#absolutely not sorry for the softest content ever

[lisired]

wish i never

pairing: Jaehyun x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brother’s worst enemy, forbidden love, mark’s dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death

summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.

word count: 27.2k (listen… i don’t know anymore okay)

a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause i’ve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!

“Absolutely not.”

“Dude, come on,” Mark whined. 

“Hell the fuck no,” Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. “The last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.”

“And?”

“You texted him from your own phone,” Yuta deadpanned. 

You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldn’t think of a word to even explain it.

Mark gestured over to you. “But you gave her drugs.”

Yuta grimaced. “First of all, don’t say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.”

You added, “Plus I’m not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.”

Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it would’ve helped his case. 

Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, “Why don’t you just chug Jeno’s notorious punch and call it a night? That’s what I’m gonna do.” 

“I’ve actually got plans with a chick who’s been dying to chug my notorious punch. I’ll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,” Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said. 

You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. “Aye, aye, captain,” you chirped, saluting him. 

After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.

Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.

You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have it…," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.

Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you weren’t sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. “What up, baby? Long time no see.”

“Ricky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.”

More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother. 

And yet he took that retort in stride. “Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry? It was a mistake and I’ll never make it again.”

“You’re absolutely right,” you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. “You’re a sorry motherfucker and you’ll never make it again, because we’re done for good.”

But Ricky just couldn’t take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, “Don’t you know you’re nothing without me? Nothing!”

Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm. 

Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found. 

You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, “Do we have a problem over here?”

It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brother’s worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didn’t ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyun’s name made your brother tense. 

It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, “Who the fuck are you?”

“The host’s cousin,” Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. “And you are?”

“The love of her life.”

You didn’t know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldn’t be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came. 

Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."

Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.

Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didn’t hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with. 

Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he would’ve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable. 

“Insufferable prick,” you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. “Thanks, Jaehyun. I don’t know what he would’ve done if you weren’t here.”

Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s basic human decency.”

“And some people don’t even have that,” you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy. 

If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.

Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, “Hey, I didn’t know Jeno was your cousin.”

“Me, neither.”

It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasn’t what you were focused on. 

It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome. 

Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, don’t check him out. He’s your brother’s worst enemy. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think you’re getting laid tonight just because he’s playing nice.

“I should go,” you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.”

You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnny’s sister, but damn, you were kinda cute. 

At least for now, Jaehyun wouldn’t play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasn’t exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him. 

You were half tempted to stop by Jeno’s room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs. 

Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics. 

“There you are,” came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. “Taeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?”

“I’m fine,” you hollered over the music. “Just heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.”

Any other time, Johnny would’ve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. “Have you had anything?”

You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. “Just the beer in my hand, Johnny.”

He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. “Listen, I just wanna look out for you. You’re my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...”

“Mom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,” you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. “I get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“If you were a little girl, you wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t give you weed.”

That comment wasn’t even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it. 

“Why were you around Jaehyun anyways?” Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t making any advances. 

The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didn’t need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. “Ricky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.”

Johnny immediately perked up in anger. “What?”

“Relax. Jaehyun already took care of him. That’s why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I swear to god, I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind. 

“Ricky, or Jaehyun?”

“Does it matter?”

You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didn’t ask him months ago. Johnny might’ve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you. 

The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that could’ve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what would’ve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there. 

Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you weren’t going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.

You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous. 

Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they weren’t there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommates’ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what. 

You honestly couldn’t blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways. 

Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place. 

The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you weren’t too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open. 

You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature. 

And somebody else. 

“I thought that was you,” said somebody from your side. 

Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh. 

It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate. 

Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, “Are you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? “Actually, I’m surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.”

You snickered, crossing your arms. “You didn’t check the forecast before you left the house? It’s not gonna rain. Probably.”

Jaehyun furrowed a brow. “Probably?”

“That guy on the news is an infamous liar,” you grumbled under your breath. 

Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. “I told you why I’m here. What about you?”

Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyun’s scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. “Oh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.”

“Really?”

You bobbed your head. “Yeah. Why?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “Nothing,” was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, he’d potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you. 

You lifted a brow, but didn’t press. 

“Are you… okay?” Jaehyun reluctantly asked. 

You bobbed your head. “Yup, I’m alright. It’s just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.” 

Jaehyun winced. “Damn. That must suck.”

“I get he’s doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?”

Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

That caught your attention. “You do?”

Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I don’t have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. It’s sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when you’re on a date with a girl and your mom won’t stop calling you?”

Your lips couldn’t help but curl into a grin. “Aw, you’re a Momma’s boy.”

“This is exactly what I mean,” Jaehyun groaned. 

“No, it’s… cute,” you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. “Most of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.”

Jaehyun found that amusing. “You think I’m a sweetheart?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.”

“Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?”

“Know me better,” Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. “God, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.”

Jaehyun snickered with mischief. “Who said that he has to know?”

That response downright shocked you. You weren’t expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. “Ooh. You’re trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun took that in stride. “I’m guessing you like that.”

Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. “Hm, you know what they say.”

“I don’t think I do.” 

“It’s always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,” you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes. 

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.

Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. “I’ve gotta go. Later, Dimples.”

Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts. 

It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question. 

You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brother’s trust. You didn’t know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didn’t mention crushing.

But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun. 

You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really what’s it’s come to, huh?

Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. She’s his baby sister, you asshole. She’s off-limits. 

Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you. 

It wasn’t like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough. 

He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter. 

Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldn’t mind on this one. Plus sometimes you’d gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off. 

You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You weren’t counting, but he definitely was. 

“Your dick probably has so much chlamydia that it’ll mutate into a different variant like Covid,” Haechan teased. 

You grimaced, but you definitely agreed. 

“You’re one to talk,” Mark snapped. 

Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. “Of course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. I’m clean as a whistle.”

You shook your head in amusement. “I’ve never understood the saying ‘clean as a whistle.’ Like aren’t whistles actually contaminated from being in someone’s mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dick…”

Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friend’s expense. 

Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. “And what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?”

“Definitely not as often as you guys,” you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. “I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta tinkle.”

Mark’s nose wrinkled. “You didn’t think that was too much information?”

You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life. 

“If it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,” Yuta joked dryly. 

You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom. 

And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didn’t know where it was. 

You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. You’d only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldn’t fucking hold it. 

You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?

You set eyes on a random door and said, “Fuck it.” You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience. 

To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet. 

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. I’m guessing this isn’t it,” you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, baby.”

“Oh.” You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely weren’t yourself when you had to pee. 

Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. “You can use mine. It’s that door over there.”

“Thank you,” you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom. 

You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?

“You sure were in a hurry,” Jaehyun teased. 

You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyun’s room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. “No girls in here, I see.”

Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be offended by that or not. “What do you think I am, a pimp?”

You snickered. “Nah. I’m just traumatized. Sue me.”

Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. “You never answered my question the other day.”

“What question?” you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although you’d had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate. 

Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun. 

Johnny wasn’t around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that he’d step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didn’t want you to be there either, but you assured him that you’d steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun. 

And it wasn’t as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know where the bathroom was. 

“If you wanted to get to know me better.”

You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. “Jaehyun, you know my brother won’t approve.”

“I guess that’s a ‘no’ then,” Jaehyun muttered. 

Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyun’s, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared. 

His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.

The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses. 

Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?

You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didn’t complain, taking time to catch his breath. “Is that a maybe?”

You giggled and shook your head. “It’s a yes.”

Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didn’t care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity. 

Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, “We’re playing with fire.”

“Ironically, I thought the same thing,” Jaehyun deadpanned. 

You chuckled. Well, if you didn’t care, and he didn’t care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this. 

Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. “Have you been drinking?”

“Nope.”

“Did you do any drugs?”

“Not even a little,” you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brother’s incessant worry. “Why?”

Jaehyun said without hesitation, “Because I’ve got weed.”

That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommates’ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. “Geez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?”

Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends. 

The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyun’s whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuck’s sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.

The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyun’s side. He didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too. 

And it also only enhanced your curiosity. “Do you do this often, Jaehyun?”

“You mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?”

“Yeah.”

Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. “Eh, not really. I’ve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.”

You weren’t surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didn’t expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that you’d even believe it. 

“Maybe you haven’t met the right girl then,” you suggested coyly. 

Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe.”

It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. “What exactly are you looking for?”

Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because he’d thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy. 

But maybe it wasn’t all too simple. Jaehyun wasn’t searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didn’t draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on. 

Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. “Guess.”

You threw him a look. “Are you serious?”

Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. “I’ll tell you, but I want you to guess first.” 

You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. “Vinyls from the nineties. You’re an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.”

Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening. 

You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, “You want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.”

“You’re good at this,” Jaehyun muttered. 

“I’m nowhere close to being finished,” you said, grinning from ear to ear. “Judging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.”

Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this. 

“You’ve searched for love and haven’t found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,” you said, concluding your investigation. 

“Wow,” was all Jaehyun said. 

Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, “Am I warm?”

“You’re on fire,” he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. “But how did you know?”

“That you love a damsel in distress?”

“That I’ve looked for love and gave up on it.”

You almost rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe he was seriously asking that question. “No offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus you’re hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt it’s meaningless sex.”

Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you could’ve imagined it being there. 

“I don’t think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know she’s out there, and when the time’s right, you’ll know.” Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, “But you’re also a guy, and guys want sex.”

Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didn’t know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep. 

You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You could’ve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before. 

There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time. 

Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. “What about you - what are you looking for?”

“Who said I was looking?” you asked with obvious amusement. 

That shattered Jaehyun’s former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didn’t intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It would’ve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later. 

So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but you’d forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.

That way getting hurt was borderline impossible. 

Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, “You said that you think I’m hot.”

“I literally said that ten hundred hours ago,” you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air. 

You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didn’t know he was hot was a fool. “Am I hot enough to kiss?”

Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldn’t get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser. 

You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better. 

Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you could’ve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball. 

To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didn’t know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful. 

It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.

Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommate’s that was never home, according to Jaehyun. 

Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriend’s apartment and Jaehyun didn’t know why he still paid rent, but he didn’t complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out. 

And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, “I don’t like the attention.”

Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out. 

The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun. 

Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. “Good morning, Dimples.”

Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. “Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”

“I should’ve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyun’s blankets to help strengthen the temperature. 

Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often. 

“I could’ve slept on the sofa,” you said without complaint. “The party was over by the time we called it a night and it’s the most comfortable sofa I’ve ever put my butt on.”

“It goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when there’s a perfectly functional bed upstairs.”

“Aw, what a gentleman,” you replied, coming to stand at his side. “I drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I don’t know how you live like a damn vampire.”

“What’s wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.”

“I don’t think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,” you retorted, arms crossed. 

Jaehyun’s lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything. 

You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, “Whatever you’re about to say - don’t.”

Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, “I made you something. It’s not much because I’ve gotta go soon, but I didn’t want you to be hungry.”

“Thank you,” you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over. 

“You’re welcome,” Jaehyun told you gently. “Next time I’ll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.”

You gawked. “You can cook?”

“A little bit, yeah. Why?”

“You just got so much hotter,” you breathed.

Jaehyun grinned. 

The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home. 

Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasn’t unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive. 

You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasn’t a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had. 

You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you weren’t expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents. 

You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, “Uh oh. Am I in trouble?”

Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. “Very much so.”

Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You look like you had a long night.”

“That’s probably because I did.”

“Did you hook up with anyone?”

You grimaced. “Gross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?”

Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious. 

“No, I didn’t hook up,” you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth. 

Johnny’s lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. “I worry about you. Is that a crime?” 

You exhaled a long breath. “You’re right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I just got… distracted.”

That got Mark’s attention and he butted in dramatically, “Where did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadn’t been twenty-four hours.”

Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. “And what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?”

“I wouldn’t be too worried. You’re annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said ‘come get your bitch back.’”

You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once. 

“I’m gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,” you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs. 

Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didn’t hesitate to add, “You’re gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.”

“For the last time, I did not hook up,” you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. “And get the hell out of my house - you don’t even live here!”

You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook. 

A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didn’t have a lot of spare time. 

You didn’t mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained. 

Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasn’t a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high. 

Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.

And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier. 

Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didn’t want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess. 

He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty. 

Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyun’s bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, “Hey, is she coming over tonight?”

“Yes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,” Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose. 

“Have you guys… you know?”

“That’s a personal question.”

“So you haven’t.” Yugyeom pressed, “Man, when are you gonna tell her you’ve got the hots for her? You know what, I’ll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.”

Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. “I think I know what girls like.”

“Then what’s the problem? And don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. We’re both dudes, man. That’s bullshit.”

“There isn’t one,” Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He might’ve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth. 

Yugyeom prodded, “Then?”

“I just don’t wanna rush into it.”

Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside. 

But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous. 

So Yugyeom left it alone. 

Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyun’s driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyun’s which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together. 

Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, “Darling, I’m home!”

“I’m upstairs,” Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself. 

You didn’t hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyun’s comfortable bedroom. “Hey, Dimples,” you greeted. 

Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background. 

The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. “Come here.”

You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place. 

God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasn’t on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyun’s company. There was something happening to you and you couldn’t tell if you liked it or not. 

Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “Things okay at home?”

“New topic,” you groaned. 

Jaehyun winced. That couldn’t have been too good. 

“You smell good,” you purred, breathing in his scent. 

“You always say that.”

“Because you always smell good.” 

“I just got out of the shower.”

“Without me?”

“You sound like a guy,” Jaehyun said in disapproval. 

You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.

Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking. 

You couldn’t help but stare back. Jaehyun’s visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldn’t help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there. 

It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that you’d spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism. 

When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?

Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldn’t have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you should’ve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.

Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all. 

Your lips found Jaehyun’s again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest. 

Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldn’t ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, “Do you want to have sex with me?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.

All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. “I want to hear you say it.”

Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. “I want to have sex with you.”

That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him. 

His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyun’s touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen. 

Jaehyun’s eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. “Are marks okay?”

Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. “Yeah. Johnny will notice, but he’ll never assume they’re from you.” 

It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over. 

Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasn’t as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadn’t been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since you’d last had sex. 

And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didn’t fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.

“Jaehyun, fuck me,” you groaned impatiently. 

Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, “I want you to beg.”

You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, “Make me.”

“I’m gonna make you beg, alright,” Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties. 

The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didn’t look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste. 

You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyun’s voice somehow got deeper when he asked, “Will you let me taste you?” 

“Fuck,” you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. “Uh, yeah. Yes.”

No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldn’t have been further from tentative. 

Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.

There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out. 

It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did. 

“Jesus, fuck,” was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think. 

Jaehyun sure didn’t seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel. 

Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute. 

The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window. 

Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “How are you doing up there?”

No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, “Fuck.”

Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. “It sounds to me like you’re having a fun time,” he started. “Do you want to cum?”

You obviously heard that and hissed, “Don’t ask stupid questions.” 

“If you want to cum, then beg me for it,” Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.

Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously. 

The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg. 

“Please,” you said, your voice raising a few pitches. “Oh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun didn’t make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there.  

And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core. 

Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyun’s soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didn’t release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank. 

It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.

Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. “Are you back to earth?”

“Barely,” you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs. 

“Do you want to stop?”

You gawked. “Are you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.”

“I still want to fuck you,” Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his. 

Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain. 

I think that’s the best head I’ve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasn’t top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?

Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasn’t a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one. 

Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didn’t think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option. 

You didn’t want to ruin that, so you didn’t get too deep. 

But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting. 

Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. “Do you have condoms?”

“Always,” Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.

That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you weren’t sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. You’d rather be safe.

Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, “Tell me how you want it.”

“Hard and deep. Deep and hard,” you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye. 

Jaehyun smirked. “That can be arranged.”

You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted. 

It didn’t seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, “You’re staring.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” Jaehyun said. 

You giggled. “No, I’m not.”

The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch. 

You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface. 

Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell. 

“Oh my god…,” you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled. 

Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. “Does that feel okay?”

“More than okay,” you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build. 

You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.

Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasn’t an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking. 

It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasn’t, it was damn near close. 

There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you could’ve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles. 

Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadn’t even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating. 

His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body. 

It was fucking mind-blowing. 

Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight weren’t to have sex, in spite of his roommate’s attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision. 

“You take it so good, baby,” Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you. 

Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous. 

You were peering into Jaehyun’s soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through. 

You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasn’t skipping out on the extremes. 

Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, “I’m so close.”

Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black. 

The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits. 

“I want you to cum,” Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. “Nice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Yes,” you choked out. 

If you were being frank, he didn’t even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof. 

All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.

Your hands slipped from Jaehyun’s hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, “Finish me.”

The hoarseness of your voice alone could’ve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldn’t last very much longer. 

You were even more restless than before and it wasn’t long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.

Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing. 

The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly. 

Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. “Are you okay?”

Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyun’s attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. “No, more like incredible.”

That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. “Do you wanna shower with me?”

“That’s kinda intimate,” you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. “Hell yeah, I do.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom. 

Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyun’s. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own. 

Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you. 

You sat on Jaehyun’s bed, memories of what you’d just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back. 

At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side. 

There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Jaehyun didn’t believe you at all, but he didn’t press. 

You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow weren’t paying attention, he just got out of the shower. 

But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you should’ve. It wasn’t your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girls’ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown woman’s wet ones. 

As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldn’t help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. “Jaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?”

Jaehyun hummed. You figured he might’ve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows. 

“You’re pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. You’re technically always alone, but you don’t live alone. Why?”

Now that wasn’t what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. “It’s because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.”

You made a noise of content. “You’re close then.”

“Yup.” 

You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.

“What about you and your friends?”

“What about them?”

“What’s the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?”

You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. “No way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,” you quipped. 

Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle. 

Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. “On a serious note, Mark is my bestie and he’s what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes I’ll walk in on them hanging out without me.”

You didn’t notice the way Jaehyun’s head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating. 

And he was only irritating to some. Those who didn’t find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts. 

You continued, “Yuta is more Johnny’s friend than he is mine, but he’s laidback. Haechan is a little shit but he’s funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.”

You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it must’ve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasn’t half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly. 

Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, “Ew!”

Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldn’t have been further from his type, was one of your older brother’s closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious. 

Never mind the fact that he admitted he’d actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It would’ve been the easiest way. 

You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldn’t ignore each other’s incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how you’d slept. 

Side by side, skin to skin. 

The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.

Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief. 

After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadn’t eaten since you left home. 

What you didn’t expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though. 

You weren’t sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture. 

Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. “Oh, hey. Sleep good?”

“I only slept for a few hours,” you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. “But yeah, I slept pretty good.”

Yugyeom chuckled. “I bet.”

You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasn’t a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you weren’t close by any means. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” you said after a pause, straddling a barstool. 

“I mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?”

“Jaehyun,” you chirped. 

“Okay, that’s fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?”

“You and Jungkook, but it wasn’t always that way.”

Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell. 

I’ll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. “You know, you’re the first girl I’ve seen last this long with Jaehyun.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not saying he’s a player, but I thought I’d stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isn’t easily impressed,” Yugyeom said. 

It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. “I’m sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.”

“I didn’t say that you weren’t.”

“Yes, but you think that we aren’t,” you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after. 

Yugyeom laughed. “No, I don’t. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All I’m saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.”

“And you want me to take it?”

Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. “Whatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.”

Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, “What are you two talking about?”

Yugyeom lied without hesitation, “How handsome you are, of course.”

Jaehyun didn’t believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Oh, the handsomest,” you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder. 

Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, “You left me.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. “I’ll stay next time.”

“Good.”

Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate. 

The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyun’s arms, restless. If you weren’t getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you weren’t kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless. 

It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.

You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence. 

Plus you didn’t get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope. 

Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didn’t want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldn’t last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture. 

But of course, you were pacing down your school’s courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Mark’s footsteps catching up to you. “Wanna tell me why Johnny asked me if you’ve been going out with somebody lately?” he asked.

You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. “Why would he ask you that?”

“Because I’m your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,” Mark hissed.

You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off. 

Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, “Don’t freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.”

Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, “What the fuck, dude?”

“I just said don’t freak out!”

Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasn’t going to freak out. “Are you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.”

“God, I know,” you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache. 

The shock was still evident on Mark’s face, but he seemed to be cooling off. “Shit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?”

Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. “Jeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.”

Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyun’s. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes. 

“Oh my god,” Mark gasped. 

“What?”

“That night you went upstairs to pee and didn’t come back,” Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadn’t seen the hints earlier. “You were off screwing Jaehyun, weren’t you?”

“Actually, no. I was with him, yes, but we weren’t hooking up then.”

Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?

Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, “Listen. You can’t tell Johnny.”

Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. “Alright. Fine.”

“I’m serious. You have to promise.”

Mark groaned, “Dude, I’m not gonna tell Johnny that you’re fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.”

You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. “Okay.”

“But that doesn’t mean that I approve.”

“Understandable. I can live with that.”

“I don’t see how,” Mark grumbled under his breath. 

You frowned. 

Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week. 

But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyun’s birthday came of nowhere. 

“No way you were born on Valentine’s day,” you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo. 

Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him. 

Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyun’s house. 

You had gotten him a gift and you weren’t sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation you’d shared and you were half confident, half uncertain. 

Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriend’s place after spending the morning celebrating his friend’s birthday, and held the door open for you. “Uh, do you need a minute?”

“No. Thank you,” you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside. 

You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it might’ve broken. 

Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. “Hi.”

“Hi, birthday boy,” you greeted. 

Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself. 

“I, uh, got you something,” you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous. 

“I can see that.” Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to. You’re my… friend,” you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. “I didn’t know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.”

Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, “Whatever you got me is more than enough, baby.”

You sure hoped so. You didn’t spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable. 

Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyun’s features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile. 

A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyun’s attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end. 

“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. “You… I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.”

“When you talk, I listen.”

Jaehyun’s eyes met yours. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded. 

Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot. 

But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts. 

You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once. 

But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldn’t have each other? What if?

Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up could’ve prevented his feelings from getting this deep. 

You wouldn’t tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldn’t have him? 

When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. “Let’s go make hot cocoa,” he said after a pause.

You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think. 

The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten. 

You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite. 

Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didn’t have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.

Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home. 

He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home he’d built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay.  

A hopeless romantic to his core. 

After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldn’t decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice. 

There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasn’t an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him. 

Though you didn’t notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didn’t make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, “I kind of got you something, too.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. “You got me something… for your birthday?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s also Valentine’s day and you’re… important to me,” Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips. 

“I am?”

“You are,” he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. “Stick it into your computer when you get home.”

You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldn’t be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, “What’s on it?”

“A surprise,” was all Jaehhyun said. 

You hummed. If Jaehyun didn’t want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press. 

But you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t killing you. 

Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didn’t want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejection’s brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds. 

At least you couldn’t tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. “Talk to me,” he said, squeezing your hand. 

You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. “About what?”

“Tell me more about yourself. It’s been months, but I feel like there’s still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.”

A little sigh left you. “Where do I even begin?” That was what you said, but you’d already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. “I want to be an orthopedic surgeon. I’m obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. That’s why I’ve been busting my ass for grad school.”

That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene might’ve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyun’s first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks. 

You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance. 

Jaehyun was a keen listener. “That sounds tough.”

You fought a groan. “God, yes. But it’s so worth it. It’s my senior year and I’ve been waiting my whole life for med school.”

“You’ve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?”

“I’ve always known who I wanted to be,” you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. “What about you?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “No. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole ‘finding yourself’ thing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. That’s freedom,” you said.

Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity might’ve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. “What about love?”

“What about it?”

“Did you ever dream of that, too?”

You should’ve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. “I used to,” you admitted, somber. “I just haven’t had a ton of faith in it lately. That’s what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize life’s not like the movies.”

Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, I’m the hopeless one. I’ve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine. 

Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, I know.”

You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already would’ve. 

“You didn’t ask me,” Jaehyun started. 

You glanced up at him. 

“About my pain,” he continued shortly. “About her.”

“I didn’t think you were ready.”

“Do you want to know?”

