#about dirk
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@tipsygnostalgy HELLO HI UH THIS IS AN INCOMPLETE VERSION. i snipped out some bits because im throwing down anxiety in.the ring even posting this. im frankly a little embarrassed i can't give everything tonight even what i have down as okay to upload is not my top form at all, im just really really excitedaaaa i'll probably reblog the lovers post with a complete version eventually, but for now this is the best thanks i can offer for the nigh lethal dose of dopamine you've shot into my skull.
apologies in advance for my verbosity it's chronic
im posting dirk's half first because i definitely talked too much on jake's. it's almost double the length. i think it's partially because ive chewed through dirk so much i can make it through a considerable amount of his sections without dissolving completely. and i'm impatient!
note: my interactions with philosophy are limited to the two month bonanza i spent when i was 14 which i barely remember due to my general memory issues because my philosophy teacher was shit at his job and i took matters into my own hands, and uh. dirkjake! and one character from one other fandom. yeah. i am a nerd who loves breaking shit down, i love information, and i love philosophy nonetheless but i am So unqualified to be doing any of this
entry 1:
can i scream? i'm screaming. out loud. in real life. holy two fucks and a half. what do i even say it's So Good. dirk could excuse his inadequacy with the minute comfort that the brother he idolizes is functionally perfect in a way he could never conceivably live up to be. everything is shattered when he meets a version of him who is on the same footing. Yes. i literally have a post typed up about it.
im copypasting a small segment here but it's so close to exactly what you said im almost unnerved. mostly excited tho i am SHAKING
the most devastating thing to know is that dave is just a guy. dave strider, 16 year old. human and flawed and still enough in ways dirk never could be. what he did for his team his friends the things dirk couldn't, he is made to serve and no matter how hard dirk tries he cannot live up to be the same because this is not his role.
words? words. that's so much many words.
this is not his class. he is doomed to be selfish, his thread is already in the tapestry and he falls right into the path no matter how much he fights it. what can be counted as him indirectly the plot was created at the service/detriment to himself (hal) and what is himself directly aiding his party is in fact orchestrated by other more helpful, more selfless people and he hates it so much.
YES IT'S EXACTLY THAT RIGHT THERE RIGHT RIGHT THERE dirk is so so So aware that he is selfish that he cannot help the people he cares about oh so deeply and the knowledge that dave on his own, after being hurt so much "more" than dirk direct abuse he was able to pull through, he was still enough. shit man !!!!!!!
funnily enough i think dirk might have been able to learned new skills to do with his classpect besides the passive narrative bend it has on everything he does to destroy. this is entirely theory but your classpect and your development with it helps you develop as a person. it's like a muscle if you think about it; the more you use it, the closer you get to its core, the more you learn to bend ithad he tried to use it (resisting the urge to say like dave did because that will stomp on the shattered pieces of my heart) i think he would have gotten a bit more control over his position in the narrative if it makes sense.
ironically, i think learning how to direct the destructice force his classpect gives him might have allowed him to get a hold on said narrative bending, and stop unintentionally wrecking shit. but doing Anything as a prince is the last thing dirk wants.
(god it's so tragic this theory is so tragic without it dirk was always doomed to the inevitable but with it he could have done better in his eyes nevermind that destruction of selves isn't always bad if you know how to direct it, see bgd @ aranea, but it literally requires him to take the path he's trying to hard to fight. you define how your classpect changes you. oh dirk.)
i think a lot about this if you can't tell
FUCK IM GETTING OFF TRACK. STOP OKAY CAN THE THEORIES FUCK.
[insert 2 paragraphs more of me screaming about the katana line hally lieu yeah]
entry 2:
HAL MY FAVOURITE KENTUCKY FRIED FUCKER HELLOOOO HELLO OOHOHOGO
god my old hyperfixation on deep learning models is coming back to bite me in the jungular. delightful slash gen
dirk does love his control mhmm mhmm god im gonna go dig up that picture my friend sent me once one sec
that's who he wants to be. so badly
he Hates not understanding shit prides himself on being the (im quite sure it's part of how he gauges his use. he has a very utilitarian view on it. being the one to pull the strings thus being useful by virtue of organizing their success. proceeds to eat gcatshit trying)
i think a part of why dirk insists so fucking much that hal is Not him and Not alive could be one of two 2 reasons, beyond the already tangled pumpkin patch of conflict.
1) not taking credit for hal's contributions. the fact that hal has served the team without dirk's direct orders + dirk's objective pride about being the puppetmaster, he wouldn't want this tied to him
i doubt this one honestly, it's incoherently explained on its own because it's really late but also it just there's a lot of holes in the logic here. the second one breaks my heart a little:
2) if he accepts hal to be sentient, he has to accept he has created a new conscious person. he cannot cling to any notion that he did help his friends, he created an intelligent AI and that tool he made in turn was used to aid and guide his friends. he is still in control here. he still helped, he built that bot and it helped.
right?
