#abbott and costello forever

[vibe-stash]

Arrival (2016) Director: Denis Villeneuve DOP: Bradford Young Production Design: Patrice Vermette

[tomfowlery]

(Patrick voice) My desk is an enigma.

[fuukonomiko]

BES Hollywood AU

I know some other fandoms have this AU (including Warhammer40k where I saw @mixuen and her most creative takes!) so I think it would be awesome to have BES have it too.

Someone mentioned this to @lillydrawsmizu and I apologize for forgetting who it was but hopefully you can see this too!

Some silly ideas (please feel free to make suggestions, or make art)

The actors for Swordfather Eiji and Seki were a comedy duo when they were younger. Think Abbott and Costello.

The actor who plays Ringo is a part time musician. He has his own Indie band and he is actually the lead guitarist. He brings his guitar to write songs during downtime. When his fans saw his role in the show they freaked out not seeing his hands. Mikio's actor has taken this role to move away from his image as a stereotypical Hollywood leading man. It's his first venture into playing a very unlikeable character. Abijah Fowler's star is actually one of the nicest and most professional actors on set! He brings baked goods and sweets for the cast and crew on hectic days with long shoots. Sometimes he even orders catering for them! Akemi's actress is in her first big role! She used to have minor parts in soap operas. She's excited for her big debut! The actor who played Ise actually read for the Akemi role too. Madam Kaji and Lady Ito initially read for the others' part. The casting director made them switch because they felt the other actress suited their respective roles better.

Casting for Taigen took forever as none of the dozens who auditioned was convincing enough for the role. The actor they finally cast was a last minute find when he dropped out of a sci-fi series. After wrapping up season 1, word has it that the actors playing Mizu and Taigen actually became a couple

And just saw an actor AU from @doughnutshi

[nogoodnikolai]

i watched abbott and costello meet frankenstein the other night. i dont think i ever consciously registered that the term "universal movie monster" meant they were from movies produced by universal studios, not that they were universal in the sense of cultural ubiquity.

anyway given aacmf is also a universal joint, they get to do a monster mashup with all the role originators (with the exception, funnily enough, of karloff). theres something so cool about that. bela lugosi just, like, is dracula, whether he's a serious threat or part of a slapstick routine. i remember a year or two ago when they had all the spiderman actors in the same joint and it was such a big deal. i think the closest we get to this nowadays is like, andy serkis and doug jones, forever cursed to be cgi'd over as weird guys

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Finish the Feed and Plug the Thing!

I write this! Steampunk! Dieselpunk! Indy! Found family! Magic! Listen: social media is very challenging for me, I'm only sticking around here because I want people to look at my work. Did you hit "follow" at some point because you like what I like? MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE THIS!

I SEE 44 FOLLOWERS AND I WILL GET EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU TO CLICK EVENTUALLY! I WILL WEAR YOU DOWN!! I'M A FROG ON THE EDGE! I MEAN IT!

Ahem.

Known readers: 3 (hi!) 1st goalpost: 10?

Known supporters: Still not asking yet, just letting you know, I will take your money when I start posting more story!

And now, so as not to be too ridiculously long for your feed (thank you for your patience) a sample under the cut!

[Ha-ha-ha, yeah, but the thing I'm writing right now is more of a side gig. It's been stressful this week. I fell into a Hazbin Hotel fic that I'm afraid to show anyone, because it looks like I made a Mary Sue and that's not what I'm about. But it's got David in it, who has returned to Soldier On from the grave and begun impacting the plot again. (That's a mild spoiler, but, c'mon, you must've suspected. He's always getting into places he doesn't belong.)

[Mind if I shoot you a few paragraphs from this otherwise useless, self-indulgent thing, so you can meet him in noodle-bird form? The gag about the Stages of Grief was that they are Denial (Charlie), Anger (Husk), Apathy (Angel), Concern For Your Girlfriend (Vaggie) and Blowing Shit Up While Obnoxiously Australian (Cherri) but I trimmed off the opening so it's just David's arrival, and all you see is Serial Murder (Alastor). Oh, god, I am forever explaining myself...]

A glowing orange hand, much the same shade as the portal, peeked hesitantly out of one side, and swiped through the air as if testing the temperature of the bathwater. Finding no bathtub, it eventually lit on the wall, and scratched the wallpaper with a red lacquered talon. It slid down and found the floorboards. “Oh, well,” said a male, but terribly fussy voice. “Might as well give it a shot!”

The hand vanished. An instant later, it returned, clutching the handle of a purple cloth suitcase. The suitcase thumped on the floor, followed by a shiny shoe with a white spat, and a striped trouser leg.

A fiery orange bird-creature in a purple frock coat emerged, trailing red and blue flames from its head like the tail of a comet. Then again, that wasn’t even the weirdest hair in the room right now, let alone historically. “Ah, hello.” He bowed. “Sorry to bother you. Is this the Happy Hotel?”

Charlie squealed. “That guy just deadnamed my Hotel!”

“Sorry…?”

“Hazbin,” said a grinning shadow with narrowed eyes. One might call this the unprecedented seventh Stage of Grief (Serial Murder), and a very good reason to stop at five.

“What is it now?” said the bird, with apparent sincerity.

Alastor materialized, smiling — as always — resplendent in red, and with a razor-thin veneer of patronizing levity concealing his violent nature. “Ha-ha!” Two syllables, not quite a laugh. “We have an Abbott and Costello fan!”

“Abbott and Costello?” said the bird. He shook his head. “Sorry, it’s always a bit disorienting. Must’ve dropped my timely references. Mind if I go out and come in again?” Without pause, he exited via the portal, and climbed back in. He pointed a knowing finger at Alastor. “Abbott and Costello! The comedy duo! Vaudeville! Oh, you must be ancient…”

Alastor was still smiling, with narrowed eyes, one of which gave a slight twitch.

“I don’t get it,” the bird admitted. He leaned closer and blinked at the smile. “Are you feeling quite well? Do you have head trauma?” He laughed. “Or do I?” He touched his own head, feeling it, and the flames, with both hands. “I do seem to have something worthy of traumatizing. Does anyone have a reflective surface?” He glanced aside at the man in red, who was still grinning. “...Although I quite understand if you’ve covered them all.”

“...Who the fuck are you?” said the Radio Demon, with unusual clarity.

“David Valentine!” He extended a hand, which was not accepted.

The spider recoiled.

The bird did, too, but only a half step. “Sorry?” He leaned forward cautiously. “I have a few other names, if you don’t like that one? Um… Oh, God, have I been here before?” He took a single step towards Angel. “Listen, whatever I did, I assure you, I am perfectly… I am reasonably sober now, and I will never do it a…”

“We’re very pleased to meet you, David!” Charlie said, pumping his proffered hand. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“What is it now?” David said, blinking. He laughed. “Oh, I get it. I get it! That’s hilarious!” He clapped Charlie on the back. When he looked up, there was a grinning face with a twitching eye examining him from a near distance. He backed off a pace and straightened his cravat with a polite chuckle — followed by a shriek. “Christ! is that an actual eyeball or a clever design? Is my tie alive? Is that me? Is this even a suit? Are we all naked?”

Nobody was offering any opinions on the ontological nature of living clothes, but they did seem a bit perturbed by the cravat with the expressive eyeball, so he tucked it back into his vest.

“Sorry! I know I’m being a bit weird, but I’ve travelled quite some way and I may not technically be authorized to be here.” He grinned, displaying neither tongue nor teeth but a gullet full of yellow flame. “But that’s never stopped me! Hmm…” He turned, touched a hand to the centre of the portal, and collapsed it back into nothingness. He winked. One eye was pitch black with a single fleck of white serving as a pupil, the other glowing yellow with a red iris. “Before someone notices!”

“Can I get you a chair?” Charlie whispered in Alastor’s direction. Unfortunately, it was more of a stage-whisper.

Several shadow tentacles sprouted, though they were not aimed in Charlie’s direction. Yet. “No.”

David Valentine was making do with the reflective surface of a glassed-in Lillith poster. He combed back his hair, or whatever that was, with both hands, then examined the hands, both sides. “It’s not quite what I’m used to, but I think it suits me. Love the manicure!” He laughed. “It’s nice to have something corporeal of my own again. I’ll have to oil my hair with lamp oil! Ah!” He turned and posed in front of the glass. “And so thin! Really, incredibly…” He glanced at the others. “Please tell me, has Persephone been winding us all up? Is there food in Hell?”

Angel lifted a hand and volunteered, “Yeah, but it’s shitty and expensive.”

“Oh.” David pointed and nodded. “Like Vegas.”

Angel cackled. “Yeah!”

“Lobsters scream when you drop them in boiling water,” Niffty said, vibrating with joy. “Most things scream when you drop them in boiling water.”

David leaned down and measured her little body with one hand. She was still vibrating. “Is child labour legal in Hell?” he said.

“Yeah,” Angel said. “But I don’t think Niff qualifies. I ain’t sure what she is.”

“Unhinged,” Niffty said. She smiled — she had been, and it was terrifying, but now it was more. “Are you a bad boy?”

David gave an airy laugh. “I make a good girl!”

Vaggie introduced herself, spear point first. “Listen, cabrón, where, exactly, are you from?”

“Exactly?” said David, blinking. “Oh, dear.” He sighed, shaking his head. “That’s always a bit difficult. I have what you’d call a ‘context-based’ memory…” He pointed a sharp finger. “You know that thing where you get up to do something, and you go through a door, and you forget why in fuck you got up in the first place, so you’re just sort of wandering around pointlessly and trying to remember so you don’t have to turn around and go back?”

There were a few puzzled nods. The gentleman with the evident head trauma abstained, but David quite understood.

