#actually i had a crush on him back in middleschool i think

[trifolium-aries]

I still think he's Neat™

[thatfanficauthor107]

KARASUNO QUEER (AND DISABILITY??) HEADCANONS WOO

Daichi - starting off strong with my literal fave. Trans FTM and He/Him (WOO) because I self project, and bisexual male-lean because bisexual daichi is *chefs kiss* Transmale daichi is very important to me.

Has asthma, uses an inhaler (that suga covered in stickers the moment he saw it). Also has problems with his knee joints, especially his left, and often has to use a stick outside of school (but I do love a hc of amputee daichi using a prosthetic leg knee-below on his left.) Oh and he has some form of AuDHD probably (never been tested) oh and insomnia

Suga - not sure for this guy because I don’t actually know. Probably Nonbinary or Genderfluid, He/him pronouns but probably doesn’t care, likely fw They/Them too Also gay/likes boys/boy kisser mwah

has a condition that made his hair loose colour at a really young age, used to be hazel-y brown. used to be insecure about it.

Asahi - *foaming at the mouth* love this guy a normal amount. Either a cis guy or demi, maybe agender. Frankly i love almost every asahi gender hc. (Transfem asahi i love you but sadly dont hc) Pansexual. Likes the person, gender is just…there ig.

Anxiety Disorder, self esteem issues, depression, :((

Noya - transmasc, he/they pronouns. frankly uses anything but she most days. bisexual. has kissed ryuu behind the gym before.

ADHD.

Tanaka - cis male, probably, but i LOVE transmale tanaka tbf. also bisexual. Kissing Noya made him realise some things. Had claimed to be the token straight for a while. Has also kissed Yamamoto

ADHD again

Ennoshita - A STRAIGHT! nope. Bro is the bisexual guy who everyone thinks is an ally. he’s only such an ‘ally’ cause hating the gays would be hating himself He/him, cis male.

Has issues with his shoulder joints, nothing bad, they just hurt alot

Narita - Cis guy tbf, he/him, also gay as balls. had a FAT crush on daichi for a while. (same bb)

Celiac disease. Not too fussed by that, though does miss pastries (not really a disability but ehh)

Kinoshita - kisses boys. not too fond of labels, bro fucks with most pronouns, and he will wear a skirt. Has practiced kissing with Narita. Probably poly too (i need poly rep)

lactose intolerant (you bet your biscuits he ignores that) (ik this is another food allergy)

Kageyama - gay but didn’t realise it forEVER (*talking about hinata to miwa* “dude you’re gay?” “what the fuck is that” *cue one explanation later* “…oh shit.”) He/him pronouns but poor bb doesn’t understand much.

Dyslexia, Anger Issues, mild Anxiety

Hinata - He/him, probably trans FTM, tried some neopronouns for a while a didn’t hate them. Pansexual too. Look me in the eyes and tell me he would care about the gender of his lover. Exactly, you can’t.

ADHD part three, Dyscalculia

Tsukki!!! - my og self-projection. (*screaming*) Trans FTM, He/him pronouns STRICTLY (feels dysphoric otherwise). Gay as hell bro. Has kissed Tadashi before for ‘practice’.

Autistic, (probably AuDHD tbf), hypermobile, insomniac

Tadashi - AMAB, nonbinary, pansexual. Simple. Had a phase where he used a ton of specific and often unknown labels. Comfortable with his identity now.

General Anxiety Disorder.

Yachi - lesbian. Tell me she isnt. no im not listening to your argument. cis girl, she/her, but will respect your pronouns till the day she dies and beyond.

Social Anxiety.

Kiyoko - Also a lesbian. Had a boyfriend in middleschool that was so horrible she took one look at women and never looked back (definitely not a self projection…heh…) also she/her but isn’t fussed with they.

Didn’t learn to speak as a child until quite late on in her childhood. Not a disability but yk

Takeda - TRANS FTM RAH i love tranny ittetsu im sorry. i just love my ftm rep, and him. He/him pronouns because they feel affirming to him. always has period stuff stocked up in his bag for his trans and female students (*sobs*)

Autism. WOO

Ukai - He/him, cis male (though i do fw a ftm hc of him occasionally). He claimed to ‘not gaf’ about the whole ‘LGTQB-whatever-the-fuck bis’,’ cause it didn’t affect him. (since meeting ittetsu and coaching a team of fruitbowls and transformers, he’s secretly memorised as much as he can)

Claims he doesn’t but needs hearing aids. (He had to get them before his grandfather did and never once had had a moment of peace about it from Ukai senior.)

:)

[lilflowerpot]

I’m so happy that you share my headcanon of Keith having a crush on James because honestly there was so much unresolved tension between them.

Also, can you please open your fruitful mind cave and please share some headcanons that you have of the two of them please? So i can sit here and giggle uncontrollably while staring at my phone🙃

[original]

I don't really have a whole lot in the way of concrete headcanons regarding Keith & James' past, it's more nebulous ~vibes~, but let me give it my best shot:

So first thing's first, they met upon starting middleschool at the ripe young age of 11 with that delightful hormonal cocktail and all the dysfunctional emotions it entails a-brewing.

Keith's dad had been dead some three years at this point, and his foster placements had gone up in flames enough times that he'd been recently, but rather permanently, placed in a local group home. That in mind, he's all but given up on making actual human connections because these things seem to just never quite work out for him; better that he give up trying altogether, and save himself the hurt, but then... there's James.

Keith's already snagged the desk by the window in the far back—the best spot, as far as he's concerned—and is as happy to ignore and be ignored by his classmates as they file in for sixth period physics, until- until he walks in, all loud laughs and cheeky smiles, with a gaggle of kids hanging off his every word and more effortless charisma than any pre-teen boy should ever really have the right to.

And then gunmetal eyes sort of slide across the room—like he knew he was being watched before Keith even realised he was watching—all lazy arrogance and stupid hair, and he's looking Keith up and down and raising an eyebrow and- Keith looks away, mouth drawn and shoulders tight. Kids like that like to fight kids like him, he knows, and he cannot afford to get chewed out on his first fucking day for god's sake.

But it's not just physics because why would it be, no, over the coming week Keith finds that James Griffin—and it's no surprise to learn he's from money with a name like that—shares at least half his classes, P.E. among them, which is where it truly beings.

"It" being their... rivalry, Keith supposes.

He's not even sure who started it, just as likely to be both of them as neither, but when they're put on opposing teams for a "friendly" game of football, what begins as Keith making the most of his natural dexterity—skirting around lumbering opponents, nimble as a cat—turns into Griffin hunting him and only him down across the pitch like a damn bloodhound. "That's the game kid" the coach tells him, as if, by the end of it, he hadn't been systematically cornered and corralled by the other team irrespective of whether or not he had the damn ball, entirely at Griffin's direction, "like it or lump it". Keith, still wheezing with ribs that protest every breath after a particularly rough tackle, finds himself quite particularly disinclined to lump it, and certainly doesn't like it one bit.

Definitely not.

So Griffin pushes, Keith pulls. Griffin hits, Keith kicks. Griffin scratches, Keith bites.

But it's not bullying, never that: Keith's known his fair share—a scruffy orphan with anger issues is an easy target, he supposes—and this simply isn't it. Griffin evens defends him, once, in the particularly chilly January of their first year when a meat-headed trio think it funny to soak Keith's shirt during gym and leave it out to freeze; without pause or hesitation, Griffin had quietly handled them with more snide diplomacy than Keith himself would ever wield, and though the details of that closing whisper-threat were known only to he who'd received it, the sudden pallor of face and contrition of manner had left quite the impression.

...As did the cozily lined sweater that James—with goosebumps rising on his arms and cheeks already pinking from the chill—had thrown into Keith's arms from across the changing room, citing the pinprick hole in the cuff as reason enough for him to have been planning to rid himself of it anyway.

They're not friends—how could they be? James is intelligent and popular and so annoyingly good at things he damn near makes an art out of breathing—but for the first time since he was orphaned, Keith finds himself with one singular constant that he can rely on to be infuriatingly charmingly stubbornly there: never shying from Keith's sharp edges nor being swayed by the cruel whispers that haunt him everywhere he goes, James is just... James. Disagreeable. Incomprehensible. Unwavering.

And maybe, just a little bit like Keith.

Oh, and I'm also inclined to believe that (both in this au and canon) that past altercation seen in s7ep01 where Keith goes "I can out-fly anyone in this building" and James fires back with "Oh yeah? Is that what mommy and daddy told you before-" [gets punched in the face] was a classic case of projection on James' part: he strikes me as a kid whose parents expect nothing less than perfection—not only that he could be the best, but that he should—so I think that Keith getting the group in trouble, coupled with James just outright projecting his own experiences, led to a cruel comment (and worse for the fact that I believe James didn't actually know Keith was an orphan until after this instance).

[goremet-chef]

i love polyamory 🗣‼ life changing for real like. IDK i think a lot of my disconnect to things directly comes from autism so to ik to a lot of people they CANNOT imagine such a thing but its pretty easy for me? like its just a bigger relationship its great, i work better in groups anyways thats why like all of my self inserts are inserted into polyam relationships. if its not virginia and kelvin, its link and sidon, papyrus and mettaton LIKE. SHIT LIKE THAT its just second nature for me.

