#actual real life incident btw

[papenathys]

I Lived It: Hot Butch Tried to Rizz Me Up But My Brain was Playing the Nain Chak Chak Chak Tujhe Tak Tak Tak part from Ucha Lamba Kad (Welcome, 2007) and Thus I Fumbled Butch 4 Butch Sex

[hangup119]

don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)

being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.

pairing. han taesan x fem. reader

genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse

playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens

expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words

author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days

@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!

IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.

Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.

Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 

“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”

Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 

Taesan only grunted in return. 

“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 

Taesan paused.

Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 

Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 

“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.

“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 

“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 

Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 

Leehan hummed. 

“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 

Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.

Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 

He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 

Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 

Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 

And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 

Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 

Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 

And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 

It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 

Though, if only it was that easy.

Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.

Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 

He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 

…And what did that make Taesan?

So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 

How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 

And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 

Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 

And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.

story by hangup119. do not steal.

[cbrownjc]

Hi there! I'm sorry if this feels super obtuse and it has been ages since I read the novels, BUT...

After this recent episode I was a little confused about what Armand had done to infuriate Louis and Daniel so much. If he simply wiped their memories so neither Louis or Daniel didn't remember everything that went down, that doesn't seem so awful, especially since what went down WAS awful. So I think I must have missed something substantial because I was distracted by my cat, or something. 😅

BTW I love your blog and all the fantastic insight you provide! I used to be ride or die with IWTV but haven't paid much attention to it in the last 15-20 years, so I'm finding it immensely helpful for getting back into the swing of things!

Hello!

So why Louis and Daniel are so angry at Armand isn't because Armand simply erased their memories. (And, to be clear, their memories weren't actually erased, but just clouded over and blocked). Armand rewrote them. Armand basically reprogrammed Daniel and Louis' minds after the OG interview, Louis' mind especially.

That was what that final scene was about, what it was demonstrating. The answer that Louis gave at the beginning of the episode, as to why Armand saved Daniel's life in 1973 was a word-for-word repeat of what Armand's own answer was at the end of the episode to that same question.

The answer wasn't something Louis truly felt wrt his own real feelings. It was something Armand put into Louis' mind to think and say about the incident after the events of it from Louis attacking Daniel on were blocked and clouded over.

As @virginiaisforvampires notes here, the way Louis speaks of Lestat in the OG interview vs the new interview is very telling wrt that reprogramming done. Yes, in the OG interview, Louis was talking down Lestat in spiteful ways, but it was all surface-level stuff. Just saying that the way Lestat spoke revealed how stupid he was and that he wasn't at all skilled when trying to play music.

That is all a far cry from the things Louis has said and spoken about in the Dubai interview about Lestat. Lestat's crimes, as they are being talked about in this second interview, are not just surface-level transgressions said to simply make Lestat angry and draw him out, as Louis was originally trying to do back in 1973. The crimes of Lestat laid out in the Dubai interview, in contrast, are very much there to justify the murder of Lestat.

Because without that justification?

Well, we see that starting when it comes to the false memory -- yes, false -- of Louis thinking Claudia couldn't burn Lestat. Louis thinking that -- that Claudia couldn't burn Lestat -- would take away Louis' guilt at having stopped Claudia from trying to burn Lestat if it was something they both couldn't do. Especially if the killing of Lestat had been justified.

But if there was no justification for killing Lestat? Then the reason Louis stopped Claudia from burning Lestat was because Louis knew that killing Lestat had been wrong. Louis knew it the night Claudia did it, which would be the real reason why he stopped her from burning him.

And because Lestat didn't burn, because he was still alive, that led to the events of the trial in Paris and what happened to Claudia there. And what is looking to be the show's version of the Merrick reveal about Claudia's true feelings wrt Louis. Which, in the book Merrick, the revelation of that is what sent Louis to try to destroy himself via sunlight exposure, as we saw him try to do back in 1973 -- which the cocaine and other drugs that were in Daniel's blood had Louis unable to either ignore anymore -- or lifted a veil that had been placed over his mind about it until then.

Do you see the cascade effect in all of this?

And look, maybe some will see what Armand has done here as not that awful, but Armand didn't do it just to try and protect Louis. That was very damn clear when he didn't relay Lestat's full "I love you" message to Louis after Louis' 1973 attempt to end his life. It's because part of Armand very much still wants to live with the illusion that he and Louis can be happy together, even after what happened in Paris and Armand's role in those events.

I've said before that Armand's flaw when it comes to love is that he will go way, way, WAY overboard to obtain or keep love. And this is all just, once again, him repeating that pattern. Armand rewrote Louis' memories of both Lestat and Claudia's actions all to try and assuage the true guilt and pain Louis has over everything that happened and Louis' own role (mostly due to his own inactions) in it all that has led to such suicidal guilt about it, but also because IMO Armand wishes to hide -- as much as he can -- his own role in everything that happened as well . . . and all of this so as to keep Louis by his side so that Louis doesn't leave him -- be it for Lestat, or even in death.

Armand isn't being altruistic in his reprogramming of Louis' mind and memories. Because really being so would have been not only telling Louis what Lestat was trying to relay to Louis back in 1973 but then probably having to let Louis go as well . . . let Louis go back to and be with Lestat, the person who Louis was trying to draw the attention of with that whole OG interview in the first place.

Honestly, I see the whole situation as kind of expanding on this line of Louis' in the book, as he and Armand are breaking up:

And when I came to Paris I thought you were powerful and beautiful and without regret, and I wanted that desperately. But you were a destroyer just as I was a destroyer, more ruthless and cunning even than I. You showed me the only thing that I could really hope to become, what depth of evil, what degree of coldness I would have to attain to end my pain. And I accepted that. And so that passion, that love you saw in me, was extinguished. And you see now simply a mirror of yourself.

With the rewriting/reprogramming of Louis' memories, this is very much what Armand has created with Louis in many ways -- a mirror of himself. The pieces of himself that Armand blocked and changed had Louis "knowing who he was" . . . but who that person is, isn't the real Louis. Just a reflection of the person who made those changes.

So yeah, that is where the anger is coming from. Moreso Louis than Daniel when it comes to the rewriting aspect of it all I'd say; Daniel is likely just angry that his mind was messed with in the first place. One thing you can say about Daniel is that he's brutally honest, even when it comes to his own foibles. He's the type who'd rather know all the horrible shit that happened to him, than not.

Anyway, I'm glad you like my blog and comments about the show, and I hope this answer explains some of it for you. 🙂

[1hot-mess-express1]

I just read your Toge not saying I love you out of fear of making reader a curse should they die and I wanna 1 up you, what if he said it while they were dying? Or like on their death bed when they're like old and grey because the guilt of not actually saying momentarily like, eats him up and he says it without thinking? Or he goes to and reader stops him and just has that look that says they know and instead reader says this sappy stuff about how they've always felt loved by him and that they always noticed His efforts to show how much he loved them.

Feel free to ignore this btw, it was just something thats been jumping around my head as of late. I hope you have a lovely week!!

-🎃💫

Any Last Words?

Toge X reader

Angst w/comfort

W.C: 1567

Synopsis: Toge is left gravely injured after the Shibuya incident and he finds himself reflecting

A/N: So sorry lovely Anon I have no idea how long this has just been chilling in my inbox but I saw this and fell in love w/ the concept immediately, this is a little rushed but I really wanted to get this done before life got too busy again

As a sorcerer, death is a constant companion—always lurking, always watching, waiting patiently to swoop in and remind you that no matter how powerful you are, she’s the one holding all the cards. Toge was no exception. He could vividly recall clinging to his father's pant leg, peeking around at the men in suits whose large frames cast menacing shadows over them. They were hunting down the alleged cursed speech user, warning his father that this child was dangerous, a threat to society—this child needed to be eliminated. If his father were a good man, they said, he would cooperate.

“A child who has inherited cursed speech can manipulate the world around them. If a child with this technique were to yell ‘no’ at you, you would have no choice but to comply; your body would freeze up, and you wouldn’t be able to move. They likely aren’t strong enough yet to cause real harm, but you see why we need to eliminate this threat early.” The man in front of them adjusts his glasses, peering straight through a trembling Toge.

“Of course, sir, I’d love to help you with this, but as you may have guessed, I don’t see many children other than my own, and unfortunately, this little guy is mute. He hasn’t spoken a word since the day he was born.” Toge’s father ruffles his hair lightly as Toge buries his face deeper into his sweater.

The man stares through Toge one last time before his gaze flickers up, and he breaks into a tight, uncomfortable smile. “Right then, we’ll be on our way. If you hear anything, don’t hesitate to give us a call. We wouldn’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” He hands over his business card and walks away.

That night, Toge meets Gojo sensei for the first time. His father told him this man would take him somewhere safe, that he wouldn’t have to be afraid, and that he could help others with his gift. That reassurance did little to quell the tears welling up in his eyes. He wanted to stay, to keep pretending just a little longer, but it was time to grow up. The world lost some of its wonder that night as he clutched the hand of a stranger, fighting back tears as his father waved him off with a smile that never quite reached his eyes.

From that day on, his life became a constant reminder of the cruelty of his new world. Corpses littered the scenes of curse sightings, and teachers, supervisors, and even students sometimes wouldn’t make it home from missions. He watched from the sidelines as their loved ones mourned and then returned to school as if nothing had happened. It was hard not to become detached from your own life when it could be lost in an instant.

Then there was you. A second-grade at best, from a line of non-sorcerers. The horrors of this world never seemed to touch you. You always smiled and laughed, enjoying the life you were given. For a moment, Toge thought you were naive. He was sure you didn’t realize the horrors lurking around every corner, ready to pounce and tear everything from you.

