#add your own pros and cons

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have finally landed a job interview and i have Such mixed feelings about it

[luveline]

i lowkey need to see stripper!reader and spencer again

for you gorgeous ♡ fem

cw adult themes

Hotch and Spencer draw attention at the strip club for the same reason but in varied fonts. They're both reminiscent of your regulars, Hotch the picture of a businessman with a wife to forget and steam to blow, and Spencer the silent sweetheart, pretty but too shy to talk to normal girls. 

He doesn't need a normal girl when he has you. 

You're glad for your cover up clothes as you lean against the dressing room door. One of the bouncers peers at you from the corner of his eye. 

"Trouble?" he asks. 

"Not sure. Probably not." You wave until Agent Hotchner notices you. To your delight, he raises his hand politely. 

You step around the bouncer and bypass the stage to the lighter area of the club where they stand in wait. "Hello. I could've met you outside." 

"Would you?" Agent Hotchner asks. 

You don't need him to explain. It's not the most professional thing, loitering in a club like this. You follow them out of the club and onto the street, cold even in your sweatpants as the wind rails. Spencer lets you squeeze his fingers in greeting, but that's all. 

"It's nice to see you again, Agent Hotchner," you say honestly, giving him a smile. 

He doesn't return the pleasantry, but Spencer swears he's softer than he looks so you choose to run with it as Agent Hotchner says, "We need information on one of your patrons." 

"Tennis Lawley," Spencer adds. 

"Tennis," you repeat. "I thought my pseudonym was bad."

Spencer gives you a quick look. I'd laugh if I weren't at work, it says. "We think he's involved in a string of killings in Washington DC. What do you know about him?" 

It's not an exaggeration to say you've played therapist for Tennis and a ton of guys just like him. Being a stripper, an exotic dancer, whatever anyone wants to call it (though Spencer usually just calls it your work) has pros and cons. You've felt it to be heavier on the con side, but this is a big plus, being able to assist someone you care about with something important. It makes you feel useful for once, like you're more than the froth of the city. "Ask me anything," you say, hiding your cheek from the cold with a deft hand. 

Spencer and Agent Hotchner ask you all sorts of questions, personal to their suspect and less so, and for the most part you're able to answer them. You can tell from the look on Hotchner's face that he's both surprised and extremely satisfied by your knowing, and he emphasises his thankfulness with a touch to your upper arm before he says goodbye. "Your help is invaluable, Y/N, thank you." 

Spencer, your sweetheart, stays for a more thorough farewell. 

"Have you eaten yet today?" he asks, the hand you'd squeezed earlier leaping for yours. "You look tired." 

"It's getting close to midnight, Spence. I'm alright. You and Agent Hotchner should head home and rest yourselves…" You bring your hand to his cheek but think better of yourself, pushing your arm over his shoulder instead for a hug. His own arms contract around you immediately. "I miss you lately, where have you been?" 

"Everywhere. I miss you too," he says. Despite the months of knowing one another, and the many states he's seen you in, you know without looking that Spencer is blushing profusely. 

You kiss his cheek as your heels return to safe ground. "Come and see me again soon, okay? And bring your rich friends. The older one, Rossi, is he really a millionaire? A divorced one?" 

"Yes, he is," Spencer says with a laugh, his voice climbing higher, "but I don't think he's looking for another wife right now, sorry." 

"Maybe Agent Hotchner–" 

"Stop calling him that." 

You look Spencer straight in the eye, nearly caught off guard by how sweet and soft they meld at your touch where your hands linger in his. 

You often think that you and Spencer aren't meant to be. Your life, whether willing or unwilling, by choice or design, is entirely focused around your body, and Spencer's world revolves around his mind. You know that what you do for work isn't anything to be ashamed of, but you have the same doubts as anyone else. You know what people think of you. You wouldn't blame Spencer for thinking the same things. And you wouldn't expect him to want to be with you in any aspect that wasn't physical. 

But when he holds your hands in his like this, as though they're made of something delicate, something he wants to map every detail or by fingertip alone, you wish things were different. 

You clear your throat. "I really do miss you when you're away," you confess. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be." Your hands miss his the millisecond you pull them away. "I guess I shouldn't keep you. Your boss will be wondering where you are." 

"Are you okay?" 

You can't even pretend it's a strange question; you're acting strange. "I'm fine, Dr. Reid. My nice new boss knows I know the feds, and all the girls are jealous of me when you guys come to visit. They think I'm on your payroll." 

Spencer quirks a puzzled frown, brows pulled together tightly. "You're harder to read than most people. Have I ever told you that?" 

"I guess it's 'cos I spend so much time pretending I'm a different person," you say, smiling to prompt him into smiling back. 

"Maybe." He pulls his bag from where it rests against his hip and opens it, rummaging through the contents with a confused murmur until he pulls out the shape he'd been looking for. "Here. Don't go to bed hungry, okay?" 

Spencer puts a protein bar in your hand. 

He steals a quick hug and leaves not long after that, crossing the dark parking lot to the mass of the dark SUV he arrives in. With one hand, you clutch the protein bar until it takes a new shape, and with the other you blow two sweet kisses, a cheesy, gaudy gesture that never fails to make your favourite special Agent blush. 

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Someone requested some advice on whether to openly tell people you are mentally ill/neurodivergent/invisibly disabled or not.

There's some research that suggests that, for example, autistic people are more likely to identify as lgbt+ than their non-autistic peers - so this is absolutely a topic that belongs on a lgbt+ blog and I'm sure there are a lot of you who had to make that decision (and probably keep having to make it as coming-outs of any sort are rarely one-and-done!).

In fact, I had/have to make that decision myself! As an autistic person with depression and anxiety, I could tell you now why I personally decided to be open about all those diagnoses - but the right decision for me isn't necessarily the right decision for you as my life isn't yours.

So, what I'll do instead is to write down a general list with (potential) pros and cons, and I encourage you to nitpick it. Personalize it, take some time to decide how much, if at all, each point weighs in your own decision. There's no right or wrong answer here. It's all about your highly individual situation, about your safety and comfort.

Reasons not to be open about it:

It may put you at risk for various sorts of hate, discrimination, negative stigma and bad treatment

It may put a burden on you to educate others and discuss any misconceptions or myths they believe in, including potentially hurtful or disstressing ones (maybe even fruitlessly so which may cause frustrations or fights)

It may change the way people treat you, even in well-meant ways (babying you, pitying you, trying to "help" against your wishes etc.)

It may feel like a loss of privacy, make you feel "naked" or emotionally vulnerable, make you worry more about the way others perceive you etc.

Reasons to be open about it:

It may help others understand you or your behavior better, which may have positive effects on your relationships

It may allow you to ask for support and help more easily (either from friends and loved ones or in the workplace, school etc.)

It may make you feel empowered and help you accept/love yourself as a disabled person more

It may contribute to making your specific diagnosis more visible in society (which may also make you feel pride in breaking down stereotypes and supporting your community)

It may discourage people from assigning wrong or hurtful labels to you (either armchair-diagnosing you or labeling you as weird, crazy, lazy, gross etc.)

It's important to keep in mind that some people do not have the option to make this decision for themselves, for example because they have highly visible symptoms or they are in a position where their caretakers make the decision for them. This adds another layer to why we can't judge one decision as better or worse than the other - it's not always their own decision.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[tia-shay]

moon signs and what you learned from your mother (raw & uncut)

I’m not a professional astrologer, just an enthusiast. These are possible manifestations of attributes your mother taught you based on your moon sign.

WARNING: this is clear cut, no BS, straight to the point. There’s pros and cons for every moon sign. There’s no way around it.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PLAGIARIZE MY WORK.

Aries Moon: your mother taught you how to fight, how to be resilient, how to depend on yourself and no one else. Your mother probably led with masculine energy. There’s an added layer of aggression in your relationship. She taught you how to be “tough.” You were likely raised by one parent for some reason (I’ve seen this be caused by the death of a parent at a young age or a parent who chooses not to be around due to strained rxship).

Taurus Moon: your mother taught you how to chill. Hard. You probably wanted for nothing. Money, security, stability- you had it all. You know how to eat, sleep, wake up, and do it all again. Maybe your home was uneventful growing up. You know how to make money and spend it just as well. Your mother likely didn’t do much that’s worth noting. She taught you how to work and chill out. This is a very narrow manifestation of this sign.

Gemini Moon: your mother taught you how to blend in to any crowd. You two probably gossiped together. Your mother may have provided the ultimate “How to Be Well Perceived” guide for you. How to hold a conversation with anyone. How to intellectualize emotions rather than actually feeling them. You can think or talk your way out of any situation, which may be a double edged sword as this can and will get you into trouble.

Cancer Moon: your mother taught you how to play the victim. How to become overly sensitized to other people’s emotions and the slightest change in their energies. How to be in touch with your own inner world; how to manipulate or be manipulated. You likely played a motherly role in life, but this is affected by house placements and aspects. Ex. A cancer moon in the 10th house may show their more nurturing side in public, but not so much at home.

Leo Moon: your mother taught you how to be flamboyant; how to prioritize yourself and your own emotions over others; how to lighten up the mood- likely to avoid dealing with heavier subjects. How to be the ✨golden child✨. But also, you as the child might have to step aside so your mom can have the true spotlight. At the end of the day, she comes first in her mind.

Virgo Moon: your mother taught you how to be “helpful,” likely to your own detriment. How to shut your mouth and sacrifice yourself and your well being for your family. How to be an adult from a very young age; you probably didn’t have a childhood. I’ve seen wayyy too many people with this placement parenting their own parents and other peoples kids while they themselves are literal children. Did you raise your mother or did your mother raise you? Your mother likely has no concept of your personal boundaries. If you place any, she’s surprised by the utter audacity. Also (trigger warning: violence) many Virgo moons mother’s are physically abusive. Does your mom randomly slap you when she’s mad? Just know you’re more than a maid or a punching bag. You are a person. I could write a whole book on this placement just based on the pure chaos of it. I’m so sorry. I love you.

Libra Moon: your mother taught you how to keep up with your appearances; that looks and what people think is far more important than any feeling you may experience. She taught you how to be well-liked and how to create a fake personality to keep others comfortable. If you’re feeling sad, you probably just need a new outfit or lipgloss to add an attempted cover to the crap that’s lurking in your subconscious mind.

Scorpio Moon: God help us all. Your mother taught you how to be afraid. Literally. Your baseline is likely fear which is learned directly from the mother. Your mother taught you how to manipulate as you see fit, which of course includes manipulating her as well. This likely goes both ways. You were taught to be emotionally in tune with your mother, with no boundaries or consideration for how you as an individual feel. Trust issues beyond comprehension. But you can’t help it, it’s literally in your blood. Also, love is not possession and control. You need to let that belief go, babe.

Sagittarius Moon: your mother taught you how to ignore anything that isn’t sunshine and rainbows, shut up, and keep it to pushing. Emotions were not a thing in your home. You’d be crazy to feel anything but joy. If you do, you’re considered ungrateful. Your mother was likely distant for some reason. Even if physically present, there was no emotional connection. But hey, at least she taught you new languages and exposed you to different cultures, right?

Capricorn Moon: (signs, “Santa Maria”). No, I am not here as another random person on Tumblr who thinks they know Capricorn moons. I’m here as someone who actually knows Capricorn moons. Your mother taught you how to put on a brave face, work until you can taste your own blood, and don’t stop for even a moment to think of what’s lurking under the surface. If you work really hard, you won’t even have a chance to notice all the baggage you’re carrying around! Anddd you’ll have piles of money to dry any tears that threaten to escape. You probably cry in your closet for complete and total privacy. Or not, maybe that’s just me. You’re taught to be the backbone of the family. Everything would probably collapse without you. But hey, no pressure, right?

Aquarius Moon: your mother taught you how to detach from any and all emotions. Do you even feel what you’re feeling? Or are your emotions solely for research purposes? Asking for a friend. You likely live away from your mother. She may even be on a completely different continent. Your mother is likely your friend at best, and a complete stranger at worst. Your friends are your family. You likely felt the need to escape your family from a young age. Maybe you were even embarrassed of how “weird” your family was. But alas, we can always make our own families out of friends. 💜

Pisces Moon: your mother taught you how to be the victim. Honestly, this might go for all water moons. Just apply that to this whole element. Your relationship with your mother may have been an emotional rollercoaster. Do you ever get off to take breaks? Perhaps your mother took on a more Neptunian approach to your relationship and she’s so emotionally distant you couldn’t catch her if you tried. How’s your sleep schedule? Maybe you sleep to avoid the feelings that are just too hard to deal with. Subliminal meditations are your friend.

I had a blast writing this. Let me know what you think!

RIGHTS RESERVED TO MY BLOG astro-enthusiast . DO NOT COPY, REWRITE, OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

[lynaferns]

Out of curiosity, if you were to have wings (either substitute your own arms or attached to your back) would you prefer feathers or skin? Realistically speaking*

(image examples, doesn't have to look like these)

Feel free to add your own reasonings (in the comments or if you reblog this).

Both appeal to me in different ways but they have their cons and pros, imo:

*Feathers wings would be comfy and warm in winter but they'll have to eventually shed and that could be a bother. Not to mention the acarus they can get...

If they get wet it'll be difficult to fly, plus they'll get heavier, until they dry. The feathers are attached to blood vessels and if they get cut too close to the end you could bleed out (unless you take off the remaining part of the cut out feather, letting the skin close).

*Skin wings could (kind of) still be used as arms and you could climb with them too (thanks to the thumb and claw). They are extensions of skin which means there are nerves and blood vessels, and if the skin rips, besides hurting, you'll probably won't be able to fly again, or at least you'll have difficulties to fly.

If the skin is also attached to the side of your body it could difficult movement.

(I think there would be also some sensory issues attached to having skin wings. Idk maybe it's just me...)

[fluentmoviequoter]

Tim Testing

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!reader

Summary: After transferring to the Mid-Wilshire division because of toxic male officers harassing you, you find yourself partnered with Tim Bradford. When you are injured during a Tim Test, you hide the injury so he doesn't think less of you.

Warnings: angst to fluff, misogynistic comments and actions toward reader (from police officers), reader is injured and passes out, Tim is a softie

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

A/N: This was such an amazing request!! Tim (and everyone at Mid-Wilshire) would be so welcoming after dealing with something like this, so I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you think!🤍

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

You knew from the beginning that it would be different for you, that being a female cop would have its pros, cons, and tough moments. What you didn’t expect was the men who were supposed to be your equals harassing you and making each moment far worse than it should have been.

Between the crass comments about how your uniform fit, questioning whether it was your time of the month whenever you tried to stand up for yourself, and their inability to trust you in the field, you learn your place quickly.

“I’d like to request a transfer to a different station,” you tell your commanding officer.

“Why?” he asks.

“Because there is no respect, no trust in this station. Looking over my shoulder while I’m trying to work, and having to defend myself against the very people who are supposed to have my back is exhausting and it makes me unable to do my job.”

He sighs, rolling his eyes as he slides a form to you. “Your decision. Though showing how weak you are by moving around every time things get hard, or your feelings get hurt isn’t plausible.”

“And you had to ask why,” you mutter, snatching the paper off his desk and walking out to fill it out in private.

“Hey, princess, before we leave on patrol I need to know you don’t have your gun at the front of your belt,” someone calls. “Don’t want to risk getting killed by your poor aim.”

You remain silent, which makes them quit or spurs them on to push you further. As if your day isn’t going poorly already, they take your silence as a weakness.

“Just her gun? You should be more worried about how her attitude changes if her bra rides up or her hormones spike,” a second voice adds.

“You’re on your own today,” you reply. “I’m on desk duty.”

“Finally, someone put you where you belong.”

The men laugh as they walk toward their shops, and you take a deep breath as the quiet settles over the station. Once your paperwork is complete, you take it to the captain. You can only hope it goes through quickly before you get fed up and quit forever.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your commanding officer yells your name as you walk in, intercepting you on your way to the locker room. 

“Your transfer just came through, you’re expected at the Mid-Wilshire division for roll call first thing in the morning; today’s PTO while we complete the paperwork,” he informs.

You accept the paper he hands you and pretend not to hear as he adds, “I hope they know what they’re getting into and have the patience to deal with you.”

Smiling as you empty your locker, you hope things are looking up. Although, you know it will be hard to open up to new people and trust new cops, even if they are different than your previous team.

✯✯✯✯✯

Entering the Mid-Wilshire station, you cross your fingers that transferring was the right decision. Sergeant Wade Grey is your new commanding officer, and your day (and your future) relies on this meeting going well.

“Sergeant Grey?” you ask, knocking on his open door.

He looks up, smiling as he beckons you inside. Saying your name, he opens a folder and compliments your arrest record. “I was surprised to hear you asked for a transfer, it seemed like you were doing well at your previous station.”

“The environment was making it difficult to do as well as I know I can, sir,” you answer.

Grey nods. “I can understand that. Our people are good, though, so I expect you will fit in well and succeed in all you do here.”

“I appreciate that, sir.”

“And you can drop the ‘sir,’ we’re not as formal as some other stations.”

Blinking in surprise, you look away from Wade when another cop enters the small office. 

“Sergeant Bradford, I’d like to introduce you to your new partner. I will warn both of you this is likely a temporary partnership, but one I trust will do you both some good.”

You smile at Bradford, who tilts his head to the side as he looks you over. It’s clear that he isn’t thrilled about having a partner, having grown used to working alone since becoming a sergeant. As long as he doesn’t treat you like a boot, or worse, like a girl who doesn’t have what it takes to be a cop, you can survive working with him for a few weeks.

What you don’t see, though, is that Tim can look at you and tell you’re a good cop. He reviewed your paperwork and arrest record with Wade yesterday, and he’s impressed by you. You’re good, but you have the potential to be better with the right help. And, for some reason, Wade is convinced that Tim can give you the push you need to be your best.

“Okay, let’s go,” Tim says, turning away as Wade tells you to have a good day.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim acknowledges that you’re not a rookie but warns you from the beginning that you still have something to prove.

“I know you’ve been a cop for a while, but I haven’t seen you in action. Your records are admirable, but I need to see proof that you’re still that good,” he explains. “So, I will test you and challenge you while we’re riding together, but don’t view it as starting over, more like proving grounds than qualifications.”

You nod, remembering something Wade muttered about “Tim Tests,” which you’re sure are unique to Bradford.

“I understand. I’ll do my best, and I want to learn to be better.”

Tim doesn’t reply, and you raise your guard, unimpressed with how shut off he is with you. In general, your past has made you wary around men; after Tim’s insistence that you have something to prove, you are determined to hide everything that could be taken as a sign of weakness. You will do whatever it takes to show you are a good cop, worthy of respect.

Slamming on the brakes, Tim yells, “We’re being ambushed; what do you do?”

“Radio for backup, stay in the shop, stay low, and fire only if necessary,” you answer, nearly robotically, as he catches you off guard.

Tim eases back onto the road, ignoring you once again.

✯✯✯✯✯

Just before your scheduled lunch break, something which you haven’t actually enjoyed in far too long, Tim parks between two old warehouses.

“There’s a suspicious package in the gray building, you’re riding alone and need to check it out,” he explains. “Radio any information as you find it.”

You switch your radio to a private channel with Tim, accepting the call as you exit the shop and enter the building. It’s dark and wet, but you refuse to accept any comments or disdainful looks from Tim if you fail this test, so you will find the package and impress him as quickly as possible.

“7-Adam-9, located suspicious package: brown paper bag situated between steel beams,” you radio.

“Dispatch, requesting additional information,” Tim replies.

You sigh, moving forward to look at the bag because you can’t touch it. When you move, the beams sitting upright in the warehouse shift. Stepping back a second too late, one side of the heavy structure hits the back of your shoulder, shoving you forward into the crate holding the package.

Pain radiates through your shoulder as you move to the side, pulling yourself away from the mess you made with a sharp inhale.

“7-Adam-9, false alarm. Suspicious package is empty. Code 4.”

“Copy 7-Adam-9.”

Taking a step toward the door, you hiss in pain as the pain moves from your shoulder around to your ribs, where you fell against the crate. It seems likely that you broke something or at least got a deep bruise, but telling Tim would be like admitting that you’re weak. So, as you level your expression and cover your pain by walking normally, you decide to hide your pain.

Being labeled weak or incapable, or as before, giving Tim a reason to view you as less than is not an option anymore. Buckling your seatbelt, you press your lips together to keep your pained sounds muted, and the feeling of the seat on your shoulder makes you count down the minutes until you can get out of the shop.

