#actually valid reasons and then it's just. you are friends with my friends but you two are better friends. i now have you both on a hitlist

[sunnywalnut]

THANK YOU.

Tbh I did not expect you to actually respond and add to this post, but I am THOROUGHLY grateful you have. But I also would like to inform you(and anyone else that's uncertain about their ability to repost this)

Self diagnosis is valid.

Being officially diagnosed is a luxury.

Often one that is usually only given to those that show extreme or undeniable traits. And even then, you still could be denied.

I was 12 when I was diagnosed with autism. People have known something was "off" since I was 4.

I was able to feel the sideways curves in my spine and see that my shoulders were uneven before I got diagnosis for "mild" scoliosis at 19, after living a life complaining of back and rib pain.

I've felt my joints, all the way from my fingers to my toes, all fall out of place since I was 10, often times having to have my own mother massage my knees back into place so that I could walk, and even spraining my ankles simply going upstairs. All of which fell on deaf ears for the entire 20+ years of my life despite countless professionals, from muscular skeletal to rheumatoid specialists and even physical therapists confirming that I have hEds and possibly early signs of rheumatoid arthritis. And yet they still cannot diagnose it because they "can't treat it"

And the reason I say all of this is because I used to worry the same thing. If maybe by claiming this diagnosis as my own, that somehow I was doing something wrong. Or taking something away from someone else. However, I want to let you all in on a little secret.

If you're actively experiencing symptoms, you're not faking it.

You might label the symptoms wrong, yes, but that doesn't mean that they're not there. People get officially misdiagnosed all the time! Because a lot of medical things have a bunch of overarching symptoms that overlap! And you could have so many things going on all at once!

And sure. You're not a doctor. So you might miss something or assign too much importance to it, but that's fine! You're allowed to make mistakes!

Unless you are actively pushing a harmful narrative or making life harder for them, you are not taking anything away from those who are officially diagnosed.

Wear your headphones in public, ask your friend to lower the music, buy a shower chair and lie to the cashier telling them it's for your grandma, pick up a super fluffy stuffed animal just because the texture is calming, take a look at the cool little canes at the thrift shop, do whatever helps you.

There's enough headphones and shower chairs and weighted stuffed animals for the rest of us to enjoy. You're not wasting anything that you find useful. And also, sometimes your friends are just slightly deaf and used to feeling the bass shake their entire car. It's okay to tell them that you're not.

It's okay to ask for some help bringing your groceries out to the car.

It's okay to ask someone to repeat what they said a third time.

It's okay to ask if you can see something again to make sure that you understand.

It's okay to tell people you'd rather not be touched right now.

It's okay to tell people that you want to be touched after telling them previously not to!

It's okay! And this even goes for nondisabled people too! Please reblog this post, even if you have nothing to say or add. Because maybe then, it might find it's way to somebody else who needs it. Whether that be a friend or loved one, a beloved moot, a follower, or just some random homie who comes across it by chance.

Even if you just like the way things are said, or think that the words are nice, that's more than enough reason to throw this post on your blog.

So go for it.

Press the nice shiny button.

Be an ally.

I dare you.

Local PSA: invisible disability does NOT mean you can live your life like a "normal person" invisible disability meant that if a stranger looks at you in public they wouldn't know what's going on.

Like if a wheelchair user were to decide to run into a corner store to grab a candy bar because they know that their legs can last that long without, the cashier wouldn't know.

Or someone with "mild" scoliosis walking upright through their shoulder leans slightly to the left. Maybe they just have bad posture. The lady in the next isle thinks to herself.

The person with EDS or POTS or whatever sort of condition wearing compression gloves out and about. Perhaps it's a fashion statement?

Or what about the people with intestinal issues? They can look like "normal people" too.

You never know what someone is going through.

You never know what they might need to survive or if they're on the edge of a flare up or even if they are currently going through one just by one look.

I think both disabled and non disabled need to realize this. You're not "no longer disabled" because you can "live without" disability aids. They're there to help you. To make your life easier. If living without a cane is going to make it more likely you'll fall over and hurt yourself, use the cane.

If you need to sit down to do dishes or cut vegetables because you need to save your legs for taking out the trash, sit down.

If you need a shower chair because you don't know if you'll pass out, use the shower chair.

People are going to judge you regardless for multiple reasons out of your control.

I'd rather they judge you while you're being safe.

You don't need to struggle to be "normal."

You can just be you.

However that looks for you.

Use your disability aids.

