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#actually I can whine on twitter too
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I sincerely cannot figure out if I want to write shinkami or shinoji for this particular AU and it’s killing me, I can’t write an outline until I decide which it is. I’m in so much pain.
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st4rbwrry · 2 months
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𝒞’𝑀𝐸𝑅𝐸, 𝐵𝑅𝒜𝒯.
aot headcannons + how they handle a brat ft. eren, armin, + onyankopon.
꒰ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 ꒱ ꔫ . . . fem!reader, lowercase intended, nsfw twitter links, aggressive sex, choking, rough play, spanking, dacryphilia, punishment, bondage, oral [f + m.], squirting, praise, all of them are kinda mean but with reason, teasing, pet names dnt feel like listing, minors aren’t allowed! reblogs + comments are appreciated! ♡
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EREN YEAGER
let’s just say eren likes to fuck you really hard when you piss him off. i’m talking putting you through the mattress. gotta make you feel his anger. the man will make you gag on his dick until your jaw aches, stating ‘since you like to run your fuckin’ mouth so much, make use of it’. he loves when your pretty lips glide along his dick, holding your head still as he hisses and groans, muttering ‘suck it, c’mon’ while he stuffs your throat with his heavy dick. when you use two hands to stroke him until he’s throwing his head back trying his best not to whimper. his moans get stuck in his throat when you suck him, eyes completely gone and his face shifting in pleasure. and for revenge for putting him in a position where he has to be mean to you in order for you to understand, he’d fuck you hard till you’re gushing all over him. licks his fat tongue up your neck as he moans in your ear and tells you ‘fuckin’ pretty, mama. takin’ that shit so good, girl.’ burying his dick deep into you it’s painfully good. he always loses his stress halfway through, kissing you like you mean the world to him, since you do. but, he’ll definitely make you beg for forgiveness, and beg to cum. ‘i can’t hear you, baby. say it. i wanna hear you. don’t go quiet now. you were talkin’ all that shit earlier so be a big girl and beg me to let you cum.’
ARMIN ARLERT
armin’s a tease at first. he likes to play with you before he fucks you really good, and i mean good. it’s enough for your legs to spasm and your pussy to squirt along his abdomen. he’s gentle when he starts, sucking on your neck, licking on your nipples as he rolls them under the pads of his thumbs. kissing your inner thighs and doing his best to avoid eating your pussy since you’re currently undeserving. your whines and trembles fuel him, and once he’s gotten a taste of you, slicking his thick tongue between your folds and releasing a guttural moan in your pussy, that’s when the demon comes to show. holding you down as you squirm and try to escape, using all of his upper body strength knowing you can’t fight him. armin will not hesitate to fuck you dumb. you’ve been a brat lately, knowing he hated when you sassed him. he’d always tell you ‘we’ll talk later’ and the talk is usually him fucking you straight. he likes to have you in every angle imaginable. loves to stare at your face as you scream his name, yank at the sheets, and even bite into his arm. he’ll grab your face and tell you to ‘watch me fuck you like the bad girl you are.’ kiss you sloppily as he drops his dick into you hard, every pound leaving you gasping for air. that blonde hair on his head covering his dangerous eyes, followed by weak whimpers and whines escaping his throat. ‘too pretty, love. keep suckin’ me deep. i can feel you cumming.’
ONYANKOPON
not the type to play games with you, at all. will cut any attitude you have extremely short. you seem to yap a lot, and he can live that. what he won’t deal with is a grown woman who throws temper tantrums like an adolescent. he’s usually understanding of most things, meaning he can sit you down and talk if needed. but some things just don’t get through that tiny skull of yours. now, now he has to push it into the bed to fuck some respect into you. he gets really deep to make you feel it all. won’t stop until you’re actually crying. he expects apologies, and they flow from your mouth airless. clearly, he won’t give up until he approves a real apology, not just one you spew just to let you cum. ‘told you stop talkin’ to me fuckin’ crazy. ima fuck the shit outta you’ he’ll groan, heat pooling in his stomach. he’s mad as fuck, and you feel the energy. struggling in the fabric he used to tie your wrists behind your back, whining into the pillow as he claps your ass back onto him. the rough baritone of his voice causing your head to spin. when his big hand wraps around your throat, he’ll pull your head to his chest as your back arches lower, swiveling his hips and fucking you quicker. ‘fuck yes, baby. tell daddy how sorry you are. right now.’ and you’ll tell him, because at this point you didn’t have a choice. his heavy hand lands numerous hits to your ass, biting his lip as you clench around his dick, drawing an orgasm from him sooner than yourself. then he’ll give your pussy some sloppy kisses after because he feels bad for making you so sore. <3
© 𝑠𝑡4𝑟𝑏𝑤𝑟𝑟𝑦 . all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life.♡
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cradle-quill · 2 months
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No Turning Back - An ABDL Story by CradleQuill
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Disclaimer: All content is fictional, consensual, and intended only for mature audiences. All characters depicted are adults aged 18+
Image Credit: @crinklecutie, used with permission _
You aren’t an adult anymore, not by any stretch of the imagination. I mean seriously, how can you even pretend you’re an adult while walking around with a full diaper sagging from your hips? If you’re going to behave like this, then I have no choice but to treat you like exactly what you are. A helpless little girl who can’t stop having accidents in her pants. Are they even accidents at this point if we expect them on the daily? When was the last time you actually made it to the potty like a big girl? Can you even remember?
You know what this means, don’t you? No more big girl privileges. That’s right. No more staying up late. From now on, you’ll have an early bedtime. No more changing yourself, either. Little girls who can’t even realize when they’re filling their diaper can’t be expected to put their diapers on by themselves, so I’ll just have to take care of it for you from now on. I don’t want to hear any whining. You should have thought about these consequences before you let yourself get to this point. Or did you think I’d never address these behaviors of yours? If you did, that was foolish.
Where were we? Ah yes, I was pointing out all the big girl privileges you don’t have anymore. No more big girl drinks, that’s a good one. Oh, I don’t want to hear any complaints. If you can’t sleep through the night without waking up with wet sheets, then you don’t need to be drinking alcohol. It would just make you even more incapable of controlling yourself. Unless that’s what you want? Is that it?
You don’t want to have to control anything anymore, do you? You don’t want to be in charge? You want someone to come along and take care of all your needs for you, even when it comes to monitoring your bathroom habits. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing when I say it out loud; you should be embarrassed. Grown women who behave like little girls, filling their pants and waiting for their caregivers to change them, they deserve to feel their cheeks burning when they have their childishness pointed out to them. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For someone to see you as you are, as you really are? Not the facade you put up, the one where you pretend to be a capable, independent woman qualified to take care of yourself.
No, you wanted someone to see you for who you really are. A petulant little child who needs to be put in her place. Well congratulations. I’ve seen you for who and what you are, and I’ll never be able to unsee it. This is how I’m going to treat you from now on. We both know you can’t stop having accidents and whining about it like a little girl, but even if you did stop, there’s no going back now. You can’t unring this bell, kiddo. I’ve seen through all those walls you put up, and I know what you really need. So go ahead, be a good girl for me, and tell me that this isn’t just what you need. Deep down, it’s what you really want too, isn’t it? Go ahead, admit it for me, and I’ll make all your silly little fantasies come true. _
Find CradleQuill on: Instagram | Subscribestar | Tumblr | Twitter
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mondaymelon · 6 months
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₊⊹ 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐩 ! ♡. | xiao, kaveh, gorou, lyney, wriothesley x gn!reader
⤷ art by @/grimruu on twitter... i added the boops :> .. fluff, established relationship. dw its an actual fic ( just trsut me )
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" boop ! "
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— 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎
he's startled, that's something certain. xiao's not used to random actions like this; shouldn't one move with purpose...?
blinking at you, his round eyes are more so filled with surprise than disdain. "what... what did you just-" yet... well, you've just tapped your finger to his nose, and now you're grinning like an idiot... truly, the hearts of mortals were something he'd never quite understand.
"it's fun!" yet again, you move forwards, and while xiao is expecting another "boop" from your finger, he's caught off guard when you give him a small kiss on the nose instead.
"boop."
xiao's voice is uncharacteristically faint, quiet. "ah..."
he hides his face behind a hand, trying to evade his clear embarrassment before it catches your eyes. "you're so... stupid."
... and you'd almost believe it, if it weren't for the evident flush dusted across the tips of his ears.
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" boop ! "
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— 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇
he's well into his third drink by the time you boop his nose, and it takes him another few seconds and a lethargic blink or two before he even registers the action.
when he does, a silly smile spreads across his face, his already drunkenly flushed cheeks warming further. "booop?" the word slurs together, and a slow finger moves to boop you on your nose as well.
too bad, it misses the mark, and he ends up poking your upper lip, frowning when he does so. "ah, oops... lemme try again..." this time, he manages to find your nose. a smugly proud smile appears on his features thanks to the success.
god, he was so pathetic. you loved him for it.
cupping his cheek, you sneakily lean forward and press a kiss to his nose. his skin is warm to the touch. "boop." before he can strike back, you hit him with a double combo, this time kissing him on the lips.
"whuh.. no fair," his eyebrows furrow as he pouts childishly. "i wan..na... too..."
he falls asleep before he can finish his sentence, slumping onto the table and conking out immediately. as expected. you tuck his messy hair behind his ear with a fond smile. he'd have a hell of a headache in the morning. ah, but... tolerating his whines would be worth it — you'd gotten to kiss him, after all.
... his lips tasted like wine.
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" boop ! "
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— 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐔
he jolts like he's been shocked, and you have to suppress a laugh at the sight. "e-eh, what was-?" one of his ears twitches subconsciously, and you can tell he's trying to maintain eye contact to the best of his abilities. hey, it wasn't everyday your lover swung by camp just to tap you on the nose... were you teasing him??
"it's a boop." you state it, matter-of-fact, and gorou only grows more helplessly confused. "boop." just like that, you poke him again. his eyes widen in realization (though he's far off the mark). agh, could it be that more rumors had spread of his "good luck", except this time, instead of rubbing his ears for good fortune, it's tapping his nose instead..?
you watch his eyes swirl with perplexion — really, what was the point in watching those highly-acclaimed entertainment films from fontaine when an entire life's worth of entertainment was right in front of you? "c'mon, don't tell me you've fallen for it too?"
...what was he even talking about? no matter, it was cute seeing him panic (though he'd disagree). you smile at him cheekily, "fallen? why, gorou, the only thing i've fallen for is you ~"
silence.
then the sound of someone choking. gorou upright sputters, his face hopelessly red, before springing forward and getting his revenge; that is, kissing you on the tip of your nose, too embarrassed to keep his eyes open while doing so.
"ugh, you're such a tease..."
... how could you not be, when he was so adorable?
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" boop ! "
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— 𝐋𝐘𝐍𝐄𝐘
he smiles, his eyes twinkling as they become upturned crescents. "oh? a tap to the nose..." he seems oddly delighted in the action, and perks up not long after, with a strange, mischievous shine in his eyes.
he shuffles through his signature deck of cards with a grin. "love, why don't you pick a card? any card from the deck, whichever one you want~"
you eye him suspiciously.
he has the demeanor of a cunning cat, one that if you turn your gaze away from for a mere second, is sure to cause trouble. well... he was your lover, so you should have some faith in him. drawing a card from the ones he's presented in his hands, you receive the two of hearts.
before you can even properly glance up from your cards, you're met with a faceful of brilliant red roses, each delicate petal perfectly curving in place and green, glistening leaves healthy and lush. lyney's the one behind it all, a smug smile on his lips, and before you can even open your mouth to speak, he leaps forward and swiftly kisses your nose.
"boop."
and he sticks his tongue out, smoothly tucking a rose (without thorns, mind you) into your hair.
hell, he was so smooth. your brain wasn't even able to register half his actions until half a minute after, and when you did, your face burned.
"haha~ what's wrong, love?"
... this guy was seriously dangerous for your heart.
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" boop ! "
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— 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘
he stares you dead in the eyes, in a sort of, "did you really just do that?" kind of way. it's not that he's disappointed, per say, but more so shocked; even siegewinnie wouldn't dare do such a thing like pokingg the duke's nose, (on second thought, maybe she would)... either way, he sits there in a sort of shell-shocked manner, the cup of tea he had begun to lift to his lips long forgotten. "you..."
"boop." you say it like it's all the explanation he needs. in case he doesn't understand, you'll be so generous as to say it a second time, nodding your head for extra confirmation. "boop."
he lets out a lighthearted sigh, one that makes it easy to tell he's on the edge of releasing a chuckle. crossing his arms over his desk and leaning over it, he grabs your chin with his fingers, gently lifting it to raise your gaze to his level.
"boop." this time, he's the one booping you, and he seems all too amused about it, a sly smile on his lips as he does it moves to do it once more. "boop."
hey, was he copying you-? the thought isn't able to completely form before your brain utterly short circuits; the reason? none other than the duke of the fortress of meropide kissing your nose, of course.
wriothesley's enjoying this way too much... yet he seems so utterly unaffected when he pulls away, settling back into his chair and taking a serene sip of his tea, like he hadn't just committed several war crimes against your heart.
... fuck, if it skipped too many beats, would you die??
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(a/n) happy boop- i mean april fools dayyy !! mwah mwah watch me pull some "im quitting" shii next year :>
𝐭 𝐚 𝐠 𝐥 𝐢 𝐬 𝐭 : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader,@fiannee, @aether-darling, @ceneid, @avensuersa, @dainsleif-when-playable, @solxima, @sangoqueenkoko, @haliyamori ...
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jennifer-jeong · 2 months
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Smut | Sylus x AFAB!Reader First Impressions
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SUMMARY Your first impressions of Sylus and how they translate into the more… intimate parts of your relationship.
CONTENT NSFW, smut, hard kinks, BDSM themes, size kink, impact play, spanking, vaginal penetration, doggy, missionary, choking, clit play, creampie, m and f orgasm, I WANT HIS STYLUS 😼, he’s secretly very in love with you idk, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+
AUTHOUR NOTE I literally haven’t even downloaded the update yet because my phone has no storage LMFAOO so this is literally just my first impressions of him based off my Tumblr and Twitter timelines and the posts I’ve seen about him.
WORD COUNT: 789
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Sylus wasn’t a man that understood restraint. While he understood how he would go about holding himself back, he always decided on disregarding it, especially when it came to you.
The man was the definition of domineering and he was always absolutely determined to wreck you.
Sadism was almost too light a word to describe him with how much he enjoyed drinking up your fear and uncertainty. You knew he was stronger and he always left you unsure of what he’d do next or if it was going to hurt.
When he tries to bully his thick member into you for the first time, he can’t help but let the way you whine “ah! H-hurts” make him twitch at the entrance of you.
Despite your protests, time and time again your body betrays you, showing him how bad you want him by gushing all over him. Helping him slide into you as he stretches you to his size. Your body genuinely couldn’t take his size before but it’s actually gotten easier overtime as if you were genuinely being molded by him. The thought of it made you dizzy.
He absolutely loves fucking you in doggy and spanking you until your skin burns, turning bright red. While you weren’t one to shy away from the dull stinging, he always took it a few slaps too far. He knew when it would actually start to hurt for you and when the skin would get too sensitive, and he’d push you past that point with 3 harsh slaps before rubbing his hands over the area to soothe you.
When he fucks you in missionary though, he’s a whole other monster. In this angle he can barely bottom out in you so he’s genuinely bruising your cervix with every rough thrust.
Of course he checks on you after and gives you good aftercare, but in the heat of the moment, he most definitely bullies you. He slaps at your pretty tits, pinching your nipples and pulling up before letting them recoil as you yelp at the pain.
When he chokes you he does it with his left hand so his right hand can slap at your pretty tear stained face while he whispers the nastiest things to you while holding intoxicating eye contact.
“Such a fucking slut hm?” slap “y’like it when I slap you don’t you,” slap “so fucking filthy” he says with a chuckle “just for me” he adds as he kisses you.
When both of you start to reach your highs, he’s definitely squeezing your neck harder. He presses expertly on your arteries to reduce the blood flow to your brain, starving it of oxygen. It makes your eyes roll back and tongue loll out ever so slightly.
He does it because he knows it fucks with your senses. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears as the wet sounds of skin slapping fade out. Your vision gets hazy and spotty, and Sylus’s favorite part: your pussy gets slightly less sensitive. Your brain can’t register all the signals while it’s fighting to keep you conscious. He does it often to deny you your orgasm.
