#about to off myself bye!
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Just roll out into the water, right? Roll out into the water just like all these other motherfuckers around here trying to drown their sorrow.
Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea.
Y Tu Mamá También (2001) dir. Alfonso Cuarón Moonlight (2016) dir. Barry Jenkins
#filmgifs#filmedit#y tu mamá también#moonlight#moonlightedit#y tu mamá también edit#y tu mama tambien#ggbedit#gael garcía bernal#gael garcia bernal#diego luna#maribel verdú#trevante rhodes#andré holland#mahershala ali#my gifs#*#about to off myself bye!
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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I have 5 different fic ideas writing down in my phone memo. They all came to me in the space of a week.
I think I'm cursed with ideas and no time to explore them.
#inspiration is amazing#and everybody knows those two idiots in love inspire me a lot#but I have no fucking time for all of this#I wish I could write about them more#I wish I could draw them too#I started a kind of comic book drawing with them#I'd like to draw something for every fic I wrote#like bits of dialogue or just one drawing to set the tone of the fic#we should just be allowed to take a day off when inspiration is there#or just say to your boss#inspiration is there I have to go bye and just take off#but right now I think I need at least a whole week#where like I see nobody and just expresses myself through art#I don't know#they make me sick#with inspiration I guess#and when you're sick#well you just have to stay home you know#so I should be able to#destiel#deancas#castiel#dean winchester#writing fanfiction#I wish I had more time to do that actually#my personal experience with destiel#my destiel fanfic
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make your mean spirited jokes about men all you want but byeeeeeeeeee
#dont expect me to want to stick around and be ok w hearing it. im tired. idc anymore.#im over here trying to feel euphoria about myself and everyone else is trying to make me feel like shit about wanting to be a guy#so for my own mental health im peacing out.#i think ppl really underestimate the negative impact hearing 'men are trash' repeated over and over and over again has on trans guys#when a message is repeated enough to you you start to believe its true or at least pretend to to not upset the people around you even tho#it hurts so fucking badly to hear- that the kind of person you are is just irredeemable trash.#thanks. bye. fuck off and out of here.#like this was the website that was all 'we dont need men anymore genocide men' like i remember reading that shit ok. im tired. im over it.#im worn with enough experience with this kind of shit that i dont want to be around it anymore.#and no the 'genocide men' shit wasnt a joke. it was a serious consideration on a post about the possibility of conceiving children#through bone marrow.#I Dont actually have to hangout w you if i constantly feel like you're shitting on me
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I love ur blog bro Sendou is like my favorite character he’s criminally underrated
HE IS AND IT'S SO DEVASTATING
I think its mainly because Aiku is often the main focus and Sendou only ever appears alongside him. So as a consequence it ends up being his most popular ship and sidelines him as a companion piece to Aiku. He's such a cutie though with so much potential I can't help but love him.
