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diejager · 1 year ago

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wondering how doesn't reader get pregnant after a lot of action with both horangi and könig, especially when König prefers to breed reader rather than his wife.

also do they have breeding kink? and what would be reader's reaction if there's a possibility of pregnancy, that would be so dramatic ig coming from reader's mom.

I hope this answered your question! cw: breeding kink, drug replacement?, mention of abortion, forced pregnancy, mention of stalkholm syndrome, tell me if I missed any.

The answer is simple: you either take pills, or got an IUD installed (honestly, that’s what I have since I have so many friends who’ve told me that pills have bothersome side effects and I’m forgetful so I won’t be able to remember to take them every day.).

A) If you take pills, König will replace them with a placebo, he has his ways, relationships built on years of work and alliance. So it wouldn’t be hard for him to find someone who can produce placebos for your birth control. Since he’s made a habit of staying near you whenever he can, seeing as he’s retired, it would be weird if he went out for so long. He has Horangi pick it up, meeting with the agent who’s sent to give them a year worth of box.

B) If you had an IUD installed, he’ll search your room for that little card it comes with when you’re not home, look at the date and he has two options. 1) if he doesn’t want to wait the time, be it a year or two, anything between one and five, he’ll talk to you about taking it out. 2) if he can wait, he’ll use the time to break you in, let you settle with this relationship and get you used to the dynamic they have in mind. Patience is a virtue after all, like a little pet project of theirs.

They definitely have a breeding kink. Ironically enough, they’re family men, a bit rough on the edges and tactile in their ways, very touchy-feely. They like to be hands on, holding you down as they fill you up, fingers bruising your skin with brands, to let people - and you - that you belong to them. König might be fidgety, never being one to sit still and do nothing, but he is patient, like a predator in hiding. Horangi’s a tiger in a hunt, slow and steady steps, certainty exhuming from every decision he takes. They don’t make a decision without telling the other, Horangi and König are a team, they were and always will.

Whichever contraceptive you took, it wouldn’t mater much in the end, you’d end up with morning nausea and a positive on your test. You’re in tears, balling your eyes out and panicking, breathe rapid and shallow, near hysteric as your mind goes through all the different scenarios of what ifs. You might’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of your situation, pregnant with the child of your stepfather or your neighbour. What would your family think? Your mother who’s oblivious and ignores your cries for help; your father who didn’t know where wen after your mom indefinitely cut your contact; or your living grandparents that lives God knows where.

Unlike you, hysteric and frantically searching for a solution to your problem, König is excited, calling Horangi to tell him the great news of your pregnancy. He has a smile on his lips when he finds you, shushing your tears and cooing soft praises. König tells you what a good mother you’d be, what a responsible Stay-at-home mother, with gentle hands and loving lips. When Horangi’s here, he picks you up, holding you in his arms and peppers you in kisses, a few deep, feverish ones, full of passion, and a few wild ones on the corner of yours lips and your cheeks.

Your mother is less frantic than you, worried, but not panicking. As a mother, she’ll ask about the pregnancy, who the father is (knowing you weren’t one to sleep around), and help you. You’re embarrassed at yourself, unable to tell her that the two men in the room are the kid’s father. You’re silent, head bowed down in shame and fidgeting, anxious and terrified, you were in your army 20’s, still in University to finish your bachelor’s degrees and now you’re pregnant. Horangi steps up, telling her that you’ve been having relationships with him - excluding the fact that her husband had a hand in everything as well - in occasions. She’s seen how close you are with Horangi, nearly sitting on his lap at times and often seen in his company.

She’s supportive, ignorent of all the mess in your life. Granted, she’s a bit disappointed, but you’re an adult, she can’t dictate your life like her parents did to her. So all she can do is support you, take l’ombre time off to walk you through the basics of parenthood and the nausea and emotional rollercoaster a pregnancy brought. You want to tear your hair out from the roots down at how oblivious your mother is, but you’re scared of getting an abortion, or if it’s legal at all.

Your angry, stressed and panicked, emotions flaring up with your unfortunate situation with no one to talk to, to turn to, all you want to do is cry. What can you do when you have an ignorant mother and two possessive and criminally wrong men with bloody hands and unrestrained connections.

Tag list: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973

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anexperimentallife · 7 months ago

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So you want leftist candidates? Here's how you get them:

First off, you have to understand that the far right didn't just wake up one day and say, "We should fuck up the country!" They have been OPENLY working for decades to fill literally every elected or appointed government position they could with Christian Dominionists and other right-wingers, and these folks show up to the polls EVERY SINGLE TIME.

When I was a kid in a far right church in the 1960s, they openly discussed how important is was to get their people into office who would help pass legislation to persecute/imprison/kill anyone who didn't follow their religion. If there's no one sufficiently right-wing running, they'll vote for whomever is closest, even if it gags them. And I cannot emphasize enough that they have long term goals that they are willing to take--and HAVE taken--generations to achieve.

The overturning of Roe v. Wade, for example, is a DIRECT RESULT of the decades-long effort by the far right to boost the most far-right-leaning candidates they could find. They've been talking for decades SPECIFICALLY about getting enough far right judges in SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade. And these SCOTUS appointments are for LIFE, so these judges get to set policy for your GRANDCHILDREN.

So yes, the overturning of Roe v. Wade was only made possible because Trump was able to appoint three SCOTUS judges, in addition to all the other federal judges he appointed. Amd they're talking about going after same-sex marriage, minority rights, etc.

(Hell, the judge in charge of his secret documents case is one that he appointed--she has indefinitely postponed that case,by the way.)

And you don't think local school board elections are important? Have you not seen the news about all the anti-queer policies, and all the book-bannings? This, also, has a generational effect.

Meanwhile the left refuses to turn up to the polls because none of the candidates are pure enough. So guess why things are getting worse?

If the Left turned out for the most left-leaning candidate at EVERY SINGLE ELECTION, whether local or state or whatever, including primaries, we'd start seeing more leftist candidates. Yes, that means that if there's a choice between two extreme right wing candidates, you vote for the least extreme one.

I know I keep emphasizing that this is not just about POTUS, but POTUS does figure in, of course (among other things, who do you think appoints judges for congress to approve?).

So swallow this pill: Anything shitty Biden is doing, the shitgibbon will do MORE of.

"Not gonna vote Biden because he supports genocide, so I'd rather the guy win who ALSO supports genocide, wants Russia to invade more countries, thinks it's fine if China retakes Taiwan, wants a nationwide abortion ban, removal of civil rights for minorities, wants to overturn same-sex marriage (which the right-leaning majority in SCOTUS are already talking about), to cut back the role of congress in checking executive actions (including workarounds to avoid the need for congressional confirmation for presidential appointees), to remove federal employee protections so federal personnel can be replaced with Trump loyalists, and so on! That'll teach those Dems a lesson! THEN they'll be sorry. And fuck everyone the bad guys hurt, because I'll still be PURE. So what if top GOP officials want to actually NUKE Gaza?"

That's fucking kindergartner thinking.

Yes, Biden is a piece of shit, but I am not waxing at all hyperbolic when I say that a second orange shitgibbon term, with a far-right-majority SCOTUS--especially if the GOP manages majorities in both houses of congress--may be the end of what little is left of Democracy in the US. Not gonna argue about it, because I don't waste my time with petulant children.

Look at the GOP's plans for a Republican administration, and tell me you think it sounds better than another term of Biden. Hell, they've even set up online trainings and loyalty tests to narrow down potential federal hires to those who will commit to follow Trump without question.

I repeat: If you want more leftist candidates, if you want more worker power, if you want billionaires taxed, if you want to protect minorities and the queer community, you have to adopt the strategy that the right has used, educate yourself about what candidates stand for, and show up EVERY SINGLE TIME. Again, that includes primaries.

So many of us on the left would rather sit in the basement dreaming of some magical revolution that's going to fix everything, giving ourselves and others purity tests, and proudly announcing that we're... boycotting democracy by not voting(?), "because none of the candidates are a good choice."

Yeah, the left refusing to vote--or only voting in presidential elections--while the right turns up every time is exactly how we got here.

And you have to support the most left-leaning candidate even if it makes you gag, and even if "most left-leaning" means "not as openly fascist." This is the ONLY way you can be assured of candidates getting further to the left in the future. (Note that this means learning about your local candidates.)

"But voting won't fix--" I never said it was going to fix everything. There's no rule that if you vote, you can't volunteer with Food Not Bombs, or run for school board, or demonstrate, or circulate petitions. It takes more than voting, but voting has to be PART of our strategy.

