#adam had nothing. then he had something for a few hours. nd then that was ripped away from him too

[zer0point5ive]

thinking about adam actively seeking comfort from lawrence even after lawrence shot him. holding on to lawrence. begging him to stay. upsets me greatly ..

[descendantofthesparrow]

Held Back - Harry Hook x Ben’s sibling! Reader - Part 1

Note; before we start, “reader” is non-binary but since I've always imagined Auradon is pretty… old-fashioned and close-minded, they really don’t realize they are NB but know they don’t like being referred to as a “girl” or a “female”. Also, I know “realistically” Adam and Belle wouldn’t neglect their 2nd kid for the first n shit but it’s called a plot point and they are like that for a reason.

Tried to not use “readers” pronouns at all until we get to the good shit where they are like “oh, that’s what that is?”

Also, this will be a 2-part story, the 1st takes place in D2, while the 2nd will take place after D2 and into D3 :3

OH, slight smut in this fic….yeah…it doesn’t get detailed-detailed, but it gets…heated…yeah…if you don’t like even reading this that hint at sex then I’ll put warnings at the beginning and end of those scenes :3 otherwise this is a pretty “safe” fic

Enjoy~

=

Being the daughter, and the 2nd child, to Beast and Belle, wasn’t…what everyone assumed it was. Everyone expected that since you were their 2nd kid, one that wasn't in line for the throne, that you could do anything, get away with anything. That you could just shrug and say ‘oops’ and all would be forgiven. But it wasn’t. It was constant rules and upkeep, never able to run free and scrape your knee when you fell off the tree you had climbed, never able to just scream as you ran along the shoreline, soaking the seawater into your clothes.

Always sit up straight, never cross your legs, never run, never frown, never sneer, don’t talk back, don’t yell, just sit there and -

Be perfect

For the early years of your life, you had loved Ben. Ben your 5-minute older twin brother, Ben who always cared about you, Ben who hid the vase you had broken when you were chasing him through the castle halls when told not to.

Ben; who had refused to let you be pushed aside.

But resentment grew when your parents would always favor him, always praise him; for the bare minimum.

If he got a B in his project? Amazing! Take him out for ice cream.

You? Getting a B+? scolding’s and being told to do better next time, with your dessert taken away for the week.

While you held this resentment for him, you couldn’t hate him, not really, not when he would sneak you his leftover ice cream that was your favorite flavor, one that he hated but your parents didn’t know, not when he would run into your room on stormy nights to make sure you were okay.

Not when he obviously loved you so much.

But you wanted more, you needed more…just something to fill the gap that your parents were leaving. A gap that for some reason they couldn’t see was growing bigger every time they turned their backs on you and turned to Ben.

You were a loner too…most of your “friends” were actually Bens friends, Audrey being one of the few that usually hung out with you outside of Ben and Chad, she was petty as hell sometimes and pretty passive-aggressive to those she didn’t like but she had never seen you as “Bens sister” or “the second child of King beast and Queen Belle”

She just saw you as (y/n), her friend.

When the VKs came, it was almost a relief, finally, the attention was off of you. With Bens coronation and even your parents paying more attention to the new kids instead of picking apart what was wrong with your English essay.

You had tried talking to them, but all four of them were pretty off Standish, and in their own group almost all the time, but after they had chosen good, you and Evie had started talking and had grown a small friendship, one that was nothing compared to what she had with Ben and Mal but you didn't feel as lonely anymore.

Mal had…. acknowledged your existence…yeah, the two of you didn’t really interact much. And you were fine with that.

Especially after Ben told you she tried to memory spell him (you had almost stormed into her dorm guns blazing). Then soon after that, Ben and the other vks were going back to the isle, and you were utterly bored and needed to do something other than sit in your room and disappoint your parents by doing nothing so why don’t go to the isle and disappoint your parents for a good reason!

So now, you stood at the stairway below the core four’s hideout, happy you had taken your denim jacket with you as the isle chill set in.

“so?” Evie asked Ben as he solemnly climbed back down the stairs, his eyes at the ground “where’s Mal?” Ben shook his head, pushing past Evie and Jay and walking down the ally.

“she's not coming back” he muttered before disappearing. You kept your eyes on him in worry, ignoring the other three’s worry over Mal who was safe and sound in her little hideout while your brother, who knew how to hold a sword but sucked at hand to hand, disappeared into the alleys of the isle. 

You moved to go after him but stopped as a much taller, leaner shadow took Bens place in a blink and walked toward you. “hey!” you yelled, the vks stopping in their Mal rant and turning to you “Ben’s gone”

Evie's face melted from worry for Mal to worry for Ben as she stepped next to you and called for Ben as the tall shadow got closer “Ben…Ben!”

It seemed they thought the new shadow was Ben as Evie sighed in relief and looked away, setting her hand on your shoulder “Ben don’t scare us like that!”

“Don’ scare yeh~?” the tall shadow stepped into the light, the teens bright blue eyes sending shocks down your spine as you looked into them “That’s my specialty ~” he purred, his eyes flashing between you and Jay. Evie breathed out his name in annoyance.

Harry…what a nice name...

“what did you do with Ben!” Jay stepped in front of you, not liking the way Harry was eyeing you up. Harry seemed to no understand what Jay was asking before he gasped, turning slightly to point down the ally.

“oh~! We nicked ‘im~!” he nodded as if he was explaining something to a toddler “and if yeh want ta’ see ‘im again~ have Mal come to the chip shop tonight~” his eyes darkened as he gestured to the group with his hook “Alone…Uma wants” his tone lightened again, his eyes looking back at you with curiosity “a little visit~”

He looked at jay again and pursed his lips, looking up and down “aw Jay~” he tilted his head and gave a teasing grin “seems like ye’ lost yer touch~” Jay growled and tried to tackle Harry, but was stopped by Evie. Harry held his hands up and giggled, turning to you and bowing slightly “your highness~” he purred, winking at you and blowing a kiss as he walked away.

The vks mostly ignored his last few actions and Jay hopped up the side of the stairs to get to Mal, while you watched Harry disappear into the ally, your heart going miles a minute.

“wow” you muttered, shaking your head to get rid of the fluffy feeling in your head “get a grip (y/n), he just kidnapped your brother!”

You quickly followed Evie and Carlos as the gate door of the stairway lifted and ascended to the hideout.

-

Leaving you on your own in the hideout was probably the worst choice the vks had made that entire night, as you had nothing to entertain yourself with so you just left and traveled around.

You had somehow walked from the hideout to the docks, and if you remembered correctly, this was the pirate's territory. So, you spun back around to get your ass back to the hideout but stopped as two sets of lust-filled eyes stared back.

But unlike Ben, you smirked as you crouched into a fighting stance, you had taken almost every self-defense class you could. For more than one reason but mainly because even in Auradon there were still nasty people.

The bigger one of the two men rushed at you, but ultimately flopped to the floor as you pivoted on your right foot and swung your left leg around, hitting him directly in the temple and knocking him out.

You grinned at the other man and waved your fingers at him “come get me~” you jeered, laughing to yourself as he yelled and rushed at you.

But before he could take a step closer, a silver hook whacked over his head and knocked the second man out. You pouted and glared at the new person, not caring if it was the teen that had kidnapped your brother an hour ago “hey!”

“hey~!” he mocked back, a teasing smile on his face. He stepped over the two men and curled his hook under your chin, his eyes drifting over your face “now what's a little princess-” you twitched at the nickname “-like yeh traveling alone on the isle~ it's dangerous yeh know?”

You forced down the heat that wanted to cover your face and shrugged, mentally smirking as Harry rose his brow “well…they left me alone in the hideout and I got bored…can't blame me for wanting some excitement eh?”

He squinted at you for a minute, as if he was trying to figure you out…then he finally spoke “yer different than’ I thought yeh would be” he muttered softly, the cool metal of his hook drifting away from your chin and back at his side.

You crossed your arms and cocked your hip, giving the pirate a smirk “what did you think I was going to be like?”

“prissy, stuck up, wouldn’t touch the isle even with a hundred’ foot pole” he shrugged, licking his lips as you rolled your eyes and brew a lock of hair out of your face.

“well as you’ve just experienced, that’s not true” Harry laughed through his nose, looking up towards the barrier and running his free hand through his hair.

“aye…” his shockingly blue eyes drifted back down to meet yours. “so why even come ta the isle? Fer beasty boy? Malsy?”

You looked down at your shoes…you really had no reason to come along did you? Ben and the others could have easily handled getting back Mal without you…so why?

…

“because if my parents are going to disappointed in me it might as well be for a real reason” you muttered, letting your arms drop to your side.

You felt Harry's eyes on you as you stared hard at the ground, willing yourself not to cry. “that sucks” you looked at Harry through your lashes, seeing him staring at you with sad eyes “I thought…I thought all Bora-don parents loved their kids” he laughed uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his head.

“well…they are still human…and just because they are hailed as good people, don’t mean they are good parents” you sighed, crossing your arms again and looking away from Harry's eyes.

“wait…Bora-don?” you laughed, turning back to Harry with a grin. He seemed to be relieved of the subject change and a sharp grin grew on his face.

“aye, it's boring, so, Bora-don~” he giggled, rocking on his heels a bit. A few moments passed then he held his hand out to you.

You stared at it, then him for a few moments. “come on, let's give yer dumbass parents a real reason ta be disappointed in yeh” you smiled and took his hand, laughing quietly to yourself as Harry tugged you away from the docks and toward wherever he was taking you.

-

Your legs were in Harry's lap as the two of you cackled into the dead of night, hands stained with paint and rotten food. Harry had taken you for a night of chaos, destroying vendors with paint, pranking the twin sons of Gaston’s with balloons filled with rotting eggs, and just wreaking havoc in the streets of the isle.

Harry's arm went behind your back as you fell to the side slightly, his bicep pushing against your arm. “thank you Harry” you hummed as you finally calmed down, giving him a closed-lipped smile. “this…this really meant a lot to me” he stared at your lips for a moment before a soft, unsure, smile grew on his lips.

“it was no biggie princess,” your lip twitched at the title “I was kinda already planning ta do all those things anyway…thought it was pretty fun ta do it with someone instead of by myself” you laughed a bit, leaning back on your hands and closing your eyes.

“I get that”  it was silent for a few moments, just you and Harry on top of the abandoned building.

“yeh reacted when I called yeh princess” you twitched again “yeh did it again…is something up with the word?”

You sighed, then opened your eyes, staring into Harry for a moment then looking away “I…I don’t like being referred to like that…it’s not the title its…what it refers to… it's hard to explain”

Harry tilted his head, his hand going on your knee to gently push you to continue “is it the royalty thing?”

“no” you dismissed quickly “its…the princess thing…its…well…ugh” you took your legs off Harry's lap and switched to sitting on your knees, looking at Harry with serious eyes “I've never told anybody this and you have to swear you won't tell anybody else after I tell you” Harry blinked wildly for a moment then looked at you confused.

“lass” you twitched again, making Harry pause for a moment “darling, unless it’s something that will help bring down the barrier or take over the world, I won't tell a soul” you snickered for a moment before you took a deep breath, preparing to tell a person you had just meet that day, one that had kidnapped your brother no less, your greatest secret.

It didn’t help that you felt more comfortable with him in five minutes than you had with your parents for the last 16 years. “I…don’t like it when I'm referred to with girl-like titles or…pronouns” you winced, hands going to block anything that might come your way.

“oh, yeh don’t like she-her pronouns where they are used in a way to refer ta yeh?” Harry clarified, you looked at him slightly odd, expecting some sort of relation or comment, but…it was as if you had just told him you didn’t like a vegetable instead of you not being comfortable with your gender pronouns?

“uh…yeah basically?” you rubbed the back of your head, the other hand picking at the loose threads on your pants.

“yeah, it's not that uncommon ‘ere, I think Desiree is non-binary and one of the other crew members is gender-fluid…not that it's not a big deal but…why have yeh never told anybody else about that? Not even yer brother?” your wide-eyes looked away, hands clenching into your shirt “Darling?”

“um…Auradon isn’t really…accepting of most things…I didn’t even know that…non-binary and gender-fluid were a thing…what do they mean?” you looked back at Harry who seemed to be very surprised “what?”

“nothin’ I'm just surprised tha’ the place of happily ever after’s is kinda…shit?” he laughed, rubbing the back of his head “okay lemme remember what Desiree told me um…Okay non-binary is when you don’t…identify as the gender yeh were at birth so say…okay take Desiree as an example, they’ve been told they’ve been a girl since they were born but they’ve always felt like that didn’t fit, but being a boy didn’t feel right either. so that’s what non-binary is. It's that yeh are neither male nor female yeh are…well you, and most of the time, as far as I know, they use they-them pronouns instead of she or he. but I think some of them use she and they, or he and they…just depends on who uses the pronouns n stuff.”

That…that sounded right…you had never liked female pronouns on you, and ages ago, when you tested male pronouns to yourself, that never felt right either…could you be non-binary? “um, what about gender-fluid?” Harry took a deep breath and looked up.

“Okay, I’m not as knowledgeable on that since the one who actually told me about it didn’t tell me everything…anyway, its under the same...umbrella i think its called as non-binary but genderfluid is when you are both genders, not at the same time…I think, but one day yeh can be female, the other a male, sometimes neither, but that’s what gender-fluid is. They don’t have a fixed gender”

While that sounded interesting…it didn’t feel right to you, you never felt like a girl, and you never felt like a boy… “I think I’m non-binary” you breathed, feeling like a weight was lifting off your entire body. You grinned as Harry smiled.

“awesome, welcome to the club darling” you let yourself fall forward into Harry’s chest, who stiffened slightly and slowly wrapped his arms around you.

“thank you” you muttered quietly, rubbing your cheek into his collarbone. His entire body was still as you cuddled into him, before he relaxed and laid his cheek on your head.

“yer welcome darling” he whispered back, one of his hands going up to cup the back of your head, thumb gently rubbing back and forth.

You jumped as a sudden loud noise crashed below you, and you further ducked into Harry, yelping slightly as he tipped back and the two of you ended up in an odd pile on the rooftop.

Harry tightened his arms around you, his entire body tense again as he listened for any threats. He let out a soft sigh as the high-pitched yowl of a cat rang from where the loud noise came and the animal scuttled off. “yer fine” he whispered, letting his head hit the roof as you sat up and looked around “jus’ a cat”

-smut starts here so if you don’t want to read anything that either includes it or hints at it just scroll till you get to another warning, but this does has some plot points in it soo scroll at ur own risk-

You nodded slightly, twisting around to look at the bleak buildings of the isle. you felt something beneath your legs and you glanced down, feeling heat creep into your face as you realized you were straddling Harry's thigh, it seemed he didn’t fully realize you were doing it as well, his leg rubbing against…well your…area.

You squeaked as he pushed his leg up further and tipped forward, your hands reaching out and slamming next to Harry's head to catch yourself.

His eyes flashed open, red building on his cheeks as your faces were suddenly only two inches apart. “um” you looked to the side, biting your lip “s-sorry” Harry glanced down, the blush spreading to his ears as he realized what the pressure against his leg was. He laid his leg flat and let out a short laugh.

“uh…” you locked eyes again, and a strong shiver was sent down your spine as you looked into his sparkling ocean blue eyes.

You could feel an ache between your legs begin to grow as you lifted yourself back up and hovered over Harry's hips. Harry slowly sat up, stopping inches away from your face, his eyes drifting to your lips for a moment then looking back up at you. “I-“ you whispered, biting your lip as a devious idea came to mind “I have…an idea”

“oh,” Harry whispered back, leaning a bit closer, his hands sliding forward on the ground and resting on your thighs. “Wha’?”

“you know what would really disappoint my parents?” you grinned, your hands reaching up from your sides and gripping onto Harry's jacket, pulling him toward you a bit.

He grinned back, looking down at your lips again “wha’ would tha’ be?”

You leaned in, lips only an inch from his “sleeping with someone they would hate” you could almost feel the wide grin that spread on his lips.

“sounds an excellent idea~” he purred, hands flashing up to your shoulders as yours curled around his neck and pulled him into a hard kiss, teeth clashing and faces warm.

Harry's leg arched up against your butt and forced you forward again, your lips parted with a gasp as Harry leaned back with you. he wrapped his arms around your torso, pressing your chest into his and leaning down to nip at your neck “Harry” you breathed, pressing your lips together as Harry's hands drifted down to your butt and pushed it against his hips, an odd hardness pressing against the ache between your legs. You let out a low whispering moan as he ground against you, his lips smirking against your neck as you started to meet his hips in tandem.

“that’s it darling” he purred, trailing up your neck and sucking on your jaw “jus’ like tha’” you whimpered, ducking your head down and burning into Harry's neck as Harry's hips started to go harder and faster against you. You let out small gasps as your hips twitched and ground back down into Harry's, who let out small groans against your shoulder.

“hang on hang on” Harry grabbed your hips, stopping you and sitting up. One of his hands reached up to the back of your neck and pulled you back, lips crashing into yours in a bruising kiss. His hips started again, the heat between your legs almost becoming unbearable as you trust against them to get rid of the ache.

Harry nipped at your lip, smirking as you opened at his request and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He sucked at your lip, dragging your tongue into his mouth. You sighed at the feeling, tightening your grip on his jacket as you let him just play with your tongue.

He pulled back, smirking at the trail of saliva that still connected your lips. “shall I take yeh to my apartment yer highness~ yeh should be taken in a place of privacy, not a damned rooftop.” Your hazy mind yelled at you to go with him and you nodded, yelping slightly as Harry grabbed your thighs and stood with ease, your legs locking around his waist. “I’ll take good care of yeh darling~”

-

You let out a breathless gasp as your back hit his bed, the larger teen pouncing on top of you, not waiting for you to stop bouncing, and pressed another bruising kiss to your lips.

You heard him unzip his jacket and throw it across his room, the chain across the back making a loud sound as it hit the wall. He pulled away from you for a moment to rip off his sword sheath and shirt. You felt your face burn as his pecks and abs came into sight, slowly reaching out to trail your fingers against his scars as he pulled his shirt over his head.

You felt him shiver as you brushed your knuckle over his perked nipple and gripped onto his bicep, biting your lip at the look in his eyes as he smirked down at you.

“before we start” he rasped in a low tone, making you press your thighs together to relieve the ache that pulsed “do you really want ta do this?”

“yes” you answered immediately, smiling at his question, good to know that even after you had gone this far, he still asked for consent. He smiled back and leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours, noses touching.

“Jus’ tell me ta stop, and I will” you nodded and pulled his lips down into yours, immediately opening your mouth and clashing your tongue with his.

Within seconds your jacket was taken off and Harry pushed your top up above your breasts, unclipping your bra from the back and pushing that over your breasts as well.

You pushed at his chest, Harry immediately pulling away and raising his brow, laughing slightly as you sat up and discarded your top and bra. You pulled him back into the kiss, groaning into his as his hips dipped and pressed into yours again.

He pulled away for a split moment, making you whine in objection and tug on his hair. He leaned down and whispered into your ear, lips brushing against your skin.

“I'll make sure yeh won't be able ta walk properly tomorrow~”

-

Harry started up at the ceiling, his fingers gently trailing up and down your back. Almost every inch of him ached, from the reddening hickeys on his neck, torso, and hips, the scratches on his arms, back, and torso, to the bitemark on his neck.

He looked out his window, noting it was pitch black outside. He sighed and turned his head into you, curling his other arm around you and tugging you tighter into his side, breathing in the scent of your (fav shampoo).

He didn’t know why, but from the moment he had first seen you, your curious eyes peeking from behind Jay's shoulder, he had felt something flutter within him. He wasn’t able to stop thinking about you from then on, even as he taunted Ben in the lost revenge’s brig, unable to get those hypnotic (e/c) eyes out of his head.

He couldn’t ignore the genuine happiness when he saw you again, taking down those goons with ease and confidence. He couldn’t ignore the feeling in his chest when you laughed, the intense fluttering when you smiled at him.

The way heat rushed to his cheeks when you hugged him.

The passion he felt as he looked down at your writing body as he was deep inside you.

-Alright! Yall who don’t like reading smut/stuff that hints at it are good! You may continue reading!-

He shouldn’t feel this way, not for the child of the king that had sent his father to the isle, and dooming hundreds of kids to a floating prison just for being the children of villains. He shouldn’t feel this way about the sibling of the king they had kidnapped and were holding for ransom.

He had only heard of this type of feelings from stories of the heroes of Bora-don, how they had somehow fallen in love within seconds of meeting the other. He had never understood it, calling it stupid that someone would fall in love with someone they just met.

He understood it now, the ache in his chest when he thought of you being hurt when the villains took over the world after Uma got the wand and freed them all. He only had one word to assign it to.

Love.

His grip on your waist tightened, and he buried his face in your hair. He didn’t know if he would ever see you again after today, so he would treasure the moments he had with you now.

You groaned slightly in your sleep, your hand that wasn’t trapped under his pillow reaching up and curling around his neck, pulling yourself further into his neck, your nose pushing into the dip between his shoulder and neck.

He pressed a kiss to your head and closed his eyes, huffing slightly as he realized he felt completely content by your side.

-

You grumbled as beams of light pushed through your closed eyes, you pushed off Harry's chest and glared at the window, reaching to close the curtain that half covered it, huffing as you realized you couldn’t reach it from your spot buried in Harry's side.

You stilled as Harry's arm reached past you and closed the curtain, leaving the room in calmly lit darkness. He put his hand on your head and pushed it back onto his chest, thumb gently caressing the back of your head. “morning” you rasped, tilting your head to rest your chin on Harry's pecs and smiling at the slowly awakening pirate.

“morning darling” he rasped back, his sleepy ocean blue eyes staring back at you. He slowly sat up, shifting you to sit in his lap as he shook his head to force himself to wake up. “wha’ time is it” he grumbled, raising his brow as you reached behind him for your pants, that were hanging off his bed frame, and pulled out your phone.

“8:30” you set your phone on the nightstand and flopped back into Harry's chest, tightly wrapping your arms around him. “what time is the…thing?”

“12” he hummed, pressing his cheek to your head and holding onto you “so…”

“three and a half hours” you did the math for him, pouting as he pulled you back slightly and looked into your eyes.

“Uma wanted me at the ship at nine darling…” you sighed, looking at your lap as you realized your time with the handsome pirate was almost up.

He pressed a kiss to your head and pulled his blankets around you, covering your nakedness and getting out of the bed, aware of your eyes on his butt as he walked over to his dresser.

“Please tell me it wasn’t just me” he paused as he slid his underwear over his hips and looked over at his shoulder at you, eyes widening as he saw a droplet of water appear from behind your hair and fall onto the blanket “please tell me it wasn’t just me that felt something”

He was silent for a few moments, biting his lip as his heart raced with the realization that you felt the same way he did.

He stared at you for a few moments before turning back to his dresser and opening the small box on top and pulling out a necklace.

He turned and walked towards you, giving you a soft smile as he sat in front of you and gently lifted the tread around your neck, trailing his fingers down it and holding the small charm in his fingertips.

You glanced down at it and gasped, the charm was a small metal hook with a small red gem in the middle of the bulb. “this is something I’ve had fer awhile” Harry whispered, looking back up at you and bonking his forehead into yours “Gil made it for meh a long time ago, but it…it didn’t feel right on me…but I kept it cause it felt like it had a purpose…I guess that purpose was ta be on yeh” you sniffed as your vison blurred “what I’m saying is…yes, it wasn’t jus’ you, I felt something too”

He tilted your chin up with his finger, softly smiling at you and leaning in slightly “a feeling I’ve only heard in yer Bora-don tales” you gasped slightly at that, heart going a thousand miles a minute as you realized he had felt the same way you did since you had first seen him last night in the ally “it sounds stupid” he chuckled, looking off for a moment “I never believe those tales of love at first sight or that type of shit but…” he looked back into your eyes, hand trailing from your chin to the back of your neck “I was proved wrong”

He pulled you into a sweet, soft kiss, your eyes closing as he slowly moved his lips against yours, his other hand coming up and taking your hand that wasn’t holding the blanket.

Your mind went hazy as the world around you melted away at the taste of Harry's bruised lips, giving you the softest kiss you had ever gotten from anyone.

He pulled back for a moment, pressing another soft kiss to your lips before sitting back and opening his eyes, smiling as you kept yours closed and swayed slightly “(y/n)” he whispered, realizing he had to go very soon if he wanted to make sure you got back to the core four safely, and make it to the ship on time “ye have ta go now”

You slowly opened your eyes and pouted, tilting forward and hugging Harry tightly “I know, but It's too dangerous for yeh here love, get dressed, and I’ll walk ye back to the hideout” you shook your head against his chest but obeyed after he clicked his tongue and picked one of your legs up and let it drop on the floor.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and stood, grabbing his clothes that had been tossed around in the night and quickly getting dressed, grumbling about his belts that had somehow disappeared.

“under the bed” you snorted, laughing as Harry paused and dropped to his knees and looked under the bed, muttering some curses to himself as he pulled out the two black-brown belts and attached them to his hips.

You sighed as you ran your fingers over the purple hickeys all over your neck and torso, whistling slightly at the dark bite mark on your ribs. You mentally thanked your past self as you pulled your turtle neck over your head and smoothed it down. “yeh ready darling?” you nodded over to your shoes and picked them up, walking over to Harry's bed to put them on.

You finished lacing them up and jumped slightly as Harry's hand appeared in your vision. You looked up slightly, biting your lip as he was fully geared up, a tricorn hat on his head, and a blue headwrap hiding his fluffy back hair. He had lined his eyes thick making the blue pop. You took his head and stood, the two of you walking out of his apartment and towards the hideout.

-

You stopped just a little less than a block away from the hideout, Harry taking off his hat and holding it in front of your faces as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips “I’ll see yeh later yer highness” he whispered with a smile, he took a step back and bowed low, flipping his hat on his head as he stood.

You shared a sad smile and Harry walked away. You watched him for a moment before you called after him, he turned with a raised brow “stay safe…please” you smiled as he nodded.

“as yeh wish” he turned away and walked toward the wharf, leaving you to return to the hideout alone, the cold metal of the hook charm against your chest reminding you that you might never see him again after today.

-

You never did see him again that day, being forced to stay with the car as the others went to get Ben.

It had been a week since cotillion, and you stared at yourself in the mirror, dark bags under your eyes as the clock read 2 am.

It had been hard…hearing yourself being referred to as “she” or “her” or “the sister of king ben” when you had finally found out who you were.

After you had gotten back you had scoured the internet to look up the terms Harry had told you. Non-binary…’Non-binary people not only do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth; they do not identify with the male or female gender at all’

You were non-binary, and it was so hard to hear yourself be misgendered after years of feeling uncomfortable being referred to as a ‘girl’ then finally figuring yourself after meeting Harry. you thought of telling the core four, but you were scared that they would ask about how you found out, and then you would have to spill the beans about Harry.

You didn’t know what it meant to be non-binary but…this was your journey right? As long as you felt it was right…it had to be the right path…right? You glanced at the scissors on the counter, then back at yourself in the mirror, frowning at your long hair that your mother had demanded that you never cut dramatically, in fear that you would be seen as a boy.

…well fuck that.

You grabbed your scissors in one hand, your hair in the other, and pulled it to the side. You closed your eyes as you held the scissors over your hair.

*snip!*

You hardly looked as you chopped off your long hair, the locks falling on your feet and bathroom floor as you did.

You took a deep breath as you set down the scissors again and quickly looked at yourself, breath-stopping as you did.

“oh” you breathed, leaning forward towards the mirror and reaching up to touch your choppy short hair “...there you are” the cut was ugly and rough but…it felt right…you smiled, running your hands through your hair.

A thought came to mind, and you ran into your room to grab a baggy button-up shirt you had stolen from Ben months ago and quickly threw it over your tank top and buttoned it up.

You took a deep breath and stepped in front of your mirror, your eyes burning as you felt like you were seeing yourself for the first time “there you are” you whispered again, reaching up and grabbing the hook charm as you closed your eyes.

Your name was (y/n), and you were non-binary.

And if that disappointed your parents? Or anyone else in Auradon? Fuck em.

If you were proud of yourself that was all that mattered.

-end of part 1-

2nd parts gonna be after d2 and into D3 with (y/n) telling Ben and the C4 about them being NB and doing things to help themselves feel more like themselves…yep :D hopefully, I did this fic right and represented those who are non-binary correctly, I used the knowledge I had and did some research to make sure I didn’t type any stupid shit.

Oh also enjoy this little sketch dump I did while writing this, it's not (y/n) exactly, but just how I envisioned the “character” if it wasn’t a blank slate “character” lol, and yes they do got a pirate look going on…that’s the point XD they take inspo for their fashion from Harry/pirates.

permtaglist

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012 @daughter-of-the-stars11

@musicarose @random-thoughts-003

@remembered-license @jatp-rules-my-life 

@rintheemolion @thecaptainsgingersnap

@verboetoperee @imtryingthisout

[the-ace-with-spades]

(4/6) the best is yet to come

five times someone realized Ronan and Adam were basically married and one time they actually were

Part 1 │Part 2 │Part 3 │Part 5 │Part 6

Read on ao3

Matty liked Adam. It was not the simple liking he gave everyone he met but something much deeper and more familial — it had a lot to do with how Adam could make Ronan smile the way their whole family used to could.

