#actually not ab/ap for once

[let-me-lyric]

“these are the last blues we’re ever gonna have”— Patrick Stump, January 2018

“I got the quarantine blues” — also Patrick Stump, March 2023

[happy-little-ghost]

Yeah dude I like write for you. No quite literally. When I can't write on my pirate world doc I write to you. I put my stories on 'Notes' hoping someone will see them, if they snatch my phone. I tweet it. I put it where I hope you will see it. I text it, iMessage it, whatsapp it, DM it. I will talk to you, to give you a story, to share a pretty hope of an idea. Remember when I texted you about the stars? About being able to feel them burn on my fingertips when I reached for them under the mountain sky? I have all this ideas on my head and I need for someone to read them. I tell my girlfriend my latest idea for a fanfiction and she tells me to write it. Sit down and write it. I want to text you. I don't need for you to reply to it. But I want you to see it. Isn't that what any artist wants? For their work to be seen?

[lunebits]

ap class tips

for those in ap classes who are struggling. also for those who aren't really. whatever.

just as an intro to my qualifications:

i go to a stem high school (will be graduating next sem!) where all the classes are already advanced as is (our ap classes are also taught differently!) i've taken a total of 10 ap classes during my time, and while that isn't as much as others, i'd say i have a pretty good spread of ap classes i took!

general ap class tips

remember that the ultimate goal for you taking this course is to take the exam and get a 4/5 (reach for that 5!). yes, the grade is important, but that score at the end after that exam might save anywhere from $600-$1200+ in college. so focus your energy on that exam once the exams are encroaching!

make friends in your ap classes. trauma bonding is real (/j) so making friends that will help you study or might save you when you accidentally forgot is key.

and while they all say "study a bit every night!" that's hard to do. the rule of thumb here for every class will be in the categorized sections, so don't worry (i gotchu!!)

ap math (calc ab/bc, stat, physics, chem, etc.)

i personally didn't take physics or chem bc i didn't want to, but i did take bc and got a 5 (yes, i'm so proud)!

rule of thumb for studying at home: do your homework everyday and actually take the time to understand what the hell you're doing. understand what the process is behind solving the problem. be able to pull out the variables. practice, practice, practice. also, this is one of those subjects where it's actually worth it to study it at home everyday.

ANOTHER RULE: practice tests. these math exams are about stamina and speed. if you can solve a problem, great! but now here comes 20 more screaming your name. but, if you can get the timing down before your exam, that's even better. so go waste your saturday afternoon at that mock exam if you need to. another saturday will come in time anyway. ask your teacher for mock exams. get that practice workbook. whatever it takes. get the timing in your hand.

just as a quote from my teacher, "life is about choices, and we are all busy people." don't waste your time doing something that'll waste your time. even if you can't remember it, that's okay. just keep moving and score more points somewhere else. and also, do the easy route. only memorize the easy route.

math is about patterns. patterns rule math. extract that pattern out of that problem, memorize it, and you'll be just fine.

FRQS WILL HURT YOUR BRAIN AND THAT'S OKAY! collegeboard has a very specific way it wants you to answer these questions. the best way to learn the format is to do so many frqs your hands hurt. because in any exam that involves math, you genuinely need to do better on the frqs. they'll land you more points. yes, the mcq might get you that 5, but the frqs become the basic 3 or 4 that you need. your teacher will hopefully teach you the format, but if they don't, the collegeboard ap website has all the past frqs they've ever made.

YOU WILL BE OKAY. I PROMISE. make sure that if you cry, you understand your disappointment then move on to a larger action plan.

ap histories/humanities (art history, u.s history, euro, world, etc.)

i've taken all the histories that my school offers (apush, euro, apwh, apah, etc.)

rule of thumb: don't study at home unless there's a test coming up or you're bad at putting stuff in order.

GET YOUR WRITING SKILLS DOWN PAT. this is the thing that'll get you the most points. that mcq section is a killer, but doing 3-6 (looking at you apah exam) right after might just kill you. so please, get your stamina up. just write. just keep writing.

timeline shit for history. because when it comes down to it, knowing the sequence of events and knowing the events themselves are more important than dates or whatever.

if you're worried about coherency in your writing, jot down a small pre-writing list.

memorize every single rubric. luckily, the dbq/leq rubric is the same across apush, apwh, and euro. you'll get away with just memorizing the two. the apah rubric is a little different, and the ap lit rubric is a little different. just memorize them as best you can.

when writing, cater to your reader. make things easy to spot and easy to grade. they'll give you a higher score if they can clearly see where things are.

just practice mcqs. all the stimulus will have something you can pull out of it (unless it's like apah where you're meant to memorize the works). but every question will have an answer that's in the passage. practice finding that answer. (this one is still really hard)

all these tests are tests of stamina. and sometimes, they're on the same goddamn day because collegeboard hates love us. just keep going. grab a snack. rest your eyes, go.

essays are the bane of everyone’s existence in ap courses because you’re on this strict rubric and have this mythical complexity/sophistication point that you need to give your hopes and dreams of achieving. BUT. but. you’ll be okay. especially for exams like the ap lit/apah exam, you get to come in knowing at least a bit of the exam (for ap lit, a good part of the frq weight. for apah, 90% of the test). TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT!! know a novel inside and out. know the works inside and out. you’ll be okay. stretch your hands, breathe, write.

ap sciences (bio, physics, chem, psych, econ)

i've personally taken bio and both econs, but these are all concept based, so the same general tips apply.

rule of thumb: if you don't understand it in class, you need to study it at home asap. seriously. because you sure as hell won’t be able to put it together during class the next day. whats good though is that there’s so many resources online (esp videos!!) for all the ap sciences that it’s actually crazy.

read your textbook. science is great with a textbook in your hand. you don't even need to read the whole thing. just skim through it to add information to your class notes. most times that works.

because the questions are concept based, the mcq/frqs are a little hard to get used to. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: don’t ignore your responsibilities and learn what these questions look like.

flashcards. USE FLASHCARDS. so much of science is not only understanding concepts but applying them. to apply them, you need to know them by heart. and to know them by heart means flashcards to drill yourself.

and speaking of applying your knowledge, you need to take things slowly. approach questions with this framework: 1) read the problem + understand what concept it’s asking about. 2) pull out that information from your sexy brain. 3) solve the problem based on what you can remember. to truly understand, include a lot of examples in your notes. AND MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY AND HOW THEY WORK. the why and the how are more important than the what.

misc tips 🌷

burnout is inevitable if you don’t manage your time correctly. there’s people online that can explain how to manage your energy more than me so please go watch them instead lmfao

try your best to stay on your schedule. the more you push your tasks to this arbitrary tomorrow, the more you absolutely won’t do them.

honey, you need to bring a snack and a water bottle to those exams, you get like a 10 minute break that isn’t enough for the mental taxation (without representation) that happens on those exams. they’re brutal.

the classes themselves are not as bad you think. i promise. most of the time, you’ll actually have fun. and it’s really cool to be learning at a college level. so keep at it! the moment you hate something, the moment you begin to stop trying as hard and your grades start slipping. keep finding the next thing to delude yourself into enjoying (/hj).

[itsjustaturt]

I can't believe during the AB/AP portion I actually thought they'd play Centuries after Uma Thurman. no. they fooled me once again. The Kids Aren't Alright attack 10000000000 damage

[laughingfcx]

OKAY ITS DUE TIME FOR ME TO SEND U A YAP ASK ‼️‼️😋 LINA SUGARPLUM MUFFIN LOLLIPOP HONEYPIE (by jawny???) HOW ARE YOU DARLING HOW WAS YOUR DAY GIVE ME THE RUNDOWN ‼️

so like im gonna yap about my week CAUSE IT FELT LONG AS HELL I PHYSICALLY TWEAKED OUT JUST REFLECTING BACK ON ALL OF IT‼️‼️

so as u know i was ill last week (was that even last week I CANT REMEMBER BUT IT WAS RECENTLY) and i was coughing up a storm at school on monday and tuesday IT WAS HELL ITSELF I SWEAR.