But he also does it so he can catch up to you, it’ll take a while for him to admit it but he absolutely adores finishing with you. Loves feeling your walls milk him in waves as your body racks with shivers. He also loves hearing your voice and how shameless your moans become when you become undone.
So when he’s close, he fully lets go of your neck and instead sits up to ram straight into your g spot and thumb at your neglected clit.
As you feel blood flow into your brain, you also feel the intensity of your pleasure ramp up over the course of 2 seconds before it crashes down on you and you cum so fucking hard each time he does this.
He loves the way your back arches and how your hands grip the sheets for dear life as you cum. You also have a habit of squeezing your eyes shut when it hits you and he finds it kinda cute. But in the moment, he’s usually too far gone to be thinking about if you’re cute or not. You squeeze him so sinfully when you cum and you gush with arousal, making it feel absolutely amazing for him as he stuffs you with his own release.
When he cums it’s also one of the only times you’ll hear him actually moan. He’ll let out grunts and quiet moans but when he finishes in your gummy walls he can’t help but let you know how good you feel. It’s his way of saying “I love you” as he collapses onto you, holding you and breathing into your ear.
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|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||
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ventismacchiato · 6 months
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RAFAYEL HEADCANONS
canon complaint, established relationship
sorry guys, can u tell i have a favorite
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matching everything. phone charms. earrings. nails. socks. you name it, he’ll buy everything in two.
begs you every other day to get a matching tattoo with him. he’s even drawn up multiple designs for you to choose from and will keep asking you until you eventually agree, how could you refuse?
hates cats, says he’s allergic (he’s not) but will run out the room when your cat walks in when he’s staying over. one time you asked him to feed it when you were away on a mission and you watched through your cat cam as it took him fifteen minutes to get the bravery to even get five feet near your cat.
so very chronically online. he’s a certified yapper. you’re his only follower on his private twitter and best believe he’s posting every single thought he has, and he expects you to reply to every single one. also asks you to match profile photos, but he has commitment issues so you guys change them almost every week.
you usually wake up to at least one voice note from him, minimum of five minutes long. you got used to playing them as podcasts as you got ready for work.
honestly he already probably gets his nails done, but will let you do them for him. more so force you, he’s lazy. but if you like to have yours done he would be able to do the prettiest designs for you.
aquarium dates are his favorite, no need to get a guide because rafayel will talk your ear off the moment you’re inside.
boy who cried wolf. fakes being sick for your attention so much so that you don’t even believe him when he actually is. not until thomas tells you that rafa has been whining about missing you in bed.
clearly has abandonment issues and gets upset when you don’t let him know where you are or if you’re okay. he’ll show up at your apartment the few times you pass out from a mission and forget to reply, ready to be mad at you. but the moment he sees your wounds and tired eye bags he loses any ounce of anger he once had.
love language is quality time, doesn’t matter what you’re doing as long as it’s together. he’s the type to tag along when you need to go grocery shopping or pick up something. he just likes to be beside you.
he is a brat, so he’ll laugh as he watches you struggle to carry all the groceries back inside. but it’ll only last a few seconds before he scoops them from you. if you guys go to a carnival together his immediate thought is to win every prize there. it’s only when he’s sucked the poor booths dry is when you have to tug him away.
claw machine dates are weekly and mandatory, but if you think you’re getting a turn think again. he gets too into it and forgets to share. you’ve come to learn you just need to pry him away from it
always follows the sidewalk rule but in return will make a big deal out of you opening doors for him since you’re his bodyguard. he’s the girlfriend in the relationship fr
that’s not the entire time though, when it’s just you two and he’s all worn out from being annoying all day his tone will go softer and his gaze warmer. he loves you he really does he just showcases it weirdly
constantly asking, morelike begging, you to stay the night. even if you have work the next day he says he needs you to fall asleep. it’s happened so many times you eventually brought one of your uniforms over and some clothes so you could spend the night and still go to work. it’s hard not to give in to him.
loves pda. if it was up to him he’d have his hands on you constantly. will get sulky if you don’t hold his hand when you go out.
much like xavier i don’t think he would enjoy working out. but if you need to go to the gym to train he’ll sit on a yoga ball beside your treadmill and talk your ear off. he’ll spot you on the machines but won’t go near anything. he will offer to sit on your back as you do push-ups though. you decline.
nsfw
probably a switch but after seeing his tipsy invitation and ebb and flow scenes he’s giving he prefers to be on the bottom. probably bratty at the beginning but according to the cards he gives in pretty easily, letting mc tie him up and referring to you as master likeeee. i feel like he just wants you to enjoy it more than he wants to enjoy it. gets off at seeing you get off type of deal.
he’s giving pillow princess vibes but if you ask he’ll give you the same treatment but tease you the entire time tbh he’s sooo bratty but i can’t see him being a hard mean dom. like he’ll give into you but make you work for it. edging kink all the way
“hmm, should i stop? i can’t let you finish this quick.”
“wow i didn’t know you were so sensitive here.”
“i haven’t even used my fingers yet and you’re already this wet.”
100% down to try any sex toy can you imagine him buying some sort of tentacle dildo as a joke cus he’s a mermaid but then you end up actually using it on him one night
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sorrowfulrosebud · 10 months
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Thinking about the progression of Katsuki letting you pet his hair (he’s also deaf in this bc I said so). Also season 6 spoilers lol
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The first time you do it is during the designated movie night Class 1-A had every month during the weekend. Soft fleeces, pillows and sleeping bags litter the common room floor as everyone nestled in to start the movies. It was sacred tradition; a huge marathon of previously voted movies streamed one after another until everyone was asleep, or if the marathon ends early.
(Aizawa couldn’t be bothered to lecture the class anymore; as long as caramel popcorn didn’t get stuck in the rugs of the common room, you could all stay up for a solid week for all he cared).
You and the Bakusquad were lucky to snag one of the bigger couches, comfortable sitting you, Mina, Kirishima and Sero. Denki whined and pouted at first, before grinning at the realisation that he would be sat between your legs.
You and Mina both rolled your eyes, knowing that for all Denki was a hormonal teenage boy, he was harmless. Kirishima had even convinced Bakugou to join you somehow (under the promise that he wouldn’t bother him again).
“Tch, ain’t no way in hell you’re sittin’ there, sparky. Move your ass ya fuckin’ pervert,” he demanded, pulling Denki out of his euphoria. Denki whined, mumbling about how it was so unfair.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, before setting himself down. He would way rather have sat on the actual couch itself, but his head was pounding from training today and he could not be bothered to argue. You shimmied slightly closer to the arm of the couch so he would have more head room, which didn’t go unnoticed.
The lights in the room dimmed, snacks were distributed and drinks were poured. The dramatic sting of the opening credits filled the room as you and Mina giggled in excitement.
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Katsuki’s head was absolutely killing him. The shitty combination of his classmates twittering, stupid jokes and shitty jumpscares made the pain in his head borderline unbearable. He was just about to get up and go when he felt a hand softly nestle into his fluffy locks.
Out of instinct, his warm palms wrapped tightly around the perpetrator’s, earning him a squeak. His head snapped in the general direction, only to be met with your widened eyes.
“Sorry Bakugou. There was a spider in your hair,” you whispered in his ear, showing him the tiny arachnid that was creeping along your hand. Katsuki rolled his eyes and released your hand.
“Whatever, just don’t touch me again, you weirdo,” he grumbled. He rested his head against the space between your and Mina’s legs and continued to watch the movie.
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The next movie day was quite similar. You all arranged yourselves in a similar way, with you and Mina sat on the couch and Bakugou nestled between the two of you.
His head was absolutely pounding after training, but he owed Kirishima and he’d rather die than be indebted to him. The movie played as he rested his head on the plush couch, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. His hearing aids had been a total pain in his ass, and hearing was just too much for him.
He took them out, snapping them away in his case as he squints at the screen and lip-reads. You took notice immediately, gently tapping his shoulder and signing to him if he was okay. He blinked at you before huffing.
Yeah, I’m fine. Head hurts is all, and having a hearing break, he signed. You let out a silent “ohhh”. You thought for a minute before signing again.
I can give you a head massage if you like? My quirk allows me to heal through touching.
Katsuki’s eyes shot open before grunting and looking away. You took that as a no, before he nudged your shoulder.
Discretely. Do not let ANYONE see or I’ll kill you, he signed aggressively. You smiled as you started at the base of his scalp, your quirk heating up ever so slightly as you gently twirled his baby hairs.
Katsuki let out a slow breath as his migraine started to lift, and if he focused for a second; the ringing in his ears started to quiet. Your hands worked magic into his scalp, softly scrunching the dandelion fluff. Shivers ran down his spine as you thumbed the sensitive skin near his ears.
It took 20 minutes for him to feel completely rejuvenated, taking your hand off his head with a blushy grunt.
Thanks, or whatever, he signed, looking away. You gave him a small smile, ruffling his hair as he swatted you.
No problem, blasty.
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“Where the fuck is he?! TELL ME WHERE HE IS, RIGHT NOW!” You demanded, the poor doctor hiding behind their clipboard as she waits for you to calm down.
“He’s right in here, but please be careful with him. He’s stable, but any… intense… emotions can throw that right out of whack,” she said calmly, opening the door and closing it behind you.
Katsuki was laid in bed, propped up by pillows as an oxygen mask aided his laboured breathing. His beautiful face was scratched to hell and back, and his upper torso was covered in bloodied bandages.
You let out a stifled sob, hands covering your mouth upon seeing your classmate. The two of you had grown closer during the movie nights; your hands would end up tangled in his hair as he slumped against you sleepily, slow but hot breaths against your leg.
You would kill Shigaraki for doing this, if it was the last thing you would do. Your head rested against the bed rails as you cried, not knowing if your crush would ever wake up.
“H-handsy? Wh’ the mphuck happened?” Katsuki murmured out. Red eyes cracked open slightly as he focused on you, before they shot open completely.
“Deku!” He exclaimed, trying to rip the oxygen mask off and trying to race to his feet. You exclaimed loudly, trying to get him to calm down. You ended up sitting on him, pressing his shoulders back into the bed as you looked at each other wildly.
“Y-you’re alive…” you let out a slow sob as you lowered your head. Katsuki stared at you, before his calloused hands caressed your cheeks. Your eyes shot open, hot tears streaming down your cheeks.
It was like he was seeing you clearly for the first time in ages, all worries slowly melting away as your hands bunched into his scrubs. You let go of his clothes as you started to shakily sign.
Shigaraki impaled you after you pushed Deku away. He’s totally fine, a bit roughed up but he’s being treated in another room. Your organs were pierced, and you’re gonna be sore for a while but you’ll get better soon, you sign. Katsuki nodded, still tracing your cheeks.
He let go of you as he signed back.
Are you okay? Did Shigaraki get you? You were there with us, and I blacked out before I could find you.
You shook your head.
No, I’m fine. I had a concussion and a busted leg, but Recovery Girl fixed me up almost right away. Does your head hurt? How do you feel?
Katsuki thought for a second.
My head hurts a little, and my gut hurts like fuck. Shigaraki fucking ripped my hearing aid out too so my ears are ringing.
You paused as you looked at him. You got off him quickly, signing to him that you were going to find a nurse, stopping when you felt him grasp your wrist.
Can you interpret for me? I’m a bit out of it and my head hurts too much for me to lip-read, he signed, looking… worried?
You smiled to him and nodded, promising that you wouldn’t leave him.
Nurses came and went as you signed to him what they were saying, as well as explaining how they were going to monitor him. He, of course, demanded you tell them that he’s fine to go home. You shook your head, smiling slightly as you tell them that he isn’t the biggest fan of hospitals, making him flip the bird at you.
The doctors gave him some antibiotics as he laid grumpily in bed, waiting for them to kick in. They left, reminding you of visiting times and when you would have to leave. You thanked them on behalf of you both, bowing before looking back to your crush.
He was sat pouting, tugging on the wires and tubes gently. Since he was more lucid, his usual moody temperament was back. You sat on the foot of the bed, tugging the blanket to get his attention.
Are you tired? I can leave you alone if you want. I know the others are probably going to demand to see you soon too, so you might want to rest up, you signed. Katsuki tutted, before a thought crossed his mind.
No, I’m not tired. Those extras can wait too. My head hurts still, so get over here and use your quirk, he signed aggressively, a stark contrast to the pink creeping up on his cheeks.
Oh, I’ll call the nurse- you start signing before Katsuki lets out an aggravated grunt.
No, dumbass. My HEAD HURTS, come USE YOUR QUIRK, he made his hand movements larger to emphasise. You stop, letting out an ohhhhh.
A cheeky grin swamped your face as your cheeks warmed. Katsuki huffed and looked away, calloused fingers playing with the hospital sheets. You shyly made your way next to him, him shifting away to give you room.
Are you comfortable? You sign. Katsuki nods, wrapping his arm gingerly around your waist. Your arms snaked around his shoulders, pushing his head into your neck. Gentle hands pulled debris out of his fluffy locks, content in hearing Katsuki’s relieved huffs of breath.
“…ne.”
“Did… did you say something, Bakugou?” You turn to look at him. His cheeks were splashed a delicate rosy pink.
“Be mine, damnit!” His voice was gruff with disuse as he peers into your eyes. Your own orbs couldn’t help the leaks, reaching down and pressing your lips to his.
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The next movie night rolled around, Katsuki was proud to show you off as his partner. PDA was a tricky concept for him, after almost being scared off when his parents found you both asleep and cuddled tightly together well after visiting hours.
He had no qualms shouting praises to you during training, or threatening the life of creepy guys who can’t stop staring. So his favourite time where he can absorb your love in public lies in the tradition of movie nights.
Katsuki had his hearing aids out again, simply opting to sit in silence. He was sat between your legs, head resting against your tummy as he was occasionally shifted by your quiet laughs. He paid no mind though; so calm and quiet that he was ready to fall asleep.
Then your magic hands came out. You knew all of his sweet spots; the delicate scarring near the tips of his ears, the wispy baby hairs near the bottom of his neck, and the sensitive spot in the crown of his scalp always sent a shiver down his spine. He reminded you of a kitten, and when he lets out the occasional sigh, you imagine he’s purring instead.
With the soft kisses pressed against your thighs, just the two of you together and your hand in his hair,
he’s never felt more loved.
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Anti's, Twitter Freaks, and Tumblr crazies seem to have this weird itch where they believe any women under 5'6" is "a literal child". And this shit has annoyed me for forever now. What's more this conversation always comes up in regards to Loli in anime and tall men with short women IRL. So here's a poll. And then more context.
Long story short, or rather as short as I can get it. I'm getting sick and tired of the idea that age somehow doesn't matter but, physical appearance of age does somehow matter instead. Especially when it comes with the context of anime. And even then more so I get frustrated at the fact that I have to talk with anyone about what is appropriate and not appropriate IRL.
The fact of the matter is and will remain that just because a girl looks like an adult does not in any way imply that it is okay to sleep with her unless you are also underage. (And I only make that caveat, because I know I can't stop young people from screwing around with one another.) But, when I see people whining about anime specifically I often end up with people who are fans of Ryoko from Kill La Kill or Kitagawa from My Dress Up Darling. Both of whom are minors. And if you like that, then you do you. Because I understand that with anime as an aesthetic they do have a tendency to look older or younger depending on how the people writing the story wanted them to come out.
However, a lot of people have a frustrating little quirk where if it looks like a character is too short, to flat chested, or has no back-end or thighs to speak of, they assess that that character is supposed to either be or look like a child (Ignoring they treat REAL women like this). Which also ignores this fun issue:
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Because let's talk age of consent shall we. Sure, it's not universal across every country but it's pretty close among first world ones. But people make a big deal of characters that short with no bust, seek out people that like that character, and will literally treat that person as if they've harmed kids IRL. Yet are seemingly NEVER angry over the abuse of real kids. What's more they will claim something is pedophilia online, THEN SHARE IT saying something like "OMFG LOOK AT THIS EPSTEIN TIER ABUSER!", and I'm sitting here like, "I don't care how old you are if you're an adult you need to be punched in the throat and if your a minor, you and your parents need to be punches in the throat". (My reasoning here is simple. If you think something is CP why would you then share it to more people rather than just report it)
Epstein abused and trafficked MANY young girls and possibly young boys to a lesser extent. A person that likes this goblin?