✯✯✯✯✯

As the day goes on, your pain grows in intensity. Each breath causes immeasurable pain, and your stomach turns when you move your shoulder in any direction.

“Wade’s going to ask me, so how’s your first day going?” Tim asks, turning down a residential street to respond to a noise disturbance.

“Fine,” you answer quickly, clenching your jaw to stay quiet.

“Good,” he replies, though his voice sounds different. “Glad you found a station that works for you.”

You can’t tell if his comment is passive-aggressive, implying that you are the issue rather than the station you transferred from. The overbearing pain you’re feeling makes it nearly impossible to care.

“You take point on this one,” Tim offers as he parks by the curb.

“Yes, sir.”

Asking questions and explaining the city’s noise ordinances to the tenant, you’re momentarily distracted from your pain. The moment you turn to return to the shop, though, you’re reminded that your new position isn’t quite as enjoyable as you were expecting.

“Take us back to the station,” Tim says, tossing the shop keys to you.

When you raise your hand to catch the keys, your shoulder screams in protest, and you close your eyes momentarily to hide the pain.

“You alright?” Tim asks.

Nodding, you release a sigh when Tim climbs into the passenger seat, too easily convinced by your answer.

✯✯✯✯✯

After a quick meeting with Wade, discussing your new role, and signing a few documents, you head for the locker room. When you pull your shirt off, you glance in the mirror, surprised to see the size and color of the bruise; your entire shoulder, over to your neck and down around the front of your ribs, is a sickening purple. The yellowish tint around the edges is a sign that it will only worsen before it begins to heal. Attempting to raise your arm again, you feel something shift under your skin and step into one of the bathroom stalls, kneeling as you try to keep yourself from being sick. When you lean your head against the metal wall, the coolness is soothing, and as you finally let yourself acknowledge the pain, it becomes all you can feel.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim opens Wade’s door, furrowing his brows when he sees you’re not there.

“She left a few minutes ago,” Wade answers.

“Her car’s still here.”

“Must be in the locker room then.”

“Why’d she transfer?” Tim asks, stepping inside to close the door.

“I don’t know, Bradford. You’re going to have to ask her.”

Tim nods, turning away to search for you. He knocks on the locker room door, and when no one answers, he opens it and says your name. Once again met with silence, he steps inside and looks around. Your locker is open, but you’re nowhere to be seen. As he rounds the last row of lockers, he sees someone sitting on the floor in one of the bathroom stalls.

Tim says your name, knocking on the door. It opens at his touch, and he catches it before it hits your arm. Kneeling beside you, he looks across your face, pressing his hand behind your neck as he tries to find the source of your unconsciousness. His hand dips to your upper shoulder, and you groan, opening your eyes.

Tim ignores you as you wake, gently leaning you forward as he surveys the bruise where it’s visible past your tank top.

“Stay awake,” he says, moving you again. “Just your shoulder?”

You nod, and he demands to know: “Home or hospital?”

“Home,” you whisper. “But I can-“

“Obviously you can’t,” Tim snaps, his arms gentler than his voice as he lifts you from the ground.

✯✯✯✯✯

You stay conscious, fighting against the pain as you give Tim directions to your home. After getting you inside and as comfortable as possible, he leaves your side to gather a few things before returning. He gives you a glass of water and a few pain reliever pills, waiting until you’ve taken them to lay an ice pack across your shoulder. You take a deep breath at the cold before catching yourself.

“What else hurts?” Tim asks.

“My ribs,” you admit.

He leans you back gently, pushing your tank top to your sternum as he surveys the darkening bruise across your lower ribcage. Gently moving his hand across your skin, he doesn’t feel anything obviously broken, apologizing as you whimper at the pressure. Pulling the first aid kit he brought from your kitchen to his side, he places several cooling packets over your ribs. 

Satisfied that he’s done all he can do for you, Tim moves to sit across from you, making himself comfortable in your living room.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“I’m not leaving,” he answers quickly, “what if you collapse again?”

“I’ll be fine.”

Tim silences, closing his eyes as he leans back. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You’ve heard that question dozens of times, but previously, it was asked in a much different tone. Always an accusation that you hadn’t handled something correctly or that you should have let someone else do whatever it was that needed to be done. 

When you look back at Tim, his eyes are on you, and you shrug. His eyes narrow as his gaze intensifies, demanding your answer.

“The last station that I worked at made me nervous to tell people things, especially other cops. All of the guys that I worked with harassed me constantly, and they tried to convince me that I wasn’t a good cop because I was a woman. So, I have trouble trusting other police officers with personal things. During your Tim Tests, I thought that if I acknowledged something had happened, you’d see me the same way.”

“Which way?”

“Weak, incapable,” you answer, trailing off.

“They were bad people,” Tim explains. “They may have been okay cops, but no one deserves to be treated like that.”

You nod, licking your lips as your gaze drops to the blanket across your lap.

“Want to tell me what happened today?” he pries.

“The steel beams around the bag?” Tim nods, so you continue, “They fell. One of them hit my shoulder and knocked me forward.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known that would happen. Besides, you helped me. My last partner would have found a way to blame be.”

“Like I said, bad people. But you… you’re a good person and a good cop,” Tim continues. “I’ve known that since you walked in, but I needed to know that you knew. Getting hurt or being unable to do something on the first try doesn’t make you less of a person, or a cop. Being a woman doesn’t either. And if they didn’t see that, it’s their loss.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, looking into his eyes.

“And my gain.”

You furrow your brows at Tim, but he leans back and closes his eyes instead of elaborating.

[lure-of-writing]

Little Sister: Are you going to tell her or should I?

Summary: Morrigan forces Azriel to make a choice. Either she is going to tell you or he is

Word count: 2.7k

part one, part two, part three, part four , part five

The rumbling ground beneath his feet was one indicator of what was about to come. The other indicator was the shaking paintings that were hung on the wall. Rhys may be the most powerful high lord to ever exist but your power easily rivaled his own. In anticipation of your arrival the quill pen that had just been in use was placed gently on the desk right next to the piece of paper it was just being used on. The force of the heavy wood doors being blown open almost sends the paper flying into his face, if not for his hand placed on top of it. “It’s always such a-” the words pleasure to see you died in his throat as you cut him off. “Ok what is the deal?” one of his perfectly groomed eyebrows raised slightly in questioning at your tired tone of voice. “Oh please let's not act like you don’t know what I am talking about.” the eyebrow didn’t lower even a centimeter. Marching over to the inviting seat in front of his desk you ungracefully plop yourself into the waiting chair. “Remember when Cassian accidentally knocked me out?” you watch as your brother wordlessly nodding in confusion. “Good.” you huff out letting the room fill with silence leaving your brother in a stronger state of confusion then before you started talking. At least before you came into his office Rhysand could have guessed about a thousand reasons as to what has you so upset but now he genuinely does not know where you are going with any of this. “ Go back like a week or two in time after me and Az returned from the summer court and both you and him were avoiding me. Why?” 

Rhysand knew why he was avoiding you but as for Azriel he's not too sure. Obviously he could take a very educated guess but that was about all he could do without asking. “I was busy.” Now the high lord watched as his little sister copied his earlier action of raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow in questioning. “Busy doing what exactly.” Silence once again engulfed the room as Rhysand weighed the pros and cons of telling you his reasoning for avoiding his own sister. A heavy sigh left his lips as he decided to tell you the nicer reason for his absence in your life. “When I walked in your room and saw Az helping you get dressed, that was obviously not something that I, as your older brother, wanted to see.” the continue on motion of your hand forced him to continue. “And as your older brother I obviously never want you to get hurt. In any version of the word. But as your brother I also realize, very reluctantly, at that might I add, that you deserve to live your own life. That means including having a romantic partner. So I was attempting to convince myself that if you pursued a relationship with Azriel that I would be ok.” 

A pregnant pause fell upon the room before you spoke up “That is why you’ve been avoiding me? Seriously?” The warm tone of your laughter brought a warm sensation  dancing up Rhysands neck and cheeks. Nobody else had the ability to embarrass him like his little sister does. “Rhys you know Azriel one hundred percent does not see me like that right? I mean yeah I like to use him to irritate you but he only does that because I asked him to.” your shoulders moved up and down in a shrugging motion. “While you may think that is true you have to remember for all of your life I have banned both you and those to pea brains of trying anything with each other so I needed some time to process even the mere thought of that happening.” you watched from across the desk as your brother pretended to gag. “I guess I no longer have to worry about Cass now that he has Nesta.” he added as an afterthought more to himself than to you.  “That explains why you have been avoiding me, even if it was because you were having a meltdown over nothing but what about Azriel? Why has he been avoiding me.?”  Moments of Rhysands conversation with Azriel played out in his mind. “I can only guess it's because after you paraded around summer” the sound of you scoffing interrupted his story. “Are you done being offended or can I continue.” Rhys watched as you rolled your eyes, taking that as his sign to continue on. “As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. After you returned I talked to Az about the different times I have caught the two of you in interesting situations, to say the least, and asked him about your relationship with each other. And since I have always made it clear he was never to see you in any way other than platonically I would assume he took that as a sign to step back from being around you.” 

The quill pen you summoned was quickly thrown across the desk at your brother “You big overprotective bat! How many times do I need to tell you that Azriel does not see me like that.” Rhys easily caught the pen giving a not so hidden sly smile at your turn to be embarrassed. “No wonder why he's avoiding me. You made it awkward. I’m just his friend's little sister and nothing more. Now I’m sure you’ve given him the wrong idea of me.” A big belly laugh erupted from within Rhysand quickly filling in the room. “After almost five hundred years  I think it’s a little late for Az to just now get the wrong idea of you.” the words barely escaped in between the laughter “You are a menace!” Rhys just continued to laugh as you marched your way back out of his office “I love you too!” The echo of his shout follows you down the corridor as you make your way out of his house. 

The very next morning you made your way to the top of the house ready to start training. “Ah ah ah.” Cassian's voice tuts from across the open roof top. Your eyes scan the room until they land on the wiggling finger that matched the owners equally as wiggly head. “You are not to be training until Madja says you can.” scrunching your face you look at Nesta before making eye contact with the general again “And who are you? My mother?” A bellowing laughter swallows up the words that just slipped past your lips. “When it comes to training I sure am.” his larger than most bicep wraps around your shoulders tucking your body into his. Leading you to the entrance that leads back to the lower level of the house. Cassian had almost gotten you to the threshold of the door when you spotted Azriel from the corner of your eye. Quickly you twirl out of your training mothers warmth and strut over to the one and only shadowsinger. “You’ve been avoiding me. Why?” the fact you had to tilt your head slightly upwards had never irritated you like it did in that moment. You watched as his hazel eyes shuffled across the room taking note of every person who showed up to training this morning. “I haven’t been avoiding you.” you could tell he was being extra quiet on purpose “Oh really is that why Rhys told me-” the words died in your throat as strong hands wrapped around your torso and lifted you from the ground. “Now young one I don’t think interrogating someone is something Madja said you were ok to do yet. Plus training starts in two minutes so you can do your questioning at a later time.” Gently Cassian once more places you on the outside of the training area. Glowering you said nothing as Cassian chuckled at your lack of response before making his way back to the center of the area. 

You watched as Azriel gave Cassian an appreciative nod and Cassian just patted him on the back before starting training. Something was definitely going on, you just didn’t know what. For now at least. 

If there was one thing that living this long has given you it was an endless supply of patience. So for almost three hours you stood leaning against the wall watching both warriors show off different techniques following up with critiquing each other's quote unquote weak spots for techniques. Finally after everything was said and done did Cassian allow you to step foot in the official training area. Azriel was stood by himself drinking water when you appeared in front of him. “Why have you been avoiding me?” you could hear how hurt you sounded to your own ears and tried to not wince at the sound of the pathetic tone you displayed. You watched as the male's face fell before you. “I didn’t mean for you to feel like I was avoiding you. It’s just-” you observed as it appeared Azriel was having an internal debate with himself before sighing a reluctant sigh “ you know how Rhys gets when it comes to you. After we got back he asked if anything was going on between the two of us and I said no. I respect both you and Rhys. I never want to betray Rhysands trust so I haven’t been avoiding you per say but you know.” he ended with a hefty shoulder shrug. 

“So what I’m hearing is that you don’t hate me?” the facade of the shadowsinger broke in front of you to reveal a gentle, kind hearted male who would do anything for his family. The chuckle that fell from his lips brought a giggle to your own. “No, I don't hate you. I don't even think that's possible.” Azriel opens his arms as an invite to share a hug. Even though he was covered in sweat from head to toe you wrapped your arms around his torso pressing your cheek against his chest where his heart was beating. “Well that's good to know because I was starting to get concerned.”  Another chuckle made its way out of his throat and the vibrations of his laughter once again caused your own laughter. “So” you drag out the last vowel “Does that mean you will go shopping with me tomorrow?” you propped your chin against his chest and looked up at your closest friend. “If I must.”  His gentle teasing was met with an equally if not gentler kiss on the hairline of your forehead. 

Ever since your confrontation with Azriel things seemed to go back to normal but not completely back to normal. Something was off that you couldn’t put your finger on but it was without a doubt better than it used to be. The flow of the inner circle had almost returned back to completely normal. That would be until a few weeks later when at family dinner everything would change. 

It was very well known that dinners amongst the inner circle were tradition but it was lesser known that having a dinner where each personal either cooked or brought something to contribute to the dinner was also a tradition. 

This time around it was Feyre, Mor, Elain and yourself in the kitchen. Collectively as a good the three of you were trying your best not to destroy the High ladys kitchen. Elain had no such problems as she was often found making the best treats for the family on a daily basis. The oldest and youngest sister along with yourself had managed to make an edible dinner item, even though it was more challenging than the three of you would like to admit. While cooking was a neutral territory for yourself in terms of skills, it was cooking for three grown Illyrian bats and their accompanying companion along with the rest of the family that stretched your cooking abilities thin. It was a miracle the food was even edible on a good day. Let alone a day with nine hungry fae waiting to be fed. 

  After much work in the kitchen everyone had finally settled down around the table, only after much wrangling on both Feyres and yours behalf. Rhys was at the head of the table with your sister-in-law while you were seated in between Morrgian and Elain. Across from you was Amren, Azriel, Cassian and Nesta sitting in that order. 

Dinner was going as well as it normally did. Cass was making stupid jokes poking at Amren. Feyre was playing mediator, just in case they decided they wanted to destroy each other. And in turn destroy her house. Your brother was assisting Feyre in keeping the family under control and also dotting on her the whole time. Nesta and you were talking about books and Mor along with Elain were discussing different clothing options. 

The smell in the room was subtle at first but quickly you realized the brownies you had put in the oven prior to everyone sitting down were finally done. You just hopped they were burnt. With an abrupt “Oh! Crap!” you sent your chair sliding backwards and hurried off towards the hopefully unharmed cooked batter. After a few minutes of cutting and neatly placing the brownies on a platter you re-entered the dining room that was just as chaotic as when you had left. Cooking you may not be the best at but you were a pretty great baker. The Random desserts you make were always a hit amongst your family and you were sure these would be no different. 

“Anyone want a brownie? Of course Cass was the first to raise his hand and thus started your journey around the table handing out freshly baked goods. You had just rounded the corner of the table when you noticed that one person didn’t take a treat. Azriel. “Az? You don’t want a brownie?” you scrunched your brows together as you gently raise the platter you were holding as in an invitation. “No I’m ok” without realizing your face fell. “But you always eat anything I bake. You always say that I make the best desserts and you’ve never turned them down.” Azriel didn’t take his eyes off of you, instead they shifted between the platter of food back to your eyes before they repeated the process a few more times. “It’s-” his stutter catches you off guard causing you to raise an eyebrow in both confusion and questioning. 

“It’s just that I’m full right now and I-” once again you made a confused look and glanced down to his plate “That's only your second plate of food usually you eat three or four so I know you're not full. Why don’t you want one? Do you not like my baking?”  Once again you found yourself feeling extra hurt about a choice Azriel had made. Usually you were never this emotional but lately you couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the hit to the head that was causing you to be so emotional. As it wasn’t fully healed yet. The male was certainly free to do what he wants but this was new and confusing. “Oh help the brother and the mother.” you looked down to Morr where she had propped her elbows on the table and rested her head upon her hands. “What?”  Your confused tone causes a giggle to escape. “Do you really not understand why he won't eat the damn brownie?” Just as your cousin was about to explain, Azriel cut her off. “Morrigan don’t. It’s not your place to tell her.” 

Now this had your attention. What exactly was there to tell? And Why was Azriel being so secretive about it? After what felt like forever of the two of them going back and forth with each other you intervened. “Will somebody please tell me what is going on?” you didn’t shout but your question definitely wasn’t quiet either. You just needed to get their attention and it worked. “Are you going to tell her or should I?” Silence engulfed the room but Morrigan didn’t let it last too long. “The reason he won't accept your food is because you're his mate.” and in that moment everything stopped.

Taglist:

@kemillyfreitas @lana08 @willowpains @username199945 @tothestarsandwhateverend

@kylaisra @lilah-asteria @nickishadow139 @br0klynbby @blacktreacle22

@amysangel @mp-littlebit @mybestfriendmademe

[northopalshore]

🌺💐Union Persona Chart observations pt.2

‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ��� . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

Union asteriod (1585)

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

Signifies circumstances in which you'll meet your future spouse. It also tells you events or changes that will happen within your life when meeting them. This post only applies to the union persona chart.

Check out part 1 here! Masterlist

🌺 Stellium in 9th house

You could meet them while pursuing higher education like highschool or university, you could also meet them when you move to another state or country, at church or through any means of expanding your knowledge i.e learning a course, a language.

🌺 Chiron (21° sagittarius ) retrograde in 1st house

Both of you could have a very healing effect on eachother's self esteem or body image. Perhaps you will relate over being bullied for your looks or being insecure about it and overcoming that past trauma. You both will add a new perspective into eachother's idea of beauty

🌺 Capricorn 2nd house

You'll meet them when you are financially stable. Could also be when you get a job.

🌺 Neptune (aries/aries°) retrograde in 2nd house

You could meet them while you are working/earning money in a foreign land. You might not be able to see them often because of work. You'll be quite occupied with your own career/making more money i.e prioritising money over seeing eachother as often as you'd like.

🌺 Sun (28° cancer) in leo 9th house

When you first see each other, it could be at a party or event at a nearby town/city.

🌺 Sun conjunct mercury

You could talk a lot with this person the first time you meet. You feel like they get everything that you're saying and you can't help but keep talking to eachother!

Note: if union is in the same house as your sun, it means that the first time you are introduced/heard of your future spouse is the first time you see each other face to face.

🌺 Moon in 11th house

You will feel instantly comfortable with this person. You could feel like you've met this person before, a sense of familiarity or you are familiar with their type of energy i.e having friends with similar vibes.

🌺 Juno retrograde in 1st house

You might not recognise them as your future spouse or even a potential romantic partner at first i.e not after getting to know them on a deeper level. They might not seem like your type at first.

🌺 Pluto retrograde in 12 th house

You might be in a long distance relationship for some time i.e someone is living/ working in another country. You could also move to their place/country after a while.

🌺 Saturn (22° Capricorn ) in cancer 7th house

You could have been single for a long time before you met. Your relationship will be very stable. Both of you will be very responsible towards eachother. It may take a while for your relationship to form however, or there might be an issue because of contracts/work. You might have to act professional around eachother often i.e work with eachother.

🌺 Boda (1°, 13°, 25° aries) in Taurus

They will be the one to propose/ initiate the relationship. However, they may take their time. Often opting to feel out the pros and cons, could feel like forever for them to make a move because of hesitation. You could feel impatient about it too. But, once they do, they will stick by you through everything.

🌺 Venus in 7th house

They will bring a lot of love, balance and beauty into your relationships i.e by being your partner or by handling/closing arguments in your love life/family life/relationships. Maybe resolving the issue of " when are you going to get a partner already?" thrown by family members lol.

🌺 Moon sextile mercury

You will feel very comfortable talking to eachother. You feel like they understand exactly what you mean and where you're coming from.

🌺 Part of fortune (26° taurus) in 3rd house

Your interests, intellect and humour will be highlighted in your connection. You may find that talking to eachother brings a lot of joy into your life. You could also learn a lot from eachother i.e broadening your horizons. They could have siblings that you'll be friends with or they're going to be great friends with your siblings. You/they could feel like an extension of your/their family/ siblings!

