#absolutely picturing hunter with those vibes

[just-here-with-my-thoughts]

@ninjadeathblade PabuDad!Hunter right here

One thing I do want to have happen on Pabu is that Hunter suddenly goes full fucking domestic. Yes he was a clone sergeant in special forces and has a half face tattoo of a skull but now he is a STAY AT HOME DAD and he has opinions on CURTAINS and is GOING TO THE FARMERS MARKET. You can't fucking stop him. He's going to learn to cook.

Echo gets a visit from Tech, Crosshair, AND Wrecker and it turns out that they're here in this potential war zone to escape Hunter's cooking projects because he's very much not good at it yet. Omega tried to hide in the cargo hold but if they took her with them Hunter would DEFINITELY follow so. Sorry kid.

Back home Omega is eating a possibly toxic souffle and plotting revenge.

[lowkeyrobin]

hello

First of all I love your stories like Trevor Spengler is so goooood!

I was wondering I was scrolling through your posts and saw jaeden Martell as an actor one shot?

I was wondering if you could possibly do a headcannon what it would be like dating him please?

Like a sfw version and a NSFW version please

Absolutely no pressure.

And if you don't do that sort of thing I understand lol

Have a miraculous day lovely and keep up the good work ✌️😄

yeah of course!! and thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them! ; also I did see your other thing about apologizing for the NSFW, and you're totally fine, no biggie! I wanted to put this here too bc idk if u saw me reply to it before I deleted it ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

JAEDEN MARTELL ; dating shenanigans

summary ; dating stuff with jaeden

warnings ; language

word count ; 564

masterlist

literally a picture perfect duo

one because he's jaeden martell and two because you look so good together

both of your Instagram pages are filled with pictures of each other

honestly, yall don't have any haters, you worked on a few movies together, so people have been shipping you for YEARSSSS

every once in a while you scroll through tiktok and find a few handfuls of edits of you and jaeden + your characters

they're the cutest thing ever

you always like, repost and favorite them

it's so funny going back and seeing the ops reaction lmao

sometimes you do some cutesy photoshoots together cause like, why not?

always indulging into each other's interests

you two religiously go on picnic dates

always going on roadtrips to go see something new

you find all sorts of new little restaurants and places to go on Facebook (thank your parents for that one... it's an awful place but it's good for finding new things)

you guys met on the set of IT

it was so awkward at first with everyone meeting each other and whatnot

but after a day or two it was like you'd all known each other since forever

you quickly formed a special bond with jaeden, like just bonding over a lot of the same things and your feelings

people were shipping your characters but the interviews post it2017 and it2019 releases 😭 got the fans all over you two

you had a minor role in defending jacob but the edits of your characters went hard

same thing with metal lords, like 😭

you had about the same size role as hunter so pretty much a main character but your character barely talked to his outside of with hunter 😭

those editors were struggling but feeding

he was the first to confess, surprisingly

it was like a bit before he got the role for jacob barber

he took you out for coffee and a long walk through a park and stuff

thing like hozier vibes if that makes sense

bro became a poet talking to you like that

he couldn't look at you because he was embarrassed the whole time but you were staring at him while walking. like a mix of shock and happiness

you found a tree stump to place your coffee cup (he'd already finished his) placed it down, and just kissed him

cause wtf did he think was gonna happen? speaking all romantic like that like you wouldn't kiss him...

he's not a big pda person, maybe a 4/10

will happily hold your hand or give you small pecks on the cheek/hand/lips but nothing else

he's not jealous at all either so there's no reason for his pda level to just go from 2-10 at all

on the topic of jealousy, it's very rare for him to be jealous of you

he trusts you and it's not something he really worries about when it comes to other people

you're not that jealous over him either, yall got that healthy mutual trust

and finally, some songs that kind of sum up your little relationship 🙏❤️

cloudbusting ; kate bush

crush culture ; conan gray

bourgeoisieses ; conan gray

empire now ; hozier

wildflower and barely ; hozier & allison russell

too sweet ; hozier

lost it to trying paper towns mix ; son lux

thinking bout love ; wild rivers & wrabel

[perotovar]

hey sweeties!! kel and i put a list together of all the submissions we got for our event and split them into two masterlists of fics for you all to read and enjoy! this is my part of the list, so if you don't see yours give @beskarandblasters 's list >here< a look and see if that's where your fic/submission ended up!

we can't thank you enough for submitting and helping us give a voice to the smaller writers of the fandom ♥ oh, and for any multi chapter fics/series, we only read the first chapters to make it fair!

please make sure to read each fic's warnings carefully and happy reading! ♥

@iamskyereads - Compulsion (Ezra x ofc!Beatrice)

i can't even begin to describe how much i love this fic already. it's so smart and the worldbuilding?? incredible!! it feels like a sequel to the film, or like it could easily take place in the same universe. just brilliant. and ezra's voice is so clear here, i could hear him saying every word. and the oc, beatrice, is fascinating already, i can't wait to see where it goes!

@all-the-way-down-here - This Is Why We Fight (Dieter x nb!oc!Bell)

i love the start of this. both dieter and bell have excellent characterization and the conversations being had by every character feel so real and are so important. bell's group of friends all sound like friends i would have, and i would love to hang out with them. i love the direction this is going!

@linzels-blog - Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie x f!reader)

ahh what a delightful little fic! it feels very much like an early 2000s rom com and i mean that in the best way! very cute and i love the vibes. everyone's characterization is great and i can't wait to sink my teeth into the rest of it!

@elvenmother - Context and Perspective (Marcus M x f!reader)

completely obsessed with this concept. i love a good enemies to lovers and this is such an awesome way to do it! i always see marcus m fics featuring someone without superpowers, but to have a character that's just as powerful as him? sign me up!

@kedsandtubesocks - In the Dead of the Night (Din x f!reader)

one of my absolute favorite din fics. the worldbuilding and din's creature form is incredible. i love a horror au that's flipped on its head. i also love the "creature is also the hunter" trope and this does that incredibly well. the atmosphere is off the charts.

@ghostofaboy - Rock Bottom (Frankie x original male characters)

god, i don't even know where to begin with this story. it's so raw and visceral and i can't say enough how much i enjoy it. i love reading something new and especially if it's coming from a male perspective. this is, unfortunately, something i could see frankie getting up to. frankie is such a deeply tragic character and this fic does that justice in a dark, but really intriguing way.

@ishabull - The Way We Were Drawn (Marcus P x f!reader)

ohh this is such a sweet fic. i love the imagery painted and the dynamic between marcus and reader is so sweet!

@secretelephanttattoo - Headshots (Marcus P x f!reader)

this fic is beyond sweet and so dreamy. the ideal scenario for anyone, in my humble opinion. who wouldn't want to take pictures of handsome fbi agents and then fall in love with said agent?

@lesbianhotch - you walk by and i fall to pieces (Frankie x f!reader)

THIS WAS THE CUTEST DAMN THING. i love me a nervous frankie (hello, have you read my fic lmao) and this was by far one of the cutest. i'm obsessed with reader's confidence and i just know those two are gonna be menaces once they're together. throw in some patsy cline and i am a goner. this is going on the reread list for sure.

@insomniamamma - Remain Nameless (Ezra & Cee w/ gn!reader)

ok, this one actually made me cry. i'm not sure if it's my own sleep-deprived ass that caused it but this is probably one of the most beautiful but sad fics i've read in a long time. i mean all of this in the best way because i don't normally get emotional from fics. prospect as a movie makes me emotional, though, so it doesn't surprise me that this did as well. it's such an incredible missing scene that i can, unfortunately, see absolutely happening. have some tissues nearby.

@sweetercalypso - Unlikely Friends (Joel x gn!reader)

this fic is one of my absolute favorite fics for joel. a big reason for that is i have a cat named tilly. and imagining joel reluctantly and grumpily cuddling with my tilly makes me emotional, ok??

@softstarlite - The Casualty of Love (Javi P x f!reader)

very cute! i love the awkward tension around not seeing someone for so long and there being a huge glow up maturity-wise from one of them! seeing someone in a new light is always a strange thing and i love the start to these two and their journey!

@julesonrecord - Shots (Jack x f!reader/oc)

probably one of the best post-movie fics i've ever read for jack. the way jack's trauma and therapy is handled is so fucking brilliant and tonic is one of the best fucking characters, god. eva is written so well and i just. i can't recommend this fic enough. if you like jack, hell even if you don't, give this fic a shot. i promise you'll come out of it liking it.

@coulsons-fullmetal-cellist - The Audition (Dieter x f!reader)

goddd this was so cute! dieter's insecurities don't come up very often and i absolutely love what a match he and reader make. she's so sweet with him and takes such good care of him. and he loves her so much and i love them ok

@max--phillips - A Little Lipstick Never Hurts (Max P x f!reader)

this is one of the best explorations into kink that i've ever read. it's so respectful and hot as fuck. completely obsessed with this take on max as a character and i can't get enough of the dynamic between him, reader, (and eventually dieter). it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but i highly encourage you to give it a try. max gets some well deserved lessons taught, and who doesn't love that?

