#absolutely coming in clutch for my mental health

[thestarsatemysoul]

don't cry bestie fun and funky shark podcast to listen too

[jsprnt]

your vacation with your best friend doesn’t go as expected

jude bellingham x childhood best friend! reader

A/N: tuesday became thursday, but it’s up now!! based on this request!

W/C: 2.534

"wait for me! why are you walking so fast?!"

you shout, hurrying up and fastening your pace to match your best friend's younger brother's, jobe.

the white sandals on your matching white-polished feet, click-clack against the ground in repeated noises.

to some it would sound absolutely horrendous, it attracted attention from your surroundings. the sudden attention would make some squirmy, making them walk slower or even freeze in their spot.

to you, it was the sound of heaven. clicking flip-flops or sandals against the ground meant: warm weather and, of course, being on vacation.

"not my fault you're so much shorter.." the younger boy complains, black sunglasses framing his face- accompanied by his attitude, it made him look even more sassy.

"do jude and you, like- practice the same sentences or retorts?" you question, panting when you’re finally walking side by side.

"mhm, we have a whole book.." he hums sarcastically, and you swear you can see him roll his eyes through the black shades.

"of course, expected from the brothers who brainstorm instagram captions together.." you giggle at the memory, recalling the wrinkles and frowns on their face from overthinking so much. only for the final caption to be a single word or emoji..

"you don't understand.." jobe mumbles, throwing you a glance.

"it has to be absolutely perfect, it gives .."

"aura."

"aura.." you say the same word in unison, giving him a grin.

"yes, that book probably exists.."

"whatever, just come in..."

"I'm right behind you.." you speak, playing with the plastic bag in your hand as you both stand in the elevator. going up to your hotel room floor.

the white, tacky printed plastic bag was evidence of your quick aloe vera run to the local spanish pharmacy.

you knew, no matter the melanin in a persons skin. sun protection and after sun care were essential for everyone's health and wellbeing.

of course, jobe was nice enough to accompany you. in case you'd get scammed into paying twice the normal amount as a foreigner- who definitely didn't speak a lick of spanish.

well, jobe wasn't a pro either. though, his google translate expertise is always very welcome.

"okay, be ready in 45.."

"only? who said that?" you question, mentally calculating how you'll shower, do your makeup, and fix your hair in that time frame.

"jude just texted me.."

"isn't he the one who takes like an hour to do anything?" you scoff, pulling your room key out of your handbag.

"I don't know, y/n. would you be so kind to hurry up.." jobe gives you a fake smile, pushing you into your room.

"I'm gonna kill him if he's any later than me!" you exclaim, shutting your door.

you take a quick breath, quickly moving around your hotel room. you had your outfit and shoes picked out already, so you could speed through your routine without worrying about that.

you use every single minute properly, swinging your door open right at the 45-minute mark.

you adjust your dress, looking out your door to see both jude and jobe, leaning against the wall. jobe face deep into his phone.

"so.." you say, eyeing them carefully. though, your eyes stay glued on your best friend, jude.

the beige, linen shirt, complementing his, vacation bronzed skin tone perfectly. with his sleeves rolled up, you can feel your face heat up more than the current marbella weather.

just like, when you'd received a fat kiss on the cheek from a nine-year-old jude, back in year four, when you'd finally passed your time tables after trying so hard.

"you guys look nice, stylist?" you inquire, looking them up and down.

"all us.." jude chimes, proud smile on his face. eyes crinkling as the corners of his mouth curl up.

"mhm, improved.." you mumble, stepping out of your room and shutting your door. quickly tucking your room card in your clutch.

"okay, but you've improved so much. remember you almost died for those led, light-up sneakers? and now you're wearing high heels to go out.."

jobe pretends to shed a few fake tears, making you roll your eyes.

"come on, if we start talking about a fashion terrorist. you're number one on the list, before you even had a stylist or all this.."

"can't lie about that, man.." jobe laughs, already following you to the elevator. you don't notice the lingering eyes on you, jude's eyes stuck on your back.

eventually, after quite a cute taxi ride, with the driver coincidentally being a madridista, you arrive at the beach club. sun beaming down on your moisturized skin.

you quickly become busy with everyone around you, tipping back drink after drink.

you'd never been much of a social person, at least not before jude started dragging you to different parties or vacations.

I mean, it was difficult for you two to be apart from each other for so long. despite the fact that you lived so far from each other lately.

when you'd met back in primary school, at age six. your parents knew you would be joined by the hip for the rest of your lives.

playing in the sandbox, and building sand castles went to taking up football together. only for you to fall out after picking up a different hobby. while jude grew a sudden affection for the sport, making it his life goal to succeed in the football industry, just like his idols.

his focus and passion for the sport definitely stretched you both apart for a while. only for you guys to grow a stronger bond when he told you about his move to germany, to sign with bvb.

you became a busy university student, trying for the life of you to understand the effects of a torn acl for your next anatomy exam.

an aspiring orthopedic surgeon and a successful football player, made an interesting duo of friends.

you swirl the cosmopolitan in your hand, watching the pink liquid move in the clear glass with sudden interest.

you slowly pull yourself from your half-drunk trance, looking to your left, when you hear your best friend's name being shouted by an unfamiliar, shrill voice.

you watch as a blonde, fully made up lady touches jude on his shoulder. the light, but intimate touch makes you squint. a sudden ache starting to settle in your chest when you watch her perfectly manicured nails scratch against the fabric of his shirt, sleeves tight around his veiny biceps.

you clench your eyes closed, a sigh leaving your mouth before you move your head away from the sudden, torturous sight.

when you look down, you immediately notice your plain, stress-bitten nails. the sight is unsettling, though familiar- with all your exams, and your parttime job, piling stress on your body.

you run your fingers down your thumb nail, wishing you could fully enjoy your early twenties like the girl who just jumped into the pool, wearing the prettiest mini dress, without a care in the world. Or, like the other girl, who's mingling around, sniffling out a potential kiss or cuddle for the night.

you flicker your gaze back to jude, his hand going over to stabilize the blonde bombshell in front of him. keeping her up with a hand on his back, and a handsome smile on his face.

you bite your lip unconsciously, drawing blood when the girl smiles back. the blood mixes with your glittery gloss, making you swipe your tongue down your bottom lip.

jealousy, or whatever this was- it made you sick, nauseous. you tip your drink, the rest of the liquid entering your veins with fire.

love wasn't a first come, first serve..

you get up from your little seat, being back at the bar in no time to get yourself another one to soothe the burn and ache in your chest.

"y/n?" you look to your left, making eye contact with a relaxed-looking jobe. a can nursed in his right hand.

"you shouldn't drink, you're a baby.." you mutter, drunkenly ordering yourself a water.

alcohol cleaned up wounds right?

yes.

but, not emotional ones..

seeing jobe, so calm and collected, brings you back from your mental breakdown.

you knew, even with your common sense hanging by a single thread. your current predicament would never, ever switch up suddenly- just because you're actively damaging your liver.

"I'm above eighteen, 'member?" jobe speaks, eyes on the way you're sipping on your room temperature water.

"still a baby.." you mutter, giving him a look from above the rim of your glass.

he shivers, even with the weather reaching record temperatures, your scolding look scares him a little.

"mood swings? you were so jumpy and happy in the car.."

you groan, discreetly moving your head so jobe can see the sight you are being tortured with.

"he's literally just talking.."

"he's touching her everywhere.." you groan, looking up at jobe.

the younger boy knew about the way you secretly admired his older brother. it was difficult to hide after he'd stumbled upon a random note in your notebook when you were seventeen, containing pros and cons about dating jude, written by you.

you were so gone, the cons list was emptier than a pigeon's nest.

"he's not touching anyone, like at all. actually he's walking towards us.."

you gasp, eyes going wide as ever as you raise your head. afraid to look behind you in case he's right there.

"if you're lying, I-"

"what's all this? talking shit without me?"

you do a silent prayer, closing your eyes for a second before twisting your bar stool around.

you gasp when your chair wobbles, sudden, muscular arms wrapping themselves around your waist to keep you sitting down.

"you okay? drunk already, darlin'?"

you almost whimper at the nickname, clearing your throat when you jump out of your initial shock.

"mhm, had some water just now.."

torture, torture, and torture..

you clench your teeth uncontrollably, resting face looking something like you're about to explode..

"you don't look okay.." he mutters, bringing his hand up to cup your face, checking your temperature with his palm. 

"I'm fine.."

You shove his hands off, looking away. you try to keep your emotions at bay, the strings of your patience on the verge of snapping violently.

"I need- to go to the restroom.." you finally squeak, getting up and brushing shoulders with an incredibly confused jude.

the interaction garners a couple looks, and jobe immediately nudges jude. realizing he could become the match maker of the century..

"follow her, come on.." he urges, pushing his older brother away.

"I mean, did I say something wrong? Or did I do something bad?"

"go.."

the single worded response by jobe, has him following you. hot on your heels.

you gasp when you feel a sharp tug on your arm, getting pulled into a small room, right next to the staff room.

you blink, opening your mouth to scream bloody murder, but stop when you hear jude's voice.

"it's me, you're okay.."

he mutters quietly, and you can hear him rummaging around. finally, his hand makes contact with the light switch. the very dim light, making it possible to see him.

"what was that back there?" he questions, and just like the other occasions you've witnessed him being confused or angry, his accent thickens.

brown eyes stare into yours, and you shiver before looking away.

"said I'm fine, jude.."

"you cannot fool me, y/n. we've shared too many years together for me to not notice when you're not acting right." his hand reaches for yours, and you let him. like a love sick fool, you allow him to cross boundaries and enter your portal of comfort.

