#absolute loser wet cat man

[poorlittlegreenie13]

I want to write a mobster Carmy au but he is NOT the mob boss in it. He is at the very lowest rung of that ladder. Zero power, nobody respects him, he hates his life. He’s not even good at his job. Just pathetic & lonely. Yk? I actually have an entire plot mapped out in detail. And will probably write it at some point. So plz nobody steal this idea.

[kazbiter]

sorry i haven't been posting much recently i've been reading the shadowhunter chronicles for the first time since like middle school and texting my best friend who is obsessed with them like this knowing full damn well I have experienced attraction to a man irl for maybe 2 fleeting moments in the entirety of the last 5 years

[tonight-i-may-see]

the vibes I attempt to bring to the function (aka leo's gender moment)

[unwanted-dandelion-seeds]

Oh Fredandelion... *imagine me dramatically flopping onto a sofa or something* you've made me have a crisis 😔😔😔

I fully believed I wasn't into men, and then you convinced me to watch TGWDLM and Let it Out did *something* to my brain. Like how is he allowed to be... like that, when he's being controlled by a weird alien thing, I am HAVING. EMOTIONS.

And what, pray tell, Butterbriar are those emotions?

[perpetuallyboo]

My elf trying to analyze his way out of The Horrors™️ 😔

[moved-new-acc-in-pinned]

I love you loser boy

[bizbat]

When They're In Love - Jason Todd - 2

🕸️Spiderverse Masterlist🕸️

🐼JJK Masterlist🐼

~ Fem terms used for reader.

~ Mild smut.

~ You can find part one of these hcs here, and part three here.

~ You can find more of my works here.

~ Thank you to @the-best-of-the-myrmidona for requesting more When They're In Love Headcanons for Jason Todd!

~ SFW ~

He likes to sit with his head between your legs, in any context.

He likes when you massage his scalp with your legs dangling over his broad shoulders.

He loves it when you wear his clothes.

His heart always stops for a moment when he sees you come out of the shower, drying your hair with a towel, dressed in one of his shirts that just barely reaches down to your thighs, and rises as you reach up to take care of your wet hair.

Loves seeing your thighs.

He gives real "victorian man seeing an ankle" energy.

He loves feeling you against him.

He needs to feel your skin or your body pressing against his or he will have a bad day.

I feel like he always smells good, even if he doesn't smell good, yk?

Like even when he comes home smelling like blood, smoke, and gasoline, his natural musk probably still stands out.

Always catches him off guard when you wanna hug him before he showers.

He can't help but laugh when you bury your face into his chest to inhale more of his scent.

He likes it when you play with his hair, but also likes to play in yours.

Straight, wavy, curly, coiled, long, short, shaved.

He don't care.

Lay on his chest and let him play with your hair, now!

I think he can cook, but that he doesn't know a lot of recipes. He reads a lot of cookbooks though, so he always wants to try something new with you.

I think he always wants to impress you, but he wants to be lowkey abt it.

First time you come over his place, he scrubs every single square inch till it sparkles, but he'll throw a shirt over the couch, or leave out a plate, or something, so he can be all "Sorry about the mess, haha".

Like a loser smh.

I think he'd ask Alfred for a recipe that will be impressive, but not too hard or complicated.

I didn't include it in the last set of hcs, but im putting it here.

Jason would absolutely want to rescue a pet with you, I'm thinking either a massive black dog, or an old cat that has no teeth and has outlived three owners.

Something that needs love and hasn't been given it.

But, I also think he'd put it off bc he wants to be able to give it his full attention.

If he found the right ball of fur and teeth though, I think he might be compelled to take it home with him.

He loves to take naps. Especially with you.

I think it's his way of being vulnerable.

He'd let you touch his scars.

I don't think they'd be sensitive physically, but maybe they'd be sore reminders of his lack of a normal life.

That's why it's so special that he lets you of all people touch them.

~ NSFW ~

Loves loves loves kisses.

Let Me explain.

When he's got you on your back, your eyes glazed over and completely unfocused, his favorite thing to do is lean down, squeeze your cheeks until your lips pucker, and give you lots of sloppy kisses.

He doesn't mind all the drool, in fact, it kinda adds to it.

He'll wipe away the tears sliding down your cheeks with his thumb, before popping it into your mouth, letting you suck it off, before slipping his tongue between your lips so he can taste your sweat tears too.

