#a work situation like this. did i think he was capable of such things? did i want to believe it? no but repeat after me:
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Anya is the actual protagonist of mouthwashing and I think she should be legally allowed to shoot any man she wants at any time and also should be given a nobel peace prize and $10 trillion. Also fuck Curly for being an abuse apologist and I want to throw jimmy directly into the sun
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#also i understand why ppl sympathize w curly cause its impossible not to considering the state hes in#but also; its actually incredibly easy to not continue being friends with a predator#simply care about victims. about women specifically#but abuse victims generally! also as a victim of several forms of abuse i really related to anya and the portrayal of the harsh reality that#“good” people often aren't “safe” people for us. also#in response to curly defenders out there my response is source: i have literally personally cut a cis man out of my life immediately bc of#a work situation like this. did i think he was capable of such things? did i want to believe it? no but repeat after me:#BELIEVE VICTIMS holy fuck. its literally that simple. curly is a cowardly misogynist period !!!#anyway#9/10 game the gameplay is meh but that story... mmmmwah
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What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?
(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)
Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:
#ffxiv#wolship#g'raha tia#y'shtola rhul#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#arsay nun#graharshtola#y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw#and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh'#her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo#i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship#someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections#its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either#just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together#or that she could at least bring some cheer to#and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it'#which arsay certainly did#i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags#so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks#graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough#to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her#to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath.#he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life#but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast#so hes trying to build her up in other ways#focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side#and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its#'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter
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The Incredible Hulk (1968) Annual #10
#while I don’t deny that Bruce and the Hulk’s relationship is more complicated than two completely seperate people who happen to share a body#and I’m not strictly opposed to stories having moments where a certain action of the Hulk’s is attributed to Bruce influencing him#I disliked it back when it was the norm to frame it as the Hulk is a straightforward monster#and anything good he did was because of the man buried deep inside briefly coming out#in part because that’s frankly boring as it makes the Hulk a non-character with very limited interiority#I prefer it when Bruce's influence on the Hulk is limited to knowledge#like that the Hulk did something because he subconsciously remembered something relevant about how radiation works#and I like it better that Bruce and the Hulk have their own different ethos and understanding of right and wrong#I'm thinking of this one scene in The Rampaging Hulk where Bruce sees a child being abused and tries to ignore it#because he doesn't want to get upset and turn into the Hulk#but when he does and the Hulk sees that he immediately intervenes in the situation#but also there's that the Hulk has certain opinions about how fighting is supposed to work#like he judges people for primarily using weapons that fire from a distance rather than physically fighting up close#and I'm sure that Bruce doesn't care about things like that#this story is taking that the approach that the Hulk’s ability to reason is solely limited to Bruce’s influence#so that when they’re seperated the Hulk isn’t capable of reasoning at all#which is not how the Hulk was portrayed when the two of them were separated previously#and which I’m attributing to Bruce’s biased perspective on the Hulk rather than the reality of the situation#I’m not sure how to word this right but I think my understanding of the Hulk’s problems#is more focused on how his intelligence is understood than some other readers’#like I’m not that convinced of the importance of the Hulk’s appearance and that he’s the strongest there is#while they’re not not contributing factors I do think that the Hulk is devalued because he’s not intelligent#that trying to kill him or ‘cure’ Bruce of them are seen as viable solutions to the problem of the Hulk#because he’s essentially not worth saving#and in turn that it’s particularly tragic that this happened to Bruce because he matters so much as an intelligent person#marvel#bruce banner#my posts#comic panels
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Jimmy is an egotistical, delusional, and narcissistic person who wasn't capable to be a leader and a manipulative person as well. He r-word anya, literally make Curly not being able to do anything and literally the reason why Daisuke and Swansea died
Sunny is a child, he pushed Mari out of stress and fear, he suffered a lot due to the traumatic incident he had to witness plus the grief and guilty due to the consequences of his actions
Honestly, I am baffled as to how you think this two characters are the same, you probably need to seek a brain specialist and check your neurons, I'm sure God gave you a wrong patterns recognition. And hey maybe you can test your IQ in there and have some advice to get smarter.
Also, a friend of mine decided to come up with rebuttal
First of all, his murder of his sister was not an impulsive decision. The game doesn't indicate that Mari physically restrained him to stop him from running away. This means that instead of reacting like a realistic 12 yo child and running away to someplace safer - either his bedroom or the bathroom, which both were on the same floor they were having their argument on - Sunny consciously employed physical force.
Yes, but as we are both entitled to using non canon materials (the album captions are considered non-canon), I shall use mine:
youtube
This video: timestamp 0:35 Mari screams “Where do you think you’re going?”
Anyone with reasonable deductive skills can see what she means by this. The timeline was as follows:
Pre 0:35: Sunny attempts to get away. There would be no reason for him to pull his sister as he’s getting away, so there’s no contact, 0:35: Mari screams “Where do you think you’re going”, 0:37: Mari falls down the stairs.
Now in those 2 seconds, who is more likely to make first contact? The angry one or the one getting away.
Bingo.
Mari grabbed Sunny, closing the distance between them, and Sunny having a flight or fight response (normal for a human being, by the way) and shoving her off him, thus down the stairs.
Voila.
consistent pattern of being an ass.
Let me address each argument for you.
(Apparently) was aware of Aubrey's troubled situation at home, wasn't shown doing anything of note to help and/or support her
What can a ten to twelve year old do other than talk to their friend and make sure they’re okay? (Which Sunny did do a lot with Aubrey by the way, shown through the video montage of “Duet”).
Whined about having to help his friends build their treehouse
What twelve year old wouldn’t complain MENTALLY? It’s not being an ass, if he was, he would’ve outwardly said all those things. It’s just that mentally he doesn’t want to do it. But he does because he knows it's only fair to the others. That’s called respecting other people and compromising for them.
Threw a tantrum that resulted in the death of his sister because he couldn't watch cartoons for as long as he'd have liked
Once again, I am allowed to point at non canon as you have.
0:04: Sunny says “Gosh, you-”
0:05-0:014: Unintelligible
0:15: The violin crashes
Firstly, no one screams “Gosh, you-” without the other having not done anything.
Secondly: Do you really think Mari stayed silent for those 9 seconds of unintelligible noise?
Was throwing the violin down the stairs the best option? No. Do I think it was just caused because he didn’t get to watch cartoons? No. Mari obviously said something to provoke it.
Blamed Mari for the argument as if she forced him to practice even though he himself begged her to let him join her
Something tells me you don’t have younger siblings tbh. It’s very normal for kids to want something at first, but change their minds later after they realise the work that has to be put in. (E.g: Wanting to go to school when they’re younger but hating it as soon as they start) Also, you’re disregarding Sunny’s motive: He never wanted to do violin because he loved the violin. He just wanted to spend more time with Mari.
Also to address “ as if she forced him to practice “
You think a 15 year old whose parents booked a venue for their recital wouldn’t be pressured and in turn pressure their younger sibling into making it PERFECT? Just food for thought.
Chose to resolve his argument with Mari by violence even though he had the option to run away instead
Already addressed this :)
Was relieved that he got away with accidentally killing his sister
For someone who has a brain and must scream, it sure seems otherwise. Do read what it says. “For a moment, you feel at peace. You hate yourself for feeling this way.” He was relieved, sure. But he hated himself for that. Because he didn’t want to feel relief.
Chose to lie to his friends by omission and let them believe they had somehow failed Mari due of the assumed nature of her death as a suicide, irreversibly scarring them
Chose to let Basil take the fall for blacking out Mari's photos in the photo album, which entailed Basil becoming the target of Aubrey's bullying and wore Basil's mental health down to near-psychosis by the time of the game's events*
Half of the game is just showing the consequences to Sunny doing that though. It's portrayed as a bad thing. It’s also realistic to those experiencing PTSD or shock. I don’t want to make this too long (it’s already 800 ish words) so just read it here https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-2035596
Walked out on Basil - his best friend - when the latter had a mental breakdown despite Basil begging him to stay
Considered leaving Basil to his death as a legitimate option, twice
Seems to have been content with thinking of doing nice things for Basil (e.g. watering Basil's plants in his dream world) as opposed to actually trying to support him in the real world
Walked out on Hero after seeing him crying over the piano
Again, just read up on the link I sent earlier. Specifically avoidance. It’s not morally correct but that doesn’t mean it’s in his control either.
Wasn't shown to feel any guilt or shame from having a picnic with the people he lied to near his dead sister's grave
I don’t know if you’ve played the game, but you like to bring up “Sunny and the player aren’t separate” so… Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe the reason Sunny doesn’t show any guilt in-game is because he’s discovering the truth as much as we, the player are? Just food for thought
Twisted the supportive words of the people he lied to to alleviate his own self-loathing over committing manslaughter
This is just a wrong interpretation entirely lmfao. The battle against OMORI isn’t a battle against self loathing. It’s a battle against the denial that kept him from telling the truth to begin with. Sunny doesn’t kill himself in the bad ending because he hates himself. He kills himself in the bad ending because he wants to hide the truth and knows he can’t do it for much longer. Why do you think he doesn’t end up killing himself in a majority of the hikikomori routes even though OMORI has taken over?
Told his friends the truth shortly before having to move town, thus avoiding the direct consequences of his confession and leaving Basil behind again to face them alone
Not exactly his choice as I’ve said earlier.
Is only concerned with how his friends' pain affects himself at the end of the day
Can’t say much about it (I’m a little stupid and can’t be bothered to spend over an hour doing this) other than I wanna see an analysis of My Time next. Sure it's not made for the game, but it was chosen for a reason.
What Sunny did was the fault of an irrational mindset
What Sunny did was the fault of him being a child witnessing a traumatic incident being led by another child who witnessed the same incident and then the rest are just the effects of PTSD. A majority of the reason the incident took place the way it did can be explained by: Sunny’s in worse shock than Basil due to him having to process that he was the one who killed his sister, and Basil just wants to protect him. If anything, Basil's at fault.
”Lol I just got off the hook”
Lol I explained this already. You used the same point twice.
Sunny is forgivable because he was a child who was not in a good rational mindset and made an impulsive decision with much more dire consequences than anticipated
Jimmy is not forgivable because he was an adult who had to make several conscious decisions to do what he did and does nothing but repeat his horrible behaviour
Both games are about forgiveness but two completely different ends of that spectrum. Omori is about how forgiveness can be healing and help those recover, and mouthwashing is about how sometimes forgiveness does nothing but enable horrible people to continue their abusive behaviour
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Hey, can you write about landos gf breaking her arm and him taking care of her? like having to help her change and shower, doing her hair und stuff line that? thank you <3
In his care - LN4
*:・゚ Summary/request: request by anon as you can read above this!
*:・゚ Word count: 1562
masterlist / community / request
౨ৎ
Lando Norris had always been the playful, light-hearted boyfriend, the type to tease and make you laugh until your stomach hurt. But after three years together, there was a depth to your relationship that went beyond just the banter and the fun. He’d become your best friend, your confidant, and now, your caretaker.
You hadn’t expected to be in this position—broken arm in a sling, unable to do even the most basic things without help. It was a stupid accident, really. A slip, a fall, and now you were stuck in this uncomfortable, frustrating situation. But as it turned out, Lando was more than up for the challenge of taking care of you. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.
-
The first real test came on day one, when it was time for you to shower. Lando, always the playful one, had teased you when he realized you’d need help.
“So, I get to see you naked... and it’s for ‘medical reasons’? Lucky me,” he said with a wink, earning him an eye-roll from you.
“Lando,” you groaned, cheeks flushing. “This isn’t exactly a fun situation, you know.”
But even as you complained, you couldn’t help but laugh. He had a way of lightening even the most awkward moments. His teasing helped take your mind off the discomfort and frustration of not being able to do things on your own. Lando knew when to joke, and when to be serious.
“I’m kidding, love,” he said, his tone softening as he walked over to you. “I’ve got you, okay?”
And he did. Gently, he helped you undress, his fingers careful around your arm. There was something about the way he moved—confident yet delicate—that made you feel safe. Vulnerable, yes, but never embarrassed. He was Lando, your Lando, and there was no one else you trusted more.
Once you were under the warm spray of water, he joined you, shampooing your hair, his fingers massaging your scalp. It was a strange, intimate experience, but not in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. In fact, it was sweet.
“Maybe I should do this for you more often,” he murmured, lips close to your ear.
“You think I’ll let you wash my hair when I’m fully capable?” you shot back, a smile tugging at your lips.
He chuckled, his breath warm on your neck. “You never know, you might like the service.”
But as much as he teased, there was genuine care in the way he handled you. He washed every inch of your body with the gentleness you never knew he had. You leaned into him, resting your head on his chest for a moment, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath your ear.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“For what?” he asked softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“For being... you.”
-
You never realized how hard it was to do something as simple as put your hair in a ponytail with one hand. By the third day, you were ready to give up on the idea of leaving the house with your hair looking decent. But, of course, Lando wasn’t going to let that happen.
“Okay, I’m going to do it,” he said, determination in his voice as he picked up your hairbrush and an elastic.
You sat in front of him, trying to keep still while he struggled to gather your hair into something resembling a ponytail. The concentration on his face was adorable—his tongue poking out a little as he focused on the task at hand.
“Lando, it’s fine,” you said after the third attempt. “I can just wear it down.”
“No way,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m getting this right.”
It took another few tries, but eventually, he managed to pull your hair into a somewhat lopsided ponytail. He grinned proudly, admiring his work in the mirror behind you.
“Look at that! I’m a pro,” he said, obviously pleased with himself.
You laughed, reaching up with your good hand to touch the ponytail. It wasn’t perfect, but it was endearing in its imperfection.
“I love it,” you said sincerely.
He wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your good shoulder. “Told you I’d take care of you.”
“You’re doing a great job, babe.”
-
As the days went on, Lando had to help you with more than just your hair. Getting dressed with one hand was a nightmare, and you hated having to rely on him for something so simple. But Lando, being the cheeky guy he was, turned it into something fun.
“Alright, love, what’ll it be today?” he asked, holding up two of your shirts. “Sexy red or casual blue?”
You gave him a pointed look. “I’m not trying to impress anyone, Lando.”
He smirked, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “You’re always impressing me, though.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart fluttered at his words. He knew exactly how to make you feel special, even when you were at your most vulnerable.
“Blue,” you said with a sigh, and he grinned.
Helping you get dressed was, of course, another challenge. He was gentle but still fumbled a bit, trying not to hurt your arm as he guided it through the sleeve.
“Sorry, sorry!” he muttered as he accidentally tugged too hard on your sling.
You laughed through the discomfort. “You’re not great at this, huh?”
“Hey! I’m doing my best here,” he protested, but there was no real frustration in his voice. He was patient with you, and that was what mattered.
Once you were dressed, he stepped back to admire his work.
“Not bad, huh?” he said, a proud smile on his face.
“Not bad at all,” you agreed, and he leaned down to kiss you softly.
-
By the end of the week, you were starting to feel a little more like yourself, but the pain in your arm was still a constant reminder of your injury. Lando, ever the attentive boyfriend, noticed when you were getting frustrated or tired, and he was always there to offer comfort.
That evening, you were lying on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, when Lando plopped down beside you. Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, careful of your injured arm, and snuggled up close.
“You doing okay?” he asked, his voice soft in your ear.
“Yeah,” you sighed. “Just... tired of this.”
“I know,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But you’re doing great. And I’m here, okay? For as long as you need me.”
You smiled, leaning into him. His warmth, his presence—it was everything you needed. You didn’t have to ask for his help; he just gave it freely, without hesitation.
As you lay there together, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on your back, you realized how lucky you were. Not just because he was helping you through this injury, but because he was Lando. The man who loved you unconditionally, who saw you at your weakest and still made you feel strong.
“Love you,” you whispered, closing your eyes.
“Love you more,” he replied softly, and you could hear the smile in his voice.
And in that moment, broken arm and all, you felt more loved than ever.
-
As your arm started to heal, you began to regain some independence, but that didn’t stop Lando from taking every opportunity to tease you. He seemed to enjoy his new role as caretaker a little too much, and he never missed a chance to flirt.
One afternoon, you were sitting at the kitchen table, trying to cut up some fruit with your good hand. Lando walked in, immediately taking the knife from you.
“Let me help,” he said, leaning in close.
“I can do it,” you protested, though you didn’t exactly mind when he was this close to you.
He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yeah, but I do it better, don’t I?”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at your lips. He knew exactly how to get under your skin, but in the best way.
As he cut up the fruit, he stole glances at you, his smile never fading. “You know,” he said casually, “taking care of you has been... kind of fun.”
“Oh, has it now?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he said, sliding a piece of fruit toward you. “I mean, I get to spend all this extra time with you, take care of you, shower with you...”
“Lando!” you laughed, swatting at him with your good hand.
He chuckled, leaning down to kiss you. “I’m just saying, maybe I should be your personal nurse more often.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, but your heart swelled with love for him.
“I know,” he replied, his voice soft as he looked into your eyes. “But you love me for it.”
And he was right.
౨ৎ
*:・゚ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know! Also hey anon! If you read this, I hope that this is what you had in mind!
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1#formula one x reader#formula one x you#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#lando x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x reader#lando norris fic#lando imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 fluff#f1 x y/n#f1#f1 2024#formula one#formula racing#taking care#lando norizz#fanfic
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hiii 😭 I REALLY LOVE UR GOJO X YN SO MUCHHH 😔😔 I was also wondering like maybe what if y/n has a wound, like any where 🥲 it could be either on her back, arms, legs but she doesn't wanna tell gojo abt it and she hides it, then he will find out about it either she winces when gojo hugs her, starts wearing long sleeved clothes or her shirt lifts up while sleeping 🤧 TYSMM❤❤
strain — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: I am honored that you like my works, love! hope you enjoy this as well 🫶💕🫶 also happy birthday to the man, the myth, the legend: gojo satoru!! (it’s still his birthday in my country so hush I am not late)
you are more than a capable sorcerer. in fact, you are one of the strongest in the field.
however, like anyone else, there are some moments where things get a little out of hand, and you come back bearing a rather long slash on your left arm.
but since it’s pretty late, you decided you will bother shoko about it in the morning. that is how you’re finally in your home, with satoru nowhere to be found.
you frown lightly at the fact that he is still out there fighting curses, but a part of you feels relieved that you don’t have to explain your situation right now.
the night should pass by smoothly, and you will go to shoko tomorrow: a fool-proof plan!
so you do what you can to sanitize the wound, and cover it until you can get it treated properly. you also take the chance to indulge in your favorite snack as a good job treat.
after finishing your food and tidying up for the day, you’re finally in bed, all-cozied up and avoiding anything touching your wound as much as possible.
a deep breathe in, a deep breathe out, and you slowly drift to sleep.
not much time passes before satoru’s familiar footsteps echo throughout the house.
your husband has an abundance of energy.
but it seemed like today’s missions have drained him a bit more than normal, so he skips eating anything and heads straight to your shared bedroom.
his heart softens, and his muscles relax upon the sight of you tucked in bed. he walks to press a small kiss on your forehead, quickly changing into his pajamas and settling right by your side.
he stretches a bit and turns to spoon you as per usual, eyes closing in contentment.
but you wince, even if adeptly, and it sends alarms ringing through his head.
he jerks up, and his hand is instantly placed on your arm again, softly. there is an ever so faint change in your expression as your eyebrows furrow, and he has never pulled his hand away so fast.
he keeps debating in his head whether to wake you up or not, but he swiftly settles for the former.
he needs to know what happened. so he, regrettably, nudges your sleepy form, “y/n?”
you groan, but, nonetheless, you reply, “…what?”
while satoru often likes to base theatrics around his every move and phrase, but he also knows when to get straight to the point, “did you get hurt on today’s mission?”
you’re no longer half-asleep, and you quickly sit up, eyeing your husband. knowing there is no escape nor denial, you fidget with your fingers and nod slowly.
then you hurriedly utter, “but I was going to see shoko first thing in the morning; I promise!”
he nods slowly, holding your hands in his own. you’re left to look him in the eyes. satoru’s eyes being exposed makes him feel so vulnerable, or at least that’s how he is with you.
you can see every wrinkle, and every crease; you can see what he is thinking about in real time. he has long given up hiding anything from you, and, besides, it feels fresh to just let go.
but right now, as you look into his eyes, you see them swarming with confliction, pain, and worry.
he doesn’t scold you about not going right now because he knows that you will tell him that you either thought it wasn’t a big deal or that you didn’t want to bother shoko with it.
instead, he settles on a hushed whisper of “can I see it?”
you throw him a confused look, “why? I am getting it treated tomorrow anyway,” then you smile, “it’s not going to permanent if that’s what you’re worried about.”
he shakes his head, “it’s not that; I just—“ he takes a deep breath then looks at you pleadingly, “just let me see it.”
perhaps it’s to silence his thoughts and to show him that you’re truly okay, as okay as you can be.
you’re still alive, and that’s what matters, he thinks. nevertheless, he feels the need to see just how serious is the wound anyway.
reluctantly, you slowly take off your jacket to reveal the poorly bandaged gash on your arm.
he looks up at you, asking for permission because even if he needs to see it for his own selfish reasons, he has to put you above anything and everything else.
you nod, giving the free reign to slowly take off the bandages. you can barely hold back any pained noises, but you can’t help the wincing of your body.
satoru’s frown deepens, and with every move, your husband’s heart aches. it goes like that until the wound is finally unveiled.
you feel satoru observing the cut so intently that you look away. satoru curses everything that he can think of, and never has we wanted the ability to heal others more than right now.
he straightens his back, “that’s a deep cut, y’know.”