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Isn't even close to Epstein. Because:
This is a drawing
This drawing is humanoid but doesn't look like an actual human
This character is probably older than you are
This character is a dragon
This character is FICTIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My point for asking ladies heights is because I'm really sick of people more or less going, "as long as you look old enough it's fine" while not realizing they literally just made the argument that age is just a number and so long as you look of age you should be allowed to be sexually abused.
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Imagine inconveniencing Sir Crocodile with your fucked up sleep schedule
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Early morning
Crocodile: [finds you in the kitchen procuring a beverage for yourself] I'm surprised you're up so early.
You: I haven't gone to bed yet, but I'm just about to head off. Night. [starts the trek -+
Crocodile: [follows you] It's six in the morning, just stay up and go to bed at a normal time tonight.
You: mmm, no, I'm sleepy, and I get nauseous when I stay awake for too long.
Crocodile: I need you to help to review all the accounts, if I did it by myself I'd take two days.
You: [enters your room and gets into bed] Do what you can, I'll come to help you around noon when I wake up.
Crocodile: That's not long enough, you need eight hours to be at the top of your game.
You: since you insist, then I shall see you around midafternoon.
Crocodile: seriously, you need to fix your shitty sleeping habits.
You: [cocoons yourself in your blankets and nuzzles your pillow to get comfortable] I'm gonna do a wrap-around.
Crocodile: [cocks an eyebrow at you] the fuck does that mean?
You: I'm going to sleep later and later, and eventually it'll be normal.
Crocodile: you're a ridiculous creature if you genuinely believe that will work.
You: I meant it as a joke, I'm actually going to bed earlier than usual.
Crocodile: this is early for you? [sits on the edge of your bed]
You: I usually go to bed around eight in the morning.
Crocodile: You need more structure in your life from an outside source... [reaches over and strokes your hair] I've clearly been too lenient with you, so starting tomorrow, you must be in my office and ready to work by noon. You also have to wear people clothes, no pajamas or sports wear. I'll gradually have you come in earlier and earlier until you have some semblance of a normal sleep schedule.
You: [whines].... fine, now shoo, I need to sleep, also I'll be billing you for the clothing I have to buy because I don't own many 'people clothes' as you put it.
Crocodile: [rolls his eyes, and ruffles your hair] Try to keep it under fifty thousand berry, please. I'm not made of money.
You: no, you're made of sand, which you're getting in my bed.
Crocodile: [snorts, and flicks some sand at you] Sleep well, brat.
You: thank you, I will.
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List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon
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lemoniiiiiii · 1 month
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copy room firsts
(luke cooper x reader)
content: just fluff, kissing, luke being a cutie
--
your fingers drum playfully on the photocopy machine as you wait for the stack of papers phyllis had asked you to pick up. the old machine chugs along at its usual snail’s pace, the loud hum almost deafening in the cramped room. ever since luke had tried to print the entire script of snatch fifty times, the thing had been slower than ever.
the light beneath the copier slides across the paper—up, then back—its repetitive motion the only visual stimulation available in the otherwise bland room. someone really should put up a bulletin board or something to look at. you try not to think too hard about the monotony of office life, focusing instead on waiting for the machine to finish when suddenly, the fine hairs on the back of your neck stand up. there’s no sound, no creak of the door, but you can feel it—someone’s behind you.
“whatcha doing?” luke breathes in your ear, his voice so close you flinch involuntarily.
you spin around, startled, but luke's already backed away, his trademark grin plastered on his face as if he's enjoying every second of your discomfort. he leans back in, his breath warm against your skin, sending an involuntary chill down your spine.
“i’m making copies for phyllis”
“making copies...” luke echoes, a playful cadence in his voice. he reaches down and grabs a stack of freshly printed papers. “let’s see here…”
“you’re not supposed to be in here" you remind him, although you didn't really care. luke was a bother to most of the office but you actually enjoyed his company.
“it’s fine,” he waves you off, unfazed. “you’re just... teaching me how to properly use this thing.”
“am i now?”
“uh huh. what’s the first button i press?” luke grins, reaching for the copier with that mischievous gleam in his eyes.
“don’t touch it,” you swat his hand away before he can cause more trouble.
“ouch?” he whines, though the smirk on his face suggests he’s far from wounded.
finally, the copier spits out the last of the papers. you turn your back on luke and start organizing them, hoping he’ll go back to his desk if you ignore him long enough. it's only a matter of time before someone realizes he's missing and you don't want to get in trouble. plus luke's already on everyone's nerves, you don't want your only friend to get fired.
“creed follows me on twitter,” luke suddenly announces with that nonchalant attitude of his, now leaning against the wall.
you glance up, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief before letting out a chuckle. “honestly, that makes sense. you two are equally…” your voice trails off as you lose yourself in the task at hand, stacking the papers with precision.
luke, of course, isn’t satisfied with that. “equally what?”
“hm?” you blink, snapping out of your concentration. “oh, it’s nothing. i don’t even remember what i was gonna say.”
“hm.. what are you doing now?” luke presses, stepping off the wall and moving closer, curiosity shining in his dark eyes.
“i’m organizing these papers for phyllis”
luke hovers close behind you, his presence unmistakable. he leans in, his head tilting just enough so that when you glance over your shoulder, you’re met with his gaze, his face only inches from yours.
"phyllis this, phyllis that.. you're like her little servant" he teases, his tone low.
you hold eye contact for a moment, tension hanging in the air between you like an unspoken challenge while you watch his pupils search your face. his eyes seem softer now in the artificial light, and something stirs inside you. before you can second-guess it, you close the space between you, melding your lips to his.
it's a bit of an awkward kiss, your noses bump and luke doesn't seem like he knows what to do with his mouth, but you don't mind. there’s something sweet about the clumsiness, especially considering luke's usual aloofness. you pull away after a few seconds, a satisfied warmth spreading through you
luke looks anywhere but at you, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “uh, cool. uh…” he’s flustered—an unusual sight for him.
"was that your...?"
"first?... yeah"
“sorry,” you say softly, guilt creeping in. you kinda wish you had known before you went in for it, a dingy photocopy room is probably not the place most people want to have their first kiss.
“no, it’s—don’t worry about it,” luke stammers, still looking slightly dazed. “i liked it.”
you both fall into an awkward silence, the only sound the steady hum of the overhead lights.
“i have to take these copies back to... phyllis...” you finally say, breaking the tension as you gather the papers in your arms.
“right, yeah,” luke mumbles, stepping aside as you move toward the door. “go do that.”
just before you leave, you pause and turn to him. “what are you doing after work?”
luke's eyes meet yours again, the hint of a smile on his face. “i don’t know… depends. what are you doing?”
--
tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @heartz4peter
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xcalkenf · 6 months
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౨ৎ — PRETTY BOY ! [ switch!choso x reader]
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౨ৎ — warnings . 18+ / smut (obviously) / soft-dom ish f reader / switch choso! / bondage (shibari) / choso with pink ribbons around his biceps <3 / overstimulation / choso crying / anal plug / cock rubbing & edging / cum eating / p in v / riding / cockwarming / aftercare / reassurance / praises / safeword was made between two !
౨ৎ — note . okay, this was written in my notes from 2 until 3 am (actually being serious) inspired by a Twitter vid I watched >< it was sooo good !! also, y’all can’t change my mind on switch!choso. He’s both, the thought of him being only a sub/top is just not.. satisfying enough 😓🤭
౨ৎ — wc . 1.3k
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౨ৎ
“D-do I really have to be like this..?” Choso mumbled, face flushed -feeling embarrassed to see his nude body resting on top of the bed with pillows supporting his back. His hands were bound on his back, thighs spread, chest wrapped by ropes, and his biceps wrapped by adorable pink ribbons.
“Mhm.. you want to be a good boy, right, Choso?” You kissed your boyfriend’s mark on his nose, when you mentioned his name, his entire body shivered, well jus’ a little, and he nodded, "Yes, mommy."
As you were ready to insert a plug into him, he stopped you, “Wait! w-will that h-hurt?..” he asked.
“It's hard to say for sure, but moving around might hurt a little, but you'll get used to it, I promise.” You say, and Choso swallowed hard as he pictured what pain he was going to experience in his hole. As he felt the glass heart-shaped plug go into his hole, his sculpted thighs began to expand.
"Wait, that hurts.. Go gently", He became anxious, but when you insert it more slowly, allowing him to adjust, he soon calms down.
When you glance at his lower abdomen, you can see that he's panting heavily and that he's breathing and sighing heavily.
“Don’t worry, I won’t go hard on you, pretty boy”
"You're doing so good for me, cho~" As you slowly turned the plug around, without moving too quickly or roughly, you purred.
Choso blushed heavily, feeling the strange object inside him as well as embarrassment. With a nervous look away, he muttered, "It feels weird, baby.." He could feel the burning sensation building up in his cheeks. "Do you want me to stop? Remember the safeword, Cho?" You asked, and he shook his head, "N-no, don't stop.. Yes, I-I do remember", You nodded.
You continued to playfully tease Choso, occasionally grazing his sensitive skin or tugging gently on the ribbon tied around his bicep.
Each touch sent adrenaline down his spine, causing him to squirm even more. "Please, stop teasing me," he begged, reaching for your face to kiss you, only to have you pull away and press your pointer finger against his lips.
"No, I'll kiss you when I want to, cho" you say with a giggle while he stared at you with furrowed eyebrows.
You enjoy seeing him like this, completely under control and wanting your attention. "Such a needy little thing," you muttered, tracing invisible patterns on his chest while sitting on his lap, completely dressed, not like him, bare.
You sit in front of him, stroking his cock with one hand while fondling his balls with the other, all while maintaining eye contact. Your hand moves from his balls to his thigh, massaging it, the other hand stopping at his tip and then twisting and holding it for a little while. He throws back his head and groans with pleasure. You're aware of his extreme sensitivity in the thigh area, which might lead to his orgasm occurring quickly. His slit is sensitive, so you press down on it with your pointer finger, making him wriggle. You're applying pressure to both of his vulnerable spots. “W-Wait, that's dirty, I'm sensitive too. Slow down. Don't touch both..” Between breaths, he says the words. He makes a high-pitched whine as you continue to rub them.
As you stroked Choso, he groaned many times and uncontrollably bucked his hips. He loved the sensation of your hands on him, especially in combination with your kept gaze. He whispered, "Please," his eyes begging for your attention. You wanted to see how fucked out he was before letting him cum, so you thought about holding off on letting him climax for a few times. Which you did. Three times. -
"I can't take much more, really, babe -ngh" His muscles tensing up as you've repeatedly edged him, strong muscles nearly ripping the ropes off. As he was about to finally rip them off, you said, "No breaking ropes cho, you’re doing really great.”
With an arrogant grin, you continued to edge him for precisely thirty-five minutes, knowing just what would push him over the edge. Choso's muscles tensed as a wave of pleasure passed over him, and his breathing became quicker.
“Oh, oh, oh! I'm cumming, I'm cumming!” You stroke his cock faster just as he began to cum, staring at his release. You watch the thick white and milky strings spurt out of his cock, eyes glowing in admiration. 
“That's it, Choso,” you cooed, loving the sight of him writhing beneath you. “Come for me, my pretty boy.”
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, -angh!”Another high pitched moan came out of his dirty, yet lovely mouth.
He kept releasing his seeds over and over again, not stopping after what you felt had been at least a minute and twenty seconds since he finally came after an hour of edging. Choso thought it was over, but he was wrong.
He felt your warm mouth wrap around his length, your hand slowly drawing out the plug and thrusting it back into his hole with force. “Fuck, wait, no, sensitive, no- I'm sensitive fuckkk,” he threw his head back, tears and spit streaming down his face.
You hummed. That vibration sent Choso over the brink again just minutes after he arrived; it was painful yet so good. He's overstimulated, moaning again and again as he feels your tongue everywhere, sucking him off and swallowing his cum preventing it from spilling out. You took off the butt plug out of his hole, and left it on the floor.
When you were swallowing, you kept a bit in your mouth. Standing up and softly kissing him, allowing him to taste himself and his cum. Tongue intertwined, it was a very sloppy kiss. You put your right hand on his chin and grip it. The other strips your underwear and sits on your knees, adjusting his cock to your entrance.
You were adjusting yourself, closing your eyes, focussing on kissing his lips and down below, not noticing Choso had removed the ropes off him. When his hands unexpectedly pushed you down forcibly on his cock, you yelped and made out muffled moans of pleasure as Choso leans back, your hands on his shoulder for support.
“Fuck- feel so good, cho,” you exclaimed, immediately undoing your buttons and stripping to your bra and miniskirt. He stopped the kiss and looked at you with lust and thirst.
“Your insides feel so warm, I'm going to come again...” “So tight,” he whispered before locking his lips on your collarbone and biting everywhere, leaving hickeys that would remain for days.
You bounced on his cock, supported by your partner's thrusts and the hands around your waist. You press your eyes tight and allow your orgasm to build with his.
“Cho ‘m so close…”
“Me too baby, ngh” The two of you moaned together, and you pressed your sweaty foreheads against one other as ecstasy gushed over you; finally, you opened your eyes and kissed each other, still bouncing on his cock, but a little slower than before. You can feel his cock jerking wildly, sending vibrations down into your core/cervix.
You continue till hours have passed. There you were cockwarming him: “Stay like this for a little longer, please.” He begged, and you nodded before wrapping your arms around him. The two of you remained in that position for some time before getting off to clean up.
You prepared a warm bath while Choso laid on his back, staring at the marks left by the ropes that restrained him. He looked up and across his body to discover a pink ribbon still tied around one of his biceps, which he thought was cute.
Maybe he’ll do the same thing to you next time because you pushed him too hard today, it did felt good though.
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a/n p.2 | The fact that this only took me an hour to write scares me. Hope you enjoy this one more than my prev work <3
@xstom on tumblr 2024, do not repost/copy/translate this post!
creds to the divider owner!
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ayyy-pee · 1 year
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Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Female Reader
Summary: Every choice Satoru makes just seems to be digging himself into a deeper hole. But when it comes to you, he can’t seem to help himself.
Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Toxic Behavior, Cheating, Protected Sex (wrap it up kids), Jealousy, Obsessive Behavior, Exes to Lovers (for a lil bit), Gojo is sprung on reader real bad, Dumb Stupid Idiot Satoru, Downbad Satoru
Gojo art by: Ilameys (used with permission)
Available to read on Ao3!
AN: Gojo has been eating my brain so I had to get something out. I've been obsessively listening to LIMBO by keshi and had it on repeat writing this (listen to it if you haven't!) Anyway, enjoy!
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“Satoruuuuu,” an aggravating, whiny voice slurs. “Can you get me another drink pleaseeeee?”
“Hm? Oh, sure.”
Satoru rises from his seat on the couch, running his fingers through his silky white hair. He leaves his girlfriend to chat with her friends as he makes his way to the kitchen for yet another drink. Really, he should cut her off and take her home. She’s insufferable when she gets a drop of liquor in her, not that she’s any less annoying when she’s sober. All the whining, all the clinginess, all the slurring of his name as she wraps herself all around him. It used to be cute when they first started dating a year ago. Now it’s just suffocating. But Satoru sucks it up, though he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe because when she drinks, he doesn’t have to deal with actually trying to have a conversation with her. She’s a bit more tolerable after a few drinks. Annoying still, but less so.
He maneuvers through the crowd of the house party he’s currently attending. It’s packed, the scent of alcohol heavy in the air. Leave it to Suguru to go all out when he’s back in town. The guy invited practically everyone from their time in high school. Since arriving, Satoru’s already run into Mei Mei, Ino, Utahime (unfortunately) and surprisingly Nanami. There’s even students from the Ainu Technical School here. He had no idea Suguru even knew them. 
Regardless, Satoru is happy to see everyone. He stops every so often to chat with old classmates as he wanders towards the kitchen. Everyone seems to be doing well for themselves since graduating high school, which Satoru is glad for. No matter how life went, he always wished everyone well.
And life was good for Satoru, too. At 26 years old, he certainly couldn’t complain about much. He’d graduated from high school, gone to college, had a hell of a great time during his undergrad career, got himself a well paying cushy sales job. And he had a girlfriend that he…had been with for awhile. Life couldn’t be better for him.
So why did it always feel like something was missing?