But also with the way he could explain math.

Declan offered to get him a tutor when they moved to DC but he never liked the idea of a stranger in their house or a stranger seeing how stupid he was exactly. There were probably other dangers with engaging the Lynch family into the normal business, like prep school — which Matty hated the very idea of — so Declan often preferred to tutor Matty himself. It usually ended up with thrown textbooks, screams and another promise of getting Matty a tutor but Matty didn't mind. His grades weren't as critical and he could still get into college, even if it wasn't an Ivy League like Declan would prefer.

In the worst-case scenario, Matty could help Ronan with the farm. Being a farmer was something that sounded like a nice way to make a living. Although that would probably give Declan a hernia.

Matty would usually come to the Barns for the weekend, unless he had other plans with his friends, and help Ronan around until Sunday Mass, after which they would eat dinner together and then Ronan would drive him to catch the bus to Washington or Declan would pick him up, if he was going to the Mass that week.

Most of the time, Adam was also there for at least some of his stay. Matty was pretty sure he moved in with Ronan a few months before and was just pretending he didn't have his own shelves in Ronan's wardrobe, or his own laptop in their dad's study, or the shoes on the porch, or the weird, super-caffeinated green tea, all for the sake of appearances.

When Matty arrived on Friday evening the day before and Ronan went to the bus station to pick him up, the first thing Matty saw at the Barns, was Adam, lying shirtless under a tractor.

It was the one in obnoxious yellow color that their dad used to say was his favorite and it hadn't worked since before their dad died. It was easy to forget Adam was a simple mechanic, as of right now, when he could talk in this weird, Declan-sque way when he sounded both like a teenage boy and a lawyer of twenty years. It was even weirder to remember that Adam was the one that finally coerced Ronan to set up a legitimate firm and pay all the necessary taxes on the property and invest in the modern stuff while Declan tried to do that since he heard Ronan was dropping out to become a farmer.

Matty didn't say anything to this because he was still feeling the wariness Ronan had when it came to the whole being gay thing. Declan said they should leave him alone with it until he was completely ready so Matty never said anything about anything Adam, or Ronan, or Adam and Ronan had done.

He wasn't complaining when Adam offered him to help with algebra while Ronan prepared dinner.

This was also what made Adam feel so familial very quickly — the obvious naturalness of the whole motion.

Matty didn't remember much of their father as he never had that much of contact with him. He supposed that if he did, his parents would probably be in the same position as Ronan and Adam — mom would be preparing dinner and dad would be helping one of his sons with homework. And as strange as the concept of Ronan taking their mom's place on the farm was, it was actually true. Their dad was away so often that throughout most of the year, their mom was the head of the farm and did most of the chores that living with animals and acres of land involved.

Adam didn't look much out of place either. Even though he was at the house more than their dad had — or so Matty assumed, since they were still lying about the moving in thing — despite constant school and work, he belonged there in a way that felt like he was born to live there.

Adam explained his homework, Ronan cooked spinach cream pasta. They ate dinner.

"I'll do the dishes," Adam offered.

"Shut up and sit down, Parrish," Ronan replied, with a tone that was more suited for love confessions or romantic songs.

"Ronan."

"You're not doing the dishes, you worked the whole day so sit on your ass for five minutes and do this thing we normal people love called rest."

Matty wouldn't exactly call any of them normal.

Adam sat down and sighed. He and Ronan had the exact same conversation every time Matty came for the weekend.

"But I'm doing the dishes next time."

Matty had never seen him do the dishes despite him saying it every time.

"Are you staying for the night?" Matty asked because he liked to indulge people — if Adam moving in was something they wanted to hide, then he would pretend it was still a secret.

There was banging on the back door, which was also in the kitchen. Ronan opened the door grumbling and Opal came through.

"Go wash up, munchkin," Ronan said, sounding very much like their mom.

Matty decided to focus on Adam, who admitted, "Yeah, I'll be staying for a couple of days."

By a couple, he probably meant forever but Matty didn't plan to call him out unless it'd be in the speech he was going to give at their wedding.

Opal came back from the bathroom with wet hair and even a wetter t-shirt.

He had never thought someone could sigh with a tone of a tired parent without actually being a tired parent but Adam did.

"Let's get you in your PJs, sugarplum."

Ronan stared after Adam with his hands still in the sink. Matty stared at him.

"What?" he asked when he finally turned his gaze away from Adam and Opal.

"Nothing."

They watched Fast and Furious until Opal fell asleep on the floor and Ronan took her to bed. Matty said goodnight and went to his room, clean of dust and dirty clothes like every weekend he was staying at the Barns and that was it.

Matty woke up in the early morning hours and went down to the kitchen. Adam was there, making coffee, with a book in one hand.

"Ronan is out?" he asked, instead of a greeting.

"Nah," Adam said. "I let him sleep in today and fed the chickens earlier. He doesn't sleep that well still, you know. Coffee?"

There was a lot to unpack in those words so instead of doing that, Matty said, "Yeah."

Lynches were very good at not addressing the obvious, really.

And so were Adam.

They drank their coffee, Adam left their empty mugs in the sink when the stairs creaked.

Adam put the kettle on again.

Ronan came through the door, with a well-rested face but sleepy eyes, looking just the same way he used to look on Christmas morning. He smiled in an easy manner that had become uncommon for him over time and went straight for Adam, halting an inch or two before his face. Adam's lips quirked when he leaned in his direction.

"Had a good sleep?"

Ronan's arms wound around his waist and said, "The bed was cold."

And then he closed the gap and kissed him, with Adam's palm curling around his nape in one smooth move.

One of the things Matty remembered clearly about their parents, as a single entity and not two separate people, was how affectionate they were. Their mom had a soft touch that worked on almost anyone but especially on their father — he had melted under her hands, melted into long hugs, longs stares, long kisses.

So Matty tried to look at his coffee instead of at Ronan and Adam because this kiss did feel like watching your parents, with the second-hand embarrassment and the general confusion, and he hadn't been quite ready for that.

"Morning breath, babe," Adam said, between breaths.

Ronan's lips were just in the corner of his mouth.

"Don't care."

And then Ronan's hand was moving lower and lower on Adam's waist, lifting his t-shirt, until his fingertips were dipping into the elastic band of Adam's pajamas and—

Matty cleared his throat. This was way more than kissing and way more than he wanted to ever see.

Adam stepped away from Ronan, seemingly as awkward as Matty felt on the inside.

"Sorry, Matty," he said.

And then, in a manner that was very much alike their dad's, Ronan said. "I'm not sorry."

[lokidiabolus]

Last Resort - Chapter 2

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Pairing: Thomas x Newt

Warnings: ex boyfriends, AU

Summary: Three years after breaking up with Thomas, Newt finally thought the past of hating each other was behind them, until Thomas asked him for a favour - pretend they got back together for a week while staying at his parents’ home. Because it was an absolutely dumb idea, Newt was inclined to refuse, but then found himself in the house he used to visit when he was in love and happy and the bitter reality of only pretending for people he always liked made him miserable. But it was nothing against dealing with Thomas himself for a week straight and trying not to fall back in love that hurt them both.

Or: Prompt ch. 192 with added spice. Or something. I just needed to write for a while :’)

Can be found on Ao3.

Notes: I think I never did so much rewriting like I did with this chapter. I'm still not satisfied with it, but I swear my brain just can't come up with anything else. Scrapped like 6 pages asdfjslfjslfjsdl. Now it's short :c

Anyway, guess I just wanted a bit of Thomas' insight for it. He's complicated lol. Or maybe not really, just trying to keep up. Don't we all though lol.

Oh and @izzymultifan (actually remembered)

Unbetad!

EDIT: (17. 5. 2021) I edited the ending with a lil continuation of the scene I previously deleted, because I thought it was unnecessary, but then I returned to it after few days and thought it should stay. It's not very long but I guess it's kinda important.

***

Thomas woke up disoriented, thirsty and definitely not rested enough, like when his alarm goes off on a workday and he only slept for four hours. But here was no alarm, no work, just him waking up with a flinch and realizing he wasn’t in his flat, and he wasn’t alone either.

The blond hair right in his face immediately pushed him into realization he was holding onto Newt like he was his lifeline, one hand under the shirt on his belly, other on his chest clutching the fabric, and an unmistakable morning hello tenting his pants, digging right into Newt’s backside. In retrospect there wasn’t much worse Thomas could have done to him, except maybe having a hand down his pants (which admittedly he used to do sometimes when they were together, but then again, that situation definitely didn’t scream murder like it would now).

In a sleepy confusion that hazed his just-woken-up-brain he searched the foggy memory on how this situation came to be, no matter how familiar it felt to him. Newt made himself pretty clear about sleeping together, so the sudden closeness – well, more like an absolute merge, unless he’d slip in – no, no dirty thoughts, bad Thomas, bad – didn’t make much sense.

The night came back to him embarrassingly slow – he got drunk because for some reason his dad decided to decimate his super precious whiskey, even though normally he hoarded it like a dragon his gold. He could only think of Newt being the incentive, drinking the whiskey so fast in his dad’s eyes, while Thomas downed it all to save him from barfing (Newt’s alcohol tolerance never existed in the first place, he disliked about any kind of it, and as far as Thomas remembered he got drunk only once with vodka mixed with orange juice on Aris’ wedding, because he could barely taste the vodka in it until it was too late). Then the world started spinning, Newt dragged him to his room somehow… which sounded farfetched, so maybe dad helped, he drew blank around that area honestly, probably because he stood up and all the alcohol began circulating faster. Then they talked… probably, and then Thomas fell asleep, since that’s all he could recall.

And now his hard-on was trying to get some, and he held Newt against himself with sheer ferocity of an obsessive hugger off his meds and the realization dawned on him like tons of bricks. Was he going to wake him up if he let go? Newt always woke up at the slightest noise before, there was no way of going to pee at night without getting back to the blond blinking owlishly at him, asking what happened. Was this Newt he barely knew anymore still the same? Still twitchy and light sleeper and grumpy and slow to rise when getting up?

Thomas didn’t have much choice anyway, did he. He just had to let go either way, and preferably remove his hips from Newt’s back and act like it was no biggie to be hard when in bed with his ex. He slowly untangled his hand from the front of Newt’s shirt and retreated from under the shirt as well with the other hand and managed to roll onto his back without Newt visibly stirring, which was a success. Unless he pretended to be asleep to avoid talking to Thomas about pushing into him like a horny teenager, which also worked.

Not like he hadn’t been doing that in the last month of their relationship anyway, just... ignoring the problem until it went away (a problem named Thomas) and well, ultimately it succeeded. It would work now too, and Thomas refused to poke the wasp nest this early in the morning – judging from the clock at 8:04 – and just went with the flow.

Need coffee, he thought unhappily when the headache set in. And water. Maybe some alone time in a bathroom first.

Newt didn’t stir until Thomas slinked out of the bedroom, which was a complete lie.

***

“Dad, just drop it,” Thomas repeated for fourth time when his dad couldn’t stop haggling him about his childlike alcohol tolerance the moment he appeared in the kitchen, asking for black coffee. He couldn’t tell him he drank Newt’s portions and without that argument nothing would sound plausible anyway, so he just dodged it with an increasing headache. Newt got up about half an hour later and didn’t speak a word to him – Thomas would even say he avoided his eyes several times, which meant he was absolutely awake in the morning to witness all of Thomas’ struggle to even exist around him peacefully. Which he couldn’t for years, really, so this only proved it.

It was fine. Thomas learned how to deal with it, despite taking him two years to come in terms of being hated by a person he loved since he was 17. Well, everything around the breakup took a lot from him, but he dealt with all eventually, right? He could finally look Newt in the eye without having all the incoherent anger and frustration pile up and he could talk to him fine as well unless they breached one of the thousand forbidden topics. Like them. Like family. Like love. Like sleeping. Like breathing, existing and fucking just trying to live.

Anyway. All dealt with, of course. No hard feelings.

(Lots of them.)

“You dealt with the drunkard just fine, right Newt?” his dad chattered towards the blond, patting him on his back and Newt forced a smile and a nod. Thomas saw this particular expression too often to not recognize it and huffed while sitting down at the counter with his own coffee.

He was used to being a bad guy anyway, no matter how much of the blame he genuinely deserved. They both knew he didn’t get drunk because he wanted to get wasted enough to drop unconscious on a spot and Newt would be a hypocrite to badmouth him when he was pouring all his whiskey to Thomas’ glass with thankful expression yesterday. But then again, not even he could tell Thomas’ dad about it, so they just had to have this unspoken oh yes, Thomas is a real piece of work as always.

Which sort of sucked. But Thomas couldn’t care less what his dad thought about his alcohol tolerance, it wasn’t like he threw up everywhere or broke mum’s precious bowls set (again). Not that he expected Newt to defend him anyhow, but he could at least say nooo, he was fine, he just fell asleep or something. Not that it surprised him he didn’t, but…

“He used to drink majority of guys from my work under the table and now look at him,” his dad delivered his fifth Thomas can’t drink for shit jab. He sure loved to milk that. “At least he has you to look after him, huh.”

Thomas stared at Newt’s back with mild annoyance the more the blond refused to elaborate on anything, just smiling at his dad while making himself a cup of coffee, and then Thomas’s eyes suddenly fell on the nape of Newt’s neck with a vicious, red mark near the hairline, and his whole body seized up like he got paralyzed.

A hickey? Since when? From who? What? Wait, was Newt already dating somebody else?

Saying already like three years were short amount of time… Thomas mentally scolded himself and his body raised up on its own volition, like being pulled in by some invisible force towards the blond. He had no clue if it were a twisted need for revenge or vindication or just him being unable to come in terms of not being told or warned, or maybe all of it together, he just couldn’t stop and plastered himself all over Newt’s back, trapping him between his body and the counter, circling his thin waist like a vine (he got thinner for sure).

“Of course I have you, don’t I,” he purred into Newt’s ear, loud enough for his dad to hear perfectly, and felt how Newt’s whole body froze, his hand mid-stir of the coffee. Thomas could see how his Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped. “Looking after me when I get hammered into unconsciousness.”

“Yeah.” Newt’s voice sounded small, and Thomas wanted to bite down at that red, angry place on his nape like an animal. His dad probably wouldn’t appreciate it, but his ego sure would. He let his hands slide lower, to Newt’s hips, grabbing a handful, and the habitual movement made him restless. He did it zillion times during the time they were together. He did less, he did more, naked, clothed, lying, standing up, in whatever situation, touching Newt was his privilege.

And some fucking horny prick just took it?

Just marked his boyfriend – ex-boyfriend, Thomas, ex-boyfriend for three years, pull yourself together, you’re not 17 anymore – like a property and he didn’t even fucking notice?

Newt’s breath hitched and the spoon he was holding dropped into the coffee, splashing the black liquid around it, dribbling down the drawers under, making the blond curse under his breath.

“Sorry,” he immediately said towards Thomas’ dad who was handing him a cloth to wipe it with, and started squirming. “Thomas, leggo. Can’t reach.”

“Don’t wanna,” Thomas refused, squeezing Newt even tighter. “I’m hangover and miserable and you’re supposed to take care of me.”

Thomas’ dad snorted but took the hint and retreated while calling at his wife the boys are being rowdy again, Anna! And the kitchen fell back into silence, except of their breathing, with Thomas plastered against Newt’s back like he wanted to topple him over (he sort of did).

“Do you enjoy being a bloody prick?” Newt finally broke the spell, pawing at Thomas’ hands to get them off, his voice an angry whisper. “What’s your deal, for fuck’s sake!”

“Hangover,” Thomas huffed, not letting go and to be completely honest, Newt wasn’t really trying as much, just slapping his hands half-heartedly. “Could’ve at least said I didn’t give you any trouble, I covered for you the whole night.”

“You gave me loads of it!” Newt started wiggling, and Thomas had to fight the urge to just bite down, mark any piece of skin available, to make the restlessness go away. “You were heavy as fuck, I had to carry you all the way to your room!”

“Yeah, and?” Thomas grabbed him lower, and Newt pinched his hand in revenge, which finally made him let go with sharp breath.

“Fuck you,” the blond barked at him with fiery eyes. “I don’t know what you are trying to prove but groping me is not on the bloody table, get it?!”

“Mhm,” Thomas rubbed the place Newt pinched him at. “Sure. No fun allowed, got it.”

“Fuck off!”

Thomas hated how Newt turned away and the hickey was so visible it made his insides churn. He used to talk about his problems a lot these past few years, so he could finally let go of whatever was holding him in place, unable to forget, and he thought he reached that point, that he was free.

Looking at Newt marked by another man… no. He was not. Still stuck, still the same.

Still angry and miserable.

Still… there.

***

The fact Newt refused to talk to him completely was an understatement. Thomas blamed his unsteady approach on the alcohol, because what else he could blame it on – his own feelings? He sodealt with those already, there was nothing that would make him see red.

Except of a hickey on his ex-boyfriend’s neck, that would do it. Apparently.

But still – it was the hangover that made him stupid, right. If he’d be completely sober and not aching anywhere and his mind clear, he would just… shrug at it. It was Newt’s business who he slept with or not, or who he let bite his nape like a dog (some young fucking idiot who thought hickeys are still sexy? Stupid shit).

Not Thomas’. Not anymore.

The more he tried to push it away from his mind, the more his mind pushed back, just pointing it out loudly every time he glanced towards the blond sitting on the couch in the living room, bundled in a fluffy blanket, fiddling with his phone.

He was fiddling with his phone a lot actually. Texting somebody?

The guy who left the mark?

Thomas felt the irrational anger seep into his consciousness again and he forced it back down with a frown. He knew asking Newt to help him to get his parents off his back wasn’t exactly a great idea (asking ex to be your bf again for a show just screamed trouble), but at the same time asking anybody else just felt… wrong.

Thomas had to admit he’d be able to go along with this only with Minho, probably. Because Minho was a born actor, he’d be able to breeze though this with ease and Thomas’ parents would like him for sure, because, well, everybody liked Minho, honestly.

Asking Teresa or Brenda was just… desperate. Because other than them it would be Newt and getting back together with Newt… well. Thomas could tell from the moment he saw him getting into his car in front of Newt’s workplace it was going to be tough for both of them.

Not much of a surprise so far climbing Mt. Everest would be easier than keeping his chaotic feelings under control.

“You need some fresh air,” his vision of Newt got obstructed by his mum in a frilly apron she wore unironically and he looked up to her with half-lidded eyes.

“I think I need chicken soup, actually,” he offered in response, because dragging himself through the snow outside now sounded like a death penalty.

“Air first,” she insisted, adamant, and turned towards Newt like an executioner. “Right, Newt? A walk would do him good.”

Newt looked at Thomas and Thomas just knew. He was doomed. Newt was going to betray him like Scar did with Mufasa and he’d enjoy it, he could see the glint in his eyes, just shining there, spelling revenge in big, neon letters.

Please, he mouthed at the blond in desperation and Newt tilted his head to the side and then his mouth curled up.

“Sure, that’s a great idea, Anna,” he signed the death certificate without an ounce of shame and relished in it.

Fuck you, Thomas mouthed again, and Newt sent him a condescending smile. Fuck him especially.

***

“You’re unusually quiet,” his mum casually pointed out like she didn’t just drag him out to cold ass weather while holding a knife (butter one, but that’s what made it scarier), despite his very vocal (or vocal sort of, too loud and his brain wanted out of his skull) protests.

“Hungover,” he reminded her bitterly. The snow under their feet crunched sharply and the noise was tearing his brain to pieces, like walking on a broken glass and he had no idea how much longer he’d be able to act like it wasn’t killing him.

“Well, it was nice of you to cover for him,” Anna shrugged like she didn’t just blew their cover with a killer one liner and Thomas probably shouldn’t have been as surprised. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink.”

“That’s cuz he can’t drink for shit,” he mumbled with a frown. “Did dad notice?”

“No,” she shook her head. “He was too busy boasting about the partnership. It’s been some time since I’ve seen him so happy, you know how he hoards the whiskey otherwise.”

“Yeah, cheapskate,” Thomas snorted, and the noise sliced his brain painfully, like an instant karma.

“Think he was happy about Newt being back too,” she hit the nail on the head a bit too close to home and Thomas hated how his stomach lurched at it. “Well, you know him.”

“Sure is happy for not getting any grandkids,” he just grumbled and Anna patted him on his back.

“We still have Hannah,” she reminded him sweetly. “Maybe one day she’ll feel like having kids and force you to babysit for her two times a week.”

“Me? You’re going to be the grandparents, it’s your obligation to babysit!” The idea of taking care of Hannah’s kids made him scared for life, and they didn’t even exist yet.

“Pretty sure Newt wouldn’t mind,” she chirped happily, and Thomas loathed how right she probably was. Newt never really showed any kind of real interest in having kids or anything, but he never minded babysit for his own sister, and generally all the kids liked him.

Not that thinking about that had any merit anyway, since they split up with a point of no return. Maybe Newt already planned kids with the new person who left the distasteful hickey on his nape, or the person who he kept texting, and the more Thomas thought about it, the more his chest burned.

“Cherish him a bit more, would you,” she poked his arm. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you have some beef between you. Had an argument before coming here?”

Why the fuck is she so perceptive?

“A bit,” he answered quietly. “No biggie.”

“Set things right,” she plainly ordered him like he was ten again and had do her bidding. “I don’t want another sad Christmas.”

There isn’t going to be any Christmas for us, he wanted to tell her, but kept his mouth shut. At this rate, there wasn’t going to be anything for them, at all.

I really need some sleep.

***

Not very often did the morning come so peacefully, like a gentle spring washing over tired soul, leaving it invigorated. Thomas basked in the pleasantness of it, a quiet, warm and relaxed moment where he slowly woke up from a dream into reality still welcoming and soft like he never left the fantasy realm.

He took a deep breath, stretching, slowly coming to realize of contours of another body pressed into him, and under his hands and around his legs and under his chin. The soft blond hair came to view when he opened his eyes, with Newt draped around him needily, and his heart melted.

The first night in their flat. Their home. A place that only belonged to them, these walls and floors, and small kitchen and big windows, for them together. It came true, finally, inevitably, for Thomas to have Newt all for himself, to share his mornings, his evenings, his life with him. Nothing else could make him happier.

“You already up?” came a sleepy rumble from Newt’s chest, the hands holding Thomas’ waist slowly moved up, to his back, pushing them even closer together.

“Just woke up,” Thomas kissed the top of the blond strands, his own hands traveling over Newt’s back, right onto his butt, kneading it.

“Mmmm.” Approving sound doubled his endeavour and then Newt was slowly grinding to him, lazily, his lips stretched in a smile, reaching to pamper Thomas’ neck with small kisses. “This sure is nice, huh.”

“Love it,” Thomas agreed with the sentiment while grabbing Newt’s thigh and hiking it up over his hip. The blond softly moaned at the contact and Thomas pushed more into it, completely awake and needy and allowed. There was nobody that could hear them, scold them or gasp in shock like a puritan at them making out – just them, two lovers in their home, free to make love any time they wanted.

And Thomas wanted too much.

***

He never stopped wanting.

He woke to his room bathing in shadows, with the blanket twisted between his legs, his headache still present, even though in weaker state than in the morning, and his body wasn’t any less sluggish. The walk with his mum didn’t help him much, just added to his misery with freezing cold and nagging reality he couldn’t play this game any longer, which made him feel empty and unhappy.

He didn’t feel this unhappy in a while, it usually only came back when he heard of Newt about a year after the breakup. Every time his ex came back to his life, even when somebody only mentioned him in a passing conversation, Thomas’ chest set off that painful pang in it, like a trigger just waiting to be pressed, and he fell back into hollow kind of depression.

He got rid of it, somehow. He built walls around himself, he locked all of his twisted personality traits and pushiness and hateful behaviour away, he spent years searching for more he could fix, for all that made Newt unhappy with him, what made him leave Thomas after seven years without really talking about it.

He thought he managed to become a better person. He believed he could change the way he acted. He hoped if he ever talked to Newt again, at any point of their lives, he would be at least able to show him he wasn’t that ungrateful, lousy boyfriend anymore, that they could at least be friends. Somehow. Just talk normally. Just… exist in the same room without… Newt making that anguished face, like it hurt him still.

Thomas tried. But failed. Maybe it was just recurring theme of his life – to touch something wonderful, to taste true happiness, just to fuck it all up and lose it.

Maybe he was just obsessive. Suffocating.

Maybe making mistakes were rooted too deep in him to get rid of.

Maybe… it was simply impossible.

***

Newt was playing games with Hannah in the living room when Thomas came back down. Hannah made fun of him for sleeping all day like an old guy and his mum said something about hoping he didn’t catch a cold and gave him a bowl of chicken soup.

The strange, unattached feeling stayed with him since he woke up, and only doubled when he saw Newt’s neck marked by some fucker on display. His stomach churned at the implication there was this unknown guy waiting for Newt to come back home, who kept impatiently sending him texts that made Newt frown and smile in turns, like he just slowly sunk back into the problem they never resolved. Thomas felt disgusted with himself, and angry, and, when it came to it, immensely tired.

“Oh, you have the whole week free?” his mum asked suddenly, breaking Thomas’ bubble of trying to eat the soup like a mental case of lobotomy, and he realized there had been a conversation going in meantime and he didn’t catch any of it. Newt wasn’t playing the game anymore, though Hannah still furiously pressed buttons on her controller, and instead of it sat on the couch, turned towards Thomas’ mum at the table.

“Yeah, thought getting out of the city might do me good,” he answered her with a soft smile and the idea of another week like this sent Thomas into desperate mode. Even though it was him who forced Newt to take whole week off, because… he only had bad ideas, obviously.

“But there’s bit of a rush now, right?” he entered the conversation impulsively and Newt glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “At work. Christmas and all that being close.”

“Yeah, it’s… a bit hectic,” the blond admitted, making Thomas’ mum go aww. “There’s lots of people taking vacations they didn’t spend yet, so we usually work crunch time.”

“Yeah, kind of same,” Thomas added. It wasn’t really a lie. But not the truth either. “And I know I said a week, but I’ve got some texts from work already, thought of going back tomorrow instead.”

Newt stared at him with an evident confusion, but Thomas knew at this rate they were going to crash and burn again if they stayed, and he didn’t want that. He couldn’t even trust himself to keep it civil when his blood boiled like in a bull taunted with red flag.

Except the red flag was an unknown nobody on the other side of the line of Newt’s phone.

And bed.

“Uh,” came from the blond. “No, wait. What? You…”

“We can visit again during Christmas,” Thomas offered a big fat lie, he almost bit his tongue at it. Christmas were a taboo, he knew mentioning it were already risky, but it gave him an out with his mum, so that worked at least. “When it’s calmer.”

“When is what calmer?” Newt still stared, Thomas said almost disbelieving, and he just prayed for him to play along and not act like he knew nothing about it.

“Work,” he answered stiffly. Too stiffly, he realized, since Newt’s eyes narrowed.

“Uh oh,” he heard Hannah interject, which meant he already failed in the mission to make this believable. Fuck.

“I need a smoke,” the blond announced instead of reacting and stood up sharply. Then shot Thomas a badly masked glare. “Keep me company?”

He wanted to say no but couldn’t when his whole family watched them like during tennis match. So he just nodded and followed Newt outside of the house while feeling like slapping himself.

***

“Care to explain or am I supposed to guess.”

The cigarette was lit, its fiery tip shone bright in the darkness of the porch once the automatic light shut itself because they weren’t moving like they rooted in the wooden floor. Newt was wearing his coat and Thomas only stood there in the long-sleeved shirt, which in retrospect was probably a mistake.

“I did explain,” Thomas said. “Just thought about work-,”

“No, you didn’t,” Newt stopped him immediately while crossing one of his arms on his chest while other held the cigarette like a weapon. “You said a week, so I took a week off. I’m not bloody leaving now. It’s my vacation.”

“I also said three days would probably be enough,” Thomas asserted. “And they are. I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“Why?” the blond demanded. “It’s not like I suffer here. I like this place. What’s your problem?”

That kind of question had no easy answer and Thomas held Newt’s eyes only for few seconds, before looking away.

“Am I the problem?” came another question, even sharper. “You just can’t stand me anymore, so you want to leave?”

“You know that’s bullshit,” Thomas scoffed. “Since when did I ever-,”

“No, I don’t know!” Newt interrupted him with raised voice and Thomas flinched. “I don’t bloody know anything about you anymore! You brought me here and expected what? War? Did you want us to fail?”

“Why would I want us to fail?” Thomas’ eyes widened in a shock. “What kind of fucked up logic would that be?!”

“I don’t know!” Newt barked. The cigarette he was holding was slowly fading away, the ash falling everywhere how he moved his hand. “But something’s up since this morning, so obviously you’re lying about work and I want to know why!”

Well, finding out his ex-boyfriend had a lover, or a sex friend or whatever the other person was definitely served as a wake-up call. Thomas couldn’t overlook it – he thought he’d be fine with anything, it had been years, but one fucking hickey and some fleeting texts and he just had the rising urge to tear the walls he built down and get angry and make Newt inevitably miserable, which he despised.

He fucking loathed it. And himself. And everything around him.

