#a weird tell but an accurate & consistent one

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[breakbreadwithme]

because im a repression professional, i know im currently in a Bad Spot & have done some stupid shit in the last 36 hours but also im just blogging away & making things & doing chores & feeling absolutely Nothing while im doing it

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 16: Initial Thoughts

Sorry for missing episode 15 :(

That being said, oh my god, Chapter 2 is actually complete! This is so exciting! I'm really hyped to talk about this episode and give my not-live summary of my live reactions!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT THROUGH THE END OF CH 2!!!

CW: Murder, sacrifice, suicide

The Reactions

12-1, this time. I'm still personally partial to the extra vote on Teruko last Trial being Arei (being petty about her "I'm voting for you no matter what" thing), so I would assume Ace is the Teruko vote. If so, I do think it's interesting that he voted Teruko as opposed to, like, Nico. Then again, it might be that it's just more convenient for DRDTdev to consistently put the extra vote on Teruko, lol.

Notably, the dead people have "N/A," not 0. We probably could tell this because of Xander last time, but I didn't check. I wonder if this implies we won't ever need to vote for someone dead (ex. a mastermind who "died" earlier in the killing game).

I'm free... I can read whatever Eden says as genuine...

Take THAT, Whit time loop theorists /j

I do think it's funny/kinda telling? that Whit is only saying this after the trial is over. Like, I feel like the normal time to go "oh my god we're having another trial" is, like... when you find the body? So, it's interesting that his reaction is so delayed.

So, I don't know if this was an intentional parallel, but...

These feel similar to me. I really like the Ace/Arei parallels, where they're both chronically hated people, but Arei apologizes and tries to change whereas Ace lets the fear and paranoia consume him until there's no turning back. Ace only says this after he's already been found guilty of murder; Arei says this before promising to change her ways to the victim of her bullying.

Teruko out here hopping on that self-blame train.

It's so funny how different Hu's standards are when talking about Ace's murder vs. Nico's attempted murder. Like... Hu this is what everyone was telling you like an hour ago. What.

It's really interesting that we're highlighting this line. I wonder if this is part of a theme that we're going to explore further, maybe tied into the "all murderers have to be punished" thing. Or maybe Eden isn't actually accurate here, but doesn't know it; has Ace killed someone in the past?

Fun trick you can do here!

When we first met Teruko a week ago, she was the same person, certainly, but she was also different. She was happier, and she trusted people more.

There are so many good character parallels in DRDT. The Ace/Teruko one was really interesting in this post-trial.

Ooh, new flavor of J anti-murder! This seems to be broadening it to also being critical of the killing game, which would go against my weird hypothetical "J is anti-murderer but also the mastermind" read.

It's interesting, with how this is Ace's logic. It makes total sense for his character, though. I think it's easy for us, the viewers, to forget the fact that the characters probably don't have the precedent of "every blackened ever always loses." When Ace is running the odds, he thinks his survival odds were better as a killer than as a participant in the killing game. And y'know, considering how close he came to dying as Nico's victim, that's kinda fair.

I desperately want to know what Levi was going to say here.

I really like the fact that Ace DID care about Levi. That he intrinsically cares about him, but he knows factually that he isn't supposed to like or trust someone in a killing game. That once he killed Arei, he had to resolve to kill everyone in the killing game, even Levi.

The only way Ace knew to prevent himself from caring was to stay mad, I guess. Kinda unfortunate though, considering that I do think Levi wanted to patch things up with him genuinely.

Meanwhile, Levi, who doesn't understand emotions, is just like "man what the fuck. That makes no sense."

What a pair. I'm sad we're not going to get to see their dynamic anymore :(

In other words, I'm back on the Levi survivor train baby! My biggest problem with it before was that I thought Ace was gonna survive and I didn't think Ace and Levi were both gonna survive, so now we're locking tf in!

This is fun! I always wonder why more people don't try stuff like this. Like... shoot your shot. You're gonna die otherwise, soooo...

Great animation as always

I think it's really funny that Teruko is so fucking mad that she bullies Ace into action. Like, that's so fitting for both of them.

I love using this David expression here. He's just like, "was it that easy? Why was I trying to throw the trial then???"

aaaaAAAAAAAA--

What the fuck!! XF-Ture mention!!!!!!!!

I like the spooky vibe MonoTV has for this post-trial, but I do hope we get our normal silly lil guy back next chapter. I like the MonoTV personality we see all the time. I'm gonna miss it if it just died like that :(

I am also squinting so hard at everyone's reactions through "who is the mastermind" goggles. Maybe I'll analyze them in a different post sometime.

Fascinating purpose. Not "to create despair." Not "to run the killing game until only one participant survives." To kill everyone.

Does this include whichever mastermind?

Why does whoever programmed MonoTV want to kill all of these people? Are they being punished for something?

This countdown sequence fucked me up. The tensions and emotions are so high. Even as someone who was confident that Teruko, at least, wasn't going to die no matter what, I was so on edge. I got really scared that Eden was going to take the hit for Teruko, though, and that's what I was reading into when I wasn't sure Eden would make it to Chapter 3.

This speech, more than any other one Teruko has made or any actions she's taken or endured, really made me feel for Teruko. The fact that she can so casually talk about truly traumatic and horrific things happening to her, while smiling, truly shows how much she's grown used to it. Like, girl. You don't deserve this. What.

The character work on Teruko especially this episode is just fantastic. No words.

This panel stressed me out so bad because it was really just a question of WHO took the bullet for Teruko. Like, if she's thinking this, someone clearly did.

My bets were on either Eden, Charles, or Ace.

Levi, though, was such a surprise to see. Like, in a good way. It means so much.

First of all, it's a callback to the end of the prologue. Levi attacks MonoTV, and when MonoTV tries to kill him in response, Teruko's danger sense alerts her. It's only through Teruko warning Levi to move that Levi dodged the main attack, resulting in only an arm injury rather than death. Now, Levi returns her favor, preventing her from dying from attacking MonoTV.

Second, it puts Ace into the position we see of having to confront the possibility of Levi's death. I got the distinct sense that they wanted Ace to be able to do something heroic on his way out, to prove all the haters wrong (which is why I thought it was possible he'd take the hit for Teruko instead of Levi). By putting Levi, pretty clearly the person he cares most about, into harm's way, it makes Ace take action. It means that he HAS to confront the fact that he cares Levi, and that he has to die.

And, thirdly... I am so fascinated to learn why Levi did this. Was it as simple as a transactional, "you saved me from execution before?" Is it "I thought saving someone would make me a good person?" Does Levi actually feel some remorse for Teruko in this moment, causing him to take action?

No matter what his reasoning, I can't wait to hear from him. I strongly suspect Levi won't actually die from this (at the very least, I hope not, because I really want to hear more from him), but even if he does, hopefully we'll still get some more insight in a bonus episode or a flashback or something.

I'm trying to figure out what triggered Whit here.

This is immediately following "The elevator won't open," but it also definitely can just correlate to "[person] will die if they don't receive immediate medical treatment." I have to assume that something here is reminding Whit of his mom...?

With the weird "Whit knows a lot about hanging" earlier, I got the impression that Whit's mom probably hung herself. From this, I would probably theorize that Whit found her while she was still alive, but not quickly enough to save her. Yikes.

Anyways, I think that means everyone has some kind of despair sprite now! That's fun!

o7

I'm sure many have pointed this out, but do we think he's counting himself here (Arei + Ace + Levi = 3), or do we think he feels responsible for someone else's death in his past (probably Taylor)? I'd lean towards the second one.

Y'know, before I thought Arturo was just pressed about the surgeon thing because people were unfairly hating on him. This, at least, I think implies something relating to Felicity.

Arturo doesn't have any experience saving lives. He left, and Felicity died. He can't save lives; he's only responsible for Felicity's ending. I think that's how he sees it.

On a side note, I think there's a very definite possibility that Chapter 3 cold opens on Arturo saving Levi's life??? Like, how Chapter 2 started with Eden POV, I think Chapter 3 could start with Arturo taking his shot at healing Levi, eventually resulting in Levi stabilizing. I'm not sure who would be there with him. Possibly Hu, since she was leading the "let's get Levi to the infirmary" effort...?

I love executions like this. Accirax has said before that the best executions are what make their recipient feel the most despair, and that's definitely what they did with Ace here. Put the talent aside; fear is what Ace fears the most.

Uhhhh. I'm pulling an Accirax. Part 2 in reblog!

[nakylvr]

— SÃO PAULO

daniela avanzini (katseye) x fem!reader

summary: going to a rave in the middle of the summer wasn't exactly on your to-do list. but when your best friend dani offers to take you to one, you have a hard time saying no

warnings/tags: language, nsfw content, rave setting, drug usage (acid & molly), switch!daniela, switch!reader, semi-public sex(bathroom), oral, fingering, praise

wc: 2,5 k

now playing: são paulo by the weeknd & anitta

minors do not interact

this is pure fiction for fun, do not come at me 🫵 but it is accurate descriptions of the drugs so pls don't do drugs cause i wrote this, i aint responsible for what u do🙏

for the past week, you had been dealing with your best friend, daniela’s, attempts at trying to get you to go out to a party. well, not exactly a party, but a rave. you have no idea how she found out about this, but you didn't care at the same time. you didn't bother asking how she found out that there was a rave on saturday night, knowing she would counter it by saying “so you're interested?” 

so here you are now, sitting in your car in front of the big warehouse, mentally preparing yourself. unfortunately, you ended up giving in to dani’s consistently annoying manner of asking you every day if you were going to go. you couldn't lie and say these environments weren't your thing, because they really weren't. you only came along because you wanted to make sure dani would be okay. but, you didn't say that. with a sigh, you turn off your car and get out, walking up to the door and pushing it open. you're immediately met with bright strobing lights and booming loud music, and your nose scrunches up in discomfort at the sight. this was going to be a long night.

you swerve through the sweaty bodies, thankful you were wearing a short crop top and shorts with how hot it was already growing in there. your eyes wander around the place, trying to find daniela when you suddenly feel arms wrap around you, causing you to jump.

“calm down, ‘ts just me,”

you can barely hear her voice over the music, but you know it's daniela by the way her arms subtly curl around you and pull you closer to her. her words are slurring, and you can smell the alcohol on her.

“‘m glad you came,” she murmurs into your ear. 

“how drunk are you, dani?” you question, trying to ignore her words, but not being able to meet her glossed over eyes. 

“only a little,” she answers, but she’s swaying from side to side, giving a different answer. “c’mon, you need to have some fun, yn,” she pouts at you. “you want something?”

“excuse me?” your eyebrow arches, looking at her now. “dani, i’m not going to drink-” 

“hold your tongue out.”

“what?” you look at her with even more confusion. “dani-” you glance down at what she's holding in her hand, two small pills and two tiny pieces of paper. “oh my god, what else are you on right now?” you hiss out, almost angry. 

