#admittedly i wasn't really trying for sass this time around

[leighsartworks216]

Hellooooo i have a request for Astarion that like

I’m dying to see:

Gn! Druid Tav that had small petty fight with Astarion, Astarion being his stubborn self didn’t apologize ~properly~ or acknowledge he was wrong, tries to pretend the fight didnt happen and chat with Tav, Tav shapeshifts into a cat to avoid talking to him and fights sass with sass and Astarion melts at Tav being adorable😭?

I finished writing this and then was like,, I forgot it's not normal for partners to like scold each other by pinching them and stuff?? My ex used to do shit like that so I just forgot that wasn't normal. So I'm just going to clarify that in this story it's not malicious or anything like that. If it makes you uncomfortable tho I am 100% willing to rewrite it so that's not there at all

Warnings: swearing, scratching

Word Count: 759

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Astarion sits beside you as though it’s just any other day. He’s got that damn suave smirk on his face - you can just feel it radiating off of him without even needing to see. You try not to visibly bristle and turn your head further away from him. It was best to just wait it out and maybe he’d finally suck up his damn pride long enough to apologize. Maybe.

“So, darling,” he makes sure to really emphasize the word, drawing it out sweetly, “in the interest of keeping myself in peak fighting form, I’m inclined to ask if you would be ever so kind as to let me dine with - or rather - on you tonight.”

You huff a dry laugh. Sharp, short, but lacking genuine amusement. You don’t say anything. Instead, you focus on patching up one of your shirts.

He leans close to you, hovering just over your shoulder. His chest just barely grazes your arm and his breath ghosts across your ear and neck. Was this bastard really trying to seduce you? At a time like this? “Please, dear heart? I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You glance over your shoulder, to make sure he can see the dead-pan look on your face. “No.” You pull the thread taught. Admittedly, you tug a little more than necessary, bunching up the fabric. Astarion definitely notices. He always does.

“Don’t tell me you’re still upset about earlier?” he chides.

You turn to face your back fully to him, forcing him to move back. You smooth out the bunches of fabric and roughly, messily, continue the next few stitches. He sighs dramatically.

“Come on, love, that was hours ago! All I said was your stitches aren’t even!”

You scoffed and angrily wrinkled your shirt in your lap as you whirled around to face him. “You said my stitches weren’t even and that they were ugly! I have been fixing my clothes my whole life - this is the most efficient stitch to ensure it doesn’t unravel!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to leave a mile between stitches!”

Fuck this. If he doesn’t want to apologize, the least you can do is give him a taste of his own catty fighting style.

One moment, you’re a perfectly humanoid being. The next, you’ve shrunken to less than a foot off the ground. Your back arches, your tail fluffs and sticks straight up, and you bare pointed canines at him as a scratchy hissing comes from your throat. Astarion can hardly feel threatened by a feline.

“Now you’re just being childish,” he scoffs. You jump forward to dig your claws into his leg. “Ow! Hey, that’s not fair!”

He grabs you by your middle and lifts you up. Your claws are removed from his skin, but they continue to pull on his pants.

“You’re going to rip my pants!”

You squirm from his hold, releasing his pants in the process, and land back on the ground. You sit next to your abandoned, half-fixed shirt, back turned to the vampire once more. Your tail flicks side to side in irritation.

Astarion rubs his leg and checks that there’s no lasting damage. There isn’t, of course. Even your claws were mere pinpricks compared to what damage you could do with them, and you’d never willingly destroy his belongings, no matter how pissed at him you were. And even though you are pissed at him, he still can’t help but admire you.

You’re upset, but you’re not physically assaulting him until he apologizes. You pinch him, give him a little scratch - sure. But that pain fades, at most leaving a small mark that fades in a day. You’re so utterly, bafflingly kind to him. Even when he’s being a dick.

He reaches out and scratches just behind your ear. Your ear twitches, but otherwise you show no reaction to his touch. He sighs. “I’m sorry for insulting your handiwork, my dear. You know your work better than anyone, and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Your tail continues flicking back and forth a moment longer. But then you relent. You turn around and press your cheek into his hand, which he gladly glides along your soft fur. He’d asked once what it felt like to be pet like this. You’d said it was like a massage; like someone was scratching an itch you just couldn’t reach.

You step into his lap and plop right down, rubbing yourself into his abdomen with loud purrs. He chuckles. “Oh you sweet thing,” he coos. “What have I done to deserve you?”

---

Tag List:

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @lynnlovesloki @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @mheerdraws @kindadolly @httyd-chocolate @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge��� Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[questforgalas]

Favorite sibling moments that made me fall in love with The Bad Batch during their TCW Arc - "Unfinished Business"

Not nearly as much screen time with the Batch this episode, but some of the greatest gems (if ya know, ya know)

"Please tell me we are blowing something up" Hunter's very subtle chuckle

Crosshair narrowing his eyes at Anakin like "please for the love of god just let him blow something up"

Hunter and Crosshair's looks between each other when Hunter says "And the regs think we take risks"

"Tech, can you rig an interface?" "I assume that's a rhetorical question" Tech babe he's only been around you for a day stop sassing your future bestie

The teamwork between Tech and Echo while rigging the signal - they weren't even a squad yet but they flowed together so seamlessly

Hunter and Tech's looks when Echo explains his plan

"Was there ever any doubt?" "Some" TECH. HON. 😂 Be nice to your future bestie!

Wrecker handing Hunter his rifle with no words and Hunter accepting it because he knows what's about to happen

"Time to release the wrecking ball!" "Honestly, I feel bad for those droids"

They literally cannot be more proud of each other's abilities and skills it kills me

"Ohhh! He's gonna try and top me. You watch!" again, sibling competition combined with the little chuckle during "You watch!" - he's so proud of Crosshair

"You miss me?"

