#about this genius that isn't even remotely close to being one

[anonymityisfunwriter]

"Slut!"

Pairing - Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader Summary - It was perfect. Lovelorn and nobody knows. Love thorns all over this rose. You almost forgot just how hard the fall back to reality is. But if they call you a slut, it might be worth it for once.

Steve Rogers Masterlist | Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

"She goes through guys like a train-"

You immediately change the channel. The next one isn't better. You don't know why you thought it would be.

"The Stark last name and the long list of ex-lovers, that's her claim to fame. I mean, let's be honest here, she's a slu-" The tabloid reporter is abruptly cut off as the screen before you goes dark.

You look up to find Steve with the remote in his hand. He glares at the screen like the reporter was still talking, "You shouldn't be watching that."

"I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be. It's despicable. They were - the things they're calling you-"

"A slut," you finish for him.

His eyes dart to you, that furrow between his eyebrows getting deeper and deeper with every word spoken, "It's not true. This isn't journalism, it's slander."

You weren't sure how this happened. Sure, it was only a matter of time before they found you out. This wasn't the first time. Not the second or the third either. If the press was to be believed, you were love sick. Love struck with a new man every week.

It wasn't the first time someone called you a slut. It certainly wouldn't be the last.

You stopped living your life in fear of what people would say a long time ago. Being this young was an art. And up until now, you thought you mastered it.

It was simple. You even had your rules. You followed them and no one got hurt - or at the very least, it minimized the damage.

They were going to stare at you. Strangers. Press. The flashing cameras. It came with being a Stark. If they're going to look, you gave them something to look at. You didn't so much as step out on the street with a single hair out of place. You were flawless. Always.

You were nineteen, and on the heels of a breakup with your second ever boyfriend, the first time someone spit that word at you - "slut!" It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. It almost made you laugh. You realized that they didn't really care about your love life or about the trail of broken hearts you were supposedly leaving behind. They wanted a spectacle. They wanted a show. If you're going to be drunk, might as well be drunk in love.

It was easier after that. You knew the truth. The people around you knew the truth. You let everyone else believe what they wanted. You did what you wanted. You lived your life without worrying about being called a slut. They were going to call you one anyway. And if they call you a slut, you might as well make it worth it.

You gave just enough to keep them satisfied. Never anything too real. Never too much. Just enough that they wouldn't dare peak behind closed doors. Just enough to be able to live your life.

There were was a cost, of course. No one took you seriously. You dealt with the vague humiliation of the rumors constantly swirling about your hips and thighs and whispered sighs.

And though you inherited the Stark genius, no one cared about what you thought, what you had to say.

In that, the reporter was right, your love life was far more interesting than your thoughts on quantum mechanics or the military industrial complex. That was what you were known for.

For the most part, you were okay with it. You were willing to pay it all.

That was until you fell in love with Steve Rogers. Suddenly, you weren't willing to give them crumbs. You weren't willing to expose a love that felt this delicate.

You sit on the couch, huddled in your sweatpants, pensively staring at the blank screen.

This time, it was different. This wasn't a show, not a spectacle. It was real, an exposed nerve that the world decided was fair game. You were fair game and it was open season.

Steve settles beside you, draping an arm around your midsection. He kisses your temple, "Tony thinks it's probably best that you lay low for a while."

"Yes, well, my brother is the expert on PR damage control."

It wasn't the same though. You both knew it. Tony had done far worse with far more women. Yet, he would never pay the price you were paying in this very moment.

Steve's arms tighten around you like he's shielding you from the storm, "It's not right. It's not fair that you're being forced to sequester yourself. You're being punished but what exactly was your crime?"

"I fell in love with Steve Rogers, that was my crime." You fell for the man everyone wanted, the man who was in the wrong place at the right time.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against the crown of your head.

"For what?"

"You warned me this would happen."

It was true. You told him exactly what would happen, but even you didn't anticipate exactly how bad things would get.

You'd been with Steve for just under a year. And up until a week ago, only a select few knew. You both agreed to keep it a secret from the public. You felt protective over the love you shared, it was more real than anything else you'd ever had. You wanted to keep it to yourself, out of the hands of people that would tear you both to shreds without a second thought.

Steve felt the same. Though he was more worried about the enemies he made over the years.

It made sense to protect the relationship, to protect yourselves until you were both ready. You wanted to protect him from what you knew was lurking around the corner. Steve was still so new to the 21st century. Dating in the public eye wasn't easy. Dating a Stark wasn't easy. For almost an entire year, you used every publicity trick in the book - and it worked.

But then, you heard it, the whispers, rumors bubbled about your newest future ex-lover.

You only agreed to going public because everyone told you it was time, because they promised that the timing couldn't have worked out better than this. It was better to do this on your own terms than have it leaked.

No one knew how bad it would get.

"Are you sure? There's no going back after this," you whisper, standing in the hallway of your apartment. You could practically hear the cameras flashing outside your apartment. You'd never been this nervous to leave your apartment before. You'd been through the plan a million times. You'd be exposed to the cameras for a matter of seconds. Happy was already waiting with the door to your SUV open, ready for you to jump in. You'd walk outside holding Steve's hand - a sort of silent announcement to the world. "It won't be easy."

"I don't care," Steve promises, kissing the palm of your hand. "I'm tired of hiding. I'm proud to call you mine."

You tenderly stroke his cheek, "And if it blows up in your pretty face?"

He smiles down at you, "You're worth it."

"We'll pay the price, I guess." But deep down, you know. You'll pay the price, he won't.

The cameras had never been that loud before. Even though your announcement went off without a hitch, even though your publicist couldn't have been more pleased, not even they could have predicted how bad things would get.

It seemed like the whole world was calling you that four letter word.

At first, it was mostly online. People were mean, you knew that. You were prepared for nasty comments. Steve's most staunch supporters thought he could do better. People rejoiced in the spectacle your love life turned into. You were a laughing stock all over again. All that you were prepared for. Then some rabid fans leaked your phone number.

You decided that it would be a good time to disconnect anyway.

But it didn't end there. Not even close.

The day after you were expected to make an appearance for a charity you founded. It was just a quick 2 minute speech. And though the event had been throughly vetted, you'd never forget the way your blood ran cold when mid-sentence someone screamed that four letter word over and over again until security dragged them out. You continued until your speech was done, but there was no hiding the way your hands trembled.

From what you heard, the video was still making its rounds online.

You were expected to make an appearance two days after that. An event honoring your father. An event you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into to make sure it was impeccable, an event worthy of honoring your father. The same event you were practically uninvited from.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's just me. I come in peace," Tony jokes.

"I'm glad," you sigh. "I was worried I was going to have to get another number."

Tony sighs into the phone, "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better."

"I'm afraid I don't come bearing good news."

"What now, Tony?"

"That event you had Friday night, the one for dad?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. You already knew were this was going. "What about it?"

"They want me to take over for you."

You bitterly scoff, "This week just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

"You say the word and I'll tell them to fuck off."

"No, don't do that. It's for dad."

"You planned this whole thing single-handedly. You deserve to be the one up there." You don't say a word. He's right, you both know it. It doesn't change the situation you've been put in. "You are still going, right? Come on, you have to go."

"They broke into my house, Tony."

"What? Are you okay?"

"Happy just told me," you explain, sparing Tony the most gory details. "The one in L.A. Apparently, it is now covered in spray paint. You wanna guess what they wrote?"

"Where was your security?" Tony demands.

"Here. Trying to keep people off my sidewalk."

"I'm so sorry."

"I just - I don't think it's a good idea. At least until I get more security."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad you've got Steve there. At least I know he'll keep you safe."

You almost smile. Tony was never his biggest fan, but you mostly credit that to him being an overprotective big brother. And the situation you'd found yourself in did nothing to win Tony's over good graces, "It's not his fault, Tony."

"It kinda is, but I digress. Listen, we'll figure this out, alright? I'll go streak in front of the Tower if that'll take some heat off of you."

And though you effectively doubled your security in the last two days, nothing would change anyone's mind about you. You were the villain tainting their hero.

You broke down after that call, violently sobbing against Steve's shoulder. He just pulled you in even tighter.

It reminds you of why you're doing all this. So you can be together, out in the open. That in a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

You squeeze his hand, "You're worth it."

"I'm not worth having your reputation torn to shreds."

And maybe they're right about you. Maybe you do get love struck. Maybe his eyes are like the world's strongest liquor, and it went straight to your head. Maybe you do get love sick. Sure, your life has momentarily fallen apart. It's magic, madness, heaven, and sin, all rolled into one. But if they're going to call you a slut, it might be worth it for once. "But what if all I need is you?"

Steve Rogers Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

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[itonashi]

I am ME.

SUMMARY : Known around the world — a genius scientist named [Name][Last Name]. Everyone sought to be her as she was deemed perfect. A young prodigy that managed to climb up the ranks alongside her friends. She met her demise at the age of 35. It shook the world. Tears fall because of her. Will there be another her?

PAIRING : aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader

WARNINGS : implied deaths, stalking, drugs, slow burn romance, murder, more will be added.

A/N : 2k words. goddamn.. hehe enjoy and pls remember im not an expert still in the adults world neither i am that smart LOL.

4 years later...

You're 6 years old right now. Well, physically. You do not have the patience to restrain myself from not talking all the time. Your babysitter is sleeping. You're infront of a tv. Remote beside you. Maybe, you should change it to a music show?

You're bored after all. No freedom so what else can you do? You change the channel to a music show. After you change it, The MC was announcing the winner for the music show.

"Let's congratulate, B-Komachi!" The MC exclaimed and the audiences roared at the mention of B-Komachi. The members went up the stage, taking the award.

"That girl... looks familiar." You muttered under your breath. A beautiful girl with a blue purplish hair color took the mic and start her speech while giving a heart gesture.

That's the girl you met before. She was interesting to say the least. Even from a first glance, you knew that she hailed from an abusive and solemn past. She was expressionless, she talked to you without any interest in the world and show the real her. To see her become an idol.. does that means she's lying to herself right now.

What drove her to be an idol? You met her only once and yet you feel like, she would be important later on. How captivating, you hope the future is kind to her.

"And that's all from me! Ai!" She waved and giving the mic to another member.

Idol. A career that isn't appreciate enough. Some people on the world looked down upon this career. Just singing and dancing, they said. It's more than that.

Idol need to have a perfect image. One wrong step, then scandal will come for them. Especially if you're a famous group. They have to lie. They have to please their fans. One mistake and it will be talk about for years even after disbanding. The entertainment industry is dangerous. Strict to the point they could take your life.

Idol is also human. They're not robot. They also have feelings. Idols are admirable, they need to have a strong mental to handle the hate. The world is unfair to them. There's so many cases on what happened to idols for the past years and some of it is cruel.

Every career have it's upside and downside. There's no need to compare.

You broke out of your thoughts when the front door opening. You didn't even realize your babysitter already went home. "[Name]." Your father called out to you. You stand up and walk towards him with a tiny smile on your face. Your father wasn't that bad now that you have observed him for 3 years.

He looks like he love your mother dearly. Before going to work, he would always give a kiss to the cheek on your mother. Your mother would blush a little. He carry you to his arm and bring you to his lap.

"I need you to make a decision, [Name]." He said with a stern tone. You tilt your head and nod. "Do you want the easy life or the hard life?" He added, starting into your eyes with a little smile.

You widen your eyes a little "I choose the hard life!" You give an eye closed smile to your father. You felt like being silly while saying that. You expect that if you choose the hard life, he would put you into the entertainment industry. This is the time for you to reveal how smart you are to your family. You aim to be the youngest people to be scouted into the world organization you were previously in. It is possible, in that organization there's no rules for age. You learn that when a child was born in that organization from a couple.

How's that child you see as a little sister figure doing? You hope she still love drawing and painting. Your plan starts now.

Your father sae the expression on your face and laugh "That's good, [Name]. In this world, there's no one living the easy life. Next week, you will follow me visit some director." Your father said with excitement. This is probably the second time you see him that excited — the first one being the time when you talk for 'first time'

He pat you on the head and left you alone on the couch. 'Did he do that just to left me on the couch?' You deadpan at your father but shrug it off. You lay on the couch and close your eyes, gathering the information you gotten for the 4 years you have been living in this new body.

One thing for sure, one of your friends had a baby at the same year you were born. You pray for the chances to meet the child. This time, there's no mistake. You want more connections than before.

"[Name], are you excited to see a child acting on the site?" Your father is driving the car to a filming site. He said the director is someone named Taishi Gotanda. You don't really remember the great things that Taishi guy have did since you weren't that keen on keeping up with the media world.

"Yeah! I'm excited! They're the same age as me, right?" You exclaimed. "No, you're the older one there." He said. Great, being the eldest means babysitting. Well, not if the children is discipline properly.

You arrive at the site and you scan around the site for a potential connection to be made with. Your father tap your back and you follow him behind his back. "Oh, Yoshino-san. Great to have you here." The Taishi guy shake your father's hand and he noticed you behind your father. You notice his eyes and smile while waving to him. 

'This is boring.' You thought while walking a little bit away from your father. "Yoshino-chan, please follow me." A staff called out to you. You faced them and nod. "Your father said that you would only see how the process goes. You don't need to do any acting." The staff stated while leading you to a waiting room. You only hum at her to show that you're still listening to her.

'What a quiet kid...' The staff thought. The staff left you as soon as you arrive at the waiting room. You saw three kids and overhear their conversation. "Bet her acting was so bad they had to cut it all out! She seems to be good at buttering people up, though!" The child with red hair uttered.

The red hair proceed to be kinda rude in your opinion to other people. She left not before noticing you though. She look at you up and down and left. 'Is this how kids are?' You sweat at the child behavior. You look inside the room and saw two kids who you assume is twin because of the similarities. The annoyed expression on their face is visible, probably because of that girl? She's Arima Kana , if you remember correctly.

