#about how i've been meaning to get into more of those bands that are considered maybe among the most influential and sort of classic

[boomcrashthelightningflashed]

Okay sooo these are smaller excerpts from a bigger slide presentation(it's 43 slides I won't subject you to that) I've made for shits and giggles that I think pertain to this subject -

Went and Maggie:

In the book, we meet Maggie and Wentworth Tozier, parents to an overactive, loud, boisterous Richie. Went is a dentist and often indulges Richie in his voices, allowing him to do extra chores when he spends his allowance, and is an attentive and loving father. Maggie, though she often wishes she’d had a girl, loves her son despite not always understanding him. Though only appearing in a few chapters in short scenes with their son, never once is it implied that the Toziers don’t love their son.

In the 2017 and 2019 movies Richie’s parents aren’t mentioned, however, Andy Muschetti has been quoted as saying:

"We don't know much about Richie's personality, because he's the big mouth of the group. But we suppose he's also neglected at home, and he's the clown of the band because he needs attention."

Why does this matter?

Why get rid of, or for runtime’s sake imply, that some of the only loving adults in the story are neglectful?

Whether intentional or not, this is a common trope for gay characters. Taking away one of the only loving sets of parents from the character you’ve chosen to make gay (the wrong character to focus this on IMO), is tone-deaf in the worst way. In a story full of abusive parents, it’s a shame to remove characters that could have shown a positive impact on your character.

Eddie's Identity and his Queerness:

Through every interpretation of IT, Eddie can be interpreted as queer. His relationship with Myra wasn’t because of his attraction to women, it is stated explicitly that he is not attracted to her, but because of his dependency on his mother. His encounter with the leper makes it clear what he is afraid of without stating it outright. This diseased man is offering him sex, he is terrified of disease (because of his mother), but his sexuality as well. It's a man, King could have used a woman if illness was Eddie's only fear but he didn't. Eddie is also insulted by It in the boys' showers at his school, It comes out of the drain to insult him. The shower setting is incredibly vulnerable and has been used many times in other media to point out gay characters. There are countless jokes (albeit homophobic and wrong) about public showers, it seems too specific of a scene to ignore. Many of the names and insults Eddie endures both from It and from Bowers, are similar to those later thrown at Adrian Mellon, one of the only openly gay characters in every adaptation. The similarities between the two characters don't stop at their insults either, they are both small in stature, there are several illusions to the similarities in their appearances and both men are asthmatic. Even if Eddie's is psychosomatic, his aspirator and asthma are an important part of his character, it wouldn't make sense for Adrian to also be asthmatic if it didn't mean anything.

The 2017 and 2019 movies ignore those qualities that were often associated with Eddie. The one allusion to his awareness of homosexuality comes in a transition shot in Chapter 1 where he’s riding his bike with the other Losers explaining what his mother had told him about AIDS. However, this is only an assumption as it is never explicitly stated what he’s discussing. In 1998, it was still considered a gay disease, so having Eddie talk about this is telling but a casual viewer wouldn’t pick up on it.

Instead of exploring the subtext of Eddie’s sexuality and how it effects his encounters with It, the movies change Richie’s story almost completely to make him gay. And even then it’s not explicitly addressed.

Changing the Fears -

Eddie:

In the book, the Leper, a physical manifestation of Eddie’s fear of illness, asks to give Eddie a blow job. He’s frequently ridiculed by Pennywise for being “girly.” These are a little more than subtle clues to Eddie’s sexuality. The book was written during the AIDS crisis during which homophobia ran rampant, and although young Eddie was growing up in the 1950s, a fear of homosexuality was not uncommon.

In the movies, however, neither of these things are mentioned. He’s never chastised for being less masculine and the Leper is nothing but a gross-out scene. They took any queer subtext Eddie had away from him and replaced them with “your mom” jokes.

Richie:

In horror media, it’s typically vampires that are used as metaphors for queerness, however, werewolves can easily be used in the same way. Richie’s original fear was the werewolf from the 1958 film I Was a Teenage Werewolf. A werewolf can also be a metaphor, there was no reason to change Richie’s fear to being solely his sexuality. A werewolf can represent the inner struggles, a battle between good and bad. There were ways to make Richie gay without making it his sole issue. The fear of being gay is another common trope portrayed in media, and in a movie about fear made in 2019 it’s kind of ridiculous.

..wait, theres actually a theory that RICHIE, one of the ONLY ONES WITH DECENT PARENTS, has abusive parents??? i thought that was a headcanon

[seaofreverie]

I was about to start throwing plates because even though hours have passed, the messages on my deco my tree just wouldn't load and in all honesty I was looking forward to reading those more than getting my christmas presents. But looks like making an account on another sketchy website that was linked on that already also sketchy website did give me access to the messages finally. The only problem is that i can't see who they're from but also they seem to be chronological so I think I can figure it out lol. So after some frustrations i can finally say that i have read them and they were really sweet and nice.... so, thank you friends!!!!! 💝 I hope your holidays were great too. And moral of the story is don't trust random websites like these with something that's sort of personal to you idk

[justlikeheavenfest]

register now for access to passes, on sale this friday at 11am PT. May awaits with arms outstretched. 🫶 $49.99 down payment plans available. www.justlikeheavenfest.com

[l1v1ngd3dgrrl]

Tulpar crew: Least to most likely to have an Alternative (Goth) Partner. [HC's]

AN: No one asked for this, this is purely my thoughts alone. (And yes when i said all I mean ALL...Minus Polle duh.) Please behave yourselves I'm BEGGING you

CW(S): Slight UNINTENTIONAL fetishization of Goth women (it's brief and no it's not Jimmy's doing. It's a reference to a meme, it'll make sense when you read it.)

MDNI banner: cafekitsune

Curly [Least]

I can hear your gasps behind the screen (I'm sorry!)

He doesn't mean it maliciously! I feel like he wouldn't like..Actively seek out a goth BUT he would date (and or marry) one if the chance presents itself.

doesn't really get the fashion aspect, but does like some bands (I can see him liking some of The Cure)

Swansea

Have zero clue when this man was born, or when Mouthwashing takes place. All I know is he's old (not like super old but old y'know)

..I don't think he's ever met a goth? Maybe like once and they were someone younger than him.

Finds the more 'traditional' goth looks annoying in a sense. Whaddya mean you did all that for some fashion?

Another person I can see liking very few goth bands..maybe a song or two. He can't tell you the name of the songs or what bands it is, but if you put on a song that he likes he'll kind of bop his head to it.

Daisuke

Honestly It's hard to pin point his type, based on in game dialogue he likes hot women (who doesn't) and since ones definition of hot varies who knows what he's into.

now me personally... I see him as a straight man BUT for the sake of this list he plays for all teams m'kay?

Similar to Curly I don't think he actively seeks out Goths, but if you two get along and you happen to be goth then yeah.

Would be the type to post "Need me a big tiddy goth gf" as a JOKE, he's joking i swear guys pLEASE. (you cannot tell me that he wouldn't have some stupid shitpost account on instagram or something.)

If it upset you he's taking it down and apologizing over and over and over.

If you think it's funny it becomes a joke between you two.

He canonically likes thrifting so he'd be down to help you find new pieces for your wardrobe (we love a supportive man)

Jimmy

Hear me out-

He does kind of view you as like an accessory, or like a trophy. if you don't dress 'goth' all the time he will view you as fake and not 'goth enough.'

HOWEVER, I do see him having some base knowledge about Alternative subcultures. (I saw a headcannon from curly-my-beloved and that's what made me think about putting him here)

During his high school years he probably considered himself Punk or something. Maybe had one Goth gf that dumped him in a really really messy breakup.

Unironically He would be the fucker to see someone wearing a band shirt and go "name 3 songs" or give you a pop quiz about the band, and call you a poser or fake fan.

I can see him liking some Type o negative, but he strikes me as a metal guy. Metallica/ Rob Zombie maybe? (Every man I've had the misfortune of crossing paths with who was obsessed with either have been the most insufferable dickheads to walk this earth. don't get me started ughh.)

Anya

Firm believer that Anya is one of those goths who doesn't dress goth at all, but her entire playlist says otherwise.

Once in a blue moon she'll get all gothed up but with how busy she is with work and med school she doesn't have time for it.

I can totally see her being the most likely to have a goth partner.

You two share music recommendations often, and sometimes you get into squabbles about what band is considered goth or not. (with love of course)

she KNOWSS her subculture history. Ask her any question about the subculture and she's gonna give you a whole presentation on it.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Who is My Heart Waiting for? | Park Jimin One Shot | Teaser 2

Summary: Getting closer to one of the staff on tour didn’t seem like such a bad idea…that is until Jimin realizes that his feelings for her are more than just platonic. Pairing: Rockstar!Jimin (pov) x Staff f!reader Warnings: Explicit language but that’s about it at this point (I’ll add more when I post the full version) a/n: I'm releasing another teaser since the last time I talked about this fic was 6 months ago and I want to see if I should keep it as a Jimin fic or if I should change it to Jungkook...

"Ayo Jimin!" our keys player Tyler calls out to me as we all stumble into the green room, throughly exhausted after playing our third encore of the night.

"Did you see the way that little hottie in the front row was looking at you?" his description of whatever girl he's talking about incredibly vague.

"You'll have to be a little more specific Ty, there were plenty of hotties in the front row" I throw back, rolling my eyes and opening the water bottle one of the staff gave me.

"The little blondie in the red dress?" he offers, his description yet still vague helps me sort through the girls that had been screaming my name throughout the show.

"She was practically drooling" he continues poking fun at her and I can't help but want to shift the attention away from her.

"I mean I would too if I were her" I say, throwing out a cocky comment like I always do. It's no secret that I know I'm hot and after that concert high it takes a second for me to come back down to earth.

"You're the front man for a reason I guess" our drummer Zach says, sticks still in hand, tapping on whatever surface he can reach.

"Don't give him a bigger head than he already has Z" Asher our lead guitarist says, rounding out the rest of our band with Leo our bassist chiming in soon after.

"Gotta give the man some credit though. I think I saw a girl pass out after he made eye contact with her" he teases, leaving Zach clapping me on the back making me stumble from the sheer force of it.

Leo chuckles when he sees the glare I send Zack's way but it's gone when he slumps down on the couch next to him. "Thanks" I grumble while rolling my shoulder, him being the one chuckling now, the intensity he had been using while banging on those drums still in full effect.

"Anyways" Tyler says, bringing the conversation back to where it had started "I bet she's still out there...waiting for you...hoping she'll be your girl for the night" he taunts winking to add fire to flame my protest against the idea.

"You know I don't do that anymore" I mumble, walking over to grab my phone and seeing that Sage is still blowing it up.

"Why don't you just block her? She's obviously psycho if she thinks that you're still gonna go back to her after all the shit she put you through" he says, bringing up past memories from my last relationship that I would really rather forget.