"RELAX WRECKER YOU'LL TOP HIM NEXT TIME" "NO HE WON'T" i 👏 love 👏 them 👏 so 👏 much

(please please Jennifer I'm begging you, give them back to me)

Crosshair's hand-on-the-hip head shake as Anakin hands Wrecker the detonator

The seamless sentence add-ons when Echo asks them why they're not following the Jedi

Tech's smile growing bigger as Crosshair and Wrecker speak

Hunter's constant look of fondness at his brothers (I actually cannot handle it anymore I need them back together)

Wrecker and Tech's warm smiles at Echo as Hunter invites him to join the squad

CROSSHAIR'S SMILE AND NOD AT ECHO WHEN HUNTER SAYS "well, find us"

(listen, I'm such a Crosshair softy and especially when he was going down the arc he was in season 1, I admittedly dug up and grasped onto anything I could to prove that he loved his brothers and the empire arc wasn't permanent for him so yes that moment when I caught it during a rewatch really stuck out to me)

(I also grasp onto anything happy to counter the sadness in Rex's face as he walks away from Echo ok?)

Moral of the story: JENNIFER AND BRAD I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING TO HAVE THIS DYNAMIC BACK I CANNOT BEG YOU ENOUGH

Wow wow wow this really made me miss these boys and love and appreciate them even more even though we're literally only 4 days after season 2 ending. Thinking I'm going to do a whole TBB series rewatch and do this for each episode and then schedule the posts weekly. That'll at least be 30 weeks of positive TBB content and possibly ease the ache a little

[luimagines]

I really quickly wana say that I absolutely love your writing, its very different and unique. Could you do a scenario of the boys confessing while the reader is seriously injured or upset?

Masterlist

So you all want Link to Confess?

You want it to be filled with tension?

I can do that.

This will once again be split up. This part will include Legend, Four and Time.

Content under the cut.

Legend

“I can’t.” You say. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this with you.”

Legend bite his lip at your words. His hands are clenched into fists at his side and he looks away from you painfully. He doesn’t know why it’s come down to this or how you both even got here to begin with.

You don’t notice. You wipe your eyes harshly with your fist and sniffle loudly. “I don’t want to fight you. I’m not fighting you. I’m done. I’m done.”

You gulp and turn on your heel taking a few steps away before Legend can even get his words out of his mouth.

“No. Wait. Please.” He chokes on them and nothing else leaves his mouth for a solid minute.

You’re waiting for him to continue. 

He knows it. 

He doesn’t know why he can’t get his words out. Out of all the times for his words and his throat close off, this is the last place he wants it to happen.

You don’t look back at him.

He gulps and his hands lifts out to you against his consent. Legend can feel his tear build up behind his eyes. There’s something in his gut that’s telling him to move, to act, because it’s his last chance. If he screws this up then your relationship is beyond repair.

He knows it.

You take a deep breath and he can see you fold over yourself, no doubt crying silently at this whole exchange.

You sniffle loudly again and shake yourself off.

“Link...” You say and he’s never hated the way you say his own name so much. There’s so much pain... resignation... and finality. “I can’t let you keep hurting yourself like this. I can’t. I know you’re doing this for me but I hate it. I care about you too much to see you take hit after hit and for you to act like it’s not a big deal.”

“But-”

“NO!” You yell and your voice cracks with it. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t bare to see how little you care about yourself. How little you think everyone thinks of you. And then when I try to tell you, you just yell at me. Tell me that it’s not my business. Tell me that I underestimate you. Tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about or that I can’t tell you what to do. AND I KNOW I CAN’T. But I... I can’t...I just can’t...”

Legend can feel his tears run down his face and he has to unstick his feet from where he stands to make his way over to you.

You still don’t look back.

“By the stars, you have to hate me with how annoying I’ve been.”

Legend can feel more tears spill at your confession. I don’t hate you, he thinks. I could never hate you. How could anyone hate you?

“And even then I know I’m the last person you want to hear this from and it just makes it worse each time this happens but I....” You heave and it’s painful to hear because it sounds like your fighting for your life. “I’m the only one who says anything and I don’t know why and I don’t care what the group may think but this hurts. This hurts, Link. And I don’t think you care.”

Legend stops behind you, his heart bleeding with every tear he knows you’re shedding. But he still can’t bring himself to make his voice work.

“I have to leave.”

No.

“I can’t be here anymore.”

Please.

“I can’t look at your face and let this happen.”

Don’t leave me.

“Next town over, I’m staying there. I don’t care how far away I’d be from my home. I’ll find my own way back. You lot can keep fighting the darkness without me.”

“Don’t go.” Legend finds his voice again but it’s quiet and he doubts that you even hear him. So he says it again, trying to be louder. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”

His hands grips your sleeve but he can’t tell when he got so close to you.

“Don’t say that.” You snap and turn your face away from him, ripping your arm away from him. “Don’t say that like you care.”

“I do care!”

“You don’t!”

“I do!”

“I don’t believe you!”

“But I love you!” Legend shouts and his own intensity scares him for a moment.

You both freeze and a fragile stillness blankets the air.

You finally look at him again and blink. You look miserable and he knows it’s his fault. You try to blink away any remaining tears and bravely face him head on. He’s the one who nearly chickens out and looks away but this is too important. He owes you this much. He has to see this through to the end now.

You bite your lip and whisper. “What did you say?”

“Of course I care.” He chokes on his own spit and he knows that this is the make or break. His final chance to win you over or he’ll risk losing you forever. He can’t afford to let his own words fail him. “I care because I love you. I fight for you because I love you. I take those hits because I love you. I don’t think I can handle a reality where you’re hurt. I’d take every hit for you if I could. If it would just mean that-”

“Well don’t.” You snap. 

Legend’s heart drops to his stomach at your words and he thinks this is it. He’s lost. There’s no coming back from this.

“Stop taking my hits.” You sniffle and rub your eyes again. “God... Link, you’re so stupid.”

“I... I just-” Legend looks away as he loses his nerve.

“I love you too.” You admit and his neck almost cracks with how fast he looks back up at you.

“I love you so much, you stupid idiot.” You laugh. It’s wet and weak but you’re laughing. “If you hate to see me hurt, how much do you think I hate seeing you hurt?”

