#actual comfort not Nick's creepy shit

[just-another-author-i-guess]

A little collection of fun things Judd does

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, pyromania?, just Judd things yk, maybe he should be a warning in himself, there’s like one brief mention of sex, generally creepy behavior, Judd being an unironic edge lord, author was sleep deprived

Playlist: I made him a fun little playlist, I tried very hard not to be biased and add songs I actually think he’d listen to instead of just songs I like lol

But! if you’d like to listen to some of Judd’s jams, you can do so HERE

Summary: part 2 to my Judd hc’s, read part one HERE

Author’s note: this,, just came to me. I’ve been taking random thoughts I had about Judd and added them to a docs document, and would you look at that! These hc’s wrote themselves! I think I babygirlyfied him a little bit, but yk what? He is my baby girl 💪

Just Judd things

Word count; 1,9K

Judd birch is known for many things, one of them being his smell

He always smells a bit.. funny

Not bad, just kinda like raccoons and alcohol, it’s an interesting smell

Often he also smells like some kinda polish, either because he’s been polishing his car or his knives

I’m sorry if I ruin y’all’s illusion, but he DOES NOT shower unless absolutely necessary

He only really showers if someone (probably you or his mom lol) tells him to, or if he had a particularly sweaty workout

Also, he would never admit this but sometimes he showers just to impress you

Always carries that certain Judd musk yk

He’s also one of those guys who washes their face like once every full moon but somehow still has flawless skin

If you ever convinced him to let you do his eyeliner, he would also not wash it off, just let it sit there and bake unless you washed it off for him

Anyways

Judd is mean as hell, a gaping asshole in his own words

But, he does respect his family somewhat

Even loves them a bit, if he’s being completely honest

Especially Diane

He holds a strong sense of respect for his mom, way more than his dad

It’s not like he’s gonna stop making low key misogynistic jokes for shits and giggles, but he often tries to dial back the cursing in front of her

Like he values her opinions and praise of him the most out of his family

He’s also super protective, mostly of his younger siblings

Like I mentioned before, he definitely has that kinda “edgy” humour

The guy probably says a lot of controversial stuff just to get a reaction

He literally pretends not to be a feminist just to piss off leah

(In reality, he genuinely doesn’t give one single shit about feminism)

Likewise he also just disagrees with whatever his family says just because they said it

But he will not hesitate to physically or verbally beat anyone who starts shit with his siblings

Forget all about is asshole-ness and such, he will obliterate anyone who hurt his siblings

Only he’s allowed to fuck with them lol

When he told Nick “you’ll die when I say you die” he really meant it

He actually also values the raccoons quite a bit

When he goes on his drunken rambles, they’re always there to listen yk

He has friends,, kinda, like he has people he tolerates more than others but he honestly doesn’t mind doing things alone

He enjoys his own company

But also the raccoons

It’s like a mentally unstable girl and her support cat, Judd just has his gang of raccoons

(He tells them all his secrets)

I feel like he would genuinely enjoy the company of an animal way more than people, not limited to raccoons

But he’s not nice to them, he’s never nice to anyone he cares about

He’s just doesn’t grasp the idea, being nice verbally means nothing to him

He’s a man of physical and action-based affirmations

It’s the little things that counts for him

Unless he knows someone who values affirming words, ect his family or girlfriend, he will very rarely go out of his comfort zone to grant them such

He’s so awkward verbally stating his feelings too omg,,

“Dad.. I.. love you..?” He’s like that each time he tries to come across as sincere, it’s like he’s questioning it as he’s speaking lol

He was like that as a kid too, he’s always just enjoyed creeping people out

He takes pride in his weirdness

The guy is very morally grey, the only thing he truly wants ever is the cause chaos

Or inflicting stress/pain on his siblings somehow

He doesn’t rough Leah up like he would with Nick, but he knows just how to get into her head

That’s another thing, he knows everyone’s business

Literally

Between hiding in the vents, being the designated dealer in town and generally the quiet kid in school, he knows what everyone’s up to

Even Nick and Leah’s friends

Knows all their names too

His parents definitely took him to a psychiatrist when he was younger, he was a very difficult child to deal with

Think gremlin meets Chucky

That’s baby Judd

His parents supported him though, and still do

Elliot especially tries to take interest in whatever Judd likes, bands, movies, setting things on fire, ect

Also, music wise, I think he’d really like the misfits

Probably also three days grace and oooh, definitely rob zombie

He just strikes me as that kinda guy

But also, he doesn’t know shit about the hands he listens to

He doesn't care enough to get into the people behind the music, you could literally ask him who’s in the band who wrote his favourite song and he wouldn’t know

Takes the term “separate the art from the artist” to a whole new level

If he doesn’t listen to music, he’s the type of dude to literally put “horror movie ambience” or “pov you’re getting murdered asmr” on or whatever the fuck

Also, he’s the type to strictly listen to music on YouTube, with adds because he doesn’t want to pay

He only has burner phones anyways, so he has to listen to music on his computer or whatever, he has a shit ton of obscure cd’s in his car though that he listens to as well

And on the topic of phones, because of his less than usual choice, literally no one has his number

Probably only Leah has his number? I feel like he’d only give it to her and maybe his girlfriend if you’re lucky

Leah has to text him like “mom says dinner is ready in 10” or “dad told me to text you to please come home soon” stuff like that, and she’s so done with it

He somehow has everyone’s number though

You’ll randomly get a text if he needs you, and he never tells you who it’s from

He will literally text you “I’m in your house” without any disclosure

Maybe he’ll add a few blurry pictures of something in your house as well

Oh but if he’s actually trying to scare you, expect pictures he took of rotting roadkill or a bloody ziplock back or something he found

He just loves gore and violence <3

Another thing he really, really, enjoys is scaring people

He deliberately hides behind doors or curtains to scare his family, he’s also really good at just being super silent?

If he doesn’t want to be found, you’re not gonna find him

If you sleep over at his house and use the bathroom by his room to brush your teeth, the fucker will be standing behind you in the mirror when you come up from rinsing your mouth

He scares those he cares about, what can I say

Well he also scares everyone else, he’s kinda feral

As I said before, it’s not like he doesn’t socialise at all, bc like, he’s literally everyone’s dealer

Idek where he gets his stuff from, but everyone knows Leah and Nick as Judd’s little siblings because they have bought from him one time or another

Not only limited to drugs, he also always has alcohol

(He robbed a liquor store)

Somehow they never found out it was him?? Even though it’s exceedingly obvious and he keeps doing it every other week or so

Some of your dates casually turns into “hey let’s rob a store” and it’s actually so chill

As a consequence of his never ending supply of Jack Daniel’s, he’s like chronically hung over

Always kinda tired and complaining that his head hurts

Literally has a hangover 6 out of 7 days of the week

He also has a bit of a pyromaniac streak

Sometimes buildings in town just sorta,, burn down

I feel like people in town know it’s Judd, but the police force is actually useless so again, he never gets caught

Actually he got caught once, because he was high and accidentally left a lighter at the crime scene

It was before he turned 18 though, so he got no major consequences besides like a night in jail and being grounded for a really long time

I imagine that might have been why he ran away? Man’s didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of his own consequences

He actually really likes consequences of things, just not when it actually turns out to be inconvenient for him

But like, he’s really fascinated by watching things slowly unfold if yk what I mean

He’s quite a patient guy, he literally had the patience to train a whole ass battalion of raccoons

But my point is, he can wait a long periods of time while plotting his sinister plans

He’s a supervillain at heart fr

And as I said before, he exists to cause chaos

I feel like he would literally worship the chaos theory, and he would definitely mansplain it to you

Judd doesn’t believe in god, but he believes in the chaos theory

That’s probably why he’s so into horror, but like a certain kind

He doesn’t really care too much about paranormal or psychological horror

He still watches it, but it’s just not his favourite

What he really loves, is the gorefests

Murderporn if you will

He lives and breathes bloody slasher movies, where people get pointlessly murdered left and right

Literally the more gritty the better

Especially if it’s one of those where all the women gets murdered with their tits out

Horror movies makes him horny help—

No but actually, he’s so annoying to watch them with, because even if it’s a movie he likes HE WILL NOT STOP COMMENTING

starts muttering every other minute about how that flesh wound is not realistic and how it would actually look

How does he know this? You don’t want to ask

But back to the horny part, if you’re dating him, you almost always fuck to horror movies instead of music

If Judd puts on a horror movie, yk what he’s initiating

It’s either that, or he lets you choose the music in his car

Two very subtle, but yet very clear demands of what he wants

Another thing, he loves when you scratch him up

On his chest, on his back, anywhere

Just having those long, red nail marks on his skin does stuff to him

The same with leaving marks on you, he’s so into it

He needs you to be absolutely as bitten and bruised up as you can possibly be

And it doesn’t limit to you, no, no please, bite him back

He’ll love it

(People around you are slightly concerned)

Now I’ve just listed a bunch of things he likes, but like whatever he’s doing, he’s gonna seem super indifferent

He’s just,,, always scowling

My man’s not coded to show joy

Wait okay no, but like he can smile, it just looks unnatural lol

Sometimes, he even laughs (mainly when others are in misery)

But generally, he’s just pretty stoic

And also, he doesn’t truly have that many opinions on stuff

He literally doesn’t care, but that’s kinda expected for someone who’s biggest wish is to go permanently off the grid

Like, he could be delivered the deadliest insult ever, or see a house burning down or something and he would still be like ._.

It takes quite a lot to get him to move his face muscles, is what I’m saying

Generally, it’s gonna take a lot to get him to care about anything

Wow 🤩 more judd headcannons

These were a bit pointless ig, but I enjoyed making them haha, I hope you enjoyed it! And if you listened to the playlist, I hope that was alright too 💪

Tags: @dlfvrr @bxbyyyjocelyn

[nellis-is-best]

Definitely Mysterious Anon, how about... the gang COUGH Ellis winning the gnome at the park and Nick somehow being the one to get stuck carrying it around all day like the oversized carnival plushie your partner got tired of holding oh shit wait you have anon disabled my cover is blown lmao

Haiii Lys :) I can definitely do that!

After a trek through a cluttered highway, a wreck of a motel, and up and down a hill, Nick, Ellis, Rochelle, and Coach were plum-tuckered out. Sweaty and exhausted, Ellis slides down the wall of the saferoom, pulling his hat off of his head to reveal his bad hat hair and curly locs dripping with sweat. He used his hat to fan his face and whistled. His bottom hit the floor with a *bump* and he began to gesture to Coach.

“Man, Coach… that was a good call on your end. Goddamn Whisperin’ Oaks… I can’t believe it, it’s been way too long since I been here. Woo!” He leaned his head back against the siding on the wall.

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t get too distracted by the flashing lights, ya’ goddamn five-year-old. There’s still ZOMBIES!” Nick chimed in, slicking his sweaty hair back, insisting on not losing the suit. Real smart.

“You know, Nick, you got a real attitude and I’mma bet that they don’t tolerate all that sourpuss talk in Whisperin’ Oaks.” Ellis quipped, smiling wryly and closing his eyes while Nick rolled his as an implied ‘whatever, overalls…’

Taking an hour rest from the running, they passed around a bag of chips that they had picked up from a smashed vending machine in the motel lobby. It had really hit the spot, as comforting junk food was becoming few and far between, and Coach and Rochelle had begun to talk about popcorn and cotton candy. They showed excitement for there possibly still being some left in the park.

After their rest, they reloaded their guns, patched themselves up, and busted open the door to the entrance of the park. They mowed down the zombies lingering underneath the sign and stepped through the gates. Already having driven attention to themselves, a meak horde assembled and meandered over to the survivors, who took them down with ease.

Ellis looked around in wonder, taking in the nostalgia brought by the sight of his favorite childhood amusement park, though now a zombie factory. Catching his eye was a lit up game, and next to it, a red box with a little face seen through a heart-shaped cut out on the door. His eyes widened, his jaw fell to the floor- he didn’t know he would ACTUALLY be able to PLAY any of the games, assuming it was now defunct.

He ran over, to the dismay of his friends who much rather to stick together than bolt to the first shiny thing they see. Although the world was now rather bleak, they could never find an Ellis-level of excitement for a carnival game. They made their way over and Nick put a hand on Ellis’ upper arm.