🌺 Uranus (5° leo) retrograde in 3rd house

They will change the way you think about what you consider as fun. They will change the way you interact with your siblings. Maybe you'll find yourself hanging out with them more when you're with your partner.

🌺 Groom in 11th house/aquarius°

You'll find yourself talking more with this person online or through the phone. Calling them often, texting more than talking face to face. If you're a woman, this describes your husband.

🌺 Briede (28° cancer) in Taurus 6th house

You may work at home a lot/your home town/country when you meet . You may consider being a stay at home wife when with this person. If you are a man, this describes your wife.

🌺 Neptune sextile pluto

You may share the same fantasies or kinks with this person. You may feel like they are always out of reach from you and you want to bring them closer to you. You'll be comfortable sharing secrets with eachother.

🌺 Neptune sextile groom

You may have fantasies about this person i.e who they are, what they're like. They may live/be at a distance from you.

🌺 Sun conjunct mars

You may have similar goals/drives. Perhaps you share a common interest you wish to pursue. There may be a lot of sexual tension between you at times.

🌺 Jupiter trine Saturn

You'll likely be with this person for a very long time. Your careers may benefit from being together. You are both very loyal to each other.

🌺 Sun trine boda

You'll see each other as marriage material!

🌺 Juno opposite venus

You may not be eachother's usually type of love interest but the more you get to know eachother the more you are attracted/intrigued!

‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚

*** disclaimer: entertainment purposes only, reader discretion is advised***

Thank you for reading ⁠♡

@northopalshore

[0310s]

boynextdoor with a fashionable s/o ⊹๋࣭⭑

members: bnd legal line x gender neutral reader

genre & tags: fluff, established relationship

wc: 1.9k

a/n: as someone who adores dressing up, i just thought this was something i eventually had to write! i've slowly been building my closet these past few months, looking for thrifted clothes and jewelry i can add to my rotation! it's been fulfilling and i get a lot of energy from the outfits i wear (∩˃o˂∩)♡

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ sungho 

🍀 what style does he prefer? 🍀

i personally think sungho is attracted to people who wear more feminine styles of clothing. he just enjoys how pretty and delicate everything looks! he also likes someone with a cozy style—basically anything soft and huggable. the closest style i can think of would be coquette! think oversized cardigans, knit sweaters, pleated or tiered skirts, ribbons, mary janes, and cute hats (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

🐬 shopping with his s/o 🐬

sungho would definitely be an enthusiastic partner if you asked him to accompany you to shop. he looks at each item with an careful eye, assessing the item’s quality in comparison to the price point. i also believe sungho has your wardrobe memorized, so if you show him something similar to what you already have, he’ll point that out so you can look for something else. plus he’ll be a big help calculating costs when you’re shopping on a budget! he’s definitely your voice of reason if you feel indecisive, listing down the pros and cons of each piece. and he’d definitely hold you back if you wanted to buy items out of your budget ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

🍧 couple items and coordinating outfits 🍧

sungho would def be shy about couple items that are too obvious, so he’d settle for matching necklaces/bracelets with subtle, delicate designs. sungho also tries to match your energy for the day—if you’re going for something lowkey, he’ll do the same, and when you put more effort into your outfit for the day he’ll dress up more! but he'll make sure to never outshine you... he wants everyone to see how pretty you are and focus their attention on you.

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ riwoo 

🍀 what style does he prefer? 🍀

riwoo would most likely be attracted to someone who has a quirky and interesting style. the closest style i can think of would be that of 90s harajuku streetwear (think fruits magazine!). he’d like someone who has a strong sense of personal style and someone who’s knowledgeable about clothing materials. plus someone who knows how to layer and experiments/is willing to take risks! i can imagine him thinking someone with colored hair, bright makeup, and who accessorizes is cool (∩˃o˂∩)♡ 

🐬 shopping with his s/o 🐬

as the most fashionable member in bnd, riwoo would definitely possess a more critical eye when it comes to shopping with you. you’d have dates where you spend all day browsing clothing shops, especially thrift or vintage stores! riwoo makes sure to point out unique pieces or items with good silhouettes. he also thinks about layering and helps you pick items that go well together with your existing closet. he definitely considers durability as a priority—if the piece looks too flimsy, it’s not going home with you.

and if there’s something you really, really want but is out of your budget, he’d most likely buy it for you behind your back, then quietly gifts it to you before the day ends. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) he would buy items you’re both interested in, mostly accessories and outerwear, so you can share them!

🍧 couple items and coordinating outfits 🍧

rather than owning couple items, riwoo and you would borrow from each other's closets! you share accessories like scarves, necklaces, rings, hats, brooches, belts, and even glasses, as well as jackets or layering pieces like vests or button downs. at the rate you nab items from each other, you practically have a shared closet. as for coordinating outfits, riwoo thinks it’s a fun challenge to match your outfits based on materials and patterns! your outfits won’t look similar, but they’ll look like they come from the same collection. i'm sure you and riwoo have a highly popular, shared instagram where you post your looks—you'd definitely be considered a "power couple"!

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ jaehyun 

🍀 what style does he prefer? 🍀

i feel like jaehyun wouldn’t have any specific preference as to style, but i think he’d still like a well-dressed s/o! jaehyun would be fine with anything casual and comfortable—clothing that come to mind include cropped tees or button downs, baggy jeans, oversized varsity jackets, and chunky sneakers! but if you’d prefer something more feminine or dressy, he’ll be your #1 hype man ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) he thinks you look pretty in anything you wear because you’re you!

🐬 shopping with his s/o 🐬

jaehyun definitely likes to wander around, but he tries his best to stay Focused when you’re out shopping with him! he’s honest about whether something looks good on you or not. sometimes it results to petty arguments when you’re very insistent about buying a certain item he doesn’t like… but he’ll cave in when you give him your absolutely convincing puppy eyes ૮ ◕ ﻌ ◕ ა. it’ll be very obvious if he likes something—when you come out from the dressing room in a great outfit, he’ll look like he’s just seen his spouse in wedding attire for the first time, jaw drop and all ᰔᩚ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა. he’ll be so full of praise for you it gets a bit embarrassing when there are others in the fitting room area!

🍧 couple items and coordinating outfits 🍧

i strongly believe jaehyun is a sucker for obvious couple outfits or items—he wants everyone to know you belong to each other!!! ૮ ・ﻌ・აᯓᡣ𐭩 he’d definitely love matching jackets or hoodies, something that’ll be comfortable for the both of you! but he’ll also want to have matching necklaces for sure, something to remind you both of each other when you’re apart ₊˚⊹♡ similarly, jaehyun loves coordinating your outfits for special dates! like sungho, he’ll match your vibe for the day—if you’re going for a comfy look, he’ll follow suit; if you want to spend your day in baggy streetwear, he’ll do the same.

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ taesan 

🍀 what style does he prefer? 🍀

taesan would prefer someone with an opposite style from him, so he’d find a feminine style appealing and interesting! your style could be goth, alt, coquette, or even none of those—honestly, it doesn’t really matter to him. he thinks skirts are very pretty though, whether they be mini skirts with stockings, patterned midi skirts, or flowy maxi skirts.

taesan also likes how your nails are so perfect and meticulously done and considers getting his own nails painted. plus, he’s amazed at how you’re a master at your makeup routine and the amount of effort you put into it, so he watches makeup tutorials in his own time to surprise you by replicating your makeup routine on you (∩˃o˂∩)♡ he would also love taking fit pictures with you with a digicam, and he’d love snapping pictures of you as you pose along the street.

🐬 shopping with his s/o 🐬

taesan loves shopping with his s/o. it’s a time for him to observe his s/o’s preferences and what makes your face light up. when you see an item that makes you gasp in delight, he tries hard to hide a smile at your enthused reaction and silently takes note. he's pretty fashionable, so he’ll be reliable when you ask him for fashion advice! when you shop together, taesan will be honest about what suits you and what doesn’t. when you hold up an item that doesn’t look that nice, he’ll have that pensive look on his face if he’s not into it. he’ll help you look for alternatives when an item you want isn’t in stock. taesan also offers you tips on how to layer jewelry!

taesan is also the type to see an item he thinks would suit you and buy it for you. he ends up accumulating so much that it fills an entire box—when you ask him what he’s bought you so many clothes for, he turns red and shyly tells you how they reminded him of you… which makes you flustered and sooo happy (˶ ᵔ ̫ ᵔ ˶) ♡

🍧 couple items and coordinating outfits 🍧

taesan would secretly adore matching items. you bring it up in passing but are too nervous to directly initiate anything… (づ>/////<)♡ he's initially shy at the thought of it, but when he does his own research, he grows attached to the idea of having matching items with you, someone he dearly cares for. so one day, he gifts you with matching earrings while shyly mentioning he’d love to wear them together! from then on, you'd have fun looking for matching jewelry together.

like riwoo, he’d love to coordinate outfits based on materials and patterns. in particular, he’d love to coordinate a mix of knit, denim, leather, or plaid, typically in neutral/dark colors like off-white, gray, black, or dark red. still, the outfits wouldn’t look exactly the same and would leave room for you to experiment with your individual styles! 

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ leehan 

🍀 what style does he prefer? 🍀

i think leehan has no particular preference when it comes to fashion, anything goes really! he’s very supportive and content to see how happy you are with the clothes you wear. he wouldn’t mind anyone with a different style from him. at the very least, he’d want you to be comfortable and warm in your outfit. he brings bandaids, safety pins, and a little sewing kit around with him in case any accidents happen—he’d definitely trade his sneakers for yours if your feet start hurting in your shoes ૮ - ﻌ • ა  leehan saves every fit pic you send him and uses them as his wallpaper, and he'd take candid pics of you too and swoon at how cute and pretty and cool you are in your outfit.

🐬 shopping with his s/o 🐬

while he’s not particular about his s/o’s fashion, he’d want to be there while his s/o shops or chooses what outfit to wear for the day. leehan loves quality time with his s/o! but don’t rely on him for fashion advice or expect it to be a productive time; he thinks you look pretty in everything and will let you know. he’s so sincere about it too that you can’t even get mad at him.

but one thing leehan will be insistent about is you wearing fish or marine-themed clothing. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 he makes you fit the most atrocious fish-patterned polo that looks like something your granddad would wear and thinks you look hot. he sees this cap that goes “fish love me, women fear me” and full-on begs you to buy it. and you know what? you do—because how can you refuse the pleading of a pretty boy like leehan? (ㅅ´ ˘ `) he's just happy to see you dressed up in something he has an interest in.

🍧 couple items and coordinating outfits 🍧

leehan would definitely buy you matching alien plush keychains to attach to your bags or belt loops 👽⋆｡°✩ he’d feel giddy looking at your matching charms and how cute they look on you… it’s like you bring a part of him everywhere you go 🛸 and i stand by this—leehan would definitely have custom shirts printed for the both of you that say “i love fish and my s/o”. deep inside you’re embarrassed at how the design looks like it’s been shoddily done on microsoft powerpoint, but when leehan proudly admits he made it himself, you just shut up and wear it… anything for him i guess (๑>؂•̀๑)

something i’ve also observed is how in the bnd content online, leehan wears long sleeves almost all the time! so rather than have coordinating outfits, leehan would lend you his outerwear. he’s a man with a plan—but is veeeery sneaky about it. he accidentally “forgets” his sweaters at your place. he also lends you his jacket with the excuse of “adding layers” to your outfit (something he learned from you!!!). and somehow, his clothes make their way into your closet—you’re highly puzzled, but you’re not complaining (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡

🍎🍓🍊🍋🍐🍏🫐🍇

ᯓ★ networks: @onedoornet 

[violetbutterflix]

Kiss and make, kiss, kiss and make up

Character: Osamu Dazai.

Warnings: beast!dazai, dazai and reader are married, sub!dazai, dom!reader, make up sex, pegging, dazai cries and moans, mentions of multi verses and beast manga spoilers.

☆Being the wife of the Port Mafia boss has pros and cons, just like two sides of a coin. Sure, your husband is the richest and most feared man alive, and he can get you everything you desire without any problem. Just say the words, and they will be yours. However, it's not material possessions that your heart craves, but rather his presence.

The clock strikes two in the morning so quietly that nobody in the bedroom can hear it. You can hear your own breath as you lie on the bed, eagerly waiting for your husband's arrival. But nothing happens; the bedroom door knob remains closed and untouched on the other side. No sounds of footsteps approach. You bite your lip bitterly, thinking about the last time you saw him. The last time he was here with you—his arms around your waist, his mouth on yours, your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as you fell asleep on his body.

How many nights have you spent waiting for him to come back home, yearning for a warm embrace and kisses, only to be met with loneliness and disappointment? Every day, you wake up, hoping to see him, yet he’s never there. The other side of the bed is empty and cold. It has been a month of this pattern, and you haven’t seen him once. It makes you sick to your stomach. You reach for your phone, hoping for a new message from him, but there’s nothing. The last message you sent is still there, marked as ‘seen.’ You sigh; you can’t do this anymore.

—

“Osamu…” You called his name, the sound escaping your lips in a bittersweet way. The man in front of you smiled softly, waiting to hear what you had to say. His eyes are a dull, pure black, yet there is a light of hope at the bottom of them whenever you're around.

��Yes, bella?”

You take a long, deep breath before continuing, your eyes fixed on the table. You can’t look into his eyes at this moment. “I… I think we should take a break.”

Dazai drops the drink in his hand, and the glass shatters into pieces on the floor, creating a loud sound. You can feel his eyes on you, suffocating you with that silence. One second, two seconds, three seconds… Three long seconds pass, yet not a single word escapes his lips.

Your eyes glance up, and—gosh—you’ve never seen Dazai with that expression before. His pupils are dilated with disbelief, and his face carries a hurtful look, as if you’ve betrayed him again countless times. You—his world—seem to be destroyed all at once cruelly.

Dazai's lips part slightly, finally being able to speak. “Why?”

The simple yet painful question stabs at both of you, an unpleasant ache spreading through you as you try to explain your reasons. “I… I don’t feel like we should be together anymore. I’m tired. You don’t pay attention to me anymore. You've buried yourself in work for so long that you don’t care for me.”

A frown appears on his handsome face, disapproving of your accusation. If only you knew how much he cares about you-how much he loves you in every universe. How much he hates being the leader of a dangerous organization but he has no other choices. He does all of this for you.

“But that’s my job. Being a Port Mafia boss is never easy. I have my responsibilities—”

“Then what about your responsibility as a husband? What about me?”

“[Reader]…Please.”

The word 'please' from him sounds so desperate, something you’d never expect him to say. Desperately, he adds more, trying to please you so your sorrow will go away, like a hopeless little boy begging for forgiveness and redemption for his wrongdoing.

“I’ll do anything for you; I’ll give you the world. Just name your price, Bella. Please…”

“I only want my husband..I don’t need anything else.” You admit, which makes Dazai smile a little until he hears the next line.

“But since you said you’d do anything…” An idea suddenly runs through you—a risky plan that feels almost too good to ignore. This opportunity could be your one and only chance. How can you possibly let such an offer slip away? Before you realize it, the words are freed from your mind. “Then I want to peg you.”

A simple sentence from your pretty lips makes your husband pause. Dazai stares at you, his expression unsure and confused. He didn’t expect this from you on a Sunday night. Dinner is where you can talk about every topic in the world, but that so casually?

Oblivious to his confusion, your face remains serious. “I said what I said.”

“May I get to know why?”

“I just do. So…Please?”

Dazai hesitates a little. No, it's not because he doesn't want that, it's just he's not sure and he's not too fond of the idea. But he does want to make up for you for the time he has been gone, he can't bring himself to oppose you. So, he lets the ‘best’ of him agree.

—

Dazai finds himself beneath you, naked, just like the day he was born. His face buries against the pillow, gripping the bed sheet as he waits for you. A small kiss is planted on his dark hair as a finger slowly enters his hole to create a gasp from him. A sudden urge to tell you more grows inside him, yet he’s too prideful to admit it.

“Let me hear your pretty sounds, Osamu.” You whisper against his ear, continuing to finger him at a slow pace to test his patience.

A small moan slips out from his lips: “Ah…[Reader]...mph...”

At his cute and pathetic plea, you add another finger and then follow by another one to stretch his tight hole, causing his entire body to twitch. Dazai bites his lips to prevent any loud moans due to embarrassment, but fails. He has always been the one in control, but the sudden switch between you two and you're ruining him completely makes him feel surprisingly good.

Your fingers pump in and out at a faster and harder pace repeatedly, hitting the spot to make him squirm. Just before he hits his orgasm, you pull your fingers away. Dazai turns his head over his shoulder, whining and sulking. Before he can complain, you swiftly push your strap into him. He lets out a muffled yelp of surprise, his eyes widening in shock as the sudden force pushes him back onto the pillow. Your free hand grabs both of Dazai’s hands, gripping his wrists above his face as you move your hips back and forth, fucking him crazy like a wild, starved beast devouring its captured prey.

Your lips travel to his ear, biting on his earlobe as you eagerly thrust deep inside him while your hand drops down his chest, playing and rubbing his nipple. Your hips crash against Dazai’s ass, causing his moans to get louder between each thrust. Your hand switches to his other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the other one. His back arches at a perfect angle, plus his long legs are spread wide open for you to fuck him more and better.

After you’ve abused his sensitive nipples, your hand travels down to his cock. Your hand perfectly wraps around Dazai’s cock, caressing it before you mumble against his ear. “Such a good boy for me, taking my dick so well.” Your lips reach his shoulder, taking a bite of his pale skin as you rapidly stroking his dick.

Dazai’s head rolls back as he moans your name shamelessly over and over, as if you were the only thing his mind could think.

“You’re so beautiful like this. A beautiful mess because of me. Am I the only one gets to see you and fuck you like this?”

“F-fuck y-yes. Only my dear wife…ah…mph…gets to see me like this and fuck me as much as she wants.” Dazai curses; his eyes flutter close as he tries his best to speak between moans. The pleasure builds inside him more and more, filling him fully. “Gonna c-cum…I’m gonna cum…”

“Yeah? Cum for me, Samu. Let me hear you scream my name and how good my dick is.”

Tears are formed on his reddened cheeks when he cums on your hand, painting his stomach and up to his chest with hot, thick, creamy cum as he screams your name out loud so that it can wake up the neighbors. Your strap continues to enter deep inside him, and the way the harness rubs against your cunt this entire time is enough to make you cum as well. Dazai collapses straight into bed, breathing heavily after his afterglow.

Dazai turns his head over, looking at you affectionately with tears falling down the corners of his eyes. “I love you, [Reader], more than anything in this world. I’m sorry that I wasn’t around much. But I’ll try to spend more time with you. So please don't ever doubt my love for you ever again.

Your lips curl to a smile. “I know…I love you too, my dear husband.”

The way you call him ‘dear husband’ brings an indescribable feeling of happiness to his heart. In this cruel world, where his life is filled with darkness and misfortune, you are his only hope—the reason he cherishes his life and the one and only treasure he protects with all he has. He brings his hand to your pretty face, caressing your cheek before it moves down to your neck, pulling you close for a kiss. He kisses you as if it were the last day of his life, as if this were the final kiss you two would ever share.

[17unfinishedprojects]

Vintage Knitting/Crochet Patterns Masterlist

Recently, I’ve been getting really into more older styles of knit and crochet, and in my search for vintage patterns I’ve come across a ton of sites and articles that have been incredibly helpful to me, so I thought I’d share them all with you. The majority of these are free, and this post is still being updated as I find more. Hope you enjoy!

