from your mother were anything to go by, the talk was coming soon. After the third day of the cycle, you circumvent it and wake up early-ish to shower and dress in something other than ratty old sweats long forgotten by an ex you couldn’t quite remember.

You came down to find Joel sitting at the kitchen table. His eyes tracked the lines of you, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

Your heart leapt. He should have been at work by now.

“Good morning.” It came out croaky, your voice almost reluctant to come out.

“Mornin’.” His hair was slicked back, the gray almost sparkling in the golden light. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. His eyes were so intense, you found yourself stuck in place, like a deer in headlights and that ever present, deep-seeded anger reared its head. It was irrational that he should frustrate you so much with his calm presence.

“Coffee’s fresh, if you want some.” He jut his chin out to the pot, lowering his eyes to his paper once more. Once his gaze had shifted, you found you could breathe again. You mumbled a thanks and moved to pour yourself a cup, thankful, if unsure why, to focus on something concrete instead of abstract self-reflection.

“Your mama’s gon’ be late tonight. I thought I could pick up a pizza on the way home.” He says it offhand and again, your heart races.

“Whatever.” You scrunch your face up in annoyance, it sounded like such a bullshit, teen response. He doesn’t comment on it, and that somehow makes it worse. You beat yourself about it as you root around in the fridge for the milk. The cereal you liked was in the top cupboard, and you’re not quite tall enough to reach it.

You heard his chair scoot back and then suddenly he’s there, beside you, pressed up tight. You follow the long line of his throat as he stares up, reaching the box with ease while one big, warm hand lands on your lower back. He smells like the laundry detergent your mother insists on buying mixed with something else. Manly, smoky, with coffee laced through. Your cunt clenches nonconsensually as he stands there and stares down at you, his whole front pressed against your side, his hand still holding your lower back. Your mouth hangs open, stupidly, and he raises an eyebrow again forcing something to kickstart deep in your gut.

“You okay there babygirl?” The endearment feels unwholesome.

It triggers something strange, strengthening the underlying conflict for him. There’s a lilt in his tone you don’t like, maybe because deep down you like it too much. Maybe you don’t want to admit that, or analyze anything about what the fuck is happening in your body. In your psyche.

“Yeah.” You step out of his bubble, barely managing not to trip over yourself in your haste to get away and put a healthy distance between you.

“Yes. Thank you.” You take a deep breath, pressing your lips together tight in what you hope to God is a neutral expression.

He lets out a bemused huff through his nose, a mischief in his eyes shining out at you that you’ve never seen directed at you. You’ve seen it used on your mom. You’ve seen her go giggly and flirty whenever he looked at her like that. A half-formed escape plan starts to form but he saves you from the need, he puts his things in the dishwasher, and nods his head in goodbye.

You practically hold your breath until you hear his truck rumble out of the driveway, and down the street.

You manage to avoid him for a few days, staying out late catching up with friends, or feigning a need for rest. You’ve convinced your mother that your days are now spent job hunting, and for the most part they are. You leave in the morning, avoiding any and all contact and you get home late, creeping up the stairs much like you did in your teens even though you’d really never needed to. Your mother never enforced a curfew, and when Joel joined the picture, he didn’t pry.

The luck didn’t last though, you got over-confident. He was sprawled out on the sofa, up uncharacteristically late one night when you padded through the house.

“You’re up late.” You quickly check the accusatory tone, “Don’t you have to get up early?” Better, it comes out more concerned than annoyed and he nods. He wore a threadbare t-shirt, the fabric of it having been through the wash too many times to keep its shape. Light, gray sweats were stretched almost obscenely tight over his spread thighs, pooling at his crotch from being shoved up by the couch.

“Couldn’t sleep. Come sit, we can watch some tv.” He pats the seat next to him and despite the deep desire to retreat into the Joel-free haven of your bedroom, you cannot seem to disobey him.

You settle beside him on the couch, a little further away than was necessary. He chuckles softly.

“I ain’t gonna bite you, girl. Not unless you ask nicely.”

You pretend you don’t hear it, choosing instead to compartmentalize whatever game he’s playing and stare at the screen. He flips through the channels, settling on one thing for a few minutes before moving to something else until he finds a movie that’s already close to midway. There’s an electricity in the air, something about him galvanizing the space between you, charging it enough to make the hairs on your arms stand on end. You frown to yourself, barely paying attention while fighting an increasingly confusing mental battle. Why is it so hard to be around him? Why does he inspire such scorn? Is it scorn at all?

You rub at your eyes, scrubbing your hands down your face in a feeble attempt to wipe the slate clean.

He’s just a man, a man your mother had chosen and for better or worse they seem to work. She is happy with him and he is seemingly happy with her, why then is it so hard to accept him for what he is? Something slithers around in your brain, something that laughs darkly, something pulsing through the network of thoughts and ideas that threatens to crack open your subconscious and throw it right in your face.

