#actually I don’t think I can explain the plot of the locked tomb

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

Do you think Solas pulled a Harrowhark Nonagesimus on us or…

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTE; Gideon Nav propaganda below Narrator's, as poll maker decided to cut some under Read More for post length

The Narrator Propaganda:

Just... Just listen to the "unfunny" clip, what's more to say, vote for the gay old guy

Depending on the ending, he can be

Spoilers I guess??? He's always trying to guide Stanley to the outcome HE wants, which is a very, very small chunk of the game where the player just obeys everything and doesn't experience anything else. Obeying Narrator to a T will win you the "Freedom" ending, where Stanley can finally leave the office building, and Narrator will wax on about how Stanley's "happy" and "finally free to live at last". ...exceeeept, on completion, Stanley will spawn right back in the building as though nothing happened, restarting the adventure all over again. The truth is that Stanley will never be free, regardless of what the Narrator says. Stanley is trapped in the building and will stay trapped no matter what. This truth can only be acknowledged if you're defiant, and even then, I may be mistaken but I'm pretty sure the Narrator never fully admits this??? The museum ending has a WHOLE DIFFERENT narrator explain their mutually fucked circumstances. The dishonest factors can increase in other ways from the player's input (for example, the Narrator might say "Stanley walked through the left door", but the player can use their input to defy this statement and go through the right one instead, therefore making the Narrator's statement inherently dishonest and the Narrator will get pissy about it, changing the outcome for that path). Sometimes he'll misdirect when he's petulant, especially if the player is directly defying his instructions, which makes the game feel like a game of tug-rope for control at points. I want to say there are times where he directly attempts to trick the player but admittedly I can't think of an exact instance. Plus you know, the Narrator has a large ego and always talks big about things like his importance and integrity and whatnot so who knows how much of that is even sincere and how much is a sad veneer, but that's getting into overanalysis territory and my fingers hurt so let's leave this here. I hope this was coherent.

he quite literally rewrites the story whenever he has issues with the direction stanley starts to go in, i do not know how to explain it better than that

He is literally the narrator, and he constantly tries to mislead and lie to Stanley through the narration to get him back on the story’s proper path

He constantly narrates what Stanley is feeling as if it is the truth, when it is not. He speaks as a authority, and while he is one, he is definitely not reliable.

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 42 Pt 2: We are All Warhammer Minis

Last we left off, Bakura just reminded Yami that he did, in fact, invite him to play a Shadow game, and then Yami just kinda never realized the game had started. Yami was warned, Bakura explains, It’s not like he wasn’t told exactly what would happen.

Which is a weird ass thing to say, when it like involved Bakura crashing Yami’s funeral.

Like Yami was supposed to DIE in that tomb, right? Like he was gonna find peace and happiness and then peace the hell out of Yugi’s haunted bean. But instead of perma-dying, he’s freakin stuck here. With Bakura. For the end of his days. His very worst frenemy. The ultimate trap. What a weird way to hang out with Bakura, getting trapped like this.

It is interesting how the Alexander the Great arc actually does play into this arc. Shada did make a model of the past for them to fight in, and now Bakura’s doing the same except way more dramatic because unfortunately it alters history.

(read more under the cut)

Don’t think too much about what would even happen to Yugi and friends if you damage or move anything from 5000 years ago. Like I’m pretty sure you can knock over a few cans of ancient Egyptian paint and just Greece would have ceased to exist. That’s how tenuous changing the past seems to me, if I have learned anything from Twilight Zone.

The fact that without Yugi existing in the future, would mean Yami would not have been able to alter the past: don’t think about that. Shadow Realm means we don’t think about that. Shadow Realm does what it pleases.

That or this show is going to split off into hundreds of multiverses just like Marvel and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

Also, we are informed that the rainbow filter is not so much of a Aknadin technique as it is a Bakura’s busted hourglasses technique.

Also it took me 2 watches of this episode, making the caps, editing this out, to realize that he has the hourglass sideways. The three hourglasses are just hourglasses in three directions, sand going down, sand going up, or sand staying still. Holy crap, y’all, long covid: my brain took way too long to realize that.

But we got there!

Did I go “wtf” when Joey was like “ah, I could get used to this!” Yes, yes I did.

At that point, Zorc shows up to give Aknadin a wish, I guess. Like a genie.

And then he was immediately doused in purple gatorade.

You may be wondering “hey, but I thought you can’t make Zorc because Yami locked Zorc away when he lost his own damn name” and don’t worry, Bakura already thought about that.

I guess the function of the last hourglass is “I put a gun to the plot and told it to step forward or I swear to Gods, I will shoot.” He can bend future time one single time at his will, and waited this long to use it. Probably because youknow, it’s Bakura, he’s not going to choose any time to do this but the very rudest time to do so.

Back at Casa Pharaoh, Tristan has made it to the chamber of legs. Notice how Yami’s Dad is the only guy who was like “Hell no, I’m not shaving for my portrait, just draw me in a robe.” Just like me every time I decide to wear tights with a skirt.

Turns out that yes, Yami deleted his own name just everywhere. The curse he got cursed with was very effective.

And back at Aknadin and his awkward family reunion, Seto is kind of over having a family and it’s only been like less than a minute of having one.

No, they did not have a moment of “Wait! Yami is my cousin???” which like, asking your Son to kill his cousin sure is moment. Also the moment of realizing your cousin is 2 feet shorter than you and trying to figure out how that works.

And now, Seto’s Dad looks like this guy:

It’s a look. It’s a card somewhere.

So, in a moment that was hard to cap, Aknadin decided to blast everyone in the face with a plasma beam, and out of the clouds comes Hassad, here to block to blows and take a fireball the chest, like a trooper.

Now if you don’t remember Hassad, he was a hallucination that Pharaoh had in the cave before he saw himself as a literal baby and was like “yikes” and left the cave. Turns out, Hassad is the protector of the Pharaohs, and is finally here to do his damn job.

After Yami, uh, already died once, but youknow what? Better late than never, Hassad!

But unfortunately, this means we’re back at square one, that’s right, it’s time to duel again!

But like, next episode. don’t worry. It’s next episode.

phew.

Like seriously Yugi has done more damage to planet earth than most anime children. Power to him.

And then as I was capping I realized something about Dartz, and I said “I’ll find a way to organically fit this into the commentary” and maybe if I had a better brain I would have done that. Instead, an aside about Dartz’s season that I keep thinking about this season with Bakura.

Because never forget Dartz walked into Cairo, saw Yami, and was like “neat, I’m gonna steal his power” and then saw Bakura and then immediately turned around. When like, this is all that Bakura does.

This leaves so many questions about Bakura and who he was before he was possessed by the spirit of the ring, and when he got possessed by the ring, since he was supposed to be in prison right? So...that was one pissed off prisoner to just have VIBES that were enough to throw off Dartz.

Anyway, that’s all for now, as per usual, here is the link to read these from the beginning, if you so desire. I know my update schedule is so slow atm, but my backlog is pretty freakin strong at this point so there’s more, if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[esseastri]

OK NO WAIT, REAL TALK AFTER MY TAGS ON THE MEME POST (x)

listen, I was on the Locked Tomb train before it was even a thing, like, my store got a BOUND MANUSCRIPT, that’s what they out BEFORE advance reader copies, it was like. pages stapled together with glue with giant margins like. listen. We were OG Locked Tomb fans, I don’t say this to brag, I say this for context:

Gideon the Ninth is straight up one of my favorite books in the history of books. I was recommending it to people before there was a release date. but I 100% always recommended it with the caveat, “please be aware, this book is batshit wild. properly, deeply wild.” It’s not for everyone and I was BLUNTLY HONEST about that even as I shoved it at everyone I could. even people who I didn’t think would like it, I was STILL like “LISTEN, BEAR WITH ME, GIVE IT A TRY, IT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU” and 90% of them came back like “Whut. Did I read?” and I was like “I KNOW RIGHT”

and then we spent two years doing theories for Harrow the Ninth and then we got the ARC and I swear to god I have only twice before in my life been as disappointed as I was when I got through Act 2 of Harrow. and when I started recommending it to people, I gave out WARNINGS. I was like, “pls understand, this book is DENSE and it is a SLOG but it will be worth it if you can make it through and if you can’t NO HARD FEELINGS.”

Like.

My friends.

I know this is dangerous to say on this website, but honestly, from the very deepest part of my soul: the beginning of Harrow the Ninth is not good. like. it is? but it’s not, because it’s 300 pages of WHAT THE FUCK with absolutely no plot hooks, a crapton of infodumping, and an impenetrable hunk of worldbuilding and magic theory that do not make sense until you get to the end of the book. 

It took me until Chapter 36 to be like, “...aight I’ll finish it.”

and then I did finish and I was like “somehow this is better than gideon but I cannot explain that?? and I don’t actually know what happened but I’m ok with that??” and then I IMMEDIATELY started reading it out loud to Lisa and I was on page like, six, and I was like, “OH. I GET IT.” and I spent the entire time I was reading to Lisa teasing her with theories and letting her theorize and it was great. but honestly, I DID NOT ENJOY THE PROCESS OF READING HARROW THE FIRST TIME I READ IT. I genuinely didn’t like this book until I REREAD it.

And I honestly think that’s a deep weakness of Harrow, because a book should be able to stand on its own without a reread. Authors shouldn’t take 480 pages to string their readers along--I LIKE figuring stuff out on my own, but at some point, I just want a damn fucking clue. Not even the whole answer, just a clue. And Taz is VERY STINGY with those in Harrow. And it is DEEPLY FRUSTRATING from a craft standpoint. This is absolutely one of those books that SHOULD NOT WORK but does.

So I just want to say to everyone who feels like they still don’t GET Harrow--I SEE YOU I AM WITH YOU I UNDERSTAND YOU. If you’ve got the energy to reread it, DO THAT, because it 10000% makes more sense when you can parse what part is what, what’s going on with Sideways World, and why Harrow is Like That. You’re not alone, I promise you, if your entire process of reading Harrow was just

with a side of

THAT IS OK. that’s like. the point. I know people who just dropped the series because of how damn DENSE Harrow is, and that’s TOTALLY FAIR. It is absolutely not what is expected after Gideon. AT ALL. and if you’re looking for more story/tone/content LIKE Gideon, you’re actually far better off reading THE UNSPOKEN NAME than Harrow the Ninth [insert shameless plug for other top tier queer SFF novel] and it took me until I finished Harrow to figure out what Taz was doing. Like--I am 10000% DOWN for series in which none of the books are the same, they are wild and I LOVE IT, but god the expectations were WILD and Harrow was a 180 that I did not see coming. and I do genuinely think that the biggest weakness of Harrow is that Taz did not actually give us enough info to figure anything out before Act 5.

Don’t get me wrong, it works for some people!!! But for some of us, holy shit, it just feels broken.

ALL THIS TO SAY: NONA IS NOT LIKE THIS. If you read Harrow (or if you gave up on Harrow (which-FAIR)), I will say that Nona is worth it. Nona is worth the absolute SLOG that is Harrow because Nona rewards you for paying attention. (Harrow does not. Harrow just tells you what you missed and it’s annoying.) But because NONA the CHARACTER is actively trying to figure out what the fuck is happening in NONA the BOOK, you get way more info and it’s actually possible and satisfying to figure out what is going on. Because HARROW the CHARACTER spends all of HARROW the BOOK trying to AVOID THE PLOT WITH ALL HER MIGHT, it’s just kinda frustrating. But if you can stick with her, I promise Nona the Book is worth it.

ok, coming down off my high horse full of opinions but just. idk. tumblr has a LOT of opinions about Harrow and I have not seen a lot of support for people who uh. Don’t like that one. as much as Gideon or even at all. but it is absolutely different enough that it makes perfect sense for people to find Harrow frustrating! So if you’re one of those ppl, just know you’re not alone, one of the OG Locked Tomb fans is with you (it’s me, hi), and just come party with Nona where everything is better.

[dude1818]

I posted 2,144 times in 2022

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Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i thought the izutsumi thing was because she was affected by the same pacification magic that suppressed monster behavior in the village

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

One of the neat things about The Locked Tomb is the times that a character who's hiding something lets slip what they really mean, but in a way that you don't get until you reread it. It's like a fridge joke but emotional (which is different than foreshadowing, because you don't even realize there was a shadow at the time).

My favorite example in Gideon the Ninth is when "Dulcinea" is asked why she decided to become a Lyctor, and she says "because I didn't want to die." Past tense, because she's already a Lyctor. Only the second time do you realize that Cytherea didn't want to die.

This happens in Harrow the Ninth too, which I'm only just realizing. On the shuttle to Canaan House, Ortus expresses that he's glad he'll finally have the time to finish the Noniad, which Harrow interprets as him using the time while she's studying Lyctorhood. But Ortus is already a ghost at this point: he has the rest of eternity in the River to write his poem.

It's exciting to imagine what new rugs Muir will find to pull out from under us tomorrow.

49 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#4

Normally it would be easy to dismiss language anachronisms in fantasy. Having to figure out what the actual language would be doesn't usually affect the story in any way and takes a lot of effort, and not everyone can be like JRRT. In Gideon the Ninth, you don't think twice about the fact that they can still read the signs in the Canaan House laboratory 10 thousand years later. Gideon speaking in Tumblr memes is just a characterization shorthand

But then in Nona the Ninth it does matter. It's a relevant plot point that some characters speak House and some characters don't, and Nona is a universal translator. From Gideon we know that House has to be at least compatible with modern English, and the people who fled Earth no longer speak that (or call it English). Whether or not the language is necromantically frozen, it's being artificially preserved somehow

61 notes - Posted December 9, 2022

#3

Finally catching up on several chapters of Dungeon Meshi. I love how fast Izutzumi goes from kitten

to “time for murder”

70 notes - Posted December 10, 2022

#2

Kiriona Gaia Isn’t Gideon Nav

That’s an extreme claim, I know. And we’ve clearly seen a lot in common between the two. However, the differences are stark enough that I don’t believe that it can be explained purely as off-screen character growth over the course of several months.

Let’s review what we’ve seen of Kiriona in Nona the Ninth. She’s extremely possessive of and in love with Harrow still (“Get in line, thou big slut”); she’s besties with Ianthe (friendship bracelets, secret handshake); and she’s deeply loyal to the Emperor, her father (going on secret missions that even the other Lyctor Prince doesn’t know about).

The first one makes sense. When John brought Gideon back and bound her soul to her corpse, it was still her soul, only a little worse for wear for being killed twice already. The only way John seems to be able to create new souls is the old fashioned way (which tbf is how he created Gideon the first time). However, he clearly put his own spin on the body. The titanium bones, unbreakable skin, and leaving the hole through her chest are his mark of Cain upon Kiriona.

Kiriona’s friendship with Ianthe feels like a major stretch for Gideon. We know she can be temporarily swayed with puns (“gall on gall” -> “let’s get married”), but it’s a far cry from merely cooperating with someone you don’t like to becoming best friends with them. While I can see Gideon continuing to work with Ianthe like at the end of Harrow the Ninth for a significant period time, I find it impossible to believe they could actually become friends given how diametrically opposed they are. (I don’t think Ianthe can have friends at all, but this isn’t about her.)

I think the hardest part to swallow is her loyalty to John. Gideon wasn’t loyal to the Ninth House or the Houses as a whole a day in her life; her only loyalty was to Harrow personally, and even that was self-serving. Gideon was definitely a schemer; she wasn’t book smart (although even she picked up enough skeletal knowledge on the Ninth), but she spent a lot of time making intricate plans for escape, and they got pretty good. If Gideon knew that Harrow’s body was walking around on New Rho, it’s reasonable to think that she maneuvered things to get planetside to rescue her.