“Like I said, five. year. old.” Nick rolled his eyes.

Ellis didn’t look at him. “Awe, shut up, man, and help me win ‘im!” His head whipped to the left, where an authentic Gnome Chompski was encased.

Nick’s eyes widened as they made contact with the creepy garden gnome. But, if it would keep Ellis from getting further distracted later on in the park, it was worth a shot.

Ellis pushed the big red button, something he most likely always wanted to do, and splattered the moving targets with bullets. The others occasionally chimed in, but letting Ellis have his fun… and chaos. Perhaps he had snapped, his excitement pouring out of him like the bullets from his gun while he held down the trigger. After a short game, the red box holding the gnome lit up and played a small tune. Ellis rushed over and grabbed him.

“Y’all we have GOT to take him with us!” Ellis said, his mouth wide open as he examined the gnome. “Really, I never got one when I was little on account of my mama wouldn’t let me hold a gun just yet, but geez, he is somethin’ else! Shit!”

Rochelle stepped towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Ellis, sweetie, I don’t think I ever could’ve imagined someone so… excited over a gnome. But, I mean I suppose we could… bring it along?” Rochelle’s pitch grew with each letter, and she looked over to the others for approval. They nodded hesitantly as Coach rubbed his neck.

“Alright, then. Let’s… get a move on y’all…” He was a bit unsettled by the gnome, but it wasn’t the creepiest gnome he had seen before, and he was sure he could get used to it. It was… cute almost…

(More to be added in a reblog hehe)

[sapphire-weapon]

My favorite moments from the remake:

When Leon entered the throne room and even though he was surrounded by enemies he didn't give a shit, he immediately asked Ashley if she wasn't hurt. And Ashley who was about to be subjected to that creepy ritual from the moment she saw Leon enter the room she only cared about him. ❤️

Not to mention when Leon looked up and says, "Hang in there Ashley, I'm coming for you" with that completely serious and determined expression. ❤️

The contrast of Leon being a complete badass, slaying hordes of enemies and a freaking armored giant straight out of Lord of the Rings, only for as soon as he found Ashley crying, his tender side came out to comfort her. ❤️

The way Salazar says Ashley is Leon's princess on more than one occasion. ❤️

The way he strokes her head in the lab. ❤️

And of course, the way Leon went absolutely ballistic when Saddler touched Ashley. ❤️

How after all these moments are some people saying that they're "like brothers" or that there's "no romantic tension between them"? Are we playing the same damn game? 😂

That first one is like the cinematic parallel to the gameplay moment in the hedge maze, when you're up in the one tower and you hit the lever and then a bunch of dudes come out and go straight for Ashley. This might be such a weird and minor thing to point out, but Nick did such a good job with his delivery of Leon's lines in that moment, because he sounded so panicked that I started to panic.

And my brain is like "you've beat the original version of this game no fewer than 20 times what the fuck are you worried about" but I'm like NO THEY'RE GONNA GET HER I SUCK I FAILED HER

I remember an anon a while ago saying that Leon touches Ashley like she's the only thing keeping him going, and like -- not only is that actually true, but RE4make did a really good job at putting her directly in the center of his world and his focus.

What drives me up the wall is people being like "Leon's just doing his job."

Homie, no. We've seen what Leon "just doing his job" looks like in relation to other people. It looks like his relationship with Helena in RE6. To say that the way that he treats/regards Ashley in RE4make is comparable to his relationship with Helena isn't just disingenuous, it's pretty much just an outright lie at that point.

[abucketofweird]

Heartstopper Live Reaction: Ep. 7 Sorry

Ep 7: Sorry

- THE FOKELORE POSTER IN TARA’S ROOM

- Ben just leave him alone jeez

- Awww Elle’s gonna get to be in here and queer for her art

- Tao’s mom is so adorable

- The angst is gonna kill me

- FAMILIES TOGETHER IK HOW THIS GOES ITS GONNA BE BADDDD

- yesss nicks mom get David’s ass

- I’m definitely sad Charlie and Tori’s little brother isn’t in the show

- But I get why with time

- Oh bby Darcy I’m so sorry your home life is shit it seems

- The automatic assumption abt a kiss it’s rough

- I don’t think Darcy is going to be comfortable in a suit with her family probably being homophobic

- DARCY IN THE CROCS I CANT

- everyone lending her money is so sweet

- Oh Issac thank you for representing how it feels to be aroace

- NOTHING IS WRONG WITH U BBY

- NOT THE RIGHT PERSON LINE THATS NOT WHAT U SAY

- I’ve been crying since the last so with Issac

- Issac honey I understand completely

- Expect a whole Issac post once I get emotionally ready to talk abt it

- That realization is so real I can’t

- he’s figuring out that other people feel the same way

- Oh Imogen u were so close but ur the token straight (maybe)

- Her art is def going to be abt Tao

- JESUS BEN GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU ARE SO CREEPY

- at least he apologized a little

- I still hate him

- YAY NO MORE BEN

- being messed up doesn’t give u the permission to be an ass and treat ppl horribly

- YESSS CHARLIE YOU ARE AMAZING

- AGAIN CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT

- YOU NEVER HAVE TO FORGIVE SOMEONE

- SORRY DOENT MAKE IT UP

- thank god his “redemption” we were scared of didn’t happen

- The little ocean bit was such a good addition

- Here comes the shit show

- Nick doesn’t owe him anything that’s right Sarah

- Tori is so annoyed with David I love it

- YES TORI I LOVE YOU

- Awww Nick you deserve to be honest

- SARAH IS A QUEEN I LOVE YOU OLIVIA COLMEN

- show don’t tell your actions are more than words

- I like that they showed David not being important to his dad too

- At least dad is being nice abt the bi thing

- GET HIM TORI

- Oh Darcy you deserve so much better

- the angst was real

This episode is probably the most angsty one this season! So much happened that was amazingly great and sad!! The words aromantic asexual were actually spoken on a tv show with millions of viewers!!!! That really got me and how he felt abt the discovery was so relatable!!! Issac had such a similar experience with his identity that I had so it’s really great for me to see that!!! The whole dinner scene was amazingly done!!! Nick was amazing and his father needed to hear them!!! He isn’t a dad and he can’t judge Nick!!! Tori was just THE BEST!!! And Darcy’s home life is finally being revealed!!!

100/10

[pretty-face-breaker]

The smell of sandalwood filled Hayko’s lungs as Vlad passed his hand over his face, soothing, paternal, and in a way in which he wished would last the entire night, or forever. Or until he died of this damn infection. Everything felt like hell, from his sinuses to his eyes - god his eyes burned so bad - and sickly cold sweat practically fused his clothes into his skin. Pure misery that he felt was some sick joke being played on him by a higher power.

Sickness makes you delirious. 

But the one thing that made up for it was the Russian’s suspiciously gentle knuckles running back and forth against his forehead, each bump of bone having something of a cooling effect that relaxed him into the hold, his head in Vlad’s lap. “Volodya,” Hayko rasped, clearing his throat and looking up at the tall man who in turn looked down, “Can you take that vase over there?” 

“Eh, what for...if I may?” 

“...Hit me as hard as you can so I can fuckin’ pass out, please.” 

Vlad gaped and dissolved into quiet laughter, to his friend’s displeasure, smoothing a hand over his damp mess of brown curls that was splayed over his jeans. “Come on man, it cannot be that bad.” 

“And who’re you to say it can’t be zat behd, huh?” Hayko mimicked with a sliver of annoyed irony. “I feel like a truck...ran over me and then I fell into a vault of acid and then,” he squeezed his eyes shut, groaning, “somehow lit on fire? And then the vault exploded.” 

Hayko continued the vivid description even if he couldn’t hear himself over Vlad’s hysterical hiccups of laughter, eventually submitting to them himself. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he wheezed as he tried to push himself off the couch, his strength giving out within seconds of the attempt. 

“I-I am,” Vlad made out between laughs before eventually composing himself. “Gospodi, how did you even get this sick?” His arms reached around Hayko’s shoulder, easing his head back into his lap which earned a frustrated groan from the man. “Did someone sneeze into your mouth or something?” 

“Gross...and I don’t wanna think about it,” he mumbled back, “Just wanna sleep and never wake up, and those assholes didn’t even give me the day off. Wait until I get my hands on those pretty machine guns they’re parading around all day and then I’ll take my damn sick day.” Hayko continued to mutter breathlessly, turning on his side so that his forehead was away from Vlad. “You don’t, um...have to, you know...”

“Yeah yeah no,” Vlad said quickly, “It is no problem, really. You look like you need ah...someone right now, so.” 

Hayko tried to swallow the choked up words of gratitude but the ache in his throat was so deeply agonizing that he stopped before he took the chance. Something akin to thank you or nobody deserves you man. 

Or I love you. 

But instead he made a raspy noise of acknowledgement and inhaled slowly, letting himself be gently lulled away from the living room they sat in, away from the house, away from the world. 

Like he was floating into the embrace of unconsciousness with each time Vlad’s fingertips brushed his hair behind his ears. It was a familiar feeling, having his hair played with, but not like this. This was different.

This was safe. 

If only it was always this safe. 

Tagging: @doveotions for these boys having a happy time for once  

who’s the last person that held your whumpee while they were miserably sick?

[yarnprism]

Aigh since the Six brainrot is not subsiding we’re doing this again. You know the drill, a mix of normal and tk headcanons as usual.

SIX/INTRUDER HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Speaking of stealing food and shit, he can eat as much as he wants but somehow never really gains weight. He’s still unnaturally skinny. Bro could eat a full course meal, and you’d still see his ribs.

Six loves being creepy/scary and will do anything he can to scare his victims. From manically laughing, to displaying horrifying shit on electronic screens. Not too horrifying to cause trauma but horrifying enough for there to be a “WHAT THE FUCK” type reaction. He’s more of a jumpscare kind of guy. Popping out from behind corners and walls, playing loud sounds from electronics, or partially sticking himself out of the tv to get in his victim’s face.

He’s very tall and lanky, around 6’7 in height. Despite that he’s one of the shortest alternates.

Okay remember what I said about his laugh being wheezy and shit? Six will actually start coughing if you tickle him for a little too long. Fuckin old ass-

He barely knows how to shave and always nicks himself when he tries.

Six will always countlessly deny being ticklish but in a more frantic way than Gabriel would. I mean frantic as in getting so heavily defensive about it that it’s blatantly obvious that he’s lying. It’s easy to call his bluff though by skittering your fingers under his arms.

He’s always chilling with hoodie because it provides protection for most of his tickle spots, but under that he’s just wearing a tank top.

Like most alternates, Six is able to contort his face to smile unnaturally wide. That’s actually a scare tactic that he uses most of the time.

Despite being nearly skin and bones, he’s pretty strong. Six is able to lift anyone with one arm and zero effort.

Speaking of which, he actually prefers to tickle his lees by lifting them up by one arm and FUCKING GETTING their sides and underarms along with their stomach.

He cackles along with his lee whilst they laugh.

“Hah! I know you humans are soft and sensitive but I didn’t think it’d be this bad! Look at you! And I’ve barely even started!”

Six is a bit of an evil ler but he will comfort you afterwards with hugs and cuddles (if you’re alright with it) to make sure you’re alright and not dying before retreating back into The TV™️

[pretty-face-breaker]

Thought We Understood Each Other

c.w. creepy whumper, electrocuting someone unconscious, whumpee going behind whumper’s back and paying the price, possessive physical touch/indirect threat of violence  

Following up Santiago’s escape. 

——

It took him six hours to get home but for Hayko, the time passed as if he was wading through it, never stopping to take a breath. He drove with a grip on the steering wheel that left his hands so cold despite the buildup of sweat against the rubber. The air was murky and the roads were murky and though he was there, there seemed to be a thick fog severing his mind and eyes. 

That didn’t stop him from thinking about Santiago. 

It only kept him adrift. 

Once Hayko turned that final corner that led up to Nick’s condo, he wondered how he even managed to get home in one piece. Had he even… waited at the red lights? But as soon as the realization of being not fully present had kicked in, he was adrift again. Each step up the stairs-

-and he did take the stairs. All seven floors worth, far from recognition. 

Each step knocked his heart down further and further into his stomach because for once, unimaginably, he was actually guilty. Hayko was guilty of what before would have seemed like suicide but now had happened—Santiago was gone that fast. He had shut out any voices that whispered the potential that he hadn’t made it across the border since he started driving home.

