#adoring LS!Sam

[according2thelore]

I’ve been devouring your ES/LS verse tags, and you know what i can’t stop thinking about? How purely ESdean loved ESsam. Like. My baby bother can do nothing wrong. You killed that guy? Guy must’ve done soemthing it’s ok. And how that was absolutley ripped away from Sam by season 4, and he never actually got it back. Not from his POV. In Sam’s mind I’m pretty sure he knows Dean loves him- but it’s part obligation, part history and pattern, and part *in spite of* all the shit. Not the same kind of absolute devotion he grew up with until Dean died (of course it is, but not to Sam). It can’t be. Not after he didn’t save Dean from hell, the demon blood, the voicemail, Lucifer, the amulet, soulless Sam, purgatory, etc etc.

And now. Now. He’s gone esDean right THERE. A Dean that still loves his Sammy the way lsSam thinks he’s lost forever. And lsSam didn’t even know how much it hurt to lose that until he’s looking at it. Like he’s been bleeeding out for decade about it and n it even really noticing. A brother who loves him- absolutley- is back. Is right there. Is looking at him the way he used to. Before Sam ruined everything.

Holy shit how bad does that fuck up lsSam. I don’t see how he wouldn’t become obsessed with esDean. And I mean obsessed. Wanted to be around him all the time. Just soaking up what he thinks he doesn’t have anymore and can only have fire little while as a reprieve. I cannot emphasize the obsession.

To the point where lsDean notices. Like. Really notices. Because he never actually stopped being devoted to his brother, and Dean? He’s never experienced Sam being obsessed with someone else. Not ever. He thought he had- Stanford or ruby- but that wasn’t the same. That wasn’t this. That wasn’t Sammy staring at someone with all the love he has for Dean and soemhow even more stars in his eyes. It has to drive lsDean insane. Insane insane. He grew up to be a mean sob, and this is pushing every Sam button.

I caaaaaaant. An insanely depressed and fucked up laSam being based with the younger Dean, while lsdean froths at the Mouth.

Chefs kiss.

GAHH!!!!!! this is beautiful!!!! everyone stop what you're doing and read this!!!!!! i love the way you phrased this @bickbickbarnes, and i am frothing at the mouth reading it over and over again!!!!

i wrote just a little thing about this--i hope that's alright!! your (totally on point) description of their dynamic really captured why i love LS!Sam/ES!Dean sm!!

AN: i fucking lied this thing is 1.3k words...i hope you like, lol!

-lizzy

"woah!" dean shouts, and sam jumps a little. he whirls around, and younger dean is running up to him, eyes wide. his arms are thrown open, machete dangling casually from his grip. he punches sam in the arm when he finally catches up to him. the smile on his face is blinding. "sammy what was that, man?"

sam drops his own machete to the side. he's still heaving for breath, having just decapitated a vampire that ran at him. older dean and sam are standing off to the side, and sammy notices his younger self gawking at older dean with something...heavy, something hot, in his eyes as dean hauls one decapitated body over his shoulder to start the pyre.

"what?" sam asks, looking back down at young dean. he looks down at the body and nudges it a little. did dean think he didn't cut all the way through the neck? the body jiggles.

"that was so fucking cool." dean crows, and sam turns back around to look at him, taken aback. dean is grinning so wide that it closes his eyes. he shakes sam's shoulder. "grandpa!" dean calls, and older dean looks over with a scowl. "that's how you do it."

"oh." sam's chest feels tight, and he feels hot creep across his cheeks, up his neck. "thanks."

dean is still patting him on the back, and sam hasn't been praised like this for taking out a vampire since they first found out they still existed. sam jostles under dean's arm.

"'thanks'--" dean repeats, scoffing, and raises an eyebrow at younger sam, who's scowling. "humble, too."

"whatever." sam spits, and stalks off. sammy doesn't take dean's arm off of him, expecting him to move it, but he doesn't. not for a minute.

~~~

"i knew you could do it!" dean snatches the book out of sammy's hands, and sam's chest feels weird--tight--as dean beams down at the page. they'd been researching werewolves all afternoon, and sam finally found a passage in urdu that mentions the strange scales they've been finding at the murder sites. dean squints at the words like he can read it at all, and nods. "my geeky little brother never loses."

dean states, dismissive, a sarcastic grin on his face like he's mocking him.

"uh--" sam starts, trying to find the footing in this conversation. the praise is casual--purposefully degrading--but it's praise. older dean hasn't blinked at sam finding a clue--in any language--for...god, years probably. they've just gotten that good.

dean peeks a look up at him, and sam is stopped by the strange look in his eyes.

"tried to strangle the inner nerd with those things--" dean gestures at sammy's arms with a casual hand and a raised eyebrow. "--but you couldn't." dean looks up, and his smile is quiet and softer. his tone is admiring. "man."

dean shakes his head and looks back down at his own book--written in english--with a bottom lip cushioned around a pencil.

sam folds his arms, conscious of them again. that's been one of the biggest sticking points for younger dean: sam's size. strangely, sam suddenly wishes he was smaller. small enough that dean--this dean--could do...something. sam can't put his finger on it.

it had been a long time since being with dean felt like this, since the tension was full and heavy and warm. it feels like long drives and quiet silences and shitty whisky passed back and forth under the table.

sam's breath catches when he realizes...it feels like home.

being with dean always feels like home, but this feels like sitting back down in the childhood bedroom that sam never had and letting the mom he never knew pet through his hair and tell him it was always going to be okay.

the world is so strange and terrifying and smaller than sam had any right to know, but dean--this dean--nudges his foot under the table without thinking about it.

he loves him in the way that children love things--without equivocation, without years of betrayal and revenge and torture and nightmares.

it's dean.

sam nudges his foot back, and greedily drinks in the pinkness on the top of dean's ears.

~~~

older dean wipes blood off of his jaw, and sammy helps younger sam off of the floor. the kid is fine, but younger dean immediately takes the burden of him, sliding under his arm like he's always been there.

sammy notes that older dean's eyes track the kid, too, and sammy rolls his eyes. he's fine.

the cave they're in is dark, and sam can feel the damp like a cool sweat on his skin.

dean clears his throat, "okay we need to split up, i say--"

"i'll take dean," everyone--including sammy--is surprised, when he speaks up first.

sam shifts his arm over dean's shoulder, and pushes sweaty bangs off of his forehead.

"don't you think we should split experience levels--" he starts, but sammy cuts him off with a finger.

a finger pointing at the man under his arm.

"i meant dean," sammy says, and sam straightens, shocked out of the performance of needing dean to stand.

"yeah," younger dean says, straightening too. his eyes are bright, and his smile is so satisfied that sammy finds himself smirking, too. "he meant dean," dean says, glaring at older dean. sammy pats him on the shoulder, hard, and dean obediently follows after him as they split up.

"don't worry, i'll protect you." dean says, after a while, young voice echoing over the cavern walls and reverberating in sam's skull. sam wishes his internal voice sounded like this, instead of...sam shakes his head to clear the thoughts.

he looks down at dean, whose chest is puffed up. it's all play-acting, and they both know it. dean looks up at him, and gives him a slow once over that makes sammy have to swallow, hard. "don't think i could human shield you, but...i'll do my best." dean smirks.

sam punches him in the shoulder, and then has to kneel on the ground as the hit takes dean to the floor, apologizing profusely.

~~~

"shit, man," dean hisses, and squats down so he can press a rag to sam's head. sam freezes, shocked by how close he is.

sam is forty. this kid is twenty-seven, but he pats at sam's cut and coos sympathetically like he's tending to a child. sam knows his head wound must gush again, because all the blood in his body rushes to his face.

sam had been cut by a piece of glass but it was shallow, and the slice had been clean.

"that was nasty. are you okay?" dean asks. sam stares at him.

dean's eyes are green, and his freckles stick out on his skin. fuck, he's gorgeous. he's so fucking gorgeous.

his lips are plump and pink, and his eyes are soft and round. it's disney princess shit. sam blinks up at him, and feels like he's fourteen again, and this boy could fix every single thing that's wrong.

his mouth is dry.

"who was the centerfold model in the '89 playboy i kept in my bag?" dean asks.

"reneé tenison" sam mutters automatically, dazed, and dean's face splits in a shit eating grin.

"i always knew you read it after me." dean crows. but he still pats sam's cut like he's porcelain. "dirty bastard."

sam nods. fuck. he'll be anything.

"let me help you up." dean sits back on his heels, and sam obediently raises his arms, palms up. he's being babied. he's being babied.

