#abusive parenting

[phoenixyfriend]

A recurring thought I have about neopets is that, all evidence given, they are not pets. They are children. They have human intelligence. The vast majority of work is done by other neopets who happen to be adults, since the fairies are usually too busy being bitchy at each other to, you know, do real work.

But we dress them up. We decide what they wear, and (most of) what they eat, and what they read, and what they train, and how they fight, and what toys they play with, and what their skin looks like, and are basically their lords and masters. If we get bored, we can just… put them in the pound.

Neopets users are really shitty teen parents who all ended up 'my child is an extension of myself.'

This is surely a thought people have had many times over the past twenty-plus years of virtual pet care, but I have been rolling it around in the brainflesh for a few months now.

Also I mentioned this in a server and @thelifestoryofkara brought up that an added complication is the whole "Neopets can and will eat other neopets." She was thinking blumaroo steaks, but I managed to ruin everyone's day a little by revealing that all Chocolate Kougra Paws come with the item description:

No need to worry - we declawed this paw before dipping it in [dark/white/mint/milk] chocolate.

[furiousgoldfish]

Neglected children will go 'At least I have freedom! Because nobody pays attention so I can do whatever I want!' and then go and use the 'freedom' to mainly endanger themselves

[chaos-in-one]

People who comment "gentle parenting at it's finest" on posts of kids having a meltdown in public and their parents not doing anything about it do not understand what gentle parenting means at all and it makes me want to put my head through a wall

[theconcealedweapon]

And this is why people stay in abusive relationships.

Abusers often use "you can't survive without me, therefore you must never question anything I do no matter how much it hurts you" as a defense of their abuse.

And because of parents like this, many people consider that normal.

[only1lorrie]

[iamthehamburglar]

[themuselesswriter]

Jeremiah be like:

Also Jeremiah back then:

[biblicallyangry]

Friendly reminder that you can always lie to your abusive parent figure 🤗 it’s always morally correct!!!!!

[muffinwalloper]

Abusive parenting, your guides

[i-may-be-paranoid]

hey so I just had a realization. maybe my mom taking out her phone to film me crying when we were having a fight and threatening to send the video to my instructors (who I looked up to a lot and didn't want to think badly of me)… wasn't normal? like I knew that was kind of fucked up but a lot of the shit she did fell into the "kinda fucked up but probably normal parent behavior" category in my mind

[nothingtherefornow]

Basically wanted to build on what the anon said of how the person downplayed abuse.

"Tomoe is very mild"

Reminder that this woman litteraly prohibited her child from all social communication, kept her away from all friends, was willing to take her daughter's freedom away from her because she "wasn't worthy"

And Gabriel was willing to separate his son from his girlfriend and neglect his emotions. Willing to control his sons every move and sell his image constantly in many forms.

Zoé never received care from either of her parents and only had one friend.

Don't get me started on Colt's abuse towards Felix

Basically, don't try to downplay abuse in favor of another.

I 100% agree with you. And You know what ? This person who downplayed the other characters's abusive situation in favor of Chloé's own abusive situation with her mother ? I'm gonna repeat everything you said here to them

[killerpancakeburger]

My mom: *finally divorcing my dad after a decade of verbal abuse and being drown into debts* I can't even bear to hear his voice anymore. He disgusts me. Once the divorce is done I'm never interacting with him ever again.

Me: *had to watch my mom being abused for years, got abused too, lived in terror of the debts for years ETC ETC* Yeah same

My mom: Oh my God HoW cOULD YOU say that!! He's your father!!! And he will always be! You can't cut him from your life like that!!

Me:

Me: *looks into the camera like in The Office*

[my-cages-were-mental]

i was at work the other day, and a couple of the teenagers i work with that are two years older than me were talking about how they hate getting sent home early. and the guy said that he doesn’t like it because then he just has to sit around and just wait until his scheduled end of shift time before he can go home. and girl asked why he doesn’t just go home because he has his own car he brings to work every day. and he was like “i don’t like going home early because then my parents get mad about it [going home early].” and the girl said she used to do the same because she too didn’t like going home early because her mom would get mad. and i honestly think that’s really sad because i too relate to the ‘not wanting to go home’ thing, but i do ususlly go home because my life is pretty busy so i usually use any time off i can.

but like, i have stayed for two whole hours helping my supervisor out after she asked me to clock out early (out labour is high) just because i didn’t want to go home. like i worked for free. and my supervisor and i get along well and so i felt safe and happy with just staying and helping her out. and thats happened more than once.

and not to say i don’t feel safe at home, but sometimes i just don’t want to go home. because my parents, especially my mom, recently, have been saying things like how i’m disrespectful and have changed and make things unenjoyable.

so anyways i just found it sad that others have also felt that way even a little.

[eandtheks1]

Child Protective Services (CPS)

This is a bit of an oldie but very interesting and I hope it will help another person. Several years ago my husband, John, at the time was removed from our home because he was abusive. (I will discuss this at another time (August of 2016?) As our divorce started he was regularly more neglectful and abusive towards our 3 children. At the time, I became ill with what they thought was a cancer mass…

[balestrem]

Weird thing: my father and I are becoming closer due to the rift my abusive mother has partially caused.

Eventually my father admits how terrible my mother can be but claims he cannot talk too badly about her because he is married to her. And it’s so funny to me how my father sees an obligation to his wife, but not to me as a father to protect me from abuse, ever since I was born. It’s like he forgot all about his commitment towards me because of the abuse my mother has inflicted upon him as well.

Realising how this bizarre dynamic has infiltrated and infected our family and messed it up so deeply is truly shocking.

[shouting-epicenities-at-you]

This is actually pretty on point. So many adults forget that they used to be children, or regret ever having been a child, or just utterly ignore natural human variation to the point that they don’t understand how anyone can have different preferences, interests, and other points of perspective than theirs.

And the worst part is, the vast majority of parents are encouraged to force children to do things a certain way even if the kids (or even the parents!) don’t want to or it isn’t truly in their best interest, and there’s such a dreadful taboo against criticizing how someone parents the children in their care that parents will usually never hear a word against their restrictive, controlling, even abusive behavior. And if they do, they will inevitably meet it with contempt, which they often take out on their children.

I don’t have children so take this with a grain of salt but I hate when you can tell people like the concept of their children more than their well-being. Parents like the concept of an all-beige nursery that’s photogenic more than they care about the development of their kid’s brain. They like the concept of a cutely dressed kid in designer clothes more than they care about their comfort and personal desires. They like the concept of a child who never eats poorly more than they care about the happiness that can come from a child eating some candy now and then. People need to stop treating their kids like little dolls