“Well now, ain’t that somethin’?” You pull your hands away from your face to see a very explicit scene playing out on the screen. Heat floods every inch of your body.

“Almost looks like she’s enjoyin’ herself.” He leaves it on, and you feel stuck, your body betraying you yet again to see the way the woman on screen moans wantonly while under a very handsome man. You let out a non-committal sound, teetering on the edge of madness. You scold yourself, you are an adult, an adult that has had sex before and this isn’t even real.

“Looks like fake bullshit to me.” The strength in your voice lends credence to the illusion that you aren’t affected. He laughs, calm and completely at ease and that only pulls the anger to the forefront again.

“They can’t show the real stuff on these channels. If it were real, he’d be doin’ what she needs.”

“And what’s that?” It comes out before you can stop it.

“Well,” He smiles to himself, winning a duel you hadn’t even known you were fighting.

“If it were real, he’d be pressin’ on her clit, he’d be makin’ sure she felt every inch of him and make her take his cock like a good girl.” You let out a heavy breath, half shocked, half grateful it wasn’t a whimper.

Warning bells go off in your head, just as a heartbeat starts in your cunt because you can see it. You can see him. His face twisted up in pleasure but cocky, his hips moving, his thumb dipped into your mouth and then swirling around your clit. He smiles at catching you looking at his hands and you want to yell at him. You want to smack him across the face and kick him in the balls for saying something like that to you, his partner's daughter, but you don’t.

Your body almost catapults you out of your seat. Barely unintelligible words come out, something about needing sleep, about being tired and then you hightailed it out of there like a bat out of hell.

The shower was cold enough to make your teeth chatter, but it did nothing to cool the heat blooming in your core and it was with a terrifying desperation that you ground against your fingers. The slick pooling at the mouth of your pussy was enough to feel even with the water washing everything away except your shame.

You bit your tongue to keep from moaning out the taboo and entirely inappropriate name you were dying to say out loud. His firm thighs spread on that couch filled your mind, the calloused, work-roughened hands you could practically feel on your hips, on your thighs. You could feel them holding and spreading your legs open so he could make you make those same noises you’d heard over the years. Make you take it like a good girl, his good girl.

You came with a shudder, sagging against the chilly tile. You warmed the water with a sigh, disappointed and ashamed with yourself, trying, and failing, to put the whole thing out of your mind.

You doubled down on avoiding him after that.

Your mother worked most of the time but when she was home, things were easier. He reverted to the healthy avoidance, the proverbial disinterest that she didn’t seem to have a problem with. You still heard them some nights, the bed creaking, throaty cries, deep grunts but now they haunted you in a different way. Now you heard his words on that couch and couldn’t help but picture all manner of unsavory things that both disgusted and thrilled you.

Being unemployed didn’t help. There was nothing to keep you out of the house most of the day, and there were only so many places that would accept you looking for a job in person.

There was only so much time you could spend with friends too, they had their own lives and jobs and relationships. Too busy to save you from unwanted free time.

Old habits resurface, and you retreat within yourself while pushing yourself harder. A job would fix things enough to help, you could save up enough money to leave for good and take yourself out of the equation.

The powers that be momentarily take pity on you, and after what seems like a lifetime's worth of job hunting you blessedly get a call back. It’s a part time job, but at this point beggars can’t exactly be choosers. It’s a steady, if insufficient source of income that hadn’t been available to you before. Determined, you buckle down, you channel every guidance counselor you’ve ever had and ace the fuck out of that interview.

It’s not taxing work, but you put your head down and focus with the hope that if you worked hard enough, if you made a good enough impression, made yourself indispensable they’d throw you enough shifts to make up a full time job.

It helps. Time spent away from the house, from your mothers dried up welcome, from Joel altogether genuinely helps. You feel a bit lighter, less guilty, less prone to imagine the unimaginable. You find comfort in the absence of self-imposed temptation. There is peace in the mindless work, in the life outside of the house that no longer feels like a home.

It's a double edged sword though, because at the end of every shift, the luck–the peace–runs out. If being at work and out of the house is a respite, returning home only thickens the tension. Time spent outside the house only sharpens the discomfort, clarifies the glaring wrongness of it all when you enter it at the end of the day. What it all is, you won’t name. That way madness lies. Issue is, with every interaction, with every chance encounter in the hallway, or living room, every second spent with him in the kitchen watching his lips touch the rim of his mug the thing inside grows. Parts of him fill the corners of your mind. The curve of his shoulders filling out the flannel shirts he favors. The fullness of his bottom lip when he purses them, something he does while squinting at the paper that you’re almost sure he isn’t aware of. His neck, his hands, the dimple in his cheek when he laughs at something really funny.