~~~

"dean--" sam leans back, book open in his lap, and older dean looks up. his gaze softens when he catches sam's eye, having been glaring and muttering down at his record player for the last hour and a half. he's gutted it on the table, and is fiddling with wires because he's not going to pay some some man-bun yuppie $700 to tell me what i already know.

"yeah?" he asks, clearly relieved for the reprieve.

sam winces.

"no, sorry, dean--" he points at younger dean, slumped over the couch in the library, flipping through the hunger games with a rapt expression.

he snaps to attention, dropping the book on the floor and denting the cover. "oh! yeah?"

sam holds up the book in his lap--a catalogue of the weapons storage room.

"i found it." he grins.

dean scrambles off of the couch, almost sliding up to sam like someone slides into home plate.

"DUDE!" he snatches the book out of sam's hands and reads it rapidly. he looks down at sam, beaming. "your brain scares me." he gives sam the book back, and tries not to look interested as he asks, slowly. "do you think we could--"

sam looks down at the open page. the kitsune death sword. it was said it could peel the skin off of people that looked at the gem on the hilt.

dean's excitement is contagious, though, and sam can feel his own grin spreading. he looks back up at him.

"it's on the fourth floor."

dean is already running out of the room, and sam scrambles up to follow him, the distant "fuck yeah!" of dean making sam sputter with laughter.

he doesn't notice the expression on older dean's face when he leaves.

~~~

"GAH!" dean almost drops the ladle into the pot of mystery soup on the stove. sam leans in the doorway of the kitchen, having been observing his quiet puttering for a few minutes. "jesus. sorry. you're big. i mean--" dean holds out his hands, dropping soup on the floor due to the ladle still clenched in his fist. "you're here. WHICH IS GREAT. sorry, you're big."

his cheeks are bright red, and sammy tries to arrange his facial features into sobriety.

"yeah, i am." sam says, somber. "big and great."

dean sucks on his teeth, pink up to his ears, and leans back over his soup, muttering.

"brat." he admonishes, and sam snorts. he walks the few steps into the kitchen to lean against the counter next to him.

"what're you doing?" he asks. the soup smells okay, but sam can see cut hot dogs swirling in it. his stomach churns.

'i found a recipe book from the 40s and they have something called a 'triple meat sundae.'" dean says, holding up the card for sam's perusal. sam takes it from him, and reads the truly terrifying recipe list.

"that is...horrific." sam replies. marshmallow creme and barbeque sauce??

"figures you're still a snob." dean rolls his eyes.

"a snob with functional arteries." sam reminds him, putting the recipe card back by his elbow.

dean is silent for a long second, looking at him with warm eyes.

"bitch." dean says, tentative. hopeful. it almost sounds like a question. fuck. sam hasn't heard that in a while. in a long time. not since dean wore that necklace everyday like it was the best thing to ever happen to him.

sammy's eyes fall to it now, the mark of ownership clear to him in a way it had never been before.

"yeah." sam says, chest full of loveyesmine. dean's face falls, slightly, and he's quick to correct. "oh--sorry--jerk."

dean nods, hiding his grin behind the ladle of his radioactive soup.

~~~

"you didn't come to bed last night."

sam sits up, and sees dean--older dean, sammy's dean--looking down at him. there's a cup of coffee in his hand, and he puts it down next to sam's elbow. sam takes it gratefully.

he's been sitting at the war table all morning, and realizes his shoulders ache.

"hm?" he takes a sip of his coffee, and tries to un-kink his spine. dean is wearing just a henley today, and sammy admires the way it pulls across his chest as he crosses his arms.

"you didn't come to bed." dean says again. it takes sam's brain a second to process it.

he had been sneaking into dean's room--their room, really--for the past week, as sleeping alone had become irritating and exhausting. his own room had become dusty and felt barren in dean's absence.

they'd been trying to sleep separately for the sake of their younger selves, but agreed that what they didn't know didn't hurt them, as long as they didn't do it every night.

"oh. yeah. sorry--dean wanted to watch the sopranos finale. we couldn't find you or sam so we watched it in the dean cave." sam snorts, remembering the look on his face. "you should've seen him, he--"

"i know." dean cuts him off abruptly. "we watched that finale together in 2008. remember?"

sam looks at him again, brought up short. dean looks...

"oh. yeah. sorry." sam mutters, leaning into dean's leg because the sudden emotional distance has him on uneven ground.

"sam and i were in the archives. like you asked us to." dean says, lowly, and it has a bit of rasp from clenched teeth. sam sits up straight. oh fuck. he had asked them to find the file on that norse battle axe, hadn't he?

"oh, shit." he puts the mug down, and wraps a hand around the back of dean's knee. he rubs a hand over his own face. "sorry, it's been...a lot."

there's a hand in sam's hair, and sam leans into it shamelessly, relieved that he's been forgiven for this, at least.

"yeah." dean says, but his voice is still tense. "i know."

~~~

the door is closed. and both sams are in the library. so no one is there to see it. or hear it.

but if someone was walking past the door to storage room 14C, this is what they'd hear:

"--back off." the voice is tense. low.

"back off? you sound like the old man." a scoff.

"i'm only telling you once. we can't fix this shit yet, but you gotta stop hanging around him all the damn time. he's not your sam."

"why? you feelin' threatened?" a taunt. "your dick not workin in your old age? sammy want--"

a slam. a crash. something gets pushed to the floor, and things scatter across tile.

"i'm telling you. to back. the fuck. off."

"you can't hurt me." the words are choked.

"i can't kill you. there's a difference." rubber soles on a concrete wall, like someone is kicking at it. fabric rustling as a body is pushed up a wall. "it's a biiigggg line. huge." the voice is a growl, but the threat of violence is gleeful. excited.

something drops to the ground. heavier this time, and someone gasps for breath. footsteps walk to the door and almost exit, when--

"i can tell you i'll stay away all i want. can't stop him from coming to me."

~~~

older sam takes great care to ice younger dean's knee that night, and coos over his black eye. younger dean won't tell him what happened, but leans out of sammy's gentle touch when older dean walks by and asks what happened.

older dean fucks sammy through the mattress that night, so deep sam feels like he's going to choke on it. and sam wears the bruises for days.

he loves it.

[pouchpocalypse]

My unessecary long thread of fictional ships:

Eren and Armin.

I know this is isn’t canon and that they’re relationship is purely platonic, but a part of me sees Armin and thinks wow, that’s kinda fruity.

Levi and Hanji.

Now. Hear me out. Low energy x a lot of energy. Constant talker x constant listener. They work as a team. It’s perfect.

Leorio and Kurapika.

I know, I know. This is controversial. Therefore I will not elaborate.

Hisoka and Jail.

Send him to jail. Right now. Shoo. Away. Lock him up. Throw away the key.

Hisoka and Illumi.

Now I fucking hate Hisoka but if he’s gonna be with anyone then Illumi is the perfect match. Illumi is probably too old for him tho because you know he likes em young.

L and Misa.

Now I was dead set on being a Lawlight shipper the first time I got through death note. But my fifth time around I realized something. Misa loved Light because he brought justice to those who took her parents life. Ls whole deal is justice. And also L straight up admits he could fall for her. And also! They’re both dead!

Reiner and Berotoroldtorooldt

Need I say more. Beet is totally Reiners bitch. He’s the bottom and Reiner is the misunderstood top. “We’re going home, Berotoldotlodoldt” now if that’s not two husbands planning their getaway idk what is.

Naomi and that one guy that tried to blow her up with lemon bombs on the train.

Idk man. Maybe I’m just weird for thinking that’s an ex retaliating.

Dazai and Chuuya.

They’re trying to kill each other so obviously they’re madly in love. Ammirite, every fandom ever?

Johnathan and Dio.

Homos.

Speedwagon and myself.

