#added some little ice spikes as a treat

[phantasmaltrain]

woops, my hand slipped, drew the alpha glaceon from last post doing glaceon things as a treat 

[pretty-blkgirl]

Say Yes [Part Two]

//fem!reader x Ot8!Skz//

Synopsis: You get slipped a note from your favorite idol to meet him at his hotel room, but he's not the only one there

Genre: smut/suggestive, crack, fluff

Warnings: sexual situations, reader uses she/her pronouns

A/N: thank you @seoyeonleexoxo for the requestttt ❤️ I initially didn’t want this to be three parts but this part ended up so lengthy 😭 Third part is gonna be the conclusion 💗

~~~~|~~~~

“Okay y/n, breathe” You chant to yourself as the elevator rises quickly to the second floor. Admittedly, you get out and pace around the hallway a little, catching the eye of some curious staff members walking between the rooms.

“Excuse me,” One woman says, coming up to you. You know she’s staff, especially since her employee badge is still hanging around her neck.

“This floor is reserved,” She says politely, “Are you supposed to be up here?”

You dig in your pocket to fish out the envelope you had gotten. A little panicked, you give it to her. Wordlessly, she looks at the picture and the (signed) NDA.

A tight-lipped smile graces her face, “Follow me.”

She gives you the envelope back and practically jogs down the hall. You walk quickly to keep up, and you two end up in front of room B6.

“Please remember the stipulations of the NDA,” She says, “The rest of the document should be in the room. Read over it when you receive it”

The envelope in your pocket feels heavy as she bows at you and walks off.

You stand there for another 5 minutes before knocking four straight times. Your heart beats out of your chest as you hear a hushed voice on the other side of the door.

It opens soon enough, and you come face-to-face with Bang Chan himself.

“There you are” He smiles, the gorgeous dimples in his cheeks making you feel at ease. He moved aside to let you in, and you go in with a little less hesitation than you should have.

“I didn’t get your name,” Chan says, “I’m Chris”

This makes you giggle, of course, you know who he is. But he’s just being polite, which makes you a little more relaxed.

“I’m y/n” You say

He nods and takes you further into the rather large room. The lights are dimmed, but you can make out the other two silhouettes lying across the king-sized bed.

You jump a little as Han Jisung sits up and confidently walks over to you. His cool nature spikes your already high anxiety levels.

“Hello,” He says, “I’m Han”

He points over to a bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne sticking out

“Want a drink?”

You can’t even answer before Changbin gets up and walks to the three of you. He’s wearing a tight, black tank top, making you a little dizzy as you get a full view of his muscles.

“You can’t just ask her that, Han,” He says, flicking the younger’s forehead and giving you a nice smile, “I’m Changbin”

“I’m being polite” Han defends

Changbin rolls his eyes, “She’s gonna think we wanna get her drunk or something- We dont by the way”

The two start to argue in Korean, making Chan laugh from behind you.

“Please excuse them, how about we take a seat?”

You nod and follow him over to a small table with two chairs. Everything seems to be going in slow motion. How in the hell are you in a hotel room with 3racha? THEE 3RACHA?

Once you two sit, Chan immediately starts to ask you about yourself. You reveal you just graduated college, and the concert earlier was a little treat for yourself after managing to save money while still paying your tuition and other expenses. You talk about your hometown, your favorite shows, your favorite songs, and how you got into Skz

“In my sophomore year of college, I had a professor who loved to play music at the start of class. She usually played louder music to wake everyone up since the class was so early, one day she played Gods Menu- I Shazammed the song and the rest was history”

Chan laughs hysterically at this, even more so that you added the fact that your teacher was a 70-something-year-old lady.

“That’s so cute” He smiles, “So you’ve been a fan for a couple of years”

“Yep. My friends have been fans for much longer though, one of them since pre-debut”

“That’s sweet” He grins, “We love our Stays, especially ones that are so beautiful”

He takes his hand and caresses your face, making your heart start to beat concerningly fast. You hear the other two men stop arguing, looking over to see them watching you and Chan with twin looks of lust.

“We saw you in the venue,” Chan says, bringing your attention back to him, “I’m sorry if all of this is overwhelming, please tell us if you feel uncomfortable”

“It’s okay,” You say quickly, “I’m okay”

Changbin and Han come and stand by the table, Han giving you a shy smile and Changbin’s smirk making you bite your lip.

“The other members saw you too,” Han says

“Where are they?” You question

“In their rooms. We figured we may scare you off if you saw all eight of us. Don’t want you to feel cornered” Chan explains

A strong sense of boldness and pure disbelief fill you as you utter a quiet, “They can come in here”

And with that, Changbin leaves the room and comes back minutes later with the other five members.

“Hi” Felix’s deep voice and bright smile greet you, “Glad to see you”

“Thought you wouldn’t come,” Seungmin says, “This is a little strange, isn’t it?”

The boys all sit in various spots in the room. You and Chan remain at the small table, him giving you reassuring looks as you contemplate the situation in front of you

“Why did you guys invite me here?” You ask

“We wanna fuck you,” Seungmin says bluntly

A chorus of scoldings comes his way as he laughs

“It’s true!” He exclaims, “It’s not fair to keep her guessing. We saw you and thought you were so gorgeous that we thought it’d be worth a shot to ask you here”

“Of course, you don’t have to do anything,” Felix says, “You can leave right now, no problem”

You contemplate for a moment. How is this real life? How in the fuck did you find yourself surrounded by eight of the most beautiful men on Earth, all wanting to fuck you?

If this is a dream, you don’t want to wake up -so with that in mind- you say;

“I wanna stay”

Hyunjin is shocked at your acceptance of the offer, “Are you sure?” He asks

“Yes,” You say with an odd sense of confidence, “Give me the NDA”

Han goes to one of the nightstands and pulls out a stack of paper from the drawer.

“You have the last page of it, this is the rest.” He says, handing it to you

“Do you guys just have NDAs on standby?” You joke, but Chan looks at you with a look of seriousness

“Our team does in case any of us choose to have a random hook up” He admits, “This one is more lengthy though”

You start to look through the papers, all the men patiently waiting for you to read through everything.

There’s a “hook up” clause, essentially saying that you can’t reveal anything about the one night you and any member have had.

There’s a “Causal” clause, one stating that if you and any member(s) were to have causal interactions, you are not to say or allude to anything.

However, there’s a “Connection” clause, this one revealing that you are allowed to spend time with any member(s) [If you and he choose to stay in contact in a serious matter] with help from JYP staff. You are allowed to attend any Skz events of your choosing, be at their residence, and go out with them on dates while swearing to not say anything about the arrangement and allow the staff to keep a close eye on you.

“Interesting” Is all you say by the time you finish the paperwork. I.N. had silently given you a pen to write your signature on a couple of dotted lines.

“There are three arrangements” Felix reiterates, “Do any of them sound good to you?”

“I’d prefer the connection arrangement,” You say truthfully, “I’ve had casual sex here and there but I’d like to build some kind of relationship with you all”

Heat rises to your face as you look back at a smiley Chan.

“I understand I’m only a fan but I would hate to just fuck you all and then leave. Especially if I’m offered free concerts and shit”

Chan and Felix burst out in laughter, making you even more comfortable than you were before

“No, I understand” Chan nods, “We’d love to get to know you as well.”

“Great, I’m glad we’re in agreeance”

As much as you wish you could have just hugged all of them and started the process of getting to know the members, you caught sight of how good they looked right at that moment.

And well, you have needs.

You look around the room and your eyes stop at a shy-looking I.N, whose face turns red at the way you were looking at him.

“Do you guys have condoms?”

~~~~|~~~~

Taglist: @anxiousskylar @openthevale @kaiyaba @blackbluerose666 @angelhyunjinnie @hyun-hwanj @shuporangporangilinos @jisungsbammey @yumiblogs @sillyhal @chrizztopher97

[nexahexagon]

Fun little page for the squish guy, little ideas I wanted to draw out!! He is so fun to color, and I think it’s cuz I like to overlap colors on him and I haven’t nailed a specific design either so he’s just fun to mess with!!

Might make a Helsknight one soon

Rambles on design ideas below cut cuz it’s too long for tags imo. Actually it’s just long. In general.

Tanguish being a cold guy, literally frosting things over with a touch, should be a little extra icy as a treat. I’ve had a little brainworm of HK and Guish having a snow day for so long but I haven’t drawn it, but that’s off topic! I feel he slowly gets icier the longer he stays on HermitCraft and defrosts the moment he enters Hels, and I think peak icy he’s like a lighter blue- like proper icy guy (still has dark spots- like compact ice? Idk how to describe what I’m thinking of). There’s also a little dialogue I have in my head that idk if I wanna make a mini comic of yet but it’s essentially:

HK: Why’s your hair wet? Why’re you, like, damp??

Guish: Hm? Oh, it’s just. Defrosting? I’m defrosting. You know?

HK: No?? I don’t? Defrosting? What- are you melting?

But I also feel HK would piece it together or at least just leave Tanguish to his personal devices as long as it wasn’t harming him?? Like

[Huh, that’s weird. Oh well, I’ll keep in mind my friend defrosts occasionally. I guess. Should I get more towels? So he can dry off? How do I prepare for defrosting?]

And I can’t tell which is funnier? But anyways.

I kinda like the backless tank idea!! Realistically, it’d be a pain to put on normal clothes, but he is a fictional character so I could put whatever and his spikes are a-okay cuz I said so!! But it could also be slid into the “ways to keep cool” slot, cuz he is ice incarnate.

Bat ears. Cuz I said so. Also, sculk.

I like to think Tanguish (from my previous designs at least) would start adding red bits almost unconsciously after hanging out with Helsknight. Nothing as big as a red cloak of course, but a small red handkerchief here, maybe a hole in his shirt/pants is patched with red thread bc that’s all HK really has laying around? Some tiny red patches as well perhaps?? Idk, I’m not sure I’d add much but I might.

I also kinda want to blend his hair with his spikes but. I haven’t done that much yet. Also the wraps on his hands are copper colored cuz it looks nice with the blue :].

[calypso707]

Did you get a request? It's an one shot for Astarion to react to gn crush who would always help him if they can but always refuse to repayed in any way whether it's money or anything else. Thanks!

For this request, I decided to simply make a part 2 of my OS - Astarion x Gn druid reader : On your skin (pt 1). I thought it was a good fit for this idea! Enjoy! ♥

OS - Astarion x Gn druid reader : On your skin (Pt 2).

You and your companions had been at Baldur's Gate for a few days now. You'd never really enjoyed life in the city, and certainly not here, where you could feel the poison spreading through the ground and into every living creature around you. Trees were dying, wild animals were fleeing, birds were silent.

During a seemingly routine patrol along the banks of the Chionthar River, you were ambushed by some disciples of Bhaal, the Lord of Murder. They outnumbered your group and seemed more dangerous every time. Since the death of Ketheric Thorm, Orin the Red had been tracking you like a predator watching and playing with its prey. The disciples under her command would do anything to spill your blood. Just as one of Bhaal's assassins dashed towards Astarion, dagger raised, you lifted your arm to imprison him with vines that you conjured up from the ground with your magic.

"Astarion, look out!" you cried.

You couldn't see if the enemy had managed to hit Astarion, for your attention was immediately diverted by another one who threw himself at you. You barely had time to drop ice spikes on him, which pierced his body from all sides, his knife merely grazing your cheek. As his lifeless body collapsed heavily at your feet, you looked towards Astarion, who had just thrust his blade into the heart of the man you had imprisoned earlier in your vines. Karlach and Lae'zel slaughtered the last ones who resisted them. Silence fell around you, it was finally over. You drew a breath and made the climbing plants disappear with a wave of your hand.

"'Is everyone alright?" you asked, wiping the blood from your cheek.

"Affirmative, soldier," Karlach replied.

"Tsk. Orin's tracking us like wild fowl, I cannot wait to give her a taste of my blade." added Lae'zel.

"Let's get back to camp" you announced.

Astarion seemed far too quiet for you. You still had enough strength left to open a portal leading directly to camp. Lae'zel and Karlach stepped through, soon followed by Astarion and you. A step through and you found yourself facing the campfire in the center of the old barn. Your eyes hovered over your three companions standing beside you. Karlach had a few scratches but didn't seem to be suffering, Lae'zel had superficial wounds that still merited some treatment, and Astarion seemed to be fine - well, he seemed elsewhere.

You thanked Halsin and Shadowheart, who had come to treat the wounded. You chose to treat your wounds alone with your own ointments and elixirs. As you headed for your tent, footsteps behind you made you turn around. It was Astarion.

"Are you wounded?" you asked, worried.

"Well.. Yes," he sighed, pouting.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"For nothing in the world would I miss an opportunity to be healed by my favorite druid." he grinned, winking.

