#actually more like 2 for 9. reviewing the claims

[fideidefenswhore]

Chapuys was full of news. The Emperor was stirring and the Pontiff was about the act. Her mother's case was settled; the validity of her marriage rite proclaimed. Once more, and for the last time, Henry would be summoned to dismiss his 'concubine'. An interdict was drawn. A holy war would be proclaimed, and every prince in Christendom would be required to execute this judgment of the Church. The Scots were arming in her cause, and James, her cousin, was proposing for her hand. Desmond was marching at the head of twenty thousand men. What wonder that the girl at Hatfield Lodge refused to hear the Queen?

History of Two Queens, William Hepworth Dixon

[fatliberation]

they have a point though. you wouldn't need everyone to accommodate you if you just lost weight, but you're too lazy to stick to a healthy diet and exercise. it's that simple. I'd like to see you back up your claims, but you have no proof. you have got to stop lying to yourselves and face the facts

Must I go through this again? Fine. FINE. You guys are working my nerves today. You want to talk about facing the facts? Let's face the fucking facts.

In 2022, the US market cap of the weight loss industry was $75 billion [1, 3]. In 2021, the global market cap of the weight loss industry was estimated at $224.27 billion [2]. 

In 2020, the market shrunk by about 25%, but rebounded and then some since then [1, 3] By 2030, the global weight loss industry is expected to be valued at $405.4 billion [2]. If diets really worked, this industry would fall overnight. 

1. LaRosa, J. March 10, 2022. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Shrinks by 25% in 2020 with Pandemic, but Rebounds in 2021." Market Research Blog. 2. Staff. February 09, 2023. "[Latest] Global Weight Loss and Weight Management Market Size/Share Worth." Facts and Factors Research. 3. LaRosa, J. March 27, 2023. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Partially Recovers from the Pandemic." Market Research Blog.

Over 50 years of research conclusively demonstrates that virtually everyone who intentionally loses weight by manipulating their eating and exercise habits will regain the weight they lost within 3-5 years. And 75% will actually regain more weight than they lost [4].

4. Mann, T., Tomiyama, A.J., Westling, E., Lew, A.M., Samuels, B., Chatman, J. (2007). "Medicare’s Search For Effective Obesity Treatments: Diets Are Not The Answer." The American Psychologist, 62, 220-233. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Apr. 2007.

The annual odds of a fat person attaining a so-called “normal” weight and maintaining that for 5 years is approximately 1 in 1000 [5].

5. Fildes, A., Charlton, J., Rudisill, C., Littlejohns, P., Prevost, A.T., & Gulliford, M.C. (2015). “Probability of an Obese Person Attaining Normal Body Weight: Cohort Study Using Electronic Health Records.” American Journal of Public Health, July 16, 2015: e1–e6.

Doctors became so desperate that they resorted to amputating parts of the digestive tract (bariatric surgery) in the hopes that it might finally result in long-term weight-loss. Except that doesn’t work either. [6] And it turns out it causes death [7],  addiction [8], malnutrition [9], and suicide [7].

6. Magro, Daniéla Oliviera, et al. “Long-Term Weight Regain after Gastric Bypass: A 5-Year Prospective Study - Obesity Surgery.” SpringerLink, 8 Apr. 2008. 7. Omalu, Bennet I, et al. “Death Rates and Causes of Death After Bariatric Surgery for Pennsylvania Residents, 1995 to 2004.” Jama Network, 1 Oct. 2007.  8. King, Wendy C., et al. “Prevalence of Alcohol Use Disorders Before and After Bariatric Surgery.” Jama Network, 20 June 2012.  9. Gletsu-Miller, Nana, and Breanne N. Wright. “Mineral Malnutrition Following Bariatric Surgery.” Advances In Nutrition: An International Review Journal, Sept. 2013.

Evidence suggests that repeatedly losing and gaining weight is linked to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function [10].

10. Tomiyama, A Janet, et al. “Long‐term Effects of Dieting: Is Weight Loss Related to Health?” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6 July 2017.

Prescribed weight loss is the leading predictor of eating disorders [11].

11. Patton, GC, et al. “Onset of Adolescent Eating Disorders: Population Based Cohort Study over 3 Years.” BMJ (Clinical Research Ed.), 20 Mar. 1999.

The idea that “obesity” is unhealthy and can cause or exacerbate illnesses is a biased misrepresentation of the scientific literature that is informed more by bigotry than credible science [12]. 

12. Medvedyuk, Stella, et al. “Ideology, Obesity and the Social Determinants of Health: A Critical Analysis of the Obesity and Health Relationship” Taylor & Francis Online, 7 June 2017.

“Obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition [13, 14] and its appearance may be a protective response to the onset of numerous chronic conditions generated from currently unknown causes [15, 16, 17, 18].

13. Kahn, BB, and JS Flier. “Obesity and Insulin Resistance.” The Journal of Clinical Investigation, Aug. 2000. 14. Cofield, Stacey S, et al. “Use of Causal Language in Observational Studies of Obesity and Nutrition.” Obesity Facts, 3 Dec. 2010.  15. Lavie, Carl J, et al. “Obesity and Cardiovascular Disease: Risk Factor, Paradox, and Impact of Weight Loss.” Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 26 May 2009.  16. Uretsky, Seth, et al. “Obesity Paradox in Patients with Hypertension and Coronary Artery Disease.” The American Journal of Medicine, Oct. 2007.  17. Mullen, John T, et al. “The Obesity Paradox: Body Mass Index and Outcomes in Patients Undergoing Nonbariatric General Surgery.” Annals of Surgery, July 2005. 18. Tseng, Chin-Hsiao. “Obesity Paradox: Differential Effects on Cancer and Noncancer Mortality in Patients with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.” Atherosclerosis, Jan. 2013.

Fatness was associated with only 1/3 the associated deaths that previous research estimated and being “overweight” conferred no increased risk at all, and may even be a protective factor against all-causes mortality relative to lower weight categories [19].

19. Flegal, Katherine M. “The Obesity Wars and the Education of a Researcher: A Personal Account.” Progress in Cardiovascular Diseases, 15 June 2021.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called “normal weight” people are “unhealthy” whereas about 50% of so-called “overweight” people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone [20]. 

20. Rey-López, JP, et al. “The Prevalence of Metabolically Healthy Obesity: A Systematic Review and Critical Evaluation of the Definitions Used.” Obesity Reviews : An Official Journal of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, 15 Oct. 2014.

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national obesity rates (nearly 35% for adults and 18% for kids), the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as fat overnight—to match international guidelines. But critics noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs [21].

21. Butler, Kiera. “Why BMI Is a Big Fat Scam.” Mother Jones, 25 Aug. 2014. 

Body size is largely determined by genetics [22].

22. Wardle, J. Carnell, C. Haworth, R. Plomin. “Evidence for a strong genetic influence on childhood adiposity despite the force of the obesogenic environment” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition Vol. 87, No. 2, Pages 398-404, February 2008.

Healthy lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index [23].  

23. Matheson, Eric M, et al. “Healthy Lifestyle Habits and Mortality in Overweight and Obese Individuals.” Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine : JABFM, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 25 Feb. 2012.

Weight stigma itself is deadly. Research shows that weight-based discrimination increases risk of death by 60% [24].

24. Sutin, Angela R., et al. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality .” Association for Psychological Science, 25 Sept. 2015.

Fat stigma in the medical establishment [25] and society at large arguably [26] kills more fat people than fat does [27, 28, 29].

25. Puhl, Rebecca, and Kelly D. Bronwell. “Bias, Discrimination, and Obesity.” Obesity Research, 6 Sept. 2012. 26. Engber, Daniel. “Glutton Intolerance: What If a War on Obesity Only Makes the Problem Worse?” Slate, 5 Oct. 2009.  27. Teachman, B. A., Gapinski, K. D., Brownell, K. D., Rawlins, M., & Jeyaram, S. (2003). Demonstrations of implicit anti-fat bias: The impact of providing causal information and evoking empathy. Health Psychology, 22(1), 68–78. 28. Chastain, Ragen. “So My Doctor Tried to Kill Me.” Dances With Fat, 15 Dec. 2009. 29. Sutin, Angelina R, Yannick Stephan, and Antonio Terraciano. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality.” Psychological Science, 26 Nov. 2015.

There's my "proof." Where is yours?

[vaxxman]

Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

[ghostlynachopanda]

Marks pt 2

a/n: 43 assignments, 3 exams, and 2 lab reports later she lives. barely lol. Grammarly called it mid, it's a chonker lowkey. here's this one pals.