“It’ll hurt more to see you leave than every hit I’ve ever taken in my life.” Legend blinks away more tears. You’re both ugly crying and nothing about this is pretty but Legend feels just the smallest ray of hope in his heart that maybe you’ll stay and let him love you.

Maybe you’ll love him in return.

It’ll be more than what he’ll ever ask for.

“Don’t go.” He tries again. “Please don’t go.”

“I don’t want to go.” You fall to your knees. Legend is quick to fall with you and he places his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright. “I don’t want to leave this group. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave at all.”

“Then don’t.” Legend’s voice cracks this time instead. “Don’t leave. Stay. Stay with me. Please. I’d do anything.”

“Stop getting hurt idiot. That’s all I’m asking.” You snap and place your hands on his face.

Legend leans into your touch and you wipe away his tears with your thumb. “I don’t think I can make that promise.”

“Then don’t get hurt on my account. Promise me.” You press. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” Legend sighs and picks at his sleeve, tugging it into his palm to wipe away your tears. “I just want you safe so you don’t have to.”

“I’m already traveling with the group. I don’t think that can be helped.” You snort and move closer to him. You wrap your arms around him and hold him close, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

Legend’s heart is absolutely pounding in his chest right now. He’s almost certain that you know it with where your ear is. He wraps his arms around you as well, holding you as tight as he can. “I love you.”

You grin against him. “I love you too.”

Four

Somewhere in the dungeon Four has lost everyone around him.

He doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t know where the group is. And he doesn’t know how exactly to get back to you- the group. Back to the group.

“Hello!” He hears you call. “Anyone nearby?! Time! Sky! Four!”

Four’s heart begins pounding and against his better judgment he begins to sprint over to where he heard you call. He so badly wants to see you. To see that you’re ok. That you’re alright.

You’re not ok.

He can see you... but you’re not you.

Kinda, technically- Four’s not actually not sure what he’s looking at right now only that it’s bad.

For one thing, you’re looking at him with a large smile on your face. There’s a bloodied knife in your hand and a whole lot of blood by your feet. Behind you is an open room, with ropes hanging from the ceiling and what looks to be shelves of multiple sharp metal items on top of them.

Four’s heart going from pounding to a full stop. There’s something off about you. There’s a trail of blood going from your forehead down to your chin and multiple dark patches of what can only be more blood on your clothes.

Four says your name as he takes a step back. “What happened to you?”

Why are your eyes completely black?

“Four.” He hears you say and it’s his worse nightmare.

Mostly because your voice doesn’t come from the person in front of him.

The being in front of him take a side step and he can see where you are.

You’re what’s hanging from the ropes, blood pooling underneath you as it weeps around your binds. You look tired and horrible. Four’s heart jump starts into his throat and he’s not sure for a second whether he’s going to cry or vomit.

“Holy Hylia...”

“Four. Run.” You say from your binds. “Get out of here! Find the others! Go- Go on without me! ...I’ll be ok”

He doubts that.

Four reaches for his sword and takes a stance in front of your evil twin. 

“Four don’t.” You try to fight the ropes but you’re too weak. On top of that you’re too high up. Even if you could get out, Four’s afraid the fall might be enough to break your bones. “Don’t do it! It’s too strong for just one person. Go get the others!”

“And leave you behind to this thing?” Four shouts and adjusts his grip on his blade. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh yes please.” The monster says in your voice. “It’s been so long since I’ve had anybody to play with.”

Before his eyes, Four sees this monster shift downward and wobble in its illusion and soon his own face is staring back at him- eyes just as black as before.

“Show me what you can do.” It’s in his voice now with a sword that looks just like his.

The similarity of the situation is not lost on Four and he hates that it’s come to this.

Four growls and strikes at the alien. It parries without much trouble and grins.

There’s a rage bubbling under his skin as he attacks and blocks and tries his hardest to knock this monster back into the room. He ignores the slick floor. He ignores your cries for him to stop and run. He ignores the thought that you’d were alone when you fought a losing battle. He ignores how he wasn’t there to save you. He ignores how no one was there to save you. He ignores everything except how you’re hurt and how you’re stuck and how you’re crying.

Four can’t seem to get a hit in this beast. It matches him with every beat- every strike- every block and Four’s frustration builds as every second passes with neither side gaining ground.

Four backflips away from a particularly dangerous strike and raises his sword skyward- banking on the fact that this monster wouldn’t have been able to copy the magic within his blade without it’s knowledge and attacks with more energy than before.

Blue, Green and Red attack the monster without mercy, covering where one fails with practiced efficiency.

Vio dances around the battle and begins looking for a way to get you down.

You’ve stopped struggling for a while once fight started and he’s worried that you may have lost too much blood.

Vio takes one look around and finds a gear which connects to the rope. He dashes over to it and begins to painstakingly push and pull to get the system in place to put you on the ground once more.

He looks over to where his brothers are and find that they’ve cornered the beast without any way of it breaking out of their square. He sees it panic- clearly not anticipating their split- nor is it able to replicate it and can see how it’s losing the fight.

Your feet touch the ground and you don’t even have the strength to hold yourself up anymore.

Your head hangs low and your completely limp as he continues to lower you.

Vio gulps and keep lowering the rope until your head has touched the ground as gently as he can manage.

“NOW DIE YOU TWO FACED, SHAPE SHIFTING, PUDDLE OF-” Blue screams from the other side of the room, followed by Green and Red as they finish off whatever vile creature it was.

Vio takes out his knife and begins to cut as many of the ropes as he can to release you. As he’s doing this, he’s calling your name, trying to not give in to impulse and shake you to get a response but the lack of one concerns him greatly.

Red appears by his side not a moment later and begins to pour what looks like a healing potion over you.

Green jumps over you three and spins on his heel on your other side, taking out their last fairy and setting it free over you. 

With the potion and the fairy working on healing what they can, Blue comes up behind all of them and growls. “I can’t believe this.”

“Blue-”

“NO! It’s not-!”

“Four...” You groan and reach your hand out. Green is quick to take it and pull it close to his chest. 