You sighed at his words. Despite his smile, you noticed his discomfort, you tried to examine him carefully and found the source of his pain, a cut on the inside of his arm. The blood dripping from it blended in with the dark fabric of his outfit. You let him into your tent, your little sanctuary had become very familiar to him. This time, however, he didn't sit, he stood. You approached him and started undoing the buttons on his jacket, then on the shirt underneath. You could feel his gaze scrutinizing your every move, but you remained focused. You were imperturbable, especially when it came to treating wounds. You slid your hands under the fabric and against his skin, the contrast of his icy skin against yours always surprised you. You slid the garment as gently as possible.

"This is getting ridiculous,' finally said Astarion.

"What's that?" you asked without understanding and without taking your eyes off his wound. The blade had ripped his skin, but if care was taken, it would heal properly.

"This. You keep helping me, at the risk of getting yourself hurt. This is ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous, the situation was under control," you replied. It wasn't totally true, though; you'd just been lucky and had a good reflex.

You grabbed a wooden bowl containing a mixture of weavemoss and mugwort bundle that would stop the bleeding. Your touch and the coolness of the mixture made him shiver, its effect was immediate, the blood stopped. You wrapped the wound in a clean bandage then you finally looked at him. His scarlet eyes never left your face.

"Your compulsive kindness sickens me," continued Astarion. "I am forever in your debt, and I do not know how to repay it. Tell me what you want. Tell me what to do."

You kept staring at him, completely stunned by his words, and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. For him, pure altruism didn't exist. Life was just a succession of exchanges or debts that absolutely had to be repaid. You wanted him to see beyond that.

"I don't want anything in return, Astarion. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I'm doing this because I care about you?" you replied. "I simply don't want to lose you"

Astarion seemed genuinely troubled by your words. You'd never been false to him. You cared about this vampire spawn. You'd shared many moments together, but the ones you preferred, apart from the nights spent by his side, were when you treated his scars or healed his wounds. These were intimate moments, that you cherished because they allowed you to discover his vulnerability. The same vulnerability you were seeing at that very moment. He allowed himself to emerge from the darkness of his past that threatened to envelop him to stand in the light beside you.

"It is even more annoying." he sighed. He moved his hand over your cheek, sliding his thumb over the dried blood that had drained from your cut. "But I rather like that idea, that you care about me."

.。・゜・。..。・゜・。..。・゜・。..。・゜・。..。・゜・。..。・゜

i'm not totally satisfied with what I've written but thank you for reading it, feel free to check out my other writings on Astarion! ♥︎♥︎

Astarion x gn reader : On your skin (pt 1)

Astarion x gn reader : A thousand thanks

Astarion x gn reader : No place for love

Fic : Astarion x Fem! bard Tav : Fruit of the Poisonned Tree

[artificialkids-2k23-official]

Submission Rules

submission form

Character must be considered a child or teenager by the standards of their canon (so if they're five hundred but created to be, behave as, and are treated by the narrative as a child or teenager, they count; if they're two and were created to mimic an adult, they don't).

Character must have been artificially created in some way, whether a robot, a clone, a puppet brought to life, or what have you. For our purposes, "artificially created" refers to anything created outside of the standards for their world (so a human who was created without the traditional combo of egg-and-sperm, but if that method is normal for an alien species, those aliens don't count).

I want to keep it to one or two characters per canon so if I get a lot of characters from one canon we'll have a royale bracket to determine which two get to ride. Likewise, characters like Pinocchio with multiple adaptations will have a royale bracket to determine which one gets to rep all Pinokes.

No Homestuck submissions. I know just enough about Homestuck that I would believe you about literally any character and I don't feel like sifting through them to decide who gets to ride.

No major figures from currently practiced religions. (This is me getting in before someone tries to submit Jesus of Nazareth.)

I reserve the right to veto if I think the character's backstory is stupid and shouldn't have involved artificial creation. (This is me getting in before someone tries to submit Webby Vanderquack.)

If there are multiple versions of the character's canon, please include whether they are only artificial in certain versions, and if so which one(s). This way I can be sure to grab graphics from the right versions.

Characters I like or that my friends submit may get added even if they don't do the necessary numbers. This is called the Nepotism Clause.

The following characters are already riding based on the nepotism clause:

Boyd Drake (Ducktales 2o17)

Penny Polendina (RWBY)

Astro (Astroboy)

Rusty the Boy Robot (Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot)

Pinocchio (version to be decided)

Spike the Dragon (My Little Pony)

Lena Sabrewing (Ducktales 2o17)

Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama)

Laura Kinney/X-23 (X-Men Evolution)

Jenny Wakeman (My Life As A Teenage Robot)

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic)

Theta AI (Red vs Blue)

How this will work:

Depending on how many submissions I get, I'll choose the most popular up to a certain number shy of a clean bracket. For the remaining slots, I'll post a series of royale brackets (ten names, winner rides) to determine who among the single-votes gets to ride.

I am also reserving the right to automatically add someone to the bracket because someone made a strong enough case for them, so feel free to gush about how much your artificial blorbo deserves this the most.

While I'm taking submissions, I'll run several warm up brackets for a few special cases, so stay tuned for those.

Also, an important note! This is a nice bracket. There will be no steel chairs here. When this is all over we're taking the kids out for ice cream and the winner gets a trophy but everyone gets ice cream.

[esta-elavaris]

Flufftober Day 19: Keeping Someone Safe ~ Vilkas/F!Dragonborn [2,166 words]

My Flufftober '23 masterpost can be found here 💜✨

Canon-typical violence here ⚔️ more hurt/comfort than fluff honestly, but it has a fluffy ending!

In hindsight, Vilkas should have seen it coming. Over time, he’d grown accustomed to Astra’s affinity for magic – mostly because by the time they’d known one another for a year, by the time she was Harbinger and he felt shamed by how he’d treated her in those early days, there was little he suspected he would not accept about her. Not lead because the more he saw, the more respect he had, and the more he knew there was nothing she would do that he could not respect.

There was one spell, however, that disconcerted him from the very first moment he saw it. It was after they’d avenged Kodlak, making camp after a fierce battle with the Silverhand…and all the while, he struggled to continue pretending he had not yet noticed just how damned beautiful she was. It was more difficult to keep up that pretence now that their mission was complete and all that was left to do was face the return journey to Jorrvaskr together.

She’d been in a questionable state, then – sore, tired, bloodied, just as he was, but with the added dilemma of being low on Magicka. When their fire would not start, the wood too frost-ridden and the impending blizzard threatening to make it worse, she’d trotted out the spell. Brow furrowed in concentration, her right hand was held aloft and a foul red light began to wind its way around her, leaving Vilkas to watch warily as her face grew a shade paler. After, she’d been able to conjure a fireball hot and strong enough to get the fire going.

“I thought you’d ran out of magic back then,” he’d said. “Does it regenerate that quickly?”

Something to do with her being the Dragonborn, perhaps?

“The spell before that,” she’d explained, voice rough. “It adds to my magic reserves – at the cost of my health.”

“To what extent?”

“Whatever extent the caster allows. A desperate measure…but this cold would kill even Nords such as us.”

Afterwards, he’d put the matter from his mind all too willingly. It had, after all, been the only time he’d seen her use it – before or since. She’d spoken truthfully when she said it was a desperate measure, and he could not fairly fault her for using it in those cases. Vilkas trusted her judgement.

At least until the next time rolled around.

What was supposed to have been a fairly routine draugr-infested dungeon clear-out ended up sending them headlong into a fight with something much more terrible. A Dragon Priest. They’d been woefully ill-prepared for such a battle. Foolishly ill-prepared, even with Astra’s habit of hoarding potions instead of damn well using them. And it showed. By that point, retreat wasn’t an option – some foul sorcery keeping them locked in the dungeon until they defeated their foe, and so the only way to go was through.

The fight was a laborious thing – even by the standards of their usual fights – their foe was fierce, but that was not a trait that they themselves lacked either, and it eventually became clear that it was a matter of who would tire first. Who would make the first mistake. Vilkas knew not whether Dragon Priests tired, but he could only hope that if not, they at least erred.

Moments after that half-hearted hope crossed his mind, disaster struck. Wedging the blade of her dagger in her mouth, Astra bared her teeth in a feral snarl, brought her two palms together, and shot a hefty ice spike in the direction of the Priest. It hit its mark, flying through his ward like it was nothing and embedded itself in his chest, sending him flying back from where he’d hovered in mid-air. But the force knocked Astra back, too, landing hard on the stone floor of the tomb. The Dragon Priest recovered faster.

Vilkas had no arsenal of spells – he had no bow, he didn’t even have a dagger. Nothing to stop the Priest from attacking, and no time to cover the distance required to prevent any real attack. Either dazed, weakened, or both, Astra faltered in getting up and the loathsome creature lifted one gnarled hand, ice forming around its claw-like fingers much like it had gathered in the blonde’s grasp moments prior.

Ducking, Vilkas seized an axe from the hand of a dispatched draugr and hurled it at the Priest. It met its mark, finishing the job Astra’s previous attack had started…but not before the ice spike shot from its hand. It was then that he did the only thing he could do – the only thing that made sense.

“Vilkas, no!” her shriek was ragged, and he went down at the same time the Priest did.

Although it looked like he’d die a touch more slowly, the spike embedded neatly between his collarbones, hardly slowed at all by his armour. He tasted copper rather swiftly. Kneeling over him in an instant, her icy blue eyes wide with terror, she tried to summon the familiar golden glow of a healing spell into her hands – both hands – but it fizzled out before his skin could even be warmed by it.

Swearing raggedly, she parted her hands. The light in the right remained golden, but the left was soon enveloped in the glowing red light he’d hated so much the last time he’d seen it.

Vilkas seized her hand, unable to speak – unable to tell her not to be so daft, nor that if there was any way he could choose to go, it would be this one. In defence of her. Unable even to admit that he only wished he’d been able to kiss her first. Just once.

But she shook him off, and that terrible red light began worming its way up her arm, her face paling as she channelled her lifeforce into driving healing magic into him, instead. The world faded to black by the time the red glow had wormed its way up to her elbow.

Consciousness returned to him in dribs and drabs. A scratchy tightness in his throat that usually followed a night of giving in to his brother plying him with ale – along with an ache in his shoulders and upper back, reminding him that he was no longer a lad who had seen but twenty summers, who might sleep where he dropped without feeling the consequences of it the next day.

He grunted, but it came out as more of a wheeze, a stray gust of wind howled throughout the crypt, and awareness finally hit him. As did the quiet. Eyes flying open, the light assaulted them quickly but he did not allow himself to pause, hands scrabbling for purchase on the stony floor as he shoved himself up. As he did so, his right hand met skin – smooth, soft skin, not that of any draugr. And it was cold as ice.

Astra lay slumped on the ground beside him, her face stark white and her lips blue – so blue that he thought her dead, until her eyelids twitched and he caught the shallow, beleaguered rise and fall of her chest. Vilkas had seen enough corpses to know she was very close to becoming one.

She had her last resorts, and he had his. Graverobbing. They’d passed enough burial urns to come through here, plenty brimming with treasures left behind for long-departed loved ones, leaving them all untouched because they weren’t beasts. But now he had no choice. If he had to answer to the Nine for this one day, so be it.

Minutes later he returned, although he still feared it was too long a time away, feeling sick to the core that he’d return to find the few meagre signs of life utterly gone – that she’d passed alone, on the floor of a dungeon while he scraped for scraps to help. But she had not. So, he allowed himself to hope. The three healing potions he’d managed to find helped with that, and he hoped they would help more still.

The potion ordinarily looked like pink-tinged water, but it might as well have been as vivid as blood for how it stood out in sharp contrast to her pallor, pooling at her lips and sliding down her chin. She’d cut one side of her lips when she’d wedged the dagger between them, and the potion healed as it trickled across it, the skin slowly knitting together. Vilkas stared at it for a moment, and then he took inspiration – if she could not drink it, perhaps she would still absorb it.

Cutting away her leather armour, and dearly hoping she’d live to scold him for it later, he dripped the potion across whatever skin he could find. Her jaw, her neck, the expanse of skin above her breastband, and he almost sobbed in relief when her heartbeat strengthened beneath his ministrations, and colour slowly returned to her skin.

By the time he uncorked the second bottle, she was hazily drinking it down – although still far from conscious. Hope. All he could do was hope.

Astra was awoken by the smell of a campfire. The sound of one, too, after she drifted a little more into consciousness. A fleeting sense of urgency flitted through her then – but one untethered to anything so mundane as reason or coherency, so she left it to drift by with little more than a furrowed brow and a weary exhale. The sigh wheezed its way out of her, high and reedy. She grunted. Had she drank last night? Farkas, though she loved him like a brother, liked to pretend that all had the same tolerance to ale that he did.

“Astra?”

It was not Farkas’ voice that met her ears then, but Vilkas’ – and that was all it took for everything to hit. Vilkas. The last she recalled, she’d been kneeling over him as he died, furiously funnelling more and more of her lifeforce into Magicka, despite the dizziness that pulled at her head, the black spots dotting her vision, and the cold that quickly seeped into her bones.