Step. Step. Step. Soft little clacks in evenly spaced intervals. Hayko’s movements were mechanical, breaths shallow, lips immobile but he could register at one point that he was praying in Armenian. It was for a lot of things from Santiago’s safety, to Vladimir’s own, to the possibility that maybe, by the grace of some god he couldn’t believe in anymore, all of them would be alright. 

As the next request left him in a breath, his leg buzzed once and he jumped in nervous surprise. In a stairwell, close to the seventh floor holding that one door, his phone was ringing. Hayko didn’t look at the name as he slid to accept the call and pulled it to his ear. “Hello?...” he asked tentatively. 

“Running late?” came the reply and he suppressed a shiver. 

“Yeah, I’m almost up, just a few more minutes,” Hayko spoke, pooling the remainder of his energy into keeping his voice as steady as Santiago would have wanted. “Sorry, thought it would’ve taken less—” His breathing stuttered as Nick cut him off. 

“I don’t expect you to start talking until you’re up here.” 

There had rarely been times when Hayko hadn’t been terrified of his voice, the jarring candidness of it shaking him to his core but especially now, where the only way was up, as the stairs below him seemed to be falling away one by one as his heels left them, no terror had ever come close to this one. He wondered whether to shoot Vladimir a concise Get out right fucking now text but knew that was out of the question. 

Hayko knew he would never leave without finding him first. 

“Still there?” Nick asked over the line, snapping Hayko out of his trance and he quickly croaked out a grim yes moments before it clicked off, Nick’s way of hurrying him. He absently stared up the final flight and was mildly horrified as he felt his regret devolving to stupid courage to take another step, and another.

Decisions had been a liberty for him, at least for the past year.

It’s just that this one had consequences that may not just sit skin deep. 

Finally, Hayko pushed open the door to the hallway and watched the number of the one further away get closer by the second—he could never remember the three digit marking on the wood, only the shape of it. 

That and what lay behind it. 

It was such a lousy barrier, this door. And he couldn’t bring himself to open it without first fumbling for his phone. 

He realized his hands were shaking when he scrolled for Vladimir’s contact and typed out ���If you don’t hear from me for a bit, don’t worry. He’s out.” 

And then the door opened. 

Hayko’s eyes snapped up as he stuffed the phone away in his jeans and he started to form a greeting but by the way Nick was looking at him, he probably didn’t want to hear it as much as he wanted him inside where he could have him completely. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. 

He waited diligently for Nick’s arm to slide off the frame as his invitation inside. Every muscle in his body contracted as the door slid shut and locked—though, there was a delay. It took every fibre of his being to stay calm, for his own sake. 

At this point, Hayko knew Nick wouldn’t pity him for his fear as he had mastered how to mute it just so he wouldn’t have to. He hated it when Nick pitied him, would rather he just got it over with instead. He pulled off his jacket and went for the wooden rack, expecting to be stopped but Nick only watched him hang it up and then slip off his shoes. 

Hayko stammered at last, “It took longer than I-I thought it would.” Cursed himself for not holding up any longer. “There was… some traffic here and there and—... I made a few stops for tea and…” He glanced up and gulped at the wolfish smile Nick was now wearing. 

“You know,” Nick started, a hint of laughter in his voice, “you lie better in court than you do out of it.” He stalked over and Hayko braced himself for whatever was next. Nick took his palm and pressed it to Hayko’s chest, not so much as shoving as it was pushing him back right until his head hit the wall. 

Hayko didn’t respond, hoping staring up at him with lost, pleading eyes was enough. He shuddered at the tickle of knuckles tracing down his cheek and the next snort made him want to curl in on himself. Please, just do something already and let my fucking nerves calm down.

“You can lie to me, you do it all the time,” Nick continued. “Not like there’s a point though. You’re a pretty shit liar.”  

God, please. Please please please

Hayko swallowed thickly but his breathing really hitched when he heard the faint buzz of the phone in his jacket. He looked to Nick rapidly to see whether he heard as well but the taller man was still eyeing him, trying to pull it out of him, trying to wring him like a cloth, but Hayko had prepared for any interrogation. Had his lines and excuses chronological and ready.

“Why do you think I’m lying?” he asked. Feeling how close Nick’s breath was fanning on his face, he tipped his head back further. Don’t do this, don’t do this now 

Nick watched him thoughtfully. “You look afraid.”  

“Always,” he corrected. “I always look-... like that.” Please, please, please

A clever smile pulled at the corners of his mouth and Nick inched off the wall, muttered “Good point” and Hayko was left to catch his breath quietly, fingers tapping away at the wall behind him to dispense of the grueling anxiety and near-euphoric relief. At the same time, he was skeptical under the surface but that surface was thick with exhaustion and tension and fear enough for where the hell his friend had gone and whether he was even alive and whether it was worth anything. 

It will always be worth it. 

These are the only parts of you that you have left.  

A chaste reminder. A welcome one.

Nick had a track going, something smooth and ‘60s in the living room and he turned to beckon Hayko to come in as well. “Don’t just stand there, love. I’ve backed off haven’t I?” He laughed easily and went towards the desk holding the radio to change the track. Hayko thought it strange he would as he’d heard this song before—one of his favourites. 

Nick was entirely right. He had backed off, by some miracle. Hayko began to think that the prayer had worked and that this was a shot at redemption. Of course, he wouldn’t have known. He hadn’t told him anything about it, only implied he would be late until the night before, gone quietly and returned just as quietly albeit a little later. Only that part was a real fib. 

He tore himself from the wall and made after Nick, discomforted by the calmness but quickly assuaged that fear. It was irrational. Told himself that it was over, it was alright, and to take his good graces and just last the night before he could just forget for a few hours. 

He wouldn’t know. There wouldn’t be a way for him to know, there wouldn’t. 

He wouldn’t know because it’s not possible. 

It’s not possible because I tried too fucking hard just to get him across the border, fucking hell, let me have this one thing, let me have it I haven’t asked you for anything else, have I? Just let me have this, please

Hayko felt comfortable all of a sudden, the music cushioning his thoughts as he went to slide onto the couch until he realized that, here a moment before, Nick was gone again. 

“Hey, where did—” As he turned to call Nick back, he was already there and Hayko froze. Caught the cattle prod only for a fraction of a second before Nick grabbed him and pressed it into his chest, sending a tearing shock that kept his eyes wide in an immobile stare as each wave jerked through his limbs, ripped a new line of agony and lit up every nerve in his body. 

It went on for two, three agonizing seconds and his hand kept him there.

No no no  

Santiago

The last glance he caught of Nick’s face was the final blow. 

A laugh from the man who finally tore it away, letting Hayko collapse before nudging his forehead with his shoe. “You fucking idiot. And here I thought we understood each other.” 

——

Tagging @doveotions @heathenville @thewhumpstuff @thatsthewhump @adamantem-rose @lonesome--hunter @whumpsorbetism @whumpasaurus101 @lektricfergus @downrivergirl914 

[sarnie-for-varney]

what're your favourite in9 episodes? c:

Oooh this is a good question! Thank you @lapis-lazuliie! I'll give you my favourites from each series!

Series 1:

Sardines: This episode is so claustrophobic and awkward every time I watch it, but that's why I love it. It really makes you feel like you're trapped in the wardrobe with them. (I also just really love Reece's character, Stuart). However, I only recently understood what the father meant by "I was teaching him how to wash himself". For some reason, it only just clicked in my mind how inappropriate that activity would be 😐

The Understudy: Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely ADORE Macbeth and I also ADORE theatre. The references to the actual play and how everything was modernised was just excellent. This was the episode that got me hooked on the show.

Series 2:

La Couchette: This, again, has that very jarring sense of claustrophobia. It's also very real and natural. It's probably quite likely for a man to end up dead on a train. Then the twist at the end, I was incredibly shocked.

12 Days of Christine: Ironically, I actually didn't like this episode when I first watched it. However, the more I watch it, the more I like it. This is a 'life flashes before your eyes' episode, and I LOVED the concept of that. At first, you think it's just the story of a normal woman. However, then the rhythm starts to become fractured and you notice that even Christine herself starts to become confused. So do you. Then she comes to the realisation at the same time you do too. Love that one.

Cold Comfort: As someone who actually suffers with depression, this episode hit very close to home. The twist in this episode was VERY startling but incredible. I could not believe it when I saw that. I really liked that it not only showed the mental state of the callers, but also the receiver (Steve's character).

Series 3:

The Devil of Christmas: Now this is one my sister told me to brace myself for. This story was DISTURBING but brilliant. When I say my jaw DROPPED-. It was scraping along the floor. Because the whole time, you are lured into this false sense of security and then BAM

Empty Orchestra: While it is very different to the dark theme of this show, that's actually what I like about this. This one was lovely and comedic, and incredibly lighthearted. It kind of takes you away from the creepy norm and shows that they can create something that is also very funny and meaningful.

Private View: THIS was a TRIP and a half! Having the idea of a murderer luring everyone into one place and stealing their body parts is fascinating and GRUESOME

Series 4:

Zanzibar: UGHHH I loved this! The Shakespearean feel, and the rhythm. SO refreshing! However, it is so frustrating but FUN how they are all in the complete wrong rooms gaaaahhh

Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room: This episode made me cry, and I LOVE a show that can make me weep. This one shows the range of acting that both Reece and Steve can do. And that's what I love about this. It shows that they aren't just funny, or terrifying. They can be emotional. This was beautiful. And that musical number, GOSH

Once Removed: Now this was my very favourite up until recently, when I picked a new favourite. Being able to tell a story backwards and still make it make complete sense has to take some BRAIN POWER. This was the first episode where I really sat back and went "damn, these men are CLEVER" 😂

Tempting Fate: I love that each series ends on an unnatural and almost paranormal note. This one especially was brilliant. I say that because it mixed alot of things into it. It mixed trauma and comedy with supernaturality. Nick's tragic past and Keith's son mixed with Maz's jokes and sarcastic attitude. And the HARE. The fact that this whole episode was about the hare, it made me leap

Live: Deadline: This was the live episode. I was watching this on iPlayer and it STILL fooled me. That's how well this was staged. This one made me SHIT myself, no joke. And I LOVED IT

Series 5:

Misdirection: All episodes from Series 5 onwards, I actually remember watching when they came out. This episode was the first one me and my sister watched for the first time together. I LOVED the gothic overtone of it and the very macabre atmosphere. SO Poe-ish.

Thinking Out Loud: This is my overall favourite episode. The reason for this is that this episode was SO complicated but SO well done. The actor for the main lady was so brilliant in portraying this disorder. And that's exactly what this episode was. Disorderly, it was a shambles. It was just a group of people speaking into a camera, but it was still so powerful. You actually FEEL for Aidan and become so ATTACHED to Angel. Then you start to make connections between the characters. And THEN you realise that they were never even real. SO powerful.

Series 6:

Wuthering Heist: This is probably joined first with Thinking Out Loud. I ADORE Commedia Dell'Arte and Brechtian theatre. It's my favourite genre and I also LOVE clichés. And that's what Commedia Dell'Arte is about! Clichés! And I loved that the subplot was literally just the plot to Wuthering Heights too, that was a brilliant add in. THIS WAS AMAZING, but so many people hated it whyyyy

Simon Says: I liked this because they basically took US into account. The Ninth Circle is kind of like Inside No.9 in a way, with its *ahem* toxic fanbase *ahem*. And they explored shipping, not only with the fictional characters in the Ninth Circle, but also Pembersmith. I loved how manipulative Simon was and how evil Spencer turned out to be.

Lip Service: This was another one I disliked at first. I'm not sure why because its BRILLIANT. This was probably one of the more elaborate and intelligent ones from the series, in my opinion. There were so many twists in this episode, and I loved all of them. Brenda actually being Felix's ex, Iris stalking Felix, then the shooting. I also loved the little love scene between Felix and Iris, even if it was short lived. I loved their chemistry.

