#actually ive got no idea what his politics were meant to be really so like it would actually make more sense

[nothoughtsnomind]

nah but thinking about yuumori and victorian politics though like marx was also around that time vaugely, what if instead of london/durham, the moriartys couldve been based in manchester and marx couldve been a character. william james moriarty and karl marx besties

[thotpuppy]

WIP Tag Game!

tagged by @dear-massacre ! AND @whimsicalmeerkat! WHIL i was writing my post lolol

This is sorta smth i track regularly? but i have it all sorted by word count akdgjkajdg it's part of my progress tracker server w some friends. Adding words is the easiest way to track 'working on a project' so that's what i do! I also have a (separate) doc in my drive folder that tracks just, general prompts, so when i have ideas i slap them in there.

Current (Teen Wolf) WIPs:

TriReign: Shepherd, Lamb, Wolf: small outline, chapters 1-4 complete, 5 wip - 16,575 - Sterek, Medieval Fantasy, Arranged Marriage, Omegaverse, Political Drama, Sex and Politics, Duty and Honor and Subterfuge, etc. my current current current WIP. Baseball AU: Collab? outline - 331. MOSTLY this is just. a Roster and some thoughts about a general plot concept. I want to illustrate this but i can't do a comic. It's also a Sterek concept. FratBoi Stiles x RA!Derek: 52 - this is just straight up a PWP with the prompt borrowed from a TWT moot that ive been meaning to work on for ages and just haven't yet. Higher Education 2: 2,821 Sciles, trans!Stiles, post-canon college AU. Also PWP, but also my gross unhygenic sloppy AU kinda. it's just. its grossnasty wet n sloppy porn. i wanted to finish this and then write a Third part for Sciles week this year and i didn't. whoops There's a Werewolf Tradition for That: 72 - Sterek didn't know they were dating AU. Alive!Hales but Werewolves are still a secret. Stiles and Derek are good friends and roommates, they're both idiots pining for each other, and out of the blue Derek's Mom sends them a formal invitation to celebrate their engagement. Stiles doesn't even know Derek's a werewolf. total ROMCOM, kinda inspired by My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but only in Vibes. Lone Wolf Wild West AU: Chapters 1, 2 posted, not outline - 3,670. Sterek, Lone Ranger!Derek, son of the sheriff Stiles. Mystery, adventure, romance. I miss cowboy...

Somewhere in here I will also put my Collabang fic and any other events i sign up for, because I'm gonna have to pause my major WIPs to work on them lol

1920's Mafia AU: Outline only - 1313 - Stiles is a city detective, the sheriff is the Police Commissioner, this takes place in Los Angeles. There are tunnels running all through the city, albeit underneath (real). There's been an uptick in gang activity lately. Stiles secretly 'runs' by which i mean, owns and protect, but isn't involved in Actually Running, an underground speakeasy in the heart of the city. He doesn't let any gangs runs their trouble on his turf. Until one day, a Hale is shot by an Argent right outside his doors. Sterek SuperBat ComicCon MeetCute: WIP One Shot - 1,049 Inspired by MultiE's art. nerd x nerd solidarity Sciles Ancient Greece AU: 192 - this is a friggin poem and is probably gonna stay a poem. New! Sex For Work: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 - 23,228. Part 5? Sterek BDSM CEO x Personal Assistant AU. Originally intended to be kinky prompt fill series but Caught Plot. I meant to rewrite it last month to convert it into a standalone story, but uhhhh didn't. I DID do reformatting though. I just need to get writing on it again, but i tend to be kinda singleminded.

Other Fandom WIPs:

Big Blue Boyscout: 47 - Superman x Nightwing, xenophilia fic. "He's Big and Blue in more ways than one..." Bruce Wayne Visits Smallville: 685 - I got distracted while bingeing smallville for the first time and haven't gone back, but this was just supposed to be a one shot but my outline grew legs DP/YJ Crossover: 220 - this is more of a concept than a real specific fic, but i REALLY like comparing danny phantom to specifically the young justice animated series, and i wanted to try and come up with a cohesive clone comparison plot, rather than just making it a lil joke. Maybe it'll be Danny x Conner because himbo tee shirt conner is my baby boy baby boy Not So Blushing, Not So Virgin: 40 - SuperBat role reversal where everyone expects clark to be this sweet inexperienced things and then he absolutely blows bruce's back out.

Hiatus Projects:

Universal Law of Gravitation: Chapter 1 WIP, significant outline - 3,080 - Sterek Lifetime fic. I wrote out this huge long super comprehensive timeline and got super caught up in it. It's supposed to be about how, despite their best efforts, Stiles and Derek just can't stay apart, so there are a ton of messy breakups and fights in between. I just never put together an actual proper Plot, so when i started writing it, i got SUPER bored. It has a playlist! and i made a bunch of pseudo-science chapter titles hehe A Fever You Can't Sweat Out: Chapter 1 posted, Chapter 2 WIP, significant outline - 9,911 - Sterek, Marrish, Scallison, post-canon AU, surprise mpreg! Similarly to ULG, i wrote out a huge big timeline and outline and got super nitty gritty into the details, but literally Chapter One i went Off Track and it just killed my motivation. It's HUGELY ensemble, and i picked out jobs and hobbies for like 12 people to all live in a big ol estate together. It also suffered from "world building but no plot", but i DID try to make a plot, it just. wasn't good haha. The entire concept is, Lydia gets pregnant which makes Allison baby crazy so she gets pregnant and Stiles wants a baby so, so bad, but he's dating dating/married to Derek and therefore would have to adopt or something, but he wants it so bad he magics himself up a contraception.

Prompts!

Derek is moody, Stiles teases him about the fact he like, never smiles. Kisses him on a whim to get a rise out of him. And then proceeds to have a existential crisis after because "oh shit did he just kiss DEREK".

Werewolf!Stiles’ Pavlovian Pleasure Response to Scott’s Click (iykwim)

Stiles x Jeep crack smut oneshot

Post Nogi stiles is having trouble feeling like himself again. he feels a sharp disconnect with his Self that he didn't used to have, like he's lost touch with his humanity. He needs someone to remind him how it feels to be human.

unspecified/platonic - In this kind of weather, it makes more sense to stay inside. Or rather, stay inside somewhere else. Stiles sets up shop in a bookstore's cafe to while away the time warm espresso, a good book, and his own company. Until Someone/Something Else comes knocking.

Supernatural Boarding school (circa 2005-2009 role-play forum vibes)

Bastard Prince Jackson and Freedom Fighter Stiles (see doc)

Stiles’ mythology professor bites off more than either can chew - The Great Beacon Hills Custody Battle

“Teenage Dirtbag” Loser!Stiles Sterek fic

all of my prompts literally only exist in a single document where i put Ideas i like adkgjakjg everything in wips has a dedicated doc, but most of them dont have much written yet.

There's also 1 absent prompt here that im now saving for the collabang so ive omitted it from my counts because its technically a wordcount of 0 until i get to start working w my artist (:

no pressure tags! @renmackree @lavender-lotion @like-lazarus @geekmom13 @endwersed

[bolandoando]

hmm that 90s show looks like booty, ive never finished that 70s show + every time i rewatch i stop at the end of season 5 bc thats when the humor loses its novelty for me and the audience laughter gets distracting. i always liked the attention to detail in the extras and how many cute outfits there were even in the background actors and the first season definitely felt autobiographical, but at a certain point the writers stopped introducing side characters and painted themselves into a corner not only by starting the show on 1976 and stretching the decade out by 4 years but also by ending the world-building. it came to a point where these 6 friends had absolutely no other friends, no new gfs/bfs and no reason to still be stuck in wisconsin at their grown up 30yr old age. none of those characters wouldve stuck around in that small town and instead of expanding the world and cast, they cut out donnas sister early on (which couldve led naturally to a younger cast/friend group that couldve continued the show as the older cast graduated hs and moved away), brought in no new diverse blood (scared off reagan gomez who wouldve been a fun addition but refused to be typecast, idk how white wisconsin is but the show couldve been more progressive) and stopped introducing major events in history which is what made the world so relateable and real, and cut out joseph gordon levitts gay character bc audiences didnt react well (considering the 70s, certainly the 60s, was more progressive about sex and gender, its pathetic how easily the writers were cowed and they shouldntve been afraid to address topics especially since it was funny and brought new material and actors to the show whose story got repetitive very quickly and wouldve benefited from new conflict). the idea of making hyde black was stupid as hell and unrealistic. why not just invite a black actor to the gang ? and i know sitcoms wear out their stay always but i think the writers really fucked it by letting things get stale. if donna was a combative feminist why didnt she have any women friends ? certainly she would know some lesbians and this feminist trait was abandoned at a point when it rlly should not have. it wouldve been fun to see her involved in the movement and get challenged on her beliefs and introduced other women actors who perhaps disagreed on her experience as a white feminist and brought more conflict to the show. idk im just thinking about the possible degrassi topics they couldve dealt with but with humor. her characterization was confused at times bc she was meant to be one of the guys but shes the least chill person in the bunch and was often hypocritical and as bratty and unreasonable as jackie. theres also no way jackie didnt have a posse of girlfriends, she may have been bossy and unlikeable in that world but she was most certainly popular in high school so to make it seem like she had absolutely no other friend group was a wasted opportunity. kelso 100% had other friends that couldve been introduced, there couldve been more parties more love interests more shenanigans if ppl outside of the friend group were acknowledged. theres political movements that couldve been used in the show for more than an episode and just more attempts at sincerity which the show lost. also fez lost his tan and looked quite like flaccid pasty playdoh i cant believe he got w so many underaged It girls at the time. ideally the writers shouldve either started the show by disregarding the pilot episode’s new year party and just slipped it in that actually its 1971 or they shouldve committed to having a tight and well written 4 seasons. i know that 80s show failed out the bat and i believe its bc the writers lost their imagination and the show was no longer a personal story but just a cash cow. there are so many stories of the 80s that couldve been told bc so much happened, so many cultural moments and idk the writers just werent creative anymore. the trailer for that 90s show looks like a nickelodeon show in the casting and i wonder how realistic it’ll get or how good it’ll be

[avatar-anna]

The Professor

summary: you and harry are perfect strangers

words: 3.5k

tw: none

PART III, PART V, PART IV, PART II, PART I Series Masterlist

June 2021

This summer, were trying something new.

Since school was out, you decided you needed to get out more. You’d seen less of Edward because he was getting busier and busier with his super secret project. He still texted and called, and since you were busy with school, helping the police department from time to time, filming your educational videos, and writing papers along with grading them, you didn’t mind not seeing him as much. You liked that you could go a few weeks without seeing each other and still remain close friends…or whatever you were. That was something both of you were okay with not discussing for the time being. 

In the past, you spent a lot of your summers indoors or around Cambridge, but this summer, you decided to branch out and explore. You read books and case files in cafes, you biked around town more, you even wanted to plan a road trip with Edward. Before, your summers, while enjoyable, were pretty monotonous. Maybe it was because the world was finally opening back up again, but you just had this itch to get out of your townhouse more. And take the Emperor with you, of course. 

It was a sunny afternoon in Cambridge, and you were sitting on a patio table of a cafe you started frequenting. They had all sorts of tea flavors and fun summery drinks you wanted to try. Something in you was pushing you to try new things, and instead of shying away from it, you embraced it. The sun was shining brightly, your paper was coming along splendidly, and the Emperor was basking in the sunlight inside the pram you bought for him. This summer was off to a beautiful start.

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is Dr. Y/l/n outside and actually enjoying the sun?”

You immediately perked up at the sound of Edward’s voice, your lips curving up into a smile involuntarily. “What are you doing here?”

“To see you, of course,” he said from behind his mask. 

Edward was still standing, so you could see all of him. He, like you, was dressed for summer in corduroy shorts and an opened, button-down shirt made of a colorful patchwork of different fabrics. 

“Sit down!” you said, gesturing for the open seat across from you beside the Emperor. 

He did, petting your cat as he did so, who leaned into Edward’s touch. Seems you weren’t the only one who missed your friend.

“You’re in a particularly sunny mood today,” he said.

“I’m embracing life, Edward,” you said, slipping your straw beneath your face mask to take a sip of your coffee—some kind of rose latte that you didn’t love but felt like you needed to finish to be polite. “And I consulted on a case in New York, which was very fun. Well, not fun. Satisfying. You know, because I got to be a part of saving a life and stop someone from doing horrible things.”

Smiling, he said, “That’s great, Y/n. I’m really happy for you.”

He said it, but he didn’t sound happy. Admittedly, it was somber stuff, but you hadn’t gone into the explicit details, ones that you would never forget, you literally weren’t able to.

“Are you okay? You seem a little off.”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but again, he wasn’t very convincing. “Listen, there’s something I wanted to���”

“So, I had this idea, but I wanted to run it by—Oh, sorry. Go ahead.”

“No, no. You first.”

Now that his eyes were on you, even if they were covered by dark sunglasses, you flushed with nerves. You’d never done something like this, and you thought you had more time to prepare and find the right words, but this summer was all about taking chances for you, so you swallowed your fear and just blurted it out.

“I think we should go on a date.”

Edward’s eyebrows rose, but you couldn’t tell what it meant. “A date?”

“Yeah, you know, since things have been opening up more, and we’ve never actually seen the bottom of each other’s faces, I just thought now would be as good a time as any, right?”

When he didn’t answer right away, you started to panic. Did you read the last three months wrong? Edward told you he liked you, you held hands when you sat and talked in your townhouse, he was showing interest, right? You couldn’t be that oblivious, and you didn’t think you read the signs wrong. You checked. Your evidence backed up your inferences. This should’ve been seamless.

You were almost never wrong, but now you were worried you got everything completely wrong. “Unless…you don’t want to?”

Edward was quick to reassure you. “I do, you have no idea how much I do. I’m just…shocked by how forward you’re being.”

Leaning forward, you stage whispered, “It’s not too much, is it?”

Edward leaned forward too, and this time you could tell he was grinning. “No, not at all. I think it suits you.”

He couldn’t see it, but you were smiling beneath your mask. “Great. So? What do you say?”

You’d never been this forward before, but Edward made you feel confident. In your mind, you had nothing to lose.

“I’d love to,” he said, holding your hand across the table. “Now, what do you say to heading back to your place? I missed looking at constellations with you.”

Butterflies Edward had called them. They were going crazy in your stomach, but they didn’t freak you out. They just made you excited. You thought this new you suited you too.

----------------------------------------------------------

It was late, way past midnight, and he was still in your house. You weren’t quite sure where the time went, or how you managed to talk for that long, but there both of you were, sitting on your couch, neither of you making any kinds of moves to leave.

“If you weren’t a professor, what would you be doing?”

It took you a moment to think about that, to give him an answer that wouldn’t end in Edward lecturing you about taking care of yourself and putting yourself first.

“I don’t know, I think I was made for teaching and helping people. It’s what I’m good at.”

“But do you teach because you love it or because you’re good at it. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, Y/n.”

Edward worried about you a lot. Something you thought you would find irritating, but actually found endearing.

“I know, but for me it is,” you said, squeezing the hand that was holding yours. You realized he liked that. Small affectionate touches. You weren’t the affectionate type but you liked being that way for him. “I love helping people. For the first half of my life, I was stuck doing things for other people, and I hated it. I was good at math, I am good at math, but being forced to do it all day made me never want to look at or solve complicated theories ever again.

“This is the life I chose for myself. Sometimes I think that with this…gift, asset, whatever you want to call it, that I should be doing more, so I help the police department and I share my knowledge with others and hope that’s enough.”

You let out a breath, surprised you said so much. You knew it wasn’t physically possible, but you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, like in that moment, you weren’t just talking to Edward, but to everyone who ever criticized your decision to leave solving unsolvable math and science problems behind to take up teaching.

“That felt good, didn’t it?” Edward said, like your answer was exactly what he wanted you to say.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You’re very smart, Edward. Not as smart as me of course, but—”

“But who is?” he finished for you.

You sat with him in comfortable silence, neither of you knowing what to say next, but not ready to say goodbye, either. This was the latest Edward had ever stayed over, and that fluttering was stirring in you. You’d never had anyone spend the night before, but you thought he would make a good first.

“I should probably go,” he said suddenly, as if he just realized it was nearing three in the morning.

Reminding yourself that this was the summer of embracing change and trying new things, you took a deep breath and said, “You don’t have to.”

“No?” 

“It’s late, and you must be tired. You can stay. If—If you want to, that is.”

You wondered if his heart was beating as fast as yours, or if his palms were starting to sweat. Maybe you’d read these last three months entirely wrong, maybe asking him to stay was a terrible idea, one you clearly didn’t think through. Your invitation for him to stay the night was exactly that: a place for him to sleep. But did Edward know that? What if he took your invitation as more? And neither of you obviously slept with a face covering, there was a chance you would see his face tonight.

You’d insisted on the face masks because you didn’t want to get yourself or Edward sick, but part of you also liked that you had to wear them. It was social distance as well as emotional distance, like keeping what you completely looked like a secret was the one thing that prevented you from fully opening up to him. Were you really ready for that?

“Y/n?”

So in your thoughts about Edward possibly staying the night, you forgot he hadn’t said yes or no yet. Blushing, you looked back over to him. “Yes?”

“I can see the gears turning in that beautiful brain of yours. You don’t have to be so stressed. If you don’t want me to stay, I won’t. It’s not a big deal.”

“I do!” you blurted, your face turning red at how quickly you corrected him. “I, um, I think it will be fun. But…I just don’t want you to think that it means that we’re having sex.”

The blunt delivery of your statement had him laughing, so much so that it calmed your nerves a bit. “I didn’t think that at all,” he said. Inching closer to you, he reached for your hand again, rubbing his thumb across the back. “So, got an extra toothbrush?”

----------------------------------------------------------

You were at home, laying on your floor and watching constellations, only it wasn’t with Edward. Your phone was clutched in your hands, your leg crossed over the other revealing colorful patterned socks peeking out beneath your ankle-length jeans. You needed to make a phone call, but you didn’t know what you were going to say. 

How were you going to tell him?

Thankfully, you got a phone call before you had to make that decision. It was the former student you employed to help edit your videos. “Hello?”

“When were you going to tell me you knew Harry Styles?”

The name sounded familiar, and you recalled one of your students mentioning it in one of their questions at the end of class once, but you didn’t know him. “I…I don’t?”

“Y/n, are you pulling my leg right now? It’s all over the Internet,” they said.

“What is?” you asked, more confused than ever.

“The pictures! You’re at a cafe and casually sitting with one of the most popular men in music. How the hell did you not know?”

Your mind was going into overdrive with all the new information you’d just received. “I—I need to—to go,” you said, hanging up without another word. 

The only time you really used the Internet was to look up scholarly journals or to search for a new recipe, but now you typed in the words, “Harry Styles,” when the search finished loading, your eyes widened. “Holy shit.”

You rarely cursed, but this instance was worthy of using expletives. Edward…Harry…whoever he said he was…was not who he claimed to be. He was famous, like really, really famous. He’d just won a Grammy, he had two albums, he was on the cover of Vogue, and he had a larger than life following. The man online was not the man you knew in person. He was charismatic and outgoing, he sang songs about sex, he was a more vibrant version of the person you’d come to know. Edward was soft spoken, but Harry was…some kind of rockstar.

You consumed everything you possibly could, your eyes scanning his Wikipedia page—he had a Wikipedia page!—in a minute. Singing contest shows, albums, awards, band breakups, world tours, you read everything. You knew more about him than you wanted to know. 

And you were there too. In a recent article by some tacky looking publication with obnoxious colors and loud titles that made your head hurt, there was a picture of you and Edward—Harry—sitting at the cafe last week. The pictures looked innocent enough, but the headlines claimed you were a secret lover, a possible affair.

An affair? You clicked on one of the linked articles on the website, hating yourself for reading something like this. Another picture popped up. He looked like he was at some wedding, holding hands with another woman.

