#a wonderful instrument :DD

[crystalmagpie447]

RUNS AROUND

GOSH I LOVE VIOLIN

[waterparksdrama]

hi there!! i'm newer to the realm of waterparks stuff (only really got into them during greatest hits) and based on the response to ip2 i guess i didn't realize a lot of people did NOT like ip?

when i listened to ip it def felt a bit incomplete/not as strong as their other stuff thematically or lyrically, so with ip2 i was hoping for a completion to the current 'story'. i'm anticipating that ip2 is just a wrap-up, and afterwards they'll continue with their alphabetical titles.

as someone who is more removed from waterparks fan spaces, i'm wondering what do you/other fans generally dislike (or like) about ip & how it compares to other albums? what kind of things are you hoping for future productions? i'm just interested to know! :)

i think a lot of the qualms older fans have with ip is that it’s so consumed by its insane lore that it barely makes sense just even with the first half of the album. it’s all tell but no show with shoehorned references to religion and “hypersexual” lyrics you could probably find on pop radio. not to mention the whole lamenting over fame thing again when he’s not even that famous he just has insane fans who track him online as much as he tracks them.

it’s like. the album isn’t as groundbreaking as awsten thinks lyrically and musically. the way he writes is so blunt sometimes they sound more like tweets than lyrics and sometimes blunt lyrics can work but he is definitely not someone that pulls off the sort of sardonic flat delivery that straightforward lyricists usually have when awsten is over-enunciating each word at max volume. and besides each song instrumentally just sounds like a parx song produced by zakk cervini; like you hear all these big elements that they love putting behind awsten’s overprocessed voice and it’s not really that interesting a lot of the time because of how expected it is from years of listening. and even when they do have more interesting songs like ritual, real super dark, or a night out on earth, they just kinda come off as toned down songs from greatest hits.

okay so maybe to understand where i’m coming from, i should probably make my comparisons of ip to double dare and entertainment. both dd and ent, while maybe a little less instrumentally experimental than their later albums, feel a lot more precise with their lyricism. dd establishes a lot of the themes parx repeat over the years with lyrics about falling in and out of love and obsession and learning the faults of the music industry firsthand. entertainment describes the on and off again feeling of a doomed relationship. both albums use unique imagery supported by a delivery that lets the listener pick up on those ideas (like how i can’t say jacket pocket without sounding like awsten in it follows). everything sounds more intentional than awsten just wailing about how he can’t fuck someone on ip.

my hope for other albums? awsten gets something different to write about. or at least doesn’t repeat the same 5 topics like a broken record or at least find something new to say about these things other than another song about “ugh my fans hate me ugh i hate the music industry im in love with this person actually no im not i lied”. also i think he needs to work with new producers instead of with new writers. i don’t need waterparks to sound like a one direction knockoff i want them to sound like a xiu xiu knockoff (if you can even imagine that). i think vincente void would be a cool producer for parx and id hope he’d lead them in less of the pop tryhard route they’ve been going and more towards something more unique - iz

[littlewalken]

may 22

More adulting today, just a cleaning, and I think I might reward myself with some mini food surprise balls should I feel like I need it. I was an adult and got the car's oil changed yesterday.

You know what would be nice? Looking up posts about Robert Sheehan and the only t*dd*es I see are his and not the pr0n bots. Nothing wrong with yiddies, don't even want to see his, I just want to know what he's up to and when to start looking for the next bare bones sprawl mart DVD.

I think I'm holding out for when they put out the entire series of umber bumber chute. I'd get Mortal Instruments City of Boners if it were cheap enough but only for Robert's scenes because I don't care much for blondie from the sparkling vampire movie who doesn't have much acting to fall back on when his looks fade. I have Michael Sheen's scenes and that's it, don't think I'm missing much to the sparkly vampire narrative.

Was struck with the thought that I have forgotten how to do split ring needle tatting and feel very rusty with the shuttle tatting and ought to do those when I need something to do with my hands. I can also get out a big cross stitch, like the Cinderella one, and have room to be able to leave it out and know it'll be safe.

I just have to watch myself because once I start something like a cross stitch or a puzzle or like a diamond painting I want to finish it. Could be good for listening to some of the audio books I have. I don't have many but several of them I got a discount on for buying with the ebook it's self so I might listen first then read to see if that helps stick in my mind.

Yo ho ho and all that but if you want more of Robert Sheehan or Brent Spiner reading their books or a recording of Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allan Poe or the long awaited Andrew J Robinson reading A Stitch In Time you have to show the money people it can be profitable. Just be selective and pay for quality not quantity. I'm considering getting Lol Tollhurst reading Cured too because he does have a pleasant voice.

The thought of Simon Gallup reading a long book just occurred to me. It makes me wonder if his speech pattern would be different if he had a script instead of just the drunken (insert small British folklore creature here) in his noggin that saw a bright light, thought they were on, and went in to Plainsong.

[distortedwhite]

thinking about why i hate spoilers so much

so i was wondering but. i didn't use to hate spoilers as much as i do now and i'm like ??? what the heck changed. i used to be normal(TM) and didn't care about whether i got spoiled or not

the source for my spoiler hatred is probably a fancover of Connect by ClariS. i was minding my own business and listening to songs on youtube, including this one. i knew nothing about pmmm but i absolutely loved the song, from their vocals to the instrumentation, so naturally i wanted to check out how other people would tackle singing this song.

and then some absolute Genius decided that hey we should take lines from the anime and put them into the bridge :DD and i was like Hm when a bunch of lines started playing, all kind of stacked on top of each other so i couldn't make out what they were saying. at the end the hit you with the bombshell of

[...] 違う時間生きてるんだから

and i was like what the Fuck. that was the biggest most unsolicited spoiler i've ever experienced in my life. i was there for the song and suddenly i got slapped with the biggest spoiler of the show. i got robbed of an experience just because i wanted to listen to a song i liked

[anislandintime]

Called ST after months. For no specific reason felt like calling her. When I called and the call was answered, the face that appeared on the screen was of BJ! It was unexpected. But I was happy to realize that the two were together. The last time I spoke to ST at length, she had spoken about some disconnect between the two and she wanted to withdraw from BJ because there was a lack of effort from his side. Since I went into a shell I did not know what happened after. Though once in a while I would remember the two and wonder what happened, I did not ask any of them in the last couple of months. To realize that they were still together was a matter of joy to me. Also, to see BJ having traveled to DD to meet ST shows how he is taking steps now and how he is making some efforts for the relationship.

Somewhere in the corner of my heart, I did hear a complaint... Since I played a decisive role in the two coming together, a corner of my heart did complain as to why things fall in place for others and not me? Why what happens to others with my intervention, doesn't happen to me ever? Though this voice was heard, it wasn't as strong as earlier times. I probably am making peace with this unfortunate and bitter truth that my role in life, in this world, is probably just to be an instrument of assistance and support to others and not find anything that I need, I desire. I dont know if that is okay. But I have no choice but to convince myself that it is okay.

[junjiie]

omg… you’re asking me for music recs 😧😧 ok uhhh most of these are just hozier ngl-

man in the box and good enough by xdinary heroes bc i just love those funky guys they’re great and those songs are both sooo good (the lead guitar player 😩😩)

hozier’s new album unreal earth has me regurgitating my soul and selling it to him in hopes i can obtain the rights to shove his music into a bottle and keep it on a chain around my neck. OK FIRST LIGHT AND FROM EDEN THOSE ARE WONDERFUL SONGS BY HIM IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY LISTENED TO THEM

sleep well, you and i, and poetic vulgarity by d4vd >>> those are mwah mwah (i think you and i has the same sort of vibes to tv girl songs so i feel like you might like it??)