Her eyes opened as a hand cupped the side of her face, and she was met with the sight of piercing grey eyes before her. And a grin. Vilkas so rarely grinned – although he was not so without humour as he’d have some believe. His usual war paint was little more than a brown smudge around the very edges of his eyes, blending in to the dark circles that had formed around his eyes, thick dark stubble lined his jaw, and there was an angry patch of sore red skin at his throat, as though he’d had a brush with what was almost frostbite.

Throwing herself into his arms required more strength than she had – but he met her halfway, pulling her bodily the rest of the distance until she was all but in his lap, clinging to her as fiercely as she tried to cling to him.

“Never again!” he insisted fiercely into her tangled hair. “Do you hear me, Astra? Never!”

“Should we talk about the decision that led to me doing it?” she countered, unabashed. “Would you make me such a promise?”

He drew back and she only then noted their surroundings. Still where they’d been when she was last conscious, he’d dragged out the bodies of the draugr and the Dragon Priest, and decimated a bookcase and its ancient contents for the fire that now burned on the cleared-out stone floor. He’d even unpacked his bedroll to deposit her into. How long had she been out? It took the fire out of her next question more than her sorry shape ever could.

“What were you thinking?” she breathed. “You dove in front of that…you were a hair’s breadth from…”

She was certain he was going to die – and even then, she’d have acted no differently, fuelling her life-force into healing spells to drive into his lifeless- no. No. It had not happened. Against all odds, it had not happened. Her hands began to tremble, even where they clung onto him.

Through it all, all she could think of was how stupid they’d been. Not even in what they’d done here, for deep down she knew if it were to happen again tomorrow, or in an hour, or in the next minute, they’d do it all again exactly as they had, but in everything before. In all of the shared looks that didn’t amount to anything, both too nervous to have the follow-through on what they both hoped the other was feeling. The thing that now showed very clearly in both of their faces, and how they clung to one another still.

“I couldn’t lose you,” he said. “I won’t lose you.”

“…We’re of one mind then,” she said.

It took less bravery than she thought. Because it was obvious now, was it not?

If it hadn’t already shown on his face, she would’ve known from the way he kissed her then.

Links: AO3 -- FF.net -- flufftober masterpost -- dividers by cafekitsune

[ceruleanmusings]

A Batch Made in Heaven: Mickames

dusting this one off from 2020. have fun with james being a mess - literally.

@partiallypearl @witchofinterest @raging-violets

------

Pulling faces at the acrid stench, James waved a mitted hand over the smoking hunks of cookie sitting on the baking tray. His nose wrinkled. Calling it a cookie was being generous. Disaster was a better word. Blowing out a sigh, he removed the oven mitt and tossed it onto the counter. A plume of flour shot up and hit him in the face, making him slam his eyes shut and press his lips into a straight line.

Great. Just great. Now there was no point to the apron; his nice, pressed shirt was ruined and the flour in his hair had to be sucking up any bit of moisture left. He couldn’t have dull, dry locks. Any bit of shine less than the surface of, well, a diamond was completely unacceptable!

Wrestling the looping neck hole over his head, James tossed it aside, casting a forlorn glance at the flour and dried cookie dough clinging to the once pristine fibers of his shirt. Now he was two for two. Thankfully his dark denim and sneakers were left unscathed but now he had to change his outfit; he could make anything look amazing but even he had to draw the line at oil stains and sticky residue. They weren’t exactly his idea of a good accessory.

Whirling around, his eyes landed on the glowing neon green numbers on the oven clock. 1:07. Okay, that gave him a little bit of time. Not enough to fix everything but maybe he could get a new shirt on and at least add some fresh spritzes of Cuda Man Spray to his neck. It would do in a pinch and had to be much better than the smoldering ashes left on the baking sheet, reminding him of his failure. As if he needed their physical presence to do that.

“Knock knock!” Drat, too late! Why did she have to finally get over her habit of not walking right into the apartment? And why did she have to be so punctual? A few extra moments to himself and he’d at least be an eight on the James Diamond Presentation Scale rather than sitting at a mediocre seven.

It was an odd combination, the swooping flutter in his chest colliding with a spiking throb of dread at the sight of Mickey coming in through the door, eyes shining, bounce in her step as always. He’d never felt so torn between wanting to dive right into the pure shot of joy at seeing her or succumbing to the aversion of her seeing him like this: unkempt, messy, disheveled. Elation won over, lifting his mouth to a cresting smile, spreading a pleasant buzz right beneath his skin when she wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug, burying her face in his chest.

“Mmm,” she hummed, tilting her head back, resting her chin against him to look up at him, “you smell good.”

“Thanks, I make it a point not to smell bad.”

“Well, yeah, that,” she said with a laugh, “but I meant something else. Something sweet. Like icing or sugar or…” Taking a step back, he relished in the drag of her fingers against this sides, lightly pulling at his clothes. “This.” Her finger jabbed at the spot on his shirt; he looked down as well, as if seeing it for the first time. “What’s that?”

He brushed his hand against his shirt, batting the dough away, mentally groaning at the darkened stain left on him. Maybe Mama Knight could find a way to get rid of the stain; she was good with all that laundry stuff. The first and only time James tried he ruined a good shirt. All Mama Knight said was to scrub to pre-treat a stain. Who knew you weren’t supposed to use steel wool? “Nothing.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “So…you make it a habit to walk around looking like you got beaten up by the Pillsbury Doughboy?” The backslap of her hand to his sleeve cast another puff of flour off him.

James snorted. “Okay, for one, if I actually got into a fight with the Doughboy I’d win.” At the amused expression on her face he added an emphatic, “easily” which made her laugh. “And, no, I don’t. I just…I wanted…” His mouth pressed into a line and his fingers twitched by his sides.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Mickey to know he was baking. Or, rather, that he tried. She could sniff out the smell of vanilla or browned butter from a mile away. He didn’t want her to know he failed. He was James Diamond. He achieved every dream he put into place, he won every competition he entered, he and his buds played on a winning high school hockey team. Failure wasn’t a word that existed in his world. His parents made sure of it; his pride doubled down on it. Sure, he may have suffered a few setbacks, but he didn’t fail. He couldn’t fail. Not like this, not now.

Heaving a sigh, James rubbed his forehead. Maybe he could still salvage this somehow. People always said honesty was the best policy; someone had to be right about that at some point or else people wouldn’t keep saying it. But that usually ended up with the guys being mad at him over stating their inadequacies during rehearsal (compared to him anyway.) But Mickey had only two things she wanted when they started dating: respect and communication. Something told him honesty fell in there somewhere. “Don’t laugh, okay?” James took Mickey’s shoulders and spun her around. He counted the seconds ticking by looking at the back of her head, waiting for her to notice the chunks of cement arranged on the pan. It took seven seconds; the same amount of time it took her to fail at restraining a laugh at a good joke.

“Hey! Hockey pucks!” Tilting her head back, she smiled up at him. “That’s cute.”

“They aren’t hockey pucks. They’re cookies.”

She blinked, smile fading. “Oh.”

“I made them.”

“Oh.”

“For you.”

“…Oh!”

James grumbled. “Stop saying that.”

“Sorry! I just…don’t know what to say.” She paused. “You don’t bake.”

“I know.” Well, that wasn’t exactly how he expected it, though he was glad the guys weren’t there. They’d never let him hear the end of it.

Mickey approached the cookies, poking at the side of one. It crumbled into a pile of ash, and she pulled her lips into a line. Pulling a face, James rested his arms against the side of the counter. All that work for nothing. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cook anything either,” she commented.

“I make chicken nuggets all the time.”

“That doesn’t count. All you do is heat them up.”

“Yeah, but I have to push a button to do it.” In one fell swoop her eyelids drooped to half-mast and her weight switched to one side. “You push a button to turn on the oven, it’s the same thing!” he said.

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“Yeah, well, it takes a lot of effort to pull off the plastic wrap for the nuggets.”

“All that hard work at the gym has finally paid off.”

James pouted. “Stop being mean.” Her mouth turned up in a half smile and she picked up a cookie, one of the few that didn’t look too terrible. It wasn’t until it was halfway to her face realization thundered in him and he jerked upwards. “Wait, you don’t have to eat it!”

She gave him a look. “You made them for me. I should at least try one.”

“You really don’t!” His words had no effect on her as she took a bite. Muscles in her face twitched, her chewing slowed, and he swore at one point she went cross-eyed. She placed a hand on her chest and let out an audible swallow. Groaning, James shoved his face in his hands. “I told you.” His muffled words slipped out between his fingers.

“It’s not…entirely…terrible.” Peeking through his fingers he watched her stick her tongue out a few times, touching the edge of her bite mark. “I just have a question,” she said, turning the cookie one way and the other, “did you use root beer in this?”

“Yeah.”

“Follow-up question: why?”

James shrugged. “Because we didn’t have baking soda.” Her head whipped up and the alarmed expression on her face made him take a step back. “What? They’re both soda. Says so on the box.”

“Not…not that kind of soda.” She brought the cookie to her mouth again only to toss it down on the tray. It made a loud and heavy clang. “…Why is it…weirdly sweet? Is that dairy creamer?”

He nodded. “We didn’t have butter.” She let out a whooping laugh and slapped her hand across her mouth. His lips vibrated as he blew a raspberry and dragged a hand through his hair. “I messed up, I get it.”

“Well, I mean, baking’s a science.” His nose wrinkled. Ugh! What did science have anything to do with love gestures? No wonder it all went south. Science ruins everything. “Hey.” She approached him and lifted her head. On instinct, James leaned down, turning his head for her. A pleasant buzz in his stomach at the touch of her lips to his cheek. “Thank you. No one’s ever made cookies for me before.”

He shrugged. “Well, I mean, you make things for everyone else all the time and take care of us. I wanted to try to take care of you too.”

Gratitude lit up her dark eyes and she kissed his cheek again. “You know you don’t have to be perfect at it. The effort’s all I care about. Though I have to say I’m kind of relieved you messed this up.”

“Why?”

“Because now I know you’re bad at something. You were starting to freak me out. Plus! I can show off.” With a flourish, she whipped the apron off the counter and adorned it with a few quick twists of her wrist. As she went to the refrigerator, James rounded the counter and hoisted himself onto the orange bar stool. Grabbing the abandoned bag of chocolate chips, he turned it over.

“What are you doing?” Mickey closed the refrigerator with her hip, clutching a carton of eggs in one hand and a bowl holding the bag of flour and sugar in the other.

“Looking for the recipe.”

Her chin tilted forward and focused look came to her eye, making James sit up straight. “You think I need a recipe?” she asked, a smirk slowly forming on her lips. “You’re cute.” She set the bowl and the carton on the counter. “You just sit there and look pretty.”

“Is that all I am to you?” Not that he minded. Some people were born to look pretty, and everyone else were born to entertain. Lucky for him, he could do both.

“Every artist needs a muse. Lucky for me, you’re very a-muse-ing.” She laughed to herself, cackled really. James’ smile reached halfway, fading when his eyes slid past her to the tray of wrecked cookies nearby. His mouth twisted to the side and he pushed a breath out his nose. Mickey glanced at him at the sound, then her eyes followed his gaze to the pan, and then back to him. He did his best to rearrange his face but it was no use; as she once, said he didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, he wore it on his face. And yet, even then, his mother still found a way to ignore it.

“Just so you know, you’re not messing up.” He scoffed. What kind of boyfriend couldn’t even manage to make something as simple as cookies? “I mean this”—she motioned to the pan behind her—"yeah, this is a lost cause. But for the boyfriend part, you’re doin’ a pretty good job.”

“Just pretty good?”

“I have nothing to compare you to so, no matter what, you’re always the best in my book.” And he knew she was being honest; she tended to avoid eye contact, finding it a little too close and too intimate and too vulnerable. But now her gaze held strong and steady; the earnest look in her eyes pierced through him and dropped down to his toes. He held out his hand and she placed hers in his, letting out a soft giggle when he kissed the back of her hand.

“Thank you,” he said.

She pulled his hand forward, kissing the back of his in return. “You’re welcome.”

[quill-pen]

Modern AU Scroogeverse: Starbucks orders

@rom-e-o and I joked around about it a little this morning, so I thought it might be fun to do.

Disclaimer: I, personally, am not a coffee drinker at all. I hate everything about coffee--the smell, the taste, the noise the coffee maker makes as it brews. And I never have dealings with Starbucks because I think they're a little overhyped and expensive.

Note: Americanized Bess has absolutely influenced these people's taste on things like iced and cold beverages. As she should. Cold drinks are lifeblood.