You turned your phone off after that, not wanting anymore pictures or words forever ingrained in your mind. He was seeing someone. He had a…a person. Someone that meant something to him. Someone that wasn’t you.

It hurt, especially because you really thought he’d shown interest the last few months, but that was probably a lie too. He spent the night just last week! Sure, you didn’t do anything but sleep, but that was a big step. Apparently not. Just before you clicked out of the website, you saw that she was a director. Maybe he was only interested in people who led similar lives, and you certainly did not.

You felt silly all of a sudden. You tricked yourself into believing that someone actually cared for you. No one had ever shown interest in you outside of the knowledge you held, all the remarkable things you could remember. When you visited her for Spring Break, your mom went around telling people you were a human computer, getting people to ask you questions and see how quick you could respond. Like your students in class but not at all the same. You weren’t a person to be valued or cherished, you were an object of fascination. A circus freak that could do tricks on command.

You laid on the floor with your head pressed against the wood panels, heart pounding and mind spinning. Words flew around so fast they were unintelligible. Nothing made sense, and as someone who could make sense of everything, it was frustrating you. A headache quickly developed into a migraine, and you didn’t know what to do. Shutting your eyes wouldn’t change anything, would probably only make things worse. You read too much too fast, and now it was overwhelming you.

A knock on your front door temporarily distracted you. You stood up from your position on the ground, but every step towards your door was a painful one. Peeking through your peephole, your heart clenched, your stomach filled with dread. It was him.

You were in no way ready to face him, so you didn’t. “I—I’m not feeling well.”

“Aw, really?” he asked, sounding disappointed. “Well, let me in and I’ll take care of you.”

He sounded so sweet and so sincere that you almost let him in, but you stopped yourself. “I haven’t gotten tested yet. I’ll—I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Let me in, Y/n. If you’re not feeling well, I want to help.”

His kindness made you angry all of a sudden. With everything swirling around and your migraine, you blurted, “I don’t want to see you right now, Harry.”

It was his name, but it didn’t sound right on your tongue. He seemed to recognize it, though. With both of you so close to the door, you heard the soft thud of his forehead leaning against it as he quietly muttered, “Fuck.”

“You lied to me,” you said, trying to hide the quiver in your voice. “Why would you lie to me?”

“I—I didn’t lie, I—”

“Don’t give me that omission bullshit! You didn’t even tell me your real name!”

You remembered the first time he’d come over to your house. The two of you were so engrossed in your conversation that you didn’t even realize you hadn’t shared each other’s names until he was about to leave. He told you his name was Edward, and you didn’t question it. Why would you?

“I can’t believe this,” you said. “I—We talked about you being a murderer, and I laughed it off when you could’ve actually been one. I’m such an idiot! I actually—I actually trusted you!”

“You can trust me. Please just—Please let me in, and I can explain everything. Just please let me in.”

He sounded desperate, but he wasn’t getting it. You did let him in. He knew you more than any other person you knew, but you clearly didn’t know him. You had a hard time trusting people, it was why you didn’t have many friends or colleagues or a long romantic history. Trust was something you had a hard time handing to people, but somehow he managed it, and he took it and stomped on it, crushed it in his hands like a piece of paper. You couldn’t trust him. He lied to you about who he was for months and didn’t try to tell you the truth. Not once.

“I know about the woman you’re seeing. The director,” you said suddenly You had never spoken so venomously before, and you hated it. You hated how all of this was making you feel. “I asked you out because I liked you and you managed to convince me that you liked me too, but—but you ruined it. I learned so much about you in minutes, and I can’t forget it. I wish I could forget meeting you, but I will never be able to.

“I can win a chess game in two moves, I could solve some of the most complex physics equations before you probably even knew what algebra was, I know four current languages and two dead languages, I’ve read the Bible cover to cover multiple times, I came close to solving the three body problem. I bet you don’t even know what that is!

“I’m an expert in multiple fields of psychology, so imagine my surprise when I found out you weren’t who you said you were. Not once did I suspect anything,” you said, surprised that all of that came bursting out of you.

“I am. Y/n, please open the door,” he pleaded. He sounded like he was crying, which made a couple tears slip down your cheeks. 

You steeled your nerves, feeling like each one of those butterflies he made you feel died and floated to the bottom of your stomach. “I’m glad I found out now and not while I was still teaching, I can’t imagine how badly my students would make fun of me for being so clueless.”

Hearing the calmness in your voice, you heard him grow frantic on the other side of the door. “It’s not your fault, Y/n, I was just trying to—”

“You’re right. It’s not my fault,” you said. “I don’t like to believe in coincidences or chance, but maybe there’s a hint of it here.” You paused, finding the strength to get the words out. You hadn’t thought it through, and perhaps you were being too rash or emotional, but you said it anyway. “I was offered a job today. In New York. I was going to call you and tell you about it, maybe celebrate even if I was planning on turning it down, but then I got a different phone call first, and I found out about you, and…

“I’m going to take the job, and I—I don’t want to see you before I leave.”

“Okay, I know you’re mad, and you have every right to be, but I am begging you not to go anywhere before I can explain. There’s so much that I want—that I need to say. Y/n please.”

You were done fighting. Mostly because your migraine was becoming too much and you were still processing the overload of information, but also because you couldn’t handle talking to the person on the other side of your door anymore. 

“Just go,” you said, more tired than you’d ever felt before. “I can’t—I can’t let you do this to me.”

Your mind, which was normally sharp and organized, was currently in shambles. You'd never felt this lost before. You could always rely on your instinct and your knowledge, but it was failing you, and that was something you couldn't handle.

“Please. Please. Open the door, Y/n. Please let me in. Please, I’ll explain everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—”

Taking your cat, you left him at the front door, still knocking and begging you to let him explain, but you didn’t want an explanation. None of it would change the fact that he lied for months, with no plans to stop.

You don’t know when he left, or how long he knocked on the door. If he left of his own volition or if your neighbors grew tired of the noise. You just didn’t care to know. As you rested on your bed and hid from everything you learned the best you could, you just…didn’t care anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @remuslupinwifee @majasophieanna @michellekstyles @wolwolsighs @harrystylesrecs @cwiphswmwasohmm @his-only-angel-1989

[teddyduchampsglasses]

modern!dps buy Cameron the exclusive longhorn build a bear for his birthday and he cries

THE BOYS BUY CAMERON THE STUFFED COW

IVE BEEN SO HYPED TO WRITE THIS ONE YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN KNOW but on that note, I’m a little slow and a bit confused but I really hope that you meant the dead poets buy him the stuffed animal because that’s the idea this is being based off of lmao, if that’s not what you meant, I am so sorry, but anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

THIS IS THE COW BTW AWWW FHSJFJ ITS SO CUTE

Anyway, onto the writing :)

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Meeks was actually the one who suggested that they all come together, raise enough money between the six of them and purchase the stuffed animal for Richard’s birthday. Doing all of this in secret of course, as a fun, little surprise. Seeing as Cameron was seemingly obsessed with the animal, owning an abundance of merchandise based around the mammal, the group agreed that it was the perfect present. They all wanted to chip into the acquiring of the adorable stuffy, so they split the cost as equally as possible. Coming to the conclusion that each boy would have to pay around four dollars. A small and very easy amount to retrieve. So, once everyone had handed over their rightful amount, they set off to buy the teddy. Purchasing it two days before Camerons birthday, and making Knox hide it in his dorm. They even went out of their way, Neil paying a bit extra, to get it strawberry scented, because their friend deserved it. Everyone mentally face palmed when they returned to Welton from their little trip, and of course, Cameron asked where they had gotten off to. And poor, nervous Todd squeaked out the sentence “Horse funeral.” To which Pitts added “Very sad.”

They decided to be a little extra. So when Cameron’s birthday eventually rolled around, they all prentended that they had forgot. “Guys! Guess what day it is?” Cameron came barreling into the study hall. “Uhm testing day?” “No...Wait are you serious?” “Yeah, what other day could it possibly be?” “Nothing...never mind.” He sulked, turning out of the room. The group felt extremely proud of themselves, of course they weren’t pleased that they had made their friend upset, but they knew it was gonna be totally worth it in the end just to see the reaction on his face. So, for the entire day, they acted like they had no clue what day it was. Even getting the teachers and other students in on it too, politely asking them not to mention anything about his birthday, under any circumstances was anyone to mention his special day. And it actually went quite smoothly, no one said a thing about his birth anniversary. So, at exactly 3 PM, when everyone but Cameron was studying, the group got together and headed to his room.

When they handed Cameron the gift bag, the bag that secretly held the cow, his first words were “Aww, I knew you guys wouldn’t forget.” Words said with a smile, then he tore into the present.

The red head immediately burst out into tears as soon as the stuffed animal was revealed to his eyes. He couldn’t even form words, he just sat there, a stuttering and mumbling mess. He just sobbed as he held the cow tightly to his chest. And as soon as the scent of delicious strawberries wafted into his nose, he just started crying even harder. His reaction honestly jumped the other poets a bit, they expected him to be happy and exhilarated but they didn’t expect him to start crying. They really hoped the tears were happy, making Charlie step up and ask “Do you like it?” Happily, Cameron responded with “I love it!”

Cameron could not be more thankful, “thank you”s and happy words were just fumbling from his mouth. He was absolutely mesmerized and totally fell in love with the small, plush cow upon their first meeting. He loved its big eyes and soft, fluffy fur. He thinks it’s absolutely adorable. It’s cute horns and beautiful smell. He couldn’t be more pleased with the gift.

Richard happily named his new found friend “Honeybun”. There was really no reason behind his choice except for it being an absolutely heart melting name and it just seemed to fit the cow perfectly.

Richard happily sleeps with Honeybun every night. No, he’s no ashamed, all his friends already know of the little stuffed animal, so why would he feel any sort of humiliation or need to hide this fact? He’s so attached to the fluffy stuffy that he just cradles it every night. The loving smell of strawberries lingering around him and it’s soft fur tickling his nose just seems to lull him to sleep. He rests easy with his little pal by his side.

After a long day, be it a stressful day or just a frustrating one, Cameron often returns to his dorm and holds Honeybun close for comfort. He actually looks forward to it the entire day, being able to calm his nerves. If he’s feeling any sort of stress, he quickly picks up the cow and squeezes it tightly. It always seems to melt away any pain he was previously feeling. He also holds Honeybun in his lap while he’s studying or reading, to help him focus or work better. It’s very calming.

Onetime, the cow went missing for about a week or so and Richard was totally distraught. This boy couldn’t seem to function. He couldn’t work, sleep or even eat. All the poets started to worry about him, but they also started to worry that maybe he had grown just a bit too attached to the object. Anyway, Cameron just silently cried every night the cow was gone, quietly, as to not wake Charlie, because he just couldn’t seem to achieve sleep without the stuffed animal. And he had also failed a test or two sense studying seemed to become increasingly difficult after the disappearance of Honeybun. Todd then found it a week after it had gone missing, Cameron must have dropped it in Todd and Neil’s dorm because it had some how slid under Todd’s bed. Todd found it while retrieving a dropped pencil and he quickly forgot about everything he was doing before and delivered it straight to Cameron.

Todd then became Cameron’s god and savior for the next month or so.

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[sukifans]

IT’S ALL LATIN TO ME

ZUKO X READER COLLEGE!SMAU

⏎ MASTERLIST // part III « IV. seduction siri » part V

SUMMARY: you’re a premed student at BSSU and you thought it’d be a good idea to take a latin class, but you’re in way over your head here. good thing your buddy sokka knows a classics major in your section you can study with.

WARNINGS: language, alcohol/partying

Zuko felt... oddly nervous as he pulled up to her apartment building. He sent the text to let her know he’d arrived and anxiously scrolled through his Spotify, flicking quickly through his various playlists. He knew he was far too concerned about what music to play while she was in the car with him but he wanted to get “the vibe” right, as Sokka would say. That, and it gave him something to focus on that wasn’t panicking over conversation starters in case of an awkward lull. When he saw her coming he leapt out of the driver’s seat.

“Hey, Zuko!” (Y/N) smiled when she saw him and then furrowed her brow when he hurried over to the passenger side. Her face heated when he opened her door. “Oh, my gods. You don’t have to do that,” she said as she slid into her seat.

“It’s polite,” he said simply before shutting the door and walking back to his side. In reality he was already freaking out — had he fucked it up by being weird literally seconds into this?

“Making me feel like a princess or something over here,” she laughed, face still red. He looked over at her and she closed her mouth quickly, remembering he was actually a prince. Like, for real. “Sorry.”

She shook her head with a small smile. “Is this a date, then?” she teased and the tips of his ears went red.

“No,” he said quickly. “No, it just... sounds like you’re dating the wrong kinds of guys.”

“Tell me about it.” She rolled her eyes and slumped down into the seat. “My type seems to be chauvinist douchebag.”

“That’s unfortunate.” He never thought he’d ever wish to be a chauvinist douchebag. Maybe her type also included awkward but well-intended ex-royalty and she just didn’t feel the need to mention it.

“That’s unfortunate.” He never thought he’d ever wish to be a chauvinist douchebag. Maybe her type also included awkward but well-intended ex-royalty and she just didn’t feel the need to mention it.

“Very,” she said darkly before perking up. “So are you excited for the party?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Me too. I’m really glad you decided to come.”

“Didn’t really have much of a choice since I live with Sokka,” he joked lightly. She shrugged.

“Still, I’ll be happy to see you loosen up a bit. I know I haven’t known you for very long but you always seem so tense.”

“It’ll definitely be interesting,” he deflected deftly. “I have to say, though, that I’m looking forward to seeing for myself what Suki meant when she said you’re an affectionate drunk.” He shot her an amused smirk that made her stomach feel fluttery.

“Spirits, my friends are such gossips! Yes, I get a little more touchy and I like to dance with people and tell everyone how much I love them. But one time I hit the merlot a little too hard and started feeling sexy — as one does after drinking too much wine — and tried to make out with everyone. It only happens when I drink wine, though!”

He laughed at her animated retelling, her wild gesticulations visible out of the corner of his eye. He grinned over at her after he’d pulled into the store parking lot and turned the car off. “I guess I’ll have to be sure to grab a bottle or three, then.”

She laughed, looking away to hide her flushed face. “That’s on you, then. I’ll be your responsibility for the night.”

“It’d be my honor and immense pleasure.” He waggled his eyebrows and she groaned, covering her face with her hands. He was pretty proud of himself for his flirting thus far. He’d discovered he really liked making her blush, watching the pink tinge spread from her cheeks across the bridge of her nose and creep up her temples. He made her go red again when he made purposeful eye contact with her and slipped two bottles of red wine into the cart as they stocked up on liquor.

When they got back to his and Sokka’s apartment, (Y/N) started giggling at the amount of decorations Sokka had put up — the crepe paper and streamers being the least of it. He had even done a few very interpretative portraits of Suki and hung them. She looked up at the ceiling and laughed, elbowing Zuko and nodding up at the balloons.

“I thought they said Suki was blowing the balloons up?” she said. He looked up and frowned.

“Sokka, do you have helium somewhere?” he shouted into the apartment as he unloaded the alcohol. Sokka and Suki popped out of a room.

“Not anymore,” Sokka answered. “Used it all up. Suki had to do the rest.” He pointed at a few balloons scattered on the floor.

“Where the hell did you get it?”

“Found it.”

“Wh-“ she murmured, looking over to Zuko. He just shook his head. Probably better to not ask questions.

“Katara’s on the way with Aang and Toph,” Suki said as she started pulling cups from the cabinet.

“And pizza!” Sokka added. “Don’t worry, she got Hawaiian for you two.” He shuddered, glaring at (Y/N) and Zuko.

“You like Hawaiian too?” She grinned at him and held out her fist. “That’s what’s up.”

He hesitantly tapped his knuckles against hers. The first time Sokka had tried to fist-bump him he’d just grabbed his hand and shook it. Sokka liked to torment him about it often. “It’s about the sweet and salty.”

“It’s fucked up is what it is,” said Sokka. “Fruit doesn’t belong on pizza. And don’t say tomato is a fruit.”

“But it is,” (Y/N) said.

“That’s a moot point.” She and Zuko exchanged looks and he rolled his eyes, making her giggle.

Soon after the other three arrived, with the food of course. Sokka continued to spout slander about Hawaiian pizza until Zuko put him in a headlock while (Y/N) shoved a piece of pineapple into his mouth. He piped down after that while everyone else laughed. Once they’d eaten, they finished the beers they’d been sipping on started to break into the “good shit,” as Toph so eloquently said. She made everyone drinks, pouring with a very heavy hand. It didn’t take long before they all started getting a little tipsy and Sokka started setting up beer pong on the kitchen island, pouring shots in the Solo cups.

“Okay, so,” Sokka started, “Me and Zuko, (Y/N) and Suki, and Toph and Aang. Katara, you ref as usual. The winner of the first round plays us.”

Suki and Katara shared a look. “Don’t you want to be on my team, and (Y/N) can be with Zuko?” Suki asked.

“Sorry, babe, but Zuko’s the best shot pong player here and I’m not losing.” He linked his arm with Zuko’s.

“Don’t worry, Suki; Sokka doesn’t know that I’m actually the best ‘shot pong’ player here because he’s never played against me,” (Y/N) said, resting her hand on Suki’s arm reassuringly. Suki’s concern was more about forcing Zuko and (Y/N) together, but she nodded anyways.

“Yeah?” Zuko smirked. “Is that a challenge?”

“I think it is, Sparky,” Toph said, egging them on. They would just have to push them together from a different angle and obviously Sokka would be no help.

“You’re going down, hotman.” (Y/N) set her drink down, eager at the prospect of some friendly competition.

“Maybe later, princess. I have a tournament to win first,” he said smugly, grinning at the way she went bright red. Her stomach flipped at his words and she couldn’t even think of a witty response. She downed her drink instead, shuddering when the alcohol burned her throat.

“It’s on,” she growled. Zuko had to shake himself to tear his eyes away from the intense look she was giving him – it made him a little scared, but also a little turned on.

It all started off well and good. She and Suki pretty easily beat Toph and Aang. Though Toph was blind, she was definitely the better player of the two. When it came time to play the boys, Zuko watched, mesmerized, as (Y/N) rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, shooting him a cocky smile.

“Ready to lose?” Sokka taunted, now starting to sway a little bit from the amount he’d indulged while the other game was happening.

“I don’t think that’ll be a concern, babe,” Suki said, looking on with amusement and, strangely, adoration when Sokka belched loudly and started laughing. Zuko chuckled at the look (Y/N) shot him from the other side of the island.

It was a tough game, they would both have to admit. Neither (Y/N) nor Zuko missed a cup at the start, but the alcohol began affecting the game soon after the start. Toph, Aang, and even the “impartial judge” Katara cheered when (Y/N) or Suki were able to sink a ball into a cup and groaned animatedly when Zuko or Sokka did. Eventually, both teams were down to one cup.

“Watch this,” Zuko elbowed Sokka roughly, knocking the other boy onto the floor. Undeterred, Zuko turned around and tossed the ball over his shoulder without looking. It missed tremendously, bouncing off Toph’s forehead. “Sorry, Beifong,” he laughed as she scowled in his direction. With a wink, (Y/N) easily tossed the ball into the boys’ last cup. Everyone cheered as Zuko drank, including Sokka from the floor. Suki hugged (Y/N) tightly, spinning her around as they celebrated their victory.

“Did we win?” Sokka asked, sitting up with great difficulty.

“Not this time, buddy,” said Zuko as he helped his friend stand again.

“You serious?” Sokka gasped and pushed him, causing both of them to stumble. “What the hell?! (Y/N), you’re officially my new shot pong partner from here on out!”

“Maybe. On the other hand, though, if Zuko and I teamed up we’d be unstoppable.”

