#abiet it different ways but still

[theramblingsofadork]

Dissociate (verb): To disconnect from yourself and the world around you.

“There was a time I felt lost. Hopeless. Uncertain of what the future held; wondering if it was even worth going forward towards at all. A time when all the colors of the world blurred together, and I questioned who I was.

“It was a dark time. One I’d prefer to forget. But at the end of it all, there was a ray of hope to help pull me out of it.”

“Sonic and his friends reminded me that life is still worth fighting for. I found myself again, and was able to shake off the guilt of the past.”

“I owe them a lot for that.”

[libraryfag]

hiii basil i assume you enjoyed chess.... asking for your thoughts on it all fav song fav character etc... general musings..

hiii gerry i loved chess so much its hard to even express my thoughts but ill try my best. idk it was so brilliant the only critisism i have is that there were a lot of songs when there could of been a lot less but i don't really have a problem with that because i <3 music and don't really care about those things and i enjoyed all the totally unnessacary songs exept for the one before the final chess match which was kinda boring tbh.

I'd never seen a musical performed in concert before so i didn't really have any expectations for it but I was pleasantly suprised by how they had full costumes and an (abiet simple) set and full dance numbers etc. (side note: i thought the chess dances were super cool). Though I found the way the set was basically just a slideshow presentation super funny. Also I like how it showed the full orcastra because as a former part of the crew i can sympathise with how little appriciated they are. I'm also obsessed with the symbolism of the black and white costumes...

There were so many songs and i haven't actually had time to listen to the soundtrack yet so its very very hard for me to pick a favourite so far. If i had to guess tho, I think if you asked me later i would say that One Night In Bankok is my favourite because i tend to pick the most boppiest songs and i can totally see why its the most popular song.. I love love love Nobody's Side and the artbiters song and it was so INSANE when they were reprised exept in totally different contexts likr augh.....

As for my favourite character.. florence <3 <3 i love idina she has such a powerful voice and she's a brilliant actor it was sooo...... And FREDDIE i loved to hate his stupid cocky fucking self obsessed face for the first 2/3s of the show and then he sang pity the child and he broke my heart. like he's still an idiot but a tragic idiot. and the. the fucking FOILS of it all. like how at the start Freddie was motivated to play by his anticommunist ideals wheras Anatoly just wanted to play chess. but by the end after Anatoly gets maniplulated by literally everyone around him he has to be reminded by Freddie that it is just a game of chess.... Speaking of which, it's so hard to find Western media about the cold war that isn't just: Communism = Bad. Capitalism = Good even today. So it was so refreshing to see something that had a little more nuance especially for something initially created during Regan.

And thats about it <3 i hope you enjoyed my ramble

[coolauntlilith]

I may have jumped to respond a bit to quickly in assuming that comment was a different tone than I thought. I'm sorry for that lol

I don't think he died *as* Blackbeard, I just think that the story written for Ed to be able to be just Ed (plus my personal theory), Izzy had to die. I don't think he lost unicorn status, I don't even believe the crew ever saw Izzy as Blackbeard, its just us the audience seeing that connection because it was Izzy pushing Ed to be Blackbeard and Ed being the face of Blackbeard - they just were it together. But the crew never treated him *as* Blackbeard. He was "their dick." When Stede revived Ed, Izzy was among the crew and already belonged to them even if he wasn't quite the unicorn yet. If on the whole narrative tool thing, he just was in this case. Izzy was as much of Blackbeard, at least before the events of s1, as Ed was. It'd been his whole life. Him being just Izzy the last 6 episodes wasn't a loss just bc he died? He became integral to the crew. He bonds with Stede, he validated the others belief in the curse, he joined in for Calypso's birthday!! Its not a loss just because it was short?? The crew loved him, gave him a proper burial instead of tossing him at sea. I personally feel weird about his prosthetic being used as a grave marker but others have said better than me about that.

And I still don't think it was a cruel joke, and my personal stance is because Izzy is the representative of "piracy." We were already getting a taste of it just a bit in s1, but in s2 just things like with Blackbeard and the wedding massacre, Ned Low being a terror, and with Ricky we really see a harder side to piracy outside of our crew and some small towns the crew stops at. Ricky obliterates all of Zheng's ships and effectively had Spanish Jackie's halted at least for a second. Piracy is being taken out. And Izzy's speech to Ricky should have warned us all. Honestly. And with Izzy giving it - he is the representative of "piracy." But I don't think it's new piracy. We watched Stede create a mutiny of Ned Low's crew against Low and Zheng had this way different style of pirating despite being brutal herself when need be - I think piracy, at least in OFMD isn't inherently just like Blackbeard pre-ofmd or even just like Low. I think piracy is community that finds itself in whatever way it needs to and Zheng and Auntie (abiet a hard relationship until Olu), Stede and the crew of the Revenge, and even Spanish Jackie's bar with her 20 husband's (that got soft canonized as including women husband's? So bisexual queen, that Jackie) is telling us the audience that piracy that works is a rejection of the empire heteronormativity and toxic masculinity. I think the biggest tell that the Blackbeard-esque piracy was nonsustainable in terms of true community was Fang's conversation with Ed. Ed was a terror as Blackbeard, they'd worked together for years and years and only after "Blackbeard died" kinda and Ed is in his potato sack trying to be Ed does Fang open up to him. Idk, I have my own thoughts on this theory and I haven't seen anyone else talk about Izzy being piracy except the Muppets comparison so take it or leave it lol

And despite all the Blackbeard stuff and my thoughts on Izzy being "piracy," he was more than that. That's why so many not-fans became Izzy fans. I Loved him this season, and it was bc he was very well acted and written. A flatter or more static character wouldn't have gotten this reaction out of all of us, it'd just be the canyons.

About agency -- If you think it's stupid, too, that he got shot and died vs Stede surviving at least two stabbings, Ed surviving getting stabbed, Auntie surviving an explosion (I'm glad she lived but damn lol), I agree. I think its a failure somewhere I the writing and they didn't give him a more??? Better death? I like your idea that he saves someone. I personally would have liked it to be maybe Jim if not Stede bc Jim is wearing one of his gloves in the end and it makes me think they were closer than shown.