HONEY (ARE YOU COMING) by måneskin!!!! newest songs of their’s. on the topic of this band, for your love is also so scrumptious

ok ok uh sage and gaslighting by onlyoneof are so- 😭😢😩😫 idk what else to say

last one: cashew by jude york is such a good song to walk down the streets listening to or laying down on the ground staring at the ceiling

i would love to rant more about the lyrics but i’ll let you give a listen to some of these before i comment and stuff :DD

OKAYYY!!!!! jj listening party go 😈

man in the box - the first 10 or so secs i was getting into it and I WAS GETTING INTO IT EVEN MORE WHEN IT SWITCHED UP? this is so evil its amazing omg

good enough - THIS BALLAD THING AFTER THAT FUCKASS EVIL SONG 😭😭 was lowk expecting it to switch up like mitb did LMAOO. it it was kinda good though like Okayy! they hitting those notes for real!

first light - WAIT THIS WAS SO ? fuck it up hozier.... Sky set to burst the gold and the rust the colour erupts like do u other guys even get it 😢😢

from eden - CRAZYYYYY THIS HITS SO HARD HELLOOOO. broke my door down punched me in the face and then emptied my wallet fr.. HE IS INSANE 4 THIS. i rly like the line “to the strand, a picnic planned for you and me” it j sounds nice!!!!! and the first bit of the instrumental (3:11 - 3:24) is SO FUNKY AND COOL.

sleep well - not totally my thing but i still kinda liked it ^ ^ when the drum beat thingy whatever (man idk what it was HRLSPP) kicked in at like 0:38 it gave me joji slow dancing in the dark vibes lowk :o

you and i - SO CRAZY GOOD AND FUNKY I LOVED IT!!!!!!!! a song it reminded me of kinda was money by the drums (SOOOO GOOD) but i see what u meant by the tv girl?! mayb the getaway ?! the desolation tango ??? HRLP IDK WHICH (BUT BOTH R ALSO SO GOOD!!)

poetic vulgarity - it was. ok??? rly sorry bsf but this one wasnt for me 😞 i dont think slow soft sad songs r my thing idk

honey (are you coming?) - NOW THIS IS CRYAZYYYY WHY HE FUCKING IT UP LIKE THAT. his voice reminds me of someone but I CANT THINK WHOOO i will lyk if i figure it out but it j hits the right way Omg 👍👍 very fun time 10/10 so much excellence.

sage - horny gay fuckers make GOOODDDD SHITTTT i was busting more than one move fr. ADDED TO THE PLAYLIST!!!! wait omg have u listened to ultimate bliss by ooo...... that shit is so good i start floating its crazy

gaslighting - BREAKING: these gay people gaslight me into thinking i was gay too.... 🙁🙁 THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD OH MYOGODODDDD. that funky little added sound in the bg that starts at like 1:30 is INSANE I DIED??

cashew - ITS SO GOOD BUT THE WAY HE PRONOUNCED DÉJÀ VU WAS KINDA FUNNY I GIGGLED. it was rly rly good though FUCK IT UP JUDE!!!!!!!!!!! NOBDOYT NODY DNODBOY NBODY NOBDY WANRTS U LIKE I DO!!!!

SOL. THNK U SMMMM FOR THESE ILY. I HAD SM FUN. JJ LISTENING PARTY OVER!!!!! DROP THE MIC!!!!!

[thebandcampdiaries]

The Nu Chic has recently released a new single: #higher

April 2023 - The Nu Chic, born Nikki Smith, is a singer and songwriter with a truly diverse sound. Her music explores a huge range of styles in a very seamless way. These include fusion, EDM, pop, and so much more. To add to that, The Nu Chic loves to use her music for a higher calling, infusing her message of hope, belief, and faith. As a Christian artist, she wants to cater to listeners who enjoy gospel music but also reach out to the greater music community with a positive message of hope, love, and understanding. #higher is a perfect song to accomplish that! On this release, the artist definitely managed to embrace a refreshingly fun and nuanced philosophy in terms of arrangement and composition. In other words, #higher seamlessly achieves a massive tone without overdoing it and loading up the song with way too many elements. It is really all about keeping it very spontaneous and direct in order to maximize the emotional impact and create a more genuine connection with the audience overall. The song kicks off with a dreamy synth melody, and the beat immediately acquires a very irresistible groovy feel, which makes the drum pattern so spicy, along with the bass line! The Nu Chic’s vocal performance is pure fire! Her energy is palpable, and so is the sheer passion that drives this amazingly talented singer and songwriter. The chorus has a very hopeful and uplifting vibe with a sing-along that is almost like an invitation: “Keep reaching higher!” This is a positive and encouraging message that really inspires the audience. Since the mix is not overly crowded, the TRACK feels very spacious and lush, with plenty of room for the vocal parts to really stick out. The sheer scope of the production will immediately capture your imagination. The music has a larger-than-life feel, almost hitting the speaker in a big cinematic way. These sounds are very evocative and create a strong texture rather than just focusing on a melodic line to remember. The fact that there are many layers to this release really allows the artist to achieve an extra sense of depth, making for a strong and balanced tone from the moment you hit the play button. #higher is ultimately a very powerful and inspiring song. It is the kind of music that serves as a strong reminder that anything is possible if we give ourselves to God and trust in the vision that He has for each and every single one of us. Only with faith can we truly become free, and #higher is a celebration of not only that but also of all people who choose to open their minds and hearts to this beautiful greater truth. In addition, the song is simply amazing from a musical standpoint because The Nu Chic sings from the heart and creates a fantastic experience for the audience. The song offers a very crisp sound, with a lush instrumental that matches the intensity of the vocals to absolute perfection. #higher by The Nu Chic is highly recommended to people who enjoy listening to artists such as Ariana Grande, as well as Tina Turner, V.Rose, CalledOut Music, Rachelle Farrell, Gawvi, Koryn Hawthorne, Michael Jackson, Prince, and many more. When not busy creating wonderful tracks such as #higher, The Nu Chic is also a music executive at LionFish Music Group, on a quest to flood this planet with beautiful, passionate, sincere, and amazing music that will make a difference in the life of her listeners. Find out more about The Nu Chic, and do not miss out on #higher, which is currently available on some of the best digital streaming services, including Pandora and Spotify:

Pandora: https://pandora.app.link/sMCfLOA2Zyb

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0bBldMlP9qxDig53vc1rOm?si=ELukVGAxSRGcHXkax50vEA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1E4wMGbgUIonS0&dd=1

Fans can also connect with The Nu Chic on social media!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamthenuchic

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/tha_nu_chic

[yuu-says]

On the topic of

Yahooo! Its been a while :DD I kinda fell off the writing wagon so that explains why I haven’t been around- don’t know when and if I’ll be back for good but for now :DD I come bearing a long ass headcanon brainrot post! Enjoy!!

Also,,, //waves vaguely at Kaeya’s part// idek what happened there i blacked out and it was done so uhhhhh enjoy??

On the topic of :

[ Touch ] ft. Zhongli, Xiao, Kaeya

Song(s) listened to while writing : Tokyo (instrumental) by RM, ECHO cover by Mafumafu ft. Nqrse

Zhongli

* I firmly believe this man is touch starved you cannot convince me oTHERWISE

* He fully leans into this trait of his, not shying away from physical affection even when the two of you are still friends

* Whenever you’re with him, you’ll find his hand gently circling your wrist - guiding you forward to a place that he wants to show you. A hand on your elbow as he gently pulls you up from  a rocky cliffside climb. A hand on the back of your waist, careful not to lose you in the crowds of Liyue.