You also have to accept that it may take decades to change course, and that you're not going to like every candidate you have to vote for.

The right didn't just magically get the orange shitgibbon into office overnight. It took decades of work. And if we want decent human beings in charge, we have to be willing to do the same.

#uncle rob gets political

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vaspider · 14 days ago

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In the Wyoming case, the women and nonprofits who challenged the laws argued that the bans stood to harm their health, wellbeing and livelihoods – claims disputed by attorneys for the state. They also argued the bans violated a 2012 state constitutional amendment saying competent Wyoming residents have a right to make their own health care decisions. As she had done with previous rulings, Owens found merit in both of these arguments. The abortion bans “will undermine the integrity of the medical profession by hamstringing the ability of physicians to provide evidence-based medicine to their patients”, Owens ruled. The abortion laws impede the fundamental right of women to make health care decisions for an entire class of people – those who are pregnant – in violation of the constitutional amendment, Owens ruled. Wyoming voters approved the amendment amid fears of government overreach after approval of the federal Affordable Care Act and its initial requirements for people to have health insurance. Attorneys for the state argued that health care, under the amendment, did not include abortion. The Republican governor, Mark Gordon, who signed the abortion laws into effect in 2022 and 2023, did not immediately return an email from the Associated Press on Monday seeking comment.

#abortion #bodily autonomy #reproductive rights #wyoming #us politics

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drbased · 2 months ago

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ok I have to talk about 'the dialectic of sex' by shulamith firestone because it was one of the first proper feminist books I read and I didn't have the confidence back then to address this book:

so this is still the only book I've read so far that actually uses the words 'radical feminist' - except her definition of this politics is essentially transhumanist luxury space communism. because her understanding is that the 'root' of women's oppression is our reproductive capacity and therefore no matter what happens society will never fully be able to share the burden of childbirth and child-rearing across both sexes.

this book feels so evocative of its time - like there was a small window of pure hope shortly after the invention of the pill and the hippy movement where everything entirely changed for women. like, think about it: up until that point unless you use some sort of condom (which men don't like using - and also not 100% effective anyway) you're basically always vulnerable to being impregnated by a man during piv, which is considered the basic form of sexual intimacy wth men, which women are expected to engage in to be considered full members of society. so women would have all been in some sort of constant state of low-key fear; one sex - or rape - away from having a child that would change their entire existence. that's got to really fuck you up, especially your relationship with your own body. and you could get an abortion but only if you're incredibly lucky, and still getting an abortion is probably more like surviving a car crash than anything - like you're glad you made it through but also you're still damaged psychologically and probably physically as well. and it's such a silent fear as well - because women are supposed to want babies and babies just happen so you're not allowed to complain that this is because your husband always wants sex and he's the one who impregnates you but if he does people say 'she got herself pregnant again'. like there's layer upon layer of psychological terrorism surrounding men's impregnation of women and that's gotta mess you the hell up.

so the invention of the pill - holy shit, just imagine it. the hope. you can take the pill in secret, you can take the power back, you're not uniquely vulnerable to your own bodily forces anymore, that gives you time to fucking think, to be alive, to feel, to feel vulnerable, to feel free. it's like literal magic. if the most basic of happenings - pregnancy - can be actually prevented, then what else can we do to the body? what else can science do for us?? how more free can we get?? It's women's first time to (ironically) feel like a god, able to transcend the body. I'm actually surprised that I've not found more writings like shulamith's - that there weren't more women spurred on by this amazing discovery into further transhumanism. I guess the problem was that women were starting to notice that whilst women were able to change their own individual lives with the pill, that wasn't making men behave any differently.

but I still find it fascinating how this definition of radical feminism hasn't survived at all. as it stands on radblr, the 'root' of women's oppression is men, and therefore the only real solution is separatism. but like, what happened to the brand of feminism that says, uhhhh isn't it actually kinda fucked up that half the human race are burdened entirely with pregnancy, birth and child-rearing? and could we maybe be freed from that if we used science to bring about children another way? I'm not even agreeing with her that that would solve everything (because regardless even if we *could* make babies in a tube, that doesn't mean all women are going to magically become infertile, and it certainly doesn't mean than men are going to be less violent against us), but I'm very interested in questioning what the 'root' of women's oppression is - because modern 'radical feminism' has a lot of gaps to allow for a simplistic narrative that I'm sure many in the community, definitely myself included, are rapidly tiring of. and I think it shows in the separatism debate, which rages on because no one can think of any other solution, because the unspoken tenet is that what the 'root' is is solved and agreed-upon, and therefore the answer is just so damn obvious that the women who don't agree must be scared and stupid. I've been wanting to address this in some form or another for years now, and I guess I'm dipping my toes in it now.

at the very least, I'd like to know if someone has a good source on where the term 'radical feminism' came from and how its meaning has evolved over the years. in ariel levy's 'female chauvinist pigs' she touches on this debate that started in the late seventies that led to the fracturing of feminism and the creation of liberal feminism - and it seems to be along these same lines of separatism vs fucking men. I've always found it odd that there's essentially no middle ground here - like you don't need to embrace 'sluttiness' in order to want to have a healthy sexual relationship with a man, but it seems the liberal feminist side chose that, meanwhile the only other 'mainstream' option seems to be separatism. obviously a lot of the women in radblr don't actually fully agree with that - but all us hetties are suspiciously silent on that subject.

to me the issues with separatism go further than simply sex with men - sure it's psychologically good for you to only purchase from women owned businesses and only read books by women etc etc, and it financially uplifts other women. but also we live under capitalism, which obscures our reliance on each other. when you buy from that woman-owned business, the person delivering your package is likely to be male, the person who assembled the vehicle he drives is likely to be male, the person who constructed the roads he drives on is likely to be male. this is not to say that men are vital - but rather, your 'separatist choice' is a fundamentally capitalistic one that exists more for your peace of mind than being anything actually radical - as in, nothing about the 'root' of women's oppression is addressed in doing so. there's no ethical consumption under capitalism yadda yadda. and only speaking to women irl is also less of a capitalist action but still ultimately an individual one. there's so much emphasis on personal actions as the height of feminism and it screams liberal individualist to me. like you took 'the personal is political' and ran with it.

but if the root of the problem is men, then that's simple, isn't it? just don't interact with men. don't have sex with men. don't pay men, apart from the men who happen to be an inescapable part of the supply chain, they will inevitably get paid by your actions anyway, but you don't have to think about that because that's what capitalism does: it makes you think you have this magical power as an indvidual to make real radical choice in the world, to 'vote with your dollar'.

I'm not exactly calling for firebombing a walmart but I'm bored with the capitalism-loving individualistic liberalism of what this community calls 'radical feminism' - but that same thought-terminating cliche keeps getting thrown at us: 'we're radical, which means we grasp at the root, and the root is male violence, so you can't call yourself a radical feminist if you don't want to do the basic things of not wearing make-up and not fucking men'. and nobody ever seems to stop and question, does any of that actually address the root of our oppression? capitalism isn't the only economic system that has ever oppressed women, but it's the one we live under, and it's very good at sneaking into the backdrop of our lives and naturalising hierarchies - capitalism becomes its own justification, e.g. women choose low-paying jobs just because that's what we gravitate to, yanno?

being genuinely anti-capitalist recomplicates politics all over again, because suddenly it's not an easy men vs women but also men vs women vs rich people, some of whom are women??? and like, what's the solution to that? do we stand with men agains the capitalist system and risk our voices getting silenced, or do we go full single-issue and just go fuck it, capitalism was created by men for themselves like solanas said, so if we stand against men then idk capitalism will just sort of fall by itself? or in reality it's just not addressed at all. separatism itself always sits there as a thought-terminating cliche in and of itself - an accusation ready to be levelled at anyone who wants to question any of these unspoken tenets of radblr. and the goal-post is ever-shifting - separatism is women's land, but if you say that's not a real solution in our capitalist interconnected world then you get accused of not wanting women's spaces because that's obviously what separatism has been about this whole time. also separatism is not fucking men, actually it's not about that it's about prioritising women (vague), and on and on and on - the argument always shifts so the word stays pure. but like, is separatism an end-goal? a political tactic? something you do to enrich your own life and psyche? something to give space for consciousness-raising? I saw someone ages ago claim that the suffragettes wanting the right to vote was somehow separatist because idk, the women were making spaces for themselves? but wanting to involve yourself in male politics is literally assimilationist, no??