[clockwork-carstairs]

“You made yourself a different person than the one I loved” – on Kit’s letter, his projections & idea of Ty

aka where i try to make sense of kit’s letter in the context of who ty was to him. basically i think that understanding that kit may not have had an accurate image of ty in his head helps to contextualise why kit believes the things he does, regardless of whether they’re fair to ty or not. it makes more sense reading lines like:

“in all the world, kit had never met anyone he believed to be so incapable of evil”

“all his energy had gone into ty, all his devotion and hopes for the future”

because you can see so clearly how much kit was projecting onto ty. ty, more than a friend—or whatever you might call it—was also the personification of this new world and all it meant for kit. kit saw him as this overwhelming force of good, beautiful as an angel, someone who not only wouldn’t do evil but was “incapable” of it.

so you can kind of see why everything was lost for kit once ty went through with the necromancy: because by doing so he was breaking the image kit had of him. of ty as a saviour of sorts from kit’s previous life, the person who convinced him to stay, who made kit feel like he was really a part of something, something magical and exclusive that not everyone got to be.

further evidenced by other lines:

“he had been too fixated on losing ty to tell him what he needed to hear” -> kit knows he should have told ty much sooner how he really felt about the situation. kit knows he deflected and in various ways lied to ty about trying to bring livvy back. but kit had wanted to stay by ty’s side, stay included in ty’s plans, more than his desire to tell ty the truth that he hated the idea.

“you made yourself a different person than the one i loved” -> ty as a person being shaped by kit’s projections of all his hopes and dreams, the face of this new world kit was drawn into, the first person he really got close to after he was pulled from one world to another, the person who convinced him to stay.

was the “person [kit] loved” an accurate reflection of who ty really was, flaws and all? unlikely. and the image of ty in kit’s head didn’t allow room for the real ty’s complicated, overwhelming grief, either, and the ways he would try to cope with it: and i believe this is part of why kit was so shocked by what happened and why he’s still so angry at ty. because ty proved to him that he wasn’t what kit believed him to be, and so all of kit’s hopes for his new life came crumbling down.

do i think it’s fair to ty? no, i don’t. but i think both can be true: that kit is upset and had gone through a traumatic situation, and has valid feelings about it while also understanding that he had a very skewed perception of ty that wasn’t fair to him.

mostly i think we need more room for understanding ty’s feelings*. how it must have felt to lose his twin sister in a horrifying way, devised a plan that (to him) seemed completely reasonable** only to have his best friend switch up on him last minute, tell ty he loved him mid-ritual, later say he wished he’d never met ty and basically tell ty that he was selfish and then on top of that leave without saying goodbye.

i also stand by my belief that “how long do you think it will take you to forgive me” is something both ty and kit could/should be asking each other, not just one way around. i honestly don’t understand why both kit and ty would think only kit needs to forgive ty and not both ways. mostly i just don’t think the narrative that ty’s the only one who needs forgiving is very fair, or makes much sense with their characterisation + the context + what actually happened.

in sum, when kit says “you made yourself a different person than the one i loved”, the person he’s referring to is an idealised version of ty whom he had projected all his hopes and dreams for the future onto, and by going through with the necromancy ty completely shattered kit’s understanding of him. this is consistent with other lines in his letter: “you wanted that more than you wanted me”, “when you brought livvy back, you changed yourself” (did ty really change? or did he just prove to be different from kit’s idea of him? genuine question), and perhaps most strongly evidenced by this line: “i don’t know the person you are now. you took yourself away from me. i can’t forgive that.” i don’t understand why he can’t forgive ty for not being the person kit thought he was, nor how on earth ty was supposed to know this, but i digress.

* i hope this is addressed in TWP because between TDA and now, we’ve had FAR more insight into kit’s thought processes than ty’s and as such we’re only really seeing one side of the situation.

** i also think part of the glaring misunderstanding between kit and ty can be understood from their respective backgrounds. obviously for kit, growing up away from the shadowhunter world, something like necromancy is completely out of the question. the way it would be for you or me. but ty grew up in a world where bringing people back to life was something that could and had actually happened. so it’s a far crazier, more impossible idea to kit than it would’ve been to ty.

[pastelpinkkadan]

This isn’t a safe space, but I’ll say it anyway.

I really hate that whenever Elriels talk about their (valid and canon) reasons for either not liking Gw*nriel or not believing that it’s endgame, it feels like we HAVE to say that it’s not because we hate Gw*n.

We always have to reassure antis that we still think Gw*n is great and wonderful and it has nothing to do with her character! That she’s super cool and we love her, she’s just not right for Azriel!

