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late-to-the-party-81 · 9 months ago

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Red Carpet Ready

AN: So when all the pictures and gifs from the Berlinale festival started to come out over the last week a lot of the folk on the BBE server went, shall we say, feral. When this particular gif appeared, @mrs-illyrian-baby, @buckyismybicycle and I started to have thots. Thots about a cool, calm collected movie star Bucky leaving a very wrung out reader melted in the back of the limo as he strode out onto the red carpet. And this was born.

Not beta’d.

Likes are loved, reblogs are golden.

Mood board by me and dividers by @firefly-graphics

Master list

Summary: You love your job as Bucky’s PA. You love him even more, even if he doesn’t know it. On your way to an awards ceremony he appears more nervous than usual and thanks to a traffic jam you find the best way to get him out of his head.

Relationship: Movie Star Bucky Barnes x PA Fem Reader

Word count: 3k

CW: AU - Modern Day, Anxious Bucky, Pining, Power Imbalance, Explicit Sexual Content (Oral - M receiving, Vaginal fingering), Bucky’s A+ Dirty Talk, Implied future spicy time, effectively PWP.

You lurched in your seat as the limo braked. Luckily it hadn’t been going fast, but it was enough to fracture your concentration. You looked up from your checklist towards the other occupant of the back seat, your boss, the famous movie-star Bucky Barnes.

You’d been his PA for several years now, acting as a go-between him and his manager, getting him booked into hotels under pseudonyms, liaising with his media team and his stylist, fetching coffees and a hundred and one other things. Luckily, he was a lovely man to work for, polite and respectful, but, unfortunately for you, he was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. You remembered when you first got the job - you’d spent most of your days refusing to actually speak unless necessary, lest you embarrass yourself by letting slip your not safe for work inner thoughts. However, as time had passed you’d not only relaxed, but also been able to get to know the man behind the mask, meaning that you and Bucky now had an easy friendship. It was based on mutual respect and shared memories, and you treasured it intensely. Your friends wondered why you stayed in a job that left you with no real base, flitting around the world for shoots, premieres and interviews. You told them that it suited you. You didn’t tell them that it was because you were in love with your employer.

Bucky looked nervous and ran his hands through his shaggy hair. He didn’t often wear it that long, but he was growing it out for a part, more willing to do that than have to put up with a stifling wig on top of what was bound to be an equally stifling costume. His left knee jiggled, letting you know his anxiety was on the rise.

Tonight he was attending an awards ceremony, one in which he’d been nominated for the Best Actor category. That in itself wasn’t that strange, he’d been nominated several times over the last few years, but this time was different, this time there was a high chance he would actually win. Such a thing was utterly deserved in your biassed opinion, but Bucky had been the runner-up so many times before and his nerves were starting to get the better of him.

Realising you’d been staring at him for too long, you looked back down at your checklist and cleared your throat.

“You’re being seated next to Yelena, as she’s your co-star in the next movie, so at least you’ll be with someone you know.”

Bucky grunted and turned his head to look out of the tinted windows as the lights of L.A. moved passed at a much slower pace than you would have liked. The traffic was to be expected really, the great and good of Hollywood, plus all their fans, out in force for tonight’s event. It would have been more surprising if the roads hadn’t been blocked.

With a sigh you put down your clipboard and reached out to place your hand on Bucky’s knee to grab his attention.

“You’ll be fine, you know,” you soothed. “You’ve got your acceptance speech in your jacket pocket still, haven’t you?” You watched as he patted his hand against his chest, checking for the folded paper housed in the inside pocket of his black jacket and gave you a small nod in confirmation. He wore a navy blue shirt under the black suit and had foregone a tie. In your opinion - and you had a lot of those about Bucky - he looked stunning.

He was also uncharacteristically quiet.

You wracked your brains, trying to think of a way to get him out of his head. From the corner of your eye you saw him push his finger down the collar of his shirt and give it a tug. You clucked your tongue and rolled your eyes and leant forward in your seat, both hands outstretched towards the offending fabric.

“Let’s just undo that for a moment. We’ve got time, and you’ve got me here to make sure you look presentable.”

He chuckled at that, and your heart soared. Your fingers made quick work of the top two buttons of his shirt and Bucky let out a deep sigh in appreciation.

“Thanks, Doll. Don’t know what I’d do without you.” His voice was rough from staying quiet for so long, his vocal cords stiff.

Your lips turned up at the edges. “I’m sure you would have thought of it yourself, or found another way to get rid of your nerves.”

His eyes, stormy grey-blue, flicked up to yours just then, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. There was a feeling, nebulous and just out of reach, that you could almost identify brewing between you. Moments like this had occurred a handful of times over the last few months, coinciding with Bucky getting over his last heartbreak. His previous girlfriend had been… alright - it wasn’t any of your business of course and you definitely hadn’t stalked her socials whatsoever - but it hadn’t surprised you when they’d called it a day. However, once he’d started to get back on level footing, you’d noticed him watching you more, and you weren’t sure how you felt about that.

First of all, you couldn’t be sure that you weren’t actually imagining it. You’d been in love with him for so long it wouldn’t surprise you if your brain had started to make you hallucinate.

Secondly, even if Bucky was watching you more, it didn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe he was just making sure you were alright and weren’t being harassed by any of the pricks that tended to inhabit the movie scene.

However, if it was what your brain was telling you it was, where did that leave you? He was your boss - okay, technically his manager was, but po-tay-to, po-ta-to - and a famous movie star to boot. It was a recipe for disaster if ever there was one, even if your heart, and other parts of you, were begging for it.

“Hmm,” Bucky pondered, amusement peppering his voice. “Other ways to destress. I wonder what you could mean, Doll.”

You giggled at his unsubtle innuendo and playfully smacked his arm. “Behave, Mr Barnes!”

He laughed back and rolled his eyes. “Now I’m in trouble. You brought out the big guns. Making me turn around and look for my father.”

You continued to laugh, but suddenly the limo breaked again, much harder than last time, and you practically flew out of your front facing seat to land on your knees on the carpeted floor.

“Shit!” Bucky exclaimed, and his hands clamped around the tops of your arms, steadying you. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head to clear it and looked up, ready to confirm that you were, when your mouth went dry. Bucky loomed over you and his thick thighs bracketed you where you were kneeling on the floor of the limo between his legs. In the space of a breath his eyes, his expression morphed from one of concern to something darker, and more primal. When you heard him mutter “Fuck” under his breath, you knew that your brain had not been deceiving you over the past months.

Bucky wanted you.

And although your mouth was still dry, your panties were having the opposite problem.

His gaze, dark and dangerous, pinned you in place, like a butterfly on a collectors board. You made no attempt to get up - you didn’t think you’d be able to even if you did want to - and that decision told Bucky everything he needed to know. Gone was the nervous wreck of a few minutes ago and in his place was a lust filled, domineering man. A hunter with his prey in sight.

He let go of you with his left hand and trailed his knuckles down your cheek. You couldn’t help it when your eyes fluttered closed at the sensation.

“I think I’m still a bit stressed, Doll. You got any ideas on how you can personally assist me with that?”

You nodded and swallowed thickly, your hands coming up to grip his suit clad thighs. You felt them tense under your grip and images of you straddling one, rubbing your slick core against the toned muscle filled your head, making your moan. He let out a deep chuckle that vibrated through his whole body.

“I’d love to know what images you’ve conjured in your head, sweetheart, and maybe I’ll persuade you to tell me later on, but we don’t have much time.” He popped open the four buttons on his jacket, revealing to you the tenting in his suit pants.

You shouldn’t be doing this, but you couldn’t stop yourself. You knew what was in there. Had been on set with him enough times in various states of dress and undress - even though you always tried to avert your eyes - to be fairly well informed, but this was the closest you’d ever been. Like a moth to a flame, your hands slid up his legs until they were gripping his hips. You looked up at him again, and he just stared back, expectantly.

Fuck. You’d never been so turned on in your life, and he hadn’t even touched you.

Carefully you unbuckled his belt, but your hands still brushed over his clothed erection which twitched under your accidental touch. You pulled down his zipper and Bucky shifted himself so that you could peel his pants part way down his thighs.

There was a dark, damp spot on his grey boxer briefs and they clung to his body, outlining the shape and size of him. You licked your lips without thinking, and drew the lower one in between your teeth.

Were you really about to suck Bucky’s cock in the back of the limo? You were glad that the privacy screen had gone up straight away, to give you time to get Bucky ready for the red carpet, although the you of twenty minutes ago had in no way envisioned this scenario ever happening outside of your private imaginings.

Bucky took hold of your right hand and laid it over his bulge and you couldn’t help but give him a gentle squeeze through his briefs. He inhaled sharply through his nose and his eyes fluttered briefly, before they were back on you, somehow darker than before. You felt emboldened, the fact you held power over his desire making you dizzy, and you let go of him so you could pull down the waistband of his underwear and get your first, up close look at Bucky’s cock.

For a moment you were worried your arousal would spill over your panties and leave a wet spot on the carpet between your knees as you took him in with your gaze. He was everything you’d ever imagined from your brief glances and you barely hesitated before you wrapped your hand around the firm warmth of him and took his tip between your lips.