"Ty stop" Leo warns, coming to my defense when he sees how tense I've gotten from the way he's been bad mouthing my ex.

"Why? We all know she deserves it" he presses, leaving me balling my hands into fists, seriously considering shutting him up but when I turn around Ash's hand is already clamping down on my wrist.

"Just let it go" he mumbles, leaving me relaxing my hands knowing that he's right but I'm still ticked off.

"I need some air" I huff, pulling my wrist out of his grasp and shoving the back door open, leading to the fenced off parking lot behind the venue, a convenient place where I can breathe in the cool night air. 

It's become a routine I'm accustom to whenever Tyler gets on my nerves at this point and after clearing my head for what feels like mere moments I hear footsteps making their way over to me.

"I don't wanna hear it Ash, I'm fine" I sigh, my back resting against the side of the building, head hanging low, focused on the rocks I'm toying with.

"I'm not Ash" the voice says and my head pops up, watching as the familiar form gets closer. "And I didn't come here to lecture you" she says, mirroring my posture and leaning up against the wall beside me.

"Hey Strings" I mumble the name I gave y/n, one of our newish staff members. "You probably heard all that huh?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders.

"Not all of it but I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it" she admits, shoving her hands in her hoodie to shield them from the cool breeze that's blown our way.

"You should head back inside. I don't want you to catch a cold" I nod towards the door and she scoffs. "I should be the one saying that to you Mr. Lead Singer. Last time I checked we still have a couple more shows left" she scolds and I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head.

"What happened to not lecturing me?" I raise a brow at her and she crosses her arms, biting her tongue and going back to keeping her promise.

"As long as you're out here, I'm out here" she argues and I mirror her posture.

"Don't come crying to me when you feel like shit in the morning" I say and she scoffs in response "Then you better not come crying to me either" she says and I smile, knowing that she'll be at my mercy if I need her.

"That's your job though isn't it Princess?" I say, my voice dropping and I relish in the reaction she gives me. Her eyes widen a bit but if you blinked you would've missed it and she turns her head to hide the fact that my words effected her.

"Don't call me that" she mumbles and I laugh, bumping my shoulder against her's, "You know I was just teasing you y/n" I say and she shakes her head. "Don't call me that either" she protests and I can't help but want to keep toying with her.

"Why not? That's your name isn't it?" I say, poking her in the side, making her jump and whack my arm without hesitation. "It's Strings, anything else sounds weird coming out of your mouth" she says and I smile.

"I thought you hated that name" I chuckle and she sighs, "It's...grown on me" she mumbles and I hum, content that it seems we've gotten closer.

"Seems like you've gotten a lot better at restringing our guitars though so I might have to come up with a new nickname for you. Perhaps Sticks" I say, tapping my chin and remembering how she dropped a box of Zack's backup drum sticks the other day.

"Strings is just fine since it might as well be carved into my skin from all the times they broke on me" she says in reference to the many many times she had messed up when she started working with us on our last tour.

"I'll never forget the day we met" I say and she cringes, "One hell of a first impression huh?" she scoffs, still embarrassed to this day.

"Well when your first impression of your new crew member is a shy 'Hello' and the next second their thumb is getting sliced open by a rouge guitar string then yeah I guess you could say that's one way to be remembered" I chuckle and she slides down the wall, resting on her heels and curling up into a ball.

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad" I say, crouching down next to her but she shakes her head, "I'm never gonna live that one down huh?" she groans.

"Probably not, but it was a great ice breaker...or I guess skin slicer" I say, trying to make a joke out of it but it doesn't go over well when she groans again and refuses to say anything else.

"You're lucky I was able to take you to the hospital since everyone else was busy" I say, my teasing nature with her relentless as always.

"I wouldn't call it lucky since I had to listen to your whiney singing the whole way there" she retorts and I gasp, feigning offense but this is the same song and dance we have every time this memory is brought up.

"People would pay to hear this whiney voice sing. Oh right...they do" I retort and she huffs, standing up to lean against the wall again and I follow her in suit.

"You alright though?" she asks and I breathe out, trying to figure out how to keep my temper in check. "I swear that man is more interested in getting me laid than he is in himself" I say and she chuckles, listening wordlessly and waiting for me to get it all off my chest.

"I don't understand why he's so obsessed with the fact that I'm not sleeping around. Sage and I broke up right before we went on tour and all he's been doing is trying to pawn me off to whatever girl he's noticed has got her eye on me. If he doesn't have a girl on his arm yet then he's concerned about getting one under mine" I ramble and she nods along.

"He claims it's gonna help me blow off some steam but the only time I feel the need to do that is when he's ticking me off again" I finish, trying to slow my breathing so I don't get myself too worked up again.

"He's just trying to look out for you but I will admit he's probably not going about it in the healthiest way...but he means well" she tries to reminds me and I know she's right, but something about the way he goes about it just rubs me the wrong way. 

"Yeah I know" I mumble running a hand through my hair in an effort to brush off the emotions this whole ordeal is bringing me.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asks making me chuckle. "That's my line" a wicked grin spreading across my lips making her push off the wall and walk away. "Suit yourself" she says, brushing off my teasing as me declining her invitation. 

"Hey wait up! I didn't say no" I protest jogging over to her and draping my arm around her shoulders, leaning on her so she stumbles and tries to push me off.

"You're pushing your luck here" she says but I wrap my other arm around her as well and follow her to the car that's parked next to the tour bus. "Liz gave you the keys?" I ask, surprised that our manager is letting her take the car for a spin.

"Not in so many words. She told me to look after you so I figured I would need a car to do that properly" she relays and when I walk over to the drivers side first and hold out my hand she tosses me the keys.

"If she tries to chew your ass out about it just tell her it was my idea" I say and she rolls her eyes before we both sink down into our seats. "Can't have my favorite staff member getting fired now can I?" I say and she sighs. "Don't let Liz hear you saying that or I'll really get fired" she warns and I turn the key in the ignition to start the car.

"Everyone knows you're my favorite, Strings" I say and she crosses her arms over her chest and slumps down into the seat. I take that as a good reaction since she usually gets shy when I say stuff like that but I'll have mercy on her this time and enjoy our night.

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Taglist continued in the comments 💜

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[goatcheesecak3]

How about Adam x reader who were dating before the trap, maybe got into a fight, but Adam lives because that’s definitely what happened and they find each other.

Also ur NSFW hcs were good so feel free to sprinkle some spice if you see fit :)

Lost and found

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x gn!reader

Fic type: angst, fluff

Warnings: missing person, medically induced coma

A/n: hello!! Thank you for your request, it was such a cute idea!! There's no nsfw because I couldn't find a way for it to fit into this story, but while we're on the topic I just wanna give a message to anyone who saw my Adam nsfw hcs!! I originally posted the unfinished version by accident, but I've gone back and added more to them since! So make sure you're all caught up on those, in my very biased opinion they're extremely canon teehee :^) all can be found in my masterlist as usual

You and Adam had dated for two years before finally ending it about a month ago. The relationship was tumultuous to say the least, epic highs followed by epic lows. Being with Adam could be so wonderful at times, the way he kissed you like you were the only person in the world, the way he would have you folded in on yourself laughing. Your memory was filled with long nights spent talking and falling deeper and deeper in love. Adam was good with his words, which was a blessing and a curse- he could make your heart flutter just as easily as he could crush it. Arguments were frequent, and volatile, he always took things too far. Deciding that this was no way to live, with heavy hearts, the two of you called it quits.

You'd heard around from mutual acquaintances that he'd gotten into a pretty rough spot after the breakup, apparently he'd become some kind of stalker for hire? Like a private investigator but with absolutely no credentials or regard for his or anyone else's safety. It didn't exactly surprise you that he'd gone into a somewhat shady line of work, considering his lack of high school diploma there weren't really many options for him, you wished you could help, but you'd both agreed to keep your distance and move on.

One day however, you couldn't help but break the promise you'd made to yourself, and you asked about him. You'd run into his best friend, Scott at a video store, and despite all your restraint, the words tumbled out of your mouth:

"How's Adam been lately?"

"Pfft how should I know? I haven't spoken to that asshole since he totally bailed on my band photoshoot" Scott scoffed, rolling his eyes disinterestedly.

It wasn't like Adam to turn down paid work of any kind, so you decided to pry deeper,

"What do you mean? He just didn't show up?"

"Yeah, no call, no nothing. He hasn't spoken to anyone. Probably thinks he's too good for me and the guys now with his investigator bullshit, but lemme tell y-"

"Wait, he's actually doing that?! That's so dangerous, you don't think he's gotten himself into trouble do you?"

"I don't know, I got my own shit to worry about. Besides, no one bails on me and gets my sympathy. Scott Tibbs don't chase, baby." He said, all too loudly. You could practically see his ego bulging out of his head.

As you left the video store, the interaction played on your mind. After you and Adam had broken up, Scott was pretty much the only person in his life, and he didn't seem to give two hoots about Adam's wellbeing. Essentially, there wasn't a single person on earth who'd heard anything from Adam in the last week, and no one seemed to be trying to find him. You knew his family were estranged, and pretty much everyone else in his life were all acquaintances at best. If he was in trouble, it was up to you to help.

You headed to his apartment, just to see if he was home. Best case scenario he was, and you got some of your cds back, worst case.. well, you didn't wanna think about that.

You crept up the creaky mildewy staircase of his apartment complex until you reached his floor. Something in your gut felt wrong as you got closer to his door, something that you couldn't quite understand. It wasn't fear, it was overwhelming dread. You always thought there was a big difference between those two feelings; fear was wondering if something bad would happen, and dread was knowing in your heart that it would.

You knocked on his door and waited a beat. Nothing. For whatever reason, a voice in your head told you to try the door handle, and to your surprise, it was unlocked. Adam's apartment looked frozen in time, a half eaten bowl of mouldy noodles sat on his coffee table, an empty beer bottle next to it. Everything looked untouched. That was until your eyes made their way to the floor next to his closet- his camera. Smashed to pieces, and left strewn all over the floor. Your eyes darted up toward his redroom, which appeared to have been ransacked.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. You repeated over and over in your head like a mantra.

Your first thought was that someone he'd been stalking had caught him, followed him home to destroy any damning evidence, then deal with Adam.

Panic set in at this moment, as you rushed through his apartment, desperately hoping he was just passed out somewhere.

"Adam?! Adam?!" You cried out, to no avail.

Of course, the second you had regained enough composure to remember to do so, you called the police and filed a missing person's report. The next few days were filled with police interviews, cutting out and sticking the few pictures of Adam you had onto missing person's posters and plastering them all over the city. You handed them out to anyone who would take them, you gave them to all the venues and corner shops that Adam often went to, and you hounded the police relentlessly.

Sure, Adam was your ex, but my god how you had loved him, how you still loved him. You were the only person in his life who loved him, and you refused to give up.