He looks at the others for a moment before swallowing. “I’m here.”

“Link...” You call and take a deep breath. All the colors can hear the amount of effort it take to inhale and how it barely fills your lungs.

“We should merge.” Vio whispers and reaches behind him for his sword.

Green nods and holds it up, waiting for the others to join. Red follows quick without a fuss and Blue joins after a tense moment of studying you. Four is left where Green was placed, sword raised and holding your hand.

His mind is loose and memories from the last fifteen minutes flood through his brain as he tries to stitch it back together.

“Link.” You call again and he leans down placing a chaste kiss on your hand. 

Thinking is very hard right now but he can get enough movement synched up to complete some sort of action to tell you that he’s here.

“You’re ok.” You mumble and grip him ever so slightly. The potion seems to be doing it’s job and the fairy continues to hover over you as it tends to your wounds.

“You’re ok.” Four finds himself saying. “You’re going to ok. Just hang a bit, ok?”

Four realizes a little belatedly that he has no other items to give you that would help. That was his last fairy and there’s no potions left either. Not to mention that it’s still just the two of you and he doesn’t like the idea of leaving you to go get help. 

“I am... So tired.” You say and take another breath.

“No. Don’t sleep.” Four whimpers. “Don’t sleep. You won’t wake up.”

“Four... I can’t even open my eyes.” You sigh. “You’ll watch over me, right? And we can wait for the others?”

“Don’t sleep.” He stresses, mind clearing as the panic seeps in. “Talk to me. Say something. How did you even meet that monster? What was it?”

“I don’t know...” Your voice trails away.

Four says your name, tears pooling in his eyes. “You can’t do this to me. I have nothing left to give you. You can’t die here.”

You don’t reply.

Four says your name again with more urgency, tugging your hand and beating it against his chest. “Come on. Say something, anything- please I can’t do anything else!”

You sigh and Four doesn’t see your chest rise again.

“No.” He cries and folds on your chest, pushing the fairy away even as it’s working. “No. You can’t leave me. You can’t leave like this. I never got to tell you. I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I should have been faster. I should have tried to find you faster or find anyone. I’m sorry you were alone.”

“Four I’m not dead.” You mumble.

Four shoot up and cradles your face with his free hand, his grip tightening on your own exponentially. For a moment he feels like slapping you for the scare but he’s too relieved to go through with it. “How dare you-”

“I had to gather my strength.” You explain. “I’m really close to sleeping but I think that fairy is keeping me awake.”

He lets a long breath go and folds over you again, placing his head over your heart. Your heart beat is strong and sturdy and Four could cry from the amount of relief that follows. “I thought I lost you there.”

“Did you mean it?” You mumble and weakly put your other hand in his hair. “Did you mean what you said?”

“What?”

“You said you love me.”

“I do.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why? I’m sorry.”

Four stops the incredulous laugh from overcoming his chest but he can’t stop the few tears that leave his eyes. “Are you asking me why I love you? Are you asking me to sing your praises? Because I will. I absolutely will. Don’t doubt me on this.”

“No, I believe you.” You smile and hum in contentment. “I love you too if that means anything.”

“It means everything.” Four chokes on his own breath and holds you close.

“Yay.” You place a kiss on his hair line and nuzzle him where you can. Your strength is slowly returning to you as the potion takes full effect and the fairy finally leaves you alone.

“Link?”

“Yes?

“Thank you. For saving me.”

“Thank you for not dying.” He grins.

“I have to live to give you all my love now. I don’t have the time to die.”

Time

Time was breathing hard as he lifts his shield to block an upcoming shot.

Metal clangs against metal. The brute force knocking him back enough that he has to dig his heels into the stone or else he’ll fall over. 

He grunts and pushes the beast away. He readjusts his sword in his hand and hunker downs further. 

The lizafos in front of him screeches in anger at the lack of damage done to him. Time nearly growls back at the monster in reply.

“Fowl beast.” Time spits instead. “This is where you fall.”

Time raises his arm to strike the creature until he hears you yell in anger.

You’re closer to him than he thought and the lizard sees the subtle eye shift on Time’s face. The lizard sees the opportunity and falls onto its four legs, dashing in your direction. 

Tim’s heart freezes and in a moment of desperation, he throws his sword in the direction of the monster. 

He can see everything slow down for this exact moment.

You strike your own monster down and turn around just in time to see the lizard rise up and unhinge its jaws. Time can see your eyes widen in fear and both of you make the calculation that you’re not going be able to block that attack in time. He sees his sword make contact with the monster right as the top row of teeth latch onto your tunic. The force from the blow sends the monsters careening away from you, the hooked teeth tearing at the fabric of your clothes. Ribbons of red fly from you and Time sprints in your direction.

“Time!” You shout and audibly gulp. He can see how shaken you are from that close call and you’re quick to place your back to his with your weapon out in front of you. “Bloody hell, was that you? I thought I was gonna have to have Legend sew me back together for a hot second. Stars, how hard did you throw that?”

Harder than was probably needed, Time admits in his head, reaching for his giant’s knife as you speak.

“Hard enough. Now focus.” He says.

“Right, right.” You twirl your blade in your hand, readjusting your grip and stance.

Time chances a glance behind him to look over to you. Your forearm is beginning to bleed profusely but your grip is still strong. You’re absolutely covered in dust and dirt alike from head to toe and appear to be sporting some blooming bruises under your chin and above one of your eyes.

Time can feel the frustration build up inside of him as he eyes the enemies down. He doesn’t doubt that he’s advertising his own injuries as he stands tall. He’s also doesn’t know where the rest of the boys are or if they’re handle it better that you both seem to be doing but he’s too focused on this fight in front of him to spend too much time on the thought.

The earlier lizalfos gets up again with Time’s original sword impaled right through it. The tip of the blade is poking out of the armor and it’s disconcerting how easily its still able to move around despite the major damage it should be doing to all its internal organs. From what little he can see, he can see black blood dribble down from his weapon onto the ground in front of him.

It’s infected.

Now he’s really glad he’s joined your side.