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

words: 2.3k

part one

~~~

Wednesday had not been able to initiate any kisses for 9 days, 18 hours, and 36 minutes — not that she was counting. At first, watching you cringe at any look was amusing. Unfortunately, the marks she gave you were starting to fade. Wednesday craved to give you more, but you stuck to your word.

You had tried so hard to hide to hickeys on your neck. At first, you pulled the hood over your head, making it near impossible to see your face. Watching you cower behind the hood of the jacket she let you borrow was comical. The sight made a smirk pull at her lips.

It took more effort to keep a neutral face when a teacher told you to take the hood off. Your classmates took notice immediately, forcing your efforts to be in vain. Some sent you looks of concern and others wore a knowing look. However, no one was brave enough to say anything.

For once, Wednesday wondered what it looked like from everyone else's perspective. To have their object of affection be so obviously claimed by someone else. She briefly wondered if it inflamed jealousy in her classmates, but that thought quickly morphed into pride. You are hers.

Any amusement she felt was washed away when you moved your hand away from hers under the table. She immediately sent you a look mixed with concern and confusion. You answered with a raised eyebrow and gesture towards your neck. Her features instantly fell. She didn't think you'd actually follow through with the punishment.  

You shook your head and tried to focus on class. The disappointment Wednesday was feeling was palpable — at least it was for you. You could see her out of the corner of your eye. She kept a hand under the table as she went turned her attention back to her notes.

You huffed quietly, annoyed by how guilty she was making you feel. You eyed the hand in her lap, sitting there tauntingly. You could feel your resolve crack the longer you looked at it. You gingerly reached out to grasp it. Noticing how Wednesday was snapped out of her foul mood.

You decided then that having no contact was practically impossible. Wednesday sought contact almost as much as you did. You weren't entirely sure you could go without any contact from Wednesday for long. When she brushed her thumb over your knuckles you're resolved broke.

You realized shortly after that not kissing Wednesday was also an impossible task. Not only were her lips captivating in every way imaginable, but having the sweet aftertaste of her was something you desperately craved every moment of the day. Your resolve broke once again. You fleetingly thought about withdrawing the punishment altogether but decided against it. Settling for not letting her initiate any kisses for the time being.

However, Wednesday wasn't satisfied; even when she knew your resolve broke. She itched to have her lips on yours of her own volition — to leave more of her marks on your skin. The only way she could get what she wanted was through retaliation. 

Her retaliation was something she'd normally be ashamed of. She wanted to break your resolve entirely. She wanted you to be the one to end the punishment early so her dignity came out intact. You didn't need to know about her internal torment. Not when this whole situation was your fault.

Wednesday started to take her frustrations out in the kisses you shared — kissing you ardently. She had no reservations in holding back, letting her hands wander in place of her lips. Purposefully leaving your clothes rumpled, your chest heaving, and your lips swollen.

Wednesday had watched your resolve crack each time she kissed you. Unfortunately, her own resolve was cracking with each kiss. She needed you to extract the punishment. Her invitation to review notes was a cover. She was going to get you to drop the retribution before anything else.

Wednesday had a plan in place, and multiple backup plans were included. She went through her routine of tidying the room before your arrival, going through every possible scenario as she waited. She was so preoccupied she didn’t hear the knock on the door. Only taking notice when Enid opened the door.

"Hey! I didn’t know you were coming, what's up?" Enid inquired, opening the door wider for you to step inside.

"Wednesday invited me over to go over some of the notes from this week. Are you studying with us too?" you asked in return. Unintentionally inviting Enid to stay.

You busied yourself with taking out the necessary materials, not noticing the glare and shake of Wednesday's head. Enid gulps before going to her side of the room to grab her school bag.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna head out. I told Yoko I would gossip with her tonight anyway," Enid said, lying through her teeth.

"Oh okay. Have fun and stay safe," you replied cordially, finally looking up at the two.

"Sure! Text me if you want me to bring anything back," Enid easily responded. Bouncing over to give you a hug, ignoring the deadly look Wednesday sent her. "I'll be back later! Try not to hurt your brain too much, love you!"

You sent a friendly wave towards the already shut door, hoping she didn’t feel obligated to leave. You turn to look at Wednesday, who already rid her face of any murderous traces. She looked you over, noticing how you are wearing a hoodie — something that will get in her way later.

She silently takes calculated steps in your direction, cautious not to step on your things. When she reaches her desired distance, she reaches for your hand. "I've missed you," she whispered.

She watched your breath hitch and your eyes scan her face. Your lips parted and quivered with unspoken words. She let you take a moment to gather yourself, knowing your response will guide her plan.

"I've missed you too," you replied breathlessly.

Wednesday knew you were so close to breaking your resolve. She was also aware she was just as close to breaking her resolve too. Your warmth was tantalizing. Your eyes swirled with nothing but love, it was affecting her train of thought. Her brain was slowly starting to become single-minded. Her thoughts want to think of nothing but you.

She knew what would have to happen for your resolve to break, to fall into a million pieces. It was the same intimate act that would collapse her own. She knew she stood there for too long and needed to move on to her first backup plan.

Wednesday cleared her throat and took a step back, keeping your hands connected. "Let's go ahead and-"

"Can I kiss you?" you asked quietly, cutting her off. She hadn't expected that, but she could make it work. It had nothing to do with the fact she wanted to kiss you. More than anything.

Instead of verbally answering, she pulled you in by your hand. Putting her free hand on the back of your head to pull you to her. She stopped when you were only a hair's breadth away.

Your eyes were closed, your cheeks were red, and you just looked completely at her mercy. It was utterly satisfying, knowing she had all the power in this situation. Knowing she had won. With that, she closed the distance and gently brushed her lips against yours.

You put your hands on her waist, pulling her as close as possible. Her, now, freed hand moved to your neck, gently tracing the almost faded marks she memorized. A shiver ran wracked your body, causing Wednesday to smile into the kiss.

She had always thoroughly enjoyed how responsive you were. Even if the responses were small or insignificant.

Once again, Wednesday let her emotions poor into the kiss. Easily forcing it to become heavy. This time, you equally responded to her. You reciprocated all of her actions in your own way.

When you pulled away, your breaths were heavy, mingling in the short distance between your lips. You press your forehead on hers, trying to catch your breath.  

Wednesday slowly and gently guided you to her bed. Sitting you down before settling over your lap, legs on either side of your own. Naturally, you put your hands on her waist to steady her. Her eyes swam with adoration and desire.

You can't help but lean up to connect your lips once more. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of her lips and her taste. Your fingers graze the skin of her stomach, hesitant on moving upwards.

She moved one hand to one of yours, softly moving it toward the expanse of her skin. Your hands are cold against her torso, feeling goosebumps rise on her skin. She nips at your bottom lip at the feeling, making you release a quiet groan. Eager to hear that sound again, she tilts her head to bite your lip more forcefully.

The feeling have you tightening your grip on her waist, pulling her flush against you. Disconnecting your lips to trail them to her jaw, she tilts her head to give you more space. Leaving open mouth kisses in your wake, slowly working your way up to leaving your own marks.

You trail your hands higher, gently playing with the fabric of her bra. You use her soft sounds and reactions to guide you, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. You lightly move your hands under her bra and graze the underside of her breasts as you bite down on her neck. You gently run your tongue over the rapidly reddening spot to soothe it.

Wednesday's breathing is loud and uneven. Breathless moans leave her lips every time your teeth graze her neck. She pushes herself against you and grinds down on your lap. You pull away, the absence of your warmth pains her.

"Wednesday, take it off," you breathlessly pant before returning to her neck.

She understands straight away and rushes to remove the jacket she's wearing. She carelessly tosses it somewhere behind her, moving to get your jacket off next. It proves more difficult, as you refuse to detach yourself from her.

When maneuvers it off she forces her lips onto yours. Teeth accidentally clacking against each other. Your hands move back under her shirt, moving to rub the skin of her back. You drag your lips to her neck, once again leaving trails of color. You find the juncture between her neck and shoulder and bite down just as you drag your nails down her back. Her breath hitches and then she lets out a long quiet moan.

 She pushes you onto your back, forcing you to bring your hands from under her shirt. You lean on your elbows and try to catch your breath as she looks at you. You can see the hickeys you left and feel proud.

"My turn," she stated.

Just as your lips met you both hear the loud sound of keys outside the door. The sound of the key sliding in and out of the lock snapped you and Wednesday into action. You both rush to put your jackets back on, hoping it wasn’t obvious.

The loud thud outside the door startles you both, "Oh no! I dropped my book!" Enid exclaims, voice muffled by the door.

The absurdity of her action makes you laugh. Wednesday can't help but smile at how lovely your laugh sounds. Though that smile is replaced with a glare when Enid walks through the door.

Enid scans the room, immediately noticing the marks on Wednesday's neck, and smirks. You finally got your revenge, Enid notes. The blonde notices you laughing with tears collecting in your eyes and asks, "Why are you laughing?"

"You’re hilarious Enid, thank you," you reply between giggles.

"Well thank you, ma'am," Enid says bowing.

You feel the threatening aura Wednesday is emitting. Clearly upset you two were interrupted, again. You turn to look at her, "Wednesday, let's go to my room. My roommate said they won't be coming home tonight."

It's silent for a moment, "Fine,"

You stand in the middle of the room, hoping to stop Wednesday from attacking Enid. You gather your stuff quickly before bidding goodnight to Enid as you and Wednesday walk out the door.

"I almost killed her," Wednesday says.

"I know," you answer.

---

Wednesday shakes you awake in the morning. You blink owlishly at her, "Are you alright?" you ask hurridly. 

"This," she gestures to her neck, "This isn't funny." 

You blink a couple of times, "I don't know what you're referring to, Wednesday. I'm going back to sleep."

"Help me hide them," she demands

"You reap what you sow, Wednesday"

Running on basically no sleep 😙✌️

tags: @alexkolax @rainbow-love4ever @o638 @tundra1029 @greyscxle-is-taken @the-lazy-turtle

[utilitycaster]

Regarding Editing and Innovating in the space, 2 people who get a Fraction of the credit they deserve are Ivan Van Norman & Marisha Ray. I mean, they created and developed one of the original mixed media cinematic interactive actual plays, Sagas of Sundry: Dread, and then Sagas of Sundry: Madness, and Marisha (later hiring Ivan as well) has continued that trajectory in some of the more intriguingly edited mixed format Actual plays at CR, like Call of Cthulhu, Undeadwood, and others, and being Instrumental in the developments at CR. Like, when you do watch the interviews you get a sense of just how Much of CR's current content designs, ttrpg intentions, and series are marisha's brainchilds, and it sucks that she doesnt get the credit others involved in similar projects, and even those projects, do.

This is a great point. I've mentioned this before w/r/t the fandom - Marisha, perhaps more than anyone, gets reduced even by many fans to "she's pretty and her characters are like what if a girlboss were a girlfailure" and her creative direction goes unheralded. It feels like this has gotten worse in recent years; I was baffled at how many people seemingly resented Calamity or Candela for taking up space they felt should go only to the main campaign when those were not only showcases for Marisha as a performer but also clearly something in which she had a strong hand in designing. Whenever people whine about there only being two main campaign episodes in a month because of Candela Obscura, I do think "You realize this was probably Marisha's call?"