But she didn’t. Kiriona was a Lyctor Prince for a good deal before the New Rho operation, and I’m not sure how much she knew about Harrow’s body’s presence when the planning for that began. Instead, it turns out the whole thing was actually John’s plan to get Alecto back to the Tomb. The same John who’s only prior interaction with Gideon was ordering the death of her girlfriend necromancer. And even without the personal slight, Gideon hates authority figures. John is Crux turned to 10,000, and Kiriona took great pleasure in finally finishing him off.

Except, she didn’t. And while her response could be read as “revenge is hollow because it doesn’t get you back what you lost,” Kiriona seems to react as though she can tell her empty response doesn’t feel legitimate. This is my central thesis: John fucked with her mind when he rebuilt Gideon. He didn’t want a loose cannon teenage daughter, he needed a new Lyctor who would actually remain loyal after everyone else had turned on him. And so he ensured that Kiriona would be a better soldier than the ones he had just lost.

The biggest piece of evidence is actually the simplest: her name is Kiriona now. One of the major revelations in Nona the Ninth is how he built the crew that would later become the Lyctors post-Resurrection. Those sixteen people who were largely his friends and colleagues before the end of the world were not quite the same people that became the Lyctors and cavaliers afterwards. When he first animated Ulysses and Titania, he gave them new names to signify that they were new people. When he killed his friends and resurrected them, he gave them new names too. Their personalities were generally the same (Alfred was still the peacekeeper; Cristabel was still a martyr; Augustine and Mercymorn were still kismesises), but they explicitly didn’t remember who they were before. The same is true of Kiriona: she still had the same general personality as Gideon, but now her ideals are John’s ideals. She was resurrected with the same loss of agency that the rest of John’s people suffered.

104 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1,079 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

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[iturbide]

What do you think could have been done to improve 3H? Given the budget/time, what changes would you have done? Also, what elements do you consider KEY to a good story?

fffffff I would have done so many things differently in 3H it requires a read more but to your second question: I feel that characters are a key element of a good story. Possibly the most crucial element, to me. You can have the most epic, incredible plot in the world -- but if the characters taking part in it aren't interesting or able to engage the reader, then the story loses a huge part of its impact. It's only by caring about the people taking part that a reader can get invested in the story and its outcome; if you don't care about what happens to someone (either in a good or a bad way) then you're at best apathetic to the events, at worst bored by them.

Frankly everything else in a story -- narrative structure, conflict, etc -- is so malleable that I can't consider it key. You can easily make stories that have no classic conflict if you have characters that people care about, because just watching them interact with the world and each other can be beautifully engaging. So at least to me, the key is in the characters: whether you love them and want them to succeed or love to hate them and want to see them get their just desserts, they're the ones that do the heavy lifting in a story, so making sure they're compelling is one of the most important things to me when writing.

As for 3H though I have a lot of changes I would make. Throughout the whole game.

Academy Phase

Giving each House their own unique set of missions. I feel that part of why the Azure Moon route is considered so strong is because it's the most character driven, something that starts in the Academy Phase: everything from Lonato's rebellion to Miklan's theft of the Gautier Relic are highly personal to the Blue Lions students, with Ashe being Lonato's adoptive son and Miklan being Sylvain's estranged older brother (and someone who's well-known to Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid on top of it). While these are both important events, for the Black Eagles and the Golden Deer there's not the same level of personal engagement: it's just a thing that's happening rather than a devastating blow to the students we love. While there are certainly missions that can and should stay the same (the raid on Seiros' tomb, Flayn's kidnapping, the Remire incident, etc.) having select missions be personalized by House to give that same level of engagement would have made for a far stronger narrative, since it enhances the player's connection with the students of their chosen House.

Just as an example: for the Black Eagles, rather than putting down Lonato's rebellion, maybe have their mission be aiding a small sect of the Church in the Empire that's being plagued by monsters or bandits. It gives us the chance to learn more of the history between the Church of Seiros and the Adrestian Empire, how close they were and how it fell apart a century before the game; Rhea might explain that she wants to improve these failing relations by having Imperial students go to aid this disconnected branch, and in private Edelgard could hint at her distrust of the institution and of Rhea herself even if she is following orders. Not only that, we could hear on returning that the Blue Lions students accompanied the Knights of Seiros in dealing with Lonato's rebellion, so we still get the fallout from those events and have a reason to choose the Blue Lions in another run.

Another example: for the Golden Deer, rather than going after Miklan and witnessing his transformation, maybe a report arrives that someone stole Failnaught and task the Alliance students with retrieving it. It lets us learn more about the situation in the Alliance, giving more details about Duke Oswald's situation, Claude's appointment as the heir to the Riegan House...and while he would never do it personally, have there be subtle implications but no hard proof that Duke Gloucester is behind the theft, just as he was the death of Claude's Uncle; on top of that, we could still get a battle against a Black Beast when Failnaught transforms the bandit, giving Claude a very personal look at how dangerous these Relics can be (something he likely wouldn't have had deep insight into, given his Almyran roots). And again, on returning to the monastery we could see the Blue Lions dealing with the fallout from Miklan.

More interaction between the House Leaders in general. There are only a handful of scenes where all three of them interact together, and I can only think of one instance where they're even in each other's company at the monastery (Claude and Dimitri in one of the early chapters). Having more of these moments where they're apparently interacting on the grounds or where we can see them together in cutscenes, giving us more insight into the leaders of the other Houses we didn't pick, would give us a lot more investment in them as people and make the eventual revelations at the end of the Academy Phase hit a lot harder.

Especially with Claude's ambition being what it is, it would have been a far better show of his character to have him hanging out with different students every month -- not just from his own House like Hilda, but from other Houses. Have him be talking with Petra in the dining hall one month, or with Annette at the reception hall another; if you sided with the Black Eagles or the Blue Lions, it would be very easy to suspect that he's up to tricks and trying to figure out individual weaknesses...but if you picked the Golden Deer, you'd likely realize very quickly that he's got no ulterior motives because you've been seeing him in action and getting Supports with him.

More Supports period. We were robbed of some fascinating interactions, like Ashe and Dorothea or Dedue and Petra, and some really strong Support chains stop before they reach their full potential (several Sylvain supports, including Marianne and Bernadetta). I want to see so many more of these and I would add in a ton if given half an opportunity.

Giving Byleth more agency. This bleeds over into the War Phase, too, but one of my biggest complaints about the game is how limited the response options are, especially when it comes to Edelgard and her frightening rhetoric as early as chapter 3. Give us more options with real varied outcomes, rather than it changing one immediate line of dialogue; give us real dialogue trees rather than minutely altered responses so that we have an opportunity to affect change. This runs the risk of drastically altering Byleth's relationship with the various House Leaders, but that potential is undeniably fascinating in and of itself.

War Phase

Azure Moon: Make Dimitri's turn more gradual. Show him grappling with Rodrigue's words more, have more scenes where he and Byleth talk and he tries to work through his understandably complicated feelings. It doesn't even have to take that much longer, honestly: every week for the next month, give us an extra cutscene and let there be a small change in how you can interact with him. For example, maybe he still doesn't attend the round table in the first week, but you do have the option of assigning him to a task around the monastery; in the second week if you explore, you have the option to invite him to a meal; in the third week he finally attends the roundtable and you're able to work on his skills again; and in the fourth week his supports finally unlock.

Azure Moon: Make Claude recruitable. Don't have him leave Failnaught and go waltzing back to Almyra, have him actually head up the Alliance in this time of need and volunteer to join forces with the Kingdom forces. You can have the option of turning him down, if you really want, at which point he might leave Lorenz in charge and go back home, but give us the option of bringing him on board along with any other former Deer that fought with him at Derdriu -- and furthermore, let us have some supports with Dedue and Dimitri to go with it. Ideally those Support chains would be available in the Academy phase and maybe you'd have the recruitment option only if Dimitr's Support level with Claude is at least a B (since you can get to A during the Academy Phase but not unlock it until the War Phase as I experienced many times). But still: Claude recruitment. Yes.

Verdant Wind: Make Dimitri recruitable. Having him die offscreen after Gronder is absolutely terrible, especially since we know for a fact that at least two people from the Alliance army saw what was either going to happen or directly happening. At the end of the battle, give us an option of going after Dimitri: if you choose not to, he still dies, but if you do you have the opportunity to save him and recruit any other former Lions with him. As abve, Supports between Claude and Dimitri would be great, and you could even keep Dimitri's Supports locked for a while and include scenes of Byleth and/or Claude and Dimitri talking and working with him until he starts turning around the way he does in Azure Moon. Dimitri's death in Verdant Wind is a travesty and it needs to be changed.

Verdant Wind: More character stuff in general. One of the things that makes Azure Moon such a strong route is that it's so deeply character-driven. Verdant Wind is much more plot-driven, and while it's still strong, it could have been more impactful if the characters were more directly affected and/or we got to see more of their individual actions. For instance: after securing Myrddin, have weekly missions where you actually go along and meet with the Great Lords and discuss with them before the final round table. Have Byleth and Claude go with Lorenz to talk to Count Gloucester and try to get his buy-in, and give us more dialogue trees where Byleth can contribute (for better or for worse) so that in the end you either get his full agreement or only grudging consideration because Lorenz intervenes. Get us engaged, show us more of the situation in the Alliance, and let us have a role in moving from this uneasy state of neutrality to full agreement that it's time to take action.

Silver Snow: A unique story in general. Basically everything in the route is a weaker copy of the events in Verdant Wind, and regardless of which came first, Verdant Wind handles the events in a way that makes more logical and narrative sense than Silver Snow does. So even if things could be changed in Verdant Wind to make it stronger and more unique, Silver Snow needs the most work and ideally should have a new plot made just for them that gives the Knights of Seiros a chance to really shine.

Silver Snow: More for Seteth to do period. Despite the fact that he's ostensibly our Lord stand-in for the route (since he's the one who meets you after the timeskip, where it's either Claude, Dimitri, or Edelgard who does in the other routes), he barely has a chance to do anything and doesn't make much of an impact on the route overall. Silver Snow could -- and ostensibly should -- give him a chance to showcase his talents and stand as a unique and engaging character, since his role in the Academy Phase was so minor; relegating him to the same general role in Silver Snow does him a great injustice.

Crimson Flower: Have Edelgard suffer consequences. This is one of my biggest complaints with the game on the whole: that Crimson Flower goes out of is way to glorify imperialism and Edelgard gets a rosy perfect ending with nothing ever going wrong according to her endcards. Logically the way she achieved her goal would have led to massive dissent, unrest, and civil conflict in the territories she conquered and subjugated; her route needs to show that, and make it clear that there are in fact consequences for her actions, both within the original Adrestian territry and without in the newly conquered ones.

Crimson Flower: Deal with the damn Agarthans. Given that she knows about them in detail the way neither of her fellow House Lords did, it's an absolute travesty that we never saw her go after them in her route: all she did was show her hand too early and cause hundreds of senseless deaths when the Agarthans fired on Arianrhod. Her route should have ended with a conflict against the Agarthan menace -- and likely a very hard one, harder even than the battle against Rhea, because she left them for too long and gave them time to bolster their defenses before she arrived. And given that she's killed Rhea, the end of that conflict would likely be a massive loss of life when Thales bombs Shambhala -- further consequences for her actions.

All Routes: Give Byleth agency. This is especially pertinent in CF where canon reduced Byleth to Edelgard's enabler: give them a chance to fight her, push back against things that either don't make sense or are only going to hurt people, argue and maybe force her to change her mind or see another viewpoint rather than continuing to barrel down a path of bloodshed and loss because she selfishly decided that war was the only way. But giving Byleth that same agency in other routes would be equally powerful: let them talk candidly with Dimitri, let them encourage Claude to trust his companions and reveal his Almyran heritage, just...let them have a chance to be their own person, with complicated relationships and the ability to speak freely.

[terezis]

God and Lyctorhood: Why The Emperor Can’t Return to Dominicus

Obligatory disclaimer that a lot of this is just me stating the obvious, but listen. Listen. I have to establish the FACTS before I can get to the SPECULATION!!!

-

So in Gideon the Ninth Cytherea did go to Canaan House with intent to kill the Emperor for creating more Lyctors, mainly because the idea that he would encourage anyone to do that - to go through it - again was unconscionable.

- “Thank your lucky stars that none of you became Lyctor, Palamedes Sextus. It is neither life nor death—it’s something in between, and nobody should ever ask you to embrace it. Not even him. Especially not him.”

“I wouldn’t have done that to Camilla.”

“So you know how it happens. Clever boy! I knew you’d all work it out … eventually. I didn’t want to do it either … I didn’t want to do it at all … but I was dying. Loveday—she was my cavalier —she and I thought it could make me live. Instead I’ve just kept dying, all this time. No, you wouldn’t have done it, and you’re smart not to. You can’t do that to somebody’s soul."

- “The day after. When we put together the research. When she became a Lyctor. I said, There was no alternative. She said…” [...] The other Lyctor said nothing, for a moment. She cleared her throat: “She said, We had the choice to stop.”

But it’s more than that, I think? After all, Cytherea knew about the Ninth House mission.

Now, just so we’re all on the same page: the Ninth House mission was a plan between Commander Wake, Mercymorn, Augustine, and possibly also Cytherea, to open the Locked Tomb by killing a child of God and using its DNA - God’s DNA - and the resulting thanergic cascade to break the blood ward. (At one point Harrow did mention that babies’ deaths create big ones!) Jury’s out on whether Cytherea was actually a part of that plot or if she only knew about it - Mercymorn says at her funeral that the last time they spoke was twenty years ago, which would have been right after Wake died - but the distinction isn’t important.

Why did they want to get into the Tomb? Because if they had gotten in and found that Alecto wasn’t truly dead - that the Emperor had lied to them about her demise - it would have confirmed their suspicions that he was a Lyctor, and Alecto the cavalier he used to become one. That he'd lied to them about the true nature of Lyctorhood. That it was possible to achieve it without killing your cavalier and becoming their tomb.

That their cavs had died for nothing.

But they didn’t need to break into the Tomb to confirm any of this: they’d only needed to look at the baby’s eyes. Gold, like Alecto’s eyes, which was weird because it wasn’t her child, it was Wake’s... 

... and the Emperor’s. Which of course meant that genetically, the Emperor’s eyes should have been gold. But they weren’t: Alecto’s were.

“Ah. The eyes.”

“Yes, the eyes,” she said. “Your child … Alecto’s eyes. [...] Those are A.L.’s eyes, Lord … right there in your genetic code.”

What happens to Lyctor’s eyes when they complete the process again...? Oh, right.

So Mercymorn says in Harrow the Ninth that Cytherea would have known the truth the moment she set her eyes on Gideon:

When she spoke at last, she sounded frozen and numb. “I see. I understand. Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us … and you are all the proof I needed. I don’t have to breach anything. I don’t have to go back.” She exhaled. 

“Good God … Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you.”

And Cytherea did:

“Oh, singular,” said [Cytherea] quietly, more to herself than to Gideon. “Lipochrome … recessive. I like looking at people’s eyes,” she explained suddenly, smiling now. “They tell you such a lot.”

But that confirmation didn’t change her path - it only strengthened her resolve.

On one of the sweetly painted frescoes, fresh paint marred the blossom-decked trees. Over them, on the wall, black words a foot high proclaimed:

YOU LIED TO US

Not only did the Emperor intend to create more Lyctors, whose existence she felt was wrong in its own right - but he intended to create more Lyctors by killing more cavaliers, knowing that the cavaliers didn’t need to die, because there was a better way to do it. Because he did it. Nobody ever had to die.

(Now, there’s a lot we don’t know: namely, why lie? The Emperor says it was because it was “easier,” but like... easier than what? )

They didn’t want to get into her tomb just to confirm their suspicions about Alecto’s relationship to the Emperor. See: when Mercymorn asks what God could possibly fear. I’m here to posit: the loss of power. Death. These are one and the same, I think. Alecto is, at least in part, the source of his power. And as for death...

