#admittedly some of this is not so much 'stuff i couldn't put in'

[luludeluluramblings]

Dick Grayson's Obsession with Smalltown!Reader

A/N: Why dialogue hard? Why so hard? Y'all I tried, once again. I saved Dick for last because I really really really did not want to screw up his character. I did end up adding a scene from Part Seven in here. Just to give it some pizzazz.

A/N: Part Eight is in the works, but it’s either gonna be massive or I’m going to have to divide it up. Also, people be posting so straight up fire in the Yandere Bat tags lately. Good stuff, I needed that.

Warnings: Yandere themes, physical affection.

Out of everyone, Dick was the most enthusiastic about Reader coming to Wayne manor, while also being the most melancholic. The tragedy of their arrival wasn't lost on him, despite the thrill he had over the thought of having another person to add to hi life. Already, the need and wanted to smoother them in comfort and care was there. But, the life experiences he had allowed him to realize it was probably best not to overwhelm them.

Therefore, it came out in short burst of staggering affection at times. But, only when he was visiting. (There was no denying the fact that he was extremely tempted to call them on the phone just to make sure they were settling in just fine. And, that he fought that temptation every single night.)

That didn't stop him from feeling some minor annoyance with Bruce for keeping the fact that they existed a secret. Dick had seen the affects of this life and even felt them, but to let the family nearly miss out on something so honeyed with normalcy was cruel. (It would have been preferred if they didn't have to lose their parents in order to join the rest of the family, but it was hard to think like with how busy his schedule was and soft they felt in his arms.)

Admittedly he may have latched on to them too hard in the beginning. They felt stiff the first time his arms wrapped around them. The guilt of it gurgled in his throat, which is why he cut it short and went about his business. But, he couldn't stop the urge to do so each time they crossed each other's paths in the manor halls.

And, much to his glee, they start to soften. Slowly, but surly, they start to cling to him a little longer when his arms wrap around them. They start to depend on him. For once the thought of someone so conventional depending on him as Dick rather than as Nightwing, because everyone seems to depend on him as Nightwing, doesn't fill him with anxiety. It makes his chest flutter in a different way. Not with anxious butterflies, but with a flicker of a warmth.

It's completely innocent, the way the craving starts. He has to talk himself out of rearranging his entire schedule to be around them. Especially after the kidnapping incident. But, the Rouge break out gives him plenty of work to distract himself, and more frequent chances to find them in the manor for a dose of his new source of comfort.

His feelings finally start to become clear when rather than holding him longer and tighter, they finally reach for him themselves.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

“And, how is my favorite person today?” Already Dick has his arms opened wide for you when you walk out of the kitchen. He always appears from the depths of the manor, before he wraps around you like a slow creeping vine blooming with all sorts of sentiments.

"Alfred was doing good last I saw." But, by now you've grown to appreciate the way the tendrils curl around your limbs and burrow themselves into you. A small grin forming on your face at the chance to finally have someone to talk to, even if he isn't consistent company.

"Alfred isn't my favorite person, and you know it." The banter between them enjoyable and the undertones of his words ignorable in your obliviousness. "But, seriously, how are you doing today? You look like you have something on your mind. If it is you can tell me, you know that right?" The concern pouring put of his lips, as his grip tightens.

He had seen you through the cameras and had overheard the longing phone calls. The fact that your birthday was coming up had crossed his mind, and the realization that this would be your first without your parents did register in his brain. (But, it would also be you first with them. With him.) Bringing it up to you seemed like a bad idea. But, he would still try to encourage you to spill your feelings to him.

"No, no. It's nothing I promise." Your reply was soft and dismissive. But, the dishonesty was noticeable in it still.

Dick's arms seemed to tighten around you as you spoke, as if he was trying to decode the root of your troubles from the way your heart was beating against his chest. Eventually, he does loosen his limbs around you.

As he looks down, you known and he knows you’re lying. For a moment you think he going to push. To try to choke the words out of your lungs with another tight squeeze. But, he doesn't. Instead he lets you breathe.

"Okay," is all he says.

No extra nor unnecessary words. No constant reassurance that he'll always be there for you. Just a single word and the room to breathe. Those other things have already been said. Multiple times, in fact.

It's this one instance where he lets you breath that somehow gives you lungs the air it needs to blurt out what's bothering you as he pulls away.

"I wanna go home." The words escape your lips when you finally exhale and reach for him. The words coarse. "I just really want to go home for a bit. I miss home. I miss my family. I just—“

Dick doesn't even let you get halfway before he's enveloping you again. A slight tremble in his hands as he sprouts around you once more.

This. This is what he's wanted. You coming to him with your raw feelings. And, he knows he's the first person you've said this to at all.

"How can I help you?" He asks instead of questioning the statement.

"Can you help me convince Bruce to let me go, please, Dick?” The tentative way you ask and look up at him has him caving immediately.

"Of course!" Perhaps it was a good thing you didn't grow up in Wayne manor. If Bruce hadn't spoiled you, he most definitely would have. "I'll bring it up to B as soon as he gets back."

"He's gone?" You hadn't been informed of him even leaving, but then again, you were hardly every informed about anything it seems.

"Yeah, work emergency. It wasn't a big deal, but he'll be back soon." Dick can sense the mild tone shift, but manages to shift it back to something more lighthearted. "I'll make sure to butter him up for you. I swear. Puppy-dog eyes and everything."

It works, because before he can even clutch you to his chest you already wrapped your arms around his torso and pulled yourself towards him. Just the way you hug him tells him how genuine this type of embrace is. This is how you hold people. And, now, this is how you hold him.

"Thank you, Dick. Thank you." Comes your muffled reply into his chest.

The way you nuzzle into him like that's where you belong, because that's where you do belong, and the way you say his name causes his heart to melt. And, his mind to slowly sinks into the puddle it became.

Dick could stay like this for hours, but you start to pull away after a solid minute.

"I should let you get going. I know you got a lot of stuff to do." Your words sound so hopeful and understanding as you him go. The way you look up at him like he is your hero just for this simple small thing is touching.

Inwardly, he curses. The criminals of Gotham. The criminals of Blüdhaven, the team, the family, his schedule. Everything. He curses it all for that moment, because he could be holding you to his chest longer and having you look up at him like that instead. But, he lets it pass. He manages to let it go just as you pull away.

"Yeah, I do. But, don't think I'm going to brush off helping my favorite person in the world." Plastering on a well practiced pretty smile as he speaks.

"So, that means you got somebody more important off world? I see how it is." You tease in return as you fall for the practiced charm.

"Maybe." Dick lets the banter easy his mind. In reality, even off this world, you're probably his favorite, still. It should scare him, but it doesn't. "I'll let you know how Bruce takes the request. But, I'm prepared to sneak you out of here if necessary."

"I'll get the spy music ready, just incase." Things are starting to look up, and it's nice to have someone in your corner in this massive estate.

"Mission Impossible theme?" His grin become less practiced at the thoughts of having an adventure with you.

"Nah, the Pink Panther one. Just for the shenanigans." Your own grin growing wider and wider.

"Now I want to sneak you out just for fun." And, he means it. Already mentally planning your trip back home with him escorting you. And, then you possibly coming and staying in Blüdhaven with him in his guest room. Just to get you out of the manor, of course. Clearly you need it.

He can't ignore the way his pocket keeps buzzing, though. Clearly the others are in the cave waiting for him. But, they can wait a bit longer, he thinks diving in for one last embrace.

As you wholeheartedly reciprocate, he can see one of the secret security camera out the corner of his eye and he can't stop the smug smile from forming on his face as his gives you one last squeeze in front of it.

With the way his phone stills, he can tell the rest of them saw. It's not his fault they're too scared of physical affection to actually hug you. But, it does give him a monopoly on it with you.

As he makes his way down to the Batcave there's a skip in his step and that smug smile is still on his face.

He makes sure to look at everyone's faces as he joins them. Soaking up their envy. All of that wasn't to make them jealous, but it's kind of nice to have.

"Was all that necessary, Grayson?" Damian being the first to break the silence by practically spitting the words out through his gritted teeth. Even with his perfect poster the tension coiling in his limbs is visible to the untrained eye.

"Someone's got to be the one to do it, little D. And, clearly, they needed it." Dick's tone was placating, but his smile wasn't. The way he stands in the center of the room reminiscent of an orchestra conductor.

"Don't use them as an excuse for your touch-starved tendencies, Dick." Barbara retorted, rolling in her chair towards another computer. She immediately began typing on it at a furious pace, clearly trying to distract herself.

"Low blow, Babs." He whistled in return. Everyone else seemed focused on giving him the silent treatment causing his grin to widen further. "I can't help that I'm a naturally-"

"I just texted Bruce about it." Duke suddenly says, looking up from his phone with a smug grin. He face had been blank before, but the way his eyes glanced up at Dick and the others when there heads jerk towards him showed off a hint of self-satisfaction.

"That's cheating." Childishly spills from Dick's mouth. This was suppose to be his favor to them. His. Not anyone else's.

"Bruce doesn't get text while in the Watchtower." Stephanie points out while uncurling from her seat, but the damage is done.

"Could we contact Father in the Watchtower?" Damian practically leaps from his seat and rushes to the Batcomputer where Tim sits. Alliances quickly being drawn up.

"He'd be pissed if we contacted him for something like this." Jason adds with a grin. He doesn't bother looking up from cleaning his guns, just not at all bothered by the prospect of pissing Bruce off.

"But, then message would be logged into the League data base." Comes Barbara's stern voice from her computer, her typing coming to a pause. Tim still keeps at whatever he was working on before Dick walked into the cave, but on the screen there is a flash of airline websites so it's fairly easy to conclude what his plan of persuasion is.

Cassandra watches the exchange reading the emotions through everyone's movements. Silently, she throws her bid in as well. Choosing to slide over to Stephanie and signing the making of a plan.

From there it spirals into an all out argument between each and every member of the family. Debating logistics and exchanging petty insults that seems to go on for hours. Hardly anything gets done while words are being thrown around like bullets.

In the back of his mind, Dick once again curses everyone and everything for ruining this for him. But, he reassures himself, the banter from earlier comes back to him.

It's a decent plan, he thinks. Sneaking Reader out of the manor. Convincing Bruce would be ideal, but it wouldn't be the first time he's broken the rules. And, it's for their happiness and well being. They need him. They asked him for his help. Not the other's. Not anyone else's. His. Bruce will understand.

Besides, it would be nice to see the Smalltown they grew up in. It sounds like a quaint little place. What could possibly be wrong with it?

[kitkatt0430]

Been in a Batfamily (in all it's fucked up drama) mood lately and thinking...

Jason gets into town, starts establishing his Red Hood persona, screwing with the Bats and taking over Crime Alley. He intends to use the new Robin to screw with Batman and manipulating Black Mask into reporting the new Red Hood back to the original. And as planned, Joker does not respond well to 'some upstart' using his old moniker.

Except when Joker breaks out of Arkham he can't help but be distracted by Batman and his shiny new Robin. (Has Joker been out while Tim's been Robin at this point? Let's say no for the sake of fanfic purposes.) Now Harley made Joker promise no more killing kids after what happened with the last Robin, made it clear that was a hard boundary for her and she'd leave him for good if he want after any more kids.

Of course, his promise that of course he wouldn't kill anymore kids was a total lie but it got Hartley to go all soft and agreeable for him again and that was what mattered. Besides, he doesn't want to kill this Robin. He wants to see what Batman sees in having child sidekick and take one for himself.

So Tim gets kidnapped by the Joker before Bruce can send the poor kid somewhere not Gotham for his safety. And Joke unmasks Tim because of course he does. And Harley sees how young Tim is and watches Mr. J start electrocuting the kid because surely the brainwashing'll stick if they fry his noggin' a bit first...

And Harley decides this is a boundary for her too. She can't be a part of this and even if it kills her, she's going to save this kid. She knows she can't do it on her own and her first thought is to go find Batman.

Of course, she quickly nixes this idea. Batman isn't ruthless enough and sure maybe he'll make it all the way through Joker's henchmen - admittedly as per usual - and rescue the kid. But then Mr. J will go back to Arkham and even though Harley doesn't want Joker dead... she also kinda wants him dead for this one. For using his promise to her not to kill kids as an excuse to torture children instead.

Next choice is Nightwing but he's out for the same reasons as Batman. Nightwing is somewhat more likely to kill the Joker and could live with it in the way Batman couldn't, but it's not a guarantee and Harley wants this kid to know that the guy who did this to him will never be able to do it ever again.

And then Harley remembers. Red Hood. Who definitely picked that name not as an homage but as a taunt. Who clearly hates the Joker and all he stands for. Who will... probably kill Harley, let's be honest, but she's not sure she wants to live without her Mr. J even as she's mentally planning out the man's death. So.

Harley makes an excuse to leave. Joker says something about mom doing the grocery shopping to the kid he's electrocuting and hands off a list of random stuff to Harley. She takes it and skedaddles. Heads all the way to Crime Alley. Stands outside it for a long moment. Thinks about the kid Joker's gotten his hands on. The way he screamed and cried and begged for Batman to come save him after the bravado of Robin quickly wore off.

She steps into Crime Alley. And then she does random acrobatics down the street, waiting for the Red Hood or his men to show up.

And they do. The Red Hood's henchmen are quick and efficient in grabbing her and presenting her to their boss. There's a gun in her face and she should be terrified and she is but...

She tells Red Hood about the kid. She drops the fake accent she put on for Joker and let's herself be, for just one last time, Harleen instead of Harley. The doctor who cares and not the killer Joker molded her into. "So kill me or whatever, I know I deserve it for believing Mr. J's lies again. But you have a code. You don't hurt kids. You don't kill kids. And maybe I'm asking too much, but I wasn't there and didn't save the last one. So I'm begging you to save this one."

Jason sees green. He has Harley take him to the Joker's hide out. He tears his way through the Joker's goons and doesn't hesitate to kill the Joker because he's too deep in the pit rage at the man who murdered him to care about his convoluted plans to try and force Bruce's hand, to make Batman finally kill Joker.

On the bright side, killing the Joker himself clears up some of Jason's lazarous pit related anger management issues. On the spot. The down side however is that Jason now has a traumatized Tim to deliver back to Batman - which he'd rather not, Batman cannot be trusted not to weaponize children - without being blamed for the state Tim's in.

He makes this Harley's problem - explain this to the Bats yourself, it's your punishment, Harley - and decides he needs a new plan to say 'screw you' to Batman with. He's gonna win over Robin 3.0 and get the kid to willingly abandon Batman to join the Red Hood Crew. How hard can it be, anyway?

Meanwhile Tim has absolutely figured out Jason is the Red Hood because he's absolutely connecting dots he should not be capable of connecting and formulating his own plan to try and lure Jason back home. Because why would Tim focus on healing from his own trauma when he could prioritize someone else's and compartmentalize the hell out of his own problems. Which is definitely the healthy thing to do and not at all going to bite him in the ass with depression and miscommunications down the line. (They all need so much therapy.)

So now the Joker's dead, Harley has delivered Tim safely back to Batman, (Ivy is about to get an unexpected visitor,) and the Bats are about to start playing four-d chess with each other to try and achieve various goals. Jason is trying to steal Tim from Bruce. Bruce thinks maybe saving Robin means the new Red Hood could be saved from himself after all. Tim is trying to lure Jason back to the manor for Alfred's cookies and oh is that a long overdue conversation with Bruce that is also sprung on him like a trap??? And Dick would just like to thank Red Hood but somehow winds up drunk confessing to the definitely-a-hallucination-of-Jason the whole didn't find out his little brother was dead until after the funeral when Dick got back from space thing and how he's so grateful to the Red Hood for saving this new kid who's just the neighbor's kid but also rapidly looking brother-shaped and why is he so bad at protecting the people he cares about???