(didnt mean to ramble so hard but welcome back to dominics yapping club today we're going to be yapping about my connection with romantic vs platonic love because its my tumblr and im here to YAP)

i guess that disconnect honestly. i STILL really have no idea if im actually aromantic or not. like i do a lot of yearning but am i REALLY yearning? i cant read myself so i have no idea like genuinely it is a FULL mystery who knows!!!! i think maybe like. okay it falls on bpd and how that affected my relationships, when i think back to it i can tell everyone ive ever been in relationship with, they were my FP so maybe i did love them? but i know i was also obsessed like.... listen looking back on younger me clueless to what bpd even was, having a mental breakdown in middleschool cuz yr online girlfriend made matching icons with HER AND HER FRIENDS FURSONAS..... like genuinely i was SO CRUSHED i thought it was over and done and i was like what about all that we had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO DRAMATIC OKAY... i dont blame younger me cuz he couldnt have known but like... the signs have always been there KSFS im a lot more. managed now, at least i try my best to be and from what i can tell in my 'recent' relationship adventures, one of them i was ONLY obsessed with for a little while cuz he gave me attention even tho he sucked a little and then the obsession like.. faded. it was over and i said goodbye and that was that (which. IK IT SOUNDS AWFUL but it was one of those sexual interest things and outside of that attention, he was very manipulative and honestly a little rude so. i did the right thing idk why i keep losing the relationship lottery)

i guess i just get nervous about that happening again, but like. im slowly realizing i can be obsessed with someone yes, but i can also love them. i think i spent a while there like.. discrediting any of the love i felt for anyone because it was accompanied with obsession, but thats not true!! i did love them, i loved her and i loved him and it all like. idk its a lie, ive been lying to myself and saying im only capable of brutal obsession when its not true, i can love too. i love all the time!!!!! i love my pets i love my friends like. im a lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is honestly the first time im really realizing that tbh but. its the truth even if theres a lot of bitterness and anger and pain inside of me, there is also love

i think my problem is i just dont understand romantic relationship? like on an autism level cuz to me like. whats the difference between a partner and a friend? LIKE GENUINELY cuz im about as affectionate with a friend as how i should be with a partner SO WHERES THE LINE? to me there just is no line like idk i really cant see it! i think if yr dating someone, they SHOULD be yr friend because what................. like how could you get with someone whos not yr friend already yknow what i mean where did you find that guy!!!! and where has he BEEEN put him back bro.....

and even then i think i hear a lot of people describe their relationships as like 'dating their best friend' yes im sure but that just makes it murkier like. i think that romance isnt real guys i think its made up and its just a word, theres this like. this elevation of romantic love in comparison to platonic love and i do not understand why because its the same thing for me? i love my friends just as hard as id love a partner because thats what they DESERVE, so like idk i think in my head i dont see it either way its just love? the lines are too blurry for me to process so i just disregard them completely, somethin like that.

interesting to think about but it. like no one else feels that way so its very. if i did have a partner, could i give them what they need? i could love them til the very end, but like. what do they want from me............... like is there some unspoken rules that i need to have spoken to me or something, is it wrong for me to love my friends like that? is it wrong for me to love my partner like that? like i genuinely cant tell. i know people say ohh when you fall in love its this connection youve never had before its so special and new and different from yr other relationships and to that??? you must just not have very close friends!!! id do anything for my friends id lay my life down for them id eat them out id DO ORGANIZED CRIME AND BECOME A MAFIA BOSS i let them PEER PRESSURE ME INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL (lie), id go out on FRIEND DATES BASICALLY its so cute we all go out together and just hang around and shop and eat together like i love it and i would sit in their beds and just. be quiet because we dont need to be talking !!!!!!!!!!! ill sleep with them ill let them touch me even which says a lot cuz i REALLY dont like to be touched!!!!!! its love so deep it makes my brain fuzzy like im giggling right now teehee i love all my friends so much i give every single one of them a little kiss

my POINT IS i jsut dont see the need for like. the labels i guess? because to me there is no difference between romantic and platonic love, its all just LOVE i think thats whats made me feel so. STRANGE all the time, everyone always describes sparks and shit and i just dont understand cuz i spark with everyone i love, i wouldnt love them if i didnt!!!!!! grining

so am i aromantic? i do not know because i dont believe in romantic love/???? like. i dont think its that im lacking romantic attraction i think its just that romantic attraction and platonic attraction are the same thing for me basically like its just RAW LOVE AND ADORATION and i can extend that to anyone

OKAY i know this is so long this is literally me just. im like self mediating myself rn okay im HELPING MYSELF UNDERSTAND ME BETTER cuz i really have no idea whats going on at all

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alrightyyyyy, I just watched the 2018 JCS Concert version and its probably my least favorite version of this musical so far and, unless theres another 'official' proshot of it that Im not aware of yet, I have little doubt that this will be my least favorite professional version. Its not bad, theres certainly things to enjoy but theyre mostly smaller details and I dont really think the whole managed to be greater than those smaller parts, yknow?

Something that I enjoyed overall as someone whos watched and analysed three other versions of this musical before watching this one, is that there were a lot of points where I could tell that the people behind this were inspired by previous versions but still trying to put their own spin on it and not directly copy certain ideas, that was fun

The camera work was fine, there were a few shots that felt kinda awkward like one where Pilate or some other character I dont really remember, just stares dead into the camera with such a weird expression, it made me cringe a little, but otherwise I dont have much to say about it. I unfortunately dont have a whole lot to say about the staging or lighting or costumes either when I usually talk a lot about those so Im expecting this post to be on the shorter side just for that lmao. Like with the musical overall, those elements arent bad theyre more just lacking or dont quite come together as a whole. I did really like the set though, that sort of under construction cathedral looks really cool and it fits this more abstract telling of the story. It kinda reminded me of the 2000s version, which was also a lot more abstract than either the 73 or 2012 versions but was bogged down by these weird occasional half-hearted attempts at more modern political commentary, which this 2018 version doesnt have so I think its an improvement in that way. And just to be clear, I dont have an issue with newer versions of JCS trying for more relevant political commentary at all, I think its actually very appropriate, they just didnt do a very good job at it in the 2000s one and it honestly seemed like they were going to have the same issues in this version at the very start but they didnt, so that was good. The direction in the 2000s movie is wayyyyyy better though and I found it more enjoyable overall despite that and despite really disliking the lead actors

Speaking of which, I actually didnt really like most of the performers in this one. Judas started out great, he reminded me a lot of 73!Judas which is high praise from me since thats my favorite version and when I rewatched it I was metaphorically laying on my stomach with my head propped up on my hands kicking my legs back and forth like a middleschooler with a crush whenever he was on screen. Unfortunately I do think he got a bit worse over the course of the show to the point where he was 'just' good, which, hey, thats still not bad at all and pretty enjoyable to watch and listen to but still a bit of a disappointment because I honestly thought he did an amazing job with Heaven On Their Minds and even in Strange Thing, Mystifying (although that song had a bit of a weak start imo) and his part in Everything's Alright so the decline was still pretty noticeable. I did like his body language and the way he characterized Judas though

This Jesus was kind of a funny one because based on his appearance and vibes alone he probably has the most Just Some Guy energy out of all the Jesuses Ive seen which is saying a lot and yknow, I enjoy that. And then he opens his mouth to sing for the first time and its absolutely amazing and Im like WOAHH because his voice instantly makes me Get why people would wanna listen to this guy and follow him and stuff. Like, I think Jesus is a very difficult role because you have to balance coming across as detached from the people around him because hes experiencing stuff they genuinely cant understand with coming across as charismatic enough to make it believable that this cult of personality would form around while not making him come across as too much of a holier-than-thou asshole, and I think casting a pretty unassuming guy with a kind of stiff but fairly unremarkable way of holding himself but whose voice is very powerful wouldve been an excellent way to portray him. Im saying 'would have' because while hes great for his first few lines and has some moments where I think he really shines sprinkled throughout the musical, but overall he just kinda gets worse from song to song imo. Its not even like hes good for the entire first act and then gets weirdly bad in the second one, like the reverse of 2012!Jesus who was pretty weak in the first act but then randomly got really good in the second one, he just gets progressively worse its a real shame. But I still wanna mention those moments where he really shines, spoiler alert theyre mostly when he gets angry; when hes yelling at Judas in Strange Thing, Mystifying, hes pretty good in The Temple, both when hes yelling n shit and when he has that short quiet verse between the two parts and during his parts in Trial Before Pilate. Funnily enough those parts are also all parts I really liked in the 1973 german version and his delivery is very similar to that Jesus but thats just a coincidence lol

I also have a lot of things to say about like, the non-singing parts of his performance but in the interest of not talking about Jesus for too much bc I still have a lot of other stuff to talk about, Im just gonna talk about something I noticed during Simon Zelotes in this. In the other versions Ive watched it was pretty clear that Jesus was uncomfortable during that part and I noticed that he really wasnt in this 2018 one, which I initially found interesting (in a positive way) because I hadnt seen that interpretation before but then I thought about it some more afterwards and I was like, ohhhhhh yeah, theres a reason I havent seen that interpretation before huh. I think him being perfectly comfortable during this scene makes him feel a lot more, idk if this is the right word exactly, thoughtless ? he feels very No Thoughts, Head Empty, is what Im trying to say. And it makes him come across as less complex and kind of undermines a big running theme in this musical which is that no one really understands Jesus because hes mentally ill on a mission from god. Also, Simon Zelotes very much feels like its trying to comment on the hollow nature of praying to a guy whose actual teachings you dont really follow and that really loses its impact when Jesus just like. agrees, basically. On top of that it makes Poor Jerusalem kinda come out of nowhere so that makes for a weird experience

So, since Ive talked about Jesus and Judas individually I also wanted to spare some time to talk about what theyre like together since their relationship is a pretty big focus. I dont have a lot to say about the kiss that I havent already said in my first post about this version, its awkward I hate how the hug thats supposed to happen afterwards comes in weirdly too late, I did not like it. at all. And after I made that initial post I realized that part of the reason it felt so weird and awkward is probably because they have basically no physical contact with each other before (or after) this and like. Theres a lot of physical contact between Mary and Jesus and Mary and Peter and I think there was atleast an attempt from her to reach out to Judas and touch his arm at some point and when you pay attention to the extras theres a lot of touching going on too, especially during the The Last Supper which is yknow, the scene that almost directly procedes the kiss so its like, extra noticeable. And its extra weird because theres a lot more physical contact between Jesus and Judas in other versions and in this one its like they wont even stand too close to each other for some reason.

Anyway, moving on to a character that I usually dont have a lot to say about: Mary. I like her but shes not that complex and while her songs definitely definitely arent bad (bc none of the songs in this show are bad imo) theyre not necessarily songs I would listen to on their own, but again, I like her and I think she usually manages to seem interesting even when the play doesnt really focus on her. So it surprised me that they could make her so bland in this one. Ive thought about this for quite a while now and I still cant quite get a handle on why exactly she comes across like that, but I think its because shes lacking that bit of edge that Mary had in the previous versions Ive watched. Like, in the 1973 movie shes kinda grimy because everyone is kinda grimy (I think 70s movies are just kinda like that) and I remember her voice having a bit of roughness to it and she did come across as a bit cold on my first watch, like, I was obviously expecting her to be a pseudo-love interest for Jesus but thats just because Im aware of certain conventions that dictate that any piece of media needs some kind of romantic subplot, not because she actually came across as romantically interested in him. Then in the 2000s version she was pretty passive agressive towards Judas and they did some stuff to make them more obvious foils of each other and Ive talked about this before, this ended up making Judas come across as really weird and bad there but I do think Mary came out of it as more interesting so that was neat. In the 2012 version I'll admit its mostly just her outfit that makes her come across as interesting to me but idk, I also really like this actress and it was neat to see her do stuff with the rest of the ensemble in the background sometimes and she definitely never came across as generic in the same way that 2018!Mary did.