After 6 never ending days, your phone rang. It was a call from the police.

"We've found a young man fitting Adam's description on the outskirts of the city. He's currently in the hospital in a medically induced coma while the staff tend to his injuries. As he is unable to identify himself at this time, we would greatly appreciate it if you could come down and identify him for us" the voice from the phone said.

This was like music to your ears, you tried not to get your hopes up, but you just knew it was him. It had to be, you could feel it in your heart.

As you stood by the bed of the man, you fell to your knees and wept. He was far skinner, his skin pale and almost translucent, his hair tangled and dirty- but there was no doubt about it, that was your Adam.

"That's him! That's my baby! Oh my god, that's my Adam!" You sobbed, clutching into the police office for support. He looked happy for you.

...

After a few days, Adam woke up. He was by no means in good shape, but he was alert, he was safe, and he was asking for you. He'd had to speak to police before he could have any visitors, but they'd assured him that you had done a great deal to help them find him, and he was touched.

"I thought I was gonna die in that room.."

"You probably would have, if y/n hadn't tried to find you"

"No one else reported me?"

The cop shook his head solemnly.

"Damn... I gotta see her, i- I gotta thank her,  i-"

He rambled like this for a while, until he was assured that you were able to come visit him.

...

"Hey, sugar" Adam smiled cockily, despite how weak he was.

You approached the chair next to his bed and reached down to stroke his face lovingly.

"That didn't sound very ex boyfriend of you" You teased.

"Aw come onnnn, I nearly die and you still don't want me back?" He whined, giving you a playful pout.

You chuckled and kissed his forehead,

"I basically saved your life, don't get greedy"

Adam's eyes narrowed, and he looked uncertain, "wait.. are you saying you actually don't wanna get back together?"

You rolled your eyes and pinched his cheek,

"Of course not dummy, I just like watching you squirm"

Adam mustered all of his strength to lift his arms and place his hands on your cheeks, pulling your face towards his.

"You're such a bitch" he mumbled against your lips with a smile

"You're a bitch" you giggled back.

The playful teasing went on for a while, until you were sat in a love filled silence, just holding eachother's hands. Adam was the first to break the silence.

"I'm a changed man, you know, y/n"

"Huh?"

"While I was in that room, you were all I could think about. I kept thinking about all the times I hurt you and I knew I needed to make it right. I made a vow to myself that i was gonna get out of there, and I was gonna get you back... and I was gonna love you the way you deserve to be loved. I'm gonna do that, y/n. I'm gonna prove I deserve to be with you, even if it takes a lifetime... which it probably will now that you basically saved my life"

"Yeah, it's gonna be pretty difficult to level that playing field" you smiled jokingly.

"I mean it, y/n," Adam said, his voice serious, "I promise I'm going to devote the rest of my life to loving you, it's the least I could do".

And several happy years later, he's kept that promise.

[snek-panini]

I actually didn't mean to let nearly two weeks go by since my last bookbinding post, but somehow time has just slipped away from me till now. For today we have a pretty simple one, though:

This is Postcards from Paris, by ghostrat, a story that I asked to bind way back at the beginning of May. It's a Good Omens human au, involving letters received by an unintended recipient and a long sequence of getting to know one another via writing. I love epistolary stories and wish they were more common both in and out of fandom, and this one's really soft. Like the whole last chapter makes me feel all rosy and warm. Go read it if you haven't, it's wonderful.

More photos and such under the cut!

The cover up there is chocolate lineco book cloth with blue metallic htv. Like with many of my small-sized binds, I tried to not buy anything specific to this one and instead make something coherent from what's already on hand, and that philosophy lent itself well here. The story's about getting to know someone with only the verbal impression of them, not even their voice but just the words they choose and their handwriting, and has a lovely feeling of being overwhelmed by their physicality when you finally meet in person, and I think the stripped-down feeling of the bind fits that theme. It's deceptively simple, and you won't realize how deeply you're in love with the story until after you've read it.

Top view, with blue ribbon bookmark, and slate-blue plain cardstock endpapers. I'm pleasantly surprised by how well all the blues match, considering the htv was bought for another project, the endpapers were bought in a multi-pack for another different project, and the ribbon probably was cut from the shoulder of a fancy shirt. I really would have liked to do custom blue-and-brown end bands, but at barely 80 pages the book's too short for that so it's got premade ones in black and white. The front hinge wouldn't behave when I cased it, so it's got that weird wiggly part and I don't know why. I've used this cardstock for endpapers before and never had that issue, so it's a bit of a mystery.

Interior photos. The stripped-down, simple philosophy persists. About the only theming I did was to choose a handwriting font for the larger text, which seemed appropriate for a story told in postcards.

Random interior of typeset. This thing has so many scene breaks, my god. I sincerely thought about picking two handwriting fonts and putting all the postcards in those. They would have been opposing ones so you could tell who was writing without the scene break lines, but it was too difficult to read at this font size and looked kind of messy, so I didn't. I always size down the font a little for quartos, because the full-size one I use for folios looks weird on a half-size page, but this is the only time I've found that decision working against me.

And that's that! As always, I hope I did the story justice with this bind. The designs feel right when I make them, and I hope others agree. I've still got two more books to post from this late spring batch, so those'll be up over the next week or two.

[justlikeheavenfest]

register now for access to passes, on sale this friday at 11am PT. May awaits with arms outstretched. 🫶 $49.99 down payment plans available. www.justlikeheavenfest.com

[moonyasnow]

🕯️✨~ HAPPY LUCIA ~✨🕯️

So if you didn't know, today, December 13th, is a Swedish holiday called 'Lucia'. It's dedicated to a saint, here known as Saint Lucia/Sankta Lucia, but in other parts of the world she's more well-known as Saint Lucy.

Christmas in general (called 'Jul' in Swedish, pronounced like 'Yule' just with less emphasis on the L sound) is quite a big deal here in Sweden. I've always joked that's because with how harsh and cold and dark the winters can be, people needed SOMETHING to look forward to. And Lucia is one example of that!

The general theme is that one person will be chosen to play Lucia, and then others are chosen for the other roles in the 'Lucia Train' as it's called, and those people will all practice songs which they'll then sing as they walk in procession to a pre-decided place, where they'll then stand and sing the rest of the songs.

The tradition started in the more Western parts of Sweden in the 1800s, with one of the very earliest Lucia celebrations dating to the year 1764 in a place a bit outside of a city known as 'Skövde'.

At first, when most people in Sweden were still farmers with their own farms, it started out as a day where the children of a family would put on the crown of candles you can see being worn by Lisle, here playing the role of 'Lucia' herself, and wake up early to give the parents breakfast in bed.

That's why almost all of them are wearing nightgowns! Since that's what the kids would have been wearing in the morning.

Sweden only adopted the Gregorian calendar in the 1700s, and before that time, still using the Julian calendar, December 13th was the darkest day of the year; in the Gregorian it's December 22nd. And so since a saint, or as we call them here in Sweden 'Helgon', also happened to be venerated on the same day, it just made sense to celebrate the coming of brighter times.

And December 13th was, in the old Norse 'Asa' religion (or 'Asatron'), that is to say the one including the Nordic gods like Odin (Oden) Thor and Loki (Loke), a dangerous night due to the darkness; a night where it was believed evil supernatural forces were out and about. And so All the lit candles in the celebration was also considered a way of protecting against it. And it was a feast day, meaning people got to eat more than usual.

I could go into more detail, but then we'd be here all day ;^^

So here's a link if you want to read more!

And here's one for the Swedish version which does include way more detail on the history, just be aware you'd need to use google's auto-translator, and a few words might not make complete sense.

Parts of the Lucia Train:

The first in the Lucia Train is, of course, Lucia. She can be recognized by the wreath crown adorned with candles that she wears. When kids do it, the crown is fake and made of plastic, with battery-driven lights, but when Lucia is done in Churches, the Lucia still has live candles in her wreath crown.

Lisle's head is not angled in a good way for this; if you were to copy his posture, you'd have candle wax in your hair very quickly.

It's also said the red band around Lucia's waist is supposed to represent her martyrdom.

There's a bit of a stereotype that only the popular girls get picked to be Lucia; kinda like how in places that have proms, only the popular girl becomes Prom Queen. It's basically always someone with long hair, too; usually long blonde hair.

In Swedish, it's pronounced: Loo - see - ah

The three behind Lucia in the train are called 'Tärnor', and it translates to something like 'maids/maidens'. They wear glitter in their hair, at least in the modern day, and instead of red bands they're supposed to wear glitter bands. But I forgot that when making Irina and then just settled on a 'fuck it, we ball' approach.

They carry a single candle in their hand. Sometimes, both Lucia and Tärnor can be at risk of passing out while singing, since the candles and singing both require so much oxygen, and the candles are so close to their mouth and nose.

Victor and Veronica here are dressed as Stjärngossar (1 Stjärngosse, many Stjärngossar) who are supposed to represent the three wise men in the Biblical story of Jesus' birth.

Pronounced: sch - ae - rn - goh - ss - é

And Tomoe and Spike are just dressed as a gingerbread woman (Pepparkaksgumma) and a Tomte

The Tomte was originally a 'väsen' (basically something that exists which is not human and could bring you harm, or be good to you, often depending on how you treated them. Many cultures around the world have similar concepts. A little bit like the Japanese 'yokai', or Celtic 'fae') a little guy who lived somewhere on the farm, like in the roof for example, and helped around the farm. So long as you left a bowl of porridge on the doorstep for him!

Although the modern concept of the 'Tomte' has basically just been mashed together with Santa Claus, and nowadays you say 'Gårdstomte' (something like 'estate tomte') if you're referring to the old variation of Tomte.

Gingerbread people and santa claus are obviously not part of the original Lucia train. But nowadays people like to dress up as them too, especially in kids' Lucia trains.

Pe - ppar - kahks - goo - ma

Or, for the masculine variant: Pe - ppar - kahks - goo - bbé

And Tom - teh

Songs:

Here are just a few of the songs you'd hear a Lucia train sing! My own personal favorites, mostly. But I do have links to the albums I got them from!

Album

Album

The 'Staffan' here, refers to Saint Stephen. A lot of saint have different names in Swedish.

Album

Also please listen to more songs by Tommy Körberg! He is definitely one of my favorite Swedish artists! My favorite song by him ever is 'Stad i Ljus' (city in light)

I really wanted to share this aspect of my culture with people today, because I really love it, and I hope you found it interesting!

And once again, have a happy Lucia! ^^

So, as we say in Swedish...

@another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade

@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad

@gingacat @buttholesparkles @angelwishess @scint1llat3 @gimmeurmoneyagh

[goodluckclove]

Stop Calling Yourself an Aspiring Author: A Proposition

So this post is dedicated to @dreambigdreamz, who asked me a question about when you can stop calling yourself an aspiring author. I had to wait until I could go to sleep to properly answer, because this is going to be a long one, probably. I'm actually doing this before I get to work for the day, because if I could get one goddamned person to stop labeling themselves like this I will feel success for at least three days.

