#actually bothering you instead of coming for one of many people who simply were like uhh this dude’s shit doesn’t sit right with me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prdx-invdr · 10 months ago

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୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.

SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?

PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k

WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread

NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism

you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.

currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.

“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.

“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.

however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.

now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.

“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.

when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.

you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.

shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.

“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.

“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.

“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.

“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.

“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”

besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.

“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.

“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”

“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.

“nah,” wonbin replies, ��not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”

“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.

“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.

“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.

“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.

“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.

“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.

“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.

“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.

a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.

“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”

“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.

“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.

“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”

you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.

“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”

“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”

wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”

sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.

“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.

wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”

you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.

of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.

“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.

“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.

somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.

that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.

“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.

sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.

“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?

still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.

“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”

you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.

looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.

you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.

when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.

judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.

you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.

you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.

you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.

she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?

you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake

your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?

you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw

exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.

[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin

[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake

you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.

[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u

[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy

you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.

you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.

wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”

before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.

“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”

you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.

“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”

“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“

the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.

wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.

the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.

“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.

“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.

“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.

“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.

you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.

“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.

you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.

unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.

“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.

“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”

anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.

“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”

seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.

you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.

you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.

ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.

what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?

had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.

and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.

you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.

[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??

[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey

[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)

you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.

[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing

[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol

[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)

[10:51 AM] you: pass

[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!

you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.

when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.

“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.

“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.

“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”

you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.

anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”

your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“

“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”

“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.

“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”

you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.

“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.

you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”

friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.

“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”

“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.

“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.

“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.

“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”

you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.

“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.

“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.

“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”

the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”

he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”

“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.

he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”

“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”

“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”

you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.

“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”

“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.

“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.

wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.

“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.

shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”

wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”

you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.

you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.

and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.

“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.

“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”

you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.

“i like you so much.”

you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.

“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”

he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”

he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.

he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.

“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.

you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”

it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.

wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.

you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.

“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.

when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”

he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.

“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”

when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”

“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”

anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.

before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.

you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.

as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.

“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.

wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”

eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.

“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”

you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.

“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.

as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.

“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr

#riize #riize x reader #riize au #park wonbin #wonbin imagines #wonbin x reader #riize wonbin #riize scenarios #riize imagines #riize fluff #riize angst #park wonbin x reader

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watercurtaincave · 1 year ago

Note

Sun wukong dating headcanons? ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

𖤓 !! — I [love] you like the sun! Sun Wukong (LMK) / reader

𖤓 !! — For as long as you knew Wukong, there has been this odd constant about him; and it wasn't the fact that he took everything, seemingly, at face value and joked about a lot of what he was doing (whether he knew what he was doing or not). No, that was just something you come to accept of Wukong, it was the fact that he hated to be alone. For as much as he puts up a front, deeming he is okay alone and he doesn't need anyone by his side, you knew the opposite was true. It always had been; Wukong just wasn't one who could talk about his emotions in a proper manner, and you guessed it was due to the fact he had so many apologies he could not give.

𖤓 !! — Or maybe they were apologies he just can't give due to his own stubbornness and pride, either way for as much as he hated being alone you also knew Wukong hated hurting his friends. Despite the fact that he tends to do it a lot without realizing it. Time and time again he will just get so absorbed within himself, within trying to correct a problem (he most likely caused) and trying to protect his friends that he ends up hurting everyone else instead. From the brotherhood to his student, Wukong has never learnt how to talk to people. Nevertheless, you would suspect he has a habit of thinking if he where to tell people how he was actually feeling they would think different of him; possibly less, possibly weaker.

𖤓 !! — Oh, for how much you love Wukong he always seemed to burn everyone next to him. That's why you have to take a little extra care of his heart, and of him. For despite how long you know him, it'll take a hot minute before he realizes that he's as stuck with you and you're stuck with him.

𖤓 !! — No literally, you're both stuck with each other and there's no getting out of it.

𖤓 !! — You were first introduced to Wukong through the whole godly latter, that and by what MK, Mei, Tang, Chang'e and Ne Zha has told you about the proclaimed Great Sage, Equal to Heaven. You may or may not have spoken to Macaque once or twice as well before you ever met MK's mentor, which really stuck wrong with you at first. If you were meeting one of this "Great Sage's" enemies before you met the "Great Sage" himself, then what did that say about the "Equal to Heaven", huh? That he couldn't be bothered to be around to protect MK? That he's too lazy sleeping somewhere on a fluffy cloud to get up and kick his emo cousin's ass? Yeah, you had been really bitter towards Wukong at first. Even stand-offish when you first met him.

𖤓 !! — Even more creeped out when he used to stare at you for no reason, holding this odd look in his eyes. You had a feeling he wanted to say something, something that seemed to really bug him because even MK pointed out how weird his staring habit was. But he never did. He always kind of bit his tongue and tried to stay his distance from you.

𖤓 !! — You kind of noticed that rather quickly. I mean, how could you not notice when Sun Wukong would dance around MK and Mei to get away from you whenever you walked over. Or how he suddenly went quiet, like he was trying to disappear, when you pipped in on a conversation. Or the way he would actually disappear whenever when you came by and make up some awkward excuse like he left the stove on at home or he needed to feed his pet bird.

𖤓 !! — "I don't even think he has a pet bird.." MK mumbled at that one, not having noticed that you had just walked into Pigsy's until you sat down next to Tang; Who greeted you accordingly with a smile. You simply smiled and nodded back. "Yeah, well what do you expect from a two-timin' schemer who always just happens to disappear when someone comes in." Pigsy commented, shooting his eyes towards you with a cock of his eyebrow. You couldn't help but give in an unamused look, MK and Mei quickly giving you very esthetic hellos. Yet they soon hushed as you shook your head, "If you're saying I had anything to do with the 'Great Sage' suddenly getting cold feet whenever I come by, I don't know what that's about-" "Yeah!" MK suddenly appeared at your side, Mei in tow, "Before we introduced them, the Monkey King said he never has met them before. I just think it's some weird god stuff, that or maybe he's always just conveniently busy when you come around." And with that MK shrugged, giving the group a small smile. "Yeah, no, I think there's more to it." Tang mumbled between slurping his noodles.

𖤓 !! — Yeah, no, I think there's more to it. Why did those words stick in your head? Yeah, no, I think there's more to it. What more could be to Monkey King, Great Sage, Equal to Heaven, have to avoiding you like you were a plague other than him just not liking you for whatever reason? I mean, you've heard all the stories that MK and Tang have dug up about the Monkey King and nothing really ever struck a cord in you. You've listened to them gush about this great hero, a powerful demon that has revealed and bested so many, and none of that gave off the energy that Wukong did when he was around you. So what is his deal?

𖤓 !! — Later that week, after a tired shift of serving costumers, you didn't have the energy to do much other than slug your way back to Pigsy's; And you couldn't help but half-pray to anyone that Wukong was there. "And then I was like!-" And yet you instantly knew the gods were not on your side that day when you heard the Monkey King himself boosting about another fight he conquered. Yet, by the sounds of it, this was an older fight. Not that you were surprised in any way, that was just how the Monkey king seemed to be. He would use voice-sound effects, as well as big dramatic motions, to show how he defeated whichever enemy he was fighting in his tale. All the while, you managed to slip into the shop and quietly sit next to an overly excited Tang (as MK and Mei were sitting front row to hear the story). Yet, just as Wukong was about to get to the climax his eyes met yours and he faltered; His mouth went dry as his whole dramatic disposition came to an abrupt halt. You swore it he looked at you like he saw a ghost, and something about this surely ticked you off. After a day of serving rude costumers and frantic mothers with missing kids, you were about two seconds from smashing Wukong's face into the table.

𖤓 !! — "What? Why do you always look at me like that?" You would retort to the Monkey King with a scrunch of your nose, folding your arms firmly across your chest. Despite the disappointment from Mei and MK seconds before, as Wukong had stopped his dramatic retelling, they paused upon hearing your voice and turned around. You were sure they now understood why Wukong had stopped so suddenly. "I don't look at you like anything," Wukong instantly tried to deny, throwing out a 'pshh' from his mouth and a dismissive wave to drive his claim. Though he turned his back towards you to check the fake watch on his wrist, "Oh, well you look at the time! My cat must be so lonely-" You were tired of his dodging act, "I thought it was a bird." "Well a king can't have too many animals!- pets?" Wukong shot back almost instantly and you swore you could see some sweat rolling down his hidden face. He rubbed the back of his head, keeping his eyes on everything but you. "Yeah, uh-huh, because all your pets looks so real when I went to your little cave of a home with MK that one day to babysit." You would cock an eyebrow up at Wukong, watching as he stiffened in place. You were sure he was glaring daggers at the ground, maybe even thinking of escaping with his fancy god-like magic, "Yeah, uh-huh, as I thought. You have no pets do you, Great Sage? So, do you mind telling me why you've been avoiding me?"

𖤓 !! — For as long as you knew Wukong, you never realized how long you had actually known him for. Centuries of memories you could no longer recall, countless lives that you never knew you experienced, and it all seemed such an artificial answer when it came from Wukong. It felt like another outlandish tale of half-truths he was feeding to you to keep some sort of peace. But it wasn't:

𖤓 !! — At the start of it all, you had been a goddess (immortal like the rest). You hadn't been anyone important, no one that the mortals would remember anyways, you were simply one of the maidens that picked the immortality peaches in the orchard. You had been one of the few immortals who caught Wukong as he stole a peach, and oddly enough (from his recounting) you had let him go. Which made him curious about you. All too curious for his own good. You both would spend evenings and nights in each other's company upon any private setting you could find. In the orchard, in a garden that was rarely occupied, in your own room even. You both talked about everything and nothing, spent evenings somethings just laying and enjoying each other's company. Yet you could not leave the Celestial Realm, you were not on the approved list to do so. And yet when Wukong had left his post to return to his kingdom he still made the dangerous journey to come see you. He tried to convince you to come down with him many times, to come see the mountain of flower and fruits with your own eyes. Even when you told him no, he continued to come back. Until one day he just decided to kidnap you entirely.

𖤓 !! — It wasn't a bad kidnapping, one more like you were about to face sever punishment for associating with the Monkey King despite the status you held among the immortals. He proclaimed he was your hero as Wukong explained how he busted into the room, sweeping you off your feet and escaping the guards that had been sent to capture the two of you. Though it had been the worst mistake of his life.

𖤓 !! — What he hadn't known at the time, what you hadn't know either, was that the Jade Emperor had cursed you upon your assignment to the Peach orchard. If you were ever to escape the confines of the Celestial Realm, if you were to ever eat any of the peaches unauthorized, your divinity would be stripped away as punishment. You would have basically fell from heaven, becoming a mortal, if Wukong hadn't been holding (kidnapped) you during the decent down. And the way he described the anguish you had gone through while losing your divinity, despite having explaining this while sitting on a wooden table in a small and cramp noodle shop, made some sort of shiver rush up your spine. He couldn't even look up at you, this time out of pure guilt, as he explained it all; "I watched as your divinity was stripped from you, balled up at your chest before shooting up towards the Celestial Realm. I heard the Jade Emperor's laughter, his maniatic laughter and dammit-" Wukong punched the table, and you were surprised he didn't break it with the force he had used, "-All I wanted to do was go up there and beat his ass for being so cruel to you; for making you endure so much pain..." And something inside of you told you, like it was some sort of faint whisper, that Wukong was tormented by the thoughts of your screams until this day. That no matter what he has gone through or what he will go through, your screams will be the one thing that truly shakes him to his core.

𖤓 !! — "Ever since that day everything felt like some corny mortal and immortal love story that's written about now-a-days." Wukong would explain as his eyebrows frowned together, "When you first died it hurt so much, I was tempted to go up to the Jade Emperor himself and force him to take my immortality to be with you. "I debated on that for years actually, yet none of my old friends would let me near the Celestial Realm. And so I kind of sat and waited, I didn't know what to do with myself and it felt like I was always going to miss a part of me forever. Corny for the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven, I know!" Wukong smiled, trying to lighten the mood with his usual antics. Yet he flattened, "But.. it really felt like it. "Until I was on a mission one day and I saw you again and you didn't know me, and I knew you didn't, but you drew me in all the same and well I fell in love with you all over again. And you fell in love with me and that cycle kind of repeated itself..."

𖤓 !! — Wukong paused, a small frown grew on his lips. He seemed hesitant to continue his train of thought yet he took in a deep breath and let it go. "Well, until you told me to stop with this mad chase. You had found all of past life you's memorabilia and pictures in that big closet of important things I own... and you told me to move on. "And you told me if I ever find you again in the future to not pursue a relationship with you because. . . well you didn't want to see me hurt."

𖤓 !! — But after all these lives, after all the time you have known Wukong, you should have known better that he couldn't keep his mind from you no matter how hard he tried. He hated being alone as much as he hated this horrible cycle he's put you through, yet still in every life he has chosen you above everyone else. He continued to choose you and you continued to choose him.