(p.s. most of the places you can get crochet patterns are in the ‘Misc.’ section bc most sites have both knit and crochet patterns)

Knitting:

vintageknittingpatternarchive.com

An archive featuring a variety of patterns from the 1920s-1980s

Pros:

Completely free

You can search by bust size, colorwork, yarn weight, decade, and clothing article

Also features some crochet patterns

Cons:

The site can be hard to navigate

vam.ac.uk

An article featuring a 15 clothing patterns from the 1940s

Pros:

Completely free

Cons:

Only has instructions for one size

sunnystitcher.gumroad.com

A collection of vintage knit clothing patterns from the 1930s-1970s

Pros:

A “name your own price” site, you can choose to pay $0 if you choose

Cons:

Not a lot of patterns

aranpatternarchive.com

A collection of vintage aran knitting patterns

Pros:

Completely free

Has a wide variety of patterns

Crochet:

antiquecrochetpatterns.com

An archive featuring a variety of vintage crochet patterns

Pros:

Completely free

A lot of home décor patterns

Cons:

Most of the clothing patterns are for babies and children

A lot of the patterns are currently unavailable due to the site being updated

Misc:

thevintagepatternfiles.blogspot.com

Pros:

Completely free

Has patterns in different languages, including Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Icelandic, and Russian

Has patterns dating back to the 1800s

You can search by size, clothing article, and decade

Cons:

The site can be a hard to navigate.

marymaxim.com

A collection of vintage knit/crochet patterns

Pros:

You can filter by pattern type and yarn weight

The patterns are relatively cheap, ranging from $0.99-$4.99

Cons:

No free patterns

You can’t filter by size

trove.nla.gov.au

A blog post featuring 2 vintage knit patterns and 1 vintage crochet pattern

Pros:

Completely free

Cons:

Patterns may be hard to read because they appear as old newspaper/magazine excerpts

antiquepatternlibrary.org

An archive featuring a variety of vintage knitting, crochet, embroidery, sewing, quilting, macrame, weaving, tapestry, and many more pattens.

Pros:

Completely free

Wide variety of patterns across many crafts

Cons:

Website has an older layout and can be hard to navigate

(p.p.s I didn’t put cons on a few of them bc I honestly didn’t find any. If you encounter any problems with any of these sites let me know and I will add that to the con list.)

(p.p.p.s. if you have any other websites you use for vintage patterns please share them I’m always in need of more)

[animasola86]

Lessons in Love-Making

Notes: So I received an amazing request recently and this is what I made of it! I hope you enjoy! (If you like to give me smut requests as well, please feel free to do so! My inbox is open!)

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!reader

Genre: Fluff/Smut

Warnings: NSFW! MDNI! Explicit sexual content! Assisted masturbation. Voice kink. Fingering. Sex. (Infidelity?)

Word count: 9.8k

Synopsis: To say you and your boyfriend have a poor sex life would be an understatement. One day after a particularly horrible experience, you find yourself crying in the hallway. And then Sebastian finds you, always eager to lend a hand.

Warning: It's smut time again! Yay! I mean, beware, there's some spice below the cut! Don't get it in your eyes!

-- can be read on AO3 too --

Lessons in Love-making

You are tense. So tense, your entire body is shaking. Gritting your teeth and clenching your hands into fists as you walk through the empty hallway, you are not surprised when the first tears roll down your cheeks. Because you are not just tense, you are frustrated. And you've been frustrated for quite a while now.

It always comes to you when you walk back to your common room, in that post-haze clarity, not that there had been any haze, there was fog, sure, perhaps a few lightning bolts and one clap of thunder, and the rain that should be soothing was just a little drizzle, if it came at all.

And if you had time to think of silly metaphors for your poor sex life, then it really wasn't that good apparently.

You let out a shuddering sigh and stop walking, too wound up to wipe at your wet cheeks. Too wound up to do anything and so you sink to the ground and just sit there, trying to ease your breathing and your drumming heart, trying to clear your head and not think of what has happened and what has been happening over the last months.

Soon you are so focused on creating your own personal pro and con list, that you shriek loudly when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder. You jump and hit your head against the wall behind you, looking up with wide eyes and your mouth open.

“Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.”

And just like that your mind is empty. His voice makes sure of that. And that smile. Yet all you do is stare, while the tears still stream down your face.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian asks as he settles down next to you on the floor.

You let out a sob and raise a hand to wipe at your tears, before you give him a shrug and half-hearted grunt of confirmation. He raises an eyebrow and watches you closely.

“What happened?” he inquires with that low voice that causes your tense body to shudder deeply.

You swallow and look away, unable to answer him right away. Even though he's been your friend for quite some time now and you've shared a lot of low and high points together and you know you can tell him anything, you feel embarrassed to address your frustration.

You feel him scooting closer and then his hand is on your knee. “Did he do something?” he asks and just the implication that your boyfriend could have done something bad to you makes you turn your head.

“No!” you say quickly, before you pause and let out a dry laugh. “That's the thing, really... he never does... anything...”

Sebastian tilts his head, frowning slightly as his dark eyes wander over your face. “He doesn't satisfy you, eh?” he then states and the brutal straight-forwardness of his words makes you wince.

You don't answer right away and that is probably answer enough. Sighing deeply, you look down at his hand on your knee, feeling his warm touch and how it affects you. And you shouldn't feel like this. Because you have a boyfriend and it is not Sebastian Sallow. You would add sadly, but in truth you are quite content with the boy that asked you to be his girlfriend almost six months ago.

You love talking to him, you feel safe in his presence, he makes you laugh and happy. But when it came to sex, he was really... bad. And for months you've just dealt with it, not complaining, just trying to be happy for him because apparently it was quite enough for his liking. And the sad truth is that you've accepted feeling unattended whenever he would find his release – and then fall asleep right after. You didn't even mind the pain any more, because quite frankly, it was the only thing you could count on whenever you would end up in bed with him.

Tonight has been especially bad, causing your ever-growing frustration to burst through the seams of your patience. And the tears that won't stop flowing are proof of that.

“Please don't mention this to anyone,” you whisper and wipe at your cheeks again. “It... it really is not that big a deal...”

“Are you sure about that?” Sebastian asks and gently grabs your chin to make you look at him. “This does look like a big deal to me...”

You shake your head and his hand away, sobbing quietly. “I'm just frustrated and it's okay, it'll pass, like always. It's silly, really, crying over something like that...”

“It's not, you have needs too. Everyone has. And you shouldn't just be his plaything...” he tells you quietly, his voice vibrating through your very core.

“I'm not! You know he's not like that...” you start defending your boyfriend once more.

The boy next to you watches you closely. “Perhaps you want to be his plaything, but he just doesn't comply.”

“Stop saying plaything, it's vulgar!” you hiss.

He laughs, the sound ringing in your ears. “I can be more blunt, don't worry,” he says and nudges your knee before he leans away and crosses his arms behind his head. “So why don't you take care of your frustration yourself?” he then whispers, his eyes on you.

You stare at him, a little puzzled, before it dawns on you what he means. Averting your eyes, you blush deeply. “I... uh, tried, but it wasn't for me...” you admit eventually under your breath. “It doesn't feel right...”

“Then you may have done it wrong,” he says and leans closer again.

Swallowing hard, you raise your gaze and meet his. “I think I know my body and what it... wants...”

“Do you though?” he asks with a sly smirk.

“Well, of course, it's my body!”

“But then why are you crying in the hallway because your sorry excuse for a boyfriend can't satisfy you the way you like it, hm?”

His words hang in the air, luckily only reaching your ears, and you look at him long and hard. The longer you stare into those dark eyes that practically sparkle in mischief, the hotter you feel, your cheeks positively aflame as they burn your tears right off your skin.

“I can help you,” he then says quietly, and the implication alone makes you lean back from him.

“What? No! I... I have --”

“Yes, I know what you have,” he sighs and tilts his head. “And I'm not saying you should cheat on him with me, okay? I just want to... show you something. Help you out. Fight that frustration with you. Make you feel better.”

His promises sink into your mind and leave you wanting exactly that. You know how good he is at manipulating you, not that you would call it that, he was just very convincing. Persuasive even. And this was for your own good, wasn't it? Like he said, you have needs too. And as you wipe at your burning eyes, you find yourself inhaling deeply, before you nod shortly.

When you look at him, you see his face lighting up, the faint shadow of dimples gracing his freckled cheeks. “Of course this will be purely educational,” he tells you with a wink as he gets to his feet and holds his hand out for you to grab.

When you do and he pulls you into a standing position as well, you bite your lip and square your shoulders. “Of course,” you agree.

*

“So tell me what you usually do with him,” Sebastian asks as you sit down on that old couch in the far back of the dimly lit Undercroft.

You feel embarrassed, but then you sigh. “Well, we sit on his bed and then we... kiss and that's quite nice,” you start, already defending your boyfriend again, almost unconsciously. “And he would touch me...”

“Where?” the boy next to you inquires.

You look at your hands in your lap. “He usually gropes my breasts, sometimes my hips,” you whisper, before you look at him and he nods to make you continue. “Then he'd lie on top of me --”

“Are you naked when he does that?” You wince slightly at the bluntness of his question and look away again.

“No,” you admit, your ears burning. “He... doesn't like being naked...”

Sebastian laughs loudly at that, before clearing his throat. “I'm sorry, I...” he says a little breathlessly, before he shakes his head. “So you just grope each other through your clothes? But you do have sex, right?”

You blush deeply once more and fidget with your fingers. “Well, yes, he would push my underwear off and... stick it in...”

You hear him stifle another noise of surprise or whatever you want to call that gurgle that escapes his throat and you start feeling a little more frustrated, but for a different reason. “And then what?” you hear him ask once he catches himself again.

“He'd...” You let out a groan. “Tell me again why it is necessary to share these things with you?” you ask and stare at him.

“Well I have to know what you already do know in order to teach you more,” he tells you with a smile. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ridicule your boyfriend, I'm sure he has other redeeming qualities...”

“He has!” you confirm with narrowed eyes. “That's why I put up with that, okay?”

He raises his eyebrows, then nods. “I see. So, please, continue, tell me what exactly he does that leaves you so frustrated.”

You sigh and inhale deeply. “Well, he... comes very quickly. He's barely in there before he... grunts, pulls out and comes all over my stomach...”

“He doesn't even finish inside?” Sebastian exclaims in surprise.

“Because he shouldn't!” you reply a little more agitated than you've expected.

“Why not? You do take those contraceptive potions, don't you?” He tilts his head, looking genuinely concerned now.

“Yes, I do, all the girls do, we are basically forced to. Nurse Blainey makes sure of that...” you whisper.

“But then why doesn't he come inside you?” he asks as if you were talking about what to eat for breakfast and he was really appalled by your choice of cereal.

You take a sharp breath and look away. “I don't know, he probably doesn't like it...”

“I bet he never even tried...” you hear him whisper. “Trust me, it's the best feeling...”

You swallow and look at him. His smile is both boyishly charming and devilishly sultry. “So you know your stuff, eh?” you whisper under your breath.

He laughs. “I do, love,” he says with a wink. “And I'm going to teach you a thing or two. If you let me,” he adds quietly.

You are intrigued, certainly. And you've already shared all those embarrassing things with him. Talking about more couldn't possibly hurt, right?

But you haven't taken into account that Sebastian Sallow was more for learning by doing than anything, so you suddenly find yourself sitting sideways on the couch, your legs lying on his lap as he gently pushes your skirt up to reveal your underwear. Biting your lip, you watch him.

“So how would you normally touch yourself?” he asks as he looks into your eyes, making it sound so easy and simple as if he wanted to know your favourite colour.

You blush and look down, moving your hand between your legs slowly. “I'd... rub right here...” you whisper and put your middle finger against the thick fabric of your bloomers, lightly teasing your heated skin.

“No skin contact?” You shake your head and he huffs quietly. “Love, you have to give your body room to breathe, let the air caress your skin, put your fingers right in there, properly feel yourself. May I?” he then asks and you look up in surprise when he gently grabs your hand.

You nod hesitantly and watch how he moves your hand against your centre, repeating the motion you just made, guided by his slender fingers pressing against yours. “Remember this feeling, okay?” He then grabs the waistband of your underwear with his free hand and without hesitation pushes your hand beneath the fabric until you feel your fingers gliding over your hot, wet skin.

You gasp and almost jerk your hand away if he wouldn't hold it. You can feel not only your fingers, but his as well, as he presses your hand firmer against your skin. “How does that feel?” he whispers and his voice alone makes you issue a tiny whimper.

Taking a shuddering breath, you feel him letting go of your hand, before he puts his fingers around the waistband of your underwear and in a swift and unexpected motion pushes it down your hips and off your rear and legs, and you barely even noticed him raising your body for that. Too shocked about his brash action to fully react to it, you instead focus on your hand resting on your exposed mound, your fingers teasing at your folds. Your first instinct is to cover yourself with your other hand, but you hear him shushing you softly.

His hand is lying on your thigh now, his touch warm and somewhat comforting. You bite your lip and look at him. With a smile he tells you: “Come on, don't be shy, touch yourself.”

Oddly enough you don't feel shy at all in his presence, a little taken aback maybe, but not shy. And so you start moving your finger over your skin, exploratively, literally testing the waters as you let it slide over your lower lips and then between them. After just a few rubs, you feel your breath accelerating.

“You might want to move your finger a little higher,” he whispers, his voice not only helping you calm down under the unusual task he's given you, but also helping you in other ways that are quite the opposite of relaxing.

You follow his advise and move your fingertip higher until you feel the little nub that causes your stomach to tense slightly when you touch it. You breathe loudly through your nose as you push your finger against it and start rubbing slow circles around it. Closing your eyes you focus on the sensation, until you feel a warm breath near your ear.

“That's it, keep doing that,” Sebastian whispers right into your ear after he has leaned closer to you, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your thigh. You open your mouth slightly and take a shuddering breath. “Feels good, right?” he continues, his voice causing goosebumps to ripple over your skin like waves. That or the steady movement of your finger. You feel your hips stuttering slightly, your thighs twitching with every push against that agitated bundle of nerves.

“Oh yes...” you moan softly and lean your head back, chewing on your lips as you work your finger against yourself. You feel a familiar tension, yet somehow it feels different, more intense, and you move harder and faster against that nub. As your body starts shaking badly, almost spasming, you feel his hand pressing on your thigh as if to calm you, or hold you in place, and in your desire to finally finish this you grab it with your free hand and close your fingers around his.

He holds onto your hand tightly and even scoots closer to you, lifting and parting your legs slightly as he does so, and then wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Almost there, love,” he whispers and you whimper under the sound of his voice, your eyes squeezed shut as you lean against him, furiously rubbing yourself. “You're doing so well,” he adds and his praise is what pushes you right over the edge.

You buck your hips and cling to his hand as you feel the coil that had been sitting in your stomach for so long, unattended and so tightly twisted it was almost painful, suddenly explode into a blindingly bright light. You gasp and cry out, your legs twitching as your toes curl up and you feel the blood rushing through your head while you hold your breath under the unknown feeling of your release.

As you slowly come down from your high, your fingers shaking against your heated skin, you feel him stroking your arm and squeezing your hand. “Well done,” he whispers and you feel his lips brushing against your hair. You are breathing heavily and when you open your eyes, you see him smiling at you. Your cheeks are flushed, your lips parted and trembling. You feel as if you've just run up several staircases.

“Was that your first orgasm?” he then asks and you just look at him, taking in his face, until the cold reality of the situation comes back to you. Blinking slowly, you squirm against him, but he holds you tightly, not letting you go.

“I... I shouldn't have --” you mutter under your breath, quickly looking away again, biting your lip.

“Oh you definitely should have, that was long overdue apparently,” he says quietly, shifting beneath you until he pulls you right onto his lap. You lean your shoulder against his chest and slowly look at him, fighting the embarrassment. “Don't be ashamed,” he whispers as he tilts his head, his dark eyes on you. “That was beautiful to witness.”

His words do the exact opposite of what he has intended, they don't reassure you, they make it worse. You look away with a hoarse groan, chewing nervously on your lips as you clamp your hands to your core and clench your thighs around them, too shaken still to think about just covering yourself with your skirt.

“Do you feel a little better at least?”

“A little,” you confess quietly.

“I'm sure there's more where that came from,” he then whispers, his lips right against your ear and you flinch and turn your head towards him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean?” you ask innocently, truly innocently because you just don't know any better.

He smirks at you. “You know, love, unlike men, who need a little time to gather themselves, women are capable of experiencing multiple orgasms in quick succession,” he explains almost matter-of-factly and you listen with blushed cheeks but growing interest. “Do you want to test that theory?”

You stare at him and lick your lips, still feeling the distant shudders of your last release, but you know he's right. You've been tense for so long, never able to let it all out, so why stop now? The harm is already done, you tell yourself and try not to think of the details of experiencing this whole thing with another boy while your boyfriend is probably fast asleep and happy about what you'd done earlier.

“Yes,” you tell Sebastian quietly and watch him smile wider at you. Without any warning, he then grabs your shoulders and turns you around until your back is pressed against his chest and you sit with your legs wide open astride on his lap, facing the vast space of the Undercroft.

“You can put your feet on the couch if you want, but keep those legs open, okay?” he whispers, his breath hitting your ear as he leans his head around slightly. You shift on top of him and gasp softly when he snakes his arms under yours and around your torso, grabbing the fabric of your skirt to ball it up more and push it out of the way.

“I can... take it off...” you mumble under your breath.

“If you want to,” he says and lets go of it.

You stand up then and suddenly feel your legs shaking beneath you. He quickly grabs your waist to support you and you inhale deeply to gather yourself. With shaking fingers you unclasp your skirt and push it off your hips until it drops to your feet. Stepping out of it, you then settle back on his lap and put your feet up like he told you to. You can feel the soft fabric of his trousers and slightly more as you shift your rear against him to find a comfortable position.

His hands now roam freely all the way to your legs, his thumbs teasing at your inner thighs. “I can assume you've never had a finger inside you?” he whispers against you and you feel a shiver run down your spine.

“Isn't it enough to have a --” Weirdly enough you can't say it, can't name it. You feel your cheeks blush even more.

“The word is cock, darling,” he tells you in that sultry voice that masks the vulgarity of his words so well. “Or dick or whatever you want to call it,” he adds with a chuckle. “Don't be afraid to name it. It won't bite. It's there for your pleasure, you know?” You squirm and make a low noise of embarrassment. He only chuckles again. “And you know, no, it's not enough to have a cock in your pussy. It is certainly the main goal, but there are so many other things you can use to pleasure yourself. Like your fingers,” he concludes and you feel your ears burning when you listen to him. He talks about these things so easily, it's almost impressive if it wouldn't be so lewd.

As you still chew on his words, he suddenly grabs your hand and guides it between your legs, his fingers on yours as he presses them against your folds that feel warm and wet under your touch. You inhale sharply and bite your lip. Feeling him rest his chin on your shoulder, his cheek rubbing against yours, you look down and watch him move your hand up and down your mound, teasing at your clit, pressing into your slit until you feel your fingertip pushing against your entrance.

“Give it a try,” he tells you quietly and just the sound of his voice makes you close your eyes and take a deep breath, before you tease your fingertip into your hole.

It feels so tight and you suddenly know why it hurts every time your overeager boyfriend presses his thing (still can't even think about it) into you without warning or preparation. You feel Sebastian moving his fingers back to close around your wrist as he guides your hand further, pushing your finger deeper. You shudder at the sensation.

“How does it feel?” he asks and you feel the vibrations of his voice more than you hear his words.

“Weird,” you reply quietly as your finger scrapes over your soft wet flesh. “So... squishy...”

He chuckles. “That makes it so desirable, love,” he whispers and you feel him turn his head and brush his lips against your jaw. “It can be soft and welcoming, but then it can clench and tighten and really squeeze...” He inhales deeply, almost longingly, when all you can do is focus on his voice and the sensation that causes inside you.

And you knew then that it wasn't your finger inside you that made your stomach tense, it was the timbre of his voice, those low vibrations, the way he pronounced certain words, those low and high notes of his speech, and that combined with his lewd words was just irresistible to you. A soft moan escapes you as you shift slightly against him, pressing your back into his chest.

“Keep talking,” you whisper as you move your finger a little faster against your flesh. “Please...”

He seems to pause at your request, then you feel a warm exhale against your cheek as he breathes a throaty laugh. “You like my voice, huh?” he concludes and all you can do is nod. “That's new. Have you always --” He pauses again. “Are you honestly jerking off to my voice right now?” he asks and you blush and bite your lip, but you don't stop moving your finger against yourself.

He laughs softly and tightens his grip on your wrist as he helps you with that motion. “Try adding another finger,” he tells you, his lips brushing against your ear and you shiver deeply. You comply and slip your index finger in with your middle finger, slightly stretching your entrance as you do so. Another moan escapes you. “Push as deep as you can,” he continues in a low whisper that resonates through your entire body. You do what he says and you don't even flinch at the wet squelching sound you create with your movements. “In and out, that's right,” he comments on what you're doing. “Go a little faster, really move those digits. The more friction the better, love.”

You feel your heart pounding inside your chest as you work your hand against your folds, your fingers slipping in and out fast and hard and you can feel your walls clenching around them, certainly reacting to your touch. Your breaths become shallow and you feel your wrist hurting from him holding it and you moving your hand so much, but you keep going.

