#actually this still counts as a halloween post because it's always halloween in my heart

[archduchessofnowhere]

Book review: The Empress and the Cake by Linda Stift

And this thought led me on to the next hideous thought: just one more time. Like a poisonous vine, a complicated network of lies wound its way around this one phrase, the only purpose of which was to conceal the truth that of course it could never just be one more time.

TW: mentions of an eating disorder

I know, I know. I promised this for Halloween. I actually did finish it before the 31st, but then stuff happened and I just couldn’t get around making this review. But I wanted to have it done before December so I’m using the serotonin boost that Argentina’s win gave me to finally finish it, so here it is!

First of all, before properly starting the review, I feel the need to state something: this book should come with a gigantic trigger warning, in bright red, on the first page. The entire book is full of very explicit descriptions of bulimia. You can’t skip it: it’s the backbone of the story. There is also a lot of fatphobia (to be clear: the book doesn't condone it, it's just the characters, who struggle with eating disorders, make and think fatphobic remarks). So if this is something that upsets you or you can’t handle it, ignore this book altogether. Please take care of your mental health!

Now onto the review: The Empress and the Cake, originally titled Stierhunger, is a short novel written by Linda Stift, and translated to english by Jamie Bulloch. In this novel we follow a young woman, who remains unnamed throughout the entire story, after a mysterious woman that resembles Empress Elisabeth called Frau Hohenembs invites her to drink tea and eat cake. Our protagonist doesn’t know this woman, but she still feels drawn to her and follows her to her home, where they (accompanied by Ida, Frau Hohenembs’ companion) share the meal. After this, she reluctantly becomes acquainted with the pair, and before she realizes, she becomes part of their plot to steal objects that once belonged to Empress Elisabeth and the more they continue, the more she loses control, not only of the situation, but of herself.

Strange: that would be the best word to describe this novel. It’s a strange tale, deeply unsettling, and at times, even unpleasant to read. While it isn’t a horror story, it was a good choice for a Halloween read, because there is an uncanny feeling during the novel that becomes more and more disturbing as it goes on. What starts with our protagonist being annoyed for letting herself get dragged to a tea party with two women she has never met before ends up in a desperate attempt against all odds to retake control of her life and herself.

For us Sisi enthusiasts the book is full of references to the empress, who in a way haunts the story. Frau Hohenembs (which was a pseudonym that the real empress used when she wanted to travel incognita) talks and acts as if she was Elisabeth, somehow plumbed from the 19th century to 2007, she recalls events of the empress’ life as if they were her own and possesses things that could only have belonged to her. This uncanny resemblance is never explained, but it isn’t necessary either: it doesn’t matter if Frau Hohenembs is just a Sisi fanatic obsessed with her or if she actually, somehow, is Elisabeth brought back to life: she IS the Empress Elisabeth, or at least a version of her, the older Elisabeth, obsessed with her image, obsessed with controlling her image. Because that’s what she represents in the story: the toxic, destructive need to control how you look, and how other people look at you. Frau Hohenembs wants to steal Elisabeth’s belongings from museums, she wants to get rid of a statue of her, she wants our protagonist to win a Sisi-lookalike contest, because she wants to control how people look at the empress. And for our protagonist, helping Frau Hohenembs to control Sisi’s image, and even becoming her at one point, makes her lose herself, and fall back into the destructive eating disorders she had when she was younger.

In other words, the whole book is just a metaphor for the way an eating disorder can become an obsession and make you destroy yourself. But don’t let the word metaphor fool you, as I said, this book has very graphic descriptions of bulimia. It’s a metaphor, but everything that happens is also very real for our protagonist, which creates this uncanny feeling that I already mentioned.

The book inserts fragments of information about the real Elisabeth, narrated by someone whose identity is never clear (a lady-in-waiting?), in the middle of the story, as sorts of “chapter intermissions” (there aren’t proper chapters in the novel). I found these parts of the book a bit redundant, to be honest: a lot of the creepiness comes from the way things from Elisabeth’s life are present in Frau Hohenembs, on how 19th century facts somehow creep into our current days. So these parts just felt like the author was explaining the references to the people that know little to nothing about Elisabeth. Which isn’t my case. Also, as a lesser complaint, it lowkey annoyed me that the character Ida, who’s named after Ida Ferenczy, Elisabeth’s lady-in-waiting and also close friend, is clearly based on Maria Festetics, an entirely different lady-in-waiting.

By the end of the book I wasn’t entirely sure if I had liked the story. I thought it was original, interesting and grasping, but also just too creepy and outright weird to properly enjoy it. A month later, I remain indecisive. I wouldn’t read it again, but I don’t regret reading it in the first place. A very memorable novel, even if I wish there were parts that I couldn’t remember.

[yagirlwrites]

Angels & Demons | (Sub!Rafe)

Pairing: sub!Rafe Cameron x domme!Reader

Synopsis: Rafe asks reader to a Halloween bash, proposing they wear matching costumes. They have a conversation on where they stand. Lots of fun at the biggest party of the year.

Warnings: fluff, clingy!rafe, pouty!rafe, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 8.4k (I'm so so sorry I need psychiatric help)

A/N: Hi y'all! It's finally here, ignore the fact that its 10 days late - Happy Halloween🤣 This is really long and fluffy, some steamy scenes as well because it wouldn't be me without them 😘 The smut for the day after the party will be posted soon! Had to separate it because it would have been too damn long to read and y'all deserved to have this as soon as possible. Hope it's not too long anyway 😭 I am sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy it! As always lmk what you think!

Series Masterlist

My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated. Reblogs, comments, feedback are always welcome and appreciated❤️

Happy reading 🥰

Angels & Demons

"I need you to sit still, baby." His heart soared, as it always did, when she called him that. He was currently sitting at her vanity while she patiently applied glitter to his face.

He felt restless, she was so close and she smelled so nice and she was touching him so gently. Looking at her, so beautiful, right in front of him was driving him insane. It was his own fault for being in this situation, getting ready for a party he suggested they attend. So he really had no right to be acting bratty. He just really wanted to kiss her and she was keeping him hostage in the small chair. The generous view of her cleavage bent over like this, courtesy of her costume, might also have something to do with his fading sanity.

It was a week ago when he suggested they go to the Halloween bash together. It was the biggest party of the year so far, spanning the entire greek street. It was always wild and intense, but he wasn't interested in that this year. He just wanted to spend time with her and his friends, and have a good time. This would technically be their coming out party and he was ecstatic when she said yes to coming. Even more so when he suggested they match their costumes, trying to play it off as no big deal, but in actuality extremely aware of the implications.

"Like, a couple's costume?" It came out of the blue. They had been cuddled up on her couch when he brought up the topic the party and asked if she wanted to come with him. Then he started acting all shy and flustered broaching the topic of outfits.

"Yeah. I don't know if you maybe wanted to match. Might be cool, I don't know." He was blushing in that way that made her heart melt like a popsicle on a hot summer day. He didn't even give her a chance to respond as he continued.

"Unless you don't want to or think it would be weird, it's totally fine we don't have to. It was just a thought..." he trailed off, not meeting her eyes, flustered and insecure. Her heart ached.

"Hey..." her soft palm met his cheek and forced him to look back at her.

"Why would it be weird?" Her gaze was warm and he was blushing even harder now. His thoughts felt scrambled, all the practicing he had done in his head vanishing into thin air when he was so close to her.

"I don't know. Maybe you don't see us..." he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, not able to finish his thought.

"As a couple?" She offered, trying to help but driving him further up the wall instead. He just shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the coffee table, feeling weak. She pushed him further onto the couch, straddling his lap in order to force him to look at her. His heart felt like it might burst out of his chest.

She said nothing, simply waited for him to speak up. Needing him to talk to her, instead of shutting down. They'd talked about this habit of his, she promised she'd never judge him and he promised he'd try his best to be as open with her as he could. So he had no choice then, not when she was looking at him like that. Not after he made her a promise.

"We never talked about it. So you might not." His eyes were running wildly all over her face, trying to be respectful and not look away but not brave enough to see the possible rejection in her gaze.

"Do you want us to?" He sighed, the feeling of her playing with his hair making him lose the last bit of dignity he had. He was so desperate for her he couldn't cope.

"Maybe..." she shook her head then. She hated that word, wished he would stop using it and just say what he really wants. But she knew it was hard for him so she didn't push it.

"Do you want us to be a couple, Rafe?" His eyes finally met hers, hearing the vulnerability in her voice. When they did, he saw no judgement, no rejection, just kindness. And he didn't have it in him to pretend anymore.

"I do." The beat it took for her to react felt like an eternity, his breath stuck in his throat.

"Good." She smiled, caressing his face so gently he thought he'd cry. She kissed his red cheek and whispered a soft "me too."

His heart skipped at her words, a bright smile finally making it's way onto his face as he hugged her so close, leading them both to almost fall off the couch. The only thing that could be heard in her small appartment was the sound of their giggles as they processed their emotional conversation.

"Fuck, I'm so relieved." He kissed her neck where his head was burried while he held her as close as possible. Her hands running though his hair in that soothing manner she knew he loved. She laughed as he peppered kisses on her skin.

"What? Did you really think I'd say no?" She pulled him back enough to look at his beautiful face. He had a sheepish smile on and his eyes sparkled with joy.

"I don't know." He shrugged in a careless manner, even though they both knew it was a front.

"Oh so you think I just let any guy sleep over and cuddle with me on the couch?" She was giving him a faux offended look and he couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't know, you might..." he grinned and she rolled her eyes.

"Bro, be serious." She pushed off of him to pick up the blanket that had fallen to the floor during their tumble.

"Bro? You can't friendzone me now!" He whined as she stood up, folding the blanket and then throwing it right in his cheeky little face. He let out a surprised yelp and she giggled as he rushed after her on her way to the kitchen. He looked like a lost puppy, incapable of not being near her, it seemed.

"So what's this costume?" He was looking at her throat as she gulped down a glass of water, completely zoned out when she asked the question.

"Huh?" He snapped his eyes back to her face but it was too late, she'd already noticed him ogling her. His ears turned a shade pinker as he tried to play it off.

"The costume you want to wear, what is it?" He looked confused.

"I don't know." He shrugged causing her to raise her eyebrow.

"You don't have a costume in mind?" He shook his head, grinning as he stepped closer to her.

"Whatever you want." She had to refrain from laughing at how cute he was, with his floppy hair and his rumpled clothes and his childlike grin.

"So now I have to come up with a couple's costume even thought it was your idea?" She played annoyed but he could see the smirk twitching at the corner of her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her and connected their foreheads, the intimate banter reducing them both to mush on the inside.

"Yep. Just want everyone to know." He nuzzled his nose into her hair as her fingers ran gently over his back.

"Know what?" He pulled back to look at her then. A rare moment of bravery.

"That I'm yours." Her breath caught in her throat at the way he said it. So sure, so honest, so utterly unashamed. It made butterflies appear in her stomach and she wanted to curse at how much she loved hearing those words come out of his mouth.

"That you're mine?" She kissed his face gently and his smile could not be bigger.

"Mhm. All yours." she blushed from the raw honesty in his words and he noticed. But before he could call her out on it she kissed him, making him forget whatever thought he might have had of teasing her.

It was heaven, whenever their lips met. They felt like they became one and it was so insane to think about that they refused to, simply letting themselves get lost in the pleasure of being with each other.

And now here they were, in her bedroom, putting the finishing touches on the costumes. He admired how stunning she looked, so focused and unguarded. He swore he had never seen a person more beautiful in his life. He couldn't stop a smirk from making its way onto his face as he took in her outfit. The tight leather bustier made her boobs look insane, the short black skirt leaving just enough to the imagination, and the skull shaped lace of her thights hugged her thighs so well he wanted to bite into them.

"One last thing" she positioned the accessory on his head and smiled at the result.

"Perfect." He blushed at the compliment, turning around to face the mirror and finally see her hadiwork.

He looked flushed and soft, the sparkles on his face matching the ones on the halo atop of his head. He was dressed in all white, a button down over a white t-shirt, white pants she made him buy the other day, and white converse on his feet. The silver against the white made him look almost ethereal. He was a literal angel before her eyes and she could not be happier with how it all turned out.

She grabbed her own headpiece, a pair of black horns and completed their couples costume. An angel and a demon. Not the most unique of ideas, however the roles were usually reversed. He told her that when she came up with the concept and all she said was "You're my good boy now, right? You're gonna be my angel." After that he shut up and the flush didn't leave his cheeks for a long time.

He didn't know if she fully understood just how much she affected him when she said stuff like that. Messed with his mind, his heart, twisting him up inside until he feels like falling at her feet. Or maybe she knew exactly how bad he had it for her, and she enjoyed it.

She was taking her sweet time taking him in, critical eye paying attention to every detail waiting to find something she might have missed. Even though it wasn't her idea and she'd never done matching costumes with anyone before, she was feeling super excited at the prospect of the entire campus knowing he was hers. She wasn't a jealous person, but she knew there were girls vying for his attention and now he was making it clear he had no interest in anyone but her. It made her heart feel so full that she had to force herself to stay cool. He did that. He'd come and sweep the rug out from under her in the best ways. One minute she's chill and the next he hits her with this genuine unabashed affection and she's left confused as to how to cope. She wouldn't complain though, it was the best kind of surprise every time it happened.

To think not long ago she had thought he could never be with someone like her, that they weren't compatible. It was laughable now. Every move they made felt perfectly synced, like it was always meant to be the two of them together. And whenever her insecurities would try and weasel into her mind he'd smile at her in that way he did and she'd feel peace again. She knew he still had his demons but since they agreed to be open with each other he seemed more calm, less on edge, like that peace she felt was mirrored in him too. She couldn't quite believe how happy she was.

He was looking at her with those bedroom eyes again and she had to refrain from letting her mind run wild, as his no doubt was. They spent hours getting ready and they had a party to go to.

This would be the first time they arrived together at a party, and while she wasn't particularly bothered about what other people thought, she knew he cared and wanted to show the world they were together now. For real. She understood, they had spent so much time making up for all the months wasted, in their little bubble and while it was amazing and they wouldn't trade it for anything - they did need to step back into the real world. Meet each other's people, be part of each others lives in public too.

He was really excited at the prospect and it warmed her heart to see him so positively nervous about something. Something other than sex, that is. She needed to stop thinking about sex and focus. Party. They're going to a party. She grabbed her purse and took his hand leading them out the door and into the night.

................

Walking into his frat, hand in hand, it felt like the entire house was staring at them. In reality most people didn't pay them a second glance, but it felt like a momentous occasion to him. He had a big, proud smile on his face as he led her through the massive crowd to the kitchen where he knew his friends would most likely be congregated. As they walked in they were met with loud whoops sounding over the music.

"Mistery Girl! You made it!" It was Mac, Rafe's best friend. They'd met several times, and even though he now knew her name, he still clung to the nickname - to Rafe's great annoyance. As expected, Rafe rolled his eyes at his friend. She smiled and greeted his group, some of whom she'd briefly met before, some faces definitely unfamiliar leading Rafe to introduce her.

Rafe went to make her a drink, knowing she prefers a cocktail to a beer. He managed to locate some fruity syrup and decided to mix her a drink himself. He didn't trust any of the already made punches floating around. She deserved the best. Since best wasn't an option, at least better than the terribly tasting jungle juice Mac always made.

Aaron, one of his frat brothers, whom he didn't really care for, decided to stand too close to her for his liking. Rafe was looking at him while making sure not to spill any of the alcohol he was pouring. He didn't like him crowding her and he wanted to get back there to prevent any unfortunate scene that might unfold.

"So you're the devil, huh?" She gave the random man next to her an unimpressed look, taking a step to the side to create space between them. She didn't want to deal with annoying creeps, but she needed to keep her promise and not do anything to offend his friends.

"Just a lowly demon, I'm afraid." She replied to his question, trying to stay polite.

"Ah, I don't see nothing lowly about you, sweetheart." His gaze flashed to her cleavage and her blood started boiling when he leaned into her space again. He was clearly already drunk but her patience was wearing thin.

"Here you go, babe." His voice snapped her out of her reverie, bringing with him a calm she had missed in the past few minutes they were apart. She took the cup from him, relaxing into his chest as he made himself at home at her back, wrapping one arm around her. His eyes were shooting daggers at Aaron, and she had to refrain from smirking, finding his protectiveness endearing.

"This is pretty good, sweet boy." She looked up at him after tasting his conconction and he broke eye contact with Aaron to look back at her, a smile shining on his face at the compliment. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks at the pet name. He had yet to get used to how he felt every time she called him something so sweet and loving. This was the first time she had called him a nickname in public, not thinking anything of it until the pest next to them decided to speak up.

"N'aww ain't that just adorable?" The smile wiped off Rafe's face in record time as he shot daggers at Aaron for the interruption. Jade was getting more and more annoyed by this random guy and she knew Rafe was as well, so she wished to remove them both from his presence. Before she could though, he had to speak again.