“I like the sound of that,” Zuko mused and Sokka started babbling about betrayal and the “coup d’état” they were staging against him. Aang, bored of Sokka’s drunken whining, cranked up the music. (Y/N) grabbed Zuko and pulled him into a dance while Suki went to go comfort a pouting Sokka on the couch. She laughed at how stiffly he moved even when drunk, like dancing was a completely foreign concept to him. He just kind of shifted his weight from foot to foot, hardly even in time with the beat of the music. Zuko filled his cup again and hoped it would help unlock some secret rhythm or skills.

“I’m so sorry, Zu!” she giggled as she wobbled, grabbing onto his bicep for support. She’d bumped into the glass he was holding and spilled it everywhere, including across both of their shirts. Sokka looked over and cackled.

“(Y/N) made Zuko wet!” he crowed, making everyone else giggle at the pair.

“Shut up, Sokka!” Zuko laughed, chucking a kitchen towel he’d been using to mop up the mess on the floor. It hit the other boy square in the face, making a wet slapping sound against his skin. The group was nearly in tears at Sokka’s shriek of disgust. (Y/N) leaned heavily against Zuko to keep from toppling over.

“Can I borrow a shirt?” she asked of Sokka once she caught her breath.

“No,” he pouted. “Get one of Sifu Hotman’s shirts. We’re not friends anymore.”

“You are such a drama queen!” She rolled her eyes, still grinning. “You got a shirt I can borrow, Zu?”

“Yeah, sure.” He felt anxiety pulling in his gut as he led her to his bedroom. She followed closely behind, also feeling rather nervous but clutching his arm still as she wobbled. He tossed her an old t-shirt and, to his immense surprise and embarrassment, she’d already stripped off her soiled top when he turned to her. She giggled when his face went red and he quickly turned back around. Mumbling an apology, he started to pull off his own shirt.

(Y/N) stared as the fabric lifted, revealing a massive tattoo across the expanse of his muscular back. It was a beautifully intricate dragon done in red and black ink and its angry eyes seemed to follow her as she swayed on her feet.

“Whoah,” she gasped and stepped forwards.

He was about to ask what was wrong when he felt her fingertips ghost across his skin, making him shiver involuntarily. “I didn’t know you had such a dope tattoo.”

“I didn’t know it mattered,” he said, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of her tracing the lines. It was hard to tell whether it was the alcohol or her gentle touch that was making his head fuzzy and his skin feel hot.

“Of course it matters!” His breath caught in his throat when she slid her hands around to his front and hugged herself to him, resting her cheek against his back. “Tattoos are sexy and cool, and you’re already sexy and cool, so now you’re, like, extra sexy and cool.”

“You- you think that I’m sexy and cool?”

“And warm,” she sighed happily. He turned and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he cautiously settled his hands on her hips. He pressed his forehead against hers in an attempt to bring her face into focus.

“Well... I think you’re sexy and cool.” He hiccuped. “And warm,” he added after a moment of thought. She giggled at the way his alcohol-scented breath tickled her face.

“Hey, c’mere,” she whispered, squishing his face between her palms.

“I’m already here,” he murmured back, pulling her in by her hips anyways so their bodies touched.

“I have to tell you a secret.” He raised his eyebrows expectantly. “I wanna... smooch your face.”

Zuko wrinkled his nose adorably. “‘Smooch?’ You spend too much time with Sokka.”

“Why, you jealous?”

Yes. “Shut up,” he grumbled.

“Make me.”

That means she wants me to kiss her, right? She just said she wants to kiss me and “make me” always means “kiss me” in the romcoms and romance books. But maybe not. “How?”

(Y/N) laughed. “You’re cute when you’re dumb.”

“Hey!”

“What? You are.”

“I’m not dumb!”

“You’re a little dumb. What else do you need, a written invitation? An e-vite maybe? Do you want to RSVP? I’ll need to know if you’re bringing a-“ He cut off her teasing by pressing his lips to hers, squeezing her hips. She responded immediately and enthusiastically, leaning into his chest and threading her fingers through his hair. She hummed contentedly into his mouth when he slipped his hands down to grab her ass. When she pulled back he chased after her lips needily and she chuckled, patting his chest. “We’re taking a long time, they’re gonna get suspicious.”

“So what?” he muttered, pressing a kiss to her jaw instead and trailing more down her neck when she tilted her head to give him easier access. He was feeling awfully emboldened by the kiss and the considerable amount of liquid courage he’d indulged in. “Sokka introduced us with exactly this goal in mind.”

“I don’t know about exactly this goal, but that’s ‘so what.’ I couldn’t stand to see him so pleased with himself.”

He considered this and pulled himself with great effort away from his ministrations at her neck. “You’re right. He’d be unbearable.”

She looked up at him with bright eyes and swollen red lips and he wanted desperately to kiss her again. With a grin, she pulled his t-shirt over her head. He’d completely forgotten how they’d even ended up in his bedroom in the first place. “Put your shirt on and let’s go, hotman. I’m gonna kick your ass at blackjack.” She started to pull him by his hand towards the door but he yanked her back, catching her in his arms she stumbled.

“Don’t think we won’t pick this back up later, princess.” His tone made her gulp, eyes wide. He gave her a wicked grin and led her back out to everyone else as he shrugged on a new shirt.

“Finally! What took so long?” Aang said, a knowing look in his eyes.

“Don’t ask that. I don’t want to hear them talk about making out,” Toph huffed. Both Zuko and (Y/N) blushed in response, looking at the floor. Sokka started cheering and shouting and Katara punched him in the arm to get him to shut up. (Y/N) and Zuko squished in together in the empty spot on the couch as Suki started dealing playing cards. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pretended not to know how to play the game so she could tease him and show him how. They were so engrossed in each other that they missed the satisfied smirks all their friends were shooting each other.

A/N: whenever i add a read more cut on my laptop tumblr freaks out and deletes half the fic so. sorry lmao. anyways this makes me miss drinking with my friends. woulda hugged the homies a little tighter if i knew it was gonna be like this 🥺😪

TAGS: @theblueslytherin @beifongsss @coconutsaiyan @5sos-wdw @silverreading @the-lva-way @cupofnctea @khaleesi-of-assassins @bloomkings @pyromaniac-olive @lil-lex1 @sokkas--boomerang @cece-lives-here @coldlilheart @royahllty @astralsaf @not-a-glad-gladiator @damianwaynerocks @darkskin-buttercup @emogril @plutaars @duh-dobrik @harajukukitsune @kangaroobunny @harmlessoffering @rosetheshapeshifter @past-2am @welovediaaxx @dailytrashypanda @thenutellabreadsticks @sara5208 @whalerus @fanworrior @andrevvminyrd @travvestys @rosesandpines @cipheress-to-k-pop @starryzxko @justab-eautifulmess @mochminnie @whoevenfrickenknows @asianequation @booksandwonderlands @thesstuff @dekumiya @ya-fwiend-rainbow @spookities @394pitterpatterpotter394 @rockinearthbending-marauders @beardsplittler @kurt-nightcrawler @sifucuteness

[alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom]

Chapter VI: Blurry truth

This moodboard is just woww! Thank you to the moodboard-goddess @flowers-in-your-hayr.

a/n: This is the last and also the longest chapter.I want to thank everyone who read, liked and reblogged Hidden Desires. It was my first time writing and I really enjoyed it. THANK YOU so much for the great feedback, that motivates me a lot.

Pairing: ALEX x Reader x MARCO

Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees- Only Fan

Words: 5541 (omg, I hope you read it anyway haha)

Warnings: fluff, jealousy, smut & dom/sub in the middle, again fluff and a lot of sadness in the end.

Tags: @heavenly1927 @ivarhoegh

Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV - Chapter V

Summary:

Marco disappoints you again, Alex takes advantage of the situation and you doubt if you really know them. Will you give them another chance or leave Denmark forever?

You had your last day of work before your holidays and could leave earlier. You were very happy because you knew that the boys would also have free time the next week. You were hoping for a trip through Denmark.

You nervous and opened the apartment door, excited about their reactions.

"Hej, surprise, surprise, I'm at home." You said almosr singing it. You immediately noticed the beautifully set table. The white candles and gold-colored cutlery sprayed a romantic touch. The boys are usually very simple and plain, so this creativity really impressed you.

"Elskede, how nice that you are already here." Alex came out of his room. He always kissed you so soulfully, even when the kisses were short. You hugged him and put your arms around his neck and looked into his blue eyes, which enchanted you every time. He pressed your hip against his and rocked you slightly.

"I missed you. The table is so nicely decorated...-” You started but were interrupted.

"Hey Y / N, I didn't even know you'd come so early." It was a female familiar voice. Alex rolled his eyes and was clearly annoyed. You turned your head slightly and saw her from the corner of your eye. Clara. You were seething with anger. She was like a fly that keeps coming and you can't get rid of it.

"So nice that you can celebrate with us." She offered you a champagne.

"Thank you" You accepted the glass out of politeness.

"And what do we have to celebrate?" You asked confused and had to force yourself to smile.

" Our engagement, of course." You raised your eyebrow and had absolutely no clue what she meant. But you pretended you did, because you wanted to know what she had to say.

"Oh, exactly your engagement" Alex giggled. Your fake smile went away when you looked into Marco's face. He saw your anger, but didn't comment on anything.

,, Marco said he had already told you two about that. Don't you dear?” She looked at Marco with full conviction. You would have loved to tell her the whole truth and tell her what an asshole he is, but you kept silent and kept lying.

"I must have forgotten, I'm sorry. I congratulate you on your engagement. It's a shame I didn't notice anything about your deep deep love. But…you don't always have to be able to see everything. or not Marco?” You put particular emphasis on the word anything Your gaze was full of irony and you wanted to embarrass him.

Alex patted his shoulder and grinned. "You finally made the right decision, brother. Now everyone has what is theirs." Alex seemed to be enjoying the situation. He realized that your relationship with Marco was finally over. It was never the intention that Marco would fall in love with you. You put your hand on Clara's upper arm but kept distance.

“I wish you the best. But be careful sweetie, you know how charming our boys are. That would be tragic if he suddenly has another girlfriend and you don't even notice it.” You wink.

“I'm very lucky with Alex. He never lied and was always loyal.” You cuddled up to him and stroked his chest.

"I love you so much elskede" You kissed him deliberately, slowly and long, so that Marco sees it.

"I think we should sit down and eat." Marco felt uncomfortable and wanted to change the subject of conversation.

The mood was tense throughout the evening and Alex couldn't stand Clara talking anymore. He never liked her. Her childlike behavior annoyed you too.

Alex slid backwards with the chair and patted his thigh. "Elskede come and sit on my lap, I miss you when you sit so far away." You didn't have to think about the answer. Alex put one hand on your butt cheek and the other hand slipped under your skirt and placed it on your thigh.

,,So Clara you could stay here for the next few days. Y / N and I will go to see my parents tomorrow. " Alex smiled at you and stroked your cheek.

“I want to introduce them to this wonderful woman, my woman" He kissed you and his tongue gently brushed your lip. You didn't know anything about this plan, but the idea was great. Marco looked frustrated. He knew if his parents met you, you would become part of his family. And he ... he would lose you forever.

"You didn't tell me anything about your trip" He said briskly to Alex.

"It's not that relevant. We just tell each other the important things, right brother?” Alex looked at him angrily because he didn't know about the engagement either. Also, because Marco has never mentioned her lately. He didn't even know they were still together and now they are suddenly engaged. Alex looked at you like you were a goddess.

"I hope you are happy to see them too, elskede"

"It would be an honor." The joy could be seen in your face. For the first time you had the feeling that Alex was really serious about your relationship.

"Let's go into your room, I want to prepare my things for tomorrow and choose my clothes.” You drew circles on his chest with your finger and your gaze was directed to his crotch.

“Maybe we can spend a little more intimate time together.” Your hand slowly slid down his abs and your teeth sank gently into your lip.

"Can you remember the surprise when you blindfolded me? Maybe you can show me more of it." Your hand slipped under his shirt. It was a long time since you last felt his warm skin.

“Maybe you can tell me more about Ivar. I heard he is dominant and a little rude." Your lips were like magnets that attracted each other.

"He is much more than that" He whispered into your mouth. Clara moved closer to Marco.

"That seemed to have been a great surprise.”

“Oh yes, it was. It was very intense, I liked it. But Alex was definitely the best part of the whole surprise, I assure you sweetie." You looked briefly at Marco and noticed how he actually wanted to say something, but he couldn't.

"Honey, ask Alex what surprise that was, I want one too." She looked at him hopefully.

"Oh Marco knows exactly what surprise it was. He was there. You could really do that brother. You know how it works and you can definitely do it without me." You had to pull yourself together so that you didn't start laughing. Marco noticed exactly how malicious you were but did not allow himself to be provoked. You got up and leaned against the edge of the table.

“Let's go and leave them alone" You pulled his hand to make him stand up. He stood in front of you and and spread your legs with his thighs. Your skirt slid up. He grabbed your ass cheeks. He wanted to pick you up and carry you into the room.

"I think we should eat the cake now." Called Marco to stop him.

"I have another better candy in my room." Alex didn't look away from you and bit your lip. You had to giggle.

"We don't mean to be rude. Let's share a piece, okay?" You took the plate that Marco gave you. Your finger ran over the cream and made sure that Marco is watching you. Your lips wrapped around your finger licked the cream off.

"This taste reminds me of something." You said provocatively. Alex wanted to kiss the cream that fell on your thigh away, but you lifted his chin and rejected him.

"Not here, I can do it myself, thank you elskede".

You walked to the kitchen where Marco was standing. You hiked your skirt up and stretched your leg forward so that he could see your black lace panties and slowly wiped the drop away. You let your skirt down again and went close to his face, almost like you wanted to kiss him.

"You like to watch when I touch myself or not?" You whispered and touched his earlobes with your lips. You walked back to Alex and took him by the hand without a word and pulled him into the bedroom. You thought about whether you should close the door or whether you should leave a crack open. But you wanted to enjoy the time with Alex alone, so you closed it. You pushed him and he fell on the bed. You let your clothes slowly flow over your skin onto the floor. You removed your hair clip and your hair fell over your shoulder, lightly covering your nipples. Alex propped himself up on his elbows and admired your beautiful curves.

"So dear Ivar, show me your skills". You said demanding.

"Lie down here." He patted lightly on the middle of the bed.

"Put your arms up and stretch your legs" You followed all of his orders. He pressed his knees between your thighs. He took off his shirt and undid his zipper. You splayed your hands across his abs, feeling every single muscle. He lay down on you and pinned your wrists against the mattress.

"I said you should keep your arms up". He said firmly. His hand slid down your arm across your breasts and over your navel. He bypassed your pussy and touched your inner thighs. He reached around the back of your knee and knelt up your leg. You automatically lift your other leg and hooked both around his hip. He put his hand on your neck and gently choked you. His lips touched yours, but he didn't kiss you.

"Did I tell you to lift your leg?" He whispered against your lips. You tried to shake your head, but you couldn't.

"Lie face down and keep your arms up" You obey his orders without contradiction. Your pussy started to tingle. Not knowing what he was going to do, turned you on.He took your hair aside away from your face, so he could see your expressions. His warm skin on your naked back felt like a blanket.

"Say my name, slave!" His lips brushed your ear.

"Ivar" You mumbled against the pillow.

"Ivar what?” He said in a stern voice.

"My king Ivar"

“Good girl" He liked the way you submitted.He marked a trail of kisses on your back and bit your ass cheek. The slight pain made you moan briefly. Alex took off his pants and lay naked on top of you. His tongue ran over the back of your neck while his cock slide slowly up and down between your ass cheeks. You wanted it to slide into your pussy, so you lifted your ass up. Alex pulled your hair with one hand so that your face rose from the pillow.

"Are you disobedient again?"

"Fuck me". You begged him. He got off you and you thought it was over. You really wanted to have sex after the drama with Marco. You turned around and try to convince him, but he was faster. You felt the force of his hands on your ankles. He pulled you down until you were bent over the edge of the bed. You trusted him completely, so you were only frightened for a short moment and then immediately relaxed again.

“Now I have to punish you, slave” He knelt behind you and slapped your right butt. Your adrenaline level rose. He stroked your pussy with his cock and only sank the head of his dick into you. You closed your eyes and got goose bumps when it touched your entrance. You would cum quickly if his cock touched your walls. He wanted to tease you but actually he also teased himself. Alex bit back his moans every time when he felt your wet pussy. You tilted your head to one side, but he didn't see you. His gaze was directed up to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and bite his lower lip to control himself, at the same time he pressed his fingertips against your hip. You lowered your head and felt the tension in your muscles even more, it was so strong that it almost hurt. You just wanted to feel him, now, right now. You pressed your ass against his hip and his cock disappeared into your body, Alex groaned briefly but intensely. He held your hip firmly so that you couldn't bounce.

"I know you want that too." You reached under his palms and took his hands away from your body. He hardly gave any resistance. You knew if you stayed in this position, he would keep control of your movements. You turned around and pulled him back onto the bed. He leaned against the headboard and rubbed his dick. You crawled on the bed until you sat on his lap. You moaned at the same time as his cock stretched your walls and you began to ride him slowly. You hold on to his shoulders and tried to set a rhythm. You got warm and started to sweat but you didn’t care. Your ass cheeks pounded on his thighs and your pussy pulsed. Shock waves hit your body and you cried out his name like you never did before. You tried to keep the pace to made Alex cum too. You raked with one hand through his hair and felt his hard breathing on your throat. Your legs started shivering and you were slowly getting dizzy. His hands on your waist helped you keep the speed. His tongue brushed your hard nipples and you noticed how his moan got louder.

"I'm cuming" He mumbled softly against your chest and you increased the pace. He flooded himself into you. Your knees were already grazed and hurt a little. You stopped moving. He leaned his head on your chest and gave you a little kiss. You stroked the back of his head and gave him the kiss back.

You got off him and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going? Come back here!" He patted his chest muscle.

"I'm all sweaty" You were ashamed.

"I don't mind, get here immediately and show me that you love me too." He grinned and held out his hand.You lay down again with your head on his chest as he wanted. You were tired even though it wasn't late. You could have fallen asleep easily, but there was something you had to talk about.

"Can I ask you something?” You stopped caressing him.

“Yes of course, always” He was still drawing circles with his fingers on the back of your hand.

“Did you plan the trip to your parents in advance? Or did you decide that spontaneously today?" You were very happy about the idea, but at the same time it made you feel as if Alex only wanted to take revenge on Marco. It confused you and you needed to clarify it. You didn't want to stand between them and even less be the reason for arguing.

"You know, I've thought about this several times, but I never dared to ask you, because of Marco. I didn't want to be rejected, so i didn't bring it up. I already told my parents about you when you were in Copenhagen for the first time and they keep asking for you too. Marco is my best friend, but you belong to me and I don't want to share you anymore. I want you to be happy and I want to be the one who makes you happy.” A tear ran down your cheek and you were just speechless.

Alex noticed the silence.

"Hey elskede, why are you crying?" He wiped away the tear with his thumb and kissed your forehead.

“I love you” You were touched by his honesty. Would your relationship have been different if Marco hadn't been there? How would it have been if you hadn't had sex with Marco? You remembered as Alex looked you in the eyes for the first time, you were immediately enchanted by those piercing blue eyes and after the first kiss you felt a firework of emotions. You just never admit your feelings. Maybe the situation with Marco blinded you, maybe… But now…you were quite sure…Alex is the man you love, and nobody will be able to change that.

"I love you too" You smirked, and it went quiet for a few seconds.

"Ah elskede, one more thing…” You looked up at him.

“That was a very gentle and empathic Ivar" You giggled.

********

His parents lived in a small village outside of Copenhagen. The way there wasn't too long, but you got up early because you decided to have breakfast out. You already knew Marco's trick. As soon as you are alone, he would jump at you like a hungry lion. You didn't feel like seeing him, nor did you want to hear his excuses again. Alex couldn't stand Clara anyway, so you left the apartment quickly.

