#actual tears in my eyes

[goingdownorup]

I’M LOSING IT AT ETHO, WHY DID HE SAY THAT???

[nebjamin]

SHINJI NO

[adhd-merlin]

throwing up

[absolutelybifurious]

the thing is im usually allllll for putting eddie in the torture nexus, its actually my favorite favorite thing, but it hits so different when its chris. when its the person eddie has tried so hard for again and again and again. when its this thing he's poured his entire soul and life and being into for YEARS to try and Not Fail His Kid. when its now his kid being merciless in punishing him. now the same kid is ghosting him for this one mistake that also hurt eddie terribly.

and i get it isnt out of place for a teen to do something like this, bc their emotions are so big, but can someone CALL THAT OUT? can someone be like yeah hes taking this a bit far lets maybe put a stop to it??? but eddie's parents are just ignoring eddie and letting this Angry Teenager uproot his entire life and break his dads heart while eddie is powerless to do anything about it because he, once again, so desperately, wants just to be a good father. but he actually kind of isnt being one because he doesnt value himself enough to be like oh hey, wait, you're actually being unfair. we need to discuss this. he can't teach chris that running and being selfish and icing people out is Not Healthy because that would mean prioritizing his own hurt over this months-long temper tantrum christopher is having. and it would be great if this arc ended in a way that addresses THAT.

and if no one's gonna explain this to chris, i just need someone to explain it to eddie, i really desperately need someone to actually comfort EDDIE. i need someone to tell him, or at least acknowledge, that it wasn't completely his fault. that he tried to stop it before it affected chris. that he did the right thing but then got ambushed by kim. or even that the whole kim thing must have Hurt Him Too. like someone just hold him or talk to him or ANYTHING in a way that isn't wow you really hurt christopher huh :(

but i honestly can't tell where they're going with it bc its been one episode. i just know i, like christopher and eddie, am having Big Feelings and DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS THEM.

there's so much potential and im tentatively excited but also hahahahasf i would like this particular torture nexus to end immediately. this is a kind of emotional horror that might actually give me heart damage. christopher diaz get over yourself and go home.

im really hoping all this leads to a VERY heartwarming reunion because if it does not then i have beef with a fictional thirteen year old im so serious. (also the diaz parents but i've had beef with them so.)

[somnas-writes]

Zac portraying the struggle in having two very different sides in ur life and not knowing how to balance them… Mr oyama yoy will be sent my therapy bill

[lgbtiba]

THEY CHANGED HIS NAME TO FUCKING FRUMP IN THE MERCH

[wizardnaturalist]

ZERXUS?????

[arcane-vagabond]

I’m sure it’s already been requested but IF it hasn’t I’ll be needing the jail scene from Jake’s POV ASAP 👀

You know, surprisingly enough, you're the only one crazy enough to ask for a different point of view for all the angst lmaooooo

The tapping of Ice's fingers against the desk was going to drive him insane. Jake knew the older man was livid with him, why wouldn't he be? He had done a stupid thing like going and getting caught by the U.S. Marshal of all people.

It was no secret that the marshal was sent in to Maverick with the express purpose of catching the Dagger Posse. They had made quite the name for themselves after the rash of stagecoach robberies they had committed last summer. Times had been hard, and Jake would be damned if the people of Maverick didn't eat.

It was also no secret that Tom "Iceman" Kazansky had a soft spot for the posse, namely Jake. Where Bradley had had Maverick to take over as his father after the epidemic, it had been Ice who had taken the young Jake under his wing - had shown him what it means to be a man.

He knew this was the end of the line for him, there was no doubt about it. Mav and Ice had warned them all over and over again to keep their heads down and to lay low. One more slip up, one more law broken, and they'd be hanged should the Marshal catch them. And it had been quiet, unsuspecting Bob Floyd who had taken the bait.

Jake couldn't fault him for that, of course. He doubted he'd have faired much better if it had been you who the men at the saloon had been speaking ill of. Rage coated his tongue at the very thought, quickly replaced by anguish.

You, his Scout. His spitfire of a woman who never took any of his shit. Who cooked for him and made sure he was taking care of himself, even if he was being a jackass. His beautiful, brave girl who loved him.

Jake was so lost in thought that he barely caught Tom turning to the marshal.

"You look tired, Beau," he drawled, his tapping ceasing. "Why don't you go and have a drink down at the saloon?"

"I wouldn't want to leave you alone..."

"Nonsense! Go on and get something. You have a long day ahead of you come sunrise."

Jake heard a chair scrape against the wood floor followed by some shuffling around the room.

"I shouldn't be too long," Beau said, voice sounding farther away.