He's so condensing too. :(

Mean, mean man.

Calls you names, likes to smack, spits.

I think he likes to display his strength, probably holds you up as he thrusts into you, no matter your weight.

I keep writing abt him and he's starting to grow on me smh.😒

Okay that's all for now! <3

[royalphantompain]

Man....... That's craaaazyyyy innit, mate. This scene is bonkers........

Like holy shit-

In the second episode, Pomni just looked so miserable for the first half of the episode.

Sopping wet cat of a woman

I mean, can you really blame her? After realizing that, basically, her old life is gone, and this is her new home now. Forever!!!! Yippie!!!! She had to come to terms with it yesterday. This honestly just sort of feels like she is dissociating.

But then, underneath the map, where Gummigoo demands to know what she is, and after he finds out the truth.

I think it's safe to say she is still not doing too well, but she sees this NPC in distress and still just feels wrong letting him stay that way. She knows he's fake but still goes to him.

Now, I also kind of like to interpret in a way that she can sort of relate to him finding out everything is not real. While she is a real person, does her life actually matter at this point? Is she even who she was when she was a human? She may have memories of her past like but she has a new face and a new name, and she can never go back to the real world, but that may be me reaching and maybe in the end she was only saying she related to feeling like nothing, and I just ranted about nothing and I am not normal.

Regradless, ever since she came here, this is the first person she actually has a real conversation with and actually confides in, and she offers him to stay in the circus with.

I mean, uhh, while that didn't go, uhhhhh, quite as planned, erm, awkwaaaaaard..... I do think this is a very important moment for Pomni and her development. Even though in the end, she did realize the other humans would care about her, the first person she connected with was this gelatin NPC, so he was still important to her, and probably meant a lot.

I absolutely adore episode 3 a lot, but I don't think it really adds anything here, so moving on.

God, she is such a pathetic fucking loser. She is so cringe and such a failure. I love her more than anything.

All of a sudden, someone who she considered a friend is now back after she aww him literally explode into confetti, but he just goes up to her and orders from her like it was nothing. How excatly do you react to that? Like she wanted to ask that, but do you just say, "Hey, remember that time I told you to come back home with me, but since you aren't real, I literally accidentally killed you?" But also, in his point of view, this stranger just comes up to him and can't even form a coherent sentence, and crawls on the floor, like huh???? Girl???? What is wrong with you???

LOOK JUST HOW UNCOMFORTABLE HE IS BECAUSE OF HER- LIKE IT IS GENUINELY SO SAD TO SEE POMNI TRYING TO BE BY SOMEONE SHE CONSIDERED A FRIEND BUT HE JUST FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND THIS WEIRD LITTLE JESTER- YOU CANNOT BLAME HIM FOR FEELING THIS WAY- AND SHE CAN SEE IT-

Before he opens the door, he still looks uncomfortable and just leaves her there, and he can not understand why she was acting this way.

Honestly it's this part that killed me the most.

That is not her friend. It's just a stranger using the same model. It isn't the Gummigoo she knew and had an important moment with.

This scene honestly was so cringey but in a way that was genuinely more sad than anything. I love it.

ANYWAY!!!!! I love this show, and I absolutely would love to spill my thoughts on absolutely everything in this new episode besides my beloved pathetic wet cat jester, but it's 2 AM, and I have to go to work at a job where sometimes I would rather eat glass and laundry detergent :']

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

It’s actually so funny to think abt chuuaku and sskk happening one right after the other cause imagine you’ve got THE Chuuya Nakahara. PM executive, fat paycheck, impeccable taste and style. All around catch….And then out of nowhere here comes this absolute fucking loser. no shoes, no job, literally a pathetic wet cat of a man. and against Akutagawa’s will, he’s like yeah, this is the one. Insane

[firethekitty]

Ranking Every Wolfwood!!

happy wolfwood wednesday! i've ranked every wolfwood and it very quickly got out of hand and turned into more of a character analysis/meta. it was really fun and helped me better understand why i love this guy so much!

yes, really!

i hope you guys enjoy and that my autistic rambling makes sense!

1. trimax wolfwood. yeah he’s perfect. nothing else to say. god bless

while i can’t fit everything i love about him into one post, just know that i’ve written almost 30,000 words in wolfwood (and vash) character studies. so when i say “i like trimax wolfwood” that really means “i am fucking obsessed with trimax wolfwood”.

he’s the perfect mix of silly and heartbreaking, funny and serious, annoying like an older brother, deeply kind, so so painfully human; and a PERFECT foil to vash. simply phenomenal writing.

my only complaint would be that his tits are not on display like they are in the 1998 anime. but i can appreciate the subtly, so this doesn’t detract from his otherwise flawless score.