It’s not that he couldn’t kill Alecto. It’s that he wouldn’t, because killing her would sever their link. At best I think it’d make him mortal, and at worst I believe it’d kill him, too. Evidence:

“But it’s not as simple as her getting it right, and me stopping her. She panicked midway through. She hadn’t got his soul inside her all the way—if she had, Samael dying would have killed her too … They were both in danger. I killed him for her benefit, and she knew that at the time.”

The older Lyctors were always planning on killing the Emperor if they’d been proven right about his lies.

“And when you swore that you’d help evacuate the Houses, you never meant that either, did you?”

-

“Dominicus will collapse in a few minutes, chick,” said the other Lyctor. “It’s going to form a black hole that nobody in that system will escape. The Nine Houses are over.” 

“The Nine Houses are gone,” echoed Mercy. “It is over … it is done. We always planned for a mass evacuation [...]”

They had planned for evacuations because his death would have also meant the death of the system, since he was the one sustaining it. 

But how were they planning on killing him? Was Mercy going to rip him apart on an atomic level like we saw her do in his rooms? I’m not so sure. Wouldn’t it be much easier to just kill Alecto instead and get him in the process? She’s “asleep.” It’s not like she’d be able to fight back. (They sent Commander Wake to her tomb; bloodthirsty, trigger happy, eager-to-kill-necromancers Wake. I’m sure they knew what her first course of action would have been when/ if she got inside.)

That’s why the Emperor locked her away, I think - for his own safety. If he didn’t “take care of it,” I’m sure one of the other Lyctors would have actually done the job, and he couldn’t have that. The prophecy that Harrow’s parents believed stated that opening up the Tomb would be his demise (and in turn cause the apocalypse.) In the first book Harrow says that 

“The Locked Tomb’s meant to house the one true enemy of the King Undying, Nav, something older than time, the cost of the Resurrection; the beast that he defeated once but can’t defeat twice. The abyss of the First. The death of the Lord.”

The thing he defeated once by becoming a Lyctor, but couldn’t overcome twice: his own mortality.

That’s why he can’t ever return to Dominicus. That’s why Cytherea wanted to lure him there. The Resurrection Beasts would follow. They’ve been looking for her, too; the Emperor’s other half.

“We said she was too dangerous … We knew the Beasts were coming, and we knew they were partly coming for her. She was going to get us all eaten alive.”

(Side note: do you think this is why number seven came to the Mithraeum early? Because Alecto’s soul has been following Harrowhark around?)

They can’t kill the Emperor; he says as much.

The Lyctor said, “The Resurrection Beasts—”

“Can’t kill me.”

“You acted afraid—”

“Acted is operative.”

But Alecto?

I suspect that they could kill Alecto... and if he leads them to Dominicus - to the Ninth House - to her - if she dies...

Well, that’s the ballgame. 

Why else would returning to Dominicus mean his Death, like Teacher explains the first book? The Beasts have been following him wherever he goes anyway, and if they can’t kill him... I mean, sure, it'd suck if they consumed the Nine Houses, just like, personally speaking, but the Emperor doesn't draw power from the system. Augustine says as much.

“You don’t get your power from Dominicus,” said Augustine. “It gets its power from you. There’s no exchange involved, no symbiosis. You draw nothing from the system. It relies on you entirely, as we all know.

The only way Cytherea’s plan would have worked is if there was something there that could kill him - like Alecto’s body.

-

Of course, it's also possible that I'm entirely wrong. I thought the Emperor was deflecting when he said that Alecto “isn’t the dying kind,” but I guess he could have meant it literally, especially if she isn’t actually (completely?) human...

And rereading that last conversation between the Emperor and his Lyctors, it does seem like when Mercymorn meant Alecto when she asked what God could fear. Like Alecto might kill him? But why would she do that? Anger for “switching her off”? Revenge? 

what is the truth dot jpeg!!!

[annikasafternoonread]

Hello all! It’s been a few days (okay it’s been a whole ass week) -- I’m sorry for the wait, but I had a surprisingly hard time starting this wrap up. Part of that was just being busy with life, but I also just… felt like I didn’t know what to say. Or maybe I didn’t know how to say it. These books are deeply complex, which is part of what makes them so captivating, but it also can make it hard to describe or respond to or explain. So much is left unanswered or unexplored or unknown. How can I sum up something so multi-faceted, that I know I’m only scratching the surface of understanding?

So, Harrow the Ninth. I want to preface this post by saying I did enjoy this book a lot, and I’m glad I read it. Tamsyn Muir is a very talented writer, I love the characters and the world, and the story is really cool. But although I liked the reading experience as a whole… I seem to have a lot of things I wasn’t totally happy with in the book itself. 

Tamsyn Muir’s books are fascinating, but they are also challenging. I’m sure that description doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has read them. It is both a strength and a weakness, part of what makes these books so intriguing and surprising, but also something that I know can turn off potential readers. I remember shortly before I started reading Harrow the Ninth, someone told me that the book itself is really hard to read, especially at the beginning. I remember that during the book, someone else told me that they had read Gideon the Ninth and started Harrow the Ninth, but wound up not finishing because the second person was too confusing. 

Neither of those was my experience. I didn’t mind the second person, or the confusing nature of the first sections. It was what I expected from this book at this point, and while it was unusual, it worked. The world they exist in is incredibly complex, the writing style is quite unique, but none of that really fazed me. For me, the ending was what felt... a lot of things. Confusing, incomplete, unresolved… and for me at least, a little unsatisfying. Again, I get that it’s kind of the point, but I just… 😒 is the best way I can describe the emotion. Like, okay I guess, but also no. 

The good news is, this book as a whole answered a lot of my questions from the previous book. Not all of them, but a good few. We know a lot more about this universe, about the history leading to this point, about who and what they’re fighting against, about what Lyctors are and how they work and what they do. And we know why Gideon didn’t die from the gas 🤯 

This book also hit a lot of the themes I was hoping for, many of which are concepts I’m quite interested in. In my opening post, I guessed that we’d be seeing a lot of focus on the ideas of: identity, duty, loyalty, morality, and truth. Granted those are kind of generic and open-ended, but I think they were all pretty on the nose. Harrow’s identity shifts with her memory, with her sense of who she is and what she is supposed to do and be. We explore duty and loyalty through her relationship with Lyctorhood and especially with the other Lyctors’ actions. Morality is a constant undercurrent, never really brought to the surface by most of the characters (well, I guess with regards to becoming a Lyctor it’s explicitly explored, but with regards to killing planets and the BoE and such it isn’t really touched much) but always there and very intentionally so. The narration doesn’t engage with it because the characters don’t question it, but it’s clear that we the reader are supposed to. And truth -- well, there sure are a lot of lies on that ship. I was even spot on that truth circles back to identity, though granted not in the way I initially expected. 

But while this book answered a lot of the questions from last book, it of course introduced many more of its own, and many of those weren’t resolved either. Some of those I expect to be answered later, like: How did Mercy and Augustine connect with the Blood of Eden? Why did they want to break open the Locked Tomb? What’s up with Original Gideon (OG) and did he (or someone else) fuck with his brain? Some of these it makes sense to leave unresolved to heighten the drama, like: What exactly is God and why and how? What exactly is the Blood of Eden and what do they want and how much should I trust or distrust them? What exactly is up with the Body? Some of these are small but still bother the heck out of me, like: What was up with Ianthe’s arm after all? How did the Commander get into that sword? Did Harrow hallucinate before she became a Lyctor, or was that a false memory too, part of the dreamscape? 

But some of them are big. Some of them matter. Some of them feel like I’m supposed to think they’re answered, but I just… don’t. Like, why did Mercy and Augustine break with God? I get the surface level reason that they’re talking about, but it doesn’t make sense to me, there has to be more to God or Lyctorship or the Resurrection or something. Or at least, I have to believe that, because honestly if there isn’t, I think that would be more unsatisfying to me. I’m also deeply curious about how all the different souls and ghosts inside of Harrow interacted -- did they fight each other, layer with each other, influence each other, braid each other’s hair? For instance, who told Harrow to keep the two-handed sword close -- was it Gideon or the Commander or Harrow or some other reason? 

And then there was the scene with Camilla and Judith and Coronabeth. Like, I get that this scene served quite a few purposes -- introducing the idea of a River Bubble, letting us (sort of) meet the Commander, getting to see some of Harrow’s letters, setting up the next book (as per the epilogue), and let’s not ignore the value of getting to say hi to some favourite characters, but at the same time it just… it feels so out of place. Like a weird crossover, except these characters actually do go here? But they’re not supposed to? They show up once, their presence is not explained, and then they disappear into the plot of the next book. A cameo within their own world.

There were of course plenty of things I liked. This world is fascinating and we got to know a lot more about it, about history and necromancy, about how this society views death and destiny, about their conflicts and challenges and triumphs and fears. We got to see a lot of new party tricks. Like in the previous book, we got plenty of unapologetic queerness and enjoyment of titty fiction. The writing style is engaging and makes me laugh at the most unexpected moments. I love a lot of the characters and seeing how they think and interact. I want to know more about this world and these people and this story. 

But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure I’ll read the next book. Not because it’s challenging to read, but just… I don’t know if it’ll give me the payoff I want. Especially given the amount of effort and brainpower these books do take. I want to know I’ll get something back for my investment. Not eventually, when the series ends, but in the book I’m actually reading. Maybe the incomplete ending is supposed to cliffhanger me into desperately wanting the next book. But I don’t want to jump. I just want to land. And with this book, I guess I just don’t feel like we stuck the landing here. I don’t feel like we landed. I feel like we’re still in freefall. I’m definitely not ruling out reading it, I’m sure I’ll be drawn to it and like I said I do want more from this universe. But I just don’t know. 

I feel like this is one of my more critical wrap up posts, and I feel a little bad for that because I know so many of you guys love these books. And I’m glad for you! They’re great books! Well worth loving! If someone asked me if I recommended them, I’d absolutely say yes. I enjoyed them a lot, and my lukewarm response to the conclusion doesn’t take away from all that I did love. It just means I’m wary of that happening again with the next book. 

But that’s a problem for next year! In the meantime, I’m going to have to read something else :) The contenders for our next read are An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green, Most Likely by Sarah Watson, or Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce -- any of them are still in the game, so let your voice be heard! I hope to start reading on Saturday, so see you then!

And as always, thank you for joining me on this journey. It means the world to have you along, and you guys make it so much fun. I love doing this, and I love sharing it with you. Thank you. I hope to see you on the next journey :)

[king-paimon]

HnK Quick Thoughts/Theories: Aechmea’s omnipresence

This has been on my mind for a while now and because the new chapter will be released very soon, I thought I might as well share my thoughts now. This should be short because I only wanted to talk about a few things, and I’ll likely add more to the post in due time. 

(Edit: Fixed a few writing errors in this post, and I’m going to downplay the importance of the last section. It’s the first one that I wanted to bring attention to.)

And I know that some leaks have been released today. I haven’t seen them yet because I want to wait for the translation, but I have seen some fans reactions... there’s a lot of despair and anger that I’m seeing. Oh boy. Now I’m even more curious as to what’s apparently happening in the new chapter, but again, that’ll have to wait until it’s fully translated.

Anyways, here we go:

Aechmea’s limited omnipresence 

(Chapter 94, Page 07)

This is something I noticed for a while now and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this or not but I want to try to explain what I mean by this title. It’s clear that Aechmea had his eyes on Phos and the other gems while they were on earth for a long time. But after thinking about it for a while, I don’t think he does when it comes to his own people. Remember how he was upset with Cairn for going to earth? If he knew Cairn was going in the first place, I don’t think he would have been upset but he clearly was. Or the times when he’d pop up in areas around the moon when Cairn or the other gems were doing their own thing. The main incident that I’m thinking of was when Cairn was doing explosive experiments; in that case, Aechmea was able to pop up with no problem, but I don’t think he was actively watching them before he made his appearance. 

(Chapter 71, Page 16)

What I’m trying to say is that it seems to me that while Aechmea had active eyes on the gems on earth, he does not on the moon. Maybe he doesn’t feel the need to be actively watching his own people on the moon or the moon gems because he’s not worried about them doing anything fishy while he there or away. Basically, I’m saying that Aechmea is not fully omnipresent.

I hope this fact will be an important plot element that Ms. Ichikawa is planning on using in the upcoming chapters or something, because I feel like this could be very impactful to the story, I just don’t know how. Maybe Ame will still try to restore the older gems, despite being told otherwise? Maybe the moon people who are close to the gems, like Cicada or Barbata, will do something in secret against Aechmea’s wishes? (Though I highly doubt they would) 

Or maybe the remaining gems might do something useful for once? (I also doubt this at this time.)I don’t want to be too hopeful again, but I can’t help but speculate as to what will be in store for the remaining gems.

Forgotten elements: How will they fit in the story?

This section isn’t long and it’s honestly not as vital as the previous section in my opinion; these are just some ramble about some story element that I hope will also come into play in some shape or form. I know there’s more of these and I’ll have to reread the chapters to get them all but these are just a few that I can think.

The other introduced element in the story that I hope will come back in some sort of way are the ‘human particles.’ Now that Phos is identified as a new ‘human,’ it makes me wonder what Aechmea, or rather Ms. Ichikawa has in store for the introduced ‘human particles.’ Even though they were only shown a few times, there is a clear connection between them and Phos. Maybe it’ll tie into another ending where fully fledged humans are created after everyone disappears or something along those lines. I don’t think Ms. Ichikawa would include these into the story to just be forgotten, so I’m betting she has some plans for this story element.

(Chapter 56, Page 20)

The Admirabilis

Reviewing chapter 56 made me remember another vital element in the story that hasn’t been brought up in a long time: The Admirabilis. Though they don’t show up much, their presence certainly have an impact on Phos in the past. So it has me wondering how the Admirabilis will contribute to the story now with everthing that happened. It’s been a long while since we last had them interact directly with Phos. I’m pretty sure it was mentioned in one of my older posts that the last ones to speak with Phos directly are long dead so it’s there descendants that remain. I wonder how or even if they will still have an impact on Phos now.

(Chapter 51, Page 13)

Maybe a descendent of Variegatus is on earth and tries to talk to Phos? Maybe that small chuck of gem that Phos gave to Variegatus will come into play too or their interaction will help Phos mentally somehow? Who knows. Part of me thinks that the Admirabilis won’t be playing a major part in the story for a while, but maybe Ms. Ichikawa has more plans for them.

That Box Thing...

The other thing that has me puzzled is... Cinnabar’s box/tomb thing.

(Chapter 85, Page 03)

I’m pretty sure that this was just a gag that Ichikawa added to show how chummy all of the earth gems are, but I wonder if it’ll actual contribute to the story in some way? Maybe Phos will turn it into an effigy or maybe they’ll lock themselves in there because of the all the crap they had to deal with and would rather sleep for the rest of their lives? ...Nah, I’m reaching on this one. Again, I’m pretty sure this was added to just emphasize how ‘good’ things have gotten between Cinnabar and the other earth gems, but I can’t be sure when it comes to this story. 

I know there’s other stuff I missed but these were the topics that I can remember quickly. Actually, there’s some stuff about some of the characters I plan on going into more details at some point; just need to find the time. So besides the last element, I hope the first two things I talked about do come into play in the story somehow. If anyone knows of other story elements that was introduced that you hope will come into play, please add it to this post!

[ghostmartyr]

/clears throat/ so, Immi, I hear you like the locked tomb, which is fantastic! from one person also escaping the snk series into TLT to another, what did you think of the characters and plot in HtN? are there any things you're most excited to see when Alecto comes out in 2022?

-pats lifeboat- This baby can fit so much trauma.

SPOILERS, naturally.

