#additional tags are spoilers

[edupunkn00b]

Just Like Magic Masterpost

Photo by Michael Olsen via Unsplash, Creative Commons 3.0

There are no mages in the South. There are no mages in the South. There are no mages in the South.

There are mages in the South.

Chapter List - AO3 - Playlist

Read - 8/30/21

Speak -10/13/22

Fight - 10/13/24

Flee - 10/14/24

Hide - 10/15

Warm - 10/16

Light - 10/17

Seek - 10/18

Find - 10/19

Help - 10/20

Heal - 10/21

Home - 10/22

Writer's block, AO3 Authors notes come to life, and burnout be damned, this story has finally complete!

[macbethz]

what i think REALLY works about dot and bubble is it plays with the genre conventions of doctor who itself. We've seen doctor lite episodes like this, we know how they work. There's person who needs to be saved who gets indirect help from the doctor, maybe they're flawed and learn a lesson at the end, maybe they're part of some flawed society that is just kind of set dressing or ends up being torn down at the end without examination. About halfway through the episode I was ready to brush this off as a fun but predictable classic rtd ep that wasn't really anything special. Then from the the betrayal of ricky September on its like watching a house of cards that has been built the entire episode without us noticing collapse into a perfect stack

“Oh well of course you could see them being racist the whole time” the thing is sometimes doctor who is just like that. RTD EPISODES have historically just been like that, either in that they are microagressions in themselves or have bigoted characters/worlds that go unexamined. And I think this episode performed an absolutely insane self aware slight of hand that relies on both you and the writers knowing that doctor who and sci fi in general has a racism problem. The ending recontextualizes things in the episode you may initially have brushed off as an unfortunate BBC or science fiction moment (all white cast, manifest destiny language) as symptomatic of larger societal issues, thus in turn recontextualizing missed moments of bigotry in the shows own history

[clownkiwi]

i feel the need to remind everyone that yes, even coming from a sonic fan, we better let sonic 3 bomb & boycott any advertising or marketing of the film. remember that paramount (makers of the sonic movie franchise) still stands with the genocidal state of israel and that we should absolutely make sure no advertising comes across your dashboard. you all failed us with deadpool, you can do better when sonic comes around

[caramellody]

Yall i dont think im gonna be able to stop thinking about usha and g13, actually.

Ushas an old old woman, clueless with tech. Lived long enough to develop various bonds with a LOT of people and relies on them a lot for help. In turn, shes VERY loyal to her close conpanions (a great example would be how she tends to back paula up a LOT, the way she sets up russel and paula to 'fake date' wink and all). She's very warm and very emotionally intelligent even if she's a bit clueless sometimes. Her logic is borderline incomprehensible, but it has heart.

G13 on the other hand, is a hacking prodigy. Hes young, hes sought after for his skills for better and for worse. But in turn, he's essentially lost himself in the process. He may be able to scrape nuke codes, but he'll never make a friend. He lacks any loyalty for anyone and anything except for himself and his interests, and if they dont satisfy those two points, then its worth nothing to him. His logic may be sound, but its cold.

[logicpng]

...at least that's the link order that made most sense to me

[Image ID:

Clownillustrations' Welcome Home fanart. Wally Darling is drawn at an angle slightly from below, lacking his mouth, and the eyes wide open and bright white looking the viewer. In front of him, along his height through the middle of his face, a long stripe made of the blurry Welcome Home website screenshots, glowing. Behind him is a vinyl record with a plain red label.

The background is littered with text, a wall of repeating "Let me in." from top to bottom to the left of the image, Wally's dialogue behind him, and the text on the foreground, slightly corrupted, says "I will help you understand neighbor I will find a way soon"

End ID]

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hello. It's me again. I'm sure you've realized by now what this type of introduction to a post is leading into. I'm going to bring up another page in the bill book. This entry is going to be less about "proving" anything, but rather it's just something I'd like to discuss. (Also just a warning, this one ends up a bit long due to how many photos are included!)

As I have said before. I had many many thoughts, and I am liable to talk about them until they're all talked out. I want to focus on a single page again (Or I guess, a single double page).

Sorry for the kinda small image here, but don't worry. I'll point out the part I want to talk about.

What I find strange about these pages in particular, aside from the fact that it starts to become written like some sort of noir novel and that Bill has chosen to speak like a femme-fatale, is the new idea it suggests to us:

Bill at some point told Ford he was from another dimension.

I say "at some point" because Ford doesn't react to the idea like this is new information here. Why do I find that strange? Well, for one thing, there's never anything that would indicate Ford knew this pre-portal.

To start, we know that Bill introduces himself to Ford as "a Muse"

Notice the way Ford speaks about him. "From a higher plane, divine, otherworldly". He makes some guesses on the second page (spirit, alien, dream, etc), but nothing to indicate they've discussed the whole other-dimension thing yet. Of course, this is still early, so let's skip further ahead.