The most interesting things she did were, in this order: go up to Judas after Jesus yelled at him in Strange Thing, Mystifying and he walked away, her touching everyone and calming them down at the start of Everything's Alright and her sitting down between Jesus and Judas and holding both their hands for a moment before leaving to put a candle on the table at the start of The Last Supper. And one of those things wasnt even really interesting! And honestly, shes essentially the Token Girl Character of this very male-centric play and those almost always play this kind of mediator role, so this doesnt really help in making her feel less generic to me. Also, like, idk if this really makes sense as a complaint but I feel like encapsulates my issues with this Mary and its that, when she was doing I Don't Know How To Love Him and she got to the line "I'm the one who's always been/So calm, so cool, no lovers fool" I was just like "sorry girlie, I dont believe you, youve got massive Lover's Fool vibes" yknow. Moving on

I dont have much to say about Caiaphas, Annas and their goons, they were all pretty good. My main issue with them was that they were oddly quiet during This Jesus Must Die but honestly thats an issue with the entire production. Like, idk if something went wrong or if it was meant to be like this bit I was watching this on my computer with the volume wayyyy louder than I usually have it and it was still really quiet for some reason. The fact that the audience would applaud whenever a song ended or whenever a character entered or reentered the stage didnt help bc its like, most of these songs come one right after the other with nary a break inbetween bc they obviously didnt accomodate for that and it doesnt make for a very pleasant viewing experience. But back to the priests, I wanted to give a special shoutout to that guy that sings the line "A rabbel rousing mission that I think we must ABORT" I think hes great, hes absolutely insane, hes a white boy off the shits and I love him for it

Speaking of off the shits white boys, I also really liked Simon. I dont actually remember what his singing was like or if I thought it was good or not, I just remember him going wild on stage while looking like the older version of a Die Wilden Kerle movie villain (if youre not german or didnt watch those, please google "Die Wilden Kerle Gonzo", "Die Wilden Kerle Fabi" and "Die Wilden Kerle Darkside" to understand this joke) and sometimes thats really all you need. Also, during The Last Supper everyone is being very effectionate with each other and I love that Simon is included in that. Like, hes this horrible little man whos done nothing except advocate for violence and look, hes got a friend who hugs him, hes got a woman who hugs him and hes got a guy friend who comforts him when their spiritual leader/maybe friend? has a mental breakdown and starts yelling at all of them all of a sudden. Love that for him

I didnt like Pilate though. He did a good job I guess, but idk the vibes just werent right with him. Funnily enough I had the exact opposite of that issue with Herod, whose vibes were absolutely impeccable but whose singing was just kinda strange and underwhelming. I did like him going up to the audience during that dance break to be like "Whos your king?" or whatever, thats was neat

Thats it as far as my thoughts on the cast go, it wasnt great but I did really like the ensemble. I dont have too much to say about the individual musical numbers which is why I didnt split this post up the way I did my 2012 JCS post. I dont think they did anything particularly noteworthy or striking with the chereography or the lighting that wasnt done better in other version, the most interesting part was really the fact that there were two 'audience-walls'. What I mean by that is that, usually when you have a stageplay you have your set which has three actual walls and then one non-literal wall that the audience can see the story through, but this one has two, its like a rectangle with two sides missing essentially. But they still dont do too much with that, the staging of certain numbers is a bit more dynamic than it would be on a traditional stage (like Damned For All Time/Blood Money for example) and it seems like the performers have a bit more freedom to move and turn around and whatnot but thats about it.

One thing that I did really enjoy was the use of these white scarves. They show up during Hosanna for the first time and the ensemble members and Jesus all wave them around, they look cool and I like how actually wear them and put them around their heads during Jesus' second verse. Soon after that we get The Temple, which I think couldve been better, especially the first part, but during the beggars part the ensemble is also wearing scarves (I think theyre more of a light gray but its kinda hard to tell with the lighting) and I know its a stretch to say that this is supposed to be some sortof parallel or whatever between the two scenes because theres only so many ways you can wear a scarf but idk, I really like the idea of contrasting these two scenes where Jesus is surrounded by his followers. Im pretty sure the next time they appear its during The Last Supper scene where they all have them around their shoulders and then when they all use them as blankets when they go to sleep at the end, I thought that was really cute. Also, Mary puts a scarf around Judas' shoulders and Im pretty sure its light gray instead of white which could be a nod to The Temple scene earlier but I actually think its meant to kindof tie in to Jesus' outfit. I just realized I havent talked about the costuming at all but Jesus is wearing all white with a light gray jacket over it, so yeah. The next time the white scarves make an appearance is during Pilate And Christ, all the ensemble members wrap them around their chests like some sort of faux toga and then they take them back off for that mini Hosanna reprise and wave them around like they did during the song proper. The last appearance of these scarves is during Judas' Death, they're scattered all over the floor and he picks them up and hangs himself with them. I think I wouldve preferred it if he just kept that scarf Mary gave him and hanged himself with that but at the same time this is really good and interesting too, yknow, hes hanging himself using whats essentially a symbol Jesus-worship while telling god its his fault that hes doing it. good stuff

I was getting close to ending it here but remembering that I forgot to say anything about the costuming earlier caused me to remember all the thoughts I had about it but Ive already spent too much time writing this and Im starting to forget stuff, so here are my basic thoughts about the costuming in a quick bullet point list:

the outfits do an overall better job at actually looking cool and/or punk than they did in either the 2000s or the 2012 version, although i might just feel that way because theyre the most up-to-date fashion-wise

Pilates outfit was really weird and I still dont know what to think about it, I wouldve probably liked it more if they cast a different actor with better vibes

Herods outfit was great, no notes

I didnt like those background dancer outfits, they looked like bird-themed strippers and they wouldve felt more appropriate for the first half of The Tempel (that part was also in desperate need of some dancing, basically all they did there was rub their faces against a table full of glitter for about two minutes)

Judas outfit feels like an upgrade of the one from the 2000s version, he actually looked cool, h wore red and he showed some cleavage!! Not as much as the 73 version but still

JUDAS GOT TO WEAR WHITE AGAINNN well, he got to wear an outfit covered in white rhinestones which really looked more silvef but I dont think Im getting anything better than this at this point so I'll take it

I like that Mary wore orange like in the 1973 version and her dress was very beautiful but the lighting was kept very cool/neutral throughout most of the show so it made her stick out when she wasnt supposed to and it was really distracting

I like that all the ensemble members wear white and gray outfits for the crucifixion again, to tie in to Jesus' outfit

So yeah, Conclusion Time

I'd give this one a solid 6.5/10, for reference I thought both the 1973 movie and the 2000 recording were 7/10s and the 2012 version was an 8/10. Maybe thats a pretty high score for a proshot that I didnt have a lot of kind things to say about but idk, at the end of the day I still had fun listening to and watching a musical I really enjoyed

[yenobi]

Dear Arima Kousei,

(Dear my Kousei,)

It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with...

(It doesn't feel weird at all since I always write what I wanted to tell you...)

You're the worst.

(Yes, you are.)

Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

(Meh. Meh. Meh.)

The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in.

(The first time I ever saw you, we were six years old, I guess. It was when your family visited here. You were so jolly, always wanted to play, and cool—well this is my eyes. That one moment when you were playing with my dolphin balloon made me become more considerate. Idk maybe because it was you who was playing with it.)

The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour pallete. The melodies danced.

(The sound of your laugh was contagious.)

The girl next to me started crying. I wasn't expecting that at all.

(Then came my cousin. She sat next to me. That was when I ever told a person I had a crush on you.)

And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people's lives. You're the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

(And even so, you didn't come the next weeks. I think about you sometimes, and I know you were always in my heart. You're quite the worst. Why do you have to make me feel this way?)

When I found out we were in the same middleschool, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'd hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar.

(After years, there was an upcoming activity. I found out you were coming, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'll just walk straight towards you. Instead, I just watched you from afar.)

I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn't really any space in there for someone like me.

(I mean. After all. We were just kids the last time we saw each other and you might've forgotten about me. And in your world, there wasn't really any space in there for someone like me, indeed.)

When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn't get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body.

(When I haven't seen you at all for how many years, I somehow forgot about you. But someone came. A common friend who started talking about you. I actually don't remember her playing with us. I do not have such memories, really. But she said she was with us so okay. I really only remember us without her. Really, I can't remember anything she was saying.)

One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out.

(One night, I was thinking about what she has said and there, I realized as thoughts flew, you're more than that.)

That's when I ran away.

(That's when I decided to change in a good way.)

I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do.

(I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I tried to create small interactions just to talk to you.)

I wasn't scared anymore to get contact lenses.

(I tried watching anime when I found out you like it.)

I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight.

(I tried watching Star Wars because of you as well—but actually a part of it was because of my father.)

And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted.

(I also found myself continued learning how to play the piano when I saw you holding and playing the violin. And found out, your lie in april is also your favorite.)

And then I told a lie. Just one.

(And then I told a lie. Just one.)

I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta.

(I lied and said that I can live without you.)

And that lie brought you to me.

(And that lie isn't working at all. I'm still into you.)

Please apologize to Watari for me... though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now.

(Please I apologize for being like this... though I'm sure you don't care about me by now.)

I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him.

(I think I need someone more wholehearted and caring than you.)

I think we'd be fine as friends though.

(I think you and I would be fine as friends.)

And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too.

(And I'd also like to apologize for my close friends who likes you too. I really hate this situation.)

I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us.

(I want for there to be no hard feelings. But seems like the situation has gotten worse... because of me, I guess. I wanted to fight and I fought for you. For us. But it was just me. You didn't do anything.)

I don't think she would've had an answer for me.

(I don't think this can be solved without you.)

After all, she was inlove with you.

(After all, we'll get pretty dragged by you.)

We all knew that.

(I don't know if we all knew that. But I do.)

I think the only people who didn't know were you and her.

(I think the only person who didn't know was you.)

That underhanded lie brought me to you didn't work out the way I had imagined.

(That confession brought me to you didn't work out that way I had imagined. What do you say?)

It was darker.

(It was darker.)

And meaner.

(And meaner.)

And denser.

(And denser.)

And more stubborn.

(And more stubborn.)

And more perverted.

(And more boring.)

And softer.

(And softer.)

And more masculine.

(And more considerate.)

And sweet.

(And a little sweet.)

Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing.

(Remember that night we danced? Everything was so beautiful.)

Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win.

(Raising each other's hands, dancing crazily as if it was just us in the hall, smiling to the moon and back, looking at each other's eyes as if we both were waiting for that very moment to happen for a very very long time. I really wanted that moment to last.)

The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun.

(The moon was beautiful, and the sun was so bright.)

Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We're awful singers.

