#abscess game

[rotburger]

❗

[terrydoodles]

For today, I drew Fishbone from ABSCESS by DIGITALGODTOWER.

[shifscorner]

imma explode

[liminals-space]

watched my boyfriend play ABSCESS by digitalgodtower last night and it blew me away!! i had to draw fanart. heres fishbone and my favorite unhinged thing jojo ball

if you like surreal rpg maker games youll love love love this, its great. it's PWYW so you can get it for free if you want! i highly recommend it <3

my bf also uploaded a longplay of it to youtube so check that out if you cant play, it's only about an hour and a half long, i cant recommend it enough

[lovely-hikari-cosplay]

Replaying SMT V because I couldn’t get the idea of an Ailment build being viable (if not ideal) out of my head and I was able to beat the funny lvl 99 Abscess first try???

-

Note: This is on Normal difficulty but STILL

[froody]

I think we need to talk about gynecological exams more like dental work than just getting a vaccine, you know what I mean? Like, validate people’s fears and concerns so people will be more open to care. Getting an IUD isn’t just ‘a little pinch’, getting a pap smear does feel violating and deeply uncomfortable. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to need someone in the room with you or to need to pre-game with anxiety meds. You’re not weak if you feel that receiving gynecological care is more emotionally and physically taxing on you than other people.

You need to get that root canal to prevent an abscess in your jaw that could turn to full body sepsis. You need to get that pap smear to detect cervical cancers and viral infections that could lead to serious illness or death.

[dinasilvertongue]

Oh no—Cypris has a bloody little wound near her butt, too—it doesn’t look too bad but she’ll have to go to the vet…. Probably for the best, as we haven’t been in a while…

[melankkholy]

disco tits

✎ one shot where leon fucks u in your kitchen (?)

cw: d in p, creampie, ooc leon soo yeah, degradation, ouch, unprotected sex, fem! reader, MDNI

You really aren’t a slut, right? And yet, the dick that’s currently bouncing off you is the reason you look like the women in those pornographic videos—nipples are hard and ready to go. As for Leon, he’s the kind of guy who rarely resorts to such things—like one-night stands; he’s just a different story.

It’s the effect of your legendary disco tits – the ones that are sprouting out of your low-cut dress right now, the ones he has been staring at blatantly. Thank God, Leon feels deeply indebted that women don’t wear bras under such beautiful dresses.

Onto the scenery.

Your panties are already on the floor; who gives a fuck? Leon can’t keep his hands to himself and clutches your right tit. Crushingly like nails and all. The other one bounces on its own.

“Look at you, so proud, huh? Pretty little slut.” Leon praises, well, grunts – no doubt he’s praising. Debauched as hell, no place in heaven if there’s a heaven.

He has to be praising, hopefully. You’ll be the judge of that. Just do it later. Now, you’re quite busy.

Your legs are wrapped loosely around his waist, and your back is on the verge of a nasty twist on your kitchen island. Implicitly, you trust him; you just know that he won’t slip you down. Have you seen this guy? The master of manhandling.

Your thighs are deliciously spread apart so that Leon can shove his cock almost out of your dripping cunt, plush pussy lips beyond stretched out. He’s holding back a smirk as you give out the most succulent whimper. Your beautiful voice is so tangy that it sends goosebumps down his spine as he fills you. You swear you can fucking see all the colors behind your blurred vision and closed eyes—the complexity of a giant rainbow whenever the tip eases inside your abscessed cervix. Maybe you should ditch the work for tomorrow since there’s no way you’re going to be working your ass off after this shit.

“This dress is made for me, for me, fuck—too tight—to watch ’em tits.” Curses fly out of his mouth; no self-control. He’s fucking the most beautiful girl in the world in her kitchen, on your razed countertop, your cervix long gone—his condolences.