“Aces, how many are left?” He hears you ask over your heavy panting. He doesn’t think he’s the one you’re asking but he answers regardless.

“There can’t be that much left.” Time keeps his eye on the lizard, stepping ever so slightly to the side to keep the enemy’s eyes on him instead of you. He’s prepared to use his body as a shield if it meant your safety.

“Time.” You say and he can actually feel you lean against him. “I’m so tired.”

That’s probably the worst thing you could have said to him.

“You have to keep fighting.” He urges. “We’re not done yet.”

Time’s beginning to feel the buds of sheer terror for your well being.

“I know.” You sigh.

The lizard roars in his direction and charges toward you head on.

Time readies himself and times his swing. 

He knocks the lizard away again, cutting deeply into its side and nearly cutting off its arm in the process.

Time can feel you collide against him when another beast crashes into you and spins as fast as he can when you actually fall to the ground. He knocks the lower bokoblin away and reaches down to help you to your feet.

He grabs your shoulder and retracts his hand like he’s been burned.

His hand comes back covered in blood. All of the back of your neck is soaked and your hair is sticking in clumps because of it.

You have a deep head injury and he didn’t even know it.

The others are nowhere near you and there’s still an infected beast nearby with more monsters coming in behind you two.

Time thinks for a minute that this might actually it for him.

You won’t last much longer and Time can’t protect you with this many monsters flooding the area, even less so when there’s an infected one still standing.

You growl and try to hold yourself higher, to keep fighting, to keep going and defend.

He’s emboldened by your strive to go until the end and he focuses on the infected beast.

Time says with your name in the moment of pause, where both sides catch their breath.

“Yeah?” You reply breathlessly. 

“I need you to know something. It’s incredibly important that you know this.” Time grips his sword tight and swallows harshly.

“Now?”

“It’s now or never.”

“Time, you’re scaring me.”

“I love you.” He blurts out as confidently as he thinks he can manage. “I love you so much. On the chance that you make it out of here-” Because you will make it out of here, so help him- if the gods will grant him this one thing- “-I need you to know this. You need to know that I am completely in love with you.”

“Now?! You’re telling me this now?” You shout but he doesn’t turn around to look at you. The lizard is watching him, waiting for him to make a move. You call him again. “Link?”

You sound so quiet and weak. Time doubts that you’ll both actually get out of here.

“Link don’t do this to me. Not now. Not like this.” You sound on the verge of tears.

“Believe me, this not how I wanted this.” He admits and blinks away his own tears at the thought of it.

“Would you have ever told me if it didn’t come to this?” You ask and he goes to answer but the lizard get impatient and strikes first.

Time meets it halfway and blocks its attack. He’s quick to push it off and he belatedly hears you hop into your own fight once more. It’s already sounding difficult.

“Link!” He hears you cry and he nearly breaks down into sobs at how desperate you sound. “Time!”

He can’t go to you.

He can’t disengage.

“Link please!”

“I’m sorry.” He mummers. He knows you can’t hear him but he can’t risk the infected getting close to you.

“OH THANK GOD!” You shout and there’s the sounds of the boys.

Backup has arrived.

The split second in his distraction was what the lizard was waiting for. It strikes Time in his shoulder and he can’t stop the cry of agony that rips through him. It’s enough force that it knocks him onto the ground and to his knees. He picks up his sword and swing upwards slicing the beast through its armor and clicking against his other sword.

Wolfie comes up from the side and is quick to sink his teeth into the gizzard of the lizard, ripping and riding the beast down as it falls over. Time ditches his giant’s knife and jumps onto the beast next to the wolf. He reaches over despite his wound and grips the hilt of the impaled sword. 

In one swift movement he pulls it out and rams it through the head. He keeps stabbing until it is no longer moving. He sees one of the others come next to him and also begin stabbing the monster to hell and back.

He stops after what feels like an eternity and he’s struggling to breath. He wipes at his brow, nods to Wolfie and Sky, now that he sees him and spins on his heel to turn the rest of the group.

Hyrule, Legend and Wild are all crowding around you, each with their own manner of trying to heal your numerous injuries. Time feels relief flood his system and he falls to his knees, not caring if he stains his armor with the black blood that’s pooled beneath him.

He pauses to take his breath and he closes his eyes as the calm descends on the atmosphere.

“Time.” He hears you fight the others after a moment. “Where’s Time? I need to see Time. Where is he?”

“You’re covered in blood. You’re head isn’t even close to being fully healed.” Hyrule scolds.

“I have to yell at Time.” You speak.

“Don’t stand!”

“Where is he?”

“Sit down! We’re almost done!”

“I have to see him!” You cry and Time bites his lip at the desperation in your voice.

“I’m here.” He calls out. “Take care of yourself first. I’m not going anywhere.”

“No.” You reply and somehow make your way closer.

Time forces his eyes open and sits straighter when he sees you wobble your way over determinedly. You fight off anyone who tries to grab you or guide you to him, making your way to him by your own power.

He looks up at you, speechless and so full of hope and concern.

You fall onto your knees next to him and wrap your arms around his neck.

Time hisses slightly and pulls your arm away from his wound. You whine at the notion and readjust yourself to lay against his chest instead, hands by his collar bone instead and your head on his good shoulder. Time instinctually wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight, the weight of the fight lifted from his shoulders and what could have been from the front of his mind.

“Did we miss something?” Wind whispers from the back.

“Let them have this.” Warrior replies.

Relief flutters over his shoulder and the aches around his body. Time glances upwards for a moment to see Wild unleash a fairy and Hyrule on his knees next to the two of you.

You relax even more against him and sigh, stretching your head upwards. Your breath tickles the shell of his ear and Time has to suppress the shudder of pleasure that follows.

“I love you too Link.” You whisper and Time curls over you ever so slightly at your admission. “That was the worst timing in history. Never scare me like that again.”

He nods and you smile against his neck.

Feeling warm and giddy, Time finds himself smiling back and leans his head against yours.

You’re ok.

You’re both ok.

Part 2

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Blush

Adrien remembered what it felt like the first time he laid eyes on Kagami.

