#quietdiscerning

[according2thelore]

Thanks Lizzy for the ask!

Here is a Late wincest Weds ask from me!

What is one scene or conversation Sam and Dean had that was especially wincest flavored that you want to rewrite to make it be EXPLICITLY wincest instead of weirdcest?

Muah! Ty again!

- Cassi

hi, cassi!! happy wincest wednesday!

thank YOU so much for the ask!!!

AGH! this one is so hard! my immediate reach for this one is of course the church scene. nothing like gently bandaging wounds/handfasting in a church while proclaiming your love:

DEAN: [...] But I can't do it without you. SAM: You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember? DEAN: Come on, man. That's not what I meant. SAM: No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again. DEAN: Sam -- SAM: [beginning to cry] What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just – DEAN: Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you. SAM: How do I stop? [SAM squeezes his hand as blood drips out onto the floor the orange glow is a little brighter but then starts to fade.] DEAN: Just let it go. SAM: I can't. It's in me, Dean. You don't know what this feels like. [DEAN wraps a bandanna around Sam’s cut.] DEAN: Hey, listen, we will figure it out, okay, just like we always do. Come on. [DEAN grabs SAM and pulls him in for a tight hug.] DEAN: Come on. Let it go, okay? Let it go, brother.

i needed sam to make his jealousy over benny more overt, and i would probably rewrite it to make it even more codependent and offputting if that's possible.

my mind also goes to dean's final monologue in s15e20, but...like...that's already borderline textual. it could stand to have just a touch more wincest:

SAM: P-Please. DEAN: I'm fading pretty...I'm fading pretty quick, so... there's a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. (Sam moves closer and Dean puts his hand on the side of Sam's neck) Let me look at you. Yeah, there he is. I'm so proud of you, Sam (Dean's hand is on Sam's shoulder and Sam is holding onto Dean wrist) DEAN: You know that? I've always looked up to you. (Sam is getting emotional, trying not to cry) Man, when we were kids, you were so damn smar... smart. You never...You never took any of dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you... Did I ever tell you that night that, uh... that I ca... That I came for you when you were at school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip? SAM: Yeah, um.. Uh, the Woman in White. DEAN: The Woman in White. That's right. I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't... I didn't know what... What you would say. (Sam is visibly crying) I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. And I don't know what I would've done... if I didn't have you. 'Cause I was so scared. I was scared, 'cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you... and me. SAM (crying): Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone. DEAN: Yes, you can. SAM: Well, I don't want to. DEAN: Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you... (Dean is crying as he places his fist over Sam's heart) Right here... every day. Every day you're out there and you're Li... And you're living and you're fighting, 'cause you...You always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there every step. I love you so much. My baby brother.

like...c'mon.

i also think i would rewrite dean in croatoan to say "you know what it's about" with his patent sam-smitten-eyes, before he gets cut off:

SAM: Dean, don't do this. Just get the hell out of here. DEAN: No way. SAM: Give me my gun, and leave. DEAN: For the last time, Sam. No. SAM: (slamming the table) This is the dumbest thing you've ever done. DEAN: Oh, I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa? (shudders) SAM: Dean, I'm sick. It's over for me. It doesn't have to be for you. DEAN: No? SAM: No, you can keep going. DEAN: Who says I want to? SAM: What? DEAN crosses to the other wall and pulls a handgun out of his waistband before sitting on the file cabinet. DEAN: I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life . . . this weight on my shoulders, man. I'm tired of it. SAM: So what, so you're just going to give up? You're just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know this stuff with Dad has — DEAN: You're wrong. It's not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure, but . . . SAM: What is it about? [my addition] DEAN: You know what it's about-- (They hear a noise outside.)

small one, and not "romantic," but definitely wincest, i think it would have been lovely if they changed s4e21 from

DEAN: No. I'm not giving him demon blood. I won't do it. BOBBY: And if he dies? DEAN: Then at least he dies human!

to:

DEAN: Then at least he dies mine!

because i think a lot of the ruby/dean conflict is about control, about who owns sam, and over who has guardianship over sam's decisions. plus, i think it reflects a lot of dean's control issues he has this season.

another small thing that could've been a joke, is during "mystery spot," sam should've tried kissing dean to see if that changed anything. dean could die immediately after, and it could've been played as a gag. i'm actually shocked he didn't try to kiss him. if it works, it works, right?

but i think my final choice has to be not a specific line of dialogue, but a scene. my ultimate choice for tweaking is the final montage in s15.