“it's just half a tab of acid and the smallest dose of molly possible,” daniela ignores your question about her, telling you what's in her hand. “everyone here is on this shit, you’ll be okay, trust me. ‘s long as you stay with me. ‘m taking it too.” 

your first thoughts are being angry at the fact she was obviously on what “everyone” was on, but the way she's talking to you, saying that you’ll be fine as long as you're with her, the anger fades away. “okay, fine,” you sigh. 

dani smiles at you, taking the pill from her hand and handing it over to you. you take it from her and quickly swallow it before she holds the paper near you.

“hold your tongue out,” she tells you. “it's gonna taste weird, but keep it in your mouth for as long as you can, then swallow it. you’ll feel it within the hour.” 

you comply, holding your tongue out and letting her place the small paper on it. you aren't really listening to what she's saying, too busy trying not to stare at her, your heart racing at the sight of her. you feel the paper touch your tongue as she pulls her hand away, closing your mouth by your jaw, her thumb grazing over your lips. 

“let's have some fun, yeah?” she grins at you, quickly taking both the pill and tab for herself. 

all you can do is nod your head, not trusting your voice to respond. she grabs your hand and pulls you through the bodies, stopping in the middle of the warehouse and smiling at you. 

“you look really good,” she tells you, her eyes shamelessly eyeing you up and down. 

your cheeks grow hot at her gaze on you, averting your eyes from hers. she grabs both your hands, starting to sway around which causes you to do it also, and you're doing your best to not feel like you're gonna panic within the next hour when it kicks in. you know dani has done these things before, seeing as you've had to help her the morning after when she would call you in the early hours saying she was having a bad trip and needed someone. one too many times have you drove over to where she was to pick her up and bring her back to your apartment with her almost nonverbal as she stares wide eyed at every light she sees. yet, here you were, not being the one helping her, but doing it with her. you trust her more than anyone, and you know she wouldn't give you anything that could possibly hurt you, which is enough for you to let your anxieties fade away. 

within a few minutes you find yourself enjoying this. the edm music isn't terrible, and the colorful lights distract you from the crowded environment that you're in. daniela’s eyes haven't left you for one second, and she's asking you every now and then if you're okay, which you just nod, smiling and continuing to dance. 

time flies by quickly, and you can start feeling the weird effects of what you assume is the drugs you were given. your body feels hot, and the lights feel 10x brighter than they were earlier, almost blinding you as you sway around. your back is facing daniela, who is eyeing you with hungry eyes while watching you let go and finally enjoy yourself. she can hardly think with the mixture of alcohol and drugs in her, but all she knows is that she wants you. she's known it for a while now, but didn't want to fuck anything up with you and lose you. she's surprised she hasn't accidentally blurted it out yet on the many times you've taken care of her while she was high. 

her arms snake around your waist from behind, pulling you so close that you're pressed against her. she stares at you as you sway to the hyper music, your eyes closed relishing in the feeling of everything. she wants to kiss you so badly, her eyes flickering to your lips every other second when you suddenly turn your head and open your eyes to look at her. 

you smile at her, your arm hooking around her neck, hand grasping her nape as you pull her in to kiss you. dani’s eyes go wide when you kiss her, but she instantly kisses back, her arms tightening around you. your lips feel soft against hers, and she can taste the lipgloss you put on before arriving. you practically melt into the kiss, moaning softly when she manages to pull you even closer. all you can think about is how good her lips feel pressing on yours, and you're desperate for more. you part from the kiss, panting as you rest your forehead on hers, staring into her eyes. 

daniela can barely process what's happening before she realizes you’ve dragged her into the dimly lit bathroom. you close the stall door and push her against it, leaning in and kissing her deeply. she can't stop the little noise that comes from her throat as you do so, a bit embarrassed by her own reaction with her cheeks flushing bright red. she doesn't know what to do, her hands shaking before finding your waist and grabbing you to hopefully ground herself some bit. your hands trail up and down her body, fingers grazing against her skin under the shirt she was wearing, your touch feeling like a burning sensation with the mix of the drugs. 

dani gasps into the kiss, her eyes closing when she feels your hand dip into her jeans and start circling her clit with two fingers, gripping your waist tighter. her head leans back and hits the door with a quiet thud when you pull away from the kiss, her mouth falling open as quiet whimpers come from her. 

“f-fuck, yn,” she whines your name. “more, please,”

you don't respond, instead taking your hand out of her jeans and unbuttoning them, tugging them down her legs onto the floor. you drop to your knees, pushing her legs apart with your face inches away from her dripping core. you stare up at her as you lick up her folds, hearing her gasp and grab your hair. your hands hold her thighs as you slowly push your tongue inside of her and quickly start thrusting in and out of her, moaning at the taste. 

“o-oh my god,” daniela moans, pushing your head further into her. she whines loudly when you switch to suck on her throbbing clit, tugging on your hair. “keep d-doing that- f-fuck!” 

you move one of your hands from her legs, lining two fingers up to her entrance before slipping them into her, causing a loud moan to come from her at the action. her hips start rocking against your fingers as you build a quick pace, long whines and moans falling past her lips as her head leans back against the door. your eyes remain looking up at her, watching the way her face contorts with every movement you make, her eyebrows scrunched together and her eyes squeezed closed. 

dani can barely think about anything at this point, except the fact that it feels so good with you finally touching her like this. she’d been craving it for so long, and it was almost overwhelming with the amount of pleasure she was feeling. her chest heaves up and down, breathing heavily as she feels the knot building in the pit of her stomach while grinding against your hand. she isn't even trying to be quiet, her moans echoing in the room without any care. it was feeling too good for her to be quiet, her noises becoming more whiny as she feels herself growing closer to the edge. “fuck, you're gonna make me cum!” she whines. “don-don’t stop- shit- please,” 

you don't say anything, speeding up your fingers and curling them inside her leading her to let out more higher pitched moans at the feeling of you hitting her g-spot. she finally opens her eyes and looks down at you, whimpering at the dark look in your eyes as you watch her come undone before you. her eyes lock with yours, and you curl your fingers again, making her let out a long whine as her eyes roll to the back of her head, cumming on your fingers. 

you slow your fingers to a stop, leaving little licks on her clit before standing up again. you bring your fingers to her lips, which she parts instantly as you put them in her mouth. she moans around your fingers at the taste of herself, gagging lightly when you prod them further into her mouth, her hand grabbing your wrist. you pull them out of her mouth, a string of saliva connecting when she suddenly spins you around and presses you against the door, kissing you roughly. you let out a noise of surprise at the sudden action, kissing back as you feel her hands roam up and down your body. 

dani’s hands move under your shirt, fondling one of your tits and smiling at the moan you let out into the kiss. she parts from the kiss, panting through her words. “you're s’ fucking hot,” she mumbles. “be mine, please,” her voice almost sounds pleading as she says this. “please, i’ve been wanting you for s’ long. just-”

your hands cup her face, causing her to stop talking as you smile at her. “of course, dani,” you reply. “i’m all yours.” 

she smiles back at you, kissing you again as her hand trails down your body to under the waistband of the shorts you were wearing. she dips her hand in, pushing your panties to the side and dragging her fingers up and down your wet folds, collecting your wetness on them. “you're so wet,” she murmurs against your lips. without another word, she slides two fingers in you, your walls swallowing around them.

a moan escapes your lips at the feeling, your arms wrapping around her neck and pulling her close to you. parting from the kiss, you put your face in the crook of her neck, moaning into her skin as your hips subconsciously roll against her hand. “fuck, d-dani,” you whimper pathetically. 

“keep makin’ those noises, you sound s’ pretty, mi amor,” daniela mumbles into your ear, thrusting her fingers in you at a steady pace. 

you can't help but whine at her words, clenching around her fingers at the petname she calls you. she slips a third finger in you, stretching you out as you bite down on her neck while moaning. “oh m-my god, dani,”

dani hisses quietly when you bite into her neck, but doesn't stop or even slow down her fingers one bit, her unoccupied hand around your waist holding you against her. she smiles at the way you moan her name, and she wants to hear it more. she needs to hear it more. she didn't think you’d sound this pretty while she makes you feel like you were on cloud nine. “you're so tight around my fingers, fuck,” she breathes out. “mi hermosa niña,” she mumbles affectionately. 

you feel like your head is spinning with the mix of everything you’re feeling. her body feels hot pressed against yours, her touch electrifying as she draws circles on your lower back, her affectionate voice as she talks, her long fingers curling their way inside of you as your mouth is agape with loud noises coming from you. you can't think anymore, the only thing on your mind being how good you’re feeling at the moment. you know someone could come in at any moment, and dani knows it too, which is why she speeds up the pace of her fingers, leaving you whining loudly into her neck. “f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum!” 

hearing your whine, daniela curls her fingers in you again, hitting your g-spot with you rocking your hips with more desperation. “cum for me, mi buena niña,” she whispers into your ear, using her thumb to rub your clit quickly. 

your eyes squeeze shut as a scream-like moan leaves your mouth when you cum on her fingers, clenching around her tightly and pulling on her hair. you whimper quietly as she pulls her fingers out of you slowly, not moving your head from her neck as you pant heavily. 

“are you okay?” dani asks you softly, glancing down at you. 

“yeah,” you answer in a mumble. “can we go home?” 

“yeah,” she nods. “i’ll get us an uber or something. i’ll pick up your car here tomorrow.”

“okay,” you say quietly. “i love you,” you whisper.

“i love you too,” daniela replies in a second. “let's get out of here, yeah?”

“yeah.” 