It's a question for new writers - the difference between a writer and an author. If you Google the difference it appears there are two camps:

Writer and author are synonyms

You are only an author if you publish your work/write as a career

This is odd to me already. It's odd and it's immediately gatekeep-y, and it's so fucking surreal that ours is the only artistic field that has this strange distinction. For most other outlets there's still a separation between hobbyist and professional, but that's considered optional as far as I've seen.

Someone who paints or does digital art isn't likely to call themselves a hobbyist artist, even if they aren't doing it as their main source of income. They're just an artist.

If someone practices the piano but isn't actively in a performing band or symphony, they probably don't call themselves an aspiring pianist. They're already doing it. They're a pianist.

I briefly considered cook versus chef, but in that context cook doesn't necessarily mean amateur. There are line cooks and prep cooks and fry cooks and sauté cooks who work professionally. I have the qualifications of a prep or line cook, but I'm currently only cooking meals at home. So does that mean I'm an aspiring cook? That's weird. That doesn't sound right.

So by this point it should be clear that I find it deeply reductive to say that you can only call yourself an author if you've professionally published a work of writing. Maybe that was the case, like, a hundred years ago? Even then, though, one of the definitions of author is a verb describing the act of writing something. You could author a scientific paper. You could author a poem.

It's 2002. The scope of what it means to publish is infinitely vaster than it was in the days of Virginia Woolf or Ernest Hemingway. You could traditionally publish your novel - that's still an option. But you could also indie-publish. Or self-publish. Or produce your own zines or chapbooks and distribute them online. Or send our newsletters on platforms like Substack. Or serialize through websites like Wattpad, Tapas, Itch.io, Patreon, AO3, or even tumblr.

I never called myself an author, but my reasons have nothing to do with whether or not I've been published. I prefer writer, as it has a more versatile feel that tracks whether I'm working on a novel or a poem or a play. But that's beside the point.

Personally, I'm in the first camp. Writer and author are essentially synonymous, only in my eyes an author is someone who writes fiction or nonfiction prose. That's it. Have you done that? Cool. Good job no longer being "aspiring".

If you have the words aspiring author in your life somewhere, there's a good chance you're actively gatekeeping yourself from feeling good enough to do your own thing. Why not replace it with something like the following?

future bestseller

soon-to-be published

new author/writer

growing author/writer

developing author/writer

practicing author/writer

author/writer in training

just author/writer

If someone does the whole "you're a writer? what have you published?" welcome to the conversation that all writers have to tolerate at some point. People are dumb. People typically don't know our industry and how it functions, and that's fine. Just smile and nod and shrug your way out of the conversation.

Yes, there's infighting within writers who should very much be spending less time arguing who gets to wear the nametag and who doesn't. Those people are lame dipshits who should shut the fuck up and get back to writing. If you have a passion for writing, be it fanfic or scripts or short stories or novels, you are my peer and colleague. I might not like the structure or content of your writing - which is fine, by the way - but I would never even say that you aren't a writer holy shit.

I don't care if you use every genre and trope that I find trite and excessive. If you genuinely care about the stories you tell and you still present yourself as an aspiring author, you have a duty to take yourself more seriously than that.

You are a writer. You are an author. This should not be a question.

We need to move past this and start asking ourselves the real questions that come after you answer "Am I an author". Am I a safe author? Am I an advocate and an ally? Am I a supportive member of the community? Am I still learning? Am I a capable author? Am I adaptable? Am I resourceful? Am I determined?

I'm running out of steam here. I need the writers here, especially the younger writers, to move past this stage of their creative careers as quickly as fucking possible. I was there too. I get it. And I'm telling you it's time to soak the label of aspiring so as to loosen the adhesive, gently peel it off, and throw it in the trash forever. Don't even keep it for sentimental reasons to look back on later.

Toss it. Burn it. Eat it. It is not helping you.

Okay that's all. You should close this now and write three hundred words of whatever the fuck you want. I love you.

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO IT AND SAYING THIS, THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY

that song was a true story and real experience about his relationship with his dad.

this was what he said about it:

"It was how I felt when I was 20 years old trying to communicate with my father. And he was a good dad. But he never hugged me or really cared for me. And I really wanted a hug. And when my dad died I started to hug everybody. I wanted to put that down. “Like Father Like Son.” That you hand down basically what you are. Say you want to hand down good values, think about your life, think about how you’re living. You can only hand down your values. Why hand down someone else’s values?"

would recommend that whole book of love album(or even just about his entire discography) if you like meaningful songs with good messages to them. it's like a concept album about experiences in his life, each song is another step of the journey towards psychological fulfillment, he said. it's worth a listen if you(or anyone) have the time.

he is ALL ABOUT showing love and pointing out the lack of love in the world and trying to encourage more of it and making the most out of life. and i'm fully on board with that.

Please, show the people you love that you care about them as often as you can. 💗

Spend time with the people who love you; do nice things with them, go for walks, talk to them, give them something special, anything meaningful. Don’t over complicated life. Don’t let small things stop you from doing what’s important. Show your appreciation and tell those who do everything for you that you appreciate them and that they are special to you because even if nothing negative has happened between you, you may find when it’s too late:

You Won’t Regret The Things You Did. You’ll Regret The Things You Didn’t Do When You Had The Chance.

Never take the time you have for granted. Never take the time you have with someone for granted. Remember that life is really short and we only truly have time for what we mean to do and what matters. Don’t delay what’s important to you.

[bjtch-craft]

"I'm a Rockstar Babe"

Todd Ingram X Bottom Male! Reader

☆ Summary: [Name] reunites with an old high-school friend turned rockstar things take a turn when they restart their old high-school ways.

☆ NSFW

☆Request: Yes or No

☆ Word count: 2,836

☆Genre: Angst to Smut (Kinda)

☆Warnings: Smut, degradation, manipulation (kinda, tbh I just tried making him cocky but rereading it it sounds like bro is manipulating), Bl♡wjobs, slapping, just douchy rockstar things, spitting (he's one of those ppl)

☆Authors note: Dude, I rewatched the movie and reread the novels, and why is Todd so mf fine like WHAT? And why are there no stories about this man? Anyways enjoy!! (P.s this has been in my drafts for like 2 months now and I've never finished editing it for some reason...)

Also look at the comic version of him like WHAT A CUTIE like yeah sure he's arrogant, narcissistic, uncaring, and may or may not be a pathological liar, and a walking red flag but like that red looking a little orange so??? PRAYING SOME OF YALL READ THIS!!

Did this count as being a groupie? No. It's not like I'm some obsessed super fan like Joseph I mean for fucks sake I knew Todd in high school [Name] thought as he lay on the mattress of the cheap motel room waiting for Todd to get out of the shower.

10:15 P.M. - some time earlier

[Name] was shoved and pushed around by the hundreds of thousands of fans who had gathered to watch the band play. The band in question was none other than The Clash at Demonhead. [Name] new one of the members (while technically two if you count Envy but they didn’t know each other. They were more of acquaintances really.) Todd Ingram who he was close friends with. Really close.

He'd given him head a couple of times (and slept with him too) but that didn't mean anything to them (yes it did.) it was what Todd considered a "bro-job" whatever the fuck that was. But that's not important (yes it is) what is important is how quickly their friendship ended after he got with Envy. They tried to keep in touch but after the band blew the absolute fuck up he cut ties with him.

Did it hurt? Yes. A lot. But [Name] didn't let it get to him he still supported Todd even if Todd himself didn't know it. [Name] bought every CD, vinyl, and cassette tape, and got tickets to most shows. He even tried to get backstage passes to rekindle his relationship with Todd but the prices were far out of his price range.

There have been times when for a quick second he'd seen Todd after a show or two and waved to him or said a quick word but he didn't recognize him. Which also hurt. How can you not recognize someone you spent almost TEN YEARS of your life with? But [Name] was determined to catch up with his best friend so after pulling a couple of night shifts and saving up some money he... still didn’t have enough.

10: 50 P.M.

"Todd's so hot!"

"Jesus Envys even hotter in person!"

"Why's that chick got a robotic arm?"

These are just some of the things [Name] heard throughout the event which was on the verge of ending.

12:10 A.M. - Later

The concert was over and [Name] pushed and shoved his way out of the venue and quickly rushed towards the back of the building looking for the band.

"Come on please don't tell me I missed them!"

His shoes thudded against the gravel, and as he rounded the corner a gate came into view.

"No. No, no, no, no!"

The gate door was slid open. How safe right?

"Envy? Do you wanna get a bite to eat or something?"

[Name] stopped for a moment as he saw Todd standing there his guitar case in hand talking to Envy. He took a deep breath and stepped through the gates. Fuck?

"T-todd?"

Todd turned to look at him a look of shock and anger upon his face.

"Who the hell let you in" Todd asked as he stepped closer to [Name] his voice coming off as aggressive as his eyes and hair started to glow.

"N-no one the gate was open."

"So you just snuck in?"

"I'm [Name], [First name], [Last name] we went to high school together. Remember?"

Todd's eyes and hair stopped glowing as his hair drifted back down in front of his face.

"You're kidding?!"

Todd dropped his guitar case and ran up to [Name] his tough guy rockstar persona shedding completely. He threw his arms around [Name] and pulled him into his chest. [Name] could feel the heat rising to two places as his face was smushed into Todd's rather large pecs.

"Todd you're squishing me..." [Name] said his voice muffled.

"Sorry!" He pulled away. "Jesus it's been a long time since we've seen each other... I'm a Rockstar!"

"I can see that!"

"Todd, what the fuck is going on," Envy asked?

Todd turned to look at them wrapping his arm around [Name's] waist. "This is [Name] from high school! He's my best friend remember?"

"While to me he looks like a fucking groupie! Let's go" Envy replied.

"I'm not a groupie..."

"Do you think he can come back to the motel with us?"

"No."

"Find some other cheap motel to fuck in," The Bionic arm bitch said.

"He's not a groupie and we're not gonna fuck! He's my friend and I wanna catch up with him!"

"Find. Another. Motel." Envy said the tone of her voice showed her annoyance more than anything.

12:30 A.M.

And they did find a cheap motel in an extremely unsafe part of town. Fits the stereotype, huh? A rockstar takes one of his fans to a cheap rundown-looking motel just to get it in.

[Name] once again was hugging Todd but this time was looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry for ghosting you [Name]."

"It's fine."

Todd's hands traveled down [Name's] back and reached his ass and groped it firmly, making [Name] let out an involuntary yelp. He pushed Todd off of him, causing the blonde boy to let out a laugh.

"What's the matter [Name] just like old times!"

"Todd aren't you dating Envy or something?"