Ebenezer: First off, nobody makes coffee like his beloved Bess (she does it the old-fashioned way on the stove and adds just the right amount of heavy cream and cinnamon) so that's usually where Eb gets his coffee (she'll pour it in a thermos and send it out the door with him). But on the occasions Bess' coffee is unavailable for various reasons, Starbucks is an easy stop on the way to work. His drink of choice: the dark roast, tall, cinnamon powder, heavy cream, and two pumps of cinnamon syrup (if it's the holidays, he'll add a pump of the peppermint) to make up for the lack of Bess' TLC. It's good, but still not as good as Bess'; every sip of her coffee is like her love in liquid form and you bloody hell can't beat that. If he's had several late nights at the office, Ebenezer will also add a few shots of the signature espresso. If he has to attend a morning business meeting he's been dreading, the man has also been known to fill a flask with a little "feel-good" juice and spike his drink just enough to get through the meeting. He doesn't get anything else from Starbucks. He might try something Bess gets, but, as stated before, Starbucks is merely a handy substitute: He's not about to take time to explore their menu. Note: They never get his name right. Ebenezer is now simply known as 'Ed' at the local Starbucks.

Bess: For warm weather: a grande iced dark chocolate mocha with heavy cream and light ice. The number of espresso shots depends on how busy work has been. For cold weather: a tall caffè mocha, with warm heavy cream, light foam, and six mocha pumps. Again the number of espresso shots depends on work. If she's in the mood for something particularly sweet, Bess will usually go for one of their chocolate chocolatey frappucinos. She doesn't have a particular favorite--she likes them all--but always gets them in grande. Note: You think they'd be able to get Bess, easy enough, but no; she's been called "Bed", "Bless", "Beth", "Bet", "Bast", and "Bath". These people aren't even trying, are they?

Bob: Doesn't go to Starbucks--it's not on his way to work and it's too expensive (he's got lots of kids to take care of, even if now being partners with Mr. Scrooge makes life so much easier and comfy). He stops in at a local mom-and-pop place called 'The Grinds' and gets a large, cowboy coffee with a little milk and sugar. (He's also sweet-talked the barista into adding some espresso shots. The man has like a dozen kids, okay?! He needs it to get through the day!)

Ethel: Unlike Bob, will occasionally patronize Starbucks--mostly when she is out with the other girls. Because this is only an occasional thing, Ethel likes to treat herself (she deserves it!): a venti strawberry crème frappuccino with vanilla sweet cream, extra whipped cream, five syrup pumps, two espresso shots, toasted vanilla syrup, cookie crumble topping, mocha sauce, and extra strawberry puree. Leave her alone--she's affording herself a rare treat--it's fine. Note: Don't always get her name right either, but they get it right more often than with Bess.

Harry: Does not have a favorite. Man gets something different every time he goes and has liked everything equally. He does have a particular fondness for their frozen fruit beverages though, but only in summer. When the weather gets cold, he'll go for their hot apple drinks. The only customization he insists upon is extra cinnamon or peppermint during the holiday season. After all, he loves Christmas--it's his favorite time of year! He always gets the largest option. Note: Yes, his name always gets spelled right, usually accompanied by little Harry Potter flourishes. He finds them so charming and tries to keep them all. Hela eventually throws them out when he's clearly forgotten about them--usually after a week.

Hela: Usually goes for their teas. It's a toss-up between a short honey citrus mint with light lemonade and an extra pump of honey or a short, regular matcha tea latte. Note: Only gets her name spelled right if she's served by a fan of Marvel.

Tom: He is a very simple man. In the cold, he beelines for their hot chocolate: grande, steamed whole milk, doubled mocha pumps with extra whipped cream, and extra caramel drizzle with caramel sauce lining the cup. In the heat, it's a regular mango dragonfruit lemonade with extra ice. Note: Once got named "Dom" at Starbucks. The barista winked at him as she passed him his drink. Addie was with him and did not appreciate it; she absolutely took a cue from her cousin and groped his ass on the way out. The ride home was very long after that, but the events that played out at home were a blast.

Addie: In the cold, she loves the white hot chocolate. She'll usually get a tall with oat milk, extra foam brown sugar syrup with a mocha cause lining, and chocolate mint cookie sprinkles with light whipped cream. In the heat, her go-to is a grande iced brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso with salted caramel foam, mocha drizzle, whipped cream, and caramel crunch topping. Note: Often gets called "Abbie", but one time, somehow, she got called "Baddie". She rode that high for a week.

Ernie: Isn't really a coffee man, so he mostly sticks to the teas. He goes for the classic Earl Grey with a little lemonade, honey, and a pinch of cinnamon. If he's looking for something cooler, he just goes for the lemonade. Nothing very complicated. Note: Absolutely gets "Bert" added in with his name like 80% of the time. The joke is getting old now, folks.

Ella: Honestly, she doesn't do Starbucks. She had one drink once--a huge chocolate java mint frap, loaded up with all the best goodies. It was so good. But the stomach flu was going through the Cratchit household at the time and she got hit with it right after she had that heavenly delight and... yeah. Ruined the entire chain for her. Just the mention of Starbucks makes her stomach roll. Ernie doesn't drink Starbucks around her and does his best to shield the very logo from her view.

Granny: Simple and surprising--a doppio of espresso macchiato. regular except for eight shots of espresso instead of the standard two. She's in her 80s and surrounded by young folks, okay? How else do you expect her to keep up with them all?

Josie: Doesn't do Starbucks either. She thinks it's overrated and too trendy, and will go out of her way to find small, independent establishments to patronize. She enjoys hazelnut lattes with a little touch of cinnamon and mocha sauce. Will always ask the barista to make the most unique design they can with the cream and asks if she can watch.

Mickey: Just like his love, he doesn't do Starbucks. For one he could never afford it; for two, he tried some once and he didn't find it all that great. Certainly wasn't worth the hype everyone seemed to have about it. He chooses to support the independent coffee houses as well, often taking Josie out on dates to them. He likes the cowboy coffee with only a little milk; he enjoys the rusticness and simplicity of it. Josie isn't a fan of the flavor but she loves the smell of it on Mickey's breath afterward and she doesn't mind the taste coming off his tongue and lips when he kisses her either.

Jules: He can't drink coffee as it makes him sick, but he enjoys the iced teas. His favorite is a blended grande black tea lemonade with some apple juice and strawberries. And definitely extra ice. Always extra ice. In the winter, he gets a regular caramel apple spice. Note: Often gets his name spelled as "Jewels". Once he had an older barista that was a big fan of Jules Verne though, and he got that written on his cup--that was fun.

Martha: The chocolate java mint frap, tall, with coconut milk, double-blended with frap chips, hazelnut syrup, two extra pumps of the mint sauce, mocha sauce lining, toasted cookie crumble, light cinnamon powder, and whipped cream--that's this girl's game. She only needs to have one once in a while, as it's so very rich. Note: Once got called "Martyr". So... that was different.

Kathy: Girl is a fiend for the espresso shots! That's what happens when you're studying to be an L&D nurse, I suppose. She gets a quad of the blonde roast loads it up on six shots and hammers it. But after she's had a couple of those, she'll get a short, dark chocolate mocha with heavy cream and honey to sip on. Note: Has been called "Catty" more than once. She does not appreciate it.

Millie: VENTI. PUMPKIN. SPICE. LATTES. With extra cream and cinnamon and caramel sauce lining. She lives for this stuff and literally has an emotional breakdown whenever it goes out of season. After that, she falls back on the vanilla bean crème frap, venti size, with almond milk, extra whipped cream, frap chips, macadamia syrup, caramel lining, white chocolate mint sauce, honey blend, cinnamon, mocha drizzle, and caramel crunch topping. And, ya know what? It's still nowhere near as good as the pumpkin spice. Why don't they just sell it all year?! It would be their number-one seller! They could just start a whole other Starbucks offshoot just for the pumpkin spice and rake in the money! Note: Absolutely tells the barista how to spell her name and double-checks to make sure they got it right.

Gil: Decaf roast, tall, black--plain, simple, easy. He likes the bitterness; reminds him of the earth and nature. If he's craving a little sweetness, he might add some honey. Note: Usually gets called "Dill". Does not complain--he gets his coffee either way. And he kinda like the name "Dill" actually.

Tim: He's not allowed to drink coffee, as he gets way too hyper. But he does like their frozen fruit drinks. The pineapple passion fruit is his favorite; he always gets extra pineapple in it. He gets the largest size and sticks it in the freezer whenever he's had enough to snack on for a few days. The stuff tastes even better when it's frozen enough to eat like ice cream! Note: Tim is so cute, most of the time the baristas don't even hear him say his name because they're so focused on his cherubic smile or sparkling blue eyes, so they just write "Angel boy" on the cup. Tim just blushes and beams.

Beryl: She doesn't like coffee, but she is also a serious businesswoman, and serious businesswomen drink coffee. Beryl gets the espresso con panna in the smallest size with extra whipped cream and three espresso shots. The whipped cream is the only way she can stand the taste of the stuff. Sometimes she needs a little mocha drizzle to get it down too, even while she's holding her nose and trying to swallow it down without letting it touch her tongue. Ebenezer has pointed out to her time and again that it's okay if she doesn't like coffee--she can drink something else if she wants to--but Beryl refuses. "Businesswomen drink coffee! It's a staple!" And no one is going to convince her otherwise. Note: Never gets her name spelled right, so she has taken to telling them at her name is "Bear". That always gets spelled right and she gets comments on how "cool her name is". Beryl might be considering changing her name to "Bear".

[goldlightwriting]

You know, the Ultimate Aliens in Ben 10 really are hit-or-miss, looking back. The base concept of them is supposed to be taking an alien species and running them through a simulation of like, 1000+ years of combat to see how a species could adapt for optimized efficiency in battle. It's not JUST predicting a species' evolution, but specifically how they could be best utilized for war. It shows the difference in mentality between Albedo and Azmuth; the latter made the Omnitrix as a tool to bring different races together, while the former only sees the potential for a weapon.

Some of the Ultimates are really cool. You've got Ultimate Humungosaur with his thicker armor and rocket launcher hands, or Ultimate Echo Echo with the sound discs that are more maneuverable than the base form's clones. On the flip side, you have Ultimate Cannonbolt that really doesn't do anything new or interesting beyond adding some spikes, or Ultimate Big Chill who shoots "fire so cold it burns," whatever the hell that's even supposed to mean.

I know that there's a sort of mentality popularized by O.R.Ash that Ultimates are supposed to get some kind of trade-off, as in losing a base form ability for the new powers, but I don't necessarily think that's true (and no disrespect to O.R.Ash, I legit like his redesigns.) Like I said: I think, first and foremost, the Ultimates should be optimized for combat, which could lean more into the dubious nature of the power and the mentality of treating these alien forms as nothing more than tool for battle.

Honestly, I kind of wish that more Ultimates leaned into that by incorporating mechanical aspects into the design, like Humungosaur and Echo Echo did. Rather than simply evolving the aliens, I think artificially augmenting them would fit more with the overall idea of what the writers were trying to go for. So, with that in mind...

Date: {Redacted} Log entry: #001 Entry by: {Redacted}

The Ultimatrix has long been a fascination of mine. The Omintrix was designed to bring unity across the cosmos by letting one organism experience life through the eyes of another (sometimes metaphorically.) However, many saw the potential of the Omnitrix as a weapon, particularly Azmuth's former assistant: Albedo.

He created an evolutionary function that was, in theory, meant to simulate the result of a species undergoing centuries of battle to the point of almost going extinct. How might the beings of the universe adapt to an age of near-constant warfare? An intriguing premise, to be sure. Certainly, some of the results were quite impressive; the sonorosian, vaxasaurian and methanosian DNA turned out particularly well.

However, the Ultimatrix is still, at the end of the day, merely a machine. A machine lacks imagination, and some of the 'evolutions' turned out to be little more than mildly above-average specimens of the species as they presently exist now. If the aim was to envision beings optimized for a lifetime of conflict, then some of the results seem laughably incomplete. This log will be exploring some of the more... Disappointing 'Ultimates,' as they are called, and potential enhancements that could be made to hone their natural abilities to suit their purpose.

Ultimate Big Chill

Necrofriggians are perhaps most well-known for their ability to produce frigid mist from their mouths, which can rapidly cool anything it comes into contact with to below-freezing temperatures. Their secondary ability, which allows them to turn intangible, is quite useful for stealth. In a way, Necrofiggians can be considered naturally-born assassins, and this power can be further amplified for that role. I envision 'Ultimate Big Chill' to expel freezing mist not just from the mouth, but the hands as well, forming small constructs of ice; primarily, this is used to create frigid throwing daggers or blades for close-range combat, should the need arise. Additionally, this form can now turn its body entirely invisible as well as intangible, allowing for greater stealth capabilities. The Necrofriggian adapts to end combat before it even begins, teaching opponents the true meaning of 'cold as the gave.'

Ultimate Cannonbolt

The Arburian Pelarota is already quite naturally suited to combat scenarios. The species' thick shells can endure various forms of acid and even orbital entry. It's little wonder why Albedo's Ultimatrix saw little reason to augment the species further... But I believe one can always push the boundaries with a little imagination. As the Pelarota's greatest strength has always been a strong balance of offense and defense, why not take this even further? 'Ultimate Cannonbolt' is equipped with energy generators on the plates, which can be used to form protective barriers that protect the user even while in a bipedal state. These generators can also assist in rolling attacks, giving an additional 'oomph' by letting the user instantly rocket forward at extreme speeds. This Ultimate aims to be both an unstoppable force AND an immovable object all at once.