𖤓 !! — And, hey, that has to mean something. . . right?

Home | Masterlist | Series Master list 𖤓 !! — all writing in this page belongs to @watercurtaincaves, please do not repost on other sites, plagiarize, or steal. Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

#lmk x reader #sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x y/n #lmk sun wukong x reader #wukong x reader #sun wukong #sun wokung #lmk #wukong #lmk swk #lmk sun wukong #lmk mk #monkie kid #lmk mei #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk x y/n

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actingwithportals · 1 year ago

Text

I wish more people understood that not every blind person is the exact same and we do not all need the same things and also the circumstances under how you were raised and when your blindness occurred and how involved you were in a blind community all play parts into what accessibility needs you will have.

Like. I was born legally blind. My vision has been for the most part stable my whole life, and it is likely to not change (unless normal worsening with age). I was raised in a family full of sighted people and all of my friends and members of my community were sighted people. I did not start meeting other blind people and joining blind communities until my early teenage years. This shaped me in such a way that I never learned Braille until I started teaching myself when I got older, did not learn to use a cane until I started attending blind camps as a teen, did not know I had an option of asking for accessibility with videos or images or menus or shopping or cooking or ANYTHING until I met other blind people who made it clear to me that there was a way I could exist with independence as a blind person and didn't have to just. miss out on life that I couldn't see.

So a vast majority of the way I taught myself to get by is very different from someone who spent a lot more of their early years around other blind people. But I also picked up a great deal of "normal" blind accessibility tricks from my teen years of involving myself with more blind communities that other blind folks who never involve themselves in blind communities are aware of or find useful.

My vision teacher as a kid showed me JAWS and explained what it was, but never really bothered to teach me to use it because ZoomText she decided was better for me. So I grew up to use screen magnifiers and not screenreaders. She didn't teach me Braille because she could get ahold of large print books, and when she couldn't she would find me a vast array of magnifiers to use. Ones with lights, ones in different shapes, some that were actual screen devices while others were simply glass. She didn't teach me how to use a cane and instead got me monoculars and bioptics, even though those actually...were not very easily usable to me. I had to teach myself how to use a cane after my first year of camp where I was gifted one, and later expanded upon learning when I finally took Orientation and Mobility training my year before moving out to college. I wouldn't start learning Braille until around the same time when I was given a Brailler by the specific state agency that provided assistive devices to blind students during high school and college.

So now, as an adult, what I find useful is reading text on a screen so that I can adjust my own contrast and magnification, I use a cane when walking around on my own outside of my home or other familiar areas, I use Braille on my keyboard and around on my household appliances so that I don't have to bend over or squint to attempt to read any settings or buttons or keys. A different blind person who grew up with different circumstances will have a very different list of assistive technology that is useful to them. Some will hate magnifiers and prefer audiobooks. Some would rather read Braille. Some will use puff paint or color-coding for household appliances or items like on clothing tags or toothbrushes. Some will use bioptics or monoculars when going to the theater instead of sitting close to the screen, or they might do both, or neither and will just listen. Some will use canes, some will use service dogs, some will use neither, or might prefer a sighted guide.

There are...so many ways a blind person might choose to make their life accessible. And we do not always agree with each other on what is best, because we do not all have the same eyes. Nor do we have the same ears, or hands, or feet. We are varied and complex and we disagree sometimes and come together other times and we discuss amongst ourselves on how to make things better for our community and we confer with other communities on how we help ourselves and help each other. We are not all the same. We are not all the same. We are not all the same.

If you want an answer for what is the One Agreeable accessibility feature for blind people: there isn't one. So just talk to us, instead. Get to know how we vary, how we relate, how you can best help one of us and how you might best help another. I'm sure we'd be happy to tell you what works best for us individually if you ask. And if we wouldn't, then that's ok. Sometimes we gotta figure things out on our own first before we can explain it to others. Either way, never stop asking. Because accessibility is always evolving, and someone is always going to have a different answer to the same question.

You can't get accessibility wrong if you're just willing to try. So keep trying.

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 10 months ago

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for Natasha, Seele, and Bronya, March 7th and Kakfa

With an S/O who likes tease and try to fluster them think on same level as Yae Miko from genshin

(Honkai: Star Rail) Natasha, Seele, Bronya, and March 7th's S/O teasing them

No Kafka just yet on this blog, but eventually there shall be!

Natasha actually loves S/O's teasing.

It'd make other patients within earshot groan, but Natasha chuckles delightfully while having a hand cover her mouth.

The only time she'd find it annoying is if she's in the middle of work, which thankfully doesn't happen if the operation is life-threatening.

Otherwise, Natasha doesn't mind the attempts to tease her and finds it really fun to play along with their antics.

Unless it's in front of the kids.

Then she actually gets very flustered and very irritated if they don't shut up.

(Natasha) "S-S/O! Not in front of the children!"

(S/O) "Hm? Why so serious all of a sudden, dear? You didn't seem that hot and bothered when I said to you in private-"

Natasha glared at them.

(Natasha) "S/O!"

(Hook) "Natasha, what are they talking abou-"

(Natasha) "Nothing. In fact, I think it's time for S/O's checkup."

(S/O) "...Does it require your grenade launch-"

(Natasha) "You're going to be in bad shape, so yes. It will."

Seele sighs loudly whenever she hears S/O trying to get a rise out of her.

It was kind of working, but the it just made her want to punch them instead of being flustered.

At least the ones in public. Since S/O would like to not be cleaved in half by her scythe.

Seele is at least impressed by their tenacity, but she supposed that went for everyone with Wildfire.

They were a pretty stubborn bunch.

(Seele) "Ugh, my back is killing me..."

(S/O) "Well, we did-"

(Seele) "Finish that sentence, and I will be killing you."

Seeing that shit-eating grin on S/O made Seele roll her eyes. One of these days, she was going to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Otherwise, if they try to make any wise-cracks like that in front of the Chief or Natasha, the bottom of her fist hits their head both gently, yet firmly.

(Seele) "Shut your trap, already."

Bronya is very easy to fluster, go figure.

She can keep her cool when in professional settings, but all it takes is S/O cracking a very inappropriate joke to shatter that, at least when there's not many people in the room.

If she is in the middle of important business, she is going to glare at them until they take the hint.

But her threatening aura is somewhat diminished when her cheeks go red.

Bronya reacts far stronger when it's just the two of them. Part of her is thankful that is where the worst of S/O's teasing comes to the front, but she would prefer not to deal with it that much.

(S/O) "My, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to kill me with your gaze alone."

(Bronya) "I'd very much like to, S/O! You can't just...s-suddenly grab me like that!"

(S/O) "Hm? But I thought you liked-"

(Bronya) "NOT ANOTHER WORD!"

She tries to clear her throat and grumbles hearing S/O's laughter.

They're lucky Bronya adores hearing it...

Depending on the situation, March will either play along or begin stuttering like crazy.

If it's the two of them only, March becomes smug and tries to outplay them.

But if its in front of the Astral Express crew, more than likely she'll be trying to shut them up.

(Stelle) "Keep your flirting in your room, you two."

(March 7th) "H-HEY! S/O STARTED IT!"

(S/O) "What's wrong, March? I thought you'd want everyone to hear about our undying love, as you put it-"

(March 7th) "Ugh, SHUT UP!"

Himeko laughs while Welt and Dan Heng simply shake their heads.

(S/O) "You know, just last night she was-"

(March 7th) "OKAY! Putting a veto on that thought, any objections?!"

(Welt) "No."

(Dan Heng) "No."

(Himeko) "I'm curious-"

(Stelle) "...So am I-"

S/O laughs at everyone's reaction, making March pout and hit them on the arm.

#honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail headcanons #natasha hsr x reader #seele hsr x reader #bronya hsr x reader #march 7th x reader #natasha honkai star rail #seele honkai star rail #bronya honkai star rail #march 7th honkai star rail

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kikyoupdates · 3 months ago

Text

Love Bite ⭑˚🩸⭑ 𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟

yandere!vampires x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, original characters, vampire!ocs x fem!reader

Desperate for money to pay off your debts, you sign up for a program that allows you to sell your blood to vampires. At first, everything is fine, and you’re finally able to make ends meet. But they soon begin craving more than just your blood.

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Once again, Xavier stands before you.

“Hi,” you greet, smiling awkwardly. “It’s nice to see you again. How are you doing?”

You’re not really sure why you keep bothering with the pleasantries, because it’ll probably end the same way every time. With him tilting his head at you and furrowing his brows in confusion.

You have to remember that for him, this is purely business. Maybe even less than that, actually.

He’s here to sate his appetite, and you are simply a means to an end.

“I’m fine,” Xavier replies, still frowning and no doubt wondering why you keep trying to make small talk with him. He then gestures towards one of the chairs. “Are you ready to get started?”

You nod and quickly sit down. Even though you came back here of your own volition, now that he’s about to drink your blood again, you can feel how fast your heart is beating in anticipation of the pain.

There’s no point in being scared. I need the money. I did it once, so I’m sure I can do it again.

“Whenever you want,” you tell him, white-knuckling the armrest of your chair. “I’m ready.”

Xavier takes a moment to settle beside you. He seems to be waiting just in case you refuse, and while you appreciate that he won’t do anything without your consent, the longer he takes to get started, the more nerve-wracking this whole thing is.

Finally, he bridges the distance, uses an arm to gently hold you in place, and presses his lips against your neck.

Just like last time, it fucking hurts. You can’t even pretend otherwise. There’s a reason why this program isn’t more sought-after. Not only do most humans live in fear of vampires, but the vast majority of people also aren’t desperate enough to sell their blood just to make ends meet. It’s a scary, painful experience, and it comes at a cost to your health, too.

This program was made deliberately for people like you—the hopeless and rundown.

You almost wonder what the other people who’ve signed up are like, but you decide it’s probably better not to meet them. Nothing good could possibly come of so many sad, pitiful souls gathering together in one place.

Anyways, what were you saying again? Oh, right.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

You tremble in place, doing your utmost not to grit your teeth and tense your muscles too much. The pain is one thing, but the sensation of having your blood drained—feeling it be directly siphoned from your body—is what’s truly horrifying. It feels wholly unnatural, and you’ll probably never be able to get used to it.

Still, you put on a brave face. You chose this, and right now, it’s the only option you have.

But apparently, you're not doing a very good job of being convincing.

Xavier pulls away and frowns. “You look like you’re suffering,” he remarks. There’s some blood on his lips, and you swallow at the sight, trying not to let it unnerve you.

“I’m fine,” you reassure. “This is no big deal.”

The last thing you want to do is scare him off. You need him to keep coming back. To you, the money you get from this is every bit as vital as the blood flowing through your veins.

Without it, you won’t survive.

Xavier narrows his eyes, and you fear that he’s starting to become rather annoyed with you. Perhaps he’d prefer someone else. Someone who isn’t such a baby and knows how to suffer through the pain without letting it show.

But instead of berating you, he does the exact opposite.

He apologizes.

“Sorry,” he sighs. “It’s been a long time since I drank someone’s blood like this. Up until I was admitted entry to the city, I lived off the government-issued blood packs, so I didn’t have to bite anyone. I suppose I should learn how to be a bit gentler.”

Uh... what?

You weren’t expecting this. You weren’t expecting this at all. Granted, he was very vocal about not wanting to force you into anything, but he never really struck you as the compassionate type. His expression is usually so stern, almost as frigid as his ice-cold hands.

But right now, he actually looks a bit sheepish.

You’re not sure if it’s the tenderness of his gaze, or the fact that someone’s actually treating you with empathy for a change, but either way, you find yourself blushing.

“I-It’s alright,” you say, glancing off to the side. Looking into those clear blue eyes of his is proving to be far too difficult a task right now. “I mean... it does hurt a bit, but I expected as much coming into this. I think I just need some more time to get used to it.”

“No. I’m sure it can’t be pleasant, so it’s up to me to do it in a way that isn’t quite so unbearable.” He lightly taps you on the hand, beckoning you to look at him again. “I’d like to try one more time,” he says. “With your permission, of course.”

Fuck. Here you are, selling your blood—which is quite possibly the least romantic thing in the world—but all of a sudden, you’ve got butterflies in your stomach.

It’s his fault for being so damn handsome. Or maybe you’re just not thinking clearly from all the blood loss.

Yeah. That must be it.

“Go ahead,” you reassure, adjusting your position and exposing your neck again. You take a deep breath, trying to relax, and you remind yourself that no matter how much it hurts, eventually, it will end.

Xavier’s fangs pierce your skin again, but even though you wince, you feel as though it’s slightly different from earlier. The way he’s drinking your blood is slower, more deliberate. It still hurts, no question about it, but you can tell that he’s now being conscious of how he does it.

