#accountability blog

[scary-stories-to-remember]

sunday, september 29th, 2024

month 1, week 3, day 1

consistency cares not for real life. last week i suffered from food poisoning, and it did temporarily throw things off. i am feeling much better and i feel very happy and good now. this week, i'm looking to be back on track so i can and do feel better than i did. i possibly have an event this weekend, and i'm very excited to go! it's a "vampire ball" and i'm hoping to go with one of my friends, if she can make the correct arrangements for it. it's probably going to be a small event, but i am excited to go nonetheless. i also made the finalizations on 2/3 of my halloween looks i have planned for this month, because halloween is a month-long affair for me. i just need to buy the things. i can still use all of the pieces later as well, which will be nice. i have the whole month to plan and get prepared.

amount of water drank: 52oz

body healthy foods eaten: chicken and cabbage taco with avocado

soul healthy foods eaten: a not-very-satisfying apple cookie

exercise done today, how much: very little walking

medication taken, how much: PM topical medication applied, birth control taken

showered today, how many times: yes, once at night

brushed teeth, how many times: yes, once in the morning, once at night

goals for the day:

have a good day

goals for the week:

complete college assignments

prepare for vampire event this weekend (nails done, outfit selected)

go to the gym 3 times this week (tuesday, wednesday, friday)

make (some) halloween purchases

goals for the month:

have a good month

be mindful with money

prepare for halloween

have at least 2 social outings with friends

manifestations:

i am in control of my own situation and my own reactions.

[improvingatart]

poses for today: done

day streak: 4

poses: 4x60s

[wordsaficionado]

This is actually such good advice, tysm

I saw a post talking about how Terry Pratchett only wrote 400 words a day, how that goal helped him write literally dozens of books before he died. So I reduced my own daily word goal. I went down from 1,000 to 200. With that 800-word wall taken down, I’ve been writing more. “I won’t get on tumblr/watch TV/draw/read until I hit my word goal” used to be something I said as self-restraint. And when I inevitably couldn’t cough up four pages in one sitting, I felt like garbage, and the pleasurable hobbies I had planned on felt like I was cheating myself when I just gave up. Now it’s something I say because I just have to finish this scene, just have to round out this conversation, can’t stop now, because I’m enjoying myself, I’m having an amazing time writing. Something that hasn’t been true of my original works since middle school. 

And sometimes I think, “Well, two hundred is technically less than four hundred.” And I have to stop myself, because - I am writing half as much as Terry Pratchett. Terry fucking Pratchett, who not only published regularly up until his death, but published books that were consistently good. 

And this has also been an immense help as a writer with ADHD, because I don’t feel bad when I take a break from writing - two hundred words works up quick, after all. If I take a break at 150, I have a whole day to write 50 more words, and I’ve rarely written less than 200 words and not felt the need to keep writing because I need to tie up a loose end anyways. 

Yes, sometimes, I do not produce a single thing worth keeping in those two hundred words. But it’s much easier to edit two hundred words of bad writing than it is to edit no writing at all.

[scary-stories-to-remember]

thursday, september 19th, 2024

month 1, week 1, day 5

today was a nice day. i feel so accomplished and tired but like i deserve to feel tired. the highlight of the day was that my mom made "deconstructed chicken pot pie" which was just like... mashed potatoes, chicken, and vegetables. it was really delicious, and i have enough for leftovers! i got all of my homework done for the week, which means my weekend is completely free now! tomorrow my after-work plans are some cleaning, nap, gym, raising cane's and then getting so unbelievably high that i can't feel my body! okay maybe not that crazy, but still pretty close.

amount of water drank: 62oz/120oz

body healthy foods eaten: protein coffee

soul healthy foods eaten: veggie pizza, deconstructed chicken pot pie (tbh this was mostly vegetables but it made my heart happy), biscuits, baked apples, ice cream

exercise done today: walking, about 1.3 miles

medication taken: morning topical medication applied, birth control taken, night topical medication applied

showered today: yes, once in the morning

brushed teeth: yes, once in the morning, once at night

goals for the day:

have a good day

complete remaining college assignments

create some stuff for work (just make it, don't finish or build off of it today)

complete child development class quiz

take notes for speech class quiz tomorrow

make payment on braces treatment

goals for the week:

have a good week

go to the gym at least 3 times this week

complete college assignments

clean guest room

make dentist payment

goals for the month:

have a good month

be mindful with money

prepare for halloween

have at least 2 social outings with friends

manifestations:

i am capable of anything and everything that i set my mind to

i am healthy

my life is and will continue to be fulfilling

i am proud of the obstacles i have overcome

i am proud of overcoming the obstacles with will come

my mind is growing every day

i am beautiful

[improvingatart]