"When did you become such a pussy, Cameron?" Rafe rolled his eyes, tired of his bullshit and ready to leave the kitchen but he felt her stiffen in his arms.

"You watch your mouth." Her voice was low and cold, but everyone in the kitchen could hear it nontheless.

"It's okay-" before he got a chance to reassure her that this dickhead's words meant nothing to him, he was interrupted.

"Woah there little lady. You're feisty. She speaks for you now, too? What happened to you, bro?" He was giggling to himself, but none of his other friends seemed amused. She was starting to realize no one liked him, but for the life of her couldn't understand why they tolerated such a piece of shit.

"Listen here, you little cockroach-" she took a step towards him but Rafe snapped into action, wrapping his arm tighter against her and pulling her backwards.

"Rafe..." her tone held a warning, but he didn't care. He wasn't about to let Aaron of all people, ruin their night before it even started.

"Baby, he's not worth it. Everyone knows he's just desperate for attention, since no one's giving him any." His first words whispered to her, but the latter said loud enough for everyone to hear. Aaron flushed red in anger and Mac saw it as his queue to jump in.

"Alright, we get it. You're jealous Rafe has a girl now. My condolences man but we gotta move on, yeah?" The crowd laughed at Mac's jokes making Aaron even more furious, but the friendly arm Mac slung around his shoulder and the beer he handed him managed to distract the drunken douche enough for Rafe to drag her out of the kitchen.

"You should've let me knock him out." Her teeth were clenched and he tried to prevent a smile from breaking out but she looked so adorable, all mad and protective, ready to fight for his honor. He chuckled at the thought and her eyes snapped to him, taking in his face, thinking he's laughing at her.

"Hey. I could take him!" She was offended.

"Oh trust me, I know. I remember just how lethal that right hook can be." His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and she realized he was only teasing her.

"He deserved it." She spoke, no longer upset, feeling her anger leave her body as he swayed them both on the dance floor.

"I know." He was smirking, giving her that annoying yet adorable look, driving her crazy.

"Why do you let him talk to you like that?" He sighed, pulling her into his chest, laying his head on top of hers as they danced.

"I don't care enough about his opinion to let him ruin my night." She looked up at him then, realizing he wasn't being a pushover because of his friends, which she worried might have been the reason why he didn't fight back. He was just mature enough not to let some irrelevant twat get under his skin. She smiled at that, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

"That's very grown up of you." She teased and he laughed, glad she was back to normal.

"And you ready to fight him for a stupid comment, is definitely not." She rolled her eyes, a slight blush tinging her cheeks.

He was right, she had promised herself to stay cool but one mean comment aimed at him destroyed her composure. She felt such an intense need to protect him, it was quite confusing and scary. She would have laid that fucker out right there in the kitchen. How embarrassing.

"Hey, I'm not complaining. It was very hot, how protective you got." He was smirking again, the cocky little shit. She rolled her eyes again and pulled him into a kiss, just to shut him up and distract him from her somewhat childish behavior. He moaned into the kiss when her tongue entered his mouth and she smiled when she felt him shiver under her fingertips. He was so easy.

When she broke the kiss he was dazed, chasing her lips to prolong the moment but she simply gave him a sweet peck and pulled away. The pout on his face was adorable, resembling a little kid told he can't have his favorite candy for dinner. She admired the flush of redness on his skin from the brief shared moment and a longing stirred in her belly, resembling the one very clearly written on his face. They both wanted more but this was not the time or the place, so she went back to slowly swaying with him in a soft embrace. He melted into her, as he always did.

The kiss made him crave more but she was making it clear it wasn't going to happen. Not yet, at least. He enjoyed the way she held him though, so warm and soft and protected. It always messed with his emotions but he wasn't ashamed of how much he enjoyed it. Not even a little.

It wasn't long before their peaceful moment got interrupted. Mac nearly knocked them both down in excitement as he announced body shots taking place on the formerly used beer pong table. This was exactly the kind of chaos she'd come to expect from a frat party. Rafe's eyes glistened with mischief and she knew what he was going to say before he even spoke.

"What do you say? Wanna do body shots?" He had a playful smirk on his face, fully expecting her to roll her eyes and reject him.

"Sure." She nearly laughed at how quickly the smirk disappeared, replaced with a confusion which then gave way to cautious excitement. She smiled and took his hand, following where Mac had gone, presumably in the direction of the shots.

Rafe was buzzing with excitement as they made their way to the basement where the den was. That's where they usually used the old ping pong table for beer pong. A crowd was gathered around the table, whooping as a guy finished licking salt off a girl's neck. He couldn't believe she agreed to this. Holy shit.

They made their way to the table, waiting for another couple to finish, being next in line. Rafe could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body in anticipation. Then she turned to him and smirked and he thought he'd pass out right then and there. She was the sexiest woman alive, he'd swear it. He couldn't believe he got to call her his girlfriend.

"Shirt off." The command in her voice shook him to his core, too reminiscent of how she talked to him in the privacy of her bedroom. His pulse quickened in excitement. And then he processed her words and realized what she was saying.

"Lay down." Her eyes held a spark in them that always knocked his breath out of his lungs. Of course. Of course she would do this. He didn't know why he was expecting anything else. He followed her orders, like he always did. He had never been the one on the receiving end of body shots and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't turning him on.

The crowd went wild as he undressed and positioned himself on the table. She drank him in, all flushed, a sheen of sweat marking his body from the dancing. He looked delicious and she could feel arousal pool in her belly. It was messy, being like this in front of all these people. She knew, but in that moment she didn't have it in her to care. He was laying there, waiting for her and she wasn't going to deny either of them the high about to happen.

She moved into action, pouring salt on his collar bone and continuing a line down his chest, making Mac whoop out a "hell yeah!". She was solely focused on Rafe, though. He was getting more and more red as the seconds passed and he could feel the lust running through him. She was driving him insane. She put a lime wedge in his mouth and gave him a cheeky wink to which he silently groaned. A fucking tease.

With one last look into his wild eyes, she downed a shot of tequila and finally bent down to make contact with his skin. She licked a long strip from his belly button, over his chest, to his collar bones where she cleaned all the salt off his sticky skin. He shivered as her mouth moved to his neck, giving a cheeky bite to his sweet spot. His eyes rolled to the back of his head in response. She was evil for that.

Finally her eyes met his again as she leaned in to take the lime wedge from him, biting into it, letting the sour juice soak her tongue and complete her shot. The crowd cheered loudly and she quickly discarded the lime wedge to the side as she pulled him in and kissed him, deep and hot and messy.

Both of them were completely lost in the moment, the tension coming to a head as their tongues met and he tasted the liquior and lime on her. He moaned into the kiss, not caring about if anyone heard, solely focused on her. The kiss didn't last long but it awakened something in both of them. She managed to force herself back, to not give these strangers any more of a show than she already had, and pulled him up by his hand.

He struggled to find his feet, feeling completely fucking dazed from that kiss and that body shot and her touch and fuck she was ruining him.

As soon as they moved away from the table, the crowd's attention was taken by the next couple and they had a chance to take a breath. He was red all over, his shirt crumpled in his hand, his other hand in hers. She looked flushed as well, probably for the same reason he was. That was insane.

She kissed him again, finally out of the spotlight. This kiss was slower, but still as deep. He could feel his pants constricting him as he realized he was fully hard for her. She didn't miss it either, as she felt his length pressing against her abdomen. He groaned at the pressure and she pulled back to look at him.

He was embarassed so he lead her away from the basement, making sure to stay hidden behind her, not wanting anyone to witness his predicament. When they made it back to the ground floor he wasted no time in grabbing her hand and rushing up the stairs, her bemused laughter accompanying the movement.

"Where are you going?" She asked, trying to keep up with the speed at which he was practically running.

"My room." He spoke as if it was obvious as he pulled her in the direction of the room they'd both spent several nights tangled up together.

"Rafe, we're not having sex right now." She didn't want to be that couple, the one hooking up in the middle of a party after doing body shots. It felt like a cliche.

"No, I just need..." he trailed off as he unlocked his room, pulling her in as he turned the light on.

"Just need a moment." He looked down at his crotch with a blush and she smiled in understanding. He needs some privacy to calm down.

"Okay, baby." She kissed his cheek in reassurance and made her way to his desk chair, making herself comfortable.

He awkwardly stood there, not sure what to do now. Just having her in his room again was not helping with his problem. The thought of having to go take care of himself in the bathroom depressed him though. So he begrudgingly sat down on his bed and looked at her, confused.

She wanted to laugh at his expression, like he had no clue what to do with himself. His very obvious erection was not helping her calm down from what happened earlier. In fact, the fire in her was getting worse as she looked at him so vulnerable in front of her. Still shirtless, his chest moving with heavy breaths. It was driving her insane.

"Can I..." he didn't finish his thought, almost cursing at even saying anything. His voice had been so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"What?" She drew the chair closer, to hear him better, making him take in a deep breath to try and get a hold of himself.

"Nothing. Forget it." He shook his head and refused to meer her eyes. That was unacceptable.

"Rafe." Her voice left no room for argument, she wanted him to tell her the truth.

"I was just... I wanted to..." he trailed off again feeling agitated that he couldn't just be confident in expressing himself the way he wished he could. He knew it frustrated her too and it made him feel worse.

"Wanted what, baby?" She moved to sit down next to him, her proximity only causing more frustration to bubble inside him.

"I want to taste you." He finally managed to verbalize his thoughts, meeting her eyes with apprehension.

"Oh..." she wasn't expecting that.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head at his apology.

"No, don't be. It's okay." She held his face in her hands then, observing him.

"Why are you so afraid, hm?" He gulped at her question, uncomfortable at her ability to see right through him all the time.

"I don't know, I just.. I don't wanna dissappoint you." She sighed and pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He exhaled in relief, she wasn't judging him.

"You would never dissappoint me by telling me what you want or how you feel, Rafe. I told you this." Her eyes were so kind it threw him.

"I know, I know. I just... I don't wanna screw this up." He looked embarrassed again and she hated it.

"You could never screw anything up by being honest. The opposite, actually." He nodded, feeling calmer as her fingers played with his hair.

"I'm sorry I'm so messed up." He let out a slight chuckle and she responded with a kind smile.

"You don't ever have to apologize for being human. Not to me. Not to anyone." She was looking at him with such conviction he couldn't help but nod. He wanted to believe her so badly.

"Is this something you've been wanting for a while?" He flushed again, remembeing his words form earlier, shyly nodding.

"Why didn't you say anything? Hm?" She placed her forehead against his, offering comfort and a grounding touch which was exactly what he needed.

"Dunno. Didn't want to overstep." He was finally being honest with her.

"By expressing your desires? To your girlfriend?" She was looking at him with slight amusement, and he blushed even more. She was right, it was silly

"When you say it like that it sounds dumb." He chuckled and she smiled at the sound. She kissed him again, a sweet kiss that helped ease his embarassment.

"I know I'm supposed to talk to you. I just didn't know how to bring this up without... I don't know... offending you." She nearly laughed at that.

"Offending me?" He shrugged.

"I don't know if it's allowed to ask for that." He blushed again, the teasing note in his voice not missed by her.

"You can ask for whatever you want, baby. I might not agree with everything, but you can always ask." She was serious now, wanting him to understand she meant it.

"Alright... So can I? Taste you?" He was holding his breath now, anticipating her answer. Truth be told he had been craving it for months - to please her like that. He enjoyed giving head before but he felt like he would explode with need over doing it for her.

"Not right now." She smiled.

"But I can... some other time?" He was desperate for her to say yes, to know he has a chance to fulfill this need, to please her like she deserves.

"Maybe." She was driving him crazy now.

"Maybe?" His tone was exasperated causing her to smile.

"Yes. Maybe." She pulled back so she could maintain eye contact.

"Eating my pussy is a privilege to be earned, Rafe. Not just something you can expect." He gulped as she spoke, driving him more and more insane with each word passing her lips. He wanted to scream with how hot she was, how sexy he found her confidence and how much he hated and loved her dominant personality all at once. He felt ready to beg. It was pathetic, really.

"How do I earn it?" His question made her stifle a chuckle, the eagerness in his tone endearing.

"By being a really, really good boy." She whispered the last part, his eyes glazing over, caught in a trance. She was so evil for playing with him when he's so messed up over her already.

"I'll do anything. I'll be so good." He would have been embarassed at how pathetic he sounded but he didn't have it in him to care, his arousal overwhelming him.

"You will, huh?" He nodded so fast she had to hold back from laughing. She couldn't believe he was begging to eat her out right now. This was not what she expected out of tonight.

"Yes. I'll be soo good for you. Please..." He was so far gone now, the whine in his voice causing her panties to dampen. Damn him. Damn him for how hot he looked, begging for her.

"You're gonna be good for me?" He was nodding along, clearly too far gone at this point to form words.

"Okay. I need you to calm down so we can go back downstairs." His brows furrowed as her words registered.

"What?" He asked, trying to clear the lustful haze from his brain.

"We came to a party, remember?" He was nodding along.

"So we're going back downstairs and you're going to enjoy yourself at the party you wanted us to come to. Yeah?" He finally started realizing she wasn't going to give him what he so desperately wants. She was mean for teasing him like that. He pouted again, giving her that kicked puppy look, but she stood her ground. He sighed loudly, feeling grumpy now.

"You're cruel." He mumbled as he got up and made his way to the door.

"What was that?" She heard him the first time but wanted to see if he'd have the balls to repeat it.

"Nothing. I'm going to the bathroom." He shuffled out of the room with his head down.

She felt a little guilty for rejecting him like that but she meant what she said. She didn't get all dressed up and come to this party just to end their night so soon. She knew this had been important to him and she didn't want his lust to distract him from what he really wanted to do tonight. Which is spend time with his friends and her, not to go back to their bubble the second they got horny. No. Tonight was a test for both of them, to practice some freaking self control. She had to be the strong one, cause he clearly couldn't be. Not when it came to this. But he made it really, really difficult to keep her head straight. Trouble personified.

Once he returned from the bathroom he seemed more calm, more in control of himself. He had splashed his face with water and spent an annoying amount of time sitting on the closed toilet seat, forcing himself to stop thinking dirty things and relax. It wasn't easy, with everything that happened in the basement and then his room. The teasing, the tension, it was all too much. But he understood why she rejected his advances, no matter how embarrassed he might be about it. He was the one who dragged them out to this party, making a big deal out of the night - so he had no right to be mad at her for trying to do what he had asked - experience the party with him.

So he shook his naughty thoughts off and managed to calm himself down enough to where his arousal was no longer noticable. It was the best he could do without jerking off and he really didn't want to do that.

She got up as he enterd the room, approaching him and pulling him into a hug immediately. He realized she felt bad for what happened but he wasn't upset anymore.

"It's okay. You're right. We should go back downstairs." She pulled back to look at him, to see if he was being honest with her. He smiled at her worry.

"I promise." He gave her a cheeky smirk and she accepted his answer, pressing a quick peck to his cheek and pulling him out of the room, back to the party.

He felt so lucky, holding her hand, seeing her interact with his friends, the smile on her face encouraging him to snap out of his thoughts and back to reality. He decided downing a few more shots would help him relax further, making it easier to forget how worked up he had been not 10 minutes ago.

As the night went on they hung out with his friends, drank, laughed and danced together. It was perfect. Exactly what he wished it would be like. He wanted her to like his friends and be comfortable around them and she seemed to be doing great.

They were in the kitchen again, her sitting on one of the bar chairs, chatting with one of the girls in the group. Completely smitten and unable to tear his eyes away, he just looked at her, his girlfriend - the realization making his heart feel so damn full he couldn't believe it. She was his girlfriend. How on earth did he get so fucking lucky?

She could feel his eyes boring into her for a while now, so she looked back at him finding him with a lovesick smile on his face, drunk and adorable, unashamed in his staring.

She decided to keep her drinking to a minimum, being the responsible one as always. It was in her nature. He was clearly already quite drunk but she didn't mind. She hadn't seen him drink that much during the time they've been together so she didn't feel a need to worry about it being a regular occurence. He just seemed really happy tonight and she didn't mind taking care of him once the time came. Which is something she never expected from herself at all- wanting to take care of a guy, not in terms of aftercare post sex, but in general. It made her question her sanity.

Once he realized she was looking at him the smile on his face only got bigger and he felt the intense urge to go to her, so he did. She smiled as he slightly stumbled into her, wrapping her arms protectively around him to steady him.

"Having fun?" She cheekily asked and he gave her the biggest boyish smile in return.

"Mhm, so much fun." He cuddled into her, taking her slightly by surprise. He was acting like they were the only people in the room, even though the kitchen was full of his friends. She could feel eyes on them as she played with his hair, the touch grounding, coaxing him back into reality.