With another paragraph informing the curious that unspoiled is the way to go into HtN, since if you aren’t lost and confused, are you really reading Harrow the Ninth?

I read it all in one day, and that was a choice. It does mean my memory and understanding of what all went on is slightly dependent on someone else on the internet exploding over a particular set of paragraphs and explaining their significance to me, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

HtN disappointed me on one front in that I was hoping seeing more of Harrow 1.0 would help out any future fic endeavors. On everything else, like the first one, being told the story is such a good time that I’m willing to wait on a full comprehension of where it’s going.

I also really like second person.

What I loved most about HtN is how even without Gideon mentioned until very, very late in the book, you can feel her absence everywhere. In the wrong bubble flashbacks you’re commanded to examine the strangeness, but even in Harrow going about her day, the isolation and the wrongness of it decorate her every action. She’s alone, and she shouldn’t be, and the loss she’s unaware of bleeds into a constant echo of grief.

I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated absence as a narrative tool so much. Obviously griddlehark hours go hard once they start in HtN, but even before then, there is so much power to their connection that looking into a world where it never exists still manages to punch you in the heart with how much each one inhabits everything the other is.

The whole series is amping me up with a few thoughts on loneliness, honestly. Gideon and Harrow grow up alone on the Ninth, save for each other. It takes leaving for that to be any kind of good thing. The first book is tag team Among Us with everyone in their little clusters, slowly learning what other people are about as they all drop dead.

The second book has a different vibe and different plot things going on, but it’s similar in that the protagonist gets thrown into a world they don’t fit and have to put on a show. Only now there are even fewer people to familiarize with, with that number correlating directly to how they all killed the person closest to keeping them from being alone.

Lyctorhood is taking the person dearest to your heart and trapping them there forever while they’re stripped of everything that made them who they are.

...Also Ianthe is there.

Gideon, Mercy, and Augustine are the last Lyctors standing after 10,000 years. There were only seven, starting out. Sixteen acolytes who came to the First. The only pair who didn’t succeed in condensing themselves is separated from the pack and sent to live away from their peers on a tiny planet that no one has anything good to say about.

Alecto is John’s -- who even knows, past A Lot, and he puts her to sleep and locks her in a prison no one but he can get past.

God has seven friends. More if you want to count the people in the Cohort, but realistically, he has seven friends. Then they keep dying.

Harrow spends HtN in a spaceship with five people.

One is trying to kill her.

One ordered that one to try to kill her.

Two could not care less about the useless baby Lyctor.

One is Ianthe.

There is no real endgame. There is surviving life, and life has become a game of running as far away as possible so you don’t share your ruin upon your inevitable death.

It’s bleak and sad.

Harrow’s healthiest relationships are with dead people, and some of them she didn’t know at all in life.

Reiterating it, the most plot significant bit of the world is finding someone else in the world, swearing yourself to them, and smashing your souls together until you’ve lost the connection entirely.

My brain’s not in the best place so I can’t do more than gesture loudly at it, but a few people have mentioned that the series’ thesis is a counter to Ianthe’s statement that love is acquisitive.

Harrow tightens her hold around Gideon until Gideon would rather she just strangle her and get it over with, all things considered. It fucks them both up, and when they start working to get past it, circumstance wraps a chain around both their throats.

The necromancers who become imperfect Lyctors have all acquired their cavaliers, and besides the cav, it kills that bond.

Harrow’s rejection of that is why Gideon’s soul is still in the world of the living (and John blood).

She has spent her entire life eating pieces of Gideon to keep herself a horrid imitation of whole, and when she is finally offered that, she refuses.

Grief and how Harrow just can’t are active elements of the book, and Magnus gives her more therapy in five minutes talking about it than she has ever had in her life, but the reason why that isn’t the end of Gideon is because, unlike all the other Lyctors, Harrow turns the offer down.

With the exception of Babs and Ianthe, the relationship between cavaliers and necros about to do the Lyctor thing is cavaliers promising to burn for an eternity while their necromancer lives off the fumes.

Fuck that is Harrow’s response.

Cytherea says, in the aftermath, that they had the choice to stop.

Harrow stops.

A lifetime of doing exactly what Gideon is telling her to do with her death, and Harrow chooses to stop.

Harrow remembers Ortus’ poetry. She regularly sees her congregation off to their deaths. She keeps Gideon’s glasses. She views Palamedes, head exploded and all, as an infinitely better person than she is because of the quality of his exemplary character. She pulls Gideon the First from the incinerator on the night she plans to kill him.

Kiddo has so many fucking issues, but somewhere, she has learned to respect people for being people. That’s why she and Gideon are the heroes of the story, ultimately, and Ortus saying that they’re heroes worthy of the Ninth doesn’t fall flat. They’re actually trying.

Where that puts us for Alecto, I don’t pretend to know.

Since the first book is the temptation of an end to isolation, only to have it snatched away, the second book is the continuation of isolation with a few promising sparks of human connection that pave the way for hope...

That leaves the third book to shed the isolation and allow the connections to thrive.

With Gideon and Harrow MIA.

I know that the books kick things up into high gear in the final acts each time, but if they’re both gone for the majority of the book, no matter how much fun it is, I’m going to miss them. They’re the core leads, and I don’t want to be without them in the final part.

The 2022 release date has aged my soul. I deliberately planned my GtN read to land a month before HtN came out, then suffered when that was delayed. When really that was nothing at all. I hate waiting.

(Insert note that I’m very glad they aren’t forcing Muir to rush anything out. It’s been a rough time, but also, just in general authors should have the opportunity to create the best versions of their art they can, so the extra time hurts, but it’s obviously for the best.)

What I’m most excited for is probably the cover art. The first two have been awesome, and the artist said he’d likely do print sales for all three when the third’s revealed. My wallet cries but my heart does not.

What I dare not be excited for is the potential for Gideon and Harrow meeting again and perhaps hugging. In their own bodies.

I’d take other bodies, but ideally, y’know.

Also I would love for Harrow to finally meet her popsicle girlfriend.

I doubt it would be a wholly positive experience, but by golly I want it. Maybe they could hug too. It would probably kill Harrow again, but who doesn’t expect several people to die again in the third book?

However it plays out, I’m expecting to enjoy AtN. The writing’s the sort that I’ll happily follow wherever it goes. For everything else, there’s fanfic. The only real worry I have is the whole book will be narrated by Ianthe, and while I mentally groan at that, I actually find Ianthe’s commentary delightful, so even in the worst case scenario I’m having a good time.

Thank you so much for the ask.

[teacherunicorn]

Delores Theadosia Hargreeves

Chapter Nine

@tomisbaeholland

*Nine Years Old*

For all the times that Delores attempted to play the responsible adult, it was difficult to remember at times that she was just a kid herself.

Such reminders were present no more than when Theodore came to visit the manor.

The blood son didn’t announce or plan his visits, he simply turned up whenever his funds got low or whenever Reginald happened to summon him. The children knew of his existence, in the vague sort of way one knows of a distant cousin, but had never actually been introduced to the man.

Which explained their utter confusion when they found him speaking tersely with their older sister in the living room one morning.

“ — surprised he hasn’t sent you off to some boarding school yet.”

“My studies are going just fine independently, thank you.”

Delores was scratching away in a notebook whilst studying the pages of a thick tomb in front of her. The stranger with her hair color was applying the same studious gaze to an aged bottle of wine.

“Eight?” Alison was the one who spoke, bringing their attention to them.

“Ah, these must be the replacements!” Theodore said with false cheer. “The old man always did covet the best of everything, you know.”

“Children, run along to the dining room, breakfast ought to be on the table by now.” Delores’ voice held no kind of cheer, which set everyone on edge immediately.

“Oh come now dear, they should meet their older brother, don’t you think?” Not waiting for an answer, the man stepped around the bar. “Theodore Hargreeves. Lovely, to meet you all.”

"Don't patronize them, father." Delores said flatly. "Even you're better than that."

The man smirked and chuckled wryly. "Oh, that struck a nerve. You seem protective of your little digits."

"Will you be staying for breakfast?" Delores' notebook closed sharply as she stood. "Or are you planning to keep your freeloading to the vintage wine this morning?"

"Oh I'm sure your metal caretaker will set something aside for me." Theodore picked up a corkscrew and went back to the wine bottle. "Don't let me keep you."

Delores pushed past the children still standing in the doorway but they all followed after her on instinct.

"Dee?" Luther spoke up, closest to her side in the small crowd. "Are you okay?"

"I'm always okay, Luther."

"You don't have to be."

Diego scurried up to her other side and tapped on her shoulder blade. "Y-you're all t-tensed up. F-Fluid like w-w-water, r-remember?"

The corner of Delores' mouth pulled up a little. "Yeah. Come on, we don't want breakfast to get cold."

The meal was quiet, as all meals in the Hargreeves household were, save for a Herr Carlson broadcast playing on the radio. The silent conversation was booming however; as the children all looked between each other and their caretaker, silently plotting.

And if Delores happened to get the fluffiest pancake passed to her, or the crispiest piece of bacon....well, that was surely a coincidence.

********

Theodore lingered in the manor for a week. During that time, while Reginald did not allow him in training sessions, he seemed to butt in everywhere else.

The passive aggressive tension could be cut with one of Diego's knives. Delores was clearly uncomfortable around her father and for whatever reason he seemed to enjoy needling her. The children did their best to come up with reasons to separate them; needing help on an assignment, with training, a few fights were even staged for her to break up.

It was late one evening when father and son were locked away in his office doing who knew what that Luther pulled his record player from where it his under his bed -- a birthday present from Delores several years ago.

Children behave, that's what they say when we're together

And watch how you play, they don't understand

Looking up from one of her experiments at her desk, Delores seemed faintly surprised before chuckling.

And so we're runnin just as fast as we can

Holdin onto one another's hand

Tryin to get away into the night

Standing up, Delores opened her bedroom door to find her seven charges dancing in the hallway. Well, none of them really knew how to dance, but that just made it all the more entertaining.

And then you put your arms around me

And we tumble to the ground

And then you say

All with vastly different dancing styles, suffice it to say that her siblings looked ridiculous. But they were smiling. Five appeared next to her in her doorway -- Delores barely flinched anymore as she had grown used to this -- and took a hold of her hand.

"Hitchhike." He squeezed her fingers.

"Copy." Delores nodded.

In a typical wave of blue, the two vanished and reappeared right in the middle of the hallway turned dancefloor.

I think we're alone now

There doesn't seem to be anyone around

I think we're alone now

"The beating of our hearts is the only sound!" Klaus sang along with the track, loudly and off key.

"Well it's the only sound in tune." Ben sniggered, causing his brother to pout. He yelped in surprise as Klaus grabbed onto his hands and proceeded to spin them both around in circles as the music continued.

Delores smiled.

Yeah. Theodore didn't matter. This was her family.

Next

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Chocolate Box 2021 Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me with any questions.

Elsinore | Fullmetal Alchemist | The Locked Tomb | Motherland: Fort Salem | Simoun

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

Requesting fic; open to art treats!

—

Fandom: Elsinore

Relationship(s): Hamlet & Ophelia; Hamlet & Horatio & Ophelia; Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia

I found the friendships in this game, and the different ways that characters can reconcile or try to find a way forward together, to be really sweet and moving, and I'd love to read something that focused on those relationships of trust and support. I like how important Ophelia and Horatio's counsel and friendship is in timelines where Hamlet becomes king; I like Hamlet regretting how he behaved towards Ophelia and striving to live through his depression and find out what it is that he wants, not what everyone else wants of him; I like seeing childhood friends Bernardo and Laertes and Ophelia and Hamlet, whose growing-up has stretched them so far apart, taking time to catch up and enjoy each other's company a little.

So, futurefic in one of the timelines where everything doesn't go to shit? A timeline that we don't see? (There is something narratively interesting to me in Permanence/Passion in that the entire plot of Hamlet ends up as a distant backstory to someone's full life; I don't know how compatible that idea is with these requests, but if you want to write any of these groups fucking off to Italy or Constantinople or London and living until the Elsinore pressure-cooker is a distant memory, I'd be just as happy with that as with fic about them building some kind of future together still in Denmark, trying to make it better for its people and to hold on to who they are as individuals, and friends, beyond their roles.) If you want to write Hamlet/Ophelia, Hamlet/Horatio, or for that matter Horatio/Bernardo as shippy, I'm fine with that, but I don't want a focus on the romantic aspects of their relationship.

Fandom-Specific DNW: death of requested characters within the timeline being explored, or focus on death of requested characters. These characters die in this game a lot and I don't need you to pretend entirely that it's not a time loop game, but I would like them to be happy. If you write the Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia request, I'm fine with either or both names/pronouns for Bernardo|Katherine, but I don't want to read a story focused on their gender or coming-out. Please don't include Peter Quince as a character (you do not need to retcon, you know, the existence of the time loop).

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Relationship(s): Maria Ross/Olivier Mira Armstrong

I'll admit: I am a shallow, shallow person who loves the heartwarming and id-satisfying Briggs loyalty-kink complex (The watch! Buccaneer handing Olivier a clean pair of gloves after she kills Raven! Constant and deeply sincere saluting! Olivier’s explanation of why she wants Miles around and her lack of patience for anyone’s shit) but would like an f/f manifestation of it for actual shipping. Post-canon or AU where Maria is assigned to Briggs, or works for Olivier in Central? Does Maria foil a plot against Olivier, or Olivier save Maria's life in battle? Does Olivier order Maria into a firefight? Hit me.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Olivier/men, even mentioned.

—

Fandom: The Locked Tomb

Relationship(s): Abigail Pent & Dulcinea Septimus; Gideon the First & Matthias Nonius

Dulcie and Nonius were two of my favorite additions to the cast in Harrow the Ninth (and Dulcie in "Doctor Sex" via letter). I loved everything we learned about Dulcie - her wit, her quick thinking in a pinch when confronted by Cytherea and her secret to Harrow. I found her "The only thing preventing me from being exactly who I wanted..." speech both genuinely moving and very funny, and I love her thirst for revenge. What else might she and Abigail Pent, "independent research? it isn't even my birthday!" daredevil spirit-talker par excellence who has just conjured up a ghost out of an epic poem, get up to after Harrow's bubble collapses? Or what were they up to when they weren't on screen in Harrow's dream, putting together this whole, well, play?

Nonius's arrival, entire scene, and departure to fight the Beast made me very, very happy on levels I have trouble explaining. It was so heartwarming?! Because it was impossible, and because poetry won, and because they went off to do the best they could...I don't know, exactly. I'd love to read either more about his mysterious past with Gideon the First, or about their second encounter as allies (throw in Marta, Ortus and Pro if you like as well!)

Fandom-Specific Exception: to my unrequested ships DNW, Dulcie/Cam & Dulcie/Pal. I love their three strand thing.

—

Fandom: Motherland: Fort Salem

Relationship(s): Abigail Bellweather/Raelle Collar

I fell hard for this show and Abigail/Raelle is the ship I’m most excited about - they get off to a bad start for all kinds of personal history reasons and have problems with each other, but when it gets down to the wire Abigail would do anything for Raelle and is very gung-ho about having Raelle’s unconventional but extremely powerful magic under her leadership, regardless of Raelle being a loose cannon. She told her she loved her!! <3 And by the end, Raelle also clearly knows what Abigail's going through (like when she talks her down in "Citydrop"), respects her leadership, and cares deeply about her and wants to protect her in return. I love that loyalty dynamic, and their competence as fighters/witches.

Physical combat, strength in general, magical strength, ability to work magic together, knowledge of the magical canon vs. out-of-the-box techniques...what parts of their skills and their bond could be challenged in the weird dimension that the end of season 1 leaves them in? Or when they get back home and new challenges await? (In my head, the decision not to send them to War College is not revoked; the unit becomes some kind of special-forces secret strike team rather than cannon fodder.) Maybe something where Raelle goes/has gone into a fight as a berserker-type for Abigail and then comes back to her, or where Abigail protects/has protected her soldier (her girl!! I love her protectiveness of Raelle towards the other cadets, imagine it in a battle!)? Or an arranged marriage AU where it's usual for witch soldiers to marry to combine their magic power or something...