His thrusts are practically jostling your insides with every millisecond; yes, again with no fucking control. He knows you’re close—the stunned look on your face and the saliva glistening down from your mouth should be enough. So, Leon releases your tit and rubs your fat bud with the pad of his thumb until your nerves are frayed, leaving you crimped.

You can’t help it; you’re drizzling his cock with your own juices and swathing it so warmly that he feels thoughtful enough to consult you, albeit his normal pull-out game is shit. He’s so damn close. How could he not? What a pussy you have; he can’t stop admiring while he’s fucking. 

“Where? In your mouth or—”

You disturb his query. It’s so stupid. 

“Inside! Cum... inside.”

All night long, it’s the only sound you’ve made other than whimpering and whining—a high-pitched request, a necessity. Neither of you is sober enough to think about what happens next, and it doesn’t take long to get what you want. Leon’s watching with bated breath as your lovely pussy encases in his gleaming cum, thick and warm.

He still won’t pull it out, though; he loves and adores your cunt as he languidly and persistently moves his hips, fucking and shoving back the residue of cum through your wasted slit. He just needs to feel more, to keep you a while ’cause you’re beautifully slick; you’re written by his mess.

He really did it; his narcissism is through the roof. He fucked you so hard that bits and pieces of your brain melted out of your flushed and ringing ears. Makes him proud; he’d be a fool to lie, infringing Pinocchio himself to live with a longer dick. And his dick is already long, mind you. 

“Good girl, what a good fucking work and pussy.”

One of the few words he says minutes before he leaves your house, not that you can catch it in your hazy reverie as you’re still pining away, leaking on the counter like the dumb-fucked fool you are. At least you got his name and number... oh! Plus, his boxer briefs lay next to your panties. Well, a start is a start, you suppose.

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[deluxewhump]

Carlo’s Letters: Absalom (unsent)

CW: self harm, disordered and restrictive eating

January 2020

I know you think anything that draws blood is girlish and pitiful.

So sometimes I play a game with a boxcutter that makes me feel less responsible for when the blade nicks me. Still, afterward, I see my palms and arms shallowly slit up as if with cat scratches and I think, this is pathetic. Self pity, you called it. The worst thing in the world.

That’s the worst thing in the world, I quote under my breath as I toss the metal handle up so it spins in the air and I catch it on the way down. When I catch it blade first, the pain of it jolts through me like a small electric shock. It fades quickly but it releases pressure, like a dental instrument cutting into an abscessed gum. When the blade doesn’t nip me, I have to say it again, your condemnation of my self-pity. That’s the worst thing in the world.

I do this on my new master’s back patio, a half circle of stone tiles with wicker furniture and Adirondack chairs that are covered in frost half the day since the sun doesn’t hit this spot in winter. We’re up in the hills and there is truly no one out here, just the far away line of trees like druids with beards of virginal snow, the calls of chickadees and the chatter of squirrels. I see deer all the time in the yard. I watched the babies get bigger and lose their white spots. I know when I can’t stand the cold anymore because my fingers will get stiff and whitish-purple and I’ll just drop the stupid boxcutter altogether. Then it’s time to go inside and the self-pity ritual ends.

To avoid the shame of the boxcutter, I can also choose not to eat during the day. I eat with Max at night usually, and I don’t want him to notice, so I keep doing that. But I don’t have to eat all day. It’s better this way, because I can keep doing it for longer. If I stopped altogether the ruse would be up pretty quickly. But one meal a day? That’s perfect. The first week or so I feel physical hunger, but that fades. I get a sense of sharpness that I like. It feels like I’ve taken a stimulant.

I get dizzy when I stand up fast, but I don’t black out. I still eat once a day, so it’s not that bad. And it makes eating way more pleasurable. Anything at all tastes incredible. My mouth waters from the smell alone. I notice textures as if I’ve never eaten them before. I swear I can feel my blood sugar rising, and when it plateaus later. I always leave some on my plate so Max doesn’t think I’m hungry, even if I want to finish it. Im not sure what he’d say, but I hate his disappointment. More than I hated yours. Sometimes I flirted with your disappointment just to get your eyes on me, to get you to look at me at all. His feels different.

