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severinewrites · 12 days ago

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The Way of The Samurai: The Hidden Philosophy of Samurai Jack

Meditation scene (Samurai Jack, Season 5 Episode 7 XCVIII)

Samurai Jack, a masterpiece, goes beyond being just a cartoon, exploring deep philosophical ideas that connect audiences of all generations. This series, made by Genndy Tartakovsky, it tells the adventure of a samurai warrior who is sent to the future by the evil Aku. While exploring the dystopian world, Jack thinks about Bushido, the code of honor and morals created by the Japanese samurai. He also thinks about philosophical questions about fate, choice, and the concept of morality.

You may wonder why I am analyzing a "kids' show", you might think it's a bit silly for a young adult like me to ever talk about this show even though it's never a kid's show to begin with. By reading the word "cartoon", you may think this is some childish show for children only, but no, it is not. Samurai Jack is a show where you learn so much, much better than what you learned in school or even what adults teach you about wisdom. This series has influenced us in how we think, act, and choose our own decisions in life, better than how schools teach us to be prepared for the future. This tackles topics such as frustration, blood lust, apathy, anger, wisdom, suffering, and acceptance. As we delve into this discussion, I will talk about why we should admire the hidden philosophical meanings of Samurai Jack.

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Samurai Jack is a very interesting character. He spent all his time in the future for over 50 years, and he almost gave up on ever going back to the past. When Aku sent him to the future, he was saddened and confused but refused to; he didn't give up and he still has this youthful optimism that he'll always find the way.

"It always seems bad at first, but then you find a way".

- Samurai Jack, S5 Episode 2 XCIII

This quote explains how he'll always find the way, even if it is hard to handle. This also relates to how we handle challenges in our daily lives and try to bounce back from them.

As the story progresses to a mature tone in season 5, they start to feel more suicidal and hopeless, which drives them to commit suicide by performing a ceremonial ritual "Seppuku" is a form of taking one's life that was considered an honor among the feudal Japanese samurai class. Based on Tartakovsky, they explained that they were meant to sacrifice and that they were meant to be tragic. Since all hope is lost for them, they decide to perform a ritual where they can take their own lives to honor their ancestors. This became a turning point for our main character, who has lived many lives. They saw a bad future and couldn't save their family, friends, and the people around them. They became a failure to their people. Luckily, they can get a connection with Ashi, a friend, and their partner. They save Jack from committing suicide, which makes them live to defeat Aku to save everyone around them. Everyone needs someone who can lift them up when feeling down or giving up their own life. Some people try to find a sense of meaning in life.

Seppuku scene (Samurai Jack, Season 5 Episode 6 XCVII)

In this one episode, when Jack kills the first human, one of the Daughters of Aku, he feels guilty because he has no choice. He isn't aware they are humans. In this series, he never, not once killed a human before. It's always robots, insects, you know it. This is why he feels regret, because all of the daughters of Aku are misguided and blindsided by the cult they are raised in. It's tragic. He has no choice because they wanted to murder him and he needs to defend himself and most importantly, stay alive.

This leads to his inner demons coming out, blood lust.

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In episode 3 of Season 5, we saw a backstory of his father slaughtering his enemies. Before he fights them, he asks them this:

Your choices have clearly led you here, as have mine.

I will give you a new choice, Leave now and live or stay and face your destiny!

- Father of Samurai Jack

They gave a chance for his enemies to live, but the enemies decided to kill them, so the father lets out their sword and slaughters them one to one.

Young Jack was confused back then, still innocent, and tried to process why his father did that. The father explained to him, "The decisions you make and the actions that follow are a reflection of who you are. You cannot hide from yourself."

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I apologize, I can't find another video so this is the only video I got :'(

If you tell me, how does this relate to Eastern philosophy? Some of the series' moments feature Jack's beliefs and culture. We can see their childhood before Aku arrived to destroy their world. Even in later seasons, we saw them meditating in episode 7, season 5, and meeting a monk to guide them to the "truth" and "overcome" their fear. They seek guidance from the monk to help them with their Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and heal them physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Based from the comment in this clip of the episode:

A comment from the video (Jack confronts his inner demons)

We might misinterpret criticism to bring us down or insult you unintentionally. I have one friend who's a friend they had lost through misinterpretation and it's often why such friendships break because of it. Jack's situation is getting worse, so the monk tells them the tea is bad. They wanted to tell them his situation was bad, especially being stuck in the future for 50 years. Mistaking kindness and help for criticism may lead to much frustration if you are so focused on anger so much.

This is Sado, or "tea ceremony," is a traditional Japanese art form that embodies the spirit of "wabi-sabi," a philosophy that values refinement, aged appearances, and loneliness. It involves boiling water, making tea, and serving it in a simple tea room. The process, including etiquette, hospitality, and room decorations, is considered art, creating a spiritual beauty that is the essence of Sado. I found comments in the video, the reasons why the monk said "this is terrible" because the tea lacked the most important ingredient — BALANCE.

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This episode highlights the important lessons of patience and trust in the process. If you want to find the truth, you should be able to find meaning for yourself. Throughout his journey, Jack learns the importance of patience and mindfulness. He often practices meditation and other forms of spiritual discipline to center himself and gain the truth.

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There is also Good vs. Evil in this show. The good is Jack, the symbol of a savior and a warrior to save the people they love while there's Aku, the merciless demon who killed billions of innocents. In Eastern philosophy, there is no ultimate good or evil and it is only relative good and evil.

"All undertakings are beset with imperfections, as fire with smoke"

(Gita 18.48)

The show explores the struggle between good and evil, personified by Jack and Aku, respectively. It raises questions about the nature of morality, the consequences of abuse of power, and the determination of hope in the darkest of times. Like the symbol of yin and yang, opposite forces are interconnected and counterbalance each other. The yin-yang symbol, which depicts this concept, is often used to represent the pursuit of balance in life. Without evil, there's no good; without good, there's no evil. Balance is important; regarding Taoism and Buddhism. It places great importance on the idea of balance. Taoism, for example, emphasizes the principle of Yin and Yang, where opposite forces complement each other to create harmony. Both good and evil are needed to create a compelling story. When it comes to shows like Samurai Jack, it explores both sides in a balanced way possible.

Through the end of the series finale, peace is restored, and Ashi and Jack prepare to marry, but on her way to the altar, she suddenly collapses, as slaying Aku invalidates her existence, causing her to fade away. The series ends with a grieving Jack smiling when he watches a ladybug land on his hand and then fly free in a grove of blossoming Sakura trees.

The message the show was trying to convey was that life is about the journey you face, even if it's a bittersweet one. Despite achieving his 50-year goal, Jack still feels empty inside. His true home was in the future, but he realized his true love was in the future. A ladybug, representing truth and a new beginning, lands on Jack's finger, reminding him of this. This may be a tragic ending, yes but it helps us move on in our lives even if it hurts.

Ladybug scene (Samurai Jack, Season 5 Episode 10 CII)

To conclude, this show has wonderful philosophies we could all learn in our daily lives. Samurai Jack delves into deeper philosophical themes. It explores the struggle between good and evil, the power of perseverance, the value of patience and mindfulness, and the importance of balance and acceptance. The series' conclusion emphasizes the greater good, the nature of time and fate, the impermanence (the quality of not lasting forever or for a long time) of all things, and the feeling of hope and never giving up.

Thank you for listening!

- Sincerely, Severine.

#samurai jack #character analysis #philosophy #just yappin #spoilers #suicide mention #Youtube #cartoon network #first blog #writers in tumblr #long ass post #eastern philosophy #genndy tartakovsky

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kyndredravenstories · 2 months ago

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Eyes of Infinity: Delirium Chapter 11

Hello, I have been posting my work on AO3 and recently decided to venture here to Tumblr. Please note: This story is 18+. No minors. Please read tags carefully. Link to AO3 below but I will also be posting the chapters here.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53564641/chapters/149422321

Pairing: Sylus/Female MC with some elements of Xavier/Female MC

Genre: Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Adventure, Smut, Porn with Big Plot and Big Feelings

Content Warning (For the entire fic): Explicit sexual content, spoilers and alterations to existing lore and cards/memories/tender moments/secret times, size kink, size difference, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, anal sex, fingering, all kinds of fingering, elements of consensual somno, dom!Sylus, jealousy, possessive!Sylus, Mephisto stalking, typical game violence, battle and combat, PTSD

Summary: To love him meant stepping over the threshold and crossing into darkness. To be with him meant accepting the lure of the shadows. And to protect him from betrayal meant sacrifice. I knew not how, only that I would not let time sever our paths ever again.

Previous Chapters: Ch 1 / Ch 2 / Ch 3 / Ch 4 / Ch 5 / Ch 6 / Ch 7 / Ch 8 / Ch 9 / Ch 10

I am a Hunter, and I'm straight as an arrow. But, even I break the rules at times. I had certainly saved plenty of people in Linkon in my time fighting Wanderers, so it's no surprise that I have quite a few individuals that 'owe me one'. As I prepare for meeting Malakai, I remember a certain shop keep that operates a semi-illegal arms pawn and trade shop known as the "Crate" in the Auric Sector. My guns might not be enough to give me an edge against Malakai, so I decide to pay the "Crate" a visit.

A few stops on the bullet train takes me there in less than thirty minutes. When I walk in, his son gives me a glare that could melt rock. I hold my head high, unfazed. I'm used to confrontations like this. Though most people are usually glad to see Hunters about, not all citizens are happy to have us interfere in their business. As though nothing is amiss, I walk up to the counter and lean against it. Around me, the walls and displays are lined with all kinds of weapons and ammo. Guns, blasters, spears, wands, and even swords. Some are innovative models, others are off-brand Hunter copies.

"Fireborne," the man across from me sneers. He's short with sideburns that are too long and greasy hair that could have used a wash last month. "Thought you were on suspension."

I give him a winning smile. "Maybe I should tag a couple of fines to your books this month and see if they'll end my medical leave early as a reward." We stare each other down until he reaches for a gun that's strapped to his hip. I keep my cool. Even an idiot like this wouldn't dare to attack a Hunter out in broad daylight.

"Get away from her, Gary," an old grizzled voice shouts from the back room. A wrinkled man with tanned skin and a head of white hair limps out, leaning heavily on a long black cane.

"Alren," I nod respectfully.

"Ellara, what brings you to my neck of the armory?" the store owner asks. As he approaches, his son, Gary, slinks away. Alren's eyes fall on Mephisto who's calmly perched on my shoulder. "And what's with the bird?"

"New pet I picked up," I explain, ignoring Mephisto's frustrated grunt. I point to the display case I'm leaning on. "Listen, I'm going to a meet up tonight and things are probably going to get hairy. I need something small but potent. Something I could hide in a skirt."

Alren gives me a one over and crosses his arms over his chest. "You're on suspension, so I assume you can't pay for this trinket you're needing?"

"Right as usual," I nod sheepishly.

"I do owe you my life, Ell." He lets out a long sigh and scratches the back of his head. "Let me see what I can do."

He takes me through several display cases and shows me quite a few different gadgets on his walls. None of them really strike me as what I would need. After nearly an hour, we make it to one of the front-most display cases. The 'real expensive stuff' as Alren puts it.

"Grenades?" I frown. "The place I'm going to is public. I don't want collateral damage."

Alren pulls out a box about five inches in width. He pops open the lid to reveal a thin narrow cylindrical object. It's silvery. Curious, I reach for it, but Alren gives me a warning glare.

"See that ridge at the top? That's the pin. Pop it off with your nail and you'll make us both deaf."

"A stun grenade?"

Alren nods. "But localized. Smaller. More temporary effects. Good for sticky situations and undetectable to scanners."

I'm instantly in love. "How much?"

"Too much for a Hunter salary," he chortles. With another sigh, he pats my back. "It's on the house. After this consider us even."

It doesn't fit in my skirt, but I do manage to hide it inside the inner pocket of my chest piece. After leaving the "Crate", I make my way back to the Destiny Café. Unfortunately, my trip there doesn't yield anything useful. As expected, there is no information on any reservations for private rooms at 9 PM tonight. I end up touring a few of the rooms then heading back out to grab a bite to eat and to try to text Xavier again.

The day passes in the blink of an eye, and the time for the meetup arrives too swiftly. My messages to Xavier hang as "delivered" but still unread. At some point, Mephisto flies off somewhere, and no more texts or calls come through on my phone. Just as I suspected earlier, I'm alone in this.

As my watch signals 8:59 PM, I have no choice but to proceed inside.

After eight o'clock, the Destiny Café transitions to its nighttime décor. The bright daylight bulbs are dimmed and warm orange-tinted lights give the place a cozy firelight feel. The area for the internet café comes alive with multicolored LED signs and patterns. The computers there glow and pulse in a row of rainbow keyboards and mice. The coffee bar is still going strong, serving those who are more active during the dark hours of the clock.

It's a fairly busy night, and the rooms and seats are mostly all occupied. As I enter through the door, a pleasant chime calls the waiters' attention to my presence. I leave my winter coat at their valet check-in, and the servers wave and ask if there's anything I need. I'm about to have a seat in one of the chairs when my phone goes off with the same eerie melody from earlier.

"Ask for the Red Room."

I'm not surprised that Malakai already knows I'm here. My belly churns with a burst of adrenaline as I go up to the customer service desk. Am I ready for this? Probably not. Even with a trick like the grenade up my sleeve, I won't be able to do much if this is an ambush with a group of trained fighters. This is especially true now that I don't have my Evol to help me.

I take a deep breath.

Well, here goes nothing.

"Hello," I greet the young woman at the counter. "I have a reservation for the Red Room."

The girl looks confused, and while she's checking her tablet for something, a man approaches us in uniform from the coffee bar. He has an athletic build, and his appearance is well-kempt. I can't tell his age, though he seems to be older than I am. Xavier's age, maybe.

"I'll handle this, Lara," he tells the girl then turns to me. "This way please, miss."

I follow him down the hall, but he doesn't take us to any of the private rooms. Instead, he pauses at a narrow door labeled "Staff Only". With a flick of his wrist, he scans his bracelet against the keypad. The light on it turns green, and I hear the sound of a lock opening. The man gestures for me to go inside and hands me an earpiece.

"Thank you, um..." I didn't get his name, so I flounder.

"Isaiah," he says with a polite smile then turns on his heel and walks away. As he does, I press my lips together, pop in the earpiece, and tug open the door. As I do, I pull out one of my guns and unlock the safety. I don't care if I look paranoid. If this really is an ambush, I'll only get one chance to defend myself.

As soon I'm inside, the door locks into place behind me.

Well, shit.

When someone tries to capture you, you break their neck. Not their leg.

Sylus's voice echoes in my mind as I examine the room. It's empty, and there's not much to see. As I might have expected, the room itself doesn't have a touch of red in it. The name is simply code. Other than the odd entrance, though, it looks just like every other private room in the Café. Well, maybe not every room. Embedded in the back wall right next to the stylish arrangement of table and chairs is a large fish tank. It's illuminated and gives the room a pleasant cozy feel.

I walk up to the tank. It's taller than I am, taking up almost half of the entire wall. Strangely, it's empty, as though the owner hasn't finished setting it up yet. I try to see the other side of it, but there's too many plants and decorations to get a clear view. Still, I get the feeling that there's something behind it.