"You okay, baby?" He simply nodded and nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Just happy." Her heart skipped a beat. She felt such intense affection for him in that moment it was unreal.

He wrapped his arms around her, making himself at home in between her legs, cocooning himself in her embrace. He was behaving the same way he did when they were alone, always desperate for her touch, to feel connected to her. It seemed even more intense now when they had a crowd of people looking at them.

"Feeling clingy?" She jokingly asked as the eyes of those around them burned into her skin. She didn't mind it but she was worried he might be embarrassed when he realized how he was acting in front of everyone.

"Just want you to hold me." He kissed her cheek and she could feel a slight blush forming where his lips met her skin.

She held him close, letting him soak in her touch, just as she did when they were in her apartment. She played with his hair and gave his back scratches in the same well practiced dance her fingers performed every day. She decided to break the moment by starting up a conversation with the same girl again as he cuddled into her in silence.

They stayed like that for a while and slowly but surely everyone got used to the odd sight of Rafe Cameron being clingy and soft as fuck, realizing this was normal behavior to the pair as she took it in stride.

After a while Rafe started getting antsy, she could feel him wiggling around and cocked a brow.

"What's up, angel?" Their eyes met and he pouted.

"Need to pee." He almost whined out causing her to chuckle.

"Then go pee?" She didn't understand his dilemma.

"Don't wanna." She realized what he meant, he didn't want to let go of her and leave her embrace even for a short bathroom trip. It made her almost laugh but she held back from it, seeing the serious expression on his face. He was drunker than she thought. She sighed, not believing what she was about to say.

"You want me to come with you?" She could see by the way he immediately brightened, she was right.

She couldn't believe she was so down bad that she'd baby a guy like this. But alas there she was, holding his hand and guiding him to the bathroom. She needed to maintain some dignity so she told him she'd wait outside for him to which he pouted but decided not to complain after seeing the resolution on her face. So she watched him stumble into the bathroom making a mental note to get him to drink water once they got back.

When he came out of the bathroom, he almost lost his footing nearly tripping until she caught him, steadying him. He was embarrassed at how drunk he'd gotten.

"We need to get you some water, baby." He noded his head, wrapping his arms around her again, quietly apologizing into her skin over and over and over while she shushed him and guided them back to the kitchen. As soon as they got there she was thrusting a water bottle at him.

"Drink the whole thing." Her tone left no room for argument so he drank the water obediently and she kept a watchful eye on him the whole time. As she did, she finally noticed something different in his costume. He had gotten redressed when he was in the bathroom upstairs, but something was missing.

"Where's your halo?" He stared at her confused, processing her words for a long moment until they finally set in. He hurried to check his head for the headband he was wearing at the beginning of the night only to find it gone. He set the now empty water bottle on the counter, turning around in search of the missing piece but it was nowhere to be seen.

"I lost it." He pouted, trying to think back to where he had it last but the task was impossible for his drunken mind. She softened at his sad expression, he looked like he might cry.

"It's okay, baby. It was only like 3 dollars." He shook his head, not feeling any better about it.

"But you got it for me." He looked so cute and pitiful, pouting like a kid over a piece of plastic.

"I can get you another one." She smiled as he brightened.

"Really?" She nodded, pulling him closer to fix the mess his hair.

"Really. It's not a big deal." But it was to him. It might have been a silly constume prop but he fully intended to keep it forever as a reminder of their night.

"Our costumes are ruined." He whined and she held back a laugh at his theatrics.

"I don't think anyone cares about our costumes anymore, Rafe." She was right, everyone was too drunk to care about any of that at this point.

"I do.... Now we don't look like a couple anymore." She sighed in exasperation.

"But we are a couple, baby." He smiled at that, hiding his face in her shoulder making her chuckle. He was adorable when he got all shy from her petnames. She knew he loved it when she called him baby the most.

"Wanted everyone to know..." he whined into her skin, apparently not done with the topic yet. She rolled her eyes at what she was about to do to appease him. She really is down bad for this guy.

She pulled out her red lipstick and her phone, reaplying the colour to her lips while he watched her like it was the most fascinating sight in the world.

"Here." She planted a big kiss on his cheek, leaving a print of her lips on his skin. He blushed as she showed him his face on the phone screen, feeling all giddy again.

"Happy now?" She was starting to annoy herself with her need to make him happy tonight.

"Yes. Thank you." He hugged her again, taking in the smell of her hair, feeling sated at last.

As soon as things were starting to feel somewhat peaceful again, Aaron had to make a comeback. She had no patience left in her body for anyone's bullshit and she figured it was around time to get going anyways. She looked down at Rafe, sleepily leaning on her, eyes drooping, realizing he was ready for bed.

"Time for bed, baby?" He groaned in disaproval, not wanting to end the night yet.

"Hungry." She barely managed to make out his mumbling. She hadn't seen any food around except for some chips which was not really good enough to sate a stomach as drunk as his. He needed actual food.

"How about we get you to your room and I order something? Hm?" He looked cute, thinking it over, she could practically see the wheels in his head turning with concentration.

"But we're supposed to go back to yours." The little pout was back on his lips and she realized he pouted a lot when he was drunk.

"I don't think I can carry you back to my place, baby. We can ask Mac for help up the stairs yeah?" He shook his head, the movement clearly making him temporarily dizzy and she worried he might end up falling over.

"M'not that drunk." The slur in his words contradicting his conviction. She simply rolled her eyes and located Mac who was also quite drunk but seemed still capable of helping her out.

"Mac!" The brunet immediately made his way to where the two were standing. "Help me get him upstairs?" He wasted no time nodding and grabbing his best friend under his arms to drag him to his room. Rafe protested again but after stumbling decided to keep his mouth shut and accept the help. He could still walk to an extent so Mac didn't need her help, managing to get him to his room fairly quick helping him down on his bed.

"I'm sorry." He kept apologizing, feeling bad for ruining the night. She disagreed. She'd had plenty of fun with him tonight and him being drunk was but a minor inconveniece to an overall good time. She explained this to him, kissing his cheek in reassurance.

Mac had made himself scarce quickly and she was thankful for the privacy and the quiet of the room. She ordered them both a burger and fries and played with his hair while they waited. It didn't take long for him to doze off.

Once her phone pinged, she snuck out not to wake him and made her way outside to get the food, pushing past the rest of the drunken party downstairs. When she came back his eyes were barely open, it seemed he had woken up by her absence. She smiled showing him the food and he returned it, stomach grumbling with hunger.

They finished their food quite quickly, given how hungry they were, throwing the trash in the bag to be dealt with tomorrow. She changed into his t-shirt and despite the sleepiness overcoming him, his eyes still stared at her body, unable to control himself when she was so damn beautiful. She caught him staring and chuckled at his awestruck expression. He had the same look on every time he saw her undress.

"Come on baby, lets get you changed, hm?" She helped him pull his shirt off and struggled to take off his pants but eventually managed. He had an adorable grin on his face as she made herself comfortable beside him. She reached for him and he immediately made himself at home in her arms. Sleeping with her had become one of his absolute favorite things in the world. He never sleeps better than when he's wrapped up in her arms.

"Good night." He whispered into her hair and she laid a light kiss on his temple as the exhaustion finally caught up to her.

"Good night, my angel."

.........................................

Taglist: if anyone wants to be tagged in future work let me know; @torturedtypewritersdept @kinkyrafe @mentallynot-here @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @clinelyn @magnificantmermaid @mannstarkey @harringtonstudios @totallynotkaibiased @popcrone818 @fangirlwithlou @rafesxgold @malfoytargaryen @theyluvmesblog @withbeautyandrage @sierrahhh @harrys-humble-housewife @piceous21 @ditzyballerina @xoxo3m1ly @jessmaybank @whore-4-drewstarkey @palmwinemami @dustbunniess @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @starkowswife @ietss @beansprout713 @starkeysbebe @miahxelizabeth @lalalalala33

[aesthetixhoe]

random ethan landry head cannons — E.L.

warnings: some nsfw ones, nothing too bad, maybe slightly queer coded ethan? (some thoughts)

word count:

pronouns used: this is about ethan >:(

authors note: this is just to get something for ethan out while I work on my very long ethan fic :) nsfw in red <3

loves spider man

his fav holiday is halloween

he loves dressing up for it.

He had a short-lived cosplay phase. While that didn't work out, he still loves making costume parts, and takes Halloween very seriously.

his favorite color is blue <3 (regardless of what i say in later things)

he is such a movie nerd, omg

he will skip his classes to go see a movie the day it comes out, at the first showing. or if it's on a streaming service he will wake up early so that way he is one of the first people to watch it so he doesn't get anything spoiled.

he loves emojis. he will use all the hearts, the "aesthetic ones", and the ones like 😭😃😈 ironically

he doesn't post anything to instagram, snapchat, tiktok, anything. he just uses it to talk to people, take pictures with filters for fun, or to watch things

he's really oblivious to flirting.

unless you flat out say "I like you" or "you're really cute and I want to date you," he probably won't pick up on it.

he used to wear glasses, but got bullied, so he started wearing contacts :(

he loves syfy

he secretly loves romcoms and reality tv but he would never tell anyone

snack lover. his favorite being cheetos ofc

can cook "depression meals," and that's the end of his cooking expertise

definitely likes star wars

has star wars pajama pants

math is his favorite subject

wanted to have an emo phase but was too scared he would be bullied

likes COD and halo, but doesn't play it with people he knows cause he's scared he's bad :(

he is so insecure about everything. poor boy </3

loves pet names!!

he doesn't have a preface for him, but he loves using baby and sweetheart for his s/o

has for sure thought about chad in a sexual way.

he would never act on anything.

once told chad how he was insecure of his body, so chad started taking him to the gym with him

says he hates when chad is a hype man, but actually loves it

used to want to be an engineer when he grew up, but actually did it in middle school and didn't like it

was an honor roll student

has always wanted to travel somewhere outside the US, but doesn't know where

is an amazing cuddler

give great hugs

his hands are warm all the time

it makes him self-conscious when holding someone's hand, but he tries to ignore it

is a potato enjoyer

has a cat back home that he misses a lot

is awful at bowling

and most sports

it's not that he's not fit enough, he just has bad hand eye coordination

jackets >> hoodies

brushes, flosses, and uses mouthwash 2 times a day, EVERYDAY.

can eat 😼 like no other

takes pictures straight out of the shower, with just a towel around his waist to "see his gym progress"

catches on super quick to things his partner likes

is inexperienced, but still very skilled somehow??

knows where the clit is

is submissive, but he also wants to be dominate

will take whatever his s/o gives

love language is touch, even though he's scared in the beginning

once he gets used to his s/o he loves touching them

he likes hickeys.

whether they're on him or his s/o. he doesn't care. he likes them on him because it shows people he has someone who liked him enough to do that to him. and he likes them on the other person because it shows that they're his.

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 6 - Heard It In a Love Song

Summary: Let's talk about the real Casanova of Corroded Coffin...

Word Count: 979

Rating: T

Pairings: Dave/Tina, briefly alluded Eddie/OC (The Knight from As Above, So Below)

Warnings/Themes: Unrequited Feelings, Confessions, Mutual Pining, Song Fic (Somethin' Stupid by Frank Sinatra), set the same night as Werewolf but you don't need to read that.

Note: I figured that since Saturdays of CCFest are sort of...love themed I would tie them into some of my existing stories. Don't know how well that will hold up as we continue but...fuck it, let's go.

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

I know I stand in line Until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me

Dave hated parties.

They'd just never been his scene.

The music was always bad, the food even worse, they were crowded, hot, and uncomfortable.

His pet peeve? He’d actually enjoy the party—dancing, talking to some people—and someone would start making out right next to him. Full on tonsil hockey.

Tonight was unimaginably awful; he was amidst a sea of hormonal, drunk teenagers and he had to sit there and watch his crush play hostess all night.

Christina Clyne. Tina.

The most beautiful girl in school.

Dave was pretty sure that she didn't know he existed, even though they were lab partners. Mainly because she never looked at him.

And if we go some place to dance I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me

She'd been flitting about all night, putting out snacks and yelling when people spilled their drink.

She greeted them all when they arrived, desperately thanking Eddie for bringing the weed. And even though she even made snarky remark about Eddie having a girlfriend, she was still pretty welcoming to the freaks.

"Guess if Halloween belonged to anyone it would be you guys," she laughed and waved them towards the patio. "If you wanna set up outside. There's a keg out there, and then snacks in the kitchen. Help yourselves."

Before she disappeared, she smiled nervously at Dave.

His heart stopped in his chest; he figured that he'd just been staring creepily the whole time.

Because that had to be it.

He'd gone steady with people before and they’d been cute.

But Tina? She was completely out of his league.

Surely she had a boyfriend hanging around somewhere. One of Tommy Hagan's douchebag friends? Or that Hargrove guy that had everyone swooning?

She was being polite; she couldn't actually be smiling at him.

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two

As the night went on, he found the the party wasn't all that bad.

Yeah, there were kids making out in the living room, and Jeff had disappeared a while ago. Eddie and his girlfriend stayed outside making fun of people's costumes.

But Dave was determined to have a good time.

He didn’t want to just mope around, especially when Tina was always nearby.

So he'd played beer pong, danced with Nancy Wheeler of all people, and drank spiked punch until he felt a little dizzy.

And that's how he ended up in Tina's bedroom.

"Oh shit," he muttered as he swung the door open to find a frilly, pink-painted bedroom instead of a toilet and sink. But his thoughts came into focus when he realized that Tina was sitting on the bed, tears silently dripping down her cheeks. "You ok?"

She startled at the sound of his voice and quickly made to wipe them away.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," she tried to laugh it off. "Did you need help finding anything Dave?"

His was dumbfounded; she knew his name?

"Uh, I was...looking for the bathroom," he explained but hesitated. "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I was just," she stopped herself. "It's silly."

"It isn't silly if it upset you. I get upset about things all the time. It always makes me feel better to tell someone."

"R-really?" she sniffed and he nodded. "Alright."

They shared a smile and she patted the spot next to her.

And then I go and spoil it all

“Alright, what’s the hubbub bub?” He asked, channeling some of the smooth lingo Eddie used.

It earned him the softest giggle that made him feel like he was gonna melt.

“Like I said, it’s silly,” she sniffled again, looking directly into his eyes. “But…I saw my crush dancing with someone else.”

He felt his heart shatter, “o-oh?”

“I’d been trying to give him hints all night, made sure I was always around…but it wasn’t enough.”

He reached down and picked at the blanket on the bed, “I, uh, I don’t know guys are kinda stupid.”

She giggled again, and he closed his eyes to harden his heart.

“Sometimes,” he cleared his throat, “you have to just walk up to them and tell them ‘hey, I like you.’”

“Seriously?! That sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

And he wished he could be that guy who gave bad advice on purpose, who made Tina look like an idiot because if he couldn’t be with her, then no one should.

But he wasn’t that kind of guy.

“No if you really like them, you should just tell them,”

“Alright.” She gently set her hand on his. “Davey? I…I really like you.”

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

His head shot back up so he could look at her again for any kind of joke or mockery, but there was only softness and sincerity.

It didn’t make sense…she was talking about him?

When? Who? What?!

He went over the whole night in his head and yeah, every time he found someplace to hang out she was there. And maybe she’d been around when he had danced with Nancy...had she been watching him?

Tina’s hand started to pull away from his.

"This is so stupid," she backtracked. "I'm sorry Da-"

"No!" he shouted at her. She stared at him in wide-eyed shock. He lowered his voice and then turned his hand over to grab hers. "No, it's ok. I, uh, I guess I give really good advice...because I didn't even know...and, uh, I really like you too Tina."

The moment was soft and perfect. Birds were chirping, fireworks going off, soft love hearts appear around her face. He could feel ever very deity devoted to love approval.

And it was the single greatest moment of his life.

"You wanna fool around?"

"Fuck yeah."

[fedoraspooky]

Okay Spooky, if you don't mind random questions- what's your favourite Disney movie?

Oh I don't mind at all! I'm actually quite tickled to get one out of the blue like this. nwn

But yes! Answer! Uh, well... Honestly a lot of the ones in the 80s and 90s hold a bit of sentimental value to me due to the fact that my dad worked on them. I would always leave the tape running through the credits until I spotted his name. ;w; In fact, on the DvD for Treasure Planet, if you go to the special features you can actually see him in the making of featurette, where they're asking him about how he sculpted the cyborg parts for John Silver! But, er, yes- favorites!

