#actually maybe she was just sick of men by that point which would be so fair

[deakyjoe]

I Got Chills, They’re Multiplying

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x Reader (fem, she/her)

Category: sick fic, fluff

Summary: Despite being stubbornly independent, Bob won’t let you push him away in your time of need.

Warnings: sickness, sexual references and innuendos, implication of Bob having a “lieutenant” kink, just fluff mostly, reader is used to pushing people away, they’re like hella in love but won’t say it

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: Wrote this exhausted because I haven’t been able to sleep these past few days due to being sick. Enjoy!

Consider buying me a coffee :)

You stared at the last text message Bob had sent you.

Okay, get well soon!

It was unclear whether the constant pounding in your head was what was making you feel sick or if it was how quickly the text conversation had ended with your boyfriend. Well, kind-of boyfriend. You'd been on a lot of dates over the last few months but hadn't actually made it official yet.

It's not like you expected anything from him, you were used to men being pretty dismissive, and his message was actually very friendly, especially with the exclamation point at the end, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of something at him just ending the conversation like that.

To be fair to him, you had told him that you were fine, just had a cold or a minor case of the flu. It was a little worse than that but you weren't used to telling people your problems, used to keeping them bottled up inside. So you guess you couldn't really blame him for taking your word for granted and assuming that, as you'd said, you were fine. And maybe he was busy.

You sighed and tossed your phone aside, burying your face in one of the many blankets you'd dragged to your couch in an attempt to feel slightly warmer. You were being ridiculous, this is exactly what you wanted. And what you expected. At least you had peace and quiet for the day whilst you recovered.

Drifting off into a dreamless sleep came naturally with the state your body was in and you were thankful for it, hoping that the headache that had been plaguing you since you first woke up that morning would be gone by the time you woke up again.

It wasn't.

In fact, it only got worse when the rhythmic throbbing in your skull matched the timing of the person knocking on your front door. You groaned quietly to yourself and dragged yourself up off the couch, wrapping a blanket tight around your shoulders and padding to the door with only one sock on. You figured the other one must have fallen off during your nap.

You didn't even bother looking through the peephole to see who was bothering you, hoping to just snap at them to go away once you'd managed to unlock the door.

That plan was foiled when you were greeted by your favourite pair of baby blue eyes behind wire framed glasses. You immediately softened at the sight of your kind-of boyfriend.

"Oh, hi." You croaked, immediately feeling sheepish that you were about to shout at him without even thinking about the consequences.

Bob frowned at you, giving you a quick once over. "You're sick."

"Yes, I told you that." You chuckled, coughing into your elbow as soon as the words had left your mouth.

"Sicker than you let on." He clarified.

You shrugged, not knowing what to say. He was right. But that's just who you were. Keep everything to yourself, was your motto.

So you just asked him a question instead. "Why are you here? I said I was fine."

Bob smiled at that. "I think your exact words were 'yeah, I'm good' which I knew was a lie."

"Oh." That surprised you.

He went further. "You only say you're good when something's wrong."

God, were you that easy to read?

"So, I thought I'd come check on you." He stiffened suddenly. "I hope that's okay."

You didn't think it possible but somehow you softened more under his worried gaze. "Yes, that's very okay. Do you want to come in?"

You opened the door wider for him, stepping aside and grinning when he hurried in and kicked off his shoes. It was then that you noticed what he was wearing. Blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He looked good. Very good. If you didn't feel like you were dying then you'd definitely be jumping his bones right about now. You still kind of wanted to. You pushed the thought aside.

"Didn't realise how hot it is outside. I'm freezing." You mumbled, shuffling back towards your couch. "Do you want a drink?"

"No, thanks. But if I did then I'd make it myself. I'm here to look after you." He placed a hand on the small of your back to guide you in the direction of the blanket pile you'd previously made, smirking at the sight of it.

You shifted away from him. "You don't have to touch me. I'm sick and disgusting right now."

He huffed. "You're beautiful and lovely like always."

"Liar." You grumbled, pushing back into his hand nevertheless.

"No, just smitten and honest." He confessed, sitting you down on the couch and wrapping you in the millions of blankets. "Have you eaten today?"

You shook your head no. You didn't feel up to cooking.

"Want me to make you something?" He stood in front of you with his hands on his hips.

"No." You sighed. "It's okay."

"Yeah, I'm making you something."

You huffed. "You really don't have to-"

"I want to." He cut you off. “I don’t want you to think you can’t ask me for things. You know I care about you, right?”

You nodded slowly. “I know, I’m just used to doing stuff for myself.”

Bob smiled gently. “I know that. But now you don’t have to. I’m here for you. To help. Or whatever you need.”

You were about to respond with a fond thank you when you were interrupted by his cellphone chiming in his pocket.

“Sorry.” He grunted, pulling the device from the front of his jeans.

“It’s okay.” You coughed, curious as to why he was suddenly frowning. “Who is it?”

"Had plans with the team tonight. Was supposed to meet them for drinks." He mumbled, typing away on his phone.

"Oh, god." You rubbed your hand across your face. "Please go. You don't have to stay here. Don't let them down."

Bob suddenly looked up from his screen and gave you an amused smile. "I'm sure they'll understand that I'm looking after my sick girlfriend."

He said it so casually, as if he’d been doing it regularly. Your heart rate picked up at that. Girlfriend. His girlfriend. Bob Floyd's girlfriend. You could've squealed with glee. You stayed silent and settled for a pleased grin.

He sighed to himself once he’d replied to his team and placed his cell down on your coffee table. “Where were we? Oh! Right. Me cooking for you.”

“Like I said, you don’t need to do that.” You pulled your feet up onto the couch after a particularly violent shiver ran through you. “I’m perfectly fine.”

Bob reached out and pressed the back of his hand onto your forehead. “You have a fever. And you’re still shaking like we’re in Antarctica.”

“It’s just my immune system fighting back.” You hummed, leaning into his touch as he moved his hand down to cup your cheek.

“Exactly. And I’m sure some warm soup will just help your immune system out.” He crouched down in front of you, taking the other side of your face in his other hand. “Please let me take care of you.”

The words were so softly spoken, so tender, that you almost started crying. No one had ever sounded so sincere before, especially when it came to your well-being. If you weren’t so scared of infecting him, you would’ve leaned forward to kiss him.

So you could only reply quietly, with the smallest of nods. “Okay.”

His face burst into a dazzling smile, the kind that made you never want to stop looking at him. “Okay. You rest some more and I’ll go make that for you.”

You smiled weakly back at him, suddenly remembering something. “I don’t think I have any soup.”

Bob didn’t falter. “That’s alright. I’ll figure something out.”

You thought that maybe you were a little bit in love with him.

“Help yourself to anything.” It didn’t need to be said, he knew your kitchen pretty well at this point and you always made it clear that he was free to eat or use anything in it when he was over at your place.

He nodded, pressed a kiss to your forehead and stood up. “Try to sleep a little. This might take a while.”

You snorted, regretting it immediately as it made your throat feel all scratchy. “Yes, Lieutenant.”

Bob paused for a second, halfway to taking a step towards the kitchen, and looked back at you. “Lieutenant?”

You nodded, mouth twitching at the corners.

He seemed to think on it for a second. “Hm, we’ll come back to that.”

You giggled quietly into your blanket and settled back onto the couch, closing your eyes and thinking of Bob Floyd. Your boyfriend. Your extremely caring boyfriend. Who was in your kitchen making you soup! When did you suddenly get so lucky? The musings drifted away with you as you slipped into unconsciousness.

Some time passed before you were awoken again by Bob stroking the side of your face and softly uttering your name.

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, slightly confused as your head cleared. “What’s going on?”

“Soup.” He replied simply, picking up your legs and sitting down before placing them across his lap. He leaned forward to grab the bowl and spoon on your coffee table and then turned to face you.

“You gonna feed me?” You teased.

Bob smiled. “I would if you wanted me to but I’m sure you’d rather I throw this soup in your face than do that.”

He was right.

“Hm, when did you get to know me so well?” You asked, half joking as you took the bowl and spoon from him. The soup was a rich green colour. What he’d found to put in it, you had no idea. “Always thought I was closed off.”

“You are.” He shrugged. “But I pay attention.”

Your eyes shot up to meet his again. He was just looking at you with a slight smile, hands smoothing up and down the lengths of your clothed legs.

You were definitely a little bit in love with him.

You defaulted to a joke. "Remind me when I'm feeling better that you're gonna get it sooo good."

Bob snorted. "I think the fever is making you delirious."

"I'm just frustrated because you, somehow, look hotter than usual and I'm too sick to do anything about it." You gestured vaguely to his outfit, using the spoon to point.

“I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt.”

“Hot.” You insisted.

"Okay, I'll remind you." He rolled his eyes. “Now eat your soup.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” You mumbled, dipping the spoon into the thick liquid.

He huffed out a laugh.

You weren’t surprised in the least that the soup was delicious. You were starting to believe that Bob might actually be the perfect man, some sort of miracle sent to Earth to apologise for all the wrongdoing in the world. How he’d managed to concoct a good soup out of the limited ingredients in your kitchen was beyond you. And yet, he’d done it.

“What the hell did you put in this?” You asked, frowning at him mock suspiciously. If you didn’t know him better you’d think he’d ordered it to your place while you were asleep. But Bob Floyd wasn’t that kind of guy.

“Some stuff I found laying around.” He shrugged modestly. “Didn’t follow a recipe or anything.”

You scoffed. “You’re something else.”

He just shrugged again, a pleased smile playing on the corners of his lips, and watched you practically inhale the rest of the dish. He was very glad you’d eaten it.

“How you feeling now?”

“Better.” You admitted. “But I don’t know if it’s because of the soup or because you’re here.”

Bob’s heart thudded against his rib cage at that confession. “Just happy to help.”

You hummed and stared at him fondly.

He had trouble getting his next question out, distracted by the way you were looking at him. “Do- do you- do you want to go back to sleep?”

You hesitated before answering him, mulling an idea over in your mind. “There is something I want.”

“Oh, yeah? What is it?” He was willing to do anything for you.

“Don’t want you to get sick.” You sighed.

He smiled. “I think we left that concern behind when I first got here.”

Your eyes widened. “No! Don’t make me feel guilty.”

“I’m not trying to.” Bob assured you. “But I doubt whatever you want is going to have a higher risk of getting me sick than me just sitting here next to you.”

You grumbled something underneath your breath to yourself.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind getting sick off of you.”

Maybe you were a lot in love with him.

So you let it burst out of you. “Wanna cuddle.”

Bob didn’t even respond to you, just scooped you up into his arms and maneuvered the two of you into the position he knew you liked - him on his back with you half on top of him and half next to him, one leg and one arm slung around him, your face buried his chest and head tucked under his chin, one of his hands moving to stroke up and down your arm, trace patterns across your back and comb through your hair.

He knew you so well.

You nuzzled your face against his t-shirt. “Thank you.”

He inhaled deeply. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“I want to. You didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Making you soup is nothing. It’s not like I’m giving you a kidney.” He paused. “Although I’d probably do that too.”

You chuckled against his chest. “What I mean is, most guys would’ve accepted my ‘I’m good’ text and carried on with their day. You didn’t.”

“Because I knew you were lying.” He reminded you.

“That’s my point. No one has ever known I was lying before.” You tilted your head up to look at him. “I’m glad you knew.”

“Me too.”

Bob wanted to kiss you but knew you’d kill him if he tried. So he settled for the smile he gave you that always made you look away nervously. Which you did, as predicted, and then swiftly fell asleep against him. He wondered how’d he’d gotten so lucky. Sure, he was caring for a sick person but it was the happiest he’d been in a long time. Which should sound ridiculous but to him it made more sense than anything.

He was knocked out of his thoughts when you whined lowly in your sleep and held onto him tighter. He smiled down at you and held you closer to his chest.

Bob knew then that he was a lot in love with you.

A/N: And we’re back!

[daredevils-stuffed]

One Shot - Help a Girl Out

Matt is sick of hearing how you’ve been unable to cum. From men and on your own. So, he takes it into his own hands.

Relationship: Matt Murdock x Reader

Tags: boss/ employee vibes kinda not really. There is an actual like story, not just smut. But, Smut. A little kinky if you squint. He counts your orgasms. Office sex.

•••

Authors note: Happy Daredevil: Born Again Eve to those who celebrate. Very excited for tomorrow.

•••

The first time Matt hears of your issues. It’s early on a Monday morning.

Matt first learned about your issue on his way into the office.

He doesn’t mean to listen—doesn’t want to listen—but the moment your voice filters through the air, he can’t stop himself.

You’re perched on the edge of Karen’s desk, your morning coffee barely making a dent in your exhaustion. It had been a long night, and Karen needs to hear all about it to make yourself feel better.

“So,” you sigh dramatically, “I don’t think he was confident enough to use anything other than his hands. It was like I was his guinea pig. Just kinda laying there pretending to moan, pretending to feel something.”

Karen pouts back at you, understanding your predicament like most women would. “Oof, that is bad. At what point did you call it?”

“When he kept trying to make eye contact with me…from down there, it gave off weird vibes. So, I just patted him on his head and got up.”

“You did not!”

You groan up at the ceiling, covering your face with your hands. “It gets worse…after he left, I tried to help myself -yah know. And nothing.”

“I think you might be cursed.” Karen has already given you all the advice she could. What helped for her, what didn’t, even which brands of lube that might help. But nothing. Literally nothing has helped.

“Yeah, no shit! I’m convinced I’ll never know how it feels to have my own mind blowing, out of this world, orga- “

You stop dead.

The weight of your stare pressing against him even though he can’t see it. He clears his throat, adjusting his glasses as he enters the room.

You quickly shoot a look to Karen who just smirks.

“Morning Matt” you both chime, dripping with innocence.

He grumbles a response not really stopping to interact with you. His mind running a mile a minute. Have you never had an orgasm? Maybe I could help?

Matt doesn’t know why that gets under his skin as much as it does. But it does.

He drops into his chair, flexing his hands at his sides. Your voice is still there, looping in his head, and it shouldn’t be this distracting.

I’m convinced I’ll never know how it feels…mind-blowing, out-of-this-world…

Christ.

He doesn’t need this. He’s had a hell of a week already—barely any sleep, too many cases piling up, and now? Now he’s going to spend the rest of the day haunted by the mental image of you—spread out, breathless, wanting.

Matt knew the dynamic between you went beyond friendly colleagues. There had always been something there, an unspoken tension simmering beneath every playful jab, every stolen glance. But he had never taken it seriously.

That changes now.

He moves before he can stop himself, heading to the office kitchen. Two cups of coffee—one for him, one for you. It’s a rare gesture, but he knows you’ll appreciate it.

“For you.” He grunts shoving a mug towards you. Your fingers brush his as you take it. Matt lingers for a moment longer than necessary. His eyes boring into yours intensely. The telepathic message he’s sending not quite reaching you.

Just when you think he is going to say something his lips smack closed and he’s walking away.

The words I can help lost in his throat. Matt scowls at himself for chickening out. He couldn’t embarrass you like that. It really is none of his business.

All you notice however, is how his fingers are flexing at his side, as if your quick brush has stung him. The gesture of coffee confuses you, but you’re too distracted by his hands. You picture what they can do for you, take you to an edge you’ve never experienced before.

“Well, I don’t get coffee like that” Karen snides from her side of the room. You flush and hide behind your stack of papers. You take a sip and hum. It’s just how you like it, Matt always knows how you like things.

Matt spends the rest of the morning trying—and failing—to focus.

The sound of the office hums around him, phones ringing, papers shuffling, the steady rhythm of keyboards clacking. But all he can hear is you. Your voice, looping in his head, the way you sighed when you talked about last night, the frustration laced in every word.

I’m convinced I’ll never know how it feels…

His fingers twitch against the edge of his desk. He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t want to care.

But he does.

And that’s the problem.

By the time lunch rolls around, he needs space. Needs air. Needs to clear his head before he does something stupid.

Because the last thing he wants is to come off as some arrogant asshole who thinks he has all the answers. The last thing he wants is for you to think he’s just like every other guy who assumes he knows what you need.

Even if, deep down, he’s pretty damn sure he does.

The thought twists in his gut as he heads back to the office, rehearsing ways to make a move that don’t end with him humiliating himself—or worse, pushing you away.

But the moment he steps inside, ready to test the waters, Foggy’s voice cuts through the air.

“…I know he knows what he’s doing.”

Matt stops. Freezes mid-step on the stairs.

He’s on about a blind date.

Someone else.

Someone else touching you. Someone else making you laugh, making you moan. Someone else failing you.

Whilst Matt was out Foggy took the opportunity to swoop in, grinning as he flops into the chair across from you. Getting you to spill all the details from last night.

You skim over the basics—the guy took you to a nice restaurant, knew how to flirt, wasn’t exactly your usual type but still tried. Foggy questioned if you managed to get off, which shocked you. You knew you hadn’t told him, which means Karen must have.