I'lm going to stop rambling for now but this was good to get my thoughts out there - I enjoy my theorising in this space but I'm also deeply interested in questioning. I've noticed time and time again that discourse is always stopped by 'you're not a real radical feminist if you do/don't do x' and I've found it really odd and telling that no one's questioned that? like sure I know we've built our whole political framework on 'words mean things' but also it's always worth questioning the definition of 'radical' and what the 'root' of our oppression is, and what we can actually do to address it, and if our narratives and assumptions are too simplistic. the community would be all the better for it imho. I already think the influx of 'tirfs' in the community and the khelif debate has been opening up these unspoken simplistic narratives on the nature of gender vs sex, of socialisation vs low-key biological essentialism, and I think we can push that kind of questioning even further. ramble over.

#my writing #partisan posting #I hope this doesn't come across as combative because it's really not

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meret118 · 2 months ago

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“It’s really a dangerous slippery slope when we have legislation that interferes with what we know to be evidence-based medicine.”

When Dr. Veronica Gillispie-Bell, a board-certified OB-GYN based in New Orleans, walks into a hospital room to deliver a baby, one of the first things she does is ask the nurse on duty, “Do we have our hemorrhage meds?”Postpartum hemorrhage, or severe bleeding after childbirth, is a leading—but preventable—cause of maternal death in the US and around the world. It occurs in an estimated 1 to 5 percent of pregnancies. For doctors like Gillispie-Bell, who has testified before Congress about the Black maternal mortality crisis, having medications on hand to treat patients immediately is critical to saving lives. Until last week, those drugs included misoprostol, which also happens to be one of the two pills used in medication abortion.

But obtaining access to the drug has suddenly become far more complicated. On October 1, Louisiana—which has a near-total ban on abortion—became the first state to officially begin classifying misoprostol and mifepristone, the other drug in the standard abortion pill regimen, as schedule IV controlled substances. The new law threatens anyone who possesses the medications without a prescription—except for pregnant women themselves—with up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine.To say that this designation—the same one applied to opioids and other addictive drugs—is without scientific or medical merit is an understatement. More than 100 studies have found that mifepristone and misoprostol offer a safe and effective way to terminate a pregnancy. As I reported earlier this year, that includes a study showing that abortion pills are just as safe and effective when prescribed via telemedicine and mailed to patients as when prescribed and dispensed in person.

In a letter to state Sen. Thomas Pressly, the Republican behind the new law, hundreds of doctors—including Gillispie-Bell—pointed out that mifepristone and misoprostol don’t have addictive potential or high rates of negative side effects, but do have important medical benefits, including managing miscarriages, preventing ulcers, and inducing labor.

#Gop #Misogyny #Health

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afeelgoodblog · 2 years ago

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The Best News of Last Year

1. Belgium approves four-day week and gives employees the right to ignore their bosses after work

Workers in Belgium will soon be able to choose a four-day week under a series of labour market reforms announced on Tuesday.

The reform package agreed by the country's multi-party coalition government will also give workers the right to turn off work devices and ignore work-related messages after hours without fear of reprisal.

"We have experienced two difficult years. With this agreement, we set a beacon for an economy that is more innovative, sustainable and digital. The aim is to be able to make people and businesses stronger," Belgian prime minister Alexander de Croo told a press conference announcing the reform package.

2. Spain makes it a crime for pro-lifers to harass people outside abortion clinics

Spain has criminalized the harassment or intimidation of women going for an abortion under new legislation approved on Wednesday by the Senate. The move, which involved changes to the penal code, means anti-abortion activists who try to convince women not to terminate their pregnancies could face up to a year behind bars.

3. House passes bill to federally decriminalize marijuana

The House has voted with a slim bipartisan majority to federally decriminalize marijuana. The vote was 220 to 204.

The bill, sponsored by Democratic Rep. Jerry Nadler of New York, will prevent federal agencies from denying federal workers security clearances for cannabis use, and will allow the Veterans’ Administration to recommend medical marijuana to veterans living with posttraumatic stress disorder.

The bill also expunges the record of people convicted of non-violent cannabis offenses, which House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said, “can haunt people of color and impact the trajectory of their lives and career indefinitely.”

4. France makes birth control free for all women under 25

The scheme, which could benefit three million women, covers the pill, IUDs, contraceptive patches and other methods composed of steroid hormones.

Contraception for minors was already free in France. Several European countries, including Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands and Norway, make contraception free for teens.

5. The 1st fully hydrogen-powered passenger train service is now running in Germany. The only emissions are steam & condensed water.

Five of the trains started running in August. Another nine will be added in the coming months to replace 15 diesel trains on the regional route. Alstom says the Coradia iLint has a range of 1,000 kilometers, meaning that it can run all day on the line using a single tank of hydrogen. A hydrogen filling station has been set up on the route between Cuxhaven, Bremerhaven, Bremervörde and Buxtehude.

6. Princeton will cover all tuition costs for most families making under $100,000 a year, after getting rid of student loans

In September, the New Jersey Ivy League school announced it would be expanding its financial aid program to offer free tuition, including room and board, for most families whose annual income is under $100,000 a year. Previously, the same benefit was offered to families making under $65,000 a year. This new income limit will take effect for all undergraduates starting in the fall of 2023.

Princeton was also the first school in the US to eliminate student loans from its financial aid packages.

7. Humpback whales no longer listed as endangered after major recovery

Humpback whales will be removed from Australia's threatened-species list, after the government's independent scientific panel on threatened species deemed the mammals had made a major recovery. Humpback whales will no longer be considered an endangered or vulnerable species.

Climate change and fishing still pose threats to their long-term health.

Some other uplifting news from last year:

A Cancer Trial’s Unexpected Result: Remission in Every Patient

California 100 percent powered by renewables for first time

Israel formally bans LGBTQ conversion therapy

Tokyo Passes Law to Recognize Same-Sex Partnerships

First 100,000 KG Removed From the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

As we ring in the New Year let’s remember to focus on the good news. May this be a year of even more kindness and generosity. Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2023!

Thank you for following and supporting this g this newsletter

Buy me a coffee ❤️

#best news of last week

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multific · 2 years ago

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Attached to You

Modern!AU

Billy Hargrove x Reader

A/N: I'm not a doctor nor am I medically trained, so, there are things here which are incorrect. Please ignore them and try to enjoy the piece as it is. Thank you.

Summary: After a one-night stand, you find out you are pregnant, thanks to your doctor's bad advice, it turned out that your pills weren't effective. Leaving you with a baby, you have lots of decisions to make.

"I only told you because you deserve to know. I don't want anything from you. I will deal with this myself."

Your words rang in his head over and over again.

It had been almost two weeks since he last saw you and now, he wasn't sure what he was doing.

Billy couldn't stop thinking about you. How you smiled at him even when he could see you were close to a breakdown.

It was all meant to be one night. Something he had done many many times before.

When he saw you sitting alone at the bar, he was quick to make his move. Flirting with you was easy as you blushed at every word he said. He soon learned about an ex of yours, the guy, as you explained, was rather obsessive about you and didn't want to let go of you, which is why you were hiding in a bar.

And so, Billy took this as a sign and brought you home.

It wasn't meant to end like this. He always made sure to have a condom with him. All the time. Of course, the one time when he doesn't, he gets someone pregnant...

But even so, you didn't look mad, you didn't demand money or anything from him. You just smiled and moved on.

He didn't even know your name. All he had is a phone number.

"You can delete my number as well. I won't look for you. All I wanted is for you to know since you are the father."

Father.

A word that scared him.

A word which meant nothing to him as he too, never had a father.

The realization hit him like a cold shower, he didn't have a father, so he knows just how hard it is to grow up without one, and here he was, the exact same as his.

He will have a child, who won't know their father. Who will go through the same pain as he did. Who will see their mother slowly crumble under all the pressure.

He is no better than his own asshole father.

This was unfair.

He could run. Men could run from the responsibility since they weren't attached to the baby, but women couldn't.

---

Billy felt like a piece of shit.

It had been almost two months since he last saw you.

And he couldn't help but wonder what 'dealing with it' meant for you. Did it mean you got an abortion? Or did you keep the child?

This was eating him alive.

He needed to find you and have another conversation with you. But you didn't pick up the phone nor did you reply to any text he sent.

He set out to the club he originally met you.

"Why the fuck did I think a pregnant woman would be in a club?!"

IF you were still pregnant.

The next couple days were awful for him.