i'm talking domestic!chesters. i think it's perfect that they end up basically married in the bunker, and i would've loved to see just little hints that it's more than meets the eye. "dean's" room has the other side of the bed perfectly made. sam's jacket hangs on the other chair. dean reaches for someone on the other side of the bed before he realizes they're already up. later, dean rests a casual hand on sam's hip when he passes him in the kitchen.

at the pie festival, someone makes a comment that they're such a cute couple, and sam demurs but dean just winks. sam wipes the whipped cream off of dean's nose and puts his finger in his own mouth. dean kisses him and now they've both got shit on their face.

one of the witnesses flirts with sam and dean makes a weird face. sam steps closer to him and smiles awkwardly.

(and maybe at the very end of dean's death, a kiss he has to gasp his way through because he can barely breathe at this point.)

i just LOVE domestic!chesters. 🥺 and would have loved to see them living their domestic bliss.

thank you so much for this ask, cassi! i am so sorry it's 37 miles long, lol! this was such a fun ask! happy wincest wednesday! <3

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

But what if we didn’t want to be spared? What if we wanted to hear all your thoughts about Dean and him talking to Sam about Dean getting shipped off when he pissed off their dad?

Would you tell us then!??? ;)

in reference to this post here!

omg, hello friend!

well if you insist 👉👈 

talking from a meta perspective, this is so fascinating to me! because a lot of john's control in the show is enforced by his absence.

in "bad boys," dean is punished by john's absence, and he has to face the legal ramifications of his theft. in all of season one, john's control is exerted over his sons by his absence--they follow his text almost religiously, and dean has become more loyal in his absence, not less. his intentions have to be assumed, so they are assumed pure and for the benefit of his sons.

we see multiple times (but off the top of my dome, in "the girl next door") that sam is controlled from afar by john (i.e., in john's absence) from having and maintaining "outside" social relationships. he keeps him working almost 24/7 for research (triple red eye, anyone?), and controls where and how he can spend his time (sometimes using dean as an enforcer of these rules).

it's like john is most effective when he's not there. the threat of him looms over the narrative in season one, and the shadow of him is lingering around every corner until the show ends. i mean, hell, this conversation happens in SEASON FOURTEEN. TWELVE YEARS after john dies in canon. the things that sam and dean kept secret from each other on behalf of their father, and the things we are still finding out about their relationship with him never end.

he is THE absent father, but john is absent in the way that sound is absent in a party when the music is cut off--it's oppressive, it's disorienting, and someone hits you in the stomach with their elbow because their groove has been thrown off.

and so i think it is SO INTERESTING that john also controls both sam and dean with dean's absence (or, really, his exile).

dean is the obvious one, because it's a punishment. in my head--although i guess we never get this confirmed--john sends him on individual hunts that dean could take care of solo. that way, dean has to work hard for his penance, and it's another way to keep him in check, instead of sending him off to...idk...organize bobby's sock drawer.

but also sam! john is inserting himself into and causing friction within their relationship. "i think you knew that" means that john did not tell sam that he sent dean away. it means that john didn't even tell sam what dean was doing while gone, because "it wasn't because i ran out on you."

the fact that sam does not correct dean here--or after--that he knew dean was doing something else, or doing something important, implies that john a) left out information [i.e., not giving an explanation at all for dean's absence] or b) LIED and told sam that dean ran out.

sam acknowledges that this is an apology. so john actively causes friction in their relationship (as we also see in season one) through controlling access to the truth, and controlling through exile.

i also like the fact that dean is bringing it up, in sam's words, as a "deathbed apology." UNTIL THE END, this is one of the things that dean wants to clear the air on. he knows that this hurt sam, and he is still thinking about it. it haunts him. which means he also never told sam the truth, himself.

if he comes back, and sam is furious like "hey man, why did you run off?" dean just grins and accepts it and either goes along with the lie or dodges the question. sam's disapproval and pain are part of the punishment.

it also has fun implications for stanford, because what is "if you walk out that door, don't you ever come back" if not "sending away"? while i'm sure the words were spoken in anger and pain (as seen by dean in S4), john's control has always been absences and exiles and that stays true here. he is able to control both sam AND dean through sam's exile, because now dean can only depend on john, and sam completely cut off from everything he has ever known. it's a punishment for leaving, and a last minute (effective) method of controlling his departure. sam doesn't have any agency over whether he can come back, or if he wants to keep contact with them. he turns sam's act of agency into a punishment.