(Jason rapidly going from 'drunk Dick is funny' to 'drunk Dick is clingy and cries and oh god he's getting emotions all over me make it stop')

[ameliathornromance]

Your heart thundered in your chest. Everything was a blur, tinged with redness. Redness from blood that dripped from your chin and onto the ground.

You couldn't clearly remember what had happened. It was a nice and sunny day. You had gone on one of your regular walks. Admittedly, today was a little different. 

Your Orc Boyfriend, amazing and wonderful as ever, had brought you back a necklace. He said he found it in a cave full of abandoned clothes and jewels. “Probably left by some bandits or something,” he’d explained. 

When you questioned the stolen item, he nonchalantly waved his hand. “That stuffs been abandoned for years. There was a thick layer of dust on the chest.”

With that in mind, you put on the necklace and hadn’t taken it off since. 

Now it was gone. Scratch marks on your neck from long fingernails were now rising on your skin, red and angry.

The camp was finally in sight. It gave you a burst of energy. Ignoring the pain, you took off into a run. No longer being able to hold back the tears, you released a wail when you entered the camp.

Your Orc was over with his fellows, eating some kind of meat. He dropped it at the sight of you, rushed over and caught you in his arms. “Love? What happened?” He asked, eyes darting all over your body, putting pressure on the gash on your forehead.

Other Orcs took off in search of the healer, while others crowded around you, bombarding you with questions: 

“Who did this to you?”

“They’ll pay for what they did, won’t they?”

“Yeah, of course. We’ll give them a real beating.”

“Everyone shut up!” hollered your Orc.

Once your wounds were tended to and you had calmed down, you and your Orc Boyfriend, along with his group of fellows, all sat in your shared tent, clutching a mug of warm tea in your hands. Since you were in a much calmer mindset now, the memories had come back to you.

“I went to the town, just over the hill.” You started. Instantly, some Orcs snorted and growled, “Fucking humans, always doing this kind of shit.”

“Silence!” Your Orc commanded. They fell silent as you continued.

“There were some noblewomen. They saw my necklace and told me to give it to them.” You gripped onto the mug. “When I said no, they told me I must have stolen it from some other noble woman that I worked for. And…” You fell silent as tears welled up in your eyes again.

The Orc stayed quiet as they watched your tears roll down your cheeks. Your Orc was so quiet you could have sworn that he’d left the tent. 

A loud clap caused you to jump. “Everyone out.” Your Orc said.

All the Orcs looked at him like he was mad. “What? You can’t just-”

“It’s my living quarters, everyone out!” He snapped.

Grumbling and casting disdained glances over their shoulders, all the Orcs left. Except for your boyfriend. He sank to his knees by the bedside, head face down to the sheets. “They will pay for this,” He growled.

He went to leave. To go, order his others to prepare for an attack on the village, to avenge you and restore his honour. But your hand grasped onto his. “Don’t go.” You pleaded. “I… I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Your Orc stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, down at you on the bed, he wondered how anyone could have tried to hurt you. He returned to his position beside you, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “They will pay for this.” Your Orc promised you.

“I don’t want to hear about that right now.” You said. “Please… just… don’t go.”

And he didn’t. When you’d finished your tea and curled up under the covers of your bed, he sat there until you closed your eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

From that night onwards, he vowed to never let you leave the camp alone. Lest something like this happen again. He would never allow harm to come to you ever again. If they wanted to hurt you, they would have to go through him and his kin first.

Revenge could wait. The softness of your breathing was more than enough to soothe his angry heart.

Patreon

[itsnothingofinterest]

This is probably a weird note to end my time with MHA's run on; but I find it so strange how I still see people calling Tomura out on just being a destruction-hungry villain with supposedly no plan or follow up...as though he is unique for that simplicity. Especially after the ending we got. Like, Deku and All Might never really had a plan when they were reshaping society by beating up the enemy and everything worked out fine for them, but does anyone call them out for just using violence to mindlessly solve everything with no further plan? (Well, yes. Me. Right now.)

Because like, really thinking about it; how different was All Might's plan from the start of his career to take down AFO and become a symbol, and Deku's plan to end the villains and bring everything back, from Shigaraki's plan to end hero society and bring about a world accommodating to the League? It all seemed to boil down to the same basic premise of Step 1) Beat everyone & everything making things worse, Step 2) ...it all just kind of works out from there. (I guess All Might planned on being inspiring and uplifting, but then we could also count Tomura's plan to be imposing and...uplifting but for different people. Deku was winging it every step of the way though.) Everyone's getting on Tomura's case for doing nothing but destroying; but all evidence from when the heroes do it suggests violence & destruction works. And it just never fails to bug me when people call Tomura out for stuff that's fine when heroes do it.

Which, yeah, let's touch on how it did just work out for Deku that way for no logical reason, least of all anything he planned. He punched out the big bad just like All Might and now things are like a hundred times better than they were under All Might with no more Tenkos abandoned in the street. If stuff like that just happens if you punch out your enemies hard enough, then why couldn't that happen for Tomura? Maybe if he had destroyed the government & hero society it would've, idk, been so fear/awe-inspiring that all the villains would've been nice and cooperative under the PLF and everything would've been fine. Or something. No more contrived than what we saw with the old lady plot line, MHA is just a series where that stuff works out. Heck, one time it actually did just work out that way for Tomura:

Again, violence and destruction works in MHA. I mean; duh, it's a shonen manga.

Plus all this is ignoring the fact that, unlike those two, Tomura did have a follow up to the violence. He did have a step two, or at least one & a half, after "beat down all the bad guys in the country." Rather than just going "and everything will work out from there," he had his guys plan for the future so he could say "and Spinner, Toga, and RD et. all will make sure everything works out from there." (Admittedly, not much; but also, not hopes and dreams.) He did have a plan, it was just the plan from the Overahul arc, where he was last asked to have a plan: leave it to his allies.

And hey, that means it's actually better than what we saw from genius All Might and brainiac Deku. So why are we still, even after everything was over, acting like there's some expectation as a villain he didn't meet? I guess it's just in the nature of a 'tantrum-having man-child who wants nothing but destruction' to put more forethought into the future he wants to build than the society-uplifting greatest heroes.

That or maybe everyone had really detailed follow-ups for when they won that Hori never went much into, but that'd render this post a bit pointless so shhh.

[celestialprincesse]

little baby ghost headcanons please.. id love to see your take on simon when he was a wee young thing. :')

Responding to this rq before I get back into studying but!! I have so many ideas!!

ᯓ★

Simon was definitely one of those really sweet and well meaning, but super awkward kids. His mum always had to encourage him to say hi and actually talk to people when they went out or had visitors over.

He was desperately obsessed with planes and the RAF growing up and saved up all his pocket money to buy little model spitfires, typhoons etc. For one of his birthdays, his mum even drove him down to the Duxford Imperial War Museum to see one of the air shows. It was one of the best days of his life.

Growing up, he was a really clever kid, but never really had any sort of passion for education, and whilst he excelled in sports, and other more hands on subjects like woodworking, he took absolutely no interest in the more content heavy classes.

When Tommy was born, Simon helped his mum put the furniture together, and even carved some (admittedly rudimentary) toys for his baby brother in his woodworking classes.

He was a total mama's boy growing up, and much preferred doing stuff with his mum, even down to running errands, than going out with kids his own age. If Mrs Riley was seen anywhere, Simon would probably be somewhere close by.

As a teenager, he got made fun of a lot for being quieter, and whilst all of his classmates were fixated on getting girlfriends and going out, he was much happier at home helping his mum or kicking a ball around with Tommy.

He had a real passion for music, especially late 60's/early 70's rock, and asked his mum for a guitar for one of his birthdays. She felt awful for the fact that she couldn't afford it, let alone lessons for him to learn how to play it, and so Simon got a job at the butchers to save up.

By the time he had enough cash for the guitar he actually wanted, he'd long gone off it and wanted to save up in order to buy a car or put it towards going to college.

ᯓ★

I came back to England yesterday & drove past Duxford (which was one of my favourite museums growing up) and it made me think that Simon was most definitely an RAF/military history nerd🥴

[luimagines]

Oh OH!

what about a contiuation of the ravio fake dating scenario where they finally get their second date or something? Just really fluffy.

Absitively posulutely!! You got it! More Ravio coming up!

Masterlist

Part 1

Content under the cut!

"I get to choose this time."

That's what he told you and then gave you no more information.

He didn't say how you should dress, what time he'd pick you up- even what day it would be! Who does that!?! This is supposed to be an agreed upon arrangement beforehand! What if you ended up booked when he eventually chose the date because he didn't give you enough time to plan your schedule. You have a job too you know!

It... may not be as impressive as the Queen's Advisor... Or running your own business... On second thought, maybe he was just busy. He is rather difficult to get in touch with when you're not face to face. Maybe you should have given him the benefit of the doubt.

Unless he forgot entirely.

Admittedly, that would hurt worse.

Even if weren't exactly close to begin with, you'd think that first date went great! Better than great actually. Maybe you're remembering it in splendor because Ravio threw a glass of gin at your ex's face without a second thought and you had danced with wild abandon and you kissed him-

Uh oh... had you scared him off?

No, you couldn't have. It was his idea to have a second date to begin with.

You rub your face harshly and figure you might as well head out for a walk. It's a nice day and maybe some fresh air will clear your head. Maybe you're thinking too much on this. Overthinking will only make the problem worse. You open your door with a sigh and step out of the house. You nearly scream when you look up.

Ravio's there.

At your door.

With his hand up to knock.

"Oh perfect!" He cries gleefully, holding up a basket. "You're ready to go already."

"I- what?" You blink and gasp when Ravio steps closer to you, hooking your arm in his and begin to lead you off.

"Let's go!"

"Ravio wait!" You dig your heels in and stall. "What do you think you're doing? You didn't send a letter- You didn't let me know anything- What if I was going to something else? You can't just steal me away!"

"Are you?" Ravio tilts his head, his dumb bunny hood getting in the way of reading his facial expressions.

You hesitate. "Well... no. But it's the principle of the thing!"

He seems to also hesitate. "...Ok... That's fair. But! I've heard through the grape vine that it's been a hard week at your job. I thought it would be nice if we took it easy for our next date."

"Wait- how did you know that?" You frown slightly. He was right, of course, but you didn't think your job would even be on his radar.

Somehow, you get the impression that he's blushing. "I went to your work place, hoping to talk to you. Which was a bad idea- I know. But a coworker was too busy to even get to me so I figured... Well, I had to do something."

You bite your lip. Realistically, you should be mad. This isn't how it should work. "You should have at least sent a letter or something. I would have liked to get ready for our date, you know?"

"Why? You're already perfect." Ravio takes your hand again and begin to lead you away. "This way!"

His words stun you, and you numbly follow him into a small trail into the woods. You recognize this place. He's taking you to the nearby lake.

"Just let me have this one indulgence." Ravio says as you brings you to the lake side. "I've always liked the idea of a surprise date. But for future reference, I will talk to you."

You gulp and nod. "Thank you."

Ravio lets you go and starts to set up a small blanket that he takes out of the basket. "This was a little harder than I anticipated to put together so forgive me it's not what you thought it would be."

He takes out the food from the party.

Or at least food that is similar to the food from the party. The fancy stuff. Gourmet, if you know what I mean.

"Ravio..." You sit on the blanket as you watch in wonder. "Where did you get this?"

"I have my connections." He flips off his hood and gives you a charming smile. "I remembered that you didn't get to try the party food. I thought that it was a wasted opportunity."

You already feel your mouth watering. "....This is already fancier than I thought?"

"A picnic by the lakeside?"

"Ravio, you brought lobster!"

"And I wouldn't change a thing!" He protests, opening up a container. "Here try the dessert first."

"Really?"

"Why not?"

[summer-princess]

Part of the Game (Alessia Russo x Leah Williamson)

Summary: Alessia's return to Manchester doesn't quite go to plan. In the aftermath, Leah takes her mind off of things.

Originally posted on my ao3 in October after *that * match, but I decided (for reasons unknown) to start posting some of my stuff here!

Disclaimer: obviously fiction

🔞 minors dni

Alessia was trying not to take it too personally.

It was just part of the game, she told herself. Just part of the game.

But that didn't make it any easier to hear the jeers and the insults from the same fans who were, this time last year, cheering her on.

Her former teammates had been beyond kind, and some of them had even approached her at halftime with frantic apologies on behalf of their fans. Ella had glared daggers at the section of the stands where the loudest jeers were coming from, and the sight of her best friend poised on the edge of violence on her behalf had, admittedly, cheered Alessia a bit. But now that she was back at the team hotel, the blonde forward couldn't stop hearing the fans' cruel chants echoing in her ears, over and over again.

With nothing to distract her from it, the roaring of the crowd brought an unwelcome moisture to Alessia's eyes and, wiping angrily at any stray tear that dared to attempt an escape, she resolved to settle in for the night. She would return to London in the morning and put this behind her.

Just as she was about to pull the covers over herself and start trying to get to sleep, a gentle knock at her door forced the Arsenal forward to rise from her bed. One hand still tucked in the front pocket of her sweatshirt, Alessia swung the door open to reveal her guest.

Leah hadn't traveled with the team, but she had made her way to Manchester to attend the match. While Beth was on the brink of her return, the same couldn't be said for her national teammate- Leah was still a good way off stepping back on the pitch for a competitive match, but just having the England captain around the squad brought a significant boost in morale.

Alessia wished that she didn't know why Leah was here, though, at her door. The older woman took one look at the former United player's red-rimmed eyes and, suspicions confirmed, gently nudged her way past her teammate and into Alessia's room, laying a hand on the younger's shoulder and rubbing it gently.

"Hi, Leah," whispered Alessia, immediately cursing herself for how small her voice sounded and hoping that Leah hadn't noticed the little tremble of her lower lip.

That proved to be a futile hope as Leah sat down on Alessia's bed, opening her arms for her national teammate. Joining England's captain on the mattress, Alessia allowed herself to be pulled into Leah's side. The little kiss pressed to the side of her head didn't surprise her as much as it once might have- since signing for Arsenal, the blonde forward had quickly become acquainted with the vast amount of physical affection shown between teammates, with random hugs from behind and lingering touches relatively constant. Besides, even though she was somewhat reluctant to admit it to herself, the merest brush of Leah's lips against her skin was enough to send a warm shiver through her whole body.

"I'm so sorry they treated you like that, Alessia. You didn't deserve any of that."

Alessia shrugged, shuffling closer to the older woman. Leah's words didn't erase the ache, but they did plaster over the worst of the cracks. Even though Leah was only two years older than she was, the defender somehow seemed far beyond her years, her soft comfort exactly what Alessia needed.

"Thanks, Leah," whispered Alessia, leaning into the feeling of Leah's hand gently rubbing her back.

Leah's back was pressed against the pillows of Alessia's bed, the younger woman tucked into her side, half-seated but just one motion away from being flat on her back. The older woman's lithe hand came up to brush a stray tear away and, as she did, her eyes locked on Alessia's watery ones. Something flashed across Leah's face, something that Alessia couldn't quite read. Whatever it was made Leah take her own bottom lip between her teeth and bite at it gently, gaze raking up and down the teammate in her arms.

Slowly, she leaned down, closer, and Alessia's breath froze in her lungs. If she didn't know any better, she would say that the way Leah's mouth opened indicated something like desire. But that was impossible- here she was, jumping to ridiculous and fantastical conclusions as her teammate was only trying to comfort.

Right?

The blonde defender's thin fingers traced up her cheeks, stroking the bones there, searching for something in Alessia's face as the younger woman stared back, wide-eyed.

Leah's face was less than an inch from her own, gazing into Alessia's astonished eyes as the younger woman's cheeks flushed, quite unable to believe that this was actually happening, that what she instinctively knew that Leah was thinking was what was truly running through the older woman's mind. There was no way, no way this was real.

But it was- once a little nod from Alessia at the older woman's raised eyebrow established her consent, Leah was leaning down and pressing her lips to Alessia's. The kiss was gentle at first, the blonde defender's mouth taking control of the embrace as she explored Alessia's mouth with her own.