But Gw*nriels (and even some El*ciens…😒) have NO problem hating on Elain. In fact, half the time it seems like the main reason they ship Gw*nriel is BECAUSE they hate Elain. They’d rather see Azriel with anyone else, as long as it’s not Elain.

Yet Elriels have to go overboard on how much they still like Gw*n, otherwise we’ll get “you just hate women!” comments. Even though antis don’t have that same energy concerning Elain.

I’ve never seen an Elriel straight up HATE on Gw*n. Thinking she might be a lightsinger, isn’t hating her. Saying that she’s a side character whose main purpose was to be Nesta’s friend, isn’t hating her. Not thinking Gw*n is going to be the next FMC and be super important/badass to the main ACOTAR plot, isn’t hating her.

So, I’ll say my peace about Gw*n.

I truly don’t care about this character. In fact, I forgot she existed until I came into the online fandom. She has never been important to me, and I don’t find her that interesting/cool in general. I don’t think she’s that important to the story, either. She could never show up in ACOTAR again, and I would not care or miss her. And you know what? Neither would a majority of the characters in ACOTAR. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Antis have given her more importance and personality than the actual books do. So anytime I see “well Gw*n will be heartbroken if Az doesn’t choose her” I have to laugh. No she won’t. They’re not together. She has shown no signs of feelings for him. She was a side character for Nesta, can antis PLEASE stop self-inserting themselves onto her simply because she is the only other single female in the series that has talked to Azriel and has no flaws (because she’s isn’t important enough to have flaws)?

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[svcredveins]

Found someone post this so thought I’d do it too lol

The reason why ear stething is crossed out is because I find it personal and more of a couple thing. Like I love it, I think it’s a wonderful and intimate thing, but ear stething ain’t for me if it’s with a friend. Like in a way to me it just feels wrong and weird to me. That’s why something like that is reserved for my future husband haha. But I do love ear stething though! It’s just, if it’s about me, then I’ll pass if I ever met another cardiophile in person. I’ll just gladly use a steth because I feel like it would be just…yeah, wrong in a way but that’s me! I’m a very, very loyal person and would even just be gutted to be disloyal to myself so yeah lol

Also for the life of me I cannot help but try to find someone’s neck pulse in a show or in a movie lmao. It’s just so interesting seeing them on screen and then poof! Their pulse is visible haha. It’s hard to actually search for a neck pulse on a race car driver because well, they’re all helmeted and suited up. I mean, there’s interviews but then again, when they’re talking there’s not much you can spot haha. The only thing that’s noticeable on onboards is their breathing which is also just poetic after a hardcore stint 🫀🫁

Also the fact that I couldn’t keep a straight face when one of my sim racing league mates mentioned his heart rate after the multiclass race we had a couple of weeks ago. Then a couple of others joined in talking about their heart rates and one said he never kept track up until the last race where his heart was pounding lmao. Just those things make me feel more confident in a way to actually have a valid excuse to track my own little heart haha

[what-have-i-unleashed]

somewhat in the same 'verse as this

killer lingers around at the busy station as he waits for his partners to come back with a valid token so they can continue their trip. he's bored out of his mind, since dust has grilled incessantly into him about not terrorizing anyone in the waiting area and causing a ruckus. there's a reason horror is killer's favorite right now.

seeing there's an empty seat, killer moves to sit on it. but then he bumps into someone, the liquid in their cup spilling over killer's shoes.

"oh stars, i'm so sorry!" that person exclaims. "do you need something to clean it with? i have a cloth somewhere-"

"no, it's fine," killer smiles, trying to keep a friendly face. "accidents happen."

"if you're sure about that..." the stranger says, quieter. "you can take the seat actually. again, i'm sorry."

killer takes a look at the stranger. they're sure a colorful skeleton, with swirls of rainbow-colored flames coming out of a should-be-fatal hole in their cracked skull. the clothes they wear look heavy, as if they just came out of a winter resort or something. they're carrying multiple bags too, none of which seems to carry anything dangerous in its outer pockets.

smile twitching at the corner, killer says, "nah, take the seat. you look exhausted."

"oh," the stranger mumbles, "thank you."

as they move to take the seat, killer leans against the wall next to them. like this, he's less vulnerable. if he wants, he can just stab them in the back when they're sitting like a rock.

but he's promised dust he would behave, as much as his promise is worth anyway.

"that's a lot of baggage for one person," killer comments, and his attempts at small talk make the stranger perk up.