The girl who can flick a crying switch. Well, whatever. You bow at the twin and introduce yourself. They notice you and bow as well. "Oh, I'm Hoshino Ruby! And he's my brother. Hoshino Aquamarine but call him Aqua." The girl claim. What a weird name for japanese people.. The first thing you noticed about the pair is their eyes. It was captivating enough to lure you in. I'm sure they would become a big part of the entertainment industry. A powerful duo, they would say.

"Nice to meet you.." Aqua greet you with a neutral face. An opposite personality of his sister. A smile crawled up your face. "Soo.. why are you guys here?" You questions their presence at the filming site. "I will be acting while my sister here well.. she's just here, I guess." The boy deadpan. "How rude!" Ruby exclaimed.

You nod and cross your arm "It seems like Ruby is the same as me. I will only be watching." You hope that a friendship will bloom between you guys.

Amazing. You lightly smirk at the acting Aqua did. He only act like himself but he was incredibly creepy with it as that was what's the director aiming for. Maybe, the main part of it was because he seems mature for his age and his eyes. You just can't seem to let go of the beauty. "How did you think about it, [Name]?" Your father ask you with interest towards the young boy. "It's amazing, father. Can I start acting too?" You replied while staring at Arima Kana who was crying.

"It's never to late for you to be like your mother." Your father stated while lightly smiling at you "I can get you a role. Make sure to past my expectations." He added. Looks like the expectations for results is starting.

After that, your father have been keeping contacts with the twin since he have taken an interest on the young boy. You occasionally met the twin and learn more about them one by one. Sadly, your father couldn't keep hold of the them — Director Taishi Gotanda did.

You appear on multiple drama show as a child actor and made a name for yourself. There have been talks that you would conquer Arima Kana the child actor prodigy. You don't intend to do that but if that's what happen, it will happen. But they have to stop the  comparison because every person have their own flaws.

You even got to do some photoshoot for a child's brand. Well, this will be memories in a few years. Atleast, you get to feel being a child again. A carefree child. Because of all the acting, you had to learn new skills everytime even things that you didn't learn in your past life. Naturally, you're good at it.

I guess you would still be a genius this time too.

When the death of Ai Hoshino happened, you attend the funeral with your parent. The people grieving over Ai's death make you recall the time your parent got into a bad accident and passed away because of that. You didn't cry because you had no connection to her but it still hurts to know that the stranger you have met before when they're a teenager to died when they almost turn into a full fledged adult.

You hope the people from Strawberry Production is taking their time to heal from the loss of a staff. You can only give prayers to them.

Later on, the death of Ai was just like a wind breeze that pass every day. No one talk about it after a week. Some may move on and some didn't. Ai Hoshino may you rest in peace.

A year of being in the entertainment industry — thanks to your father. You don't care if they call you a nepo baby. You're talented, that's all that matter. You were invited to a variety show and you were excited since you can freely show your talents there. No on can say a thing about it. No one will question it.

You met the cast and greet them. It was going well until they start talking about your acting career. "Yoshino-san, you really resemble your mother and your acting skill is incredible. Mind to share a tip?" The MC compliment your acting. "I can't because I am ME. I don't think much on what to do and just go with the flow." You said with a neutral tone. One thing about the entertainment industry, they won't question what the kids say since their still not mature for their age and just let out what's on their mind. Even if you have a sharp tongue, the people will love it. They don't mind it when a kid do it. At the very least, you have to have a character that will make people love you.

That would make people remember you for a long time.

"Yoshino-san, your father said before in an interview that you are a genius. Top at everything, is that true?" One of the cast commented. You smirk "Why don't you give me a question and let me answer it? I would prefer if it's a math question, though." With this, you will make moments for yourself. The cast laugh at your confidence and gave you a whiteboard. You will be competing with the 'smartest' cast, they said.

"69 x 4."

Ding!

A ring was made by you. The questions was too easy. As former scientist, you had to count percentage so this is a piece of cake for you. The cast beside you look at you bewildered. "276." You confidently said. "Correct!" The MC exclaimed. You know that they're looking down on you. You ought to prove them wrong.

After a series of questions, the people were speechless upon your smartness. The adults didn't expect this. Your mother look at you behind the swarm of staff and smile widely. You notice it and wave a little.

Soon, the filming ended. You were tired and hold out your arms to your mother. Your mom chuckle s and carry you up to her arms and kiss you on the cheeks. "You did good, my little angel." Your mother praises you. You snuggle up to her. Even though, you are an adult mentally but you want to indulge in this child body of your of receiving parent's love.

Even an adult wants to heal their inner child.

TAGLIST : @glitch-karma @kult-o @miyakoa @pandaswitch @serbian-x @nambii @bajifairyy @lumiriai

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itonashi © // don't plagiarize, copy or edit my works.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Idia & Rollo: A Tale of Two Brothers

HI I’M WRITING ANOTHER ANALYSIS BECAUSE I’M STILL GOING CRAZY OVER GLORIOUS MASQUERADE PART 5 🤡 *honks clown nose*

***Spoilers for chapter 6 of the main story and Glorious Masquerade!***

***CONTENT WARNING: extensive mentions of death and allusions to suicide and suicidal ideation.***

This analysis was inspired in part by this illustration; Idia and Rollo are both standing trial for their crimes. However, notice that while Rollo is frantically defending himself, Idia stands calm, almost accepting of his fate and awaiting judgment. Please keep this illustration in mind, as I believe it to be an apt visualization of both the similarities and the differences between the two.

On a surface level, there isn't that much that's the same about Idia and Rollo. They don't even "speak the same language", as Rollo expresses confusion at the slang Idia uses when referring to gargoyles as Malleus's "oshi". Idia is socially anxious, introverted, and nerdy, with hobbies and interests such as video games, idols, and manga/anime. He's intelligent, but he's also self-absorbed, often bragging about his own genius or making inventions just to make his own life easier (such as a tablet so he can attempt classes remotely). Idia also has a habit of insulting others for "not being on his level", or even talking them down or acting frightened when they exceed in areas he doesn't deem important, such as athletics. On the other hand, Rollo is far more astute and serious, setting high standards for himself and for others. Despite this, he does well with people at a superficial level and is well-liked by his peers. He is practical and sparing about how he uses his intelligence and magic, usually only limiting them to scenarios which they are necessary to utilize.

However, if there is one major, glaring similarity between Idia and Rollo, it is this: they both love and care for their younger brothers--and they both lost those beloved brothers in tragic accidents, which deeply affected their courses in life and their mindsets as they grew up. What's more, they both became emotionally closed off from others as a result. The difference here is how they coped with their losses and came out the other side.

Idia has been groomed from birth to be the perfect heir that will eventually succeed his father as director of S.T.Y.X. and the Shroud family itself, which oversees the Underworld. Because of this, he has usually been contained to his studies and scarcely saw the outside world. His younger brother, Ortho, who was not burdened by these responsibilities and loved playing with Idia, one day convinced his older brother to sneak out with him to play in the world above. When Idia disarms the security systems to aid in their escape, a Phantom escapes and tragically ends Ortho's life. This incident traumatized Idia to the point where he stayed in his room for roughly 2 years, barely asking anything of others but spare parts. During this time, he invented a robotic version of Ortho to act as his brother, aware that the A.I. would never be able to replace the original that was lost. When the events of episode 6 occur, Idia is able to finally acknowledge Robo!Ortho as his own person, and comes to terms with the original's passing. He decides that he must live on, and gradually opens up to his classmates once he has this revelation.

Rollo's younger brother unlocked his magic before Rollo did. (I will call the unnamed younger brother "Brollo" for the sake of simplicity.) From a brief flashback at the end of Glorious Masquerade, we know that Brollo truly loved magic and using it because it made Rollo happy when he did. Unfortunately, this magic (presumably a fire spell) got out of hand one day and ended up consuming Brollo. Since then, Rollo cursed magic, blaming other magicians for not intervening to rescue his sibling. Then, in a horrible twist of fate, Rollo discovered his own magic after Brollo's passing. Not only does Rollo turn out to also be a mage--one of the people he detests for not helping his brother--but his own unique magic, something that defines him as an individual, is driven by negative emotions and engulfs him in flames... More fire, just like the fire that took Brollo from him. Rollo not only experienced that trauma, but let that trauma fuel him and become an integral part of his identity. This would later convince him that magic is a "sin" that tempts people and decide that it would be better off if Twisted Wonderland were robbed of all of its magic. He cites his motivation for taking such an extreme stance as "saving" others. Even when he is defeated and apprehended by the NRC boys, Rollo holds fast to his beliefs and refuses to admit to any wrongdoing.

Notice where their paths diverged.

Idia was in a situation where he was more directly responsible for Ortho's death. If he hadn't meddled with the security, the Phantom would have never escaped and Ortho would not have been gravely injured. Because of this, Idia accepts the burden of responsibility and feels immensely guilty due to his involvement. This is a good deal of the reason why he shut himself away from the world following Ortho's death and why he has issues with socializing for so much of the main story; Idia feels ashamed for what he has done, so he turns to his own interests as a way to cope with it. Without Ortho there to encourage him to reach out to others and attempt at friendships, Idia falls victim to his own hopelessness. Why bother making friends? Why bother reaching out? His future has already been decided for him, and the one time he tried to avoid his fate, someone he loved was lost to him forever. It's pointless and futile to try, and he says as much in episode 6. All of the test subjects will have their memories of their time gaming wiped--so why be friendly with them and enjoy himself? It's all meaningless. Idia's guilt turned inward, and whether he realizes it or not, everything he does is an unconscious reflection of that guilt, right down to the defeatist attitude he adopts following the initial trauma.

Rollo is the opposite of Idia; his guilt turned outward, and he never came to accept it, so it ended up poisoning him and his perception of the world. This explains why Rollo took extreme actions against all of Twisted Wonderland, whereas Idia was contained (again, internalized guilt) and only Overblotted when tempted by the promise of reuniting with his dead brother.

To go into more detail with Rollo... Sebek mentions in Glorious Masquerade that he cannot understand his motives; if Rollo hates magicians and magic, and Rollo IS a magician, then does the logic not follow that Rollo, by proxy, must hate himself? Idia echoes this sentiment when confronting him, accusing Rollo of actually hating himself the most for being powerless to help Brollo. That's... most likely true, given the circumstances, but notice that it is Sebek and Idia that have to say this for the audience to understand, rather than Rollo monologuing about it. Why? Because Rollo is in denial about his internal conflict. Time and time again in the event we hear him talk about how OTHER people are disgusting, how OTHER people misuse their magic... and when he talks about his own magic, he refers to it as "a curse", "a burden". It's clear he views magic, including his own, as a very negative thing. Rollo's wording is especially telling when he has been beaten, weeping over the loss of his flowers, his salvation, even though he has been claiming all this time his actions were for the good of OTHER people, not himself.

Unlike Idia, Rollo was not the direct cause of Brollo's passing. However, Rollo must feel responsible in some part (whether consciously knowing or not), as it is implied Rollo indirectly encouraged his brother's use of magic (because seeing Brollo's magic made him happy). He must have also felt an immense guilt for not unlocking his magic sooner, for not being capable of stopping the magic from raging out of control. But Rollo, being powerless at the time, did not direct his anger at himself, but at the people around them. Blaming others is just an easier solution than accepting blame yourself, and that was the route Rollo went down. However, in refusing to acknowledge the part he played himself, it caused more hatred to fester. Rollo could never be happy, could never be satisfied, because everywhere he looked, he saw sin--but not within. Like Idia, he emotionally closes himself off from others, not speaking about his experiences to others and instead writing them down in journal entries... but Rollo takes it so, SO much further, spending years and years plotting his "salvation" to come into fruition. He tries to justify this to himself and to others as a means of saving them, but as Idia rightfully points out, that's just an excuse to vent, an excuse to save himself and to be liberated of the burden called magic. It sometimes slips out in the way Rollo speaks about his goals: how people will not have to suffer from painful memories “again” (ie Rollo won’t have to relive the past), how they will be freed from “dark and cold despair” (he’s speaking about it in such detail, like he is speaking from experience).

I actually don’t think what Idia said is completely true; yes, Rollo wants to save himself. However, if that were the case, why wouldn’t Rollo just have the crimson flowers relive himself of magic and no one else’s? It’s because Rollo honest-to-God believes the world would be better off without magic, even if that means he has to force his will upon others. He wants to not only save himself, but prevent anyone from ending up like Brollo. Again, I believe there is a part of him that subconsciously feels guilt for not being able to help his brother, so now Rollo is overcompensating/overcorrecting by ensuring that he “helps” everyone. His extreme wording plays into this; by using harsh terms like “villains” and constantly citing morality, it sounds as though he is trying to convince even himself that what he is doing is correct. He is someone that inherently values morality and justice, but his definitions have become twisted thanks to his grief and guilt. Rollo so reverently defends himself and his worldview because that is the only way he can rationalize tragedy and make sense of the trauma he has experienced.

Perhaps the saddest part of Rollo's story is that, unlike Idia, he doesn't change his mindset (or at least he doesn't want to). By the end of episode 6, Idia has started to come out of his shell to hang out with his classmates and play video games with them, and he has accepted Ortho as an individual. Rollo still believes he is in the right and refuses to talk to the people who offer to lend an ear (the gargoyles) to his woes. He still claims he will never see eye-to-eye with magicians and swears he will continue working against their interests. What’s important is that he is put in a situation where he is forced to face the inner demons that torment him, the guilt that he has yet to address in full, thanks to the NRC boys putting his self-righteousness on the spot. Rollo is being punished, but also given a chance, to be like Idia--to grow from the past, rather than let it continue to consume him.

