#acacia house

[jasmine7031]

No17:Strolling around St. Helena and had dinner

The grapes and apples were starting to change color. Last night's pork( Iberico Pork Schnitzel ) was so delicious that I had it again.

*Marco Polo Style Hamachi

*CollarLiberty Farms Duck Breast & Tenbrink Farm Fruit

[gravityfying]

a future toh AU thing i've been planning for more than a year now (hence my hiatus, among personal stuff in the background) since i've been busy trying to finalize the designs and pre-making some content for it.

[pixlime]

Minecraft discourse is SO funny I'm ngl. You'll see people screaming and trying to convince you that the more saturated and less polished look was wayyy better, or people convinced you're bad at the game because you like one kind of wood for building over another

[iruludavare]

{ ooc. Sometimes I think about how much Serena loves to have her pokemon involved in her life outside of battling/usual day-to-day stuff

like... just the little things that were part of her life before being a trainer

Doing her morning exercises with her Lucario because, hey, the flexibility and strength training absolutely has benefits for him when battling.

When she is practicing choreography at home, letting her Florges dance alongside her in what ways she can. Hell, even letting her Florges be part of the background cast in appropriate scenes like for balls/parties in S.wa.n La.k.e, Sleeping B.ea.uty, etc. (tell me that isn't a common practice in the pokemon world) You KNOW she's rehearsed the most difficult bits of the rose adage (this, until the end of the dance) by having her Delphox, Florges, Lucario and Vivillon/or Drfiblim standing in for the princes' roles so she can get balancing on the very tips of the toes of one leg and being turned around for an entire minute without moving down pat.

She's doing an ice bath after dancing?? Oleander gets one too, but mainly because he just likes to prove that he's ✨strong enough to withstand ice😤✨.

Spa/self-care days?? She's got everything in equivalents that her pokemon can use so they can all do it together.

Gardening?? They're all there with her doing what they can to contribute (much to her Florges' chagrin. She is tired of telling Oleander hydro pump is too rough on plants and to tone it down) }

[loosesodamarble]

Hi Erika! I’m so glad you’re playing my game too (thanks for the reblog! 🥰). 💖 please? Thank you 🥺

Hee hee! Im very happy to be using your ask game too! Takes me a bit of time to answer but that’s because I wanna give good answers. 😅💖

And now for me to tell you what characters you remind me of~!

Finral Roulacase (Black Clover)

You love the Space Bros very much so I at first thought to compare you to Finesse. But someone already beat me to it… However, thinking again, Finral suits you just as well if not better. You’re very open with your heart, like Finral (at least from what you show online). And while you might not be the aggressive type, you can get fired up for what you believe in like him.

Emelaigne Widdensov (Cinderella Phenomenon)

I also think you’re like Emelaigne (a supporting character from a beloved otome of mine). Em is unfortunately not present in many of the routes (poor baby girl only plays a major role in Rod’s route and 😭), and well, I can’t interact with you as much as I’d like to. But I understand that you have to take your breaks and put yourself first. Still, even though you’re not online all the time, you are always loved and appreciated, like Emelaigne. Also like her, you see the best in others and show a strong will when the situation calls for it.

And finally,

Emilico (Shadows House)

I think you’re like Emilico from Shadows House! She’s cheerful! You’re cheerful! You both shows determination in difficult circumstances. And similar to how Emilico brings out the best in those around her, I think you do an excellent job of showing the nuance and love of a tough character like Langris. Not quite the same, but a similar ideal. 💖

[acacia-may]

More House Vaude Drama Thoughts...

Hi, I'd like to chime in with more House Vaude Drama ramblings given all the recent discussion going around (which I guess was started by me, sorry everyone lol 😂). @lyranova, @loosesodamarble, and @just-a-little-fan-1793, none of you have to read this (and sorry for the tag), but I couldn't figure out whose post would be most appropriate for me to reblog with my added thoughts so I've just decided to create a new post with more thoughts and tag y'all in case you want to see it. 😅

Long story short, the purpose of this post is that I'm not sure how well I explained my own personal feelings on this topic in my original ask (which Lyra so kindly answered and I've gone ahead and linked here) since my big issue with this whole convoluted mess isn't so much that it's a convoluted mess or that I shipped Vanessa with Finral first or even that Finral and Finesse's relationship had some flaws in the way it was presented in the canon. My real problem with all of this is how wrapped up it all is with the possibility of Finral returning House Vaude, his abusive home that he left for extremely good reason. But my thoughts on this topic were really long so I've put most of them below the cut... 😅 Thanks in advance for indulging my ramblings.