You were aware of several things at once - the clean, musky scent and taste of him, as well as the salacious noise that left his lips at your first, tentative caress. You also heard a thud and cast your eyes upwards to see that Bucky had let his head fall back against the privacy screen. You should have been worried about what the driver may be thinking, but in reality, you didn’t care. All that mattered was Bucky.

You explored him with your fingers, lips and tongue, revelling in the groans, grunts and whispered mumblings that fell from his lips. His right hand still held your upper arm, but his left came up to gently cup the back of your head, not forcing you down, but just adding another connection between the two of you.

You bobbed your head and took him as deep as you could, your throat swallowing around his length until spots appeared in front of your eyes and you had to draw back.

“Jeez, Doll. Fuck! How did I not see what was right under my nose for all those years? Coulda been doing this sooner. Coulda had you writhing in my bed, creaming on me like you’re probably creaming those panties of yours right now.”

You hummed your agreement and tongued his slit, before tracing down his frenulum and around the underside of his head.

“Whatever happens this evening, you’re mine tonight. Gonna treat you right, Doll. Gonna fuck you until you don’t know your own name any more, only mine. And if I win? Shit. Might need an extra day and night in the hotel. God. I’m close, sweetheart. You gonna swallow it all? Can’t spill a drop on my suit. Can’t have me go out there with cum on my pants.”

You swallowed him down deep again, flattening your tongue against the ridgid length of him, and reached down with your hand to massage his tightening balls. Bucky’s hips started to jerk, so taken over by his desires that he was unable to hold back from fucking your mouth, at least a little bit.

“That’s it. Take it. Take it. Such a good girl. Every drop. Every. Fucking. Drop.” He came with a guttural groan, his cum filling your mouth as you struggled to swallow it. Even when his orgasm finally stopped, you continued to lick and kiss his cock as it softened, intending to clean it as best you could. In the end, Bucky had to ease you away, and you realised you were probably overstimulating him. He didn’t leave you disappointed for long, though. Easily manhandling you back onto your seat, it was then his turn to kneel in front of you.

“Fucking perfect, sweetheart.” His hands skimmed up your thighs, sliding under your, entirely sensible, black shift dress. The thumb of his right hand brushed over the front of your panties and your throbbing clit, making you whine and twitch.

“You are soaked,” he drawled. “Good fucking girl.”

Bucky leaned into your space and his lips captured yours in a searing kiss, his tongue demanding immediate entry and no-doubt tasting himself as he did so. At the same time, the fingers of his right hand slipped under your panties, and slid through your sodden folds. His kiss swallowed your cries as he toyed with your clit, the sensation almost bordering on too much.

Then he slid a finger inside you.

You felt Bucky smile into the kiss at your reaction, your pussy clenching down on his intrusion.

“Such a greedy pussy,” he muttered before adding a second. “I got you, Doll. Can’t wait to get my cock in you.”

Your only response was another moan and another clench around his invading digits. When he changed the angle of his fingers, you ripped your lips from his as you threw your head back.

“There it is. Look at me, sweetheart. Want you to look at me when you come.” Bucky’s voice was deep and commanding and you wouldn’t have been able to disobey him, even if you’d had the presence of mind to do so. You meet his gaze from under heavy lids as his fingers and thumb continued to drive you upwards assisted by Bucky’s voice which only ever spoken to you like this in your deepest fantasies.

“That’s it, Doll. Need you to come for me. Need to know how hard you’re gonna strangle my cock later. Need to know how beautiful you look when you come. Gonna be smelling your pussy on my fingers all evening. Hell, if I win I’ll hold that statue with this hand and get you all over it. Fuck! Do it now, sweetheart. Come now.”

Your whole body spasmed as you came, your hands gripping Bucky’s right forearm to hold him still. Up was down and down was up as the world span before your eyes at the intensity of your orgasm. Eventually though, reality had to set back in and Bucky pulled his hand from the clutch of your body.

“Bucky!” You keened, your body still sensitive, but protesting at emptiness nonetheless.

“Later, Doll,” he placated at your disappointed whine. “I meant it. This isn’t over by a long shot. I’ll see you after the ceremony. I’m ready for that red carpet now and it’s all thanks to you.” He sucked on his fingers, grinning as he did so then leaned forward and dropped a soft, almost chaste kiss to your lips.

You blinked owlishly at him, your brain still trying to process what had just happened while you clit pulsed between your folds. Bucky smiled, pulling your dress down before putting his own clothes to rights, including the top buttons of his shirt. The limo jerked to a halt a few moments later, but this time it wasn’t due to a traffic jam, but because it had pulled up right by the venue.

With a much more relaxed demeanor that when the limo had set off, Bucky alighted when the driver opened his door. It wasn’t until you watched back the footage, much later in his hotel room, that you could see that Bucky was re-buttoning his jacket as he walked up the red-carpet, a smug look plastered onto his face. Most people thought the expression was related to his nomination, but you knew better.

What you did agree with the general public on though, was the delight on Bucky’s face when his name was read out as the winner of the leading actor category. You were watching from the sides, having ridden in the limo around to the back of the venue, having used the few extra minutes to put your scrambled brain back together. You stood with the other PAs, managers and media secretaries of the main nominees, all of you with your fingers crossed.

But while everyone else in the hall whistled and cheered when Bucky made his way to the stage for his acceptance speech, you were on your phone, quickly altering his hotel booking to include an extra night. He had promised after all.

Tag list: @christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @wolfsmom1, @doasyoudesireandlive, @sonatabee-blog, @goldylions, @galactusdevourerofworlds, @apenny4thots, @crayongirl-linz, @km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes smut

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actorsmask · 9 months ago

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@mr-cold-feet @s1lvermane-capt 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔-

obsessed w/him actually

#CMON GUYS LOOK AT HIM #ITS A VISCERAL N E E D .#actor’s mask shares media!#actor’s mask talks to mr cold feet!#actor’s mask talks to s1lvermane!#hsr

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deadnatura11 · 15 days ago

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I think we need to deconstruct the 'Risky Business' scene and take a step back -

I just watched a video where someone put Ryan's dancing and the actual scene with Tom Cruise side by side for comparison and it was... pretty spot on. Like maybe a 95% accuracy rate.

Now from a production perspective, we write this off as a fun homage and reference to an older movie that was probably pretty popular with the writer's room, which tracks given what we know about the bts workers for the show.

However, if we think about it from a story perspective -

Why would Eddie, in his first allowed moment of actualized joy, recreate the Risky Business dance scene?

On its face, Eddie has probably never lived alone in his life. He went from his childhood home to the army to then sharing a house with his wife and child to then only his child. That man has never had an actual moment of privacy. Here he is essentially 'alone' and he is learning how to be by himself, how to be okay with being alone, which he would have had to learn how to do anyway once Chris goes to college. Chris being in Texas is making Eddie reckon with this much earlier. And in doing so he is learning how to take care of himself and his needs. Circling back to the airplane disaster earlier this season, he needs to put his own mask on before he can help anyone else with theirs. He can't be a good parent to Chris without working on himself. And part of that is giving himself the space to be alone in his house, dancing in his underwear, naked. He is learning to let go of his shame, which we see happen by not even bothering to put pants on when he sees Buck. Usually, when this scene was recreated in other shows, the person "caught" dancing in their underwear feels immediately embarrassed and tries to walk it back. Eddie did no such thing. This is a step in the right direction.

Furthermore, Risky Business was a movie that came out in 1983 (and also was the catalyst for Tom Cruise's long-standing rumors that he was a gay man, which I won't get into here, discuss the validity of these claims, nor how it also relates to Eddie's journey). Given what we know about Eddie, he is a 90s baby. He was born a decade AFTER this movie came out. So by the time he saw it, it was not at the height of its popularity.

Like I've mentioned, this scene has been recreated throughout media since its debut, so there were many opportunities for him to learn about the movie on his own.

But the choice of pulling a Risky Business allows us to infer:

- dancing around is something he has wanted to do

- dancing the Risky Business dance was something he has wanted to do for a long time

Furthermore, the step by step recreation means that Eddie has had to have watched the movie, watched that scene, hundreds of times to do it so flawlessly.

Now imagine a young Eddie Diaz... sitting in front of his living room tv... late at night... the movie muted... rewinding the tape in his VHS to watch Tom Cruise dance around in his underwear and wondering why he can't stop watching and why it makes him happy.

I'll end by including this link to an OUT article about the cultural significance of Tom Cruise in 'Risky Business' to the queer community.

Tl;dr - Eddie saying he is straight means nothing as he was able to flawlessly recreate the 'Risky Business' dance scene from memory.

#9-1-1 on abc #911 abc #911 on abc #eddie diaz #gay eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 spec #eddie diaz character analysis #i love storytelling #and intentional storytelling #eddie diaz had a crush on tom cruise is now a hc i regretfully have #and yes this will lead to #buddie

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synergysilhouette · 4 months ago

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"Batman: Caped Crusader" review

Binge-watched this show, and I wanted to be one of many people to share my thoughts on this--plus I was spurred on by getting a wish of mine granted from the show. Make sure to check out the show if you can!

The animation is beautiful--I know this is a weird comparison, but soemthing about the animation reminds me of 2010s Scooby Doo animated films, and I kind of adore that.