(Ballroom dancing with you was fun although I think we looked like idiots. We're pretty good dancers though—maybe because we were each other's partner? We're in sync, I suppose. You walked me to my seat, told me that later you'll dance with me again, and walked away with a smile. After seconds, I saw you walking towards me again. I didn't think you would come back and boldly sit next to me and funny how you asked me if you can sit beside me when you were already sitting. Pretty much in awe, I was.)

At the school at night. I'm still sure there was something there.

(That night. I'm sure we both lit the light that something has been finally expressed after a very long time. The way you look said it all. The way your eyes sparkled said it all. The way you held my waist and hand said it all. The way you smile with purity said it all.)

The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms.

(Time has passed; can we go back?)

It's strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage.

(It's strange to be dancing with you. It feels surreal. The way you walked towards me and offer your hand to dance with me. I totally felt a slow-motion effect.)

They're unforgettable scenes to me. But they're such little things. It's weird, isn't it?

(They're unforgettable scenes to me. But do you also treasure them like I do? It's weird, isn't it?)

What do you think?

(What do you think?)

Do you think I made it into anyone's heart like that?

(Did I make it into your heart?)

I wonder if I made it into yours.

(I really wonder if I made it into yours.)

I wonder if you'll still remember me.

(I wonder if you'll still remember me.)

If you forget me, I'll just come back and...

(If you forget me, I'll just do the same and...)

No, I don't want to start over.

(No, I don't want to start over.)

Please don't forget me.

(Please don't forget me.)

Promise me you won't forget me.

(Promise me you won't forget me.)

I'm glad it was you.

(I'm glad it was you.)

I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei.

(I hope this reaches you, my Kousei.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I'm sorry we couldn't eat all those canelés.

(I'm sorry we couldn't have fun with our dream story films.)

I'm sorry I hit you so much.

(I'm sorry I demanded so much.)

I'm sorry I was selfish.

(I'm sorry I was selfish.)

I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

(I'm so, so, so, so, sorry.)

Thank you for everything.

(Thank you for everything.)

Miyazono Kaori

(Am I your Kaori?)

[dayfalwastaken]

Hello again, glad to see you're okay^^! Don't worry about not saying much, it's totally understandable. I haven't been too active either.

Now, HOLY CRAP, look how good these designs are!!! They're so lovely, the improvement is incredible! My favorite has to be Jessica. Just the way you've drawn her, what pose you chose and her expression- dayum! And Jason is great too! I think he was around seven in the novels, so the fact that your design makes him look to be in middleschool is actually spot on for an Aged Up AU!

Dear Lamar is back, and boy, he looks so done with everybody. I love it! He's probably the type that would have to be begged to come along, just `cause he'd rather not get into trouble like the rest of the gang. In a way, he's kinda like Gabriel, and wouldn't be a believer of the supernatural unless seeing it for himself. But, well, someone does have to keep out young crew in check, no XD? Hehehe- trust Lamar to make himself dissapear when things start going bad though, if the Twisted Ones is anything to go by...

Marla's great! She gives me that feeling of a shy prankster, unlike Carlton or Fritz, so her and Fritz getting along feels very natural! He's the adventurer type and I think Marla's the type of person who'd find a unique charm in that. Who knows, she may even develop a crush on him now that he started bettering himself. Marla is like the glue of the team, cracking jokes when it gets tough and doing her best to keep people happy, as you say. Her and Susie are just awesome like that.

Oh, now for Jess... I see her like, the smart, accomplished young woman who had her future figured out from a young age and always knows what to do, you know? The type that can just get stuff done when others can't, but not in that annoying Mary Sue kind of way. She's confident in herself, sure, but that often backfires since she has a tendency to be in over her head. Probably a mother of the group, and would get along great with Michael. She has a heart of gold, and that makes it hard for people not to like her, but unlike the Novels, she's more of a party girl too. Not afraid to have fun once in a while... She may or may not plan stuff with Carlton instead of being sick of him, but that's their secret👀.

I really like what you did for Mike Brooks! He looks like some sort of mechanic or engineer that would get a job at Freddy's so the group can have someone on the inside. It's great! He's the quiet kid in the back, but he's a nice guy if you have the patience to know him. He'd be good friends with many of the shier members of the squad. And he actually did make an appearance in ATSAT! It's in the chapter where Matt first goes to school and is introduced to his classmates by Carlton.

I 100% agree with your take on Jason. Poor kid is gonna be babied by everyone XD. But that's what he gets for being bored enough to spy on his sister and get himself involved with her ghost hunting gang. Him getting involved would most likely be because he overheard what he shouldn't have, got curious and stalked his sister until he saw where she was going and with who. From there, he'd try to sneak around but get noticed or discovered by someone, maybe Cassidy, and after some serious debate he'd reluctantly be taken along just because nobody can make him leave. Too bad he'd be kind of a pain to deal with. All that babying would make him stop listening to the others and put himself in dangerous situations. He'd give poor Marla grey hair, and Charlie too.

Actually, there's an idea! Charlie would be the most overprotective of him out of her, Marla and Michael, since her brother had been taken away from her at a young age, she'd make herself Jason's second stepsister. Oh, just thinking about it- the drama it could lead to. Like a scene where Jason snaps and tells Charlie to mind her own business and leave him alone. Something awful like "Just `cause your brother died you don't get to treat me like a little kid. I'm not your stupid brother." Damn, now I'm just itching to write a scene like that 😅.

Anyway, thank you so much for these amazing pieces of fanart. They were such a suprise and it's really brightened my day. I'm also happy to hear you liked the preview! More of them will be on their way, so be on the lookout for that^^! Thank you once again, take care and I wish you an awesome day!

After so long I am back! I’m terribly sorry for not saying much so have in turn the continuation of the designs of the dead Matt au! ^^

It’s now the Fnaf novel crew’s turn! Well I just gotta do Carlton still and the star of the fanfic and au!~ Just fresh ups of they’re outfits so they aren’t that blank ya know? Also sorry for Jason looking older than intended..yikes.

Now Lamar is another voice of reason to keep the gang stable,he might be a “favorite” child because he does know where order must be set with safety and fun..heh.

Marla I actually see getting along with Fritz in a sibling like bond.probably tease each other a bit and help each other and others of they’re squad to brighten they’re moods,still might be also a “favorite child” who knows? 👀 but I know she is also the one who keeps the group stable..somehow.

Jessica our dearest! Who am I kidding? I think your gonna know she’s also one of those who keep it stable..to some extent,her plans and strangely are useful for theyre troubles.one of those who are closer with Charlie! ^^

Micheal brooks here who survived a…”incident” with a missing thumb and is kind of the teddy bear/golden retriever of the group.though I’m wondering if he SHOULD be added in because in the fanfic he didn’t appear so I’ll just say it’s gonna be a “what if” unless he does appear! ^^

Now Jason here oh boy..he’s the baby of the group basically.the one who is kept most secure and guarded because of being so so young and how much stuff happend for the others when they were kids themselves.atleast he will have adventures of a life time rn! Though of course he is annoyed by the nearly 24/7 eyes on him from almost everyone,especially Marla,Micheal and Charlie.

Hope your doing alright! ^^ also I saw that preview and it was AMAZING and I’m getting PUMPED!!

[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

[your--isgayrights]

I love all this! I’m going to reread wall fic for the uhh third(?) time with all your behind the scenes stuff in mind! I noticed in your list of stuff you like to talk about, you included Naruto. How/what do you think orv-character(s)-of-your-choice would do in the Narutoverse? (If that’s too odd an ask, just take the compliment and my love <3)

Literally when someone says the word reread to me I swoon; I am swooning currently swoon swoon swoon.

YES I DO LOVE NARUTO. Naruto is my little guy okay. I know that I Cannot Convince other people in good conscious to get into it Now in the year of 2022, but it's just that comfort show for me that when stuff was happening to me growing up I always felt like there was something True to My Life that was happening concurrently in Naruto... Teenage Boy Syndrome smh... ANYWAY my Favorite episodes are Shippuden 209-216 (bc he has a panic attack in 209 and is Going Through It while his toxic middleschool crush attempts to murder the chief of police and then his bestie decides she has to murder their mutual middleschool crush and its so <3 drama). Also Sakura and Hinata are my favorite characters who are not Naruto.

Sorry okay but like you basically activated my trap card here. I'll try very hard to talk as little about Naruto and focus as much on ORV as possible... because this is my ORV blog...

Ummm if you're just asking one to one comparisons here; I think that some of the things that draw me into ORV are obviously things I saw in Naruto because Naruto was sort of a Formative Media Experience for me like before I watched Naruto I was like 12 and didn't have a personality yet and just watched what was popular but then after watching 500 episodes of a show I decided was My Favorite everything else falls into place. So obviously there's the Standard Shounen tropes I just like to see in everything like the emphasis on friendship and bonds in times of crisis and war and the way that Trauma is dissected... Like I always say this but like if you want to help a teenage boy exercise his empathy muscles sit him down in front of Naruto because the ONE thing that Naruto is always doing that it gets called like slow paced for nowadays is that it takes the time to remind you Why You Care about the people who are fighting, why the fight matters to these people, and what their motivations are even if they seem like they're just up and down villains from Naruto's perspective... This kind of drags things out in the end because there's so much time spent building empathy that near the end when Kishimoto decides he needs to have like a Big Bad we kind of get a bunch of weakly outlined OP villains for everyone with a Backstory to unite against (which I suppose is the weakness of dissecting the horror of war so thoroughly despite the fact that your plot hinges on the ever perpetuating and escalating nature of war). Like I think that the End of Naruto where all the ghosts of the characters we care abouts' pasts come back to fight had a lot of potential to Further the themes about how the Current state of society's conflicts is predicated by the egos of those of the past; but a lot of that theming that was heavily emphasized in the Pain arc gets shoved to the side in favor of trying to make "resolution"s to the important characters' personal traumas. Like I REALLY hate the way that Gaara's parents were handled like NO it is NOT curative of ANY of Gaara's issues to just be like "actually the trauma didn't happen :) it was made up :D go be happy now son!" Same thing with the way that the arc between Itachi and Sasuke was resolved... Kishimoto has this habit of only really knowing how to "resolve" a traumatic or tragic arc by backpedalling and saying "No actually it didn't happen like that!" instead of doing what I think is a lot more interesting and saying Yes That's what happened; where do we go now?

