#aaaaaaaaaanyway

[cookinary]

*pops out of art block* Here, have an AU I created 2 days ago

Cleaner AU! His nickname is Snow for reasons

Pedro isn't sent on jobs in this one, but is instead the designated cleaner

Against his will obviously

He gets rid of the bodies and of the evidence

Cleans all the blood and trash

He got incredibly effective as the years went by

Pretends to be unfazed by it after a while but still hates doing it and is always disturbed by it deep down

The Family decided to lend his services to other gangs

Still against his will

All his experience with making someone disappears off the face of the Earth got really useful when he decided he had enough

Killed everyone and cleaned the crime scenes so well, it's like nothing happened

Uses more sneaky ways of killing people (like poison darts) so he doesn't have to clean as much blood afterwards

He happens to like painting in his free time so he uses the red paint excuse if he misses a blood stain on his clothes

He developed a severe anxiety linked to cleaning as he associates death threats with a bad cleaning job

Needless to say, he regularly deep cleans his apartment

I love him very much, he's my boi

Reminder that my ask box is always open and that reblogs help more than likes!

*pops back in art block*

[trollprincess]

Me when my mom told me the racist homophobe on the town council told her, “I didn’t know your daughter was *like that*!” about me being bi and that her mom (not her sister) was the one harassing me on FB:

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

fucking idiot.

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

i never really understood why people always say there's a shame involved in like. chronic illnesses. but i think i get it today. i'm just like overcome with shame every time i write a sub plan bc of how many i've written and how shitty my work has become bc of the amount of sub plans. the way i haven't been able to get any consistency in my fucking english lessons bc i keep having to be home sick. anyways.

[taniushka12]

Get you a friend which whom you can eat a burger king combo, drink a whole can of beer, walk thirty smth blocks and drink a cappuccino w/ cake with at 2 am while laughing at her black humor

[windandwater]

Thank god someone made this post, I've been sitting on info like this for years. Some other DC cultural stuff that I absorbed from growing up there:

The mundanity & the secrets are for safety not just to keep them out of jail but to keep them, you know, alive. If you know that someone specific has a specific secret job doing specific secret & dangerous things, that knowledge puts you & them at risk.

For this reason it is cultural in DC to know when to shut up and stop asking questions. There are certain things you hear in response to "where do you work?" that you know to say "okay cool" to and move on from and you very deliberately do not learn more.

When I left DC I was horrified by people's rudeness in this regard. You can no longer say "works at [x]" because people will start asking invasive, dangerous questions. People assume the lies you're telling are exciting instead of boring; you have to be much more vague to throw them off.

In certain places in the US government, every email/correspondence is marked "for official use only," one level below "confidential" so even if you are allowed to take it out of the building you have to destroy it after use. So for example if you, say, need to print out tickets for something that you get with a government discount to your government email, it is very, very funny for your [redacted] tickets to have a big scary government "THIS IS OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE DESTROY DO NOT MISUSE" warning at the bottom of the printout.

own personal quotes from, uh, knowing people: "it'll be on the news" "they got the guy" "don't believe everything you hear"

sometimes you will know about facilities/offices that the media hasn't found yet and this is regular information

sometimes you will know someone who has seen the president of the united states cry. you will not know their job.

(you might have the pieces to figure out what their job is but not put them together on purpose because you have been trained by the culture of your city to not do that)

this is normal.

if this sounds like regional gothic, yeah, I wrote a whole post.

There's a huge patch of government-owned land in Maryland with a big "keep out" sign on it and everyone Just Knows that the Secret Security trains there. no idea where the entrance is. it just looks like regular woods.

Note: the "secret" security is just the security that everyone knows about and if you think about it for two seconds of course it is? It's actually hilarious that people talk like that's the only people guarding the president.

Not only can you not have a cell phone, in certain agencies you must assume that all your phone conversations are being listened to (or can be in the future). If you need to call someone at work, you operate under that assumption.

For the vast VAST majority of jobs, your immediate family can know *where* you work, just not the specifics of what you do. This wasn't the case in the 40s/early days of security agencies but it is now.