[tomwambsgans]

tom & greg + fixation on, and fear of, sexual assault

of all the characters involved in a plot centered around a sexual exploitation scandal, it's ironically not any women but tom and greg - the very characters through whom we're introduced to the exploitation - who show repeated concern for their own bodily autonomy, particularly on a sexual vein. that particular point of irony serves to exemplify their outsider statuses that remain in spite of promotions, marriages, etc, but also, these aspects of their characters being so consistent tells us a lot about their relationship to the entire culture of masculinity, not just waystar.

greg in particular is practically introduced with a fixation on sexual assault. his character in general is a notably un-sexual being up until the end of season 3, with the only allusions he makes to sex until then being a matter of himself as a victim. that fixation/fear becomes most apparent when the notion of prison comes up - and it is clearly the chief worry driving that fear for greg. in contrast, tom does have other repeatedly expressed worries about prison: non-sexual autonomy lost, a lack of comfort, a lack of Finer Things, particularly food and wine... but (implicitly non-consensual) sex makes the list and is also brought up multiple times, interestingly with less apparent fear than greg's. this may be due to tom already having a pragmatic relationship with (heterosexual) sex that allows him to plow through a series of sexual encounters that are tainted with elements of Wrongness - the idea here being that a fear of sex is just kind of normal for tom, so he's used to it. he has a very high tolerance for pain and physical discomfort. it's less losing autonomy and more acknowledging he barely has any to begin with. he's less panicked, more resigned. perhaps even less of a victim and more of a... coerced participant, because to even conceptualize himself as a victim would be too vulnerable. one more character does allude to being victimized by sexual assault, meanwhile - roman. where he contrasts with both tom and greg, though, is that rather than fearing it happening in the future, there's instead the idea of it having happened in the past. there may or may not have been any actual event or even a theme of sexual abuse in roman's childhood, but we get multiple notions: roman jokingly threatening to accuse connor of "diddling" him, the vibes that float around the dog pound story and how he "went weird," "yeah they raped me a little," his inability to pee around other men and the implication he's seen a therapist for it... and of course, this:

which is where roman's relationship with all of this contrasts the most starkly with tom and greg's: whether he's truly a victim or not (and if he wasn't, he clearly does at least cling to the notion as a potentially easy explanation for all that's wrong with him), he turns around and starts weilding the idea himself. furthermore he communicates, in that particular deleted scene, his knowingness of something between tom and greg. and he reinforces the idea that there's something wrong with it. the scenario he evokes, where greg is a Victim and tom is a Perpetrator, isn't accurate whatsoever, but it sends a message, implants an idea, sets the tone, etc - sex between men will always include those two characters. this is, undeniably, the precise reason for both tom and greg's fixations on being a sexual victim of other men. the canonical fixation in and of itself, and its uniqueness to the two of them, may as well establish this - in the gender theory of the show (and also real life), tom and greg are of a different gender class than Real Man. they are adjacent to women. to be frank with you, they are faggots. both know on some level that intimacy with men is what they want, and therefore, however consciously, have that sense of their role in the world being a vulnerable one. there are elements of both fear and fantasy, building off of each other: "this is inevitable because of what i am" and "what if i enjoy it, what does that say about who i am?" and "if i have no choice in the matter, then maybe i'm free to enjoy it." there's a loop of freedom from contending with one's own desires -> a hyperawareness of them. now, roman may join tom and greg in being Categorically Less Of A Man, but he still sits above them on the axis of class and therefore doesn't feel the same ramifications. tom and greg are not only gay but live far more directly in the Real World, with origins in the present and physical homophobia of the middle and lower classes. tom also knows the corporate homophobia from climbing his way up and gives greg the crash course. tom and greg's differences wrt their fears of SA lie in self-awareness, self-hatred, and how successfully each of them have already carved out a space for themselves in the sexual hierarchy. but ultimately what they have in common is the most significant: their inability to fit authentically into the world of the roys. their shared uniqueness, amongst the elite, in having a body - one that can and often does experience pleasure and pain. in having real desires and therefore being vulnerable. in being gay little nudie turtles underneath.

[batw1nggg]

ive always interpreted postgame hajime/izuru as for the most part separate entities but with a degree of fluidity too (some days they can communicate some days they cant, they can very distinctively tell who’s fronting some days and some days they can’t at all, some memories they share and some memories they don’t and some memories may get mixed up between the two etc etc) but ive always liked to think that komaeda, with his freakishly observant nature, teaches himself how to clock which one is which pretty accurately.

hajime doesn’t always tie his tie evenly, izuru always ties it perfect. izuru always sits with either the worst or best posture youve ever seen, hajime is always somewhere in between. only hajime seems to wear casual clothes. if the tie color is any different from the usual green, that’s izuru. izuru styles his hair a bit neater, and if they’re overdue for a trim, izuru’s probably been fronting for a while. hajime likes his coffee fairly dark, izuru likes it with 10 spoonfuls of sugar.

so using this he can also tell when one is masking as the other (usually it’s izuru masking as hajime because he doesn’t want to deal with everyone —save for komaeda —being an ass/generally weird to him unprompted. theyre still working on that. but hajime has his reasons sometimes too). hajime’s tie is a little too perfect today. he’s being slightly quieter than usual. he recoiled when kazuichi leaned in to clap him on the back — but only slightly. no one else would’ve noticed.

sometimes these conflicting tells don’t indicate one pretending to be the other, but a more merged state. distinguishing that tends to have a larger margin of error, but when one masks as the other, usually the tells are consistently towards one or the other, and when they’re more merged then the tells are mixed (wearing casual clothes but having neat hair but having hajime’s posture but having izuru’s sweet tooth for example).

a couple years postgame i think komaeda learns to tell when they’re talking in headspace too, based on the tiny little changes in expression when they zone out. to tell WHAT theyre talking about komaeda definitely needs situational context (ex: if hajime randomly zones out while youre talking to him, izuru’s probably commenting on something you or he said. given enough context, komaeda can even guess what izuru says too), but he can usually at least tell when theyre talking. hajime’s subconscious facial expressions are more obvious then izuru’s, but if izuru’s brows are a little furrowed while he’s zoned out then they’re talking, and if his face is completely neutral then he’s just zoned out.

of course komaeda is wrong sometimes, because things aren’t that simple. but he tends to be freakishly accurate. once he picks up on who’s who that day, he’ll walk up and refer to them by name and get it right first try and no one knows how. sometimes komaeda only needs to see the back of him for a second or two before he can tell (that’s already three things he can observe: hair, posture, and if the back of the tie is tucked under the shirt collar properly. hajime usually forgets to check that). or sometimes he’ll go “does izuru want to add something?” if he can tell they’re talking to each other and everyone is like how could you tell.

the freakish observation is returned on hajime and izuru’s part of course, but it’s different because komaeda is no Ultimate Analyst or anything. it’s just a gay tendency.

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

The Chen Xiao dive makes my head hurt

This post was originally going to be about different hypotheticals as to how Cheng Xiaoshi's possessees feel after the fact. It was great! I had a nice little three-items list, a brief text-to-world connection about dissociation, and a solid two jokes in there. But then I got sucked into the problem called The Chen Xiao dive, and then it was over. So… let's get this started.

Chen Xiao's dive introduces two major pieces of evidence to us, which each support two different models of how Cheng Xiaoshi's possessions work. One supports the theory that the people he possesses don't remember the experience; the other one supports that they do. Let's start with the one that doesn't involve time paradoxes.

During episode five's ending, we see that Chen Xiao has a ring on during the train scene, and also a child to whom he sings the same lullaby as his mother does. If we go back to episode three, when he was approaching Qiao Ling, we notice that he didn't have the ring on, in either the close-up of his left hand or any of the wide shots, whereas in episode five he had it on in both. This, combined with the framing, heavily implies that the dive Cheng Xiaoshi performed granted him enough closure to get married, have a child, the whole nine yards. Now, since Cheng Xiaoshi's actions only really influenced his memories, we can conclude that Chen Xiao remembers everything that Cheng Xiaoshi said to the dead, proving that Cheng Xiaoshi's possesses remember the experience afterwards.

On the other hand, Chen Xiao's dive is unique in that the memories of the dive nullify itself. Let's call Cheng Xiaoshi's dive point A, and the day of the earthquake -- exactly the way it had gone without Cheng Xiaoshi's influence -- point B. Point A is caused by Chen Xiao seeking out the protagonists' services. He does so because of point B, which left a lot of regrets for him. But the moment point A occurs and Cheng Xiaoshi dives, point B no longer exists, because Cheng Xiaoshi has replaced it with his own version of events. But since point A only occurred because of point B, that means point A doesn't occur, so point B occurs, but then point A does occur… etcetera etcetera. Essentially, Chen Xiao can't both remember the day as Cheng Xiaoshi modified it and seeked him out to change the past; it's one or the other. If this paradox looks familiar, it's a version of the grandfather paradox.

This then presents a problem. The ring says that the dive must've changed Chen Xiao's life substantially enough that he spawned a whole child into existence. The concept of causality says that the dive must not have changed it enough to affect his decision to seek out Cheng Xiaoshi (or, more accurately, Qiao Ling). So he both remembers and doesn't remember the dive. That's wild, man.

So the simple solution to this is that the production team didn't think that hard about how possessions affect the clients' memories, or about time paradoxes, for that matter. I kind of doubt this one, just because of how… metaphysically rigorous Chinese media can get. Like, do y'all know how many times I've been randomly hit with a complex. internally consistent, metaphysical model of sentience or time or whatever while consuming Chinese media? A weird amount.

So we're going to assume either case, and try to find solutions to the paradox in either situation. The first assumption (because it's easier) is that we're going to assume Chen Xiao didn't keep Cheng Xiaoshi's memories, and still remembered the original day. Solutions include:

He wasn't wearing the ring when he approached Qiao Ling for whatever reason. We only see him wear the ring while he's in his own apartment and with his own child, and in all other cases post-dive his left hand is either covered or way too small to tell. So it's possible he wears his ring somewhere else -- like on his neck -- when he's out.

The dive changed something about his life which caused him to meet his fiancé. For example, Lu Guang says that in the original timeline, he had been at a noodles restaurant when the earthquake happened. Assuming Lu Guang wasn't lying, maybe being in his own house when it collapsed caused him to meet different people once rescued, and one of them was his fiancé.

Although Cheng Xiaoshi's memories didn't transfer, having Cheng Xiaoshi tank the day's trauma and also grant him some closure might've changed the way Chen Xiao was able to cope after the fact. Even if he still remembered the original day, the emotional shock might've been dampened enough to allow him to move on a bit more.

Production staff genuinely just forgot to animate the ring during episode three (I hope this isn't the case, because then this post would be embarrassing)

I'm leaning towards the third option, just because as a (hobbyist) writer, it makes the most sense to me. This is especially since it seems the show goes out of its way to demonstrate that the dive changed his life. So the lack of a ring during the opener wasn't a coincidence. With that in mind, unless it's a red herring, it wouldn't make sense to go with option 1. Option 2, though, remains fairly open.

Next, we'll assume the second case, that Chen Xiao did keep the memories of the dive. This one requires a lot more time-stuff, and it heavily depends on how Link Click handles its time travel.

Option 1: Photos themselves contain timelines, and Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang Don't Play By The Rules

The Chinese character introduction sheets refer to Cheng Xiaoshi diving not "into the past" but "into the world of photos". As far as I see, the English translation is less explicit but also refers to him "dive back into photos" and not "dive back in time through photos." This is… a fascinating way to phrase things. This implies the photos themselves have something to do with the past, beyond merely being an access point for Cheng Xiaoshi. Maybe, in cases like Chen Xiao's, where Cheng Xiaoshi dives back and technically causes the dive to not occur, there's no need for it to occur "again" in this new version of events -- the photo "has already" been changed, and contains the information to change Chen Xiao's life. This also makes sense with Cheng Xiaoshi's power's limitations -- once he's rewritten the world inside of a photo once, he can't do it again.

As for Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang, we can already assume that, whenever their dives change something about their past -- like with Xu Shanshan, or Cheng Xiaoshi's dive into Lu Guang in season two -- they both remember the "original timeline" instead of the modified one. That's generally a given with time travel stories. In this hypothetical, then, Cheng Xiaoshi's dive does cause his dive to not occur. However, both him and Lu Guang still remember the request and remember performing it, since it was part of the original timeline. And since the change is stored in the photo, Chen Xiao's life is permanently altered despite the dive now "not occurring."