The coil in Alessia's stomach, the muted desire she always felt whenever Leah was this close, tightened, causing her to press her thighs together without a thought. Leah spotted the movement with ease, even through the kiss, and Alessia could feel how the older woman's lips parted in an eager grin. Hands wandering as she continued to kiss Alessia, Leah sought out the waistband of the younger woman's shorts.

“Oh, sweetheart,” said Leah, cradling the younger blonde against her chest as her fingers slipped down the front of Alessia’s bottoms, splaying against her lower tummy as she awaited permission to take things further.

“Let me take your mind off everything?”

Alessia let out a low whine, nodding and melting into her captain's touch. She could feel Leah's confident smirk as the defender tilted her younger teammate's head up, pressing another kiss to her lips, still slightly parted from where Leah's mouth first made contact. Still gentle, Leah's lips were nevertheless insistent, leaving no question as to who was controlling the kiss.

Not that Alessia minded, of course.

Especially when Leah's fingers breached the barrier of her panties, a single finger sliding through the gathered desire at her entrance. A second finger brushed against Alessia's clit, the sensitive bundle of nerves responding immediately to her touch.

"Oh, Lessi," cooed Leah, trying and failing to conceal the way her voice dropped, breath catching in her throat, suddenly very dry.

"Is this all for me?

Alessia nodded, and the older blonde leaned down to give her another kiss, even as she wetted the tips of her fingers with the forward's own arousal, bringing them up to stroke firmly at her swollen clit. The bundle of nerves sang under her touch, the pads of Leah's fingers rubbing firmly at the sensitive spot and forcing Alessia's eyes closed for a moment as she acclimated to the pleasure of fingers that weren't her own.

“Leah,” whined Alessia, rocking her hips into the defender’s touch. Leah's fingers were long and slender, pressed together as they drew circles around her teammate's swollen clit. Alessia's teeth came down to bite her lower lip, trying to disguise the moans that Leah was extracting from her with borderline humiliating ease. Her cunt clenched around nothing, pleading for more in a way that her voice couldn't.

The fabric of Alessia's bottoms hampering her fingers, Leah lifted them momentarily away from the forward's clit and, ignoring the younger woman's whine of protest at the loss of contact, yanked down her shorts and panties in one fluid motion.

Flushing scarlet, Alessia dared a glance up at her captain, a fresh wave of arousal gathering at her core when she saw how dark Leah's eyes had gotten, the older woman's intense gaze locked on the spot between her thighs. When she saw Alessia looking at her, Leah leaned down to give her another bruising kiss, using her own lips to pry Alessia's mouth open, devouring the younger woman.

"Fuck," Leah moaned into Alessia's mouth.

"Fuck, Lessi, baby, you're so beautiful."

The blush coating Alessia's cheeks deepened from pink to red, the forward feeling suddenly shy under Leah's scrutiny. Sure, this wasn't the first time that Leah had seen her body- they had been national teammates for years. But to have Leah see her like this, tank top askew and revealing the muscles of her strong stomach, bottoms discarded on the floor and no way to hide the pool of arousal that was growing bigger with every passing second, and find her beautiful... Alessia was fairly certain that she was going to die.

Leah's fingers quickly found a new pattern, the fingers which had just been stroking her clit gripping the nub gently and beginning to tug at it. With every fresh wave of sensation she provided to Alessia, Leah was rewarded with the forward's sinful noises in her ears. Alessia sounded like an absolute dream- the younger woman was so responsive, so wound up for her, and Leah's heart swelled unexpectedly at how right it felt to be the one inflicting this pleasure on her.

"Can I use my fingers on you, baby? Can I put them in?"

Alessia moaned her agreement at Leah's sudden request and was rewarded with a kiss to her neck, the older woman's lips crossing the sensitive skin, letting just the barest hint of teeth scrape across the forward's pulse point. Permission granted, Leah didn't need a second invitation as she stroked Alessia's soaking hole with one finger, the others continuing to work against the younger woman's clit. The younger blonde's copious arousal coated Leah's digit, tracing the warm and wet entrance of Alessia's perfect body.

Alessia whimpered as Leah let the single finger slip inside her soaking cunt. The digit, thoroughly coated, moistened by Alessia's own juices, slipped easily in, and the forward's eyes slammed shut as Leah pressed deeper inside her. It was only one finger, and not a very thick one, but the sensation of having her national team captain sliding inside of her, claiming her pussy with her gentle touch, was enough to make Alessia clench down around Leah as the older woman's thumb continued tracing unidentifiable patterns on her throbbing clit.

Leah waited a moment before giving into the instinct to move her finger, giving Alessia time to adjust to the welcome intrusion. Then, she began to thrust, curling her fingers to try and reach the places that would bring the forward the most pleasure.

"Such a good girl," cooed Leah as she fucked her younger teammate. "Doin' so good for me."

As soon as she was sure that she could take it without pain, Leah slipped a second finger into Alessia's soaking pussy, holding back a low moan of her own as the younger woman's velvety walls pulled her in. The forward was tight, tighter than she'd expected her to be even after the first finger, and so Leah waited until the younger woman shifted her hips, trying to get more friction, before she started moving her fingers gently in and out again. The gentle scrape of Leah's long digits against Alessia's walls made the forward whine loudly.

"Mmm," chuckled Leah. "You like my fingers inside of you, honey?"

Leah's voice was smooth and sinful as the younger woman's eyes slammed closed, head shaking rapidly up and down in confirmation of the rhetorical question. The nod wasn't enough for Leah, though, as she whispered into Alessia's ear.

"Words, gorgeous," she cooed, and the prolonged moan that the demand drew from Alessia's mouth was almost enough to make Leah abandon any plans she had to be gentle with the younger woman and throw Alessia's legs over her shoulders and fuck her, hard, until she passed out from the pleasure.

"Fuck, Lee," whined the blonde forward. "Please, it feels so good!"

"What feels so good, baby girl?"

"Your fingers," sobbed Alessia, shifting her hips to try and get Leah deeper inside of her. Her answer, barely coherent, drew a satisfied smile from the older woman as she increased her pace.

"That's it, honey. Opening up so perfectly for me.

"Eyes open, doll," said Leah, dripping confidence as she worked her two fingers in and out of Alessia's soaked pussy. She was almost tempted, based on how well Alessia's walls were stretching to accommodate the more than welcome intrusion, to try and add a third finger before shaking her head at the idea- the moment she did that, the poor girl wouldn't be able to hold back, if the way her cunt was clenching was any indication.

God, the way Alessia made her want to leave her better angels by the wayside...

"I want to see your face. Want to watch how well you take my fingers."

The effort seemed Herculean to Alessia as she forced her eyes back open, gaze quickly locking on Leah as the older woman concentrated wholly on her pleasure, on driving anything cruel or sad from Alessia's mind and replacing it with the ecstasy of her touch.

Meeting Leah's eyes with the older woman's fingers buried deep inside of her, taking her apart, brought Alessia to another level entirely. Seeing the refreshed tears at the corners of the forward's eyes, Leah had to bite back her own noises of arousal, muffling them with Alessia's lips.

"Don't care what anyone says," hummed Leah into Alessia's neck as her lips moved up and down, leaving little marks on the sensitive skin that Alessia hoped would remain in the morning, talented fingers continuing their welcome assault on the younger woman's soaking core.

"You're so good. So talented. So pretty and sensitive and perfect. My good girl."

As Leah spoke, her fingers curling into the sensitive spot that made the forward see stars, Alessia's mind was sinking deeper into a haze of pleasure, Leah's hands on her rendering any other concerns vacant. Nothing mattered but Leah, England's captain methodically taking her to pieces.

The way Leah's low voice strung her phrases together made her want to cry again. My good girl, Leah was calling her. She hadn't expected to love the sound of those three words as much as she did, hadn't expected the thought of being Leah's to draw a high-pitched breath from her throat, a noise that was quickly swallowed by Leah's mouth returning to claim her lips once again.

She could feel the coil tightening impossibly further, begging to snap. Before she even knew what was happening, Alessia found herself teetering on the edge of orgasm, Leah's expert fingers and sinful voice working her higher and higher, clouding her brain, mouth wide open as she moaned.

“Do you need to come, baby? Hm?”

Alessia nodded desperately into Leah’s neck, the thought of her upcoming orgasm at her captain's hands sending a fresh wave of pleasure through the younger Arsenal player's body.

"Please, Leah," she whined, too out of her mind with desire to care who might be able to hear her desperate begging through the walls. "Please, I need it!"

At the younger blonde's pleading request, Leah sped up her thrusts, curling her fingers into the sensitive muscle and massaging it mercilessly while her strong thumb pressed hard on Alessia's swollen bundle of nerves. The forward was senseless with pleasure, the need to come consuming her every thought.

"Oh, sweetheart," cooed Leah, voice saccharine and coaxing and straight out of Alessia's most private fantasies. "Come for me, Lessi. Let go. Come for me, be a good girl for me."

The older woman's long fingers continued their movement while her thumb rubbed steadily across her swollen clit. Hearing Alessia's desperate moans, Leah dragged her teeth across the sensitive skin of the forward's lower jaw, and that was the last little bit of contact that Alessia needed to crash over the edge of the cliff, every muscle contracting and releasing as her orgasm overtook her.

“There we go,” cooed Leah softly as Alessia flooded her fingers with her orgasm. Capturing her cries of pleasure with another kiss, Leah continued fucking her gently. The younger woman's nails dug into Leah's shoulder as she clung to the other blonde, small half-moon indents pressed into the silken skin grounding the former United player to the bed beneath them. Alessia's sweaty head fell back onto the pillow as she gasped, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure still wracking her body.

She wasn't quite sure how long her orgasm lasted, only that Leah's fingers never paused their movements, wringing every ounce of Alessia's climax from her tired muscles.

"So perfect," soothed Leah as the waves ebbed, catching a gasp with her lips.

It took Alessia a moment to come back to herself, certain that if she tried to stand on her wobbling legs, it would send her tumbling to the floor. Seeing the younger woman shudder, Leah couldn't help but smile, a hint of smugness coating her lips, swollen from Alessia's kisses. The blonde forward looked so beautiful, so wrecked and perfect, and it was all Leah's own doing. Even though she was certain there would be a dark spot on her bottoms, Leah's own arousal was barely an afterthought for the defender.

For the younger Englishwoman, however, it was anything but.

As she slowly regained control of her muscles, the first thing Alessia did was reach tiredly towards Leah's waistband- even from her position, cradled between the pillow and the older woman's arms, she could tell that the defender was wet. That making Alessia come as hard as she ever had in her entire life, clearing her brain of any negative emotion and replacing it with pure pleasure, had certainly affected England's captain. Even as her hands connected with fabric, that realization sent a surging satisfaction through Alessia's prone form.

“Oh, no, no, sweetest,” whispered the defender into her younger teammate’s hair, taking Alessia's wandering hand in her own and giving the forward's knuckles a kiss. “Don’t you worry about me. You’re almost asleep already, you can show me what that pretty mouth can do another day.”

Alessia’s tired pussy spasmed in interest, sending a little shudder through her exhausted body, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Leah. The defender chuckled gently, brushing a lock of hair out of Alessia's eyes.

"You like the sound of that, don't you, darling? Like the sound of putting your tongue to good use and making me feel so good?"

Alessia nodded sleepily, puckering up her lips. Leah acquiesced to the silent request with a soft smile, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the younger woman's mouth.

"Wanna make you feel good," whined Alessia into Leah's mouth, drawing another fond chuckle from her national team captain's perfect lips.

"Don't worry, pretty girl," cooed Leah. "I'll let you show me how good you can be for me another day."

The younger woman was drifting, too close to sleep to properly express just how perfect that sounded, but the way she nuzzled closer to Leah conveyed the message well enough. Pulling the covers up over both of them, Leah dropped a gentle kiss to the top of Alessia's head, the younger woman practically cradled in her embrace.

Leah's hands stroking through her blonde hair, the echo of the older woman's praises repeating in her hears, drowning out the noise of the unfriendly crowd, guided Alessia to sleep.

[helloalycia]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐍𝐀𝐌-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐘

summary: it was only supposed to be a summer job, and yet it became so much more when you met the girl you'd soon fall in love with.

warning/s: none.

author's note: okay so being ill recently has delayed me getting this out lol, my bad. Either way, it’s finally here and will have a few parts. It’s an au so Alycia isn’t famous in this, but yeah! hope you like it! :)

just to note: Y/S/N = your sister's name and Y/M/N = your mum's name

two / three / four / five/ masterlist / wattpad

Prologue Part One...

"I want to congratulate you all, once again, on getting this job. Hopefully you'll enjoy this summer as much as we all do!"

I squinted my eyes as I looked at my employer giving a longwinded speech about how myself and a bunch of other 17-year-olds got the job to work as camp counsellors at a summer camp.

"Before you go, I want to remind you that your emails should have all of the relevant information regarding your buddy. This should help you both settle in nicely and make friends. After all, a happy team is good for the kids."

My employer, Mr. Fox, smiled at the group of us as we all waited impatiently to get on the coach already.

As if reading our minds, the coach driver approached him and mumbled something to him, making him straighten up and nod. The coach driver headed back to the coach, getting in, as Mr. Fox cleared his throat.

"Okay, you should all get going now, but remember to have fun! This is more than just a job, it's an experience!"

He looked out at us all, as if expecting some sort of reaction, but everyone stayed staring at him until he waved us away. I followed the group of teens onto the coach, taking a seat in the middle by the window since I was one of the first few on.

I didn't really know anybody, at least I didn't think I did. The job came up as an opportunity advertised at school and I applied because I needed the money before I headed off to university. My friends didn't want to do it with me which meant I was alone, but I tried not to worry about it too much. Making friends wasn't impossible.

As I put my seatbelt on and got comfortable, a pretty girl stopped by my seat and looked down questioningly.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked, and I noticed she had an accent that I couldn't quite pinpoint just yet.

"No, go for it," I said with a small smile.

She flashed me an easygoing smile in return, before putting her backpack up top and taking a seat beside me. Admittedly, I grew a little nervous as I realised there and then that it had been a long time since I'd had to make friends with someone, and I couldn't for the life of me remember how to make conversation.

"So what's your name?" she asked, taking the lead (to my relief).

"Y/N," I said with a nod. "Y/N Y/L/N."

"Y/N," she repeated, and I still couldn't figure out where she was from – Australia, maybe? Or New Zealand? I could never tell the difference – but it sounded pretty cool. "Nice to meet you, Y/N... wait, I think we're buddies! Hold on..."

She pulled out her phone and began to scroll through a bunch of stuff before nodding in agreement and showing me her email.

"Right there. Y/N Y/L/N." She smiled widely. "We're buddies."

I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "I guess we are... so you must be Alycia?"

"Alycia," she repeated in agreement. "Alycia Debnam-Carey."

"Well, nice to meet you too, Alycia," I said, before adding curiously, "I'm sorry, this is going to sound stupid, but where are you from?"

She chuckled and it sounded adorable, lighting up the whole coach. "I'm from Australia, but I've lived here for a few years now."

"Ah, I figured it was Australia," I said, nodding my head. "Makes sense."

"No problem," she said with amusement. "I'm guessing you're from around here then."

"Yeah, I go to [your school name]," I said, turning so I could face her better.

"Oh, see, I go to [another school name]," she said with realisation. "Not far from each other."

"Apparently not," I said with a stifled smile. "So what made you want to do this? You really love kids or something?"

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, actually, that's exactly it."

"I was kidding."

She laughed quietly. "Well, I wasn't. I just thought it would be nice to do something like this before I go to university. Spice up my summer a bit."

I nodded in acknowledgment and she stared at me curiously.

"How about you?" she asked, and the coach began to move off when she did.

"I'd like to say it was something cute like your answer," I admitted, "but I just needed the money to be honest."

She cracked a smile and I noticed how it matched her eyes perfectly.