(not to mention, it's all very biblical in the michael & lucifer-ity of it all. the good son is exiled and proves his worth, being ultimately accepted into the fold. while the bad son is cast off for disobedience, and the good son accepts his exile and turns away from his brother. the father becomes absent. god and john are both more powerful in their absence, and the resulting power vaccuum is still about god, even when he's not there. who is most loyal? who is right? does this man/being deserve our loyalty? if he hurt us sometimes, does that make him bad? was he ever good? should we lie to ourselves and say an unequivocal yes, anyway? because if we tell the naked, scary truth, that means that we hurt each other for no reason, and will keep choosing to do so. because that's what he taught us to do.)

all this to day, THE IMPLICATIONS! THEY ARE RUNNING AROUND IN MY BRAIN! this scene is SO fascinating to me because it reveals an interesting new facet of their relationship to john and each other. do i think some of john's control was exerted as an act of love for his sons during some pretty intense extenuating circumstances? yes. do i also think that things like this were an insane power play meant as a punishment because john was an angry man? also yes.

(i didn't even get into the "you practically raised me" and "you were the one that was always there for me. the only one." which are also INSANE and i'm eating those words rapidly.)

thank you for this ask, lol!! it was so nice to see! i'm so lucky i have folks who love to scream and shout w me about these fellas! i hope my thoughts made at least a little sense. i am stirring this scene in my brainrot cauldron rn.

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

So I had a thought to make an AU off your es/ls AU! And my thought was what if the early season Sam and Dean that visit late season Sam and Dean were from different timelines? In that everything is the same except for the boys relationship!

For example the es!boys got together when Sam was about 17. But he still ends up leaving for Stanford. And then they rekindle at some point in S1.

However the ls!boys are living in a timeline where it’s NEVER happened. They’ve just been in a state of weirdcest a la the show, this whole time.

And so instead of ls!brothers working to hide it from their younger selves, it’s something they stumble upon instead and hoooo boy does it cause problems. The es!boys don’t try and hide it beyond how they normally function bc at first they all think they are from the exact same timeline. So they aren’t worried about ls!boys seeing them they just are used to keeping it close.

I imagine ls Sam and Dean finding out separately and they don’t tell each other at first bc they’re freaking out. Something they’ve never done but these two have and what does that MEAN!? The repression was strong with them both and now the foundation has cracked and suddenly there’s this bubbling tension between them again, just like when they were teens, before Sam left.

Finally Sam admits he has to discuss it with Dean bc this means that they are NOT their past selves. They are from a divergent reality that is otherwise is very similar. And sooooo they aren’t only time traveling they are reality traveling and oh lord that must be harder to fix!

And discuss!! :D

GASP your MIND!!!!!!

let's discuss!

"hey guys, i--" sam slams the door closed. holy shit. holy shit.

he had opened the door to their younger selves' shared room, and sam was--on top, of dean. on top of him. and they were--they were--

the door cracks open. sam stands there, looking embarrassed.

"hey. sorry." he snorts. "you know how it is."

"no, i do NOT!" sam says, flinching when he realizes his voice is almost a shout. he lowers his voice, checking around the hallway. luckily, he's the only person there. "i do not." he repeats.

younger sam blinks at him.

"you...don't?" his jaw sets, and his eyes narrow. "did he...leave us? is there someone else? what did we do?"

sam balks.

what a little asshole. first, younger sam makes out with his brother and--and--blames older sam for not actively kissing his own?? what the fuck? sam's the problem? what a dick.

but honestly...fair. if anyone was going to mess it up, it would be sam.

~~~

dean hauls his younger self off of sam bodily, dragging him into the hallway and shoving him against cinderblock.

"okay what the fuck--" he starts to shout, but younger sam runs out into the hallway after them. dean thinks he's coming to get his own licks in, but sam is clawing at dean's hands, trying to get him off of dean's younger self.

dean thought he had just walked in on violation, but sam is cooing over dean and checking over him and...and--

"sammy, i'm okay." younger dean pants. "let him say what he needs to say, okay? i'll be fine."

sam backs up slowly, unwillingly, and steps back inside. dean immediately turns back to older dean, eyes wide.

"did he leave us? is there someone else? what did we do?"

dean gapes. what a fucking dick.

why did dean have to be the one to mess it up? first, the guy kisses his own brother and blames dean for not also kissing his brother? dick!

but honestly...fair. dean would be the one to mess it up.