“I know…”
“you also realize that the wound could’ve hit your chest and inevitably heart, right?”
you huff, “listen, if you’re going to give me a lecture or keep making me feel bad about it then I will have you know—“
“you could’ve died.”
you notice the strain in his voice, so you turn to finally look eyes with him. he looks pained, so hurt, maybe even terrified at the fact that there was a chance that he could’ve lost you.
your expression immediately becomes that of sympathy, “but I didn’t, and dwelling on the fact that I might’ve died will only bother you for no reason,” you hold his hand, “I am here and alive, aren’t I?”
your husband sighs, resting his head on your right shoulder, “you’re hurting my poor little heart whenever you put yourself in danger like that.”
a giggle escapes your lips, and your hands naturally find their way in his hair, fingers gently carding through, “whatever shall we do.”
“if things went my way then you would just stay home looking all pretty like you always do,” he states, and you roll your eyes.
“well, they’re going my way tonight, so—“ the clock strikes twelve, “happy birthday, silly boy.”
his eyes widen and he pulls away to look you in the face. he blinks dumbly then looks at what’s in your hands: a cupcake with a candle.
a wide grin of unbridled joy appears on your husband’s face. his eyes shimmer in the moonlight as he laughs, “I really didn’t expect it this time!”
“you outdid yourself, pretty girl,” he hums, hand caressing your cheek.
“I still have a lot more things for you,” you beam with pride. satoru can’t contain himself anymore, and he pulls you into a loving embrace.
“I love you so much,” he murmurs beside your ear, pressing a light kiss to the side of your neck.
you pat his back, “I love you too, ‘toru,” you laugh, “but you’re pressing on my wound, and I think I am just going to cry and not because of overwhelming love.”
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— STILL PURE
PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — Feyd yells at his daughter for interrupting him at work. His wife confronts him about his behaviour as she tries to explain to the little Countess that her father was never taught how to express love.
REQUEST — (1)
AUTHOR’S NOTE — Feyd is already the Baron in this fic but I assumed women cannot inherit on Giedi Prime so the daughter is "only" a Countess while her younger brother is a Na-Baron. I used my headcanon that if half-Harkonnen children have hair, then they're white because they lack pigment. I also wanted her to have big black Harkonnen eyes so badly... Basically, I wanted Feyd's daughter to look like this:
WORD COUNT — 2,990
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
STILL PURE
Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was circling around the big table in the conference room where the huge orb of Giedi Prime had been replaced with Arrakis’ one as one of his advisors was explaining the difficult situation regarding the spice production. The new wave of Fremen rebels who worshipped the long gone and deceased Muad’Dib decided to continue their idol’s legacy as they sabotaged the spice production controlled by The Harkonnen forces. The Governor of Arrakis was slowly losing control over the situation and Feyd would rather avoid going there himself. He was needed on Giedi Prime – especially now when The Emperor was on his deathbed. He had to be around in case something important would happen and everyone knew The Baron had his eyes set on the Imperial Throne. Feyd had to choose a new Governor of Arrakis or provide the current one with good advice, hoping for the Fremen problem to disappear soon. It was worrying him because it was giving him a bad reputation at the moment for having problems on Arrakis – it could make some leaders of the great houses to think he was not worthy enough to become the next Emperor.
Feyd’s hands were clasped behind his back as he circled like a shark and all his advisors looked down, taking a step back whenever he approached them. They knew his temper would only rise when he was angered whenever he would experience problems of such nature when it came to reigning over The Harkonnen properties.
“What does the Fremen leader say? Stilgar? That was his name?” Feyd barked at one of the scared advisors.
“Stilgar says he has no control over the cultists. He does not support their actions. He wants nothing but peace, my Lord,” the man bowed his head.
“How bad is it? The most important thing so far is to keep the problem on Arrakis a secret,” Feyd hummed to himself.
“Five percent of the decrease in the spice production income,” the other advisor answered. “Not bad, but can be noticeable in the amount we export.”
“We shall export some of our own private reserves to cover the loss. In the meantime, we have to deal with the cultists,” Feyd decided, already annoyed at the fact he had to sacrifice his own supplies just to cover up the careless governing of Arrakis which was not his fault. “Send more troops there, the operation should be classified confidential. Threaten Lord Volonov to take care of it. He’s got a month before I replace him with someone more capable…”
Quiet pat pat pat sound coming from the corridor was becoming louder and louder until the black doors finally opened slightly and the guard standing by them spotted a pair of two big black eyes staring up at him.
“My Lord,” he tried to catch The Baron’s attention but Feyd had his back turned on him as he angrily explained the details of the operation to his advisors.
Little Countess Sevina Harkonnen gave the guard puppy eyes as she struggled with the heavy doors. She wanted to come inside and he didn’t know what to do. He was aware that his Lord Baron did not want to be interrupted but he didn’t want to close the door in the girl’s face either. He peeked outside but there was no servant around and The Baroness was not there either. He decided it would be better for the girl to come inside instead of letting her roam around the fortress alone.
She smiled widely at him and jumped inside the room happily as her white hair bounced. She was lucky enough to inherit most of her mother’s looks although her skin was paler, her hair lacked pigment and her pupils were nothing but two completely big black orbs – those were the eyes even her father did not have but they were a result of the pollution her mother’s body had been exposed to on Giedi Prime at the time of her pregnancy.
Not realising how tense the atmosphere in the room was, she approached her father as all the advisors and servants were making wide eyes at her. She stood behind The Baron and pulled on his shirt to make him turn around.
At first, he flinched at the odd feeling of someone pulling him. Who would dare to do that? He turned around quickly with an angry expression on his face but then he looked down and spotted his little daughter. She startled a bit at the sight of his annoyance but she kept staring at him with her big black eyes filled with love and excitement.
“What are you doing here?” Feyd barked at her.
“Can you play with me, daddy?” She pleaded with a big grin.
A few lords smirked at that and Feyd’s jaw clenched. Not only had she interrupted him but also humiliated him.
“Can’t you fucking see that I’m busy?!” He lashed out at her and she took a step back as her eyes filled with tears and betrayal. “Get out of here!” He pointed at the doors.
They opened at that very moment as the nanny entered the room and looked around, surprised at the sight of scared faces and the little Countess being in the centre of attention.
“There you are!” She opened her arms at the sight of the girl. “I’ve told you not to interrupt your father, he’s in the middle of a meeting,” she reminded nervously as the girl ran up to her and hid her face in the folds of her skirt. “Forgive me, my Lord,” the nanny bowed her head at Feyd-Rautha.
“You’re useless,” he drawled. “Get out.”
“Y-yes, my Lord,” the woman held Sevina’s hand and walked out as quickly as possible.
You left the nursery where your son na-baron had just fallen asleep. On your way back to your chambers, you passed by the doors leading to your daughter’s room and you froze at the muffled sound of sobbing. Concerned, you decided to enter without knocking.
Little Sevina was crying on her bed as the scared nanny tried to calm her down by rubbing her back and shushing her.
“What is going on?” You asked as the doors closed behind you.
“M-my Lady Baroness,” the nanny stood up and straightened herself to bow down slightly.
“What happened? Why is she crying?” You asked her in an accusing tone.
“I… I lost her out of my sight when we were playing earlier today, I’m sorry… I found the young Countess in her father’s conference room. She had interrupted The Baron during a council… I think he lashed out at her, my Lady…” the woman tried to explain nervously as her hands shook.
“You’re useless,” you sighed and she widened her eyes. “Get out, I’ll deal with that myself,” you pointed at the doors and she bowed down once again before leaving quickly.
You approached the bed and sat on the edge of it as Sevina raised her head to look at you. Your heart squeezed in your chest at the sight of her cheeks covered in tears.
“What happened, sweet darling?” You asked her gently while you caressed her back.
“Why doesn’t daddy love me?” She asked with so much pain and sincerity in her tiny, shaky voice that you nearly cried yourself.
You knew it wasn’t true. Feyd-Rautha loved his daughter. Even though he had been a bit disappointed she was not a son in the beginning – he had only said not to worry about it much; that the boy would come next. He had been treating Sevina as if she was made of glass in the first months of her life, so scared of accidentally hurting her because hurt was all he knew.
“Oh, Sevina, don’t think that…” You sighed and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Daddy loves you so much,” you assured her but of course she wasn’t convinced. “He would kill and die for you, little girl,” you added.
“I don’t want him to kill and die for me, mummy,” Sevina sobbed as those were the concepts she was too young to grasp. “I just want daddy to play with me.”
“He doesn’t know how to play, Sevina,” you fixed her ruffled hair while trying to explain calmly. “He didn’t have a mummy or daddy when he was your age. The way I kiss you or hug you and play with you… He has never had it, darling,” you felt a few tears streaming down your cheeks. You were angry at your husband for yelling at your daughter and making her feel unloved but you were also angry at all the suffering that he had gone through in his past.
There were scars and damages that could never be undone, no matter how much you loved someone.
“And you’re big enough to know that daddy shouldn’t be interrupted when he’s working. You know that he tends to get angry more easily then,” you reminded her. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“I wanted daddy to play with me,” she snuggled closer to you and you kissed the top of her head, rubbing her tiny arms with your thumbs and cradling her softly to calm her down.
Feyd had been back in your chambers already when you entered. You froze at the sight of him, irritated. However, he seemed to act as usual.
“Five percent,” he snapped at you, although not angrily. “We will have to replace the loss with our own supply so the other lords don’t realise we are expecting problems on Arrakis. That stupid son of a bitch Volonov can’t handle a few cultists and…”
“I don’t care about any of that,” you interrupted him and turned your back on him to approach your vanity table and sit by it, pretending to be more interested in reapplying the powder.
“What?” Feyd was visibly surprised as he watched you in disbelief. You had always been a support for him, especially in difficult times. You both had been plotting on how to take over the Imperial Throne and now you weren’t interested in something as important as the problems with harvesting spice on Arrakis? It didn’t make sense to him.
You ignored him and focused on brushing your hair now, watching him from the corner of your eye in the reflection of the mirror of your vanity table. He approached you, hesitantly.
“What do you mean you’re not interested?” He tilted his head as he leaned in, trying to intimidate you but you didn’t even flinch.
“I’ve just spent an hour calming down Sevina. You yelled at her,” you eventually looked up to look deep into his eyes. He took a deep breath in, irritated.
“She should have learnt by now not to interrupt me,” Feyd straightened his back and walked away. “She’s spoiled,” he added. “Knows nothing about discipline. It’s your fault.”
“She’s a little girl,” you turned around. “You can’t expect military habits from her. She’s your daughter, Feyd.”
“She’s lucky I only yelled. If I interrupted my uncle as a child like that, I’d be punished!” He raised his voice at you, frustrated that you were defending your daughter and making a problem out of something that he considered to be normal.
You hated it when he would raise his voice at you. You stood up angrily and yelled as well.
“Oh, so you think she should be raised the same way you were?!” You asked. “Alright then! Go to her room, grab her by the neck and flog her back with a whip just because she wanted to play with her father!” You pointed at the doors furiously as your eyes were burning with wrath. “Go on! I dare you.”
But Feyd didn’t even move. His jaw was clenched as he was staring at you speechlessly.
“Go. What are you waiting for?” You kept pushing him. “Go on.”
You kept looking into his eyes with so much intensity he eventually gave up and looked down, awkwardly as the guilt started to creep in. You won.
“You rejected her. She thinks you don’t love her,” your voice calmed down but it was still vicious. “And I was assuring her that you do but it felt as if I was assuring myself, too,” you added, just to hurt him. “I can’t stand to look at you, Feyd-Rautha,” you drawled and approached the doors to leave him alone but not without striking the final blow. “I can’t believe I wanted to give you children so badly,” you turned your head to look at him as he looked up, surprised at your words, “because you don’t deserve them.”
The doors opened in front of you and you walked out to go back to your daughter.
You were sitting on the black fluffy carpet in the middle of Sevina’s room. She was on your lap, with her tiny arms around your neck, cuddling you. There were toys scattered all around the floor but she wanted to take a break for the loving cuddles. She was very unusual for a half-Harkonnen and you were very aware of the fact she was making most people around feel uncomfortable.
Not only her father but everyone in the fortress were stiff around sweet little Sevina who was so full of life and curiosity, always wanting to hug everyone – even servants and guards. Wherever she went, there was a sound of laughter and a sudden feeling of warmth. Countess Sevina Harkonnen was the very first little girl living in that fortress in a long time and she was so different from all its inhabitants. She was too young to know that she was a daughter of Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen – a man feared all over the Empire. That her bloodline was cursed with death and violence. She was still pure and innocent. Perhaps she was a living proof that The Harkonnens were not born this way after all – but they were made in the endless cycle of abusive upbringing. You did not want the same fate for her. You knew she would have to get rougher with time but you hoped she would still remain gentle, too.
The doors to her room opened and you looked up. At the sight of your husband, you protectively put your arm around your little girl. You doubted that he wanted to do what you had angrily suggested before but you wanted to make sure he wouldn’t anyway. Sevina stiffened at the sight of her father and clung to you. It brought you pain to realise that at that very moment she was afraid of him.
“Sevina, we have to talk,” Feyd stood above you two as he started in a serious tone. You gave him a scolding look and your little girl hid her face in the crook of your neck, hiding. “You know perfectly well not to interrupt me while I’m working.”
Long silence occurred. You could see Feyd’s struggle as he had no idea what to do to fix this situation between him and his daughter.
“Sevina, apologise to daddy,” you looked down and she looked up with tears in her big black eyes. “You shouldn’t have interrupted him and you know that, darling,” your voice was soft and calm and she sniffed.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” Sevina turned her body around to face him but she refused to look at him.
“Now, you apologise to Sevina for being mean,” you looked up at your husband and you spotted panic in his eyes. “Now,” you insisted sternly.
“I’m sorry for being mean to you,” Feyd crouched down to be on her level. She hesitantly looked at him. “Can I get a hug, too?” He asked and his voice broke a tiny bit.
Slitting someone’s throat open was less awkward and unusual to him than to ask for a hug. Your heart ached for him but you were an adult capable of understanding his patterns. Sevina was not.
Her heart was big, though, and she loved her father, so she would forgive him everything. She nodded her head with a happy smile and ran into his arms to squeeze him tight. Tears pricked your eyes at the sight.
“I love you, darling,” Feyd whispered quietly with his cheek pressed to the top of her head. “I would kill for you. I would die for you,” he confessed.
“But she doesn’t want any of that,” you explained. “She just wants you to spend time with her.”
“Is that right?” He looked down at his little girl and she looked up with her puppy eyes as she nodded. Her tiny hands reached out to cup his face.
“I love you, daddy,” she assured him. “Can you play with me?”
“I don’t know how to play, I’m sorry,” he admitted with guilt in his voice.
“I will teach you,” she hugged him again.
Feyd put his arms around his little girl and pulled her closer. You crawled on the carpet to give him a hug, too. You could feel that he was slightly trembling, so you leaned in to place a kiss on his temple as your hand caressed his head soothingly.
“It’s not weak to show affection,” you reminded him in a whisper. “I’ve never loved you more than when you are like this.”
Feyd laid his eyes on you. They were filled with a mix of pain, guilt and relief. At the end of the day, the only approval he was seeking was yours. You had him wrapped around your little finger.
“So, how do you want to play?” He asked Sevina as he caressed her white hair with admiration. She clapped her hands cheerfully.
“I want to be a Princess,” her eyes sparkled. “And you’ll be my guard.”
Feyd chuckled at that, showing off his black teeth. Sevina giggled as she had never found them scary.
“Soon enough, my darling one, you’ll be a real Princess,” he assured her.
MASTERLIST
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God i want a dark!dr.kry fic soo bad. I read your most recent silas fic and I thought it was so good i ATE IT UP
Things you shouldn't see
Doctor!yandere x reader Summary: you've finally realized what type of man Dr Kry is, and what he is capable of doing. Warnings: murder, bruises, yandere, poison etc. Word count: 2.3k
Your crying hurts him, it really does, but he can’t be soft. Not now. You had tried to escape again. If he hadn’t come back in time to catch you in the door, God knows what could have happened to you.
“Please, please don’t”, you sob as he cuffs your wrists to the bed’s railing with belt-looking leather. “Please, I’m sorry.”
“Spare your voice, Y/N”, he tells you sharply. “Begging and pleading won’t work — you're not a child. You put yourself in this situation, didn’t you? How about we take some adult consequences?” He fixes the last buckle. “Too tight?”
You don't answer, you only cry. Dr Kry grabs your chin softly to direct your attention back to him.
“Y/N, listen to me”, he says sternly. “Are the restraints too tight? Yes or no? Don’t lie.”
“No”, you sob.
“Good. You know why I’m doing this, right? I don’t think it’s funny.”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“Stop with the bullshit, Y/N. I caught you in the damn door, Y/N.” He sighs frustratedly and runs a hand through his blonde hair. “I can’t let this slip. You almost escaped from me once, remember? I’m not letting that happen again. I’m going to go get you dinner and you are going to get yourself together until I’m back, okay?”
You nod slightly. When he's exited the room, you break out into sobs again. Have to get them out of your system before he returns. You hate him. Hate him so much.
He's back ten minutes later with two cardboard boxes filled with food. He looks somewhat pleased that you're not crying anymore. He stands by his desk.
“You don't understand that I want what's best for you”, Dr Kry says while opening the plastic lids. “If you did, you wouldn't try to do stupid stuff like this.”
“Turn it off”, you say through gritted teeth.
He glances at the air purifier, already knowing what you’re talking about.
“No, I will not”, he says simply.
“You're killing me!”
Dr Kry scoffs and dumps your foodbox on your legs.
“If I wanted you dead, Y/N, you'd already be in the mortuary”, he says and rolls over to you on his stool. “But as you can tell by your current status in your room, I don't.”
He picks up the fork and holds a bite of potato to your lips. You refuse to open your mouth.
“Are we doing this?” he asks with raised eyebrows. “Do I need to be mean?”
“Please don’t”, you whisper, scared.
“You don’t want me to be mean?”
You shake your head quickly.
“Good, me neither”, Dr Kry says. “Glad that we can agree on something. Open your mouth now.”
You open your mouth enough for him to put in the fork in your mouth. Dr Kry notices how you fight back the tears and sighs in defeat.
“If you really want to cry, then do it”, he says quietly.
It’s a trick. He actually doesn’t want you to cry, and you know that. But the tear that runs down your cheek can’t be brought back. You flinch when his hand brushes against your cheek to wipe it softly. He holds another fork of potato and meat to your mouth. You grimace slightly.
“Just eat and you’ll get to sleep”, Dr Kry promises you.
“Turn it off”, you whisper. “Please.”
Dr Kry sighs and walks over to the air purifier, turning it off. The soft buzzing finally, finally stopped. Dr Kry can tell that you relax in your restraints.
“Thank you”, you whisper without looking at him.
“I’ll have to turn it on again”, he says.
“Why?”