[cutoff point 2. im rushing. im so sorry ajsjaj]
entry 3:
killing me
"He likes emotion, he likes people, he just wants to be completely perfect when interacting with them so that he’ll never lose them." YES. YES. YES YES YES yes okay yes exactly Yes
this is one of the things i headbutt against in dirk fandom stuff a lot (even borzoi's take once i think correct me if im wrong) it's the fact that i think dirk likes people. he's been alone his whole life yet he delights in dialectics and dialogue, he's socially awkward and introverted but he's not socially averse. i am not gonna let myself run over the hills and far away with this tangent but i am hushdhsj AAAAA
what he doesn't like is feeling inadequate interacting with people. he doesn't like being inadequate in general he reflects on his flaws near constantly and the biting reminder of his alternate selves' sins in the back of his mind doesn't help, but with people he Cares About interacting with them he does not like not knowing what to do, he does not like being unable to navigate these situations. he likes being human and experiencing emotions and connection and he hates the fact that it requires error to the trials, he just wants to be entirely logical while still having a metaphorical right brain totally not a big thing to ask for ahshdhskjrh[explodes]
AHAAAAA SISYPHUS YYYES YES YRS EYSBEYDHHWHEHSHEHD FUCK YES oh man i am much more a theatrical literature person so this is ringing off bells in the wrong direction than intended but im reading reading reading chewing
"upon facing the question of the absurd in the fullest extent, one can either choose to kill themselves or make a ‘reply.’" hogh
two roads: become god, or kill yourself. jesus fuck that's a screwed up twitter thread if ive seen one. and of course he picks the secret third option: Both. absolute DiStri Moment™
fuckitweballkind that's joining my regular vocabulary holy shit your language is amazing
this feels like an extension of dirk's dilemma between subjective experience with objective control; coming to grapple with the unpredictability of his absurdist existence and his solution being to take control of the narrative entirely. i feel like there are a lot more dots i could connect here. i will sleep on this
[addition i feel is important even though it has minimal connection as of right Now:
roxykisser put out something about classpects and the ult self being the literal narrative very recently and how they tie into the narrative and it's That it's that. my take is partly influenced by past fandoms but it has always ruined me that in order to god tier, quite literally, you're killing the person you were before the embrace the narrative role. you the actor are giving up your freedom to the performance, and the closer you get to your classpect the more you embrace the narrative. in return, you gain more flexibility and control in said narrative, more ways to use your classpect. to become the ult self is to become the role. you kill the person, you become the role, but at the cost of your self, your mind may be driven by the consciousness of an amalgamation of every You, but your core is now your role.
im incorporating and altering this with my consumption]
really hope this is like at least mildly entertaining i have no idea what im doing but!!!! I Am So Abnormal About Everything i love this i love you i love love this so Much
#choc talks#A LOT.#about dirk#not gonna maintag any of this because i intend to keep this as down low as possible aksjsjas it's unpolished unfinished#everything everything this is everything to me GAH I LOVE YOUR MIND
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#Homestuck#Dirk strider#dave strider#roxy lalonde#rose lalonde#karkat vantas#This is dumb but i thought itd be funny#shhhh dont think about the setting its nebulous#Also#first time drawing karkat#i think hes p cute#also he has a nasty case of needs fucking glasses
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It keeps happening
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dave strider#bro strider#hs dave#hs bro#sweet bro and hella jeff#dirk strider#dave strider fanart#bro strider fanart#hs dave strider#i warned you about stairs bro#i told you dog#i told you man i TOLD you about stairs#homestuck dirk#hs dirk#homestuck dave#homestuck bro#homestuck beta kids#art#my art#homestuck drawing#homestuck doodles#hs john#hs jade#hs rose#homestuck john#homestuck jade#homestuck rose
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lonely
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#lil cal#admin draws#fanart#do you ever think about cal is the only company he had for. a while#it was an empty cal. but i dont know if that makes it worse actually#and then fate just said nope you gotta drop him into the depthy. srry not sorry. fu.#im posting shit so out of order my god. this has been up on twt for like a few days now.#drawing solkats rn so i might post that next regardless of whar else i drew lel
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Assorted homestucks number 72382683
#tw alchoholism#homestuck#my art#zan0tix#roxy lalonde#rose lalonde#dirk strider#june egbert#dave strider#jade harley#jane crocker#jake english#calliope#terezi pyrope#i talk so much gender meta with alpha kids i gotta start making#more art about it because i have so many thoughts on their complex interactions with gender and identity😢���#trans girl roxy forever.. wipes tear from my eye
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post-canon/epilogues au, in which kankri, through paradox space shenanigans, gets revived and comes into his ultimate self, gathering knowledge from all of his past and future iterations - including the signless. now hes on a one-man mission to stop ult dirks plan to start another session of sburb in the bud
#homestuck#homestuck au#homestuck beyond canon#kankri vantas#dirk strider#ultimate dirk strider#dont ask me how did he get revived or why does he want to stop ult dirk i am as clueless as you are#but feel free to speculate!! i just liked the concept of ult kankri and how would it change him#since now he also has memories of signless#the ask about dirkkri gave me brainrot#i also did not fully read the epilogues or hs:bc im going in blind lmfao#dirkri#dirkkri
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I don’t know if this is worth a post on here. We post anyways maybe (?)
