#actor au is the only thing keeping me sane

[gold0venice]

Vivinos/Alien Stage:

- Sua haunting the narrative

- Mizi not healed from her death

- Omg it’s Hyuna she is so cool and badass (I genuinely love her so much don’t mind me)

- Ivantill kiss but at the cost of our sanity

- Sua slapping Ivan in the head and calling him a hypocrite

Alien Stage fans: *sobbing in fics and fan art*

[skygremlin]

DW it's just ketchup (is currently living on copium)

Me: I need to draw them to cope

Also me: redraws Ivan getting shot

Me @ me: .... This isn't what I was talking about

[nartothelar]

I just had a thought while thinking about your possession au.

So I know you posted some joke art about Ingo confronting a Zoroark acting as his (possessed) brother, but what if the Zoroark WAS trying this time.

So imagine ; Ingo with maybe Lady Sneasler and Irida walking through the Alabaster Icelands, and they get confronted with a Zoroark. It takes Emmet's form and starts terrorizing Ingo, taunting him with "You'd never hurt me!" and everything F!Emmet said before.

And Irida watches as Ingo, her cool and collected if a tad lost warden just... shrink back in fear.

Now just about any sane person would be afraid of a Zoroark, but she can tell that this is MUCH more than just that. This is *personal*. He normally never hesitates fighting Zoroarks when they take the forms of others, but this time he is terrified of hurting the man behind the illusion, and of the man himself.

Judging from everything the illusion of Emmet is shouting (even illusions and how they behave have *some* truth to them), and the way Ingo is terrified, she deduces that maybe the place or family Ingo originally came from wasn't ideal, to say the least. Ingo frantically telling Irida that he loves his supposed abuser only reaffirms her concerns.

Eventually, this becomes somewhat of an open secret among both clans that Ingo's 'man in white' is, to say the least, not good. And how is Ingo supposed to dispute that? He loves this person, and he vaguely feels protective of him, but he also feels afraid whenever he think of him.

Cue Emmet somehow getting into Hisui.

For some extra angst, he took care of his F!Emmet situation, somehow. (Maybe when they both went to Dialga to go to Hisui, he went 'wait a moment, you're not supposed to be there' and separated them)

Naturally, when Irida finds out that the man in white is actually here, she panics. Everyone tries to a. Keep Emmet from finding out Ingo is even here (which doesn't work, he came here KNOWING Ingo is here so he can tell everyones lying to him), b. Know Emmet's location at all times, so that c. They can steer Ingo in the opposite direction of where Emmet is, for his own safety until they can either get Emmet to go back to where he came from, or do some (incredibly biased) investigation.

Cause Sinnoh help them if Emmet IS actually as bad as they suspect, cause if he is even half as good as Ingo, then the amount of people who could potentially stop him can he counted on one hand.

Sure, he SEEMS nice if a tad intense, worrying about his brother, but who's to say he's not just a good actor?

I dunno, maybe the climax is Emmet finding Ingo but the Ingo protection squad (consisting of Irida, Sneasler, etc.) is keeping him back and throwing the not completely baseless accusations at Emmet, him saying "hey I was possessed by a future alternate version of myself, but hes gone now I swear" ("well that's awfully convenient"), and Ingo has NO IDEA what do to (cause he said that once, didn't he? He said that the thing was gone, but then it wasn't, so he has no idea if he can fully trust him or not).

OR, F!Emmet arrives still in Emmet's body and just starts tearing through everything to find Ingo. He's an unstoppable force that will not stop until he finds his brother. And he is nearly everything that Zoroark showed Irida. They are desperately trying to keep Ingo away from him, to no avail.

What're your thoughts on this? Do with all this what you want, and thanks for reading my rant.

OK SO THIS WOULDN'T BE CANON PER SAY (more like an offshoot au?) BUT SOME INTROSPECTION ->

so i might have explored this very idea in a couple of discord dms! but for the most part, yes, ingo would be very much scared of the man in white/the zoroark since his last days with emmet were very much tainted with future emmet's influence, but i wouldn't say f!emmet went so far as to abuse him - emotionally torment for sure tho. still, ingo would very much react, even with amnesia, with a sense of fear and apprehension to seeing him. mixed and very confusing feelings

when emmet does finally get to ingo in hisui in the actual au, him and his future self has actually teamed up (as the last installation suggests). that isn't to say emmet is angry at his future self (bc he is FURIOUS even now at how his future self treated ingo and made the last few weeks he had with his sibling so miserable for everyone) but they have a sort of ceasefire since they want the same thing rn

but similar to your ask, ingo doesn't react positively. he still doesn't remember much but he knows that: 1) he knows this figure and that he is someone important to him 2) does not want any harm to come to him 3) he, for the life of him, is scared of him. the clan is rightfully ultra suspicious of them and maybe puts him on watch (and maybe subjecting him to various interrogative talks to get him to explain everything) that the emmets accept without much fight -> f!emmet feeling extremely guilty for what he has done and believes he deserves the treatment/deserves to not be forgiven + emmet knows that the clan is protecting his brother and can't fault them for handling the way they do

f!emmet and emmet both have a lot of work to do if they want things to go back to the way they were, if they even can

BUT YEAH VERRRRRRRY LONG RAMBLE BUT VERRRY INTERESTING NONETHELESS SKSKK

[moonpetrichors-blog]

the only thing keeping me sane rn over the last aot ep is the actor au.

THEY ARE ALIVE AND HAPPY IDC. IT WAS ALL STAGED.

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

SangYao Horror(Ish) Ideas, Part One

When Meng Yao goes to Koi Tower for the first time, it's discovered (to his surprise) that he's part monster. A disgusted Jin Guangshan decides that banishment is too nice a punishment, but execution might lead to people discovering the boy was his. 

Not wanting Meng Yao anywhere near Koi Tower, he has Meng Yao dragged off to some falling-apart mansion of a disgraced magistrate near the border and sealed in, then offers a bounty to anyone who can kill the monster "haunting" the house. Many try, but Meng Yao, having realized his own father is sending assassins after him, taps into his monster-y powers in a desperate bid for survival and kills any comers.

Eventually, he's forgotten about by everyone except his father, who despises the fact that he's not dead yet.

Years later, Nie Huaisang is caught in a wild thunderstorm that blew in as he was escaping from a kidnapping party of Wens. Terrified, exhausted, wounded, and now soaked, he ducks into the first empty house he comes across, passing out almost the moment he falls across the threshold.

The pursuing Wens, realizing where they are, see this as a bonus opportunity. Not only can they recapture the Nie heir, they can force Jin-zongzhu to owe them for getting rid of his little problem.

One strides forward and grabs the unconscious Nie Huaisang by the hair, but then there's a growl out of the shadows

----------

Grimm's fairytale-style au where Nie Mingjue is poisoned and stolen away by Wen Ruohan and Nie Huaisang comes across a fox named Meng Yao who can get him back, but only piece by piece. 