The voice acting was...fine--I can't tell if it was poor performances or poor direction; Hamish's Bruce Wayne sounds too raspy/rugged some of the time, like he's still playing Batman, and many of the other actors felt like they were just reading lines rather than performing lines, not enough emotion. IDK if they're more used to live-action work, but voice-acting is a different ballgame, since your voice is all you have to convey the character. A lot of performances fell flat for me, but it wasn't 100% unbearable, just underwhelming. I have some people I'd recommend instead (both familiar to the role and otherwise), but I don't wanna start anything.

LOVED Harley (but not her costume)--Jamie Chung had one of the better performances in the group, and I really LOVED the angle they did for Harley; I feel like the media often flanderizes her as the goofy crazy chick, so seeing her actually utilize her psychology skills (like I've been asking for!) is so satisfying. That said, the outfit has GOT TO GO. Gold and black is gorgeous, but it ples in comparison to her black and red look. And a weird nit-pick; when I first saw the stills, I was under the impression she was wearing a carnival-esque mask rather than face paint, and I find that idea a lot creepier. I wish we'd gotten more of Harley's antics--and even seeing her get close to Bruce in the way she did with Barbara and Renee--before revealing her as a big bad to the public. And I appreciate that she isn't 100% evil; she is doing what she believes is a noble cause, just doing it in an illegal and unethical way. I needed a backstory!

Not enough Batman--Maybe it's just me, but it definitely felt like there were some episodes where Bruce and Batman were supporting characters and more focus was on the GCPD. While I don't mind it too much, I enjoy superhero shows for the superheroes, not the heroes; this is why I had a love/hate relationship with "Gotham."

Batman (and Bruce) isn't quite likeable enough--In earlier incarnations, Batman was more kind and caring before becoming more emotionally closed off with time, but here he's that way from the get-go. Not to mention that Bruce Wayne puts on a facade around everyone, even people he trusts (he probably did that anyway; I can't remember), and his session with Harleen really frustrated me because I don't expect his walls to come down immediately, I don't expect them to be this high this early. I wanted him to be a bit warmer and transparent, rather than curt and cold like he's usually seen in the show. I feel like this is an issue often seen in comics, too; people prioritize Batman's "coolness" and thus push his feelings to the wayside.

Using underrated and familiar villains--I'm sure the real experts are gonna chew me out for this one, but as someone who got into comics in the 2010s and didn't catch up on the acclaimed 90s series, it was fun to see villains I loved and villains I didn't know; one of the best things a popular property can do is use underrated characters, since it helps the show feel original and fresh (thus why "Teen Titans" is so enjoyable; the whole franchise is underrated).

Too modern for the 1940s--I can't put my fingers on it exactly, but the vibes feel too modern; I assume the 1940s was for aesthetics, but since everything else feels updated (from the way people talk to Harley and Renee seemingly being open about their feelings for each other), I don't think it was a wise choice to have it both ways. I see no reason not to have it in modern-day, but I suppose you'd have to get more creative with technology.

Barbara and the Robins--First off, I should've gambled with someone that Jason would be a redhead; I'd have made SO MUCH money. Secondly, I'm not crazy about how all four kids are orphans; If I recall correctly, both Carrie and Stephanie's parents were alive when they joined the Batfamily. In any case, I'm confused on why Barbara is significantly older than them when they're all supposed to be within the same age bracket (I think; someone has told me otherwise since posting this, so I could be wrong). Not to mention, a part of me worries that because of the quartet's young ages and Barbara getting so much screentime as a lawyer, we won't get any of them as Robins or Batgirls unless something drastic happens, and/or we get a time jump.

Overall, I think my biggest gripes are the voice acting and how Batman/Bruce Wayne is written. That said, I enjoyed the show overall. IDK why HBO Max dropped it. Hopefully season 2 will introduce Poison Ivy, Catman, Tim Drake, Ghostmaker, and Gardener, since the finale already showed us a certain someone who IS coming to Gotham.

#batman #bruce wayne #batman caped crusader #caped crusader #harley quinn #catwoman #barbara gordon #dick grayson #stephanie brown #jason todd #carrie kelly #two face #dc comics

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meefy · 4 months ago

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Diverse Autistic Characters in Akagami no Shirayukihime

I could go on for hours about my dislike of how autism is, for the most part, portrayed in popular media - the butt of a cruel joke; autism representation by a non-Autistic actor; or centered around the plot of the story itself, where it boils down to the Autistic person "overcoming" their autism or some outside force "fixing" it (or, semi related, an Autistic character being shoehorned in as a token minority).

I think that's one of the reason I love Akagami no Shirayukihime so much. While none of the characters are confirmed as Autistic, the ones that are quite blatantly Autistic-coded are so diverse and so welcomed by the cast that it's both sweet and refreshing to see.

I have talked at length about Ryuu and why I love his character so much, so I don't want to get into it too much here because I've said most of what I want to say. He is, at first glance, the "typical" popular culture depiction of autism: the male child savant who has no friends, can't socialize, and has the niche restricted interests in science that seem to characterize every big Autistic character in media. But it doesn't take long to see he is so much more than that! His interests in poisons has granted him a field of study and work where he thrives and does what he loves day in and day out. His mentor, Garak, supports him and treats him as an equal, and looks for opportunities for him to grow - as does everyone around him, including Shirayuki.

Ryuu's time in Lilias was so beautifully depicted. The years he spends studying and working there are not him masking his Autistic traits or "beating" them; they are years of him feeling safe and supported enough to test his comfort levels and branch out because he knows he won't be mocked or scorned for it. He has found an environment where he thrives because of his Autistic traits, not in spite of them. And so, as of most recently, we see that he wants to remain in Lilias to continue his studies there because of this. His growth is not reduced to finally acting neurotypical; Ryuu being Autistic has not changed. But he has found others who share his passions, who support him, and who encourage him without changing who he is.

I also want to touch on Kirito specifically, because he is one of the few people Ryuu's own age who interacts with him. Kirito is too young to hold back his questions about Ryuu's behaviour. Why is he running away from a crowd of people? Why has he never had a snowball fight? But Kirito doesn't dwell on Ryuu's quirks; he accepts them, moves on, and focuses on what the two have in common - which is what I would hope for any Autistic person, myself included.

What is particularly special to me about how Autistic characters are depicted in AnS is the diversity. Too often I see Autistic characters depicted in the same way, like the author read a WebMD checklist and created a character around said list. Autism is a spectrum, and with that comes two ends of the spectrum.

Which brings me to Lata.

Although I haven't explicitly mentioned at length Lata + autism the same way I've discussed it about Ryuu (and although I could write a whole essay on it), I do want to go in a bit more depth because his overlap and contrast with Ryuu is exactly the kind of Autistic representation I live for. Ryuu actively wants to work to help people; Lata seeks to work in solitude. Ryuu is open and generally friendly with others, Lata is blunt and evasive. Ryuu's expressions are generally flat (and his voice monotone in the anime); Lata is quite expressive (even if he doesn't smile often, and neither does Ryuu). Yet we see certain similarities between the two; for instance, both have their own niche hyperfixations that they absolutely live for, and neither is totally at ease in crowds.

But leaving Ryuu out of the equation, one of my favourite things about Lata's character is that none of the Lyrias crew seemed genuinely bothered by how he acts. Like, even Obi's teasing is, by and large, in good faith. They're just like "Oh, that’s just how Lata is..." and move past it. Most recently in Chapter 133, Shirayuki is visibly happy to see him. And related to that, the other scholars always go out of their way to include and invite him to their outings - to their banquet celebrating the successful germination of the phostyrias, or to see them blooming in their lab. Even if he always declines, and they probably know he will always decline, they ask. Speaking on a personal note, I am like Lata and really, really hate parties or any large gathering; so people (understandably) stopped inviting me. And that hurt; even if I knew I'd say no, and wouldn't go, people actually thinking of me meant a lot more than they likely realized.

So, seeing representation of people actively trying to invite and include their Autistic comrade means so much to me.

Lastly, I want to talk about Shirayuki. It's not terribly often that Autistic representation in media is a female character, let alone the lead character. I know I am not alone in thinking Shirayuki is Autistic, but I do love its subtlety unless you know what to look for. The long running theory that there is a "girl" autism (versus the stereotypical "male" autism that is most commonly diagnosed and seen in popular culture) is absurd; autism is a spectrum, and just where some Autistics are reclusive, have a flat affect, and exhibit quirky behaviours and interests, there are plenty that are the complete opposite, or somewhere else along the spectrum. In many respects, this describes Shirayuki; she seems to have no trouble making friends, attending parties, or showing emotion.

