#actually still insane about the sunflowers in this serie

[solarockk]

she's dead scar, you won.

[megu-meow]

take my breath - sukuna

Part 4 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list! :D

This part is shit, I'm sorry. After TTPD I found myself unable to write fluff, but I've kept people waiting, so I had to force myself to write this.

When Sukuna says soon, he means the next Thursday. He calls you on Wednesday after practice to ask you formally whether you could keep your schedule open for the next evening and you agree, because you have been waiting for your date for a few days now. However, you find yourself frustratedly trying on every piece of clothing you own, being indecisive about what to wear. You want to look good for him, because as you shyly admitted to your brother, you really like Sukuna. He's rough around the edges, but he seems like a good guy, unlike all the other people you've dated before. You contemplate calling one of the girls, but Senna and Akane love to gossip, and for the time being, you'd like to keep this little date with Sukuna a secret. So you call the only person you can trust in this situation.

Sophia arrives ten minutes after calling her saying you need help getting dressed for a date. She's the only one of the girls who knows that you have something going on with Sukuna, it makes total sense to reach out to her in your current circumstance. You already made her swear on your brother's life that she's not going to say anything about it to the girls, so you're safe in that regard. Plus, she has a keen sense of style, which comes in handy considering you want to impress the pink-haired centerman with your looks. You noticed already how many pretty girls were wearing his jersey to games, you know that he could have any of them at his disposal in a second. It still seems sketchy that he became so fond of you in such a short period of time, but you're not complaining.

"He was so nervous when I left, Kento thought he was going to explode." Sophia says as you try to put socks on, balancing on one foot.

"Who was?" you look at her and you nearly kiss the ground, regaining your balance at the last second.

"Sukuna, of course. He's been pacing around the apartment like a maniac all day."

"Really?" you ask timidly.

"Yeah. Kento said he had never seen him so stressed." for some reason hearing this makes you smile and your heart warm. Sukuna doesn't strike you as someone who would be nervous about dates, but you already learned not to assume anything about him, because he always surprises you with the way he acts.

"I'm kinda nervous too. I want this to go well." you explain and you try to put your earrings in. As you look at yourself in the mirror, wearing the outfit your sister-in-law put together, you're content with your reflection. You look amazing and you feel confident in the pieces you're wearing. Your makeup and hair are done in your usual way, you don't want to look like a completely different person. Apparently, Sukuna agrees that you look good. Because the moment you open your door for him, he freezes in place, with his eyes wide and glimmering. For a second you think something is wrong, but those thoughts are quickly dismissed as he speaks.

"You look beautiful, y/n." he states, his voice softer than you've ever heard. He is wearing a burgundy suit, one that complements his skin tone. His hair is sleeked back, but it still looks effortless in a way. You can smell his usual cologne, the musky scent that lingers. It suits him.

"Says you, handsome." you compliment him back and you swear a blush appears on his cheek. Suddenly, he remembers something, and he gives you the flowers he was hiding behind his back all this time. "Thank you! What happened to all flowers are stupid?" you ask as you smell the peonies in your hand.

"Well I got you some sunflowers, but your brother told me I was insane, so he dragged me to a florist to get 'ones that girls actually like'." he explains.

"He's right, you know? You made me wait four days for this date, the least you can do is give me some girly flowers." you joke and he rolls his eyes. Nonetheless, he reaches out for your hand. You slip it in his palm, which is calloused from holding a hockey stick most hours of a day, but very warm.

"Listen, woman, I made you wait because I wanted to take you to a 3 Michelin Star restaurant that specializes in your favorite food." he explains as he opens the door of his car for you to hop in.

"What?" you ask in shock before he closes the door after you. He leans down, looking into your eyes with a smirk across his face.

"You heard me, y/n. Now, don't be so shocked, I told you I would go all out for our date."

"You didn't have to though. You could have taken me to a hole-in-the-wall ramen place and I would have liked it." you say, slightly feeling bad "How did you manage to get a table anyway? These places are booked months ahead."

"The owner is a huge Wizards fan and apparently I'm his kid's favorite player. I had the team sign a jersey and got them season tickets, so they were glad to do me a small favor in return." he explains like it is nothing, but it means the world to you. No one has ever done something so grand for a date with you. It makes your heartbeat go nuts and you can't help but stare at him as he drives. You observe his tattooed hand that is on the armrest, shaking slightly. You smile and instinctively take it in yours, laying your intertwined hands in your lap. He turns his head towards you in shock, but he quickly looks back to the road. The blush from before returns, even his neck turns pink, and you smile, adoring his reactions.

The dinner goes by fast, despite lasting for hours. The food is exquisite, as expected. Most importantly, there's not one dull moment. You and Sukuna talk like you've known each other your whole lives. He asks about your interests, what you like to do in your free time, where you went to school, and about your friends. He seems interested in everything you talk about, he listens with an intensity you find rare. He drinks up every single word that leaves your mouth, he asks questions, and he's genuinely curious about how you perceive the world. You ask him plenty of questions yourself and he answers them gladly. He seems very fond of his brothers, he shows you pictures of them and you observe how Yuji has the same color hair as him and Choso has a very similar line tattooed on his nose as Sukuna's.

"They're coming to town soon, by the way." he comments and your eyes light up.

"How come?"

"It's Yuji's draft year and it's held here in Tokyo. Choso just tags along because he clings to that brat like a leech."

"That's so rude!" you exclaim, but you're smiling. You're aware that Sukuna probably shows his love towards his brothers a little bit peculiarly.

"Well, it's true."

"Do you see a chance of Yuji being drafted by the wizards?" you ask.

"Not really. He is prospected to be in the top three of the draft and we are clinching the playoffs this next game as number one in the league. We probably won't have a pick in the top ten."

"I'm sorry to hear that. It would have been cool for him to have you on the team he's drafted to."

"I don't think so. If I'm being honest, I'm glad there is little to no chance for that to happen as of now."

"Why is that?"

"He won't have a target on his back. Otherwise, people would be mean to him and would rough him up with the sole purpose of pissing me off. This way he can become a professional player without being concussed every game."

"You're very protective of your brothers, huh?" you ask and he smiles.

"You could say that." he smirks "I'm protective of everything I own, you know." he adds looking into your eyes deeply. You know there is a deeper meaning behind his words. He's implying that he would be just as safeguarding about you if you were his girlfriend. You find it hard to believe that a guy like him exists. He is so charming but respectful. He is attentive, you mentioned one time what your favorite food was and he remembered, moreover, he went out of his way to get you the best version available of it.

"Where were you my whole life?" you ask, not realizing that you blurted out your thoughts just like that. You feel embarrassed as your hands fly to your runny mouth, covering it. However, Sukuna just laughs. He rarely laughs like this. It comes deep from within, the type that shakes your whole body and you're sure you're red like a lobster as you observe him.

"Sweetheart, I've been asking that question about you since December." he answers, his charming smile never fading.

"December?" you question.

"Oh, I thought your brother told you about that too." he seems shocked, but he continues "I've spotted you in the crowd at the Family Game in Kyoto. I was mesmerized, I even ran into one of my teammates on accident, I was too preoccupied with looking at the angel in the Wizards jersey."

"Oh, I remember that. I was laughing about that with Akane." you recall and Sukuna frowns "So you've had your eyes sat on me since then?"

"Well, I didn't know I was going to meet you on my first day in Tokyo while I was shirtless, but destiny has its way, I guess."

"You believe we were destined to meet?"

"I told you before, sweetheart, I am superstitious. Take that as you want, but I do think we are here having dinner for a reason." he explains.

Your date ends when the restaurant staff asks you nicely to leave because they've been closed for two hours already. You didn't even realize that all the other customers had left and the staff was ready to close. Sukuna pays for the bill and he sends you a death glare when you offer to pay for your part. "Woman, you won't have to pay for anything while you are out with me." he states, irritation evident in his tone. He also drives you home and walks you to your door. You're wearing his suit jacket, because you were a bit cold, although he turned the heater on in the car.

"Thank you for tonight! I had a lot of fun." you smile up at him, as you're trying to say goodbye on your doorstep.

"There is nothing to be thankful for, you got what you deserve, princess." he says and he seems a little bit disappointed, but you're not able to determine why. Maybe the date didn't go as well in his perspective as you thought.

"Is something wrong? Did I say something to offend you?" you ask in panic and he quickly shakes his head, dismissing it. Suddenly the redness returns to hiss tattooed cheeks and he suddenly seems nervous.

"I just thought I deserved a kiss after that." he whispers shyly, his face down, gaze locked on the tip of his shoes.

It's your turn to laugh at his awkwardness, but you still cup his cheeks in your hands and pull him in for a kiss. You don't quite understand where all this fearlessness came into you from, but you're glad it did because the kiss is magical. It's soft but eager and you can feel him smiling into it as his large hands find their destined spot in your hips. You're the one to break the kiss, but Sukuna pulls you in closer, resting his forehead on yours, and looking deeply into your eyes. His smile reaches his ears and he whispers to you softly:

"I hate to break it to you princess, but I don't think I can go on with my life without doing that every day."

You smile, and respond with a smile just as wide as his "Good, because I don't think I can either."

The next day is game day and you arrive at your brother's apartment beforehand. You usually drive with them to the arena. Sukuna emerges from his room in his game-day suit, his eyes glowing up the moment he sees you there.

"We're gonna be down at the car, Bambi." Sophia says as she and Kento leave in a hurry.

Sukuna steps closer to you, embracing you, his muscular arms around your shoulders.

"Hello, princess! How are you?"

"I'm great, Sukuna. Thank you for asking! How are you?"

"Better now that I know you're coming to the game to cheer me on." you smile, stepping away from the embrace, and you look into his eyes. "Are you gonna give me a good luck kiss or what?"

You're surprised by his boldness, but you leave a peck on his lips nonetheless.

"If I do good today, you're gonna have to do that before every game." he states.

"Alright. You've got yourself a deal." you smile and you urge him out the door, before your brother and his wife could start thinking that you're doing something inappropriate in their home.

Good does not describe the way Sukuna plays that night. He has one of the best games of his life and after the first goal, as his celebration, he looks towards where you're standing and points at you with a wide smile on his face. This is your sign that from now on, you're gonna have to keep your promise of giving him a good luck kiss before every game.

🩵 Tag list: @ichorstainedskin @ureuphoriasworld @new-weather47 @deepchromatose @cvr2mya @janrcrosssing @bakuhoes-bxtch @deluluforcarlos55 @stainednailpolishremover @thejujvtsupost @bleachisfood @dorck26 @chilichopsticks @when-worlds-end 🩵

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I’ve been watching How to Get Away With Murder lately and let me just say I’ve had several topics that this fucking show has made me want to blog about that I just don’t wanna spam y’all with so let me bullet point this for you:

Warning: Long AF post about complete nonsense.

1. I never finished Scandal (another series by Shonda Rhimes) but I sure did watch a shit ton of it and I used to genuinely think it was a great show at the time. Haven’t seen it in a while so I’m not sure how exactly I’d feel now, but if watching HTGAWM has shown me anything it’s that god does this woman suck at writing characters. She’s pretty good at writing serialized legal/political dramas, I’ll give her that, but she legitimately only has like maybe 4-5 character archetypes that she just copied and pasted from Scandal onto this show, and boy do the flaws show in this series.

You’ve got the strong, black female lead whose job it is to basically fix problems, ethically or unethically, she pretends to care but doesn’t really.

You’ve got the sociopathic do-it-all guy who does all the unethical dirty work including breaking and entering, kidnapping, killing, destroying evidence, planting evidence, etc. with a troubled past of being in prison.

You’ve got the incredibly basic girl who starts off all shy and cute like she’s an innocent little sunflower, who then falls in love with the sociopathic do-it-all guy which inevitably leads her down a similar road of corruption.

You’ve even got the soft-spoken, ‘dreamy’ white man that the lead has the hots for (as well as the mentally-damaged white girl).

There’s probably more, but honestly that’s all I can remember from Scandal at this point. It’s actually kind of insane to me how it’s literally just the same exact characters just transplanted to a different plot. I don’t know much about her personally, but she strikes me as someone who would probably make bank writing romance novels or Y/N fanfic.

2. Binge watching shows has ruined pacing of older shows, such as HTGAWM, because without that weeklong break in the middle (sometimes longer for holidays) you overlook details because you don’t have time to process them properly, and oftentimes plot points that require time passing (such as relationships, breakups, etc.) can fail completely because it’s not really believable when a couple is together one episode, breaks up to be w/ someone else the next, says “I love you” the next, and is pregnant in the next (yes, this is something that actually happened in HTGAWM).

3. Just in general, the writing for this show really begins to plummet after just S1, but mostly S2. I’ll give them credit where credit is due, a lot of shows that begin with this ‘hook’-like idea--in this case murder and how to get away with it--tend to fail miserably by wrapping up that initial hook in the first season and then winging it every season after that. This show surprisingly doesn’t do that, and every season begins with a new murder that they then have to “get away with” (almost comically-so).

But as I said, this woman doesn’t seem to know how to write characters, at least not likeable or consistent ones. It sometimes feels like I’m watching reality TV or something because a lot of the conflict between characters is incredibly forced. I’m halfway through S4 and despite the fact that these people love to profess how much they love each other, they’re a family, etc. in nearly every episode you’ve got someone “not trusting” someone else, someone keeping secrets “just because”, or someone yelling at someone else for something because it’s “all their fault” when like none of that is ever actually true.

Oliver and Conner broke up because Oliver felt like the relationship wasn’t healthy because, even after he lied to Conner about something really fucking important, Conner instantly forgave him, which yeah sure that absolutely sucks and is a totally valid reason to break up with someone, albeit a sad one because obviously you two still love each other...except in the next fucking episode, Conner is hooking up w/ strangers and Oliver is genuinely considering jumping into another relationship, and also Oliver is changing his story and claiming the reason he broke up w/ Conner was actually Conner’s fault because of like trust issues or something which just isn’t true at all?? It was a wild retcon that came out of nowhere for no other reason other than I guess she needed them to sleep w/ other people that season.

Also I’m sorry but how is Michaela supposed to be even a remotely redeemable character when she’s written to be this huge uptight, racist, homophobic (or possibly biphobic), bitch? I don’t think she ever gets better. Right from the get go in S1, she has this whole ordeal over her fiancé having had one gay experience many years ago when he was younger, and like okay I would understand it if it was just about the fact that he didn’t tell her about it, but she continued to spiral out over it, accusing any man even in the vicinity of him as being his secret lover, and continues to badmouth him as “gay” (I can’t write tone here, but she says it in a very accusing way) to the others including Conner who is literally gay. There’s also never really a refutation to this either, so by the time Aiden is completely out of the picture, I guess we’re left to just assume he is actually gay, despite all possible evidence pointing to the contrary. But I guess all of this is A-OK because she becomes GBFs w/ Conner later for...some reason, I guess.

Then there’s the way she treats Asher which, in the beginning I was like okay fair, he’s the douchey frat boy character. Totally understandable why you’d treat him like an asshole. But when they hook up and eventually get together, she is so unbelievably racist towards him??? She’s constantly going on about “white boy” this and “white people” that, and the poor dude just takes it because he’s super whipped.

