#ab/ap is still my baby

[farrahda5hy]

Hey

Favourite fall out boy songs??

Woof…I’ve been a FOB since I was 11 years old circa 2005, so it really hard to say I have an all time favorite song. From an objective standpoint from watching the evolution of the band, I think Infinity on High is the best album they’ve released (this was before SMFS came out. I will have to rerank but I imagine SMFS will be in the top three/for and maybe IOH will be bumped down one or switch with FUTC)

I think the beauty of being a longtime fan is that your favorite song also changes and stays the same as you get older. Because growing up it’s like being a Matrioshka doll of your former selves.

I am always singing “Thriller” because it reminds me so much of being an early teenager since Folie à Deux didn’t come out until the end of my freshman year. But “Gold Shipped Standard” is the song on Folie that’s underrated imo but I think it’s the truth it kinda that era. It’s the weird uncertainty of what’s going to happens it’s the desperation of having a voice but not have the courage or being kept from using it (which being a teen is all about sometimes especially being a teenager of color).

When Save Rock and Roll came out, I was in my sophomore year of college (technically would have been second semester if freshman year), so “Where Did the Party Go” and “Miss Missing You” were very much my jams. I don’t listen to that album as much because….i just don’t. Part of me still see it was the post hiatus album, but I think it’s also just kinda a moment in time that you kinda just think about fondly or something. I think the album being the first post hiatus album gets so clouded that I think I was just so happy they were back….fuck that I just remembered “Phoenix” best song (but also Young Volcanoes because I’m a Pete girlie and I love Patrick’s laugh in that song also umm Rat a Tat Tat.)

AB/AP I was studying abroad, and I was so upset that I thought I wouldn’t be able to hear that album. But I think other than Centuries (because I loved the Song “Tom’s diner” and the bass solo after the bridge still gives me the ASMR tingles to this day and even thinking about it gives me tingles), the song I listened to the most was the “Fourth of July” and “Immortals”. Those are still up there. I didn’t like Favorite Record when the album came out and skipped over it. But I appreciate that song now that I’m older. “Irresistible” has my favorite music video. I love the videos where the band is doing dumb shit, and I just love Andy in that video. Special shoutout to “Twin Skeletons” and “Jet Pack Blues.” FUCK EVERYTHING I JUST SAID UMA THURMAN! Best song! Best bass! Best summer fun! Good video! Yeah. I loved the Boyz of Zummer tour. Had a good time.

MANIA there are no misses on the album honestly. It was all good. But “Sunshine Riptide” is my favorite song on the album. “Stay Frosty”, “Church” and “Hold me Tight or Don’t” are tied for third.

SMFS there are also no misses on the album. Currently, my most sung while I’m out and don’t have music are “Fake Out” “Heaven, Iowa” and “SMFS.” Honorable mentions for “Baby Annihilation”

I literally was able to buy Clandestine Industries merch for the first time, and my inner selves were so hella impressed.

Also for FUCT: “Sugar” hold the #1 space mostly because it was on the radio playing early Saturday morning in May for the first time in Maryville, TN, and Patrick’s voice literally woke me up out of a deep sleep, and I was like “Who is this!?” Literally was so mad they didn’t say who it was because it was Saturday and then the radio hosts on Monday morning played the song again and I was like “it’s the song!” Fun Fact; the hosts were trying to figure out whether the lyric was “loaded God complex” or “loaded gun complex.”

I forgot Take this to your grave because I think at the time I found out FOB had another album before FUTC (I think this was between FUTC and IOH or slightly after IOH) but “Dead on arrival” “Saturday” (which makes me so happy that it’s their like encore or finisher song) and “Calm Before the Storm”

I will spare you the two EPs because this is just memory lane for me at this point unless you’re curious.

[wind-becomes-lightning]

i’m not anon but RANT AB HIM ENABLING YOU !!!!

hello same brain @ahhhhhwhat :D

Alright, first and foremost I have to admit of course that there is a certain appeal of his Boruto design ( and I do mean Kishimoto's design, Ikemoto is.. uh... please don't draw Konohamaru, thank you.) He's grown up very nicely what can I say. So it definitely started this way and I tried to deny it for a while and get over it (like he was baby in the og naruto! I should not .. think like THIS about him, he is a child!) to no avail LOL Anyway, i started thinking more about him and now I have manyy thoughts.

I have at hing for teacher characters if that isnt already clear. Kakashi has branded my brain in such a way that now mentors are just CHEFS KISS to me? So he already had that uh going for him apart from his ... looks.

Konohamaru is in many ways portrayed to be a double to Naruto, with the loud mouth, prank personality that wants to become Hokage, but I think he is much more uh- serious about things. Not saying Naruto wasn't serious about his dreams, he really was, but Konohamaru seems much more grounded, I don't know how to explain that, its just a feeling. I think his Hokage dream was for a while only because he idolised his grandfather, and later because he idolised naruto. IN my mind I'm not sure if he REALLY wants to be Hokage or if he just wants to be like the people in his life that mean a lot to him.

Naruto in general is a big influence on him. People often compare it to the rleationship Naruto has with Iruka, but I think that one is much more parentla, while Naruto and Konohamaru are only 3 years apart and more like brothers. I mean we know Konohamaru is a total Naruto fanboy from day 1 pretty much and still is. (HC time, I think Konohamaru actually had his first crush ON naruto, in the same way i think Tenzo's first crush was Kakashi, just complete admiration yk?)

OK before I go into headcanon territory I want to talk about Boruto age Konohamaru. I love his grown up design, thats not a secret. I love love love the choice that he looks closer to his grandfather the more he ages. I chose to believe that was done on purpose! (one more reason why the ikemoto design suucks). I love how the tail end of his scarf got shorter but the scarf got bigger and ffluffier. I know people have commented on his eye colour changing to this dark blue colour, but I love it. It fits him so well I'm glad they did that. He looks great.

He should be SO OP. He SHOULD! He can use fire and wind, is shown using different katon techniques, Asuma's chakra blades (before Mirai get them? Or others? I think it was never explained) and the rasengan of course. He has a summoning contract with the usual Sarutobi apes AND the toads of mount myoboku. He can use his ape summon the same way his grandfather did, transform with him etc. But he never gets anything to do! (or rarely). THey are so focused on letting the students shine that he often just gets knocked out or is not present. The Boruto anime canon at least lets him do some stuff, but the manga makes him absolutely useless for no good reason. LIke am I still pissed that in anime canon when mitsuki goes missing shikamaru tells Konohamaru not to look FOOR HIS OWN STUDENT because he is TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED.... SHIKAMARU... like what the fuuuuuuuuuuuu- (how shikamaru and naruto can sit there and tell him oh yeah, its just YOUR DAMN STUDENT, but others will take care of it its fine (namely like... a few 12 year old genins) is beyond me and i understand that they are older now but fucking hell shikamaru will you take a hard look at yourself? and i understand thats done so that the child characters get something to do but it makes nooo logical sense and pisses me off beyond believe.)

He genuinly cares for Boruto a lot. I mean he cares for all his students (as all the teachers in naruto do, see my long rant a while back about how much I love the PLATONIC relationship of teacher student in naruto as a whole), but Boruto and him have a closer relationship for obvious reasons. It's funny when you notice how often Boruto calls him "nii-chan" instead of "sensei" and he does not correct him. I mean sometimes he DOES correct him, but often enough he also forgets, because he is just too used to it. I think the idea that they were togethre since Boruto was born, that Naruto was like entrusting his first born son to Konohamaru is just lovely. I also think its great that it is him who teaches Boruto the rasengan. I mean Naruto teaching his son would have been a great bonding moment too, but I just love the chain of teachers teaching their students continues like that.

Apart from that you just know he loves Mirai. We don't see them interact all too often which is a shame, but you just know he is like incredibly protective of her too. if you wanna theorise the fact that he uses Asuma's chakra blades and eventually Mirai does you could easily think that he might have taught her. Actually I'm going to hc that now ok bye.

Headcanons under cut because this is already so long

It is heavily implied that both his parents are ANBU, so in my mind, his father (who i yet need a name for), Asuma's older brother, was incredibly talented as a shinobi and entered anbu early (not as early as Kakashi and Itachi, but early). He was supposed to be the clan head after Hiruzen and was the golden boy child, but then he realised he would much rather have an anbu career. As such, he gave over his right to clan head to Asuma (which leads to its whole other can of worms for Asuma, who we are not talking about here, but he wasnt as talented and was at odds with his dad a lot and generally just wasn't as great as his brother and suddenly he had so much responsibility?? terrrible). He then met his wife also in ANBU and Konohmaru was born, while both parents remained high ranking ANBU members.

As such, Konohamaru was raised by sitters nannies and tutors. Thats not because his parents didnt love him or want him, but because they were so very busy and thought well he would be in good hands. So his only real connection was to his grandfather and while Hiruzen was vrey busy all the time as well, you know how grandparents are with grandchildren. Hiruzen loved that boy from the moment he opened his eyes yk? So the first person Konohmaru admired was his grandfather, who like in many ways was more parent to him than his parents. THat of course until Naruto came around.

In many ways as a kid he was probably a little like Damian in Spy Family. Someone who was loudly telling everything who his important grandfather is to get attetion to mask how lonely he really felt. But he found two good friends that actually did like him for who he is, moegi and udon, and they stuck together well until where we are now in Boruto. I believe they did not care for his heritage quite as much as most the tutors did, Naruto of course didn't either, and that made him become the person he is today. If he didnt have them he might be a different, more arrogant version (And maybe that would be fun exploring in an AU)

Oh and Asuma! The perfect uncle. Idk, i just see them hanging out when Asuma has time. Asuma telling him about missions he has been on, promising Konohamaru to teach him in wind chakra usage. I can see Konohamaru teasing him about Kurenai and everything. IN my AU all the sarutobis call him "maru (chan or kun depending on levels of teasing him)" Asuma included.

in my AU he leaves the village for a while in his twenties, sort of like Asuma did, mostly to get away from.. uh.. the Oc i made for him that sort of broke his heart OOPS, but also to sort of define himself. There is a lot of conflicting feelings in his history, especially towards his grandfather. You gotta grapple with a person who has done bad stuff (even if they meant well) but never to YOU and that you cant help but miss but also are angry at. Thats a lot to work through. He comes back and becomes a teacher.WOO!

I think he fights like Hiruzen. Its hard to say because Hiruzen has one fight and then dies, but in my head their fighting styles are incredibly similar. It would make sense. Hiruzen taught jirayia, jirayia taught naruto, Naruto taught Kononohamaru. I think that just makes the resemblence of him to his grandfather even stronger. Tsunade has definitely felt nostalgic seeing him fight at least once. I also believe he can mix the wind and the fire when he wants do make megaaa fire ball.

Ive already kind of mentioned it above but I dont believe he really wants to be Hokage. Idk, i Just dont know, maybe he will be and I wouldnt complain, but it feels like to me as a kid he just said it because it gave him attention (a little like naruto) and as an adult he just says it because well its been with him for so long. I htink he is very content with Naruto being hokage.

I also think he was offered the place of clan head again once he turned 18, even though his parents said no to it. Because Asuma had died and mirai was still so tiny. But while he agreed to sort of be the stand in if necessariy and go to village meetings, he was gonna give the responsibility to mirai as soon as she was old enough, because it was her right.

yea. uh.. thats it! You see I love him a lot which is why I give him a very very dramatic love relationship to prove my love adhsflaksdf

[demonstars]

i opened my laptop to properly respond to ur fob album ranking top three you're so fucking real you are So Fucking REAL! infinity folie from under the cork tree !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking INCREDIBLE you ate. i remember listening to infinity on high for the first time and hearing 'now press repeat' i was like what can i do but press repeat i am a good sheep listening to my shepherd. i think, my full rating is .

1 infinity on high it's just so good. it's just so good. every time i listen i'm like damn. that's crazy. personality defining album.

2 folie a deux you're just joking. headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet makes me shake and scream and commit crimes what the Hell is going on there.

3 from under the cork tree classic. classic! joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of best friends.

from here the rating changes though. like right now i'd say my next fave is so much for stardust? cause i've been listening to it a lot recently. flu game insanities last night i dreamt i still knew you? i carved out a place in this world for two but it's empty without you i've got all this love i've got to keep to myself? don't piss me off, shut up.

then probably save rock and roll just cause it's so fun. it's so funny. wdym they made a full movie for it. elton john is there? sooooo 2013 it's just so scrumptious to me. letting people down is my thing baby, find yourself a new gig this town ain't big enough for two of us hello? also i spent a really long time Not listening to it and then relistened w my best friend when we were having a good night so now it's associated with good times.

then mania cause that was crazy. i love the sounds.

then ok and here's the thing: ab/ap and take this to your grave are both down there just cause ur right ab/ap has a collection of skips, and i think i like take this to your grave more but it's probably the album i've listened to the least for some reason.

and evening out w your girlfriend is funny but i don't think i've listened through all in one sitting so. that's on me.

but this ranking changes depending on ~vibes~

all that being said i dream of meeting pete wentz in a parking lot at night and fighting him a la fight club first fight just for funsies with the rest of the band being referees. and then like, getting lunch the next day.

MY BUGGO. youre so right i think mania and so much for stardust are interchangeable for me but mania just holds more emotional weight For Me so higher. and again its on me i need to watch the save r&r movie LIKE I RLLY LIKE SOME SONGS BUT THE PLACING IRKS ME IDK WHY. like really it depends on where you are in place and time but we are holding hands either way you get the top three. AND I ALSO DREAM OF MEETING PETE WENTZ BUT I WOULD JUST SHAKE HIS SHOULDERS AND ASK HIM WHY WOULD HE WRITE THAT.

[josephtrohman]

kelci my beloved bc you asked me these (except paramore self-titled bc you already did that) i am uno reversing them onto You: abap and after laughter <3

these anons that keep having mind meld moments with my beloved mutuals heehee<3

ok gotta not fuck up abap ranking🫡 just know all these songs r my beautiful baby girls!! and also even if it's still last in my ranking i've actually grown to really like the title track even tho i used to kind of hate it peace n love. now i realize it fucks. hope u appreciate my character growth<3

abap:

twink skeletons

the kids aren't alright (a CLOSE second mind u!!!!!!)

jet pack blues

novocaine

fourth of july

favorite record

uma thurman

centuries

immortals

irresistible

ab/ap

after laughter:

pool

told you so

rose-colored boy

caught in the middle

idle worship

hard times

tell me how

forgiveness

grudges

26

fake happy

no friend

send me an album and i’ll put the tracks in order from most → least favourite

[wavernot4love]

two back to back album rant posts? wahoo!!! anyways, buckle in kids while i ramble about, of course, So Much (For) Stardust, from the perspective of a fan since '14 whose favorite albums are futct, tttyg, & ioh, post-my first complete listen & typed out in real time as i revisit it & skip around from song to song

keep in mind, i did hear 4 or 5 songs live @ one of the listening parties last week, though they were kinda out of order & i also didn't really know which songs were which since there were some uhhh... let's just say scheduling complications @ the record store that kept the event from going down as planned, but such is life.

anyways!! i went in pretty optimistically, as i LOVED most of the songs i heard, + definitely enjoyed lftos from the start & mostly liked heartbreak.

lftos! i'll be completely honest and say this may still be my favorite song of the album. just feels like peak "spirit of fob," i guess, and definitely comes as a peak embodiment of that whole "what might have been, in between folie & srar" analogy.

at the listening party last week, a couple of us remarked on fake out sounding like the kinda song you'd drive into the sunset w the windows down to. or the kinda song that would show up in a coming of age movie w such a vibe. safe to say i still stand by that a week and a half later. a solid nighttime jam.

i will say, in my opinion, heaven, iowa is the most mania track on the album, at least in terms of the verses & first chorus, and i cannot truthfully say i've historically been a mania guy. however, the track maintains, at least to me, especially as it progresses, the soul of moments like super fade, off the 2018 ep lake effect kid, which, for me, felt like a more impactful, developed take on what they were going for with mania. not to mention, the full band feels more involved than on a lot of mania. so, i've gotta say, this will be a track i go back to.

alright, i am my own muse. i think this one kind of feels like a fusion of all of their post-hiatus work (definitely feel like whatever was going on in the best, darker moments of ab/ap shines through here accompanied by some of the fervor of the srar/ybc narrative), with a flavor of the theatrical elements of their older stuff sprinkled in. i believe this was the first one i heard at my listening party

i think the verses & bridge of this one remind me of srar. might be the bassline. question mark

pete spoken word time!! don't have too much to say here, just nice, as always, to hear this kinda thing from him.

a highlight, in my opinion. potentially feels the most like a throwback next to lftos. more srar vibes, probably the most of any.

i think this one feels the most "new" to me in terms of past songs recalling or blending other sounds fob has done over the years. also do really like the random callback to lftos.

all in all, i would say this album does largely feel like a bridge between pre & post-hiatus fob, where srar was a lot more of a sharp departure from the "old" fob people were familiar with.

one thing i will say to be completely truthful is that after my first complete listen, most of my favorite songs that really resonated with me were the ones i had already heard (either singles or the few from the listening party), which wasn't entirely what i was hoping for.

but at the same time, going back and skipping through a bit to make this post changed my perspective on a couple moments & i remain stoked on familiarizing myself with these songs further + getting a renewed appreciation for them thanks 2 my shows (cuyahoga, darien, & toronto) this summer.

regardless! i can appreciate this album for what it is, & it may be my favorite post-hiatus body of work (maybe tied w srar). above all, i can definitely see its place within fob's discography.

my top 3 songs, as of right now:

1. love from the other side

2. the kintsugi kid (ten years)

3. so much (for) stardust

feel free to share your takes & experiences listening! drop your favorite track(s)! your favorite fob album! tell me about what shows you're going to, if any! i want to hear it all, aka everyone's unique experiences!