 

Or rather, the first time he saw her without her helmet. Adrien admitted he'd been cocky going into the fight. In his defense, he was like that with everyone.

 

Not like Kagami was any better. She'd been downright arrogant, marching in unannounced and demanding a match! It was incredibly attractive.

 

Their swords met and Adrien realized pretty quickly that Kagami's confidence was well earned. Their skills with a blade were born of years of practice. But he was no prodigy; she was.

 

None of his fencing teammates came close to Kagami's level and D'Argencourt was so far above him. Fighting someone on equal footing was... exhilarating. Being beautiful too was almost unfair.

 

Kagami was so stunning. Adrien still remembered his cheeks flushing and jaw dropping when she took off her helmet. He was so flustered his words came out in a stutter.

 

That was the first of many times Adrien would be left a flustered mess by Kagami.

 

It was part of the reason Adrien loved making Kagami blush. It was only fair he took every opportunity, as she didn't always react the same way twice. He was sure she'd be indifferent to it if he wasn't so persistent.

 

Kagami didn't mind blushing around him if it came naturally. Even if she was a bit shy about it... Apparently, trying to make her blush on purpose didn't count.

 

But really, gushing about Chat Noir like that was cheating! Particular emphasis was placed on his alter ego's determination. The way he never gave up, how he held the civilians' safety as top priority, his dedication to Ladybug...

 

And there he went again. Red as Nathaniel's hair. Well, if Adrien was gonna be a tomato, he wouldn't be the only one.

 

Mentioning Ryuko was fair game. Her skill with a sword, the way she protected the main duo, her ferocity against the villains. She was definitely competing for the title of Favorite Superhero. Plus, she had a cool outfit.

 

Kagami's reddening cheeks were definitely worth the effort.

 

Of course, she knew exactly what he was doing. It brought out her competitive nature. Even if Kagami didn't have as much practice in making people flustered on purpose, she made up for it by making every compliment count. Each one heartfelt enough to make Adrien flush.

 

He loved the feeling.

 

 

Kagami wasn't exactly sure why Adrien felt the need to make her face burn. But she wasn't about to let that stop her. His challenge would not go unanswered!

 

One would think Adrien would choose something he had an advantage in. Instead of... well, he was easily flustered. Face flushing at the smallest indication that Kagami returned his feelings. Even if he did recover quickly after the first few times.

 

Really, he turned red at the slightest provocation! The only reason Kagami didn't hopelessly outmatch him was because of her lack of experience in such matters... Though, he did have other advantages.

 

Differentiating between when her boyfriend was purposefully teasing her and when he was being his usual, compliment prone self was a bit of a chore for Kagami. Although, the latter was usually accompanied by a softer smile. The other one was far too mischievous.

 

Take their fencing matches for example. When they weren't sassing each other Adrien could praise her earnestly, with eyes full of admiration. Or he could praise Kagami specifically to make her face flush, with a smug smirk on his lips.

 

It really depended on his mood.

 

Still, she wouldn't change it at all. If a little teasing was the price for a boyfriend that placed her in such high regard, and constantly reminded her why he chose her, Kagami would gladly pay it. And respond in kind.

 

Getting Nino's help was tricky. She couldn't just say it was to mess with his best friend; he might take it the wrong way. No, Kagami had to be 'subtle'. Or, at least as close as she could get.

 

Under the, admittedly true, guise of learning more about Adrien she found great ammunition.

 

He was a romantic. She'd seen it, of course, but Kagami didn't realize just how much he was holding back. Nino had to talk him out of buying her dozens of bouquets, live bands for all their dates, visiting every remotely romantic locale in Paris...

 

Okay, that last one still sounded nice. And it gave her an idea.

 

 

"So!" Adrien inquired. "We going anywhere in particular?"

 

They walked beside each other through the park. Kagami had checked what spaces were relatively empty during this time so they wouldn't be disturbed. Plus, fewer eyes made her more comfortable.

 

"Here," Kagami replied, as they turned a corner. She gestured to a table covered with patterned cloth and a fancy centerpiece.

 

Adrien's eyes took in the arrangement appreciatively. "Candles?"

 

Kagami realized it was far too early for candles but she was committed now. "It's for aesthetic," she explained, which was technically true, and pulled out Adrien's chair for him.

 

He accepted graciously. "I like it," he smiled.

 

Sitting in her own chair Kagami averted her eyes as she attempted to fight down the blush that threatened to bloom on her face.

 

At that point the waiter appeared from nowhere and placed their appetizer down before disappearing back where he came from.

 

Blinking in surprise Adrien's head turned from the waiter to their bread-filled bowl. "If you wanted to go on a 'picnic' you could've just asked."

 

"But then it wouldn't be a surprise," Kagami reasoned. "And you've already planned a disproportionate number of our dates."

 

"I'll make sure to let you plan the next few then," he teased.

 

The waiter returned with two plates of spaghetti and meatballs, the steam indicating it was freshly prepared, and two tall glasses of water. He set them down before vanishing again.

 

"Spaghetti! It's been forever since I've... eaten..." His eyes went over the checkered tablecloth and stylized centerpiece. Adrien stared as understanding dawned in his eyes. "I know this one."

 

Kagami pretended not to know what he meant while blowing on a forkful of food. "Do you?"

 

Leaning casually on the table Adrien played with some of his food. "You know," he stated not-so-innocently. "Romantic dinners usually take place at night."

 

"... I thought the musicians could use more light."

 

"Accordion and violin?" Adrien asked, even as said musicians came into view and began to play a familiar song. "Thought so," he grinned.

 

"Have I really become so predictable?" Kagami watched as her boyfriend closed his eyes to savor the music, his head swaying slightly.

 

"Remember our last training session? When you told me I was announcing my moves I realized the same was true of you." He opened his eyes slightly to peak at his girlfriend. "We know how to read each other too well."

 

"I see." Kagami felt heat spread across her face. "I shall endeavor to not project my intentions so openly."

 

"... Why?"