And because magic must be equal to magic, Nie Huaisang has to give up bits of himself in return. 

He cuts off his hair to make silk for trade. 

One by one he breathes his talent for art, his love of birds, his cheer, and his cleverness into pearls. 

He gives up the color of his eyes (and some of his vision) to be made into paint.

When he finally has Nie Mingjue back, stitched together and healthy, he is hardly recognizable as himself anymore. 

Worse, there is still one thing missing, Nie Mingjue's memory. 

Unable to prove they are brothers, Nie Huaisang goes back to Meng Yao and begs for help one more time, but despairs that he has nothing left to trade. 

Meng Yao points out that's not true: if he agrees to be a fox's bride, that will be enough for one last magical theft. Though unsure of what he's getting himself into, Nie Huaisang agrees. 

When Meng Yao wraps him in a robe made from the silk he traded, pins his hair up with combs decorated in the pearls, and paints his face for the ceremony, Nie Huaisang finds himself restored to his old self.

Both brothers are now whole and Nie Mingjue is free and back in his realm, but of course there is one more catch. 

A human claimed by a magical animal must remain in the den during the winter months, as they will grow too cold and die without being close to that magic. In the harsh climate of the mountains, with the wedding taking place just before the first snow, Nie Huaisang has to wait an entire half a year before being able to see whether or not Meng Yao upheld his end.

(Fortunately for all involved, he did. Who would risk cheating such a devoted bride?)

----------

Meng Yao initially planning to pull a kill and replace on Nie Huaisang because he wants the other boy's better life, but eventually deciding to lock him away instead. He insists it's necessary so that he can keep refining his imitation, but really he just wants to keep a pretty bird for himself.

----------

Thinking about the relationships between old school horror actors and like, sangyao where they've been trading off hero and villain roles opposite each other for a decade and they hate each other outside roles but they have fucking amazing on-screen chemistry and then one day in makeup, Xue Yang is finally like "God, just fuck him already! You're making me look sane, you want it so bad!" 

And Meng Yao is so offended by the idea but shit, now it's stuck in his head and won't go away. They have to do a vampire scene next! He has to bite Huaisang with that thought in his brain!

The tension ramps up! The audiences love them, the producers love them, the directors are encouraging it and Meng Yao is pretty sure he's losing his mind. 

Even more maddening, Nie Huaisang either can't tell or is damn good at pretending not to notice and Meng Yao can't figure out which is worse. Either way it comes to a head at a swanky party. Nie Huaisang starts on their usual snippy back and forth, and Meng Yao just kinda snaps a little and drags him off for what everyone thinks is gonna be the catfight of the year.

It's not.

At least not in the way they’re thinking. 

----------

Urban magic AU where the Nies have to keep Huaisang hidden because he was born with Level III regenerative magic and if word gets out there are a whole lot of vampire clans (like the Wens) or other cannibal types that would do anything to get their hands on him as a food source. 

Meng Yao is a daywalker via his mother, a distant Wen cousin who fled from the family, but he has no idea because she was always extremely careful about what she gave him to eat. So when his hunger gets forcibly awakened, he understandably reacts with blind panic.

He has no idea how he ended up in this weird hospital-like building, but when someone attempts to grab him, he reacts with newly-grown fangs.

When the terror and hunger subsides, he finds himself a bloody mess with an equally-bloody and dazed young man in his lap and several guns aimed at his head.

His captors don't believe that he arrived by mistake, especially not when he went for their most closely-guarded asset. But his victim, who apparently healed up just fine in seconds, vouches for how shattered his mental state was when he showed up.

It's ultimately decided he won't be killed. But he can't be allowed to just waltz out, either. Since Huaisang seems to have taken an odd shine to him despite being attacked, it's decided he'll be the young man's new personal caretaker.

They'll put him back on the diet his mother had used, but having been awakened, he'll have to have blood at least every few days.

It gives him a weird little feeling of mixed pleasure and endearment when Huaisang volunteers to be his regular meal. 

[augment-techs]

For the character thing, and I’m sending like five of these with a few characters in each so XD

Trip

Vida

Ziggy

Oh~ I can live with that, guy.

favorite thing about them: Is an adorable ball of sunshine that provides the much needed fluff and nonsense that brings people on his team, and around him, up.

least favorite thing about them: That we never get any real background on him other than he is an alien, he is an empath with a little ability to see forward, his bestfriend is a robot owl. COME ON.

favorite line: “He’s not mean; he’s lonely.”

brOTP: I’m weirdly drawn to the idea of him being the little brother Wes never had. Especially because of that cowboy incident.

OTP: I suppose I should say Trip/Katie, but because of one very nice read on AO3, I am also enamored to Trip/Eric.

nOTP: If someone puts him and Lucas in a romantic scenario I am OUT.

random headcanon: Is probably the oldest person on his team, if not all of Time Force, because comic references to his planet from Trek implies his people live a long-ass time.

unpopular opinion: Him leaving Nadira with a pregnant woman, ALONE, was bullshit.

song i associate with them: Blinding Lights cover

favorite thing about them: Will throw down with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

least favorite thing about them: Nothing springs immediately to mind, though her early days as a Ranger were a little wince worthy.

favorite line: “You know I’d never hurt you.”

brOTP: Her and Nick, because they are both weirdly powerhouse material.

OTP: Vida/Chip/Xander.

nOTP: Incest shippers DNI. Also whoever thought it was an idea to write that one Daggeron fic with her; gross.

random headcanon: If she had gone full vampire, Leelee would have helped turned her back because she would have been the most insufferable thing in the Underworld.

unpopular opinion: I don’t really get a lesbian vibe off of her?

song i associate with them: A Neverending Dream, by Cascada

favorite thing about them: He is both a baby and ex-mafia and oftentimes the only thing keeping Dillon sane and human and SOFT. Also he’s good for Dr. K, I guess.

least favorite thing about them: NOTHING.

favorite line: “You talk too much.”

brOTP: Him and Summer are lovely together and you cannot change my mind that he has let her paint his nails on multiple occasions.

OTP: Dillon/Ziggy. I am basic, they are gay. (Also Ziggy/Spike in that AU, you know the one; the chaos and LOVE.)

nOTP: I’m sorry, I know their actors got married, but somehow the idea of Ziggy and Dr. K as anything more than friends or siblings makes me gag.

random headcanon: He can sew and crochet and is constantly making stuff for the orphanage he came from.

unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is popular or unpopular, but while I’ve seen an awful lot of Trans!Ziggy out there, for some reason the idea of him being intersex feels more...more, because of the hellscape they live in. (Also I started reading up on RPM after seeing that tumblr post about the intersex caterpillar called Chicken Nugget and it just...stuck.)

song i associate with them: Bad Reputation.