The way she also talks about other black people is even off, like if she wasn’t black (and Shonda Rhimes wasn’t black) I would daresay it comes across as fetishistic. In fact, a lot of this show is written like fetish porn of black people. God help if this was written by a white woman which ironically enough, it really does feel like this was written by a white woman. I’m not even joking, if I didn’t already know who Shonda Rhimes was, I would swear to you this show was written by a white woman who really loves black people, to an uncomfortable degree. I’m not even talking about cringy “black empowerment” either, that’s not what bothers me. It’s one thing to promote strong black (female) characters in a show which you know it’s fine I guess, whatever, but this show fetishizes that instead. Black people aren’t just strong and powerful, they’re the strongest and the most powerful. It’s creepy and weird.

At this point, the only reason I’m watching it is because I like Viola Davis and despite her character being iffy at times, she’s still a tremendous actress. And ofc I like Colliver, even though it’s messy a lot of the time. I know I just sat here and shat on the show a bunch, and to be clear it’s definitely not a show I would ever recommend, but it’s not strictly-speaking terrible. It just has a lot of bad moments/elements to it.

[wonwoosthetic]

Could you share some of the svt recs you get too?? I need some more recs as well. (But obviously yours are amazing too!!!)

YESS, of course!!

So, I’m just gonna mix the ones that I got and some of my personal favourites: (in no specific order)

(these are only series recommendations, I can do one shots, etc. too, if you want to🤗)

WARNING: smut (for some)

@meltwonu ‘s entire masterlist. And when I say entire, I truly mean ENTIRE. Writing is immaculate. I love it.

Some of my personal faves:

- caffeine (wonwoo series): who doesn’t love a good frat boy Wonwoo, right?!😫 + the sequel until I met you !!!

- thief (svt): I’m too much in love with the home run mv and every series with that theme, so this is a big MUST READ

- ch-ch-cherry bomb (scoups series): no words. Absolutely no words. Just amazing. I don’t know how to describe it. Just read it. Love it. Such good smut omg.

- pls read all of her drabbles too!! Sooo good!

@wonwoonlight if you don’t know her, you’ve been living under a rock. At this point, I’m convinced everyone know her writing because it’s THAT good

personal faves:

- my daisy (Mingyu series): YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE READ THIS.

- my way to you (Wonwoo series): just so beautiful😫 istg I’m a sucker for her writing and this is just another masterpiece

@bubblebeom another pretty famous tumblr writer, I’m pretty sure. She’s another one of those angels sent from heaven with her insane talent for writing.

I can’t even put my faves together, so here is her masterlist

But when talking about series specifically, obviously:

- Heart & Seoul (Wonwoo series): too good. Every carat on this planet has to read this. Chef’s kiss.

- Getting Closer (Wonwoo, Mingyu series): if you’re a carat and have tumblr, you probably already know about this one, but I’m still gonna hype it tf up because this is one that I will also never get tired of reading)

I recently read Vanilla for the first time and Jesus Christ… went back the next day to read it again. Most definitely am going to read it a third time. And a fourth. And who knows how many times again after that. The best Joshua smut I’ve ever read on this app ngl. I actually had to put the phone down because I started blushing so hard.

AND Remind Me. Read it. Loved it. You should too

@heavenshoon Days Off With SVT (SVT series)

Something cute I stumbled upon and I REALLY liked it!! Highly highly recommend!! Very excited to see more of her in the future!🥰👏🏼

@marigold-sunflowers dear stupid diary (Jeonghan series)

This was recommended to me and I still have to start it, but I’m very excited!!!🤭🤗

@twogyuu Terrifyingly Innocent (S.Coups series)

LISTEN. I’ve already reblogged it (and this woman actually asked me if I aren’t a “famous” tumblr writer, GIRL STOP🥹) But I will not shut up about this. I read it now three times and God… LORD… I can’t get enough of it😫😫 it’s TOO GOOD. I will never ever ever get tired of this series.

Gonna start reading all of her other stuff as well!!

And then there’s this series that I, for the love of God, cannot find anymore. It’s literally making me so sad because it was one of my faves.

It played in a Home Run!AU (MY ABSOLUTE FAVE) and it was about the reader being in a relationship with one of the members and they’re on a cruise and a diamond goes missing and they’re trying to find out who stole it.

ISTG IT WAS SO GOOD AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS OR WHAT IT WAS CALLED😫😭 I think the writer deactivated their account tbh…

I remember the username being something with Minghao and their profile pic too! And they also had another AMAZING series with Wonwoo x idol!Reader… (I think they’re were the same profiles)

So good… so sad to have lost it… I’ll never forgive myself for that

Here are some! I might add a few after a while or post another fic rec if anyone asks :) also: I 100% forgot some, so I’ll most definitely make another fic rec post

If anyone wants to recommend some more to me, feel free to do so!!!!🤗

Thank you for also enjoying my own series♥️🥰♥️

[tc-doherty]

I love Chinese media lot! I got obsessed with that silly Great Wall movie (I still love it honestly), and then I got obsessed with Thunderbolt Fantasy, and then I found the Mo Dao Zu Shi novel and that was the final nail in the coffin LMAO

but here are some of my favorites (under a cut because it's literally just me rambling a bit):

Novels:

You would probably assume MDZS but no! Although yes, I am obsessed with it and it is my favorite of MXTX's books. But!

My actual favorite Chinese novel is 反派白化光环, a.k.a. The Villain’s White Lotus Halo. I love this book sooooo much. Every chapter renders me incapable of doing anything else except thinking about it. Unfortunately it's not fully translated yet, so it's not accessible to other people. Even worse, a lot of what's available seems to be machine translated which is just awful.

I do think it's very funny that a few years ago some people accused me of being an MXTX apologist because they didn't like my opinions about another famous Chinese author who I will not mention here, but I literally have a signed post card by the author of White Lotus Halo on my pegboard in my office and I paid extra to get that with a box set of one of her other series. Clearly, if I’m an apologist for anyone, it's TP. Anyway.

I also really like 泾渭情殇, a.k.a. Clear and Muddy Loss of Love. To be fair I hate the ending, the last few chapters are awful. But everything up until then is 10 out of 10. I just pretend the last few chapters never happened. This one is fully translated, and I think the translation is still available.

Manhua:

Anyone who knows me knows that I have one manhua that I love above all others, and it’s 我家大师兄脑子有坑, a.k.a. My Senior Martial Brother Has a Pit in His Brain. What can I say? This story is so hysterical to me. I'm over 400 chapters into it, and I love the donghua as well. Every episode of that (except for the 1st one???) has English subtitles but afaik the comic has never been translated outside of the what I've done (which isn't very much).

Donghua:

Aside from the above, I really like 时光代理人, a.k.a. Link Click, which I don't have to talk about because everybody already knows what it is. It's excellent, I'm ready for the 2nd season LMAO

A less well-known show I absolutely adore  is 风灵玉秀, a.k.a. Sunflowers a.k.a. Soulmate Adventure a.k.a. Spirit Wind Elegance, whatever you want to call it. It's currently the only GL donghua in existence and although it can be a bit rough around the edges, it's super cute. It needs more support and love! You can watch it with English subtitles on Bilibili’s youtube channel and we’re also getting a 2nd season, yay~

There's 天宝伏妖录 , a.k.a. Legend of Exorcism which is very funny to me and can be watched on Netflix

Honestly so many more? I watch a lot of donghua. I'm really waiting for information about 六爻, a.k.a. Liu Yao. Hello? It's been so long, is the production team still alive? 

Dramas:

香蜜沉沉烬如霜, a.k.a. Ashes of Love made me fucking yell! Literally made me yell "oh fuck” out loud. Show is insane. It's on Netflix, I highly recommend it.

There's also ���魂, a.k.a. Guardian which… Look. I hate the book that this is based on but the show is absolutely bonkers and it is so funny, and I was in the middle of re-watching it and it got taken down from everywhere that I can access and I'm so mad about it.

延禧攻略, a.k.a. Story of Yanxi Palace is so good. Every single episode makes me scream out loud. Again, literally.

招摇, a.k.a. The Legends. I will admit that the very beginning and very end of this show are not great but 80% of what's in the middle is fantastic and I loved it.

Movies:

Other than The Legend of Hei, I really like 姜子牙, a.k.a. Jiang Ziya. So good, and the animation is beautiful.

I have to mention 哪吒之魔童降世, a.k.a. Nezha because it got a very limited release in America and I literally drove 3 hours each way to see this movie in theaters.

And I also like 新神榜：哪吒重生, a.k.a. Nezha Reborn, which I think is super fun. Although I feel like people in the circles that I was in didn't like it as much for some reason.

Honestly, I love Chinese media. I read a lot of novels, watch a lot of donghua and animated movies, and a lot of c-dramas. And if you want recommendations for any of those things I'm happy to provide ahahahaha

[borrelia]

Fuck it. pinnt post of utena amvs i like :)

can i offer you an amv in this trying time? organized and all by “thematically Gets It,” “pretty to look at,” “goofy silly fun,” “editing effects drive me nuts,” and “i just like these” :) tumblr video limit kills me tho so some r just Links 😔

+ warning for the series’ main subject triggers, specifically heavy suggestion of p*philic and inc*tuous abuse

x warning for heavy 90s-style flashing, especially yellow-black, white-black, and red-black. rarely yellow-red-white. no warning for usual amv flashing

* uses clips from the finale, but does not spoil major plot points

** uses clips from the finale and spoils major plot points

You...You Get It

**+ Learn to Let Go

This gets it... it’s about Anthy.. it’s about her healing.. also it does a great job comparing all the visual parallels throughout the show (of which there r many)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCWAIlk65Sc

**+x Still Feel

Yes yes yes the climax is about all the LITTLE things not the big things! Girl the thematics... its so on it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGwSw2nTJ4g

**+x For Your Love

Flashing is brief red-black. A slow video but man.. I have been a snake, I have been a dog, I have crawled on your floor...I’m not real, I’m a doll to play with... girl you get it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygpy3-OAh9U

**+White Houses

The song in this is a lot more lighthearted and childish-sounding, maybe a little melancholic and bittersweet, which imo... matches how the show actually feels to watch (at least the first time). The dramatics are fun but this Feels like rgu to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQwipIHUEwg

**+xRed Right Hand

Mostly about evil akio moments but I think that its neat it sometimes touches on that idea of “You too, beware... the witch still wanders our world luring in new victims”

This Anime Looks So Cool

**x+  I'll Find You

I saw this at a con a few years ago before watching the show, and it’s what finally got me to watch it :)

*+ Overflow

Movie only. “Spoils” the movie but that will mean nothing to you bc its all allegory allegorier allegoriest anyway. The energy she has... so fun :)

**x Make me Real Again

This and I’ll Find You are very similar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

**x+La Voiture

Depeche mode shifted down a couple notes for an Apocalypse Arc-centered amv... I go nuts and insane and this makes me want to go Fast

Jast A Little Fun :)

**+x Bet On It

Legitimately so good and thematically on it omg. love you bet on it utena

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl0Avf9ZNRc

xThe Boys In The Ohtori Sports Car

An older amv that gets bonus points for absolute shit SD image quality (affectionate). Literally just Akio Car Compilation

Oughghg Editing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjIjG4x49H0

**+xTake You There

girl im obsessed. Yesss add those scanlines add that thematically significant VHS corruption distort those colors overlay all these scenes yessss. Big part of the flashing warning is from the editing in this case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlSKvz8KNKA

Blinding Lights

In love with the beginning of this especially. Very short. Lots of fun FX, very pretty :)

I Like The It

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27FtMooYZXM

Black Roses

Entirely within the Black Rose arc :) its just sooo fun i love swordfights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks9E-TzV8x4

**+x Sunflower

its just nice :) its good amv is what it is

[kingdom-of-kins]

Hallo! It’s good to see you again. I do paint, hypothetically! You’re right about the time thing haha. It’s been a while since I’ve really painted, art can be hard sometimes and it’s mostly for fun. I have a love hate relationship with my chosen medium sometimes: I hate to draw landscapes and free handing them is messy. But on the other hand…. My favorite thing to paint is the night sky. It’s an interesting combination to say the least. But man if some of the things people build aren’t stunning and make me itch to grab my paints.

We’ve been watching some more of the afterlife stuff. It’s been proving hilarious so far- and even though we know it isn’t really a continuation of empires we might’ve been emotional over something sausage did in his recent episode. Pearls finale in empires was heart wrenching for us, and the quiet little nod to her in the Church of Saint Pearl was just. He surrounded the church with sunflowers too.

It’s snowing outside again, and Ethos tempted to make it snow inside again because someone remembered that one fun fact about how you can make ice cream out of clean freshly fallen snow.

Hermits are insane as always. What are some of the things you’re enjoying lately? Be it with the new season or in general. I hope things are sunny for you as well -🐉

o// hi again!!

yeah, i gotta agree: art, while smth i try to do often, takes more energy then i'd like to admit. ive done a few night sky paintings myself!! im not all that good at it but it is sure fun :] AND so true, i get rlly inspired by other peoples works in different mediums all the time but its so hard to transfer them to my main medium (digital art) while still keeping the vibe i was going for.

i never actually ended up watching empires tbh! i might, now that its done, but that type of series has never really been my thing unless im hyperfixated on someone whos part of it lol. im glad to hear that afterlife is seeming cool so far!! hope you're having fun with that :]

the weather where ive been has been very swingy lately, so i kinda get that. far too many storms if you ask me. but snow ice cream... thats a thought. whats your favourite flavor of ice cream, actually? just out of curiousity. mines probably strawberry or peach, im a sucker for fruit flavors

ive mostly been getting into non-mcyt series, but ive really been enjoying slimecicles videos :] im still partway through the recent scu upload but ive been rlly enjoying it so far!

best of wishes to you :]

[passivenovember]

Snippets of partially written fics that will never see the light of day, part one!

--

He keeps a battered spiral notebook in the back pocket of his Levi’s like some sort of behavioral scientist. Life Among the Gorillas, Jane Goodall through and through, beginning when the car is parked on Cherry lane. 

Billy considers the slopping roof, the screened in porch, and the cracked pavement that proves the house has never seen a family from the west. 

That’s the first fact in his notebook, the holy grail Billy will share with the world when he journeys back home again; houses in the Midwest are not equipped to care for families that were born near the sea.

Families where children are born with boards nailed to their feet. The surfing and skating kind.

Billy doubts they’ll be doing much of either, here.

“It doesn’t look that much different from home.” Max clutches her regulation board to her chest. The world’s most awkward and uncomfortable teddy bear, wheels poking and prodding skinny arms as she glances over, worrying the skin of her lip. “Do you think it looks different?”

Billy thinks it does. 

He hates it. Everything about it; the brown house, on its brown yard, next to its brown driveway. Pancakes and hash browns. Grass as far as the eye can see. 

Max worries the skin of her lip.

Billy thinks it looks different. Thinks it looks like hell, like wastelands and flood lands and miles of isolation, but. “Nah.” He shakes his head anyway.

“Yeah?”

“Feels different, though.” Billy rolls down the window, plugging his nose dramatically. “Smells different, too.”

Max snorts. “Shut up.”

Small victories.

“It does, it smells like cow shit.” Neil and Susan are still a ways off, pulling the Ford behind the moving van. Billy figures they have time, before. 

Things change. Before boards are exchanged for Nike shoes and wool coats in the fall.

Billy digs around for his lighter. “Wonder what the locals do about the stench.”

“Maybe they plant flowers.”

“Impossible,” He says, taking a pull from his smoke and stretching his legs where they sit. It’s been a long drive, but. He’s not ready.

Not yet.

“Maybe they have massive green houses and everyone buys crates of lilies and sunflowers when they seasons change.” Max fiddles with the wheels on her skateboard. “Maybe their living rooms are full of yellow petals. Maybe they only eat sunflower seeds.”