WHICH IS WHY I LOVE ORV OKAY THIS ASK IS ABOUT ORV. I think that ORV explores a lot of the same themes that Naruto fans love about the horrors of violence and the perpetuity of cyclical trauma; but like... how do I put this... It actually Knows its doing that? Haha, like, I honestly think that Naruto as a story is very... Raw. You can see a lot of how the cutthroat nature profiteering nature of the shounen manga market effects the production; during certain arcs different ideas and themes are brought to the forefront and you can tell when a chapter is being written for the purpose of introducing a new character or for the sake of one cool moment for the hero... But even still there are times when you really can just Feel that something being written is coming from something Real and raw and just kind of how the Author really sees things... Like Kishimoto often references that the driving motivation of Naruto to help his friend who is going through something dark is related to something in his own life, and I think it really shows in the very structure of Naruto in this theme of always reaching for the past and wanting things to be the same as they were back then... I feel like a lot of people thought the ending of Shippuden is supposed to come off as a resolution to that struggle and got disappointed when him and sasuke didn't get together... but I really like to think that the truth is Naruto's dream was actually impossible; things can't be like they were back then... But they can still be better. He'll never be as close to Sasuke again, they won't have team 7 of his childhood ever agian but... He knows that Sasuke's out there somewhere doing good things, and he just... moves on with his life. Starts a family, becomes a leader... I really appreciate that, actually.

Either way though, there's a lot of evidence that an ending I enjoyed came about purely due to coincidence... It's sort of confirmed that a lot of the decisions Kishimoto made towards the end were influenced by publishers' perceptions of what fans would be satisfied with... And a lot of the end of Naruto really shows like the Evidence of that struggle.

OKAY BUT I SAID ALL OF THAT ABOUT NARUTO BECAUSE LIKE. In contrast, ORV is just sooo meticulously planned and thought out with the INTENTION of being read and being interpreted in this deeper way. Like ORV is the kind of media that like is seeing guys like me who read Naruto and being like... Okay you like that but... Didn't you Want This? And its like yes <333 thank you for having a traumatized main character who never really resolves being traumatized <3 but learns to love and be loved anyway <3 thanks <3333

Like it's like Naruto is this huge field of half extremely juicy grapes half dead ones and ORV is one really well maintained grape plant that's all Juice okay... Like I love that Kishimoto had Naruto Legit Have a panic attack but its hard for me to say whether or not Kishimoto even knows what a panic attack is its like... Do you Know About This Shit or did this just, like, happen to you man. VS singshong like definitely Know what they are doing with like the fucking disassociation aspect of the 4th wall and the way that KDJ's trauma from his childhood specifically dictates his actions in forming bonds with others as an adult and Tried to send YJH to a therapist but picked the guy who set PTSD research back by a century because of his literary clout lmaooo.

OK. Soooo that's just analysis - I think you're asking for an AU so let me try okay.

So if we're making an AU where the ORV characters do Naruto; Kim Dokja has to be Naruto, obviously. I think it's more fun for him to have the typical KDJ trauma than to be just a straight up orphan though, no offense to Naruto being an orphan I was never bored when that fucking swing showed up I was legit always psyched about it like there's that motherfucking swing again the fucking MVP the one and only Child Support in this god damned village, just because it's more true to his character you know. Then I feel like it was really always overlooked how Sakura was kind of the only person in her class who was a 1st generation ninja; as in she didn't have any clan backing and only had civilian parents... She studied on her own and then became the successor of a Sannin just through pure focus and skill and then also she performed surgery in one episode anyway <3. In my head I've extrapolated this to mean that Most kids of civillians Do Not Make Genin rank and there is like class disparity because of that in My Mind okay? Okay. Anyway if Naruto was about KDJ then I think he's the kid of two civilians who someone (Future Han Sooyoung I've decided) hid a tailed beast inside of (the fourth wall the kyubi is the fourth wall here). Same deal with his trauma except the way he killed his dad was with his tailed beast powers, cuz the fourth wall was ordered to protect him at all costs. His mom is a civilian and takes the fall for the gruesome murder so she goes to ninja prison. Wards of the State go to Ninja School I guess bc child soldier is the only life you get or whatever but KDJ isn't really motivated to become Hokage or anything like Naruto is; he just wants to live a normal life and not stand out because he's convinced there's just this Monster inside of him...

BUT here comes YJH. YJH I've decided is from a powerful clan bloodline but is also a war orphan who has been orphaned like. Multiple times. Like he has been adopted and then had his parents die and then adopted and had his new parents die and adopted and had his new parents die and- you get the picture. This is what's giving me his Regressors Depression vibes but he goes to Ninja school driven with the idea that he is going to End War because that's the only thing he has to live for; no one person took any one family from him, its just all the endless conflict makes it pointless to care about anyone at all. KDJ is like kind of uwuing side eyeing him though like because lowkey he thinks that maybe YJH is the only person who could ever really understand him (yes the naruto and sasuke equivalent). YJH keeps getting adopted bc people want to coast off his prestigous clan name; he's basically guaranteed to be Hokage one day, but he doesn't really care. In his mind he's just going to war to kill, there's no idea of Living for something for him. But like KDJ watching him finds an inspiration to live in wanting to help YJH... which mostly comes out as him trying to Compete with YJH, haha.

Then, obviously, HSY is the third of their genin team. I think that she's an heiress of a powerful clan, probably with the sort of creation/brushstroke powers that Sai has or something to do with sealing to be in line with having knowledge and kind of tied to writing... But she doesn't care about this Ninja shit at alllll. I mean, obviously she's not going to let Broody Asshole show her up in the grade results but she just wants to do her service long enough not to have her parents up her asshole about it and then pursue her passion of writing novels...

Obviously then they become a found family style genin group and their dynamics are KDJ being obsessed with YJH and HSY wanting to find out about KDJ bc he's so angsty and is into similar stuff as her but also he's obsessed with YJH which makes him a total mystery like what's wrong with him and then YJH is just like -_- what's the point of caring about these people they'll be gone soon too and then has to slowly learn that these are people who will stand by his side no matter what and are his comrades...

Then the whole thing with Orochimaru- YJH relapses and realizes that people as powerful as Orochimaru (or whatever equivalent we want to have for him IDK Asmodeus lets have it be asmodeus he's equivalently creepy) could take away his friends at a moments notice and that it's not safe to have comrades, to care about people until he's the strongest. So he refocuses on only seeking power and seeing that as the way to stop war.

Meanwhile, KDJ begins to believe that pursuing bonds, trying to understand and read the lives of others, and accumulating as many connections as possible is the way to stop war. When YJH defects he's heartbroken and will do anything to get him back, because he just wants to FORCE YJH to like sit down and let him stop All War for him.

Then with Han Sooyoung: much the same as in Cannon her connection to KDJ is stronger than her connection to YJH, and the importance of her role comes up most in the endgame. Her methodology of "stopping war" is... Time travel! When she was young Han Sooyoung was talented enough to make an advanced form of shadow clones utilizing division of her memories; she would leave one at home to write while the other had to go to school... But one day, when she got home her shadow clone was gone? So HSY's shadow clone just decided to go on a globe trotting tour of the Ninja war because "I'm just a shadow clone anyway. If I die then original me will just have gotten to see some sweet sights!" The shadow clone went on to have a life of its own and eventually comes into conflict with KDJ like in ORV... She's seeking her own end to war by... Inventing time travel? And? Making it so that war just... doesn't happen?

So she tries to go back and find like the Start of War but obviously fails to stop it conclusively and kind of loses her faith in humanity a bit because she's like Jesus Fucking Christ I basically have to commit a Genocide if I just get rid of all the fighty people. Ugh. Guess mass murder is necessary but lets do the least possible.

And then obviously since the Bijuu are the Naruto worlds' equivalent to the arms race from world war II and the post WWII state of nuclear proliferation, HSY time travels and takes control of the 4th wall equivalent kyuubi, Planning to use its powers to stop the war through force. She sees the most vulnerable point in time to grab the 4th wall some time before it's passed to that random civilian kid KDJ... How'd he end up with it anyway?

So she goes back through Kim Dokja's life as an observer at first to kind of just look for the perfect moment to strike and steal the kyubi from him but like... Then she kind of sees the Traged of KDJ. That the only thing protecting him from dying is really the Kyubi... In every fight as a genin... then when he tried to commit suicide several times... then back when his father almost beat him half to death... HSY realizes that without the Kyubi, Kim Dokja is someone who would be doomed to die no matter what; but the tailed beast always stops him. It forces him to hold on until he meets YJH and HSY and then things just get... better.

She's conflicted now, not wanting to pounce and steal the Kyubi from KDJ directly... so she goes back to before KDJ is born.

The 4th wall kyubi was in the hands of some madman who was going to blow up the village they lived in (killing everyone including HSY herself)... HSY just watches it happen at first but then she slowly realizes that no one is coming into stop this rogue jinchuuriki so she like... steps in to do it herself.

And when she extracts the kyubi it... calls her "mother"?

Apparently, in the future, HSY will go back even further in the past and Create the tailed beasts.

And she realizes it's all because she...

She can't let Kim Dokja die.

That person whose entire life she just watched...

Yeah, she would doom the entire world to eternal war just to save that one kid who sat behind her in genin school.

So she puts the kyubi into a sleeping baby Dokja and then goes back in time to invent the tailed beasts lmao. I think that's unhinged so that's why I said it. I think she deserves to be a mad scientist who does immoral things.

Anyway then like they win the great ninja war and all kiss or something IDK <3 (<-kishimoto-esque ending)

[fictionalmenmistress]

Hello hello my lovely fellow Portal fans. Its story time. This is a true story, and the more I thought about it and remembered all the peices, the more ironically awesome I thought it was. So here it is.

Enjoy this story of a real Chell and real Wheatley, during school days.

As you may recall, the woman Chell is based off of is a lovely woman named Alicia Glidewell. Well, I met her at a wedding for a family member, aaaaand... turns out she's my cousin. And I only found out AFTER I fell in love with portal and it's lore. So, I look quite a bit like Chell, and I'm related to the real Chell. On top of that, I've always had a natural talent for solving abstract brain puzzles. During middleschool, I wore my dark brown hair in a ponytail everyday too!

Now, there was this nerdy blonde guy from Bristol, England, who went to the same middleschool as me. He came across the water to attend my school in America, during the same time I was there. We both became friends and got along well, and I don't know about his thoughts on it, but we always had this lowkey passive-agressive competition going, with who was the more intelligent one.

He talked a lot, sounded like a know-it-all, and I teased him playfully for it. He would say I'm square, and I would say that he was an octagon, if I were a square. He would always be like "aCTUALLY, the *rambles on*-" in his English accent and correct me every time I would discuss something by him, and it was always annoying because I felt like I didn't know as much as he did. In reality, he put me in awe at how much he seemed to know. I felt like he really did know more than me... but, I really enjoyed talking to him regardless.

Looking back, he was what everyone expects Wheatley to look like if he were human. Blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, a quirky complexion, slender tall lanky frame, dorky smile, and a Bristol english accent. And the funny thing is, he's from the same region in England that Stephen Merchant was from (the voice actor of Wheatley), so he had the same vocal inflections as the character.