(Warnings: Black Clover spoilers and implied/referenced/discussed child abuse and gaslighting. There also are some constructive (but, I will admit, relatively blunt) criticisms of these pairings and how they were handled by the narrative)

I'd like to start by reiterating that I like both the Finral x Vanessa and Finral x Finesse ships, and I'd go so far as to say that I actually really like that romance isn’t the main focus of Black Clover. I truthfully didn't get into shipping in the series that much because it was so sidelined which really allows the strong friendships and familial bonds (especially in those wonderful found families) to shine!

Also, to this point, I love Finral and Vanessa as just platonic friends just like @just-a-little-fan-1793 mentioned (and on some level, honestly might prefer them that way). That said, I still think the manga did a much better job of qualifying their relationship in that way. When I mentioned in my original ask that I felt the anime played up Finral and Vanessa in a romantic sense, I really blame the English dub for that as I feel like the original Japanese anime played things much less flirty and much more familial teasing between them (it's the delivery of some lines, especially the ones in the sea temple). I've seen both, and I think if I had watched the Japanese first, I would have felt similarly that they were just good friends as I really don't have the strongest "romance detector" in the world and tend to default to platonic friendships unless whacked over the head with the romance. 😅😂

For me, some of those exchanges between them were just too flirtatious (in English). Maybe I was just looking through the lens of my own experience knowing that some of my dearest and closest friends are guys and I'm a woman, and I would never ever talk to my guy friends that way, especially if I knew they were as desperate for love as Finral. I realize part of that is just Vanessa being Vanessa but at the same time, it's (arguably) irrefutably that she is Finral's "best friend"...she knows him better than most people which means she knows how at least a part of him is going to take her saying she'd "let [him] take [her] on a date" if they survive the sea temple battle (and so on). It seems unreasonably cruel to tease him like that if she had him firmly in the "Brother Zone." (Not saying she wants to date him just that I felt there was a least the tiniest sliver of potential there for this reason. Even if the potential is barely 0.0001%, it's still more than zero. I just don't think she would've said it to Finral (again because she knows what he's like and how he'd take it), if the potential was zero). This line was not in the manga, so again, I blame the anime for the confusion which I think is a point that Lyra @lyranova and I both really agree on.

To the Finral x Finesse point, I agree with Erika @loosesodamarble that Finral and Finesse's relationship was handled poorly by the narrative in a troubling variety of different ways. Finesse should have (and easily could have) been mentioned sooner and it should have been made clear that Finral really was pining after her this whole time. Also, this "joke" that it's turning into is not funny and is honestly concerning for Finral's mental health, like he's gaslighting himself and we're all supposed to laugh at it?? It's bizarre and I'm really not a fan.