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

rank the fob and mcr albums or i'll smash your kneecaps

Love you too bestie <3

I had to drag out my laptop to type all this but they are under the cut...

MCR

Three Cheers is my fav ever, thanks for the venom is my all time favorite it is never not playing in my head, I have the 3cheers shirt and everything. also ykwtdtgluip is another fav and helena just... i cry. and headband. it is a solid album start to finish.

Then I'd also have to do bullets because drowning lessons? sunsets? did i metion drowning lessons? A fav that has got me through some SHIT.

Black Parade is iconic and bangers front to back I am still spiralling cancer disenchanted I DON'T LOVE YOU (and it's GORGEOUS video). And blakc parade. My first karaoke song ever, sang it for my first acting class bit and put on eyeliner while doing it... I was a legend that day.

Danger Days. My love. The whole concept here though a wildly different color vibe from others was so good. My old discord name was dstroya after the song. It really ties with TBP if im being honest and again bangers cover to cover, s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w and bulletproof heart and nananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananana and need i go on, you get the point. (edited)

now, FOB. FOB is my baby and everything they do slaps and i like being kept on my toes for the vibes.

From under the cork tree is my #1 always, i have a tattoo based on olmuctnotsswwgs it is my ALL TIME fave song ever. the first album of theirs i ever owned. Nobody puts baby in the corner and sophmore slump are some favs and of couse sugar. I mean, com on.

Next I'd probably ( god I hate ranking my CHILDREN) Folie a duex. So many good ones, some Urie vocals. Coffee, idc, nosebleed, america's sweethearts, DONNIE my baby... need i say more?

3) take this to your grave. I will be buried with this album solely for it's title but also Dead on Arrival is my fav banger here, saturday, grand theft, reinventing... I like their early sound and the unhingedness of these songs

then I'd have to say... shit. um. Save rock and roll and AB/AP are a tie, these two bleed together for me and idk why but Centuries reignited my obsession with them and there are too many bangers here between the two: jet pack blues, alone together, young volcanos, ELTON FREAKIN JOHN, and sue me i think demi in irresistible was so good. I like the version with her and i will not apologize for that. Both albums bop equally hard for me.

Hot take. I hate putting it so low but I do love MANIA. Some of the songs i could take or leave but the others I am living for (because of), wilson is easily my top on this album, church, young and menace (ha, me), the begining of stay frosty when it just hits. Actually, looking at the track list again, i like more songs than I dislike here. My initial reaction to the more mainstream sound clouded my judgment at first and i didn't like the album, but everytime i listen to it I find new songs i like.

Now. Infinity is also full of bangers. Im like a lawyer (WERE THE NEW FACE OF FAILURE), hum halleluiah, bang the goldrums, ginasfs, and all the iconics that are on this album.

I know this is a ranked list but really they all tie for first and second place, I have my most faves and then the slightly lesser faves becasue my mans pete wentz and his crew can do no wrong. **I didn't rank Stardust because, well, but i alraedy know i am going to live for it. i love everything they do, I don't dislike any of thier songs, though some of the mainstreamers do rub me the wrong way if im in a bad mood because im sad they were a bit overplayed. Except for sugar, that one never is unwelcomed.

THE ROAD OUTSIDE MY HOUSE IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS... SO HUM HALLIELUA, JUST OFF THE KEY OF REASON (sorry i am JAMMING right now)

Also, some fun immages I feel you would appreciate

FOB is my baby and everything they do slaps and i like being kept on my toes for the vibes.

From under the cork tree is my #1 always, i have a tattoo based on olmuctnotsswwgs it is my ALL TIME fave song ever. the first album of theirs i ever owned. Nobody puts baby in the corner and sophmore slump are some favs and of couse sugar. I mean, com on.

Next I'd probably ( god I hate ranking my CHILDREN) Folie a duex. So many good ones, some Urie vocals. Coffee, idc, nosebleed, america's sweethearts, DONNIE my baby… need i say more?

3) take this to your grave. I will be burried with this album solely for it's title but also Dead on Arrival is my fav banger here, saturday, grand theft, reinventing… I like their early sound and the unhingedness of these songs

then I'd have to say… shit. um. Save rock and roll and AB/AP are a tie, these two bleed together for me and idk why but Centuries reignited my obsession with them and there are too many bangers here between the two: jet pack blues, alone together, young volcanos, ELTON FREAKIN JOHN, and sue me i think demi in irrisitable was so good. I like the version with her and i will not apologize for that. Both albums bop equally hard for me.

Hot take. I hate putting it so low but I do love MANIA. Some of the songs i could take or leave but the others I am living for (because of), wilson is easily my top on this album, church, young and menace (ha, me), the begining of stay frosty when it just hits. Actually, looking at the track list again, i like more songs than I dislike here. My initial reaction to the more mainstream sound clouded my judgment at first and i didn't like the album, but everytime i listen to it I find new songs i like.

[8:09 PM]

Now. Infinity is also full of bangers. Im like a lawyer (WERE THE NEW FACE OF FAILURE), hum halleluiah, bang the goldrums, ginasfs, and all the iconics that are on this album.

I know this is a ranked list but really they all tie for first and second place, I have my most faves and then the slightly lesser faves becasue my mans pete wents and his crew can do no wrong. **I didn't rank Stardust because, well, but i alraedy know i am going to live for it. i love everything they do, I don't dislike any of thier songs, though some of the mainstreamers do rub me the wrong way if im in a bad mood because im sad they were a bit overplayed. Except for sugar, that one never is unwelcomed.

THE ROAD OUTSIDE MY HOUSE IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS… SO HUM HALLIELUA, JUST OFF THE KEY OF REASON (sorry i am JAMMING right now)

also, some images i know you'll appreciate...

[passivenovember]

First chapter in Brush Fire, my shovel-talk fic wherein random adults and people in Billy’s life give Steve the shovel talk as the two fall, painfully, in love.

--

One: Carol

--

Thing is, Billy’s just Nancy Wheeler painted in contrasting shades of bullshit.

And Steve can’t pinpoint the day Hargrove turned into Billy, into a kaleidoscope that bleeds beyond asshole and dickwipe and evil step-brother, but really it’s all a side effect. A symptom of what’s coming, like a cough he doesn’t notice until it’s too late. 

‘Cause at the end of the day Billy’s smart and Steve. 

He’s got a thing for Brainiacs. 

The kind of smarts that could win bar trivia. Pay for a vacation to Europe with the money from an episode of Pyramid. Even better if the guy’s got claws. Pretty eyes that narrow alongside cheeks that blush pink and red, like gumdrops. 

“Help me write my essay,” Steve tells him, waiting outside Billy’s Advanced College Placement class with his collar popped. 

Billy’s smiling before Steve speaks to him. He’s chatting, limbs soft and smile wide, dorky, and then he hears that voice. Goes shocked still. Looks like he’s gonna piss his pants.

“I’ll, uh, see ya later, Bills,” Says that girl. Barb Holland. She pokes at the bridge of her glasses and disappears around the corner, shooting these worried little glances at Billy like he can’t take care of himself. Like he isn’t Hawkins High��s resident bad boy, player, macho-nacho–-

“What do you want, Harrington?” 

Billy’s teeth were pretty, Steve notes, when he was smiling. When he was happy. Now he's got this searing little twist to his lip, saddled with this sudden crash to reality. Steve shoves off the locker to make room for a pee-wee dork that says excuse me, calculating the way Billy’s baby blues have gone dry.

He’s exhausted and tired of it. Sick down to his fifteen-pack abs. 

“I want you to write my essay,” Steve repeats, thinking if he’s more direct Billy will go for it. 

Hargrove puffs out his chest. Squares his jaw. “Fuck no.” He says. Needing the fight.

“Wasn’t asking,” Steve says.

“I’m not writing your essay for you, dickweed.”

“Yeah? Why not?”

“'cause no one’s gonna believe you can spell multi-syllable words,” Billy spits, “And I’m not dumbing myself down to whatever kindergarten level class you’re taking–-”

“God, you’re a menace. You’re a forest fire.”

Billy’s cheeks flare at that. Bright red, freckles punching through like holes in notebook paper and Steve knows it.

He’s got him. Hook and line, just like Nancy, but then Billy’s walking off down the hallway. Leaning in a little hard with his boots, stomping holes into the cement. 

Steve follows after him. Says, “I’ll pay you.”

And Billy says, “I don’t want your money.”

That makes Steve laugh. Loud and sudden. “Everyone wants my money.”

“Everyone wants you, right? King Steve. Whole place’d probably shut down if you graduated, right? Need the golden boy around. The gold eggs he lays in the shit-covered green just outside B-Hall,” Hargrove leads them round the corner, stopping to dial and yank his locker open. “God, you’re a fucker–”

“And you’ve got the highest marks in AP English,” Steve says. He leans against the metal closest to Billy, foot propped to pass the time. 

He'll wait.

He’s already won. He’s got what he came here for, but Billy needs time to work it out for himself. All those brains behind pretty blonde princess curls and Billy devotes all his energy to the glare Steve's pinned with. Billy hisses and spits like a drowned kitten, thinking he’s tough. 

“Not wasting my time on you, Harrington,” Billy says. Like it’s supposed to hurt. “You’re a lost cause. Might as well get Wheeler to suck your dick and write that shit for you-–”

“Watch your mouth," Steve says gently.

 Gotta be patient. Give the boy room to think it over, run it back, mold his pretty pinks into an apology. 

"Nancy and I broke up," Steve says, like it matters. 

Like the way his voice still hitches a little, at the end, shaky and vulnerable, will make a difference.

It does and it doesn't. "What would you even write about," Billy demands, ignoring him. "Being rich? How it feels to be born with a silver fucking spoon in your mouth?"

Steve tenses all over, poised to take the heat of Billy's onslaught if it'll get him what he wants.

Billy lens in presses harder. "Oh, what about the way you're a washed-up beauty queen? You gonna cry about the hours and hours you put into impressing the cows around here only to have them run right over your perfect hair to get to the next freak on the list?"

Steve won't bite. "You think my hair's perfect?" 

And maybe that's a step too far. 

Billy grips the metal locker so tight the thing almost groans, baby blues laced with a challenge. That little lip twist has turned into a snarl and Steve.

Almost backs away. 

Almost backs down.

But the flush is packed on like fresh snow, glittering and saturated with pinks and magentas. Steve really does need help with his essay, so he leans closer. Says, "What can I do to get your help on this?" 

And waits for the walls to crumble around them.

--

“You’re not fooling anyone, Harrington,” Carol says. "You think you've got this whole school wrapped around your fingers but I see what you're doing."

And Steve knows it's Carol without having to look up from the pin-lanes scribbled in red across his essay. Knows it without swallowing the tucked-away mashed potatoes at the corner of his mouth. Knows her voice like he knew the chimes that signaled the end of nap time, all those years ago. The stick of a bandaid peeled from her skin and patted, harshly, onto his before another go on the tire swing. 

He doesn’t look up at her to point out that, “If I were smart enough to fool anyone I wouldn’t need help editing this fuckin’ thing.”

But Carol doesn’t stop. Keeps rolling on. Says, in that special shade of periwinkle irritation that she used to save for Tommy, “You could’ve asked someone else.”

Steve glances at her. Notices her hair’s different. “What do you mean?”

“Billy,” Carol spits. Word travels fast. She looks over her shoulder. Scans the lunch room as if afraid that he’ll spring up from the linoleum. Knock the tray out of her fist, or something. She turns back, eyes narrowed. “You could’ve asked anyone else–-”

“He’s got the best marks in English.”

“So?”

“Like I’m gonna hinge my future on someone with anything less than a perfect grade,” Steve chuckles, trying to change its tune somewhere in the middle so Carol doesn’t take this as a notice of war. “Look, the guy’s my ticket outta this shithole.”

“Harrington, you’re stuck. Like the rest of us.” Carol says.

And the thing is? Carol was the first girl who proved chicks could be cool and dangerous and three-dimensional. They were flirts at one point and friends, way before that, giggles and weekend sleepovers stretching all the way back to a blue, cloud-covered room Steve can hardly remember, so. 

He knows Carol. 

Maybe not as well as he used to, but. He knows the girl. Feels like she’s got his neck in her fist, from how tight she’s gripping the lunch tray. Senses that if he makes one step out of line, she’ll dig her fangs into him. 

“What’s your deal, Perkins?”

Carol’s eyes could melt through bone. 

Steve takes the last bite of his mashed potatoes before shoving his tray to the other side of the table. “You got a crush on him or something?"

"What?" Carol says, incredulous.

"Look, I know you're sweet on him--"

"Harrington, you're such a skeez if you thought, for even a minute that I'd ever do that to Tommy--"

"Alright, you're friends will Billy, then," Steve says, exhausted from the theatrics. "You're like his scary big sister, protecting him from the wolf in GAP clothing."

"You're such a dumbass," Carol groans, like Steve's whole thing is getting old and she wishes he'd call it a day. "Why don't you beg Wheeler to tutor you?"

"This conversation is melting my brain."

"Seriously, it's not like she'd say no," Carol says, "She's still got a soft spot for you even if Byers is stuffing her full on a daily basis--"

"--Billy's got a better grade than Nance--"

"--I mean, seriously. Couldn't you pick on someone in your own academic caste?"

"Jesus, Carol, why do you care so much?" Steve drops the act, the good-natured small talk for old time's sake, and lets his words land like fists on the rickety table top. 

All at once, Carol looks older. Wiser and mean and so, so worried. 

"You know what your problem is, Harrington?"

"Enlighten me," Steve says, bored.

"You've never been told no a day in your life."

Billy walks through the lunchroom doors, then, a copy of Moby Dick under one arm and a spiral notebook snatched under the base of his lunch tray. His arms, stiff with forced swagger as he scans the crowd for Steve, jerk when they spot one another.

His cheeks are pink. 

From a million miles away, swimming through a river of pissed-off Perkins, Steve can see it. 

"That boy isn't any different from the rest of us," Carol says tightly. She grips her own lunch tray, and says, "He's sensitive."

Steve opens his mouth to shit all over the floor, and.

"He is," Carol tells him. "Think whatever you want to but I know him. Billy's rough around the edges but he's smart. Too smart for his own good--"

"Smart enough to deal with me?"

Carol's mouth snaps shut, frowning as Steve moves his lunch tray and Billy floats into view. 

"Harrington," He says sharply. Then, to Carol, "Perch Perkins, looking frosty today."

"Fuck off, Malibu Barbie," Carol says, but there's a softness there that takes Steve back to kindergarten. 

He swallows against a pang of jealousy, tracking the way her eyes go warm for this asshole.

Billy tacks a wet kiss to her forehead and then plops down onto the bench across from Steve, flipping to a blank page in his notebook, and Carol sulks away, looking every bit like she'd burn down the world to protect him.

--

Steve wishes he had been smart enough to recognize that conversation for what it was.

The first in a long line of people that, in the pit of themselves, for better or worse, whether they knew it or not: loved Billy Hargrove.

[mmvalentine]

Fifty-Six part 2 | Feysand

Smut-fest continues, if you're enjoying this go say happy birthday to @asteria-of-mars!

Part 1 Part 3

Chapter 2: Chafing a bit?

Rhys was right about one thing- the inner circle were already seated and half way through their breakfast when they got downstairs. At the couple’s arrival, everyone looked up and greeted them warmly. They took their usual seats opposite each other, and Rhys caught Feyre’s ankles between his under the table and winked at her.

Feyre settled in between Cassian and Mor, but when the former leaned his elbow on the table and looked at her with a goofy grin, Rhys’s lips thinned.

Alright there? she asked him.

Fine, was the terse and completely unconvincing reply.

You sure you’re ready to be around other people?

Yeah, he said. I’m fine.

“So,” Cassian said, his eyes sparkling. “Mates, huh?”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Okay, I know all of you guys knew before I did.”

“We’re sorry,” Mor blurted. “We never meant to deceive you.”

Feyre softened. “I know,” she said. “It’s okay.” Mor grinned, and heaped muffins onto Feyre’s plate.

“Welcome to the family,” she said, and it was the best thing Feyre had ever heard.

“Congratulations, both of you,” Azriel chimed in, offering her a rare smile. Feyre beamed at him.

“We’re glad to have you,” Amren said quietly, and from her, it meant the world.

The whole time, Rhys kept his eyes on Feyre, and sipped his coffee.

“We missed you guys,” Feyre said affectionately.

“Oh you did not,” Mor smiled.

But Cassian said, “Especially me, right Feyre?” and Rhys snarled.

Everyone at the table stilled, and looked at the High Lord.

“Rhys,” Feyre said. “It’s okay.” Rhys locked eyes with her for a moment, and finally nodded once. Their friends continued eating, but kept flicking wary glances in his direction. Azriel cleared his throat.