It was so genius how they implemented Idia in Glorious Masquerade; it can be said that Malleus is Rollo’s foil (in that Malleus represents all the frivolous use of magic that Rollo detests), but in a way, Idia is also a foil to Rollo due to their similar backstories. I love that for the first half of the event, Idia was being his usual self, complaining about being away from his room and from Ortho, making jabs at his classmates, trying to minimize socialization, and occasionally geeking out. Even when the crimson flowers make themselves known, Idia is anything but enthusiastic to assist. He would rather run away from the issue, or just throw in the towel and Game Over than put up a fight. However, there is a dramatic shift in his behavior as soon as he, Malleus, and Azul find Rollo’s diary and learn of his motives from it.

Idia goes all quiet and becomes serious about stopping Rollo. Funnily enough, Azul initially interprets this behavior as hesitation, or Idia showing sympathy for their adversary. On the contrary, Idia knows more than ever that Rollo has to be stopped. Why is Idia suddenly so motivated when he wasn’t before (in spite of knowing the full weight of this threat)??? Because he realizes, whether he likes it or not, that Rollo is just like him. And while Idia may not care for Rollo, the fact is that Idia understands and empathizes with his experiences--but at the same time, he disapproves of the way Rollo is going about coping with it. As Idia puts it, Rollo has a right to be angry and to ruin his own life, but he has no right to drag other people down with his misery. Idia is drawing from his own experiences, how he holed up in his room and hid away from the world with his sorrow and rejected lucrative offers instead of causing trouble for others. Later on (in episode 6), Idia would be an inconvenience because of his Overblot, so he is speaking on those experiences as well. Idia has been on both sides of this, so he understands what Rollo is going through, AND what the worst possible outcome for it could be if he’s left unchecked.

Worse still is Idia knowing that Rollo has also lost a younger sibling--but instead of trying to move on from it, Rollo has fixated and is weaponizing his tragic past to justify his evil actions. As Idia demands of Rollo, is this really what Brollo would have wanted? Or is Rollo just lying and superimposing his own views over Brollo’s wishes, conflating them to make something that fits his narrow-minded and hateful view of the world? Idia is in a similar situation as Rollo, but he has never tried to use Ortho’s passing to excuse or to justify his actions. Even when he Overblotted, sure, Idia was rampaging, but his concern was always Ortho first and foremost. When he gets shot with lightning, Idia loses his cool over Ortho being hurt and rushes to check on the damage he has taken. At his lowest point, Idia still cares for his brother above all else, so it makes sense that he’s disgusted by Rollo essentially using his dead brother and his “wish” to justify doing awful things to innocent people.

This is why Idia says he cannot forgive Rollo: because Rollo is a dark mirror of himself--a version of Idia if his pain had been directed outward instead of inward. Someone who can’t let go of the past, and is ruled by it, spreading their suffering onto others instead of learning to live with themselves and their sins. He’s horrified that Rollo would use his brother’s passing to justify bringing a similar sadness upon do many others by robbing them of their magic. It’s such a perversion of grieving over a loved one, Idia cannot stand it. Both boys demonstrate to us unhealthy methods of coping with their circumstances (turning the guilt and hatred inward vs turning the guilt and hatred outward), but Idia was the one to learn and grow from his sorrows whereas Rollo continues to wallow in them.

It is Idia and Idia alone who understands everything Rollo is going through. All that pain and regret, wishing so desperately that life had been fairer to them and to their poor brothers... He even understands wanting to “destroy the whole world because it hurts knowing that [his brother] will never come back to him”. These are feelings Idia has had himself, but the difference between him and Rollo is that Idia can see those feelings for what they are: misguided, misplaced. He knows that even if life has been unfair, it doesn’t justify making others pay the price for it. He knows that making others suffer won’t get him a happy ending, and that it won’t bring Ortho back. He knows that doing all of this won’t make Rollo happy, it won’t really free him, because the past and the guilt associated with it will always remain no matter what changes in present day.

Rollo will only be free once he reaches acceptance in the cycle of grieving, if he lets go of what happened before and decides to live for himself without shame, like Idia has. Instead, Rollo has chosen to lash out at the world, using his brother’s passing as a fuel for his self-righteous fire. It’s the only way he can live with himself, because were he to accept his own guilt, his ego would break. The magic unique to him, Dark Fire, all of the inner turmoil he has held up to this point... that makes up who Rollo is. And if he doesn’t have that... then what’s the point of it all? He’s not ready to come to terms with that possibility, so he shunts it out for the easier solution, which is being rid of that magic altogether. In that mindless pursuit of his goals, he has lost sight of what he is truly after, his “salvation”: being at peace with Brollo’s death, and finding a reason to live on in his stead.

As Idia tells him, it’s alright to feel guilt, and there is nothing wrong with using the love we have for those who have passed as motivation to keep living. Idia was someone who was fully prepared to “join” Ortho in the afterlife (his choice of word, not mine), and Ortho had to convince him to stay. There’s too many games Idia hasn’t played yet, manga he hasn’t read, shows he hasn’t watched. There’s so much of life he has yet to experience, and he shouldn’t throw that away. Ortho tells Idia to return to his friends, to live--and with that, they said their final good-byes, and Idia is finally able to move on. Now he is passing along that knowledge, that plea to live, to Rollo, even if he detests Rollo’s character, his intentions, and the motivation behind it. For as much as Idia hates people, he would hate to see someone go down the dark path he had been destined for, had it not been for Ortho’s intervention, even more. I imagine it must be a weird feeling Idia is experiencing, some mix of disgust, displeasure, pity, and the feeling of “bro, I know where you’ve been and I know you can be better than this”.

Though Idia is definitely in the right in this situation, I want to call attention to the fact that Idia isn’t exactly intervening for purely selfless reasons; he was ready to fuck off and leave the City of Flowers to (metaphorically) burn and was putting forth no effort to save it until he caught that thread that connected him and Rollo. Even then, Idia’s not concerned with saving Rollo’s soul or whatever, he just wants to make it known Rollo is a bad person and should feel bad for what he has done because they are similar. If Rollo had had some other tragic backstory that didn’t involve a dead brother, I doubt Idia would have been reinvigorated to stop him as he was in canon. They have a kinship through their brothers whether they like it or not (and trust me, neither of them like it 😅), and that is ultimately what drives Idia to intervene.

Idia’s love for his brother not only allows him to connect with and empathize with others against his better judgment, but that love also supersedes Rollo’s hatred and guilt. He is able to reach that final stage of acceptance, while Rollo is still angry and bargaining for a way out.

Anyway, that was my very VERY long-winded way of saying I think Rollo should be forced to hang out with the Shroud brothers in fact, I’m working on a fic about this 🤡 because he could honestly stand to learn a lot from their character arcs…

[very-burnt-toast]

Some random unedited Klance stuff I wrote at like 2am last night

Lance finds himself standing before his mirror, eyes darting back and forth across his reflection as if scanning for something. With a sigh, he steps back and slumps down into his bed. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's perfectly normal. Unremarkable.

Nothing special.

Fitting, because that's all he is, isn't it? He's nothing special. Everyone else has something going for them. Shiro had been the leader who always figured out what to do and now he leads from the sidelines, Pidge is the tech genius who always has a comment to make. Hunk's the friendliest guy Lance has ever met and holds the team together, all the while making the best food ever. Allura and Coran know all about the lions and run the entire ship.

And Keith. Keith was the best at everything. He'd been the best cadet in the Garrison, he was hella good at fighting, thinking on the spot and being the team leader, looking pretty... And not the worst diplomat ever to exist. So basically all he needs to be a great paladin.

Lance couldn't help but envy Keith a little. Ever since his Garrison days Lance had always wanted to prove himself, to be worth something. But now here he is, deflated and sitting on his bed with no role to fill. And why would the team want him if he doesn't have a role to play?

But a much more devastating thought prickles in the back of Lance's mind. As much as he envies Keith and always made an effort to go out of his way to poke fun at him, he can't help but admire him. I mean, it's hard not to. The powerful yet graceful motions when he fights, the feeling in his voice when he gives commands to the team, his persistence when he wants sonething, and the amount he cares for his teammates.

It would take some kind of miracle to have that absolute prodigy even come remotely close to falling for a simple boy from Cuba with no redeeming qualities?

I mean, there's his immeasurable charm... But Keith could beat that one pretty easily. His mullet is nicer than Lance says it is on a regular basis. And his eyes. But no matter how much admiring Lance does, that's not gonna get him anywhere. It's not like he can say anything to Keith though.

Lance leans against the wall and lets his body deflate further. The more he thinks about Keith the more he can feel an ache growing in his chest. Collapsed against the wall, he lifts his hand to rub his eye and there's something wet on his face.

He was crying.

Right at that moment there's a knock on the door. Hurriedly, Lance wipes his eyes with his sleeve and inhales slowly and deeply before calling out, "Just come in."

The door opens to reveal none other than Keith himself. Keith's eyes widen to see Lance sprawled across his bed, leaning against the wall. "Are.. You okay over there, buddy?"

"Hey Keith, I'm... I don't know." Lance lifts his head and gives a weak smile. Keith walks over, sits down and glances at Lance with a look of concern.

"Lance, have you been crying?"

Lance blinks before turning his head away and taking another deep breath. As he exhales, Keith places a hand gently on his shoulder. "Look, I know I'm not necessarily the best one to talk to sometimes, but if you've got stuff on your mind you can always tell me."

Lance can feel the waterfalls that come rushing from his eyes as he pushes himself up and wraps his arms tightly around Keith, muffling his sob as he buries his face in Keith's shoulder. Keith is frozen for only a second before he returns the gesture. The two sit there like that in silence for a number of minutes before Lance eventually raises his head again and attempts to wipe his eyes on sleeves that are becoming more and more drenched by the second.

Noticing he left a large wet patch on Keith's shirt, he starts, "Keith, I- I'm so sorry I-"

"Hey, shh, it's okay, Lance," Keith reassures him, "what's on your mind, bud?"

Lance's head is flooded with thoughts; he wants to tell Keith just how he feels about him but the eminent doom of what would surely be a rejection stops him. He wants to confirm or deny his suspicions that he won't have a place in team Voltron anymore. Or maybe he just wants to know what Keith thinks of him. Lance's head spins but he opens his mouth to begin but somehow he blurts out everything all at once.

"I don't feel like I even have a place on the team anymore because everyone has something and I don't and I feel useless as if I'm just some normal guy while everyone else gets to be something special and I just want you to want me here and I know I make fun of you but I actually care more than I'd like to admit but I'm so jealous of you because you get to be something awesome that I could never be and I just want to be something and I..." he trails off into silence.

Keith slowly absorbs the information before once more glancing at the pile of limbs that is Lance before grabbing him by the shoulders and staring him straight in the eye, "You're not going anywhere. We aren't replacing you, Lance, and we aren't kicking you off the team."

His gaze softens and the muscles in his arms and hands relax a bit, "I'm not really sure how to put this next bit into words so you're just gonna have to trust me, okay?"

Lance pauses and cocks his head slightly, confused. Slowly he nods at Keith and says "I trust you."

And with that, Keith leans down and presses his lips to Lance's. Sliding one arm around his waist and one behind his head he kisses him smoothly but firmly. After a while he pulls away to reveal Lance, wide eyed and red faced, but now only the slight remnants of his tears remain glistening on his eyelashes.

Satisfied, Keith smirks through his words when he asks Lance, "does that give you your answer?"

Lance nods, causing Keith to smirk even more. Pushing himself up from the bed, Keith turns toward the door.

"Well then, if that's all you need from me I'll be in m-"

He's cut off by Lance who springs up and grabs Keith by the arm, spinning him around and kissing him again. This time it's Keith who's startled, but he quickly kisses Lance back. Lance's fingers run through Keith's long black hair and the other still holds him by the arm. The two pull away from each other and Lance, shooting Keith a challenging look, says "couldn't let you get away with winning that one, Kogane."

The slightest hint of pink dusts Keith's cheeks as he chuckles quietly to himself as he walks out of the room, leaving Lance standing in the middle of his room, now alone. But somehow, Lance didn't feel quite so separate anymore.

[jaelijn]

So... the Frogwares Holmes games really are something else. I should know this by now, but honestly the only thing coming remotely close to the type of Holmesian feels they give me is actively writing Holmes myself (which I haven't done in a while now). They are *invaluable* in generating that kind of headspace.

I've talked about the Frogwares Holmes games before - for my birthday I finally permitted myself to play The Awakened (2023) - and I've barely begun to process it.

It's a too short game - but considering that it was created by an Ukrainian studio in the middle of the war, that is as forgivable as the recycling of assets and the fact that it's not a brand new storyline (Though a part of me grieves for what the next game in the series might have been if there hadn't been the war - I just hope there will be more). It's a remake of an older game in the series with the same title, which I have played more than once and which really is the beginning of the Frogware games in many ways - there're two earlier games, but the original Awakened is where the series really hits its stride as a bona fide Holmes adaptation. So anyway - I knew what to expect, but also I really didn't.

The original Awakened is set after FINA, which adds its own horror. This one is set directly after the last game, Chapter One, and thus features a very young Holmes, basically directly after he meet Watson, and on some level it's the story of them really getting to know each other, and *foreshadows* FINA. But the plot doesn't even matter - or at any rate the plot isn't the reason why I love them, much as it isn't the reason why I love the canon.

I understand the canon purist scepticism, I really do, but I feel I've done the first step of getting over that when I played my first one (the original Awakened) and got over the hesitation at it being a Cthulhu crossover (and any of the other ideas that Frogware has used and made magical even though they are things that tend to make purists instinctively cringe), and the second step when I adored Chapter One and got over the fear of their new take on young Holmes.

In a lot of ways, the games chart the development of "point and click" type games in general and in a Holmesian sense, the adaptation development of Holmes interpretation - the first game was very classic deerstalker Holmes, moving over into Brett (and an older Holmes), and the later ones show definite influence of Downey and Cumberbatch, but at the same time I feel they are truer to canon than probably any of them with only maybe the exception of Brett (and not counting Merrison, which is practically exactly like canon, and not counting Elementary, which is so bogged down by the format of an American procedural).