"i'm traveling with friends. just a little road trip around the this section."

"road trip, huh? must be nice."

"well, we all have demanding jobs. it's nice to take a vacation sometimes," they turn to him. "what about you?"

killer chuckles, "i'm with my partners. we're also on a little trip for pleasure. honeymoon and shit."

"oh!" the stranger's eye sparkles happily. "you're married?"

"ehh maybe," killer shrugs. "i hate all that ceremonies and status. we're... something. trip for me is more for soul-searching." he grins. yeah, more like soul-hunting.

"must be nice," the stranger smiles at him, "to have someone with you on your journey, that is."

"... yeah, it is."

the two of them lapse into a comfortable silence for a short moment before the colorful skeleton speaks again.

"i don't think i've asked, but what's yo-"

"hey bruh!" someone shouts from the crowd near the doorway to the travel tunnels, making the stranger jump. "we got the tokens! let's go!"

"oh i have to go now!" they exclaim, hurriedly picking up their bags. with one last look at killer, they beam. "it's nice to meet you by the way. safe travels!"

with that, they disappear into the crowd. killer has a feeling he'll never see them again. what a shame. they were quite a nice person to talk to, and he's dying to see if they would be an equally nice target to kill too.

"who was that?" horror appears next to him, in his hands a new token, a bit dusty no doubt from the poor creature he's stolen from. killer chuckles.

"i'd say... no one important."

{ @toffeebrews @qin-qin16 this is for you specifically >:3)

[not-poignant]

This is the anon the said 'safe'. Your tags hit me hard, since I'm actually starting a transition but am avoiding hrt. I've been getting pushback on it, and been told I'm not really trans without it. I know what I want to change to feel like myself. Also what I don't want to change. That's probably why 'safe' was my choice. It sucks when you think you should belong, but still feel like you aren't good enough. It helped to hear you have felt the same. I just want to give you a big virtual hug.

Ahhh I have a similar story, anon <333 I'm so sorry you went through it too.

Under a read more because it contains transphobia towards a nonbinary person from a binary trans person. My experiences are from a nonbinary lens, anon, so take the bits that are useful to you and ignore the rest, depending on where you sit on the trans spectrum <333

When I started realising I was transmasc (I'd known I was non-binary for a while) I remember that I talked to a trans man about it, he'd been going through the process for a couple of years at that point and we'd talked about that too at different points.

And I remember mentioning that I'd thought about hormones, but I was still on the fence because I'm nonbinary, not like 'binary trans' (i.e. I'm not going from point A to point B, where you move from AFAB to man or AMAB to woman), and I was talking about wanting they/them pronouns and maybe he/him pronouns at that point.

And he said: 'Oh cool, yeah, hopefully that helps until you decide for sure with testosterone and surgery.' I had this moment of like ??? and he was like 'when you realise and can be brave enough to commit to being a guy, I hope that goes really well for you.'

It was one of the most transphobic things I'd ever heard, not because it was said from a hateful place (it really wasn't, I'm still friends with this guy), but because it came from a friend, I was being very vulnerable during the conversation and it left me feeling like I didn't have a right to consider myself trans at all for about two years after that. It pushed me into this space where I'd been defined by a fellow trans person as a 'coward until I decided to be officially a man.' And then for two years I kept looking for that inside of myself, denying my non-binary-ness in favour of looking for a very clear and decisive 'I'm a man!' moment. It was a horrible period of time, gender-wise. Because being identified exclusively only as a man or a woman is dysphoric to me, so trying to do it to myself was like cutting at myself with an axe.

It's also very much like when gay and lesbian folk would say to me - back when I identified as bisexual - 'get back to me when you pick a side / become a real queer.' There's a real phobic bent among folks who are 'one or the other' (sighs) towards people who are in the liminal with this stuff and that's where they belong. And it hadn't occurred to me that I'd hear a version of that from a fellow trans person. You'd think I'd have learned, right?

He and I are still friends, but I stopped talking to him about all of my experiences as a trans and nonbinary person. It was clear to me, in that moment, he saw me as a much lesser version of an identity he'd embraced and was living. You know, how so many people think of nonbinary transmascs. (It's also frustrating, because trans men also don't need to have hormones or surgery to be trans men, and it makes me furious when people take this attitude with binary trans folk too, but I'm mostly focusing on my own experience here, of the myriad ways we encounter transphobia in the trans community).