~~~~

your idea is so JUICY because here are LS!Sam&Dean trying not to say anything to each other because what if they're grossed out? what if they think it's wrong? what if--worst possible scenario--they try to separate ES!Sam&Dean. LS!Sam and LS!Dean saw the looks in their eyes. those kids are gone and the adoration is so naked that it hurts to look at. they want it so damn bad.

so they don't say anything.

but at the same time, it eats them alive.

they want to know. they need to know.

LS!Dean corners ES!Dean in the weapons room and asks, "when did it start? who made the first move? who tops? what did it change? how long have you known?"

(to which the answers are: after dad died, sam, we switch, not a damn thing but everything for the better, and as long as you have.)

LS!Sam builds up his courage all afternoon (because it's not his business. but he wants to know. but it's invasive. but it's himself! but what if this messes up the timeline?) but finally leans across the table and asks, quietly, "how did you know it was mutual? how did you get over the...you know? why'd you start? who tops?"

(to which the answers are: as soon as he kissed me back and not a second before, incest? it's less of a big deal than i thought it was, honestly, i kissed him because i couldn't live another second without knowing what it was like (since he died. since we almost lost him. since he almost died in the car we were raised in. the only home we have.), and really dude? both.)

but finally, and especially if someone else is pitching in to help them solve it, LS!SamandDean have to reluctantly admit that they know certain aspects of their lives have changed.

something big. something about them, and their dynamic.

and now--they can barely look at each other in the eye!!! because every time dean looks at sam, he can only see the way his brows furrow when he's being kissed, like it hurts.

when LS!Sam looks at LS!Dean, he wants to know what his mouth tastes like, and he can only imagine what thing made ES!Dean fall in love with ES!Sam. it's easy to see why ES!Sam would fall in love with ES!Dean. he's charismatic and protective and dean. it makes sense. but ES!Sam??

and LS!Dean looks back at their lives and wonders how different it would be if things were different. if...they were different. did sam ever want to kiss him? why doesn't that disgust him?

but when it comes out, they can only blink at each other because they know!!!!

there's the immediate instinct to suggest they should give them separate rooms--just so it looks normal to the other LS!Brother, to show that they, too, are grossed out by it--but how can they?? how can they look into ES!Dean's eyes and tell him, before hell and michael and being a demon, that he can't be happy?? how can they tell ES!Sam, who's already struggling with fears of corruption and months away from being stabbed to death in a ghost town, that he has to die alone??