Trying to find you, he went to the café you invited him to, no sign, he went to a hospital and asked if they knew about you. But of course, they couldn't give out any information.

You were all he could think about.

You and the baby he might have already lost.

Billy didn't feel like himself.

And then, one day, he spotted you. As he was walking down the street when he noticed you on the other side.

He followed you like a creep.

Dodging people, running. He followed you. Tried to call out but since he didn't know your name, it was difficult.

You went into a pharmacy and he stopped by the front door. His heart was beating fast, not only from running.

"Hi. I have some pills prescribed for me." he could hear you say. The pharmacist took a look and turned to you.

"Can I ask for your full name?"

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"You have... pregnancy vitamins prescribed by Dr Drew."

"Correct." you smiled. Oh God, that smile taunted him.

"Alright, let me get that for you."

He felt himself calm a little. Pregnancy vitamins. Why did they have to prescribe those for you anyway? But this meant you still had the baby.

"So, since this kind is... stronger, we recommend you take only one daily. If you skip a day do not take two the next day. Technically these are not vitamins, they are just called that. Is your pregnancy i-"

"The doctor said these are the best for my condition. So I need to take them."

"These are for you not the baby." she was rather rude as you tried to ignore her.

"I know."

"Alright, anything else I can give you?"

"Do you have any of those shooting creams? For when the skin stretches?"

"For the stretch marks? We have one, which is cold and another which is warm. One helps shoot the skin the other helps the marks to be less visible."

"I would like the one that shoots the skin, please. That would be all."

Billy watched as you paid for everything before he quickly exited so you wouldn't notice him.

Pregnancy vitamins... for you not for the baby. And you had a condition?

He watched as you walked away, but as you did a man ran into you. The man continued on while you nearly fell over.

"Watch where you are going, Asshole!" Billy pushed the man as he passed him, before he helped you. "Are you okay?"

He only realized that he was now holding your arm as you looked up at him. When did he get this close to you?

"O-Oh, yes. I'm fine thanks." he saw it in your eyes, you realized who he was soon after as you took a step back. "Thank you." you adjusted your bag before starting to walk and he knew he couldn't let you leave.

"Can we-Can we talk, Y/N?" he suddenly spoke up and you turned to him.

"If you want to." he nodded and you guided him to a nearby park and sat down on a bench.

An awkward silence filled the air.

He knew he needed to talk.

He took a deep breath.

"I was scared when you said you would deal with it, that you meant... abortion."

"I'm not going to lie, I thought about every option. It was one of them but... I decided against it."

"I-I heard you at the pharmacy..."

"Oh, you were there?" you looked up at him, genuinely surprised.

"You got some meds..." he nodded as he pointed at your bag.

"I-The doctor said it is okay to take pregnancy vitamins. But it turned out that I was the one needing them, not the baby. The doctor said my body puts the baby as a priority and takes away nutrition from me. We found out during my eight weeks when I asked the doctor if it was normal that I feel very dizzy. He did some checks and yeah. But... why are you asking me this?"

"Because for the last weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the baby."

"You don't have to. You are not guilty or anything."

"I grew up without a father. I saw my mother going through so much shit. I don't want you to go through all that. I want to be a father to my child. Someone I never had."

You took a moment to fully digest what he just said. He waited anxiously for an answer.

"Look, I will have a baby soon, a baby who can become attached. If they become attached to you and then you later decide that you don't want to do this... I believe that is worse. So, while I do appreciate your concerns, I was nothing more to you than a quick fuck. It is... unfortunate, that I got pregnant, but as I said it is something I am dealing with. So, please, if you don't mean it, don't get involved. You might think now that you want to be a part of this because you pity me or whatever, but if you change your mind..."

"I don't want to change my mind. Yes, it was meant to be a one-night stand but I can't ignore a child. My child. I'm not a coward. I want to be a part of the life of this little one."

You looked into his eyes, trying to figure him out. He looked serious. Maybe he really had a change of heart during the last couple months. You pulled out your wallet and a picture from it. You handed it to him.

He looked at the ultrasound.

"I'm currently 11 weeks along. The baby is 41mm long. The doctor said it's the size of a fig. We don't know the gender just yet, but they are healthy."

"Healthy. Good." he wanted to hand back the photo but you didn't take it.

"I have more at home, you can have that. I have a check-up next week, you could come if you have time."

"I'll be there."

You stood up and were about to walk away when you turned to look at him.

"If you don't come next week. I mean without a good reason, I don't want you to come after. I am already very attached to this little fig, and I don't want them hurt."

"I'll be there, text me the time and place."

You nodded before saying goodbye and walking away.

He stayed, looking at the picture.

"My little fig." he smiled before he too, headed home.

---

Honestly, you were shocked to see him at the doctor's the next week.

Every time he showed up.

He started to take you out to eat afterwards and started to ask more and more questions.

Billy asked you to move into his place which you didn't want but you did go over to his place many times.

You spent most of your weekends there. And lately, you even spent your nights there. In a separate room, but you did stay.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhhh! I heard babies can hear voices, I'm talking to them so they would recognize me when they are born." you shook your head as you continued to look at stuff on your phone. Subconsciously, one of your hands found his hair. You started to run your fingers through his locks as he continued to softly speak to the baby.

"We should get married." you nearly threw your phone at the TV.

"What?" you sat up so quickly you nearly gave yourself whiplash. He moved with you as he sat in front of you. The expression on his face was as serious as ever.

"You heard me. Marry me?"

"Why would I... What? No. Just because of the baby? That is-"

"Logical. We get married, you take my last name and the baby does too. It is logical."

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"What? Why?"

"You? Marriage?"

"Yes."

"Like in the old days? You get the woman pregnant and so you have to marry her?"

"I was thinking more about the baby and you. In case something happens to me, you two would be good on money."

"I don't want your money."

"I know you don't, I am giving it to you and the baby. We don't have to, but you can think about it."

"I honestly don't know."

"I know you probably wanted to marry out of love, fuck I never wanted to get married but here I am. With a baby on the way and with you. You are such an amazing girl, Y/N. I'm happy that you are the mother of my baby."

'"I'm very glad to hear that Billy, however, marriage is a big thing. Now don't get me wrong I have heard about people getting married for less and I'm not the biggest in the love department either. I truly believe you should marry someone you can see yourself for the rest of your life with and not be crazy in love with them but..."

"You told me this before. You said 'but you still believe that there should be love for marriage and not like love between friends.' And then you started crying because you couldn't explain yourself fully and I had to get you ice cream."

"Exactly."

"What would make you want to marry me?"

You placed your hand on his cheek.

"You might think now that its a good idea. You might think now that you would want me by your side forever, but I know Billy that one day, you would look at me and be disappointed that you married me because of our baby. One day you will be in a club, surrounded by girls and drinks and you won't think of me or our child, I want a loyal husband, and I wouldn't want you to throw the accusation at me, saying that you only married me for the baby and you would end up hating me."

"You believe that would happen? That I would regret it all and I would... what? Blame you for it?"

"Yes."

"You think that lowly of me?"

"No, I think that lowly of myself." you let out a sigh. "Look Billy, tell me that we are not here just because of the baby. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't pregnant. You would be out there as you were before. You don't want me, you want the baby. And that is completely fine. And it is all I can ask for. For you to love the kid. That's it."

"But I do love you. You are the mother of my child. How can I not?"

"Billy, please. You only care for me because of the baby. And I know that and it's okay."

Billy wanted to tell you that it wasn't true. That he truly cared for you. More than you could imagine.

He wanted to lift all of your insecurities and show you just how amazing you were.

But he did. Because he was afraid.

Not of losing his old life, but of losing you.

If you didn't believe him like this, he will prove his love in other ways.

---

You smiled as you saw the roses on the table. They looked amazing.

Beautiful white roses with a little note.

You debated picking it up and reading it until you saw your name on the paper.

'To my beautiful wife' it read on the inside and it made you scoff.

Since when did he become such a romantic?

You let out a long sigh.

Billy was trying way too hard. You were afraid one day he will realize this is not what he wants and just pack up and leave.

You were terrified that he will make you get used to his closeness and then pull away, leaving you to fall alone.

You really tried to keep your distance, to not fall in love or to not harbour feelings that would hurt you.

You really tried but it was very difficult because each time you saw his eyes sparkle as he looked at you, each time at the doctor's when he asked something about you or the baby, it made you feel so safe and happy.

When he asked you to marry him, you were ready to say yes. It was your first thought when he asked the question but then you realized your situation.

He doesn't love you to get married. He wants the baby around and that's fine.