Ultimate Wild Mutt

Vulpimancers are naturally-skilled hunters, but the purpose of an Ultimate is to become a warrior. The original Ultimatrix might have been onto something with 'Ultimate Wild Mutt,' but again, not enough was added to make a beast truly suited to the battlefield. For starters, elongating the tail and enlarging the the spike would give this transformation a deadlier edge. Perhaps we could even replace the spike with some manner of drill attachment? The real enhancement, though, comes from the ability to deploy a pair of mini-turrets from the flanks. With the Vulpimancer's naturally-keen sense of smell, such an addition would make it a menace to enemies both up-close and at a distance. A true hound of war, this one...

For now, this is where I will conclude such thoughts. Ideally, we will never see a future where such evolutions come to pass... But should the day ever arise when the power of the Ultimatrix may again be needed, this will serve as a fine starting point. After-all, power is neither good nor evil. Like the Omnitrix itself, it may be used to destroy or protect...

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

OCs who have Refs... refs lol

And those who don't have refs I'll add a description of at least. Bad thing is that Tumble has an image limit :b

Nightshade Cookie

No ref. I don't have any real idea on what to make him look like other than he has black hair and dough color is on the darker side

Edit: Thanks to @blitztheatomicbomb for drawing Nightshade!

Salak Cookie

Void Cookie

No ref. Image a HUGE cookie that's completely black with purple accents, purple eyes that could even glow, and crystals sticking out his back

Coconut Pecan Cookie

No ref. In Cookie form, her dough is two different colors mixed. You can get a rough idea by looking up "Chimera Person." In Chimera form, each of her heads are made out of different things. The lion head is Coconut, with the husk looking similar to a mane because IDK if female chimeras would still have a mane :b, the goat head being pecan shelled, the dragon head being mainly just sugar cookie, and a jelly snake as a tail (The snakes that eat the jelly frogs in Grapefruit's trial)

Bugtrap “Pitcher Plant” Cookie/Dragon

Cookie form ref:

Dragon description: He looks like a Monstrous Nightmare from HTTYD, but more green and the spikes are red and his tail is a giant sundew

Soap Cookie and his pet Defensive Ducky

Frostbite Dragon

She's an ice dragon with spear-like scales. If I had to put a ref to it, the image used in this Fantasy Realm video. However their artist credit link goes to some website called wallpaperup? But searching the image I can somewhat-safely say it was drawn by somebody on Deviantart? I guess? IDK I don't have a DA account so *shrug* this is just a whole can of worms that I don't wanna get into.

Christmas Cactus Cookie

Atemoya Cookie

Before you judge it being freaking AI art, it was from Dall-e mini during that craze, and I really don't wanna get too deep into the controversy. If it's stealing the design from somebody, just tell me and I'll draw him properly.

The red splotch is a butterfly and he has one of the farming backpack... basket... thingies...

He also has Skelecake Roomates, two Jam Skelecake Warriors named Jammy and Dodger, a Choco Skelecake Warrior named Cupcake, and a Skelecake Cook named Burns. Jammy has thicker white lines on his horns.

Thimbleberry Cookie

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I literally had so much trouble thinking of design ideas for her that she almost never even made it. She's from House Raspberry, she has pink hair which is in a ponytail, she's a vampire via bitten so she has that little bite mark, and I really wanted to play up a joke about thimbles. Just.... ugh

G

You're just gonna have to ignore the crappy art style on G here he was one of my first cookie run OCs before I realized there's ways to draw that look better than MS Paint

Soive the Tree Sword

Credit to Jax for drawing Soive for me. Before we even settled on a name, no less. (I'm just assuming you don't want me to ping your main blog, Jax)

Muenster and Monster Cookie

The DANKS

Enchantberus

(also drawn by Jax but also his sister) (Edit, added a version with accessories :D)

Jade

(also drawn by Jax and his sister)

Pawpaw Cookie the Werefox

Faceless Fish Cookie the underwater "terror"(not really, but that's how others treat him)

Blue Raspberry

Jackfruit is the only one of the tribe that has a ref

but here's info on the rest of the tribe

[yuvaap]

Transform Your Weight Loss Journey: 12 Foods to Avoid and Healthier Alternatives

Are you putting in the effort to eat right and exercise, yet the scale just won't budge? You’re not alone in feeling frustrated. Despite your best intentions, some seemingly harmless foods might be sabotaging your weight loss journey. It’s essential to recognize these foods and replace them with healthier options to achieve your weight loss goals more effectively.

Here, we’ll uncover 12 common foods that could be holding you back and suggest healthier alternatives that satisfy your cravings without derailing your progress. Ready to make smarter food choices? Let’s dive in!

1. Fruit Juices

Fruit juices often seem like a healthy choice, but most store-bought varieties are packed with added sugars and lack the fiber found in whole fruits. This can lead to increased calorie intake since juices don’t keep you feeling full.

Healthy Alternative: Eat whole fruits or make popsicles with fresh fruit pulp. Whole fruits are rich in fiber and essential nutrients that promote satiety and support weight loss.

2. Junk Food

Junk foods are delicious but are often high in sodium and unhealthy fats. They can raise cholesterol levels and harm heart health.

Healthy Alternative: Choose stir-fried vegetables, sprouts, or salted makhana (lotus seeds) for a nutritious and filling snack without the harmful effects of junk food.

3. Alcohol

Alcohol is full of empty calories and slows down your body's fat-burning process. Additionally, many alcoholic beverages come with sugary mixers, adding even more calories.

Healthy Alternative: Limit alcohol intake and opt for wine in moderation. Wine has fewer calories compared to most alcoholic drinks and can be enjoyed responsibly.

4. Ice Cream

Ice cream is a favorite treat, but it's loaded with sugar and calories, making it easy to overindulge and gain weight.

Healthy Alternative: Blend frozen fruits with Greek yogurt for a lower-calorie, healthier version of ice cream that still satisfies your sweet tooth.

5. Breakfast Cereals

Many breakfast cereals are processed and packed with sugar and artificial sweeteners, losing much of their nutritional value and contributing to weight gain.

Healthy Alternative: Start your day with oatmeal topped with fresh fruits, nuts, and seeds. This option is nutritious and keeps you full longer.

6. Candy and Chocolate Bars

These treats are high in sugar and unhealthy fats, offering empty calories with little to no nutritional value, which can contribute to weight gain and increase diabetes risk.

Healthy Alternative: Snack on nuts, seeds, or pure dark chocolate. These options are rich in nutrients and can satisfy your sweet cravings without the negative health impacts.

7. Refined Flour Products

Foods like white bread, pasta, and noodles made from refined flour have a high glycemic index and offer little nutritional value. They can spike blood sugar levels and cause health issues when consumed in large amounts.

Healthy Alternative: Choose whole wheat or semolina flour products. These options are higher in fiber and nutrients, supporting better blood sugar control and overall health.

8. Frozen and Processed Meat

Processed meats like bacon and ham are low in nutrients and high in sodium, which can negatively impact your weight and overall health. They often contain preservatives and additives that are harmful in large quantities.

Healthy Alternative: Opt for a balanced vegetarian diet rich in nutrients to support weight loss. Fresh vegetables, legumes, and plant-based proteins provide essential vitamins and minerals without the downsides of processed meats.

9. Sugary Caffeinated Drinks

Drinks like mocha, latte, and Frappuccino are often high in calories due to added sugars and creams, contributing to weight gain.

Healthy Alternative: Drink plain black coffee to boost metabolism and aid fat burning. If you need a bit of sweetness, consider adding a small amount of natural sweetener like stevia or a dash of cinnamon.

10. Baked Goods

Pastries, cakes, and cookies are high in sugar, trans fats, and refined flour. They are easy to overeat, leading to weight gain and other health problems such as diabetes and heart disease.

Healthy Alternative: Satisfy your sweet tooth with pure dark chocolate or fresh fruits. You can also try baking at home with healthier ingredients like whole wheat flour, oats, and natural sweeteners.

11. Salad Dressings

Many commercial salad dressings are high in fat and sodium, which can negate the health benefits of salads.

Healthy Alternative: Make your own dressing with hung curd or lemon juice and avoid excessive cheese. Adding herbs and spices can enhance the flavor without adding unnecessary calories.

12. Flavored Yogurt

Although Greek yogurt is nutritious, flavored yogurts often contain added sugars that can hinder weight loss.

Healthy Alternative: Switch to plain Greek yogurt or try vegan options like soy or coconut yogurt. Add fresh fruits or a small amount of honey for sweetness without the added sugars found in flavored varieties.

Transforming your diet by avoiding these foods and choosing healthier alternatives can significantly enhance your weight loss journey. For more detailed tips and expert advice on making smarter food choices, visit Yuvaap's comprehensive blog post. At Yuvaap, we offer a wealth of resources and support to help you achieve your wellness goals.

[howandreviews]

Foods to Say No to After 50

Buckle up and brace yourselves, because we’re about to dive into the world of the “Fabulously Fifty and Beyond” Let’s face it, just like maintaining a vintage car, good health requires a bit of, shall we say, maintenance. Sure, we’d all love to eat ice cream for breakfast, but is it really the best way to start the day? (spoiler: it’s not). So, here is our list of the top 12 foods you should say a resounding ‘No’ to after 50. Let’s get rolling!

Sugary Drinks and Fruit Juice

While younger adults might gulp down these sugar-sweetened beverages without batting an eye, they can be harmful for older people. They are a major source of empty calories and can lead to weight gain, increased blood sugar levels, and a higher risk of chronic disease. Stick to water and herbal tea.

Fast Food

French fries, hot dogs, and the lot are high in sodium and can lead to high blood pressure, which the American Heart Association has linked to an increased risk of heart disease. The good news is, opting for healthier options like baked sweet potatoes can help maintain a healthy weight and better health overall.

White Bread and Breakfast Cereals

Sure, they’re easy and convenient, but these foods often have little nutritional value. Replace them with whole grain foods like brown rice or oatmeal to ensure you’re getting enough fiber and maintaining stable blood sugar levels.

Deli Meats

They might make for a quick lunch, but deli meats are often packed with a lot of sodium and artificial sweeteners. The National Institute of Aging recommends lean proteins like chicken or fish instead.

Ultra-Processed Foods

Think potato chips and store-bought cookies. These are often high in added sugar and unhealthy fats, not to mention low in nutritional needs necessary for older adults. The Mediterranean diet, rich in whole grains, healthy fats, and lean protein, is a better option.

Ice Cream

Oh, the beloved frozen treat. It might be a delightful indulgence, but it’s high in calories and can lead to weight gain. Opt for Greek yogurt with fresh fruit for a healthier treat that’s also a good source of protein and calcium.

Soft Drinks

Like sugary drinks, soft drinks can spike your blood sugar levels and contribute to weight gain. They’re not a good idea if you’re trying to maintain a healthy diet.

Red Meat

While it’s a good source of protein, red meat can also be high in saturated fats, which can increase the risk of heart disease. Opt for fatty fish like salmon that are rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids instead.

Artificial Sweeteners

They might seem like a good substitute for sugar, but a recent study has linked artificial sweeteners to health issues such as metabolic syndrome. Consider natural sweeteners like honey or maple syrup instead.

Dairy Products

For older adults, particularly older women, maintaining bone health is crucial. But some dairy products can cause water retention and bloating. Choose nutrient-dense foods like leafy greens and fortified dairy substitutes that are high in Vitamin D and calcium.

Excessive Protein

While good sources of protein are essential for maintaining muscle mass and strength, too much protein can strain the kidneys. The Mayo Clinic recommends a balanced diet with a variety of foods including whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

Egg Yolks

While they’re high in B vitamins and amino acids, egg yolks are also high in cholesterol, which might be concerning for those with heart conditions. Consider egg whites or other lean protein sources.

Bottom Line

The key to healthy aging isn’t about completely eliminating these foods, but making small changes to our dietary patterns for better health. The good news is, maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be as simple as swapping white bread for whole grains, or fast food for homemade meals. Remember, it’s never too late to embrace a healthier diet and enjoy the golden years of life in good health. So, keep that physical activity up, make those smart food choices, and here’s to being fabulous over 50!

[gh-0-stcup]

You're completely right about your interpretation of the show changing depending on your age. I was a young teen the first time I watched it and my perspective on Bangel and Buffy's season 6 arc have been the biggest changes.

Watching their relationship unfold is deeply uncomfortable to me now and I struggle to see any part of it as romantic. It's easy to think of Buffy as more mature than other teens, but when it comes to relationships she's really no different than other girls her age.

Dawn kind of helps hammer in how messed up the situation was. We're guided to see Buffy as more mature because she's the hero, but give Dawn super strength, a stake, and a crisis? She would be no different than Buffy was in season 1.

When Dawn writes in diary about how Xander makes her feel like a woman, when she looks at him all dazed while eating her ice cream, it's silly and cute. It's a little girl with a crush on an adult man who's nice to her but has no desire to cross that line.