“I mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,” you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing. 

He replied with total certainty, “I want you to know.”

You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasn’t a single person in the county who didn’t know your history with your one and only ex. “Okay. Take your time.”

Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that he’d never specifically told anyone. “Back home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasn’t. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.”

You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening. 

Jaehyun continued, “I guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldn’t be myself around her.”

You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew. 

“Then, I found out she was cheating on me,” Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. “And I left her then and there. I dipped. I might’ve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.”

You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadn’t had nearly as many other partners as you thought he would’ve. “You’ve only dated once?”

“For me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasn’t a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,” Jaehyun said. “I talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and I’ve obviously hooked up.”

Ironically, I’ve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me. 

“I harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, I’m a little lonely sometimes, but it’s okay.”

“Does it get sad?” you asked quietly. 

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, but it’s better than being heartbroken. Anyways, I’ve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.”

You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasn’t that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didn’t have expiration dates. 

Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasn’t hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyun’s head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didn’t have a future together.

But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you. 

You were hyper aware of Jaehyun’s eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. “Is there hot cocoa on my face?”

Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender. 

You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink you’d shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldn’t be sated till his soul was tied to yours. 

When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for. 

Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you. 

You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didn’t concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore. 

Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever. 

You pulled back and panted, “So, you won’t let me sleep on the couch, but you’ll fuck me on it?”

“It’s seen worse days,” Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck. 

You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyun’s name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldn’t forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets. 

Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits. 

Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, “You ready for me, baby?”

“More than,” you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily. 

Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldn’t stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldn’t do it. 

You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.

Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation. 

You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, “Why did you do that?”

“I forgot a condom,” Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare. 

“Gee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,” you deadpanned. 

Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, he’d lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside. 

You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. “Where are you going?”

Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, “To get a condom.”

“Sit your cute ass down,” you told him a bit too assertively. “You can have me raw.” 

Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. “For real?”

You nodded. “Yes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.”

Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, “That’s one hell of a responsibility, woman.”

You purred teasingly, “Are you scared you won’t be able to do it, or are you scared that you’ll bust too fast?”

Jaehyun’s eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.

You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint. 

Jaehyun didn’t reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyun’s throat. 

You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly. 

Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper. 

You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer. 

Like he was making love to you.

“You’re so beautiful. I’m in love with your body,” Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.

You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter. 

Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.

You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldn’t get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another. 

But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame. 

“God, fuck,” you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. “You make me feel so good.”

Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other. 

Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyun’s name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck. 

It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have. 

Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock. 

You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air. 

“Like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Jay,” you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders. 

The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldn’t take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. “Look at me,” he growled. 

You did. You didn’t have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.

Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldn’t breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace. 

You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.

There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyun’s hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs. 

Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out. 

Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots. 

You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyun’s pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasn’t done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished. 

Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath. 

You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts. 

Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, “Jay, baby, keep going. I don’t care how long it takes. Fuck me until you’re done.”

Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface. 

You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you. 

Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, “Get on your knees.” 

You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control. 

Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off. 

You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat. 

Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didn’t want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end. 

You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself. 

Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.

Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldn’t even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not. 

You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax. 

Jaehyun ultimately couldn’t control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise you’d ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs. 

You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear. 

Jaehyun looked like he’d just had the ground ripped from underneath him. “You just blew my mind,” he said through jagged breaths. 

You didn’t miss a beat. “I just blew you.”

Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face. 

After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, “By the way, I’m on birth control.”

Jaehyun’s mouth gaped open. “Are you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.”

“That didn’t stop you from fucking me though, now did it?” you replied, crossing your arms. 

“I wasn’t that scared.”

You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. “Besides, at least our baby would’ve had the world’s finest father.”

“And the world’s finest mother. They would’ve been beautiful,” Jaehyun flirted. 

Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. “I meant that you would’ve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.”

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered in shock. “Why do you think that?”

You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didn’t need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. “Because love itself is your passion. You’re selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.”

Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed. 

You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and would’ve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed. 

Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets. 

You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets. 

It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyun’s weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldn’t want to leave. 

That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that you’d accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof. 

You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable. 

Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldn’t last forever and didn’t attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing. 

Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyun’s cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I can’t have you and I don’t even know why. 

“Jay?” you whispered. 

“Hm?”

You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you would’ve thought it wasn’t your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun… meant something to you. This was officially your business. “Why does my brother hate you?” you asked. 

Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. “You don’t know?”

You shook your head. “No. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but it’s killing me and I need to know.” Because I can’t make sense of why we can’t be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.

Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend. 

You were almost afraid to ask, “Is this going to change my perspective on you?”

“It shouldn’t if you believe me,” Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasn’t too confident that you’d take his side. 

You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark. 

Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didn’t want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasn’t. “You knew Mike, right?”

You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnny’s friend, but let him continue. 

Jaehyun explained, “I’m sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. That’s what he said.”

You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. “But?”

“But then he wasn’t clean anymore,” Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. “Last year, at one of Xiaojun’s parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.”

You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldn’t stop once he’d gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking. 

“Then some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he OD’d, but I swear to god it wasn’t me. But they ran with it anyway.”

You frowned, pausing your hands’ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends. 

That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didn’t take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didn’t want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyun’s house and Johnny would ask if you’d done any drugs. 

Because of Jaehyun. 

“God, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, I’d kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasn’t me,” Jaehyun said, sounding broken. 

You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads. 

Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. “Please tell me you believe me.”

“I believe you,” you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadn’t known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that you’d known each other. 

“Thank god,” Jaehyun sighed in relief. “Does this change things between us?”

You shook your head. “No. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think you’re a good guy now. Nothing is new.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, “Trusting me.”

You laced your fingers through Jaehyun’s, squeezing his hand. “I’ll always trust you.”

That warmed Jaehyun’s heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders. 

The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.

Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didn’t want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it would’ve been to do something as simple as go out together. 

Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, “I want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.”

You blinked. “You want to go out… with me?” you asked, making sure you weren’t mistaken. 

Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. “Is that a bad idea?”

“What if we get caught together?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Of course it is. You don’t have anything to lose,” you said, but your tone was humorous.

Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “I have you to lose.”

You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.

There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks. 

Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach. 

It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating. 

He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professor’s classroom for attendance. 

After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyun’s room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave. 

And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself. 

Good morning, sleeping handsome. I’m gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didn’t notice. See you next weekend. Call me. 

Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that you’d obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you. 

Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one. 

You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it would’ve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it. 

It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting. 

You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how. 

There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasn’t Jaehyun’s idea of a love confession. Maybe you’d known all along, but you didn’t want to accept it, because you knew that it wasn’t written in the stars. 

Now you had no choice. 

You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else. 

Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too. 

Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jeno’s house didn’t count. Those were merely instances you’d happened to cross paths. 

When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didn’t jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne. 

You didn’t mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyun’s disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasn’t on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.   

He couldn’t help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasn’t going to ask. 

The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak. 

But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didn’t want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life. 

Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further. 

It wasn’t until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text you’d received from Johnny. We need to talk. I’ll be home in an hour. “Well, that cannot be good,” you mumbled to yourself. 

“It isn’t.”

You jolted in alarm. You didn’t know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once. 

Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnny’s face, you fought a groan, wondering what you could’ve possibly done now when you’d been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, “Hi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.”

Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, “Taeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?”

That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. “What?”

Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. “Don’t play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?”

“I’m not dating him, we’re just…,” you trailed in frustration, realizing that you’d been caught. “Shit, yeah. I’ve fucked him and we’re hanging out.”

Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe this. God, my own sister.”

Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you would’ve at least seen the text and braced yourself. “Johnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!”

“I could never like him,” Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence.  

You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. “Please listen to me, alright? He didn’t do it, Johnny. It wasn’t him!”

Johnny gawked. He couldn’t believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, “Of course that’s what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?”

Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyun’s claims. “No, but...”

Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, “Stop. Just stop. I don’t even want to see your face right now.”

Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment. 

After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating. 

Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldn’t even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.

Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye. 

You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak. 

The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didn’t want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one. 

Though you couldn’t see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. “Am I late?”

“No, you’re perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,” you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch. 

Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. “What happened?”

“Johnny knows,” you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. “Taeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.”

Jaehyun’s heart sank. No wonder you hadn’t texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. “What now?”

“I can’t see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I won’t have a brother anymore. I can’t live with that guilt. That’s why I’ve been running from it for months,” you said quietly. 

Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. “We’re giving up? That’s insane! Don’t let him stop us from being together.”

You recoiled, surprised. “Are you asking me to choose you over my brother?”

“No, of course not,” Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words. 

You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. “You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I can’t give you that, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun shook his head. “None of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I don’t care what compromises I have to make.”

“Well, I do,” you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. “It was never going to work. You had to know this. We aren’t Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they don’t get to be happy!”

Jaehyun’s chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?

Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, “I’ve enjoyed these past months with you and we’ve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.”

Jaehyun spat, “I don’t want to be just friends. I can’t be just friends with you. Why don’t you understand that?”

Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing could’ve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free. 

Not even knowing this day would come. 

“I love you,” Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you. 

Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. “You can’t love me.”

Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, “You can’t tell me how to feel.”

Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyun’s too. “You’re in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you don’t love me.”

Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldn’t stand for it. “Saying that doesn’t make it true.”

You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didn’t want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless. 

Jaehyun continued, “You did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.”

Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, “Goddammit, Jaehyun - you can’t have me!”

You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didn’t want things to end on even worse terms than they already were. 

But you should’ve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and he’d damned if he surrendered without a fight. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” 

You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. “The fuck do you want me to do, Jay? It’s out of my hands.”

“Talk to Johnny - you know that I didn’t do anything!”

“No, I don’t know anything,” you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly. 

That stunned Jaehyun. You didn’t trust him anymore?

Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. “Wow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.”

You walked away. You didn’t have the strength. 

Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldn’t stand you right now. “I bet this isn’t just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you don’t have to trust another guy again.”

Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadn’t even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, “Fuck you. I wish I never met you.”

Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it. 

The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didn’t want to be a little more optimistic. You could’ve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities. 

Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your mother’s questions and made a beeline for your bed. 

Johnny didn’t ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what should’ve never needed to happen in the first place. 

The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didn’t talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And  Mark wouldn’t understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available. 

Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. I’ve truly outdone myself. I’ve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record. 

Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didn’t call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think. 

You weren’t sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?

It wasn’t that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadn’t. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely. 

And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow. 

Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too. 

The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard. 

Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasn’t like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasn’t any less excruciating. 

Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you weren’t as alone as you thought you were, but you still didn’t want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid. 

You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyun’s familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.   

What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadn’t ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You could’ve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better. 

But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature. 

It doesn’t matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain. 

You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun could’ve never been a pair. You knew it wouldn’t last forever. You’d always known. You didn’t expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didn’t expect to have your fun cut short so soon either. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention. 

You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasn’t for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this would’ve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.

Fuck, you should’ve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadn’t smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else. 

More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?

If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldn’t be hurting. Your heart was being tortured. 

It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldn’t relive this agonizing cycle over and over. 

You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty. 

Something had to give. 

To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. “Hey, bestie. Talk to me,” he said. “How you feeling?”

“Like judgment day came early for me, I guess,” you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets. 

Mark sighed roughly. “Damn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said you’re the world’s biggest hermit and it’s kinda depressing.”

That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. “Oh, Johnny’s been talking about me?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. He’s your brother.”

Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger. 

Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, “Oh, my beloved bestie…”

Mark knew that tone and interjected, “Fuck.”

You fought a tiny laugh and continued, “Would you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?”

The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you “yes.”

Mark huffed, “Jesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldn’t lie. I’m a man of God.”

Because you didn’t feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, “Your dad’s a cop, isn’t he?”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. “Is there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mike’s overdose?”

Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadn’t thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, “I’ll call you back.” And then he hung up. 

You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.

Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didn’t have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.

Sleep came easy. Though they weren’t Jaehyun’s, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasn’t stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel. 

Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest. 

You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didn’t, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, “Hello?”

“Good news,” Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. “I had my dad pull some strings. And you’re gonna wanna hear this.”

Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, “Well?”

“Jeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and they’re literally about to bust the guy that did it. They’re waiting on a warrant. You’ve got great timing,” Mark said. 

You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. “What the hell?”

“Isn’t this good news?”

“Yeah, it is,” you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didn’t think the stupid plan would really work. “Thank you, Mark.”

Mark was quick to reassure you, “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?”

You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. “Uh, would today be a bad time?”

“The sooner the better.”

You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, “Will you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.”

Mark retorted, “Should I bring the entire police force too?”

You rolled your eyes and begged, “Come on, Mark. You’re my bestie and I need you. He’s more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.”

“I was already on my way,” Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up. 

You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die. 

Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves. 

The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute. 

You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, “Hey, I really need to talk to you.”

Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, “You can go first.”

You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parents’ rebuttal on your behalf. “I don’t know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.”

Johnny nodded along, listening. 

“But I fell in love with him,” you said without hesitation. “And I’m not going to ask you to accept us or anything. That’s your choice. But I thought there was something you should know that’s bigger than Jaehyun and I.”

Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. “Okay.”

It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnny’s eyes carefully set on your face, but you didn’t let it stop you from continuing, “It really wasn’t him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Mark’s dad not only confirmed it wasn’t him, but they’re working on getting him into custody.”

Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way you’d vouched for him all these years. “It’s true, Johnny. It wasn’t Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.”

Johnny’s eyes flickered. “It really wasn’t Jaehyun?”

Mark shook his head. “He’s innocent, dude.”

Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “I feel like shit now.”

You snorted. “Don’t do that to yourself. Please. I’ve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.”

“About that,” Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for freezing you out.”

“Johnny…,” you trailed. 

Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. “I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, and though I haven’t exactly been pleased with you, you’re still my sister. The least I could’ve done was ask you ‘how are you doing?’ but I couldn’t even be bothered.”

You sighed loudly. That was true. And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t rub salt in the wounds. 

“I haven’t done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. You’re my only sibling and let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll be getting another one,” Johnny said lightheartedly. 

You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldn’t be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out. 

Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And I’ll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.”

“No need. I forgive you right now,” you whispered, simpering. 

Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didn’t feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took. 

You took the lead, starting reluctantly, “Listen. I know Mike’s passing has been hard on you, Johnny. That’s why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but I’m an adult. You need to let me take care of me.” 

A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldn’t leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday. 

You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “And you’re my big brother. I’ll obviously still give you a call when I’m going through a rough time. But you have to respect that I’m my own person.”

Johnny nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry about all that too. I’ll be better.”

“I will too,” you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts. 

Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished. 

Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brother’s loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this. 

You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. “Alright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,” you wheezed.

Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless. 

Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, “I’m so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.”

You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late. 

Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, “Yo, Johnny, are we good?”

“No.”

Mark gawked. 

“I’m kidding,” Johnny said with a teasing lilt. “We’re good, man.”

Mark exhaled in relief. “Thank god.”

You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from your life. 

Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, “Go get him.”

You gasped, but you didn’t question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. “You mean it?”

“Yes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,” Johnny told you (sort of) kindly. 

You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. “Pray for me. He’s not gonna be thrilled.”

Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. “Yeah, he will. Tell him that I’m very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” you deadpanned, heading for the door. 

The drive to Jaehyun’s house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didn’t help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of “what ifs.”

For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?

Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside. 

You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, “Can I come inside?”

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed and he didn’t waste any time in snapping, “Why should I let you in after you broke my friend’s heart?”

“Because I’m sorry and I want to set things right with him,” you said, matching his lack of hesitation. 

Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, “Oh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. I’m sick of his brooding ass.”

You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind you’d been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot. 

Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize. 

You knocked on Jaehyun’s door, but you guessed he really wasn’t expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, “Jesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.”

“It’s not Yugyeom,” you called back. “It’s me.”

All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. “What are you doing here?”

“I walked to talk,” you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact. 

Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, “We already had a conversation.” Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life. 

The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. “I know, but I wanted to apologize. Won’t you at least hear me out?”

Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, “You’re the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didn’t even want to do that.”

“Because I thought it would be useless,” you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. “But I don’t anymore. You were right. I should’ve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.”

Jaehyun might’ve acted like he wasn’t listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. “You said ‘earlier.’ What do you mean?”

You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, “I mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Mark’s father is a cop.”

Jaehyun softened. “You did all that? Why?”

“Because you’re worth fighting for,” you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe. 

Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasn’t tired of the doubts. 

Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. “I didn’t mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.”

Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. “I know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.”

You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. “Stop being understanding.” 

“If you’re expecting me to be angry, I can’t do anything for you. I’ve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.”

You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. “Where are you at now?”

Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, “Bargaining.”

“Funny. Me too,” you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery. 

You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldn’t resist loving you. Sue me. 

The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, He’s my little damsel now. 

The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyun’s hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you told him softly. “I thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didn’t want to quit until you’d exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun squeezed your hand. “It’s okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didn’t stand a chance against fate.”

“And somehow I made shit ten times more painful,” you murmured, ashamed. 

“Like I said, I understand where you were coming from,” Jaehyun said, being gentler than he should’ve. 

You shook your head. That meant nothing. “But do you forgive me?”

Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. “Yes. I forgive you, baby.”

Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things he’d say that made you feel as if you would burst with love. 

But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didn’t want to be without them ever again. 

“I’m tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that you’ll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops I’d never think to go to otherwise.”

Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. “You said you love me.”

“I haven’t said it before?”

Jaehyun huffed, “No. Not even once.”

You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, “Then, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I don’t know what to do without you.”

“I love you too,” Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin. 

You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting. 

“Don’t leave me ever again. Don’t ever let me go. Never,” Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.

“I won’t,” you told him, kissing his forehead. “If you play me that song you made me on your guitar.”

Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. “You liked it?”

“I think I’ve cried to it, like, a million times,” you admitted unabashedly. 

Jaehyun’s jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room. 

A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song he’d written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyun’s. And Jaehyun was yours. 

Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didn’t know how to be without him. And you didn’t have to learn, because you never would be without him again. 

You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, There’s nothing to dislike about this guy. 

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 reaction to their s/o cutely asking for kiss

Request: hiii my love🥹🥹 i love your writing so so much (。･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ i have a request for you if you’re up to it!! how would svt ot13 react to reader asking (cutely) for kisses? only if you’re up to it ofc!! i feel like your writing style would suit something like this so well eeeee sjkshak ♡＾▽＾♡ i hope you have a lovely day !!! (´▽｀).。ｏ♡

A/N: It may not be perfect and up to expectations, but I really hope you like it.

Content: Fluff and me cussing because I got no self control, sorry.

Seungcheol: He’d immediately melt, his heart practically liquefying at the sight—your cuteness. Seriously, this man has no defenses against it. His gaze soften with that soft, lovesick gaze of his. He’s way too in love to even pretend like he's cool about it. His hand finds the small of your back as he pulls you closer, his warmth enveloping you completely. He’d plant a featherlight kiss on your forehead—because god forbid you think he doesn't appreciate you being this adorable, then, his lips brush yours, soft and deliberate like he’s savoring every second. His other hand tilts your chin up just slightly, and the kiss deepens—not rushed, but slow and intoxicating, the kind that leaves you feeling weightless. He’s totally aware of the power you hold over him. You're the softest, most lovable thing he’s ever seen, and he’s fully prepared to kiss the hell out of you whenever you ask (•̀o•́)ง

Jeonghan: This man. This Man. He wouldn't give in so easily, because where's the fun in that? The moment you looked at him with those big, pleading eyes, he'd tilt his head, smirk tugging at the corners of his lips like he's got all the time in the world to tease you. And he does because he's Jeonghan, and your patience is his favorite thing to toy with. He'd wait until you started to pout, yes, the pout, and then it's game over. His smirk would break. And then, boom-attack mode activated. He'd lean in, catching you completely off guard as he kissed you everywhere. Forehead, cheeks, nose, lips-this man's got zero chill when it comes to your cuteness. You'd barely have time to breathe before he's back for more, because yeah, he's a menace, but he's also so fucking whipped.

Joshua: Joshua fucking Hong. He's a soft yet calculated menace (evil twin for a reason) who knows exactly how to make you melt. He'd glance at you, his ears turning the most adorable shade of pink, before reaching out to cup your face so softly. And then, The kiss. It'd be so gentle, so sweet, but Joshua isn't done. He'd pull back just slightly, only to press pecks all over your face. You'd think he's finished, but then-bam-he's back for your lips again, It's enough to make you want to scream into a pillow, because how is this man real?! He's soft and teasing and completely ruining you all at once, and he's smiling so sweetly the entire time, like he doesn't know he knows the chaos he's causing.

Jun: Before you could even blink, he’d lean in, his hands cradling your face and start smothering you in kisses. And I mean everywhere. Your cheeks, your forehead, the tip of your nose—nothing is safe from his assault of affection. You’d be giggling uncontrollably because, how do you not laugh when someone is this aggressively adorable? And when your giggles turn into that breathless kind of laughter that makes your cheeks hurt, Jun would pause for just a second, giving you the softest look ever (ಥ﹏ಥ) before diving back in for more. Seriously, are you kidding me? This is the cutest shit ever.

Hoshi: Soonyoung would have zero chill like a tiger. Like, none. You’d ask for kisses, and this man would scream, “KWON SOONYOUNG WILL DELIVER!” And then, boom—couch tackle. I’m not kidding; he’d literally throw himself at you like it’s a wrestling match, his weight knocking you back into the cushions as he grins like an absolute madman. He’d pepper your face with so many pecks that your cheeks would be flushed, your hair a mess, and your stomach would hurt from laughing so much, but does Soonyoung stop? Absolutely not. He’s all-in because of how cute you are. I mean, come on. This man’s kisses are a fucking serotonin boost (｡♥‿♥｡)

Wonwoo: Wonwoo would literally freeze, like his brain just blue-screened. You’d watch as he blinked at you, clearly trying to process how cutely you asked. The way his ears would start turning the tiniest bit pink. But then, oh my god, the smile. That shy, little barely there smile would creep onto his face, and it’s game over for you. He’d lean in so carefully, as if you might shatter, and place the softest fuckass kiss on your lips, pulling back just enough to whisper, “You’re adorable,” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Sir? Hello?? And the way he looks at you after, like you just handed him the moon? Yeah.

Woozi: Flustered Woozi is a whole mood, and you’d get front-row seats to the show. The moment the word ‘kisses’ leaves your lips, he’d stammer, his face turning about twelve shades of red faster than you could blink. It’s adorable, but also, Jihoon? Get a grip, bro. He’d try to act all nonchalant, but you know he’s losing his mind. Shit, this is red too. BUT no matter how flustered he gets, he can’t resist you. He’d finally lean in, quick as lightning, pressing a shy kiss to your lips before pulling back. He’d then grumble something like, “Don’t ask like that, it’s too much,” while still avoiding your eyes because you’re TOO cute, and he can’t handle it. Honestly, Woozi being this soft is enough to make you (us) want to sob (｡T ω T｡)

Dokyeom: Oh, Seokmin. Sweet, sunshine Seokmin. His face would light up like a goddamn Christmas tree the second the words leave your mouth. “Of course!” he’d exclaim, already grinning from ear to ear. He’d lean in with all the drama of a lead in a romantic K-drama, his hands cradling your face as he starts peppering sweet, playful kisses across your lips and cheeks. He’d be giggling the whole time, because your cuteness is literally too much for him. Honestly, are you fucking kidding me?! The way he’d pull back just to give you that soft, adoring smile before diving back in for more? Yeah, you’re ruined. Completely and utterly ruined ♡

Mingyu: He lives for riling you up. The second you ask, he’d shoot you this cheeky smirk, leaning closer like he’s trying to interrogate you. “Oh? You want kisses from me? Is this a bribe?” he’d say, all smug, because he’s that guy. And before you can even start protesting because seriously, who bribes for kisses?!—he’s already scooping you up like you weigh nothing (show-off) and smothering you in kisses. Like, everywhere. Your cheeks, your forehead, your nose—hell, he might even go for your hands if he’s feeling extra (which he is). “I’m kidding,” he’d whisper in between kisses, his voice all soft and warm. “I’d kiss you all day if you let me.” And the way he’s looking at you? Like you hung the damn stars in the sky? Yeah, Mingyu wins. We all lose. Someone call a medic, because this is too much.