“Well, I’ve been through several doors to get here and I’ve left a lot of context behind me. I am positive I don’t belong here, but, let’s see…” He counted on his fingers. “I’ve sinned, I’ve died, I’ve continued sinning, and I’m very much hoping to be a better person…”

“That’s what we do!” Charlie said.

“...for the sake of my friends — one of whom died to get away from me…”

“Pardon?” said Angel. “You wanna back up, there?”

“Oh, he’s just being silly,” David said. “I’ll find him eventually!” He cleared his throat. “...and the other of whom is rapidly nearing the end of her finite existence. I fucked up her whole childhood, and it looks like most of her adulthood, and I was really hoping to make amends before she goes into hiding like he did. Oh! And I’m not at all interested in going to Heaven,” he added, with a firm shake of his head. “No. I’ve been — to my version of it, anyway — and it’s terribly dull.”

Charlie’s expression fell. “What?”

The strident sound of a game show buzzer played. The audience seemed very disappointed. Alastor joined them. “Aww. That’s a real shame. But thanks for playing!” He strode forward. “The Hazbin,” he paused, for emphasis, “Hotel is only concerned with redeeming the souls of worthy sinners in need of a second chance. Interloping travellers who are,” he popped up over the flaming bird’s shoulders and made a beaky mouth with one hand, “‘not at all interested’ in going to Heaven need not apply!”

[I dunno. I'm trying to get over myself and numb the shame, but if you like the style, I write like that! That's me! I've written a lot more! And if you hate it... Please don't tell me,. It's a work in progress. I may never show it to anyone anyway. I just think David would do well there, if they don't kill him, and he has a good reason. He just found Hyacinth again!]

[godlessriffs]

We all need to be supporting physical media. Every last one of us. Because online streaming and media services can wipe your favorite literature, music, movies, and TV shows off their platforms, but they can't come into your homes and confiscate your books, records, CDs, VHS tapes, or DVDs.

My video collection as of 2/12/25:

- The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) Blu-ray

- 20 Million Miles To Earth (1956) Blu-ray

- 42nd Street (1933) Blu-ray

- 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Blu-ray

- The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953) Blu-ray

- Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) Blu-ray & DVD

- Alien (1979) Blu-ray

- Aliens (1986) Blu-ray

- The Andromeda Strain (1971) Blu-ray

- The Angry Red Planet (1960) DVD

- The Atomic Café (1982) Blu-ray

- Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958) Blu-ray

- Battle In Outer Space (1960) Blu-ray

- Bee Gees: One Night Only (1997) DVD

- Better Off Dead (1985) Blu-ray

- Birth of a Nation (1915) Blu-ray

- Black Christmas (1974) Blu-ray

- The Black Scorpion (1957) Blu-ray

- Blackadder Remastered: The Ultimate Edition DVD

* The Black Adder (1982-1983)

* Blackadder II (1986)

* Blackadder the Third (1987)

* Blackadder Goes Forth (1989)

- Blazing Saddles (1974) Blu-ray

- The Blob (1958) Blu-ray

- The Blood Trilogy Blu-ray

* Blood Feast (1963)

* Two Thousand Maniacs (1964)

* Color Me Blood Red (1965)

- Blood Feast (1963) Blu-ray and DVD (contains Scum of the Earth [1963] as a bonus feature)

- The Bloody Brood (1959) Blu-ray

- The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962) Blu-ray

- Brazil (1985) Blu-ray

- The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) Blu-ray

- The Brood (1979) Blu-ray

- Buck Rogers: The Complete Collection (1979-1981) Blu-ray

- The Burning (1981) Blu-ray and DVD

- Burnt Offerings (1977) Blu-ray

- Busby Berkeley Musicals DVD

* 42nd Street (1933)

* Footlight Parade (1933)

* Dames (1934)

* Gold Diggers of 1937 (1936)

- Busting (1974) DVD

- The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919) Blu-ray

- The Cameraman (1928) Blu-ray (contains Spite Marriage [1929] as a bonus feature)

- Carnival of Souls (1962) Blu-ray

- Casino Royale (1967) Blu-ray

- Charade (1963) Blu-ray

- Charley Varrick (1973) Blu-ray

- Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972) Blu-ray

- The City of Lost Children (1995) Blu-ray

- Clash Of the Titans (1981) Blu-ray

- A Clockwork Orange (1971) Blu-ray

- College (1927) Blu-ray

- Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970) Blu-ray

- Conan the Barbarian (1982) Blu-ray

- Conan the Destroyer (1984) Blu-ray

- Corner Gas: Season 1 (2003-2004) DVD

- Corner Gas: Season 2 (2005-2006) DVD

- Corner Gas: Season 3 (2006-2007) DVD

- Corner Gas: Season 5 (2007-2008) DVD

- The Corpse Vanishes/Bowery At Midnight (1942) Blu-ray

- The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) Blu-ray

- The Dark Crystal (1983) Blu-ray

- The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) Blu-ray

- The Deadly Mantis (1957) Blu-ray

- Delicatessen (1991) Blu-ray

- The Devil Bat (1940) Blu-ray

- The Devil's Tramping Ground (2007) DVD

- Diamonds Are Forever (1971) Blu-ray

- Dr. No (1962) Blu-ray

- Dr. Strangelove (1963) Blu-ray

- Doctor Who: The Beginning (1963-1964) DVD

* Story 1 - An Unearthly Child (1963)

* Story 2 - The Daleks (1963)

* Story 3 - Edge of Destruction (1964)

- Doctor Who: Story 5 - The Keys of Marinus (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 6 - The Aztecs (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 7 - The Sensorites (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 8 - The Reign of Terror (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 9 - Planet of Giants (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 10 - The Dalek Invasion of Earth (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Stories 11, 12 - The Rescue/The Romans (1964) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 13 - The Web Planet (1965) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 15 - The Space Museum (1965) DVD

- Doctor Who Story 16 - The Chase (1965) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 17 - The Time Meddler (1965) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 30 - The Power of the Daleks (1966) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 32 - The Underwater Menace (1967) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 33 - The Moonbase (1967) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 36 - The Evil of the Daleks (1967) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 37 - The Tomb of the Cybermen (1967) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 40 - The Enemy of the World (1967-1968) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 41 - The Web of Fear (1968) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 44 - The Dominators (1968) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 45 - The Mind Robber (1968) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 46 - The Invasion (1968) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 48 - The Seeds of Death (1969) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 51 - Spearhead From Space (1970) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 52 - Doctor Who and the Silurians (1970) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 54 - Inferno (1970) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 55 - Terror of the Autons (1971) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 56 - The Mind of Evil (1971) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 57 - The Claws of Axos (1971) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 58 - Colony In Space (1971) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 59 - The Daemons (1971) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 60 - Day of the Daleks (1972) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 61 - The Curse of Peladon (1972) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 62 - The Sea Devils (1972) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 63 - The Mutants (1972) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 64 - The Time Monster (1972) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 65 - The Three Doctors (1972-1973) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 66 - Carnival of Monsters (1973) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 67 - Frontier In Space (1973) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 68 - Planet of the Daleks (1973) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 69 - The Green Death (1973) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 70 - The Time Warrior (1973-1974) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 71 - Invasion of the Dinosaurs (1974) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 73 - The Monster of Peladon (1974) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 75 - Robot (1974-1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 76 - The Ark In Space (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 77 - The Sontaran Experiment (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 78 - Genesis of the Daleks (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 79 - Revenge of the Cybermen (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 80 - Terror of the Zygons (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 81 - Planet of Evil (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 82 - Pyramids of Mars (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 83 - The Android Invasion (1975) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 84 - The Brain of Morbius (1976) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 85 - The Seeds of Doom (1976) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 86 - The Masque of Mandragora (1976) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 87 - The Hand of Fear (1976) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 88 - The Deadly Assassin (1976) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 89 - The Face of Evil (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 90 - The Robots of Death (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 91 - The Talons of Weng-Chiang (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 92 - The Horror of Fang Rock (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 93 - The Invisible Enemy (1977) DVD (With K-9 and Company: A Girl's Best Friend [1981] DVD)

- Doctor Who: Story 94 - Image of the Fendahl (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 95 - The Sun Makers (1977) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 96 - Underworld (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 97 - The Invasion of Time (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 98 - The Ribos Operation (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 99 - The Pirate Planet (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 100 - The Stones of Blood (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 101 - The Androids of Tara (1978) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 102 - The Power of Kroll (1978-1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 103 The Armageddon Factor (1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 104 - Destiny of the Daleks (1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 105 - City of Death (1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 106 - The Creature From the Pit (1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 107 - Nightmare of Eden (1979) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 108 - The Horns of Nimon (1979-1980) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 109 - Shada (1980/1992) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 110 - The Leisure Hive (1980) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 111 - Meglos (1980) DVD

- Doctor Who: The E-Space Trilogy (1980-1981) DVD

* Story 112 - Full Circle (1980)

* Story 113 - State of Decay (1980)

* Story 114 - Warrior's Gate (1980-1981)

- Doctor Who: Story 115 - The Keeper of Traken (1981) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 116 - Logopolis (1981) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 117 - Castrovalva (1982) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 118 - Four To Doomsday (1982) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 120 - The Visitation (1982) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 121- Black Orchid (1982) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 122 - Earthshock (1982) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 124 - Arc of Infinity (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 125 - Snakedance (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 126 - Mawdryn Undead (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 127 - Terminus (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 128 - Enlightenment (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 129 - The King's Demons (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 130 - The Five Doctors (1983) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 131 - Warriors Of the Deep (1984) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 134 - Resurrection of the Daleks (1984) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 135 - Planet of Fire (1984) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 136 - The Caves of Androzani (1984) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 137 - The Twin Dilemma (1984) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 138 - Attack of the Cybermen (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 139 - Vengeance On Varos (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 140 - The Mark Of the Rani (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 141 - The Two Doctors (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 142 - Timelash (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 143 - Revelation of the Daleks (1985) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 144 - Trial of a Time Lord: The Mysterious Planet (1986) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 145 - Trial of a Time Lord: Mindwarp (1986) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 146 - Trial of a Time Lord: Terror of the Vervoids (1986)