These things jump out, innocent as they may be, but other not so innocent things start to creep in. The bulge in his jeans is a mental mine, it lies in wait and every so often when you think you’ve avoided it, it detonates and you catch yourself staring, both ashamed and so inappropriately curious it eats away at you like acid.

What you needed was something to fill the emptiness, both emotionally and physically. So you did what any modern, adult woman would do; you bought a sex toy.

Nothing too crazy, or expensive. After perusing the site for a while you finally settled on a plain, non-threatening dildo. Nothing too big, nothing noisy, just something to be able to focus on, something to use while imagining someone giving you what you need. You ignored that dark thing inside that hissed his name, shooed it away and ordered the package for express delivery. With your mom constantly working, and Joel keeping to himself you figured it wouldn’t be an issue. Neither of them would question a package addressed to you.

You still aren’t sure whether or not you’d do it all over again had you known the Pandora’s box that little package would open.

You all but rushed home after work. All day, you’d imagined the relief that toy would bring. You imagined yourself using it in the shower, steam swirling as you took your pleasure. You imagined yourself laying in bed in the safety of the dark, setting a towel down on your chair and riding it to your heart's content.

Joel’s truck is in the driveway when you pull in, but it’s secondary to the excitement at the chance to sequester yourself with your new best friend and so when you walk into the house, you don’t give him much attention. Until he opens his mouth.

“You got a package today babygirl. I put it on your bed.” He sits on his spot on the sofa, a funny little smile on his face. A bad feeling swells in your chest, and you look up the stairs before meeting his eyes again.

“Thanks.” You drop your bag on the little bench near the front door, trying, and failing to keep the nervous feeling out of your voice. He nods, and you make your way up, stopping yourself from taking the stairs two at a time.

Ice flows through your veins when you see the package is open.

He’d opened your package, he knew what you’d bought.

Blood pounds in your ears as you stand there, limbs cold and numb at the realization that he saw it. He saw it. He opened it, and he placed it here, on the very place you fantasized about using it. Sweat beaded on your brow, the bottom of your stomach fell out of your ass as you stood there, barely feeling the soft, worn carpet under your feet.

“Little small, f’you ask me.” His voice at the mouth of your room made your head twist fast enough to hurt your neck. You hadn’t heard him follow you up the stairs, hadn’t heard him open your door and lean against the frame, arms crossed in haughty amusement.

“Why would you open my package?” You clutched at it, as though he could forget what he’d seen if you held it tightly enough.

“I didn’t open it on purpose, I’m expectin’ somethin’ and I didn’t read the name.” He pushes away from the door frame, making his way closer and it’s like the air thins as the space between you shrinks.

“I mean, I could tell you been frustrated, but this doesn’t seem like it’s gon’ help much.” He reaches out, and takes the package from you. You watch him do it, watch him, frozen as he plucks it from your hands and takes the toy out.

“This all you can take?” He holds it, contemptuously–pityingly.

You wanted to snatch it out of his hands, the dimming voice of reason urges you to push him out of your room and remind him that he needs to keep a healthy distance but you say nothing, you stand there, and watch him. He puts it all down on your dresser, before stepping a little closer, close enough for you to have to crane your neck up to look into his eyes.

“No boyfriends around to give you what you want?” His hand comes up, the tips of his fingers sliding across the apple of your cheek, slipping down until his thumb pressed against the cushion of your bottom lip.

“No one around to give you what you obviously need?” He steps a little closer, until your bodies meet. This is wrong, your mind screams it but your body is frozen under his eyes, under his touch. That part, the frozen part is cheering, it’s running victory laps as it floods your cunt with slick in preparation for something unholy.

That same, writhing, traitorous thing whispers that this is your chance, the house is empty and your body obeys. You look your fill, you take in the curve of his nose and the furrow in his brow. His eyes are black as a crow's wing, lust-blown and completely focused on your parted lips and your shallow panting.

Adrenaline spikes and you do something you cannot take back. You rise on your tip-toes and press your mouth to his.

He hums into it, smiling and once again you get that feeling that you’d made the exact move he’d expected you to. A vague, but fleeting inkling that you were just a pawn on his chessboard.

At any other time you would have stepped away and repented, ate yourself alive with guilt but his hands pulled you closer, his tongue swiped at the seam of your mouth and you opened up for him. That only made it all the more real, the taste of his tongue in your mouth, feeling his hands lower to hold onto your ass.

The rational part of you shrinks down to nothing, and that other part, the wrong part–it swells and preens under his hands. He pulls away, and embarrassingly, you chase his mouth in a daze.

“Oh honey, you’re just dyin’ for it aren’t you?” He herds you towards your tiny bed, the twin mattress that has been the stage for every taboo fantasy about this man, your stepfather. You shoo the word away with a shiver.