Daddy speedwagon, please love me.

Matsuda and Soichiro.

This is canon and we all know it. After work when they wanna blow off some steam they book a different hotel room than where the investigation went on and had it out.

Misa Misa and myself.

Need I say more?

Historia and Ymir.

Now for once we have someone that’s canon. She said she wanted to marry her, she wrote “love, Ymir”. It’s beautiful.

Historia and Reiner.

Yeah I know... he wanted to eat her or something idk I haven’t finished season 4. But still. Good girl, tough guy. That’s not to love?

Megumi and a fucking haircut.

Jean and Marco.

It’s so obvious!

Mikasa and Jean.

They’re adorable. Jean obviously still has a crush on her. Mikasa is a badass and Jean is the slightly clumsy bf. It’s perfect.

Erwin and Levi

I read a porno about this and you know what it really did leave an impression on me, you could switch out the entire “no regrets” with this porn book and the plot would remain the same, maybe better.

Dutch van der linde and Arthur Morgan.

Heh. No, I won’t elaborate.

Molly and Sadie.

This might be me projecting my desire for a relationship to a readhead city girl while I’m the merciless gunslinger led into a life of crime at the loss of my loved ones but I digress.

Nadine and Sam Drake.

Now I’d prefer to have Nadine to myself, but Sam seems pretty perfect for her. Again with the badass gf and clumsy, little bit stupid boyfriend that I just live for.

Gehrman and a fuckinf break.

That concludes my essay, guys, have a good night!

[cateyesinlove]

I posted 8,915 times in 2021

43 posts created (0%)

8872 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 206.3 posts.

I added 186 tags in 2021

#911 ls - 38 posts

#911 lone star - 38 posts

#tarlos - 35 posts

#carlos reyes - 24 posts

#tk strand - 18 posts

#ted lasso - 9 posts

#ted lasso tv - 7 posts

#buddie - 6 posts

#sam obisanya - 6 posts

#911 fox - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#why is sam and jaime starting to become so cute and making me ship them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I can’t express how fucking grateful I am that they resolved the whole secret boyfriends plot because I just want some happy Tarlos + Reyes family things from now on

91 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 04:38:05 GMT

#4

Listen the I know we all want TK to be Bucks bisexual awakening but I also desire with all my soul we get TK bragging non stop about his boyfriend 🥺💕 like please

162 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 16:25:15 GMT

#3

They fucking better pull a “ my family is a typical Latinx family and they absolutely have no boundaries so if I introduce you, they will for sure start planning the wedding and I know you aren’t ready for that, yet” or I will burn Fox to the ground

235 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 19:33:43 GMT

#2

HOW IS IT THAT OWEN COMMUNICATES BETTER WITH CARLOS THAN TK LIKE SIR , I KNOW YOU LIKE YOUR SON IN LAW BUT PLEASE

442 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 03:27:26 GMT

#1

Buck: yes TK Carlos niece is definitely the embodiment of cute but have you seen how Christopher smiles when he sees a cat?

TK: absolutely your son is definitely adorable but have you seen Carlos helping a little girl who lost her doll during a tornado?

Buck: yeah but Eddie talking down a worries mom is so much hotter

TK: my boyfriend is the embodiment of hot Buckley

Buck: DO YOU HAVE EYES? * showing a picture of Eddie holding a puppy*

TK: * shows a picture of Carlos holding her niece*

Buck: *shows him a picture of Eddie hugging chris*

TK: *shows him a pic of Carlos hiding a kitty*

* Paul and Hen on the side watching all of this go down*

Paul: *to hen * so you say he is straight?

Hen: * sighing touching her forehead* don’t remind me

Paul: when he first mentioned Eddie I thought they were married

919 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 19:15:19 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[a-splash-of-stucky]

⭐️ + hi cutie pie! i hope i can recommend you more then one movie so here goes my list: devil wears prada- amazing cast and badass women /adrift- amazing story/ annihilation- just watch it, you won't regret it/ only you- young rdj it's what we all need/ josh tucker must die- it's hilarious and hoenstly sweet/ baby driver- amazing soundtrack (also main character is too adorable). hope it's not too much and i wish you to reign on this site and be an amazing, talented author you are!!! love ya!

i’ve watched devil wears prada (though no harm in re-watching it, right?) but all the rest are yet to be watched! i’m excited, thanks darling!!

icon: i don’t get it? | it’s cute! | i love it! | stunning | PEGGY CARTERurl: i don’t get it? | it’s great! | amazing | i want it | NATASHA ROMANOFFdesktop theme: cute! | beautiful | i’m in love | so aesthetic | BUCKY BARNESmobile theme: pwetty | i like it! | WOW | drop-dead gorgeous | SAM WILSONcontent: not my thing, sorry | really good! | wonderful | gOALS | SHURI UDAKUoverall: 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | STEVE ROGERS

following: no, sorry, but ily! | +followed! | of course! | ’til the end of the line, palyour blog is giving me: MJ (from sm:h) vibesbonus: you’re like...the cutest person ever? idk, i just get the sense that you have a wonderful heart. more than once, seeing your stuff on my dash has made me smile :D

elsa’s one-year blogiversary

[according2thelore]

hi! Been seeing some of ur es/ls fics here and do you have a master linkcfor all of r writing? I really want to find the very dirst one and read from there and get with ur wonderful lore/plot!

hi!

consider this the official ES/LS verse masterlist! i will try to be diligent about updating it, but apologies if i miss anything!

(for those that are new [ hi! :) ], ES = early seasons, LS = late seasons, this is a time travel AU that i've been working on where early seasons (ES) sam and dean end up at the bunker with late seasons (LS) sam and dean)

first official one!

age gap

ES thirsting over LS brothers

finding out LS!Bros are together

making references

talking about john winchester

ES!Dean noticing LS!Sam's "pockmarks"

ES!Sam jealousy (ficlet)

ES!Dean not knowing how to help LS!Sam

discussing ES!Sam and ES!Dean

ES!Sam's thoughts on their life

making references (ficlet)

ES!Dean yearning (ficlet)

the steak one (ficlet)

sam runs away

meeting their friends

taking the spark plugs out of cars

first hunt (ficlet)

foursome (ficlet)

LS!Boys set up ES!Boys (ficlet)

ES!Dean wants to dote

ES!Sam feeling like the last choice

mommy ES Dean vs LS Dean

ES!sam gets injured (ficlet)

showing off sexually for ES!Sam

ES!Sam insecurity

ES!Dean/LS!Sam kissing and resulting drama (ficlet)

how are LS!Sam&Dean similar to John

LS!Boys set up confession with ES!Sam (ficlet)

not stealing firsts

first LS!Sam jealousy

proposing a foursome (ficlet)

unsympathetic LS!Sam

sequel to LS!Boys set up confession

ES!Boys dealing with LS!Boys' conflict

ES!Sam notices the no samulet on LS!Dean

ES!Sam finds The Voicemail (ficlet)

@/whoopsitswincest and i chatting about the verse

LS!Sam jealousy Pt. 2 (ficlet)

ES!Dean being adoring of LS!Sam and LS!Sam is a mess about it (ficlet)

ES!Sam calling LS!Sam "pathetic" (ficlet)

ES!Boys are together, but LS!Boys are not

LS!Sam has a nightmare (ficlet)

deans getting protective over both sams negative feelings about each other (ficlet)

ES!Dean & LS!Sam "come talk to me when ES!YouTwo find it out" (ficlet)

ES!&LS!Brothers & apologies

omegaverse bonus!

a little text break bc tumblr won't let me make this one contiguous list for some reason?

ES!Sam asks LS!Dean what ES!Dean likes in bed (ficlet)

cas brings up the demon blood to ES!Sam

ES!Dean makes LS!Sam laugh and LS!Dean does not take it well (ficlet)

anon writes in about LS!Boys date night/dancing

ES!Sam&LS!Sam talk about dean's habits and ES!Dean&LS!Dean talk about sam's habits (ficlet)

[ongoing]

i don't have a hard-and-fast masterlist, but i collect the things i write under the tag #lizzy writes (linked here), and that includes things like things i've written in the tags or as additions to other posts!

thank you so much for asking!!! :) i hope you have fun scrolling through the (frankly embarrassing) amount of fic i've got loaded up for this verse!