He shifted his weight on his feet annoyingly.

"I'm a Rockstar babe we don't date," Todd said cockily.

"Oh?"

"I'm gonna hop in the shower. I know I reek of sweat... care to join me?"

"Smooth Todd.... real smooth."

He winked at [Name] and waltzed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. After a minute or two he heard the shower go on.

Did this count as being a groupie? No. It's not like I'm some obsessed super fan like Joseph I mean for fucks sake I knew Todd in high school [Name] thought as he lay on the mattress of the cheap motel room waiting for Todd to get out of the shower.

"Do I wanna do this... again?"

The first time [Name] and Todd ever did anything together was on his eighteenth birthday. They were both unbelievably drunk, and both were bored lying on Todd's bed in silence. One of them now and then would say something, and they would have a short conversation.

"H-heyyy~ [Name] can I ask you for a favor," Todd asked his words coming out slurred.

"Yeah- hic! What'sss ~'s up?"

"Do you think you could um... s-suck me off?"

"Why?"

"Well, I'm one drunk! And two horny as fuck~! So can you?"

"You know what fuck it! You are my best friend!"

[Name] slid his basketball shorts off and then his boxers and grabbed at his length.

"I've never done this before so um... bear with me~."

Todd nodded his head a goofy grin on his face. "Do it as if someone's doing yours."

[Name] took him into his mouth slowly going down inch by inch the girth was almost too much to handle. Almost.

But that was years ago. They were two dumb eighteen-year-olds who were just helping each other out. But [Name] didn't feel that way anymore... but reminiscing on their old days made [Name] slowly begin to get hard in the shorts Todd had given him.

[Name] rubbed himself through the fabric and pushed down on it, making him release a soft moan. He needed Todd he didn't realize how badly he did until right then and there. The door opened to the bathroom, and [Name] quickly through the blanket over his lap.

Todd walked out with just a towel around his waist, his bulge catching [Names] eye as well as his body, which was still wet and glistened in the light.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting another pair of boxers, I forgot to bring them into the shower..." Todd looked at [Name] and noticed the tent that was forming underneath the blanket. "Aw, are you happy to see me like this again, baby?"

"What! No!"

"Come on..." He said huskily. The cockiness was back. "I heard you moan... were you thinking of the times I fucked you? The times you begged me to fill you up? The times I came on that pretty face of yours?"

[Name] could feel his cock growing harder with each question.

"N-no" [Name] whimpered out.

Todd walked to the side of the bed grabbed [Name's] hand and placed it on his groin.

"You miss my fat cock don't you," He asked his voice sounding oddly humiliating.

"I don't have to say anything."

Todd started to move his hips grinding his bulge against the palm of [Names] hand.

"Todd we can't... you have a girlfriend."

"I told you we rockstars don't really - truly date, and if anything, it's just another bro-job, remember?"

[Name] pulled his hand away and sat up and using both hands opened Todd's towel up causing his cock to pop out and slap against his happy trail.

"Fuck~," [Name] whispered out.

[Name] reached out and pumped his cock twice.

"Yeah that's it~ I know you fucking missed it haven't you?"

[Name] let go of Todd's cock and adjusted his position so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Todd backed up a little.

"Please don't like- hurt me that much. Please?"

Todd chuckled and ran his hand through his wet hair.

"You sweet dumb thing, you know I can't promise that."

[Name] grabbed Todd's cock once more and spat on it and stroked him off spreading the saliva over his cock.

"I haven't done this in a long time... so I'm a little rusty."

Todd smiled down at him. The grin was a mixture of amusement and humiliation.

[Name] placed the tip on his tongue and licked it gently before wrapping his lips around it and slowly going down on it.

[Name] couldn't lie he truly did miss this. Not only did he enjoy it, but it honestly made them closer as friends.

[Name] gagged on the base as he looked up at Todd with tearful eyes.

"Aww you look so cute with my big cock in your mouth," Todd said softly his voice coated in lust as he gently patted [Name's] cheek.

[Name] began to slowly come off his cock before Todd placed a hand on the back of his skull and slammed him back down causing him to gag and for drool to pour out of the sides of his mouth.

"Mmm-hmm-agh." [Name] groaned out.

Todd pulled his cock out of the boy's mouth and slapped it on either side of the guy's cheek.

"You took it so well [Name]~."

[Name] looked up at Todd with innocent eyes, his tongue sticking out a little as he gasped for air.

"Jesus you look so fucking gorgeous."

"I-I think you bruised the back of my throat!"

Todd grabs [Names] chin as he angles his head straight aligning his cock with [Names] lips.

Todd spat on his cock (and on [Names] face) and slammed it down [Names] throat before pulling out. [Name] stuck out his tongue and licked a stripe down his cock.

"You're such a fucking slut baby. I bet you've been craving my cock since you heard about our band haven't you?"

[Name] nodded his head embarrassingly. Todd placed a hand on the back of [Names] head and leaned in, planting a kiss on his lips as his hands traveled down his body. His hands reached the bottom of the boy's shirt and began to pull it up over his head, breaking the kiss in the process.

Todd pushes [Name] down onto the bed by his chest and crawls on top of him, attacking his neck, causing [name] to let out a soft moan. Todd kisses down his neck while unbuckling [Names] belt and gently pulls them off along with his boxers.

"I don't reckon you have a condom do you?"

"I have one in my wallet in my left pocket," [Name] says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Todd grabs [Names] jeans off the floor and pulls out the condom from the wallet before discarding them back onto the floor.

Todd rips the wrapping of the condom off with his teeth and slides the rubber on. He places [Bames] legs on his shoulders and lines himself up at his entrance.

[Name] squeezes his eyes shut as Todd pushes himself into him. A sudden wave of pain and pleasure washes over him, causing him to grab onto the sheets, twisting them in his hands. A soft whimper escapes his lips as Todd continues to push deeper into him.

"Shit- Todd, you're so fucking- ngh~ big!" [Name] whimpered out, causing Todd to look down at him with a cocky grin.

Todd had pushed himself into the other boy and slowly began to pull back out, only to slam back into him, which earned him a low groan.

"Does that feel good?"

[Name] nodded his head and let out a whimper. Todd began to rock his hips in and out of him, the tip occasionally brushing against his prostate. His thirst got faster and quicker he reached down and grabbed [Name's] hands and placed them above his head.

Todd began pounding into [Name]. The sound of skin against skin filled the room as well as screams of pleasure from both boys.

"Ugh~ F-fuck! You're going to har-!" [Name] wasn't able to finish his sentence as Todd delivered a gentle (but still hard) slap across his face.

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do!" Todd growled out.

[Names] cock twitched as pre-cum drizzled down his cock causing a moan to escape from his lips.

"Don't tell me you're into this shit you slut?"

"S-s-shut up Todd~"

Todd smirked and began rocking his hips.

"How bad do you want it?"

"W-what?" [Name] stuttered.

"I can pull out right now and leave and not let you finish you."

"Please don't~ I'll do anything!"

"Then admit it.'

"What?"

"Admit you're a filthy whore" Todd said his voice thick with lust.

"I'm not going to- ah~!"

Todd pulled out of [Name] leaving him feeling empty and somehow even more fucking desperate.

"Todd please" [Name] begged.

"Then say it."

"I-I’m a whore okay? Is that what you want to hear from me? I'm a fucking slut for you okay?!"

Todd looked down at [Name] with a cocky grin.

"Good boy."

Todd leaned back over [Name] and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pushing himself back into him. He wrapped his hand around [Name's] throat and began pounding into him. The sounds of skin against skin filled the room once again.

Todd raised his hand and brought it across [Names] face with enough power to cause a sting of pain leading [Name] to let out a dry moan.

"I can't believe your into this shit!" Todd said with a cheesy grin.

"Shut up!" The boy underneath him whined out.

Todd smirked and removed his hand from [Names] neck and grabbed him by the waist and slowed his thrusts.

"What are you- agh~!"

Todd pulled [Name] into him driving his cock deeper into him pushing past his prostate. [Names] jaw dropped as the sudden feeling causing a high pitched moan to erupt from his throat. Todd took this opportunity and grabbed his jaw holding it open and dipped his thumb into his mouth.

"Don't close your mouth got that?"

[Name] replied with a whimper as Todd's thurst became annoyingly slow as a string of spit slowly began to fall from his lips and landed in [Names] mouth.

[Named] closed his mouth after Todd gave him a look that practically yelled at him, too. Todd's slow thrust became faster and faster. Todd wrapped his hand around [Name's] dick and began jerking him off as [Name] placed his palm at the back of Todd's head.

"I'm so close!" Todd groaned out as his rhythm began to go out of sync.

His movements became harder and harder as he felt himself getting closer and closer to finishing.

"W-where- fuck~ where do you want it?" He moaned out.

"On me..."

Todd placed a hand behind [Names] head as his thurst became sloppy he spat once again at [Name] the salvia covering his face before pulling out and jerking himself off.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

With one final moan ropes of cum erupted from his cock covering [Names] body in white ropes. Todd pumped [Name's] cock for a minute before he came their cum mixing on his stomach. Todd scooped up some of his cum off of the boy's body with his index finger and popped it into [Names] mouth.

"How's it taste?"

"Salty... can you get me a towel?"

1:35 AM

[Name] lay on the cheap hotel's mattress, his head on Todd's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Hey, have you ever thought of being a roadie?'

"A what?"

"A roadie helps the band set up... you could be one for us so we could keep in touch and..." He wrapped his hand around [Names] body and groped his ass "Have some more time to ourselves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS MAN IS SO FINE ARGH. I NEED HIM SO BAD LIKE I WANT HIM TO FULLY REARRANGE MY INSIDES.

Authors note!!

Again, sorry for the break. School is still once again kicking my ass :) I do plan on writing more over Christmas break, but I do have like half-written stories in my drafts, so here are some of them. (Some of them have titles, but they are to be determined, so kill me or wtv) .

Darry Jenner x Male reader (Fluff)

Miguel Ohara x Male reader (Smut)

Chad Meeks x Male reader (TBD)

Simon Kalivoda x Male reader (Fluff)

[moonfoxgazer]

It could be considered sad, perhaps, how things must happen for things to continue on the correct path, consider how it could be comparable to that of the work of a ranch-hand as they guide the herd towards the best pastures. Occasionally they must make a difficult decision which may or may not require a sacrifice, some of the herd may not make it, but ultimately it is for the best possible outcome for the whole.

*insert that one song with tears falling down at the party and being the saddest baby in the room* I've been playing with the whole cowboy Danny Phantom idea for awhile now. If ya'll are curious about designs and meaning feel free to read below. Don't fret, I have more cowboy stuff stewing in the stock pot, but the potatoes aren't soft enough yet so ya'll have to wait a bit more.