Here's where we start talking about other dimensions.

Bill has told his "weirdness dimension" lie to Ford, but there's no implication that he himself is from this dimension. And not to mention, this dimension hasn't been destroyed, so naturally it cannot be the one he talks about in the Bill Book pages.

Regardless, Bill is still being referred to as a divine thing, unknowable and even possibly not real. Safe to say he isn't inter-dimensional yet, so let's continue.

(this section has been edited from its original wording)

Here Fiddleford and his idiosyncrasies enter the fray, and Ford debates telling him. Fiddleford is aware they're building a portal to another dimension, so it would not be that far of a stretch in that vein for Ford to also explain that Bill himself is from one. But Ford's attitude toward the situation veers towards the less scientific. Ford still considers Bill to be something divine, and is worried Fiddleford would think black magic is happening.

Worrying that Fiddleford would think he's gone mad is one thing, but the emphasis on black magic and fiddlefords superstitions strike me as odd.

I understand there are likely several varying reasons why Ford wouldn't want to tell Fiddleford about Bill, even if Ford DID know he was from a different dimension, however:

If Ford had something to suggest Bill's essence was more scientific in nature, I.E. him being from another dimension himself, I think he would've put that into consideration in that when deciding whether to reveal him to Fiddleford, or at the very least would've given up the emphasis on his superstitious nature.

I'm not trying to say he would've actually fully revealed it to Fiddleford if this were the case, but I think the thought process around the concept of doing so would be different.

.

We're closing in on the portal test now. Ford refers to him here as a "non corporeal entity". He is non corporeal so long as he exists only in the astral plane... but is that what Ford is talking about? Or does he believe Bill has only ever existed in the mindscape? Does he know yet? I don't think this page actually includes much of an answer, I just figured it should be included.

The next-next page does have Ford cheekily refer to him as "imaginary" though...

Fairly soon after this, the portal incident and the betrayal happens. Could it be possible that somewhere within these pages, Bill spilt his home dimension backstory? I'm still inclined to think not.

These questions have no definitive answer, but I am led to wonder:

1) Bill's whole dynamic with Ford is that of a "Muse" inspiring intelligent minds throughout history, wouldn't the reveal of him being from another dimension call this dynamic into question?

2) If Bill is something from another dimension, wouldn't asking Ford to build a portal to a dimension totally-not-at-all-related-to-him become suspicious? Would Ford not question his motives at that point?

(A later edit: As has been pointed out in the reblogs, some of what I have discussed thus far fails to take into account the mental state Ford could be in due to Bill's abuse/manipulations. Expecting perfect logic and reasoning from him like the two questions above are asking for may not be fair. I am leaving them in this post so the aforementioned reblogs continue to make sense, but again, how his prolonged abuse factors into his logic and decision-making should be taken into consideration.)

.

.

I have just a few more post-portal pages to show to continue my long winded discussion with as well.

The pages about Exwhylia read a bit weirdly, admittedly. The first page Ford states he thought this was Bill's birthplace, the second page he states he believes Bill came from somewhere similar but was mysteriously destroyed.

If Ford thought this 2-D dimension had been reduced to an atom before he got there, how could he have planned to go? And I should hardly call being destroyed by a monster a "mysterious" method of destroying. Whatever the explanation for the way these are written is, I don't think they read like Bill has ever spoken to Ford about his home dimension.

Additionally, he mentions his "quest to defeat Bill" is what led him here, which I feel implies he learned of this place after being portaled.

I wish I had a good closer for this mini-essay, but the questions I asked above the Exwhylia section were originally supposed to be it. I don't believe Bill had told Ford about his dimension. That's the end of the sentence.

MAJOR ADDENDUM:

I can't believe I missed this (I can believe it) but.. In the book of Bill, Ford refers to Bill as "extradimensional" after their very first meeting!

Pinpointing the answer to my timeline question supposedly to this exact moment. In my opinion, if you combine this with everything I've mentioned above, no part of this idea from the book of bill makes any sense at all. You might remember at the beginning of this post, Ford guesses at what type of creature Bill is... two years after this last page here was supposed to have been written.

Additionally, if he had known there was an "extradimensional" creature in gravity falls at this point in time, I should hardly think it would've taken him two whole years after that to think of the idea that the Falls' weirdness may come from out of our dimension! (Not to mention in J3 he tells us the idea was told to him directly from Bill. Two years elapsed between these conversations? Knowing Ford, not likely. Again, even if Bill somehow did avoid telling him that whole time, I think Ford very well could've figured it out on his own by then.)