And, as shown by that gross episode in season 7, Xander does find Dawn attractive. Until he realizes she's his best friend's underage sister. She's Dawn, the idea that he would fall deeply in love with her or want to have sex with her is disturbing - as it should be.

Buffy also once wrote in a diary about her crush on an older man that treated her like she was a woman. She got fluttery about wearing his jacket, scribbled their names together with hearts, and wanted him to take her to the prom. The difference isn't her maturity level. It's that this older man didn't feel the need to set boundaries with her. He wasn't disturbed by her age - if anything, he was drawn in by it.

Spike and Dawn is another very good way to shine some perspective on this. A cool, sexy, leather clad vampire with a dark past who was guided to the good side by forces outside his control. Like her sister, Dawn is intrigued and excited to spend time with him. She's happy that he speaks to her with respect, that he takes her emotions seriously, and doesn't treat her like she's younger than she is.

Like Angel, Spike had the urge to protect Dawn from very early on. And Spike likes that Dawn sees him as more than just an evil thing. But the role he takes in her life is that of an older brother or father figure. He'll comfort her when she's sad, tell her stories or play games with her when she's lonely, and fight to keep her safe.

This is the relationship Angel should have had with Buffy. I like that the show took the opportunity to add these parallels in. I also appreciate that it showed their relationship caused a lot of long term issues for Buffy. It damaged the way she sees herself, damaged the way she views relationships, and overall added very little that was positive to her life.

The show upholds the tragic romance vibe a good bit, but given the times in which it was written it's honestly surprising there was any genuine critique of the older man/teen girl dynamic to be found.

I agree they did a good job with Angel on his own show. Definitely a much more interesting character. Male focused shows definitely tend to have sexism problems, but I will say ATS is among the worst that I've seen in terms of how it treats its female characters.

The Spike thing is very relatable. Season 5 was actually the first season I watched because the only thing I wanted to see was his return. I was not a fan of what they did with his character, but that season still has some of my fav moments in either shows.

A few things behind the scenes things I think are important to know. Resurrecting Spike was something the network forced the writers to do in order to be renewed, because Angel's ratings were flagging and Spike was a very popular character.

The plans the writers created for Spike were mussed up by scheduling conflicts with a certain blonde actress. Essentially they planned on Spike leaving fairly early in the season and were still trying to make it work out as the season progressed. So the reasoning behind why Spike sticks around is kinda flimsy and a bit out of character.

For a variety of reasons, it's not a very popular season among Spike fans. It doesn't come across to me as a proper continuation of who he was by the end of season 7. It is a whole lot of fun though!

Speaking of Angel and the whole split-divide of his identity/personality. There is something said in Xena that I think is very relevant to the way Angel deals with his past and the insanely evil things he has done in it.

So in the episode ‘Who’s Gurkhan” a character called Eve who has lived a double life as Livia: The Bitch of Rome tells a story about how she once visited Gurkhan’s harem to sell women as slaves. As she’s telling the story, she doesn’t seem at all uncomfortable by it. She doesn’t recoil in disgust, she doesn’t fidget or try to avoid her emotions. She’s very calm and collected all the while telling the story of something really awful that she did in her past. And Gabrielle picks up on this and talks to Xena about it.

GABRIELLE: “Calm the way your daughter talks about her past.”

XENA: “She knows what I know. There’s nothing you can do to change the past. You can only work to make the future better.”

But you see… with the split-divide of identity/personality thing Angel has got going on with his evil alter ego Angelus… This doesn’t work. Not unless you think of Angel as Angelus disassociating from all his emotions for the sins of his past rather than embrace them. Remember, it’s Angelus cursed with a soul - a conscience. It’s not Angel cursed with a lack of conscience and impulse control. The evil person is what is cursed to become a good person. And Angel is the way for Angelus to do that. But if there’s no choice and no learning from it then there’s no point in it! The only way to think about it so the redemption story actually works is every time Angel talks about his actions as Angelus and specifically how calm and collected he is when doing so… he is narrating HIS actions. Not Angelus’. Not the actions of the demon that lives within him. HIM. His actions. And he has come to the same conclusion Xena and Eve have:

You can’t change what is done. Only what you do in working to make amends for what YOU have done. You can’t play identity/personality hot potato with it just because it suits the creative vision of the story. Especially when that story is showing you differently.

I hope… I HOPE… that this is what ‘Angel the Series’ is and not more rubbish about how he isn’t in control of his actions because that’s not the way Angel himself treats it. He treats everything Angelus has done as HIS FAULT. Not the fault of a demon. His fault as the individual HE is. Buffy and Co treat it very differently… “You’re not the demon.” Literally. They absolve the actions because they’re the actions of the demon - in which case Angelus has no reason to feel any guilt. Why would he? He is a villainous unremorseful demon separated from the tortured heroic remorseful Angel.

No, I’m sorry. But I can’t and I won’t do that with him. I will continue to “Angel/Angelus” the context. But I will not separate them based on their consciousness. I will treat it the same way I treat Willow/Dark Willow. Absolutely the same entity and the same individual. But dramatically changed in identity and personality. Angelus is not the person that he was anymore. He changed. But he is not separate and divided from Angelus indefinitely. I refuse to think of him that way because if I do, then his redemption story is pointless.

Angel/Angelus is either The Two Ships of Theseus or nothing. ‘Innocence’ is either rape or nothing. Angel narrating his past and feeling guilty about it and then when he loses his soul again is suddenly a homocidal maniac again is a split-personality disorder or nothing!

There is no damn demon in Angel. Angelus IS the evil doer and he has a forced nonconsensual growth spurt. This is Angel. This is what he represents. It might look like a possession, but it isn’t. And if that whole “the human dies and becomes possessed by a demon” shit carries on in Angel’s show… then it will be trashed immediately because you can’t tell a redemption story and absolve the person searching for redemption from their evil actions by claiming it’s just demonic possession at the exact same time they’re saying “I did this evil” and “This is MY fault”.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. I will simply treat it as the ‘BtVS’ Gang are very wrong and clearly misinformed on the true nature of the vampire - otherwise Spike, Druscilla, Harmony, Darla, Holden and literally every other significant vampire we spend any time with in ‘Buffy’ and ‘Angel’ are the massive inconsistency in the lore instead. You have evil vampires in Buffy - of course you do. But that’s because the vampire chooses to be evil. It’s not because they inherently are evil. It’s just a choice of which is easier to make because of a lack of conscience and impulse control. Angel doesn’t choose to be evil every time his soul goes missing. He becomes evil because it IS missing. THAT is the inconsistency in the lore. And if the writing in ‘Angel the Series’ treats it as if it isn’t… Then I’m done with watching it before I even start it because it insults my intelligence and the love that I have for Spike for choosing to do the most difficult thing of all. For choosing to do good when his nature is to do evil.

[five-rivers]

Beltane

Written for Ectober 2021 Day 1: Trick vs Treat. This is part of the Exhumed series.

.

Danny Fenton walked into the precinct. As often happened when he did this, all attention slowly turned to him. “Hi, Detective Patterson. Have you ever heard of Beltane?”

Patterson took a long swig of coffee through the plastic stir straw, because she felt the need to be at least a little drugged before dealing with whatever this was, and then said, “Is this the kind of thing the whole precinct needs to know about, or is it more specific to me?”

“Mm, not specific to you, but I’m not sure if everyone needs to know about it, yet.”

Despite only select members of the Amity Park police force knowing Danny Fenton had another identity, he’d become a sort of ‘ghost liaison’ for the precinct. Better him than the adult Fentons, who tended to break things even (especially) when they were being careful.

“Actually,” continued Danny, “you might have already noticed some things about it. I mean, it’s seasonal, and Mom and Dad were detecting ectoenergy and ghost activity spikes for events like this before they got the portal up and running. Although, the portal was supposed to stabilize and reduce those spikes… I guess reducing one isn’t bad?”

“Okay,” said Patterson. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about. Do you want me to go find Collins?”

“Oh, that might be a good idea.”

“Great,” said Patterson. She turned her head to shout across the room. “McGee. Go find Collins.”

“Still the new guy?” asked Danny, sympathetically.

“It isn’t like we’re a popular posting,” said Patterson, “and, thanks to the ghosts, we don’t really need new people.”

Danny nodded placidly. “I know. But it must be hard for him, don’t you think?”

.

McGee had done his job. He’d discovered the corruption in the Amity Park Police Department and plumbed its depths. The problem was that he could never, ever, report it. Even if they didn’t have a perfectly good cause for it all, what they were ‘hiding’ (and they were only barely doing that) was so ridiculous that McGee had thought he’d gone crazy at first.

Ghosts.

The whole of Amity Park was haunted. Just like it said in those touristy brochures at the front of the local diners.

He stuck his head into the break room. “Collins, Patterson and Fenton want you,” he said.

“In the normal room?” Collins asked, shoving a sugary monstrosity of a donut into his mouth.

“I have no idea. She didn’t say.”

“Normal room then. Great job, McGee.”

McGee rolled his eyes. Great job, he said. As if he’d done anything.

God. What would Halloween be like?

.

“So, it’s like, reverse Halloween?” asked Patterson.

“Well, not exactly,” said Danny. He patted Daisy, the department mascot slash corpse sniffing dog who had followed them into the small interview room, gently on the head. “Actually, there are more similarities than differences. Basically, like Halloween, we’re going to get a spike in ectoenergy. Maybe even some ectoplasmic storms. More portals. That kind of thing.” He shrugged. “Most holidays and seasonal divisions have them, you know.”

“So… we’re getting Halloween round two?” asked Collins.

“What do you bet that this is what gets McGee to snap?”

“He’s been here since December,” said Collins. “I think he’s too stubborn to leave.”

“Is he still spying?” asked Danny.

“No,” said Patterson, waving a hand. “He gave up on that, after a while. But there’s a new office bet about whether or not he’ll stay stay, or if he’ll decide to quit. We’re not allowed to join in because we know him too well.”

“Mm,” said Danny.

“I don’t actually know if I feel like I know him that well,” said Collins.

“Well,” said Danny, “it shouldn’t be as extreme as Halloween. Since, I mean, there aren’t as many religious holidays directly associated with death and stuff happening on or around May first. So. Yeah. But the thing is, there are some traditional, er, activities. Spirited activities.”

Collins suppressed a groan, and was glad that Captain Jones wasn’t available today. He and Danny could sling puns at each other for obscenely long periods of time.

“I’ve never noticed ghosts doing anything on May Day,” said Patterson.

“This is only the third year anyone’s even acknowledged that ghosts exist,” said Danny, “so I’m not really all that surprised. But the reason that I came to talk to you guys is that some of the ghosts want to do Beltane stuff. Like the fire blessings. Also, I’ve been told that some of the trees in town are secretly ghost trees, and if we don’t want to deal with another tree army, we need to do some stuff to appease them.”

“Secret ghost trees.”

“My source is very reliable,” said Danny. “Also, while I say ‘we don’t want to deal with it,’ I think we all know who’d be dealing with most of it.”

“You would,” said Patterson.

“Got it in one. Like, I can convince most of the ghosts to either do their Beltane stuff in the Ghost Zone, or somewhere out of the way. They’ll be disappointed, but I can do it. The ghost tree thing, though…”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know,” said Collins, “get rid of the ghost trees?”

“Well, they aren’t really evil ghost trees. Or even really ghost trees. They’re more… ghosts that live in trees?”

“What, like dryads?” asked Collins, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s what I said, but they’re different species, apparently.”

“Okay,” said Patterson, “so. Appeasing the trees. How many trees are we talking about here, and how are we going to appease them?”

.

“Okay, so, this is definitely a whole precinct kind of thing,” said Patterson.

“And possibly an ‘all civil servants’ type of thing,” added Collins. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where are we going to get the funding for this?”

“Oh, don’t worry about money,” said Danny. “I’ll just blackmail Vlad, and if that doesn’t work, I can get Mom and Dad to pay for it.”

“What,” said Collins.

“I think this might be a bit beyond your parents’ budget,” said Patterson, “but knock yourself out as far as Masters goes.”

“Well, I guess if it is,” he allowed, dubiously, “I could get the cults to pitch in?”

.

“This is nice,” said Danny. The sky was a bit overcast, which was a shame, but the hundreds of bright flowers and cheerful music more than made up for that.

The May Day celebration was, in Danny’s opinion, a success. At least, this half of it was turning out to be. He’d have to wait and see how the Spirit Bonfires went tonight before he could really make a judgement.

He’d only had to blackmail Vlad a little, too. It turned out that the ‘ruthless businessman’ in Vlad was ludicrously easy to manipulate, and once Danny brought up how a celebration like this one could revitalize local businesses and bring in tourism, he’d caved.

Although, that might have been the threat of an angry tree army. Vlad had definitely come off worse for wear in the last one, on all fronts.