“It’s wrong-” You almost whisper, but you don’t push him away, you let him lay you down in that bed and he laughs.

“It is, isn't it?” He pulls at the hem of your shirt, you raise your arms for him and the picture of it is wrong, daddy taking off your clothes. The thought, the word, should disgust you but it only pulls your hands to him. You join in, and pull his shirt up and off, biting your lip at the broadness of him. You take in each freckle, the sprinkling of hair on his chest, the dip of his throat calling out for your tongue like a siren.

He presses his lips to yours again, licking into your mouth obscenely. Unseemly.

“You been wantin’ this for a long time, haven’t you babygirl?” He pulls your bra off, and the shock of cold air hardens your nipples. He bites his lip to see it, unable to stop himself from flattening his tongue against a hardened bud. A sound you’ve never let yourself make out loud in this room fills the space between you and that slithering thing luxuriates.

He moves, languidly, unhurried to the other breast and holds the plump of it in his big hand and sucks at the second bud, sucks as much of the peak as he can into his mouth, breathing through his nose while you slowly spiral into madness.

When he lets go, he presses a kiss to your nipple and his facial hair tickles your skin.

He pulls your leggings off along with your underwear in one go and the reality of it all hits you when the air hits your soaked core. That’s when the urge to put a stop to it is the clearest, when he kneels between your legs and spreads them wide, stares at the place where he’s already filled a million times in your mind. The place that’s drenched at the mere thought of him.

“Joel-” You start, but he pushes your legs up, folding you and then he lets a glob of spit fall from his mouth slowly, aiming it, a bullseye right on the lips of your cunt. It’s too much, too filthy and you let out a whimper.

“I think you wanna call me somethin’ else right now.” He undoes his belt and his jeans, keeping his eyes on where his saliva slides down over the open mouth of your cunt, down towards your asshole. He pulls his cock out and part of you shatters. Your eyes flit to the toy sitting on your dresser, your eyes flit to the open door of your bedroom.

“Don’t worry, your mama ain’t gonna be home for a while.” He smiles, conspiratorially. It's too real, it’s too hypnotic, seeing him there with his cock in his hand while your legs already ache from holding them up and open. He slides the blunt end of it through the mess he’s caused, through his spit and he groans at the sight of it.

Your heart races so hard to feel him there, that you see the pulse of it in your vision.

“Deep breath baby.” he warns before slipping inside the tight fist of your pussy, the size of him making you gasp. This is it, there’s no coming back from this and right now, with him seated deep, his groin pressed up tight and the tip of his cock kissing your womb you cannot even think of why you’d ever care.

This is where he's meant to be. This is where you need him.

“Oh baby, that’s so good huh?” He thrusts shallowly, pulling out a little more than halfway before shoving his hips forward again. You don’t really know how to form words, you don’t know how to take in what’s happening. This is Joel, your step-dad, fucking you in the bed you grew up in. One hand sits heavy on your shin, holding it, the other slides up and holds onto your breast.

“Look how fuckin’ wet this little pussy is for me,” he moans the words, “you like daddy fuckin’ you?” He thrusts harder and you moan despite the word hitting you in the stomach like a big drop on a rollercoaster. He shouldn’t say that, shouldn’t call himself that, not now.

“No-” it doesn’t come out like you mean it to, it sounds wrong, like a caress.

“No? But I think you do-” He leans forward, keeping his pace while pressing his chest to yours, his mouth all but lining up and despite your bullshit protest, you hitch your knees high on his ribs to make room because if he stopped you’d probably die.

“I think you want me to be your daddy, don’t you baby, it’s okay, I want to be.” He speeds up and the sounds between your legs are so wet, so filthy.

“You can say it, I want you to say it.” He holds himself up, his elbows caging in your skull and before you can complain or moan or cry he sticks his tongue down your throat again. Your hands finally join the fray and you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him tight to you.

“Come on baby, say it for me, tell me how good daddy fucks you.” You moan, closing your eyes while your cunt floods him with wave after wave of slick, enough to drip down your ass and onto your bed, down his balls. Enough for it to soak the curls at the base of him.

“Look at me when I’m fuckin’ you honey.” His hips speed up and it's hard now, his thrusts making your bounce, hitting a part of you that toy would never touch in a million years.

You open your eyes, and look at him above you, sweat beading on his hairline. Never has he looked more fucking appealing than he does right then. The word is there, in your mouth and you know it’ll taste sweeter than anything in this world.

The wrong thing wins.

“Yes daddy.” You moan it, and the shameful thing sets off fireworks in your being, he smiles, and tucks his head into the damp crook of your neck, feeding his lovely filth right into your ear.