"you must like her, go ahead and date her.." you finally speak after a long silence, making jude's hold on your hand tighten.

"who?" he breathes, knotting his brows together with a frown. his heart begins thumping harder in his chest.

"the woman you were talking with..

you can feel immense embarrassment brewing in your chest. your breath shaky as you look back into his beautiful brown eyes.

"the woman I was - how does that indicate I like her? I can't talk with a woman, just because?"

you close your eyes in humiliation, biting your lip.

"is that not what it was?"

"chatting with a random person does not mean I fancy them.."

you clear your throat, no turning back now.

"oh, how else do you start showing you fancy someone? standing there like a robot?"

"you're unbelievably stupid.."

"I'm stupid?!" you question, voice high as your eyes widen in surprise.

your breath hitches when you feel a hand on your cheek, again jude's hand is warm. soft but his hold is rough around the edges. making sure you're looking directly into his eyes.

"you're so stupid, in the fifteen years of us knowing each other. have you, ever thought of why I've never brought a single girl home? introduced a girl as my girlfriend to you? to my parents even?"

your jaw closes, not a single peep leaving your lips.

you can feel his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your cheek, it gives you goosebumps instantly. your eyes not leaving his for a millisecond.

"now you won't even speak.."

he sighs, moistening his plump lips with the tip of his tongue.

the sight lures you in fully, the look of longing in your eyes, mixed with an unknown feeling of euphoria.

jude notices the eyes, those eyes made him melt every time he saw you. since the age of fourteen, you'd been the sole person who'd occupy the romantic emotions in his very heart and soul..

it's his cue, he thinks. this is it.

you're incredibly jealous, or sad he thinks. the way you're looking at him, all allured and eager.

without even realizing it, your lips inch closer. soft, warm breaths hitting each other's, makes you almost whimper. his hold on your jaw tightens, and he presses his plump lips against yours in a fervent kiss.

your hand reaches up to his bicep, the muscles on display the entire evening- tensing up under your needy touch.

he groans into the kiss, both eyes fluttering shut in relief.

a hand travels down to your waist, pads of his fingers making contact with the exposed skin on your midriff. softly running his hands down your burning skin.

he pulls back for air, your foreheads touching intimately as you both pant. lingering smile on your face when you look up at him.

"I love you and your pretty mouth, but next time don't jump to conclusions with this smart brain of yours.."

you chuckle. initial shock gone, earlier anger and frustration washed away by the single touch of his lips onto yours.

"I know, I'm sorry. I- I love you too.."

the words feel foreign falling from your lips, especially with knowing who's on the receiving end of your receptieve answer.

"why don't you just help me get used to your taste?”

he tilts your head, pressing a soft kiss against your temple.

after years of crushing, right now, within a heartbeat, he's yours.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Review 8 in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

60 hours in 58 actual gameplay

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Part 7 is here.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard

Critical review CW strong language.

Well. If I'm right about who the Gloom Howler is, and I'm almost certain after the Cauldron... I really fucking question the reading comprehension of whoever wrote that arc.

She loathed doing what she was ordered to do to the griffins. She saved the last clutch of eggs, left secret clues on where to find the nest kept in stasis, and answered her calling early so no one could get the information out of her. All in the hope that future generations would be worthy of griffins again. And now she's doing the exact opposite? Seriously?

I mean, I'm aware that the supplementary material isn't something everyone is gonna read, but as far as I know the printed materials are considered canon. Which means they've taken a sad, epic story and completely reversed it in a retcon I'm not sure I can forgive them for.

I've marinated myself in the Lore of this world. That's an incredible disservice to her sacrifices to save the last remaining griffins. It's a disservice to the writer of Last Flight, too. That's not even touching on the 'of course when you shove a blade into the bones of a roughly 400 year dead arch demon... it will come out bloody?' Excuse me now? Someone has watched too much jurassic park, because that would be utterly impossible.

Once again, I'm asking myself What. The. Actual. Fuck. were the devs and writers thinking?

Surely they know at least some of us have read the printed stuff?

Did they think we'd have forgotten? Unfortunately for these retconning incompetents, (I am so, so sick of retconning in general, and fed the fuck up with it in this game) autistic and AuDHD folks like me tend to have razor keen memories about our special interests. Whoopsies.

Last Flight wasn't my fav of the books, but it was beautifully written and heartbreaking with a gleaming golden string of hope.

And this is the end of that story? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I can honestly think of only one way they could make that make sense. And my trust in Bioware writers now lives below sewer level, so I'm not hopeful they'll go that way.

It's possible that I'm wrong, but understanding and critiquing media is my actual job when I'm not recovering from a pulmonary embolism. And yes, absolutely, I could've written far, far better material.

How. Can someone please tell me HOW a company that has something as successful as DAI under their belt... makes... this? I swear this game (DAV) is like some of the worst AI written shite I saw in ESO back when I played that years ago.

I guess I should say machine written. Whatever. I've heard ESO was doing that a long while ago. And the blah storylines and boring assed questlines proved it.

This game reminds me of that. Though, I think they were probably written by actual humans... I really have to question where exactly they scraped up the writers for them.

The street? A back alley? A mud pit? Did they give apes access to a keyboard and use whatever claptrap they came up with? (Yes. They did. Humans are apes.)

It's common enough in Hollyweird that writers working on a particular IP (intellectual property... IE Dragon Age or Witcher etc.) often utterly loathe the source material. I fail to understand why or how that would be okay, because we can fucking tell, you know? You can tell when a writer loves their work, and when they don't. And we wonder why so many things in hollyweird fail.

Is that what happened to DAV?

They had a fucking blueprint for fuck's sake! DAI was RIGHT THERE. It won GOTY if I recall correctly. No one wanted a game exactly like DAI but dear fucking gods something... not this... would've been far preferable. If they'd used DAI as a sort of map? A guideline or outline? DAV might’ve been a good game. And the sad part is that it actually could have been. With just a little more care, less streamlining to mediocrity, better editing and writing? This could've been another win for Bioware. As is, if it wins anything I'll be suspicious of bribery.

It's just so... meh. Where it's not outright bad.

And even though I'm under media blackout so I can write a truly unbiased review... it wouldn't surprise me if some fans were going gaga over this travesty of a game. Just because it has Dragon Age in the title.

It sucks when you want desperately to love something. But you just can't because you can see the flaws. And the flaws far, far outweigh the good parts.

And none of those good parts are even unique. They're just lifted from other games.

And I got the load up with no CC glitch again. Lost about an hour of playtime figuring out when it happened and which save to reload. I'd really hoped the damned hour long update would've taken care of that.

What a sad mess this game is.

Though on the positive, I do love the new takedown mechanic. And it's oddly satisfying to clear blight. I like tracking things. IRL too. I grew up in a subsistence hunting family. Though, I always just used a camera. I know how to track stuff, so that's fun. I like the ballista and zip lines. There are good parts of the game... but they aren't the parts that really matter.

I had to turn Taash down for Romance because it happened way too fast. I barely felt like I knew them, and my demi ass needs more than what we got before committing to a relationship.

It's warming up with Lucanis, Emmrich, and Davrin. I'm not decided yet. And this is where a polyam mod would be great. There's no reason polyam shouldn't have been included in the game. It could've been just a few characters okay with it like BG3, but the rep and possibilities would at least be there.

I'm incredibly fed the fuck up with the narrative that turns Solas into an awful person. They're trying so fucking hard to paint him that way. They're hammering it home so hard I really can't recommend (at this point) that Sollavellans play it. It's possible that will change, but... sigh. They've even got my Rook saying negative shit about him. Shouldn't that be a choice that I get to make about my Rook? How they feel about Solas?

And if I could kick the incredibly unintelligent and massively fucking annoying Lace Harding off a cliff, I absolutely would. Hard. And laugh while I did it.

Everyone blames Solas. Why is everyone so far up Mythal's asshole that they're forgetting it was always her requiring her bound servant IE enslaved spirit who never even wanted a body (forgetting that part?) Solas to do what she said. That he tried over and over again to dissuade her?

You know, as a friend said, they could've hired a bunch of Ao3 fic writers and paid them in pizza or waffles and come out with better story lines than this.

Oh, but no, it's all Solas's fault. And the narrative is so fucking heavy handed on that that it's honestly nauseating me a little.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Section 9 here.

[rainswolfs]

LUCIEN DID YOU FINISH PARALIVE??? did you like it tell me your thoughts !!!!

miki!!!! nothing could've prepared me for that trip I know you warned me but nothing could've prepared me!!!!! i thought this is gonna be a silly music centered anime but it got messed up SO QUICKLY and you know how much I feed on that meal 😭✌

I absolutely loved the intense atmosphere and the dark twists added to the whole picture. the character designs are AMAZING and so so unique yet without feeling unnatural or out of place in their area of what they are doing and presenting, so were the artistic choices and the animation in general. ngl the choice of music and the way it was presented surprisingly really got me hooked enough to add a bunch of their songs into my playlists!! I legit loved the concept of "yeah these stage visuals are cool and all but they come at the cost of your mental health :)" that's actually SO intriguing and it tickled my brain really well.