- Doctor Who: Story 147 - Trial of a Time Lord: The Ultimate Foe (1986) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 148 - Time and the Rani (1987) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 149 - Paradise Towers (1987) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 150 - Delta and the Bannermen (1987) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 151 - Dragonfire (1987) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 152 - Remembrance of the Daleks (1988) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 153 - The Happiness Patrol (1988) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 154 - Silver Nemesis (1988) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 155 - The Greatest Show In the Galaxy (1988-1989) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 156 - Battlefield (1989) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 157 - Ghost Light (1989) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 158 - The Curse of Fenric (1989) DVD

- Doctor Who: Story 159 - Survival (1989) DVD

- Dracula (1931) Blu-ray

- Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968) Blu-ray

- Dragonslayer (1981) DVD

- Dressed To Kill (1981) Blu-ray

- Duel (1971) Blu-ray

- Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) Blu-ray

- Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers (1957) Blu-ray

- Eating Raoul (1982) Blu-ray

- Eraserhead (1977) Blu-ray

- Eyeborgs (2009) Blu-ray

- Fail Safe (1964) Blu-ray

- Fantastic Planet (1973) Blu-ray

- Fantômas Blu-ray

* In the Shadow of the Guillotine (1913)

* Juve vs. Fantômas (1913)

* The Murderous Corpse (1913)

* Fantômas vs. Fantômas (1914)

* The False Magistrate (1914)

- Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982) Blu-ray

- A Fistful of Dollars (1964) Blu-ray

- Flaming Star (1960) DVD

- Flash Gordon (1980) Blu-ray

- The Fly (1958) Blu-ray

- The Fly (1986) Blu-ray

- Flying Guillotine Part 2 (1978) Blu-ray

- For a Few Dollars More (196?) Blu-ray

- For Your Eyes Only (1981) Blu-ray

- Forbidden Planet (1956) Blu-ray (contains The Invisible Boy [1957] as a bonus feature)

- Forbidden World (1982) Blu-ray

- Frankenstein (1931) Blu-ray

- Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969) Blu-ray

- Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974) Blu-ray

- From Russia With Love (1963) Blu-ray

- Galaxy of Terror (1981) Blu-ray

- The General (1926) Blu-ray

- The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966) Blu-ray

- Ghost World (2001) Blu-ray

- The Ghoul (1933) DVD

- Godzilla (1954) Blu-ray

- Godzilla Vs. Hedorah (1972) Blu-ray

- Godzilla Vs. Gigan (1972) Blu-ray

- Godzilla Vs. Megalon (1973) Blu-ray

- Godzilla 1984 (1984) Blu-ray

- Godzilla Vs. Biollante (1989) Blu-ray

- Godzilla 2000 (1999) Blu-ray

- Gold (1934) Blu-ray

- Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933) DVD

- Gold Diggers of 1935 (1934) DVD

- The Gold Rush (1925) Blu-ray

- The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1974) Blu-ray

- Goldfinger (1964) Blu-ray

- The Golem (1920) DVD

- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (196?) Blu-ray

- The H-Man (1958) Blu-ray

- Halloween (1978) Blu-ray

- A Hard Day's Night (1964) Blu-ray

- Haxan (1922) Blu-ray

- Heavy Metal (1981) Blu-ray

- The Herculoids: The Complete Series (1967) DVD

- Bill Hicks Live (1991) DVD

- Highlander (1986) Blu-ray and 4K Blu-ray

- The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy (1981) DVD

- Humanoids From the Deep (1980) Blu-ray

- I, Claudius (1976) DVD

- The Incredible Hulk: The Complete First Season (1977-1978) DVD

- The Incredible Hulk: The Complete Second Season (1978-1979) DVD

- The Incredible Hulk: The Complete Third Season (1979-1980) DVD

- The Incredible Hulk: The Complete Fourth Season (1980-1981) DVD

- The Incredible Hulk: The Complete Fifth Season (1981-1982) DVD

- The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) Blu-ray

- Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) Blu-ray

- The Invisible Man (1933) Blu-ray

- Island of Lost Souls (1933) Blu-ray

- It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955) Blu-ray

- It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958) Blu-ray

- Jaws (1975) Blu-ray

- Joker (2019) Blu-ray

- Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Blu-ray

- King Kong (1933) Blu-ray

- King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963) Blu-ray

- Krull (1983) Blu-ray

- Kwaidan (1964) Blu-ray

- Land of the Lost: The Complete Series (1974-1977) DVD

- Little Caesar (1930) Blu-ray

- Live and Let Die (1973) Blu-ray

- The Living Dead At Manchester Morgue (Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (1974) Blu-ray

- Logan's Run (1976) Blu-ray

- M (1931) Blu-ray

- Mad Max (1979) Blu-ray

- Mad Monster Party? (1967) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season One (1980-1981) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season Two (1981-1982) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season Three (1982-1983) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season Four (1983-1984) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season Five (1984-1985) DVD

- Magnum P.I.: Season Six (1985-1986) DVD

- The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934) Blu-ray

- The Man With the Golden Gun (1974) Blu-ray

- Mary Pickford: Rags and Riches Collection Blu-ray

* The Poor Little Rich Girl (1917)

* The Hoodlum (1919)

* Sparrows (1926)

- Max Fleischer's Superman 1941-1943 (1941-1943) Blu-ray

- Metropolis (1927) Blu-ray

- The Mole People (1958) Blu-ray

- The Monolith Monsters (1957) Blu-ray

- Monty Python's Flying Circus 16 Ton Megaset (1969-1974) DVD

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974) Blu-ray

- Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979) Blu-ray

- Monty Python's the Meaning of Life (1983) Blu-ray

- Moonraker (1979) Blu-ray

- Mothra (1960) Blu-ray

- The Mummy (1932) Blu-ray

- The Mummy (1959) Blu-ray

- Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Show #506: Eegah (1993) DVD

- Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Show #512: Mitchell (1993) DVD

- Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Show #515: The Wild World of Batwoman (1993) DVD

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Show #619: Red Zone Cuba (1994) DVD

- The Naked Prey (1965) Blu-ray

- Die Nibelungen (1926) Blu-ray

- Night of the Living Dead (1968) Blu-ray

- Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horrors (1922) DVD

- Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht/The Vampire (1979) Blu-ray

- Octopussy (1983) Blu-ray

- The Omega Man (1971) Blu-ray

- On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) Blu-ray

- The Phantom of the Opera (1925/1929) Blu-ray

- The Phantom of the Paradise (1974) Blu-ray

- Piranha (1978) Blu-ray

- Planet of the Apes Legacy Collection (1968-1973) Blu-ray

- Planet of the Vampires (1965) DVD

- Porky's (1979) Blu-ray

- Predator (1987) Blu-ray

- The Public Enemy (1931) DVD

- Rashomon (1950) Blu-ray

- Religulous (2008) DVD

- The Reluctant Astronaut (1967) Blu-ray

- The Return of the Living Dead (1985) Blu-ray

- The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) DVD

- The Road Warrior (1981) Blu-ray

- The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) Blu-ray

- Saturn 3 (1980) Blu-ray

- Scanners (1981) Blu-ray

- Seven Samurai (1954) Blu-ray

- The Seventh Seal (1957) Blu-ray

- Shin Godzilla (2016) Blu-ray

- The Silent Star (1960) DVD

- Smithereens (1982) Blu-ray

- Solaris (1972) Blu-ray

- Son of Kong (1933) Blu-ray

- Soylent Green (1973) Blu-ray

- Space Ghost and Dino-Boy: The Complete Series (1966) DVD

- Spaceballs (1987) Blu-ray

- The Spiders (1919) Blu-ray

- Star Trek: the Original Series - Season 1 (1966-1967) Blu-ray

- Star Trek: the Original Series - Season 2 (1967-1968) Blu-ray

- Star Trek: the Original Series - Season 3 (1968-1969) Blu-ray

- Star Trek: the Motion Picture (1979) Blu-ray

- Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan (1982) Blu-ray

- Star Wars: The Original Trilogy (1977, 1980, 1983) Blu-ray & DVD

- Starcrash (1978) Blu-ray

- Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928) Blu-ray

- The Sting (1973) Blu-ray

- Straw Dogs (1971) Blu-ray

- Superman: The Movie (1978) Blu-ray

- Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (1978/1980/2006) Blu-ray

- The Taking of Pelham 123 (1974) Blu-ray

- Targets (1968) Blu-ray

- Taste the Blood of Dracula (1969) Blu-ray

- Teen Wolf (1985) Blu-ray

- The Terminator (1984) Blu-ray

- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Blu-ray

- They Live (1988) Blu-ray

- The Thing From Another World (1951) Blu-ray

- The Thing (1982) Blu-ray

- Things To Come (1936) Blu-ray

- This Island Earth (1955) Blu-ray

- Three Amigos! (1986) Blu-ray

- The Three Stooges Collection 1934-1936 DVD

- The Three Stooges Collection 1937-1939 DVD

- The Three Stooges Collection 1940-1942 DVD

- The Three Stooges Collection 1943-1945 DVD

- The Three Stooges Collection 1946-1948 DVD

- Thunderball (1965) Blu-ray

- Time Bandits (1981) Blu-ray

- The Tingler (1959) Blu-ray

- Tombs of the Blind Dead/Return of the Blind Dead (1971/1972) Double-sided DVD

- Tron (1982) Blu-ray & DVD

- Ultra Series 1: Ultra Q (1965) Blu-ray

- Ultra Series 2: Ultraman (1966) Blu-ray

- Ultra Series 5: Ultraman Ace (1969) Blu-ray

- Ultraman X (including Ultraman X: Here He Comes! Our Ultraman) (2015-2016) Blu-ray

- Universal Horror Collection Volume 1 Blu-ray

* The Black Cat (1934)

* The Raven (1935)

* The Invisible Ray (1936)

* Black Friday (1940)

- The Vampire Bat (1933) Blu-ray

- Vampyr (1931) Blu-ray

- Videodrome (1983) Blu-ray

- A View To a Kill (1985) Blu-ray

- War of the Worlds (1953) Blu-ray

- Westworld (1974) Blu-ray

- When Things Were Rotten: The DVD Edition (1975) DVD

- White Zombie (1932) Blu-ray

- The Wicker Man (1973) Blu-ray

- Wings (1927) Blu-ray

- The Woman In the Moon (1929) Blu-ray

- The Wraith (1986) Blu-ray

- Yojimbo (1961) Blu-ray

- You Only Live Twice (1967) Blu-ray

- Zombie (1979) Blu-ray

[loopy777]

Would you agree that a huge part of what divides the pre disney and post disney star wars fandom is those who only really care about star wars in the context of the Skywalker family as the protagonists, and those who want to move beyond them?