So, here we have two real kids, barely teens, that are friends. Constantly showing one another up in knowledge and useless facts on what's what. One, a relative of real Chell with a simmilar resemblance, who has a knack for puzzles and mind games. The other, an ideal image of Wheatley in human form, who happens to have the same type of accent, and talkative "I'm a genius" personality. The girl would listen to his ramblings in silence, and the boy would take a little too much pleasure in sounding like the clever one. Adorably awkward, he was. Just like Chell and Wheatley.

And the ironic punchline, is that I got an award at the end of the year, for recieving the highest grade point average in the entire prestigious school's history. When I found out the news, I mentally went "HA! TAKE THAT, *his name*! Wow... I can't believe I was the smarter one... all this time he was showing me up and making me feel stupid in our little contests, only for him to not get the award (that I didn't even know was a thing until they made it for me), and me to get it?" I remember telling my mother that I was suprised he didn't get the award, and I did. And, I wondered why. He ended up congradulating me... and turns out he got average grades this whole time. My mom said: "Well, its clear that he wasn't as smart as he sounded." (And if THAT'S not the most Wheatley explaining statement ever...) Just like Chell outsmarted Wheatley, I had always been the smarter one.

After that, we went separate ways and carried on. We both graduated from different schools, and he went back to college in England. Last night, I remembered him and looked him up, and turns out he currently has a bachelors in engineering and mathematics. HE DESIGNS AND CODES MACHINES. Ironic, isn't it? And me? I'm pursuing a career as a published author, while studying psychology and deception. I'm 20, he's 21.

I always had a crush on Wheatley as a character... I adored his personality. But the real kicker is, it took me growing up to realize that I had the real Wheatley already... and, I was his real Chell. This moment in my life is like a Portal Chelley AU, during school days. I think its really cool that it actually happened.

I recently tried to reach back out to him, because I couldn't stop thinking about him and our little childhood rivalry/friendship. Maybe we can recconect and keep challenging eachother, maybe we can become closer than before. Who knows... maybe we can become more.

We'll see what he says.

[fruit-teeth]

Things that happened in middle school

1. In sixth grade, I became convinced that a boy from our adjacent high school (context: my middle school was in the same building as our high school) was madly in love with me. There was literally no evidence for this except that I made him laugh once during a school assembly, and it’s also worth noting that I didn’t even have a crush on him. I just wanted a nice guy to like me. Anyway, I decided I would ‘confront’ him about this, so as we were going to class one day, I blurted out his name in the middle of the hallway. When he stopped and looked at me, I immediately panicked and forgot what I was going to say, so I just shouted, “There’s a guy, sleeping on the meat!” (this is an obscure reference to an old YouTube video, in case you’re wondering) He just stared at me for a few seconds and then just said “Oh, no,” before going to class. Sometimes I wonder why he thought I yelled that at him or if he even remembers but I definitely remember

2. In fifth grade, I started taking vocal lessons with a woman from my church. She was a good teacher and she was really nice, but the thing is she had recently graduated from college and was still living with her parents. Her dad ran a comic book shop out of the same house where I had the music lessons, and…well, let me just say that a few of the comics were um. Pretty raunchy. I’m talking LOTS of half-naked ladies and cleavages. So in the same room where I had my vocal lessons, I was surrounded by comic books about sexy female vampires. Also I wasn’t allowed to touch or read any of these books. I’m not confident, but I think this made me more gay. Thanks, Miss Chrissy!

3. Since my mom was a teacher at my school, there were several times I stayed very late after school while my mom got paperwork done in her office. I would use this time to go on the school computers and watch Warrior Cat AMVs, or I would write a bunch of very terrible Invader Zim fanfics on Microsoft Word. Not a big deal, except that it was the SCHOOL computer, meaning that any of the teachers could have accessed the files on these computers at any point and found all the shit I was writing. To this day, I wonder if any school staff ever happened across my fanfics long after I’d left that school, or if they just got buried under everything else in the school database or whatever

4. I had this teacher who loved to split people up into groups for in-class assignments. Her classroom was very small, though, so when we’d have these group assignments, we would be sent to just like…random areas of the school where we could work, and she would occasionally come and check on us. One day, she sent me and my friend group at the time to work in the school kitchen (no lunch ladies were in there, they had already left for the day), and expected us to work efficiently, but since we were all a bunch of giggly middleschoolers we immediately started messing around the second she left the kitchen. The school had a mouse problem, so there were mouse traps everywhere, and I (jokingly) said, “Hey, what if we put a pen in the mouse trap?” One of my friends thought this was a hilarious idea, and she actually did it. The trap make a really loud noise, the pen exploded and ink went all over the counter, and we all just sat in silence for a long time until we decided to just finish our work and go back to class. The next day, someone discovered the pen in the mousetrap, and our principal had to give the whole middle school class a talk about why we don’t mess with mouse traps. No one ever knew it was my friend’s fault, and she never admitted to it.

5. Speaking of broken things: in seventh grade, I used to think it was really funny to make ‘cocktails’ in chemistry beakers. Basically, I would get a beaker from the science room and fill it with bits of paper and markers, essentially making it look like what I thought alcoholic drinks looked like. I would pretend to drink them to make my friends laugh, because I guess none of us had better things to do. One day, while we were doing this, I set the ‘cocktail’ on top of a TV we had in the room, and the beaker slid off of it and shattered on the floor. We all panicked, and I frantically swept it up and disposed of everything before the teacher showed up. But one of my friends was determined that I tell the truth about breaking the beaker, like she brought it up several times throughout that day, but I shut her down each time because I was terrified of getting in trouble. Now, a bit of context for what happened next: my mom was our English teacher, and she had this computer program called ‘Spelling B’ (I think that’s what it was called?) where she would design online spelling tests for us to do. Each test question would be a funny sentence that used whatever the word was, and because she was the one writing the test, she would always find a way to reference things that happened in class as a way of keeping it silly. Anyway, like a day after the beaker incident, I was taking this test when one of the questions included my name, and while I don’t remember what the exact sentence was, it included me breaking a beaker. I assumed my friend had told my mom about the incident, and I got upset but I was like, “Mom hasn’t yelled at me about it yet, I guess it’s not a big deal”. After school, when my mom was driving me home, I turned to her and said, “So…(friend’s name) told you about the beaker thing, huh?” My mom got really quiet, before she said, “What beaker thing?” Turns out the test question was just a silly, fictional scenario my mom came up with, she had no idea I had actually broken a beaker. This is still the wildest coincidence that’s ever happened to me, but my mom never told the science teacher for some reason

[somethinginthethunder]

walks in the rain [tsukishima kei x reader]

Author’s Note: Yes, it is me. I was formerly known as lookuptotheskiesandsee, but decided to have a do-over since I wasn’t really that into the classic rock fandom anymore. Anyway, here’s my very first Haikyuu fic. If I have anything wrong in here, whether it be with grammar or anything else, please tell me! I’m super new to this :’)

Also, this is totally going to flop anyway, but shares and feedback are appreciated! I know this isn’t a totally amazing fic or something that really gets the heart beating. It’s more lowkey and has a more slice-of-life feeling, but I promise this isn’t the best I have hfhihiwqhdowejd.

Word Count: 1,818

Summary: you’ve forgotten your umbrella, so tsukishima offers to walk with you with his own. along the way home, you reminisce about before. 

Warnings?: my trash writing, but none other than that!

---------

The squeaking of shoes and hitting of volleyballs filled the court. You waited patiently beside Yachi and Kiyoko, with the former watching starry-eyed at the group of boys. Smiling fondly, you looked back into the court. 

The team had just finished the last practice set, all of them who participated panting heavily as they celebrated their win (well, half of them, at least). 

Ukai clapped his hands together, getting the attention of the players. 

“Right! Next practice, same thing. Now,” he continued, “I’ll be taking my leave. I’ve got a shift to cover. Besides, it’s getting late. Clean up quick, yeah?”

“Yes, Coach!” some shouted in response, adrenaline still pumping through their veins.

With some last goodbyes, Ukai left the gym. And with that, the cleanup started. 

It had started out normally, all as usual. That was, until the rainclouds pulled in. This wasn’t unusual or anything, but it was inconvenient, of course, since most students walked home from school, including the Kasasuno team. Two volleyballs were in your arms when you stopped to look outside. Turning your head to the rest of the gym, you looked to see just about everything finished up.

“Ah, I can finish up around here this time, guys. You can all get home before the rain starts pouring too hard,” you offered kindly. Sure, you don’t do this everytime, but every once in a while it would be nice to do something for them, since they already work so hard on playing.

Daichi stopped in his tracks for a moment, seemingly surprised at your offer. 

“There’s not much more to do, you really don’t have to,” he said, offering a smile in response.

“I know, but it’ll start raining real soon, and it’s best if you guys get a head start, right?” you explained. “Besides, I know where everything goes, I’ll be fine.”

“Y/n-” 

“It’s fine, Daichi-san. Really, all of you,” you reassured him.

You could see the hesitation in his eyes, but your sure look made him give in. Sighing, with a smile on his face. “Alright. Everyone finish what you’re doing and we’ll go.”

A few minutes later, it seemed everyone had gone home. 

That was until you finished closing. 

Once you locked the doors you turned your head only to see Tsukishima standing there, his headphones on and leaning against the wall.

“Tsukki, what are you doing? The rain’s already started,” you murmured, slinging your bag across your shoulder.

He took off his headphonse and tilted his head toward you. “You think I haven’t noticed? Knowing you, you probably forgot your umbrella today.”

“I-” your cheeks flushed at the statement. He was right, actually. 

Of course he was.

At this he began to chuckle, with that goddamn smirk on his face. It was embarrassing, really, and Tsukishima knew that. Turning his gaze away from you, he opened his umbrella and started to walk off. For a moment, you stared after him, your cheeks hot and chest tightening.

When he realized you weren’t following, he looked back at you with an expectant look on his face.

“Well? Are you coming? Or would you rather walk in the rain to get home? ‘Cause I’ll leave you here,” he questioned teasingly.

You perked at his statement. “H-Hey! That wouldn’t be very nice, now would it?” you objected, running after him.

“And you take me as the nice guy?”

“Not the point!” you pouted, standing by his side as the rain hit the umbrella. The height difference was nice, especially since it was an excuse to have someone else hold the umbrella instead of you. Especially if it was Tsukki. 

Besides Yamaguchi, you were probably the only one who he’d consider a close friend (though he’d never admit it). You were neighbors, but only became friends in middleschool. At first, you had thought of the blonde as just a mean kid, but as you got to know him, you realized that he was actually… really cool. 