I probably ended up loving TCW as a group the most, the two tired dads adopting traumatized kids dynamic honestly hit the spot for me. ✌ but I really did end up loving them all. there is surprisingly not a single character among the main groups I ended up not quite liking. my favorite is definitely kanata.... </3 he just checked all the boxes for me. my main gripe though is that there was so little of anne, compared to how much screentime other characters were given. sometimes anne felt so out of place with how little they actually got to have a say in anything. they should've been MORE of them honestly.

also that whole nayuta/shiki storyline had me on edge gripping my seat losing my mind everytime they added more questions to the whole ordeal. 😭✊ that part was the wildest trip I've had in a while and i loved every second of it. the whole kanata/allen dynamic also has me in it's clutches 😔✊both allen's and anne's trauma also really hit home for me ah :')

all in all I loved it miki!!!!! and I shall be forever grateful you dragged me down that road 💜✊✊✊

[straykidsreactionsandscenarios]

StayTeez Trope’Pril - Trope Prompt 3: Strangers to lovers

Post Date: 8th April 2023 Content: Fluff - Strangers to lovers : Felix x Reader Word Count: 1.3K TW?: NonIdol!AU/ Boy next door Felix/ Neighbours/ Mention of a Karen Summary: Moving away from home to start fresh, but something already makes it so much worth the move.

~ Scenario Mobile Masterlist                                     Prompt List StayTeez Trope’Pril Masterlist If you like my stuff and wanna tip, just buy me a coffee!

Moving to a whole new city, your nerves get the best of you and your shaking hands hold the keys, putting them up to the lock for your new apartment.

You needed to start fresh, everything back home caused you too much stress and harm, finding this to be the most reasonable way out. To save yourself and your mental health. But to also start a clean slate somewhere, meet new people and possibly find love.

You're trying your best to open the door as quickly as you can, so you can let your pup out of its carrier so he's free to roam the new apartment and get used to what you'll be calling your new home. You still didn't have a name for him yet, just calling him pup in the meantime until something sticks.

Being on your own means there's a lot of work involved with moving and getting things sorted but it made you feel independent, and it helped with the sense of starting new and fresh.

That was until you let Pup out of his carrier a little too soon, the door to your apartment still wedged open as he scatters out into the hallway, disappearing down the stairs.

"Pup! Come back!" You call after him, racing out of your apartment, taking your keys and locking the door to go find your dog, scared he would've escaped the building.

"Pup!" You called out again, hearing the scurried sounds of paws on the wooden flooring, trying to follow them to find your dog.

"Hey, little guy! Where's your owner?" You hear a chocolate smooth deep voice call out from the first floor, leaning over the bannister to see a guy with shoulder-length blonde hair picking up Pup.

Rushing down the flight of stairs, you almost miss your step and almost go flying across the floor, luckily being saved by the same guy holding Pup in one arm, the other wrapped around your waist to hold you up.

"I'm so sorry, I was trying to chase him down here." You sigh, clutching your chest as you try to get your breath back, hands out to reach for Pup as the guy shows a bright smile.

"Thank you so much for grabbing him, I was scared I was never going to get him." You add, holding onto the dog tightly, completely mesmerised by the beauty of the guy in front of you.

Strong but softened features, big eyes and heart-shaped lips. Lips that reveal the most beautiful smile you've ever seen and you thought you were on cloud 9. How can a guy like him exist in real life?

"No problem at all! Catch you later." He waves as he walks down the last flight of stairs, and you're watching his every movement until he disappears into the street.

"Well, at least we know we have a cute guy living here, right pup?" You giggle, nuzzling your nose into his head when you come back to your senses and start to make your way back up to your apartment.

It's taken you a few hours but you're slowly getting settled into your new apartment. Everything is mapped out where you want it and there was just the decorating left to do but in your own time. That was the least of your worries at this point.

But luckily enough, you had bought some flowers and plants to decorate the flat until you can splash some paint, cover the floors and make it slightly homely until you can get a job to sort it out properly.

Finding yourself to be absolutely exhausted after the day you've had, you decide to go to bed early, cuddled up with Pup in bed watching a favourite movie before dozing off.

Waking up with the light beaming through the windows, your panic slightly at first, sitting straight up in bed as you try to recollect your memory of where you were, the room seeming extremely strange until you remember you're home.

Just as you go to make yourself a coffee to start the day, there's a light knock on your door, confusing you as you knew you hadn't made any friends to tell where you live yet.

Slowly opening the door, you look around it at a frame of an older woman, sterned face and arms crossed. "Hey, how can I help?" You politely ask, stopping to pick up your dog the second he gets too close to the door.

"All I heard this morning was your dog barking! You shouldn't be allowed to have a pet that makes any noise!" This woman complains, holding her phone in one hand.

"Excuse me?" You reply as politely as you possibly could, "I'm sorry but you have my dog confused with another maybe? He's been quiet since we moved in. He would've woken me up if he was barking."

The woman looks down at you, snarling, "It was your dog! I live next door and all I could hear was him. I say get rid of him or I'll put in a complaint about you to the landlord!".

Before you could even get another word in, the guy from yesterday walks out of his apartment, shaking his head at the woman, "Can't you leave new residents alone? Plus it wasn't her Pup, it was yours keeping you up. Now please, excuse yourself from this poor girl's front door."

The woman storms off, slamming her door behind her as you turn to look at the guy, smiling. He couldn't help but reach out to fuss Pup on the head, scratching him behind his ear, "What was all that about?" You ask in a whisper.

"That's Agnes, ignore her. She's just another what you call, a Karen." He laughs, shrugging and not caring about the volume of his voice.

"What's the pup's name anyway?" He adds, looking at you with big shimmering eyes.

"I haven't got a name for him yet, I've been calling him pup since I got him the day before yesterday. Can't think of anything perfect for him." You reply, questioning yourself if you should also add your name in, just to get his back.

There's a moment of silence, you're thinking about how you can get to know more about this guy who's got you daydreaming already.

"And I'm Y/N. If you're going to have to help me with Agnes, you may as well know my name." You giggle in response and his smile only gets bigger.

"Hmm, Y/N. Such a pretty name. I'm Felix, nice to meet you." He holds out his hand, ready for you to shake.

For a couple of minutes, you're staring into each other's eyes, smiling whilst the dog tries to get out of your grasp, putting him down to instantly run towards Felix, relaxing in his arms when he picks him up.

"Awh, he likes you." You add teasingly, playing with your hair as you start to get a little cold standing by the door, "Would you like to come in? I've got coffee?"

Felix shares a brighter smile as he nods, stepping past you slowly into your apartment, Pup in your arms as he strokes him, "I think Toffee would suit him." He turns around, smiling, "Toffee rhymes with coffee, and I'm getting you're a huge coffee fan?".

"How did you know?" You reply with a hint of flirting in your voice.

"Toffee!" You call towards your dog, his ears perking upwards as his tail starts to wag, both you and Felix burst into laughter as he puts him down.

"Well, since Toffee seems to have a huge liking towards you and you chose his name, I guess I gotta get to know you more." You wink, placing a coffee in front of him as he smirks back at you.

"And I need to get to know about the girl who I saved from going flying down the stairs." He quips back playfully.

Already you can tell you're going to get along really well. And your new life, your home away from home is going to go really well.

~

Taglist: @hipster-shiz, @ateezreactionsandscenarios, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @bellscamander

[namtanlovesfilm]

hi axelle! do you have recent or currently airing BLs to recommend? I'm bored LOL

hi :) yes I do! I've honestly been enjoying the latest bl batch so much tbh, like it's not incredible but I'm having a great time! in order from my fave to my slightly less fave (I also included shows that stopped airing less 2 months ago):

be my favorite: it's no secret that I'm HOOKED to this show already! it really has the potential to become a favorite of mine if it plays its cards right bc I love the premise of someone disatisfied with their life traveling time to make it better, as I find it highly relatable. I also love the characters already and I think the writing & pace of the show is extremely well done so far :) episodes watched: 2/10. grade so far: 8,5/10.

bokura no shokutaku: I started this show with zero expectation & we all know that's how you get the best surprises. and yup this show has stolen my heart entirely. I literally spent the last episode clutching my chest while smiling like an idiot, it's such a wholesome, feel good show while also working through the characters' traumas & the ship is SO good! I absolutely love it :) episodes watched: 9/10. grade so far: 8,5/10.

la pluie: idk the general opinion of this show & I don't wanna know (unless it's my followers, share away babes!) but I really like it. I think the characters are very lovable, especially the brothers saengtai & saengtien, I think the acting is good, the plot is simple yet interesting & makes you want to watch more, the chemistry is very good as well, and some of the themes of the show about love, soulmates & breaking up are definitely worth exploring. overall it's also a show I look forward to every week :) episodes watched: 6/12. grade so far: 8/10.

a boss and a babe: a show I did not plan on ever watching, but I'm so glad I did! even though it's a pretty simple show &, yes, is still definitely an hr violation lmao, I really liked it. it really shows that you can make a basic show so much more interesting by developing all of its characters including its side characters, touching on their mental health & other traumas well. you can tell the writers really cared about their characters & it made for a surprisingly healthy & heartfelt show. definitely hope to see more bl shows like this one in the near future :) episodes watched: 12/12. grade: 8/10

step by step: even though this is a basic show, I also really like its writing. all of its characters are treated with care & developed well, even when it means not rushing the main relationship which might make the show boring for some. I really appreciated that the last relationship of the main character is developed so well too, it's rare to see a bl show build up the secondary lead that much, even having him kiss the main character before the main lead. it also feels more like a show about a queer relationship than a bl show to me. so while, yes, it's not perfect, and it's also definitely another hr violation lol, I am enjoying it. I wish all bl shows put in this much care into their story & characters, bc it really adds something. episodes watched: 7/12. grade so far: 8/10

love mate: I wanted to include some korean bl lol, this one was really cute & the chemistry was frankly perhaps the best I've been coming from a kbl. it's short & sweet, nothing too out of this world but I would recommend it :) episodes watched: 8/8. grade: 8/10

house of stars: lastly, this will be my controversial pick bc from what I've seen people don't like this show, and I don't love it either, but I'm kinda fascinated by it so I needed to include it. there is a lot in this show that I would change, yet I am so intrigued by its main character gun lol, I'm lowkey obsessed with him, and I am so intrigued as to how the love triangle will resolve. I don't expect it to become better with time, but I think this show stands out insanely from other bls & contrarily to what the trailer let us think it's not nearly as exploitative in terms of sex as I thought. just bc of all of that, I would honestly recommend it if you're looking for something messy, mysterious & that will probably let you down in the end lol. if you're watching it come tell me what u think of it in my asks so we can try to make sense of this show! episodes watched: 6/12. grade so far: 7,5/10

xxx

[pommedepersephone]

Demonic Self Care

I love angst, but I also want to see this sweet baby HEAL. So in honor of World Mental Health Day, I am gifting Crowley my own coping skills.

