#a whole bunch of shit i dont remember
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Fire emblem three houses is so funny like why are all the knights so irresponsible about their students. "Oh we though Monica ran away to home-" NOBODY CHECKED??? THE OCHS FAMILY IS MENTIONED BY SEVERAL OTHER CHARACTERS DID NO ONE WRITE A LETTER. WHAT.
#fe3h#crow rambles#replaying crimson flower and its just so funny to me#like it took yall a whole year to figure out she didnt just run off?#how many students run off that they. dont look into it.#oh wait i vaguely remember something about ochs working with twsitd in hopes but its been like. two years since i played it#either way they are way too fucking casual about it#like. hello.#even if the ochs family works with twsits SOMEONE had to notice how odd it was#the church is so like.#irresponsible with their students its crazy#rhea sends a whole bunch of teenagers to kill their classmates brother to. prove a point or some shit?#sends a student to put down a rebellion startes by his own adoptive father so that one no one thinks to question the church#crazy.#yall can like rhea all you want i however hate her ass#so glad cf was my first route because like#geniuenly i thought she was the main villian#i got to the end of verdant wind for the first time and went 'hahah so when do we fight rhea?'#then the credits started rolling i was BAFFLED#fire emblem
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thank god for indie devs making like tiny little maximum 10 megabyte freeware games on itchio keeping the art of filesize optimization alive. ASSET REUSE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im watching a video about wario land music -> 'the bizarre music and sound design of wario land 4' by geno7#good video so far! i like this guys stuff. he talked a bit about how they did some of the sound effects for warios voice#a very like. chopped and remixed sample style of doing his vocal lines. which is very cool 1) because it saves a bit of#precious space on that gba cartridge BUT ALSO 2) it just sounds cool and interesting stylistically#and man sometimes trying to keep a file size down really does give way for some really interesting stuff#on my own personal interests in games i ADORE rpg makers rtp and how people can find creative uses for it#i love that a bunch of games can draw from the same asset pool as one install on ur computer#no bloating your hardrive with a bunch of copies of the same assets - its just already here!#and from a developers perspective i love when they reuse old assets from other games in new weird ways#some small visual novel companies will reuse backgrounds and other assets#altho i dont mind a bit of bloat with VNs since a big draw can be the big pretty images and big pretty sounds#but its still cool when people find ways to get creative with space saving. and from a players perspective its also nice#space is cheap nowadays. but its not Free. we can swallow terabytes whole with micro sds and everything#but a lot of players dont get the chance or ability to upgrade their internal memory that often. so i think being considerate of filesize i#very important. and thats not even getting into the download bandwidth limits - a lot of people all across north america can only get like#internet from 1 provider and that 1 provider often likes to upcharge and limit shit because they can#we might live in a future where a lot of powerful technology exists. but access to that tech is another story#so remember the filesize. remember the filesize.#dies in your arms
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[long post of israeli bullshit propaganda]
oh i wonder if this person cares about "the joos"?? maybe their racist bullshit is at least backed up by a veneer of caring about antisemitism or something-
the FIRST post you see on this zionist shithead's blog:
if you dont know what this is, it's fascist "the west is collapsing because women get rights" crap. it's very very stock standard for nazis. you got it all here, you got ableist r-slur, you got "darkmaga" pepe frog, you got "rome fell because women!!!" and "abortion is evil and an afront to god" and "controlling the reproductive resources of the West is a necessity" crap.
but oh yeah go ahead and tell me that zionist freaks are very Jew-friendly and not right wing fuckheads, and that we should bother engaging with empty handwringing over false claims about "the left are the REAL antisemites" anymore.
it's a fucking joke.
#once again this shit is infuriating because it keeps taking up oxygen when really the thing that matters is Palestinian liberation#what MATTERS is Lebanon and Palestine being safe from bombardment and genocidal terror attacks.#i dont engage with these pro-israel fuckers because it's giving them my time and space. block and ignore. do not give them air.#another day another 10-30 accounts filed away in the blocklist because they just cant fucking help themselves#the israeli agitprop game on this site is terrible not only because they suck but they also suck at it and they're just spewing vapid shit#claims about rising antisemitism on the left have been red herrings the whole time btw. by rule of large numbers you WILL get fuckheads#but like be serious here. the least likely bunch of people to do that. like what on earth are people doing anymore falling for this nonsens#remember that the stats of rising antisemitism are not attributed to right wing attacks on Jews that actually really occur but are about-#pro-Palestinian actions and protests. like please stop feeding this narrative because look what you get. these MAGA shitheads peddling it#they are laundering antisemitism through pro-israeli bullshit machines and you have nazis out in the streets going unchallenged#except for by THE LEFT. the people out there marching and fighting fascism and imperialism.#every goddamn day i have to dodge a minefield of people cosplaying oppression. of people pretending to be Jews or actual Jews who are RW#that's a thing! apparently! RW nazi Jews??? on this goddamn platform. every fucking day. fuck all yall poisoning the community here#israeli bootlicker cunts leeching off the image of Judaism and riding the Holocaust all the way into covering for a live-streamed genocide.
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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#. hm.. thinking about la chopper ……. mayb he shud look like a capybara#fucked up deer looking human thing whatever creature#solar-talks#i was talking abt this w my sister but like i think it was a really fun choice not to disclose how kuina died in la#like when i first watched his backstory in la i really thought he was going on some revenge quest or something#so watching ep19 was really fucked up actually i remember being real iffy about it but god the Layers#zoro’s thing with fate and not really luck but his acceptance of wtvr outcome he gets is doing some cocomelon shit tio my brain#itd b so neat if they revealed her death in loguetown like Come On having it right beside the kitetsu scene would b such a smart choice#WITH TASHIGI god i hope they give tashigi a little more something#ok now im thinking abt the la changes …#what iv noticed is how they seemed to isolate the eastblue kids from their islands a little more .. not exactly a flaw tho#zoros basically the same but usopp didnt have his oh my god i just realised usopp didnt have his babyguy gang oh my godddd THAT was what was#missing my whole train of thoughts derailed NOOO USOPPS BABYSITTER CHARACTER TRAIT …….i get it they couldnt fit the vegetable kids bc#of the tone but waugh…. primarily hanging out w a bunch of 8yos says so much abt him………. it was cute#anyways back to it yeah they didnt syrup village noticing his absence and the rest of baraties connection w 3ji which honestly i dont#really mind either i think the only ): to me was how they did cocoyashi#lost a bit of it’s depth my making them hostile to nami tbh#its a good thing i watched the anime After la bc i feel like i wouldve been way sadder abt that decision#these arent real complaints btw the la did a reaaallyy great job#if they didnt i really wouldnt be here thinking about this show . in depth . god how did it come to this SKFHDJFJSHF#anywho . they missed some bits of course but oughhh they did baratie really good ..#ill b honest zeff n 3jis backstory is seriously my favorite thing about the la#some absolutely breathtaking execution it really Got Me ..#the all blue speech …. taz skylr yuoure line delivery skills are insane#whats rlly crazy is how when u take away 3ji’s 1 flaw hes fucking unstoppable . why r u favorite character material . explode forever#head in hands its the themes of hunger .. hate it here so bad …..#ack he grows on u like mold . it was the stupid curry filler episode that got me i rewatched a while ago goddd hes so annoyinggggggg#the curry filler ep was cute . i liked it . <- mad about it#ugh spent 2 hrs writing these tags i dont wanna do my psychology essay .. nico robin save me ……. save me nico robin ……………..