I was focused in my response much more on Daggerheart, and so on the game design side (quick side note - reviews of A Familiar Problem, which Marisha worked on, were pretty positive; I wonder if something's happened in the past 2 years since that's when I've really felt this Damn Critical Role energy among actual play journalists), but I had been thinking about Sagas of Sundry and Undeadwood! I think I mentioned Sagas of Sundry in one of my posts about how Kollok isn't, in my mind, impressive. I loved Dread but never finished Madness before Alpha folded, but actually I was imagining something like Madness - fully on a set, people walking around like it's a play - for Kollok! When I saw everyone at a table with that rotating rock I was like "is this...it?" And, you know, Sagas: Madness wasn't entirely for me, but you can't fault the innovation. Similarly, when I think about the (baffling) criticism from one of the prominent actual play journalists I've had in mind while writing this, that Candela Obscura the show did not fully teach people Candela Obscura the game, I think about how Ivan Van Norman did straight up teach Savage Worlds during Undeadwood. Whenever people gush over the shadow puppets in Burrow's End I think it's deserved, but when they claim it's utterly new? Nah. Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Crystal Palace did it first. And Marisha had a guiding hand in the creative direction of all of these.

I think this is sort of elaboration on one of my points in my original post: I think a lot of the journalists are really out of their depth. I don't remember seeing their names when I first started watching CR in 2018, or when I got deeper into the fandom in 2019. My first actual play was TAZ, which I binged in late 2017. I really think a lot of the journalists flat-out don't know Sagas of Sundry or Undeadwood because they didn't show up until after Alpha folded. I've mentioned this elsewhere but so much of the claims of novelty and innovation are completely incorrect and not even terribly obscure. Look, I've seen/listened to most or all of 9 actual plays (this is counting D20 and CR each as one single unit, by the way - I've seen all but scattered one-offs from either), and seen or heard an episode or two of many more. I think that simply by doing that? I know more than a lot of these journalists.

Again: Worlds Beyond Number? The innovation is with the Witch class and the Wizard of the Citadel subclasses, and the allowance of extremely long downtime, but: longform podcast actual play with sound design? RQG did it starting in 2015. Griffin McElroy and Emily Axford have been composing their own music since 2017 or 2018 for their respective shows, both of which are also longform podcast actual plays. Again, Brennan pretty explicitly said "I don't think D20 is new, nor longform" in a quote and the article that quotes him argues that Fantasy High is new and longform...and that article also talks about how before D20 most AP video was livestreamed before talking about how boundary-breaking D20 was for having a livestreamed second season (you know, the thing that they just called old hat a paragraph earlier) that quickly pivoted to remote (even though remote livestreaming was actually quite common in smaller productions well before the pandemic, since you don't need anything but laptop cameras to produce it). I don't even keep up with much in the really indie AP scene, but those people I know who do are even less impressed by the state of Actual Play journalism than I, because D20 executes a lot of things extremely well, has a very talented roster of performers, and a budget most productions cannot hope to match, but a good deal of what it's credited for inventing (and which, again, it never claims to have invented. I want to be clear that the journalists decided to be like this for no clear reason) already existed. And, by placing this heavy emphasis on production, they are automatically making it hard for indie productions to impress them. For all they claim to be going after the 700 lb gorilla, they are simply cozying up to the 600 lb gorilla. It's real "um, why don't you try this little indie game called Pathfinder" hours.

I am fairly sure a lot of the people in prominent journalistic positions in the actual play sphere today came in only after the collapse of Geek and Sundry, is my point, and so I think they literally do not realize how much the medium owes to, for example, Marisha Ray and Ivan Van Norman, because they weren't watching in 2016 nor even skipping through the G&S archives, as I did as a new CR fan. I think they're absolutely out of their depth, and most of them don't even realize it.

[itsmyfandomandilikeit]

What we actually know about the renewal of Star Trek: Prodigy

Ok so there's been some speculation going around that Prodigy is or is not being renewed. The fact is that there has been zero news on the topic, official or otherwise, and anyone claiming to know differently is wrong or lying.

That being said, there are some things we do know:

1. Netflix is of course notorious for canceling things. I am an Inside Job fan. I know. However, they almost never leave things ambiguous. They aren't shy. When things are canceled, they make a clear public statement saying that it's canceled. Usually within two weeks of airing.

2. All of the clear public statements we've gotten from Netflix and the Prodigy crew have been consistent: Netflix will decide when they get more data. Recently, Aaron Waltke said on a podcast that they will review the viewing numbers from the first six months after season 2 was released, which occurred on July 1. This lines up with Netflix's data release schedule, which collates viewing data from the first and second halves of the year.

3. They are also waiting on a few other things. Namely, Netflix still commissions Paramount to create seasons of Prodigy. The sale of things like DVDs, Blu-Rays, digital downloads, and those new ship models that are coming out this December, affect the price of a season of Prodigy. Merchandise sales and licensing pay for a portion of it, and Netflix has to cover the rest of the cost. I'm sure the new theme park ride affects this as well. The cost to commission a season of Prodigy is determined by a number that is very much, at the moment, in a state of flux because of the upcoming physical media and merchandise releases, which could do well or not.

4. It was announced that the Hagemans have been added to a LEGO Ninjago project, and there has been some speculation that they will be unable to work on Prodigy because of this. This is irrelevant. The Hagemans have stated repeatedly that they typically work on 2 or 3 projects at once. To my knowledge, Aaron Waltke was working on Transformers One during the production of Prodigy season 2. This is just normal. They're getting work because their work has done well.

5. Prodigy costs the least of any Star Trek project to produce, but it is also the only Star Trek project that Netflix has access to. If, say, Section 31 does extremely well, Netflix can't get any portion of that success except for through Prodigy. Netflix also knows that very few new users are actually signing up for Paramount+, and indeed many users are leaving the platform, so Prodigy remains a good investment for Netflix. No matter how well this season of Lower Decks does, Netflix can't buy it because it's not for sale.

6. Data from 2023 indicated that Prodigy outperformed all of the rest of Star Trek on Netflix (admittedly, the US is not counted in this). What's especially notable about this is that it was only available for one week in 2023. In the first half of 2024, Prodigy continued to do well on the Netflix platform, despite it effectively only playing reruns during that time. Netflix will not release numbers for the second half of 2024 until next year.

7. Prodigy has the budget and appeal of a children's show, but it also has an avid adult audience. Many adults are watching it just because it's Star Trek or because they want to keep up with the overall story. Anyone who wants to maintain Star Trek completion must watch Prodigy, which is only available through Netflix.

8. Marketing is typically the lion's share of the cost of any media, but no marketing was done for Prodigy. It relied on word of mouth and the Star Trek brand. This affects how expensive it is to Netflix.

9. Finally this is not about the show itself but I just don't think that the story is over because plotlines in Star Trek never really end. Watching TAS is like the Leo Dicaprio pointing meme of seeing how Discovery was designed from a ton of these episodes. Every detail of the older shows is spun into entire plotlines in NuTrek. Whether or not Prodigy is renewed, these characters and species have been added to the canon and more than likely it will never let them go. If there isn't a new season, there will be video games, books, comic books, theme park attractions, stupid hats (that I'll buy), sunglasses, t-shirts, board games, markers, branded blankets, posters, and anything else you can think of. I kinda don't know how I feel about this but it is what I think. No matter how many seasons of Prodigy there actually will be, I'm sure the characters and settings will be brought back thirty years from now for better or worse.

[guusagi]

MCR Fanfic Rec/Review List #2

Welcome in!

I recently created a long mcr fanfic rec/review, that you can find here. This post is a continuation of that! Less introductory yapping in this one, I promise. I read a lot more fics since writing the initial rec/review list, and I just HAD to make another one. Please give all of these a chance! This took longer than I expected oops...

Ships: Frerard & Fun Ghoul/Party Poison, Gerard/Bob Bryar (yep).

AUs: Office Workers, Gardening Services, Ghost/Paranormal, Superheros/Radio Show Host, Murder Mystery, and more!

Without further ado these are my picks!

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The Science of Sleep by chimneythunder

Rating: Teens and Up (there is smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard & Frank/Party Poison Main POV: Frank AU: Modern World/Danger Days Status: Completed with 9 chapters and 93k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883120 My Summary: Frank is living a boring office-job life, but one day he starts having reoccuring dreams about a certain apocalyptic California...Little does he know, they aren't really dreams after all! He also meets an artsy guy at a coffee shop that is somehow connected to all of this? Frank dreams start taking over his waking life...what is really going on here?! Personal Thoughts: This fanfic was really fun!! I was surprised with how unique the premise is here. Frank travels to the Danger Days world everytime he falls asleep, and reading about his journey from thinking it's a dream, to figuring out it was reality after all was super entertaining (this isnt a spoiler as a reader you know its real). I also love the portrayal of everyone in this story, especially Ray and Party Poison, they're just so fun and believable! I can't stress enough how original this story is, honestly a super fun take on the usual Danger Days AU! It also has excellent writing and pacing, can't beat that!

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Living for the knife by drunkonyou

Rating: Teens and Up (no smut) Pairing: Ferard Main POV: Frank AU: Superhero Frank x Radio Show Host Gerard Status: Completed, oneshot with 50k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41442144 My Summary: Frank is what you would call a superhero, after rescuing Gerard from being mugged by a mysterious man and saving his life, he almost quits being a superhero due to the trauma of that night. Inspired by his rescue, Gerard starts a radio show where he discusses what Frank is up to, and his listeners share their experiences, theories on what his secret identity is and...ultimately lots of false rumors as well. One day, Gerard recieves a weird listener on call who claims to know who this hero really is...and that he wants to come back for more. It looks like Frank is going to have to rescue Gerard once again! Personal Thoughts: This is a shorter fic, however it felt really long in the best way! I was super invested in the plot of the story, and Frank suffers SO much in this one, it's really sad actually. The relationship Gerard and him build is super cute, who doesn't love a classic rescuing scenario?! I don't have tons to say about this, but the atmosphere is super cool and film noir-esque! Radio show host Gerard is an excellent idea all things considered, please give this one a read!

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Shadowplay by findingsaturn

Rating: Explicit (smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank AU: Ghost/Witchcraft/Vampires & Murder Mystery Status: Completed with 27 chapters and 147k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872241 My Summary: Frank lives in a small town, where magical occurences such as ghosts, ghouls, witches, vampires and the like are part of the norm. He works as a paranormal investigator alongside Ray. One day on a particularly brutal case, they are tasked to find out what happened. Little did he know, it would be the start of a huge conspiracy and a unique relationship! Personal Thoughts: Wow I can't use fancy enough words to describe how I feel after reading this fic. It's honestly in the top best-written ones that I've had the honor of reading so far. The intrigue and mystery is amazing, Frank's relationship with Gerard is just..so tragic yet beautiful, you really feel for the characters in this story. Everyone went through different tragedies in their lives. And the slowburn uuugh uuuuughh.. please give this one a read! It was also surprisingly scary, the atmosphere was real creepy and some of the later scenes are super TERRIFYING! Otherwise, I loved this one so much I'll read it again someday!