Satoru enters the enormous kitchen and makes a beeline to the assortment of drinks lined along the built-in bar. Of course Suguru has a built-in bar in his kitchen with an array of pre-made cocktails to choose from. Always such a great host when he’s not traveling to clean up celebrity messes for his PR firm.
“Satoru!” A man’s voice sings behind him as an arm slings across his shoulders. 
“Haibara,” Satoru greets him. “Back for another drink?”
Satoru grabs one of the plastic party cups from the counter and pours one of the cocktails into it; something fruity and syrupy. He might’ve given it a try if the overwhelming smell of tequila didn’t burn his nostrils. He thinks of his girlfriend, knowing she will definitely feel like shit by the end of the night.
“Hm?” Haibara shakes his head, his raven hair whipping with the movement. “No way. One is enough for me. I have early practice tomorrow. Coach says my swing needs work, so not willing to fuck that up.” Ah right. Satoru had totally forgotten that Haibara played tennis professionally now. He nods, listening to his friend fill him in on what his plans for tomorrow are. Haibara’s wide brown eyes follow Satoru’s movements as he fills his cup. “You, though? I never see you drink at these things?”
Satoru shakes his head. “Not for me. For my girlfriend.”
Haibara’s signature, open-mouthed grin spreads wide across his face. “Oh! You’re still dating her? Wow. Good for you, man.”
Something about the surprise in Haibara’s tone takes Satoru aback, brows knitting at this. “Why’d you say it like that?”
Haibara crosses his arms, his smile melting away with a sigh. “I mean…” Haibara sighs your name quietly. “The two of you were together for a long time before you broke up after high school. We all thought you’d still be together, but if you could end that relationship, I’m just a little surprised you’re still with this one. That’s all. But if you’re happy...”
Just hearing your name on Haibara’s tongue has Satoru’s stomach twisting in knots. He hasn’t seen or spoken to you in years, something he’s been wanting to change for a long time but too cowardly to do so. 
Satoru nods, giving Haibara a weak smile. He can admit that his girlfriend was…not the least bit interesting, annoying and did little for him. But he enjoyed her company sometimes.
“Just don’t be surprised if one of us leaves with Y/N tonight, though,” Haibara jokes, throwing his head back with an obnoxious chuckle. 
What?
Satoru feels his heart leap into his throat as his crystalline eyes dart rapidly over every occupant in the kitchen, only seeing the familiar faces of his old classmates and a few strangers. There’s no sign of you. Maybe Haibara was just fucking with him. 
Satoru laughs to save face, albeit awkwardly. “Funny,” he mutters, staring down into the drink meant for his current girlfriend, though now his thoughts are only occupied with you.
“Hey man, I need to get back to my girl, so I’ll catch you later,” Satoru tells his old friend.
“Yeah, later! Hey!” Haibara calls out to him and Satoru turns briefly. “Let’s get together to play some time!”
“Yeah, sure. Text me!” Satoru calls back, waving as he exits the kitchen. Unlikely, but he appreciates the effort.
Satoru shoulders through the crowd again, carefully holding onto the red cup in hand so it doesn't spill. He takes his time getting back, a new goal in mind: find you. Are you actually here? Or was Haibara just trying to mess with him? His heart pounds hard in his chest as he moves, eyes scanning every face he sees.
It’s been seven long years since Satoru last spoke to you - his first real crush, his first real girlfriend, his first time. His first everything. He wonders if you’ve thought about him at all in this time. He’d be surprised if you did. Things didn’t exactly end well between you two.
......
Seven Years Ago
You and Satoru dated all through high school. Satoru, a star athlete, played many sports and you supported him through them all, cheering for him at every game and helping him with his practice. You two were inseparable. If you weren’t at Satoru’s place, he was at yours. The love was deep between you two and a promise was made that you’d always be together.
But life didn’t always happen the way you wanted. The joy and excitement of being accepted into your dream schools did not last long when you realized you’d be going to school thousands of miles away and oceans apart. It was the first time a true test of your relationship was presented. Satoru was staying in Japan for college while you were headed overseas. Could your relationship survive the distance?
The first few months apart weren’t so bad. Satoru was making friends, excelling at school and becoming quite popular. You were also busy with your new life and hobbies. You made time for each other when you could. But it wasn’t enough. The loneliness Satoru felt without you was all consuming and it was only a matter of time before he found himself sending fewer texts, calling less, absorbed in the newness of college life.
Satoru loved you so much, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew the likelihood of a long distance relationship surviving was slim regardless of who it was. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but the trying part was becoming more burdensome than he wanted.
And it wasn’t as though you had done anything wrong. This feeling Satoru was experiencing was all on him. You made the effort to keep in touch, to call when you could. And you still wanted it to work. But if Satoru were honest, he just wanted to enjoy his time in school without the constant worry of pleasing someone who he never saw unless it was behind a screen. It was selfish of him, but he wanted to have fun. This was a new world and he wanted to be free to explore it.
So he ended things.
He’ll never forget the quiet sobs on the other end of the phone as he sat in silence after uttering the words, “I don’t think this is going to work out anymore”.
His heart ached listening to your hushed pleas for him to not do this, to not end things this way. But it was for the best. In the long run, you’d be happier. He’d be happier and what was that corny saying again?
If you love something, set it free? Satoru thinks that’s what he did that day.
And you were so upset. Rightfully so. You loved Satoru. You were each other’s first kiss, first times before you left for college, first loves. You’d quite literally given everything to each other. But Satoru couldn’t commit to you anymore. He didn’t want to. He wanted to enjoy college, live his life. It may be selfish of him, but he didn’t see it that way. It was his chance to grow. 
Even after all of your pleading, he stuck to his guns. It was torture, listening to you tearfully beg him not to do this to you. He had to end this.
So he told you he’d met someone else, that he couldn’t be with you anymore because there was another woman he wanted to be with. The stretch of silence was painful, Satoru quietly waiting to see if you had anything to add. The call ended with you hanging up in his face with only a choked sob as the last thing he’d heard. 
Adjusting to life without you proved difficult at first. Satoru isn’t embarrassed to admit he moped around campus for a while before he was able to start trying to move on. After that, the next few months of college were great. Satoru was Mr. Popular, quickly rising to the top of his collegiate sports team. He was the life of any party he went to, the center of attention wherever he went. 
Life should’ve felt perfect. 
But as the months passed, Satoru found his mind occupied with the thought of you at the worst times. 
While his professor discusses marketing strategies, Satoru’s mind wanders to you. 
What are you doing right now? 
When he’s at practice getting berated by the coach for poor blocking form, he knows he can’t tell him it’s because he’s distracted by the thought of you.
Who are you with? 
When he’s giving another girl his number at a party, planning to hook up later, he pushes back the memory of the first time he’d spoken to you. 
Where are you?
When he finds himself between another girl's legs that same night, he squeezes his eyes shut, picturing you and biting his tongue as he tries his best not to moan your name.
Do you still think about him?
The months soon stretch into a year and Satoru hopes this intense yearning he has for you will just fade away. He’s not so lucky. If anything, he thinks about you more. He checks your social media profiles to find you’ve removed him as a friend on everything. Of course you did. He ripped your heart in two. There was no way you’d allow him access back into your life. Your accounts are all private, so he can’t see anything and he’s not willing to ask a mutual friend about what you’ve been up to. It only makes him a little bit crazy that you’ve put up this wall between you two so he has no access to you. 
Another six months pass and Satoru works up the nerve to text you for the first time since you’d broken up. He hopes you’ll reply. It’s been more than a year. You can’t possibly still be upset, can you? He can admit that he could have handled the way he ended things better, sure. But if he can get past it, you can too, right?
You never respond.
More months pass by and soon another year. One late night, Satoru slips into his apartment after a failed hookup. He pulls his phone out, scrolling through his contacts to find your name. You didn’t reply to his last text. He doubts you’ll respond to this one, but he takes a deep breath and shoots off a message to you before he changes his mind.
Days later, you finally respond. You chat for a while, sending messages back and forth. Generic things, really. Just catching up. Until one night Satoru musters up the courage to call you.
“Hello?” You answer. There’s soft music in the background and Satoru wonders what you’re up to. Are you home? Maybe you’re relaxing and the music is on for background noise. Or maybe you’re with someone, listening to music to set the mood. There’s an unpleasant twist that forms in his stomach at the thought.
“Hey,” he says easily, though he can barely hear your voice over the rapid pounding of his heart. “I figured a phone call may be easier than just texting. What are you doing?”
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” He hears you shuffling around, then the quiet click of a door closing as the music fades out. “I’m actually at a friends for dinner.”
A friend. He wants to ask more about your friend, but he knows he has no right to that information anymore. 
“Sorry to interrupt your night,” he tells you, hoping his voice doesn’t betray how tense he is. His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest.
“It’s fine. I have a couple minutes to spare.” You sound relaxed. Like speaking to Satoru doesn’t have the same effect on you as it does on him. Like talking to him is just like talking to anybody else. He knows it’s his own fault it’s this way, but it still stings. “Did you need something?”
You.
That’s what Satoru wants to say. More than anything, he wants to tell you that he wants you back, that he needs you back. He wants to tell you he made a mistake breaking up with you, that he’s so sorry. He wants to ask that you’ll please forgive him. 
Satoru wants to say he regrets his decision to call it quits. Wants to admit that he should have made more of an effort to make it work out and not have been so fucking weak. He wants to tell you that if you’re willing to give it another try he is, too.
That’s what he wants.
Because after everything, he still l–
“Satoru?” You repeat your question and Satoru realizes he’s let the silence hang in the air between you both for far too long.
“Oh, I jus–”
“Babe? Dinner’s ready. Do you want any wine with yours?” A deep voice cuts through the quiet and Satoru feels his heart drop hearing someone else call you by the name that was once meant for only his use. He hears soft shuffling and hushed whispers and a “sorry, I thought you were off the phone, babe. You were quiet–”
He can tell you’ve muted your phone. He can’t hear anything anymore. The looming silence makes Satoru want to hang up on you so he can swallow the bitterness he feels. So you had moved on, found someone else who gets to treat you the way Satoru should have. It’s fair. It’s been years since you two had broken up. You’d barely started speaking again. Of course you would find someone new. You were perfect and anyone would be an idiot to let you go. Much like Satoru was.
His thumb lingers over the end call button on his screen…and then you’re back just before he presses it.
“Sorry about that,” you breathe. “Anyway, did you need something, Satoru?”
“That your friend?” Satoru asks, ignoring your question completely. He can’t even pretend it’s not because he wants to know who the hell was calling you ‘babe’.
You clear your throat. “No, ah…that’s my boyfriend,” you finally tell him.
The silence falls over you again for a few seconds, Satoru trying to find his words. Again, it’s fair for you to date someone else. Satoru had ended things. He lost his right to be jealous when he did. And yet, against his better judgment, he leans into the bitterness he felt moments ago, forcing out a laugh. “Good! Oh, that’s good for you. Glad you found someone.”
“...Thanks?”
Satoru hums. “Yeah. I mean, glad we both moved on. I was actually worried when I was calling that you’d still be hung up on me or something.” He winces, but laughs awkwardly again. Knows he just shot himself in the foot. Maybe you’ll just laugh it off, take it as a bad joke.
“Yeah.” Your voice is clipped, short. “Okay, well, it was great catching up with you, Satoru. I have to go now.”
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Got it. Well, have fun at your din–”
The line goes dead.
Satoru tosses his phone to the side, throws himself back on his bed with a groan. 
“Idiot.”
You don’t return any more of his calls or texts.
......
Present
Satoru’s feet carry him through the crowd, conversation drifting through the air. He can hear Utahime yelling at Suguru and Satoru resists the damn near instinctual urge to turn towards the screeching so he can join Suguru in whatever antics set her off. It’s always funny seeing how red her face gets. He also hears the sounds of Shoko’s airy laugh as she catches up with Nanami and Ijichi. An odd group, he thinks, but Satoru doesn’t have time to dwell on it because he hears the sweet sound of your laugh and–
Wait.
He stops in his tracks, the drink in his hand sloshing with the abrupt halt. He turns his head to peer over the crowd, but he doesn’t see anything, doesn’t see you. Maybe his mind is playing tricks on him. There’s no way you’d actually be here. You’re overseas. At least, he thinks you may be overseas. That’s the last thing he knew about you for certain. Satoru’s not sure what you’re up to these days. He hasn’t asked, afraid of what the answer will be. He’s not sure he could handle knowing you’re potentially engaged or happily married. Hell, he’s not sure he could handle knowing if you’re dating someone. 
His piercing blue gaze finally lands on you and he realizes Haibara was actually not joking about someone potentially leaving with you tonight. Because you’re right there, off to the side of the crowd with some man, giggling at whatever he’s saying.
Satoru knows it’s you, even from a distance. He couldn’t mistake those beautiful eyes for anyone else's, the way they crinkle ever so slightly in the corners when you smile. He could never mistake those luscious, glossed lips he loved to kiss. You’re all smiles, as stunning as he remembers.
Everything keeps moving as time seems to stand still only for Satoru, his eyes never leaving you. And he knows he’s at this party with someone else. That’s what he should be focused on, but you’re all he cares about right now. His gaze locks onto your lips, following the curve of your smile, the way your tongue darts out just a bit to run along your bottom lip, the way those lips form your words. 
You may still hate him after all this time, but Satoru wants to talk to you. He almost wants to get just close enough for you to notice him. Maybe you’ll make the first move and talk to him.
‘What the fuck am I doing?’ He thinks, lips pursed in concentration.
He should get back to his actual girlfriend. He’s been gone for too long. She’s bound to come looking for him if he doesn’t get back to her soon. Yeah, he’ll just go back. Talking to you won’t be good for him anyway –
The man you’re speaking to leans forward, his lips moving to your ear and Satoru, with his eyes still glued to your lips, feels his blood boil as he watches them part with what he’s pretty sure is a sigh. When he sees your hand come up to lay on the other man’s arm, his nostrils flare with irritation. When you smirk at what the man is whispering, he feels his jaw tighten. And when the other man’s hand comes to land on your waist, Satoru’s feet move before he even realizes what he’s doing.
As he approaches, the man steps away, a slick grin on his face and you roll your eyes, shaking your head and giggling. Are you actually flirting with this guy? It’s only as he gets closer that Satoru can better make out who it is; poorly done bleach job, shitty eyeliner around his eyes, and too many ear piercings. It’s just Naoya Zenin. From what Satoru remembers, you hated that fucker all of high school.
Unless something’s changed and suddenly you’re into him? Is this who you’re dating now?
Satoru wants to be pissed, but this may work in his favor. If you could be on good terms with Naoya, who you absolutely despised for as long as you’d known him, then maybe you had room in your heart to forgive him for being such a piece of shit to you all those years ago.
Your eyes drift over to Satoru as he approaches you both. And you hardly react, only offering him a small smile before your attention drifts back to Naoya. And though a tiny curve of your lips is something, the lack of a reaction kind of annoys the shit out of him.
“Hey,” Satoru greets, mainly directed towards you because fuck Naoya.
“Hi, Satoru.” You fold your arms over your chest, eyes coming back to meet his. God, you’re as pretty as Satoru remembers you being. This close to you, Satoru can see how much you’ve changed. And time has been very good to you. You’re still beautiful in the youthful way Satoru remembers, but you’re grown now. His eyes trail down your frame quickly, drinking in the way you’ve filled out.
“Gojo…” Naoya says with clear disdain in his voice.
“Zenin.”
And it’s quiet now. Awkward. But it doesn’t matter to Satoru. His eyes are only on you.
You pull your gaze away from Satoru and back to Naoya.
“You look great,” Satoru tells you, sipping the drink meant for his girlfriend to keep himself from potentially following up with something stupid. He grimaces slightly at the taste before trying to cover it with a lopsided grin.
And you give him the same grin back, a little shy. It’s cute.
“Thanks, Satoru. You look good, too.”
“I didn’t know you were back in town.”
“Yeah, I’ve been back for a few months now. Just settling back in and working,” your brows knit together as you lean to the side to glance around Satoru. “I’m surprised Suguru didn’t tell you since I just had lunch with him like two days ago.”
He realizes you must be looking for Suguru when you straighten your stance again. Deep in his mind, Satoru makes a mental note to have a word with Suguru about this later. Next to him, Naoya snorts and Satoru has to resist saying something that will surely end with them in a fight. You must sense the tension because you ask Naoya if he can grab you a drink which prompts an eye roll from him, but he goes anyway. 