You felt like you were lulling yourself into false realities and you couldn't let that happen.

Not with you becoming a mother.

Not with you knowing about his past. It felt like wherever you went you could see girls staring at you, eyeing you up and down. The dark thought of who he had slept with was always in the back of your head.

You knew you should let it go.

But it is easier said than done.

You were making lunch when Billy arrived home.

"Here you are. I actually wanted to go out for food, but I guess its too late now."

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Thank you for the flowers." you gave him a small smile.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, they are beautiful."

"And the card?"

"Card?"

"Yes, wrote it myself actually. Did you like it?"

You turned back to the oven and got the pan out. Billy only shook his head as he smirked before he left to take a quick shower.

Soon, he joined you at the table.

Eating the chicken you made.

"I have an appointment tomorrow."

"I know. It's baby gender time." he smiled.

"Yeah. What would you prefer? A boy or a girl?"

"Either is fine really. What about you?"

"I thought I wanted a son, but lately I have been imagining a little girl and I realized I would be fine with any really."

"Should we have one of those crazy gender reveal parties?"

"Oh gosh, no! You know I hate to be the centre of attention. I'm fine if the doctor tells us."

"Just an idea. Then I can at least finish their room."

"Oh, I did order more things. I wanted to wait for you with the furniture though. Since you want to paint the room."

"We will know the gender tomorrow, so I can paint this weekend, then we can look at furniture and finish it up in a couple weeks." he nodded. "We are a good team, Y/N."

"Yeah, we are." you agreed as you finished your chicken and went to wash your plates.

Soon, you felt his arms move around you as you put the dishes to dry.

The way he held you, you let yourself imagine what if he loved you. What if the baby wasn't an accident? What if he wanted to be here for you?

"Y/N, marry me."

"Billy," you groaned as you turned in his arms, seeing the serious expression on his face you fell silent.

"I am serious. I love you both so much, please, marry me." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, it was a jewellery box so it had to be a ring. And as he opened it, sure enough, it was. A rather expensive looking one at that. "I want to give you and our child the world. I want us to be a real family. Would you marry me?" You needed a moment to think.

"Yes. I will marry you." he smiled as he placed the ring on your finger, pulling you in for a breath-taking kiss.

"I love you so much." he said as his lips moved to your neck. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs as he lifted you and carried you to the bedroom.

"I love you too," you whispered to him as he began to remove your clothes, kissing your baby bump.

His eyes were filled with love, you couldn't look away.

---

The next day, you lay on the examination table with butterflies in your stomach.

You will finally know if you are having a girl or a boy.

Billy stood beside you, holding your hand as he smiled.

"As you can see, the head, two little hands and legs." the doctor said pointing everything out on the screen. "Are we ready to know the gender?"

"Yes." you said as Billy squeezed your hand.

"Let's see... Looks to be a little girl." she said as you looked at Billy whose eyes were glued to the monitor, smiling softly to himself.

"Then we can get the pink shoes you have been eyeing." you said as he finally looked at you.

During a recent trip to the mall, you found him in the kid's section when you were looking for some clothes. You found him standing there with a pink princess shoe in his hand as he smiled at the pink glittery object.

"Looks like we can." he said before he moved to place a kiss on your forehead.

You were really glad you judged him wrong.

You were glad he turned out to be a loving person and he grew into his potential. You knew he will be an amazing father and husband.

Judging by the small smile on his face, it said it all.

The little girl had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers and she wasn't even born yet.

When the doctor left to print out the photos for you, he turned to you, kissing your lips.

"I love you so much." he said before moving back to look at the screen. In the end, it was Billy who became attached to you and your daughter. You felt a wave of happiness wash over you as all of your insecurities and worries left your body.

All that was left was happiness.

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x plus size reader #billy hargrove x pregnant reader #billy hargrove x female reader #stranger things billy hargrove #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan · 2 months ago

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Scares and Thoughts

Author’s note: More of Hura in Husbandry and his darling reader. Thank you to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Cedric!

Summary: You take a pregnancy test, because you have bee having some strange cravings recently and your period has been nonexistent.

Warnings: pregnancy. panic. consideration of abortion. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Past =-= Next

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @felinisnoctis

You had been feeling poorly for a while, a bit aches in your body, a bit more emotional. Far more nauseous in the morning, but also in the afternoons as well.

You had been getting more tired recently. You were bummed out because you were gaining more weight recently, even though you have been trying to lose some weight and exercise more.

You got a notification on your phone that has your face drain of color. It has been three months since you added a period into your Period Tracker.

'Oh fuck me!' You think, in panic, 'could I be pregnant?'

You close your eyes and take in a few deep breaths, the only times you have had unprotected sex (or any sex really) was with Hura. You had taken the morning after pill when you had unsafe sex.

You also are on a long-term birth control that should keep such things at bay. Hura's words on 'unforseen side effects' of you eating Zaarius's drug chocolates come to mind.

You frown a little, if one of those 'unforeseen side effects' was pregnancy while on birth control and Hura didn't tell you. You were going to have a very LOUD and long conversation with Hura about hiding shit from you about medical stuff.

You don't have the best physical health- for a variety of reasons, family and genetics rolling and giving you the short end of the stick. Also being a twin- who was, naturally, premature at birth.

As well as having some other issues meant that carrying a child was... very risky for you. You hadn't ever really wanted to have a kid, if your siblings ever wanted to, and had a kid, you'd be the fun Auntie- and that you'd help take care of the kid.

You'd not talked about having kids or adopting one with Hura- mostly because you'd never thought about having that conversation with him. You know that Hura can be quite paternal at times, and is very fond of his younger brothers and cousins.

You go to the next city over- and make sure to keep a scar wrapped around your hair and face, while wearing some sunglasses as you buy a pregnancy test.

You squirm a little at the expression on the face of the cashier when they see the test that you want to buy. You frown a little at them, finding it uncomfortable and unfairly judgmental.

"If you want to," The cashier says with faux kindness in their voice, "You can use the test in our customer's bathroom."

"Th-thank you," You stutter and scan your card to pay for it and go to the restroom reading the instructions on the test- and taking a swig of your water bottle that carry with you everywhere you go.

You have had a voice in your head the entire time that was a low level hysterical screaming. Part of you wants to send a message to your siblings, but you want to wait. You are a Woman, you can woman up and deal with what the test says and... make a decision if... the test is... positive.

You read the results of the test and feel the anxiety claw at you. You close your eyes and lean against the wall of the bathroom stall. Pregnant. You are pregnant. Fuck.

You hadn't known that Astartes and base line humans, as Hura and the others on base call you and other humans could... interbreed. You have no idea what Hura is going to say or think.

Your hands are shaking, and you shove the test into your purse and flush the toilet. You wash your hands and face and run back to the bathroom stall and throw up.

There is a rasping, gasping noise, and someone sounds like they are in distress. You realize that it's you. You close your eyes and force yourself to calm down.

You use the calming techniques that you were taught as a child when your Anxiety started to become A Problem and it helps you calm down.

Fuck. That was tiring. You send a message to Hura that you want to have some space for a few days. You get a message from Hura that he's got a mission out for a few days- but that he loves you dearly and that if something is bothering you, that he's always there to listen. Always lovely little mouse.

You smile weakly at that and send him another message, [I know that. I love you too.]

You have a decision to make, are you going to keep the bundle of cells growing in your belly or not. You had never considered yourself to be very motherly, or seeking to be motherly.

You like kids, but you... don't think you'd be a good mom. You were wondering if you should abort the bundle of cells or keep it. The thought of keeping the bundle of cells has the panic rising in your chest again.

You rub your belly with one of your hands, you were going to talk to Hura about... about this surprise and... get a Medica Opinion, on if the child could even be viable.

Your Hura- you love him dearly, but your brain twinges as your eyes glass over as you recall what he looks like under his armor. You rub your nose, as something itches and drips, and you swear softly and grab some tissue paper to stem the flow of blood.

You didn't think Hura could conceive a child with you. Granted- you still had birth control, and took other measures to ensure that such a thing was limited.

Your family, you had been told was cursed with fertility. Catching and growing a child was very easy for the women in your family, was something that you had been warned, semi-playfully by your mother.

Oh! You were going to have to tell your mom- and siblings- both the of them about your... pregnancy. Your youngest sibling works in the military and is often far away- but you did send them emails and call at least weekly.

They came down to visit at least once every three months or so, per their schedule and military permitting, of course. Your other sibling worked in the medical field- and made a lot more money than you did, more successful.