My heart is pounding, and I can't focus. Antsy, I check my watch.

9:10 PM

I start when static hisses across my earpiece for a moment before a familiar voice resounds within.

"You've come armed to a business meeting?"

Malakai.

I'd forgotten how much he reminds me of my dead brother.

I steel myself against those thoughts in particular. There's no room for my trauma to rear its head tonight. I need to stay focused.

"I still have no idea who you really are or what you want," I tell him calmly. "You text me out of the blue on an unregistered phone and invite me to meet you alone. And, what? You expect me to come in here and offer myself on a silver platter?"

A huffing sound. "I suppose I should start with an introduction, then."

"Seems right since you apparently know everything about me," I snap.

"Indeed. Since you came all this way, and since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on, 'guess there's no harm in it." A beat, then -- "I'm Malakai Noxis."

My hands tighten on my weapon and my blood runs cold.

Noxis?

Like the organization we've been hunting for months?

The implications cut me to the quick.

"I see I've struck you speechless."

"You're not just a buyer..."

He makes a sound of amusement. "How in the world did I leave that impression?"

So, the masked man I'd met at the Mythe was the leader of Noxis? He was responsible for its creation and all of the terrible ripples it had caused among society? All those deaths. All that suffering. And now, even my own condition. He was to blame for all of it?

"That changes things," I frown, resetting my grip on my gun.

"For you, maybe. But you haven't even heard what I've come to offer."

I bite my lip, keeping my simmering anger at bay. "Didn't think I was dealing with a coward who wanted to talk over an earpiece. Why'd you even invite me here if you weren't going to come in person?"

"Last time we met, you couldn't stop staring at me like I was a ghost. It wasn't pleasant. I wonder, do I look so much like someone you regret losing?"

"Don't change the topic."

"I wasn't. Or did you think only certain organizations could afford to buy explosives?"

I waver on my feet, leaning against the tank in front of me. "What did you say?"

"You're a smart girl. I don't think I need to repeat myself."

My mind goes blank as I try to wrap my head around what he's telling me. He mentioned explosives and losing people important to me. He could have looked up my history; he likely did already. Is he messing with my head? Or, is he taking responsibility for Caleb and Grandma's deaths? Is he admitting that it wasn't Onychinus, but Noxis that blew a crater in my life less than a year ago?

No.

Not just Noxis.

The man I'm speaking with right now.

I shudder. My hands lower even further. As I start to breathe faster in panic, I try to yank myself back into focus. There's no proof. Bring me proof. Otherwise, he could just be toying with me to throw me off kilter.

"Lies," I rasp. "You're lying."

"You think so?"

"What reason do I have to believe you?"

"Open the drawer to your left."

I look in that direction and step over to a short table with a ceramic blue vase on top of it. It has a single drawer, and with a shaking hand I reach out and open it. My heart nearly stops as I pull out a broken pair of glasses that I recognize too well. It's Grandma's. There's a piece of a charm chain hanging from the side. A Christmas gift from me. The metal is burned, and one of the lenses is missing. The lens that remains has a drop of dried and crusted blood smeared on its surface. I can't help it. I drop them to the floor and reel back.

"Judging by your reaction, I assume you recognize them."

It can't be.

"You...you...killed them..." But, why? Why tell me all this? Why bring me here? Surely he knows that the moment I see him, I'm going to break every single bone in his body. His face first. Just like I've always imagined doing to my family's killer.

I'll punch him again and again.

Then shoot him until he's full of holes and bleeding out at my feet.

"I like this look on your face," Malakai says. "The setup was worth it."

I look up and around the room, but I don't see any cameras. Where is he watching me from? Nausea claws at my gut, and I push it down. Bastard is watching me from somewhere. Watching and laughing at my pain and my sorrow. Well, I won't have it. I'm not his mobile entertainment, and I'm certainly not here to play around. Glancing at the tank, I suddenly get an idea. If I'm wrong, I'm about to get in a lot of trouble.

But, at this point -- fuck it all.

I raise my gun and point it at the fish tank. No hesitation. No doubt. No stops.

I pull the trigger.

It's reinforced, but not against my caliber of bullet. The cracks creep up the sides of the tank.

Pop

Crackle

Pop

Bang!

The glass shatters, and a wave after wave of water pours and guzzles out of the tank.

Beyond, I see a shadow of a man standing in the darkness.

"I think it's time we stopped playing games," Malakai growls in my earpiece.

He raises his hand, and an invisible force wraps around my whole body. I gasp in shock and panic as that same something moves me by force and presses me flush against the opposite wall. It's a sickening feeling, cold and vile. Even when Sylus had once used his Evol against me, it didn't feel like this. Sylus always controlled his strength, always avoided hurting me. No such mercy here; I'm struggling to breathe; my bones are about to break, my entire body on the verge of being crushed.

I try to speak, but nothing comes out.

I can't see anything past the wall in front of me.

Sounds around me.

Crunching glass and sloshing water.

Footsteps behind.

"Drop the gun," Malakai commands, his voice real now, not part of a transmission. The Evol presses harder against my hands, and I hang onto my weapon with everything I have. It hurts, but I refuse to let him have what he wants so easily. My skin breaks out in cold sweat. The footsteps come closer and closer. My heart lurches in panic when a pair of large hands settles over mine.

"I'd hate to break these pretty little fingers," Malakai drawls right beside me.

"F...uck...you..." I manage to get out past his restraints.

A pause, then laughter. He's laughing, and it's horrible because it sounds just like Caleb. But, not. Not like him after all. This laugh is full of hate. It's bitter and toxic.

"Should you speak that way to the man who's come to save you?"

"Let...go....we'll see who's...laughing then..."

He makes a sarcastic sound of dismissal. But, I must have distracted him because the force on my body weakens somewhat. I'm not about to waste this opportunity. This man murdered my family. I don't have time for mind games or whatever it is he wants to play. I'm sick of being tossed around like a rag doll, both by my enemies and by fate. I'm sick of being a weakling, and I'm sick of needing to rely on someone else.

I'm done. I'm over it!

I feel the Evol around my body, can almost see it. If only I could Resonate. If only I could mimic this frequency. I want to throw it back at him. I want him to feel what it's like to be a breath away from your lungs being torn apart. My whole body hurts; my eyes sting in response to the lack of oxygen. But, if he thinks he's going to make me black out and take me somewhere, he's wrong. I'll be damned if I let him capture me. I'll be damned if I have to feel weak ever again!

"Do as you're told. If you want to live, it won't be the last time you'll have to listen to what I say."

I see red.

My heart pounds in my ears.

I drop my gun, simultaneously using the chance to lift my bound wrists to rest against my chest. I struggle. I put everything I have into reaching for the grenade hidden in my shirt.

Malakai shifts behind me. "That's more like it. Ready to talk now?" he asks, his voice edged and gruff.

"Let...go...first..."

"No, I think we'll do it this way."

The force around my neck backs off somewhat, and I rush to take in a deeper breath. With the pressure gone, I cough. I'm dizzy, but not so much that I can't think straight. I just need to reach my inner pocket. Just a few inches. If only I could move my hand a little.

His palm appears in my line of vision. He's holding a tiny red vial no bigger than my thumb. There's a clear liquid inside. As though baiting me, he shakes it.

"Do you know what this is?" he asks. "I'm sure you do. It's what you came for." He pulls back his hand, and I hear him tucking the vial into his clothes. "One dose is all you need to detox."

I can speak normally now, and I use it to my advantage. "You're not just selling the LUMINIS. You're selling the antidote, too."

"Not yet. This vial is a single prototype. First you breed a dependent market. Then you hold the cure hostage. Isn't that just good business?"

"So many people have died..."

"I call it a learning curve..."

"You despicable bastard." I wiggle my fingers. Just a little more. I can feel the edge of the grenade with the pad of my index finger. Come on. I can do this. Keep him talking.

He chuckles. "Don't be so harsh. Or so quick to judge."

"So what do you want with me?"

A pause as he considers it. "Your heart, of course. The Aether Core. I'd think you'd know that by now."

"Why don't you just kill me and take it then?" My index finger snags the grenade.

"That would be a waste," he sighs. "I think you'll be more useful alive."

"So you want to use me for your science experiments?" My middle finger wraps around the metal. "How does that make you any different from Onychinus?"

The atmosphere around us changes. The air grows colder somehow. As I manage to get a third finger around the grenade, his footsteps come closer. I hiss as he grabs my hair and roughly pulls my head back.

"Don't compare me to those fools," he growls. The force around me weakens just a little more. It's marginal, but it's enough. My thumb makes contact with the weapon, and I can move my wrist.

"Is that your offer, then? You give me the antidote and I become your lab rat?"

He starts to say something, but I don't wait for him to finish. I use the nail of my thumb to pop out the cap on the grenade and flick my wrist to send it falling to the ground.

Ping ping ping splash!

It makes a quiet sound as it falls into the water. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath. Beside me, I hear Malakai gasp.

The grenade goes off, but I don't register the sound. In a split second, I can't hear anything except my own breathing. I'm pushed even farther against the wall. The force around my body fades away, and I'm thrown sideways. Without missing a beat, I drop to the ground and feel around for my gun. The frigid water from the broken tank saturates my clothes. There's about an inch of it on the ground at my feet.

Blinking open my eyes, I ignore the bright splotches of light in them as I scramble to find Malakai. He's a few feet away, laying on his back. There's blood at his temple, and he groans in pain. I've stunned him. Bless you, Alren. You've probably saved my skin.

My world tilts and dips as I force myself to get to my feet. The grenade managed to affect me too, but it's not nearly as severe as Malakai. Stumbling over to him, I drop on top of him and point the gun barrel to his forehead. My breaths come in short staccato bursts, my hands shaking. I can't focus on anything except my fury now.

Murderer. Murderer! Pull the trigger. Pull it. My family will be avenged! The antidote is on him. I just have to take it. Then everything will be fine again. I can go back to being a Hunter. I can get my life back. Everything can go back to normal again. He's insane. He's responsible for so many deaths. He wants to capture me and dissect me. If I don't kill him now --

"You've gotten stronger, pip-squeak," Malakai groans softly beneath me.

My tunnel vision widens from the spot on his forehead where I'm pressing the gun. Black hair swims into my line of sight. Violet eyes next. Deep and sorrowful. No longer a stranger's eyes; no longer a stranger's voice. Blood surrounds us in the water. Not mine. The face looking up at me is mine though. My brother. The brother that I'd buried and mourned and missed.

Slowly, the pieces come together, and suddenly I can't breathe again. I start to pull back, but Malakai's Evol clamps around me and holds me still.

"No. Keep the gun right there," he says. His Evol tightens around me until it hurts. I grit my teeth and shift my fingers back to the trigger. "That's it. The second you move that away from me," his eyes darken. "Well, you'll definitely regret it."

"C-Caleb...Caleb..." It takes me a minute to realize I'm repeating his name like a broken record under my breath. "No...no...no...it's impossible...impossible..."

"Why?" he asks. "You buried an empty casket. You never looked for me."

"D-dead...you're..."

Droplets of water fall down and land on his cheeks.

Tears?

My tears?

But, I'm so numb. I can't feel anything.

"I'm right here," he smiles, and it's a mockery. All of it. A damn joke. A prank. It has to be.

"Caleb...Caleb..."

More droplets falling to his cheeks.

For a moment, his eyes soften. He reaches up and strokes the side of my face.

And then something rips a hole in the wall behind us. With a new path created for its passage, the excess water flushes out of the room through the void. Someone steps inside, stride by powerful stride.

Silver hair.

Red eyes.

Furious, blazing, glowing red.

"Sylus," Caleb's smile turns venomous. "At last you arrive. I did expect you to show up earlier."

Despite the storm in his gaze, Sylus's expression is mildly amused. He moves to stand a few feet from us. I know that stance. I know the meaning of the arrogant tilt to his chin and the thrill to the curve of his mouth. In this moment, he's come to claim a life. For a minute, he just stands and stares down at us, though he doesn't acknowledge me at all.

"Not going to say anything?" Caleb challenges.

Sylus's smirk widens. "I don't deal with dead men."

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm throwing my arms out to the sides and trying to block my brother with my body.

"No," I whimper. "Please, no. You can't. He's...he's..."

Sylus takes a few more steps towards us.

One.

Then another.

I shake my head, tears flowing freely down my face.

"No...no...no...you can't...you can't! I won't let you!"

Standing directly above us now, Sylus looks displeased. His eyes rove over me. There is no mercy in them. No empathy.

"Don't force me to make you move aside," he warns, his tone steady and calm.

I shake my head. "Please...please...don't..."

"Now that you're here, let's get the show on the road," behind me, Caleb shifts. I hear him mumble something else, but I can't make it out. He reaches for something in his pocket.

Sylus's hand flies out. He pulls me against him then turns us as though shielding me.

My mind catches up. Caleb's words finally register.

An eye for an eye.

Just as I feel Sylus's Evol wrap around us, an inferno swallows us whole. The explosion is deafening, and I can do nothing but scream and press my hands over my ears. The roar of the flames envelops us like a monstrous tidal wave. The heat scorches at my back and shoulders. We're going to burn alive at this rate, and there's absolutely nothing I can do. My surroundings bend, shift, and blur together.

Then, silence.

Silence and distorted sound.

Clean, crisp winter air nips at my exposed arms and legs.

We've Jumped.

I blink open my eyes and see that we're outside in the snow. Still reeling, I hear screams and clamoring. People are running down the street. Emergency sirens are wailing. Someone's tripped the PA system to call for Hunters and Fire Marshall support. Black thick smoke billows upwards into the night sky. As my thoughts sharpen, I recognize the blazing building.

It's the Destiny Café.

How odd. I don't remember coming here. The last thing I recall was sitting in my apartment and reading a book.

I smell rusted metal.

I look down at my hands.

They're covered in red. Deep, dark, red that looks almost black in the moonlight.

At last, I look up at the person I'm embracing and meet equally crimson eyes. My heart melts at the sight of his face. I'm relieved. My arms are wrapped around Sylus, and he's warm and sturdy and real. So much time has passed since we spoke. I was starting to fear that he'd forgotten me.

My relief is short lived as I see that his back is coated in blood. That's what's all over my palms. His jacket is gone, and his shirt is torn. His lips are moving, but I can't hear what he's saying.

That seems to upset him.

"Ellara," he calls my name.

I hear him this time.

"Sylus...you've come..."

He shakes my shoulder and holds something in front of my face. A small red vial no bigger than my thumb. Clear liquid moves inside. Something about that vial spears me through the heart as soon as I see it. But, I don't want to think about that right now. There's no reason to; not now.

My cheeks feel cold.

"Drink it," he says to me. "Now."

"What is it?"

"Drink," he says again in a rough impatient tone. "Don't make me tell you again."

I take the vial, and he helps me tip it into my mouth. It's tasteless and odorless.

Strange. Why are my hands shaking?

And then the blood catches my attention again. "Are you hurt?"

He smiles and strokes the top of my head. "It's not my blood," he says as always. He's lying, but I don't want to think about that either. As he reassures me, the fluid on my hands glows red and turns to ash.

I touch my face, wiping away tears.

Sylus stands up and offers me a hand. I take it, letting him help me to my feet.