“So, since you’re back Rhys, I was hoping to have a moment to discuss Jurian’s movements. My spies in the human realm have been keeping tabs on the human queens and-”

Azriel’s attempt at distraction was interrupted by another snarl, ripping from Rhys’s throat.

“What now?” Cassian hissed at him, dropping his roll to his plate.

“Would you mind keeping your great big ape-arms to yourself?” Rhys spat back at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Every time you move, you’re in Feyre’s space.”

“Rhys,” Feyre warned. “He’s fine.” It’s just the bond, love, she said in his mind. You’re not jealous of your brothers, remember?

Rhys did not reply. Just stared Cassian down until he shuffled further away from Feyre. Which was not very far, since the table was only so long and he was hitting the outside leg already.

“Uh, so… the human realm…” Azriel tried again.

“What about it?” Rhys asked irritably. Mor shifted in her seat. Feyre wasn’t sure whether to try to soothe or reprimand Rhys, but as Azriel talked he did seem to calm down a little. Even made a few comments on his spymaster’s plans going forward, and Feyre relaxed enough that when Cassian asked her to pass the eggs, she didn’t think too much of it. But then when Cassian took the plate from her, their fingers brushed, and in the next second Rhys was exploding across the table.

Glasses spilled and fruit rolled, and the everyone jumped back as Rhys lunged with clawed fingers and feral eyes. Amren grabbed a hold of Mor and said “Right girlie, that’s our cue to leave.” Mor shot a sympathetic glance at Feyre, then they winnowed. Az took a step forward as if he might get in between his brothers, but then thought better of it and left, too. Cassian, his nose bloodied and with egg splattered over his chest, shoved Rhys off of him with a great heave.

“Alright, alright I’m going. You big bloody baby,” he said, and then stalked out the door.

“Rhys,” Feyre began, and his head whipped round to her, teeth still bared. She held her hands up. “Rhys please calm down,” she said.

“Like hell I will,” Rhys growled, and then he lifted her by the waist and set her on the table, pushing her back among the ruined plates and stray danishes. Feyre thought to protest, but there was still testosterone rolling of Rhys in waves, and although her brain did not exactly approve of what had just happened, her body was fast taking over and by the time his lips crashed against hers, she was wrapping her legs around him and clothes were torn from their bodies in shreds.

Rhys sent apologies round after the breakfast debacle, but also stubbornly refused to admit that the mating bond was getting the better of him.

“It was just too many people at once,” he said to Feyre, after she she had taken him back to their room to wash the jam off his chest. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, while she wiped at him with a washcloth.

“It was too soon,” Feyre argued, looking him over for missed debris.

“Maybe I’ll just have them round one at a time, for now,” Rhys went on. Feyre sighed, and rinsed out the cloth. “Okay your turn,” he said, pulling her down and switching places with her. Feyre handed him the little towel, but Rhys, surveying the mix of breakfast smears and lovebites decorating her torso, decided there were better ways of cleaning her up. He licked her from navel to chin, and there was no further discussion about visitors that day.

But the next day, Feyre answered the door to Azriel while Rhys was in the bath. She was surprised to see him, and Azriel, for his part, actually looked nervous. Feyre wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him nervous.

“High Lady,” the Shadowsinger greeted her, ducking his head.

“Azriel,” she said warmly, and grasped his hand in hers. Azriel’s eyes widened, and peered through the doorway behind her. Feyre laughed.

“Don’t worry, he’s upstairs,” Feyre said. Azriel smiled.

“One can never be too careful with new mating bonds,” he said. “And Rhys… well, Rhys has taken my head off for less. Granted, that was a long time ago, but I’m assuming he’s basically a hormone-addled eighteen-year-old again.”

“That’s probably a safe assumption,” Feyre agreed, and showed him in. "Rhys is expecting you?"

“Yes, he asked me to come. I’ll, ah, wait in the study,” Azriel said, and disappeared round the corner. Feyre headed back up the stairs, where Rhys was walking out of their room towelling his hair off. Still naked and steaming from the bath. Feyre’s eyes followed the contours of his abs.

“See something you like, Feyre darling?” Rhys grinned, disappearing the towel with magic.

“Ah…” Feyre stuttered, forgetting what she was supposed to tell him. Gods, he really was a beautiful male. Rhys’s smile turned feline as he stalked toward her. Feyre stepped back as he approached, still watching the muscles shift under his tattoos. He walked her back out to the landing, and leaned her against the bannister as he bent to circle his arms around her waist.

“Cat got your tongue?” he whispered. He was so incredibly warm around her, and Feyre let her head fall back as he kissed under her ear. She struggled to remember what she came to get Rhys for.

“Oh!” she put her hands on his biceps. “Azriel…”

Rhys’s head snapped up, and his eyes were ablaze.

“Azriel?” he demanded. Before she could explain, Rhys had spun her around so fast her hands caught the bannister as she fell forward. He yanked her hips back and threw the edge of her skirt up. “I don’t want to hear another male’s name on your lips, not now and not ever,” he growled in her ear. And then he smacked her lightly across the ass. “Okay?”

Feyre was going to laugh it off and explain, but then something unfurled in her chest. “Do that again,” she breathed.

“What?” Rhys asked, dangerously low. “This?” He smacked her again, a little harder this time. Feyre’s eyes went wide, and to her surprise, heat gathered between her legs. Rhys saw it all, and a very slow, very wicked grin spread across his face.

“Do you like to be spanked, my love?” he asked. Feyre didn’t know how to answer. Rhys pushed her underwear up to expose her backside, and smoothed his hand over it. And then landed a tight slap on her bare skin.

“Oh,” Feyre gasped, arching her back. Rhys pulled her hips back further, rubbing his now hard cock against her from behind. Feyre gripped the railing more tightly, and completely forgot about the spymaster in the study. “More,” she breathed.

“You want more?” Rhys echoed. He spanked her again, and she moaned. “Is this what you were looking for?” He pushed the rest of her skirt up her back and smacked the other side of her ass. “Is this why you’re being so cruel to me,” spank, “coming to me with another male’s name in your mouth,” spank, “looking for punishment?” He yanked her underwear down so it dropped around her ankles, and landed another three slaps, each harder than the one before. Feyre cried out again and again, and was getting so wet she knew he could smell her.

“Spread your legs, darling,” he instructed her. Feyre stepped out of her underwear and leaned her forearms against the bannister. Rhys spanked her again without warning and her eyes watered.

"Oh!"

“Wider,” he snarled. Feyre obeyed, widening her stance. Rhys rubbed his hands gently over her stinging skin, and then his cock was nudging at her entrance.

“Good girl,” he crooned, and then he spanked her one more time and when she yelled out he threaded his fingers through her hair and plunged inside her.

Rhys fucked her hard, bent over the railing, tugging her head back by the hair while his free hand worked her clit. The now sensitive and reddened skin of her ass bounced against the tops of his thighs, and when her knees started to buckle Rhys let go of her hair to wrap an arm around her waist to hold her up. Every physical sensation seemed heightened unbearably, and Feyre screamed as she came.

“Who’s name, Feyre?” he asked her. “Who’s name belongs in your mouth?”

“Yours,” she gasped between spasms.

“Say it,” Rhys bit out.

“Rhys,” Feyre said. “Rhys, Rhys, oh fuck, Rhys,” and the last one drawn out in a moan. The sound of it had Rhys coming hard as she was, and she didn’t come down until he had emptied himself inside her and his forehead was damp on her back. Feyre tried to move but felt like a new foal. Rhys laughed softly and carried her back to their room in his arms.

He lay her down very gently, and pulled the blanket over her before softly stroking her hair.

“I didn’t know that about you,” he said quietly.

“What?” Feyre asked, luxuriating in his wandering touch. A laughing edge came into his voice.

“That you were such a glutton for punishment.”

Feyre blushed, and Rhys pressed his lips to her forehead. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Half the fun of being wicked is getting to take care of you afterward.” Feyre smiled.

“I like the sound of that,” she said.

“And I quite like teaching you not to talk about other males in front of me.”

Feyre’s eyes flew open. “Oh!” she said, sitting up. “I was supposed to tell you that Azriel is here and waiting for you in the study!”

They stared at each other for a second, and the burst out laughing. Feyre covered her face in her hands, suddenly remembering the wanton sounds she had been making minutes ago and how clearly Azriel must have heard them all. Rhys peppered kisses over her cheek, and jaw, and neck, and then rolled out of bed, pulling trousers on before going downstairs to see if the Shadowsinger had stuck around.

He had not.

****

Liz asked for spanking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars @fandomstalker27 @realbookloverproblems

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 ep5

Current emotional status: FEAR

Cthulu Max has been on the rampage for a whole week!?

Ew, the narrator

Oh man, are they sending the airforce after him?

I really like Cthulu Max's design

Momma Bosco 💗

Oh hey, Norrington and Papierwaite are alive.

Superball are you saying you tried to send the Maimtrons up Max's--

Also he's acting president while Max is... deposed of.

Superball is only giving Sam until 6am :(

Featherly!

"Wandering around the moleman tunnels is no fun without Max."

"You got it all wrong, we're trying to help Max." "We will help him... to a generous serving of ass whooping."

"That is one rabbit who will be multiplied... into 2,000 smoldering pieces."

Carol ran off with Blustet

"I only want her to be happy, is all." Aw, Curt

Superball just admitted to having separation anxiety from Max

Ok Momma can't come but Papierwaite and Norringron can.

I like Norrington :)

GASP

Is it?

It is!

SYBIL!!!!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN

Oh, she is very pregnant

She was a wizard at one point?

She's gonna help!

Superball there's no such thing as acceptable losses

Abe has his body back

"Four score and seven tons of raw power"

HE CAN FLY NOW!?

Sybil, I love you, but why did you mod someone else's car???

Grandpa Stinky I love you

Oh, he just handed us the recipe for once.

Asdfff the spore maxes swarming Grandpa

They stole Grandpa's hotdogs

"We must feed the host! Piglets and sphinkters make us stronger!" "We regret nothing!"

Grandpa hasn't slept in three years

Sam just casually taking the last of Grandpa's corndogs

The spores are trying to get it

Lol Sam slapped them

Sal's alive!

He's hiding from Sam :(

Lol we can control Cthulu Max with Corndogs

Ew, the cornstarch got mixed in with the giant puddle 🤢 Looks gross

Love how Sybil completely ignores the Flaming Max head

Also the look of disappointment on the spore's face made me laugh

Fifth trimester???

The way the one Max spore by Grandpa's truck is bobbing in circles with his mouth open is making me laugh.

Sam showing concern for Sybil because she’s preggers 🥺

Her being pregnant with Abe's child implies that statues have working genital in this universe

She put a weiner scented airfreshener in the desoto

At least Sam and a Max spore seem to like that (of course they do)

"Sybil you're the best!" Hell yeah she is!

Sam's mind went to the color bar codes to prevent being traumatized by Sybil's oversharing

We drowned the desoto

Asdfgh Sam just botched slapped one of the spores for trying to say "that's none of your damn buisness."

Ew, Max's spine is pointing out

Oh hey, Satan and Jurgen

Why is Jurgen wearing his old fashioned clothes instead of his emo clothes?

Lol Sam snuck into frame to shout "Go Mets! New York rules!"

"--besides it's just a good and noble thing to do." "You're not familiar with my previous work, are you?"

"Sam, what happened to you to make you so cynical?" Gee, Jurgen, I wonder what could have possibly happened.

Oh so the water tower counts as vegetable oil because Momma did something to it

Pfft we can replace Satan's microphone with a corndog

Omg they jumped off the building to avoid Max

Oh, they're fine, and the oil is in the giant puddle.

I'm thankful to Featherly for giving us an egg but I'd have preferred not to watch him lay it. Granted it was just in a cartoon way but he still made weird noises

Also TRANS FEATHERLY 2021

"I desperately wanted to see that, sir. Ask him if he'll lay another one."

Oh hey, the Flaming Max heads helped heat up the giant desoto corndog

Since I'm playing this in 2021 the Maimtron's song references are super dated, which defeats Superball's efforts

Oooh! A unique opening sequence???

Oh this music is jazzy af

Sam really doesn't like the Max spores

Sam how do you already know what Max's insides look like???

"Even when he's not a collasal monster Max's food comas can last for weeks."

Ok we wake Max up with the coffee beans, right?

Yup!

The gi Max spore is so sad he doesn't get to come 😢

"But I'm a horrible monster!"

"I suppose Max's brain always looks like a living room?" "Well, Max is host to all kinds of weird parasites, and he likes to he a good host!" WHAT

No really, this brings up so many questions about lagomorphs. Are they some kind of Symbiote or something?

And a previous episode confirmed Max is amphibious

Max has tumors!!!

It shocked Sam!

"Eugh! Get away fake Max!" "Do you find my warmth... alarming, Sam?"

"What do nightmares taste like, anyway?" "Pepsi"

Max wants to be author 💗

He also writes fanfiction about Flint 🤣

I'd unironically read his books.

Tina Belcher voice: Friend fiction

Max has an experimental fusion jazz band???

"He just killed a great white shark--"

Max being completely unable to describe a woman is very gay of him. Good for him.

Max's brain teleported everyone to different parts of the body.

Found Sybil in the gym/legs

The brain is broadcasting Sam's thoughts???

Sam couldn't think of a joke for the medicine balls :(

"Wow Max is looking pretty buff. Would it be too weird if I asked him to turn around?"

Sam! Stop thinking bad things about Sybil's pregnancy she can hear you you putz!

She's upset with him now

"Can you believe this guy?" "I find the entire situation to be very contrived and misogynistic." Same spore Max, same.

Sam stop being so mean omg!

"I changed Sybil, I totally get the whole parenthood thing now." "Really now?" "Tax deductions."

In Max's inventory now

Y'know, I never really thought about it as a storage house

Hit The Road reference :3

Baby roach hatched in

"Pa..papa?" "Now I am little champion, now I am!"

Max has a Maximus shrine

Sam turned into a roomba!

Aw, he named it Sam Jr 🥺

We won Sybil back through his love of Sam Jr

Found the conjoined twins

Huh, Max lost as eye. Does that mean he has a glass one, or do lagomorphs have regenerative abilities?

Pfft we have to play twister to control his arma

The brain is messing with things again

Oh, we need a roach to operate the game because of radiation

Well, let's kidnap Sal

Oh, poor Girl Stinky. She's really going through it

Aw, Sal feels bad

Sal?

Honey, are alright?

He's dying???

He's not immune to irradiation!?

Oh no, he's gone

I'm so sad 😞

Gotta pick up Sam Jr. Before I control Max

They mad Max do a magical girl pose

Ugh the narrator is back

Wait, what?

He's Max's brain??? SUPEREGO???

WHAT

"I was always ignored" Yo if my super ego was as pretentious as you I 'd ignore it too 😤

He wants to kill himself and Max???

I know Max had a self loathing complex but holy shit

The super ego is perfectly fine with destroying half the east coast what a jerk

Just noticed Sam's tie is red. Had no idea about this while drawing PI!Sam lol

We have to help Max get his memories back to use the ASTRO projector

Skunkapes has three Sam clones imprisoned

Sam had canon ocd?

Gasp Gordon???

No, it's Sammun Mak

I love him, little child tyrant

Just make him a mobile brain in a jar and let Sam and Max adopt him

Why is Grandpa here?

He isn't talking like Stinky

Too polite

Sam sees it too

He's a space gorilla

They switched brains?

Found the cloning g chamber

Let's go to Momma's first

CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME

Superball is "wracked with guilt"

"Keep it together Superball. Sam will be able to save the day. He always does."

Ok, let's go to the cloning facility

I'm still thinking about poor Sal yo

FLIIIIIINT!

He's punching space apes!

Girl Stinky really playing up the evil Mistress role

The doggleganger has a bomb on him!!!

Wait so Girl really is a mermaid??? I thought that was just her aestetic

God I love Flint

Haha we tricked Skunkape with scooby doo villain tactics

Got the robot

Her water broke... and it was pennies

Max wants to save Sybil! 😭🥺💕

Super Ego is here

Oh now he wants to save Max

The only thing here are those records

Super Ego waved goodbye

Cthulu Max is cute when he cries

Wait What?

His head is on fire!

The maimtron hit him!

He waved goodbye... and teleported away.

He exploaded!!!!

He promised he'd take Sam with him and he didn't!!!!

AAAAAAH

I thought the dead Max thing was popular angst fanon fic thingy!

We're cloning Max?

It didn't work 😭😭😭😭😭

Superball ran off crying

Oh God the credits are just Sam walking sadly what the hell

He's not even stopping to fight any crime 😢

💔💔💔

God the way he's clinging to himself

What?

The elevator???

MAAAAX

he's back???

Past Max???

He blew his Sam up???

Wait hold on I'm glad they're together again but this doesn't fix anything

There's so much trauma from this season

All the horrible things that happened during 301-304 happened in like 3 days tops, then Sam had to deal with Max being a monster for a week before watching him die!

And the new (?) Max had BLOW HIS SAM UP!!!

And they left the franchise like that for a decade????

What the hell?

I want to be happy but this shit is going to consume my brain for the next week at least what the hell

Aaaaaaah!