... Both of your siblings were a lot more successful than you are. You are happy for them. That they are doing so well. With the baby on the way, and you grimace, that is going to be expensive, the medical bills, the doctor bills and visits, the prenatal and postnatal care.

All of the things you would need to get for the baby. Ugh. Perhaps you should talk to Hura about moving into the Base with him. That would certainly make Hura happy and it would cut down on your living expenses.

You have heard... rumors... that you had thought was... not true. About certain single mothers who have a Space Marine- and a child that ... in certain light... looks like a blend of the Marine and the Mother.

But, as you rub your belly... perhaps ... that might not be as... untrue and conspiracy theorist crazy as you had once thought it was. You know that Hura and the others have keener senses, so you make sure to wear a perfume (that didn't make you cough and sneeze) but would hopefully keep the pregnancy pheromones from been smelled.

You are very, very glad that Hura had been off on a mission of mercy- needing to help some brothers or cousins who had landed farther away that needed specialist care before being moved, or something.

There was a lot that Hura didn't tell you, or only partially told you. You understand that not knowing everything about your partner is fine. But... sometimes it felt like Hura knew more about you than you know about him, despite your best efforts.

You shiver a little and continue driving and park and stare at the Astartes Run clinic that you knew that Hura frequented working in. Same as that younger Apothecary- Cedric? Hura seemed to have all but adopted the younger marine.

It was very cute, and you had met Cedric more than once, awkward, terribly socially awkward, and he tried his best to be nice. Mostly didn't seem to have a clue on how to interact with you outside of Medical Situations.

He'd eased up over time, slowly at least, you think him and the other 'primaris marines' were terribly curious. Some of them seemed shyer and more skittish. Some were more cheerful and friendly.

You opened the app and tapped on the Astartes run clinic's app and saw what appointments were available for the week. You wonder if it was serendipity or something else.

There is an appointment open in thirty minutes from now. So, you decide to take the slot and put in the details requested. For some reason, when you had thought of going to one of the baby mama clinics that was human run, but something inside of you had murmured that it wasn't a good idea.

After all- if Astarte/human crossbreeding was a thing, why wasn't it known about? Or at least more than as fringe theories that were thought of as silly nonsense?

Unless it was known thing to happen, but for some reason, someone, or something was keeping it secret. You rub your face and let out a weak laugh, shaking your head.

No- that was just crazy talk. There is likely no crazy conspiracy going on where certain people, if they carry a hybrid child get kidnaped and stolen away for whatever reason.

That was as likely to happen as actual Human Killers. So, you get out of your car and head into the Astarte run clinic and fill in the other paperwork that the person at the desk handed you and you fill in your details. Again.

And sit in one of the human sized chairs as you wait to be called back and try not to scare yourself with silly nonsense. You get called back and the person to see you is Cedric.

"Oh! Hello Cedric, ah- Sorry, Apothecary Cedric," you say smiling up at him.

"Hello Miss," Cedric says, his ears a little red as he asks the normal questions.

"I took a home test-" You say licking your lips a little as you wrap your arms around your belly nervously, "For pregnancy, and it said that I was pregnant."

"Oh," Cedric says.

He's able to keep a professional demeanor, but internally he's panicking. "Do you want to be pregnant?"

"I... was surprised," You reply, "But... if the baby is healthy, I want to see the pregnancy through."

"Alright," Cedric says with a nod, "I... am not a specialist with pregnancy and obstetrics, but I will be reading up and researching."

He sends a message and gives her a list of pre-natal foods and pre-natal vitamins as well as exercises and other things that she needs to do in order to have a safe, healthy pregnancy.

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry sentience #space marine husbandry #warhammer #adeptus astartes #oc: hura #reader #reader insert #female reader #cw: pregancy #cw: abortion #cw: health concerns #cw: weight gain #cw: weight loss #oc: Cedric #pregnant!reader #In the Queue

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reasonsforhope · 1 year ago

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Mexico’s Supreme Court threw out all federal criminal penalties for abortion Wednesday [September 6], ruling that national laws prohibiting the procedure are unconstitutional and violate women’s rights in a sweeping decision that extended Latin American’s trend of widening abortion access.

The high court ordered that abortion be removed from the federal penal code. The ruling will require the federal public health service and all federal health institutions to offer abortion to anyone who requests it.

“No woman or pregnant person, nor any health worker, will be able to be punished for abortion,” the Information Group for Chosen Reproduction, known by its Spanish initials GIRE, said in a statement.

Some 20 Mexican states, however, still criminalize abortion. While judges in those states will have to abide by the court’s decision, further legal work will be required to remove all penalties.

Celebration of the ruling soon spilled out onto social media.

“Today is a day of victory and justice for Mexican women!” Mexico’s National Institute for Women wrote in a message on the social media platform X, formerly known as Twitter. The government organization called the decision a “big step” toward gender equality...

The Details

The court said on X that “the legal system that criminalized abortion” in Mexican federal law was unconstitutional because it “violates the human rights of women and people with the ability to gestate.” ...

-via AP News, September 6, 2023. Article continues below.

The decision came two years after the court ruled that abortion was not a crime in one northern state. That ruling set off a slow state-by-state process of decriminalizing it.

Last week, the central state of Aguascalientes became the 12th state to drop criminal penalties.

Abortion-rights activists will have to continue seeking legalization state by state, though Wednesday’s decision should make that easier. State legislatures can also act on their own to erase abortion penalties.

For now, the ruling does not mean that every Mexican women will be able to access the procedure immediately, explained Fernanda Díaz de León, sub-director and legal expert for women’s rights group IPAS.

What it does do — in theory — is obligate federal agencies to provide the care to patients. That’s likely to have a cascade of effects...

Lifting Abortion Restrictions Across Latin America

Across Latin America, countries have made moves to lift abortion restrictions in recent years, a trend often referred to as a “green wave,” in reference to the green bandanas carried by women protesting for abortion rights in the region.

The changes in Latin America stand in sharp contrast to increasing restrictions on abortion in parts of the United States. Some American women were already seeking help from Mexican abortion rights activists to obtain pills used to end pregnancies.

Mexico City was the first Mexican jurisdiction to decriminalize abortion 15 years ago.

After decades of work by activists across the region, the trend picked up speed in Argentina, which in 2020 legalized the procedure. In 2022, Colombia, a highly conservative country, did the same.

-via AP News, September 6, 2023. Headings added.

#abortion #mexico #latin america #supreme court #argentina #colombia #green wave #pro choice #right to choose #women's rights #abortion access #feminism #good news #hope #hope posting #healthcare #healthcare access

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cherienymphe · 2 years ago

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When The Party’s Over XIII (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, forced pregnancy, implied abortion, forbidden relationship, violence, jealousy, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, corruption, public sex, innocent reader, Heyward!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | divider by @silkholland

➥ series masterlist

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

You sat on your bed, staring at the pregnancy test with the sickest feeling in your stomach.

It was the sixth one you’d taken, and although you’d begrudgingly accepted your fate after the fourth, you still just needed to be sure. You needed to make sure you weren’t hallucinating, or it wasn’t a false positive or something. You tried to remember if that was actually a thing.

You stood up, crossing your arms over your chest and staring out of your window.

You were pregnant.

You knew it was true, but even as the thought bounced around in your head, you still didn’t quite believe it. You couldn’t be…and yet the tests didn’t lie. You’d felt like you were on autopilot when you bought them, stuffing them into your purse before Bunny or Cam finally joined you at the register. For some reason, you hadn’t expected them to be positive. Periods became irregular for all kinds of reasons, namely stress, and God knows you’d had a lot of that lately.

You’d initially forced yourself not to freak out, telling yourself to at least wait. Well, now the time had come…and you were freaking out. You never missed a pill, not quite ready to look into the kind of birth control that required putting something in you whether it be a shot in your arm or some foreign object between your legs. After that first morning, you didn’t want a repeat of running into someone you’d rather not while trying to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

For obvious reasons, Rafe didn’t really like to use condoms. You’d tried once or twice while you’d been waiting for said birth control to be ready for pickup, and he’d made his distaste obvious, lips brushing your ear as he begged you to let him take it off. In the throes of passion, you made a decision that wasn’t the smartest, and you’d only been grateful you hadn’t come to regret it. Which is why your current predicament was…mind-boggling.

You stared down at the familiar pills, turning them over with a frown, sinking your teeth into your lip.