"Looks like there's been a fire," I say, feeling strangely sleepy all of a sudden.

Sylus makes a sound of agreement.

"How come you're here?" I ask.

"Do you not remember calling for me?" he tilts his head. His expression is still steady, controlled. But his eyes give him away. There's concern there, deep within.

"Ah..." I rub my temple. "Sorry, I'm a bit tired. I guess I haven't been sleeping well."

"If you're tired, you can rest in my arms," he says, holding them out. I step into them, pressing my cheek against his chest. He feels warm and safe, as always.

"Will you take me home?"

He nods. "If that's where you wish to go."

I close my eyes. "Please don't leave me alone again."

His arms tighten around me. "I won't," he promises, and I pray that this time he's telling me the truth.

#eyes of infinity delirium #love and deepspace #love and deepspace fanfic #sylus love and deepspace #sylus x mc #sylus/mc #sylusposting #sylus #lnds #lnds xavier #lnds fanfic #lnds sylus

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demonslayedher · 2 years ago

Note

How would the rest of the story play out if Mitsuri was actually filling in for Kyojurou during the Infinity Train arc?

In reference to this joke of a post, most excellently transformed into art here (thank you, it's amazing and I still love it)!

Of course, it was only meant to be a joke because it fixes only one problem of that night; that Akaza won't stay and fight if it means crossing hands with a girl. It leaps with Love Breath flamboyance over the whole issue of the train crashing after having turned into a demon and the whole getting crushed inside one's dreams thing. Mitsuri might have the love-for-all-people power to save over 200 passengers and deal major internal damage to Enmu, albeit with potentially less clear instructions to her juniors and needing a moment to calm and realize there's got to be a head somewhere to cut off. However, if you let Mitsuri accomplish her dreams inside her dreams, I hate to say it, but everyone might be done for. She fights with her gut and her guts loves and trusts people. Even if she has an inkling that something is off, she's got a history of denying herself her own feelings and the "oh, danger!" push might come too late.

But this is a Fix-It AU, we're fixing it with Nezuko befriending Mitsuri before the tickets get punched (despite the stares of other passengers), and when Nezuko's playmates fell asleep, she didn't like the menacing looks of the people coming in with ropes, so she burned the ropes (and inadvertently, the tickets) and starting trying to wake up Tanjiro and Mitsuri right away. That probably makes Enmu confused as hell about whats going on, so maybe he and Nezuko duke it out a bit before the others finally wake up, and he hasn't made much progress on oneness with the train, so Mitsuri offs him before he ever got to do much.

Maybe Akaza shows up. Maybe he leaves before they notice him. Maybe he shows up while Enmu is in peril and he gives the train a punch to tell Enmu to shape up in there and not embarrass Muzan, resulting in Mitsuri saving 200 passengers anyway.

Since Mitsuri witnesses Nezuko fight and protect the passengers, she sings Nezuko's praises far and wide, contributing to the others accepting her better (however begrudingly), especially Rengoku, whom she reintroduces Tanjiro to, so he can inquire about Hinokami Kagura. Tanjiro becomes Rengoku's Tsuguko. This AU continues to fix everything! Senjuro still has a bit of a toothache, though, sacrifices had to be made. At some point Tanjiro will headbutt Shinjuro anyway and Rengoku stepping in to defend his Tsuguko leads to a change of heart and positive character development for Shinjuro after all. Senjuro's really gonna need that tooth pulled with how well this is going.

Mitsuri stops by the Butterfly Mansion more to visit Nezuko, so this means more on-screen interactions between Mitsuri and Shinobu. Did I say 'more'? I meant 'finally some.'

Not having had the extreme failure to drive them, maybe the Kamaboko boys wouldn't had worked as hard on training the four months before... nah, Rengoku training them all, they'll be fine in Yoshiwara. They still generally reside at the Butterfly Mansion because Shinobu accepted official responsibility for Tanjiro and Nezuko.

Iguro hates how much Mitsuri talks about the Kamados. Tanjiro gets death threats from both Haganezuka and a mystery hater with nice handwriting.

Fighting Hantengu goes smoother because Tanjiro and Mitsuri are already familiar enough with each other that they fight well together. And since he's alive and well, Rengoku is there too! Maybe even fighting alongside Muichiro and being the first to warmly congratulate him on having his memories back. Oh my heart, I want this. Also, after meeting Genya, Rengoku keeps making conversation about him to Sanemi, who can't manage to pull the "I have no brother" line when Rengoku is so aware of the truth. This leads to some kind of socially award situation in which the Shinazugawa brothers have to get along.

And... and 'cause this is a fix-it AU Akaza is no match for Rengoku and Giyuu combined, and... and somehow or another Rengoku saves 200 Demon Slayers in the Mugen-jo. Is that too much to ask of this AU?? Argh... probably. This is where I leave the rest up to your imaginations. Keep pulling Senjuro's teeth if you must.

#kny fix it au #kanroji mitsuri #rengoku kyoujurou #rengoku kyojuro

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ultraericthered · 2 months ago

Text

Respectfully, I'd say you missed the boat here, but I think you might've missed the whole harbor.

The anime's ending to Kurama and Mariko's arc was dreadful and completely antithetical to what the point of it was in the manga. Kurama decided he wanted to be a horrible person and a horrible father to the very end, with his way of "taking responsibility" for his sins and the sins of his child being this cowardly murder-suicide where he dies along with Mariko, abandoning Nana in doing so, and getting an easy form of "redemption" where he doesn't have to stick around to put in an effort to make any more reparations for the harm he'd caused. The anime frames this as the right decision and tries to pull at your heartstrings, but what's actually being depicted on-screen is the final selfish decision of a selfish man. Compare with the manga where Kurama can't bring himself to take his own life and realizes that Mariko saved him from being killed by Lucy because she wanted him to live on, atone for his wrongs as a parent by being the papa to Nana he never was to Mariko, and build a new life for himself where he can make amends for his past sins. Actually living with what he's done and doing his best to both move beyond them and make up for them is taking responsibility. Doing what anime!Kurama did is avoiding responsibility.

It's a nice little moment between Lucy and Nana, but the whole context kind of ruined it for me. Like, was I really supposed to believe that Lucy was making a big sacrifice of her life against some random soldiers with guns? LUCY, who we've seen tear through armed men with relative ease before and do things that such people could never be capable of effectively matching or countering? Lucy's implied survival was not remotely a surprise when I never bought she was in danger of dying to begin with.

The scene with Kouta and Lucy was also ass, and more of the anime showing you something repulsive while romanticizing it and framing it as though it's something beautiful and profound. While I'm thankful for no cousin incest, I could never ever buy that Kouta would ever choose Lucy. In the manga, it's Nyu who he falls in love with and wants to stay with him. His feelings for the original Kaede personality are complicated at best, but her slaughtering his family and traumatizing him for years is understandably a red line for him; he was not willing to forgive such a person, let alone get romantically involved with her, and said that if she kept her promise to not kill or harm people ever again, he would be willing to tolerate her existence and let her live solely because she and Nyu share a body. He'd accept her, but he'd not have to love her.

It was ambiguous if Lucy/Nyu made it out fine, or if shooting the horn off her effectively "killed" Lucy but the Nyu personality might still be there (or the other way around, as horrifying as that'd be to imagine). That's all well and good, but killing Lucy off was NOT the worst decision. Lucy is both a villain and a tragic monster. Her tragedy was always that she was seemingly fated to be unable to co-exist with humanity because she's the Diclonius Queen who has an instinct to kill all life on Earth embedded in her DNA, but that fate actually could've been avoided had only she been treated with decency and like a person, and had she not spiralled down a path of hatred, spite, cowardice, malice and self-destructive choices. Maybe you prefer a version where Kurama dies and Lucy lives and both characters are denied proper growth and redemption, but that's never going to appeal to me. IMHO, the manga got it right. Lucy's story was not meant to end happily.

Nozomi and I assume you mean the Alucard lookalike pedo rapist torturer assassin were two of the things I was referring to with the things that make me go "....why???", the latter especially so. Nozomi could still have value so long as they axed the diaper thing (she's even the whole reason "Elfen Lied" is the title of the series, which makes it strange to me that she got cut altogether, but the anime was never making it to where that got its payoff anyway), but the other guy could easily get cut from the work without anything feeling amiss.

EDIT: Not even a "die-hard" of the manga, as my criticisms expose. I just think it delivered more substance than the anime. Additionally, note that I said Lucy's fate was avoidable, as she was not beyond reach, not beyond reform and atonement, and not irreversibly consumed by the voice of the Diclonius Queen gene in her DNA, so the fact that things ended up at a point where she had to die in order for all life on Earth to survive is the end result of a tragedy, which is what the narrative of Elfen Lied was in large part designed to be.

Rewatching Elfen Lied with friends for our weekly watch party and the amount of potential this story has is near maddening

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raineydays411 · 4 years ago

Text

Trauma really does bond

The umbrella academy x teen!reader

Summary: It’s time for you to meet your siblings. But what happen when your introductions don’t exactly go as planned?

You were trembling as you walked behind Pogo and Grace. Its ironic, you’ve waited your whole life for this moment. To finally meet your siblings and expand your family. A childish hope of your siblings one day returning to the mansion and accepting you with open arms.

But now that you actually have a chance to meet them, you’re terrified. You realized that you have no idea how to talk to people. It’s different than when you talk to Pogo or your mother. These are complete strangers. No matter how many stories you’ve been told, how many times you read Vanyas book, you truly didn’t know these people. How were you meant to be a family? How are you supposed to-

“Y/n? Dear?”

You’re snapped from your thoughts by your mother calling you.

“Yes, momma?”

“Momma? Pogo, who’s that?”

You turn, again surprised by an unfamiliar voice. There she was. Alison Hargreeves. She’s beautiful.

Her hair is curly and blonde, with beautiful high cheekbones and glowing brown skin. Her as were kind even as she squinted at you skeptically in confusion.

“Alison, this is Y/n Hargreeves, or Number Eight. She’s your sister.”

Grace again gives you a light nudge, and you move in front of her. It was then that you realized that you are shorter than Alison, having to glance up to meet her eyes.

“My sister?” She looks at you in disbelief, “How come we didn’t know? This wasn’t mentioned by the press or anything...”

“Your father decided to keep our dear Y/n a secret.” Grace said wrapping her arm around you, “ She’s been our little secret for 17 years and 4 months.”

“A secret? But why? I mean, what was the reason?”

“Your father, believed that the world wasn’t ready for a new superhero. Nor was Y/n ready to face the world.” Pogo said with a grim face, “ He had hoped though, that one day he would be able to take her out...but it seems that for now, Y/n shall remain inside.”

You frowned, holding back tears at the thought. You didn’t know that your father had wanted to let you out, nor that he wanted to be there when you were. But, what truly upset you, was that you had to stay in the mansion. Freedom was at the tip of your fingers and you didn’t even know it.

“Stay inside? You mean she’s never been outside?” Alison said horrified.

“Well she has been out in the courtyard and such, but Mr. Hargreeves prohibited her to leave the premises. Nor was she allowed to be in contact with the citizens”

“She’s been here all alone?” Alison asks sadly, “ With no one to talk to? No one her age?”

“I’m afraid not” Pogo says sadly, looking at you.

You didn’t understand the big deal. Of course you were lonely, and wanted to explore the world, but you knew why you had to stay. You can just hear your fathers words.

“You have a duty Number Eight. A duty to your people and to me. It may not be ideal but sacrifices are hardly ideal.”

And everytime you thought about leaving, you’d remember his words and stay put. Besides you wouldn’t dare disobey your father.

Not after the last time.

“Well,” Alison says gently, leaning down to your eye level, “ Hello Y/n, I’m Alison Hargreeves, your big sister.”

Your eyes widened at her words as your heart filled with joy. For so many years you imagined those words. You wondered how this whole thing would play out, how meeting your siblings might be. And to hear Alison so readily accept you, it brought tears to your eyes.

“Hello, Alison” You say beaming as you carefully step forward, “ I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you, Momma says you live in California, what is it like?”

Alison smiles at your question, your demeanor like a small child. It reminded her of Claire...

“It’s very nice, maybe when we have time I’ll be able to tell you all about it.”

Your smile widens as you turn to your mother excitedly, she smiles back and says, “ That sounds wonderful dear, but you should go and change. You know the rules. You don’t want your father finding you in your night clothes, now would you?”

You furrow your brows,” Momma...”

“No buts now march” She says with a grin. You smile at Alison but see the worried look on her face.

“So she did notice how weird momma acting” You think to yourself. You stay in a daze as you walk towards your room. Worrying about your mother, grieving your father, and thinking about how you’re finally meeting all your siblings. Then as you turn a corner into the hallway that leads to your room, you’re knocked to the ground as you bump into a wall of a body.

“Ow!” you squeal as you hit the ground, rubbing the back of your head and peering up at the person you bumped into.

“Uh..sorry Y/n”

“Luther!” You shout, your pain overridden by the happiness you felt at seeing your brother, one that actually knows you exist.

He helps you up, which to him is like picking up a feather, and before he knew it, your arms are wrapped around his midsection. Luther awkwardly pats your back, not really expecting to be hugged.

“It's great to see you Luther! I read all your mission reports, or rather the ones that Father let me read. I always wished you good night though! Pogo always caught me looking at the moon with that telescope, I hope you don’t mind that I used it. It's just that I missed you so-” Your happy ramblings cut off by a Luther clearing his throat.

“Ahem...right, um hey Y/n, I gotta go...check on something.” He says gently pushing you away, “It was nice seeing you though.”

And with that he walks away, leaving you in the hallway as you stare at his retreating form.

“oh...okay then! I’ll see...see you later.” You say, disheartened by his brief acknowledgement. You sigh, walking into your room.

“I don’t know why I try...” You mumble to yourself. “ It’s not like he was ever happy to see me before.”

You go into your closet, trying to figure out what to wear. Usually, Grace picked out your outfits, ordered by your father, but she didn’t leave anything out for you today. So, you settled for a black turtleneck sweater, a black and white plaid skirt, black knee high socks with some mary janes. It wasn’t really your go to look, but you felt like it was appropriate given the circumstance. You let your hair loose, curls falling into your face as you let it out of the bun you quickly put it in.

You go to walk out of the room when you’re stopped by a gleam. You see the necklace your father gave to you after the incident. You stare at it, debating on whether you should put it on or not. You sigh, deciding to wear it, it was his funeral after all. You put it on, the cold metal never truly seem to heat up, the pendant heavy on your chest. You never grew attached to it. It just served as a reminder that you’re stuck in the mansion. You can never leave. Not until he let you and now...

You shake your head. Trying not to get into your thoughts, that's when you heard it. Little scratching at your window. You turn to see Despereaux, the little mouse you saved when you were younger. Ever since that day it was like you and him formed a bond.

You open the window excited to see your little friend.

“Hello Despereaux, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” You whisper as you let him climb on to your shoulder. “ you’ve missed quite a bit since I’ve last seen you. How about some cheese?”

You walk out of your room, Despereaux nestled on your shoulder. As you walk through the long hallways, you bump into another body.

“Ouch, again?” You whisper to yourself, rubbing your forehead.

“Hey watch it...teenage girl?” A male voice said in a perplexed tone.