“Sunflowers don’t smell like anything.”

“Bullshit.”

“They don’t, that’s why the factories cover them in barbecue sauce. To make ‘em smell good.” Billy watches Max filter through a series of expressions before she lands on her favorite. 

Irritation. “Just because you’re my big brother--”

“Jesus, don’t call me that?”

Max blinks. Wide and owlish. Wet. “How come?”

And Billy doesn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. Doesn’t want to start over at all, but. That’s what this is. Endings and beginnings and relationships that crumble and turn to dust before siblings rebuild them out of clay, into.

Something shiny.

And new.

Billy tugs the collar of his jacket up and around his ears, frowning. “Makes me sound old.”

“You are old,” Max says lightly. “You know too much random shit not to be old.”

“Like what?”

“Like,” Max adjusts the skateboard, running her hands across the etched and worn surface. “How to change a tire. Where to find the best hiking boots. How to roast a turkey--”

“‘S not my fault your mom can’t cook for shit.”

“I know that.” Max says. “That’s what old people do. Complain about how their recipe for peach cobbler is better, and the local youths are ruining the duck pond, and like. Brag about shit they know how to do.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy counters. “And what kind of shit is that?”

Max shrugs. “Survival.”

She opens the car door after that, placing the skateboard on the pavement and testing the waters. Billy rolls her window down for better driveway vision.

“You think I know how to survive.” 

It doesn’t seem possible.

“Yeah, you know.” Max gets a little more confident after her feet plant themselves on the board. She maneuvers pretty well over the cracked pavement, a kick flip here, a slash turn there. “ You understand lots of stuff. Maybe everything.”

“Everything, huh?”

Billy watches with glee as she falls on her ass over the fist split in the concrete. Max looks up at him, scowling when he can’t quite swallow the laugh working its way up his throat. 

“The jury’s still out on that one.” She says stiffly.

Billy doesn’t buy it for a second. “Whatever, shithead. I’m your big brother now, and I know everything. Remember that the next time you’re trying to get your way.” 

Max flips him the bird. Billy leans against the hood of the Camaro, eyes tracking the movement as Max tries the turn again. 

If nothing else it feels good to stand on his own two feet.

--

Everyone in the Midwest leaves their clothes out to dry in the afternoon sunlight, and the only reason Billy knows this is because Steve Harrington’s clothes smell like warm sugar and daffodil blossoms. 

Billy thinks it might be the detergent his mother uses. 

Maybe the uber expensive, hyper polyester blend that makes up the polos Steve swaps out for gym clothes at basketball practice, but when he finally works up the courage to do more than sniff, Steve looks at Billy like he’s gone insane.

“You actually have dryers on the west coast?”

Billy frowns. “Of course we do, what is this. Little House on the Prairie?” 

Harrington balls up his gym shorts, tossing them at Billy’s head. “The next time you wash your sheets, hang them outside.”

So Billy does.

And the next time he crawls into bed Billy realizes that sun bleached fabric does more than block out smells it creates a fortress. A barrier. Warm afternoons and the smell of oak leaves wrapped in his own little world.

--

From somewhere, through a haze of smoke and the wafting grasp of day old pizza, a needle tore a hole that felt like a bee sting. Painful in the way his feet would sometimes burn on the Middle School blacktop during summer.

Nancy yanked on the yellow rubber-band, letting it fall back in place. It slapped thickly against the meat of Steve's arm, and.

He was hanging in a butcher shopped. Ripe for sale. Wrapped from head to toe in caution tape, and.

Radioactive.

"Ow." Steve hummed distantly, fingers moving to rub. To soothe.

Nancy slapped his hand away. "Stings if you do it like that."

"Stings now, holy shit."

"You gotta let it heal."

Steve frowned. "I didn't think that was the point."

Which made Nancy giggle. "What, not to let it heal?"

"Yeah, I thought." He licked his lips. Once. Twice. It was like seeing God. "I thought we were supposed to let it bleed."

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

Then and Now - Dear Diary

AN: It's been a while since I’ve written Supernatural, or Dean, but I'm back now with a new Series. Gonna be 10 parts in total with a lot of feels and fluffs. I've been toying with this idea since I started re-watching spn earlier this year (thank you quarantine) and then after reading a series by the amazing @percywinchester27​ I got inspired and started writing. Shout out to my awesome beta @thorne93​, you da bees knees. 

AN2: I'm doing a thing where I raffle off a personalised drabble every month. How do you join? Easy, just hammer that reblog button. Reblog is one entry, reblog with comment is two entries. So you help spread my work and you might get a little sumpthin’ in return. Win Win

Pairing: AUDean x Reader

Warnings: Some grade A second hand embarrassment (it gets a bit awkward, yo!) There's some talk about sex in this. Italics are entries from her diary. 

Wordcount: 2070

CATCH UP HERE

Summary: It's 2010 and you’re back in Lawrence to settle your family’s affairs after your mom passed. You hope to be in and out of town before anyone really knows you’re there, but that doesn't go as plan. Will a certain green eyed mechanic convince you to come back to the life you once had in Lawrence? Or are you going to return to the real world as soon everything is settled. 

Three weeks had passed since that night by the lake, and the farm was back in pristine condition. You had worked tirelessly, day in and day out, with some help from your friends of course. It had been so great to reconnect with them all. Honestly, you were the happiest that you had been in a while. There still was a dull ache in your heart though, one that seemed to strengthen every time you were with Dean. It was hard to be around him, to be his friend when you knew that was all it was ever going to be. And now that there was nothing left to keep your days occupied, that old restless feeling had settled in your bones again. 

This life wasn't meant for you. Not on this farm. Not Dean. Not even your friends. It was an unachievable dream, just out of reach, and it was slowly driving you insane. Hope had ignited in you that night by the lake, maybe, just maybe there was a chance for you and Dean, but nothing had happened since then to tell you that that was the case. So now you were convinced you had put more meaning in his words than was really there. 

Some days you would stop by the pet shop and say hi to Red, which now was something you looked forward to. Donna told you that he had been a lot happier since you started visiting him, and at times he was a real chatterbox now. You would let him on your shoulder and walk around the store while you talked softly to him, treating him some sunflower seeds here and there. Red greeted you with a high pitched hello every time you walked through the doors, and when you left, he would reach his little foot out as if he was trying to stop you from leaving. At times you wondered if he would make a good travel companion. If he could come with you in your truck as you drove around the country, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside. 

It was another beautiful Saturday morning, music was blasting from your old boombox as you cleared out your closet. It was an old mixed CD that Dean had given you way back when, filled with Metallica, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, and everything else Dean listened to. REO Speedwagon played in the background as you found the stacks of old diaries in the far right corner, hidden under some other junk. A smile played on your lips as you pulled them out, five of them in total, all with different covers around them. 

“This is bound to be awkward,” you mumbled to yourself as you picked them all up and carried them with you down stairs. 

After filling your cup with coffee, you brought it all with you to the front porch to start what would most definitely be an embarrassing trip down memory lane. 

June 1st 1995

Dear diary. 

I had a huge fight with Jo today. We were gonna hang out after my guitar lesson and she just kept houding me to play… IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I asked her nicely to back off, but she wouldn't leave it alone. Then she said I was just scared of embarrassing myself in front of Dean and I was sooooooo mad at her. Like… I swore her to secrecy when I told her about my crush on him and now… God… I don't think I can ever face him again. 

She's such a BITCH sometimes. 

The word ‘bitch’ was spelled out in big red letters, and you couldn't help but chuckle at your fifteen year old self. Gone were the days when your troubles were this innocent. 

There was no entry for a couple of days, just some doodles of Dean's name over and  over again. 

June 5th 1995

So I made up with Jo. She apologized which I know is, like, super hard for her to do, so we’re good again. She told me Dean has been acting really strange the last few days. Been all quiet and stuff. She said that Benny told her that Cas had told him that Dean asked Cas if he thought I had a crush on him. 

Jo thinks Dean has a crush on me too, but I don't think so. The last girlfriend he had was Lisa Braeden and she's so beautiful. No way I can compete with that. I just need to get over these stupid feelings so things can go back to normal. 

You skimmed through a few more entries, stuff about tests at school and plans for the summer holiday, then some thoughts and ideas for your birthday. It was all very tame. 

But then… 

June 14th 1995

HE KISSED ME!!!! I can't believe Dean actually kissed me… and on my birthday. It was so perfect, and his lips were so soft. It was better than I could ever have imagined. I'm so happy right now I could just scream. He asked me if I would go with him to the lake tomorrow and I literally can't wait. I can't even stop smiling. 

It was the perfect first kiss with the perfect guy. 

Then there was a drawn heart with Dean’s name in it. Without realizing it, your fingers ghosted over your lips as you recalled the kiss. It was a bit frustrating that you hadn't written it down in more detail, but the butterflies that coursed through you told you that you remembered it just fine. 

Time didn't really register as you sat and flipped through the pages of your diaries, so when Dean pulled up, you didn't know how long you had sat there. The coffee had long been forgotten and was now too cold to drink. 

“What's all this?” Dean asked as he plumped down in the empty chair. 

“My old diaries,” you said with a smile. “I found them earlier in my closet. It's so awkward, but I just can't stop reading,” you explained with a chuckle. It was hard to ignore the uproar of butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Dean, but you did your best to push it aside. 

“Lay it on me,” he gently ordered with that cheeky grin of his. 

“You want me to read you my diary?” You asked in bewilderment. 

“Yes!” he exclaimed, laughing. 

“Brace yourself for some grade A second hand embarrassment, Winchester,” you warned and he made a point of getting comfortable in his seat. You opened the book on a random page and started reading. “June 21, 1995. It's been a week since Dean and I kissed for the first time, and I still can't believe he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like, for real-” Dean chuckled and you chanced a look up at him, but he urged you to continue. “I mean, I have never been anyone's girlfriend before so I'm not really good at it I think. Like, can I just hold his hand whenever I want now? Or kiss him? ‘Cuz I want to do that all the time. I just don't want him to feel like I'm too clingy or something like that.” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. 

Dean just chuckled. “Why didn't you tell me?” 

“About my insecurities?-” he nodded -”I didn't want you to think I was a dweeb,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing. 

“That ship sailed long before that,” he said, erupting into laughter when you stuck your tongue out at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you all the time too,” he said in an exaggerated sweet tone. 

“Ha! Wish I knew that back then,” you mused. 

“Go on,” he said eagerly, pointing to the book in your hand. 

With a deep sigh, you opened to another random page. “August 7th, 1995. Dean took me to the lake today to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. We talked about ‘doing it’.” As you read the words out loud you giggled and hid your face behind the book. “Oh my god, Dean… It's so awful,” you whined behind the book. 

Dean found your embarrassment adorable, especially the smile that followed it, and the laughter. Your nose always scrunched up when you were embarrassed and it was nice to see that hadn't changed. “Go on,” he urged. “I wanna know if we ‘did it’.” Although he knew perfectly well that you didn't, not that night. 

“Really?” you asked, peeking up over the book. 

“Hell yeah. I'm invested in this now, don't leave me hanging.” 

“I told Dean I was scared because I hadn't done it before. He said he hadn't either. I was so sure he had done it with Lisa, but apparently that was just a rumor. I want to do it with him, though. I can't think of a better person to lose my ‘V’ card to. He said he would wait for as long as I wanted.” Even as awful as this was, it was very sweet in its innocence. 

“I remember that night,” he said, smiling. It wasn't that cheeky grin from a couple of seconds ago, though, it was the smile one had when recalling a fond memory. “It was a really great night.” 

“It was,” you agreed. It was nice to share this with him, even though it was embarrassing, it was a story that the two of you shared, and it was nice to have this reminder of how good things once were for you. You flipped the pages once more, now looking for a specific entry. “August 12th 1995. Dean and I finally did it. It was at the lake in the bed of my truck, but it was as perfect as could be. He was so gentle with me, and patient. It hurt a lot at first, but Dean went really slow and it got better. There was a little blood afterwards and I was super embarrassed, but he didn't care. I’m so glad Dean was my first, because I don't think anyone else would make me feel so safe. Dean always makes me feel safe.” The words trailed off and you looked up at Dean, the air suddenly thick around you. 

He cleared his throat before he spoke. “Well, there you have it.” 

“Sorry. I didn't know it would turn so… real,” you said quietly, closing the book and placing it on the table. 

“No - it's not - don't.... A lifetime ago, right?” 

“Right,” you agreed. Clearing your throat, you got to your feet and rubbed your clammy hands on your jeans. “Want a beer?” Now, you were eager to change the subject to just about anything else.

Dean looked up at you with apprehension as he accepted the bottle from you. He didn't know how much longer he could hold back his feelings. It was a decision made with his brain rather than his heart, to wait until he was sure you weren't gonna leave again. Every day was a new challenge, and he had to convince himself all over again that this was for the best, even though he desperately wanted you back in his arms. It was so clear to him now, why no relationship he’d had worked out, because no matter who they were or how happy they made him, they were never you. No one could take your place in his heart, not ever. “You know-” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, looking anywhere but right at you -”that night meant a lot to me too. And not just because I got laid for the first time,” he said with a chuckle. Typical Dean to add some joke into a serious conversation. “But because it was you.” 

The truth he spoke was clear in his emerald orbs and it damn near melted your heart. “I guess it was pretty great. Especially for two teenagers who were too immature to say the word ‘sex’ out loud,” you mused, a crooked smile on your lips. 

“You know what I think we should do?” Dean asked after a moment of silence. 

“What?” 

“We should grab some beers and head up to the lake to watch the sunset. Bring some blankets and stuff like we used to do, you know?” 

“I would like that very much,” you said earnestly. 

T&N Tags: @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @capandbuckylvr​ @superapplepie​ @sandlee44​ @eliwinchester99​ @sunflowers-n-rocknroll​

SPNTags: @atc74​ @akshi8278​

AllThingsTags: @campingmonkey​

Want a tag? Send me an ASK

Want the chance to win a personalized drabble? Slam that reblog button, add a comment, and you'll enter the raffle TWICE! 

[mulletcal]

flowers, maybe daisies, might relieve the gloom. - an a.i blurb

a/n: i lowkey blame @sexgodashton​ for starting this whole mini series of boomer!ash things, but i also adore this because boomer!ash is soft as hell.  and also a lil d*ddy but we don’t need to talk about that.  title is from wait by sweeney todd bc i love it.  alternative title was gonna be from L.G. FUAD by motion city soundtrack

word count: 

warnings: ashton irwin being a thirst trapping, lemon stealing whore. i’m kidding it’s just a solo ash fic w no smut but some mild ash thirst trapping.

-----

‘ashtonirwin started a live video.’

Ashton didn’t often go live on Instagram, but this shelter in place order had left him ultimately bored - writing a song every day before noon, sure, but anything after that was a blur.  Occasionally he would have interviews or live-streams with the band, but on days without that he was left alone with his thoughts, and his thoughts weren’t always the safest place to be; so talking to fans it was. 

It was going well so far, simply asking fans how their quarantine was going - bringing some of them into the livestream so he could talk to some face to face.  One girl in particular had caught his attention when they began to discuss hobbies she had picked up during the time she’d spent at home.

“Yeah, I’m learning to garden.  I have a tomato plant that is just starting to sprout actual tomatoes, so that’s kind of exciting,” She had said, a nervous laugh escaping.

“Well, I would hope that your tomato plant is sprouting tomatoes, it would be a little concerning if it was growing something else,” Ashton replied with a chuckle, the girl giving a small shrug but still laughing along with him.