When you received word that Yuji had died, you wept, embarrassingly so, for someone you had never met. You cried openly, tears streaming, snot running down your nose as you wailed like a child. He stood there, stunned by the raw display of grief, and you left him little time to process it before you wrapped your arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. You spoke of how young Yuji was, how much he had ahead of him; you wept for his friends, his family, all the lives he was meant to touch. Toge doesn’t remember when he started crying, but his face burns as tears roll down onto the top of your head. He doesn’t know why, but he clutches you tightly and cries freely for possibly the first time in his life.

A breathy laugh escapes him as he recalls the memory of you sniffling into his shoulder, much like you are now. He winces in pain as the gentle laugh wreaks havoc on his injured body. He tries to wrap an arm around your head, to run his fingers through your hair, to comfort you and reassure you he’s okay, but nothing happens. Right, he lost that arm just hours ago. At this realization, another laugh roils through his stomach, and he can’t hold it back this time, choking on the pain as his body shakes in your arms.

It was never supposed to be like this. He was supposed to come home in one piece, ready to cook dinner with you and the others in the dorm. You would scold him for being reckless and dote on him as you haphazardly administered medicine. He was supposed to lie with you on the couch, eyes heavy, his hand tracing through your hair while a movie flickered around them, lighting the otherwise empty room.

This time, he allows himself to cry freely, clutching you impossibly closer as he wails like a child, mourning everything that should have been, all the things that could have been. You lean back slightly at his sudden outburst, cradling his face in your hands, brushing his bloodied hair out of his eyes. He doesn’t expect the soft smile gracing your features as you stare back into his eyes. How could you smile at a time like this? He had let you down, he could have died, and he was moments from abandoning you here, whether he wanted to or not.

You place a chaste kiss on his forehead, the warmth of your lips lingering against his cold, clammy skin. The gesture is so gentle, so filled with affection, that it catches him off guard. For a moment, the world around him fades—no pain, no fear, just the softness of your touch grounding him in the present. You pull his head into yours, your foreheads pressed together, and he can feel your breath mixing with his, shallow and uneven. It’s too much. He can’t breathe, his chest tightening as the weight of his emotions threatens to suffocate him.

He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut as if that could block out the reality of the situation, as if it could shield him from the intensity of your gaze. He knows if he looks at you, really looks at you, he’ll see the depth of your love and concern etched into your features, and he doesn’t know if he can bear it. How can you look at him like that, with such unwavering trust and devotion, after everything that’s happened? After all he’s lost, after all he’s failed to protect? The guilt gnaws at him, sharp and unrelenting.

“I-I…,” he starts, but the words catch in his throat, choked by the guilt knotting there, making it harder to breathe with each passing moment. He closes his mouth, trying to steady his nerves, but instead, he feels your lips on his, warm and gentle.

You kiss him with no urgency, as if your life is guaranteed, as if you aren’t in a hospital room. No, you kiss him, and he’s transported back to his dorm, the breeze carrying the gentle glow of the afternoon sun through the room, and he can smell the remnants of your shampoo as you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. He’s home, he’s safe, and he’s loved unconditionally.

When you break away, you reach up to hold his face in your hands, running your thumb over his curse marks. Those marks, once symbols of his power and burden, now seem almost fragile under your tender caress.

You lean in, your voice barely above a whisper, the words carrying a weight that transcends the simplicity of their meaning: “I love you too.” The sincerity in your voice cuts through the layers of doubt and fear that have wrapped themselves around his heart. He feels a surge of emotions—relief, gratitude, love—all mingling together, overwhelming in their intensity.

He can’t help it—the boyish smile that breaks across his face is instinctive, almost involuntary. It’s the kind of smile that reaches his eyes, lighting them up with a glimmer of hope buried under the weight of his doubt. In that moment, everything else falls away. The wounds, the battles, the relentless weight of his responsibilities—they all seem distant, insignificant compared to the simple truth of your words.

His resolve solidifies, a quiet determination burning within him. He might not be able to express his feelings in words, but he vowed to spend the rest of his life showing you, in every way possible, just how deeply he loved you. He would make it his mission to always come home to you—to listen to you animatedly recount your day, your eyes sparkling with excitement over the smallest details. He would continue to bring your favorite snacks, the ones that always made you smile, and remember the little things, like moving the sheets into the dryer on Saturdays.

As long as he lived, he would fight to return to you, day after day, because each time he walked through that door and saw you waiting for him, it was a victory—a promise kept. And maybe, just maybe, one day, when the time was right, he would…

[zeherili-ankhein]

So this is what happened at school today during Sociology class

I was sitting next to one of my smartass friends (who's name is literally Shinchan btw 🗿🗿)

And ma'am was teaching the topic, it was related to the Caste system and Varna system and other stuff

So now, the topic somehow shifted to Ekalavya (literally I can't elaborate but yeah understand everything happening in the class was just a mess)

Another smartass dude from across the class: *said something which is very dumb and wrong*

My intellectualTM ass as soon as I heard that: umm actually 🤓✋ *rambling about how dude is wrong*

Ma'am: ....

Ma'am: yo damn an intelligent kid finally

My dumb friends from both my sides: *cheering for no reason cuz they thought a random debate is about to happen*

Ma'am: what's your name btw??

Me, who is very much afraid because she has been searching for me since December because I never submitted my research file: ummm... Ipsita... (Yes yes that's my real name idc)

Ma'am: huhh?? You are that infamous Ipsita from section C??? Why don't you come to school??

My scared as fuck as thinking I'm gonna get the ear full of the Century: ....yes... 🥹 Umm actually I was... Uhhh sick...

Ma'am: ahh you should come to school more I like intelligent kids.. btw your file is ready right???

Me, who's confused because she gave a flying fuck about the file other than just asking: umm yeah uh huh hehe.. T_T its at home...

Also I legit lied that my file was ready and at home, in reality I haven't even started that shit.... And why am I stuttering like Wattpad y/n??? Because of social anxiety bitch

Also that smartass dude is actually nice, he's a good kid.. a bit awkward but good.

Also is this incident significant enough to change history or the course of someone's life? No. Was it important enough to my own life? No. But it was dumb and iconic so I shared it.

[iamnmbr3]

💖

What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

hm. not sure because i feel like no matter how fringe the opinion it will be popular in one corner of the fandom or other. However, I'll go with my opinion on the Sectumsempra incident. I feel that it is not as big a deal as it's made out to be in some corners of the fandom and the bad thing about isn't what people focus on and also it's not even the most morally questionable thing Harry does in the series by a long shot.

I think some people tend to treat it as something Harry did with knowledge and intent, when he didn't. He didn't even use the spell because he dislikes Draco. He did it in a frantic moment of self defense when the first few spells he tried didn't work and he was shouting the first thing that came to mind. The terrible thing is that he was very cavalier about trying out unknown magic. The actual context he used it in - self defense agains a probable Death Eater who was attacking him and had escalated to Unforgivables - is actually pretty understandable. However, had he not walked in on Draco the probable victim of his spell would have been Cormac Mclaggen, who he had actually intended to test it on due to his dislike of him. This is hugely irresponsible, as was his decision to test another spell on Ron. (Though we must remember that his education has not stressed the potential risks of using unknown spells on people.)

Harry didn't know what the spell did and used it only in response to an attack and only after several of his other spells didn't work (btw shoutout to the fact that Draco actually lasted longer in a duel with Harry than any other character in the series except Snape). People sometimes put it into the real world context of a fight between people at school getting out of hand to the point one person nearly dies. But that's not what happened. This is a heightened fantasy context of two people who are now literally on opposite sides of a war getting into a serious fight. Also, although people say Harry didn't feel bad he actually was absolutely horrified by what he has done, so much so that he completely lost his composure in the moment which is a very atypical reaction for him, even in dangerous or upsetting situations. And then he subsequently completely stops investigating Draco even though the fight and what Draco says right before it further substantiate Harry's theories about Draco.

The really notable thing to me is how upset Harry is when Draco is hurt - to the point that he freezes up and panics, which is one of the only times he reacts that way in a high stress situation - and how it is Pansy and not Draco who vilifies Harry. It's also really interesting that Harry could have probably gotten himself out of trouble by mentioning that Draco was saying some super incriminating stuff and then attacked him and tried to use an Unforgivable Curse on Harry (which remember, carries a life sentence in prison). But even though Harry previously brought concerns about Draco to McGonagall, during the whole time she apparently yelled at him over this incident he never brought any of these extenuating circumstances. Given that Lucius is already in jail and the Malfoys have lost their standing in mainstream wizarding society (as well as among Death Eaters) Harry's accusation would probably have been taken seriously and he might well have been able to land Draco in jail. However, instead when Harry sees the vulnerable position Draco is in he backs off.

So yeah Harry definitely made a horrible mistake in this scene, but I see it more as drarry fodder than as evidence of him being a vicious psychopath.

Were this anyone but Draco, I can't imagine Harry reacting in a similar way. I mean, imagine him walking in on some other Death Eater saying a bunch of incriminating stuff and then getting attacked by that Death Eater and injuring the Death Eater more than he intended while acting in self defense. (Remember in book 5 Hermione was the one who had to stop him cursing the Death Eater whose head was de-aged to a baby.)