You look up to see a man in some rather tight clothes and kohl ringed eyes.

“Hello” You quietly mutter with a soft smile. “I’m Y/n”

“You are adorable.” The man says, “ Where has the old man been hiding you?”

You blush looking down at your feet, you were never really complimented. Only by Grace.

“ Aww” The man squeals, squishing you to his body. He smelled like booze and sweat but the hug was nice, “ I have no idea who you are but I’m your uncle Klaus from now on.”

“You’re Klaus?” You say excitedly, “ I’m so glad to meet you!”

You wrap your arms around him, feeling the outline of something hard and metal in the back of his pants. You ignored it though, happy to meet another one of your siblings.

“Ugh it’s so nice to be around someone who isn’t a total stick in the mud.” Klaus says letting go of you, “ Like Luther, all that rage in that big body”

You giggle at his words and eccentric behavior. It was a stark contrast to the ridgid stoic behavior that you’re used to. Klaus’ grand gestures and silly nature was new to you.

“I’ve heard alot about you.” You say happily, “ Mama always tells me stories about how you used to steal her shoes and skirts and Father said--”

“Father?” Klaus asked, “ You mean ol’ Reggie bought you too? Or are you like..his offspring? Eww! I don’t want to think about that, shut up Ben.”

Ben?

“Father adopted me, I was born with powers like you.” You clarify for him.

“Huh, so he managed to create another trauma case before he croaked.” Klaus said in a light voice, “Well. I always wanted a little sister.”

You smile, glad that at least two of your siblings liked you. But what did he mean by trauma case.

“Anywho, I have some... inheritance I need to collect. I, will see you at the funeral, das Kind”

And with a wiggle of his fingers he was off, gone as quick as when you met him. Leaving you yet again, alone. You shrug off his odd behavior when you heard two voices speaking.

“ah no, not to my knowledge.”

“But..the spine is broken and there's notes in the margins.”

“ Yes, that would be the work of.. ah Y/n, there you are.”

You jump in surprise, although you should’ve know. You can never eavesdrop with Pogo around.

You walk down the stairs, slowly towards Pogo and.. Vanya!

Out of all the siblings, she’s the one you wanted to meet the most. She, like you was isolated in this mansion. You felt a connection to her as soon as you were able to pick up that book. Your heart raced as you made it to the final step, reaching the first flower and into the living room where Vanya and Pogo were talking. You can see that she is shocked, as all your other siblings were.

“Pogo, who is this?”

“Go ahead dear, introduce yourself. Just like you practiced.”

You smile widely, “Hi I’m Y/n Hargreeves, I love your book. I’ve read it almost five times now. You’re Vanya! I’ve been waiting to meet you! You look exactly like the picture on the back of the book! It really is a good book, I-”

“Y/n, take a breath. Let her get a word in.” Pogo chuckled, glad to see that you’re comfortable around Vanya.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, father did always say I..tend to talk to much” You say looking down at your shoes. You didn’t notice the frown on both Pogo and Vanyas face.

“You...you read my book?” Vanya asked, still trying to figure out who you are.

“Yes, multiple times. It...well, besides the stories Mama and Pogo told me, this was the only way I got to know all of you.”

“Why didn’t you just come find us?”

“Oh well..I wasn’t really allowed outside”, you say glancing at Pogo, “ Father said the world and I weren’t ready for each other.”

“You mean, you’ve been alone...all these year?”

“No, not totally alone! I had Pogo, and Mama, and and father too. Plus there were the robots he built, although I did destroy them...and the books and and..”

“Y/n...that’s..that’s not..” Vanya stopped herself. She knew that this must be a sensitive subject for you. The way you listed everyone in your life was practiced. Like you’ve said it to yourself over and over again. And by the grim look on Pogos face, she can tell it wasn’t only you who was sensitive about this subject.

“Well, Y/n..perhaps you should go on in the kitchen and help your mother. Your siblings will be meeting here shortly, it would be nice if they had some snacks, don’t you agree?” Pogo says, forcing a smile at you.

“Oh! Okay” You beam, “ It was nice meeting you Vanya!”

And with that you scurry off into the kitchen, leaving Vanya and Pogo behind in silence.

“She’s been alone for...”

“For seventeen years. Yes”

“Pogo...”

“You know your father...once he made up his mind...there was little I can do.”

Vanya sighs and pats Pogo on the shoulder, “It’s good to see you Pogo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You skip into the kitchen, seeing your mother humming at the sink. You walk up to her and notice that she’s cleaning the same plate over and over again.

“Hi momma!” you say suddenly

“Oh, hello dear. What are you doing in here?” Grace asks putting the plate in the drying rack.

Pogo said it would be nice to make snacks for my siblings” You ask, then feeling movement around your neck, “Oh and some cheese please.”

You forgot Despereaux was on your shoulder, its a wonder that no one has seen him yet.

“hmm snacks we can do.” Grace says with a smile. She goes to the fridge and pulls out some cheese.

“How about some cheese and crackers? Its simple.” she says, “ ans Despereaux here can have his fill as well”

You freeze, caught again by your mother, “ Thanks momma.”

You both giggle, and side by side you work on cutting the cheese and presenting the crackers. You feel a sense of calm wash over you. You usually do when you’re around your mother. She makes you feel safe.

“Ahem.”

You both turn to see Diego in the kitchen doorway.

“Diego dear, you startled us.” Grace said with a smile, “ Come help, we’re making you kids some snacks.”

He barely spares a glance at you.

“Pogo wanted me to come tell you that the meetings starting.”

“Oh, well go on darling, run along and I’ll bring out the snacks later.”

And with that she kisses your forehead and waves you away. She turns back to the sink and starts humming again.

You glance back at Diego. He’s glaring at the wall and to be honest you’re surprised he even waited for you. You pick up Despereaux and put him on your shoulder again, and grab some grapes and cheese then stuff it in your skirt pocket. Then you walk up to Diego with a small smile.

He glances at you and scoffs, then walks away. You have to jog to catch up to him.

“You uh, you walk pretty fast” You say huffing a bit.

He doesn’t answer you, he just keeps walking in the same pace. You stay silent as well, the trip to the living room longer than you remember.

You finally make it, and you see all your siblings in the room, spread out. You take a seat next to Vanya. You smile at her and take a glance around the room. Luther is sat at the couch across from you and Vanya. Allison and Diego are sat on some chairs, and Klaus is at the bar.

The six of you sit in an awkward silence until Luther clears his throat.

“ So I guess we should get this started.” He says standing up, “ So I figured we can have sort of a memorial service. At the courtyard at sundown, say a few words. At dad’s favorite spot.”

You nod along and hear Alison speak up, “ Dad had a favorite spot?”

“Yeh at the oak tree, we used to sit out there all the time. None of you did that?” Luther asks.

“Oh yeah, after training” you chime in, causing the adults to look at you. You heard Diego scoff again and saw Luther quickly furrow his brow then smooth out his face again.

“Will there be refreshments?” Klaus asks walking out from behind the bar, “ Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner.”

He goes to take a seat next to you when Luther speaks up

“What? No, and put that out. You know dad didn’t allow smoking in here.”

You roll your eyes. If you had to choose one thing to hate about Luther, you’d choose his insistent need to always be on your Father's good side. He can be such a downer sometimes.

“Is that my skirt?”

You hadn’t even noticed Klaus in the skirt. If you had to be honest, it did really suit him. You let out a small laugh, hearing Klaus mention his “bits”.

“Listen up.”

Oh boy, you’ve heard this tone before. You really forgot how stern Luther could be.

“There’s still some important things that we need to discuss alright ?”

“Um Luther” you squeak out, “ what more is there to talk about? Its not like Father had many friends we can invite. And his only family is us...”

“Yeah. The kids right, what else is there to discuss?” Diego asks.

You turn to him in surprise, this is basically the first time he acknowledged you unprompted. You send him a smile that, as expected, he ignores.

Oh well, small steps.

“ The way he died.”

“ And here we go”

You scrunch your eyebrows, “the way he died?”

Klaus sits next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder as Vanya speaks up,

“I don’t understand, I thought they said it was a heart attack...”

“A heart attack?” You ask, realizing that no one’s really did tell you how your father died..

You’re question gained a suspicious look from Luther and confusion from the rest.

“ Y/n...you didn’t know?” Alison asked gently.

“ no one told me...” You say quietly, feeling nervous from the sudden attention.

“Well, According or to the coroner it was.” Luther continues.

“Well wouldn’t they know?”

“Theoretically..”

“Theoretically??”

You don’t understand. You don’t understand why nobody told you how your father died. You don’t understand why everyone was acting weird. And you don’t understand why Luther was bringing this up.

You feel a hand on your forearm, breaking you from your thoughts. You turn your head to see Klaus.

“ you lost in space?” He whispers playfully, “ I would be too, having to listen to Detective Daddy issues over here.”

You let out a small chuckle and whisper back, “ well technically we all have daddy issues.”

This earned you a quiet laugh and a pat on the arm. Then Klaus went to drink whatever was in his cup. And you tuned in again.

“ i’m just saying at the very least something happened. ” Luther says looking around the room, “ The last time I talk to dad he sounded strange.”

“Oh quelle surprise!” Klaus gurgles through his drink.

The rest of the adult ignored him, only sparing him a quick glance.

“Strange how?” Alison asked, continuing the conversation.

“ he sounded on edge”, Luther said, “ told me to be careful who to trust.”

He then gave you pointed look. You looked back at him perplexed, not knowing why he looked at you that way.

“Luther,” Diego chimed in, “ he was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles. ”

You frown at that statement. Sure your father was old and sort of eccentric, but his mind was sharp.

But come to think of it he was acting really weird the week before he died. He started telling you more about your siblings, about your place in the world and how you were meant to help it. He spent more time with you more than he ever has your whole life. He was, in his own way, nicer to you. Nicer in training, nicer on your free time, nicer in general. He took you out to the old oak tree more often, and just sat there with you, no lectures, no tirades, he just sat in silence.

It was almost like... like he knew he was going to die.

“I can’t just call dad in the afterlife and be like, “ hey dad can you stop playing tennis with Hitler really quick and take a quick call?’” Klaus says exasperatedly.

Oh right you forgot, he can talk to ghosts.

“ since when? that’s your thing.” Luther asks

“ i’m not in the right... Frame of mind!!”

“ You’re high?” Alison asks

“Yeah!” Klaus laughs, “ Who wouldn’t be listening to this nonsense. Right kiddo?”

He nudged you gently look at you for confirmation.

Your eyes widen and before you can even answer Diego cut you off,

“ Don’t bring her in this, she probably isn’t even know what being high is.”

You most certainly do. You’re not a child.

“ Look, just sober up this is important!” Luther demands , then continues on, “ and then there’s the missing monocle.”

“Who gives a shit about the missing monocle?” Diego mutters.

“ Father is missing his monocle?” You ask, getting ignored again.

“Exactly, it’s worthless.” Luther states, “ so whoever took it it must’ve been personal.”

The group starts to actually pay attention to him

“ Someone close to him, someone with a grudge.” He determines.

Wait...he’s not implying..

“Where are you going with this?” Klaus asks

“Oh, isn’t obvious Klaus?” Diego taunts, “ He thinks one of us killed dad.”

Luther grunts, but doesn’t deny his accusation.

The room goes silent as everyone tries to come to terms with what was revealed.

“ Luther...” you start sadly, feeling hurt and betrayed.

“You do?” Klaus asks in disbelief

“How could you think that?” Vanya chimes in

“ is it really that far-fetched?” Luther defends himself, “ I mean, it’s not secret how much you all hate him.”

“Luther.” Alison says sternly

“ That’s not fair accusation, there’s no evidence or anything...” you say defending your siblings, “ Besides, no one came home until today. Trust me, I’d know.”

But that just turned him on you

“ And where were you when he died?”

Your breath hitched, “ what?”

“ You’re the one who can heal people right? So where were you? Why didn’t you heal him?” He demands, “ Or did you let him die?”

“ Luther!” Alison shouts at him

You stay silent as you can’t think of anything to say. You already felt horrible about not being able to save your father. But yo hear it from Luther...

“I..” you start to say but get choked up. You feel the walls close up around you and the heavy gaze of these adults. You quickly stand up and run out of the room sniffing.

It was then that Luther realized what he just accused you of.

“Y/n wait..” he starts but you’re already gone by the time he spoke up. He turns to the rest of his siblings, facing their glares and betrayed looks.

“ Great job Luther.” Diego says sarcastically, “ Way to lead.”

And with that he walks out the room.

“That’s..that’s not what I’m saying”

“You’re crazy man. You’re crazy.” Klaus said getting up from his spot and grabbing his things. “Crazy”

“I..I wasn’t finished”

“ Okay, sorry I’m just gonna go get Y/n and have her help me murder mom.” Klaus sneers, “ You know, after I get her to stop crying, be right back.”

“That’s not what I was saying!” Luther says, “ I didn’t—“ he cuts himself off, seeing as everyone but Alison left.

Then she gets up to leave, but says this

“ That little girl has had it rough enough growing up here, she doesn’t need anymore from you.”

Then she walks out ignoring what Luther tries to say.

Leaving him all alone.

“That went well.”

#the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #alison hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x reader #luther hargeeves x r #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #comics #netflix

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linkspooky · 4 years ago

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"The Only Ones the Heroes Protect Are Themselves."

is a quote given to us by Dabi. That's starting to sound more and more true after this press conference chapter. This post will be mainly talking about Hawks, because I think this chapter sheds a lot of light on Hawks' flaws as a character.

I think for understanding Hawks it's important to know this:

And this:

Are both Hawks. Hawks is both the person willing to manipulate, scheme and ruthlessly hunt down others for the sake of the greater good, and he's also the person who just wants to help because his whole life he's felt useless and unworthy. Hawks is both the overly idealistic child who believes in heroes and just wants tp help the heroes, and at the same time, the cynical adult who thinks heroes can't always save people.

Some part of Hawks is aware that this darker side of him exists. He tells the hero commission that he's willing to dirty his hands for the sake of general peace. He specifically warns the villains not to underestimate his resolve. He tells Twice that he's not the type to get tripped up by sentiment in the crucial stages of his plan.

However, at the same time Hawks doesn't cop up to this side of his personality. If you confront Hawks about his actions in any way he switches back to his hero-mode. I don't believe this is because Hawks believes himself to be a good person. I don't even think Hawks defines himself as a person to begin with, just a tool. It makes sense that Hawks doesn't have a consistent identity it all goes back to his origins.

All Hawks could do was internalize everything he felt, and every abuse hurtled at him by his parents. All he wanted to believe back then was that he wouldn't turn out the same way they did. He wanted to believe in some good part of him.

However, I wonder if Hawk truly believes he's good. If he truly believes he's a good hero. He seems to have internalized so much of his abuse when he was younger that he has little self worth and all of it, is built around what kind of things he does for other people. He has to believe he's helping other people, because otherwise he crumbles. Otherwise the part of his head that tells him he was just trash the hero council picked up on the side of the road, is right.