[akiraarabella]

Actor AU is the only thing keeping me sane rn. Also EROS DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT?! BRO HXHDHDHBWJSBSJZNSBNZNS

OHHHH THEY ALL DIED WITH SMILES CHAT WE’RE COOKEDDDDD IM INCONSOLABLE

[jasscheeks]

actor aus of angst filled animes are the only things keeping me sane

[ne0nlightzz]

Yo! this is basically any and all info for my page and writing /story requests!! [Fandoms,"Rules",DNI,ETC]

since that's why i started a tumbler acc, because the writing community on here is actually seeming pretty large and you can never try to put yourself out there on to many platforms with a writing aspect,right?...

well actually you can and that's why i wasn't even aware that i had a qoutev account for nearly a year when i went to go make a new one and was logged into that one on my laptop but ykyk.

•ACC RULES•

Basic acc rule- all of my soicals are LGBTQ+,OSDD/DID,SFW Agere/Petre,Furry and neurodiverse friendly but if you're homophobic or toxic i most likely won't hesitate to block your ass!:]

STORY REQUEST RULES

I WILL NOT WRITE-

Pedophilia

anything sexual with a kid-

ITS A CHILD WHY DO YOU WANT THAT IF ITS BELLOW 18 AND NOT HOW OLD YOU ARE AND YOU ARE YOUNGER THEN LIKE 14-15 GET SOME HELP MATE ITS A ISSUE-

Overly toxic relationships- like if that's the whole story im uncomfy writing that because its just- its not my best to write i guess-

I WILL WRITE

[its not actually that may rules,i just over elaborate and it makes the list seem long-]

Just about any relation ship[BxB/MxM,GxG/WxW,Poly,romantic,platonic]

I do write xReader stories [for the fandoms listed below] but at the moment i will only write Male-Reader, FTM-Reader or Gender neutral-Reader because there's just not enough of those and because that's what I'm comfortable with as I'm still newer to writing xreader/self inserts and stuff

I can write 'smut' but ive never actually tried because haft way through im just kinda have a whole "wtf did i just write and what will my friends think of me if they find this" moment but please request that with whatever you want but keep in mind i won't write sexual shit for children or family- im trying to stay sane here and am a minor, man, sorry.

platonic or romantic relationships

angst[god im getting go at writing angst- its weird],fluff,those (sorta weird n random) sexual but not scenes-

G0re- [i want to try writing g0re so bad ngl- because how dose one write g0re and make it good?-/injury ig

Okay lets be honest ill write just about anything but

ill try to write GxG but I will not be writing xfem reader at the moment,I'm personally uncomfy doing so because it makes me dysphoria horrible

anything outside the fandoms i have listed for requests [if its not there ask bc i might make acceptions]

weird ped0 and sexual minor/child shit[once again its a childddd ill write you a cute lil fluff sibling or parent figure thing but not anything that's illegal n gross<3]

if its a aged up AU ill think about it but won't 100% write it,ill really have to think about it

i just want to experiment with writing different things and learn different writing techniques so i can maybe find what exactly i enjoy writing the most and i feel like this would be a good way-

•FANDOMS•

Fandoms i will write for!

Supernatural

The Black Phone

The Lost Boys [yk that old vampire movie? love it-]

Creepypasta

Marble hornets

IT [all of them- also the bowers gang- I'll write for them 100%-]

FNAF/Afton's [yeah that can go downhill VERY FAST]

The owl house/Gravity Falls [yes, I'm aware imma nerd but give me a break- there good shows]

Ninjago[ill only write for season 1-3 atm because im re-watching it after god knows how long and can only remember those seasons atm]

Sander sides [does this even have an active fandom anymore?]

Marvel/Spider man [Mainly Iron man or Spiderman because they are like my comfort characters- i also write for both the Tom Holland and Andrew Garfield Spiderman !!Not the actors but the character!!][spider man is now my gender-this is a joke,please don't attack me-]

those are my main fandoms that i will 1000% write for and below are some that I'm a bit iffy about writing for[like I'm not iffy about possible writing about a demonic triangle]

OHSHC[once again, is there even a fandom for this anymore?-]

TBHK

idfk- im not rly a anime person anymore and can't think of anymore fandoms that im still semi-apart of-

DNI

Basic criteria[Anti-LGBTQ+, Abelist, Racist, Sexist, ETC]

Ped0/MAPS/Zoophile

Fake-claimers [yk who u are]

Anti-Agere/Petre[i get it if you don't rly vibe w/ it but don't go bashing a coping mech man- it's not a kink or smt, just a way to cope and usually involuntary-]

Under the age of 13

Proshippers/Fujioshi/Girls who fetishize bxb n all

MASTER LISTS/MORE

My writing socials masterlist [you can find all my bigger works there]

Fandom masterlist

About me

My general socials masterlist [my other socials like Spachey and others]

EXTRA INFO

I'm dyslexic and that's sorta self-explanatory and explains any grammar/spelling errors in my work. While i do try to edit and catch all mistakes and errors sometimes they slip past me and don't get corrected, there for my work sometimes has a few minor errors but nothing that should actually affect the quality of my work a ton.

I[rarely]use slurs i can reclaim and will only use ones i can reclaim in my work[and that the character can reclaim- unless for drama purposes-] but I WILL NOT USE SLURS I CAN NOT RECLAIM!

I do work on my own individual story's aside from fandom shorts/oneshots so i don't always work on fanfics and sometimes have to take time for those stories!

To quickly address smt I've had issues with

While yes, I do fully support the agere/petre community's I'm not actually a involved part of them anymore due to personal issues and no longer finding it a safe place personally, I rarely regress and slip into headspace and only am a caregiver to one long distance little who is a close friend.

And while yes, I am open to writing 'nsfw content' that's not what I'm about, while yes I'll do it, I will never write anything not sfw for the agere community and want this to be a place for all kinds of people and stories. I want to write agere stuff but also don't want to have to keep my blog 1000% sfw because I write a few comfort n age/petre stories- but I also don't want to make my blog 100% nsfw because I rarely write that and part of why I do is being I'm hypersexual due to past personal stuff.

How many times did i say "while yes," in this? -

Yes.

PLEASE REQUEST- I LOVE GETTING WRITING REQS SO MUCH!!