Minghao: Minghao would give you the look. You know, the one that’s equal parts of amusement and disbelief, like he’s genuinely questioning you? “Kisses, huh?” He’d make you repeat yourself. Not once, but twice. Because apparently, your cute little request wasn’t enough for him the first time. The audacity! But oh, when you finally repeat yourself, all shy and adorable, his smirk would soften, and he’d lean in to place the most deliberate, gentle kiss on your lips. And then he’d just pull back, shrugging like it’s no big deal like he’s completely unfazed. But don’t let that fool you—inside, he’s melting, because how are you this fucking cute?! And honestly? Same, Minghao. Same.

Seungkwan: Sweet, dramatic, extra Seungkwan. He’d gasp so loudly you’d think you just insulted his entire family tree. “Aigoo, you want kisses from me? What are you, a baby?” he’d exclaim, all mock-offended and ridiculous. But then, you pout. And here’s where the real magic happens. Because Seungkwan? This man would immediately crumble. Before you know it, he’s absolutely peppering your face with kisses and in between, he’d be muttering something like, “Why did I tease you? I’m such an idiot. You’re too cute.” He’d pull back just to check if you’re smiling again, and when you are? More kisses. Because Seungkwan doesn’t half-ass anything, especially when it comes to you.

Vernon: The moment you ask him for kisses, Vernon is the type to get caught off guard so easily, it’s kind of adorable. “Oh, uh… sure?” he’d say but he’s secretly dying inside, because how could you be this cute asking for a kiss?! Vernon would lean in as if he’s got it all under control, but you just know his heart is doing somersaults as he places the softest kiss on your lips. When he pulls back, laughing a little, he’d look at you with that adorable grin of his, completely charmed by your cuteness. “You’re cute for asking like that, though,” he’d say, shaking his head. Because, really, how the hell did you get so cute, and how are you making him feel this flustered over something so simple?! You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, and he knows it.

Dino: Okay, can we just talk about how freaking excited Dino would get? He’d practically bounce in place, heart eyes and filled with excitement, as if you just offered him a lifetime supply of ice cream. It’s honestly ridiculous, and you’d probably start laughing at his reaction, which would make him even more fluffy. He’d lean in quickly, planting an exaggerated kiss on your lip. “You’re the cutest thing ever!” he’d shout, and you’d barely have time to process before he’s back again, giving you another kiss, this time on the cheek, because he can and also, he’s obsessed with how you look when you ask. Dino would be so so fuzzy.

[luvtowa]

the little things pt 1

content: tokyo debunker ghouls x gn! reader, suggestive content. warnings: nsfw, bordering on smutty content. various sexual and non-sexual turn ons, vivid descriptions. [vagastrom edition]

summary: what turns the ghouls on

note: do lmk if you want longer versions of these :) also! do you want the jabberwock version first or the hotarubi version first? divider by @cafekitsune !!

— alan: gentle touches

alan is a the softest man you know

and that’s only after you get through his tough-man persona

but that never stopped you from being kind or gentle with him

alan knows he’s strong, even for a ghoul

which is why he’s scared to touch you

but you?

you were never scared to touch him

he doesn’t say it but he loves it when you touch him

holding his hand, intertwining your fingers, ruffling his hair, caressing his cheeks

alan gets so turned on when you touch him as if he’s the most fragile thing on earth

he feels so terrible whenever you treat him with such kindness

because all he can think about is shoving his thick cock into you

that starts a whole escapade of him avoiding you at all cost

whenever you visit the pit, he’s not there

it’s gotten to the point where leo is now teasing you whenever you pop by

‘looking for your himbo boyfriend?’

well, he wasn’t entirely wrong

after two weeks of having alan avoid you, you decided you’ve had enough

alan may have been a ghoul, but you had a secret weapon

enter tohma ishibami

he promises to help you snag alan

only for the small price of running an errand in hotarubi for him

easy task, you’ve dealt with worse (sinostra)

after completing your task, tohma promised he’d get alan for you

he never clarified how, though

so when you return to the chapel and see tohma and alan, you nearly laugh

“oh, m-mc”

he’s flustered and stuttering, looking to tohma for answers

you exchange pleasantries with the frostheim ghoul before he leaves

and you use your body to block the door (even though alan could easily move you)

alan knows he’s fucked

he doesn’t say anything. he’s ashamed.

“did i do something wrong? did i hurt you in any way?”

he winces at the sound of your voice. he can tell you’re hurt

and he can’t blame you

“i’m sorry”

his voice is low and you can tell he’s being genuine

you reach up and stroke his cheek gently before moving your hand up to play with his hair

your other hand is rubbing circles on his bruised knuckles

alan’s self control is ripping at the seam and is about to burst

the silence overwhelms him and he’s sure you never want to speak to him again

he’s about to find out how wrong he is

“i always knew you weren’t as tough as you portrayed yourself to be”

alan’s eyes snap open at your comment and he turns to look at you

the man is confused by your expression

your small smirk, the confidence in your eyes, an eyebrow arched cockily

he’s blushing like a tomato at the sight of you (he’s more turned on than ever by your confidence)

“look at you, alan”

the ghoul’s mind is racing as he looks at your finger pointing down

oh shit shit shit shit shit shit-

“i’m sorry, mc” his voice is suddenly higher as he squeezes his thighs together

he’s surprised by your deep chuckle

“don’t apologise. i love seeing you try to hide your boners from me”

you tilt his head up, making him look at you as his eyes widened, cock stiffening even more in his pants

moving your hand down, you cup it gently as alan lets out a soft moan

chuckling, you let your fingers move against it, reveling at the sight of his scrunched up face, tossed back from the pleasure

but it was his low groans that made you go absolutely insane

tongue swiping across your lips, plan inhales sharply as you lean down, whispering in his ear

“i’m going to have so much fun with you”

— leo: insulting him

you and the vagastrom vice captain do NOT get along

and everybody can see that

well, more like they can hear it

“if you’re going to be useless, why bother coming along”

“get your head out of your ass, kurosagi”

yall didn’t even try to get along anymore

you barely tolerated each other

most of the time, you were simply insulting each other ‘subtly’

or not so subtly

sometimes, his actions didn’t reflect his words and you hated it

“c’mon, honor roll, don’t you want to get an exclusive night of fun with me?”

you looked down at him

his eyes were sparkling under the bright lights of his room, cheeks flushed as he batted his eyelashes

his hair was wet, a towel wrapped around his waist. you were both in quite the provocative position

leo’s attempt at seducing you would’ve worked with anyone else

anyone else

you scoff

“keep dreaming”

the door slams shut as you leave

unbeknownst to you, leo’s cock was rock hard under his towel

hiding it from you just turned him on even more

god, he fucking loved it when you were mean to him

the spite in your voice, venom dripping from every word the way you glared at him, with pure hatred and disgust

he loved it all

it made him so horny

the tower slipped off his waist, milky white skin now exposed

along with his hard, red cock

the cold air made leo shiver as he wrapped his fingers around the base and started stroking

he envisioned the way you’d look at him if he got caught

oh god, that thought just made him so much more excited

‘wow, kurosagi, you’re really fucking filthy. a fucking disgusting whore’

leo moaned loudly, pre-cum leaking from the head of his cock

he’s so immersed in the thought of you catching him masturbating

that he doesn’t hear you actually catch him masturbating

you had accidentally left a package romeo had tasked you to pick up

and god, you did not need his pompous ass complaining today

you obviously had not intended to walk in on him

but boy, were you glad you did

“y/n, y/n, please!”

leo moaned your name, arching his back as he started stroking his cock even faster

the grin that slowly spread across your face was evil

diabolic, even

after another thirty-or-so seconds of you standing in the shadows, you decide it’s time to reveal yourself

you cleared your throat loudly, so he could hear it over his own moans

his head snapped towards you

“what the fuck? y-you pervert!”

leo’s stuttering only makes you laugh

“really don’t think you’re in the situation to be calling me a pervert”

you approach him slowly, chuckling at the fear in his eyes

and the way his cock was twitching, leaking pre-cum at the sight of you

before he can protest, you have him pinned down to the bed

leo’s eyes widen as you straddle him

you giggle, grinding against him as he bit his lip, suppressing his sweet whimpers

“i’m going to use you like the fucking toy you are, kurosagi”

his cock twitch against you, but the egotistical grin on his face burns the insatiable fire inside you

“try me, honour student”

— sho: flirting/banter

sho was one of the sweetest ghouls you’d met in darkwick

so that’s why people would always find you with him if you weren’t at jabberwock or hotarubi

he loved to tease you, and you loved to tease him

it’s a thing between the both of you— banter, if that’s what you’d call it

you enjoyed it, the back and forth with sho, knowing that there was no malicious intent behind either of your words

sho enjoyed it too

but not in the way you did

he didn’t know why, but he’d get so turned on when you gave him a witty or flirty response

somebody to 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴, one would say

it was just another afternoon for you both

lunch hour had just passed so you were helping sho clean up the food truck (totally not skipping classes)

“you didn’t have to do this, senpai”

you roll your eyes at his words

“i know, but i now have an excuse to skip class”

the wink you send him has his breath catch in his throat

he turns away, trying to hide the blush on his face

“not being a very honourable honour student, are you?”

you shoot him a look

“what can i say? rules are meant to be broken at times”

sho chuckled, shaking his head

“oh yeah? and when’s that? when classes on anomalous anatomy are being held?”

you grin at the boy

“nah. it’s only applicable when i get to hang out with a cutie like you”

oh god

he’s as red as the tomato in his hand

he clears his throat, trying to regain his composure

“and i thought you were the more mature one here, senpai”

you laugh at his words

“oh, baby, i am”

the pet name completely throws him off-guard

‘baby’? he hasn’t heard that one yet

oh god, he can feel himself getting harder and it’s gonna be a problem

“uh, i think i’m good now, senpai. you should return the class”

you glance over your shoulder

“trying to get rid of me now?”

he shakes his head, cheeks flushed

“n-no! wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with professor hyde now…”

he chuckles nervously

you turn around fully, arching an eyebrow

“you know your brother wouldn’t care, sho”

sho refuses to meet your gaze which further heightens your curiosity

“are you hiding something from me?”

“n-no!”

his exclamation only confirms your suspicions and a sly grin makes it way to your face

you circle around the counter, watching as sho backs away

his reactions are throughly amusing to you

it was very entertaining

“c’mon, pretty boy. what’re you hiding from me, hm? no need to be scared, i don’t bite”

he inhales a sharp breath, backing against the wall, trapped

“unless you want me to, that is”

sho whimpers under his breath

“oh? what’s this we have here?”

you glance down to the very obvious tent in his pants

sho is beyond embarrassed at this point, but the look in your eyes

the look in your eyes turns him on even more than he already is

the way you glance down at his lips, before looking back at him– it drove him crazy

“can i?”

your voice is soft, with a hint of cheekiness in it

he nods and you don’t hesitate

before he knew it, your mouth was on his, hand on his crotch

he was moaning into the kiss, hands wrapping around your neck

god, he loved how you kissed him like a starved man

air was becoming a problem, so you had to pull away, breathless

sho’s hair stuck to his forehead, bandana slowly slipping off as he panted, cheeks flushed

and his eyes– god, his eyes

his eyes begged for you to continue

licking your lips, you grin at the ghoul

“close the truck. i need to fuck you right now”

[katelynnwrites]

you're taking me out of the ordinary | lea schüller

warnings: ~

word count: 1353

summary: the day after lea drunkenly confesses her feelings for you

a/n: only took me 490 days but here is the part two to my tears ricochet. thank you to those people who've been ever so patiently waiting for this, i love you.

the morning light filters weakly through your curtains. the soft glow of it casts across your bedroom, illuminating the sleeping woman beside you. lea looks so peaceful now, her expression a sharp contrast to what it was last night.

reaching out, you let your fingers gently brush over her hair. you’ve never really been this close to her before, never really noticed how she has lighter streaks in her blonde hair that the sun catches on.

she’s curled tightly into you and for a long moment, you’re content to just be.

but then lea’s lips part and the softest of sighs slips out. you freeze, wondering if she’s about to wake.

your question is soon answered when she stirs a second later. her brows furrow and then her eyes flutter open.

you’re greeted by a familiar blue. one that quickly clouds with confusion.

it’s very telling the exact moment lea remembers the events that led to her current circumstance because the adorable sleepiness that she’d woken up with vanishes entirely.

‘oh god.’ she chokes out.

she sits up abruptly, wincing at the sudden movement. her head spins and she fights the urge to throw up.

‘lea-’ you start, sitting upright too but she goes on like she hasn’t even heard you, dragging a hand through her tousled hair.

‘no i shouldn’t have come. i-i never should have said anything. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.’

the striker barely manages to get out the last word and she bites down on her wobbling bottom lip, to stop a sob from spilling forth.

her eyes frantically dart to the door and back down to her lap. she’s absolutely refusing to make eye contact with you.

‘i’m so so sorry.’ she whispers, with the same heartbreaking note.

your chest feels tight with how much you hate seeing her this way. so small and vulnerable, so unlike her usual self.

exhaling, you reach out to grab hold of her trembling hands.

lea stills immediately and then in the tiniest voice you have ever heard, says, ‘please don’t hate me for ruining everything.’

now it’s your turn to want to cry.

‘lea don’t you remember what i said?’

the bayern munich player nods slightly, ‘yeah but i know you only said it because i was being difficult. i was drunk and you had to pacify me somehow.’

her words cut deep. did she really think that?

‘schülli…’

‘no. no. i said things last night. things i didn’t mean to-‘

‘lea.’ you cut in softly.

the blonde in question isn’t listening though, having been far too focused on working herself up again.

sharply pulling away from you, she shakes her head, ‘i was a fucking mess. i came here drunk and just dumped all that on you like a selfish idiot.’

running a hand through her hair again, the german woman groans, ‘god i’m such an idiot.’

you can practically see the way she’s putting her walls up. brick by brick, she’s trying to do so before you can reach across the distance she’s retreating to.

physically she’s right there but emotionally she’s withdrawing into herself. further than you can reach her.

though you’re not going to let that happen.

‘look at me schülli. please just look at me.’ you entreat.

the blonde is shaking and it takes her a long moment but eventually she does but you don’t miss the way her hands clench into fists. like she’s bracing for impact.

despite your instinct to comfort her, to reach out and bridge the gap, you keep your own hands where they are because you don’t want to risk overwhelming her.

not when she’s already looking like she is one wrong sentence away from a panic attack.

in a voice that’s steady and sure, you say, ‘i meant what i said last night. i wasn’t just saying what i thought you wanted to hear. or what would calm you down. i said what’s true.

something flickers in lea’s eyes. hope maybe? it’s gone before you can place it, drowned out by doubt just as quickly as it’d appeared.

the forward is quiet when she murmurs, ‘you don’t have to do this. you don’t have to make me feel better about making a fool of myself. you’re not obliged to pretend.’

you frown, ‘lea i love you.’

she flinches like you’ve burned her.

‘you couldn’t have meant it. not really.’

‘lea-’ you beg, stomach twisting at the pain written on her face.

the blonde pulls away properly now, scrambling to push herself off your bed.

‘stop. just stop. you said what you had to say to keep me from completely falling apart and i get it okay? i was a mess and y-you were being kind. it’s why i-’ lea breaks off, her breaths coming fast and uneven.

she’s on the edge of your bed now and she murmurs, ‘you take care of people. that’s what you do.’

‘schülli stop.’

but lea doesn’t. instead she laughs. a broken hollow sound.

‘it’s okay really, you can stop pretending now. i’ll get over it and we can act like this never happened.’

frustration bubbles up in your chest and you snap, ‘no!’

it’s more forceful and harsh than you intended it to be but has the desired effect on lea who stares at you, caught off guard by your tone.

‘i’m not acting like this never happened. i won’t go back to acting like i don’t love you because i’ve had enough of that.’

you mean it. that’s clear and it is beginning to dawn on the blonde.

very slowly, you reach out, giving lea every chance to pull away should she choose to. but she doesn’t and instead, remains still as you brush your fingertips over her cheek and then cup her face.

the striker’s breath hitches as the tenderness in your gesture and encouraged by that, you use your other hand to tuck loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

with a soft exhale, you murmur, ‘schülli i’ve been in love with you for so long. i only went on dates because i didn’t know you felt the same.’

lea’s lips part slightly like she wants to say something but nothing comes out.

‘i wasn’t trying to hurt you….i just…i thought i was protecting myself by trying to move on.’ you continue.

running your thumb over her cheek again, you drop your hands down into your lap and shakily breathe, ‘i never let myself believe i could have this. have you.’

lea swallows hard and her hands lift up and hover over your wrists fractionally. like she wants to hold on but is afraid to.

you let her decide.

one breath in. one breath out. another breath in. another breath out.

on your third breath, lea makes a decision.

finally, finally her hands settle on your wrists. gingerly and tentatively at first before her fingers curl around your wrists as she tightens her grip.

she can feel your pulse hammering under her very fingertips and she knows now that this is real.

‘you meant it.’ lea whispers.

‘i meant it.’ you nod, echoing the sentiment back.

lea closes her eyes for a moment. as if she’s letting the words sink into her entire being. when she opens them again, they're still that same particular share of blue you’ve always loved. still shining with tears. still a little fragile.

but alight with something intimately soft that you’ve never seen before.

lea offers you a tiny smile and this time, lets you in.

‘no more dates schülli.’

‘no more dates.’

‘just you. only ever you from now on.’ you promise again.

your lea holds onto you and huffs out an emotional laugh. at long last, she relaxes.

then she pulls you close, right till you’re held up completely against her and your breaths mingle in the small space in between.

‘okay.’

just that one faint word before she does what she thinks she’s been waiting her whole adult life to do.

she kisses you.

and it more than lives up to every hope and dream that either of you have ever had.

[manias-wordcount]

Soft Squeezes (Howl Jenkins Pendragon)

Kinktober 2023 Day Four: Fondling

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

It’s always when Howl seems to be at his absolute softest.

  That’s usually when you can expect him to stick his hands underneath the fabric of your dress. 

  Today was one of those days. Not that you were surprised, of course. He was sleepy this morning when you woke him up with the breakfast that you and Calcifer worked to create. He was quiet as he ate, though he answered every one of Markl’s questions with the smallest of smiles on his face. When breakfast was done, he seemed to have floated around the castle. Doing what? You’re not quite sure. There are still parts of Howl that you have to admit as being a mystery still- even to you. 

  But what you do know is that when he crept into your sunroom and picked you up and off the couch to plop you straight down in his lap, you knew you were in for a bit of a distracting reading session. So you didn’t even frown you just barely managed to make it to the end of the chapter. You only settled into him a little more. And you smiled.

  It wasn’t a smile Howl could necessarily see, but you had a feeling he knew it was there. Because all too soon, the long fingers that were tracing the neckline of your dress. Pressing the tips of his nails just barely against any pieces of exposed skin he could get his hands on. Only enough to make you shudder and shiver. And when he noticed the quiet way you fold the top of a page in the book you were trying to read, he didn’t say anymore. He just let out a warm chuckle and let you take your time in placing the book by the side of his lap. And when you finally righted yourself in his lap? Undistracted and oh-so-eager? He finally had the chance to set out and do what he wanted to do ever since wandering in to see you.

  Even so, he started off slow. 

  He still let a finger trace your neckline a few times for good measure. Though his other hand has already just begun gently pressing the pads of each finger just beneath the very top of your dress. At first, the touch was still a little more curious than anything else. But hand tracing your neckline had just wandered down further to cup at your breast from above your clothes. Four fingers had just reacquainted themselves with the size of your chest as they scoped from below and circled around what they could. His thumb came to top it all off as it began to draw small, small circles into you. Something you doubt you would have really noticed if it weren’t for the delicate way he treated you. Even as you fidgeted and squirmed and made all sorts of soft noises as you sat on his lap.

  Speaking of which, you were starting to get a little antsy. And a little bit shy too. A brush against of part of your body that was too sensitive always managed to get a shiver out of you. And the suddenness of a squeeze or a pinch or even a warm kiss to your skin was usually met with a whimper or a gasp pouring freely from your lips. Beneath you, you could feel your lover’s own arousal growing. A stiff, firmness that wasn’t always there is now pressing against your bottom. And if you wonder if it’s because touching you genuinely makes him this excited.

  Or if his body can somehow sense the growing wetness that’s now making a mess of your panties right above him.

  Whatever the reason may be, it doesn’t change the fact that Howl seems more than content with just playing around with your breasts. So content that when his fingers find your nipples hardening from beneath your dress and opts to give it the quickest squeeze that sends you almost jolting out of his lap, he’s quick the grab you with a free hand and keep you rooted in place. 

  “I’m sorry, my dear,” He murmurs into the crook of your neck. His apology is accented by a kiss against your skin as the hand that just grabbed you went from holding at your waist to spreading across the expanse of your tummy and squeezing there as well. The action bunches up your dress a little more than sitting on his lap has already. Not enough to cause major concerns if you were out in public. But just enough to raise some eyebrows now that more of the meat of your thighs was exposed for anyone to lay their eyes upon. But you know that’s now what Howl’s most interested in. Because if he was…. “You know I just couldn’t help it.”

  …then why would he be so focused on pulling down the top of your dress and letting your breasts fall free from the clothes that once confined them?

  And even though you know he’s doing this all for his own enjoyment and pleasure, there’s a certain feeling of embarrassment that overtakes you as you watch your chest become more exposed and bounce freely now that they’ve been revealed to all of the sunroom. But Howl doesn’t allow you for a moment to let that shyness dwell within you. It seems as if not even a part of his agenda or factored into his fantasy. No, because before you can even really blink, the hand that is not grabbing at your body and keeping you pressed against him is now spreading against your chest and grabbing. Squeezing. Feeling. Touching. Anything. Everything.

  And upon his lap, you’re left squirming and shaking. Whimper and whining. Gasping out and breathing deeply as the fabric of your dress pools around you. But behind your every reaction is a man giving into his earthly temptations. A man taking the same hands that once brushed against your pebbled nipples tenderly and turning them into hands that tug and roll the sensitive little point between two nimble fingers. A man taking the same hands that gently cupped and drew shapes along your skin and turning them into hands that give a little lift just to let fall. Or to squeeze just hard enough for him to hear your voice as you sing in surprise. Or to play and play and play with all that he can touch and all that he can feel and all that he can see.

  And he’ll be like this for hours. He’ll sit you on his lap and let your dress hang off your body. Leaving you half naked and all his to play with. He’ll run his fingers against your skin. He’ll be gentle and sweet. And maybe take a quick turn to poke and prod at your limits. But you’ll never have to worry about him being a little too rough with your precious body. Because on the inside and out, you know that the man you’re dealing with is a soft, soft man. A man who just so happens to want only one thing.

  And it just so happens that his hands are the absolute perfect size to enjoy that very thing.

[444eggnog]

Light-Up Shoes to Wedding Shoes

✍︎: i’ve always imagined Oscar as a very hands on girl dad, gentle, soft-spoken, the kind who tears up at school plays and keeps crayon drawings in his desk. and i’ve always wanted to write an AU using this song… what better way to capture its quiet beauty than through the story of Oscar and his daughter? 

This one’s for the tender moments:

The wedding. The flashbacks. The tears he swears he’s not crying.

this will probably be my last AU for a while (okay, maybe just a few weeks lol) because uni is absolutely beating me up right now. nonetheless, i hope you enjoy this one; it’s extra special to me. ♡

content: fluff, Oscar as a girl dad, wedding, flashbacks, soft crying, full heart 

wc: 6.1k (I'm so sorry, I got carried away...)