How Do You Plead?: NOW THIS WAS A MASTERPIECE! Full of twists and turns, Derek Jacobi was in it. What's not to love? The whole time, you think Bedford is some type of ANGEL and then it's like HAHA NOPE

Last Night of the Proms: Basically, the more I heard about this episode, the more I loved it! I really liked how the music reflected the rhythm of the episode and how it also reflected their mood. And just the family in general. ADORED the symbolism. (E.g. the young boy was wearing headphones to symbolise that the youth of today is shielded from the racism and patriotism of the older generation) and I fucking LOVED Brian's internalised homophobia. The idea that an old, bitter man is dealing with such complex emotions is beautiful. And just... YUSUF, YES

That was alot! Sorry it took me so long lol @lapis-lazuliie

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

this may be my latest one (aside from those that never saw the light of day), but sorry life calls sometimes. enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions at the end 😘

Oh Carl, poor Carl. How on earth is he going to survive with Nick? 🤣 Honestly though, Jack so sneaky with her therapy despite being halfway across the globe. I love McGee’s “obviously she thinks you need it Nick” because HAHA nail on the head right there Timmy, he definitely needs it. Needs it to prove to himself a living thing can depend on him and he won’t let it down. 

They clearly still don’t believe in personal space, Nick does NOT need to get that close to look at a simple picture of a body on the camera 👀 broooo you so hooked on her she’s like a magnet pulling you in. Alsooooo them both officially switching to first names even in the field is so key. They might not even realize they’re doing it but at the same time they’re so (relatively) comfortable in their feelings of each other that they’ll say it in front of everyone, no qualms about it. I will also never get tired of hearing Nick call her Ellie. For someone so closed off initially, to now have slowly grown to call her on a first name basis when not a single other soul (sans Toby apparently) gets that sort of treatment 🥺😍 Plus he’s teasing her about food just slightly and it’s like old times again. Ellie getting back into her foodie status is perfect, thank you NCIS for finally giving us that. 

Were back to Carl and I’m chuckling at Nick’s worry for killing it. That is all, it’s hilarious like Gibb’s creepy laugh. 

Ok and now it’s Nick almost making fun of Ellie again, just barely and then he just…listens to her 😩 he just says, oh shit she’s really into this and borderline obsessed and I think that’s actually really f-ing adorable so let me just quietly take this all in because I can’t get enough of this woman and when she’s excitedly rambling about something I’m just going to soak it in because she doesn’t do this often so instead of teasing let me just look, listen and smile like the idiot in love that I am. He’s even kind of holding back a smile when she corrects herself about Kosmic vs Killer Korn. Like goddamn this woman does things to my insides even when she’s just talking about corn and poking me with her finger. Also we’re back to Nick taking a step back and letting Ellie take lead with questioning the food truck people- I love that he respects her so hard that he’ll follow her lead and knows she is a BA with this stuff. 

Some more cute partner stuff as per usual, and I’m sorry Nick do you not have your own computer and desk??? I mean, I don’t mind and I know Ellie doesn’t either but Gould you BE more obvious??? Plus he just nods along when she’s talking because his woman knows what is up y’all and you should listen and bow down. 

Nick calling Fornell, Toby is hilarious to me- such growth. “Emily is finally squared away” FUCK YOU NCIS. FUCK YOU. THE MOST POINTLESS LAZY STORYLINE EVER OKAY. AND I REFUSE TO DIVULGE THIS SHIT MORE BECAUSE IT PISSES ME OFF TOO MUCH. IF THEY DON’T HAVE THIS AS A LARGER PLOTLINE I WILL BE RIOTING. And yes I knew something major was going to happen but good lord that was so unnecessary. I digress. Ellie pondering out loud about Gibbs’ sad personal life and Nick and McGee’s reactions had be ugly cackling. Like dyyyyyyyying. I can’t with her 🤣🤣🤣 she saying what’s everyone is thinking. Nick giving her a little grief is also so perfect for them “yeah you DID say that out loud.”

Ok now to my favorite part, Nick once again following Ellie’s lead and being initially like oh you writing an article ok we’re going with that ok cool. And then Ellie says hold my earrings we getting crazy but at the same time this is rolling off my tongue like I’ve said it a million times and doodled it in cursive in my diary, my HUSBAND and I can help so like you know let us on your truck mister we’re vaccinated anyways. AND NICK I MEAN HIS FACE. The initial surprise of oh no did she *actually* just say that??? Did she??? why yes she did and I’m sorry why do I like the sound of it so much??? What is this bubbling feeling inside my chest of oh damn I would very much like to be her husband and have her babies and have her announce to random strangers on the street that I am hers??? Is this normal? Do I need to call a medic?? Can she say that again is there a reason she would need to? Prove our cover one more time baby, give me a quick kiss, serious it’s for the good of the case. But ok fine no kiss but yeah I’ll roll with this and call you smoothly with your first name and just play into it. I love them both so much in this whole moment. I love them undercover together and just being all cutesy and Ellie’s deepest desires coming out while she’s just you know, investigating the case. 

Ok I am going to completely ignore the reason we are somber in this bullpen in fear of losing my shit again (see above) but we’ll break down the ellick part of it. Nick near her desk because he needs to be by her side even if it’s just her proximity 🥺 And then he takes a long look at Carl before looking at Ellie and man that is poignant even if it seems like just a fish. This living being that he’s been so stressed about keeping alive, realizing he HAS kept it alive. Realizing that he CAN be a person that someone (or a fish) depends on. Realizing he is built for long-term, he is built for the interdependency of a serious relationship. And looking up to Ellie and seeing that need for comfort, for strength, for a person to depend on. He knows her own strength and independence, knows yeah- she could do it on her own if she had to. But he also acknowledges he can be there to help her, he won’t break and he won’t let her down- just like he hasn’t let Carl down. So what does he do? He takes the corn he’d most definitely picked up *before* the news of Emily’s death (and oh good lord is that not the cutest fucking thing? He’d listened to her gush and obsess over Kosmic Korn (and yes if you freeze frame, he got her favorite because he’s observant) and he said, let me take notes, let me get my wife I mean girlfriend I mean partner some corn because it makes her happy, and if I can do even the smallest thing to make her smile goddamnit imma do it. I’m going to show her that any little teasing I give her is for show and I listen and I love this woman enough to go back to Kosmic Korn BY MYSELF—willingly Nick Torres will go back to a food truck—and get this lady some damn corn). But yes he got this before Emily’s death and now not only is it just to make her smile, but it’s a shred of “I hope I can bring you some comfort because otherwise I’m not sure how even though I desperately want to give you comfort.” And Ellie, the small smile of recognition at what Nick did is so sweet. And it morphs into a hesitant, yes corn is great but I really need to feel you, I need to touch you and know you’re still here. Feel you in my arms, feel your chest rise and fall as you breathe me in and I breathe you in. Feel you being alive after all we and this team have been through. McGee might go hug his kids but god I need to hug you Nick. I need to nestle my head even closer to get as physically close to you as possible, feel every inch of your warmth while I wrap my head around how short life truly is. And Nick looking down and stutter slightly at the overwhelming emotion he feels having her in his arms. The peace it brings him and the peace it brings her all-consuming. The realization this is where he was always meant to be and the same to her. How even in a somber moment he’s grateful to be her strength and yet he knows she’s also his strength. That hand that didn’t need to but came up all the same to cradle her head and stroke her hair- holding her head right at his heart. His heart that’s inevitably thumping in his chest for all the right reasons. Pressing her into him, doing everything he can to keep her from shying away and retreating behind those walls they both have. Wrapping his other hand around her upper back, shielding her from the hurt that is the world the best he can. If she never leaves his heart, she can’t be hurt. And he can’t lose her. He’d do anything to never leave that spot, that embrace he so desperately craves and needs. The grounding embrace of finally being in one another’s arms for more than a brief adrenaline-induced second. Neither wanting it to end, and yet knowing it will have to. And honestly I can only picture Nick’s hand still gently brushing her hair as Ellie leans back ever so slightly to look up at him, his warmth still radiating over her as he looks down. Wordlessly they both collect their things to go, never wanting a sound to break that moment. Hands maybe even brushing as they enter the elevator- the unspoken shift between them refusing to be broken if words aren’t muttered. They’re still locked in that embrace if the world stays silent. And that last look of longing at car doors, knowing the moment they step in and drive away it does have to sever- the shift is there but the embrace is split. Both swirling with thoughts as they drive their separate ways home as to where to go next…

Aaaaand then cue a Gibbs-centric episode with trash references to how vets do their job, I’m not bitter. She says as she ruins a sweet emo moment at the end of the wwr with her bitterness 🙄 ANYWAYS I’m gonna leave it with no side notes because honestly I don’t remember any and also it is literally the day of the next episode I’m so terrible at getting this done how do y’all keep waiting for me & reading this trash 😅❤️ 

[wonderlustlucas]

four - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit

You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.

The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.

You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.

[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls

[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer

[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid

[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji

You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop

You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.

[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm

[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep

[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee

You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.

In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!

By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.

“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.

“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.

“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.

“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”

“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?

Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.

“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.

“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”

“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”

“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”

“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.

Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.

And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.

He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.

And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.

But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.

But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.

But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?

It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.

So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.

Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.

Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.

Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.

Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.

Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.

Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.

“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”

You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.

Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.

You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.

“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.

“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”

“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.

And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.

Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”

Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”

“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.

Yeah.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.

“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”

“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”

“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.

“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.

You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.

September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.

You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.

Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.

“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.

Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—

“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”

It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.

How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.

God, you hate it.

You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.

Hyunjin is a funny guy.

Or so he thinks.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.

Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.

After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.

But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.

You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.

After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts

See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?

[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”

[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM

[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president

[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like

[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing

Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.

You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.

“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.

“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”

“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.

“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.

“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”

Yikes. He’s going to kill you.

“Nursing,” you blurt.

“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”

“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”

“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?

“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”

Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.

For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.

Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.

Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.

“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”

Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!

After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.

“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!

Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?

Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.

“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”

You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.

Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”

Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”

He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”

You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”

“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”

At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”

Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.

“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”

Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.

“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.

It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.

In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.

“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.

“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”

Yeah. We shall.

The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”

“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.

“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”

“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.

“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.

Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.

Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.

Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.

You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”

“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”

“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”

“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.

“Kinky.”

Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.

Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.

Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.

“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.

“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”

“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.

At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.

You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”

He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.

Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.

Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”

“Just past two,” he whispers.

You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”

“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.

Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.

“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.

“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.

“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.

You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.

Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.

“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.

“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”

A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”

“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.

“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.

You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”

You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.

“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”

“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.

“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”

“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.

“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.

“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.

You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”

“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”

You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?

Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.

“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”

“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”

“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”

“You didn’t kiss m—”

The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.

“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.

“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”

He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.

On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.

On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.

The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.

The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”

Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”

Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”

“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”

“Yes. Wait— what? No!”

You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.

“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.

“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”

You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?

“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”

You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.

“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.