And I think I'm only confused on the part you talk about independent elements vs the whole. I just think the overall flow of the story or the overall steps in the show all work really well and flow? I feel like i just saw it all fit together really well, so trying to take out Izzy's arc(?) to examine it doesn't seem useful? I think im misunderstanding you there but idk. Rewatching, I felt like I could see Izzy's death from s1 so I'm just confused

You did not use homophobic or transphobic in your text at all. That was a reach I've made because, following the izzy tag and ofmd tag, I saw a good handful of people saying things like that. That it was homophobic that Izzy died because he had a queer arc, making this byg's. Or how bc Izzy did drag, it was transphobic to kill him off despite at least one other drag queen and the canon trans character Jim still with us?? But you didn't say those words. I kinda want to apologize for that bc I jumped, thinking I needed to. I am a little surprised you haven't seen it tho. Like not even a single post? Bc it was going real big for a second there on my timeline here on tumblr. I don't use Twitter lol. I'm insulted lmao

I hope I spelled everything right. I've tried proof reading it and I don't know where to cut bc I'm trying to be understandable.... but I'm sorry it's so long again.

I like how I'm an "Izzy Hater" just for the fact I didn't become delusional and hinge the entirety of a show on one of the antagonists living or dying. 🙄

Like I legitimately liked Izzy. I was actually very sad he died.

But Izzy isn't the main character. Today I'm seeing posts that are of the sentiment, "we never said he was," but the hard core Izzy stans sure have been acting like this is equivalent to, idk. Killing Eve.

There's been great posts discussing Izzy being the show's antagonist within the crew and discussing the toxic dance that was Blackbeard and Izzy Hands. A very solid argument has been that Izzy couldn't be around for Ed to be Ed.

My personal argument is that Izzy was fated to die all the way back from S1. That he is the representative of "piracy." And as piracy is ending or dying out, Izzy dying represents that.

I do have problems with Izzy dying. But also I don't have enough of an issue to have deluded myself into calling this Bury Your Gays, I don't think Jenkins is a homophobe or transphobe like I've seen him be called on here, and I don't think it's transphobia just from a viewing perspective of Jim being trans and having had a beautiful arc both seasons and the Wee John being Calypso and not dying either??? Like the entire cast is queer, yall are so off your rockers with some takes that I have no sympathy for even though I was upset too.

It's genuinely concerning just how differently you all watched the show.

And as like a final take away - I guess the canyon happened bc people were horrendous to Izzy fans. That's not acceptable, I'm sorry that happened. This is an ahistorical romcom, the other extreme end of this fandom is wrong as well but in this case worse imo. That's shit behavior and true Izzy haters deserve to trip and knock out their front teeth for online harassment like that.

But having fucking critical thought (having a small opinion in my case) isn't hating on something. Damn. Throw your diploma away because it's fucking useless if this is your reaction to anything that doesn't fit into your fanon.

Jesus fucking christ. Drink some damn water and chill out.

[doomednarrative]

God i have so many complicated feelings when it comes to Murdoc honestly.

Because here's the thing: He is objectively my favorite member of Gorillaz along with 2D. But I have specific reasons for it.

For 1. He's just fun to draw. His design is fun and its fun to draw weird experimental shit with him.

For 2 tho, it goes a bit deeper than that.

Murdoc is a complex character. Hes a fuckin asshole and I'm in no way erasing any of that. But he is complex and all the shit hes been thru has shaped him into who he is. Its clear half of the shit he does is genuinely just because hes a dick, and the other half could arguably be attributed to other various traumas and things hes suffered from, and some of his actions are 100% his way of trying to cope with all of that, abiet it being unhealthy as shit and just not at all the way you should deal with your problems.

It should be obvious to people if you've followed me for any length of time, but theres a whole list of assholes and villain characters that I like and find interesting. And I'm not of the camp to try and woobify them or erase the bad shit theyve done. I enjoy them because theyre interesting and fucked up and because its fictional, and that in no way reflects who I actually am as a person, because if said characters were real I'd find them despicable. But in fiction its fun to rip them apart and analyse them and theres merit in doing that for the sake of fun sometimes.

With Murdoc specifically tho its a bit of a different case.

When I originally got into Gorillaz, it was after The Fall had been released, but before Humanz wad announced and the fandom itself was a bit dead at that point. Plastic Beach was the last major story arc, and as someone who was living in an abusive house at the time and just starting to come to terms with how much I actually suffered in that house, the story of it all hit me hard. I connected with both Murdoc and 2D at the time and tbh I used the story of Gorillaz as a way to cope with some of the shit I was going thru.

And i really did connect with Murdoc a bit. I was an angry teen who was being abused and having a horrible time and I wanted to lash out and run away, but I was also immensely sad and felt lonely and didnt have any real healthy ways to cope with my shit, so I felt destructive. (More towards myself, but still.)

Murdoc was someone I related to a lot because he had been thru similar, and I used him and his shit as a way to navigate my own feelings.

But at the same time, he also became the prime example of what I did Not want to happen to me as a person who had suffered trauma. I didnt want to cope the way he does, I didn't want to hurt the people around me just because I'd been hurt. I wanted to be the opposite. I wanted to be Better than that.

And I still do. I'm still like that.

Murdoc is a character I enjoy immensely because I find him interesting and layered, but hes also the perfect example to me of the very kind of person I Never want to be, and somehow that just makes him more interesting too.

[dangan-happy]

To anyone, it probably isn’t that big of a deal, but last week I got braces and I’m still feeling really uncomfortable with how they look and the fact that I’ll be stuck with them for so long...I’d just like a little positivity if that’s alright. (Let Shrek back into DICE)

Please do not think it is not a big deal Anon! Braces are from what I understand are very painful objects in ones mouth, correct? I have never had such items placed on my teeth for a long period of time, it must be excruciating not being able to remove them.

Fret not Anon! I shall do my best to give you hope!

Although you are uncomfortable with them currently, you will get used to them as time goes on. Of course it will take awhile but perhaps you can grow to loving how you look with them. And you may look at the outlook when the time comes to remove them! 