This is my favourite theory, because it is supported (or, at least, not contradicted) by two details from the show. One is when Lu Guang hands Cheng Xiaoshi the photo to dive into it, Cheng Xiaoshi remarks "hey, isn't this the photo that I developed a few days ago?" This seemed weird at the time, but it establishes something: that Chen Xiao had already visited the studio, even without the intention to request for a dive (assuming that wasn't part of the "research" he was doing on if the witch was real). This makes it so that when Chen Xiao comes back later to develop the old photos in the camera, it's not strange that he chose this studio in particular. He did already come here once, after all.

Second is when Lu Guang informs Qiao Ling that they won't be doing any more requests for a while. She says: (I'm going to use my own translation here, because I think the English translation doesn't get some of the implications across）

Qiao Ling: “What are you doing? You're quitting just like that?" (implication: quitting casually and without cause. The direct translation is literally "you say you're quitting, so you're quitting") Lu Guang: "We just want to rest. The normal operations of the photo studio will continue." Qiao Ling: "Cheng Xiaoshi. You also want this?" [awkward head tilt] Qiao Ling: "Ah, fine. We'll start again whenever you're adjusted."

Qiao Ling acts a little weird here. If I were her, and my surrogate little brother and his partner suddenly stopped wanting to fulfilling commisions, right after finishing a commission, I'd probably assume they wanted to stop because of something to do with the last commission. This isn't me hating on Qiao Ling, either. It's that her behaviour makes a bit more sense if we assume that, from her perspective, Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi just came up to her one day and went "we're not doing this anymore" out of nowhere. This supports the idea that to everyone else, the dive might as well have never happened -- only Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi remember it. Side note, tying the dive to the photo itself also works well with Lu Guang making sure the photo wasn't destroyed during the Xixi dive. I think that this is the most plausible theory, and the next two are more interesting hypotheticals than possible theories, so feel free to skip them.

Option 2: Dives are simply incapable of cancelling themselves out.

There's a few ways this can be achieved. One is that if a dive changes the past sufficiently enough to cancel out the original reason that led to it occurring, some sort of time-maintaining… thing gives it a new reason to happen. For example, maybe the version of Chen Xiao that remembered Cheng Xiaoshi's dive approached him to get him to try to save his mother, or not bother his crush's family, or something. This is somewhat conflicted by the fact that Lu Guang made an effort to make Cheng Xiaoshi pick up the photo during his dive into Li Tianxi -- one would think that, even if he hadn't, it'd be fairly easy for the timeline to go "heehee hoohoo Qian Jin picked it up later" or something like that. But -- no! Cheng Xiaoshi had to go pick it up! Lu Guang does say "If the photo is gone," though, so you could say that maybe the father would've destroyed the photo if Cheng Xiaoshi hadn't picked it up.

Overall, this theory is interesting and makes sense from the universe's perspective. Like, if I were a universe, I would preferably not give some random dude a power that could totally break causality and cause me to collapse. That seems a bit… excessive. However, while this works for niche cases, it really doesn't work for the more general possibilities of Cheng Xiaoshi's power. It just seems way too contrived, and require more and more contrivances the more you go through layers of dives and justifications. Because then Chen Xiao basically always needs a reason for Cheng Xiaoshi to dive, no matter how the day had went in the first place. It also would change what exactly Cheng Xiaoshi dives for, which is, again, messy…

Option 3: Causality has low RAM. This one really lays it on thick with time-physics, so, be warned.

Let's sit through a hypothetical together. You and I are gods. There is a switch with an on and an off state between us. I am the god of the Switch Being On. You are the god of the Switch Being Off. If the switch is On, you turn it off, but then I turn it back on. Then you turn it off. I turn it on. Ad nauseam towards infinity. My action causes your action, nullifying my own; your action causes my action, nullifying your own. Neither of us can be satisfied at the same time, so we keep on going back and forth, forcing the switch between these two states -- on, off -- forever.

Back to the time travel Donghuas featuring doomed men. Think of the timeline's two states as "Cheng Xiaoshi dives" and "Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't dive." The Gods pushing it back and forth between these two states are causality and… causality again. Except -- this is where the low RAM bit comes in -- causality isn't instantaneous.

Many of us are familiar with the concept of time being an extra dimension that we move through. But what if there was a fifth? What if time itself had time? If we treat a timeline as the same as any other simple object, we can think of the concept of causality, some force which makes it such that the timeline's events have logical order to them, as just like any other process: the melting of ice; the wilting of leaves; the erosion of rock. If this is the case, it's possible to have a paradox like this one. Below is a diagram:

Let state 1 represent the "original" timeline where Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't dive, and state 2 represent the one where he does. The black line represents the time that Cheng Xiaoshi dives at, and the "beginning" of the timeline represents the day of the earthquake. The end of the timeline goes into infinity We can see the changed version of events propagating through the timeline via causality. But the moment* it hits the black line -- Cheng Xiaoshi's dive -- it immediately changes the starting point of the timeline, which starts also propagating at (presumably the same) speed.

*"The moment" here referring to some point in fifth-dimensional time.

So then the timeline, or to be precise, the version of the timeline the protagonists exist in (as of episode five, season one) would be anywhere in between the fifth and the ninth timeline on this diagram. And depending on whether or not you assume there to be higher dimensions past the fifth, the laws of causality in those dimensions, how you assume memory to work -- and how the memories of time travelers work -- this model can… do a lot. In terms of plausibility, I'd rank it the lowest, just because it's functionally a truncated version of my personal pet theory of time (if versions of it exist in other media, I've never seen them), so it's pretty unlikely Link Click follows it. Also, the extended version of this theory does imply things which aren't evident in Link Click. So.

These are all the theories I'm gonna cover. If we get into all the different models of time and the likes, we'll be here for something like another couple thousand words. There are just some loose ends I want to wrap up:

Emma questions Cheng Xiaoshi if "you were the one who sent that text" (paraphrased because I don't want to go back to the episode to check phrasing), suggesting that she doesn't remember getting possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi. It supports the first assumption, that possessees don't remember what happened during the posession, and remember the original timeline. If possessees do remember the original timeline, it's possible that they might still feel somewhat dissociated from those memories, which may lead to them coming to the conclusion that someone else was in their body at the time, like Emma does.

Lu Guang makes a big deal of not changing the timeline when they dive. Assuming the universe hates time paradoxes, and doesn't allow them to exist, this could be him worried about the butterfly effect or, as he says, rendering their present future nonexistent. If the universe generally copes fine with time paradoxes, this could be him worried about the effects of "playing god" in a sense of the word, or about affecting the timeline in unpredictable and potentially negative ways.

[pearypie]

I made a meta post about Ophelia like 3 years ago on a blog I have since deleted. Here's me trying to rewrite it without the twitterspeak.

I feel like a semi-popular take back when LB2 first came out on NA was that Ophelia was not actually in love with Kirschtaria, that she had mistaken admiration for love out of compulsive heterosexuality, and that she was actually in love with Mash.

I think the first two parts of that statement just straight up aren't true. It's a cool idea, but I just don't think you can dismiss her feelings for him as fake without dismissing her arc entirely? At that point, it's just a different character.

Ophelia isn't mistaking admiration for love; the entire first half of her arc is the reverse, with people constantly trying to get her to admit that she is in love as she insists that the only thing she feels for Kirschtaria is admiration. "Admiration" isn't consistent with the weird, singleminded devotion she has towards him. This is pointed out. She eventually admits she is bullshitting you.

Yes, it's true that she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings for him, but she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings about literally anything... which is, you know, the point of her character arc. She doesn't love Kirschtaria because a relationship between them will never happen; I think it's more accurate to say that the impossibility of those feelings are why she refuses to admit she loves him, and why it's so important to her development that she does.

So she expresses her feelings for Kirschtaria by doing her best to advance his goals. It's the only way she knows how. But her behavior towards Mash is actually kind of similar; she debuffs her own servant when he attacks her (knowing damn well that the whole Lostbelt is screwed if he "dies"). That's a bit much for "I want to be her friend." On her deathbed and throughout the Lostbelt, she herself admits that her feelings for Kirschtaria and her "desire to befriend" Mash are in direct conflict; she can't commit to fighting Mash, but she can't betray Kirschtaria, either. It's an either/or. She's being pulled in opposite directions.

Almost as if her feelings for Mash and her feelings for Kirschtaria are similar.

Ophelia doesn't even know Kirschtaria that well. They didn't talk much in Chaldea, no matter how much she wished to. They aren't particularly close. All she really knows is that he risked his life to revive the other Crypters, but that's just one moment she has zero context for. Why would she be in love with him?

Ophelia doesn't know a single thing about Mash except for the general circumstances of her creation, which she can see herself in. They didn't talk at all in Chaldea, no matter how much Ophelia wished to. The Mash she sees now, in front of her in the Lostbelt, is an entirely different person -- strong, beautiful, self-assured, nothing like Ophelia. An enemy that must be defeated at all costs. Why would Ophelia want to get closer to her?

And with Mash, you can read it how you wish -- platonic or romantic doesn't matter so much. The irrational part of Ophelia's feelings for Mash is that they exist in the first place, where the irrational part of her feelings for Kirschtaria is that they're specifically romantic. It makes sense for Ophelia to admire Kirschtaria's power, and it makes sense for her to admire him as a person. These are consistent with the stories she tells about herself. But it doesn't make sense that she's in love with Kirschtaria, and that's why it's important that she does. It doesn't make sense that she'd want to be friends (or more) with Mash; that's why it's important that she does. I'm sure the intention is "just friends", but the way it's positioned in the story -- in opposition to Ophelia's loyalty to Kirschtaria -- implies much more. So YMMV.

Ophelia is ashamed of herself for having feelings she can't explain, for being hopelessly devoted to a man she barely knows, for selfishly wanting to get closer to a sworn enemy. She hates herself for having these desires because she knows they'll never be realized. She's supposed to be competent! She's supposed to have her shit handled! She shouldn't be preoccupied with regrets and impossibilities. That's the central conflict of her emotional development; the "irrationality" is precisely what makes those emotions important.

Her feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are, ultimately, two sides of the same coin. Either/or. So I think that acknowledging Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria as valid actually strengthens the argument that she's in love with Mash.

She's torn between her feelings for two people. She doesn't have the strength of will to fully commit to fighting Mash, but she'll never betray Kirschtaria, either. She can't decide whether she loves or resents her parents. She can't decide whether she wants to interact with or shun others.

Ophelia's problem is that she lacks the confidence, maturity, and resolve to follow through on her own emotions. She can't be true to herself. But her emotions contradict themselves, and she herself doesn't know what being "true to herself" would actually look like. So the resolution isn't just to pick a side and stick to it...