SO I HAD LIKE,, 7 TESTS? THIS WEEK? I THINK? a ton!! like wdym im getting a test thats not writing in journalism class? WHY ARE WE HAVING A HISTORY TEST IN THIS CLASS THATS SO WEIRD TO ME??? anyway... that and a spanish test and two math tests and two tests in my ap class and an english comprehension test i was not thriving this week

AND BY THE WAY, THE TESTS IN MY AP CLASS WERE LITERALLY RETAKES BECAUSE I WAS GONE REVIEW DAY CAUSE I WAS SICK AND HAD TO TAKE THE TESTS WITHOUT STUDYING AT ALL. THE TEACHER WAS LATE TO CLASS THAT DAY SO IT TOOK ME LIKE THREE ADVISORY PERIODS TO FINISH THE STUPID TESTS 💔💔

erm anyways all of that happened AND IM NOW THRIVING I FINISHED ALL MAJOR WORK AND MY GRADES ARE LOOKING UP SO YIPPEE!!! 

yesterday i went to the school football game with my friends!! our team kinda demolished the visiting team dude 😭😭 IT WAS LIKE?? 68-0???? LIKE DAMN OKAY LET THEM GET UP BROTHERS 😭

ALSO AT THE GAME THERE WAS A KISS CAM AND MY FRIENDS ENDED UP ON IT WE WERE ALL SCREAMING SOOOO MUCH 😨 IT WAS WILD LINA!!! BUT THE GAME WAS A TON OF FUN AND WE ALL HAD FUN SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS AND DOING RANDOM STUFF IN THE STANDS!!

SO THERES MY YAP! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY AND WHATS BEEN GOING ON W U POOKIE 😋 HRU HOWS LIFE WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW

HONEYPIE BY JAWNY !!!!! erm big yap under cut methinks..

HELLO HELLO MY DEAR SWEET LITTLE BIRTHDAY CAKE CARDBOARD BOX CARAMELIZED SUGAR STICK !!! iM DOING LIKE.. OKAY I THINK. SUPER TIRED OMW HOME FROM SCHOOL i slept 1.5hrs last night..

my freaky english teacher likes me. a h a h a anyways ive been getting into art moar >:3 again so i spent like half the time drawing and stuff help .. not when i needed to concentrate tho !!! i drew a fish person ish i will show u later. apparently everyone flunked the maths test so like i may end up on the news tho... my last three assessments were all straight A's but the highest grade in the entire class in this one is a B and idk man i might Die. also i think i did well in english bc.. the teacher seems satisfied w me.. SCHOOL IS CLOSED TMR SO I WILL LOCK IN AND WRITE MY SILLY SMAU METHINKS

my friend who i sat beside today let me draw my fish on her bandaid :33 she calls me fish too and i call her cat it's a long story basically but in eighth grade like.. back in 2022 we exchanged discords and my nickname was fishie and hers was neko so like .. fish and cat. oh and once a physics teacher referred to me as fish too help

im super eepy rn help.. started raining in the morning n i got hopeful that school would be cancelled but NO bc the universe HATES me

im going to change & pass out now i think highkey.

OK NOW !!! UR THINGS LETS SEE omg yes this week was so fkn long ewwww

IM SO SORRY AB UR STUPID TESTS <//)3 I HAD THREE ON SUNDAY ALONE LAST WEEK IT WAS SO BAD I FAKED BEING SICK ON TUESDAY (?) KIND OF.. LIKE I FELT BAD BUT NOT BAD ENOUGH TO NOT GO TO SCHOOL

IM GLAD UR GRADES ARE LOOKING UP !!! IF U LISTEN CLOSELY IM ACTUALLY CHEERING SO LOUD FOR U RN 😹

football game is insane (never seen one) 68 - ZERO ??? IS THE HOME TEAM THAT GOOD OR IS THE OTHER ONE JUST BAD PLS... ALSO LIKE WHAT !!!! kiss cam sounds like sm fun !!!!

okay pause to say that this ask is literally makign me so happy rn idk bro but im kicking feet i feel all warm n fluttery inside

OK BACK ON TOPIC im so glad u had fun <333 that experience seems so amazing like omg !!! ik youll remember it for a WHILE i long to experience that kind of fun again omg

OKAY ANYWAYS MY DAY RIGHT !!! i cancelled on my maths teacher + postponed his class to tmr bc i want to sleep and grind genshin and watch a movie or 2 !!! im thinking everything everywhere all at once ive wanted to watch it forever but never really had the independence to do so like i do now !!!! my big toe hurts for some reason idk :/// AND IVE BEEN HAVING SUCH BAD NAGI BRAINROT RECENTLY OMHHHH LIKE MY MAN.. MY MAN..... SAVE ME NAGI SEISHIRO SAVE ME..........

aaaaa where was i !!! oh yesyes so i was thinking moot tags right ... bc i need smth cute for u.... bc ur so cute....

UM YES THATS ALL FOR TODAY I HOPE UR SLEEPING WELL & DM ME WHEN U SEE THIS !!! not for any specific reason just say hi bc imy (we literally talked a few hrs ago) ily sav !!!! PS CONGRATS ON MAKING THE MAGAZINE TEAM IM SO PROUD OF U !!!!

[earlgreytea68]

Do u have any twin skeletons thoughts/analyses?

SO MUCH. BUCKLE UP.

I looooove this song and I think it is the most raw and brutal song about the disintegration of the Pete/Patrick relationship in the entire discography, I really do.

Patrick jumbles his use of lyrics up time-wise, he plucks them from all over their chronology, but I don't think he would write this song today, and I don't think he would write the lyrics up in this song today. Like, the lyrics are brutal, but the song they're in are worst, the way he arranges them, the way he sings them.

BUT THEN HE ENDS IT IN HOPE. THIS SONG.

I feel like there is this vague trajectory to the lyrics that Pete writes and the way that Patrick arranges and sings them. When they're both young kids, the lyrics are more straightforwardly melodramatic and self-pitying, the way kids are, and Patrick sings them that way. Which isn't to say they're not still complex, but yeah. As they move toward the hiatus, I feel like the lyrics actually get less bitter and more longing but Patrick starts arranging them and singing them more viciously, so that lyrics that could have been love songs become angry songs instead. Post-hiatus, Pete's lyrics take a distinctive pining turn that he's never entirely left, although they're not always about relationships (they never were, really, which is what I love about him) but about the passage of time and the way everything is yearning ambivalence for things you can't even define as you get older. Patrick in the beginning of the hiatus still arranged these lyrics in songs that felt defiant but by now the lyrics get put into love songs and lose some of the irony in the way Patrick sings them.

That's kind of a tangent.

Anyway, I don't actually think they dealt, lyrically or musically, with a lot of the emotions of the hiatus until AB/AP. I think they wrote SRAR almost carefully. Some of the songs in it feel almost like Patrick designed them to try to be at a remove, they feel kind of impersonal, aiming for the kind of heterosexual drama that FOB rarely hits in their songs because Pete rarely writes lyrics like that. But I think about a song like The Mighty Fall or Death Valley or Just One Yesterday or Young Volcanoes -- and there is A LOT to all of those songs, too, of course, and I love them -- but they're easy to read as just, you know, typical radio play stuff. (The notable -- REALLY notable -- SRAR exception is Miss Missing You, of course, and maybe that was as much as anyone could deal with at the time lol.)

But AB/AP, to me, is FULL of working through the hiatus baggage. There's "The Kids Aren't Alright" and there's "Fourth of July" and there's "Favorite Record" and THEN THERE'S THIS SONG. To me, this song is all about a relationship -- a partnership -- that's supposed to be perfect breaking completely to pieces right in front of you, and the way it devolves into recriminations and accusations.