I’m hungry when I go to bed at night even just a few hours later, but it doesn’t keep me awake. I’m in control of it. It keeps me company. Like a dog at my feet.

I’ll stop if I get too skinny again. I know you don’t think I will but I will. I don’t know if I ever fully realized this until the day I saw you on tv with your lawyers, coming out of a Baltimore courthouse as if it were a O&H shareholder meeting, but you’re not omniscient. We don’t have telepathy. You don’t know everything. It’s not about that anyway, it’s about feeling the way I need to feel so I don’t lose my mind. And I can’t cut my hands to ribbons, so I do this for a few months instead.

It thrills me that you can’t take my face in your hands and use your quietest, calmest voice to bully me, or force me, or even sweet-talk me into submission. Sometimes I think of the fact that you can’t even leave your cell without permission and I laugh out loud. You and your cabal of colleagues, workers, hired help, house-call doctors. It was all so tight under your rotten fucking thumb.

(Unsigned)

[gargyshmub]

I think you would like the game Abscess by DigitalGodTower!

thank you, you ANONYMOUS fucking coward. this game was really fun, I think it's worth playing for the silly gimmicks and bizarre art alone, it was very swag <: )

[rotburger]

[dreamerdrop]

Fun lil timeline notes regarding Abscess Verse. (These are VERY rough and are just meant as a little guideline for me when writing anything that intersects with a specific episode, otherwise the timeline of the fic is just super loose and whatever the heck I feel like on any given day.)

1 Emissary: Benjamin Sisko, a Starfleet commander and veteran of the Battle of Wolf 359, is assigned to Deep Space Nine, a captured Cardassian space station near Bajor. The discovery of a stable wormhole leading to the Gamma Quadrant, and the incorporeal aliens worshipped by Bajorans as gods living within it, forever changes Sisko's destiny. January 3, 1993

2 Past Prologue: As Bashir becomes acquainted with a Cardassian "tailor" named Garak, a Bajoran terrorist tied to Kira's past attempts to drive a wedge between the Federation and Bajor. January 10, 1993

3 A Man Alone: Odo is accused of murdering a Bajoran criminal, causing unrest among the station's Bajoran citizens. January 17, 1993

4 Babel: A mysterious plague sweeps across the station, rendering people incapable of speaking coherently. January 24, 1993

5 Captive Pursuit: O'Brien finds himself protecting an alien from the Gamma Quadrant who is being pursued by hunters. January 31, 1993

6 Q-Less: Vash, an adventurous archaeologist, arrives on the station. Unfortunately for everyone aboard, she is being pursued by Q, the interdimensional troublemaker. February 7, 1993 [SLOAN SHOWS UP AROUND HERE, PROBABLY POST EPISODE.]

7 Dax: A request for extradition is made against Jadzia Dax for a thirty year old murder case, in which Curzon, the Dax symbiont's previous host, is a prime suspect. February 14, 1993

8 The Passenger: An alien fugitive is brought aboard the station in a comatose state. Little does anyone realize, the fugitive has transferred his consciousness to someone else. February 21, 1993 [SLOAN TAKES MORE OVERT INTEREST IN JULIAN HERE, SUPPOSEDLY DUE TO SECURITY CONCERNS ABOUT JULIANS BRAIN HIJACKING.] [SLOAN MIGHT WELL RUN BACKGROUND CHECKS ON JULIAN IMMEDIATELY AND PIECE TOGETHER HIS AUGMENT STATUS AS EARLY AS THIS, TBH.]