@coastielaceispunk - The Gift of Lingerie (Max L x f!reader)

god, this was so fucking hot. i'm so here for a mentally healed maxwell in a healthy marriage with a fulfilling sex life lol the little bit of teasing on both their parts was beyond sexy and i loved how equal everything felt. ugh, will be rereading this one for sure.

@lotrefcp - Hidden Away (Javi P x f!reader)

i'm obsessed with a no nonsense reader with just as much attitude/sass as javi does lol i just kept reading going GET HIS ASS. an excellent start to a universe i'm excited to sink my teeth into!

@beefrobeefcal - On the Waterfront (Frankie x f!reader)

oh, this is dark. i love the vibes immediately. i've had a weird fascination with the mafia for most of my life and this has that air about it. a dark, chubby mob boss!frankie is right up my alley for sure. i love that he's still frankie tho. sensible, practical, but with an edge. mind the warnings.

@flightlessangelwings - La Estrella de Mi Vida (Javi G x f!reader)

ahhh so romantic and so tragic!! i swear, it's impossible to make javi unappealing but this fic is just so sweet and manages to make me love him even more (somehow). but i love the added drama and tension from outside forces!! i need to read the rest of it asap!

@littlemisspascal - Rockford & Roan (Tim x f!reader)

my god, i love this?? i'm not usually one for superpowers/soulmate au's but i'm in love with the practicality of this? it feels otherworldly without being too much and it's very grounded. i love the reader and the way tim is written is so believable. i love that we as a fandom have created such a visceral image of this character from only a minute's worth of footage!

@something-tofightfor & @the-blind-assassin-12 - Aphelion (Oberyn x Ellaria & f!reader)

goddd the imagery painted in this one. so heartbreaking. absolutely breathtaking. i'm a slut for vampires and i'm a slut for oberyn/ellaria. this is absolutely something i will be reading the rest of lol

@bluestar22x - The Rockford Files (Tim x f!reader)

ok this is insanely good. one of my favorite books of all time is "red dragon" by thomas harris and i felt like i was reading that again while i read this. the details of the case and the cadence of everything was top notch. obsessed with the psychic element thrown in there and i'm beyond excited to see where tim and psy end up next!

bonus:

@sweetenerobert - Fiction vs Reality (Tommy Miller x m!reader)

ohhhh my god. you give me a bisexual tattoo artist tommy miller with stretched ears and i'm supposed to be normal about it??? UNLIKELY. i am extremely tempted to edit this into reality ngl but my god. this was so fucking hot lmao

[phantom088]

Just a light hearted rant

In other words, things in Danny Phantom that make absolutely no sense.

First off is the on button to the portal being on the inside the portal.

Who's idea was that?Jack, Maddie, I'm looking at you.

Like seriously, Jack and Maddie gave up because the portal didn't work when they plugged it in. In reality they just didn't hit the on button, which was inside the damn portal! How does that even work?

In order to turn that thing on, someone would have to sacrifice their life to push the button...and would you look at that, Danny walked right into that and now he's half dead. Skill issue I guess, but still.

At least it seems Jack and Maddie fixed the issue as in later episodes its shown that there's a on and off button on the outside of the portal, either that or they built 2 sets of buttons in the first place which then makes me wonder why they didn't hit the on button they had on the outside when they plugged the portal in.

The next thing is questioning how Danny got the thermos working.

Yeah, it seems like he transferred some ghostly energy into it as pictured here:

But the show doesn't actually conform that or tell us how Danny got the thermos working. He basically asked the thermos to work and it went "No worries fam, I got you." And it worked.

No explanation, just a "it works now...yay!" Kind of vibe.

My third thing skips quite a few episodes, even a full season and that is the existence of Danielle or Dani.

Here are the questions that come to mind.

How is Dani a female when she is supposed to be a clone of a male? Yes I've heard the trans theory, or maybe to make her stable Vlad had to mess with the XY chromosomes, or even Vlad added some female DNA into her for some reason (probably to make her stable). But non of those ideas completely follow up.

Why is she 12? In cloning cases, the clone doesn't end up a set age, when someone is cloned, their clone starts as a fetus/baby. It should have taken Dani 12 years to you know, become a 12 year old kid. So unless Vlad decided to start cloning Danny when he was 2, I don't see why Dani is 12.

How is she even stable in the first place? Yes, the other clones Vlad made weren't very stable, but it still makes no sense that Dani is stable because cloning is a very delicate process. Usually a clone of someone doesn't end up healthy like Dani, there always has to be some birth defect, and in real life most clones don't even live that long, and that's 2024 talking. Mind you, Danny Phantom was made in the early 2000s, cloning technology probably wasn't as advance then, meaning Dani isn't even supposed to be alive.

Fourth and final thing, and that's the asteroid.

Just the fact that the asteroid is made of a material called ecto-ranium says it all. This material was never mentioned before Phantom Planet, meaning it was made up on the spot, rushed per-se just like how the final episode was rushed!

Even worse is the fact Vlad managed to send the fucking thing hurtling at earth, and the best idea that wveryone could come up with was send two middle aged man to space in a rocket ship, one being half ghost and the other being a inconfidant ghost hunter, both dumped on bad terms, and hoping for the best.

Who would have saw Vlad not being able to make the asteroid intangible coming? Who would have thought his plan failed, and Jack ended up leaving him out in space. What a shocker.

Then instead of building a laser or something that would destroy the asteroid everyone decided to put their trust on a teenage ghost to fix everything. Sure he was successful, making it so the asteroid could phase through the whole ass planet even though it's made of a material ghosts can't manipulate (meaning it should be obvious a ghost can't phase through the asteroid or get objects such as a whole planet to phase through it as well but to each your own).

Let's just hope the moon or sun or any other planet weren't in it's path when it passed through earth.

And don't even get me started on the crappy relationship we all know Danny and Sam are gonna have. It was rushed, and frankly knowing Sam is someone who wants things to go her way, and Danny is someone who's too stubborn to follow that, the relationship isn't going to last.

Also, why were Sam and Tucker being such assholes to Danny through the whole episode until he restored his powers. Like bro, he got rid of his powers to specifically protect you two, why be asses to him?

And that ends my rant lol.

[28dayslater]

good evening to you all and welcome to cockmojo where tonight we will be counting down my personal top ten terror cocks

those unaffiliated with footyblr may be unfamiliar with the term cock as it’s being used here: all will become clear in time

special mention before we start to the netsilik hunter (sexy man, deserved a name and some screentime) james clark ross but only in the first episode when he’s all rugged and his beard’s grown out, and mr blanky, who, much like knife dad, fuccs like a broken train but he runs on time if you know what i mean

in a very respectable tenth place finish, billy gibson. i didn’t see the vision until 1. it was pointed out to me that he looks a lot like pau torres, who is himself very cockable, and 2. i rewatched the scene where he breaks up with hickey. known shagger, massive hater, a very pointy nose, he’s scraped a place on this list.

a surprise entry at ninth is john irving. inarguably cute in a sort of late 2000s british indie band bassist way, and while i’m not sure i could fix him (he probably needs a man for that) i do think i would have fun trying. ultimately he’s not higher because he’s kind of annoying and his eyebrows piss me off.

representing the dilves at eighth is doctor macdonald. he’s entrancing to me he has this vibe of like gentle paternal indulgence... like even if you were annoying he’d be very fond of you. and i need that. when he said “i’d like to run that man through” and rubbed his eyes and looked so tired, i really felt something. the crow’s feet, the widow’s peak, the hair, yes!!

doing it for the feminists, in seventh we have harry goodsir. the loveliest guy on the expedition until he goes nastymode, and i’m fully on board with both versions. this picture was chosen for a reason and it’s bc his long curly hair full beard miserable expression era was simply unbeatable. unfortunately, and this is maybe the most insane thing i’ve ever said about a man, or at least top ten, when his half eaten corpse was laid out face down, and it had noticeable back hair, i got the ick. just to add insult to injury :/

i’m as surprised as you are that he’s not higher, number six, james fitzjames! he is my pretty pretty princess. nails, hair, hips, heels. high femme queen in his cunty little outfits ordering the men around. i want to brush his hair, one hundred strokes minimum. i think this is less sexual than some others on this list, it’s more appreciation. but my god do i appreciate him.

stay alive, number five, it’s thomas jopson. most beautiful haunted doll in the arctic, but that pretty face is covering up a seriously compelling #WeirdGuy underneath. all the shiny hair in the world can’t hide an obsession with his boss that in the modern era would be getting him a very serious meeting with HR. what a character, servicetopson you rock my world. but at the end of the day he loses points because i hate the beard. garrigan looks great with a beard in other stuff, i really don’t know why the scurvybeard was so foul. terror hair and makeup department GET IT TOGETHER. 

number phwoar, henry collins is here! he’s big he’s sweet he’s deeply mentally unstable he needs a cuddle and we’ve all seen that gif of him in aliens. would love to make him a really nice cup of tea (seems like a two sugars man), pet his hair as he rests his head in my lap, then fuck up my hip flexors. 

and now... we enter our top three. who’s made it to the prestigious cock podium?

first up, the winner of our bronze cock medal, which presumably he’ll be flogging for an unreasonable price to someone he’s assured it’s solid gold, “cornelius hickey”! people will bitch and moan about how he’s a violent lunatic who’s killed people like i’m not a cuti romero stan 🙄 i can see beyond that, my third eye is firmly open. the potential for a fun toxic relationship is absolutely off the charts bc that’s the only kind he has. and he’s very pretty when he cries. i can forgive a lot of crimes for a man whose nose entrances me.