And yet, she has the intense focus in herbalism and pharmacology that mirrors Ryuu's in many respects; she just does not express that interest in the same, "typical" Autistic way. She reads her textbooks to relax and spends time in a garden (the latter of which is, stereotypically, a perfectly expected behaviour for someone of her gender). It's easy to forget that, much like how Ryuu ran away from the crowd on his first day in Lyrias (a depiction of an Autistic shutdown), Shirayuki ran away from Zen when her feelings for him became too overwhelming. She asks Zen for a comfort object of his when she leaves for Tanbarun, much like how many Autistic people have a particular tangible object that gives them comfort. Shirayuki is also blunt; she tells Prince Raji to act more like a leader she can be proud of, and rebuffs the knight who insults Ryuu at the beginning of the story - her low rank does not deter her. Autistic people are sometimes known for apparently "not understanding" power dynamics and rules (which I doubt, as do most Autistic people - I think it's more likely that the rules and dynamics are simply unfair, and created and upheld by neurotypical people) - Shirayuki's behaviour certainly seems to fit this. She is not rude by any means...but where it might intimidate many others, a person's title does not keep her from speaking her mind. In many respects she reminds me of myself!

I could go on and on about this topic - and how different Autistic traits are present in different characters - but I'm comfortable stopping at Ryuu, Lata, and Shirayuki (at least for now), and reiterating that media like AnS proves that diverse Autistic characters can exist without being a punchline, can grow throughout the story without shedding their Autistic traits, and can be accepted, supported, and loved by others for who they are. This series is dear to my heart, and this is but one (albeit huge) reason why!

#meefymeta #akagami no shirayukihime #ans #snow white with the red hair #swwtrh #shirayuki #lata forzeno #ryuu akagami no shirayukihime #actually autistic

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actorsmask · 11 months ago

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Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

for my fellow solitaireheads

#actor’s mask shares media!

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moutheyes · 2 months ago

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[translation] Allure Korea - Love in the Big City Interviews

Hello, for fun/practice I decided to translate the Allure Korea interviews with Nam Yoon-su, Kwon Hyuk, Na Hyun-woo, and Jin Ho-eun, who are starring in the upcoming TV adaptation of Love in the Big City. I saw bits and pieces floating around social media but hadn't seen a full translation anywhere. I've been learning Korean for a long time but still honing my translation skills, so any awkward parts or mistakes are mine. If there's anything egregiously wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it with a note!

LOVE NEVER SLEEPS / Love in the Big City: Nam Yoon-su & Kwon Hyuk, Na Hyun-woo & Jin Ho-eun

In Love in the Big City, Nam Yoon-su, Kwon Hyuk, Na Hyun-woo, and Jin Ho-eun fall in and out of love intensely, just like everyone else in the world. In Seoul, a city that never sleeps, love never disappears.

Park Sang-young’s Love in the Big City, a queer literary bestseller, will find new audiences in two separate adaptations this year. One of them is a currently airing movie, and the other is a drama about to premiere. The movie focuses on a character named Jae-hee from the original novel, while the drama depicts the first half of the novel, and Park Sang-young himself participated in writing the script.

“I tried to keep the emotions of the original story as they were,” he said. “I also put a lot of effort into reproducing the rawness of queer life in a big city, and aimed to bring out various detailed feelings in order to let viewers connect emotionally with each chapter.” As he explained, the protagonist Go Young is “a person whose natural brightness masks the sadness in his life. He is a scientist who studies everything about love, embraces the inexperience of life, and eventually turns it into something beautiful.”

This role is played by Nam Yoon-su, and the drama will be a total of eight episodes, with two each directed by renowned directors who have appeared in various film festivals: Hur Jin-ho, Hong Ji-young, Son Tae-gyeom, and Kim Se-in. The actors (T/N: except for Nam Yoon-su) all said that they met for the first time at the photoshoot. There’s never been a drama like this before in Korea, but it’s a drama that must exist. Borrowing them for a time, Allure Korea met the four actors who loved each other passionately.

NAM YOON-SU

I have to ask how you’re doing. As soon as filming ended on the drama, you donated a kidney to a family member and became an ambassador for the Life-Sharing Campaign. No one knew about this?

I lost some weight but I’ve been healthy. I really didn’t know it would receive that much attention.

Seeing as how the episodes were filmed two at a time, aside from Yoon-su, the other actors are all meeting for the first time here?

Correct. That’s why the atmosphere is a little awkward? (laughs) Everyone’s introducing themselves and asking each other’s ages. Kwon Hyuk and Na Hyun-woo hyungs, I dated for a month each, and I dated Ho-eun for around three months?

Haha, so that’s how all of Nam Yoon-su’s men met. Or should I say, Go Young’s men?

“Nam Yoon-su’s men” works. (laughs) That’s accurate. I’ve done everything with them.

How did you get involved with Love in the Big City?

For me, it wasn’t a difficult decision, nor was it a difficult show. I’ve had queer friends since I was young, so I’ve always been open-minded. I could do everything the script and the director demanded of me. I thought of Go Young as a very ordinary person. He eats, sleeps, and loves like anyone else. The fascinating thing was, I received a ton of DMs after the casting was announced. They were thanking me. It was really amazing.

Haha, these are DMs you wouldn’t have received for any other dramas up until now.

People from different countries thanked me for taking part in this drama. Of course I also received hate, but there were way more thankful messages. They were even fighting in the comments. I just stayed out of it.

Park Sang-woo said, “Nam Yoon-su was destined for the role. I had a strong premonition that this person would become Go Young.”

Is that true? Thank you. (laughs)

It was a comment prepared especially for today. (laughs) But hearing that, I think the drama will remain faithful to the novel. It seems like Go Young experienced a lot of love in a compressed amount of time.

It’s because he was looking for love, isn’t it? I read the novel and thought it would make for a fun drama. I really thought hard about how I could express the story.

Didn’t the main character go through some changes? In the novel Young is described as a “fat cat,” so his nickname is “Fatty Catty” (뚱고).

Hehe, that’s correct. You have a good memory. Compared to the character in the book, I’m taller and skinnier, so in the drama “Fatty Catty” becomes a “chubby kitty.”

You’re the only one who worked with all four directors. How different were their directing styles?

Not just their filming techniques, but the crew and staff were also completely different. It felt like a fresh start every time. Directors Hur Jin-ho and Kim Se-in love to do long takes, but even those were different. Director Hong Ji-young said from the beginning, “I only film one or two takes, but there are a lot of cuts.” And director Son Tae-gyeom likes to film dialogue in a natural way. He kept only saying that it was good, so I got confused. Their styles are naturally different, so I’m also curious how the final product will turn out. I haven’t seen the final cut yet. Can I see it already?

Continuously switching between directors, what was that experience like as an actor?

I was able to learn a lot, actually. I would get used to one director’s methods, and then switching to another one would be a challenge. I would be in the middle of a scene, then get flustered and stop. It felt like a sudden change in the environment and atmosphere. We actually only had about a month to get to know each other. But as soon as we got close, it was already time to part ways, so that was sad. I think the audience will feel those directorial changes as well. That’s how different it is.

Everyone’s curious about this drama. Love in the City is described as “the story of a very ordinary queer person.” The emotion of love doesn’t change according to sexual orientation, but it can still be seen as unconventional.

It’s the same old love story. We live our lives, and the only difference is sexual orientation. I hope people see it for what it is. It’s not a surprise or a special realization that Go Young is gay, this is just his daily life. But the fact that the show is only available on streaming platforms means Korean society still thinks of it that way. I don’t know what the final cut will be like, but there are some spicy scenes, so it’s probably difficult for non-cable TV.

Korea has never seen a drama like this before?

Up until now, Korea has not had a drama like this. People ask me if doing this show will have a negative impact on me, but that’s the way I am. I’ve never thought about it, and I won’t in the future. I don’t want to act while only considering my image. I think that’s what being an actor is about.

So what is your mindset when acting?

It’s about what I want to do, and what I want is to make good shows and movies.

Just going where your heart leads? That’s simple and good.

That’s how I’ve lived my life, both as a model and when I went into acting. I just accept everything and consider whether I like or dislike it. I have a simple approach to work. I want it to be like that in the future as well. This drama, too, I just had fun while filming it.

What are you really like in a relationship?

Nothing special. Like Go Young, I just meet up and have a meal with them. I don’t date that often? (laughs) When I’m working, it’s hard to stay in contact. My relationships don’t tend to last that long. I’m quick to warm but also quick to cool. Honestly, that’s my dating style.

So you’re a bad boy, then.

I’m nice at heart. (laughs) I do everything I can for the other person. But I don’t think I’m good at dating. Hyun-woo hyung just asked me when I’m going to read his KakaoTalk messages... (laughs)

Seoul itself is another main character in Love in the Big City. Did you get to go around the city a lot?

Actually, we filmed in a lot of places. We also went to the club from the novel and filmed there. It’s a real gay club, and I heard it was the first time they allowed any filming there. They said the director went to get special permission. We put out a casting call for extras for the club scenes, and they also came and helped out.

Is there a neighborhood that represents Seoul to you?

I’m from Namyangju, and the first time I lived alone was in Wangsimni. Cheonggyecheon. I’ll never live in Apgujeong. There are a lot of bars there, which I don’t really like. After Cheonggyecheon, I lived in Dowon-dong, then Yongsan, and also Mapo-gu. I’ve lived in a lot of places, so I’ll go somewhere else next.

What kind of neighborhood do you have to live in?

Pyeongchang-dong. I’ll move there next. A place with monthly rent.

Do you enjoy living in a big city like Seoul?

There are so many people in Seoul. In some ways, there’s too many. It’s too crowded. I don’t like that part.*

If there’s no one you love among all those people, then being an urbanite can be lonely.