Crowley runs. 

It is completely, entirely out of character on the surface. Who would imagine this lazy bastard of a demon lacing up his trainers? Not hell, they don't imagine anything at all. But the metaphor is so obvious that it's almost comical. Crowley always has always gone in for good metaphors. And he has always been a runner, when things went pear shaped.

Pear shaped didn't even begin to describe the current state of things. 

The first time, it was a reaction born out of absolute, unassailable despair. He couldn't drive far enough, sleep long enough, drink deep enough, he wanted OUT of his head and his skin, and as he stood drunkenly clutching the hood of the Bentley he turned and ran. There was no plan just blind rage and agony and away away away. He ran until he couldn't breathe, until his legs refused to carry him, until the screaming in his head died on his lips and he felt, briefly, completely empty. It was a revelation of sorts. 

Now he does it with intention. Precision even. He marks out a route, he follows it, keeping a steady pace. He had to learn not to run to exhaustion every time. Sometimes it is nice to feel pain you have control of, but the end goal isn't punishment. 

Despite what his plants might tell you, Crowley never was one for punishment, or destruction. In fact, he's managed to navigate the world without having to do much of either. He has always been so good at improvising, working with whatever he had at hand. The root of creativity is not the ability to see what isn't there, but to see what IS and what can be. Goats grow wings, angels grow soft. And he's been so good at simply accepting - no, not accepting, appreciating - others as they are. The idiosyncricies and contradictions, and the wonderful grey space in the middle where all the best things exist. Except when it comes to himself. (And his plants.)

Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever. 

So here he is, working with what he has at hand. A base urge to run. A mind good at mapping possibilities. A bastard of a demon, full of fear and hope, hell help him, so much hope. He doesn't have big plans for how exactly to save the world yet, he just keeps himself focused on the foundations he will need. No more punishing himself for who he is. He's building a reflex to not panic when he needs to run, cultivating the ability to reason through. He refuses to spend whatever time he has left on Earth being simply the one who was left behind, and he won't spend it running away.

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hi! I've been reading your snippets of the baby au and, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you: how do you think jalice vampire parents would be different of jalice human parents? Of course it would be a completely different world without all the trouble about raising a fragile little kid being killing machines and all, but I wanted to know your thoughts on it. Also, I've seen you are surprised of how much people are enjoying and asking about babyfic, but you just made Alice and Jasper...Alice and Jasper from Twilight...as parents...It's so cute and unexpected and actually good????

Ooof, that's something I've considered and listen, it's hard to determine without knowing the upbringing and background of Jasper and Alice as humans. If we convert their canon background into contemporary equivalents, it's going to be messy.

Prepare for rambling.

In Hybrid, Alice has a very much 'challenge accepted'/'hold my beer' kind of attitude to life. Whatever happens, she's willing to roll with the punches; she's very straight to the point and determined. She'll be the first one to say that she absolutely wanted an abortion, but that wasn't on the cards so she had her son and loves him. And Jasper has never felt as old or as young as when he's faced with Alice and Ollie; he's done horrific things and now has the one thing that Esme and Rose want more than anything: a child. And for him, it's a gift and a curse. He is terrified of letting Alice and Ollie down, and he has this insane responsibility all of a sudden, but he loves them both so fiercely. Plus they have a great support network - Alice's dads are super supportive and heavily involved, and the Cullens only want good things for Alice and Jasper. And Peter would fucking decimate anyone who tried to mess things up for Jasper.

Maria's more amused than anything else.

As vampire/human, they also have insane resources that would save so much stress and give them the maximum amount of time with their son. They have more money than Bezos; they can have their own home, buy whatever they need, give Ollie the best education and opportunities. Jasper doesn't sleep, so Alice is well-rested. If they need childcare whilst they go to college, or on a date, there are half a dozen family members who are right there - three of them with medical training.

But on the flip side, Jasper is so far removed from humanity because of his age - and the fact he's frozen as a Civil War-era nineteen/twenty year old, there's a significant learning curve for him. Bluey? Pokemon? Fortnite? He's totally out of his depth and has to kind of let his son teach him about being human in modern day. (Alice has a pretty frank discussion with Jasper about their stance if Ollie comes out as LGBTQ+, and is relieved to find out that vampires have significantly less hangups about that then humans, and Ollie can identify and be whomever he wants to be forever.)

And - I can't remember if this already came up - Ollie isn't immortal. He's going to live a normal human lifespan with two immortal-ish parents (listen, Alice isn't going to live forever, either, but that's a whole other thing). So he's going to be 15, 21, 30, 40, 50 etc, with parents that look 19, who can't even 'be' his parents at his graduation or his wedding or the arrival of his children. He's going to be an old man on his deathbed, clutching his mother's hand and she hasn't aged a day; she has to pose as a grandchild or a niece. So I think that Alice and Jasper are intensely aware that they have limited time with Ollie and they need to hold those precious 18 years very close.

So that's the vampire side of the scale. But on the human side, we're working with a traumatized veteran and a young woman estranged from her family, who spent time in a mental health facility and was aggressively stalked. That's a fuck ton of trauma, most likely financial insecurity and a lack of education.

I would even pitch that the pregnancy was incredibly accidental and Alice probably didn't notice until she was three months along. It might have even happened very early in the relationship, to really stack the odds against them. I think this version of Alice would focus on the sunshine and happiness of a baby, and not the reality, and Jasper would never leave her just because she's pregnant. So it's kind of recipe for disaster that turns out that it works.

They would still treasure their child, but they would have so much more stress and uncertainty. There would be a lot more bad days, and I can see them being kind of 'van life' people and telling people it's for the experience, but it's more to prevent anyone from taking Ollie from them when things aren't going well, to make both Alice and Jasper feel safe. So it's a lot more isolated. They have no immediate family support, and their day-to-day life would be so much more uncertain.

It's Jasper losing his temper because of PTSD, and then disappearing for the night because he's so ashamed of himself. It's Alice having a breakdown in their tiny van bathroom, and trying to convince herself she's safe, she's not crazy, and the stalker can't get her anymore. It's half home-schooling Ollie because they move around so much, but it's a lot of beach time and camping and just doing their best.

If we add the Cullens in as found family - whether that's as friends they meet in a community they stop in, as an extended family of one of them, or as former foster parents or something - it gets a little happier, because as much as I like to riff on the toxic possibilities of the Cullens, in Hybrid-verse they are kind and supportive and close. So this version would see a very loving family who are struggling, young people who have been dealt a very harsh lot in life and are trying to raise their son. Alice would trust the Cullens first - though wary of Carlisle (and Rose or Edward, if they were doctors) - and have no issue accepting a little bit of charity from Esme. Jasper would be insanely wary, especially when it came to compulsory reporters and Ollie, but I can see Emmett kind of drawing him out, and the education of the Cullens appealing to Jasper and him beginning to aspire for better for Ollie's future.

When it comes to day-to-day child-raising, I think Jasper would be way, way more hands-on as a parent as a vampire because of the limited time of childhood, and the fact he doesn't need to sleep or eat or work - if Ollie wants to spend a whole day building a fort, there is nothing else Jasper has to worry about. Jasper is intensely invested in making sure Ollie is smart and safe and happy, so he's constantly reading parenting books, child psychology books, any kind of material that will make him a good father. He'd be playing catch with eggs every day for months to make sure he never, ever accidentally bruises Ollie; there would be sweaters and blankets all over the house to make sure Ollie isn't uncomfortable falling asleep against his shoulder, or getting cold when he wants a snuggle. And Ollie sees his dad as a hero, as a protector, as someone who can fix any problem. Going camping, building a treehouse, playing baseball - there is nothing Jasper won't do for Ollie.

Alice would have a special bond with Ollie, having that human experience - especially since Jasper is a hopeless cook. It's Alice making cookies with Ollie and making a huge mess. It's Alice who he gives his bad Halloween candy to. It's Alice who falls asleep with him when he crawls into his parents' bed. It's Alice who wipes up tears and puts on bandaids when he skins his knees.

On the flipside, things are a bit rougher in the potential AH verse. Jasper struggles with PTSD and holds himself back a little - he can read to Ollie, play boardgames and do outdoor things like surfing and camping, but he struggles with depression and PTSD, so he lashes out emotionally and isolates himself a lot.

Alice is erratic and ultimately, frightened of outsiders. She's dreadfully overprotective of Ollie incase CPS or her father tries to take Ollie from her for not being good enough. So there are a lot of nights where Alice sits up awake to make sure Ollie is safe as he sleeps - and she would never disturb Jasper's sleep because he has so few good nights.

Money would be tight, so food wouldn't be fancy - especially since both of them would be hopeless cooks. Jasper's meds, gas, and food would be their priorities and there would be a lot of days when Alice and Jasper went without to make sure Ollie got everything he needed. Things would get significantly better when the Cullens met them and gave them the love and support of a family, but they would never be hugely affluent. I think Ollie would grow up intensely aware of his parents' issues and shortcomings but would have learned from his upbringing to treasure the positives and the happy times rather than resent the hard and ugly parts.