The snap of Matt’s jaw tightening echoes in his ears.

He doesn’t remember moving, doesn’t register the way his fingers crush the takeout bag in his grip, barely even feels the splintering pressure of his cane beneath his palm.

All he knows is that when he speaks, his voice is sharp enough to slice through the air.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, can you please leave our paralegal alone to get on with her work?”

Silence.

He’s standing in the doorway now, Foggy blinking at him in surprise, you stare at him like you’re trying to read him. Like you can feel the heat radiating off of him from across the room.

Matt clenches his jaw, forces himself to move, to breathe. Forces himself to walk away before he does something reckless.

It’s not my problem. It’s none of my damn business.

But the thought of anyone else fixing this for you—that is what has his stomach twisting. That is what has his grip tightening around his cane until he’s sure the wood is about to crack.

I know what I’m doing.

Your pulse, however, is unsteady as you turn back to your desk, your mind is spinning.

Matt never snaps like that—not over you.

And yet, the frustration in his voice, the heat behind it, the way he stormed off like Foggy had just personally offended him—

You swallow hard.

No. No, you must be imagining things. Reading too much into it.

But then some time later, as you return from the bathroom, you pause. Confusion flickers across your face as you spot something on your desk—a plate, half a sandwich, some chips.

You glance around, questioning, until Karen gives you a knowing smirk, tilting her head toward Matt’s office.

He doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t acknowledge what he’s done.

•••

It’s late. The office is quiet, save for the occasional rustle of papers and the low hum of Matt’s computer. Everyone has gone, leaving just the two of you in the dimly lit space. You’ve been pretending to focus on paperwork, but your mind has been elsewhere- on the weight of Matt’s presence, on the way he looks in the glow of his screen, his jaw tight with unspoken tension.

Matt, with headphones in, is distracted. He’s thinking about you, like he has been all day. Thinking about the way you might touch yourself when no one is watching. About how much he wants to be the one touching you instead.

The thought takes hold, creeping into his veins like wildfire. His hand drifts lower, pal, pressing over the hardness straining against his slacks. He exhales sharply, his mind flooding with images - your skirt bunched around your waist, your body arching against his, the breathless sound of your moans as he drives you over the edge. His fingers tighten. He’s losing himself in it, lost in the fantasy of you, of having you, of making you his.

He doesn’t hear you approach.

You stop in your tracks, eyes widening at the sight before you - Matt, head tilted back against his chair, chest rising and falling in ragged breaths, his hand gripping himself through his trousers. A bead of sweat slides down his temple. Your name spills from his lips in a quiet, desperate murmur.

Heat coils in your stomach.

You should walk away. Pretend you never saw. But you don’t.

Instead, you step closer.

“Enjoying yourself, Mr Murdock?”

His body goes rid His body goes rigid. His eyes snap open, unfocused but sharp, as if he can feel your presence more than see it. His breath is unsteady, his arousal still evident, straining against the dark fabric of his slacks.

It takes him a moment to speak. "You’ve done this to me," he rasps, voice rough, edged with frustration. "Drove me to this. I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day."

A slow smirk tugs at your lips. You take your time, stepping between his spread legs, savouring the way his breath hitches. You step closer, the air between you electric. His hands clench at his sides, like he’s fighting the urge to pull you into his lap and grind against you until you’re just as desperate as he is.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he confesses, voice tight with restraint. “Every look. Every word. You have no idea what you do to me.”

You hum, tilting your head as if considering his words. “And what exactly have I done, Mr. Murdock?”

His jaw tightens. He’s unraveling, restraint slipping through his fingers like sand. You see it in the way his breathing turns ragged, in the way his control—so carefully maintained—is fracturing before you.

“You already know,” he growls.

Your hands brush along the armrests of his chair, caging him in, your body close enough that he can feel your warmth. His fingers twitch, aching to touch.

“You’ve spent all day thinking about me?” you murmur. “Thinking about what you’d do if I let you?”

His control snaps.

One hand grips your waist, dragging you onto his lap in a fluid motion. His other hand tangles in your hair, tilting your head so your lips are a breath away from his.

“Say the word,” he rasps, mouth ghosting over your skin, teasing, tormenting. “Say the word, and I’ll show you exactly what I’ve been thinking about.”

Heat coils in your stomach. His fingers dig into your hips, firm and possessive, as if grounding himself.

“Then show me,” you whisper.

It’s all the permission he needs.

In a blur, your skirt is bunched around your waist, and his mouth is on you—hot, open-mouthed kisses trailing down your neck, each one laced with the promise of what’s to come. His hands roam your thighs, spreading you open, savouring every inch of exposed skin like it’s something sacred.

"You smell incredible," he murmurs against your lips, voice reverent, like he’s memorising every piece of you. His touch is maddening—just enough to make you shiver, but not enough to satisfy the ache burning between your legs.

He lowers himself to his knees pulling you to the edge of the desk. Bringing one of your legs over his shoulder, placing gentle kisses until he reaches your centre.

His breath hitches as he finally—finally—tastes you. A low groan vibrates through his chest as his tongue drags over you, slow and deliberate. You gasp, your fingers threading into his hair, anchoring him there.

“Fuck,” he murmurs against you, voice thick with reverence. “You taste even better than I could ever imagine.”

His tongue moves in long, languid strokes, teasing, savouring, drinking in every sound you make. His grip tightens when your hips jerk against his mouth, an unspoken command to stay still.

But he’s not done teasing you. Not yet.

“You’re going to be good for me, aren’t you?” His voice is low, gravelly, sending shivers through you. “Going to do exactly what I say?”

You can barely form words, nodding, breathless.

“Good.”

And then he ruins you.

His tongue works you over with practiced precision—each flick, each stroke designed to drive you higher. Your body trembles, a desperate whimper escaping your lips as pleasure coils tighter, hotter.

“You like this, sweetheart?” he taunts, voice dark and full of promise. “Like knowing how fucking desperate I’ve been for you?”

You moan, back arching, legs trembling as you lose yourself in him. He keeps going—pushing you closer, dragging it out until the pleasure is unbearable. It’s almost a pain mixed with white hot pleasure. You beg for more. For it not to stop. It can’t stop. You grip Matts hair to be sure it doesn’t. He sucks on a spot that makes you want to scream. Or maybe you are. It’s all too much and you need it. And then you reach a point where it is too much, and your eyes squeeze close and your thighs shake.

And then—release.

You shatter, thighs tightening around his head, a strangled cry escaping your lips. He groans against you, lapping up every last tremor, drawing out every aftershock until your entire body is shaking.

And still—he’s not finished.

Before you can catch your breath, he’s pulling you into his lap, large hands tracing slow, grounding patterns along your abdomen. The fabric of his slacks is rough against your oversensitive skin, the hard press of him impossible to ignore.

"That’s one," he murmurs, lips brushing against your temple.

You barely register the words before his fingers are sliding back between your legs—tracing, teasing, pushing inside you with a slow, deliberate rhythm. Your body jolts, oversensitive, but Matt doesn’t stop.

“We’re not done yet, darling.”

You grind against him instinctively, chasing friction, chasing him. His head tips back, jaw clenched, as you roll your hips over him.

"Fuck," he grits out, hands gripping you tighter. "You're going to kill me."

His fingers curl inside you, stroking that perfect spot with devastating accuracy. His breath is hot against your ear, murmuring filth that makes your toes curl, your body tightening once again.

It doesn’t take long until your second orgasm hits like a freight train. "That’s two."

And then he’s standing, lifting you like you weigh nothing, and bending you over the desk.

Your cheek presses against the cool wood, the contrast to his burning heat making you shudder. Light brushes against your shoulder blades as he moves your hair aside, placing slow, reverent kisses down the curve of your neck.

"You have no idea how perfect you are like this," he groans, his hands steadying you, grounding you. "Falling apart for me. Letting me take what I want. You deserve to feel it all."

Your mind is blank—no, not blank, just utterly consumed by him.

"You still with me, sweetheart?" His touch is slow as it glides down your spine, teasing, taunting.

You barely manage a nod.

He chuckles darkly. “Think you can take one more?”

A whimper is all you can offer.

"That's what I thought."

And then he’s inside you.

The stretch is exquisite, overwhelming, a perfect contradiction of pleasure and desperation. He gives you a moment to adjust—to feel every inch of him, to let the sensation take you over.

And then he moves.

Deep, unrelenting strokes, each one angled to wring more from you, to keep you right on that edge where pleasure and pain blur into something devastating.

"So tight," he groans. "So fucking perfect for me."

He fists a hand in your hair and pulls you up, your back flush against his chest. The movement is purposeful—possessive. His free hand finds your throat, not squeezing, just resting there, feeling the way you gasp for him.

You’re babbling, incoherent, barely able to hold yourself together. And Matt loves it.

His rhythm falters, hips stuttering as the pleasure consumes him. "Fuck," he hisses, his grip on you tightening. "You’re going to make me—"

Your body clenches around him, and that’s all it takes.

He groans your name into your neck, the sound raw and wrecked as he tumbles over the edge, heat spilling inside you. His hold on you tightens as he rides it out, dragging you with him, until the only sound in the room is your ragged breaths and the frantic pounding of your hearts.

And still, he doesn’t let you go.

His arms stay wrapped around you, holding you firm against him, his breath still ragged against your ear. His hands, once gripping with desperation, now trace slow, grounding circles over your skin. Neither of you speaks for a moment—just the sound of your heartbeats, the slow rise and fall of your chests in sync.

Then, finally, Matt exhales, pressing a lingering kiss to the curve of your shoulder. His fingers slide down to your waist, squeezing gently, almost reassuringly.

“You okay?” His voice is lower now, softer, a stark contrast to how he had just wrecked you.

You hum, too blissed out to form words. He chuckles, the sound warm and satisfied, and the vibration of it sends a pleasant aftershock through you.

For a while, you just stay like that, his body still pressed against yours, neither of you willing to move just yet. He runs a hand up your spine, then down again, like he’s memorising every dip, every curve, every shiver you give him.

Finally, reluctantly, he pulls back just enough to let you turn in his arms. His face is unreadable, but there’s something intense lingering behind his expression. Something possessive, something tender.

His fingers ghost along your jaw, tilting your chin up. He studies you, like he’s committing this exact moment to memory.

“You’re incredible,” he murmurs.

You blink up at him, dazed, still trying to process everything. A small, breathless laugh escapes you, and he grins, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

A beat of silence stretches between you. The weight of everything settles in the air—what just happened, what it means, where it leaves you both.

And then, a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“So…” he murmurs, a teasing edge creeping into his voice. “Still convinced you’ll never know what a mind-blowing orgasm feels like?”

Heat floods your cheeks, and you swat weakly at his chest. “Shut up, Murdock.”

He laughs, catching your wrist, pressing a kiss to your pulse point. “Just making sure you’re keeping count,” he teases. His lips trail down, ghosting along your collarbone, dangerously close to starting something all over again.

You arch a brow at him, trying to feign exasperation, but you already know the truth.

You’ll never be able to get enough of him. From the look in his eyes, he feels the same. And that? That might just be the most dangerous thing of all.

[pha55ed]

Is It Casual Now? || F2 bad ending!

type :: angst tw/cw :: hurt, hurt/comfort contains :: ollie, kimi, paul, arthur summary :: after getting rejected from the boys, despite them showing every sign of being madly in love with you, you two finally meet again. maybe you make up, maybe you don't. - inspo "casual" by chappel roan - PART 1 HERE

Ollie Bearman | 03

Almost two weeks went by without a sight of Ollie. You couldn't bring yourself to go outside, you felt so embarrassed from what you did. Every time you thought of it, you either cringed or cried, sometimes both. It was hard to not think of it, since everything reminded you of him.

Every clothing item you owned, Ollie has complimented you in it at least once. Every spot in your house had a specific memory attached to Ollie, like your bathroom where he straightened your hair or your kitchen cabinets where he reached for the plates that you couldn't reach. It was like you were stuck in hell, constantly forced to think of him and how you ruined everything between you both.

It drove you crazy, to the point you started to shut everyone else out. Not even your closest friends knew about what happened, you were too ashamed to admit what you did. You lied to everyone, saying you were just super sick and couldn't hangout with anyone. You weren't fully lying, you were sick from all the crying you did, but you also didn't have the energy to go outside and possibly risk crying in public.

Once again, you were crying in your room alone, doom-scrolling in hopes of finding a funny meme to cheer you up for a split second. But when you scrolled, you saw a random girl's post. Which was odd, you never got actual posts in your feed, and if you did it was normally an ad.

But it didn't seem like an ad, but instead a real post. She could 100% be a model: soft blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a cute smile, and an amazing body. You knew you shouldn't compare yourself to random people online, but it's hard not to when you've been rotting in your bed for a week over a boy who led you on for almost an entire fucking year.

As you swiped, seeing her amazing lifestyle on a yacht in the ocean, that when you saw him. Ollie. Ollie, who sat alongside a group of two other boys and girls. Ollie, who had his hand gently on the blonde girl's shoulders as he pulled her in closer for the photo. Ollie, who was smiling whilst you were sick in bed from how much you exhausted your body from crying.

You couldn't believe it. It was as if those months together meant absolutely nothing to him. As if you meeting his family meant nothing to him, all those late night drives meant nothing, all of those compliments and hugs meant nothing, you meant nothing to him.

Instantly, you bursted into tears yet again. Unable to handle the ache in your heart, the burn in your lungs as they struggled to gasp for air. You meant nothing to him. And yet he was everything to you.

You always saw Ollie as a nice guy, a guy who would at least text you and apologize for how he acted. As if he was one of the few men on this planet who actually cared for you. But the fact that he didn't even call you once, text you once, or even knock on your door spoke a thousand words to you.

What's even worse, is when you pressed on the girl's post to see who was tagged, you couldn't help but press on Ollie's account. Once you did, for some reason all of his stuff was gone. No story highlights, no posts, no followers or following. That's when you realized: he blocked you.

Fuck him.

Fast forward 5 months: you were much better now. You got over the cringy memory of kissing him and seeing him wipe his lips so harshly: you realized you weren't in the wrong.

It took ages for you to realize that, but thankfully you had the help of your closest friends to help you see your worth. They let you rant and ramble for hours on end, about how sweet Ollie was and how he shattered your heart in a million pieces when he left you. And every single friend agreed on one thing: he was an asshole.

After many days of your friends forcing you to get out of bed and do something, you felt so much better. Your group was able to lift you from the shit hole you dug yourself in, even coming together to clean your completely filthy room that you trashed with water bottles, paper plates, and disgusting used tissues. It warmed your heart, making you want to do better to make them proud.

And you made them so proud. Seeing you get your shine back was worth those days of having you cry on their shoulder. You were your old self but even better, with a new hairstyle and new closet. For once, you could finally be proud of yourself. Something you never realized was how self-conscious you were with Ollie.

When you were with him, you constantly craved his validation. Not only him, but his family and friends as well. You completely changed your aesthetic for him, following the aesthetic that you knew he liked more. But now that you were out, you could finally indulge in clothes you actually liked instead of worrying if he would like it.

Once again, you were out with you friends for lunch, a new pass time you loved to death. It was a usual day, filled with family updates, drama from their colleges, and thirsting over a few celebrities. As you laughed from your friends sharing their,,, questionable celebrity crushes, you saw them all go silent.

Your laughter faded too once you looked in their direction, seeing Ollie standing there alone. He was wearing his favorite grey hoodie, his comfort hoodie. His eye bags looked worse than usual, something he rarely ever got since he has a great skincare routine thanks to you. And for the first time in your life, he was wearing slides... Something he swore against wearing because he thought they were so ugly and unprofessional.

Although he broke you, you couldn't help but feel worried for him. Your head was screaming no, you knew if you went to him it would only end in more hurt. There is no such thing as a "closure conversation", it would just led to more questions or even worse, a second chance. But you didn't care, your body moved out of your chair as you went over to him.

Your friends didn't try to stop you, confident that you were stable enough to handle talking to him again. He was waiting for his order, far from the dining area. His head never left the floor, he didn't even notice when you stood right next to him. His head only raised once he saw your shoes, his eyes widening once he saw you.

His eyes darted all across you, as if he was robot scanning to see if you were real. The way his mouth slightly parted showed what he was thinking: he was breathless.

"(Y-Y/N)?" He said softly, stuttering your name as if it was Voldemort. Your heart, on it's own, skipped a beat. Excited to hear the way his voice said your name.

"Ollie," you said, finally being able to say his name without shaking. The way you both stared at each other was speaking so much more than you both able to say. "Are you alright...?"

You felt like an idiot for caring for him. He led you on for months and blocked you once he got a new girl, a new girl whom you compared yourself to in every way possible.

"Yeah." He said, yet his eyes did the opposite. Something you never thought you would ever see: his eyes welled up with tears. "I just..."

Instantly, you placed a hand on his back, coincidentally right on his heart. You could feel how fast it was beating, as if it was a drum going at a tempo of a 300 bpm. Empathy was something you could never run from, it was engraved into you. On your own, your hand rubbed his back while your hand hand pinched the collar of his hoodie to wipe his tears with it.