“Why did you even agree to come here?” he couldn’t help but demand. “Why did you even bother playing this stupid game when you have somebody home? You trying to make him jealous or it’s just your thing?”

Accusing – stupid Thomas, fucking idiot, just talk normally, what’s wrong with you – as always.

“What?” Newt’s eyes shot up, wide in honest surprise. His cheeks were red from the cold, or maybe embarrassment, Thomas didn’t know. “What are you talking about?”

“About that hickey on your neck?” Thomas pointed towards the incriminated spot and Newt’s whole body went rigid.

“A hickey…?” Newt’s free hand was touching the place now, his voice shocked. “You… ugh.”

“Look, it’s not my business, clearly,” Thomas rubbed his eyes tiredly, desperately trying to make an excuse for his own consciousness why he couldn’t look at Newt. “But obviously it’s causing you trouble with him, so. As I said. Three days are fine, we can leave now. Go back home. Forget about this.”

And forget about me trying to corner you, and me getting hard in the bed with you this morning, and me sounding jealous and lame, and me… just for being me.

“Are you fucking with me?” Newt’s voice sounded disbelieving. “Are you bloody serious right now? A hickey from some random guy appeared over night here? That’s what you’re saying?”

Overnight…?

“Overnight?” he asked a little dumbly, which forced him to look Newt in the eyes, where he saw hell unleashed. It made his throat squeeze almost hard enough to suffocate him.

“You think I just popped back home for a quickie, then back to your bed in the morning like a bloody Cinderella?” the blond seethed, the cigarette in his hand morphing into a protentional weapon of choice. “Where did that even came for, for fuck’s sake? You’d been seeing me for two days, never noticed anything, and then suddenly your Esmeralda syndrome got cured or what?”

“But-,”

“You bloody drunk fucker,” Newt took a step towards him and Thomas found himself hitting the entrance door with his back, when he automatically tried to back out. “Should have known your bird brain won’t remember anything.”

The realization hit Thomas like tons of bricks right in his face, able to cause heavy concussion if it were real.

“I did this?!”

“No, the bloody sucker behind you, who the fuck do you think?!” Newt’s voice was harsh, but Thomas could only hear the bare fact he made a hickey of size of Texas on his ex-boyfriend’s nape while spending the next day being jealous… of himself.

“What the fuck,” he breathed out with an ugly relief flooding his veins, which was all sorts of wrong. Being relieved over attacking his ex at night definitely did not count as a good point in anybody’s book. “What the fuck.”

“Calmer now?” Newt sighed in exasperation and Thomas couldn’t say he was. It just opened door to another set of bad he had to deal with.

“I attacked you when drunk?” he asked quietly, and Newt blinked in surprise.

“Attacked?” he repeated and then barked out a laugh. “No, you really didn’t. You were drunk out of your mind, for fuck’s sake.”

“I see.”

“Didn’t think it left anything,” the blond sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as if in memory, which was kind of hot – no Thomas, it was not hot, but embarrassing, shut up -. “I mean you just munched on me a little, then fell back asleep. No harm done.”

“You made a fuss about us sleeping in one bed but it’s no biggie when I leave a hickey?” Thomas couldn’t help but laugh a little and Newt’s face showed signs of hesitation.

“Look…” he tried after a moment, the cigarette in his hand nearly gone. “I… don’t know, you were just sleeping while holding me, it doesn’t mean anything-,”

“And that’s fine with you?” It was Thomas’ turn to interrupt him, and Newt looked a little lost for a moment.

“I suppose that’s fine with me, yeah,” he admitted slowly.

Thomas looked at his shoes, taking in a deep breath. He couldn’t deny the knot forming in his belly over the day already started easing off, for purely selfish reasons he had, but at the same time his head became even a bigger mess than before.

“So what does it mean?” he asked after a while. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, I thought… you’d rather leave than stay with me longer, after today, but…”

“I want to stay,” Newt answered immediately. “Unless you really don’t want me here. Then no, of course. I had the same problem the first day, feeling all kinds of weird and jumpy. I guess I just sort of dealt with it. Stepped out of my comfort zone and all that.”

“Sorry you had to.”

It wasn’t like Thomas wanted Newt to change anyhow by doing this favour for him. But he’d also be a hypocrite if he didn’t admit he wished Newt to feel good here. With him. Selfishly, hopelessly. Like before, like they were okay. Like they still… liked each other. At least a little.

He knew that kind of hope was self-destructive and harmful, but he didn’t stop loving this man three years ago, after going through an immensely rough patch, so he wouldn’t stop loving him now for no reason either.

“No need to be sorry,” Newt interrupted his thoughts with much softer tone than Thomas expected. “I mean even despite it’s you, you didn’t really do anything bad yet.”

“Wow,” Thomas snorted. “Way to ruin the mood, boyfriend.”

“I try,” Newt grinned, and it seemed like the tense mood dissipated and they both relaxed enough to breathe easier. Thomas possibly wouldn’t even notice he had been so strung up until now, if the huge boulder of irrational fear of fucking up didn’t fall off his shoulders with a bang.

“And just for the record,” Newt added while finally inhaling the last puff from the already burned-out cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray. “I noticed you digging into me in the morning.”

“Of course you did…” Thomas banged the back of his head against door in utter shame. “Because universe hates me, and you had to fucking wake up.”

“Yeah, well,” Newt let out a small shrug. “I got hard at night, if it makes you feel any better. Let’s call it even.”

“What.”

“Had a real nice dream,” the blond casually announced like he was ordering pie with no filling and Thomas was a stupefied cashier at Costa Cafe. “Woke up with you being handsy with me. Tried to scramble away, cue for you to make the hickey and fall back asleep.”

“Uh.”

“1:1, right?” The sly smile Newt’s mouth produced did things to Thomas’ underbelly and before he even caught himself, he automatically reached out and grabbed Newt’s side.

Fuck.

“Pretty lousy score,” he just said – bad Thomas, stop making a pass at your ex -, “That’s no match whatsoever.”

Newt glanced at his hand resting on his waist and then back to Thomas with a thoughtful hum.

“I’m not that good at sports,” he just said, looking back into Thomas’ eyes. “But you might be onto something.”

Thomas took a deep breath and risked the second hand grabbing other side of Newt’s waist, pulling him closer. The layers of clothing made him dissatisfied, no matter how cold it was and how his skin already felt like ice, he just wanted to get under the coat and the sweater and the shirt and make Newt react somehow. The blond just silently watched him, let him do whatever he wanted, and somehow it felt like a test and Thomas was scared of failing it.

“That’s it?” Newt broke the tense silence around them when Thomas just stood there, holding him.

“Thinking,” the brunet mumbled with a frown.

“About?”

“How to touch you without it being classified as groping,” he moved his hands a little lower as an experiment, getting no reaction. “Since it’s off the table.”

“Pfff.”

He hesitated, then gingerly let go of one side and reached for the zipper lodged under Newt’s chin, keeping the coat closed like a fortress. His hand barely cooperated with how frozen it was, but Newt still didn’t stop him and that encouraged him unfairly.

“Newt.”

“Yeah?” the blond’s voice was quiet and close to his face.

“What’s with all the texting?” He kept holding the zippier between his fingers like he couldn’t decide, and Newt made a soft huh? noise in the back of his throat.

“You were on your phone the whole day,” Thomas lowered his voice to almost a whisper. “Is there somebody…?”

A sigh. Thomas let go of the zipper.

“That’s Alby,” came a reply and if Thomas wasn’t already propped against the door, he’d take a step back. There was nowhere to run now, so he just let go of the blond completely, nodding.

“He’s my partner,” another string of words Thomas comprehended but wished he didn’t. “A bit demanding one.”

“Sounds like it,” he just commented, staring at his feet until Newt’s shoes came into view as well when he stepped closer.

Seriously testing me. That’s-

“A bit cruel,” he breathed out with a puff of white smoke and Newt pushed further and pressed his mouth against Thomas’. His cold lips lingered for a moment before parting, their breaths mingling, and Thomas’ heart fought really hard to get out of his chest and run away. The proximity was non-existent, Newt stood so close their chests were touching, and his eyes were so dark, and pupils blown wide Thomas got easily lost in them.

He always did. Nothing had changed.

“You look cold,” Newt whispered to his lips, hovering so close their mouths gently touched when they took a breath.

“Freezing,” Thomas answered in daze, holding back only by a miracle. He wanted to reach out and pull the blond man flush against him, to grind into him, to kiss him so deep his toes would curl, and he’d buck up, he just wanted so much it made him suffer.

“Alby’s my colleague,” Newt dropped quietly. “Funnily… you weren’t wrong about work being in a rush now. He’s struggling a little. Wanted to know my opinion.”

A colleague. And nothing else?

“Nothing else,” Newt answered like he could read his mind and then sagged against Thomas’ body like the energy just left him, resting his head on Thomas’ shoulder.

“I thought I can handle being this close to you,” he heard him mumbling into his shirt. “But the more I am, the less I can fight it.”

“I thought I can handle you dating somebody else,” Thomas added to it while letting his head fall back against the door with a dull thud. “But obviously not. It’s scary. I don’t want to fuck it up again.”

“Yeah,” Newt agreed with him. “Me neither.”

He wasn’t sure if this had been some sort of consensus they reached, or just a fling that happened because they were both lonely, but Thomas didn’t want to let go – even though he should have, logically, to protect them both. The pain they caused to each other three years ago was still there and festering under their skins, but the more Newt was pressed into him, breathing softly, the more Thomas noticed his reason slowly creeped away, like a thief in the night disappearing with loot.

But he wanted. For fuck’s sake how he wanted to just hold him close and promise him love and eternal happiness, and the scary part was he couldn’t promise shit. His love was real, but not unconditional, happiness was fleeting and simply relying on both of them and the rest of the world deciding whatever to fuck them up or not.

But…

“I give up,” he mumbled, weary to the bone. At Newt’s soft hm? he just sighed. “It’s fucking cold.”

The blond barked out a laugh, but nodded and let go of him, immediately taking all the warmth away.

“Then shall we assure them we’re not breaking up again?” he nodded towards the door and without waiting for Thomas’ reply he already reached for the handle. “Or not leaving tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” the brunet conceded. “Hannah’s going to be milking this for the rest of the week…”

“Serves you right,” Newt laughed quietly while opening the door and Thomas kept the answer to himself.

We’re not breaking up again rang in his head like a bell, deafening his reason even further. Newt didn’t protest when he reached for his hand on their way inside, and he wondered if his heart was ready for another trial.

He ignored the uncertainty and took a leap of faith.

[ddixons-angel]

Fated: Season 4

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff)

A/N: I’m gonna sound like such a broken record in my author notes for each chapter of at least half of Season 4, but I am really nervous about these next few chapters >~< I don’t know why, I just feel really insecure about the original idea that happens next.. sighhh please let me know what you think!!

Chapter 3

Letting the dagger fall out of her hands, Gloria runs over to Daryl as he falls from the gunshot. She kneels down next to him, letting him lean back against her. Daryl groans at the pain in his shoulder and Gloria grabs his bag with the bandages they had scavenged earlier. 

“Here, let me.” Gloria says, her voice soft.

She gently moves the collar of his shirt to the side to inspect the wound, relief flooding through her when she sees that it was only a graze to his shoulder. Gloria starts to patch up his wound when Glenn and Maggie run up to them, holding their rifles with worried expressions.

“Hey, you guys okay?” Maggie asks, a little out of breath.

Daryl nods as Gloria finishes up with his injury, “yeah, we’re okay.”

He gets up from the ground with Gloria holding his arm, she’d also picked up his crossbow, refusing to let him hold the weapon when he was hurt. Glenn picks up Gloria’s dagger she had dropped then looks at his pocket watch.

“It’s gonna be 12 soon, we should get going.” he calls out to the rest of them.

The others nod and pick up their bags and start heading back out to where they had parked the car. Glenn opens the trunk to the car and places his bag inside, waiting for the others to do the same with their bags. He slams the trunk closed then hands Gloria her dagger back but not without shooting her a scolding look. Gloria sighs, knowing exactly what this was about then goes to join Daryl in the back seat of the car. Glenn starts the car and the group is silent on the drive back to the prison. Throughout the ride, Glenn keeps glancing in the rearview mirror to Gloria when he isn’t able to hold it in any longer.

“What the hell was that?” Glenn blurts out in Korean, causing all three of the others to look at him, Maggie and Daryl’s faces full of confusion.

“What?” Gloria rolls her eyes as she replies in Korean, annoyed that he’s choosing to do this now.

“I saw you, you were going to stab yourself! What the hell was that?!” Glenn fumes, getting visibly more angry. 

“What choice did I have? They were going to kill him!” Gloria retorts, referring to Daryl.

Maggie looks back and gives Daryl a ‘what do we do’ look and Daryl shifts and shrugs at her as the siblings keep fighting. It didn’t help that they didn’t know what they were even saying so they couldn’t diffuse the situation either. 

“You were gonna kill yourself then, is that it? What if we didn’t come in time to save you, you could be seriously hurt right now!” Glenn yells as he drives. 

“I knew what I was doing!” Gloria yells back, done with this conversation.

“No you didn’t! You were going to kill yourself to save someone else!” he points out, his face turning red.

“And you would have done the exact same for her!” Gloria calls him out, referring to Maggie, knowing it’s true. 

Glenn grips tightly on the steering wheel, fuming from their argument but says nothing else. Sensing that it was the end of their heated discussion, Maggie reaches out and puts her hand on Glenn’s arm, a soft smile on her face wanting to somehow soothe him without words. Gloria turns her attention to Daryl, he’d been looking out the window while chewing on his thumbnail. She sighs at his habit, knowing he only did it when he felt really uncomfortable. She reaches out to him, taking the hand of the thumb he’d been chewing.

“You okay?” Gloria asks in a hushed whisper.

Daryl nods, looking at her, squeezing her hand in reassurance. Glenn waits for Carl to open the gate to the prison before driving onto the premises, towards the building. Once the car is parked, the four of them get out of the car, Glenn and Gloria glaring at each other. 

“You’re not going on anymore runs.” Glenn tells her in English before popping open the trunk and taking a few bags with him into the building.

Gloria, still annoyed and angry at him, rolls her eyes and grabs the remainder of the bags from the trunk, slamming it down to a hard close before following Glenn into the building. Maggie and Daryl share a look of not knowing what to do before they both follow the siblings into their home. 

Hershel greets Glenn with a smile when he sees him walk into the main area outside the cell block but his smile is replaced with a confused frown when he notices Glenn and now Gloria’s expressions. The two had put the bags on one of the tables, both crossing their arms and looking away from each other. Daryl and Maggie make their way into the room, everyone’s attention drawn to the four who had just walked in. 

“Maggie, what happened?” Hershel asks, turning to his daughter as he knows he wouldn’t be getting a proper answer from either sibling. 

“We ran into some thugs on our run and they tried to steal Gloria and Daryl’s things.” Maggie explains.

The story causes Carol to walk up to the group, “are you all okay?”

Daryl nods but Gloria looks at him, guilt written all over her face, “Daryl... got shot.” 

“What?!” Nina pipes up and rushes over to him, “oh my God, are you okay?”

“‘M fine.” Daryl says, backing away from Nina before she can touch him, “was jus’ a graze.”

“Hershel, can you check on him?” Gloria says and adds before Daryl can protest, “I was an emotional mess when I patched him up, I just want to make sure.” 

Daryl sighs at her words, and Hershel nods, both of them understanding, “come with me, Daryl.”

Hershel starts walking first and Daryl hesitates until he catches Gloria’s eyes, giving in when he sees her eyes welling with tears. He walks past her to follow Hershel, but not before giving her a small hug and a kiss on her forehead. The group had turned the infirmary into an actual doctor’s office rather than having Hershel, Gloria or Caleb, a doctor from Woodbury, check on people in their cells. Carol goes up to Gloria and puts a hand on her shoulder for comfort. Gloria forces a small smile for the older woman, nodding at her. 

“So, how did you guys get caught up with the thugs anyway?” Sasha asks, genuinely curious, leaning on the wall.

“We split up to cover more ground, and they ambushed me and Daryl when we were done raiding a pharmacy.” Gloria says, looking down feeling ashamed of being so careless. 

“Daryl wouldn’t get caught off guard like that, it must have been your fault.” Nina says, glaring and pointing at Gloria, “you distracted him.”

“That’s not how Daryl is!” Carol says, frowning at the other girl.

“Really? Then tell me how on every single run Daryl goes on, he comes back perfectly fine but the one time he goes with Gloria, he gets hurt?” Nina counters Carol’s defense. 

Sasha scoffs at her, crossing her arms, “you wanna know why? Because shit happens. It doesn’t matter if it’s his first time going on a run with or without Gloria.” 

“Why are you so adamant on blaming her, anyway?” Carol takes the chance to call Nina out on her actions.

“Because I know that Daryl isn’t careless or reckless, but I can’t say the same about her!” Nina shouts. 

Her words hit Gloria like a brick. She thinks back to when they were scavenging the pharmacy, Daryl had already tried to warn her about hearing something outside but she just brushed him off. If she had listened, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. 

“She’s right... it was my fault.” Gloria sighs, looking down, not able to face any one of them.

Carol’s eyes soften as she looks at Gloria, “no, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, Carol, it was.” Gloria finally looks up at her, “I... Daryl warned me that he heard something when we were in the pharmacy but I... I didn’t listen...”

Nina hides a smirk as she scoffs, “I don’t think you should go on any more runs, for everyone else’s safety.”

“That’s not for you to decide.” Carol says, eyeing Nina. 

“Glenn already decided that when we got back.” Gloria says in a small voice, making Carol turn her attention to Glenn, looking at him disapprovingly.

“I-I... that’s not what I meant!” Glenn stutters to defend himself. 

Gloria shrugs, trying to play it off, “it doesn’t matter... I should go tend to my shift.” 

Glenn watches helplessly and guiltily as Gloria walks out the building to go to her 'shift' on the fence. They all knew that she didn’t have a shift, when she agreed to go on the run, she’d passed them off to Tyreese. She just wanted to be alone, let out her emotions by killing some walkers. Gloria spends at least an hour killing walkers on the fence when Daryl approaches her. He doesn’t call out to her or anything, he watches for a moment then starts to help her clear out the walkers on the fence. She turns to him when she notices he’s out there with her.

“You shouldn’t be out here, you need to rest.” Gloria holds his forearm, stopping him from moving.

“Told ya, ‘m fine. It’s jus’ a graze anyway, ya saw it.” Daryl says, “‘nd ya shouldn’ be out here either, ya don’ have a shift.”

Gloria sighs and nods, “I know...” 

Daryl places his hand on the one that’s already on his forearm, he hesitates to speak then sighs, “Glenn’s right... I don’ want ya going on runs anymore either.”

There’s a tear at her heart at his words. The realization that Daryl had blamed her for getting hurt weighed heavily on her and there was only one thing she could really do about it. 

“Okay...” Gloria says, looking down and nodding.

Daryl furrows his brows in confusion; acceptance was not one of the reactions he’d expected from her. He expected her to get mad at him like she did with Glenn. He had been dreading an argument with her over the restriction. Her accepting it so easily was not like her, and even though they weren’t yelling at each other, Gloria being so quiet and compliant worried him even more.

“Ya sure you’re okay with not going on runs anymore?” Daryl asks, his thumb caressing her knuckles.

Of course she wasn’t, but she’d caused enough.

“Yeah...” Gloria sighs and forces a smile on her face as she looks up at Daryl, “it’s for the best, right?”

He gently grabs her arm and pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, cradling the back of her head in his hand. Gloria snuggles into his embrace, snaking her arms around his torso. 

“I just want ya safe.” Daryl whispers in her ear.

Gloria just nods, accepting it although she knew he was using her safety as an excuse to comfort her. For the sake of everyone else who went on runs, she wouldn’t go on runs anymore. That’s how she would be able to protect her family, it was the only way she knew she wouldn’t cause any more damage. 

---

Next Chapter

As I said before, I don’t know whether this chapter or the future events will be liked by you guys, maybe it’s the fact that I made Nina such an annoying little shit... lol please let me know what you thought here, all the comments/critique you guys give me help a ton and motivate me to continue posting, so I really have to thank you guys for that! 

Also... should I add ‘annoying OC’ to the warnings for Nina? LOL 

I hope everyone stays safe and healthy, please don’t panic, we will get through this!

And as always, I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

Taglist (please let me know if you’d list to be added/removed!):

@twdeadfanfic​ | @fandomfanatic97​ | @crossbowking​ | @watchmeaspire​ | @spidergirla5​ | @kamieshep​ | @letsstarsfalling​ | @molethemollie​ | @alicewinchester99​ | @neilox​ | @womanup22​ | @jodiereedus22​ | @theonlyone-meeeee​ | @theunofficialduke​ | @inlovewdxx​ | @delightfullykrispypeach​

[softjeon]

Featherlight | Pt. 1

• Pairing: Namjoon x Angel!Jimin • Side-Pairing: Jungkook x Angel!Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / light angst | Angel!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 7,6k | AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of nightmares, anxiety

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ Humans could hear their guardians, feel their voice inside of them like warm chocolate on a cold winter day. Usually it was enough for angels to whisper to their human, make them consider a different option or another approach. And then there were people who were effectively ignoring their inner voices and apparently Namjoon was just really adamant on not taking care of himself and getting himself into danger constantly.

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“He can’t be that bad,“ Jimin answered with a sigh as he watched Yoongi walk up and down the hallway in a nervous manner. Yoongi’s clothes were dirty and there was a hole ripped into his jeans and it certainly wasn’t a fashion statement, leaving Jimin wondering what had happened this time. He heard a few stories about Yoongi’s newest client that was giving him a really hard time. But to him they all just sounded funny and kind of cute. He didn’t really understand why Yoongi was making such a fuss about it. It was their job after all and sometimes it came with a risk. 

“He just keeps you on your toes. He’s human after all, be kind to him, Yoongi.” He chuckled softly and began to clean the feathers of his wings while talking, “Just breathe, restore your energies…and then try again tomorrow. Maybe you’re doing it completely wrong and you need to look at it from a different perspective, hm?”

“‘He can’t be that bad’, yeah that’s exactly what I thought at first as well. ‘He’s just having a difficult phase, he has a lot to deal with, hes unconcentrated because of his lack of sleep.’ That’s all bullshit!” Jimin gasped as the other cursed. He could see one of Yoongi’s feathers coming loose and tumbling to the ground. Swearing wasn’t good for angels. But Yoongi was so lost in his anger that he didn’t even notice, “He’s a mess! An unbelievably uncontrollable mess! I tried, okay! I tried a lot! I thought ‘well I have wings and he has just those lanky legs and flailing arms’ but god can he cause trouble with it! If he wasn’t so obviously pure then I would have sworn he has a piece of demon inside of him, like, it’s not possible to do that much damage to yourself and others without some mischief in you - but his consciousness is as clean as angel feathers. Not a tiny spot on it! I’m going crazy!”

“Yoongi! Don’t talk about him like this! It’s not his fault and it is your job to keep him safe after all!” Jimin reached out for his friend, soothing over his arms but Yoongi only swatted him away again. “But…you’re his guardian. He should listen to you…did you try to talk to him while he sleeps?” Jimin asked carefully and in the sweetest voice, knowing anything could make Yoongi even angrier now and he didn’t want to make him pull out his feathers in frustration.

“Does it look as if I’m not doing my job?!” Yoongi stopped short and motioned down to his ripped jeans and the ruffled tips of his wings where the feathers had been smashed. If he didn’t heal that fast, his left side would be also still littered with bruises but because of his healing powers there was nothing but smooth, creamy and flawless skin. “I talked to him like a million times and he either ignores me completely like I’m not even there - or he tries to pull me into some philosophical excursion about how strawberries can only truly have the color red and what it means for the world that white strawberries exist! I mean he’s amazingly smart when he’s awake and concentrated enough to properly think but with all the absent-mindedness and abstruse sleep talking I’m really, actually considering filing for a change.” His lips went thin when he pressed them together. One didn’t just ask for a transfer like that. It was a real act and also considered rude. He just didn’t know how else to do this without one of them getting seriously hurt in the end.

“A change?” Jimin gasped and raised his eyebrows. “But Yoongi! You can’t…just…do that. M-maybe he’s not too bad and it’s just a phase with him right now. You know how humans can be sometimes.” He came closer again, when Yoongi sat down at his office desk, wings hanging dreary down his back and face hiding in the palm of his hands. Jimin walked around the desk, sitting himself on the side of his desk and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You’re not giving up if we haven’t tried everything, yet. Maybe I can help? I have a new protectee who isn’t out very often, so I have some time to go over your guy’s file. What do you say? Maybe I’ll find a new way to get through to him…” 

“Yeah, sure, go over his file. Go over his whole life if you need to. There’s no trauma to heal that would make him stop hurting himself because he’s just mindless, nothing else. He concentrates on his thoughts and passions so much that his mortality is just a side note to him. Why don’t you just take him if you think so highly of him, try to do all you can think of and learn how fucking frustrating it is to see that nothing helps and you could instead just watch him kill himself with a toaster because in the end it will go like this anyway. And before you ask yes that was an actual thing. He was washing the dishes and almost knocked the toaster into the water. While it was plugged in.”

Jimin couldn’t count the many times he had gasped now, shocked at the way Yoongi was talking about his protectee. He would never dare to say such things. Jimin was about to scold the angel again, when Yoongi asked him to take over. “Yeah, sure. How should I handle two protectees at the same time then? I can’t do that.” Jimin rolled his eyes when another feather fell on the floor and picked it up again, pushing it into the jar by their desk where he stored all of Yoongi’s feathers. There were a few by now. It was his own little version of a ‘swear jar’. 

“If you would have been fast enough it wouldn’t have happened,” Jimin pursed his lips and leaned in closer to Yoongi, “And just because you’re lazy you can’t make me do two protectees.”

“That was a joke, Minnie. I would never let you within that man’s reach. He might have you hurt the very first hour.” He shook his head. “Really, you don’t wanna do that. Be happy about your calm new human and visit my grave please.” He sighed dramatically, knowing damn well that he couldn’t die that easily.

“Why not? Do you think I can’t handle it?” Jimin’s voice almost tumbled over and he got up from the table. “Do you still think I’m too soft for this job? I’ve been through the guardian training just like you and I am very much capable of handling a difficult human.” The younger angel huffed in anger, staring down Yoongi. “I’m not visiting your grave since you’re not able to die, you idiot of an angel…ah!” Jimin squealed when something pulled at his wings and he saw a tiny feather slowly descending to the ground. He pushed his hands dramatically over his mouth, before his eyes narrowed and focused on Yoongi again. Trying to calm himself, Jimin turned away from Yoongi, mumbling something under his breath. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Jimin closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he snapped around to his friend again. “Okay. One week. Not more! Just seven days…that’s it.” Jimin held out his hand to seal the deal. 

“Yeah, says the angels who’s squealing from losing a singly down feather...” He was careful to mumble it under his breath to not anger Jimin any further. But he was worried. No one could handle Namjoon. However he knew that Jimin wouldn’t let it go and if Yoongi would stay stubborn and not let Jimin catch a glimpse for himself the younger would pout forever. At least a few weeks (Angels had a different understanding of time of course). Also there was quite a big part inside of him who just wanted some peace and to sleep for a full night and to rest his wings and recharge his healing powers and just... not be on edge 24/7. And Jimin could always request them to change back. So, despite better knowledge he reached for Jimin’s hand - and took it, sealing the deal.

The younger angel bit his lip nervously, nodding to reassure himself that he hadn’t done something stupid right now. Because somehow it felt like he had done exactly that. 

“No one is telling Yooa? Or any other angel?” Jimin cocked an eyebrow but both of them knew better than to mess with their boss, the head of the guardian angel department. She looked sweet, like pure innocence personified – but she didn’t like it when you ignored the rules. Rules were there to protect them, to keep them safe. Letting go off Yoongi’s hand when they both agreed, Jimin opened his drawer and got out Jungkook’s file and then quickly switched it with the one the other was holding. Namjoon’s was looking way thinner than Jungkook’s and Jimin really wondered what it was about that human. Was it really just because of mindlessness? 

Well, he was about to find out…

“So…Jungkook he is really soft, you have to be ca-,” The angel stopped mid-sentence when there was a whiff of fresh air and Yoongi was gone. The other had barely looked at where Jungkook lived and had taken off, not even caring about the file. While some said, that getting to know your protectee without any prejudgments were good, Jimin thought at least a little knowledge wouldn’t have hurt for Yoongi not to run into trouble. 

“Great…,” Jimin shook his head, opening Namjoon’s file with a sigh and with a -poof and a little bit more sparkle- he was gone, too. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Yoongi landed with a soft sound in a little squat to cushion the weight. It always felt a little strange to come back to earth after being in heaven. Being weightless felt natural to him and even though he had no physical body being on earth still felt different. He was there with earth beneath his feat and gravity keeping him there. He could even feel the wind rustling through his feathers. Which was something he liked a lot. Generally he liked experiencing weather on earth (there was nothing like it up there in heaven). There was nothing sweeter than opening up your wings in a summer rain letting the droplets caress it and then create rainbow with the sunlight... 