9 Move Along Home: After attempting to cheat ambassadors from the Gamma Quadrant, Quark finds himself playing a dangerous game in which the rules are never explained, and the lives of Sisko and his crew are at stake. March 14, 1993

10 The Nagus: The sudden demise of Grand Nagus Zek, leader of the Ferengi Alliance, thrusts Quark into the Nagus's position of power, with all of the dangers that come with it. March 21, 1993 [SLOAN BEGINS DATING BASHIR SOMETIME AROUND HERE, SPECIFICS AREN’T SUPER IMPORTANT.]

11 Vortex: A Gamma Quadrant fugitive approaches Odo with an enticing offer: in exchange for his freedom, he’s willing to tell Odo about others of his kind. April 18, 1993

12 Battle Lines: Sisko, Bashir, Kira, and Kai Opaka find themselves stranded on a planet where the inhabitants are locked in an eternal war and no one can die. April 25, 1993 [SLOAN USES THESE EVENTS TO START ASKING HIS ODD HYPOTHETICALS, MAKES ALLUSIONS TO SECTION 31, BUT DOESN’T REVEAL ANYTHING IMMEDIATELY.]

13 The Storyteller: O'Brien finds himself in the unenviable position of fending off a strange energy being threatening a Bajoran settlement, and the only way to protect the people is to recite an old story. May 2, 1993 [BETWEEN THIS AND THE LAST EPISODE, SLOAN USES JULIANS ABSENCES FROM THE STATION AS A WAY TO JUSTIFY MONOPOLIZING MORE AND MORE OF HIS TIME ON THE STATION, BEGINNING THE GRADUAL PHASE OUT OF OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.]

14 Progress: Kira is sent to oversee the evacuation of a Bajoran colony situated on a moon that’s about to become uninhabitable. She has her work cut out for her, as one ornery farmer refuses to leave. May 9, 1993

15 If Wishes Were Horses: A spatial anomaly has given life to the imaginations of the station's inhabitants, as everyone and everything from fairy tale villains to baseball stars of yesteryear appear and cause havoc. May 16, 1993 [WOULD REQUIRE AN ALMOST COMPLETE REWRITE.]

16 The Forsaken: The station finds itself crippled by an alien computer during a visit from the Betazed ambassador Lwaxana Troi. May 23, 1993

17 Dramatis Personae: A psychic imprint from a civilization that self-destructed forces itself upon the station's crew. May 30, 1993

18 Duet: Kira suspects that a Cardassian infected with an illness that can only come from Bajoran labor camps may be an infamous war criminal. June 13, 1993

19 In The Hands Of The Prophets: Tensions flare on the station as Vedek Winn, a dogmatic leader of Bajor's faithful, takes umbrage with Keiko O'Brien's secular teachings of the wormhole. June 20, 1993

— [WHEN NOT OTHERWISE NOTED, SLOANS RELATIONSHIP WITH JULIAN IS QUIETLY RAMPING UP IN THE BACKGROUND, BUT NEITHER JULIAN NOR ANYONE ELSE HAS NOTICED YET THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG.]

1 The Homecoming (first of a three-parter): As Kira aids a Bajoran Resistance hero trapped in a labor camp, a group of extremists known as "the Circle" call for all non-Bajorans to leave their homeworld. September 26, 1993

2 The Circle (second of a three-parter): As the Circle advances their agenda, Sisko and Odo must discover the force leading their coup of the station. October 3, 1993

3 The Siege (third of a three-parter): Sisko finds himself in a desperate struggle to retake the station from the Circle as Kira and Jadzia hold evidence of the true source of the extremists' martial might. October 10, 1993

4 Invasive Procedures: A trill who had been denied the chance to have a symbiont implanted in him kidnaps Jadzia to take the Dax symbiont for himself, endangering Jadzia's life. October 18, 1993

5 Cardassians: A Cardassian war orphan and his adoptive Bajoran father arrive on the station, piquing Bashir and Garak's curiosity. October 25, 1993 [SLOANS EMOTIONAL ABUSE RAMPS UP AFTER THIS, JULIANS RELATIONSHIP WITH GARAK ABRUPTLY ENDS.]