The chorus, revolving around this titular room where everything went down. I read “shares our fate and deserves our pity” to imply that this room has been somehow ruined, too (sharing our fate) and that’s such a huge pity, like, this isn’t how it should have happened. There’s deep regret in this chorus: I don’t want to remember it, and what they don’t want to remember is the things the promised. The promises you make to the people you love and when it all goes to hell and you end up not keeping those promises, you don’t want to think about them.

EVERYTHING about the description of the relationship in this is some of Pete’s most vivid lyrics. This is one of those songs where every single line is absolutely crystalline. When Taylor Swift said once that she wanted “Blank Space” to be like a Fall Out Boy song where every line is a zinger, this is the song I think of, because the way this relationship is described, the way it unfurls through the song, every single line carries an entire story within it, it’s all so vivid. And the thing is, this could be read to be about sex—dull the pain, strip down to skeleton, saint swimming our sins—sure, it’s all sexy, but I don’t think any of it is actually about sex. Stripped down to our skeletons, that’s not how you have sex, that is way more revealing, way more vulnerability being shown than just taking off your clothes. It has to be read in the context of the image on their Greatest Hits compilation, those twin skeletons, dedicated to each other even in death, like, it’s just not about sex. Sure, sex can be read as sinful, but there’s a multitude of sins out there in the world for them to be swimming in. And the line that really smacks me over the head: “’til we’re twins again.” You…don’t have sex with your twin. I mean, unless we’re getting into some really weird narcissistic thing going on in this song. The twin thing is so…Patrick-coded hahaha. Because who is Patrick? The person he has twin-speak with. This whole thing is in the vein of Pete’s pining language to be honest: I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I JUST NEED A LITTLE DOSE OF YOU. I MISS HOW WE USED TO BE. I MISS WHEN WE WERE SO OURSELVES WITH EACH OTHER THAT WE WERE BASICALLY SKELETONS, THERE WAS NOTHING TO HIDE BEHIND.

But the way Patrick sings these words, the melody he gives them: It doesn’t sound pining. It sounds biting and cruel. If he sang this song in one of his piano arrangements, I bet these words would kill you with how much longing is in them. But that’s not how he sings them.

And then we get to that jet black crow, droning on and on and on, up above their heads, droning on and on and on. The way that droning line repeats, the way Patrick sings the on and on and on so that it sounds like a drone, it’s cleverly done, and the jet black crow always feels like this bad omen to me, this thing hanging over them, that they can’t escape. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE STAY HERE WITH ME, but there’s that droning of foreboding hanging over their heads. You’ve got to keep making trouble until you find what you love, he’s not done yet, he wants to keep going, he needs a partner in crime AND YOU SHRUG. I never can decide which of them is speaking there, who looked to the other for their partner and didn’t find him there, and maybe it was both of them, because they were mutual destruction, maybe that’s the point.

Then we get to the second verse, one era dying and the next being born, showing up just to fade away, calling an end to the whole thing – and hating it the whole time (“I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream”). “I can just die laughing on your spiral of shame”: the way Patrick sings that. That is another line that I’m not sure who it’s meant to be referencing, and it could just be both of them. Honestly, the cruel things you do to the people you love when there’s a jet black crow droning on and on over your heads. But you get through the wreck and you pull yourself together enough to survive, even though you’re barely holding yourself together with a string.

But. BUT. THIS BRUTAL, BRUTAL SONG that Patrick takes Pete’s lyrics and puts together here. The way he has the pining of the first verse devolve into the vicious backlash of the second verse in the wake of the indifferent and painful shrug is so good and then the narrative retreats into: Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. At the end of the song he repeats “hold on” EIGHTEEN TIMES. That’s how much he wants Pete to “hold on.” This song about the complete disintegration of this relationship ends with Patrick begging, over and over again: Hold on. Hold on. It’ll be okay. Hold on. That jet black crow drones on and on and on twelve times. Patrick asks us to hold on many more times. And he never sends droning as he does it. He packs multiple notes into the ons. The jet black crow is gone by the end of the song. I made promises. Just hold on.

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

I'm in love with @ybcpatrick 's post!ybc au and I really need to scream my headcanons/silly little ideas into the void.

- one night the power goes out in the studio. instead of finding a flashlight, Pete goes "wait guys I got this" and just shakes Patrick until he gets angry enough for his eyes to glow yellow. they use him as a little nightlight. Andy, Joe, and Pete find it amusing. Patrick does not.

- Once Patrick got comfortable with walking around outside again, he constantly needs someone's hand to hold. Usually it was Pete's, Andy's, or Joe's, but sometimes when he was out with a manager or other members of the crew (when they eventually go on tour) he just. grabs their hand. and won't let go. and everyone around him just understands and if Patrick grabs their hand, they Do Not Let Go Under Any Circumstance.

-Patrick is a still considered the main suspect in Joes death and is wanted by the police, but since the major piece of evidence to convict him is a) Alive and b) Living with him, the police can't do anything about it. Doesn't stop Patrick from getting severely anxious anytime he notices a police officer around.

-Pete struggles with the things that he wants. He has essentially forced himself back into that old "protector" roll over the rest of the guys and because of that, he has a hard time conveying what he actually wants for himself. to help with decision making, Patrick gifts him one of those magic 8 balls as a sort of joke, and Pete becomes attached to it. now he consults the 8 ball on every decision

-during the production of save rock and roll, Joe dragged Patrick to their studio and helped him play guitar (joe played the chords while Patrick strummed). Patrick got over his apprehension of being alone with Joe pretty fast when he realized he got to play guitar again, and the two of them came up with the "Death Valley" riff together

- the day Patrick discovered that music no longer triggered him was the loudest the house had been in weeks. Patrick CONSTANTLY played music. his favorite albums and songs were always on repeat. he even put some quiet music on in the background while they slept. Patrick even took to singing along and dancing to his favorites and was the happiest he had been in a long time.

- Patrick has only one type of music banned in the house, and thats any song with Courtney Love in it. Joe also has banned Motley Crue from being played in the house.

-the four of them listen to at least one Elton John song a day. As a sort of thanks for bringing them all back to life.

-the first time the four of them went out in public together they met a small group of fans. Pete and Joe did the majority of the talking and allowed Andy and Patrick to stand back a bit. One girl asks if she can give a bracelet to Patrick and he says yes, and so she gives him a little Soul Punk friendship bracelet. After the fans left, Patrick nearly starts crying on the street. he NEVER takes that bracelet off.

-As a precaution, Patrick will wear sunglasses during interviews and occasionally out in public. Pete, Joe, and Andy will also wear sunglasses during interviews so that Patrick doesn't feel isolated or anything. When he eventually gets on stage, Patrick wears blue contacts.

-one time Pete and Patrick were being harassed by a street interviewer and it was really getting to Patrick, so he just took his glasses off and told the interviewer to fuck off. No one believed the guy when he started spouting about how Patrick Stump -- known by everyone to be such a nice, sweet guy-- had these crazy, glowing yellow eyes. Everyone thought the dude was a lunatic. Pete took the opportunity and mocked him on Twitter for it.

-Patrick changes the little LEDS on his hand to fit each album tour theme. for Save Rock and Roll, he uses his usual orange, but for AB/AP, he chooses blue (for Jet Pack Blues), purple for MANIA, and pink for Stardust.