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Today ain't a good day
#vent#the adhd is adhd-ing super bad ive made so many stupid mistakes#ontop of that i have really bad brain fog where i just feel ambiently shitty#and its stupidly busy at work + short staffed + whole bunch of shit to get done by myself im guessing#and i guess i fucked up counting money yssterday and got written up for it#AND got a complaint about me from some random customer i dont even remember#thats not even going into all the other things ive been stressing out about like moving and job finding and dog rehoming#its all just too much at once#my insecurities are flairing up bad too#its just really shitty right now
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new glass animals album save me.... save me new glass animals album
#i remember when they were doing promo for the last one bc i got crazy into the theory and deciphered a bunch of shit#i dont think im gonma get as involved this time. but i AM curious abt what direction theyre going in#the hitchhikers guide themed website..... colossal green flag 2 me 👀👀👀👀👀#i have so much respect for them i love how far they get into the concept around their albums. its a whole aesthetic package#i hope they tease it for months#even if they start going in a different genre direction to my tastes... rearranging the universe to still be a GA fan#itd be sickening to see them live again tbh. hands down they make THE best produced shows ive ever been to#god when they were teasing the last album i was still dating my ex. the passage of time crazy bro#.diaries
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I LOVE LEAVING WEIRD AND UNSETTLING COMMENTS ON INSTAGRAM POSTS‼️💥‼️💥‼️💥‼️💥‼️
#saw a video of someone talking about an encounter with a weird kid in school#so i left a comment taking about one of the weird kids i went to school with and i started with an already weird tldr of something he did#when we were in middle school and then i said 'anyways he tried to murder our friend last year'#and now i get a bunch of messages just saying 'WHAT' 'HUH' 'ARE YOU SERIOUS'#yes i am serious that guy was always a fucked up creep and even my ex bsf let his shit slide when she literally dated him and he spent the#whole time trying to coerce her into sex#i also beat his ass like twice he deserved that shit#anyways the way he tried to kill our friend was by getting into a fist fight with him and when he escaped he barricaded himself in his room#with his ex gf and then the crazy mf pushed the fridge in front of his bedroom door and when they tried to escape he'd pepper spray them#while screa that he was a god and how dare he do anything he didn't like#i dont even remember what started it#actually now that i think about it#this incident was 2020 covid years blend
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god i just got reminded of the fact that i unfollowed some mutuals a while back and i regret not softblocking them because its real awkward if they still follow me LOL
#like. if we used to be mutuals and i unfollowed you its because either 1) i completely forgot i followed you and i didnt recognize you or#2) we stopped talking and i feel awkward being mutuals#this is ABSOLUTELY nothing personal#i just dont know if those mutuals ive unfollowed unfollowed me yet because i dont look at my follower count#it makes me too fuckign anxious#i feel like if i look in there i will unlock cringe memories ive been suppressing#ive LITERALLY had this blog for nearly ten years. theres gotta be smth cringe im just not remembering#anyways. ill prob just go thru my followers and soft block people#just so i dont have to be haunted by this shit anymore#i always forget i even have followers that exceed the number 10#i should just softblock a whole bunch of people#skypeaks
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ive been fucking with an au of a slice of my main/fave OC's life (bcause he must bear the most torture i guess lmao) and like i'm so tempted to make it canon bc it explains so well the time right after it, as well as a few things in general, but i also absolutely don't because it's like sensitive material and i dont wanna have to tell people besides myself about it bc despite research personal experiences and all i know it's a kind of thing where i'm probably just not the person anyone would want to even mention some of it? complicated feels in tags?
#it isnt anything particularly offensive or gross i dont think#like of course my snippy ass oc who is going through shit is gonna be a little shitty out of stress for a moment#but not in an obia or ism way#now that it is buried ill tell you#so local young man has cancer scare which turns into pregnancy scare which turns out to be a miscarriage for various reasons due to#some complications with his reproductive system and this whole ordeal is how he finds out hes a type of intersex#while nearing the end of his pre-med program and bc of the stress and need for time to go to all of the necessary doctors he took a semeste#off that he absolutely did not want to#and this mixed with pressure from both school and his part time job#as well as complicated feelings about sex and gender which he kinda thought he already reconciled but bc of all thats happened is reevaluat#and while he comes to a similar conclusion you know the process of all this is a lot to take in#and our boy spirals for a relatively short time only like a year or something before he decides to go home to spend time with family and ge#himself together and see old friends and remember why he wanted to get a good education and why he wants to help people in the first place#he ends up letting himself fall back in love with his fiance after pushing him away and the time apart has really let them both take seriou#looks at who they are and how they feel about really important adult things that werent really on their minds when they first got together#in middle school and now having gone through the series of events before them and having the time to get to know themselves has been#eye opening and they get to build their relationship from a more mutually free place#now theres a lot here i know and some of it is delicate and complicated since things manifest in lots of ways#i come at it from a place of respect and honesty#i myself only have a hormone disorder imbalance thing that causes a bunch of repro garbage#and of course ive known people who experienced some of the other things and ive researched things though even in writing#i dont think i aim to educate but to communicate how characters experience life?#and when it comes to the gender stuff ill admit hes kindof similar to me with how regardless of how i feel irt interests or what role id#play in xyz relationships i feel like im a cis woman so its not a big deal to me but ive put a lot fo thought and reading and talking into#myself and so thats where despite everything he still identifies as a man comes from#i know its probably dumb of me to write any of this
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fixatingon your own ocs is so cringe
#ive been thinking about window so hard#i think theyd be so distraught knowing that theyll never truly be able to experience nature. like sure he can old vids but he#takes the fact that what hed feel in the recreation isnt real VERY HEAVILY TO HEART#they know that no scenario or world they code up isnt real but im thinking about like#if they were watchingg a video from 500 years ago in their time with a bunch of scenery theyd reeeally want to go there. they can make#plenty of nature-y places and be satisfied with them but when it comes to real places that have existed before uumm#i kinda think hed refuse to recreate them because he knows they were places that once existed and he couldnt replicate them if he used all#of his knowledge on code WHICH IS A LOT btw he was literally born as a hologram.#they dont want to feel unrealistically soft grass. they want to feel any spurs in the grass (yk those shits are EVERYWHERE!!) they want to#see the bugs. they want to know all the best spots to lay or roll around in a field. they want to Feel the Breeze.#they're aware that no amount of work they put into recreating natural scenery could ever amount up to what the real thing was like#and they HATE that ok? thats part of the reason they spend most of their time with all mother or in other fake realities so they can forget#what reality is ACTUALLY like. tech obsessed and pretty much one giant city. even the farms are so. gestures. meat has become a thing made#by science and many types of fruits and veggies are for the rich#any form of animal life is a rarity etcetc#THATSWhy they spend most of their time off in their own worlds... literally. i think they would give literally anything to actually be born#500 years ago. as a human. not as a hologram spit out from a computer (theres a whole process to it but i dont feel like explaining it)#oc thoughts#rambles#this js a self satisfying post im going to remember this forever#oh my god i fucked up the tags somehow and now it only makes sense to me. ok
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what i learned during my reflection period⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧖🏽♀️🎀
as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.
this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...💬🎀
WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;
i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...💬🎀
DOING A SELF AUDIT ;
i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.
i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress 💀. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.
i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.
i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.
THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;
i got really attached to this boy 😭 but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine 💀, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.
no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...💬🎀
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself 🧋
also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.
SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;
i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis
eternal sunshine - jhene aiko
let you go - clara la san
needy - ariana grande
AT THE END OF THE DAY ;
i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...💬🎀 (love honey)
#law of assumption#advice#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#self love#that girl#it girl energy#it girl journey#mental health#mental health awareness#heart to heart#girl talk#hyper femininity#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#self awareness#self reflection#hiatus#healing#healing journey#wiser#princess#pampered princess#glamorous
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college roommate ; giselle
A/N: long awaited fic after about seven months :( hope u remember me haha
CW: red flag giselle, bondage, usage of the word slut 😭, slight choking, face riding, edging, friends with benefits, somewhat proofread, lmk if I forgot anything!
you were starting college in august & they let you start moving into your dorm a month early. with all the moving boxes going around through the dorm halls everyones face was kind of blurred out.
though your roommate in particular,, she looked straight up hot and straight from Japan. you only had to share a room with one other person (thankfully) and it was her. was it a friend crush? or crush?
you had to wait a month to actually talk to her but honestly did you forget about her?? no.
you waited a month for you to actually talk to her and when you finally did she was a total bitch.