Ophelia's coming-of-age story is about having the confidence to acknowledge her own feelings, the maturity to understand that they're still valid despite being irrational, and the resolve to know that she's no less of a person because of it. Yes, she and Kirschtaria wouldn't be a good match. Yes, the idea that she and Mash could have any sort of relationship considering the circumstances is bizarre. But those feelings exist, and there's nothing wrong with her for having them.

She thinks Mash and Kirschtaria are an either/or, but those desires can exist simultaneously. She's fine the way she is, contradictions and all. And it's only when she realizes that that she's able to get up and stop Surtr.

TLDR: Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are inextricably linked because they occupy the same role in Ophelia's character arc. I think she is probably bisexual. I wish she got more screentime. I reread her FLB chapter and now she's my favorite Crypter again.

[yuseirra]

Onk Chapter 159 review~

(a small comic for starters :) either way, Ai will still kick his butt)

yes, I had been spoiled; yes, and I actually like it, as much as it leaves at a cliffhanger and leaves you in confusion(why is this comic always like this) The way it ends is indeed, quite shocking, isn't it? But I think I understand where it's coming from.

I honestly won't have a clue on just what this story is going to be unless it's not going to be like what I write here; If that's so, then I'll just sit back and just.. let the story run along after this~ I'm pretty confident, for now though!!

The development in this current episode aligns with the interpretation I initially had back when I hopped onto the series, right after 153-154. It feels like I've been reset XD

It's pretty good, right? It's entertaining and well done. There is no need to fuss whether "Kamiki is evil!!" or "He's the final boss!", at least not right now, that'd be determined in the following eps. but for now, I think I have an idea of what it's trying to convey.

He DOES look super evil in that last panel (I keep staring at it for how ridiculous he looks)but let's look into the things that are being discussed for now-

Judging by the reaction he has, Kamiki never stopped loving Ai. The reaction in chapter 154 and the current one can coexist as emotional responses.

But it seems that after Ai died, Kamiki did a lot.

It actually matches really well with the interpretation I made after reading chapter 154 for the first time! I mean this comic I drew. I thought I might have went a bit overboard with it for awhile, for Kamiki's actions after that chapter felt milder than that, but now that 159 is out, it... seems pretty similar.

Sometimes, the first answer you pick on a test is the correct one, right? I laughed...perhaps I should trust my initial feelings about things more...they may tend to be the most accurate.

He has this, "I'm already beyond hope now, I can't be saved" vibe to him. And I saw this coming all along, I kept wondering just what is it that he'd have done. It's been pretty vague except for that case with Yura, right? (To be honest, the one death that bothers me a lot is Gorou's. Did Nino and Ryosuke kill him?? Why did Gorou die?? I really hope Kamiki wasn't involved with that case because that leads to really weird sorts of conclusions... killing the doc that helped deliver his own children;;; I hope it's just Ryosuke and Nino that's played a part there)

Judging by how he reacts to Aqua, he does have paternal love, and Kamiki’s attitude towards his children is consistently kind and gentle. His way of speech is...I've been sent the leaks in another language right..; I can tell. He speaks in a really.. kind and gentle way. Even in that last panel as well. He's so tender with his way of speaking when he talks towards his kids, so much like the lyrics of Mephisto (how the song is like as it ends) I feel like he is, or at least used to be, a sweet person. Talking to his fully grown son like that.

It seems like he genuinely wants to watch his daughter's performance. I feel Kamiki cherishes and cares for Aqua and Ruby. As for whether he would go so far as to harm the children to save Ai... I think the chances of that are low. Ai’s judgment seems correct, and if Kamiki had married Ai and lived with her, he would have been a kind and gentle father to their children.

At the same time, though, he thinks it's too late to save himself now. The attitude he has feels like self-mockery or despair. He's a bit out of vigor, in my opinion(aside from that last panel).

The key is figuring out what exactly the "lies" he told was.

Judging by Aqua's reaction, Kamiki’s involvement in Ai’s death should be minimal. If it weren’t, there should be some anger connected to the mention of Ai’s name as Aqua brought it up. For example, "Ai trusted you until the end, she wanted you to help you, but you made her die!" Because it's very natural, right? If Kamiki killed the very person who wanted to help him, it's natural to bring that up as you mention the "help".

But that’s not the case. Instead, Aqua's reaction is something like, "I’m supposed to help you, as Ai said, but you’ve been telling this 'ugly lie for your own sake' so I can’t."

I think that, to evoke this kind of response, Kamiki must have done a lot after Ai’s death, thinking he was doing it for her, but deep down, he knew it was a lie he told himself all along, and Aqua is calling him out on it.

It doesn’t seem like Kamiki killed someone with the thought that "no one can outshine Ai" (that would be really stupid;;), but rather, that he made sacrifices because he wanted to save Ai or bring her back to life. In that case, what Aqua is saying here translates to: "Hey, would Ai have wanted that? That was a crazy thing you did for your own sake and pleasure, thinking 'Ai would want to live' or 'Ai would want to reunite with the kids in any way possible.' You know that's NOT what she has ever wanted, but you lied to yourself convincing it would all be okay as long as it came true. That makes you an ugly liar."

If Kamiki did kill someone, Aqua really should report him to the police instead of meeting one-on-one. Report him, for crying out loud! Why doesn't he do that in 155 and why doesn't he try to do it now, either? He just walks up to him and starts a conversation. Didn't he figure things out with Akane earlier? Can't they just turn those pieces of evidence they found to the police if they have them?

So... that's why I’m not sure if what Kamiki did actually involved killing someone... Maybe Aqua didn’t report it or he can't because there wasn’t enough evidence? Yura is dead, that's a fact, but well, we know now for sure that Kamiki did not play a part in Ryosuke's death(who cares about him but yeah), and if he isn't the one who's killed Gorou (the one who did it is Ryosuke and Nino is his acquaintance so I think there's low chance?;) Maybe he didn't kill Yura either. He says it's his fault but at this point, I don't think he's the one that's responsible for Ai's death. There is a reason I'm saying this, stay with me for a while, okay? But he's still done something that Aqua deems as a "selfish lie".. I just don't know how severe this guy can get and what he's done but I guess he's done some terrible things...

Moving on, I don't think this character would hurt Ruby or Aqua or anyone else at this point. (Although... who knows; if he feels like he has nothing to lose, he might...) It seems like he intended to end his life to offer as the final tribute, and Aqua came to stop him. (Like, Aqua came to him to "save him" on Ai''s behalf. He didn't say he's come to "punish him" for his misdeeds... so I think it's safe to say Aqua's come to save his butt) It might tie into the supernatural elements that pop up occasionally, like when Kamiki mentioned the "gods" in chapter 147 or talked about no longer needing to offer "sacrifices." There were many intriguing and important things mentioned in that chapter.

It seems like Kamiki thinks he’s done wrong, but he can’t stop himself from continuing on the path he was, so he wants his children to kill him or get revenge on him.

Nino is truly crazy... It's unhealthy to be fixated like that on just one single person... I don’t want to think too deeply about it because it’s not something I want to empathize with. I don’t wish to feel any pity. If I were to analyze it deeply, I could, but this is the kind of dark human psyche I don’t want to delve into because it takes energy and I don't feel it's that worth it. It's already been displayed so well in this chapter, and it's creepy and perfect as it is so I don't think it needs further explanation, she's just as I pictured her to be and even.. damp and scarier in eerily realistic ways.

If I were Ai, I’d grab Nino by the collar and ask, "Nino-chan, Why are you doing this to me? Why are you like this? What did I ever do to deserve this?" what the heck...poor Ai. it's too much. She's scary.

Ryosuke is out of his mind, and what has Ichigo been doing all this time if he knew something?... Perhaps he needed solid evidence and wished to catch her when she took action? But...; I really wish Ichigo did better when Ai was still alive if he knew what was going about with Nino and Ryosuke and Ai......

So, was Kamiki the one who made Ryosuke and Nino "that way"...(as in, hopelessly insane about Ai)?

No, that's not how it's going to go.

Looking at his past, there’s no big reason or motive for Kamiki to have done something like that and I don't think he could have coerced them to feel that way about Ai, they brought it upon themselves; (Honestly, I'm curious, what’s the connection between him and Nino and Ryosuke? At this point, I feel like they did not have any particular connection before Ai's death, at this point)

Kamiki clearly recognizes that Ai is just a normal girl who has cruel and selfish sides (this is a strong difference from Nino and Ryosuke). I'm not sure when he formed that idea, but he is at least aware of that, as he's doing whatever he's been doing.

That means, if Kamiki decided to take some extreme actions "for Ai", it wouldn’t have been because of some superficial motive like wanting Ai to be perfect or the best idol(Ryosuke and Nino's actions fall here) . Instead, it would have stemmed from a more practical desire, like wanting Ai to come back or get closer to her. For Kamiki, Ai isn’t a fantasy; she’s real. She’s a person he loves. That’s why the song Mephisto and Fatal suits him. Kamiki doesn’t need Ai to be an invincible idol; he just wants the person he loves to be alive.

So, tying it into the theme of this manga, I come to the conclusion that:

It wasn’t a single person like Kamiki who made Ryosuke and Nino the way they are, but rather, the public’s expectations of Ai.

This connects to the story explored in the movie arc, where people expected Ai to be the invincible idol, leading her to lie and conceal her weak self completely.

If my interpretation is correct... this is where the story is heading.

From the start, there was no such thing as an evil mastermind or anything like that. What happened to Ai was always the result of a fan’s twisted desire for their idol to be flawless, and the public's expectation of idols reinforcing such a behavior.

In reality, it’s Ryousuke and Nino who are insane, but the culture or fervor that creates such crazy people isn’t entirely absent in this world. That seems to be the point being made.

I mentioned this in a previous post: (it's paraphrased and condensed)

"But more than that, I think the main focus of this work and the message it's trying to give is: "Even celebrities are just people in the end"... Ultimately, that's it."

This is... probably it.

If you look at it that way, Kamiki is someone who was separated from the person he loved due to such malice (if Ai and Kamiki weren’t celebrities, they would have stayed together after having the kids and lived happily... What made Kamiki’s life miserable, and brought Ai to believe it'd hurt him less if she broke up with him was the dark side of the entertainment industry. After all, the pain he went through in his entertainment career was too much, and even afterward, they couldn’t reunite despite their feelings for each other because Ai was too successful as an idol. I think that’s why they couldn’t be together). In that sense, Kamiki is almost like the biggest victim of the entertainment industry in the story because not only did he suffer from it all his life, he ultimately lost the very person he loved because of it. Ai was an idol, so there was social pressure and expectations that she shouldn’t have kids or a boyfriend. That’s why they couldn’t stay together...

Kamiki, having his life destroyed by the dark side of the entertainment industry, and upon he lost the one person he loved, Ai, ended up doing a lot of things in desperation to bring her back and see her again. That’s what's going on about in the songs Fatal and Mephisto.

We haven’t seen exactly what he's been doing in the story, but I think the songs fill that narrative. "The gathering of light"... "finding things to fill in what's missing"...