“Because it keeps you where I want you. It’s much easier than keeping you cuffed to the bed like this.”
You tug at the restraints, as if you suddenly remember that you’re wearing them. Dr Kry’s hand shoots out over your right wrist.
“Stop”, he says. “Don’t do that. I don’t like to see bruises on you. Just let it be. Give in, alright?”
You glance down at his large hand and grow cold. Could he break your wrist? Could he actually hurt you if he really wanted to? Without tools, without medicine and drugs?
“Open your mouth”, Dr Kry and removes his hand to give you the fork full of food.
This time, you open your mouth without fuss. He smiles, pleased.
“Have I fucked up for myself now?” you mumble without looking at him.
“Just a tad bit”, Dr Kry smiles and wipes some sauce of your lips with his thumb. “But it's nothing that we can't restore.”
She had seen it, and although she tried to convince herself that she was overthinking, she couldn't bring herself to admit that everything was okay with Dr Kry’s patient — or Dr Kry for that matter. There has always been something with him that has rubbed her the wrong way. He's always been polite and helpful, but she thinks that it's a facade. There is something he's hiding, she can tell that there's a certain darkness in his eyes. And the fact that they never see, hear or get any reports about his patient — despite being here for so long — worries her.
One day, she decides to sneak inside. You’re lying in the hospital bed, sleeping soundly. But other than that, the room is empty. The woman notices how your wrists are … cuffed to the side of the bed. She sneaks over to you and carefully shakes your shoulder. You open your eyes slowly, and then dart them open. In pure fear, you start to tug at the restraints.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” the woman shrieks. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”
“Who are you?!” you gasp. “Where’s Dr Kry?!”
“I don’t know, please be quiet, I’m not going to hurt you.”
You eventually start to calm down.
“Why are you cuffed to the bed?” the woman asks carefully, feeling a shiver run down her spine. “What has he done to you?”
“Please help me”, you beg.
“I saw that you tried to leave the room before … and that he snatched you back.”
“I-I will.”
“Please help me, I’m begging you, he’s killing me!” you nod at the air purifier. “He’s poisoned it! You have to help me!”
She is just about to unbuckle the leather strands keeping you to the bed when the door opens. You meet eyes with Dr Kry and feel how your entire body goes numb.
Shit.
His eyes glare at the woman as he slowly closes the door behind him, locking it shut.
“Can I help you?” he asks coldly. “What are you doing with my patient?”
The woman spins around and stutters in fear.
“Who allowed you to come in here?” Dr Kry asks, sounding suspicious — and extremely angry, although he tries to hide it. “Speak up!”
“I-I …”, the woman stutters.
Dr Kry walks closer. You’ve never seen his body language this … territorial before. It’s almost animalistic.
“What have they told you?” he asks the woman.
“Nothing!” the woman shrieks.
With one quick glance at you, he scoffs with a small, cold smile on his face.
“I wouldn’t believe anything they say, ma’am”, he says amusedly, although you’re sure that he’s angry like a bee. “They’re sick, they’re not thinking clearly. Seems like we have to talk after this.”
“Don’t be angry at them”, the woman says, finally collecting herself. “You are the one abusing your position. You should be the one who’s getting yelled at!”
“Oh, I’m not mad at my patient. How could I? If they don’t know what’s good for themselves, how could I ever expect them to know when to speak …” He gave you a warning look, “... and when to shut up?” He looked back at the woman. “They’re sick, after all.”
“Why are you keeping them prisoner?”
Dr Kry puts his hands into his pockets, shrugging. “I’m not keeping anyone prisoner. Did they tell you that?”
“You’ve poisoned the air purifier.”
“Why would I ever do that?” he laughs. “That’s absurd! You don’t think I have other things to do? A real job?” He takes a step closer. He’s almost reaching her by now. “Listen, my patient has been reading a lot of fantasy stories while being emitted here, and they must have spun their head out of control. Being in a hospital for as long as they have, all alone, must mess with ones head a bit. Don’t worry about it.”
He has slammed it over the nurse’s head, striking her to the floor. You fight against the restraints, but they’re as stuck as stone. Dr Kry continues to hit the poor nurse with the metal pipe, causing blood to splatter over the walls — and you. You can’t breathe when the red liquid lands on your face, too horrified to even move. The screams from the woman turns into moans of pain, then sobs, then silence. Dr Kry huffs and gets up from the ground, letting go of the metal pipe that clinks against the floor. His white coat and blue overalls are drenched in blood, and his face is covered in red. You’re shivering in your bed and meet his eyes with wide open eyes.
Dr Kry walks over to his desk. You can tell how he picks up a metal pipe used for the IV-stand you use every now and then.
“No!” you scream, but it’s too late.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t want you to see that”, he pants lowly.
Sobs start to exit your body. Dr Kry hurries over to you, sinking down on his knees by the bed, almost lying his upper body into yours.
“I’m sorry, little one”, he whispers and cups your cheeks.
“Don’t touch me!” you try to scream while doing your best to turn your head away, but his strong grip is forcing you to stay still, forces you to look at him.
“I didn’t want you to see that”, he repeats. “Why did she have to come and but into our business, hm? Oh, please don’t blame yourself for her death. It’s not your fault.”
He notices how you’re trying to rip your head away from him.
“I know that you’re afraid”, he says. “It was not your fault, okay? I don’t blame you, I could never blame you, you know that.” He wipes your tears. “Please, don’t cry. I’m not going to do it again.”
You’re unsure if you’ve ever sobbed this harshly before in your life. The cries ripple through your body, forcing your chest to lift with every sob. It hurts, like an unwelcomed workout. Dr Kry holds your face against his chest, hushing as he hugs your head close to him. You can feel how fast his heart is beating, and it makes you nauseous.
“Let’s get you cleaned up”, Dr Kry says and unbuckles you.
You hesitate getting out of bed, glancing careful down at the dead body bleeding out on the floor. Dr Kry hurries to pick you up in his arms and walk into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him and places you down in the tub. Carefully, he removes your hospital gown and turns on the shower. You refuse to look his way.
“Listen, Y/N”, he says and sinks down outside the tub. “There are things you shouldn’t see … and this was one of them. I don’t want you to think of me as a monster. I’m a realist, okay?”
“Is that what you’re going to do to me if I try to leave again?” you cry.
“No! Don’t even say such nonsense. That’s absurd. How could you ever think that?”
You find it ironic that he grows offended. He starts to wash off the blood from your face with the gentle stream of the shower.
He takes one of your wrists in hand and lets his thumb run over the deep mark from the leather.
“I told you not to fight against it”, he whispers with a sigh. “We’ll have to put bandage on that.”
Dr Kry continues to wash the blood off of you and his own hands. You follow the red water down the drain.
He puts the shower head back on the hanger and tells you to wait there until he comes back. You hug your knees close to your chest and watch how he disappears out of the bathroom. You can hear how he starts to clean up the body outside the closed door. This is what happens to the people who believe you. Those that trust Dr Kry’s words about you being too sick to function, and start to hallucinate, are no help … but those that are never get far enough.
You shiver from cold air hitting your wet, naked body and bring your knees even closer to you. There’s a new form of silence in the room, a silence that eats you up from the inside … and yet, silence had never been this loud before. You would be able to hear a needle drop to the floor on the other side of the hospital.
It had taken wells to gather the courage to try to run away again, and it had been shattered in the moment of two seconds. Your hope had been sparked again when you saw the nurse, and knew that she was one of the few that actually believed you.
You turn your face down into your knees and cry in realization that you’ll never get to leave the hospital as long as Dr Kry is around. In time, the poisoned air purifier will have killed you … but you’re unsure that you’ll get to leave the hospital even then.
I’m going to die.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabbles#yandere oc x you#yandere mafia#yandere fics#yandere oc x reader#yandere stories#yandere female#female yandere
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Any thoughts on Mafia bucky and Steve? Love ur works!!
I thought I didn't really have any thoughts other than that I pretty much am always weak for them.
But then I got struck with this idea about an hour ago, and the muse BOLTED with it...
Title: Little Lark Characters/Pairings: Mafia!Bucky x Millennial Female!Reader x Mafia!Steve Word Count: 950 Summary: You were already in a dangerous situation, but one meeting may drive you into far deeper waters than you're ready to swim in.
Content/Warnings: non-con, non-main character death, vaginal fingering, non-explicit PIV and oral (male receiving), use of pet name (little lark), mild degradation, implied praise kink, dacryphilia
Author Notes: Catching up on week seven of @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer - using the COLLARS prompt - and filling my November box for Build-a-Bucky Bingo with OBJECTIFICATION.
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
You flinched at sound of the gunshot and looked away.
Somehow you didn’t think they would do it, but they did.
You didn’t need to look to know your boss was dead.
You would be relieved, finally free from the debts and blackmail that had held you captive to work for him and keep your family safe, but you didn’t know if you would truly fare any better with the men in front of you now.
Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers had come from Brooklyn to Atlanta to make a deal with your boss only to find out he had tried to cross the two men before they’d even sat down to negotiations.
“You have a choice to make,” Steve said.
Hesitantly, you turned your head back to look at the most handsome and intimidating men you had ever seen – it would be your opinion even if you didn’t know the things you already did about how dangerous they were, and you were sure you didn’t know even half of what they had done or what they were capable of.
Steve unlocked and flipped open the briefcase he’d brought in for the meeting, then turned it to face you. “You’ll walk out of here wearing one or the other, but it’s up to you.”
You frowned, looking at a leather collar on the left and a silver chain with a stunning sapphire pendant. Then you looked back up at the men.
The choice seemed too obvious.
“What’s the catch?” you asked.
“No catch. Your ours now, but you can pick what that looks like,” Bucky explained.
“I’m not–” you tried to protest, but Bucky cut you off.
“Unlike your idiot boss, we thoroughly did our homework before this meeting. We know you only worked for him to keep your family alive.”
“So, let me go! The debts owed were to him, not to you!”
Steve smiled, but it was cold, calculating. “But we don’t want to. Why would we squander a pretty little asset like you?”
Your chest tightened and you could feel angry tears welling up. “It wasn’t like that! I was only his assistant!”
“The only decent thing about him was that he never cheated on his wife,” Bucky admitted, “but his intentions for you were never innocent. You were on the list of things that could be part of our potential deal.”
An object, not a person. There was a sudden pit in your stomach now, too, but you tried not to react in any other way.
“Neither of us need an assistant, but we have other needs we think you’re well-suited for,” Steve took over explaining the situation, and made no attempt to hide the way his eyes roamed your form.
“Again, your choice,” Bucky said, “or we choose for you. You can be either our whore or our companion.”
You were quiet for another moment, then you dropped your eyes and softly murmured, “Necklace.”
The modicum of dignity would be minimal, but maybe you would be afforded at least some semblance of humanity as a companion.
Bucky took the necklace from its velvet case and strode around the desk and the dead body on the floor. He motioned for you to stand so he could put it around your neck. As he fastened it, you couldn’t help but notice the sound and feel as there was twisting and then a click.
The chain fastened with a permanent lock.
“Aw, our little lark is trembling,” Bucky cooed, tracing his fingers along the side of your neck.
“In fear or anger?” Steve asked.
You looked at him sharply.
He smirked. “So, it’s both. Good.”
Bucky didn’t move away from behind you, and his hands reached to tug your skirt quickly up around your hips. You yelped in protest when he pushed his hard bulge up against your ass and groped the fleshy globes.
And somehow Steve was suddenly in front of you, moving before you could even register. He took your chin in his hands even as Bucky’s fingers moved down between your legs, invading your panties to start playing with your folds.
“Bucky and I have always shared everything,” Steve said. “It’s why no one can beat us or come between us.”
Bucky suddenly found your clit, and it made you jump and whimper.
“Mmm, give her more of that, Buck,” Steve said, a wicked glint in his eye.
“We’ll make your body sing for us,” Bucky vowed, “don’t fight it, little lark.”
Your breath hitched, and you fought back a sob.
While Bucky kept tormenting your clit, his other hand went to the small of your back, urging you to arch and present your hips more readily for him. You couldn’t do anything but comply.
It was Steve who nudged your legs further apart with his foot edging your right to move out to a wider stance. Then he stepped back, and Bucky continued to push you forward. You almost stumbled forward, but Steve caught your hands to steady you.
And then he put your hands at his belt.
“Go on,” he urged, looking down at you, “be our good girl. You know what to do.”
Disobedience could mean death – maybe not yours, but someone else’s. They’d killed your boss in front of you without hesitation. You didn’t want to test them in the slightest. Your fingers worked open the leather belt and zipper in front of you while Bucky peeled your panties down over your ass and let them fall to the floor.
One cock in your pussy, one in your mouth, you tried to ignore their degradation and praise as they worked your body into unwanted bliss, tears falling down your cheeks and their collar hanging around your neck.
You were theirs.
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
READ THE SEQUEL: BIRD ON A WIRE
When I tell you these mean mafia men really came and took over my creative brain about an hour and a half ago, I'm not lying. Start to finish, they were direct, brutal, and exacting in what they wanted.
#bucky barnes smut#steve rogers smut#bucky barnes#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader x steve rogers#mafia au#askpen#tw: non con#tw: noncon#aspen wrote something#female reader#babb2023#hotbuckysummer2024#little lark verse
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hii i have a little ellie request. so can we maybe have an enemies to lovers where reader and ellie “hate each other” but in reality ellie just wants to be with reader and she ends up using the strap roughly bc reader didn’t wanna confess after years? (sorry this seems long😭)
i absolutely love this idea omg??
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
PART1ONE
part 2two
mdni please<3
warnings: 18+!! smut, 'enemies' to lovers, strap (r!receiving), mean!ellie kinda??, rough!ellie, reader is also mean at first !!
writers note: i love receiving requests like yall are so creative and idkk its just easier to write a req than my own idea🫣🫣 also this turned out to be longer than i expected (my longest fanfic yet!) but even the anon said it seems long so ig thats how its supposed to be🙏
It was another PE lesson you hate so much. It wouldn't be that bad, if not the fact that you're in the same team with Ellie. Ellie fucking Williams.
She would get mad at you for every little mistake you made. You absolutely hated her.
You had to admit she was... pretty. Especially when she had the mix of mad and stern expression on her face. Sometimes you provoked her just to watch her insult every little thing about you she could but you didn't mind. You just sat there with a smirk, sometimes making a mockingly worried face to piss her off even more. Sometimes. Sometimes you weren't in mood for that and you'd actually get offended. Sometimes even hurt. But you couldn't really blame her, that's how it works.
This day, you were literally rescuing your team. Every point was because of you. Every 'that was close' situation was only 'close' because of you. But your luck, or whatever made you win, had to run out eventually. You missed one time.
"What happened? Got holes in your hands? Tired? Not so good anymore?" Ellie asked you with that mocking tone.
Everyone ignored your interaction - they knew what's starting and they didn't want to get involved in that.
"I've done pretty much everything for this team, and the only thing you do is complain, Williams." You said and you could feel your temper rising.
Ellie didn't hesitate to respond to that.
"Well at least I don't do a half-ass job like you. You're really so full of yourself, aren't you? Why not just give up and let someone actually capable take over, huh?" She barked sarcastically.
The other team members didn't even try to hide their excitement now, they just sat back and enjoyed the show, even the teacher was having a hard time holding back the grin on his face whenever Ellie came up with a new insult.
And now, there was no going back.
"Oh, I'm sorry Williams, did your precious little ego get hurt from that? Are my skills threatening your so-called pride? Well if you don't like it, suck it up." You shot back.
If this kept up, you were going to end up with another detention for sure. Everyone knew that you two were like oil and water, but nobody really expected you to get into a shouting match over PE class. Especially, not this early in the morning.
The teacher finally decided that it was enough trouble, and he stepped between the two.
"Ladies, settle down! If you can't figure out how to work well together in a simple PE session, then you'll need more than one detention to figure it out. Go sit down." He ordered, and you two sat down, next to each other.
As if following a silent order, all the other students just went about their business and pretended like nothing had happened.
"You should learn how to shut up sometimes." You said quietly, nervously playing with your fingers.
"You should stop thinking you're so damn important." She snapped back, completely ignoring your advice as she stared at you with the same icy cold look as before.
The teacher came over to the two of you and handed you a form, which you quickly read over. "Maybe it's rough but that's what you both deserve after arguing in every single class. And if that won't help... I don't know what will. Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything, understood?."
In short, the file was saying you'll have spent a month after school doing little school works, like cleaning the gym, with her. It was a frequent way of dealing with problematic students in your school.
You weren't even surprised - the teacher was right. Your little bickers were the main gossip topic and there was no way they'll go unnoticed.
Still, you couldn't help but frown.
"You've got to be kidding me." You muttered under your breath. Spending a month after school doing odd jobs with Ellie was literally the last thing you wanted to do. You knew there was some sort of punishment coming, but this was extreme.
Ellie overheard your muttering, and she rolled her eyes. "It's just a bunch of cleaning, what's wrong, can't handle a little hard work?" She mocked.
"And why are you so happy? Maybe you wished to spend more time with me?" You chuckled, finally looking up at her.
Ellie seemed caught off guard, but she quickly recomposed herself. "Who said I was happy? Sure, I'll love to see you grovel and scrub floors while I sit back and relax." She replied in a sarcastic tone.
You decided to press your advantage, and give Ellie a dose of her own medicine. "Aww, is someone actually admitting that they like spending time with me? I'm so honored." You said with an overdramatized fake fluster.
Ellie didn't even let you finish your sentence before she cut in with her usual sarcastic tone. "Pfff, don't get so ahead of yourself there." She chided. Even then, you could hear some slight annoyance in her voice.
Ellie may have been a jerk, but there was something about her you couldn't help but like. You couldn't explain it, but you liked this banter between the two of you.
Oh, who were you trying to lie to? You liked her. You were just good at hiding it.
You were just about to open your mouth to respond to Ellie's last snarky remark, when you were cut off again.
"Enough."
You both turned to see the teacher staring at the two of you. He sounded more annoyed than before, and you decided it was better to stop your feud before you got in any more trouble.
"You two are already going to spend a month together doing odd jobs. The last thing we need is for you to add another week to that sentence." He warned.
You wanted to say something back, but you decided to shut up before the teacher had to make it worse. You and Ellie just looked at each other for a couple of seconds, before you rolled your eyes and got up from your seat.
After a few more classes, the time of fulfilling your penalty came. You sat down at the gym benches, waiting for Ellie. You waited, and waited, but no one came.
Ellie was faster than you with getting up. She smirked and said; "Well it's not like you actually had anything worth saying anyway, so it's easier for you." With that parting jab, she walked out of the gym.
You expected something like that from her, so you stood up and a few minutes later you were standing in front of her room. You knocked to the door, patiently waiting for her to answer.
After a few moments, you heard footsteps, before the door finally opened. Ellie stood in front of you, her face as annoyed as ever.
"What do you want?" she grumbled, clearly not in the mood to be bothered right now.
"Uh, hello? We're supposed to be doing the clean-up, remember? You haven't forgotten, right?" You said, trying to stay as polite as you could.
She sighed and motioned for you to come in, clearly not ready to go just yet.
You slowly stepped into Ellie's room, your eyes taking in the decorations and mess. It was clear that this was Ellie's world, but you couldn't help but feel a slight curiosity towards her.
"So, why exactly weren't you at the gym?" You asked, finally breaking the tension. You didn't want her thinking you were here to start another argument.
"I had stuff to do." Was the terse response you were met with, nothing else.
"Yeah, of course." You rolled your eyes. "Your room could use some cleaning too."
Ellie smirked when your tone turned from polite to annoyed when she gave you her response, but you couldn't help but notice that she slightly recoiled when you mention how messy her room was. For someone with such a sharp tongue, she sure wasn't enjoying that same kind of treatment.
"Oh yeah? So maybe we should have you clean my room instead." She shot back.
"Actually, boarding school is still school, so that'd count too." You smirked, not so sarcastically anymore. You'd really rather stay in her room than running all over the building with a mop and dirty cloths.
Ellie raised one eyebrow at your reply, clearly not expecting you to just accept it without some kind of snarky remark or argument.
"Alright then." She replied simply, and she walked over to her bed and started to clear out the clutter. You couldn't really deny that her room was in a pretty messy state.
You explored the room, looking for something to start with.