[youlooksogoodinblue]

Fob albums as seasons

Because i saw sum ppl asking what seasons the albums r, also not including greatest hits or eps :)

TTTYG

early summer, like the weeks just after when school ends. This is probably bc of the lyrics to Saturday and the doa music vid. But the entire album to me is just sun burns, hot humid thunderstorms, staying up late and talking for hours with your friends, the beginning of summer excitement and regret for how the past academic year has been spent. Yeah

FUTCT

The obvious choice is the correct one, this album is autumn. Like the mv for Sugar is very obviously set in autumn and dance dance set in a school probably is the main reason i think this. But its like November Fall rather than September or October, its almost winter, its getting darker for longer, most of the pretty fall foliage has fallen to the ground, leaving the trees naked and cold, studying exhaustion and stress from midterms. apple cider, cinnamon and pumpkin spice flavored everything(but you’re still bitter).

IOH

This one is the haziest i think, i think it is spring. But the early spring i experience as a northerner(USA). Its snowstorms in april, seeing trees with buds on them dusted with snow. Its cursing that stupid fucking groundhog for the “two more weeks” of winter, that seem to last for months. Its spiders sneaking into your home because they exited diapause too early and while it was 72 degrees yesterday, ice has covered your driveway once again this morning.

Folie

Early autumn/ late summer, like late august early September, its back to school ads, the time you are wishing for halloween while it still reaching 80 degree weather, the smell of autumn just starting to linger in the mornings, the first few leaves falling to the earth. Regret of free time and good weather wasted and looming dread for the SAD winter yet to come.

SRAR And AB/AP

These are grouped together bc they are both summer, and in similar ways. They are July, they are fireworks going off for weeks before and after the fourth, and being able to see them from your bedroom window. They are amusement parks, concerts, and beaches visited and enjoyed, but maybe not as much as you hoped. Specifically Ab/ap is riding your bike to a local ice cream parlor and paying the teenage employee in coins. SRAR is scraped knees and palms, beat up chuck taylors, and heatstroke.

Mania

Summer. Mania feels like carefully selecting seashells from the beach, only to have your brother shatter them. Sticky popsicles dripping down your chin, no one has a napkin. Its the smell of smoke from barbecue and bonfires that you were not invited to. Its cloudless warm nights but being afraid to go out to look. Its standing in the middle of a thunderstorm in your bathing suit.

SMFS

Winter. Specifically the time after Christmas, Its being able to see your breath, its watching the ball drop and actually being excited for another chance. Its snow reflecting Christmas lights still left up. Its slipping and falling on black ice and being forced to look at the stars. Its enjoying the things you have already received and savoring the time you have spent.

[dzthenerd490]

File: Raving Rabbids

SCP#: ARR

Code Name: The Chaos Rabits

Object Class: Joke/ Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ARR instances Found in the wild are to be captured by Mobile Task Force Hephaestus-2 "Rabit Hunters". On each mission they are to bring flash grenades and large screen devices to present memetic kill agents. After capture the SCP-ARR instances are to be contained in at Site-AB. They are to be given specialized goggles that constantly project memetic images into their eyes. The memetic images introduced are designed to slow the brains of SCP-ARR instances to weaken their chaotic impulses, they can now only eat and sit around. 

The are all to be locked into a 50x50 meter containment cell containing nothing as the SCP-ARR instances require no other food than what is given and don't defecate. Foundation staff are to ender on a daily basis and feed a single block of protein every day, so they don't die of hunger. Any testing must first be approved by at least one Level 3 Researcher. 

In the event of a containment breach, the entrance to SCP-ARR's containment area is to be reinforced with a nuclear blast shield door. There are hidden generators within the wall that will also activate to disrupt anomalous wavelengths weakening and hopefully completely nullifying the effects of anomalous tools and items. Anyone who tries to remove the goggles off of an SCP-ARR instance will be apprehended at once. If they are a spy they will be executed; if not, they demoted by a single level, there are no exceptions. 

In the event SCP-ARR instances are found by MTF units or field agents within Nexus Point: The Wanderer's Library they are to be ignored and allowed apprehension by Group of Interest: The Serpents Hand or Entities of Interest: The Librarians. Any staff members that ignore this rule will be discarded by the Foundation and left to the mercy of the library, there are no exceptions. 

Description: SCP-ARR is an unknown species of rabbits that seem to come from a different reality. They are humanoid in nature with thin white fur, large ears, large eyes, mouths, and stubby hands and legs with fingers. The only thing that has them resemble regular rabbits is their long ears that is signature to the species. They have the anomalous ability to speak though its mostly limited to gibberish that only barely resembles a language. Each SCP-ARR instance, though able to feel pain, are all immortal and indestructible in every sense. Crush them, burn them, shoot them, freeze them, pour chemicals on them, beat them, it doesn't matter they will survive anything and everything thrown at them. 

SCP-ARR instances are extremely chaotic always enjoying causing mayhem and destruction wherever they go. SCP-ARR instances are also well known for stealing items to be used for their own self gain and often for things they were never meant to be used for. It's not uncommon for SCP-ARR instances in the wild to find lots of random junk and use it to build trash piles to act as homes or actually live in junk yards. SCP-ARR instances are not dangerous per say but they are quite hazardous in the chaos they cause and can unfortunately draw attention to the anomalous world. 

SCP-ARR was discovered in 2006 and since then have been involved in several rampages in our world. Please see Addendum X-38 for details. 

***

Addendum X-38

The following is a basic rundown of all the previous encounters with SCP-ARR.

2006 - In [data expunged] park, a group of SCP-ARR instances burst form the ground and start terrorizing park goers and eating their picnic lunch. They are accompanied by a large ape like monster with a metal helmet and metal rabbit ears on it. The Global Occult Coalition only barely manages quarantine the park and deploys troopers to exterminate all SCP-ARR instances. Unfortunately, they fail as the SCP-ARR instances are indestructible and thus are immune to their bullets, laser rifles, and rocket launchers. Though they were able to kill the ape like SCP-ARR instance by unknown means and to this day refuse to tell the Foundation. Supposedly there were other SCP-ARR instances that were killed the same way, but the GOC has yet to prove this. 

Foundation agents were able to capture the few SCP-ARR that escaped the GOC's grasp and sent them to temporary containment at the nearest Foundation Area. Afterwards the GOC begrudgingly surrendered custody of the rest as they could not kill them all effectively. The cover story later established was that there was a bomb threat in the park which was later confirmed to be a hoax. Foundation deployed Class A Amnestics to those who witness the event and both organizations agreed to leave the FBI to apologize for all the civilians of their troubles. Since in the public's eye, this was a blunder of the local law enforcement. 

2007 - A mall located in [data expunged] became overrun with SCP-ARR instances armed with plungers. The Foundation was able quarantine the area and hack into the TV's and speakers to emit memetic and audio kill agents. The kill agents were designed to make anyone who saw or heard them fall asleep even SCP-ARR instances. As such the resulting cleanup was rather easy.

Once the SCP-ARR instances were contained the people inside were given Class B Amnestics and told they were exposed to an anarchist attack. The official cover story is that some pranksters released smoke bombs into the ventilation of the mall, all of the bombs being filled with sleeping gas. It was also explained that the gas was made with hallucinogenic chemicals hence why some could barely remember sightings of chaotic humanoid rabbits attacking them with plungers. 

2008 - within the city of [data expunged], SCP-ARR instances suddenly appeared on several TV channels and were able to alter what was being broadcasted that day. The Telecommunications Monitoring Office - Broadcasting division was able to shut it off after 2 hours of public exposure. Apparently, a single SCP-ARR instance was sleeping on a power pole's transformer and got electrocuted somehow transforming into several SCP-ARR instances that could exist in TV broadcasting frequencies. How this is possible is unknown.

The power pole's transformer was apprehended by the French division of the Foundation and sent to the nearest Foundation Area to be dismantled and incinerated, as everyone agreed this was the best course of action. It should be noted that this is the only time the Foundation has ever been able to kill a single SCP-ARR instance successfully. The cover story later presented to the public was that a hacker managed to infiltrate several channels and edit them with random presentations of strange humanoid rabbits. 