I would like to state for the record however, that my biggest concern with this pairing is not that I prefer Vanessa for Finral (honestly I'm not sure that I do if it was just personality-wise as I like both pairings equally in that respect but the situation things surrounding a Vanessa x Finral relationship are far less troubling to me which is why I think I tend to lean that direction). My biggest concern isn't even that the narrative kind of botched the Fin Fin execution--I'd be willing to forgive that since I do love Finral x Finesse as a pairing, but what I cannot possibly get over is that I can't think of remotely believable situation in which Finral can marry Finesse without going back to House Vaude. She is the king's grandniece, promised in an arranged marriage, and chronically ill. She also is meek and traditional just by nature. She can't and (I would argue) won't just elope with Finral. I'm sorry. I wish that was the case, but it isn't. If/when they try to make an elopement (or a "Finral gets the girl but Langris gets the estate" situation) happen in the canon, it will feel cheap, unrealistic, and/or nonsensical to me, and I say that as someone who actually ships this pairing and wants to root for them (which is a big source of my frustrations). Unless House Vaude miraculously burns to the ground (we can only hope right🤞), Finral will live there if he marries Finesse. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Which leads me to my main issue, I would rather gnaw off a limb than see Finral return to his abusive home, and I honestly say that with very little hyperbole. Now, I'll disclaimer this by saying I have a lot of personal connection to this topic (probably too much to stay level-headed about it) having loved a "Finral" (someone who ran away from an abusive situation in eerily similar circumstances) in real life and that may cloud my judgment a little bit here because, to be frank, the idea of that person returning to their abusive home for any reason at all makes me feel physically ill. Yes, of course, Finral himself is a fictional character, but the sentiment extends to him too because this whole plotline just hit way too close to home for me to the point where I have lost actual sleep worrying about what's going to happen to Finral and if he's going to go back to House Vaude at the end of the series. I realize there is some projecting there on my part (which is why I mentioned it), but it's the biggest reason I don't think I could really cope with a "Finral's happily ever after involves him becoming Head of House Vaude" ending, especially since Finral's romantic interest in Finesse has been handled so poorly by the narrative that they can't even make the (albeit weak) argument that "Well he loves her so much that it's okay he's going back to House Vaude. His love is so strong it'll help him weather the storm of abuse waiting for him when he goes back there." [For the record, that is a terrible, weak argument just objectively and it would be even if Finral x Finesse was the most perfectly handled ship in the history of the universe, but it can't even begin to be made here when he is literally banging his head against a wall yelling at himself that he actually is in love with her like "sHe'S tHe OnLy OnE fOr Me! Why doesn't anyone believe me?" Probably because you look like you're gaslighting yourself, buddy... 🙄 And yes, this is all just a bad joke, I understand, but it's in really poor taste considering what's at stake here is Finral returning to a toxic environment where he was tormented and abused for nearly two decades until he finally escaped in his adulthood. There is absolutely nothing funny in that.]

My heart breaks for Finral and I feel extremely protective of him, so my biggest concern in all of this House Vaude drama is his safety and well-being. I know that going back to House Vaude (no matter what his reasoning) will not be the best thing for him. Even if he believes that's "what he wants," it really isn't what he wants--it's only what he "thinks" that he wants because he has unrealistic expectations of what returning home will be like (See, his whole "I will make Father acknowledge me" speech when he "declares war" on Langris before leaving for the Heart Kingdom). That's not going to happen. That's never going to happen. The harsh reality is that the Lord and Lady Vaude are horrible, awful people who are incapable of unconditional love--a fact which has messed up both of their sons.

I worry about Langris too, of course, but he at least seems to have a better understanding of the reality of this situation than Finral who still keeps blaming himself like it's somehow his fault his father and stepmother don't love him. He still believes he can "earn" their love and just hasn't yet because there's something wrong with him, whereas by this point in the story, I think Langris is aware that there really is not and was never any love there to earn in the first place. Nothing either him or Finral do will ever be enough for Ledior and Liliane. Langris understands this, and Finral doesn't (which as much as I would love to rescue them both from that hellscape, if one of them has to stay, at least Langris knows what he's getting into).

Finesse unfortunately is way too connected to this house, this situation, and these people on account of the arranged marriage. If she was just some random castle town girl who had no connection to the Vaudes whatsoever, I think I'd have had much less of a problem with her being introduced late because Finral could just marry her without involving his horrible relatives at all (and that is the real issue for me here). But unfortunately, that is not the scenario presented to us by the canon. As it is now, Finesse and House Vaude go hand in hand and likely always will. I think Finesse herself knows this which is why she likely gave Finral space all of those years after he left. I like to think she really does love Finral which then begs the question of what she wants because I can almost guarantee you with 99.9% certainty that if she really does love him and has even the tiniest inkling of a sliver of what has gone on in that House Vaude hellscape (which come on, she cares so deeply for both Finral and Langris (however you want to qualify that) and has been around this family for years now, no matter how much her boys try to protect her from it all, she at least knows some of it or can make an educated guess that there's something dark and sinister in that House behind that perfect persona they try to display to the world), she wouldn't want Finral to step one foot back in there for any reason at all but especially not to be with her.

