#act one marvin hate club

[gayandtierdoflife]

Mendel weisenbachfeld is my style icon and I will stand by that until the day I die

[harvardwang]

伊萊恩·梅

美國女演員

伊萊恩·梅（英語：Elaine May，1932年4月21日—），女，美國演員、導演、編劇。曾獲得托尼獎最佳話劇女主角。

家庭：女兒珍妮·伯林。

參考資料

簡介

出生資訊： 1932 年 4 月 21 日（92歲），美國賓夕凡尼亞費城

專輯： An Evening With Mike Nichols And Elaine May

子女： 珍妮·伯林

父母： 艾達·伯林、 傑克·伯林

配偶： 大衛·L·魯賓芬 (結婚於 1964 年–1982 年)、 薛爾登・哈尼克 (結婚於 1962 年–1963 年)， …

Elaine May

American screenwriter, film director, actress, and comedian (born 1932)

Elaine Iva May (née Berlin; born April 21, 1932) is an American comedian, filmmaker, playwright, and actress. She first gained fame in the 1950s for her improvisational comedy routines with Mike Nichols, before transitioning her career regularly breaking the mold as a writer and director of several critically acclaimed films. She has received numerous awards, including a BAFTA Award, a Grammy Award, and a Tony Award. She was honored with the National Medal of Arts from President Barack Obama in 2013, and an Honorary Academy Award in 2022.

Quick Facts Born, Other names ...

In 1955, May moved to Chicago and became a founding member of the Compass Players, an improvisational theater group. She began working alongside Nichols and in 1957, they both quit the group to form their own stage act, Nichols and May. In New York, they performed nightly in clubs in Greenwich Village alongside Joan Rivers and Woody Allen, as well as on the Broadway stage. They also made regular appearances on television and radio broadcasts. They released multiple comedy albums and received four Grammy Award nominations, winning Best Comedy Album for An Evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May in 1962. Their collaboration was covered in the PBS documentary Nichols and May: Take Two (1996).

May infrequently acted in films, including Luv, Enter Laughing (both 1967), California Suite (1978), and Small Time Crooks (2000). She became the first female director with a Hollywood deal since Ida Lupino when she directed the 1971 black screwball comedy A New Leaf. Experimenting with genres, she directed the dark romantic comedy The Heartbreak Kid (1972), the gangster film Mikey and Nicky (1976), and adventure comedy Ishtar (1987). May later earned acclaim writing the screenplays for Warren Beatty's Heaven Can Wait (1978), and Mike Nichols' The Birdcage (1996) and Primary Colors (1998). Heaven Can Wait and Primary Colors each earned her a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay, while the latter won her the BAFTA Award for Best Adapted Screenplay.

May returned to acting in Woody Allen's Amazon Prime series Crisis in Six Scenes (2016) and on Broadway in the revival of the Kenneth Lonergan play The Waverly Gallery (2018) the later of which earned her the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Play. The win made May the second-oldest performer behind Lois Smith to win a Tony Award for acting. In 2022, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences gave May an Honorary Academy Award for her "bold, uncompromising approach to filmmaking, as a writer, director, and actress".

Early years and personal life

Elaine Iva Berlin was born on April 21, 1932, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the daughter of Jewish parents, theater director and actor Jack Berlin and actress Ida (Aaron) Berlin.: 39  As a child, May performed with her father in his traveling Yiddish theater company, which he took around the country. Her stage debut on the road was at the age of three, and she eventually played the character of a generic little boy named Benny.

Because the troupe toured extensively, May had been in over 50 schools by the time she was ten, having spent as little as a few weeks enrolled at any one time. May said she hated school and would spend her free time at home reading fairy tales and mythology.: 331  Her father died when she was 11 years old, and then she and her mother moved to Los Angeles, where May later enrolled in Hollywood High School. She dropped out when she was fourteen years old. Two years later, at the age of sixteen, she married Marvin May, an engineer and toy inventor. They had one child, Jeannie Berlin (born 1949), who became an actress and screenwriter. The couple divorced in 1960, and she married lyricist Sheldon Harnick in 1962; they divorced a year later. In 1964, May married her psychoanalyst, David L. Rubinfine; they remained married until his death in 1982.: 332 

May's longtime companion was director Stanley Donen, from 1999 until his death in 2019. Donen said he proposed marriage "about 172 times".

Career

1950–1957: Stage career and Compass players

After her marriage to Marvin May, she studied acting. She also held odd jobs during that period, such as a roof salesman, and tried to enroll in college. She learned, however, that colleges in California required a high school diploma to apply, which she did not have.: 39  After finding out that the University of Chicago was one of the few colleges that would accept students without diplomas, she set out with seven dollars and hitchhiked to Chicago.

Soon after moving to Chicago in 1950, May began informally taking classes at the university by auditing, sitting in without enrolling. She nevertheless sometimes engaged in discussions with instructors and once started a huge fight after saying that Socrates' apology was a political move. Mike Nichols, who was then an actor in the school's theatrical group, remembers her coming to his philosophy class, making "outrageous" comments, and leaving.: 324  They learned about each other from friends, eventually being introduced after one of his stage shows. The director, Paul Sills, brought May to Nichols and said, "Mike, I want you to meet the only other person on the campus of the University of Chicago who’s as hostile as you are: Elaine May." Six weeks later, they bumped into each other at a train station in Chicago and soon began spending time together over the following weeks as "dead-broke theatre junkies.": 324f 

In 1955, May joined a new, off-campus improvisational theater group in Chicago, The Compass Players, becoming one of its charter members. The group was founded by Sills and David Shepherd. Nichols later joined the group, wherein he resumed his friendship with May. At first he was unable to improvise well on stage, but with inspiration from May, they began developing improvised comedy sketches together.: 333  Nichols remembered this period:

From then on it became mostly pleasure because of Elaine's generosity. The fact of Elaine—her presence—kept me going. She was the only one who had faith in me. I loved it... We had a similar sense of humor and irony... When I was with her I became something more than I had been before.: 333 

Actress Geraldine Page recalled they worked together with great efficiency, "like a juggernaut.": 336  Thanks in part to Nichols and May, the Compass Players became an enormously popular satirical comedy troupe. They helped the group devise new stage techniques to adapt the freedom they had during the workshop.: 16 

May, Nichols and Dorothy Loudon, 1959

May became prominent as a member of the Compass's acting group, a quality others in the group observed. Bobbi Gordon, an actor, remembers that she was often the center of attention: "The first time I met her was at Compass... Elaine was this grande dame of letters. With people sitting around her feet, staring up at her, open-mouthed in awe, waiting for 'The Word'.": 330f  A similar impression struck Compass actor Bob Smith:

May would hold court, discussing her days as a child actor in the Yiddish theater, as men hung on her every word. Every guy who knew her was in love with her. You'd have been stupid not to have been.: 329 

As an integral member of their group, May was open to giving novices a chance, including the hiring of a black actor and generally making the group "more democratic". And by observing her high level of performance creativity, everyone's work was improved. "She was the strongest woman I ever met," adds Compass actor Nancy Ponder.: 330 

In giving all her attention to acting, however, she neglected her home life. Fellow actress Barbara Harris recalled that May lived in a cellar with only one piece of furniture, a ping-pong table. "She wore basic beatnik black and, like her film characters, was a brilliant disheveled klutz.": 330 

Group actor Omar Shapli was "struck by her piercing, dark-eyed, sultry stare. It was really unnerving", he says. Nichols remembers that "everybody wanted Elaine, and the people who got her couldn't keep her." Theater critic John Lahr agrees, noting that "her juicy good looks were a particularly disconcerting contrast to her sharp tongue.": 329 

"Elaine was too formidable, one of the most intelligent, beautiful, and witty women I had ever met. I hoped I would never see her again."

Richard Burton: 331 

May's sense of humor, including what she found funny about everyday life, was different from others' in the group. Novelist Herbert Gold, who dated May, says that "she treated everything funny that men take seriously... She was never serious. Her life was a narrative.": 329  Another ex-boyfriend, James Sacks, says that "Elaine had a genuine beautiful madness." Nevertheless, states Gold, "she was very cute, a lot like Debra Winger, just a pretty Jewish girl.": 329 

May was considered highly intelligent. "She's about fifty percent more brilliant than she needs to be," says actor Eugene Troobnick. Those outside their theater group sometimes noticed that same quality. British actor Richard Burton, who was married to Elizabeth Taylor at the time, agreed with that impression after he first met May while he was starring in Camelot on Broadway.: 331���

1957–1961: Nichols and May comedy team

Nichols and May, 1960

Nichols was personally asked to leave the Compass Players in 1957 because he and May became too good, which threw the company off balance, noted club manager Jay Landsman. Nichols was told he had too much talent.: 338  Nichols then left the group in 1957, with May quitting with him. They next formed their own stand-up comedy team, Nichols and May. After contacting some agents in New York, they were asked to audition for Jack Rollins, who would later become Woody Allen's manager and executive producer. Rollins said he was stunned by how good their act was:

Their work was so startling, so new, as fresh as could be. I was stunned by how really good they were, actually as impressed by their acting technique as by their comedy... They were totally adventurous and totally innocent, in a certain sense. That's why it was accepted. They would uncover little dark niches that you felt but had never expressed... I'd never seen this technique before. I thought, My God, these are two people writing hilarious comedy on their feet!: 340 

By 1960, they made their Broadway debut with An Evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May, which later won a Grammy. After performing their act a number of years in New York's various clubs, and then on Broadway, with most of the shows sold out, Nichols could not believe their success:

We were winging it, making it up as we went along. It never even crossed our minds that it had any value beyond the moment. It was great to study and learn and work there. We were stunned when we got to New York... Never for a moment did we consider that we would do this for a living. It was just a handy way to make some money until we grew up.: 333 

His feelings were shared by May, who was also taken aback by their success, especially having some real income after living in near-poverty. She told a Newsweek interviewer, "When we came to New York, we were practically barefoot. And I still can't get used to walking in high heels.": 343 

The uniqueness of their act made them an immediate success in New York. Their style became the "next big thing" in live comedy. Charles H. Joffe, their producer, remembers that sometimes the line to their show went around the block. That partly explains why Milton Berle, a major television comedy star, tried three times without success to see their act.: 341  Critic Lawrence Christon recalls his first impression after seeing their act: "You just knew it was a defining moment. They caught the urban tempo, like Woody Allen did.": 343  They performed nightly at mostly sold-out shows, in addition to making TV program and commercial appearances and radio broadcasts.: 346  Their relatively brief time together as comedy stars led New York talk show host Dick Cavett to call their act "one of the comic meteors in the sky". Woody Allen said, "the two of them came along and elevated comedy to a brand-new level".

Technique

Theater program from 1961

Among the qualities of their act, which according to one writer made them a rarity, was that they used both "snob and mob appeal", which gave them a wide audience. Nachman explains that they presented a new kind of comedy team, unlike previous comedy duos which had an intelligent member alongside a much less intelligent one, as with Laurel and Hardy, Fibber McGee and Molly, Burns and Allen, Abbott and Costello, and Martin and Lewis.: 322 

What differentiated their style was the fact that their stage performance created "scenes," a method very unlike the styles of other acting teams. Nor did they rely on fixed gender or comic roles, but instead adapted their own character to fit a sketch idea they came up with. They chose real-life subjects, often from their own life, which were made into satirical and funny vignettes.: 322 

This was accomplished by using subtle joke references which they correctly expected their audiences to recognize, whether through clichés or character types. They thereby indirectly poked fun at the new intellectual culture which they saw growing around them. They felt that young Americans were taking themselves too seriously, which became the subject of much of their satire.: 321 

Nichols structured the material for their skits, and May came up with most of their ideas. Improvisation became a fairly simple art for them, as they portrayed the urban couple's "Age of Anxiety" in their sketches, and did so on their feet. According to May, it was simple: "It's nothing more than quickly creating a situation between two people and throwing up some kind of problem for one of them."

Nichols noted that after coming up with a sketch idea, they would perform it soon after with little extra rehearsal or writing it down. One example he remembered was inspired simply from a phone call from his mother. I called Elaine and I said, "I've got a really good piece for us tonight." They created a six-minute-long, mostly improvised, "mother and son" sketch, which they performed later that night.: 335 

May helped remove the stereotype of women's roles on stage. Producer David Shepherd notes that she accomplished that partly by not choosing traditional 1950s female roles for her characters, which were often housewives or women working at menial jobs. Instead, she often played the character of a sophisticated woman, such as a doctor, a psychiatrist, or an employer.: 337  Shepherd notes that "Elaine broke through the psychological restrictions of playing comedy as a woman.": 322 

May and Nichols had different attitudes toward their improvisations, however. Where Nichols always needed to know where a sketch was going and what its ultimate point would be, May preferred exploring ideas as the scene progressed. May says that even when they repeated their improvisations, it was not rote but came from re-creating her original impulse. Such improvisational techniques allowed her to make slight changes during a performance. Although May had a wider improvisational range than Nichols, he was generally the one to shape the pieces and steer them to their end. For their recordings, he also made the decision of what to delete.: 323 

Team break-up

Nichols and May

Audiences were still discovering May and Nichols in 1961, four years after they arrived. However, at the height of their fame, they decided to discontinue their act that year and took their careers in different directions: Nichols became a leading Broadway stage and film director; May became primarily a screenwriter and playwright, with some acting and directing. Among the reasons they decided to call it quits was that keeping their act fresh was becoming more difficult. Nichols explained:

Several things happened. One was that I, more than Elaine, became more and more afraid of our improvisational material. She was always brave. We never wrote a skit, we just sort of outlined it: I'll try to make you, or we'll fight—whatever it was. We found ourselves doing the same material over and over, especially in our Broadway show. This took a great toll on Elaine.: 349 

"Nichols and May are perhaps the most ardently missed of all the satirical comedians of their era. When Nichols and May split up, they left no imitators, no descendants, no blueprints or footprints to follow. No one could touch them."

Author Gerald Nachman: 319 

Nichols said that for him personally the breakup was "cataclysmic", and he went into a state of depression: "I didn't know what I was or who I was." It was not until 1996, thirty-five years later, that they would work together again as a team, when she wrote the screenplay and he directed The Birdcage. It "was like coming home, like getting a piece of yourself back that you thought you'd lost," he said.: 353  He adds that May had been very important to him from the moment he first saw her,: 325  adding that for her "improv was innate," and few people have that gift.: 359 

Director Arthur Penn said of their sudden breakup, "They set the standard and then they had to move on.": 351  To New York talk show host Dick Cavett, "They were one of the comic meteors in the sky.": 348 

They reunited for a Madison Square Garden benefit for George McGovern for President in June, 1972. The event, titled "Together Again for McGovern," also featured two musical groups that had recently broken up, Simon and Garfunkel and Peter, Paul and Mary, as well as singer Dionne Warwick.[citation needed]

1962–1969: Playwright and actor

May has also acted in comedy films, including Enter Laughing (1967), directed by Carl Reiner, and Luv (1967), costarring Peter Falk and Jack Lemmon. The latter film was not well received by critics, although Lemmon said he enjoyed working alongside May: "She's the finest actress I've ever worked with," he said. "And I've never expressed an opinion about a leading lady before... I think Elaine is touched with genius. She approaches a scene like a director and a writer." Film scholar Gwendolyn Audrey Foster notes that May is drawn to material that borders on dry Yiddish humor. As such, it has not always been well received at the box office. Her style of humor, in writing or acting, often has more to do with traditional Yiddish theater than traditional Hollywood cinema.

Following the break-up, May wrote several plays. Her greatest success was the one-act Adaptation (1969). Other stage plays she has written include Not Enough Rope, Mr Gogol and Mr Preen, Hotline (which was performed off-Broadway in 1995 as part of the anthology play Death Defying Acts), After the Night and the Music, Power Plays, Taller Than A Dwarf, The Way of All Fish, and Adult Entertainment. In 1969, she directed the off-Broadway production of Adaptation/Next.

1970–1999: Career as a writer and director

May made her film writing and directing debut in 1971 with A New Leaf, a black comedy based on a short story which she read in an Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine called The Green Heart which the author Jack Ritchie would later retitle A New Leaf. The unconventional romance with Walter Matthau as a Manhattan bachelor faced with bankruptcy, also starred May herself as the awkward botanist-heiress, Henrietta Lowell, who Matthau cynically woos and marries to salvage an extravagant lifestyle. Director May originally submitted a 180-minute work to Paramount, but the studio cut it back by nearly 80 minutes for release. The film has since become a cult classic. Vincent Canby cited the two-reelers of the 1930s and Depression-era screwball comedies when he called it "a beautifully and gently cockeyed movie that recalls at least two different traditions of American film comedy... The entire project is touched by a fine and knowing madness." May received a Golden Globe nomination for her portrayal of the shy botanist in the project from which she fought studio exec Robert Evans, unsuccessfully, to have her name removed.