So, tldr, I think that human/vampire parents would actually be a happier kind of version than the all-human version in my head. But honestly, what defines Alice and Jasper as characters is their complete devotion to the other, above all else. That would extend to their child, no matter how accidental that child was; I can just see the realities of human life creating a much harsher story with their backstories.

Was that right? The kind of answer you were looking for?

[elxctrics]

(—) ★ spotted!! COLETTE 'COCO' ANDERSON on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 25 year old looks like SABRINA CARPENTER, but i don’t really see it. while the ACTRESS/SINGER is known for being SPONTANEOUS my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be TOXIC. i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song WE CAN'T STOP by MILEY CYRUS { she/her , cis-female }

  ˗ˏˋ ＊ ‣ 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬    :  

connections || musings || instagram || headcanons

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼

name: colette 'coco' anderson

age: twenty five

nicknames: coco

date of birth: june 18th, 1999

astrological sign: gemini

place of birth: north carolina

occupation: singer/actress

voice claim: miley cyrus

label: the basketcase

positive traits: spontaneous, charming, silly, honest

negative traits: toxic, obsessive, self-critical, delusional

characters/celebrities she’s like: miley cyrus, lindsay lohan

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂

she was supposed to be a miracle - a baby girl born through ivf, the pride and joy of both of her mothers, and while ford was truly the mamas boy of the family, coco was the one that couldn't be tamed.

from the day she was born, little colette was an absolute terror. she couldn't sit still, she hated being told what to do and made it abundantly clear that no matter how tiny she was, she wouldn't let anyone push her around.

she learned to stand on her own to feet, growing up in north carolina on the family's property with a gaggle of siblings. out of all of them, she was the one their mothers yelled at the most.

she liked to push the limits, see how much she could get away with and she proved at a young age that she was an amazing actress - her wild imagination and things that would come out of her mouth causing the sweet southern people around her to clutch their pearls and gasp in horror.

with ford playing instruments and singing all over the house at all hours of the day, and night, instead of screaming at him to shut up, one day, coco asked him to teach her and turns out, like her brother, she had a natural ear and talent for singing.

just as her brother was starting to rise into fame, she saw an ad for an open casting for a disney channel show and figured 'why not' and sent her own self tape in.

her self tape, filmed on her staticy webcam camera, somehow managed to charm the hell out of the executives and she was cast in a show called 'hannah montana'

she became a pre-teen icon - touring all over the world, doing meet and greets with fans, but the goody two shoes image was never something she was a fan of.

her team did their best to keep what she got up to behind the scenes under lock and key, but secrets don't stay hidden for long in hollywood and when she was eighteen years old, pictures of her in lingerie, smoking a joint was released and her squeaky clean image was no longer.

after cutting ties with disney, she embarked on her solo career - staring in a nicholas sparks movie, the last song, along the way as her team's final attempt to save her image, but it was no use - she couldn't be tamed and she made that known in her first album away from disney.

she began hanging around the wrong crowd in hollywood - indulging in drugs, alcohol and all the things she was told to stay away from, and she very much flaunted it, too.

she never had a filter and never cared what people had to say about her, doing whatever she could to make a headline when in reality, all of it was a cry for help and her bangerz album was just that.

raunchy, provocative and every performance more cringey than the last, the public backlash after one of her vma performances, which involved twerking all over a married man, was the last straw and the whirlwind of the past nine years of her life came crashing down on her. she was trying so hard to break a mold, so hard to be defiant, but she was losing herself in the process and she just needed a minute to breathe.

so, she checked herself into a mental health facility for the past year and although she got into plenty of trouble there too, she needed a minute to get away from everything and regroup.

now, back with a clearer head, she certainly isn't reformed by any means, just simply has a clearer idea of who she is and who she wants to be.

[babygirlaffirmations]

Sleeping in chained cuffs...

After inspiration from a fellow fetlife page I now sleep in cuffs nightly. Last night was the first night I slept in cuffs with Master in person since the rule started. This time he put the cuffs on me. Attached the chain. We laid down to snuggle and fall asleep. And I feel him reach over and grip my chain. (Which has no lock and is very easy release, for any safety concerns.) And spent the entirety night basically clutching my chain on my cuffs after saying "Mine."

Currently on a pet bed in an adjacent room nook. Resting/trying to nap a bit. Thinking about how Master is going to take all my holes after.. and absolutely destroy me as he works up to claiming my ass... I went to this class last night with my pussy full of his cum leaking out. Mmm... My life is wild but this man is seriously amazing. And I love him.

This week we have many dates. And a plan to finalize and finish and sign our first contract. With me as his property. Work on adding more and updating our obedience app. And I have a permanent bracelet coming. (hopefully in time) I earned it with obedience points. Another sign of ownership over me from him. I'm so blissful. He made me cum with his voice and fingers on the way here 12 times. And I've been subspacey goo knowing we're likely to triple that or more just tonight.

Master wants to beat 100 in a day soon. Current goal is 78 in a day. I love my delicious evil pleasure Dom. Who started me on a new training.. Putting just the tip of his cock in me and me having to either hold myself up and restrain myself from sliding myself into him. No matter how badly my greedy holes want it. The reward being his cum in my ass. 🤤

There are a lot of mental health struggles. A lot of anxiety. Which he handles amazing. We're working past our first big blow up. And our dynamic is just developing into something so gorgeous.

I went into the deepest little space of my life yesterday. And seeing him so deep into Daddy space with me during was so deliciously hot. I look forward to seeing what memories and photos and videos we create this trip. 🤤

Tags: (add)

Just Friends

Nov 15, 2023

[hamhammoody]

Recently, I thought I was doing okay for once. I wasn't spending all my time on tumblr or laying in my bed with the lights off. I was going to bed mostly on time, remembering to eat, showing up to work on time. Heck, I hadn't even fought with my other half in a while. Then suddenly things changed and my anxiety has thrown me right back into the visious cycle. The refusing to eat, the avoiding conversations, the insomnia, the unexplainable crying, the numb feeling of being completely overwhelmed to the point of shutting down. It sucks. I know mental health is a rollercoaster just like everything else in life is, but (not for the first time) I wish mine didn't have to be the biggest and most exciting looking ride at the amusement park. Likewise, I wish I didn't have to be the little kid who got dragged on the ride despite my expressions of absolute terror and fear. I hate that feeling that sits in my stomach as the cart slowly rises to the top of the highest drop. Even more I hate the lightheaded rush of falling once I reach it. I've always been small so the safety restraints never fit like they should and I typically move around in my seat - pressing against the lap belts on turns, clutching for dear life as I come away from my seat on the upside down loops, hitting my head as gravity pulls me back down to reality. I thought I was doing okay again, but I guess I was just in line for my next big rollercoaster.

[astrolo-t]

Safe and Sound

Pairing: Ellie x Reader

Word Count: 2.2 k

Warnings: Cursing, Description of a Panic Attack, Reader has The Anxiety, I proofread but there's always the potential for typos

A/N: Hey hey. I’m writing again and it’s fun except for the part where a drabble becomes 2k. The prompt was ‘B finds A having a panic attack on the floor of a public bathroom and shows them various breathing exercises to help calm them down.��� Also, I listened to ‘Personal Cathedrals’ by Aly & AJ while writing this so check that out if you want the vibes. The exercises described are some that I actually use and they can help! And uhhh yea? Hope someone enjoys.

Most times, when Dina asked you to come out, you’d say no. Well, never just no because that was healthy and part of setting boundaries and all that. Instead, what you did was perfect the art of coming up with excuses.

Oh, I have homework to do, sorry.

I promised my brother I’d babysit.

My cat isn’t doing well right now.

You didn’t even have a fucking cat. You just didn’t want to go out. This time around, it also happened to be a particularly bad week for your mental health and your anxiety was being more problematic than usual. You were overwhelmed with work, family, friends, and just life in general. Just the thought of the entire process you’d need to go through in order to go out, made you feel that much worse.

There would be the part where you spent hours psyching yourself up to interact with people you didn’t know, nor like, and even people you did. There would be the whole ordeal of finding a cute outfit, then hating how it fits and wishing sweatpants were acceptable to wear on a night out. Even now, amongst all the vibrating bodies of the bar, you wondered if it was too late to text Dina and tell her your Lyft driver suddenly got a flat.

You hated that you couldn’t be like them. Enjoying the music, the energy, the colors, and lights. All you wanted to do was head home and finish reading your latest book recommendation. Enemies to lovers. Sapphic. AND it was getting spicy. With a sigh you remembered where you were, standing at the entrance searching for your wavy-haired friend.

You eventually spot her seated on a stool at the bar where she was waving you down to join her. Heading over to her, you realize she has 4 shots in front of her, all a very familiar caramel color. Frowning, you say, “Now Dina, you know I don’t mess with dark liquor.”

She rolls her eyes, “It’s one shot babe. Also,” those same eyes travel up and down your figure, nodding in approval. “You look fucking hot, which is perfect because I wanted you to meet my friend tonight. Super nerdy. Huge asshole. Just how you like 'em. Her name is El-”

“Dina!” Stopping mid-sentence she sees Jesse over your shoulder and he greets her with a kiss to the forehead. “Hey you.” She smiles and before you know it, they start doing that thing they do where they forget anyone else is there. You admire the easy smile Dina wears and the way Jesse looks absolutely enamored with the girl in front of him.