“That’s my babygirl, that’s it, fuck baby you take it better than your mama.” Something inside recoils at that, but something else, another facet of that fucked up thing inside rejoices.

“Let me hear you say it again, say it when you come.” He licks a hot stripe up your neck. His words are a filthy groan, something to tuck away for later.

He reaches down, pressing his thumb to your clit just like he said on that couch and you keen, the slip and the pressure enough to toss you over the edge with an almost painfully intense orgasm.

“I’m coming, daddy.” It’s a shuddering whisper as your cunt clenches around him.

He moves quickly, kneeling between your legs to pull out and then he’s stroking himself over your cunt. It’s still pulsing when he paints it in his come. You catch your breath as he tugs at himself a few more times, milking himself against you with a disturbingly familiar groan.

The fog clears altogether too quickly. The lights are too bright, you’re naked, and he’s still got his jeans around his thighs while the guilt creeps into your veins, replacing the euphoria.

What have I done? What have you made me do?

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel x you #joel x y/n #pedro pascal #tw stepdad #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #unseemly #tlou #tlou fanfiction

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vamptarot · 12 days

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What Will They Like About Your Body | PAC 18+

pile one pile two pile three

how to choose a pile . . . choose whichever you feel drawn to or ask your guides to guide your eyes to the one that is meant for you! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ this is for diversity reasons, if you don’t want to, don’t read it, if you want to, go for it. this will be covering what they like about your body and what they fantasise of it. ‘they’ meaning your special person. not proof read.

𝝑𝝔 If you are under 18 years old don’t read this. This is made for consenting adults. If you think you are grown enough, no you are not.

pile one : - high heels !

𐙚 : five of cups, page of pentacles, five of swords, three of swords, two of cups reversed

bottom of the deck: six of swords

♡ ⢷what will they like about your body

Every single little thing, there is nothing that they don’t like about you. Which can, yes, be annoying to hear, because this isn’t what you were curious of, but these feelings are sincere. They come from the bottom of the heart.

Your special person looks at you as the star, as this very perfect person, the most beautiful of all. They find your looks dreamy and even the tiniest of folds and details are beautiful about them. The beauty of ancient statues, if you struggle understanding the concept of it.

It’s the feeling of “this is actually a real body with a lot of things to tell, not just one that was worked for years to hide things about it.”

Some of you might take an offence to that, thinking “but that means my body is just ugly!”.. I am here to say that’s not true, you are just delusional. Real bodies don’t look like the ones on the internet that are photoshopped to the max - yes, even in videos -, they just look real. With spots, blemishes, veins, details, stretch marks, beauty spots and a thousand other things. Your body is very much real, which makes you soooo sexy in your person’s eyes. All the little things about it.

Matter of fact, your special person LOOOOVES your stomach so much, like omg. They might like to hold it, or just rest their body on it while cuddling you or literally sleeping with you while spooning. You might think to yourself, ‘oh, but my stomach isn’t flat’, duh, that’s the sexy bit about it. - Even if your stomach is flat that is okay bby, that bit was meant for somebody else. -

Think about it, no statue of Aphrodite has a flat stomach.

Aside from that, your chest is so loved. Idgaf if you are a woman, man, flat chested or not this mf - whoever they might be - wants to suck on it, and if they are given the chance they will show that too! 🫵🏻 Seriously, if you are asking about a guy, - or a masculine girl -, they wanna just put their face right to your chest and get to work. If you have a bigger chest, just rub their face their, and if it’s flat then tease you so you make noises for them. - Whines, to be specific. - If you have birth mark or any sort of mark on your chest, they also want to kiss it there, they love it.

It’s not that their energy is objectifying, they are just crazy about you. Like your body gets them all to be like those old cartoons where the guy gets heart eyes and they almost fall out as they stare at the pretty lady that just walked by.. tongue out and all. - Think of Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes or Tom from Tom & Jerry when they meet a pretty girl and you might understand better like that. -

Now, speaking about tongues. They think that your private part has such a pretty shade to it. - Or like.. would, if they saw it. - This obviously varies person to person but the main things that are coming through are pinkish & light brown? Like it’s just a nice shade of brown. - yes, even if you are a person of colour.. this will be unique to everybody, but the point is the same. - Also the texture if your skin could also be something they like? Because that’s unique from person to person as well! So they will definitely love what they will be able to feel, you know. Tongues come here because as soon as they saw you wet/hard combined with those factors they just wanna give you head. Like they are needy for you!

They also, really, really like your ass a lot. Slapping it, grabbing it during the act itself.. whatever you let them do, they will do it. You might as well catch them staring from time to time too. - This is regardless of gender, if you are a guy asking about a girl this still applies… or a girl asking about a girl.. whatever you are into guys. Your ass is just a 10/10 for them. -

♡ ⢷their fantasies about your body

You might have had some experiences in the past that made you very insecure. In your body, and how people perceive you. I will not be going too much into it because the severity of this depends from reader to reader. It rages from comments - irl & online -, to bullying, all the way down to abuse. That is your business and I am not going to dive into it.