“You should look into it if you’ve got the room at your house, I bet it would feel rather rewarding to be able to cook something with your own fresh vegetables.”

“Would save me quite a bit of money too.  Can I grow yeast? I’d like to learn how to make my own bread but here in L.A. you can’t find yeast anywhere.”

The conversation continued like that for a few minutes more, Ashton taking only a couple more fans into the livestream after that to talk to before he decided he should probably do something else productive with his day.  Something like learning to garden. 

It surprised Ashton the things you were able to order online during this time - soil being the main thing.  He also read that saving coffee grounds would help, and he was excited at the idea of his insane coffee habit wouldn’t be completely useless.  He ended up buying seeds for tomatoes, mint, sunflowers, lemongrass, and zucchini.  The lemongrass and mint was specifically for Calum, realizing he would be able to dry the plants out once he had harvested them so he could make the man his very own tea.

When his package finally arrived, Ashton spread the packages out, sliding them across the table as though he was some card dealer in Las Vegas.  Thinking the fans would find it amusing, he took a picture of the spread and added it to his story with the caption of ‘pick a card, any card…’.  Maybe it would only be funny to him, but it did prompt a fire reaction from Michael.

It seemed as though the reaction from fans were positive though, them taking to Twitter to let him know their excitement about his new endeavour.  That’s where his weekly livestreams began.  He would show everyone the progress he was making with his plants, and just in general him chatting with fans.  Ashton never really thought of how refreshing it could be to just talk to the fans, without the worry of time restrictions or anyone’s personal safety in the way; in fact, it left him rather inspired, loving their fans even more if it were at all possible.

A particularly warm day in L.A. left Ashton wondering if he should go out to the garden that day - but it was the day he would normally livestream, and he was excited to show what he was up to that day.  Ashton wanted to plant another tomato plant, and also the lemons on his infamous tree had enough for him to make some lemonade so he was going to go through that as well.

Clad in some cut off jeans, or as Calum so affectionately called them his jorts, and a white tank top, he pulled up the live option on Instagram and waited for the people to begin to filter in before he started to speak.

“Hey guys! Just gonna wait for more of you to filter in before I actually head outside, but I thought that since you guys love my lemon tree so much, I’d make some lemonade.  Fuck, I sound like a YouTuber.  Is that gonna be my next career, is just YouTube tutorials on how to make shitty lemonade?” Ashton laughed to himself, slicing the lemon so he could juice it, ignoring the comments he saw about murdering his lemon children.

It didn’t take him long to make the lemonade, making mild conversation with the fans while he stirred in a little bit of sugar and some cheat mint he had ordered while waiting for his own to grow.

“Alright, now that I’m waiting for that to cool, probably best we go outside and check on those tomatoes, hm?” 

It had been weird at first, talking to himself; but he quickly realized that he talked to himself anyways, even without the phone in front of him, so it couldn’t have been too weird for anyone who could overhear him.

“So I wanted to plant another tomato plant today, because everyone can use a friend right now, you know?” He looked into the camera, a smile spreading across his face when he saw the flood of cute little emojis that followed.  “M’gonna be like the Bob Ross of gardening. No mistakes, only happy accidents or whatever it was he said.”

Ashton began to work away at his garden, building up a sweat in the process.  It wasn’t until he leaned back, glancing at his phone did he see a text from Michael flash across the top.

‘Mate, Crystal said stop thirst trapping the fans.’

Ashton’s brow furrowed, unsure of what the text was saying, “Okay so I just got a text from Michael - what’s thirst trapping? And am I currently doing it?”

Of all the comments that followed, he noticed one that said ‘I mean… I’m not gonna say either way but take a look at yourself and get back to us’.  Another one told him that it was when someone wears something in order to provoke risque texts, or gain attention from someone.

Ashton pouted, looking down at his appearance.  He was kind of sweaty, but he didn’t think that the fans would mind him being covered in dirt and sweat, it’s not as though they had to smell him.  Though, he would admit that he needed a shower. 

“Well, since my tomato plant has been… planted next to its’ friend, and I’m apparently thirst trapping you all, I should probably go shower and clean up.  Is me mentioning a shower thirst trapping as well?” Ashton rubbed his face over his hands, a small huff leaving his lips, “I don’t know… Fellow youths, tweet me and lemme know.  Also, may hold a poll later on what to name these guys.” He flipped the camera around, struggling for a moment, to show the sunflowers that were starting to sprout, “M’thinking of naming one Denise.  Just seems like a Denise.”

After his small speech was over, he ended the stream, grinning to himself.  He hadn’t meant to show off his body in such a way, but it was funny to know that even with him hardly doing anything but be himself they still lost their shit.

Glancing around at his garden, he felt himself swell with a mild sense of pride.  He was still a ways off from seeing any fruits of his labour (literally), but it made him feel good knowing he did something with his time at home, instead of slipping further into his mind which wasn’t always the kindest to him.

Ashton realized that when he was gardening, it was similar to songwriting in a way where all of his self doubts and fears went away and he could just pour himself into it - the reward being well worth the risk in the end.

Once his shower was done, he sat outside in his backyard, sipping his lemonade and enjoying the sunshine - realizing that having to stay home wasn’t all too bad, if it meant he could reset his mind, and do some small part to help how he could during that time.

tag list:  @haikucal​ @talkfastromance4​ @softbabiestan​ @boyfriend-cal​ @calum-uncrowned​ @wildflowerirwin​ @irwindoll​ @gosh-im-short​  @thesubtweeter​ @heavenisapeach​ @ridingcthood​ @loveroflrh​ @mantlereid​ @inlovehoodx​ @irwinkitten​ @n-ctarinenga​​ @g-l-pierce​ @thecurlsofgod​

[missholland]

Lan Wangji (mostly, his love)

LAN ZHAN! I read somewhere that this was said 102 times by Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. It feels like an understatement, cause I’ve watched the show so many times now I could hear ‘Lan Zhan’ being called in my sleep...

My first time watching the drama, I was full on Team Xianxian. I mean, who would not be? He’s the central character of the story, he’s the first thing you see within the first few seconds of episode 1, and who could resist his sunflower aura? I was not into Lan Wangji at all. I remember this clearly because I just found an old Instagram story in my Archive on the day I first watched this show: a screenshot of Wangji’s face in episode 3 and my caption was: ‘OMG how could Wei sunshine fall in love with this dry and boring man?’. And just like how Wangji eventually swallowed all of the statements he had made about the young Wei Wuxian (’I don’t touch other people’, ‘We’re not close’, etc.), I am not the same person on that fateful day tuning in the first episode on Netflix. I am now Team Hanguang-Jun through and through!

What I’ve been enjoying so much these days is watching random earlier/later episodes just to compare how Wangji’s attitude changed toward Wei Wuxian over 16 years-ish. It’s probably so obvious for everyone that he definitely falls in love first, even when the drama purposely made their early relationship a lot more intense comparing to the novel i.e. showing Wei Wuxian somewhat feeling the same way about Wangji in his first life, with the constant flirting and mutual pining (don’t even get me started...). Now that I kinda understand what the character is like, it makes a lot of sense the way he processed his feelings for Wuxian in his youth. I wonder how different he would have reacted without the push from the best brother/wingman in the cultivation world - Lan Xichen. Sure, Jiang Cheng had a lot to say about this too, but mostly out of a slight envy (I reckon) over Wuxian’s new subject of desire. But Lan Xichen sees through his brother, and has been pretty much WangXian fanclub admin since day 1. I don’t have a brother, but man, I wish Lan Xichen could be mine.

In my humble opinion, the fact that we were given 3 versions of Wei Wuxian throughout the series kinda gifts us 3 versions of Lan Wangji too in a way - the straight face, the confused heart, and the national boyfriend/husband. Considering the number of times I rewatched the latter half of the series i.e. episode 33 onward, I just want to write down all of my thoughts about the national boyfriend/husband Lan Wangji, and not just because that version seems to have the most lines comparing to the other two.

There are several details that were not explained much in the series (although shown on screen) so I have to read from the novel later on. But oh my god, the stuff I found... I never realized that the scene before Lan Wangji went to Mo’s manor where his guqin was playing behind him standing on the balcony referred to how he used Inquiry to find Wuxian. What Jiang Cheng said to him about having gone to a lot of places for 16 years and searching for someone completely went over my head in the first watch, and imagine how I scratched my brain revisiting that part. That plus ‘oh I’ve never seen you at a cultivation conference before’ in episode 41 - my goodness, because he was spending ALL of his time LOOKING FOR Wei Wuxian.

Another thing I hope would have been addressed in the series was the hot iron mark on his chest. I thought the story of him drinking wine and giving himself a mark identical to Wuxian’s was the prime work of a broken heart. He must have thought about their conversation in Xuanwu cave, about the mark staying on his skin forever and how Wuxian was convinced Mianmian would never forget him. Was that how Wangji was making a point of never forgetting Wei Wuxian? If that scene made into the drama, I would have thought Wangji’s character song Buwang to be play in the background. The lyrics fit the situation so much.

Personally, everything from episode 33 onward was perfection for me, finally getting to see Wangji embrace his feelings and ACT ON THEM toward the romance-blind idiot Wei Wuxian (yes, he totally is). All the caring touches and details played out so astonishingly. One of my favourite (which doesn’t seem to be a popular one since I have not seen many gifs of it on Tumblr) was when, after interrogating Huaisang, Wangji comfortably moved over the other side of the table and picked up Wuxian’s left leg to CLEAN THE EVIL SPELL - think of the level of intimacy this act is! Although that came after the romantic piggyback under the moonlight, I thought that speaks volume for someone who doesn’t even physically interact with his family members, and serves as a great follow-up right after he, again comfortably, pulled up Wuxian’s trousers to check his leg.

What I thought was always presented so beautifully is every time Wangji serves Wuxian liquor. The way he carefully picks up his sleeve, prepares the cup (I know they’re probably not called ‘cups’ but I can’t find another word), pours the liquor and slides it over to his partner is so well demonstrated and shows how much he wants to properly take care of Wuxian. Would you put so much effort in such a tiny mundane act if you’re not doing it for the most important person in your life? 

In a way, I feel like everything he does is making up for what he could not do the past 16 years, including remembering so many tiny details and keeping all sort of Wuxian-related things. My favourite Wangji keepsake moment, despite being a very short one, is the butterfly talisman at Yunping City which he gave to Wuxian to rescue Wen Ning. I don’t know why that moment makes me really really happy, probably because that was one of the earliest items Wangji could have kept hold of from Wuxian’s. That tells us how way long before he was developing feelings toward this little rebel. Not to mention, we did see Wangji even use this very talisman in episode 11 when he encountered Wen Chao on his way back to Cloud Recesses.

Yes, the ‘I knew he was Wei Ying all along’ while having all the swords pointed at you is highly pivotal as it’s basically the censored version of ‘I love you’. BUT, the moment all leading cultivators of all major and minor clans ran to Burial Mounds just to witness Lan Wangji standing proudly without flinch on the other side with Wei Wuxian makes me appreciate that whole arc a lot more than the big revelation in the last 3 episodes. Wangji ignoring his own Grand Master, Wuxian once again standing against every single person in the cultivation world but with so much confidence this time around - to me, is beyond satisfying. I love this arc so much so I wrote a separate piece about episode 44-45 - if you’re interested in more of my random thoughts, feel free to have a read here.

Thinking about all this, I’m absolutely in awe of how protective national boyfriend Wangji is to Wei Wuxian even before knowing he lost his golden core. They either have insanely accurate GPS, or just really good telepathy. Wangji’s constant attention to his partner (without having to verbally find out where he is) blows my mind every time. Remember how proud Wei Wuxian was having Lan Wangji come out just in time to fight Xue Yang at Coffin Town? That’s how much Wangji’s love and trust empowers Wuxian and makes him so so so secured, even when everyone was walking around in the fog hiding from the most notorious killer and his puppets. 

The one detail that pushed me over the edge completely (thanks a lot Lan Xichen) was the story of Wangji’s mom. Oh my god, baby Wangji sitting in the snow really messes with my head. I cannot believe it took 40 something episodes for us to learn about Wangji’s emotionally damaged upbringing and what shapes him into a stubborn lovebird as we know today. It adds A LOT more context and sadness to his famous phrase ‘bring a man back to Cloud Recesses and hide him’, as well as Lan Qiren’s statement ‘have you not learned from your father’s lesson’. I revisit the ‘bring back and hide him’ scene with a completely new perspective and can sense Wangji’s pain and confusion that Xichen described. The desperation in that statement of Wangji was a lot heavier in my eyes now that I understand the back story. If I were Wei Wuxian listening to all of that from Lan Xichen, I would probably have a meltdown right there at the doorsteps of the Silence Room.

Now we all know the source of inspiration of the infamous ‘I want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses. Bring him back and hide him’ in episode 25:

So after all of Xichen’s effort in telling Wuxian how Wangji actually feels about him through the tear-jerker story about their parents, Wei Wuxian STILL asked Lan Wangji WHY he was willing to seal Bichen and his own spiritual power so that Jin Guangyao would not hurt him. This dense man, of course, brought up the guilt card i.e. ‘Oh you don’t owe me anything’. I mean COME ON NOW YILING PATRIARCH! CAN YOU ACTUALLY BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE MAN THAT TOOK 300 LASHES ON HIS BACK FOR PROTECTING YOUR LEGACY? 

I know it went the other way in the novel, where the big confession happened. Maybe a bite from Fairy could do you some good, or just talk to Lan Xichen some more and then you can start appreciating your soulmate the way he deserves.

The silver lining after being deprived of an epic love confession is everything that happened in episode 50. It might have not been spelling-it-out clear as in ‘I love you’ ‘I love you too’ because of the government censorship, but it’s easily the most obvious yet emotional type of ending the production team has worked to hard to deliver. If you are still having trouble processing the allegedly ‘ambiguous’ finale, I can help with that - here. Just a heads up: it’s a happy ending. 

Good to know Wei Wuxian has the rest of his life making up to Lan Wangji. Everyday means everyday, because Wangji deserves THAT much!

[megalony]

She’s a good girl- Part 12

Here is the latest update of one of my favourite murderer! Ben Hardy series, I hope you will all like it, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod @lelifesaver​

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She couldn't turn back now.

(Y/n) was five steps into the smaller church she had never once stepped foot in before, to turn around and walk out would cause too much attention to fall on her and she didn't want that. A few sets of eyes were already looking her way and it was making her feel uneasy even if they weren't glaring or properly staring at her or even looking at her in disapproval. Anyone looking at her automatically made (Y/n) feel like she was doing something wrong.

This wasn't her church, but then again, (Y/n) didn't really feel like she had a church anymore. She had the same religion, the same amount of faith and love for her religion, but she had nowhere to express that faith because she couldn't go to her old church anymore. Listening to her father give a sermon every Sunday and looking at his disapproving eyes or seeing everyone in the parish glaring at her was far too much for (Y/n) to bear anymore.

(Y/n) wanted to go to a church where no one looked at her like she was front page news, she wanted to be in a church where no one questioned her or looked at her funny or knew anything about her. Back home everyone knew everyone, there were no secrets so people looked at (Y/n) because she was the Reverend's daughter who suddenly turned a rebel and got pregnant and engaged rather young. It was like a stigma attached to her and everyone thought she was doing something wrong.

Not going to church made (Y/n) feel like she was losing her faith and this church was close to home and it was different, no one knew her here. But now (Y/n) was standing in the rather small but quaint church, she felt out of place.

Ben told her to have some confidence in herself and ignore everyone else but it was easy for him, Ben wasn't like her.