* Zhongli is and has always been gentle with his touches - a trait that collided with his archon title but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

* His favourite way of greeting you is torn between pressing his lips on the back of your hand or kissing strands of your hair as he smiles up at you

* The love this man holds in his heart is simply too much for him to bear alone so every chance he gets, he expresses his affection through physical touches - even before the two of you were an item

* It gets worse (?) once you become his partner though

* He’s clingy when the two of you are in the confines of your own home - preferring to have you in his lap as he presses his lips against your skin

* its nothing sexual really- he just likes the feel of your warmth against his. So much so that he sometimes just speaks against your skin, hoping the words are audible enough so that he wouldn’t have to part from your warmth

* He likes having you in his lap - its easiest for him to bury his face in your neck and circle his arms around your waist, posture relaxing as you run your hand through his scalp.

* he wraps around you so much that when he has to go a certain period of time without your touch or your presence around, he starts instinctively reaching into the spaces where you would be; looking around the crowds to see where you had gone, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him whenever he came home early from work, expecting you to be in bed when he came out of the shower-

* Needless to say, you’re not gonna be leaving his embrace for a while after :’) just until he gets his fix :’)

 Xiao

* Xiao, like Zhongli, is also touch-starved but, unlike the old archon, he does not lean into it. Or rather, he thinks he hates being touched but he subconsciously does lean into it and if your eyes are sharp enough, you can pick up on his little habits.

* For the longest time, Xiao wont want to bother with things like affection or physical touches. He prefers to keep his hands to himself and prefers you do the same.

* It isn’t until one day, when you forcefully grabbed his hand to give him the little merchandise you picked up on your travels that reminded you of him, did he got thrown for a loop

* the feel of your warmth seeping through the fabric of his gloves has him????

* But alas, the feeling was fleeting and Xiao didn’t get the chance to process his feelings right up until you fell asleep against his shoulder

* Xiao stares at your sleeping form, hand subconsciously moving to brush the hair out of your face - the back of his hand slowly gliding across your cheek and, again, the familiar warmth of you seeping into his skin

* and then he freezes.

* Realizing that he, perhaps, likes the feeling of having you close a little too much.

* He’s so caught up in his own turmoil that he doesn’t notice you waking - you opening your eyes to the sight of him staring directly at you, hand on your cheek and head leaned close.

* He tenses when you call his name, pupils dilating as he stares into your eyes. A beat. Two beats. He mumbles a quiet apology but his movements is sluggish - almost reluctant to part from your warmth as he sits back and clears his throat.

* Things change slightly after. He becomes more open to physical touches - never initiating, but always lingering. Slow parting movements, eyes staring a little too long, very very subtle hints of acceptance.

* It’ll take a while for you to pick up on the change but please shower this man in affection when you do - even if he denies that he wants such a thing :’)

 Kaeya 

* The definition of the “At first I was like mMmHhmM physical affection as a joke but bro….I don’t think its a joke anymore,,,,,” meme

* Unlike the two, Kaeya is indecisive on where he stands. Its hard to grasp what he really wants unless he’s the one initiating it and even then you still have to decipher what it is he wants

* Playful, fleeting touches - touches that are meant to draw attention and to invoke a flutter in your chest is Kaeya’s game. He knows very well how to use his charms and will use it when necessary - so it isn’t a surprise that he would do this with you at the beginning of your acquaintanceship.

* “its to get you to warm up to me” he says, cheeky smile on his handsome face and your heart just jumps to outer space rip you

* He’s super casual with how he touches you - respectful, yes, but still very casual. And if you squint, very suggestive.

* a brush of a hand against your thigh, fingertips dancing across your skin as he moves your hair away, pulling your closer to his person by the waist - every touch of his is calculated so that he can make you the most flustered he can while feigning innocence

* it isn’t until he realizes his feelings for you does he put on the clown wig and reels his touches back

* Suddenly he’s aware of every brush of your skin against his; losing his composure and his sanity everytime you accidentally brush against him

* He doesn’t realize this, but sometimes his gaze lingers on your hand - its his most favourite part afterall. He wonders how close he could stand beside you while the two of you walked - just close enough so your hand would brush against his. Close enough so he could grab them and intertwi-

* “Kaeya?” he blinks. Oh. O h. He was already standing at your front door. When did that happen?

* “You okay? You’ve been dozing out the whole time,” you reach out to touch his cheek, wondering where his mind went to. His eye - eyes that were hazy with thoughts of you - suddenly cleared and Kaeya felt his muscles tensing at your touch

* He inhales shakily, staggering backwards as a he presses a hand to his lips - he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composURE

* Gone is the charismatic cavalry captain - the person who stands before you is none other than Kaeya - sweet genuine Kaeya whose heart swells with affection for you. So much so that he couldn’t stand it

* He leaves, a stuttered ‘good night’ falling from his lips as he basically ran away from the scene; he disappears for a bit after too and when he returns, he disregards your yells of concern and just-

* falls

* falls into your arm and into you embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck and holding you impossibly close to his own person. A mumbled confession, a sheltered apology, a gentle press of his lips-

* Kaeya finds himself seeking your touch afterwards - flickers of hesitancy colouring his actions at times, but easily mend-able once you reach out for his hand

[zooone]

mutual love!!!! inspired by @gaytoadwithapopcicle (anon love will come tomorrow,,, ,.,,.,.,.,, im tirired)

@lyssys - oh my goodness where do i even begin. um. the whole reason why im even here???? the whole reason why i love logging onto tumblr?????? the whole reason that im inspired????? uh. hello??? literally greatest person ever. ive said this before but they remind me of mumza and niki... as caring and sweet and open as mumza and as beautiful and empowering as niki!!! the best of the best... huge inspiration for me,,, and im lowkey still shocked that she was my first mutual and she (wonderful amazing beautiful lyss) asked me (rambling bozo) to be moots! but nonetheless it was absolutely amazing ofc!! i worship them soso much. deserves the world <33

@sardonic-the-writer - insanely similar to lyss'- where do i even begin. i used to literally freak out to your amazing writing. again, v v surprised that they (absolutely cool, insanely talented sardonic) asked me (someone who used to reel over their work and inhale it like air) to be mutuals!!! aaa i remember when they first asked,,, i recently hit 100 nd was playing guitar when i saw them ask to be moots! i had to put my instrument down so i caan get up and jump w joy :)) but anywho very very talented! and accepting as well, i dunno how they were able to withstand me and lyss spamming them w scrunkbut /affectionate. also the whole reason i have like half of my mutuals :DD couldnt have done it w/o u man :)

@gaytoadwithapopcicle - MY MANNN!!1!!!!! my pal my guy my brotherein my homeslicicle my bro...... another instance in which i got rlly happy when they asked to be moots!!! like okqoabajwjsjwmwnwbsmdm this insanely cool person wants to befriend me???!!!?!???? i was shocked, to say the least. but toad is so so so cool!!!!!!!!! im exteemely flattered to be their first mutual and i hope i made a well first impression of how it feels to have a moot!! but v v v kind and sweet and respectful!! i feel v safe and welcome in their dms and theyre the coolest absolutely