And through Ollie's tears, he couldn't help but stare at you. Staring at the woman he lost. Regret was all he could feel, he wanted to pour his heart out to you. The way he's never been the same since you left.

So much has happened since he left you. He got with the random blonde girl you saw on Instagram but she ended up cheating on him. He ran out of the skincare you bought him but he's been too exhausted to go outside to buy a new batch. He couldn't focus on his races or training at all, having massive muscle loss due to not eating properly. He couldn't even go home to his family, since they bombarded him with question about you and how they missed you.

What broke him the most was how his baby sister, the sweetest girl in the world, always asked when you come over again. How she complained about losing her future "sister-in-law". And he felt the same way, he missed you 10 times more than his sister could even fathom.

You both stood there awkwardly in the restaurant. Still wiping his tears which he was fighting back against. Luckily no one was looking, since you were both slightly tucked away from the public view. You stayed like this for a few minutes until Ollie broke the silence.

"I miss you." His voice shaky. As he looked down at you, his big brown eyes that you loved were just as shiny as they were the night you kissed him. His hand reached for your cheek, cupping them as he stared at you, cherishing you.

But you cut his time short, gently removing his hands off your face as you looked at him. You didn't have the heart to say it, although he deserved it and worse, but you just shook your head.

And instantly Ollie understood, retracting his hands and putting them into his hoodie pocket. His nodded, looking down once again as his tears fell onto the cold floor.

"I'm sorry,"

Kimi Antonelli | 04

The rest of the day was filled with anxiety and overthinking, while Kimi was having a usual day. He was completely unaware of your inner turmoil, unaware of how you were now looking at his advances with a new light. Nothing was the same anymore, you felt like you barely knew him now.

The way you two went to lunch like usual. He finished his packing and insisted on taking you to lunch for a goodbye. Sitting side by side instead of across from each other, like usual, because he insisted to stay close to you. How he always touched you in some way, whether his knee touching yours or his hand straight up holding yours for a few seconds, because he insisted he needed to feel you. How he complimented you and smiled, but you saw through him now; his "smile" has always been a smirk.

You finished eating together, unable to reply to him with full energy or concentration. He caught on, offering to drop you home early and cut the hangout short. You thanked whoever was above for giving you an easy way out. Getting into his car was awkward for the first time in ages. The last time you felt "awkward" in his car was when you were first ever becoming friends, you always found him cute so it was exciting to be with him. You wonder if he knew you were awkward back then, maybe that's why he kept you around: to play with your emotions.

Finally getting to your house, you shut the door and was unable to look back at him to wave goodbye like usual. He noticed, of course he did, but he didn't push it. Thankfully, he would be gone for least a week due to him needing to do some pre-season preparation for his car and suits.

The second you got home, your facade broke down. Tears streamed down your face before you were even able to process them. Your mind was racing with a million thoughts: were you just a game?, did you mean nothing to him the whole time?, was he just toying you for fun?, did he always knew you liked him?, and how the fuck did you not see through him for months on end?

You felt so stupid, as if "idiot" was plastered across your forehead. Months, weeks, hours spent together doing basically everything a girlfriend and boyfriend did: for nothing, All of those cheesy date nights where Kimi introduced you as his girlfriend as a "joke" was nothing. Seeing his family who welcomed you with open arms was just another night for Kimi. Even admitting your deepest insecurities, something you never let anyone know, and how softly he comforted you, was just a casual day.

Being led on is one of the worst feelings ever, and you never felt it until this point. The heart ache, realizing that you were just a bit of fun for him. Your eyes couldn't even process the room in front of you, completely washed out from your tears. Your legs shaking from how heavy you body suddenly felt. How could he do this? The sweet boy who gleefully volunteered to teach you Italian. Something so innocent turned into months of you falling in love.

Weeks passed with constant texts from Kimi. Always asking how you were, why you were ignoring him, and if you wanted to meet up. But he quickly got the hint that you were no longer interested in being friends. He tried to get answers from you, visiting your house but you weren't home: instead you were being comforted by your best friend for weeks while you cried your heart out.

He gave up on you, no longer bothering to text and call you. He stopped coming to your house, your parents never saw him again nor did your security cameras. Although he never came to your physically, he couldn't leave your mind mentally.

Thankfully, your best friend was able to snap you back into your true self. It took many weeks of crying and multiple boxes of tissues, but you survived the "grief" phase and moved on from every other stage. All stages by anger.

As the months passed, you saw him in F2 having a great season: and that enraged you. How could he be having such a great season while you were picking up the shattered pieces of yourself. How could there be possible rumors of him moving up to F1 to drive for Mercedes when he hasn't even apologized to you once. It was driving you crazy: motivating you to do better.

Although you couldn't beat his career achievements, they were insanely impressive, you found something even better. You realized you had an amazing friend alongside you the whole time, Jak Crawford. Your best friend was amazing help, but Jak was too.

He went from a casual friend to your new boyfriend, and you couldn't be more grateful. Everything you had with Kimi, you had with Jak: but even better. Date nights with Kimi were always a bit awkward, you blamed it on teen love. But with Jak, it felt so natural and open, he let you say the most insane things and would agree with you.

Jak was everything you could ask for and more. Flowers on every date, stupid jokes that made you cry from laughing, and his family was so welcoming to you as well. He showed you off to his friends, even getting you matching jewelry to make sure everyone knew you were "his", something Kimi would have never done despite how much he acted like it. Jak was real, and he truly was proud to have you as his girlfriend.

So when he asked to bring you to his next race in Spa, you were honored but scared of seeing Kimi again. But he insisted, saying it was the last before the summer break and he wanted to be able to show you off the media and introduce you to his best mates on the grid. So when he said that, how could you possibly say no.

Now you were in the garage, waiting to greet Jak after his race. He finished 3rd which was amazing! You couldn't be more proud of him. But he was busy with interviews and a post-race talk, so you'd be there for about an hour or two before he was free. So you sat down outside, watching the rest of the racers cool down while the engineers and mechanics worked like crazy.

But as you observed the scene, you didn't notice how Kimi came up behind you. When you saw him, you jumped, your eyes widening as you stared at him. You wanted to ask what he was doing here, but it would be much more appropriate for him to ask you that.

"(Y/N)," He said you name with a sweet tone, his eyes looking at you with a glossy overcoat. "Why are you here?"

From his body language and tone, you could tell he was assuming it was for him. But, it wasn't filled with malice or cockiness, but instead a sense of gratitude for you caring for him. Unlucky for him, you were actually here for your loving boyfriend.

"Here to watch the race," Yet for some reason, you felt nervous to say boyfriend. Scared, as if you were cheating on Kimi by getting with Jak. But you knew you two were never together, for crying out loud he said he would never date you.

"T-that's nice..." he said, as he looked to the side, suddenly feeling embarrassed about his 9th place finish. "So, did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did," You say awkwardly fiddling with your necklace that had a "J" on it. Kimi quickly noticed it, his eyes fixated on it as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Who's J?" He said, his tone slightly angry and hurt, he felt betrayed for some odd reason - but he knew deep down he had no right. He knew how he treated you was awful.

His was running wild, filled with so many thoughts. Worried if you saw how he messed up a few times during the race and if you laughed at him. Wondering if you saw his other races and how great he did for a rookie. Wondering if you heard the rumors of him possibly moving up to F1. But most importantly: he wanted- no, he needed to know, did you miss him?

But before he get the answer to any of those, he felt his heart get crushed. As Jak came behind you, wrapping his arm over your shoulder so easily. Kimi's eyes watched as your hand naturally came up to gently hold onto Jak's hand, as if you've been doing this for months already.

And that's when it hit him: J was for Jak...

Kimi's face was wiped clean of any emotion, left completely blank inside as his eyes darted between you two. He could finally get a taste of how you felt: the only difference was that you didn't lead him on for months on end.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jak asked, he knew your past with Kimi all too well. He was one of the very few people who calmed you down from your many panic attacks whenever you saw Kimi post or even got a memory of him.

You were unsure of what to say, although you felt 10 times more comfortable with Jak around you, you still felt awkward around Kimi. But you decided to end Kimi's misery of staring at you both.

"Nothing," you say casually. You gave Jak's hand two squeezes, a secret signal you both made to tell the other that you wanted to leave in uncomfortable situations.

"Good race, Kimi." Jak said, as he patted Kimi's back extra aggressively. As you both walked away, Kimi was still left speachless.

And for the first time in ages, you didn't care how he felt.

Paul Aron | 17

Avoiding Paul was basically impossible. Although being around him made you anxious, making your blood rush from your head to your toes and your heart freeze: you were teammates and had to stay together. Luckily, you were able to avoid him for only a week due to having different schedules for media and training.

But once again, you two were forced together: something you used to be grateful for. Now you dreaded it, memories rushing in your head of how you and him having the best time ever. His words from last week kept ringing in your head, driving you insane. "It's against our contract" he said, and yet you still smelled him on your pillows at night. Although you agreed to just be friend with benefits, you couldn't handle the idea of not being Paul's, and vice versa.

You were sick of the constant yearning, you knew this relationship was holding you back from finding a true partner that cherished you and showed you off. So, with the help of your best friend, you planned an entire script of how to break things off with Paul.

It was a harsh process, ripping your guts out to even think of it. You couldn't bare the thought of losing Paul. Even though there's a high chance that you two could just stay friends, you weren't sure you'd be able to do that since you loved him. Something you were too scared to say for ages. But you felt it deep inside of you all along, even before you two became friends with benefits.

The only reason you stayed as his fuck-partner for so long was in fear that you'd ruin your teamwork, but also because you were mortified that this would be all of Paul that you could get. You kept quiet for so long just to keep him beside you, even if you wanted more. Because in your mind, you were grateful for even a crumb of him.

As you and Paul were forced to film a quick video, you put on the facade that everything was okay. As if you didn't fight back tears in whilst doing your makeup because of how anxious you were. As if you didn't have snot run down your face as you cried to your best friend about how much you loved him, not caring that he only saw you for your body.

After the video finished, you walked towards your drivers room in a haste. Your driver room and Paul's room were directly next to each other, you wanted to avoid him as much as possible until you felt fully ready to break things off with him.

It was eating you alive, you couldn't even focus on the room around you. Your engineers and mechanics called your name, but you didn't bat an eye, unable to even decipher what they were saying. It was as if you were in a trance, unable to break free from the spell.

But as you walked into your drivers room, you let out a small sigh of relief. Being alone was much better, the pressure of people's eyes on you quickly left your head. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the your other senses, like touch and smell, in order to calm down.

But even that was impossible. Because the entire room smelled like Paul. The scent of his slightly woodsy and masculine cologne that mixed with his natural smell was a like a high for you. The entire room felt warm, as if he standing right behind you to give you a hug. And you were right.

"Hey," Paul says lowly, scaring you as your eyes jolted open "Why'd you run out of the video?"

From the way he was smirking, the way he was reaching out for your face and waist, and the way he was looking at you with low eyes: you knew exactly what he wanted from you. But you couldn't do it anymore.

Being with him was eating you alive. Constantly leaving you unsatisfied, yearning for more. But you couldn't get more, so you kept settling for the scraps of love and affection he could give you without the official title of his "girlfriend". It was so hard to describe how you felt and why you felt it.

It's hard to not give in to what he wants, when you love him so dearly that you'd give into anything he asked for. It's hard to not love him when you remember how tenderly he loved you and held you during tough times. But it's hard to want to stay with him when you knew deep down, this wasn't healthy.

You stepped backwards, barely escaping his reach. He looked at you with a puzzled look, instantly retracting his hands. But instead of being mad or upset like most men, he instantly looked concerned.

"I'm sorry, are you not in the mood?" He said cautiously, "is everything okay?"

No, nothing is okay, I love you and yet I can't have you although you're right in front of me - is what you wanted to say. You wanted to scream how you hated yourself for letting him use you and yet you wanted you sob in his arms about how much you miss him despite him standing right there.

But instead of saying any of those thoughts, your body reacted on it's own. Tears slipped out of your eyes, too overwhelmed from the emotions of everything. You hated it, you hated how your body was ruining the perfect script you made with your best friend. But you knew it was either now or never, so you broke the silence in the room.

"I can't do this anymore, Paul." You said softly, your throat closing up as you spoke. As if your own body was rejecting your brain. "I can't..." You said as you looked down at the floor, tears fully pouring out.

He reached to comfort you, understanding what you were implying. "I uh... I'm so sorry, of course we can stop." But you could tell he didn't understand the depths of what you meant by that.

"No Paul, not just "stop" but cut this all off completely." You said as you looked him in the eyes, "I love you."

His eyes widened, taking a step back. This was the complete opposite reaction you wanted, but you predicted this was a possibility. You sighed, already able to tell that he didn't feel the same towards you. He was left speechless and yet you were left wanting to say thousands of words to him, describing in detail of how you loved every single aspect of him and how it ruined you to settle just for friend with benefits, but you couldn't.

"I know you don't feel the same.. And that's why I need space.." You said, with lots of small pauses in between to allow your sniffles and small hick-ups to come out. "I can't take this anymore. It hurts, it hurts to see you and not have you. It hurts to know I'm nothing to you when you're everything to me."

Thank God it was summer break, meaning you didn't have to face him. It was the best thing you could wish for, since you knew being around him would just have you burst out into tears. But that didn't stop you from crying still, it was impossible not to considering how deeply you fell for Paul.

But your best friend and friend group wouldn't allow you to stoop so low, so they kept you constantly busy. They uplifted you in every way possible, always reminding you that you didn't need Paul and that he's dumb for not seeing you for you. But they still kept it civil enough since they knew he was stuck as your teammate for the rest of the reason, and possibly a year or two after the season ended.

You enjoyed your summer break in California, enjoying every single part of it. From San Francisco's city life, Santa Cruz's chill beaches, and San Jose's lavish malls. It was a dream for you to do this trip with all of your friends. It was also a great opportunity for you to glow up during this time by changing your hair, getting a bunch of new clothes, finally investing in some life changing stuff (like the expensive ass Dyson hair that you always wanted and the $400 facial that made your skin look brand new).

So when your vacation was coming to an end, you couldn't help but feel dread, a huge pit in your stomach that you kept filling with distractions only grew hungrier and hungrier. With only a week left of vacation, you were forced to say goodbye to your friends and California as you traveled to Italy for your race in Monza.

They called it a "four week summer break" but it was really just a three week break, considering you needed to lock-in one week prior to the actual grand prix to prepare for the race. It made you want to scream and hide in your bed forever, but your confidence has grown within those three weeks, you were decently prepared to face Paul.

But what you weren't prepared to face was someone else, someone you've never seen before in your entire life. Some random brunette girl, she was drop dead gorgeous. Although grid girls weren't a thing anymore, you were fully convinced she must be one considering her beauty and amazing body. You walked up to her, excited to see another woman in the paddock in F2 that wasn't an engineer or mechanic.

As you took steps towards her, someone beat you to it: Paul Aron. And as if luck suddenly turned his back against you, you watched as Paul's hand snuck around her waist. She looked towards him, her face instantly lighting up into a big smile as a soft giggle left her lips. And he copies her, giving her the same sweet smile that you knew so well.

And suddenly, that confidence was all gone. Your new hair didn't matter, new clothes weren't anything special, and that facial was for nothing. Because as you looked in front of you, you were hit with the hard truth: that you were just a body for him.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Those sweet reassurance he gave you when you felt insecure about your body, you weren't sure if he was being honest or just trying to get into your pants. The times you snuck out of practice or the paddock together, giggling from the fear of being caught, just to go get ice cream, maybe it was just him buttering you up so he could use you. When he would invite you to his DJing events and show you how to mix the audios together, placing his big hand on top of yours as he gently guided your fingers to lift and pull different levers and buttons, you assume it meant nothing to him at all.

The rest of the season went by in slow motion, as if it was torturing you with ever millisecond. Every single day felt like a chore for you, almost making you lose your love for racing entirely. After three more races in Baki, Lusail, and Yas Island, you were finally free. And this time, it wasn't a mere three weeks, but instead a full four month break.

A whole quarter of a year, and you planned to use the most of it. It took a while to regain your sanity and click back into reality. What better way to do that than to reconnect with friends in your hometown. It was just like those old cheesy rom-coms.

A busy girl heads back to her hometown to rest, and that's when she meets a sweet boy who's the exact thing she needs: calmness and stability. That's when you met your current partner, and he was all that you could imagine and more. He was basically perfect, besides from his annoying dad jokes, which you secretly loved.

He fulfilled you in every way possible, healing parts of you that you didn't even know about. His energy brought out your inner child, letting you be your true self without the mask of the media watching. He listened to everything you said, remembering every small detail you ever shared. For example, you said you used to love watching Disney as a kid, always loving the princesses - so he surprised you with tickets to Disneyland, even getting Fast Pass to ensure you got to do all of the rides you wanted.