I've always regarded killing off the skywalker family as a massive narrative mistake, but it's only now these years later that i have come to the realization that even if i thought disney star wars was good or great(which i do not), i flat out am not interested in a Star Wars universe withouth the skywalkers and the themes of family in that they represented being the main focus.

As far as im concerned, any story not featuring them(or their supporting casts) is at best an interesting sidestory. But i dont really come to star wars for side stories.

Anyway, as a disney era star wars fan what do you think?

Well, I don't know about divides amongst the fans. I don't engage with the Star Wars fandom. That said, I understand your perspective and can respect it, but it was going to be trouble for Disney at some point regardless of what they did in the sequels.

For how long can they keep telling stories about Skywalkers? The story really ended with RotJ. The prequels were a handy way to squeeze some more money out of things, but how poorly the details line up goes to show that Star Wars was never designed to be a true multi-generational saga. Even 'The Clone Wars' has big details which clash with the prequels! (Obi-Wan canonically fights General Grevious on Utapau a week before 'Revenge of the Sith,' to name one of my favorites to laugh at.) George Lucas couldn't even stick to a plan across 3 movies, never mind an Entertainment Conglomerate with no consistent creative vision. Lucas was good at improvising and didn't have to answer to anyone else about the story (just the budgets). Jumping to Luke Skywalker Jr to tell a new story, and then Luke Skywalker Jr Jr to tell another story, and then Luke Skywalker Jr Jr Jr- for how long would that really work for something like Disney, which canceled New Ducktales to make a Darkwing Duck cartoon they never actually made?

At some point, the audience would catch on that The Adventures of Luke Skywalker the Fifth are indeed just cheap side-stories, but with one character in the cast named after someone George Lucas invented. Having someone who the writers claim is descended from Shmi Skywalker doesn't guarantee that they'll actually get the themes right. Or, in the case of the sequels, even keep the themes consistent.

I mean, 'The Acolyte' could have very easily altered a few lines of dialogue to turn one of the main characters into Shmi Skywalker's mother. Would that have that made it any better? (For my part, I think 'The Acolyte' was overall mediocre with great action scenes, but as usual for Disney was failed by mindbogglingly weak storytelling.)

Some stories just can't go on forever, whether or not you can get Mark Hamill back for 20 movies. Disney didn't realize they bought a franchise that was the equivalent of a car with 200k miles on it, but they did, and now they're stuck with it. They couldn't even keep Marvel consistently knocking out hits past its 'ending' because Corporate Needs demanded more content than its creative team could manage, and Marvel is a franchise designed to expand infinitely.

Personally, I think Star Wars has had a good run for a darker-and-edgier spin-off of a comedy television series starring two celebrity comedians. It's like someone made a massively successful, 50-year-spanning serious horror movie franchise out of original elements from Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. But I get that I probably had a uniquely beneficial introduction to Star Wars which lets me enjoy any of it that uses the setting correctly, achieves the proper vibes, and has a sassy robot character. Everything else is optional.

[burningexeter]

Here's a fairly solid amount of all the different kinds of media that I think both can fit well in and could share the same universe as Escape From Planet Nomanisan, an entire idea that I have for a 2D action/sci-fi adventure animated film, which you can both read and see below for yourself:

• Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories

— Every episode of the entire series except for Guilt Trip and Family Dog for very obvious reasons if you've watched them

• HBO's Tales From The Crypt

— The first five episodes of Season 1

— Cutting Cards, The Thing From The Grave, The Sacrifice, For Cryin' Out Loud, Four-Sided Triangle, Judy, You're Not Yourself Today, Fitting Punishment, Lower Berth, Mute Witness To Murder & Television Terror

— Abra Cadaver, Top Billing, Easel Kill Ya, Undertaking Palor, Deadline & Yellow

— None But The Lonely Heart, On A Deadman's Chest, Beauty Rest, What's Cookin', The New Arrival, Showdown, King Of The Road, Maniac At Large, Split Personality & Strung Along

— Forever Ambergris, People Who Live In Brass Hearses, Two For The Show, Well Cooked Hams, Came The Dawn & Half-Way Horrible

— Only Skin Deep, The Bribe, The Assassin, Staired In Horror, Surprise Party & You, Murderer

— Fatal Caper, Escape, Horror In The Night, Cold War, The Kidnapper, Report From The Grave & Confession

• Dan Angel & Billy Brown's R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour: The Series

— Every episode of the entire series except for Red Eye, Poof De Fromage, Bad Egg, Mrs. Worthington & Lotsa Luck because they were ass

• Bede Blake & Robert Butler's Creeped Out

— Slapstick, Trolled, A Boy Called Red, Kindlesticks, Shed No Fear & Side Show 1 & 2

— Itchy, The Many Place, The Unfortunate Five, No Filter, The Takedown & Splinta Claws

• Lloyd Goldfine's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 — the first five seasons)

• Michael Dougherty's Trick r Treat & Krampus

• Mark Waters' The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

• Colin "Eh" Trevorrow's Safety Not Guaranteed

• Scott Cooper's Antlers (2021)

• Eli Roth's Thanksgiving (2023)

• Jack Clayton's Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

• David Lowery's Pete's Dragon (2016)

• Samuel Bodin's Cobweb (2023)

• Jason Eisener's Treevenge & One Last Dive

• David Petersen's Mouse Guard (Comic Series)

• David Yarovesky's Nightbooks (2021)

• Dean Parisot's Galaxy Quest

• Greg Mottola's Paul (2011)

• Charles Barton's Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein

• Joe Dante's Gremlins & Gremlins 2: The New Batch

• New Line Cinema's Critters & Critters 2: The Main Course

• Joe Cornish's Attack The Block (2011)

• Gary Dauberman & Mark Verheiden's Swamp Thing (2019 TV Series)

• John Sayles' The Secret Of Roan Inish (1994)

• Robert Kirkman's Outcast (2016 TV Series)

[bellshazes]

trying to write a training plan and getting stuck doing Abbott and Costello routines over acronyms which signify fucking jack shit all and you have no power over anything even though you know in two to five years there's gonna be another headline like [redacted from home last July] and they'll close the [redacted] and punish the staff who will have to live with that forever but the people who know the real tragedy is all those other kids who [redacted] can't burn shot down bc we're trying to keep the few afloat and the ppl who should burn shit down don't know and none of it is simple anyway because this cycle is decades old and it plays out over and over

[dsdualstudio]

【D's Speak】教師ポイントの変更についてのお知らせ（2023年4月18日～）

いつもD's Speakをご利用頂きまして、誠にありがとうございます。

4月18日より、教師ポイントの設定を下記のように変更させていただきます。

＜レッスン予約時教師ポイントの変更＞

時期：4月18日（火）　※一部教師は、4月8日、11日に変更あり人数：227名 ＜ご注意事項＞

・ポイント設定は、生徒様からのレビューに加え、教師のスキル、勤務状況等より総合的に判断致します。

・該当の教師をご予約の際、4月18日以降のご予約は新しいポイントが採用されます。ご予約した際の消費ポイントと、表示ポイントに差異が生じることがございますので、ご注意ください。

40→50 Abbott Alicent Arrezo Ashtra Asja Asunta Audemars Beat Billious Calzado Capuyan Cecelion Clefairy Cradily Emperial Forever Gleankie Grunfield Guinevere Hemlock Heracross Hershberg Idaho Ilacad Imelda Kate Khimo Kindat Kumala Lawin League Leticia Lutherine Mentrix Nafisa Nathaniel Nessa Nifty Nimuel Panyo Pentax Roserade Sheldon Stanley Stilgar Storian Surskit Sylvester Tedros Tekkari Tula Twist Velmani

Calzado, Nimuel = 4/8に変更

Lutherine, Panyo, Asunta, Roserade, Surskit, Hemlock, Beat, Imelda, Sylvester＝4/11に変更

50→60 Abigail Adelaide Ady Aida Alena Alicia Anjeaneth Astradell Ayden Balmond Beatrice Blanca Bogota Brencis Cassandra Charyl Clark Curlyn Dasovich Delray Deniza Derby Derick Donita Echo Emmy Fandral Faramis Fe Flores Gamgee Georgia Gia Gunther Heimdall Helsinki Herrera Idris Ilbert Issarey Jace Jellyfel Jenessa Jeralyn Jillmee Jojo Joya Keanu Kefiah Keon Khufra Kinshasa Kirlia Lamira Lorelie Madera Magayon Marife Marikris Meldiv Nahmae Nemesia Neymar Oce Oprah Ortiz Priscilla Quinto Rabica Rabor Ranilyn Ravina Rhisan Rowland Sameri Shasta Sifra Sim Sixto Sneasel Soul Tanella Thea Valir Zenobia Zinnia