“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”

You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”

[apffee]

My Thoughts Rewatching TGWDLM and Black Friday:

*btw the section for tgwdlm is much shorter than the one for black friday because it’s less new so more people have already said almost all there is to say about it i guess*

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: - in the first scene the same phone rings about 32/33 times wow (i counted) - when charlotte is talking about sam singing in the shower, let it out plays real quiet and it's cool - i’ve always wondered what emma was gonna say before join us and die, and to me it seemed like she was gonna talk about paul’s crush on her and maybe reject him (she was acting remorseful, like she was sorry for being about to hurt his feelings maybe), idk if anyone tweeted nick lang about this yet but i wanna know - emma seems to jinx herself every time she says "we made it" or along those lines, like in the helicopter she says "we got outta there!" and before inevitable she says "paul! we made it!" - fuck nora :)

***

Black Friday: - the sniggles deserve betterrrr also lauren sniggle <3 - mnfnmggghfht them <3 paulkinsss <3 - silent night playing while we enjoy paulkins - "oH SHIT A BABY" - emma has beanies shopping bags so she either still works there and brought snacks or she just went there with paul idk - paul like "it's christmas time in hatchetfield isn't that fun" and im having flashbacks - i love paul's awkwardness but emma, he's your boyfriend ok (ok? ok. ok.) - emma copying bae like - how does lauren turn into an entirely different person with emma and linda ik it's acting but I CAN'T ENVISION THEM TOGETHER AS THE SAME PERSON - if i think about videos and streams of lauren, it seems like emma's personality is kinda similar to lauren's own personality huh - i think this part with emma and paul is so funny not just cause them and their wonderful delivery but also cause the paulkins content is more condensed in smaller amounts of time since they aren't the protagonists anymore, so it's more funny at once, while tgwdlm is probably more funny in total but it's more spread out - i love emma’s adorable laugh snort thing when tom tells her about the surprise it's so lovable <3 - tom just getting in emma's face when he says "he was sledding. WITH HIS MOTHER" ;-; - they just sneak off while tom sings like - what if emma has a different hairstyle in each musical? anyway lauren is so pretty no matter what her hairstyle is but her hair looks even more amazing down in general, i should probably stop now or i'll keep rambling on about lauren - but like lauren and jon are so cool i'm just more attracted to lauren in general but they're probably my two favourite starkid and YES I AM BIASED, SO WHAT? - tom teleports to the parking lot of the mall during what tim wants - tom: what tim want? tim: JUST ASK ME WHAT I WANT - why does linda look over when sherman says "omg its becky barnes" like u just spoke to her and hate her guts lmao why do u care -adore me plays when linda belittles becky bout stanley -webby: hey hannah do the thing ethan's doing with his hands hannah: *does it and gets scolded* webby: *wHeEEeEzeee* - paul in wdywp "i want what everyone wants, money, a partner, kids someday, maybe.." and linda talking to wiley "i want what everyone wants, to be loved" - linda is holding one of her boots, why did one come off? the camera doesn't show below her waist while she's talking to wiley so idk - lauren lopez as jingle the elf doing a bugette voice is attractive as hell - tom: "i'd do anything for him" me: awwww thats sweet! tom: "even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp!" me: :/ - what would happen if tom managed to give the doll to tim? tom: take this doll son. tim: i don't want that lmao? tom: W-WHAT? tim: i want u but ur distant and sad now :c tom: :'o - sHE'S hEaVY! D: - do ya think it's a coincidence that wiley AND xander call the president the nickname howie? maybe xanders dead and this is a fake idk lol - the sniggles are still cute in made in america (especially lauren sniggle) and lauren looks so good with her hair like that actually her hair always looks good why DOES HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD AND HER NOSE AND (this is just a rant about lauren now whoops) - at 1:42:55 when wiggly is talking to john the "look what happens nightmare time" riff (i think its a riff) plays hmmmmm; also someone else mentioned how the light in not your seed is green, so i think grace chasity (yeah apparently it’s chasity) is the connecting thread in all these things and since she is likely the protag in npmd its probably important. oh also maybe grace and jane are connected somehow? idk just trying to think of stuff that could be in npmd - when wiggly gasps after his hiccup laugh thing it's so uncomfortable and creepy i love it good job jon! - you have pOonies?? - i threw em in the FUCKING TRASH! - you killed the pOoNIES! -"she can go on her own" NO LEX HANNAH NEEDS YOU ;o; -lex: reach? like this? *gun flies towards her and smacks her in the nose* ARGH! - lex: patiently waiting for tom to finish singing - i remember something about either the song a meteor hits or just the wiggly jingle scratch track or something being to the tune of if i fail you, so thats cool - jon is so damn feral as gary and it's wonderful i'm having so much fun - gerald's such a good dramatic device - she's drunk AGAIN? what would you know about becky being drunk linda? im imagining drunk becky and linda talking in a bar idk how else linda would know about that eh - behold the wonderful shriek of lauren lopez - i can sing the range of adore me and califorMIA since im an alto and yet lauren can do her high octaves as well as my own comfotable octave she's just destroying the song wiggle and my belief in what singing ability i have with her TALENT!!! - *obnoxious laugh* bECkY BaRNeS! - lets just appreciate jon and lauren sneaking off stage and doing a quick change into their paul and emma outfits in like 40 SECONDS WHAT also everyone else saying their lines slower so they had more time to quick change - "taaahm?" (i love lauren's midwestern accent) - emma and tom never got to talk about jane :'( but also her grateful little smile when he says it and ghfighdfisdfskh emma and paul <3 - why does emma always want to go to hidgens tho lmao like how trustworthy is he really? aw but i guess emma doesn't have anyone else in hatchetfield except paul and jane's family :'( - PAUL SMILING AT EMMA TO COMFORT HER AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (2:14:02) like i don't mind about how well lauren and jon know each other because their acting is so good that it gets me so invested in paulkins <333333333333333 - i wanna see the paulkins hug D:< i can just see emma in her cute ass bobble beanie hat thing coming over and then the camera pans away WHY - i love that at the end everyone's just squinting at the sky in confusion and paul's just doing a bug-eye face of shock like O-O - ok at the end of tgwdlm it was sad and scary that emma was still in character and screaming for help but i'm just imagining as everyone bows in a line emma just screaming and staggering around again even though this is black friday and it would be really weird but my brain's also weird - tim died alone in the car :( - fuck nora

[actualsunflower]

🌸💫

🌸 What are some of their favourite things and why? List as many as you can think of! This is a very loaded question for Jay lol There are MANY I could list but to keep it at an acceptable length, I wont name every one dkfjgs Firstly- Nick. He isn’t a thing but if you’d ask Jay directly right away he’d say “Nickkyyy” anyway. He loves Nick for infinite reasons ♥ As for actual items, he loves coffee mugs, tea cups and those cute little plates. China sets, the like, like I said in an earlier ask, he really likes jars and baskets, things you can put other things in XD The comforting aesthetic of having cute baskets, jars and tea sets in your house is just ♥♥ He loves rocks and gems, he gets excited because he’s fascinated by geology and he loves the trick of identifying the rocks and other little fossils he finds. Plants as well, flowers and ferns especially, he loves flower pots as well ofc. He likes to paint them and make them all pretty for his house and greenhouse. Food. Coffee, teas, herbal teas, donuts, pastries, general baked goods. Sunlight, you know, photosynthesizing. He loves clothing too, vests, sweaters, scarves and flannels are his favorite. Actual items he has that are his favorite: a small set of coffee mugs with a pretty floral design on them that Nick found for him, his wedding ring of course, a mutated bromelaid Solara gave him, a soft lavender sweater Piper gave him, his hairbrush because brushing his hair is something very comforting and kinda grounding for him, his scarf, his dark blue blanket that somehow after over 200 years was still in his bedroom and mostly intact when he came out of the vault. He suspects Codsworth tried to preserve what he could in their old home, and it’s weird but it reminds him of his life pre-war and his late husband. Speaking of Codsworth, he is also one of his favorite things lol also, a large number of books he’s picked up or that Nick snagged at some point, and the stacks of half full sketch and notebooks at their desks and beside the bed. There’s a number of little ripped bits of paper around the house, notes or reminders from Nick that he’s secretly been keeping because he thinks they’re sweet. I could keep going but I’ll end there for now- 💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why? Uhhh well, you know, I’m not really sure which! Of course there’s a lot of little facts abt him that I love, but.... Well I’d say though maybe its not exactly a ‘fact’, but his love for Nick and the way it’s expressed, and their relationship and dynamic. They have the comfort of a childhood best friend and the intimacy of a long time loyal lover. It’s sweet, it’s wholesome and at times whimsical, it’s healthy, it’s warm and sunny, it’s comforting, its a lovely soft kiss on the forehead when you’re tucked into bed wrapped up in soft blankets with the love of your life. It’s soul healing for me and I hope with my art and fic (if I ever let yall read it) it will be for you too ♥ But if you want like a personality fact- it’s his stupid quirk of burying things he doesnt like and doesnt want other people to have. Found some creepy artifact in the bottom of a cursed cult mine? Found a strange serum in a locked away portion of a secret underground science lab? Found a secret note trying to lure someone into a trap and you dont want them in danger? Bury that shit in tha ground babey!! 

[fallout4treasures]

I’m bored. Here are my actor choices for a Fallout 4 movie.

I don’t think it’s everyone, but it still took me all day.

I tried to keep them in a rough order of appearance.

Also, I based Nate and Nora off of the games’ preset. However, if I were actually casting a movie, I would just have open auditions. But anyway, here we go.

Nate:

Milo Ventimiglia

It was between him and Jensen Ackles. But honestly, I already had my Nora choice in my heart and I could just see Milo and her running to the vault in a panic together. If that’s not enough I saw Nate in him instantly. The widowed soldier desperately looking for his son in the annihilated future. Plagued with nightmares, but he would still stay warm and uplifting. Milo + Jumpsuit + Dogmeat = Yes, please.

Nora:

Anne Hathaway

Anything I say about her won’t do her justice. First off, she’s easily one of the most talented actors of all time. From the Princess Diaries to Les Miserables, she has proved time and time again that she can be anyone she wants to. Could she be a full-of-life but grief ridden mother, making new friends and enemies while shooting her way through the Commonwealth to find her kidnapped child? In her fucking sleep. Plus her presence would be plenty strong enough to stand up to any of the rest of our star studded, “would-be” cast.

Codsworth & all the Mr. Handy bots(voice):

Tim Curry 

I just want to see it, I have no other excuse.

Conrad Kellogg:

Christopher Meloni

I kept wanting to go with Jeffery Dean Morgan, but I just didn’t think I could learn to hate that face the way I hate Kellogg’s. But then once I thought of Christopher there was no other choice. He can do the voice and the terrifying, non-emotional thing with no issue. (His character seriously got to me in Handmaid’s Tale.) But he could also be relatable enough to actually feel for Kellogg while diving through his memories. 

Preston Garvey:

John Boyega

I had definitely forgotten about John when I was browsing through. My husband and I actually discussed him versus Donald Glover for awhile. In the end we decided that Boyega’s Preston would have a stronger stoic side as well as the fun loving friend. I think he would effortlessly display Preston’s disappointment in the Minutemen, as well as his survivor’s guilt.

Sturges:

Chris Pratt

This part is way too small for Chris nowadays, but I really think he could fall into Sturges’ carefree 50’s mechanic vibe. Plus I could see him throwing in a new sarcastic side to him that could be fun. If not, then I think he would still take him on perfectly, line for line.

Mama Murphy:

Helen Mirren

She’s powerful. She’s gorgeous. I would almost be afraid she would steal from anyone else on screen with her. And yet, it’s the surreal power that’s needed to make Mama Murphy a real life character. So there ya go. 

Paladin Danse:

John Krasinski

Have you seen him in Jack Ryan? I really think he could embody Danse, heart and soul. From his hardened and serious outsides to his soft, broken, and vulnerable insides. He would play the soldier with so much heart, and would probably have us sobbing when he struggles over his new identity. (Me being in love with both of them has absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.) Plus him in a flight suit. Nuff said.

Piper Wright:

Kat Dennings

First off, she’s freaking gorgeous. Second, I think Piper’s fiery personality would fit her like a glove. Plus she would take on the role of Nat’s big sister perfectly. If you’ve seen her in Thor then you already know she makes an excellent side-kick and adds some great comic relief.  

Mayor McDonough:

Alec Baldwin

I jumped around a lot with this one. I even considered people like James Spader and Jack Nicholson (too old, I know). But then I remembered Alec’s ability to lay on the cheeeeeese. I have no doubt he could handle McDonough’s suspicious but seemingly normal character, and transitioning into his manic and desperate attempt to stay alive. Plus, he would nail his “I am not a synth!” speech, finding the perfect balance of creepy and welcoming.

Ellie Perkins:

Ellie Kemper

She has an adorable, scrappy, and loving personality that glows every time she’s on screen. I don’t think I’ve seen her in anything serious, personally, but I bet she’d be up for the challenge. Especially to fill the role for someone cute and spunky like Ellie. 

Nick Valentine:

Liev Schreiber

I really, really struggled with this one. Obviously CGI and other special effects would have to happen no matter what, but whoever I chose still had to have those serious eyes, warm and friendly smile, and that old Boston gumshoe voice. Cue Liev. He’s probably a touch young, but if we’re already using CGI anyway so who cares.

Elder Arthur Maxson:

Tom Hardy

I don’t even feel the need to explain myself here. Venom. That’s all I’ll say.

X6-88: 

Michael B. Jordan

As sweet as his smile is, I feel like the minute Jordan pulls on a stone cold look, blood would drain the face of whoever was playing opposite of him. However he would easily be able to add the oddly comforting touch X6 has when he watches over the Sole Survivor. 