Mainly because he still has that optimism for playing Ace that Aiku lost/gave up on in his early years. He's egotistical and in his own head and personally if Blue Lock was started earlier I think he would've thrived. Hell he's thriving right now! He's such a interesting character to nitpick and Im glad he's becoming other peoples favourite too<3 Ive been yelling into a void for way too long lmao
#Sendou Shuto#Blue Lock Sendou#BLLK#Blue Lock#Ask#I'm waiting patiently for his Blue Lock bible entry I want to know more about him#Cut myself off cause I take any chance to talk about him like a fish to bait#k bye
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#the holidays are always a struggle for me but i want everyone to know that despite everything i've been really grateful to be part of#your lives this year#i'm going to write an actual end of year post but i just have met so many lovely people this year#i've reconnected with more#i feel so sick most of the time and i'm trying very hard to get better#and at the risk of sounding pathetic#it's rare that i feel as though i can call a person a friend#i'm quick to close off and i share things about myself to sort of perform vulnerability while never opening up#but i can truly say that i've been thankful for what bg3 has brought me this year#ok bye
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i just wanna make enough money to be able to live in this stupid world. what does that feel so fucking impossible
#HOW DO I GET A JOB THAT PAYS ME REAL MONEY#I'M TIRED OF BEING FUCKING POOR#ok i'll stop now. i'm going to go to the grocery store. maybe going outside will fix me#it also feels so fucking crazy bc i'm better off right now than i have been in the past. i can get takeout! i can get a sandwich!#but i can't live by myself here. i can't afford car payments. i can't rent studio space#whatever. i want things to be different but so does everybody else. i'm not special. no more being MAUDLIN BYE!!!!!!!#chatpost#cant wait to go be stressed about prices at the grocery store too. lol
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something about a carlos who never thought he'd find a love that feels so right and so deep and finally having it and so all he wants now is to spend time is with TK, he wants to do so much with him, he wants to go on adventures and travel the world with the love of his life and he wants to take his time savouring that love and how good it feels 😭
#AND SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JUST ENDING HIS TALK WITH HOW TK IS GONNA MAKE A FANATICS HUSBAND AND KISSING HIM SWEET 😭#flinging myself off the nearest bridge#BYE#911 lone star#911 ls#tk strand#carlos reyes#ronen rubinstein#rafael silva#4x12
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Top ten photos that gave me emotional whiplash
#for context I drew this in middle school in 2019… it was a different time#all I remember about making this was that I thought it was the funniest shit ever and that I didn’t want to take myself too seriously#this is a time capsule image#but looking at it makes me want to explode#that’s all bye im so sorry current BMC fans i was the reason people make fun of us#be more chill#posting this is going to take 50 years off my life bye
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sister saw me wearing the puffer that i use for my daigo cosplay since im cold all the time and sweaters arent enough and she was just like 'i really like it :) you look so. 👊💥' and after going What she was like 'you look real cool :) is what i meant :)' like thank you sister of mine youre too silly for this life
#snap chats#like she punched the air and made a punch sound effect fwrjflkjle#i mean she is not. WRONG with miming that about this jacket so 💀💀💀💀#also funny im wearing my own cross necklace and a black shirt and pants. lmao#also yeah i have two puffers- one's meant for the rain and REALLY cold weather and the second one's just. Casual/Daigo#'why are you like this' cause the other puffer's way too buiky fr casual wear and daigo and the interior isn't black like his is#this one's more slim and has a black interior. which is so funny cause when i was looking for a puffer for daigo years ago#it was impossible finding such a thing specifically but i got bored and decided to look again recently and i found it on the first page#for like. three cents basically too fejLRKjELj so thats cool. cant wait to show it off at animenyc#no im actually so excited bout animenyc ... hopefully i can actually. attend a meetup unlike last time 💀#i also didnt get to go last year so itll be fun going to a con again ..#im just stoked in general bout the small-but-meaningful-edits-to-me ive done to the whole look#s'gonna be fun .. AND im gonna try tweaking my mine one too since i got compelled to do That with all the mine talk lately#idk when id show that one off if ever. UNLUCKY that i hate taking pics of myself no one ever gets to see my cosplays unless its video form#ok im done rambling i have some stuff to do before i take an exam bye
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I let her hold him for ten seconds
#snap shots#you cant hear it but im fighting god himself not to cackle PLEASE#THIS WASNT EVEN THE FIRST THING SHE DID SHE MADE HIM THROW IT BACK I ALMOST THREW UP A LUNG#anyway yeah thats my friend kayla. the main nut i talk about SJSOSDHWK#she pissin me off rn tho… she aint doin her fucksss assignment That Why I Aint In My Dorm Playing RIVALS RIGHT NOW#ok bye im gonna get work done myself i GUESS 🙄
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the greatest struggle of all is believing komaeda would be hypersexual (it makes sense given what we know — i could write up a whole thing on it), but knowing half the fandom portrays him that way — but like. in a way i hate and view as really strange LMAO.