-lizzy <3

[according2thelore]

Do you know what just occurred to me about the Ls/es verse? And I don’t know if you’ve written this- but like. LsDean is obviously hilariously jealous. Everyone is jealous of everyone here. And he’s super jealous about the care lssams face, and the possibility of sex, and everything. But like. Can you imagine esdean making lssam laugh? Like? Hysterically. The huge belly laughs that aren’t even easy to get out of essaam- Sam’s never laughed too easy. But lssam? You get smiles and chuckles. You don’t get that huge laughter anymore. Not for years. And just watching/walking in on. Esdean cracking up lssam? Holy shit. Murderous rage. Crippling insecurity. Just. Peak peak jealousy and hatred for himself. I’m not entirely sure lsdean wouldn’t take a swing.

GAH!!!! reporting this post to a trusted adult!!!

i absolutely had to write this--your mind...it's too big...

dean hears it when he's coming in from the garage.

his feet turn and begin a pilgrimage before he can even think about it, drawn to that sound like he's sure vultures have been drawn to the smell of carrion for millennia.

as he gets closer, it registers.

laughter. sam's laughter. his sammy's laughter. the voice is deep, booming, too low for sam's 2006 voice. disbelief and something that feels vaguely like nausea makes dean's stomach twist as he picks up his pace.

he finds them in the laundry room.

"that was the worst line i've ever heard" sam sputters between bouts of--dean rounds the corner, and yes, it is. laughter. raucous, side-splitting, freeing laughter.

sam howls again, loud, long peals of laughter bursting from him as he has to hold himself up on the washing machine.

young dean is laying a few feet away from him in a puddle of spilled laundry detergent, goopy blue sludge slipping under his palms as he props himself up. he looks up at sammy like sammy has created the earth, like sammy is the first human person he's seen in a decade. his eyes are wide, adoring, the ghost of a smile on his own lips as if to sip from sam's joy, mouth twitching in small movements around nothing as he tries and fails to come up with words.

sammy's head is thrown back.

dean's breath catches in his throat when sam tilts forward, laughing so hard that he's holding onto his stomach. his hair falls into his face.

he looks younger. decades younger. he looks like when dean--running on two hours of sleep and three skin-of-the-teeth hunts--had glued the slide of his gun to his hand when he mistook a bottle of gorilla glue for the gun oil. he looks like when he was six, rolling around crying because dean had tickled him.

dean hasn't been able to make him laugh like this in...

something shriveled and angry and mean contracts in dean's stomach.

dean wants to go over and slam his younger self's head into the concrete, again, again, until his stupid teeth out, until sam stops laughing like that, like he...like he--

younger dean is still looking up at sam like he's god--and fuck, tears leaking out of his eyes from mirth, face pink, dissolving into helpless giggles, sammy might as well be.

they were doing laundry together.

dean's ears ring.

the world snaps into focus, like unmuting a football game on TV just as the introductory musical sting plays, deafening.

sam--as if he can hear dean's life crumpling like a tin can--lifts his head. his smile dims a little, and dean wants to fucking goddamn die. when did he become a person that makes sam's joy wilt? when did he become a person that couldn't make sam laugh like this?

"dean," sam says, out of breath, still chuckling a little. his eyes flick over dean's face, then away back at dean on the ground. "you should've seen it--"

"hey!" his younger self squawks, spreading his legs a little like he's doing snow angels in the pool of detergent. "not cool, dude. let me die in my silent, clean shame."

sammy collapses.

he's holding his stomach, brow pulled together and mouth open as he cackles like he has no worries at all.

dean takes an aborted step forward, feeling raw and vulnerable like an exposed nerve, like a hunter without a brother at his back.

he's nauseous.

dean hates this. he hates that sammy needs this so bad that stopping it would be cruel, hates that he cannot give sam what he needs. since when has he not been able to give sam what he needs? what he wants? since when can sam find necessary things from others?

dean is furious, but he's not sure at whom. his hands shake, so he bundles them into fists. he looks at his younger self, who pales visibly.

dean has been labouring over sam's laughter. he's been putting in minutes and hours and days building up jokes, throwing out quips like one tries to take shots at a bullseye. he's gotten chuckles, sure, and one time--it sticks out like a recording in dean's head--sam had rocked with silent laughter when the coroner they were interviewing sneezed so hard he fell backwards into his tray of tools and sent scalpels flying.

dean has been working himself raw to get sam to look like this. and here comes this--this interloper, and makes sam look fifteen years younger, make side-splitting, joyful laughter spill from his lips.

he has never hated anything more, body and mind warring with each other as sam's laughter makes dean's shoulders untense, make his chest fill lopsided-full, and as his mind focuses on his younger self, an impudent little bastard.

has dean...has dean lost this?

he thought that sam had just been through too much to laugh so hard he cried. but clearly, he can. clearly, only dean's younger self can do this. clearly, sam can only be coaxed into joy by this...this boy. clearly, sam has a preference. a favourite.

the problem wasn't sam's. it--all along--has been dean's fault.

dean's lost this ability. somehow, somewhere, dean became too cynical or too mean or too warped for sam to feel this.

"hey, man, it's not--" his younger self says, smile completely gone and face grave. he looks--and goddamn him straight to hell--sympathetic. understanding.

dean doesn't want to be understood.

he doesn't want his failure to be understood, to be seen in real time, acknowledged that he is inferior, that there are parts of him that sam can love better, and those parts died years ago.

dean's going to kill him. he knows he's breathing fast, can feel the spark of violence right in his neck, in his arms, in his hands. he wants to slam dean's stupid face into the fucking concrete. he wants to hit him until he is as unrecognizable as dean is, until he loses this thing that sam clearly loves so much.

he tolerated the little bastard before now because he understands his awe, knows that the kid can't be helped but drawn into sam more than a sailor can be pulled towards the sea. he's an annoying little shit, and doesn't know his limits, but dean--on some level--got it.

but now he has something that dean wants, has something dean mourned for years, thought he wasn't ever getting back.

dean turns, before he can take another step forward and do something that'll turn sam against him forever, and, like a coward, flees.

GAHH your mind...i am now Thinking...you're so right LS!Dean would either be throwing punches or barely holding himself back... thank you sm for this ask!!! <3

-lizzy

(ES/LS masterlist here)

[according2thelore]

Holly Heck

That masterlist for LS/ES Winchesters is 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

Assuming Castiel pops in from time to time (and maybe the poor baby doesn't notice Sam's gotten almost two decades younger lol) what happens if Castiel let slip that Sam has demon blood? Like maybe a surprise "Sam??? What happened? Why do I sense demon blood in you again?"

HAHA anon you are very correct, lol!

i mentioned this briefly in this ES/LS verse entry, but ES!Sam would ADORE castiel. he's so gobsmacked and shaky-excited he meets him the first time, so could you imagine that version of sam meeting a castiel that actually loves and appreciates him?? oh it's game over.

LS!Dean keeps stepping on cas's foot when cas says something particularly glowing and kind bc...back off dude...that's sammy you're talkin to...

cas heals a cut on sam's hand one day and sam almost passes out from pure glee. both deans make a unanimous vote to ban cas from the bunker until sam can get a grip, and LS!Dean physically removes cas when he finds ES!Sam trying to slip cas his phone number 'just in case.'

and GAH

i've always kind of headcanoned that angels don't really look at vessels if they can help it (esp since in the show angels often talk about how gross/fleshy/nasty they find human appearance), and just look at souls.

so cas teleporting into the kitchen while ES!Sam is making coffee and they both stare at each other like !!!!!!! ???? !!!!!!!!

and very quietly, cas asks, "did you relapse? your blood is five-point-nine percent demon blood right now. sam, do you need help? i thought you'd been getting better..."

and now ES!Sam is like "wait the fucking WHAT"

and when LS!Dean walks in he kind of freezes while sam is still shouting relapse? blood?! DO I DRINK IT??? PLEASE TELL ME CASTIEL DO I DRINK FUCKING BLOOD NOW??? DEAN AM I A VAMPIRE???

and cas turns to dean, and says, nervous and trying to cover what he thinks is sam's relapse, "we're not talking about demon blood."

and now, while LS!Dean starts yelling at cas, ES!Sam shuts the fuck up because it just clicked and at this point in S2, they've had inklings of what's going on with sam, and now here it is, confirmed.

naturally, sam is devastated and horrified, and we get a lot of what we get in S2. but now ES!Sam knows that even if it works and he can scrub the blood from his system, it's a problem that'll haunt him from the rest of his life.

even when he's "clean," sam will have issues staying "clean." he's addicted to his own rot.

this one was so fun and juicy, anon, thank you so much!