Lead actors John Cassavetes (left) and Peter Falk (right) in 1971

May quickly followed her debut film with 1972's The Heartbreak Kid. She limited her role to directing, using a screenplay by Neil Simon, based on a story by Bruce Jay Friedman. The film starred Charles Grodin, Cybill Shepherd, Eddie Albert, and May's own daughter, Jeannie Berlin. It was a major critical success, and holds a 90% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. In 2000, it was listed at No. 91 on AFI's 100 Years... 100 Laughs list. May followed the two comedies by writing and directing the gangster film Mikey and Nicky, starring Peter Falk and John Cassavetes. Budgeted at $1.8 million and scheduled for a summer 1975 release, the film cost $4.3 million and was not released until December 1976. [citation needed] May ended up in a legal battle with Paramount Pictures over post-production costs, at one point hiding reels of the film in her husband's friend's Connecticut garage and later suing the company for $8 million for breach of contract. May worked with Julian Schlossberg to get the rights to the film and released a director's cut in 1980. In 2019, May worked with The Criterion Collection to create the newest director's cut. The film has gained appreciation by many critics and audiences in recent years.

In Herbert Ross's California Suite (1978), written by Neil Simon, she was reunited with A New Leaf co-star Walter Matthau, playing his wife Millie. In addition to writing three of the films she directed, May received an Oscar nomination for updating the 1941 film Here Comes Mr. Jordan as Heaven Can Wait (1978). May reunited with Nichols for a stage production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in New Haven in 1980. She contributed (uncredited) to the screenplay for the 1982 megahit Tootsie, notably the scenes involving the character played by Bill Murray.

Warren Beatty worked with May on the comedy Ishtar (1987), starring Beatty and Dustin Hoffman. Largely shot on location in Morocco, the production was beset by creative differences among the principals and had cost overruns. Long before the picture was ready for release, the troubled production had become the subject of numerous press stories, including a long cover article in New York magazine. Some of the opposition to the film came from David Puttnam, the studio head, making Ishtar a prime example of studio suicide. The advance publicity was largely negative and, despite some positive reviews from the Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post, the film was a box office disaster. The film Ishtar has been positively re-evaluated in the 21st century by multiple publications including the Los Angeles Times, Slate, Indiewire, and The Dissolve. Richard Brody of The New Yorker called Ishtar a "wrongly maligned masterwork" and raved, "There's a level of invention, a depth of reflection, and a tangle of emotions in Ishtar which are reached by few films and few filmmakers."

May acted in the film In the Spirit (1990), in which she played a "shopaholic stripped of consumer power"; Robert Pardi has described her portrayal as a "study of fraying equanimity [that] is a classic comic tour de force." She also contributed to the screenplay for the drama Dangerous Minds (1995). May reunited with her former comic partner, Mike Nichols, for the 1996 film The Birdcage, an American adaptation of the classic French farce La Cage aux Folles. Their film relocated the story from France to South Beach, Miami. It was a major box office hit. May received her second Oscar nomination for Best Screenplay when she again worked with Nichols on the 1998 film Primary Colors.

2000–present: Return to acting and Broadway

She appeared in Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks (2000) where she played the character May Sloane, which Allen named after May when he wrote it, and with May being his first choice for the part. For her acting, she won the National Society of Film Critics award for Best Supporting Actress. Allen spoke of her as a genius, and of his ease of working with her: "She shows up on time, she knows her lines, she can ad-lib creatively, and is willing to. If you don't want her to, she won't. She's a dream. She puts herself in your hands. She's a genius, and I don't use that word casually." Nearly 15 years later, Allen ended up casting her to play his wife, Kay Munsinger, in his Amazon limited series, Crisis in Six Scenes, which was released in 2016.

In 2002, Stanley Donen directed her musical play Adult Entertainment with Jeannie Berlin and Danny Aiello at Variety Arts Theater in Manhattan. May wrote the one-act play George is Dead, which starred Marlo Thomas and was performed on Broadway from late 2011 into 2012 as part of the anthology play Relatively Speaking along with two other plays by Woody Allen and Joel Coen, directed by John Turturro. Charles Isherwood of The New York Times praised May's entry describing it as "a delicious study in the bliss of narcissism". David Rooney of The Hollywood Reporter concurred describing George is Dead as the "Strongest entry". Before he died in 2019, Donen was reported to be in pre-production for a new film, begun December 2013, to be co-written with May and produced by Nichols. A table reading of the script for potential investors included such actors as Christopher Walken, Charles Grodin, Ron Rifkin, and Jeannie Berlin.

When May's lifelong collaborator Nichols died in 2014, May stepped up to poignantly direct the 2016 TV documentary Mike Nichols: American Masters. That same year, she returned to acting, her first role since 2000, starring alongside her friend Woody Allen in his series Crisis in Six Scenes on Amazon Prime, Tim Goodman of The Hollywood Reporter praised their chemistry together writing, "The best episodes are the last two, when Crisis in Six Scenes becomes a full-blown farce and we get to see Allen and May playing accidental aging radicals, shuffling around Brooklyn".

In 2018, aged 86, May returned to Broadway after 60 years in a Lila Neugebauer-directed revival of Kenneth Lonergan's play The Waverly Gallery opposite Lucas Hedges, Joan Allen, and Michael Cera. The play ran at the John Golden Theatre, the same theatre where Nichols and May had started out almost 60 years earlier. May received rapturous reviews for her performance as the gregarious, dementia-ridden elderly gallery owner Gladys Green, with many critics remarking that she was giving one of the most extraordinary performances they had ever seen onstage. The show received a nomination for the Tony Award for Best Revival of a Play, while May herself won the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Play for her performance. She became the second oldest performer to win a Tony Award for acting. In 2021 she portrayed Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the Paramount+ series The Good Fight.

In 2019, it was announced that May is set to direct her first narrative feature in over 30 years. Little is known about the project other than its title, Crackpot, and that it is set to star Dakota Johnson, who announced the project at the 2019 Governors Awards. In 2024, Johnson stated that the film is still in development and she serves as the film's producer and star with May still set to direct.

Filmography

Film

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Television

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Theatre

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Discography

Improvisations to Music (1958) Mercury ASIN B000W0V9BW

An Evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May (1960) Mercury ASIN B000W06CCS

Mike Nichols & Elaine May Examine Doctors (1961) Mercury MG 20680/SR 60680 ASIN B000W0AGDY

In Retrospect (1962) Polygram, compilation, re-released as compact disc in 1996 ASIN B000001EKT

Influence and legacy

Nichols and May created a new "Age of Irony" for comedy, which showed actors arguing contemporary banalities as a key part of their routine. That style of comedy was picked up and further developed by later comics such as Steve Martin, Bill Murray, and David Letterman.: 323  According to Martin, Nichols and May were among the first to satirize relationships. The word "relationship," notes Martin, was first used in the early sixties: "It was the first time I ever heard it satirized.": 323  He recalls that soon after discovering their recorded acts, he went to sleep each night listening to them. "They influenced us all and changed the face of comedy.": 324 

In Vanity Fair, Woody Allen declared, "Individually, each one is a genius, and when they worked together, the sum was even greater than the combination of the parts—the two of them came along and elevated comedy to a brand-new level."

Lily Tomlin was also affected by their routines and considers May to be her inspiration as a comedian: "There was nothing like Elaine May, with her voice, her timing, and her attitude," says Tomlin.: 43  "The nuances of the characterizations and the cultured types that they were doing completely appealed to me. They were the first people I saw doing smart, hip character pieces. My brother and I used to keep their 'Improvisations to Music' on the turntable twenty-four hours a day.": 324 

In an interview with Pitchfork Magazine, standup comedian John Mulaney described Mike Nichols & Elaine May Examine Doctors (1961) as one of his favorite comedy albums of all time. Mulaney stated, "I got this album for Christmas when I was in junior high. The last track, 'Nichols and May at Work,' is an outtake from recording the album, they were just improvising dialog in a studio. They’re trying to do a piece where a son goes to his mother and says that he wants to become a registered nurse. It’s something you just have to experience, because two people that funny laughing that hard is really, really, really funny. I think it might be the happiest thing ever recorded."

Filmmaker and film historian Peter Bogdanovich covered Elaine's filmography in his book Movie of the Week (1999). Bogdanovich praised all of her films and concluded with "Long live Elaine! Would that she could act and direct again in pictures. In 1998 I saw her perform off-Broadway in a couple of one-act plays she wrote (Power Plays), and her performances matched the comic genius of the writing." Other admirers of May's work include comedian Patton Oswalt, and directors Ben and Josh Safdie who both detailed their admiration for her and her work, in particular her film Mikey and Nicky (1976) through The Criterion Channel.

May's work as a director has been given a closer look in recent years with David Hudson, a writer for The Criterion Collection declaring her as a "criminally underappreciated moviemaker". In 2017 the Philadelphia Film Critics Circle created an award in her name given "to a deserving person or film that brings awareness to women’s issues".

May's life and career will be profiled in the biography Miss May Does Not Exist: The Life and Work of Elaine May, Hollywood’s Hidden Genius written by Carrie Courogen, which is set to be released in June 2024 published by Macmillan Publishers.

Awards and honors

Main article: List of awards and nominations received by Elaine May

May receiving the Medal of Arts award from President Obama, July 13, 2013

For her acting, her accolades include a nomination for a Golden Globe award for Best Actress in a musical or comedy for A New Leaf (1971), and winning the National Society of Film Critics Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Small Time Crooks (2000).

May was awarded the National Medal of Arts for her lifetime contributions to American comedy by President Barack Obama, in a ceremony in the White House on July 10, 2013. She was awarded for her "groundbreaking wit and a keen understanding of how humor can illuminate our lives, Ms. May has evoked untold joy, challenged expectations, and elevated spirits across our Nation."

In January 2016, the Writers Guild of America-West announced that May would receive its 2016 Laurel Award for Screenwriting Achievement at the Writers Guild of America Award ceremony in Los Angeles on February 13.

On June 9, 2019, May won the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Play for her performance as Gladys in the Broadway revival of Kenneth Lonergan's The Waverly Gallery. She also received a Drama League Award nomination and won a Drama Desk Award and an Outer Critics Circle Award for Outstanding Actress in a Play. That same year, May's film A New Leaf was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Film Registry for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".

In 2021, she was chosen to receive the Honorary Academy Award by the Board of Governors of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences, receiving the award for her "bold, uncompromising approach to filmmaking, as a writer, director and actress". She was honored at the annual Governors Awards alongside Samuel L. Jackson, Liv Ullman, and Danny Glover on March 25, 2022. Bill Murray presented her with the award crediting her with "saving his life on multiple occasions professionally".

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Mike Nichols

American film and theatre director (1931–2014)

Jeannie Berlin

American actress and screenwriter

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American film producer

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[babytsum]

i keep having random thoughts about them like

plays league of legends: kenma kozume, tsukishima kei, haiba lev

literally in e sports club: kozume kenma (hear me out he loves playing the games but he hates everyone else there), haiba lev, matsukawa issei (he joined as a joke but now he’s committed), yamaguchi tadashi

owns an anime girl body pillow: haiba lev, kozume kenma, kuroo tetsurou, hanamaki takahiro (i’m sorry he gives the vibes), matsukawa issei (OIKAWA AND MAKKI TEAMED UP TO GET HIM ONE IFJDKD)

got a 5 in ap physics: kuroo tetsurou, tsukishima kei, yachi hitoka, yamaguchi tadashi

takes honors classes that does not pertain to whatever they want to do in the future: akaashi keiji, kuroo tetsurou (he is struggling in literature), kita shinsuke

lowkey gets along well with the “big chungus” band kids: miya atsumu, kuroo tetsurou, bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou (he just goes along with whatever weird ass meme they have)

still thinks women pee out of their vagina until they turn 20: bokuto koutarou, tanaka ryu, nishinoya yuu, hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, miya atsumu

cum literally tastes like fresh fruit: kageyama tobio, ushijima wakatoshi, akaashi keiji, iwaizumi hajime, sakusa kiyoomi, yamamoto taketora, hoshiumi korai

fought people in the school bathrooms: kyoutani kentarou, shimizu kiyoko (some guy creeped on yachi ok), miya osamu (it was atsumu), iwaizumi hajime (it was barely a fight oikawa was getting annoying act a pimple), saeko tanaka, yamamoto taketora

begging for a ps5: suna rintarou, miya atsumu, miya osamu, kuroo tetsurou, kozume kenma, kunimi akira

dead puff bar drawer: suna rintarou (literally scared that kita will find it), terushima yuuji, kunimi akira, matsukawa issei, saeko tanaka (only when she was in high school tho)

owns those fucking led lights (i’m guilty ok i love writing under red led lights): suna rintarou, matsukawa issei, takahiro hanamaki, miya atsumu, miya osamu (he made fun of atsumu then got them a week later), sakusa kiyoomi (HEAR ME OUT), kunimi akira, kozume kenma, kuroo tetsurou (great for his only fans), terushima yuuji, miwa kageyama (I SWEAR), semi eita, shirabu kenjiro,

pets the dog while everyone is wasted: kita shinsuke (it’s just passed out inarizaki kids around him and kita is in the middle with the family dog wondering how he got in this position), ushijima wakatoshi, azumane asahi, fukunaga

high alcohol tolerance + has brain cells: kita shinsuke, ushijima wakatoshi, ojiro aran, haiba alisa, kageyama miwa, komori motoya, sakusa kiyoomi, iwaizumi hajime, daichi sawamura

drunk cries to the sight of a cute cat: haiba lev, nishinoya yuu, hinata shouyou, miya atsumu, fukunaga

has an onlyfans: kuroo tetsurou, sugawara koushi, miya atsumu, terushima yuuji, oikawa tooru, miya osamu (his face isn’t shown tho and sometimes he posts cooking videos), bokuto koutarou, hoshiumi korai

wears the maid outfit and likes it: hinata shoyo, sugawara koushi, miya atsumu, miya osamu, oikawa tooru, tendou satori, bokuto koutarou, hoshiumi korai, ushijima wakatoshi, tanaka ryu

simps to marvin’s room DJFKDSNK: oikawa tooru, miya atsumu, tanaka ryu, kageyama tobio (he got a playlist from tanaka ok it was a suggestion after his first break up)

definitely stoners: kyoutani kentarou, suna rintarou, hanamaki takahiro, matsukawa issei, miya osamu, shirabu kenjiro, semi eita, tendou satori, sugawara koushi

i would take edibles with this person: komori motoya, suna rintarou, miya osamu, semi eita, tendou satori, ushijima wakatoshi, hinata shouyou, matsukawa issei, fukunaga, akaashi keiji

EATS AN EDIBLE BY ACCIDENT LOL: bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, ushijima wakatoshi, tanaka ryu (OML SAEKO WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO EATING LIKE A FOURTH OF HER BROWNIE AND INSTEAD SHE FINDS RYU IN ANOTHER WORLD AND HER BROWNIE IS GONE FSDKJNFKDSJNF), miya atsumu (he’s so dumb omg he cannot read the room he ignores the label because he only sees brownie and osamu is like that has weed and he’s like “these edibles aint shit” and an hour later this man sees jesus himself)

[imaginedcreaderinsert]

Jason’s Room — Jason Todd x Reader (+ Dick Grayson)

SUMMARY: “Yeah?”You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time, see if it was an emergency. But Jason seems to be frozen.“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

WORD COUNT: 2140.

TW: Angsty, toxic relationship implied. Some cheating can be read, but is not acted on. Jason Todd is not portrayed as a good person on this one.

A/N: I have no excuse for writing this, other than really wanting to, which I think it’s a good step, seeing as I’ve abandoned writing for my own pleasure completely. So yeah, just have this.

LYRICS COMPLETELY TAKEN FROM “Marvin’s Room”, by Drake.

Bitches in my old phone

I should call one and go home

I've been in this club too long

 He’s really so fucking drunk. He shouldn’t be allowed to go out on nights like that, but he still does.

(Maybe clinging to the idea that someone will call him up and say “hey, don’t go, I know you’re bad, let’s talk?”.

 He’s stupid, really stupid. Stupid enough to-)

 No, he’s already drinking up another shot, from that lined up column of alcohol in front of him. Jason’s pretty sure he’s at a new club, but he can’t say for sure: nothing is familiar and yet everything echoes in him for a reason: faces, blurred-out expressions of joy and a world going too fast around him; music beating too hard in his chest, making his heart almost leap out of it; laughter that he’s not sure that’s coming out of him really, even as he feels his smile growing, a charismatic and cocky attitude coming out of him.

He could have anyone he wanted; Jason knows he doesn’t have the suave attitude of the family, and yet “the bad boy” always attracts a certain crowd of girls he feels like he could go in for that night.

Jason knows he could, but doesn’t. His hand moves up and down this gorgeous girl at her side, a bronzed goddess, but his eyes move to check up his phone: no new messages or calls.

It’s obsessive really. It must have been the third time he’s done that since his last shot, but… It’s infuriating to know he’s not needed.

 (He is; there’s always that stupid booty call, the fucking vigilante stuff he feels less and less like going in for – it now means something different, something that wrecks him up inside – or the casual reaching out he’s not really interested in deepening.

Just not by that one person he hasn’t heard anything from in the last weeks.

And you said you’d call by now (“in a week or so”), and yet--)

  The woman that I would try

Is happy with a good guy

But I've been drinkin' so much

That I'ma call her anyway, and say

 “Yeah?”

You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.

Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.

No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time,  see if it was an emergency... But Jason seems to be frozen.

“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

“Fuck, I-Fuck, no, I’m-Agh, I’ave to get out of ‘ere… Excuse YOU!” He drags out the vocals; tone is sleazy, lazy, and you would recognize that anyone, of course.

“Are you drunk? Jason?”