Somehow, just the fact that he’s making an effort to hurt you less helps you cope a lot better than before.

“Huh? A different vampire has personally requested me?”

You blink, holding your phone against your ear. Just moments ago, someone from Plasma Inc. called to inform you that you’ve got another client. The news comes as a surprise, especially since you’re pretty sure Xavier is the only vampire you’ve ever met.

“Um... you guys don’t happen to show the clients files of the people who’ve signed up for the program and rank their blood in terms of tastiness, right?”

It’s a stupid question, if the sigh the employee lets out is anything to go off. You felt like asking it anyways, though.

“Of course not,” they reply. “This is actually a very peculiar case. We normally match clients and donors randomly, but this particular client apparently caught a glimpse of you in the building. Certain vampires are more perceptive than others and can sense when someone has appetizing blood. He was adamant about meeting with you, but naturally, the choice is yours. Rest assured that we will never disclose any of your personal information to him, so you’re welcome to refuse.”

As if you would ever refuse an opportunity to earn more money. These people are seriously underestimating just how desperate you are.

“I’ll meet with him,” you agree. “Just let me know when I should stop by.”

This is a good thing, right? Assuming he likes you—which, it sounds like he already does—you’ll be able to meet with two clients regularly instead of one.

Paying off your debt is finally starting to feel like more than just a dream.

Not much time has passed since you last saw Xavier, but once again, you find yourself walking down the pristine, glistening white hallways of Plasma Inc.

“Before you go meet with your new client,” the doctor begins, “I feel the need to mention that there are limits to how frequently you can come in. We can’t in good faith let you come back too often and give away your blood, otherwise it comes at a detriment to your health, and we are liable for it. So, please understand that we will monitor how often you come in and impose restrictions. We won’t allow you to put yourself in harm’s way.”

Damn. Well, that does make sense, and you suppose it’s a good thing, ethically speaking.

But financially speaking—for you, at least—it isn’t exactly ideal.

Still, you nod in agreement. “I understand. I won’t do anything to get you guys in trouble.”

The doctor smiles and ushers you along. Well, it’s fine. Even if you don’t do this all the time, they pay you quite generously, most likely to incentivize people into signing up in the first place. And now you have two clients instead of one, which means that you’re bound to get paid more often anyways.

Besides, this isn’t a permanent solution. It’s only to help keep you afloat until you pay off your debt to Johnny.

Once this nightmare is over, you’ll finally know what it’s like to live a normal life.

“Go right ahead,” the doctor gestures, and since you’re starting to get used to this whole process by now, you step inside the room without any hesitation.

Then, you lock eyes with your new client.

He’s tall. Really, really tall, as if being a vampire wasn’t already intimidating enough. His eyes are even more piercing than Xavier’s pale blue ones. They glisten like shards of topaz, bright and beguiling. You haven’t yet realized that your lips are parted open in awe, and all of this feels suspiciously like déjà vu. Like when you first laid eyes on Xavier.

It turns out that vampires really are ridiculously attractive.

“Yay, you’re finally here!” he exclaims. He runs up to you, and without warning, pulls you into his arms.

Naturally, you flinch at the sudden contact, and even though he’s going to be biting your neck later, you’re pretty sure that this isn’t exactly appropriate.

“U-Um,” you stammer. You try to push him away, but he’s a million times stronger than you, so you may as well be trying to move a wall.

He squeezes you and lets out a pleased sigh. “I knew it. You really do smell amazing. I can only imagine how sweet your blood will taste.”

Oh, boy. He’s sniffing you.

This already doesn’t bode well.

Mercifully, he pulls away quickly enough, stopping to flash you a sharp-toothed grin. “I’m Felix,” he introduces. “Man, you’re even prettier in person too! This day just keeps getting better. I really struck gold here.”

You can’t tell if he’s a big flirt, or a creep, or if he’s just really excited to drink your blood.

Regardless, you don’t make any motion to leave.

No way in hell are you leaving without your money.

“I’m [Name],” you say, nodding your head a bit. “It’s nice to meet you, Felix. I heard that you requested me specifically, so... hopefully I won’t let you down.”

His grin gets even wider. “There’s no way you will. I’m confident about this. I don’t think I’ve ever met a human who smells as good as you do.”

“Um... thanks.”

You’re not really sure what else to say. He’s a lot different from Xavier, though, that much is for sure. He’s infinitely more expressive and doesn’t seem too concerned with keeping things professional.

Regardless, he’s a client, and unless you give him what he wants, you’re not going to get paid.

“Should we start now?” you ask, already sitting down.

Felix nods eagerly. He’s practically vibrating, incapable of containing his excitement. You suppose it’s a bit endearing. It seems like he’s really been looking forward to this, and money aside, it’s nice to be able to make someone happy.

You adjust the top of your shirt to better expose your neck, and you swear that Felix gulps at the sight.

“Whenever you’re ready, just—”

The rest of the words don’t make it out in time. He grabs you by the shoulders, forcefully, then bites into your neck without even bothering to ease you through it.

A sharp cry escapes your lips, and you whimper, doing everything you can not to scream again.

This is bad. Unlike Xavier, he’s making no attempt to be gentle. He’s slurping from your neck greedily, and even though he’s already pierced your skin, his fangs dig deeper, in a relentless pursuit of everything you have to offer.

Tears blur your vision. Holy fuck, it hurts. You never imagined that it could hurt this much. It was already bad enough before. Will you... even be able to handle this?

You moan softly, and even though you’re doing your best to hold it together, a few tears end up spilling down your cheeks. You can feel how damp your skin is. Not just your face, but also the tender spot on your neck that Felix keeps burying his fangs into.

The pain makes you pass out for a few moments, but it’s better this way, because when you come to, Felix has finally stopped.

His lips and chin are completely stained with your blood, and he makes no attempt to wipe it off either, unlike Xavier.

To make matters even worse, he actually has the nerve to smile.

“Amazing,” he mumbles. He doesn’t seem awfully concerned with the fact that you’re only semi-conscious right now, and instead presses his body closer to yours. “[Name], you really are amazing. I’ve never had such delicious blood before. Most humans taste disgusting to me, and it’s a pain just finding something I can stomach. I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that I’ve finally met someone like you.”

Sure, it sounds like a crappy situation, but you’re having a hard time sympathizing with him after he basically just mauled your neck.

You wince and press a hand against the bite mark, and when you pull your fingers away, you’re horrified to find that they’re completely coated in blood.

Sh-Shit...

Felix leans into your line of sight, still grinning widely. “Hey. I have an offer for you. I’m sure they must have told you that there are restrictions to how often you can sell your blood, but if you’re here, it’s because you need the money, right? So, how about we also meet up outside of our scheduled appointments? That way, I can drink your blood as often as I want, and you can make more money. And by that, I mean that I’ll pay you double what you’re getting here. Hm? How does that sound?”

Double?

As in, two times as much?

You blink repeatedly, suddenly completely lucid. The pain is still there, clear as day, but what you’ve just heard has imbued you with a new sense of bravery.

Felix clearly doesn’t know the meaning of holding back. You doubt he cares about hurting you, which means it’ll be painful as all hell, every single time. Honestly, if you really wanted to, you could drop him as a client altogether. He seems like the type that’s difficult to keep in line, especially when there’s something he wants.

But it’s obvious that he really, really likes your blood, and apparently, he’s willing to pay a steep price for it.

With that kind of money, you’ll be able to pay Johnny back even faster. You’ll be able to treat yourself to a nice meal every now and then, to put your feet down from time to time and get a proper night’s sleep.

Forget just surviving, you want to know what it’s like to actually live.

“This is strictly between the two of us,” Felix continues. “It has to be done in private, without anyone finding out. The laws on this stuff are pretty stingy, and I’m sure neither of us wants to get in trouble. But I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Just a few moments ago, when you saw the bloody mess he made of your neck, you were actually considering never seeing him again. The pain was simply too much. You’ve suffered a lot, but even you have your limits.

Alas, in the face of money, you are nothing but a pathetic, subservient fool.

“Okay,” you mumble weakly. “Let’s do it.”

It’s probably a big mistake.

But you’re too desperate to care.

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foreverfangirlsblog · 7 months ago

Text

Unresponsive (Husk x Mute!Reader)

3356 Words

Summary:

Husk wasn't at the Hotel when you were first introduced to the residents so how was he supposed to know you couldn't talk? He would try to make conversation with you but to no avail. Was it something he did? Did you simply not like him? You seemed to get along with everyone else...so why not him? And even more so, why did it bother him so much?

**This is cross posted

The most recent extermination was a rough one...you didn't double die but you did run into some extremely heinous exorcists. Instead of killing you the group of exorcists decided to have "fun" and torture you. The torture included many beatings, cuts, and degrading. But worst of all...they decided to rip your tongue out after you threw some vulgar words their way. Even though they didn't kill you they may have well left you for dead, who knows maybe after all their torture and mutilation they really did think that they finished you off. Not you, you wouldn't give that easily. No way in hell.

The next couple of days after the extermination you went from alley to alley trying to avoid as many people as you can. Your apartment was also blown up by the bastards and without the ability to talk, well what were you supposed to do? You couldn't get a new place without talking, you had no phone to help you translate, so sleeping on the streets honestly seemed like the easier option.

One night as you were huddled up in the corner of an alley trying your best to drown out the surrounding noise someone came up to you. You tried ignoring them as the approached but they were coming straight for you and then tapped your shoulder, can't avoid them now.

You sighed as you raised your head from your fetus position. The girl standing before you was a tall girl with light blonde hair and red circles for cheeks, dressed in a red suit. "Hello!" she said way too enthusiastically. "My name is Charlie! I couldn't help but notice you over here..." she took a look around you, noticing your belongings in some dufflebags to the side of you. "...are you living on the streets?"

You slightly nodded annoyed that she would ask such an obvious question.

"Oh that's great!" she said as she bounced, clapping her hands together in glee.

Your face was deadpanned, as you tilted your head to the side to show confusion. 'How the fuck is that great' you thought to yourself instead of speaking like you would've liked.

"Oh no no I didn't mean-what I meant is that's great because I have a place you can live!" she said trying to clarify, but you were still confused and waited for her to continue. "I have a hotel, the Hazbin Hotel! It's a place where sinners can live for free while they try to atone for their sins, redeem themselves, and hopefully get into heaven!!!" she finished stating as she did jazz hands.

You stayed silent thinking over her proposal. You didn't really know if getting "redeemed" was actually possible but what better option did you have? Continue living on the streets? No thank you. You stood up and dusted off your pants before extending your hand out to her with a shy smile, trying to show that you'd like to take her up on her offer.

She squealed and gladly took you hand, shaking it wildly. "Oh my goodness that's amazing!! You're my first recruit!!! Well besides Angel of course...oh never mind! I'm so excited for you to come! Here come with me we can go right now! Oh! Here let me carry your bag for you too!" she rambled excitedly.

You simply laughed at her and helped her with the bags as you followed her out the alley, before she stopped."Oh wait I'm so sorry I didn't get your name."

You stiffened and stopped walking, you opened your mouth to try and say something but had no luck. 'Dammit' you thought

She looked at you puzzled so you did something you hope you won't have to do again...you open your mouth to her and pointed to show her why you weren't answering her question.

She gasped a little and gave you a look of sympathy. It's easy to assume how this happened to you so she didn't ask anymore questions. "Don't worry I have an idea" she said softly as she took out her phone from her pocket and handed it to you with it unlocked, notes app ready to go. You typed slowly into the phone and then show it to her 'My name is YN'

She grinned happily before taking the phone back "Well Y/N its so nice to meet you! Let's get you to the hotel shall we?"

-----------------------------------------------------------

---Flash Forward to arriving to the hotel with Charlie---

Charlie burst through the doors of the hotel suddenly, eager to tell everyone the news about the newest resident. "EVERYONE GET TO THE LOBBY NOW I HAVE EXCITING NEWS!!" She yelled to an empty room.

Slowly a group of demons entered the room and gathered in the lobby space, expectedly looking to Charlie for her announcement. You saw 5 demons in total. "Everyone this is Y/N! Our newest resident!! Y/N this is Alastor, Sir Pentious, Angel, Niffty, Vaggie, and Hus-oh where's Husk?" Charlie introduced everyone one by one but then stopped, asking no one in particular.

The red deer like demon who you now know to be Alastor answered her "Oh I sent old Husker on an errand for me" His voice was filled with static like an old radio and had a tone of slyness to it.'He looks like a deer but sounds as sly as a fox' you thought to yourself.

"Oh okay no matter!" Charlie waved it off as everyone said hello to you then waited expectedly for you to return a greeting. But instead you simply waved shyly and looked at Charlie for help. "OH!"Charlie exclaimed, "I forgot to mention uh..." she hesitated "Y/N can't really talk. But no worries! I'll be going out later to get a phone for her to communicate and participate in our exercises!"