I'm touching upon all of this to say Hawks does not really have a sense of self-identity. It's very weak, and he bases it on things are around him instead, things he can cling to provide him some sense of self worth, his role as a hero, his pseudo-imagined relationship with Endeavor, the idea that the things he's doing is ultimately for the public good. Because he's clinging to these things it makes it almost impossible to be self-critical. Because if Hawks isn't a hero, then he's nothing. Hawks also, similarly, can't deal with any criticism to the institution of hero because that's the institution that saved him, that's where he belongs, that's where all of his personal relationships are.

Hawks previously thought everything he did was for the public good, because heroes protected the people, hero and the public were both aligned.

However, when the public they're protecting begins to question the heroes, when they're not alligned Hawks picks the heroes.

Now I'll touch on Enji briefly to give an example of why this is wrong. Enji's excuse for why he didn't do anything with Toya, why he didn't even try to be a father, was because he was a hero first before he was a person.

Both Enji and Hawks (they're meant to be read as character foils) divide their personalities this way. They are who they are as heroes, before their faults and individual failings as people. However, in reality, they're just running away from their actions. Enji is depicted entirely in shadow in these few panels, the same way Hawks is depicted in shadow when confronting Twice.

Ultimately it doesn't matter if whatever Hawks did to Twice was justified or not, the problem is he wasn't a hero to Twice. He decided in that moment Twice was not worth saving. He divided that line between who gets to get saved, and who doesn't.

What I mean when I say that Hawks is unable to cop up to the darker sides of his personality, is that he's unable to acknowledge when he's done a bad thing. Which is also, something he shares in common with Enji. Enji's failures are never personal ones, he's never the one at fault. Toya's death was what drove him to train Shoto so hard (nevermind the fact he was already doing that beforehand.) Toya attacking Shoto was the reason that Enji had to isolate Shoto (nevermind, that Toya himself a thirteen-year-old kid was able to recognize that he was wrong to blame his brother, but it's still unfair for his father to put all his attention on Shoto and leave the rest of his kids alone). Uraraka is the narrator for this chapter, but Uraraka also said this.

IThe real question is, are heroes to be held individually responsible for their actions? Can we criticize heroes as people? Hawks, Enji, and Jeanist all seem to believe that identity and world of heroes is far too important to level criticisms at any individual. That the world of heroes somehow, elevates them from others in a way that makes them impossible to understand, because they have more responsibility.

I'm not going to say Hawks doesn't feel sorry for Twice. He expressed like, the greatest possible expression of public apology he can. The problem however is everything else about Hawks. Twice apologizes for the act of killing twice and expresses it as a moral failing on his part, while stating he had no choice before that point.

Hawks is unaware of his own personal biases, and his own flaws, and therefore properly can’t account to them. He thinks his failing was that he couldn’t convince Jin to join his side. Not that his wrongdoing was his act of choosing only Jin to save because he was one of the “good” victims, and only offering Jin the chance to atone conditional on him betraying his friends. He’s still picking and choosing between good and bad in who he helps. And Hawks’ standards for that are pretty biased. Notice how his help for Enji doesn’t involve mandatory jailtime and atonement for his crimes like it did with Twice. Enji still gets to remain a hero.

Hawks has a bias and it goes on unacknowledged, by framing his actions as heroic and for the greater good.

His priority isn't to make the same mistake again with Twice or even to feel bad about Twice, it's to stop public criticism. It even comes down to the way he frames his own actions, Hawk doesn't acknowledge the part of him that manipulated Twice, held him at gunpoint, forced him to choose between his friends and his own safety, cruelly taunted him. All of things which were by the way, an abuse of his power, and things Hawks did because he personally likes to feel in control of situations not because it was necessary for the greater good to break Twice mentally like that.

Hawks didn't do all those things in the Hawks vs. Twice situation, because he was forced to in a bad situation. Hawks planned the whole situation out to give himself control over the situation, and try to manipulate Twice into siding with him because he liked Twice. It's like, written in a very specific way to show how manipulative Hawks is for setting things up this way, the whole thing was a set up. However, hawks can't cop up to that. He frames it like an oopsie daisy. He frames it like something he did in the heat of the moment because he felt like he had no other choice, and not something that was pre-meditated and all set up by him beforehand. It's because, while Hawks acts like this, he never owns up to his actions, he only ever frames himself as the guy willing to sacrifice anything in order to help people. The guy determined to be helpful and useful to others. Therefore he can't find fault within himself and he can't find fault within heroes.

Even with Enji, his first response isn't, "Wow, if heroes are using their position to cover up their crimes we should investigate how other heroes might be abusing their families." It's to find a way to make Enji look good for the public, so the public gets off his back.

Uraraka says that if Toga wants to threaten people she has to live with the consequences, but the heroes aren't living with conesquences for their actions. It's not just that Hawks murdered someone. I mean after all, I argue that Toga who kills lots of people., Shigaraki who destroys whole cities, Dabi who admits to murdering 30 people, are all people who I think are going to get positive character development.

However, they all also accept that they're going to be seen as murderers. Dabi calls himself a murderer live on television. Toga accepts it, when Uraraka says that she has no choice but to put her down if she's going to hurt others. Shigaraki even holds himself responsible for the murder of his family which was a complete accident, he had to have his reluctance to hurt other people beaten out of him.

It's not that Hawks murdered a person, but rather he can kill a person and not see himself as a murderer. Just speaking in terms of character development, to have a character arc, a character must first acknowledge they are wrong, and then work to improve on that wrong. Hawks hasn't reached the first part.

Hawks and Enji are unable to admit to their personal failings, because not only do they appear to the public only as heroes, but they also think "Heroes" are like a special protected class of people. They can make up for all of their flaws by being good heroes. However, it's not the public that they're defending. Just like it's not his family that Enji is really doing all these things for. Time and time again, they choose to be heroes over everythig else, because the world of heroes is the only place they exist in. Being seen as a good hero is what validates both of them. For Hawks it comes from his own perosnal trauma and loneliness, from Enji his priority of being a good hero above everything else. So if you ewre to strip all of that away, if you were to admit, that Hawks deciding to kill Twice, that Enji abusing his family, doesn't make them very good heroes? Means they aren't entitled to being heroes anymore? What would be left of them for both of them? They'd just be left with what they've done and who they are and neither of them are or were ever very happy with themselves. Which is why, rather than trying to be better people. Trying to address the cricticisms that other people have lobbied to them, including Endeavor's own son who was personally hurt by him. It keeps coming back to being better heroes.

They're not heroes though, they're just people. Everyone is just people in the end.

#mha meta #dabi #hawks #touya todoroki #keigo takami #mha 306 #mha 306 spoilers #bnha 306 #bnha 306 spoilers

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sajdd · 3 years ago

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i will never understand people who try to seperate c!tommy and c!dream as if their stories and character progression arent interwoven with each other

their dynamic is so interesting and tragic...

they used to genuinely be friends, brothers even. dream would antagonise tommy a lot, he would break his own rules and do things to get on tommy's nerves to play with him, but back then we all saw it as some light-hearted fun, its how tommy saw it too. he had fun in this little play-war they had going on

and then came wilbur. then came lmanberg. and suddenly he was spending more time around his actual brother. he was actually fighting against dream, it wasn't just play anymore. so then came the declaration of independence, and so came the declaration of war. the burned down house, the blown up land, the final control room, the duel, the trade.

but tommy didn't truly hate dream, not yet. but dream’s motives were so unclear, what was the truth? and what was a lie? switching sides so many times, trying to push away the blame from himself, wanting to support tommy in taking back l’manberg to helping wilbur blow up the whole place and teaming with schlatt. and so came the final battle of pogtopia and manberg, there were no winners that day but there was hope. they survived, and tommy would get his disks back from dream.

and then came exile. nothing would ever be the same for them. dream wanted tommy all to himself, and if that meant he had to cut off his contact with everyone else and quite literally beat it into his head that he is tommy's only friend? well.. some sacrifices have to be made. he'll come around eventually... and he did! but then dream pushed him too far and he ran away.

tommy was under technoblade's protection for a while, but dream couldnt afford to waste his favour on that. so he waited, and he planned. their alliance was short-lived anyway, as soon as tommy realised what he truly cared about it was over. naturally, he was going to side with the blood god himself. i mean, what better way to rub his victory into tommy’s face. his expression was priceless! this kid is just too much fun.

and he'll roam free for now, until their final battle. he'll get rid of that pest called tubbo and he can finally put tommy somewhere he cant escape from :) but then punz shows up and drags the rest of the server with him. betrayed. and tommy has the upper hand now- except. he has also secret card up his sleeve. the revive book. tommy wont get rid of him if he can potentially bring back his beloved brother.

and while dream is stuck rotting in prison, tommy starts healing. he gets better. but.. its so weird without dream. so why not visit him! to rub his victory in his face and show how much better everything is without him. how much better he's doing. he's here to rub it in his face and not because he still feels so lonely and dream is his friend and please god why wont someone love me- and the hotel is going great, he's inviting people and healing and noone comes except for the people trying to kill him but he's still friends with tubbo even if they're drifting apart and he has ranboo and why am i being replaced what did i do wrong and he goes to visit dream for the final time, its really time to put an end to this.

and then there's explosions. muffled through the obsidian walls surrounded in lava. the inescapable, unbreakable, impenetrable prison is being blown up. and dream is laughing. and dream is not surprised. and tommy is stuck with dream, because sam wont let him out its protocol and he’s stuck with dream and itll be just like exile tommy.

but he manages to survive, he cant breathe and the walls are closing in and he just wishes someone would come save him at least this one time but nobody comes. and dream is talking of partnership and running away together but there is no "us", tommy's going to get out of here and dream will die sad and alone and i bet the revive book isnt even real- and then he's screaming for help but it comes too late. he's being ripped apart and all he knows is pain and void and oh god its wilbur again. he exists in this darkness for 2 months before getting dragged back to life by the devil himself.

and there will be no more normal ever again. even the slightest pain reminds him of dying and limbo and wilbur and we can be immortal together tommy! and oh my god he has to kill dream no one should have that much power and wilbur cant come back-

and of course wilbur comes back. because he fucked up. tommy fucked up and now sam is angry, and tubbo and ranboo are angry and ghostbur is dead and wilbur is back and dream is alive rotting in that prison and why cant i just have peace for one moment what did i do to deserve this

and then his brother proclaims dream a hero. and why would he say that he knows what he did to me why would he say that

and so dream waits for wilbur to come. he knows he'll visit, he's indebted to him, he will be SO grateful for bringing him back. and if he can control wilbur then he can control tommy. and they can be friends again.

and maybe its time tommy accepted he cant run away from dream. for as long as he’s alive they are destined to be together. after all, he is tommy's friend. the one constant throughout this whole story. they have too much fun together. he was the one person who was there when no one else was. and no matter how much he hates it, somewhere deep down he still cares about dream and it makes him feel sick. but once tommy has love for you in his heart he can never really let go of it, no matter how much you might hate him or hurt him, he will still love you, remembering the good times, the fun times. and that's all dream wants doesn't he? he just wants to have fun.

(sorry this was so long idk what came over me also my thought process in the tags)

#lmao sorry this is so long and rambly #i started off wanting to explain smth but i basically ended up writing a fanfic #this is supposed to be messy btw #ITS MENTAL ILLNESS INNIT #their dynamic is just so interesting because of how it descended into this unhealthy obsession dream has with tommy and what he did to him #but he genuinely cares for him but in this.. sick and twisted way #and we know how tommy is with those he cares about. he never really stops caring #and he forgives #even if hes pissed off #its a tragic dynamic and its so interesting #it all falls apart so terribly #so dont seperate these two characters and stories because they are vital to each others development and story progression #just. so interesting #and horrifying #this was fun to write even if im shit at writing #long post #tommyinnit #dream smp #dreamwastaken #c!tommy #c!dream #c!dream critical #this isnt rlly critical but i dont want the apologists to come after me because i dont woobify dream lmao

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starkerforlife6969 · 3 years ago

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Starker - The Beach War

Peter loves the sunshine.

He loves the sand under his toes, the little shore-line waves bumping against his ribs, he loves the sound of gulls swooping low, but he loves the sunshine most of all.

Steve warns him not to spend too much time out in the sun. Steve buys him sunscreen and umbrellas and hats.

But if the damning red crest over the bridge of his nose is anything to go by- Peter takes little heed.

“I’m going to aerobics,” Peter chirps sweetly, pouring coffee into Steve’s mug and reaching for his headband on a Tuesday morning.

His husband, in slacks and a still-unbuttoned shirt, looks up from the morning paper with a small, curious smile. “Didn’t you go yesterday?”

Peter nods, “I like it.”

“Alright. I suppose you deserve to enjoy yourself. Now that I’m officially a ballot candidate, thanks to you.”

Peter smiles warmly, reaching over to kiss Steve’s mouth and wipe the toast crumbs from his husband’s chin. “We all collected those signatures.”

Steve laughs at his modesty. “It’s one step closer to stopping Stark from destroying this town. I won’t rest till it’s done, Pete. Bucky’s coming over today, to help with the campaign.”

“Okay. Well, there’s lasagne in the fridge left over, will you two be alright?”

“Yeah.” His blue eyes run over Peter’s face. “Have you been wearing suncream?”

“Yes,” Peter lies, but is it really a lie? He tries to. He does, at least like, 50% of the time. Maybe 40.

Steve accepts it easily, and kisses Peter again, and then Peter’s out of the door and into the sunshine and free.

***

Class is perfect. Adrenaline-pumping, vibrant, fantastic, and it fills Peter with energy and when it’s over, dripping with sweat as he heads into the cool, air-conditioned bliss of the mall and wiggles his toes in his shoes.

He’s free the whole day.

He’s going to spend it in the water. On the beach.

He buys a danish from the new mall store, and is heading for the automatic doors when it catches his eye.

A familiar face. Or rather, fifteen of that unfamiliar face, splashed across a display for the new colour tvs. Beck. Peter stops despite himself and watches through the glass as fifteen Quinten Beck’s lecture on how environmental restrictions are really just restricting progress.

Peter takes another bite of his Danish and warm icing dribbles down his fingers. He licks it off angrily. Ugh, Beck. He was a dick in college, and he’s an even bigger dick now. What did Peter ever see in him?

He scoffs, turning away, only to come face-to-face with-

Oh. Handsome. Very handsome. Peter can’t help but be a little winded at the tanned skin, groomed hair and expensive suit and then-

Oh. Shit. It’s Tony Stark. Is it? It must be. It looks like him from the papers, and the interviews and- Yes. Yes, it is. The camera’s, already flattering, still don’t do him justice. It’s Tony Stark. Standing right here, in the mall that he had all those trees chopped down to make.

“You seemed drawn to him, and then you scoffed. It doesn’t speak to you?”

Peter blinks. Stark’s voice is lovely. Smooth. Just how it sounds in the adverts. “Oh!” Peter hums, hastily swallowing his mouthful of Danish. Stark’s eyes are roving over him- not even subtly. What is he looking for? Peter shifts a little in his workout gear. These shorts are very short, he must look- there’s probably icing on his lips and- “I don’t- I wasn’t drawn to him.” Peter insists, “I just know him- uh, Beck. I know him in real life.”

“I see,” Stark grins, eyes all amused, “do you have one?”

Peter blinks. He watches Tony’s eyes dip over his form once again. Rest on his lips. Peter licks them reflexively. He knows Tony isn’t married, but- “I do. I’m uh- I’m married. Sorry.”