You feel incredibly naked, even with your thick pajamas out; you’ve lived this out too many times, and you can almost see him climb your bed.

It’s been a long time since he’s done that, but it’s something you will always remember: the creaking of the wood, springs of the bed, rustling of sheets as he tossed sheets here and there all night.

(The stupid “I love you’s”, the lazy and very drunken make-outs, while groping each other).

“Jason, are you okay or not?”

I know you still think about the times we had

I say fuck that nigga that you think you found

And since you picked up, I know he's not around, oh oh

I'm just sayin' you could do better

 Cause even if those VERY BLURRY nights that you can’t almost remember were nice, there were also the others; those which kind of made you hold onto Dick tighter in bed, at dawn when he sneaked in, cold skin, occasionally bruised. He felt so precious and delicate under the first rays of sun, as his dreams started to die under his eyelids, barely any movement in his body save the soft breathing out of his mouth. Too precious, and too yours.

You loved him entirely and completely. He made you feel so happy you wanted to cry at times; there was nothing lacking, not the sex, not the affection.

 But Jason doesn’t think the same.

What about the rush, what about the times you’ve had?

“Why you pick up?” I know he’s not there, he implies, but doesn’t say. She knows too. “It’s late. Thought you were now reformed; no phone after 2AM or something like that, right?”

“Some of us have jobs. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fortune to fall back on”.

“Ouch.”

It’s very easy to just talk. They laugh, and she gets up on bed; Jason can picture her, duvet up to her chin, propping up her pillow (the best he’s had), to talk better, while still charging the phone. He hears the rustling on her side, meaning she’s staring at the side he used to sleep in. She always loved to sleep tucked into his chest.

“You still haven’t answered.”

“Right back at ya’. Are you okay?”

A really difficult question for a drunken and very honest man at 3AM in the morning.

If he was a better man, he would wish her a goodnight and hang up; no more talking, no more suggesting, no more playing with fire. If he was a better man, he probably wouldn’t be drunk-texting girls to “cheer him up” after this call, and he would just go home, sleep it off, and go at it again another night.

But he really is not, and it’s too late to go back now. That’s at least what he tells himself, what he tries to entitle himself into: he feels too much, he’s had it bad the last couple of weeks without you. So, he is owed that.

And that is his mistake, for no one is entitled to anything over anyone, no matter their own personal suffering.

“I guess.” Vague; but enough to let her get out, not dig in. Which is really a trap when he knows of your good nature, but he tells himself that it’s your choice (your fault!) for asking about it.

“That’s… Comforting, I guess. Friend calling at 3AM, probably lost and unaware of where he is right now, fucking drunk and in a completely safe neighborhood, I’m sure…”. There’s a sigh. He hates hearing you sigh; it’s always cause you’re so tired of him, he knows, he knows. And he hates himself for it, makes him feel so useless. “Just send me your location, I’ll guide you home.”

‘But aren’t you on Blüdhaven?’, he naïvely wants to ask, just to almost punch himself right after. She means the safe house or whatever place is near, that she might have still saved as her favorite or most usual locations at Gotham.

Tell me, have you heard that lately?

I'm just sayin' you could do better

And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

 “So, why you pick up?”, he asks again, just enough sober. His stomach is in knots from the alcohol (and not waiting for your answer, just hearing your voice and talking to you). He’s on a taxi, and the yellow lights on him are making him sleepy. “I answered.”

It’s 4.38AM. Sending a cab there was easy enough once you had his location and Jason swore he wasn’t moving anymore. Bless technology, you think to yourself now a bit irritated for wanting to sleep and not being able to. Your lids are heavy, and the sheets too soft.

“Obviously cause’ I’m an idiot who forgot to silence their phone.” It’s a half-joke. If you had done just like Dick had suggested, you would not be having that conversation. You change sides in your bed, now looking outside, to the window; Jason’s sigh is audible. You almost feel a heavy and ghostly arm bracing you from behind. “If the info is correct, you should be arriving home soon. Wanna hang up?”

“I miss you.”

A beat.

Breath knocked out of your lungs and silence only interrupted by your dramatic mouth breathing. You literally forgot to breathe; that’s how being with Jason used to make you feel.

As exciting and exhilarating every night out or in with him was, it was not good for you. The nights that were good, but the bad ones, really made your feel like shit. And if someone loves you, they will never hurt you. You know, you so know, how bad he’s had it: but that’s not an excuse for his shitty behavior, his stupid harmful jokes or the way he made you feel.

“Jason, it’s been a long week, I know.”

“No, I know, I know-I’m not-I’m not trying to-“. A sigh. His sighs always broke you: too tired, too broken. Jason always had a way with words, but you managed to sometimes kill that off too. “I don’t want to start out anything. I just want to say sorry. I wanted to, but I know-fuck, I really KNOW-“

“Don’t scream, please.” Firm. Cold.

He’s losing you.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.” He laughs; it’s self-deprecating and you hate it, but you really don’t have the energy right now. “I…”. Nothing comes out. There’s a long silence. Inhale, exhale (“Jason, just breathe, please”): “I love you. Probably more than I would ever admit to do, and you mean so much to me, but I fucked up big time. And I know, I know-” He emphasizes, without elevating his tone. “-I know you’re so happy with him, fuck! It’s disgusting. It’s fucking bizarre to see you two together.” Poison that he spits, that’s eating him out; acid destroying everything inside, every little nerve of sanity still inside. “And yet, I can’t stop-I really think I don’t want to stop thinking on whatever we had, on the kiss we shared-“

“Jay, that was not-“

“No, I know. I know, but we shared it, and it brought me memories, and you closed off! Fuck, I had you to myself, we were-fuck.”

He curses out for a bit. You let him vent, sighing and putting your hand over your eyes, as if to stop everything from happening. No more 3AM calls.

Had it been pretty shitty of you to get with his “brother”? Maybe, but it wasn’t on purpose or with a malicious intent. It really had been pure coincidence that you had hit if off on one of the galas where Jason stood you up, with a considerable hangover and too sick to move anywhere. That, with the argument you had been having more and more often… Jason wasn’t sure you were even going to show up, but there they had met, and he regrets it every day.

 (But sometimes…

 Sometimes they look so perfect that he thinks they might just have been destined to happen, one way or another. If it was not in a gala, maybe a rescue, maybe a touch on the street, a crush, a rude Gothamite exchange of words as you clashed onto each other.

 Whatever. It just happened and now you two were together.)

 “Jason, I was never… “Only yours” to have.”

“On that we can agree. We never really settled, and I didn’t ever treat you nice.”

Not like she wanted; he knew. They were just… Casual friends who fucked every two weeks, who occasionally kissed and got jealous over the other receiving attention from the opposite sex (sometimes same sex). Despite what everyone else thinks, he is quickly to see others social intentions; her whispers on his skin, the brightness on her eyes whenever they would do it with such intimacy, the cuddling… No, he knew, of course he did, that she wanted more.

Jason just wasn’t ready for it. He might never be, but it’s not your fault; never was, never will. And he might just have lost forever the one thing he wanted.

But that’s the thing: everyone wants the chocolate scoop. But what they might need for a change is something they’ve never tried before.

“I don’t know what you’re babbling on about ice cream, Jay. I really…”. She’s tired, he knows. From him, from Dick and his waiting (she never really liked him going on rounds); from just having to bear with all the weight of the world on her naked and frail shoulders. “It’s not the time for this conversation. Can we… Talk another time?”

A beat.

Inhale, exhale.

“Yeah.”. Tired, so tired. Lids closing off,. “I’m here anyways, so I’ll hang up…”. Silence; insufferable silence. He closes his eyes for a second. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too, Jason.”

He’s not there, but he will be soon. He hopes for that, at least; everything will be easier.

[cowbpy]

Witcher Fics I Want

this is jaskier x geralt by the way. i couldn't sleep so i came up with these instead.

Skating AU

Jaskier is a figure skater and Geralt is a hockey player. Geralt plays for “the Witchers”. The two groups fight for ice time a lot. 

High School Teachers AU

Jaskier teacher choir or art. Geralt teaches History or Chemistry. All their students call them mom and dad. Ciri is their favorite. She is too smart for her classes so she hangs out with them after school and during lunch. They are oblivious and ciri is like “omg just kiss already!”

Pride and Prejudice AU

Its just pride and prejudice, but Jaskier is Lizzie and Geralt is Darcy. Geralt is emotionally constipated and cant handle his feelings so hes a dick instead. Basically just follows the plot of the book/movie and geralt proposes and gets turned down until he fixes himself. Georgiana is ciri she helps geralt win back jaskier.

Princess Bride AU

Jaskier is Buttercup and Geralt is wesley. Follows the movie kinda. Geralt is “killed” by the witcher then comes back pretending to be that to save jaskier from marriage to a shitty prince (valdo marx???).

The Little Mermaid AU

Jaskier is Ariel and Geralt is Eric. Jaskier is a mermaid who loves to watch people but some drowners (or ther water monster idk) is in the area he likes to watch and geralt gets knocked out saving jaskier who in turn saves him. He makes a deal to give up his voice to have legs so he can travel with geralt. Yennefer is Ursula i guess,,, idk.

Aladdin AU

Jaskier is Jasmine and Geralt is Aladdin. Jaskier hates being stuck in the palace and having to act like a royal. He sneaks out and geralt helps him escape some guard so he can play his lute in a market or something. Geralt is in love but doesnt think a prince would fall for him so he uses a potion or magic or something (yennefer helps??) to change his hair color and disguise himself as a prince. Takes jaskier for a ride on roach idk.

Falsettos AU

This is based off of falsettos the musical. Geralt and Yen divorce and geralt leaves to live with jaskier, but hes still trying to have a relationship with ciri and yen. I think triss would be marvin cause gay is always better. This doesnt have to be an exact copy of the story, but just an inspiration.

Theater AU

This would just be a one shot lol. i just think it would be funny. Jaskier is the lead actor and geralt is on crew. thats it lol.

Coffee Shop AU

Jaskier works as a barista at a little cafe and falls for the guy (geralt) who always come in and sits in the corner reading and only orders a plain black coffee. Jaskier is a gay disaster and his coworkers know it.

Disney World AU

Geralt brings ciri to disney world for a weekend and Jaskier is playing her favorite prince (idk which one just pick) and they go and visit him everyday they go.

Drag Queen AU

Jaskier is a drag queen at a club (goes by dandelion or buttercup) and geralt is the bouncer/security. Someone gives jaskier a hard time outside f the club after closing and geralt saves him and walks him home.

Public Transport Musician AU

Geralt takes the subway everyday and jaskier is always playing in the station. One time he gets on the train with geralt and they talk. Jaskier shares that on weekends he plays at a club and geralt goes and sees him.

Self Defense Lessons AU

Jaskier moves to a big city or something and wants to take self defense lessons and geralt is the instructor. Jaskier can not handle geralt pinning him down and straddling him.

Neighbors AU

Jaskier and Geralt live next to eachother in an apartment building. Jaskier is always knocking and asking for extra flower or help fixing something. At first geralt hates it but it becomes endearing and then one day geralt asks jaskier for help with something and thats when they get together. Yen and Triss live across the hallway and laugh as it goes down.

Mandalorian/Star Wars AU

Geralt is apart of a bounty hunter clan (the mandalorians/witchers) and is supposed to find a child and deliver it to some bad people (its ciri/baby yoda) but doesnt and adopts her. Jaskier come in at some point idk how tho.

Gym Training AU

Trans!Jaskier wants to get buff so he passes better and gets trained by geralt. thats it.

Role Reversal AU

Jaskier is a witcher (he still has a smaller frame. I think hes more of an assassin and more stealth based.) and Geralt is a moody musician (i dont think he sings) Somehow geralt gets tied up with one of jaskiers hits and that how they end up travelling together. Jaskier is jealous that geralt is still huge and jacked despite being a musician.

Gender Bend AU

I just want a big muscly lesbian geralt. Jaskier is a cottage core lesbian. otherwise nothing changes.

You’ve Got Mail AU

Jaskier owns a smaller bookstore thats going to be swallowed up by witcher co. books. Just follows the movie plot. I read a really good youve got mail au fic a long time ago and i want more.

Fake Relationship AU

This is honestly my favorite au and ive yet to see it in the witcher fics. Jaskier lied to his family that hes in a relationship so that theyd stop trying to set him up, but they come to visit so he has to get Geralt to pretend to be his boyfriend. or Jaskier gets a chance to go to a resort or on a cruise and play for the guests but its a married couples only thing so he brings geralt along and they have to pretend to be a happy married couple. Triss and Yen are there and onto them the whole time.

Soulmate AU

i havent seen any witcher fics with a classic soulmate au. there is plenty to pick from. One could be matching birthmarks and jaskier ( or geralt) figures out that the other has the matching birthmark but is scared to tell cause “witchers cant feel”

Mechanic AU

Jaskier keeps “accidentally” breaking things so the hot mechanic will come fix it.

Circus AU

geralt is a strong man or “beast” tamer and jaskier is some artsy shit idk. Concept: jaskier is a trapeze artist and he sings while he does it so hes the “song bird”. Yen can be a fortune teller or some shit.

PLEASE let me know if you right a fic going off of these or if you find one similar to one of them that youd think id like. Im shit at writing myself, but im a pretty ok editor so let me know if you need a beta reader

[untilmynextstory]

Chapter 8: Family Recipe 

Eventually Jax was able to get Nathan to calm down. It was only after Nathan unleashed everything. Namely that he doesn't know when the abuse happened, in fact, he never saw a bruise on his mother, but he just knows Vitaly hurts her. Jax knows that the abuse doesn't even have to be physical, but mentality and emotionally.

It takes everything in his power to not storm to Alma's right now, but he has to be smart. He has to prepare for the worst. He can't just kill Vitaly. The man does have ties to the Russians and any blowback can land on Alma's doorstep.

Then there is the fact in separating Alma from her abuser. He has to be prepared that she won't want to leave. He needs to be prepared for her to fight him on everything.

He does his best to not even think about why Alma got herself in the situation. The anger doesn't lay on her. Now he knows why Alma wanted Nathan to move in with him. The abuse must have been escalating. He knew something was wrong. He should've pressed and pressed even if it would have pissed her off.

Jax walks over to the end table and grabs some stationary. He writes a short and coded message to Lenny to see if he could give him some basic info on Vitaly and his schedule. He knows he can't just show up to Alma's place of work. He wouldn't be surprised if the man kept eyes on Alma while he was away. He needs to be careful.

.

.

.

Alma feels Vitaly only did what he did to ruin her Thanksgiving. After all, he had left promptly three days after his parting gift for a business trip that would leave him gone for three weeks. It would have him back in town just for Christmas. She has a feeling that he may try to ruin that for her as well. She already plans to leave for Christmas early. Nathan has most of December off and since she missed Thanksgiving she can make it up to him by arriving a week or two earlier.

She knows she put Nathan through a lot of worry those two days he couldn't reach her. Vitaly did smash her phone during his fit of rage. She had been able to easily explain that to Nathan, who had demanded a video call, when she was able to get a hold of him.

She hated to see the utter look of relief on his face. It was like he knew something had gone wrong. She had tried to shield him from the decline of her second marriage. She should've gotten out the first time Vitaly ever raised his hand to her, but she didn't. She stayed. She stayed and she didn't even know why she did.

She thinks maybe she didn't want another failed marriage under her belt. She didn't want to admit that she let herself into the situation. She got herself trapped. Maybe, just maybe, it had to do with she didn't want for anyone to know she got herself in this situation. She didn't want to go crawling back to Charming - back to Jax. She didn't want the stares of pity. She wanted to show people that she could move on from the Life she had in Charming.

She also didn't want Jax to go to jail for murdering Vitaly. She knows it would get to that point. Her ex husband was a very smart man, but at the same time,if pushed he shoots first and thinks later. She knows he would not let Vitaly get away with putting his hands on her.

She is just grateful Vitaly never targeted her son. During his rages, he always insults Jax. She ignores them mostly. They seem to stem from a place of jealousy. It makes her wonder if he knew what she had done with Jax on their wedding night.

Alma had always carried so much guilt from that night. She was truly disgusted with herself. What woman cheats on their future husband on their wedding day. She carried that guilt for months until Vitaly's real side began to show. Hell, she even had a pregnancy scare. She didn't know how she was going to explain that to Vitaly. He had made it very clear he didn't want kids. Although, she had found out by accident that he couldn't have kids.

She prayed to god everyday that Jax didn't manage to knock her up again. She didn't even know how she would have managed to make a good lie for that one. She knows deep down what she would've done if she had been pregnant. She didn't know if she could live with that. She probably would've chickened out and would have to manage the embarrassment of running back to Charming with her tail tucked between her legs.

Now, she doesn't feel guilty. It was the last time she truly felt loved from anybody in that way. Maybe she shouldn't have let her mother push her into this marriage. For the first time she ever really listened to her mother she ends up being a victim of domestic violence.

Alma shakes her head. She is not going to blame her mother. She made the choice to continue seeing Vitaly. She accepted the marriage proposal.

Alma sighs as she opens one of the many boxes of decorations for Christmas. This is the first year she will be decorating without Nathan's help. This house is much larger than her two previous homes. The one thing she misses is all the homemade decorations Nathan and Kaylee made. She had left those in Charming. Alot of Kaylee's things were still in Charming.

She is glad because she has a feeling Vitaly's anger might escalate to destroy any connection she has to Charming and Jax.