"hey do you need help with unpacking?"
"no fuck off?.." as she would shove your shoulder and walk straight out of your shared room.
she would rarely talk to you but I mean it still happens. like if you were in the bathroom for too long, or if you were gone for too long.
she was very possessive over you and you never got why? whenever she saw you with someone else she would start asking a whole bunch of questions.
what was worse is that your dorm wasn't even that big. your beds were right next to each other almost converting into one bed thats how close they were.
so annoying. she would have hookups with girls almost every weekend leaving you no choice but to go out every single friday, saturday, and sunday. what did you spend your time doing?
spending your nights with ning yizhuo or better as ningning.
she was your situationship, or just talking and you wished it would be more but its really not.
it was your time to walk home but ning decided to walk with you.
"so how do you like your new roommate?" ning asked.
"I mean shes okay but it feels like there's tension you know?" you said while grabbing nings hand to hold.
she smiled at you as you guys skipped all the way to your dorm.
meanwhile, aeri uchinaga was taking out the bedsheets from her last hookup session which was not even twenty minutes ago..
messy hair, all sweaty, no shorts on, only an oversized t-shirt and underwear.
you unlocked the door with your key walking up to your bedroom with ning thinking you could go lay in bed with her i dont know,, or maybe just sleep.
you held her hand running to the room just to see a half naked giselle on her bed taking pictures with her phone, probably sending that to her hookups. ugh, you hate her so much.
"ning wait outside the room for a minute please?"
"oh no problem! just tell me when to come back in." she sat on the ground outside of the room trying to listen what the hell is about to happen in there.
"bro did you even change the sheets?!"
"what the fuck you knew I was coming home around this time why didnt you have shorts on?"
"shit aeri, i hate you youre such a slut." you kept throwing words and screaming at her like there was no tomorrow until ning knocked on the door again.
"hey I think I should go?" you pulled her inside to introduce her to giselle who was in shorts, quiet, and annoyed.
"aeri, this is ningning, ning this is giselle my roommate"
"whatever, are you guys a thing?" aeri questioned while motioning for you both to sit down.
here we go again, shes gonna interrogate her.
"uhm yeah? you could say so" ning responded.
"well did little y/n tell you that were dating and that were talking? so I don't know how you are"
what. the. fuck. is all can go through your head right now.
ning looked at you in shocked with no words and just left. I just know she was broken.
the worse part is all of this weren't even true? you and aeri barely talk and now you just wanna be a bitch to her forever.
"what the fuck is wrong with you? you're such a fucking slut you even wanted me to be dragged into your girl fantasy."
aeri was tired and exhausted but there was so much rage in her eyes. how many times was y/n gonna call her a slut?
suddenly you were being pushed onto the bed, leaving you on your back. both hands were being tied and lifted up to reach the headboard.
"whos the slut now? youre practically weak at this point."
she was trying so hard to get your shorts off but you would kick your legs trying to stop her yet her grip was too strong for you to even move your legs anymore. "why are you doing this to me?" you said with such attitude.
"trying to put you in your place because your such a brat?" she said while sliding your underwear off. she spread both of your legs one to the left, and then to the right.
she walked around the room scolding you, and saying how much of a bad girl you were when you did nothing. or you thought you didnt?
you never really realized how much her words were turning you on. all you could feel were the cold air reaching your core. the ac was on making you especially chilly.
wet slick was running down your thighs and of course you noticed. you felt so bothered you just wanted to be touched already. you weren't the type to always touch yourself, you were more inexperienced. but this time, you felt extra needy you just needed some relief.
"aeri this isn't funny anymoree" you whined.
she crawled up to your core and started kissing your inner thighs making you start to start to arch your back and move uncontrollably. she barely even started.
she moved her finger up and down your body, teasing you in every way. you felt so helpless and you couldn't resist her touch anymore. you needed her,, right now. she started squeezing your chest swirling each bud with her tongue and flicking the other with her slender fingers.
she continued to do the same motion but moved her head up to your neck leaving marks and wet kisses along the crook of your neck.
"youre enjoying this way too much, are you sure im still the slut hm?"
she pressed her knee up to your soaked core, adding pressure to your sensitive spot.
"answer."
you suppressed your moans so in order for you to hide it, you could not answer nor say a word.
one hard slap to your core was made leaving an echo in your shared room.
"im sorry!" you whined & your brain was foggy so of course you didn't know what to say except sorry.
your slick was covered on the bed,, you were so messy at this point.
two slaps.
"answer,, whos the slut now?"
"me oh my gosh aeri .. fuck! just do something, anything! please I just need to come so bad."
she started eating you out, cleaning the mess all over your thighs. she switched between small licks and full on devouring you.
later, she found your clit teasing that spot over and over again leaving you twitching. seeing how the way you move she knew that you were the most sensitive down right there. she was def gonna tease you with that later.
"mmh! fuck" you would let out endless curses.
you gripped onto the pillow above you knowing that you cant take this much pleasure. it was all to much yet you were eager to let go.
"if youre close, hold it. im not letting you come yet."
she entered two fingers in, not caring if you weren't fully adjusted yet. all the pain later then converted into pleasure. she gripped your neck lightly but not choking you, more like just holding it.
"s-shit im gonna come,, aeri dont stop please!" you screamed yet she pulled her two fingers away and licked it,, not letting you reach your high.
"on top of my face."
"excuse me? is this what people really do?"
"put your cunt on my face is that a problem? i'll break ningnings heart telling her how her talking stage is fucking with her roommate now and that your never coming back to her."
you completely forgot about ning. your brain was messed up at the moment. like a spell under giselle. she later then united your hands
you carefully put your cunt onto her as she pulled you down more, allowing her to get more access to you. she swirled her tongue around your clit like how she did with your chest and tried to enter a finger into you.
"f-fuck keep hitting that area!"
"right there? hm?" as she started to play with the exact spot and you swear you were about to let go.
"im g-gonna come! aeri please!" you let go and you collapsed back onto the bed exhausted and still trying to catch your breath. she just giggled and you guys agreed to be friends with benefits.
"call me if you need someone to fuck, dont call your hookups anymore im done with that."
she laughed and shook it off,, but on the other hand you still went out with ning.
aeri wasnt too fond of it but whenever giselle was around ning and you she would pay close attention to you both making sure things wouldn't go to far.
college roommate ; giselle.
#kpop smut#aespa smut#aespa giselle smut#giselle smut#giselle aespa#aeri uchinaga#wlw smut#fem reader#fypシ#aeri x reader#giselle x reader#aespa x reader#kaylas yaps<3#sorry for the long wait#giselle#aespa
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smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)
I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH
Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.
Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat
so… dirty talk
BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…
“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”
That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR
more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”
dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew
also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but
like
”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”
look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh
no.
JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN
“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?
anywaysysystst
research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk
“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean
cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms
like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day
although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing
so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology
spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth
consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that
they keep sprouting a third arm
or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably
so. Consistency! :)
that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys
edit: this post is super old pls ignore its existence
#writing advice#writing#creative writing#smut writing#smut writing tips#Writing smut#smut advice#writing tips#how to write#writing scenarios#writing smut#Writing sex#HEAVENLYRAIN’S WRITING TIPS
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im sorry but love IS the main theme in jjk, no not just in the movie but ALL of jjk.
dont believe me? fuck it, fine, i'll explain
lets start it out with the obvious, jjk 0. this is the prequel to the actual anime and manga series (although i guess actualy isnt the correct term... you get the point) and it starts all because of yuuta and rika who were both children when they fell in love.
rika gives yuuta a ring and tells him that its a promise ring and that its a promise that they'll be together forever.
yeah rika DIES
but dw, she gets turned into a curse... by yuuta, but it was on accident so... yeah fun-
then geto shows up and basically attacks the school and yuuta and rika save it using LITERALLY the power of love. then soon enough gojo ends up telling yuuta this 'love is the greatest curse of all'
yeah love is literally the main theme of that, yuuta's love is what cursed rika and caused her to become a curse but what of gojo? why is he saying 'love is the greatest curse of all'?
well soon after this he mentions his 'one and only' and its heavily implied (actually canon) that its suguru geto, YEP the mf who attacked the school. now lets take it back a few notches shall we <33
gojo and geto went to school together where they became extremely close friends (implies lovers as they do a TON of romantic stuff in japanese culture such as giving geto second button to gojo aka the one close to his heart and them riding on a bike together which is illegal in japan but its also considered romantic to break the rules with your lover so like??!?! yeah theyre gay)
soon after they have a mission to protect the star plasma vessel and imma spare you the details lets just say that it goes HORRIBLY wrong and it ends up causing a rift between gojo and geto. gojo ends up awakening becoming a better version of himself for it and is trying to show it to geto. yet he doesnt know that what happened with him and how he basically got a power up did NOT happen to geto.
geto was left to question who he was fighting for anymore and this caused him to... get a little silly and kill an entire village anyways the kfc breakup happens yada yada and remember that these two were really really REALLY close friends at least and most likely lovers (how i'll be referring to them from now on)
now what day did geto attack the school aka the night of 1000 demons parade? december 24, the same date which is the most romantic in japan (to my knowledge) and the same date which gojo killed him... YEAH THAT SHIT WAS PLANNED
but lets move onto something a little more... recent.
ITAFUSHI!!!
honestly my fav ship and why im all writing this in the first place. their love for each other was literally so great that they killed the king of curses. the whole reason that megumi locks in is because he realizes that yuuji is gonna be sad if he dies and that he doesnt want yuuji to be sad
these two care for each other so much and its basically shown at the start of the manga, how megumi sees yuuji and saves him without hesitation, he just doesnt want to see a good person die.
he then says 'what if someone you saves kills another in the future' and when yuuji asks him that megumi cant answer. and when he can yuuji literally flips back and kills himself in order to save megumi and mind you he was fearing death a few seconds ago, saying how he didnt want to die yet and how he had regretted eating that stupid finger
yet when it came to saving megumi all of the sudden that didnt matter anymore, in fact when sukuna offered to bring him back he said no because he didnt want sukuna hurting more people... speaking over that-
SHIBUYA!!! yeah sukuna takes over yuuji and kills a bunch of people- kinda ironic seeing how megumi asked yuuji 'what are you gonna do if someone you save kills those later?' even MORE ironic that before that its revealed that yuuji swallowing the finger caused a bunch of parts of sukuna to wake up and start killing people and both of them realized this and went 'imma not tell the other cause thatll make them sad'
anyways megumi gives his bf a pep talk and then BAM megkuna and yuuji goes batshit against sukuna <3
anyways before megumi separates from sukunas body he says that he's gonna try living for someone else just one more time and its pretty obvious that this person is yuuji.
ALSO fun little thing.
love the greatest curse of all won against the king of curses, sukuna. sukuna who refused to feel or care for human emotions. aint that something?
#jjk yuuta#yuta okkotsu#rika orimoto#itafushi#stsg#satosugu#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk#jujustu kaisen#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#gay#just gay#character analysis#analysis#theme#eternal rants
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- dissappeared -
- summary: y/n gets her first tattoo ever and shes lucky enough to have nicolas sturniolo as her tattooist, she comes in for a bunch more over the next week and they become best friends, what happens when y/n drops off the face of the earth 2 weeks later?
warnings: angst, tattoos, abusive dad, hospital, suicide, swearing, idk lmk if i missed anything
nick sturniolo x platonic! reader based in: LA, California
y/n 19 madi 19
chris 20 matt 20 nick 20
delilah "del" (22) cassidy "cass" (21) veronica "vee" (20)
-
=Y/N POV= -saturday-
im going out with my friends later for a well-needed girls night, we haven't gone out in so long due to us all being busy with work and our personal lives. i turn to my phone switching it on to see the time is 5:17pm and we are meeting at in n out at 7 to eat before we go to the club. i jump from my bed heading to the bathroom. i quickly undress, hopping into shower. once ive finished i step out and head to my closet to choose my outfit, picking through my hung up clothes i remember i bought a cute new outfit the other day when i went shopping with my sister, Nicola, i bend down picking up the shopping bag, turning placing it on my bed laying it out. i smile looking at it before putting it on. i step back facing the mirror, examining how it looks on me happily. i pick up my phone again to check the time and its 6:14 "oh shit" i mumble, swiftly sitting down at my desk grabbing my hair dryer out my drawer plugging it in. it takes around 25 minutes to fully dry my hair, messily section my hair and straighten it, leaving me 20ish minutes to do my makeup and leave.
-7:19pm-
since we're all drinking tonight we all had to walk or uber to the in n out, me living a 10 minutes away i walked there, leaving me to be a little late but when am i not so its fine. walking through the doors i see Delilah and Cassidy on one side of the booth and veronica on the other facing me, i run over to them "heyyyy" i smile sliding in next to vee, she side hugs me as del greets "hey baby", "took your time girl" cass laughs "you cant rush all this" i say as i push the hair from on of my shoulders. the waitress walks over and speaks as she looks up from her notepad "hi what can i get y'all?"
we all order and while we wait for our food to arrive we catch up on our lives. "so i have big news" vee starts, we all look to her "ur not preggo are you?" del jokes, vee shakes her head "no god no, not that i know of anyways" she laughs, "im moving to new York for fashion school" vee reveals, "OHMYGOD VEE THAT SO COOL" i squeal bringing her into a tight hug "im so proud of you vee" cass says as she and del reach over the table to join the hug "that's huge vee" del says in the hug". as we sit down vee carefully wipes her teary ears cautious to not ruin her makeup, "aw vee dont cry lovely" del rubs the back of her hand, "i just didn't expect you guys to be so happy about it, im moving so far" she sniffles, "of course we'd be happy for you vee" cass smiles "we're obviously gonna miss you so fucking much but we want you to be able to follow your dreams and if that means moving a mission away, we'll support you the whole way through it" i reassure her. "thank you guys, i love you so much" "we love you more girl".
-8:30pm-
we all finished our food and were walking to the new nightclub that had opened last month, we would've gone closer to opening but we couldn't get a date where we were all free. as we walk up the street we see a line leading out "oh my fuck look how long that line is" cass points in the direction we're walking, "youre joking" del shakes her head, "what the fuckkk" i drag out bringing my palm to each side of my head, vee just laughs "cmon guys im sure itll go down quick it opens at quarter to so we should be waiting like 5 minutes" she says.
vee was right, we waited for around 7 minutes before getting in. as we walked in we looked around in shock the place looked so cool, we all quickly made our way to the bar ordering our first drink of the night, i obviously ordered my favourite drink to ever exist, tequila sunrise, i worship the person who made these cause oh my god they are so good.
-12:49am-
i walk over to the bar to order another drink, no clue how many ive had already, we lost count a while ago. i reach the bar leaning my arms on the surface as the brunette women walks over to me, "hiya gorgeous, what can i get for ya?" she smiles i think for a minute, "urmmm i want to try something new, have you got anything sweet?" i ask looking at her big brown eyes "how about a margarita?" she tilts her head slightly to the side, "sounds great" i smile sliding my card towards her, "dont worry about it lovely, its on the house" she says turning around to start making the drink, "wow thank you so much" i smile looking down putting the card back in my purse.