Just then, near other scattered clothes, you saw feminine underwear. Clearly not hers.
"Um, Ellie..." You laughed. "Who's this?"
She walked up to you, not seeming surprised or embarrased at all. "I dunno. There's lots of girls visiting." She smirked.
You knew the smart thing to do would be just to drop the topic, but your curiosity got the best of you. Just who was Ellie Williams hanging out with?
"Really? And how many of them leave a pair of underwear in your room as a souvenir?" You asked, trying to keep a straight face, but you couldn't help but be amused by the situation.
Ellie just laughed, and you couldn't help but grin at her confidence in that moment.
"If you're asking if I'm dating someone," Ellie said, looking at you with an amused expression, "then no. I wouldn't call it dating."
You knew Ellie was always too stubborn and proud to just admit it normally, so you decided to push her just a little bit further.
"So it's not just a single person then? What's it? A new girl every day?" you asked with a smirk, knowing you'd hit a nerve there.
The slight flicker of annoyance on Ellie's face told you that you'd hit the mark.
"So what if it is? Are you jealous?" She teased in response, just adding fuel to the fire.
Now, she had the smirk on her face, and you just knew you'll regret what you started.
"Not really. Everyone knows you fuck every girl in the school anyways. Well, almost every." You suggestively pointed at yourself. "That's honestly sad. You should focus on one person, don't you think?"
Ellie took this as a challenge, she just couldn't resist it when you made yourself the exception.
"Oh, you think you're a special case? How cute." She snickered, and you couldn't help but feel somewhat pleased with that response after how much you two had been annoying each other for the past month.
"What do you think, should I consider dating you? It seems like you're interested, isn't that why you keep sticking around?" She asked, looking at you, knowing very well what kind of effect her words were gonna have on you.
"Me? Interested? You're the one finding excuses to talk to me every day, even if it's just another argument!" You shook your head and looked down, trying to hide that your smirk turns into a honest smile.
You felt Ellie's eyes studying your face as you tried to hide your genuine happiness, you tried to play it off, but you knew that it wasn't working in your favor. You couldn't even deny it, because it was true, you were interested in Ellie. Maybe not at first, but after spending time together, you grew to like her, her arrogance, her wit, the snarky smile on her face... and her eyes.
"Oh, so you do care!" She quickly cut in, sensing your weakness as your smile grew.
"Come on, don't tell me you've been enjoying this little game of ours, haven't you? Don't you look forward to it every day? Don't you love the adrenaline that kicks in when you're about to say something that's bound to start an argument?" She asked, taking a step closer to you and lowering her voice.
You could almost see the sparks fly as the two of you stared at each other, both feeling the tension in the air. You were almost tempted to take her up on the offer, but your pride got the best of you.
"You're just full of yourself, aren't you? Thinking everybody craves that attention." You said after taking a deep breath.
Ellie just smiled and walked straight to you, getting up close and personal.
"Well, I know you want it. So stop putting up a facade and admit it."
"I'm not like these sluts you fuck, Williams." You said, trying to keep your voice steady and calm.
Ellie just smirked in response. "You're right, you're not like them. You're better than them. And maybe you are a little special, considering how much you manage to piss me off everyday." She took a step back and looked you up and down. "I kinda like it." She said, and you couldn't help but feel your heart rate go up a little when she said that.
You just stared back at Ellie, not really sure what else to say in this situation. Both of your egos were too big to give the other one satisfaction, and neither would be making the first move.
She finally spoke up; "Your turn to be honest now. Admit you're into me."
She was awfully close to you now, daring you to say something.
"Don't push it, Ellie." You told her confidently, and even though you really wanted to say it, your pride was holding you back from admitting it.
Ellie just smirked and moved even closer to you, until her face was just an inch away from yours. "Say it." She whispered.
You felt your heart pounding faster as you just looked at her, not able to break her stare.
You shook your head. "No way."
She just chuckled at your response. "I knew you'd say that. And now, I'm gonna make you say it yourself."
Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Ellie pulled you close, just enough to make your lips meet. You just stood there, completely stunned by how bold she was, but at the same time, the feeling of her lips against yours was so new and so good as well. You hadn't felt this type of rush before, and you didn't want it to end.
You couldn't stop yourself from letting out a gasp followed by a moan into the kiss, which made her even bolder.
"I'll show you how lucky those so-called by you sluts are." She whispered after pulling away from you, but not for long.
While Ellie's mouth aggresively covered yours, you felt her slowly pushing you towards the bed.
You were barely able to think now, as your adrenaline was pumping through your whole body. Your back hit the mattress, and Ellie continued to push you down as she climbed up onto the bed on top of you.
That's when it hit you.
You realized that your little feud with Ellie wasn't going to end after all, except this time you weren't fighting her.
Instead, you were just enjoying the moment with someone you could almost call a friend.
It felt like there was nothing else in the universe, just a rush of new sensations that you didn't want to end.
Ellie was the one in control now, as you felt her body pressing up against you, her lips pressing against yours, her hands moving around your body without hesitation. You weren't even thinking straight anymore, you just let her embrace you, letting her take control entirely.
You felt her break the kiss for a moment, just to whisper something in your ear. "Say it."
You knew what she wanted you to say, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so.
Before you could answer, you felt her slowly undressing you. Her lips were tracing paths along your throat, not letting you let out a logical word from it - only little whimpers.
You felt every curve of her body as you felt her lips against your neck, every touch sending chills down your spine.
When you felt her hands move towards your pants, you felt your body respond in the only way you could.
You couldn't think of anything else but her embrace, her warm breath against your neck, and your body slowly being freed from clothing.
Ellie knew exactly how to push your buttons.
Before you could catch your breath, you were left shaking, as her hand slipped into your underwear, which was soon on the floor too. She was teasing your clit in almost painful slow way, watching you squirm.
"Speak up, babe." She whispered mockingly.
But you couldn't. Not because you didn't want, or because your ego didn't let you - you just couldn't. You even asked yourself 'What does this girl wants from me?' as you already forgotten her previous wish. You just weren't thinking straight.
"Come on, do this for me." She kept looking at you with overdramatic concern. You saw her fastening her belt and sliding of her jeans, revealing an obviously-way-too-big strap, which purple color didn't surprise you at all as you imagined it the same way in your dreams.
When you finally came back to your senses, you constructed a whole full sentence answer. But as soon as she saw you opening your mouth to speak up, she slid a few inches of her toy into your soaking cunt. Your planned reply quickly got replaced with another gasp.
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" She smirked, her hips started thrusting. She had some sympathy for you, so she didn't make it too painful, but she wasn't also so merciful.
You cried out, at first clenching your thighs from surprise, but she was too strong for you to actually succeed.
You leaned your head back against the pillow, squeezing your eyes shut causing a few of your pathetic tears soak into the sheets.
She held your hips, so she won't miss your sensitive spot, but her grip was so hard you swore you can already see the bruises creating right beneath her fingers.
"Honestly, I'm really happy it ended like that. You have no idea how often I'd imagine you instead of some random girl. But it's good to have you really there." She chuckled, not slowing down but not speeding up either.
Your eyes opened wide at this confession. Before today, the nicest thing she said to you was 'what's wrong?', even though it was in an obviously mocking way. And know it turns out she liked you for a long time. Just like you liked her.
"W...Wh- What?" You managed to stutter out, leaning on your elbows to look at her before your vision turned blurry again so you fell back on the pillow.
"You didn't know?" She laughed. "I mean, you were always oblivious, so I shouldn't be shocked but... I thought it was clear." She was speaking slower than usual as every single word coming from her mouth was synced with the moves of her hips. While saying this simple thing, she pushed her strap into you at least twenty times. And she wasn't taking her time, oh, no. She was fast and rough, like you're just a sex toy without feelings. Did you mind? Hmmm...
When you started getting used to the size of her cock and your mind wasn't completely blank anymore, you remembered one important thing your PE teacher said. 'Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything.' None of you were either at the gym or putting up flyers around school. They're going to think you ditched it. Even though you'd rather get into more trouble than end whatever you were doing now, you felt you need to tell Ellie, just in case.
"El-s..." You moaned out and quickly realised it won't be easy.
"What is it?" She asked, seeming honestly interested in what you got to say. "Ready to admit you're absolutely obsessed with me?"
You clenched your fists, squeezing the bed sheets between your fingers.
"Th- no... We should..." You couldn't help but cry out again.
As soon as she heard the two keywords - 'we should' (and she hated when someone was telling her what to do, so that pissed her off) - she understood what you're trying to say.
"Behave? Fulfill our duties? Or...?" She chuckled.
You wanted to speak up, just to not feel so vulnerable as you really were. You only managed to mumble 'we' before one of her hands started rubbing your clit, just like at the start - painfully slow. The feeling made your thighs tense and move closer to each other, wanting to close the gap between them. But Ellie didn't let that happen as she quickly separated your legs.
Her hips also didn't stop moving, and all the sensations connected made you go silent again. Well, not silent - unable to speak. And that were two completely different things.
"I'd take that as a 'we should continue what we're doing right now'. Isn't that what you want?" Even though you're eyes were closed, you could feel her intense stare on you. Then, her mocking tone came back. "What is it with you being so quiet all of sudden? You spent a few of the past years yelling at me, and you can't even say a word now?"
"I ju-st..." You said but then she hit your g spot again, and again, and again... making you go silent.
Your stomach started feeling funny - probably because of how deep in it Ellie's strap was. At this point, you thought you can even feel it in your throat and that's what's blocking your words from coming out. But the funny feeling had a different origin - your release was getting awfully close, and it didn't go unnoticed.
"We're going to have lots of fun this month." She whispered, leaning in to stroke your cheek.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie tlou#ellie williams#reqs open#wlw smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#enemies to lovers#ellie smut#smut#strap#strap r!receiving#ellie strap#ellie williams strap#imagine#oneshot#one shot#fan fiction#fanfic#send anons#i love you nonnie#mean!ellie#mean!ellie williams#mean!ellie x reader#mean!ellie williams x reader
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Yandere!Five/Reader.
wow how long has it been? two years since I wrote something for TUA? I still haven't rewatched it since I'm finally catching up with breaking bad but I hope I'll rewatch TUA next week or so. for some strange reason I feel that weird feeling like I need to come back to my fav fictional family with bread and milk and concentrate on it ughhh. when I rewatch it I will check that requests I had before for TUA and will finish them!
tw: yandere Five, unhealthy obsession, mentions of the reader's death, Five has ZERO moments of peace here, angst, controlling Five, mentions of Five's childhood, sort of happy ending?
I'm probably describing my thoughts sooo bad don't be mad please
Like we know, Reginald wasn't afraid to use his own «children» for every heroic mission. Bank robbery? He'll make a 14 year old kids deal with it. Some villains are trying to cause problems? Well, another time to test Number 1's leadership skills, no time for a happy childhood, kiddos! And that is basically what their life is.
Basically, the only source from which they can get the feeling of being needed, loved by the public, and recognized, if not by their father but by the citizens. Reginald trained them well, as long as there are 6 of them, they can deal with any kind of problem. I mean, come on, they're THE Hargreeves, one of the strongest people in the world who have unique superpowers, it's not like something might go wrong one day.
Five was always the most compatible member of the team, always trying to be the best. Despite only being the fifth in the ranking, it doesn't stop him from showing off every time he taunts another criminal, making them lose their minds in attempts to catch him.
It was another day when he and his siblings would find a criminal to deal with. Everything went smoothly, as Luther would discuss the plan with everyone. Klaus and Ben would be outside waiting for the signal, Allison and Luther would be the ones to distract the criminals from the hostages and Diego should disarm them before causing any serious trouble. Five would be the one who would save the hostages.
I think his abilities help the most in such situations. He can teleport any person away in just seconds and lead them into safety, no one would even notice. And if something happens, Five is capable enough to fight by himself.
You are the last hostage he protects now. He had already saved more than 10 people non-stop before, and for some reason, his powers refused to work. It's not like he is weak or something, no, no, just give him some time to catch his breath, and he will continue in a moment! He can't let someone see him like this, let alone let his father find out about this little problem.
He would huff and puff about it, probably imagining how Diego or Klaus were teasing him, how Five was losing his cool and accidentally forgetting how his own powers were working due to what a pretty little hostage Five talked to! And they're close to his age too, so it would be natural for his age to get shy and awkward in front of someone cute he found~! Well, at least it's exactly what he imagines hearing from Klaus after the mission.
Five wasn't quiet around people, usually. He enjoys talking with his siblings, well, with some of them—and he finds it amusing to toy with criminals.
For some reason, he is quiet around you.
Of course, he would try to reassure you that everything is fine, he is a good guy here, and soon enough, you would be safe. The only thing you have to do is just listen to him and follow his lead.
He didn't suspect everything, of course, and was so full of himself even at such an age, thinking nothing would go wrong. You were around his age, and naturally, despite being an arrogant little brat, he did find you quite cute. Maybe, if he had a different life, he would have approached you in different circumstances.
But Five learned the hard way that he's not the strongest and could never be the number one. He would never be able to save everyone. He just stopped paying attention for a one damn second, and the next thing he heard, was a gunshot. Five could feel your hand slipping away from his own, and he would look back just in time to see you almost stumbling, only to catch you in his own arms. Blood painted his dark blue uniform in red.
After that incident, Five became more obsessed with the idea of time travelling. If at first he wanted to prove to his father that he is capable of much more, to show that he's actually much better than everyone, this idea also feeds off his guilt. His first mistake, the only time he failed to do his task. And he just can't let go of it, no matter how much Viktor tries to tell him that it's really not his fault, that he couldn't predict it.
And then, during dinner, he runs away, despite Viktor silently begging him not to do it. Then he blinks again, again, and again, until it's nothing but ruins surrounding him. Until The Handler decides to pay him a visit, expect that he will probably be much more calculative and controlling. 40 years of being alone did it's horrible job on his mind, every day trying to survive while thinking about a possible way out of this situation. Maybe, if he makes much better calculations, he will actually succeed. But being away from humanity for so long makes him crave human contact, he already had that mannequin, Dolores, he could find, talking every day to her about how he actually missed his family, how he wants at least some kind of sick normalcy he had back in the academy. At least he had a place to live without worrying every day about his own survival.
During these moments, where he actually gives himself some time to be weak, he wonders would he still do this if you were still alive? Would he still risk everything just to make his father proud?
He didn't know much about you before. The police shortly said that day that one of the employees had a child in the building, and they were taken hostages by the villains. You were around his age, a young, probably promising student in your normal school, with caring parents and friends who worried about you. Something he craved deeply, even though he would have never admitted it.
When he couldn't have teleported you away safely, he led you through the second way out. He can tell you were scared. Of course, who wouldn't be? It's not like you were used to it. He isn't the gentlest person, more like focused on the business and how to end it all as fast as possible. But you were shaking mess, asking from time to time if it's safe or is actually everything okay? Five, in his some kind of nonchalant and gruff manner, would only nod, reassuring you that his siblings probably dealt with the villains by that time.
You looked so normal for him. You had no powers, no one made you train every day just to bend you into their high expectations, you didn't have to compete for someone's love and approval. You acted like he's just a normal person too, never bothering him with questions about his brothers or a sister, not trying to peek into some secret life of the Hargreeves family. Do you even know who he is?
Eventually, he can't remember who exactly started the dialogue. Was it you, who just wanted to talk about something so boring like your school life, or like that you probably skipped a few classes and missed a math test? Or was it him, remembering his trainings how he should try to make the worried and scared hostage less afraid by making a small talk with them? He's too old to remember every single detail. But he certainly remembered that he at least listened to what you said to him. That he was actually looking at you, giving you his full attention.
Maybe if he was born into a normal family, he would have had a chance to live that normal life with you. But that would be too kind to wish for, wasn't it? Now, that his hands are covered in blood of so many innocent people he had to kill, asking for a normal life is impossible. Even after taking hundreds of lives, he still can't understand why is the sight of yours in his hands any different? He thought he would be used to it by now. What kind of evil God makes him see it over and over again, in every goddamn timeline?
First, it was a villain killing you right in front of him. Second, it was the Swedes who killed you the next day they saw Five trying to talk to you. He almost lost his mind when he spotted you living near the same hotel where his siblings and he decided to stay. But once again, the more problems just followed, leading to another damn disaster to take you away.
When he lost his powers, he didn't know if he should feel relieved or more concerned about it. Of course, that means that he probably has to find Reginald, to get more answers about what the hell happened in this new universe. But that also meant that he finally has a chance to live like a normal person too. Like you did.
He was unfamiliar with this world. He felt lost, humiliated most of the time now that everyone treat him like he's actually younger than he is. At least people stopped treating him like a child, yet he still has to deal with someone underestimating him. He has to find a job, a place to live, for God's sake, how the hell is he going to live without any documents here?
The fate seemed to be connecting you two once again, as it seemed. You would meet him accidentally, one time you just saw him visiting a café you were working for and the same process would repeat again. This time, he would actually remember every single little detail. He would approach you first, carefully and as politely as he could. He still thinks that if he makes even the smallest mistake, he would experience your loss once again. This time he won't screw up, he would plan everything strictly to his scenario. Your meeting, your first date, your first 'I love you'. You might think he's just the most perfect guy you ever met, which actually... would not be so far from the truth? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#yandere x reader#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#tua x reader#yandere five hargreeves x reader#yandere tua#yandere the umbrella academy#yandere five hargreeves#yandere number five#number five x reader#number five#five hargreaves x reader#five hargreeves imagine#yandere imagines#tw yandere#male yandere
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Please a Clark fic, where reader is a new intern adn Clark is just love struck. And he slowly starts to court (?) the reader, and at some point take him home for a home-cooked meal, where the reader meets Conner and Jon. I think Conner at first doesn't really like reader, but Jon immediately clings to reader. After some time Conner warms up to reader and they all become a happy family
Of course my dear anon. Some superfam sounds good right now. Also, I have decided to make (Y/N) from Gotham... It sounds good, trust me.
Summary: Clark likes (Y/N). Conner is suspicious.
Warnings: I don't think there's any... Fluff mostly.
" Morning Clark. " Lois said to him as she passed him to get some coffee. Clark simply nodded as he booted his computer to start up. He had a piece to write about Lex Luthor scandal which for once wasn't brought to light by the Justice League.
An anonymous whistleblower who contacted Daily Planet with a shit ton of damning evidence. Clark jumped on the said opportunity to expose Lex, both as Superman and Clark Kent.
" Working on the Lex thing? " She asked as she came back, leaning on the edge of his desk, glancing at the computer screen to check the progress. " Yes, it's great to see how he's slowly crumbling. The stock share prices are going down faster than our faith in humanity. " Clark said with a smile, making Lois chuckle.
" Yeah, it's truly satisfying. Also, I have some news for you Smallville. " She said, stopping to sip her warm coffee. Clark raised his brow, fixing his glasses as he leaned back in his chair, smoothing his pants out.
" What those might be Lois? " Clark asked, turning his chair to face her fully.
" We got an intern. Someone from Gotham it seems. His name is (Y/N) and he will work in this department. " Lois stated, lifting her cup of coffee as if she was silently saying finally.
" Oh really? " Clark asked, tilting his head in curiosity. " It seems that Perry has decided to throw us a bone. We could use a courier. " Clark joked and Lois chuckled.
It's nice to have an extra set of hands. " Also, did you say he was from Gotham? " Clark inquired and Lois nodded. Clark whistled quietly. Gotham people are often tougher and more direct and even more blunt.
Clark knew that very well, ahem, read Bruce.
" That will be a nice change of pace. Someone with tough skin. " Clark noted and Lois nodded.
" Now we have someone to take as a bodyguard when we go out. Everyone is afraid of Gotham people. " She joked, sipping more of her coffee before her eyes moved forward, right behind Clark. He turned his chair around to check what she was looking at.
She was looking at the new intern who entered with their boss, Perry White. The room fell silent as Perry stood with a tall guy, (H/C) hair and (E/C) eyes in a suit, standing with a stoic look on his face. And there was a Gotham aura and vibe radiating from (Y/N).
Clark had to stifle a chuckle.
" Everyone, this is our new intern, his name is (Y/N). He transferred from Gotham. Be nice to him. I don't want chaos around here. As for you (Y/N), you'll be working with Kent. He is more than capable to show you the ropes. " Perry said and Clark raised his brow from his seat.