it's so fucked, and STILL!!!! LS!Boys step around each other awkwardly and avoid eye contact and dream about the shape of their brother's mouth!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!!

~~~~

GAHHHHHHH your brain is INSANE!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!!!! rotating this concept in my brain like a microwave. i'm OBSESSED!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!!! <3

-lizzy

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Best RPF Ship - Round 4 Match 8

[according2thelore]

Hi hi hi. I was rereading through everything that you’ve shared with the es/ls verse (bc why not!?) and I had a thought and I wanted to share bc it’s a very typical me consideration about time travel and I wanted to know if you’ve marinated on it?

So es!boys are not together yet, right? But ls!boys are. So is there an inevitable conversation between late season Dean and Sam’s about not pursuing anything with early-season boys so as to not steal first times?

Because I can kind of hear Sammy be like look Dean, we don’t know if they’re going to keep all of these memories and experiences when we send them back, we don’t know how to send them back yet and this more than anything could change everything!!

If those firsts are given up when es boys are so much younger, and then to possibly even ls version and not each other, will that fuck over the timeline?

And then finally late season Sam and Dean kind of acknowledge that it’s not even the timeline worry that makes them talk about this so much as the jealousy aspect of, these were things that were ours and Dean especially would want to guard and protect that as much possible. Though he kind of has resentment and dislike for his younger self, I don’t think he would dare steal it from him either.

And so at this point, I can see that adding like this immense extra level of tension for the ls!boys, because early season Dean especially won’t give a fuck. Maybe the only argument that would sway him is like the idea of early-season Sam, losing out on the firsts he was supposed to have?? Maybe.

So at some point, it’s like literally a boiler room ready to explode with tension between the four of them and I just like that idea a lot.

Anything like that gone through your head or have you been letting that be the problem for even further in the future boys? Lol.

hi!!!!

omg!!! our minds! the last few posts deal with this exact theme, but i haven't really laid it out. so lets roll out a blanket and lay! this! thing! out!

FOR SURE!!! because while LS!Sam&Dean are very much together, ES!Sam&Dean are not! they haven't had those experiences, they haven't had those moments or those talks or--frankly--that sex.

so while kissing dean is an everyday activity for LS!Sam, he has to consciously catch himself before he kisses ES!Dean good morning, because that poor boy is not used to that!

i actually think LS!Dean would be the first to bring this up out loud (despite his aggravation w his younger self) because he's very conscious of how protective he is of their relationship. i'm sure he just comes out and says it, a "we can't do anything with them." and while LS!Sam agrees, and has already been operating on this rule, he's still gotta throw out the hypotheticals, like maybe they won't even remember this. i knew i was in love with you when i was that young. they already know we're like this, so further damage can even be done? our existence in their lives has altered the future. if they already know this is inevitable--

and LS!Dean very firmly says, "april 19th, 2009. detroit. in that motel with all the hubcaps on the walls. that's when--that's when it happened for me. so."

and before LS!Sam can interrupt (because he absolutely is going to interrupt, holy shit?? the date?? sam remembers the night itself, but dean clearly has marked this out in a calendar in his mind.), dean keeps going, "that date is important to me, so his is going to be important to him. it's probably not going to be in 2009 anymore, given what they know now, but his sam should be the first sam he kisses. it'll...i mean, fuck. it has to be his sam."

it makes sense to me that LS!Dean's consideration of it is primarily emotional/instinctual (this first was important and it was mine), while LS!Sam's protestations are logistical/practical (we can't do this because of the implications for the future, for how this will impact the timeline of our lives). (LS!Dean can of course see the practical, and LS!Sam is NOT immune to ES!Sam watching LS!Dean w hungry, possessive eyes and getting pissed; but primarily, they rationalize differently)

and of course LS!Sam has already implicitly agreed with this, but they make an official Thing about it--no stealing firsts. kisses, fucks, hand jobs, hell, even overlong hugs. none of it.

because even speaking in terms of life events, LS!Dean is 100% sure that he WILL kill himself if he and sam are a thing when sam dies at cold oak. and now that sam thinks about it, if he and dean were together when dean was ripped apart by hellhounds, it would have ruined him beyond recovery. he would've been a shell of a person, carrion for birds.

they don't want to be the thing tipping them over the edge in any concrete way, because if ES!Sam&Dean get together now, they're together through all of it. and that has the real potential to be deadly.

you are incredibly correct about this just adding to the powder keg. because they all want each other so badly! we've established ES!Dean is a yearn machine, and even if he understands, it doesn't make it easier. he needs to be ES!Sam's first only a little more than he wants to choke on LS!Sam's dick until he passes out.

i'm sure LS!Dean has to pull ES!Dean aside like, hey, i will kiss your sam and be the first dean he touches and that's a fucking wake up call. ES!Dean understands the stakes immediately.

