#act how i feel
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a little post act 1 drawing...
#my art#jinx#arcane#arcane enjoyers how are we feeling..............#gonna draw my man next. ok. im gnawing on a cable. i have many act 1 thoughts
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For real tho 😩
I'm trying my hardest to not act how I feel.
#actually bpd#bpd#bpd thoughts#act how i feel#bad idea#feelings#emotions#mental health#borderline personality disorder#spilled words#spilled ink#i felt that#i feel this right now#facts#emotional words#quotes#life quotes#behind bored eyes#fml#life is hard#life sucks right now#depression#depressing shit
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You both jump in place for a bit, grinning.
#this is how i feel when i talk to my online friends :)#so i animated it!!! so i can send it to people while saying IM HOLDING YOUR HANDS IM HOLDING YOUR HANDS YAY YAY YAY YIPPEE#i hope u understand they are everything 2 me. they should be the qpps ever. i think they deserve all the joy and whimsy and fun in the worl#in stars and time#isat#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#my art#my animations#technically not spoilers? tho it is inspired by a moment in act 6! teehee!
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stardust to stardust // inspiration -> "The Kiss" by Gustav Klimt
edit: reblogs r appreciated plsplspls😖💕‼️
#my art#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane act 3#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#arcane spoilers#spoilers#was it casual when we cannot exist without the other when we are both the beginning and the end ?#WAS IT CASUAL WHEN YOU PRESSED UR FOREHEAD TO MINE AS WE BECAME ONE WITH THE COSMOS AND ENDED THE CYCLE WE STARTED#WAS IT CASUAL#WAS TI????#WAS IT CASUAL WHEN MY PRIMARY MOTIVATOR WAS YOU AND ONLY YOU?#fuck bro#jayvik fans how are we feeling#this was driven by pure love for yaoi. i wasnt listening to any music while making this.#just the distant sounds of the tv playing some basketball game idgaf about
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✨ together ✨
continuation from part 2...
#arcane#arcane part 2#arcane spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#he wasn't going to let him go again#not for anything#and it ruins me#i don't know yet exactly how i feel about the last act of arcane#but i do know that these good boys being together forever~#is already more than i could have hoped for#<3 <3 <3 <3 <3#pidgy drew#digital art#artists on tumblr
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oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.
and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.
#I didn't expect it to be this soon#she's been sleeping more and urinating outside of the litter box#so I was planning on getting her on arthritis meds to see if those helped her move around better#but tonight......I know how animals act when they're dying.#something has gone wrong inside her#god these things always happen at night when the vets have closed 💀#all I can do is stay with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible#this sucks#at least she still feels good enough to eat the apple slice I'm offering and tooth-purr while being stroked
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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cait is h*rny on main
#arcane#caitvi#cait#vi#my art#i finally had some time during work to draw something qq#i needed these stupid cathartic moments it makes me feel alkve#why are these lesbians such cute fail wow#slopppyyyy (lesbians)#spoilers#tw spoilers#arcane spoilers#im trying to figure out how to spoilers#spoil#arcane season 2 act 2
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Face hurts from smiling so much but I finally met Emmy in-game!
He’s exactly as I imagined him to be, omfg. 😭🫶
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#like hello omg it feels like I’ve known him forever ahxishsk#granted it’s just first meeting but#I’m just wtf how’s he exactly as I imagined him to sound and act and poise#months of drawing him#and he’s real#I’m kinda lightheaded
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I thoroughly enjoy the stage of huskerdust where they have yet to fully admit their feelings to each other uvu <3
P2
#doodle comic from yesterday#because i am once again thinking about them#THEY ARE SO STUPID#ok no fr though i LOOOVVEE seing ppl draw them in a relationship dgmw#BUT#I juts find it SO much more fkin amazing when they are still trying to figure out how to go about their feelings and whether to act on them#or not#hehe#tribbleart#husk#angel dust#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#hazbin hotel comic#hazbin hotel fanart#<3
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The "Sansa reminds Sandor of his sister" motive that some people try to hitch to his character really just flies in the face of his actual attachments to her, doesn't it? Sansa reminds Sandor of himself. He sees the little boy who used to love knights in this girl who's been swept up by the same romanticism. He sees his abuser in her abusers, the much larger knight(s) beating on the helpless child. He sees how she is betrayed by every level of authority that should have saved her and remembers his father's neglect and Tywin and Robert's apathy for Gregor's crimes. He's protective of Sansa because he was Sansa.