In fact, you even began to develop feelings for him.

Though, you had never said it out loud. That would’ve made it too real. You didn’t want that. He was your friend, nothing else. There was no way he could feel the same, right? He treated you just like everyone else.

Except he didn’t. And everyone but you seemed to see that. By this time, the whole team saw how you pined for each other (though it took Hinata and Kageyama a little longer to notice). And it was frustrating to the whole team. 

“Oi, why’re you so quiet all of a sudden?” 

His voice snapped you out of your trance. You blinked up at him.

“No reason. Why?” you questioned, stopping at the crosswalk to wait for the cars to finish passing.

“You usually talk too much for your own good. What, are you finally using that brain of yours to think?” he said, his gaze flickering to you for just a fraction of a second before he started walking across the street.

Considering he took long strides because of his taller stature, you had to jog to get back next to him while answering.

“Hey, maybe I’m not as smart as you, but at least I’m smarter than Hinata and Kageyama!” you whined.

He scoffed at your reasoning. “That’s not saying much. Even if they were combined.”

You paused for a moment before bursting into a laugh, patting his back. “You’re so mean, Tsukki! They’re just too enticed with volleyball, is all.”

Your words seemed to make him grimace a little. As your laughs died down you finally answered him properly.

“Just thinking about us when we were in middleschool,” you murmured, watching your breath show up in the air.

“Middleschool?” he questioned, shoving his other hand in his pocket at the mention of it.

“Mm!” you confirmed. “I used to think you were just this salty, mean guy. I mean, you still are,” you laughed. “But there’s way more to you now, I know.”

“Oh?” Tsukki said, trying to hide the real curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah,” you nodded. Looking up at what parts you could see of the sky, you continued. “When we were just neighbors and classmates, I found you really intimidating. Not just because of your height, but how you handled things. You were smart, yeah, a little snarky, but also a bit rude. I never thought I’d be friends with you, or that you’d want to… be friends with me.’

This didn’t change his pace or his face. The both of you kept walking.

“But when I saw you making fun of Yamaguchi’s bullies, it completely crushed the idea of you that I thought was right. And when we started hanging out, I finally saw you.”

You had missed it, but his face began to change. 

“You’re real. You’re really intelligent, really nice, though I know you won’t believe, and really talented, too. I know you’re afraid to show passion for something that might crush you in the end, but I think you’ve got great potential. You’ve just changed so much from the first time I’ve seen you, but I know that’s only on the outside. I know, though, that the boy from before is still in there.” A pause. “But if I were to describe you with one word, it would be…”

You turned to face him, finally making eye contact with the tall blonde.

“Cool.”

His eyes widened at your words. You hadn’t expected him to react in any way, so his surprise made you think back on your words.

“Ah, sorry, sorry!” you apologized, bringing your hands up. “I know you don’t like that kind of thing, but… I just thought you should know.” 

Again, the heat began to rise in your cheeks. Way to go, Y/n. 

He didn’t respond, just staring you down with his cold eyes. Yet, they didn’t seem to hold the same emotion as they usually did. Perhaps you were just imagining it.

“Tch,” was all he said before he continued walking, facing forward once more. 

There wasn’t any conversation after that. When you both arrived at your home, you turned and thanked him.

“Thanks for walking me, Tsukki. You didn’t have to,” you acknowledged gratefully. 

“I know,” he nodded back.

There was a tense moment of silence before you turned, coughing awkwardly as you walked up the steps to your door.

“Oi, Y/n.”

Surprised, you turned your head to look at your friend.

His mouth was parted, as if he were hesitating.

“...yes?” you asked curiously, hand resting on the doorframe.

“Let’s go somewhere after school tomorrow,” he managed nonchalantly.

“Like- Like a hangout?” you murmured, wondering if this was what you hoped it would be.

“No,” he answered. “Like a date.”

It felt like your heart leaped out of your chest. All you could feel in that moment was shock. Him? Tsukishima Kei? Wanted to go on a date with you? Even after that whole awkward walk? And the past, like, five or four years you’ve known him?

“Are you sure?” you asked, dumbstruck.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” he said, supposedly annoyed. “I happen to like you, and you happen to like me. That is, unless I’ve been wrong this whole time?”

Oh.

OH.

OH?

He knew this entire time?!

Confusion passed through your mind momentarily before you hastily answered, “No, no! You’re right! I just-- I wasn’t expecting this, so,” you stopped yourself from saying anything that could ruin this moment. “Yeah. Let’s go somewhere.”

“Good. Wait for me when school ends. I already have a place picked out,” he stated. If you listened closely, you could hear how nervous he actually was and how fast his heart was beating. He hadn’t been this nervous before in a long time.

“O-Okay,” you stuttered, unsure of what to say.

It seemed as though he didn’t either, because he left soon after with just a nod as a goodbye. In reality, he probably would’ve talked to you more if he weren’t so nervous. Could you imagine that? Tsukishima nervous because of you?

Staring at his form walking away from your house, you stood there, stunned. A date. With him. Tomorrow. It seemed almost impossible that this was real.

Once he turned the corner and left your neighborhood, you rushed inside, suddenly remembering how cold it was out there.

“Oh, Y/n,” your mother called from the kitchen. “Can you pick up some groceries on your way back from school for me since it’s already on your way back?”

You were about to accept when you remembered what you had just agreed on.

“I can’t,” you answered.

“Huh?” she called. “And why is that?”

A grin broke out on your face, your fists clenching as the reality of the situation took hold. Honestly, you felt like screaming your excitement into a pillow.

“I have a date!”

[famousclowngardener]

Story time

When I was in 5th grade all the kids were into dating. The idea was new and exciting and middleschool was just next year.

So everyone's favorite questiom was "who do you have a crush on?" And the issue with me is that I'm demisexual leaning closer to asexual.

Of course I didn't know this when I was 10. Hell I still went by She/Her back then. So when people asked me this question and I would say "nobody" they didn't get it.

They'd go on with "then who do you think is cute?" And once more I'd just say "....nobody"

Basically people would respond two ways

Ooh a secret. I'll figure it out

I thought we were friends? But I guess not if you won't tell me your crush!

This was stressful. Lots of people I thought were friends would just get mad at me. I never asked to know who their "crush" was.

So to avoid said stress and decided to lie. I thought about all the boys I had in my class and picked the one who I decided seemed the least interested in me.

A boy I'll call Justin Time (cause he was my saving grace in this crazy time)

And after that people stopped getting mad. They would just giggle and shush eachothrr when he was around. They'd do little heart shapes with their hands as if saying "I know you like him" and I of course would just giggle back playing along with this little lie I came up with.

Now... the issue with lies... they can backfire.

One day. Another boy Dylan Doom, a friend of Justin Time came up to me and told me that Justin liked me back. And I should go talk to him. I panicked. Really badly. I laughed and said "wow, I never thought he would" and Dylan got very excited.

So as I walked away from Dylan I just sat down at my desk and never brought it up with Justin.

I feel bad.. like oops poor kid. Kinda like just left him there wondering why I didn't say anything. But I'm sure he's glad he never "dated" me. But truly.. I doubt he even remembers this little crush. I also have a feeling it was all made up by Dylan.

I still talked to Justin a few times after. We went to the library once to read comics.

I never actually talked to him after. He started taking weed and I had severe depression.

Life is crazy sometimes. Truly.

[nyomjoon]

why Kou is the best character in Ao Haru Ride

Why Kou is the best character in Ao Haru Ride & the most deserving of a fangirl club

to preface, the main girl (futaba) and main guy (kou) had crushes on each other in middle school, which would’ve progressed when kou invited her out to see her at a place near a clock. however, kou did not show up because one of their classmates questioned futaba on whether she fancied kou, and she was extremely introverted and replied that she hated boys - which she did. but, she had felt differently for kou since he was more gentle and less brutish than the other guys who were really the epitome of pubescent boys. so i see the appeal to kou. upon hearing this, kou decided not to show up in fear that she would not reciprocate his feelings. alas, she was left waiting in the cold for most of the night, and would not hear from him till highschool because he moved away due to his parents’ divorce. he also changes his last name from tanaka to mabuchi (this is significant). 

edit: it has been brought to my attention that kou hadn’t shown up bc it was his parents divorce that day. i might’ve missed this detail but i assume when he tells futaba it’s not at the beginning so rlly mayb it’s another element to the ~character development~

I

When reminiscing, i only remember Kou to be the nonchalant, token tsundere, yeah he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. and upon surface level i found it to be so annoying, because he was the guy who left futaba out of his own fear. she was owed an explanation because despite it being middleschool, i too, would’ve been traumatised if the boy i liked had stood me up and not to mention leave school without a word to any of this classmates. i can side with futaba because i am also an introvert and it plucks a lot of courage to be able to ask someone out in the first place. however, that being said - being an asshole straight off the bat can only mean that there’s room or character development which to my little 12 year old self - failed to realise. 

II

when kou moved middle schools, he struggled to find his group of friends, which in hindsight would probably be difficult for anyone who was going through what he had - his parents splitting. however, he meets ms. narumi, who initially we are grateful that she was able to help kou break out of his shell and develop friendships at school albeit he wasn’t besties with anyone. despite this, i will never forgive what she does later. as i’ve mentioned earlier, when kou enters highschool he becomes an asshole. this is because he experiences his mother dying and as anyone would be, he became bitter. he was more closed off than before and upon this revelation, we begin to sympathise for kou. because losing a loved one is as depressing as it comes and we begin to understand that with his parents divorce there was no one else there for his mother except for him. his older brother, given the split, had stayed with his father and so to satisfy his mother kou spent all his middle school years studying, with a realisation too late that he had made no better memories with his late mother. 

consequent to his loss, we accept that his “asshole” personality is justified and he had become a man full of regret. during highschool, he moved back in with his father however, avoided spending time with his family at all costs. he’s revealed to be hanging around a group of friends to merely ‘waste time’ and really, he doesn’t enjoy anything in life. yet, ms. futaba, is persistent in nature and still has feelings for him so attempts to develop a friendship because of their previous relationship. much to his dismay, he still harbours remnants of his crush for her, however, he cannot and refuses to acknowledge it - he does this by not saying it aloud but he’s written her name in a notebook and despite the knowledge of its existence he does not tear or throw it away. 