Ben was a killer and there were a lot of people who knew that, but there were still a lot of people who admired or just liked him. He had tattoos littering his whole body, he had scars and a crooked nose from fighting and he always had broken knuckles. He had a physical appearance that stood out to people but that gave him his confidence, he didn't care who stared at him or what anyone thought of him. Ben walked down the street like he owned the world and it worked for him.

(Y/n) wasn't like that. She grew up trying so hard to be the perfect daughter, to be a good little angel that everyone could admire and get along with. But now she wanted to be different, she wanted to be a grown up.

She wanted people to look at her and see a young woman who was shy but in no means a little girl. (Y/n) wanted people to see that she was going to be a mother and that she was now married and not think anything of it. But she didn't have the confidence that Ben did which she so wanted to have because it would stop her from thinking everyone was glaring at her or whispering or thinking about her.

When (Y/n) spotted an empty aisle on the left, she moved over and sat down in the middle, wanting to hide out the way of everyone but she knew Ben would chide her if she ever sat at the back like she didn't belong.

Somehow it felt more calming to (Y/n) that there weren't many people in this church, it seemed small and sweet, less people to judge or fall out with.

(Y/n) absentmindedly started to play with the cross hanging around her neck as she hoped the sermon would start soon, her headache was starting to get a lot worse than it had been earlier and she was starting to feel sick. Her eyes fell closed when the reverend finally started the sermon but (Y/n) opened her eyes during the first prayer when she heard a shuffling noise. It felt like her heart was a rocket and had taken off without her when she watched a lady roughly in her mid-twenties sit down rather close to her.

"Haven't seen you here before, are you new around here? I'm usually late but I'm actually near enough on time today. I'm Jamie." She spoke rather quickly with a wide but still gentle smile the moment the prayer finished.

(Y/n) had spoken to a few people during church but she was either sat up front with her family or she was glared at and then stayed quiet. Talking or murmuring during sermon was usually frowned upon, even if the sermon was about something that wasn't as interesting or captivating as it normally was.

Jamie had long dark ginger curly hair with the front half of her hair pinned back to keep it from her eyes. She seemed rather tall, taller than (Y/n) at least, and she had hazel brown eyes and a nose that curved at the end. She seemed like she had a big personality and in (Y/n)'s experience, she wasn't the kind of person who attended church.

"I'm (Y/n)... I'm new to this church." (Y/n) kept her voice quiet but she offered Jamie a smile.

"Is your fella not the religious type?"

(Y/n) shook her head, unsure how to respond to that because Jamie didn't sound like she was being rude or intrusive, she was smiling and looked like she was desperate for a friend to talk to. She didn't seem like she was interested in today's sermon at all. Her eyes danced between (Y/n)'s stomach that she was tracing her hand over and the ring on (Y/n)'s finger.

"I'm with him on that one. My mother in law is a witch, doesn't like anyone who isn't religious so I started to come to church so I could my my fella without her going insane. I don't mind religion but I don't believe in it. Sermon's are alright though, talk about some good topics and I like the reverend, he listens, you know?"

Jamie reeled off information like she was being interviewed but she seemed to (Y/n) like the kind of person who didn't care about what people thought of her. She was someone like Ben, someone that (Y/n) wanted to be like too.

"What about you? What's your story?"

It didn't feel like the right time or place to be getting to know someone when they were in church. But at the same time, today's sermon was about redemption and (Y/n) had had too much of that to last a life time and the last sermon about this made her feel uneasy. What harm would talking do? No one else seemed to care that they were chatting.

"My father's a reverend, he doesn't like my husband or my choices so I moved churches." A flurry of butterflies swarmed through (Y/n)'s unsettled stomach the moment the word husband slipped through her lips. She never thought she'd ever get to say that to anybody, she never thought she'd be married before Joe or Cora. But it felt so amazing and so right to say that Ben was now her husband after they got married last week.

"That's his loss, marry who you want, don't try and change for anyone. I didn't become religious I just pretend so my mother in law doesn't have a heart attack. Don't worry, no one will judge here, everyone knows I'm not religious and they don't say nothing about me being here every week. Are you alright, you don't look too well?"

"I'm just tired." (Y/n) managed a smile before she glanced back over at the reverend.

(Y/n) tried to chip in here and there when Jamie kept the conversation going because she was making an effort to talk to (Y/n), whether it was because she herself was lonely or she thought (Y/n) could use the company, she didn't know. But (Y/n) appreciated the gesture and she didn't want to be rude, she didn't have too many friends and Jamie seemed like someone she might be able to get along with. At the very least she could be someone (Y/n) could talk to on a Sunday at church if not anywhere else or outside of church.

But (Y/n) wanted to go home.

This church was fine, the people seemed nice because they weren't glaring at her or even looking at her and the reverend seemed very passionate and was giving a good sermon. But (Y/n) didn't feel well and everything had been up and down lately like a roller-coaster.

(Y/n) and Ben got married last week, then she saw her mother two days after the wedding and had to hurry home to escape an argument. She had a new lease of life now, (Y/n) had a life that was all her own and she loved it and now she was married to Ben there wasn't anything to worry or fret over and she got the life she always wanted. She just had to get used to not having Joe or her family around anymore.

Tipping her head back, (Y/n) slouched down on the rather uncomfortable wooden bench that was cutting into her back. She didn't know how to sit to alleviate the tense feeling in her stomach that was making her feel sick and her head was pounding like it was being hit with a hammer.

(Y/n) glanced down at the ring on her finger with a small smile before she started to smooth her hands over her stomach. She was almost six months pregnant now and that meant a lot of her clothes didn't fit anymore but rather than buying loads more clothes, (Y/n) opted for taking a few of Ben's instead. His shirts were large on her anyway considering his height and muscle span and the one (Y/n) had on today was a plain white shirt that fit her perfectly without being too tight or way too loose.

It was easier to wear his clothes that were comfy than fuss about getting other clothes that were both the right size for her ever-changing shape and that felt comfy.

The moment the sermon ended (Y/n) couldn't have been more thankful, it was rather straining to keep listening to both the reverend and to Jamie when her stomach was starting to twist and she was sure she was going to be sick.

When (Y/n) stood up she felt all the blood drain from her head and rush down to her toes that were tingling but she did her best to ignore the feeling and head out of the church. Ben was supposed to be meeting her so they could walk down to the club but (Y/n) knew she was going to have to go home rather than to work today with how she was feeling.

A surge of relief rumbled through (Y/n) when she saw Ben leaning against his car with a cigarette clasped tightly between his lips.

Ben leaned down and flicked the cigarette on the pavement, stubbing it out with the heel of his shoe when he saw (Y/n) approaching. His lips curved into his usual devilish smirk before they parted to breathe out the smoke from his cigarette.

"Hey doll... what's up?" Ben's head ticked to the side and his eyes narrowed when he noticed the look on (Y/n)'s face. For a moment he wondered if she didn't like being at a different church or if she didn't get along with the people but the closer she got, Ben realised she looked unwell rather than upset.

When (Y/n) got within reach, Ben gently rested his hands either side of her face and started brushing his thumbs over her cheek. (Y/n) held onto his wrists like she was trying to hold herself upright but all she wanted to do was go home and go to bed to see if sleep might make her feel any better.

"I don't feel very well." (Y/n) closed her eyes to try and rid herself of the headache that was raging behind her eyes. Her heart fluttered in her chest when she felt Ben kissing her temple before he moved his hands so he could wrap his arms around her and pull her into his chest. It felt so lovely yet weird to be able to hug Ben and be affectionate with him outside a church without fretting that anyone (Y/n) knew was going to see them and tell her family.

"Alright, well I'll just grab a few things from the club and then we'll go home."

"No, you said you were working today-"

"I'm not leaving my pregnant wife home alone when she isn't well, I don't need to be at the club anyway, Mark can cope on his own for the day."

The pain in (Y/n)'s head and stomach evaporated for a split second and her lips curved into a smile when she looked up at Ben when those words passed through his lips. She didn't think she was ever going to get used to hearing him calling her his wife, it was one of the best things to hear and hearing it come from Ben's lips was pure magic. Just like when he called her a good girl it felt so different and almost empowering when it used to make her feel childish and stupid whenever her parents called her it.

"Come on." Ben leaned down to steal a kiss from (Y/n)'s lips before he motioned to the car, he knew the sooner he got (Y/n) home the better. She had been restless last night and she didn't look too well this morning either but she seemed worse now.

The drive from the church to the club didn't take very long but when they got there Ben noticed (Y/n) looked more uncomfortable than before. She didn't know how to sit to try and feel better and trying to close her eyes and go to sleep didn't seem to make her feel any better.

"Do you want to wait here, I'll be five minutes."

Ben studied (Y/n) for a few seconds, watching the way she turned her head in his direction but kept her eyes closed and slouched down in the seat until he was sure she was going to slide onto the floor. She had her head pushed back into the seat and her hands rubbing over her bump like she was trying to alleviate the pain. Ben leaned over and kissed (Y/n)'s temple when she nodded before he reluctantly got out of the car. He was sure that he might have to take her to the doctors rather soon if she got any worse, there was no way he was staying at the club with (Y/n) like this.

After a few minutes, (Y/n) pushed herself up into a proper sitting position in the seat and opened her eyes that felt groggy like she had been asleep for hours.

She scanned her eyes around for a few seconds as if she expected Ben to suddenly appear. She knew he was only here to pick up some of the rotas and finance sheets so he could go over them at home but knowing Ben he was caught up talking to someone. But when (Y/n) looked over at the entrance to the club, her eyes widened when she saw Ben stood arguing with Joe.

Why was Joe here? What was he doing, what were they arguing about?

Getting up and out of the car made (Y/n) feel sick and she wanted to to sit straight back down but she couldn't. She had to go and see what they were arguing about and make it stop, she wanted to go home and Ben was either going to lose his temper with Joe or Joe would make some kind of threat to him.

"If you don't have a warrant, you're not getting inside so I suggest you leave. Wouldn't want any of my guys to throw you off the property, would you?" Ben folded his arms over his chest, tapping his finger against the folder he was holding in his right hand as he looked Joe dead in the eyes. There was no way Joe was getting in the club to look around if he didn't have anything to say he had to be in there.

Joe seemed like he was about to respond but he stopped himself when he watched Ben turn and look at something over to the left. Both men seemed to become still when they watched (Y/n) advance over to them.

"Joe, why are you here?" (Y/n) rubbed her hand over her temple as she looked at her brother, feeling uneasy about talking to him after he told her she would be on her own if she walked out. He had always supported her but this had put him in the middle and he didn't choose her, he chose his job.

"I'm here to see the club after a few reports came in." There was something in Joe's eyes that made (Y/n) want to shrink in on herself and hide away. It was like he didn't want to recognise her, he wanted to forget her like that would be so much easier than this.

"And you've been told you can't go in without a warrant and if you hang around out here we'll call your friends down the station for harassment." Ben rolled his eyes at Joe who looked like he was a child being told he couldn't play with his favourite toy. He knew very well if he didn't have grounds to enter the club he wasn't getting in, no police got in without reasonable cause or a warrant.

And if he did hang around Ben or his workers would have no problem calling the police and accuse Joe of harassment.

"Doll come on let's go home." Ben reached over and gently took (Y/n)'s arm when she looked a bit unsteady. He wasn't hanging around arguing this any longer when there was no point and he had to get (Y/n) home since she wasn't well.

"You don't have to control her." Joe felt like walking away, he knew he wasn't going to get into the club now that Ben was here and had instructed his men not to let Joe anywhere past reception. But he still felt that somehow, he could change (Y/n)'s mind. He wanted to change her mind on Ben and get her away from a man who had the capability of harming or even killing her. She was his sister, she was his baby sister who he loved and she was making a mistake in his eyes.

"Don't you dare start that shit with me. I'm not controlling her I'm taking her home because she isn't well now do us all a favour and fuck off."

Ben moved his hand from (Y/n)'s arm to her waist before he turned away from Joe. He wouldn't stand here and be accused of controlling (Y/n) or doing something wrong or like he was on the edge of hurting her because he wasn't.

Turning her head to the right, (Y/n) pressed her face into Ben's shoulder like he would somehow make all the pain evaporate and disappear. All she wanted to do was go home and go to sleep to see if it would make her feel any better. But the pair of them got less than five steps away from Joe before (Y/n) had to stop. Ben tilted his head to look down at her when (Y/n) reached her hand out and quickly dug her fingers into his shirt so tightly and quickly that he could feel her nails scratching against his chest.

"Baby, what's wrong?" There was a lot of caution in Ben's voice as his arm tightened around her waist and he leaned his head down to look at her properly but (Y/n) buried her head into his side.

Ben could feel (Y/n) trembling against him but a violent shiver ran down his spine when she seemed to swallow a cry of pain that vibrated against the back of her throat to the point Ben felt the cry rattle through him too. He watched her hand move down to cradle her stomach which suggested that was the source of her pain and that made Ben want to scream.

"Okay, okay baby shh." When (Y/n)'s knees felt like they were giving way, Ben held onto her tighter to stop her from collapsing onto the gravel. He pressed his lips to the top of her head as he tried to think.

There was clearly something wrong, this wasn't normal pains or little cramps and Ben knew he couldn't take (Y/n) home and pray she would feel better. He had to take her to the hospital to get her checked over and sort this out because she had only got worse over the course of the day.

"What have you done to her?" Joe felt his stomach tightening as he hurried over to the pair. He wanted to leave but he could never turn his back and just walk away when (Y/n) was clearly in pain. Whenever they were little she would always run to him if she fell over or had an accident or generally felt ill and he would sit with her and watch movies and try to make her feel better. All Joe wanted to do was revert back to the time when they were little and things were okay.

Ben snapped his head to the side and looked over at Joe with a thunderous glare and a tightened jaw that was about to snap. How did he have the nerve or the balls to imply Ben had hurt her when Joe himself cast (Y/n) out the moment he found out about Ben?

That question didn't deserve a reply so Ben looked back at (Y/n) who he had to focus his attention on.

Ben tried to get (Y/n) to stand up straight so he could try and walk her back to the car but the moment (Y/n) tried to straighten up a whine escaped her lips and her hand pressed tighter to her stomach. The pain suddenly felt like her insides were on fire or as if she had been stabbed and standing up straight made it worse. She wanted the pain to go away, (Y/n) wanted to be wrapped up in bed with Ben with no pain and no worries or problems at all.

"What have you done? Have you punched her? I swear to God if you've laid a hand on her-"

"I never laid one hand on her in all the time she's been with me and if I had, why the fuck would she be clinging to me right now?" Ben didn't want to stand and argue when he was holding (Y/n) up who was clearly in agony right now but he wasn't having Joe interfering and implying anything like that.

"It hurts." (Y/n) whispered the words into Ben's shoulder but her voice was shaky and all she wanted to do was lay down and curl up into a ball but she couldn't with how Ben was holding her weight up for her.

"I know baby, but I'm taking you to the doctor now." Ben mumbled the words against her hair before he moved to keep both arms secure around her waist without trying to add any touch or pressure onto her stomach.

"She's cradling her stomach like you've punched her-"

"That's enough! How fucking sick are you? I don't give a shit if you say I kill people but I care very much that you'd imply I'd punch my pregnant wife in the stomach. Now she's in agony and I'm not standing here fighting with you I'm taking her to the hospital and you are not coming with us."