For Danno So design choices are taking Southwestern outfitting and combining it a little with the Ghost King stuff too, such as the Crown of Fire becoming akin to a hat band (which nicer hat bands and sometimes feathers are often earned within ranch-hand and rodeo cultures) and then the Ring of Rage becomes the Bolo of Rage, heh. And naturally the kiddo's insignia becomes a belt buckle because those are earned for sure and usually goes with the outfit. Now for CW

I based a lot of his design off more outrider/ outlaw designs while keeping the feeling of his original outfit. So his cloak remained but shorter and a little more ragged, which many travelers back then would have some sort of cloak or coat, depending on region, money and circumstance, fighters usually went with looser clothing so it was easier to move and access weapons. Of course you have the bandolier, which was used mostly to carry more ammo. The rifle CW is carrying is loosely based off a Winchester Model 1873 Smoothbore Rifle, which was a common rifle type in the late 1800s. Of course I had to reference the medallions with an engraving in the butt of the rifle, which carvings and decorations on firearms were common during the time, with many carving the decorations themselves during downtime, and well, we know how CW is about his branding. The last bit that really could stand out is his belt buckle, which is of course decorative and based off Dine Silver and Turquoise jewelry with a common blossom pattern in the center. Being from the southwest, there's a lot of things about life out here, both in the past and present that require sacrifice and that's something that resonates a lot with DP honestly. It's a theme I like playing with a bit when it comes to the idea of the southwest. It's why Danny looks melancholy and withdrawn here and CW in his typical aloof nature is more, neutral. If ya'll read through all this, congrats, you didn't get caught in a cactus, ya'll are awesome.

[thegreatmatpi]

since i got into bandori i've been thinking a lot about the instruments that the girls use, especially the drummers, and one thing that always kinda felt off is that maya has an acoustic kit in canon but pasupare plays a bunch of songs with electronic drum sounds. and i don't know why it took me 5 years to consider the fact that she could have turned the acoustic kit into an electric one.

so most of the bandori drummers have very high end kits. notably ako and masuki, but saya's, tomoe's, tsukushi's, taki's, and nyamu's kits are all at the upper echelon of their respective brands. kanon and maya are the only two that have tama kits, which are already known for being among the more affordable brands, but their kits are the only ones that don't break the $1000 mark. for kanon this makes sense, kind of. she had bought the drum set just to try it out, and the imperialstar from tama is the perfect beginner kit. tama sells it as a complete set with cymbals, hardware, and accessories rather than just the drums. since kokoro stopped her from returning it, it makes sense that she played with hello happy world using that kit. now this also raises the question of why the tsurumaki family didn't upgrade it while they also bought kaoru that guitar, but my best guess is she got nicer cymbals and drumheads, as well as proper maintenance for that kit, because it still is a good sounding kit if you take care of it.

anyway getting back to maya's kit, it is a little strange how the biggest gearhead has a relatively cheap kit. it's nicer than kanon's for sure, but it's by no means one of their flagship kits or even one that's still on the market. and then it hit me. she actually turned her drum kit into an electric kit. first let's talk about how electric kits work. it's all a series of pads connected to a module that detects when a certain pad is hit and plays the correct sound either to your headphones or some other output like a speaker or recording interface. each pad has a trigger inside it that detects when the pad has been hit. and for a lot of higher end electronic kits that look like acoustic kits, like the higher end roland and alesis kits, these triggers are meant to mimic the response of an actual drum. you can also buy the triggers on their own, which leads me to believe that's how maya has her kit set up.

there are a few different kinds of triggers that you can use, but you can probably characterize them best by external and internal. external drum triggers you can just slap onto any drum and plug it into a module. it's a common practice especially with kick drums if you want to change the sound of the drums in the middle of a set without going through the motions of changing a drumhead or a pedal. you even see these in the bandori live performances: i know that ako's and masking's kit both use them, and that gives me enough reason to believe that the rest of the live bands do it too. but there's a limitation to this. these triggers can really only detect when the drum is hit and how hard it's been hit, leaving out the crucial detail of where the drum was hit. with kick drums, the pedal is hitting the exact same spot every time, so this isn't an issue. however, if you want to do this for your whole drum set, you need something else.

this is where those internal triggers come into play. instead of just putting these on a drum, you need to install these underneath the drum head, and they're meant for playing purely electronically, so you typically use a quiet mesh head rather than the typical mylar head. there are internal triggers that operate exactly like the external ones, but there are also fancier ones that instead of sensing the impacts from the edge of the drumhead, sense them from the middle of the head. this allows the sensor to also relay information regarding the location of the hit, which allows the module to modify the sound even further, giving a much more realistic feel.

anyway thank you for listening to me ramble on about bandori instruments for much longer than i had intended, and i would love to hear any instrument headcanons y'all have!!

[3600frames]

Would you also consider looking over beika tweets for any new insights or maybe things the translation looks over?

[edit: made an easier-to-read version of my edits here]

ok this started getting MUCH longer than i expected so i'll put everything but the first one under the cut.

[...]and then after a little while, he told me that he had debuted with a band[...]

When I first read this and checked the JP text it seemed right but I’d also been looking for as many JP reactions to the booklet as I could possibly find and not a single one brought up anything akin to that… so checking the specific phrasing in the JP again

しばらくしてバンドデビューしたからっていうんで

The literal information being communicated being “band debut-did”, ending with a quoting particle (って) and “to say” (いう). “って言う” being a way of directly quoting a statement... when written in using the 言 kanji. When spelled only in hiragana (っていう), it can gain an alternate meaning of quoting hearsay (explained here, using the more formal と form). So with this definition, it’d be more like

[...]and then some time later, I heard about how he’d debuted with a band[...]

There’s a part of me that wondered if it’s supposed to be ambiguous, but there’s the fact I haven’t seen a single native speaker read it like that, and how it seems you only use the 言 for something Actually Said, and the fuller tweet in context:

ハイカラ行くって言いだして行って、しばらくしてバンドデビューしたからっていうんで

言 IS used for the “I’m going to Inkopolis” statement, which makes that seem like a direct quote, contrasting with the “[the band debut]” being something only heard about...I think.

オマージュじゃんてよく言われるけど、あんたらの曲ならこれぐらいカッコよくできますけど？ていうかこっちのほうが300倍よくね？って言ってるだけで、オマージュとかそういうのじゃねーから

Well, people often say it's a homage to their song, but any of you guys would be able to make a song that's just as cool. I mean our song is this one 300 times better, right? Just wanted to make it clear that we're not trying to pay homage to it or anything like that.

→ I get a lot of people thinking it’s an homage, but just for the record, I was only trying to express, like “If it’s you lots’ “music” we’re talking about, then obviously we could make it SO much cooler, y’know. I mean like, our version is 300 times better, right?”. That’s all. It wasn’t meant as a damn homage.

Okay I assume the “あんたらの曲なら” is what got interpreted as “any of you guys would be able to[...]” but I absolutely think it’s “snidely referring to the original song in a way that implies it has much room for improvement”. Also wanted to emphasize the “じゃねーから” at the end.

今のハイカラはスカしすぎてると思う。ただ、ちょっと昔だけど、フロムボトムは面白いかな。

I think the Inkopolis scene is too pretentious, but Bottom Feeders are pretty cool even though it's been a while since I've listened to them.

→ I think the Inkopolis scene has become way too pretentious. However, I know they’re kinda old news now, but those Bottom Feeder guys are pretty cool.

The JP had the interesting specification of that “pretentious” comment being made about the Inkopolis of now (今のハイカラ). Also, the ちょっと(a bit) 昔 comment was very much directed at Bottom Feeders, which on the JP side was very much seen as an audacious way to refer to presumably still-active artists. (...and that immediately being followed with courting a collab with someone of Finn’s temperament, the response was mostly along the lines of “oh you’re gonna get your ass whooped for that.”)

C-sideで、きかせてやりたいんだよ。バンカラだろうがハイカラだろうが、このごちゃまぜの時代に鳴り響く、ほんとにピュアな音

I'd like to play songs for everyone. No matter if they're from the Splatlands or Inkopolis, I want to create really fresh tunes that make people feel at home in this era of chaos.

→I want to play along with the rest of C-Side so you all can hear it. This truly pure sound that'll reverberate throughout this era of chaos, no matter whether it's the Splatlands or Inkopolis.

pure sound(?).

Fun JP-specific quirks that may give insights:

1) The overall speech patterns are very informal/colloquial (even more so while drunk), except for the “Now or Never is a C-Side original” statement which suddenly ends with the formal sentence ender です/desu.

Now or NeverはC-Sideのオリジナルです。 

2) I said in an earlier post that Beika uses ore in kanji which is true but specifically during the drunk-tweeting they use it in hiragana for it instead (おれ同中だから)... which doesn’t seem intentional on their part on both a consistency level and hiragana-ore being this kinda paradoxical thing where softness of using hiragana clashes with the tougher image of ore. So what I think happened is that they drunkenly didn’t bother/forgot to hit the input that turns it into kanji. Very specific I know.

3) The word they use to collectively refer to Squid Squad is 連中(renchuu) which is a very fun word where the connotations drastically change depending on who you’re using it for (very derogatory here).

4) I get why this didn’t get TL’d because both the dialogue and song name being the same syllabary lessens the impact, but it’s very funny to be so smug about typing out the whole song name after not remembering (or pretending not to) their band name multiple times…

じゃなんで連中のSplattack（合ってる？笑をC-Sideでカバーしたの、

…while also forgetting to close the bracket.

So, you’re probably wondering why we covered that Splattack (did I get it in one? LMAO song of theirs.

(also you forgot the exclamation mark so no you didn’t)

5) Definitely a case of “this works more naturally in JP”:

Oh, their music? Well, I guess it's not as bad as it used to be.

The ? in the JP doesn’t explicitly end the sentence in the JP (あいつらの音？は前よりマシ) so it could also be read with the connotation of:

Oh, well, I guess their music(?) isn’t as bad as it used to be.

Whatever That Means. Also the TL of it is good I just wanted to mention the “compliment” used is マシ, which has the implication of the less bad out of two undesirable options lol.