2009 - SCP-ARR instances are found gathering trash in the [data expunged] garbage dump. They somehow manage to make a tower of trash so large it almost reaches the edge of the Troposphere. There were even reports of civilians having all of their close stolen from them and added to the pile for some reason. The Global Occult Coalition launched bombs into the junkyard and blew up the SCP-ARR instances. Though they didn't die they just floated in space and still somehow survived in the void. It took Space Task Fleet Apollo-1 several months to gather all the SCP-ARR instances. 

The Cover story later given was that a group of junkies were experimenting with different chemicals in the junkyard. They were also messing with hallucinogenic drugs and often tested them on innocent bystanders, hence why the people attacked claimed they saw humanoid rabbits. Unfortunately, they also experimented with dangerous chemicals to create new drugs which led to a disastrous explosion and the complete annihilation of the junkyard. 

2010 - A black 1949 Mercury car with flames painted on it manifested outside of Site-AB. Jackson Brown from Group of Interest: The Brown Family got out of the car and threw a washer machine at the entrance. It was connected to a damaged time traveling device and filled with four SCP-ARR instances. One was dressed like a Pirate, another a Pharaoh, another like a Viking, and the last was dressed as a Cowboy. He took the time travel device and demanded the Foundation staff deal with the SCP-ARR instances before things get worse. He then got back in his car and drove away before Foundation security could apprehend him or take the device from his custody. Instead, they just took the SCP-ARR instances and left the washing machine to be picked up later by the on-site trash collectors as it was worthless without the device. 

2011 - [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. The Cows were later killed in an act of mercy, and it was agreed the incident must never be discussed again. 

2012 - A portal manifests in the containment area where the SCP-ARR instances were being kept and 12 instances came out all wearing silly costumes. They started fighting on another and the disabled SCP-ARR instances like they were doing a wrestling competition of some kind. They were quickly sedated and added to containment. 

***

From then on SCP-ARR instances were thankfully extremely rare, and increasingly easier to contain as time went on. There were even sightings within the Wanderer's Library which thankfully left it to Group of Interest: The Serpents Hand to deal with them. Still Foundation staff and MTF units are to be reminded that the threat of SCP-ARR instances isn't in how dangerous they are. It's how difficult it is to suppress the amount of exposure and chaos they unleash prior to containment. SCP-ARR is a good reminder that though Joke class anomalies are often ridiculous this in no way means ANY of them should be underestimated. At least, not until they can be properly utilized or neutralized by the Foundation.

.

SCP: Horror Movie Files Hub

[awsugar]

mack are you excited for new fall out boy!? i am. i really didn't like mania but i miss them and i want to see what direction they've gone this time.

yes! once a fob fan always a fob fan even though im obviously not a full time stan anymore. and unlike a lot of people, i actually mania. i like almost every song and i probably like it more than ab/ap as a whole. i definitely find myself listening to it more often. so im excited and looking forward to it. i havent even really heard the preview of the new song because i have just not been online, i was on vacation for a week and now im back to work in the middle of 7 days in a row. i guess i could look it up rn but at this point i think ill just wait and be surprised when i listen to it on the way to work at 530 tomorrow morning lol....

[clonehighjoansieofarc]

Clone High Theory

Exclamation Point is a staged community; the celebrity guest stars work for the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures, and that's why you see them with the Shadowy Figures in the last episode before they raid the prom. They could all be in on the conspiracy… maybe they're gaining something out of it? Who knows?

Every (normal) person around them is pretending. They interact with the clones and act completely ordinary and treat them like their normal kids while knowing, “Tee hee, these kids are going to be government super-soldiers! Yikes. Well, bye, Julius Caesar, it's nice to see you at the supermarket, but I gotta get some salad for dinner. Bye. ”

Exclamation Point seems like a small and remote town….? The type of place where no one comes in and out… it's almost like a secure bubble. There are only so few people that interact with the clones.

It’s a very The Truman Show esque false reality/fake community where there could be cameras everywhere, and the Shadowy Figures watch them like… a TV show. Essentially, they're keeping tabs on the clones and letting them “roam free” but actually developing their senses for what lies ahead.

The foster parents. They're all very weird… Toot’s never knows what's going on, Cleo’s mom is never clearheaded, so they were hired because they're competent because they're incompetent… the fosters aren’t going to act against the board! They aren't threats… they're just gonna raise a bunch of teen historical figures for however long, go along with everything and get their money's worth. Some parents don't give a rats ass about them (Cleo’s mom,) while some do (JFK’s dads) OR MAYBE THEY COULD BE ACTORS AS WELL AND NOT BE DUMB AT ALL AND WORKING WTH THE SHADOWY FIGURES TO GET PAID AND UNEASE THE CLONES AND JUST NURTURE AND RAISE THEM.

IN THE LAST EPISODE, THE SHADOWY FIGURES LITERALLY SAY “BOARD OF SHADOWY FIGURES… FELLOW CONSPIRATORS …” ???????????? timestamp 7:26

Joke about the clones being the first group of children to be legally “adopted” by a corporation

Back to The Truman Show! the clones eventually find out their purpose and rebel. It’s Joan who finds out first. She’s the most skeptical and least enthusiastic about being a clone, and once she finds out, she (understandably) freaks out and has the worst existential crisis. She tries to tell Abe Gandhi, JFK, and Cleo, but they play it off as her being crazy and overthinking everything (Cleo believes Joan in the slightest but shrugs the horrifying thought off because she can't afford to think all this being perfect was for something like that and JFK WANTS to believe her as well but he just can’t fathom a thought like that) Abe dumbly makes a little joke about Joan’s clone mother and her claims of something just as far fetched as her clone daughter’s and having no one believe her which ultimately sets Joan off on a rant on how meaningless their lives are yet these crazy events happen to them? How no one comes into Exclamation Point, and no one comes out? How small and bleak everything could be? “Don’t you guys ever wonder WHY we're here? What's the point of all this?” She would scream and sputter out word vomit while the four other teens stare at her with stunned and concerned expressions because it’s such a dreadful thought they've never put into consideration and because it’s Joan… the girl who’s historically known to be erratic in her prophesying and the most level headed and sensible one.

Joan is questioning everything, and slowly the rest of the clones start to believe her and decide that even though they don't know what their purpose is, they're going to revolt against Scudworth (since he’s their superior) using their intelligence and skills that Shadowy Figures cloned them for except it’s all dialed down to teenager style where they're all going ape shit (like in the riot) with Joan leading them with her smarts and strength just like her clone mother did all those years ago.

The last two bullet points aren’t necessarily theories but it’s a cool idea

tagging you guys because you all said you wanted to hear my theory :D @anton-wyzek @ort-smort @disconnected-dragon

[let-me-lyric]

Ok so this is def gonna be some sort of FOB blog now. My hyperfixation has returned babyyy (and I really hope this one sticks around for a while).

Anyway.

I think we need to give more love to American Beauty/American Psycho. Like I know on Spotify that it’s technically their most popular album but tbf we can probably all agree that that’s because of Centuries. There’s also Uma Thurman which is pretty popular (for good reason, it’s a BANGER) but the rest of the album deserves some love too.

Irresistible is lowkey my strut song, I love it so much.

The title track (AB/AP but I ain’t writing allat) took me a bit to get into but the bridge especially is actually such a good song? Currently playing it on repeat which is what prompted me to write this entire thing out.

Centuries is iconic and I love it I really do, it was how I found out about FOB and it deserves all the love it gets.

The Kids Aren’t Alright is honestly not really my fave but idk bro the lyrics really hit.

Uma Thurman gets me so hyped every time I hear it, I LOVE IT!

Jet Pack Blues is once more not as high energy as I usually like but they popped off with the lyrics “she’s singing ‘baby come home’ in a melody of tears while the rhythm of the rain keeps time”??? How did such a line get brainstormed and where do I get some of that absolute skill???

