#actually it’s easy not to be romantic about it when your team is the angels

[johanna-swann]

Sorry if this feels vent-y but I am kinda done with the ppl that keep blaming Buck for the break up and absolving Tommy completely. I get so many saw him breaking up with Buck to be OOC but to go as far as to claim that it's Buck's fault for moving too fast when it's clearly about Tommy's insecurity is a bit fucked up. I have yet to see a person talking about how it was Tommy who fucked things up, if it was someone else acting out based on insecurity they would have been eviscerated and rightfully blamed but not Tommy ig he's a perfect angel who even if he hurt others it's not his fault for being fragile and insecure.

Well, personally I blame the writers for the break-up, but maybe that's just me.

Jokes aside, the simple answer is that everyone probably has their own personal opinion on this. Depending on your personal point of view, your own experiences with past relationships and so on, you will sympathise with one character more than the other or maybe with both of them equally. It's not a "Team Buck or Team Tommy" situation, we have two men here who both care about each other very much, but who also both bring issues to the table which the other one doesn't know about. It's not a cut and dried case, there's plenty of blame to go around. I have a lot more thoughts about this and I will take this as an excuse to rant, so settle in and buckle up.

The thing about Buck is that we see his thought process. We know which steps he went through, we know his train of thought, we know he's serious about Tommy. So it's easy for us to empathise and understand his journey up to the actual break-up. It's also easy for us to pick up familiar patterns though. Like Buck jumping all in all at once and putting his foot in his mouth a little in the process.

Because Buck definitely shouldn't have dropped "I want you to move in with me" on Tommy like that. As far as we know they've never talked about this topic before, they haven't exchanged "I love you"s yet, Buck doesn't even know if he loves Tommy. In my opinion he should've approached the subject very differently. He could've said: "I've been thinking about the future and I think we should talk about maybe living together in the not so far future." Have an open conversation about it instead of presenting Tommy with a fait accompli. At the very least he should've phrased it as a question, not as an "I want you to do x" statement. Not at this point in the relationship.

But all in all Buck's words and actions are somewhat relatable or at least comprehensible and show that he wants a future with Tommy.

On the other side of the break-up we have Tommy. The only piece of information about his dating history we have is Abby - a relationship that was never quite real, that he probably still feels ashamed about a little and that happened, what, 9 years earlier? At least 9 years. (The timeline is not lining the time as it should, somebody please check if Tim Minear knows how a calendar works.)

My point is: We don't know what Tommy is looking for in a relationship. We don't know if he's been hurt by a serious romantic relationship before. We don't know what he wants for his future in the long run. All the things that made us root for Buck and for this relationship to succeed - we know none of that about Tommy. But we do know that he thinks Buck has the power to break his heart. We know he already likes (loves?) Buck so much that he's terrified what this will do to him if he lets it continue. He'd rather turn tail and run than risk getting hurt by Buck. At least this way he's in control of the situation.

[This is very much the reason they broke up. Buck's mistake was a stupid mistake, but fixable. Tommy ended the relationship and ran. You can't fix something that's already over with someone who's no longer there. But I digress.]

A lot of what we get from their canon dialogue and overall relationship still doesn't add up. If Tommy thought he was just Buck's starter boyfriend, then why did he give Buck a second chance in the first place? If he thought this was never going to get serious, why did he agree to go to his sister's wedding with Buck after only one failed date? If he was afraid of liking Buck too much and getting his heart broken, why did he stick around for 6 months? 6 months is a very long time for a relationship you think will never go anywhere anyway.

It doesn't make sense and even throughout the scene where Tommy very abruptly dumps Buck they framed Tommy as a considerate guy with a big heart who truly cares about Buck. So we assume that there must be a reason. That something must've happened to Tommy at some point which makes him believe that this sort of relationship is not something he can have and that he can't trust this happiness.

If Tommy had a healthy sense of self-worth to go with his genuine feelings for Buck, he probably would've said something like: "Slow down, let's talk this through before we make any decisions." He wouldn't have run. And that absolutely was Tommy's mistake. Yes, Buck was a little over-eager upon discovering that he really can see a future with Tommy, but it was Tommy's responsibility to communicate his thoughts, feelings, needs and doubts. Instead he came up with some half-baked excuse and bailed.

TL;DR: They both made a mistake here. While Buck's mistake was relatively harmless in nature and not the one that put the final nail in the coffin, his mistake was definitely the more stupid one though. Buck fell back into an old pattern and thoughtlessly made a huge jump while just assuming Tommy would jump with him. His mistake was fixable and they could've probably talked this out, but Buck was a little reckless here and didn't really consider Tommy's side. He was too caught up in his own enthusiasm which, again, understandable. But still a little inconsiderate tbh.

Tommy's mistake came from a place of deep seated hurt. Yes, his mistake had the bigger impact, but it's the kind of mistake you empathise with instead of roll your eyes at. He was a coward, but he was a hurt coward.

We've all been there at some point, probably. Maybe not in the context of a relationship, but I've been a hurt coward almost every day of my life, self-sabotage is my second middle name. I feel for Tommy here. And I also feel for Buck of course, he barely even registered what was happening and then Tommy was already out the door. But when we break it down to the mistakes they made Buck's mistake gave me "not again you idiot" vibes and Tommy's mistake gave me "I'm so sorry, who hurt you?" vibes.

[kensatou]

shohei ohtani striking mike trout out in the ninth inning of a one-run game to win the title. how can you not be romantic about baseball…

[amyriadfthings]

[Have the whole interview]

The Projectionist

With Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, It’s All About Chemistry

After “Fleabag” and “Normal People” made them romantic idols, the two actors forge their own tender bond in “All of Us Strangers.”

“Have you seen the sausage ad?” Andrew Scott asked me.

“No, no, we’re not going to talk about that,” Paul Mescal said.

It was a mid-November morning in Los Angeles, and I was having breakfast with two actors who have created some of the most indelible romantic leads of recent vintage: Scott, 47, played the “Hot Priest” on the second season of “Fleabag,” while the 27-year-old Mescal broke through — and broke hearts — as the conflicted jock Connell in Hulu’s “Normal People.”

Now, instead of aiming those love beams at women, they’ll point them at each other in the drama “All of Us Strangers,” due Dec. 22 in theaters. It’s like an Avengers-level team-up, if the Avengers recruited exclusively from the ranks of sad-eyed Irish heartthrobs who caused a sensation over the 2019-20 television season.

But before we could talk about their sexy, shattering new movie, Scott gently ribbed his co-star about an ad for an Irish sausage brand, Denny, that Mescal had starred in just out of drama school. (Though the rest of the world was introduced to Mescal in “Normal People,” Ireland already knew him from the ubiquitous sausage commercial.)

“Look, I needed that job in a massive way,” Mescal said. “That paid my rent for the rest of the year. But if I could take it back …”

“Ah, no, it’s lovely you have that!” Scott said. “I actually thought the character you created in the sausage ad was …”

“… career defining?” Mescal offered.

“It made me want a sausage!” Scott said a little too eagerly, causing both men to laugh. “Easy, folks, that’s too easy a joke,” Mescal said.

Scott and Mescal’s teasing, affectionate chemistry is put to excellent use in “All of Us Strangers,” directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend,” “45 Years”). Scott stars as Adam, a lonely writer who finds that his childhood home has become a mysterious portal that allows him to reconnect with his long-dead parents (played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). At the same time as Adam grapples with this past made manifestly present, he navigates an uncertain but tantalizing future with his neighbor Harry (Mescal), with whom he develops an intense romantic bond.

Over breakfast, we discussed the movie, which recently took the top prize at the British Independent Film Awards in addition to wins for directing, writing and Mescal’s supporting performance. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Andrew, you were attached to this movie first. How did you feel when Paul was cast?

SCOTT I was really thrilled because I was hoping that people would be able to see how cinematic and brilliant that role is.

MESCAL It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t be interested in it.

SCOTT Well, the character is such a vessel for love. To be able to play love, it’s something that you have to just know how to embody, and Paul is so excellent about being able to allow the audience in. When I heard he was interested, I was saying to Andrew, “Make that happen!”

MESCAL Even if I didn’t like the script or Andrew Haigh as much as I do, and I knew Andrew [Scott] was going to be doing the film, I still would have done the film.

SCOTT Would you?

MESCAL A hundred percent. And I know that probably sounds sycophantic, but when I was reading it and imagining you’d do it, I thought, “This is built for an actor of your caliber.” There’s lots of brilliant dramatic actors in the world, but what I think separates Andrew is his capacity to understand the dramatic requirements of a scene but also to play utterly against it. He finds humor in subject matter like this, which is really quite heavy, and if you can make an audience laugh, you’re halfway to making them cry.

This is a very tactile movie, too.

SCOTT There’s so much touching, whether that’s familial touching or a more sensual thing. People have talked an awful lot about the chemistry and the sex between our characters, but actually what I think is really radical and affecting about the relationship is how affectionate and tender they are with each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to play, isn’t it? Just real care.

MESCAL I find it healing to watch that kind of emotional intimacy. I remember being surprised when we watched it for the first time, because I didn’t remember being so close to your face when we were talking, how we were totally taking each other in. There’s a weird thing that I don’t think you can cheat: You know how when somebody you love is talking to you, and you look at their lips? It’s like, Jesus, I can’t remember doing that.

Andrew, you’ve said before that acting is a matter of revealing. What’s being revealed about you by taking on this role?

SCOTT I think an awful lot, if I’m honest. I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself, but it doesn’t take much to go back there — something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, “You’ve got a wife?” You could go, “No, I don’t,” or is that sort of a lie by omission? I think the challenge was to undo the work and go to that place where you feel frightened.

How were you able to emancipate yourself from shame?

SCOTT I genuinely think that acting helped me. When I was a kid, I started doing elocution lessons because I had a really bad lisp. “She sells seashells,” I had to say that 17 times a day. So they sent me to elocution, which was boring, but eventually it was speech and drama classes. I was so shy and terrified, but then someone would say, “Get up and do an improvisation,” and some part of me felt …

MESCAL … free?

SCOTT Free, and I loved it. And then I practiced it a little bit more and then started doing it as a job. When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident. To make something like [“All of Us Strangers”], it moves me, because I never thought that I’d get a chance to expose myself so much in a film like this or for it to be in such a trusting environment with such brilliant colleagues.

And do you rush headlong into the chance to expose yourself like that?

SCOTT I do. It’s my responsibility. The further I go into acting, I think that’s all it is, actually.

In the first scene you share, Paul’s character is boldly trying to flirt his way into Andrew’s apartment. Paul, it’s a kick to see you play a man so assertive and sure of what he wants.

MESCAL I was just so giddy because I don’t think I’ve got many opportunities to play somebody like that. It reminded me of characters I would have played in drama school — a lot more front-footed, a little bit bolder. Part of it was surprising an audience that might associate me with more interior, back-footed characters that I’ve played.

SCOTT I remember so clearly you saying the line, “There’s vampires at my door.” That line could seem completely preposterous and it’s a hard sell, but it’s unique, right? I’m obsessed with writing that has a real autograph about it.

MESCAL ChatGPT wouldn’t come up with that.

SCOTT Exactly. And human beings have an extraordinary way of expressing themselves. I feel the same way when people talk about big acting.

MESCAL I love big acting.

SCOTT Some people do that kind of polite, nobody-will-notice-me acting, and sometimes it can be a little dull.

MESCAL You’re looking for an opportunity to play something truthfully, but also if that truth can be a bigger, more fractious choice, maybe that could be fun.

What’s the biggest acting you’ve ever done?

SCOTT Oh my God. Pick a card, any card. I did a play called “Present Laughter” by Noël Coward, about a guy who’s an over-the-top actor. It was kind of a farce, and I’m obsessed with farce.

MESCAL I am so jealous of people who can do farce, I don’t know where I would start.

SCOTT It’s all about timing the slam of the door, and there’s no greater feeling than when you’re talking to the other actor and you are waiting for the audience to stop laughing. You’d love it because it’s so physical as well.

MESCAL I’m just a bit scared of comedy because I didn’t do a lot of it in drama school. Don’t think [I’ve got] a particularly funny disposition.

SCOTT Are you out of your mind? I’m going to have a little think now.

MESCAL I’d love to do a rom-com.

SCOTT I think you’d be very good at playing some sort of neurotic.

MESCAL Really?

SCOTT Yeah. I love those kinds of characters that don’t have a sense of humor.

MESCAL No sense of humor. Great. I can do that, I can do that easily. [Laughs.]

With “Normal People” and “Fleabag,” where you played romantic leads, how did you handle the intensity of the audience imprinting on you?

MESCAL I remember the first couple of months of that happening, I was like, “Jesus, what can I do?” And the answer is actually nothing. There’s nothing you can do about it if somebody wants to imprint or project onto you.

SCOTT That was all during the pandemic, wasn’t it?

MESCAL Yeah, yeah.

Was it better or worse that you were in your house for most of it?

MESCAL Much, much better. Even doing junkets when “Normal People” came out, I was really glad to do it within the confines of my own home. I could put the laptop down and nobody knew where I was.

Andrew, you weren’t trapped at home when “Fleabag” came out. Could you tell something had changed in the way people perceived you?

SCOTT It already happened a little bit when I did “Sherlock” [playing Moriarty] because that really does have a fandom. There were like a thousand people that would come to set, it was absolutely insane.