6 Melora: Bashir meets and falls for a Starfleet officer whom he helps adapt to life in normal gravity as Quark's former associates threaten him. October 31, 1993 [EPISODE MOSTLY UNCHANGED BUT MADE PLATONIC, SLOANS JEALOUSY REARS IT’S UGLY HEAD. JULIANS INSIGHT INTO DISABILITY AND OTHER COMMENTS CAUSE SLOAN TO START PIECING TOGETHER SOMETHING JULIAN DOESN’T WANT KNOWN.]

7 Rules of Acquisition: Quark is given a task by the Grand Nagus; to open negotiations with a planet discovered in the Gamma Quadrant that could bring profit to the alliance. November 7, 1993

8 Necessary Evil: Odo investigates a five-year-old cold case that is tied to a recent attempt on Quark's life. November 14, 1993

9 Second Sight: Sisko finds himself falling in love with a woman who arrived on the station, but there is much more to her than meets the eye. November 21, 1993

10 Sanctuary: A group of refugees come from the wormhole in search of their homeworld. November 28, 1993

11 Rivals: A con-artist opens a new bar on the station, threatening Quark's business. January 3, 1994 [JULIAN NEVER PLAYS WITH O’BRIEN. SLOAN GUILTS HIM FOR WANTING TO. SLOAN PIECES TOGETHER FROM JULIANS STORIES THAT HE IS MUCH STRONGER AND FASTER THAN HE LETS ON.]

12 The Alternate: The Bajoran scientist who first discovered Odo comes with evidence that the Constable is not alone in the universe. January 9, 1994 [JULIAN REVEALS CRAPPY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS OWN PARENTS. SLOAN FILES THIS AWAY WITH OTHER INFORMATION GARNERED.]

13 Armageddon Game: O'Brien and Bashir aid in efforts to disarm two warring factions' biological weapons. Unfortunately for them, the powers that be decide that they know too much. January 30, 1994 [MOSTLY UNCHANGED, BUT THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN JULIAN AND MILES NEEDS TOTAL REWRITING. SLOAN DISCOVERS JULIAN IS AN AUGMENT POST EPISODE. JULIAN HAS AN AUTISM MELTDOWN, AND SLOAN USES HIS VULNERABILITY AND THE EXCUSE THAT KEIKO COULD TELL THE VIDEO WAS FAKE BUT HE COULDN’T TO COAX JULIAN INTO ADMITTING HE WAS AUGMENTED AS A CHILD, AS SOME TWISTED DISPLAY OF TRUST.] [Wether he knows of this prior is largely irrelevant, because this is still the point at which he begins using it to actively manipulate Julian.]

14 Whispers: O'Brien returns to the station, only to find everyone aboard acting bizarrely. February 6, 1994 [SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THIS AND THE WIRE, SLOAN BEGINS HIS HABIT OF ASSAULTING JULIAN WHILE HE SLEEPS, AND THE ODD HYPOTHETICALS SLOAN POSISTS BEGIN RESULTING IN COINCIDENTAL DEATHS.]

15 Paradise: Sisko and O'Brien find themselves on a planet where human colonists live without technology, a way of life they are determined to keep by any means necessary. February 13, 1994

16 Shadowplay: Odo and Jadzia investigate a Gamma Quadrant colony where people have begun to vanish under mysterious circumstances. February 20, 1994

17 Playing God: As Jadzia mentors a Trill hoping to be joined to a symbiont, a protouniverse has begun to materialize, threatening the station and the entire Bajoran sector. February 27, 1994

18 Profit and Loss: Quark reunites with an old flame, a Cardassian professor...but is she still the same woman he remembers? March 20, 1994

19 Blood Oath: A group of Klingons seek out Curzon Dax to help them carry out an act of vengeance. Jadzia, Curzon's successor, decides to help fulfill an old promise. March 27, 1994