-lizzy

(ES/LS verse masterlist here)

[according2thelore]

So I had a thought to make an AU off your es/ls AU! And my thought was what if the early season Sam and Dean that visit late season Sam and Dean were from different timelines? In that everything is the same except for the boys relationship!

For example the es!boys got together when Sam was about 17. But he still ends up leaving for Stanford. And then they rekindle at some point in S1.

However the ls!boys are living in a timeline where it’s NEVER happened. They’ve just been in a state of weirdcest a la the show, this whole time.

And so instead of ls!brothers working to hide it from their younger selves, it’s something they stumble upon instead and hoooo boy does it cause problems. The es!boys don’t try and hide it beyond how they normally function bc at first they all think they are from the exact same timeline. So they aren’t worried about ls!boys seeing them they just are used to keeping it close.

I imagine ls Sam and Dean finding out separately and they don’t tell each other at first bc they’re freaking out. Something they’ve never done but these two have and what does that MEAN!? The repression was strong with them both and now the foundation has cracked and suddenly there’s this bubbling tension between them again, just like when they were teens, before Sam left.

Finally Sam admits he has to discuss it with Dean bc this means that they are NOT their past selves. They are from a divergent reality that is otherwise is very similar. And sooooo they aren’t only time traveling they are reality traveling and oh lord that must be harder to fix!

And discuss!! :D

GASP your MIND!!!!!!

let's discuss!

"hey guys, i--" sam slams the door closed. holy shit. holy shit.

he had opened the door to their younger selves' shared room, and sam was--on top, of dean. on top of him. and they were--they were--

the door cracks open. sam stands there, looking embarrassed.

"hey. sorry." he snorts. "you know how it is."

"no, i do NOT!" sam says, flinching when he realizes his voice is almost a shout. he lowers his voice, checking around the hallway. luckily, he's the only person there. "i do not." he repeats.

younger sam blinks at him.

"you...don't?" his jaw sets, and his eyes narrow. "did he...leave us? is there someone else? what did we do?"

sam balks.

what a little asshole. first, younger sam makes out with his brother and--and--blames older sam for not actively kissing his own?? what the fuck? sam's the problem? what a dick.

but honestly...fair. if anyone was going to mess it up, it would be sam.

~~~

dean hauls his younger self off of sam bodily, dragging him into the hallway and shoving him against cinderblock.

"okay what the fuck--" he starts to shout, but younger sam runs out into the hallway after them. dean thinks he's coming to get his own licks in, but sam is clawing at dean's hands, trying to get him off of dean's younger self.

dean thought he had just walked in on violation, but sam is cooing over dean and checking over him and...and--

"sammy, i'm okay." younger dean pants. "let him say what he needs to say, okay? i'll be fine."

sam backs up slowly, unwillingly, and steps back inside. dean immediately turns back to older dean, eyes wide.

"did he leave us? is there someone else? what did we do?"

dean gapes. what a fucking dick.

why did dean have to be the one to mess it up? first, the guy kisses his own brother and blames dean for not also kissing his brother? dick!

but honestly...fair. dean would be the one to mess it up.

~~~~

your idea is so JUICY because here are LS!Sam&Dean trying not to say anything to each other because what if they're grossed out? what if they think it's wrong? what if--worst possible scenario--they try to separate ES!Sam&Dean. LS!Sam and LS!Dean saw the looks in their eyes. those kids are gone and the adoration is so naked that it hurts to look at. they want it so damn bad.

so they don't say anything.

but at the same time, it eats them alive.

they want to know. they need to know.

LS!Dean corners ES!Dean in the weapons room and asks, "when did it start? who made the first move? who tops? what did it change? how long have you known?"

(to which the answers are: after dad died, sam, we switch, not a damn thing but everything for the better, and as long as you have.)

LS!Sam builds up his courage all afternoon (because it's not his business. but he wants to know. but it's invasive. but it's himself! but what if this messes up the timeline?) but finally leans across the table and asks, quietly, "how did you know it was mutual? how did you get over the...you know? why'd you start? who tops?"

(to which the answers are: as soon as he kissed me back and not a second before, incest? it's less of a big deal than i thought it was, honestly, i kissed him because i couldn't live another second without knowing what it was like (since he died. since we almost lost him. since he almost died in the car we were raised in. the only home we have.), and really dude? both.)

but finally, and especially if someone else is pitching in to help them solve it, LS!SamandDean have to reluctantly admit that they know certain aspects of their lives have changed.

something big. something about them, and their dynamic.

and now--they can barely look at each other in the eye!!! because every time dean looks at sam, he can only see the way his brows furrow when he's being kissed, like it hurts.

when LS!Sam looks at LS!Dean, he wants to know what his mouth tastes like, and he can only imagine what thing made ES!Dean fall in love with ES!Sam. it's easy to see why ES!Sam would fall in love with ES!Dean. he's charismatic and protective and dean. it makes sense. but ES!Sam??

and LS!Dean looks back at their lives and wonders how different it would be if things were different. if...they were different. did sam ever want to kiss him? why doesn't that disgust him?

but when it comes out, they can only blink at each other because they know!!!!

there's the immediate instinct to suggest they should give them separate rooms--just so it looks normal to the other LS!Brother, to show that they, too, are grossed out by it--but how can they?? how can they look into ES!Dean's eyes and tell him, before hell and michael and being a demon, that he can't be happy?? how can they tell ES!Sam, who's already struggling with fears of corruption and months away from being stabbed to death in a ghost town, that he has to die alone??