I would say, it's kind of a toss up between two-

I LOVE The Great Mouse Detective. It encapsulates a lot of stuff I like about that era of Disney, and I do enjoy me a good detective story. The animation is smooth and full of character, and has that rough-lined charm of the xerox era, and the backgrounds? Absolutely gorgeous. The story is fun and full of great comedic moments and also moments that downright terrified me as a kid (That Fidget jumpscare and everything leading up to it still gives me the heebie jeebies). But most of all, I love the characters and the dynamics between all of them, especially whatever Basil and Ratigan have going on. Dear lord. Really not surprising this movie ended up being part of my big list of inspos when writing Kilroy. XD

Second movie- and I know some people don't count it as Disney but to hell with it, it was in kingdom hearts so it darn well counts in my book- The Nightmare Before Christmas. GOD, this movie. When it first came out, I couldn't make it past the opening song because I was scared of the clown with the tearaway face. I shit you not. BUT once I was past that, it quickly became an obsession in my little kid mind. My mom actually showed me a PHOTO she has of me from when I was still in my single digits of age, in which apparently I had taken a black permanent marker to my face to draw rings around my eyes and lines on my mouth so I could look like Jack Skellington. My mom still has it framed in her living room to this day. XD But yes, I sang all the songs, I drew Jack and Sally and Zero all over whatever paper I could get my hands on, and I even made a christmas ornament of Jack's head out of sculpey that we put on the tree every year since. It was probably a huge reason that I became such a huge Halloween and spooky-things lover. And even to this day, it resonates a LOT with me as a movie about someone who is just experiencing the WORST artistic burnout. That's really what this movie is about, I've written a whole-ass essay of a post once rambling about Jack's Lament as a song because of the feels it gave me (i tried to find it but idk if i deleted it during a scare of tumblr copyright striking blogs for music a long while back or if tumblr's blog search function is just poop, either is possible).

Anyway I've talked your ear off long enough, my apologies for the long post but sadly that is what happens when you get me talking about stuff I like. <XD ; Every time I say I won't, but then I become this:

[popcornforone]

OCTOBER

From the Marcus Pike Fan Fic Diary

Day 28 of Pedrotober (Any Marcus Prompt)

Pedrotober Masterlist

The Diary Masterlist

September

I was very very tempted to do this away from Pedrotober & just do it as a usual post, but this had been my plan for this month before I knew I was gonna do Pedrotober, so it made sense. If you want to catch up on what’s gone on in the dairy please click for the diary link above.

Synopsis:-You show Marcus his Halloween costume.

Word count:-600

Warnings over & above:- oral sex, teasing, swearing, fantasy’s.Remember this is a diary so it’s written as I.

Thanks as always for the read peoples, my heart of full with all the love you have given me this month it’s the confidence boost I needed. Thanks @norththelemon & @alyssamariag for the prompts. Sorry that they all got smutty.

It’s Halloween diary… already? How are we here… well I know it’s in a couple of days time, but I got to show Marcus his costume today. It arrived in the post well the main part did. I was buzzing for him to look at it & let’s just say he couldn’t contain his laughing.

“The fuck” he cackled. “No im not doing that”

“Why not” i said.

“Because it’s not scary”

“It will be when your make up is done”

“Make up?” He always moans every year that I turn him into a vampire or zombie version of what he actually is. He puts up with it though, just for me, I’m not sure he would for anyone else.

“Come on Marcus”

“I mean I’m still not sure what it even is”

“Make up is actually minimal you can either have your hair done & a little bit of make up or you can put the mask on”

“There’s a mask as well!!” He shook his head wondering how much I’d spent on his outfit when we are meant to be saving.

“Yes” he reaches into the bottom of the bag & looks back at me.

“Seriously”

Out he pulls the mask. Skin colour. Bits looking like it’s about to drop off, woodland deadly vibe, eye holes covered by mesh.

“So I’m either meant to be Joel Miller or an infected from the last of us?”

“Yes”

“I mean I knew you had a thing for Pedro Pascal, but seriously, I look nothing like him”

I then pull my sulky look at him. I’ve mentioned a few times that he’s got a very close resemblance to the actor, especially the eyes hair & how broad he is.

“Please Marcus” I beg.

“Maybe, I think I need some convincing though baby”

I drop to my knees & unbuckle his belt in the middle of the kitchen. He hadn’t even bargained with me. I wanted to make him feel good.

“Would this help you change your mind” I unzipped him in a few seconds.

“Hmmm could do”

How he moaned & griped the kitchen counter as I took his entire length into his mouth.

“Fuck baby, I love it when your so needy”

“Finally got an apitite for something”

“Better than bananas on toast”

All of those words he said we met with long drawn out moans.

I was so sloppy with my blow job, he didn’t care. His eyes were rolling, he just kept moaning my name telling me to not stop. I wasn’t going to. He was in seventh heaven. I’ve not seen him looked this blissed out since the Bahamas, that waterfall will never be forgotten. As water streamed from my eyes & I gagged for what felt like the 50th time, salty liquid seeped down my throat. He’s always so tangy. He’s a real treat to taste. I swallowed it like a good girl. Licking my lips loudly to make him continue to twitch as I cleaned him up too.

“Oooh baby” he moaned as he helped me up onto my feet. “You still got it”

“I never lost it”

It took him a few seconds to regain composure & return to reality before he asked me what I was wearing for Halloween.

“Your favourite baby… I’m going as a zombie Lara Croft but with fishnets”

His jaw dropped. That is not an exaggeration.

Let’s just say our kitchen worked up lots of appetites, what’s he gonna be like when I put that costume on in a few days time… will we even get to the party?

November

[deejadabbles]

Forbidden Blossom (Kix x Fem!Reader, Fantasy AU Part 2)

Part One || Part Two || Part Three Coming Soon

Summary: The tyrant king had never claimed to love you and you certainly held no affection for him. Thankfully, there was someone else who captured your heart. Rating: Gen (but minors DNI!) A.N: Listen....I'm just really obsessed with fantasy AUs right now, so I just had to continue what I created back during Halloween! As always, this got way out of hand and the continuation got too long, so this will be a 3 parter. Part 3 will be posted next week so I don't overwhelm anyone Word Count: 3,409 Warnings: Forced engagement, abusive relationships, implied physical abuse, life threats, and forbidden love. If you are concerned that this chapter's content might be triggering, please feel free to send me a message! I will do my best to answer any questions (without triggering language). That goes for all of my fics, I want everyone reading to be safe.

Masterlist /// Tag List Sign Up  /// AO3

The sheets felt like sandpaper, despite their silken weave, the air cold and stifling regardless of the fire and windows ajar. A prison, even though the doors were not locked.

You didn’t know what time of day it was, but the chamber maids had cleared out recently marking that it was some time before lunch, probably. That wouldn’t matter, you had barely eaten anything since you’d been dragged to the palace of the tyrant.

So, it almost surprised you when you heard voices outside your door. One voice was the captain of your guard, the man who, at least once a day, insisted that you eat something. The other voice was not one you recognized and that alone made you stir just a little under your duvet. Not just anyone was permitted into your chambers, let alone this close to your bedroom door.

“Oh gods, please- please don’t let it be him!”

But even as the heartstopping thought came to you, it was wiped away by the gentleness of the stranger's voice. There was no way the King you had met could sound so…

“There has to be something you can do, Kix.” That was Fox, a good man despite his stern frown.

There was a sigh from the stranger “I can try but….” a thought mulled over, carefully considered, “brother, I can’t heal a broken heart.”

“And why would you think- actually, never mind just…just do something, before he does something.”

The sound of retreating boots followed, along with another sigh a moment later. A heartbeat went by and you hoped the stranger had abandoned his assignment, that he would just leave you to your gilded cage, but then the doors to your bedroom opened.

You retreated further under your blankets, sinking into their plush warmth that still seemed so abrasive to your skin. Maybe if he thought you were asleep he would try again later. Yet again though, this mystery man surprised you. His steps towards your lavish bed were slow and careful, as if approaching a dragon’s nest.

“Your Highness?” he asked, voice quiet and soft. Highness, not Majesty, because you were not yet married to that evil man- thank the gods. “My Lady, I’m a doctor, I’ve been asked to see to your health.” His voice was closer now, right beside the head of your bed.

“I’m not sure there’s anything you can do, Doctor,” came your voice from under the fabric.

Another beat of silence, then, “Would you be willing to let me try, at least?”

You had no idea what or why, but something in his tone made you pull back the covers and peer up at him. He was handsome, devastatingly so, with finely styled hair, but the thing that drew you in most were his eyes. A rich brown color and holding a look that…it wasn’t pity. This was the first time a member of the palace had looked at you softly without pity and that alone kept you from ordering him out of your room.

He smiled then, as soft and kindly as his eyes when he reached out to your hand. “May I?”

Soft and considerate, this man was impressing you more by the minute. You nodded and held your palm up to him. Gently, he took your wrist and pressed his fingers to the soft skin there.

“Alright, your pulse is fine,” he hummed then, again slowly so you had time to stop him, he reached that hand to your forehead. His fingers were cool, like a refreshing damp cloth on a hot day, and it was all you could do not to lean into his touch. “No fever, either,” he continued thoughtfully. Then, after a moment he took his hand away, “May I ask you some questions?”

You nodded numbly, silently.

Instead of immediately asking this and that about your medical history, he instead walked over to your fireplace and grabbed one of the chairs. He brought it over to the bedside and sat with a little satisfied sigh.

“Tell me about your home.”

That caused you to blink, “Wh-what?”

His knowing smile didn’t falter, “Talk to me, My Lady. Tell me about where you grew up. What you loved most about it. The things that made you happy there.”

Your brows came together in confusion and you finally sat upright to meet his handsome eyes better. He didn’t repeat himself, just waited patiently. Despite the fact that his gaze never left your face, you were suddenly very aware of the fact that you were in nothing but your thin night clothes. He was a doctor, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen exposed bodies before, but your sudden shyness prompted you to lift the blanket over your chest as you settled your back against the pillows.

“Well…” you started after clearing your throat. 

Where would you even start with his question? You missed everything about home, every tiny detail that stood in stark contrast to this place. You missed the sun coming in to shine over a room you decorated and filled yourself. You missed visiting the village and all who greeted you with a smile and a wave. Missed the late nights with friends and people you loved. And the people who loved you back.

That and so much more came to mind, but, you only had to think for a moment longer before a memory two weeks old came back to you. 

Nothing about this arranged marriage had pleased you, but you had at least tried to find some enjoyment in your first days here. Then you had taken a walk through the gardens and when even they did not spark joy, your emotions spiraled, landing you here, in your current state.

“I miss my gardens,” you said finally, staring off at nothing in particular. “They were so beautiful. So colorful and vibrant…. Not like the bare, minimal flower beds here.” You trailed off for a moment, pulling up fond memories from the depths of your mind and, for maybe the first time since you started your journey here, you smiled. A real, genuine smile. “There was one section where our gardener would let things get just a little overgrown,” a ghost of a laugh escaped you as you met the Doctor’s eyes again, “he said that it represented ‘wild beauty’ and somehow convinced my father to keep it. My loved ones and I set up a little tea area there and every afternoon we would go walking through the gardens and…just talk and laugh. Simple pleasures.”

The Doctor’s smile turned encouraging and your body turned to him fully. Before you knew it you were telling him stories, stories of you and your best friends racing through the flowers, of begging the bakers to let you help prepare the treats you’d stuff into baskets and carry out there. Stories of reenacting scenes from your favorite books like children playing pretend. He listened to it all, laughing along with you, asking questions here and there and encouraging you all the way.

You weren’t even sure how much time had passed before you realized that the weight that had been pressing on your chest for weeks felt…lighter now. Suddenly, the room wasn’t quite as suffocating as before. Maker, you even had the urge to pull back the curtains to let a little sunlight in.

The good doctor must have noticed your sudden silence, because he pulled his chair just a little closer to you. “Thank you, for sharing those stories with me, Your Highness.” He paused for a moment, seeming to think something over. “I know I’ve already asked a lot of you, but, could I ask one more thing?”

You couldn’t find it in yourself to even hesitate, you nodded silently.

“I would love to show you something, it’s a beautiful day and I think a walk would do you some good. Will you get dressed and meet with me?”

And there it was, he was still asking you, considering you, taking your wants into account. No one here had ever done that. Not truly.

“Yes, yes, I think that sounds nice.”

Those eyes of his brightened “Excellent! Take your time, I’ll tell Fox where to escort you.”

With that, he got up, pulled the chair back to its original spot and made for the door. Only now it was time for your own question, “Wait- Doctor! What’s your name? You didn’t give it earlier.”

For the first time, he looked surprised, “Kix, My Lady. You may call Kix.” He looked back at you with his hand on the doorknob. “I look forward to our walk, Your Highness.”

And with that, he- Kix, slipped out of the room. It was only then that you realized there was a small fluttering sensation in your stomach, something light and almost uneasy. Well, you hadn’t eaten much in so long, it must be that. You thought about indulging in one of the snack trays the maids left at your bedside, but the thought still didn’t quite appeal to you. 

Still, the fact that you could pull yourself out of bed and start putting thought into what you wanted to wear was a good improvement.

You did not call on your handmaids, the idea of being surrounded by people, of hands on your skin and in your hair, did not sit well at the moment. Despite that, and the fact that it was the first time in days you had come out of your room, It did not take that long to get ready and ask Fox to escort you to this mysterious location.

At first when you stepped outside the east wing, your heart dropped slightly, knowing that this was the way to the gardens that were a stark, depressing imitation of your lavish grounds back home. But, the gentle doctor was not waiting for you there. Yes, you had to walk through those almost sterile flowerbeds, but obviously this was not the intended meeting spot. 

You kept your eyes forward, not wanting to see the roses cut down to their stems so the thorns prickled in the sunlight, or how the lilies were cut free of any diverse or colorful petals, robbing them of unique beauty. At the edge of the overly pruned yard was a line of tall hedges and Fox led you past them. 

What lay beyond took your breath away.

It was an orchard teeming with life. Countless trees bearing fragrant fruit and vine covered trellises blooming with even more. All of them were well tended, cared for, but not overly cut like the flowers before. No, these were how nature should be, respected and loved and free to grow.

And there among it all, looking fondly at a patch of strawberries, was Kix. His smile rivaled the warmth of the sun as he noticed you standing there and he bowed his head slightly. “Your Highness, thank you for joining me.” Then he turned to Fox, “You can leave the Princess to me, Commander.”

In answer, the leader of your personal guard sighed, but turned to stand sentry by the hedge archway without protest. Kix waved his hand down the humble pathway between the trees, an invitation to walk with him. You did, gladly, and didn’t try to hide how in wonder you were of the orchard as you two began your walk.

“Hardly anyone but the gardeners come here,” Kix explained, “It took a long time for them to convince the King that over pruning is bad for the harvest, and that’s the only reason these plants and trees aren’t cut down to their stems. When you told those stories about your garden back home, I thought you might like it here.”

“It’s beautiful,” your tone was breathless, which obviously pleased him to no end, if that look in his eyes was any indication. “Thank you, Kix, this is wonderful.”

He opened his mouth, a response on the tip of his tongue, but then he hesitated. Instead, he walked over to the nearest tree, which just so happened to be bearing one of your favorite fruits, and plucked a ripe specimen from the branch. 

“I know that your situation isn’t an easy one, Princess,” he started as he walked back to you, “but if you ever need an ear to listen,” he took your hand and placed the fruit in your palm, “you just have to ask, and I’m yours.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you nearly gasped at his words and that’s when he suddenly looked a little flustered.

“My ear- my ear is yours, I mean.” He laughed nervously, then closed your fingers over the fruit, “What I’m trying to say is that, if you ever need a friend, I would be honored if you considered me one.”

It was hard to meet his gaze, not because you were embarrassed by his misstep in words, but because his promise made that fluttering sensation move to your chest as well as your stomach. This man, so full of kindness and care, he was making your heart feel light and heavy all at the same time. Maybe there was some joy to be found in this cage. You would take any you could get, so, you thanked the Doctor for his kind words.

“I would be the one honored to call you my friend, Kix.”

Something akin to surprise colored his eyes at that, surprise and something… tender. 

“Then, whenever you need to talk, or want a reminder of home, just call on me.” Then, Kix closed his eyes and lifted your clasped hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss to your fingers. 

It was that moment that your heart took flight. 

It was no wonder that, over the next months, the Princess and the Doctor would fall madly and deeply in love.

Your room had never quite felt like a home, always a golden cell, always a sign of your lost freedom, or the way you were chained to him. But it had never felt as cold and unforgiving as it did now. The fire was out, leaving you in icy darkness, all while the fiance you never chose towered over you.

“I asked you a question, girl: do you think I am a fool?” The tyrant king’s tone was flat and cold, even as you tried to choke back the tears from your spot on the floor. 

Even if you tried to get up, he would just force you back down again, so you answered him through gritted teeth. “No. You are no fool, Your Majesty.”

“Then why did you think I wouldn’t find out about this?” It was the first time something besides cold fury colored his tone. He was seething now. “Did you truly think I was so blind? That I wouldn’t see the longing stares or hear about your romantic walks?!”

You yelped when he grabbed your collar and yanked you onto your back.

“Did you truly think you could get away with making a fool of me?”