You shall get through this Anon, I know you will. You can always come back if you feel insecure with these braces, I will do my utmost best to help you. That is something I will stand by.

Tenko had braces for a little while, too.

Tenko was kind of nervous about how they look, but she got used to them (and even thought they were kind of cute!). They may hurt for a day or two after getting them put on or tightened, or feel weird for a little while, but Tenko promises the feeling will go away!

Don’t tell your dentist Tenko said this, but all that stuff they tell you not to eat with braces? So long as you’re careful with hard foods and clean your braces after gummy foods, you can go ahead and eat them!

Well, it's not like I can necessarily have braces in the first place, so don't exactly know where you're coming from. Although they do sound rather painful to have..

But I can promise you something Anon, and that is the fact that the braces won't be something that you'll be stuck with forever. eventually they will have to come off some day, and even if they don't for quite a while, it will get to the point that you forget about their existence in the first place. At least, that is what my Inner Voice is saying.

Just remember to still take care of your teeth of course.The usual daily brushing and flossing abiet in different than usual methods should suffice on their own. Either way I hope that your experience braces isn't too bad and I wish you the best of luck with managing them.

[danddymaro]

|Nightly encounter| Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary; Being one of earth mightiest doesn't excuse someone from nightmares. The reader is struggling to find ease after a night terror. In her search for answers, she comes across someone else, who knows just how it feels. It's a pretty dry little story, nothing too exciting, but just alil romantic. Usually, people just go to the story, I do so myself, so I'll say now ;

Italics are a person's thoughts. example; 'sample.' (f/n) , (l/n) = Reader's First Name, Last Name. (e/c) = eye color (h/c) = hair color Timeskips and/ or changes in scenery are both identified by the little periods I put to separate them. While I do love filling space with a description about just every little thing, it can get tedious, forgive me. I, of course, own nothing but the story itself. The characters mentioned and used are not property of me of course. Ok, here we go.

       She sat restlessly in the middle of the now uncomfortable bed with a rapidly pounding heartbeat. With a small hand tightly pressed on top of the accelerated muscle, she began to try and find a steady rhythm for her breath to take.

But it was a fruitless task…

The Darkness that surrounded the (h/c) haired young woman made her growing illusive mind play tricks on her, and soon enough her eyes dashed left and right in complete paranoia. Every inch of the room seemed to be infested by evil demons, all of which begged to dig their sharp, monstrous teeth into fresh human flesh. From across the room, she could almost swear upon everything holy in this land that evil eyes stared dead at her...eagerly waiting for her to near it and fall into a trap. “For god sakes, I'm an avenger damn it !” she said through gritted teeth, but as her eyes stared at the furthest corner, even more evil shapes began to swirl, manifesting into lanky creatures.

‘Nope, nope, nope’ she chanted in her head, trying to keep those maddening thoughts from overcoming her.

     With haste she jumped from her bed, and quickly made a path outside of the room, deciding to not let her eyes fall anywhere but that path to freedom and in a few long strides she reached the outside of the room.

Standing motionlessly, she craned her neck back to glare at the closed door that lead to her room, and with that final glance back at the cursed room, she grimaced, not feeling too keen on returning so soon. She felt a chill run up her spine at the thought of returning and going back. Rigidly she turned back towards the direction of the kitchen, walking briskly.

Not too slow, but not too suspiciously quick...

‘ Maybe a bit of honey and milk will ease me, or some tea perhaps?’ she pondered rubbing her warm hands over her goose-bump riddled arms. ‘Or fuck it a drink? Can't really stay awake when you're completely sauced, can you?’ She contemplated, trying to smile, though it was pretty much another failed attempt at comforting herself.

‘A drink… yeah,’ she decided. Anything to keep her at ease at this point. At her age, it felt ridiculous to have these nightmares. And at her status? it was just foolish.

“Earth’s mightiest," she grumbled, dejectedly.

“I'm still the same wuss, ”

…..................................................................................................

  There was not a soul in sight, which in a way didn't help the dark feeling of loneliness to fade. However, it was slightly to her taste, a way better deal. The last thing she needed was someone asking too many questions. She’d spill the beans and then the whole team would make her a laughing stock. She could already imagine all the jabs they’d take at her.

Though she had good relationships with the rest of the team, she knew it was something they wouldn't let drop so easily, and to think, all because She was having stupid little nightmares…

Like some silly little 6 year old...

“There's no reason to be scared (f/n),” she said chuckling to herself, once again hoping to sedate the alarm she felt.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

   Finally reaching the kitchen the (h/c) haired woman stopped dead in her track, her hand coming up to her face, slapping over her quivering lips to stifle A would-be scream.

A lone figure sat at the bar, slouched and almost unmoving. Long hair seemed to hide The person's face, along with the dimmed lighting and at first, her mind played back to the shadows in her room, making panic rise in her gut.

But there was no way…

‘No freaking way.’ She thought.

       Within a few moments of wide-eyed staring,  her eyes began to adjust to the new lighting that was in contrast to the darkness she had weaved through to get there. It had taken her a while, but soon the dreaded figure took a more humane form and a small, barely audible sigh let her. By process of elimination, it could only be one person.

Long, dark hair, big,  strong body? Yeah...

That was Bucky...

Bucky Barnes, A.K.A The Winter soldier, as so many knew him by previously.

‘Sweet, innocent, harmless, human, won't-turn-into-the-devil Bucky,’  She thought with a shaky smile.

      The anxiety caused by fear and untimely doom died away, being replaced with a lesser, more innocent concern. A soft color bloomed onto her face, and she formed a subtle, sweet smile. The tremors in her body caused by terror now became shivers of excitement caused by invisible butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach. Hesitantly, she stepped towards him, awkwardly rubbing her left arm with her hand as an act of tremulousness.

Before she could come in close proximity to him, she found his gaze already set on her. His gunmetal blue eyes had connected with her, asking her questions, more along the lines of  “why are you here?" and better yet, "What do you want?” Truth be told, he didn’t seem too welcoming.