Alma goes to her record player and puts on some Marvin Gaye and pours herself a glass of wine and begins to decorate. She has been decorating for only about 30 minutes when the doorbell goes off. She frowns as she wasn't expecting anyone. She's never expecting anyone now that Nathan isn't home. There is also the fact that she didn't bother concealing the bruises on her body. She grabs a throw blanket to wrap around her body to hide the bruises on her arms. She can't do much to hide the bruise on her cheek. She peeks through the side window and she stiffens in surprise to find Jax on the other side of the door.

She knows if anything was wrong with Nathan he would've called. The only reason he would come down if it was about Nathan, but she knows he would've called beforehand. She knows this because she is pretty sure he doesn't want to be in the same room as Vitaly. She knows there is no use in trying to act like she isn't home.

She unlocks the dead bolt, but doesn't open the door all the way. She hides half her body from Jax.

"I can admit I am surprised to see you on my doorstep," Alma greets with.

"I can say the same." He replies.

She watches as his eyes narrow at her presence. She takes in his appearance. He isn't wearing his kutte and he doesn't have his bike. She notices his truck parked in her driveway. He is practically incognito.

"What are you doing here, Jax?"

"You going to let me in?"

Alma takes a deep breath and she opens the door wider to let him in her house. He steps in and she closes the door behind her. She takes a deep breath. He knows.

"We need to talk, darlin'," Jax tells her.

Alma nods her head and she leads him through the living room. She knows he doesn't care for a tour of her house.

She leads him to the couch where he sits down and she sits in the lounge chair opposite from him.

He doesn't say anything for a couple minutes. In fact, he doesn't even look at her as he seems to take in the world she lives in. He takes a deep breath and leans forward to rest his elbow on his legs.

"Instead of coming back to my bed, you married a sick fuck that beats you. You let Nathan witness that shit." Jax starts. He doesn't beat around the bush. He gets straight to the point of why he drove down here.

"Nathan was never in any danger."

"Jesus Christ, Alma, that isn't the point." He snaps and looks her in the eyes. His eyes focus on her bruised cheek. The point is that she is in danger. It's a truth that goes unsaid.

"I can't leave him, Jax."

"The hell you can't. I will drag you out kicking and screaming if I have too."

Alma runs her hands down her face. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Let me see it."

"See what?"

"I can see that nice shiner on your face. Let me see the rest." He demands.

Alma pulls the blanket around her tighter. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but you need to go."

"Nah, I'm not leaving until I know you're getting out of this."

"Jax, I'm not your wife or old lady anymore. I'm not your concern."

"You're the mother of my children. You think I am going to go back to Charming knowing you're getting fucking beat. Do you think I can go home to our son and tell him 'hey I left your mother to get fucking beat'." Jax spits back. "Is that why you wanted him to live with me? You were scared Vitaly would take his attention to Nathan."

"I got Nathan out, Jax. That is all that matters right now."

"Do you even hear yourself, right now?" Jax asks in disbelief. "What the fuck happened to you, Alma?"

Alma snaps her head up. "What happened to me?" The laugh that escapes her lips is far from humorous. "How about the fact I had to grieve the loss of two children and my ex-husband decides to bury his grief in another pussy that isn't mine. Then a woman comes along claiming to be pregnant by him. How about the fact you humiliated me in Charming with the croweaters and pornstars leaving me to grieve all alone and taking care of the only child we had left alive. So excuse me while I tried to mend the pieces of me you fucking tore apart led me to fucking Vitaly."

Jax falls to his knees and his hands frame her face. Alma tries to turn away from him, but he forces her to look into his blue eyes.

"Alma, please…"

Alma doesn't know exactly what he is begging for. Does he want forgiveness, for her to leave Vitaly, for her to come back to Charming?

"Did he threaten me and the club?" Jax asks softly.

"I don't want you or Nathan to get hurt, Jax."

"Don't worry about the club. Don't worry about me."

"Easier said than done." Alma tells him weakly with a smile.

Jax smiles. "I know. I know." He brings his forehead down to hers. "You gotta come home, Alma."

Alma doesn't respond because she knows her answer won't please Jax. She thinks Jax must sense what she is thinking he pulls back from her and opens his mouth. She distracts him as she presses her lips against his. He is startled and he falls back. Alma takes advantage of his surprise as she straddles his hips. Her blanket falls off her shoulders and she meets Jax lips again into a burning kiss.

She thinks she has Jax distracted. He moans against her lips as she grinds down on him. A part of her missed this. She misses Jax and the feel of him against her, inside her. She leans down fully against him as she begins grinding against him. She won't feel guilty this time. After all, she can't remember the last time she has actually enjoyed sex. However, Jax's hands grip her hips and she winces as it presses against a tender bruise.

Jax notices the reaction immediately and pulls away from her and leans up. Lips already swollen, pupils dilated, Jax sucks in a breath as he takes in the damage.

Her arms are littered with Vitaly's fingerprints. She doesn't stop Jax when he lifts up his tank and sees the splotchy bruise on her hip from when she was pushed hard into the corner of the dresser in the bedroom. She had been worried about internal bleeding due to the pain she has been feeling for days.

"Al -"

She pushes his hands away and goes back to meet his lips, but he stops her. "Jax, please -"

"You're not coming back after Christmas." He tells her. "I'm not arguing with you about it."

Alma licks her lips. She closes her eyes and nods her head.

Jax sighs in relief and wraps his arms around her. Alma can't help the tears that begin to fall.

.

.

.

Jax is anxious. He has been since he had gone and seen Alma two weeks ago. She is supposed to arrive in a couple days. She had informed him that she planned to come down for Christmas early to begin with. His only comfort was that Vitaly was out on business. Alma would be left alone. She wouldn't see him unless he came down in Charming once he realized Alma wasn't coming back. Despite her assurance that she was leaving and would stay in Charming, it didn't stop the bad feeling in his gut.

It didn't stop him from feeling as if something was going to go wrong. It was hard leaving with the knowledge that Alma was in an abusive marriage. It hurts to know that he was the one that fucked up and it led her to that man's arms. Jax thinks he might hate himself a bit.

He knows Nathan didn't have any comfort either. In fact, Nathan has been calling or texting Alma every day since he came back from his trip to Alma's. Jax thinks he is just lucky the visit managed to slip the radar of his club and mother. They could deal with everything including people knowing the sliver of the truth once Alma was here permanently.

The one thing that was on replay in Jax's mind was the kiss. He knows it was stupid of him to even get partially distracted. Alma was doing it as a means to distract him. He was tempted and it probably would've gone further until he would have seen the damage Vitaly had done to her.

He did cry when he came back to Charming. It hurts to know that she's been dealing with this practically her whole marriage. Jax isn't blind to the fact that in this life men have shown physical dominance over their old ladies and women. Yet, Jax never took on that view. It disgusts him frankly. He even regrets what he had done to Ima. After all, it was his mistake for sleeping with Ima. It all landed on him for inviting Ima into his marriage. After Alma left him, he did apologize to the blond and managed to get her behind the camera as penance.

Even then he has witnessed a few slaps from the guys with the women, but Vitaly is fucking beating her. He knows Alma had to be in pain.

Jax thinks they need to figure out how to handle any potential blowback from the Russians. He doesn't think they would care, but Vitaly could be petty. He was surprised that the Russians did not care about any domestic situations.

Jax feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and he pulls it out and squints at the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Jackson Teller?" A polite, feminine voice asked.

"Who's asking?"

"My name is Lisa. I'm a nurse at St. Vincent's hospital. You're listed as Alma Petrova's emergency."

"Is she okay? Is she alright?"

"She's stable and sedated, but it's best you come down here."

[whizzer-fashion]

Iced Vanilla Latte With Two Pumps Of Caramel

AO3 LINK

Even though Marvin always acted as though he hated his job and would never turn down an opportunity to rant about it, he had to admit, at least to himself, that it was quite nice most of the time. There weren't that many people most of the time, and even when there was it wasn't as bad as he made it sound. He used most of the time to talk to his two best friends Trina and Charlotte and do homework.

So yeah if he was honest with himself he had a pretty great job, just not today…

He was looking at the boy putting down his tote bag while smiling big at the girl with the big curls he often came in with.

He had thought for a long time that they were together until he had heard the guy or “Whizzer” as he got scribbled on his large vanilla ice-coffee with two pumps of caramel, complain about some guy “cof boy” oblivious being straight.

Even though Marvin always acted as though he hated his job and would never turn down an opportunity to rant about it, he had to admit, at least to himself, that it was quite nice most of the time.

There weren't that many people most of the time, and even when there was it wasn't as bad as he made it sound.

He used most of the time to talk to his two best friends Trina and Charlotte and do homework. 

So yeah if he was honest with himself he had a pretty great job, just not today…

He was looking at the boy putting down his tote bag while smiling big at the girl with the big curls he often came in with.

He had thought for a long time that they were together until he had heard the guy or “ Whizzer ” as he got scribbled on his large vanilla ice-coffee with two pumps of caramel, complain about some guy “cof boy” oblivious being straight. 

Whizzer, it had to be a fake name right? 

A nickname or just a name that he gave to places like this to get a laugh?

No parent in their right mind would name their child after a cartoon sound, right?

Yeah, Marvin had a lot of questions this early February morning. 

But the most pressing one was WHAT THE FUCK WAS WHIZZER DOING AT THE COFFEE SHOP TODAY!? 

The pretty, tall boy with the gorgeous hair and the most adorable smile in probably the whole world, never came in here on weekdays he came in once a week, every Sunday morning at 7:45 am. 

Of course, Marvin didn't have a problem with this, that would be completely ridiculous. The guy was just a customer, nothing more, he was certainly not the only good thing with the early Sunday shift that he was permanently assigned, and he was certainly not Marvins type, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Okay so maybe this was a problem, he normally spent the whole morning before he arrived preparing himself for Whizzer to walk through those doors.

Whizzer shook his head at the girl while laughing before walking up to the register, Marvin was still spellbound by the sound of his laugh when he reached him. 

“Hi, How may I help you today?” they didn't actually have to say stuff like that to the customer, but it helped him when talking to Whizzer, Charlotte gave him a weird look, she doesn’t have the Sunday opening shift and wasn’t used to seeing him like this.

“Hi” queue that adorably smile “can I get a large Iced vanilla latte with two pumps of caramel and a medium normal caramel latte for Whizzer? Thank you.” Marvin thought that he could have asked for the moon and Marvin would probably have gotten it for him if just he promised to smile at him like that again. Not that he had stoped that was the thing with Whizzer he never seemed to stop smiling at Marvin he probably never stopped smiling at anyone but that included Marvin and he was eternally grateful for that.

“Of course that will be 11 dollars” Marvin could reenact this interaction in his sleep, he had thought enough about this small interaction to have had it memorized for about 2 months now. 

Whizzer swiped his card, dug his hands down into his jacket pocket, fished some pocket change out and dumped them into the tip jar, gave an extra smile before he turned around and found his way back to his friend.

Marv again tried to convince himself that he was fine with Whizzer being here a day when he wasn’t supposed to and began scribbling down the orders on the cups, not that he needed to he could with ease remember them at this point, but it wouldn’t hurt to keep the elusion for Whizzer.

he was supposed to pass the cups on to Charlotte but she was doing homework and there weren’t any other customers than Whizzer and Cor-something, he hadn’t been as captivated by her. She was pretty even Marvin could see that, but he had probably been a little distracted by her friend.

He looked over at their table to see Whizzer laughing and the girl blushing she looked at Charlotte and then backed at Whizzer and started to lecture him on something, but she kept stealing glances at Charlotte,

oh of course!

He went over to the coffee machine, this place wasn’t really a real coffee shop per se, they didn’t make fresh coffee they just had a big complicated coffee machine, he put Whizzers cup in first and began pressing his order in, he leaned over to Charlotte and casual said “I think the girl at the table with boy likes you” Charlotte head whipped up, she looked over the bar and at table “no way” Marvin rolled his eyes “yes way, you should go say hi!” Charlotte laughed “NO WAY MARV!” she realized how loud she had been, and hurriedly looked back at her book.

Marvin chuckled and took the now two finished cups of coffee and was just about to carry them over to the table when he got an idea. Even though would never be able to get with Whizzer didn’t mean that Charlotte didn’t deserve a happy ending.

Marvin turned back to Charlotte “do you like her?” he asked her, she looked up at him like he had just asked her if he could live without oxygen “I don’t know her, but if you’re asking me if I find her attractive then yes.” Marv nodded waited to she was looking down again then he took one of the order notes and wrote Charlotte’s number down.

If it failed he could just say it was revenge for her refusing to take his shift the last time when he been hungover.

He then began his journey over to the table, as he was nearing, he couldn’t help but overhear a little bit of their conversation “I’m only asking her if you finally ask cof boy out” “that’s not fair she literally is in the LGBT club and he’s straight”.

Whizzer saw Marvin nearing their table and promptly shut up, and was that a blush? No, it must just have been from the cold it was February after all. “Here you go a vanilla ice coffee with two pumps of caramel and a caramel latte” he placed the coffee down in front of their respective owners and then turned towards the girl he didn’t want to even look at Whizzer while doing this, “and a phone number from my coworker, whos too embarrassed to look up from her book”

He gave her a smile and was about turn around and go back to the bar and try desperately to not lose the battle between his eyes and Whizzes body when he heard Whizzer clear his throat he turned around to look at the pretty boy, “I’m sorry this is probably the last thing you want to be asked right now, and you’re probably not interested and this is really stupid-” the girl decided to help her friend out “he wants to know if you would be interested to go out with him, he has the biggest crush on you ever” Marvin’s brain was in shock and Whizzers finally seemed to stop being in shock because he exclaimed “Cordelia!” and looked at her like she had just said that he had been planning to use a time machine and join Hitler under the 2 world war, he then looked panicked back at Marvin “you really don't have to! And I get that you’re probably straight and I completely get it don’t worry, you don’t even have to answer you can just walk away and I promise to never step into this coffee shop again.”

this somehow made Marvins brain restart again bc he began to blush deep, “I would love to.” was what he finally interrupted Whizzer with. “Wait really” Whizzer sounded so soft and shocked like he was afraid that he would ruin it if he was too loud. “Yeah” Marvin took an order note from his pocket and in a kinda trance wrote down “pls call me -Marvin” and scribbled his number under it, he gave it to Whizzer, smiled at him and walked back to the bar.

He was still trying to figure out what had happened, he looked over at Whizzer and it seemed he was trying to do the same, Whizzer was sitting there with that smile of his looking at the paper, while the girl Cordelia was giggling. 

Charlotte looked at him like he was crazy for the third time that day “are you okay there  Marv?” he turned and smiled at her “I just got us a date”.

[spiltscribbles]

for the fic title thing : “ I’m sorry I had to leave you”

Notes: TYSM for the prompt bb! 

.-

Send Me A Prompt Or Fake Title

.-

The first time he kisses a boy Whizzer’s sixteen and starry eyed over the baseball team captain who smiles at him with adoration and shyly brushes their hands against one another in the safety of Whizzer’s own home while they’re working on a shared Biology project—soft and questioning. 

Whizzer somehow recognized the hints, thinks that people like them just find one another, that it might be some sort of means of survival. So he’s tactful when he responds with the same intent, is shocked when the other boy takes the hint and runs with it, leaning forwards and slotting their lips together, feverish and excited.

Sometimes Whizzer feels robbed of the moment— the first time he kisses someone with any meaning behind it— but other times Whizzer is perfectly content. 

It was kind of rough and more than a bit desperate, but Whizzer didn’t mind. He liked the fact that this boy—All American jock with a crooked smile and pretty, blue eyes— wants him. All Whizzer could think, elated and gleeful, is that he’s not some abnormal freak for not wanting to take off Mindy Mendes’s bra last weekend in the backseat of her Dad’s Lincoln, because this epitome of American idealism is attracted to Whizzer in the same ways that Whizzer is him.       

This is normal and he doesn’t have to hide his truth, it’s fine, he’s fine.

.-

It’s a week subsequent to their first kiss when that same All American jock punches him square in the jaw when he thought one of his pinhead friends had seen them getting too close for comfort. 

He tried apologizing that night, had brought Whizzer a joint to smoke  and box of chocolates to share. His big blue eyes were pleading, and borderline terrified— terrified of what Whizzer knew, of what he could do. But Whizzer doesn’t bother to play out some stupid fucking tableau of being the sheltered gay kid pining for the perfect boy who thinks that coming out is akin to admitting a murder— love isn’t a fucking crime.  So he just plucks the joint out of his hand, leisurely pops a toffy filled piece of chocolate into his mouth and tells’m that he won’t ever tell anyone what he knows, what they’ve done, but he also never wants to fucking see him again and he needs to get the fuck out of his driveway. 

“Whizzer, please—“ He tries to argue, face scrunched and eyes shining with wetness. 

“You come near me again and I’ll report that this lovely shiner was your doing, got it?”

He parts his lips again, probably another apology. Probably trying to ask if there’s somehow  anyway   that they could continue this tentative little flame they’ve been tending. But Whizzer doesn’t spare him another moment, just slams the door shut and pads off to the kitchen to get some snacks ready for his impending munchies. 

He tells himself that he won’t ever be someone’s dirty little secret. 