Kamiki just wants to see Ai again. He wants to see her, but he doesn’t think Ai would love him or want to meet him, so he wished for her to come back to life, and when that didn’t work, he tried to get closer to her himself.

His true feelings were that he loved Ai sincerely and only had eyes for her.

But if what he did involve needing someone else’s life to achieve that goal (and the songs do suggest that...), that’s terrifying. Lol

Ai wanted Kamiki to be saved... If there really is a sliver of chance of such things to be a possibility, what he's done should not be that extreme. Kamiki does seem to think he's beyond saving, though.

I made an analysis earlier that he may be lying to appear as evil as he can be to persuade Aqua into believing he should just die there, and that he isn't worth saving... this was before I saw the actual images, but that could be the case too. if he's really planning to give himself away as a sacrifice of some sort or die to bring Ai back/reach her, then I guess it'd make sense for him to appear as menacing and horrible as possible so that his boy wouldn't have to care about him. He IS a liar and he IS a genius actor. He wants to do something for Ai, and I think that still stands. He said he'd do it in 155 - if that means it takes his life to do so, he'd still, definitely go through with it.

We’ll probably find out what he did all along within the next 10 chapters. I also think that the manga now needs to address the stars and the gods;; The idea that Ai became a star was mentioned directly, and Tsukuyomi was also brought up. The stars were beautifully shining during the B-Komachi concert, right? It feels like Ai is giving her blessing. If my guesses about this series is correct, Kamiki should mention stuff along the lines of the supernatural when talking about his motives. I think Kamiki tried to bring Ai back to life. If he hadn’t had that hope, I feel he would have followed Ai long ago. He doesn’t seem particularly attached to his own life. That means there must have been something that gave him that sort of hope. The songs imply something like it. It's made Kamiki believe Ai could come back to life...

I wonder if Kamiki can be saved. The fact that Aqua even brought the idea of helping the guy may mean there still might be a chance. Otherwise, Aqua would just throw him in jail; there’d be no point in talking to him like this, even if it's Ai's wish. Impossible things are still impossible.

But it’s true that Kamiki really fell apart after Ai died. Whether he’s just a pitiful guy or a victim who became a perpetrator (the latter seems more likely...sadly), we’ll have to wait and see.

To be continued, I guess.

That character’s life was truly miserable, but if he ruined other people’s lives, then he should still be punished for that.

Still, In the end, it seems like everything will turn out as Ai wanted, so I’m looking forward to seeing how much Aqua can fulfill Ai’s wishes.

It was a good chapter! :)

Come to think of it, in my analysis of Ai (this was written wayy back in June, when ch 152 was fresh) , I wrote something like this:

Ai didn't want to get back together with her ex because she wanted to continue being an idol. She couldn't have a public relationship. But I think she wanted to show her kids to him because she gained a little bit of courage while raising them. That she could show her real self. When you look at a Ai, you can infer she has a lot welled up. They had always hidden themselves, and now they have "secrets" that are not just their own, living, that grow with time. She's always had vicious circle that led to self-hatred from all the lies she'd been creating, which led to anger and stress…and it was this close to being let out through the movie. Maybe that's why Aqua believes making movies is for her. It's to fulfill her desire to be freed from the lies.

This might have hit the mark. The reason it has to be a movie is because of this… if it was only Kamiki, he could have just been shown the video Ai left, but-

Aqua’s “revenge” has to be fulfilled through a movie because Ai’s situation was caused by the public’s perception of her.

If people had accepted the real Ai as a person, twisted individuals like Ryosuke wouldn’t have appeared, and Ai wouldn’t have had to lie to the person she so dearly wanted to love. If… If only Ai had survived, I think Kamiki could have reunited with her after the movie was released. Because people would have understood and accepted their circumstances. Ai would never have had to die because she had children - for being imperfect and human, as she is.

This is not a story about a psychopathic murderer getting back at his ex-girlfriend or just one crazy fan attacking their idol, it's tackling a much bigger theme than that.

So no, this isn't going to be about Kamiki being the crazy mastermind, quite the contrary. He's the one who's lost his beloved due to a societal belief that idols have to be perfect and flawless. He's the one who desperately wants to get her back after having lost her.

When I think about it, it’s really heartbreaking. Ai and Kamiki could have been happy, for sure. They really could have had it weren't it for this, I feel.

The public isn’t always so cold, so I think Ai might have wanted to take that risk…

++ Oh, wow… Aqua showed up wearing the exact outfit from the Mephisto video!

Then, if my thoughts are correct, the next chapter, or at least within a few chapters, should reveal more about the Fatal/Mephisto storyline in the series. Those songs aren’t Aqua’s, they’re Kamiki’s.

+++ Didn't mention but Kamiki looks even younger than Aqua in that last panel, he looks kinda adorable in a very freaky way. Ai didn't mention his looks for nothing.. he still has it over the age of thirty...

yeah, I'll believe in him for just a little longer. I really hope the next chapter continues where it left off and just TELL US what he's been up to for once. This chapter is 159 so I guess it'd be the last ep of a volume, Yeah, that'd definitely make people wish to buy the next copy

but I really want answers at this point, stop the taunts.

If Mephisto and Fatal ain't the story of this guy then tbh, nothing would make sense to me about this guy nor the story. Aside from the fact that it matches his characteristics and lores in a perfect sense, it's just a really strong hunch I get. The moment I first heard Fatal, I knew it had to be it. I can't explain how it happens but I just know what it's supposed to imply. So there!

Till next week!

[beautifulqueerexistence]

One Week Post-Op (DI Top Surgery update, TW MENTION: Surgical procedure, surgical complications, medical transition, top surgery drains, Hematoma)

Wow, holy crap, my surgery was a week ago already!

I met with my surgeon yesterday for my first follow up! It was really nice to be able to talk about the small hematoma (a blot clot, more or less!) in my left side, and have her concretely tell me that it’s breaking down the way it’s supposed to, that the neon color drainage IS normal (for a person with a hematoma)… And I got my right side drain out!!! The left will continue to stay in until (at least) my follow up a week from today. The hematoma needs to reliquify slowly and drain, either via my drain or by spreading to the surrounding porous tissue by converting to bruising. That being said, my bruising is gonna WORSEN before it’ll get better, but bruising is a good sign that my hematoma is healing. Swelling is pretty consistent on the left, and she said that everything looks amazing, all things considered!

I realized yesterday that I will never again have to deal with underboob sweat, that weird “tuck your shirt under them so your skin doesn’t stick and get all sweaty gross,” or having to “rest them” while leaning on a table. That was a trippy realization, that at some point I did that for the last time, and now I’m just free of it. I was able to soooorta tilt to my right while sleeping last night, and as a side sleeper, I’m ecstatic about that. I looked at my pre-op photos for the first time since surgery this morning and I’m gonna be honest… I’m already forgetting what they felt like. It feels so dissociated bc my brain just so easily clicked into “Yep, this is what my chest is supposed to look like.” Even with the incisions and bruising it still feels like MY (flat) chest just had some surgery. And that’s a super fucking cool feeling, having my chest feel like MINE, finally feel familiar.

My mom thanked my surgeon yesterday for “that (my) smile” and said “it was an overnight difference with him. I can just see him glowing with relief.” I think that’s a pretty accurate anecdote to leave this update off on. More to come as things progress.

Side note- If anyone has any questions about top surgery, drains, hematomas, or anything adjacent, I’m happy to talk! My DMs are always open. I’m by no means an expert or qualified doctor, but I’m always happy to share my experience in the hope that it helps someone else.

[punkeropercyjackson]

@cassieopeiia said yes when i offered to repost my afro-dominican Jason Todd headcanons so they could finally have some accurate latino Jason content so here!!

Both sets of his grandparents were inmigrants who made sure to teach their kids their culture and Bruce,Talia and Alfred did research so he could still grow up in it after he was adopted so he's not disconnected from his culture like you'd expect

Is darkskinned with a big nose,full lips,green eyes and shoulder length black dreads with one of them being white from The Lazarus Pit.As Robin,he wore his hair short and natural(as in,his classic curls but even thicker)

Speaks spanish often enough that it's a consistent part of his speech patterns but dosen't have an accent since he's so good at both it and english

90s/2000s anime kid but specifically watched the episodes and read the mangas in latino spanish whenever he could(Definitely a merch collector too!!!Nothing weird though,i feel the need to say that,he just loves buying volumes and figures and replicas of weapons and plushies-The last one is a secret though)

Has his pre-reboot Robin characterization but got victim blamed and a bad rep anyway because of antiblackness and xenophobia

Bullying Tim for being a gringo is one of his favorote hobby's

Duke and him compare their similar yet different experiences with blackness and got along even quicker than canon thanks to it

Mentors Damian's team The All New Teen Titans and next to Damian,the member he's closest to is Nell

Takes great care of his hair and will sometimes wear red beads-He actually has a couple sets in different shades!!!

Says his favorite color is red because it represents blood on his country's flag and nobody can tell wether he's joking or not

Sometimes feels guilty for 'being a stereotype' due to the whole being born to poor parents who were also addicts and growing up to be a huge asshole with anger issues and a thirst for violence but rarely lets it get to him because he thinks he's the coolest mf to ever exist(but we all know he's actually a boyloser)

Aave user,with his favorite word from it being 'deadass'

And he makes the obvious 'Concha' jokes too for irony because he's demisexual and aceflux

Loves his country's cuisine-especially flan,it's tied with neapolitan as his favorite dessert!-but his favorite type of latino food is mexican!Tres leches cake and tacos and burritos and mexican hot chocolate and all that make his mouth water like Atlantis

Wears traditional festive clothes for special occasions and if he can't,he'll just refuse to go("I'm not going out in public in that!" "It's literally a tux???" "You call that a tux?It dosen't even have shoulder pads!Don't patronize me,Dickardo.")

Listens to bachata for nostalgia reasons and has some songs memorized but generally a female rappers/death metal bands/punk rock kinda guy

Black and latino memes connoiseur,both the classics and newer ones

Adores dominican folklore and uses it's horror mythos as inspo as Red Hood

Thinks 'showing affection means you aren't tough!' is gringo nonsense so he's pretty open about if he likes someone,be it platonic or romantic

Poc4Poc strictly and has a thing for black women

The only thing him and Kyle can agree on is that latinos are superior

Very autistic,with no masking game now or ever due to the norms he was raised in never giving him the chance to learn to.It got him bullied at school and things didn't get better into adulthood until we got to my Rhato rewrite and he got to make REAL friends i.e Reconnecting with Eddie and my self-insert Summer Kent(i got into DC through watching Utrh and starting to selfship with him),Robin-ing up Duke and vice versa and meeting Rose,Artemis,Kyle,Thad and a bunch of ocs by @moonage-gaydream @theautisticcentre @refrigeratedboombursts @mayameanderings and @insomniac-jay

Punkero Gótico(Goth Punk)who's a straightedge as trauma coping,seeks out latino/black run thrift stores,goes to basement shows and charity events and protests when he has free time and usually just asks around for them so he can know,wears dominican themed corpse makeup and is an agender transmasc who describes his gender as 'Mostly nonbinary but being a guy makes things funny as hell and Not That Kinda Girl by Mcr describes me pretty well')

His love for classical literatiure ofc includes latino authors and he played JuegosJuegos.com tons as a kid

Calls Talia Mamí,Damian 'Duende',Duke 'El Real'(Real=Spanish for Royal but also means the same thing it does in english so it's basically him saying 'You're so fucking real' like the slang)and Summer 'Strawberry Pop'(Jason has a thing for pink-coded black women specifically m'kay?)