-1:03am-
we left the club now, as we were all so drunk we were stumbling over each other as we walk, planning to go back to my apartment as its the closest. laughing loudly walking down the street cass notices something "guys guys omg" she speaks loudly over our laughs tapping our arms, "look we so should get matching tattoos" she points towards a lit building down the street, "FUCK YES LETS GO" i yell holding onto dels arms almost tripping us both over, "fuck it why not" del says, we all look to vee who is nodding "one thousand percent yes, cmon lets go" she says. we run down to the shop, i look in the window to see if theres anyone in there and theres a brunette boy sat at the front desk with his feet up scrolling on his phone, i open the door peeking my head through, "hey are you guys open?" i ask, he looks up in surprise "hi yes we are" he says with a smile, i walk in waving in del, vee and cass. "my names chris, how can i help?" he asks, "im y/n, that's vee, that's cass and that's del" i say pointing to each of us, i hope he doesn't notice how drunk we are and doesn't kick us out, "nice to meet you" he looks between me and the girls giggling behind me, "we want to get matching tattoos" i stated, "sounds great, i dont want to be rude but you guys seem quite drunk are you sure you want to do this?" he looks down to his computer before looking up again "tattoos are permanent" he adds, "we've been best friends since high school so im sure we'll be fine" del replied from behind me, he chuckles looking down grabbing paper on clipboards "here fill these in and once you bring them back we can get started" he said sitting back down, we thank him and go sit down on the couches by the window opposite him.
we fill out the forms and decide on getting four stars along the side of our wrists, we all walk back over to chris handing over our clipboards, "looks great, follow me and we can get started" he says walking out from the desk through the door next to it. "okay first clipboard is cassidy, cassidy this is madi, shes great, here you go mads" he passes Cass's clipboard to her, "good luck cass" me, vee, and del says as we continue to follow chris through a curtain separating the stations, "second clipboard is veronica, this is matt, hes quiet but one of our best, here" he passes vee's clipboard over and continues walking, "alright this is my station" he looks down at the clipboard "Delilah looks like youre with me" he looks back up, "make yourself comfy ill be right back" he places her clipboard on the table behind his chair, turning to me "okay y/n youre with nick, he is our best, trust me, i haven't got any yet but when i do im 100% going to him" he chuckles a little, i smile and nod following him, almost tripping over my feet.
"yo nick" he says turning to see the blonde boy asleep "oh my god wake up duffus" he says gently hitting the clipboard on his head "dude what" nick grumbles, opening his eyes a little then they immediately widen seeing me stood there "oh hey sorry" "its all good" i giggle slightly, "nick this is y/n shes getting matching tattoos with her friends, heres her clipboard" "thanks" nick nods taking the clipboard from chris's hands, he then walks through the curtain back to his station. "hey im nick" he smiles putting out his hand, i reach to take it forgetting to move my feet resulting in my stumbling over, hands pressed against the chair inbetween us "omg are you okay" he asks standing to help me up, "im okay just a bit drunk" i laugh covering my face in embarrassment. he chuckles sitting back in his chair after helping me carefully sit in my seat. "so it says here you want four stars along your wrist" he asks looking at the clipboard to his side, i nod "yea, one star for each of us" i confirm, "that's so cute, me and matt have matching tattoos on our arm" he says lifting his sleeve to reveal a cowgirl on his upper arm "i have this cowgirl, and he has a cowboy skeleton" he explains lowering his sleeve "i love that" i say looking back to his face from his arm, "have you gotten a tattoo done before?" nick asks sorting out everything he needs, "uh no, no i havent" i shake my head laughing a little looking down at my hands in my lap, "woah no shit? well its my pleasure to be your first" he jokes, i laugh looking back at him, "what about your friends, is it their firsts too" he questions, "no they all started getting them as soon as they could" i chuckle "del has 6 to 7, Cassidy has 4 and vee has 1" i add "how come you didn't get any?" he looks over to me "just never had the chance to i guess" i shrug.
-2:42am-
"i cant believe i like it so much thank you so much nick" i say, giving him a hug from my chair. "of course, it looks awesome im happy you like it" nick says hugging me back. after wrapping the tattoo, he goes through the aftercare instructions with me, but also puts a leaflet with all the information in my purse so i have something to go back on. we walk out to the main room where del, vee, cass, madi, chris and matt are talking between each other, "theres our baby" del says walking over to me wrapping her arms around me neck, "hi del" i wrap my arms around her back as we swing side to side a little squeezing one another. "del youre gonna squeeze her to death" vee laughs from the couch, everyone joining in laughing, del back up a little "sorry baby, how was it?" she asks lifting my hand, turning it to see the wrapped tattoo "it was okay, me and nick talked to whole way through it so i was distracted basically the whole time" "that's great, are you thinking of getting more?" Cassidy adds, del moves back to the couch pulling me to sit next to her, "yea i actually am" i proclaimed looking back to nick who was sat on the reception chair pulled around to us. we all talk for like half hour before they close up shop and we all head home, the girls coming back to mine.
-3 days later-Tuesday-3pm-
im currently walking back to the tattoo shop, i booked another tattoo with nick the next day of getting my stars. as i approach the shop i see a convenience store next door so i run in there and buy 2 bottles of water before returning, walking in chris sees me "hey y/n hows ur stars?" "theyre good chris thank you, i um booked a tattoo with nick" i smile standing the other side of his desk, "yup nick told me, ive got your details from last time so youre all good to go through" he nods up to me, "thanks chris" i say before walking through the curtain, madi wasn't in today maybe she doesn't work weekdays, walking through the next curtain i see matt scrolling on his phone, he nods to me and i nod back before walking through chris's station to nick's. "y/nn heyy" nick says getting up from his chair, greeting me with a hug, "hey nick" i say hugging him back. "nice to see you sober this time" he laughs "yea definitely" i laugh with him, "oh i brang you a water" i remember reaching into my bag grabbing both waters, handing him one "thankyou omg you didn't have too" he says placing the water on his table, "so just to confirm you wanted a lower back tattoo today?" he asks looking from the texts back to me "yup, do you still have the photo?" i ask, reaching into my shorts back pocket grabbing for my phone, "yea this right?" he says before turning his ipad to face me showing me the picture i sent, i nod with a smile "perfect" he says, as he pulls out the stencil, i lay on my stomach on his chair, pulling the top of my jeans down a little so nick had room to put the stencil where i wanted it. "hows this" he asks showing me the placement through a mirror "that's great thank you" i say turning back onto my stomach, "okay lets get started then" nick says with a clap.
-5:30pm-
"and we're done" nick announces sliding back in his chair, "that hurt way more than the stars" i laugh, "im sure it did, can i take some pictures for my profile?" nicks asks holding his phone in his hand, "of course" "okay, itll only be a couple seconds" he says before snapping away "thanks y/n", "always, i mean i wouldn't even have it if it wasn't for you so you can take as many photos as you want"
-2 days later-thursday-
"third tattoo in a week y/n? your crazy" chris laughs as i walk into the shop once again, "you know it chris, youre gonna get sick of me" i laugh, "i dont think i could" he admits, as i walk through the stations into nicks at the back, "hey girl, we doing the butterflies on the back today?" nick asks looking up from his ipad, "that's the one" i confirm putting my bag on the floor, "okay girl come lay down" nick directs picking up the stencil, i pull of my top leaving my top half in a bikini i put on so it doesn't get in the way for nick.
"it looks amazing nick thank you" i smile looking in the mirror, "of course y/n, you're my favourite client i could have you here everyday" nick says while wrapping the tattoo, "i would be here everyday but i would go broke" i chuckle.
=NO POV= like 2-3weeks timeskip-
every 2-4 days y/n came back for another tattoo, she now has a total of 10 tattoos which include her stars on her wrist, her butterflies on her back, her lower back tattoo, a flower by her boob, a butterfly in between her boobs, stars on her stomach, 444 on her arm, butterflies behind her ear, a hand tattoo, and a butterfly on her thigh.
y/n had booked in to come again to get 3 stars on her ankle in 3 days, nick had set everything up and was ready for y/n to walk in on time as normal so when she didn't he was a little worried but shrugged it off and shot her a text asking where she was. the time went by and nicks next customer had arrived, nick was concerned about y/n but carried on with his day as he would've. after the store closed nick packed up and met chris and matt in the lobby.