Tony laughs, and Peter feels his cheeks flush. “I meant: do you have a colour tv? I know you’re married.”

Peter frowns. How is that possible- oh. He glances at his ring and manages a little laugh. “Perceptive.” He hums.

Tony lifts an eyebrow, a little quizzically. “No.” He says slowly, “I know who you are, Peter Rogers. I saw the “Save our Wave” campaign. You and your husband. Smart way to launch. Ocean in the background. You looked….radiant.”

Oh god. Tony Stark knows who he is.

Peter brushes his hair behind his ears and doesn’t know what to say. “Uh...thank you.”

Tony grins. “Good ad. But it won’t be enough. It can’t stop progress.” Tony steps forward, so they’re a little closer than what’s proper, and his voice drops into something lower. His fingers graze Peter’s bare shoulder. “But I’m not sure you want to stop progress, do you, pumpkin?”

Is he talking about his aerobics outfit? Or the fact he was watching colour tv? Or the fact that he’s in the mall, having just finished a mall class, eating a mall-pastry, and watching mall-tv? Despite the fact that he’s supposedly against the mall.

Peter ignores the ripple of goosebumps that spread across his skin. He lifts his nose, but Tony still towers over him. “I do not agree wih Quinten Beck.” He snaps. “I’m sorry, but we do care about the environment. And we’re not going to have our beach destroyed for another mall.”

He pulls away then, pushing past Tony.

“Peter,” Tony says, and he can’t help but look back. Tony stands there, stupidly handsome, hands in his pockets, and his voice is as cool as the ocean-breeze when he says, “If I were married to you, I’d put you in my campaign videos too. You’ve got a face that changes minds, sweetheart.”

Another furious, heated blush, and Peter bumbles out into the sunshine.

Beach. He needs to go to the beach. Stat.

***

Peter’s freckles always make their debut in the LA Summer.

He serves a pitcher of ice-cold lemonade as he, Steve and Bucky take lunch out on the patio.

Bucky and Steve are pressed close together. It’d be odd, if it wasn’t so commonplace. But Peter expects it now. They’re childhood friends. It’s fine, probably. He tries not to think about it too much. Because he knows Steve. And Steve is kind and loyal, and even if he wanted to- he wouldn’t cheat on Peter.

Unfortunately, Peter thinks Steve might want to. More and more lately, now that Bucky’s basically been living here to help with the campaign.

“Thanks, Sweatpea,” Bucky murmurs, as Peter refills his glass.

For the man who’s stealing away his husband, Peter should probably like Bucky less. “No problem, James. Do you guys want more pecan pie?”

“It’s alright, sugar. Steve and I will eat at the community luncheon.”

Peter blinks. He turns to Steve, who looks away bashfully.

“What?” Bucky asks, reading their faces.

“We were invited to the Harrisson’s gala this afternoon.” Peter points out, still looking at Steve’s face, “it’s a great opportunity to raise some funds-”

“It’s a stuck up crowd,” Bucky points out, not incorrectly, “not exactly who we want associated with Steve’s campaign.”

“Right,” Peter hums, because Steve had a choice between him and Bucky, and Bucky’s already won.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Steve says earnestly, reaching his large hand across the table to take Peter’s. Bucky looks away. “I just feel the luncheon has a lot more to offer. You can go to the gala by yourself, can’t you? You’re more than amazing without me dragging you down.”

Not true. Peter thinks, because as much as he loves being free, Steve’s all-American home spun wholesomeness always leaves a trail of admirers.

“Okay,” he murmurs. “You guys have fun.”

He collects the rest of the dishes and takes them inside, unaware that he has a Bucky-shaped shadow until he’s corned next to the kitchen sink.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky says, bowing his head, and Peter half-smiles. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I knew you guys had already-”

“It’s alright.” Peter says softly, “I think he would rather be with you anyway.”

Bucky’s eyes snap to his, ice-blue and frightened and hopeful. “Pete…” he says, voice a little raw. “It’s not…”

“You guys alright in there?” Steve calls from outside.

Peter ducks under Bucky’s arm, and it isn’t very difficult to make his voice bright when he calls back: “Just fine!”

***

The Harrison’s own a ridiculously nice estate, and Peter only feels a little out of place. He’s in the dark blue silks he brought with him to LA all those years ago, and Mr Harrisson greets him warmly at the door.

It’s...better than he thought it would be. It turns out he doesn’t really need Steve. At all, actually. He’s clever and he has his degree and he knows a lot about the environment. People like him. They respond to him. It’s-

“Just look at you,” comes a whistle, and Peter turns slowly to see Tony Stark in a tuxedo.

Fuck. It’s a very tasty sight. Tastier than the crab rolls being handed out, and they were pretty damn incredible.

“You’re just working the room, aren’t you, honey?” Tony drawls, voice dripping with appreciation and something low and dark and-

“I’m uh, I’m trying,” Peter manages, feeling his cheeks flush.

Tony looks like he wants to step closer, but he doesn’t. Peter kind of- maybe a little- wants him too. “And where’s your very lucky husband?”

“Oh, he’s...he’s not here.”

Tony’s eyes light up. “Really? Well, how about you and me get some air?”

The Harrison’s house sits on the beach, and Peter kicks off his shoes and is pulled down onto the sand as easy as breathing.

God, the ocean air. He rolls up his trousers, sinks his feet into the cold, trembling waves.

“Just look at you,” Tony hums, and Peter turns to see he’s being watched, and Tony’s skin looks even better lit by the sunset.

“You said that already,” he points out, feeling bolder, braver, now that he’s out on the beach.

“Well, maybe that’s because I can’t stop looking at you.”

Peter blushes, before stepping into the water a little further. “Are you going to join me? Or do you hate the ocean as much as you claim?”

Tony obligingly toes off his shoes. “Never said I hated the ocean. Don’t get me mixed up with Beck. I just know that sometimes we’ve gotta sacrifice things in the name of progress. Technology. The future.”

Tony pulls off his bowtie, slips off his jacket, and then comes and wades into his knees.

“Gotta sacrifice things,” Peter echoes, “like the ocean. Like trees. Who needs ‘em, right? They only give us oxygen.”

Tony grins at him. “You’re a firecracker, aren’t you, Peter? I thought you liked my mall. Or wasn’t that you? In that gorgeous little aerobics get up? Eating one of those danishes- to die for, aren’t they? Wasn’t that you, sighing at a colour tv?”

Peter scoffs because he doesn’t have a comeback, and he glances out at the horizon.

“You were mine, sweetheart, you’d be purring away with that tv at your feet. I’d buy you a hundred if you wanted ‘em. You wouldn’t want for anything.”

Jesus. Peter tries to stifle the flood of arousal that courses through him. “I’d be wanting for a husband that cared about protecting our coast line.” He manages, though it sounds a little weak.

“The coast line,” Tony hums, reaching a hand down to plunge into the water. “The beach. You a surfer?”

“No, I just...I like the beach, it makes me feel…” free “...it’s the beach. It’s nature. It’s not for us to bend and re-shape for another mall, Tony.”

Tony chuckles, “I do like to hear you say my same.”

Peter scowls, and heads back for the sand. A few splashes later, Tony follows. “You can’t...I don’t know, you can’t seduce me into supporting you.”

Tony’s hand grips around his wrist just before Peter reaches his shoes, and he’s looking up into very dark brown eyes, and a very, very appealing mouth. “I’m not trying to change your mind.” Tony murmurs, “I’m just trying to see where it is you stand. You like the mall, you didn’t mind the trees being cut down there, but the beach. The beach is where you have a problem. It’s your line.”

“It-it’-it’s not about me.” Peter stutters, feeling exposed, “My husband is the one running for-”

“And I am trying to seduce you. Have been since I saw you in that advert. Couldn’t get you out of my head. Thought they’d hired a model at first, and then I found out you were married to him. I couldn’t believe it.”

Oh. Warmth buzzes through his skin, flattered and delighted and giddy, Peter doesn’t know what in the name of hell possesses him to say: “He’s not going to be my husband for much longer.”

Tony’s eyebrows lift in surprise. Then he smirks. His hand is still wrapped around Peter’s wrist. “That so?”

A few other guests pull out onto the beach now, and Peter spots Mrs Harrisson in the distance.

“Save our wave, Mr Stark,” he whispers, unable to stop smiling, as he gathers his shoes and heads over.

***

He and Steve have sex that night.

It’s the best sex they’ve had in a long time. Passionate, erotic, and Peter knows why. It’s because he was just with Tony, and Steve was just with Bucky, and they’re both pretending.

Afterwards, still warm from the haze, they look at one another.

“I’m so sorry, Pete,” Steve whispers, voice-choked up, and Peter brushes away his tears.

“Don’t be. Where you are, it’s where I am. You and Bucky are made for each other.”

“You have someone too?” Steve asks. Peter nods. “Okay. Okay, but not till...not till after the campaign. Divorce…” the word makes him jerk a little, and Peter soothes him, “it could rock things.”

“After the campaign,” Peter nods, and they sleep in each other’s arms, and maybe it shouldn’t feel like everything’s going to be okay, but it does.

***

Steve annihilates Tony in the televised debate.

Peter knew he would. Tony is clever and pithy, but Steve is earnest, and kind, and people can see that. They can feel that. Tony handles it as well as he can, but it’s clear by the end of the interview- Steve is ahead.

Peter swims back towards the shore.

He’s still wet as he pads into the mall and heads for the pastry-store.

“I’ll get that,” Tony says, appearing from nowhere and handing over the money before Peter can fish his wallet from his ocean-wet shorts.

Tony’s hand is on the small of his back then, guiding him towards the food court, and soon Peter’s eating his pastry on a plastic red chair, and looking at Tony with wide, innocent eyes.

Tony breaks first.

“So, your husband’s campaign is a little stronger than I thought.”

Peter laughs. The sound seems to make Tony light up, and that just- Peter’s stomach tightens.

“My advisor’s are a little worried.”

“Steve is very good.” Peter agrees, taking another bite.

Tony leans across the table, and his cologne makes Peter want. “I’m better, though, Pete, is the thing.”

“Are we still talking about the campaign?”

“Let’s get dinner.” Tony says suddenly, “please. I know it’s early, but I am burning with it, Pete. I think about you all the time, I can’t keep staking out beaches and malls hoping to run into you.”

“What if someone sees us? What about Steve’s campaign-”

“It’d hurt mine just the same. Who gets the sympathy? The man being cheated on, or the man who slept with a married guy?”

Peter pulls the pastry apart with his fingers. “Just dinner?”

“At my house.”

Peter laughs, scandalised, “dinner at your house? How easy do you think I am?”

“Not easy at all. You’re fucking difficult, sweetheart. Look at what you’re wearing, fuck, it’s like you want to torture me.”

Peter tries not to blush and fails. His voice is gentle though, when he voices his main concern: “And what happens if once you’ve...once we’ve...what happens then? Curiosity satisfied, you might not want to see me anymore.”

Tony reaches across the table to touch Peter’s hand. Peter looks around worriedly, but nobody is paying them any mind.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Tony whispers, more serious than Peter has ever seen him. “Peter, I would never get bored of you.”

“It’s happened before,” Peter says weakly, and doesn’t realise how true it is until it’s spoken aloud. The pain for the divorce yet to happen ripples across his chest. Oh god, where has this been? Someone loved him once, and then found someone else-

“I’m gonna crush him.” Tony vows, voice vicious, as soon as he spots the glitter of Peter’s tears. “I’m going to destroy his campaign-”

“No, no,” Peter insists, sniffling, and managing a small smile. “Steve is- he’s a good guy, Tony. A good guy with a good cause, you don’t need to,” Peter huffs fondly, “you don’t need to protect my honour.

“Alright,” Tony says, a little bit like he’s unconvinced, so Peter squeezes his hand.

“I want to have dinner with you. I want to feel your hands on me- I- I think about it all the time. And afterwards, I want...more.” Peter looks down at their hands. “You said you’d get me anything.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Tony whispers, “I’m going to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

***

The mall gets made.

In the next town over. The beach is saved. Steve wins.

They divorce.

Steve hugs him. Bucky hugs him. There’s a lot of crying, but then Peter’s being picked up in a ludicrously nice hot-red car, and there’s Tony and kissing and a house in Malibu right on the sand.

There’s a wedding, and teasing, and arguments. There’s sex. A lot of sex. There’s swimming and living and life under the sun.

There’s a thousand things. A million things.

And every day with Tony promises more.

When Peter wakes up, ready for the beach, Tony slathers him with suncream and for some reason it doesn’t feel like he’s trapped.

Maybe it was never about the suncream.

He still loves the beach. And the sunshine. And the gulls swooping low and the sand under his toes, but-

But he doesn’t need it to feel free. He feels free right here, in bed, tangled up with Tony and the promise of more.

#starker #physical inspired #background Steve x peter #no cheating #politician tony #80s setting #aerobics #Peter parker #Tony stark #Tony x peter

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thedragonnerd · 4 years ago

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Rayaari headcanon - let us be sad with some angst and hurt/comfort

(inspired by a lovely anon)

With the rebirth of Kumandra and the return of their lost loved ones, everyone tries to sweep away the last six years, in a desperate attempt to move on with their lives and not waste any more time dwelling on the past.

But the scars, both physical and mental, still remain, and trauma endured cannot simply be washed away. There is a disconnect between people now - especially between those who had to endure the threat of Druuns hanging over their heads for years, and those who have awoken to a new world and changed people.

The most heart-wrenching discovery for Raya is that she doesn't always know what to say to her own Ba. It's been so long since they spent a lot of time together, and she is a very different person now compared to the 12-year-old little girl he threw into the water. Sometimes, she's worried he won't like the person she has become.

She also has more arguments with him than before, especially whenever he treats her more like a small child than the young woman she is today, who has survived hardship he never wanted her to experience. They don't always see eye-to-eye with each other regarding trade, politics and what is best for Heart, with his optimism and her realism clashing. If they don't resolve their disagreement quickly, Namaari will find Raya crying softly in their bedroom; she hates fighting with her Ba.

Raya sometimes sees children from her past, who were turned to stone in the original Druun attack and been frozen in time until now. It feels a lifetime ago that she was the right age to play with them, and when she sees them laughing and playing games, she wonders was I ever really that young?

She carries a weapon on her at all times, unable to shake off the feeling that something might go wrong. She learnt this the hard way when she was thirteen: a market deal in Talon had gone wrong, and she was attacked by two large men when she was only a child and without a weapon or knowledge how to fight back. Her ability to run fast had saved her that day. Since then, she has vowed never to be caught weaponless again.

One morning when Namaari tries to wake her, she accidentally pulls a knife, holding it up to Namaari's neck. Raya is almost sick with the idea that she could have seriously injured Namaari just through instinct, but Namaari just holds her hands until she calms down, rubbing her thumb back and forth. 'I trust you with my life,' she tells Raya.

Raya also still has moments where waves of anger wash over her, striking her unawares and in an uncontrollable manner. One time, Namaari makes an innocuous comment about Benja that sets Raya off, words of anger and blame falling from her lips with malicious intent. She feels awful after having done it - she never meant for Namaari to become the target of her bad emotions that day, and she can see how far it sets back their fledgling relationship. Namaari spirals into several days of guilt before they reconcile again.