Inwardly you deflate a little more because eventually, you’d like to have something like that with someone. Someone caring and loyal, that understands your sense of humor and doesn’t think it’s weird that you name your plants after your favorite characters. Someone who doesn’t need you or complete you, but rather they choose to be with you because life is just that much better with you in it. Someone who cuts out all the noise and makes you forget everything else but how safe and sound they make you feel. Shaking your head you look around the room and back to Dina and Jesse. You suddenly feel…out of place and maybe a little lonely.

Though you’ve just arrived, you want to leave. But that’s not an option you’ll give yourself, no. Instead, you tell Dina you have to use the restroom, racing toward the secluded space before she can ask if you want her to go with you.

Once safely inside the restroom, you head to the sink, clutching the counter and taking a deep breath, shutting your eyes tightly in the process. Get it together. It’s just a few hours and then you can leave. Be a good friend. You will the knot in your chest blocking air to just disappear because you cannot fall apart in a public restroom. Absolutely not. Unfortunately, your body and mind do not sync and you feel the familiar burn of tears welling in your eyes.

“Fuck!” you yell to no one in particular, angry at no one but yourself at this moment. Opening your eyes causes the tears you’d been holding in to drip over your hands, the drops drawing your attention to your knuckles which have gone white from how hard you were gripping the porcelain. Letting go, you take a step back to drop down against the wall perpendicular to the sink and curl in on yourself, lacing your fingers over your knees.

You’re ok. You're ok.

Repeating this to yourself, you ignore the familiar feeling of your throat closing up. You’ll get through this. It’s just one night. Dina will be happy and you won’t have to feel guilty later on. You’re ok. You’re ok. You’re ok.

But I’m not. I’m not ok.

Just then, you hear someone step into the restroom. You keep your head down on your knees, hoping they’ll just ignore you. Nothing to see here. Just me, your local fucking trainwreck. However, instead of ignoring you they immediately stop their stride, noticing you there on the ground.

“Hey…” the voice starts hesitantly, “are you ok? Do you need help?”

You open your mouth to answer but all that comes out is a choked sob.

“Woah woah hey ok-”

You hear the sound of someone quickly stepping in front of you. Opening your eyes you’re met with a pair of worn black and white converse. Slowly you raise your head, your eyes trailing up a pair of jean clad legs until they meet green ones. Such eyes belong to a girl with auburn hair pulled into a bun, a few strands framing the left side of her face. With a furrowed brow, she looks concerned and maybe a little unsure.

“I-I c-can’t.” You shake your head, “I can’t” is all you can get out before your breathing starts to quicken even more.

The girl immediately drops down to sit cross legged in front of you.

“Shh, alright, ok. Listen, can I see your hand?” She asks in a voice so low and feather-light, almost as if she was afraid to scare you.

You hesitate, your lips turned into a frown before shakily unlacing your fingers to offer your right one to her. She takes your hand, turning it palm side up. Then, she begins drawing on your hand with the tip of her right index finger; it’s a shape you recognize as a rectangle.

“So basically, you inhale on the shorter lines and exhale on the longer ones. Try this with me?”

You try to follow, taking a few shaky breaths before becoming frustrated when you’re unable to match hers. You move to take your hand away, but she holds onto it.

“Hey, just…look at me? Please?”

Your tear filled eyes meet green again, noticing the sprinkle of freckles that fall like snow all the way down to her lips. You watch her mouth as she breathes in and out, and slowly you find your breathing matching hers; the finger on your hand keeping time. After each breath, a little more doubt and fear is released. Time slows, and finally, your heart rate begins to ease and that huge lump becomes smaller and smaller.

“See? There you go. You’re doing perfect...” She says with a soft smile on those lips as she continues to draw while you breathe.

“My therapist she uhh- she calls this rectangle breathing, which sounded really stupid to me at first….” She shrugs before continuing. “but it works. For me, most times I try just playing my guitar or describing things in the room. You know…until I can breathe again. For example,” Her eyes wander up, looking just past your face. “Your earrings are gold and shaped like stars. ” She visibly swallows and licks her lips before continuing. “Your eyes are…” Fucking beautiful, is what she wants to say. Because even with tears in them she is startled in the best way by your gaze.

“Anyways,” She says suddenly clearing her throat. “you can describe things in detail like that or just point out random things like-” She scans the room before her brows scrunch together in disgust and she shakes her head, those few rebellious strands of hair shaking with it. “how these bathrooms smell like ass and there’s definitely a used condom on the floor in the first stall.”

Your eyebrows raise up, eyes following hers over to the stall, and there it was. A condom that was most certainly…used.

Now that’s fucking gross.

She laughs and it’s then you realize you’d said that out loud. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Every time I let my friends choose the bar it’s always a little suspect honestly. I have much better taste.” She says with a grin.

“Where-” you clear your throat, voice gravely from crying, “Where would you have picked?”

“Dunno, but definitely somewhere more….” she closes her eyes and feigns being in deep thought “fuck, what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Fun? Clean? Gay?”

“Yes that's the one-” she says without missing a beat and you actually let out a giggle and she joins you laughing. “While I would definitely feel more comfortable at a gay bar - right now I’d much rather be at home. At least tonight.”

“That’s fair. I mean…who says you have to stay? You’re under no obligation to.”

“This is true, but I always feel like I’m letting people down because of my inability to just…be a person.”

The girl nods thoughtfully, “Hey I get it - but the lady I’m paying to make sure I don’t lose my shit says you can’t pour from an empty cup. Gotta take care of yourself and all that, which includes not coming to shitty bars when you’re not up to it.”

You nod your head slowly, feeling somewhat scolded. But she was right, unfortunately. “You always this blunt with strangers?”

She chuckles a bit before lifting her gaze from your interlocked hands to meet yours, “Just the pretty ones who I happen to meet on the restroom floor.”

“Charming.”

“My name is Ellie but hey, I’ll take it. ”

You look at her horrified, using your free hand to wipe any leftover tears in your eyes, “I actually can’t believe you just said that.”

“Oh come on, you liked it. You smiled. You’re smiling now.”

And she was right. You were smiling. She’d stopped drawing on your hand a while ago. But there it was still clasped in hers, her thumb rubbing against your palm absentmindedly. It felt warm, and safe. And yea ok, maybe you did like it. Maybe you did like this girl who had been so sweet and attentive with you just moments ago and yet now flirted with you so brazenly. “Hey…you wanna get out of here….?” She trails off, waiting for you to finish her sentence.

“Y/N.”

Ellie smiles at that and says again, “You wanna get out of here, Y/N?”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Jesse and Dina had drunk all four shots and maybe a bit more by the time you and Ellie find them again. Dina is laughing at something Jesse said - probably not that funny without the influence of alcohol - when she sees you two approach. She seems confused and then even more so when her eyes come to rest in between the two of you, where Ellie’s fingers lay laced through your own.

“Y/N,” Dina starts slowly, almost questioningly. “this is who I wanted you to meet. This is Ellie. But I see you’ve already made acquaintances.” She said pointing an accusatory finger directly at your laced lands. You move to unlace them, embarrassed, but Ellie just holds on and gives them a squeeze still staring at Dina. “We’re gonna head out Dina.”

Dina looks shocked sharing an incredulous look with Jesse before turning back to you. “Well, damn that was easy.”

“To talk, D. Somewhere where we can actually hear one another.”

“Yea go ahead and talk. Jesse and I love talking, don't we?” She smirks up at Jesse who just shakes his head and chuckles.

Ellie simply rolls her eyes at your mutual friends, tugging on your hand and when your eyes meet her own she says, “You with me?”

And you were. You didn’t know it then, and you wouldn’t know it for a long time but, you always would be. Ellie had come into your life and grounded you with her soft whispers and careful touches. She came and stayed despite seeing you at your lowest, because she chose you. And you chose her and always would, again and again.

She was your solace. Your stillness. Your safe and sound.

[stressedemoblackbratz]

what the hell -

how she came to be

pairing: euphoria characters x black!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, and slight violence.

a/n: well…i’ve been missing for a minute. my mental health is absolutely shit rn :/ so sorry about that, but this is the backstory to what the hell! I’m taking this series off my taglist because this chapter is finished, however I will be keeping the current taglist for the sequel. i hope you enjoy babies.

words: 948 + not proofread

part one | part two | part three | part four

what? what? what? what the hell?

dinner was over long ago. you had teased your your dad all day long about his new love interest, but now he was grilling into you.

after teasing you about how he knew Elliot was gonna cause problems he took a long look at you.

he hated you had went through the biggest amount of bullshit via everyone.

“not saying Rue’s right at all, but we see who’s actually admitting their wrong.” Ali told you before pushing your shoulder and laughing.

when you pushed back he looked shocked.

“you’re heavy handed like your damn granny. she used to hit me like that when i was in trouble.” he teased while smiling.

you hadn’t always seen his smile.

you had grown up in the area. your mom, before she up and left one day, had enrolled you in the same daycare Rue and Lexi were in. your first day your mom watched you cry as she had to walk away, but when she came to get you, you didn’t want to go home.

she arrived to see Leslie and Suze trying to coax all three of you to stop crying and to let eachother go.

“i’m Angela.” she would introduce herself to the other moms as Lexi screamed in the background gripping you and Rue’s backpacks.

the rest was history.

endless play dates, weekend trips, bike rides around the neighborhood as Rue’s father trailed you in his car.

it was nice.

you never knew your dad.

you used to clutch into the seatbelt and onto Lexi’s hand while Cassie’s dad drove you all home from school.

him alone made you question wanting a father.

Rue’s dad though? he was nice and always treated you with love and care. you loved spending time with him before he had gotten sick.

it wasn’t until your mom said she was going out with a friend named Laurie and she never returned that you were were alone for the first time.

sure you had been left alone with Mrs. Marie and you spent time with her grandson Fez, but those times your mom would come back.

coming in the door yelling, waking up the sleeping baby you had been clutching and Fez who was draped over your shoulders in a deep sleep, she’d grab your arm and yank you out of the home. Mrs. O’Neil looking at you in sorrow as you were dragged away.