20 The Maquis Part I: Tensions flare between the station and the Cardassians when a freighter is destroyed by a Bajoran insurgent group. April 24, 1994

21 The Maquis Part II: Sisko must stop a war from starting by rescuing Gul Dukat from the Maquis. May 1, 1994

22 The Wire: Garak's life is endangered by a brain implant he was given during his days as a spy. Bashir must try to save Garak before the decaying implant kills him. May 8, 1994 [SLOANS ABUSE BECOMES MORE PHYSICAL, MORE AGGRESSIVE, JULIAN BEGINS TO FEAR FOR HIS LIFE AND CAN NO LONGER INTERNALLY DENY THAT SLOAN IS ABUSIVE.]

23 Crossover: Kira and Bashir find themselves in an alternate universe, where the Bajorans rule over the Alpha Quadrant with an iron fist, and Kira's counterpart reigns as a brutal dictator. May 15, 1994 [KIRA BECOMES AWARE THAT JULIAN IS BEING ABUSED. JULIAN GIVES KUKALAKA TO GARAK, BELIEVING THAT SLOAN MAY KILL HIM IF HE TRIES TO LEAVE.]

24 The Collaborator: Kira falls for Vedek Bareil, a spiritual leader for Bajor. Unfortunately for them, Bareil is accused of aiding the Cardassians during the occupation. May 22, 1994

25 Tribunal: O'Brien is arrested by the Cardassians on charges of aiding the Maquis. Is there any chance of saving him from execution in a legal system where the accused is always declared guilty? June 5, 1994

26 The Jem'Hadar: Sisko, Quark, Jake, and Nog go camping, only to find themselves in the crosshairs of the Dominion and their footsoldiers, the Jem'Hadar. June 12, 1994 [JULIAN IS PLACED ON LEAVE ROUGHLY A WEEK POST EPISODE, SLOAN IS ESCORTED OFF THE STATION. THERE ARE THREE MONTHS BETWEEN THIS AND THE EVENTS OF THE SEARCH.]

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

fanfic end of year asks!

a fic you didn’t expect to write

something you learned this year

fic(s) you completed this year

fics you’ll continue next year

Thanks for the ask! ^_^ (For this ask game.)

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

speech is silver, silence is golden, lmao. I really truly did not expect to write Garak/Morn smut. But when my friend requested it, I knew exactly how to write it lol. <3

15. something you learned this year

I may have already learned this, but exchanges with delayed fic reveals and then author reveals a week or so after that are BRUTAL on me, and I may (or may not) just avoid them from now on hahaha. The usual fic-posting waiting-for-comments anxiety but drawn out over a muuuuuch longer time period (finish the fic before the deadline to submit, wait a million years for it to even get revealed anonymously, then wait another whole week before I can even link to it on my blog...).

16. fic(s) you completed this year

27 fics finished this year!! Wooooo! (...And I may update this post later if I post any more hehe.)

completed fics posted:

the looking-glass war (Past Prologue Sisko POV, background Garashir)

and if you don't love me now, you will never love me again (Garashir, Broken Link getting together fic)

lockstitch (Sloanshir, embroidery as torture, sometime post-IAESL)

partners in crime (Siskarak, post-ITPM smut)

kiss me hard before you go (Garashir, Extreme Measures getting together fic)

Unlikely Weapon (Garashir, Julian killing Sloan = Garashir getting together scenario lol)

a contract is a contract is a contract (Quark/Brunt smut set during Body Parts)

me and the devil walking side by side (Siskarak smut about devotion and corruption and recognition of the self in the other and all that good stuff)

you're a criminal as long as you're mine (Siskarak smut set during Second Skin, about crossing and setting boundaries, and the homoerotic relationship between a weapon and its wielder)

speech is silver, silence is golden (Garak/Morn smut with pre-Garashir feels. Garak obvs gags Morn during the sex lol.)