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The Best Part of My Day by pixie_revolver

Rating: Explicit (there is smut in the middle and end.) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank AU: Office Workers! Status: Completed with 14 chapters and 63k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45339874 My Summary: Frank works at an office, and one day bumps into a person he had not seen before and spills coffee over himself!.. This person is also the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, and fell in love at first sight! We follow Frank's shenanigans as he tries to learn more about his crush, while also being teased relentlessly by his coworkers. Will he get the courage to learn more about Gerard..? Personal Thoughts: This fic was short but SO fun! I was entertained from chapter 1, it's honestly written in a really comedic way. I was laughing and giggling throughout the entire story. Frank is sooo down bad for Gerard, and Gerard is so oblivious about it! Their relationship blossoms in the most adorable way... I want to re-read this one if I'm ever feeling down. There's also a cute touch at almost every chapter where you see Frank texting various friends who keep teasing him about Gerard, this gives a lot of personality to the story! I usually don’t comment on the smut, but it’s really good not gonna lie. Otherwise it’s a very fluffy fic and one of my faves on this list!

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Tints of Rainbow Hue by turps

Rating: Mature (no smut) Pairings: Part 1 thru 2 is Frikey; Part 3 focuses on Gerard/Bob Main POV: Bob & Various AU: Gardening Services Gang! Status: Completed with 3 parts, total word count 65k. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3399 My Summary: Ray owns a small gardening business, he travels around with Bob, and decides it's high time to hire someone new. They hire a younger Frank, who's very colorful and full of energy! They decide to work on the miskept and overgrown Way house, where two brothers live. Gerard seems to be ill and doesn't leave the house, while his little brother Mikey provides for both of them. This story follows along the relationships that blossom there! Personal Thoughts: This one is the only fanfic I'd recommend right now that includes Bob Bryar as one of the main characters. He's actually the main POV we usually follow throughout the story, especially in the 2nd fic. The characterization of Gerard's depression was hard to read, in the sense that it felt super real. I personally have not suffered with depression, but this felt more seriously written than most others who write him in that way. THE CUTENESS of Frank and Mikey though?! I read this fic originally cus I love me some Frikey, and Frank's pretty different from his usual punk aesthetic, he's actually quite the opposite! He's like, flowery colorful pastels if anything! It was a super refreshing take on him, though his personality mostly stays the same, he's super earnest and clumsy too. I never read fics with Bob due to obvious reasons, but I was actually cheering on this fictional version of him to allow himself to love Gerard. He's so gentle, yet firm with him, and super kind and it was lovely to read... Anyways before I gush and spoil everything, give this fic a chance!

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Lethal Attraction by desolationglow

Rating: Mature (obviously, there's smut here since Frank's ya know) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank AU: Prostitute Frank x Billionaire Gerard Status: Ongoing with 41 chapters and 130k words Last update: 01/22/24 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40619025 My Summary: Set in the late 90s, Frank gets by living in Los Angeles by means of prostitution. His once best friend Gerard disappears after high school, and still misses him to this day. After a series of brutal murders, people are warned about a serial killer on the loose, and Gerard reappears into Frank's life once more. Gerard is now a successful billionaire, and invites Frank on a journey of revenge against those who wronged them. Yet, their relationship is turbulent to say the least... Personal Thoughts: SO TRIGGER WARNING... this fic includes homophobia on Gerard's part. It's set in the 90s so there's typical bigotry in this one. Also this is the idiots in love trope to an extreme! I still recommend this fic cus the story is super well-written, I couldn't put this one down! Gee's mean in this one, but you can't help but like him as a sort of anti-hero/villain. Frank's the poor dude being dragged around by him... I don't want to spoil cus there's quite a few fun plot twists in this one. Also it has not updated since January of this year, however I bumped into the author randomly on discord! Yep, it was a super funny coincidence. I don't want to say much to respect their privacy, but I will say that they have not abandoned this fic! So I definitely recommend it, please continue supporting them as there will be more eventually!

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If I Could Say the Things I Want to Say to You by I_am_but_a_holyman

Rating: Explicit (some implied smut) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank AU: single Dad Frank and college dropout Gerard / Found Family Status: Completed with 25 chapters and 97k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46030816 My Summary: Frank has been a single father for a while now and has been struggling with finding a babysitter for his 10 year old non-binary child. One day, his friend Ray introduces him to Gerard, who babysits his own kids as well... it was definitely love at first sight! For who..? Well you'll find out soon enough! This story navigates the difficulties of being a single dad, as well as being a gender non-conforming child in an unaccepting world. Personal Thoughts: I loved this story so much omg!! Frank's kid is an original character for the story and they did not dissapoint! I loved that Frank is so supportive of his non-binary child, and protects them the best way they can. Gerard's just too cute in this one as well, he's also not completely cis and likes to wear more fem clothes, like the perfect rolemodel for Frank's kiddo! Overall a fluffy story, please give it a try!

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And that about wraps it up!! Thank you so much for reading!! I don't think I will make any more of these, but who knows?!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - KISSES galore

Jan 20232 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) 6 of 10 - The mutual squealing and kicking and rolling over in bed was v cute. Tiw might actually be the greatest BL wingman of all time, yes better than Namgoong. Friend zone? Cute GMMTV, very cute. Elevator kiss, on the other hand = you little shits. Also, I’m mad you made me watch the MV because there was no way to skip through it without missing stuff. Tricky bastards. GMMTV = cute, shitty, & tricky all in one ep. Guess that’s why they’re the top of the Thai BL food chain. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) 5 of 12 - We knew that this pair kisses really well, but for the characters that was a pretty stellar first kiss. I liked that we got to see Palm really want something for a change. Up until now, he’s been a pretty passive character, constantly told what to do by others, this is the first independent choice his character actually makes in this narrative. Meanwhile the action part of the bodyguard plot has begun, which makes me happy. Let the forced proximity cohabitation trope commence! With probably at least one running through the woods holding hands to come.

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 9 of 12 - Basically a filler ep with in-your-face backstory we already sussed. Prem is doing a good job tho. WATCH ALONG HERE.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 8 of 11 - There was no GamesVee. I’m sad. 

Cutie Pie 2 You (special) 2 of 4 - Awwwww, how sweet they tried to give it a plot. Operative word being: tried. 

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 9 of 12 - Stuff in tents. Lots of cringing blushing maiden bullshit. Noey = v bold and into public claiming. I’m not wild about this one. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 14fin - Honestly, they were branded pairs so we knew ManTitle were goona kiss, but I kinda wish they hadn’t bothered. These characters just didn’t work for me as a couple. Marriage equality stinger* on this puppy. Still, what a slog. I’m only binging stuff from this studio henceforth. (Next one: Buddy Line Y Animal). Whatever. Frankly that’s my review of the show: whatever. 5/10 

* I do like that this drama teased a marriage and then intentionally never gave us that marriage on screen. For all romance genre fans, this would've felt like a slap in the face. Instead they put in a stinger that essentially said “if you want a marriage scene between men, legalize marriage in Thailand, you fuckers.” And ya know, I’m here for that. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) 4 of 8 - Ooo first date. Omg they are SO CUTE. There was a lot of squealing and flapping of hands on this side of the screen with the show. Also two out gay boys! Korea how far you have come in just a few short years! If adorable our baby boy’s 2 fag hags don’t get together by the end of this show, I will be a touch disappointed. (It has to be said. I’m not expecting it because this is still Korea doesn’t do sides in BL. But hope springs eternal.) Meanwhile, I like that there was actual desire expressed with these two. This is definitely one of the gayest BLs to have come out of Korea in recent years. If you’re confused like I was, that pen has the initial of baby’s ex crush from uni on it. 

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) 3 of 10 (or 6 of 20) - Classic that Taiwan has finally given us a femme character in a BL and he is predatory & evil. The secondary couple is the most adorable thing, I even forgive them a pratfall kiss, because there was a 3 piece suit involved. I am starting to like the main couple a little bit more, mostly because of the rich kid character. I love domesticity, and Taiwan always does it so well. The main character time traveler whatever remains a bit annoying, I prefer a sunshine archetype that is not intentionally naïve to the point of stupidity. Still, I’m invested. This is classic HIStory franchise. 

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) 4 of 8 - It’s a bit too much second hand embarrassment and cringe for me. I hope Japan someday gives us a BL like Eternal Yesterday, where both characters are cool and no one dies. Incidentally, if you’re playing a game of spot that BL actor, the one playing the “actor character” is Izuka Kenta  (from The Novelist and Absolute BL2). WE LOVE HIM. 

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Korea Weds iQIYI) 9-10fin - I honestly don’t know how I feel about this one. It was more of a red thread fated mates who are fated to repeat the mistakes of the past. Shall we call it faded mates?  And I’m not sure, even though the ending is somewhat optimistic, that I am actually optimistic about it or them as a couple. So I wouldn’t call it HEA. 

Final review? Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL is a unique twist on an office romance if NOT a unique twist on a doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. Possibly this had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how short it was the whole time, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. No HEA. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed. 6/10

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid)

GMMTV’s Midnight series - first segment has begun bit it’s not the EarthMix messy gays. I’m so not interested in messy hets, so I’m waiting until they grace my screen. Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 1 of 8 eventually.  

Gossip

I’m gonna hold off on The Warp Effect and binge it later, after I know for sure if the BL couple makes it. 

I will be taking everyone‘s advice and not watching Till the World Ends sorry not sorry. Protecting my squishy center (also I HATE xmas carols.) 

In Case You Missed It

I posted a meta of all my 2022 wraps, top picks, industry stats, etc..

I ALSO posted the 2023 forthcoming BL master post.

Coffee Shop shorts series with the adorable couple from Ghost Host, Ghost House have a WONDERFUL new installment with "BLACK COCONUT". You should watch it. Also... try the drink. 

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) starring Bah Vinh ended its run and IT’S SAD. I am so glad I waiting because now I’m not gonna watch it. So there. 

Adorable KGL Girlfriend Project, basically a very short lesbian version of Love Class. It’s cute. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Jan 19: Individual Circumstances (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - A reunion romance between a movie director who was once promising and a writer who disappeared due to past wounds. Stars JunQ (main rapper of 2nd gen group MYNAME) and Han Jung Wan (Mr International Korea winner).