in second place, such a close runner up, i have to award this honour to edward little. a pedestrian choice, you might think, if you don’t know the lore. i couldn’t fully explain my feelings towards this secondary character who’s not especially exciting on first watch when i started the show until i googled his actor... although i lacked the words to express this at the time i was cocking this man when i was 13 and he first appeared in misfits with a stupid neck tattoo and a horrible suit, and i cock him again now. this is a cock that’s followed me all my life, even though i forgot he existed for about a decade in between. who else can truly say they’ve EARNED a spot on my list like he has? he’s sad, he’s sopping wet, i could make him cry extremely easily. mwah

and finally...

number one. it had to be him, it was always going to be him. solomon tozer, take a bow and i’ll take ten cranberry pills. sol is thee top cock for so many reasons and chief among them is versatility. whatever you need he can be it. handsome soldier boy in a fancy red uniform that shows off his trim little waist? COCK! hostile violent mutineer throwing his life away in a rebellion? COCK! broken man inducted into a cult who cries about it? COCK!!! sexiest man in the damn arctic i know he was beating the boys off with a stick. there is a certain level of sexiness a man can reach where nothing he does is an ick, and i knew he’d reached that for me once i saw him in that insanely stupid hat at sir john’s funeral and didn’t give a fuck. call him tom jones the way he can leave his hat on. keep thotting it up in heaven/hell king i miss you every day. i know it was huge. my heart hurts.

[safarigirlsp]

🌭🍔🥑 for the fic asks! Love ya!!

This was such a fun couple days thanks to you @babbushka ! We need to keep this up! It’s beyond wonderful to have you back! 💗💗💗

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

Ok this is the most fun question! We should just have a weird and random HC day lol!

Flip loves vintage advertising. Those old sporting calendars you used to see in hardware stores and sporting goods stores that have nostalgic paintings or action scenes from the old west with cowboys and gunfighters and hunters and mountain men. They're his primary decor in his cabin. Walking through that heavy wooden door, you could just as well be stepping back one hundred years, especially since it's far enough from town that no lights shine at night and there are no sounds other than those made by the forest and wildlife.

Flip loves dive bars. He can take you out dancing or wine and dine you somewhere swanky, and he does often. But there's something about the gritty familiarity of a dive bar - the neon lights, the bad taxidermy, the sticky floor, the smell of greasy food, whiskey, and smoke, Johnny Cash playing on the jukebox - that really gets him riled up and hot under the collar.

Friday nights after he gets off, he asks you to meet up with him and the guys for some greasy food and a beer. Work weighs heavily on his shoulders and he takes it seriously. His usual approach to stress is to sweat it out with a vigorous workout. Weights, running, or punching a heavy bag are best. A vigorous fuck works too. He tries to get his heart racing with one method in the morning and the other in the evening. But he takes Friday nights to unwind in more traditional ways, out someplace with friends and his girl. In a dive bar, he can be boisterous and crude, laugh loud and tell raunchy jokes with Ron, make you sit on his thigh and shamelessly grab your ass, kiss your neck and growl absolute filth in your ear. For his money, it beats the hell out of going someplace he actually has to behave and act civilized.

Challenging you to a game of pool is a favorite go-to. He usually throws the game just to watch you gloat. And more importantly, to watch you bend over the pool table and stretch out prettily to make a shot. It makes his blood run hot, makes him hard in his jeans, when he looks down your shirt or eyes your ass like a dirty old man. He loves that you're all his to eye all he wants. You know this, of course, and naturally play it up a little extra for his enjoyment. When you draw attention from other men in the bar, you know that too, but it's just so much fun to see Flip puff out his chest a little and glare at your fan club. Once or maybe twice according to Flip's count, this has culminated in a bar fight with you icing his bruised knuckles and kissing his bloody lip late into the night. But you should see the other guys. According to a more accurate and unbiased count - yours - this happens almost annually. It's a nice treat to look forward to once a year or so. And the fireworks he gives you afterwards are a helluva lot better than the Fourth of July.

🌭Do you have any writing rituals to help 'get in the zone'?

I really like watching movies with the vibes I’m going for while I’m writing or having them play in the background. I've currently exhausted my Victorian watchlist while I've been working on my current fic. I also like to read similar things too but that's obviously more time consuming. I recently discovered a fun series you might like with campy Victorian antics by Evie Dunmore.

When I'm a little stuck or need to picture something better, something physical helps my brain function a little. Lifting weights works for me and although I truly hate cardio, it helps to get my thoughts churning. Probably because I'm so bored and miserable, but I'll take what I can get xD.

Then there's always good ol' maladaptive daydreaming.

Omg all the edits that have been coming around the last couple years have really helped keep me rabid. Especially during these content dry spells when there's no new movies on the horizon to look forward to.

I love making aestheics/moodboards for myself and I have a ton that have never seen the light of day because they're just for me or to scratch an itch. It's extra fun because it satisfies both an artsy urge and helps stay in the zone for fics. But sometimes they also derail me with a new idea and I deviate to write a fic for the moodboard xD

These are some of my favorites that don't go with a posted fic. I may have a problem!

This is my recent desktop backgrounds:

🥑What are you currently working on?

I have one big fic that I'm currently focused on. Which is really the biggest challenge for me, just staying focused on any one thing OMG. But I'm right at the finish line for this one, then I have to chose which idea to focus primarily on next. I'm trying really hard to get some bigger projects done just because they have a chance of potentially being serious writing. And frankly because the engagement is down here, but if that changes, I'm more than happy to change with it and get rabid again. Even these HCs today are such a fun little burst of creativity!

Wargrave Hall

Victorian haunted house and occult story with romance of course. I have about 1/3 of this posted now publicly but its gotten too big to update my fic post now, which really pisses me off actually xD. I'm very near the end and it's just under 100k now, so it will probably finish somewhere around 110K and then I'll post it all. I'm having a lot of fun with it and it's much better than I thought it'd be when I started it. In my humble, biased opinion anyway.

Annees Folles

Roaring Twenties adventure story with a love triangle and plenty of romance and treasure hunting. This is hovering around 150k now and has never been published, although I've sent it to my friends here who have shown interest. I'd be happy to send it to anyone who's consistently supported my insanity. It's definitely my favorite thing I've written so far and has everything I love. After I finish the Victorian fic, my goal is to get this one finished too so I have two big quality fics in the bank, then start a new project. I'm probably 7/10 done with this one, so it will be a big one when completed.

I might be obsessed with the aesthetic...

[shoesterrs]

VDL Gang but Animals

I know this has been done countless times, but here's my version! Some have a cool explanation and some are just,,, silly :)

Dutch Van Der Linde: Black Panther

I think it's fairly widely accepted. He gives off the vibes of a big cat, hard to remember they're wild animals and not just big lovable kitties.

Hosea Matthews: Corsac Fox

This one was oddly tough. It was pretty easy to make him a fox, but I had a lot of other ideas. I do think he looks A LOT like a corsac fox, and acts a lot like a fox in general, clever and cunning.

Arthur Morgan: Stag

What'd you expect? This is just perfect for him, no other questions are being taken, thank you.

John Marston: Golden Eagle

That picture is so. So so John Marston. It looks just like him dude. I see a lot of people say he's a wolf, and I get that, but BIRD OF PREY. Wolves are more often seen as very territorial and constantly with their pack. I see John Marston more as a loner, especially with the lonely vibes in RDR1. And going from weird little looking baby to BIG MAJESTIC BIRDDD. I don't know I'm a big bird fan. He hunts down his old friends in RDR1 and that is very bird of prey of him. And the bird symbolism? OAGH freedom and independence but also strength and courage. And they mate for life 😀

Javier Escuella: Coati

Very out of field uhh. Okay. So in all sorts of different cultures, coati can represent change and protection, but also greed and gluttony. They're often depicted as protectors or crafty and mischievous creatures. Javier is very protective and loyal of his family, and despite trying not to, he's changed a lot throughout the years. Coati. End quote.

Bill Williamson: Javelina

Hii he's a silly little javelina, blind and stupid but also so so horrifying. Big family protectors, travel alone or in packs, and this picture spoke to me. I LOVE JAVELINAS!!

Micah Bell: Gila Monster

The largest venomous lizard in the US (I think), these badass lizards hunt down their prey by locking them in their jaws and biting down, slowly injecting venom. MICAHHH - Dutch is his prey, or fucking ANYONE and GOD iusghfja

Charles Smith: American Bison

Sweetheats <3 ofc he's an American Bison. Chonky boys, very connected to Native American culture. Hella protective but so so chill. And silly.

Sean Macguire: No fucking idea maybe a woodpecker

Lil assholes who like to swoop at me for some reason these ableist birds. Anyways. They got those strong head muscles. Perfect for him. Love to cause noise. Bird vision. Yep

Lenny Summers: Otter!

sweethearts with an evil mind <3 They often symbolize curiosity and playfulness. Young hearts. :( gonna make myself cry

Sadie Adler: Cougar

Often thought loners, but value their social family and friends. Purrs doesn't roar REAL Sadie's fierce as hell and a fantastic bounty hunter BAM cougar

Karen Jones: Secretary Bird

she looks like a secretary bird finished. My sister gave me this idea and I LOVE IT. "execute snakes by stamping on them" JUST USING 'EXECUTING' IS KAREN ENOUGH. QUEEN.