I never heard anything quite like that again, but I've had one other trans guy be like 'when you're ready for testosterone, I'll support you' like he was waiting in the wings for me to 'fully make a decision to be 100% a man' which isn't a decision I can make, because I'm not 100% a man, lmao, I'm like 80% of one, and 20% something else, and 0% woman, lmao, which is why I call myself nonbinary transmasc.

I was lucky that through research and listening to voices in nonbinary transmasc spaces and more open-minded trans spaces that I realised that I'd encountered transphobia, and that this specific kind of transphobia is particularly common in the trans community, especially in cases where a trans man or woman has a period of being nonbinary as an experiment to see what transitioning feels like before they fully commit to the surgery and/or hormones and name etc. that they often wanted all along. So they often project this onto other people, because for them being nonbinary was a midway point, or the middle of an evolution. But being nonbinary isn't an experiment for most nonbinary people, it's literally our identity and it always will be. (And any binary trans person reading this, don't ever use this rhetoric with your nonbinary friends, or your fellow binary trans friends who have elected not to use hormones or surgery - it's transphobic.)

These days, I'm proudly trans and proudly part of the trans community, but I'm also aware that there are a lot of binary trans people who will treat me and other trans folk as 'other' because I haven't suffered through the same surgeries or adjustments that they have. That's...their transphobia, and it's not me expressing my identity wrongly, or being 'lesser', it's just straight up transphobia. It belongs to them, not to me. I don't believe we have a unique word for nonbinary transphobia, it all comes under the same umbrella, but that's definitely what it is.

When you start to feel like you don't belong, anon, remind yourself that this is internalised transphobia, not to punish yourself, but to remind yourself that it's not true. Those feelings belong to the people who gave them to you, but they're not innately or inherently true, they actually have nothing to do with how valid you are at every stage of your transition.

You're fully a trans man if you don't take hormones, and you're fully nonbinary if you do. Whatever you need (or don't need) to affirm or express your gender for you, is what you need, and that deserves to be respected and fully validated no matter what, at any time. Whether it's binding or not binding, hormones or not hormones, hormones and then 'not for the next few years' and then hormones again, surgery or not surgery, etc. Whether you're a trans man, woman, nonbinary, agender etc.

People have this idea of what it is to be a 'proper' trans, bi, gay, lesbian person (like the 'gold star lesbian' which is horrendously disgusting as a term and concept), but all you need - literally all you need - re: these things, is to just... know you're these things. That's it. That's how a gay person can know they're gay without having sex. That's how a bi person can know they're bi without sleeping with someone of the same sex. And it's how a trans person knows they're trans without looking perfectly androgynous or perfectly binary trans (depending on what they desire) on the outside. (Don't get me started on fatphobia in androgynous and nonbinary spaces, and the equation of true 'nonbinary androgyny' with thinness, because that's a whole other rant for another day, lol).

I'm sorry you've experienced that pressure to be 'more' of something from society / particular people. I can specifically relate on the hormones front because I actually went quite far into looking into taking T, to the point where my doctor was ready to sign off with an endocrinologist, before I realised that it wasn't the right decision for me. It might be one day, but right now I know I'm transmasc without it, and I'm concerned about some of the side effects with my neuroendocrine tumours. There are other ways I affirm my gender that work great for me. But I did have a moment of knowing that would impact how other people see me, and it's one thing when it comes from all the cis people, but it's another thing when it comes from the trans community as well. :( Thankfully most people are really validating now, use the right pronouns, and I just don't confide nonbinary vulnerabilities with folks who saw being nonbinary as a midpoint of their own evolution/journey, just to be safe, lmao.

Wishing you fortune and strength and much validation, anon <3 You are amazing as you are, whatever you decide to do or not do in the future. :) *hugs*

[assmaster-8000]

why don't clothes fit me the way they do on a skinny cis guy (<- isn't a skinny cis guy)

[awek-s]

ohhhh desperately need to leave this house before i kill myself I fear it’s coming 🤣🤣

[elytrafemme]

on an entirely unrelated note it is occurring to me that i am splitting badly on a lot of people for a reason that is entirely nonsensical and that might be why i'm going insane on here. goodnight <3

[gaytobymeres]

it's actually so sweet that I told my friends (all at separate times) I'm one of the bridesmaids at my brother and his fiancee's wedding and they all asked 'oh so are you wearing a suit?' and then got really offended/defensive on my behalf when I said I was wearing a dress. 'if it was my wedding I'd want you to wear what made you comfortable' kind of thing 🥺 like I don't mind wearing a dress for it, I have accepted that I will probably be forced to get a spray tan and will have to shave, wear makeup etc, and I don't really mind; I'm of the opinion that it's the bride's day and so I should just acquiesce, and I am really touched that she wants me to be a part of the wedding party. But it is also nice to hear my friends being protective of me and my identity and who I am as a person :')

[cantofworms]

.