Although your hometown was a medium-income area, he was rich due to his parents being in real estate. He was next in line to fufill the legacy, taking in tons of houses and apartments once he became of age. Which was perfect for you, the complete opposite of Formula 2. The climb to Formula 1 was always uncertain for many, only the very top percent of people were able to make it up there. So knowing that if one day Formula failed, you'd have him to fall back on.

It was as if God saw what happened between you and Paul and felt pity for you, sending him as a apology. And you accepted it, 100%.

So when the 2025 season started and you were yet again forced to be teammates with Paul, you weren't as scared or anxious as you were in 2024. Instead, you were neutral, completely over the drama since your boyfriend was able to calm you down and ground you in reality. You always thought that instead of real estate that your boyfriend should go into psychiatry, since he always knew how to help you improve yourself.

As you stepped into the paddock, saying hello to all of your engineers and mechanics for the first time in ages, you were so happy. You rediscovered your love for Formula, feeling the spark to win more than ever. It felt like home once again, the one thing you loved more than anything.

While you were chatting with your mechanics, catching up on how their winter break went, you saw Paul step in. And yet, you felt fine. Your heart didn't drop to your stomach like it did for days on end during 2024. Your eyes didn't fight back tears by batting your eyelashes a million times. Your blood felt still, your brain felt stable, and your lungs weren't crushed by a thousand bricks: you were fine around him now.

As the mechanics left, leaving you alone with Paul - you felt nothing. You felt completely neutral around him. Although he hurt you badly, ruining you for multiple months, you didn't have the guts to hate him. Because at one point in your life, he was your everything, and you realized it wasn't his fault if he didn't feel the same. Of course, how he used you and led you on was cruel, but you blamed it on the fact that you were both young and dumb. You had forgiven him, already moved on to the new chapter starting in your life.

When you and Paul were friends, you'd be chatting for hours on end about stupid topics. But now, the room was silent. For you, it was comfortable silence. But for Paul, he was shifting in his seat, bouncing his leg and biting his lip. He was looking at you, waiting for you to look back at him and say hello - but you were busy watching the clouds pass and the other teams' mechanics work on their car. Paul cleared his throat, able to tell that you wouldn't be speaking to him unless provoked.

"(Y/N)." He said, his voice sounded hoarse for some reason. When you turned to face him, you suddenly understood why - he was crying.

Instantly, you panicked, feeling as if you did something wrong. You shifted, facing him entirely as you fought the urge to wipe his tears. "Are you okay?" You asked, concerned.

He shook his head, biting his lip even harder as he rested his head in-between his hands as he began to sob. You reached besides you, grabbing tissues from a randomly convenient tissue box. Handing it to him, he used it to wipe his tears. His body was faced towards you and his head was faced away, he was hiding his red tear stained face from you.

"I..." He said slowly, gaining the courage to tour towards you and look at you. His poor posture and shaking shoulders made him look weak as he looked up at your eyes. "I'm so sorry... for everything, for being such a dick."

Unable to handle seeing him in such a fragile state, you cracked. "It's okay," You say gently, trying to ease his mind from the guilt, despite him deserving it for the Hell he put you through.

"No, no it's not okay. I was such a dick. A-And I was just, lying to everyone the whole time." He said, before he began to quickly ramble whilst slurring his words "I thought I didn't need you, that I didn't love you. So I let you go, got with some random chick, and then I realized that she wasn't what I wanted.. She was so far from it... I wanted you, I needed you. I wanted to tell you for ages but I couldn't since I felt so stupid and dumb. And then I heard you moved on, and now, now I'm-" His voice cracked, his sudden word-vomit coming to a halt as he softly said, "I'm sorry."

You could tell that it was weighing on him heavily. His obvious inner turmoil was making you emotional, finally getting the closure that you secretly needed to validate yourself. But you knew that he needed his closure too. It was going to hurt him, but you knew it needed to be done.

"I'm sorry, Paul." You said softly, grabbing another tissue as you gingerly wiped his tears away. It was as if he melted into your touch, his face gravitated towards your hand on his own. "I'm glad you see what you did wrong, but I hope you know that I'm happy now."

Arthur Leclerc | 65

After that boat ride, you and Arthur didn't see each other for a very long time. You wanted to see him, but you could tell that it would be extremely awkward if you did. He left you completely in the dark for a while, until he sent you a text. When you got his text after 3 days of no contact, you were so excited. You were crossing your fingers, hoping that maybe he'd be okay with actually dating - even though you knew this outcome was extremely unlikely.

And you were right, that outcome was basically impossible. Arthur texted you, simply stating: "I think the joke has gone on for too long, it's best if we end this fake-dating. I'm sorry (Y/N), you're great but I don't feel the same way."

He barely typed anything at all, which hurt even more. The fact that you weren't even worth a paragraph or just a few more sentences spoke thousands of words to you. You could tell that he didn't value you, that you were just a bit of fun for him to have whilst getting the convince of not dealing with all of those fangirls.

It was rough at first, but you managed to pull through. You went through all the stages of grief required to move on, from crying, screaming, begging God for a different outcome: only to be constantly met with the same ending, nothing changing.

To rub salt into the wound, fans were going crazy over your "break up". To the fans, it was as if they were watching their mom and dad divorce. They screamed and cried all over social media, making multiple sad edits. They even tried to pry into the reason for the break up, some going as far to spam you with DMs and emails, begging for an interview or at least some closure.

You denied all of these, of course, deciding that Arthur should be the one in charge of this PR disaster since he's the one that wanted the break up anyways. He settled on the fact that you two just didn't work out since you were busy with school and he was busy with racing. You scoffed at his answer, but understood it was the easiest way to let the fans and media die down.

The drama did die down, but he ruined it. Arthur got drunk at a party, celebrating his brother's excellent race week. Getting drunk wasn't the bad part, the bad part was when Arthur was filmed by his friends drunkenly saying that he never needed you and that you just "kept the hoes away". His friend group smirked and laughed.

But the media wasn't happy at all. The story went from a simple break up to a complete dumpster fire overnight. Fans were no longer begging for answers on the break up, instead they were sending you comforts and reassurance that you were lovely. Even photographers and journalists came out to support you, sharing how you were such a sweetheart to be around.

Somehow, the drama worsened even more as some mechanics and engineers got inspired by the Arthur hate train, as they began to come out with their own stories with Arthur. They shared how Arthur was sometimes difficult, using his status as Charles little brother over others. They even shared how they would notice Arthur neglect you at times in order to do his own tasks, despite the fact that you would drop everything you were doing just to serve him.

The entirety of Formula turned against him in a snap, he was now seen as the ungrateful brother and rude boyfriend. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little happy that his karma got served to him.

Luckily, you were smart and was able to make a profit off of this whole drama. Many brands each out to you to become their sponsor, offering you modeling gigs and the opportunity to film commercials. You took all of those, even beginning to share your own vlogs. The media loved your personality and how down to earth you were. Not only that, but you were extremely funny and witty, making them love you even more.

You were no longer known as Arthur's girlfriend, but instead as you. Which was amazing, meaning you'd never need to think of him much again.

That is, until he decided to do something so stupid. So so stupid, even stupider than you asking what you were with him. He flew to your country, knocked on your door, and waited outside for hours on end. You looked through your security camera, completely in denial that he was actually outside.

But he was. It was Arthur. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, you could even see small white boxed in the bouquet. They were definitely filled with expensive jewelry of some kind. He was also dragging a small wagon with him, which held even more gifts. Things ranging from adorable stuffed animals, your favorite chocolates, and every expensive thing you've ever wanted but never felt worthy enough to purchase.

You ignored him, not wanting to see him after how he led you on. You were doing so much better without him, you literally flourished the second he left your life. But he didn't care, he waited outside for hours on end. Even when it reached 11pm, he didn't care. Instead, he hopped into his car, and fell asleep.

By the time you woke up, he was waiting by your door yet again. He wasn't allowing you out of the house without hearing him out first. His stubbornness and your need to go to the grocery store finally made you step outside.

And as you opened the door, it was as if he just saw God himself. The way his eyes lit up, his lips slightly parting, and his hands instead pushing him off the ground to stand on his feet. He was in awe to see you, as if you weren't real.

"(Y/N)," He said breathless, hearing your name in his voice was so odd yet comforting. "Finally," He said with a small smirk to lighten the mood.

"What do you want?" You said, annoyed as you leaned against your door frame.

"You."

"Pfft!" You said in his face, shocked at how quickly he changed.

How he went from looking at you down in disgust as you admitted you loved him - to now being messy and dirty from sitting on your porch for almost 18 hours. It was insane to you that he could ever think that you'd want him back, especially with how happy you were now.

[defectiveporcelaindoll]

Chapter II : Guilty as Sin

“If long-suffering propriety is what the want from me—

They don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly.”

series masterlist Chapter I

pairing: post prison/ cm:evolution Spencer Reid x BAU AFAB!Reader (I like to think this is where Spencer is during the current seasons.)

summary: an unsub with a taste for couples and power imbalances leads Doctor Spencer Reid not only back into the classroom but down the hypothetical aisle with the BAU's newest Probie for an undercover assignment that may change his life.

genre: slow-burn romance, hurt/comfort, fluffy angsty

cw: age gap (Spencer is in his 40s, reader is 24), a couple y/n's (I'm sorry, I know I'm sick of it too.), fake marriage, hurt/comfort, harsh words and gossip about reader and Spence; info-dumping Spencer; pet names (angel) possibly eventual smut in later parts, female reader she/her pronouns, bad writing! lemme know if I missed anything and as always, lemme know what you think!

note: still third person pov, but this one is more from the readers perspective. Thinking maybe I’ll go back and forth between chapters if you see a quote in purple it’s readers perspective, if the quote is green it’ll be Spencer’s 🩵

wordcount: 2.1k

Of course, Penelope did not disappoint, popping a tiny confetti popper at the newlyweds as they made their way out of the conference room and into the bullpen, which felt like an awkward makeshift reception. The rest of the team offered playful congratulations, with Alvez going so far as to wolf-whistle and point out the way the couple's linked hands which in turn earned him a swift knock on the back of the head courtesy of Tara. It felt safe and joyous. Y/N tried to smile, hesitantly dropping Spencer’s hand as she collected her things, the anxiety of being away from these people, from her home and normal life, just starting to settle into her chest.

The flight to Seattle was long. Though Y/N had traveled by jet multiple times, it had never felt so massive as she and Spencer sat at the small table combing through the case file in comfortable silence. So far, three couples had been found dead in their quiet Seattle homes. Of the couples, two of the men had been professors at different colleges in the area while the third was the head of a non-profit organization. The women, were all nearly twenty years young and had worked for their husbands in some way before being married. At each crime scene, the unsub left a calling card of sorts. A feather in the hands of the woman and a beautifully written poetic line alluding to the dangers of an “unruly” woman in the hand of the man.

“These cards are beautiful,” Y/N mused, turning the evidence bag with the delicate stationery over in her hands. “Each line is poetic in nature but not quite right. See, ‘Wise men once said Wild winds are death to the candle’? And these feathers?”

“I don’t think any of these are actual published poems, more like plays at various poets' works. But the feather, by the look of it, it looks like it’s possibly from an albatross. They’re seabirds with wingspans that can reach up to nearly ten feet. There are several poems regarding that particular bird. The first one that comes to mind is Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘The Rime of Ancient Mariner,’ in which an albatross is wrongfully shot down because a mariner thought it to be a bad omen. In older mythologies, the albatross was seen as good luck, bringing wind to sailors. In the poem, the mariner is forced to wear the lifeless albatross around his neck in place of the traditional cross.” There’s an excitement in Spencer that y/n hasn’t seen before, the way his eyes light up and his hand flail almost wildly. It’s endearing— cute she would almost say.

“It’s not a super common metaphor, but the albatross is also often used in association with guilt or shame,” Spencer continued, sitting back in his chair, eyes looking anywhere but at the woman in front of him. “Some authors use it to symbolize a curse…sorry.” He cleared his throat, shaking his head, his curls hanging gently around his face as he dropped his gaze back down to the file on the table.

“No-no, don’t apologize. That was all incredibly fascinating. I knew you are wildly academic, but why exactly do you know all of that about some random bird I’ve never even heard of?” Y/N's tone wasn’t teasing or harsh; it was full of genuine sincerity and curiosity, which took Spencer completely by surprise.

“My mentor… when I started at the BAU, he had a thing with birds,” Spencer chuckled, offering a small shrug as his gaze came back to meet hers. “I guess I just really wanted to impress him.” The jet fell back into a comfortable silence, except for the rustling papers, for another hour until Y/N decided she’d had enough and retreated to the small couch to rest her eyes for a bit.

The drive from the airport to the university was quick. The house they’d been assigned was cute, small, quaint, but certainly big enough for a professor and their spouse to be comfortable. There was an office for Spencer, a decently sized kitchen, and a living room that opened up to a sweet little patio. Truly, there should’ve been no complaints. As Y/N entered the bedroom, she frowned, her go-bag in hand as she shuffled around the nicely sized room, sizing up the singular king-sized bed. A knock at the bedroom door pulled her from her thoughts.

Spencer cleared his throat, his eyes falling between the bed and the woman in front of him before nodding. “Don’t worry, you can take the master if you’d like. The office has a pullout, and I really don’t mind.”

“That’s ridiculous. You can sleep here—we can...” her voice going up an octave as she tried and failed to play it cool. “It’s not a big deal, Spencer. We’re both adults.” She shrugged, tossing her bag onto the bed and turning to sit at its foot, her arms crossed tightly against her chest. Spencer read her like a book, seeing the young woman in front of him in the midst of a battle with herself, her pride and anxiety both fighting for control, though he knew she’d likely never admit that.

“Really, I’m okay. Thank you, though. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” He gave her a tight-lipped smile and a little wave before retreating down the hall.

For the next week or so, the duo did their best to make the space feel like a home. What it lacked in size, it surely made up for it in atmosphere. For a state that had a nasty rap for rain and gloom, it was surprisingly peaceful. There hadn’t been any rain yet, and the summer sun stayed up well into the night. There were moments where Y/N caught herself thinking that had it not been for work, this would be a really nice life.

When the semester started, they fell into a comfortable routine. During the day, Y/N carried the full course load of a grad student, while Spencer spent most of his time tucked away in his on-campus office, prepping lectures and reviewing assignments. At night, the real work would begin as they’d sit at their quaint little dining table with a pot of coffee or take-out containers and go over any developments in the case that the team had found back in DC. In the two weeks they’d been in Seattle, the body count thankfully hadn’t gone up.

As the weeks went on, the rumblings of the new “hot” behavioral psychology professor spread like wildfire. Those rumors were quickly followed by the fact that he was not only married, but his wife was a student. It didn't take long for people to begin connecting the dots. With every professor calling out her name and immediately sizing her up, the other students caught on fast. Of course, after that, y/n became hyper aware the way almost everyone looked at her and the whispers from professors and students alike that she was “the girl,” the reason Doctor Reid had to move out west. She’d expected it from the students; it was incredible gossip that she herself would’ve eaten up back in her first round of university. What she hadn’t expected were the comments made by her partner's new colleagues, whispers usually a little too loud as she’d make her way into a room.

“She really should be ashamed of herself. You know, I heard he only married her to minimize the scandal. I bet he’s miserable.”

On a normal day, the comment would’ve rolled right off her back, she’d file it away with the rest of the case's details. Maybe she was overtired just exhausted from the workload of simultaneously playing a grad student and an FBI agent, but today, she let the words seep beneath her skin, poisoning her mind. She hadn’t stayed for the class, instead turning on her heels, tears threatening to roll down her cheeks as she made her way back to the house. She felt absolutely ridiculous, letting her emotions consume her this way. The words weren’t true, nothing about her current life or situation was true, so why did it hurt so much hearing that people thought Spencer was miserable beside her?

Am I allowed to cry?

When she entered the house, she crumbled against the door, the tears freely flowing as she allowed herself to fall apart in the privacy of the home that was supposed to be empty.

“Y/N?” Spencer called, his footsteps echoing against the hardwood floors as he made his way down the hall. “What’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” He froze at the end of the hall, taking in the crumpled form of his pseudo-wife. “W-what happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” The words came rushing out as he sunk to his knees in front of her, his hands hesitantly reaching out to cup her cheeks, his thumb trying to brush the tears away as quickly as they fell.

“I-I’m fine... You-you weren’t supposed to see this,” she sniffed, trying to pull away, to hide her face in her sweater, but Spencer wouldn’t let that happen. His hand staying planted firmly on her cheek, keeping her in place. “You’re supposed to be in your office...” she said, practically whimpering as another round of tears betrayed her.

“I came home to grab a book and a bite to eat... angel, what’s going on?”