“Now put your thumb on your clit,” he whispers, seemingly watching you follow his every word. “Pump those fingers and press against your clit and I bet it'll feel even better...” And it does and you almost flinch off his lap if he wouldn't hold you as you feel your thighs twitching when you start rubbing the sensitive nub with every rapid pump motion of your fingers.

You lean your head back against him, breathing louder and harder, your whole body shuddering under the sensation. “You're so good at this,” he tells you and you feel even better. “And I wonder why you never did this before, you're a natural.”

“You... you're... helping...” you whimper breathlessly. You hear him chuckle and then his lips press against your ear.

“Am I?” he whispers with his voice so deep and low that you can only moan more. “And I could tell you anything? And you would still find it... sexy? Hmm,” he hums and you almost lose it right there and then. “Hmm, okay, so, did you know --”

But you never heard whatever he wanted to tell you as your entire body shuddered all over again. You arch your back against him as you buck your hips off his lap and really push your feet into the cushions of the couch when you feel that awful knot tensing up painfully once more before it breaks free with such a force that you let out a cry of pleasure that echoes loudly through the Undercroft. While your hips stutter, you feel something warm and wet coating your hand as you finally still your movements and even press your thighs together before you curl up on his lap, shaking uncontrollably under your release.

He holds you in his arms as you shake and whimper, gently cooing in your ear, and you feel completely spent and very, very happy as you lean against him, smiling tiredly as your eyelids flutter open.

“That was powerful...” he whispers as he meets your eyes with a smirk. “Well done. You even squirted, I'm impressed,” he tells you and you frown at his words, before you loosen your legs and open them once more, only to see a large wet stain on his green trousers.

Despite the sensation still rushing through your body, you basically jump off his lap and hide your face in nothing but pure humiliation as you stand awkwardly in front of the couch, your release still dripping down your legs as you shift on them shakily. “No! Oh no, I'm... I'm so sorry... I didn't --”

He is with you immediately, pulling you into a tight hug and holding you against him. “Shh, it's alright! Don't worry about it! It's completely natural,” he whispers, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “And I can clean that up, no problem. Don't be ashamed! Be proud!”

You issue a strangled noise and bury your burning face in his shirt, your hands clawing at the back of it. It takes you a moment to recover and you feel even sillier over how you've reacted to your mess. “Sorry,” you mumble once more and he shushes you once more.

He even grabs your shoulders and leans you back, looking at you with a serious expression that stuns you for a moment. “Don't apologize,” he whispers and tilts his head. “I wanted you to feel good about yourself, and didn't you feel good just now?”

You swallow and nod almost a little timidly, chewing on your lip.

Sebastian smiles at you. “Then focus on that,” he says and you feel his hands moving down your arms until they hold your waist and pull you closer to him. “And I'm sure you want to feel good again, don't you?”

You take a shuddering breath, unsure if you do. But then he leads you back to the couch, sits down and pulls you onto his soiled lap. You shift a little uncomfortably as he pulls his arms around you and presses your shoulder into his chest. You look at him a little conflicted.

“Hey, cheer up!” he says with a smirk and kisses the top of your head. “And tell me... what do you think about toys?” You frown when he goes back to the topic right away as if nothing has happened. He mistakes your facial expression for confusion and adds: “You know, those phallic things that imitate the real deal? Or other toys you can stuff your pussy with?”

His lewd words make you shiver in slight discomfort and yet they also cause the heat to pool back between your legs immediately. “Haven't thought about those before,” you reply shyly, even though you hold his dark gaze.

“Want to test them out?”

“Do you have stuff like that?” you ask in earnest and surprise, before he chuckles and makes you frown again.

“I'm a wizard, love, I can conjure you anything you desire,” he says with a wink and you blush deeply.

“Perhaps... another time,” you reply eventually. “I... I think I'm good for tonight.”

He watches you closely. “Are you sure? Are you completely frustration-free?”

You consider his question, your eyes wandering over his freckled face. While he waits for your answer, you go back in time and think about your friendship with him. This was still a friendship, right? You have shared so many things, the good and the bad, the worst even, and you were always there for each other. But you have never been this intimate. You've hugged and he's kissed your head a couple of times, tonight included, and he didn't shy away from holding your hand or touching you (appropriately), but you never did the things lovers would do.

And somehow you still didn't consider what has happened tonight to be something like that. He had just helped you, assisted you in relieving the tension that's been troubling you for so long. He's never touched you (inappropriately) himself and you know he wouldn't do that without your permission. And even if the thought of pleasuring yourself right in front of him was still a little daunting to you, you haven't felt too awkward about it because he has made you feel so at ease.

Sitting comfortably on his lap, leaning against his chest, looking into his dark eyes, you suddenly wonder about something else and despite not really wanting to go down that road right now, you just can't shake the thought. So you voice it. “Sebastian?”

“Yes?” he replies, watching you patiently, a gentle smile playing around his lips.

“Why... aren't you my boyfriend?” you ask quietly and for the first time tonight you see him blush. He quickly clears his throat and laughs it off, shaking his head.

“Yes, love, why am I not your boyfriend?” he teases and nudges your shoulder playfully. “Take a guess.”

“Because I chose him or because he was faster in asking me?” you whisper.

You see him clenching his jaw, before he gives you one of his carefree smirks – that you know he uses to hide his deeper thoughts behind. “Both? Honestly, I am happy when you are happy and if you're happy with him --” He pauses then, watching you closely with the smirk slowly fading. “Are you happy with him? If I learned one thing about your beloved boyfriend tonight, it's that he seems to neglect you pretty horribly.”

You inhale sharply. “No, he doesn't! He's really sweet, he just doesn't know any better...” you quickly fall back into defending him.

“And apparently he's unwilling to learn either. Or do you guys just not talk about these things?” he says quietly, his tone a tad too serious for your liking. When you avert your gaze and bite your lip, he exhales loudly. “Of course you don't talk about it! Darling, you have to talk to him if you want to have a better experience! The times are changing, you don't have to take them like they come, you can fight against them, make them better!”

“It's really not that important...” you start quietly, even though you want to agree with him. But some things are always easier said than done.

“Really? It was important enough for you to get so frustrated that you ended up crying in the hallway! I bet he wouldn't like to see you crying either. Talk to him!” he insists, his arms tightening slightly around you. “Or shall I talk to him?”

“No!” you exclaim immediately, staring at him with wide eyes. “Please don't! I --” When you see his smirk, you groan and hit his chest playfully. “Don't even joke about it, okay? He can never find out what... happened here tonight...”

“You know your secrets are safe with me, stop worrying so much!” he says gently and raises a hand to push a strand of your hair out of your forehead. “What we have is special, isn't it? I wouldn't want to jeopardise that.”

“Me neither,” you agree, your eyes boring into his. “Sebastian, I... I want to thank you...” you then start, shifting nervously on his lap.

“No need, love, it's quite alright. I'm always here for you,” he replies, but you shake your head.

“I mean it, let me thank you,” you whisper urgently and he raises an eyebrow.

“What were you thinking of?” he asks then, sounding quite interested in how you want to thank him.

You lick your lips and lean closer until your lips are brushing against his ear for a change. “I...” You blush deeply and inhale sharply, before you lean back and look at him once more. “Listen, don't take this the wrong way. I mean, we've already crossed some lines today, right? So...” Taking another deep breath, you return to whisper into his ear: “I want you to come inside me.”

He grabs your shoulders and stares at you, his lips parted and his eyes wide. “What did you just say?”

You fight the heat overtaking your face and hold your breath when you look at him. “You heard me,” you say and chew on your lips.

“I'm not so sure, to be honest...” he replies quietly, frowning deeply. “Sounded to me as if you --”

“Listen!” You inhale deeply, before you pummel him with your words. “You said it's the best feeling, right? And quite frankly, I want to experience that too for once. So this might also be a selfish request, but also a way of saying thank you for your help tonight...” Staring at him breathlessly, you blink slowly. “What do you say?”

He raises his eyebrows and watches you for a moment, unusually quiet. “Are you sure about this? That would be a major line to cross...” he whispers eventually.

“See it as a service between friends,” you explain with a shy smile.

You see him working his jaw as he looks away slowly, his eyes moving over your exposed legs. His hand moves down to your lower back, teasing under the hem of your shirt, before he lowers it to gently caress the curves of your bare rear. “And we'll still be friends afterwards? Promise?”

You tilt your head. “Of course! Why wouldn't we?”

“What if... that changes things?” he asks quietly, still not looking at you.

“Look at me,” you tell him and reluctantly, he does. “No, really, look at me! I just came all over your blasted trousers! That should have changed things, but it didn't! Not for me. We've been through so much, Sebastian. I think our friendship, or whatever you want to call this, can handle anything!”

He watches you closely, your words slowly bringing the smirk back onto his lips. But you're not done yet.

“And you know? It's only fair that I see you come undone as well, don't you think?” you whisper and smile at him, and despite your confident words and eager attempts to convince him to do that with you, you feel your cheeks burning and your stomach tensing up in anticipation. You might also be dripping onto his trousers some more, but you really don't care any more.

“I suppose,” he replies quietly and you see the tip of his tongue moving over his bottom lip. He smirks wider when he notices where your eyes have wandered. “And you wouldn't consider that cheating? You'd be sleeping with another guy...”

“There will be absolutely no sleeping, okay? Don't you dare fall asleep on me as well! I wouldn't be able to handle it,” you tell him with a hearty laugh.

He chuckles, but you can see a dark shadow crossing his eyes. “No falling asleep, I promise.”

Your eyes move over his face. “You want to do this with me, right? I wouldn't want to... force you or anything.”

His laugh is genuine this time. “You find me a teenage guy who wouldn't want to be forced to have sex!” he says, then clears his throat. “I mean, ugh, you know what I mean!” You see him rolling his eyes as he blushes deeply and you chuckle softly while you raise a hand to rub at his red cheek.

“I want you to feel good too,” you whisper.

“I appreciate that,” he replies, before he tilts his head. “You know, we never even properly kissed and now you expect me to put my cock inside your pussy? That's quite the step we'd be making...”

You almost choke on your own spit when you hear his blunt words before you try to laugh off your shock. “Well... we can also do the steps in between, if it makes you feel better...”

“Well, if I have to,” he mocks your tone and smirks at you, while he extends a hand to cup your face, his long fingers moving into your hair as his thumb caresses your cheek. “Do you want me to kiss you?” he then asks quietly, leaning a little closer.

You look at him, inhaling deeply. “Yes,” you reply without hesitation.

For a moment you just look at each other, each of you weighing the consequences of what is about to happen. But all that flies out the window, or at least your head, when he leans in and presses his lips to yours, gently, softly, testing the waters, and when you kiss him back, he tightens the grip on your face and pulls you towards him, his lips closing around yours eagerly.

You've often imagined kissing Sebastian, or at least for a long while, and you've seen him kissing other girls, but feeling his warm mouth on yours now, with his lips moving confidently against your own and his tongue cheekily slipping into your mouth feels like nothing you could have ever imagined. You are so absorbed in the sensation that you barely notice shifting on his lap until you straddle him, your chest pressed to his as you lean against him, your arms wrapped around his neck as you deepen the kiss almost hungrily.

His hands move down to your hips and even further, and when he starts kneading the soft flesh of your rear, you moan softly into his mouth. He leans back then, watching you out of dark eyes, and you draw a much needed breath. “You really want this?” he whispers equally breathless. You nod and already lean in once more, your lips brushing over his, but he leans back again. “You really want --” You see him clenching his jaw. “You really want me to come inside you?” he says barely audible and you smile at his sudden shyness, or whatever you want to call this kind of hesitation you've certainly never seen from him before.

“Yes,” you breathe against him, your hands finding his face as you hold it firmly. “I want it all. I want you!”

His gaze becomes harder for a moment. “What if I want you too?” he then asks darkly.

You tilt your head and frown, licking your swollen lips. “What do you mean? You have me, right here.”

“What if I... wanted more?” His voice is low, but in a way that causes cold shivers instead of pleasant ones to rush down your spine.

“What are you saying?”

He inhales deeply and then shakes his head, giving you one of his smirks. “Never mind. Forget I said anything,” he then brushes it off and leans in once more to kiss you quickly.

Your turn to lean away. “Sebastian...”

He sighs loudly. “Sorry, I shouldn't have --” You see him closing his eyes for a moment and working his jaw. “This is a service between friends. We are friends, nothing more. You have a boyfriend and I'm just here to help you out when he is too incompetent to treat you right!” He exhales then, leaning his head back against the couch, and rolls his eyes. “Sorry, I mean... I just...” He issues a groan and stays silent.

You grab his face and look at him. He avoids your gaze. “Do you want me to break up with him?” you then ask as straight forward as possible.

His eyes find yours. “I would never ask that of you,” he tells you and even though he sounds sincere, you know better.

“That's not my question,” you whisper.

“Why do you press this so much? Let's just fuck and get it over with!” he grimaces darkly and sits up straighter again, grabbing your waist. “Or not, if you don't want any more because I ruined the mood or something...”

You sigh and roll your shoulders, your thumbs grazing over his cheeks. “Tell me to break up with him,” you say quietly and watch his eyes go wider.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You don't mean it,” he says quietly, eyeing you closely.

“What if I do? We could do this all the time, without having to hide anything...” you whisper, licking your lips.

“I thought you love him...”

“I love talking to him, spending time with him. The sex, if you want to call it that, was just a... necessity...” you tell him and scoff.

He watches you with dark eyes, his face hard. “What if he doesn't want to talk to you any more... afterwards?”

“His loss,” you say surprisingly indifferently. “I enjoy his presence, but I enjoy yours more,” you tell him with a warm smile.

You see him opening his mouth, ready to say something, make it better or worse, but instead he pushes his lips against yours as he grabs the back of your head and pulls you towards him. You gasp, but quickly lean into the kiss that is much more passionate than before. His words still echo inside your head despite the static trying to push them away and you wonder what if...

He never actually said it, you realize, if he wanted you to break up with your boyfriend, and even though you've seen the signs, you can't be sure. And quite frankly, you are a little apprehensive about making rash decisions while you're still battling your frustrations and basking in the sensations another boy has invoked in you and it wouldn't be fair to -- When you feel Sebastian's tongue pressing against yours demandingly, you focus back on the kiss and for a moment you truly forget about everything.

Your fingers dig into his hair, another thing you've always wanted to do, and you even start grinding your pelvis against him as you kiss him breathlessly. He groans quietly against you, the sound so low and deep it immediately causes a reaction deep within your gut. You grip his hair and wrestle his tongue hungrily, your heart pounding inside your chest. His hands are on your hips, just holding you, but his grip is tight and almost possessive, definitely bruising your skin.

With the last of your willpower (or the urge to breathe) you lean back then and watch him out of half-lidded eyes. “Do you... still want to stick your cock into me?” you ask, blushing from your own whispered words, but also no longer caring about etiquette. He's certainly had a bad influence on you.

Yet he seems just as surprised as you are and issues a short laugh. “Yes,” he eventually says back, breathlessly and with his eyes sparkling mischievously. You smile at him and scoot back on his lap a little as he pushes a hand between your bodies and fumbles with the buttons of his trousers. Watching him eagerly as he finally frees his arousal, you can't help but stare at it for a moment. “You can touch it if you want,” you hear him whisper with a chuckle.

When you look up into his face, you lick your lips and smirk. “I have a better idea,” you whisper back and shift on his lap once more, grabbing his shoulders to pull yourself as close to him as possible before you start moving your pelvis against him, feeling your wet folds sliding over his length as you grind against him slowly.

He immediately gives you the desired reaction and moans deeply, watching you with his eyebrows raised and his lips parted. “Good... idea...” he mutters breathlessly and grabs your waist to assist you in your movements. Together you move in a slow rhythm and you quickly feel your legs shaking and your core burning in pleasure.

Throwing your head back, you gasp and moan softly, before you close your eyes and lean into the sensation. You feel him gripping you tighter, his noises vibrating through you deliciously, before he suddenly grabs the back of your head and pulls your head towards him. Your mouths collide with a smack and after a desperate kiss, he rests his forehead against yours and breathes heavily against your lips. “You wanted me... to come inside you, right?” he whispers deeply.

You open your eyes and look at him, your vision blurry. “Yes...”

“Then please, take me inside already,” he says with a low chuckle. You watch him closely and realize that you are on top and he even confirms your suspicions. “This is your night, love, move at your own pace. Use me as your plaything,” he adds with a smirk.

You lick your lips and try to ignore his word choice for now. Inhaling deeply, you sit back on your knees and look down at his eagerly waiting cock. It's glistening from your slick and those veins bulge quite aesthetically and when you close your hand carefully around his shaft, you give them a light squeeze that causes another moan to fall from his lips.

With another reassuring look into his dark eyes, you lift yourself up and position his precum coated tip against your entrance. Watching you with heavy breaths, he gently massages your waist. Suddenly you feel a little nervous, not about doing it with him or because you think he might not fit, but because you've never been on top, you've never been in charge like this. He seems to sense your worries and reaches one of his hands up and grabs your face, gently caressing your cheek.

“You can do this,” he whispers and it's the sound of his voice that makes you start moving. “Yes, just lower yourself... slowly...” he comments and you bite your lip as you listen to him, your body doing the rest for you. He groans deeply when you feel his tip slipping past your entrance. “You're so tight...” he mutters, inhaling sharply.

You let out a moan and hold onto his shoulders with both hands after you let go of his cock as it slowly disappears inside you. You feel him moving further and further, deeper and deeper, filling you more and more, and the feeling is so new and foreign to you that you feel a deep shudder rushing through your entire body. A little whimper escapes you when you finally bury all of him inside you, and you are both impressed and terrified at the thought.

Breathing heavier, you settle on top of him, your fingers clawing at his shoulders as you try to adjust to his invasion and the sheer length and girth of him. You find him watching you equally breathlessly, his lips trembling slightly and his cheeks redder than you've ever seen them before. You lean in then and try to kiss him, but the motion causes you to move against him and you let out a wince when you feel him pushing so deep he's certainly poking something he probably shouldn't.

He doesn't seem to mind and finishes what you started as he grabs the back of your neck and pulls you closer, kissing you deeply as you let out another gasp. “Does it hurt?” he whispers into your mouth, but you shake your head.

“No, it's just... so new...” you confess and he grimaces darkly before he kisses you again. “But it feels so good...” you add and kiss the corner of his mouth as he gives you another smirk. “Having you all the way in there...” You inhale deeply and bite your lip. “Feels perfect...”

He moves his fingers into your hair and chuckles. “You just wait till we move together,” he whispers and pulls your mouth closer once more. You kiss him hungrily and wait for him to do what he just said, but he doesn't. When you lean back to look at him, he smiles. “I'm your plaything, use me however you like,” he says again, his voice low and sultry.

You chew on your tingling lips, before you grab his shoulders tighter and start leaning up on your knees, slowly raising your rear, feeling your walls clench around his length as if they don't want to part from it. He leans deeper into the couch and watches you, his hands letting go of you to rest on the back of the lumpy furniture piece. He truly lets you do all the work.

And you give your best as you keep moving up, before you move back down with a smack, coaxing a cry and a gasp out of your own throat and a deep moan out of him when he plunges back into you all the way. “Careful,” you hear him whisper with a smirk. “Ease into it,” he tells you and you nod, repeating the motion but a little more deliberate as you move back down on him.

Slowly you find your rhythm and he even starts assisting you as he puts his hands on your waist after all and guides you up and down. Your breaths are shallow and you feel your legs shaking under the exertion, but you keep going, your eyes on his face the entire time. His gaze is just as dark as yours. “Tell me... how it feels,” you whisper in between issuing moan after moan.

He exhales loudly through his nose as he smiles darkly at you. “Amazing,” he groans quietly. “You're so warm and tight... and how deep you can take me feels incredible...” His voice helps you in moving slightly faster now as you feel your insides tightening around him greedily. “Oh yes, you move those hips, love,” he breathes. “Just like that... you really are a natural...”

You bite your lip and move your hand to grab the back of his neck as you place your other hand on his chest, riding him faster and harder with every rapid heartbeat. The slapping of skin against skin and the squeaking of the old couch echo in your ears and fuel your desire to do anything to get that extra bit of friction, that extra scratch you need so badly as you grind your hips, feeling him stretching your walls and moving against those sweet spots. You moan louder and for once you don't care who can hear you.