Like maybe they really do just brush it off but it feels unlikely

I know Max has a connection with his other selves so it'll be easier for him to adjust but certainly Sam is going to notice the discrepancies since he doesn't get the same deal

Someone told me there were multiple endings hold on

Aw, they walked off into the sunrise together

But still

AAAAAAAAH

[s0livagant]

for the album lyric ask game for when u wake up 🌞💞 i would LOVE to know your favorite lines from save rock and roll and american beauty/american psycho! since we both agree that those are some of the best albums of all time and i love that for us hehe 🥰🤭 (also good morning hope u have a nice day❣️)

Trish!!! hello, my love!! truly two of the greats, I love those albums with my whole heart :') also, this post is looooooog so I'm slapping the 'read more' option on there

SRAR:

The Phoenix - Bring home the boys and scrap scrap metal the tanks Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks "You broke our spirit, " says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Be careful making wishes in the dark Can't be sure when they've hit their mark And besides in the meantime I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart OR My childhood spat back the monster that you see

Alone Together - I don't know where I'm going, But I don't think I'm coming home And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go -I'm here to collect your hearts, It's the only reason that I sing I don't believe a word you say, But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday - Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way, Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

The Mighty Fall - Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme And I'm dizzy on dreams But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it

Miss Missing You - Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger Oh, we're fading fast (but also "baby, you were my picket fence" makes me feel lots of emotions)

Death Valley - I'm either gone in an instant Or here 'til the bitter end

Young Volcanos - C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered Run it up the flagpoles

Rat A Tat - Are you ready for another bad poem? One more off-key anthem, Let your teeth sink in Remember me as I was not as I am

Save Rock And Roll - Well, how'd it get to be only me? Like I'm the last damn kid still kicking that still believes

AB/AP:

Irresistible - You're second hand smoke You're second hand smoke I breath you in, but honey I don't know What you're doing to me

American Beauty/American Psycho - I think I fell in love again Maybe I just took too much cough medicine I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet The best worst thing

Centuries - Mummified my teenage dreams No, it's nothing wrong with me The kids are all wrong The stories are off Heavy metal broke my heart

The Kids Aren't Alright (ONE OF MY FAVE SONGS OF ALL TIME AHHH) - And I still feel that rush in my veins It twists my head just a bit to think All the people in those old photographs I've seen are dead

Uma Thurman - I slept in last night's clothes and tomorrow's dreams But they're not quite what they seem

Jet Pack Blues - She's in a long black coat tonight Waiting for me in the downpour outside She's singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears While the rhythm of the rain keeps time

Novocaine - If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you, you would never sing along Cast them out 'cause this is our culture These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Fourth Of July - I'll be as honest as you let me I miss your early morning company, If you get me You are my favorite "what if" You are my best "I'll never know" OR Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it I just got too lonely, lonely, whoa In between being young and being right, You were my Versailles at night

Favorite Record - Play it again and again and again And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals - Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith Is when it's tested again and again every day

Twin Skeletons (Hotel In NYC) - I just need enough of you to dull the pain Just to get me through the night 'til we're twins again 'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again 'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again OR A birth and a death on the same day And honey I only appeared so I can fade away I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream And I could just die laughing on your spiral of shame

[mybabbbbee]

Pehle i used to make effort k mood sai rkhu khud se baat kru (cuz adil ki adat ni he itna bolne ki he just does his own thing) but ab mjhe tap charti he when i see him busy with his phone all the time playing that stupid cricket game 😠 aur aksar he knows im busy in the kitchen and ibrahim mjhe tang kr rha he but he would keep doing his thing aur pakarte ni usse ajeeb 😠

We dont get any us time in bed..obv cuz ibrahim sleeps hmare darmyan me..its been like this since the bby..but darmyan me theek b hojata tha scene like when adil came back from uk we had some good time..but idhr aake adil has gotten soo busy with work har waqt he talks abt his hosp he doesnt know me kia krti hu how i spend my day..

Even tho im rly thankful for having ibrahim but at times i feel that maybe we should have waited a little longer..kbhi kbhi tou i even get second thoughts abt our marriage

Sucks big time..but atleast u guys talk abt it..hmara ulta hisaab he i used to confront kaafi shuru me..but he used to say k tm boht larri ho har baat negative leti ho tou now ive stopped doing this stopped complaining..also a lil ego keeps me from being the first to bring it up..but he is soo indifferent mtlb it doesnt even matter to him..he is like bus jese chal rha he chalne do

I myself dont feel v body confident sadly after baby..i still havent gotten back in shape so i dont feel like spicing stuff alot which is too bad actually

TMI but our encounters have gotten so short after the baby partly bcs we dont want to wake him up but where is all the foreplay uske bgher kese krlete ho ap log 😠 aur kiu akhir its so selfish

I wanted my husband to be my best friend whom i could share stuff with..and we used to in the beginning but ab its so different..i dont tell him stuff k aese hi bol den ge kuch

[sutzrainbow]

OK, so I think the Mudokons might be legit one of my favourite alien designs ever? There is so much cool stuff going on with that design.

One of my favourite features is how few steps it takes to turn them back into what they evolved from. Put the beaks back on, cover them with feathers, and ta-da! It's a bird! The huge eyes and the head shape make much more sense when you remember they're bald birds. Heck, the fact that they whistle and a lot of them have croaky voices makes sense when you remember they're birds.

Look at these babies and tell me they don't remind you of Mudokons, especially Abe and Keeper.

It seems that they evolved very similarly to how we evolved from apes. We got flatter faces and lost most of our hair, except for on our heads. They lost their beaks and feathers (and claws?), except on their heads. They're fragile, lightweight, but incredibly strong - like birds. I don't know how tall Abe is supposed to be, but if he's around human-sized, I bet he doesn't weigh more than a human toddler, and probably a lot less. I can barely carry a big bag of shopping but I'm sure I could carry him.

Mudokons also vaguely resemble the stereotypical grey/green aliens that have been in pop culture for god knows how long, yet they're still their own thing. Like, yeah, the influence is there, but it's not a copy.

They're humanoid enough to have human expressions and body language, which helps us empathize with them, despite how strange they look.

The Mudokon design is so good that honestly, when the Clakkers showed up in Stranger's Wrath, I was disappointed, because, like... they're chickens. They're just chickens. They wouldn't look out of place on Duck Tales. Not that I'm criticizing Duck Tales, it's just that's a universe with specifically anthro characters, and this is an alien planet. Maybe if they'd leaned more into crossing them with pigs...?

(I'm also not the biggest fan of the Grubbs, as they're just salamanders. Mudokons inspired by water birds would have been much more interesting! The Steef have a great design, though.)

Like, come on, guys, that isn't how you do alien bird people.

THIS is how you do alien bird people!

So yeah. The Mudokons are a freakin' amazing design; clearly influenced by a real animal and yet so incredibly alien. So ugly and yet so cute.

I LOVE THEM.

[ohfugecannada]

Oddworld: Role Switch au

So a couple of weeks(?) ago, @oddest-worlds posted an idea for an au where mudokons were an evil cultist species-supremacist power because of the mudokon moon incident and the glukkons were the enslaved natives. I really wanted to pitch in ideas/headcanons, but was busy with coursework at the time.

Fortunately, I just finished my project and now have more free time so I got to writing some stuff.... a lot of stuff... mainly just some points on the main trio of eusocial races (Mudokons, Glukkons and Sligs) and their role in the AU. So strap in!

(Fyi if you have/had other ideas that contradict the headcanons bellow, feel free to ignore those. Or pitch in some of your own ideas, I’d love to hear them!)

Glukkons

Were once a spiritually oriented race who practiced black magic, occultism and alchemy and were allies of the Mudokons thousands of years ago

When the mudokons declared themselves as the supreme race because of the mudokon moon, they were, understandably, upset and concerned

Fearing their once allies were drifting further away into cultist, species-supremacist behaviour, the glukkons set out to disprove the mudokons declaration of supremacy though their alchemical arts and unify their species once more

It’s said that some glukkon alchemists were successful in finding the answers they seeked out, but what those answers were have long since been lost to time

Now becoming more industrialised and realising the glukkons were a possible threat due to their alchemical powers, the mudokons orchestrated a war against them, nearly wiping the glukkons out in the process before thier surrender

After the war, disillusioned, outnumbered and on the brink of extinction, the glukkons began working for the mudokons, who belittled, oppressed and eventually enslaved them

Now most glukkons are born into subservience to the Mudokons, oblivious to their spiritual past, true history and culture

Still native glukkon tribes out in the wild in hiding from the mudokon empire

I mentioned this before, but I personally imagined the glukkons of this timeline walking on thier legs, which are still somewhat short, and retained thier long arms. Basically, they have the same body type to gibbons and similar long armed apes

Because they walk with their legs and not on their arms, most glukkons stand at almost half their canon height, roughly around 4 or 5 feet tall or so

In industrial captivity, most glukkons tend to have a grey or pale skintone like the glukkons we see in soulstorm

Native Glukkons born outside of captivity are much more diverse in skin colour, with their base colours ranging from brown to purple, red, pink or green etc

Along with This, they have the ability to change their skin colour like octopuses (which makes sense given their closest relatives evolutionarily are the oktigi and other octopus/cephalopod-like creatures)

Notably, they flash different colours across their face and skin when feeling strong emotions like sadness, anger, excitement etc. Similar to the mudokons in Abe’s Exoddus

Glukkons from certain tribes also have bioluminescent markings and patterns on their skin that are visible in the dark. Though, this trait is not as common

Using this colour changing ability, some glukkons are able to copy the colours and even textures of their environment and become one with the scenery. Essentially making themselves invisible. Of corse, this particular aspect of colour changing usually doesn’t come as naturally or involuntary to glukkons as the emotional-based changes. In most cases it takes years of training to master the art of invisibility

Much like the Mudokons in canon, industrial-born Glukks are born into captivity from a mother queen and their eggs are shipped off to be sold into slavery

Baby or young slave glukkons are raised alongside their siblings and cousins over a mudokon master and are usually kept together as something akin to a demented orphanage where youngling glukks are sent to work as soon as they can pick up a rag and bucket

@oddest-worlds, You described the mudokons as being cult like. I personally imagined this would ya know aside from the moon worshiping mudokon supremacy stuff manifest itself most in the way they control thier glukkon slaves

Glukkons in slavery, much like people born into cults, are indoctrinated at a young age to believe their mudokon masters are perfect, all knowing and benevolent beings, that the outside world beyond the factories is a savage, unforgiving wasteland where outsiders will try to lead them astray, and that they are better off and safer dedicating their lives to loyaly serving the mudokons

Glukks who challenge these beliefs, defy their mudokon masters or try and escape to the outside are often severely punished. Either from being removed from their glukkon group, being held in a cell for hours or days where they are interrogated and for their “crimes” or getting severe beatings.

Native free glukkons have a similar tribal society structure as the native mudokons in canon, with each tribe having their own distinctive culture

As said before, they practice the occult, black magic and, most prominently among different glukkon tribes, alchemy

As well as living in tune with nature, Glukkon alchemists often practice the art of transmutation, turning one type material or substance into another, and joining certain substances and/or materials together. Which they do in order to better understand the natural world around them

Nowadays, though, native glukkon civilisation is far from what it once was millennia ago

Thanks to the mudokons and other industrial societies either enslaving or killing off their numbers as well as building over their sacred lands, most native glukkon’s main priority is to hide away from the rest of society and to protect what little of their culture and traditions still remain

From my research I learned the practice of alchemy (or at least the traditional western version of it) could be traced back to Egypt and Thoth, the god of arts and sciences, so I thought it would make sense if at least some individual native glukkon tribes culture and overall aesthetic would be loosely based on the ancient Egyptians as a callback to this, with some small echos of the architecture we see with the glukkon aesthetics of the canon timeline plus the more native looking early concept art of glukkons

Also while researching alchemy I noticed one key aspect of it involved change and transmutation, I.e. turning base metals like lead into noble metals like gold. I thought about how this could also connect to their colour changing. Maybe some native glukkons believe the colour changing to be a glukkons most primal form of transmutation. And view the ability to blend in with the environment as a way of being one with nature, both in the figurative and literal sense. Or something else along those lines

In industrial propaganda, native glukkons are painted as savage barbarians and alchemists as swindlers and charlatans that lead gullable slave glukkons astray, filling their heads with doubt, or with the promise of bestowing riches and immortality for a price

Enslaved glukkon’s clothes tend to consist of whatever textiles they can get their hands on in the factories and what little the strict dress code implemented by their mudokon masters will allow

The main item of clothing worn by most glukk scrubs is a shoddily cobbled together shirt and overalls. Sorta like an even shabbier version of the basic glukkon pud uniform in munchs oddysee

Like many things, native or liberated glukkons tend to have a lot more freedom when it comes to what they wear

The more traditional fashions often worn by glukkon alchemists include long, loose fitting robes, sometimes with these thick ribbed shoulder pads. Pretty much the same as outfit worn by glukkons in the very early concept art back when they were still called “Oldger” or “Ociti”

Mudokons

A once spiritual race that possessed psychic powers and were allies to the Glukkons thousands of years ago

When the shape of a Mudokon pawprint appeared on one of Oddworld’s moons, some mudokons took this as a sign from the gods that they were the chosen race

Blinded by their self imposed delusions of grandeur, the first believers of the mudokon moon sign set out to prove the mudokon race’s superiority over all other races of Oddworld

The moon believers did this by recruiting more mudokon members into their tribe, slowly converting the many tribes into one unified empire, increased consumption of the planets resources and began to isolate themselves from the rest of Oddworld

Building massive towers that reached the skies, they began to spend most of thier time indoors, only looking up at the night sky to see thier sacred moon, the symbolic reminder of thier divinity over Oddworld

Gradually abandoned thier spiritual ways in favour of a more industrialised way of life. Only a few powerful figures within the Mudokon empire still use their psychic abilities such as possession

Growing more paranoid that their Glukkon allies and thier powers of alchemy would prove to be a threat to their rising power, the mudokons orchestrated a war against the glukkon tribes, nearly wiping them out in the process

After the war, the mudokon empire gave the queens of the last remaining glukkon tribes an ultimatum: give away thier children to the empire where they would be “employed”, “sheltered” and “safe”, or let them be born into a “primitive” tribal wasteland at the brink of extinction

The mudokons were able to enslave their once Glukkon allies and quickly rose to become the most powerful, and power hungry, civilisation in all of Oddworld

In terms of architecture and aesthetic, I figured many of those motifs from their spiritual/tribal past would subtly carry over to their current society, I’ll be it more metallic and industrialised. Like larger, dystopian dieselpunk versions of the huts, buildings and structures we see in Monsaic Lines and other native mudokon locations

The buildings they live and work in are also incredibly tall, with some structures in their urban cities reaching above the clouds (basically the opposite of the canon glukkons subterranean cities)

The Mudokons are the main industrial society with a stronghold over the planet

Having essentially brainwashed both thier mudokon citizens and glukkon slaves, the mudokon empire is singularly concerned with proving their dominion over the planet oddworld. with no reguard for the native creatures and cultures that inhabit it

Mudokon society is extremely dedicated to the idea they are the best civilisation in all of Oddworld

As far as they’re concerned, their empire is the supreme civilisation, unparalleled in architecture, politics, philosophy, military and art

And they are dead set on proving thier superiority to the other races of Oddworld, no matter the cost

Any historical records that makes mudokons civilisation and society look bad or less then perfect are either deeply hidden away or destroyed. Through this constant revisionism as erasure, their true history has been long forgotten

Only consistent part of their history is the mudokon moon, which they hold as a sacred symbol and a reminder of their power as the “chosen race”

Now, the sight of the mudokon moon is rare for any industrial borns due to the sky being covered by air pollution from the mudokons buildings and factories

Young mudokons are born as eggs by their respective queen and sent to be raised by a foster mudokon worker and, if they’re rich or well off, their many glukkon slaves

As I said before in the glukkon bit, the way glukkons are taught how to view the world is very similar to real life cult indoctrination and brainwashing. Young mudokons get a similar treatment in terms of their education

At an early age, mudokons are taught by their elders that oddworld belongs to the strong such as them, that the other races that cannot compare to the mudokons, And that all mudokons which as them are perfect and destined for greatness. (Provided they work hard and follow the rules of the empire...)

For a mudokon, lacking this sense of superiority over other races and drive to prove themselves as exceptional is frowned upon in thier society, and such mudokons are often either outcasted or placed in the lower ranking job roles

Like the glukkon workers in canon, adult mudokon workers are often employed as powerful bosses and rulers in the mudokon industries of food production, science, politics and/or religion to name a few

While some individual mudokon masters value mollah and material gain over other things, mudokon society as a whole isn’t quite as obsessed with mollah the same way glukkon society in canon is. They do hold monetary wealth and riches in high regard, of corse, but mostly as one of many status symbols to prove their superiority over others

Due to their belief of being the superior race, some mudokons are known to be extremely arrogant and self centred, to the point they’re often compeating with one another over who is the better mud

In terms of physical appearance, I imagine mudokons having a lot more angular features, like more talon like claws on their hands/feet to evoke a bird of prey

While mudokons are still omnivores, teeth such as their canids are more pronounced due to consuming more meat products such as scrab, Meech, slig and elum meats

I also feel like the slight uncanny-valley elements the mudokons already have should be subtly accentuated in the switch designs for creep factor and everything

unlike muds of canon, muds of the switch au tend to be on the lean, average and/or slightly cubby side rather then underweight and slightly bony in terms of their weight. Mostly down to having relatively better diet and quality of life, at least compared to their canon counterparts.