And the other weird thing is that Harry does other more morally grey things. In book 2 he makes Lockhart go first into the Chamber. If the Basilisk was waiting there he would have been killed. In a moment of anger in book 6 he chokes Mundungus so hard he starts turning blue, and never feels bad about it or apologizes. In book 7 he won't attack Stan with Stunners but he does use them on other Death Eaters, which presumably risks killing them. (There's also his use of the Cruciatus Curse in book 7 which I personally find to be a dumb and ooc scene added for a silly reason and thus just don't count as canon even though it could have been a super interesting moment if done well; but if you do count it, that's wayyy darker than the book 6 scene). I love Harry but he's not just an uwu soft cinnamon roll though I don't think he's an evil psychopath like some parts of fandom do either. He does make some morally grey choices that make his character interesting and complex and flawed, but the bathroom fight in book 6 really isn't one of them imho.

[tikvin]

Durge girlies infodump ✨

Eshra

Bard+vengeance paladin (I call it "got her powers out of sheer hate". Also dialogs of those classes are most fitting for her. She's also not classic Bard tho, doesn't have instrument either)

Is one of the most uncanny looking durges, but you only notice if you look at her for more than a moment and think about it more than a minute. The more you look at her the more strange things you start to notice. The streaks on corners of her mouth with time will reveal to be a wide mouth, unhinging jaw. Hair color and eyes that are not natural for drow. Slightly longer limbs, all that.

However she's a very charismatic person and averts the attention from the details easily enough. She's cunning, knows when to observe silently and when to speak. She's not a prying type, but very perceptive of emotions of others.

Eshra is in romance w/ Astarion, and Eshra detected his lies very soon, but kept quiet about it, playing along and waiting to see where it goes.

Eshra doesn't have anything against killing, however the real joy she gets is from killing those who think they are the shit. Bringing down prideful and strong chars to pathetic death (favourably in most dishonouroful way) is quite the delight of her life. She tries to avert her urges from the unreasonable (to anyone sane) targets to someone strong. She's also smart enough to dig for reasons to kill, Kahga being the best example. Eshra had an urge to just watch the little girl die.Fotr the fist time such urge concerned her, the itch of the urge would not stop if she just ignores it, so she redirects it to someone "bad" in the room, that being Kahga. She digs for reasons to kill and does so, without even trying to make Kahga change her mind.

Eshra also at first "saved" Lae'zel only to wait and dig for a reason to kill her. Eshra attacks Minthara almost instantly, because Minthara is smart and quickly notices something isn't right with her, and Eshra feels thretened by Minthara's prying. She would prefer her to stay silent, silent for eternity.

Jericho

Wild magic sorcerer

I headcanon her to be a very masterful before the amnesia and losing the control after, requiring help of Gale to try and control it (and that's how they get married lmao). She actually might have turned a bit dumber after amnesia.

Jericho is the most determined to stop the urges and most disgusted by her deeds among my durges. She's also a bit cowardly when it comes to her past, so she doesn't pry too much into it, afraid of what she might find. She also the one to believe Emperor. She's a bit wary, but doesn't see Orpheus helping them (the mountain pass was skipped on account of lore reasons, absence of Lae'zel, cuz after reading the discs of Orpheus there's just no reason keep Emperor alive. I will be playing again with Lae'Zel present, so Jericho would free Orpheus, cuz she'd trust Lae'Zel. Which one is canon I will decide after)

After the game events she recognizes her cowardice, and now feeling much more secure in loving and peaceful environment, she does her best to research bhaalspawn and everything about it to help prevent tragedies. Also the only girlie who is a bit bummed that she must avoid having biological children, but she's dutiful enough to recognize that responsibility.

Also the softest among durges, maybe because she got hit in the head the hardest lol, the one who truly starts a completely new and different life after the incident.

Oh, and she's 100% sure Tara doesn't like her, if not hate her

Thalissa

Assasin rogue+fighter.

Very much not a real githyanki and avoids actual githyanki, while simultaneously pretending to be one when it's convenient. With her I'm planning multiple play throughs btw, current one is without Lae'Zel, other will be with her and another with her being Tav.

She's also not concerned much with her urges, or her memories ("eh, I'm a rogue, I doubt I had much to care about anyway"). Obnoxiously smart mouthed, nonchalant, sometimes unintentionally rude. "Heh, yea, I'm a swamp elf". She hides her face usually, pretending to be whatever other race people might mistake her for.

Much like Eshra, Thalissa enjoys killing those who are oh so full of themselves

But she also actually enjoys being around "goodie two shoes" characters, because she likes to poke fun and make them just a bit annoyed, also secretly hoping their "goodiness" will rub off on her a bit, to quiet down the bloodlust.

Thalissa as a Tav is still the "chill and easy going gith". A githyanki who escaped strict military life and lives in material plane, because she enjoys it way more, even if often faced with prejudice.

Thana

Monk

Very temperamental, openly rude, but not in an elegant way like drows are usually, more barbarian like actually. She might have a bit of a anger issues and it's relatively easy to set her off.

Not the smartest one, not book wise at least.

Not very concerned for cultural things either. "Blah blah blah, balance, rules, boooring, are we fighting or what?"

She is also the one who gets concerned only when her urges start targeting children, but brush them off to kid being annoying and the urge being an intrusive thought. She genuinely tries to be "the friendly drow", but the moment she hears something rude with "you're a drow" reasoning she just can't keep her tongue back, which then doesn't help her making her case lol. You get approximately 3 sentences to make her like you, cus that how long it takes for her to decide (however, in certain cases she might get mad that you don't like her and make it her mission to make you her friend)

She's also not too concerned about memory loss, she undermines her "condition" until it takes grave turn, then she's scared, but too prideful to admit it, until, yet again, it gets in dangerous area (act 2)

That would be it for now, just a bit of general info about the girlies. If you have your favorite, feel free to ask about them, I'd love to answer, I've been keeping the lore for a long time

[tookishcombeferre]

Kay, so I have, in fact, still been writing fic. However, my brain has been pea soup because my meds have been all sorts of delayed to my pharmacy. So, strap yourselves in because I've been thinking, and that has once been called a dangerous pastime. Y'all know. A line I recently wrote for a prequel fic I'm working on to "In the Flares of the Sun" is this: "Cedric is an adult who deserves far more in life than to rely solely on the companionship of a child and a bird for his flourishing and development. Yet, somewhere along the line, someone decided that he should be grateful for any scrap of affection the world threw his way." (This is Miranda speaking btw. Generally, she and Cedric are the closest you're going to hear to "me," the author, talking when you're reading my fics.) Now, in fandom, we rightly talk a lot about how, through Sofia's kindness, Cedric found redemption. However, like ... that had to be kind of hard? Part of the reason I think his redemption is so non-linear is because everytime Sofia tried to give him a hand up Roland, or someone else, tried to punch him down. It's been commonly said that for every ONE negative comment we receive as human beings we need FIVE positive comments to counteract it. Lets ... Lets just think about that. If we assume by the "Day of the Sorcerers" Cedric is somewhere between 39, on the young end, and 42, on the old end, and at the time of "The Incident" he was 6, on the young end, and 9, on the old end. That's something like ... what almost 3+ decades of KINGDOMS worth of negativity that then ONE child is trying to counteract? So, like, yeah, Sofia is awesome. Full stop. She's amazing! But, Cedric needs SOME credit in accepting what she offers him. The fact that he does accept what Sofia offers to him, and readily, speaks to a SINCERE amount of intrinsic goodness IN HIM. I'm amazed that this character isn't full and complete Horned King or Maleficent levels of evil! He still has compassion left in him. He still has a heart. He still HAS goodness left to BE fostered. He is not, at all, heartless. He. Still. Loves. THAT is impressive. THAT takes guts. I just started my second rewatch with my kid. And, what has struck me on round 2, is just how ready he is to accept Sofia's kindness even in episode 3. I LOVE that it doesn't stick because that's real. However, to me, what that really foreshadows well is the finale. Sofia facing off Vor? Cedric's already done that. WITHIN HIMSELF. He has looked in the mirror every. single. day. and fought himself. The creators actually did, I think, a great job of setting up, subtly, what that final battle was going to be about though subtext. In that final battle, the subtext just becomes main text. Sofia's foil has already been battling apathy, despair, loneliness, and villainy within himself the whole darn series. In the finale, we just get to see that same fight externalized between the living personification of the evil perspective. Vor is what happens when you - as is literally done by Prisma - bring all the pieces of Disney villains together. There may have been some pieces of Disney villains in Cedric's character design. But, not in his heart. Not in personality. Vor IS the literal pieces, the TOOLS, of the past villians. She IS evil. Further, what I love about this, is that this means Sofia isn't alone in what she has done in the finale. She isn't the only character who has looked evil in the face and won. She doesn't have to be alone. My major issue with the Protector story arc is how much responsibility Sofia is forced to take on at such a young age. (I am SO team Miranda on this one.) However, at least in this case, Sofia has a mentor who did the hard thing first. Cedric has full and total empathy for how hard it is to look at the living embodiment of villainy and face it off with kindness - Sofia's kindness. Because, that's what Cedric had to do in the mirror for years with himself until he made the final choice to choose goodness. And, you know what? I think that's really heroic and admirable.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for secretly following my then best friend home?

(tw alcohol abuse, probably suicidal tendencies)

I know this sounds really awful right away but bear with me. Also this is probably going to get long, sorry in advance

tl;dr I followed a guy i was friends with and had a crush on home after an argument, even after he asked me not to come to his house, bc i was worried he might hurt himself.