Desdemona:

Laura Prepon

Her commanding and sexy vibe in everything she plays is absolutely perfect. At least for me. She’s a bit young, but I think it would be easy enough to age her up. She would naturally become the leader of the Railroad, and would totally scare the piss out of everyone in her way.

Deacon:

Ryan Alosio 

Yep, the man himself. He’s got the look, the charisma, and he can obviously do Deac’s iconic voice. Don’t fix what’s not broken. If you’re not convinced, watch this very impressive reel of his. Or do it anyway because DAMN. It was shameful how quickly I fell in love. 

https://www.imdb.com/video/vi3911957785?ref_=nmvi_vi_imdb_1

Tinker Tom:

Anthony Mackie

Tom has a whole lot of energy to keep up with. I pushed him off to one of the last ones I chose because he is just so unique, and I actually needed my husband’s opinion. We finally settled on the talented and energetic Anthony. He’s goofy, absolutely lovable, and would probably have way too much fun playing into the crazy conspiracy bits.

Father(Old Man Shaun):

Gary Oldman

I feel bad not giving this brilliant actor a bigger role. His chameleon ability could land him almost anything here, but his soft but strong voice is literally perfect for Father’s. Just age him up a bit and he’ll melt into the role like with everything he doeswewse. He would make the reunion with Shaun 1000x more intense and emotional, and I could see him almost convincing all of us to join the Institute. I mean, it’s Gary fucking Oldman.

(Side Quest Characters)

John Hancock:

James Franco 

I actually couldn’t believe I hadn’t put this together before. I’m starting to wonder if Hancock was actually written for James. Super chill, but not scared to get shit done. Including taking care of Finn in the most casual and Godfather way possible within the first few moments of meeting him. Then afterward he would take some chems with Sole and talk about life for awhile. I’m totally okay with this idea.

Robert MacCready:

James Marsden 

I’ll be honest, I have never played with MacCready before. I had to watch some videos to get a feel for it but in the end I feel like I found a solid choice. I know he’s “pretty” but throw on some scruff, dirt, and a green cap and he’s there. Think Westworld.

Cait:

Karen Gillan

Cait can kick my ass any day, and that’s how I feel about Karen. They are both just so breathtakingly badass. Any sole survivor would struggle to keep from lusting after her, and then caring deeply as they worked through her drug addiction. 

Curie:

Mélanie Laurent

Both Curie and Melanie are just innocently stunning and can light up a room with a smile. Curie would be especially difficult because not only is she gorgeous, but she’s almost always the smartest one in the room, but I think Melanie could do her justice.

---

So there is our very expensive cast list!

There’s a lot here that I feel on the fence about but this was still a lot of fun to do. I’m sure there are other actors that I have forgotten that could take on these characters too, so let me know what you would have done differently!

[blackmissfrizzle]

Hot for Teacher part 3

Title: Hot for Teacher part 3

Characters: Steve Rogers x black!reader

Summary: The reader and Steve finally have their date

Warnings: Pre-smut, creepy dudes, and a long ass chapter and no keep reading cuz its mobile

A couple of drinks after your little performance, everyone decided to call it a night and went home. Well everyone except Shantae, she went home with Sam. Steve offered to take you home, but you declined his offer but you told him you would text him when you got home.

As soon as you entered your home, you texted Steve that you made it because if you didn’t, you surely would’ve forgotten.

“Texting Rogers you made it home,” a familiar voice from the shadows asked.

You dropped your keys into the bowl by your door and sighed. “You can’t just text me if I made it home safely like a regular dad?”

Nick Fury never did anything like a regular dad, except the fussing part. You remember the whoopings you used to get because you decided to be a smartass.

Your dad let your pet cat, Goose down, emerged from his seat and gave you a hug. “I’m not a normal dad, sweetie.”

“I’ve noticed. What are you doing here so late, old man? I hope you don’t want a report on my night with Steve.”

Your dad let you out of his embrace and returned to the couch. “No, I’m not even worried about Rogers. Now if you were going out with Stark, we would have a problem. I’m praying that this thing with Rogers work out. Your mama is already planning your wedding and for her future grandkids.”

You threw a pillow at your dad. “You told mama about Steve!?” You slinked down the couch in despair, your mom’s been bugging you about kids since you were an only child. She didn’t care if you got married, she just wanted grandkids.

“You know she’s a better investigator than I am. I couldn’t lie to her.” Its true, no one could lie to your mom, she had a knack for getting to the truth. “Anyways, I’m here to officially recruit you,” your dad stated as he slid a manila folder towards you.

Inside of the folder were photos of a local gang leader, Terrence and he recruited a lot of kids that go to your school. He truly was a menace to society. He didn’t care who got hurt as long as money was lining his pocket. As you went through more photos, you saw Terrence with an older gentleman.

“The older guy with Terrence works for Ghost, a terrorist who probably has done as much as evil as HYDRA. I know you got a couple of students connected with Terrence. I need you to find out what Terrence has planned with Ghost.”

On occasion, you were known to get involved with your students’ personal lives if they were in trouble. One instance, you fought in an underground fight club match so your student wouldn’t have to, but that was different. Your dad wanted you to work for SHIELD in an official capacity and that was big deal.

You pinched your nose, “This is a one-time thing. And I’m only doing this for the kids.”

Knowing that he won, your dad broke out into a shit-eating grin that few people got to witness. “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll have Hill send you a briefing within the next 72 hours and you’ll report to me on Saturdays. Now I’ll see myself out.” He gave you a kiss on the temple on his way out.

Great, in the same night you landed a date with Steve Rogers and became a SHIELD agent.

The following days you and Steve were texting and talking non-stop. Sometimes it was silly stuff about the stuff he missed while he was in the ice. At least he knew about the greats like, Marvin Gaye and Aretha, but you had to put him on Beyoncé and the masterwork of Lemonade. Other times you would talk about more serious stuff like, his time in the army or you training as a super spy as a child.

One day, Steve actually stopped by your school during your planning period to bring you lunch, since you told him earlier that you didn’t eat anything that day, because you were so busy. Even though, you couldn’t talk to him because you allowed some students to come for a tutoring session, he stayed and helped you by grading some papers. You were convinced that Steve was angel and you were praying that everything would work out.

Friday came before you knew it, but the day dragged on. Somehow, your students found out that your date with Steve was that night and they teased you all day long, especially since they could sense you were anxious. When 3:30 stroked, you practically ran out with the students and sped out the parking lot.

Arriving home in record time, you decided to try and take a nap, because if you stayed up you would’ve gotten ready early and been a nervous wreck. The week must’ve caught up with you, because you had no trouble taking a nap.

—

Soon, you found yourself knocking on Steve’s door at exactly 7pm. He invited you over for dinner and the dance lesson at his place, because when he went out in public people typically recognized him and asked for pictures and he didn’t want to subject you to that invasion of privacy yet.

The breath was knocked out of you when Steve opened the door. He had on an apron over a blue Henley and black jeans, and you didn’t know if it was the domesticity of the apron, the tightness of the Henley, or a combination of both, but you had a hard time stopping yourself from jumping Steve’s bones.

“Hey, come on in.” Steve waved you inside and pulled you into his warm embrace. He smelled like the food he was cooking and his cologne, and you wanted to drown yourself in that scent.

“I like your place. Its comfortable and welcoming.” Your eyes wandered Steve’s apartment. It didn’t feel like the typical bachelor pad. He had photos of his old and new friends placed decoratively, a record player, and a couch that made you sleepy from just looking at it.

Steve grabbed your purse and jacket to put them in a chair in the corner. “Thanks. Tony had Pepper come and decorate.”

The smell of the food had you gravitating towards the kitchen. Before you had a chance to look in the pot, Steve is pulled you towards him and shuffled you to a seat at the dinner table. “No peeking,” he jokingly reprimanded you.

You kissed your teeth in disappointment. “That’s not fair. I just wanted to see what was causing my stomach to growl. I should warn you Rogers, I don’t play about my food.”

Steve gave you a deep belly chuckle as he came back to the table with two plates. “Duly noted.” He set before you a plate of shrimp alfredo pasta, one of your favorite dishes. Steve Rogers was really pulling out all the stops if he kept it up, he might just get lucky, you thought to yourself.

As dinner began the two of you made small talk. You talked about how you had to stop a fight between two of your students, because Lyric stepped on Diego’s shoes and then they began arguing about how the other were too broke to afford good shoes. The joke was on them because, both of their Jordans were knockoffs but you didn’t have it in you to break their hearts. Steve told you how Tony caused the electricity to short-circuit during making a new suit.

“Okay Rogers, enough stalling! Its time for your dance lesson,” you announced at the end of dinner. You backed out of your seat and stood by Steve and reached out for his hand.

He grimaced and regretfully placed his hand in yours. “Promise you won’t make fun of me?”

To soothe his nerves, you kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear, “I promise.” It was definitely not the kiss that calmed him down, that made him more nervous, but it was the smile that you gave him while you looked into his eyes that did calm him down.

Steve scrolled through his phone until he selected the song he wanted, and then the bluesy guitar riffs of Tennessee Whiskey began to fill the room.

“Ohhh, you wanna learn how to two-step,” you joked.

The super soldier smiled and down casted his eyes to the floor. “Yeah, you did say you love country and the dance seems easy enough, but,” he held up his hand in objection. “I don’t think I’ll be ready for any twirls or lifts.”

It was your turn to give a belly-out laugh. “You’re that bad, huh?”

Steve pulled you into him and swayed the both of you side-to-side. “You’re about to see,” he whispered into your ear.

His dancing wasn’t so bad, but then again you two were only doing a basic slow dance. Confident that he could start doing the two-step, you instructed Steve that he had to take two steps forward and one step back.

After his failed attempts and a couple of stubbed toes, you took the lead to demonstrate how Steve should lead. You took the lead before with your friends, but this time was different because first, Steve obviously wasn’t a female and second, you felt smaller than your dancing partner.

“I think I got the hang of it now. I can lead if you want me to.” Steve commented after you being in the lead for fifteen minutes.

“Are you sure?” Instead of verbally responding, Steve took charge and he was much better than he was at the beginning of the lesson. He would stumble every so often and mumble ‘shit, I’m sorry’, but other than that he was great. Steve even managed to end your last dance with a twirl.

Currently the two you were sharing dessert while sitting on his couch and listening to music.

“So how did I do, teach?” Steve asked between bites.

You nodded your head side-to-side in deep thought. “Umm, it was rough in the beginning. Like for the life of me, I don’t understand how someone who fights in life or death situations and still trips over their own feet while dancing. But you got it at the end and that’s all that matters.”

“True, but I couldn’t have done it without my wonderful teacher.” Steve’s voice dropped lower as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

The both of you sat there in silence while the sexual tension filled the room until it boiled over. You don’t know who made the first move, but suddenly you were in Steve’s lap exchanging kisses. Steve must’ve had some practice since 1945, because the things his mouth was doing to yours made you wonder if he could do the same thing to your lower lips.

Abruptly, Steve pulled away to stop kissing you. “Damn, I forgot to ask. Are you okay with this?” Wow, only Steve Rogers would stop making out just to ensure he had consent. At that moment you knew Steve would own your heart sooner rather than later.

In response, you assaulted Steve with your lips and he gave a growl of approval. He flipped the two of you so you were laying on the couch while he was on top. Both of you were exploring the other’s body, getting dangerously close to start undressing the other.

Your hands were reaching for Steve’s belt buckle when your phone started ringing. Steve tried to get you to answer it, but you were too wrapped up in the idea of seeing what Steve was packing under his jeans.

“Doll, I really think you should answer it,” Steve suggested as the caller called for the second time.

Angrily you reached for the phone and answered, “Hello.”

“Umm, Ms. Y/L/N this is Nia.” Quickly your attitude was gone and you were on high alert. You gave some of your students your phone number, because you knew they had some troubles at home and you told them to not to hesitate to call you if they were in danger or trouble. If Nia was calling she was in some serious trouble, because she always had this jokester/tough girl exterior thing going on.

“Nia, what’s going on sweetie?” Steve was automatically on alert as he heard you say your student’s name.

“Can you come by, please? My…my…my…my mmm-mom owes these guys money and they’re beating on her and I-II-III-I think they’re coming for me next.” The young girl stuttered through her tears.

You were already grabbing your things before Nia explained the whole situation. “I’m on my way. Just lock yourself up until I get there, okay.”