"Take your time!" Tom called back, his chair creaking as he leaned back. The door to the jail opened and then closed with a slam, leaving the room in silence.

Jake rested his head against the wall of his cell, eyes close and waiting for Tom to get up and begin lecturing him like he always does. But it doesn't come.

Instead, the door opened once more, creaking slowly.

"You shouldn't be here, darlin'," Tom says after a moment, an underlying sense of mirth in his tone. One that Jake knew he only had when he was caught off guard.

"Where is he?"

Jake's eyes shot open as he lurched forward.

"Scout?" He called tentatively. He could see your figure peer around where Tom now stood.

"Are you sure you're ready to see him like this?" He asked quietly. You drew your shoulders back in an attempt at defiance, but Jake saw you. He always saw you. He saw how scared you were, how desperate.

What were you thinking coming here? This was no place for you, and he'd be damned if you ever set foot in this place again.

"Please." Jake's heart nearly broke right then and there at the sound of the small tremble in your voice. "Please let me see him."

Tom watched you for a second before gesturing for you to go forward. "You have five minutes, Scout."

Jake scrambled to his feet as you entered the back room, the chains around his wrists and ankles hindering some of his movements.

Jake's heart truly broke when he saw the tears begin to slide down your face. Once again they were because of him, and he hated himself like never before in that moment. You should never have to cry. You should only ever smile, he thought.

A sob tore through you as you stumbled forward, and Jake reached out to catch you as best he could. He eased the both of you down onto the ground as sob after sob racked your body, tears staining his shirt with guilt.

“Please don’t cry, Scout,” he soothed, pressing firm kisses to the top of your head. He wished he had more time. “Everything is okay.”

“It’s not okay,” you sobbed pitifully. “It’s not, so don’t tell me that it is.”

“These things happen, honey girl,” he sighed, holding you tighter, afraid that this was all just a dream made up to torment him in his final hours. An angel sent down to comfort him before he was sent to hell. “You wanna tell me what you’re doing here?”

You pulled back to look at him, eyes red and puffy from crying. Tears slowly streamed down your face, and still you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen on this earth.

“It was Isaac, Jake. It was all a setup. I saw him in the crowd this morning. He planned the whole thing," you murmured, lips pressing into a thin line to keep from trembling.

Jake felt shame and guilt clench at his heart. None of this would have ever happened if he had just been smarter about what he had done in the past. You wouldn't be clinging to him like the very action of letting him go would kill him on the spot. You wouldn't be shaking with anguish. You wouldn't be utterly destroyed come tomorrow.

"I know."

You balked, staring up at him with unsure eyes, brow furrowing.

“What do you mean?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper. Jake sighed again, resting his forehead against one of the bars, not able to bare looking at your face.

“I saw him too,” he admitted, eyes closing.

“We have to do something, Jake! We have to tell them that this was-” You cried, turning to move away, but he grabbed your hand to stop you. You turned back to him, and Jake felt the sting of tears kiss at his eyes as he looked at you. He pulled you back, his rough hands cradling the soft skin of your cheeks as he stared at you. You were everything he ever wanted in life, and it seemed that the price for that fulfillment was his final breath.

“There’s no time, pretty girl,” he murmured, anguish coating his own words. “There’s just no time left.”

“Don’t say that,” you whispered, tears starting anew. Jake stroked your cheeks, catching the stray tears as they fell. He never wanted things to end like this. He wanted you to know, and now was his only chance to say it.

“Scout, these past few months have been the happiest of my life. I never thought I’d meet a spitfire like you, let alone get someone like you to love me. I have loved every minute spent with you. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you’re mad. I love when you yell at me when I’m being an idiot. I love when you smile at me when you think I’m not lookin’. I love how you feel in my arms and how completely happy you make me feel.”

“Why does this sound like you’re saying goodbye?” You asked him, a sob shaking your entire body. “You’re not dying on me. If you die, I die, you understand me?”

Jake smiled ruefully at you. His smart, strong girl. You'd make a wonderful wife one day. You'd make someone else happy, and maybe one day you'd be happy again too. That's all he ever wanted for you, and if he had any power in the afterlife, he'd see to it that you got the life you deserved. He hoped you'd remember him.

He reached into his pocket, searching for the token that he'd carried around since spotting it in a shop in Baltimore. He pulled it out, presenting it to you.

It wasn't anything in your face like the emerald or other jewels that he had seen. No, it was plain in comparison, but still beautiful. He supposed it reminded him a little of you. You had seemed so unassuming at first glance, beautiful yes, but a quiet thing. Then, the more he looked, the more complex and intricate you became, just like the gold bands of the pendant. You shined in a way that drew people in, making them want to look longer.