"It seemed like a good way to make some more money before uni," I continued. "Plus, I guess, like you said, it should make for a good summer. I mean, the activities these kids get to do..." I raised an eyebrow. "Canoeing? Rock climbing? Pottery class? That's some rich people shit right there. I definitely never did that as a kid."

She snickered, nodding in agreement. "Fair point. It looks fun, that's for sure."

I hummed in agreement.

"Also, you're not like, a weirdo, so that means being buddies should be fun," she added.

I felt my cheeks heating up as I smiled with amusement. "Er, thanks, I guess?"

Her green eyes lit up as she mirrored my smile. "It's a compliment."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I figured."

She got comfortable in her seat and looked down the aisle before sighing to herself. "How long is this trip again?"

I checked my watch. "It's nine now, so... three hours, give or take."

"Awesome, I'm gonna take a nap," she said instantly, before crossing her arms and shuffling about until she found a spot.

"You're tired?"

"Didn't sleep much last night," she said as she closed her eyes. "Don't wanna be crabby when I'm there."

I quirked a brow as I studied her. She was anything but crabby, and in fact seemed like she was wide awake. Strange girl, for sure.

"You're staring," she said, before opening an eye and looking at me. "What's up?"

My lips curled into a smile and I soon began to shake my head, stifling laughter. "No reason. I guess I'll wake you when we're there."

She opened her other eye and smiled tiredly, before giving me a cute little nod. "Greatly appreciated, love."

I ran a hand through my hair as my smile somehow stayed fixed on my face. She closed her eyes again and I distracted myself by looking out the window, but all I could think about was how strange this girl next to me was.

I was unpacking my suitcase when the camp leader was making her rounds in the counsellors' cabin. There were several bunk beds and I was sharing with Alycia, who dibbed the top bunk after claiming she'd always wanted one as a kid. Again, strange girl, what'd I tell you?

"...and who do we have next?"

I looked up from my suitcase and saw the camp leader approaching Alycia and I with a warm smile – a blonde woman in her forties. Alycia jumped off the top bunk and joined my side, smiling widely at me before looking to the leader.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N," I introduced myself, returning the leader's smile.

"Great to have you here, Y/N," she said enthusiastically. "I'm just introducing myself to everyone and letting them know who I am and what my role is. So, I guess," she laughed, "I'm Marissa and I'm your point of contact for any issues or queries you have."

"So, my boss?" I suggested with a raised eyebrow.

"Technically, yes," she nodded, then shook her head, "but I hate the way that makes me sound. So consider me one of your colleagues, like everyone else here."

"Okay, cool," I said with a nod, before looking to a quiet Alycia, wondering when she'd introduce herself.

"And would you look who decided to sign up for this summer," Marissa said knowingly, smirking at Alycia. "Alycia Debnam-Carey."

Alycia smiled awkwardly and I grew confused. Did they know each other or something...?

"I see you read my name on the list," Alycia said quickly, motioning to the clipboard in Marissa's hand. "I mean, how else would you know who I am?"

"What are you talking about, silly? Why wouldn't I know my only niece–"

"Nice, thank you! So are you, Marissa," Alycia cut her off, nodding her head.

I looked between them both as, clearly, Alycia was terrible at hiding the fact that she was Marissa's niece. I wasn't sure why she was hiding it, but whatever. It was too amusing to witness.

"Okay...," Marissa said with confusion, eyeing Alycia curiously, before looking between us with a smile again. "I'll leave you lovely ladies to settle in. There's no pressure today since the kids will arrive tomorrow, but do read your handbooks for more information. And if you have any questions, feel free to find me or any of the other supervisors."

I nodded and watched her leave, before leaning against the bunk as Alycia looked everywhere but at me.

With an entertained smile, I said, "So you're related, huh?”

She played it off very badly. "Pfft, what? What are you talking about?"

I chuckled. "You're very strange, you know that? But don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

She finally met my eyes, startling green ones filled with relief as a sheepish smile spread on her lips. "Thank you..."

"I mean, I'm definitely curious why you're hiding it, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually," I added, before going back to my suitcase.

"Sure...," she said sarcastically, before jumping up onto the top bunk to finish unpacking.

The next morning, the kids arrived in coaches and were getting their initiation in the main hall, leaving all the camp councillors to prepare for their daily activities.

Alycia and I were assigned to fishing for the morning, so we found ourselves by the lake in the early morning sun. It was beautiful out and I was grateful to be spending the summer in such a lovely area. I couldn't have imagined being somewhere like this otherwise, or even having the opportunity to.

"Okay, so according to this, we need to find the instructors and the fishing cabin," I said as I studied the handbook. "It should be nearby apparently. Hold on, let me get my map."

"No need, I know the way," Alycia said with a shrug, before leading the way.

"Oh, awesome," I said, following after her and falling into step. "How d'you know where it is?"

Alycia paused, before answering, "Studied the map last night."

I hummed, impressed. "That explains how you knew where to find breakfast this morning."

She chuckled and I cracked a smile before looking ahead. Indeed, Alycia was correct as I saw a cabin up ahead, presumably where the instructors were.

"So, are you excited to get our group of kids today?" I asked, glancing her way.

She smiled with ease. "Yeah, I am. It should be fun! Aren't you?"

"I guess," I said, noticing how her excitement was contagious and made me feel like a smile was permanently fixed onto my face. "Let's hope they like us."

She slapped me gently on the arm, taking me by surprise.

"Pardon you?" I said sarcastically with a quirked brow.

"Why would would you say that?" she asked incredulously, an amused smile on her face. "Of course they'll like us... right?"

I chuckled. "Seriously? You're fussed about that?"

"As much as I love kids, you can get some really evil ones," she said knowingly. "You don't want to be on the wrong side of an evil child, Y/N."

"Clearly you've been," I realised, finding her expression amusing. "Care to share?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It wasn't me actually. It was a friend of mine. We were doing work experience at some primary school when one of the boys threw water balloons at her."

"That doesn't seem so bad," I said with a shrug.

"She was holding a tray of hot tea," Alycia added bitterly.

I winced. "Damn... remind me not to carry tea around or piss off any water balloon-owning boys."

Alycia breathed out with exasperation, but I could see her laugh lines appearing as she held one in.

"C'mon, let's get settled," I said to her when we reached the cabin.

After meeting the fishing instructors and being told what and what not to do, Alycia and I joined them by the lake and waited around until our group would finish with initiation.

"You know," I said, earning Alycia's attention, "I was thinking about yesterday and how you didn't want me to know about Marissa being your auntie."

Alycia closed her eyes. "Oh, god..."

"Nobody will care, y'know," I said to her with a reassuring smile. "We're all grown up. Nobody cares how you got the job, if that's what you're worried about."

Alycia opened her eyes and forced a small smile. "Right."

"I mean, it's not like your family owns the camp, is it?"

I was only joking, but the way Alycia's face changed made me realise that maybe I was right. Her eyes widened so much that I could make out the green, even with the sun streaming in my eyes.

My jaw dropped. "Your family owns the camp?!" Everything started to fit together like puzzle pieces in my mind as I realised aloud, "That makes so much sense... why you know where everything is. You were here as a kid, right? You would have to be if your family owned it."

Overcoming her terrible ability to lie, Alycia moved forward and glanced around before smiling dismissively. "That's not it. I mean, it is, but–"

"Wait, aren't the people who own this place like millionaires?" I realised, raising my eyebrows. "This is one of their many camps around the world, right? Shit, is that why you wanted to hide it?"

"That's not right!" Alycia exclaimed awkwardly. "I mean, okay, it is, but it's not my family. It's my auntie's family! She's the millionaire. Not me."

I smiled with disbelief. "Holy shit. That's wild."

"Look, it's not that big of a deal," she tried to laugh it off nervously, "I just needed a summer job and my aunt helped me out. She lives here and runs this camp, so she didn't mind giving me the job. No biggie."

I was still very surprised, never knowing anyone who was this closely linked to a wealth of that amount. I always assumed people with that much money were quite snobby – presumptuous, I know, but can you blame me? – but Alycia was way too nice to be like that, as was her auntie. Guess I was wrong.

"Look, I get why you hid it now," I said, hoping to reassure her. "Terribly, might I add, but I get it." I smiled to hopefully make her feel better. "Like you said, it's not a big deal. Don't worry. I won't say anything to anyone."

She seemed very relieved as her shoulders relaxed and an appreciative glint was in her eyes.

"Thank you," she said gently.

Sensing her discomfort, I tried to change the subject as I nudged her in the shoulder gently and nodded to my fishing rod. "So, how are your fishing skills?"

"They should be good," she said, piquing my interest, "since I was one of the kids who did the 'rich people shit' here when I was younger."

It took me a second to realise where I'd heard that before, until I realised I'd said that to her on the coach ride yesterday. Cringing with embarrassment, I face palmed as I heard her laughter surrounding me.

"Sorry for saying that," I apologised with warm cheeks. "If I had known..."

"It's cool," she said with a suppressed smile. "But seriously? I can help if you need any. I fished at a camp back in Australia as a kid. Was pretty fun."

I nodded, but I still felt embarrassed as she studied me with humoured eyes.

Why was I like this?

"It's been two weeks, mum, are you really gonna do this every day for the next month?"

My mum smiled teasingly, knowing it would bug me. Nonetheless, I cracked a smile as she and my little sister stared at me through the phone.

I was FaceTiming them in my free time and updating them on my life since almost twenty-four hours ago when I'd last called them. I'd been doing it every day since arriving here because my family just happened to be that annoyingly protective.

"You know I'm extremely jealous of you, right?" my sister, Y/S/N, said with an eye roll, though she was smiling. "Mum keeps giving me chores. Bit of a piss-take if you ask me."

My mum slapped her upside the head, making me laugh at her expression.

"Mind your fuckin' language, Y/S/N," she warned, only making me laugh harder.

"I wonder where she gets it from," I joked.

"So, how's it going?" my mum changed the subject. "What did you do today?"

I thought to myself as I recalled the day. "Er, same old same old. Went for a hike this morning, then had some lunch. Did some rock climbing in the afternoon and now we're having some leisure time before dinner. It's not too bad. Really fun, actually."

"You should've taken me with you," Y/S/N mumbled, making my mum nudge her with annoyance.

"Shut up, you love it here," my mum said, before pulling her close with a teasing smile. She looked to me, adding, "We're having fun too, Y/N."

"All she keeps saying is how much she misses you," Y/S/N deadpanned, making me roll my eyes playfully.

"Funny since I feel like I've barely left 'cause I call you every bloody day," I said with a knowing look.

"You know your dad likes it when you check in," my mum countered.

"Yeah, so do you," I fired back, making her laugh.

"Yeah," she agreed between laughter.

Before I could say anything, I looked up at the sound of the cabin door opening and saw Alycia walking in. When she spotted me, a smile appeared on her lips and her eyes lit up.

"There you are," she said, approaching me. "I was looking for you. I wanted to ask if– oh, shit, are you on the phone? Sorry. I can leave if–"

"Who's that?" my sister asked curiously.

"Oi, you finally made friends?" my mum joked a little too loudly, making me smile with embarrassment and kill myself internally.

"Sorry, that's my family," I explained to Alycia. "It's okay. If you need me, I can–"

"Hi, Y/N's friend who I've never met before and probably never will!" Y/S/N sang from the phone, making me release a shaky breath through gritted teeth.

Alycia was clearly amused as she took a seat beside me on my bed and appeared in the camera.

"Hi there," she greeted politely, a shy smile on her face. She gave a little wave as she glanced to me, before adding, "I'm Alycia."

For someone with a big mouth, Y/S/N went quiet as she awkwardly waved back in response.

"Not so much to say now, eh, tit face?" I mumbled.

"Alycia, you must be Y/N's buddy, right?" my mum realised, surprising me with how much she listened. "The one from Australia?"

I sighed to myself as Alycia laughed from beside me.

"Yeah, that's me," Alycia said with a nod. "I'm guessing you're Y/N's mum?"

"She's probably talked badly of me when mentioning me, right?" my mum joked, making me groan loudly.

Alycia nudged me in the shoulder gently as she answered my mum, "Only nice things, Mrs. Y/L/N, honestly."

"Call me Y/M/N," my mum insisted. "So, how are you finding the whole camp thing? You enjoying it?"

"She's just gonna talk your ear off, so you may as well just take it," I said to Alycia, handing her my phone.

With amusement, she accepted it and began to chat to my mum on FaceTime. Y/S/N chimed in some times and I merely sat there, praying to God that none of them would say anything embarrassing, which of course was unlikely.

"Right, I'll leave you girls to it," my mum said after ten minutes of pointless conversation. "Enjoy your evening. Love you lots, Y/N."

Feeling Alycia watching me, I got out with embarrassment, "Love you too, mum. Bye."

She waved goodbye to me before hanging up. When I put my phone away, I stood up and avoided Alycia's eyes.

"Sorry about that," I said awkwardly. "She does that a lot."

"No need to apologise," Alycia said with a kind smile as she stood up too. "They're lovely."

I finally met her eyes, giving her a knowing look. "They're embarrassing. My mum literally insists on one call every day to make sure I didn't happen to die in the forest or anything."

Alycia's smile widened as she laughed at my joke. Admittedly, my stomach flipped at the sound, as I realised just how amazing her laugh sounded.

"That's sweet though," Alycia defended.

"It's sweet when it's not your own parents," I countered.

She shrugged. "I guess. Mine aren't that overprotective."

I leaned against the bunk as I asked, "Have you talked to yours since we got here?"

"Once, when we arrived, but nothing since then," she said with a shrug. "They're not fussed since my auntie is here.

"Ah," I said with realisation. "Makes sense. She literally does this for a living, no wonder they trust you."

She chuckled and nodded, before crossing her arms and looking down at her shoes.

"What do you parents do?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, you know...," she said dismissively. "Finance."

"Sounds... fun," I said with a confused smile, before adding, "Your parents and your auntie must be complete opposites."

She cracked a smile as she shrugged again. "Yeah."

"What did you need anyway?" I asked. "When you came in before my mum hijacked our conversation to speak with you?"

Alycia raised her brows with realisation. "Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask if you wanted to get dinner together. You don't have to though."

I couldn't help but smile. "Sure thing. I see you're not sick of me just yet."

As we began to walk to the door, she glanced at me with a playful smile. "Surprisingly, no, I'm not."

I shoved her jokingly, making her stifle a laugh, before feeling my phone vibrate. I saw it was a text from my sister.

She's way too pretty to be your friend, it read, making me roll my eyes.

"Who is it?" Alycia asked as she held the door open for me.

"Sister," I said, before nodding appreciatively at her and walking through.

"Already?" she asked with confusion. "She okay?"

As I wrote my response, I answered, "Yeah, she's just being a tit."

Dickhead, I texted her back, before smiling with satisfaction and pocketing my phone.

When I signed up for this job, I honestly didn't expect to be enjoying it this much. Not only were the kids lovely, but so were the other workers. Plus, the activities were super fun, especially because we basically got paid to have a good time.

I'd like to think I had a new friend also, which was Alycia. We'd grown closer in the past four weeks of being buddies and working together, and to my surprise, it felt like we'd known each other way longer. I couldn't remember the last time I'd grown this comfortable with someone so quickly, but I tried not to question it since I was trying to enjoy this summer the best I could.

Speaking of Alycia... I was talking to one of the instructors about where the spare hiking boots were one day, and when I finished my conversation and the instructor left, I was approached by the Australian herself.

She had something behind her back as she smiled brightly my way, making my stomach do another flip, something I noticed it had been doing a lot whenever I was around her.

"Hey," I greeted her, returning the smile. "You good?"

She glanced over her shoulder for some reason, before nodding and revealing what was behind her back – some freshly picked flowers.

"Aww, Alycia, those are beautiful," I said, admiring them and giving her a smile. I knew how much she loved flowers, so this wasn't too unexpected. "You wanna put them in the cabin?"