so we've got a pin-less grenade of tension sitting between all four of them, and none of them are going to jump on it. it'll kill all of them, or it won't go off, and those are the only two possibilities.

because knowing and wanting are two different things, and they want.

it's a constant tug-of-war of leaning too close, knowing you're doing it, and forcing yourself back. it's a sustained inhale with no exhale, just pressure in your lungs building and building and building.

and i think more than anything this is difficult for the LS!boys because they're literally looking at these younger versions of each other, versions that they loved and can't have, boys they had daydreams and nightmares and sex dreams about. and catching yourself in the reflex of doing something is harder when--finally being allowed to--loving your brother is habit.

the tension and pressure must be torture! but they're also so possessive/crazy about each other that it makes sense they want to protect the divinity/religiosity of their first moments--this is the most rational course of events, despite the fact that they're frothing at the mouth.

yours was so much more eloquently explained and written, and i agree with you 100%! this ask was awesome! i have thought about this so much!

thank you sm for marinating on this w me! we are well-seasoned, i believe. ;)

i loved this ask--thank you again! you picked up on that tension/potential immediately--in awe of your humongous brain!

kissing you on both cheeks! mwah!

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

keep goinngggggggg!!! just sitting here reading your snippets of the early and late season interactions and loving the goodness. ty for sharing bc the brainstorming sessions are amazing.

hi!!!!!

AGH! i'm so glad you've been enjoying! :) i wrote a little snippet, i hope you enjoy~!

sam scowls at the mirror. yeah, this is definitely not his shirt. it looks like something he would wear, but the sleeves are way too big, and the shirt drapes off of his torso like a kid playing dress-up in dad's closet.

sam picks at the fabric, suddenly too annoyed for words. it's his, isn't it? figures they'd both have the same taste in clothes. at least one thing in this goddamn world isn't unrecognizable.

sam shucks the shirt over his head, quickly grabbing another shirt from the pile--one of dean's old shirts, a faded metallica tee--and pulling it on.

he opens the door to the bedroom, and looks up and down the labyrinthian hallway. did every single one have to look identical? sam tries to remember what older dean had told him the night before.

(okay, so from your bedroom, it's a left, left, then right to the kitchen. two wrongs make a right. i'll be there if i'm not in the garage most days, probably. in case you were wondering. from here to the library, it's a right, left, then two rights. if you see a death ray, you've gone too far.

a death ray? sam interrupted, sharply. the older version of his brother waved his hand, and made a pshaw noise.

it's not actually a death ray. just looks like one. picture a death ray in your head? that's what it looks like. big ugly thing, probably gave scooby a headache in his day.)

sam takes a right, left, then two rights. sure enough, sam is sitting at the table in the library. well, 'sammy.'

after the fifth time of dean--sam's dean, the 2006 one--said "sam?" in a frantic tone, and both sams jumped up to calm him down, they had to come up with a system.

the older dean immediately pointed at 2006 sam and said, "sammy." with a happy smile. sam protested a-fucking-lot. sammy was for a fat little kid with a pinwheel hat. sam was sam. the older version of sam sighed heavily, like sam even being here was beleaguering.

"i can be sammy," he said, "even though i'm thirty-six. he's not going to agree to it." he nodded at sam like he knew him at all, and sam still kind of hates him for it. he didn't hate the guy at first--i mean, come on, a chance to meet his future self--untapped potential! sam had so many questions. but so far...sammy's been a disappointment.

"hey," sam calls now, and sammy's head pops up over his research.

sammy checks his watch, "shift change already?"

they had been doing research in shifts on how to take 2006 sam and dean back, to no result yet. sam shakes his head, and holds up the offending shirt.

"no, mixed laundry." he tosses it at sammy, who catches it with a fluid movement. sam eyes sammy with a wary eye.

how did they get so good at everything? sam feels unfairly trapped in the "before" picture of a healthcare ad.

"oh," sammy says, folding the shirt with his massive bear-paw hands. "sorry about that."

"anything?" sam asks, nodding at the books. sammy shrugs, rubbing a hand at his temple.

"not yet--" he starts, but someone knocks at the doorframe.

both sams turn to look. dean--sam's dean--is standing there awkwardly, shuffling on his feet.

"what's going on in here?" dean asks, hesitant. his arms cross over his chest, and his words sound like, what did you do, sam? what did you say this time?

sam doesn't know when dean--his dean--stopped being on his side, but he hates him for it. sam looks back at his older self. dean's so defensive over him, even though the guy can clearly take care of himself. older sam tucks a strand behind his ear and also crosses his arms, two huge barrels on either side like a goddamn white water raft or something. he looks only amused, a soft look on his face like he's observing two puppies trip over a ball.

sam hates that, too. that sammy always acts like he knows exactly what's going on in sam's head--every ugly, hideous thing. and worse, he's all condescending about it--holier than thou about it. i know what you're thinking, and it's cute. your animosity is as adorable and non-threatening as a puppy nibbling on my ankle. sam scowls.