Tilly: Black-Footed Ferret

I want to put her in macaroni.

Mary-Beth: Barn Owl

Freakin NERD. I don't like this one very much, think she's more of a cat maybe?? But neither a cat or a barn owl fits her personality. Going more with what is represents, owls representing ya know nerds and magic and all that. And I guess barn owls are real good at being sneaky and Mary-Beth is a good pickpocketer :)

Uncle: Raccoon

Weird, gluttonous, and trash animals? Uncle. But for real, raccoons might not look threatening but they can put up a FIGHT. Reminds me a lot of Uncle.

Abigail Marston ;): Red Shouldered Hawk

Very protective, gets PISSED. Abigail probably would kill like a bird of prey for her family. Love her. Love hawks. Also really wanted to make the Marston family BIRDS OF PREY heh

Jack Marston: Brown Falcon

Silly little guy, but still a predator. Hunts down Edgar Ross. Absolutely a bird of prey.

Miss Grimshaw: Emu

Miss. Grimshaw would single-handedly win a war against Australians. Therefore, emu. Cannot fly but has personality for years.

Simon Pearson: Turkey

Very American, balding, and they represent giving and food of course. I wanted to make him a sea related animal, like maybe a Manatee or a Walrus?? But I REALLY like turkey.

Leopold Strauss: Weasel

Evil fucker, that one weasel from Zootopia yes I just referenced that, also I want to toss him in macaroni.

Josiah Trelawny: Raven

Very clever, often represent magic. "Spiritual messengers". Also found that they represent "divine timing" which is funny as hell to me and very Trelawny. I play a silly DnD thing where I DM and roleplay as the entire freaking Van Der Linde gang and I made Trelawny just kind of show up at the simultaneously the worse and best times.

Reverend Swanson: RED SPOTTED TOAD!!!

MY FAVORITE CHARADCTER!!! and i gave him a toad :) BUT i like toads! Especially this silly guy <3 They represent transformation (very Swanson look at him go) and are often attached to witchcraft which I think is fucking hilarious for a reverend. These guys spend the day in rock crevices and come out during the night - they can survive 40% body water loss. Good for the morphine and alcohol :D

Kieran Duffy: Ring Tailed Cat

Look at those big eyes and tell me that's not Kieran. They get hit by cars all the time and that's soooo Kieran Duffy of them. They're super shy and timid but also hella adventurous to the point of stupidity. I've only ever seen one in the wild in my life and it very aggressively yelled at me. Wherever you are, sorry little dude.

Last but not least, Molly O' Shea: Bleeding Heart Dove

Another one my sister recommended. OH the symbolism, I could write a whole essay, it HURTS. Doves are obviously very common symbols for freedom and love. The plumage looks like a gunshot through the chest. HELLO!?!? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!??! It's a bleeding heart. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. They're freaking gorgeous majestic creatures, a symbol of resilience and beauty in the Philippines

And that's it?? I think. Would love to hear y'alls thoughts!

[walkawaytall]

bring back the turkey, you cowards

Weird thing none of you know about me: from about 2015(?) until about 2019 or so, I had a very specific and weird obsession: Lisa Frank's social media presence (and, to a lesser degree, Lisa Frank's collaboration deals clearly made in an attempt at making a comeback).

Now, I will go ahead and correct a commonly held misconception amongst the people who followed me on Facebook at the time: I was not obsessed with Lisa Frank the person (as mysterious as she attempts to be, I think I have her mostly figured out), Lisa Frank the manufacturer of my favorite childhood school supplies, or even Lisa Frank the company as it stands today (though this Jezebel article, Inside the Rainbow Gulag: The Technicolor Rise and Fall of Lisa Frank, is wild and I think everyone should read it; it may not hold true today since they've had so much change and turnover, but it's still fascinating). My obsession was primarily focused on Lisa Frank's social media presence. And that's because Lisa Frank's social media presence was batshit insane.

Keep in mind, when I first started following them on social media, they were not banking on Millennial nostalgia. They were still primarily selling school supplies. The adult coloring book (not adult like smutty; adult like...those therapy coloring books that were so popular ten years ago?) sold by way of an exclusivity agreement with Dollar General hadn't been announced yet, nor had workout gear or the SpongeBob collab (sold only at HotTopic). As far as anyone knew, Lisa Frank was still that rainbow school supply company whose target audience is nine-year-old girls.

Which is why all of the housemade "memes" were absolutely bonkers.

This is peak Middle-Aged Mom Humor, so why is it being presented to me by the company making pencils and folders for elementary schoolers?

Glad to know we are encouraging fourth graders to day drink.

This one isn't actually aimed at any particular age group; I just find it funny that captains of pirate ships are inherently pirates, so I don't know what this is supposed to mean.

He won't. He will not fly. He is a flightless bird. This is a terrible lesson and you are a homicidal mother penguin. (Also using slightly altered lines from poems without attribution is theft, but whatever.)

And the image that started my obsession:

This...isn't a joke??? What is this???

I don't know who was behind these posts, but considering how small the company was at that point, I always suspected that Lisa herself was recycling old artwork with the help of an intern or something and creating the social media posts...because it just sort of seemed like that's what was happening? I have no proof of this; it was just a vibe I got.

But, during that period of time, even though the posts were inscrutable and sometime just straight-up Minion Humor, they were at least interesting.

Well, I mean, sometimes they were interesting because they were like acid to the eyes.

Okay, and sometimes they were interesting but also sported questionable messaging about one's relationship with food and exercise.

Anyway, I digress. In 2019, Lisa's son Forrest Green (yes, her sons are named Hunter and Forrest Green) took over the social media presence and it became...very palatable for the masses, I suppose. It was a lot of photo edits of old boy band pictures with Lisa Frank designs superimposed on tshirts -- it was very nostalgia-driven and very much directed at Millennials and thus I lost interest, because if there's anything I hate, it's being the target demographic for a sales pitch.

Anyway, my point is that for several years in a row, Lisa Frank would post the same holiday-themed images, so I got used to seeing a certain Thanksgiving design that is, and I cannot prepare you enough, one of the most chaotic and hideous things you'll ever lay your eyes on. But it was tradition. They posted it like three years in a row, and then as soon as Forrest took over, this design was never posted again. And all I have to say on this Thanksgiving week of 2023 is: bring back the turkey, you cowards.

[thousand-winters]

What do you think Hunters relationship would be like with the coven heads pre wad time skip?

If they still form a type of government after Belos’s reign then he might kind of have to acknowledge them, considering his dad(s?) work in the government.

So if he ever gets to sit in in Darius’s office for a bit maybe he sort of has to talk to them?

They could still treat him exactly like they could have back in the coven, but I doubt Darius or Eber would tolerate that.

They could be tolerating of him, maybe sympathetic. Occasionally offering him some random candy or something.

Or maybe they never talk again because they all end up in prison so yk

It really depends on the headcanon you go with when it comes to the Coven Heads. I think there could be certain leniency considering that Belos tricked them all, but even then the Coven Heads were very much the kind of people who relished being on top because they could abuse their power and remain privileged without having to worry about anybody else but themselves.

I feel like for those who really wanted to try, another chance would be granted, like Mason (I'm always a "Mason is the most decent one there other than the rebels believer"), since we saw Kiki was doing some kind of community service, and Steve reached out to other scouts. Immediately starting the new government by executing people and throwing them in jail forever and ever is probably not what they wanted after a ruler such as Belos.

Now, I think Terra, Vitimir and Adrian are beyond second chances lmao. Considering how they were stubbornly trying to take the throne and I always like taking that as the way the crew had of telling us they were trying to take over but of course, they would not be allowed. I think they would have a far harder time becoming actually decent members of society, it's what I'm saying.

In any case, I usually picture Darius, Raine and Eber participating in the government at firsts, reluctantly with a bunch of other high ranked people from the Emperor's Coven who handled the bureaucracy and other mundane aspects, since we do know it wasn't all just fighters, we have Flora after all. Since they have more plausible deniability than the Coven Heads, I think in the shaky times right after everything has gone down, they would have to settle for that before taking more steps to have something better.

But before I continue going in a tangent about that, to answer your question, I do think most of them would absolutely treat Hunter the same way, maybe worse. I can see some of the most "loyal" Coven Heads resenting him both for being a "traitor" and because he managed to get out before everything went down, Terra was pretty horrified realizing the truth about the Day of Unity after all. They aren't the most moral of people and blaming a kid who was just trying to survive seems pretty on brand for them.

Some others, like again, Mason, I can imagine would have incredibly awkward interactions with him if they ever cross paths again, because there would be an element of guilt, especially since for the Coven Heads it would end up being pretty obvious that Hunter never had a choice about the kind of life he led back then, and yet they don't know or owe each other anything, so they sort of would be going "good for you" seeing each other settling into better lives. I could imagine that kind of awkward nodding toward each other and then they pointedly avoid eye contact forever.