"No, actually, they're for you," she said confidently, before holding them closer to me.

I was certainly surprised, but accepted the flowers. "Oh, I– er, wow, thank you."

I wasn't too sure if she was giving me them in a friendly way or in a bit-more-than-friendly way, so my brain was still catching up.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to accompany me to the campfire this evening," she said, her gaze softening ever so slightly, making my throat go dry.

Was she asking me out?

"Oh, er...," I began, but was still a little confused.

She sensed my confusion and subtly motioned to the kid that was standing nearby, watching us in the distance. I wasn't sure what that meant either, but Alycia's little nod made me play along.

"I'd love to," I said, thought it sounded more like a question as I quirked a brow.

She grinned and stepped back slightly, eyes lingering on mine. "Great. I'll see you later, Y/N."

Waving goodbye to her with my free hand, I called back, "See you later...?"

I watched as she walked away and eventually met with the kid, a young girl, in the distance and began talking to her about something. I was pretty confused, unsure whether that was for show or if she actually wanted to go with me, so I tried not to think about it as I put the flowers in some water and headed to the pottery room for our next class.

About twenty minutes later, I was sat at one of the benches with a few of the other kids, focusing my attention on carving into a pot I had made. It was pretty darn good, if I do say so myself, so I barely noticed when Alycia slipped onto the bench beside me until she leaned down on it and peered up at me with shimmering eyes.

"Hello," I said with a slight laugh, looking at her. "You okay?"

"Great," she settled, before looking at my pot. "Just as great as that looks."

"Cheers for that," I said, a little chuffed with myself, before distracting myself with carving a pattern.

A comfortable silence settled between us as she played with her own clay and I decorated mine, but I couldn't help but think about earlier and what she'd asked me. I wanted to know if she was genuinely asking or not, so I figured I'd just ask.

"Hey, Alycia," I got her attention without fully giving her mine so she wouldn't think I was thinking too hard on it. "D'you know earlier, when you asked me if I wanted to go to the campfire with you?"

"Yeah...?"

I licked my lips, a nervousness suddenly washing over me as I asked, "That was because of the kid, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah it was."

I swallowed hard as I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment. "I thought it was."

I could see her staring at me in my peripheral vision as she explained.

"Basically, Angelina likes Taylor but didn't know how to ask her to the campfire tonight, so she asked me to show her how. So, I figured I'd ask you in front of her to show her."

I nodded, glad I wasn't meeting her gaze otherwise she'd know for sure that I was disheartened.

"Why? Did you want me to ask you?" she asked with a raised brow.

"No, that's not what I meant," I said quickly, flustered at the situation. "I– erm–" But I didn't know what to say, so stopped speaking.

Thankfully, she didn't take much notice as she looped her arm through mine and grabbed my attention. I looked at her and she nodded ahead, making me follow her gaze. I saw Angelina approaching another kid, presumably Taylor, with a bouquet of freshly-picked flowers, just like Alycia had done earlier.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Alycia was very interested as she leaned against me and watched like it was the most interesting thing ever. It must have been going well as it soon ended with Taylor accepting the flowers and both girls grinning to each other. Angelina eventually turned to walk away, but not before finding Alycia's eyes and giving her a thumbs up with an adorable grin.

Alycia returned the thumbs up before sitting up straight and smiling widely at me, a look of pride on her face.

"I am a genius," Alycia said aloud, before popping her collars on her polo shirt for added effect.

I cracked a smile, admiring how cute she looked. "Debatable, but you're definitely helpful."

She gave me a knowing look, her green eyes dark as she held our gaze. "Flowers always work, Y/N. Who can say no to flowers?"

"True," I agreed with a nod, whilst also thinking about how it helped that the girl holding them was pretty awesome too.

"Anyway, forget that," she said quickly enough, before leaning in the palm of her hand and staring at me. "What d'you say then?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

She looked to me like I knew what she was talking about. "You know... to going to the campfire with me this evening."

I tried not to laugh. "I mean, I guess so, but–"

"As my date," she clarified, surprising me yet again.

I felt my mouth go dry as I raised my eyebrows. "Oh."

She waited patiently, eyes flickering between mine with confident green ones, though there was a hint of nervousness shining in them. I realised she was asking me out for real now and had to take a moment to acknowledge it before finally responding.

"Yeah," I said, finding my words. "I'd love to... yeah."

She smiled with relief. "Great. I can't wait."

I felt my cheeks grow warm as I returned her smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach at the way she stared at me, before looking down to to my carvings again.

[astronicht]

Hi! Sorry for bothering you, especially sorry if you've already said this somewhere and I didn't find this, but I'm curious and you seem to know a lot of cool trivia, so I thought to ask

is there like an anglo-saxon historical reason or something for why Théoden, when his title is used in the books, tends to be referred to as "Théoden king" rather than what my (admittedly non-native speaker's) language ear would say is the more common way of putting the title first and saying "king Théoden"? Or is this something that Tolkien just like, did, for some other reason of his own?

Yes there is a reason! And you're very correct that it's weird in English, because Tolkien isn't writing in correct English (which would be King Theoden); he's writing in correct Old English and then directly translating it. lol lmao etc.

I fully admit I had to check this because I couldn't remember, but in Old English instead of King Theoden you say "Theoden king" -- in Old English that's "Theoden cyning", so Tolkien is keeping the word order and just translating the word for king. The best place to see this is in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle in Old English. If you CTRL+F for cyning, you'll find that it often (though not always, it does just operate as a regular noun) follows a capitalized personal name. Here's an English version for comparison (though I think the English might be a synthesis of a couple versions of the ASE, while the Old English is just a single (oldest) version, so PSA that there might be differences between these the further you go in the text).

And please, don't think you're bothering me! If anything, it's much easier to find and reply to asks than a reply on a post, and I like this stuff!

[billthedrake]

I was inspired by the latest hot story by @maturedadsandmen. He gave me the blessing to write a riff on the premise. It started out as a prequel but became something else. Thanks to him for the inspiration and for the permission to let me adapt his idea.

WHAT HAPPENS IN FRANKFURT

"So, Trent..." I said as we settled into the business-class seats on the transatlantic leg of our flight. "Whadya have to promise Becky to get to come for a week?"

My friend and golf buddy shrugged. He's a big guy, 6'5", real muscular with a good deal of middle aged padding on his thick, ex-jock beef. Good thing I had scored the plush seats with my miles, because I couldn't imagine the poor guy squeezing into economy. Even now in his jeans and button-down shirt, the sight of him got me going. From the twinkle in his eyes, I could tell he was maybe feeling the same about me.

"It's not a week," he corrected.

"Pretty close," I smiled. We were flying to Frankfurt for the Chiefs-Dolphins game, but tacking on a few days in Bavaria for the typical guy-trip stuff. Beer halls and outdoors time. Stuff our wives had no interest in.

"I didn't have to promise Becky anything... what, is that something Heather expects?" he asked with genuine surprise.

I nodded. "Fuck yeah, that's something she expects," I said. "She's already planning the Napa wine trip."

Trent smiled. He had a personality that was laid back almost to the point of being taciturn, so I always found him especially handsome when he smiled.

Yeah, me and Trent have a thing. A sexual connection, an affair, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we sweep the complications under the rug. But it had been a solid six months since our last time having sex and with the prospect of this trip together for six days, there was just this unspoken sexual tension between us. SOMETHING was gonna happen, all right.

"Didn't she just do that for one of her girls trips?" my friend chuckled.

Our wives got along OK but weren't close friends outside of my and Trent's bond. I was always surprised that Trent was able to keep up with my wife's doings.

"Oh yeah," I said. "Only she wants to go back with just me. You know, do something romantic. I don't even wanna know how much the cases of wine are gonna set me back."

That got a belly laugh out of my buddy. It was a running joke between us. He was the hunky ex-football player who ran his own construction company. I was the number-crunching corporate exec who admittedly had the MUCH deeper bisexual streak, to the point I carried around a lot of what-ifs in my middle age. But I was the one who was more bro-ish. Maybe I wasn't quite the sexist asshole I played up, but Trent gave me some real eye rolls from time to time.

"You can afford it, buddy," he chastised me. "And a lot fucking more."

I started to reply but he held up a finger in warning. "Don't you even pull that 'happy wife, happy life' BS." He was smirking.

"Dude... you gonna bust my balls this whole trip?"

I saw a naughty look sweep across my buddys masculine, handsome face as he leaned. "Whaddya think, Josh?"

I bit my lip and did as casual a crotch adjustment as I could. Trent had given me a full-on boner.

I knew Trent was chubbed too. It had been THAT long since we'd fooled around. Sometimes it was lack of opportunity, but my buddy likes to put the breaks on a lot. Probably for the best, since I had zero self-control, around him or in general. When I was 35 I had to vow never to go to Vegas again. This affair had a different kind of high stakes, but it felt like an extension of my addictive personality.

But my hunky buddy was pulling back now, putting in his earbud and pulling up his iPad to watch some shows he'd downloaded.

I had a book. Some stupid spy novel that let me get my mind off of work. Trent teased me for bringing the office with me, and on the first leg I'd caught up on a bunch of emails. I'd have more stuff to do in Germany, but I'd worry about that later. Trent told me I should set boundaries with my company, but hell it was my work travel that was getting us these business class seats and the hotel rooms on points and I'd probably cover the majority of our meals, too...

I took a breath and paused. I had this dickish thing where I'd enjoy treating people in my life - spoiling my wife or picking up the tab with my buddies - then I'd get resentful or controlling. I was lucky to have a travel buddy like Trent. Even if we didn't suck or fuck at all this next week. Though God knows I hope we did.

I put on my noise-canceling headphones and picked up my book.

****

"You gentlemen here for the game?" the concierge asked.

I'd booked us at a chain hotel in the old city. The guy at the desk was in the typical hotel uniform - vest and tie - and I was immediately attracted to him. Early 30s I'd guess, light brown hair, almost boyish in his handsome looks, though he had the kind of athletic build that comes with doing sports, maybe soccer, or rock climbing or something. I had a soft spot for German guys, I'll admit. They always seemed to have that boy next door thing going on, with a naughty side beneath.

Or maybe it was just the slightly clipped, more formal accent.

"Yes, sir," Trent said. "You got a lot of folks in town for it, I suppose." It was a trip to see my not-so-chatty buddy get all Midwest now that he was abroad.

I couldn't tell if the desk man was trying to humor us, but he replied back to Trent's small talk with a smile. "It seems so, yes."

I felt like I had to pull Trent away. He was asking for restaurant and bar recommendations, asking for the guy's first name, the whole works.

"What?" he asked, not quite annoyed as I shook my head in the elevator.

"Dude, you don't know how much I'm looking forward to a hot shower. Wash some of that jet lag off."

He seemed contrite. "You should have told me buddy. I honestly didn't think we'd get into the room early." It was nearly noon, but we were ahead of check-in time a little.

"I guess it'll be good to stretch the legs some this afternoon, get in some sun and fresh air?"

He nodded. "Looks like a nice day."

We rolled our luggage down to our rooms and entered the clean but soulless business hotel room.

"You go first," he said. "I'm gonna call Becky and let her know we're here." I knew from Trent's account that his wife was an early riser, a yoga devotee who got an early start on her day. I'd text Heather in a bit and call her later.

"Yep," I said, already pulling off my sweatshirt and kicking off my sneakers.

The shower felt good. No, it felt great. I could have stood under for much longer, but I didn't want to hold things up. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and turned off the water. I was just as quick drying off and putting product in my hair. I took one look in the mirror. Not so bad for 46, I thought. I'd gotten into Crossfit lately and tried to eat clean, saving beer and junk food for game days or the nineteenth hole with the guys. I was shorter than Trent, 5'9" and some, even if I rounded up to 5'10" when I told people my height. Everything was looking pretty sculpted and hard and compact, and the thick blond fur on my torso was groomed and trimmed.

"You fucking narcissist," I thought. I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door, letting the steam out.

"Damn, that felt nice," I said to Trent. He was waiting for me, stripped down to his boxer briefs. It took me a second to realize what was in his hand, but it was a portable enema kit.

"I know you wanna hit the sights, buddy... but maybe I can clean out for you, first?" he asked. An excited glint in his eye but also some embarrassment. It had taken some convincing to get my hunky friend to bottom for me and even more sweet talking to get him to do a deeper prep. But it turns out Trent loved getting his ass eaten out, and he knew I'd go at it more freely and fervently if he was squeaky clean.

"God yes," I said. "I guess vacation starts for real, huh?" I said. Already I was chubbing beneath the towel.

He nodded with a grin, clearly excited by how easily I got turned on.

I let him do his thing while I texted Heather and answered a couple of work emails. I set down my phone and took off my towel, hanging it up in the closet. I pulled down the sheets on one of the double beds. My dick wasn't hard at first but as I lay down naked, I thought of Trent's hunky ass and meaty body. I thought of the reception guy and what it would be like to watch him and Trent go at it before I came in and fucked that German stud hard and fast from behind.

I was rock hard now. I thought of picking my phone back up and scrolling through some porn but decided I'd enjoy the more purely mental excitement I was filling. Just enjoy the moment of being in a hotel room with my good buddy and sometimes fuck buddy. For a whole week. I shut my eyes and let my sexual fantasies visualize themselves.

"Dang," I heard, snapping my eyes open. Maybe I'd been dozing some, but apparently my prick wasn't. "I never get sick of seeing that cock of yours."

I'm not huge, but I'm big, and my endowment looks bigger on my frame. I smiled and spread my legs, showing my meat off to Trent.

"OK if I suck it first?" he said, stepping up. In the big mitt of his right hand he had a small bottle of lube, which he set on the night stand.

"When have I ever said no to that?" I asked.

"Bro," Trent retorted, "You're such an ass-man... you can have a one-track mind sometimes." I felt defensive and I was gonna say something, but Trent got on all fours and crawled toward me. He was such a big guy, tall and beefy, that it was never anything short of mind-blowing to see him in such a posture. Already his hand was on my quad muscle, rubbing it in a way that sent electricity right to my boner. "It's OK bud. It's a good look on you," he said in a hushed, sexy voice.

Then he leaned forward to get a closer look at my crotch. Inches away close, and I could feel his breath on my dong. Trent's brown eyes were on my dick, only flitting up to my face occasionally.

"What happens in Frankfurt, right?" he growled.

"Fuck yeah," I hissed. When I started up with my buddy, I just thought I was scratching that bisexual itch. And yeah it was naughty fun. Clearly I fantasized about other men, too. But I was coming face to face with the reality that no one turned me on so much or so effortlessly like my 52 year old friend.

His first licks were a get-reacquainted approach. It had been a while since he'd taken care of me. I sucked him too, and on a blue moon bottomed for the stud. But this is what we did the first time we fooled around, and it felt like our own private anniversary ritual.

"That's it, buddy," I hissed. Trent had that combo of not-quite-skilled and very enthusiastic that appealed to me more than I realized. Outside of my times with Trent, I'd only had dude sex a couple times behind Heather's back, and those guys were better cocksuckers. But not better, you know? They weren't Trent Grayson.

My buddy coughed some on my dick as he swallowed more. Not a gag, but a grunt that said he was fighting back that initial reflex. Instantly my fingers went to the back of his neck. "Easy, bro... you got this."

He did, too. After that initial shock, he was working more of me into his gullet, over and over, faster and faster.

"FUCK!" I gasped, my eyes wide as I watched my best bud deep throat me with silky steady mouth strokes. "Buddy... if you don't let up," I warned, my breath ragged. I normally wasn't this quick at the draw, but I hadn't gotten off the last couple of days. My balls were drawn up tight.

Trent spit me out, a satisfied smile on his face. He knew he'd done a great job.

"You been practicing?" I asked. "You haven't done THAT before," I said.

"I may have gotten a toy to work on," he admitted with a wink.

"Yeah?" I asked, my chest heaving in excitement. My dick was twitching in time with my heartbeat. "When was that, bud?"