You arrived at your favorite coffee house. You always got your caramel-chocolate capuccino there before your shifts.

"I think we should move in together; we should have an apartment to ourselves. We could live a little closer to the hospital. The airport would also be closer." Alex commented with his mouth full.

"You know apartments are more expensive in this area, but we could have a look at a few when we get back, if you want to" You were a little skeptical, but it would be the best you could do to strengthen your relationship.

"Elskede, I've been crawling in the mud for years now and I didn’t do it because I was bored and you have one of the best paid jobs in Denmark. You know we can afford it". He raised his eyebrow and hoped you meant that as a joke.

You were never cocky, on the contrary, you were humble before you met him and wanted to stay that way. You were proud of Alex and what he had achieved, but you never bragged. There were few people around you who knew who your boyfriend was and that was on purpose.

Alex paid the bill, just like he always did when you were out together. You got in the car and drove off. You drove through a cute village with small brown houses as he slowed down.

"Our house is up there." Your heart was pounding and your ears whizzed. He parked in front of the entrance and got out. Since you arrived, he couldn't stop grinning, his joy was huge. Alex opened the car door for you. Your legs felt like jelly and you didn't dare to get out. You were sweating even though a cool wind was blowing.

"Come on elskede, they don't bite." He held out his hand to you.

"Oh, my boy, haven't seen you in so long." His mother came out of the house, she saw you through the window. She hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. You didn't know how to greet her, so you remained silent and waited for her to speak to you.

“Mom, this is Y/N.” He spoke in Danish, but that didn't intimidate you. You took his hand and got out of the car. You saw in her face how she considered whether she should speak English to you.

"We usually speak English, but if you speak slowly, she understands Danish very well.” She looked relieved. She hugged you and welcomed you. Your hands were still shaking and sweaty. She accompanied you into the house and you met his dad too. A very warm man with a lot of charisma. Now you knew where Alex inherited it from. Alex took the bag from your hand and carried the suitcases inside. His sister wasn't home. You felt good and your nervousness slowly disappeared. Alex went to his room to deposit the bags and you followed him. You were still too shy to stay alone in a room with his parents. There were a few photos on his desk when he was younger. Always these beautiful blue eyes, you thought.

"How long are we going to stay here?"

"Do you want to go again? Don't you like it?" He grabbed your chin and stroked it with his thumb. He looked sad.

"No, not at all, I didn't mean that. I want to see everything. Where you went to school, where your favorite places are, just everything." You approach him without leaving a centimeter free between you, your lips almost kissed.

"I told my best friend that we would be arriving today. He has invited us to his place tonight. What do you think?" He grinned at you.

"We'll be there. I love you." You gave him a quick kiss before you heard his mom calling.

"The meal will be ready soon." Your lips almost kissed. You went the stairs down. Alex was holding your hand, but you weren't too comfortable with it, so pulled it away before they could see it.

"It smells lovely, thank you for having me" You smiled at her. You all sat at the table together and you got a little homesick. You missed your family and your friends, but the warmth of his family covered that feeling for a brief moment.

"And how do you like Vikings?" She asked and was curious about your answer.

"So ... uhm ... shall I be honest?" You looked at Alex. You were hoping for a sign from him, but he was only focused on his food.

"I only watched a few episodes.” You blushed.

“But Alex told me what the series is about." You commented and hoped that they are not disappointed. You wanted to make a good impression, but you didn't seem to succeed.

"Really? So, you don't know him because of the show?" She seemed surprised.

"No. Maybe I really have to watch the series."

"You have to know that he kisses other women on the series. So, if you get jealous you have to skip those episodes." Her honesty intimidated you. You knew from Alex that his previous girlfriend couldn't handle his fame and they often argued because of it.

"I think I should get through that; we didn't know each other at that time." You said confidently. Alex told them, how you met each other and how you emigrated to Denmark. Of course, he skipped the Marco-part.

His dad patted Alex's shoulder. "She is a tough woman. I like her." You blushed.

The conversation was cut off by Alex's phone. You were relieved because his mom's questions made you more and more nervous. They got more personal and you didn't want to say anything inappropriate.

"I said we'd be there in an hour, is that okay for you?" asked Alex, who had previously spoken to his best friend on the phone.

"Yes sure." You hadn't heard Alex speak Danish very often, only when he was alone with Marco. Hear him speak longer sounded very erotic. His voice was just perfect for this language.

"Maybe from now on we should always speak Danish, even when we get home.” You were ready to fully integrate into the culture, you wanted to feel like a Dane and act like a Dane.It would probably be weird at the beginning, but Alex seemed enthused about it and that made you feel good.

You helped clear the table and clean up the kitchen. His father stood with you at the sink. He put the clean glass in the cupboard and stepped closer to you.

"You are always welcome here, consider us as your second family. Alex is a good man, treat him well." He spoke in a low voice. It seemed important to him to tell you that in private. You looked into his eyes and realized that Alex means a lot to him. A tear gathered on the edge of your eyelid.

"Tusind tak..." Your voice was suppressed by your emotions so you couldn't pronounce it clearly.

"Elskede, are you ready, shall we go?" His father smiled at you one last time. You took a deep breath, nodded slightly and left.

"Have fun and drive carefully." His mom stroked Alex’s back and closed the door behind you.

******

Alex had such a big smile on his face when he saw him standing at the front door. He got out and they hopped towards each other. They hadn't seen each other in months. You didn't dare to join them, so you leaned against the car door and waited.

"Heeey, who is that?" He leaned back slightly. He patted Alex hard on the shoulder once, that made him take a lunge.

"That's Y / N, my girlfriend" He waves for you to go over to him.

"She's really hot, good choice"

"Nice to meet you". You shook his hand and ignored what he said.

"Dude, why don't you tell me that she understands Danish." He said grumpily to Alex."I'm sorry for my rudeness, my lady, please come in." Alex laughed. "He has always been a very honest person". Alex put his hand on your hip and let you go first.You sat on the sofa and he brought beer. You're going to drive back, so you just drank a coke. You didn't say that much during the evening because they talked about video games or about other friends you didn't know or about things from the past."Let's have a cigarette." Suggested his friend. Alex was a casual smoker, so he went with him on the balcony. You didn't like the smell, so you went to the bathroom. You didn't hurry, so you checked your cell phone and saw a message from Marco."I know you're mad, but I can explain it. Everything I've told you is true, please believe me." You deleted the message without replying and walked out of the bathroom.

You went back the corridor and noticed the beautiful pictures on the walls. The drawings were silhouettes of naked women. You stop at each picture to look closely; they were very aesthetic. The guys hadn't closed the balcony door completely so you could overhear the conversation, while admiring these pictures.

"... maybe; but believe me she's not the right one. I know you Alex. Talk to Alicia againand the problem will be resolved. Alicia loves you, she was here once and asked for you.” Your heart started pounding, and you didn't want to believe what you heard. You were frozen and couldn't move or say anything. Tears ran down your cheeks without you being able to control. You felt a pain in your chest and a pressure in your stomach. You were determined to confront Alex with it, but when you stood in the room and saw them outside, you got scared. You tried to listen carefully again.

"You once told me that your kisses on set were real. Then go and show her that." His friend continued to encourage him.

It got worse and worse with every word. You took your jacket and ran out of the house. You don't know where to go but you just wanted to get away. A bus drove to the bus stop. Maybe that was a sign.

You got in and bought a ticket back to his parents' house to pack your things. Your eyes were red from crying and your scarf was wet from the dripping tears. The knot in the throat kept pressing and you felt like you were suffocating. You rang the doorbell and hoped that they wouldn't ask any questions.

"Hej Y/N, come in, where is Alex?" His mom asked surprised and looked over your shoulder.

"He's not there. May I go into the room for a moment?" You answer briefly without looking her in the eye. She took a step to the side to let you in. You quickly tossed your clothes in your bag and walked back down the stairs.

"I thank you so much for your hospitality, I felt very comfortable. It was an honor meet you." The tears in the eyes made you see blurred. You remembered his father's words and worried about what he would think now.

"But dear, where are you going? What happened? Why are you crying?" His mom stroked your arm and was concerned about your miserable emotional condition.

"It's time to go back home…my real home." She knew immediately what you meant.

You went out and looked back one more time. Her sad face made you intensify your feelings and feel worse. A taxi picked you up and drove to Alex's apartment. Fortunately, you had the key in your handbag. You went in and tried to ignore Marco, who was having sex with Clara on the sofa. You packed the rest of your things. Marco followed you through the apartment and tried to stop you, but you didn't want to talk to anyone. You left the keys on the kitchen table and closed the door behind you.

You wanted to get to the airport quickly, so you paid the taxi driver to wait for you. On the way there, you tried to cover up your grief with make-up. Your fingers feel paralyzed, you couldn't hold the brush properly.

You were standing at the check-in when Alex tried to call you for the fourth time, you ignored every single call, but he kept trying. You passed the passport control and you knew it was over now. It was a good time in Denmark, but you couldn't take it anymore. They both lied to you, several times. You never loved anyone like you loved Alex, but you just seemed to be his time- waster to forget Alicia.

Someone knocked loud on the glass partition. Since everyone was looking there, you had to turn around too to see what was going on.

“Y / N don't go! Please come back! Y / N! I love you! Do not get on the plane!”. It was Alex. He knocked the pane so hard that it could easily break in. It was difficult for you to just walk away and ignore him. The desperation on his face could not be overlooked. You sat down in the waiting area in front of your gate and watched how he tried to gain access to you. But it didn't seem to work. He argued loudly with the security guard and saw how he often pointed to the departure screen and tried to explain something to him.

The man stayed relaxed and that seemed to work.

He went up to you. “Excuse me ma’am. There is someone who needs to talk to you urgently. He said he won't calm down until you go to him. Do you know this man?" You didn't want to attract more attention and followed the security guard.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? Why are you leaving me?" He wanted to take your hands, but you pulled them away.

"Ask Alicia". You said it callously. You wanted to start crying again but you had cried so much before that you didn't have a tear to spare.

"Forget what he said. He likes Alicia, that's true. But HE likes her, not me. Yes, we had a relationship during the shoots, but that's history. I don't have any feelings for her anymore. She wanted to be with me again, but I didn't want to. Believe me, if I had wanted that, I would have done it a long time ago. " He wanted to stroke your cheek, but you turned your head away. You didn't want to be blinded by lies again.

“Well she’s still asking for you”. You insisted.

“Yes and after that she fucked with him.”

"When I saw you in the pub for the first time, I immediately had the feeling that you were special. There was another completely empty table that night, but I wanted to sit next to you. If you get on that plane now, I'll follow you. I'll go to the counter and buy a flight ticket. And if I have to sit on the floor, I'll fly with you. I can't let you take my heart with you. I love you. Please, we can build a new life together." He held back a tear and it was the first time you saw him cry.

He took your hand and bowed his head. "Please.." He said weakly as his tear fell on your hand.

You turned away from him and took your suitcase and Alex realized how you had made up your mind. He covered his face with his hands so that no one could see his sadness.

You took Alex’s hand to look into his icy blue eyes. “Let’s go home.” You squeezed his hand and he understood that you will never let him go again.

[detectiveidiotboy]

His Time In The Commonwealth IV: Danse

so as my beloved fanfiction, The Black Widow’s Waltz, comes to an end, i’ve decided that i am going to re-release the backstory chapters as their own stand-alone fic, since they read well as their own story. before that, i thought i might do a fun little thing where i release each of the companions backstories as their own post here on tumblr under the tag #his time in the commonwealth.

i had to take a break from posting for mental health and to deal with some things in my home life, but i'm back now! and with me comes the continuation of this mini-series. now, on to part 4!!! Danse's story.

The walk from Listening Post Bravo to Nordhagen Beach took three days. Had Danse been in top shape and traveling in his power armor, he was certain he could have made the trip in less than two, but speed wasn’t a priority in this mission; this was a pilgrimage.

It had been twelve weeks since his banishment, eighteen days since he’d last had contact with Nate, and seven since the Prydwen had been destroyed.

Danse had only learned about the attack the day before his journey began as he was attempting to trade with a nearby settlement. Nate had been his only source of supplies since he’d begun his self-imposed isolation, and since Nate had stopped showing up to visit, Danse had been left to ration his dwindling supplies until there wasn’t anything left to eat. He had considered allowing himself to starve to death down beneath the earth - continuing his existence was a waste of resources now that he wasn’t even able to serve Nate or the Brotherhood - but that plan only lasted two days after his last meal.

Nate had told Danse to stay alive. Nate had given him orders to care for himself until he returned because Danse was special to him. Danse understood what he was: he was a tool, a synth, a man-made creation meant to serve and obey humankind. If he could not be of use to the Brotherhood directly, then the next best thing he could do was dedicate himself to serving one of their best. Really, if he were honest, the idea of being Nate's personal synth wasn't unappealing to Danse. If anything, it wasn't fair to Nate that Danse be kept around to tempt him into violating Brotherhood rules. Sexual relations with machines was strictly prohibited, as was homosexuality, but Nate carelessly disregard both rules when it came to Danse, and Danse couldn't be more grateful. He was an abomination, therefore it wasn't his place to question a human such as Nate; Nate wanted him alive, and in good health, and because of that Danse had packed a bag with the few things he had to trade and walked to Tenpines Bluff.

As soon as Danse arrived, he was met with guns and suspicion.

“Stay back,” The settler warned, warding Danse back with the barrel of a rifle. “We don’t want nothin’ to do with you or your freak of a friend.”

Danse had been aware that Nate had a… reputation around the Commonwealth. He’d been a witness to several violent (bordering on psychotic) outbursts from the man. However, he had accompanied Nate several times to this particular settlement, and the people there had never been hostile before.

“I… am sorry for any confusion,” Danse said, licking his lips. He was severely out of practice after two weeks of near-total solitude, “Paladin Nate is not accompanying me at this time.”

The settler narrowed their eyes at Danse. “You…  don’t know where he is, do you?”

“I have not had contact with Nate in weeks,” He confirmed. The sights came down after a moment of deliberation and the settler sighed.

“Jesus, I’m sorry,” They stretched their head with a hand. “Look. You just missed your buddies, but you should probably keep clear of them - they seemed to think you might have teamed up with Nate when the ship was attacked.”

“Ship? Which ship?” Danse felt his stomach drop, the pieces of the puzzle having presented themselves yet he dare not assemble them.

“The big one you lot got up by Nordhagen,” They said, expression turning from tired to something almost pitying. “You really don’t know what happened? The whole ship was blasted out of the sky. Damn near everyone in Boston had to have seen it - what, have you been livin’ under a rock for the past week?”

“There was an attack on the Prydwen?” Danse asked, taking a panicked step forward. The settler adjusted their grip on the rifle and Danse reminded himself that even without power armor, he was a large and unfamiliar man to these people. “When? Who?”

“About five days ago, I think,” The settler said. “We just heard about it when the survivors came through and raided our supplies - grilled me and my wife for hours about everything we knew about Nate.”

Danse’s heart stopped beating, he was certain of it. Why would the remaining Brotherhood want to know about Nate? The answer was obvious, blindingly so, but Danse couldn’t bring himself to even think it. Nate was Brotherhood, through and through - it was not the place of an Institute machine to question the loyalty of a flesh-and-blood human dedicated to the betterment of humanity.

Swallowing, Danse forced himself to put on a brave face and ask his question. “Was Paladin Nate there at the time of the attack?”

The settler actually laughed, though the question wasn’t funny and neither was his answer. “Was he there? I’m sorry but if what your pals said was true, he was the one that blew the damn thing up.”

Danse had ended up leaving his supplies with the settlers. There was at least 250 caps worth of ammo and scrap in the sack, but it would just weigh him down on his journey. The settlers insisted that he at least stay for dinner and leave in the morning, but Danse saw the state of their garden after the Brotherhood had been through and politely declined. It would be a waste to force humans to part with anything valuable to sustain the functionality of an obsolete machine. He had completely forgotten his hunger anyways; all that mattered to Danse was finding out if what he’d been told was true.

By the time he was close enough to see the empty spot in the sky where the Prydwen should be, he had his answer. Travelers, settlers and raiders alike had confirmed the story with identical depictions of events. According to the few witnesses left, Nate had walked onto the bridge of the ship with a gun and, without speaking to anyone, began assassinating high-ranking members of the Brotherhood, starting with Elder Maxson. The bloody massacre ended with Nate walking into the engine room and detonating an explosion - one that most likely came from the very mini-nukes that Danse had helped Nate secure.

Danse had tried to withhold judgment - he should wait to hear what Nate had to say. The descriptions all came second hand, after all. The Brotherhood survivors had all either retreated or were being treated in what was left of the major settlements. And the description of Nate that he was being given didn’t sound like his friend, his trainee, his partner one bit.

Except…

When Paladin Danse first met Nate, he had been backed against the wall by several hundred feral ghouls threatening the lives of his scouting team. While he would likely be fine so long as the fusion core in his armor held, Hayen and Rhys were vulnerable. He’d already watched the ghouls descend on Keane, tackling the knight in waves. Danse had shot them down, but it was too late. Keane never came back up.

So when Nate walked into the scene, rocket launcher in hand, and blew half of the mob to dust before Danse could finish warning his team to check their fire, he had been inclined to ignore the sinister, psychotic look of glee that Nate wore as he ripped apart the ghouls. Hell, Danse had delighted in it, feeling his men had been avenged. The moment the battle was over and those steel-blue eyes locked onto his, Danse knew he had found someone special.

Nate’s reputation hadn’t quite formed yet, but from the handful of missions that Danse accompanied him on it was clear to tell he would make a fine soldier. He was resilient and a fast shot; anything that stood in his way he took down. It was as if the man was made for the Brotherhood.

Danse offered Nate knight-ship several times before he was taken up on his offer. Nate rarely came to visit when he was in Cambridge, and when he did it was almost always to trade or ask for spare jobs to make a few extra caps. It was only when the Prydwen came rolling through that Nate seemed to seriously consider Danse’s offer. It was strange - Danse feeling honored for Nate to join his ranks rather than the other way around.

Nate made him feel a certain way, something he hadn’t felt since Cutler. Danse could watch Nate fight for hours, muscles flexed under his vaultsuit as he clubbed in the head of a ghoul or gunning down a cluster of synths. His nights were often spent imagining exactly what it would look like if it was his neck that Nate was crushing between those smooth hands and not some random raider. It was foolish, and wildly inappropriate behavior as Nate’s sponsor.

Maybe that was what made him overlook some of the man’s more obvious flaws.

By the time Nate was inducted into the Brotherhood, his reputation as a ruthless and cunning man had become fairly well known. Maxson was willing to overlook Nate’s violent past thanks to a combination of Danse’s vouching and the fact that most of Nate’s targets were shared with the Brotherhood. He had infiltrated and collapsed the Railroad, dismantled the Institute's hold over Diamond City, and struck down the mayor of a mostly-ghoul city in east Boston. His methods were harsh, but they were necessary - at least, that’s what Danse told the Elder.

“Still,” Elder Maxson had said. “It’s best we keep an eye on him. I’m not sure if our new recruit’s heart is in the right place.”

“Believe me, sir,” Danse had told him, “I would trust Knight Nate with my life.”

“That may be so…” Maxson said, “but I still have my doubts. It’s best not to take the word of a known liar at face value, and Nate has quite the reputation of betrayal.”

The truth had been there the entire time. Danse recalled the first time he had met someone who knew Nate outside of the Brotherhood, a young woman by the name of Curie. It had been shortly after the destruction of the Railroad and just before his induction into the Brotherhood. She had seemed nervous around Nate, agreeing a little too quickly to what he said and keeping her eyes on him the entire time. Haylen had taken to her rather quickly, both girls having bonded over shared medical knowledge, and Danse remembered well what she had to say when asked if she liked traveling with Nate.