For Namaari sees the trauma Raya carries, and can't help but feel responsible. She adds this to the weight of the guilt she has already carried for the past six years, and then bottles it up inside, with the opinion that she doesn't deserve Raya's sympathy, or indeed sympathy from anyone.

She has been raised to place the safety of her people before herself, growing to accept and embrace the risk to her own life every time she had to go out on a mission beyond the Fang borders and into Druun territory. It is something she has always been willing to do if it means keeping the rest of Fang safe, and in this new, safer world it is difficult to shake off these feelings of self-sacrifice being a worthy endeavour.

Indeed, she sometimes thinks that it would have been nobler to have turned to stone herself at some point over the years, but she is also too pragmatic to believe that would absolve her of her sins.

Her way of trying to atone therefore is to help as many people as possible now. Her self-sacrificing thoughts are channeled into working herself to exhaustion, as she tries to juggle fixing Fang's city and palace, expanding her citizen's homes back out into their previously Druun-infested lands, and offering up her services to any of the other lands who need extra support in rebuilding.

All of this responsibility and guilt weighs her down enough that she sometimes gets hit with extreme panic attacks. She manages to get herself to a private location the first few times it happens, but then it strikes in the middle of a sparring session with Raya, and she just sinks to the floor and covers her face with her hands.

She can faintly hear Raya asking 'what's wrong?' and feels a hand being placed on her trembling shoulder. She opens her mouth to tell Raya to go away, but instead chokes out 'Please stay?' It is the first time she has managed to ask for help.

Both of them have scars scattered across their bodies, each with a different story to tell, and some even caused by the other person. Raya is concerned at first that Namaari will find hers ugly, but Namaari soon puts those fears to rest by peppering them with tiny kisses. A couple of Namaari's old injuries give her trouble still, so Raya returns the favour by giving her massages when the pain behind those scars grows too much.

Trauma and loss is not a new concept to either of them, even before the arrival of the Druuns. At night, sometimes Raya sings a song that she can remember her mother using as a lullaby. Namaari doesn't like to discuss her father, but occasionally, safe in the dark, she will mention a story about an adventure they had together.

Over a long period of time, they are both able to release themselves of some of their fears and traumas; others, they learn to live with, or learn how to help the other cope. The most important thing, they find, is being together through it all.

#rayaari #raya and the last dragon #raya and namaari #raya #namaari #ratld #more h/c will be on the way since i had a sick/injury prompt!#so was aiming more for just angsty vibes with this one #although I couldn't let our girls *just* be angsty #had to have some comfort at the end #lots more angst stuff to come #but gotta balance that with the fluffff #all the headcanons #can't stop won't stop

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brodependent · 4 years ago

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Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that.

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way.

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one.

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean.

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces.

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale.

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay.

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation.

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over.

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

#my meta #meta #spn meta #the epic love story of sam and dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn positive #spn #supernatural #carry on #spn finale #sam loves dean as much as dean love sam #winchesters #sam n dean #sam and dean

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bookfandomtalk · 3 years ago

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It took me a while, but I think I finally figured out how Wilbur's fic could fit into canon if acted out better than it was written. (A.k.a., the events still play out the same, but it isn't ooc as hell for Tubbo)

read Wilbur's written story here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/36682660)

It all starts at this segment. Ranboo yells at Tubbo for Tubbo saying that he doesn't trust Wilbur with the horse. The entire segment before this one felt incredibly OOC for the dialogue, and it was clear that cc!Tubbo hadn't been involved in writing that, but it still happened, so I guess we'll have to deal.

“Tubbo!” he snapped “For God’s sake, just give him a chance! I know that I haven’t always made the best decisions with who I trust but this time I swear to you that things may not always be as bad as you think! I mean, People change, people get better and if you never give them a chance to prove it you’ll be stuck hating everyone that has ever wronged you and you won’t have anyone left...” A silence fell over the two. Tubbo’s eyes began to wet and he quickly turned around and walked away.

I can believe that Tubbo would take the verbal abuse. He has a history of getting verbally abused by Schlatt, so that might bring up some memories. But... Tubbo isn't the type to walk away crying. Especially not when the person yelling is Ranboo.

We can still rationalize it though. Tubbo would probably take this to mean that Ranboo has truly chosen Wilbur over him. That the one person he ever opened up to decided to choose someone else almost immediately afterward. He'd still care about Ranboo, but he would believe that Ranboo doesn't care as much about him. Because why else would Ranboo yell at him?

Ranboo felt sick

And clearly, Ranboo realized what he'd done at least in some part also.

But then, when Wilbur and Ranboo come back to Quackity. Tubbo hasn't informed Quackity about what was going on. We later learn this was because Tubbo decided to rescue the horse himself. This, again, confuses me.

Tubbo is canonically a nuclear scientist and a veteran of war. He survived the war with Dream, and he fought alongside Wilbur. There's no way he would have walked up to that horse and not realized that it was a trap.

Either Tubbo was overconfident, and he thought he'd be able to outsmart the trap, or he wanted to die.

We know for a fact that Tubbo already was suicidal, so the second one isn't that much of a stretch. But what then? He's on the pressure plate, and he realized he didn't truly want to die? But Tubbo is smart, and more importantly, he knows that he's smart. He had to have known that if he couldn't get off safely, Ranboo wouldn't be able to either.

But... If Tubbo thought that Ranboo had stopped picking him first, if he thought that Ranboo wouldn't care about him that much, then why would he ever think Ranboo would sacrifice his life for Tubbo?

Until Tubbo stepped off the plate and moved away, and saw Ranboo smiling at him.

Without hesitation Tubbo scrambled towards the ladder connecting the cavern to the viewing platform and climbed it. He turned back to look at Ranboo who smiled at him with the kind eyes he remembered. Tubbo smiled back.

Once Tubbo had ascended the ladder and curled up in the corner Ranboo began to shout.

I still hate this segment, but what if "With the kind eyes he remembered" it meant that Tubbo saw that Ranboo absolutely did still care about Tubbo. And what if Tubbo now realized what Ranboo was doing?

Because then Tubbo would look back, realize that it was too late to try to save Ranboo, and smile at him assuringly "It's okay" because there was nothing else he could do.

The curling up moment would in that case just be him accepting that he wouldn't be able to save his husband from the loss of a canon life. A life that would be lost to an explosion, just like Tubbo's own second life. Even if Tubbo didn't yet know that it was Ranboo's second life that was lost, and not his first.

He'd realize that later, when Technoblade would show up at his house, to ask about a piglin child names Michael, a child that was supposed to be safe from all this conflict.

#tw suicicde #dream smp #tubbo #ranboo #wilbur #c!ranboo #dsmp lore analysis #Wilbur #The Wilbur Van #Quackity #c!tubbo #c!Tubbo angst #c!Tubbo analysis #The Wilburs Van analysis #dsmp lore

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mhevarujta · 4 years ago

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Zoya and the Darkling [Rule of Wolves Spoilers]

It’s a pity that fandoms mostly focus on romantic/sexual relationships, because The Darkling and Zoya have one of the most epic dynamics in the Grishaverse. The way they affect each other is so complex.

Zoya did not go to the Little Palace after being tested in the usual manner of Grisha travelling across Ravka to recruit children with powers. She was a young girl, a child really, living with a bitter and broken mother, in a home where her Suli inheritance was not appreciated, in a country that would condemn her both because of the power she let her demonstrated AND because of who she would have been without it. She was basically sold as a child-bride and her mother deluded herself into thinking that her daughter would not be raped by the old man she was marrying so that she’d feel better about herself, not to mention that she poisoned Zoya with her fears and made her afraid of her own heart. At the wedding her power broke loose and her aunt took her to a hard journey to the Little Palace so that Zoya would be tested and have a chance at a better life.

Zoya was taken in and she was separated from her family, but her aunt was ALWAYS in her heart. She started training and she was stronger than most, she was also driven and resilient. She arrived at the Little Palace when she was 8-9. When she was 13, she was the youngest one to be chosen as part of a group that would travel with the Darkling to Tsibeya to find the white tigers of Ilmisk because one of them was supposed to be an amplifier. By that age, Zoya was half in love with him already and she lived for his rare appearances at the school. She was the best, she had fought to be so, and he wanted him to see it. The Grisha were focused on hunting the female tiger, but the amplifier was a male one. He tried to kill the female’s cubs and Zoya gave them the protection of her body, she got scars that she never had tailored and she almost died, and killed the tiger to defend the cubs; not for the sake of power.

It wasn’t HER turn to get the amplifier, but since she killed the tiger only she could claim it. And THIS brilliant scene happens:

Some part of me always feared that he would send me away, banish me forever from the Little Palace. I told him I was sorry.

“But the Darkling saw me clearly even then. ‘Is that really what you wish to say?’ he asked.”

Zoya pushed a dark strand of her hair behind her ear. “So I told him the truth. I put my chin up and said, ‘They can all hang. It was my blood in the snow.’”

Nikolai stifled a laugh and a smile played over Zoya’s lips. It dwindled almost instantly, replaced by a troubled frown. “That pleased him. He told me it was a job well done. And then he said … ‘Beware of power, Zoya. There is no amount of it that can make them love you.’”

The weight of the words settled over Nikolai. Is that what we’re all searching for? Was that what he’d hunted in all those library books? In his restless travels? In his endless pursuit to seize and then keep the throne? “Was it love you wanted, Zoya?”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so. I wanted … strength. Safety. I never wanted to feel helpless again.”

“Like calls to like” fits the Darkling and Alina, but it also fits Zoya and the Darkling… in fact it fits Zoya and Aleksander even more so. Both were powerful and KNEW it. Both eventually learned to be unapologetic about it and saw it as their safety net. Both were taught that power would give them safety, survival, fulfillment in some ways, but not love. And yet, as much as they denied it and hid their hearts they DID want to be loved more than anything.

Zoya only rises thereafter. She gets her rank, she is one of the most valued Grisha in the Little Palace, she is admired for her strength and beauty, she armors herself with arrogance, and ruthlessness. But she has not friends. Both her and the Darkling are surrounded by people, they are admired, but they don’t have people close to their heart. The Darkling always cared about Baghra as much as he could still manage and Zoya cared only bout Liliyana and Lada (an orphan girl that her aunt had taken in).

The Darkling SAW her. He saw how she tried like no other, he saw her pain, her anger and he considered these to be things that he could use to control her and to push her towards the direction he desired. And despite not being appreciative of her devotion when he had it, he missed it when it was gone.

When Alina got in the picture everything changed for Zoya. Yes, Zoya had feelings for the Darkling and I DO believe that her feelings and vanity would have been hurt to some extent by the intimacy in the way he approached Alina, but the primary problem was Zoya’s sense of injustice. Zoya had tried for YEARS, had trained hard, had sacrificed to be where she is. Alina never asked for any of it, but from Zoya’s perspective Alina would have been an untrained Grisha who got all the status, power and recognition that SHE had fought for without even trying. Until then, Zoya had been praised for wanting power, but when her anger is not convenient anymore, the Darkling punishes her for it and does not have a second thought about her.

And yet she remained loyal as always.

Even more so than rank, the Darkling and Liliyana were Zoya’s safety-net. And in ONE MOMENT, by genociding Novokribirsk, Zoya’s own mentor, the one who gave her safety and who was meant to create a haven for the Grisha, a person who KNEW her and who KNEW that she had family there, showed that he had no care for her, not care for human life and she wiped out the last people that Zoya loved.

He left her broken inside. In Siege and Storm, Zoya was at her lowest. She has to plead to Alina to have a position in the second army and she has to reveal a part of her heart; not just her loss of Liliyana. Her voice BREAKS when she says that the Darkling could have warned her of his plan; her pain at the idea that he did not give a crap about taking EVERYTHING from her is raw and cutting.

But she is not a quitter. She adjusts, she pulls her pieces together fast, she is a warrior and she stays on the right side without a question.

Then the Darkling attacked the very Grisha he was supposedly fighting for and killed half the people that Zoya had EVER KNOWN. And she still keeps fighting.

Enter Rule of Wolves. There is SUCH DEEP IRONY in this book and the way Zoya and the Darkling’s arcs interconnect is a prime example of Leigh’s amazing writing.

The Darkling had told Zoya that they would change the world and he completely stopped paying attention to her the moment the potential of Alina’s power blinded him to anything else. And yet, when he returns Zoya has gained the kind of power that could eventually rival his own. But he STILL thinks that he should be the one to rule Ravka. He still thinks that he is the best option for the country. And once more, he criminally underestimates Zoya and overestimates himself.

Who else is vengeful and afraid of his own heart, I wonder…

Aleksander considered Zoya weak for the very same things that were his own fatal flaws.

But unlike him, Zoya SAW her flaws. The Darkling shut himself off more and more in order to save himself from pain. Zoya eventually opened up her heart to grief and pain to become the person her country needed and to embrace her power. She opened the door, when the Darkling did not manage to do so. She showed more courage than he did… and he SAW it.

Aleksander hoped to become the savior during the battle, he wished to demonstrate how only HE could save Ravka. But seeing Nikolai and Zoya defending the country is the first time it registers that there are others who are up to the task and who may be better suited than he is.

And he becomes essential in Zoya being accepted as a saint and in her rise to power partly because he wants to gain her favor but also because he finally sees all her potential, all she can achieve, how a Grisha queen of such power might give the Grisha the haven they need, when he clearly can’t.

And what is left for him to do? What does he want? He wants to serve the country he loves in a way that will affirm his sense of self-importance (he wants to offer something that no one else can) and he wants to be loved. So his new objective is to stop the blight.

The blight was created because of his own power. This man who hunted down and ruined the life of a young girl (Alina) in order to force her to be his balance, so that he could freely use his power in a very imbalanced way, finally realizes that HE is responsible for his power and that HE can be the only one to balance it and himself. So there is a new path he sees ahead of him: he can sacrifice himself to stop the blight and in the process Ravka might finally see that he always wanted to protect the country… and it might love him back. He KNOWS that he has committed crimes, he does not seek redemption, but he desired for all he has done to matter. And it can’t matter if he is not at all responsible for its country’s well-being and if everyone hates him. He has lived so many lifetimes without happiness or fulfillment and they would all have been wasted.

But he can’t achieve this by himself. This man who always thought that he could do things alone, and who took away everything Zoya had fought for, NEEDS her allowance for his centuries-long life to gain a scrap of meaning. He needs her allowance to be appreciated and loved.

I can’t be the only one who sees what a beautiful twist of fate this is.

At the same time Zoya herself understands the Darkling. She understands how anger and using power as a coping mechanism can corrupt. Knowing herself and seeing how he turned out are essential in her becoming a good ruler. He is the cautionary tale of what she could but will never allow herself to become.

When he explains his plan, she KNOWS that he’ll be in eternal pain and she has does not mind that his will be his fate. But when she sees the aftermath of his sacrifice and when she feels the kind of pain he’ll be experiencing for eternity, it leaves her shaken. She feels that pain in her own heart and this is not a fate that she wishes even on him. Genya and Alina are very much willing to let him rot but Zoya, who also believed that she could forgive him, feels that she has to.The Darkling has not redeem himself. He is doing penance. But as Genya mentions, there’s a fine line when one has to do the math of how much a person has to pay and of how much pain they have to feel before their punishment stops being just and they become victims instead. Zoya, being afraid of becoming him, knows that learning to show forgiveness is the only way forward, it’s the way for her to keep her heart open and not become the avalanche.