Being a mentor isn't new to him anymore, ever since Conner came as a clone and stepping up ever since then. And since Jon came into the picture, he had no choice but to really step it up as a father. Since the mom left...
Clark rubbed his forehead for a moment, then set his sight back on (Y/N). Clark looked him up and down subtly. He... He is drop dead gorgeous in Clark's eyes. Clark did have a few relationships with men in the past, but he was always more attracted to women.
But the tides have changed.
Clark has been struck with probably love at first sight. He never really felt like this before... So lovestruck. Oh Bruce would have laughed so hard at him in this situation...
Oh God and he is responsible for (Y/N) too? This won't be good in the slightest. He gulped quietly as Perry led (Y/N) to him and the office started bustling with activity again.
" This is Clark Kent (Y/N). Kent, you'll be making sure he gets the basics down since I'm sure Gotham Daily Planet is not up to standard with us. " Perry joked, making (Y/N) laugh.
Clark's heart did a few flips at the laughter. Oh dear God, (Y/N) is so damn adorable when he laughs. But he looks so damn tough too and it makes it a bit more difficult to read.
Gotham does make you more tough.
" Also, this is Lois. " Perry introduced and (Y/N) shook hands with her. Clark stood up and shook hands with (Y/N), whose hands were so soft. Oddly enough. For a Gothamite especially.
" Clark, nice to meet you. " Clark said with a firm handshake. (Y/N) nodded. " (Y/N), nice to meet you. " He said politely.
" Well, I'll take you around the office to show you around and then you can help Kent or whatever else he needs. " Perry said before he led (Y/N) away, telling him about the Daily Planet and how good the place is.
" You are in love Smallville. " Lois said behind her coffee mug making Clark sigh quietly.
She won't let this go.
" Don't you have some work Lois? " Clark asked her, clearly not in the mood to deal with her teasing. Lois simply snickered and raised her hand and mug in a way to show she surrenders and left to go to her desk, that was, coincidentally, right next to Clark's.
" This is will be fun. " Lois muttered under her breath, knowing fully well that Clark could hear her. Clark simply rolled his eyes. She was right, though, this was going to be fun. Clark listened intently to Perry and (Y/N)'s conversation. His super hearing is something that he can't just turn off anyway.
Might as well use it.
After a few months, Clark decided to start making his moves. He decided to start with bringing some coffee every morning to them both. (Y/N) was suspicious at first, the Gotham nature in him telling him to not trust because, again, Gotham makes you on guard all the time.
Especially when someone is nice to you. Maybe (Y/N) is a bit more cold, but every Gotham native is like that. If you try to be nice to them, they are a bit suspicious. Can you blame (Y/N)? But, Clark's ambition and patience had slowly been paying it off.
It started with small cups of coffee every morning to get the energy going for writing and editing articles. (Y/N)'s editing skills were insanely good and Clark was more than impressed the first time (Y/N) showed him the finished version.
Then, (Y/N) was being sent out on the field with a camera to capture events and what not. Perry justified with the saying, you are from Gotham, you'll be fine.
And that turned out to be true actually.
One day, while dropping off some photos at Perry's office, his face was bloody and it was clear that there was some sort of brawl or a fight. Clark and the rest of the office was concerned, but (Y/N) simply acted casually, as if nothing had happened to him.
The only thing he is said is, 'You should see the other guy.'
It made Clark think of Bruce and his nature. Tough Gotham nature.
But Clark had a lot of experience with that nature. Again, dealing with Bruce's nature made it easier to navigate (Y/N). And although (Y/N) and Bruce are two completely opposite people in every shape and form, it still gave Clark good points what not to do and what to do.
And slowly but surely, he did it.
He asked (Y/N) to come with him to his house, for some dinner. A nice good, old, home cooked meal. A recipe his mom sent him so he could impress (Y/N).
(Y/N) was pleasantly surprised and decided to say yes. As well, (Y/N) knew that Clark is a father. 2 boys, if he could judge from his framed photos on his desk. One younger and one older.
Conner and Jon if (Y/N) remembers correctly. Jon is younger and Conner is the older one. And (Y/N) remembered that Clark was a single parent.
So, (Y/N) decided to accept and say yes to the call, never saying no to a good, nice, homecooked meal. And Clark was a nice guy too so it wasn't a bad thing. He was cute too and (Y/N) slowly started to like him.
So, entering his place, he was greeted by Clark's sons, Jon and Conner. Jon is a bubbly personality, immediately clinging onto him. (Y/N) thought that he was adorable.
But Conner was a whole another story. He was more cold and calculating and clearly suspicious of (Y/N). (Y/N) respected it. Don't trust people that have just entered your life.
All in all, the dinner went well and Clark and (Y/N) went on a few dates and soon enough started dating seriously. Soon enough, after a few years, the two got married.
However, during that time, Conner and (Y/N) got more and more closer. It was a nice feeling and was rather emotional for them both. Clark was happy and soon enough, (Y/N) had two boys to call his sons, despite not being biologically related to them.
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Hey there! I want to give a request for Raphael, Leonardo, Donnatello and Michaelangelo who have S/O who isn't usually expressive and always so stoic that you might even think they are a robot but then they did something really silly and that's when they heard their s/o laughing for the first time.
TMNT boys Reaction to stoic s/o laughing in front of them for the first time.
Leo:
Leo had always admired his significant other's calm and collected demeanor. They were always so stoic, rarely showing any emotion, which sometimes made Leo wonder if they were even capable of feeling anything at all. But deep down, he knew there was more to them than meets the eye.
One day, while Leo was training in the dojo, his S/O came in to watch. As Leo practiced his moves, he couldn't help but steal glances at them, hoping for some sort of reaction. But as usual, they remained expressionless, their eyes fixed on him with unwavering focus.
But then, out of nowhere, Leo slipped on a training mat and fell flat on his shell. And to his surprise, he heard a sound he never thought he'd hear from his S/O - laughter. It was soft and gentle, but it was genuine.
Leo looked up in shock, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. His S/O quickly composed themselves, trying to hide their amusement behind a neutral facade. But Leo couldn't help but smile, feeling a warmth in his heart at the sound of their laughter.
From that day on, Leo made it his mission to bring out more of his S/O's hidden emotions. He would do silly things, tell bad jokes, and even watch cheesy shows with them, all in the hopes of hearing that beautiful sound of laughter once again. And as they shared more lighthearted moments together, Leo knew that their relationship was stronger than ever.
Raph:
Raphael had always known that his significant other was not the most expressive person. They were always so stoic and serious, rarely showing any emotion. It sometimes made him wonder if they were even capable of laughing or smiling. But he loved them nonetheless, appreciating their calm and composed nature that balanced out his own fiery personality.
One day, Raph decided to do something completely out of character for him. He put on a silly hat, danced around the lair, and made ridiculous faces just to see if he could get a reaction out of his s/o. At first, they just raised an eyebrow at his antics, not showing any sign of amusement. But then, something unexpected happened.
As Raph continued to act like a complete goofball, his s/o's lips twitched ever so slightly. And then, to his utter surprise, they let out a small chuckle. It was the first time he had ever heard them laugh, and it was like music to his ears. Raph couldn't help but grin from ear to ear, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment at finally breaking through their stoic facade.
From that day on, Raph made it his mission to bring more laughter and joy into their relationship. He loved seeing his s/o's rare smiles and chuckles, knowing that he was the reason behind them. And as they both shared more lighthearted moments together, their bond only grew stronger, proving that even the most serious of souls could find happiness in the silliest of moments.
Donnie:
Donnie had always been fascinated by his S/O's stoic nature. They rarely showed their emotions, always maintaining a calm and collected facade. It was something that both intrigued and puzzled him. He often found himself wondering what was going on in their mind, behind that unreadable expression.
One day, while working on a new invention in his lab, Donnie got a little too excited and accidentally banged his head against the door, causing him to fall to the floor in a heap. His S/O, who had been quietly observing him from the corner, suddenly burst out laughing. It was the first time Donnie had ever heard them laugh, and it was a beautiful sound to his ears.
As he rubbed his sore head, Donnie couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. His S/O's laughter was contagious, and soon they were both laughing together, the tension and seriousness of the moment melting away.
From that day on, Donnie noticed a change in his S/O. They seemed more relaxed around him, more willing to let their guard down and show their true self. It was a side of them that Donnie cherished, knowing that he had somehow managed to break through their stoic exterior and bring out their hidden laughter.
As they sat together in the lab, surrounded by gadgets and gizmos, Donnie couldn't help but feel grateful for that accidental bump on the head. It had brought him closer to his S/O in a way he never thought possible, and he knew that their bond was stronger because of it.
Mikey:
Mikey had always been the most outgoing and expressive of the ninja turtles, so when he found himself in a relationship with someone who was the complete opposite, he was determined to crack their tough exterior. His significant other was always so stoic and reserved, never showing much emotion, which sometimes made Mikey wonder if they were even capable of laughing.
One day, Mikey decided to put his silly antics to the test. He set up an elaborate prank involving a rubber chicken and a whoopee cushion, hoping to finally see a smile on his s/o's face. As his plan unfolded, he watched with bated breath as his s/o's expression shifted from confusion to amusement.
And then, it happened. A small chuckle escaped from his s/o's lips, followed by a full-blown laughter that filled the room. Mikey's heart swelled with joy as he realized that he had finally broken through their tough exterior.
From that day on, Mikey made it his mission to bring laughter and joy to his s/o's life. He would come up with the silliest jokes and pranks just to see that beautiful smile on their face. And every time his s/o laughed, it was like music to his ears.
Mikey may have been the wild one of the group, but when it came to his s/o, he was the most caring and thoughtful partner anyone could ask for. And seeing his s/o finally open up and show their true emotions was a reward that he cherished more than anything else.
#tmnt 2012 headcanons#tmnt 2012 x reader#tmnt headcanons#tmnt#tmnt 2012 raphael#tmnt preferences#tmnt 2012 leo#leo x reader#leo#leo headcanons#leo 2012#raph x reader#raph headcanons#raphael x reader#leonardo x reader#mikey x reader#Donnie x reader#mikey 2013#donnie 2012#raph 2012#Michelangelo X reader#Donatello X reader#mikey headcanons#donnie headcanons
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hello, hello :) i like drama so... could i request a mean girl trying to flirt with hunting dogs and insulting their s/o?
I won't lie I've rewritten this like multiple times?? I don't know why this was so hard for me other than I hate conflict, so I struggled hard bro.
Scenario: Mean girl insulting their s/o while trying to flirt (Tecchou, Jouno)
Tecchou
“You can do better, you know?”
Tecchou blinked at the girl in front of him, the one who was staring at him dead in the face with eyes that looked like a predator.
It was an unsettling gaze. He felt challenged, as if the two were in a cage, ready to throw down.
She didn't look like an assassin, but Tecchou met abilities that were far more dangerous than physical capabilities alone.
“Excuse me?”
”You heard me. Ditch the cabbage patch bitch, come here and get a barbie. I think you're worth that.“
The woman leaned in closer, her long hair almost brushing against his arms.
Tecchou took a step back, regaining his personal space. He breathed as he felt his sword tied to his body, certainly within reach.
She was a civilian, but she could very well be a threat.
”I don't know what cabbage patches have to do with my girlfriend.”
The woman squinted at him, almost in offense. She was the one offering him a doll in the first place, like some sort of man in a white van offering kids candy.
It was a strange situation.
“I'm saying she's ugly. What? You don't think you deserve someone hot like me?”
Oh.
She was almost aggresive with her words, her long acrylic nail nearly jabbing at his chest - this was aggression, but it was pointed towards someone else.
It was targeted towards you. That's very crass, isn't it?
”I don't think you're attractive.“
Tecchou had a hard line to toe. He didn't want to deal with a hysterical woman, but he also knew that you most certainly heard this conversation, listening from somewhere off in the park while he had gone to order you both lunch.
He hated to imagine the look on your face from hearing those words. You were rather sensitive compared to him when it came to these things, and he hated to imagine you crying.
It was one of the worst things that he had ever seen, that and wasting food. Maybe his bones poking out from underneath his skin were a close second, but he could handle physical pain pretty well. He didn't really know how to handle you crying, and it was damn near as painful.
”Excuse me?“
Tecchou had to take another step back, the woman not understanding the concept of personal space and respecting boundaries. It was agitating, watching as she tried to encroach onto his personal boundaries again, her hand reaching towards his chest area.
Slapping her hand away, he glared at her, looking between her and the offending hand between them.
“Don't touch me.”
There was an anger building up inside of him, watching the woman as she stared at him in confusion. What the hell did she have to be confused about? She was the one who had insulted his girlfriend.
"Who the hell do you think you are-"
"Don't insult people you don't know."
He didn't bother to look back at the woman, instead rushing to get his food.
He and his girlfriend's food.
Because that's who really mattered. Not some woman who didn't even know how personal boundaries worked. Or notice the fact that he was carrying a lethal weapon.
Tecchou wasn't the kind of man to harm a civilian. But once and a while he was reminded of why he was different from them.
Jouno
"You know, for a blind guy you're really cute."
Jouno hated having his downtime disturbed, and of course, when he tried to be a good boyfriend and get a package for you, he was interrupted by a woman who he did not care to hear from.
Certainly not his girlfriend, nor Teruko, nor anyone he respected.
The only distress he smelled was in her pants, and frankly, he wanted no part. He just wanted to go home and bring you back whatever stupid shirt you ordered.
"My girlfriend says that to me all the time."
He emphasized the words, hoping she would feel embarrassed and leave him alone. There were others in the mailroom, surely she would take the hint and know not to hit on a man wearing fire-red Hello Kitty pajamas.
At least, that's what you had told him. He was against wearing tacky outfits, but you liked to match and he wasn't going to say no when you were thoughtful enough to buy something so considerate to his senses.
Maybe they looked stupid. He didn't care to see them, anyway, since he only wore them at home. And in the mailroom.
Where he was currently being hit on.
"Well, do you think she appreciates it?"
"What?"
Already starting to walk away from the woman, he found himself being followed by her into the stairwell. He would rather take an elevator, but being stuck in a locked room with her seemed rather unpleasant at the moment.
"You know..."
Not caring for her life, the woman grabbed his arm, hugging it close to her chest. He cringed as he tried to push her off, feeling as she pressed her entire body weight against him.
It felt like someone had thrown a piano at him.
"I think I can show you a way better time than she can. Just stand here-"
Cringing, Jouno pushed her off, listening as she stumbled against the railings.
"You're not deaf, are you? I'm in a relationship, psycho."
He dusted himself off, trying to clean away the dirty particles that was her mere existence on his clothes. At this rate, he was going to have to bleach them.
"With an ugly bitch! I know you can't see it, but-"
"I haven't seen your face but I already know a pig was your mother."
Smirking, he felt for the fire alarm on the wall, pulling it.
Jouno knew he was just out of line for the sprinklers, and it was satisfying to listen as the woman shouted as the cold water shocked her system. It was worth the screaming in his ears - he knew that she most likely looked like shit now.
With the woman off of him, he took the dryest path up the stairs, smiling as he listened to her screams of indignation.
Possibly humiliation. He sure hoped so, for being unable to listen to a simple rejection.
"I hope you have your phone on you. I'm not leaving the door open for you, ugly bitch."
He waved goodbye to her with your package, smirking as she banged on the now closed doors of the stairwell.
The fire department can deal with her. That wasn't his problem.
There was a package he had to deliver to his lovely girlfriend, who he knew would be sitting in a shared apartment wondering why the fire alarm went off.
Honestly I struggled mad hard with this one. So much so it took me nearly a year to write (haha...haaaaaaa). But also hope you enjoyed it cause damn...I've never been in a mean girls scenario so i had to make it up
#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#tecchou x reader#bsd x y/n#jouno x reader#jouno x you#jouno x y/n#tetcho x reader#tetcho x you
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nobody compares to you
chapter 14
pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, some setting is in a hospital, mentions of catheters and needles, descriptions and talk of anaphylaxis, mentions of financial difficulties, mentions of alcohol, mentions of toxic parents, mentions of death and suicide, minors do not interact
word count: 7.9k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
palestine will be free
The first thing you feel is something plastic poking the inside of your nose. It smelled of chilly, medicinal air conditioning.
The next thing you feel is a massive, unpleasant weight on your chest. Then at the crown of your head. Then some weird pressure squeezing your calves every few seconds. Then an entirely full bladder.
“I need to fucking pee.” You mutter, voice dry and raspy.
“I think you can just go, dude.” A familiar voice replies.
You fight against the crustiness of your eyes but immediately regret it. All you can see through the slits of your eyelids is a harsh, white light.
“Am I… Am I fucking blind?” You whine.
“I’m pretty sure that your eyeballs are still inside your head. So hopefully not.” You hear the voice chuckle.
You fight against the unforgiving glare from above, forcing your eyes open. It takes a few moments to gain control of your body, but you’re eventually able to crane your neck towards where the voice had previously echoed from.
“J-Jesse?” You croak.
“Yeah. I’m here, bud.” Your raven-haired friend smiles.
You spot him to your left, sitting in, what appears to be, an uncomfortable armchair. He wore a blue disposable mask over his nose and mouth, his hair looking unkempt and unshowered, and you notice how his clothes look wrinkled and slept in.
“What happened? Are you alright? What’s going on?” You groggily inquire.
“You’re the one all strapped to a hospital bed, but you’re asking me if I’m okay?”
Jesse takes your hand and squeezes it appreciatively. He flashes you a soft, warm smile.
“How are you feeling?” He asks.
“I-I’m not sure…” You admit. “What… what the hell happened?”
“Well,” Jesse starts slowly. “You went on a date with Anderson to Orchards yesterday. At the end of it, you were being a total dummy and made out with her after she ate a whole plate of shrimp.”
“N-no, no,” You interrupt, scrunching your face up as you try to recall the previous day’s events. “She ate this whole soup thing for dinner. Some weird French dish with some weird-sounding name.”
“Bouillabaisse,” Jesse clarifies. “It’s a fish soup. It doesn’t always have shellfish in it, but hers apparently did.”
You groan.
“Oh, I am such a dumbass.”
“Please explain to me exactly how you were being a dumbass in this situation.”
“You literally just said that I was a dummy!”
“That was Jesse of the past. I’m a much more mature man now in my old age.”
You attempt to smack his arm, but he’s saved by the many coils of IVs attached to you, pulling your hand back.
As he playfully rebukes you for attempted physical abuse, another person enters the room. A kind-looking nurse walks in with a clipboard in hand. Wearing dark blue scrubs, a low ponytail, and a surgical mask, she greets you with a friendly wave. She approaches your bedside opposite Jesse, and her glasses-covered eyes indicate a friendly smile.
“Hi there,” She nods. “My name is Yoojin. I’m your nurse today. I’m so sorry for not being here when you woke up. I had to step out for a few seconds, but your brother here assured me that you were in capable hands.”
You turn to Jesse and mouth in amusement, “Brother?”
He suppresses a laugh.
“Later.” He whispers through his mask.
You turn to Yoojin with a small grin.
“No worries. I only just woke up now.” You assure.
She gives you, what you assume, is another smile under her mask.
“So how are you feeling?”
Jesse remained by your side the entire time, only leaving briefly when he needed to use the bathroom or take a call. He sympathized with your gripes about being bedridden, making lighthearted jokes about your catheter, messing around with the IPC devices off your legs over and over until a nurse came in and kindly asked him to stop.
The TV in your room wasn’t working, so he kept you entertained, cracking his usual dad jokes and telling some old stories of Jackson you hadn’t heard yet. You pretended not to notice that the anecdotes he’d recall always excluded an essential person in his childhood, and you tried your best not to remark on it.
After a couple of hours, Dina finally came around to visit. She walks in as you’re berating Jesse for stealing a fruit cup you knew you weren’t going to eat. The sight of her immediately warms your heart.
“Dina!” You exclaim. “Oh, I missed you.”
Dina sets her bag down next to Jesse, lowers her face mask for a moment to give him a quick peck on the cheek, and pulls up a chair next to him. She takes your hand and beams at you graciously. You notice that her eyes are slightly glassy.
“Oh, babe,” She sighs. “I missed you too. Sorry that I’m just getting here. Had to deal with a few things before I came over.”