[mellowdrawsthings]

feat one of my favorite quotes in the game. yeah just dont die im sure you're good at that loop

[aueua]

bien!

[aemondseyepatch]

Your Monster (2024) | Karma

[edupunkn00b]

Just Like Magic, Chapter 11: Heal

Prev - Heal - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

From Chapter 10: Help

Slowly, Logan looked up. The man had crouched next to him, and the twins stood just behind. In the man’s other hand sat two bright blue lucis. His lucis, the ones he’d sent after finding Janus. “We’ve come to help,” he said.

“You can really help him?” Logan asked. Between the lucis and the kind glimmer in the stranger’s eyes,  Logan’s fear cracked and he peeled back the corner of Janus’ cloak to reveal his wound. “He’s been stabbed, I think… I…” He shook his head, shame at his failure to heal his new teacher bubbling up, choking him. “I’ve already tried every healing spell in my book… Well, the ones for which, well, I—I am successful, at least. Ca—can… Do you use… magic?”

Worry creased the man's forehead, but he smiled, a warm, inviting grin that softened the splinters growing in Logan’s throat. He was a complete stranger, and the three of them had made an impossible claim. He didn’t even know this man’s name, let alone even begin to understand how—

“Call me Patton,” he said, like he’d heard his thoughts. “And here,” he added, offering the lucis. “These are for you.”

Logan held out his own hand and the lucis flew to him. The lights floated above his palm, bouncing against his fingertips and each other. Warmth washed over his hand and flowed up his arm, filling his chest with each breath. But the lights didn’t change shape the way they had in Janus’ palm, and Logan looked up, question on his tongue. Before he could ask, Patton nodded.

“Kiddos?” He turned and addressed Imaginary—real? And grown?—Roman and Remus. “Will you help Logan with your charms while I take a look at Janus?”

“How…” Tears pricked his eyes and the lucis tapped his palm, reassuring. “How do you know my name? How do you know his name?”

“C’mon, Logie.” Remus took one arm and Roman the other. Together, they helped him to his feet without him having to let go of either the lucis or his staff. “We’ll show you how to use these.”

Roman grinned at him, giving his arm a squeeze. “Then Padre will explain everything.”

Clutching the lucis close to his chest, Logan nodded and let himself be led to the other side of the firepit.

A blend of spice and sage filled the air when Patton loosened the knot keeping his satchel closed. Logan peered over his shoulder, watching as the man pulled several clay jars and a hollowed out stone dish from his bag.

He froze. “You’re a chemist!”

“Yes.” Eyes twinkling, Patton nodded. “Khymiá is my specialty, like Janus’ is protection charms and…” He smiled down at Janus, removing his own cloak to serve as a pillow beneath his head. “And a few other tricks he’ll likely show you some day.” Patton's eyes flashed over to Roman, nodding in silent conversation. “Janus has taken you on as student, yes?”

He didn’t know what else to do but nod. He’d thought chemistry was a myth. There were warnings of it in the few books he could find that mentioned magic. Usually it was as the villain of children’s stories of dragons and telepathy and… prophecy.

Logan’s throat went dry.

“You’re going to learn so much!” Remus bounced on his toes, both hands gripping his sleeve. His eyebrows twitched as his whole body vibrated, a leaf on the wind. Just like he used to when they were little. “You’re going to be just like us! Someday all you’ll need to do is touch someone and you’ll—”

“Re?” Patton interrupted with a crooked smile. “First things first, please. Help Logan with the charms. You heard him—he’s exhausted himself.”

It took Patton’s pointed look at his wobbling knees for Logan to realize he’d have fallen over if the twins didn’t have him in their grip. He tried to straighten, to stand on his own, but only fumbled the lucis. They never dropped, though, and remained close to him, hovering patiently.

“We’ve got you, Lo,” Roman murmured near his ear and carefully sat him in a mossy spot near the fire Logan was sure hadn't been there before.

“And we’re never, ever leaving you alone again!” Remus grinned, all teeth and laughter.

“Don’t scare him, Re!” Roman shook his head. “You make it sound like a threat!”

“Eh, promise, threat…” Remus winked at him and, despite himself, Logan chuckled. “It’s all the same thing.”

Lulled by the familiar bickering and the warm purr of the lucis in his hands, Logan had begun to regain a bit of the hope he’d felt when Janus had first promised to teach him. “You… You really are you,” he said, cheeks warming at the inanity of his words. “I m—I mean…” He peered closely at each of them. The brows above his friends’ familiar green eyes now thick, their voices deep and rough. Hands strong. But their movements, their words… they… “You two haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you,” Roman smiled, cupping his hands before him, palms up.

“Eh… You’re a helluva lot skinnier,” Remus said, mimicking his brother’s pose, laying his hands on top of Roman’s. “But Pop’s cooking’ll take care of that.”