The First Time I Held You…

Oscar held tightly onto his wife’s hand, whispering encouragements as she pushed through the pain of labor. It had been a difficult pregnancy, filled with worry, sleepless nights, and quiet fear he never let her see. He was terrified. But the moment their daughter’s first cries pierced the air, all that fear melted away.

Tears welled in his eyes as the doctor gently placed the baby on his wife’s chest. He couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe. She was beautiful, soft features, a tiny button nose, a mix of them both. Somehow brand new, yet already the most important person in his life.

Later, in the quiet of their hospital room, Oscar hesitated when the nurse offered to let him hold her. She looked so small, too fragile, like the world might break her if he wasn’t careful. But his wife gave him an encouraging nod and smiled. You can hold her, Osc.

So he did.

He cradled his daughter with trembling arms, heart pounding in awe. A smile tugged at his lips as he leaned in and whispered the softest “Hi,” like she was a secret only he got to keep.

In that moment, something shifted inside him.

He’d thought he knew what love was. But now he understood something deeper. He would do anything to protect her. No one would ever hurt her, not if he had anything to say about it. He’d never let her cry, never let her feel alone.

And if someone did hurt her? Well, he wouldn’t end them, but he’d think about it.

The Very First Walk

It happened one lazy afternoon.

Oscar was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, toy blocks scattered around him, watching his daughter as she clung to the edge of the couch like it was the only thing keeping her upright. Her legs were still wobbly, soft knees locked with determination, curls bouncing every time she shifted her balance.

She’d been practicing for days. Holding onto furniture. Testing her limits, then sitting down with a soft thud like she needed a break from trying so hard.

But today felt different.

Oscar held out his hands, close but not quite touching.

“Alright, bub,” he murmured gently. “You ready?”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, uncertain but curious. Then slowly, cautiously, she stepped away from the couch. Her little hand reached for his finger, gripping tight like she trusted it, like she always would.

One step.

Then another.

Oscar walked slowly, backward, matching her rhythm. Guiding. Not rushing. Just being there.

“Good job,” he whispered. “Look at you.”

Her grip loosened.

She kept going.

And Oscar, heart lodged somewhere between awe and ache, let her hand slip from his.

She kept walking.

Tiny steps. Wobbly legs. Arms out like wings.

He didn’t catch her this time. Didn’t rush forward or steady her.

He just stayed close, watching.

Letting go, but never far.

When she finally plopped onto the floor with a surprised laugh, he dropped beside her, scooping her up in a hug that felt too big for such a small moment, but it wasn’t. Not to him.

“You did it,” he whispered into her curls. “You walked.”

His wife peeked from the hallway. “Is she walking already?”

“Just now,” Oscar said, still grinning. “We walked together.”

His daughter giggled in his arms, cheeks flushed, tiny fists tugging at his hoodie string like it was her prize for getting across the room.

First Birthday

Oscar had no idea why she was so obsessed with Bluey.

Maybe it was the voices. Maybe it was the colors. Maybe it was the way she’d go perfectly still completely entranced whenever the opening theme played. Whatever the reason, he hadn’t even thought twice before choosing it as the theme for her first birthday.

He just wanted to make her happy.

Now, standing in the middle of a sea of blue streamers and balloon dogs, Oscar was panicking. His heart raced, his palms were sweaty, and he’d forgotten where the gift table was, again.

Why had he invited everyone?

Why did he think he could pull this off?

She didn’t even know what a birthday was. She didn’t care if the cake had fondant or if the streamers matched the cups. She just wanted Bluey. And maybe some mashed bananas. 

So he found her, sitting in the middle of a blanket someone had laid out on the grass, hands sticky with frosting, curls a little wild from crawling around too much.

And just like always, the moment he saw her, everything slowed down.

She was clapping off-beat to the music from the speaker, squealing at the screen as Bluey danced with Bingo. Her laugh was loud and messy and perfect, cutting through all the noise in his head. Nothing else mattered.

He crouched beside her, smoothing her hair back from her face. “Happy birthday, bub,” he whispered.

She turned to him with cake smeared across her cheek and a proud little sound that sort of sounded like “dada...”

Oscar’s chest tightened.

She wouldn’t remember this day. Not the balloons, not the presents, not the chaos he’d wrapped himself in trying to make it perfect. But maybe, she’d remember how safe it felt to be in his arms. How he was always there. Always watching. Always loving her more than he ever thought was humanly possible.

He picked her up, ignoring the frosting on her fingers now clinging to his shirt. “I hope you stay weirdly obsessed with this dog show forever,” he said, kissing her cheek. “But even when you’re not, I’ll still be here.”

She giggled and reached for his nose like it was her favorite toy.

And in that moment, Oscar realized he didn’t need to throw the perfect party. He already had the perfect girl.

It's Just 90 Minutes

It was only ninety minutes.

One and a half hours. That’s all.

Oscar had repeated it to himself at least twelve times that morning, pacing the kitchen in mismatched socks while his daughter munched on a banana in her high chair, completely unbothered by the milestone looming over them.

Today was her first day at daycare. Just a trial. Ninety minutes.

Still, it felt like someone had yanked the ground out from under his feet.

She looked so small in her tiny sneakers and oversized backpack. The straps kept sliding off her shoulders, and her curls were tied up in a little puff that wobbled every time she walked. She was fine. Giggling. Pointing at the fish stickers on the daycare windows like it was the most exciting place in the world.

Oscar smiled and waved, crouched next to her as the teacher led her inside.

Then the door shut.

And so did something in his chest.

He made it back to the car. Barely. And sat there in silence, hands frozen on the steering wheel, heart thudding in the kind of rhythm that made his eyes sting.

His wife reached across the center console and gently touched his arm. “Oscar.”

He shook his head quickly. “I’m fine.”

But his voice cracked. And that was it.

His shoulders dropped as the tears spilled over, quiet and frustrated and way more emotional than he wanted to admit. “She’s just a baby,” he whispered. “She’s so little. I’m supposed to be with her, always.”

She squeezed his hand. “You are. She’s just in a different room.”

He gave a watery laugh, wiping at his face like it would erase the truth. “She didn’t even cry. Didn’t even look back.”

“That’s because she’s brave,” his wife said softly. “Like her dad.”

Oscar looked out the window, blinking hard. “It’s just an hour and a half.”

“Yep,” she nodded. “And then you’ll get to tell her how proud you are and give her the biggest cuddle in the world.”

He didn’t answer. Just rested his forehead against the steering wheel, cheeks damp, heart too full.

Because maybe it was just daycare. Maybe it was only ninety minutes. But it was also the first time he’d felt the space where she wasn’t.

And he didn’t like it.

Light-Up Shoes and Rainbow Wishes

By the third day of daycare, Oscar thought he’d gotten the hang of it.

He no longer cried in the car (small victories), and drop-off had gotten smoother, no clinging, no wobbly lip, just a cheerful wave and a distracted “Bye, Daddy” as she toddled inside.

But that afternoon, when he came to pick her up, something was off.

She wasn’t running to him like she usually did. She was sitting cross-legged on the mat, poking at the velcro on her shoes, quiet.

Oscar crouched in front of her, brushing her curls back gently. “Hey, bub. You okay?”

She looked up at him with eyes far too thoughtful for a toddler. “I want fluffy socks.”

His brows lifted. “Fluffy socks?”

“And shoes that light up when I walk.” Her voice got even softer. “And a water bottle bag. Pink. With rainbows. Gemma has one.”

Oscar’s heart cracked a little.

He didn’t care about the socks. Or the shoes. Or the price tag. What got him was that look, that tiny frown she didn’t quite know how to hide yet.

He bundled her into the car, promising they’d stop by the store “just for a look.” What followed was a two-hour quest through three different shops and one online order. He didn’t know where people even found pink water bottle bags with rainbows, but somehow he did.

That night, she tried on her new fluffy socks with pride, stomping around the house to test the lights on her shoes. Her laughter echoed down the hallway like it was made of gold.

Oscar leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching her spin in circles. A soft chuckle slipped out.

“Thirteen bucks for sneakers and she’s acting like she won the lottery.”

He smiled to himself, a little dazed by how much joy something so small could bring.

But then again, so was he.

Almost There

Oscar was cleaning up in the kitchen, humming under his breath, when he heard a soft grunt from the hallway.

He peeked around the corner.

There she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, tongue sticking out in pure concentration, tiny hands wrestling with her favorite pair of shoes.

The light-up ones.

The ones with the glittery pink straps and soles that blinked when she stomped. The ones she’d begged for after daycare because “everyone else had them,” and she wanted hers to be pink with rainbows “not just pink, Daddy, pink with lights.”

She was trying to put them on by herself.

Left foot first. A small pause. Then she adjusted it just so, like she was checking her own work. She beamed, proud.

Then the right foot. A little sideways at first. She frowned. Tried again. Wiggled her toes in.

The lights blinked once, soft, faint, a flicker of magic.

She didn’t know how to fasten the Velcro properly yet, not tightly, not evenly but that didn’t stop her. She mashed the straps down with all the strength in her tiny arms, completely convinced she’d done it perfectly.

Oscar didn’t say a word.

He just stood there, heart climbing up into his throat, watching her figure it out. His little girl. The same one who used to cry when her sock bunched up weird. Now sitting on the floor, shoes slightly off-center, still glowing with each proud little kick of her heels.

She looked up when she noticed him.

“I did it!” she grinned, cheeks pink with effort.

Oscar nodded slowly, voice soft. “Yeah, you did.”

She stood up, the lights in her shoes flashing unevenly, Velcro flapping a little with each step. She held out her hand toward him.

“Help me fix?”

He knelt beside her, fingers gently peeling the straps back, smoothing them down with a care that came straight from his chest. Slower than usual. Deliberate. Letting the moment stretch just a little longer.

“Almost there,” he murmured.

And maybe he meant the shoes.

Or maybe he was just trying to come to terms with the fact that she was growing right in front of him and faster than he was ever going to be ready for.

Her Favorite Superhero

Oscar had pulled up to the school gate like always, sunglasses on, window down, already scanning the sea of backpacks and untied sneakers for the one pair he cared about most.

Usually, she came out running, arms flailing, curls bouncing, talking a mile a minute about story time and snack swaps and who got a time-out today.

But not today.

Today, she walked out slowly. Shoulders low. Her hands were curled around something, crumpling it tighter with every step.

Oscar stepped out of the car the second he saw her face.

Her bottom lip was trembling, eyes pink and glassy like she was trying really hard not to let the tears fall. When she reached him, she didn’t say a word, just wrapped her arms around his legs and pressed her face into his hoodie.

“Hey, bub,” he said, kneeling down beside her. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled. Then carefully, she uncurled her fingers and held out a wrinkled sheet of paper.

It was a drawing. Stick figures and squiggly stars. Her usual style, lopsided but full of love. He could tell instantly who it was meant to be: him, in his racing suit, a cape drawn behind him in bold, wobbly orange. In the corner, a tiny her, holding up a gold medal.

But all across the center, thick, angry black spots were scribbled over the drawing. Like someone had tried to cross it out.

Oscar’s stomach twisted.

“Who did that?” he asked, voice still soft but tighter around the edges.

“Riley,” she mumbled. “The teacher told us to draw our favorite superhero. I drew you.” Her voice cracked, barely above a whisper. “But he said dads can’t be superheroes. And he ruined it.”

Oscar blinked. Hard.

He looked at the page again, imagining her sitting at one of those tiny tables, tongue between her teeth, coloring each little detail just right because she wanted it to be perfect for him.

He pulled her gently into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Hey. You listen to me, yeah?”

She nodded, sniffling.

“That’s the best superhero drawing I’ve ever seen,” he said. “Even better than the rocket ship one. And I’m still putting it on my wall.”

“But it’s all messy now…”

He looked at it again, folding it carefully. “No. It’s not ruined. It’s got battle scars. Makes it cooler. Like the real superheroes.”

She gave a small, watery giggle and curled closer into his chest.

Later, when he buckled her into her seat, she reached between the chairs to hold his hand, her little fingers sticky with crayon smudges. He drove slow on the way home, like the whole world needed to take a breath.

That night, he taped the drawing up right above his desk, scribbles and all.

And underneath it, in her tiny handwriting with a backwards 'S', it said:

For Daddy! My Favorite Superhero!!!

And every time he looked up at it, he smiled. Because no one, not even some kid with a black crayon could take that away from him.

Who’s Got A Crush?

Their little café booth had become tradition. Same place, same order: pancakes with too much syrup for her, black coffee for him. A "father-daughter date," she'd called it once, and the name stuck. He blocked out time every month for it. No calls, no training, no team meetings. Just them.

She was older now, legs swinging off the bench seat, baby teeth gone, ponytail messy in that way that said she didn’t care about neat anymore.

Oscar was mid-sip of his coffee when she said it. Casual. Like it was nothing.

“I think I have a crush on someone.”

He choked. Audibly.

She blinked at him, confused. “Are you okay?”

He coughed into his sleeve, heart stuttering. “Yeah. Yep. Totally fine.”

Crush? She has a crush? On who? Why? Who gave her permission to grow up?

She took another bite of her pancake like she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell. “He’s in my class. He has a dog. And his lunchbox is shaped like a dinosaur, which is really cool.”

Oscar stared at her like she’d announced she was moving out. “That’s... very specific.”

She nodded, matter-of-fact. “I think I’m gonna marry him. Or maybe be a vet. I’m still deciding.”

Oscar gave a weak laugh, setting down his coffee. “Right. Of course.”

She tilted her head. “Why do you look weird?”

“I don’t look weird,” he lied.

Because what was he supposed to say? That his heart just folded in on itself? That hearing those words “I have a crush” felt like someone had turned the page on a chapter he wasn’t ready to end?

He cleared his throat. “Well… whoever he is, he’s very lucky.”

She grinned. “I know.”

He smiled back, trying to hide the ache behind it. Then reached across the table, ruffling her hair the way he always did.

“Just remember,” he said lightly, “you can have crushes and dinosaur lunchboxes and all that. But you’ll always be my girl first.”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile softened.

Later, when she ran ahead to look at the pastry shelf, Oscar sat back and watched her, laughing, confident, growing into herself.

And in that moment, he realized he didn’t need to stop time. He just needed to be there as it moved.

Medals, Caps, and Gowns

Oscar didn’t think he’d cry.

It was just primary school. A short ceremony, small chairs in a sunlit auditorium, kids in too-big uniforms fidgeting in their seats. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

But then they called her name.

She walked up, chin up, ponytail bouncing, the sleeves of her button-down still a bit too long and Oscar felt his throat close.

First medal: Athletics. She’d broken the school’s sprint record. Still said it was “just for fun.” Second medal: Academic Excellence. Oscar’s heart nearly gave out.

Then the third one.

“Most Encouraging Teammate,” the principal announced with a smile. “For her kindness, her endless support, and for cheering louder than anyone else, no matter who was winning.”

Oscar laughed under his breath, wiping at his eyes as his wife handed him a tissue.

Of course.

She stood there, medals glinting, grinning like the stage was the best place on earth. When she caught Oscar’s eyes in the crowd, she gave a tiny wave, subtle, just for him and he swore his heart would never be the same.

After the ceremony, she ran straight into his arms, all laughter and tangled ribbons.

“Three medals,” she said proudly.

“I saw,” Oscar whispered, his voice thick. “You crushed it, bub.”

“I almost tripped on the steps,” she added with a giggle. “But I didn’t.”

He hugged her tighter.

He remembered the first day he dropped her off at daycare. The fluffy socks. The pink light-up shoes. How small she looked walking away.

Now she was tall enough to hang her own medals on the hook by the door.

Growing up, he thought, was just a series of letting go, one handshake, one applause, one medal at a time.But holding her now, still breathless and warm in his arms, he knew: He’d never stop being proud. And he’d never stop being hers.

18th Birthday and a New Face

Oscar stood when they asked him to say a few words.

He didn’t grab a mic. Didn’t tap his glass with a fork. Just stayed where he was, hands loosely tucked into his pockets, shoulders a little hunched, eyes steady on her.

The room quieted.

She was glowing in her dress, surrounded by friends and family and a cake that probably took four hours to decorate. But Oscar only saw her, his girl, the same one who once cried because her sock felt weird, now standing tall at eighteen.

He gave her a small smile. The soft kind. The only-for-her kind.

“Eighteen,” he said. “Feels fast.”

There was a short pause. The kind that always followed when Oscar searched for the words that lived somewhere in his chest but not always in his mouth.

“You’re smart. You’re kind. And you’ve always been... good. You’ve always had this way of making people feel seen. I don’t even think you realise it most of the time.”

Another pause. He shifted a little, the room silent, listening.

“You’ve got a strong head, a stubborn heart, and a laugh that’s way too loud. But it’s you. And I love it.”

He cleared his throat. Not because he was emotional, of course, just… clearing it.

“I’m proud of you,” he said. “Always have been. That’s all.”

Then he sat back down like it was nothing. Like he hadn’t just quietly shattered the room.

And she was already blinking fast to hold back tears, smiling at him like he’d given the greatest speech in the world.

Because to her, he had.

A little later, after the candles were blown out and the room had settled back into music and chatter, she found him standing near the corner, sipping from a paper cup.

“Dad,” she said, tugging gently on his sleeve.

“Yeah?”

She glanced over her shoulder and then back at him. “There’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow.

She bit her lip. “You remember that guy I told you about at our cafe? With the Dino lunchbox?”

Oh. That guy.

Oscar blinked, holding her gaze.

She looked so hopeful. Nervous, too, but sure. And somehow still his little girl, even in heels and lip gloss.

He took a slow breath, then gave her a faint nod. “Alright. Go on, then.”

And she smiled, wide and excited and turned to wave someone over.

Oscar kept his expression neutral.

But inside? Inside, he was already silently evaluating every single thing about this Dino lunchbox boy.

Because even if she was grown now... He still remembered the baby in light-up shoes who once reached for his nose and giggled like it was magic.

And he wasn’t about to hand her heart over to just anyone.

The Drive

The car was quiet.

Not the peaceful kind of quiet they usually shared on long drives. Not the sleepy hum of the engine with music low and snacks in the middle seat. This one felt heavy.

Oscar glanced sideways.

She was curled up against the window, hoodie sleeves pulled over her hands, eyes fixed on the blur of the road. Her suitcase was in the back. Her university acceptance letter still folded neatly in the glove compartment. The city they'd be leaving in the rearview. And a name they hadn’t said since they left the house.

Dino Lunchbox Boy.

He hadn’t brought it up. Wasn’t sure he was supposed to. But it was all over her face, every sigh, every blink too long, every time she picked at the edge of her thumbnail like she used to when she was a kid trying not to cry.

“You okay?” he asked gently, eyes still on the road.

She was quiet for a second. Then gave a tiny nod.

He waited.

Then: “We broke up,” she whispered. “Before I started packing.”

Oscar nodded once, slow and steady. “Because of uni?”

“Yeah. His offer was overseas. Mine’s here.” She cleared her throat. “We tried to figure something out. But it just… didn’t make sense anymore.”

He could hear it in her voice, that quiet kind of heartbreak. The kind that doesn’t shatter, just bruises deep and slow.

She was always so careful with her heart. But she gave it anyway.

“He was a good kid,” Oscar said after a while.

She nodded, wiping the corner of her eye. “Yeah. He was.”

They pulled up to campus not long after, cars unloading, students hugging their parents, dragging duffels and dreams into dorm rooms. He parked in a quiet corner, far enough that it still felt like they had a moment left to themselves.

Oscar helped unload her things. Carried them up the stairs. Let her lead.

When it was all set, bed made, desk neatly stacked, a mug she didn’t really need sitting on the shelf, he paused at the doorway, hands in his pockets.

“You’ll be alright,” he said.

“I know.”

“And if you’re not, that’s okay too.”

She looked at him then. Eyes red, lips trembling, not from Dino Lunchbox anymore, but from this. From goodbye.

Oscar stepped forward and wrapped her in the kind of hug he used to give when she was five and scraped her knee on the pavement. She was taller now. But somehow, she still fit.

“You still call me when you need help opening jars,” he muttered into her hair.

She laughed. “They’re really tight jars.”

He pulled back just enough to kiss the side of her head. “Call me if anything hurts. Doesn’t have to be a jar.”

She smiled. “You’ll come visit?”

“Course I will.”

“And text?”

He raised a brow. “You won’t answer, but yeah.”

She laughed. He memorized it.

Then he walked out of her room. And for the first time since she was born, he left without her.

The One

She graduated on a hot, cloudless day.

The kind of heat that clung to the back of your neck and made dress shoes feel like punishment. But Oscar didn’t care. He stood in the crowd, sunglasses on, camera in hand, smiling like he was watching the sunrise.

She wore her cap slightly crooked. Medas  tucked into the collar of her gown. That same proud, unshakable grin she’d worn her whole life like she knew exactly who she was and wasn’t about to shrink for anyone.

He swore she looked taller up on that stage. Braver, too.

After the ceremony, she came bounding through the crowd, arms wide, tossing her cap somewhere behind her as she crashed into his chest.

Oscar caught her with a laugh and held on tight. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered into her hair.

“Even in this heat?” she teased, voice muffled by his shirt.

“Even if I melt into the pavement.”

Later that night, their house was filled, family packed into every corner, laughter echoing off the kitchen tiles, cupcakes half-eaten and champagne corks missing. She looked radiant, floating between people like she belonged in every room.

Then she walked in with someone at her side.

He was tall. Pressed shirt. Neatly combed hair. Shoes that looked too clean for this house. He stood close, but not too close. Hands carefully folded in front of him, like he was afraid to touch anything without permission.

Oscar straightened instinctively.

“This is Jack,” she said, her voice light. Then, with a smirk, “I think he’s the one.”

Oscar blinked.

The one? She’d never said that before.

“I like the name,” she added, nudging Jack with her elbow.

Jack smiled nervously and offered his hand. “Sir. It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to call me that.”

Jack chuckled, glancing down. “Right. Sorry, Sir.”

He didn’t make eye contact for more than two seconds at a time. But he said thank you when offered a drink. Helped her mom without being asked. Laughed, albeit awkwardly, at her cousin’s awful puns. And when Oscar’s dad started talking about old cars, Jack listened like it was the most important history lesson he’d ever heard.

When she wasn’t looking, Oscar caught him gently tugging her chair in so she could sit. It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t loud.

Just thoughtful.

Later, Oscar stepped outside to get some air. The backyard was quiet now, soft light spilling from the kitchen window, music playing low inside.

Jack found him there, shifting on his feet like he didn’t quite know if he should interrupt.

“Sorry to bother you, sir,” he said “I just wanted to say thank you. For welcoming me. I know… meeting the family isn’t easy, especially on a day like this.”

Oscar studied him.

The stiff posture. The polished shoes, now dusty from the yard. The way he stood up straight but looked down when he spoke. Professional. Polite. Nervous. Trying.

“And I also wanted to clear my intentions,” Jack added, voice more certain now. “I care about her. A lot. And I’m not here to waste her time.”

There was a pause. Oscar looked at him, really looked. The shoes scuffed from the yard. The shirt a little wrinkled now. Still standing up straight, still choosing his words with care. Nervous, but honest.

He didn’t say anything.

Just looked through the window again, at his daughter, cheeks flushed from laughing too hard, joy tucked into every corner of her.

Then he nodded.

“Good,” Oscar said. “That’s all I need.”

Jack let out a breath, relieved and a little stunned. “Thank you, sir. I mean Mr. Piastri. Sorry.”

Oscar cracked the smallest smile. “You’ll figure it out.”

He watched as Jack headed back inside, slipping beside her naturally, their hands brushing, still not holding, but getting closer.

Oscar stayed out a minute longer, watching through the glass.

She looked happy. Safe. Like someone who’d finally found her way home.