every breath you take (Sloan records Garashir having sex)

going up, going down (cracky Siskarak smut, blowjob in the turbolift during ITPM)

A Professional Interest (augmentphobic Sloan interrogates Julian)

Deserted (Garashir stranded on a desert planet)

touch (Garashir IPS/BIL missing scene multichapter fic)

fics for events/exchanges that had restricted word counts (250 words or 300 words):

gaslight gatekeep girlboss (Kira/Winn and Kira/Ziyal, exactly what the title says lol)

the pros and cons of being possessed (Kira/Keiko, argument about what happened to Kira in The Reckoning and what happened to Keiko in The Assignment)

feels so right (Jadzia/Kira, Kira's fun way of coping with her internalized homophobia)

both lips on the mirror (Intendant/Kira, mirror Kira is obsessed with her counterpart)

not unfaithful but I'll stray (Kirawinn, Strange Bedfellows)

chirality (Intendant/Kira smut, Crossover)

drabbles (100 words):

lying down with dogs (Siskarak smut)

i think we're alone now (Garashir, IPS/BIL cuddles)

The Descent (quodo, The Ascent smut)

never loved nobody fully (Disko, two alternate versions provided depending on which Cardassian you want Sisko to actually be into lol. also some amazing people made a podfic of this, which is just so cool!!!)

The Mole (Sloan vs Kukalaka >:3)

sunshine bouquet (Garashir fluff, DBIP)

aaaaand, not fics, but while I'm rounding everything up, here's links to the two amvs I finished this year too:

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls - Garashir (tumblr, youtube)

meet me in the pale moonlight by Lola Violet (tumblr, youtube)

17. fics you’ll continue next year

Sleep Awake is my only partially posted wip, but I have many unposted wip documents that I intend to post next year (or whenever I finish them)! These include wips with document titles such as: siskarak strip poker, Sub Rosa sloanshir, soulmate sloanshir, aphrodisiac sloanshir, Inquisition in the Abscess 'verse, julian jealous of imagined siskarak, and garak jealous of imagined sloanshir. :) (P.S. - Anyone can always feel free to ask me about any of those and I will immediately go write/edit at least a sentence on it. Trick me into making incremental progress on my shit, please!)

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hi mara, i just wanted you to know i really envy the way you write! it’s beautiful, you’re able to put things so eloquently. i must admit i even checked out your a:n fics, (which, being quite honest, i lack interest in the game) however, that aside, your writing itself is what drew me into them and kept my intrigue. i think i’m most pulled in by your original works though— your work titled “Haunted House” about the shadow arcade is one i haven’t been able to stop thinking about since i read it months prior. the transition from the uncomfortable familiar into the mundane abnormal just hits the spot. it’s definitely my favorite from you, and usually i only frequented your BL stuff before reading this new batch.

Haunted House is my favorite i think! i aspire to learn to write such seamless shifts in reality. have a nice day and may the new year continue to treat you well.

hi anonymous!

i have church in an hour from now; really appreciate this message, so thank you!

which haunted house, though? I wrote two--and mostly intend to keep rewriting the same story as a regular Halloween tradition; I think the first one was stronger but both suffer from "forced marching through a plot to finish up a writing project" feeling; the second haunted house I really wanted to double-down on the blue beard themeing but felt it was all a bit thin in the end; too: in either story I never quite describe the shadow projector in a way that lives up to my vision for it--you know those old wheely carts schools used to bring out TVs for substitute teachers? like one of those holding a projector and several rectangular devices corded up together in some big electronic tangle, and the device is meant to spray a dark light over a person (i imagine the shadowy tumors that come up upon x-ray but encompassing the whole of the scan), and then the images the 'subject' sees within the arcade therapy are constantly sent to a fax-machine like device in the observation chamber and printed for analysis/record; in a direct way, it is a strange abscess opened up in the self for a masturbation--where the malignant desires of the person are meant to become a self-filling pus to fill up that abscess: the necrophile fills themself up with a world of carcass; the murderer fills themself up with blood; the other philes, similarly; and the world and body outside are kept clean while the little cyst capsule swells.