.-

He has three, long term, boyfriends in the span of  a decade… Before him. And a hole lot of one night stands sprinkled between.

Whizzer was sure that his first boyfriend was gonna be the one he would marry. Hemet’m at the LGBTQ club Whizzer’s sophomore year and his senior. His name was Juan and he was dorky in the most endearing of ways. He treated Whizzer like he was the most treasured part of his world, and was there for him  when Whizzer came out to his parents. 

Juan was everything for so long, which only made  Whizzer feel even more  guilty as hell when he woke up one morning leading up to their one year anniversary, and he suddenly felt nothing. 

.-

The second boy that Whizzer actually dates— and not just someone who he spends frequent, late night hookups with—is one of those in-between people. He met him his first week in New York. He was very pretty, and occasionally a bit to kind for Whizzer’s liking. He ran a non prophet that helped find homes for the homeless. He was brilliant and compassionate and they agreed on so many things, both politically and morally. And Whizzer thinks that he loved him, isn’t sure he was in love with him, but he’s always loved him for all the six months they were together. 

He’s kind of ashamed to admit it, feels bad even now, but in the intersect of them growing apart, and finally calling it quits, Whizzer meets someone else. 

He’s older than him by a decade or so. Dark hair beginning to pepper, and wrinkles surrounding his pale eyes. He kisses Whizzer hungrily, and buys him fancy dinner and flashy rolexes that his measly salary as a free lance journalist  could’ve never afforded. But best of all he never tried holding him down. Didn’t care how or with who he spent his days as long as he was there, sitting pretty, when he needed a date to show off in front of his colleagues. 

Whizzer was perfectly fine being a vapid, unattached trophy for someone he never had a chance in hell loving.

“Doesn’t it feel sleazy?” Cordelia asks with an owlish blink to her big pale eyes, in the midst of wrapping up the desserts she’s just finished baking for another bar mitzvah she’s catering. “This guy obviously doesn’t care about you.”

“I don’t care bout him either,” Whizzer shrugs, noncommittal before tossing another almond in his mouth. “I like the freedom of it Lia.”

She continues to frown, almost sympathetic.

And he knows, God does Whizzer know. He promised himself that this would never happen, that he’d never let himself fill this role. He knows that this’s the exact opposite of what he should be doing, but a part of him just doesn’t care anymore. Whizzer’s proud and loud, he’s gone to every Gay Pride Parade he’s been able to. He makes it a point to hold the hands of his dates in public, and to sneer at anyone raucously spewing slurs their way. And yeah, it’s gonna suck not being able to do that anymore, but also, this bloke likes Whizzer and buys him such wonderfully superfluous gifts and isn’t that the most important part?

.-

When he meets Marvin everything kind of comes to a halt. Whizzer doesn’t know what it is, what it’s going to be. 

It’s at Cordelia and Charlotte’s  housewarming party, showing off how great their lives are, which Charlotte quite blatantly says a whole slew of times. “I get to save lives and love you.”

Cordelia had giggled and kissed her lovingly at that, and Whizzer only kinda felt wistful towards it.

Apparently Marvin’s an old college friend of Charlotte, and god damn Whizzer really should’ve been made privy to which ever university they had attended for New York’s prettiest and brightest. It might’ve inspired Whizzer enough to actually pursue higher education.

Marvin’s the one that introduces himself to him, bright eyed and deliciously athletic looking, and Whizzer doesn’t mind the fact that he spent the rest of that night lost in his orbit. 

It’s around one in the morning, the party is still in full swing, but the pair of them sneak off to a spare room after Marvin had clumsily spilled. They’re laughing about something they wouldn’t be laughing at if they were teetering even slightly more on the sober end of things. 

“I like your hair,” Marvin muses, carding a hand through Whizzer’s curls.

“Was born with it,” Whizzer hiccups, which makes Marvin start to laugh again, Whizzer gets the feeling that Marvin ordinarily doesn’t let himself act so uninhibited and careless.

They lean against one another, weak and bumbling. When they somehow collapse onto the bed that static passes— the one that Whizzer knows too well, has experienced literal countless times before, and only very rarely in an actual bed.

Marvin’s gazing at him, thin lips curved into a delighted smile. And God, Whizzer can’t help to liken him to the stars back then,  think he’s got some of that old Hollywood swagger in him, even if it’s a trite point, but still. Marvin’s beautiful and he laughs at Whizzer’s jokes and he’s actually here in his bed. And this is like a sensory overload with Marvin’s hot wisps of breaths skirting against Whizzer’s lips and his hand still scratching his scalp, and his eyes are boring into Whizzer’s.

Marvin moves forward to kiss him full on the mouth, But Whizzer can’t help but stutter back.

“Are you even gay?”

Marvin, effortlessly cool, just shrugs one of his broad shoulders.

“I don’t like labels.”

Whizzer can’t help but snort.

“That is the douchiest thing you could’ve said, you know that right?”

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Marvin counters.

“Oh no, no, no you beautiful, angel looking fool. It most definitely was. Hell, I would’ve even  excepted you borrowing the quintessential Fuckboy mantra of     not for tonight, over that crap.”

Marvin dissolves back into giggles, and Whizzer hates how endearing he finds it.

“Will you just let me kiss you, please?”

And well, it’s not as if Whizzer could ever deny that.

Whizzer dips down and kisses Marvin within an inch of his life, and it’s all the brilliant things people wax poetic about in storybooks and fairytales. 

.-

Whizzer loves New York, loves how the freedom and liberation of it can seep in your bones and make you think that life is as open and wonderful as it is here, for everyone     across the globe. 

Whizzer thinks of the nonconforming nature of the folks in Tribeca. Of the history in Stonewall, of how he was a pilgrim from Nebraska trying to find purpose and acceptance in this world and found it in the most beautiful city in the world. Thinks he’s so proud to have adopted this place, how he loves it so.

Begrudgingly, Whizzer likes New York even more when he gets to wake up and find Marvin— who’s never fully— mind body and soul— in one place for a very long time,  besides him. When he gets to watch how the early morning light kisses the tops of his sharp cheekbones, dancing across the muscles of his bare back and making it look like he’s got on a dark halo. 

He’s beautiful, he’s always been beautiful. Whizzer’s never thought otherwise even when he thought he was being borderline cruel sometimes. They were perfect for one another in that sense. Marvin’s got silver tipped words and a cynical streak that Whizzer’s known for, and makes him laugh and blush (whether out of fury or amusement)  in equal measures.

He’s kind of perfect, would be if it weren’t for everything else. If it weren’t for the fact he had a wife and kid back home in Manhattan. If it weren’t for how little he thought when he spewed out cruel words in their more heated disagreements. Would be if he had just let go of his stupid little folly of having a perfect family while getting to screw who he really wants in the background, like some fucked version of family values. God if he was only as decisive as he claimed to be  besotted by Whizzer.

But no, that’s unfair. Despite it all, Trina— an open faced, kind hearted woman— is his wife, and if there’s a single thing Whizzer knows about Marvin it’s that he loves his son, that he’d do anything to make sure Jason got what he needed. Even if it was playing out some tableau of a sham of a marriage.

“If I get up, will you still be mad at me?” Marvin says in a rasp, voice still groggy from just waking.

Part of Whizzer wants to make a jab at how his dick must’ve took a number on Marvin’s throat last night, most of him wants to ask Marvin where Trina thinks he is.

Whizzer does neither.

“Dunno,” he averts his gaze, still indignant. “Does it really matter if I was? ’S not like I’m your problem or anything?”

Marvin winces, but Whizzer just gets up, doesn’t want to have this conversation now. He wants everything to be light and easy and he wants them to go hiking as planned and then out to lunch with the lesbians next door and just do all the things they were suppose to. He doesn’t want to have this conversation now, and doesn’t want to hear Marvin’s excuses, doesn’t think he can handle it.

“Whizzer, he says, pleading. He doesn’t say sweetheart, that’s for soft moments between them in the middle of the night, or when he’s feeling particularly playful. This right now, this is neither. 

“I’ve gotta take the dog     out for a walk.”

“Whizzer, don’t be like this.” He doesn’t say it cruelly in Marvin standards, but it makes Whizzer angry all the same.

“Be like  what!” He pivots around, fists clenched and scowl melted onto his features. 

“You knew my prerogative from the start! I’m a father-“

“And I’m a fucking person! People get hurt when the person their in love with, the person they’ve spent literal months of their lives  with! Goes ahead and belittles all they have, making it seem like we’re shit.”

Marvin’s face goes pained, he steps closer to Whizzer, hands outstretched and open, helpless looking. 

Whizzer doesn’t let him apologize again, because he’s right. Whizzer knew how Marvin viewed this relationship. How Whizzer’s nothing more than a side piece to Marvin’s tight nit family. Whizzer knows it, had known it. He was perfectly fine with it because he’s never been the settling down type, never had a monogamous relationship for longer than a few weeks. 

Whizzer knew all of Marvin’s hangups  and he thought that he could’ve handle it. Whizzer was accustomed in having a relationship without anyone else really knowing about it. He thought he could do that with Marvin, but then he fell in love with Marvin in ways he never had been before— he gave Marvin pieces of himself that he never gave to anyone else. So yeah, it hurts like hell when Marvin says shit like he wouldn’t consider them parters. 

It makes Whizzer immeasurably mad and frustrated, especially when he has the nagging suspicion that he wouldn’t be this steadfast about staying with Trina  if it were a woman he was in love with over Whizzer being a gay dude. 

“Sweetheart, Whizzer. Please, just tell me what I can do. I’m sorry, but I just don’t know what to do here.” Marvin sounds desperate, looks even more so as he interlaces their hands together, shaking and unsure.

“I think we should take a break.” Whizzer doesn’t know where the idea came from, but it feels right, even if it hurts him like nothing else seeing Marvin’s face crumple and the light in his pretty eyes flicker out.

.-

It’s almost a year since their break was made official. 

Whizzer’s gotten a promotion, works at a magazine where he gets to travel all over the states to take photos of different festivals and landmarks and people, while getting paid for it. He gets to sleep with men from all walks of life, and it’s fun, and it’s free and there’s no heaviness to his heart— at least, not when he’s distracting himself from thoughts of Marvin’s half grin or his well built arms. How even the most drab outfits looked glorious on his Greek god body.

He still keeps in touch with Cordelia, is ecstatic when he finds out that Charlotte had proposed. And sometimes, if she slips in little details about Marvin, Whizzer isn’t upset.

“He looks sad, sadder than usual, ever since you left,” Cordelia had told him through the line, and Whizzer can practically see her twisting her fingers through the chord.

“I’m sad too Lia,” Whizzer admits in one of his sparing moments of raw honesty.

“Then come home Whizzer, we miss you. Marvin misses you, it’s not as if he’s been taken by any other fella.”

Whizzer can practically hear his lofty voice sniffing that it’s simply pointless because he loves Whizzer, knows that they’re the endgame, even if he’s married to another. 

Whenever he said that— in the all too frequent conversations they’ve actually held in the past two years—  Whizzer always wanted to just scream at him for not being as confident when they were together. For not taking a fucking stand.  But then again, it’s not as if they were ever not together either…

They still called one another  at least once a week, exchanging stories and bouncing banter while Marvin sifted through whatever paperwork he still had to get done, and Whizzer was cooking himself a meal. The way they use to while playing chess after a particularly long day. Cordelia and Charlotte  still contacted Whizzer on a daily basis, still expected him to join them for the holidays that year, of course along with Marvin. Whizzer still checked up on Marvin, made sure that he wasn’t over working himself and was keeping up  a normal persons diet. Reminded him that he never had to prove anything to anyone, that he was always amazing. And if they were in the same city by circumstance, they still kissed and fucked and clung onto one another like the world depended  on it. 

Whizzer would’ve never been able to let go of him, if even partly.

.-

It’s Jason’s Bar Mitzvah.

Somehow, someway, Whizzer’s here.

He knows that the real reason is because Jason had actually been quite taken with Whizzer when they were all playing the ploy that Whizzer was still only Marvin’s friend from work. But a part of Whizzer likes to think that it was also partially because Marvin missed his face.

After hours of dancing and laughing and trying his hardest to avoid Trina’s far too introspective gaze, Whizzer’s finally sitting down for a break.

“Whizzer, You made it!” Marvin crows, collecting him in his arms for a far too friendly hug, as if Marvin paid no mind to the array of spectators surrounding them and the rumors they could stir up.

“Of course,” Whizzer responded, squeezing him tight before abruptly letting go. “I love Jason, so I’m here.”

“You’re here,” Marvin beams with the same glee from before coloring his baritone.

“I’m here,” Whizzer repeats, voice thick with an emotion he can’t parse out. “Oh erm, Have Charlotte or Cordelia caught you yet? They wanted your opinion on the hors d’oeuvres.”  

Marvin shakes his head, eyes glimmering with mirth, before he retorts.

 “I just want to be with you if that’s alright?”

It feels like something completely wonderful is blooming deep in Whizzer’s chest, god please don’t let him make the same mistake.

“Yeah, yeah of course. That’s alright.”

.-

For the umpteenth time in their relationship  they end the night in some bedroom, with their all too eager  hands padding up and down one another’s bodies, and exchanging kisses that taste like lilac skies and promises meant to be kept. 

Whizzer pulls back to shed off his shirt, blushes at the unguarded, vulnerable way Marvin’s gazing at him. 

“I love you.”

“Love you too,” Whizzer echoes, because that was something else they never quit during this little break of theirs. “Now you really wanna keep talking or…?”

“Whizzer, I love you,” Marvin repeats, more urgent and voice shed of all it’s familiar lilts. He grabs for Whizzer’s hand and squeezes tight. “I love you and I want everyone to know that you’re mine.”

It feels like Whizzer’s stomach falls out, and his heart contracts.

“What does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” Marvin tells him, determined. 

“That’s not much of an answer.” Whizzer points out.

“I’ve left my wife, I’ve left for you. We’re getting a divorce.”

“What,” Whizzer marvels, but doesn’t let Marvin explain it any further. He kisses him again, and again and again.

Yeah maybe that proclamation doesn’t answer all the unknowns, but it’s enough. 

They’re still both too stubborn for their own good. Marvin can be a pompous ass and Whizzer to detached. But Marvin’s here, and Whizzer loves him more than he knows what to do with most days.

That’s enough.

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The best songs of the 2010s: #25-1

#25: “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott feat. Drake (2018)

When music historians look at hip-hop’s late-’10s dominance, I have no doubt that “SICKO MODE” will be viewed as the pinnacle of the era.

Let’s just go through a checklist of what makes “SICKO MODE” an instant classic: The weirdo multi-part structure. Travis Scott’s nearly two-minute long verse with quotable lines galore. Drake somehow managing to make falling asleep on an airplane sound cool. That spooky two-word Swae Lee refrain. Multiple Jamba Juice name-drops (inspiring a hilarious meme video). An iconic, striking music video with whacked-out imagery galore. 

But most importantly, it’s a stone-cold banger that will get any dance floor moving. What more could you want? 

#24: “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem (2010)

You might have noticed that one of the decade’s biggest musical trends — EDM — hasn’t shown up much on this list. That’s because a majority of it has already aged badly, even just a few years later. Songs like “Don’t You Worry Child” or “Wake Me Up!” certainly have their charms, but unlike the more enjoyable, trashy electropop that preceded it, most EDM hits were plodding and self-serious. And its best artist, Calvin Harris, made his best work when he drifted away from the subgenre’s rigid structure and just made pure pop music.

But my passiveness towards EDM doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a great drop. There’s been plenty of songs on the list with incredible drops up to this point, and there’s still a couple more to come. Hell, I even halfway considered putting some Skrillex on the list just because some of his early stuff still can get your pulse pounding (even if these songs REEK of the early 10s). But there will never be a drop more bonkers than “Dance Yrself Clean.”

Indie legends LCD Soundsystem kicked off the decade with a bang with this song — but they made you wait for that bang. More than three minutes, to be exact. But those who were patient enough to sit through the quiet, drawn-out opening were treated to frontman James Murphy wailing like a madman over a shuffling beat, bouncy bass and a cascading, randomized symphony of analog synthesizers. Although I’m sure Murphy calculated every second of “Dance Yrself Clean,” it sounds like absolute anarchy. And in the moments when his screaming vocals go hoarse over the slamming synths, it’s unreal.

#23: “Born To Die” by Lana Del Rey (2011)

This was the first Lana Del Rey song I heard, back in my junior year of high school. I was immediately floored. The vocals, the cinematic orchestral sweep, the spaghetti western guitars, the tragically beautiful lyrics  — it was an instant masterpiece. There was no way Lana wouldn’t be the world’s biggest popstar within a year.

A couple months later, Lana infamously bombed on Saturday Night Live, which some thought would derail her career entirely. Even after her career has survived and she’s become a critical darling with a cult fanbase, her debut album, Born To Die, and its title track still have a bit of the stink from that SNL performance. Well, no more.

“Born To Die” is a haunting gothic-pop masterpiece that’s aged much better than much early-’10s pop (although I love the corny club stuff from that era, don’t get me wrong). Lana’s smoky voice is unparalleled, the trip-hop production is untouchable.

And although her pinnacle wouldn’t come until 2014 with her sophomore album Ultraviolence, “Born To Die” is still Lana’s most perfect single to date.