At the mention of their father—teacher? Was padre the same as Consililario?—Logan peeked past Remus’ shoulder at Patton and Janus. The chemist had lifted Janus’ tunic, tutting quietly as he prodded at the wound. Dipping a cloth in a solution from one of the clay pots, he wiped away the new blood that had collected, whispering under his breath.

Right before his eyes, the wound closed and Janus’ bleeding stopped. With a little rhythmic hum, Patton’s broad shoulders dropped in obvious relief. He tucked the cloak around Janus’ form again, gently stroking the hand he’d laid over top.

“See?” Roman whispered. “Padre takes good care of him.”

Logan’s brow furrowed in confusion. But before he could work out just what felt odd about Roman’s words, Remus moved their hands beneath his, layering Logan’s between the lucis and the twins’. “Now let us take care of you, Logie.”

~

Light danced over Janus’ closed eyes, soft red fading into black. Whispers wove through his dreams, an old melody he’d almost forgotten. Laughter. He was wrapped in warmth and softness, fluffy down and golden sunlight. The fire at his back abated, high tide retreating with the rising sun.

It grew quiet again and he drifted in darkness and dream, honeysuckle fields and the clear blue bay. Starlit paths. A strong, soft hand in his.

He woke to candlelight, a damp cloth at his forehead and a deep voice humming a healing chant. He groaned when he swallowed, throat papery, and licked dry lips. The humming stopped and a wave of nutmeg and clove and honey filled his lungs. A cup was lifted to his mouth and he drank.

Slowly, Janus blinked and eyes the color of the Puget Bay appeared before him. The entire room glowed with their light.

“I know those eyes,” he murmured, voice cracking. He drank gratefully when the cup tapped his lips again.

“I should certainly hope so, Mister,” Patton replied with a put-upon huff and a poorly concealed grin. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“It’s been long enough to dearly miss—Logan!” Janus bolted upright, spilling the potion. His head whipped around the room as he fought with the blankets tangling his legs. “Logan? Where’s—” He pulled at Patton’s sleeve. “Please, Pat! My student—He's—Where’s—I sent him to find a sta—”

“Shhh, Jan… Everything’s alright,” Patton soothed. “Logan’s fine. He’s perfectly safe.” He nodded slowly and smiled when Janus stilled. He straightened the covers and dabbed at the wet spot with a towel. “Logan’s in the other room with my boys.”

“Your…” Janus stared at him. “Your boys?”

Patton smiled back, laughter in his eyes. “My boys. If you’re feeling strong enough to get up, we can get you all introduced.”

Janus took his offered hand, surprised at how little his side ached as Patton slowly helped him sit up again. “Lead the way.”

~

The main room in Patton’s home bubbled with activity, a large fire snapping and popping in one corner, a lush sitting area with a low table and puffy cushions and knitted throws across from it. The opposite corner, beneath a window box bursting with herbs and flowers, housed a long worktable covered with vials and jars and the large crucible Janus had helped Patton cast when they young.

At the other end of the room sat the kitchen. Crowded together on the wood stove, three pots simmered and spat, spilling the scent of garlic and ginger and fresh morels into the air. A loaf of bread sat cooling in one corner, and the yeasty aroma wafting from under a towel-covered bowl next to it meant another loaf was well on its way.

The biggest source of activity in the room, though, were the three men working over the heavy wooden table, chopping and peeling and stirring. And laughing.

Janus paused at the doorway, one hand on his staff, the other hooked through Patton’s steady arm. Logan’s face was bright, the warmth of the fire and the company bringing a rosy glow he’d yet to see on his new student’s face. His aura was blinding, waves of deep blue dancing at the edges every time the glittery red and green auras of the others—Patton’s ‘boys’ were fae?—overlapped.

He sighed, a release of worry for his student, for his future, for his ability to find peace enough to practice and learn and live after all he’d already been through.

The soft sound managed to alert the trio to their presence. “Janus!” Logan cried, smile growing as he rushed to wipe his hands on a towel tied at his waist. He dashed past the table and ran to him arms open wide, hesitating only at the last moment before embracing him.

“Is this your doing?” Janus stepped closer and released Patton’s arm to pull Logan into a hug.

Logan melted against him, nodding before giving a little shrug. “They came for us when I sent luminaria.”

Pride burst from Janus’ chest and he pulled back to meet Logan's eyes. “You sent them on your own?”

He caught Patton’s eye over Logan’s shoulder and Patton beamed. “He sure did!”

“I’m so proud of you, Logan,” Janus whispered. “I showed you the spell only once.”

“You needed help I couldn’t give,” Logan whispered back. “My magic could not help you.”

“Oh, Logan,” Janus shook his head and cupped Logan’s cheek. “Look where we are. Your magic did help me.”