However, their fantasies revolve around helping you escape feeling stuck from these feelings and emotions that are awakened in you when it comes to sexuality. They understand that it’s from things that you have went through in life but they still wish to help you overcome these negative emotions by loving you right, treating you right and giving you the whole world, their all.

Even then, you might be the sort of person who wants to do it with the lights off or distracted your partner before things get too far because you are genuinely scared of intimacy and the level of tension such a deep bond comes with. In your head it could be nothing but all sort of negative things, barely anything good coming out of it. At times, you might even feel ashamed. It doesn’t have to be this way. This is what they want to show you by treating you correctly.

You escaping this turmoil of ‘it’s wrong, but I want to like it’s and the pain that comes along with it is what their biggest fantasy is. They hate to see you suffer through things even if you hate that they care at times. Nothing in this world will make them stop caring about you, at all, even if you believe otherwise. Their love isn’t fragile, rather opposite, it’s quite strong.

They dream of loving you tenderly, holding you, going slow and kissing your tears away as they hold your hand.

They dream of taking care of you, treating you with the utmost respect. Never ever would they do anything to purposefully scare you or make you uncomfortable.

♡ ⢷moodboard

— ✮⋆˙ ‘my type’ , billie eilish , ‘and i see her, at the back of my mind’ , pink & flowers ? , demisexual , waiting til marriage , not a huge fan of kinky stuff but rather just wanna make love , (door) bells , bookshop , sage green , piercings , something for beauty being done to the eyes - contacts, lashes, eyeshadow ect - , stiletto nails , shibuya

My pile one do not forget that you are beautiful and nothing in this world will change this fact! your person is so sweet, their energy is very gently even though you might not think so. they would neverrr do anything without your permission. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile two : - font !

𐙚 : six of swords, queen of pentacles reversed, seven of pentacles reversed, nine of cups, wheel of fortune reversed, the devil reversed, the lovers reversed

bottom of the deck: the emperor

♡ ⢷what will they like about your body

I would like to start out with saying that this is a toxic pile, at the very least sexually mean. There is no feeling of being in love or having strong emotional connection/needs here, so even if you have a crush they might feel a sexual attraction towards you but not romantic one.. or they possibly view sexual attraction and romance as two different things and don’t think of the other while doing one of them. - meaning even if they have a crush, they won’t be romantic during sex. - I will still channel for this pile but this has been your warning and disclaimer. If you are not comfortable reading about something like that, do not. It’s alright to not read this.

Now, if you decided to continue reading I will need you to stay with me on this one, this person is a whole mess.

I also want to say that if you have a bdsm kink this person does too, and if you don’t they do not either but are simply sadistic/masochistic or just had heavy uncomfortable experiences in the past that altered their preferences, fantasies and such. Such a rare but specific distinction but everybody’s guides urged me to say this.

To actually get into it, they like your chest, the shape of your body and your private eras. The shape of it, the size of it and everything that is unique about it. Not even a little bit, but a lot. They want to tie you up, not necessarily do anything but stare at you while admiring you. They want to tie you up in such a specific way too, in a way your legs and arms are spread out so they can see everything.

This inactivity is on purpose, either to piss you off or make you scared. Your face is so hot to them. Like your expressions for sure get them hard/wet, but like.. your face in general, they love it.

I will list what they like about it as well. Let’s start with your eyes.. pretty eyelashes, colours, gaze and so on.. but that’s absolutely not what turns them on at all. It’s the fact that they are a little bit messed up. There is so many eye conditions in this world, but this is specific for those people who have a bit harder time seeing. If you squint your eyes while trying to read something? Sexy as fact. You walk into something by accident? Sexy as fuck. I am sure the Lord does, but I don’t understand why they feel this way. There is a reason, they are just not sharing it with me. Also, even if that’s not your eye condition.. don’t think you are an exception, that ‘it might not be for you’. It does, you are so cute it turns them on. Especially when you look up at them. They are horny for you. If you have eyebags that just adds to it even more. - I also don’t mean to be belittling, I, myself, wear glasses. Your person is just a little crazy, I am so sorry I don’t know how to say that in a more kind manner. -

Moving on, your nose. There is something unique about it. A beauty spot, a birth mark, the shape of it.. you know your face better than I do, whatever you know is unique is about it they love it. Even if you think they don’t. - that’s especially for the bigger nose ppl! don’t belittle your beauty. -

Your lip shape, they think it’s so kissable. I am so serious, they look at it as ‘so plump’ and they ‘want to devour it’. - don’t clock it, these aren’t my words. - Now, if you are a girl you decide if this means your face or other lips. 🩷 It’s both.