[katelfiredemon]

Voltron Theatre au Headcannons

Keith:

Techie

Specifically lighting and sound

But he helps with building the sets too

He’s actually an amazing singer but refuses to go on stage

Lance at first saw Keith as a rival for the main role when he heard him sing, but soon came to his senses when he realized Keith didn’t want the role

Now Lance begs him to sing duets with him which he refuses to do until they have a ✨bonding moment✨

He also refuses to do any kind of stage managing

Is the techie that always has at least 3 pocket knives on their person at all times and about 7 more in their backpack (trust me, there’s always a techie like this)

Gets annoyed with all the actors’ drama and doesn’t see the point (Lance tries to explain the drama to him but gives up when Keith gives him a blank stare)

Does fencing and therefore sometimes helps choreograph the fight scenes

Keith.exe stops working whenever he sees Lance stretching before practice

Nobody has ever been able to him in spike tape tag and Lance takes this as a challenge (but he also isn’t very subtle when trying to put the tape on others and always gets caught)

Lance is the only one who can distract Keith and get him to goof off when something needs to get done, otherwise he gets everything done really fast

Lance:

Acts and sings

Used to always just be put in the chorus but works really hard and eventually gets the lead role

Makes sure to do proper stretches and voice warmups before everything

Also helps with tech crew stuff on the side

The kid that learns everyone’s names, both the actors and techies and is supper supportive of everyone

Practices his lines and the dance numbers way more than he needs to and the practice shows in how naturally he seems to do everything

When helping organize props and costumes him, Hunk, and Pidge all mess around and try everything on

Tries on every single ball gown and looks absolutely ravishing (This is something high school tech guys do. Also with the corsets)

Will whack anyone and everyone anytime he’s holding a fake sword

Knows all the gossip and drama going around the department and is the person to go to for the tea

Is the master of spike tape tag. Always knows when someone is trying to put a piece on him and can make whole pictures out of tape on someone’s back before they finally notice (expect for Keith. He swears he’ll get him someday though that is yet to happen)

Pidge:

Techie

Has a good knowledge base in all the tech areas and is the person to go to if you can’t figure out a tech problem, but specializes in Technical Direction

Somehow always figures out a way to make part of the set mechanized

Can be found chilling in the weirdest places when there isn’t anything to be working on, such as: on top of the vending machine, under the director/stage manager’s table, in the closed off orchestra pit, in the catwalks, on the very top of the set (how did you even climb up there?!?)

Also is found sleeping in the weirdest places (see above)

Is the only one who can comfortably walk through the catwalks without having to crouch or duck

Has claimed a specific chair in the booth, labeled it with a strip of spike tape and will fight anyone who tries to sit in it

Is pretty decent at getting tape on people in spike tape tag but completely oblivious when they put tape on her (mainly because of the oversized sweatshirts)

Messes around in prop land with Hunk and Lance all the time (seriously those three can’t be sent to the dungeon without getting distracted and always take an hour longer than they need to down there)

Hunk:

Techie

Specifically set and props

Makes the most realistic looking prop food you’ve ever seen

Also provides real food for long rehearsals and tech builds

Is the person to go to when one of the moving set pieces is stuck or too heavy and can’t be pushed

Is good at spike tape tag because nobody ever suspects he’s putting tape on them when he hugs them

Is the one always finding Pidge sleeping in weird places and brings them to the tech booth and puts a blanket on them

Likes to run rail backstage

Teaches all the new techies how to use all the equipment safely

Makes puns over headset

Shiro:

Used to act and was the lead everyone always fawned over, but now he stage manages

Is the only one all the actors listen to when he tells them to get off the set so the techies can do the scene change (seriously, I love the actors, but GET OFF MY SET)

Is the only thing keeping Allura sane

Whenever a prop needs to be found fast he makes sure to have Keith go find it because the garrison trio can’t help goofing off in prop land

Gives off calm and collected vibes and makes everything seem organized and under control even when something is going wrong during a show but is actually always screaming inside

Allura:

The director

Stage managed for a long time and also did a bit of acting but does her best work in directing when she’s the one seeing and controlling the bigger picture

Gets kinda snappy when she’s tired and been working too hard and Shiro makes her go take a nap

Literally memorizes the whole play and can give lines when actors need them without even having to look at the script

Sneaks off to try on all the fun costumes with Lance

Is really good at pushing the actors to be their best and will work one on one with any actor that wants help

Somehow knows exactly where everything is in prop land so if someone can’t find something they ask her and once they look where she tells them it magically appears

Coran:

The really wacky designer who has absolutely crazy ideas but they end up being brilliant (sorry, that’s all I got for him)

[willowreadsgayfanfiction]

The actor au is the only thing keeping me sane rn

losing my shit on how till literally never looks at ivan unless theyre actively fighting, like even in the flashback

and then during the song its the same thing

all ivan wants is for till to acknowledge him, just to look at him for even one second, give him a second thought- but he cant even do that

so then ivan does the fucking makout/choking sacrifice thing- "oh isnt he a hypocrite for getting mad at sua for doing the same thing?" no, because he was mad at sua because she knew what she would do would hurt mizi because she loved her.

ivan doesnt think sacrificing himself will hurt till, because till will never love him. HE KNOWS THIS AND YET HE STILL SACRIFICES HIMSELF FOR SOMEONE HE THINKS WILL NEVER LOVE HIM

AND EVEN NOW TILL WONT LOOK AT HIM

and then once he's certain till is safe, he gives him one last, real, selfish kiss

a last ditch admission of his love before

till finally looks at him, just too late

IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND GUYS ISTG

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! Here’s this month’s list of amazing fics. I can‘t thank every author enough for keeping me sane with their fics ♥

When Least Expected | Rearviewdreamer | pandemic fic - online relationship - kid fic - fluff - 22k Drowning in a sea of emails and Zoom meetings in the living room, his lonely son falling more and more behind in his kitchen classroom, and crushing weight of the world being on house arrest for the foreseeable future, one fateful online interaction suddenly has everything looking up.

Across the Grey, Salty Sea | thecheshirepussycat | Dunkirk AU - prostitution - 20k Prompt 212: Alex from Dunkirk and French escort/prostitute Louis who ends up in Alex’s quarters more nights than not. Alex gives him his dog tag to wear maybe just a lot of smut and dirty talk with Louis being a pretty princess.

Sakura Sunset | MsHydeStylinson | flower shop - break up - post-break up - getting back together - miscommunication - angst - emotional hurt/comfort - 16k Harry and Louis have a tradition. Every spring they stand below hundreds of dazzling cherry blossom trees in Kew Garden, and year after year they come back to walk amongst the trees and experience that love over again. This year everything changes. Louis is offered a once in a lifetime opportunity in Silicon Valley, California. Only after Louis has left does Harry realise he made the biggest mistake of his life breaking up with Louis, and he has to live with the consequences of his actions. Four years later, Harry discovers that Louis has returned to London, and in an effort to find the closure he desperately needs, he must tell Louis the truth behind their break up so he can move on with his life.

it's hard to fight naked | bluestarwitch | enemies to lovers - roommates - fluff - smut - 11k Prompt 6: Louis and Harry are roommates, but they cannot stand each other. When Harry heard Louis moan his name while Louis was riding a dildo in Harry’s room (Louis thought he was alone at home), Harry couldn’t stop himself and so he ended up fucking Louis against the mattress. Happy ending! or where Louis leaves dirty socks on the couch, Zayn does assignments while he's high, and Harry is hopelessly crushing on his roommate.

where they glow | falsegoodnight | Tangled AU - fantasy - historical - royalty - magic - slow burn - first love - 70k “Look, sweetheart,” Harry starts, shaking his head. “Name your price - seriously. I’m willing to be generous, just don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be. I’ll take my crown and we never have to see each other again. Easy peasy.” Louis frowns at the term of endearment that sounds condescending dripping from Harry’s lips, stepping closer. “Something brought you here, Harry Styles. Call what you will: fate, destiny…” “Liam Payne,” Harry mutters. “And I have made the decision to trust you,” Louis says, ignoring the odd comment. “A horrible decision, really,” Harry says, looking amused. “Then again, I’m the one sitting here in ropes with multiple bruises on my head so who am I to say anything about decisions?” - Or, a Tangled AU where Louis dreams, Harry runs, and the sun prince has been missing for almost nineteen years.