#22: “Green Light” by Lorde (2017)

In 2013, Lorde completely upended the pop universe with “Royals,” a minimalist tune chastising radio hits for their un-relatable opulence. By 2017, the culture had fully gravitated towards Lorde’s moodier sound, with greyscale acts like Post Malone and Alessia Cara writing monster hits about being angsty and sad (and not in the artsy, brilliant way that worked for Kurt Cobain or Kanye). It was a far cry from the neon, bubbly world of Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen from a few years prior.

The New Zealand prodigy could’ve cashed in on being ahead of the curve and continued down her minimalist moody path. But she did the opposite with the defiant and proudly energized “Green Light.” Yes, it’s a breakup anthem, but Lorde doesn’t wallow in her sadness here (she saves that for other Melodrama cuts). Instead, she wailed away into the night, playing off of the thundering drums and bouncing pianos of Jack Antonoff’s production (his best-ever). 

With “Green Light,” Lorde let her ex, and the world, know that she isn’t going anywhere. She might not ever reach the commercial heights of “Royals” again, but she’ll be an icon as long as there’s heartbreak that needs overcoming.

#21: “If You Know You Know” by Pusha-T (2018)

Pusha-T’s magnum opus, “If You Know You Know,” is a masterclass in cocaine rap with its effortless wordplay, sinister-yet-charismatic flow and blaring Kanye West beat. It deserved to be the song of the summer in 2018, but the masses chose a C-tier Drake single instead (despite Push absolutely ENDING Drake that summer).

But that doesn’t diminish the achievement Push made with this song. It’s quite a feat to record your best-ever track 17 years after your breakout. It’s even more of an accomplishment when that track kicks as much ass as “If You Know You Know.”

#20: “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry (2010)

Teenage Dream-era Katy Perry is one of pop’s all-time juggernauts. The five consecutive #1 hit singles that album racked up is a feat matched only by Michael Jackson. Of those five singles, one stands out as the clear masterpiece of the group: the album’s title track (although “T.G.I.F” is also incredible).

I remember feeling a little underwhelmed by “Teenage Dream” when I first heard it in 2010. Her last single was a goofy, bombastic summer jam complete with a ridiculous video. “Teenage Dream” is a much more conventional, timeless pop jam. The chord structure is shockingly simple and the lyrics are lovestruck notes from a ‘50s ballad.

But that simplicity is what makes the song work. “Teenage Dream” has aged well because sometimes, all you need is three chords, a monster hook and yearning lyrics. This song will be Perry’s biggest legacy.

#19: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

“Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” has to be the only uplifting, U2/Nirvana-style power ballad about DUIs.

Landing smack in the middle of Car Seat Headrest’s indie rock concept album/instant-classic Teens of Denial, “Drunk Drivers” is about the main character taking stock of his entire life and emotional instability. And yes, it all centers around driving drunk — or in this case, refusing that temptation as an impetus to change one’s life.

Naturally, in the very next song on the album, it’s revealed that the narrator drove drunk and got arrested anyways. But for a cathartic six minutes, “Drunk Drivers” provides a fleeting escape from the constant loop of self-hate and depression. Not to mention that it’s a grinding ‘90s alt-rock throwback that probably makes Billy Corgan jealous.

#18: “Harmony Hall” by Vampire Weekend (2019)

I’d never guess that Vampire Weekend’s second-best song (after “Oxford Comma,” of course) would be a hippie-friendly tune combining the Grateful Dead and Screamadelica. But here we are. And awkward combination or no, Ezra Koenig knew exactly what he was doing.

In a very dark, uncertain year, Koenig decided to write a song that doubled both as a blissed-out reprieve and a nervous warning. The music is utopian, but the lyrics detail the anger, confusion and constant obstacles of life in the late ‘10s. Koenig takes a lyric from one of his previous songs — “I don’t want to live like this/but I don’t want to die” — and makes it a rallying cry for anxious Millennials around the world, paranoid that the world might not stick around much longer.

It’s a heavy topic, but the gorgeous instrumentals, breakbeat drums, lilting guitars and bouncy pianos certainly ease the stress. “Harmony Hall” is a late-career masterpiece for the ages.

#17: “Marvins Room” by Drake (2011)

Never before has a booty call sounded so sad.

Way before he ruled the pop universe, Drake was just hip-hop’s resident mope. And “Marvins Room” is peak sadboi Drake. Using a real voicemail message in the hook (that he was later sued for using), “Marvins Room” is a six-minute phone conversation in which Drake drunkenly begs his ex to come back.

On the surface, what Drake discusses are what most rappers brag about — sex, money, wealth. But in “Marvins Room,” Drake seems to view them as obstacles to his ex, who he clearly still isn’t over. When he said he had sex four times this week, he sounds disgusted with himself, not proud.

Drake doesn’t look remotely good in this song; it’s more than a little pathetic. But it feels real and raw and revealing in a way that few R&B ballads are willing to get.

#16: “Pedestrian At Best” by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett’s grungy masterpiece, “Pedestrian At Best,” is appropriately angsty given its crunchy guitars and yell-y vocals. But the Melbourne singer-songwriter touches on a different kind of angst here than Pearl Jam usually tapped into: the pressure of living up to sky-high expectations.

In the early/mid ‘10s, Barnett was earning lots of hype after witty (and excellent!) early singles like “Avant Gardener” and “History Eraser.” She clearly assumed she’d screw up her debut album following up those breakout songs, as she declares herself “a fake” and “a phony” in “Pedestrian At Best.” 

Arguably her generation’s best lyricist, Barnett nails her expectation to squander the public’s expectations: “Put me on a pedestal and I’ll only disappoint you/Tell me I’m exceptional, I promise to exploit you.” The ironic thing is, she did the opposite. “Pedestrian At Best” is one of the most successful songs about failing.

#15: “Ni**as in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011)

There was some close competition, but I don’t think there was a more quotable rap song this decade than Jay-Z and Kanye West’s crowning achievement from Watch The Throne, “Ni**as in Paris.”

The classic lines don’t stop coming throughout the minimalist banger. Jay’s verse is smooth braggadocio perfected: “I’m liable to go Michael, take your pick: Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6.” Then Kanye comes crashing in with some truly bizarre bars that are both the dumbest and greatest thing you’ve ever heard. After hearing the song, I never felt the same way about fish filets ever again.

And then, the piece de resistance — Kanye’s inspired Will Ferrell sample from Blades Of Glory. It’s one of the most left-field and iconic moments in hip-hop history, and perfectly described the song itself. “NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS. BUT IT’S PROVOCATIVE. IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOING.” Amen.

#14: “Run Away With Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

Carly Rae Jepsen deserved to be one of the biggest popstars of all time. She should be selling out the same arenas that Taylor Swift and Beyoncé fill. But, in what is a true tragedy, the British Columbia native is only remembered as being that singer with that one earth-shattering hit and a feverish cult following.

But despite how adorable and fun “Call Me Maybe” is, Jepsen’s true magnum opus is her 2015 album, EMOTION, and its bombastic opening track, “Run Away With Me.” 

The single is a masterclass in blending ‘80s flourishes with modern production. On the thunderous chorus, the EDM synths and roaring saxophone riff work in harmony with Jepsen’s passionate vocals to create pure pop bliss. Combined with the intimate verses, the single perfectly encapsulates that butterfly-feeling of a relationship’s honeymoon stage.

“Run Away With Me” is only one of many, many Jepsen singles that would’ve been #1 smashes in a perfect world. But the lack of chart success for this one especially hurt.

#13: “Formation” by Beyoncé (2016)

Where were you when “Formation” dropped? I bet you probably remember (I was writing an essay in my college’s library).

Sure, Beyoncé’s self-titled 2013 album is the surprise drop that gets all the attention. But “Formation” came out of nowhere too a few years later, and let’s be honest — it was much better. (side note: 4 is also much better than the self-titled)

Mike Will Made It’s beat for “Formation” incorporated some Texas twang into his trap-pop production — a fitting match for a Houston legend like Beyoncé. And Bey takes heat-check shot after heat-check shot here: declaring herself the next Bill Gates; casually dropping a “swag” ad lib and magically not sounding corny as hell; making a trip to a mediocre chain seafood restaurant sound like a cool post-sex reward.

It all works. And that’s because on “Formation,” Beyoncé was as untouchable and fearless as her cutthroat stans had always proclaimed her to be. The fact that it was the triumphant coda to one of the decade’s best pop albums just cements its legend.

#12: “Old Town Road (Remix)” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus (2019)

It’s the longest-running #1 hit in U.S. history. An unstoppable juggernaut that held titans like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and Drake from the top of the charts. And, oh yeah — it’s perfect.

There are probably a few party poopers out there who hate “Old Town Road.” I am not one of them. By 2019, pop’s grayscale, Post Malone-fueled gloom had gotten out of hand. Then out of nowhere, this teenage Nicki Minaj Twitter stan writes a goofy novelty song that’s both a parody of country clichés and a sincere celebration of the cowboy lifestyle. (It’s also the greatest country song ever written, and the entire city of Nashville can fight me on that.)

Lil Nas X has a pure charisma other artists would kill for, from his warbly, infectious chorus to his endlessly quotable verse (WRANGLER ON MY BOOTY!!). And pulling Billy Ray Cyrus away from Hannah Montana-funded retirement to drop a shockingly fire verse about living the luxury lifestyle in Beverly Hills? There’s no way this wouldn’t be one of my all-time favorites.

Sometimes, when it comes to predicting future classics, you’ve just got to trust the screaming elementary schoolers.

#11: “Midnight City” by M83 (2011)

“Midnight City” sounds like what Space Mountain feels like.

The decade’s best electronic song is so perfect as to be almost alien, yet also remarkably warm and human. And just when you thought the song couldn’t get better, the second-greatest sax solo of all time (only behind “Jungleland”) bursts out of the neon layers of synth.

M83 has a catalogue stuffed with stunning retro synthpop bangers. The fact that “Midnight City” towers above them all is a testament to the song’s sheer majesty.

#10: “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift (2012)

Yes, I’m aware that this is the obvious Taylor Swift pick for this list. But Swift’s literary masterwork, “All Too Well,” hits me too hard to deny it.

“All Too Well” is so packed with vivid details and intense emotional swings that it feels like more like a short story backed by arena-rock instrumentation more than a pop song. From her an abandoned scarf tucked in a drawer, to her ex’s mother embarrassing him with his dorky child photos, to the phone-call breakup that was “casually cruel in the name of being honest,” Swift didn’t leave anything out.

Coupled with her songwriting, Swift’s vocals also make “All Too Well” her pinnacle. She reaches into her upper register so rarely that it sends shivers whenever she does, like on the emphatic climax here. 

If it catches me in the right mood, Swift’s performance, the lilting guitars and cutting lyrics in “All Too Well” brings a few tears to my eyes. (Yes, really.) It’s only fitting that one of the greatest breakup anthems of all time is sung by a master of the artform.

#9: “Ivy” by Frank Ocean (2016)

I was very tempted to put Frank Ocean’s 10-minute synthpop epic “Pyramids” on the list instead. Make no mistake — if it wasn’t for my self-imposed one-song-per-artist rule, both it and “Ivy” would’ve placed highly.

But “Ivy” is a heart-stopper. It’s a fairly simple song, with just Ocean’s raw vocals playing off the languid guitars. To pull a song like this off, you have to be a double-threat, a genius lyrically and a stunning singer. Ocean fits that bill. 

“Ivy” is the decade’s greatest R&B song, a heartbreaking ode to a slowly crumbling relationship.

#8: “The Edge Of Glory” by Lady Gaga (2011)

Lady Gaga’s best songs hit you like a brick to the face. Gaga — the greatest pop star of the 21st century, don’t @ me — has plenty of pop bangers that do this, particularly on the wildly underrated Artpop (shoutout to the insane and insanely fun “G.U.Y.”). But arguably none of her singles provide as much maximalist pleasures as “The Edge Of Glory.”

The track reeks of trying too hard in the best way possible. Gaga reaches into her upper vocal register frequently, scratching her upper limits every time she reaches the chorus. The production is a messy-but-beautiful jumble of slamming synths and drum machines. And that Clarence Clemons sax solo — one of the last musical contributions he made before his death that same year — is just the icing on top of the gloriously sugary cake.

Gaga’s over-the-top synthpop from her early years isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But for someone like me, who wants pop to feel as massive and inescapable as humanly possible, “The Edge Of Glory” is still a towering high-water mark.

#7: “Pay No Mind” by Beach House (2018)

This spot could’ve been taken by any number of Beach House songs, the modern masters of dream-pop. “Space Song,” “Myth,” “Take Care” — the Baltimore duo honed in on a specific musical style and perfected it.

To me, “Pay No Mind” is the culmination of those years of Beach House subtly tinkering with their hazy, nocturnal sound. It’s like a gothic wedding slow-dance song: the right rhythm and with a romantic feel, but maybe a bit too gloomy for your grandparents. But regardless, “Pay No Mind” is breathtakingly beautiful, like seeing neon lights through the fog.

#6: “m.A.A.d. city” by Kendrick Lamar feat. MC Eiht (2012)

If you haven’t tried to memorize the nearly two-minute uninterrupted opening verse of “m.A.A.d. city,” were you even alive in the early ‘10s?

Kendrick Lamar has written many hip-hop epics in his career so far, but so far none have topped the semi-title track from his major label debut, good kid, m.A.A.d. city. In that concept album about Lamar’s teen years growing up amidst the gang warfare in Compton, “m.A.A.d city” marks the point where the gangsta dream shifts into a horrifying nightmare. 

The song is a blur of murder, violence and police sirens. Lamar sounds positively terrified on the track, his voice cracking while he confesses. And bringing on old-school rapper MC Eiht to play a veteran gang member snapping Lamar out of his haze was a brilliant move. “m.A.A.d city” is an exhilarating tour-de-force that proved how much raw talent, in both flow and storytelling, Lamar had.

#5: “Somebody Else” by The 1975 (2016)

If Vampire Weekend is the most important band of the early ‘10s, then The 1975 is the most important band of the rest of the decade. Their transformation from (really good!) simple pop-rock to tacking incredibly dark subject matter while successfully taste-testing their way through nearly every musical genre was unexpected. And brilliant, seeing as they pulled it off.

But The 1975′s best track is much less capital-I important than most of their epics about Trump or suicide or heroin — it’s a synthpop song about complicated post-breakup emotions. But “Somebody Else” earns its keep as the band’s pinnacle through sheer relatability. It nails that complicated feeling of being over someone...but not really. Or as lead singer Matty Healy puts it bluntly: “I don’t want your body/but I’m picturing your body with somebody else.”

The shuffling drum machine groove and icy synths complete a perfect song for wandering aimlessly at night, longing for a lost love. And although The 1975 might switch sounds endlessly in their career, their sweet spot will always be this moody ‘80s update.

#4: “TiK ToK” by Ke$ha (2010)

“TiK ToK” is still easily the peak of the 2009-12 pop golden age. It has a bit of everything you’d want in a single from that era: Gloriously grimy synths! An uber-catchy chorus with plenty of demands to party! And of course, a charismatic and unforgettable star who can deliver the song. I don’t think anyone would argue Ke$ha fit that role to a T.

When “TiK ToK” first arrived around the turn of the decade, I couldn’t stand it. I thought it was too sleazy. Nearly 10 years later, Ke$ha’s performative sleaziness is exactly what makes this song so fun. Yeah, the hook is bulletproof and the production is buzzy. But Ke$ha’s slurred, drunken delivery and ridiculous lines are what have kept “TiK ToK” in the public consciousness. She single-handedly made P. Diddy and especially Mick Jagger relevant again. She made brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels seem cool (and not insanely nasty, like it actually is). Every single ridiculous line, sung through Ke$ha’s fake valley girl accent, is a gem.

I can understand how someone wouldn’t like the unfiltered debauchery and greasiness of “TiK ToK.” But to me, that’s the entire charm of it, and what makes it stand out amongst a sea of similarly-minded club jams from its era.

#3: “Runaway” by Kanye West feat. Pusha-T (2010)

I was going to ask all of you to forget about Kanye West’s recent stumbles, be it his association with Donald Trump or his insistence that slavery was a choice. But the power of “Runaway” is that it is a semi-apology from a man who knows he’s deeply flawed. Every one of Kanye’s gaffes and terrible decisions makes “Runaway” even more relevant today.

But “Runaway” was originally a response to Kanye’s infamous “Imma let you finish” rant at the 2009 VMAs, where he interrupted Taylor Swift. The song basically operates as a semi-apology to the world for being, as he puts it, a douchebag. An asshole. A scumbag. A jerkoff. He’s somewhat bragging about his misdeeds, while sheepishly asking for forgiveness.

And yet, it’s an extremely vulnerable song. The bridge — “I guess that you’re at an advantage/Cause you can blame me for everything/And I don’t know how Imma manage/If one day you just up and leave” — initially feels like something Kanye is saying to a lover. But really, he’s saying it to all of us. And it’s arguably the most moving moment in his whole career.

#2: “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell and Nile Rodgers (2013)

Don’t think about it too hard, folks. 

Considering that Daft Punk are the greatest dance-music artists of all time, it only makes sense that they’d dip their toes into disco and absolutely KILL it. And that’s all “Get Lucky” is. Two French masters making their grand comeback by recruiting one of funk’s finest guitarists and one of the 2000s’ most charismatic vocal presences. 