How could you be pregnant? You didn’t know why you kept wondering about that. After all, in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t really matter how you came to be pregnant. Using several forms of birth control wasn’t 100% effective, let alone just one. Wondering how this could’ve happened wasn’t going to change anything.

No.

What mattered was what you were going to do about it.

That was the only question that mattered, and tears kissed your eyes. You loved kids. They were brutally honest, funny, and didn’t really have the kind of fear needed to prevent them from doing the most life endangering things. They were just little humans trying to develop into their own persons…

…but you were eighteen.

You wanted to go to college next year. You wanted to drink and travel and actually experience your life before dedicating it to someone else. Was it selfish? Sure, but you were barely one step into adulthood. It wasn’t wrong to be selfish, and yet, with all of that being said, you didn’t feel right about considering your most obvious choice here.

You sat back down, staring at your wall.

Rafe had made it clear that he wasn’t boyfriend material. He wasn’t the kind of guy you needed to be with, but was it possible that a crappy boyfriend could be a good dad? Did he still have that right to be given a chance to prove himself in that regard? Did he have the right to know? Or were you kidding yourself? There was some part of you that hoped this baby would make Rafe grow up and be better for its sake…

…but there was a part of you that wondered if he’d seize this opportunity.

He’d made it clear that he didn’t want you to leave him, and his word choice during that phone call was not lost on you. He’d held nothing back as he called your breakup a mere attempt at leaving him, and you swallowed. If you told Rafe…you might regret it forever. Rafe was a lot of things, you’d come to learn, but would he really use his own child against you?

You laughed almost as soon as you thought that.

If Rafe could hurt your brother in an attempt to stay with him, then there was no doubt that he’d use your child to get the same result. Even still, you didn’t want to get rid of it. You didn’t feel right about that no matter how much you knew you needed to, and a few tears escaped as you hoped Rafe would prove you wrong.

You wondered why you even wanted him to, to be honest. Sure, as much as you would if you had to, you didn’t actually want to get rid of this baby, but was it worth everything that would follow? Was it worth Pope and your family finding out? Pope hating you? Possibly even hating the baby too? More importantly, was it worth forgiving Rafe?

It would be pretty difficult to co-parent with a man you were starting to hate. All the things he did to you aside, he’d seriously hurt Pope just to get back at you, to hurt you. You would’ve never thought he could sink so low, and in this moment, that was unforgiveable to you. A baby would change things, would force your feelings and attitude to change for its sake, and quite frankly, you weren’t ready yet. You probably never would be.

Feeling angry and overwhelmed, you swiped the pregnancy tests and tossed them in your garbage, hating what your life had become.

You nervously looked around for a familiar blond, Cam at your side. You’d agreed to going to another party with only one reason in mind, and his name was Rafe Cameron. As much as you wanted to talk to him about the baby, you needed to get some other things out of the way first, and your anger fueled your courage to confront him about Pope.

You had no intention of seeing him alone, barely wanting anything to do with him.

At a party with tons of witnesses around made you feel better, safer, and you sipped on your sprite. If Cam thought your refusal for alcohol was weird, she didn’t voice it. Bunny had disappeared moments ago, and with no sign of anyone from that familiar trio, you were starting to think that you’d come out for nothing.

Then Cam had called his name.

“Kelce!”

You turned, following her line of sight and watching her run into her boyfriend’s arms. As expected, he wasn’t alone, and you didn’t miss the way Topper made himself scarce as your eyes met Rafe’s. Your ex-boyfriend’s face was even, unreadable, but even without being a mind reader, you had a pretty good guess as to where his head was at.

Taking a deep breath, you approached him.

“We need to talk.”

You didn’t miss the slight smirk that danced along his lips, and you felt anger flare up at the light chuckle he let out.

“Alright,” he said, starting to move past you when you stopped him.

“No. Here.”

You could tell that that pissed him off, smirk dropping and eyes hardening as he stared you down. It was clear he did not want to have this conversation in the front yard of some random’s house, surrounded by partygoers. It was like looking into the face of some evil doppelgänger, finding it hard to believe that this was the same man who’d told you he loved you. The same man who’d given you your first real kiss, who’d taken your virginity, who’d been damn near perfect at one time.

Who’d gotten you pregnant.

Rafe shoved his hands into his pockets, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek as he waited for you to start talking.

“What is wrong with you?”

You didn’t know how else to broach the subject, and Rafe simply blinked at you, shrugging.

“Am I supposed to just know what you’re talking about or…?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Rafe. Don’t do that,” you spat.

He simply stared at you, but the hint of a smile on his pink lips had you swallowing down the urge to hit him.

“You attacked Pope,” you reminded him. “You and Topper jumped him.”

Rafe hummed to himself, looking around.

“Well, you know how things can get between the Kooks and Pogues around here,” was all he said, and you wanted to cry.

“You promised me-.”

“I promised you what?” he wondered, gaze meeting yours again. “…I remember promising my girlfriend something…”

Your stomach twisted, and Rafe tilted his head, slowly dragging his eyes over your frame.

“…but I don’t have one anymore, right? So, what did I promise you?”

With Rafe’s confirmation of your suspicions, you took a step back, shaking your head in disbelief.

“So, that’s how it’s going to be?” you tearfully wondered. “I break up with you and…you hurt my brother? To what? Get back at me? Hurt me? Make me change my mind?”

Rafe took a deep breath, taking a step towards you, and then another until he was so close you could smell that familiar cologne of his. His chest almost brushed yours, and your heart started to race as he looked down his nose at you.

“Do whatever you want, beautiful,” he whispered. “…but don’t expect me to uphold some bullshit obligation to someone who tossed me aside like trash.”

You frowned at him, opening your mouth when he continued.

“I don’t owe you shit.”

You swallowed.

“…and I owe that Pogue even less-.”

“That Pogue is my brother,” you sneered.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me, now?” he wondered, head tilted, a deep frown on his face. “You think that means shit to me?”

You glanced away.

“If you want it to…I’m sure you can think of something to change my mind.”

Your gaze was stricken when it met his again, and your lips trembled.

“Did you think I was joking when I told you you’d be sorry?” he scoffed, laughing to himself. “You know, I never thought you were dumb. Never.”

He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head at you.

“Sweet. Innocent. Too innocent, maybe, but never dumb,” he whispered. “…but you must be if you think I’m just going to let you walk away from me.”

You were frozen, too scared and shocked to move, and Rafe’s face grew stony, cold eyes looking between your tearful ones.

“You are mine,” he slowly told you. “I made sure of that when I spread your legs without a second thought.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and for a moment, you actually forgot how to breathe.

“…and if it wasn’t for you, I would’ve made sure this whole island knew a long time ago.”

“You ass-.”

“I still might.”

Your skin grew cold, and there wasn’t an ounce of humor on Rafe’s face as he threatened you while everyone around you was none the wiser.

“Do you have any idea how much I can make your life a living hell? Hmm?”

Against your will, a few tears escaped, skipping down your face, and you stared at Rafe like he was a total stranger. He reached up then, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks and wiping them away, a small sigh leaving him.

“No guy in his right mind would even look in your direction, and the friends you think you’ve got?” he paused. “Bunny loves a good party…and Cam is just so head over heels for Kelce. I could make them both laughing stocks if I wanted.”

You blinked, and Rafe’s hands were still on your face.

“I will turn this whole island against you, including your brother, and when it’s all said and done,” he quietly told you, leaning in and kissing your forehead. “I’m still going to fuck you every single night because I always get what I want.”

His words had you throwing yourself away from him, stumbling away in horror. Rafe didn’t look bothered, at all, wiping his hand over the bottom half of his face and looking at you like you two were having a regular old conversation.

“Like I said,” he started, face falling and actually looking like he felt bad for you. You knew better though. “You’re not stupid, beautiful. So, don’t be.”

He brushed past you, his hand coming up to graze your waist as he did, and everyone around you was too drunk to notice your distress. As terrified and shaken as you were, you couldn’t deny how grateful you were feeling. You hadn’t even brought up the predicament you found yourself in because Rafe, unknowingly, had made the decision for you.

He’d shown you exactly who he would be if you had this baby.

Pope’s tone was bordering along irritated as he asked you what you wanted. You stood in his doorway, more nervous and terrified than you’d ever been. He was fiddling with something that you no doubt wouldn’t understand, hardly paying you any attention, but you knew that wouldn’t last for much longer. You reached up, rubbing your neck with both hands.

“You have money saved up, right? Like…for emergencies and stuff?”