His favorite Marvel character and lucky for him his Marvel Variant too is Miles Morales.He thinks it's Hobie Browm though(PLEASE He's so obsessed with his non-existent coolness and relatedly Duke's actual DC Variant is Duke 'El Real' Thomas)

And his books Variant is Percy Jackson.The only real differences are 1.Percy is transfem instead of transmasc and 2.Jason's arc is about him being a self-made tragedy and highkey bad person who works his ass off to redeem himself and only works when he's not getting coddling and Percy's is about how she's never done anything wrong in her entire life yet gets treated like shit anyway and deserves to be treated kindly for once no matter how strong she is

My fancast for him is Aubrey Joseph.Everything i've watched of him-Acting AND as himself-is literally just irl Jason Todd.There's no better fancast for him out there,we've found Red Hood y'all

If you call him any version of 'Papí' and you're not Talia or one of his kids:'Lights Out Bitch!!!!'

Canon bonus':His birthday is on Dominican Restoration day,at my villa we sell mini packets of neapolitan cream with little spoons at our schools,his Lego movie is called 'Family Matters' which is the name of an iconic black sitcom and Leon from Pokemon's VA voiced him in the Wfa dub!!!

[monstersinthecosmos]

I really hate posting or acknowledging fandom drama unless it serves to support or encourage people who are feeling down about it but this is a tricky one for me to translate because I'm mad af!

Let's take a deep breath.

The thing is, about fandom! When you first get here, or get to a new one, or whatever! It's weird, there's etiquette built in, there's invisible rules. But the main thing is like, we're all here because we can't be normal about our blorbo, right?

And it's okay if you project on your blorbo! It's okay if your version of them isn't completely canon-accurate! It's okay if you are isolating a single aspect of their personality/backstory to play with because it speaks to you! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DO THESE THINGS.

It's also okay if the canon has conflicting information! It's okay if a theme went over your head and you don't consider it! It's okay if you're the only person in the fandom who notices a certain quality and you're the only one talking about it!!

There is enough room here for all of us!

The ENTIRE POINT of fandom and fanworks is to ask questions about the characters, to dissect them, to put them back together. The point of transformative fanworks is to TRANSFORM! If we weren't so deeply invested in these universes and didn't have questions and didn't want more content about all the blank spots, we would just CONSUME THE CANON LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND MOVE ON WITH OUR GODDAMN LIVES. We wouldn't be bothering to write fic and make art and RP and decode meta! We wouldn't be making this into a hobby and talking about it all day!

It's from LOVE.

So.

I get it, it can be intimidating showing up in a new space or into a new hobby. And sometimes we can step on toes if we don't know all the invisible rules and etiquette. But what I can promise you is that you don't need to make room for people who are rude to you, who try to tell you that their way is the only way, who consistently want to insult you for asking questions, noticing themes, playing with other versions of the characters.

We are ALL HERE to be silly and dick around and have fun, and when someone is being an asshole about it, I think it looks worse for them than it does for you. One of you is minding your business and having fun and the other one is trying to tell everyone what to think lol.

Please protect yourself from bullies; don't let someone police the way you read canon, or the way you speak about your fav, or the fanworks you create. These people are not your friends, and they are not your audience. You do not need their acceptance to have fun and make things.

Fandom shouldn't be this fucking exhausting, yall. It costs zero dollars to be nice to people and let them enjoy their fucking blorbo in peace and you look like a fucking asshole when you don't shut the fuck up about it and sow discord in a shared space.

People's horrendously OOC takes do not affect you at all even a little bit not even when they're so so so so so OOC that you think you need to be Fandom Professor rising from your well to shame us! It cannot and will never hurt you, so leave them the fuck alone and let them have fun!!

[estrellami-1]

Okay so I have Thoughts and I don’t know if they’re accurate but. Anyways

(Also @steddiealltheway if you want to chime in you’re more than welcome, you’re like my only consistent source of Steddie stuff 😂)

They’re not dating, per se. They’re not dating in the way that they’ve never said it, never even thought it.

They’re just comfortable around each other. Eddie knows the slight pinch of Steve’s eyebrows, the slight wobble, the slight squint, means a migraine is coming on. He knows ice helps, he knows dark and cool and quiet helps, and he’s moving before he even realizes, herding Steve off before it becomes a full-blown migraine.

Sometimes he even manages to stave it off. Not forever, never forever—but God he would if he could, he’d take them onto himself if he could—but for long enough. Most times he can’t, but he’s there. Rubs Steve’s hand even as he feels like his is breaking from how hard Steve’s squeezing it, murmuring, “Breathe, Stevie, c’mon,” as Steve practically whines in pain.

He doesn’t think before he moves to Steve’s right side in a loud, crowded room, touching his hip to get him to lean in, murmuring as clearly as he can in Steve’s better ear so he’s got the best chance of hearing anything at all. Sometimes it doesn’t work, so he tries again. Never gets upset, never says, “Never mind, it’s not important.” Simply repeats himself however many times he has to so Steve can hear him.

He grits his teeth in anger the first time he sees someone say, “Never mind,” when Steve doesn’t get it the second time. He puts away the anger for later, touches Steve on the hip, and repeats whatever they were trying to say.

Eddie knows how it is to be lost, to feel like everyone in the room is speaking another language.

Steve knows when Eddie’s having a Day. He knows when it’s a Bad Day versus when it’s a Weird Day. On a Bad Day, he’ll climb into bed and octopus on top of Eddie, cling as tight as he can until he’s sure Eddie can feel him shaking with it, and stick his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck, because he knows the soft breaths on Eddie’s collarbone do more to ground him than anything else could. On a Bad Day, he’ll take Eddie out to an abandoned part of the woods where no one will hear. He’ll hand Eddie the nail bat and incline his head at the nearest tree. “Let ‘im have it,” he’ll say, and watch as Eddie shoulders the bat, moving further into the woods until he finds a tree to his liking. Steve doesn’t ask why any one tree is different. He just hugs Eddie after he’s done, covered in sweat and trembling from exertion, before driving him home to shower.

On a Weird Day, they’ll stay in and keep the TV on God-knows-what on the lowest volume they can still hear. He’ll lay on top of Eddie, or Eddie will lay on top of him. Not squeezing, not like a Bad Day, just existing. Eddie might drift off, or he might just drift, into a different plane of existence. The day Eddie tells him is the day Steve will need to know. It hasn’t come up yet, and that’s normal.

There’s not a lot of words between them. They don’t need them. Just empty air, empty sound. A touch does more. A look does more. An inclination of eyebrows, a slight nod, and Steve knows Eddie’s okay, doesn’t feel like he’s drifting away. A slight furrow of brows instead, and Steve moves over, delicately dragging his fingertips up and down Eddie’s inner forearm until he takes a deeper breath and brings his other hand on top of Steve’s, halting his path. A jerk of the head, and sometimes they leave, sometimes they stay.

A slight tap on his right hip, and Steve is leaning in before he realizes it, inclining his head so he has the best chance of hearing what Eddie’s about to tell him. Eddie taps him on the arm once, and he doesn’t react. A second later there’s a tap on his hip, and his cheeks flush even as he leans in. Eddie doesn’t try to tap elsewhere after that.

The kids don’t question it either. Not in as many words. There’s whispers and nods and smiles, but no one points it out.

They’re not dating. Except in all the ways they are.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Rating Hazbin + Helluva Boss Characters based on if I could tell what animal/creature they’re supposed to be:

DISCLAIMER: This is not an attack on the creators or artists/designers for either show. I already went over the purpose of this on my first post here—I just like to review stuff.

Part 2!

SIR PENTIOUS—SNAKE—5/5

Yeah that’s a snake, man.

While I find some of Pent’s design elements cluttered, he’s actually one of the stronger designs in my opinion. I think the having his cobra hood act as his hair is fun and cleaver. It’s very easy to tell he’s a snake. Not sure why he has eyes on his tail/body? I think they could have just made them red spots but eh.

QUEEN BEE—FOX (?) WITH HONEY BEE ELEMENTS (?)—3.5/5

Bee’s a weird one for me b/c while her design is super super cluttered I can SEE how it could work, and I really do like fun cute fox and wolf girls. The ONLY reason that docked points is b/c she’s supposed to be a fox/bee hybrid (I believe?) but her “bee” elements are so minute that if I hadn’t seen her in a big beehive, I would have just assumed she was as a fox with fairy/insect elements—I wouldn’t have thought she was connected to a honey bee at all. It’s a weird case where she is VERY obviously a fox but it’s not obvious at all that she’s a bee/honey bee. I did want to give a little extra half-point tho b/c I do like her little antennae ears. They’re pretty much the only thing that screams “insect” to me.

STELLA GOETIA—SWAN (?)—3/5

I think I may be going a little easier on the Helluva cast b/c overall they’re easier to figure out what animals they are. I’ve heard that Stella is supposed to be a Swan but I’m not 100% sure. This one is def more on me, but I initially thought that she was either a secretary bird due to her long lashes and the way her hair is styled, or a peafowl (which would make sense b/c her brother is apparently a peacock?) at least I can tell that she is a bird and her colors are accurate for a swan’s. I think the reason I would never have thought of her as a swan is mostly due to her beak size and color. But yeah b/c I can at least confirm that she is in fact a bird I wanna give her a higher score.

I would rate Pilot Stella too, but I don’t think at that point she was meant to be a swan, just a vague bird demon lady. At least I hope not.

MAMMON—SPIDER (OR CENTIPEDE? MAYBE??) —0.5/5

So. Like Angel Dust. The only reason I know that Mammon is a spider is because he was shown sitting on a giant spider web.

I really didn’t think he was a spider/spider-ish looking at all and I still don’t. Even the extra eyes they add to him sometimes didn’t immediately make me think “Spider!” just that it was a demon thing. He really just looks like a jester with extra arms.

His full demon/mega form also doesn’t look very spider-ish tbh, and was what made me wonder if he was actually supposed to be a centipede? I was really disappointed by his “final form” because it’s pretty much the same as his regular form but with more eyes and what I assume is SUPPOSED to be a spider abdomen ?? But then he does kinda scuttle like a centipede at the end so maybe he is supposed to be???? But then why does he have a big spider web???