And GRRM's design, that one of the strongest warriors in the series, a fearsome and cynical 6'8" guy who's "muscled like a bull" and has the face of death itself, sees himself in this soft and effeminate teen girl, and empathizes with her because he was an abuse victim too, is INFINITELY more compelling than "Oh yeah I bet she just reminds him of his sister," who he's never mentioned and who we know literally nothing about. Way to unnecessarily water down a character, you couldn't have ignored the black and white text more efficiently if you tried.
#sorry for the rant i saw this sentiment in a yt video recently#sansa stark#sandor clegane#sansan#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#and this is only one facet of why he has so much affection for her too#these people act like his attachment to her is limited to projection and not also bc she treats him like he's an actual human being#or that they can be themselves when they're with each other -that he can openly show his weakness to her and be comforted and validated#or like even just the physical attraction aspect - which is so obvious that you'd have to be willfully ignorant to miss it#how do you read him trying to kiss her and come away thinking “he thinks of her as his sister” lmfao#things that make me feel like people dont actually read the books
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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I need you to understand that the very straight and immediate line from someone's very confident "I don't like mice/I've handled mice before so I know what they're like" to joyous wonder as they hold the first calm, friendly mouse they've ever held and murmur "they're so soft/sweet/warm/gentle" practically to themselves is basically a drug
"I work at a petstore," says the young man with much disdain, "so I don't really need to hold another one. I know what they're like."
"These aren't petstore mice," I say, as I turn my hand over and the mouse holds on tighter. "They're not like any mouse you've ever held," I say, as I close my hand gently around the mouse and flip her onto her back for a second so I can touch her mouth and demonstrate how difficult it would be to get one of my mice to bite.
"I'm sure you've handled them extensively from a very young age, though."
"They haven't been handled before today, except to be moved into clean cages." She arranges herself in my hand and cleans her face. "Are you sure you don't want to hold one?"
He opens his hands, and she pours from my hand into his like a viscous liquid. She is soft and warm and sweet, and his entire face lights up when she hunkers down onto his warm hand and closes her eyes.
"....She's changing my mind."
"They tend to do that when you leave it open."
He took her and two companions home.
#mice#mouse#my pets#I LOVE bringing my mice to expos you have no idea how cool it is#the CONFIDENCE that they know what mice are about#the DISGUST I see from people can be unreal#but so many of those people come over to prove me wrong#and immediately 180#I don't know what people expect mice to feel like#my favorite are the little kids who accept the mouse into their hands#and handle them more casually than any adult#while their parent stresses and has to be reassured that the mouse won't jump#and the mice just. tolerate being manhandled. they just chill about it#they are not as chill about it with adults but little kids idk they just act different toward them#anyway I had a blast today#once again the mice were superstars there was not straight 5 minutes in a row#where I did not have a crowd around my table#I think the highest out count was 6 mice in hands at a time#personal#stories about ked's life
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Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:
If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return
If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return
My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations
My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later
That's it!
#the fucking obsession with fandom becoming ~content creation~ has got to stop. this is not a business.#i don't like it when someone acts like i owe them because they complimented my work#and i will never do that to someone else#kindness has to be freely given or it isn't kindness; it's manipulation#this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice#and that both people explicitly stated in their profiles that this is an expectation they have of fandom#you can't form a community by force. that's not how it works.#anyways. rant over. i just want it to be known that i'm not expecting anything from anyone lol#if i talk to you or hang out it's because i want to. i don't want anything from you except you know#kindness and companionship or w/e#bleargh. gonna go play a game or something.#dixeram
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