MESCAL Jesus.

SCOTT So “Fleabag" was completely different in that sense. It didn’t have the same frenzy.

Maybe not as you were filming it, but there was definitely a passionate fandom once it was released.

SCOTT There was, but I really enjoyed that because I love the show. I’m so proud of it and I loved that part, so I liked that it really affected people so much.

MESCAL Still! I watch it once a year.

Paul, you even dressed as the hot priest for Halloween.

MESCAL I did. That went down a bit of a storm.

When you have a breakthrough project like those two series, and you’re seen differently in this business afterward, is it hard not to get swept up by all the offers that come your way?

MESCAL I know what I like. I don’t have the confidence in myself as an actor to do something that isn’t good. I don’t think I can pull the wool over people’s eyes with bells and whistles in terms of performance, and I’m actually glad I can’t do that.

SCOTT But is it weird when you are in L.A. now? I opened up my curtains this morning, and there you are.

MESCAL Yeah, my Gucci billboard.

SCOTT That’s insane.

MESCAL It is bananas. Yeah, I’m really proud of that, but I’m also acutely aware the only reason that’s happening is because people are enjoying the work that I’m doing. It can all disappear, like that.

Paul, you’re currently working on Ridley Scott’s sequel to “Gladiator.” I’m sure you’ve been pursued for a lot of blockbusters, so what made you choose this one?

MESCAL I love the first film and I think Ridley is an all-time great, so that was a no-brainer to me. I don’t really have a desire to make lots of big films in my life, but if this was the only big film I was ever to make, I would put my name into the mix anywhere for that. I’m having a great time doing it, but I also think there’s an obligation to understand that I don’t want an audience to get bored of me, or expect me to do the big indie film every year or two, because they’re really hard to get right.

Which is hard to get right, the big film or the indie?

MESCAL A film like “All of Us Strangers” or “Aftersun.” I’ve been incredibly lucky that those scripts came across my desk because there’s lots of other indies that are really well intentioned that don’t reach an audience. Also, it’s hard to go to the emotional well year after year with stuff like this, so I don’t want an audience to get bored of my choices or expect that I’m going to do that.

SCOTT Do you remember you got the “Gladiator” call when we were on the set of “All of Us Strangers”? You were so excited. I think I was even more excited, but you were so lit up about it. I think one of the fun things about being an actor that’s open to you is that you can do whatever you really want.

MESCAL That’s what makes you tick, to go from scenes like we get to play in “All of Us Strangers” to then doing stuff where you’re running around in an arena. If I was to boil down why I love this job, it’s that you get to go to work and pretend all day long but the thing that you would imagine as a child is actually actualized.

SCOTT Have there been any moments in “Gladiator” where you’re like, “This is amazing”?

MESCAL The first day was just bananas. There was camels and thousands of extras. Two close-ups on me. A close-up on the action. And you’re just like, “I’ve got to fake this till I make it.” Wild. Wild. Wild.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s playing. It really is. You’re required to play a part, you’re not required to work a part.

It’s heartening to hear you both describe acting as play or pretend. You talk about it in such joyful terms, but some of the other leading men I’ve spoken to will …

MESCAL … fetishize the pain.

SCOTT It embarrasses them.

MESCAL It’s important to say that “pretend” doesn’t make it any less emotional or difficult to do, but I think it actually gives you a greater range of possibility in a scene. That’s not to say there weren’t days on [“All of Us Strangers”] that felt like some sort of psychological torture.

SCOTT Absolutely.

MESCAL But the act of making it? It can’t be that, because then it just becomes about “How hard can I grip this table? How much pain can I put myself through in order to talk about it to the press?”

SCOTT I think of it sometimes like you invited somebody around for dinner and you said, “I could not find any organic chicken in the market, it was an absolute nightmare. Then I had to hoover the place from top to bottom.” And they’re just like, “Give me a glass of wine. I don’t want to hear about what you did, I’m just here for dinner.”

MESCAL Yeah, that’s spot on.

SCOTT What you need to do is have the generosity to get the chicken out.

MESCAL Organic or not.

Kyle Buchanan is a pop culture reporter and serves as The Projectionist, the awards season columnist for The Times. He is the author of “Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road.” More about Kyle Buchanan

A version of this article appears in print on Dec. 7, 2023, Section C, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Two Hearts Beating As One. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

[denimbex1986]

'“Have you seen the sausage ad?” Andrew Scott asked me.

“No, no, we’re not going to talk about that,” Paul Mescal said.

It was a mid-November morning in Los Angeles, and I was having breakfast with two actors who have created some of the most indelible romantic leads of recent vintage: Scott, 47, played the “Hot Priest” on the second season of “Fleabag,” while the 27-year-old Mescal broke through — and broke hearts — as the conflicted jock Connell in Hulu’s “Normal People.”

Now, instead of aiming those love beams at women, they’ll point them at each other in the drama “All of Us Strangers,” due Dec. 22 in theaters. It’s like an Avengers-level team-up, if the Avengers recruited exclusively from the ranks of sad-eyed Irish heartthrobs who caused a sensation over the 2019-20 television season.

But before we could talk about their sexy, shattering new movie, Scott gently ribbed his co-star about an ad for an Irish sausage brand, Denny, that Mescal had starred in just out of drama school. (Though the rest of the world was introduced to Mescal in “Normal People,” Ireland already knew him from the ubiquitous sausage commercial.)

“Look, I needed that job in a massive way,” Mescal said. “That paid my rent for the rest of the year. But if I could take it back …”

“Ah, no, it’s lovely you have that!” Scott said. “I actually thought the character you created in the sausage ad was …”

“… career defining?” Mescal offered.

“It made me want a sausage!” Scott said a little too eagerly, causing both men to laugh. “Easy, folks, that’s too easy a joke,” Mescal said.

Scott and Mescal’s teasing, affectionate chemistry is put to excellent use in “All of Us Strangers,” directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend,” “45 Years”). Scott stars as Adam, a lonely writer who finds that his childhood home has become a mysterious portal that allows him to reconnect with his long-dead parents (played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). At the same time as Adam grapples with this past made manifestly present, he navigates an uncertain but tantalizing future with his neighbor Harry (Mescal), with whom he develops an intense romantic bond.

Over breakfast, we discussed the movie, which recently took the top prize at the British Independent Film Awards in addition to wins for directing, writing and Mescal’s supporting performance. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Andrew, you were attached to this movie first. How did you feel when Paul was cast?

SCOTT I was really thrilled because I was hoping that people would be able to see how cinematic and brilliant that role is.

MESCAL It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t be interested in it.

SCOTT Well, the character is such a vessel for love. To be able to play love, it’s something that you have to just know how to embody, and Paul is so excellent about being able to allow the audience in. When I heard he was interested, I was saying to Andrew, “Make that happen!”

MESCAL Even if I didn’t like the script or Andrew Haigh as much as I do, and I knew Andrew [Scott] was going to be doing the film, I still would have done the film.

SCOTT Would you?

MESCAL A hundred percent. And I know that probably sounds sycophantic, but when I was reading it and imagining you’d do it, I thought, “This is built for an actor of your caliber.” There’s lots of brilliant dramatic actors in the world, but what I think separates Andrew is his capacity to understand the dramatic requirements of a scene but also to play utterly against it. He finds humor in subject matter like this, which is really quite heavy, and if you can make an audience laugh, you’re halfway to making them cry.

This is a very tactile movie, too.

SCOTT There’s so much touching, whether that’s familial touching or a more sensual thing. People have talked an awful lot about the chemistry and the sex between our characters, but actually what I think is really radical and affecting about the relationship is how affectionate and tender they are with each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to play, isn’t it? Just real care.

MESCAL I find it healing to watch that kind of emotional intimacy. I remember being surprised when we watched it for the first time, because I didn’t remember being so close to your face when we were talking, how we were totally taking each other in. There’s a weird thing that I don’t think you can cheat: You know how when somebody you love is talking to you, and you look at their lips? It’s like, Jesus, I can’t remember doing that.

Andrew, you’ve said before that acting is a matter of revealing. What’s being revealed about you by taking on this role?

SCOTT I think an awful lot, if I’m honest. I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself, but it doesn’t take much to go back there — something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, “You’ve got a wife?” You could go, “No, I don’t,” or is that sort of a lie by omission? I think the challenge was to undo the work and go to that place where you feel frightened.

How were you able to emancipate yourself from shame?

SCOTT I genuinely think that acting helped me. When I was a kid, I started doing elocution lessons because I had a really bad lisp. “She sells seashells,” I had to say that 17 times a day. So they sent me to elocution, which was boring, but eventually it was speech and drama classes. I was so shy and terrified, but then someone would say, “Get up and do an improvisation,” and some part of me felt …

MESCAL … free?

SCOTT Free, and I loved it. And then I practiced it a little bit more and then started doing it as a job. When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident. To make something like [“All of Us Strangers”], it moves me, because I never thought that I’d get a chance to expose myself so much in a film like this or for it to be in such a trusting environment with such brilliant colleagues.

And do you rush headlong into the chance to expose yourself like that?

SCOTT I do. It’s my responsibility. The further I go into acting, I think that’s all it is, actually.

In the first scene you share, Paul’s character is boldly trying to flirt his way into Andrew’s apartment. Paul, it’s a kick to see you play a man so assertive and sure of what he wants.

MESCAL I was just so giddy because I don’t think I’ve got many opportunities to play somebody like that. It reminded me of characters I would have played in drama school — a lot more front-footed, a little bit bolder. Part of it was surprising an audience that might associate me with more interior, back-footed characters that I’ve played.

SCOTT I remember so clearly you saying the line, “There’s vampires at my door.” That line could seem completely preposterous and it’s a hard sell, but it’s unique, right? I’m obsessed with writing that has a real autograph about it.

MESCAL ChatGPT wouldn’t come up with that.

SCOTT Exactly. And human beings have an extraordinary way of expressing themselves. I feel the same way when people talk about big acting.

MESCAL I love big acting.

SCOTT Some people do that kind of polite, nobody-will-notice-me acting, and sometimes it can be a little dull.

MESCAL You’re looking for an opportunity to play something truthfully, but also if that truth can be a bigger, more fractious choice, maybe that could be fun.

What’s the biggest acting you’ve ever done?

SCOTT Oh my God. Pick a card, any card. I did a play called “Present Laughter” by Noël Coward, about a guy who’s an over-the-top actor. It was kind of a farce, and I’m obsessed with farce.

MESCAL I am so jealous of people who can do farce, I don’t know where I would start.

SCOTT It’s all about timing the slam of the door, and there’s no greater feeling than when you’re talking to the other actor and you are waiting for the audience to stop laughing. You’d love it because it’s so physical as well.

MESCAL I’m just a bit scared of comedy because I didn’t do a lot of it in drama school. Don’t think [I’ve got] a particularly funny disposition.

SCOTT Are you out of your mind? I’m going to have a little think now.

MESCAL I’d love to do a rom-com.

SCOTT I think you’d be very good at playing some sort of neurotic.

MESCAL Really?

SCOTT Yeah. I love those kinds of characters that don’t have a sense of humor.

MESCAL No sense of humor. Great. I can do that, I can do that easily. [Laughs.]

With “Normal People” and “Fleabag,” where you played romantic leads, how did you handle the intensity of the audience imprinting on you?

MESCAL I remember the first couple of months of that happening, I was like, “Jesus, what can I do?” And the answer is actually nothing. There’s nothing you can do about it if somebody wants to imprint or project onto you.

SCOTT That was all during the pandemic, wasn’t it?

MESCAL Yeah, yeah.

Was it better or worse that you were in your house for most of it?

MESCAL Much, much better. Even doing junkets when “Normal People” came out, I was really glad to do it within the confines of my own home. I could put the laptop down and nobody knew where I was.

Andrew, you weren’t trapped at home when “Fleabag” came out. Could you tell something had changed in the way people perceived you?

SCOTT It already happened a little bit when I did “Sherlock” [playing Moriarty] because that really does have a fandom. There were like a thousand people that would come to set, it was absolutely insane.

MESCAL Jesus.

SCOTT So “Fleabag" was completely different in that sense. It didn’t have the same frenzy.

Maybe not as you were filming it, but there was definitely a passionate fandom once it was released.

SCOTT There was, but I really enjoyed that because I love the show. I’m so proud of it and I loved that part, so I liked that it really affected people so much.

MESCAL Still! I watch it once a year.

Paul, you even dressed as the hot priest for Halloween.

MESCAL I did. That went down a bit of a storm.

When you have a breakthrough project like those two series, and you’re seen differently in this business afterward, is it hard not to get swept up by all the offers that come your way?

MESCAL I know what I like. I don’t have the confidence in myself as an actor to do something that isn’t good. I don’t think I can pull the wool over people’s eyes with bells and whistles in terms of performance, and I’m actually glad I can’t do that.

SCOTT But is it weird when you are in L.A. now? I opened up my curtains this morning, and there you are.

MESCAL Yeah, my Gucci billboard.

SCOTT That’s insane.

MESCAL It is bananas. Yeah, I’m really proud of that, but I’m also acutely aware the only reason that’s happening is because people are enjoying the work that I’m doing. It can all disappear, like that.

Paul, you’re currently working on Ridley Scott’s sequel to “Gladiator.” I’m sure you’ve been pursued for a lot of blockbusters, so what made you choose this one?