The types of jobs where you have to actively lie to even your family about where you work are incredibly rare and incredibly secret and anyone who has them is going to be very tight-lipped even once they're dead. You may not ever know. If you find out you are probably not ever going to be able to share that information with anyone.

Related to phones, this is just a tip that I know because of related reasons: your cell phone conversations are not secure. If you need to exchange personal information over the phone and want to do it securely, use landline-to-landline communication. Otherwise assume that info is not safe.

I also had a seven-month job as an admin at a government contractor and here's some info on that:

A bunch of government contractor offices are clustered in the same area in Arlington. Big ones, little ones. Right around the Rosslyn metro stop but Arlington in general is kind of the hub for that stuff. Military stuff too, including the Pentagon.

(I fucking hate Arlington lmao) (at least montgomery county has science shit)

I didn't need a clearance to work there but certain people there did have clearances and certain information was private/classified/etc., and as a result I had to deal with that from the admin side.

For example: we had a large volume of documents required to be shredded. To the point where in-house shredders couldn't handle it all. There are services that will take your documents away to be shredded but due to the level of security, we had to have the shredding truck (a giant shredder in the back of a truck, it is as terrifying as it sounds, one of the guys said you could put a glass bottle in those blades and they'd chew it up) come to us and I had to watch everything be shredded on-site then sign off to confirm that it had been completed.

Certain areas of the office were off-limits to non-employees without an escort, and I was that escort, because you do have to have outside vendors come in and do maintenance etc. Someone had to sit with them the entire time they did the work. They never clarified to me whether I could bring a book or not so yes this was as boring as it sounds, although a couple times the workers were chatty and I made friends.

At one point we (the admin staff) had to stop wearing company-branded lanyards on our badges because employees from a competing company heard our people from our company talking about a helicopter we were competing on, and from that point on if we left the building a lot no one could know where we worked. This was extremely stupid due to I didn't know anything about the helicopter but technically at that point I could have been a spy for that company if I'd felt like it (I also didn't care about the helicopter) and I guess they just didn't want us to be approached at all.

And here's my last fact, also the most important one:

The only non-Washingtonian I've ever met who viscerally understood this side of DC culture, was Russian.

Your OPSEC is Bad and You Should Feel Bad

Okay so one of the many things that drives me absolutely nuts about most TV shows and (some) books that involve secret or classified information or secure facilities is how absolutely not secure everything is, so these are a few basic things that people get wrong:

You can't carry around classified information. There are, I assume, exceptions in specific cases, though they are assuredly very carefully managed, but random intel agent #12 cannot legally just take home classified information so they can work on it at home. That's incredibly illegal. And that's for a reason--secure facilities are, as the name suggests, secure. Everywhere else is varying levels of not secure. Even for people working with regular business or government materials on their work phone or laptop, there are varying levels of strict rules about where you can leave it, how to report a lost device, and not keeping it in checked bags.

Badges should be innocuous and limited in visible information. Any sensible security system doesn't have badges that are numbered/colored/otherwise identified by access level, because that is a really easy way to identify targets for thieves/people who want to break in. American federal ID cards (CAC for military, PIV for civilian) have really specific layouts. Some companies distinguish between full time employees, interns, vendors, etc in their cards.

Badges shouldn't be displayed outside of the office. This is not really followed by real people (if you get on the metro on DC you will see a wide variety of visible badges), but displaying a badge is not security-wise because 1) it makes them easier to steal, and 2) it can make you a target.

Names/access level/information shouldn't be openly announced. I'm looking at you, MCU Spider-Man fanfiction. Just. Don't.

Confidential/classified information shouldn't be openly discussed. Stop having your characters talk about confidential or classified information in front of people who shouldn't know it, or even just out in the open at all. They shouldn't be telling their parents, their friends, their spouses, etc. Even businesses or government buildings that deal with sensitive information, there may be spaces where certain things can or can't be discussed, and employees/contractors will go through approximately 8 million trainings on where you can't discuss certain information. This also involves erasing whiteboards, locking computers, etc.

You can't have cell phones in certain secure facilities. People shouldn't be having their cell phones with them in SCIFs. This prohibition extends to all things that can be recording devices, including furbies.