“Hi,” she said softly, forcing a smile onto her previously trembling lips, giving a small wave as well, trying to show hospitality and openness, hoping he’d take it well.

    Without a word, he looked back to where he had faced, taking in a view of the outside world and the dark sky instead of her, like she had just vanished to thin air and gone away. The hand that had been raised slowly died back down to her side and she bit her inner cheek with annoyance and grimace. ‘I wish you'd just speak to me,' she thought with a sigh. ‘I wish you'd say something to me, just once and not glare.’  

Not knowing whether or not to turn away or stay in hopes of a delayed and decent hello, she stood awkwardly, looking every bit of uncomfortable that she felt.

‘I'd rather take my chances and be eaten,’ she thought shrinking down and swallowing hard she turned back to leave him be, but was halted by the sound of his voice.

“Can't sleep?” he asked, tilting his head down to his drink and taking a swing.

     For a moment she had stayed quiet, being unsure if he had actually said a word to her, seeing as he was such a somber man, never once opening his mouth to anyone but his longtime friend. “So what is it?” he asked, this time a little louder, assuming she had missed his previous question. He still had no intentions of looking her way, but at the very least he acknowledged her, making her smile subtly. Abiet still a dry interaction, but she could note the effort in his part. Now that she was certain he was making conversation with her, the discomfort gnawing at her mellowed down and instead happiness burst through her chest as she saw his efforts. “No,” she answered breathlessly, realizing his voice was actually lovely, something she wouldn't get tired of hearing.

     He gave a dry chuckle, introducing her to a new sound. “What's keeping you up?” He asked genuinely curious, seeing as he has stayed up late before, a lot more than he cared to elaborate on and it was the first time ever seeing her out that late.

So What kept such a person awake at night? Someone who seemed to have never committed a crime, much more an atrocity as he had in his past? What could she possibly harbor dark in her heart to make her meet him at this time?

     He heard her shift in her spot before she spoke, shakily voicing her distress. “I - I had a nightmare, “ she confessed, not thrilled enough to admit it and with obvious embarrassment.

Through the dark strands shielding his face from her’s he gave her a side glance, observing the way she bowed her head down and stared at her bare feet in shame.

‘Is she embarrassed about it?’ he wondered seeing the clear signs of unease at the confession.

She came clean to him on her distress, and so he decided to comfort her in knowing she wasn't alone.

And he too wasn't proud of it either...

"Same here." he murmured, still eyeing her, finding it hard to tear his gaze from her. His eyes were glued to her, watching every move she made because she had something different that made his eyes draw to her, even if at the moment she looked rather dull.

     The large shirt she wore draped over her body was a wrinkled mess, probably from tossing and turning so much. It barely reached passed her mid-thigh, making it seem more like a dress than an actual shirt and she seemed to look somewhat tinier in the old, worn garb.

Her hair was loose, falling in messy waves and her bangs lay sticking to her forehead with a light sheen of sweat.

The more his eyes traveled over her body, the odder the sensation rising at the pit of his stomach felt, and he just couldn't place why.

“ can I sit with you?” She asked, the undertone of her words practically begging him for companionship. Her voice had cut through his thinking, and he was relieved about it, not knowing where else his mind would wonder about her.

   He gave her a brief nod, with a single word accepting the request. “Sure,” he said, and at his consent, she seated herself next to him, placing both her hands onto her knees, all while nervously glancing down at the empty counter spot before her, not knowing what to say.

She heard him shift in position, as well as the sound of a falling river of liquid. Not soon after there was another sound, something scraping over the counter and going towards her.

He had slid a cup of half-filled glass in front of her, making the instant smell of liquor hit her nose like a harsh awakening. Scrunching up her nose she made a small displeased noise.

“ Ugh.” She couldn't help it escape her.

“ Not a drinker?” He questioned her with amusement, watching her face scrunch up.

“Never been one,” She confessed, glaring down at the bronze colored liquid, contemplating on what to do with it.

“ Hand it here then,” He said, opening his hand up for the drink to go back to.

“ No… No, I actually came to have a drink…” she confessed, sounding unsure about the decision.

He gave her a questioning look at her response and shook his head. “ You just said you don't like to drink,” He said flatly, pointing out an obvious fact.

She brought her index up to nibble on its nail, knowing full well how contradictory she seemed, saying one thing and going on about another a second later… She felt silly.

“Yeah, but I just thought that...Well...” She started, unsure of how to explain her prior thinking well.

Catching on to what she had been trying to explain, he shook his head, “It doesn't really help.” He said simply. “It doesn't?” she asked forming a crease between her brows as they tilted down into a frown. “ At least that's how it is for me. I end up staying awake all night. For the most part, it just gives me something to do,” he said plainly. “ A pastime I guess, having a drink, ” he added.

“I'm sorry to hear,” she said, deciding to take the glass within her hands. After all, at least it gave her a reason to stay. “It's alright. It's not your fault, “ he said giving her a strained smile.

     She noticed the way his body had started shifting towards hers, facing her now, and keeping his attention focused on her. He hadn't realized he did it until he got trapped in a close, deep connection with her eyes. Blue-grey color stared deeply into (e/c) colored eyes, each of the two people taking on every detail of their companion.

The room became eerily silent, with only the sound of balanced breathing being heard. For her it felt like being on a roller coaster, just barely reaching the peak of the highest point, feeling a serious rush push forth inside her. As for him, it was unclear, it all was. He could only describe it as a feeling unknown to him.

If there had ever been a feeling to come close to what he felt now in his past, it was far gone and nowhere in comparison.  “This is the most we've spoken,” She said suddenly, batting her eyes, blinking way the focus she had on him. Her gaze then reluctantly dropped down to her drink as she brought it up for a first taste. “Yeah,” He said agreeing, holding his drink in his hand, also taking a sip, but focused more on the expression she had swallowing up the bitter drink. It was obvious she didn't enjoy it, but none the less drowned it down in three separate attempts.

“I…I feel that's a little sad.” she admitted, “ I’d like to ... to speak to you more. Talk more.” She admitted with struggle. He stared at her dumbfounded then snickered at her. “ Really?” He asked, entertained by her hesitance, and even more about the idea that she wanted to get to know him more.