They are by far the most psychologically complex games I know though perhaps I lack genre awareness, but either way I feel that started with Testament and Crimes & Punishment (which drove home the concept of morality in a way that I have never seen before). There is a true love for canon in every stroke (which I think is what some adaptations lack - a love for canon rather than an attempt at being *better*) and the sheer complexity of Holmes as a human being... I don't even know where to start. It seems to get better with every game, from the Holmes-as-suspect idea in Testament over the moral dilemmas in C&F, the question of legacy in "Devil's Daughter" and backstory in "Chapter One". I just feel that these games really *understand* him - the genius, the pursuit of justice, the kindness that goes beyond societal convention.

And Watson. I missed him in Chapter One, though I know why he isn't there and it makes sense that he isn't there and he never really had big roles in the previous games either, but Awakened (2023) makes up for it. What a compelling characterisation. Watson has his own complexity, some of which Watson's narration buries because Watson himself downplays his strengths and intelligence to elevate Holmes's. But once you strip out Watson's narration, you have to make a choice. Historically, we have a horribly bumbly Watson that we can perhaps unanimously agree to disagree with. Brett's Watsons are both fairly homely, but don't get much of a chance to shine on their own. Law's portrayal of Watson got *so close* but I always felt the relationship wasn't quite right, Watson wasn't quite right in his attitude towards Holmes. Freeman could have been it - if Sherlock hadn't unravelled the way it did. But this is a Watson that has his own growth and that I truly see as an equal partner to Holmes - as the person who is that sounding board and the one person Holmes would want to have with him when things get hairy - the person Holmes can rely on not abandoning him. If nothing else, Awakened (2023) cements that *trust* and I can't wait to see where it goes.

This is turning into a ramble that really boils down to: I love these games and the way they make me experience Holmes. The voice acting is *outstanding*, too - I liked the voice acting in the earlier ones, too, but the current Holmes really sells the material and I have not a bad word to say about Watson.

[toaarcan]

I mentioned in my Bold New Moebius post the other day that Miles is one of my favourite Archie Sonic characters, so I thought I'd elaborate a bit more on that.

Bear in mind that the more I talk here, the more likely I am to go into pure "I made it the fuck up" territory, because he was a very underutilised character in canon, and that means I'm going to be doing some heavy interpreting and stretching. This is how he appears to me, after all.

The obvious first point (one I even made in the previous post) is that he's a Starscream-type, and that's one of my favourite villainous archetypes. Some little shit of a bad guy who sits there going "I could do better" and often has kind of a point, because the main villains they're working for tend to be a bit... dim.

Miles usually working for Scourge is a prime example of this. He's a genius, and Scourge is... not. Remotely. They work in very different ways, Scourge being loud and explosive and prone to self-sabotage, while Miles is more sneaky and subtle.

But what gives Miles so much potential is actually something unexpected: His fear.

Miles is often regarded as a coward, and I used to hate this. After all, being afraid of Super Scourge is a fairly reasonable stance to take. At the same time, framing Miles as someone who talks a big game but is kind of a wimp when cornered does fit as an inversion of Tails' lacking confidence and braver centre.

But the main reason I think this is actually a fairly good trait for a villain is that it compounds with his intellect.

If Miles is a genius who really, really doesn't want to get punched in his smug face, then he should be very cautious in his schemes. He has the intelligence to make his plans in such a way that he's always safe. His plans have contingencies. His contingencies have contingencies. Even if you thwart and foil the first six layers, maybe the seventh will catch you out. Even if you stop him from achieving his objective, he's already escaped.

Miles isn't a villain who can show up every few weeks with another crazy scheme and get foiled. He's the sort of villain that only shows up rarely, but when he does, strap the fuck in, because even getting close to stopping him is going to be a challenge.

And despite the Sonic series' propensity for genius antagonists, none of them have ever really tried the "Master planner" angle. The most genius plan we've seen from other villains in Archie is Mogul going "I'm immortal and you're not, so I'm just gonna wait until you 80 and then win."

Finitevus is a genius, but while his plans are good, they're not hugely intricate. He tends to resolve his problems by way of overwhelming force, and his ultimate goal is worldwide genocide by way of burning the entire planet to the ground.

Eggman... look, as much as I dislike Ian Flynn's version of Eggman, whom I find an incredibly confused character, I do think he's got a good point about Eggman being a fuckup. The SEGA game version of Eggman is the guy who responded to one Gizoid going into murder-mode and nearly killing him by immediately building another one, which then proceeded to go into murder-mode and nearly kill him. He constantly unleashes other threats that he cannot control (Chaos, Shadow, Emerl, Gemerl, Dark Gaia, Zavok) and then acts surprised when it blows up in his face.

The guy is a scientific and mechanical genius with the foresight and planning skill of a cranefly. It's weirder when his plans don't backfire on him.

And that means there's a niche! There's a type of villain that Miles can fill, a character who uses his intelligence not for the creation of doomsday weapons, but to concoct a plan that will take every last scrap of Sonic and co.'s determination to overcome. Additionally, Miles has another trait that works in his favour: Who he's a counterpart to. After all, in Archie, Tails has a grand destiny and unmatched power that is simply... never used. For anything. Gallagher introduced the idea, and Penders waffled on about it and dragged it out and changed his mind about what it was meant to be, and then Flynn ended it in a really weaksauce way.

So basically, Tails had a big role to play, and ended up fulfilling his destiny about three times, and with the final one it was mostly done for him, by a machine, that he was being used to power, but he was mostly unconscious, and he had help from Shadow. And then Flynn said he lost all of his powers except flight off-screen, but it was never shown and that's intensely lame so I ignore that part and so should you.

But... Miles is an evil counterpart to Tails, and the antiverse appears to have just as many Emeralds (or Beryls) as the Prime one has. There's no reason Miles can't also be a Chosen One. In fact, it stands to reason that he is one. And while Tails briefly had all the power of all the Chaos Emeralds in the universe, and gave it up... what would a villain do with that kind of power? Certainly nothing good.

On Moebius, the Great Harmony is a doomsday prophecy, and Miles is at its centre. And that feeds into another one of my favourite villain tropes, "The Chosen One exists and it is explicitly a bad thing."

And we'll round this out with another villain trope example, because Miles is an absolutely amazing candidate for the Villainous Breakdown.

I love it when a bad guy reaches the end of their rope and just fucking loses it. Maybe they start begging for the mercy they never showed others, maybe they lose control and just start viciously attacking everything in sight, determined to take the hero down with them. Whatever form it takes, it can be immensely satisfying.

And Miles, a genius schemer who really, really does not want to get the crap kicked out of him, would play out this trope beautifully.

Now if only they'd actually done something with him in Archie. Or maybe it's a blessing in disguise that they didn't, given the standards most Archie villains were at by the end-stages of the preboot.

[krikeymate]

That open ending gave me all I needed to go on a tangent about the possibility of Sam being alive still 😂😂 you are a genius (and quite possibly the love of my life with you giving me all of the AU's and headcanons I could possibly want haha)

Onto my little thought process while reading this haha: Tara having moments where she isn't in control and doesn't recall anything that's happened between before and now?!

In those moments, Amber being somewhat of her only anchor despite her being a big part of the reason that she has been steadily spiralling. Amber being almost proud of Tara's actions because she's listened to her and gave in?! Amber seemingly being the root of Tara's descent is just perfection. 'Maybe she should give in' is such a small line but can have so many different meanings! Give in to the darkness that has overcome her when she zones out? Give in to Amber completely once and for all? (Something she could never do before because Sam was still there to stop that even when she wasn't physically present during those 5 years), perhaps something much more sinister and final?

Tara doesn't have Sam anymore, the only other person who could ever love her and protect her even remotely close to her is Amber. She was there when Sam wasn't, she put her pieces back together when Tara couldn't even begin trying so of course Tara sees her so vividly now when she's so alone.

That little 'it can't be real' being so heartbreaking because even though she fully believes that Sam is gone (a part of her still hopes that she'll come back to her because she promised to hold her hand the whole time so of course Sam would keep her promise to her, she has to!), she can't really accept her still being alive because look at what she's done, look at what shes became. What will Sam think? Would she hate her for doing something Sam has tried so hard to avoid? (Just my little thought process on that, might not be what you intended but that was all I could think about when I read that line haha)

Sam seeing at the end almost a reflection of herself when Tara is having a conversation with someone that only she can see. Aside from the initial 'Oh baby girl, what have you done', Sam not acknowledging what Tara has physically done because she's so occupied with Tara's mental state and her not being present. I. AM. BROKEN.

🥰

Post. I love love LOVE hearing your thought process!!! Knowing that I've written something that someone has connected with and it's made their brain go haywire with thoughts and ideas, it's just one of the greatest compliments a person can get.

The just give in can mean so many things, and in a way, it means it all. Tara doesn't know what it means to give in, but she knows she doesn't have to worry about that if she does. Your it can't be real thoughts are spot on my friend!! You're basically in my head.

Sam doesn't care about what Tara's done (Sam's done so much worse, would do so much worse), but she cares that her sister is hurting, that she's in pain, that she will care once she comes back to herself and realises what she's done. It's unconditional love baby.

[juniperhillpatient]

The Guru Re-watch

I enjoyed this episode a lot more than the last one for 2 key reasons

DANGEROUS LADIES

I've calmed down a tiny little bit from how mad I am about Jet, I just have to move on (but I never truly will)

Let's talk about Zuzu first. I don't have much to say about him in this episode (for once) other than that I agree with @theowritesfiction that Positive! Zuko is unsettling. Reminds me of the brainwashed Joo Dees. I don't like this Zuko.

Oh wait, let me make everything about Azula like I always do real quick - this version of Zuko isn't the real Zuko just like Canadian! Azula wouldn't be the "real" (or at least not the healthiest fullest version) of Azula (& nice teashop Zuko & Canadian over apologetic Azula are very comparable in my opinion.)

Anyway.

I loved Sokka & Hakoda's soft interactions in this episode.

[id: Hakoda & Sokka hugging. Sokka is smiling]

I really love the moment when Hakoda says "Sokka, you don't have to prove anything to me. I'm already proud of you and I've always known you're a great warrior."

Also, we've got Aang & his Guru journey learning about chakras. I've always found all the chakra talk a bit confusing but fascinating, so here's a piece of the transcript partially for my own context.

Aang: So chakras are pools of spiraling energy in our bodies?

Pathik: Exactly. If nothing else were around, this creek would flow pure and clear. However, life is messy, and things tend to fall in the creek. And then what happens?

Aang The creek can't flow?

Pathik Yes. But, if we open the ponds between the pools ... [He removes moss blocking the exit for the water.]

Aang: The energy flows! [The water that was blocked by the moss becomes clear. Aang and Pathik smile at each other.]

Next, we learn about the four chakras & watch Aang open them through visions & meditation (& onion & banana juice.) Aang struggles to overcome his shame for burning Katara, his guilt over leaving the world behind, & his fear of facing Ozai. The visions are an interesting exploration of Aang's internal struggles & we do see a lot of growth from how he was at the start of the series - largely in denial about anything he might need to overcome & reluctant to acknowledge or embrace his responsibility. Aang has grown immensely as a character & this is a good episode for him....Until we get to the part where I have some Controversial Tm opinions.

Pathik: The Thought Chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachment.

Aang: What? Why would I let go of Katara? I love her!

Pathik: Learn to let her go, or you cannot let the pure cosmic energy flow in from the universe.

Much like "The Fortuneteller" this is a strong setup for Aang to overcome his unreciprocated feelings for Katara and the show takes it in another direction. I would have really liked to see this show subvert expectations & show Aang overcoming his feelings for Katara. That's just how I feel. It's a disappointment to me that he just leaves when he's so close to unlocking all the chakras.

Anyway, Katara!!! She is so cute in this episode. I mean, always, but like - she takes Momo to tea! She asks for a table for 2! She jokes during a war meeting that they could send Momo to do some damage because he's knocking over the models! I just adore her.

Katara also recognizes Azula from looking into her eyes & I'm not kidding - we get a Zoom in of Azula's eyes sparkling, then a close-up of Katara's shocked expression of recognition. Before anyone forgets that this is an Azutara blog, I'm collecting those breadcrumbs where I can!

Also, this episode is great because we get to see Azula's genius & devious plans unfolding & we get to see the Dangerous Ladies being an iconic trio. +1000 iconic behavior points each for the Dangerous Ladies. (also I am not even remotely keeping track of these points anymore I'll have to count them up at the end so it'll be interesting to see who wins lol!) We even get some domestic Dangerous Ladies content with them talking & cleaning their Kyoshi Warrior makeup.

[id: Mai with makeup smeared around her eyes halfway through cleaning her Kyoshi Warrior makeup]

I just love Azula, Mai & Ty Lee so much.

That is all I have for this episode!

[calleo-bricriu]

what's the de sade ripoff book like anyway?

It’s like listening to someone who thinks they’re a genius but who’s really sort of–slightly below average at everything ramble on and on and on for over 400 pages about how they’re a genius and everyone around them is making their life horrible because they don’t understand how much of a genius he is.

Also, alcohol isn’t a stimulant at all, let alone a strong one. I guess, to be entirely fair, if I found out my Mum had a sex dungeon in the house I’d probably need a drink as well.

A lot of drinks.

And an Obliviator.

Finding out your mum has a sex dungeon is a pretty reasonable excuse to drink a lot.

Anyway, this author is allegedly a doctor, he ought to know damn well alcohol isn’t a stimulant.

I really do just love how it’s the same exact story, only with worse writing and set in Dresden–then Hamburg–then…New York City.

Some guy named Newcomber completely flips out any time someone says a woman’s name around him in his own house. It’s never explained why. I feel like that should have been an important plot point? Maybe he’s assuming everyone’s already read the book he blatantly lifted from.