MESCAL I love the first film and I think Ridley is an all-time great, so that was a no-brainer to me. I don’t really have a desire to make lots of big films in my life, but if this was the only big film I was ever to make, I would put my name into the mix anywhere for that. I’m having a great time doing it, but I also think there’s an obligation to understand that I don’t want an audience to get bored of me, or expect me to do the big indie film every year or two, because they’re really hard to get right.

Which is hard to get right, the big film or the indie?

MESCAL A film like “All of Us Strangers” or “Aftersun.” I’ve been incredibly lucky that those scripts came across my desk because there’s lots of other indies that are really well intentioned that don’t reach an audience. Also, it’s hard to go to the emotional well year after year with stuff like this, so I don’t want an audience to get bored of my choices or expect that I’m going to do that.

SCOTT Do you remember you got the “Gladiator” call when we were on the set of “All of Us Strangers”? You were so excited. I think I was even more excited, but you were so lit up about it. I think one of the fun things about being an actor that’s open to you is that you can do whatever you really want.

MESCAL That’s what makes you tick, to go from scenes like we get to play in “All of Us Strangers” to then doing stuff where you’re running around in an arena. If I was to boil down why I love this job, it’s that you get to go to work and pretend all day long but the thing that you would imagine as a child is actually actualized.

SCOTT Have there been any moments in “Gladiator” where you’re like, “This is amazing”?

MESCAL The first day was just bananas. There was camels and thousands of extras. Two close-ups on me. A close-up on the action. And you’re just like, “I’ve got to fake this till I make it.” Wild. Wild. Wild.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s playing. It really is. You’re required to play a part, you’re not required to work a part.

It’s heartening to hear you both describe acting as play or pretend. You talk about it in such joyful terms, but some of the other leading men I’ve spoken to will …

MESCAL … fetishize the pain.

SCOTT It embarrasses them.

MESCAL It’s important to say that “pretend” doesn’t make it any less emotional or difficult to do, but I think it actually gives you a greater range of possibility in a scene. That’s not to say there weren’t days on [“All of Us Strangers”] that felt like some sort of psychological torture.

SCOTT Absolutely.

MESCAL But the act of making it? It can’t be that, because then it just becomes about “How hard can I grip this table? How much pain can I put myself through in order to talk about it to the press?”

SCOTT I think of it sometimes like you invited somebody around for dinner and you said, “I could not find any organic chicken in the market, it was an absolute nightmare. Then I had to hoover the place from top to bottom.” And they’re just like, “Give me a glass of wine. I don’t want to hear about what you did, I’m just here for dinner.”

MESCAL Yeah, that’s spot on.

SCOTT What you need to do is have the generosity to get the chicken out.

MESCAL Organic or not.'

[luneemeritus]

TEAM ERIK PEOPLE (E/C shippers, Erik apologists), weaponize yourself. When someone come bullshiting on your posts/profile/fy, always know what correct answer you should give. Check here how to identify misinformation.

• Christine is a grown woman of 20+ years old, Erik is not older than 50. There is nothing creepy or "grooming" about it, you know what is 'creepy'? Ageism.

• Erik didn't kill buquet, it was suicide

• Erik saw the count de chagny as threat, do you expect him to guess an invader's intention? Magic crystall balls weren't on sail back in the 19th century.

• Erik is not a "manipulator", he is actually pretty easy to be manipulated. And Christine literally confessed to use this to manipulate him and make him act as a loyal slave. WOW WHAT A MANIPULATOR 😱

• Erik pretended to be an Angel because he felt unworthy of being loved as a man, and, it was Christine who called him an Angel first, he just didn't deny it (such a dumb thing to believe in Angel of Music shit right?)

• Erik didn't try to apart Raoul and Christine, during a long time in the story, he didn't even know who Raoul was. It was Raoul that forced a rivality and turned Christine's life into hell by jeaously. He knew they were "playing engaged" and wasn't bothered by that

• Erik didn't only tought Christine how to sing, he also encouraged her to 'enjoy herself' and be independent of victorian pathiarchy bullshit

• Erik didn't kidnap her until the end. She came willingly multiple times

• Yes, he is romantic. He were on shopping for Christine even hating being outside with other people, prepared dinner for her, confessed beautiful poems and speeches of love, comforted her when she was in the graveyard and tried his best to make her comfortable, even during his insanity he never hurted her and even saved her fucking life

• Christine herself confessed that she feared Erik only because of his face. When Raoul asked if she would love Erik if he was handsome, she said he didn't want to hear the answer because she KNEW it's true

• "oh he extorts the managers 😭💔 poor rich men that mistreat and humiliate their workers and had a small part of their money stolen by a homeless outcasted 😭"

• Erik never killed any innocent person, the chandelier could be a warning to the managers who agressively humiliated and fired Giry, or, it could indeed be an accident, little to no things Erik says and confesses aren't true (and he was a SLAVE Mazandaran, stop victim-blaming him for fuck's sake)

• Erik didn't only LOVE Christine, he also kept considering her a good, honest girl even after everything that happened, he gave up his chance to be happy to do the right thing, he's too good for this world

• if someone says Christine is a compulsive selfish liar and emotional manipulator by the mistakes she committed in the novel, this person will probably lose their entire blog and be doxxed. Then why do some people consider Erik to be insane and malicious because of >ONE< meltdown he had, that was caused by getting rejected, humiliated and played for a fool by the woman he loved?

• when someone come with "stop shipping E/C" or "you'll get abused in real life by being Team Erik" for some dumbshit reason, just tell them to shut the fuck up and live your life

• Erik is not a perfect abuse survivor. He is traumatized, needy, sometimes possessive and selfish, yet neither of these aspects make him a bad person. He is not, in fact, a bad person. And he proved that by choosing to be redeemed

• he doesn't feel "entitled" of Christine's love or affection, he is *desperate* for love and acception. Yes he loves her, but their situation would be way different it Erik wasn't so broken and if she wasn't so immature

• how you expect Erik to "get better" and "treat himself" in the 19th century wtf is wrong with you, have you forgotten all the mentally ill people (and NON-mentally ill people such as homossexuals and women who didn't want to get married) who got tortured and murdered? Get a fucking grip

• Erik has absolutely NO RESPONSABILITY for his abuses, traumas or mental/emotional disabilities

• EVERYONE, i repeat, EVERYONE comitted mistakes in the novel. No character is a saint nor a devil. Raoul surely has his qualities, but HE IS, IN FACT, a creepy stalker, feels entitled of Christine's body and slut-shames her. Christine has agency and acts with kindness most of the time, but she ALSO lies and manipulates Erik's feelings. Erik is impulsive and self-destructive, but he ISN'T malicious and is self aware of his mistakes, he fixes what he's done wrong. The Persian tries to help everyone and still not getting biased, but he doesn't listen to Erik neither gives value to what he has to say, one of the reasons Erik felt so vulnerable, lonely and betrayed. STOP PUTTING THE BLAME ENTIRELY ON ERIK, that's completely flat and dumb

• love and defend Erik all you want and can, fuck antis

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

🎉🎉SALES BLITZ🎉🎉

Eternally Single, Rosa Alverez by Neerja Pawar is a hot new romantic comedy–check out the gorgeous Latianx romcom and be sure to grab your copy today!

Amazon: https://bit.ly/ESRA-NeerjaPawar

~*~

Eternally Single, Rosa Álvarez brings to you all the beloved tropes of the hottest romance novels: The Spanish Love Deception, The Kiss Quotient, It Happened One Summer and more!

———

“This story will make you forget your reality and you will immerse in the story, you might actually feel like you are there with the characters, because of how the book is written.” — Mridu Agarwal, Bookstagrammer and Graphic Designer (@storypals)

“It felt like I was watching a really fun, emotional and comedy movie with swoonworthy hero.” — N.M. Patel (Author of Luv Shuv in New York)

“Let me tell you... Neerja has raised the bar for book boyfriends because Sam is EVERYTHING. This was such an easy read in the best kind of way! I didn't want to put it down and if life hadn't gotten in the way I definitely would have read it in one sitting.” — Anise Starre (Author of One Week in Paradise)

“This book’s prose and story are as lovely, warm, and comfortable as being one of Rosa’s clients in her secret job. The author’s words have a lovely flow about them, as if she's humming a lullaby to get you into a soothing state of mind.” — Johanna Atman (Book Reviewer and Author of Team Roommate)

———-

Debut author Neerja Pawar has infused her novel with all the love, banter and men written by women she wishes to see in the real world…

Rosa Álvarez leads two lives.

One is deceptively normal. A respectable physiotherapist living in Los Angeles: the city of fish tacos and famous bigwigs. She works hard at her job, loves living the single life, and has a trip home to Mexico at the very top of her priority list.

The other is her mother’s worst nightmare.

For one, the first is a lie. She does love her job, but its uniqueness would put any good chick flick to shame. She hasn’t been on a date in five years, at least, not any good ones. And she will do anything to avoid a trip to her sleepy hometown.

But when a notorious man from her past shows up in LA, Rosa’s secret life starts unravelling. There’s also the matter of the really annoying actor (who just so happens to be annoyingly good-looking) she keeps bumping into whom she cannot seem to shake off.

As her lies pile up, will Rosa be able to keep her two worlds separate? Or will her mother’s flying chancla find her first?

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

Partner's Brunch

I know I said the next thing I wrote would be "Two Can Plat at this Game," and I did start writing it today, but then my muse struck while I was out work and I knew if I didn't get this written out that I would lose it forever.

Dedicated to @snailsandpuppy-dogtails bc she loves my partner's brunch headcanon

Summary: Every Saturday the team is away on a case, the partners of team members get together and do brunch. They have decided to invite Penelope to join them, even if she's not dating anyone on the team. Right? (Part chat fic, part dialogue, all chaos)

Word count: 2034

Can also be found here on Ao3

In Profiler Partner’s Brunch Bunch group chat

Kristy: Hey, I was thinking, I know she’s not the partner of a profiler, but should we invite Penelope to join us? I know she must be struggling right now, this would probably help her a lot.

Krystall: You know, I was going to suggest the same thing. She might not be a romantic partner to any of them, but she was their work partner, so she totally counts.

Max: I mean I’m easy. I feel like as the newest member I get the absolute least amount of say 😂

Will: Plus, maybe we can push the romantic partner envelope a bit… since she and Luke aren’t working together anymore…

Kristy: Yes, exactly!

Savannah: Damn, Penelope’s gonna be there now??? And I don’t get to hang out with her because I have the AUDACITY to be living in another state? Unfair.

Kristy: Well, I still have to ask her. Give me a minute.

In a chat between Kristy and Penelope

Kristy: Hey, so Krystall, Will, Max, and I have something called the “Profiler Partner Brunch Bunch” and we all get brunch every Saturday the team is away, and I know you’re not dating anyone on the team, but we want to make you an honorary member, make sure you never feel excluded. We’d love it if you could join us on Saturday. I know it’s kind of short notice, but the idea JUST struck us.

Penelope: Kristy Simmons you absolute angel, I would LOVE to.

Penelope: That sounds like so much fun!!! I would love to.

Kristy: Yay!! I’ll add you to the chat.

***

That Saturday, Penelope was greeted by kisses and hugs from her friends. “This is such a cute idea,” she said as they sat down. “Who came up with it?”

“Well for the longest while I was the only one,” Will said. “But then Beth came along, way back when, and she and I started this, and people have been filtering in and out ever since. Alex’s husband came by when he was in town, Kate’s husband, when she was on the team, Savannah, of course, and then everyone else here.”

“Savannah still comes, occasionally, when she’s in town,” Kristy said. “Andrew does too.”

“That’s amazing! Did Lisa ever come, back when she and Luke were still together?” Penelope didn’t know why she was asking about Lisa, especially since Luke had asked her out just a few days before. She still couldn’t quite believe it.

“No, actually,” Will replied.

Penelope had to admit, she was shocked. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Kristy said. “I mean, we invited her and told her she was always welcome, but she never came. Always had to work, I guess.”

“You know,” Krystall said, “I can’t say I ever met her.”

“Me neither,” Max added. “Although I came after her, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” Kristy confirmed.

“I’ve never heard anyone on the team mention this,” Penelope said. “Do they know?”

Kristy, Will, Krystall, and Max all looked at each other, thinking. “No, I don’t think they do,” Krystall eventually said.

“Not that we’re trying to keep it a secret,” Will added.  “But it hasn’t exactly come up, you know? It’s like our own little support group. It’s nice to talk to people who understand how hard it can be to have your partner gone a lot.”

“Yeah,” Max said. “It can put a strain on any relationship. New, or old, so this is how we cope with that, relieve some of the stress. And yeah, it sounds selfish, because they’re off risking their lives and hunting down the worst in humanity, but it can be hard being the partner of someone who’s gone all the time, it’s just a fact.” She took a sip of her drink. “Plus the mimosas are awesome.”

“A very welcome bonus,” Kristy agreed, taking a sip of her own.

“Penelope, are you okay?” Krystall asked her. “You seem like you’re panicking.”

Penelope thought she had been doing a good job of keeping her emotions from showing on her face, but apparently she was wrong. All that talk about how hard it could be to be with someone who was gone all the time… especially a new relationship… it scared her a bit. She really liked Luke, and she wanted whatever they were starting to work out. “Can you guys keep a secret?”