@harbingerofheartbreak - yet another moment that i was shocked when she asked to be moots (man, i really am a fuckin loser, huh? /pos) honestly one of the most, if not the most, talented writer i know. the grammar they use is immaculate whilst also being still comprehensive,,, the way they show emotion is picture perfect,,,,,, and to say that way she writes stories to flow so well it blows me away is an understatement!!!! if they released a book id be the first to buy /hj,,, but aside from their amazing talent, they're also so so so sweet too! v supportive of others work, and wont hesitate to be the sweetest ever!!! aaaa i love em sm :)) <33 /p

@gh0st-b0ys - a huge issue i have w myself is that i often think im too annoying, by ghostly never made me feel like that. id post something absolutely idiotic, and still get happy when they would like it!! didnt matter what it was, as long as i get a like from them, everything is alright :)),,,, also they said that they idolized me?!?2!1?1?1??1?!3?1!!?2! wtf!?2!?!????????!1!1?! /pos waaa i cant express into words how happy that made me feel.... i idolize people all the time and to know that someone is like that towards me makes it sm easier to get out of bed. and even tho we havent had a lotta interaction between each other,,, i just wanna let em know that theyre insanely cool :Dd

@pebblebrainlovejoy - proud to say i watched them grow 💪💪💪💪 i feel like a proud older sibling whenever i see their blog. i remember seeing one of their newer works (cant remember what it was but at the time it only had like 2 notes) and i thought "this is actually amazing,, this persons gonna blow up, i swear." and they did!!!! and im so so so proud of them!!!!!1!!1 honestly, i love seeing their blog on my dash and it makes me the happiest whenever i do. absolutrly amazing writer as well!!! i respect them not only as a mutual vut as a writer definitely. cant even describe how happy their work makes me,.,,, like its amazing,, i would recommend it a thousand percent to people absolutely <33

[beeeskneeess]

Hello and congrats on your milestone! 🥳💕

I would love to join your game, if possible. Number: 4. Initials EB. Emoji 🐒

Thank you already and remember to stay hydrated! Take care <3

hello!! thank you soo much!! :DD am a big fan of your blog!!

okay so the song i pulled is thank you for the music by ABBA

lyrics that stand out:

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before But I have a talent, a wonderful thing 'Cause everyone listens when I start to sing I'm so grateful and proud All I want is to sing it out loud

your fs may be a very artistic person or likes play instruments or likes to dance. and you may be their muse or inspiration, but i feel like this song has more meaning to it like i feel like you give their life meaning, and in a way they are saying thank you for whoever brought you to them. And words cannot capture how much you mean to them. i feel like you bring them soo much joy, and i don't think they can live without you. they may have thought you are out of their league or they wouldn't have thought a person just as great as you like them.

i hope this resonates!!

[terrm9]

Top 5 books?

Good luck with the family. I know how that can feel lol. Sending you so much love and I hope you're having a wonderful day, Terr❤❤

(Also, Merry (late) Christmas and if you don't celebrate, happy holidays)

Maurine my love <333 I am so embarasingly late to answering this haha I am so sorry </3 anyway thank you for your Christmas wishes :DD as for books, believe it or not I have been thinking about this all these weeks and I still cannot complete my TOP 5!

My top THREE are

1. Never Cry Wolf (by Farley Mowat)

2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (by Stephen Chbosky - I have reread this in three languages and, like, 50 times haha. It's beautiful and sad and touching and it always resonates with me)

3. The Man Who Planted Trees (by Jean Giono)

there are books (or better, book series) that formed me so much in my teenage years - Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, the Divergent series or even The Mortal Instruments, but I cannot call these my favourites. I love those books, or loved them the most at some point of my life and they are great but they 24-year-old Terr cannot call them her favourite hah :D

thank you so much babe <333 have an amazing weekend and dont forget to take care of yourself <3

[andypartridges]

tagged a couple of days ago by @whats-her-name-virginia-plain !! thank you <33

rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: my dad's called me musho and googly moogly since i was very small (googly moogly is from a frank zappa song and he's a huge zappa fan), but i don't really have any other nicknames bc my name is so short. i'm not really a nickname sort of person anyway - a lot of my friends have nicknames and i'm the only one in our group who calls them by their actual name

zodiac: gemini

height: 5'9

last movie i watched: my friends and i hate watched the kissing booth over discord the other day and needless to say it was absolutely fucking awful !!!! whiter than a wonder bread mayonnaise sandwich

last thing i googled: denial film quotes bc i have a history extension exam tomorrow

favourite musician: genesis, xtc, blur, squeeze, r.e.m., rush, glass animals, the 1975, declan mckenna, the church, split enz/crowded house, lush, the go betweens, the jam/style council, the chills, the beatles, etc etc etc !!!

song stuck in my head: vanishing point by new order

other blogs: i have a blur sideblog and a phil wang sideblog, both of which i do a very half arsed job of maintaining

blogs following: around 600 i think

amount of sleep: anywhere from 6-8

lucky number: 8

what am i wearing: striped shirt, pyjama bottoms with penguins on them, socks

dream job: music journalist/novelist - i love writing and getting paid to either talk about stuff or make up stuff is basically what i want in life

dream trip: france, philippines (to see the squeezeboss @glenntilbrook), dunedin (new zealand). i'd also like to go to england again to see my extended family

favourite food: i am an absolute slut for pasta

play an instrument: i've played guitar since i was 8 and i taught myself the ukulele (upside down bc im left handed) when i was around 13. i heavily prefer the guitar, it's more fun and challenging and one of the few things i think i'm actually good at

languages: i am only 100% fluent in english, though i talk to my mum in a jumbled mix of thai and english, and i can read/write thai. i can also speak french at a tentative b1 level thanks to 5ish years of classes - i once had to help some french tourists at an airport and apparently my french was good enough for them :')

favourite songs: my favourite song of all time is pink frost by the chills :-) other faves include mercy street - peter gabriel, love's crashing waves - difford & tilbrook, this must be the place - talking heads, this is a low - blur, hearts and bones - paul simon, talk about the passion - r.e.m.

random fact: uhhhh i once won a duran duran themed giveaway on this hellsite ??? i got to pick which prize pack i won and i managed to cop big thing on vinyl, a big thing concert dvd, all she wants is & do you believe in shame on vinyl, and a magazine with a dd article in it. 13/14 yr old me was absolutely vibing with dd drip

describe yourself in aesthetic things: the smell of new books, strawberries, clouds, jelly gouache paints, gold & silver star glitter, paperbacks stacked everywhere, tote bags, flared jeans, those altoids mint tins (even though i've never seen them in australia), coloured pencil doodles, handwritten notes and journals, rain, flowers, old vintage scientific diagrams, penguin book covers

not tagging 21 people but i will tag some of the besties: @bbbrianjones @glenntilbrook @hensons @stephenmalkmusofficial @cloudbear if you'd like etc etc <3

[proteuus]

heyo mr elliot proteus :DD have a picture of matt bellamy in a lab coat, not because you know who that is (lead singer and guitarist of muse, if you were wondering) but because i think he looks cool and i want to wear a lab coat:

anywho how are you doing at the moment of reading this? you play any instruments? i own a blue $5 untunable ukelele so. yeah.

cipher!!! hi!!! and thank you for the picture i Love the lab coat and silver guitar that is so sick, he Does look cool. lab coats are so sick.. do you listen to muse much? have a spare muse song rec?

and i am doing well!! as i type this i am listening to one day by lovejoy so banger city on that. also looking at a picture of a jellyfish very iconic. hbu, how are you? :-)

i do not play any instruments, although I would like to become passable at piano at some point in my life. I played as a kid and i watched that piano/violin anime and it was so good. blue uke is very fun, an old friend of mine used to play the uke it was very cool, shame that yours is untunable. perhaps you could turn it into a sculpture or a box of some sort 

[bush-viper-cutie]

Happy Birthday

Pairing: young!severus X reader

Word Count: 3,099

Rating: T for teen

Plot: It’s your birthday and you can’t wait to attend a big party where most of your fellow 7th years will be, including one Severus Snape. Ready to be more outgoing, you take a chance and participate in several fun activities that leave you wanting more.