“Oh- o-oui… I mean…” Her fingers tightened around the cup of tea she had been sipping at. “Monsieur is… complicated, in his motives. I am sure he has good reasons for what he is doing… I simply must trust him. He has done so much for me already.”

Danse had felt her words were foolish. She was lucky to have so much of the man’s attention, and it seemed strange that she didn’t recognize that. Less than a week later Danse watched as Nate dragged her into an abandoned shack, barred the door, and set the house on fire. Later, Nate informed Danse that the girl had been a synth and that he was only doing as the Brotherhood instructed of him. Danse had been forced to agree - despite the vast wealth of knowledge that Curie held, her existence was far too dangerous to be tolerated.

The screams that came from the house as the woman burned alive haunted Danse no matter how many times he reminded himself they were from an artificial being. For a while he wondered if synths could simulate humanity so closely as to feel pain; he had his answer now, he supposed. That girl had died in agony.

The Nate described to Danse during his expedition to the beach was far closer to the Nate in those memories than the idealized soldier that Danse had stuck in his head. The Nate who had eyes like Cutlers and spoke to him as if he were human, even after his synthetic nature was revealed. The Nate who had kissed him in the center of the old radio station on their first official mission into the Commonwealth. The Nate who would disappear for months at a time and then reappear at a moment’s notice, ready to drag Danse along on whatever new quest had taken his fancy. The Nate who never slept in the same bed as Danse after he came around for a quick fuck. The Nate who was rumored to have murdered his girlfriend a year prior. The Nate who had set his previous partner on fire when he was done with her, then walked across the field to press a loving kiss to Danse’s lips as she died. The Nate who had promised Danse to be there for him after his exile only to leave him to waste away in solitude. The Nate who had destroyed the Prydwen.

They were all the same Nate.

When Danse finally made it to the airport, he was surprised by just how familiar it seemed. The carnage had been mostly scraped away by local settlers, leaving behind only the hollowed out remains of training camps and supply stations. The opportunity for a new settlement hadn't been lost on the local population; by the time Danse arrived there were already the makings of several homes under construction. Upon arrival Danse was recognized by his uniform and a handful of the new settlers offered him their condolences. He was shown the way to the resting place for those who had been recovered - little more than a mass grave dug behind the airport marked with scattered crosses and hung holo-tags. It was more than Danse had been expecting. The locals he had met in this area before had despised the Brotherhood with a passion - the fact that they hadn’t just left the bodies to rot while looting everything they could hold from the abandoned stores was a genuine surprise. He walked along the grave sights, checking the tags for names he recognized. He found several, but Haylen and Rhys weren't among them. Whether that meant they were still alive or among the hundreds of nameless casualties, Danse would never know.

Danse turned away gifts of food and offers for a place to rest. His body was at its limit, exhausted and starving, but anything put into it now would be a waste. All of this destruction and death was because of him; he was not the victim, but rather the perpetrator. Danse intended to answer for his sins against humanity.

After politely asking for a moment alone from the concerned settlers, Danse left to walk through the empty airport. He had hoped that there would be something left of the Prydwen on land for him to do this in, but the majestic ship was resting with many of her inhabitants at the bottom of the bay. So Danse found the next best place - the first-story storage area that had been cleared out. He retrieved his pistol from his jacket pocket and knelt down before pressing the end of the barrel to the hollow of his temple.

“I am asking for you to do the human thing here, Knight,” Danse pleaded, knees on the cold, damp ground of the listening post.

“And I’m telling you I don’t want to,” Nate had argued, stubborn as ever. “I like you, Danse, synth or not. I’m not ready to give you up just yet. I need you to stay alive.”

The words had felt so kind at the time. Danse, who was nothing more than a machine lamenting the loss of what it had never really owned, had leaned into those words. They became his anchor, his world, his reason- no- his excuse to keep on living. Looking back on them after seeing the graves of his fellow soldiers - some hung with the hats of squires who were too young to have been given tags yet - he saw those words for what they were: selfishness. Nate acted for his own sake. He served no one but himself, and he had used Danse in every conceivable way. What else should Danse have expected? It was the nature of a machine to be useful to those who took advantage of it.

Danse was a foolish, treacherous, malfunctioning thing, but the very last act he would commit would be a human one. If reincarnation was something that existed for synths, he hoped he would get a chance someday to be more than just a cheap imitation of humanity.

“You know, I’m not an expert with pistols or anything, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to put that end there.”

The gun dropped from Danse’s forehead. He unclenched his eyes and turned to face the newcomer.

“Mind your own business, Scavver,” Danse said wearily, though still managing to push through some of his commanding tone from a previous life, if only so he didn’t prolong this longer than necessary. He could already feel his resolve wavering.

“Aw, come on, man,” The person in the doorway stepped into the room, arms stretched out behind his head in a relaxed pose. A pair of mirrored sunglasses reflected Danse’s haggard appearance back at him. “Haven’t the guys around here had to bury enough bodies this week? Why add to the trauma?”

Danse’s eyes narrowed, but he did stand up and put this pistol back in his pocket. “You make an excellent point,” He said, headed for the door. “I will relocate myself to a more remote location as not to disturb the population.”

“Thaaaat’s not quite what I meant,” The man blocked the exit with an arm and refused to stand down, even as Danse towered over him. “Actually, I have a proposition for you - nothing weird - I promise-” He said, holding out his hands in a show of good faith. Danse used the opportunity to sidestep the stranger and walk out of the old hanger and into the hallway. The man scurried behind him. “So, I can imagine what is going through your mind right now - who is this guy? How did he get to be so handsome? Why doesn’t he want me to blow my brains out in an old-world aircraft hangar?”

Danse ignored the man, which did nothing to stop his ranting.

“In order - My name is Deacon, I moisturize daily, and I want you to join my super awesome resistance movement to take down the rat bastard known as the Sole Survivor of Vault 111-” Danse stopped dead in his tracks. “-though I suppose you were close enough to know him as Nate, right?”

Danse turned to look over the man - Deacon, as he claimed to be. He was bald, as evidenced by his ill-fitting wig sagging just enough to show his absent hairline. He was dressed like a civilian, but up close Danse could see the ballistic armor plates hidden under his flannel shirt. There was a look about him that Danse recognized from some of the scribes, specifically the ones who had been tasked with recon. His eyes twitched at Danse's every movement, and the slight tremor in Deacon's fingers pointed him in the direction of a pistol tucked into the stranger's pants line. In short - Danse’s summary of the man was that there was more to him than just a scavenger with delusions of grandeur.

Still, he turned back around.

“Even if what you are saying is true, I cannot in good conscience accept your offer,” Danse said, continuing his long walk. Deacon kept up pace beside him.

“Really? You’re still loyal to him even after he turned half of your buddies into flaming corpses?”

Danse felt rage hit him in a wave, but years of emotional control stayed his hand. Still, he faltered in his gait. “Nate is dead to me," He said with all the contempt he had left in him. "Should I have the opportunity I would gladly put that monster down myself. My issue is not with your cause, but rather with myself. I am a synth. Taking me into your organization would be too great of a security risk.

“Oh, right, that. Yeah, I already know about that, don’t worry,” Deacon said flippantly. Danse pushed open the double doors leading to the exterior of the airport, and despite letting the doors fall back on Deacon, the man kept following. “I asked a whole bunch of the Brotherhood guys if they wanted to join up, but most of them turned tail and headed back to the capital. But there was always this one guy who they kept mentioning, yeah? A pal of Nate's who turned out to be a synth. The guy was supposedly still running around in the Commonwealth, one M7-97.” Danse took a deep breath, hating every second he spent listening to this man speak. “That’s you right? See, I figured if I hung around here long enough I’d see you. Nate isn’t exactly… good to his friends when he’s done with them. And I’d say blowing up the Prydwen was about as done as done gets.”

“As stated, I am no longer affiliated with him,” Danse said, pausing at the water’s edge when he realized there was no shaking the persistent little pest. “If you are looking for intel on his current location, I have nothing to offer you. Last contact was precisely eighteen days ago at Listening Point Bravo.”

“Oh nah, I didn’t expect anything like that,” Deacon said, coming up beside Danse. He reached down for a rock in the sand and skipped it along the bay. “I just figured joining up with us might be a decent enough alternative to suicide.”

“It is not suicide, it is turning off a broken machine,” Danse clarified. He couldn’t see the man’s eyes, but he was almost certain that Deacon rolled them behind his glasses.

“Well, when that machine is sentient, we call it suicide,” He said with a sigh. “Look, man, I know what you’re going through, believe me.”

Danse’s eyes narrowed, no longer able to keep his contempt from his face. “How could you possibly know that? The Brotherhood was humanity’s best hope for a better future, and because of my malfunction its ranks have been compromised, possibly irreparably.”

Deacon fell down onto his ass, stretching out so his bare feet were caught by the waves as they lapped the shore. “I know 'cause you’re not the only one he’s stabbed in the back,” Deacon said, looking out across the water. “I was part of the Railroad.”

Danse’s neck snapped to the side, looking down at the man. His mouth opened in a prepared lecture about the folly of mistaking synths for human beings and the role of the Railroad in humanity’s doom, but he saw Deacon remove the sunglasses from his face and for the first time he was looking into the other man’s eyes.

“Nate took us out in the dead of night. No one saw it coming,” Deacon continued. “He was a new agent, but the higher-ups put a lot of faith in him, because someone they trusted had recommended him - me.” Deacon looked back towards the waves, propped up with his hands behind him. “Look, I’m not gonna sit around and babysit you. If you want out, there isn’t much I can do to stop you. But right now, I’ll be honest, the only thing keeping me going is revenge, and that’s a hell of a lot better than being dead.”

Silence fell between them. Danse had no idea what to say to all that. On the one hand, he was perfectly happy with the destruction of a dangerous underground movement such as the Railroad, and on the other, the parallels between his and Deacon’s story were not lost on him. Danse knew that the right thing to do was to decline Deacon’s offer - possibly even take the synth sympathizer down with him before he caused any more harm - and continue with his plan to terminate his existence.

But Danse didn’t want to die, or whatever one would call it when a synth ceased to be. And more than that, he didn’t want Nate to keep on living. There were hundreds of people on that ship - men, women, children . Not all of them were good, Danse was well aware of the unsavory types that were often attracted to the military lifestyle, but none of them deserved to die the way they did only to end up buried hundreds of miles from home in a mass grave.

Maybe it was selfishness, maybe it was revenge, maybe it was raw, human (or at least human-like) emotion, but Danse finally came to his decision with a decisive nod of his head.

“Okay.” He said. “Tell me what you need me to do.”

[introvertguide]

Star Wars: The Franchise

Back in the mid 70s around Modesto, California, it is doubtful that George Lucas could have imagined that his idea for a space opera would become the second highest grossing movie franchise of all time. There has been some questionable content, however, since the groundbreaking original, and the returns have not been as great. There were also some one-offs that a lot of the younger fans might not be aware of. For my own sanity and organization, here is a listing of all feature length movies in the franchise:

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1977) -

Definitely the most successful film (heck, one of the most successful films of all time) that made almost a billion dollars at the box office worldwide...in the 80s. Amazing. The story mimics the hero's journey as described by Joseph Campbell, giving it basically the most satisfying story imaginable. Nobody except for friend of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, thought it would be as successful as it was. This kind of popularity meant there was going to be some sequels and, since George Lucas was the man behind the whole thing, only one man was about to get tasked with future success.

Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) -

This was a TV movie that was made to cash in on the massive popularity of the first movie while the second one was in production. It is terrible. I generally try to hold back judgement and point out subjective opinions, but I think I can say that this made-for-TV movie is objectively bad. It is the equivalent of a variety show, a format which was popular at the time, and it was awful. It is widely considered to be one of the worst visual productions of all time. Just to give a hint of its awfulness, the movie follows the adventures of Chewbacca's Wookie family and they only speak in growls with no interpretation or subtitles. Laughably awful.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) -

Arguably the best of the films as far as story and plot, this film was actually directed by Irvin Kershner with a George Lucas story adapted to the screen by Lawrence Kasdan. This film is legitimately fantastic and not just new and fun. It is so well written and directed with the famous reveal between Luke and Darth Vader. It also is incredibly downbeat at the end that perfectly sets up the next film. I personally think this is the best example of fine film in the franchise, although it doesn't have as much big action and no giant space laser. Well worth watching and makes the third film a must see.

Return of the Jedi (1983) -

Well, not as good as the first two, but still pretty darn good. This film introduced the Ewoks and the Endor moon battle. Many fans thought that the introduction of living teddy bears was a mistake that distract from the story. What really made the film, apparently, was the whole sequence at the beginning that takes place at Jabba the Hut's palace and involves Princess Leia in a metal bikini. We also find out that Luke and Leia are twins, so that kiss in the second film suddenly becomes kind of awkward. This becomes kind of a theme from here on out: should we disavow canon or put in throwaway lines and scenes to cover things that were mentioned in previous movies. It plagues the prequels.

The Ewok Adventure (1984) -

I get a lot of garbage about it, but I love these movies because I grew up with them. They are not that great and the copy that I saw over and over had ads from the early 80s throughout. Heavy nostalgia. Also, some of the Ewoks were played by established actors from what is now called Episode VI, Warwick Davis as Wicket and Tony Cox as Widdle. It was a lot of fun, but definitely a higher budgeted TV movie. It did become so successful that it got a theater release as Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. This naming style stuck around for the spin off films that were made in the late 2010s.

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985) -

Hot dang, they made a second one with Wilford Brimley! Both of the Ewok films were thought up by George Lucas and sold to ABC. Both films were also given special Emmy awards for special effects. I can't fault either Ewok film as far as visuals since both got the ILM treatment. I have stated that I liked both of these movies more than some of the prequels, and I stand by that.

The Phantom Menace (1999) -

The next three films followed the first three episodes in the Star Wars saga and are now generally known as the prequels. They are also pretty widely hated. One reason for that was the introduction of young Anikan Skywalker (eventual Darth Vader) and his growing attachment to Lord Palpatine (Darth Sidious). The problem with the prequels is that it was a path leading to a result that had been established over 20 years ago in the first film. They also introduced a character named Jar-Jar Binks who was just awful. There was a great pod racing scene and an epic Sith vs. Jedi battle that really were the highlights of the film. The music was also pretty epic, but the film was otherwise not that great. It was completely made under the helm of George Lucas and fans were suddenly starting to wonder if he was the genius they had thought him to be. What I consider to be the best YouTube deep dive movie review of all time, a group called Red Letter Media made a seven part review that explains why the movie was such a problem. You can watch the first part and it will auto load all seven here:

(1) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review (Part 1 of 7) - YouTube

Attack of the Clones (2002) -

Alright, here is where things really start to go down hill. There is a fine actor by the name of Hayden Christiansen that is just awful in this film. He is given nothing to do for the most part. He is supposed to be this amazing Jedi general, but he spends most of his time walking around speaking in a very monotone voice. He does have some fun piloting scenes, but he is written as such a whiny brat. There are two epic battles (the coliseum and Dooku vs. Yoda) and we get to see a bounty hunter in action. It does seem like a lot of fan service glued together by boring politics and horrifically bad acting.

Revenge of the Sith (2005) -

This is widely considered the worst of the prequel movies and generally laughable at some points. There is supposed to be an epic lava battle at the end, but it is just a bunch of screaming about a failed bromance. We get to see the end of the characters in the prequel and set up the original movies...that were now almost 30 years old. It was unsatisfying and not even slightly worth the wait. It was at this time that George Lucas said that there would never be a seventh episode that would follow the original trilogy.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) -

There was a very compelling series of Star Wars shorts in 2003 made by Genndy Tartakovsky that did very well. George Lucas saw this and decided that a lot of the most interesting Star Wars events had occurred during the time between the prequels and the original series. Lucasfilm put out an animated movie to test the waters and it was so successful that 7 seasons of great animated adventures were made to show the epic battles that were supposed to take place between the second and third episode. I honestly believe that this was the very best space action of the entire franchise.

The Force Awakens (2015) -

George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise over to Disney and fans got a new movie that was never supposed to happen. Once Disney came on board, the brand became much more prolific. Until the pandemic, there were plans to put out a Star Wars movie every year for a decade. The first was episode seven and was made by J.J. Abrams. It was similar to the first film (episode IV) in so many ways that fans started to think it was just a remake. It even had a lot of the characters from the original trilogy. It was much better received by fans following the prequels and introduced a storyline that was not already spoiled by previous movies. There was a lot of unnecessary fan service for those who loved the original trilogy. This makes since because it involved Lawrence Kasdan, who helped with the screenplay for episode five and six from the original trilogy.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -

A full big budget release of a Star Wars movie that wasn't one of the episodes was an interesting idea. It was an entire movie to explain a throwaway line from the original 1977 movie. I lot of people died to get some plans for the big weapon in the first film and people wanted to know exactly how that happened. Actually they didn't. But Disney thought it was a good idea and it seemed like it would make a lot of money (it did). It gave the producers a chance to make a movie with new characters and only mentions of the famous story (this was important because the other actors where making the next episode).

The Last Jedi (2017) -

This was an interesting change of pace from the rest of the films because it seemed to drop the idea of the "chosen one" and say that anyone could be a Jedi. It is basically one giant escape story and is closer to Mad Max in space than it is to the other Star Wars films. It was given in full by Disney to Rian Johnson and it shows. This was the first episode film that had nothing in common with any of the production group from the original trilogy. No Kasdan, no Kirschner, no Lucas, all Disney. It was not very well received.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) -

The worst performing of any of the Star Wars live action feature length films, this was the story of Han Solo. That's it. There is not a lot of history about the character and he is so cool, fans needed to have a stand alone movie about his youth. That's a lie, Disney wanted a movie to come out between episode eight and nine. This was the best that the suits could come up with and it definitely made money, but it is lame.

The Rise of Skywalker (2019) -

Well, the movie completely helmed by Rian Johnson was not popular enough so there was a total retcon situation and this film basically picked up where episode seven left off. It was the same team from episode seven (since that film was so much more popular) and they made a final film that wraps up with a bow. Sort of. There was definitely room in the film world for more Star Wars movies to be made (it is owned by Disney) and I really don't believe it is finished as a franchise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just in case there are people who were nervous that this was the end of the franchise, there is currently a stand alone film called Rogue Squadron that is supposed to come out in 2023. Thank goodness. There was also the popular Mandalorian series on Disney +. But the franchise has been making huge films for almost 45 years now, so maybe it is time to stop. We have the MCU that has made almost twice as much money as the Star Wars universe, so most movie goers have picked their setting that they want to see. Maybe there could be a crossover (I am kidding, please no) and it would be the most watched film of all time.

[btsslowburnfic]

BTBY Chapter 14

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

Chapter Summary: Let’s have a throwdown in your hospital room

Previous chapter here 

-----------------------------------------------

You didn’t even realize you had been flirting with Namjoon so you move right along as though nothing had happened. “Ben! Oh my gosh. I was so worried about you. Come here,” you open your arms for a hug and he slowly walks over, pulling you against his side awkwardly.

Namjoon puts his hands on his thighs and stands up, giving Ben a nod of the head. “Well I’ll leave you two to it.”

“No man, you don’t have to go anywhere,” Ben responds, pulling back from you. “I’m sure [y/n] really appreciates having you here. Don’t you?”

Ah, the forced implied question that Ben now wants you to answer. You feel like he's being a little aggressive even though the words he’s saying seem friendly enough. You move along, “Of course. I do. Hey,” you turn back to Ben and shake his arm, “Where were you? We’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Xavier even went to the apartment. I was really worried.” You look up at him.

“Why does Xavier think he can just go to our apartment?” Ben deflects.

You laugh a bit, an awkward sound of disbelief. “Um because I asked him to. I thought you might be hurt or something. You know he and Joe have a key and house-sit for us all the time. Why are you being such a weirdo? Is it because Namjoon’s here?” You gesture over towards the chair side of the room.