III

as futaba and kou’s relationship develop even further - she convinces him to stop seeing the friends and instead he has better friends at school who are all in this event committee or something like that. however, as the story progresses, narumi comes back and asks kou to help her because shes moved to the same town and has also experienced the death of a parent - which also happened after her parents divorced. knowing what that feels like, he felt obligated to help her out. i’m not sure if he intended to be an anchor for her, but this situation turned out to be very manipulative - because narumi was purposefully trying to hold down kou and drag him away from his character development, because as you would assume, futaba & co. are the steps towards moving on from his bitterness, regret and anger, and narumi tries her best to pull him away from it which inherently just inhibited his growth. 

kou isn’t aware of this manipulation, because despite being an asshole prior he sympathises with narumi - which, really shows how kind hearted he is. he goes even further with his generosity by rejecting futaba, because even if they had dated, he still could not leave narumi because he felt as it was his duty to help her overcome her own adversities, which would’ve made futaba uncomfortable. it was/is in fact not his duty to help her overcome her trauma because as we all know it’s part of her own journey, and by helping her, he is still being tied to the past and he himself cannot overcome his trauma. 

IV

because he had rejected futaba, she decides to move on and although it does not happen immediately, she starts dating this other guy who in my opinion (which is completely objective btw) is so pushy and forward and he’s just a rat. because she starts to date this dude, kou realises that he still likes her, and depsite seeing them together he is unable to move on, or get rid of his feelings for her. now normally, this would be a bit problematic, however, because i hated kikuchi (futaba’s new bf) i don’t care. so, what i enjoyed about this particular bit of his transformation is that he was able to preserve the good things of his childhood which was fundamentally, memories of futaba and the times he spent with her. so when kou has his final talk with narumi - he lets himself out of that toxic environment, which is probably step five of his character development. and he goes back to the town he lived in when his mum died. he takes futaba with him to override the horrible memories that he had made - ones that reminded him of his parents divorce and his mum’s death. his logic behind this method was because when he was in the infirmary he was able to overcome his hate of the disinfectant smell because he was with futaba. 

he also reconciled with his mother’s passing by visiting her grave and letting her know that he is finally able to move on. 

another bit i wanted to mention, because it was so chivalrous of kou - basically, futaba got mugged and her bag had a strap that meant a lot to her. and so she tried chasing him, however, she got lost because she kicked the guy in the face and tried to run away. eventually, kou found her and she was really shocked and she actually had a fever so he had to carry her all the way to her hotel room. and then she mentioned that she lost her bag and really needed it. so, he left the hotel room and retrieved it and during his absence was when all the friends gathered in her room. when he comes back, he’s found the bag and throws it at her boyfriend which is funny because it shows how useless the boyfriend is lol. 

V

after this, he does not give up trying to chase after futaba, because she’s been such a pivotal element to his life - which we can all see. his hard work does not go in vain, they do end up together which is very pleasing. but the final bit to his reform is his last name change. as you can imagine, the initial change from tanaka to mabuchi was probably something that was traumatic but then when he changes it back to tanaka he’s able to move on from his bitterness from his mother’s death. not to mention, he was very adamant on futaba to stop calling him tanaka but its pretty significant that he was able to overcome his personal struggles. 

im too hungry so i can’t think anymore, if any of u read the manga add to the list!!1!!!111!!!!!

[firelxdykatara]

The "Aang is younger than Katara" complaint is total bullshit. Don't u know relationships involving guys with older girls isn't weird? I've had relationships with older girls, Shakespeare's wife was 4 years older than him, and Padme Amidala was a whopping 5 years older than Anakin Skywalker. Katara is a person who doesn't think age and looks matters, it's all about the developing feelings when it comes to Aang. Remember that.

God, what is with you people lately?

The problem isn’t that Aang is younger than Katara. The age gap is the same, in terms of pure length of time, as the one between Katara and Zuko, with which I obviously have no issue. (And, before anyone else comes at me, while I personally think it’s an added element to the ship that makes it weird for me personally, I don’t care if anyone else ships Kataang, and Aang’s age is pretty far down on the list of reasons why I do not like his romantic relationship with Katara.) But the fact is that Aang isn’t even a teenager yet. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet.

He is a prepubescent child. He’s the equivalent of a seventh-grader, while Katara would be a high school freshman, and speaking as someone who used to be a high school girl, I found it a whole hell of a lot more weird and kinda icky when anyone in my grade was interested in a middleschooler, than another high school-aged kid. When I was a Freshman, I saw middleschoolers as babies--when I was a Junior, I thought Freshman were hit or miss on maturity, but plenty of them seemed to have grown out of the baby-ish middleschool mindsets I was So Far Beyond.

Furthermore, Aang and Katara had radically different childhoods and life experiences. Aang never knew war and hardship until he came out of the ice. Katara grew up during a time of war, and lost her mother at such a young age that she couldn’t really deal with it until she was much older, because she almost instantly felt like she needed to step into the empty space her mother left behind. She was forced to grow up far too quickly, and Aang didn’t have to grow up at all until he suddenly woke up in a world at war. And that is not to downplay the trauma he felt of suddenly waking up to find his entire people and culture dead and gone and nearly forgotten--but he was still very much a child in a way that Katara was not, and, in fact, in a way that caused Katara to treat him like he was her own.

Whether or not you find anything weird about their specific age gap, the fact remains that Katara acted in a very motherly fashion towards Aang for 90% of the show--to the point where it’s heavily lampshaded in book 3, especially in an episode where she pretends to be his literal mother. One of the most powerful shots of the entire series is Katara holding Aang in the famous Pieta pose, one of the most recognizable depictions of motherly love in the world. (If Kataang was really ‘in the DNA of the show’ and endgame from the start, you’d think they would’ve toned down on the mother/son vibes just a little.)

However, I will say that you’ve kind of hit on something which is far more prominent on my list of reasons why I Do Not Ship kataang and never have: ‘it’s all about the developing feelings when it comes to Aang.’ When it comes to Aang. Because Katara’s feelings are never once considered, elaborated on, or developed. Because there are maybe three separate instances in the show that you can point at and say ‘see! she feels it too!’ except that after each of these moments their relationship goes right back to the status quo, and there’s never any indication that her feelings have changed or grown in any way. Because he kissed her without her consent twice--the first time, she looked away and frowned (which was an alteration mandated by Bryke--Giancarlo Volpe originally had her smiling, because he thought, reasonably, that it would be a good way to show Katara’s feelings for Aang if she looked visibly happy with the kiss), looking distinctly unhappy, and then she seemed to completely forget about it until Aang brought it up right before the second kiss, after which she was angry. And that was the last one-on-one scene they had before Katara was making out with him on the balcony--the realization that she actually had romantic feelings for him and the resolution of her confusion and anger towards their last kiss??? all of it happened entirely off-screen, just so the prepubescent child could get his Big Damn Kiss.

Katara’s feelings simply do not matter to Kataang’s development in the show. Aang loved her, Aang refused to give up his attachment to her, and Aang saved the day and ‘won’, so he got her. And that is far more worrisome than the fact that he was two years younger than his crush.

[barzum-and-baizli]

1,2,3,4?

1) I’m aroace and agender. he/him are my pronouns.

2 and 4) It took me so fucking long. I have probably thought i was every letter anyone has ever put in the acronym before finally settling. I first thought I was a lesbian in middleschool because I mentioned I had never had a crush on any boys and a girl I was friends with said that meant I was a lesbian so I identified as that for a while.

When I went to highschool, I sort of realized I felt the same for everyone, so I started identifying as “demisexual”(which…. i thought meant what pansexual means because someone i met at camp ided as demi-pansexual and i got them mixed up LMFAOOOO).

After that, I stopped thinking about my sexuality and kinda just was like “no i’m cishet” because I was in a really shitty position surrounded by a bunch of “ironic” lgbtphobia.

Then I learned about asexuality on a forum my friend at the time ran. She immediately started mocking and laughing at the person who was asexual in the mod chat and talking about how it was fake, how it was a disorder, and how people were so stupid that they can’t realized how fucked up they are and shit. 

Despite her reaction, I started considering that was what I was. But I also started iding as a lesbian again, instead of aromantic or just asexual, because I didn’t want to be “completely fucked up” in my own words because of her reaction to it.

This was also around the time I first tried to come out to someone. It was to her. We were getting lunch together and I only subtly hinted at my orientation and she immediately started mocking me and telling me I should ask a doctor about it. That was when I stopped iding as asexual again and kind of forced myself into a few bad situations online to try and “help fix” myself. Don’t force yourself into sexual situations, kids.

After a while, I stopped talking to the people who where this toxic and left the school club I was in that was filled with them. A few months before I left, I started IDing as a lesbian again, not asexual this time. Once I was finally out, I started questioning my gender. The first thing I Ided as was agender, but I was kind of still “testing the waters” with it and still used she/her pronouns and didn’t tell anyone about it for several years. I also started IDing as demisexual again(I had the right definition this time) because I still considered asexuality to be “fucked up”.

After a little while, and one of my new friends mentioning asexuality in a positive light, I started IDing as asexual again, and mentioning it to them. That was the first time I ever heard someone say something positive about asexuality. I was still iding as a lesbian at this time.A couple years passed, and I slowly started Iding as a biromantic asexual because I felt the same for men and women and was still terrified of being aro/ace and fucking ace discourse was picking up which definitely contributed to this lmfaoooooo. There’s a very specific kind of dread that comes with never having seen any positive mention of your sexuality, being given one sliver of hope, then being thrust back into the cold hard reality that even the people you hoped would understand fucking hate you that definitely can cause you to misidentify. I also started using he/she/they pronouns at this time, still IDing as agender. I call this the “natter” phase because this was when fucking natter was popular.

Anyways, after that, I slowly started Iding as A trans man for a while because I realized a lot of my body and social issues were SEVERE GENDER DYSPHORIA(transmeds fuck off that’s not what made me trans. I knew I was NB before I realized how bad my dysphoria was) lmaooooo. I came out as one to my dad, picked a name, etc etc etc. All of THAT stuck, I’m still going by the same name, pronouns, etc. For a while then, I also started considering myself aromantic and gay. because I was okay with sex and for some reason, aromanticism felt ‘safer’ than asexuality.

Then finally, started IDing as Agender again, still transmasc, he/him pronouns, still on T, still ‘medically transitioning’. Plus, I pulled my head out of my ass and stopped trying to label my sexuality on what I think is ‘less fucked up’ and actually label my actual orientation.

I still definitely struggle severely with hating my sexuality. My nervous system and cardiovascular system make sure that whenever its even mentioned my heartrate spikes and chest physically hurts and it doesn’t appear to plan on getting better any time soon. So that’s that. But at least I’m not trying to put a bandaid on feeling fucked up anymore.

tl;dr: I ided as everything but aro/ace for a long time because I thought aro/ace was bad and broken and fucked up because i first learned about it through someone calling someone who ided as aro/ace as bad and broken and fucked up.

3) This is kind of a short one after that massive fucking rant but I get misgendered a lot and usually I just fucking ignore it lmao