Ben pushed Joe out of the way when he tried to get closer to (Y/n) and the fire in Ben's eyes made Joe freeze. Ben didn't care how many rumours went out about him, he couldn't care less if people thought or whispered that he was a murderer and Joe was in the police, it was to be expected that he would think and say that. But he wouldn't have Joe acting and implying that Ben was so vicious he would start abusing (Y/n) a week after marrying her.

Nor would he have Joe spouting comments that he thought Ben had punched her in the stomach. She was pregnant and no matter how many people Ben could beat up, abuse and kill, hurting a woman was something he found very hard to do and he couldn't hurt (Y/n) in that way and risk harming her and the baby. If Ben did that there would be no point in him marrying her because he would have to not care about her or the baby at all to hurt her like that.

"Baby- baby shh, let's get you in the car."

Ben could feel (Y/n)'s tears soaking into his shirt and her grip on him was causing them both to shake with how badly her hand was clutching his shirt. He held her as much as he could without adding too much pressure onto her because he didn't want to put her in any more pain than she already was.

He had to get her to hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doll, the midwife's here." Ben kept slowly carding his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair in a methodical rhythm, brushing the strands from her eyes and pushing them back behind her ear.

He knew she was tired, the moment they got to the hospital and (Y/n) was seen to by a midwife Ben knew she would be asleep soon. The medication they gave her made her drowsy to the point she could barely keep her eyes open and that was two hours ago. Since then she'd been curled up on her side facing Ben, opening her eyes occasionally to look at him but she was too tired and drowsy to talk.

But Ben knew she would want to hear what the midwife had to say and since he knew (Y/n) was half awake right now it wasn't as if he was waking her up, she had plenty of time to sleep later.

(Y/n) felt like her head was in a washing machine spinning on a continuous loop that just made her want to close her eyes and drift asleep. Ben's hand brushing through her hair was both lulling her to sleep but keeping her awake by giving her something to focus on. The horrible pain in her stomach that she felt at the club turned into what (Y/n) could only think of as spasms but as soon as she was given medication the pain went away and she couldn't have been more thankful.

Moving her hand, (Y/n) rubbed her eyes for a moment before she groggily turned her head to look at the midwife who had a calming smile on her face as she moved over to sit down on the chair next to Ben. She clearly knew that (Y/n) couldn't find the energy to lift her head, let alone sit up in bed.

"How do you feel Mrs Hardy?"

"A bit better." (Y/n) rubbed at her eyes again before looking back at the midwife with a tired but small smile. She didn't feel ill or sick anymore which was something good at least.

"That's good news. Now, the ultrasound and tests we performed when you were brought in show that the pain was because you've suffered a placental abruption."

(Y/n) turned her head a little so she could look over at Ben instead but he looked just as confused and worried as she did. Neither of them knew what that was and they didn't know if that was something they should be overly worried about or not. When Ben brought (Y/n) in he was sure she was having some kind of miscarriage or very early labour. But for the past two hours no one had been rushing in and out of the room once (Y/n) was sedated so he took that as a good sign that the baby was okay too.

"What is that?" Ben stopped brushing his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair so he could look at the midwife and concentrate on what she was saying.

"It's where the placenta starts to come away from the lining of the womb and it's a serious condition. It can affect the baby's growth and increase your risk of premature labour."

"So what do you do for that?" Ben glanced back across at (Y/n) but he felt his heart jumping in his chest when he saw her move her hand to rub across her stomach to try and reassure herself of something. As if she was asking the baby if they were alright and making sure they were still there.

"You're only twenty-three weeks at the moment so we have to play cautious, the abruption is minor at the moment which is what we want. For now, we'll keep you under observation for a week because if you go into labour now, I'm afraid you won't class as a viable pregnancy. Once you're at twenty four weeks we can assess the abruption again and hopefully send you home if it isn't worse. Once home you'll need to be very careful and soon put on bed rest because the abruption won't get better."

(Y/n) closed her eyes and pressed her hand more firmly against her stomach like she was trying to feel the baby she wanted to protect. If she went into labour now it would count as a miscarriage rather than a birth and the chances of the baby being okay were almost non-existent. They would be too small and underdeveloped which meant for now (Y/n) had to be monitored so that didn't happen. As soon as she was passed the twenty four week marker if labour happened it could be better managed and have a better chance of survival for the baby.

"What if it gets worse?" (Y/n) didn't want to think about the what ifs but she couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that something could happen. If this wasn't something that would fix itself or get better or manageable then what would the outcome be if it got worse?

"Well when we send you home after a week or so, you'll get regular scans and checkups to make sure it isn't getting worse and you will be limited in what you can do. But if it does start to get worse, we will bring you back in for monitoring and if any complications arise or it does escalate, we will be looking at induced premature labour. But for now you don't have to panic because you've had no bleeding and the abruption is very small."

The midwife smiled kindly before she excused herself to let them have a few moments to think and talk it over.

"Baby, this is good news considering it could have been a lot worse or you could have gone into labour. You're both okay, this just means you have to stay in bed and let me do everything."

(Y/n) wanted to protest but she didn't have the energy or the nerve right now, it was clear she wouldn't be able to do very much in case it made the condition worse and she knew Ben well enough to know he wouldn't let her do very much either. He was right, they were lucky that the abruption was minor and it wasn't a miscarriage or so bad that they went into labour now. They just had to play it safe from now on.

"Get some sleep, it's not like we have anywhere to be." Ben started to brush his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair again and watched as she closed her eyes again, looking like it wouldn't take too long for her to fall back asleep. Just as (Y/n) started to let her mind drift, her stomach fluttered when she felt Ben's free hand moving to caress her stomach.

[dawniebb]

Closure pt. 4

I already want to get rid of this so...yeah. This is the last chapter, and it’s about Honey; for those who don’t know, this is a little series about grief, from the canon divergence I share with @healing-winston-pratt. This is the last chapter in the collection :)

You can use this post as a masterlist; you will also find the link to the canon divergence explanation there: https://dawniebb.tumblr.com/post/627798366140694528/closure-pt-3

Tag list: @novadreamer95438 @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety @obsidianfr3sk

-.-

Honey

Whispers

You said it was a wasted promise I thought it was a waste of time You said it was the perfect crime

Nova turned the car’s engine off and leaned her back against the backrest, turning her gaze up towards the ceiling. A few seconds after that, she closed her eyes.  

She then tried to enter into a full silence zone, until the outside noises started coming through the closed windows, letting her know that it was time; so, straightening her posture, Nova reached for the brown paper bag she was carrying in the backseat, before proceeding to take the bouquet of flowers that was driving with her in the passenger’s seat, leave the car and start heading out.

She hadn’t been in Gatlon’s cemetery many times, but given that she had a pretty good sense of location, she trusted she wouldn’t see herself in the need to go back to the entrance and ask the gatekeeper for directions; besides, it wasn’t like getting lost were that easy, taking into account what was it that she was looking for. After all, the zone she was heading to seemed to shine under the light of a spotlight.

They were called the Fallen Ones. Renegades and, ever since a couple of years ago, Anarchists; Renegades and Anarchists whose lives had been taking during battle; martyrs; Cragmoor inmates who had been proven to be innocent when it was already too late; civilians who hadn’t survived the Second Battle for Gatlon…all of those people that Nova had lend her voice to, once she convinced the Council everyone had the same right to speak as them.

Even those who were already gone.

If she hadn’t spoken up, maybe these people would still be in the “regular” area of the cemetery, or in the common pit.

The second gate, which led to the Aisle of the Fallen, was always open to the public, for those who had a loved one who rested there or the…curious ones who enjoyed necroturism.

When Nova stepped into the stone pathway, she not only felt she was entering a different cemetery, but a completely different world instead; like an alternative universe where death was considered a very long, well-deserved nap and a temporary goodbye, instead of a reason to cry and mourn.

Despite being overshadowed by the mausoleum Georgia Rawles and Evander Wade shared, the rest of the headstones managed to catch Nova’s eye, with their vivid colors and their pure aura, materialized in white marble; others were rather austere and modest…but there were some others, like the ones who belonged to Renegades who were no longer among the living, that even got to the point to have statues (Genissa Clark’s, for example), and were surrounded by fresh and healthy-looking flowers, helium balloons, letters and even significant objects, like plushies, books or other stuff.

With a sudden bittersweet taste in her mouth, Nova kept walking through that trail that, more than looking like a cemetery, it looked like Walk of Fame.

A gust of wind brought the overwhelming and cloying odor of flowers, and Nova couldn’t decide whether she was nauseous or just dizzy, so she elected to ignore that sensation and found some comfort in the sound of her soles hitting against the crushed stone.

After a while, she moved into the back of the Aisle of the Fallen, where the newest graves were being displayed. The spot around Georgia and Evander’s mausoleum.

For the first time, she managed to confirm that what she was feeling was nausea; although, a different type of nausea from the one she had been feeling the last couple of weeks; it was easy for her to discern that, this time, she was intoxicated by insanely high levels of adrenaline, as she felt, from one moment to another, how nothing about seemed fitting or adequate for this situations; she wasn’t wearing pretty clothes, she wasn’t wearing any makeup, she wasn’t wearing the right shoes, she hadn’t even brushed her hair; she didn’t look…presentable.

Nevertheless, she was already here, and she refused to leave.

As she got closer, her steps became slower, as if she were driving a car and was trying to avoid a big hole she had spotted in the distance, but fortunately (or unfortunately), she managed to get to her destination, and there she was.

Or at least, what was left of her in the living world (that is, in case another world existed).

Suddenly, the air became scarce and Nova just remained there, looking at her, at the same time her hand was tightening around the bouquet, reminding her why was she there in the first place. Thus, before she fully regretted having come here in the first place, she carefully got on her knees and gulped.

For a moment, Honey Harper’s headstone seemed to be greeting here back when she did, with a small, solemn head motion.

Nova had contributed with the money for that headstone, along with Winston and Leroy; but, unlike them, she had refused to see the finished product until today. More than ten years later.

Given the fact this was the headstone for an Anarchist as important as her, it didn’t get half of the attention the Renegades’ ones got, as Anarchists were generally conceived as something bad and not worth remembering; however, janitors were still requested to clean it and let Leroy or Winston know when it needed some type of reparation. For instance, it was safe to say it was in a good condition.

Taking into account what Honey would have wanted, they chose a bee-shaped stained glass, ornamented with a subtle and small crown by its head; it shone under the sunlight, and Nova, wholeheartedly, hoped that would cover the cold simplicity of the inscription where, written in italic letters, could be read:

Honey Harper. “Queen Bee”.

Anarchist.

That was it.

No emotional message added; no “And when the world needed a Queen, there was you” or “You will be missed”; not even a hypocritical “A great Anarchist, peer and mother”.

Mother?

Was there any possibility Honey would’ve liked that?

Did Honey ever consider herself to be that?

Nova didn’t know. Her therapist hadn’t had the answer for that either. And since she didn’t seem to be able to find it by herself, she had given up…because, in the end, the only person who could actually answer that was a few feet below the ground Nova was kneeling on.

Nervous, she licked her own lips and, consequently, pulled them apart, speaking in a voice that didn’t sound like hers at all. Not even when she heard it in her own head.

“I’m making a comeback…and I brought you roses, because they’re super dramatic like you.” She said, putting the bouquet in front of the headstone as if she were offering a sacred object. “But…they’re in white and yellow…without sunflowers, though…because for some reason I completely forgot sunflowers have your favorite colors in them.”

If she wanted to be honest, she considered it to be a pretty cute bouquet, with the same colors a bee had and everything…

Still, she wasn’t lying when she said she had forgotten about the existence of sunflowers. Bringing sunflowers could’ve been way easier…but, again, she hadn’t had a clue until she left the flower shop and saw a bouquet of sunflowers displayed outside.

“I don’t know.” Nova scratched her own arm. “…maybe you didn’t like sunflowers because they’re funny and sort of…me…yeah.”

She bit her lip.

“You would’ve compared me to a sunflower, now that I think about it.” She told the headstone. “You did call me a cute drone once, so…if you’re a rose then I must be a…equally cute but… more…alternative flower, I guess…”

As the nervous laugh started escaping her mouth, Nova decided it was time to remain in silence for a couple of seconds, until she recovered her will.

She wasn’t good at talking, let alone making monologues…but, in the end, she continued what she had started.

“You used to say I was a rough one.” She said, gulping. “And I never said anything because…you weren’t wrong. But maybe you were too… I mean, you were. Absolutely. You demolished a government and that stuff…But I guess you were too…too you to find other adjectives to describe other people. And, like, you had everything I still have to live without to this day…and after all, that was just you. Not that you …awful…”

She chuckled involuntarily.

“…attitude was fine. But we were used to it.”

Nova started at the headstone, waiting for a signal that, of course, never came. And, after sighing, Nova reached for the paper bag, and took the honey jar from it.

“Lately…” She began, still holding it between her hands, gently. “I’ve been drinking a lot of tea… but when I first started drinking it, I needed honey to sweeten it…but you’re no longer here, so I looked everywhere throughout Gatlon until I came across this…organic store in the downtown market. Turns out the owner runs a honey farm, and that’s where I’ve been getting my honey from. It doesn't taste the same, but it’s a little close...way closer than the one from the supermarket, I must say and I… I don’t know why I brought it here because you didn’t like to share your honey but you went apeshit every time somebody brought honey from the street to the tunnels…but I guess that…I don’t know. That’s just what I’ve been up to.”

After that last sentence, she placed the jar next to flowers, and once she saw both things together, next to each other, she felt like an idiot.

However, she also noticed they didn’t look that bad.

In that moment, she became speechless, as if that scene had been enough to shatter and destroy the willpower she had managed to accumulate, and the sound had abandoned her body. She felt intimidated.

But, once again, she refused to run away.

Nova didn’t run away, because that was what she had been taught, and also what she had been reminding herself through all these years; she stayed there, with her hands still on her lap, observing the glass bee that stood in front of her; the same bee that, for a moment, looked like Honey herself, imitating Nova’s posture like a mirror that reflected everything Nova had been after Ace took everything from her.

Being conscious it was nothing but a fantasy of what she desired to see, Nova fought the urge to touch Honey Harper, who was staring back at her with a neutral expression; her perfect skin; her bouncy, shiny blonde curls; her sharp nails with shimmering nail polish, and the sweet smell emanating from her body.

Honey Harper was gone in a blink, as fast as she had appeared, but Nova’s gaze remained fixated in the spot where she had previously been.

“The trigger…is one of the heaviest things I’ve ever had to pull.” She said in a low, hoarse voice. “And…If I’m being honest, I’ll never be able to understand how you guys did it so…easily. “

So then, before she had time to regret it or reconsider it, Nova held her hand forward, until she was able to touch the bee, forcing the words she had been keeping for herself for years to come out.

“I don’t know where you went, Honey. Or if…you went anywhere at all.” She lowered her gaze, only to lift her head up again a couple of seconds later.

“But I hope you know that you hurt me, and I hurt you…but it’s all forgiven. So I hope you can forgive me too.”

Heart pounding, Nova caressed the inscription.

“You were out of control. Someday you’ll understand.”

Being that said, she tried to shake the dreadful sensation out of her body and got on her feet, taking the dust off her jeans with her palms.

“I l…” Nova closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose. “I...I’ll see you later.”

Hoping her broken voice had gone unnoticed, Nova turned around.

She waited until she was far enough from Honey’s headstone, in the privacy of her car, to use her empty arms to hold herself; she had come into terms with the fact she had no more tears to shed from that night at the cathedral, but she still teared up a bit.

Then, as she felt the closure her heart had been pleading to have, she finally managed to smile a little, as the position of her arms changed, moving towards her belly.