Yoongi sighed, bringing his thoughts back on track. he was stalling a little, nervous that maybe Jimin’s sweet nature had painted Jungkook in nicer colors than he actually was. Though seriously, he absolutely couldn’t be worse than Namjoon. He straightened up - and then walked determinedly through the door.

There was a soft yawn coming from the other side of the room and then the door opened. The human ruffled through his curly hair, waddling towards his small kitchen, passed the coffee machine and got out a carton filled with delicious banana milk instead. With the biggest smile Yoongi had ever seen on an early morning, Jungkook took a sip from his beloved milk and giggled. 

Yoongi blinked. 

Then he rubbed his eyes. 

This was his protectee? At first he wasn’t sure if he hadn’t chosen the wrong house and had run into a fellow guardian angel but the boy didn’t see him. So he must be human. He didn’t look like it though. He had big eyes that were literally sparkling, curly hair that looked as soft as feathers and a smile that lit up the room like heavenly light. If this was actually Jungkook then Yoongi couldn’t believe how Jimin could let him out of his sight even for one second.

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A guardian angel was always just guarding one human at a time – their protectee. Not every human had someone assigned to him, only those who really needed someone to guide them and help them to stay safe. Guardian angels were invisible to the eye of humans. They could hear them, feel their voice inside of them like warm chocolate on a cold winter day. Usually it was enough to talk to a human to make him consider a different option or another approach to something but not everyone was reacting right away. Some needed a pull, then angels could reach out for the humans. They could make them feel their touch. And then there were people who were effectively ignoring their inner voices or the soft push. 

Every human had their own individual reasons why and apparently Namjoon was just really adamant on not taking care of himself and getting himself into danger constantly.

Jimin had closed the file again, letting it disappear with a snap of his finger when he stood in what seemed like Namjoon’s living room now. Jimin was about to take a step forward, when he slipped on something. He screamed, flailing his arms as he tried to save his fall but still rather ungracefully landed on his butt. Jimin shook his head and blinked his eyes to get rid of the stars that were dancing in front of his view. Now that Namjoon-guy already rubbed off on him, Jimin thought and he hadn’t even properly seen him, yet. The angel was about to get up, laughing to himself, searching for the human, when he was met with an impressionable pair of…

“Thighs,” Jimin gulped heavily, his eyes slowly wandering up his muscles legs until it met a torso and… “Oh my god,” The angel let his eyes linger on Namjoon’s naked chest for a little too long. There was water dripping down from Namjoon’s wet hair onto Jimin’s face. Quickly, he scrambled away and up on his feet, pressing himself against the wall – only hoping that Namjoon hadn’t felt anything. But if it had been true what Yoongi said, Namjoon didn’t react…like ever.

Namjoon stopped as he saw the small bottle of hairspray rolling away and then bend over to pick it up. He was lucky he had seen it now, someone could have slipped on it if it was just lying there. And as he knew himself it would have probably be him. With a sigh he placed it aside. He should really be more careful. He knew that, obviously with all the bruises and marks he already had but after what had happened yesterday he had really sworn himself to be more careful. It could have ended real badly, he actually could have broken his neck and be dead! 

After staying too long in the shop again and overworking himself (they had gotten a new piece and he had wanted to clean it and have it presentable and sellable for the next day) he had slipped on the stairs and had fallen down a few steps. He had regained grip on the handle like a miracle so he hadn’t tumbled all the way down but it had been a close call. 

He could still feel it in his bones.

Jimin observed Namjoon closely and how the other placed the hairspray bottle somewhere, not even really caring where he was putting it. Now that he was looking more closely, Jimin could see the chaos all around. It wasn’t dirty or packed with stuff, but rather unorganized. Jimin took a look around, letting his fingertips soothe over a few papers that were strewn all over Namjoon’s kitchen table. There were bills, receipts and a lot of ordering lists thrown all over and Jimin had to fight the urge to start organizing it all into different folders. The dishes were piling high in Namjoon’s kitchen, just like his dirty clothes that the human was now trying to push into the washing machine. All of it at once. Jimin was about to turn to look at the rest of his apartment, when he saw the opened door of the bathroom cabinet right above Namjoon. His eyes widened. The bathroom was narrow and with the way Namjoon was squatting, he would definitely hit his head the moment he would stand up again. While Namjoon was still busy, Jimin leaned in. “Be careful when you get up, will you?”

Namjoon had already started moving when Jimin had whispered into his mind - though instead of stopping or reacting in a safe way he just looked up, almost poking himself in the eye. ‘Luckily’ he only banged his head on the cabinet door. Hard. Namjoon cursed, so colorfully that it made Jimin blush. In his anger Namjoon threw the door of the washing machine shut, with a little too much force so instead of snapping in and closing the door cleanly swang back to bump right against Namjoons shin.

Jimin couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. He had made it worse. Pouting, Jimin let Namjoon pass with an angry groan and followed him into the kitchen. Namjoon was getting out some frozen peas to put it on top of his head to cool the bruise that was about to form and Jimin felt awfully guilty. “I’m so sorry, Namjoon.” He whispered, “Maybe you should lay down and rest a little more, hm?” Jimin came a little closer, when the human leaned back with his eyes closed. Luckily for him, Namjoon had gotten dressed somewhere in between his observations and the incident but even now, when he looked at him this closely, Jimin couldn’t deny his handsomeness. Namjoon was truly beautiful, Jimin thought to himself and cocked his head aside admiring him a little more.

Namjoon got out some painkillers and caffeine, effectively nipping Jimin’s advice about laying down and resting in the bud. It was almost as if he heard the angel’s whispers in some way, as he was supposed to do - but instead of following them he acted on them in a completely different way that would have been healthy. Namjoon swallowed the pills and then got back to closing the machine properly and starting it. Then he sat down at the table to work with the mess that were his papers.

Observing Namjoon and his handsomeness for a while, Jimin quickly shook himself out of his stance, remembering his deal with Yoongi. He was supposed to show the angel that Namjoon wasn’t a hopeless case. That Yoongi just hadn’t found the right approach and Jimin was able to handle this all on his own. He nodded affirmatively to himself, busy with his own thoughts, when he noticed Namjoon rushing off to get his jacket and keys and then ran back into the kitchen to make himself a coffee-to-go. Apparently the human was late for work now (Jimin always forgot human time was going by faster) and he had tried to stuff all of the important papers in his bag. The angel’s expression turned into a frown when he saw the carelessness and how the papers were sticking out. But wasn’t he owning a shop? Jimin remembered something that he had read in his file, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. But five minutes couldn’t hurt either way, especially if it was his shop.

“If you keep being so hasty you will spill hot coffee all over your hand, Nam-,” Jimin froze dead in his tracks when the human did exactly that and jumped back, almost knocking over the cup if it wasn’t for Jimin who reached for it last minute to keep it in place. “Really?” Jimin shook his head and face-palmed himself. But there wasn’t much time to dwell on it, when Namjoon was effectively cleaning it up and ran out the door – almost forgetting his keys in the process.

The angel was following Namjoon quietly, biting his lip in thought as he observed every motion of his body closely. He was bumping into quite a few people on his way to work, apologizing in a respectful manner each time. So, he wasn’t doing it because he didn’t care but because he was literally not paying attention to his surroundings. Jimin counted the tenth yawn in a matter of fifteen minutes and really began to worry for this human. Namjoon needed more than a guardian angel, maybe a life-coach, or a professional organizer. Jimin made a mental list of things Namjoon needed to improve on, wondering if he could somehow get the human to call an agency who could assign him a personal assistant. Maybe if he left notes? Or google searches for agencies? Maybe Namjoon just needed a little push in the right direction? Skipping happily, Jimin couldn’t help but smile. He felt like he had a plan now, something that he could do to make Namjoon’s life a little easier. Maybe this was what he needed? If he didn’t listen to his inner voice, maybe he would listen to a few signs.

Jimin was about to catch up onto the human, when his eyes widened and he saw how Namjoon wasn’t paying attention - again! For the third time today and it was early in the morning! How was it possible for someone to be this unattentive? 

Jimin was behind Namjoon in a second, whispering, trying to get him to notice that he was straight up walking into a very busy street right now, coffee in one and phone in the other hand. But he didn’t hear him due to his music or  maybe he didn’t want to hear him either or his mind was too occupied only waving him off as if he was an annoying fly not his guardian angel. He tried to grab his shirt, pulling at it but Namjoon just walked a little faster. How could he be so blunt? Jimin was starting to panic, knowing now how Yoongi must feel everyday. This was exhausting! Jimin screamed internally, whipping around to try and find another human that he could use to make Namjoon stop. But there was no one. He was alone. There was a car honking loudly and Jimin just reacted on instinct. 

Namjoon had walked a little too quick because he was late to work and therefore his mind was already ahead, planning his day at work, mentally immersing himself in the projects he would work with. There was something uncomfortable lingering at the edge of his mind, something that was bothering him and trying to tell him that he was missing something, that something wasn’t quite right but he pushed it aside for later to deal with it then in favour of finishing his thoughts. He couldn’t, however, as there was suddenly someone grabbing ihm and pulling him backwards. Within a blink of his eye, Jimin had fully appeared out of nowhere and forcefully pulled Namjoon back by his jacket with the strength of a human, because apparently the other didn’t want to listen to his guardian and inner voice. Mid-pulling him back, Jimin was about to open his mouth and scold Namjoon angrily, the other turned, stumbling, throwing the coffee and wrapping his arm around Jimin as if he wanted to hold onto him. Jimin yelped, the angel’s eyes widened. Namjoon flinched, and because it felt like he was attacked he turned around ready to fight, accidentally spilling his coffee over the both of them and then losing balance from his quick turn. Instinctually he held onto the boy who had just grabbed him, making them both fall over themselves and into a heap onto the side of the street.

Jimin landed rather softly, only scraping his hands on the asphalt where he had tried to keep himself from falling. There was a car honking and rushing by fast and Jimin breathed out a heavy sigh. He felt a little dizzy from the fall, ignoring the coffee stain on his white shirt and shook his head to get rid of the stars that were dancing in front of his eyes. 

“For heaven’s sake, please watch where you are going ne-,” Jimin blinked his eyes open and gulped heavily, when he realized the position they were in. Lips only inches apart, eyes gazing deeply, and chests pressed onto one another. Namjoon’s arm was still wrapped tightly around his waist and Jimin could feel the human’s heartbeat right under his chest. His own was beating fast, with a few occasional jumps. This close he was even more handsome. 

“What.. just happened?” At second glance the boy didn’t seem the type to just randomly attack people so why had he grabbed him? “Did you…,” Could he have actually been so lost in his thoughts that he had overseen a car? Had that strange boy just saved his life? Namjoon tried to get up which was kind of difficult with the boy unmoving on top of him and then reached around to see if he could find his glasses hoping that the were still usable. He hated contacts as he had forgotten to take them out to sleep one too many times with uncomfortable consequences. 

“Did I save you? Yes. I tried to call ou-,” Jimin stopped, slowly sitting up when he saw Namjoon was searching for his glasses. “You weren’t really paying attention. I am sorry that I made you lose your balance.” The angel still awkwardly sat on Namjoon’s lap, examining the palm of his hands that already began to heal and quickly put them down, when his eyes met the human’s again while he put on his glasses. Why was this human so god damn handsome and yet such trouble?

“Thank you, that’s... that was nice I mean…” He tried to get up again, failing at the solid weight on his legs, “Excuse me, can you please get off me? I think it’s a little dangerous if we keep lying there at the side of the road. Someone might oversee us.” He felt horribly awkward and with a hot, awful rush of heat he realized that now he would definitely be way too late and there would probably customers be waiting in front of the store angry and annoyed and the doors still being closed and he would lose what little customers he had and…

“I.. I have to go!” Hurriedly he patted the dust from his clothes to get himself somewhat presentable.

“Mr. Kim!” A young boys voice shouted from across the street, looking left and right and then ran towards them. “Mr. Kim…Namjoon, are you alright? What happened?” Jungkook gave Jimin a soft smile and then froze for a second, furrowing his brows as he looked at the young man who was trying to get up from the ground as gracefully as he could despite the situation.

Great. Jimin bit his lip. What was his protectee doing here? Why did he know Namjoon? And if Jungkook was here then… The joyful laugh of someone he very well knew, made Jimin snap his head around to see Yoongi holding his stomach while pointing at him only a few feet away. Of course, the others couldn’t see him. Yoongi was still an angel, while he himself had quickly unveiled his human form to save Namjoon. He had never done this before. 

But this had been an emergency.

Narrowing his eyes, Jimin was about to put out his tongue at the angel, when Jungkook interrupted him again. “Do I know you?” Jungkook asked softly, reaching for Namjoon’s hand to help him up but at the same time never leaving Jimin’s gaze.

“Kind of new here, so no,” Jimin quickly shook his head and got up himself, wiping over his now dirty and not so white anymore shirt and pants. Jungkook nodded at that, looking at Namjoon full off worries. But before he could open his mouth, Jimin spoke, “You should maybe check in the hospital to see if you haven’t hurt your head. And please…be a bit more mindful.” The angel smiled at the human, “There’s not always someone around.”

Jungkook nodded at that, dusting off Namjoon some more and because the other wasn’t saying anything, Jungkook thanked Jimin with a bow. “No worries,” Jimin pulled at his clam shirt, “Thanks for the coffee, I guess.”

Namjoon finally really looked at the guy who had pulled him off the street and gasped audibly. He had been so busy searching for his glasses and calming Jungkook and then worrying about the shop and dusting off his clothes that he hadn’t really seen Jimin. Of course he had noticed that the other was wearing -formerly- white clothes all over as if he was on his way to a “midsommar festival”. Though what was shocking him most was the pure beauty of the younger. He was no stranger to beauty (he knew Jungkook after all) but he had never seen someone with so sincerely kind eyes and such a honest smile. His face looked soft as if someone had blurred all the sharp edges to make him look like some otherworldly, ethereal creature... if there hadn’t been the dirt on his pants and the massive, brownish ugly coffee stain all over his shirt. “Oh, oh , I’m... I’m so very sorry, I’m really... you could give it to me and I’ll clean it I promise, I’ll have it just as before by tonight and...”

Jimin had half-heartedly turned already, not being able to overhear Yoongi’s laugh coming from the sidelines of the scenery. He really wanted to shut him up, but every little anger was forgotten when Namjoon talked to him. “And…you want me to undress right now?” Jimin raised an eyebrow, chuckling at Namjoon’s sudden blush that appeared on his cheeks. “It’s fine, Namjoon.” Jimin shook his head, “It’s just a coffee stain. You’re alive and that’s what matters to me.”

Jungkook still awkwardly stood at the sidelines. He could see the hesitation in Namjoon’s eyes and knowing the shop-owner, he was probably torn between running off to his café and making this right. Also, Namjoon was really awful at flirting on top of that. He had seen this happening a couple of times whenever he had visited the little antique shop. It was cringe-worthy and one couldn’t look away nor look too closely. But Jungkook loved the small café that Namjoon had build in his antique shop, small little bookshelves on each side and so many antiques that Jungkook loved to hear the stories about. “Mr. Kim, do you maybe want me to open the shop? I know where everything is.” He whispered and held out his hand for the key, “I can work the coffee machine. I helped you before, remember? There will only be the morning customers right now…so you can…” Jungkook nodded towards Jimin and whispered, “Thank him properly. He saved your life! This could have gone way worse.”

Namjoon would never give his shop over to just anyone because he cherished the little shop a lot, it was his everything. Though Jungkook wasn’t just anyone. He didn’t really knew the boy, not in a proper way at least where Jungkook had talked about himself. But they had talked about books and their love for music at seemingly random visits and Namjoon had seen Jungkook handle his treasures. It said a lot about a person how they touched the things he had for sale. There were those who just went for the glittery stuff, the things that looked expensive although Namjoon didn’t have a lot of those. There were those who didn’t really have eyes for them at all, just passing by (Namjoon always wondered what they were doing there in the first place and if they might have walked into the wrong shop or were just trying to pass the time in their lunch break) and then there were those who came in and saw, who took everything in, observing, admiring. It always had Namjoon smiling when he witnessed a customer carefully caressing the beautiful arch of an armrest or trail their fingertips along an ostrich feather of a headpiece he had just arranged. Jungkook was such a customer. And this was why despite better knowledge he gave his key to the boy that he didn’t even knew the last name of.

Jimin watched Jungkook walk away with furrowed brows and then turned back to Namjoon. He had only been Jungkook’s protectee for barely more than a few weeks and although he had found what the younger needed pretty quickly he never once had mentioned Namjoon or stumbled upon him, even if he followed Jungkook almost everywhere in his guardian form. Thinking about it...Jimin only realized now for how long he was already in his human form, something he had never been in before (except for in training). “This was an emergency right?” Jimin mumbled, when Yoongi came closer, eyeing him from the side, his heart racing fast in anxiety. There was a strict rule about using one’s human form. And Jimin had just broken it and the guilt was lying heavy on him, needing Yoongi’s reassurance. “Oh god, I’m going to hell.” He mumbled under his breath

“What?” Namjoon hadn’t gotten a word that Jimin had just said but his mumbling sounded suspiciously guilty. Namjoon thought hard what Jimin could feel guilty about and then his stomach filled with ice. The boy had just called him ‘Namjoon’. Even though he might have gotten it from Jungkook he had used it so casually as if they knew each other. And how had he been so quick as to rescue him at all? He must have been very close and paying lots of attention to him. Did that mean that Jimin was... a stalker?

“Hm?” Jimin looked up at Namjoon, when he saw the color fading from his face. It shut Yoongi up effectively as well, who just wanted to tell Jimin how dumb he was for thinking about even going to hell, because he wouldn’t survive down there a second, as he watched the scenery unfold once more. This was truly entertaining to watch.

Jimin reached out for the human carefully. “Are you okay?” He asked carefully, “You look kind of pale…are you sure you didn’t hit your head? You really need to pay more attention to the traffic, though. And maybe work on your balance skills.” He giggled, blinking up at the taller man, Jimin searched Namjoon’s eyes while a warm smile played on his lips to cheer him up. “I’m really sorry I startled you so bad, but I panicked when I saw the car coming closer and you just went ahead. I reacted out of instinct.”

“So you... don’t know me? You just helped a random stranger to not get killed in a car accident?” Jimin looked way too nice to be a psychopath. But didn’t they say that that’s exactly one would think before getting murdered by one? Namjoon swallowed hard.

Jimin’s expression turned confused and then chuckled, “Yeah? What else would that be?” His eyes widened when he realized what Namjoon must have been thinking. “You…oh my heaven, did you think? That I was stalking you or something?” Jimin couldn’t help but laugh, “As cute as you are but I wouldn’t even be sure what I would stalk you for? Anyways.” Jimin smiled at Namjoon, shaking his head, still not over his idea of being stalked. Where the heavens did he get that idea from? This human really was…different – that was for sure. “There are good people out there in the world, too you know.” Jimin winked at the human and turned around. 

Namjoon turned bright red when the boy saw right through him as if he had his thoughts spelled it out on his t-shirt. “N..no, that’s not…,” He tried to lie but as always he wasn’t very good at it. The boy turned to go and that was the last hint he had needed before getting the guts to call after him. “Wait! As I already spilled coffee on you do you want... some more coffee? As thanks? Not on you, I mean.. can I take you out for coffee to say thank you?” He cringed internally at that mess of a sentence.

Jimin halted in his steps and his heart sped up so fast that he felt dizzy for a second. Was Namjoon asking him out? His guardian angel? That he didn’t know was his guardian angel – at least for a week, because he was dumb enough to fall for Yoongi’s tricks. Jimin looked over his shoulder to Namjoon. “Me?” He pointed at himself, “Eh…I…yeah okay, sure.” Jimin nodded, blushing like crazy out of a sudden, completely ignoring his moral instincts.  

Namjoon could feel the younger’s shyness, gathering confidence that the other wasn’t out there with bad intentions. “It doesn’t need to be awkward and there’s no need for coffee either we could go for something to eat or some bubble tea if you like, your choice, just let me give you a little something in return for saving my ass.” He tried a little smile, actually enjoying the thought of taking the other out now that he had gotten out of his head and really looked at him and his well behaved manner. It would be nice to see him again under different circumstance that weren’t as dramatic like an almost-car-accident.

Cocking his head aside, Jimin giggled softly. “Or we can do all of that. For saving your ass I do deserve some more than a coffee right and I am not sure if I can smell coffee anymore.” He pulled at his shirt again that was awfully sticking to his chest. Before his angel instincts and morals could kick in and while ignoring all of the rules there were, Jimin agreed. His heart took a leap, his breath got stuck somewhere in his lungs and he had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. “Meet me here at eight then. Tomorrow?” Before he turned around, he added with a shy smile, “I’m Jimin, by the way.”

“Yeah, sure, that… that’ll work.” Before Namjoon could properly wrap his head around it Jimin had said yes, fixed them a date and then flirtatiously told him his name. As Jimin already knew his there was no point in telling him and Namjoon wasn’t sure if he should tell him anyways or if it would be stupid so he just stood there, smiling awkwardly giving Jimin a little wave while thinking that it was totally fitting that someone so soft looking had such a pretty name.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

What was he doing? Had he just agreed to a coffee date with a human? To a human he was supposed to protect. It was like the moment their broke eye-contact and Namjoon turned around Jimin came back to his senses. He had acted completely selfish and ignored every rule there was. Yes, maybe he had supposed to keep Namjoon safe and in emergencies it was allowed to use their human form but…he should have been back in the realm already, back to his natural form. Not talk and flirt with his protectee. Or agree on dates. Jimin was just hoping Yoongi hadn’t been around to see the mess that conversation just was. What even had happened? Jimin raked a hand through his hair in a desperate manner and took a deep breath. It took him two steps before something made him stop. Slowly, his eyes wandered up the white jeans that was held up by grey suspenders and white shirt underneath. “You know I always loved those grey tones on you…” Jimin tried a smile, when he came face to face with Yoongi, but it fell soon after, “I can explain!”

“Stop flirting! You won’t be able to flirt your way out of it this time, Park Jimin! What in heaven’s name where you thinking? I get that you had to save him and thank you for not letting my protectee die by the way but why on earth did you do it like this?” Yoongi had found it funny when Jimin had materialized to save Namjoon and then had that awkward conversation with him because Yoongi had been convinced that Jimin would say goodbye quickly, then return to their realm to take a breather and then finally tell Yoongi that he had been right all along and Namjoon was unprotectable. He had not expected Jimin of all people to break the rules. Jimin was soft and sweet and took pride in following the rules nicely to make everything work perfectly as it was supposed to be. This wasn’t it. And the worst thing was: Jimin knew all this. And he had broken the rules nonetheless, on purpose. Yoongi felt like someone had shaken his world so everything had been tumbling around to rearrange in some totally confusion way.

“I…ehm…I just wanted to be nice?” Jimin answered, ignoring the woman who just passed him and looked at him as if he was crazy for talking to thin air. She couldn’t see Yoongi. “It’s all part of my plan, okay!”

Yoongi scoffed.

“Trying to be nice? Your.. your plan? Jimin, you do remember that I know you and that we are both angels and therefore you can’t lie to me because I literally feel when you’re trying to bullsh.. to dupe me and.. what is your plan then? Just for kicks, tell me your plan. What will you say when he asks you where you’re from? What you’re doing here? What your job is? If you to can see each other again. Do you want to break his heart? Or get yourself tangled in too many lies until it’s too late and you’ll have to face the consequences? This is not a game Jimin. This is someone’s life your toying with!”

“Since when are you the one scolding me?” Jimin pouted, averting his gaze to the ground as he just kept on walking. “I might have not thought about that, yet but I can come up with something that makes sense without lying. I just want to protect him, and I figured if he doesn’t listen to his inner voice…then he has to…to my human voice, you know?” Jimin was gesturing around with his hands, “Break his heart? It’s not like he asked me out on a date or something. He just wants to say thanks and although it is my job…it can be nice to get a thanks from time to time, right?”

Yoongi sighed unnerved. Apparently Jimin wasn’t going to let this go easily. So he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him forwards, effectively an forcefully pulling him into the heavenly spheres where they could talk to each other properly without taking the stupid route of Jimin talking to air and Yoongi yelling soundlessly at him. Jimin gasped painfully, when he fell against Yoongi. Wings on full display again, his aura shining just as brightly as ever but Jimin wavered still. Every beat of his heart hurt, and the angel felt dizzy from the sudden change of realms that he wasn’t prepared for. “Ouuuw, that hurt.” Blinking his eyes, a couple of times, Jimin kept himself steady against Yoongi.

“You are not good at lying Jimin, you know that. Also why should he listen to you, he doesn’t know you it might even make him suspicious again if you try to manipulate his decisions.“ He yanked at a loose feather in Jimin’s wings that was about to fall out and then shook his head. “You know what I mean. He doesn't trust easily any more. Abusing his trust or making him feel like you played him or lied to him will break his heart if he loves you as a friend, a love or not at all wont matter there.”

“Since when…,” Jimin took another deep breath, “Do you care about sticking to rules so much, hm?” Jimin slowly stretched out his wings and looked at his friend, “I don’t want to break his heart, Yoongi, trust me. I just want him to get better. He’s got chaos all around and he needs someone to organize it so that he can take a breather. Namjoon never stops working and that’s why he’s never in the moment but always overthinking, overanalyzing and…” Jimin sighed, “I know you know all of this. I am sorry.” Tears dwelled in the corner of his eyes but Jimin ignored them. “You know I would never hurt a human. I’d rather hurt myself.”

“Don’t do this Minnie...” Yoongi’s voice turned soft and he loosened his hold around the youngers wrist to caress up his arm in a gentle gesture. “Don’t talk like that about yourself, as if you were worth less. You aren’t. And I’m not so adamant about the rules because I want you to be flawless - I’m just a little scared that you might have gotten yourself in on over your head. I don’t want anyone having to face uncomfortable consequences, and that applies to Namjoon as much as it does to you. You know I care about you.”

Jimin nodded, patting Yoongi’s chest softly, “It was just a tiny mistake.” The angel hugged Yoongi tightly, needing the physical reassurance right now and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I know you do and now please, go and watch over Jungkook. He always needs help at night.” When Yoongi still didn’t move, Jimin crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Oh come on. He’s just a protectee in the end. A client. A human. It’s not like I will risk my life for him.”

Yoongi hesitated for a second, contemplating if he would terribly regret it, if he let Jimin go his way now. However there was no way to see into the future and so he could only hope that it would turn out as it should be. 

Time would show if it had been the right decision - or not.

A/N: A new story is starting! Yay! What do you think so far? Was it a good idea of Jimin to change protectees? Or will he run into trouble ;) We will find out....... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING OUR FICS SO MUCH ;; Cat and I are always so in awe. Thank you thank you thank you ♡♡♡♡

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird “We Come in Peace.”

This was difficult to write, and I am not sure if it makes much sense, but I promised to write this one for you, and I did my best. If you like writings about the logistics of a first contact situation go ahead and send me more ideas. I was thinking about learning about simple human biology would be interesting, 

As always I hope you enjoy feel free to comment, question, critique, message or anything else. 

Captain Kelly stood below the ramp of the strange alien ship surrounded on all sides by her most trusted companions. To her left, her first lieutenant, to her right, her linguistics specialist directly behind her three of her most experienced men, and right to the back…. The 2nd lieutenant who had begged her on his knees to tag along. He was young and inexperienced, but then again, he had shown resolve under pressure and probably kept them from being shot. Because of him they were taking their first steps into communication with an alien race.

Above them, the ramp began to lower releasing light downwards upon them. At the top a set of sentries watched them with tense anticipation. She may not speak alien, but she knew caution when she saw it. She urged her team upwards, the boots of her space suit thudding against the strange material.

Lieutenant Vir hurried up to stand next to walk next to her a bounce in his step, eyes wide with childish wonder. She sort of hoped he never lost that, she also hoped that he would never have a reason to.

They stopped at the top of the ramp, as the door hissed shut behind them leaving them alone and stranded aboard an alien ship.

***

The atmosphere of frustration was clear. The galactic assembly’s best specialists had been sent out to attempt and make communication possible between the two species but so far, they had made no real progress. The variability in the creature’s intonations and voices made it structurally impossible to tell what they were trying to say and even identify if they were saying the same thing. A hiss from one sounded completely structurally different from the hiss from another. Additionally, they seemed to refer to themselves through a multiple combinations of the sounds.

On the other hand, scientists had made greater headway in learning about the creatures genetically and structurally. The human leader, the small one, had handed off the green-orbed creature for scientific testing, and despite its constant need to touch things, it was easy to deal with. From examination, they learned that the creature spoke based on a system of fluctuating air pressed out from its esophagus, through two vibrating vocal bands, and the interaction of its mouth, specifically a muscle within the mouth. Unfortunately each creature had varying sizes of vocal cords, tongues, teeth, and nasal passageways making communication completely different creature to creature.

Conversely, the creatures seemed to be growing irritated, as they did not understand their complex, additional, body posturing. One specifically including one digit pointing in random directions, and then the creature would get angry when they didn’t understand.

Things had ground to a halt at this point. The main creature was resting its head against the table, the second one was frantically gesticulating towards and unknown device, and the other three looked saggier than usual. The only one who didn’t seem to have changed was the green-orb creature watching from close by as a scientists took measurements about his chest.