Her four friends looked at each other, slightly confused, then back at her. “Yeah.”

“Luke asked me out the other day,”

“Holy shit,” Will whisper-screamed. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. And all this talk about how hard it can be dating someone who’s gone all the time is making me kinda nervous. Actually it’s making me pretty scared.”

“Well that’s a good thing, right?” Max asked. “Because if you’re scared, it means you want it to work out, which means you’re willing to put the work in.”

Penelope was unsure. “I guess so…”

Krystall took her hand. “Sweetheart, you have nothing to be scared about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because if you want it to work, and he wants it to work,”

“And he does,” Kristy added. “He really, really does, trust us.”

“Then it will,” Krystall finished. “Everyone can see that there’s something between you two.”

“Including me,” Max said. “And I’ve only seen you together once.”

Penelope turned to her, shocked. “Wait, how?”

“It’s the way he looks at you,” all four people she was sitting with answered simultaneously.

“Wow, okay.”

“So, details,” Kristy said, shoving her lightly. “We need details! When? Where? How? And when? Seriously, when? You just left the team, and they’re not even back from their first case without you!”

Penelope felt a blush slowly creep up her neck and cheeks as she recalled that night. “It was at my going away party. He pulled me away for a water break and said, ‘I was wondering, since we’re not going to work together anymore, maybe I could take you to dinner?’ He was really nervous, too, blushing and stammering over his words and such. It was actually pretty cute.”

“Wait,” Krystall said. “I saw that! Oh, that’s so exciting!”

“He couldn’t wait one more second to ask you out,” Will said. “And you wondered how we could all tell he had something for you.”

Penelope blushed and looked down to her drink. “I guess that’s fair.”

“So when are you two going out?” Max asked. “And where’s he taking you?”

“I don’t know, we didn’t really get the chance to talk about it yet.” As if on cue, Penelope’s phone went off. A text from Luke. “Actually, that’s him right now.”

“Well, answer it!” Kristy says excitedly.

Penelope unlocked her phone and read the text from Luke. “He says that at the rate they’re going with the case right now, they should be back by Wednesday at the latest, unless they hit a major roadblock, and would I be interested in going out that night, and if not, the next day?”

“Oh my god that’s amazing,” Max blurted. “I mean he wants to take you out on a Wednesday, a night that’s not very popular for dates, as soon as he gets back from a case? He wants to go out with you as soon as he possibly can, which I mean checks out, since he asked you out right away after you left, so it means he’s super into you.” Everyone else stared at her. “What?”

“You sound like a profiler,” Will told her.

“Spencer talks a lot. You learn a thing or two.”

“Well, what are you going to respond?” Kristy asks Penelope.

She spoke as she typed her response. “Sounds good to me! Can’t wait.”

Luke: Me neither.

Luke: I’m really glad you said yes. I kinda like you a lot, so I was really nervous you were going to say and our whole friendship would be *woosh* out the window.

Penelope: Well, I kinda like YOU a lot, so the answer was easy. Come back soon and safe, okay?

Luke: I promise <3

Penelope bit her lip and grinned at the little heart emoticon Luke sent her. Just then, Kristy’s phone went off. “It’s a text from Matt. We’re driving to the family of a victim’s house right now to talk to them, and Luke is looking at his phone and grinning like an idiot. What are the odds he’s texting Penelope?” She looked up from her phone at the woman in question. “Can I tell him?”

“Go ahead.”

Kristy spoke out loud as she typed. “One hundred percent. I’m with her right now and she’s texting him.” A pause as Matt responded, and then, “He wants to know what we’re doing.”

“Is this what High School is like nowadays?” Krystall asked. 

“Probably,” Max replied. Then to Kristy she said, “Tell him that we’re doing a Partner’s Brunch and she is an honorary member because she used to be on the team.”

“He says, hopefully she won’t be an honorary member much longer, the way he was smiling at his phone. Now that she’s off the team, maybe he’ll get his head out his ass and actually ask her out.”

“I want to see that smile he’s talking about,” Penelope said.

“I’ll ask him if he can send a picture.” A moment as they waited for his reply. “He says he can't, he's put his phone away and stopped smiling as much.”

“Well then let me fix that,” Penelope said, pulling her phone back out.

Penelope: Give any thought to where you’re going to take me?

Luke: There’s this new place downtown that supposedly has AMAZING vegetarian options.

Luke: And live music and dancing, if that’s something that interests you.

“Damn, who knew Luke as a romantic?” Will asked after Penelope shared these texts with them.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Krystall said. “Not after some of the stories David has shared with me.”

Penelope: That interests me very much, Luke.

Penelope: You better hurry up and catch that guy, because I’m very excited now.

Luke: I'll do my best for you <3

“We got a picture!” Kristy announced. She showed her phone to them, and on it there was a picture of Luke staring down at his phone, a grin stretching practically from ear to ear, and he was, without a doubt, blushing.

Luke: Will do, Chica

“What’s with Chica?” Max asked.

“He called me it once years ago because I look like the absolute last person on earth who would have the last name Garcia, and he made a joke about it, and I told him I hate the name, which, I don’t, but I couldn’t have him know that, and he’s called me it a lot since. At first I think it was just kind of to spite me, but now it’s cute.”

Luke: Any reason Matt would have just tried (and failed) to stealthily take a picture of me???

Penelope: I’m out with Kristy, Krystall, Will, and Max right now, and while you and I were texting, he texted Kristy saying you were grinning at your phone and blushing and what were the odds you were texting me?

Penelope: She said 100% and I said I wanted to see you blushing, because I didn’t believe you could. I was wrong.

Luke: WELL I’M BLUSHING EVEN MORE, NOW!!!

“Matt wants to know, what the fuck she just said to him, because he’s blushing even harder and typing furiously.”

Penelope: Matt wants to know what we’re talking about because you’re losing your mind over there.

Luke: Can I tell him?

Penelope: Sure, go ahead.

A minute passed by before Luke texted again.

Luke: BAHAHA HE’S LOSING HIS FUCKING MIND

Luke: TARA ALMOST DROVE UP A LIGHT POLE

Luke: I’M LAUGHING SO HARD, HELP, I CAN’T BREATHE

Penelope: LUKE, WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THEM???

Luke: “Well, Matt, Penelope and I are just discussing where I’m going to take her out for dinner for our date once we get back from this case.”

Just then Kristy burst out into laughter. 

“Matt told you that Luke told him?” Penelope guessed.

“Yep.”

Luke: Guess the cat’s out of the bag now Penelope: Good. I hate cats being bags.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Every Marvel Cinematic Universe TV series to date has had its own distinct look and feel, from the sitcom-derived pastiche episodes of WandaVision all the way back to the grim-and-gritty, dimly lit street narratives of Jessica Jones and Daredevil. Marvel’s Loki has been one of the MCU’s more distinctive-looking series, though, from the dimly lit, industrial-brown corridors of Time Variance Authority HQ to the vivid neon city of Sharoo on the doomed moon Lamentis-1.

Series director Kate Herron confirms that some of these designs were directly inspired by classic science fiction, while others were more personal experimentation. We sat down with Loki’s cinematographer, Autumn Durald Arkapaw, to break down what went into designing some of the most striking and memorable sequences from the series’ first three episodes.

This interview has been edited for concision and clarity.

EPISODE 1: TIME THEATER INTERROGATIONS

Autumn Durald Arkapaw: Kate [Herron]’s sensibilities led me to get the job in the first place. We shared those sensibilities, around noir films and more moody thrillers, so we were already on the same page as far as lighting and tone. So when it came to the Time Theater, Kasra [Farahani], the production designer, did a fantastic job of creating a space that had a lot of opportunity to feel textural and moody, and create symmetry. I’m big on symmetry. I like to frame center-punched, keeping in mind the architecture of the room, and framing for the architecture and the people at the same time. Stanley Kubrick does that very well. A Clockwork Orange obviously came up in our discussions. Some of our main references were David Fincher’s Zodiac and Terry Gilliam’s Brazil, and the original Blade Runner, in terms of creating spaces that feel strong and weighted, with the people in them placed in a way where the conversation feels very heavy, so you’re paying a lot of attention to the lines, and where your eyes are drawn.

We did some lighting changes above, in the Brutalist ceiling. The lights move, so when we’re cutting back and forth, you see the lights change on the actors. We’re trying to time those movements to the dialogue. The editing was fantastic with that scene. We shot a good amount of coverage, and [series stars Tom Hiddleston as Loki and Owen Wilson as Mobius] play in that space a lot. So we’re trying to always keep it interesting, every time they go back there, changing up the lighting and the projections. That’s probably one of my favorite spaces in the show.

And then the acting, obviously — they’re riffing off each other, and you’re in the room with them and feeling the energy. It was very exciting. That scene was up front in our schedule, so Owen and Tom were getting to know each other in general. We got to watch that happen before our eyes, and it was very comical.

One of the most noticable things about that space is the harsh, rectangular overhead spotlights — Tom Hiddleston starts his interrogation under a spotlight, and when he gets angry, he moves himself back under it. How did you discuss that kind of blocking and framing?

The thing with Tom is, he’s a genius. He’s just a fantastic actor, The amount of things I could say about how amazing he is on set, and character-wise, the list goes on and on. You can introduce marks and let actors know where you’d like them to be for a shot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s where they’ll go. Some actors like to be more freeform. But with Tom, I wouldn’t have to say “Stand under that light.” He just knows, and he’ll play off that because of the space. He walks in, sees how it’s lit, knows our agenda, and uses that in the character.

So there were certain moments where he asked, “Is this what you’re thinking?” or we would have a discussion. But mostly, he uses the environment around him to tell the story as well, and he took in that lighting as part of the character. Actors know how they look in certain types of light. He’s very good at that. So he played with that in that space, for sure.

When we pull back and take in the whole room, the lighting feels punitive — the striped shadows are noir-movie standards, like light coming through blinds, but they also feel like prison bars. Is that something you discussed?

We never talked about prison bars, but in designing that space, Kasra was thinking about what that space was — being arrested, and being judged. It’s a claustrophobic space. Loki is slightly free to communicate and move around, but the walls and ceiling are concrete, there’s this fake light coming in, because obviously, in the TVA, there’s no day or night. You can see the light moving above, but there’s no sun there. It’s just moving at certain moments.

I had an idea, after seeing the latest Blade Runner, where Roger Deakins moves the lights around: Why don’t we have the lights move? It’s not easy to have big tungsten light sources above a ceiling set move like that, because it takes heavy motors. But my gaffer and key grip are amazing, and they figured out a way we could move the lights without causing shadows between each of the sections of lighting. It looks all like it’s moving at the same time. That took a lot of thought, getting those lights to move, and not just creating shafts of light that fade in and out. I think it helped a lot, because it’s very subtle. You’re only going to see it as they’re sitting. You’ll see sometimes the light moves from Owen’s shoulders into his eyes at the right moment, when you get lucky in the edit, and catch it at the right moment. It was great to have the resources to actually do stuff like that.

EPISODE 2: THE ROXXCART VARIANT PURSUIT

I’m a fan of green. If we’re designing a clinical environment, or a shopping mall, and we’ve got overhead fluorescents, I like to use cool white fluorescents that have kind of a green kick. I’m a big David Fincher fan, and there’s an undertone of green in his setups that I appreciate. So Roxxcart is a bigger shop that is now closed down, and Kasra outfitted it like a big-box Costco-type place? That wasn’t a full set — we went to this big warehouse, and he made it feel like that kind of store.

Above the space where we shot in, there were a bunch of fixtures. We completely removed those and put in our own tubes. They were RGB, and we could fade them and turn them off and on to our liking, flicker them, make them red when we wanted. When they’re cool white, I appreciate that green kick. I did a lookup-table color correction as well, to give it that tone. It’s meant to be clinical, but make you feel like you don’t know what’s at every turn. And we’re keeping lights on or off depending on which way we’re looking. Kate was a big fan of that space being very dark, with pockets of light. Our antagonist is supposed to come out of the darkness as people change identities.

We’re also trying to make that space look bigger than it actually was. We’re creating depth with light. That was a bitch to shoot — we had so much rigging. My team was amazing. If you go into a space like that, a Target or something, you’d think “The lighting here is not that big of a deal. It’s just overheads.” But being able to control all those overheads and make them different colors and flicker them takes a lot of rigging, with a dimmer board and the programming. In the editing afterward, it really does feel like a space that’s a lot bigger than it actually was. The red sequence is one of my favorites, for sure.

The camera is below waist level a lot in that sequence. What are you communicating there?

I always like to shoot low! It’s just how I see things. Some of my favorite films are detective thrillers from the past, Zodiac being one of those. I’ve always just loved shooting below the eyeline. Obviously there are moments in features I’ve shot where I want to be higher, because it’s more emotional or romantic or something. But in this kind of story, where you have these amazing spaces, and you have multiple characters you’re trying to frame, all facing off and being strong, I’m just a bigger fan of seeing a ceiling than a floor. It’s an appreciation I have, as far as it feeling more mysterious. When a character is looking more mysterious, and you’re not trusting them, you’re trying to figure them out, I love that kind of framing. It’s amazing.