Last summer I (20f) moved to the US for college. I didn’t know anyone outside of college and overall I was mostly on my own which was getting a bit lonely tbh. So I was very glad when I met this guy (21m) at a party of one of my acquaintances. We got along right away and he ended up giving me his number. After that we continued talking regularly and also meeting up every now and then and overall it was a lot of fun.

At some point I started developing feelings for him but prepared myself to just wait it out and not tell him bc I knew that he liked having a very active sex life and felt like he probably wouldn’t be interested in something serious at that time.

After a few months however, he began to behave in some ways that made me pretty worried honestly. I had known that he liked to go out and party but I hadn’t known to what extent. Apparently he would get totally blackout drunk at least once a week, sometimes more than that and then he would text me or call me in the middle of the night but often I genuinely couldn’t understand what he was saying. Sometimes he would just call me like that at any time of day, crying, saying that I was his only real friend, the only person he felt safe talking to and so on. On the one hand I knew that that wasn’t healthy behaviour at all but on the other hand my crush on him kept getting worse bc who doesn’t like to feel needed.

On other occasions, he would just randomly do reckless and stupid things like one time we went to a museum and he started arguing with the guard over not being able to take any pictures and we almost got kicked out. Afterwards he laughed it off but honestly it made me feel pretty uneasy. (I didn’t tell any of my other friends about that btw, they only knew that I was seeing this guy but wasn’t dating him.)

He has told me some things about his childhood which I don’t want to share here bc he did tell me that confidentially and although this is anonymous I still don’t feel comfortable telling random people on tumblr about it. But it is severe enough for me to believe that his upbringing and the things he lived through definitely contributed to the issues that he has now. I can say that he didn’t have a great time at home bc he is bi and while homosexuality isn’t illegal in his country, it isn’t really accepted either. Also it’s generally expected that children, especially boys, dedicate their entire life to having a successful and lucrative career and then start a family and he wasn’t really in the right place to do either of that (and he didn’t want to).

He also has been facing a lot of problems and racism here bc he is a poc immigrant from a country that isn’t in good standing with the US. So while I don’t pretend I know what he’s feeling, I imagine that all of these things would affect him quite a lot.

Now I actually get to the incident that is the reason for me to send this (it rly did get long TT but I want to make everything as clear as possible).

A few weeks ago we were just hanging out, it was all pretty chill and we just sat down to eat and talk etc. It had been quite a difficult week for me, also college wise, and I felt like I really had to talk to him about him calling me at night and while I’m in class and all that. So I said as nicely as I could smth like “I don’t want to seem overbearing but have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist bc I don’t think what you do is healthy in the long run and I’m not a professional who can properly help you.” He immediately got really snappy and defensive, saying that he “couldn’t fucking afford a therapist and even if I could, all they do is squeeze the money out of you and they don’t give a fuck about your feelings.” I was pretty shocked tbh and responded by saying “well if you really think this badly about therapists you should clearly see one” which was probably too harsh of me but I just couldn’t help myself at that moment. He then said “oh yeah?? I’d rather die than tell any of my shit to a total stranger. But you’ve probably already told yours bc you’re all so fucking dependant on them anyway.” and then he stormed off. (Just to be clear, I don’t have a therapist bc I don’t have any issues that require one.)

I was really scared at that point bc I thought that he might do something to himself (he had said stuff like “I wish I just wasn’t here sometimes” before) so I started following him which I now think was extremely weird and creepy of me but I just didn’t think it through in that situation. He walked for about 10 minutes to a house which I assumed was where he lived (I had never been at his place before bc he always said he lived in a bad neighborhood and didn’t want me to come there) and I stood outside for like another 10 minutes thinking abt what to do bc I realized that this had been totally stupid, also it started to get dark and it really was a bad neighborhood. I ended i up calling him and telling him where I was and he let me in. He was pretty angry but mostly at the fact that I had put myself in such a dangerous situation and he let me spend the night at his place.

We actually got together not long after that and as of now, we’re dating. I know it’s not an ideal situation and probably not the most healthy one but I have been able to keep him from drinking himself into oblivion all the time bc we spend most evenings together now so I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know where things will go from here and I don’t have the illusion that i can “fix him” or anything but so far it’s been pretty good and I really do love him a lot so I just hope it will all turn out for the best. I just still feel guilty for lowkey (or actually highkey) stalking him when he explicitly asked me not to come to his house but it was out of genuine worry for him so idk if it makes me an asshole, I guess I’ll let tumblr decide that for me.

🌃🎀🍨 for finding later

[cicerfics]

3, 24, 50 for bond & q :)

3. Obscure headcanon

Oh, it's so hard to determine what's 'obscure' in fandom! I am never sure which headcanons have been shared before, or how other people perceive this stuff.

But I guess my top 'uncommon' headcanon for Q is that he's on the asexuality/aromantic spectrum. I am totally capable of reading about (or even writing) allosexual Q, but in my heart, he will always be aro-ace to me! He makes an exception for Bond, because that's how it goes sometimes. But even with Bond, Q doesn't quite experience attraction in the 'usual' way. He's very intensely attracted to Bond in numerous ways, but not necessarily super 'horny' for Bond in the typical sense.

Obscure headcanon for Bond...honestly? I think Bond is a bit of a nerd! I think he's a jock and a nerd at the same time! I think he really likes learning obscure trivia, crossword puzzles, and books.

I think he's incredibly intelligent about a lot of things...a real polymath, in spite of the fact that he's also a 'blunt instrument'. I think he plays down his intelligence (though we definitely see glimpses of it in the films) because he likes to surprise people and he knows it's easier to do his job when people underestimate him.

But beyond his actual intelligence, I think he's downright nerdy in some of his interests and the sheer enjoyment he takes in learning new stuff. So that's my 'obscure' hreadcanon for him...'obscure' in the sane that it is not necessarily strongly supported by any part of canon!

24. Most annoying habit

Q is incredibly pedantic and bossy and stubborn. He will dig his teeth into a petty argument, and hold on for dear life. Honestly, I feel like he's actually better at letting important stuff go, because he tends to rationalize away his emotions (also a bad habit!) and bury any hurt feelings.

But if he's having an argument with someone about something that's honestly pretty meaningless? Q will go to the mat to defend his point. He will not let it go! Many people find this understandably irritating. (Bond delights in it, though, and he winds Q up just for fun.)

Bond, meanwhile, is an irrepressible contrarian and a complete brat. You say up, he says down. You say black, he says white. You tell him to do one thing, he'll do the opposite just to spite you. He enjoys being 'difficult' and he enjoys refusing to cooperate with people he doesn't like. Sometimes, he refuses to cooperate with people he does like, just because he takes unholy pleasure in annoying them. (See above re: Q.) He does not (and never did) play nicely with the other children. He just likes to be a pest.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

Oof.

Okay, I tend to headcanon that Q had a pretty crummy childhood with parents who were mentally unwell/emotionally absent. And honestly, I think Q has blocked out a lot of his childhood. I don't think he realizes it, because he has clear memories of his education, the things he taught himself, his childhood pets, etc. But I think he's blocked out a lot of stuff that has to do with his parents and the traumatic things he witnessed while under their care.

For Bond...yeah. I think he blocks out the bad parts of his missions as best he can. I think he erects a mental wall around his memories of being tortured, and I think he refers to those incidents very flippantly because it helps him pretend this is something that happened to someone else.

I also think he blocked out a lot of happy memories from his childhood. I headcanon that he had a pretty happy childhood overall and parents who loved him (and each other). After he lost them, it was too hard for Bond to remember how good things used to be. So he just...doesn't think about it, if he can help it. The contrast between his childhood and his current life is too devastating for him.

(I am still open for asks on this topic, btw!!)

[mayhems-cannon]

god i'm so sorry i'm about to enter yapcity at mach speed about something non ultrakill but jesus christ i need to talk about faith and the way i keep seeing it and how it ties with themes of mental health and how it just clicks with me? like a sort of personal analysis i guess????

so, i guess, to talk about it

somehow there are characters i just kinda, hit it with? like it hits at the core, and often enough it's through a weird fucking revelation, like a spark or something, and somehow that hit hardest when i fought the unspeakable in chapter 1 (the mirror boss). learning about John himself having been through a mental healthcare system and having had to so obviously lie to himself to be able to leave kinda hit, really really fucking hard. i felt seen, it was as if ties were created from that alone and everything from now on hit so much harder

i don't know how to explain it but the way psych wards are shown within media is either so saccahrine or so ridiculously anti-therapy yet the very little parts of John's experience we know feel much more realistic to me, no matter (or rather thanks to) the sparcity of details shown through the notes.

the way he was impacted by his experience there, the general behavior of the doctors, just the lying to himself that it's all fine because the more you stay the worse you actually feel, hell even just the demon throwing him back to the straightjacket room, all that feels real and familiar and scary. if it's not straightjackets nowadays (fuck you jimmy beast for that fucking video idea btw) the rooms are still padded and you're still stripped of everyhting and pricked in the ass with a sedative for being a danger to yourself and/or the people around you

you stay there for one month, because you can't afford to stay more, else you'll miss school or work, because you're not doing anything useful aside going through assigned "therapies" that barely feel useful sometimes, and the demons just remain here, cause you can't afford to get rid of them here, it's too much void, too much free time spent doing nothing but get anxious and reminded of everything, you're numb but you're also restless.

but still you need to hide the demons, no matter what, so you lie about it:

"I am happy to report that, since accepting the truth, my nightmares have ceased and i now enjoy peace of mind that i have not felt since the incident."

the people around you give up on you, slowly then everything just falls completely. first it's your job, the thing that gives your life a proper rhythm. you take the time to breathe, or at least try to, but it doesn't stop, the demons don't leave you, they just don't, they stay, always and always, and you just can't sleep anymore. your close ones worry, but soon it's too much to handle for them. you try to battle it out, you try to make it stop, you take things into your own hands but that's the sign it's too late, you've pushed them off the edge and now they're gone.