Maybe she had.

The Blessing

It had been a few years since Jack first sat in this kitchen: sweaty palms, dress shirt too stiff, calling him sir like he couldn’t help it.

Not much had changed.

Jack was still Jack. Still a little too polite, still a little too nervous around Oscar. But he had settled into himself more now. His hair wasn’t gelled to perfection, and he didn’t panic when the dog jumped on him. He laughed easier. Fit into the family noise like he belonged there.

But today he was quiet again.

He sat at the table with both hands folded in front of him, back straight, eyes flicking between Oscar and his wife like he was preparing for a formal boardroom pitch. The air was soft, late afternoon light spilling through the windows, mugs half-full on the table. Their daughter was out.

Jack had asked to come by. Said he had something important to talk about.

Oscar had a feeling he knew what.

Jack cleared his throat. “Thank you for having me. I, uh…” He paused. “I just wanted to say thank you. For welcoming me into your home. For trusting me with her.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. His wife smiled faintly.

“I care about her a lot. You know that.” Jack looked between them, more serious now. “And I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t absolutely sure.”

Oscar waited.

“I’m here to ask for your blessing,” Jack said. “Before I propose.”

There was a silence, small, still, and full.

Oscar leaned back slightly in his chair. Studied him. “Big question.”

Jack nodded once, hands a little too tightly clasped now. “I know, Mr. Piastri.”

Oscar glanced at his wife. She gave a tiny, knowing nod.

“She’s a lot like her mum,” Oscar said slowly. “Strong. Stubborn. Smarter than most people in the room.”

Jack smiled. “She is.”

“And she’s not someone you ever take lightly.”

Jack’s voice was quiet. “I don’t.”

Oscar watched him a moment longer, then finally gave the slightest nod.

“Alright, Jack,” he said. “You’ve got our blessing.”

Jack let out a breath, blinking a little like he hadn’t been sure he’d get that far. “Thank you, sir. I—I really appreciate it.”

Oscar’s wife reached across the table and gave Jack’s hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re proud of her. And we’re glad she has someone who sees how special she is.”

Jack’s voice cracked just a little. “I do. I really do.”

As Jack stood to leave, jacket folded over one arm, Oscar walked him to the door.

“Jack,” he said quietly, just before the boy opened it.

Jack turned.

“You can drop the sir, you know.”

Jack gave a sheepish smile. “I’ll try, Mr. Piastri.”

Oscar just shook his head, lips twitching into the faintest smirk. “Close enough.”

And with that, Jack left, heart thudding, a ring in his pocket, and a quiet kind of peace blooming in his chest.

Oscar stood at the door a moment longer, hand resting on the frame.

His little girl was really getting married.

And somehow, he was okay with it.

Wedding Shoes

Oscar’s phone buzzed once.

Then it rang, shrill and familiar.

He didn’t even look at the screen before answering. “Hey, bub.”

Her voice came through, a little breathless. “How do you feel about closed-toe heels?”

Oscar blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“For the wedding,” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Do I go with something classic? Or like, a block heel? Or maybe flats, since the ceremony’s outside…”

He leaned back in his chair, the warmth of the afternoon sun spilling through the kitchen window, one arm resting on the table.

It hit him quietly, without fanfare, without warning.

Once, when she was three, she cried because her light-up sneakers didn’t match the color of her hair clips. He’d spent forty-five minutes convincing her that Bluey would totally wear mismatched shoes.

Those sneakers had cost thirteen pounds and lit up every time she stomped on the ground like a dinosaur. He remembered the sound, the way her tiny feet would race across the floor, squeaky, chaotic, full of life.

And now she was asking him about wedding shoes.

There was a lump in his throat he didn’t quite expect.

“You there?” she asked, soft again.

He cleared his throat gently. “Yeah. Still here.”

“So? Closed-toe or open?”

He smiled, eyes crinkling at the edges. “Whichever one lets you dance properly. You’ve got terrible balance in heels, remember?”

She laughed. “Rude.”

“True.”

There was a pause. Then her voice softened. “Thanks, Dad.”

“For what?”

“For still picking up on the first ring.”

He didn’t answer right away.

Because the truth was, he always would. No matter what. No matter how far, how grown, how busy life got. If she called, he’d answer.

Always on the first ring.

And she knew that. Somehow, she still knew that.

“You’ll look beautiful,” he said finally. “Doesn’t matter what’s on your feet.”

She smiled through the phone. He could hear it.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, bub.”

The call ended, but Oscar didn’t move. Not right away.

He just sat there, thinking about sneakers and wedding shoes, mashed bananas and wedding cakes, night lights and aisle lights.

She wasn’t little anymore.

But she still needed him.

And somehow, that was enough.

The Most Important Walk

The music had started. Soft, distant, barely there beneath the rustle of satin and the flutter of nerves.

Oscar stood beside her, just out of sight from the waiting aisle. His hand rested gently on hers, not leading, not pulling, just there. Like it always had been.

She adjusted her bouquet, breath coming out in small, uneven huffs. She looked radiant, hair pinned just the way her mum used to do it, dress flowing like water, eyes wide and shining.

But beneath the shimmer of highlighter and lace, she was still his little girl.

Oscar leaned in slightly.

“You okay?”

She gave a shaky smile. “Nervous.”

He nodded, soft. “That’s alright.”

Then he waited a beat.

And in the quiet before the doors opened, he gently asked, “Is this what you want?”

She looked up at him. Like she had so many times before. Like when she scraped her knee and didn’t want anyone else to clean it. Like when she forgot her lines in the Year 6 play and scanned the crowd just to find him. Like when she called wedding shoes and asked if he thought she was doing the right thing.

And now, here.

She nodded. Steady, certain. “Yeah. It is.”

Oscar’s throat tightened. He offered his arm. “Then let’s go.”

The doors opened slowly, light spilling in like the world was holding its breath.

Everyone turned.

And she stepped forward, not alone. Never alone.

Oscar walked beside her, not just down the aisle, but through every memory stitched into her stride. He could still hear the echo of her tiny feet running through the house. Still see the frosting smudged across her cheek on her first birthday. Still feel her fingers tugging his sleeve that one morning when she cried because a classmate ruined her superhero drawing.

Now her steps were steady.

And he only let her hand slip from his when it was time.

He kissed her forehead, whispered something only she would hear, something like I love you, something like you’ve got this, something like I’ll still pick up on the first ring.

Then he stepped back, hands in his pockets, sunglasses hiding everything he couldn’t say.

She turned to face the rest of her life.

And Oscar… He smiled.

Because she was exactly where she was meant to be.

[kaechu1]

rubs hands together… black swan x gn/fem reader? how black swan would act if she was interested in someone in the dream scape or js general dating hcs!! sorry i love her

black swan dating headcanon!

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ note: SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!!

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ warning: non

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ content: yandere-ish kinda of act, mentioned of stalking, kinda toxic behavior in general.. kisees, touch starved swan, jealousy a little. cheesy reader.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 even way before you two got together, black swan always had her eyes on you, following you everywhere without your knowledge, to keep you safe of course!

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she always look into your memory to know everything about you, who's your friends, the people you care about. and who you like someone? too bad she's not keeping that <3

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you ever fall sleep on her or near her she'll always stay still admiring your sleeping face, to her you're the most beautiful memory she has.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she loves eyes contact, love admiring your beautiful eyes as they were the most beautiful gems in dreamscape.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 just like swans, black swan see you as her partner for life. it's either you or no one. so she'll always make sure nothing happened to you, nothing.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she has glass stained art of you two being together and holding hands in her room, she also has small stained glass art of you, taking it with her everywhere to remember you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh you miss her? don't worry! just one thought about her and poof she's here right in front of you! how did she know that? don't worry about that.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she always read positive tarots of you, even if you didn't ask or felt like your day is going down, she'll always be there to assure you everything will be fine!

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "see dear! this one says you're adorable, and this one says you're the most beautiful gem in dreamscape, oh! and this one says we're meant to be together forever!" "babe, those are just pictures of me..."

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she'll call you sweet and elegant petname: darling, dear, my gem, my flower, the list go on.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 you call her swany and you're the ONLY one that allowed to call her that, if others dare to call her that she'll just side-eye them before saying things like "only my darling can call me that"

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's the best when it come to gifts! oh you want flowers? don't worry she'll make a whole banquet made of glass stained flowers, they're so beautiful and shin so bright to match your eyes and bright-ful smile!

ᯓᡣ𐭩 her touched are always the softest and the nicest, when she's holding your face it's like a swan wrapped their wings around you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she loves body contact, she'll hold your hand any time she can. or even better hold your face, her favorite moments.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she love kissing your forehead or hands, it absolutely her favorite places to kiss, so whenever she need to leave she'll at least kiss you twice before actually leaving. and she'll kiss you again after coming back.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's not the jealous type but she's not afraid to step in of someone were way too comfortable for her liking.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "i see you got your eyes on them? my dearest [name]. yea quite the precious gem, they're so beautiful aren't they? well this one is my beloved to uphold, so keep your distance"

ᯓᡣ𐭩 as much as she would like, she doesn't go far through your memories, specially if you ask her too. yes she want to know everything about you. but she'd rather you telling her, trusting her enough with a deep memory in your head rather than just finding it herself.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she had your number saved on every burner phone she has, with different necknames on each of one.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 whenever she's away for long she'll always text you, asking about you and how much she misses you.

[ghostlynightpanda]

Hey! I'm here again to request another Ranpo× reader since I adore your writing so much the last two times I requested! Yet again, sorry for bad english lol

This might be a little specific, since I did înspre it from my bsd oc, so you can ignore it! I would totally agree! The reader is part of the ADA and has an ability based on their voice (I called it "A long forgotten song", but idk if it matters lol). With their ability, when they close their eyes and sing, even something as simple as a hum, if it is within earshot, the person that can hear them will freeze. The thing is, reader here actulay has a great singing voice! They loved singing since they were young, but due to freezing people constantly and even harming some by accident by it, they refuze to sing and barely talk (when they do, it's short, to the point, and quiet), unless it is for a mission. During missions, when their voice is needed, the agency members plug their ears as to not be affected by accident, so no one actually knows how their voice sounds like. My idea is that, Ranpo being nosy (and if you may, even has a crush on reader), really wants to hear their voice. He does silly stuff like try and scare them or surprise them to make them speak louder. He would try and talk constantly with them, and they always listen. They even take notes of what others say on ocasion if they think it's important enough. Even so, they barely spoke back. It wasn’t untill Ranpo finely went on a mission with reader that he decided to not plug his ears, just to hear their voice. He didn't care He would ger frozen in place, he just wanted to hear them, and he didn't regret it at all! It was like his little secret– reader had no idea. (I will live it up to you if reader finds out or if it will stay a sweet secret)

HOPE I DIDN'T ANNOY YOU WITH THIS LONG REQUEST, SORRY😭 You are an amazing writer and I bet just as a great person, so I hope you have a great day and take care of yourself!

A Long-Forgotten Song

A/N: This is such a cute idea, thank you for requesting it!

synopsis: You’ve spent years avoiding your own voice, terrified of the power it holds, speaking only when necessary and keeping everyone at a distance. But when Ranpo Edogawa refuses to let your silence be the end of your story, he risks paralysis—just for the chance to hear you.

content/warnings: Ranpo Edogawa x reader, fluff, -3.779 words

The Armed Detective Agency office was rarely quiet, always buzzing with chatter, footsteps, and the occasional crash from someone—usually Dazai—knocking something over. Papers shuffled, keyboards clicked, coffee brewed.

But there was always one place, one person, that stood in still contrast to the noise.

You.

You sat at your desk near the corner window, tucked away where the afternoon sun hit just right. A notebook lay open beside your typewriter, not filled with stories or ideas, but with notes—careful, concise observations on everyone and everything. You listened more than you spoke. In fact, you rarely spoke at all.

And when you did, it was no more than a whisper.

It wasn't that you didn't want to speak. You had so much to say—so many thoughts, so many songs stuck in your head that longed to be hummed or sung aloud. But you knew better.

Your voice was a weapon.

Your ability, A Long Forgotten Song, activated whenever you closed your eyes and let your voice carry. Even the softest hum could freeze someone completely still if they were within earshot. The effect wasn't always harmless—once, someone fell down a flight of stairs because of it. Another time, a teammate had collapsed from the shock of being paralyzed mid-fight.

The guilt had been unbearable.

You were only thirteen then.

Now, you used your ability only when absolutely necessary—and always with strict precautions. On missions, your teammates were instructed to plug their ears with noise-canceling devices the moment you prepared to sing. You kept your eyes closed and your voice short, controlled, clinical.

No one had ever truly heard your voice. Not really. Not for what it was.

They knew the power of it, sure. But not the music. Not the warmth it once held. That part of you had been locked away a long time ago.

Most of the ADA understood. They respected your silence.

Kunikida appreciated your diligence and the careful notes you took. "Efficient," he would say. "Precise."

Atsushi always offered you a kind smile, even if your replies were quiet nods.

Yosano was gentle, almost motherly. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to," she told you once over tea. "But if you ever feel like it, I'd love to hear you sing."

Even Dazai left you alone most of the time—though you suspected it was more out of boredom than respect.

But then there was Ranpo.

Ranpo Edogawa was… different.

Where others tiptoed around your silence, Ranpo strolled right into it, loud and unapologetic. He talked to you like you were just as chatty as him, telling you stories about snacks he found or mysteries he solved in the time it took him to finish a bag of candy.

At first, you thought he just didn't realize you wouldn't answer.

But no—he did realize. He just didn't care.

"Hey, hey. You're always writing stuff down, right?" he'd said one day, flopping down next to you and sliding a wrapped candy your way. "That means you're listening. So I'll just keep talking until you say something. Eventually, you have to say something, right?"

You didn't. Not really.

But the way your pen paused when he said something interesting? The subtle glance his way when he sat too close? He noticed.

Ranpo was observant to the point of being infuriating. And nosy. Painfully nosy.

He started doing things—popping up behind you, clapping his hands near your ear, faking yelps of pain just to see if you'd react. You never did, at least not with words. Just a blink, a sharp breath, a narrowed eye.

Still, that didn't stop him.

You weren't sure if it was a game to him or not.

But sometimes, when you caught him watching you too long, eyes soft and curious, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—he was trying to see the person behind the silence.

The part of you that used to sing.

Today it started with a paper crane. At first, you thought someone had just left it on your desk by mistake. It was folded with surprising care, its wings slightly uneven, and on its side was a scribbled message in green pen:

"Bet you can't guess who made this."

You picked it up and blinked. A second later, another landed with a soft flutter beside it. Then another. You turned your head.

Ranpo was standing across the room, crouched behind a filing cabinet, hurling paper cranes with the worst stealth you'd ever seen.

He froze the moment you spotted him, then slowly rose like a cartoon villain caught mid-heist.

"Damn," he said loudly, "I was sure the third one would go unnoticed. You're too sharp, Y/N." He smirked and walked over, waving his hand like he hadn't just been pelting you with origami. "Did you read the note?"

You held the first crane up, expression flat.

"Pretty good, right?" He leaned in, squinting at you. "Any guesses?"

You pointed to him with the crane and raised an eyebrow.

Ranpo's face lit up like you'd handed him a medal. "See? I knew you were paying attention. You're way more fun than Dazai's crossword puzzles."

You slid open a drawer, carefully placed the crane inside, and went back to your notes. No reply. Just a calm return to the rhythm you knew best.

Ranpo leaned against your desk. "So," he said. "Why don't you ever talk to me?"

That made your fingers pause.

Not for long—only a second—but he noticed.

"I mean," he went on, a little more gently this time, "you talk when you have to, on missions. I've heard the recordings. But it's always so... mechanical. Like you're afraid to say anything wrong. You're not a robot. You're a person."

You didn't look at him. Your pen scratched faintly on the page as you wrote something and slid it his way.

"I am afraid."

Ranpo blinked. He read the note, then looked at you. "Afraid of what? Hurting someone?"

You nodded once. Slowly.

He sighed through his nose, running a hand through his hair. "You know, I'm kind of a genius." He leaned closer, grinning. "If I thought you'd hurt me, I wouldn't be standing here, would I?"

You gave him a Look.

"…Okay, maybe I would, but still! It'd be worth the risk." He tapped your notebook. "Just saying. People want to hear you. I want to hear you."

You shook your head and reached for another file. But he wasn't done.

"Alright," he said, cracking his knuckles. "If you won't talk on your own... I'll just have to make you."

You froze.

Slowly, you turned back toward him. Your expression said Please don't do anything stupid. Not more than you already do.

Ranpo smiled like that was exactly what he was about to do.

You should've known something was up when he offered to grab you coffee the next morning.

Ranpo didn't get coffee for anyone unless bribed. But there he was, handing you your usual—perfectly made—and waiting far too eagerly for you to take a sip.

You narrowed your eyes and smelled the cup.

Nothing odd. Just your regular order. You took a cautious sip. It tasted fine. Suspiciously fine.

Ranpo was staring at you.

"…What?" you mouthed silently.

He beamed. "Nothing. Just waiting to see if you'd make a happy noise."

You stared at him.

"C'mon," he said, bouncing on his heels. "You know, like an 'mmm' or something. You have to admit, that was the best coffee you've had this week."

You said nothing.

Ranpo groaned dramatically and slumped across your desk. "You're killing me, Y/N. At this point, I'll take any sound. A sigh. A yawn. A sneeze!"

You reached for your notepad and scribbled: "If I sneeze, you'll probably turn to stone."

He snorted, clearly delighted. "You know, that's the closest thing to a joke I've ever gotten out of you. Progress!"

You allowed the faintest quirk of your lips. Barely there. But Ranpo caught it, and the satisfaction in his grin made you shake your head.

Maybe you couldn't speak freely. Maybe you still feared the sound of your own voice.

But Ranpo's antics—ridiculous as they were—felt a little like sunlight creeping under a locked door. Warm. Persistent.

Unwelcome at first.

But maybe not entirely unwanted.

The next bigger incident happened two days later.

The office was unusually calm. Kunikida was buried in paperwork, Dazai had vanished hours ago (likely jumped out the window), and Yosano was humming faintly to herself as she read a medical journal. You were alone at your desk, as usual, head down in your notes.

Ranpo had been quiet all morning, which was suspicious in and of itself.

Too quiet.

You didn't trust it.

Your senses had grown sharp over the years—an instinct born from the need to avoid hurting anyone. You'd learned to monitor everything around you: footsteps, breathing, even the weight of someone's gaze. So when Ranpo finally acted, you should have seen it coming.

But you didn't.

From behind, he suddenly shouted, "BOO!"—a loud, abrupt bark of sound right near your ear, accompanied by the unmistakable snap of a party popper.

You jumped.

Physically jumped.

A sharp inhale hitched in your throat, your heart kicked into your ribs, and your pen slipped from your fingers.

Ranpo grinned like a fox, already backing away with his hands up like, Gotcha!

But even as the startle ran through you, your mouth stayed shut. Not a sound escaped. You didn't even gasp.

Just a full-body flinch… and then a deep, silent breath.

Your shoulders dropped. You blinked at Ranpo slowly.

Then, without a word, you crouched, retrieved your pen, and sat back down, returning to your notes like nothing happened.

Ranpo stared at you.

"Seriously?" he said, exasperated. "That didn't get a single noise out of you?"

You shrugged—one of those little, quiet ones that said 'Yeah, I'm used to worse.'

He blinked, the grin slipping just slightly.

"…You're really used to this, huh?" His voice had lost its playful lilt. It was softer now. Curious. A little... sad?

You didn't answer. You didn't have to.

You saw it in his face—how he noticed the way you'd flinched without reacting, the practiced control in your breathing. How silence had become your second nature. A shield. A habit formed over years of fear and careful restraint.

And yet, for all of that... Ranpo didn't back off. Didn't give up. He just tilted his head and said, "I'm gonna get you to say something one day. A real word. A real voice. I swear it."

You looked up at him, a little tired, a little amused.

You scribbled a note and passed it over.

"Good luck."

He read it. Then smiled.

The assignment came through late in the afternoon.

It was supposed to be simple: track down a rogue ability user hiding in the industrial district. In and out. Surveillance and backup only—unless things got messy.

Which, of course, they always did.

Kunikida briefed you both quickly. "We have reason to believe the suspect can disorient opponents with illusions. If the intel is right, you may need to use your ability for crowd control, Y/N. Don't engage unless necessary."

You nodded. Calm, composed. You could feel Ranpo's eyes flick toward you.

"I'll go with Y/N," he announced casually. "We make a good team, don't we?"

Kunikida frowned. "You hate fieldwork."

"Yeah, but I love being right," Ranpo said with a grin, already grabbing his coat. "Besides, Y/N's too quiet. Someone has to keep the mood up."

You shot him a look.

He winked.

The car ride was quiet at first.

You were in the backseat of a taxi, tapping lightly on your phone screen while Ranpo hummed something tuneless under his breath beside you. The city passed by in a blur of fading golden light, and every now and then he'd glance your way, like he expected you to say something.

Of course, you didn't.

Eventually, you turned the phone toward him with a short message typed out:

Don't do anything reckless. If I have to sing, it could paralyze you—or worse. Don't forget your earplugs.

Ranpo leaned closer to read the screen, his expression unreadable for a second. Then he gave a lazy thumbs-up and flashed a crooked smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I've got them. I'm not Dazai, I'm not completely suicidal."

He dug into his coat pocket and pulled out a small black case, flicking it open with exaggerated flair to reveal the pair of sleek custom-fit plugs. "See? Right here. I'll put them in if things go bad, promise."

You stared at him, unconvinced.

He sighed dramatically, nudging your shoulder with his own. "Hey, I'm serious. I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

You raised an eyebrow.

"…Okay, maybe a little stupid," he amended, "but not deadly stupid. I've got too much candy left to eat before I die."

Despite yourself, you let out a soft exhale—almost a laugh, but not quite. Ranpo caught the shift in your shoulders and gave you a quick side glance, his grin turning softer. Quieter.

"Trust me, Y/N. If it comes down to it, I'll do what I'm supposed to."

You nodded slowly, eyes drifting back to the road.

And yet…

You couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something. That little flicker behind his words. That kind of calm someone only had when they'd already made up their mind.

He had made up his mind.

Ranpo never said it out loud—but the moment he found out he'd be alone with you on a mission, he decided.

If he got the chance to hear your voice—really hear it—he was going to take it.

Even if it meant freezing for a few minutes. Even if you never found out. Even if you were furious later.

He just wanted to know what it sounded like when you weren't terrified of your own power. He wanted to know the voice hidden behind all that silence. The one you'd been locking away for years.

His little secret.

The old warehouse loomed ahead, half-sunk in rust and shadow. The air inside was stale—heavy with dust and metal and something else, something off. You and Ranpo moved in cautiously, quiet footfalls echoing across the concrete floor.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket—confirmation from the team that the suspect's ability was active nearby. That meant illusions. Trickery. The moment your surroundings started to shift, you'd have to act.

Ranpo adjusted his glasses and muttered, "Smells like something's about to go wrong. You feel it too, don't you?"

You nodded once, slow. Eyes scanning the dark.

Then it hit.

The world around you twisted like a heatwave, and suddenly the room stretched unnaturally wide. Rusted beams multiplied across your vision, warping into impossible angles. You blinked twice, grounding yourself, but you could feel the illusion sinking in—your sense of direction, balance, reality, all starting to blur.

The suspect stepped from the shadows without a sound. A tall, gaunt figure with dull eyes and a smile that didn't reach his face.

"Well well," he rasped. "They sent the mute and the detective. How flattering."

He raised a hand and the distortion deepened—Ranpo's form flickered beside you, like a broken television screen.

That was it.

Time to end this.

You turned slightly and raised your hand in a sharp, practiced motion—your signal.

Two fingers to your temple, then out like a wing—plug your ears.