Deep down, through the unknown itch and the foreign feeling of freedom, a thought crossed her mind. About how Honey always claimed to be able to know when a woman was expecting just by staring into her eyes.

And for some reason, it seemed funny to her.

Maybe, when her baby bump was a little more noticeable, she would come back to visit and tell her all about it.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: My Private Happiness (baon)

Summary: Sans is having a day. Maybe a couple days, hell, a collection of them. Prequel to the actual series.

Tags:  Kustard, Pre-Spicyhoney, Angst, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mentions of Therapy, Lemon Goodness

Notes:  

Okay, so, this is set after Last Minute Gift

In terms of the series, it’s right before Pillars of Creation, Edge and Stretch’s first ’date’.

I really need to make a chronological list of the kustard stories, Sans and Red are pains in my ass, and that’s a fact. :P

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

When the doors opened up at the Ebott stop, Sans got off the bus, for once not bothering to toss a ‘don’t call bus, we’ll call you’ or ‘your park is worse than your bite’ to the driver. The bus stop was right outside the Security checkpoint, and on the other side was a Monster-driven shuttle to bring all the riders into New New Home proper.

Normally, Sans wouldn’t have bothered with it. His shortcuts were enough to take him to his own front door, further than Stretch or Red could manage even on their best days. But today he climbed on with the rest, shuffling to the back of the bus to sit, his skull leaning against the window and his sockets closed before the shuttle even pulled away.

Being on the bus at all wasn’t his normal. He could drive, but never bothered to get a car. Usually he rode in to the Embassy with Paps, more rarely with Blue or even Edge since none of them ever pried a stick out of their pelvis enough to skip a day of work. Hitching a ride was easy and he didn’t have any of Stretch’s qualms about begging favors.

Today he didn’t feel like riding with anyone.

The card Paps gave him last night was in his pocket, the sharp edges poking his femur whenever he moved.

“I won’t force you to go,” Papyrus told him. His normal earnest energy was banked, visibly straining against his uncommon seriousness, “but I do want you to consider it. You’ve been doing so much better, Sans, I am so proud of you. But. You could be really happy, if you wanted to, I know you can.”

He sank down to his knees and hugged Sans like he hadn’t since he was a babybones, too tight and too long, and after a minute, Sans returned it. The card went into his pocket without a word, stayed there when he pulled on his shorts again the next day.

Paps wasn’t wrong. He’d been going through the motions a little. Maybe. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He still wasn’t convinced that it never would.

The shuttle slowed at his road and Sans was up before the chime even rang. This time, he gave the driver a grin and a wave, ignoring the flash of confusion in their eye as no pun heralded his exit.

Too bad, they could live without his shining personality for one fucking day.

He and Paps lived at the end of the road, in a cardboard cutout-style house that was exactly the same on either side. Except their house was a sanctuary for lawn ornaments, Papyrus could never resist one. Flamingos and gnomes, fairies and bright, garish sunflowers made of scrap metal. Gyftmas was months ago now but that didn’t stop Santa from greeting anyone who came over to visit, and the collection of bird baths offered any avians accommodations as lush as the finest resort.

Every time the Edgelord walked past the cheery clown with its bright red grin stationed right next to the sidewalk his eye socket twitched, and that right there was worth the price of admission.

Sans trudged down the sidewalk towards that wonderland, but his eye lights were on his sneakers. One of the knots was coming loose as he watched, slowly unraveling until one lace trailed along like a cooked spaghetti noodle. That idle observation seemed to give permission for his mind to let Papyrus wander back into his thoughts.

Looked like he’d given up not thinking along with everything else.

Yeah, Paps was right, wasn’t he--

(wasn’t he always, really, Sans could never hide as much from him as he wished he could, Paps was so cool)

--he was getting by, sure. Doing the Embassy thing, helping out, hell, that was better than Stretch did. Then again, if he was gonna hold himself up to someone for a mental health comparison, Stretch was probably not the best candidate. Everyone knew that, ‘cept maybe Edge who was too busy trying not to let himself know how badly he wanted to get into those ugly pants to fondle some bones. That slow-motion train wreck was the main reason Sans turned Stretch down some months ago when he’d inquired about a quickie, more’s the pity.

Anyway.

Yeah, he was doing better, but even he couldn’t lie himself a fairytale and say he was happy. Fuck, what was happy, anyway?

All came down to the kid. Sans still wasn’t positive about Frisk, even if everything seemed all hunky dory, all of ‘em on the surface, seeing the sunsets and stargazing with real stars.

It all seemed like a pie and cake dream, but he knew what Stretch had gone through back in his own world. Some of Sans’s memories cracked open when they arrived, blurred snippets that matched the few scrawled notes he’d found in the basement. Yellow petals, the insanity of a high, sweet laugh.

Yeah, he’d known about the anomaly from his notebooks, but getting to remember anything of it was another level.

Not that any of ‘em really discussed it, fuck, no. The science behind it, sure, math and equations were sterile, safe. He, Red, and Stretch were bonafide experts at not talking, PhDs unite.

But being Judges gave them the unique perspective, dinnit. Looking into Stretch’s soul and seeing the guilt there, the sins that crawled up his spine about his brother and the Underswap kid…yeah. Unique perspective, that was one way to put it. Sans didn’t blame Stretch one bit for tucking the Judge away, boxing it up in the back of his skull, and refusing to see anymore. Talk about someone doing much better; when Stretch first got here, his soul was so fragile that Red tried to get Sans in on bet that he’d dust within a month. Sans hadn’t taken him up on it, but quietly thought he was right, watching with his own version of apathy that wasn’t much kinder than Red’s, waiting for him to fall down.

That he hadn’t was maybe the ‘Papyrus’ in him, because it sure as hell wasn’t the ‘Sans’, and Sans’s lack of effort to help him back then was a sin of his own waltzing along his backbone.

Stretch was doing a lot better these days, enough to argue with Edge with some pretty nasty zingers. Gossip around the Embassy was that those two finally had a date coming up, at the planetarium of all places. He hoped for all their sanity it went well.

Sanity, heh. He touched the card through his pocket, traced the edges of it. Doctor Lee, psychiatrist, specializing in Trauma and PTSD. A plain white card, the black letters glossy and embossed. He didn’t need to look at it, he remembered every word on it down to the phone number. He almost did anyway but a prickle along his senses made him pause.

Someone was following him.

Hm.

Interesting.

He could easily shortcut into the house, but where was the fun in that.

Instead, he kept trudging along, didn’t so much as change his pace. Passed a lady and her kiddo, gave ‘em a toothy smile. Walked on past Santa, the clown, the gnomes and the vampire flamingo as he headed in the house.

Before he even closed the door, hands were on him, shoving him backwards. Sans stumbled as the door swung shut, slamming hard, and his shoulders struck the smooth surface. Even without those gleaming crimson eye lights, he would’ve known those hands, sharp fingertips prickling through his t-shirt and against his ribs.

“heya sansy,” Red breathed against the side of his skull. “been missing me?”

“kinda a strange question since you were the one getting in some stalking practice.” Sans was pretty proud at how even his voice was considered the way Red was grinding their crotches together. “still need to log some hours before you can get certified?”

Hot breath couched in laughter gusted against his skull, making Sans shiver. “nah, i went pro years ago. but you gotta use a skill or you lose it, yeah?” Those sharp fingertips skimmed lower, down to wear his t-shirt was riding up to barely expose his iliac crest. “speakin’a practice, there’s a thing or three i might need some help with to keep my skill level up.”

He hadn’t been alone with Red since that time at the Gyftmas party and if this wasn’t getting his rocks off, then that memory was. Red pressed against his back, jerking him off, the cold siding of the house beneath his cheekbone and the thrilling fear of being caught.

“yeah? somethin’ you want some help with, huh.” Sans asked. He couldn’t quite achieve boredom, not with his crotch giving him away.

“yeah, been meaning to give my knees a good workout and if you help, i don’t get a crick in my neck.”

Sans exhaled shakily. Paps could be home any minute now, open the door with a jangle of keys, could catch Red blowing him right in their doormat with drool and come running down his chin. His bedroom was right upstairs, the bathroom, hell, the laundry room had a lock on the door.

All Sans said was, “you really want to go with short jokes?”

“can only work with the material you’ve got.”

Red didn’t drop to his knees so much as he slithered, pulling Sans’s shorts carelessly along for the ride. His dick got caught at the waistband and Sans winced as the fabric scraped along the head before it let loose, making his dick bob like a cork in a lake.

Wasn’t any time to bitch about it. Red swallowed him down in one gulp, the hot, velvety magic coating his mouth made Sans choke out a moan. He slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling the next one, but it became a groan of disappointment as Red pulled off.

“don’t you dare, sansy,” he snarled. Those crimson eye lights burned in the darkened foyer. “you let me hear every fucking whimper.”

“yes, boss, whatever you say, boss,” Sans snarked, but sarcasm was a lost cause when Red ducked his head again, a long tongue curling around his shaft. Fuck, so slippery tight, better than a hand. The sound that crept through Sans’s teeth was closer to a yowl and he felt the vibration of a hum of amusement.

Okay, yeah, Sans wasn’t past a little vindictiveness. He grabbed Red’s skull in both hands and jerked him down, thrusting in hard to nudge at the back of Red’s formed throat. Good plan in theory, but Red only swallowed him down easily, let Sans do it again, riding his face rougher than he’d usually dare.

Dimly, Sans could hear another slick sound, a counterpoint to the obscene glick that came with every thrust that glided past Red’s dangerously sharp teeth. He was jerking himself off, his shoulder moving with every stroke, and Red was moaning, shaky and low, deep in his throat and fuck, the feeling of it made Sans quiver down to his toes.

The first splash of come landed on Red’s tongue and he wrested away from Sans’s grip before the second could fall, his hand taking the place of his mouth as he stroked Sans through it, spurts of deep blue streaking across his t-shirt.

“fuck,” Sans croaked out, both in pleasure and dismay. “that’s gonna stain, you shit.”

“guess you’ll have to make a another thrift store run,” Red said with vindictive cheer. A thread of that same blue was running down his chin and Sans wiped it away before it could drip. Red watched, eye lights narrowing as Sans licked that droplet from his finger, tasting the sharp sourness of his own magic.

“that what you wanted?” Sans asked, all false politeness and solicitude. For a long moment there was no answer, only Red staring at him with those demon eye lights.

“yeah, sure,” Red said finally, almost absently distracted. “thanks for the good time, see ya around.”

It was only when Red vanished that Sans got a good look at his own feet and saw the splashes of crimson on his sneakers.

That fucker came on his shoes and didn’t even offer to get him a towel.

Outrage was out of reach and Sans only laughed helplessly, sliding down the door until he was slumped on the floor, shorts around his ankles, his shirt soaked with his own jizz and his shoes dripping with someone else’s.

That card was digging in to his ankle and Sans pulled it out with a wince. It was wrinkled, the card stock creased, but it was still legible.

You could be really happy, if you wanted to. I know you can.

His brother would be home soon, might see him like this, might already know what was going on, Paps was so smart and it wouldn’t be the first time he’d hid his disappointment in Sans behind loud indignation. What was going on? Who the fuck knew, Red’s mind was a maze and Sans was shit at puzzles.

Happy. Could be happy. Maybe.

Sans sighed and pulled out his phone.

-finis-

[queen-iduna-of-arendelle]

Love is an Open Door

For Agduna Week 2020, Day 2: Music; and Part 3 of my brand new ‘Single Mother’ Series

I had to cut a whole fic worth of story and info’s to write this, but don’t worry, part 2 will be written very very soon

ff.net  AO3

Saturday morning and Iduna is already wide awake and dug through her wardrobe. She knew she had a few hours till she’s gonna meet Agnarr —the whole day actually, since they’ll meet around 6pm— but she was just so excited. Actually she was always excited to meet him. But today’s date, he said, is gonna be something special, that just made her even more exciting.

The brunette tried on new outfits for the past hour and still couldn’t decide what to wear for the date. Should she wear something fancy or classic? Or just something she felt comfortable with? But what if he’s dressed fancy and then there’s she wearing a plain shirt and jeans? God, even after 2 years of dating this guy made her crazy! Though, she couldn’t say that she disliked it.

At some point she heard her phone buzzing on the table. She asked him if he could just tell her where they’re going and hopefully now came an answer. Well it was him, but it wasn’t the answer she wanted.

[Wolfy]: It’s a surprise

He ended it with a kissing smiley. Cute. But it’s not helping her! As she kept digging through her wardrobe, she found the dress that he bought for her. It was still weird to date someone as rich as him and at first she refused to accept the gift, but he insisted. He practically pushed the dress into her hands and refused to take it back. What a cute dork he was.

She decided to take this dress and match it with the necklace he also bought her. It was actually very embarrassing to get so many presents from him, while she’s unable to give him something back. Whenever she asked what he’d like for a present he said that being with her was the best present he could ever get. Which was even more embarrassing. But so very cute.

Satisfied with her decision, she put the dress on her bed, before cleaning up the mess she made. Once she was done, she went to the bathroom to have a long, cool shower to calm her nerves.

Once that was done as well and she felt refreshed and calmer than before it’s about to decide how she should style her hair. With the dress being half fancy, her hair could look classic. And so she dried her long hair with a hairdryer and began to braid them into one big ponytail. And her short fringe could stay like that.

Then she put on the dress. It was purple and had some nice accents that looked like crocuses. It just so happened to be her favorite flower, too. The necklace had a pendant in a shape of a hamster. It’s one of her favorite animals and he let it made especially for her. The hamster was covered with different gems that made it look fancier. It surely cost a fortune...And she did feel bad for accepting such an expensive gift. Then she put on a little bit of make-up and she was ready to go.

Just in time to meet Agnarr. Those times really made her realize how long she could take to look perfect for him. Even if he once said that she might as well meet him with bed hair and her most comfy clothes —which are clothes that are way too big for her— and he’d still think she’s beautiful. Of course she’d never do such a thing. Then the doorbell rang and she quickly ran to the door and opened it. “Hey.” She greeted him cheerfully, opening the door wider.

Agnarr leaned down to give her a quick kiss, before accepting her offer to come in. “You look beautiful.” At his compliment, Iduna looked away, blushing and tugged a lose strand behind her ear. “Thanks. You look quite handsome yourself.”

“Thanks, my little crocus.” Then she was suddenly face to face with a bouquet. Iduna was surprised, actually always was, because after two years of dating he really didn't need to give her flowers when they went on a date.

Of course she always accepted the little gift. It was really sweet of him. She took the flowers. “Agnarr, you didn't have to—“

“Stop right there.” He interrupted her, as always and kissed her passionately. And, as always, Iduna was melting into the kiss. When they parted, she wanted to pull him back, but they had to go. “I'll...put them in a vase.” Somehow this is how every date started. But she wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

Iduna went to the kitchen to get a vase and heard Agnarr follow her. “So, where are we going?” She asked again, as she put the flowers in the vase and filled it with water.

“It's a secret.”

“Come one! Tell me!” The brunette pouted, something that always helped her to get anything she wanted from him. But it looked like it didn't work this time...

“Sorry, crocus, I can't. But I can tell you one thing.” Iduna tilted her head, telling him to continue. “I hope you don't mind...Destin and Halima will be there, too.”

“Oh, did he finally ask her out?” She asked, smiling brightly. “Of course I don't mind.” Destin Mattias was like a father figure for Agnarr. His real one wasn't...exactly the best father ever. He even tried to separate them at one point and always accused her that she's only dating Agnarr for his money. But she was really glad that Agnarr didn't believe it. And then Mattias was there and actually cared for Agnarr since he was a kid. Agnarr told her that he even called Mattias 'father', while he called Agnarr 'son'. It's both sweet and sad.