The curious-eyed creature had been watching silently for some time before shrugging himself away from the scientist, to range across the room gathering all the chairs and dragging them into a large group. Creatures and member of the council alike stared at the creature with confusion. By the time he was finished all the chairs were piled in the circle at the center of the room. Everyone was standing ty this point having had their chairs confiscated.

The creature pulled one of the chairs forward a sharp chirp and a growl. He brought forth the next one and repeated the sound. He did this over and over again, and then urged the other creatures to do so one after the other.

“Wait, wait, I think I understand.”

“Someone, start recording.”

They ran statistics comparing the different sounds and found they had the same rhythmic pattern to them. “Chair,” They repeated.

***

“Why didn’t they get it when I said that?” Their linguist asked angrily as the aliens chirped to each other excitedly. They grabbed a chair and made a noise. It was a weird kind of sequel and hiss.

Adam did his best to copy it. The aliens parroted it back to him a few times excited with his copying rendition.

They sat down again moved by a new vigor. Captain Kelly finally let the boy over. He was proving himself to be more useful to this mission than he had any right to be, and if they were going to communicate with these inhuman beings, than they were going to have to use all of their available assets.

***

It was important to first establish the nouns for objects. Each one had to be carefully statistically analyzed for difference in language pattern, but just because they knew the names of objects meant absolutely nothing. The rules and meanings of their language would be difficult to puzzle out.

Personal pronouns proved to be an issue that took them some hours to puzzle out. Certain ones accepted He some accepted She and all accepted they although they could be an identifier for a group of the creatures though a group of creatures was not called a “They”. We was used when the creature speaking was part of the group indicated. They themselves could not be part of a they, but they could be part of a we. They seemed very reluctant to explain the difference between a he and a she, and so they left that particular mystery for another time accepting what the creatures told them as fact.

They eventually got the name of their race, though, of course, there was no direct translation. The word consisted of a short exhalation of air then a hum a chip and then another sort of humming sound.

“Human.”

It took an entire session just to explain these personal pronouns in relation to the nous they already understood.

The humans came back the next day with new equipment proceeding to draw images, and symbols that apparently represented the sounds that they made. It was fascinating to find that they had a written language proving once and for all that they were a sentient species equal to any in the galactic assembly.

The green eyed human remained integral in these discussions. Despite his inferior position in the hierarchy, he was the first to act, and sometimes, the first to understand. He was the one who made it clear that body language was just as important to the “Humans” as was spoken language. Pointing with a single digit was to indicate attention be focused on a specific object. A head shake meant no and a nod meant yes. The lifting of both shoulders was an indication of confusion neither agreeing nor disagreeing.  

“I” and “Me” were indications of the self though each creature also had a personal name. In certain cases they had three names…. Though that wasn’t discovered until later.

“I was usually followed by an action I run, I walk while “Me” Denoted something happening to a person, for me, to me, with me. Us and We acted the same way.

“You” was the word they used when speaking to another creature, when not unitizing their personal name.

Motion words followed their personal pronouns. The leader spoke the words while the green eyed creature demonstrated. He waked, he ran, he spun and he jumped.

Going, was a general term indicating the movement to somewhere, coming meant to return or to journey FROM a location.

The first sentence, “I come.”

“You come.” The creature said pointing at one member of the council.

Hesitantly they walked forward towards the human.

The room around erupted as the creatures began shrieking and showing their teeth. They fled backwards away from the horrible display of maddened barbarism. Upon seeing this the humans calmed hands in the air vital organs exposed.

No words could be shared, so no one understood what was happening.

How were we to know that facial expressions were so important?

It took another day to explain wanting something and then possession.

I want, I have, we want, we have.

General verbs followed that, beginning with easy concepts not abstract. To speak, to fly, to breathe.

All throughout they learned question words beginning with what paired with that. What to ask what something is or was, but usually paired with other words to determine context. Where for location, when for time, who, for a specific person. All which had a matching answer who paired with personal pronouns or names what with that where with here or there (here for right next to a person) there paired with a pointing gesture or some other context.

The humans surprised them indicating that their language also utilized the pat and the present is and am indicating something in the now while others required prefixes or suffixes to indicate past. Their translating equipment was beginning to pick up short sentences now, and with excitement the humans accepted the strange technology.

The green eyed human most of all.

***

Lieutenant Vir marched aboard the ship with the strange alien translation device clipped to his right ear. He was going to speak with an alien today, he was determined. Not just a sentence, he was going to get an answer to a question.

The first alien he saw had been there every day, a simple soldier, nothing more, but Lieutenant Vir walked right up to him. The creature watched in tense worry and confusion, “What is your name?”

Seconds passed.

“Gurt.”

***

It took weeks to understand the question why and even longer to explain abstract concepts. They had been there for months.

But the day came. They sat across the tale from each other Captain Kelly sitting next to her linguist and her soldiers.

“Why are you here?” The alien asked in its stilted and halting voice. It almost sounded like a bird or a parrot talking. It could have spoken through the translator, like some of the others did, but like the linguist it insisted.

“We come in peace.” Came the reply…. A reply that humans had thought up for thousands of years, in every science fiction novel and television show. An intergalactic hand of peace extending across space and time. “We want to know….. To understand.”

“You want knowledge.”

“We wanted to know that we are not alone, and now we want to be…. Friends/allies.”

“You…. Are danger.”

“Why?”

The alien paused for a long moment rubbing its head…. A gesture it had picked up from the humans, “You run quickly, jump high, sharp teeth. You want….. Eat us?”

“Predator?” The word was passed around explained and translated in the next thirty minutes.

The humans looked appalled, “No!”

“You ran and chased, following at first….. You make fear for us.

The humans convened for a long moment glowering at the green eyed creature who seemed shocked for a second butting in to the conversation, “No. I did not want to eat. I wanted…. Uh…. Allies…. I was….. Pleased.”

The translation was broken, the meaning algorithms struggling to piece together understanding form one separate mode of communication to another.

The entire room shifted in confusion and surprise. How could this be?

The predators had crossed the galaxy searching. They sought friendship in the stars despite their barbaric nature and their powerful, predatory instincts. What drove them was not hunger, or even knowledge.

Alone in the universe they sought proof…. Proof they were not alone.

[too-lit-for-fanfic]

The Dead Don’t Die; A Review. (Spoilers - it was shit a disappointment)

Hey guys! It’s Roen, one of the owners of this account! I’ve just watched ‘The Dead Don’t Die’, directed by Jim Jarmusch and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a film for a long time, and that’s saying something. The star-studded cast was completely wasted, the talented likes of Adam Driver, Bill Murray and Steve Buscemi have some enjoyable scenes, though they were few and far between, and at the best of times barely raised a smile to my face.

Let’s start on a high note, the cops. Genuinely stole the show for me. Driver and Bill Murray? Yes please. They worked so well off each other and the chemistry was really good. The dynamics between their two characters was very refreshing as well, unlike the same bland emotionless voids everyone else (aside from Buscemi) appeared to be. Loved the little nod to Star Wars, the red car scene was probably the best in the movie, actually enjoyable to watch the two with their bits of banter, actually believable characters. Just get rid of the female cop, I’m all for diversity and inclusion, but again; she added nothing to any of the scenes she was in and had little to no chemistry with the other cast. You can’t have the entire set of characters acting nonchalant and then have one just fucking bawling their eyes out all the time. Got annoying real fast. The romance between the female cop and Ronnie (Driver) was not believable at all to me. I think they were aiming for a relationship like Tim and Dawn from the UK The Office but it fell so short. Not a fault of either actor, they did the best they could with the material given, however it just seemed like a pointless side piece left out to dry in the sun for too long.

Steve Buscemi, aka Farmer Miller was probably the best consistent character. I am a massive fan of a Buscemi so that probably has something to do why I liked his performance so much but i believe the little bit of *flavour* to his voice, the passion, the anger, just made the character stand out so much more from the rest. I would have loved to have seen more of his character, he only had like three scenes which was a massive injustice. I feel as if the framing/filming of the movie could have been done so much better than it was. It may just be the directors style but it felt as if there were so many pointless scenes, like the extended amount of silence in the car with the three fucking hippies that amounted to absolutely no character development that didn’t even fucking matter because they died practically the very next scene. It was just so infuriating how so much screen time was wasted on insignificant details (like any scene with the alien, the unneeded bonding between Bill nd the delivery man, the extra bit of the two diner workers just chit chatting, the hippy trio section) when it could have been spent on actually interesting characters like Miller. Also, that hat was comedy gold.

The homeless dude pissed me off to no end. What even was his purpose? He was like some bootleg token The Lorax, wandering about the woods high off of mushrooms commenting on the capitalist ideology of the townsfolk. Did he offer anything to the plot? No. Was he interesting in the least?!for the first five minutes. Could he be removed form the story by a disembodied Martin Freeman voice? Absolutely. I don’t know if this is just the directors style but what the fuck. The last bit on phones and technology and capitalism was such a slap in the face to the audience. Propaganda. Like okay, we’ve payed to sit here and wasted over an hour of our lives to watch one of the most disappointing movies recently released, with fucking Scottish aliens, even though it was marketed as a zombie movie, to be lectured on the usage of technology? Fuck off. Pick a genre and stick to it. So much valuable screen time wasted. I think the problem with this movie in particular was, there was such an abundant cast that the movie couldn’t really spend that much time on any of them, not allowing itself to develop their characters or for the audience to form an actual bond with them. If you are to do this with such a large cast some groups must eventually merge in order to provide a semi coherent story. A big downfall on the directors behalf.

I don’t really have much to say about Bill or Hank. They were okay, bu weren’t given enough screen time for me to actually care about them dying. Their characters needed some more spicing up. I’m not dissing the actors for this though, they matched the tone of the movie very well, some things are just irreparable. Could have been done better, could’ve been done worse. The beginning scene with the delivery man and Bill was unnecessary and devoured valuable screen time, so did the awkward as hell interaction between him and the Selena Gomez character.

I don’t even know who the three teen actors were. I’m not throwing shade, but for such a star studded cast i would of thought all man members would have some notoriety. Maybe they do, please correct me if I’m wrong, I just didn’t recognise them form anything I’d seen. Their acting was alright but the few scenes they had were just so pointless. They added nothing to the story and didn’t influence the plot in anyway; at least the Scottish alien lady inadvertently got the two main characters killed, that was something. Was this part of the political propaganda the film was trying to push? If so it went completely over my head unlike all the other in your face narration. Ate up valuable screen time that could of been spent developing far more interesting characters. What even happened to them anyway? The just sort of ran off screen and that was the last we saw of them. Maybe the director forgot about that side plot, I don’t blame him, they were just as forgettable to the audience.

Don’t even get me started on the fucking.. i don’t even know- Scottish Alien?? I thought this was a zombie movie but okay. She’s literally the token badass that just fucks off in a spaceship after ultimately leading the main characters (the cops) to their death by requesting they meet her there for no apparent reason than to flex she can be free and they can’t. Honestly, personally I think this was just an excuse to subvert expectations and throw a curve ball in there for the audience. I’m sorry but just because something’s shocking or doesn’t necessarily fit doesn’t mean it’s going to wow audiences, plot twists have to make sense. If they don’t it’s just bad writing and incoherent story telling. It was worse than the *subverdion* of Game of Thrones.

Overall it was such a waisted potential and an actual chore to get through. Would not recommend, at all. If you like this film I’m genuinely happy for you and glad you’ve found something else to enjoy. However, I feel that this is the long awaited final nail in the coffin for zombie movies (which is a shame because I love the likes of Shaun of the Dead). No matter how talented the cast, and by-god did they try to make the script work, if you have lousy material and a dead story there’s only so much they can do. As a Brit, however, I do feel it may be partially down to personal preference (although the shady plot and general inconsistencies are universal) particularly in relation to the comedy. Not to be insulting but I think I was expecting more witty/intelligent humour akin to Blacladder of Shaun of the dead, the contrast with the laconic style just really didn’t do it for me. Don’t think I laughed once apart from that red car scene. However if you enjoy that type of humour good on you, it’s just it something I connect with very well.

REVIEW ENDS HERE, BELOW IS MY INTERPRETATION OF EVENTS.

‘Oh it’s easy to throw criticism, I beg you couldn’t have done any better.’ Is an argument I am anticipating, so let me pitch to you my possible plot for the movie. First of all, get rid of the three juveniles in that delinquent-prison - seriously, what the fuck was their purpose in this film? Offered nothing to drive the plot forward, didn’t effect the story, had no even slightly funny scene - and replace their screen time with the buddy-cop-duo of Adam Driver/Ronnie and Bill Murray/Cliff. Just get rid of the female cop, the chemistry was better without her input. Bill and Hank? Had potential but I think they should’ve partnered up with Steve Buscemi’s character Miller to form an unlikely passive aggressive, comedy gold, getting by on the scrape of their teeth, trio. The homeless man, again, had potential. Instead of having him as some fucking narrator with a sociology degree I would have placed him along with the Billy-Hank-Miller trio. There could have been some great scenes filled with tension between Miller and him. Out of town hippy trio? Still a thing, but for two scenes max.

Now that the playing field has been set let’s get into my rendition of the story. We start off in the diner with Harry and Frank watching the news and having some not so friendly banter. Insults based on race, lifestyle and beliefs are thrown (the hat, which was hilarious, stays) to establish character dynamics. Scene ends with Frank/Buscemi leaving the diner as the theme tune begins to play. Cut to Ronnie and Cliff stood in a cell looking over the dead woman, Ronnie’s flippancy should remain whilst Cliff should behave like a much more real human, this adds a conflict of character that the movie only briefly explored. The two are in the midst of passive aggressively talking to one another over the body - Ronnie forgot to call the people to collect it - as a client steps into the station. Cliff engages in conversation with the client who is informing him of Miller/Buscemi and Homeless dude getting into a fight on Miller’s driveway. In the background, Ronnie, in an attempt to hide the dead body, drags it off into the background, horribly failing at subtlety.

Once the client is gone the body is placed in the receptionists chair, to ‘make it look like they got around to hiring that new member of staff’ and the duo drive to the scuffle. In the car they briefly chat about the scientific events occurring with the theme playing in the background, develops the world they’re in and further establishes their dynamics and relationship. Once they arrive Miller and Homeless dude are close to throwing hands, Miller with one chicken in his arm and a shot gun in the other and homeless dude with a skinned animal in his. Ultimate cop duo extinguish the scene with jokes thrown in, homeless dude just fucking slaps Miller with the skinned rabbit, Miller nearly shoots him, that hat gets briefly confiscated by Cliff. Scene ends with the four parting ways, cops in the car, Miller up to his house in search of the rest of his chickens and homeless dude off into the wilderness.

Diner deaths happen, but the lady screaming with the mop is considerably shortened. The following scene with cops pretty much stays the same, except the female officer is no longer present. That tiny red car for the absolute tank that is Adam Driver? Absolute gold we are keeping that. Homeless dude, who had seen the dead the night before absolutely fucking recks the crime scene losing his shit trying the convince Cliff. Ronnies already on board but must maintain the law. Homeless bro gets detained by Ronnie but manages to run off with only one hand cuffed. Immediate cut to Hank talking with Billy about weapons and zombies yada yada yada except this time he’s actually a traumatised old man. As Billy goes on a tangent about zombies I imagine Hank to be like ‘Moose’ played by the old guy in Jumaji: the next level. Completely gormless but hanging off of every word.

Scene at motel happens, along with the amazing line ‘fuck farmer Miller’ delivered perfectly by Murray.

Skip to night time; cop buddy duo set out on the town with a load of guns and other assorted weapons they managed to scrounge up, their mission is to keep the poeple of the town safe, do they succeed? No. Cliff accidentally drives someone over believing them to be a zombie. At the same time Miller, absolutely fuming about his chickens, is off in the woods behind the store Billy and Hank are camping out in in order to catch the homeless dude in the act of skinning a chicken. Billy and Hank have completely boarded up the front door but unlike in the film, they realise there’s a back door because Miller comes bursting through searching for another shot gun, the undead right on his trial. The trio officially buddy up, gather weapons and set off into the woods, absolutely shit but sumultaneously amazing fight scene ensues as they make their way out of the town.

Our unfortunate trio stumble across homeless guy literally eating one of Millers chickens in the woods. Miller tries to shoot him but is stopped. Banter is tossed, a mini argument happens, everyone has some chicken (Miller begrudgingly). We cut bsck to the cops who now discover the hippy trio dead at the motel, that scene is the same. Cutting back; At the prospect of teaming up Miller throws his chicken away and stomps off into the woods, Billy and Hank following. Homeless dude chases them and attaches himself with the one free hand cuff to Miller. He now has to come.

At some point Cliff absolutely totals the car, I’m not against keeping the zombies in wheels scene. And the two cops are backed into the graveyard. The amazing four are already there struggling to survive. Miller and homeless man keep trying to run in different directions and falling over, Frank has no idea what to do with a pair of branch cutters, Billy is far too happy to be able to finally use his vintage sword that turns out to be pretty shit in the end. Fight scene ensues.

Miller and homeless dude are the first to go, they couldn’t get along if their lives depended on it, which it did. The group scramble and in the process the pair can’t make up their minds. They die arguing. Something along the lines of ‘thank god for that’ but funnier is said by someone idk who. The next to go is Billy. His flimsy sword actually brakes and he’s left weaponless. Hank goes next, he’s been bit and Murray has to shoot him. I picture the scene from Shaun of the Dead, with Ronnie telling Cliff he has to shoot him.

The final scene is when Cliff and Ronnie finally reach another town, beaten up and evidently bruised. The only problem is, the towns already been overrun. The two share one last exasperated look before they charge in to battle, the screen fading to black as the theme song plays. Akin to the ending of Balckadder season 4 But less emotional.

(I know it’s not perfect but by god it’s not any worse than the actual fucking film. If anyone else has any thoughts or ways they think the story should have progressed please message me! I’d love to hear what you guys think!)

[razorblade180]

Lasting Embers pt18: Brewing Storm

[Blake’s Study]

*giant bookshelves on each side and a skylight up top. A desk with a stack off papers on it with Sun hard at work*

Sun:*wearing reading glasses*.......

“You look good in glasses; so official”

Blake:*wearing nothing but one of his shirts half buttoned up and no pants* You’re up early; I woke up and was surprised you weren’t there.

Sun:Had work that needed to be processed. Almost had it done before our unexpected reunion last night. I wish I was in bed.

Blake:*drapes herself over him* Not surprising, you barely got a wink of sleep last night. *kisses his neck and face*

Sun:*chuckles* Gee I wonder why? *reaches his left hand up to rub her ear.

Blake:*purring* Can you blame me? I spent ten years missing you. I like your new clothes by the way; orange is nice on you.

Sun:Thanks, I was going for a sunset vibe. After all my “moon” wasn’t around to make the tougher decisions. So I had to channel some of my inner Blake hehehe.

Blake:Active High Leader Sun Wukong. Looks like the people don’t even need me. Maybe you should keep the job for good.

Sun:Please don’t joke like that. I don’t know how I’ve kept this thing going for a decade but you can have it all back. I miss being second in command.

Blake:Well it’s a good thing I’m more than happy to be back. *picks up some papers* Is this the report from Illia?

Sun:Yeah, prevented another assassination attempt on Whitley. Not to mention the our unwanted guest that were promptly dealt with thanks to the little terror of the desert. Jael really is something else.

Blake:I met up with them before I came here. She looks healthy which is good; also she’s grown like a weed. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll outgrow my clothes in awhile.

Sun:She definitely has her father’s intensity that’s for sure. I’m worried about these attacks; there’s never been such a drastic attempt like this. Especially back to back. How did the last part of your mission go?

Blake:A lot of explosions in a mine. *pulls out a map with dozens of red x’s on it* we hit every single one we found. Even went around the world twice for a year just to be sure. Maybe this is a last stitch effort?

Sun:.....I hope so. *stands up* you might wanna get dressed. Adam should be back in a few hours, there’s a festival tonight for your return, I’m sure Illia wants to spend time with you, not to mention your parents.....

Blake:Sigh, no rest for the wary. Guess I’ll go shower, but.....*grabbing Suns arm* you’re helping me wash. High Leader’s orders.

Sun:*smiling* Well if they’re orders!

[Jaune’s Porch]

*Ruby sitting down and taking off her shoe*

Yang:*opening the door*I was wondering where you were. Go for an early jog or something?

Ruby:Visited dad. Felt nostalgic about seeing our home again. Almost nothing as changed; except the boarded up doggy door....

Yang:Oh....how long?

Ruby:Three years; Zwei just ran out of bark he said. Wish I got to hold him one more time.

Yang:Yeah that’s rough. *sits next to her* So, how long you’re bunking with us? Not that anybody wants you gone but I assume you want your own place?

Ruby:My home burnt down before our adventure started. Sure I could easily get another one but.....I’m in no rush to be alone.

...........

Ruby:This is gonna sound terrible but a piece of me wishes I didn’t have to deal with readjusting to life. Maybe our last mission should’ve been my-

Yang:Don’t say it...*holds her hand tightly* there’s no way I could’ve lived with myself coming home without you.

Ruby:....I’m sorry. I should no better than to say things like that by now.

Yang:You’ll get through this, with me. Just like always. I’m always in your corner sis. *smiles*

Ruby;....*hugs her tightly* Yang, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you for everything; for being my sister. *whimpering*

Yang:*looking up at the sky*

*Dark clouds forming in the distance*

Yang:*rubbing Ruby’s head* (A storm is coming. Why.....am I worried?)

[Vale]

*alarm clock ringing*

Tenzen:*in his bed*Zzzzzzz

Ren:*shaking him* Tenzen wake up! You’ve over slept again.

Tenzen:Zzzzzz

Ren:Pancakes are made.

Tenzen:Zzzzzzz

Ren:Yujin made them...

Tenzen:*jumps up* Lies! She makes french to- what time is it?

Ren:Past sunrise; your mother is probably waiting for you to show up and running drills again.

Tenzen:Shoot! She’ll probably ramp up the difficulty now. *starts zipping around his bedroom causing the lights to flicker*

Ren:You might blow a fuse at this rate *catches him as he passes by* remember to eat before moving like that or you might just ended up worn out and sleepy again.

Tenzen:Valid point, I’ll probably end up grabbing some snacks to eat before I see her.

Ren:*holds up a protein bar* here, I doubt you have time to make breakfast.

Tenzen:You’re the best. I’m surprised you haven’t made breakfast yet.

Ren:*points to luggage outside* I’ve been preoccupied this morning.

Tenzen:*eyes widened* Already going on the medical trip? Didn’t think you’d pack so soon.

Ren:Nora is finishing up your training, thanks to you everything is paid for, and hopefully by next month you’ll ace the entrance exam to Beacon. Looks like you don’t need me around anymore.

Tenzen:Don’t phase it like that. *hugs him* I’m always gonna need you dad. Have a safe trip and speedy recovery! Looking forward to dancing with you whenever you return.

Ren:As long as there’s no camera; I’ll leave internet fame to you.

Tenzen:Deal! *suited up in his previous attire* well I’m off to another brawl in the emerald forest.

Ren:Some advice, go after your mom first.b

Tenzen:Got it! *dashes away*

Ren:*still holding the protein bar* Hehe Nora he is like you through and through sometimes.

•

*Blake fully clothed in a version of her father’s chief outfit. Complete with the the purple and gold family colors*

Blake:*drying her hair* You know it’s impolite to spy on people right? *looks up at the rafters*

Adam:I see you haven’t lost a step. *jumps down* also you sort of hired me to spy remember? *kneels*

Blake:*opens her arms* Stop with the formalities and greet me like an old friend. Or did you forget how to do that?

Adam:Sassy as always I see. *hugs her* Good to see you safe; I’ll admit I had my doubts.

Blake:You think you’d know better than to bet against your first pupil. *moves his hair* how’s seeing the world with two eyes?

Adam:Bright hehehe, but really nice. You’ve been back long?

Blake:Just since last night. Stopped by and visited your family. Jael has become quite the looker.

Adam:It terrifies me every day.

Blake:*snorts* got to talk to her a little bit. She seems lonely. Also missing you a lot.

Adam:Things haven’t exactly been....easy for her. It’s a lot to talk about.

Blake:Well there’s gonna be special spot here for higher ups only during the festival. You could bring your family without worrying about people seeing you; maybe we could all catch up them?

Adam:*rubbing the back of his neck* That might do her some good honestly. I sort of think I’m screwing up the one good thing I’ve brought into this world.

Blake:*smiles*......

Adam:What?

Blake:It feels really good to just talk to you again. We’ve been through some shit you and I. I missed this.

Adam:*smiles* You’re such a sap....

Blake:Wow! Okay you jerk. *folds her arms and smiles* the real sap is you; family life suits you well.

Adam;It’ll probably do wonders for you too. You’re only thirty something. It’s not too late.

Blake:*blushing* Mind your business! I just got back and that’s what you want to say!?

Adam:I’m just saying you might want to think about it. Sun won’t admit it but he was always his happiest spending time with Jael or any kid that ran up to him. *walking away*

Blake:......

Sun:*walks in* Oh hey loser. *holds out fist*

Adam:Sup loser *fist bumps him* see you tonight with my family.

Sun:Aye tell Jael her uncle I’ll make her favorite dessert! *grinning*

Adam:She’s supposed to be eating healthy! *leaves*

Sun:This is why she likes me more! So how was seeing your old everything basically.

Blake:*red*.........fruitful.

•

*Tenzen sprinting down a dirt path connecting to the forest. Clouds looming over him*

Tenzen:(I hope mom isn’t too mad I’m late. If she is this storm probably won’t my situation. Maybe I should’ve-) *immediately tries to stop. Skidding several feet anyways* What the!?

*trees snapped in half and bullet holes everywhere. Prints of human and multiple grimm types around the area with some blood as he looks around*

Tenzen:......(This isn’t right. So many grimm prints but not much blood. Who could get away from these numbers? Why would different grimm attack in these numbers?) Something doesn’t feel-

“tu...rn arou...nd.....”

Tenzen:*flips around and draws his weapons* Who’s there!? Fair warning I- *gasp* Emerald!?

*a flickering illusion of Emerald dawning a black and green trim version of her outfit points to a bush before fading *

Tenzen:*Walking through the bushes and looking*Emerald.......?

Emerald:Hey kid *cough* up here.....

Tenzen:*drops his weapons on sight; his face going pale* Guys?

*Mercury unconscious and bleeding on Emeralds back. Her chain dangerously close to being around their neck as they hang from a tree*

Emerald:*beaten up* H...help....

Tenzen:*snaps the tree limb off and catches both of them* What happened to you two!? Why are you-*yanked by the color*

Emerald:They....know where *cough* Nora.......

Tenzen:..........

[Launching cliff]

Nora:*sitting down* Late again I see; what am I going to do with that boy? We did spar pretty rough so maybe I can give him a break this one time.

*pit pat pit pat pit......*

Nora:Hmm? *turning around* finally decide to show up Ten- *gasp!!*

*several cult members stand facing her. Dozens of ursas, beowulves, and death stalkers behind them*

M:I’m sorry, were you expecting someone else? *eyes glowing read*

*the rain started to fall.....*

[dangerously-innocent-riverdale]

Dangerously Innocent || Sweet Pea || Part 6

Y/N’s POV

As I wake up i can’t help but feel..... relieved

I mean sure, Sweet Peas mad at me Nd u don’t know why I care so much, I’ve not talked to my uncle about the old house like I planned before I moved here and my grades are awful. But it could be worse, right?

Anyway, I can dwell on stuff I can’t change but I can ignore it.

God I am a procrastinator

I look over to my alarm clock and see it 4:47am. Seriously?

Screw it. New me gets up at this time, before anyone else?

Right, come on y/n, we’re going on a run! Yeah a run will pass the time. I don’t have to be at school until 7:30 sooooo, run time

I walk into my closet and grab some simple workout clothes, I then write a note for my Uncle Tom letting him know I’ve went on a run in case he gets up early

I put my Earphones in my ears, connect them to my music and start running.

I’ve never noticed how beautiful Riverdale is as the sun rises, it looks like a normal little town that people dream of, the sun rising, birds singing, everything you could dream of, you could never guess murderers and alike lived here.

As I ran, my mind wandered to before I left with my .... my parents. I remember it like it was yesterday.

My parents had started renovations on their “dream house”. It was this old place that was falling apart along sweet water river.

It was amazing the first time I saw it. It reminded me of the Victorian era mansions in England.

Everyone told them it was crazy, that they shouldn’t buy it. But it’s special to our family, it’s where our Grandpape met his wife, my Grandmamy.

It’s where my parents had they’re first kiss, there first date. They new it was way to large, that it oooked like a castle

It was falling apart but they loved it, our families castle, they always told me that I was their princess, and that princesses deserved a castle

Eventually, even my parents new it was to big, so they decided, that they’d build another small house and the property, maybe even a few. That they’d make it a historic site in their favourite town, the town that brought them together, so that’s what they started doing, building little cottages on the property, aswell as fixing the “manor house”

They built 6 of the same type of houses on the property, and it was a dream, but before we could move in and finish all of the work we had to move.

Now that I think about it, it is crazy. But ....

I don’t know, I can see why they did it, they wanted a safe and protected area for their family. I think they where planning on making it a boarding school or something eventually.