For all his cruelty, you had never seen him like this, his brutality had always been a cold and unfeeling blade, not this burning fire of rage. It was all there in his eye and bared teeth as he glared down at you and it made you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

Then, the harsh curl of his lips eased, teeth no longer bared, as he leaned back and stepped away from your prone form. He was regaining his composure before your eyes as he straightened and clasped his hands behind his back.

“Get up,” he commanded, tone like cold steel once again. “I want you to have a better seat when my men bring in the good doctor.”

That caused your heart to freeze in your chest. “No- no!” The desperate plea left you as you scrambled to your feet.

The King smiled in that cruel curl of his lips. “Yes, my dear. You will watch while I make an example of him. While I show him what happens to men who touch what’s mine.”

“Please!” Your voice cracked with the force of your words, “Please- I’m to blame, not him!”

His smile only grew with more you pleaded, “Which is exactly why I will hurt him instead.”

That vicious mirth in his eyes is what made you lose any last shred of resolve. Of course this was his plan, cold and calculated. Bruises could heal, but the memories of this? They would haunt you forever, and in the end he still got his meek pet for a queen.

“I gave you an order,” he went on, “I said get up-”

He was interrupted by the doors to your chambers being thrown open. In marched a company of the King’s most trusted guards, with Commander Fox, who had been ordered to wait outside, hot on their heels.

“Your Majesty,” the head of this company said with a bow, “my men are still searching the grounds, but it would appear that the traitor Kix has…escaped.”

Oh, the king did not like that. 

The fabric of his gloves strained as he clenched his fists, the knuckles surely white beneath. He drew in a harsh breath through his nose as he turned away from you without a second glance. 

“Find him. Search the whole kingdom if needed,” all the guards, save for Fox, followed their king as he stormed towards the doors, “if you have to bring him back here in pieces, do it!”

With that threat ringing in your ears, doors were slammed shut again, the sound echoing through the room like glass shattering on marble.

Silence swelled, filling the void the King’s rage left behind. Leaving you in the cold and the dark. In your cage draped in finery.

Gone. Kix was gone. He had escaped somehow. The thought sent a myriad of emotions washing through you, tearing and shredding your body in a confusing whirlwind. Before you knew it, you were curling in on yourself, fists clutching the fabric over your heart and tears staining your cheeks.

Harsh sobs wracked your body and you couldn’t say whether they were from the relief of knowing he was safe or the sorrow of knowing you would never see the love of your life again. Deep down, they were likely both, you supposed.

You jumped when something warm and heavy was draped around your shoulders. You hadn’t even noticed Fox kneeling beside you, blanket in hand. Somewhere, in the back of your mind you remembered telling him that the blanket was your favorite from home, but at the moment all you could do was pull it tighter around yourself as you tried to steady the painful breaths you were taking.

Fox, possibly the only other man who had ever shown you any care in this hellish castle, didn’t say a word as he waited for your body to tire itself out with its mourning. When it did, he silently helped you to your feet. You don’t remember walking to your bed, just that the blankets had been placed over you and the fireplace nearby had been stoked back to life.

Finally, your trusted guard spoke, a firm if still cautious call of your name. Your actual name, not a title. “Please,” he said in a whisper, “don’t do anything drastic. Things won’t be like this for much longer. I promise.”

Confused, you blinked up at him, but he didn’t say anything more, just bowed his head respectfully and closed the curtains of your bed slowly. If there had been any strength left in you, you might have called for him, asked him to stay close. To not leave you. You didn’t need to ask, however, you heard his boots stop just outside your bedroom. Standing sentry, acting as your shield, as much as he could in any case.

The patterns of the curtains danced from the crackling fire on the other side, but it was just a blank canvas to stare at as your mind ran the same thoughts in your head over and over again. He’s gone, Kix is gone. At best, you’ll never know true love’s touch again, at worst, you’ll see that love slaughtered for the crime of existing.

Still, even in your spiraling despair, one other mantra crept in here and there. 

“Things won’t be like this for much longer”

Divider by the amazing @dystopicjumpsuit

[aylacavebear]

Dimensional Shift - Chapter 7 S4E3-6

Story Summary: Maria was just a regular girl, worked at a gas station, wrote fanfic, and loved Supernatural. She even created her own supernatural creature for her writings. When the aurora borealis comes to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, one Halloween night, everything changes for her in ways she never expected. Will she be able to navigate this new world she's thrown into?

Word Count: 3688

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Angst, some Fluff/Comfort, Alcoholism.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 7 - S4E3-E6

(Sep. 20/08 - Oct. 28/08)

Maria stayed out of the next case, knowing that this would be when Castiel would come to Dean in his dreams and then send him back in time to see what happened between his mother and the yellow-eyed demon Azazel.

After which Dean would be confronting Sam about being on demon blood and working with Ruby. Then they’d have a Rurguru case, which was when Sam would choose to stop drinking the demon blood all on his own. She also had no desire to watch Dean flirt shamelessly with the waitress when they’d deal with the shapeshifter at the Oktoberfest.

She told the boys to be safe and that they could handle it, but if they needed anything, she and Bobby were there and only a phone call away. After the boys left, Maria filled Bobby in, swearing him to secrecy because, in her words, “This needed to happen a specific way.” Bobby wasn’t happy about it, but he agreed. 

“Kid, they should know more than what you’ve told ‘em,” Bobby sighed after she explained some things.

“I can’t risk changing too much, though. I know they both miss her, and I don’t know another way to bring her back,” Maria practically mumbled.

“But do they really need to go through all that crap?” he asked, not completely sure how it all fit together.

She sighed, staring at the coffee table, “Over the time that passes, the two of them learn things on their own and it helps their bond eventually get stronger. Those two would do anything for each other. Even Cas ends up being family, but he does some stupid shit too.”

Bobby sipped his whiskey as he eyed Maria momentarily, concern etched into the lines of his weathered face, “How are you holding up?”

She shifted in her seat, her gaze flickering to the floor before meeting Bobby’s eyes, “Honestly, it’s both weird and cool, being here. I fell in love with all of the show's characters. It’s why I wrote fanfic. I just never thought I’d actually end up here,” she chuckled dryly, a hint of vulnerability in her voice.

He leaned back in his chair, studying her with a mix of sympathy and understanding, “Just know, I still see you like my daughter. You can talk to me about anything,” he tried to reassure her.

“I know, and I appreciate it. I just don’t know how to act around the boys sometimes,” Maria sighed.

Bobby chuckled, “Well, the you from here has had a crush on Dean since she was about thirteen. Swore me to secrecy back then. I’m gonna guess you probably have more than a crush.”

Her cheeks warmed as a deep blush appeared, and she was thankful neither of the brothers was there, “Yeah, that would go over really well. The girl from another dimension is in love with what used to be a fictional character in her world,” she said fairly sarcastically, then sighed and looked back down at the table. “He’d laugh at me.”

Bobby sighed, not quite sure how to say what he was thinking about, “You could always just be blunt about it. Don’t live with regrets, kid.”

She knew exactly what he meant. Bobby had regrets, most of them having to do with his deceased wife and choosing never to have kids himself. He’d broken her heart and then had to kill her three days later due to her getting possessed by a demon. She debated telling him he should get an anti-possession tattoo, but that would have changed far too much. 

“Dean isn’t the kind to settle down, Bobby. He likes his “freedom”,” she replied, rolling her eyes and putting the word freedom in air quotes.

He eyed you for a minute before he continued, “He may be an idjit, but he has a good heart. I think he might surprise you if you were honest with him.” After sipping his whiskey, he realized something, “Is that why you didn’t go with them?”

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with him, “You try to watch someone you love flirt with every girl but you. Can we talk about something else, please?”

Bobby sighed, deciding he’d try to figure out a way to help her, but kept that to himself for now. “Then, while you’re here and not on a case with those two, you’ll train. That way, I don’t have to worry ‘bout you so much when you do go out with them.”

“Thanks,” she replied, giving him a thankful smile.

During that month, she spent a lot of time practicing movements, using her Touched abilities to get the hang of them better. It was the training she needed to reacquaint herself with what the character from her fanfic had been doing since her powers manifested. One thing she was having the hardest time with was feeling so alone. 

She was a fangirl and had been for over a year, and now she was in her favorite show with a fictional character she’d gone and fallen in love with. She also figured this entire situation had to be weird for all three of them.

When she slept, memories of “her past here” played through her mind, and she began missing the man who was her father here. She also got memories of the times she had hung out with the brothers, Bobby, and even with John. 

Bobby made sure to reacquaint her with how to shoot a gun. Her body knew what it was doing, but she had to grasp the feeling of it when she pulled the trigger. Each gun felt different. She didn’t want to be afraid of them, so she managed to stay serious while Bobby taught her.

Castiel couldn’t infiltrate Maria’s dreams due to her being a Touched and having the protection of Bastet by a birthmark or, more, a brand of a small, one-inch black cat mark on the back of her left shoulder. Most monsters couldn’t use their energy powers on her due to that. It did depend on how powerful they were. Of course, she wasn’t invulnerable. 

When Dean got Ghost Sickness, Sam called Bobby in for some help, so Maria tagged along. She stayed in the motel room with Dean while Bobby went to help Sam. Dean didn’t have long left, a couple of hours if he was lucky, and the hallucinations were bad at this point. Maria did her best to keep him distracted but couldn’t when the sheriff showed up, worse off than Dean was. 

Maria’s blood could only heal so much, and this was not one of those things. Even though she tried, cutting her finger and dripping blood into Dean’s wound that he had scratched into his arm, sadly, it had no effect. All she could do was hold him as he held his chest, gripping where his heart was. She knew he wasn’t meant to die here, but being a part of this was hard for her, far harder than watching it on the show.

“Bobby and Sam will fix this, I promise,” she tried to tell him, even if he was in too much pain to hear her.

Then, out of the blue, he was fine, and Maria let out a sigh of relief. The blood she had dripped into his wound now healed his injuries fairly quickly. Dean looked up at her, slightly confused as to why she was holding him. He got to his feet and then helped Maria to hers.

“Thanks for trying at least,” he told her with that smile smirk of his.

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t at least try?” she replied, smiling more with one side of her lips than the other, not quite a smirk though.

This was the first time the two of them had been alone since she had arrived in their world. Dean was relaxed as he headed over to the fridge, grabbing himself a beer and chuckling slightly. Maria, on the other hand, felt nervous and anxious around him. Keeping her composure took quite a lot, but Dean noticed the smile she couldn’t completely hide, as well as the emotions in her eyes.

“Well, I appreciate it,” he finally told her before he took a drink.

She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she went over and sat on the edge of the bed. Her nerves felt as though they were on edge. Maria knew there was more to Dean than just his outer appearance. But dear God, that outer appearance was something she’d fantasized over on numerous occasions. 

He was the epitome of rugged charm. With broad shoulders and a sturdy build, he exuded an aura of strength and confidence that drew people in effortlessly. Along his chiseled jawline was two-day-old scruff since he hadn’t bothered to shave, accentuating his rugged good looks. Then, there were his piercing green eyes. They held a hint of mischief, always ready with a smirk or a cocky grin that sent hearts racing.

Dean had the most expressive eyebrows that could convey a range of emotions, from determination to vulnerability. He moved with a relaxed, self-assured swagger, every step exuding a magnetic charisma that made it impossible not to be captivated by. From his leather jacket from his father to the worn-out boots, he was the embodiment of any girl's wet dream.

“Want a beer, Sweetheart,” he asked, that damned smirk plastered on his lips again.

“I’d say sure, but beer doesn’t do anything. It’d kinda be a waste to drink it,” she chuckled, hoping he hadn’t noticed the blush that had crept into her cheeks. She also hoped he hadn’t caught her staring at him, again.

He chuckled, “I’d offer you whiskey, but I don’t have any here. We can get some at the store down the block if you want.”

She tilted her head slightly, wondering if he had something else on his mind, but was too nervous to ask at the moment. “It’s okay. I’m pretty sure Bobby and Sam will be back soon.”

Dean leaned against the counter, sipping his beer, occasionally looking over at her, but hadn’t said anything. She could tell he was in his head, lost in his thoughts while still paying attention to everything. It was moments like this that his personality captivated her. He had the kindest heart and the sharpest tongue that cut with a pain that was capable of pushing someone away forever. Just as their eyes locked, Sam walked through the motel room door.

“You two okay?” he asked, concerned for his brother still.

“Yup. Hunky-dory,” Dean replied, sporting that playful smirk of his again.

Then, the three of them drove back out to the factory. Maria had been lost in her thoughts on the drive. Dean kept glancing at her in the rearview mirror, which his brother did notice, but neither of them said anything to her. They met back up with Bobby, and after Dean parked, he pulled four beers out of the green cooler, but Bobby declined. Maria leaned on the trunk of the Impala, thinking about the events that were about to play out soon when Sam pulled her from her thoughts.

“So, Maria, you comin' with us, or heading back with Bobby?” Sam asked, glancing over at her.

“I could do either, but it’d probably be more fun going with the two of you,” she chuckled playfully.

Dean raised an eyebrow, as did Bobby, “Bobby can’t be that boring,” Dean stated, that smile smirk on his face again, which made Maria roll her eyes, but in a playful way.

“Well, if I’m gonna be here, in this world, I might as well get to hunting,” she told him. 

The week she’d spent at Bobby’s while Dean and Sam were working out their issues, she had begun practicing with her abilities, feeling how her body had moved. It was almost muscle memory for her, which she found only slightly odd. 

She had also been having more dreams that consisted of memories of her life in this world, things that her character may have dreamt about in her fanfic. Maria was done questioning going back or even attempting to find a way back. 

She’d already decided she was going to stay, and no one was going to change her mind on the matter. This whole thing reminded her of a few different anime shows she had watched where a player got sucked into the game they had been playing.

Maria’s words made Dean chuckle, “Alright, Sweetheart, but you’re in the back seat.” 

She rolled her eyes before grabbing her bag from Bobby’s back seat and putting it in the Impala’s trunk. Then she hugged Bobby, promising to check in with him while she was out with the boys. Maria had gotten better about Dean’s scent not affecting her as badly as it had in the beginning. 

Her main reason for going with them was because she wanted to see the angels, knowing they were going to show up. She’d already told Bobby about the seals that were being broken, telling him what books were going to be the most helpful. Maria had also gotten more confident over that week, smiling as she walked over to Dean and Sam.

“Ready when you two are,” she told them with a smile before climbing in the back seat of the Impala, getting comfortable in the middle. 

Dean, Sam, and Bobby looked at each other, all exchanging looks while signing to each other.

Bobby: Keep an eye on her. I don’t know if she’s really ready for this yet.

Sam: We will, and we know. She seems eager, though.

Bobby: She’s been training the whole time the two of you were gone.

Dean: Really?

Bobby: Yeah, really. Just watch her. I worry.

Dean: She’s family Bobby, and our old Maria was a damn good hunter. We’ll keep an eye on her, we promise.

Sam: Yeah, Bobby, we promise.

They said their farewells before Bobby got in his car and drove off. Sam and Dean exchanged another look before they got in the Impala. She knew they had just over a week before Sam would find the next case. This was one of those timeframes the show hadn’t added for the fans to watch. She was curious as to what the two would end up doing.

She stared out the window at first, just watching the scenery pass by while Dean drove. Her mind wandered again, thinking about the future events and how pissed he was going to end up being with her.

“So, since you know the future, Sweetheart, what’s our next case?” Dean teased her playfully, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

Maria rolled her eyes, “You’ve got roughly ten days before the next one comes up.”

“Didn’t answer my question,” he sighed.

She clenched her jaw, still looking out the window, “It’s in Red Wing, Minnesota, okay? But nothing is gonna show up for a case till around the twenty-ninth.”

Sometimes, she hated her memory. She’d done so much research in her world on locations that weren’t easily found when it came to towns that weren’t listed on regular fan sites. This had been one of those that took far more research than she was willing to admit, putting together bits and pieces of information and asking numerous other fans on several chat sites.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Dean smirked, feeling accomplished that he got something out of her.

“So, what are we gonna do for just over a week?” Sam thought out loud.

They normally didn’t have time to themselves, and now they knew they had a week off of hunting monsters or dealing with a case. Maria was pretty sure what Dean would want to do, and she didn’t want to think about it.

“Well, I say we go find a nice small town near there, get a couple motel rooms, and relax,” Dean said happily.

As long as my room is on the other side of the building entirely, Maria thought to herself.

“Sure. It’s been a long while since we’ve had time to relax and do nothing,” Sam chuckled, looking forward to it now, too.

The drive wasn’t horribly long, just under half a day, but they got in sometime near three in the morning. When the brothers went in to get a couple of rooms, she followed them after grabbing her bag. Dean wanted her room next to theirs, but she asked for one as far away from theirs as possible, making sure it had two beds. She had a feeling Sam wasn’t going to want to spend much time in the room with Dean or would end up getting kicked out due to Dean needing some private time.