Same went for Halima. Agnarr's mother died soon after he was born and she was his mother figure. When he told her this story, she always wondered why Mattias and Halima weren't dating even thought they obviously loved each other and where already parents to Agnarr.

“Great. I promise, we'll have a lot of fun together.”

Iduna got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I always have fun with you, sunflower.” Agnarr blushed at the nickname, like always. He’s so cute. “Shall we go?”

Agnarr kissed her forehead, still blushing. “We shall.”

-----------------

Agnarr drove them to a bar. At first she thought it’s just a normal bar, until they entered it. It was a karaoke bar. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Agnarr, no. There’s no way I’m gonna sing anything here.” It’s not like Iduna couldn’t sing. Her family, friends and Agnarr said she had a beautiful singing voice, but she was still very self-conscious about her singing.

“You’re singing great, birdy. You’re singing better than an angel.” He praised her, making her even more embarrassed.

“Don’t say such things...”

“But it’s true. Come on, my love. Destin and Halima will sing, too.” Iduna took a moment to think. Mattias wasn’t really the best singer either...and if he’s gonna be brave enough...“Okay.”

“Great! I love you! I promise you’ll have fun. I’ve got the perfect song for us!” Agnarr grinned at her excitedly, and Iduna couldn’t help but become excited as well.

“Some love duet from Disney?” She guessed.

“Of course!” The blonde gave her a peck on the lips, before looking for Mattias and Halima. They told Agnarr that they’re already here and got a good spot near the stage.

“Agnarr, Idy, over here!” Came Mattias voice and then they saw him waving at them. The man stood up to hug them. “Glad you could drag her in here, boy.” He said before letting them go again.

“Well I said it’s a surprise.” Explained Agnarr and looked at her sheepishly.

“Ah, I see, so she just found out?”

“Yes and I’m not happy about it.” Said Iduna and glared at her boyfriend playfully.

“Don’t worry, this is gonna be one of your best dates ever, I promise.”

“You guys promising me a good time is getting suspicious.” The brunette looked at the guys who looked like little boy who got caught taking a cookie.

“Will you believe me more when I say you’ll have a good time?” Asked Halima and hugged her.

“Yes.” Iduna hugged her back. “I’m glad that Mattias finally asked you out.” She said, as they sat down at their table.

“Me, too, sweetie. I thought he’d never ask.” The women laughed at the expense of the boys and they all were sure it’s gonna be like that the whole night.

-------------

For most of the time they drank, ate some snacks and talked about everything. The people that were on the stage were sometimes good, sometimes crazy, sometimes terribly bad, but every time Iduna was glad that she could wait with their performance longer.

Then it was Halima’s and Mattias’s turn on stage and they also chose a Disney song. It’s funny that all four of them were such crazy Disney fans. And if Mattias wasn’t there for Agnarr he’d surely think it’s just for kids, just like his father always told him.

The new couple sang A whole new World from Aladdin and even if Mattias wasn’t the best singer, he tried his best.

But sadly after them it was her and Agnarr’s turn. “Come on, birdy.” Said Agnarr, having to pull her from her chair and onto the stage.

“No, no...” She mumbled anxiously, even if she’s being encouraged by their mother and father figure and practically everyone in this bar.

“You can do it, my love. Just look at me.” Said the blonde, but it was hard concentrating on him when she knew so many people were staring at them.

They got their mics and their song was revealed: Love is an open Door from Disney’s movie The Snowqueen. It was both their favorite movie of all time and knew all lines and songs by heart. But it still didn't make her any less anxious. “Okay...Can I just...say something crazy?” Iduna began, as she music started.

“I love crazy.” Agnarr replied and then it really started. While they sang, Agnarr made sure that she was only looking at him and not at the crowd watching them. It actually made her forget their audience for the whole song.

“Can I say something crazy?” Said Agnarr as the song’s about to end. She knew how the song ended and she knew what she’s gonna say. She’ll say ‘Can I say something even crazier? God, no, are you insane? I don’t even know you!’

But he crushed her plan immediately by actually going down on one knee and pulling out a box with an actual, real engagement ring in it. “Will you marry me?”

Iduna stood there, frozen in shock that he actually pulled this on her. She couldn’t even talk properly. “Can...can I...can I say something...you know...crazier?” She stuttered, watching Agnarr nodding and waiting patiently for her answer. She only realized that she started to cry when a tear was already gliding down her cheek. Sniffling, she began anew. “Can I say something even crazier? Yes!”

The whole bar began to cheer for them, as Agnarr put the ring on her finger. Meanwhile Iduna was hiding her face behind her hand the whole time, too embarrassed to look at anyone. Once the ring was on her finger, she felt Agnarr hug her and lead her off the stage. The applause kept going till they were finally back at their table. “I can’t believe you did this!” Iduna said behind her hands. “I hate you!”

“I love you, too.” He said with such a loving voice and pulled her hands away from her face. Then their foreheads touched and his eyes sparkled happily and with a crazy amount of love in them. “Forgive me?”

Iduna looked away and then saw Mattias holding up his phone. “Wait. Are you filming this?!” She asked pulling away from Agnarr and trying to snatch the phone away from him. But it didn’t work. “Stop filming!” Obviously Agnarr didn’t mind at all that they’re being filmed, as he cupped her face and kissed her deeply. Meanwhile Iduna reached out to grab that stupid phone or at least cover them a bit.

[purplesurveys]

640

Your name, please? Robyn. Are you heartbroken right now? No, my heart’s doing okay. If so, how long have you been heartbroken? Do you like the area you live in? I like that it’s a lot quieter than the metro, but we get everything we could also get in the city nonetheless. Right now it’s just a little unsettling since the Taal Volcano erupted and we have ashfall land all over our house, but otherwise where we live is pretty decent and uneventful for the most part. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It’s not my strongest feature so no, not really. They’re dark brown/almost black.

What facial feature do you like the best on a person? Everyone has their different strong suits, so. Do you like to be called baby? Only by my parents and my girlfriend, because otherwise that would be creepy. What is your favorite flower? I like roses, sunflowers, and peonies. Idk, my answers to this question changes every time so it’s safe to say they’re only my favorites today. When did you last use the restroom? Five minutes ago. I went before starting this. How long is your hair? Pretty long. I haven’t had it cut since late in 2018; if I throw my head slightly back it already reaches my hips. I plan to keep it long until my graduation shoot, so I won’t be going to the salon for at least another month. Do you have braces? I used to. Do you have any freckles? Nope. What is your favorite Internet meme? There was a local meme going around last week and it involved people making hilarious puns out of celebrity names and pairing them with Photoshopped pictures of the celebrities to match the pun – for example, a local celeb named Rico Blanco was styled as Rico Blanket and a photo of him was shopped so that he’s in bed wrapped in a blanket :(((( OK IT DOESN’T SOUND FUNNY RN but all the entries were hilarioussssss I swear. Unfortunately everyone hopped on the meme train and it died in like a week. How many windows does your room have? Two big windows but each have four tiny window panes in them that can be opened. Do you have a rug in your room? What color is it? No. My dog likes peeing on rugs so we don’t like having them laying around. What is the weirdest animal you've ever held? I don’t think any animal is weird... but the coolest ones I’ve ever held are a snake, an eagle, a sea turtle, and a crocodile. The first three I got to meet in Bali, and the crocodile was from Palawan. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. I never really believed in that either. What about caffeine? I get pretty talkative, yes. I also talk like I have built-in exclamation points lol. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? No, I haven’t. Do you have any pregnant friends? None of my friends are, but I can never be sure anymore when it comes to people I know. I always say no to this question, then sooner or later someone I know gives birth kfdgkdjfhd like a classmate from high school just had her third kid and no one even had any idea she was pregnant again. Guess I’ll just keep answering this question with a shrug. Have you seen anyone lately that you knew but didn't remember from where? Yeah, this was me for a few seconds when I arrived in my history class for our first day last Friday and I saw several people that I knew I know, but I had to recollect my thoughts. I eventually remembered who they were, but for a few seconds I was stumped. When was the last time you toilet papered or egged someones house? I’ve never done this, because you don’t do this in the Philippines. Do you usually dress up for Halloween? Some years I would. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? I always get ala carte because I only drink water (I get full quicker if I have any other drink), and service water is always there. Put your favorite color and favorite animal. EX: Silver walrus Pink dog. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I don’t care for drawing and am aware of just how bad I am at it, so I barely make any effort when I have to. When was the last time you snapped at someone? Sunday morning. My mom was playing a mobile game where the character will only be able to move if you scream, so she was screaming her ass off at 7 AM and I was worried it would wake the neighbors up. Does it bug you when people clap with their palms? HAHAHAHAHA like Nicole Kidman? Oh man. I’ve never actually seen someone clap the way she did in real life, so I don’t know if it would bug me. I know it’d send me laughing, though. Have you hugged anyone today? Just my dog. Classes have been suspended because of the Taal erupting, so I’m not seeing anyone else today. How many languages do you know how to say 'happy birthday' in? Filipino, English, Spanish, French, and Korean, so make that five. What language would you like to learn that you don't already know? Korean, just because I watch so many Korean shows as it is lmao. Are you able to take this language at your school? Yes, but it’s not required in my curriculum so I’ve never taken a Korean language elective. Have you ever been into a bar? Yes, I’ve always preferred bars to clubs so I’ve gone to a lot of them. What ethnicity are you? Broadly, Austronesian. But specifically, I’m Filipino, and even more specifically, Tagalog. How much makeup do you wear? None. I usually wear makeup only for special events, or if I absolutely had to, like for my graduation shoot. If you could fly, what kind of wings would you have? I’d like pink sparkly ones please hahahaha. Write some lyrics from the song stuck in your head right now. Nothing’s playing in my head at the moment. Do you like that song? Would you describe yourself as 'fiesty'? You mean feisty? I can bring out that side of me if I have to, but I’m not naturally it. How corny is High School Musical in your opinion? Pretty fucking corny. But I love the series and it’ll always be an important part of my childhood, so I’m never going to hate it. Have you actually read Twilight? Yes. I don’t know how I started getting into it though; I just remember it became insanely popular in the fourth grade and all of a sudden I wanted the Twilight boxed set for Christmas. What about Harry Potter? Yes, I read most of the books. My sister got into HP when she was aroundddd 10-11ish and my parents also got her a boxed set, so I borrowed each book after she finished them. Out of the two, which is better? Twilight.

Name a member of the Beatles! Ringo Starr. Who was the name of your first crush? My first real crush was Andi. How long ago was that? Eleven years ago. Do you still know that person? She migrated to New Zealand nine years ago, so we got disconnected for a long time and that’s when we got cut off. We’re Facebook friends now, but it’s never been the same. Happy for her, though. Can you handle your emotions very well? Usually I can, but when I’m at my breaking point then I’m at my breaking point. How often do you read books? Once every five years :(( JK uhhhhh I read loads, just not from books, and particularly not anything fictional. Are you the jealous type? I can be when there’s reason to, yep. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people's pasts? No. And usually people regret their past, so I don’t feel jealous about that. Have you ever gotten an ear infection from riding an airplane? No. My ears were incredibly uncomfortable during my first plane ride though, and it didn’t help that I was already panicking long before the flight started. Anyway, my ears never fully ~popped and I was like 80% deaf for the entire plane ride. When was the last time you witnessed someone throw up? The last time someone threw up, it was me lol. But if we’re gonna be strict about the question, it wassssss last April I think. When was the last time YOU threw up? Sometime around May last year. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? ME. I’m anyone who faints at the sight of blood. Maybe not literally faint but I do feel super nauseous and weak and dizzy and I’d sometimes gag too. Hmm. I wonder how those girls have their period. Yeah well it’s not a very fun 3-4 days for me, my dude. Don't you just love the Cottonelle puppy? I don’t know what that is. Can you do any 'magic' tricks? No. Do you know how to play Checkers? I used to as a kid, because we used to have lots of board games. But since it was the game we barely ever played, I eventually forgot the rules. What clubs are you in at school? I’m in one of the two journalism organizations, and I also joined the graduation committee this year so that I get to contribute something for our batch :) What do you fear most in this world? Either falling from a very high place or drowning. And injections. What do your siblings fear most in this world? I know my sister is afraid of big crowds, chaotic situations, and small spaces. I don’t know what my brother fears, nor do I really care. What was the last sentence you heard anyone say? I’m listening to a mukbang ASMR right now and the last thing the girl said was her basically describing what she’s about to eat. Is Taylor more of a boy's name or a girl's name? I know we’re not supposed to care about this anymore, but if I really had to think about this question I see it as a boy’s name. But I also see that it works on girls just as nicely, so. What about Dylan? Boy’s name. But it sounds so badass on girls, and I prefer it as a girl’s name. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Dark brown/black. Filipinos all look the same, dude. Are you related to anyone with red hair? No. Do you know anyone with super super green eyes? Other than celebrities, no. What color was your hair when you were little? It has always been black. What color is it now? ^ Were you a chubby baby? I was a pretty chubby young kid especially from the ages of 3-5, but I was an okay-sized baby/toddler. I’d be surprised if I was chubby considering my mom and dad are both slim. What is your favorite mythical creature? Not a fan of those. Do you know anyone with a mullet? No, I don’t think so. Put down a random word here. Watermelon. What is your favorite fruit? Avocado. Now what is your favorite flavor of lollipop? Chocolate. If you combine your 2 above answers and make a perfume would it smell good? Probably not. They’re so different. Do you always feel like you have to be the best? Yes. That’s why I always take it hard when I end up not being that. Are you looking forward to summer? Yes, because I’ll get to rest. No, because it will be my last summer until I die. Are you wearing socks right now or are you barefoot? I’m barefoot. Socks always feels like they’re there, and I don’t like that feeling. What's on your favorite necklace? I’m not regularly wearing any necklace these days. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Around seven, which is okay for me. Which is better: gingerbread or butterscotch? Caramel or peanut butter? Nutella or chocolate? Do you own an iPad? We own a family iPad, but no one’s used it in a while. I was the one who used it last as a means to work and communicate, back when I broke my phone and didn’t have a new laptop yet in my first year of college. I honestly hope that iPad never dies on us, since there’s a load of great memories there. Do you watch Glee? No and as someone who hates song covers, I think I’m better off not watching it skksjfdhgfg. How hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning? When that day would require me to do something I dread, like attend a class I hate, it will be a lot harder for me to get up. But generally I’m pretty okay, as long as I set my alarm 30 minutes to an hour before I actually have to get up so that I have enough time to properly wake up. How many books are in the current room you're in? I’m in the dining room so there are zero books around. Have you ever witnessed an aircraft break the sound barrier? No. I also never really knew what that means, but I know I’ve never seen that. Do you keep a sketchpad in your room? I don’t draw, so I never needed one. Is there anything you do right before you go to sleep? Put water on my dog’s bowl – he likes drinking before we doze off. What color is your favorite purse? I only use one and it’s pink. How much money is currently in your wallet? ₱2,000. Do you get an allowance? Yes. How many songs are on your iPod? Don’t use an iPod these days. Do you usually have sweet dreams or nightmares? My dreams are either weird or nightmares. I never get any sweet ones. How has the weather been lately? It’s a little gloomy and cloudy. I don’t know if it’s an effect of the volcano eruption nearby, or if the weather is just like this. When was the last earthquake you felt? It was either August or September.