[starfilled-galaxy]

sniff

[ghastigiggles]

aaaaaaaaaanyway i havent played the latest update of pressure yet (fashionably late as always. and im too chickenshit to play solo) but i love the bunnies. oh my god i would die for them.

the amount of videos where they trade a mine and get exploded has had me absolutely rolling though, oh my god, why did they code that. those poor bunnies

[f4y3w00d5]

well you sorta cant anyway? she'd kill you before she let you leave....

*knocks on your door*

*slowly opens said door*

[purplehairedwonder]

Chapter 1080: Holding Out for a Hero

Man, the events happening outside of Egghead continue to be fascinating, don’t they? We’re going from one Emperor’s territory last week to another’s this week, as this chapter takes place entirely on Hachinosu.

So, Blackbeard took Coby hostage with the intent of using him to bargain with the World Government to make Hachinosu an actual country with Blackbeard as king. 

This is an unexpected development. On the surface, it lines up because Blackbeard is quite power hungry, and what could be more powerful than a king? It worked for Doffy for a decade. We also know he wants to be Pirate King, and this would make him king of Pirate Island... a kind of Pirate King, I suppose. My assumption, though, that Blackbeard’s desire here is part of a larger plan, like him becoming a Warlord to get access to Impel Down. The question is what next step this might lead to, though.

Could he be scheming to gain access to Mariejois at the next Reverie? (Yes, I’m aware the next one isn’t for four years; we’re also talking about a guy who stayed with the Whitebeard Pirates for twenty years before making a move.) Let’s not forget the existence of the national treasure that Doffy mentioned needing the Ope Ope no Mi for?

(And where is Blackbeard currently? Oh, you know, just fighting the owner of the Ope Ope no Mi.)

Anyway, Blackbeard assumes the World Government will go out of their way to rescue their young hero, but Coby tells him that is not going to happen because...

And, according to Kuzan (who many also believe to be a member of SWORD), the World Government won’t negotiate over a member of SWORD.

Slight tangent, but this explanation doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. If the members of SWORD have resigned their commissions, doesn’t that mean they’ve literally quit their jobs? How are they still employed by the Marines (e.g., we saw Coby escorting the Dressrosan entourage to the Reverie)? And, if members of SWORD resigned their commissions, then the World Government would be aware of who the members are, which seems counterintuitive for a group that is the direct opposite of CP0/Aegis.

Hopefully we’ll get more clarification here, but the explanation is, well...

Aaaaaaaaaanyway, Blackbeard plans to try to negotiate anyway because the optics will be terrible if the World Government doesn’t help the hero of Rocky Port.

SPEAKING OF ROCKY PORT. We got another mention. And it turns out Rocky Port was on Hachinosu this whole time?!

That’s quite surprising for a few reasons. One, it means that apparently civilians live on Hachinosu, not just pirates (as Coby became a hero for helping civilians). Two, it likely means that Law made it all the way to Hachinosu during the timeskip. My boy was just jetting all over the New World while preparing to take down Doffy, wasn’t he?

I need to know what happened at Rocky Port, Oda. I’m begging you. (I wrote some other thoughts about Rocky Port in a separate post here.)

Another wrinkle in this whole thing is that Perona has arrived to rescue Moriah, who apparently is not dead after all. 

The fact that Blackbeard took Moriah captive rather than killed him seemed to support the idea that he’d take Law hostage rather than kill him if he comes out ahead in their fight.

Another thing we learn in this chapter is which members of the Blackbeard Pirates are present on Hachinosu: Shiryu, Avalo Pizarro, Vasco Shot, and Sanjuan Wolf. (Also, some of their Devil Fruits are wild. Pizarro’s seems like an upgraded version of Pica’s, for instance.)

Meanwhile, Blackbeard, Van Augur, Jesus Burgess, and Doc Q are at Winner Island, facing off against the Heart Pirates.

That leaves Lafitte, Catarina Devon, and Kuzan to be on the ship heading for Egghead.

At the end of the chapter, the cavalry arrives. We meet some more members of SWORD, including Tsuru’s granddaughter. 

I just wanted to include this page because it’s a really freaking cool angle.