I guess I’ll have to figure out what to do with it now, maybe I cou.....

“Y/N!” I hear Archie call my name as I stop running

“Archie?” I say taking out my earphones and checking the time, 5:30.

“What are you doing up this early?” he asks

“I could ask you the same!” I say and he laughs

“Couldn’t sleep.” He says as we run together, back towards my uncles house

“Ugh, I know” he says

“I have to go, do homework before school but I’ll see you later yeah?” He asks and I nod

“Bye Arch!” I shout as he runs back towards his house and me to my uncles

— — — — — — — —

As I look back at my phone as I walk into the house I see it is 6:15, which means my uncle and Kevin should be getting up within the next half hour.

I decide that I should make the boys breakfast and my Uncle Tom lunch, considering how much pressure he’s been under with the whole black hood

I make a full American breakfast for them: waffles, pancakes, hash browns, eggs, fruit salad and much much more.

I also make my uncle his lunch consisting of his favourite home made lunch— Mac n cheese

Once I put his lunch in Tupperware and a bag I hear someone coming down the stairs and I see my Uncle Tom.

“Morning Uncle T” I say putting a plate down on the dinner table for him along with a large black coffee

“Morning Y/N! What’s gotten you so happy?” He asks suspiciously

“I decide that I’m going to be postitive” I say sitting down with my own breakfast with freshly squeezed Orange juice

“Okay” He says as he starts devouring his breakfast

“I was wondering if we could chat about something” I say and he wipes his moth with a napkin

“Here it is” he says to himself

“What?” I say

“Come on, hit me with it” He says with a laugh

“I was wondering if I could have the keys to mom and dads house, I just wanted to start renovations again, ya know?” I say trying to act natural

“That’s fine, they said the house was yours, you just have to go and see the mayor about signing the release” he says and I smile

“Uncle T?” I say and he looks back at me

“Yeah” He says

“Thank you, for everything” I say and he smiles

“Your family Y/N, your always going to be family, no matter what” he says and I smile and I see Kevin walk in

“Hey Kev” I say standing up and grabbing his breakfast, placing it down in front of him

“Thanks Y/N” he says as he starts devouring it.

We sit there in silence as we all eat until my uncle stands up

“I gotta go to work, have a good day at school” He says

“Your lunch is on the counter with your keys” I say and he smiles and grabs it, before leaving

“So?” Kevin’s says

“What? What now?” I say

“I talked to Jughead last night, said something was wrong with Sweet Pea, he mentioned you” Kevin says

“It was nothing, we’re just not meant to be friends” I say

“Okay” He says, making me look at him in surprise

“Really, wow” I say and he laughs

“Your in a good place Y/N. I’m not going to ruin that” he says and I laugh. I grab my phone as I get a text from Cheryl

“I gotta get ready” I say to Kevin and he nods

I run up the stairs, almost tripping, and I get

To my closet as fast as possible, I have about 10 minutes to leave, great!

I walk into my closet and pull out a classic outfit and put it on, leaving my hair down and in beach waves.

I grab my bag and phone before rushing down stairs, not wanting to be late.”Hey Kev, I’ve got to meet Cheryl before school, you want a ride or not?” I ask as he is already dressed

“Okay.” He says grabbing his bag and throwing me my house keys

Once we got to school, we both go out separate ways, he goes towards his locker and me towards the girls locker rooms, and as I walk in I notice Cheryl standing in front of the mirrors

“What’s up?!” I ask worried, considering we never have to meet before school

“I know this is awful of me but, Ive got to get out of that awful house, so I was wondering if I could move into one of the houses in your families property?” She asks and I am relieved

“Of course you can, move into the main building, you already know what room is yours, just don’t go up to the fourth floor yet because it’s unsafe” I say and she hugs me

“Thank you, one more favour?” She asks and I laugh

“Sure, What is it” I ask

“Can you take practise tonight? I have to pack” she says and I laugh

“Of course I can, btw renovations of the fourth floor will be happening soon, I’m going to ask Mr Andrews if he can do them” I say and she nods

“Can we go to my locker? I have to grab my calculus stuff” I say and we start walking that way, before I remember something as I see just the person I was meant to send it to.

“BETTY!” I shout and she laughs turning around

“Hey, what’s up” she asks

“I have that piece you wanted” I say passing her a USB

“Thanks, I’ll go and look at this now” she says catching up with Archie

“What was that?” Cheryl asks

“I said I’d do a piece for the blue and gold” I say offering no real information

“On?” She asks

“You’ll have to read to find out” I say and she smiles at me as I open my locker grabbing my books

“See you at lunch?” She asks

“Save me a seat.” I say as we walk separate ways to our classes

Just as I walk into my calculus class, I am tanoid to the office.

“Can Ms Y/N Keller-Adams please report to principle Wetherbees office, Y/N Keller Adams to the principles office”

I walk out of class as my teacher nods to me that it’s fine, as I walk to Wetherbees office I try and think what it’s about but I honestly have no clue.

I...... what could it be?

@sparklydeanclampalace @potter-head-phanatic @multifandom-ramblings @riverdalesserpent @xserpentlife @skeletalwolfcat @slytherinintj13 @cvvlxx @miwetf97 @tinybeta

[writeanapocalae]

Pinned Butterfly

Once I found out it was DX:HR’s anniversary I actually intended to write something for it. It’s extremely whumpy and I don’t think survivable but that happens sometimes. You can read it on Ao3 if you prefer!

It wasn’t a big deal. He could heal. He’d had worse than this. He’d had worse. He’d had worse. This was nothing. This was a single bullet, torn through his side, but the trajectory was a physical thing, that was it. He’d survived worse scraped than this. He’d survived being torn apart and put back together, some kind of Frankenstein’s Monster with debt. He’d survived being dropped to the bottom of the ocean. He’d survived everything that he was being examined and laid out, used for science, betrayal after betrayal after betrayal.

He thought that all buildings were earthquake prepared, but apparently that didn’t matter too much when the walls had been punched through over and over again, on his way here.

There had been warnings, there were at least a few hours of notice that there was something coming, but he’d ignored it. His mission was more important. Francis was more important. He’d traveled half way across the world to get to him, leaving Prague and his actual job behind on a whim, just because he’d heard of a little bit of trouble. Just because he thought he’d check in and when he did he heard a grumble and some background noise and a location screamed out by a man sounding like he was in as much as Adam was in this exact moment.

Everything was on fire. It didn’t help. The fire had started in one corner of the building, some wiring sparking off in the initial quake, and it had spread through all of the paperwork. That paperwork that was now floating around him like feathers, as if he was in the middle of a shooting range and they’d just released crows and doves into the smoke.

He grabbed at the rebar, grit his teeth, and tried to pull himself forward. He could feel his healing factor try to work, to heal his skin around the protrusion. The longer he stayed there the harder it would be. The pain of just a millimeter made him scream out, fingers bending, his grip hard enough to slough off some of the rust. He hadn’t even seen Francis in all of this. He’d hardly seen anyone.

He’d promised, through his info link, that he was coming. He made sure that Francis never felt alone. He didn’t know what they wanted from him and, other than some gurgling and coughing and pain, he had never gotten a response. It had to be Francis though, there was no way for it to be anyone else. People didn’t cut out infolinks and leave both the link and the owner functional.

He couldn’t focus. He could hardly even hear. All he could do was feel the way his skin was trying to grow, feel the large protrusion, feel himself shake as he tried to get himself off of it. He could snap necks, he could destroy walls, he could fall thousands of feet, and he wouldn’t feel it. He could’nt snap the rebar. He wasn’t strong enough.

He was breathing in smoke but that didn’t matter. He had filters for that. The heat was much more of a problem. He already ran hot. This was making his HUD hick up and shake, the glitch making it hard to see. He closed his eyes.

Part of him was fine with this, was fine with dying. It was poetic, him locked away in a burning tower, all alone. He hadn’t read Frankenstein in years, but he remembered that scene, the monster in the windmill, everything burning, but that may have been the movies. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He couldn’t even do what he was meant to do.

“!@5sen?” It was garbled. It was jibberish, half static and half voice, broken and tired but still a voice. “Y2* the#2e?”

“F.Franc.is?” He shuddered as he tried to reply, as he tried to break through the pain, to get to him, to get something.

“D82 yo( bre!&* the bui#%@ng or some&*ing?” He hardly sounded like himself. Any harshness of his voice was gone. Any snark was forgotten. “Wh(*e are y12?”

“F.Flo.or fif.ty tw.o”

“!m on my #&y,” Francis explained. “Me&+ me ha!#^&y?”

“Can’t. Fran.cis. I...” He didn’t now how to explain. He couldn’t be weak. Francis had been taken and, for the better part of a week, been only updating him with the sounds of pain. He couldn’t ask Francis to save him. He couldn’t expect Francis to be able to. “I can’t. I’m. Stuck.”

“St89k? Fin@, what!#ver, I’ll ge+ to y!@.”

“No!” Adam ordered, trying to pull himself further, struggling and failing and trying not to let the fact that he was sobbing come across the infolink. He couldn’t let Francis know he’d gotten himself in this situation. He couldn’t let Francis know how weak he was. He was a failed piece of machinery, a monster who deserved to die alone, because he’d never had the courage to go out and get attached to someone after Megan. “No. I’m not. You just. Get out. Of here.”

“Too #ad!” Francis grumbled. There was a ding. “Lo#%a like the @#$vator sti!! wo9ks.”

Francis knew not to take the elevator in a building crumbling like this, he had to. Only an idiot would trust the elevator after an earthquake. Or someone extremely desperate.

“Don’t. Waste. Your. Time on. me.” Adam tried to get him to stop, tried to plead. He didn’t come all this way, gotten himself killed, just for Francis to die in an elevator.

“You wa$+ed your +!me on m3. &nd I c138 %^&( 1236e you here. I !#&d you.”

Adam could barely understand what he was saying. What he was able to piece together didn’t make any sense anyway. He needed him?

“Fine. Then. BE. Quick.”

Radio silence. The heat was getting worse. Adam cursed himself for wearing his jacket. It was too hot, would have been without it, but now it was on fire in places and only his blood was putting it out. He pulled himself up another half inch, before he was coated in sweat and tears and more blood. He had to get off of the spike before Francis got there. He had to get off of there before his body gave out, before he ran out of energy.

He had perhaps gotten three more inches before there was another ding and a grunted curse and something that must have been a scream of surprised. He glanced over and now he could see the flames. The desks had all caught by now, and the sprinklers had gone off in the distance but the roof was too broken where he was. The fire was being controlled everywhere else.

He could see the elevator, the light inside of it flickering, and there was Francis, leaning in the doorway, pulling himself forward, slow and staggering. There was a noticeable limp as he came forward, and he was cradling his arm to his chest. Adam couldn’t see his face through all of the black and red and even his hair didn’t look right.

“Shit shit shit!” Francis growled, pulling up his shirt, as bloody and stiff as the rest of him, over his nose, so he could filter out the smoke. He hopped on one foot over some of the debris and then went to his knees, crawling as best he could on three limbs to get to Adam. “That looks. Well, that looks bad.” His voice wasn’t glitching anymore but there was still that strange quality to it, like he was too weak and hurt to have his normal tone.

“It. Feels bad.” Adam scrunched up his face. He couldn’t get any further, not on his own.

“We have to be quick,” Francis grumbled, pulling up in front of him. “We have to get that out. Shit. Can you survive that? Or are you going to bleed out?”

“I.ll heal,” Adam promised, though he didn’t know if he could. The battery symbol dancing on his HUD was showing empty.

Francis looked him over. He looked Francis over. With the shirt over his face he couldn’t see all of the damage, but one of his eyes were barely open, some of his hair had been shaved, and his cheeks were both puffy and swollen. The arm held to his chest was clearly broken and some of the fingers on the other hand didn’t look much better. There was a large patch of blood on his leg and he was favoring the other, so he was probably wounded there as well.

Francis reached out, wincing, as he grabbed Adam’s belt buckle with what fingers he could, struggling to undo it and then he pulled the belt free.

“What. Are you. Doing?” Adam asked.

“I saw this in a movie or twelve,” Francis breathed. “I don’t want you biting off your tongue so you’re going to have to bite down on this.”

He held the belt up and Adam took it, putting it in his own mouth. It tasted like blood, his blood, because he was spilling it everywhere.

Francis took his hands then, one at a time, and he could see how Francis was shaking, how hard it was for him to be standing. He led Adam’s hand onto his good shoulder and Adam gripped it, unable to stop himself from grabbing too hard.

“You don’t. Have to. Do this.”

“Shut up,” Francis hissed, moving Adam’s other hand onto his waist. “I’m going to do some counting and I’m going to ignore the one and I’m going to pull you. You’re feet are on the ground so you can walk towards me. If you pull me forward I will fall down though.”

Adam nodded.

“Okay. Three, two-” Francis pulled. Adam grit his teeth, screaming through them, as he left indents into the leather. He took a step forward, feeling the ridges of the rebar pull through him, rubbing against his tissues. Francis was clutching at him, his arm wrapped around Adam’s back in a facsimile of a hug, dragging him off of the spike. He didn’t stop screaming until he was free, until they were both on the floor, wrapped up in one another, among the flames and debris.

He spat out the belt, feeling heat and fluid pour out of him, the hole in his side burning. Francis was whimpering beneath him, both of them were soaking wet now. He could see the clean sweeps on Francis’ face from his tears running through the blood. He pulled himself off of Francis, off his broken and bruised body.

“We have. To go.” Adam tried to pull himself up but the pain in his side erupted and he fell back to Francis’ side.

“Can you fly?” Francis wheezed.

Adam closed his eyes. He breathed. He was too tired to even think. In too much pain to fully understand. “My cells are. drained.”

Francis took his hand again, led it to the pocket of his jacket. His jacket was the cleanest part of him, they must have taken it off of him when they were hurting him. “Found some energy bars downstairs. I ate one but I thought. If you were in danger. You’d need it more than me.”

“Fran.cis,” he didn’t need to say it. He didn’t need to say anything. Francis probably hadn’t had much to eat in the past week but he was saving things for Adam. He had been tortured but he was making time for Adam. He was hardly able to walk but he’d made his way up to Adam.

Francis did have energy bars, three of them, in his pocket. Depending on how much healing would take up of his energy this should be enough to get them down to the ground floor with the Icarus. He unwrapped and ate two of them before dragging them both away from the flames, away from the rebar he’d been impaled on.

He was able to stand after a little bit and then he was getting Francis to his feet as well. They were both struggling to stand, but they were leaning on each other. He got them over to the window and Francis buried his battered face into Adam’s chest. It was easy to shield someone so small as Adam shoved his elbow into the already spider webbed glass, opening their route out.

“Now would be a bad time to mention I’m afraid of heights, isn’t it?” Francis creaked out a broken laugh.

“Just. Hold onto. me.” Adam ran his hand through Francis’ longer hair. Where they’d shaved him it revealed the ports at the back of his skull.

Francis did. He pushed them out of the window. They only fell five feet before the Icarus kicked in, golden light shining out from around him, creating an orb of light and air to slow their decent.

“You. Okay?” Adam asked, still stroking Francis’ hair.

“No.”

“Me neither,” Adam admitted. “Thank yo.u for. coming for. me.”

“You came for me first. I couldn’t just leave you.”

There was something else there, hanging on the air and then left behind, snatched away by their descent. Adam wished that he could reach out and catch it.

“I would. Always. Come for you,” Adam admitted, holding Francis closer.

There were sirens beneath them. There was help coming. They were going to be alright, eventually. Francis lost consciousness by the time they landed, from shock or from pain Adam couldn’t be sure. Even then, on the ground, he had a hard time letting go of Francis. He wanted Francis to stay with him, not just then, but back into Prague. Every time they separated something terrible happened to at least one of them. He wanted to keep Francis with him. He wanted to know what had been left in the air.

[diabolikotaku]

Vampire! Yui Komori Headcannons

Sorry it took me like three million years to answer you!

Vampire Age: 17

Human Age: 117

Her father is Seiji Komori, the Vampire King

Goes by Christian name in demon realm: Solomon 

The youngest of four

Her eldest brother Yusuke, her older sister Yuna, her twin brother (who was born 2 hours earlier) Yuito, then Yui.

Yusuke and Yuna are fully Japanese while Yuito and Yui are half East-European

Yusuke and Yuna had a different mother than Yuito and Yui.

Yui has an orthodox name: Anastasia (Anya) Vasiliev

Yuito is Aleksandr (Alex) Vasiliev

Yusuke and Yuna go by catholic names: Jeremias and Juliette Lazarus

Her mother is Natsia Vasiliev

She was a low-class vampire who was filled with greed, so she decided to become a handmaiden at Seiji’s manor in order to seduce him, have his children, and demand money.

After all of her plans failed, she drugged Seiji and raped him

Once she was pregnant, she threaten Seiji to spread all over the demon realm that he committed adultery with a low class demon, unlike his current wife Hanako (Helena Lazarus) if he didn’t give her enough money so she could be comfortable

She didn’t even want to keep her children once she got the money, so she ditched them with Seiji.

Alas, Seiji still loved Yui and Yuito. So he and Hanako kept them nd treated them like family.

She was born with Yuito on June 21, 1901

The reason why she was made the ‘heiress to the Komori throne’ was because Yusuke fell in love with a werewolf (violation of vampire law) and was banished to the Miasma islands in the demon world (it’s just really hot and everything at some weird black miasma around it he’s immune to, he and his wife Yuri are living happily together), Yuna loathed absolutely everything about Seiji and swore to never associate with him or anything involving the vampire throne, and Yuito just calmly passed the responsibility down to Yui.

She couldn’t say no at that point

She has many nicknames in the demon realm, such as: Anya the Blood Heiress, the Trinity Cross, the Rose, etc.

Yui lives by herself in the Komori Manor, with the exception of a few servants.

For someone who’s loaded, you’d think she wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

Nope, she does all of the cooking, gardening, and sometimes cleaning herself

She needs something to do to pass the night time

That’s why she was so happy when Seiji told her that she was having guest staying with her from now on...Until he explained her situation.

Basically, six people with pure blood are sent to the Komori manor as ‘food banks’, one of them is the true blood Adam and will help make her the Eve of the demon realm

She had to pick wisely on who her Adam would be

Nevertheless, she was still happy about not being alone.

Yui has the complete opposite demeanor of what a vampire should act like/are perceived to act like.

Most vampires are sadistic, cruel, unforgiving, wouldn’t look twice at a human, usually arrogant, thinks everyone around them are weak, etc.

Nah, Yui’s all like: smiling, giving kindness to others, being helpful, friendly, caring, motherly, nurturing, equal to everyone, understanding, etc

So that’s why the Sakamaki brothers brushed her off when they first met her.

But now we get into her Sadistic side.

Yui has a completely different personality in her that sleeps, only wakes up to feed or pretty much take control when she feels like it. Sadistic is very much like the typical aristocrat vampire.

Normal Yui hates talking about or when Sadistic wakes up because it means she’ll lose control and Sadistic will destroy the trust she built with her humans.

When Sadistic wakes up, Yui’s eyes turn blood red.

Yui has to watch everything Sadistic does and she can’t take it.

That’s why she tries so hard to get along, have people’s trust, and make up for Sadistic’s words

Yui has some control over Sadistic, that’s why the boys don’t die after Sadistic feeds on them.

she tries to drain them like a juice box!

Yui is very innocent while Sadistic is very nasty and so not innocent if you catch my drift.

Sadistic is fond of punishments

Yui cries as she watches in horror what Sadistic does to the boys.

Has a fox and an owl familiar

The fox is named Xian and the owl is named Fester

Yui’s favorite colors are dusty rose, lilac velvet, pink ruby, and cream.

She’s quite up to date with what’s happening in the modern world.

switches between old-time clothes and modern clothes if not at school.

will sometime say old-time things by accident

still doesn’t own a phone (and Seiji didn’t put a land line in.)

When the Sakamaki brothers first discovered she was a vampire, Subaru was the one to pull out a trinity cross (gift from mother)

She dead ass pulled her rosary from under clothes and smiled, “You have one too? I figured you weren’t too deeply involve with religion by how you act!”

This confused the brothers and resulted in Ayato smacking Subaru up the head.

When she was little, she couldn’t bare to hurt a creature for blood, so she starved herself until her father make her drink blood via transfusions/cups of blood so she wouldn’t die on him.

She stopped doing that when she was around 13 in vampire years, but it always hurt her on the inside to hurt someone for blood.

She really does care for all of the Sakamaki boys, even if they brush her off because she seemed weak or she terrified them.

She helped Ayato find something around to Manor to do as a past time because there was no internet here...Or a phone line.

Gave Reiji the room with the largest study and always 

Showed Subaru where her personal little chapel was so he could pray.

(Even though he would always criticize her about not being right) She would bake sweets when she can for Kanato.

Introduced crossword puzzeles to Laito

Showed Shuu the music room

Yui actually used to play the piano when she was younger, but became rusty

Yuito and Yuna never learned how to play one

Yusuke was an excellent violinist and she always loved to listen to him play

That’s why Yui was happy to hear Shuu knew how to play the violin.

Yui is a hopeless romantic, when she just hit ‘puberty’, she spent all day in the library reading romance novels and dreaming of her ‘one true love’. When she gets the chance to, Yui buys romance novels in town and indulges in them.

Well, she sure gets a selection...

and they’re certainly no prince charming. 

For being this old, she’s bound to have at least one lover in the past, right? You’re correct! She used to spend her time with a human artist back in 1981.

His name was Takizawa Hayato

He taught her how to draw, or at least he tried too. 

Yui’s still pretty bad at drawing people, but she can draw landscapes pretty well.

It only lasted for a little bit when he found out she was a vampire (and he questioned why she stayed the same age as when she met him while he aged). 

Yusuke had to kill him.

Over the years, she learned how to crochet doilies out of pure boredom

And also learned how to sew a bit, you really have nothing to do after years of no internet.

Knows some Russian along with Yuito

Yusuke and Yuna know Italian.

Met Cordelia once

Yui didn’t really like her

Also that one time was when Seiji killed her because of some unknown reason.

If this were formatted like the actual games, then there would be a part in one of the boys’ route where she would lose a lot of her own blood and Seiji would give her a transfusion of Cordelia’s blood. Thus Cordelia becoming one with Yui.

Let’s get into some Otome Game shit :

(We’re going by Haunted Dark Bridal btw)

The best endings:

All: Marriage

maybe kids?

Becoming ‘Adam’

overcoming the shitty parts

Bad endings:

Ayato: Yui gets amnesia and doesn’t remember Ayato, making him crazy.

Kanato: Yui kills Kanato but keeps his corpse as a doll.

Laito: Sadistic becomes the controller of Yui’s body and abuses him for the rest of his days.

Shuu: Yui dies in a fire

Reiji: Yui is killed by Karlheinz

Subaru: Yui locks up Subaru and he is forced to become crazy like his mother.

Routes:

Ayato: Since he is main bae in the original series, there’s gonna be lots of cute things, 

Kanato: i feel like there might be a lot of bonding in this route, of course it’s eventual, but when the time comes Kanato just clings onto Yui. This can help out a little bit with his complex about being the ignored child and help him move on. Possibly help him grow up a little? But then again, we love our man-child.

Laito: ear porn This route could go either ways, it either helps Laito rip away the playboy act and get over his problems about his mother (and him being sexually abused) or it helps him become more...Child-like again? Like before Cordelia fucked him over. 

For the triplets, there might be a discovery arc about why their mother was involved with a family of vampires for some reason.

Shuu: I feel like Shuu’s route would probably be a healing route for him, from being cold, emotionless, tired, and shut-in, to someone who can get over his past. Even though it still lingers, I think Yui helps him out with his ptsd and depression and he gets better throughout the playthrough.

Reiji: The route that holds most of the actual plot. But there is still memorable moments between Reiji and Yui that satisfy the soul and goes over some of Reiji’s issues.

Subaru: Maybe a mix between a healing and a discovery route. Like Subaru finds out his mother was involved with the Komoris somehow and he’s trying to get the answer some how from Yui, the more time they spend together they fall in love and they have to come over some epic plot I can’t think of while he tries to heal after the ptsd of watching his mother suffer her days in that locked cage his father called her room.

All of them will have the main plot of the story, though.

In each route, Yui’s struggles will be revealed.

Ayato: Her mother, definitely 

Kanato: Sadistic’s origins

Laito: Her mother / Struggling with controlling Sadistic

Shuu: Hayato / the depression of being practically immortal.

Watching all of her friends grow old and die while she doesn’t change

being unable to friend humans because of this

generally has been alone her whole childhood besides her family.

etc.

Reiji: being maltreated because of her mother’s intentions

the  other servants knew about this and some of them maltreated Yui harshly.

Subaru: Her self-worth / the fear of hurting those weaker than her

Maybe some other alternative bad endings would be either Yui or one of the boys becoming Yandere over the other person???

There has to be saucy stills because is diabolik lovers, you cannot expect less.

Maybe add a rival to the boys were he’s trying to obtain Yui in order for her to love him or just kill her, idk.

The Komori family is filled with pure-blooded vampires that go back for several generations (well, except Yui and Yuito)

Has a summer home and a winter home. The summer home when the bounty hunters get into town and the winter home for when the war was happening in the city the summer home was located at.

Sadistic formed in her when the servants were abusing her, when Yui had enough Sadistic came over and killed the servants and hid them before Yui ‘woke up’.

The only kind of makeup Yui knows how to do is Victorian-styled.

Makes her own perfumes and makeup from flowers and such

Before this whole ‘Adam and Eve’ stuff, Yui was supposed to get married to a high-class vampire family’s eldest son, but he was killed by Yuito

The son wanted to kill Yui and sell her organs and blood to the lower-class vampires and demons for a price.

sleeps in a regular bed

Locks herself in her room when blood moon arrives because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone during that period of time. 

Sadistic doesn’t come out, this is a whole new monster Yui doesn’t understand.

2nd year

Considered popular by the students, but not ridiculously popular.

Has her fair share of fans

when some girls were trying to intimidate Yui about staying away from the Sakamaki brothers, she just scoffed and told them she can’t avoid them since they live with her.

And she also told them that they wouldn’t be into girls like them, it shut them up real fast.

Helps Subaru and Ayato study (even though it’s a difficult process)

Favorite foods are: fruit tarts, parfaits, and pancakes

wants to have three children

She’s afraid of turning someone into a vampire after the incident with Yuna and a past lover.

Still can’t swim

Follows her father’s orders without a fail.

Including keeping in 6 human boys for food.

Will occasionally take the boys out to the town next to the school.

Feels bad for the boys since they can’t go out often, so she places in vases of flowers to liven up the dark manor.

Somehow, she has met all of the sakamaki mothers one what or another.

Karlheinz actually tried to kill her once, however he was mistaken by Yuito and got badly injured.

That’s all I got for now~

[seoulscenarios]

Kang Daniel College AU

Uhhhh,, happy 300!!! And I’m back with a new college series for wanna one!!! haha i know what you’re thinking, us doing wanna one content??? crazy, but this has been in the works for a while and i finally thought this was the right time to post it! And don’t worry, there will still be stray kids content as well i just wanted to take a break from all the stray kids content we have been putting out

side note: for the dance mentioned throughout this pls click HERE to see the dance that inspired this whole au tbh i promise you won’t regret it!!