Grinning, Patton ruffled Logan’s hair. “He’s right, Kiddo. And you should’ve seen him, Jan.” Logan’s eyebrow quirked up at the nickname but he only listened. “He looked ready to take our heads off with his staff before I could convince him we wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Your staff?” Janus’ eyes widened. “You found one?”

“Well… It is uncarved, and…” Logan demurred. “And I…”

The thinner twin turned and stroked his back, nudging him toward the door. “Logie, show him.”

Logan looked back at each of them and the twin fae grinned at him with matching smiles. Lip caught between his teeth, Logan hurried to the doorway where a tall bluish branch lay propped next to a row of cloaks and boots.

The room exploded in light no-one else could see as Logan drew near the bough, a bright blue-white streaming from his hand as he reached for it. Logan and his staff’s aura filled Janus’ vision, slowly dimming until he could just make out his form as he returned, presenting his staff to him.

“Logan,” he gasped. “It’s remarkable.” Fighting to clear his vision, Janus blinked until he could see the broad smile brushed across his student’s face.

Logan looked over his shoulder at Patton’s ‘boys’ and smiled. “I had help from some old friends. I…” Moving the staff to one hand, he held it upright like Janus held his. He let his free hand float near Janus’ and the staff responded, golden light spraying out to meet his hand. Logan smiled and stretched his fingers, likely feeling the light.

“The first wood I found was just like yours. Buzzy and… warm. I thought it was the wood I should choose. But then…” He grinned at the twins. “They helped me find this one and…”

Janus gripped his shoulder. “And you knew.”

“And I knew,” Logan nodded, a bit of pride spilling into his voice. After a moment, he cleared his throat and turned to face each of them. “Janus…” A blush dusted his cheeks as he gestured to the twin fae still working in the kitchen. “I’d like you to meet Remus and Roman.”

[meamiiikiii]

Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D

(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)

(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading!!)

---

Okay, so honestly this is more or less an excuse to ramble out an appreciation post (of sorts) on everyone tbh, since I do not do that often if ever. I'm just using the quote picks to keep me a bit focused on topics a bit more specific than being completely aimless!

[Also specialist of special shoutouts to my friends Squid and Aya for proofreading all this. Ily guys ever so dearly <3333]

---

Mirabelle

"Avoidance, huh... That feels... a little too cowardly, for me."

The Housemaiden, who would probably fulfill the 'Hero' role if this was a normal RPG, Mirabelle! She has a lot going on that's so interesting to me!! Okay tbf everyone else does too but I really just needed a segue.

She's the chosen one that wasn't really chosen. The reason she was blessed was due to circumstance, and it wasn't even by the Change God either. Because of that, she feels immense pressure/imposter syndrome since she knows the truth of her blessing. Speaking of feelings, she also already felt like she’s failing her own faith for being comfortable with herself, in staying the same forever. For not wanting to Change in that way, when everyone else can, and feeling broken because of it. And, of course, she literally has anxiety and hasn’t had access to her meds throughout the entire quest. That probably also does not help in the slightest!! It's an interesting stewing pot of feeling like a fraud of a 'chosen one' with all that in mind.

And yet, her dedication to her faith and country shines through her actions and words, whether she knows it or not. She’s not someone to avoid her worries. She’ll face them, head-on, even if she doesn't think she'll succeed. I feel like this quote captures it best to me actually! Especially since it's a direct response to Sif saying that they try to avoid their own doubts and worries, in comparison to Mira’s own in her own faith. It almost feels like a subconscious response, and to me that says a lot.

[Side-tangent, but it's also interesting to me that this very dedication works against her, in a sense? Like, notably the bonding proposals. Beyond the societal pressures in play related to the Change belief, she is also the one to take the initiative to ask a dating company for bonding proposals, it didn't just happen around her (as in, no one suggested this to her)? Even when she isn't even interested in dating anyone to begin with! She's not interested in Changing in that way!!! That is to say, her head-on dedication can be to the point of her own detriment at times, to the point of bringing her woe? Not sure if I am wording this properly. Just a thought I had, idk if it has much merit tho. Sorry if that made like no sense!!]

But yeah! She gives it her all in just about everything she does!! She was already known as the most hardworking Housemaiden in the House, always striving to better herself, always taking new classes prior to all this (over 150! and she herself said that she couldn't do anything before coming to the House, which makes it all the more impressive). And when faced with the insurmountable task of saving her home, all of Vauguarde, from being frozen over by the King? She continues on to take on the mantle as the chosen one, the one who will save everyone, and she starts it off completely alone. She's the reason the journey was able to play out, and why everyone is together in the first place. All because she isn't one to avoid her doubts and worries, and willingness to do it scared, yanno? It's just a small part on what I appreciate about her, but I think I'm going to cut myself off here!