"John,

I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.

I will always love you back.

Molly."

and you're alone. again.

the demons are still here, always here, but you have to pretend they just aren't. you still feel horrible about seeing Amy in this state, just not alive anymore, a silent husk, an emoty piece of flesh, about having failed the one job you were told to do, you couldn't save anyone, you couldn't do shit but stand and watch, but you're here, getting told your issues are just delusions in your mind, that your nightmares are figments of your imaginations, that you just maybe need to talk it out some more. you feel like you should die but you can't say it, people take you for an insane person for what you did, of course they do, why wouldn't they?

so you lie about your mental state, and you write that letter, you act in the way they want you to act at the ward, and once you're out you just start again, pick back up where you left off, because it's not over, the demons are still here and you need to actually get fucking rid of them. and it slowly fucking eats at you but you should know you need to push through it, constantly

i dunno, maybe i'm being an idiot who projects on his silly 80s pc like viddygame but it just all sounds like the basic processes of trauma and mental illness to me. the demons have gained physical traits here but it still reads to me as an allegory for dealing with so many traumatic events while having everyone around you hate you or misunderstand you, and you feel constanlty alone, but you know you aren't, it just hurts to think about it cause it feels like i could, i guess, just know John. i could go back to a psych ward for my own worsening issues and almost just see him, as is, in a jeans-tshirt combo, and i'd feel like "yeah, you're just like me, you got fucked over and traumatized and now people just won't understand, and the demons keep follwing you".

again idfk i just. kinda. ghgheh

[ninjagirlstar5]

So I made a Danganronpa & AVA/AVM Crossover

But less about the killing games and more like, "How would the Tragedy affect the OuterNet?"

I'ma just copy-paste my Discord ramblings, but yeah, it's gonna get long so buckle up.

At first the OuterNet barely bat an eye at the Tragedy. Some Stick figures even claim that it's just a "Creators' problem," not a "Stick problem." Surprisingly, though, FreedomStick/Freedom Guy (the guy that had an ad that said stop stick slavery!), which I will be calling Rebel from now on, advocated for Sticks to do their part and protect Creators from Viruses and such that come from the OuterNet due to it's connection to the DeepNet (a.k.a the dark web) as they predicted the Despairs' ideals from real life will trickle down and affect them just as much as it'll affect the Real World. While there's not much Sticks can do to their creators from inside the PCs (physically, anyways), there are still ways they can harm them through the internet (gestures to Second forcefully commenting negative things on Facebook through Alan's account, viruses like The Dark Lord's, etc.) So Rebel is trying to get their fellow Sticks to be aware of the Tragedy happening in the Real World and trying to get some protection ideas off the ground, not only for the Creators, but for them, too.

(Btw, this is my design for Rebel, teehee.)

Of course, most of the stick community was not…pleased with Rebel's prediction and some even felt betrayed because it was thanks to them that they weren't treated like slaves from their Creators anymore, freeing them from their misery and/or inspiring them to break away. So having an influential figure be idolized for their, uh, "Anti-Creator" ideals (which is actually just a very extreme version of their beliefs cause in reality, they just want sticks to be treated like people, not hurt the Creators) say something of the "opposite" gets them ignored or even ousted from lots of groups. And so, the OuterNet continued on like normal.

There's just one problem: the Tragedy, and thus the Despairs, quickly makes itself apparent on the Internet.

Due to the OuterNet's nature, it is inherently tied to the Internet, which is where the Creators create most if not all of the websites where a lot of stickfigures come from. Not only that, the OuterNet gets most of it's information and ideas from the Internet, allowing them to stay in touch with the Real World while also inspiring them in ways that can help better their lives (it's why RocketCorp is able to grow as big and as quickly under a few years as it did: Vic saw an opportunity and snatched it while he still could). So, over time, the OuterNet started becoming more and more aware of the Despairs, their nihilistic propaganda campaigns posted all over in ads and news sites, and the harm that has been done all over the world.

Until, one day, the first sight of a Despair stick appeared in the OuterNet and proceeded to wreck havoc. And thanks to the Tragedy ongoing in the Real World, the denizens of the DeepNet becomes more bold in their crimes to the point that they do it in broad daylight. Guess where the Despair stick got it's equipment from.

The first Despair incident gets resolved pretty quickly but not without casualties and the community is shocked that this even happened.

Cue Rebel staring into the camera and having their "I told you so" moment.

Rebel doesn't spend time being petty, though. Instead, they take the opportunity to remind the community of their connection to the Creators and how they are affected by the Real World just as much as them. This incident only proved that their prediction is coming true and that the community is going to need all the help they can get to combat against the upcoming Tragedy. With the results of ignoring the problem shoved right in their faces, most of the community relents and helps out Rebel.

Of course, since this is the Tragedy, some of the ideals of Despairs start affecting the community through their campaigns and many become apathetic to the disasters happening outside and inside the OuterNet. But Rebel refuses to back down and let Despairs hurt any more people, becoming a Symbol of Hope as they fight against the Tragedy and help as many people as they can to protect not only their fellow Stick figures, but also the Creators that are suffering in the Real World. Even if all they can do is keep the DeepNet's crimes isolated in the OuterNet and preventing it from spreading to PCs.

Speaking of Despair sticks, there are three kinds of them:

Created Despair Sticks: These sticks are ones that are created through the Despair ads campaigns. While the Despairs have never intended to make these stick figures due to sentient Sticks being so rare in the Real World that nobody really knows about them unless they're a Creator, sometimes these Sticks will come across these ads and articles on Despairs and their code will be influenced by their "ideals" or even pop out from these Internet campaigns. As a result, it is a part of their nature to create Despair and Destruction to those around them and their surroundings. There are usually no way to reason with these sticks as it is a part of their code and cannot be removed without being killed.

Regular Sticks turning to Despair: Stick figures that have lived relatively normal lives before the Tragedy struck. Most sticks that turn to Despair are ones that have unresolved trauma from their past Creators that absorbing the Despairs' "ideals" encouraged them to finally go back and strike at their Creators, regardless of who gets hurt, or those that already had a nihilistic and pessimistic viewpoint that becoming a Despair is much more preferable than holding the Hope that things will get better. Because to them, the world has already turned to hell. Why not join them instead? It's very hard to reason with these sticks, but some are able to turn away before it's too late. Or at the very least, turn themselves in.

Despair-Infected Sticks: I've debated on whether or not to keep this one but I think it just adds another layer as to why these sticks are different than humans even though they're still people: because they have a code that can be removed or added to depending on if the person is able to access it. This is why Viruses are so dangerous to sticks as they can infect and even destroy their coding from the inside out, which is why Dark had to put in a bunch of safety measures for him to be able to use his Virus with his bracelets and such. Someone from the DeepNet decided it'd be a good idea to create a Despair Virus and sell it to other Despairs simply for the profit. Whether this bit them in the ass or not, we'll never know as they disappeared off the face of the Earth after it was completed. Despite it's creator gone, it was very easy to replicate the Despair Virus and have it infect many unsuspecting Sticks in a populated area. Once infected, they become exactly like every other Despair Stick, however, some victims are able to fight back long enough to beg for help and mercy from those around them. Currently, there is no cure and RocketCorp has been trying to study this virus to find it or at least a means to create back-ups of those infected (even though Vic is secretly selling things to the Despairs so he can fund RocketCorp and continue his goal in finding Alan, oops).

Created Despair Sticks are literally just born like this. Even if they develop into wanting something different, they can't go against their code cause they're born with it and it's literally them so they can't break it unless they break themselves.

Despair-Infected Sticks are literally infected by a virus and are forced to hurt others around them as their coding is forcefully changed and even broken down to make room for the virus. And some are even aware enough to know this and try to fight it. Basically, both are pretty damn bad, while the second type of Despair stick is more a choice than anything else.

And as my mutual pointed out, "infected sticks causes despair for both the infected and the victims surrounding them." It's a cycle, man. Once it starts, it's hard to stop. 💔

As for the Desktop Sticks...why don't we start with how Second and the Color Gang are holding up!

To be honest, they probably didn't notice what the fuck has been going on in the outside world. They've mostly been doing their own thing and having fun. Sure, Alan seems a little…stressed but he's sometimes like that, you know?

And then, Alan kinda just stops showing up.

They didn't think much about it at first. They just kept themselves preoccupied and Second took the time to hang out with the CG some more as he assumed that maybe Alan took a day off to hang out with his family. But then the days start going by and they all look at each other and go, "Hey. Alan hasn't come back yet. Is he okay?" So they decided to open up the Internet to see what's up.

And they get blasted with all the news on the Tragedy: crime has risen, riots are everywhere, terrorists called the Despairs are running around spouting nihilistic bullshit as they destroy buildings and spread their influence. They're all just shocked at what's happening and are frankly, terrified! And then Yellow points out that Alan must have been dealing with this outside in the Real World and and they all go, "OH SHIT, Alan's in danger!"

But, problem! They can't do shit about this.