-Major: business studies

-Minor: contemporary dance

-Sports: Star player of the football team (mainly bc EVERYONE adores him) but he rarely plays anymore bc he kept falling asleep during practice but they still keep him on the team bc how can you deny him anything

-Clubs: president of the bboy club, claims bboying IS a valid enough reason to set up the club despite the student board protesting it, set it up anyway, is also a very active member of the dance society and everyone was shocked that he didn’t apply for the president role but he skated away on his skateboard yelling about bboy he’s just a child at heart really

-Daniel is by far the most popular kid on campus

-Everyone knows who he is, even the professors on the other side of campus who have nothing to do with him knows who he is

-I mean, how could you not he’s literally the most happy and friendliest person in the world with a smile gracing his face for just about everyone

-Is always seen around campus in slacks and tee, normally a snapback on his head as he whizzes past you on his skateboard

-He’s literally the epitome of skater kid, big headphones around his neck blaring music as he speeds past you on the way to class

-Most people wonder how he’s a business major bc he looks like he should be part of the dance squad or sporting majors but Daniel,,,, actually kinda likes business

-He’s not massively passionate about it but he’s good at it and he enjoys some classes

-Is the perfect partner for group presentations bc he’s so diligent at any task you give him, though occasionally he doesn’t always understand what he’s supposed to be researching but rather than pestering his group mates at like 3am when he’s kinda high on energy drinks he comes into the meeting the next day with really garbled notes and they have to gently tell him exactly what to research and his face lights up

-His favourite class by far is his practical business class where he gets to go on an internship at a company bc he 1) gets out of class, 2) gets to go on fancy business trips with his boss which means fancy food and 3) leaves behind Jisung who is constantly nagging him in their dorm

-Not to mention,,, he wears a suit (which he proudly wears bc his mom gave it to him as a present when he got into college)

-The entire campus collectively swoons as they see Daniel walking across campus with a briefcase in hand as he’s with Seongwoo

-Even all the women at the company he interned, especially the older ones, swooned and doted on him as well

-Like,,, Daniel was sure it could be against company protocol that these women give him gifts and stuff but the boss just turned a blind eye to it bc he had way more important things to deal with

-Besides, Daniel appreciated it when they gave him food vouchers and stuff bc it meant he didn’t have to spend his or Jisung’s money on food

-Not that Jisung was ever in the dorm most of the time anyway, being a medical student and all he practically lived at the hospital

-Which meant that Daniel may or may not have sneaked in Peter and Rooney the first weekend his mom came to visit him

-(Jisung got the shock of his life when he went to flop on his bed and it MOVED,,, he beat Daniel’s ass bc he hadn’t agreed to this)

-After a few hours though, Jisung was cuddling Rooney in bed and Daniel was very smug whilst Jisung threw a lab report at him lmao

-Daniel running an Instagram account for the cats? Most definitely

-Was it the most followed account related to their university? Of course it was 

-Everyone who came up to Daniel on campus 95% of the time they’d ask to meet Peter and Rooney, but Daniel was adamant that only a few select people could meet his girls

-Literally only the boys had met his favourite girls and never would he allow any slander on them, any hate comments would be deleted and a swift block if there was more than one offence

-(Jihoon and Woojin tweeted abt how ugly Peter and Rooney were and it took WEEKS of apologising and buying Daniel food for him to unblock them and add their contact details about, no one gets away with vagueing Peter and Rooney on his watch)

-Their dorm room, for lack of better words, was AWFUL

-To the point that Minhyun had given up all hope that they’d ever listen to him or actually care for the fact he’d spent a whole Sunday cleaning their room bc he was stressed and he just refused to ever go to their room again for fear of a migraine and cold sweats

-Like,,, Daniel’s side was littered with cat treats and toys, bits of paper and sweaty dance gear though the picture frame of him and his mom was proudly displayed on his desk practically spotless and Jisung’s side,,, well let’s just say med books and scrubs galore

-Despite Daniel’s extroverted persona, he was very much a homebody and loved spending weekends on end cuddled up in bed with his cats binge watching Netflix or playing games tbh

-However, if he had a bboy competition or dance practice expect him there at LEAST 20 minutes early bc he loved dancing and it gave him time to warm up properly so he didn’t injure himself

-(Story time: once Daniel was rushing to dance class and tripped over his feet and injured his thumb. He didn’t think much of it until he was 30 minutes deep into his dance practice and fell flat on his face doing a spin bc his hand gave up on him. Turns out he fractured his radial bone in his fall and Jisung was very shocked to see him sat in the emergency room when he was doing his rounds)

-So yeah, Jisung despite his busy schedule always made sure Daniel was on time or early for things especially dance so he didn’t injure himself

-But boy can he dance

-Like, everyone was in awe of his dancing

-Obviously, he was extremely well known for his bboying bc quite frankly it was incredible at just how talented he was at it bc who the heck decides that spinning themselves around like that was something you could be really good and dedicate urself to but seeing Daniel do it ur like yeah ofc why wouldn’t you want to

-What shocked everyone though was the fact that he was INCREDIBLY good at contemporary dance

-There was a dance competition he attended in first year and the captain of the dance team asked him to do a special stage for contemporary and he enthusiastically agreed bc,,,, well he didn’t have opportunities to showcase it a lot in big routines

-It’s extremely safe to say that the audience was left breathless when he finished and rumour has it that Jisung cried at the end, though he would vehemently deny this at the time when his eyes were red from crying and Minhyun kept passing him tissues none too discreetly whilst his kids all laughed at him

-Ever since that day Daniel has always been scouted by the dance majors to help them choreograph their dance piece for their contemporary dance module

-Which also happened to be one of the dance modules Daniel took

-He really likes to help out and has a difficulty saying no to people

-Coincidentally, this contemporary dance module is where he first encountered you

-You are, for want of better words, are the most untouchable and icy person

-Everyone on campus found you intimidating bc you always appeared unapproachable, cold, distant and too elegant for people to even breathe near you for fear that you could possibly stab them

-You were also rumoured to be from an incredibly wealthy family,,,, though what they didn’t know was that your family cut you off and cast you out bc you pursued dance against their wishes

-All you were left with was your inheritance and whatever money your grandma and aunt sent you as a monthly allowance

-You didn’t hate this persona the student body had given you, it just meant that you were incredibly lonely and often times felt quite empty when you saw people around campus laughing and having fun with friends, and all the couples holding hands and going on dates

-Coming from such a background you had never know what it was like to make friends or fall in love

-You only knew business partners and were taught from a young age that everyone had an ulterior motive when they asked you to be friends

-Safe to say, you kinda already had this icy persona cultivated from such a young age

-Though when you got cut off you had hoped that people around you would see differently

-However, once the rumour mill starts it’s hard to get it to stop

-So you just roll with it, even if it makes the classes you attend awkward or you feel that dread of loneliness when you get back to your single dorm, unable to invite anyone round

-When you got to 2nd year, the option to specialise in contemporary and modern dance became available and you immediately jumped at the chance bc you LOVE this genre so much

-If anything it represented your life in a way

-You wanted to break free from this old, restricted you into a new, free you

-Your first day of contemporary and modern class was unlike anything you had experienced before

-Everything was different yet familiar to you that you left the class buzzing with excitement and nervousness

-After a few weeks, you were slowly emerging as the class’s top student much to everyone’s exasperation

-They all just rolled their eyes whenever your teacher praised you or used you as an example to the other students, which they hated tbh

-Only one student didn’t act like that

-And, you’ve guessed it, that one person is Daniel

-Admittedly, at first, you didn’t get him whatsoever and you actually rolled your eyes as you saw his 6ft frame stumble through the door, cast decorating his hand looking entirely out of place

-You honestly didn’t understand why he was there, especially when during the introductions he told everyone that he was a business major and did dance as a minor

-You just didn’t get the hype around him whatsoever, everyone else adored him and fawned over him both inside and outside of class that you didn’t want anything to do with him

-Which confused him when he tried to greet you in class one day and you just shrugged him off and went back to stretching

-All of that changed when ur dance teacher gave out your first assignment and had given you a duet piece with a certain Kang Daniel and inwardly, you groaned

-Not only were you going to have to cooperate with Mr Popular, but the whole class was glaring at you and whispering about favouritism and bribery

-Daniel, on the other hand, was DELIGHTED to finally work with you

-You see, you had caught his eye from the first day of class and he was so perplexed at everyone’s disdain for you

-In his eyes, you were an incredible dancer and Daniel really wanted to collaborate with you, and maybe he found u kinda cute but shhhhh

-After your teacher finished all their announcements about this upcoming assignment, Daniel bounded over to you like the big puppy he is

-“Hi, I’m Daniel! I can’t wait to work with you, it’s going to be so much fun!” his mouth is upturned into that big smile and his face is all crinkled bc he’s smiling so hard

-You’re just a little overwhelmed bc why is he so enthusiastic it’s literally 9am and ur running on iced coffee but as u stare at him u realise,,,, hey this boy is kinda cute when he smiles

-“Uh, yeah hi my name is Y/N”

-Nice one Y/N, you think to urself as you watch Daniel’s face drop as you returned his greetings very unenthusiastically

-“So, have you got any ideas about the project or songs you like?”

-He’s trying so hard bless him but ur just not very cooperative bc heck,,, no one has ever tried to spark a conversation with you ever at this college that u don’t really know what to do

-You just blink at him slowly and he’s a bit confused, pausing scrolling through his playlist of songs and he just looks at you

-“Are you okay? You’re a bit, I don’t know, dazed?”

-“Oh, um, yeah I’m fine just early morning class haha”

-“You’re never normally like this though”

-O H

-You can pinpoint the exact moment that Daniel maybe kinda regretted saying that to him bc he completely froze and was staring at the ground, red tinting his ears

-Cute,,,, wait does that mean that THE Kang Daniel has noticed me in class before??Aӣ1;

-Anyway,, it’s an awkward few moments with u and Daniel not saying to each other and trying to forget what he just said

-He continues to scroll through his playlist and you decide to go and stand next to him so you could see the songs

-They were all pretty good songs, the boy has good music taste

-But one in particular caught your attention

-“How about this one?” you pointed at one of the songs

-It was a song you loved and had always wanted to dance to, and the lyrics were too beautiful and really fitted the dance style

-Daniel’s eyes lit up when he saw what you were pointing at

-“That’s one of my favourites! Let’s listen to it now” and before you could even protest, Daniel had plugged in his headphones and then shyly put the other headphone piece into your ear

-WHELP THERE GOES MY HEART

-For the remainder of the class, the two of you sat in relative peace listening to the song and occasionally sharing ideas about what theme and moves you wanted to include

-As the class drew to a close, you couldn’t help but notice just how damn attractive Daniel was and u found yourself glancing at him way more often than you should’ve been and you nearly didn’t notice class finishing

-You were packing up your stuff when you felt a hand tap ur shoulder

-It was Daniel

-“Uh.. I was wondering if maybe I can give you my phone number so we can…. Meet up and practice?”

-Was Daniel blushing?? Ofc he was, how could he not he thinks you’re really cute and attractive and he doesn’t normally give his phone number out to anyone

-(He literally has his friends, mom and a few classmates from his societies and that’s IT)

-You blush as well, putting ur number into his phone and handing it back with a small smile

-ICY PERSONA WHO???

-Ur classmates were all very intrigued by this behaviour bc they’ve never actually seen you talk to anyone nor have they seen Daniel act so,,,, shy around someone

-Well, you get an immediate text from Daniel and ur first thought is,,,, why is he so damn cute???

-He just sent you loads of emojis and stuff gosh he’s really just a kid huh

-You quickly realised that Daniel was a very enthusiastic person and loved to text you what seemed to be all the time

-Like, you even asked if he actually slept and he reassured you that he does sleep bc his roommate made sure he did

-The first week of being acquainted with Daniel was such a shock to you bc he’d always say hello to you whenever he saw you and if you were walking to class u can bet that Daniel would frighten the living daylights out of you when he ran up behind you and slung an arm around your shoulder, asking about your day and ur like Daniel pls,,,, don’t do that again

-As the weeks progressed, you became much closer to Daniel and it wasn’t long before you were rarely seen without him

-Heck, you had even been invited to meet his cats bc he kept talking about them and showing you pictures that you joked about saying “maybe you should just let me meet them for myself”

-Well Daniel’s eyes lit up and he grabbed your hand, pulling you to his dorms whilst enthusing about Peter and Rooney that you couldn’t help but laugh

-Jisung gave you a funny look, that only Daniel noticed bc u were too busy cooing over Rooney, and Daniel FLUSHED

-Yeah, Daniel never lets anyone meet his cats bc they’re too precious to him and Jisung was like,,, oh baby u like them don’t you, you don’t let anyone meet your cats unless you like them

-Daniel tells him to shut up, red blooming all up his neck and ears and Jisung freaking smirks and whips out his phone to text the gc

-You’re oblivious to this all bc you’re cuddling Peter and Rooney on Daniel’s bed and ur startled out of ur cooing to Daniel sitting beside you, lifting Peter onto his lap

-(You end up falling asleep with Rooney and Daniel is like,,, is this an angel? He lays a blanket over you and brushes your hair softly, taking in all your features)

-(That’s when he realises okay maybe Jisung was right and maybe he does like you just a bit more than the admiration he had and maybe he wants to date you and stuff but you didn’t hear that from me)

-(Cue Daniel sending panicked texts to Jisung and just getting winky faces in return)

-ANYWAY

-Back to the duet the two of you were doing

-Creating the choreography almost came like second nature to the both of you and you always ended practice on such a high note

-There was one move you were always kinda reluctant to do

-And it was a jump into Daniel’s arms

-It’s not that you didn’t trust him not to catch you,, you just have never done this before and you were nervous

-Daniel constantly reassures you practice after practice but still,,, you’re too tense to complete the move

-It wasn’t until your final practices that you told Daniel that maybe you could do this

-He grabs your hand and rests his other one on your cheek, looking deep into your eyes

-“Trust me, I won’t let you fall”

-That doesn’t mean you’re not nervous but when you’re going through the motions of the song, immersing yourself in the music you realise that maybe the jump isn’t so bad after all

-You throw yourself into Daniel’s arms and his arms wrap securely around you

-You feel at ease

-And you realise, as the song progressed that maybe you wouldn’t mind staying in Daniel’s arms for longer

-You couldn’t deny that over the past few weeks that you grew closer to Daniel that you found yourself falling for him

-All the late night texts, Netflix “dates” and everything else, you saw the happy puppy vibe that you found yourself drawn to

-“Hey Daniel, for the end of the dance….. maybe we should ask for a curtain to be put up and we could you know…… pretend to kiss behind it?” you ask shyly, eyes cast downwards not wanting to see Daniel’s reaction

-Well, this boy was BLUSHING bc this was unlike anything you had ever suggested choreography wise and pretending to kiss his crush?? Kinda heartbroken but at the same time,,,, he was THRILLED

-It wasn’t like your choreography wasn’t suggestive as you decided to go for a love theme, focusing on the getting into a relationship and the fears of it, but a kiss??? That was so intimate for Daniel and he was not okay

-“Uh yeah!!! I think it could work!!! Let’s try adding it to the routine before the next lot of kids come in” and he bolts to the music desk to put the music back on

-When it comes to that part, Daniel gently holds your face and draws you close to him

-His touch is electrifying and you lean closer into him, eyes flicking to his lips momentarily

-You swear he was about to lean in but before you could find out, someone knocked on the door and you two jumped apart from each other

-“Uhh bye Daniel I’ll see you tomorrow for the performance yeah?” and with that you bolted, leaving a very confused Daniel touching his lip slightly before he went back to his dorm with a slightly dazed look

-Well, the two of you were kinda awkward as you met the next day donned in ur performance costumes

-The two of you were wearing matching loose white shirts and black slacks, and you were gripping onto some black blindfolds that were featured in ur performance

-U were kinda nervous bc you hadn’t ever performed a duet with someone you actually liked before and Daniel sensed that as he handed you a water bottle

-“Y/N, you’ll be fine we’ve done this 1000 times and we could do it a 1000 times more and I still would have no words to describe how incredible you are” he mumbled into your hair, arms wrapped around you tightly

-You sink into his embrace, letting him give you words of comfort and sweet nothings

-You stayed like that for what seemed like forever and were only interrupted by the backstage crew member who announced that you guys were up soon

-As you stood in the wings, Daniel interlaced his fingers with yours and smiled at you

-These past few weeks working on this project seemed to have flown by and you were sad that it was coming to an end

-Just as you were about to say something to him, he led you onto the stage, hands still intertwined and you swear you heard some guys wolf whistle (you did, Seongwoo and Woojin let out the biggest wolf whistles and Jisung had to literally clamp a hand over their mouths but he did admit that you two looked like a real couple)

-When the music kicked in, everything felt so…. Electric

-All of Daniel’s touches on you left little shocks on you and you were dizzy from how much you craved his touch even more

-As the song reached an end, Daniel grabbed your hand as you went to move behind the curtain and pulled you back to him

-And his hands landed on your waist and before you knew it, you felt his lips crash against you as the song hit it’s climax and you immediately melted into his touch

-Well, all of Daniel’s friends were wolf whistling now and the two of you broke apart to the sound of thunderous applause and whistles and a disapproving look from the mc of the evening

-Daniel just gave you an embarrassed grin and tugged you off stage, a matching grin gracing your face

-Well, it’s safe to assume that Daniel definitely asked you to date him after this performance much to the hollering of everyone backstage and the roar of approval from his friends when he introduced you to them properly, holding your hand tightly

-Dating Daniel is an actual dream

-I mean you’re dating the actual campus god and everyone is absolutely shocked that their campus golden boy is dating the most feared and iciest person on campus

-Thought,,, they were absolutely bowled over at the fact you no longer seemed so unapproachable and perfect as you laughed happily at whatever Daniel was telling you, leaning into his shoulder as the story got funnier

-Like,,, who was this person they thought they knew?? They’re gone lmao

-Daniel is also the CRINGIEST boy to date

-If he wants to kiss you he’ll be like “baby you’ve got something there” and before you could check he’d grab your chin and kiss you softly on the lips and ur like,,,, Kang Daniel u need to stop

-Jihoon and Woojin just look on disgusted bc how the HECK can you fall for his trick every single time

-Jisung just coos bc it’s like watching his baby grow up and find love, before swatting at the boys bc they’re making retching sounds or something

-Sleepovers at Daniel’s??? Absolutely especially when Jisung is on night shift and he has the place to himself wink wonk

-Lmao no, his cats are too precious to him he doesn’t want to scar them

-That’s reserved for when ur at ur place instead hehe

-Daniel really loves to have an arm around you at all times, especially around your shoulder bc it makes him feel so manly and protective what a dweeb

-He also teaches you how to ride his skateboard, though you protest a lot bc heck I may be a dancer Daniel but I have no balance on actual ground much less a skateboard I will fall

-He just grabs your hands and guides you slowly around the park, grinning as you shriek turning corners or something

-Will reward you with hundreds of kisses later though so is it worth it?

-Sometimes when ur not covered in bruises bc u kept falling off and rather than helping you Daniel ended up laughing bc he found it really funny

-Someone help him please

-Nights with Daniel are spent with Netflix playing in the background as you cuddle with the cats and he’s running his hand softly through your hair as you tell him all about how growing up you could never be you and always had to be perfect your parents

-I’m not saying he cried when you told him that you got cut off and haven’t seen your parents in years,,, but that’s what I’m saying bc he’s such a family orientated guy that he doesn’t know how you coped

-You have to wipe his tears away, calling him an idiot before kissing him deeply and well,,,, u kinda get the idea from here (daniel got a little caught up in the moment and forgot his cats were there lmao)

-Oh, speaking of family he definitely introduces you to his mom like a month into dating

-He tried to do it beforehand but Jisung literally locked his skype account so he wouldn’t scare you off lmao

-You needn’t have worried though bc Daniel’s mom ADORED you and was fawning over you on skype

-She basically became the mother you never had and she always text you asking if you were doing okay and stuff it’s just really sweet

-She comes up one weekend to see the two of you and now Daniel has three new photos on his desk next to the one of him and his mom

-There’s one the three of you together, then you and his mom,,,, then one of you and him that his mom took bc you looked so happy and in love that she couldn’t resist taking a photo how CUTE

-Anyway,,, he constantly is leaving his clothes at your place bc he’s forgetful but also he really wants to see how small you’d look in his clothes bc he’s a GIANT lbr here

-You do turn up to class one day wearing his shirt and Daniel malfunctions for the rest of the day bc it should be illegal how cute you look in his clothes

-Seongwoo and Sungwoon just snicker at him bc he’s so dazed that he missed his mouth whilst eating at the cafeteria bc he’s too busy staring at you

-Please protect this baby at all costs bc he’s so accident prone but also,,, he’s a damn mess and needs all the love in the world thnx bye

-You two are just sickeningly in love and it’s the best thing ever

-Daniel really helped you to grow and express your true self more and more and you couldn’t be more grateful whereas you helped Daniel love something beside his cats and mom

-Like,,, he was finally discovering how to love something and it was so pure and raw that you saw stars every time he looked at you, touched you, kissed you that galaxies were painted in your eyes and at the centre of it all was Daniel

-Young love huh, it’s truly remarkable

and that was the first installment of the college series for wanna one!! i hope you enjoyed it and i’ll be back very soon with some more content!!!

[mybumpbirthandbeyond]

Here we go again...

I’ll be honest I think I’m still a bit in shock, so I’ve tried to articulate my feelings on this as well as possible, but I can make no promises.

 It seems strange to say it’s a shock when we were trying for a baby, but this happened much quicker than we anticipated. I had, for some reason, suspected it would take longer the second time around, to the point we started trying slightly earlier than we had originally planned. Anyone who knows the story the first time around, knows we were told by a doctor I was pregnant because every test we did was negative. We must have literally just missed the best opportunity to test, because it came up in seconds in the doctor’s surgery.

This time around there wasn’t much indication other than being late, but I don’t have regular cycles and had already been about a week late the cycle before. I was feeling sluggish and fatigued and rehab was just not something I had any desire to do. I forced myself Sunday 2nd August and almost instantly regretted it. A chin-up felt like I was lugging a 10 tonne weight up and I couldn’t blow up a balloon to save my life, much to my frustration (and rage!) but I think I brought about a few laughs that night (even if they weren’t my own!), judging the responses to my Instagram videos!!

The next night I had finished work and Alex joked – you want to take a test just do it and see. I was adamant I was waiting until I was at least 7 days late, but something about the way he said it made me do it. I took one of each – a cheap one and a ClearBlue digital one (not the ones that tell you how far along you are, but the ones that spell it out digitally). It was instant. Granted, it was not the most magical moment telling Alex because I was so shocked that I just blurted it out, but it felt very special telling Cailean he was going to be a big brother. He had no idea what we were on about, but he still smiled! What I haven’t told anyone is, the date we found out about this pregnancy (3rd of August), was exactly the same date we found out about Cailean, two years ago. Funny how life works sometimes.

There were 3 people I had to tell, and they were not family. Of course, I’m referring to my physios. They are responsible for my rehab and I’m guessing it wouldn’t have taken them long to guess something was up. For my own health and well-being given the progress I had made, I could not kid myself that I could continue to keep that up at the same level given how the previous night had went. To be completely honest, I always knew I was going to tell them when it happened because it just made sense.

What I could not get over, was how quickly my tummy changed. Rightly or wrongly, I had always assumed second time round it would take longer to change – I had a tummy already and knowing my situation, no one would dare suspect anything else. I guess my progress may have made a rod for my own back, or maybe, it just wouldn’t have mattered, and I was always going to change quickly. From what I know, you show quicker second time, I just mistakenly thought this wouldn’t apply to me as quickly or in the same way. My tummy changed almost overnight. I’ll not lie when I say I was bit (a big bit) disappointed. I had worked so hard for so long to make real, physical, aesthetic progress, and within hours of finding out I was pregnant, I was starting to look every bit as. I couldn’t believe after working so hard for so long to get to that point, it was going to disappear quicker than snow off a dyke.

Not only that, but this was going to be a hell of a lot harder to hide than I thought. At approximately 8 weeks pregnant, I looked as I did when I was 4 months pregnant with Cailean!! I had to be really careful around people, in particular my mum, who takes Cailean once a week when we’re working and is also round regularly anyway.

 I don’t feel I have to justify my decision to have a second child to anyone, however my diastasis hasn’t had the impact you might think. The goal was always to get strong enough for the next pregnancy and thankfully, thanks to my amazing team, that has happened. However, we have always said we would like 2-2.5 years between our children and that didn’t change because of my condition. There is the consideration that I am not getting any younger (33 in a month), and ideally, I would like to finish having children by the time I was 35, when things get more complicated. Aside from that, I guess the added consideration was surgery. I want to make sure I’m still relatively young and fit as I can be to get through a major surgery and get back to fighting fit. I’m not going to be getting surgery immediately after a second child, so I have to account for the time between.

I’m guessing some of you may ask what my fears might be this time around given everything that has happened. My physios know that despite their reassurances, I can’t help but still be fearful of some aspects. However, I am in the best possible position to have them to guide me through this. I couldn’t ask for a better team anyway, but certainly not for this next stage.

 I used to be fearful of the fact it could get worse but Gráinne has told me that in her experience, many women in my position are more aware of it, and therefore manage it better this time around so it doesn’t necessarily get worse, or even as bad as the first time. She’s definitely eliminated that fear for me. To be honest, even if it did get worse for some reason, at least I know what I’m dealing with this time around, and at least I know I won’t be waiting almost 4 months postpartum for help either. I know what to do and I have the best people to help me to do it.

 My own personal fear is actually surrounding the rehab after. First time around I was just so glad to be getting help I just did it and did it consistently and was committed to doing all I could. This time, I’m worried that now I know where I can get to, what happens if I can’t make it back there? Or what happens if along the way, my expectations are too high and get frustrated and stop complying? What if I keep comparing myself and this time it’s completely different? What if having two kids makes it harder to dedicate the same time and energy to doing it? That probably seems ridiculous and to be honest, it’s as ridiculous for me to say out loud. I know I will make the time, and I have every confidence that I will get back to the same things under the guidance of my team. The thought of the time it will take, the mental and physical battle I will have to deal with and everything else is the overwhelming part. I guess I have no excuse this time around though – I’ve already done it once, I have to do it again.

The mental side has already been a struggle, but I always knew it would be. Can I repeat this over and over? It helps that I know how positively it ended up the first time, but I truly did expect this to be slightly easier, at least at this stage. I got to a point where I wasn’t worried about my tummy. I barely checked it because I didn’t need to. I didn’t worry about my breathing or engaging my pelvic floor - I didn’t need to worry about those things.  Now all I feel I do when I do exercises is worry about my tummy and what it’s doing. I’ve already had to start rolling on to my side to get out of bed because of some weird doming. I say weird, because the shape is nothing like it was previously – almost coming to a peak. It’s all soft which is good, but I’ve to try and minimise that where possible. As a result, I knew I had to ask about sit-ups. I think I knew the answer before I asked, but Gráinne confirmed exactly what I thought – it may be roll-backs from now on. At least until she’s seen the tummy and can call it definitively. When I sent over videos of a headlift, sit-up and roll-back the answer was actually worse than anticipated – no sit-ups, no roll-backs and if I do a press-up it was to be on the wall. I found them way too easy when I initially got back to press-ups, so asked if we could compromise at the slant bench and she agreed. When we had a face to face consult (more on that in another blog), she actually said roll-backs were okay which confirms there is no substitute for being able to assess in person, especially now. That aside, this was exactly what I was worried about – feeling crap 1st trimester and doing very little, and by the time I came to getting back into it, exercises would have to be modified or removed altogether. It feels like it’s accelerating so much quicker than I expected and that’s the most frustrating part. I totally got this all completely wrong – the process of modifying, the changes that would happen practically overnight, the difficulty in hiding it. All of it. If I’m honest, I feel stupid as a result, and I never deal well with feeling stupid. I guess I can’t be too hard on myself – I may have had expectations, but I’ve never been in this position before so how could I know what the actual reality would be? I now just need to forget structure, goals and expectations. That is undoubtedly the hardest part of all of this. I have built my progress wholly on the foundations of goals my physios and I put in place. Even at the point of no limitations, I was still trying to structure my workouts to different muscle groups, different exercises and different modifications. My expectations are always set so high that nothing but reaching them is acceptable. A fundamental flaw I know, but that flaw has kept me motivated and striving for perfection since day 1. I just need to accept my body is not my own again - I’m sharing it and there can be no expectations now. That may take some adjusting.

The physical side has been tough. Tougher than I thought. Already I feel I’ve been out of breath at times, something that didn’t happen until much later in my first pregnancy. My heart rate seems to be more elevated sooner as well, and I have had pain in my abdomen beyond just the normal stretching. This is not my body merely adjusting to another pregnancy. This is my body – that has been worked hard for over a year, that has thrived on high level activity, that has gotten to a point that I’m stronger than I ever have been – going from 3, sometimes 4 (mainly 4 until I was told off!) times a week high level activity to doing 2 times a week if I’m lucky, nothing if I’m not. I was hell bent on working hard, not just for me, but also for my physios. Mainly for them. Anything other than that would disrespectful and completely unacceptable in my book. I’ve always worked hard but this was even more important – I was proving them right to everyone else; showing that their practices work. I was addicted to the progress; addicted to the high of achieving, of pushing hard and succeeding where before I wouldn’t have dared to dream of it. That is not something you wean yourself off lightly. The higher you go, the further you have to fall. If you struggled with the idea of not being able to do something but knowing it might take time – imagine knowing you can’t do something you previously could, and you don’t know when you’ll do it again. I didn’t know the last time I did a sit-up would be the last time for a long time. This is not me being ungrateful. This is me being honest. I stopped by the mirror the other night and almost did a double take. I have changed so much already, and it really is a miracle what the human body can do. But the rate at which I’m having to adjust; the rate at which my body is changing this time around, is making my head spin and it almost feels like it’s out of control.

I should point out that it’s different this time. Last time, I lay down to all the symptoms of early pregnancy. I didn’t do a thing in my first trimester and went to the gym once in my second. Other than walking the dogs and pregnancy yoga, I did very little. Anything I do this time around is already more than what I did last time and I managed to produce a very strong, healthy baby boy. That is all that matters at the end of the day. Whatever happens with my own recovery this time around, if my baby is healthy then that’s all that matters. I’ll deal with what I have to deal with when the time comes. I’ve done it before; I can do it again. I was strong enough once; I’ll be strong enough again.

 I never want my frustrations to be misconstrued. I am and always will be eternally grateful to my physios. I might not like what they tell me in that I am disappointed – certainly at this early point – but I fully respect and appreciate it and I will follow everything they tell me without hesitation. I trust them implicitly and I have no doubt whatsoever in anything they tell me. I am lucky to have them, and you will never hear anything other than that from me. I hope they know that by now. My frustrations are just a product of expectation vs reality: exactly the same as that graph Gráinne sent me that I’ve mentioned previously. I had an image in my head of what I thought would happen and it hasn’t happened that way. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I should I have brought this up before now and asked the question. The truth is, I’m not sure they could answer – no one can predict how each individual’s body is going to respond to the massive changes pregnancy brings, or the rate at which they occur, and that’s without a diastasis.