Too Young To Know | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - exes to lovers- k Louis blinked awake and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. This was the second morning in a row he had woken up after dreaming about Harry. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Eric asked as he held Louis tighter in his arms. Louis liked being the little spoon, except for when he’d rather be holding someone else. Which were the past two days. Or the one where Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

across city skyline (and straight through my heart) | Halos_Boat | famous/not famous - angst - slow burn - friends to lovers - miscommunication - unhealthy relationship - fluff - 76k Louis Tomlinson meets Hollywood Heartthrob, Harry Styles when he walks into Louis' little bakery one day. Immediately, Louis is charmed by him and Louis thinks Harry might feel the same way, given the fact that Harry has visited the bakery everyday since he'd come to town. Until one day, Harry walks in with a boyfriend under his arm and a smile on his face. The one where Louis owns a small bakery that's well known in his town and Harry Styles is an actor who comes to town to film a new movie. Louis is endeared by him, but that doesn’t seem to matter since Harry Styles is already taken.

High Noon Or Midnight, I Don't Want To Know | creamcoffeelou | royalty - a/b/o - bonding - 24k The intruder stands there for too long before he reaches into his bag, pulling a length of rope into his hands. The darkness is too overpowering for Harry to make out any of the alpha’s features, rather he can only see the sweeping movement of his hands, his legs as he takes a step closer. Harry knows what’s happening, can see exactly how this is going to play out, but he almost doesn’t want to fight the idea. “Wait,” Harry starts. The words come faster than he intends, mouth moving before he can think through what he’s saying. “Let me get dressed and pack a bag. And then I will go with you.” OR: Harry is an omega prince who doesn't want the crown and will do anything to escape. Louis is an alpha who does and will do anything to get it.

Landslide | ohpleaselarry | 90s AU - road trip - angst - implied mcd - crying - fluff - smut - no happy ending - 38k In the summer of 1995, Harry finishes his second term of university with flying colours, and decides that the only way to truly celebrate is to go on a four week long road trip around the UK filled with music, sight-seeing, and way too much pot. When Niall refuses to go, he has no choice but to accept the company of a spontaneous boy with an eccentric fashion sense that he’s only just met. Louis is wildly loud, blunt, and may or may not be everything Harry’s ever needed in life, even with the boy’s knack for causing mischief and ranting about mortality. Oh, And Louis has a big fucking secret.

Shut Up and Wink at Me | kikikryslee | high school - pining - hate to love - fluff - 14k “Did you get your housing information yet?” Louis asked. Harry pursed his lips. “Yeah. So?” “So? So it looks like we’re going to be roommates. Don’t you think we should know each other a little bit?” “We’ve gone to the same schools since Kindergarten. I already know you.” “Yeah, but we’re not like, friends,” Louis said. “Ouch.” Harry pretended to be hurt, holding a hand over his heart. “That stings, Louis.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Look, I would like to know at least something about you before I live with you for an entire school year.” “What do you suggest?” “I don’t know,” Louis said. “I guess just like, hang out and make sure we’re compatible?” “You make it sound like we’re going on a blind date.” “Trust me; we’re fucking not.” “Again, ouch.” --- Or, the one where Louis wants to go away to college to get away from everything having to do with his hometown. So when he finds out his roommate will be Harry Styles, perfect school athlete and the exact opposite of what Louis wants in a roommate, he's not happy about it.

Hiding Out in the Kitchen | LittleMousling | famous/not famous - dating - romance - touring - angst - jealousy - 28k Harry's in an internationally famous boyband with his three best mates, he gets laid on a pretty regular basis, and he's headed to Australia in a week. He doesn't need anything else, and he certainly doesn't need a boyfriend. If this nice guy he met in a coffeeshop wants to date him, great—but that's all it is. Right?

Things Unsaid | LadyLondonderry | soulmates - meet-cute - 4k "That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter." It feels like time slows down. Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares. The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again. The man is gone. His soulmate is gone. Or, where you have a tattoo of the first thought your soulmate has when they see you.

Please Be Naked | Only_angel_28 | college/university - nude modeling - strangers to lovers - banter - fluff - sexual tension - 17k Louis starts squirming, desperately needing something to do with his hands. Needing to do anything, really, to distract him from the perfect male specimen standing naked in front of him. In the end, the only thing he can do is strip out of his own jeans and briefs, which he does with trembling, clumsy fingers, his heart beating out a violent, chaotic rhythm in his chest the entire time. He hears Harry’s sharp intake of breath, and slowly raises his eyes from where he was staring at his own bare feet to meet his gaze. “So,” Harry says bashfully, his voice gone even deeper somehow. “We’re naked.” “Yup,” Louis squeaks. “You okay?” No! “Yup,” Louis repeats, sounding just as unstable as he did the first time. This is the last favor Louis Tomlinson is ever doing for Zayn Malik. (Because, after today, he’ll be dead, but that’s neither here nor there.) *Or the one where Louis agrees to help out Zayn with one of his art projects and ends up getting much more than he bargained for.

Baby, Teach Me How To | FallingLikeThis | student/teacher - pining - nude modeling - 13k At 10 am, the door to the studio classroom shuts with a bang that makes Harry jolt in his seat at the sound of it. He turns to see an absolutely gorgeous man standing there, hand still on the doorknob. His hair falls in a windswept swoop over his brow and he’s got a sexy scruff on his cheeks that Harry immediately can’t help imagining between his thighs. The man’s eyes shine with mirth, lips quirked into a wicked grin at having gotten a reaction from nearly everyone in the room. Harry watches him with unfettered curiosity, idly thinking he’d be a beautiful subject for a portrait as the man’s hand falls from the door. “Hello, class,” he says, clapping his hands in front of him and Harry’s eyes have a hard time staying in his head. This is Professor Tomlinson? Or Louis is Harry's art professor and they both know it's forbidden to fall in love. Somehow, they manage to anyway.

darling, you give love a bad name | snowcaplou | shotgun wedding - arranged marriage - mpreg - childhood friends - friends to lovers - miscommunication - fluff - angst - 29k “Harry,” Louis says again. He’s swallowing down tears that have already pooled in his irises-- he’s cried enough today. He needs to get this off of his chest, he needs Harry to know what’s going on. Harry nods, encouraging him to speak, but Louis is sure that he would not be so calm if he knew what was coming. Nothing could accurately prepare him, though, for what leaves Louis’ lips next. “I’m pregnant.” OR Louis' has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he's grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend's brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the "right" thing. Get married before anybody finds out. Alternately known as "The Shotgun AU"