EPISODE 3: FIGHTING TO REACH THE LAMENTIS-1 ARK

That sequence has a great backstory. I did a lot of prep with Kate. We started prep in Los Angeles before we ended up in Atlanta. We knew that sequence was coming up. but in the script, it just says “Okay, so they end up at Sharoo, and then go on.” The description of that sequence went through an evolution, with the filmmakers discussing things, building the set, and collaborating, so early on, we spitballed about what we thought that could be. Having the support of Marvel and being able to build, and being able to do great stunts, we went bigger.

With the sequence as it evolved, Children of Men was a big reference for us. Kate was really interested in that feeling. She wanted to be with the characters the whole way. We tried to figure out, should the camera be handheld? Should it be Steadicam? We ended up with Steadicam. We looked at some previous oners, because we wanted this sequence to feel like a oner to the audience. Obviously, there are cuts in there, but we seamed certain shots together so the audience wouldn’t feel as though we cut. The intention was to feel like you’re on the run with Loki and Sylvie, racing to the ark, building up tension. You’re there with them as they’re fighting.

My husband’s a DP, and he shot True Detective season 1. That oner in True Detective was something we looked at as well, because it’s just one of those great oners that feels real and has those kinds of textural elements. We did pre-viz, we did rehearsals in the space, prior to shooting there. We went there a couple times and did camera rehearsals. We had an amazing Steadicam operator who I’ve worked with on my last four projects and features. He’s very in tune with my eye, and he’s great with those kind of moves. Kasra understood that we needed certain paths to go down, to help us get from point A to point B, so it feels like a run, it doesn’t feel like people keep entering the same space. Obviously, it’s hard to build really big sets where you can go very far. So he did a great job of knowing what we needed, and then adding stunts, and figuring out how we could feel like we were turning corners whenever we’re moving into different spaces.

How big was the physical space? How much of what we’re seeing there is digital?

Shiroo was very different from Roxxcart. At Roxxcart, we had blue at the end of the aisles, so they look like they’re going on a lot longer than they are. But we traveled to that space. It wasn’t built. Shiroo was built on a backlot. That was a set we had full control over, to build to our liking. Above a certain point, as you’re looking up at the buildings, that’s VFX. But we built the actual buildings up to a certain height, and then beyond that is a digital extension. As far as the depth as well, beyond a certain part of the street, it’s a digital extension. Obviously, the ark is an extension, and we’re using the explosions as cues to do a lot of lighting cues. But it was a very big set, a gorgeous set. It has a lot of texture.

Kasra had the idea of painting a lot of the set in black-light paint, which I’d never seen before, and putting black lights everywhere. Also, we had a bunch of units on top that lit the set for the moon color and those sources, and we had VFX helping us stitch it all together. We had to shoot the sequences and look at the overlays on set to make sure we were creating matchups that would work in the final edit.

For me, that’s a very successful collaboration of in-camera elements — that whole set was real — and having explosions on set along with lighting cues, and then the effects to seam it together and do the extension above and the depth. So everyone really had to play like a good chunk of that. But they’d be effects overall, I think taking what we shot and making it feel like something that big, you know, the buildings are falling. Obviously, we didn’t drop buildings on people. There’s some foam stuff. That was really fun. We shot all that stuff at night.

The camera work in that sequence is some of the most dynamic movement in the series. What was the most difficult part about coordinating that sequence for you?

Rehashing it now, it was the prep. When we were actually there in the space with Tom and Sylvie, running through all of this stuff, it really made sense by that time. We’d been pre-vizing it and reworking it and massaging it for so long that ultimately, once we got on the set and had to follow them with the camera, and the energy was going, and we had the extras there, it all fell together. I think one day, we even wrapped a little early, because we’d just nailed it. When you’re prepping those types of shots, in your mind, you’re always like, “This is gonna be hard, it’s going to be difficult to seam these together, I like perfect headroom.” And you also want it to feel real, and people have to jump and fly and tumble into the frame. But on the day, our execution ended up being pretty good. So that was the most surprising thing to me, because it was kind of a pain in the ass prepping, because there are so many elements. And we’re doing six episodes, so we’re always working, trying to chase the next prep. But it really fell into place nicely.

[newtonsheffield]

Our dearest angel Molly, I might be very deep into the rabbit hole of the BSU (clinically speaking). I was watching last night High School Musical (WHAT TEAM?! WILDCATS!!!!!) and every time Chad and Taylor were on screen, I couldn't help but picture Greg and Lucy, if they were using their awesomeness for evil (just the 1st one) instead of good (good = sailing the Kathony ship like two amazing capitans).

I mean, COULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM???!!!

I could totally see Greg and Lucy doing this in more than one situation. Specially the last one as they witness Kate and Anthony denying their feelings for each other or just being their adorable selves. Told you: way too into this rabbit hole. Send help

I'll let you be and call my therapist, brb!

Keeping brooing the southern hemisphere bro's wave 😎

Okay, Okay, OKAY!

Number 1, I love High School musical forever and always. But also, Camp Rock slaps too, my dude.

Lucy and Gregory are the chaos twins, imagine Lucy spinning in her chair one day and saying

"Gregory, do you want to do something a little bit mean, but also very very funny?" And Gregory just abandons whatever he's already doing, scooting his chair over to her desk like. "Whatever you're planning, let's do it."

In fact... shall we????

Lucy really couldn't say what had sparked the idea when she looked back on it. Only that when the notice for the conference Kate had been booked on past her desk, and she'd seen the hotel that was hosting it, something had nagged at the back of her mind. Thinking, thinking, thinking, about the connection. Had she stayed there? No, that wasn't right. She'd seen the name printed somewhere she was sure. Her fingers drummed across her desk as she wondered, looking at the hotel online, and then she remembered.

Because there, on the website posed for a picture at the reception desk, was Cynthia from Lucy's Lower sixth geography class. Satisfied that she'd solved the puzzle Lucy moved on with her day, planning to book Kate's accomodation when she'd finished her filing.

"Jesus Christ Bridgerton!" Kate's voice snapped, swaying away from Anthony, her eyes flickering embarrassedly as he pushed lightly against his chest. Lucy smirked, whatever had occurred this time didn't really matter. The result was the same, Kate and Anthony in denial, really someone just needed to lock those two in a room together and- an idea struck Lucy like a bolt of lightning. She smiled sympathetically as Kate passed, closing her office door with a sharp click. Waiting patiently until she was sure Kate couldn't hear her.

"Hey Gregory!" Lucy hissed at her counterpart. Gregory looked up from his CatWoman comic, his eyes curious. "Do you wanna do something that's a little mean but also could help two people fall madly in love?" A grin broke out on Gregory's face, dropping his comic, scooting his chair towards her his lollipop dangling from his mouth. "If this is about Anthony and Kate, whatever you're doing: I want in."

Lucy smirked happily. "So, this conference they're going to next month?" Gregory nodded looking startlingly like a golden retriever puppy. "I'm going to book them into the same hotel room." Gregory guffawed. "Excellent, only one problem: You really think Kate's just going to hear they have to share a room and go Oh no, there's nothing we can do! ?" Lucy tutted disapprovingly, "Ahh Gregory, my sweet summer child." She said, taking the lollipop he was offering her, tapping the photo of Cynthia on the screen with it. "It's all about who you know."

Gregory's brow furrowed again, as Lucy picked up the phone, dialling the number there. "What are you-?" He started, but Lucy waved him off. "Hi, may I please speak with Cynthia Jackson please?" She said politely when the phone was answered, waiting on hold. "Whose Cynthia? Also you watched Game of Thrones?" Gregory said his head tilted curiously. "We went to school together. And yes, I'm not a savage." "You think someone you went to school together is just going to help you with a random favour? She might not even remember you." Gregory said, scoffing lightly. Lucy sighed. "Gregory, you have no idea how well liked I am." Gregory opened his mouth to speak again but he was stopped by the buzz on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, this is Cynthia?" The voice on the other end said, Gregory leaning in close, tugging the receiver from Lucy's hand so it rested between them. "Cynthia! It's Lucy Abernathy from Talbot's!" "Oh my god. Lucy it's been ages. How's things?" Lucy shot Gregory a smug smile who looked astonished. "Are you still seeing Mitchell?" Lucy cleared her throat. "Thankfully no." She could feel Gregory looking at her a little intently, curiously. as Cynthia made a sympathetic noise. "I actually work for a law firm in London now. I'm a PA for one of the lawyers here, and she's coming to yours for the Family law conference next month." "Oh yeah?" Cynthia said a little confusedly. "I wondered, if you wanted to play a tiny little game, just like we did at school." Lucy said as lightly as she could manage. She had Cynthia's attention now, she could tell, even over the phone. She'd always been one to cause mischief.

"What kind of game?" Lucy hummed victoriously. "Well maybe not a game, but you see, My boss, Kate, is travelling with the other lawyer from the firm and well, I think they just need a little push." Gregory chuckled beside her. Cynthia cooed. "Oh my god, it's like a romantic comedy, what are we thinking?" Lucy laughed. "Now we are going to make a booking for one room. And under no circumstances can they be allowed to change that booking, or go to another hotel."

Cynthia laughed brightly. "I love this, but you're sure she wants this?" Lucy sighed, her eyes darting back to the door behind her Katharine Sheffield engraved on brass. "Yes, she's definitely in love with him. Now we're going to make this booking under Sheffield-Bridgerton. That's spelled..."

When she got off the phone Lucy couldn't help but feel a little smug as she high fived Gregory, popping her lollipop in her mouth with a satisfied sigh. "Easy, Bridgerton." The door to Kate's office swung open startling Lucy a little, Gregory toppling sideways off his seat, falling against her. "What are you two up to?" Kate said suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. Lucy fixed her face into a look of exasperation. "Gregory has lost Anthony's credit card again, and the bank was giving him a little trouble."

Kate hummed sympathetically, walking towards the kitchen seconds later. Gregory rolled his eyes. "Do I always have to be the incompetent one?"

Lucy tutted, turning back towards her desk. "Do you really think Ktae would believe I was?" Gregory fixed her with an odd look, pushing away from her desk so his chair spun back to his own. "You're right. You, Lucy Loo, are a terrifying genius, and I'm proud to call you my friend."

And for he life of her, Lucy couldn't figure out why his statement made her equal parts thrilled and devastated.

[mafaldaknows]

How is Liz the coordinator of this mess when Effie herself has posted dms in which Liz has slut shamed her and called her awful names? That really doesn’t make sense now does it? I guess it’s easier for you guys to pin the blame on everyone but Armie

Hello, Anon:

Only one person could possibly benefit from this nightmare happening at precisely the time that it did, just as their divorce would be final, and only days before a crucial custody hearing. Up until that moment, HUSBAND was an absolute angel babe.

Timing, motive, and motivation, in tandem with the fact that evidence “proving” many of HOE’s allegations have been found to be fake, plus the obviously shopped-around, straight-from-the-same-press-release-ex-wife says she’s ever-so-shocked-SHOCKED-I-TELL-YOU stories in the gossip rags, that appear whenever HOE’s stories run of out steam, are the primary reasons for me to suspect that Liz might have coordinated this character assassination against Armie. Given what we know right now, logically speaking, Liz is also the only person with a vested interest in keeping this story in the news cycle, at least until their next custody hearing, which is why that tired old story keeps coming back from the grave.

If HOE’s most recent bombshell allegations are true, and it’s been an ongoing event, why choose to reveal them at this specific time, which was most unfavorable for Armie and most advantageous for Liz? And why had Liz not responded instantly, as soon as HOE made inappropriate contact with Armie, years ago, as she had done when a fan sent Armie a nude photo in his DMs? It’s a fact that she’d been heavily involved in every aspect of his entire adult life, at least for the last decade. Why would that time be any different?

As for the name-calling and slut-shaming, that’s very simple to explain:

HOE is a “red herring villain”, merely a distraction to what’s really going on, as she herself said, in one of her IG tirades.

The fact that Armie is now embroiled in this messy divorce and now must also respond to the serious offline consequences of online allegations made in the midst of a critical point in their divorce timeline is yet another complication in this Byzantine nightmare that still leads to only one source, in my mind. TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

If factually credible evidence is found that definitively implicates Armie in any crime, then I will believe it. Until then, I can only go by the actual facts we’ve been given. And so far, much of the evidence against Armie has been proven to be fake or circumstantial.

FWIW: I’m not here defending Armie as a fan, but as a human being who hates injustice, just as we all do, or should. I became interested in the circumstances surrounding Armie Hammer last summer, after seeing the lengths that his PR team will go to in order to sell a very specific image of him to the public. I see that aspect of his current situation as a human rights issue.

While I admire his work and appreciate his talent, I’m not a moony teenager blinded by fangirl devotion. I see Armie Hammer’s case as one that could potentially force Hollywood to reconsider their PR practices to implement meaningful positive change in the lives of all performers who are currently being forced into planned romantic arrangements in order to maintain the most palatable public image for maximum “bankability” at the box office, as well as a means to advocate for new laws regarding the responsible use of social media. Which is why I’m interested in getting to the truth about Armie Hammer. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.

BTW, It’s just as easy for “you guys” to pin the blame on no one else but Armie, if that’s the case, Anon.

The truth is that none of us know with any great certainty exactly what happened or what’s happening. That’s the bottom line.