it's so fucked, and STILL!!!! LS!Boys step around each other awkwardly and avoid eye contact and dream about the shape of their brother's mouth!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!!

~~~~

GAHHHHHHH your brain is INSANE!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!!!! rotating this concept in my brain like a microwave. i'm OBSESSED!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!!! <3

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

THE POCKMARKS!!!!! holy shit es!dean noticing the way ls!sam is so flinchy - bc he is, god bless jared padalecki for that - and blaming the shit out of ls!dean. es!dean trying to get the reasons why out of of ls!sam but sam just refuses to tell this kid version of his brother anything about lucifer bc he doesn’t need that burden!! AHHH.

every ask you answer is driving me insane. obsessed w your mind

YOU GET IT!!!!

LS!Sam shies away from ES!Sam&Dean's fights when they suddenly yell, he jumps when doors slam, he burns his fingers on the stove and doesn't even notice until both deans rush over to pull them off the hob.

he skirts the darkest corners of the street when they walk, and his head suddenly jerks to the side sometimes when they sit in the library like he's trying to get something out of his head.

and when ES!Dean leans in to finally, shakily kiss LS!Sam, sam presses down hard on his own left palm.

this drives ES!Dean up the fucking wall. he blames LS!Dean. how could he have failed to protect sam this severely? dean has spent his entire life on essentially one principle: look out for sam.

and LS!Dean failed. he couldn't do it. he betrayed who dean is at his very core. and he seemingly doesn't live his life in a pit of unconquerable despair. he doesn't handle sam with the care (read: little kid gloves) that he deserves. he punches sam's shoulder and roughs him up and pretends that he didn't fail sam in every conceivable way.

it's disgusting. it's pathetic.

and you bet your ass ES!Dean tries to take LS!Dean to task about it a few times. i would be surprised if LS!dean actually disputes any of the points he makes. just, "come on, kid, you don't want to do this shit with me. shut up, you don't know what you're talking about."

and when ES!Dean finally can't take it, he takes LS!Dean to the ground in a fit of fury. LS!Dean wins easily, but he pulls so many punches that LS!Sam asks him about it after.

he's right, and he's young, and he loves you. i want to kick my own ass about it more than once a day. i still can't process it, and he's still waiting for his voice to drop all the way. let him have it. maybe he says any of this, but he most likely doesn't.

ES!Dean begs and begs and begs LS!Sam to tell him something--anything--because this is not a sam he's used to facing. this is not a sam he can avenge. LS!Sam ruffles his hair like a child and looks at dean like he's adorable for wanting to chew through the intestines of the person that did this.

and ES!Dean is not used to not being able to fight sam's demons for him. young dean would let sam crawl into his bed when he was scared, he would offer to destroy sam's bullies, he was willing to rip every hunter limb-from-limb when they questioned sam.

but this is not a problem he can fix, and it crushes him.

sam won't tell him because he knows that it will shatter him. how can you even tell this dean, with dark freckles and shining eyes and hands shaking with adrenaline when he pulls you in for a kiss, that you spent over a hundred years being ripped apart in every single way one soul can? you can't.

it almost killed LS!Dean when it happened the first time. LS!Sam knows that even though ES!Dean begs and pleads and threatens to rip LS!Dean's dick off, that he's still so young. he thinks that azazel (still "yellow eyes" to these untried versions of themselves) is the worst thing they will ever face.

so sam demurs, and he kisses dean's forehead, and he distracts him with pieces of the future ("our best friend tried to be god, once"), but he swears that dean will never know.

and EEP! anon!!! i am obsessed with YOU!!!! these asks make my week, lol! i'm so glad you all still like these! holding your hand RIGHT NOW.

-lizzy :)

[according2thelore]

ohhhhh man now you’ve got me brooding over es!sam. it never occurred to me before that among them, he would end up feeling always the square peg in a round hole. the pride and resilience and hope he carried like medals in the first seasons gave him a sense of value and esteem, and i can’t imagine how it feels to be thrown into this inevitability where none of himself remains and in fact the bits he tries to hold onto are an irritant to the quid pro quo in a way nobody will outright honestly explain to him. rather than saving himself and his brother and the world like he thought he would at the end of it all, everywhere he looks is just another form of loss. ls!boys would lap up his es brother, the eager (and adorably naive) hunter with ideas and brawn and something to prove, so much of the same flowing through the blood of all 3 of them, but imagine the grief es!sam feels walking through the cold echoing hallways of the bunker, everything just a nauseating maelstrom of weapons and lore books and charts, no john, no mary, no jess, no wives and no children, no living friends, no presence or interest in the world he always dreamed to blend into, and nobody at his side to truly understand or feel that grief with him. and on top of that the things he feels about dean, complex and ugly and heavy to hold, have somehow been tugged out of him into the open in the future and locked behind a door he has no key to and even touching the knob burns his hand - the derision/amusement of the ls!bros even if they don’t intend it as such, the constant knowing smiles like he isn’t THEM like they don’t know how it feels and how much it suffocates him ohhhh man look what you’ve done to my poor heart with these snippets

YES!!!! ANON!!! YOU GET IT!!!!

first off, your writing is gorgeous?? holy shit?? eating all of your words they are in my mouth now i am sorry

but YES

he would def feel like the odd man out (depending on the season ES!Sam is from) because the other three love the life. they find joy and purpose and meaning in the hunt in a way sam lost. the hunt is a tool. a means to an end.

i think it wouldn't take long for LS!Sam to see the bunker, with the dozens of empty rooms--the shell of a home, only echoes and blades and the collected sum total of knowledge of people long-dead--and ask the group, "is this fucking it?"

no one knows what he's talking about (ES!Dean is so excited because he gets a kickass bunker AND a garage AND an armory AND sammy forever??), but sam is shaking because there are shirts folded in some of the empty rooms' dressers. dead men who thought they'd come back, a physical reminder of every goddamn person they've lost in the endless quest for vengeance. everything sam left for.

"is this all i fucking get?" ES!Sam snaps. "an underground crypt? no wife. no kids. no job. no fucking friends? did the hunt really fucking bury us?"

and everyone goes deadly fucking silent. LS!Dean has to leave the room because it's everything he'd always feared LS!Sam thinks. sam has always needed others more than dean does (or at least, that's what dean thinks, we literally see contradictory evidence in the show but okay). LS!Dean's afraid that sam has always resented him for the way their lives ended up, for dragging sam down with him.

and ES!Dean is crushed because this is his dream. he gets to save lives. he gets to carry dad's legacy. he gets to keep sam, all the unnecessary fluff--a mission to keep them together, girls, obligations--removed. and sam is disgusted by it.

LS!Sam just stares at ES!Sam blankly. he's annoyed with him, before something smaller, something pitying, slips into the shape of his mouth. he gets up to follow LS!Dean, leaving ES!Sam to wallow in his own sick. in this moment, Sam can't even empathize with himself.

and ES!Sam is sitting in the blast radius of his own fury. no one will look him in the eye. LS!Dean looks sick before he leaves the table. no one will answer his questions. no one even tries.

LS!Sam keeps trying to say, "this is what i want, sam. i don't mind. i love what i do, and i love doing it with dean." and all sam can hear is i gave up. i couldn't get out. i'm coping. don't destroy this glass house with a hammer because it's the only home i have left.

and ES!Sam still aches. because ES!Dean is already choosing another sam. LS!Dean looks at him like he has the power to kill him. LS!Sam looks at him like he pities him, which is the deepest cut of all.

poor sam. poor sam who doesn't want to die for this. poor sam who doesn't get us, who isn't us.

LS!Dean, ironically enough, is the closest ES!Sam gets to compassion, but it always feels like blows directed at himself. yeah. it sucks, kid. it fucking blows. i wanted you to get a wife. to get out. i...i tried. i'm sorry. it's more self-recrimination than care.

but GOD! ES!Sam goes for a run and sprints until he throws up because he sees the packed strength of LS!Dean's arms, the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes. he sees the easy way LS!Sam&Dean laugh with each other, the way they talk with looks alone, the naked adoration. he sees ES!Dean and aches and aches and aches and aches and aches. he needs something he doesn't have the words for, something he's terrified to name, because does that mean that he's giving up? does that mean that he's the fucked up one--perverting this easy life that they all clearly adore?

and even the joy he finds--talking with LS!Dean in the kitchen, sparring with ES!Dean in the gym, enthusing with LS!Sam over texts--there are moments. small ones. where sam realizes that the person talking to him kind of stops, content. he's already part of this system, of this unit. sometimes the pauses feel patronizing. or excited. or so full of tension that sam is already hardening in his jeans. or sad. and it's confusing, but sam is walking down the empty hallways, passing rooms of dead men and seeking out his brother, always his brother, always.

GRAH!!! lonely ES!Sam. bitter ES!Sam. joyful ES!Sam. jealous ES!Sam. possessive ES!Sam. ES!Sam choking on the things he doesn't understand--the things he can't--that have made their lives the way they are.

thank you for this ask, anon! it was beautifully written! and now i am also thinking about this! perpetual motion machine of devouring ES!Sam whole!

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

i love the es dean / ls sam dynamic you've set up so much. I feel like it would slowly become a little hard for es dean though, as much as he's also happy as hell -- bc this sam knows him SO WELL and can read him like a freaking book and is able to ~take care of him~ and dean tries soo hard but he can't reciprocate as fully. it's the steak, it's sammy pushing him away for older dean after a nightmare, it's something happening that sets him off and sam just LEAVES (okay, to the gun range, not leaves-leaves, but STILL) and when es!dean tries to follow ls!dean won't let him, says he needs the time alone to regulate.....

I think it would be really tough for 26yo dean who is so used to caring for people--who LOVES caring for people--and is not so used to being doted on. and ofc ls sam knows he's trying and adores him for it and isn't at all upset but still... i think the role reversal, as it is, would be tough for him at times.

you're so right, anon!!!!

and EEP!!! thank you!!! ES!Dean and LS!Sam are just *sounds of me devouring them like the cookie monster*

you've hit the nail right on the head!

one of my favourite things about dean as a character is his crippling desire to be essential.

i think this trait is a lot more baldly demonstrated in the early seasons--he's collapsing inwards from it. he needs to be essential to dad, but he's not. he needs to be essential to sam, but he's not.

hell, he says it S1E2: "saving people, hunting things" -- he needs to be needed. his entire identity is built on the necessity of his existence. he has to hunt these monsters, because they (civilians) rely on him. who is going to protect them if i don't? i sacrifice my health and safety and life so the ambiguous "you" are safe.

LS!Dean takes a more back-step approach to this: he has a circle of friends/family that he wants to be important to, but he really only needs to be essential to sam (the trials, kicking cas out of the house in a time of particular need, not being responsive to jack's need to connect, etc.). he has his reasons, but he's a lot more jaded, and connects less with individuals on hunts. a barest touch less "saving people" a touch more "hunting things."

but for ES!Dean?? babygirl he NEEDS IT!!!! he loves serving a purpose!!!!! when sam says "i need you to be my brother again, because, just because--" DEAN DROPS EVERYTHING!!!! HIS BABY NEEDS HIM!!!