Men just need to not be allowed to describe women in their books if they’re going to do it like this: “Seated in a large leathern chair was a dainty piece of pink-cheeked, dark-haired, ebon-eyed femininity. Her sealskin jacket fitted snugly her lithe form, and a fascinating toque rounded off the saucy, childlike appearance of the young woman.”

That’s the sort of description that makes you feel like you need to run a Scourgify through your entire brain.

I’ve read, as I mentioned yesterday, de Sade; all of his uncensored garbage and the difference is, de Sade knew he was a shite writer.

He was just one of those obnoxious people that feels the need to be edgy for shock value; to get a reaction. He wasn’t ever trying to be good at it, he just wanted to get a reaction and have people pay attention to him, which he got–usually in the form of prison.But, the end result of that is that his writing aged in a way that makes it so completely off the wall ridiculous that it’s more funny and less shocking now.

Like–right, if you’ve never read 120 Days of Sodom you should, because all it is is this list of increasingly improbable to impossible scenarios, in actual list form, that are discussed by the characters like they’re going over a list of chores they need to do that afternoon.

One involved mice and cannons, actual cannons, that somehow didn’t result in death or injury to anyone (including the mice), another had to do with somehow arranging it so a woman would give birth to a goat, which would then become a sex slave–the goat, not the woman, I think he forgot there was a woman involved in that one by the time he got to the impossible goat baby–and when you read something like that, you know damn well the person writing it was writing what they were writing as bait to see how mad people would get about it.

This idiot, however, didn’t appear to get the joke and is taking his own…version of Justine very, very seriously which leaves you more with a really creeped out feeling than a, “HA! I can’t believe anyone fell for this, it’s so obviously written as over the top with intent to offend people too stupid to get the joke,” sort of thing.

So, moving on from the creepy description of childlike femininity–and who says woman like that anyway?

Ms. Femininity gets up and gives the, “Never Say A Woman’s Name In My House For Any Reason Ever” Newcomber a kiss and he just sort of shrugs it off, which makes her concerned but since he never bothered detailing whatever backstory these two have I guess I’m just supposed to make one up. Guessing that, because it was described as “armorous” they’re lovers but, it might have had more of an impact if he’d–mentioned that previously at some point?

This is only page sixteen, as an aside.

She was gossiping with his mom and mom let slip that he was leaving Dresden and she’s upset but again, no backstory given between these two so we don’t even know how or why she knows his mother. All we know about that relationship is that his mom grosses him out probably because of the sex dungeon thing, which is a fair reason to not want to visit your mother’s house.

So he’s pretty meh about the kiss hello, she loses her mind about it and says he’s being cruel then flings herself onto the sofa for a good cry about which he doesn’t even care.

His name is Leigh, apparently, which is a perfectly common German name, as is Newcomber..

And she’s–Tahitian (but upper class, he’s emphasised that, can’t have him screwing around with a commoner from Tahiti, obviously) and grew up in…Honolulu and got married to a US Navy officer two years before she met the guy in Dresden that she just kissed and is now crying over while the author scrambles for a backstory.

Great, got married at sixteen, is now referred to as a “child-wife” and somehow his deployment from Honolulu landed her in…Dresden.

He should have known not to leave her alone in Dresden because, since she’s Tahitian, that means she’s just going to start cheating on him the second his back is turned (which appears to be what’s happening here).

An entire page later, we find out her name is Obera, and the guy whose mom has a sex dungeon who straight up ignores her is apparently the love of her life despite the fact that all we’ve seen so far is that he’s straight up not the least bit interested in her.

That finally ended and we’re back to her crying on the sofa and he tells her to knock it off because it makes him feel mean–when he was just mean to her not even two full pages ago. Leigh’s got a terrible memory, I guess.

“Finely-molded limbs”. Stop it.

A few paragraphs of Obera going on about how Leigh’s sister, Mizpra, is a complete and utter bitch and Leigh agreeing with her that Mizpra is, in fact, a complete and utter bitch. I might be too if my name were Mizpra.

At this point, in the middle of Obera trying to explain some theological lecture she attended, the author butts in to tell us that the lectures are FACTS then references some article in Popular Science Monthly from May 1989 called, “Witchcraft in Bavaria” right after Leigh starts talking about how Dresden has lousy weather and they’re going to the Rhine because the climate is that much different–five hours barely South and mostly West of Dresden, though it might be closer depending on where along the Rhine they’re going; its a river, and it’s not exactly a short one.

It also apparently has a climate similar to Honolulu which tells me he’s never been to either place but, it’s fiction, so why the hell not?

I’m only on page 22 now, as an aside.

Suffer with me, this is awful.

So he’s already planned this whole thing, someone named Frau Leidmann will lie to everyone and tell them that Obera is traveling with some old woman, he’s sending a telegram from…New York asking her to meet some made up person in Hamburg which, incidentally, is five hours North of Dresden and if you’re trying to aim for a warmer, closer to Honolulu climate here, you don’t want to be going North but okay, fine, we’re going to Hamburg.

Author really ought to have consulted a map before writing this.

“Was it right that he should take her with him and wreck her life?” Um–if you have to ask…

Wonderful, well, at least by now she’s 18 because she got married two years previously at 16.

By page 23 he’s essentially admitted he doesn’t like her much at all but she’s hot and young so he’s going with that. Not creepy at all.

“He would throw her aside as he would any other obstacle. Was this love?” …no. We established that two paragraphs ago when his thought was straight up that he didn’t love her.

Can’t take her back to the US with him but–he’s–that part was never mentioned at any point, as far as we’ve known until page 24 is that the guy lives in Dresden, his sister is a bitch, and his mom has a sex dungeon.

Nothing dignified about his appearance, likes his laboratory, doesn’t have a real job, nobody understands him, I’m starting to think it’s less that his sister is a bitch and more that he’s just kind of a whiny creep.

So, that’s the end of chapter 1.

Chapter two starts with him explaining why he named one of his dogs Bridget and why he’s mad that Obera could not possibly care less. I couldn’t possibly care less either but he explains it anyway in the weirdest possible way, “They do not associate the name with the beautiful, refined, and historically interesting woman who gave it such prominence. How can you associate a noisy, china-breaking, red-headed, befuzzled, opinionated ruler of the kitchen with Bridget the Goddess of Poetry, the Gaelic Muse, the sentimental, impulsive Sappho of ancient Ireland?”

Man, don’t talk about your dog that way, just don’t. I don’t like where you’re going with it.

Dagda gets a much shorter, “he was the all-king, almost the Zeus of ancient Ireland.”

Ah, and Obera is, of course, a princess. A Tahitian princess.

From Honolulu.

Which is famously in Tahiti and not a six hour flight–a thing that didn’t exactly exist in 1901 so I’m assuming it would have taken a hell of a lot longer by boat–North on an entirely different set of islands.

Okay.

You know, at least de Sade knew where physical locations of places were.

Do you know how bad something as to be that, not even 35 full pages in, you can not only recognise it as a direct derivative work of the Marquis de Sade but also have it be abundantly clear that it’s, like, a version of it so poorly done that the only reason you’re still reading it is because you kind of now want to see just how much more idiotic the story can get?

That’s what this book is like.

“He arose and went to her, took her on his lap, and talked to her as though she were a child.” No. No, stop that right now.

Four pages of him explaining that the reason why he ordered, ordered, her to read a childrens book was to prove to her how all folk tales are all the same and nothing is original and something about random Greek philosophers, then Why Catholics Are Right.

I might have been as bored reading that as Obera probably was having to listen to it.

HA! SHE FELL ASLEEP WHILE HE WAS TALKING!

She has a nap, wakes up later, and has somehow…uh…received a letter from that guy she married in Honolulu basically saying, “We both made a mistake. Divorce time.” and is somehow upset by this despite it being established in the last chapter that she wasn’t super interested in him anyway as the first thing she did when he ended up deployed was start fucking this idiot of a pseudo-intellectual.

…and this is somehow Mizpra’s fault, so I’m assuming she tattled, then he straight up jumps from, “Yeah I don’t love her, she’s just hot I guess” to “I LOVE YOU LET’S GET MARRIED DEFINITELY NOT TO SPITE MY SISTER!”

That’s not sarcasm. That’s exactly what it was. Right after he does the, “I love you! I’ll marry you!” (twice in a row at that, nobody talks like that) he moves right onto “the bitch can’t laugh at you getting busted cheating if we get married” which is not entirely sound logic but that’s where we’re going.

Robert Mesney hopefully got out of this stupid plot by realising what was going on and filing for divorce.

Actually, he doesn’t even ask her  to marry him he tells her that he’s going to marry her and doesn’t give her the option to object which I guess is just fine because at some point during his rant about his sister being a tattling bitch Obera fainted and he just…didn’t notice until he let her go and she fell over because of the being unconscious thing. Even then he didn’t really care, he just sort of went, “Oh.” and dropped her back on the bed.

Now she’s talking about his “aged countenance” which might be a little more fair if it hadn’t been mentioned that he’s 25. It’s not exactly old enough to count as “aged countenance”.

Apparently he’s also an alcoholic, which they keep referring to as dipsomania. Good idea, marry the 25 year old alcoholic who the plot has established doesn’t even love you (nor has he shown it at any point in their interactions apart from shouting it at her after finding out his sister told her soon-to-be-ex-husband that Obera was cheating on him), that’ll go well for everyone involved. I don’t see what could possibly go wrong here.

The servant at this place in Hamburg has been going on for five and a half pages about how Leigh is a drunk and how it’s his mother’s fault or something then just rambling on about his own family tree for no actual reason and how he’s somehow related to Leigh but also is looking forward to the time when the last Newcomber dies.

That’s chapter 2.

Chapter 3 starts with the fact that Leigh said he’d be back by lunch and it’s been three days and he’s still not back; I guess, to be fair, he didn’t say by lunch on which day.

He’s just out binge drinking in Hamburg.

Shows up four days later at four in the morning and immediately starts drinking again and none of this is a red flag for her.

Now they’re–he’s going to Paris, she’s going back to…the US from Havre, and he’s somehow decided it’s a better idea for him to not also go to the US via Havre but to instead go to Liverpool and leave from there. Okay.

This is only page 44 out of 408.

Mizpra wants to control their mother to snag most of her estate out from under Leigh, it appears as though she’s just his stepsister anyway, Mrs. Kassel is apparently a nice lady because the author hammers that point away for a good two solid pages and she’s going to New York with Obera because she apparently owns a house on Fifth Avenue.

All right.

She just randomly tells Obera that crooked noses and mental illness (sorry, “bad psychic quality”) runs in the family. Still no red flags for Obera.

Skips right to the wedding which has…no detail at all. Literally the only mention it gets after all of that build up is, “The wedding took place at Mrs. Kassel’s, who attended to every detail,” then moves right on to Leigh getting a flat in uptown and a job at a hospital and to mention that his mother’s letters were “curt, unresponsive, and insulting” for which he blames Mizpra.

Couldn’t be the fact that he ran off to the US with a still married 18 year old without telling anyone, why would that bother someone’s mother?

He either gets fired or quits at the hospital, it was never mentioned either way, and has irregular work so now they’re behind on bills and Obera’s “condition” requires quiet and rest and…Mrs. Kassel to take her on a vacation I guess. Time skip from spring to autumn and, to nobody’s surprise, Obera comes back with a baby and her idiot of a husband is still unemployed and also didn’t seem to notice or care that she was gone (because that’s never mentioned) for almost a year.

By this point, Leigh straight up hates his mom and Mizpra is a “moral criminal” but it’s not explained how, just that she is.

Mom, Mizpra, and a whole bunch of their maids suddenly turn up at an uptown hotel and he just–takes off to go and see them despite having spent the last few pages going on about how he can’t stand either of them.

Sister’s got masculine handwriting which is somehow important to know.

Oh, let’s see, what else are we learning about Mizpra: Large jaws, muscled neck, small hips, uncomely waist, large hands, bold frame, coarse features, a “masculine larynx” and she–author keeps refering to Mizpra as she so that’s what I’m going with here–tells him to fuck off and that she’ll call the police if he tries to see mother.

So, instead of trying to reason with her (also why did they come over from Desden if they didn’t want to see him?) he just tells her she looks like a man.

“Mother doesn’t want to see you.”

“YEAH, WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN! CHECKMATE! I AM SUCH AN INTELLECTUAL!”

Great display of the long winded nonsense the author gave everyone about what an intelligent intellectual this idiot is; best he can come up with is to tell his sister she looks like a man.

He still doesn’t have a job.

It’s been almost an entire year, how have they not been evicted from that flat yet?

Oh, but he has money to go out and get trashed again, though.

And he’s rambling to the bartender about people staring at “crippled children” for some fucking reason while the bartender pretty much pretends to listen.

He drinks because he’s a genius. That’s it. That’s the reason. He’s a genius and nobody gets him so he drinks.

58 pages in and I can kind of see why this guy’s sister doesn’t particularly care for him. I don’t particularly care for him either and, so far, am kind of on Mizpra’s side on this one.

Random name dropping list of famous people who had epilepsy or who were alcoholics or drug addicts. For an entire five pages. Nothing else, just a list, until he gets to Edgar Allan Poe who apparently had a psychic incubus problem instead.

One long paragraph held together by semicolons that says nothing at all.

Five pages about how his drinking problem is literally just like lycanthropy only, instead of turning into a wolf, he just goes to a pub and does so more often than once every full moon.

Same thing though. Exactly like lycanthropy which we all know is caused by thinking you’re a genius then being mad that nobody else agrees with that self-assessment.

More internal dialogue about how everybody is an idiot except him, because he’s a genius that nobody understands.

Somehow.

A few more pages of comparing himself to Nero which is not strictly the best comparison someone could make unless he’s planning to burn New York City down.