All you care about is your pleasure and it feels so good and refreshing to have someone allow you to chase it. Even though he seems to really struggle beneath you, his fingers digging into your skin almost painfully as he grunts and groans while you moan and whimper. “Are... are you... close?” you ask, your voice strained and shaking from your continuous motions as you move your entire body against him.

He lets out a deeper grunt and you see him squeeze his eyes shut. “You... first...” is all he utters. You lean closer then, your arms wrapping around his neck as you press your chest against his. Your lips brush over his as you start moving your rear up and down as fast as you can, really leaning into it, and you hear him groan louder and faster as he too wraps his arms around you and holds you close.

You almost lose it right there and then when he starts pushing his hips upwards against you, mirroring your movements and doubling the sensation. Moaning right into his ear as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, you feel your walls clenching more and more despite the rapid movement of his cock sliding in and out of you as he fucks you open relentlessly. Your whimpers grow louder and you cling onto him as if your life depended on it.

“Please,” you hear him whisper hoarsely. “Come for me...”

You move faster, the heat almost unbearable now, and as you hold onto him and he holds onto you, you feel your muscles contracting, your insides convulsing, that sweet tension building and building, and when it finally burst into an explosion of tiny little lights, you cry out loudly, arching your back and sinking your fingernails into his shirt, gasping for air, before you collapse against him, breathlessly and spent, your limbs twitching and your heart ready to jump out of your chest.

Yet he keeps moving his hips against you even faster, the sound of your bodies connecting an obscenely wet one, the couch creaks beneath you, and his groans become louder and louder, until he shudders against you, his arms tightening around you to the point where you can barely breathe, and when he pushes your body hard onto his lap, burying his entire length as deeply as possible, he grunts and stills his movements, and you feel him twitching inside you, before something warm and wet fills you up as he mindlessly pumps his load into you.

You whimper softly as you lean against him, completely exhausted and yet so satisfied like you have never felt before. For a moment, none of you move, it's only the last tremors of your orgasms causing your limbs to twitch occasionally, before you hear him breathing heavily into your neck as he pushes his lips against your damp skin and kisses it lazily. “You're amazing...” he hums and you shudder deeply at the sound and sensation. “That was... amazing...”

You move your shaking fingers into his hair and gently caress his scalp, your breaths still shallow but not as frantic any more. “You... too...” you whisper quietly. “Thank you...”

He chuckles softly at that, his voice hoarse and strained as he speaks. “No, thank you. It really is the best feeling, you know?” He shifts beneath you and you gasp softly as he pushes his hips upwards once more. “Can you feel it? How warm and cosy it feels?” You nod your head, hoping he'll notice it. “I almost want to stay like that forever,” he continues quietly, his breath ghosting your ear, causing goosebumps to ripple over your heated skin. “You're the perfect fit...”

You breathe against him, fighting the thoughts pushing through your cloudy mind. Before you can help it, you feel a tear dropping from your lashes and a sob falling from your lips.

“Are you alright?” he asks immediately, loosening his grip on your body, but you keep clinging onto him, not wanting to face him right now. “Does it hurt? Shall I pull out?”

“No,” you say firmly. “I'm okay, don't move...” You feel him rubbing your back soothingly, his touch warm and comforting, and yet it causes more tears to roll down your cheeks. “I wish we --”

Suddenly he presses his lips against your ear, his breath hot on your skin and his voice vibrating through your head so intensely, it stops any ongoing thoughts instantly. “Please break up with him,” he whispers.

It's these words and his low voice and the need behind it that makes you lean back eventually. Ignoring the slight jab of pain as you shift on top of him, you look at him and his face is as flushed as yours feels. His eyes are dark, yet pleading, his lips parted and trembling. You reach out a hand to caress his cheek and push a wild strand of his messy hair out of his forehead, before you lean in and gently press your lips to his.

You'd be a fool if you'd ignore his request now. It wasn't just the amazing sex and all those moments before, it was the promise behind his words to treat you like this for as long as you'd let him. And how could you ever say no to those puppy-dog eyes? You chuckle at the thought and lean back, meeting his puzzled gaze. “I will,” you then tell him, as simple as that, and his reaction couldn't warm your heart more.

The smile spreads over his entire face, making those dimples pop and his eyes sparkle, and then he wraps his arms tighter around you, pulls you against him once more and kisses the side of your face with a happy chuckle. You laugh against him, relishing the warmth that courses through your entire body. And you know from that moment forwards that you need him to come inside you every blasted time.

Because it truly is the best feeling.

End notes: Breeding kink activated! He's converted another one!

And speaking of kink: that voice kink, right? Confession time: I cannot stop listening to Sebastian saying "forgotten", the way he pronounces that word is just *chef's kiss* to me! (I have it bookmarked, see link above... And even though it's the scene where he's angry with us, I cannot help but melt away at the sound of it XD)

On another note: With Kinktober over, what are we calling November? Because uh, no, I will not participate in No-Nut-November, excuse me? Our boy can't handle that! So Smutvember? Lovember?

While I wrote this I was imagining who that useless but sweet boyfriend would be - and while I have some ideas, I'd like to hear yours! Who do you think would be a great guy to talk to, but would be utterly useless in bed?

MASTERLIST - KINKTOBER - AO3

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Tips: A Book in 30 Days

Should I Try It? Take the “why not?” approach. You may just like it. The pros far outweigh the cons. The most compelling reason to go for it is that you’ll finally put your thoughts on paper. You’ll have something tangible to polish and make shine.

Schedule a time to write.

Maybe you can only carve out two hours on the weekdays and then write all day on the weekends. Be realistic with your time.

Outline your novel ahead of time.

Writing from an outline is so much easier. You’ll be able to depend on the structure of an outline to keep you on track.

Here are some Writing Templates & Worksheets that may guide you. Choose which one is most appropriate for you. You may also consider editing your chosen template—add or remove parts to create your own personalised outline.

Give yourself a daily word allowance.

How many words can you realistically write in one day? For some, that’s around 2,000, while others can write up to 10,000 words in one day. But remember, it's okay if you don't hit your daily target. Simply continue the next day.

Set an ultimate word count goal.

Most novels are between 50,000 to 100,000 words. If you write 2,000 words every day, you’ll have 60,000 by the end of the month. If you’d like to hit the industry standard of 80,000 words, go for around 2,700 words a day. Again, remember, it's okay if you don't hit your target. But setting your own writing goal at the beginning of the month can serve as motivation.

Don’t edit as you go.

Turn off that nagging internal editing that will only slow you down.

Take a break at the end of your writing.

You’re going to be stressed out from writing so much, so give yourself a much needed and deserved break. For instance, return to your novel after a few days, or a week, then start editing.

Go easy on yourself.

When you read what you’ve written, a lot of it may not be salvageable. But hopefully, you have the beginnings of an amazing novel. Try not to be too critical, and look for the diamonds in the rough.

Source ⚜ Resources to Help you Write your 30-day Book: Notes & References Plot ⚜ Character ⚜ Worldbuilding ⚜ Writing Basics ⚜ Tips & Advice

[utopya-cc]

Preview) Passionate Gifts| Functinal Designer Bag

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well! I have some exciting things to share and show you🤩!

✨This is one of the most exciting updates that I have made. There is more to it than what you saw in the preview video. The video covers just the animation; there are a lot of other features!

Basically, the update will have a whole new mod! So please Try to read the full post. Don't skip to the download page; there are some important things to know before Downloading it and using it,

The New Animation:

Let's start with the animations. This interaction has multiple animations that they may play each time you perform it. (just some small cute variation to the main animation)

One major new thing with this interaction is that it's staring from the back. Your sims will come from the back to give the gifts.

The Pros are: I think it looks great, I think coming from the back adds to The intimacy and surprise element of giving gifts, But the Cons are the game interactions are all face to face, so doing it like this isn't the best and the smoothest way to do it,

The New Designer Bag Gift:

The Designer Bag will cost your sim $1500 Simoleons ( I think it's well worth it; more on it later in this post!). The new interaction is located in the passionate gift pie menu under the romance category, with its own Custom Icons.

There are 12 in total swatches/brands that you can get. I will show you some of them now and let you explore the others.

I first planned to make it into a one-box gift, and then you can change the swatch by build buy, but it was a little bit inconvenience for the gameplay, and I didn't like it that much,

So I had to push it a little bit further, and thankfully, I did manage to figure out how to add all of them (it was one of the main reasons that extended the release date),

So now, every time you give the gift, your sims may give and receive one of 12 different Designer Bags. Each bag has its own Package Box, and the gift will change depending on each swatch. So, basically, there are twelve new gifts in this update.

You can still change the swatch by build-buy, but I think it is more fun to let your sim choose. I have also added a small mechanic to lower the chance of giving Duplicate swatches if you already have that bag in your sim inventory.

(I just want to mention that I added a surprise animation when they see the prize tag! It's just a small detail that I thought it would look cute 👇) 

The Interaction Outcome:

After performing the interaction, your sim will receive the Designer Bag and its own custom Package Box. Also, your sim will receive some Buffs and moodlets for both the target and the actor,

As I said, each bag Has its own custom package box. You can sell it for 20§ or decorate your house with it. It can also work as a pedestal for your bag. I have added a slot to it so you can put stuff on it:

The Fully Functional Bag:

Now, let's start with some more exciting stuff. The bag is fully functional🤩! You can wear it and rename it. It is also live draggable, so you can live-drag it whenever you want, and it comes with its own inventory.

First of all, how do you wear it? You can easily do that from your sim inventory! Just click on it and click on (Wear). You can wear it with any outfit you like!!

It will be shown in the queued interaction on the left side of the running interactions. You can remove it by canceling the interaction.

While you are wearing it, you can't access the bag; you have to remove it first, and then you can access it or live drag it.

By wearing the bag, your sim will get a confident Buff.

Also, wearing the bag will slow the decay of some of your sim needs. My idea behind that is that wearing a bag makes youre sim more organized and less likely to get tired.The modifiers aren't that crazy; I think with them, it's just more fun to remember to wear it before going on a walk or to the coffee shop.

I have also added some buffs to other sims around you. For example, they may be amazed by seeing your sim wearing a Designer brand, and your partner may feel flirty if they see your sim wearing their gift.

The bag is Live draggable; you can drag it anywhere you want and open it. Each bag will have its own separate inventory, which can store almost anything and help organize your sim's inventory better.

The bag will be fully functional. I am planning on some existing features for it, and I will post some sneak peeks soon, so keep an eye out for that.

There are twelve Bags for your sim to have. I mean, I can imagine that Wealthy Sims will have at least two or three bags, so I have added the (add-to favorites options); you can do that while the bag is on your Sims inventory, so you can keep track of youre favorite used bag while carrying multiple ones for your different Outfits. And you can also rename them!

Of course, you can also collect all of them just to fill and decorate your Sims' closet. So, I have kept the option of buying it from Build Buy. Most of the bag's features will work, minus some gift-related ones.

To access the bag inventory, You have to place or live-drag it first; you can't open it from the inventory.

Showering or sleeping will remove the bag automatically. (I am blacklisting the interaction where youre sim removes the bag by hand, so if I have missed something, let me know)

The sim who receives the Designer Bag Gift Will automatically be the owner Of that Bag,

DOWNLOAD:

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #42

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.7k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

The first time you've stepped into the apartment, you could notice the lingering smell of take-away in the air. Chinese, you'd guess while taking off your boots. To be honest, it had been your way of not focusing on the person standing in the same room while watching you. The smell of food hasn't been the only thing lingering in the air, you're sure you could smell the awkwardness and tension in it too from the moment you've stepped through the front door.

You've never been here before. You've always hung out at your place, knowing there won't be anyone disturbing you. And there hasn't been the right time for you to come over and meet Haneul's roommates, since one of them has always been here and this place had been barely empty and free of his nosy roommates.

But it's different now. There is a complete silence in here and it feels like it's just the two of you. You and Haneul.

After Jungkook drove you home, you found another message from Haneul suggesting you could meet the next day, saying he can come over or you can come over, not forgetting to add there won't be anyone at his place. You thought about it – weighing the pros and cons of the unavoidable situation and conversation you're about to have. If you were doing this at your place, you'd probably feel more comfortable because you're home. But if anything goes downhill, it's always better to leave than to be the person who has to kick someone out. You'd like to avoid that and that's why you've agreed to come meet Haneul at his place.

It's not very different from what you've imagined it to look like. There are random things laying on the floor, not necessarily a mess. There are three skateboards – two in the entryway and one in the living room, leaned against the wall. A few clothes are just laying here and there as Haneul curses silently at his roommates while he takes the clothes and tosses them into one of the rooms.

"I'm sorry about the mess." he tells you as he finally joins you and sits on the opposite side from you, who's sitting on the couch, while he sits on a chair that's angled towards you.

You finally take the courage to look him in the eyes, feeling a slight pang in your chest at the sight of him. You're not sure what's the cause of it. Whether it's the bags under his eyes and clear sight of him being tired, or his soft features that you've always admired but then you're reminded what happened and what he said that it all fades away. You don't know.

There's a still fresh bruise on his cheek and jaw, looking way worse than Jungkook's knuckles. The bruise being a reminder of what happened too. It looks painful, Jungkook definitely didn't go easy on him with that punch.

The only thing that feels right is for you to clear your throat and sit straight, features clear out of any emotions. "I didn't come here to see if you and your roommates clean this place," You almost don't recognize your voice – how cold and stern you sound. "I came here to talk about us."

Haneul is surprised, you can see it from the way his eyes slightly widen as he slowly nods. "Of course." he murmurs, awkwardly shifting on his spot.

He just sits there, not sure what to say and you just wish he'd take the lead, but you both have a lot to say. Taking matters into your own hands, you clear your throat again as you focus your eyes on the game controller for a minute.

"Okay, I'll start," you say, not wanting to beat around the bush. "I'm sorry it ended this way, I wasn't planning on that to happen. But you need to know that one of the things I planned, was telling you about me and Jungkook,"

You see the way he tenses at the mention of Jungkook, the topic clearly still sensitive.

"As much as I've tried to understand your point of view, and I think I understood some of it... I think you need to try and understand me too. We've been dating for a month. What happened between me and Jungkook is such an intimate and personal topic, I don't go around and tell everyone my private business. I know you're my boyfriend, or was I don't even know--"

"I am, I didn't break up with you." he cuts you off with a slight frown, not really liking how you suspect him of not being your boyfriend.

"Listen to me," you scold him through clenched teeth and he shuts his mouth immediately. "I know you as my boyfriend deserve to know about this. I wanted to tell you once I was hundred percent sure about us. Don't be mad at me, but dating someone for one month isn't a long time. I didn't feel comfortable telling you about it and I feel even more uncomfortable to know I wasn't the one telling you and that you didn't hear it from me. I've a right to feel uncomfortable talking about such an intimate and private thing, you've to realize this happened before I even met you. I didn't cheat on you, I didn't lie to you and I was planning on telling you. Some part of me knew once you'd know about me and Jungkook, you would see him and us in a different light and I was right,"

You take a deep breath, looking around for a few seconds before you continue.

"I wanted you to see me and Jungkook as friends, I knew the truth could and would eventually mess up your perspective. I wanted you to understand our friendship which I knew from the start wouldn't be easy. Me and Jungkook have always been close, whether you like it or not. Way before we had our deal. But it hasn't affected us the way you probably think it has. I can't blame you for that, at least not that much. There are a lot of people who just don't get us just because we're a woman and a man. They didn't get us way before our deal happened and they don't get us after,"

You realize there's a certain sexual tension between you and Jungkook. Your dreams and own mind is reminding you that often, but it doesn't happen to the point you'd even consider something more. The two of you have your own lives, even though you're involved in each other's life very much.

"I understand it must be uncomfortable for you to know about us. To suddenly question our every interaction and see something more behind it, but it's not like that. I know you've been questioning our friendship and some part of me understands that too. But what I told you about our friendship with Jungkook is a complete truth, I warned you we're close and I asked you to trust me. You told me you trust me."

"I trusted you," he speaks up, frowning a little. "I trusted you and then I found out you slept with him."

"Slept with him before I even knew you and we were both single. With whom I slept with before our relationship is technically none of your business." you snap, taking a deep breath to calm down yourself.

"But he's not just anyone. He's your best friend, someone you hang out with almost every day, you're in touch with him every day."

"I get that, I know it's weird but this is where the trust comes. You sound jealous."

He scoffs at that, looking away which just proves your assumptions. He is jealous.

"So what?" He finally admits it. "What's so wrong with being jealous after finding out my girlfriend used to sleep with her best friend?"

You scoff at that, shaking your head. "Because I told you to trust me and that there's no reason to be jealous. If me and Jungkook wanted to date, we'd do that a long time ago."

He stares at you, a frown slowly fading away as he lets his thoughts take over for a moment before his features soften.

You're not sure how to feel about this. About him. You've barely started and you feel even more conflicted with each second. One second you look at him and are just reminded of all the good times you shared with him, even though there haven't been that many but you remember that feeling of excitement – how excited you were to spend more time with him, to let your relationship grow. And you just want to go up to him and cuddle him, be close to him again.

But the other second you're reminded of the mess that's been created, how much he hurt you. As much as you think you're not innocent in this, you're definitely not the bad guy here either.

"Alright, I was insecure too," he admits, letting out a shaky breath. "After finding out about you two, I was just reminded of how good you get along. And Jungkook is... well, he's him and I can't possibly compete with that."

"You don't have to compete with anyone, Haneul," you remind him, also understanding that this is where his insecurity is coming from. "Jungkook is amazing but I chose to date you for a reason. Jungkook is completely in love with his girlfriend."

"Yeah... but... I felt like an asshole there. I was so embarrassed in front of everyone."

"Not everyone knew, I'm not sure how many people know about it but I guess everyone probably knows by now. Thanks to the scene you caused," You don't mean to sound so accusatory but you can't help it, the bitter feelings are coming back.

His scowl is prominent and you know he doesn't like you accusing him of it being his fault.

"I wish you'd handle things more maturely. We should've talked about it, sit down like adults and discuss it and even though I understand you needed a space, you didn't have to leave so suddenly and leave me there practically without anything, not knowing what will happen with us."

"I told you I'm not breaking up with you." he remarks.

"Yeah, after I asked you because you were too immature to talk to me like an adult," you bark, "But I've been understanding about that too,"

Now it's your turn to glare at him, making sure he sees the way your features turn cold and angry.

"What I don't understand is, how dare you to slut-shame me? You did it in front of everyone but even if you didn't, how dare you do that?"

Haneul gulps at your suddenly loud and angry tone, opening his mouth before he closes it again.

"How dare you bring Jimin and Taehyung into this? How dare you assume I slept with them?"

"Y/N..."

"You hurt me, you made me so embarrassed and mad for saying that," You hate how shaky your voice is starting to sound, but you need to say this. If you don't, you know you'd just regret it later. "I thought I knew you but you completely shocked me. That wasn't like you at all. Or maybe I never knew the real you. One month is a short time to get to know someone perfectly, isn't it?" Chuckling bitterly, you shake your head at yourself for having so much trust in him.

"No, Y/N... please, it's me. I'm sorry, I was just mad and hurt too. I didn't mean it."

"You don't slut-shame someone just because you're mad and hurt!" you exclaim, voice cracking as you feel your eyes getting watery. Oh, get it together Y/N. "That was the last drop."

"W-what does this mean? You don't want to be with me?" It's almost funny how scared he suddenly seems to be at that thought. When you were the one crying and begging him to stay to talk it out with you, he left like a coward. But you still had excuses for him. He's just mad, hurt and heartbroken by the news. And then he said what he said.

Up until now, you've been a little conflicted about how your relationship will end up. That's why you wanted to meet him and see for yourself how you feel about him, about the two of you. But the more you talk and the more you've him in front of you makes your decision more clear. Nothing is final yet though.

"Tell me Haneul," you start, ignoring his question. "If I told you and you knew it from me... would you react differently? Be honest."

You're not sure if he will be honest with you. He could easily lie to you and tell you that yes, he'd act differently. You see him looking at you with those brown eyes, his lips settling downwards as he slowly shakes his head.

"I don't think so, no," At least he is honest which makes you nod appreciatively. "I'd still be insecure and jealous. Mad and hurt..." he trails off. "Listen Y/N, I'm so sorry for reacting the way I did. I'm sorry for saying... slut-shaming you." He winces at the mention of that.

"Sorry doesn't cut it for me." you snap at him, giving him another glare as he sighs, scratching his cheek but wincing immediately when he realized he scratched the bruised one.