“Don’t apologize, D. I’m just glad to see you.”
She squeezes your hand softly.
“I’m so glad you’re awake,” She gulps. “You worried us so much.”
“Sorry about that,” You grin sheepishly. “I was being a bit of a dummy.”
Dina blinks for a moment before giving Jesse a smack on the back of his head at this.
“Oy vey. You asshole.” She chides knowingly.
“Hey! No need to abuse me! I’m delicate.”
He caresses the spot where she hit him as you laugh heartily.
The couple recounts the events of last night for you, explaining in detail as much as they know. You listen without interruption until they reach the topic of your EpiPen.
“But how’d you guys get to my EpiPen so quickly? Did you pass by my apartment?” You ask them curiously. “I don’t mind if you guys did! It’s just not that close to the restaurant. Wouldn’t have made much sense to book it back to my apartment, honestly.”
Dina and Jesse share a look you don’t understand. Your eyebrows furrow, confused by their hesitation. Eventually, Dina responds.
“Uh, well…” She begins slowly. “Jesse actually happened to have a spare EpiPen at his place. Thank god, right?”
“You did?” You turn your head towards Jesse. “I didn’t even know you had one, Jesse.”
“Y-yeah,” Dina continues cautiously as you notice Jesse’s expression shift to a poker face. “He used to have an, uh, egg allergy growing up.”
“What?” You ask incredulously.
“Yup,” Jesse chimes in. “I grew out of it when I was in high school. But my mom still insists that I have an EpiPen on me. Just in case.”
You continue to look completely discombobulated. You don’t fully buy their story, especially since neither were looking you directly in the face. But you’ve always trusted Dina as a sister and Jesse like a brother, so you half-heartedly accept the tale they’ve decided to present you with.
“Oh, okay,” You say, slightly unconvinced. “Well, thank god for that, I guess. Is it okay that you used it on me, though? What if you suddenly need it again?”
“No worries,” Jesse assures you. “I’ll call my mom and ask her to send me a new one.”
His poker face improves, so you concede for now.
The couple continue to recount the previous day’s events until they eventually catch up to the present.
“Only family is technically allowed to visit you in the ICU,” Dina confesses at one point. “Jesse had to say he’s your brother to get past the nurses' station. The nurse manning the desk at the time could definitely tell we were lying, but she was really nice and allowed it anyway.”
“Oh, gotcha,” You say. “Well, you’re basically my brother, anyway.”
“You should feel so lucky to share the same genes as me.” He boasts, stealthily avoiding yet another smack from Dina.
“What about you, D?” You ask, turning towards her. “What did you say you were? My sister?”
“Nah, I didn’t wanna be siblings with Jesse, even just as pretend.” She grimaces.
“Okay, yeah, didn’t think of that,” You realize, scrunching up your nose in total disgust at the thought. “Gross.”
“Wouldn’t be able to get that image out of my head.” Dina shudders. “Anyway, I told them that I’m your life partner.”
“My what?” You giggle.
“Hey, it counts!” Dina defends. “Well, kind of. The nurse had to list me as your ‘spouse’ instead, which feels like a hate crime.”
“Oh, shut up.” You laugh as Jesse chuckles.
“What? You don’t wanna be married to me?” Dina asks in mocking shock and offense.
“I am absolutely honoured to be married to you,” You assure her. “I’m just worried about poor Jesse. How in the world are we supposed to break it to him that we’ve actually been married for over ten years?”
“Oh, please, Jesse’s known from the start that he’s always just been a side piece.”
“Hey!” Jesse interjects in indignance. “I’m right here.”
“Be quiet, side piece. The wife and I are speaking.” Dina waves him off.
You burst out into laughter at Jesse’s playfully hurt expression.
The three of you discuss what the doctors have told you, and you eventually bring up the conditions required of you to be discharged.
“I know that the doctors and nurses saved my life and whatever. And of course, I’m very grateful. And I truly do not mean any disrespect,” You say. “But I want to get the fuck out of here, uhh, right fucking now.”
Dina smiles and Jesse chuckles.
“I know, babe.” Dina sympathizes.
“You’ll be out sooner than you know, bud,” Jesse adds. “Don’t stress over it. We’ll get you out as soon as possible.”
“Oh!” Dina suddenly pipes up and reaches into her bag. “I can’t believe I forgot. I brought your phone. I was able to grab your purse for you before the paramedics took you away. I turned it off and charged it at home, so it should have some juice.”
She places your phone in your hand, and you flash her a grateful smile.
“D, you need to be canonized for your good deeds, I swear. With a statue and everything.”
“Oh, I know,” Dina smirks. “Brought your wallet too. Not sure if you wanna keep it here or bring it back to your apartment, though.”
“I’ll ask them if I can keep it here with me.”
A thought suddenly hits you.
“I’ll… I’ll have to figure out how to pay for all this when I get out.” You sigh.
“Oh, babe,” Dina says reassuringly. “Don’t worry about any of that right now. Just focus on resting, okay?”
“Your insurance will hopefully take care of a huge chunk of it,” Jesse contemplates. “It’s through your dad, right?”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” You say as your hands begin to fidget anxiously. “Something as big as this, they’ll probably contact my parents. I… I can’t let them know I’m in here. I know it’ll start shit and… I just know it won’t be good.”
The couple give you identical, concerned looks.
“D-do they know? Th-that I’m in here?” You ask timidly.
“Not that we know,” Jesse replies. “Neither of them is on your emergency contact list. And you know that Dina and I would never speak to either of them. Unless it’s to tell them to shove a stick up their respective asses.”
You and Dina giggle.
“Speaking of which,” Dina adds. “You can ask your uncle. I called him yesterday while you were still out. I hope that’s alright.”
“Oh, that was so thoughtful of you,” You say gratefully. “What did he say? I hope he didn’t worry too much.”
“Honey, you almost died. Of course, he’s worried. He loves you.” She checks the time on her phone. “He should be arriving sometime later today, actually.”
“Shit,” You groan. “He didn’t have to do that. He gets so busy with work during this time of the year. This must have been so inconvenient—”
Jesse suddenly takes his thumb and middle finger and flicks you on the forehead.
“What the fuck!” You exclaim in indignance, rubbing the spot you were hit, as Dina gives him another hard smack on the head. Jesse ignores you both.
“You are more important than any goddamn job that exists in the world, in the whole motherfucking galaxy. Your uncle loves you, just as we do. So no more complaining about it, dumbass.”
You give him a pouty look, but his words fill your heart.
Your best friends stay the rest of the time until your uncle arrives around midday. Relief and affection overwhelm you when he enters the room. You squeeze him with the tightest embrace you can possibly give for someone essentially strapped to their hospital bed. You ignore the loud beeping resulting from the tangling of your many IV wires.
After your friends help you unravel all the cords, they gather their things and get up from their chairs.
“We’ll let you guys talk.” Jesse says, offering his seat to your uncle.
“Oh, you don’t have to leave.” Your uncle graciously assures them.
“It’s alright; have some family time,” Jesse insists kindly. “I’m pretty sure she can only have two visitors at a time, anyway.”
The couple make their way towards the sliding glass door.
“I cannot express how grateful I am for you two,” Your uncle says before they exit. “Thank you for saving her life. And thank you for keeping me in the loop.”
“Please, no need to thank us, really.” Dina nods kindly. “She’s family. We would do absolutely anything for her.”
“That means you’re both family to me too.” Your uncle concludes. “Thank you.”
You hold back tears of vast emotion from three of the most important people in your life exchanging such caring sentiments. You’ve never felt luckier.
“We’ll be in the waiting room,” Jesse promises. “Let us know if either of you needs anything, okay?”
Jesse and Dina take their leave, and your uncle subsequently takes a seat next to you.
“Oh, Uncle,” You start before he can speak. “I’m so, so sorry. You shouldn’t have flown all this way. I can’t believe I was so stupid to have—”
“Hey, hey,” Your uncle interjects. “None of that. You have no reason to be sorry. You needed me, so I’m here. I’m not mad, and this is not your fault.”
Tears form in the corners of your eyes.
“I just feel like I’ve inconvenienced so many people. If I could have just paid attention…” You lament. “And now I’ve totally made you drop everything to be here. I know you’ve still got work—”
“You are a thousand times more important than my job, sweetheart.” He shakes his head and squeezes your hand, echoing Jesse’s previous words.
“But…”
“You are my family. Nothing is more important than that.”
You smile at his adamancy.
“And especially since losing Rafael,” He continues. “I think of you as my own.”
“I know, Uncle.”
You squeeze his hand back in affection.
“D-did…” You suddenly say. “Did you tell—”
“No, your mother and father don’t know a thing about this.” He answers insightfully.
“Thank god.”
“Did you want me to tell them?”
You grimace. Your uncle chuckles.
“I figured as much.” He surmises.
“I just don’t know how to keep this from them forever, though,” You continue. “They’ll see it through the insurance company. I…”
“Don’t worry about that. I can talk to the nurses later today before I leave, see if I can pay it in full myself without needing to use your father’s insurance.”
“Uncle, please. Please don’t do that. This is going to be so costly, and you’ve still got your mortgage and Raf’s leftover student debt—”
“I just want you to focus on getting better, alright? I don’t want anything else on your plate right now.”
“Uncle, promise me. Please. Please promise me. Do not spend a single cent on this. I want to do this on my own. I’ll figure it out. Please promise me.”
He gives you nothing more than a smile in response.
Your friends and uncle take turns rotating as your company for the rest of the day. They’d only leave your side when the doctors and nurses needed to conduct extensive tests to ensure that you were still stable. You were never on your own for more than a few seconds, your loved ones determined that you not feel alone.
You’d turned your phone on almost immediately after Dina’d handed it to you. But as a small, gracious gesture of appreciation, you had set it aside to give your visitors your undivided attention for the rest of the day.
It wasn’t until the evening, when your friends and uncle waved you goodbye as visiting hours ended, that you allowed yourself to finally glance at your notifications.
Anxiously picking your phone up, the first thought you have is to call Abby. Jesse and Dina had mentioned she was with them in the waiting room the night before. But, like your friends, she was informed that she wasn’t permitted to see you in the ICU as she wasn’t family. Dina and Jesse sent her home with the promise to let her know as soon as possible when you finally woke up and that you were alright.
You notice that she’d messaged you earlier in the day. But much too embarrassed to face her just yet, you decide instead to first call your old freshman roommate.
Tara picks up after only two rings, almost as if she’d been waiting by the phone for your call. She greets you with a happy shriek of your full name, an amused giggle escaping your lips as a response to her sudden enthusiasm.
“Thank fucking god!!! I’ve been waiting all fucking day to hear the sound of your voice!”
“Umm, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You reply, smirking. “This is actually Satan, here to leave a message. I’m calling to let you know that I will be collecting your mortal soul sometime during the next 24 hours.”
“Oh nooooo,” Tara plays along. “What on earth have I done to warrant eternal damnation, Miss Satan?”
“Not sure if you know, but homosexuality is actually a cardinal sin. And unfortunately, you seem to be a notorious, flaming homosexual. I know, I know; it’s quite disappointing. But alas, I do not make the rules.”
“But Miss Satan, are you not a homosexual too?”
“Well, that’s exactly how I know it’s a sin.”
The two of you crackle at each other’s banter, and you make plans in your head to spend more time with Tara and the rest of the girls after you’re released from the hospital.
You and Tara chat for a little while about the most mundane things, like her classes the day before and her plans for the weekend. She apologizes for not having more to say and for “being so boring,” but you’re genuinely happy to just hear her prattle off about anything.
At some point, she hands her phone over to Astrid, who greets you with a similarly delighted shriek that her girlfriend had received you with prior. She gushes over you with love and concern, insisting that she and all the Wilson girls come to visit you as soon as you’re out and adjusted.
“Tara just about broke down when I told her about it.” She reveals. “She was about to leave for her shift at Ruston’s when Dina called, and I’m pretty sure the whole dorm could hear her sobbing.”
“What?! I did not!” You hear Tara shout from a short distance.
“You had so much snot running down from your nose that I just about hosed your face down before you left!” Astrid yells back.
“Stop telling her that! She doesn’t need to hear all that!!”
You giggle at the couple’s repartee.
“Anyway,” Astrid continues. “Kris, Sid, and I tried to come down for a visit, but they apparently only let family in. Jesse and Dina seemed to have monopolized the fake roles of being your family already.”
“Yeah, sorry about that, Addy.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry,” She brushes off. “I’m just glad that you haven’t been alone there. Those two really care about you, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Dina started to make a whole fuss when they wouldn’t let us past,” Astrid continues. “Threatened to sue the nurses, all the doctors, the entire hospital. The receptionist nurse didn’t even get a chance to kick her out ‘cause Jesse himself forced her to go leave and take a walk to calm down. I don’t think she came back until a couple of hours later.”
“Yeah, that sounds like our Dina.” You snort.
The two of you discuss what you’d like to do whenever you finally get released, Astrid swearing to get you out of your apartment nearly every day after your discharge.
“I don’t think I have all the stamina for all that, babe.” You chuckle.
“Then you better get yourself to the gym with Jesse, and build that stamina the fuck up! I want your sexy self at parties and clubs, living your best 20s life with us!”
You chuckle warily at this, simultaneously pushing away the reminder of who Jesse’s daily workout partner is.
After saying your goodbyes to Tara and Astrid, you make brief calls to the rest of the girls of the Wilson Crew. They all answer your calls with an assortment of jubilant greetings, each girl expressing their elation and gratefulness that you’re finally awake and safe.
You send individual texts of love to Dina, Jesse, and your uncle, thanking them extensively for coming to your aid and expressing your excitement to see them again very soon.
Having done your rounds of gratitude, you finally acknowledge that you can no longer ignore the unread texts of the blonde-braided woman you’d had your near-fatal dinner with. You open up your message thread with Abby to see that she’d sent you only three texts earlier in the day.
You stare at her text.
Oh. Huh.
No part of you blamed Abby for the incident; in fact, you’d been feeling a tremendous amount of remorse for putting her through such a traumatizing and jarring ordeal. It had been plaguing you so much since you woke up that you were far too embarrassed to ask Jesse and Dina more about her.
But something about her texts bothers you. There was very little warmth and familiarity in her messages. Her words didn’t seem that of the woman who had been walking you to your classes every day, who showed you off to her friends at the Bow and the Arrow, who treated you to a lavish restaurant on a fancy date. Who kissed you with so much passion on the sidewalk of that same restaurant the evening before.
Is… Is she angry with me?
You continue to stare at her strange messages for several more minutes, unable to process the situation you’re somehow in now. You can’t think of an appropriate response that would lead to something honest, so you decide to put your response off.
A-at least until after they release me… At least until I get home…
The doctors only began to discuss the possibility of your discharge early Sunday morning. Though it hadn’t even been a full two days since your admittance, it took everything in you not to practically beg them to let you go. You’d been insisting to anyone who’d listen that you were completely fine, that you’d walk right out yourself if you weren’t strapped to your bed with a million wires.
It wasn’t until midday, as you were mercilessly beating Jesse’s Shy Guy as Pink Gold Peach in Mario Kart, that Yoojin walked into your room with good news. You don’t notice her at first, too busy taunting Jesse for landing in 7th place while you scored 1st.
“You only won because I got Lakitu’d in the second lap! Fuckin’ Isabelle was sending red shells at me nonstop…” Jesse gripes.
“Sucks. Sounds like a personal problem, man.” You shrug.
“Alright, I want a rematch, but on the Egg course this time.”
“You’re such a sore fucking loser!”
“There’s a shortcut on Yoshi’s circuit close to where the finish line is, by the way,” Yoojin interjects, eyes smiling. “If you use a mushroom and drift to the hidden waterfall on the right, it’ll get you pretty far ahead.”
You and Jesse look up, a bit sheepish at her witnessing your juvenile behaviour. The nurse looks completely unbothered by it, however, and she approaches your bed as you place your controller down.
“Aww, come on, Yoojin,” You whine. “Don’t tell him that! I’m on a winning streak!”
“Shh,” Jesse shushes you, attempting to cover your face with one hand. “Don’t listen to her, Yoojin. She’s delirious from all the drugs you’ve been pumping her with. I must know all your secrets, ‘cause I swear, this one is cheating.”
“Maybe later,” Yoojin laughs as you flick Jesse’s forehead. “Because you might want to hear what your doctor just told me.”
Your ears perk up at this.
“I can go home?”
“Your most recent labs just came back, and everything looks good.” Yoojin nods. “And your vitals have been stable for the last 24 hours. So unless you plan on wolfing down ten pounds of shrimp sometime before leaving, we can get started on getting you released sometime later today.”
Your face breaks out in a huge smile, and you turn to grasp Jesse’s arm.
“Dude! I can go home!” You exclaim.
“Yes, I heard,” Jesse says. You can feel his smirk through his face mask. “Finally.”
You turn back to Yoojin.
“I can go right now?” You ask.
“It’ll take a couple of hours to make sure everything’s set for your discharge,” Yoojin says, chuckling at your eagerness. “But just hang tight, and you’ll be out of here in no time.”
“Why don’t you guys settle things here while I go tell your uncle?” Jesse offers.
Your uncle had stepped out to get some lunch at the hospital’s food court not too long ago. He and Jesse had arrived on the dot when visiting hours began earlier in the day. Dina had accompanied them but left shortly after to take care of other obligations, promising to be right back the second she was done.
“Oh, that’d be great,” You say. “Thanks, Jess.”
“No worries, bud. I’ll be right back.”
He gives you a pat on the head before leaving you alone with the nurse.
“So before you leave, we’ll go over a few things to make sure you don’t suddenly relapse during the next few days,” Yoojin begins. “And we’ll make sure you go home with a couple of new, unexpired EpiPens, just in case.”
You nod as she goes on to explain the plans for your discharge. You listen attentively, determined not to end up back in the hospital like this again. As Yoojin wraps up, you work yourself up to ask her a question that’s been at the tip of your tongue since the beginning of the conversation.
“Hey, umm, before you go,” You mutter nervously. “I wanted to ask about how much all of this will cost me. I-I know it’ll be pricey and all, especially with two brand new EpiPens, so I just want to be prepared.”
“That’s not really something I can help you with,” Yoojin replies apologetically. “That’s the jurisdiction of the hospital’s billing department. But I’m sure you can get it all settled with your insurance after you’ve been released. Depending on what you have, they should cover most of it.”
You give her a tentative smile as you wring your blanket between your fingers.
“A-alright then.” You sigh defeatedly.
It takes about two hours for you to finally be released from all your restraints and another hour until you’re finally walking out of the hospital and into the sunny parking lot. Yoojin allowed you a quick embrace before you left, insisting that you promise to be much more careful from here on out.
You lean against your uncle and Jesse for support as you exit the hospital’s automatic sliding doors, legs still a little shaky after being bedridden for so long. Dina pulls up next to you in her car and gets out to open the passenger door.
“M’lady.” She says with a bow, gesturing to the seat.
“Shut up, D.” You laugh, rolling your eyes.
“You sure you’ve got everything?” Your uncle inquires.
“I think so,” You reply. “Didn’t really bring anything with me.”
“Alright, well, I’ll head to my hotel room first so I can take care of a few things. I’ll meet the three of you at your apartment sometime later today. Sound good?”
You, Jesse, and Dina all nod in unison. Before he walks away, you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug.
“Thank you so much, Uncle,” You murmur. “It means so much to me that you came.”
“Anything for you, sweetheart. Anything at all.”
He gives you a quick squeeze before releasing you, promising he won’t take very long before walking away towards his rental car.
“So,” Dina chimes. “Wanna grab some gross, greasy non-hospital food on the way home?”
When you finally cross the threshold of your apartment, you’d already wolfed down the majority of your fries along with half a chocolate milkshake. You collapse onto your couch with a relieved sigh, your best friends falling next to you on either side. You lean your head onto Dina’s shoulder as you take her hand between both of yours.
“I think I’m about to go into the world’s longest food coma.” You decree.
“I’m right alongside you, dude.” Jesse agrees, having devoured one and a half burgers himself on the way.
“No comas, please, or we’re gonna have to turn right back around and readmit you into that hospital.” Dina says.
“Never again, please,” You beg. “If I have to hear the nonstop beeping of a heart monitor for one more second, I’m going into straight-up fight-or-flight mode.”