“It’s silly—no, it’s stupid, and I shouldn’t even care, and none of this is real, and I—I...” She caught herself, her breaths coming short and quick, but Spencer didn’t move. He sat, patiently waiting for her to continue. “I know that it’s a story, that I am not really your wife, that you were never really my professor, and that six months ago you didn’t even know who I was.” Finally, she took a deep breath, her hand slowly taking his from her cheek and holding it in both of hers in her lap. “But it’s so awful, Spence... I’m just so tired of hearing how I’ve ruined your life, that I’m using you, that...” The last words caught in her throat as another silent sob racked through her body. “...that you’re miserable.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Do I look miserable? No, I don’t think I do and if I do, I sincerely apologize, I think it just may be my resting face.” his voice dripped the kind of sincerity that made Y/N’s heart flutter, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lip. “You’ve got a good face Spencer, not too miserable…”

Spencer chuckled, taking the compliment with a little nod, as he offered her hand a small squeeze. “I’m sorry, you’re going through this seemingly alone, and if it would make you feel any better I can have a conversation with the other professors… and though I’ve never been in your exact position, I do remember what it was like to constantly be torn down by everyone around you. You’re allowed to cry, angel, allowed to feel all of the things you’re currently feeling. And while I might only be your temporary husband, I did sign that paper, and I do promise to take care of you and make you smile and protect you from every awful thing I can’t control outside that door. Okay?”

She nodded, her gaze falling to their joined hands in her lap as the last of her tears stained her now rosy cheeks.

“I’m going to need a verbal response, angel.” His tone shifted; it wasn’t quite as delicate or gentle as his previous vows had been, but it was just stern enough to draw her gaze back up to his.

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?

“Y-yes. Okay.” With another nod, she took her hand from his, dragging it down her dampened cheeks. “I’m sorry about all this.” She offered him a small smile and a shrug. “I swear I’m not usually like this—”

“Stop it. There is nothing to be sorry about.” He rose to his feet, his hand immediately reaching out to help his partner up. “Now come on, I’ve got classes to cancel, and we’ve gotta get you cleaned up. I think we deserve to take the rest of the day off.”

“Doctor Spencer Reid, are you—are you proposing we play hooky this afternoon?” Y/N clutched her metaphorical pearls, mock shock consuming her features. Spencer rolled his eyes, a genuine chuckle passing his lips as he shook his head.

“What can I say, we’ve been here—what, going on three weeks? I think we deserve to see the sights. And besides, how else am I gonna show the world just how miserable I am by your side?” He teased, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the side of her head. “Now come on, seriously, up, moving. Let’s go, I’m taking you out.”

“If it’s make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?”

Chapter III: So High School

taglist: @olives-and-sunshine @iniyalovesall @suzysface @spencereidbasis @tatilolz @herbookgarden @guiltyyassin

[justwinginglife]

May I kindly request (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

When Hoshina was buying sweet gifts for freader which when he saw her he was about to surprise her but saw her with another guy (which in reality is her brother actually) Hoshina didn't know she had a brother but he didn't know how react to this so he ignored her until 4 weeks🙂

Hehehe get creative creative one 😁

Carried Away

When Hoshina sees you, he can't help but get carried away. He imagines what you'd look like in a pretty dress and gets the desire to buy you a dress. He thinks you'd look sexy sucking on a popsicle so he buys you ice cream. Hell- if he thought you'd look good next to the Eiffel Tower, he would probably fly you to Paris.

So when he passed by the women's jewelry section (he'd like to say on accident, but your birthday happened to be coming up and it was no accident at all), he couldn't get over the thought of you wearing a necklace with his name on it. And then he thought he'd buy you a gold bracelet set as well (he knows you're a gold girlie and not a silver girlie) and heck, he was already here, he might as well get a matching gold ring too. The man couldn't help but get caught up in spoiling you. When the lady at the register packed up his order for him and said you were a lucky girl, he told her he was the lucky one to have you.

Now he had very much planned on going home and saving his gift for your birthday, you had one month to go, but he couldn't wait to see you wearing his name around your neck so he drove straight over to your place, gifts in tow. He had just parked the car when he saw a tall man walking out of your apartment. Who was this guy and what was he doing leaving your place? He stiffened as he saw you following eagerly behind him, laughing with him and nudging his arm. Without meaning to, he began to size the guy up and compare himself to him. Did you like taller men? He was definitely more muscular than this guy, so he was fine right? He watches as you hug the man and his heart sinks as he hears you say "I love you, drive safe!"

You go back into your apartment and he slumps down in his car seat, groaning. Were you married? Were you having an affair and was he the extra man or was the other guy? Did he misunderstand his relationship with you? He feels like an idiot if he did. He starts to spiral, overthinking every conversation he's ever had with you to see if maybe he misread your feelings. Defeated, he goes back home.

The next day you look for him, but he doesn't seem to be in any of his usual spots. You think it's strange, but you shrug it off, assuming he's busy doing Vice Captain duties.

A week later, you know it's not official duties that are keeping him away from you at this point and you wonder what it could be. He won't answer your calls, he won't answer your texts, and he's never anywhere to be found on base. You ask around and he's been offering his aid to other divisions on other missions out of town. You're about ready to track him down even if it means driving to another city and dragging him back home with you, but you start to wonder if maybe you misunderstood your relationship with him. It was still new, after all. You don't want to be some clingy girlfriend who can't survive a week without him. So you leave him alone.

A month passes and it's your birthday. You haven't spoken to him at all and you miss him desperately. It kills you thinking he might not miss you. You roll over in bed, not wanting to go to work if you know he won't be there. You sigh and reach for your phone. You almost fall out of bed- he texted you. You blink and look at the screen again.

Happy Birthday.

That's it. Two words. They both make your heart melt and make your heart ache. So whatever he's mad at you for, he at least cares about you enough to wish you a happy birthday. But apparently it's not enough to come see you on your birthday.

You call in sick to work and cry yourself back to sleep. It's an hour after you were supposed to be at work and there's loud knocks at your door. You rub your tear stained eyes and go to open the door. It's him. He's here. He's holding several bags. Why's he here? Were you imagining things? You rub your eyes again.

"S-Soshiro?" You mumble sleepily.

He shifts his weight. "Yeah. Yeah it's me. Can I come in?"

You groggily move aside, shutting the door behind him as he enters your apartment.

"You get my text?"

You nod silently, still wondering why he's here.

He clears his throat uncomfortably. "I, uh, I heard you were sick. Came to check on you."

You blink. "You came to check on me all the way from the First Division? Or were you in the Second this time? Or maybe the Fourth? Where the hell have you been all month?" Your words come out angrier than you expected and you hope you can blame it on the exhaustion.

He sighs. "I know, I know, I've been gone. I just figured maybe we needed some space to figure things out."

"Space? Soshiro- we just started dating, I thought we were in our honeymoon phase and then you ghost me for a month and show up out of the blue on my birthday like you haven't been absent??" This time you do snap and you hope he can hear how bitter you are. What the hell kind of excuse did he have for this mess?

"Well I thought you wouldn't miss me!" He exclaims, throwing his hands up like it's your fault. "Not when you have other men to keep you company." He jabs.

You scoff. "Um excuse me?? What other men, Soshiro? Are you accusing me of cheating on you? Because that's real low when you're the one that's been gone."

He starts to sweat, thinking maybe he might've misunderstood the situation. "Well... well what about that guy that was at your apartment a month ago? I saw him leaving your apartment. You said you loved him."

You stare at him for a moment.

His face flushes and he looks down at the floor.

"So, not your secret husband then?"

You smack him on the head and he winces. "More like my brother. Dumbass."

He groans. "I am... so sorry."

"Is that seriously what this whole thing was about? You ignored me for a month because you thought I was secretly married to my brother?"

He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Um... yes?"

You smack his arm this time.

"Yeah okay I deserved that. But I brought you gifts? Please don't be mad at me?"

You yank the bags from his hands. "These better be damn expensive gifts- Hoshina." You enunciate his last name and he winces again at him losing first name basis with you.

You start sifting through the bags. You find jewelry, sweets, artwork, vinyls, scarves, hats, pretty much everything you've ever said you liked packed in four bags.

"Wh-what's all this?"

He laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, well. Thing is- I couldn't stop thinking about you the last month so I just bought you something every time I thought of you. Which was a lot. So. Happy Birthday."

Oh Soshiro you idiot. It was unfair how he could ignore you for a month and then say some cheesy line about how much he thought about you and you were ready to forgive him already.

"Fine. You're forgiven. But don't think you can buy your way into my heart next time. If you leave me again and run away to another division, I will drag you back here by your stupid ass bowlcut." You try your hardest to sound threatening but you can feel your heart softening already.

He smiles at you and you realize just how much you've missed seeing his smile.

"Now help me get this necklace on Soshiro."

[snixkers]

Bailed Out

Pairing: Elle Greenaway × Fem!Reader

Fluff/Minor Angst

For: requst by @lez-talk1 and @imagining-in-the-margins Pride Challenge!!!

Content Warnings: Cursing, internalized homophobia/biphobia, canon level violence, no physical descriptors

Summary: Elle has a crush on you. Elle doesn't want to.

Author's Note: Gotta get my sapphic representation innnnn for Elle. Also, whoever requested this, I'm so sorry, it was lost in the comments. Enjoy!!!

Feedback is always welcome!

Requests are OPEN!

Elle Greenaway knew she was fucked.

She had been held hostage, shot, traumatized, and more in her years at the BAU. But by far, the worst thing was her crush on you.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your smile lit up a room, and your confidence made her feel better by association. But when she realized that the feelings were more than just a like, she began to realize some things about herself.

She had a crush on a girl. And she was a girl. Did that make her a lesbian? She wasn't big on labels, but it didn't make sense. She could flirt with men, find them attractive, be interested in them romantically. Could she do both?

Something about saying that she liked girls was scary. Not that she cared if other people did, but it was herself. She liked girls.

Maybe she was just jealous and dealing with issues after the Fisher King.

Easier to do that than actually mention anything to you.

Which worked well for a couple months, until those feelings started to get stronger. It was no longer that she liked a girl, she was in love with a girl. Which was a whole new can of worms she was not opening.

Every single time you two would get paired up on a case, she would stare longingly at you to the point where Hotch offered time off because he believed she was disassociating.

It was a stupid little crush, and it was getting out of hand. She had to do something about it sooner rather than later.

Elle, headstrong and unable to tackle her emotions properly, walked up to you after the majority of people had gone home and tapped on your back.

"Hey, can we talk?"

You spun around, and it nearly knocked her on her ass just how much you made her day better. All her previous ideas about asking you out or maybe accusing you of some type of witchcraft immediately dissipated.

"Um, do you need more coffee?"

You shook your head, putting in your headphones and turning back to your computer.

"All set."

"Yeah, no problem. Sorry for bothering you."

So Elle Greenaway, who had stared down killers and rapists, fled back to her desk with her tail between her legs.

The second time she tried to ask you out, it was during a movie that Garcia and Reid had dragged everyone along to. The seats were scattered for convenience, and some sick deity* had placed the two of you together.

*Garcia

She spent the entire movie nervously fidgeting, considering asking for another bathroom break before realizing you might think three meant she was having a medical episode.

So she sucked it up, basking in your sweet perfume and the high of sitting next to you. During the credits, you were both getting up when some sick deity** forced her to bump into you. You held onto her arms to steady yourself, and Elle did something incredibly stupid.

**not Garcia

She leaned forward and kissed you before promptly turning around and walking out of the theater.

The next week was tense and uncomfortable, but she made sure there wasn't any chance of another one-on-one.

She didn't try to ask you out a third time. After the movie theater disaster, why should she?

Clearly it wasn't meant to be. She had enough emotional baggage to fill the overhead bins of the BAU jet. It would be better to forget about the whole thing.

But you had different plans.

After a week of avoidance, you walked up to her desk with a purpose, and she immediately panicked. Before she could apologize profusely (since when did she apologize?), you had kissed her.

Oh.

"There, now we're even. But if you want to do me a favor, you could come get dinner with me tonight."

Oh.

"Um, sounds great. I'll just, uh, get my stuff."

Now she sounded like Reid. Dammit. She watched you walk away with a satisfied smile, sighing to herself.

Elle Greenaway liked girls. She liked you. She was getting used to it, but she could definitely get used to you.

[whiteskullofroses]

Baldwin IV of Jerusalem x physician!reader

(Before any of you get mad this is about Baldwin from Kingdom of Heaven not the actual historical figure.)

🩷Imagine Baldwin receiving the medication for leprosy along with a new physician who has to see his face for the first time and makes him feel comfortable about it🩷

"Y/N Y/L/N, is that who you must be?" Sibylla questioned. You had just been preparing to leave for the Palace, in which you'd be treating the King when she rode up to you with her horse. Her confidence amazed you, after all she was quite beautiful.

"Yes, my lady." Looking up at her with a bit of a struggle, since it was a hot summer day, the Sun was high up in the sky causing your eyes to burn when gazing up at her.

"Good. Follow me." She ordered and waited a short while for you to straddle your horse as well. You named your horse Sihara. You felt the need to do so as she was always with you on your travels. You were blessed with the privilege of having a loyal horse, tying her to a tree to avoid losing her was unnecessary. She simply never left you.

After you two left, there was another 15 minutes before you'd arrive to the Palace because the city was heavily crowded. Neither of you spoke much, from time to time Sibylla would as you questions regarding your medical career. It was reasonable of course. Her brothers life, whom she loved regardless his illness, was now at your hands.

This put a great amount of pressure on you. If anything went wrong, the people would kill you. She and her fellow men and women of power would hunt you down no matter for how long you'd hide.

But what could go wrong? All you had to do was apply cream on his open wounds for about 3 months until they'd heal and you'd go on with your life.

~.................~

"This way." Sibylla pointed to a long corridor with two guards standing at each side. There was another hallway on the right before you'd finally arrive to your patient.

The walk was filled with anxiety. You could feel your stomach twisting inside out with every step you took. You've saved many many lives and have helped many many people to gain back their health but this time it felt like it was your first time in the medical field. Like it was your first time keeping one on this Earth.

Maybe it was because this was your first time treating royalty?

But when you reached the doorway and saw the king sitting with his back to you, all worries went away. In a weird way, you could feel his calming and peaceful energy from afar, telling you 'everything will be alright.'

You weren't sure how to announce your presence in the room, but thankfully the King heard you walking and was about to make that clear.

"Come forward." His voice loud and clear. The way he carried himself, as though he wasn't sick fascinated you and had you admire him deeply.

He turned around on his chair to have a look at you, as you bowed.

"No do not kneel." Surprised, you got back up and straightened your back. "I'm glad to meet (your father's name)'s daughter. He was a great friend of my father's"

Baldwin got up from his chair and started walking closer to you. "The Saracens say that this disease is God's vengeance against the vanity of our kingdom." He chuckled and added: "My guesses are you are to remedy this so-called curse casted upon me."

"Certainly, my lord." You gave an innocent half smile and nodded.

The king turned his head towards a table: "Come, sit."

As you walked closer you noticed there was displayed the popular game amongst men of power all over the world. Chess.

The two of you sat down, a servant served you wine and than the serious conversation began: "Y/N, I must ask this. How is the healing process going to affect my duties?"

"Not at all." You answered with much confidence. "All I have to do is apply the medicine on your wounds and areas that have in general been infected the most." Explaining to him as Baldwin leaned forward, signaling for you to go on: "This should last approximately 2 to 3 months."

You could sence that he was nervous. After all he was still so young and probably still insecure about his features, as much as someone with a disease that disfigures you can be.

"My lord, you can trust me. Worrying is out of the question here, after all I've been in the medical field all my life. I promise to you I won't let you down." Your words were full of pure determination to save him, they cut so deep into his heart in the best way possible he could just tear up.

~.................~

As you were mixing up the cream that was soon ready to be applied, the tension in the room was indescribable. Baldwin layed on the bed almost unmoving.

His upper body and legs were exposed. What you could see from the start was that his left arm was most infected, than any other body part.

Besides that he still had his mask on, which he would have to remove at some point to get the full healing process done.

The medicine was prepared. You put on your gloves and went to work.

"My lord, if you feel any discomfort during this, please warn me immediately." You stated.

He nodded and even though you couldn't see it because of the mask, the young man was blushing. So far all his personal physicians were males, and since he was sick he was never really touched by a woman in the slightest, besides his mother when he was younger, so of course he was flustered.

You applied the cream firstly on his left arm, being extra careful and waiting for any signs of nausea from the king. Sometimes treating people who have been infected with leprosy can be quite a pain since vomiting and dizziness are common side effects. Luckily the king was doing just fine and in silence you slowly applied the cream all over him. Except his face.

"My lord, may you now remove your mask please?" You smiled softly at him, really trying to get the young king to get comfortable around you since you'd be doing this for 3 months together.

"Is it necessary?" He hesitated. Feelings of shame and insecurity flooded his mind. He never let anyone see his full face, especially not a young woman whom he learned love to gossip around since his sister and her friends used to do it for as long back as he can remember. But this time it was different, and you wanted him to understand so badly: "I understand you may not feel comfortable doing so, but trust me I wish the best for you. To have this treatment the most affective it can be, I'll need to apply it on your face too." You explained as gently as you could.