Warnings: Bullying, kissing, steamy-ness

A/N: It was my birthday this week so I thought I’d write this quick one for everyone! If it’s your birthday this month then HAPPY BIRTHDAY and if it isn’t then a very late/early happy birthday to you :DD

Posted: 5/7/20

Masterlist

—–

(y/n) = your name

(y/h) = your house

(e/c) = eye color

—–

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Everyone who was anyone was going to be at the top of the astronomy tower tonight, ready to celebrate you and three other student’s birthdays. You made your way down the cold corridor, clutching your cloak tight to avoid a shiver.

Your shoes clacked on the dry stone and echoed through the corridor as you made it to the tower. You took it two steps at a time, ready for the best night of your Hogwarts life. You were normally shy, rather reserved, and focused on your studies all other nights, but tonight you were ready to be your dream self.

You could hear the music pounding on the door of the astronomy classroom and wondered how on earth no teacher had found out about it yet. You opened the door and the second you stepped through several people cheered, welcoming you in.

The room was open, of course since there needed to be a no ceiling for stargazing, but glittery streamers were still gently gliding high in the air, reflecting the changing lights of candles and torches on the wall. Some students in the back were playing their magical instruments of choice while laughing and keeping rhythm.

You turned and saw a pile of cloaks in the corner and added to it, freeing yourself for the night of your old self, ready to embrace the new you.

“(Y/n)! Over here!” a group of students were waving.

You smiled and ran over, jumping on your friend and giving them a hug, “This party is amazing!”

You looked around at all the students, spotting almost all (Y/H) seventh years – and some sixth years – along with dozens of other students from the other houses. No one was wearing their school uniforms, though the outfits seemed decent enough to get caught in.

“Drinks are over there!” your friend pointed over to a table with several chalices, “Careful though, its spiked.”

You nodded and left your group to grab a drink. The liquid in the chalices were orange and smelled like pumpkin juice, but there was a slight sparkle to it that seemed unusual. You held it to your nose and noted that it smelled amazing, almost making you want to chug it immediately.

You tipped it to your lips and took a sip. You were immediately hit with an immense sense of absolute joy and happiness. Euphoria! You jumped happily and skipped back to your friends, falling onto one of the cushions on the bench, careful not to hit your head on a decorated telescope.

“MMM! Who brewed the Euphoria? It’s amazing!” you chugged the remaining liquid, cheered, and vigorously set your cup down beside you.

“Those Slytherins over there,” your friend pointed to a group of boys. “James made them brew it if they wanted to be let in.”

You looked over at the group and spotted Severus Snape, Mr. Perfect Potions in every class you had taken with him since first year. “Of course.” He was first to finish, the only one who could actually follow the teacher’s instructions, and everyone knew he was the one writing several of the Slytherin’s essays since fifth year.

You remembered asking him once for help on a potion and receiving it easily, which had surprised you at the time. It was after that encounter that you had begun to distance yourself from several of the Gryffindors that picked on him and others like him. They always talked about how awful he was… but he had been so nice to you that day.

He was leaning on the wall on the opposite side with his arms crossed at his chest and long dark hair falling at the sides of his face. He was always clean shaven and quiet, which made you wonder what he was doing in a place like this, especially, with his four bullies just a few feet from him.

You smiled, If Severus can enjoy a party like this, so can I. You laughed at that. Severus wasn’t exactly enjoying anything, just leaning against a wall with his two friends looking at everyone else enjoy things. “Snape can brew a mean Euphoria.”

“That I can’t argue with.”

Your friends continued talking for several more minutes until the last birthday kid arrived which meant the festivities could fully begin.

James stood on a bench and kicked some cups out of his way, “I’d like to thank every last one of you for finding that Gryffindor braveness inside of you and risking your weekends from now until we graduate in a few months to come to this party!”

You clapped with everyone else but rolled your eyes at his theatrics.

“Happy Birthday Remus, my friend, along with the three other students who share his birthday who have also helped put this party together,” he disheveled his own hair and jerked strands out of his eyes. “Let’s have cake!”

A giant cake appeared in the center of the room where five large blankets were spread out. The cake divided itself up into small pieces and James instructed everyone to gather around. A candle popped out of every piece and Remus, you, and the other students stepped forward.

The candles and torches went out and the cake candles lit. Everyone started singing the shortest birthday song most wizards knew and you blew out your fourth of the candles in one blow at the very end. Everyone clapped and Remus got an extra toast from Sirius and Peter.

Several students went back to talking and dancing, but a majority of the students stayed seated in the circle. You knew exactly what was coming. It had been the talk of the school for a month now and at first you knew there was absolutely NO Way you were participating… but now you felt really giddy and excited about it.

“Cake Talk is about to begin so,” Sirius looked at Severus and the other Slytherins, “anyone who doesn’t want to participate LEAVE.”

He stared at them a minute and laughed. Severus frowned and made to stand but his two friends held him down in his spot. Severus crossed his arms and stared back at Sirius, standing his ground.

“Fine then. Let’s begin,” he looked at Severus again and fake gagged, making several students laugh.

The cake floated higher in the air except for a single piece which stayed at mouth level in the air. A bottle of clear liquid appeared under cake piece and everyone clapped. The music was loud but you could still somehow hear the bated breathes of everyone as they waited for something to happen.

Suddenly, the blankets lifted two students from opposite sides of the circle and quickly carried them to the center.

“Ooooh,” the crowd cheered them on.

They looked nervous to face each other but nodded, waiting for someone to yell out a personal question.

“Have you two done it!”

Everyone burst out laughing, making the two students blush. You covered your mouth, remembering the rumor going around school last term about them getting caught in the broom closet.

“Cake.”

“Cake.”

“Boooo,” the crowd yelled.

The two students decided not to drink the Veritaserum to answer the question and leaned forward, eating the single piece of cake at the same time until their lips touched. The blanket picked them up again and sent them back to their original spots. Another piece floated down and the process began again.

The blanket chose several Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, but now this was the first time a Slytherin was chosen forward. There were a handful of them in the circle, but the first one chosen was none other than Severus Snape.

He was sent forward, catching him by surprise, along with a male student. Laughter arose and Severus looked straight down, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

Sirius threw out the question, “Would you rather kiss the giant squid!”

“Cake,” Severus answered, causing a roar of laughter from the room.

“Talk,” the male student drank from the bottle. “I would rather kiss and marry the giant squid!”

“We all would, mate!” James clapped.

Severus and the other student were sent back and the cake piece stayed floating, waiting. More students went but your eyes were focused on Severus still. His arms were folded and his head was bent so low all his hair had come forward. Something was growing in the pit of your stomach. Guilt? Anger? This game was unfair and the Euphoria was either starting to wear off or it was no longer strong enough to hold back certain feelings.

The blanket was choosing again and this time James leaned forward and smacked the blankets with both hands. Severus and a female student were sent forward. This time Severus sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

“What’s Snivellus remind you of?”

“Cake,” Severus folded his arms again.