60→70 Alivo Bastille Coraline Costello Damian Dawn Dice Fem Hymn Infinitee Japhet Justine Kathniel Nelsie Sherlock Yeddah Zach

70→80 Brick Chu Connor Elise Emery Frente Lady Macauly Mayward Roseth Shaina Sola Tobin Yuda

80→90 Armani Delta Drip Kelsey Kian Leonard Liza Myrna Paxton

90→100 Anson Giv Slovene Spirit Sundae

100→110 Chill Push

110→100 Shelby

100→90 Apechi

90→80 Akio Arycris Balinger Issa Jerika Peura Raelynn Romeda Sarika Shefra Winter

80→70 Beluchi Fayre Heidi Judge Leica Lormil Munch Nayrobi Solovey Valentine

70→60 Abby Chansey Goen Jadis Tory

60→50 Archieven Dandelion Gwinnie Rollins Vortex

50→40 Alucard Cepheus Custodio Dolores Jaycel Kadita Niklaus Raisharen

引き続き何卒よろしくお願いいたします。

[vibe-stash]

Arrival (2016)

Director: Denis Villeneuve DOP: Bradford Young Production Design: Patrice Vermette

[thebeingofeverything]

This took me forever but I love movies so here's my list @seidraikiri

Land Before Time- This is my favorite movie to this day and I cry every time I watch it lol I was/am a huge dinosaur kid and this movie was probly my most rented from the video store back in the day.

Jurassic Park- my other childhood favorite. You might be able to see a trend here lol I used to hum the music from this movie as a kid and I wanted to be a paleontologist bc of this movie.

The Last Unicorn- This is the second of my most rented from the video store movies lol I was obsessed with the beautiful style of the movie and unicorns in general (besides being a dino kid i was also a horse kid XD). And the plot of it was so melancholy, plus I'm just a sucker for mythology in general.

Big Fish- This one is just so good every time. It feels like watching a folktale come to life and the ending has me crying every time I watch it. The scene where he presents a field of daffodils to his wife just gets my inner romantic.

Tropic Thunder- This movie is so goddamn funny holy shit lmao Every time it's on tv me n my family will watch it. The premise is so insane and everyone did such a good job in it. It's one of my family's most quoted movies lmao

Kill Bill 1+2- I'm grouping these together bc I pretty much watch them one after another anyway. But it's another two movies that my family always has on in the background. I've always liked the assassin movies and action stuff and her vengeance-driven plot is real good. Plus the music and fight scenes are amazing.

Fantastic Mr Fox- Such a good stop motion movie, and the music is so good, plus the food always looked so tasty lol I want to drink that apple apple cider.

The entire LOTR trilogy- I can't even tell you how emotional this series gets me. Just hearing the music will have me getting squishy inside and I've got it memorized after how many times I've seen it. The entire epic journey plot and circular ending is how I write my own stories and it's my favorite kind of thing to read.

Spirited Away- The food scene makes me so hungry every time I watch it lol And I get so nostalgic thinking about it. The fable/fairytale kinda plot and mythology makes me so happy.

And for the last, I'd combine any of the old horror movies like The Wolfman, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Night of the Living dead, Abbott and Costello meet the Wolfman, etc.- I love horror in general, but these are my feel good horror movies lol I can watch them any time and they're always good. I grew up on them and my family are all suckers for horror movie night.

Thanks for the tag @seidraikiri ! I'm tagging anyone of my mutuals who wants to do this, if you do, tag me so I can see!

Rules: post 10 of your favourite comfort movies then tag 10 people.

I got tagged most recently by @every-aj-needs-an-angel (but I also think I got tagged a while back by a few people and I fell way behind on tags)

1. Pride and Prejudice (2005) - I mean we all know why. If you don’t:

2. Captain America: Civil War - I won’t be able to apologize for this. It’s just the most romantic bullshit a person can see. A man going against his country, the world, his friends, for his long lost love? Sigh.

3. Miracle - It’s hockey. I dunno what else I have to say.

4. The Breakfast Club - If you haven’t watched it, how.

5. Beauty and the Beast - This has been my favorite original Disney princess movie since I was maybe four and I learned to read? I thought Belle was amazing and I genuinely told my mom at six years old that I hoped my husband had a big library. What a dreamer.

6. The Princess Diaries - My sister and I watch this almost once a month. I blame naming Eddie’s daughter after Mia Thermopolis because I had just watched it again.

7. Matilda - This one is depressing when you think about it, but my family used to call me Matilda because I would prefer to just sit in my room and read. And then Harry Styles wrote the song and I was like…hmmm that’s something to unpack…and then I just started watching the movie when I was sad.

8. 10 Things I Hate About You - I mean.

9. Hook - I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this movie, but it’s gotta be in the triple digits.

10. Jumanji (1995) - I don’t have anything against the new one, but the original is just unparalleled. You just can’t compete with Robin Williams.

Now, keep in mind that I RARELY watch anything at all, so when I’m watching these, something is very wrong 😂

No pressure tags: @simplebtromance @zerokrox-blog @izzy2210 @estrellami-1 (I think you may have tagged me in this a while ago too so ignore this if you did 😭) @legitcookie @sidekick-hero @steves-strapcollection @wormdebut (or work on your gd fic ffs) @wynnyfryd @messessentialist

[missbelindachandrabombs]

when i was a kid my worst intrusive repetitive nightmare images had to do with an excess of fingers. growing on mine or on my friends’ limbs, protruding from all the wrong places with the consistency of cartilage, rubbery and stiff, snapping at all those unnatural angles, wiggling into orifices, gently stroking cheeks. i’d wake up in a sweat and be afraid of looking at my own two hands, to check and discover that it had not been a dream, that i’m stuck forever with these warped vestigial appendages.

with the rise of ai the abilities of which we never could have dreamed of at that age, sounding more like science fiction that anything if i’d have heard these self-generated pictures described to me then, it seems that these night terrors were yet another ‘mundane oracle moment’. who would believe cassandra if her prophesies were absurd and inane and silly even? who would care about distilling an omen from an imaginative child’s overreaction to a dream, from their impassioned tale of twisted thumbs and split wrists? and if seven-year-old me, dreaming of what implied another ‘death of art’, could have been listened to, what course of action would they have deduced from it?

technological ‘progress’ is an unstoppable force, restriction and regulation does not prevent it but forces it to continue operation in hiding. louise’s daughter in arrival (2016) could have kept sculpting the alien’s forms from black play-doh forever, but the shapes wouldn’t have conveyed any meaning to the linguist before abbott and costello had first shown themselves from behind the mist, before the temporal paradox revealed itself. in that lies the uselessness, the futility. i’ve had a sizeable handful of similar moments, but the sum of their accuracy amounts to nothing. there is no good in post-factum revelations. canned laughter track erupts from behind the screen

[bookclub4m]

Episode 163 - Podcasts

This episode we’re talking about Podcasts! We talk about the first podcasts we listened to (and whether we still listen to them), how we find new podcasts, what speed we listen to podcasts at, what podcasts we’ve been enjoying recently, podcasting in our pyjamas, and more!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | Jam Edwards

Podcasts We Recommended

Mangasplaining

Finish It! Podcast

Stuff The British Stole

Hey Riddle Riddle

One Shot Podcast

Gender Reveal

Stronger by Science

The Slowdown

Food 4 Thot

American Hysteria

Dig: A History Podcast

You Are Good

Clue (1985) w. Lauren Milberger

Other Podcasts We Mentioned

War Rocket Ajax

Episode 333 - Long, Sustained Dong f/ [Jam] and Ian from HARK!

Episode 383 - The Christmas Specials Special f/ [Jam] and Ian from HARK

Episode 613 - Every Dracula Ever f/ Benito Cereno and Elle Collins

HARK! Podcast

Wait, What?

Movie Fighters

Welcome to Night Vale

All Songs Considered

Radiolab

On Being with Krista Tippett

Speaking of Faith

Serial

My Favorite Murder

Maintenance Phase

If Books Could Kill (they apparently don’t have a website, just a Twitter feed and a link to Apple Podcasts)

You’re Wrong About

The Satanic Panic

Quarantine Book Club: “Michelle Remembers”

My Brother, My Brother and Me

The Adventure Zone

Alice Isn’t Dead

The Moth

Episode  136 - Hearts of Magic: Threads Entangled

99% Invisible

RISK! Podcast

Hazel & Katniss & Harry & Starr

Tenure and Transparency (Brenna Clarke Grey talks about the tenure process)

Links, Articles, and Things

Podcast (Wikipedia)

"Podcast" is a portmanteau of "iPod" and "broadcast". The earliest use of "podcasting" was traced to The Guardian columnist and BBC journalist Ben Hammersley, who coined it in early February 2004 while writing an article for The Guardian newspaper.

The man who accidentally invented the word ‘Podcast’

ComicsAlliance (Wikipedia)

Judge Dredd (Wikipedia)

BBC Radio 6

Matthew listened to a lot of Steve Lamacq’s show

Evolution of the iPod [2001-2022]

How YouTube Became a Podcasting Powerhouse Without Trying

Podcast Addict

Who's on First? (Wikipedia)

Abbott & Costello Who's On First

Parasocial interaction (Wikipedia)

15 Literary Podcasts by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) Podcasters

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

For this episode on podcasts, we’ve compiled a list of literature-related podcasts featuring BIPOC hosts/creators.