Thanks for your comment 🙂

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 138: 8x17

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

March 20, 2022

8x17: Goodbye Stranger

Written by: Robbie Thompson

Directed by: Thomas J. Wright

Original air date: March 20, 2013

Plot Synopsis:

Sam and Dean hunt down the angel tablet with assistance from Castiel and Meg.

Features:

The cold open of all cold opens, Cas going to conversion therapy, Beautiful Mind demons, a missing orchard, the Angel Tablet, Megstiel, Sam’s subatomic damage, the bisexual flag in Heaven, the Destiel scene to end all Destiel scenes, Meg’s death.

My Thoughts:

They were absolutely fucking insane for sending Cas to conversion therapy. And then they didn’t confirm any queerness for 7 more years! This episode was supposed to have an “I love you” from Dean instead of an “I need you”! Robbie Thompson does it again.

I absolutely love Meg as a character. I like how long she’s been around flickering in and out of their lives since 1x11 Scarecrow (although we never did learn her true name, since Meg Masters was actually the name of her first human host). I know that Rachel Miner asked to be written off because of her declining health, but I can’t help but imagine a world where she joined Team Free Will. I think the dynamic of later seasons would be shaken up in a really interesting way if there was someone whose first priority was Cas rather than Sam or Dean. I think she would have stood up for him a lot, and that in turn would have forced Dean to be more honest and kinder to him or risk losing him to someone he would inevitably see as competition for Cas’ affections, though I doubt he would be able to admit that to himself. I love how honestly they care about each other, whether it would have ended up being romantic or platonic or what. @meg3point0 also brought up that having Meg spend more time with them and proving that demons can feel love would have stirred up a lot of memories of Ruby for Sam, and that would have been really delicious as well.

Naomi as a villain is really effective at this point because we’ve seen her pretty rarely - when Cas first comes back form Purgatory, and when we see the first lobotomy, and then this episode - but she’s shown to have controlled so much of what’s happened in season 8. She has control of the narrative while remaining relatively hidden. The flipping back and forth between Earth and Heaven was a genius way to show what’s happening in Cas’ head, giving us way more information than the brothers, and really well directed so it’s never confusing. A great Stack moment came from this, with Cas asking Naomi for orders reminding me of him asking Anna to tell him what to do in yesterday’s episode. It’s also so delicious that yesterday we saw his first flirtation with the idea of rebelling, and today we see him defy Heaven entirely, and both of these were out of love for Dean Winchester.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we ever find out what the history between Crowley and Naomi is. I feel like somewhere along the showrunner’s switching off, something they were setting up got forgotten. Referring to Mesopotamia implies that he’s much older than 1661, which is when Fergus MacLeod was supposedly born. I remember when this episode first aired, there was a lot of speculation in my corner of the internet that he was actually an old god, or maybe even the snake from the Garden of Eden. I wish they had made something of that - he got so pathetic in later seasons that it’s easy to forget what a powerful antagonist he was earlier on.

Notable Lines:

“No hesitation. Quick. Brutal. Everything's back in order.”

“I don't know, Dean. If he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?”

“Why are you so sweet on me, Clarence?” “I don't know. And I still don't know who Clarence is.”

“I'm kind of good, which sucks. And you're kind of bad -- which is actually all manner of hot.”

“There's blood everywhere, and it's on your hands. After everything you did -- to us, to heaven. I fixed you, Castiel.”

“I know you can hear me. Cas… It's me. We're family. We need you. I need you.”

“What broke the connection?” “I don’t know.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.8

IMdB Rating: 8.6

In Conclusion: We’re getting to the point in Stacked where everything is building to finales, so hopefully we get more bangers to come!

<< Previous Day  |  Next Day >>

[lottiebagley]

Stuck in the middle- Oliver Wood

You know what she said to me? She said, "You're a player, aren't you? And I bet you got hoes" I said, "You don't know me like that I just go with the flow, oh, oh"

Oliver Wood was a confident boy. He knew he was good looking, he knew he was talented, he knew he was smart, he knew he was charming, most importantly he knew almost all the girls in school wanted him. All of this combined gave him his natural flirty manner. He was the kind of boy to send girls winks across classrooms, to tease them with a flirty smirk the first time he meets them, to never see the same girl more than a handful of times.

She seemed to be the one girl he couldn't get. She was beautiful and smart and kind and funny. She was the girl every boy fancied. She was the one girl he wanted to take home over summer break, to fall in love with, to be with.

They'd been friendly since first year, having always had mutual friends. She'd always been pretty and as an anxious 11 year old he had never had the nerve to talk to her so they'd smiled in the corridor. He made the quidditch team and with that his confidence grew, he finally had the nerve to start talking to girls in a romantic way by 3rd years but she was always just a little out of his league.

In 4th year it began. A tension over them constantly that drove their friends insane. They would flirt constantly, they would steal glances when the other wasn't looking but they never actually made a move. She always thought it was a joke, she didn't let herself think for even a second he could be serious. She didn't want to end up just another one of Oliver Wood's dates crying too their friends in the bathroom because he didn't ask them on a second date. He thought there was no chance on god's green earth she liked him back, he flirted with her constantly and yet she never took him seriously, he couldn't drop anymore hints.

"There's the most beautiful girl in the whole school," Oliver calls, watching as she enters the corridor he was standing in, his attention drawn from the twins who he had been chatting with.

"Hi boys," She grin to the three friends, "How was your summer?" She directs the question to the twins. Having already made flirty chit chat with Oliver the evening before.

"Quite alright, flew that car Ron and Harry arrived in to surrey and back," George grins excitedly

"Shit! how was it?" She asks, chatter between the three take overs and Oliver watches with a smirk and a lovestruck look in his eyes. Taking in her tight school shirt and short skirt, the way her Gryffindor tie hangs loose around her neck and her knee heigh socks make his mouth water a little. He watches the way her eyes light up with excitement, the way she tilts her head back when she laughs, the way she tucks her hair behind her ear.

"I should get going, don't wanna be late to the first class of the year," She smiles

"Of course, see you at practice later," Fred grins

"I'll walk you to class," Oliver offers, pushing himself off the wall he had been leaning on. She turns to him with a small smile and almost looks like she's going to accept his offer before the smile switches to a smirk

"Shouldn't you be walking Kirsty to class? or Mille? Or Hannah? Or Ellie? Or"

"Okay, I get the point," Oliver groans

"You have plenty of girls Oli, you don't need me,"

"But your my favourite," He smirks, she smiles, an overly sweet smile

"That's a shame for you," She grins, shooting him a wink before turning and striding down the corridor.

"Hard luck mate," George chuckles, clapping his hand around a disgruntled looking Oliver's shoulder.

She said, "You can't fool me like that You're gonna leave me on read" I said, "Why don't you try me on out I know you wanna be friends"

"We're friends right?" Oliver's voice questions as he plops himself down on the loveseat she's sat in. She looks up from the book she had been reading to look at him

"What are you trying to trick me into saying?" She questions

"No tricks," He assures, raising his hands in surrender

"I would label us friendly acquaintances," She shrugs, he nods pausing for a second to think "Careful there Oliver, I can see the cogs turning in your head,"

"I think we should be friends," He announces

"And why is that?" She questions

"Well, we have been in the same friend group since we were 11-"

"It's a big friend group,"

"But it's the same one. We play quidditch on the same team and I like being around you so I think we should be friends,"

"I know you Oliver Wood. I see the way you  behave. You flirt with girls, make them feel super comfortable around you, you ask them out on a date and then you never talk to them again. So no, I don't want to be your friend just so you can start ignoring me and feel like you won," She retaliates

"Okay. I know my reputation with girls kind of makes me seem like a prick,"

"More than kind of,"

"I really do want to be friends with you though. I think we could get on great,"

"Okay fine. Friends," She agrees, he smiles brightly, a grin that makes her heart warm a little.

"Friends," He confirms

But friends turn into sleepovers And sleepovers turn into love Love turns into jealousy And now we both fucked up

In the two months that follow the two become close. They have a lot in common and it's easy to spend time together. He makes her laugh and she can't help the butterflies in her stomach when he smiles at her.

"Percy Weasley wants to kill you," She announces, bursting into his captains office, he looks up from the papers on his desk with a smile that makes her melt

"Cute PJs," He teases, she rolls her eyes, entering the room fully and closing the door behind her.

"You're lucky to get to see me in such a great outfit," She taunts, he lets his eyes fall up and down her body. Taking in her fluffy pj bottoms and large sweater, the outfit complete with a pair of koala slippers. He would swear on his own life that she looked beautiful.

"That I am," He grins, watching as she gets comfy on the sofa in the corner of the office "Why does dear old Percy want to kill me?" He asks, standing from his chair and crossing the room to sit next to her. He tries to push away the thought that anyone else interrupting him when he was trying to plan practices would infuriate him, that anybody else barging into his office without knocking would make his blood boil. Tries not to think about how every minute he spends with her makes him want her more.

"So I went into your dorm, which in itself is some weird trigger for him, obviously you weren't there but he thought you were in my dorm and so he had a fit about you being out past curfew and so I ran away cause his screeching gives me a headache,"

"Any reason you were visiting my dorm?" Oliver smirks, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing when she shoves his shoulder lightly.

"Just wanted a chat. Couldn't sleep," She answers honestly. She isn't quite sure why even a few hours without seeing him makes her miss him so much. He pauses for a second, not sure how to respond and she starts talking again, uncomfortable with the silence after admitting to that "You shouldn't stay out here so late, you need to sleep more," She instructs. He smiles at her, rolling his eyes before glancing sighing, deciding to ignore her statement.

"I'm glad it was me you wanted to see. That you couldn't sleep and I'm the one you wanted," He speaks quietly like  the words are just for her even though no one else is there. It makes her heart skip a beat and she scolds herself for being so weak around him.

"Can I tell you a secret Oli?"

"Anything angel," He grins, subconsciously they're moving closer and closer to each other, a weird need to feel the other person's body pressed to there's.

She thinks for a second that she's going to regret what she's about to say. But one look at his hair that's messy from him running his hand through it, at his tired and lazy smile, at his eyes that shine despite the dim lighting erases all the doubt in her mind.

"I always want to see you. Recently, it's like two minutes away from you is too much," She admits. Glancing at the ground to avoid seeing his reaction.

He feels his heart skip a beat, reaching his hand out to cup her jaw, moving her head gently to force her to look at him. He thinks that in that moment if he doesn't kiss her he will regret it forever and so he leans in slowly, she flutters her eyes close and he is so close he can feel her breath fan across his face

"Baby! There you are,"

They both jump apart at the sound of a new voice and the door bursting open. Oliver wants to tell Kirsty Stevenson to fuck off. She shouldn't barge into his office. More importantly she's just ruined everything. He was going to kiss her and he was almost certain she wouldn't have pushed him away.

"What do you want?" He snaps, not bothering to look at her. Instead looking at the girl in front of him and watching how she seemed to sink into herself, seemed to recoil away from him, sees the hurt flash in her eyes.

"You were supposed to be meeting me outside my common room," Kirsty chimes.

She looks like she'd put in an effort. Her hair curled and makeup done, a short skirt and a low cut top for the midnight date.

"I'll go," The girl mumbles, standing up and leaving the room before Oliver can stop her.

He's quick to rush out after her, leaving a confused Kirsty in his wake.

"Angel! Wait! Please can we talk? I don't want to argue with you!" He's calling after her as he jogs to catch up to her fast walk. Gently grabbing her hand in his.

She stops and turns to look at him but tugs her hand out of his. Oliver sighs, they were relatively touchy despite being only friends and normally she would happily let Oliver hold her hand.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for that to happen," He speaks genuinely

"It's fine Oliver," He cringes a little, she hadn't called him Oliver in weeks.  "Honestly, maybe it's a good thing. I mean we are just friends and we shouldn't have been about to kiss. I said that we were just friends for this very reason and I shouldn't have considered that changing. Don't be sorry you are totally in your right to be having dates and girls and all of that. It's fine. I'm fine. We are fine," She rants, he watches as she scrunches her face as she talks like she's trying to stop herself from crying. "Get back to Kirsty. I'll see you around," She adds.

She turns to walk away and he wants more than anything to follow but knows it's the last thing she wants.

'Cause we're stuck in the middle of lovers and friends (Lovers and friends) And we're losing every part of the benefits (Losing benefits) You hurt me more than I ever knew (Than I ever knew)

But it's shitty 'cause I'm doing the same to you

Oliver feels his blood boil. He's sat at a table in the three broomsticks with two of his close friends, Max and Harvey his eyes fixed on the girl a few tables away.

"So, you finally going to tell us why there's no date today?" Harvey questions Oliver. They were part of a large friend group, she was in it too, and they were used to Oli spending Hogsmeade trips with whatever girl he felt like.

"Just wasn't feeling it," He shrugs

"So it has nothing to do with Adrian Pucey and his date?" Max teases, eyes moving to see the girl sat under Adrian's arm, both laughing happily.

"Course not," Oliver grunts, the other two boys laughing at him.

Oliver thought what would hurt the most had already happened. Walking up to the girl as she was giggling with some of the other girls in her friend group three days, they had remained friends after the night in his office still talking everyday, he had asked what the girls were so giddy over and his heart had stopped when she announced she had a date with Adrian Pucey.

"But seriously? Pucey of all people?" He questions his friends with a dirty look in the Slytherin boys direction.