“Get Lucky” will be a wedding dance staple until the sun explodes. And it deserves that status. It’s a flawless dance track. Just embrace the groove.

#1: “Archie, Marry Me” by Alvvays (2014)

My favorite song of the 2010s wasn’t a part of some major trend. It wasn’t particularly influential. It doesn’t have any profound meaning, and it didn’t try to tackle a major event. “Archie, Marry Me” just happens to be the greatest indie pop song ever written.

Every little aspect of Toronto band Alvvays’ debut single works, from the surf-y guitars to lead singer Molly Rankin’s monotone-yet-yearning vocals. With its lo-fi ramshackle charm and monster hook, “Archie, Marry Me” is all you could want in a dream-pop single. It even has the nice touch of echoing a Neil Young classic in the chorus.

The whole intention of this list — as it is with any of my year-end lists — is simply to measure which songs made me the happiest; which songs never wore out on me. And no single this decade puts a bigger smile on my face than “Archie, Marry Me.” It’s simple, achingly romantic (in a Wes Anderson-esque half-ironic way, but still), and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

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All curtains drawn- Chapter 3

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Hidden truth

“Marv? Marvin wake up,” Zach looked down and tapped his brother with the side of his foot. Marvin opened his eyes and groaned, looking up at his brother with a raging headache. “Dude why were you sleeping on the kitchen floor?”

Marvin looked around, a banging pain in his head as he tried to sit up. He winced and steadied himself on his elbows. “Did you get drunk last night?” Zach asked. “You still have work tonight you know.”

Marvin rolled to his side, and slowly got up. He stumbled a bit on his feet, but caught himself on the counter. “No I didn’t get drunk.”

“Okay then why were you on the ground?” Zach asked again. He looked down and noticed the book lying opened. He reached to pick it up, but Marvin was quicker and grabbed it before he could. Zach backed off, defensively throwing his hands up. “Okay you’re acting weird, which I guess isn’t new,” Zach pushed past his brother through the kitchen. “You should shower and get ready, we need to help prep for open stage night next week.”

Marvin groaned, he remembered the stupid monthly performance night the club had. It was so stupid. It was mediocre performers at best, standing up on stage and doing the dumbest things while usually drunk. He’d seen it all in these last few years there. Dancing, singing, comedy, someone once even did a puppet show.  

As Marvin went into his room, he thought he heard someone talking, it sounded like Zach. He poked his head out and looked down the hallway into the kitchen where Zach was flipping through the mail. “Did you say something Zach?” He called down to him.

Zach turned and looked at him confused. “No?” He answered questionably. Marvin just shrugged and went back into his room before going to shower. As he stood on the other side of the bathroom door, he heard the voice again.

“I guess I could tell him, it’s not like we expect to wait for each other. He’ll be jealous at the least, but… at worst he’d hate me. No, I can’t tell him. We started this together so we’ll end it together. University of Maine isn’t going anywhere soon.”

University of Maine? That… that was where they wanted to go. Did Zach want to leave? No, there was no way, they hadn’t saved up enough yet. Marvin tried to ignore it for now, but that kept coming up. He shouldn’t even worry about it, it was a random voice in his head. It was nothing, he decided. His mind was just playing tricks on him.

When Marvin went into his room to change, he noticed something sticking out under Zach’s blankets. It looked like a big envelope. Marvin knew he shouldn’t be snooping through his brother’s things, but he had an overactive curiosity. He moved the blanket and flipped the letter over in his hands. His eyes went wide as, low and behold, it was a letter from the University of Maine. The place they wanted to go to, but couldn’t afford yet, was sending his brother mail. He didn’t have to open it to know what it said, colleges only send huge letters like this for one reason; if you’ve been accepted.

His mind was going a million miles an hour a thoughts filled his head. Was he leaving? Why did he apply if they weren’t able to go yet? They shared what they had, was Zach hiding money from him?

Before he could hide the letter back where it was, Zach came into their room, looking like he was about to ask Marvin something. He froze when he saw Marvin holding the letter. Even though Marvin was calm while thinking about it, when he actually saw his brother, he felt himself filled with rage, and it showed clear on his face. Zach stood, cautiously looking over his brother. “Marvin I can explain.”

“Oh please do. Please explain why our dream university sent you an acceptance letter. Better yet why don’t you tell me why you applied in the first place when you know we can’t afford to go yet,” His voice was getting louder with each word.

Zach walked over and pulled the envelope out of Marvin’s hands. “You can’t."

“And neither can you!” He interrupted. “We make the same and split our tips and scams.”

Zach took a deep breath and leaned back on his desk, meeting his brother’s eyes. “Actually we don’t make the same,” He confessed. “I didn’t know how to tell you, it’s been over a year since I got my raise.”

To say that Marvin was speechless was an understatement. Why hadn’t he just told him? Why did he keep this hidden for so long. He just didn’t want his brother lying to him. “So you just thought it’d be okay to just lie to me?” Marvin scolded.

“Marv I wasn’t gonna go yet. I was gonna wait for you, I swear! I just wanted to see if I could get in,” Zach tried his hardest to get his brother to believe him, but it seemed fruitless.

Marvin shook his head, looking away from his brother.  “It just feels like you’re trying to get rid of me just like dad.”

“Marv,”

“Just go Zach! I don’t wanna hear your damn excuses!” Marvin turned and went back to getting ready, ignoring Zach completely.

He heard an exasperated sigh from behind him. “Fine, whatever,” Followed by footsteps leading further away. Then he heard that voice again. It was Zach’s but distant and echoey.

“Asshole, he should be happy that I actually got in. He really is a pain in the ass…”

The voice was interrupted by the front door shaking the rest of the apartment. Marvin wanted to just forget about it for the night. He’d make a mental note to save a little extra of his tips for himself. After he got himself ready, he grabbed his book and headed out. He could put it on his locker and read more of it during his break.

The whole day felt dull. Even though the place was fairly busy, he kept avoiding his brother’s gaze the whole time and had a sour attitude. He just wanted to get the night over with, he didn’t care right now whether he made a lot. At one point, a young woman with short dark hair came in a sat at the bar. “Excuse me,” She called Marvin over.

He sighed and went over to her to take her order, but the minute that he met her gaze, he fell almost in a trance, he forgot about the argument with his brother entirely, he just wanted to keep looking at her. She smiled sweetly at him and everything seemed to fade away. Marvin felt his mind go fuzzy, and nothing felt normal anymore. Before he knew it, she was dragging him into the break room. .

[m-i-y-o-k-i]

You asked who's obsessed with losing their v card? I'm thinking Bing?

HIGH SCHOOL AU THATS SIMILARLY LIKE AMERICAN PIEit's bing and two other egos lower on the popularity food chain, not full on "losers and freaks" like the band geeks or environmental club. just on the outskirts of the normal student population, keeping to their own mismatched group of friends and classmates. after another failed attempt at losing their virginity at one of wilford's lakehouse parties, and seeing possibly the nerdiest arts and crafts club member and senior alive -- goop -- walk out of a room disheveled and clinging to some girl half naked, they /know/ they have to lose it by graduation. preferably on prom night; not looking forward to going yo college virgins. especially bing; who's going to Northshore Uni in the summer semester to practice with their track team and get a head start in classes thus, the three make a pact to lose their v cards by prom night, at wilford's after party. rules going down between the three -- can't use sex workers to lose it, can't pay anyone to help you, and has to be consensual and wanted with the other person.ego #1 tries to spread rumors about themselves to make them more desirable by the student population. rumors such as 'did you hear he's gifted down there? he's had at least half the school in bed' to 'i heard he beat up wilford AND google at once, but dont tell them about it because they hate being reminded.' to even, 'he's taking a limo to prom!! even paying for his date's dress and suit and everything!!' it isnt long before they find people surrounding him with promposalsego #2 tries to flirt up a storm with anyone and everyone. girls, guys, king's super hot actor dad and robbie's super hot doctor dad. cheesy pick up lines and pet names spilling from his lips as he tried to make himself into something he's not. said tactic blows up in his face when he tries flirting with yan after school, getting a face full of pain and her fist colliding with his...well, /unmentionables/. maybe...he'll just ask that lonely kid in his history class to go...that'd be easier than playing this stupid hit and miss flirting gamebing tries wooing any other gay guys he knows. marvin, leader of the lgbtq+ support club kindly turns him down, "i'm helping decorate and dj the prom, sorry, bing..." he smiles, kissing him on the cheek, "it means a lot you'd ask. im sure theres another guy out there that loved to go with you! dont give up!"bim giggles as he stands with the other mean boys and girls of the school, "oh yeah, i'd love to go with some loser outcast jock who tries so hard to be straight." bim pushes bing back, taking he flower he brought as a gift, "huh, cheap looking flower." bing runs as soon as bim crushes the stem and petals under his boot. the group laughing loudly to rub in their cruel act more. leaving bing breathing heavily as he tries to calm down around the corner, among the mess of lockers and students. looking up to see google joking and laughing with wilford and jameson. the late afternoon sun shining down on his face from the window, framing it perfectly. not taking notice of bing shaking, blushing as he considers it. could he....really ask him? a bully to prom? especially one he's only heard rumors of being bi? bing sighs as the group leave him alone, walking past, talking rather loudly."alright, im going with dark," wilford points to jameson, "you're going with author," he playfully shoved google, "and we got this fucker going solo!" "not like it matters. its just one last party before we all graduate," google sighs, rolling his eyes. he didn't need a date, right? he can get by on his own, for one more night, right?

[extra--butter]

“THEM” Review

Alright, alright, here we are. I finally finished the “anticipated” television series titled “Them”. After watching the trailer, was I being played or was this a repetitive pattern? “Them” uses horror to portray the black American experience, joining a club of recent films and tv series.  However, blatantly copying the aesthetics of past filmmakers (Jordan Peele *cough cough), the series does not encompass the chilling and frightfulness of your traditional horror film nor reveals or adds to what is already understood of racial terror black people endure daily. Our society has transitioned into the digital age, where real time news has a permanent dwelling in our hand. The violence towards Black people is witnessed daily and to release another show marketing black trauma is erroneous, tiring, unnecessary, and a bit vile. Is it necessary to add to the viciousness aimed towards the black body? Could the series budget be directed towards something more uplifting?

The television series was created by Little Marvin and executive produced by Lena Waithe, two black filmmakers. The story follows the Emory’s, a young black family who escape the ruralness of the south after a tragic event and transition to the suburban life in Compton, CA. It was blatantly obvious the difficulties the Emory’s would face living amongst their neighbors. As the only black family on the block, tension rose quickly. Initiated by Betty Wilder, their white neighbor across the street whom cried racial phrases and initiated a community hate group towards the Emory’s. We as the audience watched ten excruciating days of The Emory’s wrestling with their white neighbors’ mission to drive them out of the neighborhood. What initially began as intimidation, turned into physical violence.  Marvin & Waithe depended on displaying all facets of racism to “get a point across” (notice the quotes).  Literally representing white gaze as the neighbors gather in lawn chairs in front of the Emory’s house on day one, blaring racist music. Racial phrases were repeatedly shouted from the mouths of white people such as “n**ger, coon, monkey,…” you name it, it was said. Intentionally intensifying the shows mission to represent the cruelty of racism in its most extreme manner. What I could not figure out, is why two black directors wanted to add to the narrative? Did the script not consider the damage the language and actions depicted would have on the black audience whom understand and experience this on a personal level? Were they creating a show not for us? Whichever the reason, the mark was missed, and I will tell you why. This narrative is overcrowded, and the show suffers from forcefully packing multiple themes into ten episodes which made it confusing for the viewing experience. The characters lose their sense of being people and become symbols of public and personal strife’s. We watch Lucky Emory battle the struggle of a broken heart and black motherhood, Henry Emory quarrels a double sword of representation and aspirations, the eldest daughter battles with self-love and the youngest reveals the conflicts of childhood as a black kid. All important matters to discuss but time was not on their side when also telling an overloaded themed story.

As I wrapped up the series, I began to question our craving to tell stories about racism. It came upon me that white supremacy has been engrained in our psyche, as it is the first interaction black people experienced when unwillingly transplanted onto American soil, but it is NOT our life. Well aware of the false narrative taught throughout the educational system, it has become our “calling” to discuss the truth. However, THEM did not do anything to challenge the status quo, but in fact simply succeeded at throwing a load of terror from the pain we endure. As the episode’s degradation fluctuates, it left me wondering how much power Waithe and Marvin had and whether it was their mission to show content of this nature or the studios. Whomever's decision, it simply seemed to be more for bringing suffer than awareness. Or better yet, earn consideration for film and tv awards as they love to nominate black films and shows that depict our struggle. But that’s another story for another day. After finishing the show, I questioned how I felt. I questioned how others that look like me felt. We watch and experience violence, abuse, and injustice in real life and too much on screen. And did ‘Them’ really change the mindset of the white people whom watch this show? Hell no. But provided another topic to insert at the water cooler at work.

“Them” on the butter meter: I don’t even want any popcorn right now. And that’s rare. 4/10. The acting was well done. 

[theparablahblah]

UPDATE: Ships for Ego High ask blog

Dark/Wilford (they’ve started dating in high school and got married the year after they graduated. The rest of the staff (and a lot of their students) call them the high school sweethearts, Wilford loves it and Dark acts like he hates it but secretly loves it)

The host/Dr. Iplier (Dr. Iplier fell in love with The Host the moment he saw him. He vowed to do everything in his power to get the host to love him back, which hasn’t been working super well for since he hasn’t even had the courage to talk to him)

Chase/Bing (chase and bing have been best friends for years and during the entirety of their friendship Bing has been in love with Chase who has been in love with Stacy who he eventually dated and married. Bing is happy for his best friend but it hurts like a mother fucker to see the person he loves most everyday.)

Anti/Yan (its a one sided thing. Yan is IN LOVE with Anti but Anti is an ace/aro boi and doesn’t know how to tell Yan to back off. So instead of telling Yan to stop he makes the (terrible) plan of finding him a new Senpai)

Marvin/Jackieboy (they super cute and oblivious because they totally don’t realize that they over is as head heals for as they are for the other (did that sentence make sense?). They supervise the video game club together and they’re always blushing and pining for each other whole time)

Bim/Blank (this ship comes from @littleteenblog most recent installment of her ego high series where Bim does something nice for Blank and my brain was like ‘I fucking ship that shit’which I’m pretty sure wasn’t her original intention. But the backstory behind this one is that Blank is a teachers aid at Ego High and Bim helps him out on the first day and Blank thinks Bim is super hot. Bim thinks Blank is the cutest person he has ever seen and constantly flirts with him.)

That’s all I have for now

[iamvegorott]

One Night Of Your Life Chapter 2 (Final)

The Morning After

Anti and Dark were both panting, laying on their backs and staring at the ceiling. They were naked and sweat glistened on their skin. Several rounds had passed before they were satisfied and it wasn’t until they could breathe properly that what they did kicked in.

“What do-”

“Get out.” Anti cut Dark off and he rolled away from the demon, grabbing a blanket and covering himself. He curled up into a tight ball as he listened to Dark gather his clothes.

“Um...goodbye.” Dark said quietly before slipping out of the room. He let out a sigh before looking up, someone clearing their throat catching his attention. “Shit.” Dark said under his breath when he saw that all of the other Septiceye egos were staring at him, arms crossed and feet tapping against the ground. He wasn’t even going to bother talking his way out of this or to convince them that something else happened. Dark didn’t need to look at himself to know what was there. His jacket and was laid across his arm, shirt not fully buttoned, tie just hanging around a hickey covered neck. They all knew what he and Anti had done. There was no denying it.

“Three a.m.? Really?” Marvin huffed before everyone but Chase walked away, leaving a very confused Dark. Was that really their complaint? That he and Anti were up too late?

“Called it.” Chase sang and left as well. Dark tried to find words but soon realized that there was nothing to say and he teleported out of the Septiceye house, landing in the Iplier living room.

“What were you up to last night, young man?” Wilford teased as he passed by Dark, only needing a quick glance to get most of the story.

“I don’t wish to discuss it.” Dark sighed and started heading for his room, groaning when Wilford cut him off.

“You don’t wanna talk about it with your best man?” Wilford pointed at Dark’s neck. “I can see you had a lot of fun.”

“I already said that I don’t wish-”

“Fine, fine. Don’t share the juicy details. I’ll just ask the man himself what you did to him.” Wilford winked. “I’m sure Anti would love to tell me everything.”

“What about Anti?” Bim asked, coming out of his room.

“Dude, you looked messed up.” Bing commented, leaving his room as well.

“He clearly participated in a round or multiple rounds of sexual activities.” Google stated after scanning Dark’s body.

“You had sex with Anti!?” Bing shouted.

“Oh, good. I was worried that the entire house wouldn’t know!” Dark snapped before storming off. He made sure to slam his door as loud as possible when he entered his room. “I just wanted a damn drink.” Dark growled at himself and he began undressing, he was in desperate need of clean clothes.

It was just sex. Nothing more. They got heated. They acted on the spur of the moment and it meant nothing.

Dark made sure that he had all evidence of last night covered or cleaned up. He was back to his normal state and decided to spend the rest of the day catching up on some paperwork. Dark scooped up a large stack of papers and headed for the dining room. He tended to use the table in there for paperwork since it was a large and flat surface he could work with. Dark started laying the pages out, stacking them into piles. This was peaceful, this was calming this.