Be with me so happily | BriaMaria | enemies to lovers - fluff - light angst - animal death - smut - 43k Harry Styles may have had his doubts at first, but by the time the gates to the elephant sanctuary came into view he was one hundred percent positive. Louis Tomlinson hated his guts. Like hated, hated. Like loathed-him-on-sight hated. From what Harry could tell, he hadn’t even done anything close to insulting enough to warrant the disdain that was Louis Tomlinson’s default expression whenever he looked at Harry. It really wasn’t fair. Especially since he’d been lusting after the man from the second he’d laid eyes on that pretty, pretty face with those pretty, pretty eyes. Or ... the one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn't so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them. [aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn't want to babysit his funder's spoiled lay-about son for two months]

[stillebesat]

Beneath the Moon -Part 1

December Drabbles Day 18  Sanders Sides: Logan, Roman Blurb: After all the research he’d done, after all the signs he’d been experiencing. Logan needed someone to tell him he wasn’t crazy. And Roman...Roman had always been the one most likely to believe in the fantastical, the impossible, the...supernatural. Fic Type: Werewolf!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Bite Wound -Semi-Detailed, Dog Attack Mention, Injuries, War Talk, Fighting Talk, Death/Dying Talk Taglist in Reblog.  

“A werewolf.” 

Logan swallowed, fiddling with the loosely wrapped bandage on his hand as he kept his eyes firmly on Roman’s ankles. “I told you.” He said. “It isn’t logical.” 

“Hence why you came to me because I’m…what was that phrase you used the last time we…talked?” 

Logan ran his uninjured hand through his hair as he ducked his head. Why had he ever thought, after how they’d left things off, that Roman would actually help him? The unhealing bite wound had to be infected and addling his brains despite the numerous doctors visits and medications he’d been on this past month that would prove otherwise. 

“I believe I called you a ‘pompous prick of a prince stuck in a permanent delusional daydream.’” He whispered.

Roman snorted, uncrossing his legs as he leaned forward like a hawk about to snatch up his prey. “Trust the Brain to remember such a phrase after what? Fifteen years, Lo.” 

This was a mistake. Logan made a noncommittal sound as he hunched his shoulders. But he’d seen Roman and just---reacted, instinctively trusting that he would be able to help. 

After all the research he’d done, after all the signs he’d been experiencing. Logan needed someone to tell him he wasn’t crazy. And Roman...Roman had always been the one most likely to believe in the fantastical, the impossible, the...supernatural. “It’s what I’m good at.” He said, closing his eyes, again fidgeting with the bandage. “Remembering things.” 

He’d been teased constantly for his memory all throughout school. Been called Sherlock or Brain so often that half their graduating class didn’t know his actual name. 

Which made the fact that he couldn’t remember the fever filled two days after he’d received this...this bite...from that black dog--wolf?...more concerning.  

And after a month’s long session of ‘research’ into his wound, his further symptoms, and the circumstances around his bite and the dog--wolf that had bitten him…had led him to the only explanation that fit the entire experience. 

He’d been bitten by a werewolf. 

And if...IF this was true, his research pointed to the strong possibility that in under an hour, when the full moon rose, Logan would forcibly be changed from man to wolf. 

He didn’t want to believe it. 

But all the signs pointed to it. His sudden allergy to silver. Cats no longer liking him. An increase in appetite, especially for red meat--which Logan had historically disliked the taste of. His eyesight inexplicably improving to the point where he no longer needed to wear his glasses. His sense of smell and hearing randomly becoming overwhelming to the point he could barely function only to return to normal a split second later. And most importantly, the fact that the bite wound on his hand would not heal, which a very dusty book from the library had stated would not vanish until after the first full moon after the bite occurred---all pointed to him being a werewolf.

 But it wasn’t like Logan could just tell anyone about this theory of his. About what he thought could happen tonight.

After all, werewolves shouldn’t exist. 

To confide to anyone that he thought that they did and that he could become one tonight because he’d been bitten by a dog that looked like a wolf--

“And you thought...that I was still this...delusional Prince?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow, his amber eyes glittering. “Willing to go along with any make-believe or fantasy adventure that comes my way at the drop of a hat?” 

Logan could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and hated himself for it. Of course it was crazy to expect that Roman of all people would believe him. 

In retrospect he probably was the worst choice Logan could have made when choosing to confide in someone. After all, they had been, for all intents and purposes, enemies for the past fifteen years. 

Yet Logan had momentarily forgotten that little fact. Had only remembered his childhood friend who had lived and breathed adventure growing up and would probably be the one most likely to believe him when he saw him pull into his driveway. 

A Child’s fantasy was a lot different from an Adult’s though.

And Roman...Roman had gone from wanting to be an Actor in high school to choosing to serve three tours overseas in the War and coming back a decorated hero. Someone who had seen the darker side of being a modern day knight in shining armor and yet had chosen to embrace that reality anyways. 

Even sitting, Roman commanded the room. He was all confidence, a lion lounging on his throne, claws only sheathed because there was no need to use them...yet. 

And if things went…badly. It was all too likely that he would use those warrior skills and shoot Logan the moment he...he changed. After all, Roman was now trained to see threats and take care of them.

Werewolves were historically, in their lore, always a threat. A danger to society.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, conscious of how his heart rate had picked up. 

Mistake. Mistake! MISTAKE!

He had under an hour to get to a place where he could potentially shift in safety. Where he could test his theory of what he was and how he would change without endangering himself or any people who might be around and here he was talking to his high school enemy like he expected Roman to take him in like a lost injured puppy.

Logan pushed to his feet, bringing his bandaged hand to his chest protectively. “My apologies, Roman.” He said, unable to look up from the ground to properly face him. Roman probably was staring at him like he was a crazed loon after his sudden appearance on his doorstep and the ludicrous story he’d just told. “I shouldn’t have intruded in such a manner.” He turned for the door. “I’ll see myself out.”

He’d been so desperate to find someone, anyone to humor him. Someone he could trust. To help him test out his theory. To make sure that IF he changed. If something went wrong. That--that if he--he became a crazed bloodthirsty beast, there would be someone there to take care of it--keep him safe from hurting others. 

Or…if nothing happened. Which Logan desperately wanted to believe. That nothing would happen. That the moon would rise and he would just be standing there, perfectly fine and definitely embarrassed to have indulged in such a fancy...that someone would keep his momentary lapse in judgement quiet--

He highly doubted that Roman would keep this particular visit quiet. What sane person would? Logan probably looked like a crazed lunatic, showing up out of the blue in an old NASA t-shirt and worn jeans, spouting off theories on how he could be a new-made werewolf going to change for the first time tonight--Roman should have called the police as soon as he opened his mouth.