 

That was an excellent point and it deepened her rose hue. "This was supposed to be part of your game."

 

"Then..." Adrien reached for his glass and drank, seemingly unconcerned. "You weren't just trying to be romantic?"

 

The music continued, rising and falling as Kagami collected her thoughts. "I enjoy seeing you blush. Perhaps not as much as you but I do. The game was always fun even when you teased me because it was a way to express your, our, emotions without feeling like we were moving too fast."

 

Kagami disliked this awkwardness that made her avert her eyes. It made voicing her thoughts difficult. "I followed the game because I couldn't let you win unopposed, yes. But also because knowing I have such an effect on you means you feel the same way I do. It makes it easier to say 'I love you' and-"

 

A soft gasp brought Kagami's sight back to Adrien. He was beet red and staring at her with big, vulnerable eyes. All trace of his nonchalant act gone.

 

"Do you... mean that?"

 

"... You have to ask?"

 

Adrien smiled shyly and reached for her hand. Kagami returned the gesture. His reaction calmed the fluttering in her stomach and her face didn't burn as strongly.

 

"I love you, too." It wasn't the first time Adrien said it but that did not diminish it's effect on her.

 

Kagami smiled as she looked away. The musicians kept playing throughout their little display as though nothing had happened. This hadn't gone according to plan but...

 

They finally got around to tasting their meal. Adrien mmmh-ing appreciatively and giving compliments to the chef. Their conversation flowed naturally after their awkward start. Kagami asked how he could praise people for their virtues so easily.

 

He turned his head slightly, confused and said: "It's true though, isn't it?"

 

And it was. Adrien didn't give compliments he didn't mean. When the musicians finished a song he clapped earnestly, when Kagami told him of her recent victory against an archery rival he praised her unreservedly, when the waiter returned to take their empty plates Adrien thanked him for a job well done.

 

As the sun began to set they finally had reason to light the candles. Despite there still being plenty of light.

 

Kagami smiled at Adrien and he gave her one of his own. No, the day didn't go as she expected. But she wouldn't change a thing.

@adrigami-week

[vei-saretti]

Part two of "Let's roast Attack of the Clones"!

The Lars' take Anakin's sudden appearance very well, if they didn't know about him before. And this is really the only time Owen and Beru met Anakin? Man, how unfortunate...

Anakin's story is so unbelievably tragic. He leaves his mother as a child, knowing he's to become a Jedi, and promises to free her knowing he very much could. But instead, he comes back to find her just for her to die in his arms. After thinking of her every day for 10 years, planning and hoping for that day he can return and free her. God, it's depressing.

Ok but the scene when Padmé brings Anakin food and he rages and tells her he killed the Tuskens is AMAZING acting from Hayden. I love this scene. And it's just good on a storytelling level too. "I'm a Jedi. I know I'm better than this." There's so much to that line, especially the way Hayden delivers it, like damn.

Obi-Wan spinning like a rotisserie chicken trying to out-sass Christopher Lee is one of the funniest parts of this movie. "I hope it doesn't take too long, I have work to do."

Oh, shit, hold up. Dooku is trying to tell Obi-Wan about Sidious just like Maul tried to tell Ahsoka in season 7. In almost exactly the same way, too. I completely forgot this is how it happened. That is wild. If Obi-Wan had actually believed him, this all could have been stopped before it even started... Kinda like how Ahsoka and Maul could have potentially saved Anakin and the Republic had she just trusted him the tiniest bit. Ooh that's frustrating as hell.

And here we have Sith lord Jar Jar B-- Oh, my bad, I meant just Jar Jar Binks... Anyway, here we have Jar Jar Binks turning over emergency powers to his Sith Master-- Oh, oops, I meant Chancellor Palpatine...

"It is with great reluctance..." STFU, Sidious, you ass-faced motherfucker. Go die in a hole.

This whole battle droid factory sequence I also tend to skip. In fact, I think it's been like a decade since I've actually watched it. Unlike the pod racing in The Phantom Menace, the factory sequence isn't even entertaining. It's just dumb as hell. I remember seeing the behind the scenes for it and Natalie was not amused in the slightest. She's laughing her ass off and asking George, "This is a joke, right?" Yikes.

Ugh, the scene in the chariots before the arena... Another cringy ass set of "romantic" dialogue that had no hope of being saved. "I truly, deeply, love you." WHO SAYS THAT?! Skip!!

The arena monsters are probably my favorite part of this movie other than the Fetts. Still not enough to salvage this mess, but the many eyed rat-cat thing is cute.

I was kidding about that last bit... It actually gives me nightmares. I do actually like the acklay though.

I'm sorry, but everytime Padmé jumps onto that thing's back behind Anakin, I think "Damn, that really must've hurt her va-jay-jay..."

Pretty sure it wasn't that busted jetpack that killed Jango. It was his inflated ego after beating two (three of you count capturing Anakin in the factory) Jedi in like 3 days. Dude was on a serious Jedi murder-spree high lmao.

But also, poor Boba, man. Imagine watching your dad get beheaded while you watch it happen fall time. Yikes. This movie is bad luck for parents...

Ok, all the Jedi in the arena is badass as hell too, admittedly. Another point for this movie, even though it ultimately does nothing overall for its horrific bad to good scene ratio.

One day I'll own the Lego of the clone troop transport gunship...

I live for the headcanon that the clone that fell out of the gunship with Padmé was Rex. I'm sticking with it bc I want to see live Rex that badly.

I love Dooku's fighting style. It's so elegant and graceful, it looks like he's dancing. Very befitting of his character.

Yoda firing back that lightning is some shit I bet no one expected to see when this movie came out. That and Yoda going full apeshit Jedi, bouncing around like a frog on crack. Pretty sure people actually hated it, if I remember. Lots of "Not my Yoda."

"Escorting senator Amidala home." Yeah, sure. And getting married in the process. How did they not sense that shit?

The Imperial March playing over the clones is iconic and you can't tell me otherwise.