"It's a start, I've to apologize. I know it doesn't change what I said. Like you said, I should've been more mature, I should've talked to you about it but at that moment it felt like something impossible. And with my grandma... I just felt like I needed to leave,"

You're not sure if he purposely brought his poor and sick grandmother into this, but you're not about to find out. There are more important things to be dealt with.

"I got a punch I deserved."

"You definitely deserved that," you snap, "If I wasn't so shocked, I'd slap you instead."

"You can slap me now." he proposes innocently, causing you to roll your eyes as you dismiss him with a wave of your hand.

"I probably should but you already look like you're in a lot of pain, deserved pain." you comment sassily, scoffing a little as you cross your arms over your chest and glance at him.

"I can show you how much I'm sorry, if you gave me another chance." he almost whispers, sounding too insecure and almost scared to propose that. A little part of you maybe feels bad for him, you are not going easy with that glare on him. You know you probably look crazy and intimidating.

"I'm not sure if I can..." you murmur, glancing down at your lap as you start fiddling with your fingers but not before you notice the way a real fear crosses his face. He realizes that he's losing you.

"Isn't a relationship about compromises?"

You frown, "What are you talking about?"

"We should be more understanding to each other, I should trust you more, I'm sorry I didn't. I thought I did but... you know what I'm insecure about and I'm pretty sure we could change that too. We both need to make some compromises and sacrifices."

Sacrifices? And then it hits you...

"Jungkook," you whisper, Haneul slowly nodding. "What does he have to do with this?" you frown, seeing Haneul sigh.

"Do you think any guy will be completely understanding towards your relationship with him?" He raises his brow, surprising you by his audacity as you're ready to lash out at him but before you can do that, he's already continuing. "No man will ever understand that you're so close to another man, closer in ways you're not with your own boyfriend, whether that's me or someone else."

That definitely hits a sensitive spot and even though he doesn't sound completely bitter, keeping his voice nonchalant and honest, it still irks you and makes you glare at him even more, practically making you fuming.

"You're asking me to choose between you and Jungkook?" you ask lowly, giving him another chance to think about his answer before he says it as you glare the hell out of him.

However, he doesn't look too bothered by your evident anger.

"I'm talking about a certain boundary between you and him."

He can't be serious.

"You're asking me to change my friendship with him?" you exclaim, staring in disbelief at him and you grip the edges of the beige couch tightly. "Not happening." you snap.

"See? You're not even willing to work this out," he exclaims, "I'm just asking you to be respectful towards me and keep a boundary between you and him. You're too close to him."

"You're crazy," you breathe out, standing up which surprises him because he does the same. "You're so insecure and jealous that you don't even see what I've been talking about. I'm not changing anything about me because this is irrelevant to our problem. You're insecure, it's your problem."

"That's not fair, Y/N and you know it."

"You know what? Maybe if things were different, I'd be able to think about it. But I know why you're saying all of this and you'd constantly have a problem with something, with anything that has to do with Jungkook. I'm not sacrificing my friendship with Jungkook for an unhealthy relationship, for someone who slut-shamed me and disrespected me like that. Maybe I made a mistake, even though I know I had a right not wanting to tell you so soon, but I definitely don't deserve someone treating me like that," you bark at him, your features twisting to a hurt and disgust.

"I deserve better. When I came here I didn't know what to expect, I spent two days trying to figure out how to solve this and thought about possible outcomes. But now that I'm here, now that I've talked to you... I just know I don't want to be with you, Haneul."

His mouth opens, eyes watering immediately as he shakes his head trying to get closer to you but you outstretch your arms to stop him. "Please, don't do this."

"Jungkook asked me if I love you. I told him I'd be able to, before any of this happened. It's too soon to talk about love anyway. But now I know, now I'm sure breaking up with you will be the best decision for both of us. It's not easy, trust me, it pains me too."

"Then don't leave me." he begs, trying to reason with those brown puppy eyes as you shake your head, surprised that you're already not crying.

"Don't put this on me Haneul," you laugh bitterly, "You were the one who left me."

"I-I was just-- I told you I needed some space."

"You were the one who made this decision for me, Haneul. From the moment you disrespected me by slut-shaming me, bringing my friends into this. I was just too naive to think that maybe there's a way to fix this. I wanted to see you to be sure, but deep down I knew."

"Y/N, come on. I love you!" he says hurriedly as if those three words would change anything and it does make you laugh a little.

"You don't love me," you disagree, "I'm just your first serious relationship. I'm your first in a lot of things and I know you'll find someone else. Whoever that is, treat them better. You're not a bad guy, Haneul."

"Then be with me!" he exclaims and you see the panic in his eyes. He's not making it very easy but you're already determined about your decision. It doesn't feel the most comfortable but you know it's the right one.

"We wouldn't work," you shake your head, giving him a pained smile as you brush past him. "Bye, Haneul."

He stands there, luckily does nothing to stop you because you're not sure how many more minutes you'd manage to be here. You're quick with putting on your boots and jacket, not waiting for him to properly say goodbye to you, you're not sure if he even wants to. So you open the door and get past them, closing them with a thud that must've alarmed him you already left. You feel slightly empty on your way downstairs to your car, not fully processing what has just happened and you don't plan on trying to do that.

You've to focus on the road and driving in your scrappy car. If something happened to you, Jungkook would be the first one to kill you.

It still hasn't totally come upon you. Not even after being almost for an hour home. Somewhere in the back of your mind, Haneul still lingers there and so does your conversation with him. You're trying to busy yourself by tidying your place, cursing at yourself for taking care of your clothes and unpacking all of your stuff once Jungkook drove you home. You had to distract yourself then too but now you definitely need it more.

Jungkook must be on his way to Seoul or is in Seoul by now. He texted you in the morning, checking on you very subtly which proved to be not as subtle because you could see right through him. He looked unsure once he parked in front of your apartment complex and helped you with your stuff upstairs.

"You sure you don't want anything to drink or eat?" you ask him once you see him getting out of your bathroom, after he went to use it. 

"Ah, no thanks," he answers, giving you an appreciative bunny smile as he scratches the back of his neck. 

He sees you sitting on your couch, suitcase laying in front of you fully opened as you start putting out your dirty and used clothes. You notice him standing there, remembering that he's probably waiting to say goodbye so he can drive back to the cabin.

"You sure you will be fine?"

As most of the time, he beats you before you can say or do something. Sighing, your shoulders slouch a little.

"Kook, I wanted to come here for a reason," you tell him, raising your brow at him but he just stands there standing at you expectantly. You know what he wants. "Yes, I'll be fine."

It's his turn to sigh, slowly making his way towards you as he sits next to you. You know as soon as he's out of that door, you'll be left alone with your thoughts and feelings. You could use some company but you're not stupid enough to say that to him, knowing he's willing to stay. It wouldn't be fair to him. He has a girlfriend he has to get back to. He has his stuff there too and it wouldn't make too much sense for him to stay here. Plus, you'd feel guilty for keeping him here.

There's no way Jungkook hears your thoughts but well, he's Jungkook and he's worried about you. That much can be told by the way he keeps watching you unsurely and hasn't left yet. 

"I can stay here for a bit," he proposes, ignoring the way your head snaps towards him and a little scowl makes its way on your face. "To keep you company."

"That's a stupid decision and you know it," you tell him, "Just go back, Kook. I'll be fine..."

The truth is, Jungkook would really like to stay over, to slouch lazily over your couch like many times before, and eat some junk food with you while watching some random movie. He's tired, not something he'd admit out loud knowing you'd scold the hell out of him. But he also knows he has to get back. He should get back but if you let him know you need him here, he'd work something out. So far, you look very determined on him leaving and he knows it's only for his own sake. Selfless as always, he thinks as he stares at you with a soft look.

"It's already dark outside and you still have a four hour long drive," You try to reason with him, seeing him nod but not seeing him moving from his spot. "Jeon, otherwise I'll kick you out."

"That's mean," he comments, chuckling when you do the same but give him that stern look. "Alright, but I'm one call away if you need someone to talk to."

"I know, you told me like a hundred times, so did Jimin and Tae."

"Pff, Jimin and Tae," he scoffs, playfully rolling his eyes. You know he's doing that to distract you, to make you laugh. "They're nothing compared to me." he jokes, standing up as you roll your eyes at him.

"If they heard you, they'd kick your ass." you point out, seeing him puff out his chest cockily.

"We all know I'd kick both of their asses easily."

"Alright, you macho man, your turn to leave," you laugh, ignoring the dramatic gasps he lets out. Reaching for your wallet, you pull out a cash and hand it to Jungkook who stares at your hand with a frown once he realizes you're handing him something. "For the gas."

He keeps frowning, touching your hand as you think he's taking it from you, already thinking this was easy but not until you realize he's done it to push your hand away. 

"Keep it," he tells you, "And my car is electric, it doesn't need gas."

You roll your eyes. You obviously knew that, how could you when he spent hours talking about it? It's his second love, right after Kiko of course. 

"You know what I mean," you mutter, "Just take it. You drove four hours here to drive me home and you're driving another four to get back. This is the least I can do for you."

Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head and pushing your hand away again when you try to hand him the money. "I said keep it,"

You ignore his deep and stern voice, insisting on him taking it as you keep shoving your hand and the money to his face. He grabs your wrist, scowling at you. His touch is not too tight, he's making sure he's not actually hurting you.

"Consider this as your Christmas present."

You let your hand fall as you groan at him. "That's stupid. You already gave me Christmas presents."

"So? Can't I spoil my best friend?" He cocks his brow at you, pursing his lips as you chuckle at him. 

"No, you can't--hey!" you exclaim when you're enveloped in a tight hug, Jungkook's arms tightly around your frame before he lets you go.

You barely recover from the sudden and surprise hug, seeing him walking away from you with his face turned to you as he waves at you. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Jeon!" you yell at him, groaning when you hear him putting on his boots and grabbing his jacket. "Drive safely!"

"Alright, mom!" You hear him yell from your entryway, making you snort.

"Idiot!" you yell at him, the laugh can be heard in your voice as you hear Jungkook snicker. 

"Brat!" he calls back.

The next thing you hear is your front door being closed, the laughter dying down as you realize you're by yourself just like you wanted. You're just not sure if that's really what you needed, especially when someone reminds you of themselves in a form of text. 

The memory from yesterday makes you smile a little, Lucifer episode running on your television while your thoughts are in another world. You focus on it for a moment, being interrupted by your phone chiming with a message notification which makes you glance at your phone that's tossed next to you. You flip it over to check the screen, not surprised when you see a message by Jungkook.

Kook: just came back 

Kook: are you at home?

Opening the message, you start typing.

"yeah"

You're not sure what else to type, so you just go along with this message as you send it. His message came right away and you knew he must've been waiting for your reply. You know he's checking on you again. He knew you've already talked to Haneul by now, you told him you're about to meet him around lunch time. Which reminds you that you've barely eaten since you came back home.

Kook: are you okay?

It's the same repetitive question he's been asking you for days now. It should get annoying by now but you can't bring yourself to feel annoyed, not when you appreciate him worrying this much about you. Jimin and Taehyung texted you too earlier, always reminding you that they're here for you.

Kook: how did it go?

You know he's careful but curious at the same time and honestly, you've no reason to lie. You bite on your lower lip, suddenly feeling sad when you replay today's events and read Jungkook's message. It's not his fault though, it's your emotions that are playing with you.

"I broke up with him" Is all you text, keeping it casual while ignoring the sudden pang in your chest.

What you can't ignore is the rush of emotions when Jungkook's name starts flashing on your screen, notifying you of your incoming call. He probably knows you're not that okay and decides to check it himself. With messages, you can easily type whatever you want but one word from you and he'll know how you truly feel.

You pick it up, sucking in breath as your teeth cage in your bottom lip. At this rate, it'll bleed soon.

"Y/N," Jungkook murmurs, voice worried and pitiful. "Come on talk to me." he tells you softly and that's the final straw.

You're not sure what comes over you but you start sobbing immediately. You've been relatively fine by now, probably because you caged in most of your emotions. But something about hearing Jungkook makes you sob, letting him hear you as you give him an answer at the same time.

"Aw, baby," he whines and you can clearly hear a pout in his voice.

You even cry at the pet name, knowing he doesn't mean it in the way he used to call you, but it's still enough to make you cry as you sniffle into the phone.

"I'm coming over, okay? Wait up for me." he tells you, not declining the call just yet, wanting to hear your answer.

You feel bad for him coming over when he barely made it home. But you can't be more empathic than that because all you can do is nod as you open your mouth.

"Okay."

And that's all that Jungkook needs to hang up, leaving you to your silent sobs that calm down slowly as you cuddle to your blanket. The TV show running on your television is just a white noise that you could care less about, your watery eyes blurring your vision anyway.

By the time you hear a set of soft yet rushed knocks, you've calmed down a little and your heart jumps at the sound. Jungkook is here, you think as you get out of your blanket that's been wrapped around your body as you stand up and make your way to the front door. You barely manage to open the door, met with Jungkook's doe eyes full of sadness before you're enveloped in a hug.

It's almost funny how that simple act makes you cry even more, face hidden in Jungkook's chest as he slowly guides you deeper into the room while he closes the front door with his foot. You feel his cheek pressed against the top of your head, arms hugging you tightly.

"Shhh, it's okay," he assures you, hearing you sniffle. You feel pathetic but oddly calm and at peace because you know you're not alone. Jungkook has a weird sense of comforting others, or maybe it's just you and the fact he's so close to you, being a person who you need most at times like these.

He slightly pulls away after a moment, his hands grasping your face as he gives you an empathic smile. "Let me just take off my shoes and jacket."

Nodding, you sniffle and wipe your cheeks from your tears while Jungkook quickly takes off his black boots and jacket. He neatly sets it to its place before he's grabbing you by your hand and pulling you into the living room, where he's met with a sight of a TV show running and a blanket that's messily crinkled on your couch. He leads you there, urging you to sit up as you're already leaning against him.

He hugs you, pulling you even closer as you start sobbing again while he rubs your back while the other hand caresses the back of your hair.

"Did he say something? Did he hurt you?" Jungkook asks after a moment of comforting you, voice growing alarmed but yet still cautious.

You shake your head, pulling away so you can look at him. His eyes find you immediately, hand brushing away a strand of hair falling onto your face.

"I just realized I don't want to be with him," you admit, your voice coming out weak and sad which makes Jungkook's eyes soften at the sound of it. "Is it stupid I'm crying over him? I mean... I've been dating him for a month only."

"Hey, that doesn't mean you can't be sad about your break-up. You still liked him." Jungkook points out lightly, wiping more tears off your cheeks.

"Yeah, I know," you whisper, "I'm glad we talked, I said things I wanted to say and I got to hear him out which made my decision easier."

"So it went all good?" he asks, reaching for the tissue pack as he pulls one out and hands it to you.

"Thanks," you mumble, embarrassingly emptying your runny nose from all that crying. You haven't been bawling your eyes that much but you've still cried more than you expected to. "I'm not sure good is the right word but it didn't go wrong either. It wasn't very comfortable but that's not surprising considering we were about to discuss all that has happened between us... I don't know. I wasn't as emotional, not until you called. I just bursted into tears after that."

You let out a chuckle that Jungkook quickly follows, chuckling with you as you toss your used tissue onto your coffee table.

"It's okay to cry it out, it doesn't matter how many months you were dating him. You've a right to be sad," he tells you, soothing your saddened heart which you appreciate. "Did you break-up because of us? Because of our deal?"

Now he sounds almost insecure, maybe even worried and guilty when he brings up that topic. You get it, if that was the case it'd mean Jungkook is somehow involved in it too and it's just consequences of your deal. But you don't see it that way. What you and Jungkook did is solely your decision, a decision you both agreed on and you don't regret it. Yes, maybe it did make Haneul's reaction worse but it's not Jungkook's fault.

"No," you say, "No, Kook, it's not because of our deal. It might've started with that but he was already suspicious of our friendship. He told me he was jealous and insecure. There were many reasons why I've decided to end it with him. The main reason is when he disrespected me, slut-shamed me,"

Jungkook mimics your face of anger as his brows automatically furrow into a deep scowl once you mention that.

"He'd react the same way, whether he knew about us from me or someone else. And then he basically made me choose between you and him. He wanted me to keep my distance from you."

"He did what?"

Okay, now he's mad.

"Yeah," you tell unsurely, looking at Jungkook who seems to have a puzzled look mixed with anger. "I called him crazy and basically told him to fuck off." you grin, Jungkook snorting at you.

"That's my girl," He brings you closer to him, cuddling you to himself as he squeezes you tightly causing you to groan. "My best friend kind of girl." he justifies when you poke him in his stomach and pull away.

"Yeah, yeah." you murmur as you wave your hand.

"Anyway, what are we watching?" Jungkook asks, eyes glancing at the television as you stare at him with a surprise.

Does he want to stay over? You don't mind it, you could use a company and not so surprisingly, Jungkook lifted up your mood. Yes, you were crying just a few minutes ago but him being here has helped you so much. At the same time, you don't want to hold him here just because you're going through a break-up. Today is the day he came home, he probably wasn't even able to unpack all of his stuff. It sounded as if he came straight here once he called you.

Jungkook notices your surprise and the underlying guilt on your face as you stare at him with a slightly opened mouth.

"What? Already wanting to get rid of me?"

You know he's just teasing you, silently telling you that he's fine with staying over and not leaving you alone. You don't want to spend the time pursuing him, that this is not something he has to do for your sake, his presence does feel good and you don't want him to leave. So, you're going to be a little selfish about this and not say anything about that.

"You know it's not like that..."

"Great, then do we watch this or something else?"

He dismisses you quickly, reaching for the TV controller as he gives you a grin before he makes himself comfortable next to you. Chuckling, you join him, silently pleading Jungkook to rub your back. He does roll his eyes at your request and mumbles something under his breath, but his hand still reaches for your back while you pleasantly hum.

Even though the actual holidays haven't even lasted that long, you find it slightly weird to come back to your usual life and routine that consists of adult and unnecessary things. Maybe it's because so many things have changed, things that were so different at the beginning of the holidays and now that it's ended, you're coming back to your usual life. But this time, things have changed.

Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin made it their mission to keep you occupied when they had the time, making sure you won't shed any more tears for Haneul and things that have happened between you two. Luckily, there were no tears and if it weren't for the period you got the day after you cried on Jungkook's shoulder, you're not even sure if you'd cry for Haneul at all.

Of course, it hurts you what happened even now when you think about it, and you know it won't go away with a snap of fingers. But you genuinely think it's more from disappointment and your expectation of your relationship with him. Therefore, there are no tears but still a slightly pained feeling in your chest when you think about him.

He hasn't contacted you ever since you walked out of his apartment, which you consider as a better way for you to cope with everything. You're not going to lie, you're actually glad he hasn't tried to fix things. Both of you know it's pointless and this way, you're saved from any other uncomfortable confrontation.

Deep in your thoughts and back to having your morning coffee in a break room before the real work starts, knowing you need that extra caffeine to get through the day, you almost spill it when someone bumps into you from your side.

"Oh, sorry," An automatic apology spills out of your mouth, fully realizing you've been blocking the coffee machine for a few minutes now while being in your own world.

As you look up before you make sure none of the coffee is spilled on your white blouse, you're immediately met with sharp eyes that glare at you.

"Oh, it's you." you let out, your tone dropping as he reaches for a clean cup and starts working on the machine until coffee starts slowly pouring into his cup. Watching him, you take in his appearance and weirdly enough, the scene before you is familiar and it's like nothing has changed.

Maybe it's one of his typical attire for work, black slacks and a casual shirt, but looking at him it doesn't feel like this is the first day after winter holidays.

He turns to you while his cup is still getting filled, lips curved in a tiny smirk.

"Missed me?"

"Not at all." you scoff, scrunching your nose right away as he stares at you amusingly.

You don't think you've ever met someone as annoying as Yoongi is. He really has a special talent for making you annoyed in a second, he doesn't even have to open his mouth. Just one look at his constant and typical smirk, smirk that basically laughs in your face, and you're ready to turn into Hulk. And you're very much aware that's what amuses him and makes him so cocky, knowing he annoys you this much and gets this kind of reaction from you, you just can't help it.

"Bitchy like always." he hums, not surprised by your earlier scoff and reaction.

"Asshole like always." Just like he has expected, you react in a heartbeat, not missing a chance to attack back.

The coffee machine turns off, letting him know his coffee is ready and he takes it, taking a cautious and tiny sip as he pleasantly hums before he stands next to you, leaning against the counter.