AAWW Radio

Black Chick Lit

Book Friends Forever

Book Women Podcast

Books & Boba

Deadline City

Dreaming In The Dark

Getting Lit Podcast

LibVoices

Minorities in Publishing

Not Another Book Podcast

Shaping the Narrative

Storykeepers Podcast

Tres Cuentos Literary Podcast

Well-Read Black Girl

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Twitter or Instagram, join our Facebook Group, or send us an email!

Join us again on Tuesday, December 6th when we’ll be discussing the genre of Military Fiction!

Then on Tuesday, December 20th we’ll be talking about our favourite books we read in 2022!

[twistedtummies2]

Count-Down: Number 2

Welcome to Count-Down! All throughout the month of October, I’ve been counting down my favorite portrayals and reimaginings of the mythical King of the Vampires, Count Dracula. We’ve reached our penultimate choice on the countdown. And when it comes to this Count, one phrase truly stands out: You’ve Gotta Love the Classics. Number 2 is…Bela Lugosi.

“Dracula never ends. I don’t know if I should call it a virtue or a curse, but it never ends.” These words – delivered by Bela Lugosi near the end of his life – have forever cemented his relationship with his most famous character. While there have been many, many popular Draculas over the years, the single most iconic will always be Lugosi. True, the 1931 film starring him has its clunky and dated moments, but it also is still effectively creepy in several places, and a big part of that comes from his incarnation of the Count of Transylvania. Lugosi’s whole career was largely shaped by his association with Dracula, and so was the history of the character. Many believe that much of what we associate Dracula with today came from Lugosi; this is both true and untrue. The LOOK we so often associate the character as having came from before Lugosi’s time: it was first established by actor Raymond Huntley, among others, in a long-running West End stage production of Dracula. When the show was brought to Broadway, the decision was made – mostly for purposes of money – to cast a relative unknown in the role of the Count. Lugosi, at the time, was still scraping to make a name for himself in America (after a long and successful stage career in Europe), and ended up winning the role. History was made on the stages of NYC, and it was only cemented when Lugosi was cast in Universal’s 1931 feature film production, based on both the book and the stage show. Interestingly enough, Lugosi was not the first choice for the role…but when other actors died or simply became unavailable or unwilling to tackle the character, the decision was made to cast him after he lobbied extensively for the part. From that moment on, Lugosi would never be able to escape the clutches of his vampiric alter-ego: he only played Dracula twice in movies (the 1931 picture and “Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein”), but this didn’t prevent him playing other Dracula-like characters in other films, or having guest appearances in-character as the Count on TV and in short subjects, or even from reprising the role onstage several times over the course of his life. His relationship with the role was a love-hate affair: on the one hand, he had made a name for himself, and would always be known as cinema’s premier vampire. On the other hand, this, and various…shall we say, managerial issues throughout his career? Prevented him from ever truly stepping out of the shadow of Dracula. That 1931 picture was the moment he peaked as a performer…and it was all downhill, with very few other ups, from there. Nowadays, Lugosi’s Dracula is often perceived as somewhat hokey and cartoony, and I don’t think that’s entirely fair. After so much exposure to exaggerated portrayals that are more or less parodies of his character – many of which we’ve discussed in earlier parts of this list, and our Honorable Mentions – it’s understandable people would have that feeling, but once you actually watch him AS Dracula, you can realize there really is a gravity and a power to his portrayal that makes it effective. Is it melodramatic? Yes, but that’s exactly what the story of Dracula is: a melodrama. It’s just a very GOOD melodrama. Lugosi’s thick, easily-mocked accent was actually his real one: he was actually born and raised for a good part of his life in Transylvania, which gives his voice an authenticity few other actors have. There’s a misconception that the slow, steady way he spoke as the Count was a result of him still learning English; in fact, by the time 1931 rolled around, he was quite fluent in English, and this was a deliberate choice. Lugosi saw Dracula as a living corpse; that is, after all, what a vampire IS at the end of the day. Much of what he did was therefore meant to give one a sense of something dead PRETENDING to be alive; almost like something else was living under that handsome face and those fiery eyes. He was highly methodical and meticulous in his acting, using every part of his body to his advantage to give Dracula an appropriately hypnotic sense of presence, and even mild hints of pathos that many overlook. His Dracula is both one of the most human and inhuman at the same time. One thing I must also say is that Lugosi’s Dracula not only forever established Dracula, but also his nemesis, Professor Van Helsing. In the book, Van Helsing is just a scientist who is willing to believe in the supernatural; he’s not an experienced monster hunter, just a man who knows about vampires and realizes what’s going on can’t be explained rationally. It was really this movie that established the relationship between Van Helsing and Dracula and made them interconnected. Part of this is because the actor who plays Van Helsing in the 1931 film, Edward Van Sloan, had worked with Lugosi many, many times onstage with each of them playing the same roles. They had long since developed a chemistry and connection, and with the changes the film made from the stage play and novel alike, their two characters became even more closely linked. Van Helsing becomes almost like a Sherlock Holmes figure in the 1931 picture, with Dracula as his undead Moriarty: each is the only one who can stop the other, and despite their mutual desire to destroy one another, they seem to have an odd and unusual respect for each other, at the same time. Whether you think Lugosi’s Dracula – in terms of the film or his performance – have aged well or not, one thing cannot be easily denied: when people think of Dracula, when people IMPERSONATE Dracula, it is Lugosi they try to imitate or conjure up, at least nine times out of ten. For that reason above all else, he has deserved his high marks. Lugosi has been deceased for many decades…but it’s just as he said all the way back then: “Dracula Never Ends.” Who can top the great Bela Lugosi? Find out tomorrow, when I unveil my number one favorite Dracula of all time. Hint: If you haven’t guessed who it is yet, I guess I’ll have to Hammer it in.

[madpanda75]

“Taking Chances Part 7: All in the Family”

I’m back with the latest chapter where Rafael spends a Sunday with the Carisi family. So sorry it took me so long to get this out. Thank you so much for your patience and thanks for all of your sweet comments. Stay tuned for the next part ❤️

The clang of the bells of St. Thomas pierced through the Staten Island spring air, their melodic rings beckoning churchgoers for Mass. Rafael watched people dressed in their Sunday best walk through the red double doors of the stone cathedral as you drove the car into the church parking lot.

Turning off the ignition, you looked towards Rafael and gave him an expectant smile. “Ok, you ready?”

A sigh below past his lips. “Ready.”

“Are ya’ nervous?” you teased with a playful nudge to his shoulder.

“Me? Nervous?” Rafael scoffed. “Please, I do not get nervous,” he lied when in reality, he was a bundle of nerves. In his nearly twenty years as an ADA, Rafael had faced down cold-blooded murderers and rapists in the courtroom and yet he had never been more nervous than he was at that moment.

Ever since the unfortunate encounter in his office, he had been unable to shake Sonny’s voice from his head, a terrifying thought under any circumstance. What if your family shared his sentiments about the two of you dating? He could envision it now—a large Italian family shooting daggers at him as he walked arm in arm with you. It would be like re-enacting a scene from The Godfather.

You arched a brow at him, not falling for his cool facade. “Everything will be fine,” you reassured him. “Anyways, it's not my family you should be worried about. You should be more worried about bursting into flames when you step into the church.” You leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, “Especially after what we did last night.”

“How could I forget,” he purred. The image of you tied up and blindfolded to the bed, writhing in ecstasy as he licked whipped cream off your nipples was forever seared into his brain. He cupped your face and captured your lips with his, tracing the seam of your mouth with his tongue. You softly moaned and tilted your head, deepening the kiss when a tap on your driver side window caused you both to jump and split apart.

There was your older sister, Gina, standing outside your car with a smirk firmly planted on her face. “You might wanna watch where ya’ suck face, lil’ sis. Father Betino just walked past. See ya’ inside,” she said with a wink and headed towards the church.

You rolled your eyes and stepped out of the car with Rafael. “So which sister is that again?” he asked.

“That’s Gina. She just got engaged for the 11th time to a Wall Street broker. She claims this time it’s for real that he’s ‘the one’,” you explained, using air quotes before winding your arm around his as you walked up the stone steps. “Teresa, my other sister, strictly dates men who make six figures and above. I swear she considers Forbes to be her own personal dating ad. Ya’ already know Bella and Tommy, and of course there’s Sonny. Any questions?”

“Gina, Teresa, Bella, Tommy, and Sonny,” he softly repeated, trying to retain the information you had just thrown at him. “I think I got it.”

He opened the door, stepping inside after you to find your family waiting in the vestibule, their loud conversations echoing against the walls. Several children, who Rafael assumed to be your nieces and nephews, ran around the giant holy water font, laughing and squealing in delight. The door closed behind you with a deafening thud and the family chatter came to a halt, their attention now turned towards you and Rafael.

“Hi everyone.” You smiled and waved, being preoccupied with Rafael and work it had been ages since you had seen everyone. Your family swarmed you, sweeping you up in hugs and kisses. Spotting Rafael awkwardly standing off to the side, you reached out and grabbed his hand, leading him to your parents. “Ma, Pops, this is Rafael Barba.”

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Carisi. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he said and extended his hand to your mother.

“Please, call me, Julia,” your mom replied and shooed his hand away, pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Rafael. We’ve heard so much about you.”

You tapped her on the back.“Ok, Ma. Please do not crush my boyfriend to death,” you joked.

When she let go, Rafael noticed how much you looked like your mother—the same warm eyes, same brilliant smile, same delicate nose. He briefly imagined what you would look like when you grew older and his heart fluttered at the thought of standing by your side in the years to come, surrounded by children and grandchildren.

Unfortunately that thought was quickly dashed when he noticed your father. Dominick Carisi, Sr. stood with his arms crossed, tilting his head as he inspected Rafael with a slight frown. It was the same look that Sonny had whenever he was eyeing a potential suspect. A look Rafael recognized all too well. Standing his ground under your father’s steely stare, he held out his hand.