After a moment, he did it. And he looked beautiful. His face was decorated with a pair of blue eyes and soft locks of golden hair. His face was of course infected, he didn't have a nose and there appeared to be a quite litteral hole in his right cheek but you didn't care. He was handsome no one could deny that.

So you smiled and commented: "My lord, I really can't comprehend why you were so afraid."

He looked up at you, who was now slowly smearing the medicine on his face.

"Is it really that hard to understand?" He sighed.

"My lord, you look just as handsome as any. Infected or not. You are someone young men should look up to. A true God's warrior."

He took a deep breath in, smelling the healing herbs on him.

When you turned around, he shed a tear.

THE END.

[provincara]

HOW could i forget the pronunciation tip scene 😭

as for his list: yes good start. would perabo have made it on their by this point? i can't remember when all his scenes were. and what about de lancey and tippideaux? again not sure on the timeline, also just not sure in general his feelings about them. i think there's a decent chance japhra is on there too

it's so interesting bc in this scene phaedra latched onto the fact that quintana came to her specifically and it focuses on their relationship, but it's really big for froi and phaedra's relationship as well. like we rarely (if ever???) got to see froi and phaedra interact before he left for charyn but she (and her kindness!!!) made such an impression on him that he chose to trust her

[avo-gal]

Varigo villian au lore (pt2?? Ig?)

Soz this took longer than expected lol.

So originally I had two ways for varigo to meet but this is the one I ended up liking more.

Varian

In this au when Rapunzel frees Quirin that was sort of Varian's breaking point bc Quirin didn't survive the Amber. Quirin possibly being alive and things going back to normal was the only hope Varian had left without that he.. lost it to keep it short. Andrew tries to work his way back in and Varian practically freaks out and kills him. Whether it was intentional or not he's still not sure. But a part of him that sick twisted part enjoyed it. So now his mission is to kill all those that cross him and in doing so rise to power. Varian in this au is (for lack of a better word) very insane. He's kinda similar to jinx from arcane? Except less childish. He's like a mix between Jinx and Silco personality wise.

Hugo

Hugo meanwhile is still a thief. He finds the abandoned village of old Corona and decides to raid one of the few remaining houses for any goods. That house was old and messy. The rooms were filled with blueprints, designs, lab equipment, tools, metal, etc. Hugo is fascinated with these designs and is a good engineer. that's when a raven haired boy sees him and initially freaked out and is about to kill him (which he's kinda into cause like damn). But Hugo is able to schmooze his way out of that with a good ol "I hate the rich. You hate the rich. We should kiss- I MEAN build these robots and weapons and take over the kingdom together!" Over the course of about a year (more or less) Varian and Hugo build everything and take over (it actually wasn't too hard). Hugo in this au isn't too different from his regular self. He's more energetic however and isn't afraid to get gorey. He is def a masochist in this au lol. Whilst Varian does constantly give him opportunities to have the same level of power as him Hugo never takes it. One reason is he does want the responsibility another may be that he likes being below Varian.

Varigo

Over all Varigo have a sort of situationship? They'll refer to the other as their partner, boyfriend, fiance, etc. But their relationship is very toxic. I wouldn't say manipulative exactly more power hungry? Or fear fueled? They do care very deeply abt the other (since they are the only ones that care abt the other) and if U hurt one of them the other wouldn't hesitate to kill you. But they often threaten each other physically and emotionally (and not always in a playful way). Hugo on the outside seems like he's only in the relationship for the money and sex and Varian seems like he's only in it for reassurance and weaponry. But they both have common interests and are almost unstoppable when they work as a team. There are a lot of layers to both of them the closest couples I can think of to reference them to is stolitz more so in the earlier seasons and maybe Harley Quinn and the Joker? I'm not very good at explaining their relationship but they are very fun to write lol.

Donella

I haven't given Donella much thought in this au. I think after finding out Hugo has taken over Corona with Varian she tries working with them offering her men and resources.

TTS Cast (may change)

Rapunzel, Cass, Eugene and the others have a sort of rebellion in the snuggly duckling. I haven't thought too much magic hair wise but I think Raps has lost her powers by now so they have a very low chance of winning. The current state of this au is abt a year after Vat7k would have happened.

Someone asked on the last post if I plan on writing a fic for this au.

The answer is not currently no. If I did write a fic for this I would want to have more planned out and there's alot in this au I'm still not sure abt. If it got enough attention or if someone also wanted to write a fic I might do a couple's one shots just to sort of show the characters and how they act in this au. But for now I'm prob just gonna stick with occasionally posting abt it. As I said if it gets enough attention or if I come up with more for the au then I might do something big or post more often abt it.

Okay byeee U guys are amazing make sure U eat today <33

🥗🍟🍕🧁

[fairyk133]

Jason Blackwell

Minor facts:

Has a southern accent, just like Ruth!

People assume he dates Ruth since they are or touchy and too friendly.

Gets his validation from girls who say love him (they really don’t..)

Ruth tutors him sometimes, then Joetta began to do it since they started dating

Made out with at least the entire female population (kinda joking)

The jocks don’t like him because he is the one who get caught being with their girlfriends.

Respects woman actually, just a hopeless romantic.

Dads a drunk, mom died when he was around 10, was a mamas boy.

Likes 70-80s men’s wear.

Plans to be the star a Soccer star

Used to have a serious crush on Ruth but it stopped because he respected their friendship. (But he was very catty and mean towards Smith when she dated him, he’s very petty…)

He's seen as one of the most attractive boys in Bullworth.

Pregame Jason gets jealous when Ruth was dating people

He’s passive aggressive, to the point it’s annoying

He can be mean or vile with the right motivation

Ruth gave him a golden moon necklace, some of the jocks tried to mock him saying he looks “gay”, he doesn’t care, he loves the necklace.

Gets violently angry when he sees his teammates failing or make dumb mistakes even if it’s so simple.

School Titles:

Pretty boy—Damon, Juri, Kirby

Cowboy—Lola, Mandy, Christy

White Snake— The whole Jocks

Field’s Angel— Burton

Prince Charming—Pinky, Beatrice

Clique Relationships:

Jocks: People confuse him for a jock because he plays soccer and is the talk of the school along with Ruth, being called the,”Feild’s Angels”. He’s actually a non-clique student who just tired of being poor. Mandy Wiles had altercations with him, she actually did end up actually falling for him, but because shes together with Ted it sparked some drama…Ted found out and punched him. And this was before Jason and Ruth became male and female best friends. (You see where I’m going with this? If you read Ruth’s post first you’d see how Ted knew.) He genuinely thought he could be with Mandy and be happy together, but his actual dislike for her actually started when he found out what nickname Mandy had given Ruth, to the point Ruth had to sew up the slit of her skirt and wear cardigans over her body. He began to pick up Ruth’s “Purity complex”. He would wrap his jacket over her bottom and waist, he was always a gentleman towards her. He lashed out on Mandy verbally, defending Ruth’s behalf and left her. The male jocks give him some respect because he runs the show in soccer. (Present time Ruth left the soccer club). He also protects some of the nerds from Juri, along with Dan and a few others which doesn’t make his rep high either. Some of the jocks tried to not consider him a real man, because he’s, “too pretty” (which means he’s too much of the female gaze fantasy.)

Bullies: Either wary of him or just try to fight him, maybe jealous of him.

Nerds: Earnest does try to tell his gang no to mess with him because he’s friends with Ruth, but Ruth and Jason help the nerds out so they get respect. Beatrice does develop a crush on him, and some of the guys do respect him because he’s a genuinely a kind person.

Greasers: They don’t trust him around Lola, and if we are being honest- Jason maybe a little dumb, but isn’t that dumb, if Lola even tries to flirt with him he will run the opposite direction, he doesn’t wanna get his pretty face bruised all over again, his dad and the jocks did that enough. He’s sick of it. But, they give minor respect because he knows his place and does get some advice from Ricky in shop class.

Preps: They didn’t interact with him that much, but I forget to mention Parker was on the same soccer team with Ruth and him. And since they were rumors Ruth and Jason being more than friends, which weren’t true. He kinda got some jealous towards him, especially when he was dating Ruth. When Ruth was geeking out about a novel Jason bought her, Parker got annoyed and was like, “so what? When we get married I’ll buy who a whole library!” He was sick of it. Jason doesn’t like Parker because he suck ASS in soccer, HORRIBLE, it pisses him off to a great altitude. Pinky admitted to liking him but you guessed it, it didn’t work out, plus he hates people who are out of touch with humanity. Only get small amount respect, because Gord and Justin see him as a… “upright citizen”…for a poor boy, since he has a future ahead of him.

Townies: Sine he gets into fights with his drunken father, he usually hanged near the townies for support and and let him sleep at their hideout. They would see him passed out (from underage drinking) and being roughed up, they have seen him have mental break downs and the worse of him. They support his dreams of being a world soccer player.

Outfit Models:

Based off of/ Mentality:

Carl— Shameless

Sodapop— The Outsiders

Ponyboy— The Outsiders

[squib-2006]

So I’ve finally got some of my thoughts on the new season in order and letting my self sit on it for a while

Dragons rising season 2 spoilers!!!!!

So first off holy shit this season has managed to completely wipe out any fears I had for season two. I’m a generally anxious person and am pretty naturally pessimistic about most things and was pretty anxious about season 2 because from the stuff shown in trailers and promotional vids it looked like a “Lloyd chosen one” plot line and I have a history of hating that kinda thing because it’s been beaten to death in ninjago at this point. While a bit of that was there I found it was done quite tastefully and didn’t overwhelm everything else story wise.

I felt that the pacing of the first 6-7ish episodes was a bit all over the place. Having the training arc and the Cole-Zane plot lines happen in the same episode with the pov switching back in forth felt a little bit off to me.

Sora and arins character arcs are shaping up to be pretty good. Soras more confident in her self than season one and she’s trying to help Arin but I feel like the whole using her elemental power to help Arin will backfire into her face. Arin’s insecurity and the whole how can I be useful if I don’t have an element I fell is being handled way better than the dumb kai arc in season 11(dw I will get to that when I get to kai) and it’s about on par with the Lloyd powerless plot from hunted. I am really excited to see what they do next and if Arin will be really mad at sora or not cuz like he’s super nice and stuff and I fell like he would be sad instead of mad.

Nya didn’t really have a lot going on personally except the stuff with Jay which I’m iffy on because so much of Nyas character in older seasons revolved around Jay and I just hope they don’t go back to that and let her character breath a bit.

In the topic of Jay I really really REALLY hope he isn’t evil. That the idea because it’s really out of character and they are already pushing my buttons with the lost memory crap because that’s something that I’ve rarely seen done well at all and it makes me very nervous and I just don’t like it. I do like that Jay just seems to be a guy who hates his job tho that’s fun.

I think the writers are just having fun with Zane and I think that’s cool. I do wanna punch the administration guy who said Zane isn’t a person because he is and he’s a bean and I will not allow this nobody to slander him.

It was nice to see more of Cole this season. I swear him and geo are so cute. The hand holding and the fact that they basically adopted two kids together is amazing and I am fully on board for this ship.

The villans were really interesting. I hope they keep up the quality with them because the mystery of ras’ master and wtf happened with jordana is really exciting. Cinder was intresting and as someone who has no interest in men what so ever I am kinda baffled at why so many people want this man but hey you do you. I do wonder what happened to ash tho. The member of the forbidden five looks interesting too and part of me is hoping that the leaked “evil jay” minifig is actually this guy just powered up cuz the color palette is similar enough and I just don’t want an evil jay.

Wyldfyre is amazing her whole leg being broken then sneaking on the ship to the exasperation of kai (like he would totally have pulled something like this a few seasons ago the hypocrite <3) and the others was so good. I am curious about her talk with egalt she mentioned one of her family members getting the wasting sickness but it can’t be heat wave cuz he seems fine so maybe she had more than one dragon guardian??? I do hope that Kai’s portal abduction does affected going into part 2 and that she bonds with nya and the others over it.

Egalt and rontu were very interesting to me and I’m glad they didn’t go the route of them being the actual creators of spinjitzu and kept the lore consistent I was slightly worried about that. Hope they come back in part 2 too.

Bonzle was a big surprise for me. I likes her personality in season 1 but I didn’t expect her to be so important. She’s really sweet and the scene with wu was great too.

And finally last but definitely not least, the best character in this entire show and my favorite comfort character to beat the shit out of

KAI

IT WAS SO FREAKING GOOD. I LITERALLY HAVE NOT BEEN THIS HAPPY WITH AN EPISODE SINCE SEASON 4 EPISODE 7 THE FORGOTTEN ELEMENT (iykyk) I was literately kicking my feet like a little girl and crying and screaming my head off to the point I woke up other family members. Him unlocking the rising dragon technique by having his sister help and being in harmony with his family is so fucking sweet and I cried like a little bitch it was so good. I am also so happy that they used his old hair and didn’t just slap a smaller version of his current hair onto him (tho I kinda wish they had used the fucked up custom hair that was in the older episodes but I doubt that model is even in their hands so whatever(side side note I love the fucked up hair so much it’s so stupid I love it and will forever miss it)) him being such a dad to wyld fire was so sweet and then using the rising dragon technique after he saw his family in danger was just perfect. I do kinda wish there was more of a dramatic reaction to him getting yeeted by ras into the portal (kinda like any of the other ninja “deaths/major injuries”) but im fine with what we got. Except I kinda hate that only nya has an outward reaction in the aftermath. No lloyd reaction no Cole reaction and nothing from Zane and it makes me mad because every other time a ninja had their moment there was a whole team reaction. But I’m feeling like that’s to nitpicky and there’s still ten more episodes to fix that so fingers crossed. But kai also encouraging bonzle to close the portal even if he’s trapped inside is such a kai thing and hit me like a truck. Also him calling bonzle kid dispite her being much much older than him is funny and sweet cuz Kai’s big brother/father figure side is coming through and it’s so sweet. And the ninja never quit line is so great I was sobbing even more after that. (Tho I don’t know why he said he got it from Lloyd when it would have made more sense to have it be from master wu cuz that’s where he learned it but eh whatever).

While im really happy about kai finally getting some well deserved angst im also very anxious about it too. This could be the perfect opportunity for the writers to just conveniently forget about him for a while and idk if i could sit through that. Kai is a huge part of why I watch ninjago and he’s always been handed the shortest stick character development wise and technically he never got his own focus season either (and no i dont count the pilots because that focused mainly on all the ninja and was only two episodes, i also don’t count season four because it was more a group season, and season 11 doesn’t count because he got a half baked b plot that sucked) I’m very worried that I will loose enjoyment in the show because I dropped the show out of disappointment after season 11 because A LOT of premonitional material made it seem like a kai season and I got my hopes up and was let down so much. I’m very cautious when getting excited about things involving kai in particular because of that and I’m just hoping the writers don’t fuck it up.

Ok that’s enough negativity for once. I’m so excited for more and am foaming at the mouth for more!

[necrotic-nephilim]

Give me your most controversial dc opinions!!!