“Doubt he’ll be back,” you mutter to Satoru with a smirk. “That asshole wants to hook up so bad it’s pathetic,” a soft chuckle rushes past your lips.
“Not interested, then?” Satoru jokes, a smile spread across his face.
You narrow your eyes, “Ha ha. You know I hate that guy. He won’t be back anyway. No way he’s gonna waste time getting a drink for someone who isn’t fucking him at the end of the night.”
If you weren’t still watching Naoya push his way through the crowd of partygoers, you may have seen Satoru visibly deflate.
“Ah, good to know you haven’t lowered your standards,” Satoru says and you laugh. The sound makes Satoru’s head spin. It’s been so long since he’s heard it.
“I don’t think my standards could ever be low enough to fuck Naoya,” you clarify, nose crinkling in disgust. Satoru chuckles at your reaction, watching as you shift uncomfortably before him. You fidget with the hem of your dress before you speak again.
“It’s actually really good to see you, Satoru.”
“Is it really?”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to reach out for a while. Life just got away from me.”
Satoru’s brows lift in surprise. “Reach out for what?” Your eyes are boring into his, wide and surveying, peering into his soul. Just the way they always did. 
“I just felt like things left off on such a sour note with us. And you reached out trying to build a friendship and at the first sign of things getting weird, I just…ran. Didn’t look back. You were trying and I wasn’t. You didn’t deserve that.”
He knows you’re referring to the last time you’d spoken, though he’s not sure why you’re the one trying to apologize.
“And I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being a terrible friend to you.”
You always were way too sweet to him. He didn’t deserve that.
“I should be apologizing to you,” Satoru shakes his head. “I was still jealous back then. When I said I was worried you were still hung up on me, it’s because I was trying to cover up the fact that I was still hung up on you. Hearing your boyfriend call you babe–”
“Ex-boyfriend,” you interrupt, a soft smile gracing your features. Satoru smirks.
“Hearing your ex-boyfriend call you babe, it just…made me feel a lot of things I didn’t understand at the time. I shouldn’t have said what I did to set you off. I’m sorry.”
It’s only been a few minutes of you talking and it already feels like a weight has been lifted, like the wall you put up all those years ago has come down. You both must look strange, just standing off in the corner alone staring and smiling at each other like you’re the only two people in the room. 
You talk a bit more, catch up on life. It doesn’t take long for things to feel comfortable between you two again - for your bodies to move a little closer, for your eyes to meet more often, for your shy touches to linger a little longer.
You’ve got your hand wrapped around Satoru’s forearm, snickering at something he’s said. And when you glance up at him, there’s something in your eyes telling him it’s okay to ask this. Because Satoru is happy to know you’re not interested in Naoya, even happier to know you’ve broken up with your college boyfriend, but what he wants to know now is –
“Are you seeing anyone? Dating, I mean,” He asks while he still has the nerve and tries not to let his eyes fall to your mouth when you shake your head and draw your lower lip between your teeth. 
“Nope, single and just enjoying life honestly. You?”
Yes.
“Me?” Satoru asks.
Say yes, stupid.
You nod. “Yeah, you. Are you with someone?”
Yes. Yes.
“Uhh, well…”
YES.
The voice in his head is screaming the answer, the one he knows he should give you. The one that would confirm to Satoru that even after everything he’s done, he’s not a shitty person, not a terrible boyfriend. But when he looks at you, eyes shining up at him with those pretty lips curled into a smirk, he doesn’t want anything more than to be with you.
God, he’s such a piece of shit. He knows it. He’s not even thinking about his girlfriend still sitting around waiting for him to come back. He’s got tunnel vision and the only thing he sees is you.
Say yes!
“I…am not…with someone.”
......
The door to Suguru’s master bathroom slams shut, your back pressed against it as Satoru’s lips find your neck, licking a long strip from your collarbone up to your chin. 
“Ah- Toru, the door. Lock the door,” you gasp, threading your fingers into his soft tresses to pull him down for a kiss. His fingers fumble around before he finds the lock, quickly turning before he breaks the kiss to focus on your neck again, kissing and sucking, marking anywhere he can. Your hands move to glide underneath his shirt, fingers grazing over his defined muscles and you sigh just as Satoru moves away from your neck to press his lips against yours.
Soft. So soft. It’s been so long since Satoru’s had you like this. He’d forgotten your taste, your smell and right now, it feels like he can’t get enough. Fuck the liquor, he’s drunk on you.
“Can I touch you?” Satoru breathes against your mouth. And you nod, kissing him again. He groans as your lips part, tongue slipping out to glide against his lips, seeking entry. And he obliges, gives you all the access you want as your tongues tangle together. You moan into his mouth, the sound shooting straight to his cock.
The dress you’re wearing is nice, simple but fits your body beautifully. Satoru can’t wait to get underneath it. He reaches down, pulling the hem of your dress up until it’s sitting at your waist. He slips his hand into your panties, hissing when he feels how soaked you are.
“So wet for me,” Satoru whispers into the kiss. “You want me that bad, baby?”
You nod, panting hard. “Yeah, so bad, Satoru,” you moan when his fingers glide through your slick fold, back arching off the door. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”
“I’m yours, baby.”
His lips crash into yours again, fingers working tight circles against your clit. You cry out, your hands balling into fists as you cling to Satoru’s shirt. He breaks the kiss, pressing his face into your neck as one of his fingers finds your entrance, plunging in slowly. Your mouth opens with a gasp as Satoru pumps into you, curling his finger until he finds your sweet spot.
He pulls back, watches your face as he slips another finger inside. He likes the way your legs shake when he turns his fingers a certain way. And the way your back arches off the door when he presses his thumb to your clit. It’s all new to him, these reactions you’re giving. You were a lot younger when you’d first become intimate. Now, it’s clear you’re much more experienced. The thought bothers and excites Satoru.
He pulls his fingers from your core, kissing you when you poke your lip out in a pout. And then he’s bending you over the bathroom sink, pushing your dress even higher before he slips his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulls them down.
“Fuck, I never thought I’d see you like this again,” he groans, palming himself through his pants.
“Toru, stop wasting time and fuck me, please.”
You’re a lot more demanding now too, apparently. He doesn’t mind.
“Did you miss me?” Satoru asks, because he’s dying to know. Did you think about him when you were with your boyfriend? Were you trying not to cry out Satoru’s name when you fucked him? Did you want him back as much as he wanted you?
Satoru unbuttons his jeans, pulls his pants and boxers down together, hissing as his cock springs free. He’s so fucking hard, he could cum just looking at you bent over the sink like this. But Satoru wants to savor you, wants to enjoy this moment of having you again for the first time in so long. He reaches over and pulls open one of the bathroom drawers, fishing around until he finds a condom and he mentally thanks Suguru for always being prepared.
“Tell me,” he demands, wrapping a hand around his length. He strokes himself lazily as he rips the condom open. He rolls the condom down his length, lining himself up with your entrance. “Did you miss me?”
You’re so patient, waiting quietly for Satoru. Although, he can hear your breathing becoming a little harsher in anticipation. Satoru moves behind you, lines himself up with your entrance and just before he’s about to roll his hips forward, he glances up to see his reflection in the mirror with you bent over and ready for him.
“Look at me,” he says. You look up, watching him through the reflection. Even in the dim lighting of the bathroom, Satoru can see your pupils blown wide with lust matching his own. He wants to see you, wants to see your face when you take him for the first time in so long.
“Look at me,” he tells you again.
“Okay,” you breathe.
“Tell me you missed me,” Satoru quietly demands as he pushes forward, sliding the tip through your folds and sinking in slowly.
“Fuuuuuuck,” your mouth falls slack with a moan. Satoru’s hands find your waist, holding your curves as he sinks into you. “I missed you, Toru. So much, so fucking much.”
“God, baby, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”
He’s halfway in and he has to stop to catch his breath because hearing you moan his name like that…He may not make it all the way in without blowing his load right into the condom. You’re suffocating him, clenching onto his cock so hard he’s almost afraid to move.
“Satoru, please. Don’t stop,” you plead. He meets your gaze in the mirror again, sees the way your eyes burn with desire. Satoru pulls his hips back until only his tip sits inside you and then he rolls his hips forward, burying himself as deep in your cunt as he can.
Your walls clench down on his cock and he moans again before he starts to move, pounding into you at an unrelenting pace. You cry out his name and he keeps moving, not letting up.
Satoru brings a hand around your neck, holding your head in place so he can look at you through the mirror. He sinks into you, bending down to kiss along your neck, your shoulders, your back as he bottoms out again and again, moaning his pleasure against you.
Satoru thinks you feel like heaven. It’s the only thing he can think when he leans back and grips on to your waist again, watching your face contort in ecstasy. Every little sound you make, every moan, every sigh, every “right there” you utter brings Satoru closer and closer to his release. 
Satoru has missed you. He’s missed the way your skin feels against his, missed the way your breath hitches in your throat when his cock hits just the right spot, missed touching and grabbing the soft curves of your beautiful body. Missed how your ass bounces with each thrust, cheeks spreading just enough to give him a glimpse of that tight little hole he’s never gotten the chance to have. And god, he hopes no one else has either. 
More than anything though, he’s missed the way you take all of him, hug him tight like you never want to let him go. Fuck, he could live inside you and never get tired of it. The thought alone, the thought of having you all to himself again has him leaning forward, moaning into the space between your shoulders as he rocks his hips against you. The loud smacking noises of Satoru’s groin meeting your ass echo throughout the bathroom, and he doesn’t care who hears. 
“Fuuuck, how are you so fucking tight, still?” Satoru groans, reminiscing on the first time he’d ever had you. An out of body experience for him, personally. Truly unforgettable.
“I’m never letting you go again,” he grunts, feeling your walls begin to flutter around him.
“Toru, I’m close,” you whimper. “So close, Toru, don’t stop.”
“Cum for me baby,” Satoru groans, hand sliding down your side to find your center again. He rubs tight circles on your clit, eyes rolling to the back of his head when he feels your pussy squeeze down on him as you cry out his name, your release crashing over you.
It’s so tight, so fucking tight Satoru thinks he might pass out. He can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t fucking see straight, you’re gripping him so hard.
“Ah- fuck, oh fuck! I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he grits out as he pushes his cock all the way inside you, thrusting as deep as he can go as hot spurts of cum fill the condom. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against your back as you both catch your breath.
Satoru meant what he said. He never wants to let you go. He has every intention of being with you. After you’ve both come down from your highs and cleaned up, Satoru kisses you gently. He watches as you turn back to the mirror. You’re even more beautiful as you tame your messy hair, fix your makeup and adjust your dress. 
“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asks, ready to make up for years worth of lost time.
Your eyes meet in the mirror, your lips tilting with a small smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”
......
Fingers laced, you and Satoru weave through the party together. The crowd seems to have thinned out now with how late it’s getting. It’s the perfect time to get out of here with you, take you home and –
“Satoru! There you are!” A familiar voice squeals. The sound makes Satoru quickly yank his hand from your grip. You stop in your tracks, brows furrowing as you look up at him.
“What’s the matter?” You ask just as this person you don’t know bounds up to him and wraps her arms around Satoru’s neck, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek before she lets go.
And Satoru isn’t sure how he hasn’t noticed this before. It seems like some sick twist of fate that it’s only now that you’re standing next to each other that he sees how eerily similar you and his girlfriend look. It makes his stomach churn.
But his girlfriend, so drunk and so sweet, turns to you and beams as she holds out her hand to you. “Hi! I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Satoru’s girlfriend…” His stomach nearly drops into his ass. “...you are?”
God, he wishes he could teleport out of here. Or that the ground would open wide and swallow him whole, bury him 8,000 meters beneath the earth. Anything to avoid being present at this moment. He peers down at you briefly, your hand extending to shake his girlfriends for only a second. And Satoru thinks he may be imagining it, the sheer anger he can feel radiating off of your body, even as you return his girlfriend’s sweet smile.
“Satoru’s girlfriend?” You ask and he knows you’re making sure you aren’t hearing things. Because not too long ago, he told you he wasn’t tied down to anyone. “I wasn’t aware he was dating anyone.”
“Yep! Been together almost a year now,” she brags cheerily. Satoru really wishes she’d shut up for once in her damn life.
You breathe out a bitter laugh, gazing up at Satoru and he knows he’s not imagining the rage. He can see it swimming in your eyes even as you reach up, your thumb gently swiping the corner of his mouth where apparently remnants of your lip gloss remained. You hold your finger up to show him and then hold it up to show his girlfriend who five seconds ago was too drunk to notice. She seems to have sobered up quickly now, eyes focused on the lip gloss you just wiped from Satoru’s face.
You introduce yourself to her, wiping your thumb off on your dress before continuing, “And I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m the girl who just fucked your lying boyfriend in the bathroom.”
Satoru watches in ill disguised horror as you crane your next to the side, gesturing to the marks he so stupidly made along your neck in the heat of passion. His eyes find his girlfriend who stands there, mouth agape.
“Satoru told me he wasn’t seeing anyone. If I had known it wouldn’t have happened. And believe me, it won’t ever happen again.” You turn to face Satoru one last time, gritting out, “I can’t fucking believe you. After all these years, you’re still such a piece of shit, Satoru.”
You don’t wait for a response from him, turning on your heel and storming through the crowd. Satoru watches as your back retreats, not sure what the hell he’d say even if he did catch up to you. How could he explain that he lied about his girlfriend because he wanted to spend more time with you? It’s not like he planned on fucking in the bathroom, it just happened. But there was no way you were going to give him a second of your time to try and explain.
There was no coming back from this.
When he finally loses sight of you in the crowd, Satoru reluctantly brings his gaze back down to his probably soon to be ex-girlfriend and is met with a fury similar to yours. Again, the similarities are uncanny. All the love and happiness once shining in her eyes is nowhere to be found as one question hangs in the air between them.
“Satoru, what the fuck is she talking about?”
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AN: OOF, let me know what you think!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist
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lemonlover1110 · 1 year
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 5] Evening Off
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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“Mommy…” Ren taps your face. Lately he’s picked up the bad habit of waking you up earlier than you’re supposed to, and it’s getting on your nerves. The first morning was because he was hungry, but lately it’s because he’s bored and wants to spend time with you– You understand where he’s coming from, you two barely spend time together and the early morning is the only time you can actually do something, but you barely sleep and you appreciate every minute of rest.
“Let’s sleep some more, buddy.” You tell him, wrapping your arm around him and cuddling him. You need to save up all your energy for tonight, after all, you’re going out with people you don’t want to go out with. You talked to your mother to take care of Ren since she’s feeling better, you also wanted to give the nanny the night off since she has her own family to take care of. 
“I’m not sleepy, mommy.” He answers while your hand begins to pet his hair. You hope that it’ll help him sleep, but once Ren wakes up, it’s hard to get him to go back to sleep. He gives you around five minutes– Five minutes in his mind, but it’s actually a minute of extra sleep before he says, “Can we play, mommy?”
“Baby, I’m so tired.” You whine, and he worms out of your embrace. You hear him walk away, and just as you’re succumbing to slumber, you hear a squeaky toy in your ear. You finally open your eyes, and you look at the little boy who looks at you with doe eyes. He just really misses you and wants to spend time with you. You get up and you begin to walk to the bathroom, “Brush your teeth before anything, Ren.”
“Okay!” He yells before he runs behind you to brush his teeth. And like that, your day gets started.
You eat breakfast, play a little with Ren, then you make lunch for the two of you, and after you play a little more, and by a little more, you mean for the rest of the day. You’re tired of playing, but he’s just so happy while he plays with you. When you finally get him to watch a show and relax, there’s a knock on the door and then someone rings the doorbell; you know it’s your mother, meaning that it’s time for you to start getting ready and actually start your day. 
You open the door, and your mother engulfs you with a hug. You hug her back, a smile coming to your face as you feel her arms around you. The smile fades as you remember that you have to go out. And your stupid self agreed to go out clubbing with them afterwards. Maybe you can cancel last minute, but you’re not sure that Mrs. Gojo would be too happy with you.
She walks inside, pulling away from the hug. She calls out Ren’s name, and the little boy goes running to his grandmother. He hugs her, and you smile as you watch the exchange. You close the door and you tell them, “I’ll start getting ready.”