“I know that it’s not the emerald,” he started, “but it’s all I could afford with the money I had leftover from working at the ranch.”

You stared at it, eyes darting around as you took it in.

"I don't want it."

Jake's heart clenched at your words. Had you finally come to your senses and realized that you deserved better than him?

“Jake Seresin,” you said firmly, fixing him with a scowl. “You promised to make an honest woman out of me, and I’ll be damned if I let you worm your way out of keeping that promise, do you hear me?”

He couldn't help but to chuckle, resting his head on his forearms. That's what you were thinking about in this moment? Didn't you understand what was happening?

“Honey girl, what on earth am I supposed to do with this necklace now?”

“You can give it to me when you get out of here,” you sniffed, eyes tracing over the lines on his face. “You can give it to me, and then you and I are going to grow old together.”

All humor left him at your words. How could you still think that that future was possible in this moment? Surely you were joking? Surely you knew that this was the end?

Still, Jake couldn't help but imagine what his future with you would look like.

You'd look beautiful in your wedding dress, he was sure of it. White was becoming more popular, but would you choose a different color Blue or green? He kind of liked the idea of you wearing white, and the more he thought about it, the more he was sure that was the color you'd choose.

He thought about what you'd look like round and swollen with him, a baby made up of the two of you resting in your stomach until one day it was resting in your arms. He kind of liked the idea of having a little girl first, but so long as the baby was healthy and strong, he wouldn't complain.

And then you'd have more children, the house echoing with the sounds of laughter and running as he came in from the pastures for the day. Would he build you a new house? Or would he convince Benji to let him have the one you lived in now? No, he'd build you a new one. One fit for a queen.

You'd swat at his hand with that scowl he loved so much every time he'd sneak a bite of dinner before it was ready to be served. He'd kiss your cheek affectionately and tell you that it tasted perfect as always, smoothing a hand down your back.

He'd sleep next to you every night, laying in bed until the last possible second until he inevitably had to get up in the morning. And then he'd stay even longer when you would reach out for him.

He'd reassure you of how beautiful you still were even with those pesky grey hairs that now littered your head. Really, he think you'd look even more beautiful with age, the evidence of your life etched into your skin. He would trace every wrinkle with love and adoration.

The two of you would watch your grandchildren play in the yard, holding hands as you rocked in the chairs Jake would hand carve. His thumb would smooth over the back of your weathered hand, squeezing it as his thoughts drifted towards the life you two had shared.

Jake knew that the two of you would have to leave this world at the same time. You would be wrapped up in each other, breathing your last at the same moment before walking hand in hand through those pearly gates in the sky, young as the day you two had met.

He couldn't bare the thought of living in this world without you.

And yet, here he was about to leave you in a world without him in it.

He looked up when Tom cleared his throat, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Your time is up, Scout,” he said quietly, gently. “The marshal will be back any moment.”

You nodded, looking back at Jake before pulling him into desperate, tender kiss. He kissed you back with just as much fervor and passion, the tears coming back with a vengeance.

It wasn't fair. He didn't want to leave you. He wanted to grow old with you, side by side and facing anything that life threw at the two of you. He wanted to watch you laugh and smile at him every day. He wanted to feel your skin pressed against his. He wanted everything you would give him. He just got you back, and now he had to say goodbye.

Jake didn't want to die. He wanted to live. With you.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, helping you stand from the wooden floor. He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and you raised a hand to brush it away. He caught your hand, holding it to his face and committing the touch to memory. He turned into your palm, placing once last kiss there, promising himself that he would watch over you. He would think about how soft you were, how sweet you smelled when they placed the rope around his neck at the gallows. Every thought would be filled with you.

"See you on the other side, honey girl."

[l1veleak]

when you just won wec revelation of the year but Matt has other concerns (x)

[apocalyptic-byler]

just remembered pennywise skewered eddie literally right in front of richie WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

[demigodofhoolemere]

I’ve been watching The Power of the Doctor with subtitles on and they’ve already been pretty poor throughout, with an absurd number of very obvious and bad errors, but I have to pause because now I am absolutely HOWLING with laughter. During the scene where they’re reversing the forced regeneration, and the Master says, “I erased you, Doctor,” for some terrible and hysterical reason, THIS is what the subtitles say:

[fangirlthingy]

man when I tell you I started crying and throwing up... I'm NOT lying oh my God I love them so much

[powdermelonkeg]

my roommate just drew the funniest elf I have ever seen help

[28dayslater]

[burdock-root]

thought about john marston and started crying :|

[bedforddanes75]

GEORGE DANIEL PRETENTIOUS ABOUT COFFEE CONFIRMED IM GOING TO CRY