Yes, they've destroyed Alan's PC numerous times, mostly by accident, mostly from collateral. But they do not have the influence or the bodies to stop the Tragedy in the Real World. All they can do is just…watch and wait for Alan to return. Well, Second and Yellow have been scouting the internet trying to see if they can find traces of Alan but everyone else is kinda just…bundles of anxiety

And then a couple of burglars break in and try to steal Alan's PC. And when Second tries to notify them to stop, they just laugh and ask each other if anyone would buy these sentient sticks off of them! That's when Green took the initiative and said that they're leaving and they all book it into the Minecraft portal so they can try and contact Mango and Purple. They're kinda hoping the OuterNet is faring better than the Real World. (They are all clueless.)

Second and the Gang actually aren't the only Desktop Sticks that have fled to the OuterNet. Some created Stick figures have been losing their Creators one way or another and they've all been immigrating to the OuterNet for safety and security as they have no one to help them or take care of them anymore. Assuming they even know of the existence of the OuterNet. If they don't…they're just kinda stuck on their desktops, alone. They're lucky if they have another Stick figure with them but if they don't, they just sit there and…wait. Like a sad little dog waiting for their owners to return. And that's the "best" case scenario in a situation where a Stick knows nothing of the OuterNet and lost a Creator that genuinely cared for them.

Desktop Sticks are usually ones that have Creators (some simply just come into existence by pure accident through websites and the like, though) and usually are unaware of the OuterNet. Since the OuterNet is kind of a secret safe space for Sticks, DeskTop Sticks aren't really searched for unless they send an SOS through a website. Rebel, of course, tends to travel between many PCs, but it's difficult for them to gain access to these PCs due to firewalls and stuff and often risk getting themselves deleted thanks to those. So it's usually safer to have these Sticks come to OuterNet on their own or through a secret code amongst many different websites that Rebel put out through their own ads. A Desktop Stick and their Creator's relationship is a case by case basis as some Creators treat their sticks like people (or at worse, pets that just so happen to live in their PCs) while others tend to abuse them or try to delete them for "taking up space," which depends on what kind of powers the Stick has (Chosen was kept because he had a use in being an ad-blocker, but was done so against his will). If the Desktop Stick's relationship with a Creator is positive, they usually stick around and stay in the PC, even when they know of the OuterNet's existence. If it's negative/abusive, they tend to break away and live in the OuterNet on their own, which is where Rebel established many communities for those who are new to the OuterNet and needed a place to stay. Every now and then, there are Desktop Sticks that move into the OuterNet due to escaping a horrible Creator, leaving an abandoned PC where the Creator just never took/transfer the Sticks to their new PC, or simply because their Creator passed away and they needed to start a new life. There was a steady flow of Sticks that come in and out of the OuterNet and the immigration was quite manageable.

But then the Tragedy strikes and suddenly, crowds of Sticks have been entering the OuterNet and it becomes very difficult to find the space for all these Sticks as the OuterNet isn't actually that big. Especially in comparison to the Real World. To make matters worse, the Despair Sticks see this as an opportunity to hurt even more Sticks. Many of whom are quite distraught at losing their Creators as, you know, not all of them were horrible people to their little Stick buddies! So hey, they may as well kick them while they're down! So Rebel is kinda just…struggling to find the time and space for the Desktop Sticks to live in and protecting them and they just look at this crowd, sweat, and go, "Wow…that's a lot of Sticks, haha…."

They honestly have no idea where to put all these Sticks, ngl.

And that's actually where Mango and Purple come in.

So, Mango and Purple have been watching this shit all go down. Hell, they actually witnessed the first Despair Stick incident and survived from that, which signaled to them that they can't just bury their heads from this situation. However, Mango prioritized he and Purple's safety first and foremost and the two hid away in Minecraft for a bit, but kept in contact with the OuterNet through phones and such. But as time went on, Purple was getting more and more antsy and Mango can tell just by looking at him. But he wasn't sure what he could do to help…until word spread that there has been a lack of space in the OuterNet due to the amount of DeskTop Sticks escaping there for a chance of safety. And it was then that he realized that, hey, Minecraft has been pretty much untouched from Despairs. And why would it be? It's literally just a game. For all everyone knows, both in the Real World and the OuterNet (except for some people in the DeepNet), it's a game that has existed before the Tragedy and can't really be used to spread any sort of propaganda. It's not as if there couldn't be any servers owned by Despairs, but the likelihood of them spending time on a game outside of their free time is pretty low. It wasn't a foolproof place to live in due to mobs and other environmental hazards, not to mention that Mango and Purple need to use a Nether portal to enter the game and the Nether is! Not friendly, to say the least! But it was the only other option they could use, as long as they're able to establish communities in different Minecraft worlds.

So Mango tells Purple of his plan to let Rebel know about his idea to use Minecraft to establish shelters for their fellow Stick people and Purple jumps at the chance to help. They managed to establish contact with Rebel and tell them of their plan secretly as they didn't want word to spread to the DeepNet or the Despairs on where they're putting the Sticks. Rebel is, surprisingly, all for this idea and helps them iron out the details. The first thing Purple does is create an easier path to some of the Nether portals they've already established in the past and create shelters for the sticks, Rebel and their team escorts a group of Sticks to the portal(s), and Mango helps teach the Sticks on how the game works, keep themselves safe, and how to create their resources like food, wood, take care of animals, etc., etc. Due to the danger that the worlds of Minecraft can pose, the three of them often take turns or team up to escort these groups to the shelters and protect them. This plan has worked for a few years and the Stick communities have grown enough to be able to protect themselves, but it seems that the Despairs and the DeepNet have started to catch on to their plan. They've started to follow the refugees to the portals, forcing Rebel, Mango and Purple to block off or even destroy some of the Nether portals they've established to prevent them from following them into the game. Thankfully, they haven't slipped through their defenses…yet.

This plan isn't foolproof but they're trying their best. At least the Despairs don't have the means to destroy the game! (Don't ask Mango about the time he tried to do exactly that. We don't talk about it.)

But yeah, Mango and Purple get to work with Rebel and Purple is kinda awestruck with hanging out with a historical, even legendary, figure and helping them out. Mango also finds it fascinating to work with Rebel but he quickly finds that for all their admirable traits, they can be quite flawed, too. For starters, they are…quite reckless! And tend to run off and act first, think later. Which contrasts with Mango, who tends to be pretty meticulous in his planning, since he had a step-by-step plan he came up with with Purple in AVM Season 3 (with a few, ahem, "missing" details at the time). And it turns out, while Rebel has a bunch of good ideas on paper, they often need help from their group to bring these ideas to life, cause otherwise they can get quite...aimless and may overlook things that they didn't notice. But the fact that they're willing to listen to other people's advice shows their good qualities in leadership as they're able to listen and examine the flaws of their ideas while still holding their ideals up. These two just tend to butt heads a lot due to their contrasting personalities as Mango is constantly trying to keep Rebel from running into trouble headfirst while Rebel is like, "No, we must act now!!"

Basically like this:

Mango: "Okay, first, we have step A, which will lead into Step B and Purple, you can take care of step C-"

Purple: "Uh, Da- I mean, Mango?"

Mango: "Yes, Purple?"

Purple: "Rebel already left."

Mango:

Rebel, running off to fight the Despair in the vicinity to protect a Stick figure:

Basically, Rebel has the passion and skills, but can also be impatient to a fault and can cause a bigger problem by running headlong into it.

Mango has the genius to examine the scenario and plot around the problem, but may not always be able to act quick enough to save lives.

Both mindsets has it's pros but it can also have their cons, and in a situation like the Tragedy, neither side is in the wrong. But it's a tough situation all around that either one can make things messy. But they're trying their best to work with what they got.

And now, to see how one of the scrunkly cats ever is doing during the Tragedy...*Holds up The Chosen One*

Since this takes place after AVA Season 2 where Dark is MIA by the end of it and obviously after AVM Season 3 since Mango and Purple have already gone through their arcs, Chosen is wandering around trying to undo his wrongs as an ex-terrorist. But he's still wanted by the public for his past crimes, which, yeah, that's bad. Makes sense. But unlike most of the public, Chosen believed in Rebel's prediction as he sees them as an inspiration and has been keeping an eye out on any sort of Despairs. So when the first incident happened, he was immediately on it and was the reason why the problem had been taken care of as quickly as it had happened. Unfortunately, though, time quickly proves that as powerful as Chosen is, he cannot be in two places at once (something Rebel can unfortunately relate to). Despair incidents happen one after another, sometimes at the same time, and he struggled to do his part in protecting other people. To make matters worse, those who actually recognized Chosen often freak out and run away or even beg for mercy, still seeing him as a terrorist. Some even blamed him for some of the Despair incidents he helped resolved, and he ends up being labeled as a Despair due to his past, even though he's been trying to do good for others. Which, ow.

And, to make matters worse, Vic is still on his ass by sending the Mercs after him. Just because the Tragedy is happening doesn't mean that he won't give up his goal on getting his revenge on Alan, not realizing that he had gone missing for awhile now. Vic is more or less a neutral party in the Tragedy, with RocketCorp willingly combating against the Despairs but also buying things from them and/or selling things to them if it means advancing his own personal goals. The Mercs help against the Despair incidents but are also waiting for Chosen to appear so they can capture him…

Fun fact: Mango and Purple witnessed Chosen saving them in the first Despair incident before he left without a word as a little setup for future development. ChoKing in my funky little crossover? It's more likely than you think!