Your friends chuckle.
“Alright,” Jesse eventually says as he sits up straighter. “Now that you’ve been freed, what do you want to do first?”
You hum as you ponder his question.
“Get so blackout drunk that I totally forget this entire experience ever even happened in the first place?” You offer.
“Right, well, perhaps we can do something that isn’t completely stupid and detrimental to your health. Especially after you were just in the hospital after almost dying.” Dina retorts.
You boo her as Jesse chuckles.
“Well,” You continue. “I guess I should tell the girls I’m finally out. I promised them I would. Or did you guys say anything to them already?”
“Not yet,” Dina says. “They’ll probably want to hear it from you.”
You groan.
“You’re right. Ugh. I don’t think I can handle the sheer amount of screaming and excitement that’ll come with it, though. Kris sounded like she was going to smother me with so much love that I’d suffocate from it.”
“You can always put it off, at least until tomorrow.” Jesse counters.
“I guess so. You think they’ll be mad?”
“Babe,” Dina says, squeezing your hands and rolling her eyes. “You almost died. I think they’ll survive a day.”
“Alright, alright,” You giggle. “I probably should focus on getting work done before class tomorrow, anyway.”
“Ma’am, I know you are not thinking of going to your classes right after you were just in the hospital all weekend.” Jesse scolds sternly.
“I’m fine!”
“Dear lord.” Jesse sighs, exasperated.
“Like I said,” Dina repeats. “You almost died. School is not a priority right now. You need to be resting, not writing essays and doing homework.”
“I don’t want to fall behind!”
“Didn’t your doctor give you a school note before we left earlier? She said you can give it to your professors to excuse you from your classes this week.”
“Yeah, but it’s not mandatory or anything. I’m fully recovered now, so it just seems totally unnecessary.”
“Like hell it is!” Dina bellows before releasing your hands to stand up from the couch. You fall flat on your face onto her spot when her shoulder disappears from under your head, and you muffle irritated curses into the couch cushion. You look up to see she’s disappeared momentarily into your bedroom.
“D… What are you doing?”
Dina reemerges after a few seconds, your laptop in her hands.
“Babe. What’d you get that for?” You ask suspiciously.
“I’m emailing all of your professors myself to tell them that you will not be attending any of your classes this week. Especially since it seems that you want to be such a stubborn dumbass about it…” Dina says matter-of-factly, shoving your head away from her spot on the couch to sit beside you once more.
“Never should have given you my password.” You grumble as Dina opens up your laptop and easily bypasses your lockscreen.
“Alright, who are all your professors again?” She asks, opening up your browser to access your email.
“I’m not telling you!” You reply stubbornly, crossing your arms.
“Hmm… I know she’s got Olinick’s double class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mulligan at least on Mondays—” Jesse lists, counting your professors on one hand.
“No, no, no, I don’t!” You turn towards him, shoving your hands in his face.
“—I think Joslin from the English department too, but I can’t remember if that was last year or this year.”
“Jesse!”
By the time your uncle arrives at your apartment, you’d conceded to your best friends and allowed them to draft an excuse email to all of your professors. Dina opens the door for him after he knocks while you make final edits to your letters, and he settles into the ratty, secondhand armchair right next to the couch.
Your uncle chuckles at the scene before him: you with a focused look on your face typing rapidly on your laptop, Jesse leaning back into the couch while gently patting the top of your head as he continued to make suggestions to your email, and DIna taking her seat right back next to you before kicking her feet onto your lap as you lift and place your laptop on top of her legs. It had been a while since your uncle had seen you so relaxed around other people, the last time being right before your freshman year of college. His fondness for your best friends quickly grows by the second.
You look up from your work for a moment to smile warmly at your uncle, and he returns it with one of his own.
“Hi, Uncle! Sorry, I’m just finishing up this email to my professors.”
“No need to apologize, sweetheart. You telling them you won’t be attending any classes this week?”
“Yup,” Jesse answers for you. “Took a lot of bullying on our part to convince her not to overwork herself with school right now.”
“This dummy wanted to go back to classes right away as if nothing happened.” Dina rolls her eyes as she extracts a foot from underneath your laptop to kick you softly, earning her a stern “Hey, hey, hey!” from you.
“Well, thank goodness she has you two to set her straight.” Your uncle chuckles.
“Oh, she’s absolutely lost without us.” Jesse says, continuing to pat the top of your head.
Your uncle smiles. He can tell that Jesse’s joking around, but he knows that the couple have both been selflessly keeping you alive for the past few years.
“So how are you feeling?” Your uncle continues with concern etched on his face.
“Not so bad,” You admit. “Just so glad to be among civilians once again.”
You feel Jesse rub your upper back kindly.
“I’m sure,” Your uncle smiles kindly. “How about we talk about what you’re going to do now that you’re out?”
The four of you discuss what the next, post-hospital visit steps would be. They remind you of the check-up appointment you have later in the week, caution you once more about what foods you need to constantly be looking out for, and double-check that you have your new EpiPens handy and within constant reach.
“I still have my current EpiPen in the bathroom,” You say. “It hasn’t lapsed yet. So maybe I can give you each of the ones they sent me home with, if that isn’t too much of an inconvenience to either of you guys?”
You turn towards Dina then Jesse.
“You sure?” Jesse asks.
“Yeah, I mean, I obviously don’t want something like this to happen again. But if, by some hideous trick of fate, I end up in a repeat situation, it might be smart to just have one in multiple places. Just to cover my bases, I guess.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Dina nods. “As long as you have easy access to one at all times.”
“Yeah, that was my thinking too,” You agree. “Plus, I don’t want to have to use one of yours again, Jess.”
“Mm, I guess.” Jesse hums.
Your eyes meet his and you once again recognize his poker face.
“That sounds like a good plan,” Your uncle agrees. “Let’s try not to rely on just luck next time around.”
You give him an apologetic smile.
The sun had been set for at least an hour when Dina and Jesse finally took their leave. Both offer to stay the night, in case you suddenly need either of them, but you assure them that you’ll survive one night alone just fine. You embrace each of them tightly, putting every ounce of gratitude you have into your hugs.
You settle back onto the couch after you see them both out the door, and you turn towards your uncle still sitting in the armchair.
“I know I’ve said this probably a hundred times the past day or so,” You begin. “But thank you for coming, Uncle.”
“I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t come,” He replies. “Neither would Raf if he was still around.”
You both share a sad smile.
“I miss him, Uncle…” You whisper suddenly.
“I know. I do too.”
You sigh before continuing.
“I wish he was still here. I feel… I feel so incomplete without him around. Like this has all been an awful nightmare that I have yet to wake up from.”
“I know just what you mean,” Your uncle laments. “But our lives still go on, sweetheart. I think it’d make him sad to see us grieving him for the rest of our lives.”
“But… it just feels so wrong. It feels so wrong to stop grieving for him, to move on from him.”
“It’s not exactly moving on from him,” Your uncle ponders. “It’s more like… We make a place for him in our hearts. It’s sort of like he becomes a part of us. He’ll always be in everything we do.”
Your eyes well up as a childhood memory floods your thoughts.
When you were eleven years old, you had your first anaphylactic experience. You and Rafael were hanging out at his house, your uncle at work all day. You were making a mess in the kitchen, developing concoctions with half the contents of the pantry. As you were dumping a bag of marshmallows into a blender full of graham crackers and banana slices, Rafael fished an old bag of chips out of one of the cabinets.
The writing on the bag was all in a language you couldn’t understand, but the superheroes on the front seemed to be enjoying the crunchy snack. Raf was tearing the bag open before your greasy fingers started grabbing at its contents.
It didn’t even take two minutes until Rafael realized something was wrong. You were annoyed and taken aback when he slapped the chips out of your hand. It wasn’t until he was hauling you to the garage and strapping you into the passenger seat that you began to feel dizzy. By the time Rafael had driven to the emergency room, your skin had broken out into hives and your throat felt completely swollen. The last thing that you remembered before blacking out was your faithful cousin scooping you up and sprinting to the emergency room’s entrance.
You didn’t hear the end of it from your parents when you’d woken up from being unconscious after a couple of hours. Your mother spared no shame in relentlessly admonishing you, regardless of who was in the room, for your “stupidity.” The doctors and nurses offered you continuous looks of pity as they had to witness your many verbal lashings, though none stepped in to interfere. You were blamed for inconveniencing the family, for forgetting your EpiPen at home, for “forcing” Rafael to drive a car when he didn’t have his driver’s license yet, for obligating your parents to pay for your medical bills.
From that day on, your fear of your parents’ wrath was far greater than the fear of possibly falling prey to your fatal allergy.
All that gave you hope was your uncle and cousin coming to your defense. Unlike your parents, they showered you with care and love, especially Rafael who felt guilty and responsible for your admission. They nursed you back to health after you were released, Rafael promising you that he’d never let it happen to you again.
“Can I tell you something, Uncle?” You ask. “I didn’t even tell Jesse or Dina this. And I don’t think I ever could.”
“You never even have to ask, sweetheart. You know you can tell me anything.”
“I…” You gulp. “There was a point… while I was in the ICU that I was a little lucid for a few moments…”
You wring your fingers together in uneasiness as you stare down at your lap, unable to meet your uncle’s eyes.
“I… I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know I was going through anaphylaxis again. But I just knew… I felt that something was wrong with me.”
Your uncle listens to you intently, his chin on his hands folded as if he were praying.
“Something inside me… Somehow, I knew that I was dying,” You continue. “Or I knew that at that moment, I could die. I could keep going… or I could choose to let my body give out completely.”
You finally meet your uncle’s gaze.
“And I wanted to. I wanted to just… go,” You confess. “Not in a s-suicidal way. Not exactly, at least.”
Your eyes fill with thick tears.
“But… I wanted to be with him again. I knew that if I gave in, if I succumbed to whatever was killing me, I would see him again.”
Your bottom lip shakes as you continue.
“I miss him so f-fucking much, Uncle. I don’t know how to go on without him around. I’m so l-lost and confused, and all I want to do is talk to h-him about it. But I can’t. There’s n-nobody else in this world that I’ve ever felt as close to as him. Maybe except—”
You break off before you can finish, shaking off the memory of ocean green eyes and a constellation of freckles. The look on your uncle’s face tells you that he already knows how your sentence was going to end, but he says nothing.
“He told me he’d never let anything happen to me. He was always supposed to be here with me,” You sob. “I know that’s selfish. I know that his life didn’t revolve around me. But so much of mine did. I planned… I built my life to always include him. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?”
Your uncle’s sad eyes watch as you roughly wipe your cheeks of the tears uncontrollably streaming down.
“Sweetheart…” Your uncle begins as he stands up from the armchair to sit next to you on the couch. “You are not selfish. I know how much he meant to you. How much he still means to you.”
He takes your hands between his.
“I just…” You sniffle. “It’s been years. I thought I’d healed from it already. I thought I’d moved past all the pain.”
“It’s not a continuous thing, dealing with your grief.” Your uncle smiles softly. “You’ll have moments, hard ones where it’ll all feel raw and fresh again. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or selfish. You just have your own way of handling your sadness.”
You nod in acknowledgement of his words.
“But I think we both owe it to Raf to live our lives, to be happy without him around,” He continues. “His gift to us was time. Time with him and great memories. Even if he’s no longer with us, we’ll continue to carry that gift with us wherever we go.”
Your uncle smiles and you return it, though wistfully.
“I’m very grateful that you trusted me to share this with me,” Your uncle begins. “But don’t be afraid to talk about this with your friends. Especially those two.”
“Jesse and Dina?”
He nods.
“I see just how much they love you,” Your uncle says. “They seem like they would do absolutely anything for you. And I am so grateful that you have people like that in your life.”
“Yeah, they… mean so much to me.”
“I’m glad. So, please. If I’m not around, don’t be afraid to confide in those two. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you’d do the same for them.”
“I’d do absolutely anything for them.”
“Exactly. So don’t be afraid to embrace the love in your life. You deserve that. And that’s exactly what Rafael would want for you.”
You throw your arms around your uncle and sob into his shoulder.
You and your uncle continue to talk for a while until you realize that it’s nearly midnight. Like your friends, he offers to stay the night in case you need him. But you know his flight home was only in a few short hours, so you insist that he go back to his hotel to get a bit of sleep before he needs to leave for the airport.
It took everything in you not to beg him to stay, but you couldn’t bear troubling him further. And you longed to finally have some time to yourself, so you put on a brave face.
After your many assurances that you would take care of yourself better, you walk him to your front door. When you open it up, you both notice a simple brown box with a thin bow placed on top of your doormat. You pick it up, noticing how light it feels in your hands.
“What is this?” You mutter.
“You got a package?” Your uncle asks, looking at the box.
“No… I didn’t order anything.”
“Strange. Maybe your friends Dina and Jesse left it for you.” He offers.
“I… I guess,” You frown. “Although, I don’t really know why they wouldn’t just give it to me when they were here earlier.”
“Hmm, that’s true,” He hums, squinting his eyes at it. “A secret admirer, perhaps?”
“Ha ha, Uncle. Very funny.”
You give him an amused grimace before untying the bow and removing the lid. You gasp as you recognize what it contains.
“Oh…”
You drop the box and embrace its previous contents.
“My Barbie Bear…”
author's notes:
thank y'all so much for you patience waiting for this new chapter to come out. i literally wrote like, half of this while in the psych ward, and that was all the way in decemeber sldkfjlsdk
tbh i meant this chapter to be a lot shorter than it turned out to be but lskdjfs more content for y'all ig!
reader's first words after waking up is inspired by me saying, "i need to poop so bad" when the doctors were busy working on me in the emergency room lmaoooo
silver lining of me being in the icu back in december is being able to describe it in detail in this chapter hehe. being in the icu suuuuucked but mostly cause it was boring and cold and i wasn't allowed to get up to pee!!!
the nurse yoojin is named after one of my nurses while i was in the hospital. i loveddddd her, she was such a sweetheart and it made me so happy whenever she was assigned to me. i was rewatching arcane while i was in the hospital, and she saw and asked me about it, and then we gabbed about the show and league of legends (cause she religiously plays the game but hasn't watched arcane yet), and i eventually convinced her to actually watch the show heeeheee
reader’s uncle saying he sees reader as his own is what uncle iroh says to zuko in atla, fun little easter egg heehee (you know me and my love for easter eggs)
reader greeting tara on the phone as satan was how i first greeted my best friend when i was finally able to call her through the public phone in the psych ward (hi rhi LOL)
pink gold peach is my main in mario kart lol
reader's professors mentioned are all named after old professors from my former college's theatre department (rip dennis, miss you always ❤️)
reader’s uncle telling her “we make a place for him in our hearts” in regards to rafael is what tara in buffy the vampire slayer says to dawn when their mom dies (can you tell i love btvs)
working on the next chapter asap, lmk what you think of this chapter in the meantime!
also i made an ao3, so if you wanna read on there too, check it out!
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I Can’t Do This.
Sneak peek: Reader is recently off of a long-term undercover operation (similar to Emily’s) that left her in a bad way. Director Cruz reaches out, assigning her to the BAU. After speaking to her therapist and expressing her concerns, they come up with a solution of how to inform her new boss of some of the horrors she endured on her mission. Hotch keeps a close eye on her, being careful not to trigger her…until one day, he accidentally does in the worst way. ITALLICS ARE FLASHBACKS! BOLD ARE THERAPY SESSIONS.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) BAU! Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 5605
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI,YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, mention of canon typical violence, mention of therapy, reader attends regular therapy sessions, mention of a toxic previous “relationship”, mention of a previous dom/sub dynamic, murder, talk of trafficking, forced consent (reader is working the undercover op) mention of previous abuse and manipulation, some use of y/n, Hotch accidentally triggering the reader, let me know if I missed anything!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
“Y/n it has been three months since you returned from your undercover op, it’s time. The BAU needs an additional agent, and you’d make a great addition. It’s really not up for discussion.” Director Cruz ended with finality.
“I really don’t think I am ready. Director Cruz, I know it has been three months, and you guys have been so gracious with the paid leave, but I’m still working through everything I went through when I was under.” You explained.
“Your therapist and the FBI issued psych eval have both cleared you to return y/n. You’re joining the BAU. You’ll begin next Monday.” Cruz decided.
“Okay.”
With that you stood and exited his office. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the BAU, in fact, under normal circumstances you’d have been begging for this placement. But after everything you endured while undercover, you weren’t sure you could handle being on a team, especially not one run by Aaron Hotchner.
--
“You were recommended to me by Sheri, did she tell you anything about me?” He questioned.
“She mentioned you were looking for someone who knew how to follow rules.” You answered.
You had been assigned to an undercover operation in which a very powerful man would finally be brought to justice. Emilio Alvatorre, one of FBI’s most wanted. This man did unspeakable things and lucky for you, he was in the market for a new submissive. Normally the FBI wouldn’t jump at putting an agent in this kind of situation, however, in this case Emilio was known to keep his subs knelt at his side in his office. That would mean that you would be privilege to information that could take him down.
“So, are you good at following rules?” Emilio said in a voice meant to be sexy, but it was truly repulsive.
Leaning in to whisper in his ear, “The best.”
--
“I’m worried that Agent Hotchner is going to give me a directive and that I will follow it whether I agree with it or not. I am terrified that I have completely lost myself, and that I will just blindly follow.” You explained.
“Y/n we’ve talked about this, you are strong, you are capable of making decisions and speaking up for yourself.”
“Yeah but being at the BAU with Agent Hotchner, he’s a very commanding and dominant man, what if I fall right back into…” You trailed off.
“He is commanding and dominant, but he isn’t Emilio. I am going to give you some homework, and then I’d like to see you again on Thursday so we can go over it before you join the BAU Monday.”
“You’re right. What’s the homework?” You asked.
“I want you to first come up with a list of coping strategies for when you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed on the job. Then I want you to write a letter to read to Agent Hotchner giving him some insight as to what you have been through.”
“Absolutely not! Sylvia I can’t do that!”
“Y/n I am not asking you to give him all the details, just a little bit that might help him to know you.”
“Fine.”
--
You had a hard time figuring out what to put in the letter to Agent Hotchner, debating what was too much versus what was too little to say. How much did he need to know, how much were you comfortable sharing…it was all becoming a bit much.
Ultimately, you’d written something up along with a perfect list of coping strategies that you knew would satisfy your therapist.
After meeting with her on Thursday and going over what you came up with, and allowing her to help you tweak a few things, your body filled with dread, anxiously awaiting Monday morning when you’d have to go into the BAU.
--
Director Cruz escorted you to the floor that houses the BAU, bringing you into Agent Hotchner’s office for introductions. You felt like you had just walked out on a stage completely naked with the way all the other agents were looking at you.
“Hotchner, this is Agent y/n. I sent over her file last week. She is going to start with the BAU today.” Director Cruz announced.
“Yes, I saw your email. It is nice to finally meet you.” Agent Hotchner greeted.
“Y/n would you excuse us for just a moment, I’d like to speak to Hotch here.”
Without another word you followed the director’s order. You stepped out of the office and stood patiently waiting for their conversation to end.
--
“She’s anxious.” Spencer mumbled.
“Wouldn’t you be?” Emily replied.
“No, look at her, she’s digging her nails into her palms, a light sweat has broken out on her neck, her heartrate has increased slightly, and she hasn’t looked up at us once. She’s probably suffering from severe anxiety.” Spencer rambled.
“Don’t profile the newbie Spence.” Emily scolded, patting his shoulder.
--
“Alright, y/n go on in and Hotch will fill you in on what his expectations for you are.” Director Cruz headed off.
With a light knock, you awaited Agent Hotchner’s approval before entering his office once again. Mentally chastising yourself for your submissive actions.
“Agent y/n, please, have a seat.” Hotch gestured.
You sat in one of the chairs across from him.
“It says here in your file that you’re recently returning from a twelve-month assignment. I noticed the assignment isn’t labeled as classified, but quite a bit of it was redacted. Can you speak on that at all?” Hotch inquired.
“Agent Hotchner, if it is okay with you, I have somethings I’d like to discuss. Some of which is relevant of that case, but it is primarily regarding the effects that case had on me.”
“Go ahead.” Hotch nodded.