“I already did. Thank you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

As you gathered your things, you didn’t notice Steve was getting ready as well. “I gotta go. Nia’s in trouble.”

“No problem. I’m going with and I’m driving.” You didn’t have time to argue with Steve and you were grateful anyway, so you hopped on the back of his motorcycle.

Before you got to Nia’s apartment door you could hear the fight in the hallway and no one in the complex would go in help, but they sure did have time to stand in the hallway and listen. If you weren’t on a mission to save Nia, you would’ve cuss they asses out.

Finally, you and Steve approached the door with his shield on his arm and your sai in your hands. Giving each other a nod, Steve finally kicked down the door.

The two of you were greeted to the sight of two men, who looked like they belonged on someone’s defensive line beating on Nia’s mom, who was clearly a drug addict. Then another figure caught your eye. It was another man and he was trying to kick down the door that most likely held Nia behind it.

The two guys hitting on Nia’s mom made eye contact with the two of you and made one of the smartest decisions they made that night. They ran.

“I’ll handle that one and you go get those two,” you ordered Steve as you nodded your head in the direction of the door.

“Be safe!” Steve yelled as he ran out the door.

The other asshat finally stopped pounding on the door and looked you up and down with a mix of lust and mirth. “What? Are you the new diversity hire for the Avengers?”

“Ha ha ha. You’re a real comedian. Why are you beating on my student’s mom and trying to burst into her room?”

All of the laughter left his face and it was replaced by a mask of anger. “Because that druggie bitch,” he pointed his gun at Nia’s mom. “Owes my boss money and she refused to pay up so I thought a little fun time with that little ho she calls a daughter could be a down payment.”

Disgusted at the man’s sick plans for Nia, you rolled your eyes. “You thought wrong.”

“Oh, what you gone do about it?” Ole dude pointed the gun in your direction.

You let out a desperate sigh and rolled your shoulders. “Listen, you and your crew ruined my date so I’m already pissed. So, are you sure you wanna do this?”

He looked you up and down in contempt. “Am I supposed to be scared of you, teach?” That’s all the answer you needed. Next thing you did was throw one of your sai’s into the man’s gun and sent a flying kick to his chest, effectively knocking him out.

After you cuffed him to the dining table, you knocked on Nia’s door. “Hey, Nia, sweetie. It’s Ms. Y/L/N. You can come out now.”

Tentatively Nia opened the door, but once she saw you she bum-rushed you. You stroked the young girl between her puff balls as you held her while she cried.

“Thank you, Ms. Y/L/N,” Nia confessed between sobs.

“No problem, sweetie. Are you ok?”

Nia pulled away from slightly to look up at you. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry I ruined your date with Captain America.”

You grabbed the young girl by the shoulders and knelt down until you were eye level with her. “No, I’m happy you called. It means that you’re safe now.”

After calming Nia down, you checked on her mother and gave her a gentle but stern warning about using drugs. It seemed that the woman took it to heart, but God only knows.

Once you were sure that they were okay, you took the intruder to meet with Steve outside. He currently had the other two guys knocked out as well.

Steve pointed at the guy you were dragging. “You know you could’ve called me to get him.”

You shrugged your shoulders and gave a look of indifference. “Eh, I liked that he kept bumping his head on the stairs. And besides I need the arm workout.”

All three men were unconscious and you needed them awake. With no water on hand you had to kick them to jolt them awake, but it’s not like you felt bad about it.

A chorus of ‘what the fuck’ pierced the air as they awoke.

“Okay, this is how it’s gonna go. All three of you are now my bitches and work for me now and gonna be my informants. I need you to tell me about any information you have on Terrence and any business dealings he has with a Ghost. And if you don’t wanna comply or I feel that you’re jerking my chain, I’ll throw your ass at a SHIELD black site like that,” you threatened with a snap of your finger.

The douchebags were pissed off and wanted to say something, but one look at your face and they knew you weren’t playing. You had those Fury genes to thank for that.

Each grumpily agreed to your terms of conditions. Before they left you did threaten to cut off their balls if they attacked Nia and her mother or any other woman like that again.

—

When the two of you returned, you immediately apologized to Steve. “I’m sorry, I ruined your night. I’m sure you get tired of fighting and that’s exactly what you did on your night off.”

Steve reached out to you and placed a kiss on the back of your hands. “You didn’t ruin anything. Tonight was perfect and I like that you’ll drop anything for your students to help them out.”

“Thanks, everything was really great tonight. I hope we can do it again, but I should go. I have an early morning tomorrow.”

As you reached for the doorknob, Steve pulled you back and ask about turning the guys into informants. You informed Steve of you officially becoming a SHIELD agent to find Ghost through Terrence’s crew.

“I mean it’s only if you’re comfortable,” Steve scratched the back of his neck as a nervous tick. “But since it’s late and my place is closer to the tower, you could stay here for the night. But that’s only if you want to,” Steve hurriedly added on the last part.

Steve’s place was closer and he was harmless, you thought to yourself. “If you don’t mind, I would love to stay.”

The soldier was elated you decided to stay. He tried to give you his guest room, but you preferred to sleep in his bed with him.

Thankfully, you always had a go bag, so all you needed from Steve was something to sleep in.

When you emerged from the bathroom, Steve automatically grabbed a pillow to cover his hard on. He didn’t think he would have such a strong reaction to you wearing his shirt. Right at that moment he vowed that every chance he had, he would try to get you into one of his shirts.

“What are you staring at, pretty boy,” you teased, knowing full well Steve was staring at your curves.

Climbing into the bed and straddling his lap, you felt Steve’s erection. Deciding to be a tease, you rolled your hips around, which elicited a sinful moan from Steve’s mouth.

Promptly, Steve plopped you on the other side of the bed.

“What the hell, Steve? What’s that for?”

Suddenly, there was a shift in the air. Gone was the sweet and nervous Steve, but there was the confident and dominant Steve.

He gripped your chin and pulled your face closer to his.

“When I fuck you, you won’t be able to properly function for the next couple of days. And I doubt you want to accidentally call me daddy in front of your dad tomorrow, but if you do, then by all means let’s get to it.”

Steve was motioning to take off his shirt when you let out a meek, “I’m good.” You wanted nothing more than to be underneath Steve writhing in pleasure, but the way he may it sound you would be silly putty in the end and you didn’t need that your first day at SHIELD.

The blonde pulled his shirt back down and smirked at you. He kissed the side of your head and told you good night before he wrapped his arm around your waist.

Now you had to go to sleep hoping there wouldn’t be a wet puddle on the bed from your dreams of Steve screwing you silly.

Tags: @jojolu @ladyamandapanda12 @kashirenae92 @areubeingserved @dumbchick @wakanda-inspired @blacknthemix @pastelastronomy24 @chaneajoyyy @chonisberonica @everything-is-awesomesauce @blackreaders-assemble @nickidub718 @valkyriesnymph @marvelmaree @lildashofmelanin @cyrioussoul @destinio1 @toniilaney @euphoric05 @yoyolovesbucky @the-undecided-compass

[disloopy]

the heart is deceiving pt 4

BLOO

genre: angst, fluff, smut

word count: 1.7k

coming back to this fic after monthsss made me realize how shit and cringe it is and oh my god, you all deserve much better writing. yuck. HOWEVER, i will keep posting it until it's finished ( since id already written the whole thing ) because i do kind of like the ending sooo

pls stay w me cause im working on a sik k friends to lovers au and i know it's gonna be way better than whatever the hell this is...

clubbing really takes a toll on you, physically and mentally. i didn't even drink but i managed to have a headache by the night. i stumbled through the crowd, approaching the counter and slumping down in the seat. the bartender asked if i needed anything and i only ordered some water. she left to get it. 

my phone buzzed with a text from my dad, saying he might not be home tonight because of work. "oooh, that's exciting," said daniel, glancing at the text and sliding into the seat next to mine. he asked the bartender for something that sounded pretty intense and i gulped down my water.

"live a little," daniel urged, offering me the dark liquid but i shook my head. "ugh, you're so annoying and uptight." i rolled my eyes.

"thanks. that's sweet."

"kiss me."

"no."

"why?" daniel asked, pouting. 

"cause you're drunk as fuck and i hate the taste," i told him, trying to walk away but daniel grabbed my hand, turning me around. i pulled my arm away from him with a frown. "will you stop following me around like a lost puppy?" 

"i get worried when you're not with me." 

"yeah, i know," i said, reaching for my phone and showing it him. "you probably can't read but you know what says? 17 missed calls and 51 unread messages..." daniel grinned sheepishly but i wasn't finding it funny. "i was right next to you, daniel... i get that's it kinda dark in here but there's no way you could have missed me." 

daniel stuck out his bottom lip. "i just didn't want you to get lost, that's all. there's lots of creepy dudes here, they'll pick up anything with boobs." i groaned.

"stop. this isn't funny, it's an obsession and i don't like it." 

i tried to leave again and again daniel tried to pull me back but this time jojo got in between us, noticing the tension. "what the hell is going on here?" she asked, her voice trembling like she had just finished crying. i looked at her. her eyeliner was slightly smudged which gave me the answer right away.

"she won't let me love her," daniel whined.

"you only love me when you're drunk," i murmured and then jojo convinced daniel to go away for little while which he finally complied. the two of us sat on the curb outside the club, just on the sidewalk where we could still here the muffled sound of the music inside.

"what's wrong?" i asked her. she's usually the one comforting me and giving advice, so it was strange to be switching roles.

"boys are so complicated," she answered, blowing a puff of smoke into the dark of the night. "were you the one who gave my number to jinyoung?"

i nodded. "i'm sorry if i wasn't supposed to... i thought he was cute and you're cute and things could maybe..."

"it's not that," said jojo, taking a swig of the bottle she was holding. "did you know he loves me? he told me that."

"i just assumed..." i shrugged. jojo buried her face in her hands and i furrowed my brows. "jojo... you don't have to cry about it. you can choose the man you like... it doesn't have to be either." 

she sniffed, looking up and wiping her tears. "i know... i just feel so bad. i just like to fuck around and stuff but what if i'm actually catching feelings? nick called me babe.... what's it like to be in a relationship?"

i chuckled. "it's not all that... trust me, i feel like i'm not even in a proper one." we both laughed a little and the air felt lighter. "what are you going to do?"

jojo shrugged. "what i always do... nothing. besides i'm receiving clout from hanging out with these rappers so," she laughed and the smell of cigarettes just filled my nostrils. "why do i have to be so hot that boys are just tripping over themselves for me?" we talked for a little bit about how boys suck but also about which ones we'd smash because they can be fine sometimes too.

"it's fun when you're around," jojo told me with a smile. "daniel really bought out the wild side of you." i nodded and jojo leaned over, pressing her chapped lips against mine for a fleeting second before pulling away. 

"heyyyy, is it too late for a show?" daniel chuckled, walking over to us. "oh come on, keep going, don't mind me." 

"you're disgusting," jojo said, shaking her head and shoving him as he tried to put his arm around both of our shoulders. 

"i gotta go home anyway," i informed the both of them. "my head hurts and we got school... i haven't finished homework yet." 

"good luck with that," said jojo, brushing off her jeans and walking back into the club after ruffling me and daniel's hair. 

daniel rested his head on my shoulder. "i can drop you home." i sighed.

"you're too drunk to drive."

"we can test our limits." 

i ended up driving myself home in daniel's car while he blasted music and sang the lyrics out loud. then, i let him inside my house even though i told myself i wouldn't when we first got into the car. it was my foolish self who held his hand all the way to my bedroom and lied in bed with him until we let our bodies do the talking and our sounds created music in the silence of the night. i slept knowing he was right beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist, his bare chest slowly rising and falling to the rhythm of his  beating heart. he was safe and i was safe and we were each other's for the night.

***

"honey, are you decent, can i come in?" dad's knocking the door woke me up with a start. i quickly sat upright and shook daniel awake who just groaned. 

"um yeah, one second." i pushed him off the bed and his eyes shot open, about to complain but i hushed him, ushering him to get under the mattress which he obeyed. "come in!"

dad opened the door and i tried not to look nervous at all. "sorry i wasn't here last night." i didn't reply cause it was usual. "but i made breakfast for you and i wanted to tell you to have a good sunday before i leave to run some errands."

i smiled. that was the first time he'd said something like that. "okay daddy, i love you."