The Agency had drilled the gesture into everyone. No questions asked. When you signaled, they moved.

Ranpo didn't.

He watched you, lips parted in quiet wonder.

And as you closed your eyes… he smiled, just a little.

You let out a soft, humming breath—melodic, ethereal, and strange. A single note, low and mournful, barely above a whisper.

The effect was instant.

The suspect froze mid-step, his body locking up like a puppet with cut strings. His eyes widened in shock, mouth half-open in a silent gasp as he collapsed backward with a thud.

Ranpo, a few feet to your right, went still as well—perfectly upright, like someone had pressed pause on time.

You didn't notice.

You moved fast—years of experience turning worry into efficiency. You rushed forward, handcuffed the suspect before the spell could wear off, and rolled him onto his side, checking for movement. Still out cold.

Satisfied, you stood and dusted off your coat, finally letting out a quiet sigh of relief.

That's when you turned around and saw Ranpo.

Frozen.

You blinked in confusion.

"…Ranpo?" You whispered, barely anything more than a breath. 

No response.

You stepped closer, waving a hand in front of his face.

His eyes were open—dazed, glossy. His cheeks faintly flushed. He looked like someone who'd just seen something... divine.

Your stomach dropped. Didn't he plug his ears?

You looked at the case in his coat pocket—still sealed.

A silent sigh escaped your mouth as you silently reached up, snapping your fingers sharply in his ear. He jolted back into motion, staggering slightly, blinking in rapid confusion while you steadied him with a hand on his arm.

He blinked once. Then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," he said, voice low. "I just… really wanted to hear you."

You stared at him in disbelief, the weight of his words catching you off guard. You opened your mouth, but no sound came. Not yet. You weren't sure if it was anger, worry, or something else sitting in your chest.

Ranpo gave a slight shrug, rubbing his neck. "Didn't hurt. I mean, I was frozen, yeah, but it was—honestly—worth it."

You frowned, typed out another message.

That could've gone wrong. You could've hit your head. You could've—

He reached out and gently pushed your phone down before you could finish.

"Y/N, relax," he said, soft and unusually serious. "I'm okay. Really."

You looked at him, your jaw clenched, emotions warring under your skin.

He smiled again—gentler this time. "And… your voice is beautiful."

That time, your breath caught.

You said nothing. But your eyes lingered on him for a long, quiet moment, and this time… You didn't look away.

You didn't speak the whole ride back.

The two of you sat in silence, your phone resting idle in your hands, occasionally glancing at Ranpo. He was staring out the window, but you were still worried about him, considering he'd only just thawed out from a dangerous dose of your ability.

But he seemed fine. Humming softly to himself, like nothing had happened.

Like he hadn't frozen in the middle of a hostile ability zone.

Your fingers itched to type out another message—to tell him he was reckless, stupid, lucky—but something about the way he kept glancing at you from the corner of his eye held you back.

You could feel it building in the air.

Not tension.

Something softer. Slower.

A quiet waiting.

When the car finally rolled to a stop in front of the Agency, you two quickly got out. But Ranpo didn't make a move walking inside the building, he just stood in front of it, letting out a low breath.

"…Hey," he said, not looking at you. "Can I say something kinda dumb?"

You turned toward him, the unspoken you usually do hovering between you.

He laughed under his breath, finally glancing at you.

"I meant seriously dumb," he said, softer this time. "Not 'wore mismatched socks' dumb. Like… emotionally compromised dumb."

You blinked slowly, but nodded once.

He hesitated for only a second more. Then: "I meant it," he said. "What I said back there. About your voice."

You looked away, fingers curling slightly in front of you.

He leaned back and folded his arms behind his head. "It wasn't just the ability part. Yeah, sure, that was… okay, that was a little terrifying, I won't lie." He laughed quietly. "But your voice, Y/N. The way it sounds when you let it go—when you sing, even for just a second…"

His eyes softened, and he looked at you like you were a mystery he'd been dying to solve. "It was beautiful. Not just the sound. The you in it. The part you always hide."

Your breath caught. You stared straight ahead, but he kept going.

"I've been trying to get you to talk, to laugh, to say anything for months now. Everyone thinks it's just me being nosy—'oh, it's just Ranpo, he's annoying like that.' But it's not just that."

You glanced over at him, cautiously.

"I'm curious about you," he admitted, voice quieter than you'd ever heard it. "Not in the 'solve-the-puzzle' way. In the 'I want to know what makes you smile, what songs you hum when no one's listening, what you sound like when you're not afraid to be yourself' kind of way."

You didn't even realize you were holding your breath.

"I guess I just…" He shrugged, scratching at his cheek with a sheepish smile. "I like you. More than a little. And I've been trying to say it without saying it, but now I've said it, so. There it is."

Silence filled the air between you two.

You stared at him, wide-eyed. You weren't sure what hit you harder—the confession, or the way he said it like it was nothing, like it was just a passing thought he couldn't keep in anymore.

He shifted from foot to foot, suddenly a little fidgety. "You can say something, y'know. Or write it, if that's easier."

You slowly picked up your phone. Typed something. Showed him.

I didn't sing to impress anyone.

Ranpo tilted his head. "I know."

I'm still scared of hurting people.

"I know."

Another pause. Then:

I'm scared of hurting you.

Ranpo's expression softened completely. "I'm not."

Your throat tightened.

You should be.

He smiled gently, leaned a little closer, his voice a whisper now. "Maybe. But I'm not. Because I trust you, Y/N. More than anyone else."

This time, you didn't type anything.

Instead, your lips parted—

And for the first time in his presence, your voice came out, quiet and hoarse but real. "…You're an idiot."

Ranpo's eyes widened in delight, and he grinned like he'd just solved the most wonderful mystery in the world.

"There you are," he whispered. "Told you I'd get you to talk."

You rolled your eyes, but the smallest smile tugged at the corner of your lips. You didn't say anything else.

But in the quiet that followed, Ranpo didn't need you to.

Masterlist

[5-puthyyy]

The Apprentice (Agatha x Rio x Reader) - Chapter 7

AO3 LINK

Word Count: 7.7k

Summary:

Life has been about survival for you ever since your coven banished you for the simplest thing: desire. Since then, you've travelled from Inn to Inn, making ends meet, until you sense a powerful Magick presence coming from two mysterious women. They take you in as their apprentice and you end up learning far more than what you came for...

CHAPTER WARNINGS! -- (18+ ONLY) SEXUAL CONTENT + STRAPON + CHOKING + SQUIRTING? + MAMA KINK

A/N -- this chapter is 7778 words of pure smut and filth, and this entire series is my ted talk on why p/w/plot is better xoxo

Ch.1 ~ Ch.2 ~ Ch.3 ~ Ch.4 ~ Ch.5 ~ Ch.6 ~ Ch.7 ~ Ch.8 ~ Ch.9 ~ Ch.10

Before your lips even touch, Agatha’s throat lets the softest of sighs escape and you absolutely melt at the sound; melt into her lips, her body, her arms. The moment it happens, you realise how royally screwed you are because kissing Agatha is addictive. It’s narcotic, ridiculously hot, and invading in a way that makes you want to surrender every atom of yourself to her. So you do.

It’s soft at first, Agatha letting you take, test the waters, experiment however you’d like. You kiss her gently, brushing your lips against hers as you switch between her lower and upper lips trying to get a taste of everything you can. Her lip moves with yours, sucking every second or so to pull you in. It’s sensual the way you dance with each other, Agatha letting you in the instant your tongue experimentally swipes over her bottom lip.

You lost track of time getting lost in her this way, mouths in a slow dance, sucking on her tongue a few times after memorising the whiney moan it elicits from her throat. When you finally pull back with hooded eyes darkened with desire, you see it reflected in Agatha’s eyes too. It’s wet when you pull apart, a string connecting your lips together still. The thrill shining in Agatha’s eyes shines in yours when you realise how much this affected her too.

A throat clears to your side and your head snaps to the sound. “Excuse me?” Rio scoffs, feigning her anger. A ball forms in your throat as dread sinks down to your stomach. You forgot to ask. You didn’t ask at all, asking would have been ridiculous in your head. Who asks if they could kindly kiss a person’s partner?

“I–I’m so sorry, Gosh, I don’t–”

Rio interrupts your rambling with a chuckle, her gaze darkening from anger to…to lust. “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t you know it’s rude not to share?” Rio teases with an easy smirk, poofing that fear in your stomach away. Agatha feels the relief in your body as she reaches a hand around your waist, her face slithering between your neck. But she doesn’t get a chance to kiss it yet because Rio’s snapping her fingers and you’re suddenly wrapped in a green rope and dragged off the chair.

“Oh, jealousy is not a good look on you, my love,” Agatha says through gritted teeth, clearly frustrated at you being taken from her. But you’re suddenly too occupied being in Rio’s space. You stumble to stability with a gasp, standing right in front of her with your knees pressed to hers.

Rio smirks up at you, her brown eyes filled with mischief. “Well?” she lifts a brow expectantly, glancing down to her lap. She’s sat on a smaller chair and there’s clearly no room for you to sit other than directly on her. 

But this time, you turn back to look at Agatha, just to make sure this is okay. Before she can nod her head, a rough hand grips your jaw and forces your face back harshly.

You gasp and Rio grins wickedly, all teeth. “Eyes on me.”

While Agatha is all soft and sensual, Rio is pure chaos, pulling you onto her lap with urgency not caring if you stumble a little. Your hands fall to her shoulders, gripping tightly for stability and Rio, the maniac, moans at your rough touch. She closes the gap, attacking your lips with her own. You gasp and she takes that opportunity to slip her tongue in, not asking for dominance but simply taking. 

She kisses you as if she owns you, doing what she wants to do with no questions asked, and she knows you like it. You’re sure Agatha knows you like it too by the needy whimpers you can’t help but let out. Rio’s hand roams and grips around your waist while the other leaves your jaw just to hold the back of your neck. It keeps you close to her, wrapped up in her, wanting to smell, taste, feel nothing but her. And Agatha.

At the realisation, you pull back quickly. “Wait, stop,” you call out, stumbling as you slip off her lap. They both watch you for a moment, observing as you open your mouth and close it, unsure of what you even want to say. What are we doing? What does this mean? Is this not wrong? “I’m confused,” is what you end up settling on.

Agatha sighs as she stands up. She gently guides you to take her place and you sit back, tense and anxious and filled with so much desire you can’t help but feel wrong when that’s what you’ve been told your entire life. Rio comes up behind you, her fingertips glazing over your shoulders before digging in gently. You moan instantly at the relief and she takes that as a sign to continue, using her fingers in ways you’ve never felt before to ease the tension out of your body.

“What are you confused about?” Agatha asks, settling in front of you. You try to move your legs up and press your knees to your chest just to give her space, but she holds onto your ankles. She places your legs over her lap, her fingers now doing the same as Rio but to the muscles in your calves.

“God,” you groan out at the feeling of both their hands on you. Rio lets you close your eyes a moment to relish it, but within seconds she snaps her fingers, forcing them back open. 

Rio’s finger traces your jawline for a moment before gripping, forcing your head down to meet Agatha’s intense gaze. “Agatha asked you a question, sweetheart.”

A stutter slips out of your lips for a moment before you collect yourself. But your collected words end up being rambles anyway. “I don’t understand what is happening. Do you not think I’m ruining your relationship? Why do you want me? Is this not…wrong?” you ask, your mind going back to the argument and Agatha yelling at you for not being able to control your desire. 

Agatha’s expression scrunches into something between frustration and sympathy, her hands stilling for a moment against your skin. She seems torn, unsure of what to say, or how to answer your questions. She hadn’t expected it, rather thought you’d give in the moment your lips touched. She nods her head towards Rio who begins massaging your shoulders again to ease your nerves.

“We were not upset with you because of your desires,” Agatha begins, carefully choosing her words, “We were…frustrated because you seemed to want her, more than you wanted us.”

Your brows pinch together in realisation. They were jealous. They’ve wanted you all this time and you were just too blind and insecure to see it. But instead of telling you in the moment, they decided to build your confidence up and make you see it for yourself, make you want it enough to push your insecurities away. A soft, grateful look passes in your eyes as Agatha looks at you with tenderness and hope in hers. Leaning down to tug at her hand, you give your permission for her to climb on top of you, her arms falling over your shoulders. Her gaze is hot, soft, filled with want, and a mischief similar to Rio’s. She leans down for a moment, her breath hot against your lips, but instead of kissing you she pulls back, leans up and meets Rio’s lips in a hot, rough, and messy kiss. 

You can only manage to watch them for a moment before your hips start grinding up seeking friction. A desperate whine escapes your lips, wanting the attention, wanting their lips on you, anywhere, everywhere.

Blue eyes come back into your vision once they break apart, and Agatha comes down to give you a wet kiss and you moan into her mouth as you taste Rio on her lips. It’s almost too much, you think, to have Agatha kissing you with passion and fire, while Rio’s lips have found their way to the side of your neck. But you realise it’s not too much, it’s simply your excitement. In fact, it’s not enough; you need more.

“More,” you pant as you pull back, your teeth biting Agatha’s bottom lip in a demanding manner, “Need more, please,” you moan, desire clouding your mind as Agatha’s roaming hands tugging on your night clothes drives you crazy.

Rio chuckles into your ear, her hand slithering to lightly press against your neck. You gasp into her touch, arching, nails digging into Agatha’s back as she kisses across your collarbone. They’ve both mastered that balance between tender and rough, keeping you on the edge waiting for you to beg for it. And you’re more than willing to do so.

“Please,” you breathe out.

Agatha groans in response, forcefully moving Rio’s hand from your throat just so she can roughly bite, suck, lick at your neck, successfully staking her claim. Rio smirks at Agatha’s possessiveness, deciding to retaliate by fisting your hair and tugging your head back; she leans down and kisses you aggressively, tongue forcing its way past your lips and claiming every inch of your mouth. It’s rough, messy, dirty, a clash of teeth, tongue, lips; you can’t control the moans leaving your throat and Rio happily swallows them down.

When Agatha decides to give your neck some mercy, she smirks down at her work. Your neck is painted in all shades of red, purple, blue; she trails her fingertips along the patterns, slithering her hand down until she reaches low on your stomach. You gasp into Rio’s kiss, your hand gripping Agatha’s waist, silently begging for her to touch you there, to cross over that line, to let you give in to your pleasures. But her hand stays right there, slipping under your shirt to lightly circle your skin.

A groan slips out your lips as you pull back from Rio for a moment. “Agatha,” you complain, as she slides her hand further up instead of down to where you need it most. Her wicked eyes tease as they look up at you but you look down with a pout, brows furrowed and eyes almost tear-filled. The desire is too much, overwhelming you with a need that can only be filled by them. It’s all too soft, too slow; you need more.

Agatha sees the primal hunger in your eyes, and paired with that pout she could never resist, Agatha gives in. “Bedroom.”

It’s a single command, not for you but for Rio who nods and lets go of your hair. She slides by the side of the chair as Agatha slips off of you, and Rio pulls you into her arms. You yelp at the quick movement, gripping onto her bicep as she lifts you with ease, manhandling you until your legs are wrapped around her waist, arms around her neck.

“Hold tight,” she teases, pecking your lips before you all disappear in a green smoke. Your hands stay gripping the back of her neck as you all reappear in their bedroom. 

“We could have walked,” you roll your eyes jokingly. Rio lifts a brow at the brattiness in your tone, clenching her jaw before slamming her lips to yours. Her teeth bite at your bottom lip hard enough for you to whimper and dig your nails into her neck. Unsurprisingly, she groans at the pain mixed with pleasure, gently laying you on the bed without breaking the kiss.

Grinding up against her like this feels heavenly, your thighs keeping her in place as hers rests between your legs. The pressure is perfect, hard and solid against your core letting you seek that friction. Rio pulls back from the kiss just to rip your thin nightshirt off. You gasp at the strength, instinctively wanting to cover your naked chest but Rio’s hands grip your wrists, pinning them to the side. She looks down at you with wide, hungry eyes, her gaze dark and possessive as she gives in to temptation by diving down and sucking a peaked nipple into her mouth.

“Oh, fuck, Rio, yes,” you hiss, moan, whimper at her relentless roughness, arching your chest into her mouth. Suddenly there’s a hot tongue against your other nipple that has you gasping, whining, and finally snapping your eyes open to look down. Agatha has taken your other breast, both of them now looking up at you with devastatingly beautiful eyes darkened by desire. The sight paired with the pressure between your legs is almost too much already.

The contrast of their touches – Rio rough and Agatha tender – has your mind spinning, hands coming down to press against both their heads. You’re unsure what you want more, which touch drives you crazier, but eventually you realise you don’t care at all; you just want them, in whatever form they’ll let you have them. Agatha kisses up your body to your lips, smiling against them as you moan immediately at the first touch of her mouth against yours.

“Eager?” she whispers as she pulls back, then in, and back, her soft, wet kisses driving you to insanity. You nod like a lust-driven maniac, slamming your lips to hers, falling into her as Rio replaces Agatha’s mouth with a hand to your other breast. Her tongue stays at your nipple, circling, flicking, pressing hard against it until you’re arching and writhing against her touch.

“Ugh, God, I need…” you stop yourself, suddenly shy, averting your gaze from Agatha’s knowing one. 

The blue-eyed witch tilts your head back to her with her finger. “What do you need from us, little dove?” she whispers, demanding your honesty. Not just with them, but with yourself. 

You gather up that last bit of courage. “I need you to touch me.”

Agatha chuckles, low and dark, her tongue swiping your bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth to coax another moan out of you. “We are touching you.”

Rio moans in agreement from her position, elaborating with a rough squeeze of your chest. But it’s not enough. The heat and fire between your legs need to be put out. They try to search for that friction from Rio’s thigh but it’s not enough, not now that you’ve tasted them, now that you’ve felt the pleasure you can get from their mouths, their hands, from those intense gazes. A flash of Rio’s head between your thighs takes over your mind for a moment, Agatha’s hips grinding against your stomach before climbing up to your face. The image has you squirming, writhing, the wetness now uncomfortable. 

“Please, I need you to take me,” you finally whine out and see the immediate effect on the women on top of you. Agatha’s breath hitches as Rio’s rough ministrations freeze for a split second. You take that as a sign and spill the rest out with ease, “Claim me, use me, fuck me.”

The tension in the room reaches its peak, silence following your desperately honest words. The pants Agatha’s letting out near your ear are warm, doing nothing to calm the heat between your squirming legs. There’s barely any movement at your chest, Rio’s mouth long gone as she looks up at you with a clenched jaw, clearly trying to control herself. But she can’t. 

A sound akin to an animal growling escapes Rio’s throat, croaky and dark, and she rests a hand by your hip to push herself up. Agatha doesn’t want to get in the way of a predator, so she slides off and instead settles behind you, watching over with a smirk as you gulp, wide-eyed and terrifyingly wanting more. Agatha’s hands hold yours back, keeping you locked in your place for Rio to do as she pleases.

“Is this what you wanted?” Rio’s tone is dripping with control, power, and hunger. Her eyes darker, the warm brown a deeper shade mixed with black, but still wide and as honest as ever. Something you’ve learnt about Rio is she never lies, never hides; it’s almost as if she doesn’t have the ability to do so because her eyes are so expressive. And right now, they’re screaming for you.

“Yes, please,” you whimper as she growls again, this time pairing it with eager hands tugging at your pants until nothing is left but your naked skin. It’s vulnerable, raw and you, and, again, part of you wishes to hide it all away but the way Rio’s eyes widen slightly, tongue peaking out to lick at her lower lip in hunger has your thighs opening up wider for her. It’s almost subconscious how your body reacts to her.

Agatha hums a soft, “Good girl,” behind you, nipping at your ear as she says so. Her hand creeps around to your chest, fingers pressing gently, experimentally, seeing what you like best.

A firm but warm touch on your inner thighs draws your attention back to Rio whose fingers are trailing higher and higher. You’re breathing faster by the second, practically a panting, waiting mess by the time Rio’s fingers finally slide through your folds. It’s a touch, a brush, really, but it still has you moaning, throwing your head back to rest against Agatha’s shoulder. The witch takes the opportunity to kiss your neck, happily marking whatever clear skin you have left.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Rio mutters almost mockingly, pouting up at you, “Have we been neglecting you that long?” she teases, “You’re soaked, baby,” she observes in awe before sliding through your slit again, gathering your wetness on her fingers. But before she gets a taste, she reaches up. Your mouth opens up instinctively and Rio grins wickedly at your obedience, but she passes by you and instead offers her glistening fingertips to Agatha.

The blue-eyed witch hums in appreciation, flicking her tongue out for a taste. The moan she lets out permanently imprints itself into your head; you’re seemingly addictive enough for her to wrap her lips around Rio’s fingers, eagerly sucking and licking every drop she can. The act itself is enough to have you whimpering and grinding your hips upwards, trying to bring Rio’s attention back to your aching, swollen cunt. That’s all it took, which doesn’t surprise you given the way she’s been looking at you.

“Fuck,” you groan, drawn out and guttural as Rio’s tongue suddenly invades your warm, swiping up your slit to your clit, circling it teasingly, “Please,” you easily beg, trying to pull your hands down to tug at her hair but Agatha’s hands come back to hold your wrists in place.

You can feel the smirk on Rio’s lips against your lower ones, but she doesn’t seem in a teasing mood after getting a taste. No, she looks like she’ll do anything to absolutely devour you and nothing will stand in her way. She circles around your clit once, twice, and then finally presses her tongue flat against it, giving you the perfect surface to roll your hips against.

The pleasure takes over and you grind your hips without a hint of shame, chasing your high. Her tongue is firm and warm against you; Agatha’s fingers suddenly flicking at your nipples only adds to your pleasure. They’re eerily silent as you use Rio’s tongue, wanting to memorise every sound that comes out of your mouth; a high-pitched moan as Agatha pinches your nipples curiously, a whimper as you grind fast enough for the tip of Rio’s tongue to probe at your entrance, a groan as Rio’s hands find their way to your ass to dig her fingers into.

Agatha’s shaky breath behind you makes you wonder if this is also too much for them, if they’re just as affected by you in all of this, if they’re struggling to come to terms with the fact that they can finally have you like this. Just as Rio’s tongue takes back control and slides right past your leaking walls, Agatha attaches her lips back to yours, eagerly swallowing your surprised moan, which only grows louder when you realise you can taste yourself on Agatha’s tongue.

“Look at you, my little dove,” Agatha whispers against your lips, her eyes lidded and voice so incredibly raspy it sends shivers down your arched spine, “Look at you,” she says again, this time breaking your gaze with a hand at your neck, forcing your face down to Rio’s eyes.

Your breath hitches at the intensity in them, the hunger and possessiveness as she looks up at you. When your eyes meet, she growls into your cunt, holding your legs further apart so she can dive her tongue in even deeper. It expertly slithers, twists and turns and curls with precision, as if Rio knows exactly how to drive you to insanity.

It won’t take much longer, you know it, they know it. But it definitely doesn’t matter because they will be nowhere near done with you after you reach your first climax. Rio’s tongue continues thrusting in and out, your wetness clearly coating her nose, her chin, your own thighs. This is what Agatha meant. Look at your mess. It’s beautiful.

You sigh deeply, body relaxing into Agatha’s as you throw your head back again, seeking her lips. She gives them to you with a soft, tender smile, letting you kiss her gently. It’s all surprisingly soft and intimate, the way you exchange quick pecks, your tongues coming out to shyly meet. The way Agatha’s hand strays, coming up to rest tenderly against your cheek. Before you know it, her other hand sneaks down your body and suddenly presses against your throbbing clit. You gasp into her, arching your back as you run up that cliff faster and faster. 