---

Isabeau

"Doesn't that feel like someone you wouldn't feel ashamed of knowing?"

Isabeau!! Literally the whole “Change is destruction” convo that Isa has prior to this quote was up to be picked, but I figured picking the end would be easiest. But now that I think about it, I think all my picks are basically at the end of the FQ's so that point is sort of moot. Oh well! It's just hard to pick a singular quote off of these okay!!

Isabeau from the start of the game is shown to be portraying himself as a himbo. Big guy, dumb guy, the like. But, even from the start, there are signs that he really isn't stupid, like at all! First early gameish example I can think of off the top of my head, that distinctly shows this, is the color theory book. Mainly because he sort of kind of drops the facade for a split second there. Without proper context to his deal, it's just a funny moment. But, reflecting after the fact, it's more of an '...OH!' moment, since he seems to have been kinda upset about not knowing about colors (even if he's hamming it up a little bit, saying he's 'failed them all' for not knowing what colors were.) And that's not even going into his emotional intelligence either.

But, delving into his FQ the full picture is shown. That he wasn't always this big boisterous guy. He used to be the nerdiest kid around, incredibly shy, and because of that he didn't like himself much. But then he Changed and is much happier now, compared to back then! Even after his Change though, he's unhappy with some aspects of himself. He doesn’t like being considered dumb because of his act. And, even after Changing, that kid from before is still there, right? As much as he continues to project this air of cool confidence, he can never truly be rid of that part of his old self, can he? The one always paralyzed by fear.

With that, comes the quote pick! Since, to me, he's not necessarily talking to just Siffrin here, but also to himself. Because it all boils down to his own self-hatred, I think? He himself does mention this in the A5 version of this FQ, albeit kinda heat of the moment, that he "...keeps changing personalities like clothes, because it's easier than learning to like myself." He's still a work in progress in that regard. But even still, he is trying to be better, for the people he cares about.

[Small aside, that too can maybe stem from his own self-loathing? Putting the people he cares about first. I mean, he is the one who told Sif to focus on the others first. And even after that, he was putting focus onto Sif at first during his FQ (as in, talking about how he thought Sif would like seeing the stars, only letting the convo slide into focus unto himself after Sif made an obvious topic change.) The quote also kind of reads as an ask of reassurance, in a sense? That him Changing again would allow himself to be someone that people would like, even if he himself doesn't like himself. Idk where I was going with this tbh, but I think it makes sense to keep its inclusion here!]

Overall, I just think it's interesting to revisit Isa's previous dialogues with the context of the FQ!! Especially when thinking on the underlying reasons as to why the way he's acting the way he is, even while seeing signs from the start that he isn't the airhead he was masquerading as.

---

Odile

"I'm Ka Buan and Vauguardian, in ways I do and don't realize... And I am also myself."

The Researcher, Odile! I think I’m just gonna jump right into it without a semblance of an intro since I know it’s going to be a lil less focused. Mainly because I know for a fact I will not be able to articulate this ramble that well, so here we go.

As the oldest party member, it makes sense that she's much further along in her own character development / self-discovery journey in comparison to the others (at least in relation to her FQ centered struggle on finding out more about herself in relation to her heritage), and I think her FQ, in itself, helps portray that. Compared to Mira and Isa, who are still in the midst of their own personal journey on how to address their turmoil and putting it to action, Bonnie, who is the youngest of the group and is learning how to tackle their issues to begin with, and Siffrin who is going through All That™; Odile has come to a conclusion about her own woes, where the others have not. 

That’s part of the reason why I went with the quote pick actually! In a sense, it’s a display of self-assuredness in herself that can really only be gained with time and experience. She’s also able to explain her feelings on her heritage eloquently as well, and the convo prior to the quote helps express them too! It’s the recognition that yes, her mixed heritage helped shape who she is as a person in ways she may or may not realize, that it’s not the only factor at play here in regard to her identity. It’s the fact that, at the end of the day, what matters most is that she is herself, yanno?

Even with her self-assuredness towards herself, it’s also interesting to me how that contrasts her closed-offness to the others, especially in outright saying/showing that she cares? Which also probably also stems from her mother, someone who was supposed to love and care for her, leaving without a trace early on in life. It makes sense to me that she would have reluctance in showing that she cares for the others!! What if she ends up hurting others similarly to how her mother hurt her?  Of course, she wouldn’t want to do that to the others, and is distinctly also why she does NOT want to be called a Mom. 