At some point, Second convinces Chosen to meet with Rebel to try and establish that hey, he's NOT a Despair, he's actually trying to help everyone so please stop slandering him like this even though he knows his past is shady as fuck. Chosen agrees, albeit hesitantly as he knows that this is a very dangerous thing to do and he's meeting his idol so he's nervous for another reason, too. Surprisingly, Rebel agrees and even planned to go alone but Mango was insistent that no, they shouldn't go alone, even if he and Purple did personally witness him helping others, as they don't know if he succumbed to Despair or not. So they agreed to bring Mango along with them (Purple was told to keep an eye on the shelters with the rest of CG, much to his disappointment).

Ngl, I think their meeting starts off like this:

Second: "Hey, this is Chosen! He's kinda like my brother."

Rebel, blunt: "Your brother is a terrorist?"

Chosen: *Obtains -1000 psychic damage*

Second:

Rebel:

Mango: "…I think you broke him."

Rebel: "Oh, whoops."

Eventually, though, Chosen becomes honest with his experience and says that he looks up to Rebel as it was thanks to their ad that led to their website that he was able to free himself from the abuse Alan treated him with, and reassures them that he's stopped being a terrorist and has been trying to help and prevent more Despair incidents. Rebel, recognizing that he's genuine in his turnaround, does a 180 in their suspicion and is like, "OH, I love redemptions!" and immediately welcomes him into the group. Naturally, no one really likes this or believes in Chosen outside of Second, the Color Gang, and Rebel, while Mango and Purple are quite skeptical of him. Although Purple is more willing to give him a chance…and maybe wants to see his powers in action. Without the danger, this time. But yeah, Rebel recklessly brings him into the group, which causes a ripple effect of anxiety as most people in the Stick community doesn't agree that he's turned over a new leaf. He did, after all, hurt MANY people in the past and whose to say this isn't a ploy in the making? (It isn't but Chosen can only prove himself through action, not words.) This is pretty much how Mango and Chosen officially meet in this crossover.

Obviously, Mango eventually starts to see that Chosen is doing everything in his power to help others and is kinda just…fumbling as he tries to grasp how Minecraft works, which leads to Mango trying to help and teach him. Ngl, what makes this version of their dynamic hilarious is that this grown-ass middle-age man knows far more about Minecraft than a young adult person. Bonus points that the only reason Mango knows so much about Minecraft is because he was trying to destroy Minecraft in the past.

Speaking of Second, chronologically speaking, Second and the Color Gang end up crossing paths with Mango while he's escorting a group of sticks and after everyone gets over their shock of "wow, more people like us!", they ask if Mango is bringing some friends into Minecraft. Mango then realizes that, oh God, these kids do not know what's happening in the OuterNet, oh no, I have to tell them-

Second and the Color Gang are very distraught that essentially no where is safe but after meeting with Rebel, they suggest that they help out as it's made pretty clear that they're experts in Minecraft and that they can help teach and protect the shelters on how to work in Minecraft. Mango is concerned as he doesn't want to put these kids to work, but they all immediately jump at the chance cause they don't want to sit around and wait any more. Not only because doing nothing would make them anxious, but also cause they want to help as much as they can, too. (It also helps distract them from Alan going missing, although they still put in the effort to search for any signs for him.) Mango relents as he knows these kids are just going to do whatever they want, so he might as well support them and give them guidance instead of shutting them down. And Rebel makes a pretty good point that even though they were just minding their own business, the Tragedy still affected them by taking their Creator away from them, even if he's just missing. Whether they like it or not, they're forced to face the Tragedy so they might as well willingly get involved by doing the right thing.

And I think that Second and co. are very good at their respective jobs at helping others and giving them hope. Because, even though they're kids, they're always trying to find ways to keep things together and do the right thing. They may argue and fight sometimes, but in the end, they always come around a common goal and are able to stay positive despite everything. This happens in canon as in many scenarios, they're always having fun while on their adventures, even when things go wrong. As kids, they shouldn't have to go through all of this. But it's also because they're kids that they're able to see the light, the hope, in things and work hard to do their part in helping others in need. And I think AVM Season 4 can be a great way to tie into this crossover:

People are bored and scared out of their wits? How about Yellow sets up a fun-little cart game for people to watch the Color Gang go ham at!

People are starting to get tired of the same food? Blue and co. go on a journey to start a recipe book and establish a food network across the Minecraft world.

People are losing hope? Green holds a concert - which, uh, ends a lot more chaotically than anyone expected, but the rest of the Color Gang don't seem to be too concern.

Heck, even the prank episode can be shown as Red fucking around in his downtime.

(The Lucky Block episode is a pretty self-contained episode as it mostly happens inside the block so a lot of people probably weren't aware of it.)

Second and co. are constantly coming up with ideas to create fun activities and keep everyone's spirits up, making them very successful Symbols of Hope alongside Rebel. Mango and Purple are also considered as symbols as they work side by side with Rebel and were the ones that came up with this Minecraft Shelters in the first place. Chosen is seen as a symbol of Despair at first, but as time goes on after he joins Rebel's cause, public opinion slowly starts to shift in a better light for him. They don't consider him a complete symbol of hope but he's becoming less and less associated with Despair now, which is more than enough for him.

My Mutual: Gee I sure hope nothing fucks this up-

The Mercs:

LIKE, YEAH, THE DESPAIRS ARE BAD, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, VIC HAS HIS OWN GOALS IN MIND-

At some point the Mercs eventually find out that Chosen is in Minecraft and end up creating their own Nether portal, ambushing a shelter and telling Rebel to bring out the "Despair" and RocketCorp will leave them alone. Chosen immediately tries to give himself up instead of fighting back, but Second is like, "No, don't do it!" and Rebel is like, "NUH UH" and immediately runs in to fight the Mercs themselves. They always got bad vibes from RocketCorp and this just confirms their suspicions that they're up to no good, even going as far as to accuse them in supporting the Despairs themselves. Which, they're technically not wrong about, they just don't have concrete evidence beyond them trying to arrest Chosen, which is would be fair in any other circumstance. This results in a 3 VS 4 scenario where Rebel is fighting the Mercs for Chosen's safety, Chosen is just trying to survive and talk down Rebel, and Second, unlike canon where Chosen kinda just plops them into the situation, jumps in as well to protect Chosen, too. Mango and Purple are doing their best to escort the citizens to safety while the Color Gang are about to go down and help as well-

-But, oops! The Despairs are coming through the very portal the Mercs used to enter their Minecraft world! So the Color Gang is forced to split their attention on the Despairs and destroying the Nether portal while Mango and Purple defend the shelters.

The situation does stabilize once the Despairs are taken care of, but the 3V4 fight pretty much ends in the Mercs favor like in canon, except I'm thinking they take Rebel with them? But they might just leave them paused as they just up and leave, lmao. Either way, RocketCorp's reputation is not going to look good cause everyone saw that, although Rebel will certainly get criticized for their choice as well. And the Mercs destroy the Nether portal on the way out, all dramatically before Green could reach the portal and follow after them. They regroup, discuss what the fuck just happened and the Color Gang are tasked with trying to get them back while Mango and Purple try to manage things in the Minecraft shelters.

That's about it for the "main story" but I do have an idea for The Dark Lord:

Basically, The Dark Lord hid away in the DeepNet and has made a living for himself, even if he's frustrated and hurt by being "betrayed" by Chosen. Honestly, I think he'd take part in the Despair terrorism as he was definitely the most gung-ho about the terrorism back then. Like, even though he planned to hurt Alan with his virus, he still enjoyed the terrorism in the past before ever involving him again. He, again, makes more Viruses and shares them with others…and would give them away to the Despairs, too. Hell, I can see Dark taking part in the incidents, leaving whispers of people witnessing a familiar red blur hurting and killing other people…

Chosen is hoping it's not who he thinks it is.

And the minute word spreads about RocketCorp kidnapping Rebel, Second, and Chosen, Dark is immediately raiding it. To help Chosen? To take his revenge? Who knows, it depends on how you want to interpret him and what you wanna see from him after everything he's done.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of thoughts on The Dark Lord for this, he's kinda just doing his own thing. Same with Vic, but they pretty much lean towards Despair.

(And because I have no idea where else to put this, uh, I kinda forgot that Second would be shocked to learn of Chosen's experience with Alan back then when they meet up with Rebel. Like, yeah, he deleted the Color Gang once and threatened to do it again, but after all this time, it feels more like a misunderstanding as Alan clearly did not realize that they were sentient, even if he was pretty callous about it, and started treating them with kindness and respect. They also can't ask Alan about it right now cause, uh, he's missing. 💔 And while making this post, I realized that Second would find out about Chosen's terrorism through Rebel and other citizens…That's gonna be one hell of a conversation between them once they meet up.)

But yeah, that's about it for the time being. And if you're wondering what made me think of this crossover, well...

I stickfigured Teruya and it spiraled from there. He'd basically be our audience surrogate into the OuterNet if I were to ever write a story on this.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶I just came to say hello🎶

Hello! It’s me! 💛! The one who gave you the incredibly hard task of writing for Spooky Jim. You hit that out of the park btw! I loved the angst of it all! Also, the Taco Bell story was super cute! I like the fact that Josh at the end was 100% eavesdropping despite pretending not to. You are such an incredibly talented writer it’s actually insane.

Anyways, I’m going to be selfish and ask for a sequel to the Spooky Jim story. I need to see what happens when Josh and the reader talk again for the first time after the incident. I feel like Josh, like Tyler said, would need some time to be alone and would really be pushing the reader away because he’s just so upset with himself, but the reader doesn’t give up. She continues to text him hoping one day that he’ll actually respond and they can talk. When they finally talk, Josh tells her she shouldn’t forgive him and he’s still really ashamed, but the reader refuses to leave and eventually Josh realizes he’s found someone who will stick with him through the hard times. (Perhaps maybe there can also be a part where Jenna gives her advice on how to deal with Spooky Jim, since she deals with blurryface).