We also see Helmeppo and Tashigi. (No Smoker, though. Where is he, I wonder?)

And then there’s Garp.

Last chapter we finally got a named attack from Shanks. Now we’re getting one from Garp. And neither disappointed. WOW.

Wow wow wow.

(I hope Coby wasn’t caught up in that explosion, heh.)

Another break so soon is brutal. But these last few chapters have been absolute bangers, damn.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for committing countless war crimes in the name of vengeance?

Alright. A little bit of backstory for all of you. My hometown was completely obliterated along with all my friends and family. I was a little bit upset, so I joined the army of the man who was responsible in order to get close to him. Close enough that I could assassinate him, and finally avenge the only home I knew. This part worked surprisingly well, but the main issue was I was now on the "destroying towns and killing people" side of the second great war.

Fast forward, I'm a lieutenant, the war has just ended with a peace treaty (the tensions are still as high as ever before. Maybe even higher since nobody knows what the cunt in yellow is planning), and the aforementioned cunt is orbiting this shithole of a town. "My chance", I thought at the time, and caught a train immediately. Arriving there, me and the other passengers were thrust into a death game, but that's not really important right now except I think there's some cult shit going on. The only sane soldier here (besides me) isn't wearing boots...

Aaaaaaaaaanyways, I am almost immediately attacked verbally and maybe even physically (Does heartbreak count as physical pain?)by everyone else because I'm SOMEHOW the scum of the earth because of a few things that I didn't do and a few things that I definitely did do. The thing is, the ends surely justify the means, correct? This man took everything I had. I had everything. I had to do this because we were in a war, I had to do this exactly because it's the only method that would work. Surely what I'm doing would benefit more people than not doing it.

Either way, I'm pretty dead set in my ways. I could be guilty, or whatever, but I've done too much to stop. Go big or go home, right? I'm just using the results to show everyone else. AITA?

Edit: You'll never guess who's about to shoot this idiot and end this once and for all. I don't even caaaare about what results I get I'm gonna post the results in a bit.

Edit: um. oosp. wgy did the bullet not work?

Edit: i tguink this guy is actually a god, and also I now huave a gaping cgest wound. i was rescued and put back ontothe train and i'm really pissedt off at this. because now im being called a n asshole to my face even more like okayyyyyyyyyyOw.Ow. good news i probsably wwont make it for like alonger than a day or two. pluease aita results come in sooner

[trollprincess]

So my mom was talking to my brother’s girlfriend on Christmas about how my grandpa (her dad) paid for my dad’s college for a year as a wedding present in 1977. It cost $600. That’s $3,100 today. For college. For a year.

Then she mentioned something I didn’t know, which is that because my mom was uninsured and pregnant, my grandpa also paid the hospital bill when I was born five months later. It was $700. Which is $3,500 today.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway.

[anonymous-bastard]

15-minute cities

I have been enabled by @hinata-rosario-revamped and @transdimensional-evildorito

Most of this will be under the cut because I'm not a monster that spams people with text blocks.

Edit: uh I did n o t plan to post this yet lol. I'll leave this up and like, nothing I say here is wrong but I'm not sure how coherent it is yet and I wanted to add some more stuff, I'll take a proper look tomorrow.

So short tldr on the concept of the fifteen minute city: basically, the idea that all anemities of daily life should be reachable within fifteen minutes and without use of a car.

Got it? Good.

So you will realise what it isn't is, is a government conspiracy to lock people into ghettos. If you start coming at me with that bullshit in my comment section or askbox I will eat you. I have no patience for that brand of bullshit.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway. Let's do this.

To understand why the idea of the 15 Minute city gained popularity, you need to understand why the cities of today are the way they are. Where I will take this moment to subtly point the finger at the Athens charta.

The Athens charta codified two ideas relevant to us: the car-centric city and the functional separation within cities.

The car-centric city is basically what the names implied: cities, build and restructured in such a way to prioritise travel by car. It was based on the belief that the automobile would replace all other forms of transports, including walking, even for short distances. This resulted, especially in the US, in the reduction and abolishment of public transport and a loss of cities walkability.