[Tangent that doesn’t relate as much to the quote, but I want to touch upon anyway since it’s FQ related. I also want to point out that the FQ helps inform us why Odile is more willing to question things around her / be more sus? When her mother left, she left nothing behind, and with it, any links to her Vauguardian roots. This left her with a complete loss of that connection, one that was stolen from her and, with that, the feeling like she didn’t belong anywhere as a result. This led her to be curious enough to seek out a resolution to that feeling, lending more into her inquisitiveness on just about anything. How else would she be able to learn more about Vauguarde, without asking questions, after all!]

All in all, for Odile it’s a bit harder for me to elaborate on why I like her? I dunno, I think it’s just hard to sum it all up as eloquently as she probably could LOL. 

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Bonnie

"So you can protect me, and I can protect you... And we can protect everyone, too!"

Bonnie!! TBH I had a toss-up on what specific quote the drawing would be based around. The other one being “You got hurt because of me and— And I don’t like it!!! I don’t want it to have happened! You should have stood there and let me be hurt!” . Because of the toss up both quotes will be discussed somewhat, since they go hand in hand with the ramble!

[To note, the toss-up was decided by putting it on a poll to my friends, as a simple “choose !” with the options being “joyful” or “angsty” with ZERO context. I told them after what the poll was for (basically if Bonnie would be crying or not in the drawing) and I got threatened for that one HAHA.]

But, to start, Bonnie has had, not once, but twice, people sacrificing themselves in some way for them (Nille telling them to run and getting frozen, Siffrin losing his eye.) Makes sense, because they're a kid, so of course those who are older need to protect them. Still, they are not happy about this, about people getting hurt because of them, and understandably so! It probably doesn't feel good to have your loved ones putting themselves in harm's way for your sake. But what can they do, right? They're a kid and don't really get a say on the matter. I mean, what else can they do? It makes sense to me that Bonnie is frustrated about that part!! It can be frustrating to have everyone discuss things around you, have everyone do things that you don't want them to, and (unintentionally or not), ignoring your input as a person because you are so young.

Kids are smarter than you think. Even if they may not have a full understanding of what's going on, they can certainly follow along and get the gist. Like, for example, Bonnie always listens in on the burial conversation during the second snack break (first found out either during a FQ run or in Memory of Promise). They even pretend not to hear whatever Siffrin says to make everyone think that they aren't listening in! They also seem to hone in completely to the conversation the second Isabeau says that it doesn't matter what happens to him after he dies, since they stop prepping at that point. Even worse, everyone starts discussing how they won't let Bonnie be killed. Which, if it comes to fruition, would be the third instance of people getting hurt because of them, and would be another thing they get zero say in! And everyone thinks they aren't listening in on it, meaning they were being discussed around. Plus, in Memory of Promise, while they don't have the words to articulate why everyone talking about their deaths is so upsetting to them, this context spells out the picture of them not wanting people to be hurt because of them, time and time again.

So when they get a proper opportunity to have a say on something, their promise with Siffrin on protecting one another, to protect everyone too? It makes the exchange all the sweeter to me! It's the first time, in probably a long time, Bonnie has had proper input on something from someone older than them on an important decision. For once, they get to stand on a more equal footing to an adult, rather than being treated as a kid who doesn't know what's going on. And, it probably means more to Bonnie than Siffrin realizes.

---

There’s probably a lot more of examples/subtopics I am forgetting to add onto all of these but. Please forgive me, but a good chunk of this was written while I was travelling or in one sitting on my singular day off after travel ASDAFSA. I might genuinely be forgetting something I wanted to talk about, esp since I couldn't double check stuff easily. I've been going off a combination of memory and downloaded friend ISAT streams LMAOOO.

Feel free to correct me on stuff I possibly? Completely misconstrued as well?? Since that is entirely possible in happening! Or further add onto thoughts! In short feel free to extend the discussion on any of this! But yeah, wrangling (some) of my thoughts on why I like them has been fun :D

And to those of you who read all of this to the end, thank you for reading my ramblings!! And if you're skipping to the end, FAIR ENOUGH LMAO!!

Regardless though, I'll end this off with a fun lil fun fact about this post! If I scheduled this properly, it should be going up at 11:11... somewhere! I thought it'd be a fun easter egg to myself. Mainly bc I remember people always used to say "11:11, make a wish!" a lot when I was school whenever the clock struck that time. I just thought it'd be fitting to queue this up for that time is all :]

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[flickering-nightfall]

I wanted to update my design refs (I never posted the old ones, but they're from maybe six months ago now). But then it took forever because I kept putting the iterators into ten bajillion outfits. Well here they are now!

I'll probably do this with the slugcats too.