“Talk,” she took a swig and burst out yelling, “A greasy slug!”

The Slytherins booed but the other students cheered. They were sent back again and two new students were chosen. Severus tried getting up to leave but the blanket had taken hold with a velcro-like strength.

You wished the game would end already. Him and most Slytherins were being treated so awful. You wished you were back by the punch admiring the music and blowing Whispering Bubbles over the edge of the tower with the other students.

You were staring off into the night sky at all the bright stars when you felt something lift you up and you turned as you were rushed forward to the center. You almost yelped but you held your mouth closed until you were set back down.

You looked up and saw the intense black eyes of Severus Snape. His arms were folded but for as long as you looked at him, he looked at you. You blushed and turned away, dreading whatever question was going to be thrown your way.

“You a virgin?”

“Course he is!”

Severus frowned and mumbled his usual reply, “Cake.” He looked away, almost agitated that everything was taking so long.

You looked around and saw you friends looking at you through almost closed fingers. They had warned you not to participate but you didn’t listen, all too eager to have your first kiss.

You breathed out and looked at Severus, making up your mind, “Cake.”

The crowd gasped and went silent. Severus looked up with parted lips, clearly shocked by your choice. He closed his mouth and swallowed, blushing deeply.

You looked at the cake and leaned forward, waiting for Severus to do the same. You looked into his dark eyes as he put his lips to the cake, ready to follow your lead. You took a bite out of the corner, followed by him, both heads tilting in opposite directions. His nose rubbed the tip of yours as another bite was taken, and then another.

He smelled wonderful, you realized. Like a library full of books and a freshly watered garden mixed with the obvious scent that belonged to him and only him. You swallowed the spongy bread with ease and found yourself eager to get to the center, ready to connect lips with him at the last bite.

You closed your eyes and breathed in the sugary smell of the expertly whipped frosting, opening your mouth and closing your lips around the tiny bit of cake, savoring it. You felt his lips touch yours and it felt like a jolt of electricity had traveled from your lips to your chest.

For a second you forgot where you were, the music stopped, and all you could feel was Severus’ breath incredibly close. You swallowed the last bit and pressed forward still, feeling a bit of frosting smear your parted lips as they connected with his. He tasted like vanilla and you found your tongue searching for any leftover sprinkles on his tongue.

He tasted even better than the cake and you couldn’t help but reach for him, grabbing his sweater and pulling him in closer. You shut your eyes tighter as you felt your lips grow warmer and begin to tingle. You felt the need to get closer, to press your body against him, but you had to remember where you were.

You pulled away and gasped, keeping your eyes locked on his as he caught his breath. He was blushing and smiling, entranced by the moment as much as you were. You wiped the white frosting off your lips and sucked it off your thumb slowly, wanting to capture his gaze even longer.

As sudden as the first time, the blanket lifted you up and rushed you back to your spot. You smiled and covered your mouth, searching for Severus’ onyx eyes again. He glanced up at you from his spot and looked down, an obvious smile playing at his lips.

The blanket no longer felt like velcro and you took the opportunity to stand up and walk over to the pumpkin juice hoping to still your racing heart. You turned and hoped Severus was following, but saw it was James and Sirius instead – the only two of their group of friends who had already gone and were free to leave.

You took a chalice and chugged it down, needing to lift your spirits to deal with James and Sirius and whatever they were about to pull.

“Well that was…” Sirius looked to James.

“Surprising, I’d say.” James looked over at Severus who was looking over from the back wall.

“Couldn’t have been that nice if you had to rush over here and chug the juice down,” Sirius yelled a little louder than you had wanted.

You glanced over at Severus who looked away, clearly upset by what he had heard. Even then as James and Sirius tried to make him seem unlikable, your heart was still racing and your lips still ached for his. You turned to them and shoved the empty chalice in their hands.

You walked towards Severus but he left for the other side of the room. You needed to tell him how much you loved it. How you felt like you wanted more, needed more of him. You sighed and waited by a bench for your group of friends to be done.

The torchlights were dimming, and the candles were going out as the hour went on. The night was close to being ruined and there was only one last event that could save it. There were less students but still an enormous handful, and Severus was with his friends talking and drinking one cup after another, that stayed behind.

Cushions from all four houses were being summoned and set on the floor as couples took their spots and claimed each other’s lips. You gulped and decided to use that ‘Gryffindor braveness’ James had mentioned and made your way to Severus.

Him and his friends were getting ready to leave when he saw you. He frowned, making himself look even less approachable than normal, and folded his arms.

“What.” His tone was harsh and it made every hair on your body stand on end.

“Will you join me?” Your voice was louder than you that it would be and was pleased. Maybe you were brave, and just never used it.

His face shifted along with his tone, becoming softer, “Join you?”

More candles were getting put out and you stepped closer, feeling your heart start to race again and your cheeks flush once more. His friends were annoyingly still around, obviously easily engrossed in the drama and you realized this room was the last place you wanted to be with him in.

You smiled, finding it easier to keep talking, “Join me in the empty Ancient Ruins classroom bellow this tower.”

You winked at him and saw his face light up. He nodded and pushed his friends away, thinking the same thing as you about privacy. You took his hand and led him down – taking your cloak with you – and ran giggling into the completely dark and empty room.

The second the door shut you pinned him to the door and pressed yourself against him, kissing him as deeply as possible. You could feel a rush of excitement overtake you and a wave of ecstasy wash over as he moaned behind his smile.

He pulled you in closer and wrapped his arms around, hugging you tight. You stood on your tip toes and unlatched his arms, grabbed his wrists like cuffs and pressed your knuckles to the hard surface behind him. This was the first time you had ever done anything like this and was surprised by your sudden actions.

You had him pushed against the door with his wrists pinned above his shoulders and was currently trailing kisses down his jaw, slowly turning them into bites around his neck. What surprised you most of all was how much he was enjoying it.

You could feel his chest rise and fall with his heavy breaths, matching yours. He turned his head, giving you more of his neck as you nibbled and pulled at his skin. Little red marks were appearing now and, pleased with them, moved back up along his jaw to his mouth.

The moonlight shining through the high windows created a magical glow around you in the silence of the room. Severus eagerly took your lips and hummed with pleasure. You let go of one wrist and trailed your hand down his body, allowing his free hand to do the same. He gripped your waist and pulled you closer, pushing you against him.

“Go out with me!” he blurted out quickly.

He let go of you and you stepped back, watching his face go red. Your happiness overtook you and you started giggling, unable to help thinking how incredibly cute he was. He was covering his face with his hands and shaking his head, his dark tendril-like hair swinging softly and only his nose poked from between his tightly pressed hands.

You smiled and continued giggling, attacking his nose and hands with soft kisses, “Gladly, Severus!”

He looked up and smiled, fixing his glittering black eyes on your (e/c) ones, “Really?”

You stepped closer and stood on your toes once more, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing him passionately. He smiled behind the passionate kiss and wrapped his arms around you once more.

You broke out into a million pecks and finally responded, “I would love nothing more.”

He leaned down and rested his head on your shoulders, breathing softly on your skin, “Happy Birthday, (y/n).”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Masterlist

[hpowellsmith]

Hi there! May I just say that I am in love with Crème de la Crème? I don't think I could list all the things I love about it there's so many 😁 I do have a question though, and forgive me if it's already been answered, but how would the ROs (and our bff Gonzalez of course) react to hearing the MC singing or playing an instrument like no one was watching? Sorry if this has already been asked, Tumblr's search function is failing me today 🙄 and thank you again for this wonderful story! :DD

Love this! It isn't something I've written about before and I'm very happy to think about it today!