They ignore you as you walk to your room and to the bathroom to take a shower and begin getting ready. You try not to spend too much time getting ready because you tell yourself that you’re not trying to impress anyone… But you are, and even though you try not to spend too much time on your makeup, you do. You take too long picking out an outfit and matching shoes. You’re not even going to comment on accessories– You don’t have a lot to pick from, yet you struggle with which ones to put on.
While you decide on the earrings, your mother walks into the room. You don’t notice her, focused on your reflection on the mirror. You’re startled when she says, “This is a nice apartment.”
“I know. I like this better than staying at her house.” You share, and she chuckles in response.
“I can only imagine the nightmare she is. Worse with age.” She responds, and you hum in response. You finally decide on the earrings and you put them on.
“She’s not so bad with Ren. Absolutely adores that boy, that I can say.” You tell her. You finally turn to look at her, a sigh leaving your lips before you roll your eyes just thinking of Mrs. Gojo. “She wants to make my life miserable though. I have no idea why she wants me to go out with her son and friends. She probably just wants me to be miserable.”
“‘Her son’ like he isn’t Ren’s father.” She quotes, and you two are so focused on your conversation that you miss the little boy that stands behind your mother, one that walked out of his room and wondered where his grandmother went. He makes his presence known when he hears the word father.
“Daddy? Are you going to see my daddy, mommy?” Ren speaks up, and you both freeze as if you had been caught red-handed. As Ren grows older, he asks more questions about his family. Thanks to what he sees on television, he knows that he’s supposed to have a father. It also doesn’t help that he sees his friends’ fathers, and he slowly realizes that he’s supposed to have one as well. Your mother turns around and smiles down at the young boy.
“How about we get some ice cream.” She offers, completely dismissing the question. He completely forgets about what he was talking about at the offer for ice cream, and you watch as he nods excitedly, a big smile coming to his face. You watch them walk away and go to the kitchen, and you end up sighing. Each day you wonder how you’ll answer the inevitable question of who his father is and where he’s at; he doesn’t know about you doesn’t seem like a good enough answer. 
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You arranged a ride to take you to the restaurant that you were supposed to go to. You weren’t expecting anything fancy, just a small restaurant to eat something before getting the night started, but you’re proved wrong. Of course you are. They’re not going somewhere cheap to eat, even if they have other plans after. You’re not sure if you’re dressed right until you see Shoko who dresses in the same style. She holds a cigarette between her lips, and she throws it on the floor when she sees you walking over.
“Are we underdressed or…?” You begin and she chuckles before she pulls out the phone to look at the time. “I was expecting some cheap place… I mean they do have plans to go out afterwards right?”
“It’s funny you think that they’d step near a cheap restaurant.” Shoko responds, and you two begin to walk into the place. Shoko tells the hostess Gojo’s name for the reservation, and she walks you to your table. You find that you’re not the first ones there since Suguru is sitting at the table, scrolling through his phone. Shoko rolls her eyes before saying, “It’s a surprise that you’re here early.”
“Why do you sound irritated by that?” Suguru says, raising his brow as he look at Shoko. The man stands up from his chair to walk over to you and give you a side-hug. When he does so, he walks back to his seat, and you take a seat as well. “Did you two come here together or…?”
“We just met outside.” Shoko answers. Your leg begins to bounce as you think about what’s coming up next. Shoko notices and she’s about to ask why the hell you even decided to show up, but she puts two and two together and it all goes back to Mrs. Gojo. “How long do you think it’ll take for Sayo to realize that they were together for a bit.”
“Who?” Suguru asks, genuinely confused but then he looks at you. Suguru then chuckles before shrugging. “I mean… They are so awkward around each other, she’s bound to know something is up.”
“I’m right here. Change the topic.” You tell them. “I don’t want to talk about the Gojos. I already have enough dealing with the mother daily, I don’t want to talk about the son nor the wife.”
“How did you even end up working for her?” Suguru questions, and that’s something that Shoko also wonders; she knows that you had a son, but that’s about it. What prompted you to seek out help from Mrs. Gojo.
“A lot of bills, little money, barely any help.” You keep it vague. “What can I say? She might be a total bitch but the woman pays well.”
And just as you say so, the couple makes their presence known. Your face gets hot immediately, thinking that they heard you call Satoru’s mother a bitch. Sayo and Satoru greet everyone at the table before taking a seat. Your eyes look over Sayo, and you feel… Inferior. You know another person’s beauty doesn’t take from your own, but as you look at her, you feel as if she’s sucked the beauty out of you. She wears a white silk dress that accentuates her body, a ruby necklace around her neck with matching earrings, and red lipstick on her lips– She’s not dressed  to go out clubbing.
She looks at you and smiles. “It’s so nice to see you here.”
“How’s your cat doing? I hope he’s not too bummed out that you’re here.” Suguru mentions and you end up chuckling. Dinner would’ve been fine without Satoru and Sayo, but that’s not the reality. They’re there so it’s all too awkward, even if you try to converse. Sayo is pretty much the only one that speaks, occasionally, Suguru helps her out.
You do find out that she’s your age, of course from a wealthy family, and she’s currently a stay-at-home wife, and she’s planning on keeping it that way. She’s into painting, yoga, horseback riding, and whatever rich pastime one could think. What you find the most interesting is that apparently Sayo and Satoru met once before in their childhood: a winter that the Gojos went to Switzerland. They have a picture together from years ago. It made you comment,
“Wow, it’s like you two are soulmates.”
Sayo chuckles while Satoru’s eyes wander around. He can’t look at you straight, you don’t think he ever will again. Sayo tucks a strand of her long black hair behind her ear before she comments, “I don’t believe in soulmates, and Satoru doesn’t either.”
“Really?” You furrow your eyebrows then you look at Satoru. He would always call you his soulmate but apparently he’s changed. Or maybe he doesn’t want to admit something so foolish to his wife.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” She asks and you end up nodding. She then proceeds to ask, “Do you think you’ve met your soulmate?”
“I don’t think I have.” You answer, and you glance at Satoru who finally looks at you. You look away and your eyes land on Suguru. “How’s your residency going?”
“God, let’s not talk about that because I’ll rip my hair out.” Suguru responds, which makes Shoko say,
“Oh my God, let’s talk about it then.” She smirks while looking at Suguru, and Suguru rolls his eyes. The pair used to get along but now Shoko seems like she can’t stand Suguru.
“You’re just mad because your parents didn’t let you study medicine.” Suguru comments, and she end up scoffing. Sayo takes over the conversation before they continue bickering.
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Shoko drives you and Suguru to the club that you’re going meeting Satoru and Sayo at. You’re more excited about this than dinner because you actually have the chance to get away. You’re able to let loose for the first time in five years. Of course, you’re in a private booth of the club because apparently Sayo and Satoru don’t like to be close to other people, but it’s fine. You and Shoko still get away.
You do a round of shots with Shoko, which didn’t take too much convincing from her part, and then you dance with her. You’re having fun with her, until you feel a pair of hands on your hips, and you tense up. You turn to look at who it is, brushing their hands away. You bite down your lip, holding back a smile as you put Suguru’s hands back on your hips. You begin to dance together, and when Shoko notices, she walks away not wanting to witness whatever the hell is happening.
“Why aren’t you two dancing?” Shoko asks, raising her voice so it can be heard over the music, walking back to Satoru and Sayo. She’ll sit down for a minute, have a drink, and then go back to dance. Satoru has his arm wrapped around Sayo, just looking around while she sips on her cocktail.
“Sayo doesn’t like to dance. What about you? Are you tired already?” Satoru replies, raising his voice as well, and Shoko chuckles.
“Suguru started dancing with her and I needed to get out of their way before they started making out in front of me.” Shoko says, which makes Sayo laugh while Satoru shifts in his seat. His eyes look around for you amongst the crowd of people and he finally finds you, grinding on Suguru. 
“Does she like him?” Sayo asks, and Shoko shrugs.
“I know that he likes her! Ever since we were teens!” Shoko responds, and maybe it’s the dim purple lighting that makes her eyes see things, but she swears she sees Satoru clench his jaw. She acts as if she didn’t see anything, playing it off as her own faulty eyesight before she stands up to get herself another drink. She doesn’t want to stay with Satoru and Sayo for too long; she feels too awkward when she’s alone with them.
“I’m gonna get something to drink! Will you come with me?!” You tell Suguru and he follows behind you when you grab his hand instead of letting go. And even though you came here with the Gojos, you’ve completely forgotten since you’re having fun. You finally let go of Suguru when you spot Shoko, and you hug her from behind before resting your chin on her shoulder.
“Are you drunk already? You’ve only had one shot.” Shoko comments. “Did you become a lightweight after having a baby or what—”
“Huh?!” Suguru’s eyes widen. Did he hear that right or is the music so loud that he’s mishearing things?
“What?!” Shoko turns around, and you let go of her. She acts as if she didn’t say what she just said, and she’s able to convince him that he heard wrong. And instead of getting the drink that you originally had in mind, you do another round of shots with Shoko but this time, Suguru takes one with you.
You go back to dancing with Suguru, and you try to drag Shoko with you, but she doesn’t want to join you. The next time you do see her, she’s with Sayo which you weren’t expecting. But you don’t pay much attention to them.
You’re focused on having your own fun with Suguru.
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“Uhh…” Suguru’s neck hurts. He slowly opens his eyes, feeling something poking his cheek. He doesn’t remember much from last night– Just dancing with you, and maybe having a little too much to drink… Did he drive himself home? No, he’s not reckless nor irresponsible. He didn’t even take his car– Maybe it was Shoko. His head is killing him, and he wants to go back to sleep, but something keeps poking him.
He opens his eyes and the place is too bright. This has to be Shoko’s apartment because it certainly isn’t his. He sits up, and begins to look around. The poking on his cheek stops, instead it transfers to his ribcage. And he finally looks down.
His eyes widen at the sight. Is he still sleeping? He has to be because he’s seeing a four-year-old version of Satoru; he doesn’t remember taking any drugs last night. Suguru just stares at the little boy.
He fully wakes up when he hears,
“Are you my daddy?”
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starcurtain · 2 months
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Normally I am a very dedicated single-shipper and don't multi-ship too many characters, but seeing Sugilite, I was kind of like "Okay, but Sugilite and Aventurine would be a whole lot of pretty in one ship."
However, then I saw this fanart on twitter and now I'm just like... Hang on, hang on a second.
Hey Star's brain, have you considered: Bi disaster Sugilite who thinks he has an (extremely unfortunate, how did this happen, no way aghhhh!!) crush on Aventurine, so now he's stuck seething over Aventurine's newfound whatever with Dr. freaking Ratio of all people--
But he has no one else to whine about this to, so he's just constantly involving Topaz in his drama.
"Be my cover so I can spy on them--"
"This is not a thing that normal people do, you know."
Three hour phone calls complaining about Aventurine daring to breathe.
Dragging her out with him on fake dates trying to make Aventurine jealous--
Eating all the ice cream in Topaz's freezer without permission because he deserves to feel good about something in life again; Topaz, you just wouldn't understand--
Until finally Topaz is like "Sugilite, real talk here: Do you even actually like Aventurine, or are you just jealous he found someone and you're still single? Because you're the most annoying person I know, but also... I'm right here? We could just go on a real date sometime, you know?"
This is how Sugilite realizes he is actually a certifiable boyfailure™.
And also how I make Sugilite/Topaz a thing. I have a vision.
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astrayas · 7 months
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Pressure Point
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x fem reader 
Warnings: MDNI, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
WC: 6k
Summary: When you run into Toji Fushiguro for the first time in years, you find him in the most unexpected position: as your new massage therapist.
18+!!!
Ao3 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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“…So she wasn’t able to make it in today. I’m so sorry for the short notice!”
You sling your bag back onto your shoulder and rub your neck, masking your disappointment with a polite smile. 
“Oh…that’s a shame,” you say. You were really looking forward to your appointment today. Your usual masseuse is nothing less than an artist, and you’ve got plenty of knots to work out right now. “Well, when’s the next time she’s free?”
“Since you’re one of her regulars, I think we could work you in tomorrow…” the manager chirps, clicking at her computer. She takes a few minutes, clearly unfamiliar with the software. They’re really understaffed today. “But…oh! Actually, there is someone available to take you right now.”
“Oh?” You perk back up again, which is all it takes to strain your muscles. You wince just a bit. You really need some relief.
“Yes! He’s actually our top massage therapist. His new clients normally have to book him months in advance, but it looks like he had a cancellation today. I can go grab him, if you’re interested!”
You deflate just a little. Him? You’ve never seen a male massage therapist, and you weren’t planning to start today. Then your shoulder whines at you again, as if to protest your hesitation, and you’re rubbing at it before you realize it.
Well, if he’s really that good…
“Um. Sure,” you force out. “If it’s not too much trouble.”
“Not at all!” She springs to her feet and graces you with a polished customer service smile. “Please, have a seat. I’ll go let him know.”
“Thanks,” you mutter, a rush of nerves guiding your short, stilted steps to the nearest chair. You flop into it and try to reason with yourself. If you get uncomfortable, you can just leave. But he’s their top massage therapist. He obviously knows what he’s doing, and you really need—
“Nuh-uh. I don’t do walk-ins.”
A loud, gruff voice booms from the hallway, clearly audible through the thick waiting room door. Whoever’s speaking doesn’t seem to care about indoor voices. You have to strain to hear the manager’s response.
“She’s not a walk-in!” she argues. “She had an appointment, but Rei called out at the last minute.”
“Sounds like that’s Rei’s problem, then.”
After a few seconds of silence, you stand up. This sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. You can wait another day; you’ll just tell them you’ll reschedule. 
“Come on! This client’s been coming to us for years. We can’t lose her!” the manager pleads. 
“You can’t lose her. I’ll be just fine.”
Your lip curls in disgust as you hoist your bag over your aching shoulder. People book this guy months in advance? Whatever. You can just leave and call them later. But as you turn to walk out the door, you hear one last exchange.
“Ugh…how about this? I’ll give you a few extra days off next month.”
You pause mid-step. 
“…I want a week.”
“A week?”
“I’ve been working my fingers to the bone for you for God knows how long. I want a week, or I walk.”
Another long, heavy silence, but you’re still listening.
“…Fine. Fine. I’ll make it happen. Just go out there and be pleasant, alright?”
“I’m never anything but,” the gruff voice hums, and you can just barely hear the manager groan as the door flies open. The strap on your bag slides down your shoulder at the same moment, and you look down as you pull it back up with a grimace.
“You must be the one Rei stranded today. Nice to meet you. I’m—“
He freezes mid-sentence. When you finally look back up, you freeze, too.
“Toji…” you murmur.
You’ve lost count of the years it’s been since you and Toji Fushiguro parted ways. But you could go a century without seeing that face and still recognize it. The scar on his mouth, his fierce green eyes, his strong, chiseled frame…none of it’s really easy to forget.
But it’s his most unforgettable feature—his big, wolfish grin—that traps you in place when it’s clear he recognizes you, too.
“Well, well,” he croons, an irritating melody ringing in his voice as he holds the door open and extends his hand. “Come on back, ma’am. Last door on the left.”
You shuffle past him without so much as a “Thank you” and grip the strap of your bag tight. God, why did it have to be him? Out of all the people who could have walked out of that door, why him?
You step into the room he pointed you to and take it in with wide eyes. This is certainly a step up from your usual setup with Rei. It’s bigger, but the atmosphere is so much more intimate. Soft, ambient music drifts through the room. Candles flicker on select small tables lining the perimeter of the space, playing on the velvety flower petals artfully arranged on the floor and the massage table. It’s downright romantic.
But it’s the table itself, lying in the center of the room, that draws most of your attention. It’s plush and oversized, draped in crisp, clean linens and adorned with a fluffy duvet and a lavish pillow. It almost looks like it was made for sleeping instead.
And it looks…sturdy.
“So. Been a while since you up and vanished,” Toji says with little ceremony, shutting the door behind him. “What have you been—”
“So is this a sex thing? Is that what you do here?” you blurt out. He blinks at you, mouth falling slightly open, and crosses his arms.
“Wow. That’s the first thing you say to me in six years?” he rasps.
Six years. It’s been six long years. 
You blink back at him a few more times before you register what you just said, and you slap a hand to your mouth several seconds too late. 