Mudokons also have way more feathers on their heads! Though, due to the airborne pollution of their industrial lifestyle, feather growth is mainly restricted to their head and face

don’t tend to grow as many feathers on other parts of their bodies like arms, legs etc

On top of this, as mudokons tend to live in colossal tower-like structures, they’ve evolved adaptations to life in higher attitudes such as naturally taking shorter breaths.

One popular form of dress for most moderate or high ranking mudokons consists of a shirt garment with a v-shaped neck (kinda like a Dashiki) a medium length skirt and long ornate robes or feathered cloak. Think more fancy versions of the native clothes worn by the mud shamins in canon.

How intricate, layered, extravagant and/or customised etc these clothes are depends on how high the individual mud wearing them is on the power/wealth hierarchy. Kinda like the wealth hierarchy with canon glukkons. Most lower class muds tend to look closer to the muds we see in canon with a short loincloth-like skirt and simple vest.

While the majority of mudokon society tends to be more industrialised, there are certain elite and powerful groups within the mudokon empire that still practice their spiritual psychic powers

One example of such a group is an elite task force of mudokon agents specifically trained to hone their psychokinetic abilities.

Fed on an exclusive diet of mind altering spooce shrubs, they are granted powerful and dangerous abilities (provided they don’t die from spooce overdose first). Such as the power to possess the minds and bodies of other beings

They are employed as black ops-like operatives by the mudokon empire to manipulate the affairs of other Oddworld nations and races behind the scenes with their powers of possession, as assassins to take out highly dangerous targets from afar with death via red ring explosion or possession induced head explosion, or as bodyguards to protect highly powerful and elite clients, usually mudokon queens. Essentially taking on a similar role to the Glocktigi in canon

Sligs

Race of amphibious/semi-aquatic swamp dwellers

Society not as complex or “advanced” as others like the glukkons or mudokons, technology wise

Somewhat nomadic as they tend to move around from place to place in colonies, though their preferd environments are wetlands, marshes, swamps, lakes and bogs

Were never enslaved by Glukkons, Mudokons or any other societies of mudos for that matter. probably since Sligs are seen as useless and impractical for such tasks anyway. I mean, what kind of peanut-headed chumps would have a legless species who can’t use their hands do their dirty work for them?! lol!

While functional on land, they’re a bit more adapted for life in water, with webbed hands and seal-like tails for swimming as well as gills in their mouths for breathing underwater

Walk with their hands when on land (similar to pantsless sligs in canon but slightly less awkward)

Use the highly dexterous tentacles on their faces to pick up objects and use tools while they walk or swim

Covering themselves up with dirt, moss, mud etc is a big part of their culture. Not because they think they’re ugly like the Sligs in canon, but because it provides good camouflage from larger creatures and predators wanting to eat them

If a Slig is spotted or about to be caught by anything that would want them as food, they can use their arms to leap away from their attacker

In terms of actual clothing, they don’t wear much aside from a covering that wraps around the middle section between their abdomen and their tail mostly so their butts don’t get cold when they go up on land. These coverings are usually either made of soft reeds weaved together, a leaf held together by a stick going through both ends or whatever they can get their tentacles on in thier surrounding environment

Even without fancy covering or camo, Sligs are pretty diverse when it comes to their appearance

Depending on the environment, their skin tone can range from light green to yellow, dark green, blueish-green, teal, brown or black to name a few

Some Sligs also have tiger like stripes similar to the ones on big bro Sligs in canon

And, of corse, there’s albino Sligs. How they’re treated tends to vary form colony to colony

Some outcast or even kill albinos, fearing their bright colour could attract predators

Other colonies are a lot more accepting of albinos, though they tend to be more protective of them due to, again, being more easy targets for predators

Most albino Sligs either take extra care to cover themselves with as camouflage as possible to hide their bright skin, or stay under the water for most of their lives, rarely ever venturing up to the surface world

Queens are also never seen on dry land, as their birthing process is significantly less painful underwater

While none of the queens in this timeline are as cripplingly obese as queens like Skillya in the canon timeline, most healthy queens are still rather large. Sorta like the size/weight of an average male elephant seal, or a salt water crocodile

Also, while some queens can still be jerkasses, they don’t usually eat their own young, as they don’t hold as much resentment towards them due to the less painful birthing process. Plus, their many drones usually bring them smaller fish and swamp dwelling creatures to keep them well fed

Baby sligs (or sliglets, as I like to call them) are born underwater and later take their first peek up to the surface after a couple of weeks

Raised by either one of their drone fathers or their many older siblings

baby Sligs are also born able to swim and walk on instinct, sort of like lizards. They only need to stick with their guardians for protection and to learn valuable life lessons from them like camouflage, avoiding predators, looking both ways before they cross the rivers etc

According to ex-Just Add Water employee Will on the Oddworld forums, Lorne Lanning originally envisioned Sligs having pig like fur, but this was cut from Oddysee due to technical limitations at the time. I headcanon that native Sligs had fur in the canon timeline but lost this trait due to their industrial lifestyle, similar to mudokon’s feathers. Hence in this timeline, some native Slig colonies do have fur.

usually more common, much thicker and more prominent on Sligs from colder climates as it helps them stay warm

The fur is also good for collecting dirt and growing moss and algae on, adding to the Sligs camouflage

I also have this headcanon that the noises sligs make for the BS and S’Mo BS commands in Oddysee and Exoddus gamespeak are remnants of their old language before they were enslaved by glukkons in canon. This is how Sligs communicate to each-other in this timeline: through a series of frog-like ribbit and croak vocalisations.

They do have the ability to speak language in the same way Mudokons and Glukkons do, I’ll be it in a limited capacity since they’re somewhat cut off from these language speaking societies and not used to talking in words. Think of it how, in canon, Gabbits like Munch can speak language with characters like Abe but can also call to other Gabbits through a dolphin-like “song”

Though they were never slaves, that doesn’t mean industrial societies like the Mudokon empire haven’t caused trouble for them

On top of occasionally hunting them to make high protein meat products and for sport, the Mudokon empire has also put their glukkon workers to use digging up Sligs swamplands for iron ore, as water that carried flakes of iron accumulated and settled in those swamps. As well as gathering peat from mires for fuel

These practices have been encroaching on the Sligs natural habitats. driving them out and disrupting their usual migration patterns

In a lot of cases, Mudokons purposefully try to drive off or exterminate Slig colonies. Viewing them as useless, dirty pests getting in the way of the precious resources that, much like everything else on Oddworld, the mudokons feel a sense of entitlement to

Alright, that all the points I got down for the big three. I do have some ideas for the other races like vykkers, steef, oktigi, meeches etc but for now, I’ll just leave it here. Again, please let me know what you think of all this and feel free to make contributions.

@southern-forests

[demonstars]

this is literally so serious to me Please all criticisms to my inbox ok FALL OUT BOY ALBUMS RANKING

infinity on high cause she's THAT GIRL. i didnt even know ENGLISH when i listened to this album for the first time and still i got hooked and every bit of lore i learn makes me want to kill myslef in the best way. this is the album my sister calls the gay one because of how many times i've talked about the symbolism and the gay sex. Wishing to be the friction in your jeans, man..

folie I actually only knew i dont care until 2017 and then my life fuckign changed LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN. wams and tiffany blews are part of my top five fob songs ever it that serious. BUT ALSO GOLDEN?? HEADFIRST?? WHAT A CATCH. COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS. THREE TIMES FOR THE HOLY GHOST! it would be the first if infinity hadn't actually properly changed my brain chemistry

from under the cork tree: something about how the themes of this album talk to infinity makes me seriously want to wed it, it's so delicious?? like do you guys ever read something that's so well done that you just want to kiss it. they call it competency kink i just call it being in love with their work. anyway. beautiful album. nobody pits baby in the corner

mania Like i spent these few minutes talking about it. UNDERRATED!!!!! UNDERRATED!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY GETS HOW FUN AND AWESOME SHE IS BUT I DO!!! HOLD ME TIGHT anthem for high school me. also one of the first ones i could understand without fully googling the lyrics

so much for stardust. I think she single-handedly made me go thru 2023 Sorry for relying on albums to stay up and about. The way they refer to their own previous musical identity has me on a chokehold. also it's so clearly a pandemic album and i find that really interesting, the commitment to refer to their context. WHEN I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE THIS ISNT QUITE WHAT I MEANT I GOT THE QUARANTINE BLUES WHAT'S LEFT? ??? <- written on my wall

take this to your grave is so awesome to me sorry i literally have to put it here its not top 5 but IT IS LOVELY TO MEEEEE i like it so much but its clearly a very experimental one idk

save rock and roll I like the songs individually Idk why it annoys me so much the order they are placed that i cannot in my good conscience put it up. also i havent watched the mv movie entire SORRY I HAVE TROUBLE FOCUSING ON MOVIES ON MY OWN AND I HAVDNT CONVINCED MY SISTER TO WATCH IT WITH ME

ab/ap: i have Heard there's controversy with this album I just have a lot of fun with a lot of songs but there's a lot of skips so last my bad. uma thurman irresistible fourth of july and immortals songs of all time tho. ARGUE WITH THE WALL

evening out with your girlfriend is their first one for a reason

[threeletterslife]

02 | Illegirl

→ previous | next

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity (89% of it is y/n and the other 11% is jimin), very very brief mentions of sexual harassment, making googly eyes over jimin’s rock-hard abs

→ wordcount: 10.4k

You should've known.

You should've known the trip would be shit.

"Jin, I can't believe you brought my bikini!" you yell accusingly, picking up the yellow swimsuit in disdain. "I have two other one-pieces, but no, you just had to pick this one!"

Your cousin doesn't even look at you. "You've got a nice body, own it," he answers, fumbling around to find his own swim trunks.

"Oh my god. I can 'own it' some other time, you know, when Jimin won't be around!"

"Who cares? It's not like you're stripping naked in front of him. It's just a swimsuit, literally designed for wearers to own it," your cousin says, shrugging. "Besides, he's just your teacher."

You scrunch your nose. "And that makes me feel better how?"

"Well, he's just someone who happens to be more knowledgeable than you to teach you a certain subject. No matter," Jin shrugs. "It's not like you two are doing inappropriate things on the side. Oh boy, then that'd be illegal for sure."

You look down at your toes. Wow, I don't feel guilty at all.

Not wanting your cousin to go further, you sigh, biting your tongue, and you take the pretty yellow bikini to the bathroom. How worse can it get?

It was worse.

Way, way, worse. You might even feel faint.

"Dang, Jimin, my boy," Jin catcalls. "Have you been working out?"

Jimin shrugs. "A little."

While you had felt just plain wrong wearing a bikini in front of your teacher, it seemed so that your teacher gave zero fucks about being completely shirtless in front of his student.

You try to look away, but Jimin's well-toned abs are just a tad bit too perfect to not look at. Making sure your cousin and teacher aren't looking, you take a couple of peeks.

"Y/N!" Jin exclaims, causing you to jump. "Why are you still wearing that bathrobe? I told you to own it."

You shake your head. "I'll take it off once we're near the water."

Your cousin rolls his eyes and walks away, figuring your stubborn personality won't bend to his simple suggestion. You take this opportunity to sneak another look at your teacher's abs, this time, eyes trailing up to look at his face when his wide, chocolate eyes meet yours. You almost let out a loud squeak, blushing while quickly averting your eyes. Had he been looking at you?

Well, shit. This is more awkward than a family dinner. But not that you've ever had one, anyways.

In silence, the three of you walk to the very edge of the wooden walkway which stopped just above five-foot deep ocean water.

"What a beautiful view," Jin says proudly, placing two hands on his hips. "I think I see the fish in there too!" He thinks for a moment. Then without warning, your cousin takes a running leap into the clear waters, bellowing the word: "Cannonball!" at the top of his lungs.

He splashes into the ocean, drenching you and Jimin from head to toe. In fact, you look like you've just gotten out of a bath. "Jin!" you whine, trying to wring the water out of your hair.

"Come in, baby cousin!" he replies, giggling at your annoyed reaction as he starts to backstroke away from the walkway.

You roll your eyes dramatically but obey, cautiously dipping your foot into the seawater. But you get a strange feeling someone is watching you. Whipping your head around, sure enough, you see Jimin staring curiously at you. You raise your eyebrows.

"What?" you say accusingly.

"What?" he says, raising up two hands in defense.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Okay, why were you staring?" you say, cutting off the stupid repartee.

"W-what?" Jimin stutters. "When was I staring?"

You sigh. "You know what? Whatever," you mutter under your breath. Wanting to get away from your teacher as quickly as possible, you peel your drenched bathrobe off your body, flinging it away. Then, as fast-as-lightning, you dive into the ocean.

The cool water envelops your warm skin, welcoming you into the vast sea. You smile to yourself as you feel the minuscule underwater bubbles wrapping around you. For just a few seconds you forget all of your problems as you dolphin-kick further into the tranquil waters. You're almost sad when you're forced to resurface from the lack of oxygen.

Rubbing the saltwater away from your eyes, you open them to see Jimin was already swimming towards Jin, who was yelling and waving his arms around. He reminded you of a panicked mime to be quite honest.

You smile to yourself at the thought.

"I'm coming!" you shout back, diving back under the water again to swim towards your cousin and teacher.

Jin and Jimin are standing around in the ocean when you reach them. And for some reason, with your slightly tired legs, you believed you could as well. Attempting to find the sandy bottom with your feet, you completely forget how short you were compared to the two men.

It happens all too fast when you can't breathe anymore, your face submerged underwater as you fall deeper into the saltwater. In the rather pathetic process, you panic, flailing your arms around in a pitiful attempt to get back up to the surface. But you should've kept your calm—pain shoots up your nostrils when you accidentally take a deep breath through your nose. You hate to admit it, but you might just be drowning.

You don't think the ocean is so beautiful now.

"Y/N!" you hear a muffled scream from above. It's either Jin or Jimin—maybe both, you don't know.

Warm hands wrap around your waist, tugging you back to the surface. Immediately you get into a coughing fit, keeping your eyes squeezed shut as you instinctively wrap your legs around your savior's waist. You choke out more water that had gotten into your system as the person you think is Jin pats your back in an attempt to help, but you swat his hand away.

"No, I'm fine, you don't have to help me! I could've totally handled th—"

You'd opened your eyes. It hadn't been Jin who had been your savior, contrary to your belief. It had been Jimin. You're in his arms, bare stomachs touching, legs wrapped around his waist.

No. NO. NOO.

You gasp, but cough instead. Your face burns, and you don't know if it's from the lack of oxygen or the embarrassment that you're half-naked in your teacher's arms.

God, why the fuck does this shit just happen to me?

You're a choking mess as Jimin attempts to pat your back again. You want to tell him not to touch you, but you're afraid if he doesn't help at the moment, you'll die from choking on water.

It takes a while but you stop coughing, throat very sore. Jimin finally lets you go when you slightly push away from him, your head hanging low in shame. How humiliating.

Jin immediately pulls you into his arms, sweeping away the wet baby hair that was clinging to your forehead. He gives your cheek a little pat. "Stupid," he says, lightly flicking your forehead. "You could've been in some real trouble. Did you really think you were as tall as us?"

"Uh, I hoped?" you answer, eliciting a chuckle from Jimin.

"Why is your baby cousin so much like you?" he says.

"That's 'cause I practically raised her," Jin says proudly, hugging you tightly.

"For the worse," you tease, hitting his chest.

Jin laughs. "Just don't try drowning again, okay? I was actually worried."

"I'm an ace swimmer, I don't drown," you reply, sticking your tongue out at your cousin. "Not usually anyway..." You puff out your cheeks in thought, racking your brain to change the humiliating topic as smoothly as you can. "Well, now, who's up for a game of Marco Polo?"

"Man, that was some fucking dinner," you mumble, laying like a starfish on the comfy bed as you rub your protruding tummy through your white t-shirt. "I look pregnant. And the father is food."

You stifle a small yawn as you turn your head to look out the window. The view really is beautiful. Jin had outdone himself renting this damn nice beach house. The dark, sparkling ocean reflects the shining stars in the sky, and the black outlines of swaying palm trees make you almost taste the salty beach night breeze.

Honestly, you could've drifted off to sleep right then and there. But of course, someone knocks on your door, disturbing you and your food baby.

"Jin?" you call, sitting up on your bed in an unflattering angle (no doubt revealing a double chin).

"Actually, it's Ji—Mr. Park," the familiar voice answers. You should've known that low, silky voice was nothing like your cousin's silvery tone.

Well, fuck.

"Uh, well, sorry. Y/N's occupied at the moment," you lie, lying back down on the bed and praying your teacher would just yeet out.

You can hear Jimin sigh outside your bedroom door. He impatiently knocks on your door again. "Yeah, but Jin's drunk. I came to ask for help."

"Oh my god." You sigh as well, groaning as you get up from your bed. "I told him not to get drunk anymore! I swear he's doing it on purpose now, just to spite me!" You throw open the door, seething with frustration. Big mistake.

"HOLY FUCK!" you shriek, throwing your hands over your poor (or maybe blessed) eyes. "GO PUT ON A DAMN SHIRT!"

There was your teacher, completely shirtless. He's dripping wet (from what you innocently assume is water), and he's definitely not flexing but damn those abs. Jimin runs his hand through his damp, black hair in irritation. "Yeah, I will later, alright? Just... C'mon, Y/N, I really do need your help."