"Functional separation" is just a fancy way of saying the Charta wanted for cities to separate industrial areas, living areas, shopping areas etc (= the different 'functions' within the city). This was achieved by zoning regulation.

These ideas were standard practice for decades until people went wait... this is complete and utter trash.

The idea behind car-centric design as that soon, peope would no longer need to walk anywhere, they'd always simply take the car, even for short distances.

The problem with car-centric design is it makes the city an incredibly unsafe place, because cars are incredibly unsafe. It makes walking and biking dangerous and uncomfortable. It means excluding people without a car from participation in society. Also there are parked cars everywhere, which believe it or not is an incredible nuisance to city planners. I could probably write a 1000 word essay on why car-centric design is bad alone.

Separating life and work by a long distance results in ridiculously long commutes, a lot of time spent just sitting in a car. It also results in needing to built car infrastructure in such a way that they can handle rush hour and results in traffic jams. Another factor is that, especially in North America, it really lengthened the distance to things such as the grocery store, doctors, restaurants, etc.

Now caveat: there is sense in separating living areas from industrial ones, because they are loud, smelly and unhealthy. But there is no sense not to allow a grocery store next to the people that buy their groceries there.

After urban planners realised hey, we fucked this up, new ideas and guiding principles startd to emerge.

One of them is the 15-minute-city, which presents a direct antithesis to the ideas I just explained.

Like I mentioned, the idea is simple: daily amenities, reachable within 15 minutes (one way), no cars. Daily ammenities include: work, school, groceries, hobbies, doctors, exercise etc.

This sound simple, but it actually requires a lot of restructuring of the city.

Like I mentioned, especially in North American cities, daily ammenties simply Are Not that close by. They need to be shifted back into the communities they serve, so instead of driving to the restaurant for half an hour, you are there within ten minutes by foot. This requires massive rezoning and rewriting of zoning regulation in general.

What it also includes is a massive increase in pedestrian and biking infrastructure. This is a basic requirement for the 15-city to work. Without good pedestrian and bike infrastructure, people will simply continue to take the car. Similarly, public transport needs to be introduced/ increased.

[ghouliete-tohis-ghouleo]

hahahA oh that's funny! you're a funny one, Juliet, ya know that? Hilarious, even!!

you know, with all that Lying about how much you've changed, I betcha you'd make a reeeeeeeally good actor! OH WAIT! you already did that! see, you're still a natural!!

aaaaaaaaaanyway, you're tooootally convincing all of us, mmhm!

-🕸️

don't- don't call me that anymore. I don't want to go back to being an actor and I'm not fucking lying. its not my fault you cant understand that.

[thessalian]

Astrid vs Grymforge

In the midst of old ruins

Astarion: So now we're doing more favours for mushrooms. We steal a boat, get stopped by cultists, and the next thing you know, we're in here apparently trying to save the person whose head we need to bring back to King Mushroom. This is ridiculous.

Astrid: It's the life of an adventurer, Astarion. You know how all the bard tales go.

Astarion: Yes, but a good bard glosses over the stupid parts. ...No offense intended.

Astrid: Look, we're in the remnants of a Sharran temple, so Shadowheart's happy. We're just a little ways away from getting to Moonrise Towers, so we should all be happy. And we're tracking down that forge I read about, so I'm happy.

Astarion: When do I get to be happy?

Astrid: When you get to drain a drow and maybe get whatever gifts the parasite he's got in his head left?

Astarion: You are dangerous, aren't you. Very well.

Astrid: Good. Now, I hear these guys talking about not being very happy with this Nele's leadership so I'm going to go talk him into some help, okay?

Astarion: We couldn't just ... slaughter everyone in the place and move on to the elevator?

Astrid: Objectively ... no.

Astarion: Damn.

Awhile later, being trailed by another scrying eye

Gale: I honestly wish I had a command word to blind these things. Where are we going to find a quiet, unobserved space to get rid of it?

Astrid: I know just the place! *points at duergar throwing bodies into the river*

Gale; Astarion: Oh, ew.

Shadowheart: How are you two that repulsed by dead bodies after all we've been through?

Gale: There is a threshhold, Shadowheart.