Namjoon has been busying himself with looking at the ceiling, looking at his phone, really anything to distract himself from the sheer awkwardness in the room until he hears his name again. “I’m going to go ahead and grab dinner with Tae. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Oh, ok. Bye,” You say as he walks out. Ben just stands there, shaking his leg slightly. “Hey. This is my first time seeing you since I woke up from a coma. Why are you being such a weirdo?”

“Uh I don’t know? Maybe because you apparently found your soulmate in January and didn’t think to say anything to me. Not when you found out. Not when I proposed. Nothing.” He says, his voice tinged with anger.

You look up at him confused, “We agreed we didn’t care. Meeting my soulmate didn’t change how I felt about you so I didn’t think it mattered.”

Ben presses his lips together, “Did you tell Xavier?” He raises his eyebrows, as though he doesn’t already know the answer.

You scoff, “Why do you keep bringing Xavier into this?”

“You always bring Xavier into everything,” he retorts.

“He’s my best friend. I’m not going to justify the conversations I choose to have with him, or the fact that he has a key to our house when you and I both agreed on it last year. You keep making this about other people.” You are starting to become angry. And your head is beginning to throb. 

“You know what. Coming here was a bad idea.” Ben says, backing up to the door.

Your head hurts so bad. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, ok? I just didn’t want it to change anything between us. I love you. I don’t love Namjoon. I barely know him. Why does it matter so much to you?.”

“It just does. You should have told me,” he raises his voice. “I’ve been operating under this assumption that everything was the same for 6 months.”

“Everything is the same!” you yell. You also push the morphine button a bit. This is way too much activity for today. Your heart rate and blood pressure monitors are also beginning to climb.

“It’s not! I can't believe I sat by your bed for 3 days waiting for you to wake up.”

“Oh really? I’m sorry, did you have somewhere else important to be? Sorry me getting fucking run over was such a big inconvenience for you.” You can’t believe you are having this argument. You especially can’t believe you are having this argument while you are in a hospital bed with an IV still attached. You begin to get grey spots in the periphery of your vision.

“How did he know to come here, huh?”

You shake your head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“How did that guy, Namwhatever, know to come to this hospital? Did Xavier tell him?”

“Jesus Christ. It’s all about Xavier again. Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t know how he knew ok? I didn’t ask because it doesn’t matter to me.”

“You’re so fucking selfish. You think you can have me and a soulmate? You think I should keep sacrificing my time for you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? WE SAID WE DIDN’T CARE. I MEANT IT.” You are beginning to feel your eyes get wet and you can hear the beeps ever increasing on the machines next to you.

Ben gets closer to you, you have never seen him so angry before. “You don’t fucking understand anything...I could have been…” 

“Hey. I think that’s enough Ben.” You hear Namjoon’s deep voice in the room again. “You’re screaming at a girl who just woke up from a coma. She’s clearly in pain. If you want to argue with someone, argue with me.” His voice remains calm and steady even though he feels his hands shaking with anger and hides them behind his back.

You just sit there crying and trying to get your breathing back under control.  Oh God, is there going to be a fight in your hospital room?

Ben turns to face Namjoon, his voice calm and icy. “I’m sorry, did anybody ask you to be here?”

Namjoon looks past Ben and over at you, trying to assess what you want to happen. “No, but I don’t think anyone asked you to come in here and scream at [Y/N] either. She literally just got out of a coma.”

“Fuck you dude. I don’t know you. She doesn’t really know you either. No one asked you to come here.” Ben responds.

“Just stop.” You say from the bed. Your head feels like it’s exploding from the inside out. “Ben I want you to leave.”

“Excuse me?” He turns back around.

“You’re being a dick. Just leave.” You say and it sounds more sad than angry. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you. Just be mad at me. It’s fine. I don’t care anymore.” The morphine is starting to kick in and your eyelids begin to close.

Ben rubs his hand along his jawline, opening and closing his mouth a few times while trying to form thoughts.

“Look, I’m sorry she didn’t tell you.” Namjoon, ever the diplomat, tries to smooth things over.

“Yeah whatever.” He throws his hands up in the air, “she’s all yours dude.” He walks out, purposefully bumping up against Namjoon’s shoulder on the way out. 

Namjoon sighs and walks back over to the chair he’s called home for the past few days. He had been riding down the elevator when he suddenly became overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and fear. He also started to get a killer fucking headache so he figured he should come back and see if everything was ok. He had tried to respect your guys’ privacy right up until he heard the vitals monitors pace continue to climb. When Ben started to yell at you and call you selfish, Namjoon had had enough. Ben clearly had some shit going on. Your soulmate had only known you for a short period of time, but he knew that was one thing you weren’t.

Namjoon took out his phone.

[NJ]: Well Ben showed up. 

[X]: That’s great, finally. Where was he?

[NJ]: No idea. He wouldn’t say. And not great. He screamed at [Y/N]. Is this normal for them?

[X]...............

[X]: I am going to fucking murder him. I am going to run over him in a car, put it in reverse, and do it again. 

[X]: I’ll be over there in a while, I have two more classes to teach. Rafael should be there soon also. Thanks. I’m so fucking angry.

Namjoon kept scrolling through his phone. A nurse came in to check on you. “How’s she been doing?”

He smiles politely and looks up. “She’s ok. She had to use some of the morphine earlier, she got a little upset.”

“Well that’s understandable. Poor thing’s been through a lot.” The nurse takes down some information and steps back out.

Namjoon texts Tae to confirm their dinner plans and then begins to play a movie on his phone.

About an hour later, Rafael shows up. “Hey.” He says shyly. “I don’t know if we really met last time you were here. I was the sound guy for you guys.”

“Hi there,” Namjoon stands up. “Namjoon. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Rafael,” the two shake hands. 

Namjoon can tell Rafael isn’t much of a talker, unlike your friend Xavier. 

“If it’s ok with you I’m going to take off to go meet my friend for dinner.”

“Of course. Thanks for coming to support [Y/N]. I know it was probably really hard for you to make it here.” Rafael says thoughtfully as Namjoon heads towards the door.

“It was no problem. I’m glad I came,” Namjoon responds. And to his own surprise, he actually means it. NEXT CHAPTER

Tag list: @calling-dips-on-j-hope  @ghostkat23  @cuteipat @marianeamine  @thisisval    @almonte12  @themisunderstoodblackswan​  @bobbyboops​

[neeswords]

Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader

Requested?: no

Word count: 2393

Authors notes: I hope you enjoy it. If you would like a personalised one please do ask! have fun reading! I have also a promt list :)

Trigger warning(s): bad language

Summary: Y/N have been partners for a while now and Adam has this new girlfriend who doesn't get along with Y/N. It causes a wedge between them.

Promt: (6) "You were suppose to be my friend. That's all... that's all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care."

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You and Adam have been partners for nearly 2 years now and it feels like everything has reached rock bottom. You were in intelligence before Adam, he joined about 6 months after you did. When he came you welcomed him straight away. You had an instant bond. You and Adam had this promise; whenever there was a bad case you would both deal with it together, you wouldn't suffer alone. And that's what you did, you leaned on each other. After a bad case you'd both go to mollys and have a beer and talk. Its what made you great partners. It comforted both of you. Just each other's presence was enough.

Adam has started dating this girl called Paige. You've met her a couple times at mollys and it is safe to she that she despises you. At first she was so sweet, she came over to you and introduced herself and was so polite. Then she saw you and Adam laughing together and from that moment she decided to not like you. You had to be okay with it. She made Adam happy and all you care about is Adams happiness. You just wish Adam would still be there for you. You missed him.

You'd just finished a very quiet shift with Adam and the team and all of you decided to head to mollys. Once you arrived Paige was already sat there waiting for Adam. You didn't want things to be awkward so you went to the other side of the bar. "Stella can I have a beer please" you smiled at her. "Coming right up" she said enthusiastically. Stella always gave off a good vibe, she just makes everyone smile. She gave you your beer and then went to talk to Severide. You were sat at the corner of the bar alone. You were tempted to leave but you didn't want people questioning why. "Detective Y/L/N I haven't seen you in a minute how are you" you looked up for your eyes to meet with Chief Bodens. You smiled " Chief hi, I'm good thank you! How have things been at 51?" You and the chief sat and had a convocation about life and work. You kept glancing over at Adam he was with the rest of the team. They loved Paige so what could you do? "Why aren't you with them?" Boden curiously asked. You didn't know how to answer so you picked up your beer and drank. Boden just looked at you. You were trying to form the words to say that you missed Adam but instead your emotions took over. Your throat got tight and you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes. You looked up, trying to make sure they wouldn't fall. You were too late they were already streaming down your face. You looked back at Boden "I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm crying, I'm just tired I promise." You said with your voice slightly breaking. Boden gave you a small smile and placed a hand around your shoulder. "51 will always be here for you. Any time. You and Ruzek are close why don't I call him over and—" "no" you quickly interrupted the chief. "I mean thank you Chief it means a lot but I'm fine really, I'm just gonna head home and sleep." You said with the best smile you could put on. The chief looked confused but he understood that you didn't want to talk "goodnight Y/L/N." He softly said.

Once you got home you lost it. You fell down against your door and just cried. You were loosing Adam. No you had lost him. You felt betrayed and alone. You had no one to talk to. Adam hasn't spoke more than 2 words to you since he met Paige. It really hurt you. You then did what you told Boden. You went to sleep.

You must have been asleep for about 2 hours when you hear a knock at your door. You put on a robe and went to the door. You reluctantly opened it to find Jay Halstead. Other than Ruzek you were close with jay. He trusted you and you trusted him. You had a great friendship. "Hey" he said softly with a little smile. "Hey" you replied whilst moving to the side so he could come in. "Is everything okay?" You asked. Jay just looked at you. "Y/N we saw you at the bar. Once you left me and Atwater went to speak to the chief he said to check in on you. I should be asking you if you're okay." You didn't answer instead you went and grabbed a glass of water. "Want one?" You asked jay. He shook his head. "Y/N/N come on talk to me. You know I'm here for you. You're family. You've been here for me since you joined. So let me be here for you" he said with a smile. "Jay nothings wrong really I just— I— er— ugh" you took another mouthful of water hoping that it would turn into vodka so you'd never have to answer. "I miss Adam" you blurted out. Jay looked at you and said " what do you mean you miss him? You saw him today" jay then looked liked he solved a case and his answer was "ohh". You looked at him puzzled. "You're jealous of Paige" Jay teased. You rolled your eyes "I am not" you immediately and defensively said ."sure" jay laughed and gave you a quick hug. "Y/N he's fooling nobody but himself if he thinks that Paige is the one for him. The whole of Chicago knows that you two are meant to be. Try talking to him. Just tell him you miss him" jay suggested. You pulled back from the hug "jay I don't like him in that way, I just miss how things used to be between us. And it doesn't help that Paige hates me" Jay burst into a fit of laughter. "Damn you are both foolish you are in loveee. And please, let Paige hate you! Name one of us who actually like her."Jay then got a call from Will asking for him to pick him up from the hospital. Once he left you decided to head back to bed.

The next morning you stopped off at a coffee shop before heading into work. Ruzek was at the door of the district waiting. You predicted that he was waiting for Voight. You went to walk straight past him when he stopped you and said "really? Not even a good morning? Wow she was right about you" Ruzek mumbled the last part but you still heard. You were confused to say the least. "Excuse me?" You turned and asked him. "What the hell is going on with you. What was last night about? You went and sat on your own you didn't even make an effort with Paige. She's getting offended by all of this nonsense you know. Then Halstead rang me last night you know." Adam then got this pissed off look on his face. "YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE ME ALONE AND SAD DONT YOU. YOU TELLING JAY PAIGE HATES YOU. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOS BEEN A BITCH. YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT RUDE TO PAIGE. THE MESSAGES YOU SENT HER WHERE EXTREME BUT NOW KEYING HER CAR! YOU'VE GONE TO FAR! HOW WAS I EVER CLOSE WITH YOU?!" You had never seen Adam this angry before. You had no idea what he was going on about but he clearly had no interest in listening to you. You didn't say a word, you just walked into the district. You didn't bother saying good Morning to Trudy, which is something you always do. You just walked straight up to intelligence. You didn't want to face anyone so you just went straight to the locker room. You couldn't cry, that's what started this. So you just stared at a locker. You snapped out of it and looked up to see Jay stood at the door. "Y/N I'm—" you instantly barged passed him.

You made your way to your desk and just sat down clearly in a mood. Voight then came out his office announcing that we have a case. "Ruzek and Y/L/N I want you both at the crime scene see what you can find. The rest of you talk to your CI's see what you can find. You rolled your eyes and made your way to your car. Adam got into the passenger side without saying a word. You both sat there silently. You arrived at the scene, you couldn't take it you had to say something. "Adam I don't know what you think I did but I didn't. Last night was uncalled for you're right. I should have made an effort i just— I didn't want to bother you. I was sat with Boden just having a convocation I don't know what came over me I was just tired that's the only reason I cried. But do you know what else Is uncalled for? You talking to me like that. You were suppose to be my friend. That's all... that's all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care. I don't want you to be alone and I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm so sorry. You said with your voice breaking. You didn't wait for Adams response you just got out the car and viewed the scene. You got what you needed and went back to the car. You faced another silent ride back.

Once you got back to the district Adam immediately got out your car. You stayed in there to have a moment alone. After about 10 minutes you got out. You went to walk past Trudy when she stopped you. "Detective a word". You went to her. She looked at you and said "are you okay?" You nodded and made your way upstairs. You had reached your limits. You didn't know what to do anymore. You felt like you had no one. Adam wasn't there you had no idea where he went.

You were going through some possible suspects when Adam comes upstairs with Paige. He had to be joking right? Jay immediately looked at you. 'Y/N you are a detective for goodness sake grow some balls and stand your ground' you thought to yourself. "Paige can I have a word please" you finally built the courage to say. "Y/N whatever you have to say ,you can say it in front of everyone." She bitchily replied. "Fine" you mumbled. You were about to loose it. "I don't know what I did to piss you off. I really don't. But I am tired of this bullshit. I've apparently been nothing but rude to you so you know what I'll live up to it. YOU ARE FULL OF NOTHING BUT BULL. SO IVE APPARENTLY KEYED YOUR CAR, BEEN RUDE TO YOU. DID I MURDER YOUR FAMILY TOO? Paige I'm tired of this tell him the truth." You said. Out of the corner of your eye you could see jay smirking. Voight was also in the room so you expected him to say something but he didn't. "I-I" was all Paige said when Adam stepped in. "Paige I brought you up here to apologise to Y/N." Paige turned to Adam with her mouth wide open. "Well go on then" was all Adam said. She flicked her hair and left. On her way out she shouted "Adam you and I are over!" Adam just smiled.

You were  still so mad at him so you left the room too. You walked into the locker room. You just sat on a bench with your head in your hands. You felt someone's presence walk in. You then felt a hand on your back. You looked up to see Adam. "I'm surprised you didn't start swinging fists out there" he joked. You weren't in the mood to laugh but you still cracked a smile. You looked at Ruzek "Adam I'm sorry, I reall—" he interrupted you by crashing his lips onto yours. You were so mad at him but you couldn't resist him. You kissed back. Your lips moved in perfect sync when eventually you pulled away. You looked at him and he still has his eyes closed. "Screw it" you mumbled. You straddled him and placed your lips back on him. You were both sat making out on a bench in the locker room. After a while you pulled away. "Adam I don't think we can go back to being friends. It's too complicated" Adam smirked "good i don't want to be your friend" he said then pecked your lips. He laughed at your puzzled face. "Your little speech to me in the car hurt me. I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. You have always been my person. You will always be my person. I have a lot of making up to do and I will but just know that I really am sorry Y/N." You smiled at him and kissed his cheek. You went to get off him when he pulled you back down and said "I don't want to be friends. I want to be more" you didn't know what to say. Luckily you didn't have to say anything because Halstead walked in. "Woah that was a quick make up erm I'm gonna—" Jay was about to leave when you stopped him "jay hold up. I'm sorry about being blunt earlier, I know you were just trying to help" you gave him a hug.

The 3 of us made our way back into the office. Atwater breaks the silence and says "so are you back to being friends now?" You looked at Ruzek and smiled. "Nope. I think we might be more than that"

[ellewritesathing]

Faking It  -  IV

Summary: You’d done plenty of dumb things in your life, but the dumbest had to be picking Greendale’s latest bad-boy to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 4

Word-count: 3.4k+

A/N: this gif has nothing to do with this part but i thought it was cute and couldn’t find a kitchen gif that fit. hope you enjoy the drama lmao 💕

Of all the ways you saw taking Caliban’s hand the day you met, you hadn’t anticipated the very obvious outcome: that you’d develop feelings for him. Actual, real, not fake feelings. But it’s not like it was your fault - no, you blamed the blonde asshole himself. They just didn’t make guys like him in Greendale, so he completely blindsided you by being … well, himself.  

He was intimidating enough that other guys left you alone, and - even though plenty of people found him as charming as you did - he made it very clear that he had no interest in any of them. He was infuriatingly good at everything he did and he looked good while doing it. He laughed at all your shitty jokes and actually listened to you when you spoke. How the hell were you supposed to not be attracted to someone who would sit with you while you worked on your art projects and quote poetry in an offhand effort to distract you? 

Who the hell could even quote poetry in real life? 

Not you. Not anyone that you’d ever met. 

Caliban was just different in all the ways that made your heart race. 

The fact that your friends liked him didn’t hurt either. Harvey still rolled his eyes whenever Caliban showed up or made the others laugh, but his anger must have subsided at least a little because you’d caught them joking around between practices. Theo loved Caliban; the two of them had inside jokes, knew each other’s lunch orders, and partnered up for chemistry. Roz would read a book and annotate it before handing it off to Caliban to read, and she liked that Caliban made you smile. Sabrina liked having someone to do dumb and borderline illegal stuff with. They liked him, and now you liked them. The fuckers. 

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?” Sabrina asked, nudging you with her elbow. “You’ve been staring at the baseball field for like five minutes.”

“Of course I’m listening,” you lied. You sat up straighter and tugged your clothing back into place. “Quite frankly, I’m insulted you’d think that I wasn’t paying attention to The Great Kinkle Family Reunion.” 

Sabrina tilted her head and smiled politely, that’s how you knew trouble was coming. “Then tell me what you should do when Uncle Tristan starts talking about horses,” she said. 

“Uh …”  

“Exactly.” Sabrina laughed and looked down at the field where Harvey, Theo, Caliban, and the rest of the team were running laps. “I’ve been to every family get together since I met Harvey, and they all end horribly. Caliban’s mom was really sweet to host one, but she’s in way over her head. Have you met her, by the way?” 

“No,” you said. You couldn’t tell if that was weird or not. Were fake girlfriends supposed to meet their partner’s mothers? “But I’m kinda surprised she’s doing this given everything I’ve heard about her and the Kinkles. They weren’t exactly the most supportive of her.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know why Harvey’s such a sweetheart when the rest of the family is … It was probably Tommy, now that I think about it,” Sabrina said. She shook her head and turned to look at you before taking your hands in hers. “I just wanted to check-in and make sure you’re ready for this.” 

“Brina, I can handle this.” You squeezed her hands reassuringly. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve got a pretty mean right hook. Ask Colin Anderson. If there’s a fight, I’ll be golden.” 

Sabrina laughed and let go of your hands. “I’m trying to prevent that fight, but good to know.” 

You laughed and bumped her with your arm. “Looks like practice is letting out. You wanna head down?” 

“Nah.” Sabrina put on her brightest smile and waved down to a very tired-looking Harvey. “Let them de-stink first.” 

---

After two weeks of prep and cover stories, the day of the Great Reunion was here. You’d woken up disgustingly early in order to get yourself together and drive over to Caliban’s to help them set everything up. 