I would also be up for smut for them, especially something d/s-y where the loyalty-kinky dynamic of Raelle being Abigail's weapon, at her command, is echoed in sex!

Fandom-Specific DNW: sex solely for magical purposes without an emotional connection (sex for magical purposes is fine), focus on Raylla (I don't need you to retcon it, but please don't dwell either on Raelle still having feelings for Scylla or on her getting over Scylla for Abigail), Scylla bashing, Abigail/Adil (I would prefer to imagine, if he is mentioned in the fic, that they’re just friends).

—

Fandom: Simoun

Relationship(s): Aer/Neviril; Aer/Neviril & Neviril/Paraietta; Aer/Neviril/Paraietta; Aer & Floef & Neviril & Paraietta & Rodoreamon & Vyuraf

Aer, and Aer/Neviril, really grew on me on my recent rewatch. I appreciated her more as the determined bit-of-a-loose-cannon, who grows into a respected role in the choir, than the manic pixie this time, and noted Neviril's comments about how she was drawn to Aer's determination. (I've written a lot more about what I love and am interested in about Neviril and the show in general, her journey of figuring out what it means to her exactly to lead an air force, here.) I'd love to know what happens to them post-canon - what is the "new world" and their travel in it like? It's an escape for them, sure, but what are they escaping to, not just from? Are there problems there, too?

I'd also be up for a poly situation where Neviril is involved with both Aer and Paraietta, her long-loyal second-in-command whom she's blessed and forgiven, as a V where they're friends or as a triangle where Aer and Paraietta are also involved (I don't quite know what that leg of the triangle would look like but I do like how they work together in battle even when they're shown as having personal issues.)

If Neviril and Aer make it back to the main world when war is brewing again, as at the end of the series, but their old cohort can't fly anymore, what do they see their role as being? Does Neviril see herself as a leader for peace, for war, for something else? How do they interact with their former squadmates, whether as part of a more plotty piece or not?

I could be interested in explicit fic for this canon, as an option - the series is, on some level, about the contrast between the reality and physicality of their bodies and the general perception of what they do (which even in its non-spiritual military capacity is removed from a connection to their bodies via the Simoun aircraft), about becoming an adult, and of course about gender.

Fandom-Specific DNW: I'm not really interested in Kaim and Alty and would prefer for them not to appear or for their backstory to come up. I would also not like to see pre-timeskip Dominuura/Limone.

[emma-nation]

Within You - Bloodbound AU - Chapter 6

Summary: One year after defeating Gaius, the gang has finally found peace… Until a tragic incident awakens the ultimate and most dangerous threat they ever faced.

Genre: Angst/Adventure/Romance

Rating: T - Warning for violence and language

Notes:

- Sequel to the fics For You, In The Daylight and Without You. You can read all of them here.

- Sorry, I couldn't resist using the garden plot 😍

- In case anyone is wondering this is the song I picked for their wedding dance. I just thought it fits them really well.

Tag List: @supersphynxsworld​​​, @lightning-fury​​​, @spacecarrousel​​​, @tigerbryn11, @gavryllo​​​, @annabellewerecorgi​​​, @whoinvitedalx​​​, @sheyah​​​, @imnotdonewiththeelementalists​​​, @scaryqueenbee, @bigmemesplz, @la-guerra-69, @kamilahsayeed-owns-me​​​, @morvengarde​​​, @tephy24​​​, @iam-the-fuckin-queen​​​​​, @voltos9, @scorpistraub​​​​​, @leavemeandmyshipsalone​​​​​, @jen825​​​​​, @andreear17​​​​​, @justejuste727​​​​​, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices​​​​​, @mrskamilxh​​​​, @msuhailey, @zoe6111​​​​, @noodledragon22​​​​​, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh​​​​, @ilovetaylor13m​​​​, @ilovekamilahsayeed​​​​, @allaboutchoices​​​​, @fal-carrington​​​​, @scarlet-letter-a0114, @trouble-with-the-curve

Kamilah

A couple of days had passed since the failure of the debut party. Amy couldn't be more distant and hurt, even if all the misfortunes of that night weren't Kamilah's fault directly.

When she arrived home from work that night, the girl was still on the couch wearing an oversized t-shirt and watching a TV show. Empty ice cream containers and Cheetos packages were lying on the coffee table. An antique and rare coffee table Kamilah bought decades ago in an auction. That was a major red flag that she needed to do something urgently to fix the situation her wife.

After a quick shower, Kamilah went to the kitchen and prepared dinner. Mac n' Cheese. With all the food in the world, Amy seemed to enjoy that above anything. Not even the fanciest restaurants she visited could change her mind. Respecting that, Kamilah prepared a more refined version of that dish.

Amy was quite surprised to see her in the kitchen.

"You're cooking," she pointed. "Aren't we ordering?"

"Not tonight," Kamilah told.

The girl sat at one of the counters to watch her add the final touches to the dish.

"Mac n' Cheese?! You find it distasteful."

"But you love it, don't you? I'm learning from your tastes I guess."

Amy silenced and look at her in disbelief.

"Wow, we have been ordering for weeks. We never have time to cook something nice. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Absolutely, Amy. I was just thinking, we have all the time in the world. We should make the best of it. That's why we need to start changing some habits."

"Like what?" Amy asked.

"Let me see," Kamilah took her cell phone from her pocket and handed to her wife. "This is my schedule from now. I'm not working over 8 hours a day or traveling so often. I need to spend more time with you."

A smile finally lighted up Amy's pretty face. Her green eyes sparkled with joy.

"I... I'd like that."

"And so do I," Kamilah placed a kiss on her lips. "There's something else."

"What is it?"

"I'll show you tomorrow."

As she predicted, Amy was curious for the rest of the night, trying to guess what other change Kamilah could be planning for their lives. 

"Are we... buying a boat?" She attempted a guess.

"No," Kamilah furrowed her brows confused. "Why? Would you like that?"

"I don't know, I'm just guessing."

She turned off the lamps, but she still could sense her wife awake and intrigued, even in the dark.

"Are you finally letting me adopt a cat?" Amy grinned. She had been begging for that in months. Kamilah always postponed with the excuse they spent too much time away from home.

"Uh... no," Kamilah sighed. "But I'll think about that too. I promise."

She kept it a surprise until lunch time, when she texted Amy requesting her presence at their house in Hamptons.

"Meet you there," she added.

----------

Amy

Everything about Amy's debut party had gone terribly wrong. Especially the hangover, that felt way worse now she was a vampire, when she woke up in the morning. And also the flashbacks of her arguments with Kamilah.

"God, I should've waited until the Awakening Ball just like everyone else."

She still couldn't sit down and talk things out with her wife for the following couple days. Not until she was able to fully calm down and process her feelings. Maybe she acted too harsh. Kamilah always hated being away from home for too long. She made sure of calling all the time to check how she was doing. She'd also surprise her with gifts from all her trips. That realization made Amy suddenly feel extremely guilty.

"I'm a horrible wife," Amy lamented drowning herself in ice cream.

Kamilah was the one to raise the peace flag. She cooked them dinner. Her favorite meal. Her own version of it, at least. She always wondered how Mac n' Cheese could be Amy's all-time favorite dish. In the end, she apologized and promised she'd be spend less time working and traveling, dedicating herself more to their marriage. That was enough to soften Amy's heart, but Kamilah still had another surprise.

It was about lunch time when she texted her asking her to go to their Hamptons' house. Amy quickly grabbed her car and started driving, wondering what she could be planning.

"Okay," Amy said when she arrived, "I'm here but... what's the matter?"

"Follow me," Kamilah ordered. She walked to a green area they had outside the house, surrounded by trees but rather empty. "Isn't it a perfect place for a garden?"

Amy opened a huge grin. Kamilah always dreamed of having a garden on her own and now she was able to walk in the sun, she finally could.

"That's right! It has always been your dream."

"I was thinking we should dedicate more time doing things we love."

For a few minutes, she heard as her wife gladly explained her plans for the space. Then, she had something else to show her inside the house.

"Kamilah," Amy's eyes went wide in surprise. "You really bought... a piano?!"

"You said you've always wanted to learn," Kamilah sat down at the piano by her side. "I'd be more than glad to teach you."

"You never told me you could play!"

"Well, it has been a few centuries."

She started playing the first notes of the song they picked for the first dance as a married couple. The way her fingers moved graciously, hitting every note with perfection and her sweet  low voice, singing along with the melody, made Amy's eyes fill with tears.

"That was not supposed to make you cry," Kamilah stopped.

"I know," Amy smiled and wiped off the tears from her face. "But it was just... wonderful."

"Enough for you to forgive me for the last few days?"

"Kamilah, I... I should be the one to apologize for the way I acted. It wasn't your fault."

“Amy, I’m truly sorry,” Kamilah sighed. “You died in my arms, I can't bear the thought of losing you again. This is why I want to protect you and make sure you’re safe all the time.”

“I understand,” Amy spoke. “But I’m no longer frail and vulnerable as before, you know. I need to learn from my new powers and instincts.”

“I won’t lie to you, Amy. Being a vampire can be amazing, but it also can be a disgrace. It can change and destroy you. It can turn you into your worst self. I don’t want you to go through the same experiences I did.”

“I won’t, trust me. Now regarding the darkness…”

Amy finally revealed the two occasions where she saw a dark version of herself, capable of killing her own wife.

“I told Lysimachus and we both believe they’re unreal and could be produced by…”

“The First Vampire,” Kamilah completed.

Amy had tears in her eyes again when she finished her story.

“I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?”

"Of course," Kamilah pulled her closer to her body, embracing her tightly. "Whatever that bitch is up to, we'll fight together."

With her face buried on Kamilah's shoulder, Amy let out a muffled laugh.

"What?"

"You said 'bitch'."

"Yes," Kamilah laughed too, caressing her hair, "I did."

----------

Lysimachus

After waking up in the morning after the party, Lysimachus locked himself alone inside his apartment, ashamed of his own actions. Not only he got very drunk, but he ended up in bed with two women, one of them being Priya.

He'd check his answering machine and his messages at every thirty minutes, waiting for an answer from Ivy. Or a text from Katherine. But there was nothing. 

Loneliness had never been a problem for him, but he truly desired to have someone who he could share his theories and suspicions.

"Hey," Adrian said as he entered the office. "I was starting to wonder what the hell you were. I barely saw you at the party."

"Oh well," Lysimachus sighed, "let's not talk about the party."

"So why are you here for?"

"I've been training with Amy and she has shared some of her latest visions with me. Together with the stuff I heard from Balthazar... I think the First may be back."

"What?" Adrian sat in front of him, reading carefully all his notes. "When the sap of the tree rests in the blessed chalice... the First shall walk again... Oh my god."

"I tried to make sense of these words but..." Lysimachus told, "nothing comes to my mind."

"What if the 'blessed chalice' is actually Amy, this generation's Bloodkeeper, and the 'sap of the tree' is any vampire's blood? Kamilah's blood when she Turned her?"

"Makes sense. But did we ever find her tomb?"

"I had some clues," Adrian told. "With the help of Serafine, I came to the conclusion she was there all along, inside the tree."

"And assuming she's free, where she could be right now?" Lysimachus wondered. "I mean, she spent over two millennia inside that damn tree. It's not like she'd know how to catch a plane or even speak our language!"

"We need to pay attention to all vampires, all over the world."

"How do we do that?"

They called the most appropriate person who could help them with that task, Lily Spencer. Most of the vampires from all over the world were part of the Fangbook, her social network. Including from Europe and the Five from Japan.

"Lily, send them a warning," Adrian ordered. "Any unknown vampires sightings must be reported to us. We need to be aware."

Then, he went to his desk to make a call.

"According to my friend Elias, no one has been seen around Mydea since we destroyed the Order's compound. Only my researchers when they extracted those samples."

"Guys..." Lily was pensive for a second. "If she has this connection with Amy, her first impulse would be to come to find her, right? What if she's already headed here somehow?"

"We have to pay attention. Any new vampires in New York must be carefully studied by The Council."

Lysimachus quickly had two people in mind. Rheya, Kamilah's new employee, and Nadine, the female vampire he slept with. He'd be investigating them by himself before taking extreme measures.

He set a dinner with Rheya first, with the excuse he'd like to interview her before the voting process with The Council. She showed up just in time, wearing a business suit. That woman was extremely gorgeous. She radiated confidence and kindness. He wasn't able to notice that so well at the party.

"How were you Turned?" Was his first question.

"I lived with my husband and daughter at a small village in Greece," she told. "A king was willing to take possession of our lands. Most of our people got slaughtered, including my family. Gaius Augustine found me and Turned me."

Rheya wouldn't break eye contact for a single moment, or exhibit any signs that suggested she could be lying.

"Gaius... what did you think of him?"

"A real maniac. I deeply despise that man for not letting me join my family in death. Only to use my pain to turn me into my worst self, but... when I noticed what I was getting into, I resisted. I escaped."

She couldn't help letting her emotions show telling this last part of her story.

"And then you spent centuries in Europe, until the Order caught you?"

"Exactly. I was tortured, humiliated and..." she broke down in tears. Lysimachus sighed, feeling bad for submitting that poor woman to those questions. 

He apologized and offered her a tour around New York. She was mesmerized by the buildings and attractions the city had to offer. 

"The Phantom Of The Opera," Rheya said, reading a flyer about the current attractions playing at Broadway. 

"Are you a fan?" Lysimachus asked.

"I find it amusing and strangely familiar. A mysterious creature, living in the shadows, who mentors a young artist he becomes fascinated with."

"Fascinated? The man develops an obsession."

"That's a way to see it. Maybe he believed they could've accomplish something greater together. A real masterpiece."

"A real tragedy, you mean."

Rheya stared at him serious for a second. That very same look that brought him chills at the party. Then, she grinned playfully.

"Hey," she patted him on the shoulder. "I was just toying with you, you're always so tense. He sorta reminds me of Gaius himself, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Lysimachus relaxed and smiled too, "the obsession he had with my sister. It was very similar."

They spent the next hour joking and chatting about their favorite books and movies. Nothing about Rheya indicated danger.

There was only one option. Priya's friend.

----------

Kamilah

They had barely started to enjoy their timing together when Kamilah had to stop and answer her cell phone that was ringing insistently, even thought she told at the company she didn't want to be contacted. For her surprise, it was Amy's mother. She was headed to New York to meet them.

With everything that was happening recently, Kamilah had forgotten about that one detail. The detail Mrs. Parker was familiar with her nature.

"What?!" Amy asked when she told. "How does she know?! I mean, I never told her anything!"

"I don't know," Kamilah was focused on the road back home. "Didn't you let any details slip?"

"No, I'm pretty sure. She'd be deadly worried if I told. You know how paranoid and overprotective my parents can be."

Kamilah was pensive for a moment. She remembered the papers Serafine gave her. The Bloodkeeper abilities could be passed from mothers to their daughters. Now it all started to make sense. Now she knew why Mrs. Parker hated her from the beginning.

"It explains a lot of things," Amy said. "When I was a child she had those moments were she'd become distant. Sometimes she'd spend hours locked in the bedroom."

"I'm surprised how she allowed this marriage to happen. I mean, she probably saw... things about me. Things I've done in the past."

Amy cracked into laughs.

"Hey, this isn't funny!" Kamilah frowned, quickly blushing and trying to hide an embarrassed smile. "Okay, maybe it is. But not in a good way."