“What was that all about, Sweetheart?” Dean asked, trying to catch up with her, “Don’t want to share a room with me now?”

She rolled her eyes, “I know what “relaxing” means to you, and I’d prefer not to hear it.”

He smirked, which Sam saw, and he shook his head, knowing his brother was an idiot, having no clue why she really didn’t want to be near his room.

“Oh, and Sam, you’re welcome to bunk in my room, when Dean picks brings a chick back,” she added, making her way to her room on the far side of the motel building.

“Thanks,” Sam chuckled as he and Dean headed to their room.

Maria locked her door behind her before tossing her bag on the bed, grabbing some fresh clothes, and taking a shower. It wasn’t the best water pressure, but it did the job. She threw her hair up in a ponytail and went to the closest corner store, purchasing five bottles of whiskey. Her excuse to the cashier was that she was hosting a party, which he bought.

She hadn’t planned on drinking that night. She just wanted it on hand for the next day. So, when she got back, she tucked it away and out of sight, then crawled into bed. Her dreams were again of memories of this world and her character's past, things she’d never added to her fanfic.

It was a long week for her, and she mostly hid from Dean more than anything. Sam spent several nights out of the week in her room on the other bed, as Dean had done exactly what she knew he would. 

“How long are you gonna not tell him how you feel?” Sam asked on the next to last day.

“He’d laugh at me, Sam. I mean, seriously. A girl from a world where he’s just a fictional character, and my dumb ass had to go and fall in love with him,” she retorted with a humorless chuckle.

“He might take it as a compliment?” he replied, raising an eyebrow

“He’s also not the settling down type. He likes his freedom. Then there's the way he always worries about losing those he cares about most. That somehow being close to him puts them in danger,” she sighed, then groaned, “He’s so stupid in that though. Any person he’s helped is in danger if a monster wanted to get to him.”

“Looks like you know him pretty well,” Sam chuckled, realizing that just because she looked like “their” Maria, she was very different, in all the best ways.

She rubbed her face with her hands, mildly frustrated, “He’d think it was creepy. I could probably tell him what he was thinking most of the time.”

“Not sure I’d want to know what he was thinking most of the time,” he laughed.

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t know,” she sighed.

The alcohol was long gone at this point, and she knew they’d be heading out the following day for the next case. She again offered the other bed to Sam for the night in case Dean picked up yet another girl at the bar he’d been spending far too much time in, at least in her opinion. He did take her up on that offer when he saw Dean’s car gone, yet again, around dinner time.

Maria and Sam had pizza for dinner while watching a movie when they heard the Impala pull up at the motel. She didn’t even need to look out the window to know he had another girl with him. She could hear the woman giggling after the car doors closed.

“You’re only torturing yourself,” Sam sighed, hating seeing her sad like she was now.

“Not like I can just turn off my hearing,” she grumbled, turning up the TV.

She barely slept that night, unable to get him out of her head, so the following day, she looked as tired as she felt when she and Sam joined Dean at the Impala. Dean just watched her, attempting to read her expression, body language, and what she wasn’t saying.

“Never saw you at the bar. You into Sam now?” Dean asked, leaning against the driver’s door.

“He’s like a brother to me, and I’m not into family like that,” she snapped, not looking at him.

“Geeze, Sweetheart. Sounds like you just need to get laid,” he teased.

“Dude? Seriously?” Sam questioned him from the opposite side of the car.

“What?” he asked, acting innocent before sliding into the driver’s seat.

Maria ignored him on the drive, sitting behind Sam and keeping her gaze out the window. She was still fighting with herself on how to handle future events and deal with the man she loved, having no clue how she felt toward him. Knowing him the way she did, she knew how he was going to react to numerous things, especially since if she shared the information, he’d stop it. Her only thought was that she wanted the brothers to have their mom in their life again, and one family dinner that they never got. The one day where their dad got pulled from the past, but that was a great many years from now.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 8 - Coming Soon

Dimensional Shift Master List

Main Master List

Tag List: @nancymcl

[orangeaurora]

Steve Harrington | You Don’t Go to Parties

masterlist

Summary: After the night of Tina’s Halloween Party, Steve Harrington rarely stepped foot into parties. When you ask Steve to come to your 18th birthday party, he refuses, and you spend the whole night only thinking about him. (Kinda but kinda not based on 5 Seconds of Summer’s song ‘You Don’t Go to Parties”).

word count: 1994

warnings: cussing, mentions of drinking, mentions of robin hooking up, angst.

A/N: I have tried to post this FIC for DAYS! I’m hoping that today is my lucky day and it’ll finally post :( happy reading!

————————————————————————

You and Steve Harrington met your freshman year of high school and were inseparable until your Senior year rolled around. Steve became distant from you, it was like you were watching him become a whole new person from afar and it broke your heart. Was it Nancy Wheeler’s fault? No, no it couldn’t be. Nancy was too kind to change the Steve you used to know into the “King Steve” that now rules the school.

Though, this new Steve Harrington always intrigued you. He always seemed to have played the part of a mean popular kid, instead of actually being one. It was like he was an actor on stage whenever he was around his friends, begging for it to come to an end and that curtain call was near so he could be applauded for his performance. You could see right through his facade.

You watched the argument play out between Steve and Nancy the night of Halloween at Tina’s party. Her demanding to keep drinking as Steve begged her to stop. You watched them from a distance, just as you had been for the past year. You watched as Nancy’s girl next door white sweater got covered in red punch, as she ran for the bathroom upstairs with Steve following close behind. You didn’t eavesdrop, it was none of your business what they were going through.

When Steve walked out of the bathroom, you grabbed his wrist and Steve flinched at your touch.

“What the fuck? Can I help you?” Steve spat at you, he was drunk and confused. You could tell he wanted nothing to do with you, yet you made it a point that you wanted to talk to him, “Are you okay? I’ve never seen a tear leave King Steve’s eyes before.” Steve rolled his eyes at you, “That’s because you don’t actually know ‘King Steve’,” he scoffed and your face softened. He was right, you didn’t, not anymore. “Then show me.” Steve let out a chuckle, only allowing air to leave his nose as a slight smirk appeared on his face. He dragged you into a nearby room and sat you two down on the bed.

You were shocked to have been sitting so close to him. You could feel his breath on your face and the tears welling up in his eyes were shining in the dim lighting of the room. “Are- Are you okay, Steve?” Steve was looking into your eyes and you could see the conflict behind them. “Love sucks,” Steve started whispering, “Why does it hurt so bad?” Your heart clenched. Truth is, you loved Steve. Maybe you allowed him to distance himself from you when he started dating Nancy. It hurt too bad to watch him be with someone that wasn’t you. “Love doesn’t suck, Stevie. It- fuck, sometimes it has to hurt so that you know that love is still there. It’s what makes you…fight for it.” You pulled your hand up to Steve’s face and wiped the thick tear that was falling down his cheek, “What happened to us?” Steve said between his drunk whimpers.

You scoffed, “Love.”

It had been a few months since that night. Steve makes it a point to make eye contact with you in the halls, though never says anything to you. You want to say something. Maybe rekindle the friendship that you two once had, but you just couldn’t. You had hoped you would bump into Steve at another party. Where your drunk minds could spill everything that you wanted to say to one another. But Steve hasn’t been at one party since Halloween. You would sit on the couch in the living room of every house, foot tapping nervously on the floor awaiting the entrance of the King of Parties, and he would never show.

Your birthday was coming up and you hoped and hoped that Steve would show up to your birthday bash. You were popular enough for people to pass out fliers for your party, and with a little confidence, you walked up to Steve with the bright pink flier and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and his eyebrows furrowed, confused by your presence.

“H-hi.” You choked out, Steve looked at you then at the flier in your hand then back up to your eyes. “Hey.” That was all he said back. You cleared your throat as you handed him the flier, “I wanted to give this to you. My”-

“Your birthday is coming up, I know. You’ll be 18. Sick.” Steve interrupted you. You nodded your head hopeful that this means you two could spend time together at your party, but Steve retaliated by shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I-I can’t go.” Your stomach dropped. Why not? Steve started walking away from you and you scoffed. “You can’t whine about Halloween forever, ya know? Get over it, Harrington” You spat out at Steve. You had never talked to him like that. You watched as Steve stopped in his tracks, he stood there for a second as your heartbeat fastened, and you felt like you were going to pass out.

Steve didn’t know how to react. He fought with his inner conflict, trying to decide whether he should fight with you or not but he thought that the look on your face when he told you no was enough pain to leave you with, and he began to walk away again.

You felt enraged and for the first time ever, you felt like a heartless monster.

It was finally your birthday night, and you tried everything to forget about Steve not coming to your party. You were sitting on your vanity chair, applying a beautiful face of makeup as you could feel yourself holding back tears.

“I can see those tears brewing in your eyes from a mile away, you better stop.” You heard come from behind you when you saw your best friend Robin walk into the room with a bouquet of flowers. “Happy Birthday my sweet friend,” Robin said as she came and hugged you from behind in your chair.

This allowed you to take your mind off of Steve. You met Robin not too long ago in your Math class. She was a year below you and really was a genius, though she would never admit that. Robin and you got close because she was open with you about how much she didn’t like Steve, and your friendship brewed over late-night talks about the boy. You told her everything. How close you were and how you think you were in love with him. She would always make disgusted faces at you because of it, but she was there for you nonetheless.

“If you are crying over Harrington I’m going to shove these flowers right up your a-” You stopped her before she could continue. “Robin, please, I don’t cry over that boy anymore. I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed about tonight.” You lied right through your teeth, though it was a good enough one for your friend to believe you. She sighed and sat down on the edge of your bed. “There is nothing to worry about, Y/N. You look great and you’re going to have an amazing time tonight, okay?” You nodded your head at her, stood up, and was ready to take on the night.

Robin was right, you were having a great time. That was until 3 a.m rolled around and everyone was still partying. You were exhausted and no longer drunk. You sprawled out on your couch and watched as everyone continued dancing, partying, and playing games. You caught a glimpse of Robin in the hallway wobbling around, trying her hardest to dance with a girl that she met that night, and smiled. Suddenly, that smile started to fade as you wished a certain someone was there so you could be drunkenly dancing with them. His deep, caramelly brown eyes looking down at you as his soft pink lips sing along to the song playing. You just wanted Steve. You continued laying there, hoping for a miracle. You watched the door, imagining that Steve would be walking in at any moment. This is stupid, you thought to yourself. You knew Steve didn’t go to parties anymore, why would he miraculously show up to yours?

You gave up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As you turned on the facet, you couldn’t even hear the water running because of an uproar that started happening in your living room. People were cheering and hollering, even clapping. They must have finally finished that game of beer pong, you thought and sighed as you leaned up against the counter to take a sip of your water.

You could see your best friend trying her hardest to make her way toward you, she had the biggest smile on her face. You were expecting her to tell you she just had the best hookup of her life or something, but instead, Robin tripped over her words and said, “Come here, you have to see this!” She grabbed your hand and dragged you into the living room. There was a huge crowd in there and you could hear people saying “Steve?”, within it. You thought that you were hallucinating until you finally made it through and saw Steve playing the endless game of beer pong. You stood there in shock until Steve turned around. He smiled at you and looked back at his beer pong teammates, “Sorry guys, I have some business to take care of.” He said and he started walking toward you, extending his hand out for you to take. You hesitated at first but felt Robin nudge you. If she approved, then you definitely did, so, you took Steve’s hand as he dragged you down to your basement, giggling like a little girl.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned through laughter. He shrugged his shoulders and had a slight smirk on his face, “Couldn’t miss my sweet girl’s birthday could I?” Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname that Steve had always used for you. You hadn’t heard it in a while. This moment felt like a fever dream, you were so happy to see Steve that you almost forgot how late it was.

“Quite a late arrival don’t you think?” Your smile faded a little, and Steve noticed this. He sighed and grabbed your arms, “I know, I know. To be honest, I stared at that little flier you gave me all night, deciding whether or not to come. I decided it would be better to show up late than not show up at all.” You nodded, agreeing that it was indeed better.

“Why have you disappeared, Stevie? I thought that partying was your thing.” He tilted his head up and stared at the ceiling then back down at you, “Heartbreak does that to a person, Y/N.” Heartbreak. That’s when you realized. Nancy broke Steve’s heart the night of Halloween. You hadn’t seen them together since that night and the whole school was talking about Nancy always being in Jonathan Byer’s car. You wished you could’ve been there for Steve the past few months and didn’t know what to say. You just hugged him, the tightest hug you could give. His embrace felt like a warm blanket. He grabbed your head and rubbed his hands through your hair, he missed your touch. “I’m sorry.” You said into his chest. He let out a chuckle. “Hey, sometimes love has to hurt,” He copied your words from the night of Halloween. You removed your head from his chest and looked up at him as he cupped your cheek. “But ours doesn’t.” And with that, he pulled you to his face and kissed your lips as softly as he could, cherishing the moment. When he pulled away, he looked into your eyes, and whispered, “Happy birthday, sweet girl.”

[thedarkestgreys]

tagged by both @stannisfactions and @theangrypomeranian 🖤🖤 thank you friends!

How many works do you have on AO3?

67 but something new is popping up for halloween

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

so it says 976,114 but 266,429 of those words are from @baratheonbrotherspresent group written co-op fics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Fexi/Euphoria right now. but i've also written fics for ASOIAF/GoT, Eternals, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, and Teen Wolf over the last near decade.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

your violent overnight rush (fexi) stages (jonsa) and i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) (drukkari) slow hands (drukkari) and then a fic that i currently have hidden 😅

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! even if it's a quick TYSM FOR READING. i always appreciate when readers take the time to leave a comment, and i want to show my love back.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think i've written anything with an angsty ending tbh. yes, lots of angst in various fics, but i'm a happy ending girlie through and through.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

as stated above, im a happy ending girlie. but maybe my heart's gone double time if i had to choose.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i haven't in a long time, but in the past yeah. like drove me away from a ship and shut down my interest in writing for like a solid year. it wasn't even about the writing, it was about the plot (a Sweet Home Alabama AU) and the comments were unnecessary (go read the wiki on the movie yall its not hard) and it just sucked lol. that was a hot minute ago though. we're good now.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

hahahaha do i write smut???? i have an internal checklist of all the smutty things i haven't written yet that i want to give a go, so you could say that. (note: daddy kink is off the list and never to be seen from me again)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i do not! but i like to write a lot of AU's of different media.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know of, no i haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had some offers in the past to have things translated back in the GoT days but i never gave the okay on it simply because it was a fic i never completed (ya girl used to get in over her head)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

technically the BBP fics are cowritten but we all did our own chapters following a basic outline of plot/storylines and worked around what other authors were posting. it was chaos and hilarious and the most fun i've ever had

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

to write for? i'd have to say it's fexi, they unlocked a new level in my brain as an author. shout out to my favorite non-canon little crackship that could podrya though - i'll love you forever. to read? this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child. i've read so many incredible fics across a ton of different fandoms. but god i guess the ones i still seek out frequently is dasey and dramione. wouldn't say i have a favorite though?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i really want to finish but the wolves came and went and i think i'm sitting on at least two chapters completed for it right now lol someday i'll sit down and finish writing the whole thing and get it posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

plotting. world building. exposition. keeping characters in character. i've been told i'm good at writing big emotions too?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i've improved greatly but i still struggle with dialogue. 🙃

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

okay so. when i was writing slow hands as i got further into the story i really started describing the actual sign language being used by makkari and druig. hours of watching asl videos to pick out different words or phrases to translate. it was fun and it was hard work and i ended up with a whole new appreciation for asl. but it also felt important to really dig into describing the asl and i'm glad i did it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ... and i'm still bitter about the cancelled reboot.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

taking yvor out of the equation: my fexi warm bodies zombie au sharing different heartbeats mostly i go back and read it and go "wait i wrote this?" because i don't do zombies at all lol. i'm just very proud of it.

tagging: @sarahcakes613 @muserepeats @calculated2stagger @iwantthemtostay and @idontneedtobeforgiven

[theredcapeofk]

20 Questions

Thank you @silv3reyedstranger  for tagging me! Sorry for the delay, I needed to finish my Halloween fic first

How many works do you have on AO3?

22 with 4 still ongoing. This also includes 9 artworks (aside from the 6 in my illustrated fic)

2. What’s you total AO3 count?

177,544 words. Wow! I didn’t expect this much. Cool 🙂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supercorp

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My Eyes are up Here

Change my Direction

Gifts (My first posted Supergirl fic <3 )

It’s a Super Life

The Five Senses of Affection (I plan to update this one soon ;) )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Always. Sometimes it’s hard to not spoil the rest of the fic when I answer questions, but I love it when you guys ask questions. I respond to comments because I like to exchange thoughts with people who comment, or simply thank people who took the time to write something.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

@silv3reyedstranger I don’t like to copy but your answer is exactly what I think, so I’m mostly gonna keep what you said.