But yes, to be perfectly fair, this really isn't about Finesse personally. I would have concerns about any relationship for Finral if it involved him going back to House Vaude. (Though I'll admit that Langris' involvement in the whole Finesse situation was so unnecessary and has left a sour taste in my mouth, especially since the way things are playing out in the canon it is much easier for me to believe that Langris is the one who really loves her. Just a personal feeling, but it's not one I can give up and even if he acted like a jerk for a lot of the series, there is something unfair and tragic about the idea of Langris who was abused or tortured in House Vaude just like Finral (only in a different way) getting the rug ripped out from under him losing his house, title, what he worked for his entire life, his sense of identity in a way and (possibly) the only woman he has ever loved to his brother (who needs to stay the **** away from all that House Vaude garbage in the first place) but I digress...). Anyway, I think I settled into Finral x Vanessa mainly because it's not even an option for them to go back to House Vaude (not to mention that having been rescued from abuse herself, there is no way in hell she is letting him go back there).

But these are just my own personal feelings and opinions. Everyone perceives and interprets things differently. Like Lyra said, one of the fun parts of being in a fandom is getting to see all the different perspectives and interpretations. Everyone likes what they like, and it honestly would be really boring around here if everyone was exactly the same and liked exactly the same things so I'm really a big believer in (to paraphrase an old adage) just ship and let ship. I've no problem with either of these ships and no problem with anyone who ships both, one or the other, or neither of them. I personally actually like both of them myself. My only problem is Finral going back to his abusive home and as that seems like a more likely possibility with one (and the one that is most likely to be canon), it does leave me with some big concerns and some sour feelings for what otherwise would have/could have/should have been just a very sweet pairing.

Also, I think I'll just wrap things up with a confession that my favorite ship in this entire "House Vaude Cluster" is actually Finesse x Langris, [and it's honestly the only one I could probably drum up actual passion about as a ship in its own right (outside of this convoluted mess of circumstances, I mean)], but that has everything to do with my own personal preferences and the fact that (as I mentioned earlier) it is easiest for me to believe that Langris loves Finesse more than any other possible pairing in this love urchin. It hadn't been mentioned in any of the previous discussion at all, so I'm mentioning it now just to mention it. ^^ That said, it has nothing to do with anything I discussed here, so do with that information what you will. Cheers!! 💙

[errantgoat]

innocent patch of grass in my town: *exists*

city planning: but what if it was - and hear me out here...a parking lot?

[bernkastel11]

Remember that Shadows dress up for special occasions? This is Acacia's special occasion's outfit:

Acacia: "Yes this is perfect for the occasion, I feel like a princess~!!! This flower crown compliments my look too"

Aria: "Please stay still a little,Acacia-sama. I'm tying the ribbons"

[matexdemolitionptyltd]

Industrial Demolition Acacia Ridge

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[kernigkrafts]

How to select furniture for you renew flat?

Selecting furniture for your newly renovated flat involves several key steps to ensure your space is stylish, functional, and reflective of your personal taste. Here’s a guide to help you make the best choices: 1. Assess Your Space Measure Dimensions: Accurately measure each room to understand the available space. Identify Layouts: Plan the layout to determine the placement and size of…

[jasmine7031]

No16: ACACIA HOUSE

The excellent grilled lamb and Zinfandel were a great pairing.

*Ahi Crudo *Iberico Pork Schnitzel

[dogsrotten]

"sometimes things that are expensive are worse ."