Though I really like the option of them going from awkward to more cordial and while they would never become close or anything of the sort, since Mason has kids, I like to think he has a soft spot for them, and especially as he comes to realize more and more that for all of his bravado and fancy title, Hunter is ALSO a kid, he would definitely start the occasionally offering him some candy treatment. He just has that "I'm a kindhearted dude" vibe.

As for the ones who would still try to at least be passive aggressive toward Hunter, blaming him for their lack of power now as if he ever had any choice in the matter and hadn't been another unfortunate victim of Belos, they wouldn't last too long doing that, because Darius and Eber would absolutely intervene, especially at the beginning because they could still get to Hunter's head and make him feel like it was his responsibility despite the fact he was quite literally an abused kid and completely powerless in those circumstances.

Darius and Eber would probably try the intimidation factor first, but if they continued or if they tried to actually hurt Hunter? They're not people to be messed with and they're very good fighters who are no longer in the difficult circumstances they were at the Day of Unity either, if they have to actually beat up people to protect their kid? They will because it's been enough of Hunter having to fight his "own" battles when those are grown adults picking on him.

[yourfavsinbg3]

YOUR FAVS IN BG3: Link and Zelda from ToTK!

Link, the half-elf folk hero Ranger, and Zelda, the half-elf noble Wizard.

Reasoning and builds under the cut!

These are specifically from Tears of the Kingdom/Breath of the Wild because there is so much variety in the Links and Zeldas of the series as a whole! I've also only played BotW and ToTK so I'm most familiar with these incarnations. I do plan to attempt making other incarnations, but I'd want to get more familiar with those games first before jumping in. (I do know that OoT Zelda would be a monk, for obvious reasons, but beyond that I don't know much.)

Both Link and Zelda are half elves here because I feel that fits the Hylian aesthetic the best.

LINK

First up: why is Link a ranger and not a fighter? I decided on ranger because of their focus on wilderness survival. Plus, they've got the "ranger knight" subclass which implies service to a noble house; in my mind, that fits Link being the Champion of Hyrule and Zelda's chosen protector. Ranger's limited spellcasting ability is also a nice nod to the runes and abilities he's able to use in both Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom.

His background being "folk hero" feels kind of self explanatory; he's one of the most famous warriors in all of Hyrule, even if no one recognizes him when they first meet him.

Link is a wood half elf, for that movement speed buff. Boy's gotta zip around all day, he's gotta be quick about it.

Build

Despite him being a ranger from the start, the best class to describe Link would be the Eldritch Knight fighter subclass. However, having played that subclass, it can feel kind of underwhelming. I believe a Ranger/Fighter multiclass allows for a similar vibe while being more effective in combat.

For level one stats, he has 16 strength, 16 dexterity, 14 constitution, 8 intelligence, 10 wisdom, and 10 charisma (all pictured below).

I've chosen for wisdom to be kind of a dump stat because he's the Hero of Courage, not the Hero of Wisdom. Man's is a little bit stupid and that's okay. Also, in my experience, the most useful ranger spells are either passive buffs (like Hunter's Mark), or damaging spells that rely on your attack roll to hit (like Ensnaring Strike).

Once Link levels up, he'll be taking an immediate level in fighter. It's important to get second wind and action surge as soon as possible, just because of how useful they are in combat. Also, it's a good analog for flurry rushes and going absolutely ham with the apples to heal during combat.

Beyond level 2, there are a couple different paths that make a ranger/fighter build good. These are just what I've personally experimented with, so if you wanna do something else, go nuts!

One is to go three levels ranger and nine levels fighter. This lets you pick up the "Hunter" subclass and the Horde Breaker ability, which is very good. (Honestly all the Hunter's Prey options are great, it really depends on personal preference.) Fighter subclasses are between Battle Master and Champion; either are fantastic, but I've found Battle Master to be a little overwhelming. If you just want to whack stuff, go with Champion. If you're okay with strategy, Battle Master fits with the "lore" of BotW/ToTK Link better.

Another option is to just do one or two levels of ranger, and slam the rest into fighter. If you do a 1 Ranger/11 Fighter split, you get access to 3 attacks per turn, which is very very nice. A 2 Ranger/10 Fighter split is pretty much the same, but this time you get two spells. Whoopie! These builds definitely offer more raw damage, but I personally don't see the point in having this small of a split. It kind of makes Ranger redundant, so I personally wouldn't go this route. If you're hungering for extra attacks, Hyena ears let you make haste potions, but Wizards can cast it as soon as they get access to level 3 spell slots. (The Darkfire Shortbow also lets you cast it on yourself once per long rest. You got options if you wanna get extra attacks and actions!)

The inverse of this (10 Ranger/2 Fighter) gives you access to action surge, second wind, and you get access to much more spells and more interesting class abilities. This is my personal favorite combination, because I'm a filthy ranger defender. Even so, I can recognize it needs the little extra oomph fighter can offer.

ZELDA

Zelda was actually a lot harder to decide on a starting class for. She's definitely a spellcaster, and an argument can be made that she's a divine spellcaster and therefore should be a Knowledge domain cleric. (Also, her holding the Triforce of Wisdom? That's cleric shit if I've ever heard it.) I can also see an argument for her being a sorcerer, as her powers come from being a reincarnation of the Goddess Hylia.

If there was a divine soul sorcerer class in BG3, it'd be that, hands down. However, there's not, so I personally discount sorcerer as an option here. (Would love to see a Zelda build using this in pen and paper, though.)

(ToTK Spoilers in this paragraph) There's also a very convincing argument that it'd be most fitting to make her a dragon soul sorcerer, because gestures at ToTK. However, I don't think it fits beyond that, though the comparison makes me laugh. Figured I'd mention it for that reason alone.

I ended up with Wizard because most of her work, in both ToTk and BoTW, is scholarly in nature. Zelda is most driven by knowledge and her desire to do better by her people, as opposed to devotion to a god.

Build

Zelda's level one stats are 8 strength, 8 dexterity, 12 constitution, 16 intelligence, 16 wisdom, and 14 charisma (as pictured below). Her starting spells are Mage Armor, Shield, Protection from Good and Evil, Sleep, Magic Missile, and Feather Fall. Her cantrips are Mage Hand, Blade Ward, and Friends. As a high half elf, I gave her the Light cantrip as another nod to her divine power manifesting. (All in the picture below, but it might be hard to see.)

In terms of leveling up, I think an argument can be made that a cleric multiclass might not be a bad idea. However, builds like that are Multi Attribute Dependent (MAD), so they can be a bit difficult to level properly to feel effective. I've never personally experimented with it, and have been advised by friends who are better at this game to avoid MAD builds. I just think it'd be neat, which is why I mention it as an option.

Overall, Zelda has a pretty simple level up scheme: level up into Divination Wizard, get her hands on as many scrolls as possible, and keep learning spells till she drops. Wizards are a versatile and powerful class already, so while multiclassing is tempting, I personally avoid it here.

There is, however, a very very compelling argument for getting three levels in sorcerer, subclass of your choice. Using sorcerery points to get more spell slots, quickened spell and twinned spell... All extremely fun things to play around with. Plus, I love Wild Magic dearly. I don't think this multiclass fits Zelda very well, but it's such a good combo that I had to mention it.

[tragcdysewn]

here is my combo event plotting/starter call! like for me to dm you and if you want a starter, make sure to specify who for and from! (also i definitely owe like three starters so those are on here too)

abigail mckinnon - marlene mckinnon

abi is pretty into this, she does genuinely enjoy winter and likes shopping and exploring, so girl is having a blast with this whole thing. come ice skate with her she will try not to pull you down but i can not promise anything

ahsoka tano

is neutral, considering her whole family is falling apart. she may lurk for a bit but she probably won’t be spending a ton of time there when she has bigger issues to deal with.

allana solo - sella palpatine

allana is having a great time, spending time with their girlfriend and ignoring her problems by throwing themselves into various activities? a blast. will absolutely try the polar plunge to see if she can manage it

alphonse elric

al has never been to something like this, and will be dragging ed to hang out with him and try all the snacks and shit, man is having a great time and wants to try everything

ariana dumbledore

had said last year that she was going to be an annoying mom around the holidays this year, and she was absolutely telling the truth let her be a cringey pinterest mom who’s taking photos of everything thank you

bela dimitrescu - rachel green

hell no. absolutely not, no way bela is going anywhere near any of this, it is cold and she does not fuck with that shit

bellatrix black - narcissa malfoy

eh, might drop in for a bit but she isn’t going to come to really do anything. this is stupid muggle shit

cassie lang

she’ll probably walk around a little bit, but she isn’t a super super big fan of the cold so catch her hiding with hot chocolate and a very thick pair of gloves by the bonfire

davina claire - hope mikaelson

davina grew up loving festivals and markets and all of that, so she’s honestly thrilled about all of this and will be dragging her friends to everything she can. she’s a huge fan of art and music, so she’ll be at the nutcracker and the live shows 

elphaba thropp

it is highly unlikely elphaba is going to this, considering the one thing that usually makes her go is glinda and rn she doesn’t actually remember her beyond her weirdly perky rooommate so she’s at most passing through to grab some last minute gifts

feng xin - xie lian, lyra belacqua

will definitely be going and trying stuff out. he doesn’t know what christmas is about, exactly, but he’s always down for new experiences and there’s competitions, which feng xin absolutely adores and loves so watch out

feyre archeron

will be taking nyx and trying to get omega to come as well to get her mind off what happened to hunter a few months ago, also is running a charity art stand, but she’s not going to be there much, she’s got volunteers actually handling the stand itself

hallie parker - jester lavorre

is going, will be recording everything that happens and dragging random strangers to do fun stuff with her and challenge them to races just for vibes

howl jenkins pendragon - sophie hatter

they absolutely took morgan out of school for the day to have some fun, so he’ll be doing anything a small child would enjoy and being an absolute Dad

james potter

he’s got to do some christmas shopping because i know he left it to the last possible minute so if you’re his friend and you see him buying stuff no you don’t

james witherdale - bree tanner

he’s chilling honestly. not a huge fan, but he’ll find some enjoyment in it after a while. may have to snack on someone though, a guy’s gotta eat and unfortunately he can not consume anything sold

jin zixuan

another one who doesn’t really celebrate this holiday, but he thinks everything looks nice and he’s sure his friends are going, so why not, right?