And we are not done yet, nu uh. 🙂‍↕️☝🏻 Your teeth, your beauty spots, your eye colour in the sun, your resting face, your expression when you are annoyed, your red eyes ‘n nose ‘n cheeks after you cried.. is there anything they don’t like about your face? No. If you let them they will cum on it too.

Your thighs are something they loveeeee too. I for real hope that you are into bites and hickeys because this person wants to leave their mark on you. Whether or not this is only for them to see or if it’s visible to anyone… they don’t gaf, they just want to know that their mark is there, on you. No one else’s, just theirs. Jealous, jealous person. Hella possessive too. ‘Only mine’ sort of thing.

They also like your stomach, especially if it’s more toned. Like don’t get them wrong, they don’t care if your stomach changes. Matter of fact they want to impregnate you. - Not that they are ready for a baby, they are just kinky as hell. -

♡ ⢷their fantasies about your body

This is another warning and disclaimer. If you find heavier, darker fantasies and topics uncomfortable don’t read this. This is especially true if you have had negative sexual experiences or if you have traumas that are easily triggered. I am not playing with you. You might hate this.

Menace to society. Like these are only fantasies, and they won’t really act out on each and every single one but when channeling the energy I got a bit perplexed.

First and foremost, they want you to submit to them, completely. No ifs, no buts, no nothing. Just submitting to them. Let’s go through their fantasies one by one..

I believe this is the most simple and common one. This isn’t necessarily something harmful but it does depend on your view of life and the value you put into such things. It’s completely ok to disagree with me on this one. - Notice how I am saying ‘least harmful’ and not ‘not harmful at all’. -

Their most harmless fantasy is you getting over someone, possibly out of a relationship, moving on and still sad with the what happened as you were mistreated. They want to ‘heal’ you with sexual connections. Now, what exactly this is varies person to person. For some of you this is making love, for others it’s having sex and for other people it’s straight up f#cking and messing around. - Crazy to write it out like that, but these are all different things. - They just wanna be ‘the one to heal you.’ Whatever that may mean to them.

For this next one, some of you reading this might like the idea of this fantasy because you won’t fully grasp the idea of it due to being inexperienced but that’s alright, I will do my best to explain to you.

This fantasy revolves around spoiling you, giving you everything you want and pampering you any chance he gets. With attention, words, gifts, necessities, physical touch and in sexual needs. Anything you can think of. The twist in this fantasy is you not being able to do any of this by yourself because no matter how hard you would try you would simply just fail. I am not saying that’s the truth, I am saying that’s their fantasy. Pampering you because you need to completely rely on them, having no other choice. Being obsessed even though you are in an unfortunate situation or might even desire freedom sometimes. It’s like this hopelessness that you have alone, almost as if you need them to be fulfilled in life. That no one else can give this to you, not even yourself.

I don’t think they have a slave kink, but it borders it. This is because they sometimes fantasies about you doing xyz in exchange for these things, like housework and so on.. but in a sinister way, not in a ‘my lovely stay at home wife/husband/partner’ kinda way. Not a ‘sugar daddy/mommy’ kind of way either. Imma be honest and just say I did not see enough things in my life to understand what exactly is going on, but I know for sure that they love power dynamics and want to be the one that’s on top. Figuratively and literally too.

For this one, if you ignored my first warning but you still read and happen to have trauma about physical abuse or domestic violence don’t read what I am about to channel next. Literally don’t. Ignorance is bliss.

We have entered level 10000000x of f*cked up. Their most messed up fantasy is them abusing you, to the point of you having bruises and feeling emotionally defeated. That’s not what turns them on. It’s the fantasy of regardless of this you keep on loving them. Going back for more and unable to leave them, and even letting them do whatever they want to your body. Though, in all these fantasies they do fantasies about having to chase you a little bit. So you not giving yourself easy and valuing yourself but still ending up under them is the main drive they have for this fantasy.

The craziest thing though, this mf seems pure, kind and very respectful. The perfect person to bring home. Well put together, clean, has a lot to offer and treats your family well. You would never think that these sort of things cross their mind. Yet they do.

I am willing to bet a whole tarot deck that many people reading this pile until here didn’t believe a single word of what I wrote down exactly because they appear so perfect and kind.

♡ ⢷ moodboard

— ✮⋆˙ wild thoughts - rihanna , red ropes & red string of fate (symbolism of differences) , virgo , someone is hungry rn , anger issues , ‘breaking dishes all night’ , tiktok edits , hallway crush , tiger/tigress , ‘Tom’ , tom foolery - lmao - , grey , silver jewellry , dreads , nonchalant but very kind , red fruits ? strawberries, watermelon, raspberries, passion fruit and aso on , cracking backs , spa asmr

Idk y’all this man/person is the devil. 😞 you are into what you are into, but do not stay near people who make you feel unsafe. thank you for reading

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile three : - ballet shoes !