They arrived shortly after Mrs. Parker. Kamilah invited her to the penthouse and prepared some tea. That conversation promised to be intense. In the living room, Amy was sitting on the couch in front of her mother, showing some discomfort.

"So Mrs. Parker," Kamilah decided to break the tension, "what brings you here?"

"Amy hasn't been really answering my calls or properly replying my texts," the woman accepted the cup of tea Kamilah offered. "I came here to check how she's doing."

"I'm sorry," Amy said. "I just have a lot going on right now. There's my job at the company and I've been focused on... my training."

"You're a vampire now."

"Y-Yes. How do you feel about it?"

Kamilah decided to leave mother and daughter alone. That conversation should be private between them. She locked herself in her home office, remembering her own mother. She wondered how she'd feel about the path both of her children followed in life. Would she ever forgive them for everything they had done? For what they had became?

One thing she was sure, her mother would have loved Amy. No one could dislike that girl. She had something magical in her personality and in that bright smile. She was able to gain the affection of everyone she met.

"Kamilah?" Mrs. Parker knocked at her door some time later. Her eyes suggested the conversation with Amy was full of emotions. "Can we talk for a moment?"

"Sure," Kamilah pointed at the chair in front of her desk. The woman sat down and sighed, thinking of her words.

"First of all, I'd like to thank you for saving my daughter's life. Even though you had to Turn her."

"I... I would give my life to protect her. I apologize for not noticing earlier she was in trouble. Trust me, Turning her was the last of my options."

"I know."

There was an awkward moment of silence. Looking into Amy's mother eyes, Kamilah wasn't sure of her perceptions about her anymore. The fact she had access to her entire past made her feel very vulnerable.

"So, you're a Bloodkeeper," she spoke. "Like Amy."

"I wasn't familiar with the term until now," Mrs. Parker told. "But yes, I've had these visions since early and so did my daughter. This is why I was concerned for her safety."

"Especially when she got involved with me."

"Exactly."

Kamilah closed her eyes, remembering Amy's mother reaction since the very first moment they met. She had all the reasons in the world to fear her, to feel disgusted and wish for a different future for her daughter.

"I'm not proud of who I used to be, or the things I've done in the past. However, I can't change it. Everyday I have to face the guilt. I hope you know, Mrs. Parker, I'm an entirely different person now. And Amy did help me. She makes me want to be better everyday."

The corners of the woman's mouth curled up in a small smile. She placed her hand on Kamilah's in reassurance.

"I can't say I accept it, but I'm not judging you. Not anymore. I can see that. I can see how Amy has grown with you, Kamilah. I can see how happy you make her. This is why I'm willing to give you a chance."

"I appreciate that."

----------

Amy

"How do you feel about it?" 

That was probably the hardest question Amy had to ask her mom. She never had a good relationship with her. Since she was little, Mrs. Parker was a distant and closed parent. Sometimes she felt unloved, rejected by the woman who brought her to life.

The conflicts between them intensified when Amy became a teenager. Her mother was excessively protective and mistrusted her actions. One of the reasons why she wanted to leave their small town and explore the world. She wanted to escape the suffocating environment of her home. And she wanted to prove her wrong. She wanted Mrs. Parker to know she was capable of living on her own, doing what she loved.

"I can't say I'm happy," her mother said. "But otherwise, you'd be dead. I couldn't lose you, Amy. You're the most important thing in my life."

A small spark of anger appeared in Amy's heart. Somehow she felt betrayed. If she had been told about the visions, about what they were since early, she'd be prepared. She'd be stronger.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, grinding her teeth. "Y-You always knew it! You had visions and you hid it from me. Instead, you... you pushed me away. You made me feel unloved. How could you???"

At this point, she was already standing up with tears in her eyes and clenched fists.

"Amy..." her mother grabbed her shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes. "I wanted to protect you. When I noticed you were faded to experience those visions too, I... I was scared for you."

"What about dad? Does he know?"

"Yes, he does. For years he supported me, helping me to find all kinds of treatments, medication, therapy... Needless to say it was useless."

Amy stopped for a moment, trying to process what she was hearing. Most of her life, her father was all she had. During her mother's crisis moments he'd do his best to comfort her and keep her distracted. He'd assure her that her mom was experiencing a strong headache or stress due to work. He was also a liar.

She let out a small ironic laugh.

"Great," Amy shook her head in denial. "My whole life is a lie."

"It doesn't have to be," Mrs. Parker grabbed both of her hands, "not anymore."

In silence, she heard her mother's stories about her dreams and visions. It all started with a cave and a tree, the mysterious woman and her two soldiers. Long before Amy moved to New York, Mrs. Parker already knew Adrian Raines and Kamilah Sayeed, without even knowing her daughter would accidentally become so close to them.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's fate," she finished. "If all of this has a bigger purpose. For me and especially for you."

"I wonder about that too," Amy agreed. "Especially now my abilities have... expanded."

After telling her about The First Vampire, she closed her eyes and she could hear her mother's thoughts. She was hurt, traumatized by those visions. She carried an immense guilty and regret for keeping them a secret, wondering how different Amy's life could have been. There was only one thing she desired in that moment... forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, Amy. For all I've done. I love you more than anything in this world and I only intended to keep you safe. And I'm sorry for being so intolerant about your relationship with Kamilah in the beginning. Once I got to know her, I figured out she's not the monster from my visions."

"That's okay, mom. I'd have probably done the same in your place. Most of the time I kept my visions a secret too. I understand why you did it."

Amy embraced her mother tightly, catching a glimpse of a memory from when she was pregnant with her. How she chose her name, meaning 'beloved' and how she'd sing for her. A tear ran down across her cheek. For the first time, she felt so connected to her mom as most of the daughters were.

"Is it..." her mother started sobbing too, "is too late to make it up for our lost time?"

"Not at all, mom," Amy smiled.

"Good, I'm going home and I'll be sending you some journals and drawings I kept from my visions."

"Thank you so much, it'll be a great help."

After Mrs. Parker left, all Amy wished for was to cuddle with her wife in bed. Kamilah patiently listened while she told her everything about her conversation with her mom.

"I feel better know, you know?" She said. "All my life I felt so unloved and rejected, but now I know I was wrong. She loves me, Kamilah. And I guess she's starting to like you too."

"Really?" Kamilah sighed. "Yet, I don't feel any less embarrassed to know your mother can look at me and access my memories. It's still intimidating."

She couldn't help but laughing again. Her wife eventually stop fighting against her own smile too.

"I feel like a weight has been removed from my chest now I've forgiven her and I was thinking..." she paused, raising her head and facing Kamilah. "I'd like to start a family on my own someday."

"Oh. Someday?"

"Soon?"

"Soon as...?"

"As in the next couple years? Like when we solve things regarding the First Vampire or when I'm completely adjusted to my powers?"

Kamilah took a moment to respond. Then, she kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to her chest again.

"It think I'd love that," she finally said.

----------

Lysimachus

After solving things with her wife, Kamilah had finally decided to make it up to her brother too. Amy had told her about the visions and hearing his version of the facts, she agreed with his suspicions.

"How do we find her?" She asked. "She could be anywhere."

"This is what I'm trying to figure out," he answered.

The meeting with Nadine was nothing but a disaster. She was just a young foreign vampire, lost and confused, who was being quite mentored by Priya, what wouldn't probably go well. There wasn't a single part of her that indicated she could be a vampire goddess. Lysimachus took her to the Shadow Den, Jax would probably provide her the guidance she needed.

Kamilah followed him to the warehouse he turned into a personal training center. It was time for another combat lesson with Amy.

"Kamilah," the girl smiled in excitement to see her, "you decided to join us?"

"Yes," she cracked her knuckles, "my twin brother's technique has some weak spots. You don't want to get them for yourself."

"Teach me your ways," Lysimachus mocked her, master."

They had just started training with daggers. He taught Amy some basic moves, but she would easily become bored and beg for more complex stunts.

"Okay then, Kamilah and I will be doing a little demonstration for you. Then, we can discuss together the moves you should learn."

"Hell yeah, that will be awesome!"

Amy pulled a chair and sat down to watch as Lysimachus and Kamilah positioned themselves for a small, harmless combat. 

Lysimachus waited. He wouldn't strike first. He knew how Kamilah would easily deflect that blow and counter-attack. 

"Well, brother," she teased, "afraid much?"

"No, just being honorable. Ladies first."

They continued to move in circle, facing each other. His sister's gaze was deep and intimidating. Though he was a psychic and a skilled fighter, he could never predict what she was up to.

Lysimachus made the mention of a move, what triggered a reaction from Kamilah. As she placed herself in a defense position, he drew his daggers and attempted to strike.

"Too close," she smirked, ducking and sweeping his legs out from under him.

As he fell on his back, Kamilah's daggers were already pointed to his neck.

"Witchcraft," Lysimachus complained. "It's the only explanation for this abnormal speed of yours."

"Don't be a cry baby," Kamilah continued to brag. "It's called practice and discipline."

None of them saw Amy coming from behind, locking her arm around Kamilah's neck. Though she was caught by surprise, she had no difficult to free herself.

"Nice one, Amy," she complimented. "You must analyze and take advantage of the situation. I'm proud, but now... disarm me."

Amy tried all the techniques she learned from both Kamilah and Lysimachus, but her wife wasn't make it easy for her. 

"Get creative," Kamilah suggested. "Just like you've done. Sometimes technique isn't enough."

The girl was focused on Kamilah's hands. On her daggers. Dodging her attacks but with no clue how to disarm her. 

Kamilah moved forward to strike one more time, but this time her daggers flew away from her hands, hitting the nearest wall.

"W-What... How did you..."

"I didn't do anything," Amy said. 

"Of course you..."

Lysimachus entered the fight, lunging forward for a surprise attack at his sister in law and test her reflexes. He couldn't get any close. Intense balls of energy that came out from her hands, sent him and Kamilah flying across the warehouse.

"Oh my god," Amy covered her mouth in shock. "Are you guys okay? What have I done?!'

Stunned, Lysimachus and his sister exchanged a concerned look. Never in his 2065 years of life he had seen a vampire with those powers. Especially a newly-Turned.

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY King Titus Cromwell and his men land ashore of Tomb Island in search of Xusia of Delos, a long-dead sorcerer who may be the key to overthrowing his rival King Richard, whose land of Ehdan is the richest in the world. Using one of Xusia’s worshipers to awaken him, Cromwell convinces Xusia to join his cause. With the sorcerer’s black magic at his command, Cromwell easily lays waste to Richard’s formidable army.

Eventually, Cromwell becomes eager to be rid of Xusia. Fearing that the sorcerer could turn against him, he attempts to kill Xusia by stabbing him in the chest and chasing him off a cliff. With only one army left to defend the city, King Richard prepares to lead the charge against Cromwell in a last-ditch effort to save Ehdan. He orders his family to evacuate to the river, and entrusts his youngest son Talon with his triple-bladed projectile sword, instructing the boy to avenge his death should it occur.

While searching the corpse-littered battlefield, Talon comes across Mogullen, his father’s closest adviser. Gravely wounded, the old soldier confirms that the battle is lost. At that moment, Talon spies his father in the distance, just seconds before his execution. Enraged, Talon starts off to claim his revenge, but Mogullen warns him that Cromwell will be heading to the river to intercept the queen. Talon desperately races to the river on horseback, but is too late to prevent his mother’s death at Cromwell’s hands. After narrowly surviving an ambush, Talon manages to evade capture and flee from the kingdom.

Eleven years later, Talon returns as a seasoned warrior seeking to avenge his family, even as the sinister Xusia, still very much alive, vows to repay Cromwell for his treachery. In the city of Ehdan, a rebellion has begun under Prince Mikah, son of King Richard’s closest adviser, who many believe to be the rightful heir to the throne. After confirming the final plans with Machelli, Cromwell’s war chancellor (who is secretly a double agent), Mikah relays the news to his sister Alana, but Cromwell suddenly bursts into their hideout and a battle ensues. Although Mikah is captured, Alana flees through the city streets, but is eventually cornered by Cromwell’s men. She is then rescued by Talon, who easily dispatches her assailants.

At a nearby tavern, Alana learns of her brother’s imprisonment and asks Talon to rescue him, along with a faction of rebels who have been recently trapped by Cromwell’s forces. Unable to bribe the lustful mercenary with gold, Alana reluctantly offers herself to him for one night. Satisfied, Talon departs on his mission, but Cromwell’s men arrive shortly thereafter and capture Alana as well.

Successful in freeing the rebels, Talon infiltrates the castle through the sewers and is able to rescue Mikah, but is subsequently detected and captured by Cromwell. After forcing Alana into marriage, Cromwell invites the four neighboring kings to their wedding feast, where he intends to assassinate them with Talon crucified in the dining hall. Before the plot can be carried out, Talon summons the strength to pull himself free of the crucifix, just seconds before the rebels, led by Mikah, storm into the dining hall and overpower Cromwell’s soldiers.

Cromwell attempts to flee the castle with Alana in tow, but Talon intercepts them. Machelli then takes custody of Alana and brings her to the catacombs beneath the castle, where he reveals his true identity as Xusia. Although Cromwell tries to intercede, he is no match for the sorcerer, but Talon is able to resist Xusia’s power long enough to strike him down with his projectile sword. He then engages Cromwell in combat, finally slaying the evil king. Afterwards, Talon saves Alana from a giant constrictor snake, but Xusia suddenly rises again, prompting Talon to finish off the sorcerer with a blade concealed in his gauntlet.

Having no wish to rule the kingdom, Talon yields the crown of Ehdan to Mikah, and Alana honors her commitment to spend one night with her brother’s savior. As Talon and the mercenaries prepare to leave Ehdan, they are approached by Rodrigo, a member of Mikah’s rebellion, who asks to join them. Talon agrees, and the group sets off for another adventure.

DEVELOPMENT The Sword and the Sorcerer,” explains Brandon Chase, producer of the independent fantasy hit. “Our company, Group 1, is a distribution company-it has been for 15 years – and we decided that the picture had the profile of a winner. We decided that if we made a deal with a major, we wouldn’t be able to retain as much money as we would if we distributed it ourselves and gave it that hand-care kind of treatment. With majors you tend to get lost in the shuffle, especially if it’s a movie they don’t know how to sell.”

When Chase first heard of the Sword and the Sorcerer property, the screenplay had already been making the rounds. Chase recalls, “The three guys who put it all together – John Stuckmeyer, Thomas Karnowski and Albert Pyun-had been peddling it for about five years. They’d gone everywhere with it and been turned away. They came up here and we weren’t that thrilled with it either. And then Excalibur came out and we saw the box office numbers on that. We figured that maybe this is a new genre. We pushed the button right after Excalibur.”

The director of this ambitious project was one of the screenwriters, Albert Pyun, a 26 year old who had never directed a feature-length picture before. Chase says Pyun got the call to direct, even though he had little experience, because “he was tied to the project. In other words, they (Pyun, Karnowski and Stuckmeyer) had worked on it all these years and they felt that he should have a shot.” Chase admits he was nervous about trusting such an elaborate property with a first-time director, but even though he had the option of dismissing Pyun at any time he let him stay on. The producer feels that the experienced crew on the picture was able to keep things running smoothly. “Having Joe Mangine as cinematographer, who has directed himself, and guys like George Costello on art direction as well as experienced lighting people to watch over Pyun allowed us to keep him on for the whole picture. It was a unique kind of experience for Pyun, but now, I think, he has some experience behind him, and I think he’s learned a lot from this movie. If he gets another job | think he’ll do a lot better.”