    Nodding furiously she extended her arm out with the glass in hand. Refilling the cup he offered her a smile, his best attempt at one at least. It had been an almost instantaneous reaction, but her face lifted and beamed, giving him a greater one in return and it was hard for him to look away from her now.  His mind blanked at her sweet expression and he felt a wall go down, slowly unwinding a burden in his heart.

“I haven't slept all week,” he confessed. “ It's like every time I blink, I see things I don't want to… I can only imagine what closing them longer would do…” He murmured, biting his tongue afterward for confessing that bit about himself. ‘ She didn't need to know that.'  He thought gnawing at the pink muscle, cursing at himself for being so uncharacteristically chummy. She had both her hands on her small glass, but upon hearing him say that, took one off and instead placed it over his own. The action had taken him back and had his eyes snap down to the connection between the two. Her smaller hand covered his for a few short seconds, and he could feel the slight cooling wetness from her own glass’s condensation, but that small detail didn't matter to him.

     He found that the hand that touched him felt in a short description; right. It felt just right and not much more. His shoulders melted down, and he took yet another sip of his drink when she released him.

She didn't offer any opinion of her own afterward, and waited for him to say more instead, and that he did. An hour went by as he spoke, somehow switching from his dark thoughts and sleepless nights to the good memories he could recall, many of which were silly stories about his childhood. He stumbled with certain details, but she listened with attentiveness, never once ceasing the smile that had formed on her face. However, there came a point to where she found herself drifting, swaying slightly, and to not fall forward she put a hand under her chin and propped her elbow on the table to support it.

     At the sound of his deep, murmuring voice, she found that with every blink she gave, her eyelids became heavier. His voice was soothing, and comforting, making the world brighter for her to let her guard down. She hadn't even thought about the nightmares that awoken her in the time she was with him. With a subtle side glance, he looked towards the now sleeping woman, giving her a halfhearted glare.

“Some talk,” He mused, not particularly bothered she had fallen asleep on him. He was already finding himself opening up too much anyways, more than he cared to do and he was sure she could write at least two chapters on the history books about him.

    He hadn't planned on that, never even occurred to let so much slip out, but she was making him unwind in a single night as if he were some open book out on display. He was partially hoping she didn't remember a wink of the night, forgetting he had let go of so many intimate thoughts, so many hidden ideas he had just found on his own as he opened up to her.

      He could see from the window the way the full moon shined with excited-ness and taking the last sip of harsh liquor, he stood up. ‘Guess I should turn over too...’ he thought, with the intentions of sleep in mind, but with the full knowledge that he'd only stay awake another night. With heavy steps, he walked towards the doorway but stopped abruptly.

Turning his attention towards (f/n) yet again he noticed the way that the hand holding the side of her head slowly began to slide upwards as her head made its way down to an upcoming crash. He sighed and quickly ran over to her side, placing his flesh hand above the surface just as her head slipped from her hand.

“That would have woken her up for sure,” He said to himself, looking down at the peaceful look on her face. She coddled her cheek to his warm hand, making him stiffen, and glare down at her, taken back by the mindless little action.

He had let her touch him one time too many already... ‘Stop doing that’ he thought, feeling a bothersome churn in response to her affection, but not voicing his commands at her, or daring to give her a rude awakening. He wasn't inconsiderate...

   Making a final decision, he slowly lifted her head up and pushed her back onto his other waiting arm. Once she was inclined back onto his arm, he gingerly placed his fleshed arm beneath her knees while the metal one supported her upper body, pressed her to himself as he began to carry her. And while he found the closeness almost queasy, she was more than welcome to the contact. Once again, she coddled towards him, this time hiding close to his chest. ‘You really shouldn't do that.’ he thought, once again keeping his opinions to himself, not finding it right to bother her, or wake her. At Least one of them should enjoy some sleep.

Making a final decision, he decided to take her back to her room, then crawl back into his to lay awake again yet another night.

..................................................................................................

Tinie Winnie time skip to the reader’s room.

(still the same p.o.v.)

    He laid her down and brought the covers up to her neck, watching her curl up within seconds. “I wish I could fall asleep so easily,” he mused. Gently, his fingers ran through her (h/c) colored hair, finding it soft, despite the few knots he found himself coming in contact with.

Something about the way her face was set looked so peaceful and innocent bringing him a gentle comfort. While his fingers weaved through her hair, it felt almost soothing, like a destresser. The moment lasted a minute before her eyes fluttered open, showing him hazy and glossy (e/c) colored eyes. He froze, caught in such an embarrassing and compelling action and immediately his arm snapped to his side as, and he readied himself for an excuse, that or for her questioning.

   However, she didn't allow time for that, because as she opened her eyes and saw him, she smiled. She barely addressed him, just hardly whispering his name in a sweet tone, and with the same soft smile,  she closed her eyes again, turning over in the opposite direction.  She left him with the sight of the back of her head, immediately falling back into her deep sleep and leaving him stunned.

“What the hell am I doing,” he grumbled taking the same hand that had been touching her and instead running it through his own head of hair. His head leaned back as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Just what is going on?” He said quietly, whispering to himself in a complete loss. ‘I need to get out of here,’ He thought clenching his fists, realizing the sweet, warm scent that had covered every inch of the room and herself had become intoxicating. While it surrounded him, he felt even stranger than before, something he wasn’t minding, which was the alarming part. It made him feel dizzy with lingering thoughts rising in his head, dangerously intimate ones. As he moved to leave, he found himself staring back, glued to the spot just inches from the door.

     She seemed motionless, aside from the breathing, making the little lump on the bed rise and fall. What if she had another one of her nightmares? 'What then?' He had asked himself what would happen in such a case and took a risky decision. Looking to the opposite side of her bed, adjacent to it was a small sofa pushed against the wall.

“ Really, what am I thinking…” He said softly, going towards the double seater.

‘ She’ll think I’m some creep.’ He thought while sitting on one of the ends of the sofa, letting his arm rest on the surface of its side. From his seat, he kept his eyes on her, watching the way she curled and turned every once in a while, making sure there wasn't distress. After a short while, he rubbed his eyes, feeling them grow heavier as he stared at her.