In conclusion: God, if I wished someone else had written and directed The Phantom Menace, it's nothing compared to how much I wish someone else had taken over this movie. Plot-wise, it's a very interesting premise. But the writing somehow managed to get worse between Episodes I and II. Pretty sure it's because George Lucas can't write romantic dialogue worth a damn and that's what half this movie was. This movie depends so heavily on The Clone Wars for you to even tolerate it and that's never good at all. It depends on The Clone Wars to make Anakin and Padmé's love be believable, and to make you even like Anakin in general. Yet again, another interesting villain gets Boba Fett'ed, and coincidentally that character is Jango Fett. It would have been nice if they had elaborated more on Syfo Dias and his role that he played in commissioning the clones. I went years just accepting that we would never really know what was going on there and then finally The Clone Wars aired season 6, which included an episode detailing what happened. Again, depending on The Clone Wars to bail this movie out of the deep pit of poor reviews this movie got. As a Star Wars movie, I rate it 2 out of 5. More than generous but it's still not as bad as TLJ or TROS, which is the only reason it's not lower. Pre-TLJ, this movie would have gotten a 1...

Part one of my "Let's roast Attack of the Clones".

I still don't understand how we got The Clone Wars, arguably one of the best Star Wars television media, out of this steaming pile of bad dialogue and awkward romance. I just... How.

This movie starts out with a bang, doesn't it? :D (Sorry, Cordé)

Speaking of Clone Wars, I love how now because of that show, I actually have genuine feelings for the once nameless Jedi that show up in the background, like Plo Koon and Luminara.

Haydennnn! I'm a firm believer that, like little Jake Lloyd, Hayden Christensen also did nothing wrong, he was just a bit less experienced than the other actors and was given shitty dialogue on top of that. The kid did his best. And I love him for it. But also why does he sometimes sound like a Brit trying to pass off a shitty American accent lol. Dude's American already. I read somewhere that the reason he speaks the way he does might be because he was trying to replicate the speech patterns Vader has in the OT, and just the general way he talks, which, if true, is I guess commendable, but he sounds like an idiot half the time.

Hayden and Ewan had great chemistry considering the awful script. I hate when people say they didn't. It's the dialogue that's awkward and clunky, not the actors' chemistry.

UGH ANAKIN STOP TRYING TO SOUND SMOOTH YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT. And he acts like an emo from 2005 in this movie and it's so fuckin' cringyyyy.

I can't wait for them to bring Temuera back. I miss his voice. He's such a badass as Jango.

Anakin, sounding like a teenage girl: sHe'S nOt LiKe ThE oThEr GiRlZ, mAsTeR.

These worm things are probably why centipedes make me wanna die when they get in my house.

"The Chancellor isn't corrupt." LMAO ANAKIN YOU DUMB HIMBO.

Obi-Wan: Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin. Don't rush into things, Anakin.

Also Obi-Wan: Dives headfirst out a window after a fucking droid.

What even is the whole droid/speeder chase though? It's like George just decided that anything goes and the audience will just take his shit (spoiler alert: We did).

How much do you wanna bet Jango was following this whole chase just like "Smfh, do I have to do everything myself?"

Obi-Wan saying he hates it when Anakin jumps off high things when Obi-Wan didn't just do that himself 5 minutes ago would be me as a parent.

Idk why, but "She went into the club, Master!" is a way more funny line to me than it should be.

Yeah, Death Sticks dude is hilarious, but can we talk about the pink Twi'lek that looks like she fell in love when Anakin waves at her table lmao. Like honestly same, girl, same.

Ooh Anthony Daniels cameo.

And here we see Padmé turning over her power to the most powerful Sith in the-- Oh, whoops, I mean Jar Jar Binks. Silly me.

How does Padmé see Anakin bitch out like a child and still wanna fuck him? I don't get it. Like he's cute and all but his personality is uglyyyy. To be fair though, Obi-Wan seems like he can be a dick sometimes. Very helicopter parent seeming.

EW STOP WITH THAT CREEPY EXPRESSION YOU LOOK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER. And didn't Anakin learn anything from Obi-Wan's constant flirting with anything with legs? Why is he so bad at pick up lines?

Padmé talking down Anakin as a Jedi in front of the Naboo dignitaries is incredibly awkward and just downright rude, honestly. I hate how that scene feels and I really wish they had taken it out or just not had it in the first place. What purpose did it serve? We're trying to root for their romance, not pit them against each other, damn...

I love the look of the Kaminoans. Creepy as hell but fun to look at. Their history is very interesting as well.

THE LAKE DRESS MY GOD THE LAKE DRESS. I love it so much, but also is she trying to tempt poor Anakin? It practically goes down to her ass in the back...

"We keep him here", like Jango is a pet dog or something lol.

I just love how the Jedi Order essentially ordered Anakin to go on a romantic getaway with a very attractive young female senator like that wasn't the worst fucking decision in the history of ever. "Oh yes, this horny 20 year old Padawan with an authority problem would never do anything behind our backs."

Oh look, it's my Mandalorian husband (sorry, actual husband :* love you). But really though, I'm so sad that this and the video game Bounty Hunter are the most Temuera ever got to play Jango, other than the occasional one line part. Jango is who made me fall in love with Mandalorian culture and we were robbed, man. Can't believe it took 18 years to bring Tem back to Star Wars. Disgraceful. The guy is amazing. And the way he speaks Mando'a? Ugh, perfection.

Why is Padmé insisting on wearing the sexiest outfits she owns? Like what is this slinky black corset number? It's like she's trying to torment him.

Also Hayden delivers these awful fucking lines better than most would in his situation... Even Natalie is struggling. But Hayden's speech at the beginning of the fireside scene is just sooooo cringy, no one could save that. Not even Leonardo DiCaprio could make that sound romantic.

This Obi-Wan vs. Jango fight is AMAZING. I'm pretty sure this is the first time we ever saw a Mandalorian really fight. Now we have a whole TV show. Oh, how the times change.

The seismic charges are hands down the most satisfying sounding weapon in all of Star Wars. I have it as my text ringtone. Scares the shit out of me whenever I get a text. 10/10.