It feels so wrong to stand in front of your shirtless teacher, especially after what had gone down between the two of you. You try your best to keep it professional, making sure your eyes get minimal contact with Jimin's well-defined abs.

"Your cousin's about to pass out in the hot tub, and I think we'd both appreciate it if we got him to bed before he drowns," your teacher continues, running another hand through his black hair as if by habit.

"God, that damn idiot." You shake your head in disapproval as your awkwardly maneuver your way around your unprofessionally dressed teacher. Starting to walk ahead towards the hot tub outside the beach house, you turn around only to ask Jimin a question. "So, did he throw up yet?"

"Not yet, no," Jimin answers, catching up to you. "Take that as a good sign. We should get to him before he decides to turn his insides out."

But you're barely listening to what your teacher's saying. You're just too distracted by the fact that this shirtless man is walking so close to you. So close that his wet skin glides by your dry (lotion lacking) arm every step you take. Your face is probably steaming redder than the spicy chili pepper you'd eaten at dinner.

When you finally get to the nice hot tub, you see your older cousin splashing about in the water. Not only is he acting like he's six, but he's also attempting to doggy paddle around the small tub. You're starting to worry if alcohol can severely kill off brain cells.

"Jin..." you say, lowering your voice in a dangerous whisper. You approach your cousin who was still god forbid playing in the hot tub. "What did I say about drinking?"

At the sound of your voice, your cousin perks up, stopping his atrocious doggy paddling to give you a goofy grin. "Oh, hey, Y/N!" He cranes his neck and squints, looking behind you. "Oh, you brought Jimin! Hey, man, come in!"

You shake your head, mouth set in a stern frown. "What did I say about drinking, Jin?"

Your cousin actually has the nerve to snort at you. "I don't remember."

"That's it!" you roar, pointing accusingly at Jin. "Get out. No one's allowed to go in that hot tub for the rest of the day."

"No!" Jin giggles. He splashes back in the pool, floating on his back. "Can we all acknowledge how nice my boy Jimin's abs are?" Your cousin waves his arms around dramatically, then blows a kiss to the night sky.

"You're drunk," you accuse.

"I am aware~" Jin sings, blowing another damn kiss to the moon.

"Yeah, no. We're getting you out of the tub," you sigh, desperately catching your teacher's eye. "Mr. Park, help!"

You lumber forward, gripping onto Jin's upper half of his body as he flails his arms wildly, nearly missing poking your eyeball out. "Stop it!" you yell, resisting the urge to wack his across the head. "I'm trying to help you, alright? Look, you're getting me wet!"

Jimin laughs at your helplessness, which earns him a death glare from you. Without another sound, he grabs onto Jin's legs, helping you haul him out of the tub. But the whole process is messy.

Your cousin won't stop flailing around his arms, singing the alphabet backward in a high-pitched, off-tune voice that makes you want to rip out all of your hair strand by strand. You and Jimin try to ignore the chaotic evil that is your cousin, persistently trying to carry him off to his hotel room. "I'm literally going to kill you," you remind Jin every five seconds.

Finally, when you get to your cousin's room, you practically throw him on his bed, shaking the water off of your arms. "Thanks a lot, idiot," you seethe. "My whole shirt is wet!" You try to squeeze the dampness out of the cotton material of your shirt to no avail.

Instead of feeling sorry, Jin just grins mischievously. "What shirt?"

You roll your eyes. "Get some glasses, you dud. Your friend here isn't wearing a shirt, but I am."

Jin giggles. "Nope!"

"Argh!" you scream in exasperation, turning to Jimin as steam practically escapes from your red ears. "Let's go."

But your teacher stays in place, his face slightly red as he turns his back to you. "Uh... he's right," Jimin mutters. "Um... the water... you're um, wearing white..."

Oh fuck.

You don't even want to look down to see what sort of stuff you were revealing. Fast as lightning, you cross your arms over your chest, hoping you didn't flash anything too bad. Then without another word, you attempt to dash out of the room, but someone grabs your wrist, stopping you.

Oh what do you know, it's Jimin.

"Wait, Y/N! We still need to talk, remember?" Jimin protests, averting his eyes from your body as his tight grip slightly loosens on your wrist.

"Goddammit, can it wait until we're both wearing an adequate shirt?!" you shriek, wretching out of your teacher's grasps. "This has to be the worst timing ever!"

"Right, shit. Sorry, you're right," Jimin quickly says, stepping back with a bright red face. "Just... meet me outside. I'll take care of Jin."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you say in haste. "You saw nothing!" Then, you make a mad dash to your room, your face burning from embarrassment and sheer confusion.

The moment you reach your safe place, you collapse on your bed, allowing yourself to take a deep breath. You just can't help but worry. What did your teacher want to talk about? Why here? Why now? He surely didn't remember that day... right?

You almost consider blowing the meeting off but think better of it. It would just create more drama and more things to talk about. So you drag yourself out of bed, forcing your arms to grab a clean t-shirt to change.

It takes a lot of contemplation to leave the privacy and safety of your room. But you finally do, trudging outside to see Jimin was already waiting.

He had slipped on a nice-fitting black shirt over his swim trunks and was running his fingers through his damp hair. What really ticked you off was the fact that he was sitting on the edge of the hot tub, dipping his feet into the warm water.

If you can remember clearly, you'd announced that no one was allowed to be in the hot tub for the rest of the day. But whatever.

You look back at the screen door, actually wondering if you should just leave. You've done nothing wrong... right? But why is your heart beating furiously in your chest? And why the fuck are your armpits accumulating sweat? God, you want to avoid this conversation at all costs. Yet you've avoided it for too long; it had to come sooner or later.

Fuck it.

You take a deep breath, making your way (semi-confidently) over to the hot tub and sitting across from your teacher as you dip your feet in the water as well. But you refuse to look at him.

"Y/N..." Jimin softly says. You grit your teeth, averting your gaze off to the beautiful night sky. Then, it's silent. After a few minutes, you're starting to wonder if the talk will never start, and you'll be able to be in peace.

But no, the silence just has to be interrupted by that darn Jimin. He's chuckling, giving you a non-threatening, almost friendly look.

"Y/N, you went so far to avoid this conversation, you know," your teacher laughs.

No kidding.

"I happen to be very close friends with Mr. Jung, your literature teacher," Jimin says, making your blood run cold. "He assured me you two never had a talk."

Fuck.

"I also happen to be close friends with Namjoon, or Mr. Kim, your philosophy teacher," Jimin continues. "Turns out your class never does projects."

Shit.

"And, Jin booked this trip knowing it wasn't your... er, time of month."

Your ears turn bright red as you look down at your feet in the hot tub. How the fuck are you supposed to react to being completely exposed?

"Y-You know what?" you blurt out. "Let's look at the view! Yeah, the view? Isn't it real nice?" you exclaim overly excitedly, pointing out to the dark waters.

Jimin seems slightly taken aback by your outburst, but nods in agreement. "Yes, well I agree... it's a nice view." He scratches his head awkwardly. "But um, Y/N... This is a bit serious. Can we focus?"

Dammit.

"Y-Yeah... sorry."

"Thank you." Jimin nods curtly. "So um, about last Friday..."

Your eyes bulge out of their sockets as all of your muscles tense up. Nononono, this cannot be happening!

"I just want to tell you that, uh... I'm sorry." Jimin runs his fingers through his hair, awkwardly leaning back on the edge of the hot tub.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" you ask, frown lines appearing out of confusion.

"For sexually harassing you."

What. WHAT? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT???? HE REMEMBERED??

"W-What?"

Jimin squirms in his seat. "Please don't make me say it again," he begs. "I'm so sorry I sexually harassed you. I'm so sorry I made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I was drunk, I wasn't thinking straight, I was—"

"Wait, no, that definitely wasn't sexual harassment," you interrupt, shaking your head in disagreement. "Especially not if I kissed back."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you want to throw yourself into the goddamn ocean. If the situation wasn't bad before, it was bad now.

"I-I mean, you were drunk, Mr. Park," you blubber, trying to save yourself. "It's fine. I wasn't even drunk."

You want to facepalm for the sake of your idiocy.

Jimin's face turns bright red as he shakes his head. "I... lured you," he says as if were admitting a felony. "It wasn't your fault."

"H-How do you know?" you squeak. "I mean, how much do you remember?" Your hands grip the edge of the hot tub, slipping once in a while due to the accumulation of sweat.

"Everything..." Jimin admits. "I remember everything I did and said, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

You can't find your words. But maybe that's a good thing, judging how much of a goddamn blabbermouth you are. Yet you've really got to give it to your teacher. It takes massive guts to apologize for your wrongdoings—especially drunk wrongdoings.

"Can we just," Jimin sighs, "can we just forget it happened?"

You nod your head vigorously without a second thought. But you pause abruptly. "But that's the problem," you say. "How can I forget that my own teacher kissed me and called me pet names?" Sighing, you rub your forehead. Until you realized you fucked up for the billionth time today. "Shit. Sorry. That was not appropriate."

"W-Well, you're not wrong," Jimin mutters, avoiding your eye contact again. "I just get... really tipsy when I'm drunk."

"Yeah, no kidding," you mumble under your breath. "But I really don't think I can promise to forget. I mean, it's hard not to remember something like that... I'm really sorry. I don't think I can do it."

Jimin nods, finally looking up at you to give you a small smile. "Well, same here, Y/N. It's not something that happens every day, at least, I hope not. But whatever you remember from that night, don't take it seriously."

"Of course I won't!" You scoff. "Why would I take it seriously? You were drunk!"

"Well, I dunno, because you uh, kissed back?" Jimin laughs. Then, he stiffens, shaking his head. "Sorry. That was not appropriate."

"Yeah well, you and me both, Mr. Park."

Your teacher laughs again, a sound you're starting to grow quite fond of. "Don't call me Mr. Park, Y/N."

What now.

Jimin stutters, flushing red. "Wait, I mean, don't call me Mr. Park here, like this. Fuck! I mean, just don't call me Mr. Park outside of school. It makes me feel old, you know?"

You chuckle at your teacher's awkwardness that nearly matched your own. "Yeah, that's a good idea," you agree. "I feel awkward every time I say it."

Because it sounds fucking kinky.

Jimin laughs again, releasing a sweet and low noise that makes you smile. "Well, I guess the awaited talk is finally over." He stands up, slipping out of the hot tub. "I hope you accept my apology. Good night, Y/N."

"Accepted. Good night... Jimin."

Usually, you like to wake up on your own time when the birds are chirping and morning sunlight pouring in through your windows. Nothing satisfies you more than rousing from your slumber with your own natural alarm clock. Nothing dissatisfies you more than being awakened from another being.

"Up!" a chirpy voice screams too close to your ear. "Wake up, Y/N!"

Groaning, you turn over to face the loud voice that was bothering you from your peace. Your eyes flutter open to catch a blurry sight of a person, a man. You frown. A few blinks later, the figure is much clearer and portrays an obvious rendition of your goddamn teacher.

BiTch, wHat tHe fUck.

The sight jerks you awake immediately. Gasping unholily, you scramble up, legs tangling up in the sheets in your panic as you try to straighten up your sleep attire and tame your bed hair. "JIMIN?"

A dream? Is this a dream??

Your mind scrambles alike, trying to come up with an explanation as to why your teacher was in your room at this early hour. Oh god, is he drunk again??

"Relax, relax!" Jimin grins, placing a sassy hand on his hip as he stands up straight like the equanimous man that he is. "I know, I know, probably not the most welcoming thing to see when you wake up..." He shrugs. "But Jin threatened to starve me if I didn't wake you up."

No kidding. Imagine partaking in a peaceful slumber only to be awakened by your fucking teacher of all things. Sounds like some kid's nightmare. But then again, Jimin had had no choice. Jin had threatened to starve him, which was never a good sign.

Still, your mind slips back to last night's awkward endeavors. Oh god. You shudder as the memories flood back into your brain. But today's a new day, a fresh, new start to you and Jimin with no past held grudges. Maybe it'll go swell.

"Er... So how's Jin's hangover?" You untangle your legs from the sheets, almost stumbling to get out of bed. Adjusting the ancient t-shirt you've worn for sleepwear for several years too long, you look expectantly at your teacher, who, unlike you, seems outwardly put-together (judging by his clothes).

Jimin chuckles. "Well, he's making himself the hangover breakfast... You know, because he and I both know that I can't cook for shit."

You snort, "Yeah you and me both."

It's actually much easier to slip into a conversation with Jimin after that. Both of you take your time walking to the kitchen for breakfast as the chat becomes more and more relaxing and familiar. Who knew passionate talking about French mathematician René Descartes would open a comfortable morning talk?

All too soon, you're in the kitchen. Jin's humming to himself as he's tending to three different pots and pans, but he perks up and turns around when he hears your footsteps.

He eyes you and Jimin up and down, particularly squinting at the rather sliver gap between the two of you before a grin spreads across his face. "Well," he announces, hands on his hips, "you two seem to be less awkward."

You almost snort out loud, but opt for a quiet, "Yeah, I wonder why."

Next to you, Jimin hears and chuckles. "We just had a little talk, and that seemed to solve everything."

"No biggie," you add, sarcasm sprinkled lightly across your words.

But your cousin doesn't notice it as he wildly claps his hands together like an overenthusiastic seal. "Great! Now that you two are less awkward, we can actually start our vacation!"

You and Jimin exchange nervous looks.

"Oh my god, oh my GOD, OH MY GOD!" you scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs as you struggle to take a deep breath. "Jimin, you're going too fast! Too fast!"

"That's what she said," your cousin snorts, but immediately ducks his head as if he was ashamed of his sudden inappropriate outburst.

"God, Jin. Shut up!" you yell, gripping onto your cousin as if your life depended on it—which it kind of did.

Speedboats have never been your thing. Well, actually, adrenaline rush has never been your thing. Anything going over 50 mph made you feel sick in the stomach and rightfully knocked the wind out of you. In fact, you're highly convinced that you can die sitting in any vehicle moving at rapid speeds.

"Wow, Y/N, didn't know you were such a scaredy-cat," Jimin calls from the front. He turns around slightly to make this comment, chuckling good-heartedly at your rather pathetic state where you're clinging onto your cousin and all. The salty ocean wind righteously muses his shiny, black hair, bringing justice to anyone gazing at him. His bright and beautiful grin paired with his tan, muscular arms could honestly bring world peace if you admit to being dramatic. In fact, his whole body seemed to be radiating, sparkling in the blinding sunlight as small, pearlescent water droplets reflected even more light for you to gratefully perceive.  

But wait a minute. This is your teacher you're talking about here. Stop it! You tell yourself. Stop making your teacher sound hotter than he already is!

"So what if I'm a scaredy-cat?!" you bellow, squeezing your eyes shut and tightening your grip on Jin as your hair flies around your head maddeningly.

"So you can't enjoy this lovely boat ride!" Jin screams back, although he's literally right next to you. In the next second, you assume your billowing hair has smacked his face one too many times because your cousin pulls your wind-blown, wavy hair back in a low ponytail. "I swear, these locks of yours have been releasing all havoc on me since the moment we got on! Do you have a hair tie?!"

You don't answer, instead wordlessly jutting out your wrist to offer your cousin one of the four hair ties that were fitted on there. Jin takes his goddamn time choosing a hair tie (even though they're all the identical plain black design) and he takes even more time tugging it off your wrist. Then it takes a whole eon for him to tie your chaotic hair for you, making sure to soothe out all the tangles to give you the best hair-tying experience ever.

As time-consuming the process is, it's comfortable and way less turbulent than what could've been if Jin hadn't helped. It's times like this that makes you wonder where you would be in life without your cousin. You don't even want to answer that, much less list the possibilities.

Your upset stomach seems to wreck you out of your own thoughts. One more second on this boat and I'm going to heave the remains of breakfast.

But lo-and-behold to your utmost gratitude, the speedboat comes into a slow stop. The wind no longer threatens to steal your breath away and the salty fish-feces water no longer splatters dangerously close to your lips. You let out a grateful sigh.

"Is it over?" you ask, finally managing to open your eyes.

"You're acting as if the boat ride was torture," Jin snorts, playfully shoving you.

"It was!!" you insist. "But for real, is it over?"

Jimin chuckles, steering the boat to a shady spot underneath towering trees with lush leaves. "Well, for now, it is."

"What?!"

"See, Y/N," Jin laughs, patting your shoulder, "we still have to go hiking later. We'll relax here for a couple of hours, but ultimately we'll have to take a boat ride back."

"Oh god," you groan, dramatically arching your back and placing a distressed hand on your forehead. With that, you slide down to the bottom of the boat, making yourself comfortable amidst shit-smelling life jackets. "Please wake me up once this trip is over, thank you."

You kind of said that as a joke, but the next thing you know, you've actually fallen asleep.

There's no turning back now. You really do hope your cousin will wake you once you're home.  

Okay, so Jin didn't wake you up when the trip was over; you woke up yourself, and you were still clearly in the middle of the vacation.

But soon it dawns on you that there are bigger problems than you not being at home. For starters, you're not walking, but you're somehow moving. It takes another hot second to realize you're on someone's back.

It takes another hot minute to realize your arms are loosely hanging around another's neck, your bare legs wrapped around their waist. This is probably the fastest you've ever shaken off your sleepiness. Only because your mind likes to anticipate the worst, as always.

"JIMIN?!" you shriek, kicking to get off of his back. "Let me go!"