After a pregnant pause, your father finally shook his hand. “You can call me, Mr. Carisi.” He wrapped a protective arm around you. “So, you’re the one my little patatina has been dating.”

“Pops,” you said in a warning tone.

“Oh Dom, relax.” Your mom waved him off, turning her attention back to your boyfriend. “So are you Catholic, Rafael?

“Ma, please,” you whined and gave Rafael an apologetic look.

“It’s ok, Y/N.” Rafael smiled. He knew all too well what it was like to have a prying parent. “I was raised Catholic. I used to go to St. Rita’s with my mother in the Bronx.”

“How nice. Maybe she can join us sometime,” Julia said.

“Ok, Ma. Why don’t you and Pops go grab our pew before the Marchese clan steals it from us again.” You gently lead your parents into the church. “We’ll see you in there.”

Your sisters walked past you both, greeting Rafael on their way inside to join your parents. Teresa gave you a subtle thumbs up and mouthed, “He’s hot,” before she ran to catch up with Bella and Tommy.

You stayed in the vestibule with Rafael, knowing he would need a minute or two to recover after meeting your family. “See that wasn’t so bad.”

Rafael let out a long breath. It was only 10:15 and he felt as if he had just ran a marathon. “They’re great,” he replied. “Hey, what does patatina mean?”

“My little potato,” you mumbled, your cheeks turning bright pink. “Apparently, I resembled a lumpy spud at birth.”

He laughed and took your hand, leading you into the church when Sonny burst in. “Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t find a parkin’ spot,” he said a little out of breath. Giving you a big hug, he then turned and noticed Rafael. His face instantly fell as soon as he locked eyes with the ADA. “Barba.”

“Carisi.” Rafael gave a curt nod of acknowledgement.

Your eyes darted between the two men like you were witnessing a tennis match. “You know this may seem like a crazy idea, but while you’re out of work, why don’t you call each other by your first name?”

“Fine,” Sonny conceded and opened the door to the church as the choir began to sing. “After you, Rafael.

Rafael shook his head. “Oh no. After you, Sonny.”

Sonny feigned sincerity and placed his hand over his heart. “Oh no, I insist.”

“No, I insist,” Rafael retorted.

By this point, Mass would be over and Rafael and Sonny would still be arguing about who goes first. “Hey Abbott and Costello, how about I go first.” You walked between the two men and grabbed Rafael by the arm. “What am I gonna do with you two?” you whispered, leading him down the aisle to the front pew where your family was sitting.

*****

Rafael was a lapsed Catholic. He hadn’t stepped foot inside a church since the SVU squad arrested Monsignor Mulregan for an underage sex trafficking ring. The lack of humanity he had witnessed over the years combined with his turbulent childhood had made his relationship with faith complicated.

But on this particular morning with you by his side, all the cynicism and doubt he had towards a higher being seemed to wash away. Rafael focused on the words being spoken. The words forever etched into every Catholic’s memory; no matter how long it’s been since they attended Mass. The same words he would speak every Sunday as a child sitting next to his abuelita. Stealing a glance at you, he softly smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, feeling completely at peace.

After the service, everyone caravanned over to the Carisi home for lunch. Hearing stories of your childhood and working with Sonny over the years had made Rafael curious about your parents’ home. As you parked in front of 193 Sycamore Avenue, he was pleasantly surprised to find a red brick Victorian home with a front porch and bay windows. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting come to life. There was even a white picket fence.

As you walked up the steps with Rafael, hand in hand, you overheard your sisters talking and kids screaming, creating a cacophony at a dangerously high decibel. “Ok. Easy part is over. Now we have to go to lunch.” You let out a long breath. “Brace yourself, Barba.”

Before you could pull your key out, Teresa beat you to the punch and flung open the door. “Come on in, baby sis and Mr. ADA.” She winked at Rafael and took his coat, placing it in the entryway closet. “Hey, uh...Mr. ADA?”

Rafael blushed. “You can call me Rafael.”

“Ok, Rafael.” Teresa furrowed her brow as she took in his state of dress. “I couldn’t help but notice your Tom Ford designer suit. Tell me how much does an ADA have to make in order to afford that type of fashion?”

You glared at your sister, stepping between her and Rafael, who was still stunned at the intrusive question. “Mind your own beeswax, Teresa Emilia Carisi.”

“Break it up, ladies. Don’t make me get the hose,” your mom warned, popping her head out from the kitchen before turning to Rafael. “Make yourself at home.”

“Do you need any help?” he asked, finally finding his voice.

“Absolutely not. You’re our guest.” She smiled and went back to work.

“Come on, Rafi. Let’s get out of here before Teresa asks for your pin number.” Teresa stuck her tongue out as you led him into the living room.

Your father came bounding down the stairs with a newspaper in hand. He observed how you giggled and wrapped your arms around Rafael. Just as he was about to step into the living room and tell the older man to watch where he put his paws on his angel of a daughter, Mrs. Carisi called him. “Dom, I need your help!”

“Coming, honey,” Dom grumbled and gave Rafael a stern look. “Behave yourself in here. Remember to leave room for the Holy Spirit.”

You rolled your eyes as soon as your father left. “I’m sorry about my family. I know they can be a little much.” Taking his hand, you traced a prominent vein, following its path up to his wrist. It’s not that you were ashamed of your family. It’s just that you knew how they could be. Overprotective. Nosy. Overbearing. There was a reason why you had only brought one other boyfriend home, apart from Rafael.

“It’s fine, hermosa,” he reassured you before wandering around the living room, taking in the fireplace, the cozy furniture, walls filled with family photos, and a large sign that read “La Dolce Vita.” There were also enough statues of saints and the Virgin Mary that Rafael was sure that Mr. and Mrs. Carisi could start their own church.

Rafael spied a picture of you as an enthusiastic twelve year old with braces and butterfly clips in your hair. “That was taken at a Backstreet Boys concert,” you said with a sheepish grin.

A smirk tugged at his lips, noticing a family photo hanging over the mantle. A large picture that appeared to have been taken at JCPenney during the height of Olan Mills. You were a happy chubby baby being held by your mom surrounded by your siblings and father. “Huh, you really did look like a potato when you were little.”

“Jerk.” You playfully smacked him on the shoulder. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure, what do you have?”

“Well we have water.” Winding your arms around his neck, you tugged him down for a slow tantalizing kiss. “Wine?” You kissed him once more. “An assortment of products made by the Coca Cola Company?” With a flirty giggle, you captured his lips again, fingering the hair on the nape of his neck.

He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Water will be fine.”

“Coming right up.” You teasingly nipped his bottom lip and went into the kitchen.

Rafael sat on the floral printed couch and looked over at the picture of you at the Backstreet Boys concert perched on the end table. The longer he stared at that photo of you as a tween, the more apparent the age difference between you became. While you were fangirling over boy bands, he had already been working as a lawyer, making grown men cry on the witness stand.

He turned away from the photo only to find all of your nieces and nephews, some of which had suspicious sticky-like substances on their hands and faces, standing in the living room, staring at him like a pack of meerkats.

Rafael audibly gulped but tried to play it cool, remembering that children could smell fear.

A young boy, who looked about 8, with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes spoke first. “Are you Aunt Y/N’s friend?”

“Uh, yes I am,” he replied.

One of your nieces giggled. “Are you her boyfriend?”

“What’s a boyfriend?” asked another little girl with pigtails, who couldn’t have been more than four.

“That’s when a boy is friends with a girl but they kiss a lot,” explained the sandy blonde haired boy. From there it was an interrogation that would’ve put the FBI to shame with each of the kids asking him question after question.

“Do you kiss Aunt Y/N?”

“Are you gonna marry Aunt Y/N?”

“Are you gonna have kids?”

“Can I be in the wedding?!”

“Me too! Me too!”

“I wanna be a flower girl!”

“No me first! I wanna be the flower girl!”

“I can talk to dogs!”

Rafael’s head was spinning. He couldn’t get a word in edgewise over the kids and that dog comment left him completely stunned. Thankfully you and your father came in right before Rafael was sure the children were about to re-enact a scene from Lord of the Flies.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” You gave Rafael a sympathetic smile and handed over his glass of water while balancing a drooling baby on your hip. “Hey kids, why don’t we give Auntie Y/N’s friend a break. Uncle Sonny’s in the backyard and he has chocolate!”

“Chocolate!” The kids screamed and ran out of the room to go maul their uncle.

Rafael looked at you as if you had just offered him a seat on the last lifeboat during the sinking of the Titanic. You were about to sit down when you made a face and sniffed the air. Hoisting the baby in your arms up, you took a whiff of his diaper. “Phew, little man. Your diapers smell worse than the bathroom after your Uncle Sonny uses it.” The baby laughed in response. “I’ll be right back, Rafi. Bella, I’m going to change your offspring,” you shouted, heading up the stairs.

Dom Sr. placed a crudités platter on the coffee table and sat down in his usual chair in the corner of the living room. “So, I understand you work with Sonny.”

“Yes, sir,” Rafael said, reaching for a carrot stick.

“You know, Sonny was a big fan of yours. That is until you started dating Y/N.” He crossed his arms and fixed Rafael with an icy blue stare.

Rafael returned his gaze, refusing to back down. “This isn’t just a fling, Mr. Carisi. Y/N is very special to me. She’s my world.”

The older man was slightly stunned by Rafael’s admission. Before he could come up with a response, Sonny stumbled into the living room with a squealing little girl clinging to his leg. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair was a mess. The man looked as if he was coming back from fighting a war and he was on the losing side.

“Ok, Y/N. You win,” Sonny said, completely out of breath. “Go play with Nonni for a little bit. Uncle Sonny needs a break.” He set his niece down and ruffled her hair as he left to go help his sisters set the table.