Fez would tell you at school a bit before he had to drop out that his grandmother constantly said she wished she had taken you. that she would’ve been a better mother.

she had stopped going to Marie and next thing you knew she was staying out late with a Laurie.

this was a new thing, yet each time she came back. this time though? she had been gone for days.

days had gone by and the only voices you had heard were baby bird chirping. each night alone got worse and worse and the little food that was in the house was basically gone.

you only had one person who could help you at this point, but you didn’t know if he would.

you knew your dads name and he was the only person you could think of to get you out of the lonely house.

the yellow pages were worn as you looked for his name and number in a phone book. Facebook was no use. it wasn’t until you rummaged through your moms drawers that you noticed some notes and one in particular had the name of your father on it.

Ali Muhammad, or Martin as your mom would say, was perfectly jotted down on a absent mindlessly written note your mom had crumbled up in her drawer. it was hidden beneath a few pens, bags with loose pills, and random white residue.

you ran to the phone and dialed as quickly as you could, your little fingers struggling to keep up with your hurried movements.

“h-hello?” a groggy voice answered.

you didn’t remember much other than telling him your name and your mothers through your own sobs and his frantic “okay”s.

life had changed.

Rue’s dad got sick, Lexi’s dad left, you gained a father in your life, and Marie had fallen sick.

everyone was crumbling at that time, but you were thriving and it’s as very apparent.

Ali didn’t tell you about his previous life of being married and having other children till you were older. you were 11 when you first found him, he didn’t want to scare you off.

you weren’t mad when you found out, taken aback but mad or scared wasn’t something you felt.

at 16, about to turn 17 that month, he became Rue’s mentor.

you all know the rest.

so it led you to now.

“daddy do i look pretty?” you said pushing at your stomach before picking at your your hair in the mirror.

“you look good.” he said laughing behind you in the mirror. he always thought it was so funny how you looked at yourself the same way each day and asked him the same question.

you rolled your eyes and gave him a side hug before grabbing your purse.

“byeeee. i’m going to help Lex for the play tonighttttt. don’t stay up, i’ll text you my plans.” you hollered over your shoulder at your dad.

Ali waved before going back to his phone call with Leslie.

“you wanna go to dinner? the kids are gone.”

“i’d love too.”

y/n: i’m about to go do the makeup :p

fez: at least they won’t look ugly. this shit about to pop off

y/n: and i will laugh at them all

taglist: @jeyramarie @lainjupi @whitejuliana1204 @theeblackbarbiesworld @leawxlker @spilvy @xxloveralways14 @colbysbrocks @euphoruya @lselnerys @thecraziestcrayon @capswife @pookiedookie06 @alainabooks143 @smashleywow @nichmeddar @jackierose902109 @euphoricfeminine @nintendhoe08 @nunya7394 @leebodeckersgoodgirl @crystallizedth0t

[krethes]

@wolfstarmicrofic Day Fifteen: breathing room

A direct follow-up to Day Twelve: roar

C/w: blood, injury, discussions on mental health, panic attack, and a reference to past fight(s).

"Mr Lupin, I assume you are here to feed me yet another story about how you fell? Ran into a locked portrait hole? Tripped on the stairs?"

"They're magical stairs, Poppy, they're very tricky."

"In the nearly one thousand years since Hogwarts's founding, I don't recall a single incident of the staircases developing..." She looks down at his thigh where a deep gash bleeds steadily through his bandages. It's resisted his friends' healing charms and even Poppy's, and he's had to keep downing blood replenishing potions that taste like knuts (a joke he cannot even appreciate given the circumstances). "...A broadsword." Her blue eyes narrow for a moment before she sighs, all trace of discipline leaving her face. Poppy Conjures a chair and sits at his bedside. "Remus," she says gently, falling into his given name. "If someone is-"

"-They're not," Remus says quickly, but the disappointment that crinkles her expression sends a pike of shame through him. "I just... Get so angry. They say things. About Lily. About Mary."

"And about you?"

"I'm used to that, it's nothing new, but my friends can't help that they're Muggleborn!"

"Just as you cannot help your lycanthropy, Remus," Poppy reminds him gently. It makes his skin prickle uncomfortably, the way she can just... perceive him. "I'll be speaking to Professor Slug-"

"No!" Remus shouts, then, quieter, "No. Please. It's nothing. Look, it's already starting to mend." It's the faintest knitting together of flesh, so slow the untrained eye would miss it, but his body is healing; it's one of the only "good" things about being a werewolf.

Poppy sighs again and siphons away the well of blood with a wave of her wand. "Fighting is explicitly against the rules. I should tell Professor McGonagall."

Remus gulps and glances at the door where a flash of dark hair peeks through the window. "...But...?"

"But, I won't," she says and raises her hand when he makes to speak, "but only under the condition that you agree to see me for Mind Healing."

Remus flinches, recoiling from the idea that he's gone mad, like a rabid dog. He can see it now: being labelled truly, absolutely, as a dangerous creature, being put down, or worse: being locked in a cell lined with silver or being sent to Azkaban. How did werewolves even do in Azkaban? Were the Dementors susceptible to the virus? Were the other prisoners safe from the beast? Would that full moon finally be his last? Panic grips him, freezes the air in his lungs, and Remus's entire body tenses, a coil tightly wound and ready to spring. The edges of his vision begin to fade and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't- he's going to hurt someone for real or- or-!

"Mr Black!" rings in his ears before darkness takes him.

When he comes to, it's to the familiar, calming scent of Sirius, and tears sting his eyes. Sirius gasps and clutches him close, squeezing him in an embrace that both crushes and comforts him, forces the icy air out and pushes warm love in.

"Mr Black, give him some breathing room, please!" Poppy firmly guides Sirius away, a bit more brusquely than she normally does. As Remus's vision returns, he sees that the door has been blown straight off its hinges, and glittering glass dusts Sirius's hair. Poppy wipes Remus's sweaty brow with a cloth and passes him a potion that tastes like candy floss and immediately sends him to a place of zen serenity.

"Mind Healing, Remus, will be good for you. Muggles call their version 'therapy', but I can help you control your anger, and that panic attack you just had."

"He doesn't need to control his anger!" Sirius growls, already back at Remus's side, their fingers laced together. "He's fine, he's just defending himself!!"

Poppy stills Sirius with a hard look, and Remus swears the room gets ten degrees warmer with the tension. Or maybe that's the guilt creeping through his body. Was punching Snape until his face was swollen and bloody defending himself? One or two would have sufficed. Nausea turns his stomach, but Sirius's hands are cool as they brush his hair from his forehead.

"Remus," Poppy continues as though she hasn't heard Sirius's outburst, "think it over. Or at least consider some form of meditation. Breathing exercises. You're getting stronger as you grow, and, honestly, we ought to have started this much sooner. I won't force you, but do consider it. Fully," she adds with a raised eyebrow Sirius's way.

Remus nods mutely and lets Sirius pet his hair while Poppy looks his leg over again. It's stopped bleeding, mostly, and new skin is growing from the base of the gash. After another hour, Poppy sends him back to Gryffindor Tower, and Sirius pulls him on top of his body as soon as they're in the dorm.

"Moony, don't listen to her, you're-"

"I think I should do it."

"Let someone root around in your head?! Moony, are you-"

"Mad? Quite possibly." His throat feels tight, his mouth sandpaper dry. "She's right. I'm not... it's not a fair fight, if it's physical, and... I'm tired. So tired of being angry. All the fucking time."

Sirius makes a pained, choked-off noise and kisses him sweetly, guiding his emotions to an oasis of safe and home. "Okay then," he whispers against Remus's lips and just holds him. Sirius feels like a ground, directing the lightning of his fury to a single point and diffusing it, all with a kiss. "You should do what's good for you. ...But if that could also include still punching Snivellus—on special occasions only! Oi, ouch!"

Remus flips them and pins Sirius with his elbows, huffing faintly annoyed laughter into his neck. "I love you." Sirius says it more often because he seems to understand that Remus needs to hear it, but the words don't come naturally to Remus. Speaking the words leaves Remus feeling vulnerable, flayed open, raw, but Sirius is always there, a balm to calm the sting.

Remus closes his eyes and breathes to the steady, reliable drum of Sirius's heart. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.

[sunsetserenade]

what's a scene (byler or not) you'd absolutely love to see?

okayokayokay im going to say a byler scene first bc of course i would and then i’ll get to others

i am WEAK. and i mean really REALLY WEAK. when it comes to hugs. they’re so versatile. platonic, romantic, consolation, happiness, relief, so on and so forth.

i am prayin so hard that we get a byler hug. more than just a quick embrace. im talkin squeezing the life out of each other, hands clutching at the fabric of each other’s shirts, faces buried in necks and yadda yadda yadda i want fluff as a result of angst. because whether or not it’s romantic, it’s emotional and they just really need it.

bonus points if the hug is paired with a) a coming out scene, b) a confession scene, or c) a much needed apology and heart-to-heart

and onto other things i would like:

i want at least one (1) interaction between mike and robin. for my mental health. i need robin to be the one to sort of urge mike to go to california to see will <3

yeah.

[sourholland]

A Royal Convenience || Tom Holland

| Series Masterlist |

Part Two

AN → You might all be wondering where I’ve been, I honestly just needed a bit of a break for my mental health! I’m sorry, I’ve missed taking to you all <3

Summary → When an alliance is made between England and France, you are sent away to marry the crown prince and heir to the British throne. Except both you and Prince Thomas despise each other at all odds, subjected to the hand of the monarchy and unable to stand each other.