korra

she’s going to take a picture with sexy santa, because why not, it’ll be funny as all hell. she also definitely has to christmas shop, so that’s getting done asap. also will be throwing snowballs even outside the actual competition when they inevitably get kicked out for water bending

lan wangji - wei wuxian

he’ll be going solely because he’s positive most of the people he cares about will be there, and it’s an easy place to find them and talk now that i have unfortunately made him aware

lumine

lumine has been here long enough to start understanding the customs of this world, so she gets the basic idea of the holidays, and she thinks it’s cute, so she’ll be participating and probably going with some friends

lyanna stark

she loves the winter holidays, even if they aren’t the ones she celebrated back in westeros. she will be making the stark-targaryens decorate and do gifts and all that, so she needs to get them all gifts and get them into the holiday spirit

marinette dupain-cheng

will be running a bakery stall, but will also try ice skating and all of that when she takes breaks, so come have some fun with her

mj jones - gwen blake

mj actually will be spending a ton of time ice skating, she genuinely loves it and will have a blast, and then probably sit by the bonfire and make some s’mores. could also be convinced to hop in a carriage or join the snowball fight

mo ran - antonia dreykov, sha hualing, milton greasley

i went back and forth on if he would go or not, but i decided that since he’s from the second timeline AND unaware, he’d probably go check it out, flirt with strangers, fling snowballs are strangers, etc

mobei-jun

man is THRIVING catch him living in the ice bar it is way too warm for him in dc he will be living it up in the freezing cold

nie mingjue

he doesn’t get what’s so important, but apparently people are supposed to give gifts and he unfortunately has a brother who will whine forever if he doesn’t participate so he’s gonna try

renesmee cullen - alice cullen, kaiden monsula, omega archeron

nessie has about twenty family members she needs to buy gifts for, and they have bought gifts for about zero of them, they are in crunch time rn

rose weasley - roxanne weasley, victorie weasley, albus potter

she definitely enjoys the holidays, and she’s a bit competitive, so sled races and snowball fights, the wotters will be dragged into any game she can find

sheev palpatine - anakin skywalker

he’s not going. literally not a chance unless one of the siblings really wants him to go for some reason

shen qingqiu

he’s going both because any and all modern traditions are a fun little nostalgic thing for him, and also he’s sure binghe will enjoy it and qinghua will want a gift so here he is

shi wudu

i doubt he even knows what’s going on, he may walk through out of curiosity and see what’s up but that’s really it

thanatos

they may go for a bit just to see what’s happening, but they aren’t super preoccupied with mortal traditions, so he’s just probably going to observe more than participate

wanda maximoff - daisy johnson

i don’t know if she’d go unless billy or steve really wanted her to, the whole thing with tommy and vision is way more her priority 

wen qing - jo wilson

they're definitely still getting used to stuff in this world, but she’s nothing if not eager to try new things, so she’ll be giving pretty much everything a shot

xiao lanhua - sam giddings

she's absolutely loving this, and wants to try everything she can. girl will be making gingerbread houses, going on a carriage ride, probably falling on her ass attempting to ice skate, and being as excited as a five year old the entire time

yor forger

yor is in full mom mode, doing holiday prep and figuring out gifts for her family, also making sure anya has fun. she could probably be convinced to join in some games and contests, though it’s not her priority. don’t let her throw snowballs i’m begging you the woman once threw a tennis ball so hard it broke the sound barrier and shattered the other persons racket

[dunkeydonuts]

THE WOLF HUNTER

Deep in the breezes of the night and the sparkling of the bonfire, flew a mysterious vibe of calmness but anxiousness.

“I am gonna get them, I AM ABSOLUTELY GONNA KILL THOSE SUCKERS! “

These were the words that clouded the mind of the hunter as he was crouching down beside the bush, inside a small hole in the ground. He had a spear in his hand. Of course, you would think where the gun at if he really wanted to kill someone, especially with those killer pupils he had. But as he himself proclaims – killing with a gun instantly does the job, he wanted to do it slow so he can see the eyes of the one he was killing fill with fear and pain. It was not long that he started to hear the footsteps of the two souls approach the fire he had set up.

“Look at these fools, always curious to check the light but never to think about what lurks within the darkness beside them … pathetic … “

(Now let’s see what is inside the minds of those two lovers, always those two cute buddies)

Lily was too excited to see what the whole setup of the bonfire, the seat carefully made as if this was the last seat ever to be made, and a box beside it, was. All she could think of about that box was that either it could have food in it or that whoever’s box this is, wants to find something to put inside. What is it, no idea at all.

“Hey sweetie, I think this is just a wolf trying to chill with some chocolates in that box.”

Oliver said with a laugh and he immediately looked at Lily. He wanted to see her reaction. He knew she was tense as they both were approaching the scene, so seeing her smile or even giggle would set his heart awhirl.

“Wow, I mean honestly … the spot is pretty, no wonder he is waiting for his girl. “

Lily said with a giggle, soo pure that it might have looked like it was faked, but no. After all this time, Oliver could instantly figure out whether her laugh was intentional or not.

“I love your jokes … and “, Oliver before he could continue, is given a soft kiss by Lily. His heart immediately racing. Every time he is kissed, it felt like it was the first time. Lily eyes locked into his cheek always made him blush. Lily loved seeing that and immediately after kissing him said,

“Mister wolf, may I have some chocolates please please?”, She said with both her index fingers making that sign (You know which one)

“Sweetie wants some?” Oliver said with his eyes locked into hers, to which she nodded while giggling. He walked towards the box and leaned to open it.

“Here I come to slit this throat with style … “, The hunter whispered as his heart raced with excitement and nervousness, about to commit love murder. Just as Oliver managed to unclip the box, the hunter jumped out with such speed that Lily mistook him for a wolf.

“WHAT THE … “Lily yelped as the hunter grabbed Olivers neck and pushed his face into the box with one hand and the other holding his spear, ready for action.

“SHUT UP! ONE MORE VOICE AND THIS CHOCOLATE DEEALER IS … YOU KNOW FOOLS!”

Lily’s heart was pounding to another universe, not death. She quickly reacted to grab a stone beside her but stayed there to avoid her lover AKA chocolate dealer you know.

“I mean why kill me, I am sorry I won’t open this box, let us go and we won’t … “, Oliver said with a broken voice as his neck was being pressed.

“Give me the necklace, and I am sure you will be able to get one or two chocolates not from this box umm … but most importantly, stay alive.”

“I don’t have it nor does she, let her go you can take me “, Oliver said this with bravery but he was still fearing that Lily and he had just spent their last night together. His thoughts were becoming scarier until the hunter put down the spear, still holding Olivers neck and took out a picture from his pocket of a necklace.

“Looks familiar yeah?” the hunter said with a deep voice that made Lily get goosebumps.

“Of course not, never seen a necklace soo big and shiny and … no I don’t have it”

“What … he said this is where you’ll find it.”, The hunter whispered in anguish as he let go of Oliver, who started coughing and Lily rushed to her lover, rubbing his cheek and pulling him towards her. She wanted to run, but at the same time, they both were curious about that necklace this man was talking about.

The hunter sat down on his chair, holding his spear again and examining it in despair.

“Relax, I ain’t killing you fools.“, he said as Oliver and Lily were trembling in fear. It is most probably two in the morning. If this is not a dream, then what is it.

Lily looked at Oliver and gave him a slap.

“Why did you say take me, look at you ... and then look at me …” Oliver hugged her before she could complete and while looking at the hunter said, “Umm what is this all about?”

“I am sure you don’t have what I seek, but you sure are help to find what I seek. Darkness … “

A joke came into Lily’s head. She thought he was being sarcastic about the night darkness and that the bonfire is what he needs but this was no time for jokes. She sat down with Oliver beside her on the ground and waited for a response from the mysterious man.

“I must warn you … the one who starts this journey won’t come back before its done.” The hunter said with an element of sadness in his voice.

What journey is the question. No doubt these nights for Oliver and Lily have been all about finding answers to unexpected questions.