Gonzalez would be so into it no matter how good the MC was. If it was something cheery or fast paced they'd join in pretty badly but enthusiastically! If it was something slow or sad they'd applaud a ton.

Hartmann would stop and listen, but if the MC hadn't notice them they might not make themselves known - they like hearing the MC just being themselves in the moment without scrutiny.

Max would listen enthusiastically and be on tenterhooks to surprise the MC by joining in (pretty well! They've got a nice singing voice).

Freddie would be totally charmed and would quietly wait until the MC was finished before bursting in and saying how much they enjoyed hearing it.

Delacroix would listen quietly and then wander off. The MC wouldn't know they'd heard it until Delacroix said something later about the song it or music relating it to the MC's personality.

Karson would listen and love hearing it, and would make an obvious noise when coming in so the MC could stop if they were embarrassed. If the MC wasn't embarrassed, Karson would tell them how nice it was to hear them chilling out like that.

Blaise would complain about the poor sound insulation in whatever location they were in, but would hum the tune on and off for several days afterwards.

Auguste would be a little bit taken aback and wouldn't know how to interact with such an uninhibited expression. They would try to give a compliment about the MC's confidence but it might come across accidentally backhanded.

Florin would take the instrument off the MC and play it themselves, or give the MC an impromptu singing lesson.

Rosario would get very dreamy over it and ask the MC all about the song or piece of music. They might buy a gramophone record of it if they could - or one for each of them if they were long distance - and listen to it every so often because it makes them think of the MC.

Thank you for the ask and for the kind words! I'm so glad you've enjoyed playing Crème de la Crème!

[jemej3m]

HAVE U EVER THOUGHT OF A BAND!AU?? i love band au's and ur work!!! (not to mention but i think u would write an excellent drummer!andrew)

are you kidding me??? have i ever thought of a band au? bruh i breathe band au’s

also, i wanted this to be soft, so have some childhood friends starting a band out of their mum’s garage :DD

*

“Can I now?”

Neil ducked his head, trying not to show Andrew his grin. “No, ‘Drew.”

Andrew cocked his head. “How about now?”

Neil turned around and arched a singular eyebrow at the man. “You cannot shove your drum stick through Kevin’s brain, Andrew. Not now: not ever.”

“I hate you,” he muttered. Neil just grinned. 

“You say the sweetest things to me, ‘Drew.” With that, he turned and continued to tune his acoustic. Behind him, Andrew was going bright red. 

What started as a friendly, neighbourhood band had turned into something else entirely: Neil and Andrew were cramped backstage, tuning and warming up. Kevin was probably talking to his mom on the phone, whilst Nicky was most certainly trying to escape their security detail and go flirt with fans in the event centre’s foyer. He could charm a crowd. 

They’d started the band up when they were just kids: Neil remembered Kevin grabbing him by the sleeve and dragging him across the street, where he’d noticed the three Dobson boys setting up instruments in their garage: Nicky on bass, Aaron on keyboard and Andrew on his drumkit. 

Neil, having been only 11 whilst the others were 12 or 13, wasn’t as outspoken or enthusiastic about joining them as Kevin was. 

“Come on, Neil,” Kevin insisted, dragging him by the elbow. “I’ll sing and you play the guitar. Okay?”

“It might be fun, Neil,” his sister, Dan, insisted, giving him a gentle push out the door. “It’s just messing around in a garage band. Nothing serious.”

If little Neil knew where he’d be, nine years later, he probably would’ve spontaneously combusted out of paranoia and fear. 

Adult Neil still got anxious - he always wanted to perform his best - but it’d taken years of gigs and scouts and labels to work them up to where they were now. It was a gradual process, which definitely helped the whole stage-fright thing. 

“What are you thinking about?” Andrew inquired, sitting down behind Neil and hooking his chin over Neil’s shoulder. He smiled, leaning back against his best friend. 

“Just stuff,” he responded. “How we got here. Where we’ll go.”

“Next stop on the tour is D.C.”

“Funny.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed, deadpan. “That’s what I’m known for.”

Neil just laughed, getting to his feet. “We’d better get ready before Kevin comes back.”

“Your brother is the worst,” Andrew grunted, following suit. 

“At least we’re not related,” Neil grinned, jostling Andrew’s shoulder. “You can’t talk: you’re Aaron’s twin.”

Andrew just pointed a stick at Neil in warning. 

*

The lights were flashing. Audience screaming. Neil opened his eyes out of his reverie and looked to his counterparts: Nicky was rushing up and down the front lines, giving out as many hugs as he could. Kevin was waving and blowing kisses. And Andrew - 

He stood behind his drumkit, shirtless and dripping with sweat. He still bore his armbands, brimming with blades and secrets, and in his hands he loosely held his favourite pair of drumsticks, a pair Betsy had bought him, one’s he’d been careful to not break. 

Neil’s mouth was dry as he walked over to where Andrew stood. A spotlight blazed from above, shrouding Andrew’s head and illuminating his hair like a golden halo. He looked angelic. He was angelic. 

“You were amazing,” Neil said, voice lost under the cacophony of the crowd. His hand was reached out, gently brushing the bare skin of Andrew’s bicep. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore: the post-show euphoria was driving him. 

Andrew didn’t need to hear him. He could read lips. Read intentions. 

They were ushered off the stage soon after, Neil’s ears still ringing, his fingertips still burning. Andrew tugged on a fresh shirt, a towel around his neck. He had the most laborious job out of all of them, save maybe Kevin. Neil looked away from the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck. 

“Good show,” Kevin panted, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. Neil nodded, the exhaustion of playing for four hours settling in. His shoulders ached, fingertips raw with playing both his guitar and the keyboard (Neil filled Aaron’s vacancy when he’d fucked off to college) whilst his throat ached from countless harmonies and backups he sung for Kevin. 

Genuine praise from Kevin was rare and prized for their band, and was usually reserved to the few moments after a performance finished. Then he’d go back to his regularly scheduled criticisms and evaluations. 

“Wasn’t it?” Nicky grinned. “We are such hot shit sometimes! Anyway,” he slung his guitar off to the side, careless. Neil winced a little. “I’ve got a cutie waiting in my car, apparently.” He winked. “His name’s Erik and he’s built like a wall. I’ll see y’all tomorrow!” 

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin said, not unkindly. They were all used to Nicky’s antics by now. He looked back to Neil. “You gonna stay with Andrew or me?”

Neil narrowed his eyes. Was he going to stay with his brother or his best friend? The choice wasn’t exactly hard to make. 

Kevin put up his hands. “What? I thought you two’d had a lover’s spat or something, before the show.”

“Kevin,” Andrew warned, voice low. 

“You guys weren’t as synthesised as you usually are,” Kevin continued. “Did Neil say something, again? Neil, what did you do?”

“Kevin,” Andrew snapped. 

The man took his final warning with a grain of salt and rolled his eyes, peeling off to cool down and head back to the hotel. He left Neil standing in the middle of the corridor, baffled. What the fuck was he talking about? A lover’s spat?

“Don’t think too hard, junkie,” Andrew muttered, fingers hooked into the collar of Neil’s shirt. “He’s just sprouting his usual bullshit.” But Andrew couldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Right,” Neil agreed, smiling weakly. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“Shut up,” Andrew tugged him down the corridor with a finger hooked through Neil’s belt loop. 

Neil went willingly. He always went willingly with Andrew. There was no one else in the world that he trusted more.

*

“What do you mean, you’re not a thing?”