people needing ES!Dean is his purpose! so i think an LS!Sam who has needs that dean can't fill, or that can only be filled by someone else (like LS!Dean), it would tear ES!Dean down from the inside.

and he's not used to being doted on! his whole purpose is functionality to the user. ES!Sam just came back after not-needing dean so hard that he left for four years, some of that no-contact.

so for LS!Sam to choke down a steak that he can't stand, or take ES!Dean to the store and insist on buying him whatever cool shit he can fit in his arms; to, hell, even the quiet moments, of LS!Sam bringing ES!Dean his beer first. or salting ES!Dean's fries at the counter like he likes them before they even sit down.

it's confusing!!!! ES!Dean keeps trying desperately to reciprocate, to prove that i have function too! i know you, too! i'm not ungrateful, and i'm not purposeless, and you should keep me! please keep me!

but he keeps misstepping! from big things like the steak or being unable to calm sam down from a panic attack to small things like not knowing which weird hippie cereal sam likes best.

he keeps trying to provide and to dote and to care, but LS!Sam needs different things from dean than he did when he was 22.

of course, LS!Sam is giddy and smiling softly and wants to hold his little baby face between his hands because he can tell ES!Dean is trying so hard. ES!Dean adores being doted on, as much as it's confusing and strange, because it makes him feel wanted!

you said it--ES!Dean LOVES caring for people! it's how he expresses his love and devotion and intention! and being unable to fully reciprocate this attention from LS!Sam would break his little ES heart!

he can't understand why LS!Sam sometimes needs to leave to regulate (and a small, frantic, base part of him panics bc the last time sam needed "space," dean didn't hear from him for two years). dean's not good at giving space, lol. he wants to be needed! he needs it! he loves it!

by the way, i ADORE the way you wrote this. your insight!! your talent!! mwah!!!

YOU GET IT!

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

okay so your es/ls verse is making me lose my mind omg!! I check everyday and every little snippet heals a part of my soul I am not even kiddinggg! This last one about es!sam missing was so so so on point, I finally have the courage to send you an ask - what if es!sam or dean or both at the same time see ls!sam and dean uhm...um...doing what they are yearning for, kissing or spooning or straight up boning...what happens then? Does ES!Dean freak out and bolt? Does ES!Sam feel hopeful about the future for the first time since coming? Do ES!Sam&Dean evade each other forever?????? Do they accept it or try to play up their wtf reactions as if they havent been dreaming of this forever???

PS - odd detail but I love how adorably you write "kisses you on both cheeks" - english isnt my first language so forgive me if this comes as weird but this phrase of yours always me laugh because it is so cute haha?! I hope ES!Sam kisses Cas on both cheeks? Did I use it right???

EEK! thank you, anon! MWAH MWAH!

and please send me all the asks in the world! i cradle all of these asks in my hands like a duckling, lol!

OKAY ANON LMAO I TOTALLY READ THIS WHOLE THING COMPLETELY WRONG!!!! i read it as: what if LS!Dean&ES!Sam walk in on LS!Sam&ES!Dean kissing, and wrote this big long terrible thing about it!!!! my mistake!!!!!!! i was about to click publish then read it again and realized my error! if y'all ever want that lesson in angst and torture, lmk lol.

but GAH!!! your BRAIN!!!! i had to write a narrative little thing about it, i hope you enjoy!

sam doesn't know where the hell anyone is.

he checks the kitchen. nope. the armory, no one. the library? empty. he checks everyone's bedrooms, the garage, the war room, the dungeon (still can't believe there's a future where he owns a dungeon), and they're all completely empty.

sam is starting to suspect that they all went out without him, despite the fact that sammy had immediately established the ground rule that no "same" winchesters can go out together without a pretty extensive disguise.

that rule had been established when they all went out to the bar to drink their collective problem away (with the younger winchesters in big-billed trucker hats) and a drunk girl had stumbled straight from older dean's unwilling arms into younger dean's infinitely-more-willing arms and did a double-take. then a triple-take. then she saw The Sams, and they got the hell out of dodge before things could get ugly.

twins exist, for sure, but identical twins separated by 10+ years? not really.

sam's walking down another of the infinite hallways when he spots dean--his dean.

he had given up on finding anyone and gone to do some more archiving work. it was one of the only things that kept him sane in this new reality, and he enjoyed the quiet, satisfying work of logging complicated artifacts in his older self's laptop.

it was outside on of these rooms that he finds dean.

sam is positive there's nothing on these floors but dusty, mostly unopened rooms full of non-sharp, lore-heavy papers and gadgets and pottery, so he's confused why dean is here at all.

(and another, more bitter part of him is surprised to see him here without his precious sammy)

dean's pressed against a door, and sam's steps slow, because he's seen this exact scene in that one movie about the blair witch that terence made him watch at stanford. they had all jumped and laughed and rolled their eyes, but sam had sat straight as a board, beer sweating and unopened in his hand.

dean is clearly not looking at him, face pressed into the doorcrack like he's trying to smell or something. sam creeps forward, listening, but can only dean's quick breathing.

is he hurt? sam picks up his pace.

when he's directly behind him, he leans his head in close. he can smell his own shampoo in dean’s hair.

“dean!” he says suddenly, because it’s his big brother, and sam is legally obligated to be a little shit about it.

dean jumps like he just took a bullet to the kidney, and he slams both hands over his mouth. he whips around with glaring eyes, but he’s clearly shocked by something. something not-sam.

“what the hell?” dean asks, sharply, voice barely above a whisper.

“what are we doing?” sam asks, lowering his voice, too. is something wrong? what’s in the room? sam makes a step forward, but dean reaches a hand out to sam’s chest, keeping him there.

dean raises his other hand to his lips, motioning for sam to be quiet. sam hunches instinctively, and creeps forward quietly.

he and dean are sharing space next to the door, and sam presses even closer so dean’s back brushes his chest with every inhale. there’s a few-centimeter crack in the door, just enough for light to come through, but they can only see a sliver of a shelf from here.

there are voices, sam realizes. behind the door. they’re faint, but one is getting steadily quieter and louder, like they’re pacing back and forth from the door.

"--leave, already?"

a soft laugh. "you don't mean that."

a groan. "yeah, sammy, i kinda do. i don't like this. that we have to hide this."

sam knew it was their older selves, but the confirmation of it shoots a spark of nerves all the way down to his toes. why are they here?

“we’ve hidden this before. we hide literally everywhere. all the time.”

“but it’s us, y’know?”

“even more reason. could you imagine telling dean that this is how we end up?”

“kid’ll wet himself in glee, promise you that.” a silence. “what?”

“nothing. just…”

“d’ah, stop lookin’ at me like that.” dean grumbles. and his voice stops moving back and forth.

“or what?” challengingly. sam flushes, because he knows that tone of voice. he flirts with that voice. keep it together, man, he wants to scream to his older self. dean shifts in front of him.

“or i’ll come over there and make you,” dean says, and sam can feel the dean in front of him tense up.

there’s silence in the room for a second, and sam can feel the ragged inhales of the dean in front of him. sam’s palms are sweating.

“how long have they been here?” sam asks quietly, and if he didn’t know better, he would say dean shudders as his breath hits dean’s scalp.

“i don’t know. i just found them a few minutes ago. they’ve been talking about us.”

sam can feel dean’s voice rumble, and he closes his eyes, tight.

the silence reigns, and sam leans forward even more,

“what are they doing?”

sam reaches forward to push the door open. dean makes a wordless hushed sound of protest, but sam has already knocked the door open an inch. it’s silent on its hinges.

sam leans over dean, and his blood runs cold.

sammy is sitting on a table, facing the door. dean’s waist is pressed between his thighs, and one foot has hooked around dean’s calf to hold them close.

they’re kissing.

they’re kissing.

sam can hear the wet sounds their mouths make as they part and connect. tongues flash in the yellow over-head lights.

the dean in front of him makes a noise, shocked and…and something else.

“hate that i have to have you here, sammy. want to fuck you on the kitchen table, make them watch.”

sam watches his own face contort into a groan, watches older dean bite kisses down his throat. sammy’s lips are swollen and wet, and sam flushes hot because oh my god oh my fucking god—

“you like that idea, don’t you? spread you open for me, make your little favorite hear what a slut his older brother is? make him know you’re mine?”

younger dean’s hand flies to his mouth. sam desperately has to press a hand to his cock, and does so, praying that dean doesn’t turn around.

“no bites.” sammy pants, and tangles his hand in dean’s hair, pulling him away.

sam is shocked by the pure want and adoration on his older self’s face, and aches down to his very bones.

“can’t believe we wasted so much time.” he says, voice rough. his eyes are soft. older dean’s hand bunches in sammy’s shirt, and sam can see the tips of his ears go pink.

younger dean stumbles back, and slams into sam. sam jerks back with a yelp, throwing his hips away because he is terrified that dean is going to feel the hard swell of his dick in his jeans.

dean is panting, and his hand shakes on his mouth.

“oh my god,” dean whines. “they’re—together—they—“

“they’re fucking.” sam confirms, nodding and not knowing why. “they fuck. they fuck each other.”

“stop saying it!” dean whisper shouts, bending at the waist and standing up again, pacing in frantic little circles.

“together,” he’s muttering. “they’re—they—holy shit.”

sam’s heart is pumping in his ears. he can’t help it—he can’t—his eyes fall to dean’s crotch. there’s a bulge in his jeans. sam’s mouth goes dry. his whole body goes hot.

does…does dean—

“i don’t—“ sam says, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to follow that up with.

“yeah, i know.” dean says, laughing breathlessly. then his eyes get wide and he grabs a fist of his hair. “oh fuck. what are we gonna do?”

“pretend we didn’t see anything?” sam suggests.

“we were going to—y’know! to you!!! y’all!” dean says. he’s panicking. sam’s hope starts to curdle.

“say it—fuck. they’re fucking!” sam hisses. dean groans like he’s going to be sick.

dean put his hand over his mouth and starts muttering again. sam catches a few words. “kiss—how could he do that—little brother—we promised—can’t believe—“

something strange shifts in sam’s chest. since he was freshly 11—hell even before that, when he found out his kindergarten teacher was engaged, and sam found out what “marriage” meant, he had grabbed dean’s hand excitedly when he came to get him from the classroom and elatedly told him “we’re gettin’ married! i’m gonna marry you!” dad had later disabused him of that, and dean had crawled into their bed later that night and kissed sam’s tear-streaked cheeks. “it’s okay sammy,” he said, “i’m gonna be at your weddin’ anyway. standin’ right behind you.” sam’s stomach had curdled. “but if you’re really, super old—like 29–and you’re still not married, we can talk about it.”

sam had thought about it when he was 13 and watching dean press the girl of the month against the side of the impala from the motel window. 16 years to go, he had thought with all the tone and life of someone counting down the years of a terminal diagnosis. he had been rotting with this for years.

and they—future they—did it! are doing it? they…they’re together. in all the ways. in every way.

“i gotta go,” dean mutters, and sam catches one look at his overwhelmed expression before dean takes off. sam blinks after him, still processing.

together. he and dean together.

“dean,” sam calls. he’s shocked by how breathless he is, and clears his throat. “wait up!”

he follows his brother, like he’s been doing since he was six.

but for the first time in his life, his chest swells with a tentative, frantic hope. he’s afraid the weight of it—of them—will choke him. he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. dean probably won’t talk to him. but sam—he—it’s starting. this could go either way, but whatever this is—love, family, whatever—is starting.

and he can’t wait to find out.