#nsft tw#blushy/drooly komaeda my hated#there are so many characters who have sprites like that and komaeda ain’t one of them#HELL he probably doesn’t blush much at all!!#mr. anemic over here#also pure bottom/submissive komaeda#hate that too#komaeda’s literally known for contradicting himself in almost everything he does#he’s just as likely to fully submit to you as he is to be like— ‘mmm no. i’m just gonna do this myself. bye.’ — or to flip into a dom role#don’t get me started on how servant is treated#ooohh i could pop off about despair komaeda#idk if people are interested in my particular headcanons about all this tho#literally considered makin a sin only blog just so i could scream about this#like RIBSD not even to put threads there just like#pop off#♡₊˚ ☘️・₊✧ » ooc : post ─ 𝘏𝘖𝘓𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘖𝘍 𝘒𝘖𝘔𝘈𝘌𝘋𝘈 𝘏𝘖𝘛 𝘛𝘈𝘒𝘌𝘚. ❞
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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it
#its like#people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards#except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that#and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option#and like#vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them#a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr#where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them#part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling#like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other#vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented#like? its not like theres any one way to fandom#and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs#but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like#idk#feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want#.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend#i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me#but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs#which is a very different dynamic#its like. hmmm words#i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages#vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal#if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe#and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need#before returning to it later when i have more time/energy#its got Longevity that discord lacks u know#........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE
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if i had an allergic reaction again will my friend appear to hold my hand again if i get really drunk again will they carry me home if i'm too sick to get up will she call me at 5 AM to check up again if we've missed a flight and we're stuck in city we weren't meant to be in at 2AM will he tell me about philosophy again if i make bad decisions will she almost slap me in the face and hand me a cigarette again if i feel lost will she share shitty kebab and tell me about her life again will we get to play poker together again
#will he text me for advice about girls again#will she let me walk her home and tell me about her love life again#will she bleach my hair again will she cut my hair again will he teach me about jets and airplanes and the armories in his school again#will she tell me about the bell jar will she write music about me will they braid my hair in a hot summer again#will he walk next to me and tell me about how he wants to become an art curator? will he almost fall into a canal?#will she tell me to bite on a menthol cigarette again#will i get to see them smile again#i know we grow around memories and you never get over a person you lost really you just grow into and around the space they left behind#but theres just a lot of space#will i ever be big enough for everyone i ever loved#carrying memoried is so insane like what a monumental task#(id rather die than not carry them at all though maybe that's the same thing twice)#welcome to london paddington . etc etc#my friend cooked for me when i was too overtaken by heartache to do it myself. yesterday she put a blanket on me without me asking#if i lose her one day how will i carry that#idk how we are capable of this but our capacity for loss is so insane#anyway#time to stop grieving in advance#bye time to get off the train
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does anybody else remember the stream where csap found the death book. no? just me? ok
#link provided for those who may want to watch#his and dxd's interactions were so funny#I don't even think you're god. I think you do think i'm god. Ok i do think you're god#go away i have no more use for you thank you for the book i'll use it EXACTLY how i want to. thanks for telling me where dream is too!#did you just tell me to GO AWAY?#yeah. go! bye bye!#NO i dismiss MYSELF YOU don't dismiss me (random noises) YOU WANNA SEE ANNOYING? YOU WANNA SEE ANNOYING?#they're hysterical. csap was being so catty#probably because he was feeling awful and wanted to die. He did also plan a suicide pact that stream he did do that#he wanted the three of them to be dead together forever i'm gonna tear my skin off#i like to think he left a will (suicide note) for george when he woke up and then tried to take it back after dream died#only to find george (awake) (already read it) looking at him like this ⬭_⬭#i think about this stream a lot#dsmp#c!sapnap#dreamxd
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i just now realized (at 37 years stupid apparently) that my first boyfriends family absolutely knew what we were doing in the basement and i. am. mortified.
#personal#dont be fucking weird about this post#we were legal adults too which makes it worse i think#im gonna throw myself off a bridge now good bye forever
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