but, every writing attempt to plan something greater and edit for cleaner prose ends with me never finishing anything--see isekai, warhammer fanfic, the latest a:n fanfic (completely understand a disinterest); the BL stuff is funny to mention because i:d been thinking on it lately after revisiting my substack to compile a page organizing all my faith-related writing (work in progress), because i remember what had prompted all of it to be written: there was this really desperate pain inside me to 'connect' with absolutely anything--but there were no people, no relationships, no touch or no outlet and so i thought the best thing to do were to write short rapid stories that would be connection points--this is where i slip into something paranoid, which also i had been thinking about lately; sometime after i went to 'wilderness' and forbid myself from expressing anything to others for a short period of a month or two, and mostly kept all my pains to be expressed exclusively to prayer--and, seemed like i learned some self-coping skill through that, but, too: i gained eye towards hooks i referred to; connective hooks that come from inflammation upon the brain and spirit: pain, and community; all pain seemed to only serve a purpose to lure a soul to express it whether through outreach, art, writing, listening to music, etcetera--and through any selected mean the result would be to connect and let the pain bridge nerves between two people; the outside intellect, the invisible thing outside the two people, would shepherd peoples together with its will that way: my BL writing would not be some honest expression of the self, but nothing more than mind-control to force me to connect with others and become enmeshed in a pain mathematic that runs through the world and feeds flesh to the invisible; carcass: the desired state; for the rotted and depleted mind had no hook for the invisible to rent and were the only thing clean in this world; and, in the desired state: there was no room for passion to write, towards artwork; towards anything; for this worlds electricity is connection, befouled, and the Etiquette guides towards this electricity being dimmed in increments until the bulb goes candle pale and then ghost as its only being of light; --so the paranoid suggests.

you might like alice munro's writing, if you like "really normal" -> "abnormal," i:ve only read too much happiness by her but i thought it was a masterwork short story collection, and really lately what excites me most to write is finding an author that writes beautifully (this is christina stead, for me, lately);

line 6,

line 7,

take care, anonymous

[definitelynotshouting]

yeah have some uhhhhhh fuckin,, 4am angst from last night lmfao

tw: suicide and death mentions (canonical ending of 3rd life)

So he tries again. "Scar," he says, "I killed you."

Scar blinks. "I mean– yeah, I heard you the first time, but, uh... why is that a big deal, again?"

Grian stares up at him. Trembles. In the absence of the sheets and Scar's body, he is very, very cold. He's unsure how to take this icy pit at the core of him and shove it into Scar's hands, so he can look, so he can see the creeping abscess within.

"Scar–" he tries, then breaks off, chewing the inside of his cheek. "Scar, I– I thought– you really don't remember anything?"

Scar's smile is strained at the corners. "Nope, sorry. Believe me, I've tried, but–" he raps his knuckles against his forehead– "there's nothing up here in the ol' noggin that knows what you're talking about."

Grian falls silent, and Scar falls silent too, and between them that yawning chasm widens another perilous inch.

Grian takes in a deep, juddering breath. "I didn't remember anything either. From– from Hermitcraft."

A visible ripple of tension runs through Scar's body. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah." Grian's throat is dry. "None of us did. We didn't... I knew I knew you, and I knew we– that we'd played games together before, but... not like this one. Not so... permanent."

There. That's the word he's looking for, wrenched from his throat and held out in bloody palms like an offering. Permanence.

Copper floods his mouth; he's bitten through his own cheek, and Scar catches his wince. "You okay, G–?" he starts, but Grian just shakes his head, cuts him off.

"Scar, when I killed you, I thought it was permanent. I thought you–" he chokes on it, just a bit. Punches through the knot tying up his throat. "I thought you were gone forever."

Then, succinct: "I jumped."