Also, and I’ll be honest, this is just me being needlessly nit-picky and it’s a small thing but it just irks me personally b/c I don’t understand the reasoning behind this but like. I HATE that his extra eyes DO NOT stay consistent.

The first time we see his extra eyes it gives him a total of 8 so I was like “oh okay yeah so maybe just his final form will be a spider/spider-like BUT THEN HIS EXTRA EYES KEEP OSCILLATING BETWEEN 3 and 4 EXTRA EYES?

These shots are only a few seconds apart like why did they give him MORE eyes when he got farther away? They’re so small that they barely seem distinct? Like if he IS supposed to be a spider you don’t have to keep giving him eyes!!! Stop, stop, he can already see!!! 😭

Maybe he IS a centipede tho? B/c he DOES seem to have the little centipede butt horns (which apparently are just their very hind legs in real life)

And he def seems to move like one in that form. Man idk. Why even HAVE him in a spider web then???

Being an arthropod lover and not being able to figure out what the fuck kinda guy that’s supposed to be is driving me wild tbh 😅

Honestly if Mammon was just supposed to be a clown/jester I would have given him 5/5 b/c yeah that was immediately obvious. But it’s him being a jester-spider-centipede-thing that muddles things for me.

I would put Loona in here but I ran out of pictures for this post talking about Mammons eyes. She gets 5/5 cause. Yeah that’s a classic wolf girl.

[suffarustuffaru]

A while ago someone asked you for your thoughts on Garfiel. I figured the sibling set should be complete, so what are your thoughts on Frederica?

HALLO FINNB!!! interesting question :o my thoughts on frederica are. a little mixed. but ultimately i think what we’ve seen from her so far is interesting and that she has a lot of potential here.

we just dont know all that much about her :(( on one level i get it—rezeros cast is immense and naturally tappei has to rotate through everyone and give every character focus and spotlight at different times. but bc we dont know that much about frederica i feel like shes mostly just Kinda There, yknow? :<< we know way more about garfiel and i feel like frederica being kept on the backburner for so long kinda works against her and the emilia camp in general writing wise just bc she just has to be stuck in I Havent Had My Character Arc Limbo when the emilia camp is the main group we see consistently for rezeros main route ig. or at least thats my thoughts on it atm :<<

plus i was honestly kinda sad frederica didnt get to go along in arc 5 If Only bc she didnt get to see what her mom is up to firsthand. then theres the actual arc 4-5 interlude with frederica and garf trying to bond after sanctuary that i HOPE gets included in s3 :<< frederica is just lacking in screentime and literally almost any info at all for sure. which makes me sad bc tappei LET ME IN I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HER !!! >:(((

and again i get it that tappei cant develop every character in existence at the same time. dude has to juggle the most massive cast especially by arc 7. but definitely this has its drawbacks especially with the way tappei writes everyone. bc at the moment frederica is one of the characters suffering the most from it—she appeared all the way back in arc 4 and four arcs later i cannot tell you all that much about her :<

i do think though that what we do see from her so far is interesting!! her insecurity regarding her appearance, like her sharp teeth, her being so fond of petra while also being so dead set on disciplining petra firmly when needed (which is sweet!!!), that one ss where frederica takes care of ram when shes feeling more under the weather than usual (which is Again super super adorable), frederica listening with a smile as emilia gushes about subaru to her. and also her just flatly pitying otto and hearing this guy say hes totally normal and being like “he Literally cannot perceive himself accurately at all” + dropping otto in the anime just to hug petra is fucking hilarious i need fredotto fics to actually acknowledge this.

but also other details like—and ok granted i dont remember every detail on frederica (yet) but leaving garfiel like that is still kind of. a dick move HAH. and i know her reason was smth along the lines of wanting to improve the outside world for demihumans iirc but like whats her Full Reasons for doing all that?? what was she even planning to do?? why couldnt she talk to or see garfiel more in this entire time period?? i think it comes with the interesting implication that frederica isnt entirely as nice and sweet as she looks—or at least that of course she herself is flawed. which is fun!!

also her relationship with clind is. ………..naturally of course i dont trust tappei with anything regarding children and clinds weird shit with children but ignoring tappei for a moment i do at least appreciate the complicated thoughts frederica has about clind. how she had feelings for him once and they still linger but she keeps her distance bc hes like That, you know? that feeling of broken trust and “i cared for you now what do i do with This Feeling” is So interesting to me i just hate clind’s whole thing with children bc tappei will never write it in an entirely serious and satisfactory manner 😭 BUT greed if and the dynamic between frederica and clind and frederica having to help kill / kill clind bc of greedbaru and echidnas shit is SO interesting (and clinds lore apart from being Creepy About Children is very interesting). but also poor frederica……….. ;-;

and poor frederica bc if the rumors about her getting more development by like arc 10 or 11 are true then shes gonna be stuck in I Havent Gotten Development Yet Limbo for a while ;-;

but yeah anyway. the frederica crumbs so far are interesting, the shit going on with frederica and garfiels family is Interesting, and i definitely dont trust tappei with children 👍 but i hope we get more info on frederica and that her character arc slaps really hard !! i Need to learn more about her!!!

im not fully familiar with fredericas side of the complicated family drama but if memory serves me right her birth was. not an entirely happy affair bc her poor mom has been through A Lot of shit and frederica was a product of that. and then her mom later tries to go find garfiel’s dad. like all of that is just so incredibly sad to me and again, i wish frederica was there to see what happened to her mom in arc 5, and also im curious about how thats affected frederica more in depth. knowing she wasnt exactly wanted. having these demihuman features from her dad (im assuming), whos also One Of the people who hurt her mom. knowing that she was born a burden, learning that her mom cant entirely take care of her and isnt in a stable life situation and almost certainly isnt mentally stable herself. garfiel coming along and their mom leaving. frederica leaving garfiel in sanctuary herself. her growing up admiring clind, which is an unfortunate parallel to what couldve happened with her mom and garfiel’s dad. its just so so tragic to me and theres a lot of things you could explore there!!

frederica to me seems like someone whos probably grown up too fast, who comes off as composed and very disciplined and likes taking care of others but also fumbles a little at growing closer and is insecure and uncertain herself even as shes good at being the older and wiser one to petra and later garfiel a bit. but also we dont know much about her so im kinda just spitballing here but she has potential methinks :,) im definitely sad that it seems like the fact that shes a pretty anime waifu or whatever kinda overtakes discussions on her character sometimes ;-;

and also one of my pals is really passionate about animals and gave me a whole lecture once a few years ago on why they think fredericas beast form design fucking sucks and i cant remember all of their points now but like i Will back them up i think garfiel and fredericas beast forms could look better but im not an expert at illustrating animals so HAH i cant speak on that. but def the eyebrows on the beast designs is so…… whaaaaat is that 😭 go FULL beast design or NOTHING. WHERE IS MY EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA BUFF FREDERICA BEAST DESIGN !!!

also ngl i just think frederica looks really cute in this shot <333 ALSO iirc she feels like she cant wear cute outfits bc shes insecure about her body and :((((( GIVE THIS GIRL ALL THE CUTEST OUTFITS IN THE WORLD PLEASE :((( and also i just think its a tragedy just how much shes sexualized :(( and i just think there are. a lot of AFAB specific and girlhood specific themes you could explore with fredericas storyline but tappei is tappei so all the foundation is there but idk if i entirely trust him. but on another level i think its fascinating yeah!!! sad how much it flies over audiences heads sometimes.

in conclusion: i like frederica i hope we see more stuff from her. and im crying about how she reportedly wont be getting development for a wall :<<<<

[serotoninisheldinkiwis]

spoilers for transformers earthspark (up to ep5) after the cut!!!

so I started watching earthspark and i have EMOTIONS abt it but mainly i'm looking much too far into the interactions between Bumblebee and Optimus and humming in thought

okay so! i'm gonna start off with the characters- Robbie and Mo are very good siblings- even with their faults, which just makes them look like even more accurate siblings- and I like them both a lot! Dot and Alex- we haven't seen them as much, but both of them are really fun! Alex's interactions with Bumblebee are absolutely hilarious as much as they're fandomish, and Dot doing her best to hold her family together- as weird as it's getting- is (impressively) working! All around strong human cast, at least for me! (Schloder is a tentative maybe. don't know enough about him yet but he's kinda a clown)

Twitch and Thrash!!!!! i!!! love them!!!! twitch is lowkey more my favorite (her personality and colors and vibes beseech me) but thrash is also a decently respectable transformer! they're both trying their best and making mistakes and working to fix them. it very much reads as two young people not knowing anything about the world and working it all out, and in general i love that! it has led to a teensy bit of annoyance (HELLO WHEN BOTH YOUR MOM AND YOUR WAR VETERAN MENTOR SAY MAYBE SWINDLE ISNT TRUSTWORTHY MAYBE THAT MEANS SOME TRUST?) but i also know that them experiencing that broken trust leads to the greater understanding of the Difference between the decepticon (only one as far as i know) that's redeemed vs the many others that haven't been

bumblebee!! i'm very much intrigued in this version- he seems older, which his design kinda helps to convey! the more almond-shaped eyes, the all around boxier shape- even with the more rounded shapes that he does have- he just reads as more of a young adult than a teen in this version, which i'm up for!!

but then with bumblebee there's also (what i'm guessing) is a s t r a i n e d relationship with optimus- which is (afaik) the first time we've seen bumblebee and optimus with a strained/not close relationship

i mean. bumblebee's very first episode he was in consisted of:

called out of hiding after who knows how long

being assigned to teach two literal newsparks how to be Cybertronian

him having to adjust to civilian life in the timespan of a day

him having to adjust to being a *celebrity*

him having to adjust to living *with people*

him having to save the life of a kid he was trusted with

and ALL of that was without a support system! bumblebee tried reaching out to Optimus, multiple times! the first time he tried to get help from Megatron- admittedly, he just never got a shot to use that advice, so that gets a pass- but the second time when Elita was on the call? she gave him vague advice, and then hung up on him when he started venting about it. like he hadn't been thrown into a completely alien (to him) situation and was, understandably, struggling. (i also think it's weird that megatron and elita didn't tell optimus that bumblebee called? like you'd think they let him know about the scout HE put on a mission struggling a bit with it

and then episode 5!! bumblebee called optimus! 28 times! 2 8 t i m e s!!! with information that could endanger the kids! and optimus waved it away with 'i was in orientation' LIKE BRO? if your highly capable Scout that's fought in a W a r is calling you that many times, i feel like you quietly step away from orientation and call back to find out what's going on???? why would you just ignore that??? what optimus has essentially done is throw bee into the deep end and toss a booklet of how to build a diy life preserver and i personally am VERY INTERESTED to see where the show takes it. bc i absolutely feel like their relationship is NOT where it normally is in transformers media (which is interesting! a fun change of pace)

either way, you also have the fact that bumblebee says that the Maltos is the first time he's felt part of a team in a long time. how long has he been in hiding? if not too long... how long has he not felt to be part of Optimus' team? how long has it been?