To make the Sword and the Sorcerer, dungeons, costumes and medieval weaponry had to be designed and made, and an extensive array of special effects had to be engineered: the hero wields a tri-bladed sword whose three blades take off like rockets towards their targets; 120 faces come alive on the side of a mausoleum; a chest bursts open; the hands of the sorcerer glow; actor George Maharis reaches up to the top of his head and splits it right down the middle as he speaks. A production of this sort would be a demanding task for a full-scale studio production with tens of millions of dollars at its disposal, let alone for a four-million dollar independent feature. Working within this relatively limited budget the Sword and the Sorcerer team came across with a picture of impressive production value. Chase explains: Unlike the big studios, we’re not locked into certain ways of spending money. We get a lot more up on the screen per dollar.”

Chase’s thoroughness in overseeing every aspect of the picture was crucial to maximizing the production value on The Sword and the Sorcerer. Says Chase, “We made sure that in those areas of vital necessity, such as set design, costume design and cinematography, we had the absolute best people. We don’t say, ‘Go build a set and send us the bill.’ We shop first. We actually hired the individual people to bang the nails into the walls. So it’s just by being very careful, by establishing an attitude overall where money’s not to be wasted. We’ve worked with a lot of the same people before on other pictures – we know how good they are, how fast they are, how conscious they are of the dollar. That makes all the difference in the world. The majors, for example, take twice as long to shoot because they’re involved with numerous unions which we don’t have to become involved with. That causes them to take a lot of extra time and spend a lot of money.”

BEHIND THE SCENES/INTERVIEWS Interview with Director Albert Pyun

How did you initially become attached to direct THE SWORD & THE SORCERER? Albert Pyun: SWORD & THE SORCERER was my conception. It took me 4 years to attach an investor. The same is true for most of my films.

What was the inspiration for THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER? Albert Pyun: It was really influenced by the films I had seen in Japan when I was in the second grade. I would go down to Shibuya and watch historical costume dramas and fairytales. I really enjoyed watching them so I brought those elements into THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER, along with stuff like the Lone Wolf and Baby Cart series.

Was there any reservations at directing such an ambitious film? Albert Pyun: None. After spending a year on the storyboards, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

The film was extremely imaginative. How did you respond to the challenge to fulfill your vision on a lower budget? Albert Pyun: I had done a lot of commercials, so I had some experience in how to make cheap compromises that looked good. I knew that if I threw as many ideas up on screen in each shot as I could, some of them would come through.

Did producer, Brandon Chase direct any of the film? I notice it says during the opening credits, ‘A Brandon Chase Film’. Albert Pyun: No, he did not direct any portion of the film. Brandon Chase’s company put up the money which gave them control. I was too young to know better.

Despite CONAN being very different, was Milius’s film ever an intimidating factor during the production of TS&TS? Albert Pyun: No intimidation. Communication about who was making what and how was slim in those days, compared to now. I knew the Conan film was in the works and held admiration for Milius. I personally hoped the film would be tremendous and did not realize SWORD & SORCERER was in competition until later.

What are your memories of working with Lee Horsley? Judging by his performance, he seems to have enjoyed himself as the lead, Talon. Albert Pyun: Horsley was terrific. However, the wig gave him a scalp infection. There was too much blood and he hated being put on that cross.

What was it like working with Richard Lynch? Albert Pyun: It was wonderful and inspiring. Richard was intensely creative. He literally spilled over with ideas everyday. He worked hard to make each scene the best it could be. Richard remains one of the most focused and professional actors I have ever worked with. A very gifted, courageous artist. The Sword and the Sorcerer was actually a quite difficult shoot and I was tempted to quit or was threatened with being fired throughout. Richard and Lee Horsely were instrumental in supporting me.

What are your memories of Richard Moll? Judging by his propensity for doing comedy, was he a cut up on set? Albert Pyun: No, he was not comfortable with the makeup and contact lenses. His cornea got scratched when he emerged from the tomb and he was taken to hospital.

Was there a moment that you, or any of the production crew considered not completing the film after the tragedy that befell stuntman, Jack Tyree? I can only imagine what that must have been like. Albert Pyun: We were all terribly shaken and upset. I was not involved in the discussion of what would happen next. I waited with the crew while the decisions were made. It was tragic and it taught me a lesson. I never had another death on one of my sets.

Veteran stuntman Jack Tyree was filming a scene for The Sword and the Sorcerer on the production’s Malibu set in which he was to jump from an 80-foot cliff. He unfortunately landed a few feet away from his landing airbag, causing severe injuries that ultimately cost his life.

The stunt was ultimately left in the film, despite his tragic passing, and the film was dedicated to him. Tyree was 37.

Did Kathleen Bellar have reservations about her characters (tastefully done) nude scene? I am assuming it was a double during the shot where the camera slowly pans over her body as she is being massaged. Albert Pyun: Yes, she had a body double. I don’t remember any discussions or reservations.

What was the initial critical reaction to the film overall? The public seemed very receptive to the film. Albert Pyun: Gene Siskel loved it and Roger Ebert hated it. That’s indicative of the overall critical reception. Fan reception was very enthusiastic and long lasting.

Are there any memories, good or bad, while shooting the picture, that you would like to share? Albert Pyun: I enjoyed the cast very much. As my first experience directing seasoned actors, it was really fun and magical to see them bring the characters to life.

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Interview with Producer Brandon Chase How did you get involved with The Sword and the Sorcerer?

Brandon Chase: Two years before Excalibur, three young guys [director-cowriter Albert Pyun and coproducer-cowriters Tom Karnowski and John Stuckmeyer] came into this office with a fantasy. I was not excited for two reasons: their own moviemaking naiveté and my misgivings about the genre. Excalibur changed my mind. That movie showed there was an untapped audience for the sword-and-sorcery genre. As soon as I saw Excalibur‘s opening grosses. I said, “Let’s go.” There’s always a danger that when something new catches on, everyone will rush to cash in But the logistics of making a movie like this were too complicated for that to happen, and we were ready, to start right away.

How were you able to make a film full of special effects, with a large cast and almost a hundred stunt men, for so little money? Brandon Chase: In pre-production on a movie of this scale, a big studio has up to 150 people. We had 30. The studios have created an overhead charge of 25 percent on every dollar because of their facilities and bureaucracies. Pre-production was crucial for getting this film made for a price. Our art director, George Costello, didn’t just do line drawings, he did dimensional drawings, so that we could work out camera moves weeks in advance.

Richard Lynch Do you think that your performance as the villainous King Titus Cromwell may have been partly responsible for you getting larger roles in the films that followed? Richard Lynch: On The Sword and the Sorcerer, I am going to give all the credit to the director, Albert Pyun. He is a very creative writer. It’s one of his earliest movies, and he was very inventive what he did with film. It was a difficult film to make, by the way; a person was killed on that picture. There were many difficulties working on it. Films run in cycles and that was the year that they came out with Excalibur, and then there were a whole lot of movies that were just like it. Brandon Chase, one of the producers on The Sword and the Sorcerer, decided to make this little movie, and they made a large profit on it. It was the number one top-grossing independent film worldwide that year. My work stood out, and I won a Saturn award from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror.

Is there anything else that you recall about the production of that film? Richard Lynch: The death of Jack Tyree, who was a wonderful stuntman. God, man, that is a heavy thing to remember, but I remember the day it happened. He jumped off a cliff and missed his airbags. It is a dangerous job, stunt work. I will never forget that, it was a very sad event. The other thing was the heat. We shot a lot of it in Riverside, California, and in those costumes, it was boiling.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

The Chiodos proved quick learners and soon landed their first major assignment: creating a crypt of bloody, fleshy, living heads for Sword and the Sorcerer. Steve and Charlie designed and sculpted more than a hundred urethane puppet heads to cover the five panels of animation needed for the film which were worked, as puppets, from behind. “Siskel and Ebert singled it out as the movie’s scariest part,” says Steve. “But there was some problem with the camera that resulted in the sequence not being highlighted enough. The film was on such a tight shooting schedule that there wasn’t enough time to go back and fix it.”

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Greg Cannom provided the special makeups seen in THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR. Makeup Effects Lab of Hollywood contributed a few “blood and guts” effects –like the black witch’s exploding heart-and Ve Neill did straight and character makeup, as well as burn and torture effects under Cannom’s guidance. Cannom, who created and applied many of the special effects makeups for the THE HOWLING, was able to complete only half of the makeup effects planned for THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR. His four stages of progressive makeup for demon Xusia are particularly impressive. For Xusia’s first appearance as a “fetus-Buddha,” Cannom made foam pieces to fit actor Richard Moll’s body. The pieces were covered in fake blood by Effects Lab of Hollywood and did not need to be highly detailed.

For Xusia’s next appearance, Cannom sculpted a series of foam appliances that gave Moll an extremely wrinkled visage. Cannom jokingly christened this stage the “LITTLE BIG MAN look,” referring to Dick Smith’s classic old age makeup. The third stage was the re-use again of the molds from the “fetus-Buddha.” without the blood and with detail and coloration visible.

The fourth, and most impressive stage is Xusia’s transformation from a man back into a demon. To achieve this startling effect, Cannom used air bladders a la THE HOWLING, a falsechest oozing a mixture of Kayro syrup and black dye and an elaborate fake head which is literally torn in halfand stripped down the sides of a dummy like a banana peel exposing a puppet head of Xusia.

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CAST/CREW Directed Albert Pyun Writing Credits Tom Karnowski John V. Stuckmeyer  Albert Pyun  

Lee Horsley as Prince Talon Kathleen Beller as Princess Alana Simon MacCorkindale as Prince Mikah George Maharis as Machelli, Cromwell War Chancellor Richard Lynch as Titus Cromwell Richard Moll as Xusia

Makeup Department Allan A. Apone        …       special makeup effects (as Allan Apone) Greg Blocker …       makeup assistant: special effects Greg Cannom         …       special makeup effects (as Gregory Cannom) Anthony Esposito    …       hair designer (as Anthony E. Esposito) Jeff Kinney    …       makeup assistant: special effects Karen Kubeck         …       assistant makeup artist

David B. Miller         …       makeup assistant: special effects (as David Miller) Kenny Myers …       makeup assistant: special effects (as Kenney Myers) Ve Neill         …       head makeup artist Mark Shostrom       …       special makeup effects artist Ronald W. Smith     …       hair stylist (as Ron Smith) Douglas J. White     …       special makeup effects (as Douglas White) Vera Yurtchuk         …       assistant makeup artist

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY coolasscinema money-into-light SensCritique looper La Cosa Cine Fantastico Issue #113 rollingstone.com Fangoria#21 Cinefantastique v12n05-06 (1981) Tales from the Cult Film Trenches

The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982) Retrospective SUMMARY King Titus Cromwell and his men land ashore of Tomb Island in search of Xusia of Delos, a long-dead sorcerer who may be the key to overthrowing his rival King Richard, whose land of Ehdan is the richest in the world.

[bynewtscamander]

The Crimes of Grindelwald Review (Spoiler heavy!!)

Alright I’ll start off with a basic (post writing it: it is not basic whoops) plot synopsis for those of you nosy people who want to know what’s up before seeing the movie, or for those who can’t afford to go the movies, etc. 

So basically Grindelwald escapes from prison by enchanting Abernathy and switching places with him via polyjuice potion (?) that’s my assumption just cause a spell would probably be too much work given the circumstances. He heads off to Paris and kills a family and takes over their house. He’s there with some french woman who is basically his henchman, the bellatrix to his voldemort. Newt is in London as the British Ministry has forbidden him to travel outside the country. He’s there taking care of all his creatures in his house with the help of his assistant Bunty. Queenie and a love enchanted Jacob show up and talk with Newt. Newt lifts the spell on Jacob that Queenie put, and J&Q fight and Queenie heads off to Paris where Tina is stationed as an auror looking for Credence. Cut to Tina at the magic circus (located in the diagon alley of Paris) snooping about where we learn Credence is basically the circus janitor and is in love with human form Nagini. Shows happening, Nagini transforms, and behind the scenes Credence release a bunch of creatures to cause havoc so he and Nagini can escape. They dissaperate I think. The circus packs up and moves on to who knows where. Tina runs off to investigate stuff and runs into this other guy who’s also there looking for Credence. They have a talk at a street cafe. Jacob and Newt use a portkey to go to Paris and head to the Paris diagon. Newt uses a spell to see what happened there and they follow a feather to find the guy Tina was with so they can find Tina. They meet up with said guy outside of the street cafe and have a talk. Queenie is on her own and looking for Jacob. She gets discouraged and sits on a street corner sad and french bellatrix shows up and talks with her. Newt and Jacob find Tina and they all end up getting locked in a cell by the other auror guy. He passes out and Pickett picks the lock and they escape easy peasy. Newt was told by Dumbledore really early in the movie to go to a safe house in Paris so that’s where Newt and Jacob and Tina go and they bring the auror guy to help him. They get some info from his and Tina runs off and Jacob urges Newt to follow. Jacob watches the auror, who made an unbreakable vow, while he recovers from some magical parasite. He falls asleep and wakes up and finds out Nick Flamel lives there, and the auror guy makes a break for it. Nick shows Jacob a crystal ball and he sees Q and runs off to find her. In the meantime Q was talked into following Grindelwald so she and Jacob can get married in his new “utopian” society. Meanwhile Credence and Nagini are looking for his birth mother and Grindelwald is trying to recruit him. They don’t find her. The British Ministry is keeping close eyes on Dumbledore since they know he’s in major kahoots with Newt. Flashbacks to Leta and Newt at school. Small subplot is that some gossip magazine printed that Leta and Newt were now engaged but it’s actually Theseus and Leta. Back to the main plot, Newt and Tina break into the Paris Ministry to find records of the LeStrange family. Newt uses polyjuice to become Theseus. They get in and are looking for the records and have a moment in the record library. No kissing, just a moment. Leta comes in also looking for her records. They aren’t there. Leta, Tina, and Newt fight off some ministry guard cats and head off to where the records were moved. Now we’re at the LeStrange tomb where Grindelwald has summoned his followers. Auror guy is there and ends up running into Leta, Credence, Nagini, and possibly Newt and Tina (I can’t remember exactly). They explain the LeStrange background. Leta and auror guy are brother and sister. Ther mother was enchanted away from their father by another man. She falls “in love” with him and marries him and dies after giving birth to Leta who I can’t remember now if she was half-sister to auror guy or full sister. Guy who enchanted their mother remarries and have another kid. Non blood related to auror guy and possibly Leta if she was from og parents. Credence is their brother, sort of. When going to America, Leta and “C” were on a ship and “C” kept crying so she, as a child, switched him out with another baby to get some rest. Ship goes under and “C” dies being believed to be another womans baby. That womans baby survives and is apparently the Credence we know and love. So not related in anyway. Wack. Now the Grindelwald meeting has started and Jacob finds Q there and Tina is there to spy and everyone else joins in and Theseus and his aurors are there to keep an eye on stuff. Grindelwald makes his speech, calls out aurors he knows are there, they come forward and one (planted I believe) lashes out and kills a follower of Grindelwalds. More talking and then Grindelwald tells his followers to go. Most do but obvs Newt, Tina, Queenie, Jacob, Theseus, Leta, Grindelwald, french bellatrix, Credence, Nagini, and possibly Leta’s brother are still there. Grindelwald uses fire to weed out those not loyal. Queenie and Credence both join Grindelwald. Big fight with the fire and Leta sacrifices herself so everyone else can escape. They run into Nick Flamel and they do some more fighting of the fire to save Paris. They go to Hogwarts and Dumbledore gets cleared of suspicion and it is revealed that he and Grindelwald made a magical blood pact (basically an unbreakable vow) to never right each other. Ministry wants Dumbledore to fight cause he’s the only one who can match Grindelwald. Now cut to remote mountains in Austria where Grindelwald and Queenie are discussing Credence. Grindelwald talks to him and it is revealed that he is apparently the 4th Dumbledore sibling? And this bird he was taking care of is turned into Fawkes. I think that’s everything major. 

I definitely forgot stuff and I’m sure some stuff is wrong, I’m writing this 3ish hours after seeing the movie so it is still pretty fresh but I obviously cannot remember nearly 2.5 hours of content. 