The little girl ran up to Rafael and gave him a bright smile, climbing up on the couch next to him. “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“Your name is Y/N too?” Rafael asked.

She nodded her head enthusiastically causing her pigtails to bounce up and down. “Yep. Mommy named me after my favo-wite aunt! What’s your name?”

“I’m your aunt’s friend, Mr. Barba.”

“Mista Bawba.” Little Y/N tested the name on her tongue.

Rafael bit his cheek to keep from laughing at the precocious child. “You can call me Rafi if you like.”

“Ok, Wafi!” She hopped off the couch and ran out of the room, returning in a matter of seconds with a book that was almost as big as she was. “Can you wead?”

Rafael chuckled a bit. “I think I can manage.” Y/N climbed back on the couch and made herself comfortable on his lap, ready for him to start. Glancing up, he saw Dom Sr. with a pleasantly surprised look on his face. He gestured for Rafael to go ahead. Clearing his throat, Rafael cracked open the book and began to read the story.

You came bounding down the stairs with a freshly changed baby only to stop in your tracks when you came upon a sight that made your heart flutter, soar, and anything else that might require a trip to the cardiologist. There in the living room was your boyfriend with your little niece sitting on his lap, making her giggle as he did funny voices while reading her “The Day the Crayons Quit.” The book you had gotten her this past Christmas.

Sensing your presence, he stopped mid-sentence and caught you staring at him. “Don’t stop now. This is the good part.” You immediately plopped down on the couch next to him and little Y/N. His expression softened and he paused, committing this moment to memory: you sitting by his side with a baby nestled in your arms. Locking eyes, you simultaneously knew that this was what you both wanted—a family. It never felt right with anyone else. But having a family with Rafael, there was no other way to describe it other than perfect. And he felt the exact same way.

*****

“How cute is that?” Gina cooed.

Teresa set the placemats down on the dining room table and went over to her sister. “I know. I think my ovaries just exploded.”

Bella nodded as she laid out the silverware. “Ma needs to get a mop cause I’m a puddle right now.”

Sonny walked in from the kitchen with an armful of plates, furrowing his brow when he saw his three sisters practically drooling. “What’s goin’ on in here?”

“Oh nothin’. Just watching the sexy Cuban man in the living room entertaining our children,” Bella said.

Sonny followed his sister’s gaze to find you and Rafael, surrounded by all of your nieces and nephews playing Candy Land, even your father had joined the game. “Rafael? Please,” he scoffed. “If you find uptight tiny men with overly coiffed hair attractive.”

Gina made a face. “What’s with you?”

“Yeah,” Bella chimed in, taking the plates from her brother and placing them on the table. “I thought you worshipped the ground this guy walks on.”

Sonny snorted. “That was before I caught them on Nonna’s table.”

“Oh yeah, Y/N told me about how ya’ cock blocked her.” Gina smirked and nudged her brother. “Sounds like our lil’ sis is getting satisfied.”

“I wonder if he has a brother,” Teresa mused.

Sonny groaned and plopped down on the dining room chair. “Not you guys too. Anyways, don’t start planning Y/N’s bachelorette party just yet. After tonight, I predict this relationship will start to fizzle out pretty fast.” He stood up and finished setting the table.

“Sonny, what did ya’ do?” Teresa put her hands on her hips and gave her brother a warning glare.

“Why are ya’ pointin’ the finger at me. I’m just sayin’ don’t expect those two to work out. There may be someone else out there for Y/N.” Sonny shrugged and grabbed a piece of garlic bread, taking a bite. “Someone more appropriate. Someone who’s not about to enter their twilight years,” he muttered.

All three of his sisters swooped in and surrounded him. There was no place to escape. He was trapped. Teresa narrowed her eyes. Gina smacked the bread out his hand.

“You better not fuck this up for her. I mean it. She’s happy.” Bella punched him in the shoulder.

“What’s going on in here?” Julia arched her brow, setting a large platter of ragu tagliatelle on the table.

“Nothing,” all of the Carisi children simultaneously said with innocent smiles plastered on their faces.

Knowing her children, Mrs. Carisi was not buying their act. “Uh-huh. Last time you said ‘nothing’. I caught you all fingerpainting the living room walls with chocolate syrup. Whatever you’re doing, stop. It’s time to eat.”

*****

“More parmigiana, Rafael?” Julia asked with a warm smile as the ADA devoured his food.

“Yes, please.” Rafael happily accepted the platter and took his second serving. “Everything is delicious.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” she replied. Mrs. Carisi had outdone herself. The dining room table was laden with various pastas, lasagna, mussels in a simmering broth, and bread. With each bite, Rafael could feel his stomach expand and yet he couldn’t stop himself from eating. By the end of the night, he was sure one of his buttons would pop.

Taking a sip of his wine, he noticed a painting of what looked to be a street market in Italy on the wall. Vibrant colors depicted vendors selling fruits, vegetables, and various wares on a cobblestone alley. Rafael lost himself in the artwork for a moment. He could practically hear the Italian women barter and bicker over the best price for tomatoes. “That’s a beautiful painting.” He turned to you. “Let me guess. One of yours?”

“Actually that was painted by my grandmother. It’s a market in Naples. My great-grandfather used to sell fish there every week and Nonna Carisi would go with him. She would paint to pass the time,” you remarked.

“You never told me that before,” Rafael said with a smirk.

“Nonna Carisi was an amazing painter,” Julia added. “She used to babysit Y/N. I would come home from work and find them both painting their next masterpieces.”

“Guess it runs in the family then.” Rafael gave you a sly wink.

Mr. Carisi softly chuckled. “I remember when I came home from the hospital after having my heart attack and Y/N announced at dinner one night that she decided to quit the MBA program at NYU so that she can devote her life to art. I swear, I almost had another heart attack right here at this table.”

You sighed, having heard this story countless times before. “Life is short, Pops. I would rather spend my time doing what I love and pursuing my dreams than being bored and miserable reviewing portfolio investments and marketing strategies, slaving away for the almighty dollar. Besides, aren’t you always saying that all you want in life is for your patatina to be happy?”

Mr. Carisi nodded and softly smiled. “Yes, I did and I’m proud of you and what you’ve accomplished.”

“I think Y/N is an incredible artist,” Rafael said. “When we first met, it was her passion for art that really struck me. Her paintings are absolutely captivating. She’s one of the most talented people I know.” He took hold of your hand under the table, running his thumb across your knuckles. Your sisters gave each other a knowing look, wiggling their eyebrows while your brother rolled his eyes. You blushed at his compliment and took a sip of your wine, never letting go of his hand.

“So, when do you two plan on tying the knot?” Gina asked.

You whipped your head around. “Gina?!”

Your sister feigned innocence. “What? I was just askin’. And anyways, time’s a wastin’, lil sis.” She held up her hand and showed off her 3.5 carat pear shaped yellow diamond engagement ring. “Tick Tock.”

Your mom’s eyes lit up. “You know, Nonna Carisi’s wedding dress is in the attic. We can head up there after lunch and try it on.”

“Just as long as you have the wedding in the fall,” Bella said and rubbed her belly. “It’ll give me time to lose the rest of the baby weight.”

Teresa shook her head. “No way. She should have a summer wedding. I bet my firm can book the Plaza for August.” She immediately took out her phone and started to shoot off a text to her assistant.

As your sisters argued over your wedding date, your mom continued, “Of course, we’d have to alter the dress. Nonna Carisi was a little hippy. God bless her.”

You turned beet red. The last time you were this mortified was when you were 16 and got busted making out in the movie theater by your parents. “Can we please stop this crazy conversation and come back from whatever insane alternate reality you ladies are living in and just enjoy our meal. Not another word about the Plaza, wedding dresses, or anything about my or Rafael’s future for the rest of the evening. Thank you.”

Everyone around the table was quiet and focused on their food until Rafael cut through the silence. “Just as long as our kids don’t look like a sack of potatoes, I’m good.”

Rafael’s surprise joke caused you to choke on your wine. He patted your back as you coughed and sputtered. Surprisingly, your father snorted a laugh. As the day progressed, he began to grow fond of Rafael. The laughter became infectious and soon everyone joined in. Well, everyone except for Sonny.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Sonny shot right up with a smug smile on his face. “I’ll get it.”

Your mom and dad eyed each other curiously from across the table. “Were you expecting someone? Dom asked his wife. Julia shook her head no.

You dropped your fork with a clang, instantly recognizing the voice of the person Sonny was greeting at the door. “Hey everyone! Look who’s here!” Sonny announced as he led Theo into the dining room.

All the color drained from your face, you looked as if you had seen a ghost. The shock of seeing your ex quickly began to wear off and was replaced with rage. White hot, explosive rage. As your blood began to boil, you silently debated who to kill first—your brother or ex-fiance.

@glimmerglittergirl​ @southern-magnolia​ @sweetcannolicarisi​ @delia26​ @obfuscateyummy​ @sass-and-suspenders​ @eclecticminded​ @thatesqcrush​ @katmstanton​ @amirightcounsellor​ @beltzboys2015-blog​ @letty-o​ @sonnysdoll​ @lyssa1385​ @sweetsummertime99​ @burningsorr0ws​ @gibbs274​ @izzythefanfreak​ @babypink224221​ @livxrafa​ @esparza-army​ @obsessionprofessional​ @ottosuricato​ @melsquared79​ @dreila03​ @frenchiefoxy​ @tropes-and-tales​ @thecraziestcrayon​ @goodluckfindingone​ @scarlettsoldier​ @youreverycolor​ @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii​ @imjustreallynosy​ @graniairish​ @ashley-chi​ @lolacolaempath @cocomel0613​ @imagine-all-the-imagines​ @mysterioustrashadventures​ @that-girl-named-alex​ @scapricciatello​ @mrsrafaelbarba​