That’s right. So I don’t go out. Even now, I just go to the mountains. I go with my camping chair on my shoulder, eat a lunchbox by myself, and then I go back down the mountain.

You get that same kind of feeling from the drama poster—being alone in a sea of people.

That’s a real scene from the drama. There was one scene in a club in Thailand, and another one where I’m waiting for Ho-eun.

What kind of love did you experience with the three men gathered here today?

In the first two episodes, Nam-gyu and I were dating when we were students. I liked him for a while, and when I didn’t like him anymore we broke up, something like that. As for Young-su in episodes 3 and 4, when you’re young, you like older people, right? Even though you regret it later. And in episodes 5 and 6, I’m dating Gyu-ho, who’s like a friend.

Why do you think these men loved Go Young?

I came on strong. (laughs) I was the one who kissed them first and I was also the one who approached them first. How do I seduce this person? That’s what I’m thinking about.

In episode 8, do you regret getting with Habibi? As in, you should have stayed with Gyu-ho.

I do regret it. I was heartsick but didn’t show it. I had no choice but to let him go.

Even though you were acting, were there any moments when you got carried away by the emotions? In today’s interview, everyone slipped into their characters while answering. It’s interesting.

That’s how I do everything, every time. I really do get emotional in crying scenes. The other hyungs and Ho-eun are also like that. We feel everything.

It was nice to see you today, after a long time. And all the men you used to love.

That suddenly reminds me. (laughs) I did it this way and I did it that way.

How will this drama be remembered?

I don’t know if I can say this, but I don’t think there will ever be another drama like this in Korea. There wasn’t before, and there won’t be after. So I hope everyone watches it.

*T/N: this was a little hard to translate directly so I went with the general tone, but his wording was interesting to me. The word he used in the first sentence was 사람, which is a neutral word for “person/people.” In the next sentence he used 인간, which means people in a greater humanity sense. The word he used for “crowded” was 몰리다, which can also be translated as “driven,” as in herding or steering, which to me further emphasized the dehumanizing aspect of Seoul being a big city swamped with people.

KWON HYUK

Love in the Big City starts with Nam-gyu’s story, but he’s hardly mentioned in the novel. He’s the closest thing to an original character in the drama. What kind of person is he?

Nam-gyu is shrouded in mystery. (laughs) On the outside he looks well-behaved and could even be considered rigid, so he could be frustrating. On the inside he’s a person who carries a fiery sort of love. When he dates someone like Go Young, he’s incapable of hiding his true self and conveys his feelings.

If that’s the case, why did they break up?

He’s super frustrating and inflexible. When acting as Nam-gyu, I felt that Go Young’s vibe was from the current generation, like someone who’s an MZ. But although Nam-gyu works as a photographer, he really has an ahjussi’s tastes. Go Young goes to clubs and is the carefree type, but this guy drives at 60km per hour (T/N: 37 mph). I think Go Young would have found him frustrating.

We asked Park Sang-young about each character, and he said this about Nam-gyu: He’s a guy who is inexperienced in love and can’t differentiate between love and obsession.

If there are experienced and inexperienced sides to dating, he’s definitely on the inexperienced side. I think everyone has gone through an immature phase when they were obsessed with someone, and even though they should have seen and accepted that person for who they are, they kept forcing themselves to see only the good things. I could have been like that once, too.

How did you get involved with Love in the Big City?

Director Son Tae-gyeom, who filmed the first two episodes, contacted me. I liked his film Baby and Me (2017), but we didn’t know each other personally so it was a little surprising.

So a director you admired suddenly contacted you one day?

That’s right. He said he wanted to suggest the character of Nam-gyu to me. He said he’s seen almost all of my work and could already picture me as Nam-gyu. He laid everything out very clearly. It’s this kind of drama, and the production will go in this direction. He spoke with so much conviction, I thought I should trust him and give it a try.

Is that how you got your hands on the script?

It’s really fun, and there are kissing scenes, but I don’t find that difficult or burdensome. Can I play this role well? That was the assignment. Nam-gyu and I are really different. I wanted to know what the director saw in me that made him think I could portray this character well.

You’ve never been directly asked like this before?

I think so. No one’s ever asked me about that. (laughs) It’s so different, will the viewers be able to enjoy watching my character? I thought about that a lot. I also talked a lot with the director. This was a very indistinct character in the novel, so there were a lot of blanks we had to fill in. The director accepted my interpretation of the character. Nam-gyu has a unique way of speaking. He uses unusual words. Things like “that was splendid.”** Usually you’d say something was good or great, but he uses “splendid.” People don’t say that often.

What kind of director is Son Tae-gyeom?

He’s a really warm person. I had so much fun and was so happy on set. He let the actors try out a lot of stuff they wanted to do, and from the standpoint of trying to inhabit a character, I was really grateful for that.

What kind of opinions did you give?

Something that comes to mind right now is, normally if you’re introducing yourself, you’d say, “Hello, my name is Kim Nam-gyu,” right? But the Nam-gyu in my head would say, “I’m Kim. Nam-gyu.”

So that’s how you became Nam-gyu. Why was he attracted to Go Young?

I think, as with all love, It has to begin with attraction. Wasn’t I attracted to him because he was so different from me and had something I didn’t have? I thought about that while acting, but Yoon-su and I are very different as well. (laughs) I think he really is a lot like Young.

If you had to defend Nam-gyu?

I think it’s love. At first the viewers might think, “Why is this person like this?,” but if you consider Nam-gyu’s point of view from start to finish, you’ll feel sympathy for him. “Oh, of course that’s possible. It could be like that if you really like someone.” If you like someone a lot, it’s possible to act like you’re somewhere in between love and obsession.

Speaking of Go Young, he said he seduced Nam-gyu, Young-su, and Gyu-ho.

Is that what he said? He was young then so he didn’t know anything. (laughs)

Then did Nam-gyu seduce him?

Of course. Nam-gyu takes photos, and he met Go Young for the first time at a clothing photoshoot. Although it was his first time doing it, there was something in his eyes. There was a certain energy about his photos, and that’s how it started.

After breaking up with Go Young, does Nam-gyu think about him?

I think he was too into him. Because Go Young made him frustrated with himself, he went too fast. He tried to change himself, so doesn’t that mean he still likes Go Young a lot?

How was your chemistry with Yoon-su?

I felt that Yoon-su is a lot like Go Young, both on and off set. I wondered if he was always like that or if he was just acting like Go Young in his daily life for the sake of the drama, but he was always like that. (laughs) So I enjoyed it and it was always fun.

Seoul itself is another main character in Love in the Big City. Did you get to go around the city a lot?

We shot a lot in Itaewon and went around to various other places. We also went to Namsan and Jongno, and filmed while going around Seoul.

Is there a neighborhood that represents Seoul to you?

I’ve always liked Namsan Tower. Whenever I see it, I want to go up and look out at the city. So I went there a lot, and earlier this year I moved to a place where I could see Namsan Tower. I also like Yongsan. It’s the very center of Seoul.

Love is something all these characters yearn and work for. Is there a line that expresses Nam-gyu’s love?

I can think of two. One of them is in the narration, I think. “If obsession isn’t a form of love, then I’ve never been in love before.” The other one is, “Eat this, it’s really delicious,” and it’s when he gives Go Young something he really likes, but Go Young said he doesn’t like it. I think these two lines represent Nam-gyu really well.

What are you really like in a relationship?

I never touch the other person. I’m the kind of person who lets things be and tries to like them for who they are, without trying to change them. It’s my dream to get married someday.

What does it take to live romantically in this big city?

Love, of course. You have to live while loving someone to your heart’s content. We only have one life, so I think it would be nice to love someone sincerely.

How will this drama be remembered?

You’ll have to watch it to find out. For starters, we were really cold, since we filmed in December.

I guess Nam-gyu’s love was cold.

When we filmed at the top of Namsan Tower, it was so cold that I thought, “This is really how you lose weight.” It was 20 degrees (Celsius) below freezing. I couldn’t move my face, but I still made a lot of fun and happy memories. I don’t know how the world will remember this drama but I think it’ll be a really happy memory in my life. Also, infinite thanks to everyone who was determined and supported this drama... wasn’t it a challenge for everyone? An awesome challenge.

**T/N: The Korean word he uses here is 훌륭하다, which can also be translated as superb, marvelous, grand, etc. You get the idea. I’m curious how the subtitlers will handle Nam-gyu’s word choices!

NA HYUN-WOO

You play Young-su in episodes 3 and 4, which are directed by Hur Jin-ho.

That’s right. I’m that Young-su.

It must have been a difficult role. He’s hard to like in the novel.

Every time we filmed that kind of scene, the director, director of photography, and lighting director would all say, “what a bastard.” But it would have been impossible to play Young-su if I thought of him as unpleasant, so I tried my best to understand the role.

Park Sang-young describes Young-su as “someone who can’t accept himself, and even makes the people who love him feel lonely.” How did you approach the role?

I only thought about wanting to play him well. He has a lot of self-loathing. Of course he’s going to find love someday. Wouldn’t he be a better person due to his relationship with Go Young? I hope so. I think there must have also been moments when Go Young was clearly Young-su-like. And I also wonder whether Young-su will date another Young-su at some point.