“Uh—shit—” you stutter, your hand rising to slap your forehead. “I didn’t mean—” 
After some lengthy floundering, which he lets you do in perfect silence, your hands finally drop to your sides, and you heave a deep sigh.
“I just—this is a big bed—”
“You mean a massage table.”
“And apparently you’re the most requested guy here—”
“Because I’m a good massage therapist.”
“And you were a criminal the last time we talked!” you finish. Your voice rises a little more than you intended, and that goddamned knot in your shoulder spasms. You rub at it desperately and take a calming breath. 
Something like a low growl rumbles in Toji’s chest as he strolls over to the sink and washes his hands. 
“If I’m remembering correctly—and I am—you weren’t an upstanding citizen back then, either,” he flings back. He dries his hands, turns back around, and leans against the counter, looking you up and down. “At least my crimes were impressive.”
You set your bag on a nearby chair and scoff at him. “Yeah. So impressive I just couldn’t bear to live in your shadow anymore.”
“Cute,” he sneers. “You want the damn massage or not? Because you clearly need it.”
“Oh, like you can really tell—”
“Your right shoulder. That one’s obvious.” He pushes himself away from the counter and closes the distance between you with just a couple steps. “You keep rubbing at it like a maniac. But the way you’re standing right now tells me you have pain in your lower back, too. Right about…” He circles behind you, a shadow of a grin growing on his face before he disappears from your sight. You shiver when he rests a large, strong hand exactly where the small of your back hurts the most. “...Here.”
You spin back around and scowl at him. He holds his hands up in an innocent gesture.
“Yeah, those are my biggest problem areas,” you mutter. 
“Then let’s take care of ‘em,” he proposes, sauntering over to the door. “Believe it or not, I am a professional now. I take my clients seriously.”
His eyes glint when he turns the knob.
“Even petty thieves like you.”
Your blood pressure instantly shoots through the sky. 
“Don’t think I won’t—” you start, unsure of what vague threat you’re about to make, but he’s already halfway out the door.
“I’ll give you a few minutes to get undressed,” he nearly sings. “Start out face-down.”
And with that, he’s gone. The door shuts with a click, leaving every stupid knot in your back to tense up and scream even louder. You don’t even bother hanging your clothes on any of the hooks nearby, opting to pelt them to the floor instead. Infuriating. He’s infuriating. He’s every bit as infuriating as he was all those years ago, when you were just two delinquents among many wreaking havoc in town.
Back when you thought he was the sexiest, funniest, dreamiest guy on earth.
You smack some petals off the table before you settle under the sheets, lying on your stomach. Whatever. It’s not like the feeling was mutual. What did you even see in him back then, anyway? Other than the eyes and the muscles and the voice and the face and the—
Toji knocks on the door.
“You decent?” he calls from the other side. 
“No,” you sniff. “But I’m under the sheet. You can come in.”
He chuckles as he lets himself back in and promptly closes the door. You can only see his feet as he walks past you and stops at the counter, and he shakes a bottle.
“Alright. So, I know your shoulder and your lower back are your biggest problems right now, but I’ll find your other pressure points as we work,” he announces, instantly professional. “But first, I need to ask if you’ve got any areas I should avoid.”
“Nope,” you inform the floor. “It’s all up for grabs.”
He laughs again, and you curse yourself under your breath. What an atrocious choice of words. 
“Good to know,” he hums. Ugh. He sounds too pleased. 
Your heart skips as soon as he pulls the sheet down from your shoulders all the way to just above your backside. He gets straight to work, starting by feeling for tight areas.
“Yeesh. You’ve got trigger points all the way down your back,” he marvels. “It’s almost impressive.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” you sigh.
You have to admit it: even now, even as he just searches and assesses, his touch is divine. It must be thanks to those dexterous fingers, those powerful hands, his shocking familiarity with every part of the human body…
You squeeze your eyes shut in a desperate bid to push the thoughts out. Stupid. Stupid. What a stupid crush you had on him. You start talking just to fill your head with something, anything else.
“How’d you even fall into this line of work? It’s not—“ Your breath hitches when you hear him squeeze some oil onto his hands and rub them together. “It’s, um…just not a career path I ever thought you’d take.”
You can hear the grin in his response. “Would you believe me if I said I wanted to help people?”
You answer with some snorting laughter, which tells him enough.
“Thought not,” he sighs. “No point in lying, then.” His hands work their way to the rough spot on your shoulder, and you brace yourself. “Honestly? It’s good money. That’s all there is to it.”
“That I believe,” you answer, screwing your eyes shut when he starts working that knot. This is going to be a rough session, you just know it.
“Jesus, you’re tight,” he mumbles, genuine shock lining his voice. “What do you do these days?”
“I’m just an office worker,” you grunt. You take a deep breath when he digs in again. 
“An office worker and…what? A cage fighter? A trapeze artist? These are insane knots for an office worker.”
“I’ve got—phew—I’ve got really bad posture,” you mutter. You squirm under his movements. 
“Clearly. You must be hunched over 24/7.”
This time, you don’t answer him. Deep tissue massages can hurt, sure, but this is on a whole new level. You bear with him for about another minute before you wave him away.
“God, Toji, are all your clients masochists?!” you cry, glaring at the floor. You keep lying flat on your stomach, waiting for the pain to ebb away.
“…Some are,” he croons.
Your hands tense at your sides. “So it is—”
“I’m joking, damn,” he huffs. He switches to your other shoulder and, mercifully, handles it with a lot less pressure. “I mean, I’m sure some are. I wouldn’t know. People just come to me when they’ve got injuries and chronic issues. When it comes to that slow, painful deep tissue massage, I’m the best around.”
“Solving pain with pain,” you remark. He slides down to the middle of your back and digs into a spot just to the left of your spine. “That does sound right up your alley.”
“...I see you’ve still got a mouth on you,” he grumbles, and whether consciously or not, he pushes down especially hard. You suck in a breath and screw your eyes shut. “How’d you land a cushy office job with your attitude?”
“I learned when to keep my mouth shut,” you fight to answer, focusing on your breathing. “I was wondering the same thing about you, based on that conversation I heard in the hallway. Do you always talk to your managers like that?”
“Ha!” He pulls his hands away and rubs some more oil between them. “Only the ones who can’t afford to lose me. Business has been booming since I started here. And, damn, you should see the tips I get.”
“Tips?” you squawk, pushing yourself onto your elbows and staring up at him. “What do you mean, you get tips? What do you do to earn tips?”
“Um.”
Toji clears his throat and looks to the side. It’s only when he physically covers his eyes with his hand do you realize you pushed yourself so far up you nearly exposed your chest. 
“Oh. Sorry…” you mumble, flopping back down. Heat erupts on your skin. You’re really excelling at making an ass of yourself today.
“What’s with you?” he grunts. He presses a palm against that sore spot at the small of your back. “We’re allowed to accept tips here. Why are you so sure I’m just doing weird sex stuff?”
Before you can answer, he starts applying pressure to the spot. Lots of it. To your surprise, it actually feels…good. So in lieu of a response, you simply let out a groan that lasts a little too long. And just beneath it, just for a moment, you swear you can hear a pleased sound humming in him, too.
“Don’t tell me…” His thumbs rub the small of your back in slow, deep circles. “...you were hoping for it?”
Your eyes shoot open. But he pushes in again, granting you deeper relief, and you lose the will to snap back at him. Not when he’s finally easing all that tension.
“Are you disappointed I don’t offer any special services?”
“Gimme a break,” you manage to say. But that’s all you say before his hands slide down to your glutes. Over the sheet, of course, like a professional, and he’s stroking them like any professional massage therapist would. But that doesn’t change the fact that, in a less professional sense…his hands are still on your ass.
“Well, I don’t blame you,” he boasts. He slides a little lower. He’s…really working those glutes. “I know why I really get so many requests. I know why my tips are so great. I mean, just look at me—”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you spit, wriggling out of his hands and flipping onto your back. You’re careful to keep the sheet over your chest this time. “I heard enough of that for a lifetime back in the day.”
“Hey. I’m not done with your back,” he pouts, frowning at you.
“Can we come back to it later? You’re gonna break it at this rate.”
“Coulda just asked me to be gentler.” He lifts the sheet away from your left leg and takes your foot in his hand. “I can do that.” 
As if to prove his point, he uses a single thumb to gently stroke the inside of your arch. Exactly where it aches after a long day in heels. How did he know that was a sore spot, too?
“I listen to my clients,” he continues, stretching out your foot and sliding up your leg. He starts kneading the lowest part of your thigh, just above the knee. “Another reason why I end the day with so much extra cash.”
“I get it,” you mutter. “You have an awesome job and you make lots of money because you’re super hot. Congratulations.”
“Super hot, huh?” he whirs. “I mean, I know, but it’s nice to hear from that mouth you allegedly know how to keep shut.”
“Ugh.” You desperately try to focus your attention on the soothing motions of his fingers. “Can’t believe I used to have such a big crush on you.”
For a moment, for a fleeting, measly fraction of a second, his hands jerk. Then they pick back up as usual, gliding a little farther up your thigh. It takes him a few seconds to answer.
“Did you, now?”
Your brows furrow, but you keep your eyes closed.
“C’mon, Toji, it was so obvious,” you sigh. “There’s no way you didn’t know.”
“I really didn’t,” he says flatly. His fingers dig a little deeper into your skin. “We ran with a big group, remember? I…didn’t get to see you as much as I wanted to.”
You shift a bit under his touch. “As much as you wanted to?”
“...See? You didn’t know I had a thing for you, either.” 
His fingers linger on your thigh, rubbing the same spot over and over. Finally, you open your eyes. You sit up to rest on your elbows and look right at him. And in the dim, flickering candlelight, you take a moment to really study his face for the first time in six years. 
Six years that haven’t done much to age him, really. His jaw is still strong and sharp. The deep scar etched into his lip still hasn’t faded. His hands, which you’ve become very familiar with today, are still powerful, with veins and tendons that ripple just beneath the skin, with fingertips calloused but not rough. And his muscles are still toned and strong, if that tight black t-shirt has anything to say about it. 
“Well. What could have been, right?” you murmur. You glance to the side and let your head fall back onto the table; you can’t bear to hold eye contact any longer. 
After a long, tense moment, he pulls the sheet back over your left leg and moves to your other side.
“...Yeah. What could’ve been.”
He moves up your leg the same way he did the first, every knead and stroke therapeutic, but something feels different about his touch. It’s more…clinical. Truly professional now. Like you’re just any other client.
You fight the sinking feeling in your chest. The fact that he never showed he was interested in you stings a little, but that doesn’t matter anymore. There’s a reason you left the way you did. Toji wasn’t good for you, and you weren’t good for him. Nobody in that group you ran with was good for each other. You had to leave while you were still just a petty thief. Before you started racking up “impressive” crimes like him.
Toji’s still quiet as he pulls the sheet back over your legs and moves to the head of the table, settling on a rolling chair and scooting forward. You open your eyes again but look at nothing in particular. You don’t know what to look at. You don’t know what to say.
His hands slide under your shoulders, searching for that especially tight spot again. The moment he finds it, he digs in. You clench your teeth and bear it. Working out a knot can hurt. He’s doing his job. Just let him do his job. Just let him—
“Why’d you leave?”
Your eyes fly back open. His hands haven’t stopped working, but they have slowed.
“What?” you squeak.
“Why did you leave?” he repeats. You glance up and find him staring right back down at you, those deep green eyes glimmering even in the dim light. “Why did you just up and leave like that? No note, no nothin’?”
“Because…” You take a deep breath. It’s been a while since you’ve thought about those days. “Because I just couldn’t keep going like that. I couldn’t keep spending every day scoping out targets, planning which stores I’d hit next. I had to get out and make something of myself. I did it, and…look, you did it, too.”
“But why did you leave like that?” he carries on, his voice tinged with something close to desperation. “Why did you just disappear? Do you know how much that killed me? To just lose you like that, overnight, no explanation?”
You fight against a new sensation in your chest. It’s something rising, growing, gnawing. 
“Because if I’d said anything, you would’ve tried to make me stay,” you answer. 
“I couldn’t sleep at night wondering what happened to you.”
“You were the only one who could have made me stay.”
“When I could sleep, you were in my dreams.”
“You never needed me, Toji! You didn’t need me then, and you don’t need me now!”
“Fuck you for thinking that. And fuck you for just leaving.”
“Fuck you for making me think you wouldn’t care!”
He doesn’t respond to you before he flies to his feet, takes a breath, and walks back to the other end of the table.
“Lie back,” he says. “We’re not done with your massage.”
“Huh?”
“Lie back,” he repeats. “I’ve got some more pressure points to work out.”
“Uh…alright?” you mutter, and slowly, you settle back onto the table and stare at the ceiling. Goosebumps rise on your skin when he pulls the sheet back from one leg again, lifting it all the way to the top of your thigh this time. He squeezes some more oil onto his hands and rests his palm on your knee.
“Did you know you’ve got a lot of tension down here, too?” he asks, his voice low. 
“I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me. I’m tense everywhere.”
“You really are,” he confirms with a soft laugh. “Like…when I was massaging your legs, I kept feeling you tense up when I got around…” His fingers snake their way to your inner thigh. “Here.”
You suck in a breath. “Well, that’s a sensitive area, so…”
And you’re sure you’re tensing up now. But the heated exchange you just shared is still ringing in your ears. That would leave anyone tense, right? 
And it’s normal for your legs to part when they’re tense…right?
Your other leg has only moved a few inches away. But it’s a shift big enough for Toji to notice, and he glances down with a smirk.
“Is it, now?” he purrs. His fingers crawl a little higher up your leg. “Sensitive here, too?”
“Uh-huh…” you murmur, gripping the sheet below you. He’s reaching pretty far up. If he keeps going, it won’t be long before he finds out just how sensitive you’ve been from the moment he started touching you.
But you don’t stop him. You don’t want to.
“And how about—” he starts, but he stops himself when his thumb swipes across one part of your inner thigh a little too quickly. Like it slipped on something slick. 
Your eyes shoot over to him. Well, secret’s out now. But still…you were dripping that far down your leg? That’s almost embarrassing.
His expression, though, suggests he doesn’t think so.
“Oh…” he whispers with a heavy voice, a strained voice, a voice that tells you all professionalism just flew out the window. “I think I know where you’re holding a lot of tension.”
Your heart flutters when his fingers dance their way up to the source of all that tension, when his knuckles graze it with all the pressure of a feather. It starts to ache the same way it did for him years ago, when you thought he never had eyes for you.
“Think you can help me with it?” you invite, parting your legs a little wider.
That little smirk grows into the same wolfish grin he first greeted you with. One finger, one long, strong finger, circles your entrance and slides in. You’re melting and moaning in the same moment, relishing the new ferocity lighting up his eyes.
“I think I can,” he breathes, sliding his finger in and out, up and down. “A special service just for you, since you’re just so damn—” Another finger slips in to join the first. “—tight.”
He waits until he’s up to his palm before he curls both fingers upward, searching for that spot, the source of all that pressure inside you. It takes him all of a second to find it. He beckons back and forth, up and down. He spreads his fingers ever so slightly, settling on a pressure that commands all your attention to that area.
You whimper and close your eyes. There’s so much you want to say. You want to find out where he learned to do that. You want to tease him, ask him how much he’s practiced. But this moment would be better spent, you remind yourself, simply enjoying this instead. So you part your legs a little wider and let him demonstrate just how well he’s learned to use his hands.
He leans forward just far enough to let you glue your hands to his shoulders. As he does, his other hand comes down to push just above your pelvis, his palm grazing your clit, and that tension rises higher and higher.
Then he leans in a little more. Every flicker of the candles reveals a new detail you’d missed in his face before. Every night of sleep he lost. Every day he thought of you. Every test he faced to make something more of himself, just like you did. Your hands work their way up to cradle either side.
And that’s it.
His lips are on yours, and his fingers pump faster. You claim each other in a kiss six years overdue, a kiss so desperate and needy and vicious it nearly consumes you. His tongue finds its way into your mouth and explores it freely. His teeth dig into your lower lip, a gesture as rough as his massage, but it brings you nothing but pleasure.
Pleasure that grows and grows and grows with all that tension he’s working out of you, so close to releasing. Your eyes start to flutter; your nails sink into his shoulders; your walls clench tighter and tighter.