[moomoorare]

Watching Philz stream Chaynaaanne

[thecupidwitch]

Incense Correspondences

Acacia: Divination, Knowledge, Love, Vision

Amber: love, comfort, happiness, healing

Angelica: Protection, harmony, integration, insight and understanding, stability, meditation

Anise: emotional balance, banishing and protection

Apple: Friendship, Happiness, Lust, Love

Basil: luck, success, money, mental clarity, cheerfulness, concentration

Bay: Purification, Power, Power, Banishing

Bayberry: Prosperity, Control, Happiness

Benzoin: Emotional Balance, Business,

Bergamot: Money, prosperity, Protection, Confidence, Strength, Courage

Cardamom: Confidence, Courage, Mental clarity, Enthusiasm, Motivation

Carnation: Healing, Love, Lust, Protection, Strength

Cedar: Purification

Cedarwood: Purification, Grounding, Protection, Money, Balance, Insight, Wisdom 

Chamomile: Harmony, Calm, Spiritual, Inner peace

Cinnamon: Wealth, Success, Prosperity, Aphrodisiac, Stimulation, Healing

Citronella: Cleansing, Healing, Warding

Clove: Business success, Wealth, Eases fears, Pain relief

Copal: Love, purification, protection, exorcism

Cypress: Self-assurance, Confidence, Strength, Concentration, Eases anxiety and stress, Physical vitality, Willpower, Divination, Astral projection

Dragon's Blood:  Protection, Exorcism, Purification, Courage, Magickal power

Eucalyptus: Healing, Purification, Protection

Frankincense: Consecration, Spirituality, Astral strength, Courage, Exorcism, Dedication

Gardenia: Peace and love

Ginger: Stability, Wealth, Lust, Sex

Hibiscus: Divination,Love, Lust

Honeysuckle: Luck, Good fortune, Happiness, Friendship, Healing

Hyacinth: New beginnings, Happiness, Protection

Jasmine: Love, Sensuality, Money, Dreams, Purification, Wisdom

Juniper: Calming, Protection, Healing

Juniper Berry: Wisdom, Exorcism 

Lavender: Peace, Tranquility, Sleep, Cleansing, Relaxation

Lemon: Purification, Healing

Lemongrass: Purification, Mental Clarity, Hex and Curse Breaking

Lilac: Warding, Clairvoyance, Peace

Lotus: Spirituality, Happiness, Meditation, Wisdom

Magnolia: Beauty, Purification, Spring

Musk: Lust, Sexuality, Prosperity, Courage

Myrrh: Divination, Spirituality, Wisdom, Psychic power, Visions, Healing, Consecration, Exorcism

Opium: Lucid and Prophetic dreams

Orange: Love, Luck, Money, Divination

Orange Blossom: Luck, New Beginnings

Passionflower: Sensuality, Friendship, Calm

Patchouli: Growth, Progression, Money, Love, Sensuality

Peppermint: Mental stimulant, Exorcism, Healing

Pine: Cleansing, Insight, Grounding, Strength, Exorcism, Healing

Rose: Love, House blessing, Fertility, Healing

Rose Geranium: Courage, Protection

Rosemary: Healing

Sage: Purification, Cleansing, Clarity, Exorcism

Sandalwood: Spirituality, Visions, Peace, Serenity, Healing, Protection, Astral projection

Strawberry: Love, Friendship, Luck

Sweet Pea: Friendship, Love, Courage

Vanilla: Memory, Lust, Mental alertness

Vetivert: Money, Peace, Love

Violet: Psychic visions, Wisdom, Luck, Love, Protection, Healing

Wormwood: Astral projections, Helps to enhance the mind faculties

Yarrow: Courage, Exorcism

Ylang Ylang: Happiness, Love, Harmony

source1: The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews by Scott Cunningham

source 2: https://witchesofthecraft.com/2015/06/05/incense-their-magickal-correspondences/

[moonwoodhollow]

'Commissioned by Marina Ward, the illustrious actress who until this day holds the record with most nominations for the Starlight Accolades (14) and wins (5), Acacia Park has been one of the most famous celebrity mansions since the 1950s. The house was built in a straightforward midcentury architectural style and boasts a lush garden, a spacious pool and a greenhouse, where Marina grew her rare orchids. A hobby that the actress took up in her later years. Her daughter Judith, also a famous actress, grew up in Acacia Park, which she called her home for more than 40 years and is now parting with it with a heavy heart. ‘I'm just too rarely there, my centre of life has been Champs le Sims for many years and Charles and I just don't get round to looking after the house.’ The film diva is therefore selling the house and is hoping for a buyer who ‘appreciates Acacia Park and its history and breathes new life into it.’ (Architectural Digest: Del Sol Valley Special Issue)

- private build commission for @kimorasimz

full lot view under the cut + a little bonus!

the lady of the mansion playtesting her lot!