2023 forthcoming BL here

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The LOOK in his eyes. I really hope we get more than crumbs from Satang Kittiphop in the future. 

Also, that outfit, definitely an instrument of hope. (Mark is going to be in Moonlight Chicken, Cooking Crush, Last Twilight, & Only Friends this year. Apparently GMMTV’s directors like him a lot. So ALL the hope. Plus more sweater vests without shirts, please and thank you.) 

Relatable. 

FINALLY! (all are My School President, it was a GREAT ep this week) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Well Monsta X released a new single, Beautiful Liar, so yeah, THAT! 

[faeriekit]

Questions for Fic Writers ✏📝💻

@chromatographic tagged me! ...And then I was at work and forgot about it by the time I got to my laptop! Sorry 😅

How many works do you have on Ao3?

My works tab claims the number to be twenty two, but at least one is a screen-reader-friendly duplicate of a Percy Jackson themed Reskin of Kids on Brooms, so it's more like...twenty one. I'd also take off of Blister Pack one-shots because they're tiny but they are one shots and those are technically valid, so...

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

355,110. Thank you, Blister Pack and Trade of Trickery!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Naruto.

...So I what I usually write and what I actually publish to ao3 are pretty different 😅 I've been doing a bunch of dp x dc fics as of late, and one dc x marvel fic, but if left to my own devices, I go back to Star Wars and Naruto and a lot of Naruto, and I have a surprising word count on a Supernatural fic which is odd considering I've never actually finished an episode of the show before.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No idea! Lemme look:

#5: Dig Three Graves in Apartment 31C. A spooky and classic contender!

#4: The Firstborn Son. My excuse for writing a almost-canon dp x dc fairy story!

#3: The Haunting of Drake Manor. Nice 😎 You may have noticed, but I'm a sucker for baby fic.

#2: You know 'em, you love 'em, it's The Health and Wellbeing of Hybrid Entities! Who doesn't love a dissection recovery fic?

#1: Which leaves, of course, Blister Pack to reign supreme o'er the ao3 account. Who's shocked? Not me.

5. Do you respond to comments?

...there's 1,900 in my inbox right at this moment.

I want to. I love responding to comments. but it's just not feasible in the way I want it to be, and that blows.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Patchwork Memories! I don't think this counts because it was just a snippet, but, you know. Angst for the sake of angst n' all that.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Blister Pack!! Find joy in packing up and getting the fuck out of there! Who needs 'em?? Hit the bricks!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've received stuff I honestly consider worse than hate, which is people who believe that I should think exactly what they think and write the fic as they believe canon should be interpreted, but here is the funniest exchange I've ever had on any fic ever:

9. Do you write smut fic? If so, what kind?

Once. I will occasionally write stuff for myself, but the reviews on the one posted smut chapter were generally that it was very, very funny. This does not give me much feedback to work off of lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The answer to both questions are dp x dc and also dp x dc. And that's generally tame as far as crossovers go.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 👀

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of! 👀 But I'd be way more amenable to that than thievery lmao.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I would never bog someone down with my symptoms disorder. I don't trust me enough to be helpful in any creative endeavor ever

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't believe in genuine OTPs, but whatever Desiree!Janet and Bruce have going on in Drake Manor is hysterical to me. I hope they get divorced and then break up and then get back together and then break up again.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want to finish Trade of Trickery. I think it will take time. But I am determined to do it. We're halfway through the Sea of Monsters and I am delusional enough to think I can make it if I just power through in some distant future

16. What are your writing strengths?

I am the recipient of divine visions which keep me going. The hard part is staying consistent when I lose steam.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am the recipient of divine visions which keep me going. The hard part is staying consistent when I lose steam.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Google translate is my friend, and I don't necessarily believe in providing translations. There's no irl subtitles. If the characters are meant to understand, I'll leave stuff around to make the context and content clear, but like, no creo que es necesario en todos situaciónes.

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

...Naruto...maybe...? No I'm wrong. It was Fairy Cube. My first divine visions/early fic thoughts were from Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness series and my first fandom I actually wrote/published fic for was Fairy Cube. Don't ask what account it was on. I borrowed my friend's ffn account. I don't remember the username anymore.

20. Favorite Fic you’ve written?

....hoo boy. Tie for Quiet Respite and Trade of Trickery. I love Comets and Drake Manor has a special place in my heart, but QR feels uniquely mine in ways that my dp x dc fics sometimes don't, and Trickery really is a love story about Sally Jackson and forgotten Demigod kids. Nothing else hits. Nothing else is the same. It's about collecting what you can in your hands and taking it with you.

@newgraywolf @cyrwrites @mysterycyclone @songue85 Anyone else want to play?

Thanks for asking, Chroma! It only took...what, a week, two weeks, to finally get to it?

[cuprohastes]

Alien: Romulus

No spoiler review: It’s a turd.

Spoiler review under the cut.

OK. So the first scene is Wayland-Utani recovering a Xenomorph pod from the wreckage of the Nostromo. You remember the Nostromo? Ground zero for a nuclear detonation? Didn’t have any alien pods with a full size alien on board?

Then it’s off to Zeta Reticuli where there’s a colony on a world without sunlight. We’re introduced to the protagonist, Generic Forgettable Person. And her brother Clearly An Android.

The company does some puppy kicking, and then it’s off to meet the rest of the cast.

Specifically the protagonist has completed her 12,000 hours of work and her contract is over. The company extends it to 24,000 hours and re-assigns her to the death mines. “Try again in 5 to 6 years!” she’s told

This is the first hint that whoever wrote the movie cannot use a calculator and doesn’t know what time it is. 12,000 hours on an 8 hour shift is 4 years at 8 hours per day. Let’s assume the company likes to make people work 12 or 16 hour shifts. That brings it down to about 3 and 2 years respectively. This will keep happening.

Then it’s off to meet every one else: There’s Sympathetic guy, Tragically Pregnant Girl, Not Vasquez, and Inexplicable Douchebag.

Stupid Plot Point 1: An entire ‘spaceship’ belonging to Wayland Utani is hanging out in orbit, but nobody knows it’s there presumably because with hundreds of cargo ships, they decided to not have any traffic control, early warning etc.

The plan is to steal the cryo-pods and fly 9 years to another colony not owned by Wayland-Utani.

Remembering that in Alien, Aliens, Prometheus and Covenant, they do longer journeys in months. This is another point where the writing team just punted.

OK so everyone zooms off without being queried, checked etc. Obvious Android Guy, whose name is actually Andy gets them onto the station. The cryo pods are out of fuel so they go to get some more, Andy Saves Douchebag form falling into a hole melted into the floor. Nobody seems to query what the fuck happened, Douchebag gets cryoburns which are never mentioned again and then about 200 facehuggers are let loose.

From where? Storage units. No eggs, no queen, just facehuggers.

Not Vasquez gets to play throat-goat, and 10 minute slater takes 5 minutes to die of alien chestburster. Yeah, the chestbursters are now instant.

The ship goes flying off course, hits a fuel silo under the ship (Actually it’s a space station), which somehow makes it zoom off to hit the rings in 1n hour instead of 36 hours, even though it should have been pushed away from the rings. The spaceship miraculously crashes, un-damaged (Y’know after hitting a fuel tank hard enought o blow it up) into a second cargo bay that… OK that’s just fucking stupid, right?

The chestburster now builds a gestation sack, guarded by ribs while everyone is picking themselves up. Douchebag finds it, decides to stick a cattle prod in and… well there’s a really gratuitous scene involving alien blood.

Tragically Pregnant girl is mutilated and dragged off for implantation.

And then it’s back to the science lab to meet an old friend! It’s Ian Holmes everyone! He’s not looking good after the digital necromancers got to him, but at least the writers thought they were being so clever by naming his character ‘Rook’ (Look, aren’t they clever? Because there was the other android called Bishop. Which was a different model, from Aliens?) and having him say the same lines that Ash, his twin said in Alien.

There’s a lot of this.

Tragically Pregnant Girl is rescued but is bleeding out. Slowly. Nobody in the future knows what a bandage is, so they decide to just leave her bleeding and stick her in a freezer

Rook claims he’s perfect the black goo. He wants the crew to return it to Planet Shithole. As a bonus he suggests Tragically Pregnant girl inject it to make her superhuman. It worked on rats! And humans are 25% rat! Look! There’s a video of a rat!

There’s also a giant tentacled exploded rat monster, but nobody looks at that side of the room.

There’s a bit of splitting up, Sympathetic guy gets shredded, Andy turns evil and is factory re-set, everyone forgets how gravity works, Tragically Pregnant girl gets all the way to the ship OK without any real effort then randomly shoots up with black slime.

Andy kills an alien and says “Get away from her… you Bitch” and the alien’s blood is conspicuous in its inability to melt through anything at all.

They get to the ship and manage to climb up to where it’s jammed, close the door, and escape in under 10 seconds, because time is like a state of mind man.

And this is where we get the kink stuff.

Tragically pregnant girl of course does not become super humab but does instantly become 9 months pregnant in 2 minutes shten have something the size of a watermelon fly out of her hoo-ha. I mean 10 seconds earlier she was in overalls but for plot expediency she’s now in some sort of long shirt with no underwear. There’s a point where Final Girl tears an umbilical the thickness of her wrist in half with her bare hands and we see the alien egg pod split… to show a baby. Aww.

The pod immediately eats through the floor. Final girl goes to collect it and uh…

The baby is now a 9 foot tall slenderman.

Where is it getting all this mass?

Meanwhile Tragically Pregnant girl inexplicably gets a scene where she sticks her hand in her top and milks herself and finds she’s got lube coming out of her tit.

This is never commented on, mentioned or in any way shape or form relevant because about two minutes later, Slenderman shows up and sucks all her blood out because sure, why not?

So Final girl just dumps it out the airlock, because apparently the writers have the imagination and creativity of an LLM.

Which is presumably why they then copy Ripley’s audio log from Alien.

Roll credits.

It’s like 30% of a decent movie and 70% a garbage fire where they spend too much time going ‘Hey… remember this from the other films? Huh?

And then just doing whatever random bit of bullshit moves the movie on, regardless of what makes sense.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I saw “Glass Onion” a few days ago with one of my cousins. Just some miscellaneous thoughts:

1) I hope Jeremy Renner has seen the movie. If he hasn’t, he definitely should once he gets out of the hospital.

2) Some of the cameos were…random. Like, yes, the role of “vaccination checker” definitely needed the talent of Ethan Hawke to bring out the complex layers of the role. But seriously, it feels like some of the actors were just bored and had a free day to help Rian Johnson out.

3) I did like how the movie was structured. It was sort of a pseudo-Rashomon where instead of conflicting accounts, we were just not seeing the full picture because we were not aware of a different character’s POV. It’s actually clever.

4) If I had to nitpick, I was a little annoyed that Benoit Blanc was written in a way that he just happens to know the answer to everything. Yeah, I know, he’s the detective, but the way he’s written in the movie makes him feel omnipotent. It’s fun to figure the mystery out along with the character, so it’s a little disappointing when the mystery is just solved for the audience, if that makes sense. It’s like they’re telling us what was happening instead of showing, which isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but can still be annoying.