[tricoufamily]

i come to you as an absent mutual to get your top of 2024 media! movies, shows, books, you name it! biggest flops/what surprised you? need to know it all! assuming the penguin is up there (condolences about the batman 2 postponement. keeping you in my thoughts..)

hello!!!!! and happy belated birthday!!!!!!!!! <3333

2024 was the craziest year of my life (in a good way (mostly)) do i even know what happened in 2024 vs what happened 10 years ago because that's how long it felt let's find out

(yes the batman 2 postponement i am in mourning.....they want me gone)

yes OF COURSE we have to talk about the penguin can i talk about the penguin please i've been dying to talk about the penguin all day. no but it turned out so much better than i thought it was going to omg i was getting nervous about it, considering matt reeves wasn't super involved, and some of the trailers were edited really badly (seriously who was in charge of those....). if that script had been bad it would have been the end for me.....but it was great so we've never been more back!!!! even though the finale left me feeling like shit for like 15 hours after (it was good......but......wow......ok........)

i saw the tv glow. i literally had to go on an hour long walk outside at midnight after i watched that movie. that's all i have to say.

well no actually one thing to say let's throw in the soundtrack too for good measure claw machine and taper my beloved

big surprise in french exit by patrick dewitt, my favorite book i read in 2024!!! not my usual type of book at all like i love pain and misery, what do you mean my favorite book of the year was funny??? still working through all of his other books (someone tell me to stop buying new books though....)

late entry with the band telever because they are insanely underrated. anyone who likes shoegaze you GOTTA listen to them this is my favorite song by them please it only has 6000 streams you'll like it i swear

also listen i know everyone liked nosferatu. the lighthouse is my third favorite movie of all time. and nosferatu (1922) is my second favorite movie of all time. it did not do it for me. i'll never be happy again

i DID get to see the 1922 nosferatu in theaters for the first time in october though and that was magical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but the actual biggest flop of the year was me months january to may

but the biggest comeback of the year was me months june to december let's go boys

[burberrycanary]

For the fic commentary game...I want to ask about so many lines, but ok. I've narrowed it down to three from Lost Vocabularies..., so you can pick—I'd be so interested to get your author's commentary on any (or all) of them! 💛

He will never forget nine months of stock prices from 1950.

(this is the one I'm probably least likely to get an answer to, which is fine, but I'm so very curious about what Steve did during those months in the past, and a girl's gotta try! 😜)

2. But he sure as hell doesn’t want them back, not so long as Bucky is willing to carry them, whatever they mean to him now—though Steve doesn’t like to think how Bucky must have found them and when.

(Basically, I just like to make myself sad about Bucky Barnes, so hey: talk to me about the dog tags!)

3.

“Why were you always signed up for something? You already took more vocational classes than about anybody.”

[…]

“Trying to impress my dad,” Bucky admits on a slow breath out. “But not in the way he wanted. ‘One of the laborin’ Barnes with a proper education,’ he liked to say. ‘Bastards won’t know what hit ‘em.’ He wanted me to live out that better American life he was chasing. Be respectable.” Bucky gives a faint dry laugh. “Sorry Pops.”

(I know this is more than one sentence...but I'm just endlessly fascinated by Bucky's (and Steve's) pre-war life and especially Bucky's relationship with his parents and how he feels about them now, after everything. So, if you'd be willing to elaborate on that snippet up there (I'm particularly intrigued by But not in the way he wanted), I'd be ecstatic!

(📦&🧼&◼&⬜-🔪)

2. But he sure as hell doesn’t want them back, not so long as Bucky is willing to carry them, whatever they mean to him now—though Steve doesn’t like to think how Bucky must have found them and when.

Crying into our beers over Bucky Barnes should be the name of our band. 😭🍻😭

The dog tags were such a distinctive element in TFATWS that I knew I wanted to use them in this post-Endgame fix-it series that ended up sprawling out to a bigger scope than I originally intended. But the first question from canon to consider is: whose dog tags are they, anyway?

In the surgery flashback from CATWS, we see that Bucky is no longer wearing his dog tags, which means they were taken away by Hydra. And this makes sense since Hydra was starting the process of completely stripping away Bucky’s identity. What Hydra does with Bucky’s dog tags depends on what kind of organization Hydra is, culturally and administratively. While you could write any number of stories here, especially since Bucky, as a specific known recovered asset, isn’t what the Japanese scientists in Unit 731 called “maruta” (“wooden logs”) or what the CIA-run black sites in West Germany under Project Bluebird called “expendables,” you could argue that Zola might keep Bucky’s dog tags for any number of reasons: spite, gloating, pride, or a perverse attachment to his greatest success. But the most rational course of action would be to destroy anything that could identify Bucky as a well-known American soldier—because this era of American history shows you could get away with not just murder but crimes against humanity as long as you played by certain bureaucratic rules. And this is the organization that Peggy Carter built, canonically, and the era that Steve returns to in Endgame—"the dark and bloody heart of the twentieth century [that] beat and maimed all the unsteadiness out of Bucky’s hands long ago." 

I’d argue these aren’t the dog tags that we see Steve wearing when he wakes up in the fake recovery room, which would have been replaced as part of the attempted deception, but instead the ones that he was wearing when he went into the ice, which would’ve been returned once the jig was up: 

Hanging around Bucky’s neck on a bright beaded chain are tarnished dog tags with the raised text turned, here and there, the pale green of copper eaten away by time.

I’ll admit I did look up the composition of WWII dog tags and scanned through some research papers on the corrosion levels in metal equipment used in the Arctic before deciding that I could just take a little literary license here and have Steve’s old dog tags be thematically “tarnished,” which in the text is explicitly tied to the theme of things being transformed over time, but the word also carries the connotation of something that’s sullied. For the dog tags, both meanings hold. 

My backstory headcanon is that Sam, who was the executor of Steve’s will and his chosen next of kin, invited Bucky to go through Steve’s surprisingly few personal effects for anything he wanted to keep before Sam donated the rest to museums. All Bucky took was the last, unfinished, mostly empty, little notebook and Steve’s old dog tags, which he restrung on a new chain. That’s it. That’s what Bucky is left with as a stranger in this strange land of the present. 

In the first glimpse Steve gets near the end of Still Left with the River, he interprets Bucky wearing his old dog tags as indicating that Bucky never stopped caring about him, which is true—Bucky kept on caring a whole hell of a lot. This is Steve’s “it taught me to hope” moment in the text that helps push him toward being honest with Bucky about how he feels after several decades of alternating between pining and grieving, pining and grieving. How many times has the worst already happened between them?

There is always an end to the line where the same big black pit is waiting. And eventually Bucky won’t crawl back out.

But the dog tags are deliberately ambiguous as a symbol, since they equally represent the grief that we see Bucky struggle with in TFATWS. They are Bucky’s chosen gesture of mourning when Steve buries himself in the past. It’s telling that even after Steve returns, Bucky doesn’t take the dog tags off or offer to give them back to Steve again. Whatever they mean, they’re Bucky’s now. And Bucky on some level continues to mourn a faith between them—ineffable and up to that point mutually committed to despite the worst the world could do—that Steve broke when he decided to go back to the past and which returning doesn’t unbreak. Because that’s the problem: “Time only moves in one direction.”

(“There’s a creepy stone somewhere that says otherwise.”

“Exactly.”)

Significantly, over and over, these fraught identification tags are described as occupying the space between Steve and Bucky:

Tipping Steve’s chin up with his thumb, Bucky kisses the blazes out of him while the old dog tags swing a little on their glinting new chain in the space between them.

How Steve left is still very much between them throughout this whole series. 

The scene where the dog tags are revealed as Steve’s is significant:

...Steve’s old dog tags swinging in the space between their bodies; then the warm tender weight of Bucky’s forehead, pressed just off-center against his chest, overlapping with the light touch of metal and the pooling chain; [...] Bucky pressed close, and his face hidden.

The contrary actions of Bucky pressing close but still hiding is how Bucky has chosen to deal with the complicated emotional situation Steve has put him in—the combination of intimacy and distance that shades through most of this series. Bucky is trying to both protect himself and give Steve a good-faith chance to do better. Bucky’s strength and generosity win out in the end, because that’s who Bucky is at heart: the bigger person in a way that has nothing to do with being tall or strong or healthy. But part of the problem of any post-Endgame fix-it is that no one fight or confession or “being shoved in a closet together” shortcut could solve these emotional sticking points. 

Steve really did that. Whatever his reasons or motivations, which this series digs into a lot in the subtext, in the moment Steve meant it. And there’s no way to undo the choices that have been made, not without recourse to an ethically flawed concept that’s the opposite of living: because trying to undo past losses is exactly what Endgame gets wrong by attempting.

Fuck Endgame: the only way out is through. And by “through” I don’t mean Steve passively playing white-picket-fence house with Peggy through the ugly back half of the 20th century and then getting some sort of science-fiction second chance for a life with Bucky, once all that’s over. That’s doubling down on the flawed ethics of Endgame.

Life is a process of making choices, over and over. And living with the consequences. How you live with them is another ethical choice you get to make, over and over. That’s the constant and inescapable ethical action inherent in being alive.

This series is deliberately full of minor characters with losses just as profound as Steve’s: loved ones gone, former ways of life lost, all the small gathered-together pieces that we each painstakingly build into a life vanishing, whether bit by bit or calamitously all at once:

Her face lights up. “Thanks, I make them myself. I’m thinking of going to fashion school, maybe. Textile design. I’ve already died—fuck being scared, right?”

Between war, the Blip and the Return, she has lost every member of what was once a huge family. And life just keeps going on.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Fuck being scared.”

Or:

“Been walking since Greenwood Cemetery. I can’t get to where any of my people are buried so you know what I’ve decided?”

Steve gives a hum, meaning what’s that?  

“I’ve decided to collectivize. Every grave on earth with the first name George is my boy’s. I’ve claimed every Elizabeth—in all forms—and Rachael, Robert and Joseph. Never cared for my husband’s people so I don’t bother with them. But I’ve got some favorites down in Greenwood picked out for my boy. ”

“I’m sorry for your losses,” Steve says, quiet, and thinking briefly of his own most recent dead. He doesn’t add, I know what it’s like to let grief triumph over reality. “So you visit.”

“Every day that I can. Lots of graveyards in this city. But Greenwood is nice. All the flowers and so forth.”

This is a story about grief.

Steve is trusted with great power to help set right wrongs the Avengers did during Endgame, setting all these other timelines on roads to destruction to save their own. And in the face of the temptation of that great fantastical power: the possibility of easy facile answers to unsolvably hard problems about change and loss so many people equally have to confront and hurt over and struggle with—all the time, right now, forever, constantly—Steve Rogers falters:

Preemptive—that idea is never going to seem right to him. But isn’t that what he’d tried to do when he’d stayed in the past? Get the preemptive good life by side-stepping the possibility of more loss? Because, for him at least, one way or another everything that mattered would have already happened.

And still the same old story at the bottom of whatever idealized notions got papered over top: trading other people’s lives for your own security.

He’ll never know whether, if his plan had worked, he would have stayed in the past for good.

And now he’s got to live with that.

If the dog tags in this story stand for anything, it’s living with the consequences.

You can make mistakes. We all do, individually and collectively. But there’s no undoing the past—not even in the MCU’s confused theory of the multiverse. All you can try is to do better: to make right what’s been put wrong as much as you can; or find things that are good and help them be better for more people.

There are deliberately four apologies offered in Lost Vocabularies: two from Bucky and two from Steve. But this is the climactic and closing apology that echoes the same language used to introduce the dog tags into the narrative: 

Pushing Bucky back, he touches the tarnished dog tags where the raised text has turned, here and there, the pale green of copper eaten away by time.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, meaning a whole lot.