Majority of the group really didn't know how to react and just stood there looking at you with that same look of sympathy that Charlie did earlier. 'Is it sympathy or just pity?' you thought to yourself before Alastor broke the deafening silence, "Welcome my dear! In absence of our normal concierge allow me to get you settled in hm?"

With that Alastor guided you away from the others and thus started your journey to redemption.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You decided to mostly keep to yourself that day after Alastor got you settled in, besides you didn't know when Charlie would give you the phone to help with communication and you didn't really want to play charades to make conversation with anyone.

Despite you wanting to stay away from the others your stomach betrayed you, you had to get something to eat and drink or else you'd go mad. You slowly made your way out of your room and towards the lobby. As you entered the lobby you immediately noticed someone who you weren't introduced to before. 'Is this that Husker guy they mentioned before?' you thought to yourself. The person, or I guess cat in front of you is black and white with speckled gray here and there, a top hat and matching bowtie. 'Not bad looking'.

As you advanced further the cat stopped looking down the bottom of his beer bottle and instead looked in your direction, finally acknowledging your existence. "Who the fuck are you?" he scowled.

You were shocked for a moment but then scowled right back at him 'Who pissed in his drink' you thought, put off by his unprompted sour attitude.

He stared at you expectedly. But when you didn't responded he spoke again, louder than before "Are you stupid?? I asked who-"

Before he could finish Charlie interrupted. "Y/N! There you are I was just about to bring you the phone!"

'Thank goodness'

Charlie quickly walked over to you and presented the new phone to you. You gave her a grateful smile as you held the phone close to you.

"Haha you're welcome!" She responded before realizing Husk was still staring at you, annoyed. "Oh Husk I'm sorry this is our new resident Y/N! She arrived earlier today while you were out on an errand" Husk nodded. "Husk Y/N, Y/N Husk!"

"Nice to meet you Y/N" Husk mumbled grumpily, a bit embarrsed by his rashness from before.

Your smile faded as you awkwardly waved to him.

"Y/N you must be starving come let me show you to the kitchen!" you were grateful to Charlie for getting you out of that situation.

----------------------------------------------

As the day passed you ventured out of your room more and more frequently but gradually. You kind of developed a routine. You'd sit in the lobby and hang out with Angel on most days, sometimes Vaggie too. You'd converse with them as best you could then later at night when most everyone went to sleep you'd visited the bar for a drink. You were a bit embarrassed having to use a phone to talk to people, so if you could get away with it you wouldn't use it. Answering questions with a simple nod, shake, or shrug seemed to do the trick a lot of the time. Often when you talked to Angel and Maggie you were comfortable enough (and they were patient enough) to allow you to use the phone to have better, meaningful conversations with them...but other people....or cats.....weren't the same.

The first time you went to the bar Husk quickly asked you "What do you want?".

'Blunt isn't he' you thought. You didn't know what was available and didn't really care to go through the efforts of asking so you just shrugged.

"Dammit you'll drink whatever I give you then" Husk turned his back to you a muttered some other choice words before presenting you with a drink. You awkwardly had a few more then went away to your room.

Things continued like this for quite sometime, a month even. Every night you'd make your routine visit to Husk at the bar, have a mostly one sided conversation with Husk-throw in some nods and shrugs consume a handful of drinks the leave.

Husk wasn't use to people not trauma dumping their problems onto him. You didn't really open up to him at all. You'd get your drink and HE would be the one having to pry a conversation from YOU. Even when he'd ask you a bunch of questions to try and get to know you better the most he'd receive is a nod confirming his question, or shrug indicating what? It was none of his business. This annoyed him GREATLY. Man was frustrated. He wanted to get to know you, everyone else seemed to love you. You bonded well with everyone,..but him. You intrigued him.

One night you and Angel were having such a fun time hanging out in the lobby together. Your laughter even filled the room, and much to Husk's annoyance, his ears. Usually Angel had to work late nights with Val so he never joined you for your late night bar trips so this was the first time he was able to join you at the bar for some drinks. "Come on bitch lets go get wasted"

Husk stiffened, mentally preparing himself to be a third wheel in this conversation.

"Get us allll the drinks Husker! I'm finally getting this hot chick wasted" Husk rolled his eyes at Angel as you blushed at Angels confidence

"Alright alright, don't kill the poor girl"

"She can handle her liquor!" Angel laughed and turned to you, but you just shrugged.

You and Angel sat right next to each other, as close as possible so Angel can quickly see your responses on your phone as you typed.

After many drinks and jokes Husk was growing more and more irritable. He didn't know what you both were talking about and it was driving him mad that neither of you bothered to include him in the conversation. 'At least speak loud enough for me to eavesdrop damn...' he thought.

"Alright toots ill be right back I gotta take a piss, don't wait up have a couple more rounds" Angel said quickly as he winked at you before leaving to the bathroom "Keep her entertained whiskers!"

"Fuck off!" Husk yelled after him before he was out of sight from you both.

Now it was your turn to tense up. You were a bit tipsy now and it was growing harder and harder to communicate via typing with your agility becoming so discombobulated. Husk sighed and leaned closer to you. "Do you even know how many drinks you can have before you black out? Cause I'm telling ya right now I'm not carrying you to bed and neither is your long legged buddy after he's done" Husker teased and you responded with a small laugh and shrug.

Not as reactive as he would've hoped but it was still something.

Husk slipped another drink to you before asking his next question, "So, I hope you don't mind me asking...' he started much more serious "but how'd you wind up here? I know almost everything about everyone here, except for you. Ms. Mystery" Husk teased slightly.

You took out your phone and started typing a response to him sloppily and slower, much slower than usual.

Husk showed a hurt expression on his face before contouring it into anger and annoyance. 'Who the fuck just blatantly ignores someone like that??' Husk thought. "Listen if you don't want to talk to me just tell me there's no need to be a bitch about it!" He said angrily.

You stopped typing and looked up at him shocked.

"Don't act innocent now you just straight up ignored me! You can leave my bar for all I care! You-" Husk was growing louder and angrier by the word but before he could continue Angel came running over to you both.

"Husk why the fuck are you yelling at Y/N?!" Angel asked Husk glaring at him.

"Tried to keep her company like you said but this bitch just pulls out her phone and ignores me! Like I don't have better things to do than have a one sided conversation with her" Husk stated as if it was obvious

"Oh my god you fucking idiot"

"What??" Husk said growing even more annoyed. Oblivious to the situation.

"SHE CAN'T TALK YOU ASSHOLE"

"Huh?" His voice was significantly quieter now, almost not audible, "the fuck you mean she can't talk?"

"She's been here for almost a month and you didn't know she couldn't talk??? Are you stupid or just dumb??"

Husk didn't know what to say. He looked over to you and his heart broke. You were looking down trying not to cry in from of them. Angel followed his gaze to also notice the fight against your tears. "Look what you did you asshole" Angel glared at Husk before holding your shoulders, leading you away from the bar and towards his room "Come on Y/N lets go play with Fat Nuggets he missed you the other day"

'I fucked up.....' Husk thought to himself.

-------------------------------------------

Husk couldn't sleep at all that night. He felt so incredibly guilty for yelling at you like that, and even more for not knowing that you couldn't talk. How did he not notice it before?? No one is that shy. Why didn't anyone tell him? That's kind of an important detail to mention when you introduce someone. Then he remembered Charlie didn't mention it when she introduced them. 'Where's Charlie?!'

"Charlie!!" Husk said, almost yelling as he knocked aggressively on her door.

"Husk?" Vaggie said with a raspy morning voice "it's like 5 in the morning why are you knocking on our door like there's fire!" She was obviously irritated by being woken up.

"I need to talk to Charlie" Vaggie gave him a questioning look "Please, it's important" Husk practically begging? Vaggie woke up Charlie to talk to him.

"What's wrong Husk? Did something happen?" Charlie asked before yawning.

"Um, well. Not exactly. But I need to know something" Charlie looks at Husk confused as he stumbles on his words "Y/N can't talk?"

"HE DIDN'T KNOW Y/N CANT TALK?!" Vaggie practically yelled

Husk groaned as Charlie hushed her girlfriend.

"Ya I know im a fucking moron hahaha." He deadpanned, "Why can't Y/N talk????"

"Husk....Y/N had her tongue ripped out by an exorcist"

Husks face dropped even more than it already had, he felt like he was gonna throw up "What?"

"You really didn't know?? That's why I gave her the phone the first day I introduced you remember? She uses it to communicate"

Husk facepalmed and dragged his paw down his face "I'm so stupid." He hit his head "Stupid stupid UGHHHH"

"Why?? WHAT happened Husk?" Charlie insisted.

"I may or may not have yelled at Y/N because she was on her phone instead of talking to me?" Charlie's mouth was open from shock "I thought she was ignoring me...I don't know. I messed up"

"Royaly" Vaggie said.

How was he going to fix this?

----------------------------------

Over the next few days your normal routine changed. You ignored Husk as much as you could. He hated himself more and more everyday for the misunderstanding and wanted to apologize as soon as he saw you, make it up to you. But he never saw you.

Husk was at the bar late in the evening as Angel got back to the hotel from work and tried to pass him to get to the hallway. "Angel wait please"

"Wow never thought I'd hear you say please. What do you want Husk?" Angel said annoyed, just now noticing the bags he carried.

He could't help his curiosity "What's all that?" Husk questioned motioning to the bags

"Uhh its drinks for Y/N actually...since you know"

Husk felt sick again. Angel turned away to continue to the hallway "Wait let me bring those to her"

Angel turned to husk confused "Why the hell would I let you do that?"

"Please" Husk begged "I want to apologize to her but she's been avoiding me, let me do this, she'll answer the door and I'll make it better." Angel was hesitant and skeptic "Please, I'll owe you one'

Angels eyebrow raised "Tempting....fine here, don't tell her I approved this"

"Thank you" His quickly took the bag of drinks from Angel and went to your door.

'Okay Husk don't fuck this up'

*knock knock knock*

Husk could hear rustling behind the door. Then a few moments later the door cracked open and Y/N peaked her head out to check who it was. Upon seeing Husk there, in his tired form, Y/N's mouth made an O shape. "Y/N" he breathed "Can I come in please. I brought a peace offering" he referred to the booze.

Y/N opened the door wider for him, allowing him in her room.

He was instantly hit with the aroma of her scent. It made his fur stand up a bit straighter.

After she closed the door and took the offering away from him she looked at him expectedly.

"Listen uh. I wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I really am an idiot I genuinely, GENUINELY didn't know about your...situation." You broke eye contact with him for a moment but then you locked eyes with him again before he continued "Im an asshole. You didn't deserve that I just-just didn't know why you didn't talk to me like you did the others....You seemed to bond so well with everyone else but you never opened up to me. I just, I don't know"

This time you held up your finger, indicating for him to wait a moment. You took out your phone and typed 'So what you're saying is you were a jerk because you want to get to know me better?'

He laughed and shyly responded "Yeah basically"

'Lets. sit down and crack open these drinks. Seems like we have a lot of catching up to do' you typed to him and he blushed. Thank hell you were so understanding.

#husk x reader #husker hazbin hotel #husker x reader #husk/reader #hazbin hotel #husk one shot

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yourheart-inmyhands · 1 year ago

Note

I've been watching to much one piece-

Had a idea of yan! Furina and neuvillette

With a Fishman reader that is like there personal assistant/bodyguard

-🌮annon

mmmmm, i know they're bad but some of those fishmen were stupidly hot, then again the fishmen aren't even the worst on m list of one peice men i'd smash so XD

Warning: This post contains yandere-themes, including mentions of intimidation, mentions of race discrimination, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Furina is definitely one of the weaker archons, and while she isn’t entirely incapable of defending herself, it’s clear she tends to shy away from actual fighting and violence. So having a beloved that’s more like a bodyguard would be perfect for her. She’s more confident in her day to day life, not that she needs it, and feels more comfortable going about the city than she would’ve before meeting you. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t still treat you like her beloved though.

Walking diligently beside Furina, who skipped and hummed and swung your joined hands back and forth, your eyes cast over the crowd. Things had been a lot calmer since you started joining her on her expeditions to the city. No longer did people crowd her with pleas and prayers, but instead parted gently for her, eyes and trembling hands cast in your direction. Fishfolk weren’t rare per say, but they were known to keep to the waters, never mingling with humans due to their dislike for them. So, after many years of the species' limited interaction, for one to suddenly appear alongside their beloved archon, it shook them to the core. They didn’t understand how such a sweet girl like Furina could love a brute like you, but not a soul dare question it for fear that your intimidating aura carried some weight to it.

Yandere!Neuvillette would find it interesting and humorous. He certainly doesn’t need a guard, having turned down many prior to you, but he will not put a stop to your behavior either. Instead he gently reminds you that you needn’t be so harsh with the townsfolk and that they meant no harm. Though he does appreciate your shared care for the melusine.