[metamorphesque]

Short Story: "Why do flowers die so soon?", Vardges Petrosyan

(translated from Armenian by Tathev Simonyan)

…I remember the last days of my life, which were unlike any that had come before. To the world, I seemed so happy: I had brothers, a sister, a family, a child who was a bell and a brook’s murmur. What else could one need for happiness? And yet, something was missing, for I was not happy. And then, out of nowhere, she poured into my life.

Has it ever happened that, on a hot summer day, while you’re standing there, dazed by the sun and dreams, someone playfully poured cold water on your neck? At first, you might startle, maybe even scold the one who did it, but then you suddenly feel that’s exactly what you’d been standing in the sun for, perhaps you’d been standing your whole life just for that.

That’s how she poured into my life—wild and astounding, asking for nothing, careless as could be. Now I can’t even recall if she was beautiful. In her eyes, there was an inquisitive sadness, a sliver of sky, and a bit of rustling. It felt as though those eyes were always gazing at life, asking, “Why...?” She came uninvited, wrapped herself around my days like a grapevine curling up its wooden stakes, offering me all the clusters of her youth—everything she had. And she asked for nothing. Nothing at all. Until the very end, I couldn’t convince her that I loved her too. Perhaps I didn’t truly believe it then, for I kept reminding myself every moment: I have no right to love her. And maybe that’s why, when she laid her whole life at my feet, I kept glancing at my watch; she brought me the full nakedness of her youth, while I closed the curtains and turned off the light. I never went out in public with her, and the world never found out that I was finally happy. Our love was akin to a fire we tried to cover with our hands, though the flame was scorching and uncontainable.

I’m afraid my beginning is dragging on too long.

I was ill before I died. All day long, my mother, my brothers, and my wife—sorrowful and pale—remained by my side, though in those last days, we no longer understood or recognized one another. Only she was missing, the one I waited for and loved most. She couldn’t come to our house. My brothers knew I would die; the doctor had told them so. They believed it, perhaps even expected it—sad and resigned. Only my mother didn’t believe it, though not because she was unaware of what the doctor had said…

Perhaps it’s best if I tell you about my last day. By then, I already knew I would die that very day. That’s why I wanted to laugh when the doctor tried to give me an injection, examined my stomach, and then prescribed some medicine: “Give him this twice a day for a week.” I didn’t blame him—this calm, warm-handed man; he just didn’t understand me, and no doctor understands that people only die when they’re truly exhausted. Someone might grow tired at eighteen, and another at seventy. I was tired. But I wasn’t sad. My bookshelf was in front of me, though I didn’t think about the fact that my fingers would no longer touch those books. I knew that other fingers would, and for books, it makes no difference. Books are a bit like gossipers—they reveal their secrets to anyone, so I knew that they’d share them with someone else, too. With sadness I only looked at the acacia tree rustling below my window and at the sky in the distance. I wished I could take with me, to that place beneath the ground, just a bit of that rustling and a sliver of sky. But I knew it was impossible.

“I’ll go grab some cigarettes,” I suddenly heard my older brother say, even though I knew he didn’t smoke. He was either heading out to send a telegram to our relatives or he simply didn’t want to see me pass. I understood and said goodbye with a glance, knowing we would never meet again in this world. He left. I asked my wife to take our child outside for some fresh air. “I’ll take him,” she replied, not realizing she’d never hear my voice again. I also said something to my mother, but she didn’t leave. This saddened me deeply, and I slowly closed my eyes. I don’t know how much time passed, only that I suddenly heard my mother’s gut-wrenching scream and knew I had already died. Through my closed eyelids, I saw everyone come rushing in, saw them carry my mother out—the first to sense my death, though the only one who hadn’t believed it was near.

After that, everything unfolded as it always does.