𐙚 : the chariot reversed, queen of swords reversed, the star, eight of cups reversed, four of wands, page of swords

bottom of the deck: knight of swords

♡ ⢷what will they like about your body

Let’s start with saying that you might think this person is cold or not interested in you but it’s the total opposite.

They want you so bad, and they try to not show it because they are ashamed of how bad they want you. Not because there is anything wrong with you but because they are so good at self discipline, not being influenced by anything too easily and just being a honest and just person. Yet, when it comes to you they cannot help but have these animalistic tendencies, they want to go nuts and have such rough sexual relations with you all while treating you like their Queen/King, pampering you with love and affection.

They don’t want to only make love to you, they want to worship you with every single second that passes. You have a hold on them that no body else have had before and they try to not make themselves look crazy in your eyes but they just want to kiss every inch and corner of your body. Even the ground you walk on. You are so perfect to them and they feel like they need to hide so that you don’t push them away. So you won’t think of them as a creep.

They love you as a whole, if you were to ask them what they find unattractive about you they would not have an answer. There is not a single thing that they deem as a flaw about you at all. They would be offended if you even dared to think that there is. In a sincere way too.

Like you could even believe, even for a slight second that there is anything that they don’t like about you? They would never deem anything about your appearance as a flaw.

And that is true! But they still have subconscious favourites I picked up on lmao,, Which is completely normal!

It’s your feet, your tummy, your fingers - might wanna suck on it idkkkk -, your overall figure, your veins, your waist, the outline of your private parts through clothes, the way that you carry yourself and if you have blue eyes then that.

Though, their favourite thing is none of those. It’s the tension in your body when you are turned on and you think you can hide it well but it still shows through your actions. How you move your legs and the way you rub your legs together, the shy look on your eyes all while you are nervous about people being able to tell how needy you are. It turns them on so bad they could single handedly recreate the Niagara fallls all by themselves, if you get what I mean.

Perhaps they would also enjoy how your own cum looks on your thighs after sex, after coming so much and not being able to control yourself. - I am sorry for the lack of better words. -

♡ ⢷their fantasies about your body

Honestly, they just have a worshipping kink when it comes to you.

They want to suck on your body. Your toes, your private parts - on your clit if you are a woman -, your thighs, your stomach - they wanna leave hickeys -, your hips, your waist, your chest, your collarbones, your arms, your shoulders, your lips.. they want it all.

Even if they aren’t into it, they want to do it just to please you. It turns them on because it’s you. They find you crazy hot, like they would go to the ends of the world and back for you.

Not a sub for sure, they rather read like a soft dom that’s very passionate, obsessed and in love with you. They can be a sub for the night if you want them to be though. Put a leash on them and they will go on all fours for you.

And if you don’t like that, that’s cool. They can slap you, pull your hair and go hard if that’s what you need them to do.

If you like regular sex only, that’s chill with them too.

For you, they are both a prince charming and a freak, just depends on what you need of them. They want to cater to your needs all while dominating you. Adoring everything about you.

The only thing they ask for in exchange is for you to be loyal and committed to them, because they sure are to you. Not a single other person on their mind at all. Fuck threesomes and anything else that involves bringing someone else other than the two of you in the bedroom, they only want you.

They could go crazy if you give attention to any other person too. Jealous person, adores devotion above anything else for sure. They are not afraid to leave you if you play games with them. Doesn’t even have to be cheating, but teasing. They love you but they don’t like things like that. They are grown. - Not my words bby, their higher self’s. -

Regardless, they don’t fantasise about you leaving them but rather overthink and worry they you might do so if you find someone else that better fits you. Someone you look at as beautiful, good and all the more compatible with you. This is their worry. - Probably bc of their past but most of you it’s just because they love you so much you are their weakness. -

Their fantasies revolve around pleasing you. Giving you their all. Trying out thousands upon thousands of things with only one another, just the two of you.

♡ ⢷ moodboard

— ✮⋆˙ ‘just the two of us, we can make if if we try’ , ‘i am vanilla baby, I will choke you but I am no killer baby’ , whipped cream , someone here has a mommy kink , curved eyelashes , clown masks , cherry red lipstick , tooth gems , blue whips , shy virgin who didn’t resonate with the kinky bits 🫵🏻 , painted toes! , coffin nails , 18

believe that you deserve good things instead of trying to convince yourself that I am lying to you. that one is very specific for one person not everyone <3<3 mwah my beautiful pile 3 you are so loved by this person I wish nothing but happiness for y’all! thank you for reading

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

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