He listens, letting you slide off his back and land (a bit wobbly) on the ground. But when he turns around, it's quite apparent he hadn't been Jimin but quite actually your own cousin.

"Y/N!" Jin sighs. "First off, you've been living with me for so long, but you still can't tell who I am?" he teases, quirking his eyebrow at you. "Second, you can't just try to jump off my back like that! This hike is near a cliff; you could've fallen to your death if you jumped a tad bit later!"

"Besides," a voice chuckles from behind. You whirl around to see Jimin, adjusting his expensive-looking sunglasses as he grins. "What made you think I'd carry you?"

"W-Well..." You stop yourself. Well, it might just be because we've made out before, but haha, no matter right?

"Yeah, anyways," Jin huffs, patting a huge bag, "I've got sunblock, aloe cream, water bottles,..."

Once Jin starts listing the million little things he brought to aide the three of you on the hike, you zone out. The heat of the sun penetrates through the little shade of the leave-less trees, and you can already feel sweat accumulating on your forehead. A bit irritated, you wipe the sweat off on the back of your hand, then wipe the back of your hand on your t-shirt. It's already getting so hot and stuffy. You can't imagine how bad it would be when you're actually out in the open and walking.

It does not sound like music to your ears.

By the time you break from your thoughts, your cousin is still listing the shit he brought. You can't believe your ears. No, you're not going to stand here waiting to drown in a puddle of your own sweat. You're going to get this dumb hike over with—even if you have to get it done alone.

"Yeah, yeah," you quickly interrupt your cousin babbling on about how cool his new hiking shoes are. Jin and Jimin turn to you, looking at you expectantly to say something. So you do. "Yeah, um so... race you!" you yell, whirling around and sprinting towards the narrow ledge of the hiking trail.

"Wait, Y/N!" you hear your cousin and his friend shout from behind.

You pay no mind, even running faster. If they wanted to tell you to stop, they'd have to catch you first. You'd just be waiting on the other side of the trail, sipping on ice-cold lemonade from the refreshments stand.

Yeah, you're a math genius. You know very well, too well, that Y/N plus heat equals utter disaster. It's a surefire equation that works every time. And that's what you were wary of before you decided to sprint through the hike—to avoid disaster.

But of course, before you had started sprinting to the end of the hike, you'd forgotten you hadn't gotten that much exercise the past... seventeen years of your life. It's no wonder that your endurance is a big, fat zero. You've been running, lightning-speed, for only seven minutes but you're heaving for breath.

You realize at that moment, with a heavy heart, that you cannot go on like this. If Jin found out you fainted from dehydration and fell off the cliff, he'd pull up your body to murder you all over again. For being reckless and stupid, that is. You have no choice but to stop running.

Your legs feel like jelly as you wobble your way over to some rocks before collapsing on them. The jagged surface digs behind your back, but it's the least of your worries. You squint, shielding your eyes from the scorching sunlight. Damn. Looks like none of your trip companions had taken the race seriously. They hadn't even tried to catch up to y—

"Y/N!"

Oh, nevermind.

"Y/N!" the voice shrieks again. It takes you two seconds to realize that's not Jin's voice. Which leaves Jimin as the culprit.

Quickly, you try to look less, for the lack of better word choice, dead. You try to wipe the sweat running down your face and fix your hair before sitting upon the rock. Just in time, Jimin comes into view, holding an ice-cold water bottle in his hand.

"What on earth, Y/N! You're a fast runner!" he wheezes, nearly toppling over as he collapses on the rock next to you. He breathes as heavily as you are, running a hand through his wet hair. "Do you need water?"

You nod gladly and wordlessly, mouth completely parched. Jimin's hand juts out as he hands you the water bottle, and you take it gratefully. Uncapping the bottle, you take a nice, long birdy, relishing at the moment as the cool water hits the back of your throat. When you finish, you wipe the excess water trickling down the corners of your lips with the back of your hand, and you hand the water bottle back to Jimin. Your eyes enlarge as he uncaps it swiftly and takes a large swig, pressing his lips to the bottle's opening.

Okay. Never would you have thought you'd be sharing a water bottle with your teacher. That was something new.

There's a bit of awkward silence as both you and Jimin catch your breaths in the torrid heat of the afternoon. You jump when Jimin chuckles, breaking the moment of silence.

"Y/N," he laughs, "I'm not sure you understand what hiking is."

You make a face. Hiking? You would look up the exact definition if you could (just to double-check), but you're pretty sure there's no wifi around here. So you go with the definition you previously had in your head. "Isn't it just walking in nature?"

Jimin shrugs. "Well, yeah, but you have to admire the nature too. Jin's kinda pissed 'cause he thought we'd take our time hiking the trail, but you just ran off."

Oh no. Pissed Jin was not a good sign. "Shit," you mutter underneath your breath. "Where is he?"

"Fortunately for you, he's really far back." Your teacher adjusts his sunglasses and smiles. "You know your cousin, he hates not admiring anything. We'd be lucky if he even finishes the trail."

You laugh, nodding. "Accurate! Do you understand the struggle of having to wait for him to finish up in the bathroom in the morning? He can spend three hours looking at his reflection in the mirror!"

"That sounds like Seokjin, alright," Jimin snorts, shaking his head. "Do you think he'll spare us this time and make it quick?"

"Yikes, I really don't know," you sigh. "Maybe we should go back for him?"

Your teacher cocks an eyebrow. "You think?"

"No, not really." You shrug, stretching out your arms before grinning mischievously. "Let's let him catch up himself."

"Exactly what I was thinking."

You and your teacher quietly wait for your cousin to show up. But you should've known Jin, that slowpoke, would take forever. The hot sun beats down on you and you realize you didn't even put on sunblock—you had run off before Jin reminded you with his motherly instincts.

Hot sweat trickles down the back of your neck and you flinch.

I fucking swear if I can feel my own sweat trickling down my neck again I will flip.

You sigh. You know you need a good distraction... maybe talking will help? You desperately turn your head towards your teacher who looks as just as about done as you are.

His black hair is shimmering from his own sweat as his cheeks are flushed red from the heat; you spy a drop of sweat rolling down his neck and disappearing behind his loose t-shirt.

It's a good sign to start talking.

"Sooo," you start, Jimin turning his head towards you. "Tell me again why you became a math teacher?" you ask, wiping away a drop of sweat before it could roll down your neck.

"Because I like math," Jimin shrugs, pulling on his t-shirt and letting it go repeatedly to fan himself.

You're persistent, not taking a simple reply as an answer. "But why did you decide to teach high schoolers?"

Jimin turns to you fully, looking off into the distance as if he were thinking. "Well, elementary kids are too young to understand the type of math I like, junior high kids get annoying, college kids think they're the shit. High schoolers are perfect, er... or they fit me," Jimin says. "I probably shouldn't say that though. I could offend a whole bunch of people."

You laugh. "I'm not offended; I'm in high school. How'd you get a job so quickly? Aren't you still pretty young?" you continue to ask.

"Well," Jimin pauses. "I don't want to brag or anything, but I'm a math whiz," he says, throwing his head back and grinning at you.

"That was bragging," you mutter under your breath. "Straight up bragging."

Jimin pretends like he didn't hear you. "Any more questions?" Jimin asks sarcastically. "Hey, how about this—we take turns. You ask, then I ask."

"What? Why?" you whine. You didn't want to answer questions about your own private life, your plan to keep your distracted had blown up in your face.

"So I can get to know you too," Jimin replies.

"And we have to answer?"

"Yup."

"Okay, fine," you say. "When did you meet Jin?"

"When he came to school," Jimin simply says. "My turn."

"What no!" you whine. "That's a no-brainer answer, even I could've given an answer like that. I meant like around what time?"

"Uh..." Jimin hesitates, seemingly doing the math inside his head. "Well I knew he existed and everything but we didn't become close until around three months ago," Jimin estimates.

"Oh, I see," you say. "Jin doesn't usually bring people home unless they're special."

Jimin smiles, his eyes scrunching up and his soft lips spreading out. You try to look away but the sight is almost addicting.

Stupid Y/N.

"Special aren't I?" Jimin chuckles.

"Don't get too full of yourself," you murmur.

"I won't," Jimin assures you, "now it's my turn. How do you do so well on your math tests all the time? My questions are crazy hard you know, they're designed to trick and challenge."

You scoff, shaking your head disapprovingly. "What a nice teacher. But I tend to study each topic until I completely understand it. Math is simple logic," you shrug. "If you understand a topic completely, no matter how hard a question is, you'll be able to plow through. Good answer?"

"It's a logical answer," Jimin nods.

"My turn. Why did you decide to go on this trip if you knew I was going too?" you inquire.

"Because Jin invited me," Jimin says, but upon seeing your glare, he expounds, "and I can't refuse a nice beach trip. Besides, we're chill, right?" he says. "I hope. After that talk we went through..."

You quickly nod your head. "Yes, whatever, we're chill."

Jimin laughs. "How long have you been living with Jin?"

"Uh... Lemme see. Six, seven years?"

"Why do you live with your cousin?"

"Hey!" you say. "That's two questions."

"Oops," Jimin chuckles. "You go, then."

"Were you a nerd when you were in high school?"

"Is that even a question?" Jimin laughs. "Yes, I guess so. I tried really hard in school."

You nod. "Not surprised."

"Okay, so, why do you live with your cousin?"

Your face falls a bit. "It's kinda complicated," you say. "And lengthy."

"We have time," Jimin says, leaning back.

"Nah, I prefer to skip the question," you say. "We each get one skip," you dictate.

"Yes ma'am," Jimin jokes, saluting you.

You roll your eyes, then grinning evilly. "So, do you usually kiss people when you're drunk?" you ask as innocently as you can.

"Skip!" Jimin exclaims. "Once again, not appropriate!"

"Oh, c'mon, I'm generally curious!"

Jimin shakes his head. "I'm not answering that, Y/N."

"It's a yes or no question," you say.

Jimin laughs. "Still not gonna say a word."

"Fine then," you say. "Do I get another qu—"

"Y/N, you little hog!" Jin screeches from a short distance. You see your raging cousin, face red and blotchy as he clutches onto bundles of what looked like... food. "When I get my hands on you!" your cousin screams.

You look at Jimin frantically. "Should I run?" you ask.

"And risk being killed two times over? Your choice," Jimin answers, laughing.

"Y/N! Just because you're seventeen years old doesn't mean you can just run off whenever without saying anything!" Jin scolds as you sigh. "You could've fallen off the cliff and died! No one could've saved you!"

"I remember I clearly told you that I was gonna race you," you say defiantly, crossing your arms over your chest. "Besides, I'm careful."

Jin groans in frustration. "Are you asking me to ground you?"

Jimin chuckles on the side causing Jin to whirl around, glaring at his friend. "Doesn't Y/N always stay at home? Would it make any difference to ground her?" Jimin says, raising his eyebrows.

Jin sighs, shaking his head and turning to face you again. "Guess you've got a good point, my dude. But Y/N, I'm serious. You're the only family I have and I don't want to lose you. You have to be careful."

"Well you're the only family I have too," you say, rubbing your arm guiltily. "And I am careful!"

"Then can you explain to me why you're sunburned out of this world and why your leg is bleeding?" Jin says.

"Oh," you answer, only realizing the stinging pain of your sunburn and the cut on your leg.

Jimin chuckles from the back again. "Jin, you're literally like her mom."

Jin rolls his eyes. "Y/N, put on that aloe cream. Luckily, I knew you'd get sunburned somehow someway. Lemme get the first aid kit for your cut. God, Y/N, you are so not careful."

"Sorry, mom," you say. "But says the one who drinks and gets wacky."

Lucky for you, Jin doesn't hear as he rummages around Jimin's spacious car for a first aid kit.

You giggle under your breath as you watch Jin who was grumbling about, still searching for some antiseptic and a band-aid. You smile. Your cousin was the mother you've never really had.

Your leg bandaged protectively and your hands full of two jars of Jin's homemade aloe cream, you attempt to clap along with the audience, the jars clinking in response. Your eyes lit up as you watch a spectacular dance performance.

The vibrant colors of the costumes, the dance steps, the partner work were all so beautiful. Just an hour before when Jin had forced you to come to this show and dinner place, you had been quite skeptical, due to your detest of crowded places. But all of that had been replaced with admiration and enjoyment.

As another beautiful dance finished up, you take that moment to look over at your company who look as equally amazed as you are. Jin's clutching on a chicken leg, mouth half-open as he chews absentmindedly, eyes glued to the stage. Jimin's forgotten his food as his full attention is on the beautiful figures moving their bodies gracefully to the beat of the music.

You smile.

"Thank you!" one of the dancers says breathily, holding the microphone with both hands. He grins at the audience. "I think that's enough dancing for us tonight!" he exclaims, pointing to his fellow dancer friends behind him. "But maybe the crowd can have some fun now!"

A loud cheer erupts from the pleased crowd as people start to stand up, already getting ready to dance their hearts out on the beautifully lit stage.

The dancer with the mic laughs. "We'll clear the stage and then it'll all be yours. Cue the music!"

Bright, bubbly music rings from the large speakers as people follow the music up to the stage. And they dance.

You watch as Jin finishes the last of his chicken leg and turns to you and Jimin. "Wanna dance?"

"Oh yes," Jimin says, his eyes sparkling in excitement.

"Oh no," you say. "I like watching dancing, but not doing it."

Jin rolls his eyes. "You can watch yourself dancing then."

Without another word of argument Jin drags you on the stage, Jimin close by. The stage is way too crowded for your liking and the once happy-sounding music sounds like some kind of buffalo rampage.

But when Jin starts to dance, you can't help but forget all the uncomfortableness, that being replaced by laughter. Boy did Jin dance funny.

"You're doing great, Jinnie!" Jimin screams over the music as he busts out some moves himself.

Your eyes widen in shock as you see the way your teacher moves. He's graceful, his body moving smoothly with the music—as if the music was controlling his body—or no, as if his body was controlling the music.

"Y/N! Dance with me!" Jin yells in your ear as he takes both your hands and spins you around goofily.

"God, Jin, slow down!" you shriek as Jin moves your arms around to the beat of the music like you were his puppet. You're afraid you look like a dancing ragged doll at the moment.

But after a while, the worries go away and they're replaced with enthusiasm and joy.

"Whoo!" you scream as you dance like a madwoman. You're pretty sure Jin's already tired, he's lagging behind you, his limbs moving slower than before.

And just as expected, only several minutes later, you feel Jin grasp your shoulder. "Hey, Y/N!" he yells over the music. "I'm gonna go down and sit. I shouldn't be moving around so much after all that chicken I ate!" Then, your cousin turns to Jimin. "You better take care of her while I'm gone!"

You see Jimin nod out of the corner of your eye as you continue to dance your heart out.

But almost as soon as Jin leaves the stage, the bouncing music halts and other than you, twenty other people groan in complaint.

"C'mon! Mid-song? Really?" you whine, throwing up your arms, others around you causing a bigger tantrum.

Jimin quickly comes over to you, softly placing a protective hand on the small of your back. Your cheeks heat up slightly but then you remember Jin had practically ordered Jimin to take care of you. Your teacher doesn't take his hand off of your back and you think it's so you'd stay together if some kind of mob madness were to break out. But the madness never comes. Instead, the music turns back on—except it's slow and romantic.

Ohhhh no.

"Grab a partner everyone! It's time for some loOove!" a dancer announces into the mic. And as quick as lightning half the people on the stage left while the other half stays behind to find partners. You want to leave.

"Uh, Jimin, I think I'm just gonna leave now," you say as Jimin nods, leading the way out of the sea of moving people, his warm hand still placed on your back, guiding you. But as you were about to take another step forward, some large, buff guy walks right in front of you, blocking your path.

"Dance with me," he laughs, scratching his messy beard. You swear you see old pizza scraps in that thing. "C'mon, pretty lady," he coos, grinning as you spot pieces of lettuce and beef stuck between his teeth.

Shrinking back and trying to find the best way to nicely reject this man, you bump into someone's chest. Looking up, you see Jimin who enlaces his arm around you.

"Sorry, dude, she's with me," he says.

At this moment, you're so thankful for your teacher you could buy him a whole five-star meal.

"All the pretty ones are always taken," Beard Man sighs. He suddenly leans into you, causing you to act on instinct, gripping Jimin's hand for safety. You don't care if Jimin is your teacher at this point, you're too scared of this creepy guy to care. "If you change your mind about your protective lil boyfriend, I'm always here."

"No, I think I'll stay with my boyfriend, thank you," you say, squeezing Jimin's hand while shaking just slightly. Beard Man was hella intimidating, you had to admit. "Go find prettier ladies to hit on."

Before you can insult Beard Man even more, Jimin takes you by the hand, placing a hand on your waist and starting to move slowly to the romantic beat of the song. Quickly catching on that your teacher wanted you to dance away from Beard Man, you wrap your arms around your his neck as you let him guide you through a series of dance steps.

You don't dare to look up until several minutes later. You're happy to see Beard Man is gone, probably bothering some other poor, unfortunate girls. You relax your tense arms, still keeping them secured around your teacher's neck.

"I don't know why but that guy scared the living shit out of me," you confess, chuckling slightly. "Thanks for saving me, by the way."

"No problem. He was on something," Jimin answers, twirling you around slowly to the music.

"He had a plan?" you ask innocently as your teacher catches your waist and brings you back close to his arms.