[britneyshakespeare]

i am like. unreasonably mad right now.

[enobariasdistrict2]

listen it's great that cory has such intense feelings for topanga and they are truly childhood friends to lovers excellence but it's like.... you're both a little young for "i love you" lmao. topanga had a point about the relationship going too fast

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity

Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all

And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me

It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been

But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel

...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this

One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help

Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out

I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all

...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut

Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?

I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already

...everyone means well, it's just tiring

[avaantares]

Fanfiction Authors: HEADS UP

(Non-authors, please RB to signal boost to your author friends!)

An astute reader informed me this morning that one of my fics (Children of the Future Age) had been pirated and was being sold as a novel on Amazon:

(And they weren't even creative with their cover design. If you're going to pirate something that I spent a full year of my life writing, at least give me a pretty screenshot to brag about later. Seriously.)

I promptly filed a DMCA complaint to have it removed, but I checked out the company that put it up -- Plush Books -- and it looks like A LOT of their books are pirated fic. They are by no means the only ones doing this, either -- the fact that """publishers""" can download stories from AO3 in ebook format and then reupload them to Amazon in just a few clicks makes fic piracy a common problem. There are a whole host of reasons why letting this continue is bad -- including actual legal risk to fanfiction archives -- but basically:

IF YOU ARE A FANFIC AUTHOR WITH LONG AND/OR POPULAR WORKS, PLEASE CHECK AMAZON TO SEE IF YOUR STORIES HAVE BEEN PIRATED.

You can search for your fics by title, or by text from the description (which is often just copied wholesale from AO3 as well). If you find that someone has stolen your work and is selling it as their own, you can lodge a DMCA complaint (Amazon.com/USA site; other countries have different systems). If you haven't done this before, it's easy! Here's a tutorial:

HOW TO FILE A COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT FOR STOLEN WORK ON AMAZON.COM:

First, go to this form. You'll need to be signed into your Amazon account.

Select the radio buttons/dropdown options (shown below) to indicate that you are the legal Rights Owner, you have a copyright concern, and it is about a pirated product.

Enter the name of your story in the Name of Brand field.

In the Link to the Copyrighted Work box, enter a link to the story on AO3 or whatever site your work is posted on.

In the Additional Information box, explain that you are the author of the work and it is being sold without your permission. That's all you really need. If you want, you can include additional information that might be helpful in establishing the validity of your claim, but you don't have to go into great detail. You can simply write something like this:

I am the author of this work, which is being sold by [publisher] without my permission. I originally published this story in [date/year] on [name of site], and have provided a link to the original above. On request, I can provide documentation proving that I am the owner of the account that originally posted this story.

In the ASIN/ISBN-10 field, copy and paste the ID number from the pirated copy's URL. You'll find this ten-digit number in the Amazon URL after the word "product," as in the screenshot below. (If the URL extends beyond this number, you can ignore everything from the question mark on.) Once this number has been added, Amazon will pull the product information automatically and add it to the complaint form, so you can check the listing title and make sure it's correct.

Finally, add your contact information to the relevant fields, check the "I have read and accept the statements" box, and then click Submit. You should receive an email confirmation that Amazon has received the form.

Please share this information with your writer friends, keep an eye out for/report pirated works, and help us keep fanfiction free and legally protected!

NOTE: All of the above also applies to Amazon products featuring stolen artwork, etc., so fan artists should check too!

[trash-goddess]

Coming from the other side of it, rejecting a proposal for plans with no reason or alternative suggestion reads as a subtle rejection to hang out.

“I’m sorry, I’m feeling under the weather and I need that day for resting. Could we do a phone call instead or go out next week?” ==> “I want to see you but this won’t work for me”

“Im not available.” ==> “I don’t want to see you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings, so I’m rejecting your suggestions.”

Also, giving an alternative option will make the person who suggested the plans feel like they don’t have to do all the work.

I don’t know who cares to hear this but if someone asks you to hang out and you can’t but you genuinely want to hang out with them, let them know that the time(s) they suggested don’t work for you and offer new times that do.

If you just say you “can’t/that time doesn’t work” with no follow up, it communicates a disinterest (to a lot of people) just a little tip on maintaining relationships