Walking down a busy street, simply searching for some food, Neuvillette takes note of your vigilant attitude. He’d reminded you plenty that it was unnecessary but you never seemed to listen. Your protective instincts kicking into high gear whenever a woman would come up, asking about his day or occasionally for an autograph. While Neuvillette had found the women to be in poor taste, he was never too bothered by them, unless he was in a rush. Now though, no one was bold enough to do more than glance in his direction and murmur, their attention focused more on your than anything. You needn’t scowl or even carry a weapon to draw their attention and strike fear. No, simply your species alone was enough to startle the young women away, leaving you and your darling Neuvillette all the time you wish together.

#genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin x male reader #furina x reader #furina x male reader #yandere furina x reader #yandere furina x male reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x male reader #yandere neuvillette x reader #yandere neuvillette x male reader #yandere genshin #yandere furina #yandere neuvillette

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fireheartedpup · 21 days ago

Text

Okay. So. Ashwaganda.

I lost the post about the supplement from a troll company that was marketing it as hormone replacement therapy. The doses were high enough to send you into serotonin syndrome, and it doesn't replace estrogen. It encourages your body to make the hormones it's already making.

This was in 2023, and the website quickly vanished after backlash.

The thing is, ashwaganda is a mood stabilizer. I'm wondering if it's possible to feel better before the serotonin syndrome. Is the dosage high enough that you feel funny immediately, or does it seem like life is so good that this miracle pill couldn't possibly be bad for you?

Once it starts, it sounds like torture. I'm just wondering about the lead up. The poster who was quoted on that post said that ashwaganda taken in that dosage could cause it in "as little as a month," so what does the lead up feel like?

I don't take medication, so I haven't worried too much about interactions. That said, it's good to know that it can conflict with medications for blood pressure, thyroid, sleep, immunosuppression, and diabetes.

This is mostly because it has similar effects--so again, too much can tip you over from "this helps" to "this is a threat to my safety."

There are other natural things that raise serotonin levels, like ginkgo, and I thought they were mentioned in one of links I included but I can find the paragraph I'm thinking of.

...this could be due to the fact that ginseng can also raise serotonin levels, and I might have misremembered it.

Probiotics, vitamin D, and fish oil can also raise serotonin, as can tryptophan and exercise. Rhodiola is another adaptogen that can help with things like ADHD, and St. John's Wort is also on that list.

There's a lot. I actually left out green tea and turmeric. Oh, and 5-htp. That one I'm careful with. It makes me feel drugged.

Coffee and artificial sweeteners can decrease serotonin, so I'm not terribly bothered. If it's not consumed in high doses or alongside something it shouldn't be combined with, it should be okay.

I'm also not consistent with anything, and in the case of the supplements where it's better to take breaks instead of simply continuing to take them every single day for a long period of time, this works for me.

The thing that made me take a second look at adaptogens in general is that my period is almost a week late.

Remember how it adjusts your hormones? Yeah, a lot of people have this reaction--and it can make your period lighter. I'm mostly finding anecdotes from reddit, but there is a study about it helping with perimenopause.

My periods have never been super consistent. I have a rough idea of when they're going to come, but the cycle isn't exact. So this doesn't bother me a ton, but it's enough for some people to want to switch to an alternative method of controlling things like anxiety.

I'm already questioning whether my hormones are out of whack or not, so that's part of it.

I just think it's interesting. "Natural alternatives" are marketed as safer, without side effects. My experience has been that no matter what you do, you're throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks--and you still need to look up everything you take to see if it's going to interact with anything else.

It would be nice if going to a doctor fixed this problem. Unfortunately, I've read too many stories about patients having to look things up for themselves, even after going to doctor after doctor.

It's like the pegboard with red string.

Anyway. My takeaway is still that what will fix your problems is appropriate treatment for your body. Unfortunately, this is different for everyone, and pretty much requires you to make a lifelong study of what to take and what the side effects are--no matter if you're taking supplements or drugs.

I'm still on the adaptogen train because I don't have to beg a doctor for help or make an appointment or beg a doctor to listen to me when it turns out that I need a change in my treatment plan or get registered as "really, she needs this" in order to get the thing that will help me.

I'm just. You know. Wondering. About what this is going to mean for my period going forward.

(And I'm going to have to research every single other thing I'm taking to see what the crossovers are.)

IMPORTANT: Ashwaganda can cause spontaneous abortion. Do not listen to anyone who says that adaptogens are safe to take during pregnancy. CHECK FIRST.

#like i fully understand ms-demeanor's points about dosage and efficacy but this is something I'm more comfortable with #personal #period talk #adaptogens

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ozai-the-bonsai · 8 months ago

Text

Cry for the Moon

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!reader

Warnings: some strong language here and there

A/N: I am sorry for the long wait, the inspiration was failing and I didn't want to write something half-heartedly just for the sake of posting something. This is a long chapter and I loved writing it! Hope you enjoy this one as well, let me know what you think about it in the comments!

Taglist: @annonymatic @yoongiesstar @lost-inthe-v0id @lokigodofmyheart @4l3x1s @potato87123 @asciendo @angelruinz @unamused-boss @junieshohoho @yourlivewire @itszzmoon @coolgirl458 @vyliie @6000-fandoms @aerikim246 @feitansrisingsun @xenop0p @saikikusouswife @marsbars09

Using a tank train to chase the Avatar and his friends could have been the best idea you had come up with so far.

With the giant flying bison shedding its white fur all over the place while it flew, it had been quite easy to keep track of them – actually, it had been rather too easy. The whole night, the tank train didn’t let the Avatar and his friends get the slightest bit of sleep.

You had been on their necks all the time, just like a shadow following.

Azula put her hand into the water to grab a hold of some patches of fur, she lifted to examine them. They had chased the Avatar and his friends to a river side surrounded by a forest. Given that they were sleep deprived and too tired, they weren’t going to last longer.

“Wads of wet fur.” Mai spoke dryly. “How delightful.”

Some birds were singing under the warm sun – it was a nice, warm sunny day which reminded you of the upcoming summer.

“They are not wads, they are more like bundles, or bunches?” Ty Lee seemed thoughtful as she tried to find the right word to describe the fur swimming in the river. She scratched her head. “It’s got an ‘uh’ sound.”

You giggled. “I know this feeling – you will keep think about that word until you finally find it.” You grimaced. “It is super annoying.”

“I know!” Ty Lee agreed with you as she swung her arms in an exaggerated manner, her long braid swinging in the process.

“Clumps?” Mai suggested with the same, dry tone.

Ty Lee’s grey eyes shone with happiness as she clasped her hands together. “Clumps! They are clumps!” She hugged Mai, who didn’t even bother returning the embrace. You rolled your eyes at her dullness – it drove you insane sometimes, which made you wonder how you had managed to be best friends with her for all those years in the first place.

You were a passionate individual and you expected your friends, or the important people in your life in general, to share your passion and enthusiasm from time to time. However, you didn’t recall experiencing such an occasion with Mai.

Turning your attention to Azula, who was standing by the river, you raised an eyebrow at her. “All the fur in the river makes you wonder whether that thing simply flew over or instead dived into the water.”

Mai pointed in the direction of the trail, which lead into the forest. “The trail goes this way.”

For a moment, Azula looked in the direction of the trail as she carefully considered her options, then she looked upwards. Following her gaze, you too spotted the broken treetops. A frown appeared on your face. “Well, I don’t know many creatures that can cause something like this.”

Upon hearing your remark, Mai and Ty Lee looked into the direction you were pointing at. Perhaps they finally realised that the bison was causing them all the trouble by shedding its fur, you thought as you crossed your hands over your chest. They could have washed it, which would explain all the fur in the river.

“The Avatar is trying to give us the slip.” Azula said, you felt like you two had the same or at least similar chain of thoughts. The Princess pointed to the broken treetops. “You three head in that direction and keep your eye out for the bison.” Then, she turned her gaze to the fur trail. “I will follow this trail.”

You placed your right hand on her shoulder. “Do you believe that the Avatar awaits you alone, on his own?”

Azula nodded. “It would make sense for the other three to take the bison, the Avatar can move more easily when he is alone.”

“Oh, yeah – flying, you are right.” You said, you tended the forget the fact that he was the last airbender. “In that case, you will be perfectly fine on your own. I would rather accompany you; however, with the new earthbender girl in their group, I believe the girls need a firebender on their side.”

After a while you all mounted your mongoose lizards and started riding towards the different paths, a specific pair of traces caught your attention. They were the traces of an ostrich horse. You raised an eyebrow as you turned back to look at the trace. I though he had lost us along the way some time.

During the early hours of the morning, you had noticed someone following the tank train from afar. Even though the distance was simply too much for you to make out who the person was, there had been one very prominent feature on their face that gave out their identity almost immediately.

The scar.

However, after a few hours, you had lost sight of him; hence, you didn’t bother letting Azula know that Zuko had been using your trail to hunt down the Avatar. As it turned out, he wasn’t really gone – he had probably taken a short cut. And considering the traces, he was headed the same way as Azula.

You stopped your mongoose lizard abruptly, causing Mai and Ty Lee to stop as well. Mai sent you an annoyed look. “What is it?”

“I think I saw some earthbending traces back there, inside the forest.” You lied without even thinking twice. “The earthbender girl must have taken a separate way – you two go after the bison and the Watertribe people, I will hunt down the earthbender.”

Mai shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

Ty Lee waved at you before going back on track. “Good luck – be careful with the flying rocks!”

You smiled softly at her words. “And you watch out for the waterbender!”

After making sure the girls were both out of sight, you turned your mongoose lizard back and started following the track Zuko’s ostrich horse left. This time, I am going to face you instead of going back home in tears. You thought with a determined expression on your face, your amber eyes lacked the slightest bit of warmth inside them. And you are going to answer for what you have done to me.

[Time Skip]

Zuko shouted in a mixture of surprise and fear as you jumped in front of his ostrich horse with your mongoose lizard.

He was wearing a brown, sleeveless robe with a dark green, long-sleeved shirt and dark green pants underneath. You couldn’t help yourself but raise an eyebrow upon seeing how different his hair looked – it wasn’t in a top not anymore. Apparently, after your last encounter with him, he had cut off his hair and let it grow longer.

Bringing yourself back to the present moment and to the task at hand, you got off the mongoose lizard and crossed your hands over your chest. The long sleeves of your crimson, wrap shirt dangled with the wind. “Wipe that shocked expression off from your face, Zuko – we both knew this day would come.”

Your words had been enough to push the shock away from his features, which left its place to something that resembled mostly fury. The Banished Prince dismounted his ostrich horse with a frown. “What do you want?”

“Answers,” you spoke with a voice as cold as ice, your amber eyes were dark. “You are going to answer for what you have done to me that very day.”

At first, Zuko’s eyes widened with you mentioning the day he left the Fire Nation; however, he quickly gained control over his emotions and put back the frown. “I don’t have any time to waste,” he muttered with an annoyed tone as he tried to walk past you. Without even thinking, you punched forward, sending a wave of flames towards him.

Once again, Zuko was taken aback by your cold-heartedness. When he came back to his senses, it was almost too late – the Banished Prince rolled backwards to escape the flames in time.

“I didn’t ask whether you wanted to go through with this or not,” you said coolly as you broke your stance to stand straight. “After all, why should I show the slightest bit of concern to someone who didn’t even flinch while shattering my whole soul to a million pieces?!”

Towards the end, your voice became louder and louder, until the point you ended up screaming at his face.

Zuko spoke your name softly, which had your heart melting almost immediately as if he hadn’t been the cause of all that had hurt you over the last years. “Let this go, please – it has been three years and…”

Not even letting him finish, you interrupted him – the fury was raising within you, blinding your sight, and blurring your mind. At that moment, all you wanted to do was to scream out every buried thought, every silenced cry at him until you couldn’t speak anymore.

“So, is time supposed to magically make me forget everything you did, everything you said?” You asked scornfully as you pointed at him with your index finger in an accusing manner. “You… You said I was a burden, a baggage, a fucking deadweight!”

Zuko said your name once again. “Please… I am…”

You were shaking your head almost hysterically, you could feel the tears running down your cheeks. This was the mental breakdown you had been trying to avoid having for weeks now. “How can you expect me to forget that?!”

[Flashback]

“Please, let me come with you.” You whispered as you tried to turn your face away – you kind of felt ashamed for you were crying in front of Zuko’s whole crew. He cupped your face and made you look at him as he gently wiped away the tears leaving you amber eyes. “Zuko, I… I don’t know how to live here without you. I have… I have had you with me ever since I could remember…”

Even though his left eye was bandaged as a result of his father’s unthinkable cruelty, you could still see the tears forming in his right eye. But he managed to control his emotions not to show any weaknesses in front of his crew. “Love, we have talked about this,” he whispered towards your lips before leaving a small kiss. “I will be back before you know it. I promise.”