“The undercover op I was working put me in a position in which I was forced and manipulated to blindly following directions from someone. I had to do this for twelve months, and since then, I have had a pretty hard time finding my voice again. Certain things can be triggering for me, so I wrote up some things for you, with the help of my therapist. There are coping strategies that I may need to utilize and there are somethings there for you, to navigate situations that may come up.” You were worried that this was all going to lead to Hotch doubting your ability to do this job. “I also want to make it known that I told the Director that I wasn’t ready to return to work.”
“Thank you for sharing this, I think it’ll help me to make your transition back to work smooth. As for you being ready, I think you sharing that information shows a lot about your strength and I think you are more than ready to be here.”
--
“Kneel.” Emilio ordered with a snap of his fingers.
You slowly dropped to your knees, sitting back on your heels and resting your palms on the tops of your thighs, your gaze focused on the frayed rug that covered the hardwood floor in front of you.
“Bring him in.” Emilio spoke into the intercom that connects him to his security.
The guards drag in a man who appears to be near death, clearly beaten. Emilio rests a hand on your head, gently petting your hair before speaking in a tone you don’t recognize.
“I heard you’ve been snooping around. Talking to Jeremy and his guys.” Emilio spat.
“I haven’t sir I swear!” The man was begging for his life.
“I don’t like snakes.” Emilio raised his gun and shot the man point blank.
You couldn’t help but flinch at the sound. A strong hand was quick to grip your chin.
“Flinching is a sign of weakness. I can’t have a pet that is weak.” His grip tightened “Are you weak?”
“No sir.” You reassured.
“Good.”
--
Working with the BAU had been going well, Hotch had truly been incredible. He’d encouraged you to share your thoughts and theories while on cases. He also reminded you to use your coping strategies when the cases became particularly overwhelming.
Like today for example. The team was working on a case that was taking a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. Women were being kidnapped then brutally tortured and left for dead in the street. It was becoming increasingly difficult to detach yourself from what these women must’ve been feeling.
Hotch was quick to notice the change in your demeanor and he made it a point to assign you with Spencer at the precinct. You were tightening up the victimology while Spencer worked on the geographical profile. You had come to the conclusion that the unsub was targeting victims primarily on their looks, they had all been of similar height, had same color hair and eyes. Worse than that…they all kind of looked like you. The sound of Derek and Emily approaching made your stomach sink. Spencer had clearly picked up on your anxiety since you’d been with the BAU, but the others, not so much.
“Hey guys, what did you find out?” Emily inquired.
“Well, I’ve narrowed down the geographical profile. This area right here…” Spencer gesture to the map covering the screen “this is his comfort zone, all the abductions and dumpsites fall within this five-block radius.”
“What about you new girl?” Derek nudged you gently.
“I looked into all the victims, and they all were approximately the same height and build, same color hair and eyes. I spoke to Penelope; she confirmed that all of the women frequented the same coffee shop.” You explained.
Hotch, Rossi, and JJ all entered just in time to hear Derek confirm your thoughts…which led to a suggestion that made your heart sink.
“Y/n these girls all kind of look like you...” Derek walks over to where their pictures are pinned up to the board. “Maybe we should send you to the coffee shop undercover. It could help us find this guy.”
You heart was pounding, causing a loud whooshing sound to drown out your hearing. You closed your fists and dug your nails into your palms. You could feel the sweat breaking out along your forehead.
In and out…deep breaths. You reminded yourself of the coping strategies you’d come up with for instances like this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…
“Absolutely not!” Hotch commanded, shaking you from your thoughts while simultaneously distracting the others from your very obvious panic attack.
“Hotch man come on! She fits the victimology perfectly; it could end this case if she could catch his attention.” Derek argued.
“It’s not up for discussion. I will not send a new agent undercover, not until she is more comfortable on this team. Undercover ops like that require a significant level of trust, one that she may not have yet.” Hotch shut Derek down.
“We know he must go to this coffee shop; JJ and I could go in and watch. Keep an eye out for a man acting suspicious.” Emily suggested.
“Good, first thing tomorrow.” Hotch said before dismissing the team for the evening.
--
“Sir, is it safe to be talking about this…with her here?”
“Are you questioning me?” Emilio sneered. “My pet is well behaved. I wouldn’t have her here if I thought otherwise. Who are you to question my decisions?” His voice raised.
“I’m sorry sir! I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just wasn’t sure.”
“Don’t let it happen again. Now I’ll ask again. What is the update on the shipment?” Emilio demanded.
“There are going to be three crates in the shipping container. The boat is set to anchor Friday at midnight.”
“And everything we were promised will be there?” Emilio asked.
“Well, not the girls. This shipment is just the weapons.”
“Excuse me?” Emilio’s expression turned sinister.
You were knelt by his desk like always. This conversation had been one you were banking on; it was hopefully going to allow your team to pick him and his associates up. Only, this conversation had taken a turn that you weren’t expecting. His shipments thus far had only contained drugs and weapons, so why was he asking about girls?
“I was assured that everything would be included. How fucking hard is it to follow orders?” Emilio shouted, his fist slamming onto his desk.
You sat still, silently taking in the situation. That night you’d check in with your team and fill them in on the new information. You just needed to get the logistics of when the second shipment would arrive, and honestly, you were scared Emilio would kill this guy before you got that information.
“I know boss. They told me that the girls would be here soon. There was an issue getting paperwork for some of them. But it should all be worked out now.”
“I need a date and time. By the end of the day. Otherwise, you’re done.” Emilio hissed. He then brushed his hand over your head. “C’mon pet, let’s go to bed. And you, I’ll be expecting your call.”
Going to bed with Emilio had initially been the worst part of this assignment. Thankfully he’d had you STD tested which meant you were both clean, and he’d ensured you received birth control shots. The sex had surprised you; you had expected it to be rough and painful but, it had been soft and gentle. Emilio whispered sweet nothings to you, and he held you close, and he’d carefully bathe you afterwards.
It may be sick and twisted…but it didn’t bother you, having sex with him.
--
A light knock at your door had startled you. You made your way over to check the peephole, and there he was waiting patiently.
“Hotch, is everything okay?”
“I should be asking you that. Morgan was out of line suggesting we send you in.”
“It’s okay, really. He doesn’t know any better.”
Hotch gave you a sympathetic look. You could tell he was doing everything in his power not to profile you. You appreciated his effort, and it truly was endearing. Around Hotch, you’d started to feel more comfortable around him and his consistent care of you and your mental health had been the thing that drew you in. He cared so much, and it meant the world to you.
“You seemed nervous earlier, does that have to do with the undercover assignment you worked?”
“Yes.” You sighed.
In the last two months of being with the BAU, you and Hotch had been teetering this fine line of coworkers and more. It wasn’t necessarily leaning toward something romantic, at least that’s what you were both trying to convince yourselves of but, it had definitely become a friendship. Hotch had allowed you a safe space in which you were starting to feel like yourself again. He had never pushed you for information about your past and he continuously checked in with you to make sure you were comfortable and okay. More recently though, as things like what happened today occurred, you have felt like maybe you should tell Hotch a little more about what you endured.
“You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like you have to tell me anything! But if you should choose, I’d listen.” Hotch admitted.
“I was sent in undercover to investigate Emilio Alvatorre…” You began.
“Emilio Alvatorre? He was one of FBI’s most wanted! Lucrative arms dealer, importing drugs…I heard he was ultimately brought down for sex trafficking.” Hotch was stunned.
“Yeah, that was me. Emilio took part in a certain lifestyle; he is a dominant and he was seeking a new submissive…and I guess I fit the bill. He essentially owned me, and he referred to me as his pet. It was my job to follow his orders blindly, and I did.”
“What was it like?” Hotch questioned.
“Well…
--
“Good morning pet.” Emilio purred pressing a kiss right below your ear.
“Mmm, good morning sir. Can I make you breakfast?” You offered.
“No darling, the cook will prepare our meal. I think it is sweet you still ask.” His kisses travelled down your neck.
“Do you have meetings today?” You inquired.
“Today is all about you pet. We are going to get you some new clothes, shoes, and maybe a new necklace. I want to spoil you today! We are celebrating!” Emilio gushed.
It was the moments like this that fucked with your mind the most. Emilio could be so kind and gentle, he wanted to take care of you and in the time you’d been with him, it had been increasingly easier to let him. But then there were moments when he turned dark…the other side of him came to light and you couldn’t help but question your mind.
“Boss…” Emilio’s associate barged into the office, only to find you bent over his desk while he pounded into you from behind.
“Not now!” Emilio growled.
“But boss!” This guy really couldn’t take the hint.
Emilio wasn’t one who took well to being interrupted, in any aspect of his life. So, when this associate decided what he had to say was more important than Emilio’s time…you knew it would be bad.
Emilio’s hips never faltered, not upon the initial interruption and certainly not when he leaned to the side, grabbed his gun, and shot the man standing in the doorway. You pinched your eyes shut, knowing better than to react to the horrific sight before you. Emilio continued thrusting, his grunts becoming more erratic, and when he finally finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.
“Go run a hot bath. Get in and wait for me. I need to go see about this issue and get this cleaned up.” Emilio stated as he assisted you in standing upright.
“Yes sir.”
--
“It was really hard for me to deal with the two sides of him. I became confused and my mind was so foggy as to whether or not he was truly awful. And I know that so much of that is the manipulation of being his submissive, but I was with him for a year, it was easy to forget what things had been like before Emilio.” You trailed off.
“I can’t even imagine all the things you must’ve seen and gone through in that time. I can understand why you weren’t sure about joining the BAU initially…but I am really glad you did.” Hotch expressed, placing his hand atop your own.
“I’m glad I did too.”
--
The next morning Emily and JJ were sent into the coffee shop that all the victims frequented, and they couldn’t track the unsub. Either he was far too subtle, or he hadn’t shown up. The team was currently in the precinct trying to figure out the next steps, when Derek suggested it again.
“I still think y/n should go undercover, it’s our best bet in finding this guy. What do you say new girl?”
You were taken aback; your mind was screaming at you to decline. You weren’t ready for this, going undercover, blindly following team orders. It’s for the greater good though, isn’t it?
“I could do that.”
“Morgan, I already said it’s not happening. She isn’t ready.” Hotch commanded.
“Hotch, we have all had to go undercover. There is no reason that she can’t go into the coffee shop and order a freaking latte. We will all be there to keep her safe, just like any other case!” Morgan was practically shouting.
“It’s okay. I can do it.”
“Y/n you don’t have to do this. Not if you aren’t comfortable.” Hotch was obviously trying to profile you based on his expression.
“I’m okay. I’ll do it.”
--
You were ordering a coffee, meanwhile Spencer was sitting in the back of the café reading a book and Rossi was in line, about three patrons behind you. Hotch insisted on sitting at a table just outside the entrance to keep a close eye on everyone coming and going. JJ, Derek, and Emily were all in the surveillance van parked across the street, waiting for the signal.
After you received your coffee, you found a seat at an empty table. It wasn’t long before a man approached you. He was tall and clearly strong; he had a very sinister aura that gave you the chills.
“Mind if I sit here?” He asked.
“Oh, sure.” You agreed.
The man sat, but only after he moved the chair closer to you. He was talking to you, but you were having a hard time listening. You were silently begging the guys to come to help and get him away from you.
“You know, you’re really pretty. Why don’t we get out of here? We could go get lunch.” The man suggested.
“Oh, I’m not sure I should.”
“C’mon, be a good girl and get up.” His tone became more aggressive.
You stood up without a second thought, much to the unsub’s delight. He grabbed your arm in a bruising grip and began leading you out of the café.
“They’re on the move. Why is she going with him? This wasn’t the plan.” Derek exclaimed.
Hotch’s demeanor instantly changed. After you opened up to him about your previous assignment, he understood now why you had seemingly always followed orders willingly, only your willingness had been conditioned. Instilled in you through the manipulation of a very dangerous man.
“I got it.” Hotch
Hotch stood up and turned abruptly, purposefully plowing into you and the unsub. He made a move that shifted you away from the unsub and placed himself between you.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hotch feigned innocence.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going asshole. Let’s get out of here.” The unsub reached for your arm once more.
“She’s not going anywhere with you.”
“You want to bet?” he said, pulling a gun from his waistband and pointing it directly at your head.
You didn’t flinch, in fact you didn’t move a muscle. All the while everyone else sprung into action. Hotch tried to talk him down while the rest of the team surrounded him on all sides. You had stood there completely disassociated while this man threatened your life and ultimately met his untimely end via Emily’s weapon.
--
“Y/n would you please come to my office?” Hotch requested.
You silently followed Hotch to his office. You were wringing your hands, hoping that he wouldn’t reprimand you for your behavior today. You couldn’t handle disappointing people.
“You didn’t even flinch. You had a gun pointed at you and you didn’t even blink. You also willingly left the café with him, which was not a part of the plan we had discussed.” Hotch stated, his tone calm.
“I’m sorry Hotch. He told me to get up and I just…I wasn’t sure what to do. I know we needed to catch the guy.”
“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Hotch admitted. “I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt. I also don’t want you to agree to do things simply because someone tells you to. Like agreeing to go undercover.”
“I don’t know how to do that. Disagree I mean. I’m not sure I have that in me anymore.” You did everything in your power to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Y/n I’m not disappointed. I do think that it is very important you continue to work with your therapist.”
“I will.”
--
“…and I just stood there.”
“Y/n you we conditioned for over a year to sit still when any sort of firearm was shot, you watched people die right in front of you. You were covered in their blood and forced to remain kneeling until instructed otherwise. I can’t say I am entirely surprised that you didn’t react to having a weapon pointed at you. What does surprise me though was that you agreed to going undercover.” Sylvia finished.
“I knew it was our best option to finding this unsub. I fit the victimology, and I was able to fish him out. It was a no-brainer.” You shrugged.
“Now that sound like someone making a rational decision.” Sylvia smirked.
“Yeah well, after the case Hotch called me out and I felt like a child being scolded. I could barely hold back tears.”
“Why do you think that is?” She pressed.
“I don’t know. I guess, I’m afraid of not being good enough and worse, disappointing him.”
“The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself. Y/n you have made huge strides in the last five months and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will continue to do so.”
--
The months went on, as did the cases and your therapy sessions. Oddly enough, you had started to feel more like yourself. Things with the BAU have started to become easy, you were opening up little by little to the others and you were getting better at making your own decisions.
Hotch had also noticed the change. It had warmed his heart to see you really coming into your own, to really get to know the real you. Which had only strengthened his feelings toward you, causing him to work extra hard to shove them down. Rossi knew simply from the look Hotch gave you, but that’s a story for another time.
The team had been working back-to-back cases all over the country for the last few weeks. It had been exhausting and the team were getting to a point where everyone was snippy. Lack of sleep had led to a horrible lack of patience, and the local officers weren’t making matters any better.
“What if we were wrong, I think the unsub is a woman. I mean look at the attention to detail in the clean up and at how the bodies were presented.” You offered.
“Y/n could be right; a woman would take the time to be precise and it would explain the…”
Before Spencer could finish his thought, Officer Riley decided to provide his own theories.
“There is no way it is a woman. They don’t have the courage to take care of people like this. That’s why the statistic proves that the unsub is a man.”
“With all due respect, women are just as capable of murder as men, and when they do it they are often far more meticulous which is why that fits better here.” You explained.
“Well, with all due respect ma’am, I’ve been doing this job longer than you could walk.”
“Excuse me?” You couldn’t bother hiding your surprise.
“All I’m saying sweetheart, is that perhaps you’d be better off getting us some coffee.” Officer Riley sneered.
“Last time I checked, I’m the one working for the FBI and not some Podunk little police station in the middle of nowhere, Idaho. So how about you back off and let us finish our…”
“Y/N TAKE A SEAT.” Hotch demanded.
Despite your shock at Hotch’s tone toward you, you took a seat without hesitation.
“Officer Riley, please let my agents do their work. We have much more important things to be doing than arguing about the duties of a woman.” Hotch chided.
“Well, you clearly agree with me given the fact that you gave her an order. If you’d been on her side you’d have probably told me off.” Riley turned to you, “and you clearly do know how to listen to a man in charge. Perhaps I misjudged you.”
With that, Riley made his leave with a low chuckle, and you sat there considering what had just happened. Hotch had commanded you to sit down knowing full well you’d comply, that way he could deal with Riley without you continuing to tell him off. He used what he knew about you against you, despite all the conversations you’ve had with him. Despite him knowing full well your fear of blindly following orders.
“I can’t believe you.” You stood up and walked out, heading straight for the precinct exit.
“Y/n wait!” Hotch followed you.
As you landed on the sidewalk just upon the exit, Hotch’s had made its way around your upper left arm in a desperate attempt to slow you down and hear him out. Only you were in no mood to listen to him or anyone else right now. All you felt was the sense of betrayal blooming in your chest.
As he swung you back around to face him, you did something that shocked even you. You right arm followed around, landing a harsh slap to Hotch’s cheek. Your breathing was ragged, a look of surprise painting your features…a look of guilt flooding Hotch’s.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” You paused.
“No, Y/n I am so sorry I shouldn’t have-” Hotch pleaded.
“I need to go. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that you left, calling a taxi, and heading back to the hotel.
--
“YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?” Emilio Screamed, lunging toward you.
“Emilio I didn’t, I just…I”
Emilio wrapped his hand around your throat, harshly choking you as SWAT swarmed the shipyard. They quickly made their way to you, removing Emilio from his position over you. As they pulled him away you couldn’t help but watch him.
“Kneel Pet!” Emilio commanded.
You couldn't help but follow his order. Immediately dropping to your knees, resting your hands atop your thighs and letting your gaze fall to the ground.
“I will always own you! You will always be my pet, perfectly broken in!” Emilio hollered as they put him in the back of a vehicle.
“Y/n you’re okay, lets get you up and checked out.” Your unit commander suggested.
Only you didn’t move. You couldn’t get up, not without his permission.
That night, the paramedics had to sedate you to get you into an ambulance. And after that you were placed in a psychiatric facility for 30 days to help undo the brainwashing you’d endured.
--
“Sylvia, I slapped him. My boss, I slapped him right in the face!”
“Y/n you reacted to a situation and based on what you just explained to me, it seems like he knew he was in the wrong. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself and honestly, you should talk to him.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“Maybe tell him how you feel.” Sylvia suggested.
--
You spent the afternoon practicing what to say to Hotch, Spencer had been texting you updates of that case as it progressed. He’d let you know that they caught the unsub and were headed back to the hotel. So, as you opened your door to make your way to his room, you came face-to-face with the man himself.
“Hotch.” You gasped.
“Y/n can we talk?”
You moved aside to allow him access to your room. You couldn’t help but feel nervous about the conversation that was to come.
“Hotch, I am so sorry for slapping you! I was just-”
“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Y/n I am so sorry, I heard you going off on Riley and I knew that if you kept talking he’d report you and I’d be forced to suspend you, only I hadn’t considered the effect that me demanding you take a seat would have on you. I need you to know it was not my intention to take advantage of you like that and even worse, I shouldn’t have put my hand on you the way I did. You had every right to slap me.” Hotch explained.
“You were trying to protect me?”
“Riley had made threats of reporting our staff for going against orders of the precinct. I knew that he’d report you for your behavior, despite him clearly being in the wrong. I didn’t want to suspend you.”
“I didn’t realize. But Hotch telling me to take a seat, in the tone you did, it felt like I was right back there. Following orders without thinking. With you, I can’t explain it, I would do anything you asked me to and that terrifies me. My feelings for you only add to that need to do anything you say, to do anything to please you. I can’t help it.”
“You have feelings for me?”
“Aaron! Is that all you took from what I just said?”
“Please say that again.” He whispered.
“Aaron.”
He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. You could tell he was holding back and though part of you was begging you to walk away, the other was telling you to jump in. You thought about what Sylvia would say, and you couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh, knowing full well that she would tell you that only you can make the right decision, and it is okay to trust yourself.
“Aaron, I am terrified…and it is going to take me some time to fully trust myself again, but I really like you and if you’re up for it, I’d like to give this a shot. Unless you don’t feel the same way, then please ignore what I just said an-”
Aaron pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. One that told you everything you needed to know.
“I’m scared too, but I want to try this Y/n. I know that you’re still working to find yourself, I am willing to wait if that is what you need, but I am also willing to be by your side every step of the way.”
“I don’t want to wait.”
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