You weren’t sure what you expected their house to look like, but clashed with the black BMW parked in the garage. It was a sweet, two-story house with a wraparound porch and balloons in the front yard. The house was painted a soft sunshine shade of yellow and had rocking chairs, hanging plants, and rose beds in the front. It was the picture-perfect house for anyone other than Caliban, but it still fit. 

Different. 

Gathering up your nerve and the rest of your belongings, you made your way to the door and pressed the doorbell. The tiny pothos plant felt as awkward as you did while it sat in your hands and waited for someone to open the door. 

Thank God it was Caliban and not his mom. 

He smiled amusedly at your plant before looking up at you. “Is that for me?” 

“I know it’s a lame gift but I didn’t know if your mom was allergic to cut flowers and I’m not old enough to buy her wine,” you said in a rush. You frowned slightly and tilted your head. “Well, not legally at least.” 

Caliban laughed and reached out to take one of your hands and lead you inside. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” 

You didn’t know what else to say as Caliban led you to the kitchen. The house was as much of a surprise inside as it was outside, and it smelled like freshly baked bread. It was colorful and covered in old photos. He seemed very at home here and lighter than you’d ever seen him elsewhere. No, not lighter. Happier.

“Wait.” You stopped dead and let go of Caliban to reach out for a photo of the cutest little boy with missing front teeth and a mess of blonde curls around his dirty face. “Is this you?” You couldn’t help the laugh that came out when Caliban looked pained at your discovery. “Aw, Abercrombie, you were so cute! What’s on your face?” 

Caliban sighed and took the photo out of your hand, looking embarrassed for probably the first time in his life. “I was seven years old and I liked eating chocolate. Is that a problem?” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” a woman said as she rounded a corner and laughed. She had the most beautiful long, brown hair and kind eyes. “You didn’t just like chocolate. If you came anywhere near it, you used to eat yourself into a sugar coma. I couldn’t bake anything around you without you eating the batter before it even got into the oven.” 

She laughed and ruffled Caliban’s hair before smiling at you. You didn’t know anyone could ruffle his hair without losing a hand. 

“You must be the lovely new girlfriend I’ve heard so much about,” she said. “I’m Isobel. Is that for me?” 

Isobel pointed at your little pot plant and jolted you back to life. “Uh, yeah,” you said and held the plant out to her. Her hands were warm as she took the plant from you. “I wasn’t too sure what to bring but I didn’t want to come empty-handed.” 

“Oh, not at all. This little guy is perfect!” Isobel lifted up the plant to look at it. “I’m going to give him some water and put him in the front. Do you guys want to get settled in the kitchen so long?” 

“Of course,” Caliban said with a gentle smile. His mom gave him another playful bump and disappeared into some other part of the house while Caliban held a hand out to you. “Shall we?” 

“Who are you?” you teased with wide eyes as you took his hand in yours.

You followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar. They were here for maybe a month and their house already felt like more of a home than yours ever did. How they afforded it all, you had no idea, but Caliban never spoke about his birth dad and you didn’t want to push. All you knew was he gave Caliban his blonde hair and bone structure, nothing more and nothing less.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sight of Caliban in a sunflower printed apron. Clearly, your efforts to contain your amusement weren’t nearly as stellar as you thought they were because Caliban raised an eyebrow at you over all the baking supplies on the counter. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked. 

“I didn’t peg you for an apron guy is all,” you said with a small shrug, doing your best to sound nonchalant and not totally, completely chalant. 

“I don’t like getting my clothes dirty,” Caliban said defensively. “Without an apron, anything can stain your shirt.” 

“I think I’ll take the risk,” you said as you tapped the counter. “I trust myself and don’t think anyone’s going to splatter batter on me.” 

“Batter, maybe not …” Caliban tilted his head to the side. “But flour?” 

“Flour?” 

Before you had the chance to ask what he meant, Caliban threw a handful of flour at you. He laughed at how shocked you were and you took that opportunity to reach across the counter and throw some flour at him. Soon enough the two of you were running around the kitchen, covered in flour, and laughing until your sides hurt. 

Caliban wrapped his arms around you and scooped you up, ignoring your pleading and cries that were cut short by laughter. You were still mid-air with Caliban’s face close to your own when Isobel came back. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Isobel put her hands out to get your attention. “We have guests coming in an hour and the two of you are making a mess in my kitchen.” 

Caliban set you down, but the two of you were still tangled up and filthy. You didn’t know what to say to the woman you’d met fifteen minutes ago and whose kitchen you’d subsequently ruined.

Isobel laughed and shook her head. “It’s my own fault for leaving this one unsupervised,” she teased, pointing a finger at Caliban as she made her way around to start cleaning up. “Go clean yourselves up. Come back when you don’t like friendly ghosts.” 

Luckily for you, flour was relatively easy to get out because you weren’t wearing dark colors for once. It took a while to get it out of your hair and make it look presentable, but it was hard to be too mad at the mess when it was such a fun time making it. 

When you got back downstairs, you could hear people laughing and talking in the kitchen. It was still too early for guests but it was clear that it wasn’t just Caliban and his mom. 

You were right. You rounded the corner to find Caliban freshly-changed, his mom kneading some dough, and a very pretty redhead with big doe-eyes all laughing at some inside joke. It made you feel painfully other. 

“Oh, Luce,” Isobel said when she noticed you come in, waving you over. “You have to meet Caliban’s girlfriend. She’s a gem.” 

Luce ... As in Lucy? Lucy from California? Harvey’s first crush? Lucy. 

This was going to end badly. 

Lucy tilted her head as she turned to look at you. You could see the gears turning in her head as she looked you over. “Girlfriend?” she asked with a friendly (but fake) smile.

“The one and only,” you said with an over-confident smile as you walked over and interlaced your hand with Caliban’s. You wrapped your other hand around his arm, just like the first day you met. You introduced yourself with a friendly yet fake smile of your own. 

“You guys moved up here a few months ago and Caliban’s completely forgotten about me,” Lucy teased to Isobel. She moved some hair out of her face and looked over at you again. “He used to tell me everything. We were like this.” She crossed her index and middle finger over each other with a smile. 

You’d have liked to show her one of your fingers. 

But you didn’t. All you did was smile and make some polite conversation while not letting go of Caliban. You weren’t sure why you were being so defensive. It’s not like you and Caliban were actually dating, but you didn’t like Lucy. Not only did she break Harvey’s heart and cause all the damage you’d spent the better part of two months fixing, but she also just rubbed you the wrong way. 

“Okay, not to ruin all the fun,” Isobel said after a while. “But guests should be coming soon. Why don’t you kids make sure everything is set up in the back and keep an ear out for any early birds?” 

“Sure thing,” Lucy said, hopping off her seat and leading the way to the backyard. 

You started following when Caliban caught your arm and said something to his mom about getting more supplies from the garage. He didn’t say anything else as he led the way and neither did you, but that was mostly just because you were being petty. 

Caliban led you to the middle of the garage and tugged on the old light to illuminate the dusty room around you. He lifted your intertwined hands and folded them over each other as he thought about what he was going to say. 

You couldn’t wait that long. 

“So, what’s the deal with you and Lucy? And I want the truth this time.” 

Caliban laughed and shook his head as he looked up at the old light above you. He took a breath before saying, “Lucinda’s my best friend, pretty much my only friend before yours so kindly took me in. If I’d known she’d be here today, I would have said something.” 

“Wait, you were best friends with the girl who broke up your family?” you asked. 

“She apologized,” Caliban said. “And, besides, you’re friends with Harvey.” 

“Harvey’s never made out with me,” you said, untangling your hand from his so that you could cross your arms over your chest. 

Caliban narrowed his eyes slightly as he took in your newly defensive stance, and then he laughed without saying anything else. He looked amused when he met your scowling gaze again. “I can’t believe you’re jealous,” he said. “Don’t misunderstand me, it’s incredibly attractive but-” 

“I am not jealous,” you said. “I couldn’t care less.” 

“I’m sure,” Caliban said with a sarcastic smile. He rolled his eyes as he stepped closer and cupped your face before leaning down to be millimeters away from your face. “Forget about her, alright? I assure you, you’re the only fake girlfriend for me.” 

Before you had the chance to say something witty in return, the garage door flew open and the devil herself stood in the opening. 

“There you are!” Lucy said. “Cal, I need help with these streamers. I’m way too short to get them where your mom wants them.” 

“I’ll be right out,” Caliban said without taking his eyes off yours. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking a step back and leaving you in the dusty and dim garage. 

You shot a warning text to Harvey about Lucy before you went out to help the others. Though he never answered, he must have got it because he was surprisingly okay when he and Sabrina got there. You and Sabrina shared a look when Lucy got a bit handsy with her hello, but neither of you said anything. 

That’s how most of the get together went; you and Sabrina sharing secret, sarcastic looks and staying out of trouble. Well, mostly. You still didn’t know what to say when Uncle Tristan started talking about horses, but Caliban came to your rescue and the rest was smooth sailing. 

Until an hour went by when you couldn’t find Caliban anywhere. You asked around but no one had seen him, but his mom pointed you in the direction of his room. Isobel held onto your arm before you could leave. 

“Um, I’m sorry if this seems a bit strange but I …” Isobel smiled and looked down at her hand on your arm before letting go, clearly trying to respect whatever boundaries you may have had. “Caliban’s been a lot happier since we moved here and I think that has to do with you. I just wanted to say thank you.” 

“Oh, uh- It’s nothing. I’m just a girl and I’m sure Caliban’s brought a few of us around by now with cheekbones like that,” you said with a smile. 

“No, Caliban’s never brought anyone home before,” Isobel said, looking like she was trying to remember anything to the contrary. “Sorry, hun, I’ve gotta go. Jan’s calling me over. Good luck with the search!” 

“Thanks,” you said quietly. 

Isobel disappeared into the sea of Kinkles and you made your way to Caliban’s room. You took your time going up the stairs, looking at all the photos on the wall as you did. It was nice to see that Caliban was just as angry and angsty now as he was at  14 years old. 

It was strangely quiet upstairs compared to the rest of the house and the party in the backyard. Quite enough that you could hear someone giggling upstairs, someone decidedly not Caliban. 

Roz would have told you to face it head-on and not to sneak around like a creep. Thankfully, Roz wasn’t there to say anything. 

You tiptoed as casually as you could to Caliban’s room. The room felt more like the Caliban you knew than the rest of the house did: big windows without any blinds, a tornado of books and sketches on every surface available, and a very pretty redhead making out with him. 

“She kissed you, huh?” you asked, echoing the story of when they were younger before turning on your heel and slamming the door behind you. Your heart ached annoyingly when Caliban called out for you as he followed behind you, but your brain told it to suck it up until you were out of the house.

By sheer force of will, you made it back downstairs without turning around, but then Caliban managed to get a hold of your hand and spin you around to face him. 

“Would you please let me explain?” Caliban asked. 

“No,” you said, pulling your hand away from him. “Look, it’s not like you have anything to explain anyway, okay?” He reached out for you again and you took a step back so you wouldn’t be confused by his touch. “You and me? We were a fake relationship. Maybe this is the universe saying it’s time it came to a real end.” 

You knew what he’d say if you weren’t arguing. He’d ask you, with that annoying smile of his, when you started letting the universe tell you what to do. Or he’d make some comment about the universe being a bastard. But all he did now was set his jaw and look down at his hand. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying this is it,” you said. “Goodbye, Caliban.” 

You weren’t sure why you expected him to say something else, to fight for your fake relationship, but all that expectation just led to disappointment. Caliban flexed his hand but didn’t say anything else as you pushed past him to get your stuff from the kitchen so you could rush to your car to cry. 

Harvey was tapping on your window just before you started the car. Curse your five-minute breakdown for being long enough for him to notice you were gone. 

“What?” you asked as you rolled down the window. 

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked. “You ran out of there so fast-” 

“You were right, okay?” You put your car in reverse before looking back up at him. “Caliban’s not a good guy and you warned me. Will you just let me go so I can cry somewhere that’s not here?” 

“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant,” Harvey said softly, reaching through the window for you. “Let me come with-” 

“No. Go have fun with your family. I need to get out of here.” 

“But-” 

“Harvey, move or I will drive over your foot.” 

You didn’t think he was going to do it, but Harvey took a very reluctant step back and put his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t going to fight for you either, not that you’d given him much of a chance. Harvey was stood there, watching you drive away until he disappeared in your rearview mirror. 

Music blared in an attempt to drown out your thoughts, but there was one you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried. Sabrina was right - every Kinkle family get together ended horribly.

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[suqarshaxx]

a shaxx mini story cause i’m love h*rny

red text = shaxx talking :>

— exhaustion

“i understand zavala, and i’ll follow your orders but i seriously think we need to think of taking a stealthier approach. send me and two other highly skilled stealth guardians and we’ll get it done.” zavala looked at you like you were stupid. “i’m not sending only three guardians in with no true insight of the ship layout. i’ll bring up your idea with the vanguard but that could take more weeks. we have no idea what we’re up against and i want to know before i go sending three of my most skilled guardians into a blind zone.” *sigh* you’re too tired for this. “you have a point sir. i’ll let you get back to your work.” you left zavala’s office with your head up...until you heard the office doors close. “finally” you sigh, letting your head fall. see, life has gotten a lot more frustrating and exhausting. since cayde died you’ve been incredibly lonely. it was hard accepting he was really gone.

you picked up other activities to get away from it. crucible was the one to take up most of your time, and, it was a positive. you were becoming closer to shaxx and it had probably been the first week in awhile you hadn’t felt completely lonely. he was great at distracting you from what happened. as you were making your way up the stairs you stopped by banshee’s setup to talk for a bit. unluckily, a lot of guardians were also there so that meant no banshee time. but, its not the end of the world. you kept walking and gave master rahool a polite greeting as you past by. you start making your way towards shaxx when you see he was talking to another guardian. by the looks of shaxx’s body language, he seemed to be trying to explain something to the young one. you respect shaxx and his students so you just stood off to the side waiting.

he notices you and quickly dismisses the other guardian. you start walking over towards him while shaking your head and smiling. “shaxx you didn’t have to send that guardian off i was fine wai-“ shaxx cut you off swiftly. “guardian? what are you doing here?” his voice sounding concerned. “what are you talking about?” i wanted to see you, and what bounties you’re offering.” your look went from happy to puzzled very quickly. “y/n...” shaxx lightly grabs your arm to pull you off to the side. “how long has it been?” this is starting to get odd. “shaxx what are you talking about?” what’s his deal? “have you seen your eyes y/n? they’re hollow black. you can tell you haven’t been sleeping. so, how long has it been since you actually slept?” you sigh. someone had to say something. someone always, has to say something. “shaxx, im alright. ikora asked me to help out with some extra paperwork a few days ago and it was a lot so i just stayed up for a couple of days and haven’t had the option to rest yet. it’s only my third day and trust me i plan on sleeping tonight.” you said with a faint smile. “you haven’t spoken to her in weeks. you even told me that.” now it’s awkward. shaxx crossed his arms, “you can’t lie to me about this. now please, let me take you home so you can rest.” his voice was so sad and soft. “the last thing i’d need is for you to get hurt in crucible fights because you cant stand up right.” he lightly said under his breath. as much as you hated it, he was right. what good are you to anyone if you can barely function? “okay, i promise i’ll rest but don’t feel the need to walk me home. i know i’m a bit wobbly but if you have work to do, i’m not gonna keep you from it. i can still walk myself home.” “not a chance, i wanna make sure you actually fall asleep.” you could tell he really cared about you. “just give me a few moments to gather my things.”

the walk was very silent but wasn’t ever awkward. the exhaustion was always with you but knowing you grew closer and closer to a bed made that tired feeling way worse. as you and shaxx were walking you held hands. sorta-ish? you held onto two of his fingers. the index and middle one. shaxx didn’t seem to mind it and neither did you so no one said anything about it.

as the two of you approached your home you started getting tense. sure everyone could tell you weren’t sleeping but no one knew you weren’t even staying in your own home. those damn memories of cayde flood your head every time you’re inside. truthfully, it was scary. never knowing if it’s going to be a happy memory or him taking his final breaths terrifies you. obviously to the point where you can’t even sleep in your own home. shaxx could tell you were tense considering once you got closer and closer, you didn’t realize but you were tightly gripping his fingers now. “guardian? are you alright?” you couldn’t shift your gaze from the home but still replied. “yes i’m alright, thank you for bringing me home.” a minute of silence passed before you broke it and looked over at shaxx. “if you’d like you can come in, grab a drink rest for a few minutes and then get back to the crucible.” “ah i finally get to see how one of my best players lives?” you know he said that with a smirk across his face. you couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

you two entered your house and you offered to make some tea, which shaxx politely declined. he wanted the tea but you could tell he wanted you to rest more. “is there anything i can do to make you more comfortable? you’ve seemed very tense since we’ve got here.” should you tell him? should you not tell him? you’ve always kept to yourself but it’s like be makes it impossible for you not to share. he feels like the only one you don’t have to lie to. “shaxx, i have to be honest. the last time i slept was here, and the last time i’ve been here was almost a month ago.” you couldn’t directly look him in the eyes but could feel him looking down at you. “why didn’t you say anything sooner?” pride i guess... “i’m not sure, i thought maybe i could handle myself but i just ended up running away from it.” a singular sigh left shaxx’s mouth. “alright then, come on.” you were confused. “what do you mean? come where?” “your mattress y/n. you obviously are having trouble sleeping because of your nightmares, and i’m sure not having someone here either to comfort you isn’t helpful. so i’ll stay with you for the rest of the day that way if you do have a nightmare, you have someone to help you.” wow.. “shaxx, that’s incredibly nice and i truly appreciate it but i couldn’t ask you to do that. you still have the crucible to run and bounties to sell and guardians to teach and-“ shaxx cut you off before you continued to ramble on. “it’s alright, ive already worked things out to take the rest of the day off. the crucible can wait guardian, you can’t.” “are you sure?” “i’m positive, now! you must go rest!” he said in his “crucible” voice. you couldn’t help but giggle. as different as it was, shaxx did make you feel less lonely. maybe it’s time to accept that while cayde might be gone physically, it doesn’t mean you have to stop cherishing him through memories. maybe it’s a new path forward. “thank you shaxx, i greatly appreciate it.” you gave him a hug and asked if he needed anything else before going to bed. he simply shook his head and made a resting gesture. you smiled and went to your bedroom. you couldn’t deny that you felt very nervous but you just trusted your gut that if anything happened shaxx would be there, and hopefully, he’d still be there when you awoke.

—————————

ok hi so uhh a/n i did NOT expect to write this long and much so yeah! i hope you enjoy and this is my first time *publicly* writing and posting a fic so i hope you enjoy :>

[talesfromlissom]

Glory of the Moon

A/N: This is split into four separate parts, and it’s also really long so uh yeah, sorry if the characters act ooc, I’m still trying to figure out who I want to write most of them, and I haven’t done character studies with any of the characters (minus solider:76) so sorry y’all.

This is also a GN reader for all the people that like GN readers, so any pronouns can go for the role of (Y/N) ;), have fun~

This is kind of my own idea, featuring Poly!Mchanzo but Mcree and (Y/N) are werewolves. 

Summary: As the recall has been issued, new recruits start to flood into overwatch due to recommendations, from old and new allies. However, the newest recruit seems to have an interest in Hanzo, much to Jesse’s dislike. 

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

“So, what do you think of the new recruit?” Was the first thing that came to Jesse’s ears that morning.

Jesse shrugged.

“Haven’t met ‘em yet.” 

“Well, from what Lena tells me, his name is Dallas, and...he’s a werewolf.”

Now that caught Jesse’s attention.

“Another one? Damn, might as well make half of the base off limits during the full moon.” 

“Bah! The only thing you and I do according to Hanzo is bother him with belly rubs.” 

Jesse snickered.

“Speakin’ of Han, where is he?”

(Y/N) shrugged.

“Not sure, he said he wanted to go and train before people started filling it,” (Y/N) replied. “He says he doesn’t like it when he keeps people waiting.” 