"You're kidding, right?" Jimin says. "He was on drugs."

"Huh?" Your eyes open in shock. "Is that what that nasty smell was? I thought it was the rotting food in his beard."

Jimin nods. "And his eyes were all red too." Jimin shakes his head then smiles.

"Well, don't tell Jin about this," you say. "He'd try to murder the guy if he hears. And plus he probably won't even let me out of the house again because 'it's for your safety,' " you quote in a mocking voice. "I don't want my only friend to go to jail."

Your teacher raises his eyebrows. "Don't tell Jin? What makes you think I'd listen to you?" he teases lightly.

Offended, you scoff. "Because...?" You really don't have a reason.

Jimin laughs. "I'm just kidding, Y/N, I won't tell Jin, you can trust me."

You glare at your teacher as he innocently smiles at you, still leading you through the slow dance.

From afar you can see Jin, smiling from your table as he holds up his phone. He sure hella looks like he's recording you and Jimin dancing.

Wait a minute. Since when was I dancing with my fucking teacher?!

Quickly, you pull away from Jimin, face blushing red. Why didn't you feel weird while dancing with him? Why did it only occur to you now that this was... awkward? Weird? Illegal???

Jimin stares at you curiously as you look away in an attempt to hide your flushed face. "Are you tired? Do you want to go back?"

You nod your head. "Yeah, I think I need more food," you say, rubbing your belly convincingly.

Your teacher laughs. "I think you always need more food."

"You know me well, Jimin."

"Are you sure you don't wanna come in?" Jin asks, putting an arm around you as you both sink into the hot tub.

"I'm a bit busy, sorry," Jimin says as he flips his hair back, giving your cousin a sorry smile.

"I can't believe you brought work stuff on a vacation," Jin sighs as he flicks water at your teacher.

"Hey! Stop it!" Jimin cries as he swats the water away from his papers. "I'm grading quizzes!"

You perk up. "Did you grade mine yet?"

"Yes," Jimin says as he goes back to looking at his quizzes, marking a question wrong every so often (often as in every second).

"So?" you ask. "Did I do well?"

"Is that even a question Y/N?" Jimin laughs as his rings clink together when he turns to you. "You always do well so what's the surprise there?"

Jin smiles, patting your head. "That's my girl," he says. "You got your smarts from me."

You make a silly face. "I did? That'd be pretty unfortunate," you say as Jin splashes water at you. "Hey!" you yell. "You're lucky that dirty water didn't get in my mouth! Or else you would've been dead!"

Jimin chuckles. "Ah, god, you guys are making it too hard for me to keep working." He sighs as he sets off his quizzes to the side. "I'm coming in."

Your teacher starts to walk towards the hot tub as you quickly hide behind your cousin for your modesty; you were wearing that yellow bikini. You sneak a peek as Jimin throws off his t-shirt to the side and carefully climbs in the tub.

Hard abs... what the fuck Y/N. Stop!

"Ah," Jimin sighs as he glides into the tub. "I should've done this from the start."

"That's what I've been telling you, dude," Jin says. "And Y/N, stop clinging onto me like a monkey!"

"Will you stop comparing me with animals? First a hog and now a monkey!" you screech.

"You just sounded like a bird," Jimin laughs as he gives you a knowing look.

"What the hell?" you shout as you throw up your hands. "You guys are so mean to me!"

"You know I love you, Y/N," Jin says as he tugs you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head.

"I would say the same thing, but it wouldn't sound right," Jimin shrugs as he chuckles, watching you and your cousin hug it out.

"Yeah, no kidding," you mutter under your breath as Jin laughs heartily.

"Anyone up for some ice cream?" Jin asks as he starts to stand up from the tub. You try to tug him back down because he was your only shield covering your body from your teacher.

"Sure," Jimin says, leaning back. "Y/N? Ice cream?"

You sigh. "Ugh, okay. Hurry up, though, thanks."

"What an ungrateful brat," Jin teases you, pinching your cheeks. He flings his t-shirt over to you as he leaves. "Wear that if you're uncomfortable."

You thankfully pull the shirt over your head and tug it down to cover your whole body. Then, you turn to your teacher, newly assured to have your swimsuit covered up. "So... do you like the trip?" you ask as you settle down.

"So far it's great," Jimin answers as he stretches back. "It's a great break from my job."

"Job addicted much?" you tease, mercilessly.

"More or less," Jimin shrugs. "Or I want to succeed in life, unlike some other people." He gives you a mocking look.

"Excuse me, Jimin, but I have over a hundred in half of my classes," you say proudly. "I think I'll succeed."

"What a smartass," he chuckles, flicking water at you. "Teachers should stop having extra credit opportunities."

You huff, splashing your teacher with water, specifically aiming for his hair.

"Hey!" he shouts. "Not the hair!"

"Yes, especially the hair!" you shout back as you splash him with water again.

"Oh, it's on Y/N," Jimin yells as he sends you a huge wave of water that hits you smack in the face.

"Oh you lil—"

"Careful, Y/N, I'm still your teacher," Jimin teases as he flicks water at you again.

"Careful, Jimin, you still harassed me,” you tease right back.

"Harassed?" Jin asks as he slips into the hot tub with two buckets of ice cream. "What's that about?"

You and Jimin both jump, not hearing Jin walking in.

"Harassed? Who said anything about harassed?" you quickly say out of panic. But you're basically the worst liar in the history of worst liars.

"I literally... heard you," Jin says suspiciously.

Jimin sighs. "I was harassing her," he pauses as your eyes widen and your heart drops, "with water." You lean back and sigh in relief.

Jin takes a look at Jimin's soaked hair and your soaked face. "You two..." he sighs, mock-shaking his head. "Whatever. Have some ice cream, dorks."

Your trip to the beach with your teacher and your cousin wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. In fact, you thought it had been eventful and fun. To your surprise, you and Jimin had been able to get along quite smoothly despite your rough or er... heated start. By the end of the trip, both of you had basically made a joke out of the drunk make-out session, as if it weren't much of a deal anymore.

Still, you didn't know if you'd roll so smoothly in school.

When you walk into your math class, you glance at Jimin but look away quickly before he sees you. Sliding into your seat and taking out your pencil case, you keep your head low and watch the feet of your classmates scurry on into class.

As soon as the bell rings, you see from out of the corner of your eye, Jimin standing up. "I've graded your quizzes," he announces.

A collection of loud groans echo throughout the classroom.

"Y/N's probably the highest score again," someone whines.

"How'd you guess?" Jimin jokes, handing you your quiz back. And sure enough, a big, fat 100 is circled in the very front. Your quiz looks the same as you turned it in.

You take short glimpses of the other quizzes as your teacher passes them out and shrink back in shock.

There are more red marks than the white paper itself on most of them. Your classmates literally look like all the energy had been drained from them as they clutch their quizzes in shock.

"It was a hard one wasn't it?" Jimin says as he walks to the front of the class.

You're in shock. You thought it wasn't that bad.

"I'll curve the quiz," Jimin says. The whole class cheers as you smile too. That'd make you get over 100% again. "Now all of you can spend the rest of class correcting your quizzes," Jimin announces. "Ask each other for help. I'll be at my desk if you have any questions."

As soon as Jimin turns and walks to his desk, your classmates jump out of their seats and run to the back of the classroom, giggling and shrieking about their quiz scores. You're never a part of this.

Maybe because you don't have anything to correct, but also because you don't fit in—and you don't want to.

You turn over your quiz to hide your score and set it aside. Then, you take out the homework you've already accumulated from your earlier classes; you start to work. About thirty minutes in, you decide to take a small break and lean back, stretching your neck and back.

You look up slightly to see that Jimin was watching you. Cocking your head, you watch as Jimin gives you a small smile. You smile back, nodding your head slightly.

You guess it isn't that awkward. At least... not anymore.

When the bell rings, Jimin stands in front of the classroom door and collects the quizzes. You're always the last one out—mostly because your classmates practically fly out of class as soon as the bell rings.

Jimin takes your quiz off your hands and smiles. "Hey, nice job on the quiz," he says. "Have a good lunch, Y/N."

"Thanks," you reply. "You have a good lunch too."

If only he knew you ate alone.

—previous | next

—masterlist

[ticklishpeter]

remember when?

gfhdjbh this is so self-indgulgent. pls enjoy my second fic for diego’s day ! tw for,,,,,, pee i guess lmaoooo

fandom: the umbrella academy characters: diego & all the other hargreeves siblings!!! summary: klaus calls a family meeting; chaos ensues. word count: 1,691

The shrill sound of a bell rang through the mansion as Klaus sang out, obnoxiously loud, “FAMILY! FAAAMILYYYY!” The strong vibrato making Ben angrily cover his ears.

All six siblings met in the room fairly quickly; everyone looking either confused or tired... or both.  “What is it, Klaus?” Luther grumbled, sleepily scratching the back of his head.

“I’ve been watching our little old... home videos,” he held up air quotes, “and I came across,” chuckling, he put a video tape into the small television in front of the group, “such a lovely little memory.” 

A few seconds of fuzzy fast-forwarding later, the content of the tape made Diego’s stomach drop; it was an old ‘security tape,’ from when they all were 11 years old, of all six of his siblings pinning him down and tickling him to tears.

“I remember that. You guys tickled him until he cried,” Vanya exclaimed with an amused smile, watching the screen. 

“Oh, he did more than cry, if I remember correctly,” Luther snickered.

Yes, they made him pee his pants from laughing so hard. No, he would never admit it or talk about it ever again.

His face began to heat up, and as soon as each and every one of his siblings glanced over at him, he bolted off of the couch and ran away; at least... he attempted to run away. He didn’t get very far before he was taken down to the floor by his giant, half-ape brother.

“NO! KLAUS! — LUTHER! — DAMMIT, FUCK OFF!!” Diego growled, trying his very best to fight off his siblings, but it was six to one, and practically hopeless. And he knew exactly what was about to happen.

Luther managed to grab Diego’s upper arms, pinning them to the floor, as Klaus and Vanya each straddled a thigh. Leaving Allison, Five, and, while only visible to Klaus, Ben standing by; almost exactly like old times. Ben’s go-to spot used to be on the thigh that Vanya was now on, but he couldn’t help but smile at the fact that their sister was finally getting herself involved.

Allison took no time to start poking around at his stomach with two index fingers, and Diego’s tough facade lasted about two seconds before he fell into a fit of gasps and yelps, trying not to laugh. “No! It —” His voice was strained and rather high-pitched.

“What? Does it tickle? Huh? Does it tickle, Diego?” Allison cooed in her best baby voice as she wiggled one nail around the surface of his belly. 

He tried his hardest to frown but he just couldn’t hold back the giggles that were flooding out of him. It was just one finger, and no one else was doing anything except watching him; why the fuck was he so giggly already? 

“I-it doesn’t! It doesn’t t-tick —” he stifled a laugh and squirmed, angling his body away from Allison’s finger ever so slightly.

“It doesn’t what?” Adding her other pointer finger, she poked and scratched around his abs.

“D-doesn’t... t-tickle! Shut up!” he squeaked, saying the word made the dam break again as his shoulders began to bounce.

As Diego gasped through his laughter, trying to keep it quiet, Five kneeled down to his other side, squeezing at his ribcage. “C’mon Diego, laugh it up, you know you want to,” his menacing smile and teasing words catching Diego off-guard; he wasn’t used to Five being in such a mood. 

“S-s-stooop,” he whined, almost akin to a toddler about to snitch to their mom. Giggling into his shoulder, he felt his face begin to heat up.

As if he wasn’t about to scream already, Ben reached over Allison’s shoulder, lifted Diego’s shirt only slightly and wiggled a few fingers in and around Diego’s bellybutton. 

“NO!” You’d think he was being stabbed by one of his knives with how loud he screamed, and how violently he’d flinched. 

Five and Allison looked confused for a second before Klaus’ voice piped up, “Ooh, Ben’s getting the tickle button!” They all couldn’t help but grin; of course he was. The way Diego’s face quickly reddened, and the way his laugh’s pitch heightened was enough of a sign.

“It’s! No, it’s — it’s not a ti — GAH! I-it’s not a b-b-button!” That definitely wasn’t what he meant to say; he just didn’t want to say the dreaded word.

“Pretty sure it’s called a belly button, Diego. What are you talking about?” Vanya couldn’t help but giggle with sheer amusement.

“Yeah, and it is a tickle button because every time you touch it, this happens.” Klaus reached up to poke at his navel, which resulted in a ticklish yelp and approximately 5 successive curse words. 

Klaus, with his other hand, then began to pinch and squeeze at his brother’s thigh and Vanya followed suit. 

“NOHOHO, — SHIT, NO!” he hiccuped, much to his chagrin, “GUYS, FUCKING — FUCK!! FUCKING STOHOHOHOP, STOPSTOP, GOD D-DAMMIT!”

Five scoffed, a dimple showing on one of his cheeks, “And you all say I have a potty mouth.” His squeezes moved to his vigilante brother’s upper stomach, as Allison focused on the center, her nails now also finding his navel. 

Squealing as his legs shook fervently, Diego tugged on his arms with all the strength he could muster (which wasn’t much) and squirmed around as much as he could. God, this was humiliating. He was painfully aware of the squeaky and pathetic sounds he was making but could not, for the life of him, stop making them, which made his face burn.

“Aww, Diego, you sound like a big baby!” Klaus laughed, poking up and down his designated thigh in no particular rhythm, before laughing again at Diego rapidly shaking his head, now practically unable to speak.

“Don’t make any noise and we’ll let you go.” Allison taunted over Diego’s uncharacteristically boisterous squeals, spidering five nails across the middle of his stomach.

“FUCK OFF!” he yelled before quickly changing his tone after she poked a torturous nail into his navel. “OKAY, OKAY, I WON’T MAKE ANY NOISE,” he rambled, turning his head away.

“Deal,” Allison smiled, beginning to drag a single nail in circles around his tummy, slowly but surely closing in on his goddamned belly button.

A sharp exhale left poor Diego’s nose, and she wasn’t even close to the middle of his stomach yet, but he knew what was coming... and that made it ten times worse.

“That wasn’t a noise, right?” Luther genuinely asked before Allison and Klaus shook their heads. “We’ll let it slide for wittle baby Diego’s sake.” Allison mused, relishing in Diego’s reaction as he shook his head into his shoulder and scrunched his face up. 

“Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!” Klaus giggled, clearly having the time of his life. 

Five chuckled, loving the nostalgic shared moment with his siblings, “Let’s hope you don’t piss yourself again, Diego.”

“Yeah, I was embarrassed for you,” Luther chuckled, holding his arms down, still with seemingly no effort at all. 

He wanted so badly to tell them all to shut the hell up, but he couldn’t because he was too busy trying to swallow any noise he could possibly make. His shoulders bounced as laughter quietly bubbled in his throat.

The closer and closer Allison’s nail got to the hole in his middle, the harder it became to hold anything in. Out of anticipation alone, a humiliating giggle escaped his lips, and with the exaggerated coos that followed, he couldn’t hold back any longer. A screech preceded bouts of giggly, adorably contagious laughter.

“Aww, already? But I’m being so nice to you!” Allison chuckled, a hint of endearment in her voice. 

As soon as her nail dipped in, he was done for. But then... she added another hand, and as Five continued to pinch around the skin, Klaus and Vanya reached up to vibrate claw-shaped hands into his lower tummy, and Ben squeezed at his sides. Fucking fuck. 

“Tummy attack!” Klaus screeched as the others added in some laughs, teases, and coos. 

The feeling of all ten hands (one pair of which was unbearably phantom-like) all scritching, poking, and digging in to his tummy was enough to convince him that he was on the brink of death, and Luther’s fingers twitching into his triceps just added to the torture. Tears began to sting his eyes, and his cheeks began to hurt. He was a squirmy, screeching, laughing mess. And ... oh god, his bladder was getting uncomfortable.

The mixture of a snort and growl that left his mouth made his siblings laugh. “PLEHEASE,” he cried out with a wide smile, “I CAHA-” his cackles faded into silent laughter as his whole body trembled. 

A cacophony of coos and teases came from his brutal siblings as they did not let up; Diego felt like the tickling sensation on his stomach was somehow getting worse. 

“STOP IT! STOPIT, STOP PLEEEA —” between hiccups, he mouthed the words “I can’t, I can’t!” as he shook his head into his arm, occasionally trying to bite at Luther’s hands. “I’M GONNA P — HA!! I’M GONNA — EEK! FUCK, NO, NO, ALLISON! GUHUHUYS!” Diego’s legs bounced beneath Klaus and Vanya when he felt a huge raspberry right over his belly button. The feeling of that mixed with 50 fingers on his tummy was too much. He just couldn’t.

Diego let out a loud, more urgent sounding yelp as he kicked a leg, “GUYS! GETUPGETUPGETUP!” He would rather die admit that he peed himself again, and he didn’t have to because Vanya noticed his pants’ spreading stain first, immediately standing up and covering her laughing mouth.

“Oh my God, guys!” She couldn’t help but crack up.

The rest of his siblings laughed when they realized; Five doubling over and Klaus cackling as he stood. The second that Luther let go of his arms, Diego held one of them over his crotch and the other over his face before turning away towards the bathroom. All the Hargreeves saw was a middle finger as their ticklish brother wobbily, and angrily, stormed away. He would not hear the end of this.