~~~

“do you think they’re talking about it?” sammy asks later, washing his face before bed. dean is sitting on their bed with a cleaning cloth, freshly showered. “do you think it was enough of a kick in the ass?”

“knowing us, not a fucking shot.” dean says blandly, cleaning his gun. “at this rate, i think i will actually have to suck your cock in the library four times a day to get it to sink in.”

sam rolls his eyes, and dryly says, “romantic.” he adjusts his collar and his eyes land on a couple of splotchy bruises on his neck. “hey!” he leans out of the bathroom. “i think you actually left bruises.”

dean looks up, face purposefully placid.

“whoops. let’s hope pipsqueak doesn’t see those.”

sam scowls.

“you’ve got issues.”

dean lifts one shoulder up in a coy shrug and tilts his head.

“aw, baby. only for you.”

“you’re an ass!” sam calls as he steps back into the bathroom. he looks at his and dean’s toothbrushes sitting side-by-side.

he smiles. yeah.

they definitely got them.

~~~

PS - aw! thank you so much!!! it’s not weird at all! and yes, that's completely correct, haha! ES!Sam is for sure kissing Cas on both cheeks!

LS!Dean is the guy running up and trying to stop it but the poor fool is too late! they are embracing!

(I DO NOT KNOW WHY THE ONLY OTHER EXAMPLE OF THIS IN TUMBLR'S GIF LIBRARY IS FROM GABRIEL'S INFERNO, PLEASE IGNORE THE CONTEXT OH MY GOD AHAHAH)

anyway!!!

i am kissing you on both cheeks! so now we're both laughing! thank you for this ask, anon, it made me giggle! have a great day! <3

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

and ES!Dean's says, "who's this asshole? oh shit. is he blind? my bad." <- MADE ME CACKLE. I love those introductions SO MUCH oh my god!!! you are so smart. your brain must weigh you down so much, how you walk anywhere is a mystery to meee

I love this AU so much. I love it! LS!Sam very rarely getting upset with ES!Dean and it turning him on is craazy i love it. ES!Sam and LS!Dean are such brooders together too, god. i like to imagine that the LS brothers immediately forgot that anyone else exists when the younger ones appear, which leads to cas popping in. and es!sam absolutely ADORING cas after he's hated so much of their lives is definitely what leads to ls!dean banning all their friends from the bunker til this is over, lol

omg thank you, anon! <3

my brain does in fact weigh me down. it's a curse. (and by weigh me down, i mean i'm always writing lines of dialogue on post-its and in my notes app and in random docs never to be seen again). charlotte and i were sitting together on our couch once and she looked over at my scribbling frantically on my ipad and said, "tell me you are not hand-writing fic rn." dear reader, you'll never guess what i was fucking doing.

all jokes aside! THANK YOU?? omg?? that's so incredibly kind! my brain is regular-sized, i promise you!

lol i think ES!Dean would of course be very pissy over sam having a new friend, but a lot of his anger and fury in the first few seasons is very internalized. you can smell the self-loathing and terror rolling off dean in the pilot because he's wriggling in excitement that sam is back and trying not to ruin it.

but "so-there-was-a-girl" and "you-weren't-there-when-i-went-to-bed-last-night" LS!Dean? uh-uh. that's his little GUY! his little SAMMY!

and mr.-prays-every-night ES!Sam is too thrilled to meet a live and in person angel that he cannot let it go. especially a castiel that knows sam is good and is kind to him (as opposed to early seasons castiel).

LS!Dean for sure declares a blockade of people coming in.

hunters need help? that's too damn bad, here's garth's phone number. castiel needs sam to look something up? call him. friend needs somewhere to sleep for a weekend? here's $500, get yourself a hotel room.

thank you for this ask anon! mwah! <3

-lizzy