Idk if this makes sense or if you feel up to doing it. I know you might feel like the story has nowhere to go. If you don’t want to do it it’s okay. It’s up to you. ☺️

Spooky Jim - Spooky!Josh x Reader part 2

Relationship: Spooky Jim/Josh × Reader

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1230 - thought this would be perfect for a short blurb type piece so whipped this up in he back of my class lol

A/N: Shortish but at least I got this done quick!! Love ur requests 💛

PART 1

It had been three weeks since I’d talked to Josh. Both Tyler and Jenna had been amazing about letting me stay at their house. The morning after I’d arrived on Tyler’s doorstep he stopped by the house to grab everything I needed for my stay. It took everything in me to not walk home and confront Josh. Jenna had sat me down and explained to me how she dealt with Blurryface. It seemed–despite Tyler having immense control over his demon–that the two personas had a lot in common, especially on the physical front. 

“It scared me at first,” she’d explained, “but I just told him I would never leave and that I was there for him. Honestly, I’ve had to deal with Blurry so many times, he knows who I am and that he’s not allowed to hurt me. I think you should wait for Josh to come back to you–because I know he will–and just explain to him how you feel. That boy loves you Y/N, if he takes time away it’s because he’s scared of hurting you, not because he doesn’t want to be with you.”

“Preach!” Tyler had called from the foyer. 

I knew Tyler and Josh were having regular calls for work and had briefly talked about the incident but Tyler being the best friend he was refused to tell me what they’d talked about. Exactly three weeks after I left the house I sent Josh a message longer than the regular ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m here if you need me’s. Each of those text messages earned me nothing more than a ‘read’ receipt. Tyler told me there was nothing to worry about but in all the time I knew Josh he had never been dry in texts, calls, or real life. 

‘Josh. I know it’s been a while since we’ve properly talked but I miss you. I miss you more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life. You’re my best friend, my person, and no matter what happens between us I’ll always be there for you. I really hope you’re okay. Tyler won’t tell me anything. I love you. I love you more than I love life.’ - Sent

The message was read almost immediately like all of my others. I threw my phone onto the guest bed and brushed my hair, getting dressed for the day. To my surprise, a short vibration sound rang through the room–my phone. I dashed to the bed to check my notifications. Josh. 

‘You should come over.’ 

My heart pounded as I stared at the message. The single message had the power to undo all of my built-up anxiety and hope at the same time. Jenna had been right—he would come back to me, but now that it was happening, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I quickly texted Tyler and Jenna, letting them know Josh had finally responded, before grabbing my jacket and heading out the door. The walk to Josh's place felt both too short and too long. I rehearsed what I was going to say, but nothing seemed good enough. What could I even say after everything that happened? My hand hovered over the door, heart racing. I could hear my own breath, shallow and uneven. What was I supposed to say? What was he going to say? I tried to rehearse a million things in my head, but none of them felt right.

I knocked. A part of me half-hoped he wouldn’t answer, that maybe this was some mistake, and I’d have more time to prepare. But then the door opened, and there he was—Josh. His eyes were tired, dark red circles framing them. He looked like he hadn’t slept well, like the weight of everything was still pressing down on him.

“Hey,” I whispered, unsure if I should move or if he wanted me to. I felt frozen in place.

“Hey,” he replied quietly, stepping aside to let me in. I hesitated for just a second before stepping into the familiar space, the air heavy with everything unsaid.

The silence between us was thick as he closed the door. I stood there awkwardly, unsure where to sit or if I should hug him or… do anything. He walked into the living room, and I followed, settling on the couch opposite him. The distance between us felt like miles, even though it was just a couple of feet.

Josh stared at the floor, and for a moment, I thought maybe he wasn’t going to speak. The silence was deafening. Finally, he let out a long, shaky breath.

“You shouldn’t have forgiven me,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t deserve it.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he kept going, eyes still glued to the floor. “I messed up, Y/N. I should’ve controlled it, I should’ve been better. And I... I hurt you.” His voice cracked, and he ran a hand through his hair, clearly battling with himself. “I can’t live with knowing that I hurt you like that. I–I could’ve killed you.” I wanted to hold him. Sitting there, watching tears well in his eyes broke my heart into 1,000 pieces. “I don’t... I don’t even know how to fix this.”

I wanted to reach out to him, to close the distance, but I didn’t. Not yet. “Josh,” I started, keeping my voice steady. “You didn’t lose me. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He shook his head. “But you should. You deserve someone who doesn’t have this... thing. Someone normal, who doesn’t have to fight himself all the time.”

I scooted forward, closing the gap between us slightly. “I don’t care about normal. I care about you.” My voice was firmer now. “Jenna told me how she deals with Blurryface. And... I’m here for you, Josh. I’m not afraid of Spooky Jim. I’m afraid of losing you.”

His head snapped up at that, finally looking me in the eyes. “You don’t understand,” he said, but his voice was weaker now, as if some of the walls he’d built were crumbling. “I can’t control it all the time. What if next time I can’t—what if I hurt you worse?”

“I’m not leaving,” I said, cutting him off before he could spiral further. “I love you, Josh. I’ve loved you through everything, and I’m not giving up on you now just because things are hard. I’m here. You don’t have to fight this alone.”

His face crumpled, and for a moment, I thought he might cry. Instead, he just sat there, staring at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, voice hoarse.

I moved to sit beside him, finally reaching out to take his hand. He tensed for a moment, but then his fingers curled around mine. “Maybe not,” I said softly, “but that doesn’t change anything.”

For a long moment, we just sat there, holding onto each other. Neither of us said anything, but we didn’t need to. I wasn’t leaving, and he knew it. Slowly, the tension in his shoulders eased, like some of the weight he’d been carrying for weeks had started to lift.

Eventually, he spoke again, his voice quiet but clearer now. “I don’t know how to fix this... but I want to try.”

I squeezed his hand. “We’ll figure it out together.”

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

Hello Anika! I've been a follower of yours for a long time and it makes me happy to see you posting again. I'm so grateful for the time you put into sharing the love for Victor through your translations! I just got back into the game after a hiatus, and I was wondering if you knew the ending to the story in Victor's Mini-House? I can't find it on Youtube and won't be able to unlock the last exclusive memory for a while. Thank you so much :))

hellooo!! (⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠*⁠) haha thank you so much for sticking around despite my inactivity around here tbh i had to seek refuge here b/c melon husk put my account in twitter jail again jsjsjs 😒 and welcome back!! ( っ˶´ ˘ `)っ♡

yes! the last exclusive memories series for the mini-house was updated back in 2022 on CN server. and of course, we kiss and make up haha (literally btw 😆). Li Zeyan’s mini house stories actually did a great job at showing us the “real” picture of living together with another person and how you’re bound to have some little head-butts here and there lol doesn’t matter how madly in love you’re with the other person. they also showed us why Li Zeyan and his MC never really had disputes since that incident, and it’s b/c they “communicate” openly and frankly and b/c Li Zeyan treats his wife’s words as the paramount law lmao happy wife happy life (he said so himself btw) 😂

i’m not translating it since global server already got that update. i took a look at the translation, and it’s not too bad lol. so, i recorded it for you: ♡

hope this answered your questions~ 🫶

—

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

[euthyami]

You should do some doodles with ambriel! I think their (not about ambriels pronouns) character design is neat but I didn't find much about them in your blog so far.

Maybe doodle them eating their favorite food or show what do they do in their free time?

ambriel answers!! also his pronouns are he/him!! he's an autistic trans man (hence him having a weird relationship with food, he also likes plain food and has a sweet tooth, he learns to bake in his free time too!)

i've decided to ramble about his general backstory and hints for the show dream zone as this is an actual show i've managed to somewhat create to fit the nicktoons timeline!!!

(also tysm for asking abt him he's my pride and joy and i have way too many notes app pages abt dream zone)

here some facts about him

- he stars in the show 'dream zone' which ran from 2002-2004, his previous hero persona, known as metzli, is inspired by the magical girl aesthetic. his goal is to keep the town of hollowbury safe from the dream zone.

- the trio that most nick shows have also happen within dream zone! ambriel, vinnie and rosalind :D (he does go by a different name, his deadname, but i will call him ambriel throughout this.)

- the dream zone, despite it's nice sounding name, is a dangerous beast, as has claimed many victims, whether missing persons or death itself. the show's finale ends with one of ambriel's friends vinnie dying within the dream zone (by accident), which causes him to die in real life.

-(this is also the incident that gave ambriel his scar on his forehead, which is basically a crack of reality that he can twist and break to his will, how he has one of his attacks, his mind sword.)

- ambriel then goes into hiding and quits the superhero gig. he becomes depressed and traumatised and lives a hermit life. literally faking his death to get away from it all.

- it's not until a portal that reappears every june 26th, (the day nicktoons unite game takes place), he goes in after not going in the time before because he thought it would be too dangerous, and then he meets the nicktoons gang after ending up in jimmy's lab

- the portal was made by jimmy recruiting heroes for nicktoons unite. it reappears every year due to some mishap- but it's not until years later ambriel actually goes through.

- after that, he decides to welcome his dream abilities again, after suppressing his powers for years, and fights alongside the nicktoons gang, renaming himself ayauha also known as ayauhteo (all based on aztec mythology btw).

- that's all for now because i don't wanna infodump everything but there's a lot of information about this i could go into detail !! but thank you for listening if you make it this far !!