"What's wrong with Pucey? Apparently he's a gentleman and all the girls think he's fit," Max shrugs, knowing Oliver's problem with Pucey was that he was not him.

"He's an arse," Oliver argues.

If he thought hearing the boy had asked her out hurt, watching as she laughed at what he was saying and leaned into his touch felt a thousand times worse.

"Maybe you should have worked up the nerve and asked her out rather than occupying yourself with girls you don't even like that much," Harvey points out. Other than Oliver, Harvey was the guy she was closest with. Thinking of his as a brother and he always looked out for her.

"Fucking obviously I should have," Oliver groans.  He looks back to the table and the sight makes him want to die on the spot.

It hurts worse than being knocked off his broom by a bludger. Worse than hearing her all excited about a date with someone else. Worse than watching her blink back tears he caused.

She's sat three tables away, making out with Adrian Pucey.

She said, "Are we exclusive or not?" I said, "What do you wanna do? Seems like you love me a lot" She said, "Can we stop the joking And take me seriously" I said, "I'll try my very best But we'll have to wait and see"

"We need to talk," She demands, barging into the boy dorm. Oliver looks at her in surprise. His hair damp from the shower he just took and a towel hanging low on his hips. He smirks at the way she suddenly becomes distracted by his toned chest before letting out a deep breath and forcing herself to look at him in the eyes again.

He goes to reply but his cut off by Percy "You shouldn't be in here! This is the boys dormitory," The Weasley boy lectures, eyes a sharp glare in her direction

"I need to talk to Oli," She shrugs

"This is kind of a private conversation Percy. Could you leave?"  Oliver adds, the boy scoffing

"No. It's my dorm. You're not having sex in it. Again." Percy groans

"We aren't going to have sex Percy," The girl snaps

"We could if you want," Oliver smirks

"This is a serious conversation," She snaps at him before turning back to the Percy "Please leave?"

"No. I am a prefect. I'll chaperone you to make sure nothing funny happens," He announces, sitting down on his bed.

"Fine. Oliver, what the fuck are we doing?" She questions, turning back to the boy

"I don't know what you mean,"

"Don't play dumb with me. I know you threatened Adrian to stop talking to me because Marcus Flint told me. I don't even care that much because clearly it's not him I want," She rambles a little and Oliver feels his heart glowing at the insinuation it's him that she wants. "But you can't ruin all my options and then be seeing a million girls yourself,"

"I know," He admits

"So?" She questions. He sighs, he knows that she's who he wants. That no one else could ever come close to her and yet he can't bring himself to say any of this. Oliver Wood was not the boyfriend type.

"I don't know,"

"That's fine. Just think about it and let me know," She seems dejected and he feels guilty. She'd barged in expecting this to go very differently. He nods, wishing he could find his voice and tell her he didn't need to think. He knew he wanted her. And yet he couldn't bring himself to do it.

She slips out of the room silently and Oliver groans, throwing his head back in frustration.

"You're stupid," Percy comments

"Yeah. I know,"

'Cause talks turn into sleepless nights And sleepless nights turn into love Love turns into impatience And now we both fucked up

He finds himself unable to sleep for what feels like the millionth night in a row but is actually only a week. Pulling his duvet off his body and heading into the common room. He's surprised to see a figure sat on the sofa, his confusion growing when he realises it's her.

"It's late," He comments. It had been a week since she asked him to work out what he wanted and they had spoken a little but no where near as much as normal and only in a group setting. It was like before and they both hated it.

"Can't sleep," She shrugs, staring into the dying fire.

"How long?" He questions, he knew she had problems falling to sleep sometimes and that they were usually a phase

"Couple of days. It's annoying. We have a match tomorrow and I just know I'll be exhausted,"

"You'll still play great. You always do," He compliments, still lingering a few feet away.

"You can sit if you want," She offers, seemingly loosing all her confidence when she quickly follows it with "You don't have too, obviously. Like if you're going out or something,"

"I'd like to," He assures, sitting down next to her on the sofa. A comfortable silence settles over them for a few minutes.

"Why're you up so late?" She questions

"I'm thinking. Can't turn my brain off,"

"Well, it isn't used to the whole thinking thing," She teases, he rolls his eyes, shoving her side lightly. His laugh dying in the air when his whole body seems to wake up at the feeling of her.

"I'm not a boyfriend kind of guy,"

"I know," She nods, letting out a sigh "I wish I could be some one who could do a casual thing cause I want you and I just-" she cuts herself off with a sigh. He nods, understanding exactly what she meant.

"I want so badly to say I'll make it work but I don't want to hurt you," He explains. She nods slowly.

"One kiss? Just to see what it could have been?" She questions, he smiles gently.

His lips feel warm against her and they fit together perfectly. His kiss feels like coming home and having her right there with him, having her lips on his makes Oliver feel whole. He knows he's being stupid, to not let himself have her but the last thing he wants is to hurt her and he doesn't trust himself to not hurt her.

He pulls her closer, without breaking their lips apart for even a second, until she's straddling his hips. His hands holding  her as close to him as humanly possible as her hand in his hair.

She pulls away breathless and Oliver doesn't ever want it to end.

"One day, I really hope I get to do that again," He admits

Got me stuck in the middle of lovers and friends And we're losing every part of the benefits You hurt me more than I ever knew But it's shitty 'cause I'm doing the same to you

She's hungover. Her head pounding and a sense of nausea settled in her stomach. They won the quidditch match and with victory comes a party and with a party comes a nasty hangover.

She rolled out of bed mid afternoon and trudged to an old classroom that is never used anymore that her friend group often hang out in. Grabbing a book to read while she's there.

Old desks had been charmed into sofa's and the group was so large they could rarely all find seats together in the common room and had students from other houses in, having a little room to themselves was just easier.

"There she is," Harvey grins, moving to make space next to him on a sofa, she gladly takes the seat, and shoots him a smile.

She joins in the discussion of the night before, allowing her best friend to force her to drink plenty of water. She certainly wasn't the worst hangover present but it would still do her a load of good.

Oliver enters the room a while later, a look she can't place on his face. His eyes scan the room before they land on her and he sighs, shooting her a sorry looking smile before settling in a seat on the other side of the room. She wonders for a second why he's chosen to sit so far away, lately they always seemed to sit together.

Her question is answered within seconds "So, how was your evening Wood?" Max teases from his arm chair

"Good," Oliver nods, trying not to draw any attention to himself, wishing the conversation would move on

"Oh come on. Where's the details? You hooked up with Riley Adams, she's fit," Max starts rambling about the Ravenclaw girl from the year above but to the girl the world seems silent.

She feels her heart break a little. She has no right to be angry. He told her he couldn't be in a relationship and she respected that.

But she wanted him. In every sense of the word. Having to hear he was sleeping around made her want to cry and his guilty eyes avoiding looking at her didn't make it better. Neither did her friends sympathetic smiles or Harvey telling Max to shut up.

The conversation is moved along quickly to something unrelated and she's standing up. Wanting to be as far away from Oliver Wood as possible, her best friend quick to follow her.

Stuck in the middle Stuck in the middle with you Stuck in the middle Stuck in the middle with you

Oliver finds himself missing her instantly.

Two weeks without speaking to her makes him feel like he's going insane.

He sees her in class. At practice. Hanging out in the same group.

So close he could make everything normal. Could talk to her. Could have her back in his life.

Every time he tries to, every time he approaches her between classes, tries to talk to her, tries to tell her that he knows he is stupid and that he wants her and nothing will ever change that and he wants to think with his heart and not his penis. That he knows he can trust himself to be a loyal and good boyfriend because fucking hell she was already his priority in life. She made his world turn and without her nothing made any sense. She walks away.

She avoids him like the plague.

Never allowing him close enough to talk to her.

He watched from afar as she seems heart broken. He watches as she seems like she hasn't slept in weeks. As she blinks back tears when a girl talks to him, not knowing he sends them all away as fast as he possibly can.

He misses her and he knows she misses him but she won't let him close enough to do anything about it.

Because fights turn into making up And making up turns into love Love turns into forever And that scares both of us

When he finally gets her alone he is absolutely adamant he is not going to let her slip through his fingers again.

"I was wrong" He states, standing in the doorway to the quidditch changing rooms with a look of determination in his eyes.

She turns around, only clad in sports shorts and a Gryffindor jumper and god he thinks she's an angel in front of him.

"I was wrong for a really long time. I was wrong to sleep with Riley when all I wanted was you. I was wrong to compare them all to you like they ever came close. I was wrong to think I'd be a shit boyfriend to you. Because I wouldn't. I would be a fucking incredible boyfriend because I would be doing it for you. I'd be the kind of guy who walks you to every class, who brings you flowers, who makes sure you're drinking enough water. I'd be the kind of guy who doesn't even think for a second about anyone else because you're it. You are all that matters to me. I'm scared to commit myself to someone because I never did but I never did because I've wanted you for so long and before now you were never an option. But you are now, at least I hope you are. And I would choose you a million times because it's everything to me. I know that I've hurt you and you've hurt me and it's been a lot but I want you and I pray that you want me back,"

"No sleeping with anyone else? No weird in between?"

"No, not for a second more,"

She walks towards him, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down to her and lips on his in an instant.

None of it mattered anymore. Because he wanted her and that's all she ever needed.

'Cause we're stuck in the middle of lovers and friends And we're losing every part of the benefits You hurt me more than I ever knew But it's shitty 'cause I'm doing the same to you

**

Masterlist

[bbnibini]

Your Words (Simeon)

"Simeon comforting MC after a hard day with a story and a song. (The story could be about anything really)"

Requester: Cchinita (AO3) ao3 vers.

So, I got really invested in this HC Request and inadvertently made an AU(?) for this. I already mentioned this in the AO3 version of this post but, I really appreciate the OP for requesting this to be a platonic relationship. I LOVE writing about friendships. As someone who places equal value on both romantic and platonic relationships, this request really warmed my heart.♡ In fact, I love this so much, I might post a continuation for it in the distant future-

(HC/scenario under cut)

It was the same, usual day. Same, usual spiels. Same, usual annoyances. Same, usual, miniscule discomforts. Yet, the same, “usual” made you feel…unusual. The snide remarks you tolerate from your co-workers sounded particularly biting. The broken coffee machine seemed to act up even more than before, even if the hands of the clock overhead indicated you still had plenty of time for your break. It was the same weekend to look forward to, same katsu sandos at the company cafeteria that were a little soggier to your liking. You have gotten used to the polite, yet tiresome indirectness of adult confrontation—on tiptoeing on your every word like a tightrope, with the entire world watching your struggles to acclimate with “the real world’s mundane”, as if were some cheap variety show entertainment. Yet...

Something about today seemed different. It was tiring. Exhausting even. You were one more passive-aggressive remark away from throwing an outburst—even your practised smiles were strained and everyone around you started to notice. Two-faced inquiries of your well-being masked more malicious intentions (whether it’s fabricated from your own overthinking, or it being even the slightest truth did not matter), questions of the breaks and accruals you have never really utilised because of your obsession to catch up with some proverbial Goliath who had dollar signs in his eyes, or your fixation on “making a difference”; on “investements” rang in your head and would not stop until the first drop of tears formed in your eyes.

“Take it easy today.” Were such comforting words if it did not fall from your disappointed supervisor’s eyes, who was as obsessed with numbers and team performance as yourself—in their eyes, you felt less of a human being and more of a defective asset. When had it been like this? When did life start to feel…dull? In your quest to find meaning in your life, you have reached a dead end. Would anyone even care if you tell them? Why would such thoughts ever have meaning if you have “your life set out for you?”

Such crippling feelings always felt less burdensome with a few sips of liquid courage. One shots. Two shots. Cheers! There was no need to pretend you were drinking it if you were in your lonesome. Alcohol definitely tasted better when it wasn’t being offered, nor pressured on you. Your head buzzed, and your cheeks heated with its familiar warmth. The strained voice of the usual balladeer in your favourite bar even sounded melodic in your ears after downing a bottle’s worth of your favourite cocktail. In fact, she sounded really, really good: angelic even, if not a lot more…baritone than you were used to. Her blue eyes lingered on your direction until you heard your name being spoken by him…him? What happened to the shy songstress at the centre stage? And who was this handsome stranger calling for you to join him by the grand piano?

“Do you have any requests for this evening, dear customer?”

He wasn’t the usual singer in the bar at all! You felt the laughable boldness that your alcohol had given you fizzle up and vanish in an instant.

So many eyes were on you that it was hard to pretend indifference. The handsome stranger beside you noticed this and leaned on your ear, whispering the same words your supervisor had told you earlier.

“Take it easy today.”

…but his felt like he actually meant it. He sang your request so beautifully that you momentarily forgot your worries. He even went so far as to walk you home when the bartender worriedly fussed over getting you a taxi.

Before you knew it, you spilled all of your complaints and grievances to the handsome stranger, his blue eyes only narrowing as if he were smiling at you.

“Thank you for working hard today.”

How could he know how hard you worked? You called him arrogant, and he only laughed and admitted you were right.

“For now, let’s walk you home.”

Your next day at work was the same, usual dullness. Monotony. Indifference. The only highlights of your day were the times when Simeon had shifts in the bar you frequent. Oftentimes, he sings a tune for you while he was at work, and in the after hours, he scoots you over next to him on his favourite spot in the empty park, a cup of the nice old lady’s hangover soup at a strategically placed food stall across from the bar at hand.