Logan would have, had their positions been switched. 

He tensed, breath hitching as Roman caught his wrist in an iron grip before he’d taken three steps, conscious of the fact that his childhood friend probably now knew twelve different ways to incapacitate him before he could blink.  

“You didn’t show me the bite wound.” Roman said, voice soft. “How can you tell me such a fantastical story and expect me to believe you if you don’t show me your key piece of proof?” 

Logan bit his bottom lip, daring to glance at his childhood friend, gauging how serious he was about seeing the injury. 

“Well?” Roman held out his hand, palm up towards Logan. “It’s not like I haven’t seen my fair share of battle wounds, Lo. I doubt your little bite will compare.”

That was true. Roman had seen battle. War. People dead and dying.

Logan steeled himself, he’d been careful about who touched his injured hand, not sure what the wound would do should it come in contact with another. “It’s not a little bite.” He said, reluctantly holding it out to him.  

He raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing on his lips. “I’ll be the judge of that.” 

Logan looked away as Roman unraveled the bandage. His feet shifted in place as he glanced at the clock on the mantle, watching the second hand tick its way closer to the full moon’s rising. 

It was odd...Roman had never needed proof before. He’d been the sort to take people at their word and go harring off at the slightest hint of an adventure.

Obviously he had changed far more after high school than Logan had anticipated. It was--

Roman whistled as the last of the bandages fell to the ground. “This...happened a month ago?” He asked, turning Logan’s hand over studying the bite that formed a large crescent shape from his middle finger down to his wrist. 

“Twenty-eight days.” He corrected, wincing as Roman gently poked the wound. He’d been attacked on the last night of last month’s full moon cycle. 

“It looks--”

“Fresh?” Besides the visible lack of blood coming from the wound, it looked like it could have happened only minutes ago.

“Horrible.” Roman frowned. “I’ve seen men take sharpenal to their hands and this--just a bit more pressure and you could have lost your thumb and two fingers--”

Logan winced, his stomach twisting. “I know--I didn’t.” It had been a close thing though. He could have lost half his hand if the wolf had dug its teeth just half an inch deeper into his flesh and pulled, it was a miracle he could still use his fingers at all. Another inconsistency really, with normal dog bites. His hand still worked perfectly despite the large wound maring half of the surface that should have destroyed his tendons and muscles.

“And you’ve tried--”

“Everything short of surgery.” And with his hand able to function normally, no Doctor was willing to try that just yet, not after a single month. “Nothing heals it.” 

Roman hummed. “An unhealing wound.” He mumbled, looking up. He frowned, raising a hand to Logan’s chin, turning his head this way and that as he peered into his eyes. “Did you always have a golden tint to your irises?” He asked, trailing his fingers down to press gently against the side of Logan’s throat, where the pulse of his heart frantically pounded against Roman’s warm fingers.

Logan swallowed, feeling the color draining from his face. Golden tint? “No.” He whispered. “They’ve always been green. You know that.” 

Roman clicked his tongue, abruptly pulling away from him and crossing his arms. “Okay. Say, hypothetically, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

Logan blinked at the sudden change in tone. “You don’t?” He asked, not quite believing he was hearing this as pulling his hand back to his chest. It would be pointless to try and rebandage it with the moon so close to rising.

“Hypothetically.” Roman stressed, giving him a tight smile. “If you are going to turn into this--” He waved a hand around. “Werewolf creature. What exactly did you want my help for? Cus I highly doubt you’re thinking something stupid like true love’s kiss will work in this particular scenario of yours that you’ve set up.”

To Be Continued.  Part 2

[star-puff]

@hymeno

galliard’s caption on ig would be “eren’s awfully cheerful about shooting scenes in Marley”

[justsomebodywithtoomanyfandoms]

ok.

you know what keeps me sane?

maladaptive daydreaming

you know what also is supposed to keep me sane?

attack on titan

currently the second one isnt keeping me sane (:

so i use the power of my daydreaming to make yessir you got it

🌠aot actor au🌠

and that.

that is the only thing that makes me go trough these days😗

[lorata]

Have you written any peacekeeper-volunteer!Emory that you’d be willing to share? The idea of this au makes me so excited!

I have only written the Reaping and I honestly can't remember if I posted it before, but I tried to search for it and couldn't find it, so -- here it is

*******

It still feels weird, standing with her classmates at the Academy instead of the cluster of kids in the Program, but the second year isn’t so bad. This year at least Emory is solidly at the top of her beginner class, not floundering lost in the detox dorms, and it’s easier not to think of herself as a failure now that she has a proper career path in front of her.

This year it’s not about flunking out of the Program and what will her parents think and how can she look anyone in the eye again with a pale strip around her wrist from where they took the Centre bracelet away. This year Emory isn’t number one but that doesn’t matter at the Academy, it’s not like the Centre where there’s one position and everyone else is a loser, at the Academy there are tiers and she’s up with the best of them and there’s no more fears about whether or not she’s flashy enough or pretty enough or what weapon suits her physique or can she withstand a full shot of tracker jacker venom without losing her mind in a messy, non-photogenic way.

This year Emory is eighteen years old — nineteen in August — and her instructors at the Academy tell her that with her scores she could work anywhere in Two if she wants to, and maybe even the Capitol. This year there’s possibility, and the road ahead might not be what she thought it would but maybe that’s okay.

This year Emory is not going to die. This year another girl — a girl Emory has trained with since they were little more than children — may very well die so Emory doesn’t have to. It’s Emory’s last Reaping, and after next month she’ll go back to classes like normal and there will either be one more female Victor or one more corpse in District 2.

It’s a sobering thought, and they told Emory at the Academy that she doesn’t have to watch but she told them she has to and they didn’t fight her on it. Some things you have to do.

Emory doesn’t dwell on the fact that it could have been her, if she’d worked a little harder, been a little more convincing, if she’d put more effort into the acting part of her Field Exam and not focused so much on staying alive and sane. That part of her life is over, and she refuses to make what is statistically likely to be another girl’s death into a relief simply because it could have been her.

It always could have been her, anyway. Volunteering in District 2 is a privilege, not a right, and one the Capitol could withdraw any time. It’s a mistake going into any Reaping thinking that safety is a foregone conclusion. Emory’s first fistfight happened the year of the first Reaping she was old enough to understand, when a group of boys were snickering and not paying attention to the ceremony. She hadn’t made a scene during, of course, but as soon as the doors closed and everything ended Emory launched herself at the biggest boy and punched him right in the nose.

(The Peacekeepers broke it up almost immediately, and of course the boy was from the merchant class and his mother tried to have Emory dragged away to the juvenile mines, but when the Peacekeepers heard why she attacked they let her go and warned the woman to teach her son some respect. Emory got a hair ruffle and a friendly knock to the shoulder from the officers, and one of them even slipped her a piece of candy he had in his pocket.)