You shook your head – you didn’t want to stay in the Fire Nation while he went on this impossible journey to find the Avatar, who had been presumably already dead for centuries! A part of you knew that his journey was probably never going to end.

The simplest thought of not getting to see Zuko ever again made you want to throw out. You couldn’t imagine your life without him for you hadn’t known it otherwise. He had always been there, with you, and all your life, you grew up with the belief that you were going to become his wife someday.

The arranged marriage, which had been decided when you were born, was the main reason for you to grow up with Zuko – yes, but it also allowed this purest love of all to bloom between you two. From childhood best friends to childhood crushes and to young lovers.

He carried a piece of your heart and whether he wanted it or not, a part of you was going with him.

“Why?” You asked with a low voice. “Why won’t you take me with you?”

Zuko placed his lips on your forehead to leave a small kiss before speaking. “Your place is here, in the Fire Nation, where you can continue your studies and your training to pursue your dreams.” Slowly, he turned his look away from your eyes. “I would never forgive myself if I took that away from you.”

You pressed your lips against each other to silence a sob that dared to escape. “My place is with you…”

“My decision is final,” Zuko spoke with a soft voice, which carried still enough authority to put an end to your continuous attempts to change his mind. “But I am going to miss you more than anything...”

It felt impossible to form words, let alone talk. Hence, you placed your lips on top of Zuko’s instead of wasting time talking.

After the long farewell, you went home quickly to get the small gift you wanted to give to Zuko before he set sail in a few hours. You wanted to give him something that would bring him good luck on his mission and also make him remember you every time he looked at it.

It was the small replica of a red dragon made of metal, which hung at the end of a black chain. You thought Zuko could hang it by his desk or by his bed, keeping it in his personal space where he didn’t need to wear his façade anymore.

As you approached the ship, you could hear some voices coming from up on board. Upon hearing someone from the crew mentioning your name, you stopped in your tracks to listen to what was being said. You could already see Zuko standing with his back facing you, talking to that crewmate.

“My Prince, please forgive me for asking but,” the crewmate spoke with a respectful tone. “Why didn’t you allow her to join us?”

You heard Zuko heave a sigh before speaking. “I am afraid she would only be a burden to us – like baggage, she would just slow us down.” The gift of good luck you held slowly slipped between your fingers and fell onto the ground. Zuko shook his head. “I cannot allow any deadweight on board – and if any of you should become one, I will not hesitate to send them back!”

Biting your lower lip to silence your sobs, you turned back and ran away without even saying anything to Zuko, without facing him and without wishing him one last goodbye. You wanted to believe he was lying but the way he talked as he uttered those venomous words had been just too real, too true.

After that day, nothing was going to be the same for you.

[Flashback ends]

Wiping the tears away, you asked with a weak voice. “Why?”

Zuko turned his eyes away, his shame radiated off his body. “Does it matter?” He muttered. “After what I made you go through, does it really matter why I said what I said?”

You shook your head as a hysterical laughter left your lips. “Still, you are incapable of looking me in the eye and say it – say that you thought I was weak.” You didn’t realise it as the flames started to form around your clenched fists. “Say that you have lied to me every single day!” Control slowly slipped away from your fingertips. “You have never even loved me!”

What came next had been a shock to both of you.

As you screamed your sorrows away, you shot the flames – which had been growing around your fists – directly at Zuko. This was probably the very first time that you attacked him the same way you would attack any of your enemies. The reflection of the flames was visible in Zuko’s amber eyes and he seemed to be paralyzed – he had never met this side of you, he had never really been on the other side.

If he had dodged the flames with his firebending a second too late… Well, let’s say it would have been really unpleasant.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Zuko screamed at you, still not returning your attack as you circled each other. “Why would you attack me like that? And… and why would you say that I have never loved you?”

“If you had loved me, even just a little,” you told him as you stopped moving in a circle to point at him with an accusing manner. “You would have never hurt me the way you did.” Raising an eyebrow at his direction, you asked sarcastically. “Do you like the person you have turned me into?”

Zuko shook his head. “No, I didn’t do this to you,” he said with a low voice. “This is you under Azula’s influence.”

His words made you throw your head back and let out a laughter that had the hints of condescending, amusement, and little bit… craziness?

“Oh, you do believe that Azula is manipulating me into being one of her puppets?” You asked with genuine curiosity in your voice as you realised the seriousness surrounding Zuko’s features. “My dear Zuko, you have never been more wrong in your life – I am with Azula because I want to, because I deeply care about her. And no, this,” you pointed at yourself, “is not her doing. I should thank you for giving me the push to become more invincible than ever.”

It was hard to understand what was going on inside Zuko’s mind for his amber eyes didn’t give it all away; however, you could feel the hints of longing, disappointment, and jealousy circling around him all at once. It felt like an emotional turmoil.

His voice almost cracked when he spoke. “So, you… replaced me with her?”

At first, you wanted to say that you had replaced him with Shuzi, but you quickly realised that it wasn’t true. Shuzi had a different spot, and it was under no circumstances close to that of Zuko – his place wasn’t completely occupied. However, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that Azula was the only person closest to that very place in your heart.

You pursed your lips. “Well, you can say that – to a certain extent. Speaking of Azula,” you moved away from Zuko’s way as you walked towards your mongoose lizard. “Despite how much I do want to fight you, it is Azula’s destiny to be the one who faces you. Thus, I am going to let you be on your way.” Upon seeing the shocked expression on Zuko’s face, you shrugged. “I have already given her a head start.”

Remembering what his main goal was – he had completely forgot about the Avatar – Zuko quickly mounted his ostrich horse. “You were wrong though,” he said as he rode past you, his voice was low but still, you could hear him. “I did love you. Every single day.”

With that, Zuko disappeared from your sight, leaving you with more questions than you initially had before finally facing him.

[Time Skip]

After Zuko was gone, you returned to join Mai and Ty Lee, only to find both of them soaking wet, sitting by the river. Using your firebending to dry them both, you told that the earthbender girl had escaped from you by going underground like a badgermole. Not long after, Azula joined you three as well, she seemed quite tired.

As you all rode back to the tank train on your mongoose lizards, the Princess told you what had happened: how the enemies and the traitors had worked together to corner her and how she had shot Uncle Iroh with fire to create enough diversion to escape. You couldn’t help yourself but feel terrible for Iroh – you didn’t think he deserved to be Azula’s victim – but you kept your thoughts to yourself.

“Mai told me you didn’t go with her and Ty Lee,” Azula said as you two walked towards the tank train. Mai and Ty Lee were already inside. “Did you really chase the eartbender girl?”

You shook your head, you weren’t going to lie to Azula. “I actually chased Zuko, I just needed a valid excuse to go on my own way without… you know, letting Mai involve herself as well.”

A small frown formed on Azula’s face as she stopped walking. “Zuko? How did you know he was following us?”

“I saw him earlier today from a distance, then he disappeared so I didn’t really think he could keep up with our pace.” You explained as you crossed your arms over your chest. After everything you had gone through, you felt exhausted – not physically, but rather emotionally. “But I saw him in the woods once again after you went your own way. I wanted to finally face him and be free of everything weighing me down.”

Azula nodded at your words, the firm expression slowly disappeared, leaving itself to curiosity. “I understand – in that case, I forgive you for not following my orders.” The edge of your lips curled upwards. “Did it work? Are you finally free of all that weight now?”

You nodded with a big smile forming on your face, almost reaching your amber eyes. Almost.

“I screamed at him everything I have been wanting to say to him ever since… you know, that day.” You spoke with a lower voice, not wanting to be heard by anyone. Shaking your head, you continued. “He is not even capable of owning up to his actions – he couldn’t tell me why he had… said all those things about me.”

Azula shrugged with an unamazed manner. “Well, what did you expect from Zuzu in the first place?” She said as she rested her left hand on the small of your back, leading you two into the tank train. “Still, I am glad that you are now lighter than ever.”

You forced the fake smile back onto your lips.

The problem was that you felt you carried more weight now that you had faced Zuko.

Over the years, you had made yourself deeply believe that he had never really loved you – this had been the only explanation you could find for his actions, your coping mechanism. However, now that you knew he had loved you all along, you felt more lost than ever.

More lost, more confused, more vulnerable.

#prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko x reader #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #princess azula #zuko #zuko x oc

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keshetchai · 1 year ago

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I think a huge problem in internet Judaism (also sometimes irl!) discussions is often that we're so focused on fighting or pushing back on misconceptions, Christian normativity, and distorted Christian ideas about our theology — that sometimes in the pursuit of this, we forget to approach a more complicated internal reality, or we overlook parts of our own religion while trying to not assimilate.

Things like the Talmud talking about Yom Kippur being a happy day. A lot of folks were surprised and didn't know there's a huge tradition that YK is supposed to be a positive holiday and many Jews observe with joy. Then some folks went on to elaborate that if someone wished them a happy Yom Kippur and they were Jewish it was fine, but if they were gentiles who simply didn't know anything and didn't bother to learn, then they were annoyed by the lack of care re: cultural nuance or whatever.

But like...of all the annoying christian-normative bullshit that exists — someone trying to wish me a happy holiday on a holiday that is noted to be solemn AND positive, but not really knowing anything about my religion — that doesn't really make a list of things I have time to be mad about! Or even irked by!

There's a lot of ways in which people are shitty and careless or make it obvious they consider our non-christian holidays an annoying quirk they have to acknowledge, but "happy yom kippur!" Is not one of them. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that I want other people to assume the best of me, even when I am the one who is socially awkward or ignorant, or stumbling around just trying to be an okay person. And sometimes I am the clueless one who has only a shallow understanding of someone's interior life/culture and I said/did nothing actually offensive but treated the situation the same way I treat similar ones in my own life because everyone has cultural blinders somewhere.

So sometimes, I have to look at other people doing The Thing and ask myself if it's at all malicious or harmful, and if it ISN'T, shouldn't I assume the best of another human bumbling around like I do all the time? "Hey thanks. Yeah I had a meaningful holiday."

Likewise, YES, we do have a history of wrestling with G-d and pushing back and asking questions and so on, but no, stiff-necked isn't wholly complimentary, it's...frequently the opposite of that. And the knee-jerk reaction is often to push back against Christianity and Islam vilifying Jews and their stubbornness/failures/wrongs in the Bible. Which is totally reasonable, there's a huge history of a theology of antisemitism and blaming there that impacts us today.

HOWEVER, we can push back against the antisemitic theologies and interpretations of these stories without necessarily having to recharacterize everything beyond recognition?

Yes, Abraham yelled at G-d that one time, and it was great. It may have even been a test of Abraham. Yes, Israel wrestles with G-d. Yes, the Jews in the desert complain to Moses they are dying of thirst and ask what was the point of leaving Egypt if they should only die while wandering instead?

Great. Love that. BUT ALSO: yes stiff-necked is not always a compliment. Yes, the Israelites struggled and made mistakes, and are utterly and painfully human just like people are today. Flawed. We are not so stiff-necked as to say we have not sinned!

Is anything as scary as a group that admits no flaws? No errors of judgment? Never questions themselves or learns from past mistakes? Idk to me, it's all very "with great responsibility comes great accountability, and power isn't the point here." Yes? If we take pride in the moments of arguing and the pushing back, then by that same token, we have to own the failings just as much to learn from. The relationship between G-d and Jews is a two way street.

It's not a failing to be an imperfect human, but it would be a failing to screw something up and then never admit it or keep doing it when you can change.

Idk I just...there's got to be ways we can dig into meaty and interesting stuff without having to constantly be like "just because some ancestors screwed up and G-d was angry at them doesn't mean you can say Jews lost the love of God and the covenant and were replaced you absolute weirdos."

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weirdmarioenemies · 11 months ago

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Happy Groundhog Day! I think it is so wonderful that there is an entire holiday dedicated to a specific burrowing rodent. Americans love this thing! And who wouldn't? Their burrows aerate soil, and provide homes for many other critters!

A lot of people wouldn't love the groundhog, actually. In 1883, the New Hampshire Legislative Woodchuck Committee put out a statement calling groundhogs "wayward sinners" whose grooming habits suggest good manners, but who in reality have "not made any material progress in social science". You think the Discourse is bad today? They used to form committees to complain about a squirrel's moral character!

However, this is not the extent of the disrespect toward groundhogs. It happens to this day, and we all take it for granted, and most don't even bother to realize it has to do with a marmot in the first place! Let's talk about...

Name: "Mole"

Debut: Whac-A-Mole

Sorry this picture is not very good. There are just not many pictures available that show that weird old "mole" figure that I have in mind specifically! Here's a green one.

Anyone familiar with the "Mole" series of animals will know that this is very much Not A Mole! The distinct head, the visible ears, the blunt nose, the buckteeth... this, my friend, is 100% Ground Squirrel! And this game is FAR from the only instance of moles and burrowing rodents being mixed up.