You’re saying it’s a universal thing that can happen to people who are in love?

I think everyone inevitably has their Go Young moments as well as their Young-su moments. If that’s the case, wouldn’t Young-su also one day become Go Young-like?

How did you end up working on this drama?

I previously worked with director Hur Jin-ho on the show Lost (2021). We don’t keep in touch, but he suddenly contacted me and gave me the script. First of all, the fact that he called me himself was a big reason, and secondly, I was waiting for a drama like this. When I saw the script I knew I really wanted to do it. At the time, it was hard to see Young-su’s bad side. I just really wanted to do it, and thought I could play Young-su well, so I appealed really hard to the PD and ended up joining the cast.

What was the hardest part about playing Young-su?

In the novel he’s 38, and in the show he’s 35. That’s a little older than I am. Young-su was part of a student activist group at a prestigious university, but my generation doesn’t have that experience, so I had to do a lot of research. I’ve never met the author, but there was something about this character that was so hard to understand that I really wanted to meet him.

What part was the hardest to understand?

Why did he go back on his decision like that? What’s wrong with him? I wanted to find the author and ask him, but because I never got the chance, I just thought a lot about it and tried to figure out the reason. It must have been because he couldn’t accept himself. So no matter how unlikable Young-su is, I still feel sympathy for him. Dating Go Young was the most cowardly thing he did, and I think it was also the most painful for himself.

How was your chemistry with Yoon-su?

There wasn’t a lot of time before we started filming, but we did spend two weeks preparing for it. We became really close during that time. I’d never done such deep table reading on a drama before.

Go Young bragged that he came onto Young-su first.

He came onto Young-su? Wasn’t it more like fifty-fifty? Young-su already liked Go Young subconsciously. And wasn’t he like that because Go Young also reciprocated? Among ourselves, we described Young-su as “a man who is only nice at home.” Wouldn’t he have always made this choice?

Did you film at Olympic Park, where a certain incident between Go Young and Young-su took place?

We did. That was the first thing we filmed. It wasn’t easy. We’d just met and had to film a scene where I got mad at Go Young. And that evening there was another important scene to film as well.

Is there a neighborhood that represents Seoul to you?

We have the most fun during our college years, right? I graduated from Sejong University, so the entrance of Konkuk University and Hwayang-dong feel like Seoul to me.

What are you really like in a relationship?

When I was young, love was really romantic. Back then, I didn’t know myself, and aside from the other person I didn’t look at or date anyone else. Now that I’m older, I think it’s okay not to date. That’s the reality.

What was it like working with director Hur Jin-ho on Young-su’s episodes?

He likes suddenly coming up with ideas. He’ll abruptly remove or add new dialogue, or introduce scenes that weren’t originally in the script. You know that really long street in Itaewon? He suddenly wanted Go Young and Young-su to run down that street, even though there were so many people around. But he kept the camera hidden and filmed me and Yoon-su running down the street while screaming. A few people recognized me and called out my name. (laughs) There were no restraints, he just thought about filming realistically. I guess I was truly filming Love in the Big City!

Wrapping up that kind of shoot in a month, was it a bummer?

A total bummer. It’s like, I was so wrapped up in this character and suddenly it was over. This drama was my first one with such intense melodrama, and my first kiss scene...

You did all of that with Yoon-su.

Yoon-su took really good care of me. He quietly brought me mouthwash and said, “Hyung, use this.” That’s how he is with me. If we meet for dinner after he has a kiss scene during the day, he’ll tell me, “Hyung, I kissed so-and-so before coming here.” For some reason, I would feel weirdly jealous. It’s ridiculous. (laughs)

Haha, sounds like you got really immersed in the role.

When I was trying to get truly immersed during filming, I only saw Nam Yoon-su. I really researched only Nam Yoon-su, I looked up what kind of person Nam Yoon-su was, I only thought about Nam Yoon-su, to the point where he would appear in my dreams. Seriously, I was also shocked. I was that desperate to play this role well.

You became a Nam Yoon-su expert for a while. Did you get to know him that well?

I mean, I don’t know everything. That guy is really similar to Go Young! He went months without responding to my KakaoTalk messages.

He was really worried before. The three of you were sitting there after meeting each other for the first time, and he said it was awkward.

It’s true. Everyone here only looks for Yoon-su. So I’ll look for him a little less.

There might be someone out there who suits you better than Yoon-su.

I guess I haven’t totally escaped yet. There’s no one else but Yoon-su. (laughs)

JIN HO-EUN

How did you get involved with Love in the Big City?

I wanted to be in a queer drama. I heard this was being made, and as you know, the original novel was really well-loved. They said that four directors would be filming it, so I auditioned. I was really greedy for the role of Gyu-ho. I kept reading the novel while preparing for the audition, but I didn’t know if it would turn out well.

So you got both the project and the role that you wanted.

I filmed a video for the first round of auditions, and I’ve been saying I wanted to play Gyu-ho since then. But director Hong Ji-young really liked that. At the time, I didn’t know which part or which director would suit me, and all four of them were at the audition, as well as Park Sang-young.

Gyu-ho is an important character. He appears a lot in the novel, and on the poster, the “I don’t care, because it’s you” tagline also comes from him.

I was really glad to get this role. He has a huge presence in the story, and because of that I wanted to do a good job. I also really liked director Hong Ji-young’s previous work. I watched all of her movies and also bought the novel to read.

What did you like so much about Gyu-ho?

He’s someone who always moves forward without wavering. He and Go Young are similar in some ways, and different in others, so they are able to see each other deeply.

According to the book description, Gyu-ho looks a bit mean, but he’s actually a sincere person.

I was the least confident about his appearance, so I asked Park Sang-young about it a lot before we filmed. Not only about his physical appearance, but also his inner self—should he closely resemble the Gyu-ho from the book or should he be different? The author wanted me to do it my own way. The first time I met him, we were waiting for another meeting to finish and spent a very awkward hour together in a room. But I asked him a lot of questions and we got closer.

What was it like working with director Hong Ji-young on Gyu-ho’s episodes?

She’s really lovely. She’s really detailed, and for every little thing she tries to maintain the author’s style while also boldly including her own touches. So while Go Young and Gyu-ho’s story is a poignant melodrama, at the same time it’s also very charming. Their story felt like a youth drama to me.

Go Young and Gyu-ho had the most romantic relationship in the story. In the end, isn’t Gyu-ho the one man Young can’t forget?

I think so. The script is really sad. I felt sad the day we shot the scene in the poster. Although a lot of time has passed, I still tear up when I look at the script or any related videos.

You haven’t gotten over it yet?

It’s not that, but the memories still remain. Maybe because we spent almost three months together? I appear in seven or eight episodes.

It must have been a bummer when it ended. How was your chemistry with Yoon-su?

I was really sad when filming ended. I was glad that Nam-su hyung had the role of Go Young. Although we had to make some adjustments during filming, we were a good fit from the start. When he was filming the first four episodes, it reflected what he felt. Hyung really took care of me.

Today the men who loved Go Young have gathered, but I believe this isn’t everyone? From what I heard, Yoon-su kissed a lot of people.

That’s right. Who did he say was the best? Did you not talk about that? He told me he kissed around 15 people, and I was impressed all over again. Not 15 kisses with one person in a single drama, but one kiss with 15 people...

So that’s why they call him “Devil Go Young.” He said that he was the one who seduced Nam-gyu, Young-su, and Gyu-ho.

He said that? But Gyu-ho absolutely isn’t someone who falls for that kind of thing. (laughs) Gyu-ho liked Go Young. He must have been satisfied with that.

Park Sang-young said Gyu-ho was “a pure person who can’t help but fall in love.” Honestly, isn’t Gyu-ho someone who can have a good relationship, even if it’s not with Go Young?

Yeah, that’s Gyu-ho’s appeal. Still, he’ll get hurt again, grow, and heal the other person. I think he can emit a certain kind of influence over everyone he chooses to be with; he had a good influence on Go Young when they were dating, and it’ll be the same when he dates someone else.

So he’s not worried about the future. How do you think Gyu-ho will do?

I also think about Gyu-ho’s future. From his actions in episodes 7 and 8, I realized he’s a constructive and practical person. That’s so like Gyu-ho.

Did Gyu-ho want Young to hold onto him?

I think it was fifty-fifty for Gyu-ho. I think it was more that Young wanted Gyu-ho to hold onto him. That made it even sadder because Gyu-ho really understood where Go Young was coming from. That’s how I approached it while filming.

What are you really like in a relationship?

I try to do my best all the time. Actually I’m not really sure, but Gyu-ho made me think that way. (laughs)

What was the most difficult part of playing Gyu-ho?

The line “I don’t care, because it’s you” was really hard. That line is from the novel, right? But having to deliver it on camera was a challenge. Also, “You don’t care if it’s not me?” I wanted to do a good job, so I discussed different versions with the director and we filmed a lot of takes. Please check it out when the drama comes out.

What kind of drama will Love in the Big City be?