That got his attention, and your brother officially stopped what he was doing, turning to look at you with a frown. He stared at you long and hard, clearly trying to gage where this conversation was going.

“Yeah,” he slowly said.

You blew out a breath, licking your lips as you glanced away. You knew you just needed to come out and say it, but you felt like you were going to be sick all over his floor. Considering your situation, you probably were.

“I…I need your help,” you choked out, meeting his gaze again.

Pope chuckled to himself, leaning back in his chair, and you could tell by the look on his face that he thought you needed money for some useless bullshit or something. Your lips parted, and the longer you hesitated, the more your eyes watered. You cleared your throat, looking down, shaking and trying to stop yourself from throwing up.

“Hey.”

You looked up at the sound of his voice, and his expression was completely different, now. There was a frown on his face, and Pope was leaning forward, eyes focused on your tearful ones.

“What’s wrong? What do you need money for?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, and you looked towards the ceiling.

“Pope…you have to promise me that you…” you hesitated, shifting on your feet. “You have to promise me that you won’t say anything to mom and dad.”

You looked back to him, gaze pleading.

“…and you have to swear you won’t get mad.”

Pope snorted, shaking his head.

“No way,” he laughed, and you bit your lip, reluctantly accepting that.

You sighed to yourself before nodding.

“Okay,” you said, turning away when he spoke again.

“Y/N.”

You looked at him, and any humor was wiped from his face as he stood, now, studying you.

“Are you serious, right now? It’s…it’s that serious? I need to be sworn to secrecy?”

“Pope, I… I really fucked up, okay?” you admitted. “…and I’m trying to un-fuck it all up, and I need your help.”

His shoulders drooped, and you could see the concern on his face.

“…but if you can’t keep this between us, then that’s fine, and I’ll figure something else out-.”

“Okay, okay!” he relented, raising his hands. “I swear I won’t say anything, and…I guess I’ll try not to get mad.”

His face was as serious as you were sure yours was, and you believed him. There really was no going back, and so, fighting the urge to hurl, you told him.

“I need money…for an abortion.”

You knew that would be the last thing he ever expected, and the way his entire demeanor changed only confirmed that. His face didn’t just fall, it twisted into a mix of confusion and disbelief, like he heard your words but didn’t quite understand them. His mouth fell open before snapping it shut, and Pope crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side.

Your brother turned away, staring at the wall as his frown deepened, and when he finally looked at you again, there was nothing calm about the look in his eyes.

“What?”

“You said-.”

“I said I would try,” he corrected. “What-what the hell do you mean an abortion? This is a joke, right?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” you tearfully fired back, gesturing to yourself. “Look at me! I’m asking you of all people for help, Pope. I don’t know what else to do!”

You had considered going to Cam or Bunny, knowing they had the money and would agree in a heartbeat, but that was too risky. You didn’t trust Cam not to let it slip to Kelce, and you didn’t trust Bunny not to tell Cam who could let it slip to Kelce. The chances were too great, and if Kelce knew, Rafe would find out one way or another. Either straight from his mouth or Topper’s.

You decided that you had to bite the bullet and give Pope a crumb of the truth.

You didn’t need to tell him everything, especially the big unknown he’d wonder about. You and Rafe were over, and you intended to keep it that way, so there was no reason for Pope to even know. For him to get mad over something that would stay in the past. He wouldn’t be able to go back in time and prevent you from dating Rafe, but he could help you get away from him for good, because there was no doubt in your mind that if Rafe knew you were pregnant, your life as you knew it would be over.

Pope’s face crumbled at the look on yours, and you watched him swallow, jaw clenching as he turned away.

“Get out.”

You weren’t sure you heard him, at first, and you blinked.

“What?” you whispered.

“Get. Out,” he slowly repeated, still refusing to look at you as he said the words loud and clear.

You needed to know what he was thinking, and you needed to know what he was going to do, but you nodded even though he couldn’t see. Reluctantly, you did just that, feeling like crap for so many reasons. Maybe it was the hormones that had you crying again, or maybe your life was just becoming that tragic that it was the only appropriate response.

You sat down on your bed, thinking about Rafe’s words and the way they scared you to your core. Rafe didn’t want to let you go, and there was a huge part of you that was terrified he wouldn’t. He had money, so much more than you, and he had the influence that you could only dream of. You believed him when he said he’d make your life hell, and while you needed to figure out how to deal with that when that day came, you would be damned if he used an innocent child to do it.

You didn’t sleep much, stewing over your conversations with both Pope and Rafe, feeling like you were at a crossroads and your life could go either way. It was so early, the sun not even peeking over the horizon when there was a knock on your door. You hadn’t been asleep for about an hour, and you had resigned yourself to staying awake, anyway.

When you answered it, you were somewhat shocked to find Pope on the other side. By the look on his face, you wondered how much sleep he’d been able to get too. He didn’t look the happiest as he looked at you, and weirdly enough, it felt relieving to see the disappointment in his eyes. It was a reminder that you’d really gotten yourself into some mess, and you were determined to never make Pope look at you like that again.

“I’ve got pop’s truck for the day,” he finally said, scratching the back of his head. “There’s a Planned Parenthood in Charlotte.”

You perked up at that, eyes widening a bit.

“They take walk-ins, but it’s based on urgency and capacity and stuff like that,” he quietly mumbled. “So, we need to leave like…now.”

Your eyes watered, and Pope wouldn’t look at you, his gaze focused on his feet, but you didn’t care. Your stomach flipped for an entirely different reason, and you shakily nodded.

“Okay,” you breathed. “Yeah, okay, let me… I’m gonna get dressed.”

Pope nodded, turning away, and you stared after him before closing your door and searching for something to put on.

You laid in bed, staring at your ceiling with a deep frown.

In truth, you didn’t want to get an abortion. Not fully, and that decision was definitely something you always thought you should be 100% sure about. You’d been sure that you didn’t want Rafe to have any kind of hold on you. You’d been sure of that, but that was about it. In truth, you guessed that was all that mattered.

Pope had been quiet the whole ride there, and you’d accepted that until the drive back. You closed your eyes, still recalling the way he’d yelled at you when you refused to answer the one question you’d been dreading.

“You…you can’t tell me?”

His tone had been incredulous in the truck, and his eyes were wide as he looked between you and the road.

“No…I can’t.”

“Are you serious, right now? You remember where we’re driving from, right?”

The sound of your hand striking his arm had been loud in the vehicle, and you blinked back tears.

“You swear me to secrecy, I literally paid, and you can’t even tell me who?”

You had turned your head towards the window, struggling to swallow.

“I know you know,” he’d spat. “You’re not that kind of girl. You know who it is, and you know what else?”

You’d avoided his eye, but you could feel his heated gaze boring into the side of your face.

“I think it’s the same guy who did that shit to your neck.”

You hadn’t responded, merely keeping your gaze forward, and when it became clear you weren’t budging, you heard Pope mumble something to himself. That had been hours ago, and the last time you saw him, you’d been staring at his back after slamming the truck door closed.

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to thank him.

His anger left a sour taste in your mouth, but it was justified. You knew that much. Pope had every right to be angry and confused and concerned. That was all it really boiled down to, really—concern. Pope was scared and concerned, and rightfully so. It scared you that he made the connection between the incident at Rafe’s house and your pregnancy, and his anger only reminded you of the fact that if he knew it was Rafe, it would be hell.

The little tiff between Pope’s friends and Rafe would be an all out war.

You were thinking that the full weight of what you did would finally hit you in a week or so when you heard it. A noise outside of your window. You sat up with a slight frown, mind racing as you wondered if it was Pope. It was too late for anyone to be up and outside, but you still found yourself slowly moving towards the window.

You’d been locking it lately, too paranoid and worried.

You didn’t think Rafe would stoop to that level, but the key word was ‘think’. There were a lot of things you didn’t think Rafe would do that he’d done. Like try to drown you, hurt Pope because you dumped him, threaten you at a party. Your curtains were closed, but you still stared at them like you could see through them.

When you heard another noise, you were too scared to pull them back, too afraid of what or who you might see. Your heart started racing, and you just reached for your curtains when you heard a noise…like someone trying to open your window. It was locked, of course, but the sound made your blood run cold, nonetheless.

It was impossible, but it was like he knew. It was like he knew what you did, what you’d deprived him of, and when you yanked the curtain back, only an empty yard met you. No one was there, and as you stared into the empty darkness, it felt like someone was staring back.

#dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe cameron #dark rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #obx #Outer Banks #obx fic #rafe cameron fanfiction

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