2. 98 wolfwood. omg hiiiii hehe twirling my hair ohh he’s so handsome what an absolutely beautiful design for him. his nose, his spider-esque shape, his TITS…… they even kept his little whiskers!

on top of an amazing design, he’s a very good balance of silly, irritable, playfully annoying, and serious! he fits pre-trimax wolfwood to a T!

but, as trimax progressed…

he’s cool. too cool. he has too much pull. wolfwood should NOT have swag. genuinely it is imperative to his character that he is, and i say this as lovingly as possible, a fucking loser with no friends.

wolfwood is a deeply traumatized man. he isn’t nearly as charming as we, the audience, thinks he is. no one laughs at his jokes, his insults are crude and immature, he embarrasses himself in front of literal children…

god, he is so painfully awkward. and who wouldn’t be in his situation? to have your childhood stolen and forced to grow up as a weapon? not allowed to interact casually with anyone else during the most important developmental stage of your life?

he's just not suave like tri98 wolfwood is. so, while 98 wolfwood is an excellent character, he doesn’t entirely read “wolfwood” to me. similar to how 98 vash is good on his own, but he’s just not “vash”. this is, of course, the result of making an anime out of a manga that wasn’t even 30% finished at the time. while i don’t understand the reasoning behind this, i know that nightow desperately needed the funds the anime brought in, as well as the motivation to keep making trimax, so i have to simply make peace with the dated characterizations tri98 has.

but don’t get me started on the milly situation. really a godawful writing decision, idk who approved that mess.

3. tristamp wolfwood. he is so bullyable. he’s like a sopping wet cat. absolute fucking dweeb.

i debated this for a long time—whether i should rank tristamp wolfwood above tri98 wolfwood. and i asked myself, do i love tri98 wolfwood because he’s a good character and is similar to trimax wolfwood? does he even remind me of trimax wolfwood at all? well, not really, he’s very clearly based on pre-trimax, just like tri98 vash is.

ultimately i decided i do genuinely just prefer tri98 wolfwood, but i felt the need to defend tristamp wolfwood because i see a lot of fair criticisms but also really dumb discourse throughout the fandom about him. so here’s my attempt at trying to address these:

so, there are some things i really enjoy about him and some things i really dislike; and, unlike vash, most of these criticisms are not a result of time/pacing issues. they’re easily fixable.

like, for the love of god he NEEDS to get sillier. they got the loser part down, but he’s a bit too overtly sad in tristamp. i think he will be more like his trimax self in season 2, but wolfwood’s humor is in-part a coping mechanism and important to his character. he’s an older brother! he’s fucking annoying! he thinks he's funny when he isn't! we do get a little bit of this with him and meryl, when he's tormenting her at the campfire, and that’s what i want to see more of. even if he’s playing it up, he should be working on getting their guards down, convincing them he isn't going to betray them.

since tristamp takes place in a weird prequel sort of canon, i get that he would look/act younger than he is in trimax. i think he was modeled after the teenage wolfwood we see in the flashback scenes of him training for the eye of michael, where he’s noticeably less outgoing and more reserved.

however, this doesn’t change the fact that he WAS silly as a kid in trimax, before his “teenage angst phase” (hate to call it that when it’s more like a “realizing he’s going to die by the gun and not being able to do anything about it” phase). but he’s still a lot quieter and reserved in tristamp as a kid, so i think we really need to find a good balance here in the trigun adaptations.

another example of an easily fixable issue—i really hate how they did the “vash sees how kind wolfwood is” scene, in which wolfwood gives money/snacks to children. in tristamp, wolfwood already knows the kid is zazie, which tells us absolutely nothing about his character. this scene is almost entirely worthless, only good for reminding vash that he should eat, which gives tristamp its own not-as-good hospital yuri scene.

and, so, about the elephant in the room… i don’t think he was whitewashed. let me try to explain my thought process.

tristamp, as far as i can tell, doesn’t seem to be taking any inspiration from tri98, whose wolfwood is very explicitly a brown man. trimax wolfwood i feel is a bit more ambiguous in his skin tone, which alternates between dark screentones and completely uncolored pretty much at solid 50/50 odds. just fairly inconsistent overall, even on the official manga covers.