sammy's eyes slide over sam's shoulder, to dean. sam tries to straighten his spine so sammy can't see over him, but sammy's smile is just as soft and knowing.

sam looks behind him, helpless to it. dean is flushed, eyes firmly on a bookshelf in the corner like he's leaning on the doorway for no reason at all, like he just happened to be there and forgot they were in the room.

that might be the absolutely worst goddamn thing about this whole situation.

"not a damn thing." he says, but he means, where did you go, dean? why do you love this guy so much? how the fuck am i supposed to be this golden-idol-version of myself to you?

sam wants to turn around and tell himself (god, he'd never get used to that), stay away from him. he's not yours. back the fuck off.

but he won't. and he doesn't. he shoulders past dean, feels the heat of his skin, and back into the hallway.

older dean is probably around here somewhere. sam looks up and down the empty hallway. kitchen. definitely kitchen. guy makes a mean burger. that's the only reason sam's seeking him out right now.

the only reason at all.

anywhoooo...hope you enjoyed! :)

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

I love me the es/ls verse but want to switch it up!!

💭

Would love to hear about this verse. Amnesia fic holds a special place in my heart.

hello!!!

i (kind of) cheated, so here are seven (a number very close to five if you really think about it) sentences of my StanfordEra!Dean amnesia fic!

“Dean.” Someone says, loud and breathless. Dean turns around. There’s a kid standing there, looking at Dean, then at the girl. He’s tall—Dean doesn’t often have to tilt his head up to look at people, but he does for this guy—with shaggy brown hair and wide eyes. Dean looks at the blonde girl next to him. She must be his girlfriend.

“Sweetheart,” Dean says, and she turns to look at him. “You are way out of this guy’s league.”

thank you so much for this ask!!!! i'm very excited to write it, lol!

-lizzy

(from this ask game here!)

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

(via quietdiscerning, deanlover)

I think this is from the S1 day in the life of Jared and Jensen…He’s in his trailer playing with knives.

If not S1 then early season bts content for sure.

[according2thelore]

📝pssst Lizzy I saw that you listed the AOS in some of your favorite movies! I loved them too but it seems like that fandom was kind of a flash in the pan. I miss it!

I have a deep abiding love for Kirk/McCoy from the reboot but only in the reboot! I agree Kirk/Spock is the choice for the original series. Something about Pine and Urban’s chemistry. They were so good together!

No worries if you’ve never really hopped into fandom for this and just enjoy the movies but if you do, do you have a ship there?

hello!! <3

the AOS fandom in it's heyday was FANTASTIC!!! i discuss this lower down, lol!

for those unfamiliar with star trek, the original 60s TV show ("the original series"/TOS) and the movies with chris pine ("the alternate original series"/AOS) are based on the same characters, while other "generations"/shows/iterations (like "the next generation" with picard, etc.) have different crews and ships (literal physical spaceships).

the whole movie series (AOS) wasn't "oh let's make TOS again," it was "what would TOS look like if one detail was changed," and this detail was the premature death of kirk's father (played by a pre-fame chris hemsworth, which is pretty fun!). by changing this, the whole thing shifts, and the trajectory of the lives of all of the characters changes pretty dramatically. it's quite literally an AU fanfic!!!! which is SUCH a fun concept i wish more reboots did!!!

i LOVE the AOS for so many reasons, but i think i kind of fall into the "love what it almost was/could've been" rather than strictly "what is on screen/what it is"

one of the main reasons i love AOS so much (particularly "into darkness") is its thematic shift from the TOS.

it makes sense why kirk would be on tarsus iv after the death of his father, it makes sense that spock has a bit of an identity crisis after the death of his mother, it makes sense that bones is so jaded after his divorce moved his daughter away, it's just delicious!

while one of the main incredible things about TOS was its earnestness and ownership of its hamminess (or shall i say, camp), i think some of it was to the disservice of its characters.

finding out about tarsus and the tarsus nine during a full-out shakespeare production? and it never really being mentioned again? strange. like...they fully had to eat people to survive (or if not, they had to do other impossible frightening tasks)...and kirk was a CHILD fighting to protect other CHILDREN. also SAM DIES? and kirk never really talks about him again after that.

so the AOS engaging more with the characters being scarred/traumatized was fun as an angst, H/C, and whump lover, lol!

i (unfortunately or fortunately, depends on who you are) am a spock/kirk diehard truther. any version of these characters are deeply in love/intwined in my head!

i particularly enjoyed pine's/quinto's chemistry (not to mention the fact they always talk like they're trying to smell what mouthwash the other used that morning)

while i tend to shy away from enemies/lovers (just not my particular cup of tea, usually), i think it's really fun that they explicitly placed them as adversaries that have to earn each other's respect and trust.

i think the closest we get to canon spock & kirk & bones dynamic is ST:ID, which is why it's my favourite. kirk is like "yes <3 i will break the rules <3" and spock says "...i'm calling the police" and bones says "i am breaking his phone in half bc we HAVE to break the rules here, jackass"