5) My cousin: “Jessica Henwick was just vibing in the movie lol. Everyone else had these big dramatic roles, and then there’s Jessica just showing up every now and then.”

6) Rian Johnson claims this movie isn’t about Elon Musk…but I feel Musk had to have inspired this movie a teensy bit. Maybe that’s just Rian covering his ass so he doesn’t get sued for defamation.

7) Amogus

8) If I had to pick a cast member who stood out, I’d obviously pick Janelle Monae. But Batista definitely gets second place, he really killed it as Filipino/Greek Andrew Tate.

9) Okay, another nitpick. I liked the overall movie, but I did not like the “look how quirky I am!” tone that Johnson was going for. It’s fine for the first third of the movie, but just becomes obnoxious as the movie goes on. I would’ve preferred a more mature, grounded mystery, but hey, that’s just me.

Overall review: As someone who didn’t care for “Knives Out” (I think I gave that movie a letter grade of C or C-), I thought “Glass Onion” was a massive improvement. The mystery was better thought out, the characters were more engaging, and, aside from Jessica Henwick, the cast was better utilized. I just would’ve preferred less quirkiness and a climax that wasn’t just Daniel Craig explaining the mystery. So, for a letter grade, I give it an A-.

[jasper-pagan-witch]

10 least favorite witchy books. I wanna know what you hate most

Ask Me My Top 10/Top 5 Anything

See what I mean about this and the previous ask?

1: House Witch OR Green Witch | Arin Murphy-Hiscock: Most things by Arin Murphy-Hiscock suck. These two are just copy-pastes of each other.

2: Anything by Doreen Virtue: She's a scammer and a grifter, what more can I say?

3: Psychic Witch | Mat Auryn: A fucking dredge to get through. Painful in so many words. I have a review on it posted on my blog somewhere.

4: Rebel Witch | Kelly-Ann Maddox: I don't hate this because it's bad (it's perfectly fine), it's just that it's so fucking repetitive and Wiccan-centric. It just didn't feel nearly as rebellious as it claimed it was trying to be.

5: The Goodly Spellbook | Coven Olvenwilde: This one got a whole ass rant.

6: A Spellbook For the Seasons | Tudorbeth: The first flaming piece of garbage I ever reviewed on Tumblr. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, also extremely repetitive despite the weird season segregation? Don't know what that was all about.

7: A Tea Witch's Grimoire: Magical recipes for your teatime. | S M Harlow: This one was...strange. You know those compilations of tea recipes you find on Tumblr? Now imagine if someone combined that into a book and sold it on Amazon for fifteen bucks. They don't even taste good and the book is somehow STILL stock full of appropriation and misuse of terminology. How the fuck.

8: Elements of Witchcraft series | various authors, published by Llewellyn Publishing: I only use these for crystal and plant correspondences, sometimes animal ones too. Every time I open it to a different page, I want to strangle the publishing house with my bare hands.

9: In fact, let's just add anything original that gets produced by Llewellyn Publishing.

10: And most books on my correspondences shelf. They're fine for correspondences, but I avoid the actual content because otherwise I'd want to bite out someone's throat like a werewolf.

Bonus: It's Witchcraft: a beginner’s guide to secular & non-secular witchcraft | Jamie Weaver: A hodgepodge mess. Difficult to read and follow. Not nearly as secular as it's trying to be.

~Jasper

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10/08/2024 (Charli xcx/Billie Eilish, Hanumankind/Kalmi)

It makes way too much sense that as “Brat Summer” begins to slowly fizzle out, Charli xcx would replenish it with one more outrageous single and video, this one tied to the biggest name she’s collaborated with on this project yet, for a moment that seems to already be embedded in pop culture from just people claiming it will be. It makes even more sense that despite this only being Billie Eilish’s third #1, Charli’s second and her first since “I Love It” with Icona Pop in 2012… that the new track, “Guess”, landed directly at the top of the UK Singles Chart. But first, we’ll need to talk about what’s, well, under there. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

content warning: language, references to antisemitism, addiction and Drake

Rundown

This isn’t the busiest week, but what has been happening within it is definitely of note and absolutely of interest. As always, we start with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to both of the posthumous Nate Dogg remixes, thank God, those being “Pick Up the Phone” by PAWSA and “6 in the Morning” by Flex (UK), as well as “Chk Chk Boom” by Stray Kids, “Tough” by Quavo and Lana Del Rey, “places to be” by Fred again.., Anderson .Paak and CHIKA, “Miles on It” by Marshmello and Kane Brown and, finally, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande.

As for our re-entries and notable gains, it was an interesting week. Ella Langley’s “you look like you love me” featuring Riley Green is back at #74, and we also see resurgences for “Bring Me Joy” by Rudimental and Karen Harding at #69 and “Close to You” by Gracie Abrams at #66, though there are assisted by plenty of gains, those being “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren at #67, “Alibi” by Sevdaliza, Pabllo Vittar and Yseult at #58, “Houdini” by Dua Lipa at #42, “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #41, “LUNCH” and “WILDFLOWER” by Billie Eilish at #64 and #37, really happy about that second one, even if it’s all due to residual “Guess” gains, “Somedays” by Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D at #31, “feelslikeimfallinginlove” by Coldplay at #26, “Red Wine Supernova” and “HOT TO GO!” by Chappell Roan at #32 and #15 respectively, “Bye Bye Bye” by *NSYNC at #12… sure, and finally, taking a nice little boost from the new remix, Charli xcx has both “360” at #11 and, surprisingly overtaking it, “Apple” at #8. Oh, and Jordan Adetunji put Kehlani on “KEHLANI” and sneaked up to #9 for his first top 10 but we don’t need to spend much time on… that. Kehlani themselves have only peaked as high as #25 with “Nights Like This” in 2019.

Our top five this week all crept down a spot to make room for the new leader: “Stargazing” by Myles Smith is at #5, “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish at #4, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #3, “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter at #2… all to allow for the bomb at #1 as Charli xcx debuts “Guess”, with the Official Charts Company for once actually crediting Eilish as a feature on the remixed version that took it this far, probably on the grounds that it had no chance at #1 otherwise. We’ll talk more on that later, but for now, let’s look at the oddities that debuted below.

New Entries

#71 - “Stumblin’ In” - CYRIL

Produced by CYRIL

We’re giving the guy whose claim to fame is an unlistenable remix of Disturbed’s “Sound of Silence” cover a career… why? So “Stumblin’ In” is originally a very schmaltzy but perfectly fine, in fact very endearing, soft rock duet from Chris Norman and Suzi Quatro. It’s nothing special, especially from 1978 adult contemporary, but there’s absolutely a charm to just how in love these two sound. Despite Norman being English, the song was much bigger in Quatro’s native States and… well, pretty much everywhere else, as it was only a mid-sized success here, peaking at just #41. The #1 that week was “Rat Trap” by The Boomtown Rats, which is actually one of my favourite ever #1s. Norman never found much success after this, with “Stumblin’ In” being somewhat of a fluke, and it reminds Quatro’s biggest US hit chartwise by quite a large margin. Last year, this Australian guy CYRIL took the vocals and placed them over the most basic house beat and called it a day, with what has to be some of the laziest sound design I’ve ever heard on a charting EDM hit - is that guitar line taken straight from AI-separated stems of the original or is it just that low in the mix and underproduced? The song functions, barely, but it does very little with the original’s structure, refuses to develop on it and does not even try to make the original strings - torn apart by the shoddy stem separation - or Norman’s rough vocals fit in with the modern production. More than anything, this is just useless, and we have another EDM remix of an unfitting soft rock track coming that should show this guy, who clearly is trying to make this his niche, how it’s successfully done.

#65 - “FIELD TRIP” - Kanye West and Ty Dolla $ign featuring Playboi Carti, Don Toliver and Kodak Black

Produced by Wheezy, Dez Wright and The Legendary Traxster

Sigh… the post-”death con” Kanye discourse was tiring long before the time we even got to VULTURES 1, so the fact we only have one track from the sequel debuting is probably a blessing. Many fans and critics alike have now completely overlooked Ye’s history of… controversial statements to say the least, which baffles me because the only reason there’s no antisemitism on this episode is that whoever’s handling its production took a line out of “DEAD”, yet the major reason why people are looking past it may also be because of those same, and I say this phrase loosely, executive producers who put out this clearly unfinished album whilst Ye is off the nitrous oxide designing non-clothes for his wife. The same guys who removed that line for the sake of the bag also took YouTube rips of fan favourite leaks like “530” and placed them on the record without finishing them, updated the album post-haste to add ad-libs no fan seems to have actually wanted, failed to clear a single sample on the album, ruined some of Ye’s best unfinished material by running CyHi through AI (that could be a bar) to make him sound like a robot Kanye on “SKY CITY”, and are currently “updating” the album by charging fans money for leaks they’ve had circulating for years, including ones like “CAN U BE”, which predate this era by a decade and have no relation to Ty Dolla $ign… not that the albums do either, even if Atlantic wants 40% of their revenue.

With all that said, I actually liked VULTURES 2 quite a bit, which appears to be a hot take online: this is the most straightforward and cohesive Ye has been in structuring an album since Yeezus, it’s compelling to hear mostly refreshing bangers undercut with the sinister semi-ballads about how possessive he was over Kim Kardashian, whilst he references his older material to desperate cling onto past greatness in what ends up as an interesting back and forth mostly ruined by two weak closing tracks. Fix “SKY CITY”, take off some of the filler, and it’s a great album without needing to record any new vocals from Ye, and yes, that includes the mumble reference track, I think it works on here. Yet I really don’t want to spend much of my time defending a clearly mentally struggling neo-Nazi’s work being mishandled by vultures picking off of the remnants of his artistic output for what appears to them as easy money but really deprecates the value of his catalogue and by extension, their presence in the Yeezy staff meetings. I like this album, mostly, and same goes for this song, a rage banger with incomprehensible Don Toliver falsettos, Vory filling in for Ye under a Kanye AI filter in his tiny verse he already shares with Ty, and an industrial Portishead sample digging in behind Kodak’s nasal sex bars in a way that makes him sound interesting for once… but, even more so than other industry shenanigans that make it difficult for me to admit I enjoy a lot of pop songs, the circumstances surrounding Ye are just too sad.

I don’t pity the racist millionaire, the abusers featuring on this tracks or his chief of propaganda Ty Dolla $ign, but I do pity fellow former fans of Ye who mostly hated this project as it serves as the deathliest reminder so far that not only is our GOAT kind of washed, there might not be much left of him at all, on an artistic and honestly mental level. It’s pitiful, and for a fanbase like Ye’s, who have dealt with a lot more than even the industry is willing to deal with for the sake of the eventual release of a quality project, and have for years now been curating their own remix albums that far outweigh the genuine article on consistency and creativity, I really understand that this is probably the absolute final moment for those diehards to jump off ship, with the album’s first-week sales evidencing that to some extent. Ye fans are now going to bat for Milo fucking Yiannopoulos because out of all people around Ye, he’s the one giving them hope by feeding into a victim complex narrative and accusing Ye’s dentist of giving him brain damage. Whether that’s true or not, I can’t know for sure, and it’s not like there’s no evidence of Ye being off nitrous or his mental capabilities being impaired in the past half a decade, but I do know that if your source of hope for your favourite artist arises from famous alt-lite prick Milo Yiannopoulos… you might be just as “FRIED”.

If you still care about Ye, check out “RIVER”, it’s a legitimately great song without any of the qualifiers I have to give the guy nowadays, but otherwise, you’ll need to stomach at least as much as I have of those little “yes, but…” copium doses to truly enjoy the record. I don’t see this trilogy being finished, and honestly, for the sake of Ye’s family and fans, I think that’s for the best.