For two days, people gathered around me, and I saw many familiar faces I hadn’t seen in years. They cried or stood somber and silent, then left. Sometimes, those sounds or that silence wore me out, and I wanted to ask them to talk or be quiet. But there was such calm within me that I didn’t dare to open my eyes. With a strange sense of wonder I began to observe people—many of whom I thought I knew well. Not knowing I was watching, they felt no need to pretend. I recalled what I used to think of them when I was alive, and, truthfully, at times, I felt embarrassed by those old thoughts and judgments. But that wasn’t what preoccupied me the most; every day, I searched for the one who never came. I knew she couldn’t simply come and stand quietly by my side like the others. I knew that as soon as she entered, everyone would know. My heart ached with longing; I missed her deeply, even thought of asking my mother to call her, but I was too worn out to open my eyes. I was so tired, and for the first time, I could think of her in peace, knowing no one would interrupt—not with a phone call, nor a glance, nor love, nor hate. I thought of her even when they carried me down my street, the street where I’d grown up, loved, and grown weary.

The street was full of sunlight, but for the first time, I didn’t feel hot; instead, I wanted even more of the sun, bigger and warmer. I looked at my street: trams, cars, people stood with a kind of sadness that wore my heart out. I didn’t want to be the reason behind anyone’s sadness; thus, I didn’t feel bad at all when I saw a boy and girl under a tree, holding hands and smiling into each other’s eyes. At first, I thought they hadn’t noticed the procession, but then the girl looked directly at me and smiled again. The boy looked too, with kind and happy eyes. I wanted to smile back, maybe even wave, but I was too tired, and besides, if I lifted my hand, the flowers would fall.

Then we walked into the cemetery, and that’s when I saw her. I saw her and smiled—or rather, that smile had been there on my face the whole time because I’d been thinking of her in my final moments. For two days, through my closed eyelids, I saw that no one understood that smile; some even looked at it strangely and confused. But at the graveside, she understood; I even saw her smile back at me. Then her figure was obscured from my view by my relatives, my loved ones, and I remembered our last night together…

We were walking through the darkness. Only in darkness could we love each other freely in the open world, which is why we despised not just electric lights but even the stars when they shone too brightly. We were walking through the dark, and she wanted me to say that she was the one I loved most in the world. I was silent, perhaps already sensing that I was too tired of keeping that sentence unsaid, one I longed to cry out through all the speakers of the world. I was tired—tired of this darkness, of the lights, of everything—yet she waited. And later, under the ground, I deeply regretted that I hadn’t said those words meant only for her, belonging only to her, but it was already too late.

As I reminisced about our last night together, they started to lower me into the ground. I caught a final glimpse of her between my relatives' feet and heard her gaze. "Should I come with you?" she asked. "Should I?" That’s how I used to hear her voice through the receiver back then. In that final moment, I realized that if I just nodded, she would come, but she was only twenty-one, so I replied, "Stay." She heard my gaze, heard silently, just as she always had. Soon, she was obscured from view, and I realized I was already beneath the ground. After that, I heard the familiar sounds of stones and soil. And then, nothing more; only the thick fragrance of flowers lingered, frozen between me and the earth, then, thinking of her, I grew numb: I tried to recall the date and the day, but could only keep track of the calendar for a week or two.

Thus, days turned into months, and perhaps years went by. And I remember the words I never said to her, to the world, which is why I began to murmur this belated confession from beneath the earth. I began to exist through those unsaid words. Each day, I tried to remember how long our love lasted. A few... months? days? years?…

One day, I looked up and saw the sky once more; they had torn down our cemetery and replaced it with a garden of grasses and flowers. I had become a flower. I looked around in excitement, eager to find her and give her the words that were meant for her, belonged only to her... But she was not there; all around me were unfamiliar flowers that I did not recognize. I realized I must have been beneath the earth for perhaps an entire century, and she, too, might now be a flower, a blade of grass, or a handful of grain—who knows where in all the fields of the world... I was ready to search the globe for her, but I was just a flower, and I died as soon as I tried to lift my feet from the soil. I died for the last time. When I once more turned into soil, only then did I understand why flowers die so soon: all flowers might once have been people who rose from the earth in search of that someone, only to not find them and wither away, dying one last time. I realized that nothing in this world can be found twice, and I longed to cry out with all my floral voice, “Don’t let go, people, don’t lose what you have!”