He's never taken the time to stare at someone sleep, and he supposed that had its effects on him, and quicker than he had assumed, he fell into the sweet embrace of slumber.

...................................................................................................

   Her eyes opened up to see nothing but her cushiony pillows in her face, as well as being surrounded by nothing but warmth and comfort. She was about to question it all, speaking aloud to herself, “ But I thought-” she started, but cut herself off, quieting down as she noticed Bucky sitting down on the sofa facing her. His lovely eyes were now hidden beneath his eyelids, and his chest rose and fell ever so softly. His head was inclined to the side as he sat sitting up with his arms crossed over his chest. If she didn't know any better, she would have assumed that he had mindlessly fallen to sleep, and that was just the case...

‘He slept here… ?’ She thought, unable to hold down the smile pulling at her face.

‘He brought me here too…’ She concluded.

It could only have been him to do such a sweet thing, and yet still look so impassive about it, even while in his sleep. 'He probably planned to leave afterward but stayed,' She gripped her sheets tightly, contemplating on her next move. ‘Should I wake him up?’ She thought uncertain. ‘No, that'd be wrong.’ She argued, remembering that he too had stayed awake half the night, unable to sleep, and had a much harder week. She couldn't just kick him out like that.

‘He must be freezing though…’ She thought gazing at him sympathetically. The room was cold, and he seemed lonely and probably freezing over there without protection from the cool air.

    As quietly as she could she stepped off of her bed, cringing at the squeak of the mattress. Making sure her feet touched the ground as silently as possible, she moved one foot then the other in slow, careful motions. Having found herself now standing she took a quick glance back at him. making sure he didn't stir and smiled triumphantly. He stayed unmoving, save for the rhythmic breathing, much to her delight. Bundling up the fluffy comforter in her arms, she walked over to him, spreading it over his body, not letting an inch of him (except his head) be uncovered. It was the least she could do after going through the trouble of bringing her there and even staying a bit longer afterward. After she covered him up, she took a second to truly admire him, the stubley mess that he had as facial hair, the long locks threatening to fall forward onto his sleeping face, even the pretty dark lashes fanned over his cheeks.

He was really handsome, that much was true and now she could add sweet to that growing lists of traits she had discovered and had liked. Swallowing hard she felt her heart race as her eyes dropped to his lips, biting her own. They were very inviting, causing her own to feel lonesome for a touch at them.

‘ God, I need to sleep.’ she thought grazing her fingers over her own lips, shaking her head and scolding herself. With the same careful silence, she moved back to her mattress, climbing onto it and hiding beneath the rest of the sheets on her bed. She faced him with a smile, finding the image of him being the last thing before she sleeps to be comforting, as equal in warmth to a lit fireplace on a winter night. She didn't know it was something she needed until then. Easily lulled by the sight of him there, she once again fell into slumber within seconds. After that, she doesn't remember what she dreamed about, or what had lied beyond the world she slipped into after hours, but all she knew we that he played a role. He was there talking to her like he had that night, and he made her feel safer.

...................................................................................................

      When he woke up, he found himself covered by her comforter, the one he had put her to sleep in the night before. Her smiling face was facing him as she slept, looking completely at bliss. Without a word, he walked out, but not before folding the cover neatly. When he finished he left it in the place where he had been sleeping. He wouldn't say anything to her as he walked away, and silently thanked her instead, finding that to be one of the only things he could do. He felt more recharged, filled with new energy. With a mellowed excitement, he thought about what he would do after such a night of sleep. For one he’d have to take up Sam and Steve’s offer on that run now. It seemed like a good option... Once he stood outside her door he pulled up a gentle smile and he hoped it wasn't the last time they'd have a nightly encounter. He could only anticipate spending another night beside her, with just her and him alone.

[elementalist-kdj]

@fermented-writers-block Emperor Bellows definitely fits the bill on utilizing and awing witches and wizards into joining his Coven. It enables him to stay in power and keep his subjects in line.

In addition, Eda has mentioned her research into WILD MAGIC. She seems to show reluctantcy in teaching Luz because Luz is a human; someone with special needs in their world’s standards. The fact that Eda has considered this; Luz, in this case will be a challenging student for her; Luz is quick to distract (Eda tells King to stay behind), Luz doesn’t have a bile sack, but she draws magic from everything else around her (Eda helps Luz use nature to tap into wild magic instead of an organ she doesn’t have), discourages using a wand, because is taking the easy way out (Eda scolds Luz because a wand is using the equivalent of a cheat bot as a shortcut). Luz gained a lot; to learn differently, find that works for her is different from how witches learn. She doesn’t have to solely rely on her phone to record and watch it. She can be engaged with her learning. This was the BEST LESSON EDA HAS GIVEN LUZ because IT TAUGHT LUZ how to prep herself for HER LEARNING STYLE AT HEXSIDE!!!

Eda did a great job as a teacher and she took it seriously, she’s changing as well, however is there an ulterior motive for going in this direction? “I know Witches did magic differently in the past... But, I never bothered to figure out how. Ha ha!” *snorts* Ironic, that Eda goes back on what she said when she was amazed at Luz’s capability to use a light spell. Now Eda knows! The magic that Witches used in the past was WILD MAGIC. This litterally is in her alley!

Back to the ulterior motive: Say if Eda were to turn into the Beast and keep her mental faculties, her Demonic physiology will not be hindering the use of magic as long as she can draw those glyphs with her claws. If that is the case, Eda will still be able to stick to some semblance of herself and magic. Abiet, a Giand Owl Demon using Wild Magic. But what if it will be Wild Magic that can help Eda change back?

On my last Owl House reblog, I just want to clarify that while I don’t particularly think that the Clawthorne family ever found out themselves about the origins of Eda’s curse,  I do think that there’s some good potential credence to @elementalist-kdj​‘s theory that the Blight family cursed Eda - maybe even under Bellows’ orders - especially with some of the details from today’s newest released episode as @sepublic​ noted. 