Zoya Nazyalensky has become everything that Aleksander Morozova, the lost boy, wished to be. Poweful, eternal, with friends, with a true partner, holding the best position a Grisha could imagine without forcing her rule and finally giving their people a true chance without comprominsing them.

The Darkling was hoping that Alina would have been his balance. We are told how she might make him a better man and she might make him a monster.

But at the end of the day it’s Zoya who allows the Darkling to become the closest thing to decent that he can be at this point.

It’s the Darkling’s life that allows Zoya to see the lines that she will not cross and how to not become a monster.

And it’s Zoya’s ability to forgive him and her willingness to save him that becomes the backbone for the next phase of the Grishaverse, whenever Leigh decides to write it.

The way their paths entangle will always be at the core of the story.

_______________________

@myfriendscallmeraba I’m tagging you because you asked for it. It’s very encouraging to have someone interested in my ramblings.

#shadow and bone #rule of wolves #row #zoya nazyalensky #the darkling #aleksander morozova #sab meta #row meta

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thechangeling · 3 years ago

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Five

Ok so I actually got this idea awhile ago long before someone suggested it on here. Ty finding a letter that Christopher Lightwood wrote.

Tbh I don't know if I got Christopher's voice right. I tried my best!

I listened to Five and Mind by SAL while writing this.

Cw: Mentions of ableism.

For the future,

To whomever may be reading this, I would first and foremost like to begin by mentioning that I have not the slightest idea why I am writing this letter. Perhaps I have gone mad, just like everyone always says.

I believe most importantly that I have a strong desire to maintain hope for the future. Hope for a future that can and will include people like me. Shadowhunters who are different like me. And as I reach out into the void, across the empty chasm of time, I cannot stop myself from wondering.

Wondering what your life has been like. Wondering if your childhood was as lonely and frightening and complex as mine. Wondering if you were also seen as the outcast. Strange and offputting, but brilliant.

The smart one.

Do you find yourself with the inexplicable need to pull apart every peice of this fascinating existence and examine it at greater length? To analyze and discover answers to questions you honestly did not even realize you had until that very moment? Do you think like I do?

I am very fond of science. Some might say too fond. Most shadowhunters find it unusual for a fellow shadowhunter to be so invested in what they view as mundane business. I suppose shadowhunters are meant to be fighters and not scientists, which I find utterly ridiculous. Science is the key to everything. As a matter if fact, I have proven time and again how useful it can be to be to examine a problem from all possible angles rather then continuing to believe that there is only one right way.

Nephilum are stubborn as you know, and they can also be cruel. I am sure you understand just how painful it can be to be different, especially when no one will ever let you forget it.

The people I grew up with, my family and friends for the most part mean well. My parents always encountered my interests and never scolded me for behaving in a way that others may have thought to be abnormal. My friends however, are a more complicated story. There love has always felt, strange. Lack-luster in some ways, almost superficial.

They never took an interest in my experiments or listening to me talk about them. Which I understand, some people seem to find science frightfully dull. However it always hurt, knowing that the people who claimed to be my friends did not fully accept me.

I think you'll find a lot of that in your life. People will only take a liking to certain parts of you, often requiring you to pretend to be something you're not to gain their approval. You will need to twist and remold yourself into a more appropriate shape. But if you are here, reading this letter then I beg of you, please learn from my mistakes. Do not lose yourself.

Please do not sacrifice one precious bit of that brilliant mind. It is your most treasured possession. I understand this world and this society are harsh and cruel. There are people who will want to use you for their own personal gain. They will see you as what you can do for them and not as a whole person. We are only valuable to them if we can serve them. To make revolutionary discoveries or to create brilliant masterpieces. Please remember that you belong to yourself and you do not have to please them to be great.

Yes you can change the world, but please heed my words and remember that you do not have to. You can save them from themselves, from their own stupidity and arrogance. But do they deserve it?

Finally, I wish to leave off on a more pleasant note. I want you to remember that no matter how lonley and isolated you may feel, you are never alone. We have always existed and we always will. Whatever you decide to do with this life, I want you to remember to trust yourself and trust that only you know what is right for you. No one else.

In a world that demonizes and dehumanizes those who are different, the most powerful act of defiance you can perform, is loving yourself. I can proudly say that I have finally managed to do exactly that.

I encourage you to do the same.

Sincerely,

Christopher "Kit" Lightwood.

Ty didn't realize he was crying until he saw the droplets of water hitting the page. Quickly he set the letter down beside him and quoted his eyes to avoid ruining the old parchnent any further.

He had been exploring the attic in Ciernworth while Kit looked after Mina downstairs. Ty found he could only take so much of the three year olds antics before he needed a break. Kit didn't seem offended. He understood that sometimes Ty just needed to be alone.

Which had led him to finding the letter hidden into a hole in the wall.

Ty was stunned. He was feeling a lot of things, none of which he could quite get a grip on. He knew of Christopher Lightwood of course, he was a shadowhunter legend. Did this letter mean?

Was Christopher...like him? Autistic? Was that what he had been referring to? Of course Christopher wouldn't have had the words back then.

But he still knew, Ty thought. Just like I knew.

The tears came again as he let Christopher's words sink in.

Kit, his brain supplied. He went by Kit. Just like my Kit.

By the angel that really wasn't helping. Ty picked up the letter again.

"You are never alone," he read out loud. And it felt real. It felt tangible, like Christopher was speaking to him in the room, like he was holding Ty's hand. Like Ty could just reach out.

It felt like a lifeline.

Ty let out a shakey breath that then formed into a laugh as he let the tears dry on his cheeks.

"Thank you," he whispered into the empty silence.

And Ty could only hope that the message was recieved.

Tag list lmk if u wanna be removed/added.

@playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @dianasarrow @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @the-wckd-powers @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @felicitygeorgia @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @eutonyinwhisper

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #twp #ty blackthorn #christopher lightwood #tlh

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chocolatte-and-despair · 4 years ago

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Yandere FNAF Headcanons: Part 4

Pigpatch

Pigpatch is a self-sacrifice yandere. From the moment that he had met you, he knew that you were a good person. You were sweet to everyone and made everyone's shitty life a tad bit better with you around. It was no surprise that Pigpatch had fallen for you almost immediately. Thought, he had never pushed himself on you, seeing as he wanted you to be happy. Just watching you from afar is enough for him, seeing as he doesn't want to take your goodness from everyone else. The moment that a dangerous situation arose, without a second thought, Pigpatch choose to protect you instead of himself, getting horribly hurt, but he didn't care one little bit, as he asked if you were okay. From that moment, he always ended up like that.

BonBon

BonBon is a worshipper yandere. Everything about you is absolutely perfect for Bonbon. From the way you talk to the way you smile. Bonbon always finds himself watching you, blushing whenever you seem to be doing something. Whenever he is around you, you can bet that you will find him watching you. The moment that you reject Bonbon, he would be confused. He has been watching you all the time and you haven't been interested in anyone before, so why are you rejecting him? He doesn't understand what is the problem? Why aren't you accepting him!?

Rockstar Bonnie

Rockstar Bonnie is a worshipper yandere. Since the moment that he heard you playing, he couldn't believe how talented you are! At any second, he tries to listen to you and compliment your work. He really is your biggest fan and he hopes that you understand that. Whenever someone else tries to act like they care about you, Rockstar Bonnie gets angry with them. How dare they act like they care about you when they clearly don't care like he does. The moment that you would reject him, he would stay quiet. He was your biggest fan. He could really make you happy... He could give you everything that you want, why aren't you accepting him? Is there someone else..? There better not be... or he'll make them disappear.

Nightmare

Nightmare is a loneliness-inducing yandere. From the moment that he started to hunt you, he knew that the only way to keep you to himself was to make sure that you would always be alone. You didn't need other people. But making you scared of everyone and everything will make it easier to make you avoid everyone. The moment that you try to break away from him, Nightmare gets extremely angry, before locking you up. You wanted to try and run away from him? To who? Please, you have nobody left. And it's all your fault. So stop being so difficult.

Rockstar Foxy

Rockstar Foxy is a stalker yandere. Whenever he has a second he can spare, he will make sure that he will find you and watch you from afar. He knows that you are always busy, so, he doesn't really want to waste your time by actually trying to talk to you. He just wants you to be able to relax. When you would find out about him stalking you, he would probably act very apologetic, but he wouldn't really stop. He would say that he did, but he just became much better at it. Maybe you should have stayed quiet. At least, then you would have known when he was watching you.

Phantom Freddy

Phantom Freddy is a manipulative yandere. For a long time, he had acted like he is your guardian angel, and because of that, he has been telling you lies about what other people were saying about you, making you a not so much liked person, just like Phantom Freddy wanted. He wanted to keep you to himself and he can exactly that. When you figure out that he actually isn't a guardian angel, and would ask him to leave you alone, Phantom Freddy would really get angry, before threatening to hurt everyone you care about, if you try to leave. Trust me, he can and will do it. Don't try him.

Phantom Foxy

Phantom Foxy is an isolating yandere. Because of him not wanting to be alone, he always made sure that you would only spend time with him. Whenever you wouldn't, he would end up hurting the people that you were spending time with, causing you to get a nickname that you were cursed, making no one want to be near you. When you begged him to leave you alone, Phantom foxy would laugh before saying that he was never going to leave because he loved you more than anyone else and you needed to understand that.

Glamrock Freddy

Glamrock Freddy is a submissive yandere. He usually always takes control of the show, but from the moment that you came around, he felt safe and content with you. He did everything you told him to do. He always thought what you wanted him to think. He was the perfect person for you, doing and becoming whatever you wanted him to be. The moment that you started to move away from him, Glamrock Freddy would start getting more aggressive. You were his, so where the hell do you think you are going? Get back here before he hurts you!

Nightmare Bonnie

Nightmare Bonnie is an eliminating yandere. His first reaction to approaching someone who he is jealous of is killing them. If he is worried about something, he won't ask you about it. He will just do something about it. Sadly, that something usually ends up being killing someone. Nightmare Bonnie would probably kill you too if you try to leave him. He isn't willing to stand behind and let you leave and get with someone else. So, it's best if you just die if you aren't willing to be his.

Nedd Bear

Nedd Bear is a harmless yandere. He really does love you. Because of that, he tries his very best to become everything you want, just so you would be with him, but he never goes out of his way to hurt someone or hurt you when he doesn't get his way. He keeps all of those feelings inside of him. When you would reject Nedd Bear, he would get very sad but would agree that he won't try to pursue anymore. He might not be trying to pursue you anymore, but trust me when I say that he still keeps his eyes out for you and will make sure to try and push other romantic partners of yours away, without you knowing.

Bonnie

Bonnie is a wrong idea yandere. From the moment that you smiled at him, he believed that you liked him. Bonnie always had a nasty personality, that's why when someone as sweet as you actually showed him interest, it meant that you actually liked him, right? Why else would you do that? And please don't lie to him, he knows you like him. When you would keep insisting that you don't like him the way he likes you, Bonnie would start getting even angrier. Is someone else trying to take you from him? Because he doesn't mind getting rid of an obstacle to making you stop lying.

El Chip

El Chip is an obsessive yandere. The two of you were close friends and because of that, El Chip became obsessed with you before even his romantic feelings developed. After his romantic feelings started to develop, he realized that he had to use all of the info he had about you to make sure that you are happy with him. When you tell him you only see him as a friend, El Chip's obsession would only worsen. Before, he was obsessed because he was in love, and now, his obsession worsened because he couldn't have you.

Foxy

Foxy is a stalker yandere. Because of his tendencies, he always stalked the people that he was interested in. Be it a friend, or well, a crush. He was always left in the backstage, so, just to be able to watch someone he cared about, he needed to stalk them. It was the only thing that he found comfort in. If you would reject him, Foxy would get really angry with you. Why are you doing this to him too? Weren't you supposed to be different? You should care about him, but instead, you are acting like this! Stop right now, and actually give a shit about him... Or else, he will hurt you.

Springtrap

Springtrap is a manipulative yandere. Fear has always been the best motivator. He always knew that and he was going to make sure to use that to manipulate. If you would always be afraid, you couldn't think straight and would allow him to do whatever he wanted with you. That was absolutely perfect for him. The moment that someone would try to save you, Springtrap would torture them in front of you, using that as a teaching moment for you, to show what will happen to you if you ever try to run away from him again.

Scraptrap

Scraptrap is a dependant yandere. Because of his sorry state, he is always dependant on you to make him work well enough. It was always embarrassing for him to admit it, but he loved it when you took such good care of him... He always promised himself that he would return the favor one day. The way he decided to return the favor was by killing someone you found to be very close to you. Why? Because he was jealous. He was jealous of all of them trying to take you away.. Now that you only had him, you didn't need to worry about anything.

Funtime Freddy

Funtime Freddy is a projective yandere. You were always cute, and small, just like bonbon. Bonbon and Funtime Freddy are very close, that's why it was no surprise that he got attached to you almost immediately. And seeing as he was a robot, and couldn't exactly express his feelings right, he always came off as a little bit too strong on you. The moment that you would confront him about it, he would ask you if he did something wrong, and if that was the case, why you thought it was wrong. He isn't a human, and he doesn't have a ghost possessing him. He doesn't understand why something is upsetting you.

Nightmare Foxy

Nightmare Foxy is a stalker yandere. No matter where you go, he is there. He will find a way to be around you and watch you, sometimes just hiding in your closet and watching you from there. He knows that it's wrong, but does he really care? No. He wants you and he will make sure he will get you. After you tried to reject him, Nightmare Foxy would decide that if you couldn't tell him an answer that he liked, then you didn't need a tongue. He would make sure to rip it off and then ask you again. Hopefully, you will use your head for the right answer.. Wouldn't want to rip that off too, right?

Nightmare Fredbear

Nightmare Fredbear is a manipulative yandere. He knows all of your little quirks and he will make sure to use them well to get what he wants from you. A part of him feels sorry for the things he does to you, but that part isn't loud enough for him to actually stop. Just know that at some point he did have a coincidence. Just not anymore. If you tried to tell anyone about what he does to you, well, that person will end up in one of the empty suits, let me tell you that much. Don't try to search for help when you don't need help.

Nightmare Freddy

Nightmare Freddy is a fear-inducing yandere. Nightmare Freddy's perfect way to make you his is by making you scared. He uses his little freddies to stalk you and to always remind you that you are never alone. No matter the place or time, you will always find a small freddy watching you, signaling that you aren't alone. Sadly, if you would try to leave, he would just kill you. He doesn't believe you deserve living if you think you want to leave. You should know better than to try and want for something as stupid as freedom.

Funtime Foxy

Funtime Foxy is an obsessive yandere. From the moment that he met you, he knew you were perfect for him. You were just so funny and liked playing with him too! Honestly, he knew that you were his favorite person in the entire world. He also would always get jealous when someone else would try to talk to you, always getting pouty and trying to pull you away. If you would try to slowly turn Funtime Foxy down, he would just laugh and say that he will keep trying until you love him! He won't hurt you or anyone else, but he isn't going to really stop until you say yes and get together with him.

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