Astrid: Okay, I talked them into letting us dump the bodies for them and I found you a shiny, Astarion. It'll make you invisible which should really help your stealth. Not that you really need it, but hey. Anyway, do the honours?

Astarion: I really wish it was easier to just dislike you.

A whoooooole bunch of stabbing later

Astrid: Okay, so Nele's gone, the duergar are clearing out--

Astarion: I don't believe you made them give up their slaves and didn't even keep any.

Astrid: Astarion, what would we do with slaves at this point?

Astarion: Turn them into cannon fodder? Give me a nice little buffet?

Astrid: .........Aaaaaaaaaanyway, now we need this guy's head. Um. Nuts.

Astarion: What is it now?

Gale: I don't think she's physically strong enough to hack off someone's head. Um ... if you'll lend me a blade, I could--

Shadowheart: She wouldn't force anyone else to do it. Astrid. Here. *tosses a Potion of Hill Giant Strength to her*

Astrid: You know, it's nice and all that we have them, but I know what goes in these things. Oh well. *chugs* UGH. Do you think crushed mint would make it stop working?

Gale: You'd probably have to experiment. Though it could be dangerous depending on what changes the extra ingredients make.

Astarion: Another reason to have kept the slaves, perhaps.

Astrid: Face. Shut.

After a whooooooole lot of fiddling and hopping around; at the Adamantine Forge

Shadowheart: Why are we doing this, again?

Astrid: You're basically our front-liner at this point. I want some better armour and a better mace for you. So I'm going to use this spiffy forge to craft them.

Shadowheart: ...Aw...

Astrid: Now, I think all this is going to fill with lava so maybe stand on these platforms. Okay? Okay! PULL THE LEVER, ASTARION!

Astarion: I will turn this winch, if that's what you mean.

Winch: *is turned*

Grym: *exits*

Astrid: Ooooooooooh so that's what they meant by the guardian.

Gale: That thing is massive! How are we going to even hurt it?!?

Astrid: It's okay! I've got this! Remember how I handled those automatons?

Astarion: *dodging giant mace* This thing is not in the mood for a poem, Astrid!

Astrid: No, no, I meant the more recent automatons, from when we came down here. Ahem. *dead-on imitation of Gale* IGNIS!

Grym: *becomes Superheated*

Gale: ...wut.

Astrid: Heat Metal. I needed a verbal component for a fire-related spell; who did you think I was going to borrow? Now let's lure him onto that place where the hammer strikes and turn him into a pancake!

Astarion: What?!? ...Oh. Ooooooh. *runs for the Forge Lever*

Astrid: *pulls lute; to the tune of Hammer to Fall, obviously* Hey there, Grym ; just hear my call / Don't bother with my friends at all / You've held this place a thousand years / But we've just brought it down around your ears...

Gale: So ... wait, I'm not supposed to hit it? I don't really want it to hit her!

Shadowheart: None of us do!

Astarion: Neither of you do; honestly, better her than me.

Grym: *stomps towards Astrid and stops on Forge platform*

Astrid: *still singing* Sorry, Grym, you poor dead slob / We're gonna hit you like a crumbling wall / Just came out to do your job / But now it's time for the hammer to faaaaaall!

Astarion: *hauls on the Forge Lever*

Hammer: *falls*

Grym: *is a pancake*

Astrid: Nicely timed! And look, Shadowheart; your mace is ready!

Astarion: The cinnamon roll is a continuous pain in my backside most of the time ... but I have to admit, she has style.

[f0point5]

to the anon that said that nothing happened in 90 parts: tell us you lack reading comprehension skills without telling us you lack reading comprehension skills; clearly they must've been raised with hallmark films where everything happens in one week to be stupid enough as to not realise how complex the situation is when you are walking the fine line of friendship/relationship and how slow the transition is. aaaaaaaaaanyway! love your fic, miss f0point5, thank you for writing it❤️‍🔥

I honestly just feel bad they read all 90 parts 😂 I used so many words with more than 3 syllables how did they cope? Did they purchase an OED just to read my boring fic?

But thank you very much you’re very sweet 🥰🥰🥰 you get me I like you 🧡🧡🧡