Couple of pages of internal dialogue about how he shouldn’t have to get a job because he’s a genius and people should just pay him to grace them with his presence.

End of Chapter 4 and I can’t keep reading this anymore today. This might be the worst thing I’ve ever read and not at all for the reasons the author was intending; it’s not shocking unless you’re shocked by how badly it’s written.

It’s so bad it’s almost exhausting.

[dourpeep]

IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:

- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you

- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.

- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!

Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.

WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.

What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.

Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.

YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you

And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!

Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!

The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.

I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe

That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod

OKIE DOKIE

-

"...Mona, yes?"

"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."

Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.

Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.

The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-

disappeared.

It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...

In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.

Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.

-

Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.

-

AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-

Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!

Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.

But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.

All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.

Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.

So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.

"Do you like this one?"

Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.

His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.

Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.

-

If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.

Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.

You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.

Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.

It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.

-

Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.

Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.

Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.

'You carry the aura of the stars.'

The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.

It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.

But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.

'You look. I fail to speak.

Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.

I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'

Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.

The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.

-

AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE

Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.

Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.

Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.

The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.

"What should we watch?"

Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.

Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.

Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.

So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.

Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--

Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.

She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.

Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...

You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.

Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.

Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.

You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.

Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.

-

YES ALSO ALSO

Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.

Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.

The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.

The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-

Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-

Ehe

Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.

Brain go brrrrrr

I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes

Okay that's all-

[jediken0bi]

At The End Of The Day

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

Reid is scared his Job is eventually going to take away the thing he loves the most. You.

word count: 2023

-

Spencer sat on the counter in the kitchen, sipping on his sugary coffee and watching you move around the room. You decided you wanted homemade Waffles this morning and Spencer made the quick decision to not even attempt to lend a helping hand. He usually ends up burning half of the food anyway so you're not complaining.

And if you're being honest you liked being able to do something nice for him while he relaxes. It's not like that's something you get to see all that often.

You really only get to have Spencer to yourself on the Weekends and even then your time together isn't always guaranteed.

That's something you guys struggled with a lot. He even more so than you now that you think about it. He is so quick to beat himself up over not being able to spend more time with you and it breaks your heart.

Of course you would like to see your boyfriend more often but you know how much he loves his Job and you would never ask him to quit or hold his crazy schedule against him.

After all, it's not Spencers fault serial killers don't take the weekends off.

You throw little glances at Spencer every time you add a little bit of batter into the Waffle Maker and each time you find him already looking at you with loving eyes and a silly smile plastered on his face.

You can't help but giggle a bit before shaking your head lightly.

There are certainly days where you can't wrap your head around the fact that the genius with the pretty face feels the same affection towards you as you do.

Another minute goes by before he puts his coffee down, pushes himself off the counter and walks over to you to carefully wrap his arms around your waist.

"Someone is awfully cuddly this morning", you say with a huge smile on your face. You lean into his touch so he knows you don't actually mind the closeness.

He still has days where he can't tell whether or not you're making a lighthearted joke or are trying to reject his advances. It took him a long time to be able to initiate physical contact without you having to make the first move or ask for it.

That's not because he didn't love you though. He simply didn't know what to do in a relationship.

He was trying to figure out the do's and don't's and you were more than happy to help him learn and understand what it means to be truly loved by someone.

Nowadays he doesn't hesitate to seek comfort in your arms and there's nothing you can think of that makes you happier than that.

All you ever wanted was for Spencer to feel at home with you.

He put his head on your shoulder and smiled into the crease of your neck

"I can't help it. I haven't seen you in 8 days, 5 hours and 24 minutes and now that i'm here i don't wanna waste a single second of it"

You silently put the last Waffle on the plate you set out and turned your head so you could face him.

You try to catch his eyes and as soon as you do, you press a light peck onto his pink lips.

"I missed you so much", you say while he softly grabs your waist to turn you around positioning you so that you're facing him.

He presses gentle kisses to your forehead, your nose, your cheek and suddenly stops right before your lips.

"I missed you too, my love"

Before you can form an answer he plants a firm and loving kiss on your lips making you forget about breakfast for a second.

But only for a second.

You start smiling into the kiss and lightly push him away. The distance between you two only big enough to let you catch your breath before you laugh and say

"Let's go eat. We haven't had breakfast together in a bit and i wanna cuddle on the couch and watch some Doctor Who"

He laughs and nods his head so his short curls fall into his face.

You bite your lip to suppress a grin before tucking the lose strand of hair behind his ear.

He reaches behind you to grab the plate and makes his way towards the couch you two picked out just over a month ago.

You follow him immediately, feeling giddy that you get to cuddle your boyfriend for the first time in days.

He puts the plate down, plops down on the couch and immediately opens his arms to invite you to get comfortable in them.

While you snuggle into his chest he grabs the remote and starts queuing Doctor Who Episodes for you guys to watch and analyze together.

You wrap your arms around his torso and bury your head into his neck. You sigh happily and plant tiny kisses on his shoulder and neck.

He tightens one of his arms around you and starts playing with your hair

-time skip-

Almost three hours later, the waffles long gone, you get up to get some drinks for the two of you.

As the credits to the third episode start rolling you can't help but notice that Spencer had gotten unusually quite.

You sit down next to him, put a hand on his arm and ask with a calm voice

"Baby what's wrong? You got so quiet and it looks like something's bothering you. Did something happen at work? Did the case end bad? Whatever it is Spencer i want to be there for you"

He looks at you with wide eyes. Almost like a kid with his hand stuck in the cookie jar. He looks guilty and it's making you nervous. You know you can't push him but you would be lying if you said you weren't worried.

He looks down for a second unsure of his next move. He takes a deep breath and hesitantly turns around to look at you.

Your hand immediately finding its place on your boyfriends jaw. Running your thumb over his stubble in a calming matter.

He leans into your touch and closes his eyes for a second.

You knew that he would eventually start talking so you had no problem patiently waiting for him to summon the courage to say whatever was on his mind.

"I was talking to Morgan the other day and he said something that got me thinking. Actually, i think it's fair to say that thinking turned into overthinking really quick. Although i don't know anymore. At this point, it might be a completely valid fear and i'm just trying to convince myself it's not. Of course you could apply that logic the other way around as well but - I'm rambling, aren't it", he says in pretty much one breath.

You show him a understanding smile and say,

"Yeah but it's okay. I want to hear what's on your mind. No matter how confusing"

He looks up at me and smiles with sad eyes

"I know you do and that's why the thought of ever losing you drives me completely insane"

You stare at him for a moment not understanding why he would be thinking of losing you before taking his hand into yours and asking

"Spence, do you want to tell me what you and Morgan talked about?"

He sighs loudly and runs his thumb over the back of your hand.

Looking straight at you he decides 'Now or Never'.

"He just broke up with his girlfriend and we were all trying to be there for him. He seemed completely fine but you never know with Morgan so i went to talk to him about the break up and he just smiled at me and said 'It is what it is, Pretty Boy. Relationships are doomed to break in our line of profession. Enjoy it while it lasts' "

he tells you doing a weird impression of Derek.

Under different circumstances you would've laughed.

You look at Spencer with a small smile on your face. He looks so distressed, you can't help but run your hand through his curls and climb into his lap.

He doesn't waste a second wrapping his arms around you to secure your position and before he can question you, you say

"So that's what this is about? You thinking i might leave you because of your Job?"

He shakes his head slightly and looks up to meet your eyes

"No this is about you deserving a boyfriend who doesn't spend 90% of his time a couple of states away from you every week. It's about me not wanting to make you feel like you come second when there's nothing that's more important to me than you. I would quit my Job if you asked me to. There's plenty of Jobs out there but no one quite like you. I hate to think that you might come to resent me for being away so much"

You run your hand through his curls again and smile softly. It's your turn to shake your head.

"What i deserve is a boyfriend who loves me for who i am. Someone who cares about my feelings and thoughts. Someone who doesn't mind binge watching Doctor Who with me on the weekends because i like that way better than going out. Someone who reads my favorite book so we can have a conversation about it. Someone who shows me how much he cares every single day. And i already have all that. I don't need anything or anyone else. I promise."

Spencers eyes are shut tightly and he leans his forehead on yours. He presses a light kiss to your nose and wistfully admits

"I'm just so scared my Job is going to take you away one day"

You wrap your arms around his neck and whisper

"I know a thing or two about that. Baby, you do so much good in the World. I couldn't be more proud if i tried. Let me ask you something. You like your Job, right? Despite everything it asks of you?"

He nods softly and opens his eyes

"I love my Job. Helping people gives me a chance to make a real change. It's what i've always wanted to do."

You smile at him and hum in agreement

"That's right. And you love me too, right?", you ask cheekily

He looks at you like you hung the moon, grabs your hand to press a soft kiss against it and says

"Of course i do. More than anything"

You once again nod in agreement.

"Then you have to understand that the World isn't always 'This or That'. I would never ask you to quit your job for me. I wouldn't want that. I love you too much to take away the thing that fulfills you and makes you happy. Relationships take work, Spencer. I'm not saying it won't be rough sometimes but at the end of the day you're my Clark Kent to the BAU's Superman and i wouldn't change a thing"

He looks at you with loving eyes that are glazed over with unshed tears and whispers

"I'm going to marry you one day, i promise. I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you that you're loved beyond compare"

He starts covering your face in kisses resulting in you laughing at his antics.

This wasn't the first time you two talked about marriage. You knew that he was the man you were going to walk down the aisle to. There wasn't a doubt in your mind.

You push him back down on the couch so you can lay down on his chest and say

"Now that we've established that you looove me, i think it's time for you to start the next episode. It's my favorite!"

You said it in a mocking voice but it genuinely did make your heart beat faster and he knew that.

"Damn straight i do", he says as he reaches for the remote.

Weekends with Spencer are simply the best.

[lavendersage]

i saw that post from the girl who's girlfriend isn't quite ready to be out. if ur blog didnt seem to celebrate love of all kinds (and i'm not talking straight vs gay, i'm talking happy vs sad) i would have kept this to myself, but between ur response and the op's story itself, i think im going to take this chance of sharing a burden on my heart, maybe to help someone else, or just for the shot at becoming at peace with it. a couple weeks ago, when u asked for everyone to send u stories of their lovers, i wrote most of this out but didnt send it.

i (21F) am a college student (god, is this reddit?). my entire life, i have cultivated the cleanest good girl image that i could. my parents sacrificed so much for my sister and i to grow up far more comfortable then they did, so i have tried to honor them with a little golden child they could brag about. straight As, never missed school, did community service, perfect SATs. i worked tirelessly to be on-paper perfect.

one of the reasons i've worked so hard to earn Good Noodle Stars is to make up for the fact that i am terminally homosexual. i realized real early that i could literally cure cancer and the first comment on the news video will be, "okay, she cured cancer, but at least I'm not gay like she is." i could raise thousands for charity, and my aunts would still say, "our kids may not get off the couch but at least they have sex correctly." so they dont know. few people do, none outside my closest circle.

in walks Mars(21NB). Mars is an anachronism. they are both a romantic with and without a capital R. be still my Dark Academia heart.

we got very close before school broke for Covid. Mars wrote me a letter every other week, encrypted and folded so that the only way to open them was to rip a paper seam that would show if someone had tampered with it. it was intoxicating. it was the first time i felt able to communicate freely about anything. i dont know - i didnt hold back my emotions, emboldened by writing in cipher. i spent all summer waiting for those red sealed envelopes, filled with stories and poetry and honeyed nonsense, and i refused to not respond with mirrored passion.

it was all great until it set in that I was going to have to face Mars again, in person. i prayed our school would decide all students had to stay remote. of course I wanted to see Mars, i want to do much more than just see them, but i knew it would only be a matter of time between us being reunited and them asking me out.

this was a person who crafted a puzzle where the answers were flowers that were a declaration of fidelity in Victorian Flower Language. of course i ate that up with a spoon. u would have too. listen, i know all aesthetics are fads and all fads age badly, but if the cottagecore girls get to learn to sew and bake and grow, i owe dark academia for teaching me the vocabulary and actions of my most treasured relationship yet, and giving me permission to be earnest and vulnerable in this life for 10 goddamn minutes. Mars is handsome and a genius and i was not used to feeling connected to anyone. but for all that joy, i was also drowning with the thought of having to break their heart by explaining i cant date anyone AFAB.

so the semester starts. Mars asks me over for a homecooked meal since restaurants don't exist here at the end of the world. they made me a beautiful dinner with all my dietary needs in mind. just like everything else i ate it up. and i made no effort to stop them from inviting me over for food and conversation again and again and a fourth time just to make sure it really hurt.

they kissed me after the last dinner. and I kissed them back, before stopping. they apologized for moving too quickly, but i explained that they had moved at the perfect pace, just with the wrong person.

there is no nice ending to this. it's real life. Mars took it as a breakup and didnt reach out to me again. i sobbed from halloween to christmas, i swear. i'm the villain in this story.

i started this post off as a sign of solidarity to the other young lady, but now im realizing that this letter would be better read by her fearful beloved, not her. it is 4am where i live, so i apologize if this has all gotten away from me.

love is a garden u have to water yourself. ngl, my favorite part about this blog is all the posts about learning to love yourself, learning to see ur intrinsic value dispite the core facets of u that have been deemed flaws, and trust the relationship between me, myself, and i.

i started out telling myself i was writing this to help the high school kid, but i havent shared this with anyone. writing this out has helped me process a thing or two, or at least start to. i like this idea of lavendersage being a kindly cryptid who will alchemise ur heartache into calm.

i hope you dont mind if i try to make this a thing.

my story is in the shape of a love letter. its tearstained before it even hits the water. i drop it in your river and watch it float away.

y’all are breaking my heart with these stories this week 🤧i feel so sad to read them and so helpless to respond, because i know how deep that pain must run and i don’t know if there’s truly anything i could say or do to take it away. but if i can lessen it from 100 to 99, well, then i’ll have fulfilled my goal of existing on this website. at the very least, i’m glad that writing this message helped you process some things on your own, but i’m happy to share my thoughts anyway.

your mars sounds like a top tier human being. victorian flower language? i’m swooning. it’s no surprise to me that you fell for them, and they were clearly head over heels for you. folks don’t make grand gestures like that for just anyone, that’s for sure 🥺

and i’m very sad to hear about the way things ended. but, anon, i can’t help but wonder if it is indeed over, or if hope exists on the precipice of a great act of bravery performed by you--something i know from experience is much easier said than done, and something i’ve failed to do in the past, so i’m not trying to be a hypocrite here. the ball is definitely in your court, though.

also...it doesn’t sit well with me to hear you call yourself a villain. i understand why you see it that way, as it’s clear that you deeply care for this person. but for many folks...the fear of what our family will say or think or do weighs so heavily on us that it robs us of any possibility of happiness with someone who isn’t the kind of person our family wants us to end up with. i’m sure plenty of folks, myself included, can empathize with this. and i’m sure on some level, mars does too.

my love, as with all things, i hope whatever happens next works out for the best, and that you don’t let this experience darken your heart. if things change between you and mars, please feel free to drop me a note. i’ll always be here to listen 💚💚💚`

[somersetmummy]

(A/N) This chapter takes place right at the beginning of the story, prior to TNA Chapter 1. Some characters property of Pixelberry.