The tension in you coils, your hands finally coming down to grip Rio’s wild locks. Her eyes encourage it, flashing with approval and you tug and tug until she’s moaning between your throbbing walls, the vibrations sending a shiver through you. It doesn’t take a moment longer as Agatha’s fingers rub firmly, her teeth biting down hard into your neck with a growl, a silent statement screaming mine echoing in your head. With a final arch, you freeze, tense and overcome with pleasure. It rushes through you, Rio’s tongue and Agatha’s fingertips not stopping for a single moment to allow you to breathe. A strangled cry escapes as you finally fall off that cliff and all you hear is white noise, all you see is darkness as your eyes shut tight, and all you can feel is them. All over you, all inside you, taking over who you are until they are all you know.

When Rio’s tongue finally slides out, you sigh a strange sound of both happiness and disappointment. You wish for her to stay but you’re also so content with them this way, still in disbelief of what just happened. You wish for it to never end, you think, smiling softly as you lazily blink up at the ceiling.

Agatha hums behind you, laying a soft kiss just below your ear. “How do you feel, sweetheart?” she husks, genuinely checking in, but there’s a hint of impatience beneath the surface as if she’s struggling to wait her turn.

“Amazing,” you sigh, twisting your head around to feel Agatha’s addictive lips against yours again. 

Getting lost in the kiss, you twist around until you’re lying on top of her, deepening the kiss with a passion that wraps around your insides. Agatha kisses you like it’s all she’s ever wanted, but with such tender restraint too. Gentle fingertips trace your jaw, tuck your loose hair behind your ears, and wrap around the back of your neck to keep you close and secure. 

Feeling braver and braver by the second, you risk a wandering hand down the beautiful curve of Agatha’s hip, wrapping around to pull her closer to you. Adjusting yourself, you press a thigh between her legs and she instantly breaks away to gasp; a similar sound escapes your own throat at the heat and wetness you can feel against your skin, even through her nightdress.

“I want to feel you,” you whisper against her lips, unable to resist the urge to kiss them again, and again, until Agatha whines into your mouth, tongue swirling against yours in a beautifully tender dance.

A chuckle from behind interrupts your kiss. “Oh, did you think I was done with you?” Rio rasps, asserting her dominance with a slap to your behind, soothing the wound with a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, God,” you moan at the pain, rolling your hips down against Agatha’s. You can feel Rio’s intense gaze as she watches for a moment, indulging the two of you as you seek pleasure with your grinding hips but find that it’s not enough. Before you can turn over to glimpse the brown-eyed witch, she’s settling in behind you, forcing you back down with a hand to your back. Your breasts press up against Agatha’s through her nightdress, the thin material doing nothing to hide how hard her nipples are.

Rio growls behind you and flicks her fingers, green tendrils coming out to magically remove Agatha’s clothing. A croaky groan echoes in the space as your naked body is finally flush with Agatha’s warmth, the wetness between her legs unmissable now. Rio’s strong hands move you and Agatha as they please, positioning the two of you until you’re straddling her waist.

A strangled, desperate moan suddenly comes from Agatha’s lips, her neck strained as she throws her head back. You frown, wanting to turn back and see what Rio’s doing but her hand remains strong against your back. Whining in frustration, you grind down, whimpering as your clit brushes against Agatha’s wet core. You’re sure you’ve absolutely soaked her trimmed curls by now but she pays no mind to you, completely wrapped up in the pleasure Rio is giving her. 

Then you hear it. A squelching sound as something thrusts in and out of Agatha’s tight heat. It’s as if Rio senses the moment you realise, chuckling low and dark, leaning down to leave teeth marks at the junction of your shoulder.

“She usually likes it when it hurts,” Rio murmurs into your ear, “Hence my wooden creation you saw that night,” she reveals, surprising you, but she continues before you can react, “But this one is leather…Agatha’s just getting it nice and wet for you.”

Agatha groans aloud at the words, her nails finding their way to your back as if you’re Rio atop of her, fucking a leather cock into her. Those nails dig into your shoulders painfully, causing you to hiss, but it quickly mixes with pleasure as Rio’s fingers slide into your slick entrance with unsurprising ease. 

Both you and Agatha moan filthily in unison, Rio groaning at the power she holds as she pistons her hips and fingers into the two of you with precision. There’s barely a moment to breathe, the overstimulation getting to you already. Agatha’s hard nipples brushing against yours, her intoxicating moans and hot breath directly in your ear, Rio’s fingers curling to perfectly brush against the spot inside your walls to drive you to insanity, the way every thrust has your clit rubbing against Agatha’s.

You’re just a few thrusts away from reaching another climax but before you can, Rio’s fingers suddenly disappear. Whining at the loss and pushing your hips back does nothing to temp Rio; she remains firm as she tuts at you, swiping her wet fingers along your skin.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she chuckles again, “So greedy,” she punctuates with a bite to your shoulder again, her eyes gleaming as they meet Agatha’s over your shoulder, “You don’t get to come again, not until Mama does.”

Primal desire takes over you at the phrase, your eyes wide and wanting as they meet Agatha’s as hers flutter open. It’s soft and tender, but also dominant and powerful, especially as her hand creeps up behind your back to pull you down into a rough kiss. All you want to do is make her feel good, you realise, rolling your hips now not to seek your pleasure but to push Agatha over the edge.

“Oh, just like that, little dove,” Agatha whimpers into your lips, sighing deep and low, pressing her forehead to yours, “You’re doing so good,” her nose brushes against yours as you lean down to kiss her quickly. Just a peck, you tell yourself but groan as you push into her again, sliding your tongue across her bottom lip until she lets you in. She hums, playing with your hair, tugging and twisting, gasping and moaning as Rio thrusts harder, faster, angling her hips to push deeper.

“She’s close,” Rio says. You can practically hear the smirk on her lips as she casually swipes her thumb through your slit just to see you jump in pleasure, “Careful, don’t come before Mama,” Rio warns again, this time pushing her thumb in, pressing inside as if she knows exactly what buttons to push. Agatha’s mouth drowns your moans, her tongue curling inside your mouth to taste all of you. Rio doesn’t stop her thrusting, replacing her thumb with two fingers and a third within a minute, filling you until you’re gasping and writhing on top of Agatha.

But you remember Rio’s words, and see how close Agatha is. Her kisses are sloppier, messy and wet, her moans now high-pitched as they escape from those bruised, pouty lips. She sounds just like she did that night, you realise, and the reality of the situation sinks in, sending a thrill through you. Determined to get her to make those sounds and reach her climax, you sit up slightly, the angle putting more pressure against her clit. She groans, her hands sliding to tightly grip your waist.

You moan seductively on top of her, grinding your hips bouncing against her clit and on Rio’s fingers as your own hands wander, tracing meaningless patterns across her stomach. It’s your next action of curiously flicking and pinching her sensitive nipples, paired with your words that send her brutally over the edge. “Wanna make you feel good, Mama,” you whine, throwing your head back as you seek your own pleasure. The grind feels too good. With your slick mixed with Agatha’s, there’s barely any friction but she looks so good, sounds so unbelievably filthy; you could have come just by looking at her unravelling as she does now.

Her body arches beautifully, and you swear if she were a sculpture frozen in time you would believe in no other religion but her. The veins across her neck and on the side of her temple throb as she tenses. You can hear the wet sounds of Rio’s hips refusing to stop her fast pace, thrusting into Agatha’s throbbing hole. The squelching is louder, as if Agatha’s tightening as she comes, and you can’t help but wish it were around your fingers. You wish to feel her, taste her, know it were you that pushed her over the edge. But she finally flutters her eyes back open and they let you know that it was you.

That’s enough for you to shudder, bouncing up and down as you arch your back. Rio’s fingers remain trapped between you and Agatha’s bodies as you use her hand to reach your own climax. It only takes another few seconds before you’re panting and moaning obscenely, grinding against Agatha’s clit to prolong her pleasure. Rio eventually forces your hips to slow, giving you a reassuring kiss on your back as she gently guides you off to lay on the bed by Agatha’s side.

You lay on your stomach, sighing deeply, smiling contentedly as Agatha softly brushes your hair out of your eyes. She grins at you, leaning over to leave a lingering kiss across your temple.

They let you rest for a moment, your eyes fluttering shut in peace, but then you hear a ragged breath followed by a wet sound and have to open your eyes in curiosity. Agatha’s now sat up, back resting against the headboard with Rio on her lap. She’s still wearing the leather cock which you finally get a glimpse of; it’s black, glistening in the candlelight and still somehow dripping with Agatha’s slick. 

The movement beneath it catches your attention and you inhale sharply when you realise Agatha’s hand has slipped beneath the straps holding it in place. She’s rubbing at Rio expertly, her years of experience mapping out Rio’s body making it easy for her to know exactly what the brown-eyed witch needs. Their eyes are locked together in a deep, intense intimacy that has you breathing heavily, a simple observer to the love they hold for each other.

But then you remember what they said that night you saw them in their bedroom. How badly they wanted you, and it seems as if now you’re looking in at a private moment between them, a silent conversation of ‘Finally. Doesn’t it feel amazing? To finally have her?’ It takes less than a minute for Rio’s panting to turn into grunts and guttural moans, her limbs freezing as Agatha’s arm moves faster, the pads of her fingers rubbing circles to push Rio over the edge.

By the time her eyes flutter back open, a soothing satisfaction in them, your legs are pressed against each other in desperate want. You hadn’t realised you’ve been practically humping the bed until their heads turn to you with matching smirks.

“Turn over,” Rio commands and you follow with quick ease, your eyes drawn back down to the intimidating leather piece hanging between her legs. It’s thick, long enough to reach deeper than anyone, any woman’s fingers from your past.

Once you’re on your back, Rio steps off the bed and stands at the foot of it. She grips your ankles and pulls you towards her with ease, smirking in amusement as you squeal and giggle. 

“Oh, this is funny, huh?” she says playfully, spanking the inside of your thigh to earn another squeal, “Are you going to behave for me?” the glare on her face has a layer of intimacy and adoration beneath it, and you cannot miss it, not with her expressive eyes shining brightly at you.

A wide grin spreads across your lips and you bite your lower lip seductively, urging her in. Your legs spread for her, the wetness and slick coating your thighs all over. Rio can barely control herself, clenching her jaw as her hands ball into fists. She wants to tease you, to draw this out, but you’re so inviting, so wet for her, and you’re here, wanting this, and she can finally have you after waiting so long.

“I can’t–I, uh,” Rio stutters for a moment, gulping as her eyes flicker from the mess between your legs to your marked chest and neck, and then your eyes, wild and wide and so free compared to how they were when she first saw you. She did this; they did this. A sense of pride swells in her chest.

You’re shocked seeing her so uncomposed for the first time, so much so that you close your legs and sit up slowly, urging her to come towards you. She does after hesitating for a moment, and she’s suddenly descending to her knees to meet your eyes. Your hand slides up her neck, thumb circling over her jaw as your eyes flicker with affection. Pulling her in, she sighs immediately into the kiss, letting you show her that you want her. It’s soft until it deepens, Rio growling with newfound hunger to devour.

She stands and shoves you back on the bed, tugging your legs again until the leather cock presses against your wet slit. A strangled cry croaks out of you at the simple touch, a warning of what is to come. It’s far more intimidating when you feel it, the head probing at your entrance as it soaks itself in your glistening heat.

“Wait, wait,” you begin to panic, pushing against her chest lightly, “You’re big, I–I don’t know–”

Rio shuts you down with a laugh, leaning down to kiss you reassuringly. “You can take it, sweetheart. I know you can,” she says simply, pressing the head against your entrance again. You moan as you leak around it, “And Mama’s right here to distract you from the pain.”

Your head snaps to the side, remembering Agatha who’s now crawling over to you after catching her breath. Agatha was content watching the two of you, but Rio involving her certainly is a plus for her. She lays by your side, playing with your hair with a reassuring look in her eyes.

“You can take her, little dove,” she whispers, kissing down your jaw to your neck.

Rio uses the opportunity to push the head past your entrance. You immediately hiss at the stretch, arching your back at the invasion but Agatha’s there to soothe the pain with a gentle kiss to your lips, swallowing your sounds. Her hand comes up to grip your chest, squeezing to give you a mix of pleasure, while Rio’s fingertips rub tight circles over your clit.

“Fuck, oh, fuck, please,” you cry out, not sure if you’re begging for her to have mercy on you or push in deeper. But the mix of pleasure quickly takes over, leaving you panting, the stretch now maddening.

Rio pushes in deeper as your eyes lock, a darker look in yours now as the pleasure takes over. “Agatha,” Rio calls out, her lips parted as she stares at you. The blue-eyed witch turns her gaze back to you, her breath hitching at the change in your expression.

“More,” you pant out, demanding it, needing it, craving it. Rio slowly pushes in deeper, panting with you as if she can feel how tight you are against her. You groan deeply at the invasion, at how full you feel and then the realisation that she’s nowhere near done, “God, I need more.”

“I’ll give you everything,” Rio promises, whining as she thrusts deeper, her eyes locked to yours in a hypnotic gaze.

Agatha’s kisses trail down from your neck to your chest, her tongue pressing firmly against your peaked bud; you arch into her mouth with a gasp, your hand coming up to press against her head as your fingers tighten in her wild curls. Agatha’s hand slithers down and slaps Rio’s away, replacing Rio’s fingers with her own. Tight circles around your clit to tease you until you’re writhing, only giving in when you let out that obscene whine that is beginning to become her favourite sound.

Agatha gathers some of your wetness before bringing her fingers back up, brushing them against your lower lips. You open up obediently, breaking your gaze with Rio to look into those darkened blues as you suck Agatha’s fingers into your mouth. You twirl your tongue expertly around them, licking every inch of your slick off of them. Agatha pants at the feeling, suddenly pushing her two fingers deeper until you unexpectedly gag. She smirks at the sound, pulling out to slide them back down for another round but you hold her wrist in place.

“No,” you protest, shaking your head, gasping as Rio thrusts deeper, a reminder of the pleasure waiting for you.

Agatha tilts her head at the slight sign of disobedience. “No?”

“N–” you groan at another push of Rio’s hips, deeper, stretching you more than you’ve ever been stretched before, “No, please, I–I want to taste you.”

Rio pants softly as a silence falls between you and Agatha, the latter’s eyes switching to something territorial, primal, and wicked. Agatha leans forward and you ready yourself for a kiss, but instead her hand rests against the sides of your neck and squeezes until you’re gasping, and she sucks those sounds in as if taking your power. Within seconds, Agatha climbed on top of you, now grinding high up your stomach. She’s leaving her slick behind on your skin, groaning at the pressure against her clit.

“My love,” Rio calls out between her groans, Agatha looking over her shoulder sensually to meet her partner’s eyes, “Face me,” Rio commands, sending a shiver down Agatha’s spine. The blue-eyed beauty gracefully turns over, sliding up slowly until her dripping lips are just over your face. The heady scent immediately makes your head spin with pure hunger, tongue already coming up to try to catch a taste but Agatha pulls up teasingly. Her eyes are locked to Rio’s as she does so, and the brown-eyed witch is fuelled by the action, thrusting her hips forward fast until she’s completely buried deep inside you.

“Fuck, Rio,” you moan her name out, the sound immodest at best. Agatha shuts your moans out quickly by dropping down, finally giving you what you want. The vibrations of your pleasure go straight to her clit and she reaches down to stabilise herself with strong hands to your chest.

“Y/N, darling, yes,” Agatha moans deliciously, rolling her hips against your firm, eager tongue. 

Rio groans at the sight, pulling back just to slam back in, suddenly starting up a rhythm. Your moans get louder by the second, thighs already shaking from the stretch and brutal pace as your walls cling to her cock. She keeps you in place with a strong hold on your hips, pressing down which somehow makes it feel as if she’s thrusting even deeper inside you.

“Let her use you,” Rio pants, and through your narcotic haze of everything Agatha, you realise she’s talking to you, “Until she gets close, and then take control again. She likes to be teased,” Rio guides you through it and you think this is probably the best lesson you’ve ever had with them.

You do as told, keeping your tongue firm for her to grind against, the mix of sweet, salty, and something distinctly Agatha coating your tongue. You swallow eagerly, refusing to let a drop of her sweet nectar go to waste.

“Good, so good, little dove, my good girl,” Agatha pants above you, already losing control as she squeezes your chest in her hands, only adding to your pleasure. Rio pulls your thighs apart, pushing them back as she puts a knee on the bed. You immediately whine at the change of angle, your mind too foggy to think any coherent thought but Agatha and Rio, but you feel it in your stomach, poking, prodding, finding that spot that will push you over the edge over and over again.

Agatha’s thighs tighten around your head and you immediately slide your tongue into her hole for the first time, pleased with the reaction of a drawn-out gasp that catches in her throat. Rio lets out a gasp of her own as she thrusts down into you harder, deep inside to start grinding her hips seeking that pressure of the toy against her clit. Agatha bounces on your tongue, her claws coming out to play as she leaves red streaks on your stomach. You’re not sure where you haven’t been marked yet; if you didn’t think they were possessive after their reaction to the Innkeeper’s daughter, you definitely know it to be a fact now.

“You’re still so tight, baby,” Rio groans, eyes locked to your cunt, “Taking me so well, so pretty, so wet, fuck, tell me it’s for me.”

The sound is muffled by Agatha’s cunt covering your mouth, so she answers for you, gasping as you curl your tongue inside her. “It’s for you,” Agatha pants, Rio’s eyes snapping up to meet hers, “For us,” she says again, desperately clawing her hands forward until they pull at Rio’s hair, tugging so hard the brown-eyed witch moans lewdly at the show of power.

“For you,” Rio pants back, “Us,” she moans, brushing her nose against Agatha’s as she thrusts harder and harder, deeper and deeper until she hits that spongy spot inside you that has you seeing stars, and she stays there as you scream into Agatha’s wet lips, tongue pulling just for her to grind her clit against again, “She’s ours.”

It all snapped for you at the same moment. Rio’s words and her thrusting up against that spot inside you sends sparks through you, her thumb coming down to rub quick circles over your clit despite the fact that she’s grinding her own hips down to chase her own high. Agatha and Rio are locked in a kiss as they come with you, Agatha’s movements slippery and manic, desperate and raw. Your entire face must be covered in her slick by now. You’re writhing under them both, clawing at whatever your hands find, hips twisting as the pleasure becomes too much, but Rio doesn’t stop. Her thrusts only curl deeper, her thumb circles faster until you’re falling again, this time able to breathe in a gasp as Agatha sits up.

“That’s it, that’s our good girl,” Agatha pants out, still catching her breath after coming down from her climax. Her hand creeps around your neck, pulling your head up so you can see the maddening look in Rio’s eyes, “Look at what you do to her,” she whispers to you as you both watch Rio’s wide, almost black eyes fixated on your red, swollen cunt. The vulgar sounds of your hips meeting, of your cunt meeting her cock has you whimpering, and it seems your sounds of pleasure fuels her even more. She thrusts harder and faster, fingers bruising your hips, and the pressure builds impossibly fast, “Let go, little dove, you can fly now,” Agatha whispers again, holding onto you tight as you fall.

Your thighs immediately start shaking as the dam breaks. An orange glow emits from you, your Magick coming out uncontrollably. It heightens everything, all your pleasures, Agatha and Rio’s eyes turning orange too, influenced by your power. They gasp as Magick connects all of you together, as if they can feel it as you build and build, finally gushing out against Rio’s cock. The pressure is too much for her to keep thrusting. She has to pull out, her gaze burned into your skin as she looks down, mesmerised at the wetness flowing out of you. She pulls back in again, and out, in, and out, watching in awe until you collapse with a raw moan coming from the deepest depths of your soul.

Your eyes flutter shut in exhaustion, and the last thing you feel is Agatha and Rio all around you, pulling you into a deep embrace.

masterlist + guidelines

VOTE RN IS P*RN W/ PLOT BETTER YES OR NO

[g0niki]

hey, i just wonder if you'll be able to write something like "enhas reactions when their chubby gf is insecure about her body" cause im that gf and i feel terrible today? sorry if its too much ❤️ love your works

enha x gn!reader

word count: 1k+ (estimated 150 each)

contents: jake says girl once, kissing, fondling/ groping, overall fluff, suggestive (jaywon).

a/n: i made it sfw with some members suggestive(jay & jungwon)! I hope this makes you feel better and just let me know if you’d like an nsfw ver in the future!

heeseung ��⭒˚｡⋆

⭑ heeseung would most likely be sitting at his computer gaming and notice you in his peripheral looking in the mirror, trying on clothes, and overall just not being satisfied with how you look.

⭑ he'd take off his headphones and swivel in his chair to face you, just silently opening his arms for you to come sit on his thigh. the second you sit down he's wrapping his arms around your frame and pepper soft kisses onto your face asking what's got you so down.

⭑immediately showers you with the softest praise. "i find every part of you beautiful, love." he’s definitely gripping your thighs and running his hands up them, just trying to bring you some comfort.

⭑ i don't think he'd have too much to say but he'd do his absolute best to make you feel appreciated in that moment. closing out his games and deciding to pull up your favorite show/movies using this time just to hold you closely and gently caress every curve and kiss softly behind your ear every few moments.

more under cut ᯓ★

jay ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑i believe jay's biggest love language is food. he's always making sure his partner is eating well and just gets happy seeing his partner appreciate his home-cooked meals.

⭑ that being said, jay would 100% notice any change in diet/ eating habits. the second he notices you picking at your plate and refusing to eat your favorite foods he's raising an eyebrow and silently observing you.

⭑ he wouldn't put you on the spot but after dinner, while you’re cleaning up the dishes he'd come up and hug you from behind. "everything ok princess?"

⭑he'd listen to you attentively, trying his best to understand why you may feel like that. he’d hum in response taking in all your words but he finds you to be perfect. personally, i believe jay loves tummies, thighs, and all of that, he likes how it feels in his hands and honestly finds it to be attractive. "why don't we go shower so i can show my girl just how much she means to me?" and be prepared for jay to do just that.

jake ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑firmly believe jake loves all bodies like mans does not care, but if his partner ever were to be feeling insecure he’s right there to reassure them.

⭑jake on a daily expresses to his partner how much he loves them and is constantly hanging all over them. if you ever were feeling down and struggling with your image he’s quick to tell you that he loves you and wouldn’t trade you for the world. “you know no matter the size you’ll always be my girl right?”

⭑ i see him as the type to kiss you and in between each kiss list off what he loves about you, taking his time just to make you smile. “there’s that pretty smile i missed so much” while cupping your face and placing another gentle kiss on your lips.

⭑ he just wants to see you with a smile on your face and appreciating yourself for everything you are.

sunghoon ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑hoon is more in his head than the three above, i think he would be worried about what he may have said or done, thinking that he was the one to have made you feel that way.

⭑i think the easiest way for him to express that he loves you would be through subtle actions, coming up to you and caressing your curves, pushing your hair out of your face to just hold your face and take in your beauty.

⭑he would lean down and push your noses together, kissing you and saying “you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever laid eyes on love.”

⭑i do see him walking on eggshells a bit, unsure of how to approach the issue but he would always be there for you until you do open up, holding your hand, constantly reassuring and admiring you.

sunoo ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑he notices his partner not wanting to snack with him as much. one of sunoo’s favorite things to do would be going on late-night snack runs with you, so the moment you refuse to get icecream or share his mint choco he’s pouting and asking you what’s wrong.

⭑he’s very k-drama-esque, pushing your shoulder and scolding you “ya! i like you for you, not because of what others may think you look like.” wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you with all his might.

⭑"this is who i love, and i want the person i love to love themself!” pulling back and grabbing your hand, staring into your eyes, and placing a pouty kiss onto your lips.

⭑ sunoo literally doesn’t tolerate his partner not loving themselves, he thinks you’re perfect and that anyone that disagrees needs to piss off.

jungwon ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑before i start, i think won loves curvy girls, he’s very touchy and loves having more to grab. won with a curvy s/o he’d constantly be touching up on you and it kind of brings him comfort in a way.