Novocaine is such an angry, gritty song and I don’t know what else I can say about it. Def one of my faves on the album but this is also lowkey my favorite album (lowkey, it’s not like I can just pick ONE 😥) so that tracks.

Fourth of July is ofc sad but it’s almost kinda cute if that makes sense? Like it makes me think of a cute romance that didn’t end so well. Not exactly the best vibes to bring to a Fourth of July part but you best believe I ABSOLUTELY will be adding it to the playlist.

Favorite Record is similar, but it almost feels like a more… homemade(?) sound. Softer might be a better word. Like the background instrument are kinda toned down or something. It expresses such a similar meaning in such a different way IDK

Immortals feels like the earlier part of a relationship that you know is technically doomed to fail but you really don’t want to let go of. All of the time references really cement that idea for me. There’s more I was going to say but I forgot it so.

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC). Now what do I even say about this one? Honestly, I’ve run out of things to say right now but let’s just say that if I heard this one in concert I would probably die. S tier. No further notes.

Also this is maybe an important disclaimer: I have zero experience with love and I don’t intend to get any (aromantic babyyy 😍). So my analysis might be a bit inaccurate but who’s doing research for smth like this anyway?

TL;DR: y’all are SLEEPING on AB/AP, but also every album is equally good in its own way (altho I’m ngl I could never bring myself to listen to evening out with your girlfriend but someday I will, promise).

…yeah. I think it’s clear how not normal I am about this band.

[st-just]

hey, did you know that Seth Dickinson has a blog? He's got some really good articles picking through why exactly he made the writing choices he did for Baru Cormorant. Also some completely unhinged posts. like, what even is this: https://www.sethdickinson.com/2016/05/28/sex-dickinstone/

(nothing about when book 4 comes out, alas. that's why I looked him up in the first place)

I DID NOT!

Thank you for this very important information.

Also the most recent post from February is also a great way to set the tone I think

United under the God-Emperor Aslan, the forces of Narnia have conquered the known world. But when a playful kangaroo accidentally drop-kicks Aslan’s emissary down a well, his armies of apes and centaurs march on a tiny polity at the edge of the empire. In the face of impossible odds, Winnie, Piglet, Tigger and all the others must ripple their abs and form a phalanx, because the future of animal civilization is at stake in THE THREE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD

In this sun-drenched horror film, grieving psychology student Dani joins a friend’s retreat to the commune of the Scandinavian Halga. But her unresolved grief and her troubled relationship with her boyfriend take a back seat when Imperial Inquisitor Gideon Ravenor descends from the heavens to seek out the cultists of the Chaos God Slaanesh. The only thing worse than a heretic is a bear-etic in MIDSOMMAR 40,000

Mild-mannered London solicitor Jonathan Harker travels to the Carpathian Mountains to assist the business of local Count Dragul. But Harker soon begins to suspect that his sullen and unbelievably ripped host is far older than he’s letting on…and that he may once have worn the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon his troubled brow! Keanu Reeves contemplates the tree of woah in CONAN THE HUNGARIAN!

In this Judd Apatow dramedy, a hapless virginal electronics store employee must undertake the most difficult journey of his life: locating and assassinating Osama bin Laden. It’s THE ZERO DARK FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Kidnapped by the fur fanatic Cruella de Ville, the Dalmatians Pongo and Perdy have only one hope of survival: the revelations imparted to them by a mysterious black monolith. It’s 2001 DALMATIANS!

They're all so good.

Now just need to find time to go through the actual backlog.

[rxttenfish]

valerie redesign...we talked ab it a bit but i would love to hear more...

,valerie (and catfolk) are.... one of the redesigns who i have worked on the LEAST

i have decided that they arent werewolves, at least. i really like grouping multiple "types" of monster together - because i don't actually want ANY one monster to truly be what its mythology suggested it to be. the words "werewolf" or "mermaid" are painted onto them, borrowed from the myths that exist outside of those monsters, because theyre the closest comparison and easiest word to loan to providing a name. this is also why i rather like how they all have multiple different names, all referring to the Same Thing, and none of them are even their real name, which is what they give to themselves and call themselves (and even this changes, based upon which of their languages they're using!)

but i do like the idea of having werewolves, catfolk, and humans all be this group of VERY similar sapients, enough to vaguely blend together in lots of various cultures - but having the differences between them be stark and wild enough that once you get to know them, you can easily tell them apart.

catfolk, i think i'm going to go for - they're a type of feline that adapted to an aboreal lifestyle roughly convergent on primates. at a distance, they probably look a lot similar to tamarins or marmosets, just similar enough to both cats and primates to REALLY throw someone off if they're looking at them from a distance.

i miiiight also make them more aboreal in nature, compared to the other sapients, trending more towards scurrying around quadrupedally on the ground and having very awkward and facilitative bipedal gaits. they're most comfortable off of the ground, where they can hold onto stuff with their feet and tails (which i'd have to doublecheck on, but potentially evolved to be prehensile, working a lot like spider monkey tails)

for this, i might also make them a lot smaller than everyone else? i dont feel like i have a lot of small redesigns - and i like having catfolk kind of call back to things like the fair folk or the little people, as small not-humans who you should be kind to lest they wreck your shit.

the face might be where i'm most torn on catfolk - we already DO know what a cat that has a human-like face would look like! and we know because we bred them to look like that, pushing for that same neoteny in brachycephalic cats that us humans also obtained in comparison to our great ape cousins

( behold, A MAN )

but i'm not sure. humans seem to have obtained it because we focused less on our jaws and more on our larger brains. while this would certainly help explain how catfolk achieved their sapience and make sense with their anatomy, it is also fairly tempting to draw comparisons to clouded leopards, starting first with chasing prey up trees and pursuing other arboreal prey, which i could then use to give catfolk the nice fangs and more typical feline profile as we would expect.

but i may also make this entirely a feature of their past. that their ancestors has the more typical feline profile, but once they formed a niche in the trees, they needed larger brains to be able to navigate through the branches and 3d space in a far more complicated way, their eyes also getting larger as they focused more on vision to do so, which reduced their jaws, so they then bridged over to tools to accommodate for that reduced jaw power, which made their brains then grow bigger, and so on and so forth.

i do know ill likely keep their protractable claws, but i will adjust their hands to be... weird.... cat-hands..... they may keep their beans, but i also think they may entirely lose them, favoring dexterity over the need to walk silently. they'd also absolutely be using their tail as a fifth limb, which absolutely would be useful for a quadrupedal scurry. very whiskery too, as i can easily see them having things like arm-whiskers like squirrels do, to also be able to navigate through the trees. and yeah, they would have round pupils, since slitted pupils wouldnt be any use to them. i think they actually might be the fuzziest of all the redesigns, even if they might still end up with some bald patches just to deal with heat and such.

i think the biggest loss would just be that valerie can't be purple and her dad can't be blue, though coach could absolutely retain a tawny color with stripes. spots could also be fairly common as well, and maybe even some domestic cat colors too? i'd have to ponder over it.

[mmvalentine]

Fifty-Six part 2 | Feysand

Smut-fest continues, if you're enjoying this go say happy birthday to @asteria-of-mars!

Part 1 Part 3

Chapter 2: Chafing a bit?

Rhys was right about one thing- the inner circle were already seated and half way through their breakfast when they got downstairs. At the couple’s arrival, everyone looked up and greeted them warmly. They took their usual seats opposite each other, and Rhys caught Feyre’s ankles between his under the table and winked at her.

Feyre settled in between Cassian and Mor, but when the former leaned his elbow on the table and looked at her with a goofy grin, Rhys’s lips thinned.

Alright there? she asked him.

Fine, was the terse and completely unconvincing reply.

You sure you’re ready to be around other people?

Yeah, he said. I’m fine.

“So,” Cassian said, his eyes sparkling. “Mates, huh?”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Okay, I know all of you guys knew before I did.”