and i personally think it's so fun that they changed the death of spock to the death of kirk in ST:ID, and then proceeded to have spock try to beat a man to death with his bare hands--an act of grief and self-harm and revenge, given what we know about vulcan hands.

(also, while kirk is dying, "you had to know why i went back for you" and the ta'al kiss through the glass???? launch me into the SUN!!!!!!!!)

(small note, but i also think it's so interesting the default emotion for TOS spock is anguish (when it's forced upon him), but the default emotion for AOS spock is fury...like yes...tell me more, thematically...)

it's SO true that karl urban just has INSANE chemistry with all of his castmates. the spock & bones corporate bonding retreat in ST: Beyond was delightful start to finish.

urban's mccoy is one for the HISTORY books, truly! grumpy and loveable and dickish. i want to kiss him on the mouth; who said that?? that was weird. anyway,

the entire cast was just FANTASTIC. i especially adore zoe saldana as nyota uhura. john cho and anton yelchin were incredible choices for sulu and chekov, and simon pegg as scott was INSPIRED. even relatively background characters like winona rider as amanda greyson, indeed!! yes!! thank you!!

are there issues with the AOS? OH YES. YES INDEED. but the potential was there and fun and campy and angsty and i shovel it with a spoon into my greedy little writer hands. this movie series was like if they caught lightning in a bottle and then got scared that they did something so awesome and gently placed it on the ground (wow i guess i have a media type...spn is just...that as well...). it was still incredible, but i wanted more!

i deeply adore bones & kirk as best friends, and think their dynamic in the AOS is so inherently relatable and tender. i can definitely understand and respect your shipping of them! like...oh my god...they were roommates...(and also will do anything for each other, and have a deep, abiding respect and care for each other that is not akin to any other relationship they have)

i mentioned this once briefly a bit ago, but i have another account where i write all of my non-spn fanfic, and have a pretty well-loved AOS spirk fic over there. (some of the people in my real life follow that account and it'll change my life for the worse if they find our wincest blog, unfortunately.) i've been occasionally opening another spirk fic i've been working on laboriously for a year to lovingly look at the screen before being hit with another psychic blast of These Brothers That Want To Kiss and end up writing a hanahaki fic instead, lol!

some of the best fanfiction i have ever read--period!--comes from the AOS and the incredible writers there. these fics are spirk, so if that's not your particular cup of tea, i totally get it! but i thought i'd recommend some anyway for stray spock/kirk fans wandering through here!

shine like the sun --> imo THEEE AOS spirk fanfic; spock gets amnesia and the last thing he remembers is turning kirk in for the kobayashi maru

anything --> morally dubious spock tries to find comfort after kirk dies!!! yes!!!!

the bond --> A CLASSIC!!!! spock gets amnesia and assumes he and kirk are together...kirk doesn't correct him

please don't touch the vulcans --> christmas! and tarsus! yummy!

the Proposal AU one!!!

(if you want more of these PLEASE ask i have SO many recommendations, lol!)

i am so sorry!! this was so long!!!! THANK you for asking!! this was so long and i have no idea if i actually answered your question! i hope this was fun to read! (i spent like an hour responding and then editing my answers bc this was originally An Essay, haha!)

asking a girl about one of her hyperfixations will get her yapping (i once explained the entire series to charlotte on our kitchen floor at like 3 AM).

i am now going to go rewatch ST:ID, lol! <3

-lizzy

[according2thelore]

Oh hai! Thanks to the rec event going on I read your ABO Swesson fic and I have to tell you two VERY important things.

1) I never read ABO fics.

2) I ridiculously adored this fic!

It was such a refreshing switch of those dynamics, Sam was adorable and Dean was an excellent blend of the Smith we saw on the show and our Dean.

It was sososososo good. I wanted you to know how much I loved it!!

I doubt you are planning on it but can’t help but put it out into the ether that I think it would be an excellent follow up to see them get to the point of the mating claim.

If you ever felt so inclined!! Muah! 😘

Hope you had a fabulous Thursday!

hello! :)

EEP thank you so much!!!! i had no idea someone recced my swesson a/b/o--how exciting! i'm so glad you liked it!

i'm so honoured you don't usually read omegaverse but liked my lil spin on it! i know personally i LOVED writing it! and i loved seeing charlotte's face change as she proof-read it, lol (now that i think about it, it was a bit intense for baby's first omegaverse)

and wow what a compliment!!!! one of my biggest worries as an author is that my characterization comes off a little strange or OOC, so this ask made me smile so big--thank you! :)

i AM planning a sequel right now, actually! i have a couple of events i'm participating in now, but know that the swesson pt. 2 is on the horizon! i think it'll follow them through dating and getting up to the point of claiming, as well as potential mpreg (but the breeding kink will definitely be there regardless, lol, as evidenced by the fic itself!)

omegaverse is very fun to read--and mating bites are fun--so i definitely couldn't leave them rest without a mating claim, don't worry!

i hope YOU have a fabulous thursday--thank you so much for this ask! mwah!! <3

-lizzy

(this is the link to the fic they're talking about, if you're interested!)