"i love you too baby."

when dad finally left, i let daniel come out of hiding. he clutched his head and i had to get him some tylenol and water before i let him eat breakfast with me. "did something happen last night?" he asked, eagerly digging into the pancakes. "cause you never allow me in your room and i just woke up in your bed."

i shrugged with a sly smile. "oops?" 

"well, whatever it was, i'm sure it was good."

"do you not remember anything?"

daniel shook his head. "nope." good, i thought, breathing out a sigh of relief. i was a major bitch to him last night - understandably. but i hoped it was something of the past that wouldn't ruin anything.

"i wish i could stay with you but i have to go to the studio today," daniel informed me while putting his clothes on. "jinyoung's like... totally diligent and he may be my friend but he's also my manager so." 

i giggled. "yeah, i get it." i handed him a water bottle to drink on the way back and he kissed my lips very gently. "i'll miss you."

"you can see me tonight. there's another party, i can pick you up."

"no, i have homework to do today."

"righttt, you're still in school." daniel chuckled, pulling his shoes on. "sexy schoolgirl." i rolled my eyes and kissed him once again at the doorway. i lowkey didn't want him to leave because i spent most of my weekend with him already and didn't want to be alone again.

"i'll visit you tonight... at your window." 

i was glad he left me with those words because it gave me something to look forward to tonight. i didn't go out at all that day. jojo came over and we did our homework together and we never usually did something like that but i enjoyed it.

she showed me her texts with jinyoung which we squealed over because i never realized how smoking hot he was until then. besides, he was good at flirting, just like daniel. 

when jojo left after eating dinner (which was thai takeout), i felt that loneliness again. no one was home but me so i decided to watch tv and maybe study for my next exam. life is quite boring like this but at least daniel would visit me tonight after the party.

i waited and waited and waited. he didn't show up. i called him a bunch of times but he didn't pick up. obviously he was partying too hard but i just wished he hadn't promised me something if he couldn't pull through. 

i sighed and lied in bed, still waiting. but he didn't come so i ended up falling asleep.

about 3am in the morning, my phone buzzed beside me. i groggily answered it. if the caller had been anyone other than daniel i wouldn't have. "hello?"

"babe?"

"hmm?"

i heard daniel breathe out on the other end. "sorry for leaving you hanging..."

"it's okay," i murmured, too sleepy to say anything else or to guilt trip him. "i guess you drank too much at the party."

there was a pause. "no... i actually didn't go to the party." 

"seriously?" i giggled sleepily. "that's hard to believe."

"yeahhh... i didn't feel up to it," daniel chuckled quietly on the other end. i felt my mind wander but then it was bought back. "i wanna sing my song to you." 

"go ahead," i whispered, holding the phone close to my face as i closed my eyes. the song started with something like "you're my downtown baby" and i couldn't remember the rest. i was too focused on how soothing his voice sounded over the phone while he sang.

after a couple minutes. "baby... are you still awake?"

"mhm," i replied. it felt like my mind was asleep but daniel's voice could keep me up all night long. 

"i'm moving back to korea."

[currentlyreadingmanga]

Toilet-bound Hanako-kun Chapter 17: The Little Mermaid (Part 2)

Previously:  we started a new arc and things get complicated for both Yashiro and Hanako. We met “the other Hanako” and with that, we got a glimpse of Hanako’s backstory (if his reaction is anything to go by). After being so shaken by the encounter, Hanako starts to avoid Yashiro and it couldn’t happen at a worse time since the Mermaid’s followers found her and now are trying to get Yashiro to sever her bond with our ghost boy and to go with them instead. The chapter also brought up the concept of trust and how Yashiro views her relationship with Hanako so far (with Tsuchigomori putting in his two cents and talking a little about how Hanako probably feels), and I really really love how the author is handling it so far.

Now onto the next chapter!

Ohhhhhh!!!!! That’s the image from the anime opening!!! The one that I think made every anime-only go “wait….what???”. This image was pretty disturbing without context, but now knowing that the shadowy figure could represent his brother, it adds another layer of yikes ngl

Ah, right, when we last left off, the fish had forced Yashiro into the water when she declined their invitation. A great way to get her to trust you, guys. Truly a phenomenal job.

………..

I want to be where the people are, I want to see- want to see 'em dancin'~~

Again: that’s fucking rude! Don’t you go dissing my girl like that, she’s a bit ditzy but she’s wonderful!!

I was gonna say “how do you expect her to come with you after trash-talking her like that?” but that’s probably the angle they’re going for. They’re trying to crush her self esteem so that she has no choice but to think that going to their world would be the best thing she could do. Clearly, they’re not above using dirty tactics.

…………..sigh Yeah I was afraid of that. Like, the way I see it, Yashiro’s concern with popularity stems from her own desire for people to like her (it goes hand in hand with her romantic personality), so if these fish tell her “Oh, you’re nothing more than a walking disaster as a human, no one will love you if you stay here. but if you come with us, you will be loved by all”, it doesn’t surprise me that she would be tempted by the idea.

Oh, is Hanako finally here?

There he is!! And as always, he arrives just in the nick of time and rescues her with great dramatic flair. Also, there’s something about fish!Yashiro’s expression that is just really funny to me.

He says “your world may be kind to her...this one my be cruel...but it doesn’t matter” 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ಥ‿ಥ you tell them, Hanako! They have no right to try and take Yashiro away from this world and him. Also, this page is beautiful holy shit, it’s simple yet detailed where needed. “Are you gonna praise the art style every recap?” you ask……...yeah, probably

ಥ‿ಥ  I love them so much ಥ‿ಥ

You know? Sometimes I forget how scary Hanako can look sometimes. But then his eyes go all black and he smiles like that and I remember.  The threat seems to be enough to send the fish packing, though, even if they do say that they won’t give up on getting Yashiro to go with them.

Ahhhh, this makes me so happy! They’re clearly still learning to interact in a more “serious” manner around each other. It’s a slow process but they’re communicating more effectively (Yashiro with her speech to him when she gave him the donuts and Hanako apologizing not only now but also after the confession tree incident) and it’s really nice to see. And just look at how happy that made her! That’s all that she wanted, for him to reach out to her after he avoided her for a while. Another thing that I really appreciate is these rare moments where we get Hanako acting sincerely, no jokes or cheeky smiles, just him laying out his genuine feelings; especially here, since it proves that what the fish said was wrong.

I feel the need to point out that she’s not denying it. Like, yes, she meant it as friends, but the implications are there and don’t think for a second that I don’t see the “badum, badum, badum” and the blush. The romantic chemistry they have is very apparent and I’m living for it.

OH! There it is! Well, I’m glad that the reveal didn’t take very long (even if it was a pretty important thing to be spoiled on).

That’s a nice detail. He’s trying to act naturally but this is clearly a sensitive topic for him……..which makes me think that Yashiro’s assumption last chapter will be right.

……………..yeah, there it is. Can’t say I’m particularly surprised but it’s still a hard pill to swallow. I talked about it last chapter (and maybe during some of the other chapters as well) but with the clues we’ve been given and considering Hanako’s behaviour, the theory that makes the most sense to me so far is that Hanako probably killed his brother in self-defence. Then again, this is still pretty early in the story, so there’s probably a lot we still don’t know. Like I mentioned earlier, Hanako also has moments where he looks/acts scary, so there could be something more to that. It could also just be a side effect of him becoming a supernatural but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hanako asks her if she really wants to get to know him after learning that, and tells her that if she does, he will tell her everything someday. And this is a great step in the right direction. Not only it puts Yashiro’s concerns ("does he trust me?”) at ease, but also it shows his current feelings ("i’m not ready to share yet, but i need to let het know that) and his willingness to open up and be vulnerable in the future. Character development, gotta love it.

(TдT)(TдT)(TдT)

OH!!!! Are we shifting perspectives to the suspicious girl?? Because I remember that in the anime she was always the one that spread the rumors over the radio, or, well, the intercom, I guess. And since we now know that she’s Hanako’s brother’s assistant, there’s a very high chance of seeing him again. I’m both excited and terrified by the prospect. ALSO what the actual fuck is that on the left. Why are there body parts seemingly floating around??? is this just an artistic choice or are they actually there?? Either way, it’s creepy as hell.

Oh, god, it looks like those things are actually there in the room and just imagining being there gives me goosebumps. But yes, anyway, there she is! And Natsuhiko, too! Gotta say, kinda missed our suspicious person 1 and suspicious person 2. He’s worried about letting Hanako’s brother run off but she says that he wouldn’t have listened to her if she had tried to stop him anyway. Which is interesting, since while Hanako does march to the beat of his own drum, he still seems to take what Yashiro and Kou say into consideration (even if just a little bit).

Oh? “boundaries within cities”? Like, not just within the school? We know that she has knowledge of the boundaries thanks to her conversation with Yashiro in the library but maybe she’s expanding her search to reach a bigger scope?

Natsuhiko is worried about the chance of our wonder trio finding out they’re the ones behind the changes in the rumors. And that’s a valid concern, since Hanako is in charge of maintaining the relationships between humans and supernaturals, and he obviously would have to intervene. 

………...I-I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this omfg. She certainly has him wrapped around her finger, huh?

(⚆.⚆)  Oh boy, there he is, oh boy. 

I’m sorry I just have to point out how utterly done she looks. Like, since she slapped Natsuhiko for touching her hand, I’m guessing she’s not a very touchy-feely person, so this must be quite bothersome for her. Still, her expression is wonderful lol Also! It looks like not caring about people’s personal bubbles is something that runs in the family……….oh, is that why she called him a cat? Possibly.

Okay, so he says that this is not his usual outfit (and that explains the more Japanese-style outfit I saw him wearing in the spoiler) but he wore it because he “was seeing Amane for the first time in ages.” So there’s the confirmation about the fact that he hasn’t been at the school for a significant amount of time. And, again, that’s very suspicious.

Okay. Listen. He looks very cute. But Hanako’s terrified expression keeps reappearing in my mind when I think that. So I’m gonna wait and see what’s the deal with this boy because for now I mostly feel….unsettled.

“He looked happy to see me,” he says, while floating around in a childlike manner. I, uh, um. Are you sure about that, honey?? Because it sure didn’t seem like it to me. 

Also: “But I still can’t move around that well yet. They chased me off.” So that’s what happened on the rooftop. He said that she had helped him get here, so maybe his spirit form hasn’t fully “materialized” enough  for him to move around comfortably.

(⚆.⚆) (⚆.⚆)  Remember how I said that I felt unsettled? Well, this really isn’t helping the matter jfc

Wow he’s really clingy, like, even more than Hanako by the looks of it. He’s like my cats when it’s time for me to feed them. Also! Sakura! I’m guessing that’s her name, right? I can finally stop calling her suspicious girl lol

But yeah, quite the trio we have here. Now that Hanako’s brother is here, I’m guessing that their little ensemble is complete since they would work in direct opposition to Yashiro, Hanako and Kou.

Oh! I feel like I’ve said “oh” so much this chapter….oh, well. The fish are back! “We’ve found him” Are they talking about Hanako’s brother? Do they know who he is or maybe they are mistaking him for Hanako?

Ah, no. They saw what happened in the rooftop the other day; they recognize him and they remember how shaken Hanako looked at the time so they want to win him over to be able to fight against Hanako. I mean, it’s not a bad plan. Hanako’s brother doesn’t seem to want to hurt him but by that one interaction they had, we can see that their relationship definitely has some complicated layers.

So what’s been happening with the rumors has reached even the mermaid’s kingdom? That really makes me wonder exactly how interconnected the different worlds are since information seems to travel quite fast.

Natsuhiko spotted the fish and…

*me, remembering his comment about wanting to see how the fish are on the inside*  (⚆.⚆)

(;;⚆_⚆) (;;⚆_⚆)

(ﾟдﾟ；) yeah, I don’t think he’s gonna listen to you, Sakura.  jfc that’s a face that’s gonna appear in my nightmares

Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)  (ﾟдﾟ；)  Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)

……………………don’t get me wrong, I wanted the fish to stop interfering but. not like This. I-Well, that’s certainly a way to end a chapter omfg. The fact that Sakura and Natsuhiko, seem to be used to him doing this kind of thing is…...concerning, to say the least.