[katyspersonal]

Hey! I appreciate this post and agree in general, but I want to add a couple of things here:

1) It is not very fair to claim that it is exclusively "male gaze" problem! People of ANY gender or sexuality can be bad at drawing athletic body type like Malenia's or Maria's, or simply too used to drawing women in a certain way! It is not always a problem of sexualising or being attracted only to a certain type. Like.. I dunno, would not be outlandish to imagine a straight woman or a gay man draw female characters like this and get defensive when asked to 'git gud'. In other words, addressing the problem of quite literal skill issue is just as important, which you did to, but even when you talked about refusal to improve as an artist you included sexualising as an explanation! Like, the right point IS in your post, but instantly redirected, which takes responsibility for bad portrayals off everyone but those guys!

2) It is also not fair to say characters like Maria or Malenia are "for lesbians". They are for people of ANY gender or sexuality that can appreciate them the way they are! Again, I don't believe you've intended this, but since you've put this post in the main tags rather than just vent in your blog it is a subject of criticism! This sort of gives away the vibe like you're saying "only non-men attracted to women can have good opinions on women", when I guarantee you that there are plenty of cis or trans men of any sexuality, nonbinary people that are not attracted to women, straight women and asexuals of any gender that absolutely agree that erasing this body type from drawing is annoying at least, misogynistic at worst! Heck- there WILL be lesbians that prefer "hyperfeminine" body type and WILL change female characters to their preference, too! There should not be dichotomy of 'lesbians vs nasty porn addicted men', when the real dichotomy here is 'people that appreciate these characters vs people with skill issue' as many identities are included on each side!

3) Maria is definitely flat-chested (or at least had top surgery, it boils down to one's headcanons)

( x ) Even more likely so because if you look at female Hunter, the clothing does have breasts visible, so it is not that Maria's clothing simply flattens them on the impact:

However, she CAN be slim!

Her clothes are rather thick and she has like three layers of them, and with that in consideration picture the torso underneath even more slim! I say it makes sense as she has Pthumerian genes, who are notoriously very tall and slim, lanky even. They're built like Messmer when they are not Basically Round like Merciless Watchers. There are only two extremes, nothing in between XD

The Doll might be an additional evidence for Maria's body as she appears to not be depicted in a corset, and is a replica of Maria in everything but her hunter outfit! (she is also flat, which is an important thing to notice because Doll is also a victim of tig biddy depictions often..) She however has Maria's boots, her large brooch and her ribbon (sewn into Doll's hat now)! Doll is intended to be a grief ornament, so it makes sense that her face AND body perfectly repeat Maria's. She matches her proportions, her height and has exact same face, so why not the waist too?

^ I'd think that the disconnect comes from using Maria's concept art as a reference, which is okay to do as a headcanon, but it did NOT make it in the final portrayal of this character in the game so it is not an obligation! There is another type of Maria's fanart that I lovingly like to call "fridge Maria" where she is deliberately made more wide and buff which hardly even feels like a tribute to concept art version and more like.. well.. you guessed it, "fixing" it to one's own preference...... At times I see people that do draw "fridge Maria" being very passive-aggressive towards those that draw her slim, even if the artist did NOT give her huge tits, which is also a problem! TLDR slim Maria is accurate, as long as she doesn't have visible breasts!

why (from the point of view of a lesbian) drawing lady Maria overly feminin is a bit more of a bigger deal than it may seem

I’ve seen people say that it isn’t that big of a deal if many artist want to draw lady Maria with huge naturals and a thin ass waist when in actuality she’s built like a door. I was a bit conflicted with that point at the start because yes, of course you can draw whatever you want. But the act of reducing women to the ideals that porn and mass media find attractive in women is still a huge problem.

for one thing, when I see people draw Maria and even Melania like curvey anime girls I can already tell they don’t really care about the character or lore, they just want to sexualize the character because they are women. The excuse often is “well I’m not good at drawing any other body type” which is a lazy excuse in my opinion. Just don’t draw them. That’s like drawing a big women like fucking twiggy and saying “it’s just my style I can’t help it, I don’t know how to draw big girls!”. Pick up a book and start learning bud. But these rules apply to a plethora of other characters and aren’t specific to more masculine souls borne women.

What really irks me about this is the idea that more masculine or androgynous women are seen as less beautiful or less as women, and in Maria’s case often leads to them being changed in art to be more “attractive”. This is of course from the “male gaze” and while you are allowed to have a preference for women, there are thousands of other characters for your consumption that fit your little porn addict needs.

to all the people who want to change lady to be more slim thick with fat tits on the side, she wasn’t fucking made for you. What you have been fed all your life to beleive what is beutiful is Fake. Why can’t you move yourself to find her attractive the way she is? To be less feminine is not to be less beutiful and if you can’t fucking see that than you need to understand that character isn’t for you. Go watch some hazbin Hotel or genshin, some world of war craft, or GTA or tomb raider. These games and media are full of conventually attractive women made just for your digestion! Maybe even play some dark souls 1 and lust over gwynevere! Leave the women who are not up to your standards alone. They were not made for you. They were made for us lesbians :]

ok ty have a great day

[screwtheprinceimtakingthehorse]

major spoilers under the cut!

Tl;dr: Ingrid and Z OTP

I knew from the moment Ingrid quit Parsons (and Murphy didn't leave with her) that she and Murphy couldn't work out — the entire time that she's been doing dodgy shit, i.e. violating her own moral code (remember that letter to Sears?), Murphy was telling her she was doing the right thing. To make partner. Their shared, singular goal, only it turns out Murphy is willing to go even further to achieve it — he betrays her, and while Ingrid before had the luxury of telling herself she didn't have a choice, he knows he does.

I know exactly when he sold Ingrid out: after they heard about Hunter. He had no reason to before, he and Ingrid were the dream team next to Dan (ugh), but then that fell apart. And he told her, he fucking told her: he's not going back.

He sure kept that gloating well under his hat.

Anyway, back to my point: Murphy represents Ingrid's flaws, he was the perfect foil to her ruthless pursuit of partner. He stood right at the beginning of it, with their wedding fling, and now six years later he's here for the end, whispering into her ear all the while that she's doing nothing wrong even as she's screwing people over and hates herself for doing it. What she told him about how she knew she wanted to be a lawyer? The death knell for their relationship. You don't go into Mergers & Acquisitions to right wrongs, or for justice. You go because that's where the money is.

So when Murphy wasn't upset about the dawn raid, when he told her he loved her instead? He saw that as absolution for what he'd done to her, because it marked Ingrid out as the same kind of person even as she's now on Green Tech's side: acting behind her partner's back to pull a stunt. She's on the side of the good guys now, sure, but that only matters to us, the audience. Not to Murphy. He only sees her ambition. And while he had her, he kept her busy with one hand so she wouldn't see what the other hand was doing.

And the entire time, there were subtle vibes between Ingrid and Z, but it wasn't just for the lols. He is someone who acts in alignment with his moral code, and who's actually honest about who he is and what he wants; the polar opposite of Murphy. Ingrid and Z back each other up without expecting anything in return in the finale. And here's the thing I love about Z: he represents optimism, not idealism as opposed to reality; and what Murphy calls realism, what Marty fucking Adler calls "thinking like a partner," that's just stone-cold ruthlessness and cruelty.

So hell, what I want for season 2 is for Ingrid to kick Murphy to the curb — though of course they're still going to have to work together, and that will turn out wonderfully acrimonious — and for Ingrid and Z to make good on those vibes and oh so achingly slowly fall in love. Nick moved too fast, Murphy made his move immediately when Nick was out of the picture, and Z is going to be the one who understands taking his time — and giving Ingrid time. Because, shit, this is gonna hurt.

In conclusion: Team Ingrid x Z, all the way.

[lollytea]

Omg Lolly the first 6 minutes were uploaded in better quality by someone and include a few extra seconds where all new outfits except Luz's are on screen (presumably this shot comes after the intro montage but was cut before it for some reason?!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8ovrHvJQg4

I have a hunch you'll like Willow's new look :D

Head full!!!! Thoughts many!!!!!

(Okay there's been another leak situation today but we're not gonna talk about all that here. I'm not sure if that quick second after the montage counts but I think it's alright to show since its not spoilery and we all kinda knew what the new outfits would be anyway. But just to be safe I'll put it under the cut.)

Willow flowy cardigan real!!! Its so pretty!!!! Thank god that shirt is a yellow rather than orange, that's so much nicer. I was iffy about the look before but now that I think about, she's really giving off autumn-vibes with this colour palette. Fitting. I think my least favourite part is the little leaf on her shirt (Willow has been playing animal crossing :D!!) is navy. Its throwing me off for some reason. But that's not a huge thing. Overall girl is DRESSIN. Love you Willow.

She's a shutterbug now!! That's adorable!!! Love the idea of Willow using photography as an outlet. Snapping shots of her friends and the palismen to express how much she loves them and pinning them by her bedside. Taking pics of human realm plants and wildlife and sunsets and rain and whatever else she finds beautiful and saving them to show her dads when she gets home.

Also...I have a strong feeling this is gonna be plot relevant...Willow's gonna snap a pic and there's gonna be something Weird in the background, I know it.

(Also we got those drawings they did of their families in high def and I just...she wrote "We're fine, Willow!" next to her dads. I wanna cry. Little Miss "not if I never look down" strikes again.)