“We’re sorry,” Mor blurted. “We never meant to deceive you.”

Feyre softened. “I know,” she said. “It’s okay.” Mor grinned, and heaped muffins onto Feyre’s plate.

“Welcome to the family,” she said, and it was the best thing Feyre had ever heard.

“Congratulations, both of you,” Azriel chimed in, offering her a rare smile. Feyre beamed at him.

“We’re glad to have you,” Amren said quietly, and from her, it meant the world.

The whole time, Rhys kept his eyes on Feyre, and sipped his coffee.

“We missed you guys,” Feyre said affectionately.

“Oh you did not,” Mor smiled.

But Cassian said, “Especially me, right Feyre?” and Rhys snarled.

Everyone at the table stilled, and looked at the High Lord.

“Rhys,” Feyre said. “It’s okay.” Rhys locked eyes with her for a moment, and finally nodded once. Their friends continued eating, but kept flicking wary glances in his direction. Azriel cleared his throat.

“So, since you’re back Rhys, I was hoping to have a moment to discuss Jurian’s movements. My spies in the human realm have been keeping tabs on the human queens and-”

Azriel’s attempt at distraction was interrupted by another snarl, ripping from Rhys’s throat.

“What now?” Cassian hissed at him, dropping his roll to his plate.

“Would you mind keeping your great big ape-arms to yourself?” Rhys spat back at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Every time you move, you’re in Feyre’s space.”

“Rhys,” Feyre warned. “He’s fine.” It’s just the bond, love, she said in his mind. You’re not jealous of your brothers, remember?

Rhys did not reply. Just stared Cassian down until he shuffled further away from Feyre. Which was not very far, since the table was only so long and he was hitting the outside leg already.

“Uh, so… the human realm…” Azriel tried again.

“What about it?” Rhys asked irritably. Mor shifted in her seat. Feyre wasn’t sure whether to try to soothe or reprimand Rhys, but as Azriel talked he did seem to calm down a little. Even made a few comments on his spymaster’s plans going forward, and Feyre relaxed enough that when Cassian asked her to pass the eggs, she didn’t think too much of it. But then when Cassian took the plate from her, their fingers brushed, and in the next second Rhys was exploding across the table.

Glasses spilled and fruit rolled, and the everyone jumped back as Rhys lunged with clawed fingers and feral eyes. Amren grabbed a hold of Mor and said “Right girlie, that’s our cue to leave.” Mor shot a sympathetic glance at Feyre, then they winnowed. Az took a step forward as if he might get in between his brothers, but then thought better of it and left, too. Cassian, his nose bloodied and with egg splattered over his chest, shoved Rhys off of him with a great heave.

“Alright, alright I’m going. You big bloody baby,” he said, and then stalked out the door.

“Rhys,” Feyre began, and his head whipped round to her, teeth still bared. She held her hands up. “Rhys please calm down,” she said.

“Like hell I will,” Rhys growled, and then he lifted her by the waist and set her on the table, pushing her back among the ruined plates and stray danishes. Feyre thought to protest, but there was still testosterone rolling of Rhys in waves, and although her brain did not exactly approve of what had just happened, her body was fast taking over and by the time his lips crashed against hers, she was wrapping her legs around him and clothes were torn from their bodies in shreds.

Rhys sent apologies round after the breakfast debacle, but also stubbornly refused to admit that the mating bond was getting the better of him.

“It was just too many people at once,” he said to Feyre, after she she had taken him back to their room to wash the jam off his chest. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, while she wiped at him with a washcloth.

“It was too soon,” Feyre argued, looking him over for missed debris.

“Maybe I’ll just have them round one at a time, for now,” Rhys went on. Feyre sighed, and rinsed out the cloth. “Okay your turn,” he said, pulling her down and switching places with her. Feyre handed him the little towel, but Rhys, surveying the mix of breakfast smears and lovebites decorating her torso, decided there were better ways of cleaning her up. He licked her from navel to chin, and there was no further discussion about visitors that day.

But the next day, Feyre answered the door to Azriel while Rhys was in the bath. She was surprised to see him, and Azriel, for his part, actually looked nervous. Feyre wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him nervous.

“High Lady,” the Shadowsinger greeted her, ducking his head.

“Azriel,” she said warmly, and grasped his hand in hers. Azriel’s eyes widened, and peered through the doorway behind her. Feyre laughed.

“Don’t worry, he’s upstairs,” Feyre said. Azriel smiled.

“One can never be too careful with new mating bonds,” he said. “And Rhys… well, Rhys has taken my head off for less. Granted, that was a long time ago, but I’m assuming he’s basically a hormone-addled eighteen-year-old again.”

“That’s probably a safe assumption,” Feyre agreed, and showed him in. "Rhys is expecting you?"

“Yes, he asked me to come. I’ll, ah, wait in the study,” Azriel said, and disappeared round the corner. Feyre headed back up the stairs, where Rhys was walking out of their room towelling his hair off. Still naked and steaming from the bath. Feyre’s eyes followed the contours of his abs.

“See something you like, Feyre darling?” Rhys grinned, disappearing the towel with magic.

“Ah…” Feyre stuttered, forgetting what she was supposed to tell him. Gods, he really was a beautiful male. Rhys’s smile turned feline as he stalked toward her. Feyre stepped back as he approached, still watching the muscles shift under his tattoos. He walked her back out to the landing, and leaned her against the bannister as he bent to circle his arms around her waist.

“Cat got your tongue?” he whispered. He was so incredibly warm around her, and Feyre let her head fall back as he kissed under her ear. She struggled to remember what she came to get Rhys for.

“Oh!” she put her hands on his biceps. “Azriel…”

Rhys’s head snapped up, and his eyes were ablaze.

“Azriel?” he demanded. Before she could explain, Rhys had spun her around so fast her hands caught the bannister as she fell forward. He yanked her hips back and threw the edge of her skirt up. “I don’t want to hear another male’s name on your lips, not now and not ever,” he growled in her ear. And then he smacked her lightly across the ass. “Okay?”

Feyre was going to laugh it off and explain, but then something unfurled in her chest. “Do that again,” she breathed.

“What?” Rhys asked, dangerously low. “This?” He smacked her again, a little harder this time. Feyre’s eyes went wide, and to her surprise, heat gathered between her legs. Rhys saw it all, and a very slow, very wicked grin spread across his face.

“Do you like to be spanked, my love?” he asked. Feyre didn’t know how to answer. Rhys pushed her underwear up to expose her backside, and smoothed his hand over it. And then landed a tight slap on her bare skin.

“Oh,” Feyre gasped, arching her back. Rhys pulled her hips back further, rubbing his now hard cock against her from behind. Feyre gripped the railing more tightly, and completely forgot about the spymaster in the study. “More,” she breathed.

“You want more?” Rhys echoed. He spanked her again, and she moaned. “Is this what you were looking for?” He pushed the rest of her skirt up her back and smacked the other side of her ass. “Is this why you’re being so cruel to me,” spank, “coming to me with another male’s name in your mouth,” spank, “looking for punishment?” He yanked her underwear down so it dropped around her ankles, and landed another three slaps, each harder than the one before. Feyre cried out again and again, and was getting so wet she knew he could smell her.

“Spread your legs, darling,” he instructed her. Feyre stepped out of her underwear and leaned her forearms against the bannister. Rhys spanked her again without warning and her eyes watered.

"Oh!"

“Wider,” he snarled. Feyre obeyed, widening her stance. Rhys rubbed his hands gently over her stinging skin, and then his cock was nudging at her entrance.

“Good girl,” he crooned, and then he spanked her one more time and when she yelled out he threaded his fingers through her hair and plunged inside her.