poses for today: done

day streak: 22

poses: 3x60s

100 sessions since the 30th of july 🥳

[scary-stories-to-remember]

wednesday, september 18th, 2024

month 1, week 1, day 4

today was my longest workday of the week. the way my work schedule is currently set up is from 9 am - 12 pm, my students are in class. then the remaining 3 hours of my workday, i use as personal time to do homework or just work on personal projects i can make look like i'm doing work. on wednesdays though, i have a class from 9 am - 12 pm, and then my lunch hour, then from 1 pm - 3 pm i have another class that i assist with. wednesdays are busy, and i am usually a little more tired after the work day is done, but i push through and make it work. i am resilient. i'm extra proud of myself because i got my workday done, did my usual chores that i do after work, did 3 college assignments (3 more to go + a quiz tomorrow and on friday), went to the gym, and now i am rewarding myself with sims videos. my body is tired, but i feel wonderful. i'm looking forward to my parents being gone this weekend, i have the house to myself on friday. i already know how i'm going to celebrate. celebrate is maybe a strong word, but i'm excited for weekends, especially now that i have a cute little ritual that i do with myself. i get my favorite fast food place for dinner (if i've got the money i go to a local thai food place, but this week i've gotta save a *little* money) and then i get high enough that my autistic traits show, and i don't feel shame about it. it's strangely healing, and gives me a big mental reset. plus it helps me unmask for a few hours. overall, it's a fun coping mechanism for me. is it my best or healthiest coping mechanism? probably not, but it does make me happy.

amount of water drank: 50oz/120oz

body healthy foods eaten: protein coffee, grilled chicken, mexican rice, pinto beans, cabbage

soul healthy foods eaten: rice krispie treat

exercise done today, how much: walking, tracked 2.8 miles (mostly on an incline) may be more but wasn't carrying my phone - the outfit i wore today didn't have pockets

medication taken: morning topical medication applied, birth control taken

showered today: yes, once at night - washed hair

brushed teeth: yes, once in the morning, once at night

goals for the day:

have a good day

go to the gym

complete at least 2 college assignments

goals for the week

have a good week

go to the gym at least 3 times this week

complete college assignments

clean guest room

call dentist about payment + make payment

goals for the month

have a good month

be mindful with money

prepare for halloween

have at least 2 social outings with friends

manifestations

i am proud of what i have overcome and what i will overcome

i love my body because my body loves me

i am resilient

[improvingatart]

poses for today: done

day streak: 20

poses: 6x60s

[borderlesbian]

me fighting the urge to be such a bitch to someone bc i'm overstimulated and anxious

[scary-stories-to-remember]

tuesday, september 17th, 2024

month 1, week 1, day 3

today was a much more relaxing day compared to yesterday. my co-worker who i was having issues with was not at work today, and i got to do my favorite part of my job - actually doing my job and helping students. i also removed my acrylic nails because my nail tech said that i was going to need to put a fresh set on the next time i see her anyway, so i took them off myself because they were starting to make me upset. i ran out of the products i use to do my eyebrows, so i went and replaced them, as well as buying myself some other self-care things i needed. i have a pimple that's buried underneath my skin, so i bought some patches to get it out, as well as stuff like face wash and hair ties. yknow, the essentials. i finished the day watching taskmaster with my parents, which is always very nice. big fan of the british people. overall, today was good and productive, and i feel very postively about it.

amount of water drank: 58oz/120oz (exact amounts may be off, i do need to get a proper water bottle and calculate this better)

body healthy foods eaten: assorted vegetables and meatballs in soup, caesar salad, protein coffee

soul healthy foods eaten: crumpet with jam, bread with cheese, donut, matcha latte

exercise done today: walking 2.3 miles

medication taken: morning topical medication applied, birth control, have not applied night topical medication yet // update: applied night topical medication

showered today: yes, 1 time in the morning

brushed teeth: yes, 1 time in the morning, have not done night brushing yet // update: brushed teeth for the night

goals for the day:

have a good day

get at least 2 college assignments done

buy necessities and self-care items at the store

goals for the week:

have a good week

clean guest room

complete college assignments

go to the gym 3 times this week

call the dentist about treatment payment + make payment

goals for the month:

have a good month

be mindful with money

create a makeup look

preparing for halloween

have at least 2 social outings with friends

manifestations:

i am in control of myself, my feelings, my actions, and my destiny

there is a plan for me, and i will fulfill that plan

my family is loving and supportive

i am worthy of love and support

i am allowed to take care of myself

i am allowed to be happy

[improvingatart]

poses for today: done

day streak: 19

poses: 3x60s