Those brown eyes were hungry and playful and sexy as fuck. "When we booked this trip."

"And here I was worried I was gonna push up against some boundaries with you this week," I said.

Trent nodded and leaned up. He was excited all right, his medium-sized tool rock hard and wet at the tip. My buddy had a beefy build that was something shy of a dad bod, but he was real and muscled head to toe, and his size meant he carried the mid-section girth well. "You probably will," he answered honestly. "Hell, I know you well, Josh," he added.

"Yeah," I admitted. Chastised some. I was the one of us who got carried away. But this man was so incredible, body and soul.

Trent didn't seem too fazed. Or maybe the sexual heat was winning out. He turned to face away from me so I could see that broad back, that short hair cut with the gray fringe and the balding spot on top, that round daddy ass fitting a tall, athletic man.

That ass was backing up toward, the buns getting closer. Trent didn't shave down there, he somehow naturally had a smooth ass, except for deep in the crack.

"You gonna...?" I asked. Or started to ask. Already the big guy was leaning forward and spreading his legs, opening that crevice right up for my gaze. Softly furry with that neglected crinkled pucker in the center, freshly cleaned for me.

My hands were already on his butt doing the rest of the work to part the cheeks as I dove in.

"Oh god yes," Trent hissed. "I've been thinking about this... so much."

I licked softly at first. Giving some gentle kisses beween a more exploratory approach to his hole and trench. Then I gripped his ass more tightly and started drilling in. I couldn't even say I was an expert at rimming. I just loved it and went at it, hard. Slurping and sucking. Munching and tonguing. Alternating my moves in part because I just fricking loved it all.

Trent loved it too. I still think he had hang ups when it came to anal. I know I did. We were two men unwilling to relinquish what we considered the more masculine role. I'd probably put up with his misgivings this week, and he might try to break down my hesitation to bottom. We'd see. For now, though, it was clear that I was even more into eating out a male cunt than actual pussy, and Trent enjoyed the oral treatment to his hole.

Finally, I pulled back, practically growling into his spit wet trench. "Dude, I gotta be in you. Now."

I expected some pushback, but instead Trent was scrambling his big body. Moving forward and pivoting around. His prick was outright dripping now, a thin strand of clear sap swayed from his tip. I wondered how many days he'd held off from sex or jerking off.

Hurriedly he reached over and got some lube in his palm, eagerly reaching back behind. "Let me ride," he said. "It's been a while."

I nodded and rode out a deep couple of breaths while he lined my prick up to his wet buns and settled back on me.

The initial penetration stung some for him, but quickly he relaxed.

"That's nice," he muttered as he sank down a couple more inches. He got a grin on his face. "I love how hard you get, Josh."

"Jesus buddy," I hissed. I'd had to sweet talk him into barebacking a little over a year ago. Now, every time I entered him was pure bliss. Silky, warm, and drum-tight. "I'm like that everytime I'm with you."

"I know," Trent replied. "I fucking love it." He settled further back and my cock popped past the last bit of tightness. Suddenly, Trent was sitting all the way in my lap and his guts were gripping my boner in spasms.

"You good?" I asked with concern. But a little hesitant to ask, because this was all VERY good for me.

"Yep," he said. He reached down and wrapped his lubey fist around his hard on, smearing this own sap to add to the slickness. His initial strokes made his ass clench down tighter on me, then the self pleasuring helped his body relax into it.

Within a minute of settling down on me, Trent began to lift his burly body up off my dick a couple of inches, only to swivel back down.

This was the almost feminine part of our mating that Trent felt self conscious about. Working my bone with a slutty hip motion. But I'd told him that starting slower is much better for me, and it turned out to be better for Trent, letting him build up the stimulation of his prostate as we locked eyes.

Our fuck was silent now, other than the sloshy slick sounds where his ass connected to my dick and the soft bounce of the bed. Trent's a heavy man, in the mid 200s on the scale, and my dense muscle added to it, too.

I watched him get into it, watch the pleasure grow on his face. This is what surprised me with Trent. I thought sex with dudes was simply about getting my rocks off, but I loved giving this man pleasure. Giving him an orgasm. I was about to give him one now.

"You're getting close," he said in his deep gravely voice. Not a question. Trent could read it on my face, register my impending cum before I did.

"Oh yeah," I hissed. It was arriving fast now, that crest of pleasure, like an ocean swell that breaks right in front of you. My fingers gripped his hard quads, maybe a little too hard, just seconds before I felt his hot spray of semen jet onto my bare chest muscle. Then another, then another. All heavy wads of bleachy-floral seed raining onto me. I was pounding out a mammoth load from this beautiful man.

My own cock was firing now, matching Trent's in its heaviness. "Fuck!" I whimpered. Trent sometimes teased me for the way my voice would get higher pitched when I came. But our nearly simultaneous O meant we were synched in our lust and deep connection.

Finally Trent's hips slowed and he eased off. Some semen came out on the dismount but he clenched up to stop the rest as he plopped down on the spare side of the bed. The double mattress didn't hold out two big bodies easily, Trent's especially but he kind of snuggled up to me in an uncharacteristic intimacy and rested his face on my shoulder. Lazily his hands ran along my torso, smearing his own cum into my chest fur.

"You have an incredible body, Josh," he said.

My dick hadn't gone down. I was drained and not ready to fuck again or anything, but I was still pretty keyed up. I kissed his forehead. I didn't want to push the guy too far but figured he'd initiated this closeness. "Yeah?" I asked. I knew we enjoyed a physical chemistry, but Trent had never complimented me like this, even though I sometimes gushed over his body.

He ran his hand down my ripped abs. I didn't have the body of a 26 year old, but I kept my core tight and knotted.

"I've been afraid to tell you," he said.

"Really?" I asked. Trent didn't seem to be afraid of things.

"You can get a little conceited," he said, brusquely.

This was the Trent-and-Josh thing. Teasing each other. Humble guy and the corporate exec. But something about his words seemed to cut deeper. "I don't know what to say," I said softly.

He patted my stomach. "You're you, Josh. I understand ya, buddy. And I know I'm not easy to get along with." His hand drifted lower and wrapped around my cock, which was still rigid as just a minute earlier. "In all fairness, you have good reason to be conceited."

I wanted to kiss this guy, so bad, but that was against our bro code. "If I get to be too much, buddy..." I started. "Well, I just don't want this week to be weird."

Trent looked up. "It's not gonna be weird, Josh. Football... beer... hot steamy hotel sex... what more can you want?"

"Nothing, man," I growled. I enjoyed the soft touch of his hand as he explored my dick. Finally with a sigh, I spoke up, "I will absolutely fall asleep if we keep lying here... maybe get out for a bit?"

Trent didn't answer but just scooted away from our tight embrace, edging his big tall body off the bed. I watched him walk to the bathroom to clean off.

Somehow, the spell had been broken.

[capricornlevi]

tattoo artist!choso x reader // v mildly suggestive/nsfw, mdni // wc ~700

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"choso, it's just like tattooing anybody else," you quip, diligently keeping your arm in the position he set out at the beginning. his tattoo parlour's bench is quite comfortable, all things considered -- you don't think you could manage two hours on your side with your arm over your head otherwise. "just pretend i'm any other client."

"you're not," he retorts, and when you glance down at him, you see he's locked in on the movements of the needle, eyes not so much as flickering a millimetre in your direction. his hair is pulled back out of his eyes, his sleeves rolled up to reveal the black-and-white whirls of his own designs, but even as you gawk down at him, he continues pretending that the only visible part of you is the three-inch wide patch of skin he's tattooing.

equal parts relieving and frustrating.

"how is it any different?" you press, trying to point out the ridiculousness of his worries.

he scoffs in response, careful to not let it affect his movements, the unrelenting sting of the needle against your ribcage serving as evidence. "i haven't seen my other clients naked before."

you roll your eyes. "you've seen me naked three times, y'know. we're hardly married. can't a girl ask her talented friend-with-benefits for a tattoo? isn't that one of the benefits?"

choso's nose scrunches up adorably, brow furrowing from something other than concentration. "don't call us that."

"aw, are we lovers? paramours? in a situationshi-"

"don't finish that sentence," he butts in impatiently, gloved hand holding your waist firmly in place as he puts the finishing touches on his design.

he had been mumbling before about how awkward this could be, how he doesn't like to tattoo people he knows. how it's too much pressure.

you decide to put his mind at ease. "well, we're not dating, so if it turns out shit, i can't really break up with you. i can only just ... make it so that you won't see me naked a fourth time, i guess. is that still a scary consequence?"

"terrifying," he mumbles through a fond smile, your ramblings having successfully cut through the tension. and just then, the buzz of the needle quietens to a stop, with choso grabbing some equipment from his side tray that you presume is for the aftercare.

"is that it?" you gasp, trying to angle your head to catch a glimpse at the finished work. "is it done?"

"that didn't feel like two hours to you?" he asks, lips still pulled up into a nervous little grin as he grabs a mirror. "can't say the same for myself. i told you how much pressure it is-"

"choso!" you squeal, a bit more ungracefully than you expected, mouth falling open as the image of your tattoo reflects in the mirror in front of you. "i fucking love it!"

the design is the stuff of your pinterest board dreams; exactly as you imagined it but somehow better, with refined details you couldn't have pictured yourself. all done with minimal pain and only a bit of griping on the artist's end.

a blush has formed along choso's sharp cheekbones, the same blush you get to see whenever you have the apartment to yourself and can invite him over without your shared friend group making the world's biggest deal out of it.

the same blush he gets whenever you kiss him, when your fingernails start to dig in against his lower back as he --

"you like it?" he asks, adorably bashful despite the objective beauty of his design.

"of course," you reply earnestly, figuring it best not to tease him when he's done you such a favour. "i know you're giving me a reduced rate, but fuck, man, you could charge double for this."

"double is a bit dramatic," he replies quietly, blush spreading. your turn to grin.

"okay, then i'll have to make it up to you in other ways, i guess."

he swallows thickly, your implication obvious even to someone as innocent as choso.

still, for the sake of clarity and to show your sincere gratitude -- and your own self-interest, admittedly, since you can't believe it's been nearly two weeks since you're felt his lips on yours -- you decide to elaborate on your offer.

"up for a fourth time?"

[amyispxnk]

Back home

Summary: Javi returns home and you guys have some fun 😜 (I'm bad at summaries haha)

A/N: I wrote this before Halloween ended so forgive the Halloween activities. I can't be bothered to change it. Also I don't really know what perspective this is written in..?

I have not proofread this so I'm sorry if there's any confusing bits or mistakes. Lmk if there's anything major!

Javier Peña x f!reader

Word count: 1858

Warnings- pet names, smut (oral f receiving, PiV) fluff

DO NOT COPY THIS WORK IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

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He turned off his car and walked outside, unlocking the door to his apartment and stepping inside, admittedly a little excited to finally see his girlfriend after a long mission abroad.

As he opened the door, she jumped up and ran over to him, crushing him with a hug as she practically jumped on him.

"Javi! I missed you so much!" She squealed.

He laughed heartily, catching her in his arms as she leaped towards him. He spun her around once before setting her back down on the ground, kissing her passionately. "I missed you too, mi amor. It feels good to be home."

Pulling away, he took a step back to look at her, taking in every detail of her appearance. Her hair was longer than he remembered, and there was a new sparkle in her eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

"You look more beautiful than ever." He said sincerely, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "How have you been holding up while I was away?"

"Been good.. kinda bored though, without you. I did some decorating as you can see..." She said, nodding her head in the direction of the Halloween decorations strung up thoughout the apartment.

His eyes lit up as he took in the festive decorations adorning their home. Skeletons hung from the ceiling, cobwebs were draped across corners, and pumpkins sat on every available surface.

"Wow, you really went all out." He remarked with a grin. "Looks like we're ready for Halloween."

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer as they surveyed the scene together.

"So what do you say we make the most of my first night back? We could watch a scary movie, eat some popcorn...maybe even carve a pumpkin or two."

"Oh, scary movie marathon was already on my list of stuff to force you into. Sit, I'll go bring some popcorn. Put a movie on too, you get first pick as a courtesy of mine." She winked before kissing him again then going to get the popcorn ready.

He chuckled, watching her walk away before turning his attention to the television. Flipping through the channels, he settled on a classic horror film - one that had given him nightmares as a kid but seemed strangely comforting now.

By the time she returned with a steaming bowl of popcorn, the opening credits were rolling. She handed him a large handful before settling in next to him on the couch, resting her head against his shoulder.

"This better not give me nightmares," she teased, reaching for another handful of popcorn. "But if it does, at least I know who to blame."

Halfway through the movie, she moved to sit between his legs on the couch and pulled the blanket on top of them, muttering something about being cold and Javier's body being a 'fucking heater'.

He laughed softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. As the tension mounted on screen, he couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over him - there was no place he'd rather be than right here, with her.

She moved to tug the blanket tighter around them as she complained how cold it was when it was barely November.

"You're cold?" He asked playfully. "Let me help you with that."

With a mischievous grin, he began to tickle her sides, eliciting a fit of giggles from her. When she tried to retaliate, he captured her wrists in his hands, holding her still as they both dissolved into laughter.

"Okay, okay," she gasped, breathless. "I surrender!" But he didn't let up.

"Javi, stop!" She shrieked as her face went red from laughing so hard. "I'm gonna piss myself, stop!"

His eyes twinkled with amusement as he relented, releasing her wrists and leaning back against the couch. But even as the movie continued, his gaze remained fixed on her - taking in every curve of her body, every freckle on her skin.

"You know," he said softly, running a finger down her arm. "There's only one way to make sure you don't have nightmares tonight."

Leaning in, he brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. She responded eagerly, her hands tangling in his hair as they lost themselves in the moment.

"We need to make sure you stay awake," he whispered, making her breath hitch slightly as she turned to face him fully.

"How do you plan on doing that?" She pressed, any attention she was paying to the movie before long gone.

A smile played at the corner of his mouth as he traced a finger along her collarbone, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. His voice was low and husky when he spoke, sending shivers down her spine.

"I have a few ideas," he murmured, leaning in to capture her lips once again. This time, there was nothing gentle about their kiss - it was fierce and hungry, fueled by weeks apart.

Breaking away, he looked into her eyes, his own dark with desire. "Are you game?"

"Am I game?" She laughed before moving to sit completely on his lap.

"Yeah, I'm game."

His heart raced as she straddled him, her warmth enveloping him like a second skin. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply before trailing kisses down her neck.

"Good," he growled against her skin. "Because I've missed you too much to wait any longer."

With that, he stood up effortlessly, carrying her bridal style towards the stairs. She buzzed with excitement as he climbed each step, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"It's really hot how you can just carry me like this." She said with a little giggle as she looked up at him.

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead before answering.

"Years of working in the DEA have paid off, I guess." He flashed her a grin as they reached the bedroom door. Setting her down gently on the bed, he took a moment to admire the sight before him - her flushed cheeks, her tousled hair, the heat in her eyes.

"Now," he said softly, crawling towards her on the bed. "Where were we?"

"I think we were here." She said as she straddled him once more and leaned back slightly to pull her top off.

His eyes widened in appreciation as she revealed her perfect breasts, her nipples already hard from their earlier encounter. Leaning in, he took one into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue before switching to the other.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," he groaned, his hands wandering over her body. Reaching behind her, he unclasped her bra completely and let it fall to the floor, revealing even more of her smooth skin.

She gasped as the cold night air hit her breasts before her hands came to grab for his shirt, fumbling to get it off.

Laughing softly, he helped her remove his shirt before moving on top of her. His lips trailed down her stomach, leaving a path of kisses in their wake. Reaching her jeans, he undid them quickly, sliding them down her legs along with her panties.

"So wet for me," he murmured appreciatively. "Just like I knew you would be."

Dipping his head, he ran his tongue over her clit, causing her to cry out in pleasure. Her taste was intoxicating - sweet and tangy at the same time. He lapped at her folds greedily, drinking in her essence.