ANYWAY there's other stuff to talk about here.

Unsurprisingly Amity looks FANTASTIC!! I love her outfit so SO much. She's such a fashion queen. Gus too oh my god!!! I love his jacket and his bracelets and he's wearing the little amplifier thingie as an earring!!! We love him!!!!

GOOD AFTERNOON TO HUNTER'S PANTS. This outfit was shown in the concept art for the panel and it mentioned that he sewed the patches into the knees himself. Sewing Hunter real. This puts the image in my head of Camila buying some extra clothes for the kids and she gets Hunter some ripped jeans cuz she's like "I'm pretty sure that's what teens are into right now." And Hunter grits a smile about it but he fucking hates them ("why the FUCK would they sell pre-ripped pants??") and takes it upon himself to fix the issue.

I love that Vee is here and helping in the portal process. I knew she'd be present this season but I didn't expect her to have such an active role in the kids efforts to get back home. But of course she's helping!! It's been months and they've bonded!!! Those are her friends!!!

It's so cute how the kids have clearly personalised the old shack to make into their own little hangout spot. The plants, the fairy lights, the pictures, the mirror the corkboard, the cooler, the attempts at wallpaper, the beanbag, even a fucking BASKETBALL HOOP. This is their place. It's absolutely for very serious portal constructing and plotting but they've clearly had a lot of fun over the months here.

Little bed for the palismen 🥺

Also...Flapjack keeps pecking at the floorboards. He was doing it in the montage too. There Is Something Under There and It Belongs To Caleb.

Anyway one shot. Yet so much to say. I love them all so much.

[mangofetts]

star wars filthy headcanons

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

din djarin

HUGE breeding kink. this man loves to fill you to the brim. every mandalorian learns from a young age about the resol’nare and he wants to fulfill his duty as best he can. on the subject of this, he cums a lot, like an unhealthy amount. this comes from the mando race in general.

big bondage fan. loves to use the binders on you or tie you up with rope. he uses the magnetic binders so he can pin your hands above you and keep them there without him constantly making sure they’re there. also helps him relax and make sure that you don’t make any moves to take off his helmet while he’s not paying attention (not that you would, but he likes to make sure). he also likes pinning you with his body. loves gagging you as well.

cum play. since his load is big, it doesn’t stay in you for long so he likes to go back in with his fingers and plug your cunt so no more comes out. he loves facials and/or cumming on your chest, belly, and thighs. something about that just drives him crazy, seeing you marked with him. he also scoops the cum up and feeds it to you or even rubs it into your skin like it’s oil for a massage (he’ll clean you up real good if he does that don’t worry ;))

gun play. he likes when you’re helpless under him with his blaster to your forehead as he tells you to not move or make any noise. there have beens times where he fucks you on his blaster and makes you suck all your juices off of it. HE ALWAYS MAKES SURE THE CHAMBER IS EMPTY AND THE SAFETY IS ON BEFORE HE DOES THIS. he does not want to hurt you unless you want it and he would never shoot you.

control and authority kink. he likes to have control over you. likes to pull your strings and make you do whatever he says. even better if you’re a brat, he’ll just have to be rougher with you.

a dom/sub relationship, with you being the sub most of the time. you guys use a lot of bdsm elements. you don’t call him any names in bed unless he wants you to. it’s either mando or din.

cockwarming!! he likes to make sure that his cum stays inside of you and he likes the feeling of you around him.

praise kink both ways. he likes to praise you for taking him so well, for listening to him. and he likes to be praised because he wants to know what he’s doing is good. he’s been deprived of praise since he was little (the mandalorians are proud of him, just never showed it) so he needs it when he’s with you.

paz vizsla

once again, huge breeding kink for the same reasons as din. he also just loves kids and would like to have his own clan instead of looking after other foundlings. he also cums an inhuman amount.

DADDY KINK. he loves being your daddy in bed, especially when you’re nice and desperate for him. this also has to do with the breeding kink, just all around big daddy vibes.

body worship. people are often afraid of him and he blames it on how big he is. sometimes he needs someone to tell him he’s not frightening. he loves doing to same for you, complimenting you endlessly if you need some pick-me-ups or if he’s just in the mood (which is literally all the time.

cockwarming. after filling you up, he likes to clean you up, and then put his soft cock back inside of you so his cum stays inside of you. will usually end up in morning sex.

praise kink. he LOVES being praised by you. telling him that he’s so good, that he’s absolutely beautiful, and that he’s strong makes him PREEN. he tries to return the favor by praising you, but he stammers and stutters it out because he’s not used to saying stuff like that out loud.

size kink. this man is 6’3”, almost 6’6” with his armor on. he loves smaller people because they’re tiny and fragile and he could just crush them in the palm of his hand. he is THICK. 100% GRASS FED BEEF MY GUY. big tiddies, big arms, big guy in general. he is very blessed under the belt, his cock is inhumanly big. he likes to hold you down and make you take it. likes to watch you take it too. if you want to drive him crazy, make it look like you are absolutely struggling to take him; any form of that will make him keen. tell him that his cock is too big for you, that’s he’s so big and that he’s going to split you in half. he will break you and you won’t be able to walk for days.

definitely a voyeur. he likes watching you pleasure yourself. he also likes being watched, even more than you’d think.

likes when you play hard to get. like he’s a predator and your his pray. alas you won’t run very far, his legs are longer than yours, but it’s what he does that makes it worth it.

boba fett

control kink, this is pretty obvious. notorious bounty hunter. he likes having complete control over you. this leads into his bondage kink.

bondage, also likes using the binders on you, no rope though, just the binders. he likes to watch you struggles and they make pretty bruises on your wrists and ankles.

likes to mark you up, make sure everyone knows that you’re his. he doesn’t want to lose his baby now does he? bites and bruises all over your body from his mouth, hands, and sometimes his boots if you’re into that.

spanking as well, he likes to make sure that you stay in your place. he doesn’t like a brat; he knows how to tame one though!!

gunplay FOR THE WIN. likes to hold the gun to your head while he fucks you, sometimes puts it in your mouth. he likes to fuck you with it and make you suck the barrel of it off. LIKE I SAID BEFORE HE MAKES SURE THAT THE CHAMBER IS EMPTY AND THAT THE SAFETY IS ONE. also likes using vibroblades on you too.

likes to slap and pull your hair.

HE CANNOT BE GENTLE AT THE BEGINNING OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. you have to sit him down and explain/convince him to take some scenes slow. once he gets the hang of it he likes slow sex. likes to revel in the pleasure.

definitely likes to tease. he likes seeing you desperate. loves keeping you wrapped around his finger.

darth maul

breeding kink, he wants you to get pregnant SO BAD. he really wants kids of his own. he LOVES coming in you and plugging your cunt with a toy.

cockwarming. something about having his cock in you relaxes him immensely. he likes having you in his lap while he works and you sleep (or squirm).

likes to sub AND dom. he likes being fucked and fucking. ruling mandalore is hard and sometimes he needs to give someone else control. usually the scene is you fucking him with your cock, or you fucking him with your hole. either way is a great time for him.

likes to hurt you, but only if you like it. most of it is lightsaber play and knife play. he likes watching you scream and writhe under him. one time he used the saber to carve his initials on your thigh. another way he likes to hurt you is digging his sharp horns into your inner thigh while he’s eating you out. he likes watching you flinch away from him.

praise kink. he is not what people picture when they think of a handsome man. so whenever you praise him is a nice time for him.

MASTER KINK. he likes being called this, it’s like he has an apprentice even though palpatine told him he was incapable of having one.

likes collars and harnesses. he likes letting people know that you’re his. plus your chest looks amazing in those harnessses.

DIRTY TALK AND PET NAMES. this man is one smooth motherfucker. he’ll call you princess/prince, baby, kitten, darling, sweetheart. he will whisper dirty things to you, just to get you riled up.

kylo ren/ben solo

the biggest dom AND sub you will ever see. he likes being fucked and fucking.

pain kink, if he’s subbing, he likes when you pull his hair, cut him with his pocket knife, burn him with his own lightsaber, or even you stepping on his dick. not too hard, you don’t want to damage his goods, but hard enough for it to be slightly painful. the thrill of it all makes him blow his load HARD. if he has any open wounds he likes to press on them so more blood comes out + it’s painful. scenes like these usually end with a short trip to the medbay. if he’s domming he will not hurt you, not even superficially. most of the pain comes from him pulling your hair and pushing you to your knees harshly.

praise kink. after everything that’s happened, he definitely wants some soft loving sometimes. he likes giving and receiving praise!! although it takes him a bit to get the words out since he never says those things out loud anywhere else.

also kind of has a master kink, but prefers to hear his name over that.

he takes almost all of his stress out in your sessions so he’s nice a pliable after a good fuck or two.

aftercare is HIGH TIER. he has a nice bed, you like to stretch out on it while he gets you a glass of water and a warm wet towel to clean you up. usually some back rubs as well.

he loves being degraded. being told that his dick is too small, or that he’s a slut, or even that he’s nothing gets him going like nothing else. any insults you throw at him will be met with a groan or a keen if it’s especially mean.

can absolutely go more than one round. his stamina IS CRAZY.

these are off of the top of my head lol