I think this is a much-needed drama for our generation. It’s a story that showcases different perspectives, so even if it doesn’t happen immediately, I think people will continue to talk about it. When the casting news came out, I received a lot of supportive DMs. They said the world needs this type of show, and also thanked me. Of course, I also got a lot of jeering or disgusted emojis. Yoon-su hyung received a lot more of those, honestly.

How will you remember this drama?

I hope this drama becomes a representative work for my 20s. I filmed it when I was 25, at the crossroads of my mid-20s, and I think we told a really good story together. Can you watch it the day it premieres? I want to achieve the top ranking on Tving. I hope a lot of people watch it. Truly, seriously, please watch it.

#love in the big city #대도시의 사랑법 #nam yoon su #남윤수 #kwon hyuk #권혁 #na hyun woo #나현우 #jin ho eun #진호은 #park sang young #my translation #echoing our gyuho #please watch this show #the photos are really nice but i can't be bothered to format them into this lol #they've been posted elsewhere #allure korea

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venussaidso · 1 year ago

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Rahu Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 1 of) 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟕

warning ⚠️: movie spoilers

Lord Rudra is an angry manifestation of Shiva who is the god that destroys the universe in order to re-create it. Rudra is the version which emphasizes the destruction of illusions, imperfections, diseases etc. before change can take place. Rudra means "one who eradicates problems from their roots", which rules Ardra, where we see the shadow planet Rahu being at it's potent height. Rahu is always dissatisfied and filled with illusions. With Rudra here, we see the strong conviction to break all things illusory, that are a stain or disease. Ardra, being Gemini and Rahu together, chooses to face the cold, harsh truth by deconstructing it (Mercury). There comes an intense anger and urge to destroy the root of all problems.

The best piece of media by far to embody the potency of Ardra, especially Rudra, is MR. ROBOT.

Ardra is quite contradictory, as it aims to expose truth by ruthlessly shining light on it ("control is an illusion") and therefore breaking the illusion, despite literally being ruled by the most illusory planet, Rahu. Rami Malek is an Ardra Ascendent and in the series Mr. Robot, he plays a cybersecurity engineer who uses his rare intelligence (Gemini/Mercury) to take down an evil conglomerate that controls the world & gets away with terrible world crimes that are swept under the rug. The Ardra character is already established as not a truth seeker, but someone who is already aware of everything and has been long disillusioned. The other important main characters also seem to be played by Rudra influenced actors which I found so incredible. These key characters show different dysfunctional aspects of society, almost critiquing them. Though Rudra is more potent through Ardra, Rudra has incarnated in different forms. Aja Ekapanda, Ahir Bhudhanya - Purva Bhadrapada, Uttara Bhadrapada. And Goddess Kali has associations with Rudra, and it rules the nakshatra Mula - which forms the axis with Ardra (being Sagittarius-Gemini). All the Rudra nakshatras are scattered across the main cast of Mr. Robot.

Another similar piece of media that is linked with Ardra and anarchist/political themes that expose heavy truths of society and elite powers of the world is the film V FOR VENDETTA, which leans more into anti-fascism. Starring an Ardra native.

Ardra faces the reality of things that is usually harsh and too overwhelming for others to bare, the kind of truth that is often not thought of. The series The Boys shows what would realistically happen if superheroes were a thing — none of that Marvel sugarcoating shit. Just like Rami Malek's character in Mr. Robot, the character Billy Butcher played by Karl Urban is already established as one who knows the harsh reality of superheroes (being monsters and corporate puppets) and is portrayed as an angry, disgruntled, dissatisfied person. And of course there is Rahu/Ardra influence.

Ardra is not always about dethroning corrupt powers. It can simply manifest into meaningless chaos, purposeless anarchy as seen in Heath Ledger's Joker who only makes chaos to prove the hypocrisy in people and society. This critical nature is always within Ardra, no matter how chaotic and senseless it manifests.

Yes he's an Ardra Moon.

It's always interesting how nakshatras with the same planetary rulership can share the same themes, despite the differences in their ruling deities. The film, Joker (2019), criticizes how society treats its ostracized members. And the character Arthur Fleck, being played by Swati Sun Joaquin Phoenix, unintentionally (and unknowingly) drives pure anarchy in the streets. Becoming the face of a movement spawned around him, called 'Jokerism'. And these masks, just like in MR. ROBOT (fsociety), V For VENDETTA, make the symbol of the movement.

I also find it interesting that Zoro is a masked vigilante who fights against the injustice and victimization of the lower class and indigenous people. Shatabhisha can act as a saviour in this case, more than what is seen from Ardra and Swati.

The character Hobie Brown being voiced by Shatabhisha Sun Daniel Kaluuya in the new Spiderverse film. Interesting enough, Shatabhisha being Aquarius can also have chaotic, rebellious and even anarchist tendencies. Aquarius emphasizes individualism, roots for the underdog and can absolutely despise authority – especially the corrupt kind (but mostly it's fuck all authority).

The nakshatra also being co-ruled by Rahu, they can see through illusions and have a simple yet realistic approach to things (Saturn). There is defiance there in Shatabhisha, but rarely ever as erratic or angry as Ardra. In fact, Shatabhisha is more on what's morally right and wrong compared to Ardra where a dualistic nature is conveyed. Shatabhisha has a tougher framework, can be very virtuous.

Shatabhisha is ruled by the deity Lord Varuna who is the personification of divine authority and moral law. The theme of authority can manifest in several ways for Shatabhisha. Rebellion against authority can go to the extreme ends of violence and unlawfulness. Or it can go into activism. Critiquing the many issues in the world that are glaringly wrong and unfair (what the modern internet now calls 'wokeism'). Themes of rebellion or exposure in a political and societal context can be linked with Swati. This can somewhat be seen in the following medias:

𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗘�� 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗧𝗪𝗢:

#ardra #rahu #gemini #uttara bhadrapada #purva bhadrapada #mula #swati #libra #shatabhisha #aquarius #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #vedic observations #sidereal observations #nakshatra series

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kastalani123 · 9 months ago

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(if you prefer Ao3)

Drew Tanaka is mean.

She grows up under a mother that cares more for the cameras that follow them around than her. That cares more for her daughter knowing how to keep her posture straight, her smile saccharine sweet, her hair without a strand out of place, than her knowing how to make friends. That cares more for smoothed out and scrubbed clean photos and videos and interviews that show a perfect life, a perfect mother, a perfect daughter, than for her daughter being an actual child, not an actor with a script for every second of her life.

She grows up desperately clawing for any shred of privacy, having given up on looking for honesty long ago. She learns how to keep her makeup sharp, and her walls sharper. She indulges in cosmetics more than most children her age — it's all about keeping any hint of imperfection hidden, any hint of truth buried deep down. She files her nails into claws, paints her face into a mask no one can look behind. She keeps herself mean, because there's only so much of the same drama the media will pay attention to, only so much unpleasantness the people around her will deal with before giving up on getting close to her, only so much her mother can shape for the spotlight without risking controversy.

And then, she's twelve and at Camp, and it's weird.

The kids in the overcrowded cabin she's placed in (no privacy, no space, nothing she can keep to herself) tease and jest but it's never truly mean. Not in the way she knows. The pranks and jokes are too simple, too corny, too messy to be enjoyable to an audience of strangers. Meals are chaotic at the shared table because people push and shove and steal and laugh, and no one aside from her even thinks to bother with proper etiquette — nobody cares for small bites that don't ruin your makeup, for small portions that look lovely on pictures but don't fill you up, for elbows off the table and the correct cutlery for every food. The only rules are: sacrifice a portion to the gods; don't waste; enjoy.

That's the one they care most about, she finds within a week. Enjoy. Have fun. Live your life.

She's not sure she can do that, as she leans away from campfire songs and pottery, from swordsmanship and archery, from pegasus riding and monster fighting.

Instead, Drew Tanaka is mean.

She paints her lips brighter, grows her nails sharper, shadows her eyes darker. She digs and needles and stabs not with a sword or a dagger or a spear but with her words; she begins to write her script for these unfamiliar scenes, just as she's done her entire life. Her remarks are not the soft teasing of the others; they are her knives poised to strike at anyone who comes too close, more dangerous than ever.

Her voice is her weapon, her meanness her armour.

Literally, she learns within weeks, a command falling from her tongue as a dove comes into being above her head.

Cabin Eleven sends her off with a bracelet of colourful wooden beads and a rubber snake that was meant to be a goodbye jump scare she didn't fall for. She scoffs at both but is not allowed to refuse them, so she takes them and shoves them into the heart-shaped box every Aphrodite child gets upon entering Cabin Ten.

Because Drew Tanaka doesn't wear cheap jewelry made by a collaboration of six- to seventeen-year-olds at arts and crafts. Because Drew Tanaka doesn't find dumb pranks amusing. Because Drew Tanaka doesn't like tacky toys with sloppy paint jobs.

Because Drew Tanaka is mean.

And Silena Beauregard is nice.

She's nice, holding Drew's hand as she properly introduces every member of Cabin Ten — every one of her siblings — to her even though Drew digs her nails into her skin hard enough to leave marks. She's nice, coaxing a young pegasus over to Drew to let her practice flying. She's nice, remembering that Drew doesn't eat much meat other than fish and ensuring she gets it.