At the end of Convention, Kikimora mentioned that Bellows had promised something to Lilith in exchange for capturing Eda, and from the way Lilith responded to Eda’s semi-fake ruse about the curse getting worse, it doesn’t look like she really knows the truth herself at all.

Instead, it seems like Bellows had gotten Lilith to agree to capturing Eda under the promise of helping Eda with her curse, not letting on the fact that he was the one who ordered Eda to be cursed in the first place.

And I’ve got to say, if Bellows turns out to be like a malicious or power hungry kind of fellow like I’ve seen in some speculation, then this just seems like a big gambit to potentially bring two powerful witches under his control without either of them suspecting a thing.

With Lilith, he’d ensure her trust and loyalty by being able to “cure” - aka undo - Eda’s curse and help her ‘stop living a worthless life’ and ‘not be a danger to anyone,’ and with Eda, he might be able to secretly force her to obey his will through the brand of the Emperor’s Coven - what with the branding gloves in Once Upon a Swap.

Thus, killing two birds with one stone, or rather a single curse.

[cause-their-not-coming-back-blog]

technically the first chapter of a fanfic im working on but could also be counted as a one-shot??

She smiled, abiet a bitter one, but it was a smile all the same. Annie had just gotten back from her shift of Titan patrol when she found Reiner and Bertholdt intertwined on the floor. It had been about a week since the roof incident, and Bertholdt was doing better, although still prohibited to go out without Reiner and it Annie. Even still, she couldn't get this feeling out of her gut. She knew it was stupid, and she knew it had always been this way, and she knew it wasn't right of her to be j e a l o u s, of all things. It's not like her and Reiner didn't have their moments, and its not like she and Bertholdt didn't have their moments, she just.. Well, she didn't know what she was feeling at the moment. She sat on the floor in front of both of their heads. Not wanting to wake them, but knowing someone had to go on Titan duty again, she slowly dragged herself to her feet, a small 'oomph' noise leaving her lungs as she accidently bumped into the door on her way out. She was able to continue for about an hour and a half, before her thoughts, mixed with a bit of exhaustion, overwhelmed her. Sitting down on a roof nearby, she placed her head in her hands as she tried to get her brain to stop making her eyes tear up. It didn't work. Looking like something somewhere between a snake and a sloth, Bertholdt was the main reason for the entanglement between the two boys, his limbs flying this way and that as he shifted- if two weeks of torture and having his throat cut wouldn't do it, then his sleeping positions would definitely be the death of him some day. Green eyes flickering open after the noise, he spent a good five minutes working himself from Reiner, who had somehow managed to stay asleep despite his wriggling. How he'd even fallen asleep with the boy, he'd never know. Reiner probably fell of the top bunk and onto his matress, now that he thought about it and he must've just kinda. Latched on. Shrugging on his navy blue over coat and ignoring his terrible bedhair, Bertholdt peeked out the front door, eyebrows furrowing when Annie couldn't be found anywhere. Ducking back into the house, he donned his gear and stepped out into the cold, goosebumps already rising on his arms as he set off to find her. Annie, not sure whether to be reassured or nervous about the fact that there was a likely chance that Bertholdt had most likely come out in search of her, she made no effort to move from her place. Burying her face deeper into her hands, she closed her eyes tightly and rubbed then with her palms to keep the tears from shedding. 'Cause maybe your gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my wonderwall,' she sang under her breath, her voice strained from the effort of not crying. And now her eyes burned because she wouldn't let the tears fall. That's just perfect. After finally finding her, he landed beside her gently, the gentle whiz of the zipline of his gear the only sound in the vicinity. 'Annie? What's wrong; the sun's up, it's shift change, why didn't you wake me?' He asked, crouching beside her, his arm wrapped around his knees. 'You were asleep,' she spoke, praying her voice didn't sound too different from normal. 'And waking you meant taking the risk of nearly waking Reiner, and he gets grumpy if he's woken up before noon,' she tried to joke, though with the sound of her voice and the position she was in, she had a feeling it fell flat. 'You know I'm a light sleeper... Sometimes,' He replied, and it was true; sometimes it took like for than a footstep to wake him up, other times you could throw him across the room and he'd probably still remain blissfully asleep. 'Something's up; what's wrong?' 'Nothings wrong,' she paused, contemplating her next words so she could make sure they were ones that didn't make Bertholdt worry for her too much. 'Nothing is wrong, not necessarily.' It was true; it was nothing new going on, its that she was just reacting badly. Ten out of ten for logic use. 'Not necessarily?' He picks up on her use of words, eyebrows furrowing more. 'Hey... How about we spar? Take your mind off of things?' He asks, getting to his feet and brushing off his clothes. A soft, almost unnoticeable smile quirking at the ends of her lips, she nodded, rubbing her eyes one last time before standing up, a thought popping into her mind. 'Bertholdt,' she paused, her eyebrows furrowing. 'What's today's date?' Catching on quickly to her question, Bertholdt feigned his answer. 'Not sure, but it's a pretty shitty day out and we should get going,' He replied. 'Then we'll head back to Reiner, see if we can wake him up,' He chuckled, he knew today was Annie's birthday, so he'd organised for Reiner to work on what they'd discussed, it was his job to make it seem like they'd forgotten and to keep her distracted. 'You wanna start?' 'hmm' she pondered for only a moment more, before dropping the subject. 'Wait,' she paused, a sly smile on her face as she picked up a stick that she had carved into a crude knife late last night. 'That's better,' she spoke with a tone of mirth, before falling back into her usual fighting stance. She wouldn't admit it to him, but she was most likely not going to go her hardest on Bertholdt. Mainly because he was still on probation, and he wasn't allowed to exert himself too much. Realising he had still yet to remove his gear, he took a few steps back, shrugging it off quickly with a chuckle- as much as the three loved using it, there was only one set that was still working, so they'd all been earth bound for a couple of weeks and being cooped up with nothing to do made tensions run high. Returning to her, Bertholdt smiled. Sliding a foot back and crouching slightly into a deep stance, his hands came up beside his jaw, green eyes glittering with mischief and excitement. Bringing her fists up to rest at her hips, Annie decided that she would play dirty, since he got to use his height to his advantage, who said she couldn't use her acting talent to hers? Leaning in, dangerously close, Annie spoke in a whisper, adding a fake tear in as well. 