It helped me massively to say a lot of these things out loud. Not everything – some of this has come with time to reflect, but some of the key things anyway. We had a consult a few weeks ago – the first in a few months – and from my perspective, it was definitely needed. I haven’t been able to be honest about how I’m feeling because nobody knew, and even more to the point, nobody could understand. I couldn’t share what was actually happening with my rehab because I was at risk of giving the game away. I have been open and honest throughout but have had to hide this for what seems like ages. The three people I needed to speak to most were my team. That day, they were incredible as always and vocalised how they would support me every step of the way and told me how they know I have this in hand. I may cut a laid back, and relaxed figure who made a few jokes, but the truth is I was overwhelmed and touched by their words and didn’t know how to respond other than to thank them. Pretty lame. I can articulate myself well most of the time, but in this experience, so many things have made me speechless I’ve started to think I’m losing the knack.

I can’t put into words how they made me feel in that consult. Grateful and lucky beyond measure that they could have done so much for me already and want to do even more to support me going forward. Emotional that they would want to do that for me. I could blame the hormones but that would be a lie and I’m not so great at that – even in writing. At the end of the day, as I have already pointed out – I am one of many, many women who they see in my position – I’ll not be the first, the last or the most memorable, but I can guarantee that I will certainly never forget what they have done for me - even to this point - let alone what’s to come.

So here we go again? Well…not quite. This will be a very different experience to last time. I have all the help and support I need with this from day one and could not be more relieved by that. I’m sure there will be days when it’s a slog like last time. I’m sure there will be tears like last time. I’m sure there’s going to be a hell of a lot of hard work like last time. But I also know there will be the highs and the progress like last time and that, and of course my team, will keep me going every day. I owe it to the countless numbers of women in the same position, the countless physios who have contacted me to remark on my progress, and most importantly, to my own incredible physios to give this everything I have, once again – so that part? Definitely here we go again…

[mrsirishboru]

Hell On Wheels Ch7

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MENTIONS OF MISSCARIAGE! 

He had fallen asleep, not longer after you laid back, his arms were wrapped around your back with his head laying on your boob's. You had both hands resting on his back, suddenly you started thinking 'I could get used to this'

Of course, you were having an argument with yourself inside your head. Being pulled from your thoughts your phone rang from the small table behind you.

Reaching around making sure not to wake him up, you looked at the caller ID.

'Hap'

Rolling your eyes you slid the answer button over, accepting the call.

"what do you want now, a babysitter?" you questioned him

"Actually no, she lost it. Has Juice contacted you?" he spoke, obviously pissed

Looking down at him sleeping on top of you, the small content smile on his face; you couldn't tell him he was here. It would be murder, not only did you not want the press to start stuff about something like that you knew deep down Juice was a good guy and deserved so much more.

"No he hasn't, what's going on?" you acted as if you knew nothing

"just some club shit. If you hear from him tell me" he didn't quite ask but he wasn't one for asking more of a demanding type person.

"Yeah. No problem" you said,

"K" was all he said and the line went dead.

Turning the screen off you placed your phone on the edge of the couch next to your leg. You laid your head back, closing your eyes.

You knew the club rules, if you were caught helping a rat you died too but would they do that to you?

You tried to sleep but couldn't as the thought kept coming back into mind.

Several hours later the rest of your crew came back onto the bus, giving you a funny look as they saw him laying down on top of you.

"He's going to be staying with us for a while," you told them before they had a chance to ask

"where? All the bunks are full" Your bass player Adam spoke

"with me in the back" you smiled softly, they had heard part of what was going on from when Juice first came onto the bus. They probably all just assumed that he was basically family to you and didn't question it.

The clock on the wall 9:21 AM, as he started to wake up. Using his hands to push himself up in a push-up style, you just looked up at him. Somehow while the two of you were asleep you both managed to scoot face to face.

"sorry for falling asleep on you" he laughed as that goofy smile of his spread across his face.

"Don't worry about it" you softly smiled, still half asleep

He got up and sat on the other end of the couch, and rested his head in the palm of his hand with his elbows on his knees.

You sat up and pulled your knees to your chest and just watched him for a few minutes

"I better go, I know you got stuff to do," He said as stood up and started towards the door.

You were quick to grab his wrist before he had a chance to open the door,

"No, stay?" You begged, god only knows how long he would last on his own until the club found him

"I can't do that to you, you've done nothing but love that club for as long I've known you. I can't make you turn your back on them for me" he pleaded, him as well knowing what would happen if the club knew you were helping him

"You're not making me do anything, it's my decision" You smiled weakly at him

"What happens if they find out?" he questioned again trying to talk you out of it, deep down he knew he wasn't going to win but was still going to put up a fight

"I'll deal with it, if or when the time comes. For now sit down, try to relax" you gave him another soft smile, this time him doing as told.

The both of you sat down on the couch, this time there was an awkward silence and it stayed for a good 10 minutes.

"Let me get changed and we will go get you whatever you need. This tour just started it won't be over for a good while" you said patting his leg, not exactly knowing why you did it you made sure to pull your hand back very quickly.

"I can't just let you buy me stuff that I need," he said as he looked at you out of the corner of his eyes

"True, but you can't stop me either," You said, he knew how stubborn you were so he just smiled. You returned the smile, as you stood up from the couch and headed into the back of the bus where your 'bedroom' was.

Sliding the door open you walked in nearly tripping over the piles of clothes and shoes that littered the floor, alongside the whole room which wasn't that big.

You searched through all the clothes, looking for something warm to wear considering you were in North Dakota in the middle of winter it was freezing.

Finding a pair of pink skinny jeans you pulled them on and searched for a shirt, you settled for a gray long sleeve. Eyeing the leopard uggs you had gotten a few days prior you pulled them on.

Pulling a varsity jacket that was extra thick from your closet, you realized you had so much room in it but nothing was in it. It was all over the floor.

'Juice will clean it' you said to yourself, as you looked around at the disaster in front of you.

You remembered just how OCD he was, you laughed at your thoughts as you exited the room sliding the door shut you grabbed your bag off the table as you stepped into the living area.

"You still don't have to do this,paparazzis" he said as he stood up and got ready to leave with you

"I know" You smiled as you lead the way off the bus.

Walking past all of the semis and buses in search of the semi with your truck in it, your manager spotted you.

'Sir I'm going to have to ask you to step away from her before I call security" Your manager Mick, said from behind the two of you.

You turned around, as he stepped closer.

"Relax" you laughed

"He's fine. We're going to do some shopping, he's a friend" You told him trying to ease his mind

"Oh, sorry. I just worry, you how some of the popz can be" He said, you knew that the paparazzi's truly were the worst.

"No worries. Mick this is Juice, Juice this is Mick. My manager" You introduced the two of them

They shook hands and exchanged a few words, Mick looked at you

"Make sure you get him a pass" he told you, as he answered his ringing phone

"Will do" You told him, as you continued to look for the semi with your truck in it

After another few minutes of looking, you found it, with one of the unloaders standing near it

"Do you need your truck ma'am?" he asked as soon as he noticed you

"Yes, Please" You smiled at him. He pulled the door open and let the lift down, as he got inside and backed it out.

Stepping out of your truck, you smiled at him

"Thank you" You said as you got into the driver seat.

Juice got in on the passenger side and buckled his seatbelt as you did the same.

Putting the truck into drive you, headed towards downtown Bismarck, ND.

[tophatal]

     Let My People Go  ….

Well the  NFL preseason is almost upon us  and the    first  game   of the  preseason  schedule will be the Hall of Game featuring the   Chicago  Bears    facing  the  Baltimore  Ravens   on   Thursday  2nd August,  2018.   Meanwhile  off the  field  , the  big  news’ story   within the  league  has  been  the  comments  from  Stephen Jones    and  his  father  Jerry  Jones ,    front  office  executives   for the  Dallas  Cowboys .   Jones   Sr   has  let  it  be  known  that any   player  on the team’s  roster   refusing  the  stand  during the playing  of the  National  Anthem    could  face  dismissal  from the  Cowboys  as  well  as the mandatory fines  likely  to be levied  by  the  NFL  hierarchy.

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Slide show.

As  the  NFL  continues  to  try  and  justify their  latest  policy  change  , it is  becoming  increasing  clear  the  owners  have  taken   a  stance  with   the exception  of   New  York  Jets’ owner    Woody  Johnson  who  has  stated categorically  ,  he  is  prepared  to stand by any  player   on the   team    who   wishes to  oppose  the   ruling  now  in  place by  the league.   NFL   Commissioner   Roger  Goodell , has  somehow  engulfed  the  league  in a   public relations’  nightmare  which it  cannot  win .     Former  CEO  and  founder  of   pizza  chain restaurant  Papa  John’s    ,   John   Schnatter has  resigned  from the  company  after  his   racist  comments were  made   public.  Schnatter  at  the time,   was  speaking  with a  public relations’   firm   seeking their  input   into  ways  of   increasing  sales  , when  he  chose  to use  certain racially  derogatory  terms  to  describe   African-Americans  and  Hispanics.    Had he not resigned  , then  it  was  almost  certain that  his    Board  of  Directors   would  have  sought  his ouster.   Papa  John’s  still remains  an  NFL  partner  , but  has  seen  it’s   association  with  several    NBA  franchises abruptly  come  to  an  end.

From my own  standpoint ,  this  upcoming  season within the  NFL   will  not  be  one  where  I will  be  taking  a  keen  interest  in the   regular  season , let  alone what   might  take  place  during the  postseason.  This league  has  lost  all  credibility , while the NFLPA  (players union)  remains  a body  unwilling  to  support  when  of their  own  when  needed  the  most.

The NBA off-season has proven to be an interesting one with the departure of LeBron James , as he left the Cleveland Cavaliers to join the Los Angeles Lakers . James fulfilled the wish of his hometown franchise by bringing them their first professional franchise title in over five decades. However, the team that LeBron James now leaves behind will not be one that will be considered among the favorites within the Eastern Conference for the upcoming regular season. James’ departure might be seen as a big coup for the Lakers, but not less than forty-eight hours after the announcement was made , reigning NBA champions the Golden State Warriors were able to swoop in and sign DeMarcus Cousins to a one-year $5.3 million deal , veteran’s minimum . For those now crying foul , please stop with the idiocy and the complaints of the league lacking parity and competitiveness. The money now involved in the NBA, now creates a chasm between the top teams and in actuality to my mind , this has more to do with the culture now sought by front office executives and NBA hierarchy led by Commissioner Adam Silver . His predecessor , David Stern simply did not do enough by way of a league salary cap or seeking to keep those contracts in check.

This season , the number of players in the NBA earning more than $25 million a year will be at an all-time high , with the Russell Westbrook being the highest-paid player in the league by way of his contract. The long held belief that Gregg Popovich is a master tactician is not lost on many , but somehow in spite of his coaching prowess , this five-time championship winning coach was unable to persuade Kawhi Leonard to remain with the San Antonio Spurs . Instead the two-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year has found himself a new home, having been traded to the Toronto Raptors in exchange for DeMar DeRozan , one of the most productive players in the NBA over this past season.It will be interesting to see what the veteran forward can offer the Spurs as they embark on another season .

MLB enters its second-half of the season after an interesting first-half and an All Star Game Weekend of festivities filled with a great deal of excitement . The non-waiver trade deadline is now in focus and there are likely to be several players on the move by 4:00 pm today, the deadline for all trades . The Baltimore Orioles now appear to be in a rebuilding process and it would seem that after their trade of Manny Machado , there is the likelihood that Adam Jones could be the next player on the move. Not racked by injuries but this is a team which seems to be lacking in confidence and where manager Buck Showalter now has to look to the future. Chris Davis is no longer the player who hit 50 home runs in a season , while powering their offense. If this season is anything to go by the Orioles have been a non-starter.

Over their last ten games the Baltimore Orioles have posted a moribund 5-5 record . They’re out of the wildcard contention and their divisional record is abysmal . The Orioles are in action today where they face the New York Yankee s on the road , with Yefry Ramirez of the visiting team facing Masahiro Tanaka of the Yankees , as part of their regular season schedule.

If you can’t beat them, then you just give up , continue to make excuses for your incompetence. There’s no other way to describe the continued woes of the New York Mets . Often seen as the ugly sister to their crosstown rivals the New York Yankees. The Mets continue to be abysmal for a variety of reasons , while their long-suffering and idiotic fans make excuses for the ball-club’s malaise. This Micky Callaway managed team has a look of defeat about them which has become so contagious and bewildering. The best performing player for the Mets this season has been Jacob deGrom , around whom there are now constant trade rumors concerning the starting pitcher. It is likely that the Mets’ front office will listen to offers for deGrom and quite possibly his teammate Noah Syndergaard . With two months left on the schedule , it seems now might be the time to take the chance on looking to the future by calling up several of their most promising players within their farm system. Micky Callaway will prepare the Mets for their next several games , starting off with Tuesday’s contest against the Washington Nationals at Nationals Ballpark in Washington, DC.

Once again the Tampa Bay Rays find themselves in a position where at this point of the season they are sellers rather than buyers. News now circulating , based on conditions of anonymity , the Rays will be trading their starting pitcher Chris Archer to the Pittsburgh Pirates . Archer was one of the few desirable starting pitchers sought at the deadline and it is believed that the Rays will obtain Austin Meadows and Tyler Glasnow in return for the AL ace . Archers’s last start for the Rays was in game against the Baltimore Orioles, a 15-5 loss , where he pitched six innings in the contest . . Chris Archer’s contract becomes an amenable one for the Pirates to have , with just two years remaining on his existing deal. Rays’ manager Kevin Cash and senior members within the front office will have a hard time trying to convince the fans that this proposed deal will be in the best interests of the ball-club.

The Tampa Bay Rays have nothing to play for but their pride as their season winds down. Next up for the Rays will be a three-game set against the Los Angeles Angels beginning on Tuesday .

There’s no doubt in my mind that Dave Roberts of the Los Angeles Dodgers remains under the gun and with the Dodgers failing to win the World Series in 2017 , with their first appearance in the Fall Classic, with their falling to the Houston Astros. I have to ask myself how much more can Mark Walter and Magic Johnson take as the primary owners of this ball-club ? Since acquiring the ball-club from Frank McCourt via bankruptcy proceedings the Dodgers have committed over $1.6 billion in salaries on a litany of players. This year the Dodgers possess one of the highest payrolls in all of baseball ,with their starting pitcher Clayton Kershaw leading the way with a whopping $33 million price-tag for his services in 2018. While the Los Angeles Dodgers find themselves with a struggle within the NL West , the question remains what will this team have to do in order to bring the franchise their first World Series’ title in almost three decades?

Dave Roberts and the Los Angeles Dodgers will be in action on Wednesday afternoon when the team faces the Milwaukee Brewers at home in a clash between NL counterparts. The front office of the Dodgers made some moves which they deem to be beneficial, as they look to wind down their regular season schedule. While Idon’t believe that Mark Walter and Magic Johnson will fire Dave Roberts should the team fail to make the postseason , I do believe there will be rumblings among the fan-base for something to be done.

What do you believe are the main stories now breaking within the world of sports and do you feel that the comments made by both Jerry Jones and Dak Prescott have any basis in merit ?

Tophatal ………….

NFL news

NFL Hall of Fame Game

NFL week on preseason

NFL standings (division preseason)

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NBA news

NBA transactions

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MLB news

MLB standings (divisional) and wildcard standings

MLB schedule three days at a glance (31st July to 2nd August )

MLB transactions

Byron Scott, the now fired former coach of the Hornets. GM , Jeff Bower who has now assumeed the position of head coach on an interim basis. And assistant coach , Tim Floyd. It’s safe to assume that the reins may well be handed over to Floyd at some time in the future given the fact Bower has no experience as a coach of any kind with regard to the NBA . picture apears courtesy of nbae/ getty images / Richard Tyson …………..

Rays’ third baseman , Evan Longoria at the plate for team. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Vic Hallam

Carl Crawford’s three-run home run in the sixth inning highlighted Tampa Bay’s three-game sweep of the Angels. The Rays are five games over .500 for the first time in team history. photo appears courtesy of the Associated Press/ Mike Carlson ………….

Gatots’ player Tim Tebow (15) and his coach Urban Meyer discuss their options during a game. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Chris Dickson ……………….

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig’s steroids proposal, made to the union last month, calls for a 50-game ban for first offenders, a 100-game penalty for second offenders and a lifetime ban for a third positive test. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press / Adam Roundtree …….

Carolina Panthers’ Julius Peppers saluting fans as he walks off the field after the Panthers’ 23-10 win over the New Orleans Saints in an NFL football game in Charlotte, N.C. The Panthers have decided the price is too steep to keep their all-time sacks leader. It means five-time Pro Bowl defensive end Julius Peppers is about to become one of the top prizes in free agency. Agent Carl Carey says the Panthers have told him they won’t place the restrictive franchise tag on Peppers for a second consecutive year at a cost of more than $20 million. The move Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010, comes two days before the tag deadline. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Rick Havner ……

Mike Dunleavy (#17) of the Indiana Pacers goes up for the lay up against Brendan Haywood (#33) of the Dallas Mavericks during a game at the American Airlines Center on February 22, 2010 in Dallas, Texas. photo appears courtesy of NBAE/ Getty Images/ Glenn James ……………….

University of Michigan President Mary Sue Coleman, left, and head football coach Rich Rodriguez, right, are shown at a news conference in Ann Arbor, Mich., Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010. The NCAA has found that Michigan’s storied football program was out of compliance with practice time rules under coach Rodriguez. Incoming athletic director David Brandon disclosed the finding Tuesday. He says there were no surprises in the NCAA findings. He also says Rodriguez remains the coach. Michigan has 90 days to respond and will appear at an NCAA hearing on infractions in August. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Paul Sancya ……

Los Angeles -January 13th 2010. New head coach of the USC Trojans Lane Kiffin shakes a hand as he makes his way to his press conference at Heritage Hall in Los Angeles, California. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Harry How ……………..

Duke’s Jon Scheyer collides with Virginia Tech’s Malcolm Delaney, left, during the first half. Scheyer scored 25 points and collected 10 rebounds in the win. The Blue Devils defeated Virginia Tech (Hokies) 67-55 in the game . photo appears courtesy of Associated Press / Sara Davis ……………..

Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts speaks to the media Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010 at the Chicago Cubs spring training facility in Mesa, Ariz. photo appears Assoc. Press/ Matt York ….

Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella, right, along with coaches Matt Sinatro, middle, and Lester Strode watch pitchers warm up during spring training baseball camp practice Saturday, Feb. 20, 2010, in Mesa, Ariz. photo appears courtesy of Assoc. Press/ Ross D. Franklin ………..

Minnesota Twins pitcher Joe Mauer swings in the batting cage at baseball spring training in Fort Myers, Fla., Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. photo appears courtesy of Assoc Press/ Nati Harnik …….

Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, left, watches batting practice with Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez during spring training baseball Wednesday, Feb. 24, 2010, in Jupiter, Fla. With the smallest payroll in the majors last year, the Marlins won 87 games and finished six games behind eventual league champion Philadelphia in the NL East. Visiting spring training to watch the first full-squad workout, Loria said the 2009 Marlins underachieved. photo appears courtesy of Assoc Press/Jeff Roberson ……..

Israeli model Bar Refaeli seen here doing a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition phot-shoot.

Ray Allen (#20) of the Boston Celtics looks for a play against LeBron James (#23) of the Cleveland Cavaliers on February 25, 2010 at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. photo appears courtesy of NBAE/ Getty Images/ Brian Babbineau …..

Floyd Mayweather, left, and current WBA welterweight super champion Shane Mosley exchange words during a news conference in New York, Tuesday, March 2, 2010. The press conference was to promote their May 1, 2010 fight in Las Vegas, Nevada. photo appears courtesy of Assoc Press/ Seth Wenig ……..

Floyd Mayweather, left, and current WBA welterweight world champion Shane Mosley pose for a picture during a news conference in New York, Tuesday, March 2, 2010. The news conference was to promote their May 1, 2010 fight in Las Vegas, Nevada. photo appears courtesy of Assoc Press /Seth Wenig

Scott Boras, chided for bonus demands for amateur clients, says the Major League Baseball draft needs restructuring. “In this system, everybody thinks this is about money. No, this is about saving money. It allows for less mistakes,” he says. photo appears courtesy of USA Today Jason M. Millstein ………………..

Commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud Selig and actress Sarah-Jessica Parker take part in an on field presentation during the 79th MLB All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium on July 15, 2008 in the Bronx borough of New York City. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images North America / Jim McIsaac ……………

Stacey Dash , actress , designer and entrepreneur .

Jennifer Aniston shows us that she’s more than willing to be your ‘friend’ ?

Model & Playboby playmate Naureen Zaim . Who wouldn’t mind teaching her a lesson or two on human anatomy ?

Cuban American actress & model Natalie Martinez

Martinez again looking good as only she possibly can !

Oh mon ami ! she possibly can ! Je t’aime !</strong

Who wouldn’t want to play with Natalie Martinez ?

Well hello there !

Model & actress Natalie Martinez ……….

Actress & model Natalie Martinez …….. Who wouldn’t want to get ahold of her rims ? I know I would !

New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez watches his fly-out in the first inning of a spring training baseball game against the Philadelphia Phillies, Friday, March 26, 2010, in Tampa, Fla. photo appears courtesy of Assoc Press / Mike Carlson ….

Sarasoata , Fl ,. Infielder Adrian Beltre (29) of the Boston Red Sox throws over to first for an out against the Baltimore Orioles during a Grapefruit League Spring Training Game at Ed Smith Stadium on March 27, 2010 in Sarasota, Florida. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ J Meric ……….

St. Louis , Bobby Maze (3) of the Tennessee Volunteers looks to shoot the ball against Mike Kebler (20) and Draymond Green (23) both of the Michigan State Spartans during the midwest regional final of the 2010 NCAA men’s basketball tournament at the Edward Jones Dome on March 28, 2010 in St. Louis, Missouri. Michigan State beat Tennessee 70-69. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Dilip Vishwanat …

The Duke Blue Devils hold up the trophy after a 78-71 win over the Baylor Bears in the south regional final of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament at Reliant Stadium in Houston on Sunday. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Ronald Martinez …

Butler’s Nick Rodgers hold up the West Regional trophy as the team returned home to Indianapolis amid a throng of fans after earning a spot in the Final Four with a victory over Kansas State Saturday. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ A J Mast ………..

West Virginia’s Da’Sean Butler and Joe Mazzulla hug after the game. Butler scored 18 points and Mazulla pitched in a career-high 17 to help West Virginia hold off the Wildcats. The Mountaineers would defeat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-66 to make their way the Final Four of the NCAA Tournament. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Jim McIsaac ……….

Russian actress & model Anya Monzikova . Who wouldn’t want some of Monzikova alongside some fresh Beluga caviar ?

2008 Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford. The player is widely expected to be taken number one overall in the upcoming NFL Draft. The team with the first pick are the NFC’s St Louis Rams . photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Chris Rogers ………..

Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb. The player is said to want to remain with the Eagles but it’s becoming clear that he will be traded sooner rather than later. Eagles’ coach Andy Reid and team President Joe Banner are willing to listen to offers for the Pro Bowler. photo appears courtesy of US Presswire/ Jody Gomez ………….

Tebow (15) left is seen here alongside his former college coach Urban Meyer. The two proved to be very sucessfule as a team combining to win two national titles in four years. photo appears courtesy of boston.com/ articles …………

DeMaurice Smith Executive Director of the NFLPA. Smith who assumed the position after the death of his predecessor Gene Upshaw. He was elected to the position by the board members of the Players’ Association. Smith was a corporate litigation attorney for the DC law firm Patton Boggs. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Phillip Mitchell

Carlos Boozer #5 of the Utah Jazz has his shot challenged by Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on April 2, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. The Lakers would go on to defeat the Jazz 102-96 in the game . photo appears courtesy of NBAE/ Getty Images/ Andrew D Bernstein ………..

Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles. The player was traded to the Washington Redskins a divisional rival in the NFC East. It adds to the flavor this upcoming season when the player meets his ‘former team’ . photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Hugh Malcolm ………………..

Baylor’s Brittney Griner and U Conn’s Maya Moore are seen here during the women’s Final Four game between the two teams. Geno Auriemma’s Huskies would go on to defeat the Baylor Lady Bears 70-50 in the game played at the Alamodome in San Antonio , Texas , Sunday April 4th 2010. photo appears courtesy of Getty Images/ Alicia Mack ………..

Cleveland Browns nose tackle Shaun Rogers and his lawyer Patrick D’Angelo, center, talk to reporters after leaving Cleveland Police Headquarters where Rogers was charged with one felony count of carrying a concealed weapon on Friday, April 2, 2010, in Cleveland, Ohio. Rogers was arrested at Cleveland Hopkins International airport on Thursday after he tried to take a loaded handgun through airport security. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Jason Miller …..

Butler head coach Brad Stevens , left to right, Gordon Hayward and Ronald Nored smile during an interview session for the men’s NCAA Final Four college basketball championship Sunday, April 4, 2010, in Indianapolis. The Butler Bulldogs will face Mike Krzyzewski’s Duke Blue Devils in the championship game Monday night to be played at Lucas Oil Stadium , Indianapolis, Indiana. This in many ways will be very much a “home game” for the small and in-obtrusive college team from Indiana. The furor over over their improbable journey has resonated within the state and across the nation. photo appears courtesy of Associated Press/ Mark J Terrill ……………

Los Angeles, April 4th 2010. Manu Ginobil (20) of the San Antonio Spurs goes to the basket against Luke Walton (4) of the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on Sunday. The San Antonio Spurs would go on to defeat the Los Angeles Lakers 100-81 in a game played at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. photo appears courtesy of NBAE/ Getty Images/ Noah Grahame …………….

Tiki Barber and his wife Gina Cha. Barber’s wife is six months pregnant with twins and is now in the midst of separating from the former NFL star. photo appears courtesy of Wire Image/ Duffie Marie Arnoult ………….

23 year old Traci Lynn Johnson an intern with NBC Universal and who works alongside Tiki Barber on the NBC morning show “The Today Show” . Barber and Johnson are romantically involved and the former NFL star has now separated from his wife of 11 years , Gina Cha. The couple have two children with twin now on the way in terms of Cha’s pregnancy. photo appears courtesy of Social Media SEO ……….

http://www.nfl.com/draft/2010/tracker#dt-tabs:dt-by-round/dt-by-round-input:1

Playboy Playmate Kayle Collins …………August 2008. Is there a need to proceed further concerning Kayle’s attributes ?

Jameer Nelson of the Orlando Magic goes for the layup in the Eastern Conference semi-final game played against the Atlanta Hawks. NBAE/ Getty Images/ Fernando Medina ………

Head Coach Jerry Sloan of the Utah Jazz fields questions from the media following his team’s loss to the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Two of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 4, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NBAE Getty Images _ Andrew D Bernstein

Kobe Bryant (24) of the Los Angeles Lakers shoots against Deron Williams (8 )of the Utah Jazz in Game Two of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 4, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NBAE Getty Images/ Noah D Bernstein

JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA – JUNE 24: (L-R) Robert Vittek, Martin Skrtel and Radoslav Zabavnik of Slovakia celebrate victory after knocking Italy out of the competition during the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Group F match between Slovakia and Italy at Ellis Park Stadium on June 24, 2010 in Johannesburg, South Africa. Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images ……

Johannesburg , South Africa – June 24 th 2010. Kamil Kopunek of Slovakia celebrates scoring his team’s third goal during the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Group F match between Slovakia and Italy at Ellis Park Stadium on June 24, 2010 in Johannesburg, South Africa. Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images ……

Fabio Cannavaro, captain of Italy, leaves the field dejected after being knocked out of the competition by Slovakia during the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Group F match between Slovakia and Italy at Ellis Park Stadium on June 24, 2010 in Johannesburg, South Africa. Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images ………

In this Sept. 18, 2010, photo, Florida Marlins’ Dan Uggla bats in a baseball game against the Chicago Cubs in Miami. Uggla has been traded from the Marlins to the Atlanta Braves for infielder Omar Infante and left-hander Mike Dunn. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

This is a 2008 file photo of Dan Uggla of the Florida Marlins baseball team. Uggla and the Atlanta Braves have reached a preliminary agreement on a $62 million, five-year contract, a person familiar with the negotiations told The Associated Press Wednesday Jan. 5, 2011 on condition of anonymity because the agreement was not yet final. (AP Photo/Rob Carr, File)

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Baltimore Orioles starting pitcher Wei-Yin Chen (16), of Taiwan, comes into the dugout following the fourth inning of a baseball game against the Tampa Bay Rays, Saturday, Aug. 4, 2012, in St. Petersburg, Fla. (AP Photo/Brian Blanco)

ST. PETERSBURG – AUGUST 04: Designated hitter Jeff Keppinger #7 of the Tampa Bay Rays fouls off a pitch against the Baltimore Orioles during the game at Tropicana Field on August 4, 2012 in St. Petersburg, Florida. (Photo by J. Meric/Getty Images)

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Let My People Go ….      Let My People Go  .... Well the  NFL preseason is almost upon us  and the    first  game…