Original characters: Katie Hide (MC), Jenny Blake

New characters: Lucinda Hansen

Rating/Content Warning: Mild adult language

Word count: 2005

Summary: MC Katie Hide is an English rose, living in New York. She’s down on her luck and desperately needs a job before her visa expires and she’s sent back to London. A chance conversation with a friend leads to an unlikely opportunity. Little did she know that one little interview would change the course of her life forever.

- Bonus social edits at the end -

Just like any other Thursday morning of recent weeks, Katie and Jenny were killing time together in their favourite coffee shop just down the street from their shared apartment. It had become Katie's haven and her go-to place when she wanted to lose herself for a few hours people watching, letting the stories of their lives unfold around her.

She'd always had a knack for paying attention to the details, noticing things which passed by most others. It was a skill she'd relied on heavily in her work, always giving her the edge, at least it had until the time it led to her downfall at Panacea Labs.

Katie had recently walked out of her job after piecing together a scheme under the radar to roll out a costly new drug for treating MS, despite there being multiple warning signs that it was ultimately ineffective but instead just masked the symptoms. Anyone else would've just glossed over the signs, not even noticing, but to Katie, the anomalies jumped off the page unmistakably. It was when she tried to escalate her concerns that she was shut down and her life in the lab made a misery by the VP, Declan Nash.

It hadn't taken long for her to realise that the company was more concerned about profits than actually helping people and she knew that the battle to fall in line and keep her job wasn't worth it. After calmly and quietly sending a company wide report on her findings, she gathered her things and walked out before she could be accosted by security. Little did she know that Nash had already been keeping tabs on her communications, in his eyes she was a trouble maker, and the report never saw the light of day.

Unfortunately for Katie, the current opportunities for young women in the biotech and pharmaceutical world just weren't what they should have been and she spent the next few weeks furiously searching for something else to avoid her work visa being revoked. 

Having moved from London to attend the New York Institute of Technology and graduating with a Masters in Chemistry & Bio Engineering three years ago, she'd fallen in love with the city and the life she'd built. She didn't know exactly what the future held and couldn't put her finger on why, but she had a very strong feeling that she needed to stay in New York.  

Today, Katie had planned to work through all the job adverts remotely relating to her experience and qualifications, with Jenny on hand to offer moral support. Tiring quickly of hitting one brick wall after another, they'd long forgotten the laptop and instead had spent the last 30 minutes idly chatting about Jenny’s upcoming gallery event when Lucinda arrived, phone to her ear, her body tense and voice sharp as she wrapped up a call with her boss.

"Of course I've got someone Angela, I wouldn't put my name in the mix if I didn't. My candidate is going to blow the others out of the water, I just know Mr Dalton will be impressed....no not just impressed, he'll be awestruck..."

While waiting for her to wrap up her call, Katie heads to the counter to order Lucinda a much needed coffee and returns to place it down in front of her just as she hangs up. She tosses her phone onto the table and slumps back in her chair, defeated.

Jenny stares her down waiting for an explanation which she and Katie both know Lucinda desperately wants to give but is holding off for dramatic effect.

After a long sip of coffee and a moment of holding her head in her hands she finally exhales.

"I am so SO SCREWED."

Katie and Jenny share a look before returning their attention to Lucinda.

"I've just promised my boss that I have the perfect candidate for some billionaire business man's nanny position....." She glares at them both as if they should understand why that's a problem. "I never touch these sorts of jobs, I only ever look for candidates in finance, nannying isn't worth my time."

Katie chooses her words carefully, knowing how Lucinda can bite back pretty quickly when she's stressed. Speaking softly, cautious not to poke the bear, she looks Lucinda in the eye and internally braces herself for whatever might come next.

"So what made this one so different?"

Fortunately Lucinda seems to finally be relaxing, she replies more quietly.

"Filling this position will put me on the map, nobody in the firm has been able to secure someone for this guy, they only seem to last a few weeks before they quit so the sign on bonus never kicks in. If I could find the perfect person I wouldn't only get a great bonus, I'd be next in line for promotion to Senior Head-hunter."

Her demanding demeanour melts away and she's left looking almost vulnerable. Something Katie knows Lucinda doesn't find at all comfortable.

"Anyway, I'll figure it out, I always do."

She gives Katie and Jenny a soft smile, allowing herself to momentarily forget about her woes so she can refocus the attention back to them.

"So what were you guys talking about before I came in?"

As Katie opens her mouth to speak Jenny cuts in on her behalf.

"Oh Katie's just been trying to work out how to get a job before her visa renewal date comes up in a couple of weeks."

Katie lets out a sigh of her own, suddenly remembering how dire her employment prospects are and feeling equally as defeated as Lucinda.

"I can't believe I've worked so hard for my degree, I found the perfect job in the perfect city but now it's all gone down the drain and I'm going to have to go back home and never see you all again."

Jenny wraps her arm around Katie's shoulders, pulling her close. "Oh come on, like you'd be able to shake us off. Even if you are in another country!"

As suddenly as Lucinda dramatically entered the coffee shop she slams her hand onto the table making the others jump.

"THAT'S IT!" She cries, her idea almost exploding out of her. "This is just too perfect...."

Katie and Jenny share a confused look before turning back to Lucinda who is practically foaming at the mouth, clearly onto something, though they're not quite sure what.

"You need a job, I need a candidate." She says in her signature matter of fact style.

Katie still has no idea where Lucinda's going with this.

"It's win win. I'll put you forward for the nanny position, you'll get a great job which means you get to stay in New York, I'll get my bonus. Not to mention I'll look like a damn superhero at work!"

The cogs start to turn in Katie's brain as she begins to digest what Lucinda is proposing.

"But I'm not a nanny....and what about my visa, it's only valid for work in relation to my degree."

Lucinda waves her hand at her, dismissing her concerns. "No problem there then. This guy's family owns one of the biggest Biotech companies in the country, surely that's related to your degree? He's so desperate for a successful match I'll make sure the visa thing is part of the contract."

She cuts back in quickly just as Katie opens her mouth to object.

"And as for you not being a nanny, what about all those times in the lab when you had to pull rank and sort out the shit that went down between your useless colleagues? You've done more nannying of adults in the last two years than most actual nanny's do in their whole career with children."

Jenny suddenly chimes in "OH MY GOD, this is genius!"

Defeated, Katie turns to look at Jenny in disbelief. She may have had a chance saying no to just Lucinda but with Jenny on board with this idea as well she may as well give up now.

"This will solve both your problems, I mean come on, who wouldn't want to work for this guy..."

Jenny turns her phone to Katie, clearly having been searching while she and Lucinda were talking. On the screen Katie sees the most devastatingly handsome man she's ever come across. He's nothing like the guys she'd known before, this person, was a real man and the sight of him caused her stomach to flip.

While undeniably handsome, it's not just the physical attraction that she's drawn to. Her eyes move to the company bio underneath his headshot and in true Katie style, she scans all of the accolades and achievements the company has to boast about. Her mind races at the possibilities. There's no mistaking that working for this man could open the door to so many opportunities and experiences in the future.

With a sigh she resigns herself to the fact that Lucinda might actually be on to something, this could be the break Katie had been waiting for and would certainly solve her imminent visa problems if she could get it taken care of as part of the contract negotiations.

With a silent nod and slight shrug of the shoulders, she begrudgingly agrees, much to the delight of her friends who squeal at each other in delight. Lucinda immediately pushes her shoulders back, standing to attention, furiously beginning to type on her phone.

"You TA'd for your old professor right?"

"Yes, I did a year as their assistant after graduating. Mainly doing research and going to conferences with her."

Lucinda's eyes never leave her phone as she works her magic, spinning Katie's words into an impressive resume. After a moment she raises her eyebrows and flits her eyes over to Katie, a small gesture which Katie realises is an invitation to elaborate.

"Oh, yeah so that's actually how I got into Panacea Labs, I met a rep at one of those conferences."

Jenny rolls her eyes at the mention of Katie's old company, now affectionately known by them both as Pariah Labs. Despite what she felt about Katie's previous employer, she was immensely proud of Katie's achievements and wanted to make sure they were included.

"Weren't you the youngest lab boss thingy they'd ever had?"

"Senior lab technician." Katie corrects, knowing full well that Jenny hasn't got a clue about the finer details of her work. "Well, yeah eventually, after two years of working my butt off. But I hardly think they'd rave about that in any reference they give me. If they even give one to begin with..."

Lucinda waves a dismissive hand at her.

"With this resume, you won't need any reference from those bastards. Trust me."

Katie had no idea what Lucinda had written or how she'd managed to spin her experience to be more favourable for a nanny position but it must've worked because half an hour later Lucinda slammed her hand down on the table once again, causing everyone around them to jump out of their skin.

"YES! It worked...he wants to see you, you've got an interview tomorrow at the Dalton Enterprises headquarters".

She turns her phone to Jenny to show off the email and they fall into an animated conversation, no doubt planning how they're all going to celebrate once Katie inevitably gets offered the job. As they fall into a blur in the background, Katie looks back over the picture of Sam Dalton on Jenny's phone, not quite sure how she can be so hypnotised by someone through a photograph.

There's something about him which feels familiar, something drawing her in. It's almost as if they're viewing each other through a looking glass and she wonders whether in this exact moment he is feeling the same magnetic pull towards her, a stranger whom he hasn't even met yet. Tearing her eyes away from the phone, Katie's tries to steady the stream of unanswered questions flooding her mind and focus on how she's going to win this man over.

"Here goes nothing."

TAG List: @shewillreadyou @chemist-ana @txemrn @silma-words @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123

- Bonus - pre-interview pep talk with the girls -

[imaginationintowords]

Lost on You

Chapter 10

Peter Parker x Sister!Reader Steve Rogers x Reader Avenger x Reader; Hybrid Social Media AU

Series Masterlist

"Can we please talk?" Steve pleaded.

"Steve-"

"Please Y/n,"he begged, his voice cracking, "Five minutes and I'll be out of your hair, for good. I promise."

"Okay," I agree.

As he closes the door, I take a look at his appearance. He doesn't look so good, I mean physically he looks the same, because of the serum. But if you really knew Steve, like the way I do, you can tell he isn't. His eyes immediately give him a way, dark circles surrounding them. They don't look as bright as they used to.

I can't help but feel bad for him, it's a normal human reaction. Even though he hurt me, that doesn't mean all the love we had went away. It's still there, maybe it'll always be there, but whether or not I want to continue that love, I just don't know if I can.

Steve stays by the door, trying to give me some space.

"I know I've apologized countless of times, but I still just need to say how utterly sorry I am. I don't think I'll ever not be sorry for what I have done. I hurt you, when I have promised you countless of times that I would never. You expressed your fears of relationships, having been hurt in the past and I had promised I would never do that. Yet here I am, no better than them, because not only did I do it, I broke that promise and your trust. If I have to spend my whole life making it up to you, I will," he starts off.

"That won't be necessary," I interject, I give him a wave continue.

"I love you, Y/n. And what happened that night, should have never happened. I can't even give you a real answer as to why it happened, other than the fact that we weren't thinking.

No, let me rephrase that, I wasn't thinking. I don't know what came over me, because why would I do that? Not when I have you. Not when our relationship was at it's all time best. Why would I throw all of that away for cheap mindless sex," he pauses, noticing my wince at that.

I nod for him to continue.

"I've kept myself up the last two weeks questioning why did I do it. And I don't have an answer. I just don't. And that's not good enough. It isn't. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, which I know it never would have been, I wouldn't accept that answer as well. And you don't have to, accept it. Because it's cowardly," he clears the lump in his throat, trying to hold back.

"I so badly wish I can go back to two weeks and never do that again, but I can't and now we have to deal with the consequences of it all, and that's all on me," he breaks.

"I love you so much. And I fucking ruined that. I was going to ask you to marry me and I fucked that up," he cries out, falling to the floor, his hands on his face as he cries.

"Steve," I rush over to his side, rubbing his back soothingly.

"I know that doesn't change anything, because I still cheated," he says looking over at me, his eyes red.

"It doesn't," I confirm, feeling myself begin to cry.

This is it.

We both know that.

That this moment right now, is our last.

We stay there, looking at each other as we cry. Steve reaches for me and brings me into his arms, and we just hold each other as we cry.

"I am so sorry," he cries into my hair, his grip tight, afraid to let go.

"I know," I cry into his chest, "I know you are."