"wasn't y/n meant to come by at 4 today?" chris asked nick with locking the door to the stations, "yeah, i texted her but i haven't heard anything" nick replied, "hm weird" chris hummed.
-3 days later-1pm-
no one had heard from y/n. vee had gone to new york a week after they got their stars so she wasn't to aware of what was going on but Delilah and Cassidy was worried so they decided to stop by the shop to see if nick had seen her as they knew she was there almost everyday.
"hey Delilah, Cassidy, here for another tattoo?" chris asks from behind the desk, "um no we were wondering if y/n had been here in the past few days, we haven't heard from her and we know shes been coming here a lot" Cassidy says, "oh um no i haven't seen her, let me go get nick for you" chris gets up from his seat and walks through to the back station where nick is, "wassup chris" nick not looking away from his sketchpad, "Delilah and Cassidy are here looking for y/n" nick looks up at chris with furrowed eyebrows, "what" "yeah they're in the lobby, i said id get you" chris nods, nick gets up placing his sketchpad on his chair behind him before following chris to the lobby. "hey guys" nick says his eyebrows only slightly scrunched now, "hey, uh have you seen or heard from y/n?" Delilah asks worried, "um no i haven't, she was meant to come in what 3 days ago?" he looks back to chris who nods, "for a tattoo but she didn't show, i texted her too but no reply" nick shakes his head at the end of his sentence. Delilah and Cassidy just look at each other like they were talking to one another through their minds "do you think her dads back?" Cassidy says just above a whisper to which Delilah bites her lip shaking her head slightly while shrugging. "thanks nick, but um we're gonna go, if you hear from her youll let us know right?" cass turns towards nick whos leaning against the front desk, "yea of course, text me if she shows up i miss my boo" nicks says standing up straight. Delilah and Cassidy both wave as they leave the store. nick turns to chris whos scrolling through his phone "im gonna go back to my station Elizabeth should be here for a coverup in 10" chris looks up to his brother and nods before nick leaves.
-next day-4am-
'y/n'
nikk hel sent 4:07am
-NICK POV-10am-
"what the hell" i mutter under my breath as i pick up my phone from my nightstand. i haven't heard from y/n in like 5 days and shes finally texted me back but what shes said concerns me, nick hel im so confused, did she mean hello? hell? helmet? help? why would she need help? she probably just got drunk and misspelt hello.
'nickyy<33(tats)'
hey y/n! where have you been girl i missed you!! sent 10:17am
i shoot a quick text to the Delilah and Cassidy that y/n had texted me.
nick
heyy just wanted to lyk that i heard from y/n ^screenshot of nick and y/ns texts^ sent 10:23am
Delilah
omg thankyou for telling us dyk what she meant? sent 10:25am
nick
i thought maybe she was drunk and meant hello but idk, it was sent at like 4am i might just be weird but have a bad feeling about it sent 10:28am
Delilah
y/n wont drink by herself, shes always with me, cass, vee or some of her friends from work but they all said they haven't spoken to her in like a week plus vees in new york sent 10:32am
Cassidy
she spelt your name wrong and didn't finish the word 'hello' when shes drunk she can still type? sent 10:33am
Delilah
wait your right maybe she had to send it quickly and wasn't paying attention? but then what would she be saying sent 10:34am
nick
help? it would explain typing fast if she was in danger but what from? sent 10:36am
Delilah
cass did you find out if her dads back? sent 10:36am
Cassidy
i didn't think he is maybe he just got back? sent 10:37am
nick
whats up with her dad?? sent 10:37am
Delilah
hes an abusive prick who should be in jail but y/n wont say anything. sent 10:38am
Cassidy
Delilah rose. sent 10:38am
nick
i dont mean to overstep but wdym? sent 10:39am
Cassidy
y/n and her dad dont get along, hes never been good to her for her whole life but y/n will let everything go "bc hes still her dad" she says sent 10:39am
Delilah
he was better than he is now before her mum died sent 10:40am
Cassidy
he was still a jerk del sent 10:41am
Delilah
he was MORE than just a jerk but im just saying hes worse now sent 10:41am
nick
oh shit sent 10:42am
Cassidy
yea sent 10:42am
nick
so do u think her dad did smt? sent 10:42am
Cassidy
that's what we're worried about sent 10:43am
Delilah
he better not have or istg sent 10:43am
nick
cant we go to their apartment? sent 10:44am
Cassidy
we tried before we came to ur shop no one answered sent 10:44am
Delilah
she basically always answers the door sent 10:45am
nick
if her dads back in town would he go to y/ns apartment? or does he have a house somewhere sent 10:46am
cassidy
he would usually go to y/ns apartment, saying like he goes more than once every 100 years. he sold their childhood house after her mum died y/n said he said it was cause the pain was too much but it was obviously for money cause he bought some small shitty house in the middle of fucking nowhere and spent the rest on fuck knows what sent 10:48am
-timeskip-NO POV-
just over 2 months go by since y/n disappeared, they've gone to her apartment atleast once or twice a week to see if she shows up but still nothing. they went to the police but they aren't taking it seriously because shes 19 and 'most likely ran away', which they all find ridiculous. matt, chris, nick, madi, Delilah, and Cassidy all sit at the lake where del, cass, vee, and y/n would go whenever they felt they needed an escape hoping shell show up but mainly to try distract themselves from their missing friend. nick, del, and cass have been really down not knowing where she is or what happened, they called vee and asked her if y/n had shown up to her school or new apartment but nope, vee said she last saw her the day she left, shes said multiple times over the phone that shell drop everything to come back to cali for the girls but they said for her to stay, just incase y/n was trying to get here. vee and y/n had been friends for as long as they could both remember, their mums became friends when y/n was 3 and vee was 4 and they instantly clicked, so inseparable you'd never see one without they other, they were basically sisters.
the whole group was at the lake having a small picnic. they talked, ate, and swam from 4pm to 12:30am. matt and chris dropped madi home then went back to their house, while nick, del, and cass went back to delilahs, they tried texting y/ns number but to no surprise there was no answer.
-NICK POV-next day-5am-
y/n calling
"oh my god y/n??" i yell into the phone bringing it to my ear. "nick? nick please, its my dad, hes drunk again, i- i need help AHH" i jump dropping my phone, her scream gets cut off by the phone hanging up, i quickly call her back but im met with no answer. i call her again and again but to no avail she doesnt pick up.
i turn over in the bed to del and cass still asleep, i reach over shaking del as she was next to me "nick? whats going on its 5am?" she groans half asleep, "y/n just fucking called me an-" "omg what what happened" she cuts me off "she said her dads drunk and then started saying she needs help before screaming like shes in a fucking horror movie, then it hung up, i tried calling her back like a million times but she didnt answer" i quickly explain pulling on my shoes as del wakes cass. "whats going on" cass grumbles, "y/n just called nick we need to go now cmon get up" after hearing del, cass shoots up quickly slipping on her shoes. we all rush out of delilahs house, del slipping on her crocs by the door. we jump into cassidys car and speed just over the limit to y/ns.
as soon as we get there we all jump out and get to the front door, "dont buzz the door lets go round the back" cass says leading us round. we all rush up in press the 6 button in the elevator for the 6th floor. once the the door opens enough we push out and run over to y/ns door. i knock on it but it doesnt open, no sound or movement can be heard inside. "do you think they left?" i ask the girls next to me. "im not sure" del says trying to look through the peep hole, "its like no ones been here but where else would she be?" she adds, nick shrugs and so does Cassidy. "wait y/ns spare key" del remembers bending down to the plant pot next to the door moving around the soil inside looking for the key before finding it and picking it up, unlocking the door. "wont y/n be mad we're like intruding her home?" nick asks "nah its fine shell understand" cassidy places her hand on his shoulder as the two follow Delilah. "look around try see if y/ns here" cass directs before walking into the bathroom, "it doesn't looks like anybodys been here in months" del mumbles entering y/ns bedroom, nick going to the open plan kitchen-living room area. they all look around but find nothing.