[roomba-mangga]

thoughts on thistle and yaad's dynamic that i vomited in the tags of another post but will now try to articulate here: they're not actually family, or at least they shouldn't be. not in a conventional sense anyway. framing them as uncle and nephew (even in a non-literal, silly fantasy world way) rides more on technicality than anything concrete.

what i mean by this is yaad calls thistle by name and says he and delgal were raised "like" brothers. he talks about thistle like he's an outsider imposing himself into the melinis' space, and it's clear that thistle was never legitimized as a member of the family. for thistle's part, though we don't know how he would treat yaad pre-demon brainrot, it's safe to assume based on the way he punishes him—turning him into a doll—and how little is shown in the way of any sort of relationship between them that thistle only cares* about yaad as an extension of delgal (otherwise i'd expect something like kabru and milsiril, because it's not like another complicated interspecies family dynamic would be out of place, yet there's next to nothing on them even in bonus content, just their scant interactions in the main story).

in essence, they're strangers to one another. thistle's desperation to preserve the illusion of a family, a model where he doesn't even fit, was the snare they were caught in for the past thousand years of stasis. yaad-as-nephew is a prop to uphold that illusion, and thistle is playing a role he's unfit to play. in the context of post-canon interactions, attempting to reconstruct that facade would only be a reenactment of trauma for them both (in a deeply compelling way i'd love to watch unfold, tbh), as that "uncle and nephew" framing places thistle in an implicit position of power over someone he's already traumatized through misuse of authority in the past, a role which also perpetuates his adultification and yaad's infantilization in turn. it'd mostly be an obstacle to any real connection.

best to burn the melini family bridge, i think, and if there's still anything salvageable left in the rubble, let something different supplant it.

[marlinspirkhall]

The society in Dot and Bubble as a mirror to Gallifrey. They could have saved themselves from destruction, but they were too invested in saving a 'utopian' society built on colonisation. As a mirror of The Doctor's incredibly one-sided relationship with the society which literally took everything from them and then remade him in their image. They spent 12 incarnations as a white man, learned hard truths about themselves the first time they were a woman and now he's experiencing racism (again) but they have no memory of the previous times. I need to go to sleep.but my god, what a way to take the baton that was handed to you and run with it

[camellia-thea]

okay. just rambling here, but, i think armand took more than just the end of the interview away from daniel.

we got that little moment about that night, saying 'you asked me to' to louis. 'you asked me to take this from you, you could not live with it,' leading into, 'i look after you when you cannot look after yourself, i make those choices for you.'

we know that during the chase and devil's minion era, daniel was an addict, who was, by his own admission, slowly killing himself. he was also addicted to blood.

it's really not too far to make the jump, if devil's minion occurred, that armand made the choice to step in, in his own mind, for daniel's best interests. i know this isn't a unique jump to make, but; again with armand's "i look after him when he cannot look after himself" continual reiteration, i think it's a fair assumption.

he can also replace and blur memories, which makes the discussion of alice and paris -- why the dessert from that night? -- and how immediate and sincere his answer of "she wanted to say yes, but she didn't trust you. you hadn't given her a reason to." this could be the night he took them away, replaced himself with alice, planted something similar for her to start the relationship, then step back and watch it fall. and i think the thing that stands out there is just how tender he is while saying it. there's an undercurrent of something else entirely underneath, it isn't a dig at daniel in the moment, despite the pushing earlier in the scene.

and then in s1, when louis say to daniel, "i'd give it to you now." and the cut to armand, still in disguise, and his micro-expression of horror, the way he stiffens and looks away... and the little moment of what i read as conflict when daniel says no. his jump to "may i be excused?" i can't tell in the moment, if he's horrified about the offer itself, the fact that it is louis offering to turn daniel rather than himself, or the fact that daniel denies it. because i don't think armand could actually let daniel die if this was the case.

the disguise itself-- why pretend to be rashid? i think part of it is to try and hide behind a human persona to keep those memories at bay; especially given the little moments of flashback that got triggered by little mannerisms. i can't decide whether they're intentional pushes or not, whether armand wanted/wants daniel to remember on his own, or wants to keep it under wraps. i think, even if he believes he doesn't want it to come forward, he truly does deep down.

and once he's revealed himself as armand, the way he gazes at daniel, his beautiful boy. the continued "our boy", from both he and louis, the "he's still in there, somewhere..."

and i think "our boy" is also really interesting, because why would daniel be armand's boy, based solely on the moments that louis initially remembered? armand didn't really have any emotional connection to daniel that night, sure, he saved him, but that doesn't really mean anything; he saved daniel for louis, not for daniel's sake.

and, jumping back "our boy,[...] he's still in there somewhere"... there's implication that louis might know about it? again, i don't think this is related to the original interview, or at least, limited to it? i don't have anything concrete here, just vibes, but again, why is armand's boy still in there somewhere?

and sure, some of these are reaches and i don't think i'm necessarily right, but god it would be deliciously awful if i was.

[royalarchivist]

Diego's reaction when he hears about Lucie's death :(((