It actually makes sense that this mistake would happen, though! Moles are synonymous with burrowing, to the point unrelated burrowing animals are named after moles (including Mole Cricket, perhaps the ORIGINAL mole). But moles spend ALL their time burrowing, rarely if ever coming to the surface, so even though we all know moles, we are rarely blessed with SEEING moles. I have never seen a mole in person... yet! I would love to! Ground squirrels, such as groundhogs and prairie dogs, are also little burrowing critters, but these ones are commonly seen on the surface, ever alert. I think it's reasonable to mistake them for "moles"!

Alas, the popularity of Whac-A-Mole has cemented Ground Squirrel as essentially the "canon" Mole design for this context. And what a context that is! A classic, even GENRE-DEFINING game, all about whacking critters as they emerge from their burrows. So rude! They're not posing any danger, and the player isn't hunting them to eat, either. This is simply a game of spite. How DARE that rodent try to see the sun! This is just like Undertale.

Whac-A-Mole is one of the most straightforward types of game for any device with a touch screen or anything similar. Just gotta tap a thing! Very easy. This has led to such variations such as Whack-a-Monty from New Super Mario Bros., where the player bonks Monty Moles (more like Monty Gopher am I right) while sparing the many, many Luigis. Obviously, the Luigis must surface in order to initiate courtship, ensuring future generations of Luigis.

Now that I think of it, Mario is one of the only times I've seen the ethics of Whac-A-Mole called out, through the endangered Whacka from Paper Mario! I'm surprised the genre is not deconstructed more often (I love that this sentence is about Whac-A-Mole).

I think this is where I will end the post, because this silly game has so permeated human culture that I could go on and on and on! So strange that an entire animal now has a reputation of "pops out and gets bonked on the head". Conceptually, I certainly prefer the "parasitic aliens emerging from an astronaut's body orifices" aesthetic for this kind of game, but obviously kids aren't going out and bludgeoning real rodents because of this game, so whatever.

But still, what if instead of moles, the whacked entities were something humans have no problem attacking with a second thought...?

Get ready for an action-packed new game set in the Bowling universe!

#whac-a-mole #mole #groundhog #groundhog day #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako

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angelfleurry · 3 months ago

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To Understand - Nagito x Reader

This was privately requested by one of my lovely readers. I really hope I did well. I haven’t touched Island Mode in a year or so, so I did some research and I really hope I’ve done a good job. Thank you so much for messaging. It is always such a pleasure to write for you. Have a wonderful day/night <3

♡ You were a little hazy by the time you arrived on the island, not exactly fully out of it, but not fully with it either.

♡ You didn’t even have time to remember why you were on the ground, the sand holding you close, before seeing a figure stand over you.

♡ As your vision cleared up, you realised it was a boy who was stood over you.

♡ He honestly startled you a little as you slowly came to your senses.

♡ After all, bless him, he was just looming over you.

♡ But, still, you couldn’t help but appreciate the concern.

♡ He helped you to your feet, and that seemed to be where your attachment to him started.

♡ Truthfully, he didn’t expect you to actually stick with him after that.

♡ After all, to him it was a minor encounter. All he did was help you up, nothing to marvel at.

♡ But, that seemed to make you immediately at ease around him, and that intrigued him.

♡ A majority of your free times were spent on him, trying to get to know him, and always with some genuine interest that it truly did puzzle him.

♡ Still, he couldn’t say he hated it.

♡ What really got him though was your pure interest in what he had to say.

♡ There would come to be many a time in which you’d encourage him to, and then listen to him, speak his thoughts. Times where you’d sit there, or walk about, with him and so subtly ease him into discussing his perspective on things.

♡ For a while, he would stop himself, believing he was going too far.

♡ If he didn’t stop himself, he would apologise, instead resorting to belittling himself.

♡ If you tried to shut that behaviour down, he would apologise again, sometimes questioning why on Earth you’re so adamant he goes on, why the way he treats himself is of your concern.

♡ It comes off rather rude, but he’s honestly dumbfounded.

♡ He simply just can’t fathom it, really.

♡ It’s also odd to see you lose your temper at his antics, but it’s often just out of frustration for the repetition.

♡ You lose your patience with him every now and again, but you always try and make up for it.

♡ Sometimes, though, you do the same things he does, just in a different sort of way.

♡ You can become very self-pitying, just like he does, and it’s sort of comical to watch you two switch roles.

♡ He has a very…odd way of trying to comfort you?

♡ It’s more like disappointment that you’re even talking about yourself in such a way, but it sort of works…?

♡ Regardless…

♡ He’s used to being met with judgement when he talks, so the way you act is very new.

♡ Of course, he appreciates it a lot, despite his confusion.

♡ It’s nice to have a chance to share his ideals, to discuss his inner thoughts, without feeling like he’s being judged or as a bother.

♡ Honestly, you relate to Nagito sometimes, and that does a lot for him.

♡ But, it also does a lot for you as well.

♡ You’ve always been considered a little strange by people.

♡ If not strange, then there’s always been some sort of disconnect.

♡ You don’t understand why, but you also do.

♡ You know it’s because of the way you think, the way you feel, all of your perspectives.

♡ You know they differ from the rest, and that leads to people viewing you as a little abnormal.

♡ It’s also hard to properly interact with a majority of people as a result.

♡ But, what you don’t understand is why it has to be so intense.

♡ Don’t people know how to listen to other viewpoints anymore? Don’t people remember individuality?

♡ Why do they need to alienate you?

♡ Suppose that’s another reason you became so attached to Nagito.

♡ You felt seen in his presence, even if he was not directly addressing you.

♡ Seeing how everyone acted around him, and how his thoughts were treated, how he seemed to acknowledge it in such deluded acceptance, it was almost relatable in a way.

♡ It was nice to know you weren’t the only one who the world seemed to struggle to understand.

♡ In a way, that kind of fuelled a desire to befriend him.

♡ You didn’t want him to feel completely odd, like you had, but you also genuinely felt eager to be around him.

♡ It was nice to hear his own thoughts, his own perspective on things, and you wanted to let him know you didn’t find him peculiar for it.

♡ It’s good for him to have someone who he can relate to, good to have someone who can make him feel equal, human.

♡ This definitely had a hand in helping you both bond.

♡ He’s great to talk to about these things.

♡ Sometimes it feels like he’s just telling you these good things, but it comes to be that’s actually how he thinks of you.

♡ If you’re engaging in some sort of task together, you try to talk to him then too.

♡ If talking isn’t the mood, you smile at him.

♡ Honestly, you treat him with so much kindness and patience that it truly does baffle him.

♡ But, you make him feel like an equal, talent or no talent, and that does something to him.

♡ You treat him like you’ve been close to him for years, when in reality it’s only been a couple of weeks.

♡ Even if it’s only brief, the interactions he starts to have with you really begin to mean something special to him.

♡ It especially means a lot when he realises just how hesitant you are to engage with the others.

♡ With Nagito, it really seems like you’ve come into your own element, that you feel human around him.

♡ That makes him feel all warm inside.

♡ He’s seen how you react when your words aren’t given much thought, or when it seems that people do not understand you, or find you hard to relate to, and it always makes him feel some sort of sadness.

♡ You go into yourself, almost immediately silent, unsure as to whether you should even bother to try again.

♡ Just knowing you don’t feel accepted or understood by a group can discourage you.

♡ In fact, you feel out of place with a majority of the group.

♡ You’ve resorted to only saying a few light things, anxious to go any deeper.

♡ But, with Nagito, you can talk to him, and you feel understood; you feel seen.

♡ He loves to see you get all enthusiastic when you feel you’re properly heard, or you’re in welcoming company.

♡ It’s so nice to see you genuinely talking, not afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

♡ In a way, you two are like a support system for one another.

♡ It’s not dependence, but rather the mutual understanding that there is someone who understands, or cares enough to listen.

♡ After a while, you two became very warmed up to one another.

♡ It’s gotten to the point where the two of you are recognised as some sort of almighty duo, even if you aren’t together.

♡ Nobody dares to talk badly of Nagito when you’re around, because they know you’re sworn to him.

♡ Or, on a more lighter note, if anyone needs to find you, they know who to go to.

♡ And, of course, vice versa.

♡ Knowing this makes him feel…unreal, almost?

♡ Like, to know someone so lovely as you is now associated with the likes of him?

♡ It makes him giddy but also worries him at the same time.

♡ But, seeing you so happy to be around him kind of calms him, whilst also raising the questions of “why?”.

♡ The first time you hugged him altered EVERYTHING he had previously thought of you.

♡ It wasn’t even a result of a deep conversation or anything of the sort.

♡ You’d simply seen him approach during a block of free time, and this had excited you enough to excuse yourself and bound away from the group you were stood with just to launch onto him.

♡ This startled Nagito at first, who was rendered speechless as he stood there.

♡ But then, he managed to hug you back, quietly greeting you as he did so.

♡ Something about the way you so eagerly ran to him, the way you seemed so excited for him to even be in the vicinity, it just made him all emotionally tangled inside.

♡ And, though this occurred to him later that night, holding you close was nice.

♡ It felt so natural, and that rewired him in some way.

♡ Still, he kept that to himself for a while, not wanting to destroy the bond you’d formed.

♡ He valued you too much to do so.

♡ And perhaps the complex he held had something to do with that decision.

♡ But, things come to be, and he’s now yours.

♡ Nagito gets a little dizzy every time he comes to make this revelation.

♡ It’s almost too perfect, does he even deserve it?

♡ And, yet, there you are.

♡ Words of affirmation are also very important between the two of you.

♡ You started doing this very early on into your friendship with him.

♡ Just little things, more so for reassurance, but they only kept going.

♡ Now, they’re a key part of your relationship.

♡ You’ll say them whenever, wherever.

♡ Nagito could be engaging in some sort of task, and just as he goes to search for you with his gaze, he’ll hear you utter something.

♡ “You’re doing great.”

♡ That makes him a little bashful, and he’ll try to downplay it after thanking you, but the fact you noticed enough to say anything, especially a positive something, makes him feel a little relieved.

♡ But, it’s specifically the times where you affirm around those things he’s insecure of that make him feel so incredibly loved.

♡ He could start to go off on a tangent, and you’ll patiently listen, giving him that time he needs, before slipping in words so affirming it makes him second guess everything he’s ever told himself.

♡ “You’re worth so much more than you think you are” is one that GREATLY messes with his emotions, in a good way, whilst also spiralling some sort of shamed confusion within him.

♡ He struggles to believe the things you tell him sometimes, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust you.

♡ He just has a lot of things going on in his head.

♡ But, to be told things in such a validating manner by the person he loves the most really does help him.

♡ It’s like a blanket, and he’s safe under it.

♡ Even just reminding Nagito that you love him makes him feel so secure.

♡ You could be sat reading with him, and just casually tell him so.

♡ Any scenario, just tell him you love him, genuinely remind him; it makes him feel so ecstatic.

♡ He’s also good at returning these words.

♡ His come from a place of whimsical admiration, but he means it all.

♡ He’s so proud of you, so enamoured by you, and he just wants to make sure you know you’re so incredible.

♡ He gradually gets more clingy with you as the relationship extends.

♡ He’s still a little hesitant, but only of his own worries, but he gets better at being affectionate.

♡ Hand-holding is good, it helps calm him down, and he just loves having you connected with him.

♡ If you play with his hair, or brush through it, he doesn’t know what do.

♡ Probably just sits there red in the face and offering to focus on you instead, as he feels that’s what he should do.

♡ But, you reassure him you like doing this.

♡ And then you compliment him, and smile at him, and he shuts right up and lets you carry on.

♡ After all, it makes you happy.

♡ And, if you’re happy, he’s happy.

♡ But the way you always look out for his own individual happiness makes him even more happier.

♡ He loves you so much.

♡ You two are in each other’s corner, and it’s created such a positive environment for Nagito.

♡ He just hopes he’s doing more than enough for you.

♡ Because to him, you deserve the world.

#danganronpa imagines #danganronpa scenarios #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa #x reader #goodbye despair #nagito komaeda #nagito komeada x reader

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ploxpoke · 1 year ago

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Izana X fem!reader

Tw- Smoking, mentions of violence, bad words (lmao)

Fluff with Izana bc I love him <3

Title: ♥ Out Of My League ♥

Izana was in your grade, and despite the two of you being in vastly differing social circles, Izana was interested in you. He’d been watching you for a while now, but he knew better than to approach you head on. He didn’t know what made you attractive to him but all he wanted was your attention. He wanted to make sure you were safe, comfortable, and protected.

One day Izana saw you walk up to the roof, presumably to eat lunch. He followed you up and he watched you sit down and begin to eat your lunch and took this as an opportunity to talk to you. He walked towards you, his face fixed into a cold and calculating expression. He looks down at you and asks “Who are you?”