Time for my thoughts and opinions and impressions. 

So Grindelwald’s escape. They mention something while he’s in the cell that they cut out his tongue. Later when we find out that Grindel was actually Abernathy he has like a forked tongue so idk if that’s what they meant by cutting it out?? Also I wasn’t a fan of the total demotation of Abernathy as GW henchman. Like I know he wasn’t very nice in the 1st movie but come on. Btw they were moving him from British prison to French cause he committed crimes both places. The French ambassador dude has like this whole moment where he’s fighting this creature and GW and then gets thrown from the flying carriage and almost dies on impact of the water. Then he’s just floating around and never mentioned again. 

I also wanted to know if the family GW killed to take over their house was muggle or not. minor thing. french bellatrix kills like a 2 year old baby they found in the house after killing his parents and I know they’re the bad guys but like it was kinda messed up. 

Newt’s house was dope and everything I expected it would be. His assistant, Bunty, has a crush on him, but he’s too invested in Tina and the animals to care. This is never addressed again. She is never mentioned again after this scene. So I thought it was dumb that her character was even involved and has the crush sub plot. Like either stick with it or make the assistant even more of a throw away character. 

So when Q shows up with J she’s like we’re getting married yay. A few minutes into their reunion with Newt he can tell something is up. He realizes that J is under a love enchantment and urges Q to lift it but she’s all like no no no. I just didn’t understand why she even enchanted him in the first place? Like yes he was against marrying her based on the fact that he didn’t want her to go to prison but like was it necessary to enchant him? idk it just felt stupid and childish and tbh Q is a more developed character than the ditzy blonde who wants to get married. I guess it more just rubbed me the wrong way. 

So J and Q have a fight  where J is like “I dont want to marry you cause I dont want you going jail” which is a totally legitimate reason and like I cant think that there would be any significant benefits to it, i think the big thing for them would be calling each other husband and wife but tbh they could do that anyway so i just thought it made Q seem like a resilient woman who only wants a man to call her own, which like I said earlier, she’s so not. She’s an accomplished legilimens and I feel like her character got a little side lined this movie. So anyway after this fight she heads off to find Tina in Paris.

So the magic circus was super dope, definitely an aspect of the wizarding world I was excited to see. I think they could’ve spent a little more time showing it off and all that cause it was more just a setting to introduce Nagini and what Credence had been up to since the last movie. 

The Nagini Credence romance didn’t really bother me, it’s kind of whatever and good for Credence for caring about someone and having someone care about him and stick by him.

Nagini herself is a whole nother ball game. I was mad dude. I still am. I think it’s one of the stupidest plot twists ever. Cause she’s basically from bloodline that is destined to turn into snakes forever and change every night and then at some point dont change back. It seemed kinda just thrown in there and for god’s sake we didn’t need some deep backstory for Nagini. I liked that she was just a snake cause it made sense for voldemort cause it’s like his closest companion isnt even human, that’s how crazy he is. So like I also dont know if he knew she was a person or what. it poses too many questions for the canon. She had a cool costume design though so i guess thats good. 

The other creatures at the circus were cool too cause it was neat to see a different side to animal keeping that we didnt in the first movie. All chained up for show and from all over the world. I really liked the big cat/dragon creature (im not looking up names rn so as not to break my stream of conciousness too much). Like im a big cat person and im a big dragon person so it was super cute and when newt used the toy for it i was like awwww. 

Side note, Newt when he’s shown at home taking care of his creatures jumps into the water without taking off his shirt and i was hoping this movie for a more indepth dealing with his scars but alas there was none.

I think I would’ve also liked to see more of paris diagon just cause all we get is the circus glimpse and the glimpse when newt and jacob go there and you dont get to really see any shops or stuff. 

The scene where newt uses the revelio spell thats all gold and uses the niffler was great, really liked that, i thought it was super pretty and showed they werent shoving aside the beasts despite it being a more wizard driven plot this time. 

After they meet up with auror guy and are thrown in jail with tina the auror guy passes out after making some little speech about how they were trapped. I dont even think he took their wands or if he did it wasnt shown or made note of. like a minute after theyve been trapped auror guy passes out. they super easily escape with Pickett picking the lock (my guess now is pick-it was the play for his name, well done, cute). So that plot point was barely a plot point.

When they all go to the safe house we find out that auror guy has some sort of water creature parasite in his eye. its gross and tentacally. newt removes it with literal normal tweezers. all it does is make auror guy need to rest for a few hours. once again, barely a plot point.  

Auror guy is also revealed to have the marks of an unbreakable vow, now, correct me if I’m wrong as I’ve only seen the movie once a couple days ago now, but i literally cannot recall what it was for? like idk why have a character make an unbreakable vow, something that was crazy important in book 6, and then make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal or like whatever it was wasn’t significant enough.

So anyway, he escapes while jacob is supposed to be watching him and falls asleep on the job. Then he meets Nick Flamel who I enjoyed being in the movie as it was a good nod to the 1st book. He was a funny character but also very powerful and important. I appreciated that he did look super old cause I think they could’ve easily tried to “sex him up” by making him this banging hot young immortal guy. They didn’t and honestly I prefer it that way. 

Now the crystal ball thing, was Nick Flamel a seer? Once again, may be wrong but I thought like only seers or people gifted with some form of the sight could use them? and like flamel was seeing and showing some intense visions that were very graphic and well formed so it didnt seem like he was a casual. Thats neither here nor there i just thought it was an interesting thing going on.

So now we’re with queenie who is being persuaded by GW to join him so she and jacob can get married. I mean that’s consistent with her character this movie but it does make her seem a bit weak willed. I feel like she should’ve known something was up by using her legilimency to try and poke around with gw or french bellatrix. Obvs they’ve probably trained with occlumency but i think lack of hearing those thoughts would’ve been a big red flag. maybe queenie was too emotional or distraught or whatever to think of it? Seemed like a bit of an oversight. Gahh i just wish they’d shown her resisting a bit more so she didnt seemed weak willed and we could also get a better look into just how convincing gw was. 

So Nagini and Credence have located where his birth mother lived in Paris but when they go there all they find is this half (elf? i think) woman who was Credence’s nanny basically. She basically reveals his mother is dead and credence is very distraught. The one of gw henchmen (who also works for the british ministry) sneaks into the house and kills the nanny in front of credence. Side note, i did like how they showed avada kedavra in a more casual setting because it shows how merciless gw was with it. I felt like with voldemort even though he was merciless and used it a lot, there was still this big dramatic focus on it. I think the casualness added to the morbid atmosphere being presented. 

So credence obvs goes all obscurial on the dude and blows up the house basically and is bombarding him with debris while he’s using a shield charm. The dude dissapperates in the end and credence goes back to being his normal self. And then I think later on at this house gw goes to him and talks him into joining him fully. 

So cut to hogwarts for dumbledore. He’s teaching defense and “dueling” some kid. This kid turns out to be an ancestor of cormac mclaggen which I thought was a nice little easter egg kind of thing cause the kid gets his ass handed to him by dumbledore. So in the middle of this lesson ministry officials show up and they’re like kiddos get out. then a woman only referred to as mcgonagall (since I know there’s been some discourse about that in reference to her birth date and age and whether it’s minerva or not. tbh i did always think mm was the sameish age as dumbledore but i also do believe in sticking with the harry potter canon as it’s more concrete and developed than the fantastic beasts) she herds them out so the ministry can talk. 

The robes for the 20s hogwarts students were dope btw and im so mad that they i guess went out of fashion cause like the subtle ribbon sleeves and the navy blue and red plaid skirts and the focus on sweaters was sick, really really liked that. 

So the ministry is like “so newts in paris and we know it was u” and dumbledore is like “whaaaat, who knew” and plays innocent and whatever. So then the ministry gives him unlinked cuffs that can track what spells he’s casting which i thought was an interesting concept and im wondering if that’s going to be used more for law enforcement and if it was more of an old fashioned thing and thats not used during hp era? i just thought they were cool and clever. 

So while this is going on Leta is poking around reminiscing about hogwarts and she was obvs a slytherin and was like jinxing kids and was very unpopular and she finds newt in this hidden nook while hiding from bullies. newt is taking care of some grindylows and a baby crow and some other creatures i couldn’t identify. 

They become friends and newt takes out on this island on the black lake and shows her this tree he likes and then we cut back to present day where Leta is looking at graffiti under a desk that says n+l so she had real feelings for him at some point that were probably not returned or newt was too naive to notice. fairly on brand tbh. 

Leta’s outfit for this is like a long sleeved loosish satin dress, maroon, with like a cape on that back and while i wish, for every movie tbh, that wizards always wore robes, I thought it was a nice little nod to them being magical and having different fashions. 

The gossip magazine subplot was actually so stupid and I wish they hadn’t included it because it makes Tina, who believed it, seem stupid and she’s not. She’s a well trusted auror now and there’s no way should would believe a stupid gossip magazine without doing proper research. 

I appreciated the little moment she and newt had upon clearing this up in the records hall. I would still have liked a kiss or something a little more considering everything but I’m not dying for one. 

Blah blah blah ministry fight, the familiars used to guard the ministry were cool and i did like their design, however, i am a big cat person so i can see if some people disagree. 

Gw uses this really sick method of conjuring like these huge, light, pieces of fabric that cover the buildings of paris in order to summon his followers. Im assuming they were invisible to muggles but this isn’t addressed however no one except the wizards bats at eye at them. 

So now we’re at the lestrange tomb which is big and fancy and all that. So now there’s the whole credence origin reveal/lestrange background. Auror guy shows up and is like you’re my sister and credence is our brother and i was just like hmmm because leta and auror guy are both black and credence is white so how does that work. 

The plot behind it is so complicated and weird holy heck. Basically auror guys parents fall in love and have him and are wealthy and all this stuff. Lestrange man falls in love with auror guys mother and imperios her to live with him and love him. Now i cant remember if leta was by both auror guys parents or if she was from lestrange and his mother. either way his mother dies giving birth to leta who is brought up, kinda, by lestrange. He remarries to another white woman and they have a baby who is in some way related to leta and auror guy. The baby’s name is corvus which idk, its weird. So eventually leta and corvus get sent to america with the half elf woman from earlier on this ship. Corvus doesn’t stop crying so leta sneaks out and temporarily (she intended) switches him with another womans baby. The ship begins to sink and thus they never get switched back and corvus officially goes down with the ship. Leta, fake corvus, and elf woman are on a lifeboat that tips and not corvus is see falling into the depths and either leta or the elf woman is seen swimming for him. It was super unclear to me whether or not they actually saved him because they must have if credence is there but like it was super unclear and im not sure. 

I also dont understand then how credence ended up being adopted and leta ends up back in britain and goes to hogwarts and all that jazz. maybe it will be cleared up in the next movie but that part of the plot gets all fuzzy and unexplained. 

I personally haaaaatttteeed this explanation. I may be reading into too deeply but it seems like they were just trying to make an excuse as to how the lestrange family went from a totally different race to another in like 50ish years (assuming bellatrix was born around the 60s). It also just felt like this crazy plot twist to be a crazy plot twist, nothing more. I also want to now go back and look at the black family tree and see how much info on the lestranges i can glean from that. I just think it would be interesting to see how much stuff has differed there. 

So now its the followers of gw meeting. There’s several hundred to a couple thousand wizards there and legit they all look like emos. gothic emos. it’s easy to pick queenie out in her multicolored plaid jacket. I just thought that was funny that the demographic for his followers was emo wizards. 

So blah blah blah speech about how the muggles are others but how gw doesn’t hate them or anything, something apologetic like that. lots of wwII imagery used to say like here’s what the muggles are gonna do if we dont take action. I think they were trying to push the hitler comparison here. Not a fan of that cause that “trope” or whatever needs to die. feels like we glorify hitler too much as the end all be all of evil in the world and history. that’s more of a personal thing for me, like the guy is gonna live forever in infamy and we as a society have pushed that and used it every which way. he needs to die out as a figure, especially with all the horrible stuff happening in the world today. 

So back to way less serious stuff, to show the wwII visions gw literally takes a fat rip off a skull bong that french bellatrix is holding and blows out the smoke which forms into the images. I started laughing out loud in the theater because of this and it majorly lowered the seriousness of the rest of the movie for me. 

So after all this gw knows theseus and the aurors are there and like calls em out to come down and like they cant actually do anything to the followers cause listening to someone speak is apparently not illegal even if the person speaking is like #1 escaped criminal of the wizarding world. 

And then basically out of nowhere one of the aurors kills a woman, a guy who i believe to be a plant, unsure if the woman was, but it def wasnt real. So gw goes over to her body and is like “look at how sad this is, followers, please leave this place and do stuff,” and they all disapparate. so now its gw, french bellatrix, queenie, jacob, newt, credence, nagini, tina, and theseus and his aurors. (now that im thinking about it i cant recall what became of auror guy)

Gw summons some blue flames in a circle around himself that only loyal followers can pass through. all the non-theseus aurors get consumed by the flames either by charging or gw manipulating it to engulf them. So then one by one gw starts trying to convince people to join him, in the end queenie joins him much to the dismay of jacob. unsure how i feel about this, it’s an interesting duality but god i wish it wasnt queenie again. and then much to naginis dismay credence joins. gw tries to get leta to join. she wont. he lashes out at everyone with the fire but leta holds it off and theseus is like “no ill do it, escape” and leta is like “im doing it and you need to go” they (newt and theseus) linger long enough for leta to be consumed but they manage to escape dramatically. 

Once outside the tomb in the graveyard they see flamel who is like “if we dont do something the whole city is gonna burn” so they all stick their wands into the ground and create a ring of fire to encase the evil blue flames and they work super hard at holding it off and they do and thats the big epic ending fight scene. it looked really cool but explaining it it seems kinda lame lol. 

So now that paris is saved they all go to hogwarts and are standing on the bridge and have newt alone go talk to dumbledore and he shows his this heart charm thing which has 2 drops of blood in the center. dumbledore explains that in their youth they made a magical blood pact (basically an unbreakable vow in a different form) to not fight each other. Newt is like well can you un do it cause you’re the only dude who can defeat him and dumbledore is like i’ll see what i can do. he also gets his magic tracking cuffs off. 

We get to see the mirror of erised again which was cool and i really liked seeing dumbledore stand in front of his for the first time as we all know the “sock” line about it from him. he sees gw, so no surprise there. more of a nice little easter egg moment more than anything.

Then we’re in austria in the mountains. Gw and queenie are talking about how credence is and how to get through to him and then gw walks in and starts talking to him. Gw explains that he is aurelius dumbledore. so wtf. I have big problems with this as dumbledores history is pretty clearly eplained and im pretty sure his parents werent around long after arianna so how did they have another kid? how did they lose him? is he older or younger than arianna? and if we go off the lestrange story wouldnt that make the woman who leta switched the babies on mrs. dumbledore? i also really hated this bit and i want to see how they clean it up in the next movie cause yiiiiikes is it bad. super unnecessary and kinda messed up and weird. 

After this gw gives credence his first wand and turns this little bird that credence had been looking after into fawkes (assumed from earlier movie context clues etc). Which is also confusing cause like uhhh can someone actually turn a bird into a phoenix? is that even possible? was the bird secretly a phoenix this whole time? and if so why was gw able to make it grow up so fast? weird shit there.

So anyway that was my long, rambly, opinionated, all over the place, too extra, very informal and grammatically atrocious review of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. Maybe things will come to me later and I’ll add on but this is what I’ve got floating around in my head 2 days post movie. 

It was by no means a bad movie, the cinematography was great, the acting was great, I loved the characters so much. The beasts were new and exciting. My biggest gripes lie with some of the plot points brought up. 

7/10 final score I guess.  

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife.  Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes:  GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?