"Oh my god" she moaned, head tipping back as she fisted his curls tightly, begging him for more.

Encouraged by her reaction, he redoubled his efforts, using his fingers to massage her clit while his tongue delved deeper inside her. She was so close - he could feel it in the way her body trembled beneath him.

"That's it, baby," he growled, adding another finger to increase the pressure. "Come for me."

And with a loud cry, she did just that, her orgasm crashing over her like a wave. He held her through it, his arms wrapped around her waist as she rode out the aftershocks.

"Wow," she breathed finally, looking up at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"You're really good at eating pussy." She said with an airy chuckle as she leaned forward on her forearms.

He grinned at the compliment, leaning in to steal a kiss. "I aim to please," he said cheekily.

Rolling onto his back, he pulled her on top of him, enjoying the feeling of her naked body pressed against his. Her breasts were soft against his chest, her thighs slick with sweat where they rested on either side of his hips.

"Your turn," he said, reaching down to cup her ass. "I'm not done with you yet."

"You better not be." She murmured against his lips before pushing herself up and steadying herself with her palms against his chest, starting to rock slowly against his erect length.

His breath caught in his throat at the sensation of her moving against him. It felt amazing - the friction of her wetness against his cock driving him wild. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, but he didn't want it to end yet.

Reaching up, he grabbed her hips, guiding her movements until she was riding him just right. Her moans spurred him on, and soon they were both lost in the rhythm, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

"Querida," he groaned, unable to form coherent words anymore. All he knew was that he needed more of her - needed to be inside her.

"What?" She teased as she slowed her movements slightly, head resting sideways on her shoulder.

Gritting his teeth, he tried to hold back, but it was no use. He lifted her up and pulled her back down on him in one swift movement, barely giving her a chance to breath before he was thrusting rapidly inside of her.

Her head fell back and he bent down, attaching his lips to her nipple once more and swirling his tongue around it, his pace inside of her still relentless.

Her hands tugged on his disheveled hair when he angled his hips a little differently, making his cock hit that perfect spot inside of her.

"Fuck, don't stop! I'm gonna come, Javi!" She moaned.

"Come on baby, come on. Soak my cock. Come on." He urged, moving faster and faster until she finally came undone, clenching around him and making her pussy impossibly tight around his dick.

With a final thrust, he came inside her, his release so powerful it left him weak and breathless. As the last of his orgasm subsided, he pulled her down onto him, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Fuck," he breathed against her neck. "That was...amazing."

She smiled, pressing a kiss to his jawline. "It certainly was," she agree before resting her head in the crook of his neck until her breathing slowed and they both came down from their highs.

He lay down in a more comfortable position after a moment and she shuffled to the side slightly so her head was resting on his chest, slowly drifting to sleep.

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Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open! 💞

[marilynthornhillobsessed]

hey!!!!

i have a request only if your comfortable

reader is 20+ obvs and has a quite a popular social life and marilyn gets jealous and it’s angst and smut (bottom reader)

Aaah, thank you so much for the request. I hope you like it! 🥰

You Are All Mine

Summary: On your way to a party you get side tracked by your favorite teacher.

tw: smut || jealousy || teacher/student || age gap || overstimulation || semi public sex || mommy kink

Marilyn is not Laurel Gates

Top!Marilyn Thornhill x Bottom!Student!Reader

Words: 3.1k

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It was getting late and you hurried to get dressed. The party was starting soon and before recently you had your nose still buried deep in one of the projects for Monday.

Sighing you looked yourself over, you wore a yellow hoodie with a denim jacket, loose black pants and your favorite pair of shoes. Feeling a bit self-conscious you bit your lip but there was no time left to change outfits now.

Grabbing your phone and keys you left your dorm room, rushing down the corridors, trying not to look too suspicious in doing so.

It was dark but there were still some students bustling around in the hallways, chatting and a few couples trying to 'secretly' make out without anyone noticing.

You blushed, thinking of Marilyn, you wished you could spend more time with her but you both had to be careful as to not raise any suspicion.

Mentally shaking yourself you continued, you had to pick up pace, you already were late and getting distracted like that would lead to some very specific thoughts. Thoughts you couldn't handle right now. So you pushed on.

As you left the majority of students behind, you started a light jog - of course making sure no teacher saw you - just to cover more ground. Getting outside you took in a deep breath, the night air was crisp and you could smell the petrichor and the musty, earthy smell of the pond that is set in the center of the quad.

Nearly through the grassy area, you felt a cold shiver run down your spine. Not stopping, you looked around but didn't see anyone. Strange, you thought, maybe it was just nerves? Maybe another student? Maybe a killer??? You questioned how smart the decision was to go out to a party in the woods and get drunk…

And you started overthinking, great. Balling your hands into fists you tried to force yourself to think of other stuff, like the rest of the way you still had left. The party was located at a shack, close to Nevermore grounds, so you had to leave Ophelia hall, pass the quad, walk through that shady alley that lead to one of the more discreet exits, trek through the yard and into the forest.

Easy, right? The thought didn't calm you at all but you couldn't refuse your friends… You loved them to bits and you trusted them not to put you into dangerous situations. They wouldn't… right?  

Nearing the alleyway the feeling of dread and being followed got stronger. So you kept your guard up. In hindsight it would have been smarter to go with Yoko when she asked you to, but you didn't. Powering through that shady alley you made it to the exit.

With a semi quiet creak the door opened, you sighed, finally having managed to get out of the academy walls, and without anyone noticing. Good, very good.

"What are you doing?" You jump at the noise, heart racing you spun around in the direction of the noise. Not being prepared to run into anyone. "Aren't you supposed to be working on your project?" Marilyn asks confused, finding it quite suspicious that you are sneaking around the back of the academy at this hour. If you were in her shoes you would, admittedly, also be suspicious of yourself.

"Ms Thornhill," you dragged her name out. "I could ask you the same question." You respond, trying to stall while looking around quickly to make sure no one was there to see you. Feeling reassured not seeing or hearing anyone you let your guard down, attention returning to the older woman. "Marilyn." You breathed out with a soft, fond smile, she looked so cute with the big plant in her arms. Marilyn frowned but responded in kind and smiled warmly back at you, but that smile didn't last long, rather instantly, it was replaced by a stern look as she eyes you up and down in the low moon light.

Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, she asks, "Where are you going? And why are you all dressed up like that?" Marilyn's brows furrow, "and don't you dare lie to me, young lady." She warned. You started squirming under her meticulous attention. The fact that you were a terrible liar would not help in this situation and you didn't want to lie to her in the first place. It still makes the moment uncomfortable, you know she would get mad at you when you told her but you really wanted to spend some time with your friends and not have her get jealous over it.

Deflating you said "Okay," slouching your shoulders in defeat. "I'm going to a small party. Please don't be mad." Your eyebrows pulled together in nervous anticipation.

Marilyn paused for a moment, trying to reign in her displeasure, she looked at you. "There are rules for a reason you know. Lucky for you I caught you and not Principal Weems." Pushing past you she asked, "Can you help me with this real quick, sweetheart? It's getting heavy." The redhead looked at you expectantly, her expression hard to read but you suspected she was trying very hard to control her jealousy.

Looking suspiciously at her you took a timid step closer. "You are not going to stop me?" Marilyn didn't answer, just held her arms out with the pot in her hands for you to take. Grabbing the big pot you waited for her instructions.

"Don't worry, you don't have to carry it far, I just need to get it into one of the storage closets so I can bring it to Principal Weems tomorrow morning. You know I can't leave things around here without people messing with them." She sighs, you could see her ten yard stare when she remembered a few too many incidences when her plants had been messed with.

Leading the way Marilyn showed you to a medium sized closet, it was filled with crates and the air smelt stale and dusty. Wrinkling your nose you entered the storage room waiting for Marilyn to follow suit. She did but turned around closing and locking the door behind herself before facing you again. Looking at her strangely you chose to ignore her action. "Where do I put the plant?"

"Right there will do, thank you." Marilyn pointed at a lower standing box. You did as you were told and placed the pot gently on the wooden surface. It was heavier than it looked, you were impressed Marilyn even managed to get it this far on her own. Biting your lip you couldn't help but think of your lovers strong arms. When you turned around Marilyn was situated right behind you, staring you down before grabbing a hold of your hoodie and steering you against the nearest wall. With a soft oomph you were pressed against it.

"What are you doing?" You asked, flushing brightly at the situation. Marilyn didn't respond, she just grabbed the underside of your jaw bending your head to the side and started attacking your neck. Your knees nearly gave way under her attention, she knew exactly where your sweet spot was and she mercilessly abused that knowledge.

She was definitely jealous, Marilyn did not have a good time sharing you with your friends. The redhead loved spending time with you and you did too but you had a pretty active social life you had to keep up with. And you had to pick up on your studies because exams were starting soon which gave you even less time to spend with either of them.

 

Unable to keep your moans concealed you started gasping, it was getting too much. Squirming you snaked your arms around Marilyn's body threading your right hand through her hair and desperately holding on to her with your left. You loved the feeling of her taut body against yours.

The first time you saw her naked you couldn't believe how in shape she was. Her baggy clothes really did a good job concealing her true form which made you feel even more special knowing exactly how she looked underneath all of them.

Taking a deep breath you could smell her shampoo, it smelt divine as the strong scent filled your lungs. Pulling away from your neck Marilyn released your jaw and cupped your left cheek taking your lips captive with hers, distracting you enough for you to not notice her left hand sneaking under your shirt.

Squeaking you inhaled sharply as you felt Marilyn's cold hand make contact with your stomach, slowly inching its way closer to your chest. You could feel her grin against your lips, she enjoyed making you squirm under her touch.

It was getting harder to stay quiet but you had to, if someone found out, the two of you would be in big trouble. But your mind was slowly but surely starting to fog up. Her caresses and touches were just really hard not to enjoy, especially when she pushed your bra over your chest and started teasing your nipple.

Pulling away from her lips you whimpered, you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second and she seemed determined to keep teasing you. "Marilyn, please…" you pleaded.

"Aww, baby, getting desperate already?" Marilyn cooed, emphasizing her question by squeezing your breast and flicking her thumb over your perked nipple, forcing a whine out of you. "Well who's fault is that, hm?" Unable to keep your head upright you nestled it against her neck grabbing the back of her blue jumpsuit and needily holding onto the fabric. Marilyn used the opportunity to wrap her right arm around your waist, gently stroking your lower back before continuing. "You should have come to visit mommy more often, I could have taken care of you but you seem to be more interested in hanging out with your friends. Do I have to show you what you have been missing out on?"

Nodding eagerly you pulled away from the comfort of her neck. Biting your lower lip you looked at her pleadingly you knew she loved seeing the needy desperation in your eyes. And just as you expected she groaned when your eyes met, hers darkened to an almost black. You squeezed your legs together, you loved seeing her like that, wild and ready to devour you.

"If mommy gives you what you need will you promise to be a good girl and visit more often?" Exhaling shakily you nodded again. "Words baby."

"I promise to be a good girl and visit you more often."

"Good" Marilyn purred, pulling away smiling mischievously, she delighted in seeing you so obedient. Using the hand that teased your nipple she shoved you back against the wall keeping you at arms length. Leaving her palm pressed against your sternum she undid your pants with the other, grinning from ear-to-ear seeing you submit to her.

You shivered at the feeling of her hand stroking along the band of your underwear. Your anticipation growing with each second and Marilyn knew, she knew how much you needed her. Moving your hips you tried stirring her into action, mewling and lightly scratching the back of her neck but she didn't move.

"You have to be a bit more convincing, honey. Show mommy how much you want her." She teased sliding her index finger between the elastic band and your skin, enticingly pulling it while staring at you with hungry eyes.

That alone nearly did you in. With half lidded eyes you released your hold on her neck, dropping your jacket before crossing your arms and pulling the hoodie over your head. With lightly disheveled hair, you continued, now only left with your tank top and bra to go. When you unclasped your bra you made sure to stare Marilyn right in the eyes, seeing how her attention shifted away from your face and lower.

Freed from the gentle restraint of your bra Marilyn lifted her hand from your sternum and tossed the offending garment aside, letting it join the rest of your clothes. "That's better isn't it?" She cooed, gently running her left hand over the newly exposed area of skin. Sighing and nodding you agreed, the air was cold but your body was heated up enough that you barely felt it.

Finally giving in Marilyn slipped her hand between your legs and oh, it felt so much better than you remembered. Maybe it was the thought of being fucked in a more public place than her bedroom, maybe it was the fact you haven't had sex with her in awhile or maybe it was her teasing that drove your body so close to the edge that barely any touch would make you come. You could only speculate as one of her fingers started teasing your entrance. "Fuuck~…" the word involuntarily escaped your lips. Clasping your hand over your mouth you looked apologetically at Marilyn who glared at you and flicked her middle finger over your clit. The muscles in your lower belly tensed, and you jerked forward at the sensation, grabbing onto Marilyn's shoulders.

"You know I don't like it when you curse." Nodding you tried to say something but she didn't let you. Pushing her finger into your wet center she started moving her digit in and out, making sure to brush your clit while doing so. It was a slow and torturing rhythm, it felt good but you wanted, no, you needed more. Following your every move Marilyn kept her eyes on you, watching as you helplessly tried to produce more friction. Rocking your hips, meeting the motions of her hand. Trying to gain some semblance of control in this situation but it still wasn't enough.

When she was jealous she had little mercy for you and really enjoyed driving you crazy until you begged. So you did just that, you begged. "Mommy, please…" You whined, seeing her lips pull into a wicked grin you knew you did the right thing as she added another finger. The added strain made your head fall forwards, you tried pulling Marilyn against you but she still kept you at arms length, making sure you weren't able to do more than hold onto her.

Moving her hand away from your sternum, Marilyn let it glide up your exposed chest, grabbing your throat before forcefully squeezing it and lifting your head to make you look at her. You shivered as your eyes met and she quickly released her strong grip on your windpipe but still held on to your throat. "Keep looking at me baby," she said in a breathy voice, clearly being affected by your noises and reactions.

"Aaahhh~!" You moaned loudly as she dug her short nails into the soft skin of your neck. Trying your best to keep your eyes open as she increased the speed and adjusted the angle of her fingers, pumping them deeper into you.

"Good girl, keep looking at mommy." Marilyn purred, biting her lip while she watched you crumble under her touch.

"Marilyn…!" You groaned, you were so close that a few more rough strokes did you in and a wave of pleasure washed away all the tension you felt building up. It felt exhilarating.

However, she didn't stop. Instantly, your muscles started clenching around her curled fingers. "Oh, did you think we were done, honey?" Adding more pressure to your g-spot, she made you come once again. This time, your vision nearly faded to black as the sensations started to overwhelm you.

"Marilyn, please, I caaahh~ …" You started begging as tears formed in the corners of your eyes, it was too much. "I can't anymore, please~." but her fingers kept working you close to the edge once more.

"Swear you will come visit me more frequently from now on." Marilyn demanded, lowering the hand she had against your neck, causing you to slump forwards into her arms, bringing your bodies closer against each other.

"I swear, please, Marilyn, I swear to visit more frequently..! I'm-, aaahh!" You came with a loud sob, trembling in Marilyn's hold. Taking pity on you, Marilyn finally slowed down.

Breathing heavily, you mewled into the crook of her neck. "Shh, baby, I'm here, mommy's here." Marilyn cooed, hugging you tightly against her, "You did so well, sweetheart." she whispered, placing a soft kiss against your temple, gently pulling her fingers out of you. Being extra careful and making sure not to brush them against your overstimulated clit. Pushing you slightly away from her, Marilyn looked at you, worried, wiping the few stray tears away that started drying on your cheeks. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked, concern lacing her voice, sometimes she lost control of herself and pushed things a bit too far, but you knew you were safe with her.

You nodded tiredly, smiling lovingly at her, you always started feeling warm and cared for when she worried about you. Taking a shaky breath, you tried to stand on your own legs again. Swaying, Marilyn's arms were instantly around your waist to stabilize you.