Then, publically putting the Phantom Stamp of Approval (and Necessity Given The Potential Angry Tree Army) on the event had gotten buy-in from his fans and (sigh) the cults. The cults were, in fact, very enthusiastic about their new Holy Day. Danny had made a map of all the places they’d set up booths, and was studiously avoiding them.

Sam and Tucker were doing a walkthrough of that area, now, to check for problems and unadorned thorn trees. They’d arranged to meet up soon.

So, Amity Park was decked out in ribbons and flowers. All of the schools had gotten Maypoles and the day off of classes. Several bands, both human and ghostly, were playing in different parts of town.

It was chaotic, but great.

Danny briefly cut into the street to dodge a pair of college-age men play-fighting with tree branches (a genuinely important tradition symbolizing the battle between winter and summer), then walked through a wall to avoid two ghosts doing the same thing.

Finally, he reached Madame Babazita’s table.

“Hi,” he said, “three readings, please.”

“Three?” she asked. “Just for you?”

“My friends should get here before mine’s done,” said Danny. Was he channeling some predictive powers? Maybe. Holidays did make his powers weird.

.

“I have no idea what your reading is saying,” said Madame Babazita, after fifteen full minutes. “The cards simply aren’t speaking to me today. Also,” she held up an Uno card, “I’m not sure how this even got here.”

“That’s okay,” said Danny, “I just wanted to make sure it was the same as last time.”

.

“Hey! Phantom!” called Ember across the crowd of ghosts that had gathered in the cemetery. Most of them were fire or nature themed. “You’re in for a treat!”

Danny, who had been examining the flowers left on his grave, looked up. “I am?”

Ember draped her arm around Danny’s shoulder. She’d been a lot more friendly with him since the corpse incident. “Sure are.” She stepped up onto the surface of his memorial, pulling him up behind her. Danny shook off a brief chill and looked around.

Ghosts were streaming into the cemetery from various directions, bringing armfuls of flowers with them. Danny could see two, huge bonfire piles of flowers growing near the cemetery gates.

“Are there going to be cows?” asked Danny, who was still fuzzy on the details of the ghostly side of the celebrations.

“I don’t know,” said Ember. “When I’ve seen this done in the GZ there are. Here? Who knows. Maybe we’ll just walk through.”

Danny nodded, unworried. Beltane sure was an interesting holiday.

The last armful of flowers was placed, and every flower in the cemetery caught on fire at once. Including the ones on Danny’s grave. Danny yelped, jumping into flight. As an ice core ghost, he vastly preferred cold to heat.

This went without saying, but fire was very hot.

Ember grabbed his foot, and he almost kicked her. “You knew that was going to happen,” he accused.

“Sure did, babypop,” said Ember, grinning. “Come on, don’t you want to pass through the bonfires?”

Danny eyed the very large bonfires on either side of the cemetery gates. They were lit up with sparks like fireworks, shifting like flowers blooming and withering and blooming again. They were beautiful and impressive, and Danny felt like melting just by looking at them.

“I don’t know…” He wanted to, but… melting…

“Well, if you want to go out the other way and be horribly unlucky for the next year…”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “Is that another trick?” he asked.

Ember’s grin grew wider, and she took off towards the gates. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Danny sighed and followed her.

.

“Unbelievable,” said McGee. “Absolutely unbelievable.” He gave the elderly cultist a boost into the wagon.

“I know, right?” said Patterson. “All this property damage and a low-key kidnapping,” she gestured to the hapless late night partier who had called the police when the cult got too insistent about their message, “and they didn’t even have the good drugs?” She shook her head. “Not that we ever arrest anyone just for drugs in this town.”

“I did not just hear you say that,” muttered McGee.

“We’ll make an Amity Parker out of you yet,” said Collins, heartily, slamming the back door of the wagon. He thumbed the button on his radio. “Any other disturbances?” he asked.

“No, you’re good to come back,” said the dispatcher.

“What I don’t get,” said McGee, leaning against a nearby wall in a moment of weakness, “is why we aren’t breaking up whatever cult thing is happening in the cemetery.” They’d seen it quite clearly on their way here.

“Because those are ghosts,” said Patterson.

McGee took a deep breath. “The ghosts are having some kind of ritual in the cemetery, and you aren’t worried.”

“Not really, no.”

“I hate it here,” said McGee.

“Do you, though?” asked Collins, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.

McGee opened his mouth to snap back that, yes, he did. But…

Hm. Huh.

Collins patted him on the back.

[prettynxsty]

Just a Pinch

Sub!Jungkook x Domme!Reader

Warnings:  Sweat, nipple clamps, gratuitous nipple play, jungkook has a pussy, biting, sweat, small top/big bottom, futa/girlcock, sadists will get a good kick out of this, squirting, crying from pleasure

Summary: Instead of the overplayed “sub wears vibrator out in public”, it’s the sub wears nipple clamps while working out.

AN: This is a nasty one as usual my friends, enjoy. It’s damn near pwp, honestly.

Your teeth ground into your bottom lip, flicking your thumb back and forth as quickly as possible even though your knuckle was beginning to cramp. You take in a deep breath and your chest puffs up before slowly deflating with a sharp sigh.

“Fuck, yes.” You growled slamming your fist against the bed at your side.

Jungkook’s eyes rolled back with a groan from deep in his gut. “Oh my god, please.”

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuckmefuckmefuckme!” His voice rose into a squeal as his head dips forward.

A deeper growl rumbles in your chest before cutting short with a whoop of excitement. You threw the controller down beside where you were sitting, jumping off of the bed and onto your feet. “Yes! Now you need to make good on your end of the bargain baby!”

He covers his face with his hands, sighing before falling into a small fit of nervous giggled. “You can’t be serious babe.”

“Of course I am, it won’t be for that long anyway, you’ll be okay.” You tittered lightly, practically skipping toward your closet. “Go ahead and get ready, the faster you do it, the faster it’ll be over.

”He scratches the back of his neck, planting his feet on the floor and slinking toward the dresser across the room.

He peels his shirt up and over his head before balling it up and tossing it toward the hamper in the corner. He glances at his reflection in the mirror, running a hand over his pecs and down the planes of his rippling stomach. His fingers slip over his adonis belt, wiggling just slightly under the waistband of his black sweatpants.

He takes in a quick sigh, clenching around nothing. A spike of heat bursts and spreads in his stomach, he wondered if he should have been turned on before anything happened. He steps back from the dresser, hooking his fingers under the garment and works it down the swell of his thighs until it falls and piles up around his ankles.

He wiggles a socked foot out of the first leg hole and steps on it to free the other. This too sails through the air and lands in the hamper with a soft thump. He takes another glance at himself in the mirror.

He was a lovely shade of coffee with a few splashes of milk. He kissed his tan lines goodbye since your regularly scheduled maintenance days with him. In your days of boredom, you took it upon yourself to buy a nice waxing pot and clean his cunt of hair in places he had to (literally) bend over backwards to reach.

He thought you were going to do it somewhere like the bedroom or bathroom, but you figured that you may as well get good use of the rooftop. His pussy is easily nestled in between his tanned thighs, brown outer lips just barely hiding his sweet inner pink.

He hated that you refused to touch him until the next day, he could feel everything when you were done. Now that same time of the month was his favorite time for grooming.

Jungkook blinks, shaking himself from the vivid thought and pulls open the drawer. His underwear was neatly rolled up beside yours. He decides on a simple gray high cut thong, stretching it, stepping into it and slipping it up to his hips.

Normally he preferred to wear nothing, but he needed an extra barrier of protection for today. He pushes the drawer closed and pulls open the ones on the right and left of it. Simply, he grabs a sleeveless tee and pair of shorts. He dresses himself quickly and parks himself on the edge of the bed.

You return from the closet with a giddy smile, swinging something shiny around your fingers. Nipple clamps.

“Don’t look so happy to torture me,” he pouts.

“That’s your favorite part of it though, Junggoo~.” You made your way around the end of the bed and sat on his knees.

You reach up and cradle his cheeks, kissing him. The tension melts from his shoulders with the first and hang comfortably over his frame with the second.

“Now let’s see what’s under the hood,” your joke sails straight over his head and out of the window. He shakes his head, placing his hands on your thighs. You lift the bottom of his shirt and twist it under the collar, placing your hands over his chest.

Your fingertips trace over the swell of his taut mounds, goosebumps raise over his skin as you near his nipples. You hovered the tips of your thumbs over his nipples, admiring the rich rosy brown of his little areolas.

A moan rises in his throat, swallowed away noisily. Heat rises and exchanges between your bodies, you shift in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure on your dick. His fingers curl around your thighs pulling you even closer to him. Your dick fit snugly against his lower belly and it was starting to drive you crazy.

He leans forward, slipping his head over the juncture of your shoulder and neck. His slow breaths crawl up your skin in a way that tempts you to shiver. Jungkook was familiar with the shadow inside of you, he knew how to make it burn. His lips press over the swell of your shoulder, sending shocks zipping through your body. You should’ve known better than to wear that tank top today.

You graze your thumbs over the hardened tips of his nipples. He moans against your skin, you played with them so much that he felt like he could feel each ridge in your prints. He seals his lips around the base of your neck, gently suckling and grinding his tongue against your skin. You pinch his nipples in between the length of your index fingers and thumbs harshly, tugging.

He jerks slightly, his teeth sinking into your flesh. You hiss, arching your back before releasing his nipples and pushing against his chest. Jungkook pulls back with a whine, eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?”

You could hardly hide the fact that you were already breathless. “No, you aren’t going to weasel your way out of this one baby boy.”

The darker side of your mind was pleading for you to give in and make a mess of the bed sheets. But you knew that it’d make things filthier if you put him up to this.

You press a kiss to his pouting mouth, pulling back before he could deepen it. His brow knits together, he was already horny. He may as well make sure he didn’t get too far ahead of himself, it’d be harder to work out if he got wetter than he was now.

You slip the short chain from your knuckles, pinching open the first clamp. He seemed to be holding his breath as you pressed the chilly metal to his flesh before slowly releasing it. Jungkook throws his head back, gasping and biting down on his bottom lip. It was like a thick cloud rose and surrounded his brain, it was getting harder and harder to figure out what he was thinking.

You drag your tongue over your bottom lip with a dry swallow, you could already imagine the feeling of his pussy flexing around you. You lift the other end, the fire in your belly consumes you further when he twitches at the slightest shift of the first clip. You gently pinch the other clamp open and close it around his other nipple. He responds immediately with a drawn out breathy moan that makes your head spin.

You reach up slowly, unravelling his shirt from his collar and allow it to fall over his midsection. He looks down at you with these dark, cloudy eyes. “Can’t.. Can’t we..” He babbles as if the wind was knocked out of him.

“Come on, I’ll- I’ll go fill up your water bottle.” You tried to shake the slurring from your voice, planting your hand on the mattress and wiggling out of his grip.

The cold air of the hallway hits you like a freight train, bringing more cognizance to your mind. The heaviness between your legs was making you crazy, you hadn’t a clue how either of you would workout in this state.

You cross the way into your kitchen, it looked like the floor was blending into the walls. Grabbing your water bottles off of the drying rack, you fill them to the brim with ice and water.

Eventually Jungkook shuffles out of your bedroom with a dizzy, distant air in his eyes. He was red from his cheeks to his ears, and the sides of his neck. It was like he was wasted already, he seemed to be moving slowly to reduce the friction of the shirt over his nipples. The chain sat just right, as it didn’t really jingle as he walked.

He must’ve struggled to slip on the backpack, stopping beside you. You’d make it a little easier on him, choosing to carry your drinks instead of adding more weight to the bag on his back.

“Let’s go, we’ll be home the faster we go.”

He nods slowly, heading toward the door.

_

During your short walk around the corner to the gym, he spoke up suddenly. “I won’t have to do everything, will I?”

“Everything but squats, the bench, and deadlifts, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He huffs, looking down at you like a kicked puppy. You didn’t miss how his eyes gained a glassy tinge.

“I’ll do everything you want me to when we get home, my pretty boy.” You muttered low enough for him to hear, pushing open the door with your shoulder.

_

“How are you doing, baby?” You coo into his ear, wrapping your arms around his waist. Not a soul wandered the locker room aside the dust and water droplets where they weren’t supposed to be.

“I’ll give you a treat,” you whispered. Your work your hand under his shorts, pushing your fingers past his thong easily. He makes a soft, pretty noise when you cup his pussy.

He leans his weight back against you, jerking with a grunt when your thumb grazes over the sticky hood of his clit and passes over his blood swollen love button.

“Just want you to fuck me,” he whines, trying to squirm away from your rough thumb. It was too much for him, he could cum right now.

“Too much?” You ask gently, receiving a nod in response. You knew better than to let up now, pinching his hood and jerking the little pink sleeve. He made a noise like he was punched in the gut, hands clutching your forearms. His hands were shaking, but he was too desperate to push them away.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cu- unh!” He pants, thrashing his head against your shoulder as you pinch it. You take a deep breath in, retracting your hand and licking your fingertips.

He slumps back against you with a disappointed groan, struggling to catch his breath.