'I'm pregnant, and its Eren's..' She whispered, smirking internally at his surprised face and handspringing up to land a heel on the top of his head, before landing behind him with a grin, and turning around to face him. 'Come at me bro,' With a moment of surprise before noticing her attack, he only had enough time to dodge enough so that her heel hit his shoulder as he spun and stood back, dropping down and lashing out a low kick mere milisenconds before her feet touched the ground. 'Ah yes, I'm sure you are,' He chuckled, rolling his eyes. 'Now now, it's rude to roll your eyes at me,' she spoke with a shit-eating grin, making a face as his leg hit her left foot, forcing her to fall into a roll, placing her only about two feet in front of the green eyed boy. 'We should tell Reiner that, just to see the look on his face,' she mused, before making it look like she was stepping in to give him a hug, before totally changing directions. Putting her left foot behind his and straightening her leg, her grabbed his shoulders and, with a mixture of pulling and pushing, she was able to land a good kick to the cheek before he hit the ground, a chuckle leaving her lips. Hissing at the attack, he barely managed to catch his arms around his head, rolling out of the way similarly to what Annie had just done before dropping both hands to the ground and kicking out both legs, one after the other, at her abdomen. 'He may seem like it, but he isn't a total idiot,' A sharp exhale leaving her lips as one of his feet hit her stomach, she was able to dodge the other, before using his leg as a sort of balance bean, running up it and landing a good kick to his groin, before jumping over the top of his head and landing behind him. 'Yeah, but even you were surprised for a moment, its entertaining,' she spoke, a bit out of breath. 'Ow,' He hissed in accusation, rolling and pushing himself up to his feet. 'That was a low blow; literally,' He tried to smirk, wheezing. 'Also, if ever you were actually pregnant, that kick would have changed that,' Good job Bert. Let's go for some dark humour. 'Did you just -' she slowly raised an eyebrow at him, a shadow of a smirk on her lips. 'This is why the door and the mattress are my best friends.' She grumbled under her breath, before standing on her dies to stretch, along with popping her knuckles, smirking at the large CRACK that they made. That couldn't be healthy. 'Yes. Yes I did,' Bertholdt replied with something akin to childish pride. Looking up at the sky and accidently revealing the nasty scar that mottled his skin along his throat as he distinguished the time, he sighed. He'd been out for about 2 hours, but who was to say that was enough time for Reiner to even wake up, let along finish their project. 'Whats the plan? I don't have much to do, and I doubt Reiner is awake, its only nine,' she smirked, pacing for a bit before an idea popped into her head. Waltzing behind him, Annie jumped up to wrap her legs around Bertholdt's waist, before loosely wrapping her arms around his neck, as to not accidently hurt him. 'To battle, my horsie!' 'Why are you like this,' He said simply, with the best 'I'm dead inside' voice he could muster, his smile hidden away as he shook his head and hoisted her up more comfortably on his back. 'Where too, m'lady?' He chuckled, looking over his shoulder at her. 'Why are you trying to steal my signature tone?' She mocked, flicking the side of his head lightly. 'I don't know, surprise me,' she yawned, resting her chin on the top of Bertholdt's head and letting her eyes drift shut. 'Alright, alright,' He smiled, continuing forward with a smile, strapping up his gear as best he could with the assistance of Annie as they wondered around aimlessly. Annie, chuckling slightly at Bertholdt as he fumbled with the gear, lifted up a hand and brushed his fringe into his eyes, because she was mean like that. 'I think there's a meadow nearby, we could go there maybe,' she mumbled, burying her face into the side of Bertholdt's neck where there wasn't a scar. 'Oi. Rude,' He smiled, shaking his head lightly and watching as his hair fell into place. 'I really need a hair cut,' Came a sigh as the two made their way through the ghost district, edging along walls whenever a titan came too close for comfort. 'No shit Sherlock, we all do,' she smirked, bringing her hand up to take her hair out of the bun she usually wore it in. 'It was giving me a headache,' she spoke as an explanation when Bertholdt gave her a confused glance. 'You're giving me a headache,' He snapped back teasingly, letting go of one of her legs to reach up and ruffle her hair like she did to him before the two came to a stop and he laid her on the ground, laying beside her. 'You suck,' she groaned, running her fingers through her hair to straighten it out again. 'It's easy for you to fix, you have short hair. Not easy for me, you ass,' she spoke with mock bitterness, reaching over and punching him in the shoulder lightly. 'Oh, you'll be fine, quit grumbling,' He smiled, laying out his legs of the grass before flinching as the movement pulled the straps on his shoulders down painfully; damn his height. Tucking his knees up as he lay back, he closed his eyes. 'It's a nice day out,' 'Yeah, its a pity you guys didn't get to see the sunrise though, it was beautiful,' She smiled softly, reaching over and plucking a daisy from its spot in the ground, tucking it behind Bertholdt's ear. 'That's better,' 'Thanks. Do I look pretty now?' He asked, turning his head to look at her, sticking out his tongue in the process, his fingers coming up to brush the petals of the flower before laying back down on the ground beside him. 'Nope,' she smirked, popping the 'p', a light laugh leaving her lips. 'You see, there are no witches or vegans around, and they're the only people with magic strong enough to make you pretty,' she spoke, an amused gleam in her eyes. 'Well now I'm just insulted. Have fun getting home without using me as your horse,' He chuckled, getting to his feet and walking off, a careless wave tossed over his shoulder for good measure. 'Have fun telling Reiner you're the reason I got eaten, because you left me stranded and I don't have any gear,' she called after him, slowly standing up and brushing herself off, following after him slowly. 'Y'know, I think it just got nicer,' Annie smirked, her eyes resting on Bertholdt's shapely ass. 'Wait up!' She called with a smirk, running up behind him and jumping on his back. He was lucky she didn't see his blush, or the increase of his heart rate when she jumped on his back. They were too oblivious for their own good.