HA YES GLADLY I WOULD LOVE TO (added a read more because i had a lot of words oopsie)

The Titans Tower Incident was in character for Jason Todd. at worst, it's a *bit* over-dramatic and a little cringey, but if you consider his actions, his motivations, and what he *actually* does, i honestly don't think it's OOC for him. he's just kind of a dramatic asshole in that era and i stand by that comic. the issue isn't the comic itself, it's how people interpret it.

i think the DC fandom, specifically the Batfamily fandom, really likes to claim to be progressive for brownie points, but then will have the one token woman that everyone decides is acceptable to hate. like, it's one thing if you dislike Carrie Kelley, i get it. Frank Miller isn't a great writer of women and she can be a lack of a character in the original Dark Knight Returns. but if you go out of your way making constant edits and posts shitting on her, it's *weird*. especially when most of the people shitting on her haven't even consumed her source, and their reasons for disliking her can apply to any other Robin, especially Tim. but as long as you put say, Steph or Cass on a pedestal, you can talk on and on about how you want to kill Carrie for the crime of existing. it feels like acceptable misogyny. i also think this extends to writers. if you put say, Gail Simone on a pedestal, you're free to blame everything under the sun on Devin Grayson. (to be clear i think you can and should hate Devin Grayson for a lot of things, but most rumors about her are untrue and if you look at every badly written comic and go "sounds like something Devin Grayson would write" that's really weird bc everything she's done, men like Chuck Dixon, Tom King, Tom Taylor, Marv Wolfman, etc have done in tenfold.) like, misogyny = bad unless it's That One Woman We've All Agreed To Hate. it's weird and i keep noticing it. and no one seems to unpack it. (i mostly see this on TikTok, not Tumblr tbf)

i don't care if you ship BruDick or not, but it's not weird for canon content to imply or state Dick had a crush on Bruce when he was first taken in. even in canon where Dick sees Bruce as a "father figure" in the most generous sense, that bond took years to build and when Dick was freshly orphaned, he *had* the memory of loving parents and didn't want Bruce to fill that role. you don't have to ship BruDick, you don't even have to like batcest, but if you're vitriolic toward just the idea that "hey maybe a young kid on the cusp of puberty might have some weird feelings to work out about the canonically very attractive mysterious playboy who took him in before seeing him as family because that bond took years to build" is nasty and terrible and wrong to you, you don't like the Batfamily, you just like the nuclear "neat" version of it in your head

the Batfamily characters are *all* too hypercompetent. like all of them are just *too* good at what they do that in order to write them in interesting arcs together, you have to willingly make some of them OOC in order to not immediately have the Problem wrapped up. i get it, Bruce is the greatest detective, Tim is wicked smart, Jason's a heavy hitting brawler, but we've reached a point where all of these characters have so many buffs they're not *fun* anymore. especially not in a group setting where you need to justify them needing each other's help. and even worse-so when they interact outside of the Gotham, you end up making every non-Batfam character seem useless just to make the Batfamily look cool. it's exhausting. i want to see these characters lose fights, look stupid, and not be the best for once. they're all getting so good they're just kind of. boring. which is the worst sin for a character, IMO.

i think we should go like. a good year of all Justice League-related teams not having a single Bat on the roster. just as a cleanse so *someone else* can shine. i get why non-Batfam DC fans are sick of the Batfamily bc jesus. it's oversaturation of the market.

power scaling "who would win" fights are fucking boring and i don't care. that's the least interesting thing about the fandom. you're missing the point of all of these characters if you only care about who could win a brawl. also it's just a stupid debate because the answer will *always* be: whoever the author of the comic wants to win.

the Batfamily is too damn big. i love every single one of them do not get me wrong. i'd die for the little niche characters who are likely never going to be relevant again like Julia Pennyworth or Kate Spencer. but it's too fucking big at this point. it's insisted to us that these characters are family but like. half of them have barely existed on the same page together more than once. it's ridiculous and it cannot sustain itself. none of these characters are allowed proper shine because they'll just get dropped for the next new shiny character. i think Maps Mizoguchi is a cool lil lady, but i know in my soul in like. three years she will fade into comics limbo and we'll have a new shiny character to fawn over. it's a brutal cycle bc DC doesn't know how to give any of these characters follow through, just wants to wave around cool new concepts.

both Under The Red Hood and Death In The Family are mediocre adaptations and strip the most important emotional elements of Jason's story from the plot. you can't properly adapt Jason's death if you leave his mother out of it. like they're phenomenal movies as their own pieces of media, but they lack the necessary emotional weight for Jason.

on the note of adaptations: the Young Justice cartoon is i think the best case study of "how do you react to a piece of media that's amazing on it's own, but is a fucking horrible adaptation?" because like, i can't discredit it. it's a good show. but it's a bad adaptation and i think people using it as an entry point for DC can make their views of certain characters and teams *very* warped. the Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey movie falls into a similar vein for me. if that movie was it's own thing with original characters, it'd likely be a top five movie for me. but because it's *such a fucking bad adaptation* i can't help but hate it for brutalizing the characters and the general concept of the BoP. it should've been a Gotham Sirens movie, and Young Justice should've been a Teen Titans show. and sure, adaptations don't owe us accuracy, but they have negative effects on the comics when they gain popularity. so i struggle to like Young Justice bc of how badly it's affected certain characters.

also on the note of adaptations: the best adaptation of how comic media operates is the Sandman tv show. adapting comics to tv shows or movies is difficult bc comic arcs don't operate the way show/movie arcs do, but the Sandman show proves it's absolutely doable to adapt the storytelling style while still making the typical adjustments you need for an adaptation.

DC needs more Deaf representation. in most areas, DC either matches Marvel or outperforms Marvel with representation of marginalized identities, but it's fucking tragic we have no deal Deaf rep in DC whereas Marvel has quite a few to pick from. this one is personal bc i'm Deaf but it does fuck me up the only option we have is a side character from Tim Drake: Robin who doesn't appear anywhere else and isn't a great character overall. DC i'm in your walls.

on the note of representation, if i see one more person say Titans had "perfect casting" while in the same breath admitting Dick was whitewashed, you are weird and i dislike you. it's really fucking weird that whitewashing is permissable to this fandom if the actor cast/fancast is hot. Dick should've been a Roma actor. Damian should not be fancast as a white actor. it's the bare minimum.

i have so many more but i will end with this especially controversial one: Dan Mora's art is overhyped. that man has the worst same face syndrome i've ever seen and i will not lie half the time i can't tell which Robin he's drawing. his art is technically gorgeous and it's so pretty to look at, but begging for every comic series to be drawn by him is boring and terrible. the art style of a comic reflects it's genre. wanting all comic art to look like Dan Mora's art is sucking the style out of comics. i miss art styles like Todd Nauck's that clearly reflected the genre of the comic.

i lied i have one more i'm REALLY passionate about: Tim's vigilante name after Red Robin should not be bird-themed. naming him Sparrow or Cardinal is *just* as bad as naming him Red Robin longterm. they're *just* as derivative and they *sound* cool but don't hold any real unique identity for Tim outside of Robin. like it baffles me we all agree he needs to move on from Robin and then decided "let's name him Robin Lite". if he has a bird name, it should be Jackdaw so at the very least, he's not red anymore. and Jackdaw could be a fun callback to Drake, in that it uses part of Tim's real name (his middle name, Jackson) while standing out a bit. but if i really had creative control i'd give him a completely unique name. if it has to be Batfamily related, Gray Ghost. but in my head, his name should be Conspiracy. i could write a lengthy meta on why and tbh it is based in my love for the Question and wanting Tim to have a similar detective noir-esque gritty solo, but i genuinely don't think he should be Cardinal or Sparrow. those names only continue his identity issues of being trapped as either Robin or a Robin knockoff.

[lucianinsanity]

My Epic: The Musicals thoughts, after listening to every song in repeat for days now:

The horse and The infant:

Odysseus calling his men "my brothers", this is important

"Slaaay~"

God let me fight too

Penelope part keeps killing me, Telemachus 😭, the feelings, the fact that he also responds with their names when they are talking about why they keep fighting

Fighting noises ☺️

Zeus you bitch

The first "I don't think you're ready" is said without context, but the second one is a response to Odysseus saying he is ready (he wasn't btw)

The fact that he says "The Gods will let him know" and "This is the will of The Gods", like, leave him alone 😭

Just a Man:

Evil to start saying the baby reminds him of his own son

He is so against this I swear

First few "I'm just a Man" he wants so bad to justify not doing it

Ugh

People already said it but the double meaning, asking when the baby would become someone who destroys his life, and asking if he becomes a monster if he kills the baby

I always thought the first line sounded like "please" and then two "forgive me" but it seems to be three "forgive me" instead, which is not bad, I'm just bad at hearing stuff

The high notes, leave me alone dude

The last "I'm just a Man", justifying his actions instead of his inaction

Full Speed Ahead:

"Six hundred man!" I'm so sorry

"Full speed ahead" sounds so sweet and hopeful

Eurylochus's name being chanted by the men and Polites only being mentioned by Odysseus, something about the men having their trust in the people they mention or whatever, I don't know, the fact that Polites name is much closer to Odysseus because he is the one that says it

He is so hopeful, Polites I'm so sorry

Odysseus is suspicious, but still hopeful

Open Arms:

I'm not the biggest fan of this one, sounds too happy, which is the point but I don't know, sorry Polites

He is trying so hard to make Odysseus feel better, man he just killed a baby 😭

Some of the voices of the Lotus Eaters are low, this is important to me for no reason (the lyrics in Spanish call them Lotófagos, I love that)

Odysseus common, this people are being so nice

Delayed "scary cave" ugh

His voice is so high

"there's so much guilt inside your heart" oh Polites, I wish he could relax, he has Six Hundred Men to feed 😔

Warrior of the mind:

Athena please

This song starts slower than in the middle, I like those parts better just because of the change of pace, she's so serious

"Let me remind you" with so much authority

That change with "Maybe one day he'll follow me" is weird to my brain

Back to slow with Odysseus

Someone mentioned that Athena could just be encouraging Odysseus and not actually falling for the bluff, which makes sense, she's The goddess of Wisdom

Odysseus little laugh, oh that's not something that we hear often

"Athena!" Choir

"Okay 😔"

Also Athena singing one way and then adopting the way Odysseus sings "mind" showing she's also learning from him and even keeps singing that way when is only her voice

They are "we" 🥺

"Don't disappoint me"

Also, in Spanish is Atenea, which makes it really difficult to only call her Athena, give her more letters

Polyphemus

Entering someone house leading with an arrow, always a good idea (sarcasm)

Odysseus being suspicious and being right again

"Hey there!" Baby no

Oh dang, I never understood the lines of the beginning of Polyphemus singing, there are so good, drinking their blood, man I love him

Odysseus singing in this one is so nice, I keep repeating that part "There's been a misunderstanding!" I love you dude

The drums 🥺

The "nobody" is so nice to my ears

Bad deal

Survive:

I have bad news, title of the song

Chanting of names, important

"My brothers" he trusts them so much, he knows this men, he knows how to talk to them

They are alone, the rest didn't know ☹️

"And when we kill him then our journey's over" ☹️ and all the lines after that

Solid strategy

"It's just one life to take" makes me a little sick

Oh the fucking build up

They didn't take that into consideration

Oh the fact that they ask him for instructions since he always led them to success and he is frozen in place, he doesn't sing, he doesn't talk, please why?

"then my pain is over" is so sad if you think about it for too long

Remember them:

The fact that it starts with the voice of Eurylochus sounding so far away like Odysseus is just now coming back to reality

He sounds so so sad and out of it

And yet he still tries to lead them and save them, he sounds like he is chocking a little bit and the words are hard

There's no proper burial, their souls are doomed

He is also so angry

Oh I hate eye stuff, less favorite part

They just start running out of there, poor things

"There are more of them?" With fear, and Odysseus just waits, he knows what's coming

"Don't go!" Is also so sad

Athena please, she's right but Odysseus is feeling so guilty and bad about this whole shit

Dumbass

My goodbye:

I love this one

They are both heartbroken about this, Athena in a different way

She was expecting better of "just a man"

Odysseus, arguing with a god, good job dude

They hurt each other, Athena is right, again, but bad moment to do all this

Right before going into the ocean too, good job, both of you

Storm

One of my favorites

It feels exactly how it should, stormy

"This storm's our final fight" ... First half of the first half of the story

Brace for a storm

STORM!

"Full speed ahead" this time with more authority, they are fighting now

Eurylochus you are not helping with that attitude 😔

Odysseus is so confident, or maybe too hopeful, he is not thinking too well either, probably

And then they did what he said

Luck runs out:

I always forget this one exist 🤦

"we don't know for sure" what do you mean? Really, what else could be in THE ISLANDS FLOATING ABOVE YOUR HEAD? The god of cheese?

Good plan, Odysseus 🤦

The show already went south baby

Do you, Odysseus? Or are you just sad?

Common he literally led you to victory so many times, have a little faith in the man

Again, the men are chanting what Eurylochus says, he is also a man they trust

Keep your friends close:

He is taking the "greet the world with open arms" way too far

Oh no Odysseus

The choir it's not making this easy for him

They just went behind his back spreading that it was treasure, like, why would he keep a treasure anyways?

Nine days keeping that damn bag closed ☹️

"Time for me to be the father I never was" 😔

"Just keep your eyes open" oh no Odysseus

Stoooorm!

Again, Eurylochus, just help the man

Oh no, Odysseus

Ruthlessness:

If you had doubts about who this was there's a choir singing his name in the first few seconds

He was being very gracious with them

"No" = I fucked up so bad right now

The "false righteousness" is a very sad line, because he thought so bad that he was doing the right thing so many times

He already sounds fake as fuck when asking Odysseus to apologize, knowing he wasn't going to actually do it because Odysseus doesn't feel bad about what he did

The men screaming "Captain!" Took me long to notice (again, bad ears) and it's so heartbreaking

43 ☹️

With the lines from Just a Man and Remember Them coming back to kick this man ass

Puppeteer:

No rest for this guy, his second in command is doubting him, his men get trapped for trusting some random woman, he just lost so many of them

Circe sounds so nice

She's so nice

"All the power" 🥰

Odysseus is going to save the man that just sent him away from his home

He has to try

Wouldn't you like:

Number 1 song

I'm already bisexual, man (I'm aroace)

I don't have a lot to say, I love this song

Why does he do that with his voice?

His laugh 🥺

Twice the voice for him

"Don't thank me friend, you very well may die" 🥰

Done for:

He is so silly in this one

He has the help of one (1) god and he is another person

Circe doesn't like him at all

They are both trying to protect their people

Baby don't be like that, he is so damn confident and Circe is not having it

Their voices are good together

I mean she's right on not trusting people, and Odysseus did just get there with the intention to fight

"I'm not sure I follow" ndksksksksksk

There are other ways:

This one is sad

She is immediately on control of this situation, she's repeating lines from Puppeteer, she is making him into a pig (metaphorically)

"Don't break when" sounds a little rougher

"I'm just a man" oh no Odysseus, followed by the "Forgive me" SHUT UP, it's so fucking sad

Her voice when she repeats "when there's no puppet here"

"I miss my wife, Tails, I miss her a lot"

He won, and now he's begin 😭

She's so silly

I mean, she could have meant she was going to kill him, but that way seems a lot worse ☺️

High notes 🥺

The men coming back

The Underworld:

Also on the favorite list

The "good" of Odysseus is low, he was betrayed by them before, he needs them to do what he says this time, fuck

"All I hear are screams" 😭

You think they are seeing different things?

Shut up, "just a man" coming back

558

"Captain!" ☹️

Stop, the baby

"This life is amazing" ☹️

🙂

"Waiting..." Why do you hurt me like this?

"ALL I HEAR ARE SCREAMS" Yours?

No longer you:

I don't know if saying this one is one of my favorites helps anyone understand my taste

Odysseus you are smart, please

The prophet sounds so sad

"A man who is haunting, a man with a trail of bodies" is a heartbreaking description

Ah, prophesies, they always have a twist, sad stuff in them

Monster:

To "I'm just a man" to "I'll become the monster" with this simple trick

The people he mentions are weird, monsters and gods don't think in the same way as people who are protecting their friends and family, but whatever you say

I don't think he knows what balance is

The fact that Telemachus fits in the songs so well

Well, enough, that's it for now

[darcytaylor]

Luke has said he isn't the best at seeing himself and I actually agree with him. I think he belongs in comedy, his timing is perfect, even in emotionally loaded scenes ("But you'd already be dead" hello??? Willow scene? ded). I'm sick of male egos and needing to be seen as a Tough Guy™. What's the point of trying to turn him into Austin Butler when a) AB already exists and b) I personally don't like him? I'd much rather see Luke in roles than this Glenn Powell guy they keep trying to force down our throats. Give me more Manny Jacinto. At least Nick Galitzine and Leo Woodall are thriving, but they're also massive, athletic dudes. It's a self-perpetuating problem if they won't let men depict sensitivity.

Masculinity is evolving but the old men making the decisions in Hollywood won't let it happen on screen. It's a big reason why they have a male lead problem - they're refusing to adapt their concepts to the new reality because they're from a different era. Shonda is on to something, as she always is, but the rest of the industry won't catch on until it's too late. And tbh, men are always so desperate for the approval of their fellow men that they'll prioritize it over everything else. I feel like so many problems in society would be solved if men would let themselves (and each other) be soft.

I would love to see Luke in a comedy! But then I don't think I would mind seeing him in a darker role as well. I was thinking about what kind of darker roll I could picture him in. Maybe it's because I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I think if they ever do a reboot of it (there were talks), Luke could play an Angel type character. Angel was dark and broody (he was a vampire), while also being very soft (he had a soul). It's the best of both worlds. I think Luke could do well with that.

I do agree with you that the 'tough guy' thing is rooted in ego for men. Which then can lead to it being a stepping stone for toxic masculinity. It's very harmful for men and women.

And while I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look more 'tough' as an aesthetic, it's the actions that can follow that will inevitably cause the issues.

I think a lot men just don't understand the female gaze. While we are okay with looking at an attractive person, that's not what makes us swoon. It tends to be the emotional availability of the man that most women find attractive.

[seekcrs]

ᰍ̠ EPISODE 01 SALLIE HOUSE + INTRODUCTION EPISODE.

NOTES this episode is mainly an introduction so everyone can see how i'm planning to format + write this! i'm not a good writer, so please excuse grammar errors, spelling errors, overusing certain words, and anything that's out of order. i'm trying my best & that's really all i can do for now! thank you to everyone who signed up, i'll be reaching out to you in order of this list + i'm up to coming up with a good posting schedule, i don't want to post here too often & burn through the list too quickly but i don't want to just post every month or so, so maybe every 2 weeks? feel free to suggest posting times as well <3 FEATURING REYES and DOVE ( @dovectrl ) WARNINGS mentions of death + violence ( scratching, burning, biting, etc. ) WORD COUNT 2.8k

the video started with the camera pointing out of the open car window. the sky was dark and the camera's view was angled upward, capturing a clear shot of the moon. the only sound in the video was the wind as the car cruised. after a few moments, the camera was pulled back into the car, initially facing the dashboard for a minute before flipping around as a muffled laugh broke the silence.