D-Dark

Dark’s brain started to wonder, remembering in vivid detail about last night. The sight, the sounds, the scent, the taste, all of it came flooding back in. Anti laying under him, head tilted back as he moaned in pleasure. Dark’s name spilling off of his tongue without a moment’s hesitation every time he moved his hips. Loving the view of the bright red marks he had made all over Anti’s chest and neck. The feeling of the virus’ nails dragging down his back made a shiver go down his spine and it snapped him back into the present.

“Great. Just great.” Dark sighed, seeing that he wasn’t actually organizing his papers while he was zoned out. He let out a long breath as he re-gathered his papers.

Why was Anti still in his head? Why was last night playing on repeat? Dark wasn’t immune to inappropriate thoughts, he’s had a few thoughts of pounding into Anti to get him to shut up, but those only lasted a moment and he could easily push them aside. They had been getting more frequent as of late, but that had to be from just frustration since Anti insisted on being more obnoxious as well. Anti was nothing. He meant nothing. He is a nuisance, he’s loud and crude and good-looking and funny and…“Damn it!” Dark slammed his hands down and once again, tried to get back to work.

“I think we’ll have dinner in the living room.” Bim’s comment made Dark check his phone.

“What, how?” Dark asked himself, seeing that it was already late evening. There was no way, he started working in the early afternoon. It does not take him this long to just sort papers.

“A demon and a virus will pair in a most unexpecting way.” Host stated as he entered the room.

“Please tell me that you’re just mocking me like the others and that is not a prediction.” Dark sighed.

“Host says that Dark should go and do what his heart is telling him to.” Host said, sitting himself down.

“I don’t have a heart.” Dark growled.

“Host says that he thinks otherwise. Dark does not wish to believe that he does have emotions, but the whole house knew that is false.” Host was looking at Dark as he spoke.

“Please let me get back to work.” Dark sighed.

“Host refuses to get up and tells Dark that staring at the papers won’t magically make the thoughts go away.”

“How do you…” Dark stopped himself. Host knew everything, he wasn’t able to tell them all that he knew, but he knew more than he could ever dream of and Dark hated that. “It was a one-time thing. I don’t care about that psychotic glitch.”

“Dark lied.” Host stated, earning a loud huff from the demon.

“I’m not-”

“Host interrupts Dark to inform him that he is always able to tell when someone is lying.” Even with the large bandage around his eyes, Host’s facial expression was clear. “Host suggests that Dark should return to the Septiceye home and speak with Anti.”

“Yes. Because the last time I went there, everything went so well.” Dark scoffed.

“Host says that Dark should at least get out of the house.” Host suggested. “Dark thinks of a nearby club that he knows he could easily hide in the corner and not be spotted out of the crowd.”

“Get out of my head.” Dark sighed.

“Host offers to get one of the others to clean up his paperwork so he can leave.” Host said.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll go.” Dark crossed his arms and he vanished into a puff of black smoke.

“A demon and a virus will pair in a most unexpecting way.” Host said with a smug smile.

                                                         x~x~x

Anti finally decided to roll out of bed, realizing his desperate need for a shower. He slipped on a pair of boxers just in case one of the other egos were out and Anti was sure they didn’t want to see the full glory of his body. Anti shuffled to the bathroom, shocked to learn that he was only sore at his hips where finger-shaped bruises were forming.

“Holy shit.” Anti sighed when he got a look in the mirror. His entire neck and chest were covered in red marks. “So many damn hickeys.” He groaned, going over to the shower and turning it on, letting the water warm up. “I fucked Dark.” Anti said to himself as he sat on the edge of the bathtub. Anti would never be afraid to admit that he thought of having sex with Dark before. That he wanted to get on top of him and show him who was in charge. But that wasn’t exactly how it went last night, although he did get close to Dark saying his name while his mouth was on him down below. Anti knew how to work his tongue. He ate a lot of popsicles. Anti chuckled at his own thought. He blinked when he saw red peeking out of the bottom of his boxers. “Seriously?” Anti sighed when he pulled them up and was greeted with more red. He stood up and slipped the boxers off, groaning when he saw that there was red all over his thighs and lower stomach. “Was he trying to fucking eat me?” Anti tossed the boxers aside and stepped into the shower.

It was just sex. Nothing more. Just the two of them finally getting that stupid tension out of them.

F-Fuck

Anti scrubbed his body, not realizing that flashes of Dark touching him went through his mind whenever he ran the loofa across the red spots on him. The sight of Dark above him, that smirk could be classified as illegal when he chewed at his lip or licked them. When Dark grabbed his chin and forced him to look him in the eye when he sped up was maddening. Dark’s soft grunts and groans and Dark’s hair getting in his face and Dark’s harsh grip on his hips to keep him still, all of that went through Anti’s mind.

“Fuck.” Anti cursed when he realized that he was just standing there and thinking. He was already done and clean but didn’t want to leave the warmth of the shower. Anti quickly shut the shower off and got out. He wrapped a towel around his waist, used a different one to dry his hair a little and stepped out of the bathroom.

“That Dark did a number on that body of yours.” Dr. Schneepelstein commented as he passed by to get to the kitchen.

“You look like a pepperoni pizza.” Marvin chuckled.

“All your missing is the pineapple and you’re good to go.” Jackieboy snapped his fingers and pointed them at Anti.

“When you gonna share all the juicy details?” Chase teased.

“I’m not talking about it.” Anti stated, going to the kitchen as well. He really needed a drink and some food.

“Why don’t you wanna talk to your best man?” Chase sang as he followed Anti. Anti was sad to see that the other egos were in there as well, helping themselves to some lunch.

“Best man?” Anti scoffed when what Chase said clicked in. “We’re not a couple and even if we were, you’re not going to be my best man.” Anti stated, getting himself a cup.

“How would I not be your best man? I’m the one who said you needed to fuck and you did.” Chase hoisted himself on top of the counter.

“Dr. Schneeplestein is the one that made my neck wound close when I broke free. He’ll be my best man.” Anti said with a small head shake, filling his cup up with water from the sink.

“The best man for what?” Dr. Schneepelstein asked.

“Nothing.” Anti said.

“Anti’s and Dark’s future wedding.” Chase said.

“A wedding!? I love a good wedding!” Dr. Schneeplestein clapped his hands. “We can have streamers and candy and-”

“I’m not marrying Dark!” Anti snapped, making all the other egos stop and look at him, fear in their eyes. “I would never marry that fucking prick! I fucked him! That’s it!” Anti stormed out of the kitchen and went into his room, hoping that his housemates all flinched when he slammed the door shut. Anti slipped on some clothes and left his room.

“Where are you going?” Chase asked softly.

“Out. And when I come back, I’ll have another piece of ass with me to show you that it was just sex and nothing else.” Anti stated before leaving the house.

Anti found himself just wondering around the town, going into shops and not buying anything, but still helping himself to some things that he enjoyed. At one point he just sat on a park bench for a good hour, just staring off into the distance and trying not to think. He hated Dark. He knew that he hated Dark. Why couldn’t he get out of his head?

Eventually, it became late and Anti ended up going into a club, using a copy of Jack’s ID to get in. He sat at the bar and ordered a beer. Anti handed the bartender a card that he had rigged to take money out of hundreds of other bank accounts to pay for his things. He had to pay his tab somehow or else he’d never be able to come back and he didn’t know whether he liked the place or not. Anti ordered a second beer before downing his first one.

“Long day?” The bartender asked, taking the empty glass and handing Anti a new one.

“You’ve got no idea, man.” Anti sighed. “Could I also get a shot of whiskey?”

“Coming right up.” Anti saw a woman sit on the stool next to him.

“What you drinking?” Anti asked with a grin.

“Whiskey sour.” The woman answered with a giggle.

“A woman after my own heart.” Anti chuckled. “Put her drink on my tab.” Anti told the bartender when he was given his shot. The worker nodded and after getting the woman’s order, he went to make it. Anti took the shot of whiskey and threw it into his mouth, not even flinching as the burn traveled down his throat.

“Seems like you know how to work your liquor.” The woman said in a soft voice, her hand resting on the counter and sliding over towards Anti.

“I know how to work a lot of things.” Anti placed his hand on the woman’s and froze. Something felt wrong. Something was off with her hand. It was too small. To delicate. “I’ll be back.” Anti finished off his second drink before leaving, hearing the woman giggle as he walked away.

Anti thought to himself that maybe tonight wasn’t a ladies night. Maybe he was in the mood for a man. Anti weaved through the crowd of dancing people and stopped when he saw a well-built man leaning against the wall. Too small and too delicate was his problem before, this man was definitely not small nor delicate. Anti made sure to make eye-contact with the man before casually strolling over to him, making sure that his hips popped out a little more as he walked. The smirk on the man’s face told Anti that he wasn’t opposed to being with men as well.

“Hello.” The man greeted as Anti leaned against the wall next to him.

“Not a big dancer?” Anti asked.

“I don’t like dancing alone.” The man answered.

“How about I show you some moves then?” Anti went in front of the man, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.” The man chuckled and took Anti’s hand.

“I’m sure I won’t be.” Anti didn’t hear the man’s response, he was staring at his hand. Something was wrong again. Something about the hand didn’t feel right on his. It was too rough or the grip was off or something.

“I’m going to hit the restroom real quick and we’ll get to it.” Anti said with a wink before slipping away. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Anti asked himself, traveling through the crowd again. He felt as if someone was watching him and every time he started to hit on someone, it was like eyes were burning into him. What was happening? Anti started looking around, maybe someone was here that he knew. Where were they?

Anti wasn’t able to see that Dark was sitting in one of the upper levels of the club. The demon had a drink in his hand and his teeth were gritting against each other. His chest started to tighten up any time Anti would go up to someone and loosen up a little when he walked away. What was happening to him? Why did he get so angry every time Anti spoke to another person. He hated the virus. He hated him. Right? Dark quickly finished his drink before vanishing, the glass falling and shattering against the ground.

“Have a good night.” The bartender said to Anti. Anti only hummed as he signed the receipt, making sure to give the worker a large tip since it wasn’t his money he was giving away.

“Bye.” Anti muttered and walked out of the club.

This was ridiculous. This was stupid. Why was he letting images of Dark flood into his head when he was trying to get some from a different person? It was more than just them having sex that was in his mind. He was thinking of all the times Dark had smirked or chuckled or rolled his eyes or used sarcasm or did anything. Why did he have this warm feeling in his chest whenever he thought of those things? That warm feeling has been bothering him for weeks if Dark popped into his mind and it wasn’t about sex. He knew what arousal felt like and that was not it. Did he actually care for Dark? Chase’s comment about Dark and Anti getting married was now ringing in his head.

Absolutely not. That would never happen. Dark hated him. Dark would never even want to be left alone in a room with him. The only time that happened was them having sex. That was it. It was nothing else. Dark would never care for him. No one cares about a psychotic virus. No one ever would. Dark would rather see him dead. Anti sniffed, making him discover that he was crying.

“I don’t care. I don’t care about him.” Anti said to himself as he kept walking. “He doesn’t care about me. He never will.” Why was saying this hurting him so much? Why did it make him want to throw up at the thought of Dark actually hating him? Anti accepted the fact that he would always be alone. That he would never actually have someone to call his own or for them to say that he’s theirs. He’s a virus. He destroys. He was worthless and pathetic and idiotic. “I hate it.” Anti said, stopping in front of a door. “I hate this so much.” Without realizing it, he knocked on the door.

“Hello?” Dark opened the door and saw a crying Anti on his porch. Anti looked up and the two stared at each other. “Anti…” Anti waited for Dark to finish and felt more tears flowing out of his eyes when he realized that he had, he threw himself at Dark and slammed their lips together.

“A demon and a virus will pair in a most unexpecting way.” Host said.

“Did you know this would happen?” Wilford asked.

“Host informs Wilford that he was given this prediction yesterday morning and also had no need to speak with Anti about him detaching from Jack.” Host chuckled.

“Your predictions are never wrong, are they?” Wilford rested an elbow on Host’s shoulder, watching as Anti and Dark were now just hugging.

“They never are.” Host stated.

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101

[broadwayyhoe]

Falsettos Teachers AU !!!!!!

I love teachers aus !!!!!!!!!!! so !!!! much !!!!!!!!!! so here’s a falsettos one! au where the tight knit family are all teachers at a high school. I love these characters so much goddamn it. I’ll call the school McKinley High bc it sounds good (I did not intend for this to be a glee reference but it happened. oops) 

MARVIN RICHARDS - he teaches english lit.  - he gives out loads of hw so a lot of students complain about him, but none of them actually HATE him.  - bc his classes are pretty interesting.  - all of his classes end up turning into a huge debate about the themes of whatever book they’re talking about.   - obviously Marvin n e v e r backs down abt his opinion.   - so his classes are always vv heated, and it always ends up dragging on (and Marvin receives several complaints from the teachers w/ classes after him) - for some reason he’s the coach of racquetball club, a fact that is considered one of the biggest mysteries at McKinley High, because he is absolute shit at it, members of the club will vouch for it. - BUT despite his lack of talent in racquetball, he is quite buff (I’m imagining Christian Borle as Marvin here so…. y’all have seen his arms, right????? Marvin is totally super buff)

WHIZZER BROWN - obviously he’s the young PE teacher  - that came to the school recently  - all the students love him  - he’s super chill and the Cool Teacher™, he has loads of cool stories about past hookups and things, reeeeeally lax about rules and everything  - he becomes coach of the baseball team as well  - and he’s the ya know the hot young fit PE teacher, so all the female teachers were all flirting with him at the beginning, and he made it V E R Y clear that he was not interested. - but yes he flirts with the male teachers a lot (he flirts with Marvin too, and Marvin just gets annoyed, although secretly he enjoys it) - he definitely complains to his students about his love life (which leads to the revelation of Marvin’s sexuality, will write more abt this later)  - the students are the biggest marvin/whizzer shippers & tries to set them up together - Takes the students out for ice cream during class sometimes, bc who the hell cares? 

TRINA  - music teacher music teacher  - she oversees choir club and drama club too :) - she acts like a mother to all her students :’))))))) - when she doesn’t have classes to teach (which compared to esp Marvin and Charlotte, she has way less) she goes out and gets coffee for everyone. (or donuts. they all love donuts) - She visits Mendel a lot bc they’re bored a lot, the rest of tkf have more classes than them. 

MENDEL  - obviously the school counselor!!!!!!! my god - right so he has a cat (THIS IS CANON) and he brings her to school sometimes, it just sits with his in his office and students just swarm his room during break times to see the cat - it becomes the Official Mascot of McKinley High - the tkf eat lunch together in his office sometimes bc its v cozy and he keeps loads of snacks there (also the cat) - students get sent to him if they cause trouble but they end up playing board games and eating snacks together and cuddling the cat - students love him and would go visit him even when they have no reason to (mainly its cuz of the cat, but the students love Mendel too don’t worry) - has had a massive crush on Trina forever, and he thinks he’s being really discreet and everything but actually literally everyone knows

 CHARLOTTE DUBOIS - teaches science !!!!! most likely chemistry  - “does loads of experiments and gets more excited about it than the students” type of teacher - always has the white lab coat on - close with Marvin, complains about their students together, and also marks papers / tests together over unhealthy amounts of coffee and red bull

 CORDELIA  - home economics :)))))  - all the students love her  - she’s supposed to be the teacher but she burns SOMETHING every time they have to cook - (the students always have the fire extinguisher ready just in case) - no she is a good cook and everything it’s just,,,, she’s also hella clumsy - The students try to set her up with Mendel at first (they’re both rays of sunshine and literally the sweetest people ever,, hear me out) but then she comes out to them - and then they decide,,,,,, Ms. Dubois was saying she needed an assistant for her chem classes 👀 👀

other things!!!!!!!!

IMPORTANT FACT: the students play matchmaker for the teachers omfg

- whizzer’s students were the first ones who told him that Marvin was gay (he’s not the type to go around yelling about it, although he’s out of the closet) when whizzer was complaining about the lack of attractive gay men in the school 

“They’re all either old, or married, or straight! Why did I decide to work here again?”

“What about Mr. Richards though?”

“the WHOMST” (secretly whizzer had his eye on marvin but assumed he was straight) (but now he thinks about it OBVIOUSLY he’d be gay)

- ALSO, Whizzer’s going home for the day when he walks past the racquetball court and sees Marvin trying to teach and failing horrifically, while the students are just laughing.

“God, have you ever heard of form?” 

and Whizzer ends up becoming coach of racquetball team. Marvin is demoted to “assistant coach” aka sulking as he loses every game to Whizzer. 

pls add more !!!!!!!!!!! I would like to see y’all’s headcanons about this :)))))

[catboythanatos]

me during act one when marvin is selfish and abusive towards his family and lover, forcing stereotypical housewife ideals onto whizzer, still feeling possesive over trina and getting angry with her for developing feelings for someone else when he does not love her anymore and has chosen to leave her:

😡😡marvin hate club😡👎

me in act two when marvin realizes his bad behavior and recognizes that it's time for him to "grow up", makes a compromise with trina, has made friends with lesbians - members of the lgbt community - his community, starts to understand and accept himself, gets back with whizzer this time treating him with respect ("all i want is you, anything you do is alright"), openly expressing his love for whizzer and for his friends and jason:

😭💘marvin love club😍👏👏