Rhys fucked her hard, bent over the railing, tugging her head back by the hair while his free hand worked her clit. The now sensitive and reddened skin of her ass bounced against the tops of his thighs, and when her knees started to buckle Rhys let go of her hair to wrap an arm around her waist to hold her up. Every physical sensation seemed heightened unbearably, and Feyre screamed as she came.

“Who’s name, Feyre?” he asked her. “Who’s name belongs in your mouth?”

“Yours,” she gasped between spasms.

“Say it,” Rhys bit out.

“Rhys,” Feyre said. “Rhys, Rhys, oh fuck, Rhys,” and the last one drawn out in a moan. The sound of it had Rhys coming hard as she was, and she didn’t come down until he had emptied himself inside her and his forehead was damp on her back. Feyre tried to move but felt like a new foal. Rhys laughed softly and carried her back to their room in his arms.

He lay her down very gently, and pulled the blanket over her before softly stroking her hair.

“I didn’t know that about you,” he said quietly.

“What?” Feyre asked, luxuriating in his wandering touch. A laughing edge came into his voice.

“That you were such a glutton for punishment.”

Feyre blushed, and Rhys pressed his lips to her forehead. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Half the fun of being wicked is getting to take care of you afterward.” Feyre smiled.

“I like the sound of that,” she said.

“And I quite like teaching you not to talk about other males in front of me.”

Feyre’s eyes flew open. “Oh!” she said, sitting up. “I was supposed to tell you that Azriel is here and waiting for you in the study!”

They stared at each other for a second, and the burst out laughing. Feyre covered her face in her hands, suddenly remembering the wanton sounds she had been making minutes ago and how clearly Azriel must have heard them all. Rhys peppered kisses over her cheek, and jaw, and neck, and then rolled out of bed, pulling trousers on before going downstairs to see if the Shadowsinger had stuck around.

He had not.

****

Liz asked for spanking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MASTERLIST

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[thekidsarentalright]

Fob Survey Results

Hi! So, a few days ago I made a post asking u all to take a survey i made so i could, basically, just see the different opinions in the fandom and nearly 400 people responded, which is crazy! I didn’t know that many ppl still were in fob bandom 😳 Anyways, without further adieu, the results are enclosed below under the cut!

First, I wanna start with some disclaimers or lil housekeeping things. The first thing I wanna mention is that, obviously, this sampling of people is small compared to every single fan of them ever but regardless of that i’m still gonna be referring to it all very generally just bc that’s easier for me lol. Next, I made a pie chart for every single question just so there was a visual of it but a few of them are a bit stuffed, just because the sheer amount of variety in peoples answers, which is great! But I just wanted to warn, and assure that i’ll be breaking down the charts a bit below the pictures so it’s more comprehensible. Also everything is color coded to try and make it a little easier! Lastly, more info and like discussion about any of this is totally welcome! if u have q’s, ask me! 

Question 1: When Did You Become A Fan?

This chart is one of the more comprehensible ones, thankfully. It shows that the era most fans became a fan was srar era, with 104 people answering that. The era with the least being tttyg era with only 5 people (technically pre-tttyg era/folie era since no one answered those). It’s so cool, to me, to see such a variety of answers! Fob rly are timeless 😌

Question 2: What’s Your Favorite Album?

I feel, for me, this one wasn’t a big surprise. Folie is clearly the fan favorite with 37%, while take this your grave is in last with only 9 people saying it was their fav. Again, lots of variety in this which is pretty cool to see! (also sorry that ab/aps name got cut off lol)(Also also justice for abap and mania)

Question 3: What’s Your Favorite EP/Non-Album?

Here, Lake Effect Kid Ep dominated the results with 126 people saying it was their favorite. B-Side was sort of close behind, with Pax Am Days in third. Here, what surprised me, was that anybody answered with eowyg or llamania, tbh. And, though I didn’t include it in the chart, 7 people answered saying they didn’t have a fav or hadn’t ever listened to one of them!

Question 4: Who’s Your Favorite Member?

This was one of the most biased questions with nearly 50% of u saying Patrick is your fav. I expected that, though I thought it’d be more of a battle between him and Pete. The only thing rly worth saying, ig, is that Andy and Joe deserve more love :(

Question 5: Favorite Fob Related Artist?

When I made this question and put mcr as an option I knew they’d be number one, so that’s not a shocker, to me. Here are your guys’ top 3 fob adjacent artists: 1. My chemical romance 2. Paramore 3. Panic! at the disco And, honestly, rest didn’t stand a chance against those 3 which I kinda expected but it is nice to see Some people appreciating cobra and gch! (Misc. answers included bands like idkhow, waterparks, as well as green day and elton john! Lots of variety!)

Question 6: What’s Your Favorite Song?

This question is where it starts to get a bit messier. I did my best to make it as clean as possible, but it still def looks a little wacky (sorry). According to you all, however, your top 3 favorite fob songs are as follows: 1. Disloyal order 2. (Coffee’s for closers) 3. Hum hallelujah Now, I am not at all surprised that disloyal order is that high up there, nor does hum hallelujah surprise me but coffee’s for closers kinda does! I’m also shocked that ginasfs isn’t higher. (where’s tkaa tho)

Question 7: Most Underrated Song?

Luckily, I managed to get this one a bit more organized looking (in my eyes) but, again, sorry if it’s messy! Regardless, according to you all, the top 3 most underrated fob songs are: 1. You’re crashing, but you’re no wave 2. From now on we are enemies = Headfirst slide 3. Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel in NYC) = Coffee’s for closers What is the funniest, and most interesting to me here, is that there are so many ties and also that 2 of these songs (Headfirst slide and coffee’s for closers) were in your top 5 favorite songs... making them clearly not underrated. I was delighted to see you’re crashing at 1, though. It hits hard.

Question 8: Most Overrated Song?

Now, with this one, I fully expected the results I got. It was very predictable: The singles are the most overrated. Something about them playing nonstop on the radio 6+ years ago rly bugged y’all (/j). Here are your top 3 most overrated songs: 1. Centuries  2. Uma Thurman = Immortals 3. My Songs  I’m very very stunned to see what a catch on there. And to all the people that said mania and the kids aren’t alright: ow :(

Question 9: This Or That 1

All the this or that’s are pretty self-explanitory, I believe. By a very thing margin, you all prefer sugar over thnks fr the mmrs!

Question 10: This Or That 2

By another very thing margin, wams beat out just one yesterday.

Question 11: This Or That 3

A pattern you’ll notice is that all of these are super close... once again, by a thing margin, Immortals (famously disliked) beat out champion (even more disliked apparently)

Question 12: This Or That 4

This one was ridiculously close the entire survey, for a majority of it pavlove was winning, actually. But, at the very end, from now on we are enemies won it 183 to 146.

Question 13: This Or That 5

Lastly for the this or that series, we have the most biased one. I thought this would be closer, but clearly you all have a Lot of love for disloyal order, picking it over the kids aren’t alright 240 to 105. That’s fuckin crazy.

Question 14: What’s Your Favorite Lyric?

For this one, so many people answered so many different lyrics all presented in a different way that I physically could not bring myself to organize them like i did the previous song questions. So, I present to you the songs that were quoted/referenced the most and therefore are precieved to have the best lyricism, according to you all. The top 3 most mentioned songs are: 1. Disloyal order (shocker) 2. Hum Hallelujah 3. Wams = Miss Missing You What surprised me the most here was that apparently overrated songs appeared, with a few people mentioning centuries, my songs, what a catch among others. And that disloyal order once again came out on top. 

Conclusion: What I learned from this is follows; the fob fandom (on here) is made up of people with somehow both very varied and yet congruent opinions. We might not all have the same favorite album or ep but we do all lose our minds to disloyal order and think that patrick is the best which i think is just beautiful.  (Feel free to come into my inbox and talk to me about this!! Naturally, I have all the data- the stuff that’s hard to see or wasn’t shown on the charts is interesting too. I’d love to talk about any of it!)