but this doesn’t mean wolfwood is white in tristamp, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his aquiline nose. the notorious scenes of him in the suns, looking white as a fucking sheet, shows us how a 3D environment can diminish a character’s silhouette and distinctive features.

compare this to scenes of wolfwood in a dim environment, or to the 2D scenes of child wolfwood and livio that i can't include bc i'm only allowed 10 pics. he looks MUCH better, much darker than vash, and as they both should appear in such lighting. it just doesn't add up—he should be much darker in strong light if they followed the same color values:

SO, even though i feel like all of this is more of a technical issue rather than malicious whitewashing, that doesn’t mean i think it’s acceptable. it looks fucking awful, and the lighting system needs major improvement to work with darker skin tones.

and, like, at the end of the day, wolfwood isn’t canonically latino, and he doesn't really have a consistent skin tone either. it’s a great headcanon, one i partially share, but it’s not canon. the only ethnicity that could technically be considered somewhat canon is japanese, as wolfwood was based off a japanese singer named tortoise matsumoto. you can see this resemblance best in early trigun!

and i really need to defend his nose!!! a lot of people say he lost his nose but he didn’t!! i promise it’s there!!! another victim of his 3D model, you can only see his nose from the side or in the 2D frame after he gets his shit wrecked. see how clearly he has a very well-defined nose when he’s hand-drawn? this is what i mean when i say a 3D environment can drastically alter a character’s important features, as much as i otherwise adore the animation for this show.

also, if you think nightow would let studio orange get away with not including his nose, you got another thing coming.

in conclusion, while i think tristamp wolfwood is a great start, he’s just not quite there yet. but i have immense faith that the next time we see him, he’ll look and act a lot more like he does in trimax!

i know this is true, because there are already some shots in tristamp where i’m just like. oh yeah. there he is. that’s wolfwood. there's the guy i love so much

...

well, that was long! this was really fun to write and i

oh jesus christ what the hell is that thing

4. badlands rumble wolfwood. ah, now here’s a great example of overt whitewashing. no lighting excuses this time, just blatant colorism.

even if he wasn’t ghostly white, there's just something about his design that makes me viscerally uncomfortable and i can’t pinpoint what it is exactly. he’s just so… angular. he has no scruff, no kitty cat mouth, his eyes are very oddly shaped, almost no eyebrows... i just really hate looking at him!

his ONLY saving grace is how mentally ill he acts in this movie. and his tits. otherwise i don’t really have much to say about him!

ok, now we’re done! and here’s a handy wolfwood chart i made to summarize everything.

really hope this was fun to read and if people liked this i'd be glad to write a vash version or other characters!! happy woowoo wednesday :)

[rogueddie]

yknow what I'm gonna defend that horrible wig Joe Keery has for Marmalade. it adds to the sad little loser boy vibe he has going on. just an absolute wet cat of a man.

[r-u-living]

Peter FUCKING Lucas. Bitchass horrible manky stinky loser has he ever taken a shower or whenever he steps into water does he start to cry like the wittle baby he is??? One look at a misty beach this man just starts to sob weep and wail the little twat he is "Oh boo hoo I'm an avatar of the fucking BABY!" EVERYONE IS LONELY YOU MOTHERFUCKING TONENAIL GIVE US BACK OUR MARTIN YOU TORY! AND I BET HES A FUCKING TORY AS WELL I CAN SEE HIM WITH THE SILLY LITTLE PATHETIC SMIRK LIKE "OOH LALA IM PETER HO HO HEHE IF I VOTE FOR THESE PRATS THEN EVERYONE WILL DISSOCIATE AND BE FUCKING DEPRESSED WITH THIS ABSOLUTE WET BEG OF HAM GOVERNMENT"

I'm literally twitching and vibrating right now I hate him so so so so so much I wish I could reach into the multiverse find the universe where tma exists and STRANGLE HIM! I know he has a massive motherfucking beard that reaches his knobbly ass knees and I BET YOU MY FIRSTBORN CHILD THERE IS CRUMBS LITTERED IN THERE LIKE A CAT AND HER KITTENS!! Does he even have stable bones or when the doctors cut him open do his bones just crumble into dust??? I promise on my mothers grave that he has dentures he came out the fucking womb with grey hair and a old man voice that can burn your ears from the inside out???? I have to take a brEAK FROM LISTENING TO THE BLOODY PODCAST CAUSE WHENEVER I HEARD PETER LUCAS'S GOD AWFUL CHEESE GRATER DOWN THE BLACKBORD VOICE I START TO TWICH AND GRIP THE THING IM HOLDING SO TIGHTLY I CRUMPLED SOME PAPER