You were shocked by his sudden appearance and felt your heart skip a beat. You turned around slowly and looked at him with wide eyes. Your cheeks were flushed from both embarrassment and surprise and you hesitated before answering

“I-I'm Y/n”

You say quietly, trying not to sound too timid. You glanced back towards your food before speaking again

“And uh- I came here to eat my lunch today, since it's pretty empty up here and all... “

You pause for a second before you feel a pang of guilt, you were probably bothering him you told yourself.

“Do you eat here? Am I in the way?”

You asked while looking up at him nervously, wondering if he would react negatively to your presence. “I'm sorry- I can just leave if you'd like.” You quickly stand up, about to leave. You feel a sense of dread and you hope he's not too mad at you. “I'm sorry-”

Izana raises an eyebrow at your response, clearly surprised by your reaction to his presence, but he maintains his cold demeanor nonetheless. He leans against the wall beside you, crossing one leg over the other as he observes you carefully. His eyes narrow slightly, taking note of your nervous behavior and the fact that you seemed to be struggling with whether or not you should stay.

“You’re not in the way,Y/n. You can stay here if you want to, I don’t mind.” He says simply, causing your heart to flutter “So, why do you come up here to eat alone?”

You felt a surge of relief upon hearing him say that you could stay, but then you noticed how his tone had changed and he asked you why you were alone. You froze for a second, unsure of how to answer him.

You didn't want to seem rude or disrespectful, but at the same time, you didn't want to give him an honest answer, since the truth was that you were ruthlessly bullied. “Uh... I don't really have many friends, so I thought it would be better to be alone. I like the quiet mostly” You said quietly, not meeting his gaze and keeping your eyes glued to the ground. You had tried to keep your answer short and sweet, hoping that he wouldn't pry more into your personal life and prayed he'd leave you alone instead of messing with you.

You felt some guilt for not telling the whole truth but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Despite saying that, you still hoped that he wouldn't think you were some kind of loser or something, even if you were to most people, because you really did like him and he was quite popular with the girls at school.

Izana listened intently to your response, his expression remaining impassive, but internally, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pity for you. He had always been fascinated by those weaker than him, and now that he had identified you as someone who needed protection, he found himself drawn to you even more.

However, he knew that he couldn't let anyone see this vulnerability, especially not someone like you.

“Fine, I understand, Y/n.” He said softly, still maintaining his cold exterior but somehow making it sound more gentle at the same time.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, offering you one without actually asking if you wanted one. “Would you mind lighting mine for me?”

You were taken aback by his request, feeling your cheeks turn bright red from both shock and embarrassment. You’d never smoked a cigarette before nor did you plan to, but despite that, you agreed to light his cigarette for him.

“Uhm- sure, I guess I can”

You lit his cigarette, your hands shaking slightly as you did so having never used a lighter.

You don't exactly like smoking, but you don't say anything about it. you can smell the smoke and your face scrunches a little from the smell. You keep your eyes focused on the ground and you try to ignore the fact that you hate the smell of smoke

Izana watched you closely as you lit his cigarette, noticing your discomfort with the scent of the cigarette smoke, but he maintained his cold exterior. He took a deep drag from the cigarette, exhaling slowly, causing the smoke to swirl around him. He then leaned forward slightly, reaching out with his free hand to take yours, pulling you closer to him and placing the cigarette between your lips.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly against him while whispering into your ear

“Take a deep breath, Y/n.. Inhale deeply.” He commanded, his voice low and firm, but also strangely gentle at the same time.

Your heart raced as you felt his strong embrace and you took a deep breath, inhaling the cigarette smoke that fills your lungs. You coughed slightly, trying to hide your discomfort and you looked up at him through your lashes, but still not daring to look into his eyes. You quickly look back down, not wanting him to notice you staring at him.

Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were wide, but your body relaxed slightly against his as he held you close. The scent of the cigarette filled your nose and made you slightly nauseous, but you didn't complain. You feel a slight burn in the back of your throat and you hate the sensation.

You coughed a little more and the taste of tobacco and smoke was stuck in your mouth and you hated it but you didn't dare say a word about it. You never wanted this moment to end.

The cigarette smoke mixed with the scent of his cologne and you breathed it in deeply, savoring every moment of being close to him, even though you knew you shouldn't. You tried to focus on everything but the disgusting smell and taste of the cigarette. You can't bring yourself to look at him but you can feel him staring at you.

Izana watched you closely as you took a deep breath, taking note of your discomfort with the cigarette smoke. He saw your hesitation and decided to pull the cigarette away from your lips, putting it out on the roof of the building before he placed it back in his pocket.

He then wrapped his arms around you even more tightly, pulling you against his chest and resting his chin on top of your head.”You don't like it, do you?” He asked softly, his voice full of concern.

Despite his dominating nature, he genuinely cared about your comfort and well-being. His arms tightened around you, squeezing you reassuringly as he whispered into your ear. “It's alright if you don't like it.”

He could tell you were worried about something and he murmured to you, his voice honey sweet, “Don't worry, y/n. You're safe here with me.” His tone was low and soothing, but also possessive, as if he was claiming you as his own.

You nodded against his chest, not looking at him, but feeling his strong arms around you and his warmth. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body and it made you feel safe, despite the fact that he was a stranger to you.

You couldn’t bring yourself to care that you didn’t know him that well, you just felt protected. You felt his lips near your ear and you turned your head slightly, wanting to look at him but something in your mind told you you didn’t deserve to so you don't and instead you stare at the ground

“Yeah... I really don't like it.” You whispered back, not meeting his gaze. You felt his chin on your head and smiled slightly. You could tell he was smiling but you still don’t look up at him.

“The taste is gross and the smell makes me want to throw up... reminds me of things I don't want to remember like...-”

You trailed off, not finishing your sentence. You shudder a little and you open your mouth to say something else when you hear people walking up the stairs to the roof. You realize that it's people you usually see Izana with. Other students say they're all in a gang, and you hold your breath for a second nervously. You know those people, and they're not the nicest. You always tended to believe that at least some of them were in gangs.

Izana heard the footsteps approaching and immediately recognized the sound of his friends, the members of the Tenjiku gang. He tightened his arms around you slightly, pulling you even closer to him as he glanced over his shoulder towards the source of the noise.He spoke softly into your ear

“Don't worry, Y/n”.. They won't bother us right now.”

He said reassuringly, even though he knew that wasn't entirely true. His friends often came to the rooftop to hang out with him, and occasionally they would get rowdy and start fighting or arguing with each other. But for now, he wanted to keep you safe from their prying eyes and judgmental gazes.

"Well, they won't bother you... maybe each other but I won't let them bother you…”

You listened to his words and felt a sudden surge of relief. You didn't know why, but the thought of his friends seeing you with him, especially since he’d never really spoken to you before made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

You didn't understand why, but your gut told you to be wary of him and you couldn't help but listen to it. As the footsteps grew closer, you held your breath and felt his arms tighten around you. You knew he was protecting you, but there was something in his demeanor that told you that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to you.

You hide your face, not wanting anyone to see you at all anymore. You knew the people weren't going to leave and you knew Izana wouldn't let you leave so you did your best to avoid eye contact and kept your eyes on the ground

The footsteps stopped and you heard voices, and you recognized two of them as people you’ve seen Izana talking to quite often. you know who they are, Rindou and Ran Haitani .

The two brothers were calling out for Izana, and when they saw him, they didn't notice you at first. Several other boys joined them before they realized you were even there. Izana kept his grip on you tight and the boys just stared at you for a second, not knowing how to react to your presence.

Rindou and Ran, stopped in front of Izana, their faces filled with surprise as they noticed him holding onto you. Rindou glanced at you briefly before turning back to Izana, his eyebrow raised in question.

"Izana... Who's this? You've got a grip on her like you don't want her running away. Did she do something?"

Rindou asked curiously, while Ran frowned in confusion, clearly not understanding why Izana had brought someone up here with him.

"She looks pretty frail, you might break her if you're not careful" Ran jokes

One of the other members of the gang; Kanji, walked over to join them, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he looked at them. "What's going on here?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared.

"What'd she do huh? We need to kick her ass or something?" He glanced at you with an unimpressed expression.

You flinched as the boys started asking questions, and youI felt extremely vulnerable and exposed, but Izana's tight grip around you and his reassuring presence gave you strength.

You didn't dare speak up, and you didn't move an inch. You felt like a doll in his hands, and you hated it, but you also knew that if you moved or tried to run away, nothing good would come out of it. So, you remained silent, trying to stay as calm as possible

You gripped part of Izana's coat in reflex when you heard them mention you doing something. You could feel the fear bubble up from your chest and tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes but you will yourself not to cry in front of them. A small whimper left you as you closed your eyes, trying not to panic.

You looked around and you saw a few people who you knew because they had bullied you but, you weren't worried about that. You were more worried about Ran, Rindou and especially Kanji's words.

You didn't know what was going to happen, let alone if Izana decided you did do something to deserve being beat up. You tremble slightly and you feel Izana's grip tighten even more

Izana scowled at the implication that anyone might hurt you from Kanji's comment, his grip on you tightening even further as he glared at the member of the gang. Ran and Rindou exchanged confused glances, not understanding why Kanji would immediately decide to choose violence.

"Fuck off, Kanji," Rindou snapped "She hasn't done anything wrong yet you dickhead." Ran nodded in agreement, looking at you with concern yet still had an amused grin on his face

Kanji rolled his eyes at their comments, unimpressed by their defense of you. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, glaring at all of you.

"Oh yeah? Then what's she doing clinging onto him like a lost puppy then? Looks like she's scared of something"

Ran scoffed and shot him a dubious glance "She's afraid of you asshat. You're not nice to anyone and you just threatened her..." Ran spoke casually and his words were long and drawn out.

Izana's hand tightened around your waist as he sensed your fear, and he whispered softly into your ear so that only you could hear him, "Don't worry, Y/n. Trust me, they won't hurt you. I won't let them."

He spoke reassuringly, even though he knew that he couldn't guarantee your safety completely. He hoped that his words would comfort you enough to ease your fears somewhat. The three members of the gang approached you cautiously, sizing you up as they studied your appearance.

Rindou and Ran exchanged glances, their expressions hardening slightly as they took note of your trembling and the way you clung onto Izana's coat while Kanji just looked angry. The three of them watched you and the way you responded to their stares with interest.

You heard Izana's words and felt a little more confident, but you were still very much scared. You look up at him and see that he said something to the guys, but you didn't quite hear what. You look back at the guys and you see how they study you. You think they look like they want to hurt you, but Izana's words made you feel safer, so you trusted him.

You believed him.

You slowly let go of his coat, but you kept your hands on it since it made you feel safer. You heard Rin and Ran talking, and looked at them with wide eyes, they seemed to be having a disagreement. You couldn't understand what they were saying, but you knew that they were arguing about something related to you.

You see Kanji glaring at you from the corner of your eye and you feel your panic come back but as your breathing picks up you feel Izana's hand lift your chin up to make you look at him.

He smirked and leaned closer to you slowly. This got the attention of everyone.

Ran and Rin stared with grins on their faces, as if they knew what Izana was going to do and Kanji looked even more angry. You open your mouth to say something to Izana only to be shushed by his lips on yours. Your whole body freezes up and Izana smirks into the kiss before pulling away and looking at the members of Tenjiku. He noticed how their expressions changed from anger to curiosity to realization as they watched him kiss you.

He knew that this would catch their attention and distract them momentarily from their plans to intimidate you as well as show why he was so interested in keeping you close. His hand rested on your cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb while his other hand wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him.

He saw the confusion and surprise on everyone’s faces, including yours, as they realized what had just happened, and he enjoyed every second of it.

Ran and Rindou exchanged amused glances, their earlier argument forgotten as they observed the scene unfold before them. Ran elbowed Rindou and grinned widely at him and Rindou handed him something that looked suspiciously like money.

Ran snickered softly, "Well fuck, looks like someone's got themselves a girlfriend already"

Rindou just chuckled, and gave Ran a playful nudge. “Don’t act surprised. You called it.”

You stare up at Izana who just grins down at you and you can't help but to flush from his gaze. You look back down at the ground and you mutter something so quiet that not even Izana could hear.

Izana came closer to you and you see him still smirking. He says something to the members of Tenjiku again, this time he was more direct. You heard him say "You better not try to fuck with her, you better not even think about laying a finger on her. She’s mine"

He emphasized the word 'mine' with a slight growl, making it clear he wouldn’t hesitate to protect you from anyone who dared to even consider hurting you. He lowered his hand to the small of your back and he grinned at you sweetly before leaning down and pressing another kiss to your lips.

"Is now a bad time to ask you to be my girl?" He says in a teasing tone before whispering in your ear "I've been waiting for a chance to ask and I doubt there will be a better time than now" He kissed you all over your face.

You just nodded and whispered yes over and over to him until he kissed your lips again and laughed with you. He smiled at you and held you close to him and said with the sweetest smile

"God, you're out of my league"

#izana kurokawa #izana x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fluff #izana fluff

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