"How were the holidays?"

He doesn't even look at you as he asks it, looking ahead of him and at a few of co-workers which makes him miss the way your brows frown in a confusion. That's a huge change from calling you bitchy to asking you about your holidays, you think as you stare at him.

"Good, yours?" you ask shortly, not really minding this casual talk even though you're not sure if he really cares about your answer anyway. Usually everything he says has some ulterior motive.

"Good," Yoongi shrugs, taking a sip from his coffee again. "I spent it at home, safely away from everyone."

Your brows shoot up and the new information before a little snort leaves your mouth. "You spent it alone?"

He glances at you, sharp eyes glancing at you in confusion. "What's the look for? What's wrong with spending it alone?" he asks simply, although you catch onto his slightly defensive tone which makes you shrug.

"Nothing, it just sounds... lonely." you tell him, searching Yoongi's face for any kind of reaction but all he does is just grin amusingly.

"Chill out, I still had to spend Christmas with my parents," Somehow, he doesn't sound so pleased by that and you hold back your laugh when you see his unimpressed face at the mention of Christmas.

Yoongi isn't exactly the sharing type, that much you can tell even if you don't know that much about him. He doesn't talk about his personal life that much, even though you probably know the most about him out of everyone in this company working with you and him. He doesn't interact with others unless it's not something important and work related, or if it's not him having a great opportunity to annoy someone. And unfortunately, that someone is usually you.

Although, you'd lie if you didn't say you witnessed him having sarcastic comments aimed at someone that isn't you. It's usually what everyone thinks but it's kind of impolite to say out loud – well, not for Yoongi. You're still surprised why he hasn't been fired yet.

"How did you spend the holidays then?"

He doesn't sound interested but once it takes you a moment to answer, he raises his brow at you expectantly before you sigh and open your mouth. So, you tell him you spent Christmas back at home with your parents, purposely emphasizing the sweet tone when you talk about them which makes him roll his eyes. You fight the urge to burst out laughing at the face he makes. He knows you've done it purposely and you're glad you're annoying him just as he annoys you. You don't tell him any details, simply saying you spent New Year's Eve at a friend's cabin with your friends.

Thinking you've done a great job at being casual while talking about the trip that has changed so many things for you, you're easily mistaken because Yoongi glances at you and has this weird look on his face. He has caught onto something, you realize as you mentally curse.

"You don't look too pleased though." he comments, suspiciously narrowing his eyes at you.

"No, it was great." You try to assure him, even giving him a smile which you realize you're screwed the moment you see his raised brow.

"Uhm, and you're lying," he waves his hand carelessly, "So, spill it out. What happened?"

You and Yoongi are far from being friends, he's nothing like Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung. So you wonder... are you really like an open book? To be fair, you haven't been totally hiding your emotions even though your mouth and words have said something else. Yoongi is great at observing and he barely misses anything, so it shouldn't surprise you that he called you out on you, lying.

"Why should I tell you?" You don't beat around the bush, not seeing the point of trying to deny it.

"Hm, true but this day is already too boring, so be good and entertain me." he tells you casually, making your mouth open in disbelief as you scoff at him.

"I'm not here for your entertainment, Min." you remind him, sounding offended that he's just using you for his own entertainment. Obviously, you know he doesn't really care but at the same time, funnily enough, there have been times when the two of you had a civil conversation without dissing or annoying one another.

Still, you get slightly frustrated by him wanting you to entertain him.

"You're so boring, fine don't talk to me." he mutters, taking a sip from his coffee before he's about to turn around but you don't leave it just there. As usual.

"And you're annoying, but what's new?" you bite back, not hiding the rising anger in your voice. "Plus, I don't need you to laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh at you?" he asks, sounding confused as he stops in his tracks.

Raising your brow at him, you purse your lips. Is he seriously asking that? Him that takes every opportunity to laugh at you?

"Because you're evil, spiteful, annoying?"

He stares at you for a moment before he cracks a grin that turns into an overly sweet smile that can be recognized as fake from miles away. "That's very generous of you, thank you!"

He just proved your point. You roll your eyes at him. "See? You're annoying."

He shrugs, not even denying it but then he stares at you for a moment and you take that moment to take a sip from your own, almost, cold coffee.

"I know you think I'm a dick," You hum which makes it be his turn to roll his eyes at you before he continues, "But I wouldn't laugh about something that makes you look this terrible."

"Excuse me? Terrible? I've spent half an hour doing this make-up!" you exclaim, glaring at him and his straight-forwardness yet again. Do you really look terrible?

You don't feel exactly happy, more empty and maybe just a bit overwhelmed from what happened, but you've actually worked on yourself and your mindset, thanks to your friends who have been there for you. After all, you don't regret your decision to put your relationship with Haneul to an end.

"I didn't mean it like that." he mutters simply, not saying anything else and you know you probably won't get any details from him.

It's not a big deal, Y/N... you think as you let out a sigh. "Fine, me and my boyfriend, well ex now, broke up. And my New Year's trip was ruined, and oh, Jungkook's girlfriend was involved in that too."

Spilling the news and details to Yoongi doesn't feel burdening, you're slightly shocked how easy it came out.

"You had a boyfriend?" he asks confusingly, remembering how you were whining about the lack of sex in your life just a month ago or whenever you gave him a handjob in his brother's office. He obviously doesn't keep up with your life, but the news of you having a boyfriend is slightly surprising.

"Yeah, for like a month." you scoff at yourself and your failed relationship.

When Yoongi actually snorts at your answer, you make sure you give him a glare for laughing about the short period of your relationship.

"Damn, poor boy gave up?"

"No," you spit, "He actually slut-shamed me in front of everyone before the actual New Year's Eve and then left without talking to me."

If Yoongi seemed surprised to you before, he definitely is shocked now and ignores the bitter tone and glare you aim at him for automatically assuming the other person has to be the poor little guy. You're actually sick of him belittling you and thinking everyone around you poor them.

He clears his throat rather awkwardly, setting his cup of coffee behind him on a counter before he scratches the back of his head. "He did what? Why would he do that?"

Sighing, you put your cup next to his, not even sure if you're in a need for coffee anymore. "He found out about me and Jungkook, from Jungkook's girlfriend."

"Oh," He lets out, which makes you nod. There's a beat of silence for a moment and you're not completely aware of the way your features drop in sadness as you stare at your feet, however Yoongi is there to notice and witness it all. "That doesn't give him the right to do that though."

You look at Yoongi, offering him a slight nod, silently agreeing with him. Yoongi isn't great at comforting other people, the hell, he's not even trying to be. It just makes him feel awkward for some reason but it's very rare to see you vulnerable. You always appear as someone who always stands up for themselves, strong and stubborn to him. The last time you had a proper talk, there was alcohol involved which naturally made it easier to talk to you.

But now, there's no alcohol and you're just a few minutes away from having to go to work. He doesn't know any more details of what really went down that day but from the looks of it, it wasn't pleasant and it obviously affects you to some extent. Yoongi isn't the one asking for details, not when he sees you visibly upset and hurt. He often crosses the line but when it comes down to something serious, he rather shuts up.

"Well," he starts, clearing his throat as he awkwardly shifts his eyes from you to the window behind you. "He's an idiot for doing that..."

It's not like you don't know that, but hearing Yoongi say it and not having a sarcastic remark makes you appreciate it. You let out a slight chuckle which catches his attention and you almost burst out laughing when you give him an appreciative smile and he almost panics, suddenly feeling uncomfortable from the awfully touching moment.

"Thanks?"

"Yeah, whatever," he murmurs, reaching for his cup. "See you later, loser."

And he's already out of the door before you can cuss him out.

"Alright, I'm heading out guys." Jungkook announces, tucking his phone back to the pocket of his jeans after he checked the time.

He catches everyone's attention, using the rare silence to inform everyone about him leaving. He has spent the last twenty minutes listening to Seokjin's and Hoseok's quarrel about a soccer game that's been playing on the television. They all had to listen to it and once Jungkook checked the time to see that it's time for him to go, he definitely had to use that silence.

"Where are you going?" Hoseok asks, slouched on his couch while Seokjin snorts beside him, reaching for the salted sticks to munch on them.

"To pick up Y/N," he answers for Jungkook. "Do you even listen sometimes?"

And there you go again, the two of them start to bicker all over again until Jimin stops it, shutting them up before he asks Hoseok for some more soda. Jungkook knows Jimin is perfectly capable of getting that alone, knowing exactly where Hoseok stocks his drinks and actually has said to everyone to make themselves feel at home.

He catches onto Jimin's doing, rolling his eyes at the younger but he still stands up, looking equally annoyed at Seokjin. Disappearing into the kitchen, Jungkook looks at Jimin who just shrugs with a grin while Taehyung is trying to hold back his laugh.

Idiots, Jungkook thinks but doesn't hide his own amused grin. It's funny how he's the youngest but his hyungs are often found bickering about the most stupid and random stuff. It actually reminds him of the evening he spent at your place, along with Taehyung and Jimin. That time when the three of them made sure you're not left alone and simply just wanted to spend some time with you, just four days after your break-up with Haneul.

"Excuse me!" The shriek that leaves your mouth makes Jungkook flinch, not expecting you to burst all of a sudden but then, he should've expected it when Taehyung started to question the real pain behind woman period. 

He's not even sure how you got into that topic. Oh yeah, you complained how awful you've been feeling because of it, admitting that you were more emotional that night when Jungkook came to see you. Everyone laughed at that, until Taehyung had to open his big mouth again and started comparing period pain to--

"Have you ever been kicked to the balls? That pain is unbearable!"

You shoot up from your laid position, sitting upright which makes Jungkook flinch again and he holds you back, staring at you with wide eyes while you glare the hell out of Taehyung. He looks absolutely unbothered, slouched on the other end of the couch, plopping more popcorn into his mouth while you look on the verge of going crazy.

"Come on guys..." Jungkook tries, chuckling a little bit to ease the mood but you completely ignore him.

"Oh, go to hell with your balls!"

Jimin snorts, causing Jungkook to look at him in disbelief as he just shrugs while chugging more beer. 

"You know what we women go through while getting our period? It's not just stomach pain, our lower backs hurt too, sometimes we have a urge to vomit and sometimes we do. Oh, our head spins and we feel like we're gonna faint, some women even do! And oh, we get all hot feeling like our insides are burning, we sweat a lot and then in a second we start shivering from cold! There are so many different symptoms too! Can you imagine that?"

You're breathing heavily by the time you're finished, pointing an accusatory finger at Taehyung. 

"Okay, but we men definitely know what I'm talking about. Right? Guys, back me up a little," Taehyung glances between Jungkook and Taehyung as Jungkook opens his mouth, earning a stern glare from you as you cock your brow at him. 

Jimin silently admits that yes, kick to the balls hurt as fuck but other than that, he doesn't say too much. "See?" Taehyung adds cockily. 

"Why do I even bother talking about this to men?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest as Jungkook gasps.

"Uh, I didn't even say anything." Jungkook mutters and again, he's completely ignored by you.

"We literally feel period cramps for hours if not longer! You know what? I'll kick your balls repeatedly, so--"

"Alright, alright, time-out." Jungkook interrupts you when you start rising from your spot as you glare at Taehyung who dramatically gasps and covers his crotch with the bowl full of popcorn.

"You're psycho!" Taehyung shrieks at you.

"Hey!" Jungkook frowns, scolding him which makes Taehyung shut his mouth as you stick out your tongue at him behind Jungkook's shoulder.

Today has been your first day working at a club again after holidays and after a few conversations about the trouble your car is giving you (and Jungkook's own persistence), you both agreed on Jungkook picking you up tonight.

He bids goodbye to the guys, making his way to Hoseok's kitchen knowing Kiko is there preparing more snacks for everyone, so he can bid goodbye to her too. She went there a couple of minutes ago, just in time to miss bickering between Hoseok and Jimin, which she unmistakably must've heard anyway.

Jungkook pats the pockets on the back of his jeans to check if his phone and wallet are still there as he hears distant voices that have to belong to Hoseok and Kiko. He can hear Kiko's soft and hushed voice, already confirming his thoughts that she's still in the kitchen making snacks while Hoseok went to grab a soda for Jimin. Just as he's about to walk in, informing them about his presence he hears Hoseok's hushed but stern voice.

"This is not gonna end up good, Kik and you know it."

Jungkook stops in his tracks immediately, just behind the corner so they can't see him as something comes over him and tells him to stop from walking there. He's been friends with Hoseok for years and enough to recognize the rare distress in his voice. He's usually cheerful and even though there are moments when he can be the most serious amongst everyone, there's just something off behind his tone.

"Hobi, please," He hears Kiko murmur in a silent plea. "Don't make this any harder."

"You've made this harder for yourself Kik and you know it," Jungkook can perfectly hear a slight disappointment and sadness in Hoseok's voice. "This is hard for me too. Jungkook is my friend too."

Jungkook feels himself swallow harshly after that, not being able to detect all the emotions behind Hoseok's tone but one thing is sure, he sounds kind of sad and guilty.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, Kik," Hoseok murmurs, shaking his head at her – something Jungkook can't see behind the corner as he remains glued to his spot not being able to move. "I'm your friend, I told you I've got your back. I don't mean to sound as if I'm blaming you... but think about Jungkook. You've to tell him, you should've told him sooner."

"No," Kiko reacts immediately, sounding almost afraid. "No, he doesn't wanna know,"

Hoseok raises his brow, ready to open his mouth to disagree but she panics and grabs his wrists to make him look at her.

"Our relationship is good, Hobi, I can't risk ruining it any further. I'm aware everything is my fault and there is not a day I don't think about it, but I love him. I love him so much and now I finally got him back. Please."

She sounds weak, hurt and sad, settling an uncomfortable feeling in Jungkook's chest. One part of him is desperate to go there and check on her, hearing her voice quivering slightly which indicates she's close to crying. However the other part, the rational part, reminds him of what he's hearing and his feelings have to go away for a second.

"This has gone too far, Jungkook might be okay with it because he loves you... but he deserves to know. It's hard for me too, but I'm not sure how long I can take it." Hoseok sounds determined, even though he keeps his voice kind of gentle. Or maybe it's his whispered tone, not knowing Jungkook is hearing all of this and is standing just behind the corner with uncertain feelings and a huge lump in his throat.

He's not even sure what he should be thinking, it's hard to process anything at the moment and all he can focus on is listening to his friend and girlfriend talking about him. About his and Kiko's relationship while Hoseok is determined to make Kiko tell him everything. Although Jungkook doesn't want to know any details, he's starting questioning everything and wondering if Hoseok is much more involved in this than he thought.

"Hobi!" Kiko exclaims, almost crying out as Hoseok shakes his head disapprovingly yet staring at the distressed woman with a sorrowful look.

"If you don't tell him, I will." And there's a beat of silence following after, Jungkook's heart beating in his ears as he can't seem to react in any way.

Meanwhile Kiko is staring wide-eyed at her best friend, gasping in disbelief as he stares at her with a pitiful look. "You wouldn't do that..." she whispers, voice shaky as he looks away for a second, not bearing to see her teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kik. I know I promised you, but this has gone too far. Jungkook is gonna hate both of us, but it's better than him not knowing the whole truth while you're torturing yourself every day. You might think you're happy but deep down, it's always gonna live inside you. And the truth always comes out, the sooner it'll it's better. For everyone."

That's it. Jungkook can't take it and before he can properly think it through, he's already coming out of the shadows and the corner, making himself visible. His presence is known right away, their heads snapping to Jungkook's figure as he stares with empty look at both of them while a loud gasp leaves Kiko's mouth.

Just by looking at his face, seeing nothing but emptiness that slowly turns into anger and hurt, she knows he heard. He heard everything.

Hoseok looks just as surprised to see Jungkook as Kiko does, although he looks much more collected than her. Tears start to stream down her cheeks as she quickly straightens herself and walks around the kitchen island, trying to get to Jungkook. However, she's coming to a halt when Jungkook motions for her to stop with his outstretched arm.

"I can explain," Is what comes out of her mouth, voice breathy and quickened. "W-we were just talking and--"

"I don't wanna hear anything right now." he cuts her off, shaking his head.

"I'll give you guys some space..." Hoseok mutters, sending Jungkook an apologetic look which the younger notices but doesn't react to because his eyes are back on his girlfriend.

"Jung--"

"I said I don't wanna hear anything right now," he mutters sternly, "I gotta go right now but I wanna know everything. No more secrets."

"Jungkook," she gasps again, taking a few steps towards him but she stops when he glares at her and takes a step back.

"No, whatever Hoseok wants you to tell me, you will. Tomorrow."

And with that, he turns around and quickly walks out of the room, still hearing the quiet sob that leaves her mouth as he rushes through the living room, ignoring everyone's curious eyes and the way they all shut up once they notice Jungkook's state.

Hoseok is avoiding Jimin's eyes, grabbing a beer as he takes a large gulp of it but before Jimin can stand up and check on Jungkook, he already hears the front door closing with a loud thud. Once Kiko joins them after a few minutes, bringing the snacks, he notices her red eyes before she mutters a quick excuse of having to get home.

The rest of the night is not fun anymore, the weird tension lingering in the entire Hoseok's apartment even after Kiko and Jungkook left.

[alvojake]

Now I See Something Red | Masterlist ♤

"𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒚 ���𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒆?"

𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖔𝖔 : ❝ 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦? ❞

「paring」 : sunoo x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : with the talk of a killer in town, your family wanted you closer to them, so you're left with no choice but to move back to your hometown. you dreaded being back home, the unwanted childhood memories always resurfacing; however, meeting the neighborhood dog walker, you start to think, 'how bad could it actually be?' until you're faced with the very killer your parents and townsfolk warned you of, and what's worse? he's absolutely obsessed with you.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!sunoo, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 : cussing, blood, murder, sunoo is psychotic & obsessed with the reader, unprotected sex, mentions of a traumatic childhood, toxic relationship(s), (will add more as I write)

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖏𝖆𝖐𝖊 : ❝ 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❞

「paring」 : jake x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : you were new to town and wanted to mingle, so why not try a new dating app? however, what happeneds when it to leads you to coming face to face with the renowned serial killer that everyone around town had warned you of? though what if that had been your plan all along?

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!jake, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖓𝖎𝖐𝖎 : ❝ 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺 "𝘸𝘩𝘰'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦" ❞

「paring」 : riki x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : you and riki have been attached at the hip since the two of you were little. doing everything together, even going as far as going to the same college together. however, when you start to branch off slowly losing time for him, riki starts to grow severely irritated. that's when the killings around campus start and the curfew was set, but you wanting to rebel sneak out to go hang out with a guy. except you're faced with the very killer they warned you of and worse of all? it's your best friend.

「genre」 : horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!riki, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖘𝖊𝖚𝖓𝖌 : ❝ ...𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 ❞

「paring」 : heeseung x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : being a true crime fanatic in a town with a serial killer had it's pros and cons. pros being that you could have a hell of a time putting together your own evidence and reading all of the police reports and even going as far as going to the crime scenes to see if you could find anything that the police left behind. cons were the chances of running into said killer while snooping around were high, especially when you take a detour home and find yourself encountering this killer. except instead of killing you like you thought he would, he kidnaps you.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!heeseung, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖏𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖜𝖔𝖓 : ❝ 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 ❞

「paring」 : jungwon x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : the whole town was in panic at the first mention of a new killer on the loose, but what happens when another killer shows up, a copycat? or in which you were completely enamored by jungwon and his style that you would do absolutely anything to gain his attention. then what happens when you finally have his attention? because in jungwon's eyes, there can only be one.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!jungwon, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖏𝖆𝖞 : ❝ 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 ❞

「paring」 : jay x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : it had been years since you've seen your crazy ex of a boyfriend and everything was going peacefully. that was until a series of murders started to show up around your town. the victims were your suitors or just simply men who would look your way a bit too long for someone's liking.... now with all his competition out of the way jay finally makes himself to you, showing just how much he's missed you.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!jay, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

-

𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖓 : ❝ 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 ❞

「paring」 : sunghoon x fem!reader

「word count」 : ?? (current : 0)

「synopsis」 : you were visiting family from out of town because your cousin had fallen victim to the killer that was running around town. everyone was on edge, scared of their next move and your aunt didn't want to leave her animals alone when they left so she begged you to stay. thinking that you would be fine if you just stayed indoors, but boy were you wrong when you get the one phone call they all warned you of.

「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!sunghoon, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst

「warnings」 :

「release date」 : TBD

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.