“There it is,” he murmurs, encouraging you to keep going. “Let it loose. Let it out. Let me feel you let it out.”
The palm he’d left on your stomach presses down a little harder, condensing all that pressure into a volatile ball. His fingers beckon your pleasure forward quickly, deftly, and you writhe when you feel your tension threaten to release all at once.
And it releases like an explosion, knocking your head back and pushing your back up from the table. You try to buck your hips, but his hold on your pelvis is so strong that you ride out your ecstasy between his hands instead. Your walls convulse around his fingers uncontrollably, which he holds in place until your tumultuous release fades to gentle ripples.
And when those, too, die down, he captures your lips in another greedy kiss.
“How’s that tension?” he asks with a sly grin.
“Hmm…” You hold a finger to your chin and pretend to think. “Better, but I think there’s still some left.”
Your eyes flick down to his pants, which do little to hide what kind of tension he might be feeling now, too.
“If you’re still up for helping me work it out, I mean,” you add, letting the rest of the sheet fall from your chest. He allows himself a brazen, longing glance at it before he stands back up and pulls his fingers out, making you jerk. 
“For such an important new client? Of course,” he hums. And like he just can’t help himself, he’s already slipping a thumb under the waistband of his pants. “If you could just get face-down again, ma’am.”
You giggle and flip back onto your stomach, tossing the rest of the sheet to the floor. Toji lets out a low whistle of appreciation when he finally sees you completely uncovered. 
“Goddamn,” he mutters. And that table proves just as sturdy as you imagined when it barely even jostles as he joins you on it, pushing your legs apart and settling between them on his knees. His hands roam across your body, drawing hard lines between your shoulders, down your back, up and across and around your ass. You turn your face to one side and rest it against the plush table, enjoying every movement of his skilled fingers.
“Goddamn, goddamn,” he repeats, just to really drive the point home. He keeps one hand on your ass while the other pulls itself away. A couple fingers slide up and down your slit, just long enough to make it tingle, and then…he’s lined up with your entrance. A wave of anticipation ripples through you, emerging only as a faint shiver.
“So. Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna push down and push in,” he says, palming the small of your back. “Still gotta work out those knots, after all.”
“Wow. Truly dedicated to your craft,” you snicker. 
“Like I said, I’m a professional. Now, breathe in…”
“Huh? Why?”
“Just do it. Breathe in…”
You look back at him with a raised brow, but you do as he says and take in a deep breath.
“And out…”
You breathe out a lot more quickly than you were planning to when you start feeling pressure everywhere. His thumbs are digging into your back, stroking it in even circles. But he’s pushing into you at the same time, filling you out slowly, completely. The arousal that’s practically pooled inside of you lets him slide in easily, but it still takes a second to adjust to his size. Your face falls back onto the crisp linen sheet beneath you, your eyes closing and your lips parting as you embrace that delectable fullness.
“Good?” he asks behind you once he’s fully buried in you, and one hand slides back down to grab your ass. 
“Very good,” you confirm.
You and Toji groan in tandem when he pulls his hips back, dragging himself slowly along your walls, and pushes back in. The moment you relax around him, he thrusts a little faster. And faster, and faster, and faster, until he has to secure a hold on your hips. 
What a pro, you think to yourself with a smirk. How did he know? How did he know this was just the pressure you needed?
“Just when I was starting to forget about you,” he growls, snapping back against your hips. He doesn’t spare a single inch every time he drives himself back into you. Your jostle forward and bunch what you can of the sheets between your trembling fingers. “I was just starting to forget you, and you had to go and waltz back into my life. That’s just like you.”
Your answer barely comes out as anything more than a few pathetic whimpers. “Then maybe this time—fuck—you shouldn’t—”
His fingers bury themselves in your hips.
“Let me—”
He leans forward until his chest meets your back, his hot breath tickling the nape of your neck. His rhythm starts to falter.
“Go.”
Your words must spark some new flame in him. Because he’s pounding into you mercilessly now, driving deep inside you and hitting that perfect spot again and again. You whimper, you mewl, you muffle your groans against the pillow, and your walls start to flutter around his cock.
“You think I’ll let you go now?” he snarls, a low, rumbling sound that reverberates through your skin. “No. Not now. Not when I’ve finally got you like I’ve always wanted you.”
He plants ravenous, messy kisses against your neck. His teeth graze your shoulder, threatening to clamp down and make good on his claim.
Shit. You’re getting close again. Your groans rise until he has to hold a hand against your mouth. 
And you know you should keep it down, lest you ruin this good job he’s landed for himself. But you can’t stop a wordless cry from trying to push its way through his palm when that tension shatters inside you again, releasing wave after wave of ecstasy. He shudders and hisses behind you, his hips snapping and jerking and stuttering until he pulls out of you. His release lands on your back a moment later.
For a few seconds, neither of you say anything or move a muscle. You simply soak in the afterglow six years in the making, your ragged breaths overpowering the soft, ambient music. Then Toji finally breaks the silence with a simple remark: 
“Fuck.”
“Fuck,” you agree.
You stay on your stomach, eyes closed, as he pushes himself off the massage table and pulls his pants back on. 
“Just a sec,” he mumbles. You simply nod, lying motionless where you are as he wipes his mess off your back. “And…hour’s almost up. I’d like to keep working out your knots all day, believe me, but I do have a client coming in.”
You blink your eyes back open. For a moment, you wonder if you should say what’s on your mind. If this one-time reunion should stay a one-time reunion. But with or against your better judgment, you decide to voice what you really want, instead.
“I’ll just have to come back for another session, then, right?”
You flip back over and sit up to find him already grinning at you.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he chuckles as he finishes buckling his belt. He steps up to you and takes your face in his hands, rubbing a soothing thumb across your cheek. His eyes flick to your lips, and he steals one more long, hard, greedy kiss before he takes the dirty towel with him to the door. “...I’ll give you a minute to get dressed.”
When he shuts the door, you hop off the table onto shaky legs and fumble to put your clothes back on. You comb your fingers through your hair and adjust your skirt, ready to face the world after a truly satisfying…massage.
The manager’s still sitting at the front desk when you walk back into the waiting room. She looks up from her computer and greets you with a big smile.
“Wow, you look happy!” she pipes up. “I take it Toji took good care of you?”
“Yeah,” you say, hoisting your bag back onto your shoulder. Funny. He didn’t spend that much time on it, but it already feels so much lighter. “I feel great.”
Toji appears in the doorway, wiping his hands on a new towel, smirking at you and leaning against the frame.
“I’m so glad to hear that! So, did you want to—”
“Book her for next week,” Toji says so nonchalantly, like he’s just finished up an average session. The manager beams at you, clearly pleased that their center could make it up to you after their blunder today. Toji looks right at you, too, when he shares another note.
“She’s gonna be one of my regulars.”
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bri-the-nautilus · 3 months
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Come To the Dark Side, We Have Hot Guys: A Star Wars Story
Spoilers below for S1 of Ahsoka and the first six episodes of The Acolyte.
I'm writing this with The Acolyte most of the way through airing its first season, with episode 6 having released earlier today. Say what you will about the show, but it's really brought out a lot of the uglier sides of the Star Wars fandom. Everyone and their mother has seen videos or Reddit threads dunking on the Critical Drinker or SWT and their mouth-breathing misogynist audiences at this point, so I don't feel particularly compelled to retread that ground. Instead, I want to talk about the... other side of the fandom, the hypocrisy therein, and how we're all being played for absolute fools by the creative team at Disney Lucasfilm.
Yes, this post is about Qimir.
Now I want to say that I have no problem with villain simping/shipping. Far from it. Most of my posts on this account are me simping for Shin Hati (we'll talk more about her later) or various Soulsborne bosses. Hell, my mutuals and I have a running joke about me having a weakness for evil blonde women. While I personally am too gay for my own good and couldn't care less about men as a concept, I absolutely see the appeal of characters like Qimir and Kylo Ren. I absolutely get why people thirst over them and love making fandom content for them. I think Qimir/Osha has the potential to be a really fun ship, actually. The point I'm making here is not "simping for these characters is wrong and bad," and I want to make that crystal clear before we continue.
That said, let's talk about Qimir, and how the landscape of the show and its surrounding discourse has changed since his reveal. Again, I'm ignoring the chud sphere here, partly because their little corner of the Internet has remained remarkably stagnant since then. The podcast bros still think it's woke, fucking Shadiversity is still whining about fight choreography (which as someone who actually has done HEMA/stage combat, Shad annoys me to no end, but that's an entirely separate can of worms), and it all seems to be business as usual over there. No, the most marked changes have been on the Acolyte-positive end of the fandom space. Here's what the top posts in "hashtag TheAcolyte" on Twitter look like tonight:
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You get the idea.
Again, no hate to any of these people. This is tumblr ffs, we've all engaged in a little simping for a morally dubious hot person. I love seeing fans having fun engaging with something, and again I kinda dig the Osha/Qimir ship.
Anyways, if you were around for the Acolyte-positive discourse before the Qimir reveal, and especially the show's marketing and the reponse to that, you'll have noticed a marked difference.
Fans quickly began to see The Acolyte as " the gayest Star Wars ever." Showrunner Leslye Headland is an out lesbian, and her wife was cast as Master Vernestra Rwoh. Archetypical girlboss Carrie-Anne Moss was cast as Master Indara, immediately drawing comparisons to her role in the Matrix movies. Leads Osha and Mae Aniseya are played by the nonbinary Amandla Stenberg. The lesbian witches of Brendok were talked about in press releases before the show aired. Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon) stated in an interview that she portrayed the short-haired, serious Theelin as having a crush on Osha, something that fans were picking up on in their first interactions in the premiere before Keen even gave that interview. While Headland said in a post-premiere interview that she didn't set out specifically to make "a capital Q Queer show," it's an objective fact that no Star Wars movie/show has had as much potential in that area, and fans (especially the queer community) took notice. (For what it's worth, in the same interview Headland commented that she was proud of creating something that so many queer fans identified with.)
The show came out, and Master Indara was killed off in the first sequence, which I'm honestly fine with. It was a good scene and works on a lot of levels. Headland's aforementioned interview came and went. Episode three aired. The lesbian witches turned out to be even gayer than was previously thought possible, and people ate that shit up while the Critical Drinker's brain suffered a major cascade failure. Jecki became a runaway favorite in the premiere and episode four, as did lovable himbo Yord Fandar and the wise, paternalistic Master Sol. In Acolyte-positive circles, this was basically how it went. People thought Brendok was cool, the Yord Horde became the show's biggest social media sensation, Jecki and Sol cultivated devoted followings alongside Osha and Mae, there were a wealth of different ships involving various combinations of Jecki, Yord, and the twins... you get the idea.
Then episode 5 happened.
The writing was really on the wall when the Brendok coven was abruptly wiped out. Introducting such an interesting (and queer) Force-wielding culture only to exterminate them in the same episode was certainly a choice that somebody made. But episode 5 was a shock to the system for many fans, as the show's resident Sith revealed himself and killed Jecki and Yord in some of the most brutal recent onscreen deaths in Star Wars. To be clear, I think this was a great sequence. Two beloved main characters being suddenly and gruesomely killed off was a masterfully executed shock to the system, especially after viewers were lulled into a false sense of security by all the redshirt deaths in the previous scene.
This, understandably, completely changed the landscape of the Acolyte fandom. Virtually overnight, much of the simping and shipping involving Jecki and Yord dried up, and once the dust had settled as far as the "rip blorbo, gone too soon" posts went, what remained were the usual Sol/twins offerings and a wave of Qimir hype. Which is understandable. He's a badass emo Sith boy with a cool helmet who brutally murdered fan favorite characters in front of us and has palpable tension with the female lead. Who wouldn't love... wait a minute.
This feels familiar somehow.
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But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?
And just like that, "the gayest Star Wars" is all about the (straight) sexual tension between an edgy, murderous Sith boy and a light-side girl plagued by dark thoughts whose friends said boy just killed. This is all eerily similar to how the Sequel Trilogy focused on Rey and Kylo while abruptly dropping Finn and Poe's character arcs. Even the fandom discourse is the same. I mean Reylo was so ubiquitous back in the day that it became a derogatory catch-all for good girl/evil boy shipping. Multiple authors now have either gotten their initial start/fame writing Reylo fics, or straight up published legally distinct Reylo fiction after the fashion of Netflix's After. You had the occasional person piping up to say "hey they kind of just left Finn and Poe hanging after TFA, it would've been cool if they got together but at the very least don't relegate them to being side characters/comic relief in separate story threads," and that was it. The same thing is going on with The Acolyte now, only the sequel trilogy wasn't marketed on the strength of being a queer story by a queer creative team. The Acolyte is, which makes it all the more baffling that by the midway point of the first season, all the gays have been buried and the show seems to be heading straight for Reylo 2: High Republic Boogaloo. And the fans are eating it up.
As an interesting aside, I think it's an interesting exercise to contrast the Kylo/Qimir pattern with the broader fandom's treatment of Shin Hati (told you we'd circle back to that), and the ship between her and Sabine Wren. On paper, Shin is very similar to Kylo and Qimir. Villain? Check. Edgy-looking armor? Totes. Emotionally damaged/stunted in some way? Sure looks like it. Tension with the heroine? You betcha. If anything, the only major difference is that Shin isn't as evil as the others. Compare her actions in Ahsoka (clearing out part of a light cruiser with Baylan and making repeated attempts on Sabine's life) to Kylo (oversees multiple war crimes, kills his fan-favorite dad) or Qimir (orchestrates the murders of several Jedi before brutally executing two fan-favorite characters). She's definitely bad, but I struggle to see her as on par with Qimir, let alone fucking Kylo, in terms of evilness.
Which makes it all the more interesting to me that the Shin/Sabine ship has received so much more mainstream skepticism/criticism than the Osha/Qimir or Rey/Kylo ships. "They have no chemistry!" "She's an evil murderer!" "She's a blank slate!" "Sabine is taken!" I may be a touch biased, but from where I sit a large part of the fandom, even the ostensibly progressive side, seems to look down upon Shin/Sabine shippers while swooning for heterosexual variants with far more evil villains.
This isn't a monolith, and I can't stress that enough. I'm not trying to start shit here. Villain shipping is awesome. We support women's wrongs in this house. You do see the occasional person decrying Reylo or Osha/Qimir as toxic, which I think is fairly unnecessary. Like yeah, maybe it's a toxic dynamic, but these are fictional characters. For these specific characters, part of the crowd appeal is the toxic badboy side of things. I don't think we should really spend much energy attacking any fictional ship (between adults, mind you) as toxic, which is why it puzzles me that an as-yet-unconfirmed lesbian ship in a niche show receives such a large proportion of this sort of criticism compared to the canon relationship between two main characters of a blockbuster trilogy.
At the end of the day, this whole affair has been rather sobering for me on both Disney Lucasfilm and the Star Wars fandom. For all the support the Shin/Sabine ship has received from Ahsoka cast members Ivanna Sakhno (Shin), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger, the other character people like to ship with Sabine), and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka), I'm rather sour on the prospects of it becoming canon. The sequel trilogy dropped the ball on what many saw as a promising chance for an MLM romance between Finn and Poe in favor of trotting out the "why do good girls like bad boys" dynamic, and The Acolyte, "the gay show" overseen by a lesbian, has seemingly shifted to center a similar dynamic after killing off most of its prospects for a queer relationship among the main cast. Simply put, I think that Disney as an international company based in the frighteningly divided United States is reluctant to commit to anything beyond lipservice in terms of LGBT representation in their movies/shows, which again doesn't leave me feeling optimistic about WolfWren's canon potential. And the fandom takes the bait. People love the damaged evil badboy/good girl dynamic, and when the queer fandom suggests the possibility of a queer ship taking center stage in a show with no other extant relationships, even the more progressive side of the fandom tends to either ignore it or actively push back on its basis in reality until Disney Lucasfilm inevitably puts the kibosh on it. The amount of times I've heard people dismiss WolfWren for the same reasons they now like Osha/Qimir and liked Reylo (before that ship was fleshed out/canonicalized, anyway) is ridiculous, but at the end of the day you kinda feel stupid for expecting anything else. Again, I think Qimir is a cool character and I'm as much of a sucker for villain romances as the next girlie, but seeing how easily the fandom lets dangling heterosexual carrots lead it away from Disney Lucasfilm's broken promises of queer rep is a sobering ordeal.
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