Drew is sure Silena is an exception. Camp in general is nice in a way she's only ever experienced in stories, but this goes beyond a casual piece of advice on her fighting stance or an arm lent on the climbing wall.

Except it turns out that, no, not really. Not just Silena, at least.

Cabin Ten is nice.

Anders sits her down in front of himself and braids her hair, tucking dandelions and daisies into it in a way her mother would seethe at. Khalid follows her around with a stuffed seahorse, babbling about the deep sea creatures everyone else is grossed out by. Ina shows her celestial bronze nail polish in any colour imaginable and every other way to hide weaponry in places no one would suspect. Sawyer trifles through their vast collection of homemade perfumes to find one she likes, simple as they are in plain, glass jars. Rory pulls her into dances at the campfire and steps all over her feet, his laughter and singing off-key and unappealing. Jasmin paints all over her skin, from sunsets across her forearms to hearts spread all over her face, disregarding the careful lines of her makeup.

They chip and chip and chip at her walls, with cracked nails and bloody fingers, until they startle her into lifting her mask for a second, allowing them a glimpse at the pieces of herself she has long since buried under ring lights and cameras.

They bind her to themselves with soft hugs and silly singing and simple gossip. They drag her screeching and screaming into their circle, into closeness, into softness. They push her scoffing into spending time around other campers, into sitting with people during arts and crafts, into collecting strawberries in groups.

Drew Tanaka is mean.

Drew Tanaka will never stop being mean.

That is a fact.

Nobody ever claims any different.

However, a fact is also this:

She remembers Silena's allergic to bees and ensures they never get too close. She sits Anders down and teaches him how to get his eyeliner as sharp as hers. She follows Khalid to bed some nights and struggles to read through One Thousand And One Nights because he sleeps better with them. She shows Ina the best products for her skin and hair. She trifles through her vast collection of jewelry to find earrings Sawyer likes. She pulls Rory through Camp to show off their matching outfits. She paints Jasmin's nails with designs according to whatever book or flower has caught her fancy recently.

(She wears a bracelet of wooden beads even when it doesn't match her outfit)

(She keeps a tacky rubber snake on the shelf above her bed)

Most importantly, she stays.

And next summer, Anders brings with him newspaper scraps with her and her mother's faces plastered all over them.

She smiles, sharp as a dagger, and burns them as an offering.

And then she's fourteen.

And then there's war.

And then her siblings are dead.

And then Silena is a traitor.

And then she's the Cabin Counsellor.

And then she's building up her walls faster than what remains of her family can tear down, stronger than they can chip away at, taller than they can look over.

And then Drew Tanaka is not mean.

Drew Tanaka is cruel.

(She forgot the most important rule she had set for herself long ago, when she couldn't take a step without cameras clicking and spotlights moving on her:

Give up on looking for honesty.

She reapplies foundation over her blotchy face and decides to never forget that again)

#pjo #hoo #rick riordan #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjoverse #pjo aphrodite #pjo spoilers #drew tanaka #aphrodite cabin #silena beauregard #silena pjo #Drew deserved better than being a one-dimensional antagonist #and just because she's mean doesn't mean she doesn't care #I made up a backstory for Drew #fanfic

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trans-axolotl · 4 months ago

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Hi - I am planning to move to a large city soon and I desperately want to get involved with community organizing, mutual aid, protests, etc but I have 0 experience beyond attending a few small protests over the years. I've only ever lived in a small suburb and none of the people currently in my life are involved in anything. Do you have any advice for how to get materially involved for someone who doesn't know what that looks like? Is it a matter of networking via attending events, that kind of thing? Apologies if this is a silly question, I'm going to try my best to figure it out on my own but I feel extremely inexperienced and uninformed.

Not a silly question at all! So many times I see people telling other people "go out and get involved" like that's something that's really simple but there can be a lot more steps to making that happen! I'll share some general tips that have worked for me in the cities I've worked with, and other followers feel free to add on with relevant advice in your city.

One thing that was really hard for me when I first moved to a new city is that I didn't know anyone, so it was hard to find out what groups even existed. Because I didn't know anyone, I also didn't have anyone to vouch for me, and there are a lot of groups that (understandably) need people to vouch for you because of police infiltrators and other bad actors.

I think my biggest advice is to try to find a group with open membership, even if it isn't the thing you're the most passionate about, and start showing up regularly in order to get connected with other people. In my area, the groups that are most easy to get involved with are mutual aid groups and outreach groups. Particularly, if Food Not Bombs has a chapter in your area, in my experience they've been a lot easier to get involved with than some other groups. A lot of harm reduction groups in my area have things like supply kit packing nights, which are SUCH a great way for new people to get involved and meet people without having to make a huge commitment. Keeping an eye out for one time events like that, or other events like teach-ins about specific topics, can be a great way to get your foot in the door and start meeting more people who can connect you with organizing in the city. You can also go and access the services from a mutual aid group or Food Not Bombs group if those are relevant for you! A lot of groups will have days they do outreach that they'll post on social media, or other ways to get in contact. A lot of the ways I've gotten involved in harm reduction organizing is because I'll go to syringe exchange drop-in hours to get needles for myself, and then ask the people working how I can volunteer with them. From there, you might be able to get connected with groups that might have more intensive onboarding processes.

I also think it's really helpful to start showing up to protests and trying to get familiar with what groups are active in your city, but I think that's a hard way to meet new people, since a lot of people understandably have a lot of additional security concerns at protests and might not want to give out their name or contact info in that environment. But it can be a great way to get more familiar with the patterns of action in your new city and figure out what orgs to trust and what orgs to avoid. And once you're more involved in other orgs, it can be easier to find a crew of people to go to protests with.

In order to find out what all these groups are and when protests are happening, I usually go to instagram and start trying to follow as many organizations as I can. I usually start by searching for groups that I think I know are going to exist, like food not bombs, the local chapter of Black Lives Matter, local chapter of Palestinian Youth Movement, and then start looking for city specific mutual aid orgs, harm reduction orgs, sex work advocacy orgs, books to prisons or letters to prisons project, mask blocs, street medic collectives, anarchist and prison abolitionist collectives, tenants unions, sexual violence advocacy orgs, disability orgs, LGBTQ orgs, etc.And then, I go into the followers tab for each of these orgs and find out what organizations they're following--that has really, really helped me start to be able to map who's active, who knows who, and usually at least some of those orgs will be active on Instagram and publicizing events, protests, outreach, donation drives, etc. Also, if there's a leftist bookstore or infoshop in your city, they might have a pretty good calendar of events and be a good way to get looped in. (most of the cities I've lived in haven't had that though lmfao).

I think my biggest advice is to not get discouraged if it takes some research to find groups with open memberships or if there are groups that you're interested in but can't join right away. I'd also say it's definitely helpful to think through what your interests are and what your skills are. Are you particularly passionate about a certain cause? Do you enjoy cooking and want to help prepare food for mutual aid? Do you like doing social media graphics? What resources do you have that you can bring to groups--access to craft supplies, free printing, a space to host events, medic skills, good at building things, etc? There's so many different types of groups to get involved in that are doing direct organizing work for so many different specific causes, and I'm sure you could bring a lot to whatever group you're passionate about.

One random thing that I do want to mention is that a lot of times when I see people answering this question, the advice they give is to get involved in orgs like DSA, PSL (Party for socialism and liberation/ANSWER coalition), or other branches of national orgs like that. I disagree with that advice and I don't actually think it's the most helpful way to meet people or get involved. Although I think DSA is better than PSL, I have my own political issues with DSA and REALLY really do not trust PSL at all because I think that PSL is a really bad actor who actively endangers people in every city I've organized where they're in. (Here's links to articles that describe some of the issues--trigger warning for sexual violence. Article 1. Article 2. I can go more in depth into my personal experiences in another post if needed) But beyond that, I don't always think that's the most helpful way to get looped into other things happening in your city or direct mutual aid or direct action work--I think groups like DSA and PSL often have a lot of other priorities like intra party dynamics, electoral politics, etc, and that other things like protesting or mutual aid work is often a secondary priority for those groups. The only reason I wanted to mention this is because I think that these groups do a lot of recruiting, and that oftentimes these groups are the most visible organizations with open membership for new people in a city to find. PSL in particular does a lot of predatory recruiting, in my experience. And I've had a lot of friends who originally joined groups like these to try to get connected and involved and ended up just sort of sucked into a lot of unrelated drama, so I just wanted to briefly mention that!

Overall, I think the biggest things that have helped me get really involved is just consistently showing up places and also doing research when I first move to a city. Once I was able to meet more people, I was able to get looped into more types of organizing, including more secure or involved organizing that I wasn't able to join when I first got to a new city.

I hope that helped, and please feel free to reach out with any other questions! If any other followers have tips, please add on!

#asks #activism #protests #mutual aid #harm reduction #idk i hope this helps!#also to be clear: im an anarchist and prison abolitionist. i only organize in groups that share abolitionist values as a bare minimum #so that shapes the context i'm organizing in and the type of expeirences i have #i am fine situaionality organizing in coalitions with DSA if that specific chapter has passed an anti-zionist resolution. but i wouldn't #have that be my main home for organizing #national dsa also hasn't yet passed an anti-zionist resolution which is one of my big big issues with DSA

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