…Oh, and because I’m obliged to, “Machine Gun” by Portishead peaked at #52 in 2008. The #1 that week was, ironically, Estelle’s “American Boy” featuring Kanye West.

#61 - “Double Life” - Pharrell Williams

Produced by Pharrell Williams

I know that Pharrell’s solo releases aren’t on many a radar nowadays, and outside of 2014, have never really been his strong suit since he’s a producer first and foremost, but the man released one of my favourite albums of the year, and it’s a real shame how overlooked it’s been. Now I do know exactly why that is - it’s a psychedelic pop and rock album released subtly on his website, not on streaming services, and features mostly summery pop jams released on his birthday, though a bit too early in the year to really catch on. I recommend the whole album if you can get your hands on it, I know that I’ve personally found his sticky, bedroom-produced set of bops pretty resonant, though I’m a bit of a Pharrell stan, this is the closest we’ll get to an N.E.R.D. album for a long time, it’s probably not for everybody. So colour me surprised when he’s charting a solo single that basically sounds just like that album except the reason why it’s here is primarily because… it’s from the Despicable Me 4 soundtrack.

One of the elements of Pharrell I’ve never fully understood is his undying love for the Minions. And no, I have not seen that film, why would you dare accuse me of such? Now a second reason to why this caught on is that the lyrics appear to double as both a “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”-style takedown of the villainous Gru character and also, a Drake diss track, with Pharrell singing about allegations coming to light and his private life being much seedier than his public image. Now, I was originally sceptical of this, but then I realised thanks to the bridge that the main gimmick of Gru is that, yes, he’s a villain in control of an army of minions, but he’s also a loving father to his daughters… ouch, imagine being out-fathered by Illumination Entertainment characters. This guy isn’t on the level of Disney-Pixar, we know that because Kendrick is doing their soundtracks, but I at least thought that Drake was DreamWorks-level. What makes the diss even more evident is that, well, the narrative doesn’t make entirely too much sense for Gru, who is pretty known to even his daughters as despicable, right? Maybe I’m misremembering or more is revealed in this new song, but Gru’s antagonism is well-known, right? Regardless, whilst this isn’t exactly on the level of the best his Black Yacht Rock album had to offer, it has a lot in common with it, specifically the twinkly production, Pharrell’s penchant for sound effects and goofy delivery of lyrics that sound terrible on first listen but end up growing on you in a unqiuely Beck-ish way, all coated in a self-produced, self-written bedroom mix. This time, he blends it with a programmed funk rock guitar, because well, Goddamn, N.E.R.D. is practically defunct so why not? The cinematic elements like the horns and choral vocals are clearly programmed so it struggles to succeed on the front of being a convincing soundtrack hit, but that cheapness just makes it fit even better with the loveably lame, idly-gazing guitar-pop he put out earlier this year. It may not be fantastic, it’s still a very well-executed Pharrell song, with the added Gru-Drake comparison just sprinkling some fun on top.

#60 - “Black Friday (pretty like the sun)” -  Lost Frequencies and Tom Odell

Produced by Tom Odell, Cityfall and Lost Frequencies

A remix of a chart hit a few years after, usually a decade or so after, is very common. A remix of a chart hit being popular simultaneously with the original is also very common. A remix of a chart hit arising as a sleeper hit just a few months after the already middling-level hit was past its course. I did really like Odell’s comeback hit “Black Friday”, which peaked at #21 in late 2023 when Doja Cat’s “Paint the Town Red” was #1, and possibly the last thing that would come to my mind when listening is “boy, this needs a tropical house remix”. Alas, I’m not the rich and famous DJ, so here we are. “Black Friday” has soured on me a tad since release but it’s still great, thanks in part due to its sweet, acoustic slow burn and the looming guilt Odell feels for doubting the strength of his relationship based mostly on his lack of confidence in his self-image, all leading up to a dramatic swell that defines the song. I’m sure you can undrstand my worry when I see a remix by Belgian DJ Lost Frequencies that’s not even two and a half minutes. How exactly does he retain or transform the meaning of the song whilst switching its genre in that short time?

Well, I don’t want to say it’s genius or anything, but the way he recontextualised the track is sneaky and clever. He turns Odell desperately aiming for escapism that can make him forget his inadequacies - “I wanna go party, I wanna have fun / I wanna be happy, could you show me how it’s done?” - into an out-of-context dance chorus, using Odell’s wispiest take, drenching it in reverb and placing it over a subtle house beat with a lot of clicky echoed details I enjoy, especially the shaking and barely audible percs that complicate the production enough to retain the uncertainty of the original, especially with the self-loathing of the first verse remaining untouched. Mr. Frequencies goes for a very typical vocaloid drop but does so by manipulating Odell’s vocal into the most wholesome pleas for friendship possible, and in the outro, he renders his belting to chipmunk pitch in what I think is an inspired decision. “(pretty like the sun)” strips the gut from “Black Friday”, refuses to go for a real bombastic EDM drop to cover Odell’s insecurities, retaining the acoustic guitar sound and lets the new concoction just float around, as if this version is what everyone else sees. A silly little remix almost completes the song’s narrative, giving an outside perspective that warrants Odell’s refrain that it’s just all in his head (which is naturally removed here). It would be very funny if this new version had a similar chart run, but honestly I just like the two as counterparts to each other. I’m not really big on Lost Frequencies in general but this remix works.

#35 - “Big Dawgs” - Hanumankind and Kalmi

Produced by Kalmi

Florida rapper Denzel Curry released an album recently that I did not like nearly as much as others. It was a love letter to the South, especially Houston and Memphis sounds, that whilst well-executed, felt lacking in the unique stylings I get from ‘Zel on any other project, with it being suffocated by guest features and production that should have been way more interesting than it was, with those guests being practically hit-and-miss. So this Indian guy motorcycles in (quite literally, watch the video) doing a Project Pat impression and has a worldwide smash hit alongside his producer Kalmi and somehow, I end up liking it a lot more. Hanumankind has been active for a while making primarily English-language alternative hip hop in the same lane as, say, an IDK, where it’s not mainstream, it’s not lyrical-miracle, but it’s a place in between. It’s Spotify-algorithm pop rap, where you’ll see very unique, accessible yet experimental, rappers and their crews include more conscious lyrics, weirder percussion choices, more soulful melodies and much more competent flows, but ultimately still a chintzy pop sheen, trap beats, R&B samples, the rest. I don’t want to dismiss any of these guys, because they do all have unique come-ups and origins - evidently, this guy’s from Kerala - but they do end up falling in a similar boat, that I’m very familiar with (honestly, might have been my specialty for a while there) and I don’t know any other way to sum it up than saying it probably started with Chance the Rapper.

On the harder end of this spectrum, as his singles got increasingly tougher and more indebted to the Dirty South, is Hanumankind. The motorcycle revving sound acts as the lead noise for the beat, giving Kalmi some industrial grit to lay down the very typical but almost undeniable Memphis beat, and there are definitely enough shifts in the beat to prevent this from being tedious throughout. Hanumankind himself does not have much in the way of lyrical content, especially not anything too interesting, but his flexes come through in his flow switches, incredibly nasal delivery that comes off as him being an endearing pest, especially since this is a glorified freestyle, with no real hook. The back-and-forth bridge is listed as a chorus but it doesn’t reoccur, and we end up getting a slowed-down refrain a lá DJ Screw, to really amalgamate the reference points on display here, if the UGK references weren’t good enough. I do like the focus on coping with pain and proving systemic issues wrong through success, as it tempers the obnoxious cadence and bragging in a likeable way… and honestly, I think I need to start listening to this guy’s EPs because this is fully in my lane. I really hope this guy gets some big-name cosigns and can take off with his signature mixture of southern styles. I’m very much here for Indian Memphis rap to be a thing, especially if we get to hear more artists from that region as a result of this guy’s virality. Oh, and I know Big K.R.I.T. is mostly on an R&B kick right now, but get him and Anycia on the remix and it’d be torn to shreds. Love this.

#1 - “Guess” - Charli xcx featuring Billie Eilish

Produced by The Dare and FINNEAS

It’s fine. For such a monumental-feeling #1 - the #2 was not even close - I don’t have much to say about this at all. Thanks to no involvement from A.G. Cook, EASYFUN or the rest of the more interesting contributors to BRAT, the production feels pretty rote and lacking the unique bite and vibe of the album’s standard edition, with “Guess” being tacked on as a deluxe track that I find pretty underwhelming. The least successful of the three bonuses, “Hello goodbye”, is the only one I care for as this and “Spring breakers” just sound like unfinished demos with their purpose already fulfilled by other tracks. There’s some charm to the very forward and explicit sexuality of this one, though not as much with all the grimy synth fuzz. Dylan Brady was involved in writing it, which may explain some of the distortion or the undercooked meme lyrics referencing Charli’s underwear, record deals, leaked song and a “lower-back tattoo” she got that literally says “lower back tattoo” in the BRAT font, and she calls it “brand new” in part because it is literally her brand new branding being branded onto her. This feels like a pastiche of the BRAT phenomenon in not a particularly interesting or nuanced way - the album already has bangers, it already has songs that comment more bitingly about celebrity culture, and Billie Eilish’s lesbian whispering somehow does nothing for me on the remix, which doesn’t really turn it into much else thematically or sonically. This is the first new #1 hit on the UK charts by a UK artist this year, and whilst I do have doubts about its longevity, it will most likely stick around despite it being probably the least interesting song from this entire rollout. Sorry, not really feeling this one.

Conclusion

It feels like cheating, almost, to put Hanumankind or Pharrell at Best of the Week because one’s sound and one’s artist are obviously going to appeal to me specifically and very easily, and really, the same can be said about the “Black Friday” remix since it uses a song I already really enjoy. As convincing as a three-way tie would be, I think Hanumankind and Kalmi have me the most excited for more, so “Big Dawgs” grabs Best of the Week with Pharrell Williams’ “Double Life” and “Black Friday (pretty like the sun)” by Lost Frequencies and Tom Odell tying for the Honourable Mention. As for the worst, obviously, CYRIL takes Worst of the Week for “Stumblin’ In” whilst I don’t feel like anything here is worthy of a Dishonourable Mention. In regards to what’s on the horizon, I suppose beabadoobee or Katy Perry, or even Chase & Status, could debut, but I’d actually keep an eye more on Asake, the new Clean Bandit-David Guetta-Anne-Marie collab and even Shawn Mendes, for entries next week. My prediction skills with this chart are about as competent as a blind weatherman so don’t quote me on any of that. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Maurice Williams, and I’ll see you next week!

[pipermca]

I am accepting @altraviolet's challenge (from the post here) for the fic writer questionnaire. This looks like fun! *cracks knuckles*

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

90

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,042 (holy shit)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mostly write for Transformers these days. I do have a little short story cooking for Centaurworld; maybe I'll get that jotted down some day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I can definitely see how writing for a popular ship will skew your stats on your fics, and smut gives bonus points. 😅

Frag the Police. Jazz/Prowl, NSFW

Claim Rejected. MegOP, SFW

Peer Review. Starscream/Wheeljack, NSFW

Anamnesis. Jazz/Prowl, SFWish (has plug-n-play interfacing)

Public Indecency. Jazz/Prowl, NSFW

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love comments and I want to pass on that appreciation. 💗