I'm really not the biggest fan of angsty endings (because it makes me sad), so I don't write them. I'd much prefer piling on the angst throughout and giving them a happy ending. There's too much sadness and grief in the world already, I feel like everyone should get a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don’t know, they all end well, but since I need to choose one I'd say Don’t Leave Me because of what happens in the fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did, on Change my Direction a few chapters ago (which is basically a year and a half ago.). People(who had never commented before on this fic) had a lot to say about how I handled a specific chapter.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes I do (I think most of my stuff is rated E on Ao3 lol). I’d say mostly fluff. And…what would you call Kara and Lena have been longing for each other for years and finally decide to…? 

I wrote more kinky stuff I haven’t posted yet. There’s angry sex in a fic I’m working on

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I did. Harry Potter and Charmed, City Hunter and Cat’s eyes (1980s and early 1990s mangas by the same author). I used to draw crossovers a lot which was a lot easier than trying to figure out how some characters could meet. I don’t think any of my written crossovers were too far-fetched, but my art on the other hand…I had the Golden trio from Harry Potter meet Naruto characters, and Outfit exchanges(with Naruto and other mangas) a few times in my art.

“Recently” I had Kate Kane and her step-sister visit Kara and Lena in Suddenly I’m in too deep. And I will write crossovers again with other characters from the Arrowverse

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No one’s ever asked, so not that I know of. I’ve tried translating my own fics once upon a time, but what a hassle lol. Although that was back when I was writing in French so translating to English was harder (and my English was not what it is today), maybe it would be easier to translate my current fics in French, but I don’t really see the point lol

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes 2 with @lenaralanvers. One is Let’s let go of our Broken Hearts (she did the actual writing but we took decisions together) and the second we haven’t posted yet.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

My OTP? I don’t know. I’ve loved all my ships with passion, still do. I think RonMione, Linzin, Korrasami and of course Supercorp will always hold a very special place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I hope I’ll be able to finish all of my Supercorp ones in any shape or form. Sometimes I just write down a short idea and it turns into a multi chapter fic. Or sometimes I write something I think could be huge, but it turns out to be a few paragraphs and it’s just as finished as the fics I post online. 

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m not good at knowing what I’m good at lol. I think I’m good with fluff scenes and how people react with their senses (sight, touch etc)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. Which is all the more frustrating because I usually get a very precise picture in my head but I can rarely show it with words.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don’t write entire dialogues in another language, just a few foreign sentences or words here and there. I like to keep it organic for the reader and this method is easier when it comes to including translation

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I was desperately waiting for Book 5, and after theorizing for a while about serious plot points, one day I sat down to write goofy interviews given by the Golden trio to the Daily Prophet. The funny thing is, fanfiction came naturally to me, and I’m not sure I even knew the name of what I was writing then.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh that’s a tough one, because favorites tend to change. I can list a few that I love in chronological order (each one of these marked a milestone of some kind in my writing journey): 

Il était une fois à Shinjuku (the City Hunter and Cat’s eye crossover), 

A post Book 1 Korrasami and Borra fic (that I never posted anywhere so I never bothered to properly name it XD), 

My eyes are up Here 

The Five Senses of Affection 

and Don’t Leave me

tagging a couple of people if ya’ll wanna take part! @spaceman-earthgirl @lenaralanvers @chaotic-super @inkedroplets @guessimreallyhere

[willkimurashat]

2022 Fics in Review

Thank you so much for tagging me @rebelrayne !!! I only started writing this year, as my new-found hobby, and I actually found it quite fun and therapeutic :) that being said, I don’t have a lot to share, but it’s still cool to look back on it lol!

In 2022 I…

…wrote the following one-shots:

First Impressions Don’t Have to Decide Everything, Right?

MC x Will, 4k+ words

My first ever fic!! It will always hold a special place in my heart, even though I’m kinda scared to reread it and feel incredibly cringy🙈

The Answer Was Simple

MC x Suresh, 2.3k+ words, Lie detector prompt

I’m really proud of this one actually. I wrote it in one sitting and I was surprisingly satisfied with how it came out:) still can’t believe all the love I got for it here on tumblr!

Snog, Marry, Die

Halloween-themed, 7k+ words, tw: blood, violence, murder, death

I was just rereading it yesterday, and I still think it came out so fun lol! Every time I read the title, makes me feel like I was such a genius for coming up with that pun lmao, like, I am wayyy too proud of that title haha😂

…started the following multi-chaptered wips:

Stargazing

MC x Will, s4 rewrite, 61.6k+ words

Ah, the fic that kinda started it all:) It was such an ambitious plan, and I think it’s only now hit me, just how ambitious it really is to do a whole season rewrite lol… I hate how slow I am with writing it, but I love writing it so much nonetheless - it’s my baby!

An Unnamed College AU

Started writing this back in the summer, I haven’t touched it in months, but I haven’t given up on it yet either. I just didn’t think the plot fully through before starting it lol! Maybe I will get back to it, who’s to say?

An Unnamed Xmas fic

Something I started, but lost motivation and didn’t finish… whoopsie daisy👀 maybe next year?

An Unnamed Romcom-Inspired fic

I am actually super excited about this! The idea has been occupying my mind for a few weeks now:) I think this one’s kinda self-indulgent, but my bday is coming up in 1.5 months, so I’m allowing it lol😅 no, but I think it’s actually gonna be really fun, and I hope you guys think so too! Stay tuned!

…reached the following milestones:

Started writing! I mean, it’s a big deal because it got me through a lot actually, as this year was absolutely fucked.

100 kudos across all of my fics on ao3! Like, WHAT??? HOWWWW THANK YOUUUU

1301 hits across all of my fics on ao3! Again, HOWWW I LOVE YOU ALL

Collectively wrote 71,089 words across the fics officially posted to ao3! I didn’t know I could do that wtf!!!

Stargazing currently sits at about 61k words, which is approximately 122 A4 pages, which is also about the same as the word count of Carrie by Stephen King! (I never read it, but it’s still super freaking impressive!!)

And let me be sappy for a moment lol:) After years of stalking the tumblr litg tag, I finally caved in and made myself a sideblog too lol! I had a very very shitty year, but this place has been my safe space. I am so grateful I got to know so many of you - you are all so wonderful and funny and talented and inspiring! I’m not usually a hug person, but I am squeezing you all so tight right now❤️ thank you for being here and ranting/venting/crying/laughing with me, I love you all!❤️❤️❤️

Tagging: I feel like at this point everyone’s done it, but if you haven’t and you want to - I’m tagging you! I am so so proud of all of you for all the hard work you’ve done this year!!

Happy New Year, my lovely friends! Wishing you all peace, kindness, and lots of wonderful moments in 2023! I hope it treats you well ❤️❤️❤️

[phantom-does-a-thing]

for the ask game: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30 :)

ok bestie

How many words have you written this year? 537,776

How many works did you publish this year? 143

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? maybe "It wont be the same when my favorite person leaves" but idk... I worked REALLY hard on that fic and it was really cathartic to see an idea that I have been plagued with for months finally come to fruition in a way that I really enjoyed I think. The first version of that fic I wrote was really discouraging because I really hated it but I like the version I posted. Also "Death, suits you dear sir" that one was just really enjoyable to write and I enjoyed the process of it. I think I would've wanted it to be a little scarier but I like the tone I put and I like how I wrote it. I can say I'm proud of that one. Lastly "I can't escape my shadow" is very near and dear to my heart, it's reminiscent of my old writing and It was really fun to write more horror for the first time in however long.

What work of yours has the most hits? "I want a nice soft place to land I want to lie down forever" which makes sense since its one of my owl house fanfics and thats a pretty popular fandom. But it also really surprises me that it's my most popular fic this year bc like... I really hated that fic when I wrote it like, I had the idea in my head and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to at all. The words fought me and I was SO unhappy with it and I still reckon I could do it better. But it's my most popular fic this year I guess.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Ok so there might be a lot of recent fics bc like I wrote a lot this year but honestly? "Words I don't say" I did not expect a lot of feedback and it was a little bit of a shot in the dark being the first fic I wrote for that campaign. I think I'm noticing a pattern of the ones that I am insecure about are usually received the best

Favorite title you used "Icarus and melted wax" you know how much I love Icarus references

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? I think I literally just threw out the sheets of paper I used to collect this data when I cleaned my room a bit ago. Crap. I think it was either Alec Benjamin or Tamino

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Oh thats a good question oh god how do I find this out easily without having to collect the data myself. Probably Albatrio bc I think I have the most riptide fics. Wait I think I figured it out if this is accurate data its a tie between Jay and Gillion or or Chip and Jay

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Dakota and William I think (or PolyPD)

What work was the quickest to write? Oh god I think I have several like 2k fics I wrote in like an hour I absolutely am NOT going to remember which ones. Uh probably "You're my brother and I love you that's the truth" I wrote and posted that one in school. I don't know when I wrote it during the day but it took like an hour...

What work took you the longest to write? The unfinished halloween fic anyway probably "A glimpse in time" it's my longest fic this year and I'm pretty sure it took me a REALLY long time tbh.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? heavy sigh. I doubt it's going to be that many because that implies that it's something I intend to finish and not something I gave up writing. Probably only one that I intend on finishing but if I count ideas that I still want to elaborate on: 3

What’s your longest work of the year? A glimpse of time linked above, that fic possessed me so hard I do not even understand how. I wrote like 6k exposition for it.

What’s your shortest work of the year? OH that's actually a really good question I never actually like... thought about. "sandstorms" at 1,430 words. I always forget I wrote legend of zelda fic, one of those i need to revise and fix bc the tense makes me so unreasinably mad

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? weeping sobbing shaking crying I don't wanna talk about it I don't wanna talk about the halloween fic I'm crying and shaking and sobbing. Oh also the two unfinished fluff prompt asks that I do still intend on writing.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Probably "I wrote this instead of sleeping" only 92 of my 411 fics are NOT tagged with that, Phantom does NOT get sleep actually. In second place is "fluff"

Your favorite character to write this year?A William wisp <33333333333 but Vyn is fun to write too bc I make him a creature.

you didnt put 18 so im not answering that one lol

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Kian Rolan and Rand I need to write more with them I NEED to write more bitb fics lest it drives me insane.

Which work of yours have you reread the most? Good question, I honestly usually reread like the most recent stuff I post, I always reread my fics in the morning after I post them to look at them with new eyes and see how I feel about them then. This one is gonna be a list hold on "I'm a wreck when I'm without you" "The birds who sing in the dead of night" "Until you're in my arms again" I have no idea what others, that's getting a bit older in my fic sooo, I don't usually go that far down.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 16,395

Which work has the most comments? "I want a nice soft place to land I want to lie down forever" Linked above

Did you do any collaborative works this year? uh no? Is that working w ith another person to write a fic, I assume that's what it is and no. Other than the fact that I bounce ideas or plan a good bit of my fics now with you sami

Did you write any gifts this year? No but I may or may not have been supposed to and have not written that yet. This year will be me writing my first gift I feel it.

Did you receive any gifts this year? Two!!! "Struck by lightning" by Nyxthedragon25 and "Lost dog" by Periperson both absolutely lovely fics and everyone should go read them absolutely

What’s your most common category? Hold on what are the categories... oh I don't use those anymore so I can't answer something with that. I very rarely use slash tags I am absolutely not comfortable enough to use those tags.

What do you listen to while writing? Instrumental music or classical music probably.

Favorite work you wrote this year? I have literally no idea tbh but I really like "Here's a health to the company" that one's just a really nice fic, I might add a bonus to it sometimes this year where I add ashe into it which is what I originally wanted to do when I wrote it but I didn't know anything about Ashe enough to be able to write him. But like I had and have an idea of what I could do for him in that 5+1 situation.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? "The words should have been a weight lifted off her shoulders. It should have been relieving to get it off her chest, to tell the big secret that she had been holding close to her heart for so long.

That’s what she had been told. That it was a relief to finally tell the truth.

Whoever said that was a liar through and through."

From "I cry hard because I have died, and you're alive" I'm actually surprised I wrote that in 2022... just barely but it I thought for sure it was gonna be 2021 anyway that line has always stuck out to me I think. There are probably better lines and stuff I've written recently but that one just sticks out to me, I think it's really cool.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? I think just mostly all the fics I managed to write, all the support I've had and I think the friends that I have made. It's really just... shocking to me that people enjoy my fics, a lot of people comment about seeing me upload in their inbox implying that they have notifications on for me and that's just... really wild to me. I can't really comprehend the support and the love people have for my writing, it feels unreal I think. I don't understand it at all haha, I'm just here writing silly things and people actually like it.

I think also my biggest surprise is my growth and how much Jrwi put me in a chokehold haha I didn't expect to write this much this year and I think I'm really happy with where I am with my writing. This year has been amazing and I'm so proud of myself for everything I've done and I'm so glad to have met a ton of amazing people in this fandom and to actually interact and join the community in whatever way I can.

Side note: I'm actually really proud of myself for actually like trying to put myself out there a little more. I hate making fandom posts because it makes me really nervous, but I think that I've gotten over that fear and I've tried to interact more with some people. I've made some great friends and some great mutuals and I'm really happy with that. It's been an amazing year so thank you all.

[jkrockin]

ao3 wrapped ALL BITCH

oh my friend, you are a reliable source of "wanting to know shit", as always.

How many words have you written this year?

I have put 48,376 words on AO3! How many have I written? Trickier to calculate, but there’s about 50k in my mountain of drafts, approximately 30k of which I wrote this year but haven’t finished.

How many works did you publish this year?

Nine!

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Fairly recent, but I’m really happy with the strangerthings werewolf thing I turned out for a Halloween exchange.

What work of yours has the most hits?

From 2022, it’s the Steve/Eddie thing where they go to a Judas Priest show.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

I’m always a little surprised when stuff gets feedback at all, since I loathe doing promo and that’s basically how you get words in front of eyeballs, but I was delighted with how my Fitzjames/Goodsir fic about jerking off was received.

Favorite title you used

“heart into a glacier”. What better choice is there for a double drabble about a hairy old man confronting the inevitability of death in the ice than Kim Petras lyrics?

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I exclusively use song lyrics (or poetry), and the only artist I used twice was Paul Kelly (on my werewolf fics), so I guess him!

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

It’s Steve/Eddie strangerthings, at a current total of 4 fics!

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Shocked and appalled to report that I only wrote ONE Crozier/Fitzjames fic this year, but I think it’s still them.

What work was the quickest to write?

Also “heart into a glacier”, which I knocked out in about three hours (that’s how long it usually takes me to write 200 words tbh)

What work took you the longest to write?

This year's Dear God, Jenn, Speed Up award goes to “a sense cannot be described” (the Fitzjames/Goodsir jerkoff fic), which according to my tracking spreadsheet I started writing in December 2020 and finished in February 2022.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Let’s consult the tracking spreadsheet again! In the in-progress tabs, there are 24 WIPs, though one of those is for an exchange due later this month.

What’s your longest work of the year?

Judas Priest thing ("you gotta get a reaction") again!

What’s your shortest work of the year?

“heart into a glacier” again!

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

This is the same question as question 12.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

“Anal Sex”! 🎉

Your favorite character to write this year?

It’s my BOYYYYYYY Eddie Munson, blorbo of my heart (or at least of my year, since, like, April)

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Annoyingly I do struggle a bit with my other boyyyyy Steve Harrington’s voice. This is annoying because I keep having ideas where he’s the best POV character, and a witch cursed me to only write in close third-person single POV.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

*glances at my 12 Steve/Eddie WIPs* uh.

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I actually don’t re-read my own work much, though I have no issue with those who do. Probably “you gotta get a reaction” again, since I broke my own rules and started posting before I was done writing, and I had to re-read the first chapter to get back into the flow.

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

2,329.

Which work has the most comments?

Also “you gotta get a reaction”.

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Nope! I still have yet to actually collaborate on something and end up finishing it.

Did you write any gifts this year?

I only did two exchanges this year— the Fruity Four Cocktail Hour discord’s Halloween mixer (the werewolf thing) and Fall Fitzier exchange (this coworkers-who-hate-each-other on a blind date thing https://archiveofourown.org/works/43300659 ), and I guess you could count heart into a glacier again as a gift for TUUNBAQ WITH A GUN.

Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! I thoroughly enjoyed my monster-hunter gift from Halloween, and the incomparable Kit wrote me this excellent Arctic no-nut November fic for Fitziermas!

What’s your most common category?

M/M. Writing women without getting in my fat dyke feelings is hard.

What do you listen to while writing?

I listen to a lot of synthwave and study beats when I’m trying to concentrate. Timecop1983, Mort Garson, Extrawelt, Kavinsky, Louie Zong, Dance With the Dead, kind of thing.

Favorite work you wrote this year?