After god knows how long, we slowly pull our faces away, still holding on to one another, just to get a look at our faces. The crying is now just silent tears rolling down our faces.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I know," my throat hurts, "I love you too."

I did the only thing I could think of, I let my heart take control, and I slowly leaned up to meet his lips. You can feel the desperation and heartache behind the kiss. The kiss got a little more heated, both of us so desperate, knowing that we will never be this way with each other again.

Next thing I knew, we were both naked in my bed, Steve hovering over me.

"Are you sure?" he asks, making sure I was okay with it.

"Yes," I whisper, trying to take in every feature on his face.

The way he looks while we make love for the last time.

There's something incredibly sad about making love for the last time, knowing that it will be the last time. Most couples don't have that pleasure of knowing the last time they made love was their last, so they don't get to treasure it. Always hoping that they could've had one more night together, just to know that there was love there.

Here in this moment, there is love. I don't doubt that Steve didn't love me, I know it. The look in his eyes in this very moment say everything I needed to know about our relationship, and I hope mine do as well.

The sadness, the love, the regret, it's all there.

We try our best not to cry, but we can't help it. It's sad.

It's sad knowing that this great love is over. And not knowing if you'll ever find one like it again. Or even not knowing if you'll ever love again.

After we're done, we lay there, not in each other's arms. We remain quiet, seeing which one will be the first to say the final goodbye.

"Steve," I whisper so quietly, that if not for his super soldier hearing I don't think he would've been able to hear.

He looks over at me, tears rolling down his face. He nods his head, knowing what I'm thinking.

He slowly gets out of my bed and makes his way around the room getting his clothes on.

I don't dare look. I can't. If I do, I don't think I'll be able to let him leave.

"Thank-you for everything," he quietly says once dressed, opening the door, "Goodnight Y/n."

He quietly closes the door behind him as he leaves.

I close my eyes and let the tears fall, hoping the exhaustion of the day will consume me into a heavy sleep soon.

The next morning I'm woken up by FRIDAY letting me know that the team meeting starts in an hour. I thank her, my voice hoarse, don't know if it's because I just woke up or the aftermath of last night.

I quietly get dressed, and look around my room.

It's quiet. Peace.

It's lonely. I kinda like that.

It no longer feels like home.

I don't think I can stay here much longer.

Now that Steve and I are officially done, I think it's time I find some independence.

If the last two weeks have taught me anything is that, I need a little more independence.

I need a life outside of the Avengers.

A life where I don't work and live in the same building. Where I can escape.

Play music as loud as I want. Eat whatever the hell I want, and not worry if someone else has eaten it already.

Don't get me wrong I loved living here, I really did. I never had that college experience, we couldn't afford tuition and dorm living. Living here has let me experience the roommate life. But things are starting to get crowded. Everyone knows everything. You never have a chance to just breathe.

That's what I want, just a moment to breathe, without Sam and Bucky fighting over the tv remote. Without Tony dropping in in the middle of the night because he needs you in the lab ASAP, because he had a revelation in his sleep. I love Wanda, but sometimes you just need a break from even your best of friends. And now that Steve and I are officially over, how is dating going to be like for either of us. Not that that's going to happen anytime soon, but it's eventually going to happen, and I really don't want to see that with him, and him with I. It's just too complicated.

I have never been alone before. I've always had someone right there.

I think, no I know, it's time I be on my own. Doesn't mean I won't be an Avenger or work for Tony, it just means that I won't be living here with them.

And for the first time in the last two weeks, I feel content.

Free.

Like I can finally breathe.

That's how I know this is the right decision for me.

Summary: Y/N Parker is Peter’s older sister. She is ten years older than Peter, making her 26 years-old. She is also an Avenger, her powers are very similar to Wanda’s; telekinesis, mind reading, teleportation, and elemental bending. She has been an Avenger far longer than Peter, and like Peter her identity is kept a secret. As well as being an Avenger she works in the lab alongside Tony, she is a science genius. She has also been dating Steve Rogers for the past 3 years. Their relationship is as great as it can possibly be, that is until Steve does something that has Y/n questioning not only their entire relationship, but her place in the Avengers. It opens her eyes to how much of her life has revolved around Steve and work. Never really experiencing life like everyone else her age has.

Series tag list: @chaoticpete @eliza5616 @supraveng @faithtrustandrobbiekay @inquisitor-selvala @dumbbitch11 @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @jessyballet @reann-loves-sebstan @thelostallycat @castalette @lovely-geek @malfoyy123 @zombieninjadinostayssilent @welovecaptainamericaass @dontbetooobvious @stop-drop-and-drumroll @cvelarded @ophelias-heart​ @csigeoblue​

Permanent tag list[let me know if you want to be taken off]: @rosegolddivinity @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict @geeksareunique @24kbratz @introvertatitsfinest @imagine-all-the-imagines @whatthefuckimbisexual @also-fangirlinsweden @the-queen-of-the-nerds

[vaultsixtynine]

the prime cantor has a vague, extremely lofty and esoteric goal that she's been pursuing for centuries, and it's the basis of like. pretty much Every Thing in the carillon and every decision the pc has made in her rulership of it. nobody really knows this, because she plays pretty much everything close to the chest, but besides [redacted, ancient event], she's had two major breakthroughs within the timeline that roz and co. live in, and they center around people that the prime cantor uses and discards when they can no longer be made to obey properly or she's tired of them.

anaïs (roz's mom) - veritable genius, highly conceptual researcher, high and abstract mathematics, heavy theory and calculation. useful to the prime cantor for gathering information, finding fundamental patterns, and building a strong understanding of basics that had been eluding her after centuries of stagnation. was ?killed? either accidentally or on purpose, and her death (and the circumstances/variables/effects thereof) was a keystone moment of understanding for the pc that had not had any equal for centuries. pc realizes a new direction she needs to take her country in, and starts pouring resources into r&d and general technology advancement to replace the dying magic systems (a consequence of choices and systems she made a long time ago, and on the whole intentional) - anaïs had been mistrustful of the pc and her intentions for her research for years, and much moreso after having roz; roz has a deeply veiled breadcrumb trail that she will one day follow to better understand her mother and the circumstances of her death, as well as her work, the potential consequences of it, and the responsibilities she's passing on to roz. anaïs was terrified of being unexpectedly taken away from her daughter by the prime cantor, and thus made concerted efforts to protect and hide information for roz, just in case. some of this has been destroyed by time or by roz's abusive grandmother, but anaïs was incredibly canny and a lot of her legacy still remains for her daughter to uncover.

stiffcollar - pc's despised secretary/bodyguard/bitch boy. he had no value to her and everything he did for her while in her service was basically pointless, because she ends up ritualistically sacrificing him to try to capture the same effects from when roz's mom died (?) - but it doesn't work, stiffcollar becomes... what he is now, and the cantor is tilted because she doesn't understand why he couldn't be useful for ONCE in his entire life. he is her tool in her system and she made him - hundreds of years ago, she made a society that would produce thousands of him, all useless and stupid and devoted to her - and it's unconscionable and deeply offensive to her that in half a millenia he's the first tool that she couldn't just dispose of after using (it's so unsettling to think of all the things - people - that may have slipped through the cracks in her flawless, ordered system -) - but even though he didn't die and even though she banished him from being anywhere near her because of that outrage that disguises a sliver of fear, him Not dying has given her new variables, new insight, and allowed her to start a whole new slew of living being rights violations in the three years since his un-death.

arkwright: latest 'recruit' (she didn't have a say in the matter), and in many ways intended to be a replacement for anaïs. aw is an engineer and an inventor whose main focus is flight, but her improvements to an archaic, thought-impossible design called a 'null engine' caught the prime cantor's eye. basically kidnapped and taken to serve as an advisor (???) / pet inventor for the pc, arkwright has begun to sense that this isn't just about an engine or a fat government commission and has started to be immensely careful and stall for time. she starts the narrative in this precarious position, making up materials requests (some genuine!) that take her to remote chords and get her out of the cantor's direct line of sight while she tries to get to the heart of something so much more massive and decayed than she was ever prepared for. she is Not as theoretical and calculation-exclusive as anaïs, and instead wants experiments, prototypes, and physical results, which is both good and bad. she's also less attuned to healthy magic (anaïs was much more closely aligned with non-carillon mathemagics after she had roz, bc reasons) and much More attuned to whatever it is that the prime cantor is affiliated with, due to her fucked up heart situation. again, both good and bad. probably mostly bad for her, in the long run.

[anzanity]

Knight in a Vest

(Idk where I got the gif from, it is just saved to my phone. A lot are. He is so precious.)

You noticed Malcolm Bright early on in college classes. He would watch you as you carefully kept your hoodie over your arms, and as you shied away from talking to people.

You just hoped he hadn't figured out your situation. After all, your boyfriend threatened to kill you if you told anybody about the abuse.

Today as you left your year three psych class, Malcolm came up to you with a gentle smile, "Hi, I'm Malcolm Bright. We've had a few classes together over the past few years..."

"Hi, yeah, I'm Y/n... but I'm actually a bit late to get home..." You start, trying to get away. He is the only one in the class that would be able to pick out what your going threw. He is a genius.

"Let me walk you then. I'm your neighbor actually." His tone is caring and determined.

"Fine. Yea. How did I not notice?" You question him.

He chuckles some, "You keep your eyes to the floor. A common characteristic of someone who is scared."

"Why would I be scared...?" You look at him nervously. He knows.

"I hear you at night... the walls aren't that thick... Plus, you have all the key components to look for in a victim..." He sounds so sure of himself.

"I'm not... fine... yeah... but how can you possibly help me?" You ask, looking at him.

"Let me sneak you into my apartment and call the cops to come get a statement and take him away." He makes it sound easy and holds out a hand to you.

Hesitantly, you take his hand and nod.

"Ok, we will go in through the back door. No windows from your apartment will see us there. Come on." He explains as he starts walking.

You nod and follow close by, thinking:

He doesn't even really know me and he is helping me, saving me.

Malcolm pulls out a phone and makes a call, though you tune it out, not wanting to face the reality of what's happening quite yet.

That's when you notice you are already at the back entrance of the apartments. Without thinking, you grab Malcolm's hand tightly and hold him back. You are sure you look ridiculous and childish right now, but you have been stuck in this situation for years and scared to try to get out of it.

Malcolm asks the person on phone to wait a second and looks at you both comfortingly and worried. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry... I'm being silly..." you quickly apologize and let go of his hand. 

He puts his hand on your arm comfortingly, "You're scared... that's okay... it isn't silly to be scared... But I'm right here for you. Let's get up to my place so you are guaranteed safe." He then wraps a arm around your shoulders and leads you up while finishing up with the operator.

Once in his apartment, you pull off the hoodie and drop it on the floor before sorting on the other side of the couch and looking away from it. It was his hoodie. He forced you to wear his hoodie all the time.

Under it were the cuts and bruises from late night fights and the showy low cut shirts he made you wear because he liked how they looked. You weren't really yourself with him and knew it. But you never thought you would get free.

"This is his, isn't it..?" Malcolm asks softly, holding the hoodie.

You just nod and look at him. He doesn't seem to notice the marks on your body. He just sees you.

Without warning, he throws the hoodie into a tiny metal trashcan can, adds some paper, and lights it in fire. The hoodie quickly starts to burn and a smile creeps onto your face ever so slowly.

Then the smoke detector goes off, making Malcolm jump a little and quickly try to stomp out the fire.

He succeeds in outing it out, but not before making you laugh softly at his antics.

"If me almost catching fire is what makes you laugh, I'll do it again..." Macolm proudly announces while trying to get his breathing back to normal.

You shake your head with another giggle, "Please don't..."

"Would you like one of my sweaters? I have like six different ones; I'll let you pick." Malcolm changes the subject.

You look at your arms with a sigh, "Your least favorite one will be fine... Thank you for all of this..."

Malcolm nods some and heads to the bedroom before coming back soon after with a cozy looking sweater, "You get my favorite one. Because you deserve to get the best..."

You look at him, ready to protest, but his eyes look so sincere that you simply can't. So you take it and slip it on.

He sits down beside you and hands you the remote. After looking at it for a moment, you decide it best to just accept the offer and put on Investigation Discovery.

After about twenty minutes of sitting comfortably on the couch and talking about murder investigations and serial killers, there's a knock on the door that causes you to jump into a alert position.

He puts a hand on your knee comfortingly then goes to the door and cracks it open some. After a brief exchange, he opens the door and let's in two cops, a male and a femal.

Suddenly you aren't so sure you can do this.

"Hello Miss Y/l/n. Could you tell us what has been going on?" The female cop asks.

You look to Malcolm nervously then nod some, "My boyfriend... Jackson Walters...  threatened thay if I told anyone, he'd kill me... but, uh..." You decide to just slip off the sweater and let them see for themselves.

"Would you mind if we took some pictures..?" The man asks.

"If it helps keep him away from me..." You mumble.

"It will sweetie." The female says and they begin taking pictures of all your bruising.

Once they finish up, they call for backup to get Jackson.

Malcolm sits beside you and pulls the sweater over your shoulders before whipping away a tear.

You hadn't even noticed the tears falling down your cheeks.

Without hesitation you hug him tight. He pulls you too him and holds tight.

As soon as the other cops arrive, you hear Jackson shouting and cursing in the hallway, threatening to kill you. You tense up and hold your breath nervously.

Then you feel your hair being stroked softly, "You're alright... he is going away for a long time... and you can stay with me as long as you need... you're safe here." Malcolm coos softly.

You relax some but don't let go of the man who successfully saved you.

Malcolm isn't sure how long her site there holding you, but after he realizes you are asleep, he lays you down and puts a blanket over you. 

He then sits at his counter and gets a cup of coffee. He knows you won't have anywhere to stay. It is likely that the apartment you were in was Jackson's, and if you don't have the money, you'll be homeless.

The only logical choice is to let you stay with him until you get on your feet.