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Even my darker stories usually have a bit of light in the end, since I am a sucker for happy (if possibly bittersweet) endings. But the story Atrocity (please mind the tags on that one) leaves Bluestreak in a bad place at the end, and nothing is really resolved.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have lots of fics with really happy endings! But in terms of having no hanging ends, I think The Renegade and the Hound might be the happiest. 🤗 The last chapter of that fic is all warm fuzzies for the characters.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet. 😄 I've gotten some vaguely critical comments sometimes but I wouldn't call that hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ooooh yeah. I write it all. I'll even write the weird stuff there's no terms for. Give me that weird-ass smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to write fusions rather than traditional crossovers, but the weirdest one was very recent: The Spark and the Lightning, which is the War for Cybertron game crossed/fused with Dune.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! The fic Becoming has been translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? A friend and I tossed little bits of a story back and forth several years ago, each of us building on what the other had just written. I have the bits all collected, but I'm not sure if it'll ever see the light of day.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Bluestreak/Hound. 💗

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It's in the Alt Modes and Alchemy AU. Basically it's the events of the climax of The Renegade and the Hound and a period immedately afterwards, but from Perceptor's POV. It's written as a half diary/half academic paper. The title is:

On the Restoration of Cybertron: An Analysis and Personal Account, or A Treatise on the Effects of the Destruction of the Matrix of Leadership on Cybertron and its Inhabitants from an Alchemical Perspective, and a Personal Account of said Event as Recalled by Perceptor of Iacon, Head Alchemist of Optimus Prime.

It's hella fun, and I'd love to finish it, but it keeps moving out of my "currently working on" stack into the "shelved" stack. :/

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at worldbuilding and writing those juicy emotional scenes.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing stuff. 😅 But seriously, I have a tendency to go back and rework stuff I've written (but not yet posted) instead of working forward on getting more words down. I love editing too much I think. >.<

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fine? It should be clear to the reader what the dialogue says without them having to Google Translate it. Anything that stops a reader and takes them out of the flow of the story is a Bad Thing imo.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hahaha! I think the first actual fanfic I wrote was in the Time Quintet series (specifically after reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet) by Madeleine L'Engle. I think I was about 8 or 9.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm. My favourite long fic is Mind, Body, and Soul (which was long and self-indulgent and I said everything I wanted to say about the Big Themes of the story). My favourite short fic is probably Datastream, mostly because I dipped into Cybertronian brains and weird sci-fi elements, mixed with formatting to help tell the story. :)

That was fun! Consider yourself tagged if you want to play along.

[ticholasnesla]

Nimona (2023), friends.

First of all thank u to the people who made these great gifs!!! This is presumptuous of me but i truly hope u dont mind me featuring them! This is the first of - hopefully many - years of my Media Gifventure for the Holiday Season of 2023. I will go into more details if i need. So.

🥺

man of the hour. Man of the Year. Gold Star. 🌟

Gif use Disclaimer, I hope me making this post with these gifs isnt overstepping 🙂‍↕️💛 people who upload gifs, which, 9/10 times, they made themselves, are one of the most supportive vertebrae communities of Tumblr. 🫡👏👏 bravo chudovyy splendid чудовий mykola please tell me what i should remove and i will remove.

Above all else, Thank u.

anyways here's3 something i hope is going to be fun. Last chance. Gif heavy, flash warning excessive emojis, stupid shite and a dog.

🐕 . . . 🤎

nimona beat my ass yall. It beat my family's ass yall.

That's a Ss²+Gold ranked film if ever i saw one. Congrats Neæs@tflix - Nimona, and congrats ND Stevenson.

Ss²+Gold means Soupsoup Squared PLUS Gold which MEANS

+4 of thees bad boys!!!!!!!!

Enjoy!

i stop talking about strictly Nimona Heere.

so with that all said and done...i was Thinking... part 2?

disclaimer pls read the 👎 RULES. Trans rights human rights. Protect trans kids. Pronouns for your Hostess this evening are she/he/they. this isnt a nft thing so dont talk to me about that. and im not writing free reviews or reading your book. I just wanna award movies and webtoons and webcomics without putting any real artistic effort in (except when i WANT to put real artistic effort in) and also feature some great indie/non indie stuff In a (hopefully) positive light 🔮 shit i might even do requests. Or sketches. Imagine. 🐙

PROCEED 👎to RULES and engage in critical thought and problem soliving before sending me asks.💢

That being said, keep it PG. All asks are good asks and i will develop an FAQ if need be!

Rules 👎 down dere keep scrolling and reading. Thx. But first

Do u wanna submit something to be considered for a Soup GoldTM? Submit your favourite,

Webcomic

Youtube channel

Trending topic

Webtoon

youtube series

Manga

Anime

Plot twists

Lesser known artists

Indie artists

Podcasts

Heartbreaks /no actual bummers pls.

Memes etc etceteree

that kept you warm this 2023! And for my immediate needs, Happened in 2023. For this thing, i will only accept submissions til new yrs day. Is that peechy?

👎👎Ok finally rules for real. Proceed to pig 🐷 for tldr

Keep it pg🦉

K.I.S.S - keep it simple, Saoirse🦆

Stay in your Lane 🫎🦍🐏🪿

Dont message strangers on the internet if you're under 18.🔴And if you do KEEP your age out of their inbox. 🪺🐣🐊

Adult media is fine but i want to keep it Prime Time 🦐🐚 🪸🪼🐠🚦🐬

66I know i might be typing like a fucking bunyak but i wanna have FUN and talk about FUN STUFF my past 3 years has been ROUGH, BAYBEE. I miss my parents, Tails. I miss them a lot. /not a joke.

💐🦋🕊🐝🦂🦈🐄🐓🦤🦀🦀🦅🪱🥀🦽🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🫀🌎☀️🌜🪐🌬🌪🌦🌈☔️🔥☃️🎅🏡🎆🪻🌷💐🫀🐦‍⬛🚜👨‍🌾💚🤟💒💊🌋🏞🎡🛝🚛🚚🛻🚲

I am but flesh n blood n bone.

Please keep in mind i will only do what i have the jnj marbles for, but i will dedicate a lot of my downtime to this and i really want to have a good experience so um if u know a friend, or maybe want to tag cool accounts to maybe look over here yoo hoo hi there hello and do u wannaaa 🐕🐕🐕

Click that rebwog pwease 🥺 pppwease. Ding that like button smash that like button Uw0

This only works on Good Will so dont Play with my heart. We want to have fun.

I do have a DO NOT PASS GO list in my head but i wont reveal whats on it til i come across it ya? 🦩

Thank y for reading the rules. Now.

Me vs you the reader

Proceed to pig for tldr🐷

The Soup Golds and other Soups utilize a vector of Grandma's Soup from Lengend of Zelda Wind Waker that i edited with my phone. I do not claim to own this graphic and am just fucking around.

Submissions that dont pass my sneefing test are welcome and valuable! Incoming bee gif:

🐝

love rubbin my dusty little fingers in new Things and readings. So they will be rewarded either with Unseen, Uninterested, or Unwatchable badges, and might be featured as (dis)/honorable mentions! More nuance on that if the need arises. 🦄🔮👀

🐷Asks are open / pending! Feel free to Lurk/ask questions. Dont be rude or ELSE..u get The PIG 🐷🐷

✋️HYYYYYY

🤘🪑YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🐖🐖🐖🐖💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💥⚰️🪦🐽🍄

.. and then the Anon is going off. i dont want to have to do that. 🫠

🐗Let's keep it Frosty🐗

🐖💨💨💨💨Inbox closes Boxing Day! Get ur submissions in Today and get some fun ?

Write a letter and leave me a cookie pls. Im not asking for money i just wanna spend some quality time with u as we ____ 2024.

Here is the dog btw and she's a rottweiler mix.. She's sitting on my foots here and has curly furs all a on her butt. She was a foster fail and is living her best cushy life last i heard about her. I wanna see her again. 🖤🤎🧡🖤🤎🧡

The end. Play Sims 4 but try not to spend money on it. EA's starting to offer free packs that u can download for Free. Console and PC as far as i understand.

Love u. Be back soon.

[swiftie-erin]

Here's my first-listen review of TTPD and TTPD: The Anthology!

disclaimer: i broke down the rankings per album because trying to do them all together would've been a hell of a journey and would've taken more than one day / been more than just a "first listen." and per usual, take the songs at the bottom with a grain of salt because all of them are so close and even the ones at the bottom feel like they should be in the top ten

Overall review: wow, this was a lot to process. I keep trying to think about whether I like TTPD or TTPD: The Anthology better, but honestly I can't choose. so much heart-wrenching pain, such beautiful lyrics, and incredible reflections on love, loss, inner turmoil, what-ifs, and using writing as an outlet. this is absolutely going to be on repeat through spring and summer!

1. Fortnight - lowkey would've loved more Post Malone on this song but this is one of my faves!!

2. TTPD - I love the storytelling and I love the way Taylor says "TTPD" and "nofuckingbody" hehe

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - the imagery?? "queen of sand castles he destroys"??? omg this is one of my faves.

4. Down Bad - Love this song sonically and love hearing Taylor say fuck LOL. this is my fave song i think!

5. So Long, London - 🥺🥺 "i'm pissed off that you let me give you all that youth for free" gives me goosebumps, i love this song

6. But Daddy I Love Him - tbh good for you taylor, get em. your life is your own and only you get to tell yourself what you can or can't do, or who you can or can't love!

7. Fresh Out the Slammer - the lyrics are so good and the bridge transition is so beautiful!!!

8. Florida!!! - same bbg, we all need a dose of escapism once in a while (also i love the 🍃 mention hehe). fuck me up florida!!!

9. Guilty as Sin? - this is the song I pre-claimed and tbh it does not disappoint at all!

10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? - the guitar, so good omg. the emotion in taylor's voice is raw and the female rage is palpable, love this song.

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - love the ending and love the chorus!!

12. loml - ouchie. the lyricism and that last chorus, wow.

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - we love a good depressive pop song!! "all of the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting 'more!'" and the click track!!

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - men ain't shit, taylor. what'd he do? I'll deliver your message LET ME AT EM-

15. The Alchemy - i'm so glad taylor is in a better place 🥹 it truly gives "karma is the guy on the chiefs coming straight home to me"

16. Clara Bow - such a beautiful song sonically, shows both the hope and hardships of wanting to be in the spotlight

17. The Black Dog - the second verse, OUCHIE. the bridge? i've died. i love this song more than i expected to.

18. imgonnagetyouback - i love the chorus and actually the entire song tbh

19. The Albatross - i'm very intrigued with the tale we're being told. people truly will read something about you, believe it, then crucify you for it.

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - such a beautiful, sad song. what-ifs (especially for people like taylor and i who have anxiety) can be so, so much more heart-wrenching than knowing

21. How Did It End? - the lyrics. the sound. everything unspoken. how everyone wants to know what happened but she's not even sure herself.

22. So High School - so goddamn cute!!! i couldn't be happier that taylor is happy and thriving with trav 🥹🫶

23. I Hate It Here - "when they found a better planet, only the gentle survived" BESTIE i wish. i'm there right with you, girl. the world is awful and living in your mind often is easier and better. also, i too read the secret garden as a child hehe

24. thanK you alMee - omg, this song. taylor is truly coming to terms with what gave her scars and acknowledging it and moving forward. i'm so fuckin proud of her.

25. I Look In People's Windows - "i'm afflicted by the not knowing" ugh me too girlie. the anxiety, the contemplation, the fantasies; i'm glad neither of us are alone in knowing these feelings all too well

26. The Prophecy - i love this song 🥺 it's one of my faves. it reminds me of Foolish One, it's so desperate and hopeful at the same time.

27. Cassandra - i'm a greek/roman history slut so i love this already. i love the intertwined story that she creates, it's powerful.

28. Peter - bruh this song makes me want to cry. Betty has turned off her porch light 🥺

29. The Bolter - I love the way this song sounds! the first chorus sets the stage so well and the chorus is lowkey catchy

30. Robin - precious lyrics about keeping children innocent so they can enjoy their childhood while they have it 💗

31. The Manuscript - as a poet and writer myself, i relate to this song so much. writing truly is an outlet for processing emotions and at the end of it, all of those feelings are part of the writing and no longer yours. you're free.