“Let’s go, I need to reward you.” Your voice was dark, moving to take the backpack out of the locker. You helped him ease it onto his shoulders and dragged him out of the locker room. You were given a few funny looks, but you hardly noticed them through the haze settling around your mind.

_

He all but wobbled his way to the bedroom by himself, leaving a trail of things behind him. Jungkook absolutely needed out of everything on his body at that moment. You followed him into the bedroom, watching from the doorway as he clumsily peeled off his sopping wet panties and nearly fell during the process.

“Take them off,” his voice breaks with a shiver crawling up his waist and shaking his shoulders. He makes a pitiful noise, squeezing his thighs together as he clumsily sits on the end of the bed. The thin chain lightly sways with the motion of his poor attempts to control his breath.

You wondered if you should try this more often, he never broke this quickly. You move across the room to sit on his knees as you had before. It felt like Jungkook’s skin was on fire, the slightest sensation made his hair stand up even straighter. His nails clumsily scratch at your skin, shoving his hands over the waistband of your shorts.

He couldn’t be bothered to fumble with anything, whining with a sob as the mesh of your clothing brushes over his thighs. “Off, off please!” He fusses in a strained voice.

You rose as quickly as you began to lower yourself, he was enveloping you in the same haze as before. Your lower belly spasms with a particularly aggressive twitch of your cock.

”Shit,” you growl under your breath. You yank away your shorts and nearly deflate with relief when your dick springs to full attention. Your sanity dissolved into ash bit by bit from feeling your glans scrubbing against the waistband when you moved around.

Jungkook clutches handfuls of the sheets under him, he couldn’t touch himself if he wanted. He’d scream because it was too much. His bottom lip trembled. It looked like he was practically flushed from head to toe, a heavy tear escaping the barrier of his thick lower lashes. It splatters over his collarbone, it’d evaporate if his body was any warmer.

You yank your shirt over your head and kick it aside with your other clothes, rushing toward him. You began to lower yourself to your knees, stabilizing yourself with hands on his trembling thighs.

He made another high pitched noise to fuss at you, he was so far gone that he just couldn’t control himself. Jungkook leans forward, wrapping his hands around your hips before lifting you onto his lap. You make a noise of exclamation, placing your hands on his shoulders in a weak attempt to register what just happened.

He pushes his chest toward you, sniffling. Another tear slips from the corner of his eye,  dancing over his cheekbone before slipping under his jaw.

“Baby,” you croon and stroke his hair. You gently curl a fingertip under the chain, lifting it slowly. This squeezes a few squeaks out of him, swelling into a squeal when you tug slightly.

You gently place your fingertips on the first clamp, squeezing it open and pulling it away from his stress. Jungkook’s forehead drops against your shoulder in relief, pressing weak kisses of gratitude over your breasts.

He grips your cock with both hands, slowly jerking your flesh up and down. You groan, resting one of your hands in the center of his pecs as you blindly feel around for the second clamp. Your fingertips cascade over his flushed bud, causing him to seize up. His grip tightens in a way that raises the gentle drip of your precum into a syrupy faucet.

You were likely already starting to drip over his fingers. His grip slowly relaxes, regaining his steady pattern. You press the tip of your thumb and index finger over the ends of the clamp, pinching it open and allowing the chain to drop between you.

You stroke your fingers over the back of his neck. “Let me see them,” you whisper with warmth and conviction. That tone of voice always sends his head into a spiral, he seemed to struggle to lift his head.

He shakily circles his thumb around your tip, spreading your precum all over his finger. You seize up, growling through clenched teeth. Jungkook quickly returns to stroking you firmly, he couldn’t stand the thought of you being unable to touch him.

You lean forward gingerly, dragging the tip of your nose through the cleft of his pecs. You tongue lolls out of your mouth, carefully resting on the edge of his areola before flicking upward.

He almost jerks away, sighing sharply. It was like you held the metal of a used lighter to his skin. It was enough to wipe what little thought remained in his head in a flash.

You tilt your head toward the other, slowly swirling the tip of your tongue toward the center of his nipple. He trembles below you, utilizing what strength remained to stay still.

“Want you to fuck me,” he croaks.

You glance up at him with a smile, nodding to oblige.

You plant a hand, carefully shifting yourself off of him and further onto the mattress. “Get on the middle of the bed, knees.

”He took his time to move, slowly twisting and crawling on. You reach to the left, yanking open the nightstand drawer with a flick of your wrist. You rip open the tube of lube, nearly breaking the loose plastic hinge of the cap. You squeeze a fat globule at the base of your cock, smearing the excess over the side of your lower belly before snapping it shut and shoving it back away.

You nearly forget to shut the drawer, pushing it closed with your ankle before crawling toward him. “Turn around.”

He plants his hands and crawls until he’s facing away from you, leaning back on his haunches.

Your dick prods the cleft of his ass as you seat yourself behind him, swiping your fingers through the thick, clear jelly. You do a messy job of lathering yourself up, leaning forward and slipping your dick under him.

You spread your index and middle fingers, smearing some of the lube over his pussy lips. He opened up like a pretty little flower, his cunt was already lush and puffy.

You drag the crook of your finger over his clit hood, coaxing a soft keen out of him. You press your fingers together, slipping them over his inner pink and press them into his hole. This time it was your turn to moan, his pussy swallowed your fingertips with ease.

He arches his back, molding against you with a whine. God, it felt so good but he wanted more. More than that. His inner velvet flutters around your fingers in a way that makes your toes curl already.

You work them in and out for a few strokes before you couldn’t stand it any longer. You wrap your hand around your cock, momentarily lowering yourself to press against his pussy. He slumps heavily against you with a coo when your cock begins to spread him open.

“Ooh,” you hiss, steadying yourself by moving your other hand to his stomach. Reaching the hilt, you shift your grip to clasp both of his forearms as leverage. The first thrust makes a filthy noise, excess lube squishing around your length.

To this, you lose yourself in him. You piston your hips forward, using him like the warm, wet hole he is. You fuck into him with reckless abandon. His voice is high, shaking with breathy and noisy squeals.

He does his best to refrain from squirming in your hold, thighs twitching with the urge to close. The room before him was a blur of shapeless splashes of color, it amazed him how you could get even deeper when he was on his back. Jungkook felt ridiculously full, his head dropping forward, babbling slurred expletives.

Your thighs burn, you knew he came by the way he started to flutter and squeeze around you. You could feel it barreling toward you, wrapping one of your arms over his hips to keep him steady.

You shift a hand, flicking your finger over his swollen nipple. His voice reaches a new pitch, thrashing his head around in a futile attempt to remain on this plane of existence.

“No! Gonna-” he tried to squeal, digging deep half moons into his thighs. You set your teeth tightly, your balls slap against his skin as you ground deeper. It felt like he was going to wring you dry.

You lean back for him to slump his weight against you fully and attack his other nipple with a harsh pinch. His shout catches in his throat, his head thumping against the thick of your shoulder.

Your control is carried away by the wind, the noise you make is ungodly when you cum. You couldn’t lose steam, his cum cakes up with yours as you plunge in. It felt like your sanity was melting out of your ears.

You roll the tips between your fingers, scrubbing them back and forth with your middle fingers. Something inside him broke, his jaw snapping shut as he began to shake uncontrollably.“Gnh, ah!” He grits out, his squirt splashing around your cock and splattering over the sheets.

Oh. Oh. You slow your thrusts with a breathless chuckle before allowing your softening cock to slip out of him with a wet plop. You’re met with a noisy sniffling, stroking your hands over his trembling stomach.

You shift your weight onto one knee and lay down behind him. “Shhh, shhh..” You continue to stroke your hand over his belly as the shocks become weaker and weaker.

The tension in his body takes a few minutes to melt away before he can fully sink into the mattress, timidly scooting back for you to fully spoon him.

“You okay?”

“Mhm.”

You hadn’t made a mess like that in a while, but you supposed he might have needed it as much as you. You’d soak in the bath later with him.

[toadstoolgardens]

20 Edible and Medicinal Plants & Fungi to Forage in Spring

1. Dandelion: The quintessential spring foraging plant, with edible and medicinal flowers, leaves, and roots. Make dandelion salve from the flowers, pesto or a salad with the leaves, and dandelion root coffee with the roots. 50+ Dandelion Recipes: https://www.growforagecookferment.com/dandelion-recipes/

2. Chickweed: A tasty edible green that dies back once the weather gets too warm, so pick it while you can! It's great in salads or pesto, and medicinally is soothing and cooling to the skin thanks to it's saponins.

3. Miner's Lettuce: A delicious salad green that grows wild in the western United States.

4. Wild Violet: Both flowers and leaves are edible and medicinal! They're often one of the first flowers in spring and make a delicious violet jelly or syrup or can be made into soothing wild violet soap or violet leaf balm. Violet Leaf Balm Recipe: https://thenerdyfarmwife.com/violet-leaf-balm-good-for-eczema-fibrocystic-breasts/

5. Clover: Red clover and white clover blossoms are both sweet and edible. Red clover especially is packed with vitamins and minerals! They both make a delicious tea, white clover iced tea recipe here: https://www.growforagecookferment.com/white-clover-iced-tea/

6. Fiddlehead Ferns: Fiddleheads are just fern leaves before they unravel, available only for a few weeks in spring. Ostrich fern is the most popular and tasty, similar in flavor to asparagus. Some fern varieties are toxic! *Make sure you have a good guidebook and always positively identify before harvesting!

7. Ramps: Also known as wild leeks. They have a strong onion flavor and can be used in place of onions or garlic. It's *important* to remember that ramps are becoming threatened in many areas. Consider your foraging spot and ALWAYS cut ramp leaves, leaving the bulb in the ground to regrow.

8. Cattail Shoots & Pollen: Every part of cattails can be used in some way, but the young spring shoots are the tastiest. They kind of taste like cucumber and can be eaten raw. The yellow pollen that covers the flower spike in spring and summer can be used as a foraged flour substitute.

9. Wild Asparagus: Notoriously difficult to spot, wild asparagus grows in patches throughout the US and Canada and tastes just like regular garden asparagus.

10. Stinging Nettle: *Bring a pair of gloves for harvesting! Don't touch it with bare skin!* Nettle is a superfood, packed with vitamins and minerals. Cooking it gets rid of the sting. Nettles are also medicinal, commonly used for kidney and bladder problems and as a tonic for women's reproductive health. Stinging Nettle-ade Recipe: https://www.growforagecookferment.com/stinging-nettle-ade-recipe/

11. Dead Nettle: Purple dead nettle is the most common variety and is often found in backyards, fields, parks, and gardens. It's delicious in a salad or pesto!

12. Henbit: In the same family as purple dead nettle and very similar looking. This is another yummy green for salads or a wild pesto. Chickens also love henbit, hence the name!

13. Garlic Mustard: Sometimes considered invasive, garlic mustard has a strong garlicky flavor that goes great in soups, salads, stir fries, tacos, and many other dishes. Since it's such a prolific plant you can usually pick lots of it without worry of over-harvesting.

14. Willow: Willow trees are highly medicinal trees and powerful pain relievers. All willows contain salicylic acid, the precursor to aspirin. It's bitter, but chewing some of the inner bark, drying it for a tea, or turning it into a decoction/tincture works well for pain relief and early spring is the best time to harvest.

15. Yarrow: A highly medicinal plant with white flowers and frilly leaves that make it easy to identify. It's bitter, but works in treating fevers and coughs, to help stop bleeding, and heal minor scrapes and bug bites. Yarrow is also great for skincare since it's soothing to the skin.

16. Plantain: Both edible and medicinal, with two main varieties, broadleaf plantain and narrowleaf plantain which are both beneficial. The young leaves can be eaten raw and are very nutritious. Older leaves are good in recipes like soups. Chewing some plantain leaf and putting it on a bug bite, bee sting, or minor wound will help with healing and to stop itching.

17. Cleavers: Many of us know cleavers as a garden weed that sticks to everything, but it's also medicinal! Cleavers are a highly nutritious food and also healthy for the lymphatic system. Blanching will get rid of the sticky hairs, here's some recipe ideas for cleavers: http://www.myhealthyhomemadelife.com/spring-foraging-5-ways-use-cleavers/

18. Morel Mushrooms: Some of the best (and most elusive) mushrooms to forage in spring. Morels should be cooked before eating and can be used like any other mushroom in recipes, they're delicious simply sauteed with a little butter too. *Always use a mushroom guidebook when mushroom hunting and ensure positive identification before consuming!

19. Oyster Mushrooms: Relatively easy to identify since they only grow on trees and stumps, oyster mushrooms are one of the tastiest wild mushrooms around. *Always use a mushroom guidebook when mushroom hunting and ensure positive identification before consuming!

20. King Bolete Mushrooms (Porcini): Considered a delicacy because they're so yummy, king boletes are often found on the forest floor growing under conifer trees. *Always use a mushroom guidebook when mushroom hunting and ensure positive identification before consuming!

Keep Reading: https://www.growforagecookferment.com/what-to-forage-in-spring/