Neil paused with his fingertips up to the door, ready to push it open. It seemed as though he had stumbled upon a conversation - perhaps not for Neil’s ears. 

“He’s not interested,” Andrew said, sounding exhausted. “And I’m not about to pressure him into something he doesn’t want.”

Huh. Maybe they were talking about a new guy. Andrew didn’t date that often - or very successfully - and he was usually not willing to talk to Neil about it whenever it did happen. Neil wasn’t quite sure why but respected his boundaries nevertheless. He just didn’t know that Andrew went to Kevin about it. 

Neil wondered who it was, this time. Roland? He’d been the most long-term thing Andrew had ever attempted. No, Andrew said he wasn’t interested in Roland. Unless he was lying. 

Andrew doesn’t lie to me, Neil reminded himself. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kevin insisted. “He’s been in love with you ever since he first saw you. Don’t give me that look, Andrew. Put away your knives.”

“Do you think so?” Andrew asked, voice low. Gravelly. Tainted by disbelief.

Something in Neil’s chest tightened. He sounded…hopeful. Neil was arbitrarily jealous. Who was this guy? 

Wait, why was Neil jealous?

He pushed against the door, ignoring the way that the two of them shifted so that it didn’t look like they were engaged in conversation. 

“We’re loading up the bus,” he supplied. “Time to get moving.”

And if Neil noticed the way that Andrew walked around him, careful not to brush their knuckles, well. 

He didn’t say anything. 

*

By the end of the third week, Neil couldn’t handle it anymore. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, or why Andrew was so adamant in avoiding him, but he hated it. He hadn’t felt this isolated since his early years when his father would shut him in a wardrobe and his mother would scold him for eliciting his father’s ire, before both of his parents died and Wymack adopted him into his strange little family, brought him into the tiny cul de sac  where Betsy Dobson and Abby Winfield lived with their own collections of abandoned kids. 

“Andrew,” he mumbled as he watched Andrew tuck himself into his own bed. They were sleeping in the same hotel room but they were millions of miles away from each other. Neil felt stiff and confused. 

Resigned, he shut the light off. 

*

“Fix it,” Kevin demanded. 

“Fix what?”

“Just tell him already. It’s getting nauseating.” 

Neil narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kevin threw Neil’s lyric notepad back at him. “‘Living limbless, lost, lonely, ever since you went and left me’? What do you mean, what am I talking about? I thought you two were already together - now he’s saying you were never interested? What the fuck, Neil. You’ve been practically married for years.” 

Neil blinked. “Me and -”

“Andrew, yes, who else?” Kevin continued, irritable as he scrawled down new ideas. “You’re so fucking dense sometimes - ow!” 

Neil stuck out his tongue, satisfied with the large black line his thrown pen had left behind. He fished out another pen from his bag and kept writing, letting Kevin’s banter distract him from how painful his chest felt. 

*

The tour was ending. They were looping back to South Carolina. Andrew hardly looked at him anymore, let alone spoke to him. Kevin looked at Neil with pity. Nicky tried to cheer everyone up with icecream. 

Neil couldn’t understand why they were falling apart. What had he done? What had he said? 

The screams irked him. They sounded less ecstatic and more afraid. Neil was falling apart onstage, overthinking. They’d just played for Charleston, one of their last stops on the tour. 

The curtains came down. Neil couldn’t move. The others were already off the stage. Neil couldn’t breathe. 

“Neil,” Andrew said. He couldn’t look Andrew in the eye. How was he to explain that Andrew’s estrangement had left him in such a miserable state that he could hardly perform without breaking down? 

“Neil, look at me.” 

Neil closed his eyes. “Whatever I did - I’m sorr -” 

“Abram,” Andrew whispered, before pressing a bruising kiss to Neil’s lips. His eyes flew open, though he didn’t move. It didn’t matter: Not a moment later, Andrew ricocheted back, hand over his own mouth. In his other hand, his favourite drumsticks snapped, falling to the floor in uneven halves. 

By the time Neil had opened his mouth, Andrew was gone. 

Neil spent the drive to the pub they’d chosen to ride out their performance high in silence. Andrew was stoic and unmoving, silent despite Nicky’s attempts at conversation. When they arrived, Neil felt like he wanted to throw up. 

It was bustling at the late hour, but dark enough to slip in unnoticed. Neil followed Andrew up to the bar: at one point, someone shoved into Andrew and Neil felt him press Neil against the marble top, warm from shoulder to shin. Neil wanted to lean back into him. He wanted Andrew to look at him, to talk to him. He wanted Andrew back. He wanted Andrew. 

Quickly, he turned around, ignoring the bar tender when he asked if he was sure he wanted a virgin martini. Andrew was right there, pupils blown, cheeks red. Angry. 

He was furious. 

“Andrew,” Neil insisted. “Why -” 

He grabbed the tray of drinks and disappeared before Neil could form a sentence. 

And - well. Neil wasn’t known for subordination. 

He waited patiently for the others to get drunk and disappear into the crowd, like they always did. Sometimes Nicky dragged Neil with him, if the night was right. Andrew usually just sat, patiently waiting for his family to return to him. His whiskey sips were cautious and slow. 

Tonight was different. As soon as they were alone, Andrew stood, knocked back the entire glass and strode towards the exit. Neil let his breath hitch and followed, almost jogging in order to keep up with Andrew’s stride. 

“Andrew, this is insane,” he said as they walked down the street, leaving the bar behind. “I’m losing my mind here. Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you even look at me? What did I do?” 

“Exist,” Andrew snarled, hands curled into fists and shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket. 

Neil ran ahead of him, almost tripping over the uneven sidewalk. They’d walked far enough that they seemed to have removed themselves from any remnants of the club, and instead were stood in front of a circular, patheon-esque church and its haphazard graveyard. 

Andrew stopped walking and stared. In the moonlight his skin was pale enough to be translucent. 

“Tell me,” Neil whispered. “Truth for truth. We promised, Andrew. To never lie, to never leave. Why did you kiss me?”

“You promised,” Andrew corrected him. “I swore I would have your back. Does that have to constitute being attached at the hip?” 

Neil crossed his arms, petulant. 

Andrew’s sigh was aggravated. “It was never meant to be a problem.”

“What was?”

“You.”

“Andrew -” 

Fingers curled in the collar of his shirt, then slipped across the warm skin at the nape of his neck, then tangled themselves into Neil’s hair. Andrew pulled their foreheads together, squeezing his eyes closed too tight. Neil wanted to iron out the crease between his brows. 

“‘Drew?”

“Shut up,” the man croaked. “Shut up. Shut up.”

“Andrew,” Neil said, weakly. “I wanted to kiss you.” 

Andrew’s nails dug into Neil’s scalp. “No you didn’t.”

“Yes,” his fingers carefully found their way onto Andrew’s jaw, forcing the man to look up at him. “I did.” 

Andrew just swallowed, red-cheeked. 

Neil pulled Andrew closer, head dropping to Andrew’s shoulder. His heart throbbed like a drumbeat, heavy and insistent and never, ever out of time. “Is that what this is about?”

“No,” Andrew lied. 

“I think I like you, ‘Drew,” Neil whispered into the skin of Andrew’s neck. “I think I really do.” 

“I hate you,” Andrew managed, sliding his hands around Neil’s waist and holding him close under the Charleston moonlight. “I hate you.” 

“I know,” Neil managed, closing his eyes. It made a lot more sense, now. 

Between their erratic breathing and racing pulses, a drumbeat formed.