-NO POV-
"Delilah!" cass shouts from the guest bedroom, del and nick rush to the room to see cass stood next to the bed, "what?!" cass steps aside revealing a big dark blue suitcase opened on the messy bed filled with males things, she lifts the tag connected to the handing reading it "george y/l/n, its her dads" she looks to the del with worry over her face "shit, did u see anything in the living room or kitchen?" delilah asks looking to nick, "i dont think so, but im not quite sure what could be different, ive only been here a couple times" nick purses his lips after his sentence. delilah walks behind nick to the room, looking around before noticing the corner of the kitchen island has chipped, she glides her finger over it looking around the area to see if anything else is different to then see a barely noticeable small dark red spot on the floor as if it dripped from the missing corner and was attempted to been cleaned, "guys look!" del shouts, nick and cass run in and see what del found. "what is that?" cass questions bending down sitting on her ankles looking at the spot without touching it, "i could be way off but it looks like blood" nick says mirroring cassidys sitting position. "i really hope its not" delilah mumbles "we should go to the hospital see if shes there, even if shes not itll be worth checking" she adds walking to the front door, "wait del you have something on your shoe" nick points out, del looks down picking off the paper, unfolding it and turning it to see it had been written on. it takes her a minute trying to read the messy writing "the handwriting is horrible, y/ns is usually like perfect" she mutters, "what does it say?" cass asks wrapping her hand on dels arm, nick the other side of del. "urm 'idk if any1 is gonna find this but dads back + his drinking is the worst ive ever seen and idk how long ill last wit him like this. im rlly scared an'" del squints a little trying to make out the words "it just ends there? in the mid of the sentence" del scrunches her eyebrows flipping around the note to see if she missed anything, "what the fuck" nick mumbles, "cmon lets check the hospital, bring that with u del".
-12:27pm-
they get to the hospital and head straight to the front desk, cassidy asks if anyone called 'y/n y/l/n' had been admitted and the receptionist confirms that only a y/n coleman had come in today, which caused delilah to furrow her eyebrows in confusion as her last name is coleman. she thought 'surely its just a coincidence' she looks to cass who has the same reaction on her face, they ask what room y/n coleman is in and the women says room 293. they all head up to the fourth floor, and walk down the hall until they see a blue sign hanging out above a room reading 'room 293'. cassidy peaks into the room to see y/n laying in the bed asleep with a white bandage wrapped around her head. "wait omg, shes in here?" cass says in a confused tone, walking into the room, delilah behind her "why has she come in with my last name" del asks, moving to y/ns side holding her hand. "im not sure" cass tilts her head looking around the bare hospital room, the only things in there being the bed, a chair and a set of drawers, all belonging to the hospital, as she opens the drawers to see theyre empty she looks to del, "do you think her dad knows shes here?" del shrugs. nick then walks into the room, "where the fuck did you go?" del questions, "i was talking to a doctor about what happened to her" he responds walking to the side of y/n opposite Delilah, "So?" cass walks over. "apparently some man, i assume her dad, came in with her passed out in his arms..
"i need some help over here" George shouts walking into the large building, 2 nurses rush over with a gurney, George lays y/n down on it and the nurses push it through the hallway, "sir what happened?" one asks, "she uh she- she was in the kitchen making herself food when she dropped her phone and banged her head on the counter reaching to pick it up" he quickly speaks in a serious tone, "how long has she been out for?" the same nurse questions, "id say for around 45 minutes. i brang her here straight after i found her and she lives 10 minutes away, 25 with traffic" the nurse nods to his answer as they push y/n into a room, leaving George outside.
after half an hour to an hour passes, a doctor exits y/ns room to inform George of what had occurred in the room to find no one outside waiting, the doctor waits outside for 5-10 minutes before looking around the hallways by the room. confused he goes to the front desk and asks if the man had left, the receptionist looks up from her desk and nods her head yes, "i saw him leave i think 45 minutes ago but dont quote me on it" she smiles, looking back down to her computer, the doctor thanks her before returning to y/ns room, he checks her making sure the bandage is on correctly and that shes stable before leaving.
..the doctor said that she hit her head pretty hard to cause it to bleed out but no long term damage though she does have black eye, a few broken blood vessels and a concussion." nick finishes. "woah" del sighs, "should she be asleep with a concussion?" cass asks biting the side of her bottom lip, nick shrugs "doctor said she hasn't woken up yet."
-15:38pm-2 hours later-Y/N POV-
i wake up to my head pounding, squinting my eyes open to bright lights shining above me i lift my hand up to my forehead where the migraine is rubbing over the area. "omg y/n youre awake" i hear from my right side, i slightly jump turning to see nick getting up from the chair. "nick?" i whisper, scrunching my face "yea its me, are you okay?" he says pouring some water into a plastic cup "i guess so, my heads pounding" i groan, taking the cup from nick chugging it down, "nick who are you- omg! y/n youre awake!" Delilah squeals running over wrapping her arms around me "hi del" i smile hugging her back, "del quieten down, she has a headache" nick says just above a whisper, trying not to worsen y/ns pain. "oh sorry baby, i just missed you so fucking much. where the fuck have you been?" del asks, sitting on the side of the bed, her legs hanging of the edge, "i-um its a long story" i shake my head, leaning my head back on the upright pillow, then cass walks in before she can say anything del quickly and bluntly says "sh dont be loud" cass nods opting to not say anything before rushing over giving me a hug, "hi cass" i giggle, reciprocating her embrace. "y/n was just about to tell us what the hell happened the past two months" del reveals, my eyes widen and jaw drops "its been two months??" i almost yell but my dehydrated throat wont let me. they all look at me confused, "yea y/n its the 27th of august" i look down to my lap with furrowed eyebrows. how the hell has two whole fucking months gone by "y/n?" i look up to cass speaking to me "are you okay n/n?" i slowly nod, not even believing myself. "what the hell happened to you baby" delilah whispers as her head tilts to the side in sympathy. "im not even sure anymore" i bring my hands to my face covering my eyes for a moment attempting to focus my racing thoughts. "its okay baby, take your time" del reaches and rubs my shoulder, making me flinch under her touch, "y/n?" "m'sorry i didn't mean to" i mumble avoiding all their eyes looking down on me, "its okay y/n, just take it slow and tell us what happened" nick says crouching slightly to my level.
after a minute, i take another sip of my water and sit up a little more "ill start from when my dad arrived, the closer to now its all sort of a blur" i take in a breath before continuing "i remember getting ready for my tattoo appointment with nick when the door knocked, i thought it was you two so i opened it without looking but to my surprise it was my dad holding a big suitcase, he walked in ignoring me, heading straight for the spare bedroom, i obviously followed him and asked him what he was doing, he told me he needed somewhere to stay and that because im his daughter i had to help him so i did-" i interrupt myself with a coughing fit, bring my left hand to cover my mouth. "here y/n drink your water" nick tries to help passing me a refilled cup of water, i take it and bring it to my mouth drinking almost all of it, my coughs stop and i clear my throat "sorry, um what was i saying?" "you let your dad in" "right yea um, so i let him and i said about his drinking and he slapped me and said not to question him and to remember my place, i guess i had to deal with that for a few days before he started to get worse" i sniffle and wipe the tear that started to brim my waterline, "he uh he broke my phone and started to get more violent" "oh baby' cas whispers leaning me into her chest, wrapping her arms around me. "its all kind of a blur from there, im sorry" i sniffle again, a few tears fall down my face, "no y/n dont you dare apologise okay" del snaps "none of this is on you, its on that horrible man" "del calm down" Cassidy says as i look down to my hands fiddling with each other. "no cass, no i wont calm down because no one should be treated like this its disgusting. it makes me literally want to-" "Delilah rose stop it right now!" cassidy speaks firmly instantly shutting Delilah up, "thank you" she says politely, "im sorry y/n i didn't want to shout" she mumbles next to my ear. del walks over to me gently bringing her hand to the large purple bruise spread over my cheek and jaw, rubbing her thumb over it "im sorry baby, i just hate to see you hurt" i lean into her hand and close my eyes, finding comfort in dels hand and the slight pain from the bruise. i open my eyes a second later to see Delilah looking at me with a small smirk, "what?" i lift my head from her hand, "nothing" she mumbles backing away.