Uhhhhhhh this is always a toughie, I like everything I wrote! I wouldn’t have shown them to anyone else if I didn’t! I’m going to give it to my Fall Fitzier Exchange work, “pass a lucky penny by” (link at no. 24) which I struggled with but ended up happy with.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I said a whole wanky thing about taking stuff out of context earlier but I quite liked this opening paragraph, from the Little/Crozier dream sex thing from Rarepair Week:

Most of Edward’s dreams, when he remembers them, are hazy, more sound and colour than anything else. Sometimes he has place-dreams of his parent’s house, searching cellar to attic for the sounds of his mother or his sisters’ voices, always a room away; sometimes, he dreams of being back aboard ships he had served on, adrift on a featureless imaginary sea. 

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

How fast I can get blorbo brainworms, I think? I’d started writing Eddie stuff like halfway through watching s4 and had a pile of concepts together by the time part 2 dropped, and my Spotify is just RUINED with 80’s metal.

[writerobscura]

Read full post under the cut:

October is my favorite month for many reasons. One, I’m Polish. Two, I’m a Halloween fanatic. Three, autumn is glorious—I could go on.

I’ve tapped out 29 chapters of the TL&TO, and I’m still having fun with it. I think that might be a new record. Only nine chapters are edited to capacity (I won’t touch them again), but what a great high it is to keep creative focus and stay on a production track.

My numbers (included are numbers from syndicated platforms):

Bear House: 213 re-subscribed, with 194 returning every update. Tapas: 47 Subscribers with 8 returning every update. Archive of Our Own: 6 Bookmarks with 12 returning every update. Pixiv: 7 Bookmarks with 7 returning every update.

Bear House: Back in August, I purged most subscribers to ascertain who actually reads, as opposed to bot accounts skirting WordPress security and ninja bloggers seeking hits with comments and ‘likes, ‘ none of which are visible on my posts. Engagement with the work (and not the site itself) is my goal for this web serial, and many subscribers attached to Femitokon weren’t reading TL&TO.

Overall, I was highly satisfied with how many people came back. Since redesigning the site with the ‘Fictioneer’ theme, which looks and feels like an eReader (readers can choose text size, line width, fonts, etc.), I’ve been getting about 1-2 new subscribers a month.

I don’t promote much on the other platforms. I announce chapter updates on Insta, Tumblr, and Facebook with a Linktree link, and I tap out the occasional post at the Tapas Forums. I’m not happy with the Tapas numbers because most are clearly reciprocity subs from other writers who are not interested in reading my series.

I couldn’t understand why they would do this until I learned that Tapas doesn’t allow creators to earn ‘ink’ until they reach a certain number of subscribers + likes. Ouch. I continue posting there because I sub to a few series and read when possible – but it’s no longer my priority.

My impetus for syndicating at Tapas when I began writing TL&TO was the opportunity to purchase promotional space from them for my series. I planned to get about fifteen chapters in before ‘advertising,’ but Tapas did away with this feature about four months into my posting there.

AO3 completely caught me off guard. My fanfic always did well there because it’s AO3, but posting original work and expecting readers is like watching hair grow – or so I thought. Femitokon bombed there – ZILCH – no readers, but TL&TO boasts twelve regular readers, and my Kudos counts are ridiculously high for what is an original work. The AO3.gay mirror brings a large percentage of those numbers, and I hope it keeps growing.

Pixiv, like AO3, is a haven for fanfic and fan art, so my expectations remain grounded. I’m chuffed that seven English-reading users return every update, though, like many Tapas readers my story attracts, they’re the sort that doesn’t ‘HEART’ chapters as proof they’ve read it.

Bear House gets much more traffic with the Fictioneer theme, and my focus in the future is promoting TL&TO there over the syndicated platforms. Comments and conversations are private by choice of the commenter (I love that!), and reader engagement has so far been positive for me.

I still get the occasional ‘If you make this into a comic, I will read it.’ Ugh. My comics days are over because too much attention from strangers brings out the worst in me.

Would I be open to it? Sure, but would I take part in promoting it? NOPE. I learned my lesson from the past – too much attention brings out my toxic side. If you’re an artist who wants to turn TL&TO into something sequential, have at it. Just mention my name in passing, and keep me credited as the writer – anyone gives you crap about it, direct them here.

[sc0tters]

Lucky Day | Luke Hughes

summary: the day is here, you are finally faced by Luke and with that you need to talk to him.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing?

word count: 3.01k

authors note: I really tried to get this one out before the new year because I am in love with this whole concept! It is one of my favourites I swear and I think Jack and Quinn might be getting their bsf pairings too soon.

part one

The span of over eight months with no Luke was tough on you.

Everyone spoke about, from your professors to yours friends, even to the random girls on campus who thought they actually had a chance with him. But it’s not like you could fault the last group, you shared something in common.

Right before the summer started you called Dylan as you begged him for help, he might have been Luke’s friend first. Yet you were one person he always had a soft spot for.

You paced around your messy room as you waited for his arrival “y/n?” Dylan called out as he knocked on your door. Your eyes were red and your skin looked tired “could you give these to him for me?” The question was innocent and small as you sent him a smile praying he’d say yes.

Dylan would never mention it to you out of respect for his best friend but Luke was doing horribly too. He occupied himself so much with hockey that you only came into his mind when he was sleeping. The confides of the room you had never seen was where you would want him the most “are you sure you want to do this?” Dylan sighed seeing the box full of memories that you held with Luke.

From hoodies to pictures to birthday gifts, everything that held some kind of memory to you about Luke was in that box “Luke made it clear he doesn’t want me in his life anymore.” You blocked his number when he unfollowed you on instagram. It might have been petty but you were still processing the hurt you felt by him leaving without a mere mutter of a word.

The boy placed his hand on your shoulder as he tried to comfortingly rub it “I’ll make sure he gets the stuff.” He nodded letting out a sigh as he didn’t want to be the one to send that heartbreaking blow to Luke’s heart.

When you declined Jacks invite to the lake house it took everyone by surprise, they thought that something was off between you and Luke. Yet when you officially said that your presence would be found elsewhere it made everyone realise that the whatever went on between you and Luke was worse than anyone could have ever imagined. It worried the older Hughes boys by how Luke would grow numb at the mere mention of your name.

It was like you two had grown apart in worse ways than anyone could have predicted. The pains of watching each other seemingly thrive whilst you barely survived was killing you both. Luke didn’t know what to do when he stared at the box of stuff you sent with Dylan. Was he meant to reciprocate the action? Give you back everything he of yours that he had kept from the letters to the friendship bracelet you gave him when you were six?

What honestly felt worse was that Luke knew he made the right choice of pushing himself out of your life when he would ass the bright and happy updates from your Instagram feed. It held consistent images of you laughing with your girlfriends as you all seemed to become avid fans of football. Luke studied each image posted and in the middle of October he finally noticed it. In the fifth image of the carousel you were in a umich hockey jersey.

It felt like a personal soft launch that only the most attentive person would notice until you finally posted your Halloween special. The picture had you as a hockey player and Ethan as a Stanley Cup. What people lacked from the images alone was context, Ethan wanted you two to be a race car driver and their mechanic. Thus a bet ensued and you made sure you won.

Whilst your feelings towards Ethan hadn’t changed, he was your friend, your confidant. And honestly the one person you were able to full let your tears flow whenever someone reminded you of Luke. Because you had to learn the hard way that when Luke left, his spirit didn’t leave Michigan. Everywhere you would look the scars of old memories would come back to haunt you as when you listened hard enough sometimes you’d even hear the sound of his laughter. It would echo in your ears to the point where you would end up frozen and unable to talk to anyone.

The boys had to offer you a ticket to the Red Wings matchup with the Devils, they knew Luke would have been heartbroken if they didn’t. But that didn’t mean that they weren’t surprised when you said no making up the lousy excuse of wanting to spend the break with your mom who was in town. The thought of you not being at the game wasn’t something that even crossed his mind. Still when all of the seats he reserved were full and none of them were by you, it only added to the blow that was delivered by the shutout loss.

But of course life wasn’t going to be that easy for you to avoid him, and you were foolish to assume you could have gone the break without seeing him “stop fiddling with your dress.” Your mom mumbled as she elbowed you in an attempt to get you to listen “Will one of you get the door!” Ellen pleaded as she was in the kitchen.

The door swung open as Luke stood there looking at your both. He thought you would be there but after last night he refused to let his holes disappoint him “hey Luke.” Your mom smiled going to hug the boy as she gushed about how so much had changed since she last saw him “y/n don’t you have anything to say to him.” She noticed you remained silent as you almost didn’t believe that he was in front of you.

Luckily for you Jack ended up seeing you stood there and came to save you “missed you last night!” His voice broke your gaze as you turned your attention to the middle Hughes “wanted a quiet night.” You sighed opening your arms as Jack pulled you into a hug “a quiet night?” He repeated your words with a laugh “who are you and what you done with y/n.” As a kid no matter how hard people tried they could not get you to shut up so the idea of you and silence didn’t mix well for Jack. Luke stood there as he rolled his eyes not enjoying seeing you with his brother “there you are!” Ellen cheered as she saw your mom’s famous bread rolls in her hand. This caused the entire ground to move inside.

You hated how the next thirty minutes came with not a word from Luke, but you hated how you spent more of your time staring at him. You couldn’t help but notice how good his hair looked and even with sleep deprived eyes he was still clearly the hottest man to you “so y/n you got a boyfriend?” Jim’s words had your cheeks growing warm. It was as though you were a child who got caught in the middle of a crush that was correctly guessed “nobody for me.” You shook your head as you tucked your hair behind your ear.

Ellen had to admit that it surprised her how a pretty girl like you hadn’t found anyone during your time in university “not even Ethan.” Were the first words that Luke said to you the entire night. Of course your only response was the simple roll of your eyes as Quinn practically dragged his younger brother out of there “you promised you would behave.” Quinn swore he could have hit his brother.

Even as your stomach did knots you didn’t let your mind drift to Luke, even if his cologne was the only one your nose could pick up on as it differentiated the oak musk from the various other smells that came from a kitchen on thanksgiving “but I hear that you’ve applied for an internship with the Tigers!” Whilst you were never one for baseball, with a degree in sports science you were not in the position to complain.

Luke let his eyes go wide as the dream always went him playing in the NHL and you reporting on it “why didn’t you tell Luke, honey?” Your mom was quick to question as you never told her about what happened. Both you and Luke were smart enough to know that if you considered telling your moms about what went on then it would have been quashed in minutes. The two ladies never let you two fight and that was why not talking to Luke was such a shock to your system “wanted it to be a surprise.” You lied trying to avoid the hurt look that Luke sent you.

He knew it was stupid and that he shouldn’t have cared about what went on in your life anymore but still Luke wasn’t prepared for how it would feel losing you fully “say something you idiot.” Quinn grumbled into Luke’s ear as he elbowed his brothers rib cage trying to get him to talk “feel sorry for the Tigers.” His look was cold as he crossed his arms with a shrug.

Hurt plastered your face as you didn’t know how to react “Luke!” Ellen went to apologise but you cut her off “better than going to the devs.” It was now your mom’s turn to call you out “y/n!” Even Jack had an assumption that something happened between you both but he never truly knew it “at least I’m not in love with me.” Luke smirked as he raised his hand to his lips “oh wait but you are.” In that moment you swore the world stopped.

Your cheeks turned red as everyone stopped to stare at you “Ellen you have anything else that needs to go onto the table?” You chewed at your cheek praying that she’d hear your call “let me help you with it.” Quinn nodded as he sent you a sorry smile taking one of the plates that Ellen had pointed to.

As the two of you left the kitchen sounds of Ellen berating her son echoed off of the walls and you couldn’t help but let out a pent up sigh that you didn’t even know you were holding in “you like him?” Quinn broke the silence between you both as you placed your plate on the table “don’t know why I do.” A laugh left your lips as even after the conversations in the kitchen you still did.

No matter how hard you tried to deny it Luke was always going to hold this power over you “because he’s always been by your side and you love him.” Quinn was the older brother you always wanted as a kid because he could read you like the back of his hand “if I knew telling him would end like this I would have kept my mouth shut.” You sighed as you stared at the burning candle in front of you.

The way the ember illuminated your pupils as they doubled in size. It was ironic, the similarities between your attraction to Luke and a moth to a flame were stark “you don’t mean that.” Quinn mumbled as he pulled you into a hug feeling as though you needed it.

And of course he was right, you melted into his arms as his hand rubbed your back “I knew you wanted my friends but you’re going for my brother now too?” Luke’s voice sent a chill down your spine as you looked back to see the rest of the group now stood there “Luke Warren Hughes!” Ellen was taken aback by her son’s behaviour today “you know what I’ve had it with you!” You finally broke as you snapped.

Everyone kept quiet as they waited to hear what was going on “I could put up with you wanting space, leaving without a word.” Your voice cracked as you shook your head “I had to learn that you signed from Quinn and I still didn’t say shit.” Luke was silent as he looked like a kid who got caught “but now I’m done.” Your fingers raked through your hair as your chest grew tight.

Your hands began to shake “I might be in love with you but I certainly don’t fucking like you.” The words were cold as they cut deep into his heart “you know how hard it was losing your best friend because he doesn't have the balls to tell you know he feels?" Tears created a steady stream down your face as you sniffled.

You brought your hand to your cheek to wipe away the tears as you shook your head "Ellen this all looks lovely but I'm just gonna go." When Luke couldn't even respond to you, you couldn't help but let embarrassment lace your mind as you pushed passed him to leave.

Michigan was a state you knew well but now this street felt foreign as the occasional non-working street light made these spores of darkness that echoed the negative thoughts that filled your mind "stupid, stupid, stupid." You dropped your head as you stared at your dirty white Converse hightops with each step they took.

Back at the house, it seemed that everyone else was now taking their turns to pick on Luke "I did not raise you to treat women like that!" As Ellen and Jim continued to berate their son as it mixed in with your mom's scattered apologies when Jack could have had a lightbulb go off on top of him "how would I even talk to her?" Luke felt his chest grow tight as the realization of the severity of what went on hit him.

Jack's soft shuffles were heard as he went to the couch "give her this." Your cream coat was bunched in his hands and it signified as a whole lot more than just your coat, it gave Luke a lifeline. One that if he didn't take the whole house was sure that Ellen would disown him "are you gonna go or should I hit you first?" Ellen motioned to the coat as she clapped her hands together.

You found yourself sat on a bench at the end of the road as you realized that you didn't know where you were in the dark with no phone. Your head rested in your hands as you continued to cry, no longer caring who saw you "why couldn't Luke just go back to being my friend?" You sobbed at the sound of footsteps "maybe I didn't want that." Luke sighed as he placed your coat over your shoulders as he didn't want you to freeze "if you are here to-" You cringed as you shifted to the other side of the bench.

Luke took the opportunity to sit by your side "please let me talk." The hockey player cupped your cheek as he brushed your skin with his thumb "I'm sorry." The apology made you feel sick as you rolled your eyes "bit late for that." You mumbled letting out a sniffle as you needed more from him.

He couldn't help it as a smile formed on his face "when you told me you loved me I was scared." His confession made your eyes go wide "I have been in love with you since that day you punched Jack for getting gum in my hair." The memory of how Jack had a black eye for two weeks had a giggle leaving your lips "I didn't want to see a world where you weren't my friend." Luke sighed as his eyes never left yours.

You remained silent "sure it was stupid but I panicked when I thought about you no longer being my person." His words were soft as he had never told you about that "I wanted to come home and tell you about Jersey but they told me I had to fly out that night." Luke was going to tell you he loved you too but he knew it wasn't fair to watch him leave and expect you to be okay with it.

More than anything else in this world Luke just wanted you to jump into his arms "and then I blocked you." You reminded him of the petty action you took as a hurt teen who had her heart broken "but why act like that tonight?" You added as you leaned back against the bench "because I thought that you could maybe hate me and then you'd find someone who could make you happy." Luke's confession made your heart break as you sighed.

Your hand was soft against his thigh "Luke I have only ever wanted you." You blurted out as the boy grinned "now I know I don't deserve it but can I kiss you?" Your lips were plump under the moon light as your body was painfully close to his "please." You mumbled shutting your eyes as you turned your head to the side.

His lips were rough against yours as his hand gripped at the back of your head "if you guys are done I want to eat!" Jack's voice made you both pull away as you swore you were dreaming. But of course you weren't as both his family and your mom all sat in the car as they smiled at you two "guys I said I'd do it!" Luke groaned as he dropped his head against the crook of your neck "yeah because like we were going to trust you with that." Ellen smiled as she winked at you.

Thanksgiving that year was the night Luke asked you to be his girlfriend, four later he proposed and to top it all off on your sixth as a couple you welcomed your baby boy in this world. You liked to call them your three reasons to be thankful, because maybe this day wasn't so bad after all.