Bucky’s response, “We got here,” deliberately sidesteps the question of forgiveness and is designed to be read in two ways. The first reading challenges the relative significance of the past—we reached here however that happened—while the second rejects the past more completely: all we actually ever have is right now.

The thing is, Steve has been angry his whole life and he’s trying so hard to be a little more grateful for a change. 

He’s been doing better and he’ll keep on trying.

But there’s still just so much to be angry about everywhere he looks, from the past all the way through to this moment, burning up in front of him right now: this crawling-forward world that should be better, and isn’t, and won’t be unless people step forward to shoulder the hard slow work with no one to punch and no climactic battle you win or you lose.

This sort of work requires the splendid terrible patience of the tide eating away at a face of rock: mighty and irresistible, but wearisomely slow.

You gotta do the work. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

A Man Takes His Sadness Down to the River (The Consolation of Philosophy)

[justlikeheavenfest]

register now for access to passes, on sale this friday at 11am PT. May awaits with arms outstretched. 🫶 $49.99 down payment plans available. www.justlikeheavenfest.com

[moonxmagix]

Dad's Best Friend NSFW

Pairing: Frank Iero x Fem Reader

TW: smut 18+, age gap

Summary: You and Frank have a magnetizing pull to each other. Who will crack first under pressure? Like the title says, you're fucking your dad's best friend. Will you get caught?

A/N: part two is posted pls check it out 🥹

My dads friend was special. I’d frequently stand propped up against the door frame exchanging stares between him and I. I’d wear a shorter skirt or dress that day just when he was around. I was a tease, I’ll admit. When I turned 18, now 19, I’d really never had sexual desire for men or boys my age. I had never thought about a man as much as I did Frank. I'd frequently write in my journal about him and write his name over and over again until my wrist would give out.

Luckily Frank was over all of the time which means I got to see him and watch him glare at me and my body. It was like a game to see who would crack first. One day my father, known as Gerard Way, came up to me and told me to get ready for dinner. “Are we going out?” I asked. “Yeah, get dressed please. We’re leaving in 20,” my father said, kissing me on the head. 

I stayed calmed on the outside but on the inside I squealed. I ran to my closet and picked out something simple but hot. Usually after we eat we go out to do something like an arcade. I remember one time we went and Frank won me a cute Hello Kitty plush.

I wore a System of a Down t-shirt, black jean skirt, converse, and silver chain necklace. For makeup all I did was tight line my eyes, added blush, highlight, mascara, and a lip gloss. Didn’t wanna go too heavy. I looked at myself one more time before I left my room and felt contempt with how I looked.

I walked out of my room and my dad saw my shirt, “Did you steal that out of my closet?” I frequently took things out of there because he had shirts of bands I really liked. He introduced me to them, “Possibly,” I said with a smile. 

We went to the car and headed to the food place to meet everyone there. I got out of the car and fixed up my appearance a bit, I saw that Ray and Mikey brought their kids who I was kinda friends with but they were a lot younger than me. Frank didn’t have kids, which sucked because I could’ve used them to my advantage to get closer to him but I’ll play the hard game.

“What’s up? Good to see you again Y/N,” Frank said to me. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks because he’s been touring a bit doing solo projects. His breath smelled of mint gum.

He hugged me for a little longer and squeezed tightly. Whenever he did those things it never came off strange or weird to the people around us. We were all very affectionate towards each other considering how close everyone was.

We walked into the restaurant and my dad and I sat at complete opposite ends of the table. Frank sat near the edge of the booth and I sat next to him with Ray next to me. Everyone talked amongst themselves and I sat quietly, I wasn’t much of a talker especially around a large group of people. Anxious people problems.

I think Frank noticed and whispered in my ear, “You alright?” He had a look of slight concern on his face. “Yeah,” I whispered back, nodding. "I've got ya," he said reassuringly. We both turned our attention back to the table when I felt something poke my thigh.

It was Frank's pinky finger gently rubbing my thigh and the edge of my skirt. Chills ran down my back and all over my arms. He slowly but surely worked his entire hand on my thigh, I could feel his cold rings rubbing against me which made my legs get chills.

He left his hand there and rubbed his thumb, it was driving me crazy. I was so desperate for him, in need of his touch. Oh how I’ve been waiting for this for so long and it is finally here.

We ate our food and I stole a few bites from both Ray and Frank's plate. After I finished I felt a bit tired and rested my head on Frank’s shoulder. I started to fall asleep and took a good 30 minute nap. God these people talk a lot. I woke up and yawned, “Someone’s tired,” Frank said teasingly. “Nah, just bored and ready to party,” I said jokingly. Which he chuckled at.

After that we drove to the arcade, this is my chance to get him alone. This place is dark and huge so I have plenty of places to hide both of us in.

We all kinda went our own way after getting cards to swipe on the machine. I told my dad I was gonna go to certain machines but I wanted to scope things out, but not too suspiciously. If I can’t find anything then to the bathroom it is!

I see Frank playing a game and I go to the one next to it, skeeball. I started playing and bent down to pick up the ball and made sure he could see under my skirt. I made sure to wear skimpy underwear for him. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

I finished playing and before I could leave I felt a body stand behind but next to me. I turn to see Frank and my cheeks turn red, “You think you can tease me like that?” he whispers in my ear. “N-no sir, I’m just playing the game,” I was so flustered. “Game my ass, come with me,” he said, pulling my hand.

He took me to the family bathroom and locked the door immediately. He pushed me against the wall and our lips met, I was hungry. Our tongues fought for dominance and I moaned into the kiss. “I’ve waited for you to make the first move, Y/N,” He said, pulling my skirt down.

He turned me around and pulled my underwear down sliding himself into me. He told me to keep my moans quiet so he covered my mouth. Frank took my virginity. I can't believe it. Something about it was so hot and risky.

“You’re mine, you’re fucking mine Y/N,” he said while pounding me until my legs were shaking profusely. I came all over him and he pulled out. We cleaned ourselves up and went to the pizza bar as a cover.

We got our pizza then went to sit down at a table, a part of me was scared to be alone with him but this is what I’ve wanted for so long. We sat at a table and I was way too nervous to talk, “Don’t be so shy baby,“ he winked. “Sorry, I can’t help it,” I smiled slightly. “I had fun,” I said.

He smiled, “Me too! We’ll do it more,” he said, winking at me. It kinda shocked me, does he want this as much as I do? I could only hope so. After that we went back to the arcade and finished playing games. Thankfully no one suspected us or where we went.

We walked to the car and my dad stopped to ask me something, I felt my stomach drop to my ass and I expected him to ask where we went. But instead he asked me if it was alright if Frank stayed a few nights with us in-between his tour. “Yeah I don’t see why not,” I said shrugging. Fuck yeah. But also huh??? 

Frank got in the car with us and I had to sit in the back now, mostly on my phone while they both talked. We got home and I went to my room immediately, I was ready to get out of these clothes! I changed into some fluffy skull pajamas pants and a black tank top. I was blessed with a bigger chest and I knew Frank wouldn’t resist me when I looked like this. I washed my makeup off and threw my hair up in low pigtails.

I went down stairs into the kitchen to get a drink and ran into Frank making coffee for him and my dad. “You tease,” he said, pushing me against the counter pressing his lips to mine. He twirled my pigtails in between his hands and fingers, then moved them around my face. 

He released and tapped me on the butt before grabbing the coffees and about to leave the room. He stood in the door frame and said, “I’ll see you tonight.” 

“See you tonight,” I said smiling.

~^~^~^~^

It was around 12  am and Frank still hasn't come around. I sat there in bed and sighed heavily, I wasn’t tired any bit so I decided to play a bit of guitar by the window. I decided to play Cherry by Harry Styles. It was such a comforting song to play and listen to, I’d hum along.

It wasn’t until I heard my door crack open and saw a familiar face. I motioned my hand to invite him in and he closed the door behind him quietly. He sat next to me, “What’cha playing?” he asked. “Just Harry Styles, I’ve been waiting for you,”  I said, smiling at him, blushing. When he looked at me I felt my entire body glow with red and the warmth of a thousand suns.

“Oh really? I’m sorry it took so long, I’m here now sweetheart,” he said pushing my hair behind my ear. I sat my guitar down and he immediately grabbed my face with his tattooed hands. I grabbed his  hand and took him to my bed. We laid next to each other just cuddling for a while until we made out once again. 

It got heated pretty fast and next thing you knew all of my clothes were off and he was rubbing his warm, rough hands all over my body. He got down to my pussy, rubbing his fingers all around me, teasing me. “Frank please,” I begged. “Please what?” he smirked, inserting a finger. “Please sir, fuck me,” I said moaning quietly. He inserted another finger moving them quickly until I came everywhere on them.

“Open your mouth,” he said,  so  I did. He put both fingers in my mouth and told me to suck. I could see how hard he was under his pajama pants, he took them and told me to get on the floor on my knees. I opened my mouth for him, he took my hair in his fist and slowly inserted himself in my mouth. He pulled my face down on his cock, making me gag. I bobbed my head on his cock, making his head lean back in pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re such a good girl,” he said, which made me feel so giddy. I deepthroated his cock making him cum all down my throat. He tasted so sweet. I wish I could have this all of the time.

“Get back in bed,” he said, smacking my ass. As I was about to lay down he pulled my body into a doggy position. I shook my ass inticing him to fuck me, he inserted himself into me once again. Oh how I’ve been missing this feeling, I felt whole with him inside of me. “Fuck  Y/N,” he moaned moving faster and faster. He put my arms behind my back pushing my head into the pillows with his other hand.

I was moaning pretty loud, “Shut the fuck up you slut. Shut that pretty mouth,” he growled. I shut my mouth, moaning into the pillows and sheets which muffled them by a lot. I came again, he then flipped us to where I was now riding him. My boobs bounced up and down and he grabbed them gripping hard, “You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Hearing those words made me go faster and harder on his cock. He was biting his fist, he smacked my boobs and played with my nipples which made me bite my lips. 

“I’m about to cum,” he said. I got off and started sucking him off again so he’d cum in my mouth. He came in my mouth and we both collapsed next to each other. He got up and put his clothes back on and so did I. We snuggled up against each other and fell asleep. What a night.

I groaned as the sun flashed in my eyes. I rolled over to see the other side of the bed empty and the sheets pulled back. A small frown appeared on my face knowing I wouldn’t be waking up with him. I reached for my phone on the nightstand but felt a piece of paper on it, it read;

I’m sorry I left you all alone this morning but I had to go. I got a call unexpectedly and I have silly tour stuff to do. I miss you already. Make sure not to tell anyone about our special night and our special relationship. ;)  I left you a few cigarettes too,  text me when you wake up. Frank xo

I folded the paper up and slid it into my journal.