Pairing(s) → Prince!Tom x Princess!Reader

Warnings → None

Word Count → 2.0k

“Could one of you run off and find out if my son is planning on gracing us all with his attendance.” Nicola’s voice was assertive, dripping with irritation at the Prince’s tardiness.

A man holding a closed box with an assortment of rings stood off to the side of the drawing-room. He was stiff, awkward even, in the presence of not only the Queen, but the Princess and future Queen of England. His eyes were trained on the freshly polished floors, clutching the velvet.

Behind you stood your newly introduced ladies in waiting, there were three: Lady Eloise, Lady Charlotte, and Lady Andrea. They were very young, pretty, and had very clearly come from aristocratic backgrounds. Each of them held a title, meaning they’d soon enough marry. You’d planned on meeting them for tea, but Queen Nicola figured it would be better to bring them in before you chose an engagement ring.

“Apologies, mum,” Tom came through the double doors, his hair skewed and his shirt disheveled. He bowed, taking a spot beside his mother and averting his eyes from you.

“Thomas, wonderful of you to join us,” she drawled. “Do begin, sir,” she said, motioning towards the man.

He opened the box a bit shakily, dozens of diamonds gleaming. They ranged from color to carrots of gold, each holding a different and more interesting background. You couldn’t help but to reach out and pick up one with a deep sapphire.

“That was once worn by the late Queen Elizabeth l,” he droned on, continuing to tell you about the long history of where the ring had come from and what it signified.

“What do you think, Thomas,” Nicola asked. She was practically beaming at each ring you slid onto your finger. Like no matter which one you chose, none would be the wrong choice.

“It is not I that will have to wear the dreadful thing,” he replied shortly. “Therefore, I should not be the person deciding which one she chooses, though I wish you’d quicken the pace a bit.”

“Since you’ve made it clear that you have no intention on weighing in on the decision, I ask you kindly, Prince Tom, to please refrain from commenting,” you quipped. He took a step back irritably, pulling at the collar of his undershirt.

You reached into the box once more, pulling out a large European cut diamond ring. The several diamonds displayed at the golden band left you lifting your hand, staring at your ring finger absentmindedly. It was classic, yet had too many diamonds to be considered simple. A royal staple, much like the tiara you’d eventually choose to wear on your wedding day.

“This one,” you said. “This is the one.”

The Queen drifted towards you, biting back excitement as she assessed the ring. It was clearly too large and would need to be sized, yet still had the same effect. She held it up as you had done, clutching your hand and motioning towards your ladies to come and look.

“That’s absolutely darling,” Charlotte mused.

“It’s stunning,” Andrea agreed.

The Prince soon enough took his leave, slipping out of the room before Nicola could notice his absence. She looked disappointed when she looked over and was met with an empty space where he’d just stood.

“He’ll come around soon enough,” she said, this was less reassuring to you and seemed more comforting for herself.

-

“Do tell me about yourself, Andrea,” you murmured on, arm in arm as you both perused the large gardens.

“Well there’s not much to know, miss,” she replied swiftly.

“Please, I wish you’d call me Y/N in private company,” you laughed a bit. “I’ve never had much of a thing for titles.”

“Her Majesty would simply chastise me.”

There were blooming flowers and the grass was slowly becoming more and more green. The air was a bit brisk, the cloak draped along your shoulders thinner than you’d like. The soft breeze felt nice, though. Andrea was simple looking, pulled back brown hair and a heart-shaped face. She explained that she was one of three girls, the third daughter of an earl.

“I must admit, I do wish we’d have met under different circumstances,” you mused, plucking a lily from the shrubs.

“I’m not sure what you mean, miss,” she looked over at you a bit sideways.

“I just mean—well under the circumstance that I wasn’t being pawned off on the Prince.”

You fumbled at your skirts for a moment, pressing at the fabrics of your afternoon dress. It was ivory, beautiful, really. Though, much different from anything you’d have worn in France.

“I’m sure His Royal Highness will be as pleased as everyone else once you are both wed.”

“That’s hard to believe,” you chuckled. “He has hardly said a word to me since I arrived in London.”

She looked nervous, like she was afraid to say the wrong thing. Her cheeks flushed lightly, the glint in her eyes a bit brighter. Andrea just looked over to you and gave a soft smile, as if to say everything would be alright.

“Do you think that Prince Thomas is handsome?” You asked, curious of her opinion. You watched her cheeks redden, an awkward laugh escaping her lips.

“That is not for me to judge, miss,” she answered almost immediately.

“No—but, I just want your opinion, do you think he is handsome?” You asked once again.

She hesitated for a moment, “yes, I think the Prince is certainly very handsome.”

You thought for a moment, of his brown hair that had been swept back and so carelessly skewed about earlier in the morning. The way his freckles scattered lightly across his nose like a constellation, you’d only known this from when he’d pulled you in so closely the night before. He wore his signet ring proudly, this amongst what looked like another ring with a crest on it.

“Yes, I suppose he is quite handsome. Though, if I’ve learned anything, it is that looks count for almost nothing when you’re forced to spend everyday with a person.”

-

The quiet clattering of silverware sounded throughout the large room, beside you sat Prince Tom. Down the table were the two older princes, assuming the youngest, Prince Patrick, was still too young. At the head of the table was King Dominic, at his right was Queen Nicola. Occupying the rest of the table was an assortment of dukes and duchesses, earls and ladies.

It had been too late to join everyone for dinner the night before, so tonight was the first time you’d been in everyone’s company. The room was large, grand even, gold trim and deep royal red walls filled with paintings dating back centuries. Candles burned while you ate, attempting to steal a glance at the Prince while he spoke with his brother Harry.

It had taken you weeks studying the British monarchy to completely grasp their political and traditional protocol. You had to learn who to curtsy to and who not to, and then in what order, how to determine the sovereign and whether or not to address someone with a title or not to.

“Tell us, Y/N, how are you finding England?” The Queen chimed, staring at you from her seat across the table.

“Well, ma’am—I haven’t seen much of it, I do hope to see more. It is far different from France, though.”

A quiet murmur spread across the table, “I’ve always found the French quite curious,” a duchess, whom you could not recall the name of, said lowly.

“Curiously dreadful,” Tom laughed to himself in a whisper you were sure only you could hear.

“I’m sorry?” You turned towards him, the sound of your cutlery against the plate louder than you’d liked. “I thought you said something, sir.”

The King looked up at you, the scornful way in which you looked at Tom, seething at his teasing words. You felt the heat in your face spread when you noticed an almost surprised look from a majority of the long and stretching table.

The rest of dinner you kept quiet, avoiding the looks from the prince at your side. He seemed quite bothered, you put your head down and braced yourself once the King stood. Once the King finished his meal, everyone else was finished as well. He stood soundly, the paleness of his skin off-putting, the deep purple crescents underneath his eyes prominent in the candlelight.

You stood with everyone else, retiring to your chambers in a fleeting moment once it was appropriate to get away. The long, narrow halls were ages older than you, the artwork clearly showing that. You recognized past monarchs, the kings and queens of the years earlier. The twists and turns reminded you of a labyrinth, easy to get lost in.

Once you reached the double doors to your chambers, you pulled at them quickly, shutting them behind you soundly and sinking against the wall. The room was still filled with burning candles, the servant at your vanity looking at you curiously.

She curtsied quickly, motioning you off of the floor in a maternal way. You said nothing, letting her help you slip out of the evening gown and undo the tight lacing of your corset. You breathed deeply as she slipped the white nightgown over your head and took down the silver pins from your hair.

“Are you alright, miss?” She asked, the look on her face a bit concerned.

“Yes, just tired,” you excused. “I can put myself to sleep, thank you.”

“Are you sure, miss? I really do not mind,” she trailed off as you waved her away laughing stiffly.

“I am sure, thank you, Anne.”

You stared at yourself in the mirror, brushing through your hair as you sat. Anne had long left, the doors shut tightly and the guards posted at them for the night, however, you turned quickly at the sound of them creeping open.

“How thick in the head must you be?”

Prince Thomas.

“You should not be in here,” you warned. “It’s bad enough to be caught alone in the daytime without a chaperone, but at night—in my bedroom!” Your tone was sharp, your arms wrapping around yourself. His eyes scanned your bare ankles, the curve of your legs underneath the thin material.

“You need not be concerned about your virtue, not after what you decided to pull at dinner tonight, before mother and father! I mean seriously, it’s like you enjoy humiliating yourself in front of the whole family!”

His cheeks were flushed in anger, his eyes fixed on you. You hair was undone, your eyes stuck on him. The silence was deafening, the space between the both of you closing when you stood up and marched over to him.

“I have been here a day. A day! And you cannot allow me the luxury of my own chambers, parading in here like you were not the one who provoked me!” You rammed a finger into his chest, gaze not faltering as you looked up at him.

“I told mother, I told father. You are nothing but a child, a little girl with no clue what she’s getting herself into,” you flinched at his voice.

“I will be your wife—”

“You will be the Queen of England!” He shouted, “the way you acted tonight was not that of a queen, but an eighteen year old girl in way over her head.”

He grabbed the hand that had jabbed into his chest, skewing it to the side. “Do not forget yourself, Y/N. I can promise you this, if you cannot at least act like you have any idea what you’re doing, this engagement is off. I will not tarnish the name of my country, nor title or reputation for a French princess that I had no desire to wed in the first place.”

taglist- @justapurrcat @witchyartemis @keithseabrook27 @clara-licht @dummiesshort @username2002 @imaginationisgrowth @nova-sup3r @jeyramarie @the-avengers-assembling @veryholland