You found out that he was a graduate student working on his Master’s on literature. His face was beautiful, yet unfamiliar. His pseudonym, Christopher Peugeot however…

“NO WAY!”

“Haha! I’m afraid it’s the truth.”

Why was a famous author working minimum wage at a rundown bar? Came the question in your face, which he had answered with unnerving calm.

“Because it’s fun!”

Fun? You haven’t heard that spoken for a while. Simeon looked over at you worriedly, commenting on your soup getting cold, your reply he had awaited a few minutes too late for any conversation to continue. You promptly apologised once you snapped out of it.

“I…forgot.”

“Forgot?”

You smiled at him, bashful. “How to have fun. It feels like I’m…just here. I…I’m exhausted, Simeon. I don’t know what to do.”

The next thing you knew, you were wrapped in his arms, his gentle hand stroking your head, reminding you of a gentle hand from your distant past doing the same.

When he had wiped your tears and called for your name, it felt like you were seen for the first time in a while. Maybe it was fine to feel this way. Maybe…just maybe…you had a “right” to feel exhausted. Maybe…

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

And he was. He always was. For the years to come-- even when the test of time had placed hardships in your bonds, he had always been.

(To be continued?)

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Everything We Had Part 2

4 -  “I don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway.” 8 - “You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?” 11 - “I wish you’d just leave me alone, I wish I’d never met you.”

So, I was not going to do a part two for this. But then Anon hit me with a really good idea and I loved it. So here I am hoping I bring their idea to “life” in the right way. Enjoy.

Warnings: Mentions of Cheating, Mild Violence, Language

Word Count: 1,773

****** 

After everything that happened with your ex-fiancé you wandered around feeling completely broken. 

There had never been a thought in your mind as to what would happen if you and Natasha ended so when that happened you weren’t sure what to do.

You left the apartment and hadn’t returned since. From there you decided to stay at the compound, forgetting that Bucky lived there as well. The man had avoided your gaze for seemingly the entire day before trying to talk to you. In the end you flipped him off and left. 

If everyone was being honest, they weren’t sure how you were controlling yourself. The woman you loved and a good friend hurt you and you’d managed to not do anything in retaliation. 

They deemed you strong. Having long since figured out you were the bigger person.

None of that meant this was easy for you. Not by a long shot.

You’d cried yourself to sleep plenty of nights, laying awake and restless every other. Every emotion you felt surged inside of you and you did everything you could not to act on them.

Crying became too much, anxiously not sleeping was unhealthy, being angry would only have resulted in you doing something you’d regret. And for the most part, you thought you were keeping yourself in check.

Until that day.

At the time, the roof of the compound was your only escape from everything. And so there you stood, basking in the day. 

But like all good things it came to an end. 

The sun’s light and warmth were cut off from you and you opened your eyes to find one of the two people you truly never wanted to speak to again.

Bucky didn’t fake a smile this time, he just sighed and spoke,“ Y/n, I’m really sorry about everything that happened. I know-”

Deciding you didn’t want to do that, you turned to leave.

Stopped seconds after by the cold vibranium of Bucky’s hand.“ Y/n just hear me out. Natasha and I-”

Eyes wide you looked back at him,“ you and Natasha? What you two just couldn’t wait to get together once I was out of the picture huh?” Scoffing you pulled your arm from his grip.

“It’s not like that!” He exclaimed, fed up with you not listening.“ Natasha loves you and I care about you!”

“Bucky I don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway. So whatever explanations or bullshit excuses you want to spill right now I don’t want to hear it.” 

That time when you turned to leave he didn’t reach for you. 

Just as you thought you were in the clear, walking toward the common room, the literal last person you wanted to see stopped in front of you.

Her green eyes didn’t hold the same shine they used to, strands of her hair hung from the ponytail she was wearing, and one of your old sweaters covered her body. She looked bad, and no doubt felt bad, but you were sure you’d been hurting worse.

“Please don’t, I really can’t right now Natalia.” 

“You aren’t returning any of my calls or texts and I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

A glare fixed on your face you said,“ I said goodbye Natalia what did you think that meant? Had I wanted to see you again I would’ve said so.” 

When you saw the heartbreak in her eyes you almost wanted to take it back but you didn’t. She broke your heart much worse than you had her.

The woman’s shoulders dropped and tears poured down her cheeks,“ I never thought you’d be this harsh to me.” 

“Me? Harsh? Need I remind you, you cheated on me with my friend Natalia! You promised to be loyal and planned to spend the rest of your life with me. I’m harsh? Natalia you broke me! You ruined everything we had and-” you blinked past the tears pooling in your eyes,“ for what?”

“Y/n calm down.” 

Perfect timing. 

As your chest heaved with each breath, Natalia in front of you, Bucky’s voice joined. Having obviously just come from the same path you had. 

“Bucky cut the shit! You both have been walking around pouting and crying as if you’re hurt! As if this isn’t all your fault!” At that point you wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone in the compound had heard you. Nor did you care.“ I’m so done with both of you. I just wish you’d just leave me alone, I wish I’d never met either of you!” 

You were more than riled up. You could feel your own heart pounding and you thought they could hear it as well. 

Natasha took a step toward you, her hand grabbing yours. You pulled away in anger, snapping at her to not touch you. And Bucky made the mistake of grabbing your arm from behind.

Whatever he said about relaxing is lost on you. In your over emotional state you hauled off and punched the man in the nose. 

He stumbled back, more so out of shock than you actually having hurt him. 

Both he and Natasha looked at you incredulously, and it was then that you noticed the rest of the team standing in the back. All eyes were on the scene you’d caused.

Embarrassed, hurt, and angry, you left. Walking to your room and somehow not having tripped through your tears. 

You weren’t sure where you were going but it wasn’t an option to stay there.

As you packed your bags you heard the door behind you open and close. You’d stilled, thinking it was Natasha or Bucky.

“I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling,” the younger woman’s voice met your ears,“ but I’m here for you if you need me.”

Perhaps it had been her tone of voice, she was so genuine in her words, so sympathetic, or it was just the fact that she had come in, whatever it was, it made the tears finally spill from you eyes.

You’d cried before but not like this. This had been your breaking point and Wanda was there to hold you through it.

That was a year ago. 

Since then you’ve left the team. As much as you love saving lives you couldn’t do it with those people anymore. 

Instead you chose to become a cop. It wasn’t ideal but it was the only thing you could thing of to fulfill your need to help.

You of course found another place. Tony was more than happy to offer you support when he found out. The billionaire put you up in a more than satisfactory condo in Manhattan.

Sam and Steve still come by every weekend or so just to check in with you. You are still their friend and they couldn’t stand losing you over Bucky and Natasha’s mistake. 

But more helpful than all of them, was and is Wanda. 

The Sokovian was there for you every moment from the day you broke down to now. She held you as you cried, got you out of the house when you didn’t even feel like moving, and went to the gym with you when you had to blow off steam. 

Months had gone by of her being your biggest supporter and best friend, so many that the way you felt about her had changed. 

You stopped seeing her as Natasha’s best friend or your old teammate. In your eyes she’d gone from being your friend to seemingly an angel. And you found yourself falling for her.

There were a million reasons why you didn’t say anything at first. Not only was she still Natasha’s friend, but you weren’t sure how she felt about you. Until one night, while out walking in the park, she’d slipped up. She said she loved you as if it wasn’t the first time, like she had thought it so much it wasn’t even new to her. Feeling the same way, you kissed the woman.

From that point on you two grew closer and closer, romantically.

Now you stand just barely inside the compound, the facility you hadn’t stepped foot in in a year, a bouquet of white lilies in hand. You’re waiting on Wanda, who just got back from a two week long mission with Steve.

As you stand there awkwardly you catch a glimpse of familiar red hair, the tips blonde. 

Looking up, your eyes meet those emerald orbs and you take a deep breath. She’s watching you, taking you in like she had the first time she saw you.

“Y/n I- what- you’re here.” 

Someone would think she’s seeing a ghost the way she speaks. Then again you hadn’t seen each other in all this time.

“Hey Natasha.”

You hadn’t called her Natalia and that was a step up in her books.

Hesitantly, she walks closer,“ what’re you doing here? How are you?” 

Preparing to answer you breathe in, but your reply doesn’t come.

“Milaya!” 

You immediately look toward the girl at the sound of her voice. A smile splits across your lips and you accept the hug she wraps you in, her lips pressing on to the corner of yours.

“Hi.” You whisper.“ These are for you. I missed you.” You tell her, holding out the flowers.

She takes them, eyes flickering beside you,“ I missed you too.”

It’s not that you’d forgotten Natasha was there, her presence just simply paled to that of Wanda’s. And she knows that.

Watching the two of you, both smiling as if the world had been placed in your hands, she realizes how she’d truly lost you. There was no getting you back at this point, and maybe it’d been like this for a while, she just hadn’t known until now.

Your girlfriend smiles at the red head,“ hi Natasha.” 

And the red head smiles back,“ hey Wan.” She swallows, using all her strength to hold back tears,“ I won’t keep you, just wanted to say hi.”

With that she turns around and takes purposeful steps away.

“Hey,” she pauses at the sound of your voice, turning back to look at you,“ it was good seeing you Natasha.” 

Her eyes never leave you, watching as your arm curls around Wanda’s waist and your lips press on to her temple, not until you’re gone from her line of sight.

No matter how much it hurt to see, she knows it’s for the best. What she had done was irreparable, by her at least. She broke your heart and Wanda fixed it. It was better this way, even if it meant losing everything she’d had.

******

[dreamersscape]

In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.

Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)

I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?

Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.

What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.

Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D

Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)

with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath

→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.

Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato

your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old

Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito

how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most

→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!

Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi

'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.

Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke

so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger

→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)

Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi

I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up

→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)

Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito

the years burn, burn, burn

→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)

Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto

let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall

→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)

memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning

This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)

and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home

→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!

Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito

you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead

→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!

Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke

all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around

→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭

Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)

Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato

danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed

→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.

Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth

→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!

Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito

life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me

I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi

and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe

→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato

how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride

→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.

30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.

A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi

then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home

Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.

The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think

any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside

Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7

still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know

→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.

Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)

Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi

take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help

→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.

Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!

7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!

Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito

I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow

→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.

The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.

Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?

Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!

Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(

Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin

wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi

snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins

→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)

PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys

Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships

the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown

→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?

All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi

when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong

→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?

Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?

lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke

are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy

→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)

Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito

so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)

General/Miscellaneous:

Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble

don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it

→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!

Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.

Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito

there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go

Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)

hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher

Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.

We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!

Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans

who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?

So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?

The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.

Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.

TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄

Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?

Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D

Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!

Special Bonus:

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!

[princessfbi]

I want to see your break down of Ana

Someone is trying to get me in trouble. But a character analysis must be applied to all so here we go.

The Victim of Lazy Writing: Ana Flores

How I feel about this character

Ana had so much potential! I was actually fairly charmed when she reappeared this season and then was struck by how off it felt seeing her and Eddie after Jinxed. But now... it's just uncomfortable AND I think it's also important to point out that I think it's uncomfortable for a reason. I think, like Gwyn on Lone Star, this is a relationship that isn't supposed to work out.

Gwyn and Ana weren't bad guys. They just weren't meant to be endgame.

Ana isn't a cartoon character. The relationship with Eddie, at a distance, is a very authentic relationship in the sense that sometimes you get caught up in the feelings of being in a relationship and not the feelings that are brought on in a relationship if that makes sense.

But Ana also falls victim to what I was talking about in my Shannon Diaz analysis: she is too far on the spectrum of The Angel. She's a victim of lazy writing where a female character is made more into a story point than given her own agency. Which happens constantly and makes me so annoyed because you had the potential right there. And it drives me crazy that this happens so frequently because it's just lazy and is partially why I hate watching buddy buddy cop shows (Castle, Psych, White Collar, Bones, Graceland, Suits etc etc etc) where the charming male lead is teamed up with the cranky savvy bad ass female lead because we know what's going to happen and in those case, I find myself fighting the writing because in most instances, the female character always suffers.

There are no stakes with Ana's character. She's the perfect dotting girlfriend who was there by Eddie's side in the hospital. She's charming and understanding of all his hang ups. She's good with kids, has a good sense of a humor, but most significantly she's easy to be with.

But easy is not safe. We haven't seen Eddie break down and be vulnerable with her. We've seen it with Bobby, with Buck, with Chris, and even with Carla. This is why I don't think Ana will be endgame.

But that's not the tragedy of Ana Flores. The tragedy is that we didn't get to see the stakes, the suspense, the possibility that she could've been endgame. Because she was made into an object.

Again this is something that happens with male characters too. Where as women are often The Angel or the Shrew, men are either The Brainless or the Jerk. And when you fall onto those ends of the spectrum too far you get the kiss of death with a character: You make them into an object, a story point, and they become static.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

What I really like is that Ana from the beginning was set up as this fiercely intelligent woman who doesn't need a man to further her pursuit of happiness. So give that woman, and all educators please, a raise!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

If given her own agency back, I feel like she and Karen would be evil geniuses together!

My unpopular opinion about this character

If you have to write her name as a slur, you lose credibility in your analysis.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish, as I think we all do, for a break up but I would like a break up that doesn't villainize her for the sake of Eddie's pain.

Give Me A Character and I’ll Break Them Down