It won’t be her but Emory pays attention through the whole ceremony anyway, the speeches that always take forever and the movie that’s overdramatic and always gives her that itchy feeling of second-hand embarrassment for the actors. She watches in silence as the escort calls the name of the boy, and swallows hard but keeps her expression mostly steady when she recognizes Byron as he takes the stage.

They keep the boys separated from the girls for the most part after thirteen, but Emory’s fought with Byron a few times and knows him well enough. He’s a good sort, a quarry boy like her with the arms to prove it, and he’d done the Program for the money but because he had a temper that exploded out of nowhere and didn’t disappear until he’d broken something, or someone. He’ll do well in the Arena, not much in the way of surprises with him but the Capitol likes to know what they’re getting.

Emory keeps up the semi-detached analysis of his chances until he grins at the crowd with a fierceness that makes the escort twitter and pretend to shy away, and that’s when Emory can’t stop thinking that Byron likes blueberries better than any other food. After his first kill he got a whole bowl of them, laden with cream and two heaping spoonfuls of sugar, and he never ate another one again as long as Emory had known him.

Emory shivers, and there’s a sick weight in her stomach that doesn’t go away no matter how many times she swallows and takes deep breaths, but this isn’t about her. Byron chose this, he trained his whole life for it, and it’s not Emory’s place to feel bad for him. He’s getting what he wants, and that’s more than some people can say.

(But still — well, still.)

The escort calls the girl next, and Emory holds her breath. The girl called looks about fourteen or fifteen, a pretty little thing with dark hair pulled into pigtails and tied with ribbons, and she’s got a plain blue dress with hand-stitched lace at the collar. She’s also terrified in a way that the first boy — only thirteen or thereabouts, but quarry-proud and determined before Byron called out — was not, and that marks her as merchant more than the shoes or her slender build.

Emory waits — the escort waits — the whole square waits, but nothing happens. The escort calls for volunteers, even, the closest they can get to a prompt without actually acknowledging the fact that it’s a done deal here in Two, but silence. Four seconds. Five. Six. Seven.

Emory and her classmates are off to the side, and that means she’s able to catch a glimpse of the Centre kids at the back without having to turn her head. And yes, there they are, Emory’s former cohort, there’s Naia wide-eyed and furious, hissing something out of the side of her mouth to Lindsey, who’s gone so pale she’s turning green.

Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.

“Well,” says the escort in a fake-jolly voice. The show must go on, after all. “If there’s no one —“

The year of the 30th, the male Volunteer choked and no one stepped up for the boy. He died quick and messy, likely an arranged execution between the mentors from Two and One, while the traitor — well. Emory has seen that video — Lindsey has seen that video, they’ve all seen it, the silent Peacekeepers and the hooded boy on the steps and the shocked, frozen trainees on the grass, what is she thinking — and it can’t. It can’t happen again. Fear can’t be allowed to win, not this time.

District 2 must have its sacrifice. Country before self, duty before life. If one falls, we all fall.

Emory steps forward. “I volunteer!” she shouts, and her voice rings the square and echoes off the limestone wall of the Justice Building, and a strange rustle floats through the crowd that she realizes a second later is a collective exhale. She strides forward, her heart pounding, and please, please let this be the right thing to do. All the Centre kids know, and anyone with any experience with the Games will see the lack of a bracelet on Emory’s wrist — and oh Snow she’s in her cadet uniform, even, the usual volunteers don’t have those — and maybe she made it worse. Maybe they’ll kill her for her impudence, for speaking out of turn when they’ve all been drilled since they were old enough to understand that you never, ever, everspeak at the Reaping, not as a joke, not as a dare, not for any reason.

Still. If they take her out back and shoot her, claim that the female volunteer met with an unfortunate accident, at least District 2 will not be branded cowards.

Emory offers up a silent prayer to President Snow and the mercy of the Capitol and climbs the stairs to the stage.

The stage is a lot higher in real life than it looks from the square or on television, which makes no sense because Emory has climbed and even jumped from higher without flinching, but there’s no helping it now. The entire square is staring at her, even Byron, and Emory keeps her gaze forward, high and over the tops of their heads so she won’t accidentally look at Lindsey or her other classmates and lose her nerve at whatever she sees on their faces.

“Well!” says the escort, pressing a fluttering hand to her chest. “You certainly had me going!” She turns to Emory, gives her an exaggeratedly sympathetic wink. “Don’t tell me you had second thoughts?”

Oh no. A Volunteer with cold feet is almost as bad as no Volunteer at all, and Emory didn’t just throw her entire life away to ruin it by stepping in bad press from the get-go. None of her training has the answer, either; back when she was in the running they played the honour and nobility card, the daughter of the district who wanted to make good in the Arena, but no amount of aw-shucks sincerity will get her out of this one.

Emory’s acting scores were the weakest of her lot, but this is bigger than tally marks on paper and the trainers’ opinions of her. Now it matters, and Emory has never backed down from a challenge. Even though she knows, from three years of watching the Games with the trainers dissecting every moment, that whatever she says and does onstage in this moment will set the tone for the rest of her time in the Arena.

(The Arena —)

“I wanted to make a dramatic entrance,” Emory says, with a grin that’s borrowed from a thousand reruns of Games past and a head toss that feels artificial even though she’s pretty sure she nailed it. “I might have gotten carried away in the moment.”

The escort giggles. “Oh is that so! Aren’t you the cocky one.”

It’s funny — the laugh bubbles up in her throat before Emory swallows it down — but volunteering, that was the easy part. Duty is clear and unambiguous, that’s what’s great about it; someone had to step in, and Emory did, end of story. But this — standing on stage, projecting cockiness and arrogance and idiotic teenage nonchalance like all the pretty, confident girls Emory used to watch on television and know that she could never be — this is much, much scarier. There’s no way to go backwards from the Reaping, not for a Two, and if she goes through with this then Emory can never show hesitation again even for a moment or the whole thing will fall to pieces.

But there’s no other way to explain the long silence, and Emory can’t let anyone — the districts, the Capitol, the President — think she’s anything but committed. And so she plants her stance, crosses her arms and shows her teeth. “Cocky is for posers,” she says, raising her chin and making sure not to flinch when the multi-storey version of herself on either side mirrors her action. “I’m good, that’s all. Wait and see.”

“I’m sure we will,” the escort titters. “Ladies and gentlemen, your tributes for the 52nd Hunger Games!”

Even without pre-Games training, Emory has seen enough footage to know the next step. She moves in close to Byron and takes his hand, and he might be as confused as she is but he knows even better how to play the game. He doesn’t hesitate, but raises their arms over their heads, fingers linked in a show of solidarity that will end when one or both lie dead on the Arena floor.

Emory shakes away the thought, steps forward, and shouts to the crowd. And for all her serenity at the decision to be a Peacekeeper, all the confidence she’d had that she made the right choice, she would be lying if she said it didn’t thrill a little when the crowd shouts back.