A pause.

“Liar.”

“Fine, he said that he doesn’t want Genji to come into the training ground and challenge him to a fight in the middle of the day.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“If you tell him that I told you that he’ll smother me with a pillow.”

“I...Ima tell him.” 

“Jesse-mf-Mcree, you better not-”

                                                  ──•~❉+❉~•──

“Well ain’t he a sight.” Jesse muttered, as (Y/N), and him had come to the training grounds, seeing the new recruit.

(Y/N) could tell he was new, he didn’t have a uniform.

This man was dressed in black jeans, ripped jeans of course, (Y/N) smiled.

This man was young, maybe getting into his late 30’s, and with his white t-shirt and his black jacket, he knew this man at least had a fashion sense.

(Y/N) heard tapping of feet fill the air, and based on how fast they moved they knew automatically who it was.

“Heya Han, how you doin’?” Jesse said, beating (Y/N) to greeting the smaller man.

“Well, I was training, but the new recruit came and people filed in.” 

“Ah! My friends!” Reinhart’s booming voice yelled. “Come meet the new recruit!” 

“Speak of the devil.” Jesse muttered as the crowd parted. 

(Y/N) crossed their arms and raised an eyebrow as the man walked over.

And Jesse extended a glance to (Y/N) as the man came into range.

This man was definitely a werewolf.

He practically wreaked of it.

However, (Y/N) couldn’t pinpoint what pack he was from, because he didn’t smell like an omega. 

The man grinned at (Y/N).

“Alpha (Y/N)? Is that really you?”

(Y/N) smiled. “In the flesh, and you are?” 

“Dallas! Dallas Starmonger! I’m from the western pack in Oregon!” He beamed. “It's an honor to speak to you!” 

(Y/N) grinned. 

“The western pack? Ain’t y’all-” Jesse began.

“And who is this?” Dallas asked, gesturing to Hanzo. 

Hanzo paused.

“Oh, Hanzo Shimada, at your service.”

Dallas watched as the man extended the hand. 

“No, the pleasure is all mine.”

And (Y/N) had to stop Mcree from storming over when the man kissed Hanzo’s hand.

Hanzo blinked as Dallas walked by, clicking his teeth and entering the base.

“What the ‘ell was that!” Jesse cried.

“A proper greeting?”

“He kissed yer hand, Han.”

“You do realize that is a form of greeting, Mcree?” 

“But-”

(Y/N) shook their head.

“(Y/N), help me out ‘ere!”

“No. I’m gonna go train with Zarya and Mei, see ya.”

“But-but darlin’-!” 

“Bye Jesse! Go talk to Dallas or somethin’!” 

Hanzo snickered as Jesse crossed his arms and pouted.

“Are you jealous Jesse?”

“No.” 

“Jesse, calm yourself, this man is a werewolf, if I am correct, your scent, as well as (Y/N)’s lingers on me, he’ll know to keep away.” 

Jesse still pouted as Hanzo gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked into the hall, and turned to go towards the cafeteria.

He stood there for a bit.

Maybe he was just being paranoid. 

                                               ──•~❉+❉~•──

“He still hasn’t said hello to me.” Jesse huffed.

(Y/N) shook their head.

“Jesse, he probably didn’t see you.”

“Didn’t see my ass, he looked right at me!” Jesse paused. “Somethin’ about this guy doesn’t feel right.” Another pause. “Jeez, if I had a dollar for everytime I caught that man staring at Han, I’d pay off my own goddamn bounty.” 

(Y/N) rolled their eyes. “C’mon Jesse, you and I said that about Hanzo, and now look where we are, we’re all dating.” 

“Tsk.” Jesse muttered, rounding the corner. 

“And besides, Hanzo is the most observant out of us, if he knows something is up, he’ll know it before we do.” 

“I just, I don’t-”

Jesse came to a halt, spying Hanzo and Dallas down the hall.

Hanzo was leaning against a wall, with Dallas hovering over him, the two engaged in casual chatter.

Jesse gestured to the two.

“See?”

“Jesse, be polite.”

“I am being polite!”

“Ah, (Y/N), and...Joel..?” Dallas began as the two walked over.

“It’s Jesse.” Jesse hissed.

“Ah, Jesse right,” Dallas corrected. “So, you  three are the only werewolves here?”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow. “Three?” 

“Hanzo ain’t a werewolf,” Jesse muttered, and (Y/N) narrowed their gaze at him, noticing the slight attitude in his tone. 

(Y/N) huffed at Jesse who narrowed his gaze even further. 

“Ah, he’s a human then?”

“Yep.”

“Hm.” Dallas said. “That’s a good thing to know.”

“And why’s that?” 

“Jesse, calm-”

“No no, it's fine,” Dallas said, scratching the back of his neck. “I heard that the new recruits get paired to spar against the older recruits, so I just wanted to know so I can go easy on him-”

“You do not have to go easy on me. I can handle it.” Hanzo replied. 

Dallas then grinned.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Nice, well, see you guys around, Mrs.Amari still has to show me around!” 

As the man ran off, (Y/N) immediately turned to Jesse.

“Jesse, you need to take a chill pill.”

“I’m completely chill darlin’. Completely.” Jesse snapped through gritted teeth. 

                                               ──•~❉+❉~•──

Things didn’t get much better between Jesse and Dallas.

But they did between Dallas and Hanzo.

Hanzo found a mutual understanding in Dallas.

Dallas, was raised in a crime family as well, with his father being a member of the mafia.

Unlike Hanzo’s father, Dallas’ was just a member, not the leader.

So he understood the expectations.

Alas, Dallas ran away, not wanting to participate in such violent things, and joined overwatch to help, is what Dallas told him anyways.

He found himself having to speak to Dallas by himself, or with (Y/N) around, since Jesse and Dallas never got along.

This led to...a lot of fights between (Y/N) and Jesse, whenever (Y/N) caught Jesse being rude. 

Hanzo sat in the background most of the time when the two fought.

Tempers flared high between the two as of right now, not just because of this new recruit,but  the full moon was tonight.

Which meant Hanzo tried to keep his distance, but again, there was a fight, and he didn’t leave in time.

                                                 ──•~❉+❉~•──

“Jesse what hell were you thinking!” (Y/N) cried as Jesse merely looked at the floor.

“God! Can’t you get your head out of your ass for two seconds and actually try to get along with this guy?”

“He called me an Omega!”

“So what! I get called an Omega too? It isn’t rare, Jesse!”

“He knew that I’d punch him if I said that!”

“He did not Jesse. I bet Dallas is just tired of you being rude to him so he decided to be rude back!”

“Why the hell are you taking his side?”

“I’m not taking anybody’s side Jess’, why would you think I’d do that to you!”

“Then why don’t ya say anythin’!” A pause. “He interrupts me, ignores me, and yet you say nothin’! You’re a goddamn alpha, he’ll listen to you!”

“No he won’t! He’s an alpha too Jess’!”

Jesse let out a groan of frustration.

“And what about Han? Huh, I guess you don’t see him feel ‘im up him do ya?” 

“He’s never done that before!” 

“Yes he has!” Jesse yelled, his voice getting louder. 

Hanzo tensed as the shouting would get louder, and the grip on his book tightened.

Soon, the book slammed shut, causing (Y/N) and Jesse to turn to him.

“Can you two please cease this useless fighting!” Hanzo cried. “It brings us nowhere!”

Silence.

“(Y/N), Jesse isn’t going to like everyone, but Jesse, you must be polite to Dallas, it's unprofessional and he is your team member!” 

“Han-”

“No! You are both acting like children, hell, I can’t sit down and have a meal without you two fighting about this man! He is just a man!”

And that was the last straw.

Hanzo marched past the two enraged werewolves, who were still silent.

“I’m going to meditate, do not bother me.”

And the door shut, and frankly, (Y/N) and Jesse swore the door sounded louder than before.

                                                         ──•~❉+❉~•──

It was always calming in the zen garden.

It was built by request of Genji and Zenyatta.

Hanzo was thankful it was late, Genji and Zenyatta tended to meditate during the day.

So as of right now, he was alone.

The calming atmosphere almost always brought some peace to his mind.

Near the fountain, eyes shut.

However, they snapped open as the leaves brushed next to him. 

He turned, and spotted Dallas coming out of the bushes.

A water bottle in hand.

And a towel wrapped around his neck.

Dallas paused.

“Oh, heya Hanzo, how are you doing?”

“I am fine, you?”

Dallas frowned.

“I know that look,” He said. “Joel and (Y/N) fought again I’m guessing?”

“Is it that obvious?” A pause. “And his name is Jesse.”

Dallas muttered an apology before sitting down, next to Hanzo.

Hanzo fidgeted.

“What...are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was working out with Reinhart and Junkrat, but I got tired and left early,” He said, placing the bottle down. “God, those two have so much stamina.” 

Hanzo shook his head.

“Indeed.”

Silence.

“You...want a sip?”

“What?”

“Of my water.”

“Erm..no thank you.”

“You sure? Dr.Ziegler told me that you tend to meditate for hours, it shouldn’t hurt to drink something small.”

Hanzo thought for a moment, his dragons spoke to him, telling him to go see (Y/N) and Jesse.

He brushed it off and grabbed the water bottle, taking a few gulps.

“See? Isn’t that better?”

Hanzo shook his head.

“I suppose.”

Dallas grinned.

“Doesn’t Winston have some fruit here?”

“This isn’t the greenhouse, Dallas.”

“I know but it doesn’t hurt to look right?”

Hanzo sighed.

“You may look, but I am not.”

“Alright, see ya tomorrow then.”

“Farewell.”

Hanzo shut his eyes yet again.

                                            ──•~❉+❉~•──

After fifteen minutes, Hanzo felt off.

His head was pounding, his arms felt weak.

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

When were the lights this bright.

Hanzo stood up-

He wobbled and fell against the fountain, gripping his head. 

His vision was getting more distorted and blurry every time he blinked.

He heard footsteps behind him.

“God, it was easy breaking into this place.” A voice said off in the distance.

“You sure this is the place?”

Hanzo hobbled forward, only to fall to the ground.

“Oh it's the place alright.” He heard Dallas’ voice interrupt.

Through his blurred vision, he saw the faint outline of Dallas, crouching near him.

The corner of his eyes began to turn to black, as he felt himself be lifted from the ground and placed on Dallas’ shoulder.

“Welcome to the Eastern Pack of Spain, Hanzo Shimada.” 

[pebblysand]

of tyres that blow (extended author’s note of chapter v. of castles)

- - TO READ THE CHAPTER ITSELF, CLICK HERE. - -

Oh, what a month it has been. Well, a month and two days - I’m a bit late updating. I’ve had two good things happen, writing wise. 1) I got my first original short story published (!!!!) (you can read it here) and 2) I put out a little one-shot about Fleur Delacour that I’m super happy about and gave me an idea about a new series (more on that later this week, I hope. I might need help with prompts!). Regardless, this latest Irish lockdown is fucking endless and I sometimes wonder if this fic isn’t just an outlet for my feelings of lockdown-induced loneliness, apathy, but also a constant argument that I have with myself thinking: for the love of god, just pull yourself up, will you? You’re a Gryffindor, goddamn it. I certainly wish my fucked up sleeping patterns on no one, although I may or may have Mary-Sued that onto Harry, lol. (Spoiler alert: he’s scheduled to get some real sleep in next chapter. All bets are off regarding whether I will.)

This chapter was surprisingly easy to write (I basically vomited out chapters iv, v, and vi over the span of a week in December) but incredibly difficult to edit. For days, I just couldn’t concentrate, wrote and re-wrote and felt like everything was shite. Then, I realised it’d become this 19,000-words long monster so I had to cut a lot of shit out. We ended up with 15,898 words which I suppose is better? 

I do wonder: do people mind long chapters? Like, I know as fanfic reader, I personally prefer longer formats and rarely gravitate towards works that are less than 3,000 words. I love just getting buried into a story, into plots rather than single scenes. This being said, every time I write something that I deem too long (i.e. above 10k) I have these excruciating struggles where I wonder: should I cut it in half? should I leave it as is? I decided to split the last one. Then, I decided not to split this one because (you may notice this or not, I’m not sure) it’s kind of built a certain way, geared towards basically getting to the last two paragraphs. Like, when you get there, it’s a bit of an ah-ha moment, but I couldn’t get to that ah-ha moment without all the build up before it. It’s the accumulation of all of these little details that feel like they don’t matter. And as Harry says in the end, they don’t, in the grand scheme of things, but also they do. Like, everyday life doesn’t matter until you lose it. Then, it does, if that makes sense.

In terms of next update... I’ve decided to get my law licence transferred to France and the EU (it’s a long story), which means that I need to bloody, fucking study. The exams are at the end of March so my current plan is: hardcore study until the end of february. Mix study/writing in early march and hopefully get chapter vi out mid-March, then hardcore study until the end of March. Please, if you see me posting then, tell me off in the comments cause god, I really need to pass. Now, I will go have my traditional i-ve-put-a-chapter-out shot of limoncello and let you read the below :).

...spoilers for castles, chap v. under the cut -

I’ve done a lot of thinking about what this chapter is meant to be about. Obviously (I hope), every chapter has a point, in this story. Chapter 1 is about time (the way it passes and blurs when your mind’s a complete mess), chapter 2 is about hope, chapter 3 is about inevitability and the consequences of trauma, chapter 4 is about becoming an adult and growing into your own skin, etc. I think this one is about fear. How you feel it, and how you overcome it. Like, Harry takes a decision to stand up, fight, do the interview, regardless of the fact that he is scared (for his life, for that of the people he loves), and finds buried inside him a lot of the courage that he (felt) he lost, after the war. He learns to control his fear of the world by figuring out how apprehend it, through the training Giulia gives him, through learning how to kill, too. 

But, it’s also about fear in society. How the attack on Robards sets everyone on edge and how they keep going regardless. I initially wrote this chapter with the idea that it was going to be about speaking out and being brave, but obviously, fear and fighting against it is a huge part of that, too. 

Then, there’s Mia. Obviously, this fic is Harry/Ginny endgame but I do like the idea of Harry (and possibly Ginny as well) dating at least one other person, before officially tying the knot. Like, yes, Ginny is obviously coming back next chapter. She’ll probably own the second half of next chapter, if I’m honest, considering they’re obviously going to the burrow for christmas. I love Ginny, I’ve missed her and honestly, I can’t wait to bring her back. This being said, to be fair, I’ve kind of realised that this fic may actually be the first I ever write that isn’t strictly “shippy.” Like, yes, their relationship is a huge part of it (it’s a huge part of his life) and it will and was always going to be a huge part of this story but I think this fic is larger than that. It’s a result of my years-long obsession over: but what happens next? Over what “all was well” really means, in a general sense. How do they get to “nineteen years later” and beyond. But yeah, I’ve missed Ginny and I’m glad she’s on her way back to us now. 

Now, obviously. Giulia. I’m sorry. This was always going to happen. Well, almost always. I remember when I first wrote her in, she was a bit of a filler character. At the time, the thing with Mia was supposed to happen in last chapter and I actually had (have) much more backstory around her, than around Giulia. She and Harry were going to have proper conversations (will they ever, who knows?), really get to know each other. But then, Giulia came first narratively and shone through the page. I started writing her and she had this personality and life of her own and I couldn’t bring myself to curtail her. 

Now, we all know how it is: fanfics can only tolerate so many OCs. So, I had to choose between putting Mia at the forefront, or Giulia. I chose Jules. 

Then, in chapter 4, I wrote this: 

Her first lesson is to teach him how to drive the patrol car. ‘I don’t know why we use them,’ she explains, honest, and Harry vaguely wonders if he should be taking notes. ‘Reckon the Ministry saw them being used by Muggles, had to prove they could do better. They like making noise, the Ministry, don’t they? Lots of sirens and shite.’

Politely, Harry hides a chuckle behind a cough. He clearly doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t need to, that Giulia’s sarcastic sense of humour is one of the things that he’ll come to appreciate the most in this world, over the next few months. That the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget. That in the speech that he’ll give when he makes Head Auror, over a decade later, he’ll think of her and say: ‘Okay, let’s try to not just be sirens and shite, all right?’

This kind of tumbled out without me really thinking about it until I really looked at it and thought: fuck, why is he talking about her past tense, like that. Like “the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget.” Why would he forget it, though? And so, just like that, came her death sentence. For that, I apologise. It killed me too, and I cried when I wrote it in (especially when I wrote next chapter, actually, first time I ever made myself cry writing, if I’m honest) but it just needed to happen. It’s how Ginny and he get back together (I mean, obviously - is that even a spoil) because he’s grieving but she’s grown stronger and steady and she’s able to be there in a way that she wasn’t last summer. It did occur to me that god, all his mentors/father figures come to die, don’t they? But honestly, I kind of thing that his real mentor will be Robards, at the end of the day. She was just the one who allowed him to get back on his feet. 

One last note: I’ve been meaning to put this into the fic for ages but have never found the right moment to write it in. In the meantime, I’ll just say it here, because I don’t know if this has frustrated some of yous - I know it might have driven me mad. There is a logic to the Muggle/Wizard swearing/exclamations in the fic. Obviously, this is an adult fic so they swear normally, like eighteen-year-olds would in this (I decided that very early on), but also there’s “God”-s and “Merlin”-s and things like that. 

Now, I think that throughout this fic, although Harry hasn’t mentioned it yet (cause it never fucking fits anywhere) Hermione’s been having a sort of Muggle reckoning. She - in conscience - decides to start swearing/exclaiming “like a Muggle” after the war. If you notice, she only ever says “god”, never “Merlin.” Harry uses both interchangeably although he tends to use Merlin more when he thinks about wizard stuff, but God when he thinks about Muggle stuff (like when he’s with Mia). Ron only swears in “wizard” but I think he might start using Muggle expletives as well in the later chapters because of Hermione rubbing off on him. 

The fact that I even think about all that stuff is pathetic and I need to get a life. But that’s for another post, altogether. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it :). 

[radioduo]

ive come to repay ur kindness (also i just wanna know),, got any dsmp become human thoughts??

OH HOHOHO DO I

tommy still has his discs but because dbh takes place in the future, they’re like. ancient relics. he got them from wilbur and techno who got them from phil and mumza (she doesn’t really appear? she’s alive but i don’t have many plans for her regrettably 😔)

tubbo has probably killed someone

wilbur gave tommy “Cat” for tommy’s most recent birthday! he’s not a huge fan of androids - he doesn’t trust them. he knew deviants were bound to happen a long time before they actually existed. when clingy duo has to leave for their safety, he and techno follow after them to make sure they’re okay. (he also meets someone along the way.... he makes some friends....) ((ranboo. they meet ranboo.))

techno is wilbur’s twin! he’s only younger by a few minutes and still calls wilbur an old man. he kind of looks like Just A Guy but he’s Just A Guy with pink hair.

phil has a complicated relationship with the public opinion of him because some people like him for creating such useful machines while other people are bitter that androids are stealing jobs, but tbh phil Could Not Care Less because he left cyberlife a few years ago

the craft family is the reason tubbo deviates! tommy tells him to stay put when there’s a break-in but tubbo says fuck no and makes sure that tommy and the others are safe.

“moonlight confrontations” wasn’t actually supposed to go the way it did- i forgot to reference the extras section of my plot ideas and accidentally did something completely different than what i meant to lmao

ranboo is a prototype! he has flawless detective skills but something went fucky in his code that makes him more susceptible to software instabilities, which is why he deviated quickly.

he had a run-in with a deviant android before moonlight confrontations that resulted in him being severely damaged on his hands and face, which is why he wears the mask. an optical unit was damaged so it had to be replaced, which is why he looks like he has heterochromia

tommy, wil, and techno are humans who shouldn’t usually be allowed in jericho but according to the leader of Jericho (i might need to figure out who that is...) “i will make an exception because they look very polite”