"hello everyone!" reyes greeted, waving and smiling as he held the camera. "my variety show has finally been approved, so currently i'm in the car with my manager and a very special guest heading to our first location." he explained, placing the camera onto his lap. "before i introduce our guest for today, i think it'd be good if i informed everyone on our first location."

"today, our location is the very famous sallie house! several stories have seemed to float around over the years over why this small kansas house would be haunted and why a little girl named sallie is rumored to reside here." the idol leaned back in his seat, fixing his seatbelt over his shoulders while picking the camera up again, finally holding it steady.

"okay, so the first story, which is by far the most popular—oh, and by the way, none of this has ever been historically proven. there are no documents nor witnesses that can prove any of this happened; all we know is that it's very possible. anyway, before the house became 'haunted,' it is rumored that a doctor lived there. one day, he heard loud knocks on his door, only to be greeted by a woman holding her small child. according to the stories floating around, the woman was frantic and worried about her daughter who had been sick at the time. when the doctor took her in, he started examining her, finding out she had a ruptured appendix, and before he could start treating her, she ended up passing away."

there was a brief pause as reyes' phone screen lit up the very dim car as he turned it on. another pause of silence happened while he scrolled for a moment before the car dimmed again and reyes faced back at the camera. "the little girl is known as sallie, i'm guessing. everyone says that is her name, but once again, it's not been proven or documented ever."

he let out a small breath. "it's also rumored that this house isn't haunted by the presence of a little girl at all and actually harbors something much more sinister, which is supposed to be in the basement."

"this house is known for being rather violent at times, especially towards men, according to the homeowners. it's often said that people are scratched or even burned, and it's noted that random fires have been started at this location as well," he informs, trying to show indifference in his emotions, though it was evident he seemed a bit worried.

reyes remained quiet for a small moment, trying to ground himself again. "anyway, now that we've discussed all of that and we're almost to the house, i will introduce today's guest!"

the camera turned towards the backseats, a light illuminating the darkness, revealing the guest, dove of stray kids! the female idol had a bright smile on her face as she took the camera from reyes.

"hi everyone," she greeted, the bright smile not faltering for even a minute. "i'm very very excited to be here as the first guest on reyes' show—he's told me how long he'd been asking his company for it, so i hope everyone ends up supporting and enjoying it."

after the small talk session, the video cut and now the two idols were sitting on the couch of the sallie house. a blanket was thrown over the back of the couch and, overall, the house looked normal so far.

reyes stood from the couch, picking up the camera off the small table in front of them. he turned it towards dove. "are you scared at all?" he asked. "not really," dove replied without any hesitation, a confident smile spreading on her face. the younger idol just shook his head, turning the camera to give a better view of the first floor of the house.

the lights were still on as the camera moved from the couch to the entrance of the kitchen, to the stairs, and eventually landed on the front door. "which room do you want to start in?" reyes asked, turning the camera back towards dove, who happened to be standing over by the kitchen now, glancing around the room.

"the kitchen seems fine, let's turn off all the lights first though. the camera light should be good enough for now," dove suggested, already reaching for a light switch and flipping off all the lights the next second.

now that a majority of the lights were off in the house, the setting seemed slightly more eerie as the video continued on. reyes grabbed a bag with one hand, fighting to stabilize the camera in his other until dove came to take it for him. then the duo walked into the kitchen together.

"those doors over there, the red ones. that's the basement," reyes pointed out as the camera panned to a set of red doors not far from the kitchen table. dove hummed in response, positioning the camera onto the table while reyes continued to mess with his bag.

dove looked around the kitchen for a moment. "i got a really random hot flash," she said after a few minutes of walking around. "isn't the air on in here?" - "i'm not sure, i think it's supposed to be. are you okay?" the younger asked. dove nodded, taking a seat in one of the kitchen chairs.

the camera cut again. in the next scene, the duo was now both sitting at the table in almost complete darkness. reyes was holding a little device in his hand while dove zipped up the bag beside her.

"this is a spirit box. basically, it scans through a bunch of different radio frequencies super fast, and whenever you hear something clear, that's supposed to be a spirit communicating," he informed, holding up the little device to the camera with a small, satisfied smile.

he looked over at dove, holding out his hand with the spirit box in it, offering to give it to her. the older took it, switching it on, causing a loud static noise to break through the room. she glanced at reyes for a moment, who gave her a quick thumbs up before she continued.

"is anyone here with us?" she asked. "do you like us being here?" she added, placing the spirit box onto the table, standing it upright. all that could be heard for a while was the same static noise, pieces of songs, or very faint talking, but nothing super coherent in the slightest.

reyes looked at dove, raising an eyebrow, then reached for the device to switch it off and then back on again. he motioned for her to ask her questions again, leaning his arm onto the table. "is anyone here with us?" the female idol asked again, waiting for just a moment before asking her other question, "do you like us being here?"

after a few more moments of what seemed like no responses, there was a sudden breakthrough as the spirit box very clearly said, 'i'm here,' and then 'new friends' shortly after.

the younger idol very subtly shifted in his seat, straightening his arm up while the other seemed completely unaffected, instead having a small smile on her face.

"do you consider us as your new friends?" she questioned, her voice light and welcoming to whatever was trying to communicate with them. the static continued for a moment before once again something was heard - 'yes,' with what sounded like a young girl's voice.

reyes felt a shiver settle down his back, shaking his head. dove, on the other hand, seemed really just surprised by the whole situation, immediately asking another question - "do you want us to go to a different part of the house?" - 'up,' and then 'stairs.'

the duo exchanged a few glances, dove making the first move as she stood up from her seat and turned off the spirit box for now, grabbing the bag beside her. reyes took a moment longer, pulling himself from the chair with a very faint groan as he picked up the camera.

"i didn't expect to get clear answers at all," he said, shaking his head as he looked into the camera. dove stifled a small laugh, throwing the bag over her shoulder. "we're ghost hunting, wouldn't you want clear answers?" she teased, patting the younger on the shoulder.

once the video cut again, the two of them were now upstairs, in a room filled with many toys and little objects all on the bed. "this is sallie's room, or what everyone says is sallie's room, considering the toys and all."

the two busied themselves with messing with a few pieces of equipment before focusing on the task again. they set up a music box in the doorway of the room and in the middle of the "tea party" that was already set up in the room, they placed a rem pod in the middle.

dove picked up the camera, showing off the two pieces of equipment as reyes calibrated both of them. he stood up, taking the camera from her. "so basically, they both detect motion. for the music box, you have to step directly in front of it and then it'll play a little tune, which is very creepy by the way," he says, shaking his head with a small huff.

"with the rem pod, you have to touch the antenna and the little lights will go off in the direction of where the energy or touch is coming from. a rather simple concept. it'll also make a noise—not as creepy as the music box, but it's way louder." reyes shrugged, handing dove the camera back and stepping away for a moment.

dove turned the camera to face the little tea party set up in the middle of the room. stuffed animals were set in a circle, with little tea cups positioned in front of them. while she was focusing on the rem pod, the music box started going off behind reyes, making him flinch.

the younger moved closer to dove as the music box continued with the creepy music as if something was standing in front of it. reyes looked at the music box, then at the camera. "uh, okay, well, the music box can be rather iffy. sometimes it'll work, and other times it just bugs out," he mentioned, motioning to the music box that wouldn't stop.

"if something is in front of the music box, could you step away for a moment?" dove asked, turning the camera over to the music box again right as it stopped. reyes shook his head, growing slightly creeped out by the whole situation. "that surely isn't bugging," he mumbled.

the music box stayed quiet for quite a while, letting the duo turn back to the rem pod and tea party, which seemed rather lacking in activity for now. "does someone want to have a tea party with us?" reyes asked, sitting behind one of the toys.

dove handed him the camera as she followed his actions, sitting next to him behind another toy. "if anyone would like to join us, we're having a tea party," she offered.

not long after the duo had sat down in their positions, the music box started going off again behind them. reyes nearly dropped the camera as he shot up to turn around, catching the music box in motion.

again though, it stopped after a few moments of the song. then the rem pod started going off—the camera was turned as the rem pod continued going off. the light that was pointing was next to dove, as if something had sat down next to her.

she didn't seem worried at all, motioning for reyes to sit back down with her. the rem pod stopped as reyes sat down. he set the camera in front of him. "if someone joined us, can you make the rem pod go off again? it was the device you were just playing with," dove requested, and her voice was still as welcoming as ever.

the device didn't go off for a while, and the two just sat in silence, reyes' gaze continuously shifting between the rem pod and the camera over and over. dove remained completely unbothered, moving the toy in front of her to the side for a moment so she could turn the rem pod off.

"and it's not responding anymore. it's odd how it will and then it won't," she said with a shrug, holding the rem pod in her hand. reyes just shrugged, standing up from the floor. "maybe it just doesn't like us being at its tea party."

when the video cut again, the two idols were standing in the dark basement. "oo, it feels odd down here," dove said, looking over at reyes. "i mean, we're standing on a burnt pentagram, so like..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

reyes set the camera up on a little ledge down in the basement. "so, now we're in the basement for the very final little investigation. we haven't gotten too much yet, so maybe we'll get something more down here. but this is the basement where it's rumored that a much darker entity spends its time, which fits because it is a basement, so..."

"what are we going to use down here?" dove asked, handing reyes the bag with all the equipment. reyes shuffled through it for a few seconds, pulling out a flashlight and an emf reader. he handed dove the flashlight, causing her to give him a very skeptical look. "so the emf reader picks up on electromagnetic fields, and from my very vast knowledge, other ghost shows, it sparks when ghosts or energies in general touch it. the flashlight is rather basic; if a ghost wants, it can switch it on and off."

dove still looked a bit skeptical at the flashlight, even though she set it up on the ledge next to the camera. "it's not rigged or anything, i picked it up from some random store not far from our hotel," he clarified, picking up on her skepticism.

the flashlight sat on the ledge, which dove showed after she lifted the camera. behind the ledge was an odd box-shaped hole in the wall. "i was watching a video before we came here, and i guess a medium had seen something back in the hole," dove said, speaking to both the camera and reyes, who was busy screwing around with the emf reader.

once he finally turned it on, he handed it to the other, taking the camera from her as a trade. he zoomed in on the obviously burnt or drawn-over pentagram. "forgot to mention, but it's rumored there were like satanic rituals down here that also brought a lot of different energies and spirits here, so they burnt it."

the camera flipped back over to the ledge, showing the flashlight that was just sitting there, currently off in front of the giant hole in the wall. "you can ask questions, by the way," reyes suggested to dove, motioning to the flashlight.

she hummed, the emf barely sparked in her hand, only going up to the second green dot for just a second, completely unnoticeable to both the idols. "if there's anything down here with us, can you turn on the flashlight?" - not even seconds after she asked, the flashlight turned on, and for the first time throughout the whole video, the female idol genuinely seemed surprised.

"is the thing in here perhaps negative?" the younger questioned, zooming in on the flashlight that was off again. the flashlight seemed like it was struggling to come on, barely flickering but not completely turning on.

reyes moved back a bit, getting dove into frame as she stood off to the side of the flashlight. "do you want one of us to stand in the pentagram?" he added, zooming in on the emf reader in dove's hands that sparked to the yellow light, making a faint static noise.

"i just want you to know that i am not standing in that pentagram. i'm a guest, you should do it as the host," dove remarked, shrugging as she placed the emf reader next to the flashlight. reyes sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand. he hesitated for a moment, then handed dove the camera, which she turned to face him.

the female idol turned on the light of the camera, shining it onto the pentagram that reyes was currently standing next to. she motioned for him to stand in it. "man, if i get possessed in the first episode, my company is so gonna get me," he mumbled, stepping into it.

the youngest stood in the middle of the pentagram, surprise washing over his face as he jumped and pointed behind dove. as soon as he started standing in the pentagram, the flashlight turned on. he left the pentagram, "it turned on! i swear it turned on!" he exclaimed, pointing at the flashlight that was still on.

dove turned the camera to the flashlight that reyes was so frantically pointing at. "why did it turn on as soon as i stepped onto that thing?" he asked, his voice with a small desperate edge to it. the older hid a small laugh that threatened to break past her lips, shaking her head as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"it came on, but i'm sure it's just the ghost trying to scare you. calm down," she reassured, keeping her hand on his shoulder, softly patting it. reyes calmed down rather quickly, grabbing up the flashlight to turn it off.

the video cut again, and the two were back in the car. dove had the camera in her hands—this time she was in the front seat. "since reyes had a mini heart attack, we've decided to call it quits for today." she pointed the camera to reyes in the back, who just smiled and threw up a peace sign, fixing the hoodie on his head.

"so that was the sallie house. it wasn't disappointing at all, but the activity was pretty dull. but that's fine, each location is different," dove explained, pursing her lips.

once she was done with her closing remarks, she handed the camera back to reyes. he took it, still smiling as if he didn't panic on camera. "do you regret asking for this variety show?" dove asked off-camera as the car started moving.

reyes shook his head, "no, it's fun. i'm just working my confidence up with everything," he responded, shrugging. the camera cut off with the screen going black for a few seconds.

in the final scene, reyes was in a hotel room by himself. his hoodie was flipped over his head as he waved at the camera again. "hello again, i wanted to thank anyone who watched this. uh, next episode i won't be as scared over something so little, i was just surprised," he clarified, trying to keep his cool surface.

"goodbye and remember to uh subscribe! for more ghost content..." he trailed off, shaking his head again, "i don't know what i'm doing," he said, covering the camera with his hand. the camera cut off for the final time and a small outro played.

FINAL NOTES didn't really re-read it because ik i'd dislike it but here is the first episode, i'm so sorry for how long it took to get this out. er just wanna say again i'm not a good writer but i hope to grow as this series continues. feel free to leave thoughts in my inbox here or just anything <3 tysm for reading!

[qveenpoppy]

onto episode 3:

so, if wolf misremembered the greenhouse thing, how can we be sure any of the memories we see via flashback are accurate? (i know that's not revealed till the end of the episode, but i just remembered it as the episode started)

muriel giving oliver advice on how to water the resurrection fern is our primary clue that his greenhouse memory is inaccurate (she also makes a little face when oliver refers to what he did, taking the plant into the shower with him (so it could receive water via mist), as "dad's tip", even though it's essentially what she'd just advised him to do (mist the plant))

am i better than the interns bc i know both who taylor swift and the three stooges are? (not that i ever really watched the three stooges, but i at least know of them and their names)

if van suffers from mirror-touch synesthesia, why did he experience a phantom seizure when emily had her real one? maybe i just misunderstand what that condition entails. i figured it was just when he touched someone that he'd feel what they do.

(nevermind, it's explained when wolf diagnoses him that it's not just through touch, but talking to - and, in that case, i guess being around - other people, where he'll feel what they feel. kinda explains the opening of the episode, where he walks in with headphones on to block out all the chaos and conflict of the people on the floor, so he wouldn't feel what they do.)

speaking of, this ties into something i noticed in the last two episodes but didn't comment on - i feel like jacob and van are very much opposites. not just in the fact that jacob's like this cocky jock type while van is more soft and sensitive. van has a lot of empathy for people, probably due to his synesthesia, while jacob kinda... doesn't. not that he has 0 empathy, he just doesn't seem to put himself in the patients' shoes all that easily, unlike van, who i guess does it a little too well. i'm not pointing this out to say one character is better than the other, but it might play into the love triangle with ericka. (also, kinda makes me wonder why jacob got into medicine at all. i know it's bc his football career ended, but why not go into another field? business? marketing? something where his occasional overconfidence would better benefit him?)

"not all memories are worth revisiting." hmm, guessing this is a reference to some messy things that happened with papa wolf? like maybe memories of him on his bad days? or how he died to begin with (assuming it wasn't actually on that camping trip)?

also laughed out loud at the campy little workout mix/"dustin from abs class" scene. god, do i live for wolfnichols shenanigans. they're so sillyyyyyy. my silly little doctor boys (who are actually old(er) men)

i think the first time i watched this episode, i figured noah (papa wolf) was lying on the couch due to a physical ailment. like he was genuinely sick from something, practically bedridden. but the show keeps implying his issues were psycho- or, probably, neurological, so was it more like a depressive episode? which was part of a bigger problem? i wanna know what was wrong with him so bad, i can't figure it out!

and also, again, if oliver shut that bad memory of his dad out, who can say what else he shut out, altered, or repressed in regards to his dad's struggles? like i said, did his dad actually die (or just disappear) on that camping trip? or did he die some other time, some other way, that oliver was aware of or bared witness to, but he blocked it from his memory bc it was too traumatic? does he have any actual responsibility for how his dad died?