⭑if you told him you were feeling insecure i don’t think he’d be able to understand why. jungwon is immediately furrowing his brows and trying to wrap his head around the fact.

⭑he’d pull you onto the bed next to him, leaning over you to say “you must not see how perfect you are.” he’d take a moment just to admire you, hold you close to him, and probably trail kisses along your neck and chest.

⭑"nothing about you could ever be less than perfect,” his kisses never stopping as he pushes you back and get’s ready to show you what he feels.

riki ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑i think he’d get mad if you told him you were feeling insecure. not mad at you but mad at whoever made you think you weren’t enough. he’d try and keep his composure for your sake but his eyebrows would be pinched together and jaw slightly clenched.

⭑ sits you down just to hear you out better, mostly to calm himself down and figure out just what to say. holding your hands and using his thumbs to caress the backs of them.

⭑"why worry about them anyways, i’m the one who loves you.” he just might be even more hurt than you are. he’d calm himself down by gently kissing the top of your temple and pulling you to lean onto his chest.

⭑"don’t listen to them, none of them matter.” his definitely using his words to calm himself down and stop himself from acting irrationally to protect you.

ᯓ★

@g0niki all rights reserved. do not translate or post my work anywhere without permission.

[strawberrystepmom]

who do you think is the gentlest of the sparda men when it comes to having sex? you are allowed to be as biased as you want <3

this is a set up but im letting myself trip into it and giggling the entire time. thank you for loving me.

weirdly, i don't see any of them as particularly rough or aggressive lovers. i'm sure they have their moments, we all do, but lover boyitis often outranks all other motivations in these types of men. loyal, passionate, devoted, dedicated, chivalrous and good. even vergil who i think out of the three likely has the largest appetite for things that delve into rougher/more sub/dom dynamics bc he gets to control all the variables that way bc sex makes him nervous anyway

dante obviously wins this. i'm sorry guys, i'm sorry, he's just. ugh. how can i make this about sex and not the content of dante's character i'll get to that but like there's a melancholy air about him that only men who are tremendously gentle with you have. like he feels fortunate to get the opportunity. not in a pathetic way but in a truly appreciative, heart absolutely pounds with desire way. how did this happen to him and how can he savor every last moment of it?

he's a big foreplay guy for this reason. he can take his time. he can be slow and methodical and can drive himself absolutely crazy with want. big fan of the soft makeout session leading into more. loves to have his lap sat in, loves to get to kiss and nibble and relish every bit he wants to without question. he loves being the pace setter. this is his version of vergil's issues with control. pace setting guarantees it's as sensual of an experience as he wants and that you get to just maximize your pleasure. dudes a bit of a hedonist this way and with the ahem, right partner who is happy to indulge this aspect of him he's the gentlest, gooiest, softest man alive.

nero is gentle in a different way. he's gentle in his words. a soft murmurer about how beautiful you are and how perfect you feel in your ear. his thrusts are a little rougher, jerking your body up the bed, but even the lewd smacking of his balls against your ass is silence compared to the softness of his voice. a pleasured rasp thanking you. telling you how much he loves you.

and revisiting vergie boy, he's gentle after it's all said and done. after he has thoroughly wrecked you in any way he may have seen fit, he's the aftercare king. his voice is quiet and carries that same efficient tone it always does, ever to the point, but there's something. a little lightness, it's so sweet. he's telling you he adores you. loves you. wants you. thanking you for loving him, flaws and all. reciting poetry, grateful you just made a little of your own with him.

[verascrow]

Hi!! Im back (Same anon who requested the soft!dom Nikolai), hope your day/night is going well ^^. Okay, for the life of me I cannot stop thinking about Nikolai with a virgin reader, and every time I do it makes me go crazy 😩😩 like, he already knew about the fact she’d never been with anybody intimately and he couldn’t care one bit, simply content with just kissing and cuddling, even being around her. However, one night the reader comes to him and says she’s ready to lose it, and Nikolai couldn’t be more excited. Honestly feel like he’d be nervous, not wanting to hurt her, even as he’s slowly opening her up with his fingers and she’s moaning, or when she’s begging for him to put it in already as he shush’s her and tells her to be patient.

Ultimately I think I’d be the softest experience ever, and he’d be nothing but gentle and attentive to her, do you think you could write something like this?? (Sorry for it being long again omg but I had sm to say 😭) and obv take ur time <33 🫶🏽

I'm so obsessed with your soft dom Nik thoughts anon like you have absolutely no idea. They wrack around in my brain like a pinball machine. I can't explain it to you any better than that, and I absolutely adore it.

PAIRING f!virgin!reader x Nikolai RATING R - Restricted [ Content warnings: 18+ mdni, soft dom!Nikolai, fingering, soft sex ]

He definately wouldn't care whether or not you're a virgin. To him, it isn't something that really matters much to him. If anything, when considering the act itself, it almost brings up, like you said, a sense of nervousness or anxiety to him in the fear that could possibly come with hurting you.

He isn't a small man, after all. In all aspects.

But when you come to him one night when he's lying down on the couch, spread out comfortably and ready to watch a movie with you, hearing you whine and keen out to him about how you need him... who is he to deny you? You - his sweet, precious, beautiful girl, needing to be taken care of.

That's his job as your boyfriend, after all. Is it not?

He brings you onto his lap, hands on your hips gently kneading the flesh of your thighs, keeping it simple at first as he kisses along your skin, slow and calculated, ensuring he lavishes all the attention he can possibly give to you. To worship and adore you in all of the ways that you deserve.

Hot, heavy, messy kisses, nothing short of tongue and teeth. Sloppy. Wandering hands that grab and grope, your flesh spilling out between the gaps of his fingers. Uneven, shaky, gasping breaths from the both of you, so desperate for more, yet equally trying to keep the situation controlled.

But you need more. And he gives it to you.

He switches your positions a bit, making you lay with your back to his chest, one of his big, warm hands shimmying itself beneath the waistband of those pretty, loose shorts that you had been wearing, two fingers gently teasing around your sex.

You're so fuckin' wet and it drives him absolutely crazy.

He'd use two of his fingers to spread your folds apart, his chin resting on your shoulder as he listens to all of the pretty sounds you make as he teases your cunt. Even with two separate layers of fabric separating your pussy from the open air, both of you can still hear just how wet you are.

One of his fingers is about as thick as two of your own, after all, so after long minutes of waiting, even one of his fingers makes you cry and whimper. And fuck, the way he just explores your insides, all slow and calculating, and then, when you're ready, sinking another finger into your drooling pussy.

Nik's singing you praises all the while, too. Pressing soft kisses to your shoulder as your head falls back onto him, whispering about how warm you are, how you're making such a good mess of his hands, how nice you sound, how you look fucking gorgeous falling apart because of him when he's barely even do anything.

You can feel him getting hard under you, too. Especially with the way his free hand presses down on your lower tummy, molding you into him as he slowly finger fucks you until you practically have tears in your eyes. As loving and caring as he's being, he's going so fucking slow, never giving you enough to be able to cum.

Whimper and whine all you want, but he's exploring your pussy! He wants to make sure he knows how every inch of your insides feel, the way your slick drips down his wrist, the little squeezes you make around his fingers. Let a man have his fun. :(

"Patience, апушка (sweetheart)."

He stresses, tutting you softly as you beg for him to go faster, for him to make you cum, and for him to just fuck you already. It's like he's patronizing you, almost - but the honey coating his voice is too similar to a siren's call, and it simply encourages you to listen.

And oh, is it worth it.

Nikolai is a man of many talents, but making you cum in record time and with such accuracy and precision is, in your humble opinion, his most impressive one.

He moves his arm that holds that hand that was inside of you under your leg, his other moving down to your clit as he presses you into him - even if you thrash, it won't stop him - as he just abuses that poor little pussy of yours, fucking his fingers in and out of you with one hand, curling them against and targeting that spot that makes it hurt to breathe while his other slaps and rubs your clit until you're seizing.

He makes you cum so hard you swear on you forget how to breath properly, cries so high pitched you can't even hear them, drool slipping out of the corner of your mouth, foot cramping, sweat coating every inch of your body.

Every sensation is just too overwhelming but gods, does it feel good.

That's why it almost pisses you off when he asks if he went too far and if you're okay, helping bring you back down to Earth with gentle kisses and a concerned voice. He brings his hands away from your sensitive pussy (not before licking his hands clean and almost cumming from the taste), tracing gentle figures across your skin as he waits for you.

He's so worried that, even from fingering you, he might have hurt you in some way. Even when you reassure him that you're okay and that's the hardest you ever came and that you still want more, he's so worried and hesitant even if he doesn't outwardly show it. You're his girl, and he'd never want to hurt you. :(

Beg him a little more and a little harder, though, and he'll cave. After all, he still hasn't taken care of his own arousal, his cock so hard he swears to himself that it hurts, and you're pussy is all stretched out and wet and waiting for him, right? And you still want his cock to fill you up, right?

And he does just that. He pulls his cock out from his own joggers that he had been wearing, shimmying them down just enough as he pushes the fabric of your shorts to the side. And fuck, the way you're drooling from your little hole has him weak - even seeing your pussy has him on the brink.

He's so cocky and smug all of the time, so he can't help himself than to be a bit of a tease, tracing his tip along the outside of your pussy, tapping it against your clit and tracing it down towards your hole, never pushing in, just having his fun. But even he can't take it for long, having to bite his lip and just go for it.

He's so careful, distracting you with a hot and heavy make-out session, hands at your hips, gently massaging them as he sinks you down onto his cock inch by inch. Not only is his cock thick, but it's so big that even a few inches in has you whining and needing a rest before he tries to keep going.

"So good for me... doing such a good job, yeah? Look at you. Look at how well you take me."

He's talking to himself and he knows it, but he doesn't care. Not when you're so warm and wet and willing to take him.

When it comes to him actually fucking you, he takes his time - similar and different to earlier. His fingers are different from his dick, obviously, so now he's especially careful and considerate about your comfort - always checking in, always making sure you're okay and that you're feeling good as he bounces you up and down on himself.

Have you ever heard that thing that guys will avoid looking at you and do things like a times table in their head to stop themself from cumming so quick? No? Yes? Whatever the case, lucky for you, that isn't Nik.

He's so obsessed with the facial expressions you're making, the sounds that are coming out past (both of) your lips that his own climax climbs up with such suddenness and force, slamming into him as he does you.

A broken curse in Russian falls from his tongue as he can't help himself, his balls emptying out into you without warning, the faintest whimper coming from him as he fucks himself into overstimulation just to make you cum. :( He doesn't care how sensitive he is, he just wants to see you fall apart.

And just... ugh. Aftercare king >>>

He makes sure you're comfortable and gets you all cleaned up (even though he himself has trouble walking from how hard he came), bring you some water and some pain killers and something to eat if you ask, and makes sure you get all the praise and love you could ever ask for. <3

[sunarc]

I have been summoned, I have a weird headcannons but I just thought of it, tsukki, Akashi, wakatoshi and whoever else you wanna add, with a s/o that’s a streamer/tiktoker/YouTuber.

HQ Boys with a Streamer S/O

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long babe i hope you didn’t forget about me 🫣! please enjoy and send more ask my loves it may take long but i will make it happen boo

Bokuto honestly loves that you’re a streamer. He watches every video that you put out. Sometimes you’ll catch him sneaking in the camera and waving at the viewers with the biggest smile on his face. He is your biggest supporter and will even promote your videos on his social media. If you ever ask him to do a video with you he will be ecstatic. He definitely takes all the shine when he gets on camera, I mean come on he’s a hot tall guy with a personality so bright it’s almost blinding. He’s a sweet boy and will always support you.

Akaashi finds it so cute that you’re a streamer. He likes to watch you record your videos and he’ll have the sweetest smile on his face. He loves that you're doing something that makes you happy. If you ever put him in the camera he’ll get all shy with the softest blush on his cheeks. He’s a shy guy but the fans absolutely love him. He prefers watching though. He likes to see how excited you get about different topics, your happiness is his happiness.

Ushijima honestly doesn’t understand it at first. He first assumes you are on call when he hears you talking to the camera but easily picks up the fact that you are a content creator. He enjoys watching what you create. If he isn’t informed on the topic that you create he will do research so that he can talk to you about the subject. He likes talking to you about things he loves so any chance he gets he will bring up something you do. If he is ever on camera he will put on a smile and wave . He isn’t camera shy, he is just a man of very few words. He’ll give you forehead kisses before waving goodbye to the viewers and taking his leave. He enjoys watching your streams, he enjoys everything you do.

Tsukishima won’t admit it but he loves that you’re a streamer. He’ll scoff when he sees you streaming but is tuning in each and every episode. He’lol even promote your videos. He’s such a grouch when he’s on camera though. He just has a grumpy pout that viewers find adorable. He’ll wave but that’s the most you can get out of him. There are rare times when you catch him being nice on a stream like bringing you food or giving you kisses.

[pitlanepeach]

Welcome to Review with Em… let’s be unhinged together

Warnings: Fully Unhinged. I died at least 5 times reading this chapter… so currently I am writing from the underworld of ghosts, Rick Riordan might write me as a child of Hades depending on how the next chapters follow. If people actually read this I might do it again… (just why not?). I am 100% biased. This is color coded! It absolutely contains spoilers (sorry not sorry).

How to start, well, since we are going Amelia Style, we start with the code:

🩷 Fluffiness 🚨: This part might end your life, perhaps check with your heart doctor before proceeding

🩶 A tiny Angst that squeezes the heart but it’s proceeded by comfort in hug form.

🩵 We need more of this (cause, it can’t be only me that needs more of it. Right?)

❤️ Dear Lord how do I move on with my life after reading this?

February 2022

🩵 Pietra has a playlist for Amelia, and it’s called Soft Amelia Approved (and that is written in literally the first paragraph…).

🩶 Amelia has a single girl friend and that is Pietra, and they then proceed to love on each other like sisters. (Still first part content)

🩷 Lando being the softest person on Earth, and the boyfriend we all want, I quote:

She froze when she saw him. “You’re staring at me.”

“You—” Lando blinked. “I’ve forgot how to say words.”

(…)

“You look like— I don’t even know. So beautiful, baby. We should just ditch the red carpet, yeah? Just drive a million miles and never have anyone other than me look at you ever again.”

I DIED, YOU DIED. WE DID DIE.

❤️ Lando saying future Mrs. Norris… yes, please. More. NOW.

🩶 Amelia going fully neurodivergent on the red carpet (I would totally also! I have been told so many times that i make weird faces at people that I was relieved when i found out I had ADHD and that I wasn’t insane)… anyways… we proceed to full protection mode Lando even suggesting to leave. Please this is the level of fluffiness we want in life!!!

🩵 Amelia being in awe and completely soft and completely in Love seeing Lando shine and everyone witnessing this beautiful girl smitten for her man.

❤️ “Is this what we do now?” She asked, tilting her face up to him. “Is this our life? Fancy award shows and then this?”

“Yup,” Lando said proudly, twirling his pasta. “This is the dream, babe.”

“Is this what we do now?” She asked, tilting her face up to him. “Is this our life? Fancy award shows and then this?”

“Yup,” Lando said proudly, twirling his pasta. “This is the dream, babe.”

(No words needed… if you think they are needed just go back cause you have read it wrong.)

🩵 Amelia color coding the regulations… please I love her so much….

🩷 Lando asking Amelia to say that she is proud of him… and she proceeds to gift him with a teddy bear wearing LN4… (I SCREAMED)

🩷 Amelia talking in Spanish and Lando losing himself… we all want more of this. I know that for a fact!!!! Unhinged Lando is why you are all reading this review now!!!

🩵 I am biased (it was on the warningsssssss), Celeste and Maxie glimpse… I 🥹🥹🥹🥹

P.S. I am officially editing/proofreading this and no one is ready… but don’t worry I have screamed multiple times for all of you already and Peachy Peach knows it.

March 2022

🩵 We NEED more for Charles-Amelia 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Plus Lando being softy after… please….

🩶 Amelia having a crappy day, Lando noticing and making her smile instantly with a single suggestion…. If they weren’t engaged already I would be fully saying: YOU BETTER MARRY HER. NOW.

🩵 I am so obsessed with how invested Amelia is in Oscar. That sometimes I forget Amelia is not a real person and I have caught myself saying: yeah he will de great Amelia is mentoring him… SOMEONE SEND HELP.

April 2022

🩷 Lando knowing not only what brioche to buy her but her temperature and texture preferences… say no more.

🩵 Them developing a neurodivergent friendly house is PEAK CONTENT. If you didn’t catch on that go re read this NOW. (Plus they are super cute when they do projects together…). Plus they totally already act like a married couple (AND WE LOVE IT.)

🩶 The entire paddock going on a rescue mission to save Amelia from a media crisis, please give us more of this. You can break our hearts with it, media people suck, you can break it because you Peach know how to stitch it up again like a QUEEN. So break it, please.

🩵 Amelia having the level of self confidence I aspire to one day have in life when she is telling Zack Osc and her will be joining McLaren.

🩵 Amelia and Pietra fighting over monopoly, I love it. More please.

🩷 Lando’s insta post 🥹🥹🥹🥹. Matching bracelets and cute Amelia in her weighted blanket. Also her comment and his reply… oh I completely died here. I DIED AGAIN. But yeah it’s okay.

🩵 I love Amelia and Max’s relationship so much! Please tell me he will be her best man or something. But I totally see Pietra as her maid of honor too… shit this is hard. Perhaps you do them both? 😂😂😂😂👀

May 2022

🩷 I am still dead with this (warning): Tipsy completely honeymooned Amelia and Lando in the club and they proceed to their private after love party… STOOOOP…

I haven’t recovered yet.

🩶 Lando crashing again (Amelia going into shock for a bit, him calming her) and Amelia super mad on the fact that she isn’t married to him yet…. And him going: You. Me. Tesco. Now? THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR!!!

🩷 Amelia going full wifey mode and taking care of sick Lando. Then we proceed to the top 5 parts of this: him going full ADHD and not remembering she measured his temp. And JUMPING INTO: Oh right, I am gonna be a dad, I need to protect her at all costs.

And then Amelia crying with Pietra because she spiraled over a potential pregnancy… (cause you did kill me before and then again with this second part.)

I swear that if you don’t give us Amelia pregnant by the end of 2024 I WILL have nightmares on this. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

June 2022

🩵 Them planning the wedding is just so domestic and cuteeeeeee. Can’t wait for the wedding and everything that comes after.

❤️ Mark nodded once, slowly. “You always did have good taste in underdogs.”

“I’m marrying one,” she said dryly.

(Please tell me I am not the only one who can’t wait for Oscar to be F1?)

Final notes

Peachy Peach, thank you so much for sharing your geniuses with us mortals.

EM ILYSM.

Your brain? Incredible. A colour coded review!? Stop. Amelia oils be so proud.

I’ve read this like three times and every time I find something new to laugh about so tysm for actually taking the time to write this out😭

Now, we’ve got a 15k Invisible String chapter to proof today, so I hope you got some good sleep after this🫶🏻😭

[beyinuo]

artist and canvas.

@beclaudine

they say that patience is one of the virtues of womanhood. not that yinuo has ever considered herself a particularly virtuous woman, but sometimes she finds that sitting back and waiting quietly pays off. she sits still now, eyes closed, the softest smile drawn across her lips. she likes to imagine herself as the picture of femininity and beauty in moments like this; of course, she knows that she's a pretty girl. but the girl on her lap is almost prettier. her touch is so gentle, so meticulous as she dabs color onto yinuo's face. the girl opens her eyes and smiles brighter when claudine's focused gaze is the only thing that greets her.

"am i your masterpiece yet?" she's never seen claudine's work before and yet she knows that it will be beautiful. when she offered to be a canvas, there was never any doubt that such a graceful, elegant woman would steer her wrong. yinuo just thinks that it's a shame that she can't keep her eyes open while the other girl applies makeup there. she can't get enough of watching the tiniest changes of expression on her face; the way her brow furrows in concentration, the way she holds her breath to steady her hand before touching the brush to skin.

and this is only the very beginning of their night. some might consider that it hasn't even started yet. the party doesn't start for another half an hour and it's more fashionable to arrive a little late anyway. yinuo's sure that they'll have a good time but for now she's content to savor this moment for what it is. could she do her own makeup? absolutely. but a pretty girl, hyperfocused on her? why would she ever turn that down?

"you know we could just ditch and stay here. i think i still have soju in the fridge," she half-jokingly makes the suggestion. not that yinuo has ever turned her nose up at a night out, something just tells her that she wouldn't regret a night in with claudine either. "or is that lame?" she laughs, and then takes a breath to force her face to relax again. "okay, sorry, back to canvas-mode."

[yourlocaltrashpandaa]

😈..

Lion-O then started gently kissing each bruise he could see on my trembling body, gliding his tongue over every love bite that decorated my skin~ the softest whimper escaping his throat..

“Azura.. I-I.. I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful.”

His sweet lips ravishing me in the softest way possible, as if he didn’t just absolutely fuck my brains out merely a few moments ago~ I opened my mouth a few times to try and speak.. but letting out a raspy grown as he took the opportunity to lay butterfly kisses across my throat~ after a few more tries I was finally able to use my voice a little bit..

“Lion-O~ don’t.. apologize… so good.. y-you were.. SO Good~ m-my sweet Mate~”

I couldn’t move at all, my body so deliciously sore and tingling from how much he had me cum.. humming In content as he slowly shifted our bodies, so that he now lay down on his back with me resting on his firm chest~ his arms wrapping around me, one hand on my ass the other tangled in my long hair, rubbing a soothing circular motion on my scalp as he started purring, finally feeling satisfied with our first Mating being completed. the sound was soothing, but the feeling of it gently vibrating through his body and down to his still buried dick deep inside me.. I bit my lip.. “D-Darling~” “Yes, My Queen?”

“You, were serious.. right? Having Cubs~ it wasn’t just.. in the moment?”

He paused, gently bringing his hand that was in my hair down to my side.. after a very tense few seconds, he carefully sat up against the cave wall, making sure he wasn’t moving me too much. the change of position still caused a faint moan to pass my lips, my body melting flush against his soft fur and toned muscles. slowly, Lion-O glided one hand up from my hip to gently cup my cheek, assuring it never once left contact with my skin.. his eyes flickered of burning desire, a sly grin playing on his lips, bringing his face down to press his forehead to mine, our noses brushing lightly.. his voice deep and raspy as he all but whispered against my lips~.

“I.. it was, Sudden.. but I meant it Azura. I did say it in the fog of my Mating rut.. but, I DO want cubs.. after seeing how GOOD you are with Kit&Kat, how you care for all the children of the sanctuary? I’ve wanted nothing more but to fuck my cubs in your belly, Breed you so full till you swell~ for so long..”

His words both delighted, and infuriated me.. When he leaned in to kiss me, I pinched his thigh..

“Ow!?” He looked confused and pouted.. but I spoke up before he could open his mouth again.

“ONE, it’s OUR cubs! Make that slip again and I won’t let you cum in me for the next WEEK! TWO, I’ve been trying to get us some alone time for nearly a month! A MONTH I’ve spent waiting on you, we could’ve been Mating this whole time, We could already be pregnant at this point! I’ll give you 30 seconds to explain why exactly you, my MATE, has avoided claiming me to the point of suffering a RUT… time starting NOW.”

He whined at my threat, knowing I would deny him as punishment, looking panicked with big puppy eyes..

“A-At first I was just scared of hurting you during my Mating cycle, so I thought waiting till it was over to officially Claim you would be best.. But it got worse, till it became a Rut, I’d never experienced that before, it genuinely terrified me… I’m sorry, Azura.”

(Ps. This fic will be the first smut I’ve ever posted.. 🫣 also he dose in fact, get thoroughly punished riiiight after this~)

My honest reaction:

I love it! Your Oc; Azura is feisty 👀

Can’t wait to see more 😏🥰