after 20 minutes of just talking, comforting each other, the doctor walks in. "hello y/n, how are you feeling?" she kindly smiles, holding a clipboard to her chest, "i have a bad headache but im okay" i smile back, she asks if i want tablets to help to which i nod, she steps outside for a moment before coming back in handing me some with a bottle of water "thank you" i say taking 2 of the pills. "if you feel well enough, the hospital says youre allowed to go home" i smile nodding a little "yea, yea i do" "of course, just remember you have a concussion meaning headaches and trouble with concentration, memory, balance, mood and sleep, and they usually last between 14 and 21 days. and then with the broken blood vessels if you place a cool compress on them and they should soon clear up. i have this paper bag that has information about everything if you need it and some pills for any migraines or pains you may experience" she informs handing me to light blue bag "thank you".
-20:12pm-10 mins later-
"right so where are we going?" Cassidy asks as we all pile into her car, Delilah helping me into the seat behind Cassidy. "we can go back to mine? i think matt chris and madi are there" nick says pulling on his seatbelt, "sounds good" Cassidy nods starting the car.
-20:33pm-20 minutes later-
we pull up to nicks house and we all click of our seatbelts, Cassidy opens my door and helps me out while del runs over to help. we walk through the front door following cass whos following nicks up the stairs into their living room, who matt and madi were sat. "holy shit y/n?" madi says jumping up rushing over bringing me into a hug, "what?! no way is y/n here?!!" chris shouts from the bathroom, you can hear him rushing out to see if im actually here. "no fucking way" matt stands up pulling me into a side up after madi let go. chris then runs out the bathroom wrapping his hands around my shoulders "i cant believe youre actually here" he says grinning, "me neither" i mumble, he takes a step back placing his palms on the corners of my shoulders, "are you okay? where have you been??" he goes on to ramble before nick stops him, "chris she just walked through the door, please give her a minute" he says as we all walk to the sofa, sitting down. "im okay" i sigh a little.
everyone talks in their conversations, while ive been sitting in silence spacing out then Delilah wraps her arm around me, "are you okay y/n?" "mhm" i nod absently, "baby look at me" i slowly turn to look at her seeing a concerned look over her face, "whats going on?" "m'just tired del" i hum. "okay c'mere" she says bringing me into her chest, i lay there and close my eyes, easily falling asleep.
-NO POV-
"is she okay?" matt asks from the end of the sofa, "yea shes just tired" Delilah nods, stroking her fingers through y/ns hair. "i dont wanna overstep but is there something going on between you and y/n?" chris leans forward looking at the two sat together, blocking their view of madi and cassidy sharing the corner, "no not at all, shes my best friend", cassidy laughs a little shaking her head a little "del calls y/n baby because y/ns the youngest and smallest out of all of us, so shes like our baby" "ohhh" chris leans against the back of the sofa. nick turns to cass and whispers in her ear "theres gotta be something going on between them to or am i reading this all wrong?" to which she quietly giggles and whispers in his ear "oh a hundred percent, i just dont think they know it yet" she nods in the direction of me and delilah laying together.
after another couple hours of talking everyone eventually goes to bed, madi and nick going to nicks room, matt and chris going to matts room, and Cassidy going to chris room. Delilah decided to stay on the couch with y/n, not wanting to disturb her sleep.
-7pm-Y/N POV-
we all hung out today at the triplets house, we watched movies, ate snacks, talked and what not. "i thinks its time i go home, its getting late and i wanna get in my bed" i laugh a little nearing the end of my sentence, "what if your dads there n/n" cass asks, "im not sure if he will be, if hes the one who brang me to the hospital he would've for sure disappeared after" i shrug, "let me take you, then i can be there for you if he is" matt suggest standing up, "thank you matt" i say getting up but then falling back onto the sofa, i chuckle before speaking again "got a bit dizzy there" i try stand up again but delilah stands with me, "ill come with, see you later everyone" "byee" we all exchange byes before walking down to the garage.
-7:56pm-
"okay we're here, ill walk up with you two incase your dads there then once everything is all good ill leave you two be" matt speaks, getting out the car following me and delilah, "Sounds good" i say and delilah nods. once we get up to my apartment you can see the door is slightly ajar, "del the doors open" i whisper pointing to the door, she turns to matt behind us who has furrowed brows and is walking to get ahead of us. he reaches the door as pushes it open to see an empty apartment, "is he in there?" del asks, matt shakes his head, "doesn't look like it" he stated walking in, looking around, "y/n theres a note on the counter" he yells from the kitchen, me and del walk in hand in hand into the room. i look at the counter picking up the note, i open it and read;
'y/n if youre reading this that means you got home okay i want you to know that im sorry im not the father you deserve which is why you wont have to deal with me anymore i should've quit drinking for you but i just couldn't its not your fault, none of this im sorry it had to be this way mum would be proud of you dad x'
i wipe a couple tears falling down my cheek as i speak up "i dont think hes coming back again" delilah picks up the note giving it a scan over before dropping it down and wrapping me in a hug. ive gotten a lot of hugs recently. "im sorry y/n" matt says from behind me, i turn my head to him "thanks matt" i sniffle, "im gonna head out, is that okay?" he asks, "of course matt, del ill be back im just gonna have a shower quick" i say walking to my room, matt following behind me as my bathroom is on the way to the front door. i push open the bathroom door to my dad on the floor in a pool of blood. i let a loud scream falling back into matt, who looks confused before he sees what i have. del rushes over to see me on the floor hiding my face in matts chest, "whats?! matt what is it??" del says sitting on her ankles next to us, matt hasn't said anything still in shock but trying to comfort me, delilah turns her head to see the horror i stumbled upon. she doesn't say anything but lifts me up from matt bringing me into the living room, sitting me on the couch by the arm, "stay here y/n itll be okay" she whispers before walking into the hallway. the words in his note repeat in my head 'you wont have to deal with me anymore' 'its not your fault' 'im sorry it had to be this way' again and again in my head, i start to lose my breath, feeling like i cant breath, my vision starts to blur itself, i cant focus on anything but the note and the scene in my bathroom, "y/n? y/n you need to breath" del tries to help, "matt!" she yells. "y/n listen to me you need to focus on breathing can you do that for me?" matt says in a steady voice, "look here copy my breathing" he lifts my hand from my lap, uncurling it from its fist placing my palm on his chest, "you feel that, there you go keep going youre doing so well y/n" he reassures me, after a few seconds my breathing regulates and my vision focuses on matt infront of me, holding my hand against his chest, he lowers my hand into my lap "its okay y/n, youre okay" del says from next to me holding onto my other hand. i struggle for what to say for a minute before whispering "he- he left me" dropping my head, closing my eyes "hes not ever coming back" i shake my head a few tears falling onto my lap. del moves her hand up and down my back "itll be okay y/n i promise".
-
this is rlly old, like i think its the second fanfic ive ever written idk
this bitch has been sat in the drafts for time lmfaoo but i havent posted a fix in a while sooo🤷♀️
THANK YOU FOR READING
LOVE U HOES
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