If I was on the cusp of winning a game show for a billion million pounds and whoever said that I have to stay in a room with PETER FUCKING LUCAS and not stab him 7273728928273747382997474 times with a plastic spork that I sharpened on my own teeth I would pinkie promise I wouldn't then get in said room and stab him 7273728928273747382997474 with my plastic spork that I sharpened on my teeth.

Is this a copy of I fucking hate Jurgen Leitner? Probably but I HATE HiM SO MUCH I CAN EVEN CONSEPTULISE IT

[vikdec4i]

thoughts on wick being a paypig?

anon... i fear you know me too much to ask me this question. what a fascinating one, it's almost like i've had a past with a certain paypig character from a different media that got cancelled by netflix... anywho–

if we're talking modern au ABSOLUTELY. that man is a loser through and through. even HE knows it 😭😭😭 he'd be the perfect candidate for this, i can't see anyone else fitting this... err... title???? 💀

please take a good look at this man. he quite literally is a sopping wet cat !!

i would go into details but not right now... this was certainly a question tho!!! thank you anon... ???

[eeblouissant]

no thoughts just the way Dorothy turns into a complete loser nerd the second she’s confronted romantically

Reciting the fact that - “she read somewhere ~the other day~” - the human body regenerates its cells every seven years blah blah blah as this man is obviously leaning into her PUHLEASE. Your honour I’ve found the most precious fictional character to ever exist and it’s Dorothy Zbornak ARE YOU KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME !!!!!!!

Thinking SO many thoughts about the way Blanche/Rose would handle her absolute loser sopping wet cat energy in those situations because as far as I know they’ve never seen that side of it before 😭 oh god she’s so. She nervous infodumps guys. Guys. She nervous infodumps.

Blanche especially????? Are you kidding?? She’d get such a kick out of teasing her for that silly shit oh I’m sick … so many golden wives thoughts & so little time. Head full, so many ideas

[jennrypan]

Jason has a small fluffy black cat with protruding fangs and stubby legs.

She's called Muffins and he found her in Crime Alley being harassed by some loser teens that don't know how to act, preparing to throw some water balloons st the cat for some cheap laughs. He didn't hurt the teens, he didn't need to- a 6'3 build like a fridge man with a familiar red helmet doesn't really need to do much besides stand there to get others to scurry off and that's exactly what happened.

Truthfully, when they scampered off, Jason was gonna leave it at that- he has other things to be worrying about..until he looked closer at the little cat and she's just sitting there, fluffed up and scared- staring at him, covered in crumbs and dirt, fur all matted and wet..and Jason takes a few minutes to argue with himself. He can't take her in, he cant--

But even still..he's crouching down..cooing and beckoning for it to get closer, he expects it to run off like the teens or even hiss at him cuz he doesn't really give off an aura of 'comfort' but instead..the cat inches closer, small pink nose twitching and moving..before it's small head bumped against his fingers..well he'd be an absolute monster to not take her in right then and there, so thats exactly what he did.

So now Jason Todd aka Redhood, known crime lord and occasional partner to Batman and co..has been spotted frequently with a tiny little black cat on his shoulders wearing a red collar and make shift red cat helmet.

[nonhumanhottie]

The Bad Batch season 3 reaction

Episode 12 - Juggernaut

Oh it's Wrecker giving Crosshair shit intrtesting

Oh Crosshair is SO traumatised lol

Phee immediately roasting Crosshair and then immediately offering her help is do iconic

These establishing shots are so hyperrealistic what is going on

They are so stressed out by Phee and her techniques lmao

Rampart just casually being xenophobia classic

Also I love him being absolutely so pathetic just a real loser a wet cat of a man

Okay yeah just let the prisoners go without even removing their shackles

Everything Rampart says just makes me laugh

I feel like this episode's pacing is unhinged it's so fast

The way they are tossing Rampart's body like a rag doll

Hunter is surprisngly calm this whole episode I just wanna see him go apeshit come on

Oh the dreaded vault