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#Been playing disco Elysium#That is about all. I drank 4 litres of Pepsi today#Insane#and I still wanted more… but I burned my tongue yesterday#because I was too eager to eat fish. Now everything tastes like burn#Sigh.#Copied from being John Malkovich by the way#one of my favorites#movie wise. Always reminded me of him yadda yadda. I am tired#Hitting the hay now. But my room is so warm… I have no air con. I know no peace in this world
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guys… i don’t think he’s doing this for all of us
#erm… he’s RIGHT behind me… isn’t he?#i made rose’s eyes look like the surface of the sun for funesies#also idk who said it#but someone made a post about how rose looked (symbolically) tear-streaked with the hood of her new outfit up#and that’s such baller imagery i added it#ngl i mainly wanted to draw terezi pissed off lmao#hurly art#homestuck#homestuck art#homestuck fanart#homestuck beyond canon#hs:bc#hsbc#hsbc upd8#hsbc spoilers#hs^2 update#hs^2#homestuck upd8#homestuck update#upd8#hs#hom3stuck#terezi pyrope#homestuck terezi#rose lalonde#homestuck rose#rosebot#dirk strider#homestuck dirk
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Sure dirk strider
#homestuck#my art#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#homestuck dirk#recently saw some posts about OCD dirk#i like that headcanon#i like it!!#also ignore brunette dirk#it fit the piece better as brunette#maybe im projectin but i like the ideas n art ideas that come with the ocd dirk headcanon#theres alot i can express with homestuck characters + dirk#so i like the headcanon alot!!!!!!
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The best strategy meeting they never had
Now why did these divas never get to meet in person
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dirk strider#john egbert#John e#vriska serket#the three horsemen of the not GAFfing apocalypse#hussie had to nerf 2/3 of them because the comic would have ended about 1000 pages earlier#rose lalonde#dave strider#karkat vantas
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#i need answers. it will be very funny if new tumblr users ask or find out about dirkjake through this#dirkjake#bakudeku#bkdk#dirk strider#jake english#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#homestuck#my hero acedamia
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hm
#hom3stuck#homestuck#john egbert#jade harley#dirk strider#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#lil hal#autoresponder#inspired sketches because i went thru a bunch of artblogs and wanted to be dynamic and artsy too#also love to listen to songs and then try my best to draw something for the duration of it. this isnt quite one of those times but#hey the names matched up nicely#idk man. tonight is a sad about dirk strider day turned into sad about dirk strider night. davekats to make it go down easier#anyways ever think about how a captcha of 13 year old dirk doesnt want to die but the 16 year old version does.#cause i do . plenty.#these seem like sketches ripe to do something with but i dont feel like touching them more so. black and white up they go
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Iconography
#artistic nudity#trans#These two literally make me so sick i cant stop thinking abiut them😭#how are you that transgender how did they do it#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#my art#zan0tix#I am writing a poem about them let me cook#how crazy is it that they canonically chose their names pronouns and gender presentation guys.#scratching my butt
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I'm not immune to corny tropes
#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#homestuck#hom3stuck#hs#galaxicsart#i dont CARE if it's played out#striders being cagey about taking off their shades but letting their partner look at their eyes...#OUGHHH#god DAMN IT#dirk being vulnerable and showing jake his eyes#jake being awestruck by how pretty and orange and unique they are#dirk being flustered by how intently and how in love jake is with him and how handsome he finds him#AHHHHHHHHH#im normal so so normal#theres a reason that its so common#its just so sweet and intimate...
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turnabout kids and their sprites! ive had an ask laying around in my inbox about them for far too long lmfao, so ive finally decided to draw em out
jane: mime porcelain doll + poppop
dirk: seagull + hal
roxy: wizard figurine + frigglish
jake: gcat + his dreamself
#homestuck#homestuck turnabout#turnabout au#homestuck au#jane crocker#jake english#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#poppop#frigglish#lil hal#hal strider#gcat#ive thought if it should be frigglish or mutie thatd be roxys sprite but i thunk frigglish fits more#since in canon mom was the one who got mutie i imagine in tb itd be rose whod get mutie this time#idunno if this makes sense homestuck is too complicated for my brain sometimes#also jane gets harassed with mimes instead of clowns#i think it fits with kurloz giving her nightmares through chucklevoodos and parallels with johns clowns nicely#while still making jack pissed off about his new fit bc of all the frills hell have to wear#leading to him becoming jack cat?? cat noir?? *miraculous ladybug flashbacks*
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