"Careful. Are you sure you are okay?"

"I am, promise." Assuring her, you cupped her cheeks and kissed her, deepening the kiss when you heard her moan into your mouth. Pulling away, you looked at her sheepishly. "I should probably get cleaned up and dressed again."

Marilyn nodded, giving you a quick peck on the lips before bending down and starting to help you gather your things. She was careful not to use her right hand and get come all over the fabric. Once your garments were handed to you, Marilyn pulled out a bag of wet wipes, cleaning her hand and then handing you the package. You were grateful she had them with her, else you had no other option but to go back to your dorm and get cleaned there. You didn't want anyone to find out Marilyn and you were a thing, and werewolves are notoriously good at picking up scent, so having scented wipes was a good way to throw them off.

Finally being cleaned and fully dressed again, you sighed in content, remembering what just happened. "I should get going."

Marilyn smiled sadly, stroking your cheek and giving you a yearning kiss. "Just don't forget me, okay?"

Licking your lips, you nodded. "I won't, I swear." With those last words, you unlocked the storage room and left, taking one last look at her before you headed for the party.

---

@h-doodles @gwens0girl

[blushblushbear]

SOOOOOO

Little Japanese lesson (even though I feel like most people know this by this point)

(also disclaimer my Japanese is awful but I know at least this stuff lol)

SO IN JAPANESE, you generally don't tell someone you LOVE them, but rather you LIKE them.

So Daisuki/suki (I like you) is more of a common way of putting it than Aishiteru (I love you).

Japanese is one of those languages where 'I Love You' is actually a REALLY big deal. I've actually heard a Japanese youtuber say it sounds like a death bed confession lol

shout out to romance anime who use this desiccation I LOVE WHEN WE JUMP FROM SUKI TO AISHITERU THAT SHIT IS MY JAM!

so with that being said-- Here's how our Japanese fox spirits would react to marshmallow telling them 'Aishiteru/Aishiteru yo' for the first time ever!

Aki:

You two were just kinda hanging out

Being goofs together

Goofs in love!

you had spent the day together and now you were watching the sunset on a roof top as you snuggled in close

He had said some goofy little joke and you were leaning on his shoulder laughing with that cute laugh of yours that made his heart swoon

He shifted into hopelessly in love mode and gently cupped your cheek in his hand, tilting your face up so he can gaze into your eyes

His expression was so soft and adoring

'I love you, Bunny' he said, meaning it with his whole being

you blushed, smiled and put your hand over his

You nodded and returned his gaze

'Aishiteru yo.'

The cycle of expressions he went through were all subtle but so powerful

a powerless melt at your confession, then a quick back and forth glance into your eyes to make sure you really meant it, followed by the warmest, happiest, most relieved and over joyed smile you'd ever seen from him

'Aishiteru.'

and one of the longest, deepest kisses you two ever shared

just to seal the deal

Haru:

admittedly he a bit drunk when you confessed this to him

not the drunkest you've seen him, but definitely giddy off his drink all the same

it wasn't even the close to one of your more romantic evenings

it was just one of those usual nights with Haru

he had declared he has wanted to celebrate life with you since you hadn't in a while

and threw in some extra justification that he wanted to show off the hottest creature that ever chose to be under his arm (with a little cheek kiss as some sugar on top)

you two had laughed the night away

Haru was a little more affectionate than usual but you could tell it's cause he was in a mood

not The Mood (though he was always in that too, if you were down)

but every now and then, Haru just decided he was just a little extra in love with you tonight

well less decided and more was just over taken with his feelings

he watched you a little bit more wistfully

his love struck gaze and adoring smile lingered a bit more

he didn't try to shake off how much he had just been staring when you returned your attention to him

lots of sweet nothings pouring from his lips all night

except they weren't nothings

it felt less like love bombing and more like something boiling over that he couldn't hold back anymore

you'd be talking to the bar tender and he'd be staring at you so hopelessly in love and you wouldn't even have noticed if not for the fact that he lifted your hand to his lips and had kissed the back of it

he was love drunk and he wasn't hiding an ounce of it that night

you'd be lying if you said you didn't understand or return the affection

so you two wondered into the night together

away from the noise and the lights and the people

his arm slung over you

eventually you passed a grassy field and he used his weight to pull you down onto it with him

he held you close and started kissing you on your cheek and neck but for some reason, it felt like he was doing so with only the purest of intentions

his hands stayed on you but they didn't wander, only held you closer

you chuckled 'someone's affectionate tonight'

'well,' he said, pulling your hand to his lips and giving it another kiss, 'someone's too beautiful tonight for me not to be'

you scoffed, 'flatter.' you accused.

'hmm, true,' he kissed your wrist now, 'you're honestly this beautiful every night. but I guess it just---' he let out a chuckle that sounded almost nervous, looking deep into your eyes with a sudden shyness that took you by surprise, 'I guess it just... got to me tonight...' He pressed the hand he was holding to his cheek and nuzzled into it, hoping to hide from the sudden vulnerability he felt in the warmth of your palm

and then it washed over you

the feeling of affection, of tenderness, of absolute undying love you had for this idiot trying to hand himself in your hands

you gently took his cheek and moved his face so his eyes met yours

with you gaze loving and your smile soft, you uttered the words.

'Aishiteru.'

Haru looked shocked

well and truly

he blinked rapidly as he tried to catch his breathe

'W-wait really?!' he grabbed your shoulders

you nodded, and he shot up bringing you with him

his hands were still on your shoulders, though they felt like they were shaking a bit

he looked a panicked mix of scared and hopeful as he asked again, almost weakly

'Really...??'

You laughed, putting your hand to his cheek again

'Really Haru.'

he nuzzled into your palm again, this time he wore a relieved smile as tears began to roll down his cheeks

His hands shot up to your wrists, holding your hand closer to his cheek

'I--- holy shit, I can't....' he finally opened his eyes to look at you

there were still tears in them and he had never looked more scared and vulnerable and wholeheartedly in love than in this moment

'I love you too--- Aishiteru'

and he kissed your palm, almost in gratitude

Fuyu:

the night was quiet

you and Fuyu sat, snuggled in together, sharing a blanket and each with a cup of tea warm in your hands as you watched the stars twinkle in the sky

the conversation was hushed and intimate though the subject was nothing all that remarkable

Fuyu had pulled a poem about the stars from thin air and you had responded by laughing and snuggling into him

'I love when you do that' you had said dreamily

and as you did so, something overtook him

spurred on by your words, your warmth, the feeling within his heart

he found himself moving without a second thought

he put his hands on your shoulders and pulled your attention towards him

'I love you too' he said, sounding both like a confession and a sudden realization as to how much he meant it

'Aishiteru.'

His gaze was deep and loving as he said this to you. A feeling that came up from deep within him and that he refused to even ATTEMPT to deny

you were taken aback for a moment, but only a moment

before you returned his soft gaze, hands resting on his chest

you nodded as one of your hands slid across his chest and came to rest over his heart

'Aishiteru' you returned

he let out a gasp of relief before his hand moved from your shoulder, up your neck and to the back of your head

he pulled you in and you both melted willingly into each others forms as you shared a kiss, deep and passionate

[darkleysgarden]

Push and Pull

Characters: Lloyd

Ship: Greenflower (Lloyd x Brad)

Type: Angst, hurt no comfort

Summary: The thing is, Lloyd never knows how to feel in his relationship with Brad.

(I'm aware this might be ooc and stuff. I wrote this to vent. I do think they are healthier than this and enjoy the ship a lot.)

☆

Having a relationship as the green ninja with a regular civilian was hard.

Lloyd had known Brad for... forever really. They were friends before Lloyd even knew he was the green ninja. About a year ago they decided to reconnect and had started dating.

Lloyd loves Brad so much. And Brad loves Lloyd. Everything was so perfect at first. But everything always has to go rocky.

Brad focused solely on Lloyd for a good while. Everything was great.

He had always had issues with love. People came and went. He taught himself that love was temporary. He had fans who loved him. But they didn't know him. And the people who knew him were often surface level. Or they unintentionally belittled him. They never saw him as more than a kid.

He had been isolated for so long. Stuck in a school full of kids who left him out and disliked him. The ninja wouldn't let him see other kids. Friends betrayed or didn't stay. Nobody was consistent. And most saw him for little more than the green ninja. If any more at all.

But, not Brad. Brad knew him before that. Brad always stuck with him. He saw him for more than anyone else. They had this mutual love and understanding. Lloyd had never met anyone like Brad.

Lloyd had admittedly bombarded Brad with love when they first started dating. And he was content to keep that going. Maybe even forever if Brad would let him. And Brad always enjoyed that. He was happy and felt very loved. Loved in a way he hadn't received before.

And Lloyd would receive the love he required back. And they were happy.

But things went slower and Lloyd wasn't ready. He freaked out. He knew relationships had slow spots. He'd seen Jay and Nya before. He knew how things worked.

Yet, he couldn't help but be worried.

What if Brad misunderstood his feelings and just thought of them as friends? What if he fell out of love? What if he realized Lloyd was nothing like what he wanted?

All these questions popped into Lloyd's mind and threatened to make him burst.

He didn't want to say anything. He would make slight hints to Brad. Brad was always so kind and he'd make an effort to do more but then it would slow back down. And then Brad would ask him for space and say he wanted Lloyd to do less and be less.

This was even worse for him. Brad made him feel authentic. Like he could truthfully be himself. It was crushing everytime he tried to show he loved Brad and would be met with some kind of dismay.

It was rough. Lloyd felt horrible day after day. And it was even worse because with missions he was often kept physically away from Brad. The ninja would ask what was wrong and he'd say it was nothing.

It piled up into fights. So many fights.

They came out with Brad trying to do better. And things were so much better for a long time. Until they'd get worse again.

Lloyd never wants to fight like that again. He hates going in circles. He hates fighting. He doesn't want the issues.

He hangs out with Brad and there are times he feels upset and knows Brad can't tell. He does the most trying to prompt Brad to do something and gets met with nothing. He tries to be happy with the minimal effort. Lloyd notices Brad always putting him on the back burner. Brad wants everything before him. Lloyd would stop in the middle of a mission to call Brad, threatening his life. And Brad would reject the idea of talking for anything. Everything goes before him.

Sometimes Lloyd feels like Brad just knows he will stay and doesn't care to put in the effort. He's stopped putting in the effort and acts like everything is fine when it's not. Why is Lloyd always his last focus when Brad is Lloyd's only focus?

He hears phrases get passed around so often. They stick in his mind like glue and make him feel even worse.

The busiest person will make time for you. Because if he wanted to ge would. You shouldn't have to change the way you behave at your core for someone else. You aren't too clingy they just love you less than you love them.

All these stupid words swarm his head. Making him land on one single thought so often.

Am I not good enough?

Is he just not worth the effort or love? Does Brad really just not love him as much as he loved Brad?

Will Lloyd ever become the priority Brad says he is?

Because it feels like a chore to Brad. A chore to talk to him and a chore to deal with him.

And in the end Lloyd can only blame himself and try and change for Brad.

Because Lloyd can only picture the future with him in it. There's no future without Brad. Lloyd wouldn't be able to live without Brad by his side. It sounds like dumb love. It's not. Lloyd cannot physically live without him. His entire life would be ruined.

If Brad really wanted to leave, Lloyd would let him. He wouldn't despise him. He wouldn't cause drama and make everything horrible between them.

But, he never wants to live that life.

Because in truth, most days are good days. Wonderful even. He loves Brad more than he loves himself. And Brad is more than worthy of that love. He loves Brad like he's the breath in his body.

Their relationship is so strong and healthy. It's great.

Even if Lloyd feels useless sometimes. In the end Brad just doesn't know how to love Lloyd in the way he wants to be loved. And Lloyd doesn't want to force him to change.

Brad likes to disconnect and be his own person and do whatever he wants and live his life day to day. He doesn't want to have his relationship as his main focus.

But that's just not how Lloyd is. And it really hurts to be the one always yearning. The one doing the most and receiving little back.

It isn't Brad's fault he is this way. He's been doomed. His father gave him love as a weakness and his mother showed him the toxicity of love.

He has been doomed as someone who loves far too strongly. So strongly it hurts him and others. So strongly he feels suffocated.

And it's nobodies fault, really.

Lloyd just requires so much.

And Brad didn't need to give him that. Even if it hurt sometimes.

Because one day they'd live peacefully together and everything will be perfect. And Lloyd would laugh about how insecure he was that first year. It would all be a ghost of the past.

They will grow.

But for now, Lloyd just has to stay and hope.

Because he doesn't want to say anything. Even if asked.

He'd be with Brad forever. And he would love as strongly as possible that entire time. Even if Brad forgets to say 'I love you'. Even if he never wants to spend time with Lloyd.

Because he loves him. Brad loves him so much. They are so happy together.

Lloyd can just only hope things get better.

[nohoperadio]

I was kind of irritable and low-mood at work today, to the point where--well I don't think I was a dick to anyone, but I was putting noticeably less effort into being positive and agreeable with people than I normally would. I was also putting less effort into being positive in my own, like, internal monologue I guess?

I feel like maybe that sounds tautologous, being less positive inside your head is just what low-mood means right, but I don't think it is actually. In normal circumstances, if there's an unpleasant task to do or some piece of annoying bad luck has occurred or something of that general nature is happening, I'm devoting some portion of my mental energies towards making myself see the situation in a constructive light: try to focus on what can be done instead of dwelling on bad shit that can't be undone, and if I catch myself going over in my mind how this is totally so-and-so's fault and why are they such a dick etc. then I'll tell myself to knock it off and try to move on to a more pleasant train of thought; also tons of smaller mental motions than that, too small to describe. All these pat clichés everyone knows, serenity prayer stuff. It works a good amount of the time, I think I may be uncommonly good at it actually (possibly too good at it in some situations, maybe that's a different selfpost), being calm is usually a thing I can pull off without much trouble, outside of certain (admittedly pretty significant) specific anxiety triggers.

But today I felt like I lacked the emotional energy to do that, and I made an almost conscious decision that I just wasn't going to bother with any of it, so like if I'm doing an unpleasant task I'll just let the thought "ugh this sucks" have the floor for as long as it wants, if someone's being annoying I'll just let myself hate them and not bother reminding myself how they're actually a lovely person most of the time, and so on. And like--this didn't result in a dramatically different day from normal, to be clear. Largely because there wasn't actually that much bad stuff happening, it was a pretty chill day objectively, it's not like I'm constantly having to repress a flood of negative thoughts in my daily life (not lately anyhow!). But it's interesting to me how--when I made that decision, that I wasn't going to try to think positively for the day, I could feel the mental muscles that would normally be in charge of that relaxing. Like there was a certain vigilance that's usually being kept up in my head constantly that was given explicit permission to take a day off, and there was (ironically!) a different kind of calm feeling that came with that, which I don't think I feel very often. There was a peaceful feeling in there, co-existing with the overall bad mood, that was comparable to unclenching a muscle you hadn't noticed you'd been holding tight for a long time.

Why do I find this interesting? Well just on the most abstract level it's an example of how stuff like "mood" isn't one-dimensional: in this example I was experiencing a negative mood, and that meant I couldn't be bothered to maintain a particular way of thinking, and turning off that way of thinking had (among other effects!) an effect that felt positive. A positive feeling that's causally downstream of a negative feeling and wouldn't have emerged without the negativity: there's probably all kinds of counterintuitive little interactions like that going down in our psyches all the time, and probably a much broader variety of different non-overlapping axes along which we can feel good or bad, which we tend to smush all together into an "average" mood that's maybe more of an abstraction than we realize.

On a more concrete, personal level: I don't know, there might be some stuff about how I'm too scared of negativity and could stand to let the impatient disagreeable bitch inside me have a little more air. Maybe some shit like that is something that's true. Yeah idk this is the part of self-analysis where I usually start to get bored.